#also once is too much lbr

[trekkele]

You mentioned in one of your tags that you'd like to write a fic where the batkids find out Alfred wasn't so awesome a parent to Bruce and I wanted to ask if you'd like to share some ideas and directions where you could imagine it going?

Would it change the way the kids think and act around Alfred? Or Bruce? And what are some Major Mistakes Alfred made that in retrospect make a lot of sense regarding Bruce's parenting? And what sent the boulder of realisation going in the first place?

I know it sounds like I'm asking for spoilers or the actual, complete plotline which you probably haven't thought out yet, but I'm just curious about various versions of situations and realisations you think could happen. Or things that you'd like to work into your fic but it just wouldn't fit.

Basically, I love your writing and I love this kind of DramaTM within the Batfam and I'd cherish any crumb of information you would like to share.

Thank you and have a wonderful day! <3

Ok so this premise does rely on good dad Bruce, not because shitty parents cant come from shitty parents (they do, usually) but because i think seeing Bruce not do the things Alfred does would be how the kids (specifically Dick) realize what kind of parent Alfred is.

And this is really a reaction to the “Alfred is a saint for putting up with Bruce” fandom attitude because if you, as a parent or a guardian, are incapable of parenting a kid, no matter how difficult that kid is, it is your responsibility to either find a way to become what your kid needs or find someone who can. I know a lot of us had shitty parents but a traumatized nine year old shouldnt be “put up with” or “handled” they should be parented. At the very least they should be loved, and they should know they are loved. (Gets off parenting soapbox, climbs onto fandom soapbox)

Also every time i think about this fic i start thinking “maybe Alfred deserves some more grace” because he was put in a pretty impossible situation immediately after losing two people he deeply respected, if not loved, and lets be reasonable the 80-90s were uh, not an ideal time for difficult parenting, and the therapy available for children back then would have probably made things worse if not outright given Bruce ptsd (if he didnt already have that), so theres that. On the other hand, Alfred is also fairly consistently shown as being deeply unkind about idiosyncrasies, and unwilling to admit when he’s wrong.

And theres only so many times you can call your adult child an idiot, and imply that you believe every one of their choices to be invalid or wrong, before it turns out that you are Part of The Problem, or at the very least, A Bitch.

Anyways.

The thing is, i dont think it would change much. I think they might stop taking Alfreds word as gospel, especially in regards to Bruce, and i think they might be more forgiving towards Bruce when he messes up in the long term, but the truth is that whats it going to change? How do you apologize to someone for that? What are you apologizing for?

Because ultimately i dont think Bruce is ready to admit that Alfred is, or was, wrong. Bruce knows he was a bad kid, a difficult kid. His teachers and his family and the newspapers, and even Alfred, have admitted that Bruce was a hard kid to raise. Probably harder to love. He’s never surprised when people leave him, after all.

He does know his own kids don’t deserve that style of parenting though. But thats because they’re better than him. He has to do better because they deserve better, because he chose to be there for them. Alfred never really got that choice, did he? Bruce’s parents trusted Alfred, and Alfred stayed out of his respect for them. Not the bratty kid who cried for a year and refused to speak and would hide under the bed instead of sleep.

And thats another thing - if Bruce admits that Alfred wasnt a good parent, if he admits that Alfred made some terrible mistakes, does that mean he’s betraying the trust his parents placed in him? Is he casting blame onto two people he can only idolize, because to do otherwise is to admit he doesn’t remember much of them anymore?

As for how the kids find out, i think Dick realized in his own. I think Jason realizes because Dick stops him from walking in and interrupting a conversation between the two and before he can ask whats going on he hears Alfred slap Bruce. Im not sure about the rest.

*i started answering this, got distracted, finished writing it in my head, and then forgot i never answered it in reality. But i think thats most of what i wanted to say.

[daz4i]

i will say. if chuuya did indeed snap out of his vampirism there's no way fyodor didn't notice. he's not stupid and he's obviously perceptive he wouldn't overlook smth like that esp when it has to be noticeable if you're right there next to chuuya. so he either thinks chuuya's working for him bc he wants to (unlikely imo. again he's too smart for that) or they're both pretending and know chuuya's gonna attack him eventually. he probably has something to take care of that and I'm guessing we'll have another chuuya death scare in the process but he will eventually incapacitate fyodor in some way. probably

[musical-chick-13]

The THING is. When people (I am including myself in this) try to talk about how "Why is there overall less of an emphasis on women's stories and female characters and f/f shipping, especially when according to the stats we see being shared, fandom is significantly populated by queer women, hmm this seems a bit strange," there's ALMOST ALWAYS this assumption that it comes from a place of gender essentialism or purity culture or hating every single man for existing or something. ARE there some people who mean that? Yeah, there are going to be people like that in EVERY group of people who try to talk about anything. But when people complain about this, it's most generally because WE EXPERIENCE STRUCTURAL MISOGYNY IRL, AND NOW WE ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME SOCIAL EFFECTS WITHIN SOMETHING THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE "FUN." THAT IS THE PROBLEM.

And this goes for when people try to talk about racism in fandom spaces as well. And ableism. And transphobia. And any other form of prejudice you can think of. Is talking about this in one (1) context that is not directly political going to forever eliminate bigotry? No. Obviously not. But the thing about systemic bias and prejudice is that IT IS PRESENT AT EVERY LEVEL, EVEN THE "FUN" ONES.

[todayisafridaynight]

Mine and Jo meet could you imagine the interaction?

probably not the worst meeting to happen tbh. they could bond over excel. and puncturing people whenever their bosses are put out of order

[ineffablefool]

Everyone else in the Good Omens fandom, apparently:

[Image ID: the “I’ve only had Arlo for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself” meme.  Arlo (a small dog) has been replaced by Muriel from Good Omens season 2.  Muriel is a nicely-smiling woman-presenting angel who, from what the fandom knows so far, is very innocent and naive. /.End ID] 

Me immediately after watching V/H/S/99:

[Image ID: the “I’ve only had Arlo for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself” meme.  Arlo (a small dog) has been replaced by Mabel the Skull Biter from the “To Hell And Back” segment of the movie V/H/S/99.  Mabel is a damned soul in some manner of hell dimension, and her smile is less “nice” and more “deeply unsettling”. /.End ID]

[vaguely-concerned]

Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.)  This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that. 

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)   

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them. 

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly. 

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much. 

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.) 

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

[fate-motif]

list of voyager characters ranked by least to most done dirty by the writers

10. tom paris: this boy got everything he could have ever wanted from a trip to the delta quadrant. he got a bestie who’s way too good for him, a wife he refuses to cherish and yet she married him and had his child!!! and authorities who refuse to punish him most of the time because he’s a pretty talented flyboy. even modern day trek writers cannot start lavishing praise on this douche and like, okay, he’s not all bad, but compared to what other voyager characters had for story potential and performances it’s crazy how good he got it. the only true indignity this bitch got was threshold.

