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novantinuum · 2 months

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wip ask meme: "taste of ordinary" chapter 3, "white noise," and also you know i've gotta ask about the ford in hyrule fic LMAO 💜

Thank you friends! Piling all these asks in here since many of you are curious about White Noise, ahah. Which is lucky, because that's one I am actively working to finish right now and finally got a proper title!

Aight lemme dust off my wips...

Taste of Ordinary Chapter 3:

Okay, so this one is like. Gosh. Portions of it are SUPER old, and that's why it's been taking me forever to finish it, but this story is overtly the first bit of SU fic I ever started to write, predating even Crack the Paragon. But the gist here for the final chapter is that- while Steven goes to spend the weekend with Connie in the hope of enjoying some Gem incident free time away from home- he's sorta hit with the realization that he'll never really be able to completely separate himself from this reality of his life. From the reality of all the consequences that his mother's war left for him.

I have a fun Steven and Connie solo (no CGs to help!) fight sequence planned for this chapter, because... well...

“Aww come on,” he whines, “another corrupted Gem now? Haven’t we bubbled like, a thousand billion of you already?” She shoots to her feet, already taking the offensive. “Um? Shouldn’t we—?” His lips press into a flat line. Deep inside, the months and months of repressed annoyance and stress and frustration coursing through his veins boil over. He extends his free arm and summons a large bubble to envelop the pair of them. Thoroughly satisfied, he situates himself on the log again and stubbornly crosses his legs. “Y’know, after all the days you corrupted Gems have interrupted my quality time, I’ve decided you can hold your horses!” he says with resolve, pausing to lick at his treat. “I’m finishing my ice cream first.” At his side, Connie pales. “What? Steven?!” The corruption howls, slamming her claws against the pink translucent barrier. “Oh, double-fudge rocky road,” he whispers, gently caressing the side of his waffle cone as he purposely tries to ignore the unholy racket outside his bubble. “You’re my only light in a world full of darkness…”

White Noise:

So, I don't want to give away TOO much of the actual body of this one, because it's not going to be a particularly long fic, but this is a sort of coda to the SUF episode In Dreams. I've had much of the dialogue sketched out since the night that episode aired, but just haven't gotten around to fleshing it out until now.

I think it also acts as a bit of a companion to my fic titled Second Skin, the one that explores Steven's growing understanding of his "pink mode" across the epilogue. There was once a time where I considered outright putting it in that fic, but I ended up scraping that idea because I wanted to maintain the (mostly) steady downward spiral of Steven's own mental state in that one, and this particular story ends on a rather sweet note. It just felt like it wouldn't fit, and deserved to be expanded into its own thing.

I will share a few snippits of dialogue. Some of it is already fleshed out, some of it is still just notes.

"So, have you always glowed pink in your sleep like that?"

“I don’t need to be fixed!” he insists, almost feeling sick to his stomach as that damned glowing pallor rises under his cheeks again anyways, a rote betrayal of all his futile claims. “Didn’t we just decide that’s the whole point of us hanging out now? That we don’t have to fix anything anymore?”

(Surprise hug.) “Steven? It’s okay if you’re not okay.” (She says it in such an understanding manner.) “Sometimes… I’m not okay either."

Ford In Hyrule:

I'd still like to do something with this at some point, because I feel like Ford getting hurled into Hyrule would be PRIME material.

But basically, this is an excuse to have a completely external to all the chaos character commentate on the wild Bullshit Hyrule is dealing with and be a nerd. I think Ford would totally geek out over guardians and ancient tech and do THE most dangerous shit to get his hands on ancient cores for his weapon design. With this crossover in mind, I have the silly thought that a giant ancient core actually ends up as the power source for his quantum destabilizer.

Here, have a bit of one of his journal entries:

Journal entry #8539 Day 2 At first glance, this world is a vessel of stark contrasts. A barren land, strewn with ruins of a civilization long past… and yet irrevocably alive. The wide bounty of wildlife, so similar to the creatures of my own dimension in form, are no doubt the true rulers of this place. Thick young-growth forests blanket these rolling hills all the way to the horizon, practically bursting at the seams with deer, wild boar, foxes, squirrels, and wolves. A diverse variety of avian species populate the vast skies. If I’m honest, such unfettered freedom amidst the local fauna is not a sight I often see in a lot of the more technologically advanced dimensions I frequent, and that saddens me. There’s just something so ephemeral and intimate about observing the daily routines of critters in their natural habitats. (And it’s a large reason why I began my cryptozoologic research in the first place.) Of course, as I mentioned briefly in my last entry, the crumbling remains of former houses, barracks, and marketplaces (among countless other facilities I cannot even begin to guess the purpose of) exist as gaping scars amidst this otherwise pristine wilderness. While the broad grasslands I currently traverse certainly seem peaceful on the surface, all the lingering rubble and rust paints a dire picture of this realm’s history. Dented, tarnished swords lay long-abandoned in the dirt. Scattered humanoid remains pepper the edges of settlements like garish confetti. Certain structures are now housed by small troops of tribal, flat-nosed creatures the likes of which I have never seen, a species which must be unique to this dimension. Since these were the first tool-wielding creatures I had encountered in this world, I briefly considered making contact to learn more about their customs and capacity for communication, but after observing their nature from afar for quite some time, I determined it unwise to approach. While seeming endlessly loyal to each other, this species quickly proved to be intensely territorial upon the approach of those who were not a part of their tribe. I watched them all take arms against a lizard-like creature who made the mistake of hunting too close. Suffice it to say, that lizard was not long for the world. I shan’t be making the same mistake.

#nova rambles #ask meme

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lurkingshan · 1 year

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Make it Right

It finally happened. After years of hearing about this show - the original Thai bl pulp - but never quite figuring out how to find it, I finally sat my ass down and watched Make it Right, the last remaining gap in my foundational bl viewing. And to my great surprise, I FUCKING LOVED IT.

All credit to @bengiyo, the number one MIR apologist, for convincing me it was worth making time for, with shoutouts to @waitmyturtles for watching first and holding my hand through the playlists, and @absolutebl for including screenshots of it in their posts for years and subtly incepting me into feeling like I know it already (I sat up and pointed at the screen like that Leo meme when I finally got to the scene of Tee and Fuse standing on the bus).

So, the show. This show! This is a true look at the world of teenage boys with no sugar coating, which is probably why it makes so many people uncomfortable. They’re rude and crude, they make a lot of mistakes and very questionable decisions, they hurt each other physically and emotionally, they are imperfect and frustrating and ~problematic~ at every step. Turtles has already posted a wonderful long explanation about the importance of viewing and processing this show with the appropriate context, so I won’t repeat it here. I’ll just say I completely agree and went into my watch with this lens.

So, what was so compelling to me about this show? It’s the characters, four of them in particular: Fuse, Tee, Frame, and Book (special shout-out to Yok who was also cool but a bit disconnected from the rest). These boys! They’re so sweet, so confused, so chaotic. They feel real. Watching them fumble around each other, trying to figure out their own feelings and how to communicate with and treat each other, was fascinating. They’re all so young and still immature, but at their core they do care and try to be decent.

Tee and Fuse tugged at my Phun and Noh Love Sick heartstrings. It was a very similar dynamic of bisexual awakening, stumbling into a first queer relationship with a friend, and trying to sort out what it means in terms of identity and how they want to move through the world. Fuse even has a cheating girlfriend he can’t seem to quit, just like Phun. The key difference here is that Tee is more devoted to the relationship out of the gate. He’s possessive and he wants Fuse to be his alone, and a lot of their story is about being trapped in the cycle of coming together and growing closer only to hit a roadblock whenever Fuse waffles on firmly committing to a path (and a faen). Fuse is completely in his feelings for Tee too and mostly disinterested in his girlfriend, but he seems stuck by his own lack of conviction and courage to change anything. We leave them still enmeshed in this dynamic, but clearly in love and wanting to be together, at the end of season 1.

Commitment is not Frame and Book’s issue, but rather a bad start and failure to communicate effectively (until they finally do). Let me pause right here and say it straight out: I LOVE FRAME. He is my favorite character in this show, and that’s not overlooking anything he did. It probably doesn’t hurt that he’s played by (teeny tiny baby) Ohm, who was so talented even then. But I really love who he is at his core, which is a kind and generous kid who just seems to like everyone, Book especially. He’s promiscuous and a little reckless and he definitely needs some proper sex (and consent) education, but he cares about people, and once Book manages to convey what he wants from him - exclusivity, commitment - he gives it without hesitating. Book is equally enamored of him but wary after his last faen broke his heart, and he struggles to trust that Frame is serious about him. We leave them in a happy place after deciding to officially date. They’re adorable and I make no apologies for loving them.

There are other pairings in this show, but I’m not going to talk about them because I did not find them particularly compelling. This was the TeeFuse and FrameBook show for me. And I’m not done yet, because there’s a whole second season focused on these couples, which I’ll be diving into next.

#make it right #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

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fictionkinfessions · 4 months

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LGBT Canons: *cracks knuckles* It is time for me to waffle again. I was always very gay (I had two other lives than the one I write about but they are too far in the past for me and too vague) and very outspoken about it.

However, I always struggled with dating, because I lived (live?) in turbulent times. In my past life - homosexuality was decriminalised when I was 10ish (I died at 34) and it was still treated as an illness with people sent to conversion institutions. I was incredibly lucky due to having grown up extremely privileged so while my father loved to dangle the threat of sending me away - he never did because he feared for his reputation and never found a way to do it in secret. I came out at 14, with my best friend (a woman) doing the same to her family on the very same day - our parents had us engaged before we were born and we were sick and tired of that. They didn't really believe us, so we asserted gayness wherever we went. My father got himself killed when I was 18 but before that - me and my friend discovered clubbing in illegal clubs. We went mainly to drag nights and we both dressed up, so my sole regret is my father never having seen that or having me stomp on his head in heels :')

*coughs*

That aside - I had only two boyfriends and my first one was a typical teenage love where we both were idiots and sucked at relationships but broke up due to random drama and convictions. My father walked in on us snogging and informed his parents and they shipped him off to university early. However, we have already broken up or rather he broke up with me - he wanted to marry a woman and have male lovers on the side and no - his potential wife was never meant to know. As far as I know, he ended up with a lovely boyfriend and I hope he kept him and had a great life.

My partner from 26 to two weeks before my untimely demise was a convoluted story. We dated because we thought we had the same goal of starting a family and just living a quiet life but he discovered later on that it was not the case. Still, we lived together and we argued every day. I have a low level of desire and he had his set very high so in the end - we opened our relationship on his end (I am very monogamous) and it had us better for a while but then he developed his fondness of rough sex that I disliked and a general dislike of me too. He dumped me in the end due to all of this and we were together for 8 years and lived together for 6. I miss him recently - we were horrid for one another but we knew our flaws and we were always honest with each other. Plus, he stuck around and kept choosing me.

I also pined after one man and I thought he might have liked me but I realised that I just wanted it to be the case so I did a whole lot of projecting :')

Generally, I wish for the same things as I wish in contemporary times - when times are rough, folks don't put much attention to romance and focus on fleeting sexual moments (I am generalising) so finding any men who were into romance was almost impossible in my past. It is more possible now but I gave up after a tragic relationship and I still pine after that one guy. I was less of a drag queen though - just did it briefly when I was in uni.

Sidenote: I also refuse to adopt any position/power dynamic-related labels because I am sexually punk ;) ... and they make me panic.

