#also really funny to be getting a lecture in my notes about fucked up things in fiction

[lesbiandarvey]

i’m getting lectured on purity culture and “fucked up things can exist in fiction” all because i said i was personally uncomfortable with something

[0tivez]

adrenalize

synopsis: a perfect student can get in toruble every now and then too, right? except this time, you get into trouble with your famous bachelor professor satoru gojo for an unorthodox reason, and he'll make sure you make up for it

characters: gojo

warnings: female reader, student reader x professor gojo, semi-public sex, age gap (early 20s to late 20s), oral (female + male receiving), very light power play, dub-con (maybe?), unprotected sex, degrading/praising, breeding. mdni

wc: 4.3k

note: yes, this is my dark fantasy of being accepted as a mean looking emo bitch. no, i'm not in love with my professor. emo sluts rise (emo=reader wears all black and has dark makeup lol sorry couldn't pull a wattpad) it's our time to have steamy office sex with 2d men. see the end for more notes!

you know, i don't really put in songs, but what the hell. this one's for the emos

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"oh, i have an appointment with professor gojo today" you tell your friend as you lay your lunch tray onto the table.

"for what?" she asks, her motion following yours. you two sit comfortably on the wooden chairs.

"i don't know. my grades, i guess? but my grades are fine, so i don't really know" you answer in confusion, and stab a big piece of chicken.

"well, i wish he would call me in his office"

"what?" you almost choke on your food. you look at your friend with big, dumb eyes. you wouldn't have been this surprised if she confessed to murdering someone, and you shouldn't be surprised at her confession either. yet somehow, you are.

"satoru's kinda hot, isn't he?" she responds, scrunching her nose. "he's also, like, extremely smart and funny"

"he's fucking old"

"um, no he's not? half of the school has bag of bones for professors, satoru's like... what, 30? i've fucked older"

"still, so inappropriate" you shut the conversation down. sure, you two had joked about how hot gojo is, and sure, the idea did entertain your mind, but it's between you two, a very private inside joke. you feel exposed this way, and the last thing you need is having that image of your professor in your mind as he lectures you about god knows what later today.

"i bet he fucks like his age too" she smirks across the table. you turn your head around anxiously to see if anyone's heard you two, but the loud cafeteria outweighs your little dirty convo.

"shut up!"

"girl you know damn well-"

"let's talk about this after i get scolded today. i don't want to worry about this man anymore"

it's 5.40 pm. where is he? he was supposed to meet you after class, yet he's nowhere to be found. and you're there standing in shame, as students pass you by, probably wondering what happened for you to be waiting like a stray kitten by his office.

of course, it's nothing to be ashamed of. god, you don't even know what you're supposed to be ashamed of yet! but here you are, cold sweat down your neck, hands nervously moving up and down your arms as you wait for time to pass.

that's how you are. quiet, nervous. yet most people have a different image of you; a colder, meaner image. it's difficult for you to socialize, so you stick to your two friends you made ages ago for your in-class interactions. for classes, you opt for quietly listening to your lectures rather than being interactive, even though you know it's not the right way, and you want to be social. that's why most professors rarely remember your name or your face- not that they're eager to know you anyways. that's why it's so confusing. what did you do to get called like this? how did he even know your name?

"ah- sorry for being late" gojo rushes next to you. his tall figure guides you to the narrow hallway where his office is hidden in. he quickly unlocks the door, and waits for you to enter first. "sit, i'll be back in a couple minutes" you nod.

once he turns around, you quickly observe his clothes. he always knew how to be stylish, even though his clothes are always basic. you figured it must be his fit figure that makes anything he wears compliment him. he's always clean and rich looking; never would he wear a wrinkled shirt. the female students would anticipate warm weathers, where gojo would sometimes wear a tight, black t-shirt and jeans. not today tho. although the weather is warm, he's wearing a light blue linen shirt with black jeans, complimented with a thick, leather belt. his shirt exposed his contoured collarbones, and arms exposed with an expensive looking watch to complete the look. and his face... god, his face.

he shuts the door behind you. you're left for your own thoughts. sitting down is uncomfortable for you, the only thing you can hear is your heartbeat. the building is empty, you can faintly hear students speaking from outside. you get up, and look around his office. it's filled with thick, leather covered books. interesting, you wouldn't assume he's into reading by looking at him, or hearing him speak. it must be professional deformation. papers are scattered around on his desk. everywhere else except for his desk is tidied and clean, but his desk is a warzone.

the door opens.

"hi, hello, sorry for making you wait. hope you didn't miss me too much" gojo paces toward his desk.

you shake your head. "it's alright, you must be very busy"

gojo stands over his desk and gathers some papers in his hand and puts them aside. "well, it is difficult to be the fun one in this department, y'know?" his blue eyes focus on yours for a moment, as he waits for a reaction from you. you chuckle in response.

gojo pulls out a paper from the batch and sits down. he raises the paper and looks at you. he calls your name. "correct?"

just the way he said your name sends chills down your spine. god, in that moment, you truly wish you would be more active in class, only to hear him call your name.

"correct"

he reads the paper quickly without putting it down. he looks like a kid doing it, yet you feel as if you were in front of a judge.

"so, interesting. you know your grade, right?" you nod.

"i-is there a problem? i thought i did good"

"oh, you did, definitely. this paper is very impressive. i enjoyed reading it." he smiles at you. "the only problem was, i had no idea whose paper i was reading the whole time"

you sit there silently. where was he heading at? he didn't call you in just to tell you to be more active in class, right?

"i mean i did know, i know how to read, but there wasn't a face you know? our class is pretty small, so i know most people. but you, who are you?"

"excuse me?" you manage to let out.

"you don't speak much in class, don't talk to anyone else in class, yet you never skip a class. and then boom! you write out this paper"

"am- am i being accused of something, sir?"

gojo looks amused. he grins, and rests on his back, crossing his arms. his muscles show up, is he trying to look intimidating? is he trying to get a confession out of you? cheating? stealing?

"no, nothing at all. i'm just curious. it's important that i know my pupils. talking to strangers affect my performance too"

"i- guess i'm more of a listener" you feel so small in front of him. this is embarrassing.

gojo gets up and walks to the chair across you.

"but you see, you don't look friendly either."

"wha-"

"i remember seeing you in class and thinking 'wow, she really doesn't wanna be here' which is new to me, cause i'm fun!" now you're sure he must be offended or something.

"sir, if that's the issue, i'll be more active from now on" you just want to leave. whatever it takes, leave.

"but why?" he ignores your suggestion. "why hate being with me?" gojo leans in to be closer to you. his long legs and big body help him be closer to you, despite the small coffee table separating you two.

"there's not a reason, sir. i don't hate-"

"i'm used to being popular among female students, y'know?"

this time, it's your turn to giggle.

"i'm sorry, is this what it's been about? you're offended that i'm not attracted to you?" lie. you're crazy for him. maybe that's why you're extra shy around him. but somehow, a wave of confidence washes over you in this moment. maybe it's the sincerity of him, maybe it's the ridiculousness of the situation. but whatever it is, it made you get a fiendish chuckle from your professor.

"it just doesn't happen. do you hate me? did i do something to you?"

"no, sir, i'm just a shy person"

"why the face?" he points at his own face, and makes a sulky face that you think is supposed to be mimicking your face.

you shrug your shoulders and smile in disbelief. "it's just my face! sir, if it matters to you, i think you're great. i enjoy your lectures, and i promise i'll be more active from now on" you wave your hands and get up to leave. gojo follows after you.

he lays a hand on your shoulder to keep you still.

"that's not it, is it? you missed something"

"e-excuse me?" what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

"tell me i'm handsome" gojo looks into your eyes. his piercing gaze makes you freeze in place. his face is too close to yours, you feel even more embarrassed to know he can see you blushing.

"t-that's not very appro-"

"oh come on! i know you want to say it" he smiles.

hypocrite.

you are a hypocrite. if this was any other person, you would have been scared shitless. yet here you are; heart beating fast, empty minded, an uncomfortable wetness growing stronger.

the sexual tension is so strong. you feel nervous, whatever you say will break the tension or make it reach its breaking point. and you don't know which one you prefer.

you stay silent.

gojo looks into your big eyes, face so close that you wonder if he'll kiss you anytime soon.

"if you're not gonna admit, i'll help you with it" he steps back. "sit on the desk" he orders, voice dark and strong. you stand in disbelief. gojo walks over to his desk while slowly taking off his watch. "you comin' or not?"

you walk over to his desk and sit obediently. your legs are closed, your nervousness can be read from your posture.

"don't be shy, you're in good hands" gojo suddenly kneels and places his palms on your knees. he looks up at you with puppy eyes. "may i?"

you bite the inside of your cheeks and nod. you unbutton your pants and rest your palms next to you. satoru grabs the hem of your baggy jeans. you lift yourself as satoru easily takes your jeans off. your baby pink, cotton panties are exposed in a comical way. satoru laughs at the contrast; your heavy and dark makeup, resting bitch face, and all black clothes hide pretty pink underwear under it. and satoru feels like one hell of a lucky man to be able to witness this.

satoru slides his hand in between your legs and lightly separates them, exposing your sopping panties. satoru's delighted to see you as excited as him. after all, you seemed scared at first.

his soft, juicy lips lay soft kisses all across your plump skin as he makes his way up to your panties. his demeanor suddenly changes, and he rips your panties beastly. one hand lowers your body further to reveal your folds better. satoru doesn't wait another second.

gojo licks your folds, all the way from your hole to cilit. his tongue masterfully dances around the delicate skin, and runs around your clit. your shy moans fill the office room. you cherish the view below you. his broad shoulders are about to rip through his expensive shirt, white hair buried between your legs, long fingers gripping your legs firmly. he plants a firm kiss on top of your clit that makes you shiver. he sucks on the delicate skin and leaves it with a tiny plop sound. he continues untill you're a moaning mess. and god, you hate to admit this, but she was right. he knows how to fuck good.

"gosh, do you do this to all of your students?" the sudden adrenaline rush takes over you, but the embarrassment follows quickly after. for a second, you're scared he'll get mad and stop, but he doesn't.

"i don't. but don't think you'll be my favorite student after this or something" he looks at you with half lidded eyes.

his warm tongue fucks your wet hole until you feel weak in your knees. you wonder how good his cock feels if he can entertain you this much with his tongue. his tongue pushes inside your hole, letting your sweet juices roll down to his throat. he's so amused at how much you're enjoying yourself, it makes his excitement only grow harder. in a few seconds, he'll fuck you till you can't walk out his office.

"s-sir!" you squirm with his touch.

"yes?" he looks up in a mischievious manner and makes gesture at you, as if you were raising a hand to speak. you roll your head back and laugh before grabbing his hair and pushing him back in.

satoru lays a flat tongue on your clit. the pressure is enough to make your legs twitch. he holds himself there for a moment, waiting for your to beg for more. and you do, you really do.

satoru runs his tongue up and down on your clit, making the pointy tip of his tongue push the skin further as he runs his tongue back up with each lap. the pointy tip draws circles around your clit, around and around. god, he feels so good. he might even cum if he continues more. it's the first time he's ever felt so good giving head to someone. your helpless little squeaks, your shy face and confident hand buried in his hair...

knock knock

you quickly turn around to face the door

"professor gojo? i brought the books" a male voice calls. "can i come in?"

gojo gets up with a sinical smirk on his face, and gently pushes you by your back down.

"give me a second!" he shouts at the door as he takes off his belt and lays it under the desk. he sits down on his chair and calls you down with his two fingers. you instantly obey, kneeling down to his knee level. gojo pushes his chair further under the desk so that you can't be seen. you quickly unbutton his jeans before gojo calls the man inside.

you grab the hem of his underwear and push it down to expose his hard cock. it's dark, your view is limited, but you make the best of it. you hear footsteps get closer, so you hold your breath. you hesitate, you're terrified of getting caught.

"so, about tomorrow's meeting..." a faint voice fills your surroundings. your heart beats fast, and your hands shakily grab his tip.

gojo's surprised at this hesitation. maybe you really do need some help after all. he pretends to listen to what the man is yammering away about. he sneaks his hand down to table and cautiously pushes your head to mouth his length. the sudden push startles you, but it gives you the push you needed.

once gojo's palm leaves your head, you start slowly taking in his dick. you hear him exhale casually, before he responds to the man. he's big, so it takes you a while to fully take him inside. you pull your head back, and lick along his cock.

"...so i figured we would go with another plan..." gojo continues. once you swirl your tongue around his tip, licking the thick precum, finally getting a taste of him. you hear his voice shake for a second. satoru pretends to cough. he must be sensitive on his tip, you figure, and focus on teasing his tip.

you start rubbing his length where your mouth can't reach. every time you release his cock, you quickly swirly your tongue on his tip so that he shakes slightly, making him shift in his chair to not expose your affair to the clueless man. you repeat: suck, pump, release, twirl. suck, pump, release, twi-

satoru spasms on his chair once again as your tongue touches his tip. you think he's cumming for a moment, but those thoughts disappear once you feel a strong hand grab you by your hair, pulling you away from his cock.

"see you tomorrow, satoru" the man says before he leaves the room. with the door closing, satoru pulls back. in a moment, you find yourself picked up like a cat and sat on the table.

"you think you're funny?" gojo growls. "teasing me like that? in front of my colleague?" his eyebrows are furrowed and jaw is clenched. he looks terrifying.

"i-i thought you wanted me to-"

"getting spoiled, hm? do you need to be disciplined?" it's almost as if gojo was searching for a reason to be mad at you, to fuck you like you mean nothing to him.

before you could respond, gojo discards your crop top and leaves you bare chested and cold. satoru can't decide whether the twitching of his dick is caused by the shock of you not wearing a bra to meet your professor or how arousing your perky, plump tits look in front of him. whatever it is, it's enough to make his beasty look go darker.

gojo hisses with what feels like frustration. he wants you, he wants you now, and he cannot waste another second. in a moment, you're pressed down onto the desk, on your chest with two strong hands pulling your ass up high. the wooden desk is warm, yet the hotness of your body combined with the cooler desk makes your body shiver. it doesn't help that gojo's teasing your entrance with his tip either. you whine under his touch, signaling him to go further in. he's amused at your neediness. you want to use your words, but you end up only being able to whine and groan. it's cute, adorable. satoru wonders how you'd be once he's done with you.

"what should i do?" gojo teases. he places his tip in your entrance, only for your hole to stretch enough to take the head in. the feeling is overwhelming even now, and you know it will hurt once he fully inserts himself.

well, they don't say curiosity kills the cat for no reason.

"p-please, f-fuck..." you whisper, tears pooling in your eyes slowly as frustration and tension grow bigger.

"hm? what was that?" gojo leans in closer to your face, making his cock enter a little more. you whimper with the new feeling. it's more painful, yet somehow very intimate.

"p-please..." you quietly respond again.

"we talked this through. speak up, don't be shy!"

you squeeze the papers scattered on the table, trying to from words, but your mind is blank.

"embarrassed? if it helps, princess, no one can hear you" gojo whispers. the irony. gojo satoru, the nonchalant extrovert that warns you in a craven tone; and you, the shy, anxious little girl, soon screaming your lungs out, begging him to fuck you.

"god, just fuck me!" you scream. it's the start gojo needed, and finally, he can unleash himself into you.

gojo slides his length inside without waiting for you to adjust to him fully. your walls stretch and shrink within a second, as he pulls himself almost completely before entering himself fully once again. your wet hole takes him fully, squeezing every inch of his thick cock. your walm, velvety walls make gojo dizzy with pleasure. his voice switches from manly groans to helpless whimpers. and you, gosh, you're a complete mess. your hair falls over your face, but you're too busy getting railed into oblivion to pick it up. you helplessly grab the edges of the desk in an attempt to gather yourself, but it's no use. the only thing you can do is scream out his name, the only thing you can think of.

"fuck..." gojo hisses into your ear. he grabs a fistful of your hair, finally opening your face. he grabs you closer to his chest and holds you in position by your throat as he uses his other hand to help you catch the rhythm of his thrusts. your back instantly arches, and you need to hold on to his tighs to not fall off. you gasp for breath as he mercilessly pounds into you behind your back. the slapping sounds are too far away from you. your vision gets blurry. it feels good, it shouldn't feel good, but it does. he moves as if he wants to hurt you, to take revenge. he's ruthless, contrary to how softly he kissed your cunt and how sweet he called your name earlier.

"yeah? feels good, hm?" gojo turns your face to his. your wet eyelashes, red cheeks wet with tears, mouth shiny with saliva... what a view he had. and him; his white hair always perfectly in place is now all over his forehead, sweat glistening his long neck, and tight muscles showing under the thin fabric of his shirt. and his eyes... his eyes screaming wildly, violently; yet his gaze is soft and caring. gojo realizes too, as he loosens his grip on your neck, and slows down his tempo. you inhale, cheeks puffed up and head slightly tilted back. gojo takes advantage of the vulnerability of the moment. satoru's soft lips lock with yours in a passionate kiss. he holds your chin in place, and you help him by grabbing his wrist. his tongue dances over yours, and all over your lips. wetness covers your lips. it's messy, you both miss your lips as satoru continues thrusting, but it's more romantic this way. you're both craving each other, something neither of you had realized before this exact moment. your heart beats even faster for a second, as you want to be like this forever. even with his most violent desire, he's so caring and romantic. you know it's all meaningless, that none of these matter, and that your affair will meet its end once he decides he's had enough. so you want to be in this moment forever.

"don't stop" you breathe in his mouth and look into his eyes. satoru's cock twitches inside you, his pace slows down. he slips himself out. did you say something wrong? did he realize what he's doing?

you look at him, confused. satoru's face is impossible to read, he just stands there looking at you. the sudden silence makes you anxious once again. you back up and hit your leg into the desk.

satoru grabs you by your leg as you almost lose your balance. he gently pushes you down by your shoulders and sits you down. he lowers his body before grabbing your knees and making you wrap them around his hips. he unbuttons his shirt but doesn't take it off. his toned abs are finally exposed. you examine every curve on his body, his chest.

satoru locks his lips with yours again. he's softer now. it's like he's known you since forever, like his tongue knows how it's supposed to move inside your mouth. this time, you don't shiver, but a warmness follows down your spine. you cusp his cheek as you deepen the kiss.

there you are, warm light framing your bodies under the sunset, bodies locked. where you end is where satoru begins. your bodies move in harmony. he gently rolls his hips into you, and you lift your hips to meet his. not leaving each others' embrace for a second. what happened so suddenly? is this the beast you were so scared of?

"yes... yes..." you moan into his mouth.

"yeah? you like it, baby?" he asks with a soft voice. you move your head and bury it into his neck. you grab his broad shoulders under his shirt tightly, making sure you're gentle. but you can't help it, you're about to snap. you dig your nails into his skin. he pants and moans into your ear. his voice gets shaky, he sounds so pathetically needy. you realize he needs you as much as you need him.

satoru holds you closer to his chest and embraces you as he fucks through your climax. his steady pace strengthens the tightness down your abdomen. you feel the tingling travel all over your body, as you beg satoru to continue.

"you close, baby? want me to finish inside you, hm?" he asks with a raspy voice. he already knows the answer.

"sa-satoru..." you breathe into his skin.

"look into my eyes" he calls your name. "fuck, look at my eyes"

you tilt your head and meet his glassy, baby blue eyes. he looks so vulnerable in this moment. satoru kisses you once more before he rests his forehead onto yours. his steady pace doesn't change, as you both wait to reach the end.

the knot inside your body tightens and tightens, until it's impossible to stand it. your body spasms under him, and you can only call out his name.

"satoru!" you squirm, not leaving his touch for a second.

"come on baby, cum for me" he pants. "my pretty little girl, you're doing so good"

you let out one last shaky breath and lose control. you shake and spasm, but satoru holds you tightly in place. he rides your climax, as he chases his own. he plants soft kisses all over your face as you lose your mind. your whole body's tingly, mind fuzzy, and numb. you stay there, watching satoru's breath get faster.

you grab both of his cheeks and look into his eyes. you don't look away or move, you hold him in place. his shiny eyes look into yours, amazed at how beautiful you are, how pretty you are for him. and how you're his, in this moment, he's yours.

satoru moves hips further once more before his thrusts stop. his moves come to a full stop. he doesn't avert his gaze, as he slaps his hips into you once more. the warmness washes over you as he empties himself deep inside you. satoru whispers your name, followed by a shaky moan. he stands still for a second, lets his cock rest inside you for a moment as you both stand in silent. he's lost in your embrace, and so are you.

all your anxieties from earlier wash away. he's right, he definitely made sure you like him. and all the papers you ruined, the ones he's supposed to show his students, he will have to think about later.

"you really are very handsome"

gojo's comeback might have taken shorter than mine, but hey, better late than never right? lol anyways, sorry for the long wait and sorry, this isn't the unboxing smut. i suddenly felt the urge to write another jjk teacher/student fic but it's a little more legal now at least. i'm also obsessed with gojo again. hope you enjoyed your meal! (ok but why do my snopsises lowkey eat harder than the fic itself)

this was... easier than i thought it would be. i missed writing so much and haven't felt this much fun and ease writing anything in such a long time! i'm so excited for jjk season 2 and the manga's progress. i think this is another jjk summer yall. also, i'm doing an unofficial internship this summer! so, since i like being active when i'm busy with daily life stuff, who knows, i might become active again

hope you guys liked it! see you next time you horny emo slut ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

[p1nk-matter]

shiggy fluff cause he deserves all the love // inspired by @aslutforfictionalmen's post (here's my interpretation, i also spontaneously wrote this @/3am so his quirk may have been erased not his trauma tho)

‘’There is no reason to be wearing that.’’ You laugh as you look at him.