9. neelix: i feel like neelix lovers are gonna brawl with me about this but i’m still steadfast that neelix was one of the characters least done dirty in voyager, but only comparatively. like, if neelix were on ds9 or on tng he would absolutely be considered an insane waste of story potential with his sad clown complex and his weird little relationship with tuvok but lbr. if they had gone even harder on neelix’s tragedies it would have felt less like he’s a sad clown and his sad all the time and that takes away the appeal of the character. also the mere fact he got to date kes when he never would have deserved her in a million years is already too huge a win for him. i mean it. 

8. the emh: he gets to be a step above neelix because the writers are so fucking bad at writing about hologram rights that it’s a serious disservice to him when the whole of the show star trek voyager bends over backwards over this guy and i cannot stand him. he gets all the screentime, all the tragic episodes, everyone is forced to be sympathetic about him, but at the same time the show makes everything so much worse for him by letting him engineer hologram characters on the holodeck to be his toys (when there’s a whole episode where we realize yes the holodeck characters are real and do not like being murdered, so maybe having two hawaiian babes or your white blond 50s housewife fawning over you is horrifying???) the writers of voyager suck so hard they can’t even write their golden boy well enough to actually make the core of his very character ideologically consistent. depressing.

7. seven of nine: i know people want me to put her over janeway, and i refuse. i’ve made no secret of this, i resent seven, i resent her so hard for taking over everybody’s screentime, i find how serious and untouchable and perfect she’s supposed to be among the voyager cast, the show writers absolutely screwed over every other character save for the emh for her sake and i resent that!!! i will never forgive her, even if it’s not her fault!!! but i’m gonna be realistic. it’s the catsuit. it’s the catsuit, it’s the obsession of putting her in the most stereotypically feminine storylines as an extension of finding her humanity, it’s the mere extension of being a woman written by mostly men. she was screwed over, hard, but i’m serious when i say: not compared to everyone else above her.

6. janeway: oh boy. i know, i know, how dare i put janeway over seven when janeway wasn’t forced to wear shrink wrap, but she’s up this high because the writers could not agree over anything she ever did and it shows. god bless kate mulgrew for making a consistent character out of that mess, but if it weren’t for her sheer talent and professionalism, janeway would be up there with archer in the list of captains with the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. the rest of the shows lavish love on their captains. they talk about their backstory in-depth. they let them have romantic adventures every once in a while. janeway gets to be almost solely defined by her mission to bring her crew home and considering how multidimensional characters like picard and sisko are, that’s…depressing. to say nothing of how kate mulgrew was being forced out of spending time with her family for a show that in the later seasons started to edge her out in favor of the bouncier, sexier girl they brought in. like. as a captain, janeway was done SO dirty by the writers. it’s crazy. we should talk about this more. 

5. tuvok: why is he above janeway? … aside from the fact that after they introduced seven his screentime went to the chopping block. to put it simply, waste of potential. so many of tuvok’s episodes rehash his insistence on staying steadfast to traditional vulcan values, which is great, except for the fact that we don’t need that story told over and over and over again when they could follow more interesting avenues that several tuvok-centric episodes pointed towards. we could have seen more of his relationship with janeway in the past. we could have seen him truly come to terms with trusting the maquis with his life in the earlier seasons. we even had a planned episode where we met his family! imagine if we had actually seen t’pel and have her be an actual character instead of a representation of why we’re not seeing tuvok fuck! it’s tragic. it’s absolutely tragic. 

4. b’elanna: ending up with tom paris the way he treats her should make this one a no-brainer, but i’m going to keep going, because there’s a lot more to be done here. the white male writers have no idea what they’re doing writing this character, and yet, much like janeway, roxann just barely claws out a cohesive character from the mess she was given, but that doesn’t mean that the process was graceful. so she hates herself because she thinks her klingon traits make her unlovable, then why make the other voyager characters berate her on her temper incessantly and with no room for argument and make them in the right? are we also supposed to see her as hindered by her klingon ancestry? yes. the answer is yes. the writers are racist. the writers are so goddamn racist it’s nit even a joke b’elanna i’m so sorry they did this to you you deserved so much better. 

3. kes: yes she’s in third place. nobody wants to talk about kes, because her writing was weird, and jennifer lien wasn’t as successful in sculpting an engaging character out of the garbage writing she was given, i say that if b’elanna had been taken out of voyager in s4, the same could be said for her. everything that the writers do to disrespect janeway and seven is triplicated in her, even more so magnified because she’s not a tough boss ass bitch who uses guns, but a lowly nurse, which means the writers are completely disinterested in exploring her inner life. i cannot stress this enough. kes left her homeworld when they are going to lose all support making it in a desert planet frequently raided by slavers, and we never talk about it again. it is galling how little the writers ever give a fuck about her and nobody mentions it, because again. she’s the most feminine of the female characters, which means not even the fans who understand how misogynistic the voyager writers are care about interrogating her inner life and that is the most depressing thing of them all. that’s why she’s the female character done dirtiest by the writers.

2 and 1. harry and chakotay: they’re tied. they’re tied because the racism is just inescapable in both their characters and it’s so ever-present, so impossible to ignore, so repellent that most people give up on even looking at them as characters because they so often end up channelling the writers’ naked, unabashed racism you want to avert your eyes. i mean it. i mute most early voyager episodes when chakotay is onscreen because i hate that fucking pan flute. if you fuck up writing a character of color this hard, you automatically owe reparations. and that’s why i’m fine with that insufferable republican freak robert beltran having been on prodigy because look at me in the eye and tell me paramount did not owe him from everything they put him through while working on voyager. and that’s also why i’m demanding harry be rescued the same way in the future. it’s just reparations. garrett wang is owed so hard i’m not even joking. i don’t care about debates about the other spots on this list so long as you admit that in first place rightfully goes to harry and chakotay. 

[chaos-in-deepspace]

L&DS Xavier: Promise Me | Drabble

Since I forgot to upload yesterday I'm popping two of these in today. This has a little angst, something I say I never write but lbr I love making people feel things. Hope you enjoy this because it's still cute and fluffy.

Pairing: Xavier x Reader Warning: Angst + Comfort Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Xavier

Xavier flinches, his entire body recoiling from your touch. You had a cotton ball doused in alcohol, and a rather pissed off look at the moment. Xavier had come to your apartment, half dead, and you had of course taken him and dragged him to the couch. This wasn’t the first time and certainly wouldn’t be the last time this happened.

