#also the number of times I went co copy/paste things in here

[xoxoemynn]

not to make it weird on main, but I always get really reflective this time of year, between Christmas (which in my family is High Stress), New Year's, and my birthday. unfortunately, being reflective about 2023 really sucked, given the dominant themes seemed to be "confront your mortality" and "all those things you consider to be constants in your life will one day be gone." there were three deaths in my family in three months, several of my closest friends were also dealing with loss, and the year wrapped up with daphne receiving a serious (but currently manageable!) diagnosis that also reminded me that she's getting older. I had a bunch of delayed heavy emotions hit me all at once at the start of the year, which was part of the reason I took a little break from fandom.

all that is to say, I really appreciate all the love today. I've been really lucky to have met so many really wonderful people on this silly site, and you all made a day I was feeling pretty blah about very special. I will be basking in all these warm fuzzies for a very long time.

thank you 💕

[watchtheblog]

Cutting Slack

hello to the hierarchy of my besties: irl besties, internet besties, fantasy besties; the hierarchy of my haters: just the three of you, followed by someone who goes by the alias k.s on google reviews; an ever dwindling number of exes who can read, a handful of people i’m just getting to know who are about to know me too well too fast, and anyone else who has stumbled upon this highly specific page on the internet!!

if you’ve been here before, you know the deal. i’m going to weave a web of little jokes into a somewhat coherent story and then as a reward for knowing me you get the opportunity to see 20 things i hope to receive for my birthday, which, i hope you know… is tomorrow (26 september); i’m turning 94.

The joke web:

In february 2023 after the company I co-created sold to one of the corniest companies on the planet, I quit because they wanted me to set forth eight hours a day I would be available to do work. Seven years into a job I’d put 8 hours a year into, this was a startling task.

Also, they wanted me to become a member of slack, or get on slack, or write to them in slack. Or do something, whatever one does, on slack. You can do a lot of things to me, but what you’re not gonna do is make me go on slack. Many have tried in the past and not a one has ever succeeded.

Not to sound like Mark Cuban - or myself in [redacted] years -  but an 8 hour workday was not for me. And I explained this. I told a woman alleging to be my supervisor that every morning I woke up, I did cult for 20 minutes, wrote in my journal for 45 minutes, went for a 1 hour walk, came home, showered, drank a little poison, read for one hour in my garden, did some dilly dallying on the internet, and then I went to an appointment*, and by the time I was done with all of that it was already 4pm and that’s wind down time in my culture. 

Where did she want me to find 8 hours?!

(*i realize appointment time is not a thing (everyone can understand) but I’m gonna have to save it for another post. appointment time is sacred in a directionless little bug’s life and it deserves to be explained properly.)

If you think I’m joking that I laid out this schedule to a woman who was born inside a human resources complaint folder and whose dearly departed soul resides within a ludicrously capacious bag somewhere, I beg you to get to know me better.

Fundamentally, she did not understand and spiritually I was not the messenger to enlighten her, so I decided to quit.

I am impulsive by nature but this decision was incredibly thought out. I wrote down a list of pros and cons and I titled the cons list “things I’m not aligned with” and I listed 11 things.

“I dont want to be managed!!!!!!” (this is a literal copy and paste) topped the chart.

To follow? “Corporate weirdness”, and, simply: “Slack”.

On the pros list I wrote: “Freedom”, “I will finally be free”. (LOL!) Underneath it, it says “Take a fucking risk.”

I sat with these lists for approximately three minutes, and then I wrote an email announcing my resignation. And then I quite literally never spoke to anyone there ever again.

This all leads me to one short pivot before we’ll arrive at our final destination of my birthday list. 

When I mentioned earlier that I am impulsive by nature, I mean that I quit my job because someone said there was a question posed to me in Slack and I needed to answer it came to Ohio to visit my dad’s (RIP) childhood home and my (then) girlfriend convinced me to call the number on a commercial real estate building and within 45 days I’d signed a lease and 90 days later I had packed, driven, and moved my entire life across the country. 

When I moved here, I knew no one so I did a lot of things you may think only people who are on reality dating shows do, like: go to an espresso martini making class, cook marshmallows over an open fire in a state park at night with strangers, slide down a snowy hill on a plastic saucer as an activity, or attend a local rat’s birthday party.*

*disclaimer for anyone here who doesn’t GET me bc I’m scared to be misunderstood: i loved all of these things I’m not mocking them; I’m simply holding a light to the absurdity of my *on the spectrum, agoraphobic weirdo* ass doing these things in earnest because i needed to not kms. ◡̈  kms stands for k*ll myself.*

(Of course all of these things on a reality dating show would involve two people, whereas in my case I did all of those things alone.)

As a treat for my efforts to be a member of society, the universe provided me with the unique gift of meeting the anthropomorphic version of my intrusive thoughts!! 

We’ll call her Gloria (for no reason) and in our first phone conversation she had called everyone in the state of ohio “fat, lazy and bipolar” and told me my business would fail.

One minute after we hung up, she texted asking if I wanted to sauna with her right now. Now mind you, I’ve been doing shit “for the lore” since before it was called “lore” and men were just telling me I was insane (simpler times!!) so I grabbed a bikini and drove 9 minutes ready to go in a sauna with a random lady I’d never met.

And go in a sauna with a random lady I did... fully clothed for a reason that both confused and relieved me. In that sauna, Gloria repeated the aforementioned phone topics and added a pointed “nobody wants to work out; you will fail” while staring at me in a box heated to 130 degrees.

“It’s okay. Everything is always working out for me” I told her as she persisted in her negativity, because I lacked the ability to just tell her to shut the fuck up (and also because that is true). 

I considered the possibility of her behavior coming from a good intentioned place, like when cars driving the opposite direction flash their lights to let you know they just passed a cop (as if that ever hits). I considered it was an act of humanity, one unstable woman to another; trying to save me from the hell she thought was inevitable given her own - self proclaimed - “failure”. (she had opened and closed a studio of her own.)

So I let her keep flashing her dumb lights at me, showing up to my studio uninvited in the middle of my buildout telling me I should see if my landlord would let me out of my lease, texting me little foreboding horror stories about the perils of being in the fitness industry, sending me local businesses that were closing as if to say “i told you so; i’m warning you.”

“You’ll see” she said multiple times, as if to predict my ultimate demise in a way I’d be able to reflect on in the future, remembering she’d warned me. 

In those moments and in the months of desperation and grind leading up to the opening of my business I had no other choice but to move forward blindly, confidently. Long before I met this psychopath I had prepared for the possibility of failure. Unlike this woman, however, that preparation involved the potential of having to say “I failed… now what?” rather than “I failed. I’m the rule, not the exception. The journey is impossible.”