Thank you for coming to my laying down comedy show. Because I am laying down writing this :| (and I have a lot of gay feelings)

(#⚜️🔥🚬)

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #⚜️🔥🚬#death cw #child death cw #homophobia cw #conversion abuse cw #torture cw #murder cw #shipping issue #mod party cat #gamrep #lgbt canons

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haltandcatchfiretothemax · 8 months

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FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2024 #9: In which Cameron affirms her partnership with Donna

[CN: food/eating breakfast] . . Cameron, who struggled every day to drag herself out of bed at the crack of 9am, got up at 6:30 the morning after she escorted Donna to Planned Parenthood. Unable and also not really willing to go back to sleep, she showered, dressed, and snuck out without waking Tom.

She got into the Jeep and drove off in a hurry, only to drive in slow circles for a while, unsure of where she should go at 7 am. She eventually went to a nearby park that had a small manmade lake surrounded by benches. She sat by the water, put on her headphones, and scribbled and doodled in her journal while she listened to the new Hüsker Dü album. And then, finally, at 8:30 she got back into her car, and drove to the nearest Waffle House, where she ordered enough food for at least four people, and then she drove to Donna’s.

Donna answered the door in her pajamas and robe. “Wow,” she said by way of greeting, eyeing the large bag of styrofoam food containers Cameron was cradling.

“Hi,” Cameron said, nervously. “I thought you might want some breakfast?” With that, Donna stepped aside so Cameron could come in.

Wordlessly, Cameron followed Donna into the kitchen. When she started to get plates and glasses from the counters, Cameron fussed at her, “No, let me do that, relax.” She put the food on the table, and got flatware for them both. When Donna finally sat down at the table, Cameron asked, “How are you? Are you okay?”

Evenly, Donna replied, “I’m fine. But thank you for asking.”

When Cameron opened one the container with not one but two servings of biscuits and gravy for her, Donna looked like she might cry, but she scraped half of it onto her plate and started to eat instead. Relieved, Cameron served herself a large helping of scrambled eggs, bacon, and home fries. Donna had some of the eggs and bacon, too, and ate as if she were ravenous. “This will probably made me sick,” she said between bites. “I don’t care though.”

After they ate, Donna insisted on putting on some coffee again, and then went upstairs. She came back downstairs in a sweater, sweatpants, and sneakers, her hair pulled back into a neat ponytail. As she poured mugs of coffee for them, she asked, “Is it nice enough for us to have our coffee outside? It looks sunny.” Cameron confirmed that it was nice, and they took their mugs out to the picnic table behind the house.

“I should have stayed here last night,” Cameron said as Donna sipped her coffee.

Donna had been surprised when Cameron offered to stay at her house that night. The idea of her staying the night at her house, while her husband and children were conveniently off on vacation, had made Donna uncomfortable for reasons that she hadn’t fully been able to articulate to herself, much less process.

“That you asked if I needed you to was more than enough, and I appreciate it,” Donna said. “I was fine, though. Gordon and the girls called, and after I talked to them I got plenty of rest.”

Feeling like she already knew the answer to her question, Cameron asked, “Are you gonna tell him?”

Donna sighed. Staring off into the distance, toward the house behind hers, she said, “No. It would just upset us both. He wouldn’t understand my decision, or that it’s not for him to understand.”

Cameron winced. “Hell of a secret to keep.” Then, anxiously, she added, “I’m not judging you. I feel like I’d probably do the same, and like most people would judge us for it. Like, ‘Oh, but that’s his child,’ or whatever.”

Darkly, Donna said, “Right. Well, he’s not the one who’d be doing all the work. Or all the worrying. I don’t think he understands that, either.”

“Really?” Cameron said. “He wouldn’t understand that you’d be doing most of the work of actually having the baby?” She let out a low whistle. “So much for Gordo the Boygenius.”

Donna let out a cackle, and nearly spilled some of her coffee.

Feeling mildly guilty, Cameron shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and said, “I got up early this morning, so I could leave before Tom got up. He asked me where we went last night, and got pissed when I wouldn’t tell him.”

Donna looked down into her mug, Curtly, she said, “So sorry to cause trouble in your relationship.”

Cameron frowned. “That’s not - that isn’t how I meant that, I’m sorry. I just meant, I don’t think he’d get it, either. Or that it’s not my place to tell him about something like this. Also,” her voice sharpened considerably, “it’s just, not his business?”

Donna looked up to see Cameron’s genuinely, outrageously beautiful face scrunched with supreme annoyance, and was so endeared by it that she chuckled affectionately at her.

“Why are men like that? I’ve met literally one man who can handle it with some grace when something doesn’t involve him,” Cameron groused, “and that would be Bos.”

Donna sighed again. “I was going to say that I don’t know, but I think I do know why the majority of men are like that, but, I don’t have the energy to get into it today. Literally, don’t get me started.” She stirred what was left of her coffee dejectedly.

Cameron watched Donna swirl her spoon around in her mug. Hesitantly, she admitted, “The thing is, you’re my partner. And Tom isn’t. I guess that bothers him, but, his feelings about it are irrelevant.”

Donna, of course, had noticed this, and also Tom’s irritating tendency to self-deputize at work, telling the other staff members what to do without being prompted. Rather than argue with him, or with Cameron, she’d made a habit of quietly give their coworkers different instructions.

Abruptly, Cameron said, “I’m sorry that I hired Tom without asking you first. Like, really sorry. That wasn’t cool.”

Donna glanced up at her. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

“And I’m sorry for every dickish thing I’ve said about Gordon. They might be true, but, I still shouldn’t have said them.”

Cameron’s candid apology made Donna think of Joanie, and how she acted when Donna would make her apologize for saying something inappropriate. She laughed again.”

Cameron sat up straight, only to slouch back down again, elbows on the table, and rested her chin in her hands. “It’s just, you’re really great Donna. And you really deserve for the people around you to get how great you are.”

Donna smiled sadly, but warmly at Cameron. “I do have people like that around me.”

Cameron was unconvinced, but didn’t say so. Instead, she asked, “So when do Gordon and the girls get back? You said they’re coming home tomorrow, right?”

“Yep,” Donna nodded.

“Do you mind if I hang out here for a while? If you’re in the mood for company?” Cameron asked.

Donna grinned. at her. “I would love some company for a little while.”

#femslash february #femslash feb 2024 #fan fic #donna clark #donna emerson #cameron howe

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recurring-polynya · 2 years

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Writing/Art Update 1/24/2023

Well, I had my break. Mostly, what I did was download a new phone game where you run a restaurant, and wasted an enormous amount of time on that. No regrets.

I said last week was my break, but it's not really a break because I'm trying hard to only do stuff when I feel like it. I did start a new art piece which is going...slowly. It's going slowly because I'm taking my time, though, and I spent a million years on hands.

I would like to write, and I have two different things I am enthusiastic about working on, but unfortunately, if I sit down and try to write, my head just goes completely empty. This happens sometimes. Hopefully it will pass. It usually does. I've been trying to take care of other chores in the meantime, so that if my inspiration eventually returns, I'll be able to take advantage of it.

I've been trying to re-read some of the older parts of Heart is a Muscle, in preparation for writing a new part. I used to really like re-reading my writing, but I haven't been feeling it, to be honest. In art, there's a thing where your eye improves at a different rate than your hand, so sometimes, all of sudden, everything you draw looks like shit, but it's because you've leveled up in the ability to perceive art, not because you've gotten worse. I don't really ever think about myself as getting better at writing. I am a lazy writer and I do what I want, and I do not strive to improve my craft. I think I maybe have improved (or maybe just changed?) over the last three years, though, which is why my old writing feels so crusty. It's also possible that I'm just sick of my own voice. Kinda surprising it took that long to happen, tbh.

In other news, my aluminum plant cuttings have been growing roots! I'm so proud of them! I might repot them soon, and try to take some cuttings from my fittonia, and possibly my daughter's peperomia (because I want one). She's going on this houseplant journey with me, plus her room has some of the best light in the house. She took one of the pups her paddle plant made to school and gave it to her teacher. 😭😭😭 You have to understand that this is possibly the first time either of my children has had any interest in the things I care about. It's nice.

I made a sourdough bread today that was significantly better than last week's sourdough. I did make the mistake of proofing it in the oven, because the house was cold. I guess it was still a little too hot (I had heated it up to as low as it could go, and then turned it off again), or I should have spritzed my loaf with oil instead of water, or maybe just re-spritzed it every ten minutes or so, but the dough dried out a little and formed a skin, which meant that it couldn't rise and caramelize properly when I baked it. It was pretty ugly, but it tasted good and was very soft and squishy on the inside. The children, apparently, really like the dense, gluey rock I baked last week; they said both loaves were equally good. Whatever, my tasteless children.

I have been trying to keep my sourdough starter fed more regularly, so I've been looking for more things to do with discard (I already do pizza, pretzels, waffles, English muffins, and bagels). This week was sourdough morning glory muffins, which were very good, as morning glory muffins go (Mr. P loves morning glory muffins). It looks like that blog has lots of good discard recipes, so I may try out some more of them.

I guess that about covers it for this week. Will I do anything next week? We'll see!

#writing update #art update #burnout recovery update

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tomfoolies · 2 years

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so, uh. here’s something i’ve been working on a hot minute; the timeline of myself in parks and rec, and how i fit into the story! and it’s only part one.... strap yourselves in folks. it’s a ride! but i’ve loved writing this while watching the show!

> i start my new job at the city hall right after the government shutdown. the camera crew decided that they’d start to film me as well, as they want to see what i can bring into the show and how i fit into the work community after mark’s departure. i catch chris for the first time while they film me and im like ”huh? who’s that? interesting…”. leslie finds me almost immediately afterwards, because of course she’s curious to see who took mark’s job. and fortunately for both of us, we hit it off really well so she invites me to visit the parks and rec department as often as possible. aka starting from tomorrow because she will make me cookies as a welcome present and she will show me around the city hall as well as take me to eat the best waffles and–

> i also point out to the crew that i really want to mingle with people because at my previous job nobody really wanted to be friends because it was a private firm, there was a lot of competition between everyone and it was… just not a good workplace. plus i don’t have that many friends anyways because all my old friends live in finland. so i’m more than happy that leslie came along and i already like her.

> i guide the twilight fanatic to the correct department so i kind of make it my fault. and start hanging out there, at first to see the mess unfold, and because i also love twilight. also me n chris meet by the pretzel stand at the end of the episode because duh. i love a good pretzel. and when he leaves… i might be a liddol bit sad.

> me and ben bond over not understanding the lil sebastian hype. and throughout the harvest festival i’m seen eaten cotton candy. like. in all the scenes. even before the festival has started. i fucking love cotton candy.

> then chris comes back and im like Oh. HELLO. good day sir. perhaps we stumble upon each other at work when everyone else is on the camping trip, so it’s casual and easy. also he is starting to catch some feelings towards me….. subconsciously at least.

> also i bring a good cake to april and andy’s wedding instead of what i was assigned (napkins) because i, unlike everyone else, foresaw chris’ inability to bring an actual cake. nobody is impressed by it, though. mostly just mad i didn’t get the napkins.

> leslie tells about the stuff that went down with tom and chris’ reaction to it. it throws me off but i try to play it casually and then for a while things get a bit awkward with him. but he doesn’t notice it, someone else has to point it out. maybe andy, without realizing? so that makes chris think...

> also ben would actually move to my place because i have a spare room and he prefers more… adult-like company. and we’d bond a bit more and he’d tell me about his thing with leslie because i am “the kind of person you just want to tell your darkest secrets to without being prompted” (his words, not mine). and we’d help andy and april be grown ups together. besties energy!!!

> the snake juice episode is more me and chris bonding in the bar because i don’t drink very often either. but me and april have an argument, her blackout drunk in spanish and me just… being me, in finnish. nobody knows why we started but we just keep doing it and somehow understanding one another. i swear it would be pretty funny. and of course, haul some of the gang home, it wont be just donna’s job!