You were just happy he actually came to you. He used to just go to his apartment when he was in this condition and would visit once he was better and all cleaned up. This had only managed to piss you off due to how often you’d be waiting for him to return from a mission, never knowing if he was safe or not. You were certain this man had aged you ten years in the time you’d been dating him.

“Perhaps if you were more careful, or better yet brought back up, this wouldn’t be happening,” you scolded him, grabbing another thing of gauze to wrap around him. You knew he healed fast in his sleep, but you also knew he managed to heal even faster if someone took the time to treat his wounds first.

“I’m so-ow,” he was cut off from his apology as you almost dug the thing of cotton into him. You didn’t want to hear it as you went back to cleaning and wrapping, something that was almost second nature to you at this point.

“I’m just worried…” you said with a small frown on your lips. You took a moment to gather your thoughts and cleared your throat, “I’m worried that one day your injuries are going to be too much and you’re not going to come back to me,” you admitted finally.

Xavier seemed taken aback by this, watching how your eyebrows furrowed in worry and how you looked away from him. A small pout was on your lips and he sighed. He took his hand and grabbed your chin, moving you to face him. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, murmuring his next words.

“I promise I’ll always come back to you,” his voice was almost a whisper but you still heard it clear as day. You didn’t even know when your eyes began to tear up, small droplets falling down your cheek as you sniffled.

Xavier seemed to take note of this and was almost cooing as he grabbed you and dragged you closer to him; you were now settled on his lap as he pressed another kiss to your cheek, then another. He grabbed your hand, pressing his lips to your knuckles as he looked up at you through his silvery bangs.

“I won’t leave you. Not now, not ever. Please believe me,” his voice seemed to almost crack as he tried keeping it steady and calm, knowing if he showed too much emotion right now it would only send you spiraling even more. There was an empty pit in the bottom of your stomach as your mind swirled with the worse case scenarios.

“How can you promise that…how can you be so sure?” you asked and he sighed, putting your face into the crook of his neck as he rocked a little with you in his arms.

“Because as long as you remain on this earth, then so shall I,” he said, his breath fanning over your ear as he said those words. Your hands were pressed against his chest, your nails gently scraping over the skin, a small reminder that he really was there with you.

“If I go with you, at least I know you’re safe…please take me along next time,” you finally said, managing to even out your voice as the tears stopped for the time being. He felt so warm and safe and you wished you could just stay like this for a little longer.

“I can’t take you to some of these places,” he reminded you gently, his hand on your back as he rubbed soothing circles there.

“Then don’t just disappear next time. Let me know where you’ll be,” you said, almost angry now that he had once again left on a mission without saying a word to his partner.

“I will, I promise,” he settled on after a moment, pulling away so he could cup your cheek in his hand. He brought you down for a kiss and you melted into it. After a second he parted, “I’ll keep you updated, but you need to do the same for me.,”

You nodded your head before leaning in for another quick kiss, “Alright, I promise,”

Gods I can't believe I'm actually willing to wake up too fucking early just to see a livestream and find out who Sylus is...wish me luck in actually waking up because you're boi is not a fucking morning person.

[cuubism]

Hope for the Future

~2k, Dreamling, 1589 era, post-Eleanor's death, dream conversations and revelations. cw death in childbirth

Dream and Hob meet at Eleanor's deathbed, in a fashion.

--

Ages ago I wrote Patron Saint, a fic about Hob's friendship with Death. For a while I wanted to write a companion piece from Dream's POV since Dreamling is a background ship in that fic but their trajectory is different from canon. But lbr it's been 2 years and I haven't done that-- early on, though, I did write one scene from Dream's POV because I wanted to flesh out a potential moment that Death mulls on in Patron Saint, when she was visiting Hob after Eleanor and the baby died:

“So many babies die,” Hob says. “Mothers, too, I—” he runs a hand through greasy, disheveled hair. “Do you think it will be better in the future? Because I haven’t seen that much improved. Not in my time.” “I imagine so, yes,” Death says. Dream would be able to answer this question for him better. Dream would be able to tell him what doctors might be imagining solutions to the problem, what midwives were dreaming of new ways to care for their charges. Hope for the future is Dream’s business, whether he accepts it or not. She wishes Dream were here. She has a strong feeling Hob would find even his stoic pretense at apathy comforting. Caring for others is strange like that.

Anyway I wanted that scene, I wrote that scene, I didn't write anything else to flesh out a companion piece but I think it stands on its own and can be understood even without reading the original fic.

--

Dream would assert that he did not care about Hob Gadling. He was not interested in Hob Gadling, beyond a passing curiosity in his approach to humanity, sated every hundred years. He was certainly not thinking about Hob Gadling, or his wife and small child and knighthood and other life goals he’d managed to accrue in this century. 

And yet, as he felt a particularly vicious nightmare go for Hob in his sleep, not long after their last meeting, he took note. 

He wasn’t sure why he took note. Perhaps because Hob had been on such a disgusting high last they’d met, it seemed strange for this to happen now. Perhaps because he knew this nightmare particularly well, had crafted it from deep in his own soul, as he so rarely did.

He followed the thread of the nightmare. 

Hob was running. Both from and after something at once. A darkness chased him. And another darkness retreated from him.

“Wait!” he yelled, reaching for it. Smoke slipped through his hands. Hob heaved for breath, stumbling to a stop as he ran out of air. He leaned on his knees, panting and coughing. “Wait,” he sobbed, but the darkness did not wait.

The other wave of darkness caught him, knocking him off his feet so he sprawled on the ground, hands scraping on the dirt. It didn’t attack him, just hovered over him like a blanket of fog, blocking the meager light. 

“You weren’t supposed to go,” Hob said into the darkness. It didn’t reply.

It was not an unreasonable nightmare for a father to have, Dream knew well enough. But the sharpness of those dark shadows – this nightmare was not pure fiction. It was drawing more from memory than he’d thought.

“Enough of this drama,” he commanded the nightmare. “Show me the truth of things.”

The scene of darkness faded to reveal an ordinary, if well-appointed bedroom. An air of sickness hovered, and death also – Dream could feel the echo of his sister near. 

A sickly woman, heavily pregnant, lay in the bed, and it was she that Dream knew was calling Death forth. She, and the tiny baby cradled in her womb, not quite ready to be born, and now would never be.

And Hob – not dying, he couldn’t, but he looked about as close to it as a man could come. Ashen, shaky, trembling.

“I love you,” he was saying, kissing Eleanor’s hand. “You know?”

This was still a dream, and this had all already occurred, Dream knew. There was nothing he could do here, not that he would. He turned to go, feeling stiff and cold in a way he decidedly did not like, when Hob looked up, and saw him.

Dream had not meant to be seen.

“My friend,” said Hob, surprise temporarily wiping the grief from his features. “You’re here.”