It’s been almost two years since I left the career I thought would define me, and while I certainly haven’t failed, I’m not writing this from the other side. I’m writing this from the beginning of a long journey I’m prepared and excited to be on that began the day I decided to take a fucking risk.

Two years ago I couldn’t find 8 hours a day to work and now somehow I’ve found 14-18…

and not a single one of them has been spent on slack. 

The Gift Portion!!!  the intangible: for the dismantling of nextdoor dot com, for all my bad memories to be erased, to win the war against seed oils, for the ai to stop(!!!), that the person who sullied my google reviews finds God and healing bc going against me is a form of psychosis, for great deals on this upcoming amazon prime day, that natalia grace is ok, that i never hear a telephone ring again, for watermelon to be in season all the time, that nobody is ever mad at me, that all eggs would turn to donuts in a way that would not have negative implications for chickens or negative repercussions for farmers, that everyone bounces back from whatever inevitable side effects ozempic will have, that my frequently used emoji are all safe and sound after getting rearranged, and for everyone I know and love to read the source by dr tara swart, and that they are all happy, healthy, successful, and in love forever.

the ones you can buy: these shoes (size 38)  or these shoes (size 38) also these (and you guessed it! 38) i want to fix my brain here, a casual five day immersive neurofeedback experience this watch this large suitcase or this one i cant pick this gorgeana kind of urgently, this these shoes (great deal alert!!!!) (size 38) i think the trajectory of my life would change if i owed four of these and maybe some other things to go with it big year for shoes … huge a stunning linen spray this practical thing her this or something else from her(e) these, white, small also kind of urgently, these this definitely the max mara teddy coat in the absolute smallest size and this is the last time I’m gonna put it here!!!!!! ykto!!! (lol!!)

[ofgentleresolve]

@wellfell sent in: drenched in sunlight , waves are peacefully brushing over the soft sand . she hates sunlight with the same passion she's been hating momoko since middle school . her beach party was loud , unlike what they thought of her , akina wasn't keen to exist in crowded places like these but at least she looked good . under the shade , sipping her cool berry juice with her pink sunglasses on . pissed , bored , and exceptionally aware of the fact that her old friends hasn't forgotten about the scandals that had her name on it . . . all went smooth until lamon approached her — she was peacefully brooding and glaring at the sea until he sat beneath the cool shadow of the shade beside her . and smiled a little . ❛ did momoko got tired of eyeing me and send you to check on me ? if she keeps calling me miss dracula i will break her jaw . go tell her that . ❜ of course momoko didn't send him , lamon doesn't listen to anyone . she didn't even know with such thick walls of ice between him and his friends , why exactly he appeared . maybe the same reason she did , to see him .

Here’s how life goes: it happens and then expects you to act like it never did. Is that how they think he should act? What, with the way they disappeared into thin air in the aftermath of the accident, only to reappear two years later with some kind of squeal like ‘oh my god, I haven’t seen you in like forever, how have you been my guy?’. Those were the same people who didn’t even bother to visit him in the hospital, let alone send a text. And now they come crawling back like nothing ever happened? Like he’s still the same shadow from two years ago, the naive lamb who would take everything said to him at face value.

Yeah right.

Momoko’s beach party sounded like a drag, from the very beginning. For one thing, the more Co*caine Don*nald’s new roommate talked about, the less it sounded like a meetup so much as a frat party, but copy-and-pasted onto a beach. Why would he go when his roommate already drags him to the beach ( in the middle of the night too- some would say it’s sketchy, but again, who cares, it’s four in the morning, no one should be giving a shit at this time ) anyways? This is just the same, except now he has to put sunblock on if he doesn’t want to burned.

But he’s here anyway, half-tuned out to whatever the hell Momoko and the others are saying. The only reason he knows her is because she was friends with Robin back in the day. ‘Was friends’ because he’s pretty sure she’s not taking the time to go see her up north. He has a red solo cup holding some mysterious blue liquid, which he has no intention on finishing. It’s easy to see how strong the punch is just by the sheer amount of time it took for people to get plastered. Why did he change his mind again?

“Why would she ask me that? She can do her own bidding.” That and if she did ask Lam that, he’d cuss her out instead. At the very least he’d say if she’s so intent on harassing someone she invited, she damn well better have the guts to do it herself. He takes the seat next to the only tolerable person at this party. If the others are busy getting smashed, heating up as hot as the summer sun shining down on them, then Akina is the SEA BREEZE. 

( The wind, day or night, has always been his favorite part of the beach. )

“If you’re Count Dracula, then she can be a WEREWOLF- loud and furry.” Which would be fitting for her, he doesn’t add. Knees brush against Akina’s bare ones. In all technicalities, she doesn’t have to be here either, doesn’t have to hang around these people who smile to her face but give back-handed comments behind her back. 

So why did she go?

( He could ask himself the same question, really. When a mutual friend mentioned that Akina would also be invited, he looked up from his phone for a long moment- she always does that to him, making him stop what he’s doing and listen. He has her number so he could’ve asked her point blank if she would be going. That would be the easiest way to know and to see her.

But then again, for all the times they could be direct with each other, they…aren’t. And besides, if they can just keep ‘meeting up by circumstance’ then it’s all the more convenient, isn’t it? People will talk either way. )

He motions towards the water and the shoreline that stretches in parallel. “...Wanna ditch? They won’t notice if we’re gone for a while.”

[subpar-ghoulfriend]

Let’s have a baby

yandere!EraserMicx PREGNANT!Reader 

A terrible mix up leading to an accidental pregnancy? Or something more intentional? Either way now you were pregnant with (none other than the beloved power couple heroes) Eraserhead and Present Mic’s child. Time to discuss how co parenting is going to work. 

TW: pregnancy, artificial insemination, yandere elements, mentions of stalking, alludes to potential custody battle

You had been avoiding the two men for the past week, which was challenging seeing as they managed to find your phone number, address, and place of work. Any time you blocked their calls they got a new number. Two Pro Heroes versus a twenty something civilian, it was only a matter of time until you were cornered.

Now the couple stood between you and your apartment. You had a long shift at your job as a pet groomer and just wanted to get some rest.

Present Mic was the first to speak. "Hey lil momma, we heard you had work today so we brought you some dinner. We thought we could talk over a nice meal."