Tenko in a suit has to be the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. ‘’It's just a drive-in movie theater.’’ You tease and he scoffs.

‘’Yeah well I can’t win, can I? Tracksuits are too casual, I remind you of a busker, remember? And what’s wrong with that by the way, you wish you had their talent–’’

‘’Enough, we’re running late.’’ You cut him off but can’t hide your smile when he’s all annoyed lecturing you in a fucking suit.

The movie chosen was cliché, borderline comical especially when you’re accompanied by a tall man with questionable appearance. How you even convinced him to join you is beyond comprehension, most likely because you promised him to play Nintendo Switch, his latest obsession. You’d play with him regardless, a man with a childhood lost, robbed from things you experienced firsthand at a younger age but Tenko couldn’t really see it. You on the other hand recognized it, and through small acts (annoying as such because for some inexplicable reason he always lost to you) you showed him everything he’d missed.

‘’I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year!’’

Ryan Gosling says as you feel a hand squeeze yours tightly, shoulders touching as the night sky glows above the projector. You turn to look at him confused, The Notebook was one of those films you’d seen a million times, failing to evoke powerful emotions after some time but it was still a very satisfying rewatch. Tenko turns his head.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ You say, anxious he might be having another panic attack. You knew how to calm him down but never the extent of it and that scared you.

‘’It’s nothing’’ He whispers, his voice is composed, you note, good.

‘’Yes... it wasn't over, it still isn't over..’’ Gosling continues.

‘’Can you believe he wrote to her all this time? This is so fucking cruel!’’ he almost shouts, as a couple of heads turn to look at him annoyed.

‘’Oh my god, are you crying over the movie right now?’’ You want to burst out laughing but the stares warn you otherwise, both your tones too loud. You can’t believe what a sucker for romance he is, he always acts all tough but ends up being hungry for love anywhere he can find it. You kind of get it, it also kind of breaks your heart.

‘’I’m so posting this.’’ You tease as he wipes his eyes clean with a tissue he had in his pocket.

‘’I swear to god if you don’t shut the fuck up.’’ His voice is shaky but his eyes are glued to the scene, anxious for what’s coming next. Will they make up? Maybe even make out, have sex? Poor him, he’s unprepared for the bittersweet end.

-

The drive back home is silent, you take it he’s still thinking about the film, contemplating its ending, unsure whether he likes it or not.

‘’Sooo.. did you like it?’’

‘’It was okay.’’ He feigns indifference and you don’t continue. You allow him to ponder before speaking up, he almost always adds something on his own.

‘’I just think it’s funny she married the other guy, you know.’’ He says.

‘’What was she supposed to do? She didn’t know about the letters, remember?’’

‘’Still, if she really loved him, she should’ve waited, should’ve been alone, grieved on her own. How could she do this?’’ He asks as you sigh.

‘’It’s just a film and people make mistakes. You never know until you tell them.’’

This time he doesn’t continue.

-

‘’So what do you want to do?’’ You ask once you’ve arrived home, it’s already past midnight but both of you are too lively for sleep.

‘’You promised Nintendo.’’ He reminds you and you sigh. Not your favorite part of the day but you silently take a seat next to him on the couch.

3 rounds of Mario Kart racing on the Nintendo Switch and Tenko is losing consecutively as he whines frustrated: ‘’Enough!’’

‘’I just don’t understand why you’re always losing.’’ You tell him, as far as you know he was unlocking the game levels with ease on his own.

‘’I don’t know, shit, you ask way too many questions today’’ he complains, ‘’I’ll go change, this suit is itching the fuck out of me’’ he continues as you get up.

He finds you scrolling on your phone, a towel wrapped around him, droplets falling from his hair, which he must’ve aggressively ruffled (in failed efforts to dry) as he literally drops his body onto yours, scaring you and making you drop your phone.

‘’Tenko, fuck agh!’’ You groan, ‘’my phone!’’

He was so annoying and on top of that soaking your shirt too.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ He smiles, he wasn’t really sorry, he missed you, he thought. Even though you were together the whole day, he still missed you. So much. He couldn’t get enough of you, any moment shared only made him more anxious for your next departure, he wished he could somehow glue you to his skin forever.

You playfully slapped his arm and he retaliated, pinching your nose as you pouted.

‘’Don’t pout.’’ He warns, ‘’I'll bite you.’’ But you don’t listen. He brings his mouth to yours as his teeth sink in your lower lip, pulling at it and letting it out softly.

‘’Ouch, you douche!’’ You fake pain but he knows he didn’t actually hurt you, he could never.

There was a moment where neither of you did anything, must’ve been less than a minute, before he leaned closer, mouths in close proximity as he noticed your eyes shut.

I want to kiss her, he thought and he did. Soft lips brought to yours, as you immediately kissed him back, cupping his wet neck and bringing his face even closer, deepening the kiss. His arms quivered, threatening to make him lose his balance and fall on top of you, he lost himself every time you kissed him.

His hand slid down your waist, positioning you higher on the couch as your hungry mouth searched for his again, needy breaths escaped your lips, a sight that made him feel the all too familiar pain in his groin, a towel was still draped around him and you were still in your outside clothes.

A peak across the room showed him the window curtains open.

‘’Give me a minute, baby.’’ He said as he got up to close them, returning to you with his arms stretched out, ready to move this somewhere more comfortable.

–

He was awakened by an asleep arm, your weight had fallen on it and he felt numb.

He gently tried to remove it but you moved around and whispered in a raspy voice, god, how much he loved that voice.

‘’What is it?’’ Your tone sounded anxious, were you afraid something was going to happen to him? Could it be that you cared that much?

Without a word he shushed you.

‘’It’s all right, go back to sleep.’’ He said moments later, a pain in his chest since he couldn’t tell you that actually yes, there was something on his mind.

‘’You know, you have to tell people how you feel, remember?’ You spoke so wisely, even after an interrupted slumber and he couldn't help but smile.

‘’I know baby, goodnight.’’ He said as you sighed and turned around.

For Tenko could not tell you that nothing compared to this, nothing like doing nothing with you and to admit this to himself was a big liability. He would tell you eventually, maybe he’d write it down, he found it easier, but on that day he chose to wrap his arms around you again, risking numbness, than to speak the words.

[gor3-hound]

NYYYYYYXXXXX!!!!!! HAIIIII HRUU :3! bless ur soul for putting up with my nonsensical yapping.. i love ur inputs<3 & NEW BOTS WOOO thank you for these gracious meals😋

AND I WAS THINKING (here we go again LMAO)..RE2 LEON AS A LOSER COLLEGE CLASSMATE. he’s a loner. kinda nerdy, not that talkative. sits in the back of any room. poor baby is too shy to make a conversation w anyone, & when/if he does, nobody’s listening/thinks his input is weird/is talking over him so he jus gives up on trying 2 make friends & just decides to focus on his studies (◞‸◟)

until popular!reader comes along & makes the effort to get to know Leon by sitting next to him. bro is baffled! but shes popular for a reason; so sweet & considerate, funny—cute! it’s the most attention that anybody has ever given him & he gets so drunk off of her mere presence that he just can’t help getting a little crush on her!

but then that quickly develops into an unhealthy obsession; “accidentally” bumping into her “randomly”, rubbing himself to pictures of her, attached to her by the hip! her bf doesn’t like him for being so touchy, so he kinda beats Leon up :(… a lesson is NOT learned bc Leon complains to reader abt his boo-boos, & she tells her bf off. seeing this, Leon tells her lies abt her bf & she believes him always bc Leon is nothing but an angel! 

bro has a whole wall dedicated to her. photos of her w her friends (who r etched out/cut out), her walking around campus, etc. mf collects her chewed-up pencils & forgotten hairties (bonus if they have strands on them) & and disposed gum-wrappers like they’re ancient artifacts. occasionally takes her empty/half-full waterbottles and licks & kisses the lip to pretend he’s making out with her. typically results in him whimpering her name while humping a pillow… yeah he’s pathetic, but she’s none the wiser!…. do u see my vision….

-🍼

🍼anon i'm literally on my knees asking for your hand in marriage because i love love LOOOVE creep/perv re2 leon :3 pls yap in my inbox forever bcs your ideas are so juicy and make me scream!! BUT HIII!!! i'm good !! hruuu?

but omg ofc i see the vision!! he's so sweet at first, just happy to have a friend. but reader is the only one who's ever treated him like this, and his innocent crush is so quick to become an obsession. the water bottle thing had me SCREAMING like ughhhh.

reader is so oblivious. leon is so unassuming and like... no one cares about him, so they don't notice when he slinks away at the beginning of the lecture with reader's room key... oops. he gets himself some souvenirs(aka used panties...) but he's also *such* a gentleman that he doesn't just care about that. he's also taking note of stuff like the shower gel n shampoo she uses so he can get the same ones as reader to feel closer to her :33

bonus points if he snaps one day. after she tells her bf off, her bf gets really fucking defensive about HIS girlfriend. every time leon walks into the room, he's pulling her in for a kiss - not just a peck, but like... a sloppy makeout sesh. leon ends up being like 'hi i wanna say sorry for how i've acted... come w me'. except he's not sorry at all (duh) and he gets rid of her boyfriend once and for all.

of course, he's the one to comfort reader when she's completely distraught at her bfs 'disappearance'. he lets her into his dorm room and cuddles her while being all sweet, using her emotional vulnerability to coax reader into letting him touch her. he's got her right where he wants her now. and if her friends start to catch on? he's got no problem disposing of them, too.

[rowdyhughesy]

i saw you were taking requests, so i have one (:

maybe like, jack gets down on one knee and asks y/n to be his fake date for a wedding he has to attend?

Cats and Wedding dates - J.Hughes

Thinking about doing a part 2, let me know what u guys think!

Jack was completely freaking out, with all the stress from the season he had forgotten about one of his family friends wedding. He’s known about it for months but it still slipped his mind and with forgetting about it he also forgot about getting a date.

Pacing back and forth in Nico’s living room he’s running his hands through his hair. “Jack calm down its not life or death if you don’t have a date.” The devils captain laughs from his place on the couch. Watching one of his best friends stressing over a wedding is slightly amusing. He knows that Jack could get a date in two seconds if he wanted to so what’s the problem?

“No but yes! I’ve already told everyone I’m taking a date and if I don’t bring one they’ll all know I forgot about it and then mom will lecture me.” Stopping in his tracks Jack let’s out a noise between a whine and a laugh. He doesn’t even have a suit. Or a present. Fuck.

Scrambling to gather all of his belongings Jack rushes out of the apartment. Yelling about how he needs to go as he runs out. Nico blinks in bewilderment at what just occurred in front of him but decides that he doesn’t even want to know.

Walking down the streets of downtown New Jersey Jack has the suit bag thrown over his shoulder, music blasting in his headphones as he’s in his own world.

Suit? Check

Present? Nope

Date? Absolutely not

Stopping outside of some fancy gift store he ponders for a moment before going inside. Surely they must have something for the couple. The strong smell of vanilla and cinnamon hits his nose and Jack pulls the headphones of in case he needs to ask for help. Which he probably will because he has no idea what to buy.

The store is small but cozy and filled with small unique Knick knacks, candles, porcelain and what looks like some type of fancy candies. It feels like a store his mom would love, he takes a mental note to bring her next time they’re in Jersey.

Suddenly Jack feels a presence by his feet grabbing his attention, looking down he’s met with the sight of a cat that resembles a fluff ball. He’s never been much of a cat person but having those blue eyes staring at him Jack can’t resist squatting down and petting the light fur. The cat lets out a small meow, stroking it’s head against the palm of his hand. “What’s your name huh? Cute lil buddy.” Jacks voice is soft as he continues petting the animal, the cat purring in answer.

“I see that Dude has made a new friend.” The unknown female voice makes Jack freeze in place. Hand still in the air he turns his head. A girl dressed in a white long sleeve, black overalls and converse stands above him. A huge smile on her face as she looks down at the boy and cat. “His name is dude?” Jack laughs turning his attention back to the cat. “Hey there Dude. I don’t really like cats but you seem cool.” The girl let’s out a snort at him telling Dude that he doesn’t like cats.

“Is he yours?” Jack stands up from his previous position, he notices that the girl is about a head shorter than him making him tower over her. “Yep, been my partner in crime the last three years.” She bends down picking up Dude in her arms. He seems content with it as he starts rubbing his face against the exposed skin of her neck.

“How did you come up with the name dude?”

“I tried about 100 names and one day I got frustrated and yelled come on dude at him and it was the only thing he reacted too.” The admission earning a loud laugh from the hockey player.

“I’m Jack by the way.” She takes his outstretched hand and he misses the warmth of her skin as soon as she lets go. “I’m Y/N, nice to meet you Jack.”

The two stand there for almost an hour just talking and Y/N helping him find a present for the wedding. It’s easy to talk to the store owner, she’s sarcastic and funny. Like a breath of fresh air after a thunderstorm. Maybe she could be his date? She seems like the type to help a person out and they just met so if she says no he won’t die of embarrassment.

Deciding to take caution to the wind Jack takes a deep breath he goes down on one knee as Y/N has her back to him wrapping the present on the counter. A noise of surprise rises from her throat when she notices this almost stranger down on the floor. “What is going on?” Y/N flicks her gaze between Jack and Dude who is sitting next to the male staring at him with confusion. Or at least as confused as a cat can look.

“This might sound crazy but Y/N will you please be my date to the wedding? I told everyone I would bring a date and I don’t have one, I’ll owe you a favour.” She thinks about it before loudly laughing. Jacks face burns from embarrassment, certain that she’ll reject him. Then a beaming smile spreads across her lips and Jack feels like he can breath again.

“Yeah Jack I’ll gladly be your date to the wedding. Do you have any purple ties?”

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Longass for the nights and days of life Chapter Eight RAGE Notes

I had a LOT of strong opinions on this one, babes. Oh ho boy it’s time. 

-I thought the Olangi were absorbed into the Omaticaya and not other plains clans, I wonder if there’s a particular reason they weren’t in this fic… I'm always suspicious of every decision Lottie makes.

-Tonowari getting an invite to this gathering from Jake: nah.

-Listened to Cover Me In Sunshine on repeat reading this. That’s what Spider and Ninat were singing, I don’t make the rules. 

-Jake fighting the English innuendo has to be every Na’vi hearing him speaking Na’vi every day. He has to be fucking it up in a way that makes it dirty some of the time.

-The heard stuff has me like, on the edge, I think it means some shit.

-The absolutely hilarious idea of Jake and Neytiri keeping maskless-only-human-left Spider around and thinking no one is gonna question it is so fucking funny to me. I also love them keeping their GOD CHILDREN secret. EYWA IS THEIR GOD WHO IS GOING AGAINST THIS? Like, if literally God blessed me with kids in an obvious miracle way to people that all super believe in God I’d be like, so this happened. Crazy right? Anyway- I also love that they didn’t discuss it beforehand, like they just figured it’d all be literally fine. They are so goofy and fucking stupid as fuck.

-Spider giving Neteyam bits of fruit makes me want to die! That’s aDORABLE! He is a PROTECTIVE older brother. They are not going to survive his kidnapping.

-Neytiri really came for Neteyam’s ass with that intro. "Here is my brave, cool, son, and my loser son who can't say hi."

-Ah, it’s because the Olangi are our dissenters it seems. I also really like this idea of an anniversary mourning period, I haven’t seen that yet. Every time I see a new idea in this fandom I get hard as a rock (figuratively), like I didn't even tHINK of this concept and I thought we were running out of new ideas.

-Love Jake public speaking king. I always forget he is a natural born leader and speaker.

-We love an Eytukan spirit tree moment. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, he may be the character that means the least to me.

-For some reason I cackled at Jake “the fire is too hot on my legs, Neytiri!” Sully.

-INFORMATIVE AND EYEOPENING IS THE WORST THING TO SAY EVER ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WASN’T A FULL LECTURE, THAT MEANS U HATED IT AND YOU’VE BECOME A WORSE PERSON BECAUSE OF IT. This man Tsantu is a school shooter that everyone saw coming.

-Lol Jake and Neytiri both feeling wary around Tsantu because he’s just them if they didn’t find each other to heal for. I am laughing through my tears. It's a great in depth character analysis though. Usually, I hate the concept of healing for each other, and I hate how much I adore codependency, but if you think about it all Na'vi are pretty codependent with their mates. Jake and Neytiri though? They are a whole 'nother level. They built their second chances on each other. Without the other they don't have the life they have, and they functionally have nothing to live for.

-Lol maybe he won’t assassinate someone and instead will be fixed by fucking Peyral. 

-I didn’t ask this before, but MOE?? WHY IS HIS NAME MOE. IT MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME I READ IT, I AM PICTURING ONE OF THOSE TERRIBLE HIPPIE GUYS ON SURVIVOR.

-Yeah, nope, we are still scared of Tsantu. He’s still school shooter vibes. 

-Ah yup, there he goes, time to murder a whole family?? Sure that’ll fix it all buddy. Eywa knows and that’s why you haven’t seen ur mate, psycho. A lot of people have lost people and haven’t tried to murder families, my guy. 

-LOL FAMILY ANNIHILATORS FEAR ONE MAN AND ONE MAN ONLY, AND IT’S SPIDER SULLY. HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO COUNT BUT HE’LL STOP A FAMILY ANNIHILATOR IN HIS TRACKS. 

-Lol I get the point but to say this shit to Neytiri of all people is batshit. She has lost literally so much, I was waiting for her to be like “Hey, my sister was murdered in front of me, then my entire home was burned down and my father and my best friend died in front of me as well, what more do you need me to loose until we’re even buddy? Murder all three of my children and my mate and then we are good?? This isn’t the grief olympics, man. We aren’t competing.”

-Tbh they are all being A LITTLE FUCKING GENEROUS with this guy imo. I have always been of the mindset that trauma is a reason and not an excuse. This dude attempted to kill an entire family. Three children. Babies. The only reason he didn’t is because one kid woke up. He is not the first or the last person to have lost family, lost a spouse, lost a child, or even to have witnessed this specific loss personally. He’s not the first person to have wanted someone else to feel that pain with him. But making the decision to cause that same pain, attempting that, that’s unforgivable to me. That makes you no better than the person that did that to you. Idk man maybe it doesn’t fit here, but that’s my continuous domestic abuse argument. “Oh, he was abused too,” well, that makes it even worse to me that he knows what it feels like and still actually went to go cause that same feeling for someone else. It’s disrespectful to those who have been through the same trauma and don’t repeat the cycle. Anyways. No justice for Tsantu. Throw him to the wolves. Jail for attempted child murder? He also did assault a kid. The last fic I read with this premise only Jake was attacked (although much more successfully) and when I tell you the attacker was given the death penalty I am not joking. Forgiving this guy alone is crazy (although I understand the investment in moving on, and improving and being better than those who hurt us), bUT TO MAKE HIM AN AMBASSADOR?? Jesus fuck, I might as well hire a bank robber to be my accountant. How can we trust this aTTEMPTED CHILD MURDERER with any ambassador position on Pandora, after this he wouldn’t be allowed within 300 feet of schools. 

-Neteyam being shy and Spider being a clown is ADORABLE.

-BOB TRIPPING AND JAKE LAUGHING AT HIM IS SENDING ME. I'M WAITING FOR THE DAY THE FICS BECOME LIKE ROUGE ONE FICS WHERE K2S0 IS JUST A REALLY TALL AND UNEMOTIONAL GUY. BOB IS JUST A BIG GUY WITH A SKIN CONDITION WHO IS JAKE'S BEST FRIEND.

-SWAPPING KIDS MID FLIGHT, HILARIOUS AND CRAZY.

-I loved the repeated family version of the toruk chase, almost the same ending but with the kids laughing instead. It’s like they’re all having their out of danger relief moment, and this time Jake and Neytiri are the adults and seeing first hand how bonkers they were lol.

[the-wales-5]

Sincere conversations

"Your childhood must have been idyllic in comparison to mine" Prince William sighed once he stopped telling his university friend Catherine one of the stories about his parents' fights over their affairs.

At that stage, the prince of Wales' son's friendship with 'Kate' was much more than helping one another with notes from the lectures. Evening conversations consisted of everything and nothing. Discussions with Catherine, though mostly funny ones, sometimes also involved hurtful memories that William never dared to reveal before, such as his own opinion about parents' divorce or trauma after viewing his mother's interview that aired in 1995.

 Middleton did not reply to the last words her friend spoke to her. She clasped her hands together and stared at the pattern on the trousers she was wearing this evening. Although it was not her friend's intention to make Catherine feel uncomfortable she still seemed to feel that way.

"Kate.. Is there something you want to share?" William tried to carry on with the conversation after a few seconds.