“I… am,” Dream conceded, and, drawn in despite himself, sat in a chair beside Hob. 

“I’m grateful for it,” said Hob. Dream didn’t know what he could possibly be providing that Hob was grateful for. Then, “There’s no hope, is there? I mean. I don’t know why I’d think you would know.”

Dream looked at the mother and baby before him. Hob had called him friend. A friend, he thought, would tell Hob that there was always hope. But that was not what Dream believed.

“I do not think so,” he said. “I am… sorry.”

Hob sighed. He was still holding Eleanor’s hand. “I have to tell you, I– whatever I might’ve said to you at our last meeting, I’m struggling to feel any of it right now.”

“That is understandable.” More understandable, Dream thought, than his declaration of Life is rich! that Dream had found so hard to swallow.

“I’ve known others who’ve lost wives, children,” Hob said, and Dream looked down. Hob would have no way of knowing who those others might have included. “But I guess I always thought, not me, never me, never my Eleanor. Not until she was old and gray, anyway. But I guess everyone thinks that, don’t they?”

“Perhaps.” Dream thought he himself had always known the cost would come due. Destiny might have said that was one of the reasons it did come due. You make your own end. But that would not help Hob.

“It’s got to get better,” Hob asserted. “It’s got to. It’s got to stop some day, doesn’t it? All these children, and mothers dying.”

The instinct to sneer at his optimism jumped up Dream’s throat, but he managed to bite it off. He did not want to be… cruel, he realized, to someone who was suffering. Especially within a dream; dreamers’ minds were not for him to subject to his own feelings.

“In Guangzhou,” he started slowly, the dreams coming to him like a light rainfall, “there is a doctor who has just crafted a new medicine to ease pain during childbirth. She has been dreaming of it for years. In Oyo, a healer is learning to tell earlier and earlier when a pregnancy is troubled, that they might intervene in time. A few months more, and they will have it. And down the street, here in London, a midwife is just planting the seeds for the hospital she will open to help unwed mothers with nowhere to turn.”

Hob stared at him. He seemed to be holding his breath.

“Dreamers abound,” Dream said, “but it takes time for their work to come to fruition.”

Hob continued to watch him. Something shifted in his eyes, as he looked at Dream. Dream wasn’t certain he liked it. 

“You know everything, don’t you?” Hob said.

“Not everything.”

“You know all of that,” Hob mused, “all these things that are happening. And… you still come to ask me if I wish to live?”

Dream bristled, and Hob raised his hands in surrender. “Never mind, never mind, forget I said anything. You’re entitled to your own feelings on the matter. Thank you, for those stories. It helps. Truly. And I’m glad that I’ll get to see it. One day.”

“‘One day,’” Dream echoed. “‘One day’ is a time when no children die and no famine walks the earth, when soldiers break their swords before the fight, and later bread with their enemies. One day is always one step into the future, Hob Gadling. Ever-moving.”

“Aye,” said Hob. “That’s the point.” 

Dream frowned. What pleasure could be derived from wanting and wanting, and never having, he could not fathom. He had crafted nightmares thus. What hope to find in hope itself continually being dashed?

“I look forward to seeing you every century, you know that?” Hob added. “No matter what else happens. Bad days, or good ones.”

Dream kept frowning, unsure of the connection.

“It’s important to have those things,” Hob said. He squeezed Eleanor’s still hand. “Even now. Especially now.” 

In Dream’s own… aftermath… he could not imagine finding comfort in anything. What help could some nebulous future date possibly be?

“If that is what helps you,” he said. 

Hob cast him a look like he just knew that Dream didn’t get it, and it rankled. But there was no true criticism in that look. Hob looked at him with an unfathomable fondness, always.

He turned back to Eleanor, just gazing at her face with an expression Dream found difficult to witness in its softness. Were this the waking world, she would have certainly passed by now. But moments could freeze indefinitely in the Dreaming.

“Do you think I’ll forget her?” Hob asked quietly, still looking at his wife. “The details of her face, I mean? Her voice? What she smelled like? My memory’s far from perfect, and there’s a lot of time for it to fade.”

Dream knew without having to actively make the vow to himself that he would be sending frequent dreams Hob’s way to ensure he did not. He should not do so. He should not interfere. 

But.

“There are some things one does not forget,” he said.

Hob swiped at his eyes. He was crying now. “S’pose you’re right.”

If Dream was any sort of friend – and he was not sure that he was, though Hob had declared him so – he would end this dream now and spare Hob any further torment of reliving this memory. 

Instead, he sat beside him, far longer than he intended. Sat in silence, listened to Hob’s breaths, his sniffles as he cried, the subtle movements of continued life. He stayed in this sea of human endings and sickness and grief. With Hob. Something unnameable sitting heavier and heavier within him. And more than once he told himself to rise and to end the dream, and he did not. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Hob finally said, when much time had passed and they still sat side-by-side. And it was this that finally reminded Dream that he should not be.

“I should leave you,” he said, standing abruptly. “This dream is–”

“Wait.” Hob took his hand. Dream should– Dream should yank it away in offense. He should take his leave of Hob instantly for the familiarity, the daring. 

He did not. He merely stood frozen as Hob pressed his hand between both of his own. His touch was very warm.

“Keep all those things in mind,” Hob said. His eyes still glittered with tears, but his words were steady. “Those infinite things you know about the world. Wherever you’re going.”

“I have much in mind at all times,” Dream told him. Hob had no idea how much. 

Hob smiled at him sadly. “I’m sure. Just think about it, okay? Those doctors in those faraway places. Alright?”

Dream studied him, but gleaned no additional information from it. “Very well,” he said at last.

Hob squeezed his hand once more, then let him go.

A friend might comfort him again, in these circumstances. But Dream was not certain it was necessary. He could see in Hob, even now, the spine of a man who would not break, even when he was so far down.

It was… curious.

Hob bid him farewell, eyes just crinkling at the corners. “Until we meet again, dear stranger.”

Dream stepped back into the comforting arms of the Dreaming proper, discomfited by the moment in a way he could not quite pin down, and by his own willingness to stay and engage in it at all. To involve himself in Hob’s life in a way he had not intended. 

“Until then, Hob Gadling,” he said, letting the scene dissolve around them, “this dream is over.”