You had no response. You were tired, both physically and emotionally. You had been put through the ringer ever since meeting them at your doctors office. It was a total Jane the Virgin situation. You went in for an assessment about some supposed ovarian cysts and unknowing left artificially inseminated. There was a supposed mix up, a digital glitch that somehow merged your chart with the surrogates - apparently your names were super similar. Two weeks later you were called back into the doctor's office and informed of what took place. And now you were in this living nightmare.

And the two heroes had nothing to do with the error. There was totally a surrogate. They hadn't paid off your provider. And why would they? You had never met them - although given their patrols they may have seen you once or twice...

They were tearful when they were informed of the mix up, they had been waiting patiently through the whole process and now everything was thrown in chaos. They offered to compensate you for your service which sent you into a blind rage. They just assumed you would carry a child, a child with half of your DNA, and then give YOUR baby away. Rationally you understood that they had planned to be be the only parents to the child, but that was with a professional surrogate who understood the process, who didn't want the child in their life, just happy to help out a loving couple. But that wasn't you, you grew up wanting to be a mom, and now they would take that from you.

What if they tried to legally take sole custody of the baby? Surely they had some pull in the judicial system. Besides, they were a solid couple with money, while you were alone with no family and working two jobs. The thought made you sick to your stomach.

You were shaking as you tried to push past them. Maybe they would just disappear if you ignored them, a girl could dream. But instead they tagged along inside. Albeit you weren’t fighting them on it, you knew this had to happen eventually.

Aizawa easily found the cluttered dining table in your small apartment. You flinched when the loud one tried to help you shrug off your backpack. Taking a seat on the couch you waited for them to start berating you.

"Come sit at the table, dinner is getting cold," Eraser spoke for the first time.

"I'll eat later, I'm not hungry."

"You may not be, but the baby needs to eat."

You glared, how dare they insinuate you didn't know what your child needed. If your body was hungry, you ate. If you were full the baby was full too.

But, you complied, not wanting to argue, "Fine, but I ate a snack not too long ago."

As you ate, Mic kept you company, picking at some left overs, they clearly ate before their visit. Aizawa was rummaging through your place but you managed to hold your tongue until he began throwing things out of your fridge.

"What are you doing?" You hissed, getting up out of your seat.

"Mic and I will bring you groceries tomorrow. The food you have is barely safe for an adult, let alone a fetus."

"Are you kidding me? It's not like I'm chugging alcohol and living off Twinkies. Hey! I just bought those turkey slices. How is turkey bad?" You whined.

To make sure you wouldn't dig the food out trash he dumped it out of his container.

"Zashi, don't let me forget to empty the trash on our way out. Do you know how much salt is in deli meat? And there's no way you can drink any of this while you're pregnant." He gestures to the cans of soda.

As the frustration built you had to fight back tears. They couldn't come in to your home and start throwing out your things.

"Some of us don't make ridiculous money, I'm buying what I can afford and the doctor never had any problem with my health." You hissed.

Hizashi felt the tension thickening, "Hey hey hey, it's okay. Sho and I will go get you some good stuff. We just gotta watch out for you and baby."

And that was the end of your resolve, you stomped past the Hero and locked yourself in your bedroom. Finally tears began to drip down your cheeks.

Back in your kitchen Mic was chiding his boyfriend for being so tough on you.

"So I should just back down while she stuffs herself with junk food?"

Mic gave him a shrug, showing him a bottle on your counter, "At lest she's taking her prenatal vitamins?"

Grabbing the keys to your apartment Aizawa instructed Mic to wait with you while he got you better groceries. He would make copies of your keys on his was back.

You prayed they would leave soon. You were laying in your bed having cried yourself out. Barely into your second month of pregnancy. You still had to endure this for at least seven more months, but most likely much longer.

Next thing you knew you were opening your eyes and the clock read seven AM. By now your uninvited guests must be gone. Nervously you sat up, praying that you'd skip the morning sickness just once this week. You had always had a weak stomach and even the doctor was surprised you were already experiencing the symptom. Unfortunately the minute your feet touched the floor you knew what was coming. You sprinted to the restroom, not even checking to see if the duo had left.

God this was terrible, you didn't just hate throwing up, you were terrified of it. What if you started and never stopped? But it did come to an end. You wiped the water from your eyes and took a moment before standing from the floor. You screamed when a hand slid under your arm, helping you up. Another set of feet rushed to the bathroom.

" What's wrong?" Hizashi huffed as he skid to a stop.

You pulled arm free from Aizawa's grasp. "What are you two still doing here?"

You turned in the faucet to rinse your mouth. Trying to calm your stress, the nausea was trying to return.

Undeterred the scruff pulled your hair into a bun before rubbing your back. You debated returning to bed but that wouldn't get them out of your apartment. You told them you need to sit down, both of them nodding, still wearing their concerned expressions. They got you a glass of water before joining you on the couch. Stubborn men, you sat at the end of the couch so they couldn't both sit, but Mic decided to perch himself on the armrest.

He started petting your hair, "You feelin better little listener?" You nodded in response.

"I got you more food, let us know if your hungry."

You sighed in defeat, "I'm barely two months pregnant, I can fend for myself. What did you all want to talk about?"

You anxiously placed a hand on your stomach. Both men felt their hearts flutter recognizing your maternal instincts kicking in.

Aizawa let Mic begin, he was the more gentle of the two.

"Well, we figured we got off to a rough start. You got put in a tough situation. We shouldn't have assumed you didn't want a child so we're not mad at how you stormed out. But either way we expect to be in our baby's life. The two of us talked it over and we don't want to fight you if you want to be in their life too. So if you wanna be the mommy we're cool with it."

You could blame your reaction on your hormones for your response but you didn't, "Geez thank you so much for allowing me to be in MY child's life."

Aizawa placed a hand on the back of your neck, giving you a gentle massage. "Okay then, the three of us are gonna have a baby. That means you have to stop ignoring us. We can raise the baby together, without involving anyone else. But if we have to, we can always go the legal route for the baby's best interest." 

He knew it was a low blow, but the couple needed you to stop fighting them. Your eyes snapped to his and you shook your head in protest.

"Okay then we're all the same page," Aizawa reassured you.

Mic cheered, "Now we can focus on the fun stuff."

"Hun," Eraserhead caught his attention. "There's still a few more important things to figure out. We don't want you going back to that doctor. They're incompetent. We scheduled you an appointment with another's clinic for next week. Okay?"

You couldn't find your voice after how easily he threatened to take your baby. So you just nodded. Half listening.

"Good. We also went ahead and programmed our numbers into your phone. We need to be able to check in with you."

"Okay, but I can't use my phone at one of my jobs."

"About that lil momma," Mic started. "You work a lot, which is totally bad ass, but we don't think you leave enough time to rest and take care of yourself."