> after the road trip episode i get sick, i don’t show up to work so chris gets worried and ben my roomie tells chris what’s up. he appears to my apartment with food he recalled me liking (aka things he’d never eat) and i get SO happy, very touched.

> after that? it’s all a blur. perhaps we get together during the season finale? kind of discreetly, out of nowhere, he’s having his ”i could die anyday now” spiral and i show up and he’s having a realization along the lines of ”if i died before i got to kiss her this life would’ve been a WASTE”. ok it’s a little bit dramatic but in a way that fits us. so.

> oh yes season finale he actually talks to ME about his problem and anxiety and i actually help him with it and make him feel more at ease and it shows really well how similar we are about health anxiety and just the general outlook in life. and a kiss happens kind of unexpectedly.

> nobody knows about it at first, just because... it would be a bit too much.

> also, ben’s the first to find out. and it’d be a very big surprise for him. he doesn’t internalize it for a while. it would be so funny. also we’re just going to ignore the rules about office relationships entirely because i cannot be bothered.

> so i come along to the lunch date as previously discussed and then this scene happens instead IT JUST WORKS aaaand after his treat yourself day ben wears the batman costume at my place bc duh he lives there. but it ends up with me also bringing out my OWN costume. what costume? i don’t know. but i’d have one, whatever it’d be. i don’t have all the details.

> aaaand because ben lives with me he doesnt get into a fight with andy but instead comes to the halloween party in his batman suit encouraged by me but nobody really recognises him/everyone ignores him so he walks around very offended especially after he spots me and chris making out. also i teach chris to dance because he sucks at it (affectionate).

> and of course, we go hang out to the end of the world AND go to the tom and jean ralphio’s party. duh.

> i’d totally hype up andy for being finland in the model UN. FINLAND REP. but also what the fuck are these events. what is the american school system. what is america. i miss finland. without all the lions.

> so. i’ve been a little bit aloof lately and chris wonders why because we’ve been doing so well but now i’m “so busy” and kind of avoiding him, so thats why he launches the investigations. and in the end everyone comes to the conclusion that maybe… he should ASK ME.

> so in the smallest park episode he finally manages to ask me about it and i tell him that i miss finland. so he suggests that i should go back for a few weeks. also we say i love you…. cute…

> i totally help leslie with the campaign as well for i volunteer to be the design and advertisement manager !!

> and when ben’s depression hits… i’m stuck with him at our place and i call chris for help because i have no idea how to handle a depressed ben and it’s been 5 days and he just keeps getting worse. i mean, he is relatable, but chris help your girl and your bestie out.

> after that i head to finland for a few weeks. chris’ pretty down for most of the time, so everyone else is trying to cheer him up. he still ends up being the dj for the valentine’s dance and making everyone miserable. UNTIL BOOM BOW I SURPRISE HIM and arrive a bit early. our reunion is very cute and wholesome. that’s why he disappears and leslie thinks he’s cheating on me with ann lmao.

aaaand that’s how far i’ve gotten. we’ll see when/if i manage to continue this. anyways if you got this far you’re a real champ. me and chris are cheering for you xoxo have a great day

#self ship #self shipping #self insert #plan and action #DAYS. WEEKS. YEARS. PUT INTO THIS. i love it!!!#part two soon i hope??

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tleeaves · 25 days

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❤️💛💚💙🌙💉📺 🧟‍♀️ 🍓 🍊 🍐

Hi, lovely!! Thank you for sending in the ask!

❤️ how tall are you?

I am juuust scraping five foot one (5'1"). No use telling me any short jokes, I've heard them all already throughout my entire life so far. I was born on the tiny side and that never really changed.

💛 what is your favourite feature on yourself?

Hm, I'd have to say my hair. I really like all the ways it can sit/behave depending on when I washed it, if I let it dry naturally, what length it's at and so on. Also, I love how soft and fluffy it can feel. I have a bad habit of touching my hair actually, from like brushing/combing it back with my hands to twirling it around my fingers (not in a flirty way, just in a "wow I love the texture" way). Growing up, a lot of people were fascinated with my hair because of how thick it was too, and that kind of rubbed off on me maybe?

💚 where are you from?

Originally, a farm in Australia. Currently, in coastal suburbia, still Australia!

💙 do you have any siblings?

Yes! Three. They're all younger than me.

🌙 your zodiac (Sun, Moon, Rising)

Capricorn Sun, Leo Moon, and also Capricorn Rising (I think, I'm not totally knowledgeable about astrology)

💉 do you have tattoos and/or piercings

No tattoos (yet, I fully plan on getting some) and just single ear piercings. I'm not a huge fan of ear piercings (on myself) if I'm honest? Plenty of my friends and family get way more. The only other ones I've been considering are a nose stud and naval piercing.

📺 last show you watched

I think it was The Umbrella Academy? Season 4, incomplete, mostly cause I've seen some spoilers floating around and now I'm scared to finish it and be further disappointed by how it ends. Oh wait, I have been watching Jojo's Bizarre Adventures but I can't remember out of the two which was more recent. Still like early on in the first season of that, but I'm enjoying it.

🧟‍♀️ scariest thing that's happened to you

Hmm. Jokingly? Life. Or public speaking and confessing to crushes. Realistically? The lamest but most honest answer I can think of to say without going into my troubled childhood is self-injecting medication (prescribed and with instructions, don't worry, it wasn't anything that wasn't supposed to happen). I still get weird echoes of the pain in my thighs at the injection sites even though it's been almost a year since I went unmedicated. I used to majorly dread injection days, to the point where I made myself feel sicker than ever. I've now developed a phobia around needles which sucks since I still need regular blood testing. Even if I think about it now, I start feeling horribly sick and dissociate. Or, you know, learning to drive tended to kick my body into fight/flight/freeze. I fucking hate driving. Can we return to horseback as the main mode of travel? Or trains??

🍓 favourite food

How do I answer this?? I love food! Maybe chocolate? Waffles? Chocolate on waffles? Cold spanakopita? Pizza? Makaronopita/pastitsio? Aaaaaa all of the above. That's the best you're gonna get out of me.

🍊 favourite season?

Autumn!! Used to be summer because I really love the thunderstorms, but it's gotten waaay too hot where I now live for me to actually enjoy the season.

🍐 if you could make one character real, who would it be

Tough question, I love sooo many characters (I have long lists). Maybe Kell Maresh from the Shades of Magic series. I'd marry that guy. From Tokyo Debunker which you know me from? Either Sho or Tohma. Maybe Haru. Of the three though, I'd probably pick Sho.

#asks

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raspberry-pudding · 4 months

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6/3/2024

It's been a very long time since I've posted. I just haven't thought about this account much over the past two-ish months.

I'm in a rough position. I mean, I don't know, I feel like it's rough but I know everything is gonna work out completely fine. Work has made me start smoking 4 joints a day, including smoking throughout my shift now. But I don't have to worry about that anymore because yesterday was my last day there. I've already been able to cut it back down to 2 joints a day, plus some of a bowl at bedtime.

More weed waffling below the cut, as always.

Honestly, I've been so distracted with work that I haven't noticed the negative impacts weed has had on me lately. Which, I don't like because it makes doing it feel more okay to me. If feel likes I'm smoking just to be okay with being alive and I'm sick of feeling that way. Not every day is like this, but the hard ones are.

Sorry if this post sounds a little groggy or weird in language, I've been up awhile and am drinking coffee, but my brain just still isn't here yet. I like writing things out in the morning, though, because it takes me away from accidentally getting stuck on my phone -- which has also been a terrible issue lately. Generally, I can keep myself away from my phone pretty easy because I don't like the notifications or being talked to. But I have been struggling a lot with not going on TikTok and Instagram, and the tendency to go on these apps increases when I'm stoned for sure. I can just zone out on the apps and not even realize what's happening until hours later -- I hate that shit.

I quit my job. Because I started doing a work from home job instead and it was going really great for a month. Until I was told that the company would no longer prioritize relocating me to new projects in the future. So, I could get more work in the future but it sounds unlikely. I quit my job so I could do this one more instead -- it used my degree, it paid well, I thought I was doing really well at it because all my feedback was good. But now, I don't have a job, and while my fiancé and I can live on his check fine, I really liked making money and having my own money to pay for student loans.

My fiancé tells me to look at it all as a blessing in disguise. I'll just say what my job was, why does it matter? I feel so paranoid about someone on here knowing who I am but this blog has literally been nothing but me speaking into the void. I worked at a Starbucks for the past 6 months and at first it was fantastic. I joined a new location and was able to get one on one training before the place opened, so I really got the recipes down and everything. But I stayed about 3 or 4 months longer than I really should have. I loved making drinks, I loved being with my coworkers, but what I didn't love was management and the fact that me and two other girls were always stuck doing everything in that place. I love my coworkers -- but damn, a lot of them did not do a single thing. I didn't even work as much as everyone else and the few days I did work I was carrying the whole weight of the place on my back. Sometimes I got stuck as the only person there and would jump between register, making drinks, making food, and doing prep all at the same time -- I'm so happy we didn't have a drive thru at this location. But I would literally do everything back there, and I think my breaking point was that my manager still acted like what I was doing wasn't enough for her. Not to mention, I'm not a person who has their phone out when they work and I got yelled at for handing someone my phone to watch one video I was talking about while I made the one and only drink order we had. Meanwhile, my coworkers are blatantly on TikTok behind the counter and they don't get anything said to them.

Fuck, this post about recovering from weed just turned into a waffle about my work. But this place is what's made my consumption so awful lately. I forgot the point too -- that maybe this is all a blessing in disguise for me. I was looking for any reason at all to quit. I was busting my ass every day I went in and the manager was starting to treat me like shit more and more -- like I can't do anything right and that I'm a new problem for her to conspire getting rid of. Which, she did with others, conspiring ways to make them quit or get fired and it kept working; and when her attitude with me started changing in this way I knew I was next anyway. I don't even understand why she keeps doing it; someone does something very little that she doesn't like and instead of talking to them, her and the assistant manager just conspire to get rid of them. Until we're short staffed as fuck -- we've been running on 6 employees per day at work when we should have double that because she keeps trying to get rid of people. But then she doesn't wanna hire anyone new because she doesn't want to train them. Well, me and my best friend quit on the same day so now they're so short staffed they have to hire people, because not enough people are there to give days off.

My fiancé has been tired of me coming home for lunch and just breaking down crying and screaming every day. And he's right about how a shitty, minimum wage ass job shouldn't leave me that way. Maybe the purpose of the other job was just to prove that I can find something better and a reason to get away from Starbucks. I really don't know the purpose of any of it right now.

I guess I'm just glad to be away from that place. I'm sad about it because I genuinely liked the work and my coworkers, but I didn't like getting stuck with every part of the job by myself only to get yelled at that I'm still not doing good enough. I guess it's easy to see why I started smoking at work and went up to 4 joints a day.

I really do think now that I'm away from that place, being able to get a handle of how much weed I'm smoking will improve. Like I said, I've already brought it back down to 2 joints a day. I also haven't been enjoying the way weed makes me feel lately, it's more like a headache than anything else. And of course, I think it's a big source of my laziness and procrastination that I used to not have at all before smoking.

I've tried this journey so many times, but I feel really good about this go around. I think I can really do good this time. I've waffled so long today. Thanks for listening.