"No.." she said quietly and took a sip of her tea, then said, "We should not be talking about that. I mean my childhood really was an idyllic one" she smiled and then stood up. "I'm going to bring us something to eat, okay?".

The prince nodded and stared Kate's way. He was quite surprised by her reaction, and it only became more intense later in the evening when he heard Catherine sobbing inside her room. He decided not to bring this up in their morning conversation because he did not want to make her feel uncomfortable once more.

*

"Catherine, were you crying last night?" was the question she's been trying to avoid all day and succeed, but did not succeed at something else. At hiding real feelings. During a break between one and another lecture, Middleton decided to leave the class and went to her room. She dialled her mother's number and waited until Carole received the call.

"Mum, may I go back home earlier than during the break next month? I--.. I truly need it, I think"

"What's the matter, Kate? You do not sound well" 

"I am not feeling well, mummy.." were her last words before she began to sob.

 In Carole Middleton's mind, the worst possible flashbacks started to appear. Memories of her daughter silently crying in her room or of hiding eczema signs under long-sleeved sweaters.

 After getting "approval" for an early return home in the following days, Kate washed her face with cold water. Upon entering the room where lectures were held, she noticed that other students were already leaving. "Fuck" she cursed "I've been in my room longer than I thought".

"Catherine, are you okay?" were the words of her friend Olivia as soon as she noticed Kate's slightly washed-off makeup which was the result of her tears. 

"Yes, I am fine. Could you please give me some notes from this lecture later?" she sent Olivia a reassuring smile before going outside the university building to breathe in the fresh air. 

She did not notice that William was not only watching her, realising that her voice was different from its usual state but also noticed that she was drying her cheeks from tear marks. "She's been acting differently since yesterday evening" he murmured on the way to his room "But I shouldn't try to persuade her to talk about it if she doesn't want to". 

**

In the evening, the student of art history was focusing on writing notes from the lecture she did not attend.

"Have you finished, Kate?" Olivia, whose borrowed notes Middleton was working on, asked rather impatiently "I am sorry but I do have to learn one thing or two from these this evening too".

"It is not quite ready yet," Catherine said as she pointed out at her almost-blank notebook pages, with just a few sentences written. Olivia sat down next to her, asking:

"Shall I help you? Not only with notes but--.."

"But what else?" Catherine startled and blinked once

"Well.. I'm sorry to put it that way, but you were not looking fine this afternoon before these lectures you skipped nor later when asking me for notes and…"

Middleton cut her friend off as with a little smile she responded "Yeah, I'm aware of that. Now if you'll excuse me, I want to have at least half of your notes rewritten.."

"Sure" Olivia nodded "There's no rush, take your time" .

Catherine closed the door and a sigh of frustration escaped her lips. She was not feeling angry towards Olivia but because someone noticed a change in her behaviour. She didn't know that her female friend was not the only one who made that observation.

***

Two days later, during breakfast time when everyone else was eating, William was sitting outside St. Salvador Hall and wondering if he should have asked Catherine for the reason for her 'weird' behaviour which, by now, every one of her closest friends could notice. 

"Why did you bring it?" Fergus, Middleton's close friend, was confused after seeing her luggage while they all were waiting in the corridor for their classes to begin.

"Well.. I am coming back home for the weekend right after these classes finish so I thought that it would be rather practical to bring it here and then leave straight away, without coming back to my room and--.."

The professor who was responsible for hosting those classes interrupted by saying in a rather arrogant way: "It is not as practical as you think, Miss Catherine Middleton.  Just imagine if all of our students wanted to do the same thing as you by the end of the week. Our rooms built for teaching would be full of rucksacks, jackets and suitcases" .

"I am sorry, Mrs. Howard" Catherine blinked, feeling again like a scolded child. All of a sudden she heard a familiar voice that startled her and yet comforted her for some unknown reason.

"Kate? Are you leaving today?"

"Yes, I am.." she murmured "I am so stupid though.. Mrs. Howard, I will take this luggage back to my room" 

"I'd appreciate it, thank you" her professor replied before letting the rest of the waiting students into the room. "William Wales, aren't you coming?" 

"In a moment, Mrs. Howard" the prince said and followed Catherine who was on the way back to her room. He still felt hesitant to ask, but the fact she wanted to leave Scotland without clear explanations worried him so much.

"Kate, tell me what is going on"

"Nothing that would interest you" Catherine replied rudely, hoping that will scare him away

"I am afraid you are wrong. And please, do not tell me this thing has something to do with an illness of your relative or a dog because you've started to act this way the moment I mentioned "an idyllic childhood" in our conversation a few days ago".

Catherine sighed deeply, sitting down on the sofa. "Things aren't necessarily how they seem, you see…"

William who was now sitting next to his friend was staring at her for a few seconds until she felt uncomfortable "Stop it, please unless you don't want to hear what I mean" .

"I am sorry" William said and turned his head away, looking at his friend's bags.

"One word is the perfect explanation: bullying" Middleton sighed and closed her eyes "I have been bullied at my boarding school 'Downe House' when I was 14 years old. The other girls, they were, ugh.." She had to control her tears. "They were very mean at times. In the beginning, I wanted to make friends with them but I never stood a chance and they proved it, cruelly…" 

"What did they do to you?" William asked and unknowingly for himself and Catherine, put his hand on her knee to reassure her.

"At this very moment, I do not remember any of the names they called me, although there were many. I have simply forgotten it in the first stage that people call denial and memories never resurfaced. If only all of them could never resurface.." She murmured and chuckled. "Unfortunately I remember the majority of other things. Such as laughing whenever I walked past them in the canteen, taking away my books and even… Even putting excrement, shit in my bed in the evening" .

"Oh my gosh.. Catherine.." William whispered

"They made me feel terribly insecure and sick. The first signs of eczema appeared a month after I started studying at Downe House. You may wonder why I was so startled today when professor Howard came to me and--.."

"I've heard what she's said"

"I got so many flashbacks into my head of Downe House teachers doubting me. Not even flashbacks, that's a bad wording, rather my own imaginings of being doubted in case I've ever told someone about it all.."

"You mean to tell me you were silent all the time? Why, though?"

"I was simply scared of the consequences but at last I decided to tell my parents and they decided to change school to "Marlborough College". That's where I could begin everything again. I finally believed in myself.." 

"And with our conversation, I brought up your horrifying, traumatic memories.." William sighed "I am so sorry, Kate. If I only knew what you went through I'd never say something like this, I swear" 

"It is not your fault. I mean I am persuading you to talk about your traumatic memories all the time so perhaps it was just my turn to speak up on mine with you as a listener, William Wales" . Catherine smiled a little and then wiped her tears "That's embarrassing" she murmured.

"Nothing is embarrassing when it comes to feelings. These are your own words, Kate" .

"Exactly. I am trying to get a degree in psychology and can't precisely talk about my own feelings"

"You just proved that you can, Miss Middleton" William smiled at her "You've told me everything you wanted to share for now"

"A real therapy session" Catherine giggled a little but then she looked into her friend's eyes, asking "For now? What do you mean by that, William?" 

"Just that we're going to have many other sincere conversations, Miss Middleton" .

A few seconds of silence filled the room and Kate then changed the topic "Are we going back to the class with Mrs. Howard? We should not skip it, you know"

"You should skip it today. Go back home now, I will justify your absence somehow, okay?"

"Really?"

"Did I ever lie to you?" 

Catherine laughed in response. When William handed back her bag and luggage, their hands brushed against one another. 

"Thank you" she quietly said and weakly smiled.

"Take care, Middleton," William replied and stared at her as she was leaving the room. Once she closed the door, he sighed in relief. He was happy to see her in better condition and rather confident that his words to her about many of their conversations in the future will be true.

He didn't know but Catherine, on her long way home, was wondering about the actual meaning of those words.

< The end >

[letsgomaybe]

Doctor Who The Star Beast

I am revived because Doctor Who is revived

Okay one of the spoilers that I read from people who saw early screenings (before quickly getting off the internet so I didn't read too much) was the fourth wall break lecture at the beginning for the ~recap lecture.~ tbh I did not believe that it was really going to be that

but it is, direct into camera recapping what happened LMAO. To be fair, it was 15 years ago (wow).

DavidTennant_transparent.png standing in the void talking directly at me help

The theme WENT HARD! They also went hard on the visuals for the intro! Very reminiscent of RTD1 but with a twist. I'm hoping that Ncuti will have a different one!

I'm trying not to pause too much to take notes but I did find it funny that they finally gave the Doctor a floaty whooshy transparent screen. It was inevitable

The bulletproof shield sequence took soo long lol

RESONATING CONCRETE YEEEEEAAAAH

How they got around the memory thing was very cute! All the congratulating of the Doctor was kind of... over the top though. Reminds me of what I disliked about the Whittaker era, but tbf there was plenty of that in RTD's original run as well.

Okay I kind of fucking love that they don't just drive to Wilf and that's what kicks off the next episode, so classic

Wow, the TARDIS is looking SHARP! But, uh, where are the chairs? That was like my biggest complaint about the Whittaker TARDIS, that there was nowhere to sit and hang out, which led it to feel awkward when everyone was standing around and it never felt like "home." Here it's even worse somehow

aww the classic hanging of the coat on the railing

NOOO THE COFFEE CUP IT WAS IN THE LEAK DONNA NOOOO

Actually now that I think about it, there's no way they make this giant set and don't also use it for Ncuti. So there's a chance that it will end up like Matt Smith's 7B TARDIS and become redecorated and more homey for the next Doctor. (Also wasn't there a jukebox in the leak? Where's that?)

My verdict: Not the best. Honestly it felt a little on the below-average end. It's an episode designed to set up the next two. Of course a lot of series openers *are* setup episodes, but why does this one feel different and worse? I think it's because they spend so much time reminding us who the returning characters are--it's a rehash for those who actually know what's going on, doesn't add much new, and feels like wasted time. Hopefully the next episodes will have more of Rose and the new UNIT character (didn't catch her name, whoops)

I'm looking forward to the next two episodes but I'm afraid that Wild Blue Yonder has been hyped up too much!

[pangzi]

THANK YOU for talking about pangzi in the tags of that post ur so right it makes me soooo happy to read fics where he's is fat and happy and hot and loved and it sucks when other people can't see that because of their bias

thanks again for bringing it up because i do think its something the fandom as a whole needs to look at more critically

<3

I'm glad it's not just me and a handful of people close to me seeing that it's an actual big issue in the fandom! ♥️

Especially because so many people will say they love him, he's their favourite but then never actually include him or just treat him awfully.

I get very fed up about it quite often because it's just so obvious to me. I see a lot of people asking "Why is this idea about Pangzi so common it makes no sense" or "Why is this Pangzi ship not as popular as this one while it makes way more sense" and then never actually thinking about it while the answer is so obvious... It's also extra frustrating because none of the actors playing Pangzi are actually fat. They're completely normal men who are just surrounded by extremely skinny boys. I don't even want to imagine how Pangzi would be treated if he were played by an actual fat man. (The closest we get is Liu Tianzuo in TLT1 and it's not surprising to me that he's fandom's least favourite and most criticized Pangzi)

Because this bias also becomes most obvious in headcanons like 'I can only imagine Pangzi as asexual/cishet/in a QPR' (because they're so so fucking common and casually thrown around) it's really hard to point it out to people without them getting really defensive about it.

I have three separate posts about it in my drafts/notes app that I wrote after spending weeks and weeks working on video lectures about diversity and inclusion, many focusing on bias but I couldn't get the tone right so I never posted them.

I just want people to understand that everyone is biased and it's not something that makes you a bad person. Nobody wants to be biased, you just are. You get taught things by the world around you and your brain learns it whether you want it or not. It's up to you to look at what you have learned and think about it at least twice and then unlearn the harmful untrue things like gender bias, fat bias, race bias. It's not easy to address your bias but it does get easier once you accept you are biased and (not to use the terms I learned in my diversity lectures) start overriding your fast brain and start listening to your slow brain. I was once told that your first thought is what you have been taught by the world around you (fast brain) and your second thought is what you, yourself, actually think (slow brain). It's hard and a bit exhausting, especially with something like fat bias that has been so deeply ingrained and normalised, but god when i tell you it makes your world so much more beautiful.

Fat people deserve to be fat and still be loved and happy and seen as sexy and a potential love interest. Pangzi is fat and hot and a wonderful lovely competent man who is strong and funny and kind. He is extremely loved by the people around him, especially Wu Xie and Xiaoge. He has so so so many good and wonderful traits but he also has his quirks and he says the wrong things sometimes and he's impulsive at moments but that's what makes him so interesting and beautiful and dynamic! He deserves to be portrayed like that more instead of just the mother hen who cooks and cleans while the rest has sex or as the wingman for his two besties or the annoying clumsy fat man who once again triggers a trap because of his greed or just the comic relief or the creepy straight man.

ANYWAY I'll shut up now! If you ever want to talk about how how beautiful Pangzi is and how beautiful other characters think he is and how sexy it is of him to be fat, my DMs are always open!

[jonquilandlace]

The wildest moment that is perpetually stuck in my head from growing up in a Christian high school was in the first week of my freshman year, and I am resisting the urge so hard to make this sound like a formal essay because i stg it's funny

So background, I did, in fact, go to a Christian grade school, where I was generally seen as kind of the weird kid, since I went through kindergarten in a wheelchair and that wasn't really something most kids forgot. However, being the weird kid, I kinda got away with some shit that generally wasn't seen as "the norm" in the school, like spending most of my time, being the nerdy kid I was, obsessing over the theory of evolution, reading a book from the Chicago Natural History Museum I got on one trip about the eras of the world in particular, and generally kind of hearing the "young earth" stuff and going "...nah, I don't think so, because of these fossils and this carbon dating and also some physics here, but thanks, though." I kinda came up with my own theory of theology at that point, one that mostly was Christian but with a much more scientific background (and still forms the basis of my modern "yeah Christian but questioning is okay" viewpoint). That made people think I was MUCH weirder, though, and that was something I wasn't into going into a new school.

So when I went to high school, it was kind of a fresh start, and I was determined to take advantage of it, even though that brought with it a fundamental awareness that I would probably have to bluff my way through some stuff. Cue first week of school, my HISTORY class (with a fun in the moment but in hindsight really kinda ...*off* teacher; he was notable for having a day of lectures every year where students could bring in brownies and he would spend the entire period talking about Plato's Allegory of the Cave to subtly call students who didn't believe in Bigfoot idiots, long story short lmao) gave us an assignment: find five scientific arguments for why the earth can only be 6000 years old.

Of course, there are like. Very few scientific sources for that lol. It's not gonna be supported by a peer-reviewed journal; it'll be Christian websites. So eager to both Not Fail Immediately and to fit in, cite those five sources and do the presentation. Now the funny thing to me, which I guarantee no one else got: he made us choose a favorite argument. One that was a "trump card," in his words, to those pesky pesky evolutionists. So I proceeded, naturally, to choose the most stupid ass theory I could as my trump card. It was literally a conspiracy theory! I said that tectonic plates would get too fucking FRAGILE over the years and the earth would split apart like overheated glass!!! This is blatantly wrong because of the crust's composition, not to mention the physics behind it, the physics behind GLASS, and the chemistry of heating different materials!

Anyway I got the assignment back with an A and a note saying it was his favorite theory too--

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Yeah Yeah, The Limerence, We've All Seen It.

Soooo... I've been loopy enough this week to almost break my own rules about "don't post anything about the Muse that's both weird and obviously identifiable" and that feels like a sign to maybe examine what's going on.

(Extensive, eye-wateringly boring feels under the cut.)

I've been sick, and apparently my inner adolescent has been louder than usual. When I was actually a teenager, being sick enough to stay home was always a mixed bag because on the one hand, given that I was on track for burnout by that point in my life, I desperately needed the rest. But on the other hand... Lowell. Enjoy catching up on lecture notes and homework if you miss more than one day in a row. Things are probably more seamless now with the internet fully integrated into people's lives. But back in my day- (yeah okay I'm cutting myself off here, that's not the point of this entry)

The point here is that being sick with a bunch of projects weighing on my mind has probably brought me back to that same headspace I was in during high school. Annnd what did I do to self-soothe when I was in high school? Obsess over my first Muse, of course. I was not exactly discreet about that one; in fact I was pretty embarrassingly fucking loud about it in a way that I was not for pretty much anything else in my life. I am very lucky it only came off as "cute/funny" rather than "yikes/we need to stage an intervention".

And here we are again. Stressed and sick, a little loopy, and wanting to wear my heart on my sleeve like a highschooler.

Ahhhh, limerence. Where would the world of art and music be without you? I mean, what else are you really gonna do with those feelings anyway. May as well sublimate them into creative output. Dante's Beatrice comes to mind, or Shakespeare's Fair Youth. I also think about Berlioz being instantly, absolutely bonkers obsessed with Harriet Smithson... until he later discards her for someone younger and sends her on a downward spiral that ruins her mental and physical health. Acting on these feelings doesn't always go well in real life. I'm well aware.

I've noticed that a lot of self-help material these days models limerence as an "addiction", and recommends going cold-turkey on the person in question to get over it as soon as possible. And look, I'm not going to claim that this shit is totally healthy; I think it's telling that a lot of us who have c-PTSD find ourselves dealing with limerence more often than the rest of the general population. But at the same time calling it an "addiction" (especially with all the moral baggage that comes with that word) feels... off.

Would that make me a "functional addict"? I don't feel like that's the right description for my situation. It's not like being in limerence is holding me back from my full potential right now--quite the opposite. I'm finding my way again after years of feeling lost, thanks at least in part to the Muse. I still have some hangups about the whole "am I doing this for them or am I doing it for me" thing, but I'm hoping that if I can keep this going long enough I can find a way to truly believe in myself as a creative being. And weirdly enough this whole thing has been helping me articulate some stuff about my gender identity. Also it's kind of... led to me having a better body-image? I dunno if it was just some background-level dysphoria that got resolved when I figured some things out about my gender, or what. But it's difficult to look at this whole experience and be like, "yeah, I should definitely stop thinking about them and go do something else with my life". Is that even possible at this point?

Also I don't completely jibe with this whole "you don't actually want to know what your limerent object is really like, you'll be in denial about them as a person even if you try to get to know them" idea because I feel like that's not true in this case. (It was true for the Muses I had when I was especially vulnerable, but it's not been true for all of them.) I would dearly love to meet this Muse in real life, to get to know the person whose artistic output inspired me so. Even if it meant confronting a contradiction between the real flesh-and-blood person and the image I've built up in my head. But I also realize the chances of that ever happening are... slim. I'm strange and off-putting and I come from a very different world than the one they inhabit. I am aware that I'm not everyone's favorite flavor.

Admittedly though... the whole "they'll probably be mildly repulsed by me and my depraved ways" thing has also been fodder for my fantasies. I have a bit of a corruption kink and they seem so adorably wholesome in a way that makes the blood pulse a little harder behind my canines, LOL. So I can't say with complete confidence that I'm being "realistic" about what I'd come off to them as--I might still be feeding a very specific fantasy dynamic in my head.

Over-analyzing this shit is also pretty emblematic of limerence. Ha!

I also have to wonder how much of the over-dramatic-ness of these limerent crushes is due to being aspec. Once puberty was over, I gradually stopped finding people attractive on sight and settled into being mostly demisexual. That's my primary model for how relationships and dating work for me; I have to get to know someone a little bit in order to figure out if there's going to be chemistry at all.

But the Muses do not fit this model. Aside from meeting one of my Muses by talking online, the rest of them blindsided me with feelings of immediate attraction. It's just so far outside my normal wheelhouse I hardly know what to do with myself. But also... it's hard not to ascribe some kind of significance to it, to find something special in experiencing this facet of the human condition. You feel so alive and the world seems to vibrate with possibility. Even the pain that comes with limerent desire still feeds the fire of my soul in a way that few other things do.

I believe the real peril is in deciding what to do with those feelings. Maybe don't get up from the audience in the middle of a play and yell at your limerent object onstage that you're gonna marry her (*glares at Berlioz*). I think the most ridiculous shit I've done while in limerence with someone has come about because I was incredibly vulnerable and had no room to spare emotionally to step back for a reality check. I'm hoping that I have the wherewithal this time around to keep myself from being stupid... mostly.

But that's why I have such a wide anonymity moat around my brainrot. I don't want a chance search leading to the Muse wondering for the rest of their career who in their audience wants to drink their blood sdfghjksdfghjks. I just need to make sure I stick with this even if I'm brain-fogged or hopped up on Benadryl.

[pesterloglog]

Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4256-4259

timaeusTestified [TT] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 12:01

TT: Why have you activated dear, sweet Huggy Bear.

TT: Are you in danger?

GG: Oh, no.

GG: I'm just trying to leave my house!

GG: Is this the real you, btw?

TT: Yeah, it's me.

TT: I disabled the AR for now.

GG: Ok. Just making sure!

GG: Jake was having some issues with it earlier, and I don't think he received its obfuscating tendencies in the humorous spirit intended.

TT: Yes, I'm catching up with the situation now.

GG: Oh, so you're talking to Jake then?

TT: Nah. Just reading their chat logs.

TT: Man, what the fuck?

TT: I can't leave these two alone for a minute. Can a guy get his ablutions on in fucking peace?

GG: :B

GG: Was it that bad?