You tried to protest but Aizawa cut you off, "You also shouldn't be working around so many animals. Even though we love animals, they can be unpredictable and one dog can trigger all the rest into a frenzy."

You were dumbfounded, "I've never heard of anything like that happening. One of my coworkers was pregnant last year, she worked until her maternity leave. Plus I need to be able to pay my bills. And don't offer to compensate me again."

"Why do you have to view it as compensation? We just want to take care of the mother of our child. Just think about it. Mic and I have to go take care of some business but we'll be back later this week."

---

Back at their home Hizashi was dramatically splayed on their bed.

"Babe why are you pouting?" Aizawa asked.

"Why can't we just bring her home already?"

Aizawa sympathized with his better half, but they needed to be methodical. He reminded Hizashi that they didn't need to cause her even more stress, especially so early into the pregnancy. If they played their cards right they would have their happy little family soon enough.

If they could ease you in to the relationship everything would be easier in the long run. They had been managing just fine until now, they could wait a few more months.

He joined Hizashi on the couch. Mic was comforting himself the way he usually did when he felt like this. He was scrolling through the countless photos they had collected since their chance encounter with you over a year ago. 

[dragynkeep]

I saw that you did top 5 best female & male characters in rwby and why, so i was wondering could you do the same but for 5 rwby worst female & male characters you dislike and why.

luke did this ask before along with the best one so i’mma steal this for me.

worst female characters.

robyn hill  —  hands down one of the most annoying additions to the show. she is meant to be robin hood yet fails in the character’s motivations & ideals in every instance, her outfit / general design are clunky & poorly thought out, her personality has the exact desirability of hot garbage juice & she herself is just as appealing. the only slightly fun thing about robyn is her voice actress, the amazing christina vee & the potential she could’ve had that i really enjoy seeing be brought out in fanfics instead. in canon? robyn can go rot.

blake belladonna  —  our resident all lives matter queen who was meant to be a champion for all minorities watching the show, a bisexual icon & a shining example of an abuse survivor ... only to fail on all three. blake’s influence on the racism storyline only makes her come off as a privileged brat who would lecture those who are just trying to survive & blame them for the actions of a terrorist organization she was part of, & it was dropped as soon as her abusive ex was killed. her actions as an abuse survive are nonsensical at times. & blake wasn’t even confirmed to be bisexual representation until eight years into the show & she / her female love interest still aren’t canonically together while the cishet writers hide behind a slow burn excuse that was never applied to their m / f couples.

ruby rose  —  it sounds nonsensical to say this about our main character & i wouldn’t have put her on this before v7 & 8, but her favouritism by the narrative in those two volumes to the point the story would break it’s back to justify her drove me crazy. i was watching this character who we were meant to root for make mistake after mistake after mistake & hide behind her age & inexperience like a coward; like she hadn’t shoved her way into this war & rejected everyone around her who had experience & wanted to help because they didn’t want to do it her way. ruby behaved like a petulant child & i have no doubt that this isn’t going to change.

cinder fall  —  listen she was always a middling type of character for me, i didn’t hate her but i didn’t love her either. cinder was just cinder, a kind of flat antagonist who didn’t go anywhere; until they tried to make her go somewhere & in doing so had her repeat the same character arc like three times. her “backstory” that was just cinderella lazily copy & pasted eight years after people had been asking for it was the final nail in the coffin for me. they waited too long & got too lazy.

nora valkyrie  —  again, not really a character i thought i would’ve put on here after i really started to like her in volume 4 when she & ren finally began to get character development. they were kind of in the background which annoyed me but they weren’t being obnoxious so it was fine. i want to go back to v4 - 6 so bad lmao; nora in these two volumes has been horrendous. not only did she ignore all of ren’s boundaries when he was trying to ask for space, she thought the appropriate action to him asking for that space & struggling to vocalize it was to kiss him without consent. and then, she co opts his entire arc anyways for v8 & now it’s nora who wants the space & ren is being unreasonable, ren is forcing her boundaries, ren is in the wrong. fuck her stupid ass one liner backstory too. nora dropped so far on my shitlist because of her actions the last two volumes smh.

worst male characters.

qrow branwen  —  again much like ruby & nora; i never thought i’d put qrow on here but his behaviour in these last volume especially has just dropped my fondness for him all the way to the grave lmao. he acts so much like ruby, a petulant child who was told no & lost his favourite toy, while acting like he didn’t specifically break that toy. he went from someone who was level headed, if an absolute asshole to a whiny manchild who spent the entire volume crying in a jail cell about how he was gonna kill his dead boyfriend’s boss because he doesn’t wanna admit he got him killed. & then he forgot about that in the last five minutes to cry about his potentially dead nieces, which only left me thinking, where was your concern about them the rest of this volume qrow? so yeah. on the shitty character list you go buddy.

ghira belladonna  —  i would change my mind & make this dumbass number one but he’s always annoyed me so i’m more settled with that emotion whereas qrow is a new development. but ghira is literally worse than annoying, he’s a useless character who takes up space & actively worsens the plot & the character  —  mainly blake  —  that he’s connected to. everything from his useless pacificism to the fact he’s a privileged faunus living in a mansion while his people are in huts to the fact that he’s now retaken the helm at the head of the white fang like?? what about his mentality has changed & how will that prevent another terroristic faction raising up in result of his negligence towards their people in favour of his own comfort driven pacifism?

hazel rainart  —  sir, your motivation is hokey & your hair is dumb & your braid ribs are giving me nightmares. originally i didn’t have as much of an issue with hazel infantilizing his grown twin sister because i thought we were at least going to get some rebuttal to this man using her death to metaphorically & then physically beat on ozpin. but no, he was validated & then had the gall to use her name in order to guilt trip ozpin in the “ no more gretchens ” line  —  like he hadn’t created dozens of gretchens in mistral with tyrian? sir you are a mass murderer  —  & then went out like an ass in one of the laziest redemption arcs i’ve ever seen. bravo, you suck.

adam taurus  —  he’s really not the highest on this list because i recognize that this is more because of milk & kornflake’s white comfort bleeding into their writing of a marginalized man & less of actually him as a character. adam is a bastard but he’s so much of a hate sink that i can’t take him seriously or hate him because of these traits; if mkek told me he killed puppies as a hobby, i wouldn’t hate adam for that, i’d hate them for continually making him edgier & edgier while ignoring their own racism around his writing.

scarlet david  —  this one’s a little bit of a joke one but also, i just hate this catty fay gay. get back in the closet sir because your face annoys me & your attitude stinks. i’m renting the down with cis bus just to run him over. ♥

[johannstutt413]

(requested by calligomiles)

Ansel walked out of the Doctor’s office, nervous but optimistic. He- no, hang on, they literally just filled out the paperwork together - SHE was now recognized in official documentation and in PRTS as a female, although until the rest of the procedures were successful (which, knowing her co-workers, they would be) her biology and psychology weren’t entirely in agreement on that. Thanks to the support of the rest of Reserve Squad 4, however, the Cautus knew she could be confident in herself. This was right...even if she wasn’t sure what she’d tell her uncle the next time they saw each other. After all, he’d always said she was “the son he’d never had...”