Iris🪻

#recovering stoner #diary #recovery #self help #tw addiction #weed addiction #marijuana addiction #sobriety #recovery journey

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stardust-static · 2 years

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I swear to you I don't know why it is but when I get sick I get super down and like have this feeling of hopelessness. Bailey's going to be at work the next 5 days so he won't be home to hold me. Which is honestly the only thing that makes me feel better. I absolutely need affection when I'm sick or else I get the sadness real bad. My family used to get so mad at me growing up because I'd make them hug me and I'd get the whole house sick. My dad would always get mad and banish me to my room and call it quarantine. 😅

The first day I was unwell I slept almost all day and Bailey was going about outside doing his gardening and I just wanted him to lay down with me 'cause I had the sads and I needed love, but he was dirty from outside so he couldn't cuddle and had things to do before he had to go back to work. Fine.. Then he came in and I heard him heating himself leftovers from the dinner I made him the night before. I hadn't eaten all day. All I had were liquids. Granted I had zero desire to eat anything. Especially not pasta and had plans on eating an orange and crackers and cheese for dinner, but still! It's the principal. He should have asked. So I layed there and cried, because I felt that was really unthoughtful and then I thought about an entire breakup scene about this situation. This is how mad and emotional I was. 😂

Then I got up to grab myself an orange and he was like "oh you're awake now. How are you feeling?" and I was like " yeah.. still feels awful but don't worry about me. I'll just grab myself something to eat and drink." And he was like "what? Babe!" And I walked to our room and shut the door. Then angry because my hands were too weak to peel the stupid orange and now I'm peeling an orange on my bed like a savage. He came in and apologized and peeled my orange for me and made me laugh. He just thought I was sleeping and didn't want to wake me up. After he showered off his day outside he cuddled with me and I was so happy. I was like "I love this man so much!", But also I literally broke up with him in my head over not making me dinner. 😅 Kinda unhinged, but ya girl gets emotional when she gets sick! Bailey knows this.. but yeah we're good. The next day he brought me my comfort sick meal for dinner which is a happy meal with chicken nuggets.

And the other thing I've gotten emotional about lately is my best friend who I don't hear from nearly as often because she's gotten married and had a baby and they've been house searching, but yeah I just started thinking about her yesterday and started to cry and thought about how she doesn't need me anymore or look forward to talking to me. Got real sad about that. Today she let me know that they got a house and we had a beautiful conversation about how much we love and miss each other and made plans to see each other when I feel better. yeah.. I need to stop being sick so I can disassociate from my overload of feelings. I've been crying way too much lately. Today I was watching snippets of "The Help" and crying. I need to rewatch that movie... It's a good one. 🥲

But yeah the first two days of being sick were just me being really cold and achy with a stuffy nose and no appetite. Nothing too crazy.. Then Bailey woke me up last night to let me know that I was drenched in sweat. So now I'm just really hot and I've got chills, a sore throat, I made myself have a waffle today because it was the only bland thing that didn't make me want to hurl, but then I most definitely did hurl. Liquids are all I can keep down. If I feel this bad tomorrow I might do my least favorite thing and go to urgent care. I usually just tough it out when I get sick, but I think my throat is getting sores and I spit up blood today. So yeah.. I feel like I'm perishing. Also my house is grossing me out and it's all I can think about. I have 4 white long hair animals. I need to brush them at least twice a week and vacuum just as often. Well I missed my vacuum day twice. I was already behind before I got sick. Now there's so much dog hair everywhere and it's freaking me out but every time I get up I get woozy and I just feel really weak. The hair is all I can think about though and Bailey can't help cause he's at work all day and night. So yeah.. these are my current qualms with the world, void.

Also there's dishes in the sink, but fuck 'em I guess. I'll get to them when I can I suppose...

*is actually really bothered by the dishes in the sink and knows it will keep me up at night if I don't clear them before bed*

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kink-queerious · 2 years

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do you ever... do you ever just... ya know... do you ever just have leftover strawberry puree from a waffle breakfast your partner ordered and so you put it on toaster waffles and pace around your kitchen like you're living the life of luxury

#i have like $1 in my bank account but maybe this is what they call manifesting #also one waffle in and i already started feeling sick #thanks disabilities #also it is 1am #i should not be eating rn because im not gonna be able to sleep through the pain #i am only capable of making bad choices #and like gluten free toaster waffles are not worth the pain #but the strawberry puree SO was #personal

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honeyhotteoks · 3 years

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into the aurora -- chapter four (ot8)

chapter four: a new path found

chapter summary: you give the boys your answer, and find a new beginning

warnings: some suggestive conversation. please let me know if I missed any.

pairings: ot8 x reader

genre: fluff, angst, romance, ateez ensemble x reader, polyamory, non-idol!reader, fem!reader, eventual smut

word count: 3.5K

(previous chapter) (next chapter) | AO3

It’s been a week. A whole week of wondering if your decision was the right one and wondering if you could still work with them. Everything seems to have shifted for you, and even their music when it comes up on shuffle you have to quickly skip so you don’t start to feel the now familiar chest tightening anxiety. But you’re here now, in the car and on the way to the KQ offices. Over the past week you’ve texted Hongjoong a bit, and to rejoin everyone you’ve asked that he meet you first before you have to face the rest of them. Your hands are sweating, your cheeks warm, and the rock of the vehicle starts to make you slightly sick. The point of today was to sign your employment paperwork, but you know it’s also the day to give Hongjoong your decision about the proposition.

It was a long week of preparation, not to mention waffling back and forth on your original decision, but in the end every time you really asked yourself what you wanted, your initial gut choice remains the right one and the one you stick with.

As the car slides to a stop in front of a tall glass building, your breath catches.

“Miss,” the driver says, “we’ve arrived.”

You thank him and gather your things, sliding across the seat to climb out of the sleek black sedan and plant your feet firmly on the sidewalk of Seoul. With your heart pounding in your ears, you double check the last text from Hongjoong – Suite 4000, reception will send you back.

In the elevator you take several deep inhales and exhales, practiced and meditative breaths, but when the doors slide open it feels as if it was all for nothing.

The KQ offices are bustling, a large central reception area greets you initially, but you can see through the glass wall behind the desk that it’s just as busy as up front. The receptionist catches your eye and asks what she can do to help you, and for a moment you’re hardly sure what to say, but you recover, “I’m y/n, I am supposed to meet with Kim Hongjoong at 10am?”

“Ah yes,” she nods, “He’s already waiting for you.”

“Thank you,” you reply, as she stands and walks you back past a few doors to the right to a small conference room. She gestures forwards, prompting you to continue through the open doorway. With a deep breath, you cross the threshold.

The receptionist introduces you before pulling the small conference room door shut and leaving you alone. Hongjoong looks just the same, his hair still strikingly blonde and still dressed in layers of leather, denim, and necklaces. He grins at you immediately, “y/n!”

“Ah hello Hongjoong,” you cross the length of the room to meet him, and he spares no time enveloping you in a hug.

“I’m so glad that you’re here,” he says.

“Me too,”

The hug ends, and you take a step back. Suddenly in his presence, all the nerves and fear you felt in the car in anticipation of this moment have dissipated. If nothing else that makes your choice all the more clear.

Hongjoong gestures for you to sit, and he does the same. In front of you on the conference room table sits a glass of cold water and a tray with coffee, sugar, and cream. “Can I fix you some coffee?” he offers.

You nod, “Please,”

“How do you take it?”

“Cream and two sugars, please,” you watch as he pours the cup and gets it just the way you like before passing it over to you.

“How has your week been?” he asks.

“It’s been….strange,” you admit, “I’ve been thinking about everything, and how much about my life has changed since meeting you.”

“I understand,” he says, and reaches out to you to offer a hand, palm up and open.

You take it without hesitation, and he smiles. He starts off with something easy, “The paperwork is all ready for you, someone should be here with it shortly.”

There’s a long pause of silence, his unsaid question hanging in the air.

“I went home, and I thought about everything, like you said.”

His eyes lock on yours, but he waits for you to continue.

Your heart beats hard in your chest again. You take a deep breath, and then you dive. “My answer is yes.”

“Yes?” He’s clearly surprised, and you’re almost surprised by yourself but you’re sure of this choice.

“I want to stay,” you admit, “I want to come home with all of you.”

His hand tightens on yours, “Oh y/n, I’m so glad.”

“There are a few things that I want to ask for,” this is something you’ve been thinking about too, “I have some conditions.”

“We have some too,” he agrees.

“Okay,” you exhale the breath you had been holding tightly in your chest, “What’s next?”

“After you get the papers signed, we can go find the rest of the guys, they should be getting to the practice studio soon and we can talk privately there,”

“I can’t wait to see them,” you sigh.

“They’ve been nervous about what you might say,” Hongjoong confesses, “and Sannie has asked me every day if I’ve heard from you.”

“I missed him,” you murmur, “all of you, really.”

“Mm,” there is such tenderness in his gaze, and you are about to ask after San when the door to the conference room opens and a middle-aged woman with a binder and some paperwork comes in. Hongjoong releases your hand and moves back, letting you know he’ll be back to collect you in an hour when the initial paperwork and onboarding is completed.

You spend the next hour reading through the terms of your employment, learning about your compensation, benefits, and job expectations. When the meeting ends and Hongjoong comes again, you’re officially a KQ Entertainment employee. You may not have signed anything with the boys directly, but it certainly feels as though there is no going back now.

It’s a quick walk down the block to get the actual studio space, but once you’re inside the front door Hongjoong lets you know that once you get in the elevator and the doors open, you’ll be directly in the main space. They’ve carefully orchestrated the day so that it’s only the eight of them in the studio today and standing here in the elevator you’re pretty sure that makes you equal parts exhilarated and terrified. You promised yourself that you’d keep your head. You’d lay out your conditions. You’d make sure everyone agreed before you so much as stepped foot in their dorms.

“They’ll be happy to see you,” he assures, his hand running smoothing circles along your shoulders.

As the elevator hits the right floor, you can hear the music abruptly stop. A ding sounds and you swallow hard, glancing quickly to Hongjoong who looks nothing but elated. The doors open and after a week of wondering about them, they were here in front of you. A gentle push from Hongjoong prompts you to step out of the elevator and into the cool room. It’s clear everyone was just in formation, just Jongho standing separately, presumably the one who cut the music short. You look over everyone, but your eyes can’t help but lock and linger on San who looks about as nervous as you’ve ever seen him.

“You’re back,” Wooyoung says first.

“Yes,” you nod, “I just signed the paperwork with KQ and Hongjoong wanted to bring me over to see you all,”

“Oooh,” Mingi claps, “exciting!”

It lightens the vibe in the room considerably and you grin back at im, “I’m very excited,”

“Well,” Hongjoong shrugs off his jacket to hang on a hook on the wall, “y/n came tell you all something herself,”

Another deep breath, another dive, “I already spoke to Hongjoong, but I’d like to stay. If you’ll still have me.”

It takes about a second for San to run and sweep you into a tight hug. He says nothing, but you can feel the pounding of his heart and hear the way he breathes above your ear.

“So, I’ll take that as a yes?” you joke weakly, and San laughs gently in your ear.

Eight voices chorus a yes, and you sigh into San’s arms before he gives you one last squeeze and releasing you to stand back on your own. You clear your throat lightly and know you need to get the next part out before you can’t, “I don’t really know how this is supposed to work, but I thought a lot about it and I have some conditions,”

Yeosang answers first, “Of course,”

“Let’s sit and talk,” Hongjoong offers, “come on,”

You follow his lead, as do the rest of the boys. He takes a comfortable seat on the floor of the studio and waves you all down. Naturally you form a loose circle, and you reach for your bag to find your notebook.

Seonghwa gives you a look when he sees it, “you have notes?”

“Well, I’ve never done this before,” you laugh, “I had to be a little prepared.”

San to your left is still seated close, his hand resting softly on your knee, angled towards you while you organize your thoughts. You look over everyone and take a deep breath.

“Don’t be nervous,” Yeosang says, his steady voice comforting.