[buckevantommy]

i'm finally watching the finale of 9-1-1 season 4. can we get more of mehta please? bring him back 👨‍🚒. buck hauling eddie bodily into the truck? a sight to behold 🥵. buck playing medic? love that 🩹.

on a main note: the opening sequence, but especially that lengthy moment where buck tells eddie to hold on, that's pretty gay lbr. idk how y'all survived watching this live with ppl saying you were crazy for reading into it. because i see it, i get it.

i've been watching the series for the first time and haven't really seen much to ship up until this point. but the entire opening scene is the first big buddie moment for me tbh. i mean there was the mud-well collapse, and the 'go for the title' kitchen scene, but i can't really think of any other standout moments that made me recognise what the shippers were latching onto (some of the christmas stuff was pretty cute though).

i do think a great majority of the moments up to this point have been one-sided by buck (unconsciously) - which i love, because obviously we now have canon bi!buck so it makes sense for his character - even if it wasn't confirmed or intended back then it now exists as evidence of his bisexuality. and even though i think s7!buck (and beyond) doesn't harbor any lingering romantic or sexual feelings for eddie, i do think he had them through the years without realising, and then those unrealised feelings shifted and faded.

anyways. i think it does buck's character a disservice to not acknowledge the buddie in his history, whether by the fandom at large or by those involved with the show. i still wouldn't call myself a buddie shipper (yet?) but this episode opener (and i assume a good portion of the remaining ep) is very much about them - or more accurately: about buck's feelings for eddie (and yes, it also highlights buck's tendency to feel things more starkly, intensely, and unrestrained than others, especially when his loved ones are hurt). there are certainly buddie threads throughout the series so far but i don't think it's a stretch to say this ep is the most intense and noticible of buddie story weaves - even if it's only one-sided; but is it? tbd.

but back to this ep: we deserve to see buck covered in blood once more. his blood, a victim's blood, a loved one's blood.. it's been too long. 🫠

[fnich-enthusiast]

Let's talk Olympics AU Javid because they are my FAVOURITE

It's 2016, Davey's attending his 3rd Olympics in Rio, Jack is attending his first

At this point Davey's an accomplished olympic diver, having won silver for men's 10m and bronze for mixed synchro (3m springboard) at London 2012. He's v much the US diving golden boy, and makes the decision to come out publicly in Rio by pinning a pride flag to his opening ceremony outfit, so while the games are happening he's facing a media storm and is under Intense scrutiny from the media, both from left wing media making him a gay icon and right wing media deciding he's a national embarrassment.

Meanwhile, it's Jack's first olympics. At this point he knows that he's bi but has pretty much made up his mind that he's only going to act on his attraction to women and be, in his mind "functionally straight." Dude's on a rugby team, he's going through it lol.

They meet at the opening ceremony where they're both shitting bricks for different reasons and Jack notices Davey's pin and v quietly tells Davey that he likes it.

Davey takes one look at this bi disaster and goes ok cool so he's deeply closeted

Throughout the games they get closer, but Davey also very consciously keeps them hanging out in public spaces super platonically because he's waking up every day to more invasive and homophobic headlines and messages and comments and he doesn't want Jack to get caught up in the crossfire. Him and Sarah both have to switch comments off on their instagram, and their parents and Les have to go private and remove all identifying information from theirs, it's not good

Meanwhile Jack's reconsidering his "only women" rule

Davey and Sarah win silver at the mixed event, Sarah posts about how proud she is of her brother for competing under the pressure of the media storm, and US diving finally acknowledges everything by reposting her, including the #lovewins caption

I think it's this that gives Jack the courage to come out to Davey, it's not his sport but a US sporting body has officially come out in support of Davey (even if subtly). He tells Davey how he's in awe of how strong he's been in the face of everything and how he doesn't even seem scared, and Davey confides in him how Terrified he's been the entire games. It's very obvious to Davey that Jack has a thing for him, and that it's reciprocated, but he doesn't say anything about it because honestly, Jack needs time

In the absolute cuntiest move ever, Davey wins gold in the men's individual 10m, and captions it one of the homophobic headlines.

I can just see Davey pulling a Simone Biles level petty post with him biting both a silver and gold medal captioned something like "David Jacobs' woke agenda is an embarrassment to Team USA"

Jack is so deeply in love lol

It's after Jack's team loses in the quarterfinals that he decides that he just absolutely needs to tell Davey he likes him because girls would be easier but he Cannot lose Davey. They both live in NYC so decide to try but date in secret because Jack's not ready to come out yet, and Davey's not ready for more media attention

By Tokyo 2020 (or 2021 really lol) it's a pretty open secret that they're together. Davey gets more attention than Jack bc lbr some random American rugby sevens players would not be dealing with too much media attention outside of the olympics but Davey is like the American Tom Daley. Jack becomes the captain of the men's sevens team and makes it clear to management from the get go that he's dating a man and will be joining a team supportive of that or he won't play at all. They've not made a statement about being together by the start of the games, but they are openly going to each other's events wearing customised tshirts and stuff so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they're very in love

Jack once again doesn't medal, but Davey medals in both men's individual 10m (silver) and mixed 3m springboard (gold). They make their official "statement" after the games, which is really just a video Jack takes of Davey adding his medals to his display case when they get home which Jack captions something along the lines of "the only reason I haven't medaled yet is that my boyfriend's hogging all the space in the display case"

They get married in 2022 and go into the 2024 and are So Openly each other's biggest fan. Jack's team wins a silver medal and the cameras cut from the team celebrations to Davey openly ugly crying in the stands and making little heart hands at Jack. Jack posts a photo with some cheesy caption like “only the second best thing I’ve won at the Olympics <3” and Davey gets to go from a scared kid being ruthlessly attacked for being gay to posting a photo of himself kissing his husband in front of the Olympic rings

I love them your honour

OG post and bestie credits here

[moonshynecybin]

REPORTER MARC AU???? ohhh it's so good. marc maybe never having met vale. or maybe only as a child. writing almost mythical articles about him. vale who he always wanted to be but failed. they see each other in a debrief and the TENSION is thick and they fuck obv (hero worship + vale has read all his hero worship) but then sepang 2015 happens (um. vale takes something marc wrote as a slight and openly slanders him + ruins his reputation?? not sure). and marc of course still has to write abt vale bc it's his job but. now there's a sharp undercurrent of bitterness? he knows him so well he knows how to get under his skin. and of course vale HATES being known by the media he is always putting on a mask but. marc knows him.