With that mix of hope and trepidation weighing on hi- her, it’s no surprise that she accidentally walked smack into Rosa coming the other way down the hall to the Doctor’s office. “Ah! O-oh, Miss Rosa. My apologies.”

“Oh, I’m fine, Ansel.” The Ursus picked herself up before helping her Cautus collider. “Congratulations are in order, I hope?”

“Congratulations?” The Medic held onto her hand after she’d stood up.

Natalya smiled. “Logistics just got the email to make some changes to your paperwork going forward.”

“Oh, yes.” Ansel blushed. “It’s still a little hard to believe everyone’s okay with it, but everything’s gone well so far. I’m a little nervous about explaining things to my uncle, though.”

“Let me know if you want any help with that. I had to explain to my parents, too.”

The Cautus blinked. “You did? I never would have guessed.”

“I was fortunate they decided my mental health was worth the price.” She immediately regretted reminding herself of her family, but it was for a good cause. “Anyway, here - my phone number. If you need me, for anything at all, and I’m not in the Logistics office, send a message or call me.”

“Thank you, Miss Rosa. Were you going to see the Doctor?” She pulled out her cell phone to add the Ursus to her contacts on the spot.

The Sniper nodded. “I’m delivering a few reports and checking on the rest of the USSGG before I finish my lunch break.”

“Ah, then I won’t keep you.” The Medic put her phone away. “Enjoy the rest of your day, Miss Rosa.”

“You as well, Miss Ansel.” Both smiling, and the Cautus blushing, they went their separate ways.

Ansel spent the next few days (during her breaks) thinking about the inevitable conversation with her uncle, even though the only way that talk would happen was of her own initiative...at least, that’s what she thought until her uncle sent her a text: ‘Hey champ, how’s everything?’

“...*beep beep beep* *whrrrrrr*...Hello?” Natalya yawned on the other side of the line. “I hadn’t considered that you work the night shift.”

“My uncle texted me.”

A brief silence. “Give me five minutes and we can talk in my room.”

“Thank you.” Rosa hung up, leaving the Medic a moment to collect herself before telling Ptilopsis she had to take care of an urgent matter and leaving Medical. ‘I hope I’m not bothering her too much.’

‘I hope she doesn’t mind the mess,’ Natalya thought to herself as she tried to flatten out some of the wrinkles in her pajamas. Having done the best she could, the Ursus put on a kettle for tea and waited for the Cautus to arrive.

Just before the water’d finished boiling, there was a knock on the door. Rosa let her guest in before immediately going for teacups. “I put the kettle on for you, since I think a cup of tea could do us both some good. Any preference?”

“Low caffeine, please.” Ansel halfway collapsed into one of the three dining room table chairs available to her. “I’m sorry to wake you up this late, but I saw the message come in and I just...”

“You’ll never be a bother to me, Ansel, regardless of when your hour of need comes about. Honey?”

The Medic nodded. “Yes, thank- you have honey?”

“My physician prescribed it to me with a firmly regulated dosage, fret not.” She put a single drop in her own tea nonetheless, along with two cubes of sugar, before bringing both cups to the table. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can get you as you think of it.”

“Thank you, Rosa.” No need for the ‘miss’es at this point.

The Ursus took that informality one step further as she blew on her piping-hot drink. “You can call me Natalya, or Nat, or some variation if you like. If you don’t mind me cutting directly to business, you said your uncle texted you?”

“He did.” The Cautus pulled out her phone, opened the message, and set it on the table between them. “It’s a simple enough greeting, but him saying ‘Champ’ brought all the fear back, and I want to tell him. I want him to be happy for me, but...”

“You’re worried he won’t be.” A more than relatable experience for Rosa - she could practically feel the tightness in her chest from her own announcement.

She nodded, sighing as she inhaled some soothing tea-steam. “This does help. Yes, that’s exactly what worries me. I moved in with him originally because my father sent me to him, and since he didn’t have any kids of his own, I was the son he’d never had - or have, in fact. I have a few cousins on his side, but they’re also girls, just, you know.”

“I can see why that would complicate things for you.” The Sniper took a moment to consider her words. “Do you know what you want to say, as in the particular words?”

“I have a message drafted already. More than anything, I guess I just needed to not do this alone.”

Her words hung in the air for a moment as Natalya wiped a stray water droplet from her face. The steam must have precipitated on her face. “I can sit closer, if that would help?”

“...Yes, please.” They both stood up at the same time, hands on the backs of their chairs to move to where the other was seated. Ansel chuckled, and Rosa followed suit. “We’ll meet in the middle, then.”

“If you’d rather, there’s also the couch.” The Ursus pointed over to a loveseat across the apartment flanked by side tables.

The Medic glanced at her cup. “Can I take my tea with me?”

“I wouldn’t dream of disallowing it.” She walked her guest to the more comfortable seat, both with tea in hand, and set hers on the closer side table before settling down. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Mmhmm.” The Cautus took a deep breath, opened her phone...closed it, opened it again, another deep breath, and started typing.

As ‘I’m doing quite well. There is something I need to tell you...’ made its way across the world through the internet, Natalya gently set a hand on Ansel’s shoulder. “You’re doing great.”

“Thanks.” She took another deep breath, noticeably shaking. “Do you think-” *DING!*

“Go ahead.”

The Cautus blinked. “Alright...Here goes everything.” Notes tab, copy, paste, send.

“Now all that’s left is-” *DING!* “Ah. That was quick.”

“Quick, but- oh! He...he must’ve had his message prewritten, too. Did he expect this?...Uh-huh...Uh-huh...Ohhh, really? I had no idea. Wow.” Ansel took a minute or two to type a response before putting her phone away and sighing contentedly.

Rosa, who hadn’t been reading over her shoulder, waited patiently for a moment before asking, “What did he say?”

“Oh, right.” She blushed, invisible in the dim light cast from the dining room. “He said that my oldest cousin, his eldest daughter, recently started hormonal therapy.”