“Okay,” you flip the cover back on your notebook and look down at your numbered list, “when I talked to Hongjoong about this last week he told me that you had all already done something like this on a temporary basis with another girl.” A few eyes flick to Hongjoong, but you continue, “I’m not exactly sure what everyone expects of this, and of me, but I know you want me to live in the dorms with you and Hongjoong alluded to the rest.”

Jongho shifts, looking a bit uncomfortable.

Yeosang’s sharp eyes meet yours, “You have concerns?”

“Not concerns,” you shake your head, “but things I think are just better to say sooner rather than later,”

“It’s all right,” San says, “you can tell us.”

“For starters I think it’s important that you all know I don’t have much experience like this,” you pull your legs in to cross them, “I’ve dated and had relationships, but not a lot so this is a bit overwhelming.”

“Ahh,” Wooyoung acknowledges.

You smooth the paper down under your palm and look to Hongjoong, “First, if there’s room at the house, I’d like to have my own room or my own space. I don’t want to be inconvenient, but it’s important for me to have somewhere that is my own if I need it,”

“We can do that,” he assures.

“Okay,” you look back to the wider group, “Next I would really like to take things a bit slowly at first – I still have really only just met you, and I know we’ll be living and working together, but I would like the time to get to know you all before,” you falter a bit and it’s Seonghwa who interrupts you.

“Ah no,” he gestures for you let him speak, “it’s not just about something physical for us. We’d like you as a friend and a partner, and the rest will surely come.”

“Oh,” you murmur, “okay then,”

San’s thumb rubs a gentle line against your knee, giving you both a bit of much needed comfort. You glance back down at your papers, “For when that does happen though,” you straighten up a bit, it’s an uncomfortable topic but if you were about to start sleeping with eight men you should at least be able to talk about it, “I’d like to be as safe about things as we can. I have a birth control implant so that won’t be an issue, but I’d like to request everyone get tested as well. I was before coming here, and I’m clear but to be on the safe side,”

“Smart,” Hongjoong nods, “we can do that, right?”

Everyone agrees and that’s the last of your list. You close the notebook, clasping your hands together to rest in your lap, “That’s everything,”

“Okay,” Hongjoong sighs, “I think we’ll be just fine.”

“You mentioned you had some conditions too?”

“Mm,” he nods, “yes, I think there are a few things we want to be careful of. You know we’re under a considerable amount of attention, and something like this would surely be a problem. When you come and go from the house, please do so in one of the cars. They can pull to the back of the building and there is a private entrance that will keep you out of sight.”

“Of course,”

“Next, please don’t post on social media about,” he starts to say.

“I already deleted my Instagram and Twitter,” you say, “I anticipated this would be a necessary piece to keep you all safe.”

Hongjoong smiles back at you, relieved, “Thank you,”

“Is there anything else?”

“Just one thing.” He turns to you now, fully holding your gaze, “and this is the most important thing. If at any time you do not want to do something, or don’t wish to stay any more, please tell us. We don’t want to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with or make this difficult for you. We know there’s eight of us and only one of you.”

You reach and grasp his hand in yours, “Thank you,”

After a beat he looks to the rest of the group, still holding your hand in his, “Are there any other things from anyone else?”

“There is one thing,” your eyes snap to Yunho. He’s hardly spoken since you arrived, but you caught his eye several times, warmly looking you over. “And it’s something we should all know and be clear on, so you should decide now. You need to choose a safe word, just as a precaution.”

You hear Mingi make a sound of surprise, but no one protests. He’s right of course, and the mere thought of it warms your chest. You can feel a blush rising up in your cheeks, and you glance down from Yunho’s steady gaze. Your mind blanks, nothing seems appropriate, and nothing seems to make sense, and then it comes to you. You look up again, holding on Yunho as you smile, “Treasure.”

Yunho’s lips part as he registers your words. Wooyoung makes a low exaggerated wow and your blush deepens. Yunho recovers, and he clears his throat, “Good,”

You gently place the backs of your knuckles against your cheeks to quell the blush that has most certainly settled there, “Anything else?”

“No, no,” Hongjoong brings the group back to center and moves on, “we should finish practice but then we’ll be done for the afternoon, and we can take you back to the dorms,”

“Okay,” you straighten up and sigh, reaching to give San’s hand a quick squeeze.

“What about your things?” Yeosang asks, “is there anything you’ll need to get?”

“I brought everything,” you admit, “it’s all in the car you sent for me. I was really hoping you hadn’t changed your minds since I already packed it all and put my apartment up for a sub-lease,”

Seonghwa laughs, “Already?”

“Honestly,” you say, “the minute I got home I wanted to turn around, I knew I had made my decision then.”

“Ahh!”

“Wow!”

“So sweet,”

San gives you a squeeze.

Practice must continue, so you let them get back to it, falling back to rest against the wall by the elevators and watching them work. You’re shaking off the embarrassment of the conversation, not sure what deep part of you immediately reached for ‘treasure’ as the safe word, but you suppose you’ll find out.

You know this life might be a strange one now. It will likely be full of secrets and discreet travelling to keep them safe. You’re sure there will be days they are gone and you can’t go with them, or nights where they will be filming and you’ll be alone, but being alone is something you’re used to. You’ve become good at being alone. You and you friends have grown apart since finishing university, and living alone in a big city trying to make ends meet for a small apartment has given you very little free time to explore anything outside of your music.

It’s been several months since you’ve dated, and even then it was casual. Though you do have some experience, it’s not as if you’re a virgin, it’s just been a while. You wrap your arms around your legs and lean your chin on your knee, watching them drill choreography for their new single. You wonder which of them you’ll grow closest to, which of them will become your confidant, which of them will become your lovers. Your mind wanders.

Lost in thought, you don’t realize the practice has ended until Wooyoung waves his hand in front of your face, “Atinyyy,” he affectionately calls.

“Time to go!” he offers you a hand and you let him pull you to your feet. Something you can already tell about Wooyoung is that he’s a flirty person. Every little thing he does comes with a glint in his eyes, and the extreme confidence of a 22-year-old attractive man.

“Back to the dorms?” you ask.

“Mmhm,” you could swear his eyebrow gives you a cheeky raise, “we’re done for the day, just dinner and a team meeting later.”

“Sounds good,”

From behind you, a pair of hands land on your shoulders and San’s face appears in your periphery, “Our cars are almost here,”

From the side you hear everyone throwing around ideas for dinner, Yunho in particular whining that he’s starving. It feels almost normal already, and you decide it’s time to start relaxing into it. Reaching, you rest your hands on San’s and turn your head just slightly, aware of just how close he is. “San,”

“Hmm?” he turns to you.

“Tteokbokki,” you say.

His eyes widen and his light laugh erupts, “Is that what you want?”

“Mmhm,” you grin, giving him a little cheek.

“Ooooh,” Wooyoung teases, “so this is what you look like when you have a crush, y/n.”

Blush heats your cheeks again.

“Well,” San is clearly pleased with that, and reaches around you to cross one forearm over your upper chest, arm resting shoulder to shoulder. Your back is flush against his, and he pivots you both towards the larger group still holding you softly against him. “Our lady demands tteokbokki!”

You laugh at the new moniker and feel San rest his chin against your hair. It barely takes a moment for Mingi to start a chant for it and Yunho to point straight at you, “Genius!”

“All right, all right,” Hongjoong says, “let’s go, we’ll have it picked up on the way,”

San presses a quick kiss to your hair and pulls away, moving to grab his jacket from the hook on the wall and get his bag. You’re sure there’s a ridiculous grin on your face, but you can’t help it. The boys are calling over each other, and you can barely keep up with one conversation let alone four or five, but follow them down to the garage, pile into your cars, and start to head home.

Every mile you drive the nerves start to return little by little, the idea of suddenly being alone in their home, now your home, is a reality that is dawning on you. But it’s also exactly what you wanted and there’s no running now, you just have to keep calm and commit to the idea you spelled out for yourself a week ago. On the drive you are peppered with questions, the music bumps through the speakers, and Wooyoung shouts in the back. You’re doing your best to keep up, sure that after a little while you’ll sink into the rhythm that is them. Finally, when the car pulls off a side street and into a private garage in the bottom of a tall building, you exhale shakily.

“Okay?” Yunho bumps you gently with his knee from the seat next to you.

“Nervous,” you admit to him.

“It’s okay,” he assures you, “we’re home now, we can relax.”

You nod as the car pulls to a stop.

“Besides,” he says giving you a dazzling smile, “I think you’ll like it. We’re very fun to live with,”

The tension breaks immediately and you laugh, “I’m sure you think you’re fun to live with, but with how much screaming Wooyoung is doing here I’m sure it’s crazy,”

Yunho ruffles your hair gently before unbuckling your seatbelt and his and sliding open the car door, “Oh definitely, but I think you like a bit of crazy.”

He’s not wrong, if he were wrong, you wouldn’t be here. You take another deep breath and follow him out of the car and into your new life.

taglist: @butterfliesinthenightsky @stitch3s @flowerboykun @theartofhotchinthesnow @yoongistangerine @inarinabina

to be added to the taglist, please send me a message x

a/n: I have one more full chapter written after this which is a bit of filler fluff, so that will be posted soon. After that, we'll see where the story goes! I have a full outline planned and some later chapters written though. in case it wasn't already clear, this story is going to be pretty long and pretty slow burn, but please trust I'll keep going and will be posting as often as i can.

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primofate · 3 years

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2K Followers Event: Pancake and Waffle Cafe Masterlist

Nutella Waffles (overhearing and misunderstanding a conversation/situation) MODERN AU ANGST

Characters: Childe, Kazuha, Thoma, Albedo, Kaeya, Zhongli, fem!reader

Warnings: not proofread :D, cheating, fighting, insulting, misunderstanding (duh), pregnancy, sexual innuendos, implying sex, mentions of sex, still SFW though, of course I bent the lore since it’s an AU

Notes: I had trouble with this so I decided to make it a modern AU. That’s also why it took so long. I think my brain is starting to run dry XD I mean, there’s only so much situations/conversations I could think of that could be misunderstood. Still, enjoy!

Childe

"Ah, sorry, Y/N, I can’t walk you home today... Maybe tomorrow?” Childe smiled at you, scratching the back of his head, his school bag swung over his shoulder already. He looked like he was in a hurry.

It’s been a few days like this and you really didn’t know what was happening. You asked him if he needed help with stuff at home or if he was having a hard time with his homework and if that’s why he was always rushing off. He would just give you the same smile and wave a hand. “It’s nothing like that,” and then off he’d go.

The next day, as you walk towards his classroom during lunchtime you hear him and his friends talking before you even reach the classroom door.

“Zoe is totally cute,” Childe says. The voice he uses is something that he’d never used on you before. You freeze in your tracks and try to listen in more. “Wow, she really is! Great job picking her!” one of his friends said and it sounded as if they’d hit Childe on the back as a congratulations. “Let me see, let me see,” another one says followed by a gasp. “Have you taken her out yet?” Childe laughs nervously and you know all too well without even looking at him that he’s probably scratching his head. “No, not yet,”

“Does your girlfriend know yet?” Someone else asks.

And then you hear a laugh that’s all too mischievous. All too playful. All too heart-wrenching. “She doesn’t know!” and they continue to laugh.

You turn away and try your hardest not to let tears escape from your eyes. It felt as if you were being laughed at. Like everyone knew that he was cheating. Everyone except you. It doesn’t help that there was a Zoe in the other class too. The way his friends laughed made your cheeks heat up in embarrassment and the tears you were so desperately holding back to finally flow through.

You ended up staying in the washroom for the whole of lunch time, staying in a cubicle for an extra few minutes, late for the next class.