so crazy… and like i think, here the tension isn’t derived from racing competition it’s derived from vale’s insane relationship to fame and the media. like him putting up so much of a mask only for a member of the PRESS to be the one who can see right through him… marc coping with a lot of weird wistful feeling about not being able to ride… career ending too soon but also being JUST like vale concerning competition so he has insane insight… and vale wanting to be vulnerable with marc but being categorically unable to because he’s a JOURNALIST. forgetting himself and then self policing about it…

like. okay so marc has to stop racing sometime in his teens due to (unintelligible health reasons) so he straps on his psycho ambitious little intensely practical brain and goes okay. i will become the best racing journalist to ever live. he understands how to ride he understands the mindset he WAS going to be the next valentino rossi and now well. at least he can interview him. so marc gets a press pass and immediately rocks up to the paddock and uh. charms vale a little. hot smart but not a competitive threat. vale likes him ! marc’s questions aren’t stupid but ARE fun so vale plays ball… and they become sort of friends and flirt a little through the first years… BIG tell all interview at the end of marc’s first season that gives him SO much more credibility as a journalist… like they never quite make a move on each other because vale will NOT risk any sort of gay affair involvement with a JOURNO but they are in love. like obviously. making eye contact with each other in presscons it’s very sweet. everytime marc drops a piece everyone is like wow this is the best and most revealing vale interview in years :) and eventually, vale is like. uh oh ! oh no ! like he did not mean to share his secrets to this twink reporter he just. love his ass unfortunately

and maybe after that they fuck ONCE . just to “get it out of his system” and then it DOESNT go away and vale freaks out. pulls away goes cold clams up in press scrums… but all the while marc’s low empathy career obsessed ass writing such beautiful articles about vale (and so horny lbr). and they’re SO intimate and comfortable and frankly getting a little too close to the beating lurid heart of him… marc is seeing. he is perceiving. he is spinning it out onto the page beautifully because that is his JOB… and after they fuck and there little too much wanting on both sides. and vale shuts him out HARD. but marc (now heartbroken. framed photo of vale and him on his first day with press access in his office) is still writing those insane articles… pissed that vale is fucking with his career so he’s going even HARDER now… and vale hates being seen but also can’t get over that marc sees him. that he understands him. insane emotional experience… like what if you wanted to be seen so badly but also we’re so so scared of it when it actually happens because of your fame trauma….

[greisekinderschar]

Alright, guys, it’s been more than six months but it is time for a Radskier meta essay on why their storyline isn’t as badly written as many people say. (Includes spoilers)

Is it rushed? Yes. It’s a side-story of a side character and actually Jaskier’s first side-story on the show. Is it cliché? Yes. When I first watched the season I was terrified about where their story would be going, knowing what happened in the book and knowing how mainstream media treats queer storylines. (I did not know about Joey’s deep involvement in the writing until later.) But once I knew how it all ended, I was entirely sold. Of course, that’s a question of taste, Radovid just turned out to incorporate so many tropes I am obsessed with, but I am trying to say that compared to the overall writing of the show, their story is not particularly badly written, which blew me away considering it’s a queer storyline in a mainstream medieval fantasy show.

Yes, they gave Jaskier a queer story for the sake of having a queer story. That was another reason I was very anxious about it. But what they (read: Joey, and let’s be honest, Hugh too) made of it is so exciting to me.

Here’s the thing about them ageing up Radovid and making him Vizimir’s brother. I have seen people complaining that they could’ve introduced an OC instead of changing source material like that. But to me, the fact they chose Radovid makes it so much more than a queer storyline for the sake of having a queer storyline. He’s the prince and later the king of Redania. He is entangled in the greater scheme of things. He is /on/ the same chessboard as the main characters. Turning him into Vizimir’s brother rather than son is way less forced than introducing an OC to be Jaskier’s love interest. Because he is more than Jaskier’s love interest. He is the King of Redania, played by Dijkstra and Philippa. Also, he cannot be killed off.

As I already said because it’s obvious, their story is rushed. That’s just the fate of side stories in TV shows (that are not masterfully written, lbr). But to me at least it is amazing how much they managed to convey in these few scenes.

You have Jaskier’s role as a spy for the Redanian Intelligence. That begins his own side story where he has a role of his own, that has nothing to do with Geralt. He meets this guy who actually appreciates his music and openly flirts with him, showing that he is desirable, something new to the character of the comic relief (although he is the romancer but you know, we never saw it on screen, also this time he is being romanced). He is suspicious, because he knows the Intelligence is not to be trusted, and the Prince of Redania is kind of the enemy. But he is also Jaskier, and his interest is caught. Besides this interest, Radovid’s suggestion to bring Ciri to supposed safety is right up Jaskier’s alley, because he is one to rather avoid battles if possible. He ponders on whether it is a possibility.

Later, he uses this vague connection to Radovid to have some agency of his own. He negotiates with him about Rience without discussing it with Geralt. He’s following his own plan, checking out the possibilities. He’s like alright, this guy at least pretends to be into me, let’s see if I can put that to good use to help Geralt. He sweeps Radovid off his feet with his ballad, and then Radovid says things that blow Jaskier away. He speaks of his talents, of determination to get to know more about him, of how Geralt should be grateful for his loyalty and friendship. Jaskier, the comic relief, has never heard this before. He’s Weak and he’s Wanting™️. But he still knows that he is Jaskier, easily fooled by romance, and that there are great things at stake. At the same time, Geralt is also treating him with more respect to make the decisions harder on him. But Radovid stays on his mind, he doesn’t know what to make of it and discusses it with Vespula, and she knows. She sees what’s going on.

Then, Radovid shows up while he is looking after Ciri. He is still suspicious. But Radovid is different from the last time he saw him. He is scared and he is vulnerable, and Jaskier can see that the mask is gone, and that what lies beneath it is not a villain. He is still cautious, until Radovid sings him his own song and he cannot take it any longer. He is giving in, and he struggles still as he does, but he is Jaskier. He’s Weak and he’s Wanting™️.

The next morning, he is not surprised. Of course, stupid Jaskier got himself fooled by some pretty eyes once again. Of course such blatant desire and affection for him could have only been a lie. He never knew romance like this and he does not hesitate to believe it was simply not real.

But then, he finds Radovid surrounded by his dead guards, alone. The people he was supposedly scheming with left him behind, so he was not all that involved, maybe he really was their puppet. He’s scared and he’s full of regret, he’s a helpless prince in the middle of the outbreak of a war, but he’s telling Jaskier to not waste more time on him because he knows he fucked up beyond redemption. But he’s Jaskier. He has endless capacity for forgiveness. And now that their plans had failed and Radovid has no more reason to lure him in, he’s still begging for a second chance. He still wants to be with him. He wants to prove himself to him, even if that means leaving the court behind. Jaskier has other priorities right now and he’s still hurt, but if there is a chance that this affection he never knew before was real, he is taking it.