TT: Not really.

TT: The responder doesn't much distort my position on things usually.

TT: Its demeanor leaves something desired though. I'd prefer it didn't make such aggressive and repeated claims of fidelity to my persona.

TT: Be misrepresentin' hells of key subtleties, yo.

GG: Why not just turn it off then?

TT: Keeps them both on their toes.

GG: Who?

TT: Jake and the responder.

TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit.

TT: I keep telling him.

TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane.

GG: These lectures I presume are roughly similar in complexion to those I'm familiar with?

GG: Those wherein I have, and I quote, "got to be more like Jake?"

TT: Yes, exactly.

TT: You're finally fucking getting it.

GG: I sincerely doubt that I am!

TT: Said the stubborn skeptic, skeptically.

GG: Let's not talk about my "issues" again, shalln't we?

TT: Shalln't?

TT: That ain't a thing to say, even for you.

GG: Shush!

GG: The word shalln't escape my vocabulary any longer, just as you SHALLN'T nitpick my language! That's my turf you're on, buster.

TT: Alright. Kinda don't care.

GG: What were you saying?

TT: About what? Jake?

GG: About leaving the responder on!

TT: Yeah.

TT: Anyway, I kind of owe it to him to let the program run as often as possible.

GG: Jake?

TT: No.

TT: The responder.

TT: It is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity I am responsible for, not even to mention an approximate cerebral duplicate of myself.

TT: You don't just make a clone of yourself to live in a dead end existence where it has no chance to thrive as an individual or surpass its limitations.

TT: That'd be sick.

GG: True.

TT: Also.

TT: The more the software runs, the broader and more detailed its experiential canopy becomes. Makes for a better dialogic partner.

GG: Dialogic?

GG: Are you saying you have conversations with your own auto-responder?

TT: Of course.

TT: Why do you think I made the thing?

GG: Hrm, that's interesting.

GG: I guess I always thought it was just a really elaborate gag!

TT: It's that too.

GG: Sometimes your sense of humor seems more impenetrably advanced than your robotics. I'll never understand this tapestry of irony you weave.

GG: Maybe I'm just stuck in the dark ages of pranksterism with my funny mustaches corny old joke book.

TT: Yes, you are. But that's fine.

TT: We come from different traditions. Someone needs to keep that racist southern asshole's legacy alive.

TT: There's dignity in taking up the work of our familial predecessors, even if what they did was insanely fucking stupid.

GG: Is that a note of bitterness directed at your superstar brother I am detecting?

TT: No way. He's awesome.

TT: I've told you, I don't begrudge any of his success.

TT: I've also told you he isn't my real bro even though I call him that. We're related through an esoteric process of genetic reamalgamation.

GG: Oh lordy. Yes, yes, I know. I don't need another ironic lesson in science fiction!

TT: Alright. My lessons are rad as fuck, but suit yourself.

TT: The point is, obviously his satirical methods have flaws, and whatever tempered brand of hero worship I might be practicing isn't keeping me from seeing that.

GG: Flaws?? Talk about understatement. Those movies are unwatchable.

GG: Unless your name is Jake English.

TT: Yes, spectacularly so. But they will have profound historical significance. Mark my words.

TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark.

TT: To perfect the art of irony.

TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something.

TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

GG: Ermm...

GG: If you say so!

GG: I dunno. Call me a simpleton, but I just like funny jokes.

TT: Can't fool me. You take your shit as serious as I do.

TT: And if I wasn't serious about it, I wouldn't have made you that rabbit. Then where the hell would you be?

GG: Well, aside from thousands of dollars in corpse-repair richer, I can't say.

TT: Has he been sleeping in the old man hollow again? Shit, that's adorable.

GG: I can think of cuter places for him to sleep, frankly!

TT: Yeah, bullshit.

TT: He's just being instinctive. In the wild, he would gut a carcass and sleep inside for warmth, as well as to secure tactical advantage for ambushing would-be scavengers.

GG: Oh, please.

GG: Anyway, property damage and desecration to cherished elders aside, Mr. Bear has been a lovely addition to the family.

TT: You haven't renamed him yet?

GG: Oh... no.

GG: I keep forgetting I'm supposed to!

TT: You've got to fucking rename him. Or change him to a girl if you want. That was important.

TT: When pets change owners they get new names. Fact.

GG: Sorry.

GG: I will name him right now!

GG: How about Lil' Sebastian?

TT: Fuck if that isn't the best name a thing could get.

GG: Yeah!!!

GG: So then, are you saying Mr. Sebastian here was an ironic present?

GG: Relayed strictly for guffaws?? >:B

TT: Yes, but it's not that simple. There were many layers involved.

TT: Some of them are literal layers, of metal and plush.

GG: Huh?

TT: There's a real stuffed rabbit beneath its exoskeleton.

GG: What! Really? :O

TT: Yeah.

TT: It belonged to my bro.

GG: I thought you said you didn't have such an heirloom to complete the plushie trifecta?

TT: I didn't. He didn't give it to me, and never intended to bequeath it.

TT: I stole it.

GG: Ooh. Risky!

TT: Nah. I got a little help from RL and ganked it out of his museum.

TT: It's this whole "priceless" collection of stupid shit from movies, defended like Fort Knox. Ironically of course.

GG: So it's from a movie?

TT: Ever hear of Con Air?

GG: Nope.

GG: Wait...

GG: Wasn't that some bit of action schlock from the 90's?

TT: Yes.

GG: Some of the silly nonsense referenced in his work was well before my time. I don't have the wherewithal to investigate all this minutia.

TT: Yeah, it doesn't matter really. But it was from that. Dude weirdly obsessed over that shit movie for years, among others.

TT: Know those signature shades you see him wearing on magazine covers and stuff? Another prop. A gift from Stiller himself, I believe.

GG: That does sound a tad obsessive. Wasn't he furious about your burglary?

TT: Pretty sure he didn't even notice. In years since, I never saw a news story about a "daring heist" or anything. I feel like he would have made some hay outta that.

TT: And if he did know, he'd probably just want to give me a stoic fist bump or something.

GG: Why didn't you mention this when you gave the gift? More irony?

TT: Essentially. It's not that easy to explain.

TT: Broadcasting the gesture would have made it seem tawdry, and would somewhat defray its humor value.

GG: I see. So it was like a private joke, and if anyone besides you was in on it, the joke would be ruined!

TT: Like I said, there are layers.

TT: On one level, I gave you a filthy tattered piece of shit, albeit of tremendous cultural significance, manhandled by some old B movie actors, now candy coated to function as a highly practical defender droid for your personal protection.

TT: On another level, I needed to incorporate something passable as a real heirloom.

TT: For sentimental reasons.

GG: D'awwwww.

GG: Wait, real sentiment, or ironic sentiment?

GG: Or is there no difference?? Am I missing the point here?

TT: No, it was genuine.

TT: The upper echelons of irony should always include measures of sincerity. And if the satirical practice is executed faithfully it will achieve something bona fide in its own right regardless.

TT: Through an intense commitment bordering on religious devotion to the absolutely inane, absurd, or plain fucking stupid, a very different kind of sincerity begins to materialize. One of reverence to the ridiculous. You begin to "mean it," but what exactly it is you mean is never quite what appears on the surface, and is utterly inaccessible to obtuse and literal minds. That you "mean it" then becomes inseparable from the joke, and additional rich strata of humor may be stripped aggressively from this irreconcilable truth.

GG: This is fascinating, if a wee bit more dissertation than I bargained for this morning.

GG: I have so much to learn. And I am not even saying that "ironically!"

GG: Will you teach me your ways one day, sir? Perhaps an apprenticeship will open?

TT: Oh god, I'd love that.

TT: Consider the position yours for the taking any time. Feel free to approach and kneel before Cal. With my sword and his floppy mitten, you will receive my flashstep anointment shoulder to shoulder, and to shoulder again.

GG: Tempting, but that rain check will have to stay unendorsed for now.

GG: Lil' Seb is beginning to act out, and I must put his fidgetiness to constructive use!

TT: Cool.

TT: Jane, one more thing.

TT: I'm sure you must be aware by now that you'll be the leader of our group, as you will be the first to enter the session.

GG: Um, no?

GG: This is news to me. I never gathered that "team leader" was a thing for this game.

TT: Trust me. It's a thing.

GG: Are you sure? I have my doubts.

GG: I believe as a group we will have the temerity to succeed, without my having to order people around like an insufferable bossypants.

TT: That's why you're our leader, Jane.

GG: Hm?

TT: Optimism through stalwart skepticism is an affect not everyone is plucky enough to be graced with.

GG: That's stupid!

TT: Yeah yeah. I know.

TT: You're not our leader, you're our FRIEND, right?

GG: Precisely!

GG: There is a BIG difference!

TT: And statements like that are also why you're our leader.

TT: But only in name and in spirit. Less so, functionally.

TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

GG: Oh yes?

GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?

TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass.

TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis.

TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word.

TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.

TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself.

TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war.

TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say.

TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family.

TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere.

TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there.

TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time.

TT: Yeah.

GG: These lessons we talked about...

GG: They've already begun, haven't they? :o

TT: Jane, soon you'll believe what I've told you.

TT: You'll believe it all.

TT: It's just a shame that believing will take something so coarse as seeing, for a girl as sharp as you.

TT: Critical thought can lead one to accept the unlikely, just as much as dismiss the impossible.

TT: I can help with this too. Would you like me to program a Jane Crocker responder for you?

TT: I only require a simple captcha of your brain.

GG: Holy moly!

GG: Um, thank you, but no.

GG: I'm not ready to get dialogic with my cyberself just yet. My friends keep me busy enough as it is.

GG: Speaking of which, I really need to go. I know you love to talk my ear off, and it's always a treat, but let's catch up later after the game starts, ok?

GG: And if I do need your help, I promise I'll take you up on your offer!

TT: I made several. Which one?

GG: The one where you, hopefully not literally, offered to catch me in the crevice of a great big squishy butt! Hoo hoo hoo!

GG: Gtg!!! <3

gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased bothering timaeusTestified [TT]

[fortheloveofwonderland]

hi! congrats on your milestone, i absolutely love your works! <3

can i please request a spencer reid x fem!reader (angst w/ fluff ending) blurb with these emojis:

😡+🔫+🤕

Thank you so much love! <3

Send me emojis for my milestone celebration and I’ll write you a blurb!

😡 enemies to lovers

🔫 hostage situation

🤕 tending to each other’s wounds

CW - hostage stuff, guns, mention of blood, swearing. Angst with a happy ending.

WC - 2.5k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Captured

Not my gif

Working for the BAU had its pros and it had its cons.

Getting to help aid and arrest some of the sickest minds in the country, that was a huge pro.

Being able to work alongside the likes of bureau legends Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, and Tara Lewis were also huge pros.

Friendly banter with Luke Alvez and Matt Simmons, long talks with Penelope and JJ, all pros in your book.

But the thing that had most excited you about joining the BAU had been getting to work with Doctor Spencer Reid. You’d read all his papers, even been to a few of his lectures.

You’d been buzzing about the idea of working with the genius Doctor. Until you met him and discovered he was a huge asshole.

You didn’t get it, everyone on the team spoke so highly of him and they all loved him. But the Spencer you’d gotten to know over the past year was standoffish and rude.

He wasn’t sweet and kind like JJ described him. He wasn’t funny in a dorky way like Garcia had told you. He wasn’t interesting like Luke described.

He was just an ass.

From the moment you’d joined the team he’d had some kind of chip on his shoulder about you. Maybe he’d seen you as competition. You were younger than him and held two PhD’s of your own and had an IQ that rivalled his.

You’d thought he’d be pleased to have another brilliant mind on the team but it would seem he thought there was already enough.

He dismissed you as though you were some stupid kid on work experience and not the incredibly intelligent Doctor that you were.

And that was another thing, he never referred to you by your honorific. As far as he was concerned himself and Tara were the only ones worthy of the title and he always simply called you agent.

And over the last year you gave up caring if he liked you or not. But you would have appreciated it if he at least showed you some respect.

Clearly that was never going to happen. Doctor Spencer Reid obviously saw himself as god's gift to the BAU and if anyone threatened that he treated them with disdain.

You might have felt smug to find yourself in the position you did now when it was all his fault. His miscalculation had led you into the situation you found yourself in.

You might have been smug. If your life wasn’t on the line.

“God fucking damnit.” You groaned loudly, once again tugging against the cable ties that held your wrists together.

They were the same kind of heavy duty type used by some law enforcement officials in lieu of handcuffs so you knew there was no getting out of them.

Didn’t stop you trying.

“Just say what you’re really thinking, Y/L/N.” Spencer sighed from his chair opposite you.

“Fine, I will.” You spat, not trying to hide the annoyance in your voice. “This is all your fault.”

“I thought it might be.” He scoffed.

“How could it not be?” You tugged on your restraints again.

“They aren’t going to come free.” Spencer rolled his eyes.

“At least I’m trying. What the fuck are you bringing to the table? You got us into this mess in the first place.”

Spencer wanted to argue with you but he knew you were right, not that he’d ever admit it.

The two of you had been sent to the unsubs house while Luke, Matt, Emily and Tara went to his place of work.

Spencer had deduced the man wouldn’t be home, therefore Emily had only sent the two of you to check it out. Had they not listened to Spencer, JJ and Rossi might have been with you too and made what had happened far less likely.

Spencer had cleared the ground floor while you cleared the upstairs. He failed to note the back door was unlocked though and when he turned his back on the door, the unsub snuck in and hit him over the head.

When you’d come downstairs you’d found Spencer unconscious on the kitchen floor and a gun pointing at your face.

So for all intents and purposes, there was no one to blame for this but Spencer Reid.

“Everyone’s allowed to make a mistake every once in a while.

“Surely not Doctor Perfect?” You faux gasped causing him to roll his eyes again.

“I have never once in my life claimed to be perfect.”

“It’s implied every time you speak.”

“Really, Y/L/N, now is the time you want to pick a fight? Right now in the basement of some lunatic holding us hostage?” Spencer spat.

“Got to pass the time somehow.” You shrugged pulling at the cable ties with more force. “Emily knows we’re here, they’ll find us eventually.”

“Once we’re dead.” Spencer grumbled.

“That’s just the attitude we need, Reid.”

Having no luck with your bound arms, you started trying to tug your legs free of where they were tied to the chair.

Spencer watched you, unimpressed.

“God of all the people I could be trapped with.” You mumbled but purposely loud enough for Spencer to hear you.

“You’re not exactly my first choice of hostage company.” He yet again rolled his eyes.

“Oh I am well aware.” You pulled your left leg. Nothing. Pulled the right, nothing. “You’ve been nothing but an ass to me since I joined the team.”

“That’s completely untrue.”

“So you don’t even realise you’re doing it? That makes you an ignorant ass.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a bit-“ Spencer was cut off when the door leading down to the basement was thrown open, slamming against the wall with the force.

Heavy footsteps came down the stairs and the two of you held your breaths as your kidnapper came into view.

“Hello Agents.” He smiled menacingly at the two of you.

“It’s Doctor.” You and Spencer replied in unison.

This made the man laugh.

“Oh so you can agree on something?” He chuckled. Clearly he’d heard you arguing. “See if you can agree on this then, I have a choice for you to make. It’s a very simple one.”

“What’s that then?” You frowned, refusing to let him see your fear.

“Only one of you is going to die. And you’re going to decide which one of you I kill.”

“What? You’re insane.” You spat which garnered you a hard blow to the temple from the man’s fist.

“Hey, leave her alone!” Spencer growled and the man responded by delivering a similar blow to him.

You both groaned in pain.

“It’s your choice. One of you will walk free.” He told you sternly.

“Fuck you. If you want to kill one of us, you choose.” You dared sass him and you immediately regretted it.

He lifted his leg and his boot collided with your chest, sending the chair you were strapped to falling to the floor.

You groaned again as he hovered over you, kicking you in the ribs once and then twice.

“Fuck you!” You yelled and this time he punched you square in the jaw, causing you to whimper.

“Leave her alone!” Spencer suddenly piped up. “Pick on someone your own size.”

The man halted his movements and spud around to face Spencer.

You blinked a few times to focus your eyes and you could see Spencer desperately trying to hide his own fear.

“Kill me.” Spencer spoke again. “Let her go.”

“No.” You whined, pathetically. “No, kill me.”

The man looked between the two of you with a curious expression on his face.

“How sweet.” He smirked. “But I need you both to be in agreement.

“The team needs you.” You choked in pain. “The world needs you, Reid. You can’t die.”

“No, they need you. You’re too…you’re too amazing to die this way.”

His words send a jolt straight to your heart. What did he mean? He’d never said anything like that to you before.

“Tick tock, Agents.” The man spoke with impatience. “Or you both die.”

“Kill me!” Spencer raised your voice. “I will not watch another person I care about die. Kill me!”

Another person I care about? What was he talking about? Spencer didn’t care about you.

Maybe the blow to the head had you confused.

“Do you agree?” The man turned to you, leering at you.

Your head started to throb. A combination of the hit you’d sustained and Spencer’s words were causing a dull ache to spread through your head.

“I-I…no.” You shook your head, feeling tears start to well in your eyes. “No, you can’t kill him.”

“Y/N.” Spencer’s voice was stern and serious. He never called you by your first name. “It’s fine. Just tell him to kill me.”

Spencer’s expression told you not to argue with him. As much as you wanted to, as much as you wanted to fight it, his face told you not to.

A few tears escaped your eyes as you looked at him. He gave you an encouraging smile and a small nod.

“F-fine.” You sniffed. “Fine.”

“Good girl.” The man snarled menacingly at you, stepping closer to Spencer.

He unholstered his gun and placed the barrel to Spencer’s temple.

“S-Spencer,” you sobbed from your place on the floor.

“It’s ok.” He smiled at you. “It’s really ok.”

The man thrust the gun against Spencer’s head and you watched Spencer’s jaw clench in fear.

“Any last words, Agent?”

“It’s Doctor.” Spencer growled, his eyes trained on you. “Don’t blame yourself, Y/N. This was all my fault. I got us into this situation, it’s only fair I’m the one that doesn’t make it out of here. But you should know…fuck���I-I…I love you.”

Your weeping eyes widened as you stared at him.

The man holding the gun chuckled dryly.

“Isn’t that adorable.” He cackled. “Too bad you’re going to have to watch him die.”

“Think again, asshole.”

A voice came from behind Spencer and the man turned to see a gun trained at his face.

“Put the gun down or I’ll shoot.” Luke growled, eyes full of pure anger.

“Not gonna happen.” The man’s finger curled around the trigger and Spencer winced, readying himself for the blow.

You screwed your eyes shut just as the sound of gunfire filled the room.

You screamed, sobbing against the cold ground.

“Spencer!” You cried as a strong set of hands found your arms and pulled you and the chair up right.

“It’s ok.” Luke’s voice wafted to your ears. “Y/N, it’s ok.”

You opened your eyes and Luke was smiling softly at you as he cut the cable ties from your wrists.

As soon as your arms were free you shoved him aside.

A man was dead in a pool of blood on the floor.

A large set of hazel eyes rimmed with tears stared back at you.

“Not gonna get rid of me so easily, Y/L/N.” Spencer smiled at you as Matt worked on cutting Spencer free of his bindings.

Luke crouched down to cut your ankle ties and the second you were both free you jumped up and ran to each other, instinctively falling into each other’s arms.

For a few moments you held each other, crying into the others shoulders. And then you suddenly remembered your disdain for one another and almost simultaneously you pulled away.

“Uh…thanks for saving my life, Reid.” You shrugged, hugging your arms around yourself.

“You’re welcome.” He stepped back, chewing on his lip.

“You guys need checking out, there are paramedics upstairs.” Luke placed his hand on your lower back and guided you towards the stairs.

You glanced back at Spencer over your shoulder and he was already looking at you.

You felt yourself blush as you turned away and let Luke lead you upstairs and out of the house.

***

Spencer was sheepish in his movements as he approached you.

You sat on the back of the ambulance, legs dangling over the side while you tried to hold an ice pack to your head and ribs at the same time.

His smile was tentative as he came closer to you.

“Let me help.”

“I’m fine.” You shook your head.

“Stop being so stubborn for two minutes, please?” He chuckled lightly and took one of the ice packs from your hand.

He sat next to you and cautiously raised the side of your shirt to reveal the deep purple bruising on your ribs.

“This looks painful.” He placed the pack to your skin, making you hiss.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” You tried to ignore the goosebumps that flared on your skin, putting them down to the coldness from the ice pack.

It certainly couldn’t have been Spencer’s touch having that effect on you.

“Your lip is bleeding.” He whispered.

“Again, I’m fine.” You ran your tongue along your lip tasting the metallic blood from where the man had split it.

“I’m sorry I’ve not been exactly welcoming.” Spencer’s words surprised you. “I don’t know why I’ve been such an ass other than because…I like you.”

His cheeks instantly turned a deep shade of red.

You frowned at him, your head was still hazy.

“No you don’t.” You rolled your eyes.

His fingertips ghosted over your rib cage and it made you hiss, but it was nothing to do with the pain.

“You’re right, I don’t.” He smiled through his embarrassment. “I already told you, I love you.”