Somehow you didn’t expect Childe to still show up in your classroom to pick you up for the day and walk you home. You stare at him at the classroom door, your eyes had already gone back to their normal shade, but still glossy. He doesn’t notice, he has a big smile on his face that mocks you. Ridicules you.

“Y/N! Let’s go together today!” Does he feel guilty? Is that why he finally agrees to walk home with you? Cause he’s had his fill of Zoe already? You don’t say a word and exit the classroom, going past him. Childe blinks, and turns to watch you walking away from him. “Y/N?”

He walks after you, and takes his place next to you. He touches the strap of your backpack, as usual, and says “I’ll take this--”

“I got it,” you reply curtly and move away from him. He’s dumbfounded, eyes still a little wide at your sudden coldness. Now he’s getting anxious. Did he do something wrong? “H-Hey...Y/N, are you mad because I didn’t walk home with you the past couple days? See, I was just--”

“I’m not that petty!” You nearly growl at him, holding his gaze for a few seconds before walking off again. Your eyes are starting to prickle with more tears. You just wanted to get home. As soon as you can. Away from him. You didn’t have the heart to break up with him face to face. You liked him too much, you knew you wouldn’t be able to do it while looking at his handsome face.

Then, he snatches your wrist and pulls you back towards him. The school hallways are emptying out, there’s a few students walking by who ignore the two of you. “Then what’s the matter? I don’t like it when we fight. At least tell me what I did!”

You wrench your wrist away from his and start sniffing. He stands there, shocked at where your tears are coming from. Until you start talking. “I heard you, during lunch time,” his eyebrows furrow. “Lunch...time?” He mumbles, not following. “When you were talking about your cute Zoe!” He doesn’t say anything for a moment and that only confirms your fears.

He’d been looking at other girls, and probably wanting them.

“...Y/N, Zoe is...” Childe scratched his cheek, averting his eyes away.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you try to turn away, but he doesn’t let you and holds your shoulders with his hands, staring straight at you. “My dog,” You were crying at this point, and when you hear his next words your eyes narrow. “W-What?”

“Zoe is my new dog,”

“B-But your friend asked if you took her out yet...”

“Yeah,” Childe tilted his head, “for a walk?” As you start to connect the dots he takes out his phone and shows you the picture of a cute miniature poodle, it had a collar and a silver tag on it that said “Zoe”. You thought that you might cry again at how cute she was but you just glare up at Childe. “Well, I didn’t tell you cause I was gunna surprise you. I’ve been going home early these days cause we had to go visit the pound a few times and finalize the papers and everything...”

“I-Is that true? Is that all it is?” You sniff, now wiping your stupid tears away. Childe smiles down at you and takes your hands away from your face, replacing it with his, thumbing away the streaks of wetness. “Y/N, no one can ever replace you,” you sniff and let him dote on you. You’d been missing him for a while anyway.

“...Well except Zoe, maybe Zoe can,” he’s clearly teasing you and you don’t hesitate to lift your fist and punch him on the shoulder, earning a small “Ow,” from him followed by a laugh. “I’m just kidding, how ‘bout you come over and visit her today? It’s only her second day home!”

Thoma

You’d made an appointment with your friend a long time ago. Just a quick lunch and catch up date. Thoma had graciously volunteered to drive you to the mall where you were meeting up with her.

“You sure you don’t need me to pick you up? It’s Saturday. I’m free,” he flashes you a smile, his eyes darting towards you only for a second before going back to the road. “I’ll be fine hun, I’ll take the bus home,” you reply to him.

Halfway through your journey he says that he needs to buy something from a convenience store, and so he parks the car properly and grabs his wallet. His phone is on the car phone stand and you pay no heed to it until a soft ‘ding’ makes you pick your head up to look at the screen.

Your best friend’s name pops up, she’s messaged him and your blood runs cold.

“I’ll come over when Y/N’s gone,” the message read. Your heart is already at your throat, and you don’t know what to think. What is this make-believe situation that you’re suddenly in. Is this really happening? Your eyes dart upwards to look at the door of the convenience store. You could see Thoma was still looking at the shelves.

You gulp and you wonder what the right thing to do is. Invade his privacy and peek at his messages? Let it go? Confront him? Cry? Another ‘ding’ fills up the car.

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So...” you couldn’t read the rest of the message, it being cut off but you were already spiraling down the hole of despair. How could he? Your sweet and loyal Thoma ended up going behind your back with your best friend. You thought you were going to be sick, you actually had to roll the windows of the car down to get some fresh air, just as Thoma came out of the convenience store door with a plastic bag.

You couldn’t look at him. You couldn’t even be in the same space as him. You were going to cancel today with your friend, you didn’t think you’d be able to function properly. When he sat on the driver’s seat and saw you looking out the window, he didn’t think much of it and revved the engine up. “Ready hu--”

“Take me to my sister’s place,” Thoma blinked and turned to you, confused. “But, what about your lunch date today, dear?”

“I don’t feel like going. My sister’s place is nearby, just drop me off there,” Your hands were already typing a reply to the friend that you were about to stand up on, but you couldn’t even think of what to do or say.

“Dear is everything okay?” He asked while backing the car up, arm outstretched to your side while he’s looking at the rear. He was appalled by your sudden mood change. You didn’t answer but he hears you sniff and he immediately stops the car again. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” He’s alarmed that you’re crying and he reaches to cup your chin and tilt it towards him but you move your face away from him.

“Y/N?” he asked, the confusion in his voice is actually genuine and you can hear a bit of panic in it. “How long have you been seeing Aya?” you spit the words as if they’re poison and the car is quiet. You laugh bitterly. “I thought so, cat got your tongue, huh?”

Thoma shook himself out of his confusion to say, “No, wait, I don’t know what you mean,” You scoff at him. You’re shocked at the amount of resentment you had, you trusted this man and yet this is what happens. “Yeah? Why is she sneaking into our house then?” You point at his phone, the screen is still lit up because of the messages and there were more coming in from your best friend.

Thoma snatches the phone away from the stand and looks at it. Then, he deflates and slumps back on his seat. “Y/N, it’s not what you think,” You hate that line so much. You cross your arms and say, “Just drop me at my sister’s house,”

“Y/N--”

“NOW!”

The drive was quiet. You didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to push you but didn’t want to drop you off to your sister’s without explaining as well. So, just before your sister’s block, he parks on the side and unbuckles his seat belt, then opens your side of the door. “Y/N, listen to me,” he’s rarely this assertive, but you still don’t listen. He’s blocking your escape path.

“It’s your birthday today,” Thoma starts and you blink, completely forgetting about it. “Ayu is sneaking in our house while you’re gone because we were going to set up a surprise for you.” He says slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. Your eyes widen, and you relax in your seat. He gives you his phone and urges you, “Go on, Y/N, you know my passcode right? I don’t hide anything from you, you can read the rest,”

You hesitate, but accept his offer and type it in.

“How long is she going to be out? The longer the better. So we can set up the balloons,”

“I got the cake don’t forget the candles and lighter,”

Thoma picks up his other hand that had the white plastic bag from the convenience store, he picks up the two items from inside. Birthday candles. And a lighter.

Your mouth opens, but you can’t say anything and you only bury your face in your hands out of shame. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry Thoma, I--” He manages to let out a laugh and kisses the top of your head. “I’m so stupid. I trust you, I really do, I just--” now you’re not sure if you’re crying out of relief or embarrassment. “I’m so sorry,” You can’t say anything else and he only kisses you on the forehead again.

“It’s alright, you can make it up to me by going on that lunch date, okay? You deserve the rest. You haven’t cancelled yet have you? Let’s freshen up at your sister’s place and I’ll send you to the mall,”

You nod your head, small smile on your face. This was gunna be one story to tell in the future.

“Oh and it would help if you act surprised when you come home,” Thoma adds with a full laugh that you join in on.

Kaeya

"So how are you and Y/N?”

It’d only been a couple of months of the two of you dating. Kaeya was handsome, gallant and he knew exactly what to say to people. It wasn’t a secret that he was quite popular in school.

Little old you was just another girl in just another class.

“Good, I think,” Kaeya responds, you smile around the corner, hidden from sight, knowing that he was taking a juice box break with his friends. “It’s a little annoying though,” your smile drops and your head tilts sideways in question. “I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,”

Keep me away? You think. Am I too clingy? You hear them exchange words a bit more, but none of the other words process in your head. Their laughter spurs you out of your thoughts and you return to your classroom dumbfounded.

When the bell rang for dismissal you immediately packed and walked home by yourself. Kaeya was confused when he arrived at your classroom door, and found that you weren’t there anymore. “...Hey, did Y/N go home?” he asked one of your passing classmates. “Yeah, she went out pretty fast,”

Now he was worried. Did something happen at home? He takes his phone out as he’s out the school building, tapping your name and calling, only for the call to not even connect. His brows furrow but nonetheless, he goes home for today and types in a message for you.

“Hey, you okay? Talk to me if you need something,”

The next day, when he usually waits outside your door for you to come out, he realizes that you’re a little late and further realizes that you weren’t going to come out. He wasn’t about to knock on your door, your parents didn’t know about him yet.

He tries to call you again but he’s met with the same result as yesterday. He sighs and looks up at the sky while he’s walking. He hasn’t seen you for nearly a full day now, and he doesn’t realize how long a full day is until now. He just wants to see your smiling face again and he starts to wonder if he’d done something wrong.

By lunchtime, he’s sprinting towards your classroom as soon as the bell rings, wondering if you were there. Indeed, finally, he spots you in your classroom and his shoulders slump in relief only to tense up again when he sees a guy in your class talking to you, and you, smiling happily.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you, waving his hand. You look away from your conversation to him and he notices how your smile turns into a tight line on your face. His own smile drops, but you walk out of the classroom anyway and address him. “Yes?” He blinks down at your tone of voice. “U-Uh... Wanna have lunch together?”

“...But it’s annoying that I’m clingy right?” The two of you unconsciously move away from the door to out in the hallway, so that you’re not blocking the way of people coming in and out. He narrows his eyes in confusion. Where is this coming from? “I--No, what do you mean? I never said that,”

“Yesterday, you said you can’t keep me away and it’s annoying,” you averted your gaze, feeling your eyes start to water. Kaeya reels back a little, replaying things in his mind, trying to remember if he said something like that. And, with a light bulb moment, his face breaks into a grin and slight laughter. You glare up at him, “What? It’s funny?”

Kaeya places a hand on your shoulder and explains while smiling. “Y/N, you didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation, did you?”

---What really happened---

“It’s really annoying though. I can’t keep her away and she doesn’t even realize how annoying it is,” he sips on his juice box again.

One of his friends pipe up, “Dude that’s a little harsh,”

Kaeya blinks. Once, twice and thrice. Until it dawns on him. “Oh, no, I meant that I can’t keep her away from other people,” he grins and leans both his elbows on the windowsill. “She doesn’t realize that she’s super friendly, and other people like talking to her a lot. Whenever I go to her classroom she’s always talking to different people.”

His friends make a sound of understanding. “I wish I could just keep her to myself,” and continues sipping on his juice.

“That’s really cheesy, even for you, Kaeya,” one of his friends say and the lot of them starts laughing.

---That’s what really happened---

It was your turn to blink at him, confused. “S-So...”

Kaeya pats your head and smiles. “You can ask my friends if it makes you feel better,”

A small blush crosses your cheeks and you duck your head to hide it. It earns yet another chuckle from him. Your moment is interrupted by another guy who approaches the two of you. “Hey, Y/N, if you’re free, do you think you could help me out with this? I don’t really understand it,”

Kaeya just looks at the guy and sighs, then turns to you again. “See what I mean?” to which you just goofily smile at.

Kazuha

“You saw what?”