And Radovid? He’s the spoiled prince brat, underestimated by everyone (just like Jaskier), and he’s riding that wave, because he does not really care about state affairs. He likes Jaskier’s music, and when he sees him he thinks he’s hella fine. He has his fun and at the same time tries to show Philippa he’s capable of more than she thinks, but he was not expecting that Jaskier would blow him away like that. That he would challenge him (the Prince), that he would be honest with him, that he would see through his act and by doing that NOT underestimate him. Radovid is Vibing and he decides to enter Dijkstra’s and Philippa’s game until he realizes he Fucked Up with his arrogance and being a prince is actually worth shit. He knew everything going on in the castle is pretense, but he was not prepared for this level of violence. He is terrified when he meets Jaskier, and Jaskier is good to him. And, again, honest. Unlike anything he had known up to now, the courtly schemes that had only recently culminated to him being scared for his life. He is still a spoiled brat prince and wants to be with Jaskier very badly, so he Fucks Up again. It is that last mistake that makes him understand his faults. But when he sees that Jaskier still does not hate him, he is determined to fix it, and he will do anything. Fuck being a prince, I will leave everything I know behind to show this man that my feelings were true.

Jaskier changes this man’s entire life and Radovid is willing to do everything for him. Yes, the idea to just go off and find him WHEREVER was kind of idiotic, but that’s the beauty of these two. They are both smart and idiotic at the same time, and they let their actions be led mainly by emotions, which sometimes adds up to the idiocy of it all. But Jaskier has more experience, and Radovid learns from him how to be less selfish, he grows as a person through knowing him.

So yes, the love-betrayal-redemption story is hollywood cliché, but it fits the characters and leads to interesting character growth. And honestly, as a queer woman I enjoy seeing some queers having a cliché storyline in a mainstream media piece. Geralt and Yennefer had a similar story. It raises the queer love story to the level of the hetero story. They struggle and they suffer just as much as anyone else, and they have something that connects them, a story that has potential to be continued in an interesting way. They don’t just exist as the obligatory queers, and their storyline isn’t inherently queer either, to a point where it feels like they’re only queer so Jaskier’s love interest can be the gods forsaken King. (At the same time, the story has queer coded themes, like having to pretend to be someone else, but the way it is portrayed, it can be relatable to non-queers as well.) The cliché of it all does not feel more cliché than other storylines on the show (to me). Its not queered cliché, it’s just a story, and I love that.

Also, Joey and Hugh have actual chemistry. And - and no one really argues with that - immense talent that filled these few scenes with so many layers in the first place. We owe it to Hugh that Radovid is not just a romantic interest, but a layered, flawed character (although Hugh attributes it to the writing but he’s too modest).

The last thing I want to say is that I feel we are generally overly critical of queer storylines, which is not a bad thing per se, because we know how many harmful storylines there are, but I struggle to see how this one is harmful in any way. You have to relate them to the straight romances. The straights will just randomly smile at each other and then they will date, but no one complains about it being rushed.

I am obviously not saying everyone has to ship them, I genuinely do not care. I just think it’s unfair to drag their storyline when it is nothing but normal that they didn’t have enough time for an elaborate story, but they (meaning Joey and Hugh) put a lot of work into making it a good one regardless, an effort no one would have put into a straight love story, because they would not have had to.

[mtkay13]

So I made those as requested by abscess chemical on twitter and figured it may be fun to share them on tumblr as well. And you know what? Share a break down of my choices as well, because why not! I tried doing it seriously haha.

Zhou Zishu:

Intense - 6/10: He can be very intense, re the things or people he's invested in, but he also has a chill and detached quality to him, a way of being at peace with things that he won't blow things out of proportions.

Complex - 9/10: I think that he's a very nuanced, multi-faceted and deep character, but I guess I didn't go 10/10 just because there's also a very straightforward and easy to get part of him (esp. from WKX's perspective.

Fruity - 2/10: I think the guy's very gay but not the most bombastic about it LBR.

---

Angst-lord: although it's not as obvious in TYK, QY gives us some EXTREMELY tasty ZZS angst and a good look into how ZZS can process things through anxiety. It definitely got more lowkey post-QY canon, but...

Flavor container: IDK what that means really but I wanted to tick it

Soft and sweet: I actually didn't check it on the twitter version initially (but published an erratum). He is described as soft on the inside by too many people not to check it.

Braincell haver: self-explanatory, the guy's brilliant

Chew toy: literally!

----

Tragic backstory: if QY can count as a backstory, then everything that happened with Jiuxiao works.

Frequently violent: duh

Sidekick owner: WKX is ZZS's sidekick from everyone else's perspective (or vice-versa) and my opinion abt it won't change ever.

Pet stray animals: ZCL, for one, and for two we all know he pets cats and raccoons

Chronic insomniac: technically, in TYK, the nails do force the insomnia, but we know from QY that he had a lot of trouble sleeping at night.

Murderer: well

----

Just some guy 95%: clearly he's a natural-born NPC/side character

Too many thoughts 100%: he overthinks everything!!

Awful company 15%: I think that a goofy drunkard like him is fun but not the best company, especially when he goes all grumpy shifu/shixiong

Beloved by all 60%: most characters REALLY like him (and the others don't even know he exists) and often praise how sweet he is. Charming against his will and attempts at being invisible uwu

Trauma x1000 10%: again, I think that the Jiuxiao story left deep scars.

Helps others for fun 70%: pretty much the plot of TYK

Scary-smart 80%: I think he's really brilliant but then you have these moments where he's just clueless abt stupid stuff and clearly doesn't care/doesn't want to know or try so those 20% left are the deliberate goof I guess.

1000 weapons and tools 50/50: it's both!! every rock is both a tool and a weapon and he just keeps pulling random shit from his bosom--

At peace with life 48%: I think, for the most part, he is--at peace with both life and death, until he decides that keeping on living is just the best option in the end.

Break the rules 80%: I had no idea w this one but... in TYK he pretty much does whatever he wants, so---

Extra comments: The way the "evokes" ticks every boxes for me to various degrees of intensity... sigh It was difficult for the "want them to have" section since I think he has everything post-canon, but I tried seeing it from a mid!canon perspective.

----------------------------

Wen Kexing

Intense - 9/10: While WKX's feelings are generally cold, they seem equally intense to me, just like his eyes or his stare. He's intense about his love, about his revenge, about his plans.

Complex - 6/10: I've had interesting convos about how WKX is... nuanced, of course, but not as complex or deep as it may seem on the surface. That doesn't take anything from how interesting he is, but he is rather straightforward in what he is, ultimately.

Fruity - 8/10: I MEAN--

----

Enemy of the State: he's literally THE main Jianghu villain

Flavor Container: I still don't know what it means but it felt right once again

Braincell haver: the guy is EXTREMELY smart and outsmarted everyone in TYK so yeah

----

Tragic backstory: can hardly do worse than parents murdered in front of you, ate your dad to survive, took care of a child in the wildest, most dangerous part of jianghu, fought to reach the top while "serving" the previous master........ He scored it all!