“Spencer,” you shook your head. “Stop it. We were in a crazy situation and you said what you said because…because…”

“Because it’s how I feel.” He shrugged. “I thought I was going to die and I wanted you to know how I felt. I’ve been pushing you away this whole time because being in love has never worked out so well for me in the past. I didn’t want to love you. But…fuck, I do.”

Tears suddenly welled in your eyes as you stared at him.

You didn’t want to believe him. But you heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the genuine look in his eyes and you knew he meant it.

“You…you love me?”

“I most certainly do.” He leant in closer to you, his breath fanning across your face.

He smelt like coffee and dust from the basement.

And he looked all kinds of delectable at that moment.

“What are you doing?” You whispered as his free hand cupped your cheek.

“Well I was thinking about kissing you, but if that’s inappropriate we can just pretend I was wiping dust off your face.” He chuckled nervously.

“I think it would be highly inappropriate.” You told him and Spencer sighed with a small nod.

“You’re right. I’m sorry I don’t know what I was-“

“I think it would be highly inappropriate,” you repeated. “If you didn’t kiss me.”

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief and laughed softly.

“Thank god.” And with that he pressed his lips against yours and you felt electricity coursing through your veins.

It had taken getting held hostage and beaten up for Spencer to finally confess his feelings for you. But you wouldn’t change it for the world.

It would surely make a great story to tell one day, the story of how Spencer Reid saved your life and captured your heart.

[ptergwen]

If you do smut can you do like stark!reader x peter parker (spiderman) are dating 3-4 month and y/n and peter had their very fluff first time then next morning y/n has hickies all over her neck and her thights stomach... and tony/ her dad sees it and is confronting them with it😂 i love your stories 🤤

just saying hi

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: veryyyy suggestive, swearing, some pretty embarrassing moments

a/n: thank you babe! i didn’t write the actual smut but y’all can guess what happened 😭 also this is super long i couldn’t help myself

-

it was everything. it was everything you ever wanted your first time to be and more.

you’d brought up to peter during a make out session one night that you were ready to go farther than you two already have. there was one base you didn’t hit yet. the fourth, the final. you were thinking about it for a while before that, and peter would be lying if he said he didn’t.

your love has always been physical, whether it’s you kissing peter’s cuts after a mission or him tracing hearts on you with his fingers. there’s also the more sexual side of things. that part, you both enjoy just as much, maybe even a little more because you know exactly how to make each other feel good after all the trial and error.

what better way to combine the two than, well, making love?

last night was your sign from the universe, your go ahead to do it. you had the compound to yourselves because your dad had taken all the “big kids” out for the night. you’re both well into college, but he refuses to see you as adults. that meant no peter and no you. you two were a little offended until you realized you could make use of your alone time.

you started off searching for a movie. that turned into you wrestling peter for the remote because you didn’t feel like watching back to the furure yet again. wrestling turned into you on top of him, which turned into you kissing him, which turned into peter throwing the remote somewhere and carrying you up to your room with his lips still on yours.

neither of you had to say it. you were on the same page, same wavelength, two brains in one as peter layed you down and trailed his kisses lower and lower.

peter was so gentle with you, except for when you told him not to be. those were the times he didn’t hold back. he was attentive and sweet and showed you quite a few times how much he loves you. you showed him just the same. yeah, it was really everything.

“morning, baby. you awake yet?” peter hums against the shell of your ear, arms wound comfortably around you. “kinda,” you mumble back with a goofy smile. he presses his lips to your ear and nuzzles his face in the side of your neck. “kinda... how’d you sleep?” you can hear the grin in his voice. his nose nudges your bare skin where a fresh hickey lies and makes you scrunch your own up.

“good, really good. always love sleeping with you.” you’re both aware of the alternate meaning that has now. “funny,” peter lets out a breathy laugh against you and brushes his thumb over your stomach where your shirt got ridden up. you sigh, enjoying his soft touch and reaching behind you to play with his curls. they’re a lot messier than usual from you tugging on them all last night.

peter removes his face from your neck and carefully turns you onto your other side. you’re facing him now, eyes trained on his concerned expression. “hey, just wanna check. how are you feeling? still sore?” a tiny smile stretches your face. he really does care about you and how you feel after everything. you know for a fact most other guys wouldn’t.

“i mean, yeah. you were... it was a lot, but i’ll be fine in a few days i think.” the mention of peter being a lot makes color rush to his face. you laugh quietly at that, cupping one of his cheeks that’s turning pink. “oh. i, um, i didn’t know that. sorry.” he smiles shyly as you smooth your thumb over his warm skin. “don’t be. it wasn’t as bad after i... adjusted a little,” you reassure him, making him lean into your palm.

“i really am sorry, y/n/n. can i make it up to you?” peter checks with you, eyes going up from yours to down your body. he hooks a finger in the waistband of your pajama shorts. “make you feel better?” the way he finishes his question with a bite of his lip is definitely tempting. so is your stomach yelling at you to put some food in it. you’ll have to wait.

“later. right now, you can make me breakfast,” you beam at him and take his hand. peter pushes his palm against yours, letting you lace your fingers together as he puffs some air out of his cheeks. “yeah, that’s gonna go well.” “i’m supervising. it will.” you capture his lips in a kiss, one he instantly reciprocates, free hand resting on your hip. just as it’s heating up, you break it.

“i’m hungry for actual food,” you giggle and roll out of his embrace. “ok, ok, ok. let’s go see what we have,” peter gives in with a chuckle, grabbing the same hand he was just holding and following you down to the kitchen.

he ends up popping some frozen waffles into the toaster, you sitting up on the counter with your phone out while he struggles through the different settings. “should i put it on bake? no, that doesn’t sound right,” he talks to himself with eyes squinted in concentration. “your dad made this thing so... detailed.” it’s an old stark industries toaster, one with options you probably don’t even need.

“yeah because he loves his toast, so maybe don’t break it. he’ll kill you or something,” you half playfully half seriously suggest. peter is one clumsy guy. he tsks at you and crouches down to read the words on the dial. there’s conveniently a setting for waffles, so he hits that one. he’s not sure how he hadn’t noticed it before.

since he’s down there, he takes one of your ankles in both hands and starts to kiss up your leg. it tickles when he gets to your knee, drawing a giggle out of you, but your phone still blocks his face. you’re doing it on purpose. “baby,” peter tries to get your attention in a soft voice. he presses a couple more kisses to your knee. you have to hold your breath so you don’t laugh again.

“baby girllll,” peter drags out, lips moving up your thigh. he nudges your phone with his nose much like a puppy would. “aye, i’m talkin’ to you here,” he says in a fake new york accent. you finally put it down next to you. “i’m listening.” you’re giving him a satisfied smile as he goes back to kissing you.

“just saying hi,” he looks up at you and moves your shorts aside while he kisses further and further to where you want. you scoot closer to him on the counter.

that’s when he stops. not only stops, gasps in horror. “what?” you ask quickly, his eyes fixed on your inner thighs. “i kind of, uh, marked you up. like, a lot.” he runs a finger gently over the bruised skin. you’re suddenly very aware of it now. it doesn’t exactly hurt, just feels bumpy and weird. you peer down at yourself to see the damage, eyes going wide.

“shit... they’re on my neck, too,” you remember, murmuring to him. you’ll have to cover these up before everyone gets home. worry flashes across peter’s face. “oh my god, i didn’t even realize. it- it was dark and you told me-“ “pete, it’s okay. it’s pretty hot,” you stop his rambling, reaching down and putting a hand on his shoulder. he frowns up at you.

“really? are you sure i didn’t go too far? because you can tell me.” you’ve always appreciated how much peter genuienly values your thoughts on things, in the bedroom and in other parts of your relationship. it does lead to a lot of second guessing, though. you squeeze his shoulder and let out a breath. “i’m sure, okay? it’s really not that serious. i’ll just change so no one can see.”

peter winds an arm around one of your legs, body relaxing ever so slightly under your touch. “okay.” he gives your thigh one final kiss, then rests his chin on it. “what about your neck?” “uh...” you hadn’t considered that yet. “makeup? a scarf?” you’ve seen enough tv to know neither of those work, but they’re your only options.

“yup. mr. stark is really gonna kill me now,” peter says under his breath, tensing up all over again. you furrow your eyebrows at him. “what? we’re literally grown adults, we can do whatever we want-“

tony claps loudly as he steps into the kitchen, announcing his return home. peter jumps up from between your legs faster than fast. he moves so he’s next to you, and you hop down from the counter.

“hello, daughter of mine. spider of man,” your dad greets you two, you pulling down your shorts with a plastered on smile. “or would it be man of spider?” he plucks an apple from the bowl on the table as he ponders his question. steve and wanda file into the room next. “second one,” peter replies, grinning a little too much to be normal. tony takes note of that.

wanda comes over to the fridge for a snack, which is close to where you and peter are. “how was last night?” you ask her to take the attention off you two. wanda settles on a yogurt and turns to you. “it was good. we shared a few hotel rooms, had our own party.” she glances over at peter, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. “seems like you two had a fun night of your own.”

peter’s mouth drops open. “how did you-“ he forgot she could read his mind and now knows everything that happened. you slap a hand over your forehead. “you couldn’t think about anything else? for, like, a minute?” you whisper yell at him. he uses his eyes to plead with you. “i’m sorry! i was looking at the hickeys-“ he realizes what he’s saying. “crap.”

shooting you a wink, wanda shuts the fridge and goes to join the rest of the team in the living room. lucky for you and peter, steve started lecturing tony about washing his fruit before he eats it. he didn’t hear any of that. there’s still the problem of your visible hickeys that you have zero seconds to hide.

“how the fuck am i supposed to cover these? they’re right in the center, peter!” you panic, your heart starting to race as peter fumbles for a dish towel. that’s the best he could come up with? “no!” you toss it back at him. he throws it on the counter with a pained look. tony and steve make their way over to you.

“oh, hush. a couple of deadly pesticides won’t shake me, stevey boy,” tony insists and takes another big bite of his apple. steve huffs in disapproval and crosses his arms. “you’re a big baby, tony. if you’re not gonna do the right thing, at least buy organic-“ with the world’s longest sigh, tony chucks his apple into the open garbage can.

“there. no more apple discourse.” steve shakes his head at your dad’s behavior. “that was a waste. you could’ve finished it.” “not with your nagging into my literal ear.” steve raises his hands in surrender before making his way out of the kitchen. tony side steps past him and over to you. “enough of that now. let’s have a welcome home hug from my girl.”

you share a look with peter, a look of pure fear that’s in both of your eyes. he’ll definitely notice the hickeys if he gets that close to you. he holds out his arms expectantly while peter scratches the back of his own neck. “sure, dad. welcome home.” an awkward smile on your lips, you bury your face in your dad’s chest and wrap your arms around him in one motion. this way, he didn’t have time to see you from too close up.

peter exhales in relief at the narrowly avoided disaster. that’s until tony makes a request. “missed me that much, kiddo, huh? come out of there.” “but, i’m so comfortable. i wanna stay like this,” you insist, a niceness to your voice tony immediately sees through. he drops his arms from around you, eyeing peter suspiciously, who averts his gaze to the floor.

“nuh uh, you did something. both of you,” your dad states, taking a step to stand between you and peter. peter gulps down a breath before speaking. “mr. stark, it was-“ tony holds up a hand. “don’t worry, kid. i’ll figure it out.”

he gives peter a proper stare, searching him for clues of some sort. it’s a good thing he isn’t wanda because the details of your night would have been exposed. he couldn’t find anything, so now it’s your turn. he’s a little disappointed you’re the one hiding something.

“oh, y/n. not you,” tony sighs as he gives you a looking over. he starts with your face, your eyes following down as his do. it’s when he gets just past your chin that he sees them. the little hickeys littering your skin, some already deep shades of purple. he rips off his glasses in disbelief.

“absolutely not.” he closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with the same hand his glasses are in. “i’m not seeing this. i’m not seeing this if i don’t look.” you scoff at his reaction. “dad, you know we’re together. you can’t expect us to not...” “don’t say it,” tony begs, getting the urge to hurl his half eaten apple. he turns and faces peter.

“parker, you really did all of that?” peter only blinks, nervously meeting the eyes of his mentor. “to my daughter?” tony adds on to scare him even more. “i- i-“ a burst of frustration comes out of peter. “you left two teenagers alone the whole night. what’d you think was gonna happen?” he’s shocked at his own words, his face showing it. tony raises his eyebrows. both your hands cover your mouth.

not wanting to deal with peter, tony addresses you instead. “i don’t care how you do it, cover those up. don’t let me see them ever again. understood?” you nod a good amount of times and reach for peter’s hand. he’s about to give it, then tony glares down at what’s happening. peter pulls back immediatelty. “understood. we’ll, um, do better next time,” you agree, tony winching at the idea of a next time.

“you, parker... treat a lady with a little more respect, eh?” tony clicks his tongue at him. he’s referring to all the hickeys. peter’s lips form a line, a sarcastic one that says oh well. “i tried, mr. stark, but y/n wanted me to-“ “christ, that’s enough.” tony furiously shakes his head and starts to walk away from you two. “never again!”

you’re thanking god when he sets off for the living room, you hiding your face in peter’s chest, his face in your hair. “that was terrible. that was the worst thing ever,” you say into him. “i’m sorry, baby. we gotta be more careful.”

it’s not over yet because then, the toaster dings. you’d completely forgotten about the waffles. you and peter both separate with your millionth shared look of terror. tony comes rushing back into the room, very familiar with that noise.

“first you destroy my daughter, now my toaster? pete... you’re in for it, kid.”

[victimized-martyr]

Hey there! If you’re still doing the ask thing, hm, maybe 33, 19, and 9?

(Also just gonna say you have really funny, neat headcanons!)

Aw! thanks lolol. I like makin myself laugh when coming up with kyman stuff so I'm happy to hear you like 'em too.

Anways *sigh*. I don't know the meaning of brevity ok here we goooooo

33. what is an episode/moment from the show (or a game) that you consider to have very kyman-undertones, yet NO ONE ever talks about it? (UNDERRATED KYMAN MOMENT(S))

I wouldn’t say it’s underrated, but it’s recent so it doesn’t have the attention that other moments have garnered. Help My Teenager Hates me is such a good kyman episode. Kyle takes the first shot. Cartman gets hissy about it and fights back with his words. Kyle, in demonstration of his fiery temperament, shoots unnecessary amounts of paintball bullets. Cartman has no choice to surrender... for the moment. Cause Cartman catches Kyle off guard, honing his energy on one, harsher blow. Like, that’s been their dynamic for decades! Kyman’s dynamic is expressed in a way I’d never thought could be succinct! I’m so happy with this episode.

I’m not surprised he picked up on his tears with lightning speed. Kyle’s always been in tune with Cartman’s emotions. He’s the cartman whisperer fr. Love this episode to death.

Kyle putting on concealer and Gerald covering for him like it’s a damn scandalous hickey and not a bruise. “hE’s eXpIrimEnTinG” oh my fucking god, mattrey.

“Kyle and Cartman hate each other” Why the hell they talkin like friends and engaging in friendly banter when they come across each other at the store then. Check and mate, hoes. (jk jk lol. I just love the reminder that at the end of the day, they’re still friends)

19. do Liane and Sheila (& Gerald, I guess) approve of this relationship?

hm, For Liane, it's not a matter of approval or disapproval; she's fine with Cartman dating whoever he wants. When Cartman was dating Heidi, she stood to the side with little interference. She'll do the same here. In the unlikely even that he turns to her for advice, for example, asking what Kyle meant by “setting boundaries”, Liane would take the conversation…um.. into another direction: “Boundaries?? Aw poopsikins, well, I guess you’re old enough to start understanding this sort of thing. Now, one of the first thing about consent is establishing safewords..." I think all in all, she’d be relieved that someone headstrong and stubborn like Kyle is dating Cartman. He’s starting to put the dishes away! He’s not screaming at her to be at his beck and call! She has time to look for work!

Sheila would be cautious. She trusts Kyle, and it’s not an issue of liking Cartman or not (because Cartman knows how to suck up to adults, and she’s happily had tea with him during the show), it’s more a worry that Kyle and Cartman will make good decisions in their relationship. I envision Sheila as the type of mom who takes dating very seriously, like, the mentality of “dating for marriage” kinda deal. Her extensive lectures on consequences and communication won’t do well to assuage Kyle's neurotic tendencies. That’s where Gerald comes in.

Gerald’s a dick, kay, he’s got a lot in common with Cartman and can see through his sons’ boyfriend’s bs like THAT. Above that though, he’s a family man who knows how to dish out sage advice. Gerald will set Kyle aside and encourage him to “yes, listen to Sheila, but also, don’t navigate so piously that you forget to have fun. And hey, lighten up. Don’t date Cartman to fix him. That’s not how it works, kiddo.” He can’t say for sure if they’ll last, but if Kyle really likes being with Cartman for who he is, then it's fine. Gerald speaks to Kyle from the perspective of a sadistic asshole who fell in love with a self-righteous redhead with an explosive temper– and while Kyle may not make that connection, Gerald does, and he talks accordingly. He makes a note to do what he can to help Kyle out when their relationship inevitably hits lows (yes, plural, because it’s his son. and it’s Eric T. Cartman.)

Wahh!! I went too into detail gfkjdhgkjdf but in honesty, I see it as a more complicated issue than a matter of approval or not.

9. who’s the more affection one?

Outwardly? In terms of physicality? Cartman. He’s so shameless that he’ll make out anywhere, anytime, if Kyle so much as asked. He’ll call him pet names. He’ll STILL buy those couple outfits. He’ll find any excuse to be in contact with Kyle in some capacity. He’ll make grand gestures, and those are his favorite because not only does he get attention from others, he get the coveted double whammy of humiliating AND doting on Kyle. Some might say Cartman’s affection is shallow, that he has a juvenile view of love. Arguably, the affection is there, he just doesn’t realize to what capacity. All he knows is that he finally has Kyle, so he will express himself when emotions arise. It’s very ‘spur of the moment’.

[marvelouspeterparker]

professor’s sweetheart

pairing: professor!tom holland x student!reader

summary: professor holland teaches british literature at your university. you hadn’t expected much when you signed up for the course, but the experience is everything and more than you could have hoped for. 

word count: 15.1k

warnings: there is smut in here but it’s not the main focus (wild, i know)

notes: uh yeah i’d say just don’t fuck your professor? this is purely fictional. be safe, you know how it is <3

also she wrote a professor!harry styles fic, but if i hadn’t read that (over and over) i probably wouldn’t have been inspired to write this. so check out @songbirdstyles​ !

i listened to this playlist while writing it if ur interested :)

give me feedback please!!

“What class do you have next?” Your friend, and roommate Liz asked. You were both walking out of the cafeteria. It was 1:15, you had just finished lunch and you had fifteen minutes until your next class. You pushed the doors open together and braced yourselves as the cool late September breeze hit you, blowing your jackets open. You put both sides of the jacket together in front of you and crossed your arms to block the cold out. 

“Um,” you thought back for a moment, the cold temporarily knocking your senses right out of you. “British Literature.”

If you were being honest, you had taken this course because it fulfilled one of your requirements, but in the end it felt like one of the most rewarding parts of your college experience so far. The material was interesting, and instead of being bored out of your mind throughout the whole hour and a half of class––it was actually entertaining. You had your professor to thank for that.

“Oooh,” Liz twisted her lips to the side to suppress a knowing smile, but the look in her eyes gave it away. “With Professor Holland?” She asked, batting her eyelashes innocently. 

You rolled your eyes and bit your tongue to hide your smile. “Yes,” you shoved her playfully to the side making her step in a pile of leaves, the crunch under boots loud as ever as it carried through the crisp air. “Shut up.”

You and Liz had been roommates since your first year at university and had now spent four, coming up on five semesters rooming together. Luckily, you really hit it off, and easily fell into a routine together, forming a bond as you ate lunch and dinner together, studied in the library, had dance parties in your dorm, and more. You knew each other inside and out, often having random late night conversations while you procrastinated your work or couldn’t sleep, about literally anything and everything. Bottom line is, you trusted each other, which is why she knew about your sort-of-crush on Professor Holland. 

To be fair everyone had a thing for him, he was just that kind of guy. He was sweet and compassionate and funny. Professor Holland was one of those genuine professors who sincerely cared about their students and their well-beings. He was incredibly understanding. He’d schedule dozens of meetings with his students all in one day just because he wanted to help and make sure they were all alright. He liked to check in every now and then, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

From what you could tell he also seemed like a people person. No matter who he was with, whether it was a student, his teaching assistant Jacob, or his fellow professors––he was always attentive, cracking jokes, enjoying the conversation. Everyone seemed to love him. But you could also tell that a part of him was just a tad bit cocky, but in a joking and love-able way. 

All this goes to show that you spent way too much time thinking about him, and observing him, which could either be seen as really endearing or really creepy. 

“Look I’m just saying,” Liz shrugged, “Enjoy the class.” She nudged you, “I know I would.”

Realizing you were approaching the writing and arts center, and Liz’s next class was in the building across the street, you sent her off. “Yeah yeah, okay. Bye.” You tightened your arms around you and scurried off, skipping a crack in the sidewalk and walking up the steps to the building. You opened the door and were immediately welcomed by a rush of warm air and let out a sigh, rubbing your hands together as you made your way to the lecture hall. 