“What a coincidence,” Natalya observed with a smile.

That made the Medic blush harder. “He asked me to keep him posted, and to send Reisen a message, too, because he misses me. I...wow.”

“That’s wonderful.” The Sniper was restraining herself - she’d have shouted from sympathetic joy if it wasn’t so late at night. “I’m glad everything worked out.”

“Me, too.”

Another moment of silence, as the Cautus basked in her victory and the Ursus basked in the radiated satisfaction before eventually taking her hand off Ansel’s shoulder. “Anything you want to do right now?”

“I...Oh, right. It’s one in the morning.” She sighed. “You probably want to go back to bed, I’m guessing?”

“If you need to go, or if-” Rosa caught herself before finishing that thought.

A bit late, though, as Ansel cocked her head. “Or if?”

“No, just that. Now’s not even a remotely appropriate time for that other question.” Natalya’s face now matched the Medic’s, who now realized the incomplete thought in its entirety for herself.

“N-not that I would refuse on principle,” the Cautus managed after some internal deliberation, “but I um...It’s a little unexpected.”

The Sniper grabbed a pillow and buried her face in it. “I should go back to bed. Clearly I left my dignity with my sheets.”

“If that’s what you’d prefer, then I’ll head back to Medical, but I told them not to expect me.”

“You did?” Rosa dropped the pillow and cleared her throat. “Well, then, perhaps, if you’d like, we could maybe, potentially...cuddle?” Why did that word sound so childish right now?

Regardless, it was just about the best one she could’ve chosen. “I would like that.”

“Oh thank goodness.” Natalya lurched to her feet, reaching for Ansel’s hand as she did and finding it. “I’m sorry for being so immodest about this, truly it’s an unenviable position I just sort of thrust you into- not that that’s what I was thinking of when I asked, of course, I just, I, er...perhaps the honey was a mistake after all.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m tired, too.” The Cautus meant it, but there was a smile on her face as she said it that proved that wasn’t the entire story.

Frankly, Rosa was adorable when she was flustered.

[gstqaobc]

'I still don't believe Meghan': Piers Morgan tweets defiant Churchill message and says he stands by view that saw him quit GMB - as Susanna Reid tells morning viewers 'it's going to be very different' without him

Ranvir Singh will host Good Morning Britain with Susanna Reid today - the day after Piers Morgan stormed off

Mr Morgan faced a social media campaign over comments he made about Harry and Meghan's interview

He faced a huge online backlash after he said he 'didn't believe a word' of the Duke and Duchess' Oprah talk

Twitter users responded by sharing links to Ofcom and gave instructions on how to complain to TV regulator

Ofcom today announced it was launching an investigation following the raft of complaints from Twitter users

MailOnline editor at large, who has helped show to record ratings, had blazing row with Alex Beresford

They were discussing the Sussexes' interview with Oprah, where the couple accused Royal Family of racism

Piers Morgan today doubled down after quitting Good Morning Britain by tweeting that he still doesn't believe any of Meghan's incendiary claims to Oprah in a defiant message sent as the show began without him with Strictly star Ranvir Singh in his chair.Susanna Reid admitted it will be a 'very different' programme without her co-star of five years and told viewers this morning that he had been a 'voice for many of you' through Brexit and the coronavirus pandemic.Mr Morgan sensationally quit the show on the day it scored record ratings after he told viewers he 'didn't believe a word she [Meghan] said' to Oprah and branded her 'Princess Pinocchio' after an interview where the Duchess said she was suicidal while five months pregnant and accused the Royal Family of racism. His views sparked more than 41,000 complaints made to Ofcom.

Just after the show began at 6am this morning he tweeted to his 7.8million followers: 'On Monday, I said I didn’t believe Meghan Markle in her Oprah interview. I’ve had time to reflect on this opinion, and I still don’t. If you did, OK. Freedom of speech is a hill I’m happy to die on. Thanks for all the love, and hate. I’m off to spend more time with my opinions'.

He also shared a quote by Britain's greatest prime minister Winston Churchill, which said:  'Some people's idea of free speech is that they are free to say what they like but if anyone else says anything back, that is an outrage'.

On an extraordinary day for the show he also walked off set live on air after the show's weatherman Alex Beresford accused him of unfairly 'trashing' Meghan, branding him 'diabolical' and saying: 'I'm sorry but Piers just spouts off on a regular basis and we have to sit there and listen'. Mr Beresford was not on screen today, with Laura Tobin presenting the GMB weather this morning.

Hours later Mr Morgan quit, with his supporters defending his views and claiming his exit is more bad news for free speech and a sad indictment of cancel culture in Britain after critics including Labour MP Dawn Butler encouraged people to complain to ITV and Ofcom. Others have questioned whether GMB's viewing figures will hold-up without its star, who helped add a million new viewers in his time on the show.

After Ranvir Singh, a GMB reporter and star of Strictly last year, stepped in for Piers today, Susanna then gave a short speech on the tumultuous events of the past 24 hours.

Ms Reid said: 'A number of people will know the news and many of you will not and will be surprised that Piers Morgan is not here this morning. Now, Piers and I have disagreed on many things and that dynamic was one of the things viewers loved about the programme.

'He is without doubt an outspoken, challenging, opinionated, disruptive broadcaster. He has many critics and he has many fans. You will know that I disagreed with him about Meghan's interview. He himself clarified his comments about her mental health on the show yesterday.'

Reid said there are 'many voices' on Good Morning Britain and 'everyone has their say'. She added: 'But now Piers has decided to leave the programme. Some of you may cheer and others may boo.

'He has been my presenting partner, Monday to Wednesday, for more than five years and during Brexit and the pandemic and other issues, he has been a voice for many of you and a voice that many of you have railed against.

'It is certainly going to be very different but shows go on and so on we go.'

Ranvir Singh, Reid's co-presenter for the morning, replied: 'Well said.' She described Morgan as a 'big character' and said 'many viewers will be absolutely gutted'. Singh called Morgan 'Marmite' and acknowledged his role in Good Morning Britain's success. Ms Singh is amongst the favourites to take the job, but said: 'I was here anyway, don't read anything into this, I was here anyway. I've shifted seats on this brand new desk'.