Orphan: again, fully checks out

Frequently violent: yes

Has enemies: in SPADES

Sidekick owner: GX and ZZS are WKX's sidekicks 100%

Murderer: yes

----

The antagonist of life 70%: had to change from protag to antag because he IS the TYK antagonist (if TYK had been a traditional wuxia from ZCL's perspective...); of course it ends up being subverted but you know

Too many thoughts 75%: I think he's a big thinker as well

Awful company 85%: Let's be real guys

Hated by all 30%: I think he's too underestimated or not even really acknowledged enough to be hated, but I am pretty sure that more people dislike him than the opposite

Trauma x1000 60%: well.......... I think he has a bunch!

Sadistic for fun 15% : I doubt he's one to like helping and we know him to have those sadistic tendencies

Scary-smart 80%: same reasoning as for ZZS

1000 weapons or tools: mostly bare handed for everything save for the occasional whip or walnut shell but---

Enemy of god 35%: I have to be honest I don't really know what that means but I guess he's defied death a few times!!!

Break the rules 95%: WKX shits on the rules

----

Additional notes:

Mostly ticks everything in the "evokes" categories as well, but I unticked "symptoms of projection" because I don't feel like I project much of anything on WKX... maybe? (save for the ZZS lewding.. LOL) always hard to say, IG we always do a bit of that on every character, eh

and The Horny ofc because i'm kinda known for not really lewding my good WKX atp

I want a lot of things for him during canon, but again, all I can think of is how post-canon WKX really got it and then I gush and am simply happy for him.

That's it thank you for reading this mostly unnecessary breakdown!!!! Edit, following a comment asking for the sheet:

[danieyells]

I also thought of the janitor too and have the theory of the scene of him eating apples and how he refers to the mc and apples as sweet + the parallelism of apples with the Adam and eve and everyone knows how it goes form there.

Second theory is more crack than anything but it's darkwick as an institution, like c'mon y'all's logo is a Big D inside a shield with what almost looks like horns, at one point it's almost too on the nose

@yuri-is-online

you are both making it sound like the janitor has appeared or been mentioned more than once and i'm losing my mind DID I MISS OR FORGET SOMETHING IS THIS MY TAIGA BRAIN AGAIN I DON'T REMEMBER HARU MENTIONING THE JANITOR OR HIM EATING APPLES. . . .

but yeah i don't trust darkwick so much anymore(or at least not cornelius and the japan branch of the institute and jin's father--not that i trusted jin's father at all) but LMAO THE LOGO IS A D WITH HORNS. I mean I'm pretty sure they're cat ears and the diamond inside the D is a cat eye but THEY LOOK LIKE HORNS LBR.

tbf though. these are Obscuary and Sinostra's and they look pretty sinister too.

Like DW is definitely bad guys, if only because they've got shitty judgement and they're restrictive towards the ghouls and treat them with such suspicion that the ghouls feel trapped at darkwick and like they won't even be able to escape the institute when they graduate and it's going to be a 'you're committing human rights violations' thing BUT. i think that's going to be a more minor and yet overarching issue compared to the spy plot and the prophecy plot and all.

then again. Cornelius insists that ghouls are naturally more aggressive than humans(this is rarely true) so it's entirely possible the spy intends to make the ghouls fight to like. test them and their strength and such. some sort of experiment to learn more about how the ghouls work/think/socialize/etc. It'd be easier for them to observe the ghouls on campus than off, so if they become troublesome and miserable, that's prime study opportunity!!! Which again ties back into 'the spy probably works for darkwick/the institute'. . . .

[fieldsofbats]

simon riley x waitstaff!reader

thank you to those who liked my first post <3 i am still v new to this and haven't quite figured out my preferred writing style so all feedback is welcome (be respectful tho).

part one

part two

right so at ur work it’s real common to have military folk there bc it is a military town, close to base, training facilities etc. 

first visit was just to the bar section of the place. price thought it would be good for moral to go out and have some chill team time, watch a football match and just hang out.

soap ordered some food and you brought it over to them. simon did not notice you bc he was watching the game, but then he got a whiff of soaps food and decided to grab something.

cue you coming back over with your sweet smile and handing him his food and cutlery before wandering back to the resturant bc its a quiet night.

mans is hooked.

second time ghost comes in it’s at night again but the restaurant is slammed bc it’s family week, everyone is getting dinner the night before they gotta head home. 

lbr, simon didnt think about you until soap wanted to go out again: "where are we goin'" "that place with the pretty server", knows exactly where they are going.

but still, your smile and warmth towards everyone is so kind and customer service is through the roof. yet he watches as you race around in and out of the kitchen with crazy ease and grace

like dude is impressed at you staying calm and steady despite how fuckin busy it is and people with their insane requests and demands for food (inpatient pricks)

he wants to stick around and watch u but it has become way to loud and busy for him so he bows out and goes back to his quiet room

simon strikes me as someone that likes to have as much regularity in his life as possible, why do you think 141 are literally the only people he has relationships with???

but mainly forms this routine bc he gets to see you, and he knows you will be there bc you’ve old him its your regular shift.

"you basically live here."

"haha no, i just make sure i get the shift with you."

the restaurant would make the booking for him in advance cause he never does but you know he is coming anyway so have it under ‘y/n's man’ (hasn’t told you his name) and ur coworkers think its super cute and funny

but he would make the effort to come in when it is quiet and has the chance to actually listen to you talk and see you interact with others on a more relaxed level BUT he wouldn’t be opposed to seeing you rushing around tables and weaving between guests who haven’t sat down

ngl he would find it hot watching you manage several orders and memorising different peoples requirements, all while keeping that sweet smile and polite manner

you can carry three plates?! this man is sweating under the mask

he doesn’t do a lot of the talking, only when you really prompt him or he is feeling a bit more extroverted that day. Doesn’t wanna talk about military shit with you but that’s all he does so he prefers to listen to you.

knows all the drama and gossip of the restaurant. glad to hear you are not dating the guy behind the bar and that you also don't like the receptionist because he perfume is to strong.

he will hang around and wait for it to die down to be able to talk to you. if it gets too loud for him he might just try and see you at the till as he leaves but has pushed through once or twice to talk to you.

something about you makes him feel more real, that he isn’t just some shell of a man, that he has a purpose. he likes that you treat him normally, the fresh slate you give him is like clean evening air.

ANYWAY it would take him ages to ask you out, like more than six/ seven months, and he would be so nervous (not to the point of stuttering or shaking bc this man is military he has been in worse situations, but his heart would be running a marathon and the self doubt would be just as loud)

but also protective ghost omgggg, he would be seething watching the old men be creepy and shit

knife and fork are down and he is up behind these men leering over them “excuse me, I just have a question about my meal.” just would say anything to get you out of that situation and back over to him. Or would just stand by the register staring down these men (this happens a lot more often than simon would like to admit)

always checks in when he is leaving to make sure he didn’t over step or make you uncomfortable by accident