Your hands freeze, holding the book you were reading open. The living room had gotten lively again, seeing as your little brother had come home from school. “I saw Kazuha with a girl,”

You try to keep your face composed. It was a school day. You’d stayed home because you weren’t feeling too well. Your brother was saying it without a care in the world. He was just a grade schooler and telling you about the things he observed. He was looking through the fridge for something to drink.

You didn’t ask more, but you were DYING to know more. Kazuha didn’t mention going anywhere today... You picked your phone up and wondered if you should ask him. Your phone had blown up this morning cause he didn’t see you at school and he was wondering if you were alright.

But it seems that Kazuha himself was having a grand time too.

“So...T-The girl...Did they look close?”

Your little brother closes the fridge and looks at you while drinking from a milk carton. “Mm...They were holding each other...” You bit your lip as tingles run down your spine. They weren’t the good kind. It was the kind that you get when you watch horror movies and or a drama movie and a revelation had just happened. You were silent for a moment, but in your mind you were already thinking of how Kazuha looked with another girl. Holding each other? What did your brother mean? Like...hugging? Or...? But you couldn’t ask him about that, could you?!

You sighed out loud and slammed the book you were reading down on the table, just as your phone started ringing. “Kazuha,” you whispered under your breath and looked at your phone screen. Well...you believed in him, and you thought the best way to clear this up is to talk to him about it.

So, you grabbed your phone and retreated into your bedroom to talk to him. You picked up the call, “Kazu-kun?”

“Y/N,” he greeted. Even apart, his voice has this effect on you. Like he was really there and breathing into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You were sure that you were blushing. “How are you? Are you feeling better?” His voice is smooth and calm and you melt into your bed. “Yeah, a little,”

“Could I come over later? I just want to check on you,” You smile into your phone and close your eyes. Kazuha could never do that to you, you think to yourself. But still, you really wanted to ask. “Of course, I don’t think my parents would mind...Hey,” you start, your fingers nervously drawing circles on your pillow. “My brother said he saw you...with a girl,”

There’s silence on the other line, and you can hear him shifting a little. “A...girl?” He repeats the question and you bite your lip. He sounds unsure and now you were unsure too. “Yeah, he said that you were holding on to each other...or something,” Again some silence, until he makes a sound of understanding.

“Ah, he must mean Sango,” there’s a little lilt to his voice, like he was happy and you were a little jealous. “Sango’s my cousin, she came to surprise me for my birthday week.” Kazuha laughs nervously and adds a little hesitantly. “She...uhm...would like to meet you actually, is it okay if I bring her over today?”

Your heart sighs in relief, as do you and you don’t realize that you’ve done that out loud. In the next moment though, you smile and nod, even though he can’t see you. “Of course! Bring her over!”

Albedo (More fluff than angst)

Cleaning at home was one of the things you did to get your mind off of things. Some people would call it tedious, but to you, it was sort of relaxing. It was something easy to do, you didn’t need much of your brain, just motor memory. Folding. Laundry. Ironing. Sweeping. Basic chores.

But when you clean up in the bedroom you shared with your boyfriend, and found a neatly wrapped present, red wrapping paper and blue ribbon tied on the top with a tag that said “To: Leila” you’re a little dumbfounded.

Who’s Leila? Is your first thought. Your second thought is, what’s inside? You hold the nicely wrapped box in your hand and turn it all over, trying to get some type of hint. A flash of doubt seeps into your mind but you shake it away. Albedo isn’t like that...Is he? He’s always so dedicated to his scientific research and sure he comes home late sometimes but he always makes it up to you on the weekends...

So who’s Leila? You ask yourself again. And why hasn’t he mentioned it to you? Why didn’t he ask YOU to wrap it? Menial tasks like these were usually passed on to you. You bite your thumb just thinking about it, but in the end just leave the present where you find it.

Later that night as you’re fixing dinner, you aren’t as bothered by the gift as when you first saw it. But it’s still there at the back of your mind and it resurfaces to the front when you hear the familiar keys rattle. Despite that, as he snakes his arms around your waist from behind you can’t help but smile and melt a little, pressing back against him as he leans over to kiss your cheek. “...Smells nice,” he simply mumbles and closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of both you and your home.

“Welcome back,” you say, while closing the lid on the pot and turning around to give him a proper kiss on the lips. He hums into the kiss as a response and pulls you away from the stove. “How’s your day?” he asks you first and you smile, because your day is nearly the same time and time again. “Fine, I did find a little secret though...” you start and peek up at his beautiful eyes.

He nods to ask you to continue. “A present, nicely wrapped. and it’s addressed to someone called Leila,” He looks down at you and you stare at him. A moment passes by before he takes his arms back and go into his thinking pose. “...Leila...?” he asks, eyes averting from your gaze. You wonder if he’s pretending. You wonder if he’s trying to make an excuse up. “...I don’t--” and then his eyebrows twitch. “Ah,” he says and drops his arms to his side.

“We were invited to a birthday party, remember? By a co-worker,” he tucks in strands of your hair as he talks. “It’s her daughter’s first birthday...I don’t care much for such things but you insisted it’d be alright to go.” he chuckles a little. “Her daughter’s name is Leila,”

You make a sound of understanding. Suddenly your hesitant thoughts wither away. “Hmmm? You could’ve asked me to wrap the present,” Albedo pulls away from you and towards the fridge, wanting a glass of water. “The wrapping wasn’t done by me, it was the shop, free service,” and so it made more sense.

And although you want to ask more questions, like where he got it, when and what’s inside, you realize it’s such a trivial thing. It was not worth that much time. A gift is a gift, and you turn back to continue making dinner while making idle conversation with him.

Zhongli (Warning: Suggestive) (but this is also my personal favourite... aha...)

“Zhongli?” You arrive home a little early today, dropping your keys at the front shelf. You don’t hear him anywhere and you shuffle around your living room for a while, looking at the letters for today.

He was on a work from home arrangement today, and he would usually be in his office. You were quite sure that he would’ve come out to greet you though, if he heard you. He must be busy at the moment.

You’d wanted to wash your hands as soon as you came home, and went for the guest washroom. When you open the door, your eyes land on something on the counter, next to the sink. This bathroom was always kept clean for visitors. You liked to host people once in a while, or just invite friends and you took pride in having them comfortable in your house.

Your eyes narrow as you go closer and your hands pick up a pregnancy test that was lying there.

It was positive.

You put it back down and shudder a little. You don’t remember getting a pregnancy test. You bite your lip and look at yourself in the mirror. You’re already jumping to conclusions, and you can’t help it. Who the hell would leave a pregnancy test in YOUR guest bathroom? Zhongli didn’t mention anything...

You sigh a breath out and close the bathroom door behind you, taking your phone out to text your best friend.

“There’s a positive pregnancy test in our guest bathroom,”

After a moment, there’s a reply.

“OMG Are you preggers?!”

“No, it’s not mine,”

The next reply takes a moment more. “Oh, maybe ask him?” and you know that your friend hadn’t known what to reply at that moment. Because a random positive pregnancy test in your guest bathroom was NOT a good sign. To top it off, you didn’t announce to Zhongli that you were coming home early today.

Your perk up when you hear noise from the other room. You open the bathroom door slightly, and hear the unmistakable low voice of your fiance, coupled with...the voice of another woman. You close the bathroom door again, not bothering to lock it, and sit on the closed toilet seat. You’re sitting there with nothing in your mind, unable to think.

A few minutes later the voices are louder, they’ve moved to the living room, right outside the bathroom you were in. You tense up, and your jaw tightens. You don’t want to see them. You don’t want to hear them. For a moment you wish that you didn’t come home early, and just pretend this didn’t happen, but the door to the bathroom door opens, leaving you eye to eye with a woman you recognize.

Luna was a beautiful woman. Long cascading brown hair, they’re wavy and stops right at her waist. Doll-like blue eyes and a slender body. She sees you sitting there and you feel stupid, but she just breaks into a grin. “Y/N!” she grabs you by the wrist and pulls you out of the bathroom before you could even say anything. You’re numb, so you don’t respond to anything around you.

Zhongli turns around wide-eyed to see you standing there meekly, not meeting his gaze. He still goes to you though and asks curiously. “When did you come in? I didn’t hear you,” he places a hand on your arm while Luna releases you, but you still don’t look up and he wonders if something happened at your workplace to make you come home so early. “Luna and Childe stopped by,” Zhongli says, in at attempt to cheer you up. You look up, and only then did you realize that Childe was there too, talking animatedly to Luna. You tilt your head sideways, “They came with a surprise. Ah, but it’s not mine to tell,”

That’s right... Luna and Childe had been together for a while and then it hits you when Luna shows you the same positive pregnancy test you saw on the counter, and announces that she’s pregnant. Your eyes are wide. You can’t tell if you’re more relieved that it wasn’t what you thought or more happy for your friends. You feel horrible about it but you manage to crack a smile and went along with the festivities. The more time passed the more you were able to enjoy their happiness and by the time they left, that was the only time you sighed and let your shoulders slump, exhausted.

“Is something the matter?” Zhongli asked. He noticed how your smiles were a tad bit forced. How you seemed to enjoy everything but also seemed to be on edge. You turn to him and shook your head. “It’s...stupid. It’s my mistake,” but he holds on to your waist and urges you to tell him.

And you tell him. How you came home and saw what you saw in the guest bathroom, what you thought it was and how you felt. The only thing you can feel now is embarrassment and shame. You couldn’t even feel happy for your friend. Zhongli only smiles and combs his hand through your hair. “It’s the normal reaction,” he reassures you, again trying to make you feel better. You only respond with your own hug but his next sentence makes you flustered, all thoughts of earlier gone as he whispers into your ear.

“Would you like your own positive pregnancy test?”

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#zhongli x reader #genshin angst #genshin fluff #zhongli angst #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #kaeya x reader #thoma x reader #kazuha x reader #albedo x reader #thoma angst #albedo fluff #childe angst #tartaglia angst

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thebadgerclan · 3 years

Text

That Would Be Enough

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x reader

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: Aleksander returns from the front to a big surprise...

A/N: Some lines are based on/taken from the song “That Would Be Enough” from Hamilton

You stood at the entrance to the Little Palace, black kefta fastened around your steadily growing belly. You were barely showing now, but it was plain to see to anyone that you were pregnant. The Healers said you were 3 months along, which put the conception of your child a few weeks before Aleksander had departed for the Fjerdan front for 12 weeks. But your husband had no clue about your pregnancy; you hadn’t told him in any of your letters, not wanting him to worry over you when he had far more important things to focus on, or rush home when his men needed him.

His black coach rolled up the drive, and you breathed deeply, pushing the nerves that you felt about your husband’s reaction down. Aleksander exited the coach, and your eyes found his, a smile on your face. But Aleksander’s eyes trailed down to your belly, disbelief on his face. He strode quickly to you, pulling you into a long, tight embrace. “Aleksander,” you whispered, your entire body feeling warm. “Sasha, I missed you so much.”

“Darling,” he said, pulling back so he could look at you as well as your belly. “Are you….?” “Pregnant?” you finished for him. “Yed, Aleksander, I’m pregnant. We’re having a baby!” You could tell he was happy, elated even, but his joy was overshadowed by the look of concern and slight disappointment. “How long have you known?” he asked, voice a bit strained. “3 months,” you said, and Aleksander’s eyes went wide.

“Y/N, you should have told me!” But you shook your head, taking his hands in yours. “You had bigger things to worry about-” “No-” “I didn’t want you rushing home for me.” “You should have told me,” he reiterated. “Maybe I should have, but I’m not sorry. I know you, Sasha, I know you’ll fight until this war is won. But you deserve a chance to meet our child. Look around, Aleksander. Look at how lucky we are to be alive right now.”