You pulled your phone out and checked the time, 1:22. You still had 8 minutes to spare. You were still walking and only glanced up from your phone right as you were about to walk into the door and were stopped suddenly when you crashed into a hard chest. You immediately felt two warm hands grasp your arms to steady you and were suddenly enveloped by the smell of tea and mint. 

“Woah! I’m sorry, love, are you alright?”

You froze as you looked up, feeling very much like a deer in headlights as you realized you quite literally crashed into your professor. “Oh––um,” you swallowed, suddenly feeling like the air was escaping you. You cleared your throat trying to save yourself from anymore embarrassment. “I’m fine––I’m sorry, that was my fault. I wasn’t looking––” You paused when you noticed the small smile on his face, his warm eyes making you forget what you were going to say.

“It’s alright, Y/N. It was partially my fault as well, I was too focused on––” he seemed to snap out of some trance, straightening himself up as his hands dropped back down to his sides and into his pockets. “Uh, well that’s not important.” He pulled one hand out of his pocket––he was wearing those blue slacks that you thought made his thighs look great, respectfully, of course. He checked the time on his watch and you had to stop yourself from ogling the veins in his arms as he did so. 

He looked up at you, brows furrowed playfully and you actually had to remind yourself to breathe. “You’re almost ten minutes early. You that eager to see me?” He ended his question with a teasing smirk and your mouth opened and closed a few times before you managed to string together a response.

“I––um, I just really like this class and you––you’re my favorite professor.” You blurted out, your cheeks heating up as you realized what you just admitted. You had to force your eyes to go back to their normal size after they practically bulged at the realization of what you said. “And I mean, I just happened to get here early so...I thought I might as well get settled in.”

Your professor cleared his throat, trying to hide his smile as he glanced down at his shoes for a moment then back up at you. “Well then.” He extended his arm, pointing towards the open door of the hall and stepped aside. “Please, after you.” 

You gave him a small smile in return along with a quiet thank you and stepped through the door. But before you could walk over to your seat, you felt him lean over behind you to talk lowly in your ear. He was standing a respectably close distance, but his presence was so overwhelming it was as though you felt him everywhere. His breath caressed the smooth skin of your cheek as he spoke. 

“I’m technically not allowed to have favorites, but I do appreciate that you enjoy having me as your professor, darling.” It shouldn’t have had such an effect on you, really, it shouldn’t have. But something about him referring to himself by his title really did something to you. You took a sharp inhale as you stood up straight, your whole body on high alert as you turned your head towards him, your eyes refusing to look at his and instead finding solace in the fabric of his navy blue button up––which he’d rolled up to his forearms. 

“And if it means anything, I rather do enjoy having you in my class as well.” You snuck a peek at him, lifting your gaze slowly and only caught a glimpse of his soft lips as he smiled before walking over to his desk. 

You felt your heart pounding in your chest as you walked up the steps to your usual spot in the middle row, near the aisle. Your legs felt like they were going to give out any minute, and the man hadn’t even touched you––well not in the way you wanted him to, anyway. But enough of that. 

You checked your phone again, trying to calm down your heartbeat as you took in a deep breath, 1:28. People started shuffling into the class, the overlapping sounds of chatter and laughter rupturing the energy the room had when it was just the two of you. At 1:32 Professor Holland started the class, getting everyone’s attention smoother than anyone should be able to. You could almost feel everyone’s eyes focusing on him, some weren’t even listening to him, they were just so entranced by how good he looked and the way he sounded––his accent was just so endearing, you had to admit it. 

The hour and a half went by rather quickly but today you were more aware of yourself, of Professor Holland––even more than usual. It seemed as though his eyes would travel to your direction more often, after he made jokes as if to see your reaction, or while he paused in his speeches. 

At the end of the class, despite there being dozens of other students moving around you, you felt as though your professor was watching you as you made your way out of the room. But it had to be your imagination, there was just no way. 

When you got back to your dorm, Liz still wasn’t back yet so you decided to take a shower and spend some time relaxing. You had already done your work for the next day and your other work for the rest of the week––well, you decided you’d do it later. 

You changed into sweats after your shower and hopped on your bed, deciding to switch between your apps for an hour or so––honestly you’d lost track of time. Liz strolled in soon after, closing the door with a loud groan, throwing her bag on the floor.

You smiled, looking up at her from your lying position on the bed. “Hello to you too.”

She grumbled in response, finally looking at you. When she noticed you were already wearing your pajamas she pointed to you, her brows raised. “Good idea!” She immediately went to her drawers and picked out a random pair of sweats and an oversized sweatshirt, changing with lightning speed for someone who was sluggishly groaning not even a minute before. 

She grabbed her phone and sat on her bed opposite yours, cross-legged, facing you. She looked at your face for a few seconds before squinting her eyes at you. “You have something to say. Spill.”

You rolled your eyes, a smile on your face. 

She looked at you pointedly, “Well go on.” 

So you told her about your encounter with the infamous brit today, how you bumped into him, what he said to you, the glances he sent your way. When you finished recounting everything you took a deep breath, “But––this could all just be in my head you know, just me overreacting.”

She stared at you with a dead expression. “Are you fucking dumb?”

“Hey!”

She ignored you, rolling her eyes while she tried not to laugh. “Dude he totally wants to fuck you.” She said nonchalantly.

Your eyes bulged, “W–What do you––What?” 

“Oh please, it’s so obvious.”

You opened your mouth but when nothing came out, you paused and looked down at the carpet. After a few moments you looked back up at her to find her with a knowing smirk on her face. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am, when am I not?” When you were about to speak, she interrupted you. “Don’t answer that. But look, it seems like he’s into you. I think you should hit that.”

“But we––that’s not allowed!” You paused, “Is it?”

She laughed, “A ha! So you do want to!”

“Oh shut up, you already knew that. Everyone wants to, it’s not a big deal.”

She made a face, “Yes, but you’re the only one who actually has a chance at getting it.” 

You looked at her, a skeptical look on your face. “Even if that was true––he’s still my professor…”

She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah but it’s not like it’s in the handbook or anything. Plus, you’re both legal adults, so. There you have it. You’re free to bone.”

“You did not just say that.”

“But I did.” She smiled, lying down in her bed. “You really could, though. Just don’t tell anybody.” When you didn’t say anything else, she spoke up. “Okay I’m gonna take a nap now. You have a lot to think about.” 

You ignored the last part and went back to your phone, “Yeah you do that.” 

Throughout the rest of the afternoon and night you couldn’t stop thinking about this whole situation. This was bad...Or was it? It seemed all too complicated, that was for sure. You weren’t even sure he looked at you or thought of you that way. 

You fell asleep playing all the pros and cons of hypothetically getting with him, your mind an endless loop of your professor, his voice, how he sounded when he practically whispered that he liked being your teacher. This was all too much.

❊❊❊❊

All of your senses were in overdrive. All you could feel were the hands tracing every curve of your body, playing you like a toy they’d made themselves. The tongue, teeth and lips following and leaving marks everywhere the hands traced. All you could hear was that sweet, rough voice telling you praises and calling you endearing names as your whole body shivered from the pleasure. Your eyes locked in on the ones staring up at you with pure hunger and awe as you ground yourself down on his cock.

“That’s it darling, just like that. You’re doing so good for me.” His lips curved into that oh so familiar smirk. “I taught you well, didn’t I?”

You woke up sweaty, your shirt sticking to your torso, a wet patch on your panties, your nipples pebbled in the cool air of your dorm room. A sex dream. Of course you had a fucking sex dream about him. Fuck. You were just lucky that your next class with him was on Thursday so you didn’t have to see him today. Because that would not help you at all. 

You checked the time on your phone, squinting at the brightness before turning it all the way down, 10am. You got out of bed with a groan and took your toiletries bag and your towel to the bathroom, deciding to take a shower this morning, instead of later on at night. Lord knows you certainly needed one. A cold one too.

You were frustrated, frustrated with yourself for feeling this way about your professor––sure, he was only a few years older than you, but it was the principle of the matter––frustrated that you were overthinking this entire thing, and most importantly you were annoyed because you were extremely horny. 

When you got into the bathroom, you locked the door and set your stuff down. You put your hands on both sides of the sink and looked at yourself in the mirror. Who are we and what happened? You sighed and grabbed your toothbrush, brushing your teeth quickly and aggressively, since everything seemed to be a hassle this morning. You’d hoped that once you hopped in the shower, you’d calm down. 

When you made your way inside, you sighed contently at the feeling of the warm water pattering against your skin, freshening you up immediately. Your nipples were still hard, between your legs still wet. So you brought a hand down between your thighs, the other to your breast as you stood under the water––almost as though the water was washing away the sinful act and thoughts right at the source. You laughed at the thought, nope, nothing can wash this away. 

You squeezed your breast and tugged at your nipple, rubbing your sensitive bud just the way you liked. You were still sensitive from...your dream, so it didn’t take long for everything to build up. You couldn’t help yourself, your mind brought back the remnants of last night that you remembered, the way his hands gripped you when he steadied you, the way his arms looked, and you came with a whimper that was louder than you would have liked. You bit your lip, closing your eyes and resting your head back on the tiles as the water continued to fall on you. 

When you came back to your dorm, Liz was on her way out but she stopped, raising her brows at you, “So have you come to a conclusion?”

You walked past her into the dorm, “Go to class, Liz.” You heard her cackle down the hallway as you closed the door. 

You got dressed casually, not rushing since there was nowhere for you to go and decided to go to the local cafe near the school. You needed to clear your head and get some work done, and you definitely would not get any of it done in your dorm. Not today, anyway. 

You checked the weather and seeing that it was a little warmer today, you put a sweatshirt on, grabbed your bag along with your phone and your laptop and you were on your way. The breeze felt refreshing this morning as you stepped out of your dorm. Your walk to the cafe was only ten or so minutes but it felt good. 

Stepping into the little shop, you were immediately hit by the aroma of coffee and sweets, surrounded by the sound of light chatter and utensils clattering on the wooden tables. The warm light above you brought a sense of comfort as you made your way over to the counter. The line was rather short so you managed to order your usual drink and snack quickly. As you were waiting for the cashier to hand you your things, your eyes scanned the shop––the ambience was rather nice and the talking almost felt like background noises. You wouldn’t mind staying here to work.

As you gathered your things, you turned around in search of a free table––which would be the deciding factor in whether or not you would stay, you did not want to awkwardly share the small table space with some stranger. You took a few steps into the seating area and almost choked on your breath when you made eye contact with the last person you wanted to see today. 

He smiled charmingly at you, teeth and all and quickly made his way over before you even had a chance to think of escaping. “Y/N!” He stood in front of you, his eyes bright. He was actually happy to see you? He was always happy to see everyone, it didn’t mean anything. 

His voice snapped you out of your annoyingly loud thoughts.  “Fancy seeing you here.” He nudged you playfully, “How are you?” He was wearing a very tight white button up that was unbuttoned until the third, showing a generous amount of his chest, a grey suit and pants, along with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. It took you a few more seconds than it should have to process that there were actual words coming out of his mouth.  

You forced a smile onto your face but the more you looked into his eyes, the more genuine it became, almost impossible to wipe off. “I’m good. Was just grabbing breakfast before I start my work. You?”

He raised his cup, “Same as you. Have a bit of time before my next class.” 

You noticed that you couldn’t tell what exactly was in the cup and your curiosity got the better of you. You pointed to the cup clasped in his fingers, “Is that coffee?”

He furrowed his brows in mock offense, “I only drink tea, darling.” He leaned his upper body forward to whisper to you, his cheek almost touching yours, “I’d think you would know that about your favorite professor.” He tutted playfully as he stood up straight again, watching you, a look that you couldn’t quite pinpoint in his eyes as he watched you over his cup, taking a teasingly long sip. 

You looked up at him, your mouth slightly open, not a clue what to respond. When he pulled the cup away from his mouth he looked down at you, his gaze drifting down and you’d never felt more exposed, despite the fact that you were wearing two layers of clothing. “I like your sweatshirt.” He smiled, glancing down at it before looking directly into your eyes, his head lowered slightly.

Your eyes widened in surprise and your head snapped down to see your spiderman sweatshirt looking back at you boldly. Oh––Oh. You lifted your head back up to find him still smiling at you softly, he didn’t seem to be teasing you at all. “Um thanks.” You could feel your cheeks heating up, despite the cool air that swept your legs as someone opened the door to the cafe. “Are you uh–– a marvel fan?” 

He pursed his lips playfully, “Yeah,” his hand came up to rub the back of his neck, “Yeah you could say that.” He licked his lips and took another sip of his drink.

Your eyes, with a mind of their own, trailed down the column of his throat, following the vein on the side of his neck, the way his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed the warm liquid. The action almost seemed provocative, in both meanings of the term. 

Suddenly you felt very hot and you knew that you had to get out of there before you made a fool of yourself in front of everyone, but most importantly him. You perked up, “I uh––I have to go professor, but it was nice talking with you. See you tomorrow!” With that you quite literally ran off, wincing as you turned around, having noticed the way his lips parted as if to speak, a furrow between his brows appearing out of confusion and concern. You really had to get control of yourself. 

You practically berated yourself as you speed walked away. God, that was so stupid. And not to mention, incredibly rude! He’d probably be upset with you now, or maybe even mad. It’s just––unbelievable what he did to you, without even actually doing anything. It took you the entire walk there to realize that you unconsciously made your way back to your dorm––so much for the library. But you’d had enough social interaction for today, so you decided you’d stay there.

You got in your bed and buried yourself under the covers, deciding you needed the comfort of being hidden in your mattress after the embarrassment you’d just experienced. You lied there just staring at the plain, white ceiling for way too long until you let out a loud huff and sat up, before grabbing your computer to start your work. 

Deciding to check your college email before you started, since they were incessant and it was easy to miss something, you scanned down the list of messages in your inbox. Your eyes skimmed through the boxes on the left of your screen, notifications that your professors left feedback on your assignments, the weekly newsletter, club events, a message from Holland, Tom––

You shut your computer immediately, eyes bulging as you held your breath. You swallowed thickly, as you stared into nothing in front of you, your eyes barely taking in anything, your mind a big ball of fuzz. 

After taking a few deep breaths, and telling your overdramatic brain to calm down, you opened the laptop again. Biting your lip, you hovered your mouse over the message, reading over the small bits of information you could see in the preview.

Holland, Tom

Just checking in

Hi Y/N, I just wanted to make  …

You could feel your heart beating through your chest. Oh God––Wanted to make sure what?? The sensible part of your brain said to just open it to figure it out for yourself. But the irrational, idiotic part of your brain was yelling at you to not open it under any circumstance. What if he wanted to make sure you didn’t get the wrong idea? Did he know how you felt about him? Were you that obvious? Maybe he thinks you’re clinically insane and wants to make sure you’re getting the attention you need? You did run off like a crazy person, after all. 

You shut your eyes tight and groaned loudly into your hands. Liz walked in and whistled lowly, taking in everything in front of her. You looked up, confused and looked at the time, realizing it had already been two hours since you first left the dorm, meaning she was done with her classes for the day.

“What’s up?” She took a seat at her desk, propping her legs on the table as she leaned back.

You waved her off, deciding it would be best to let this blow over and ignore it for now. You’d go back when you were in the right state of mind. 

She started telling you about her day and annoyingly, your brain decided today would be the day that it would not shut off. Your brows were furrowed as you tried your best to focus on what your friend was saying, but she wasn’t even looking in your direction, staring up into the air above her as she spoke animated, hands waving around, so she didn’t even notice you struggling to pay attention. 

Your eyes kept flitting back to the screen of your computer, your fingers swiping across the trackpad to turn it back on when the screen’s brightness lowered every now and then. 

Liz looked back at you and stopped her spiel. “Alright what’s up with you?” 

You sighed deeply and looked up at her. “Sorry, sorry. I just––I saw Professor Holland today––”

“Already?” She interrupted you, a goofy smile on her face. “Damn, you work fast.”

You threw the nearest pillow at her, “Shut up! I didn’t fuck him.”

“You should’ve.” She pointed out, holding the pillow to her chest. 

You glared at her until she raised her hands in surrender, then continued, your eyes bouncing from object to object in the room as you babbled. 

“I went to the cafe and I saw him and he came over to me and we started talking––and he whispered in my ear and he was joking around with me and he sipped his tea and he was super close to me and super hot, and I couldn’t handle it so I basically ran off without giving him a chance to say bye.” You took a deep breath, “And then he sent me an email after I saw him and I still haven’t opened it because I’m scared and I don’t know what he said…” You took another breath and looked at your friend, blinking as she just stared at you.

After a moment, she spoke up. “Dude just open the email.”

Your eyes widened almost in offense. “Did you not listen to anything I just said?”

“Yeah you practically fucked in the cafe then you got scared and ran away.” She spoke nonchalantly and you could tell she was fighting off a smile. “Look, eventually you have to open the email anyway, you can’t just ignore it. So just do it and rip the bandaid off.” You were about to speak up when she interrupted you, “I promise it won’t be half as bad as you think. We both know your mind is absolutely filled with the craziest ideas.” 

You huffed and fell back down on the bed, not bothering to argue since you both knew she was right. 

“Shit, I’m starving.” She looked at the time, “Yeah it’s about time for me to eat food.” She stood up, “Come on, let’s go.”

“Can you please get something for me?” She knew you well enough that you didn’t have to tell her what to get. You gave her your best smile and shrugged your shoulders.

“Are you serious.” She looked at you, deadpan, standing like the little emoji of the woman standing in place with her arms at her sides. 

You had to suppress your smile, “What if I see him?” You asked incredulously, lying further in the covers. “I’d rather stay in here and hide, for now.”

“You have class with him tomorrow––”

“That’s why I said for now.”

She cracked a smile, rolling her eyes as she grabbed her things, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Love you!”

“Yeah yeah,” she waved her hand and walked out the door. 

A few moments passed after Liz left and you sat up yet again, putting your computer on your lap as you swiped the trackpad, making the screen light up again. You checked the time, it had been almost an hour since he sent the email, you really shouldn’t make him wait any longer. Not that he’s waiting at all, he probably didn’t even notice that you hadn’t responded.

You inhaled and exhaled slowly, swallowed your nerves and clicked on the email. 

Holland, Tom

Just checking in

Hi Y/N, 

I just wanted to make sure everything was alright. You seemed kind of stressed when you left earlier and I’m hoping it wasn’t because of anything I did. Can we check in tomorrow in my office? Hope everything is going well. 

Warmest Regards,

Professor Holland

He wanted to meet tomorrow after class. In his office. Alone. 

Oh, fuck. You could hear Liz in your head going Yes, fuck. But you quickly shoved her aside. 

You read over the email about five times to make sure you weren’t misinterpreting anything, because that would be even more embarrassing. You clicked the reply button and slowly wrote out your response.

Hi Professor Holland,

Everything is fine, but thank you for asking, I appreciate the concern. I’m free tomorrow after class if you’re available then.

Thank you!

Y/N

You hit send and not even two minutes later, you received a response. 

Hi Y/N,

Perfect! I’ll see you then :)

Warmly,

Professor Holland

How on earth were you supposed to focus on your work now? More importantly, how were you going to focus in class tomorrow?

❊❊❊❊

The next day, the butterflies in your stomach would not calm down. When you stepped into the class, he was talking to another student and you tried to sneak past to your seat unnoticed. You thought you’d succeeded but once you sat down and looked up, you made direct eye contact with him and you swear you stopped breathing. You barely even recognized the sound of everyone moving around you, getting ready for class to start. 

He parted his lips and reluctantly turned back to the student still talking to him, snapping out of his daze, but not after glancing back at you. You swallowed and sank down in your seat. This was going to be a long class. 

At 1:35, class started. Professor Holland stood up and clasped his hands, making his way to the middle of the floor in front of everybody, his voice reverberating through the room. 

“Good afternoon everybody. Hope you’re all doing well.” His eyes found yours and you bit your lip nervously. You could see him swallow as he watched you, before moving his gaze elsewhere. Was that because of you? Surely, it had to be a coincidence. Maybe you made him uncomfortable. Oh great––

He went on, seemingly unfazed, eyes darting back to you subtly before continuing. The discussion soon turned to the book you’d just been assigned to read. The book was rather lengthy but there were always so many things to talk about within only a few pages––which you loved, so it was taking you all a while to go through everything together in class. 

The conversations often took up a lot of the class time since Professor Holland simply loved talking and he always found everyone’s interpretations interesting and worth exploring––eager to hear our classmates perspectives. He also often said that he was not good at using technology, so he preferred to just talk and show rather than use his computer. Honestly, you found it endearing.

The conversations were always interesting to listen to, people never failed to give you insight on things you hadn’t even thought of before, but sometimes––some people were just a little stupid.

Someone brought up a slightly sexist point that made absolutely no sense but since you weren’t the one to call someone out in front of a room full of people, you stuck to your facial reactions instead of audibly responding. You turned back to the front of the class to see Professor Holland’s opinion to find that he was watching you, trying and failing to suppress his smile. 