It came after 55-year-old Mr Morgan shocked viewers by walking off camera during a heated on-air row with weatherman Alex Beresford, saying 'I'm done with this' after being challenged on his position of the Duke and Duchess by his co-star. Afterwards ITV CEO Carolyn McCall - who formerly worked for the left-wing Guardian newspaper - said that the broadcaster's media and entertainment MD Kevin Lygo was speaking to Mr Morgan.And last night it was announced that Mr Morgan had quit the hugely popular ITV show - which he co-hosted with Susanna Reid.An ITV spokesman told MailOnline: 'Following discussions with ITV, Piers Morgan has decided now is the time to leave Good Morning Britain. ITV has accepted this decision and has nothing further to add.'It is understood Mr Morgan had been asked to apologise for his remarks which had been criticised by mental health campaigners but had declined.It brings to an end his six-year long association with the breakfast show, which he originally joined as a guest host in 2015, during which time he has made it must-see TV with a strong of exclusives and his strident opinions.Ironically it came the day after GMB recorded its highest ever viewing figures in the wake of Megan Markle's blockbuster Oprah Winfrey interview.It also came on the day that he had followed up with an agenda-setting interview with her father Thomas in which Mr Markle had taken aim at 'snotty' Harry, defended the British people and Royals against her claims of racism and revealed that he felt she had betrayed him, not the other way around.Earlier Morgan, who this evening Tweeted a picture of himself with former manager David Ferriter and the message 'trust your gut', also addressed his previous comments regarding the Duchess's mental health.Yesterday, he was criticised by the charity, Mind, after saying he 'didn't believe a word she said'. I wouldn't believe it if she read me a weather report,' he added.Today he addressed these remarks and said: 'When we talked about this yesterday I said as an all-encompassing thing I don't believe what Meghan Markle is saying generally in this interview and I still have serious concerns about the veracity of a lot of what she said.'But let me just state for the record on my position on mental illness and on suicide.'On mental illness and suicide these are clearly extremely serious things and should be taken extremely seriously and if someone is feeling that way they should get the treatment and the help they need every time. Every time.'And if they belong to an institution like the Royal family and they go and seek that help they should absolutely be given it.'It's not for me to question if she felt suicidal, I am not in her mind and that is for her to say.'My real concern was a disbelief frankly and I'm prepared to be proven wrong on this and if I'm wrong it is a scandal, that she went to a senior member of the Royal household and told them she was suicidal and was told she could not have any help because it would be a bad look for the family.'If that is true a) that person should be fired and b) The Royal family have serious questions that need to be answered.'But it was not enough to stop a wildfire social media campaign against him that resulted in 41,000 complaints to TV watchdog Ofcom by last night who announced they had launched a probe under their 'harms' code. The campaign featured an avalanche of tweets which criticised the host and supporting Meghan - some sharing direct links to the Ofcom complaints page. Among those launching criticism at Morgan were Labour MP Dawn Butler, who copied in the Twitter page of ITV to her Tweet.

In her social media post, which shared a comment from Mind criticising Morgan's remarks, she asked: '@ITV what have you decided to do?'Another Twitter user said: 'It took me about seven minutes to complain to fill in the Ofcom online form to complain about Piers Morgan's disgusting behaviour on mental health and race issues. It's not much, but if enough people complain they have to do something!' One Twitter user - who said: 'I am determined to get Piers off GMB Lolz. Which petitions do I need to sign?' - received a response with a link to the Ofcom complaints page.Their decision to act was in stark contrast to what happened with 24,500 people complained about dance troop Diversity's BLM-inspired routine on Britain's Got Talent last year when the watchdog refused a probe and said: 'We carefully considered a large number of complaints about this artistic routine, an area where freedom of expression is particularly important.'Diversity's performance referred to challenging and potentially controversial subjects, and in our view, its central message was a call for social cohesion and unity.'Any depictions of violence by the performers were highly stylised and symbolic of recent global events, and there was no explicit reference to any particular political organisation - but rather a message that the lives of black people matter.'Mr Morgan is also Editor at large for MailOnline and writes a twice weekly column for the website. A spokesman for MailOnline said: 'This is a very sad day for British free speech and one ITV will come to regret very quickly. We stand by Piers 120%.'  LOADS MORE ON THE DM

WELL HE HAS CERTAIN MADE HIS OPINION CLEAR AND MANY AGREE, MYSELF INCLUDED! EVEN GIVEN PAST ERRORS HE IS TO BE COMMENDED FOR TAKING SUCH A PUBLIC STANCE!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

[antarestyl]

Got not tagged but saw this meme and wanted to do it :D

I tag @namekian-maoh and whoever else wanna try!

How many works do you have on AO3?

56 so far.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

600021 at this moment... damnit, I like nice and round numbers more XD

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

29 XD well, some are crossover and some are almost-the-same (especially with Video games where I often take multiple entires in a series into account and tag them accordingly)

As for my fandoms:

Video games: Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Among Us, Bowser's Fury, Deltarune, Don't Starve, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Final Fantasy XV, Luigi's Mansion, Mario & Luigi RPG, Monkey Island, Pikmin, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Odyssey, Super Paper Mario, Undertale, (+ AU of Undertale)

Comic/Cartoon/Manga/Anime: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh! (All Media Types), Homestuck, Gravity Falls, DCU (Comics), Booster Gold (Comics),  Blue Beetle (Comics)

Books/Movies/Divers: Harry Potter, Mystery Skulls Animated, Olsen-banden | The Olsen Gang (Movies), Ties of Lapis (Skyrim-AU),

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. PTA Sans and other glorious things       

73016 words, 3192 Kudos, so far my most successful work XD It’s still ongoing. Undertale Fanfic, Monster-on-the-Surface, True Pacifist Ending, PTA AU, SansxToriel in the Background, everybody is here, mostly happy, silly and only a small dose of angst from time to time. Later chapters with more story.

2. TrioBlasterSets AU - Six puppys and 3 flames                 

270813 word, 758 Kudos. I write this AU together with @namekian-maoh . Still ongoing. Undertale Baby-Blaster AU with some Underfell and Underswap thrown into it. Dadby, Badster, mostly family fluff and dealing with the experiment!gaster-blaster Background of 3 skeleton children. Also 3 flames who take care of them that have way more drama going on themselves than nessessary. Chapters are not in chronological order. Has a few Spin-offs too (including some NSFW oneshorts about the flames and their relationship ;) )

3. So I won't regret another day 

19214 words, 320 Kudos. Undertale Underfell AU, Underfell Sansby with some healthy relationships, the planning of a revolt against an insane king, monster still being monster and not really made for violence in an violent setting. If officially finished but I write new chapters when the fancy strikes me.