Aleksander shook his head, resting his forehead against yours. “Are you happy, Aleksander?” you asked, and your husband rushed to affirm it. “Happy? Y/N, I have never been happier than I have in my life. To have a child with you is the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I only wish you would have told me. I could have come home to you, my men were more than capable of handling things up north; I could have been here with you, I could have-”

“Sasha,” you cut him off. “Sweetheart, don’t. You were needed on the front, and I was perfectly fine here. I had Genya and the best Healers. Other than the morning sickness, I was perfectly fine. Well, that and finding waffles revolting.” Aleksander cringed, to know you were ill while he was away and that there was nothing he could have done. “But I’ll need you soon,” you continued. “When I start getting bigger and can’t move around as easily. When we start putting the baby’s room together. And I need you here when they’re born, Sasha.”

“Anything,” he said, clasping your hands firmly. “Anything you need, Y/N, you will have it. Saints, a baby.” That was when the worry crossed his mind, and his face crumpled. “Oh Saints, a baby. We’re having a baby. Y/N, I’m the general of the Second Army, I’m a target, our child could be a target, oh Saints, what have I-” “Aleksander,” you said, stopping his spiraling. “Look at me. I won’t pretend to know the challenges you face, but I am not afraid. I know who I married; a good, kind man who will go to the ends of the earth to protect his family.”

“I will,” he said, voice steely, and you knew he would raze the earth if it meant keeping you and your unborn child safe. “All I need is for you to be here with me, Aleksander. Stay here, stay home, with your wife and your baby. That would be enough.” Your husband nodded, pressing a kiss to your lips, hands moving from your belly to your face, bringing you closer to him. “Consider it done, my love. No more trips to the front. No more extended trips to military camps. Not for a long time.”

You knew that Aleksander would still have to travel on occasion, but you also knew that he meant what he’d just promised. You knew he wouldn’t travel to the Fjerdan or Shu Han border for years to come, you knew that week-long journeys were over for the time being. An overnight trip here and there, maybe, but you also knew they’d be far and few between. “I’m not going anywhere until our child can go with me,” he vowed, and you smiled against his lips. That, his promise to you and your child, would be enough.

Aleksander kissed you for a few minutes more before abruptly pulling back, dropping to his knees before you. He placed his hands on your belly, his grey eyes soft and brimming with love, a sweet smile on his face. “Hello, little one,” he said, face close to your bump. “Daddy loves you so much already. I promise you that I will always protect you and keep you safe. You will be the most loved, most cherished, and most adored child of Ravka. I promise, little one, I will always be here for you.”

Your husband pressed his lips to your bump, making your heart skip several beats. You rested your hands on his shoulders, and Aleksander rested his cheek against your belly. “In all my years, I have never been this happy,” he said, keeping his head on your bump. “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you for this incredible gift. I love you so much, and I love our child.” “I love you too, Aleksander, and I love our little one.” You carded a hand through his hair, smiling to yourself. Your husband was home, you were having a baby, everything in the world felt right. You were surrounded by love and happiness; and that was enough. More than enough, even.

#aleksander morozova x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #shadow and bone reader insert

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theinvisiblecapricorn · 3 years

Text

Surprise, surprise.

Author's note: This is my first ever written one shot. The inspiration popped into my head during my shower. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy

Fluffy one shot.

Part 1.

// Introduction //

A little info about Y/N and Vinnie.

So, you guys met during the first Covid lockdown.

You weren’t really seeing anyone of your friends during this time because you didn’t feel like taking any risks. So the only way for you to interact with anyone, was via social media. Before lockdown you also kind of give up on the idea of finding a lover because the last time you gave it a shot it didn’t work out.

You remember one of your best friends told you ‘’ Once you start focusing on yourself, it’ll come to you. ‘’ Well, what better way to focus on yourself other than during quarantine?

That’s when Vinnie came into the picture.

After many failed attempts of having a normal conversation with serval people, the last thing Vinnie expected was to meet someone like you. A lot of the time people tried to take advantage of the fact that he was famous. They would post his personal info on social media and share their conversations for clout. Just like you, Vinnie was kind of over the idea of meeting someone who would like him for his personality instead of his name.

You guys instantly clicked. It felt like talking to someone you’ve known your entire life. There wasn’t a thing you couldn’t share with another. But because the two of you lived in different time zones you couldn’t talk as much as you’d like, but you made it manageable. There was only one problem; traveling was not an option due to Covid, so the two of you had never seen each other in real life.

Until now…

// End of introduction //

Alex (Warren) set up his camera to make a video.

He clicked on record and looked into the camera.

‘’ So as you guys know, Vinnie and Y/N met online in the beginning of Covid, but they’ve never officially seen each other in real life. Now that traveling is allowed again and Vinnie hasn’t been feeling himself lately, I thought it was a good idea to surprise him. I bought y/n a plan ticket so she can come over and hopefully cheer Vinnie up. And I will document the entire journey. ‘’

// Vinnie’s POV //

It’s noon. I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone through TikTok. I haven’t heard from Y/N all day. Normally she would call me before going to bed herself, but she never did. I tried texting her but no reply.

Y/NNNN????

Yo bro, you there???

I miss your voiceeee

Please don’t be asleep already 

Pick up!!!!!! Or else I’m coming for you.

God, I wish I could just fly to wherever she was at and kiss her entire face. Because, yes, I am indeed in love with her, and she feels the same way about me. I just never thought I could recognize so much of myself in someone else. She’s the most kind, beautiful and loving person I know, and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms one day and never let go.

I’m starting to daydream about a life with y/n without the long distance, because it truly sucks. Then I hear a knock on the door and before I know it Alex comes rushing in with his camera in his hand.

( Vinnie & Alex )

‘’ Vinnie, say hello to everyone! ‘’

‘’ Hello everyone. Alex what do you want? ‘’

‘’ Why are you assuming I want something from you? ‘’

‘’ Because you only enter my room if you either have one of your crazy ideas to share or if you want me to get involved in something I probably shouldn’t get involved into. ‘’

‘’ Pfft, not true. My ideas aren’t crazy, they’re brilliant in their own way. ‘’

Alex grins at me. Suspiciously.

‘’ Anyways that’s not the point Vincent, I actually came in to see if you would join me to get some groceries because the only thing left are rise waffles and I’m starving. ‘’

Alex is blinking his eyes with the same grin he has had on from the moment he came into my room.

He’s not going to leave until I agree on coming. So before I know it, we’re on our way to the grocery store.

// Y/N’s POV //

I received a text from Alex a few weeks ago. He told me about his idea to surprise Vinnie. I couldn’t be more excited. Ever since Vinnie and I started talking I have pushed many of my personal boundaries. In a positive way. Vinnie has helped me regain trust in others and has showed me that love is real. I have lost my faith in love due to my previous experiences. That’s why the connection that I have with Vinnie is so important to me.

I have arrived at the airport as I turn on my phone. My phone starts to receive all the missed text messages and calls from Vinnie. I smile as I read through them.

‘’ Oh Vin, if only you knew ‘’ I think to myself.

I hear someone yelling my name behind me. As I turn around, I see Nailea running towards me.

Nailea is a close friend of Vinnie so of course she was the first to know about Vinnie’s contact with me. She’s been super kind to me, and I consider her as the sister I never had.

Nailea hugs me once she has approached me.

( Y/N & Nailea )

‘’ OH MY GOD. Girl, I am so happy that you’re finally hereeeee!!! ’’

I laugh as I see people around looking at us.

‘’ I am also very happy to be here. To finally meet everyone. For real. ‘’

‘’ Yea, now tell me, does my nose look bigger on the screen than in real life? ‘’

‘’ Hahaha, no Nai. You look fantastic on the screen and even better in real life. ‘’

Nailea and I take my stuff and walk out of the airport.

Once settled in the car, I receive a text from Alex:

We’re almost at the store. He hasn’t got a clue. See you there.

This is all a part of Alex his big plan. First, I will act like a regular costumer shopping at the same store as Vinnie and Alex. Then once they get back, Alex will distract Vinnie just a little longer, so he won’t notice me walking past the car right away. Brilliant.

// Vinnie’s POV //

Alex and I walk into the store.

‘’ Alright, what do we need? ‘’

‘’ Anything but rise waffles. ‘’

I shake my head, laughing, as I walk to the lemonade aisle.

Alex is taking out his camera and starts filming me from a far.

I start singing Paparazzi by Lady Gaga as I act like I'm hiding from him.

‘’ Oh, you should also take a few cans of coke. ‘’ Alex suggests.

As I walk towards the aisle with cans of lemonade, I notice a girl standing in front of it. Her hair instantly reminds me of Y/N. The exact same length, color and texture. Call me a simp, but I just pay a lot of attention to the girl I love. I slowly approach the girl before Alex attacks be by throwing a teddy bear on my head.

‘’ Hey, watch it! ‘’ I fix my hair.

‘’ Sorry man, I just know how much you like teddy bears. ‘’ Alex’s laughing out loud as he zooms in to my face.

I laugh, as I start to think back to the day Alex thought it would be funny to buy a giant teddy bear and have Patrick in it to scare me.

Just then, I notice the girl was gone. I didn’t see her anywhere else again.

After collecting all the stuff, we needed, we went home.

Once we arrived home, Alex stopped me before I opened my car door.

‘’ Let’s just sit here for a bit and talk about some stuff. ‘’ I stare at Alex with a confused look on my face.

‘’ Yea, because the viewers want to know, how are things going between you and Y/N? ‘’

I scratch the back of my neck and start feeling the heat take over my cheeks.

‘’ I mean, it’s hard sometimes. She’s one of the most important people in my life, yet I haven’t even met her in person. But I just know that once I do, that everything will naturally fall into it’s place. ‘’

Alex pouts as he listens to all the sweet things I have to say.

‘’ You really like her, don’t you? ‘’

‘’ I mean, yea I do. I really do. ‘’

‘’ Alright, so imagine her standing in front of you right now, what would you do? ‘’

I look at my hands as I start to imagine a situation like that.

‘’ Uh… If she was standing in front of me right now.. I would.. ‘’ My eyes scan a figure walking past the car and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

// Y/N’s POV //

Shit, I almost got caught. The plan was to go into the store, just to admire Vinnie from a far. I didn’t plan to stand in the exact aisle, where he needed to get something from. Luckily, Alex had a plan to distract Vinnie while I fled to the exit. Phew, that was close.

Alex texted me, saying they were on their way home. That’s when it hit me, I am going to be able to see, touch and kiss Vinnie for the first time ever. Nailea noticed my anxiety kicking in and she told me everything would be just fine.

It didn’t take long before Alex’s car pulled up on the driveway. Alex and Vinnie stayed in the car for a bit. My phone started buzzing as I read the notification: ‘’ Now!’’ That was my cue.

As nervous as one can be, I walked past the car with the person who’s the other half of my heart in it. I didn’t dare to look in his direction.

// Vinnie’s POV //

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This isn’t real right? Was I dreaming? I mean, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because I was worried sick due to Y/N not responding to me anymore.

I rub my eyes as I watch in the direction of the person again and there’s no way it couldn’t be her.

Then she turns her face into my direction and my heart starts pounding. There she is, the love of my life, the only person who can make my day just by popping up in my notifications, Y/N.

As I try to open my door, I hear Alex locking it.

‘’ Let me out! ‘’ I look at Alex as I try to unlock the door, but unable because he keeps his hand infront of the lock.

‘’ You haven’t answered my question yet. ‘’ Alex smirks at me, but I do not find it funny at all.

‘’ Please, let me out and I’ll show you what I would do if she were to stand in front of me ‘’

And with, I heard the door unlock. I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as I could to the person who I longed for the most.

Click here for part two;

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