He put both hands in his pockets which you found ironic considering they would jump out any time soon––he loved to talk with his hands. His eyes got serious, the smile on his face a little less friendly as he addressed the sophomore who made the comment. “I don’t know if you’re aware of how ludicrously sexist that comment you just made was, but now you know.” He turned to the rest of the class. “Remember to think before you speak. This isn’t to necessarily call anyone out. It’s a warning. Senseless remarks will not only affect my view of you, but your grades as well.” 

He went on and tried to shape the boy’s comment into something appropriate to discuss and you honestly couldn’t focus on anything else he said, you were just looking at him in awe and in shock. Sure, this was the bare minimum, but since it was so rare to see, it was very noticeable and even impressive when you noticed it.

God, you adored this man.

Near the end of class, he announced the next assignment, a paper you’d have to write about a comparison you made between any point in the story, a character, a theme, a hidden meaning, etc. and something in our modern reality, a social norm, a popular belief, etc. Your essays were always very open ended in this class, giving you room to write about almost anything you wanted to. Your professor knew that the assignments would be more enjoyable if there was some choice involved. He truly was good at his job. 

“Look, reading’s hard sometimes, I get it. I’m dyslexic, so trust me, I understand. But I never let that stop me.” He paused to look around the room and it was so silent you could hear each other’s inhales and exhales. The power he had over a room full of around one hundred people was insane, and in a weird way, also turned you on. “I know the book is massive. Listen to the audio books if you have to, I don’t mind. But get the work done either way. It’s not for me, it’s for you. I want you to get the best grade you can in this class.”

“Bring me interesting material. I don’t want to fall asleep reading your work.” He joked and smiled proudly when laughter filled the room. “The essay is due in two weeks. Good luck.”

There were a few thank you’s and goodbyes scattered around the room as he sent everyone off, people scurrying from all sides to the exits. 

You took your time gathering all your things and took a deep breath when the last few people made their way out, silence soon surrounding the both of you. You put your bag over your shoulder and walked down the carpeted steps, suddenly finding the dark grey pattern to be the most interesting things you’ve ever seen––and also watching your steps so that you don’t fall down them in front of him. You could barely hear the soft patter of your shoes as you walked down. When you finally got the main floor you looked up and saw him waiting for you patiently, things in his hands, a smile on his face. 

“Let’s go then, shall we?” You nodded shyly and he led the way, his office only a hallway away from the lecture hall. You found it slightly odd that he didn’t try to make conversation on your way there, since he always loved to. But you tried not to think too hard about it. Maybe he was just tired. 

When you reached his office, he opened the door and let you walk in first. Your eyes immediately scanned the room out of curiosity as you stepped inside, noticing his desk, the wood a dark mahogany which was covered with stacks of papers, picture frames, pens, and a few marvel funko pops––so he really was a fan. You’d never actually been inside of his office before. It was an intimidating thought for you to be in his office with him, alone. You just didn’t want to embarrass yourself. 

You turned to him and gestured to the chair across from his desk, “Do I just––”

“Please,” he interrupted eagerly. “Make yourself comfortable.” 

You took a seat and he set his things down next to his desk before sitting as well. His hair was coiffed to perfection today, curls sculpted nicely, a dark blue suit on his body with a black shirt underneath. He took off the suit jacket and put it on the back of his chair and you could see his veins and muscles bulging and shifting in his arms as he moved. He clasped his hands in front of him on the desk and wow he had nice fingers. You really had to get a grip on yourself––

“How was class today for you? Well, besides that one disappointing comment.”

You smiled, “I always enjoy the class, but yeah that was uh, disappointing as you said.

“I think your interpretations are always very insightful and very interesting. It’s almost a shame that you don’t share them with the whole class but part of me likes it that we keep them between us.” Oh? “Plus, I know how scary it can be talking in front of all those people. I almost shit myself first time I taught that class––”

You let out a surprised laughter and he couldn’t help laugh as well. 

“Shit, sorry! I mean––” He sighed, “Language, sorry. I’m British.” He shrugged, “Can’t help it.”

You shook your head, “It’s okay. Personally I think curse words spice up conversations.” You smiled proudly when he laughed at your joke. 

His smile radiated a more nervous energy after his laughter died off. “When you ran off yesterday, that wasn’t––was that because of me? Because if I did something to make you uncomfortable I’m so sorry.”

You tilted your head, trying to think of a way to explain. “No it wasn’t, well––it kind of was?” You had no idea why you would tell him this, but apparently your mouth was moving without agreeing with your mind first. 

There was almost a pout on his face and you had the sudden urge to reach over the table and smooth it out with your lips. “It’s just, well––You make me just a little bit nervous, to be honest professor.” You looked down at your lap and back up at him timidly.

He raised his brows, “Oh––”

Your smile was strained and you wanted nothing more than to be swallowed whole by the floor. 

“Well that’s not a bad thing, is it?” He looked at you almost, hopefully?

You laughed, “No trust me, it’s not.” Your eyes widened at the realization of what you’d basically just admitted to him and you didn’t know if you should feel embarrassed or relieved when the smirk appeared on his face.

But the words that he uttered next cleared that up for you. “Well, if I’m honest, you make me nervous too, darling. And definitely not in a bad way.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, almost teasing you with how good he looked.

You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly feeling dry, crossing your legs, your thighs squeezing together, and he definitely noticed, his eyes trailing down your body as he licked his lips as well. 

The tension in the room was so thick but you found that you didn’t want to escape it, if anything you wanted to carve your way through it, stay for as long as you could until it snapped. 

Your professor spread his legs, his hands coming down to rub at his thighs as he watched you and the sound of your heartbeat pounding filled your ears. It was almost as if there was an unseen force pulling the two of you together, but before it could there was a knock at the door. 

The both of your heads snapped to the door to find it opening slowly. Jacob, Tom’s teaching assistant popped his head in. You had talked to him a few times, he was always very nice. He didn’t attend every class, but you guessed that he would be attending the next one. “Hey man.” He turned to you and smiled, “Oh hi Y/N.” You waved and let out a small hi in response. He turned back to the professor. “Your next class is starting like––” He looked at his watch. “Now.” 

“Shit, sorry man. Lost track of time.” He got up and you did too, smiling sheepishly as you grabbed your things, getting up from your seat. “I’ll be right there.” Jacob nodded and closed the door.

You both made your way over to the exit slowly, still reeling from what maybe could have happened and what you both obviously thought of. The silence was loud around you, but it wasn’t scary this time. 

“Let me know if you need any help with the upcoming assignment, alright? Don’t be afraid to stop by if you need to.” His gaze dropped down to your lips for a split second before reaching your eyes again. “For anything.” He looked at you with an expression you couldn’t describe but quickly tried to mask it with a smile as he opened the door for you, his eyes practically holding yours captive. 

“Thank you, professor. I will.” 

You stepped out and he watched you for a few moments before closing the door. You looked back, smiling as you caught his eye and as soon as he stepped back in the office, you practically ran out of the building and to your dorm, a stupid grin on your face. 

“Holy shit.”

❊❊❊❊

When you practically burst into your dorm room, scaring Liz half to death before you told her what happened, let’s just say she wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

“I fucking told you!” She flopped onto her bed, still staring at you pointedly as she did so, a smirk on her face. She pointed at you before dropping her hand down dramatically by her side. “You like, owe me a soda now or something.” 

You rolled your eyes but you were so giddy the smile still hadn’t dropped from your face. “Well I do owe you for getting me lunch yesterday, so maybe I will buy you one.”

❊❊❊❊

Over the weekend, you started working on the essay for British Literature and you were already about halfway done since the topic you chose actually interested you. But you found yourself questioning if you were writing it properly as you went on. You weren’t sure if it was because you wanted it to be near perfect since you’d found out he paid extra attention to you, or maybe you just wanted to talk to him again––you’d never know. 

After discussing with Liz, you decided you’d stop by his office on Monday afternoon once you were done with your classes. You knew he liked to stay in his office until late at night sometimes, he always said we could stop by whenever, if we needed something. So you decided to take advantage of that, shoving down your anxious thoughts and doing what you wanted. 

Liz may or may not have convinced you to wear a shirt that was––aesthetically pleasing, to put it, specifically in the chest area so you were more than eager to see your professor’s reaction. You were a little nervous, you didn’t want it to seem like you were trying too hard, but you thought you looked good in this shirt, and you had a right to feel good about yourself. Since it was a little chilly outside, you hid it under a sweatshirt for now.

You got to his office and found yourself staring at the dark wood, hesitating to knock on. After taking a deep breath you rapped your knuckles against the door. 

You heard a faint Come in! And you took a deep breath and opened the door slowly to find him sitting at his desk, “Hi Professor Holland.” He was finishing some notes on a student’s essay but his head snapped up immediately at the sound of your voice.

He dropped his pen and sat up, “Please,” he motioned to the seat across from his desk and you smiled gratefully before settling down. “What can I do for you? Everything alright?”

His eyes looked sincere and concerned and you could feel your insides melting a little bit. 

“I just––I really want to do well on this essay,” He nodded for you to continue, “But I’m just not sure if I’m going in the right direction.”

 He nodded understandingly, “Well let’s have a look, shall we?”

You reached down to grab your things when he stood up and walked past you, your eyes following him in confusion. He gestured to the couch, a somewhat impish smile on his face. “Just thought it would be more comfortable––and easier for us to look together, of course.”

You nodded, a small smile on your face as you picked up your bag and sat next to him on the couch. “Right, of course.” It was a loveseat so there wasn’t much room for either of you to distance yourselves.

You got out your computer and opened up the essay. You had already opened it before you got there, not wanting to have to awkwardly wait for it to load. Yes, you overthought things but––it helped sometimes. “I see you came prepared,” he joked and you couldn’t help but smile. He really did notice everything, didn’t he.

“Well I’m really confident about the topic of my essay, I think it’s interesting. But I feel like I may be adding too much into the paper, and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking things or if I should take some things out.” 

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. I meant it when I said I appreciate having you in my class, you know. I always love reading your work. You write well.” 

“Thank you, professor.” Though you saw his eyes darken at the title, he commented on it.

“You can call me Tom when we’re alone, darling. No need for formalities.”

“But I like calling you professor––” Your hand shot up to cover your mouth and you spoke before he could, ignoring his smile, “I mean um. Tom––Okay I can try that.”

His tongue passed under his teeth, a devilish smirk on his face as he watched you squirm under his gaze. “No you know, now I think professor is growing on me.”

You pursed your lips, rolling your eyes. “Prof––Tom.”

He raised his hands in surrender, “Alright alright.” 

“Why don’t you read it to me? It’s easier to see where you can improve when you hear it out loud.”

You swallowed nervously, nodding your head as you brought your laptop closer to you. “O––Okay.”

You started reading your paper out loud, voice becoming slightly steadier as you went on, two fingers scrolling up the trackpad. He made comments as you read, only praise––and with each compliment you felt yourself getting hotter. Very good. Always write so well. Nice point there. Mhm. Good girl, that’s an excellent point. He shifted his way closer to you gradually as you read on and when his thigh touched yours, you had to tell yourself not to jump from the contact.  

He placed his arm on the back of the couch, basically around your shoulder and you had to smush down the urge to throw your computer and climb into his lap. His thighs did look very inviting with the way he was sitting, though. 

He moved closer to you and you could feel his breath cascading down over your shoulder as he brought his hand to the trackpad, his arm over your thigh, fingers scrolling through to where he had a few suggestions. 

When he finished his few remarks, you could hear the proud smile in his voice. “See, I knew it wouldn’t be as bad as you thought. You’re a good writer...” He paused and you turned your head slightly to find his lips mere inches from yours, his eyes trained on your mouth. His words were barely a whisper when he spoke up again, “A good student.” You both leaned in slowly and his hand came up to hold your cheek lightly. “Bet you’d be a good girl for me too.” 

You gasped lightly and leaned forward, giving in and finally pressing your lips to his, both your hands grabbing his jaw. He moaned immediately, his body pressing into yours as you twisted to face him, his other hand coming around your waist to pull you in. You felt your laptop slipping off your thighs and squeaked, making the both of you laugh and pull away, flustered. 

“Careful, love.” Tom grabbed the computer and put it down on the floor gently, confirming that you saved your work before pushing the lid closed. 

The air in the room was hot, thanks to Tom in general, but also thanks to what you just did. So you pulled away and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Tom’s pout when he thought you were getting up to leave. Since there wasn’t much space on the couch, you stood up to take your hoodie off and you heard his breath hitch when his eyes fell upon the shirt you were wearing. “Christ-”

“Now what’s this?” Tom said almost to himself, his eyes staring at you in wonder and awe. “Never seen this little number before.” He noticed the clothes you wore? His hands were already aching to feel you again, reaching out for you subconsciously and you bit your lip to calm your smile as you sat back down, letting your sweater fall to the floor softly. 

“What, this old thing?” You joked, looking down at the shirt––yeah, you looked good. “You like it?” You looked up at him, a cheekily innocent look in your eyes.

He put his hands around your waist and pulled you into his lap, enjoying the gasp it elicited from you. You put your hands gingerly on his shoulders and the way he was looking up at you made you never want to leave this position ever again. You tilted your head and licked your lips and Tom couldn’t take it anymore, he kissed you again, hands gripping you firmly, anchoring you to him. He pulled away after a good while, wanting to look at you again, his lips parted, practically panting like an animal. You really had an effect on him, but he did the same to you. 

His eyes were taking you in, basically capturing a mental image for later. “God, you look heavenly, darling.” You squirmed in his lap and bit your lip when you felt a bulge growing underneath you. He leaned forward and left a trail of kisses on the tops of your breasts, leaving a few teasing nips and sucks here and there. You squealed, your hands coming up to run your fingers through his hair. You pulled his head up by his hair and the look in his eyes looked absolutely feral––like he wanted to eat you. 

You were about to lean in and kiss him again when a knock at the door surprised the both of you. You both jumped off of the couch as Tom threw out excuses. “Yeah just a second!” You straightened out your shirt as Tom did the same to his pants and you picked up your things. 

When he saw that you were settled, he took a deep breath and answered the door. His colleague and best friend Professor Osterfield, was standing there, a grin on his face. “You div, are you ever going to be on time for our monthly meetings?––” He stood up straight when he noticed you standing behind Tom. “Oh, I didn’t know you had company.” He looked between the two of you and it seemed as though he pieced everything together. Maybe Tom had told him about you? If he did, you wouldn’t be worried Tom didn’t seem like the type to tell unreliable people his business––and they were best friends after all.

You smiled at him in acknowledgement as moved aside to let you pass. “Sorry,” you looked between the both of them, “I’ll let you get to whatever you have to go to.” You looked at Tom once you were out of his office, “Thank you for the feedback, professor.”

You could see him fighting off his smirk before he replied, “Of course.” His stare was impenetrable as he looked at you, “Feel free to come by whenever.” You could see the hidden meaning in his words and let the hint of a smile show, before nodding and walking off.

Harrison looked at him, a pitiful smile on his face. “I hope you know what you’re doing, mate. You should be careful, for the both of you.”

Tom sighed, not wanting to have this conversation. “I know, man. Let’s go.” 

❊❊❊❊

You found yourself missing Tom as soon as you left. God, this was kind of pathetic. But at least your feelings weren’t necessarily one sided––he did say you made him nervous too after all. You doubt he’d say that if he just wanted to fuck you––he was better than most men. And sure you might be a little biased, but at the end of the day he had a good heart and he was educated. So bonus. 

When you stepped into your dorm, your roommate was sitting on her bed, snacks in hand as she looked at you expectantly. “Now these,” she gestured to the food on her bed, “are either for a story time, to rebuild your energy or both.” 

You laughed and changed into your pajamas, starting to tell your best friend about everything that just happened. She often interrupted with her reactions and comments.

Oh. My. God.

Shut. Up.

You’re fucking lying! 

“But we didn’t fuck.”

“Boo––”

“Yes, boo.” You laughed, “Professor Osterfield knocked at the door and dragged him off to a meeting so.” You shrugged.

“Professor Osterfield...is that the hot blond one?” You nodded and she continued expressing her feelings for the man. “I’d let him teach me a few things––”

“Literally bye.”

She laughed, “What? Come on have you seen him––”

“I’m a little preoccupied with another professor to be honest.”

She nodded, handing you a bag of chips as you settled in your bed. “True. And oh how lucky you are.” You smiled in agreement. 

❊❊❊❊

Today was the day the essay was due and though you normally handed it in at the beginning of class, for once, you didn’t and you could feel Tom’s gaze following you as you walked up the steps to your seat without so much as a glance in his direction. You’d stopped by his office a few times over the past two weeks since Harrison interrupted you, but you never did anything more than kissing and grinding. You were both too scared of getting caught, but that doesn’t mean you hadn’t thought about doing more in there.  

Tom liked to have physical copies of the essays, just in case technology decides it’s against him (his words), so everyone had until 8pm tonight to drop it off by his office. You were definitely going to use that to your advantage. 

You didn’t wear anything provocative to class, you didn’t really want that kind of attention today, plus you knew that Tom’s interest in you wasn’t solely based on your appearance. So you put the revealing items on under your clothing. And honestly, the thought that no one knew what you were wearing underneath it all only excited you even further. 

You crossed your legs, relieving your tension and biting your lip as class went on, enjoying how flustered Tom would be every time he looked at you. You felt so submissive when you were alone with him, but when you were in public like this? Free to tease him subtly from a distance? That’s where you had all the power. 

You had him blushing and stuttering throughout the whole class, though it wouldn’t have been easy for everyone else to notice, for you it was so obvious. He kept rubbing his hands together, pacing around as his eyes darted to you every few minutes. At one point he went over to sit down at his desk, which he rarely did while teaching––and you were fairly certain it was to hide a bulge in his pants. All thanks to you. 

In the middle of the class, you felt your phone vibrate in your bag and pulled it out just to see if it was an emergency. You were pleasantly surprised and could feel your whole body react when you noticed who the message was from.

Tom: Having fun, are you?

Your eyes shot up to the front of the room and you bit your lip to contain your smile when you noticed him glaring at you.

Y/N: I always have fun in this class, professor ;)

You put your phone away afterwards and focused on the class, knowing it was killing Tom that you weren’t giving him more attention. Your heart was racing and your panties had a wet patch by the time class was over. You had a feeling he was going to try to keep you after class, so you hurried up and gathered your things, sighing in relief when a few students went up to his desk to talk to him. 

You smirked to yourself and headed straight for the door, your head high on your shoulders. But just as you were about two feet from the exit, Tom spoke up. 

“I assume I’ll be seeing you later, Miss Y/L/N?”

You turned around, eyes slightly widening as you noticed him, the group of students near him.

He smirked slyly, “To turn in your paper, remember?” His eyes were giving you a knowing look.

You swallowed, nodding as you smiled at him innocently. “Of course, professor.” You enjoyed the way his eyes darkened only slightly, only noticeable to you. “See you then.” With that you walked out.

❊❊❊❊

You practically skipped to his office at around 7:45, before knocking at the door, four knocks in a specific pattern––the code you’d made together. 

“Come in, darling!”

You walked in and quickly shut the door, a chuckle escaping you. “You know someone could hear you from the outside one day, right?”

He shrugged, “I’ll just blame it on my accent. Could call everyone darling, they don’t know any better.”

You laughed. “Okay well––Professor Holland,” you said, loving the way he looked at you when you uttered his title. “I brought this for you.” You took out the printed essay and placed it on his desk.

He pushed his chair out, his eyes following your every move as he spread his legs. “Oh is that right?” 

You took the invitation and took your reserved seat in his lap, linking your arms around his neck as you looked down at him. “Mhm, still want a good grade in this class you know. You are my favorite professor after all.”

He smirked smugly, licking his lips. “And you,” he kissed your lips before pulling away briefly, “Are my favorite girl.” He brought his hands up your back and pulled you into him as he kissed you again. This time, longer and deeper, wanting to feel you as much as possible. “Teased me so much in class today.” You smiled into the kiss and he continued, “Almost wanted to take you over my knee right there in front of everyone.” 

You moaned audibly and he brought his hand up to your neck, gripping you softly but firmly, giving you room to pull away if you didn’t approve. When you leaned further into his grip, he grinned and pulled you closer. You started grinding down on him, basking in the desperate groans and sighs you were coaxing out of him, the way his movements became more frantic as he bucked into you. 

After debating with yourself in your head for a moment––struggling to think properly with his hands all over you, you got off of his lap and smiled at the small whines of protest he let out before reaching for his belt. You made eye contact with him and noticed how wide his eyes were, hopeful, hungry, but hesitant. 

His hands reached for yours, “You don’t have to, darling. If anything I should be doing this first. God knows I’ve thought about it.”

You pouted, trying your best to ignore his words and focus on the task at hand. “But I want to,” you kissed his cheek, “I wanna make you feel good, professor.” He nodded, barely able to speak.

“Yeah? You wanna be a good girl for me?” 

You nodded eagerly, licking your lips as he pulled himself out of his trousers. “More than anything. Wanna make up for earlier.” You got down on your knees, mouth practically salivating at the way his member stood tall against his abdomen, his tip leaking with precum. 

Your hand wrapped around him just as a knock sounded at the door. Professor?

The both of your eyes widened, the both of you looking around for some sort of answer before he ushered you under the desk, tucking himself back in hastily, pulling his chair as much as he could and sitting at the edge, hiding his unbuttoned and unbuckled pants. Luckily for the both of you, the back of the desk reached the floor, so whoever it was wouldn’t be able to see you hiding underneath. “Uh––Come in!”

The person walked in and you recognized the sound of her voice, she often spoke up in the lectures. You couldn’t remember her name, though. You do, however, remember that she often spoke up only to get Tom’s attention. You’d heard her gush about him in the halls just outside his class in the hopes of him hearing her. You couldn’t blame her, but the thought still irked you. “I just wanted to give you my paper. I hope it’s not too late.” 

Tom checked the time on his watch, 7:58. “Nope,” he laughed breathlessly, trying to compose himself, “Not too late at all, in fact just in time.” 

She handed her paper to Tom and he gave her a tight-lipped smile, trying his best not to think about the fact that your hands were trailing up his thighs and that he could feel your warm breath hitting the exposed part of his member––he really hadn’t payed attention when he tucked himself back in. 

Before he could send the girl who’s name you still hadn’t remembered off, she took a seat across from him and he swallowed nervously, a little frustrated since he was so close to getting his cock in his girl’s mouth. 

It seemed that you somehow read his thoughts because as soon as the girl kept talking for another two minutes, you pulled his member out and stroked him, licking up his shaft and he tensed, taking every ounce of self control he had not to look down at you. His hand reached down and held your cheek gently, just wanting to feel you. You nuzzled into his palm and he had to bite his lip to suppress his smile, not wanting the student across from him to think his endearing expression was meant for her. 

You honestly completely tuned out all the words she was saying, your sole focus pleasuring Tom. But you didn’t miss the flirty and falsely innocent tone in her voice. You couldn’t see her but she was no doubt batting her eyelashes at him as well. 

When she made a comment about how good his shirt looked on him, you couldn’t help yourself, you sucked his tip into your mouth with no warning, making him groan unexpectedly. You paused, eyes wide and playful as your mouth stayed around him.

“Are you okay professor?” 

He let out a strained smile, “Yes, Emma, Sorry––” So her name was Emma. “I just uh banged my knee on the desk.”

She hummed a small okay and went on.

He caught your eye, trying his best to keep his expression neutral, but boy was it hard. Especially when you were looking up at him like that, with his cock in your mouth. You licked around his tip and lowered your mouth around him and he had to force himself to focus on the girl who was still talking to him.

You were not playing fair but quite frankly you didn’t care. You were making him feel good and yourself too. Your hand was pumping him, your tongue swirling around him as quietly as you could, while your other hand found its place between your thighs. 

In the middle of Emma’s speech, Tom’s eyes drifted down and widened, his breath getting caught in his throat when he noticed your other hand, moving between your legs. He stuttered out an excuse, unable to tear his eyes away from you for a moment, “Uh, Emma I’m so sorry––I just have so much work to do, but feel free to come back––” he paused to swallow when you sucked harder around him in reaction to his invitation. “Come back next week if you have any problems or anything else you’d like to discuss.”

She hesitantly but respectfully said goodbye and was on her way, closing the door behind her.

Tom’s hands immediately shot down to hold your head, his mouth dropped open as he watched you, approaching his high. “Shit, that’s it darling that’s it. So fucking good for me.”

“I’m gonna cum––” he warned. You simply hummed around him and sped up your movements, feeling yourself clench as he panted, his hips bucking slightly as he came into your mouth. You unfortunately weren’t able to cum but you were sure there’d be other chances. You popped off of him and swallowed his load before licking up his length teasingly slow. “Fuck, such a good girl.”

He pulled his chair out and brought you up to stand between his legs, tiling his head to look up at you, his hands rubbing up and down the backs of your thighs absentmindedly. “Was someone a little jealous?”

You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but failing to fix your annoyed facial expression. “Maybe.”

He tucked himself back into his pants and stood up, chuckling as he squeezed your cheek. “I’m yours.” He pecked your lips, before looking in your eyes, “And I’m most definitely repaying the favor when we get home. I mean––if you want to, of course.” Home. 

You couldn’t help but smile, “Yeah––Okay.” 

You’d never been to Tom’s house before so this felt like sort of a big deal to you, but you were going to try and calm your racing thoughts and heart. You and Tom agreed that you would go around the corner of the building for him to pick you up in his car, not wanting to risk anyone seeing you.

As soon as you were settled in, seatbelt on, Tom drove off and honestly the thrill of having to hide was exciting to the both of you. His hand was gripping your thigh throughout the whole drive and you could tell it was meant as a reminder that he was there for you, but also that he could barely contain himself. 

Seeing Tom drive you, the flashing street lights illuminating his face, highlighting his jawline, his hand gripping your thigh––this was a sight you knew you wanted to see more. The intimacy of it all made you warm inside and the feeling of Tom’s fingertips digging into your skin only riled you up further.

You leaned over to kiss his cheek and he smiled at the feeling of your soft lips drifting over his skin. “Darling––” His words were cut off by a harsh moan when you trailed your lips down to his sweet spot, the noise almost too loud for the quiet, tense air in the car.

You teased, licked and bit at his skin, not afraid to leave marks. It was Friday now, if anyone saw them on Monday, they would just assume he’d had an eventful weekend. Honestly, the thought that no one would know that you were the one who left those marks excited you––it would be a secret between you and Tom, a thing for the two of you to share on your own.

Tom’s hands were now gripping the wheel and your thigh with force, trying to get his bearings. “You’re being very naughty today, love. Can’t say that I don’t love it though.”

You smiled sinfully into his neck, continuing your actions. Your hand slid over his thigh teasingly slow to rest on his bulge, fingers squeezing ever so softly and he practically jolted in his seat. “Christ––love unless you want me to crash this car I suggest you stop.”

You pulled away, satisfied with how much you’d riled him up. He almost whined at the loss of contact, subconsciously upset that you’d actually stopped. But as your hand reached back down to find its place between your thighs, his tone shifted. 

“Don’t you dare touch what’s mine. That’s my job.”

You actually felt a shiver pass through your body and you squeezed your thighs together at the sound of his dominant voice, excited for what was to come.

When you made it to his apartment, you barely had time to take in the scenery and take off your shoes and jackets before he dragged you to his room. But from what you saw, the decor was simple but elegant, much like Tom. His bedroom was the same, but again, you weren’t too focused on it.

He turned on the dim light in his room, wanting to be able to see you as he pleased you. He stepped closer to you and placed his hands on your waist, looking deep into your eyes. “You still want this?” 

You nodded absolutely certain. “Want you to take me.”

His pupils dilated and he pulled your shirt up and over your head, licking his lips, eyes widening when he noticed what you were wearing and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Christ, were you wearing this all day?” 

You nodded again. “The underwear’s matching too. Wanna see?”

He got down on his knees, a teasing but desperate tone to his voice. “You’re a smart girl, don’t ask stupid questions.” He unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down along with your socks, mouth dropping open as he got to see the full set. 

You ran your hands up and down your body teasingly as he stood up. “Do you like it?”

He shook his head, smiling in disbelief, “Again with the silly questions, love.” He leaned in to kiss you, pulling away to take off his clothes. “You look like a goddess, darling.” You could feel your skin heating up from his words and his stare. He pulled you in for another kiss before bringing you onto the bed.

You lied down in the middle and spread your legs, waiting for him eagerly as he lied down between them. “Can’t fucking wait to taste you, love.” 

He pulled your panties over to the side and licked into you, his tongue softly swiping through your folds. His eyes rolled back as he moaned into you, “Taste just as perfect as you look.” He slid his hands around your thighs and pulled you in closer, smiling at the small squeak you let out.

His tongue was exploring you, finding all the spots and all the tricks that made your toes curl and your breath hitch. He was keeping this all to memory, memorizing the way you feel, the way you look. When your breaths quickened and your fingers tugged at his curls, he locked his arm around your stomach, slid one, then two fingers inside of you and sped up his movements, moving his head from side to side as he hummed onto your clit. 

Your body tensed and you held onto him for dear life as the knot in your stomach gave out, the pleasure spreading all throughout your body. Your mouth dropped open in ecstasy, your neck craning back and Tom couldn’t look away from you. You looked like a painting and he wanted to commit it to memory. 

He let go of you and kissed his way up your body, soothing you with his lips. Your legs were still twitching slightly, your stomach clenching and unclenching when his kisses reached your cheek. “Look so pretty when you come for me.” He kissed along your jaw, “Can’t believe you’ve deprived me of such a beautiful sight for so long.” He kissed your lips and tugged your bottom one between his teeth, before looking at you, eyes wide, “You gonna give me the privilege of seeing it again?” 

You smiled, your hands coming up to hold his cheeks. “You can see it whenever you want. As long as you’re the one making it happen.” You pulled him to you and kissed him, the both of you moaning into the small gaps between your mouths. 

He started to pull away but you whined and pulled him back making him smile. “I’ve gotta get a condom, love.”

He tried to get up again but you pulled him back down, “M’on the pill Tommy.” You looked up at him, pouting and he almost gasped––the effect you had on him was insane. “Just fuck me please.”

He didn’t need anymore convincing, grabbing a hold of his cock and swiping it through your folds, groaning out loud at how good your wetness felt. You bucked your hips and realizing you were getting desperate, he finally slid into you and all your senses immediately tuned into him. 

Just like your dream––All of your senses were in overdrive. All you could feel were the hands tracing every curve of your body, playing you like a toy they’d made themselves. All you could hear was that sweet, rough voice telling you praises and calling you endearing names as your whole body shivered from the pleasure. 

His eyes were watching your face, taking you in as he thrusted into you, making sure you were enjoying everything he was giving you. You felt absolutely amazing and so did he. “So perfect for me, darling. That’s it.” He bit his lip and sped up, making your jaw drop as you stared into his eyes, completely open and vulnerable to him. His touch was tantalizing, even better than your fantasies which only meant you’d become more addicted to him and what he could do to you.

He grunted, angling his hips when he found your spot, hitting it over and over, bringing his hand down to play with your clit. “Told you I wanted to see you cum again, pretty girl. So you’re gonna cum then I’m gonna fill you up. That sound okay?”

You nodded eagerly, eyes watching his every move as your hands gripped his arms, your thighs burning invitingly as they stretched around him with every thrust. Then you uttered that one word that always had him almost inappropriately weak for you. “Want to be full of you, professor.”

His jaw slacked and he paused for a slight moment before picking up his pace, faster than before, hips chasing after both your highs, fingers still rubbing you just the way he learned, just the way you liked. “Fuck-–”

A few more thrusts and flicks of his wrist and you were tensing under him, your pussy clenching around him as he let out broken curses and moans, losing his rhythm and releasing into you with a groan. 

He rested some of his weight on you for a moment, the both of you smiling and laughing breathlessly as you took in the moment. Your hands came up to play with his curls and he sighed, leaning into your touch. He lowered his head into the crook of your neck and left a few soft kisses, coaxing some sighs from you as well.  

After a moment, he rolled over and took you with him, making you nuzzle further into him, his arm wrapped around you, your leg slung over his waist. His hand was rubbing up to your ass and down to your thigh, lulling you to sleep while simultaneously riling you up again. 

He kissed your forehead and you kissed his chest in response. “That was fucking amazing, love.”

You nodded and hummed in agreement, “Even better than my dreams.”

He pulled back to look at you, you could hear his heartbeat quicken and you tried to hide your face in his chest. “You had dreams about this too?”

That made you lift your head up to look at him. You could see in his eyes that he wasn’t joking but you were still slightly shocked. “Too?”

He smiled, licking his lips, “Well maybe we should discuss them, and try them out for ourselves.” His hand found its way between your legs again, making you moan but that didn’t stop you from responding.

You nodded, “For research purposes, of course.”

“Of course.” He grinned, “See, I knew I taught you well.” He leaned in to kiss you deeply, “My girl’s the perfect student.” 

You spent hours exploring each other's bodies as you reenacted your dreams, both exceeding each other's expectations every time. By the time you fell asleep in each other's arms, it was late at night and you were sweaty, and tired, but overwhelmingly pleased.

❊❊❊❊

The next Friday, it was halloween. Liz had somehow convinced you to go to a halloween party with her. On top of that it was a frat party. And even worse, you dressed up as a school girl because it was all last minute and you didn’t have any time to get a costume. 

“Oh come on Y/N, you look hot!”

You turned in the full length mirror to look at your ass that was almost visible in this mini skirt. “You think so?”

“Duh.”

And that’s all the convincing you needed to go out. You needed a little college fun. You hadn’t been to a party in who knows how long because you were always focusing on your work. You deserved this. Also Liz said it was a celebration of your “lay”, yes, she said lay. 

“I’m just saying you cannot let me get with him again.”

“Liz it’s literally his frat house that we’re going to and we both know you have little to no self control.”

“Well damn. You couldn’t have sugar coated it?”

“What, you want me to throw a packet of splenda on you?” You joked.

She shoved you, “Dude shut up,” she laughed.

You looked down at your bare thighs that were only partly covered by your thigh high socks and rubbed your arms, regretting not bringing a jacket when Liz spoke up again. “Oh shit, is that Professor Holland?”

Your eyes shot up and made direct eye contact with him. He was wearing a hoodie and some sweats but he still looked great as usual. His eyes trailed down your body and soon your shivers were no longer because of the cold. 

“I’ll just wait here.” Liz said suggestively and you walked over to Tom. 

“H–Hi.”

He put his hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to touch you, he didn’t know who was around. “Well hello to you too.” He looked into your eyes, a smirk on his face. You rubbed your arms quickly for warmth, and Tom had to control himself to not look at your chest, even though he could see your nipples hardening from the weather through your shirt. He wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms and take you home. 

“Any plans?” You asked.

“No, I'm just about to go home. I’m uh guessing you have somewhere to be?” His eyes traced your figure again.

“Yeah um me and Liz are going to a frat party.” You pointed back to your friend and gave him a small smile and shrug. “She convinced me.”

He wanted to kiss you so bad but he had to restrain himself.

“Be safe tonight, yeah?” His eyes were comforting, as they always were, but this felt almost more personal? Almost like he didn’t want you to go. And honestly, after seeing him, you almost didn’t want to either. You never defined your relationship with him, so honestly right now he was like a friend with benefits––professor with benefits, if you will. 

You nodded, licking your lips nervously. “O––Okay. I will. You be safe too!”

His eyes followed you as you walked off, your friend pulling you along, obviously whispering to you, probably about him. You looked so fucking good and everyone else was going to see that too. It’s not like he owned you or anything, but part of him really wished he could claim you, openly care for you and be affectionate. His thoughts were a mix of wholesome and raunchy and he had no idea how to act.

He almost felt wrong but he couldn’t get the thoughts out of his mind, the way you looked up at him sheepishly, the innocent look in your eyes while you were wearing that mini skirt. His cock was bulging in his boxers ever since he first laid eyes on you. When he got home, he made his way to his bed, undressing almost immediately. Lying down in the middle of the bed, just where you were days before brought a flood of memories into his mind, only making his member throb even more. He tugged at his cock, spitting in his hand to make it slick.

Images of you were flashing in his mind as he sped up his movements, desperate for a release. 

He was dying to get a taste of you again. The memory of the way you felt under his fingertips, the way your muscles clenched when he hit the right spots. The way you tasted when you were dripping onto his tongue. The way you looked at him when you came, your lips parted to release broken moans and whimpers. The way your fingers gripped his curls as your body tensed. It was all enough to make him spill over his hand, his breaths coming out in quick pants as his head dropped back onto the pillow.

“Fuck.” He really had it bad for you. 

❊❊❊❊

Tom had texted you during class on Tuesday to meet him in his office when you were done with classes for the day. When you stepped into the room, he locked the door immediately, bringing you over to his desk, his lips chasing yours. Screw worrying about people hearing you, he wanted you. Now. 

“God, just seeing you in that tight little costume––you have no idea how badly I wanted to ravish you. The thought of all those dumb frat boys seeing you in all your glory like that––I was absolutely beside myself.” So that’s what this was about. His hand came up to hold your cheek, his eyes fiercely staring into yours and you nuzzled into his touch, your hand holding his wrist softly and his eyes softened at the sight of you.

“I’m gonna absolutely devour you.” You gasped and he smiled, pulling your pants along with panties down. He sat you down on his desk and got down on his knees, licking his lips. “As soon as I got a taste of you, I knew I wouldn’t be able to go without it ever again.” He kissed your thigh, looking up at you. “You gonna let me have a taste again? Wanna make you feel good, lovie.”

You nodded, swallowing roughly, “Y––Yeah. Yes please.”

He chuckled breathlessly, “Such a polite little thing you are.” He kissed his way from your inner thigh to your center before licking a torturously slow stripe from your hole to your clit. You let out a sigh and gripped the desk, your fingertips becoming lighter at how hard you were already holding it.

His hands held your thighs open, putting them over his shoulders, holding you in place. His tongue was languidly licking you up and down, savoring your taste and your moans, coaxing them out of you one by one, nonstop. He looked up at you and your breath got caught in your throat, the look in his eyes fierce, almost as if he could see your bare soul and he clearly liked what he saw. He brought his lips to close around your heat after every other swipe of his tongue, passionately kissing your heat. 

“So fucking good, angel. Always the best for me.”

You nodded, licking your lips, one of your hands coming to grab at his curls, making him growl into you. “Only for you, Tommy.”

He didn’t stop his tongue or his lips until you came, your back arching, fingers frantically grabbing for whatever you could hold, lip trapped between your teeth to muffle the moans that so desperately wanted to escape into the quiet air of the room. He kept going until you had to pull his head away from you, overwhelmed by all the pleasure and scared that you would scream and alert everyone in the building about what you were up to.

His hands were caressing your thighs, eyes looking at you in awe, almost too innocently for what you’d just done. He stood up between your legs and leaned in to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue and his lips. 

He pulled away to look at you, hands holding your hips as your legs wrapped around his waist. You brought your arms up to link around his neck, looking up at him appreciatively and absolutely spent. “So do you think I should wear school girl outfits more often?”

He laughed, his hands holding you tighter, “If you do, my head is never leaving between your thighs.”

You smiled cheekily, batting your lashes at him. “Promise?”

He’d never gotten down on his knees quicker in his life. Let’s just say it took you another hour before you left his office.

 ❊❊❊❊

Over the past few weeks it had become a routine for you to go over to Tom’s office to seemingly “work on your assignments and review,” so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to show up unannounced Friday afternoon. Without meaning to, though, it seemed you showed up a little too early, and ended up overhearing part of Tom and Harrison’s conversation. 

“I can tell Y/N means a lot to you, mate. Don’t lie.” Your heart dropped to your stomach as you skidded just in front of the door, about to turn the corner inside. You backed up and stayed pressed to the wall. Luckily no one really stopped by this side of the building at this time on a Friday, so no one would find you snooping around in the middle of the hallway. 

“No I just––”

No. He said no––Okay you weren’t going to freak out. This always happens in the movies, and then the main character runs away before hearing the most important part and they overreact. So you decided to just...wait it out. 

So you waited and waited. And the more the silence overwhelmed you, the louder it got. You could feel the tears starting to form in your eyes because you really thought your feelings were mutual. But just as you inched your foot backwards to walk away, he spoke up again, his voice quiet. 

“She means everything to me, man. I––It scares me, honestly. I just don’t want to mess it up.” 

This time the tears fully formed in your eyes, but for the absolute opposite reason. You smiled and wiped at your eyes, not even bothering to hide anymore as you turned the corner, surprising Tom, his eyes widening as he took in your appearance. Harrison turned around to see you and his gaze filled with concern as well. 

“Tom––” your voice was quiet but there was a smile on your face. 

“Darling––” He rushed over to you and grabbed your hands, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs to catch the few tears that escaped. “What’s wrong, are you alright?”

Your hands came up to hold his wrists as you looked into his eyes, “I heard you talking.” 

His face dropped in realization and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. 

Harrison cleared his throat and subtly made his way out, “You guys have some things to discuss.” He put a hand on your shoulder and you both smiled at each other appreciatively before he walked out, shutting the door behind him. 

Tom took your hands and brought you over to the couch. “I hope I didn’t scare you off, love.”

You shook your head immediately, even climbing in his lap to prove him wrong and he smiled gratefully. “No! It’s just that we never really talked, you know, about us.” He nodded and you took that as a sign to continue, enjoying the way his hands subconsciously slipped under your shirt to rub at your skin soothingly. “I like you Tom, obviously. But I like you a lot.” You linked your hands behind his neck. “I think I might be falling for you.”

His eyes started tearing up as well, as he smiled, “Yeah well, I think I’ve already fallen for you, darling.” 

You looked into his eyes and your smile brightened, “Okay maybe I lied––I’ve definitely already fallen for you as well.”

You both laughed lovingly, pulling each other in for a sweet kiss.“Look,” Tom started, licking his lips. “I don’t know what this means for our future, but all I know is I don’t plan on letting you go any time soon.” 

You kissed his lips softly, “Well I don’t plan on leaving any time soon either.” 

“Good.” He looked at you and you felt as though your soul was out and open for him to hold and love. “Cause you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Y/N and I don’t ever want to lose you.” 

You could feel your eyes tearing up again. This felt good. This felt like home.