4. Grillby's                 

9894 words, 265 Kudos. Deltarune/Undertale fanfic with a Spin, named Plushyrune (aka Deltarune where eveything is the same, just with Sansby and Sans makes plushies). Started as just pure silly fluff, kinda got a plot now about the kids of Deltarune. Still ongoing, new chapter is 80% done ;)

5. Something old, something new... 

6579 words, 208 Kudos. Pure Post-Pacifist Surface Sansby fluff. Mostly from Grillby’s POV how they fall in love and be silly and in love. Still ongoing, haven’t really had to mojo to write more for it lately, but I WILL return at some point.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! I used to not comment on comments because I had this irrational feeling of “cheating the numbers” if I reply to comments but... screw that, I want to interact with people! So I try to answer any and all comments now :)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Ufff, for me it’s a tie between The last chip  and Laughter in the Darkness. The Last Chip is a Yu-gi-Oh! Fanfic in a series of Kaiba spiraling downwards after the Manga/Anime ended and sets up the events of Dark Site of Dimensions. It ends pretty much with Kaiba ending up getting borderline suicidal in his Obsession with the Pharaoh.

Laughter in the Darkness is the Epilog I wrote for my Gravity Falls x Amnesia Crossover where Ford is pretty much an Amnesia-Protagonist and archives the very worst ending for himself. Mind the tags if you read this. It ends with Ford at the lowest possible point for himself and its open ended if he is going fully insane or if Bill Chiper really is still around. (and it’s not clear what outcome is the better one)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, not really. I am a chill writer in my own little corners of the fandom and most people leave me alone. I did get one “But Queer is a SLUR” comment way back in the day where it was still all “????” to say that out loud. But otherwise? Nah. I am not important enough for hate, lol.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have XD Not much thou. I wrote so far an mastubation scene with the one going down on himself heavily NOT BEING ALRIGHT while doing so XD Other than that I have 2 NSFW Undertale fics with some hot flame-on-flame action. I do like writing not-standard-sex (as in Sex that doesn’t requite human genitila) Otherwise I like to hint or describe feelings more than the act itself. More lime than lemon ;)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. As I said, I am not important enough for that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had some ppl asking for permission to translate (which of course) but as far as I know there are no translations out there as of yet.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah, I am writing the TrioBlasterSet AU with @namekian-maoh I did Co-write some fics way back during my fanfiction.de time too but that’s a long time ago.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I ship a lot and am a dirty multishipper XD I have to many ships to really call one out as my favorite.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

TrioBlasterSets AU because there is always MORE to tell with this AU XD

What are your writing strengths?

I am the Queen of Worldbuilding and Crossovers baby!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Only do it if you have a REALLY good reason for it AND if you have a good gasp on the language. Like, nothing takes me out of a fic faster than reading stuff in horrible German written by people who were to lazy to just copy/paste the word from google translate (my time in the Apollo Justice fandom has seriously scared me. It’s Fräulein, not Fraulein or Fraülein! Also you can’t just swap ei and ie around THOSE ARE DIFFERENT SOUNDS! als we have the letter ß it’s a shap s sound you can’t just use/not use it as you please!)

Also in 90% of all cases it’s just not nessessary. Write what you wanna write, TELL us it was said in a different language OR let the POV character just tell us their hear something said in an other language they couldn’t understand.

What I want to say is: Have some respect of the language you want to use!

-

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

I THINK it was Harry Potter? IDK I wrote a cringy Star Trek Parodie when I was like 14 or so and those OCs went through a lot from that time on forward but Idk if that even counts XD

-

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

The Game of Our Life It’s a series of Mario x Homestuck Fics I wrote before Undertale came along and swept me away XD I love all my fics of course but this one was the first really big one I finished on english and it was the one I am most proud of of the world-building. It has angst, it has lore, my writing style was just really developing there and I am just proud of it. (Also it’s very self-indulging so yeah XD love it a LOT)

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Thanks for the tag @halfthealphabet ! Fanfic writer questions ...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

er, 190 apparently. Not really sure how that happened. There are a few more on the way for the AU-gust challenge :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Not including the episode notes; 491,066

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

It’s actually more than I thought: the total list is 16, though almost all of my fics are for Haven. In fact I got curious enough to work it out; literally 90% of them involve Haven.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wrong Number (Nuke/Threegulls)

Anticipation (Threegulls)

Tell Me You Meant It (Naudrey/Nuke/Threegulls)

I Love the Sound (Nuke)

I Could Stand To See A Little More (Naudrey/Threegulls)

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely ‘Addicted to the feel of her skin’, by a long shot. 110% angst from start to finish.

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Hmmmmm well … maybe ‘Made of Aether and Held Together with Love’ (an alternative version of Dwight and Duke’s final scene). Or I like the ending to the series that begins with ‘I Could Stand To See A Little More’, and also the ending to ‘Tell Me You Meant It’, aaaannndddd the ending to ‘The Three Of Us’ which I just went to re-read and it actually made me cry because it is kind of emotional but in a happy way :)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

Yes, I’ve got a few. Not sure about the craziest, maybe The Smuggler and The Big Bad’… Haven and Buffy ... what happens when a vampire drinks Crocker blood full of aether?

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yesssss, mostly M/M or M/M/F, mostly Nuke or Threegulls. Almost all of it is Haven. There’s some fluffy stuff, some angsty stuff, some stuff with restraints and planned out games, some where they just jump each other, some getting-together stuff, some established-relationship stuff, some based closely on canon, some in AU settings pretty far from canon, some non-con stuff, some crossovers. I’m currently working on something involving shibari (even though I know nothing about it, so we’ll see how that goes!) Oh and a couple of things in the works for Lost Girl :)

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes - it’s lovely to get comments, so it just seems like the natural thing to respond.

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No. Mostly due to writing in a small and friendly fandom I think :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Someone copied and pasted some of my stuff into their fic (without any prior interaction with me). That was a pretty surreal experience reading my exact words in some stranger’s fic. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!!! Amazingly yes! Into Russian!!! Still blows my mind that that happened. The original is here (explicit PWP)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not much, a little bit with @greyhavenisback - ‘Proposal’ (fluffy Nuke fluff :)

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Nathan/Duke

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Too many. There's a Buffy/Firefly crossover that I’m kind of sad I stalled on. And a Haven/Firefly crossover that I can’t quite seem to get together, even though I know how I want it to end which is usually a fairly solid sign I’ll finish something. And my current ongoing WIP has potential plot spanning at least 27 years so that … is going to keep me busy for a while lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Well … we’ve established I’ve written a fair amount of smut, so I guess that’s probably on the list. Most of those top-five-by-kudos are pretty smutty ones. And, idk maybe characterisation, dialogue. I think what I’m drawn to most is describing how these characters talk to each other, how they feel about each other, how they react to each other. So sometimes that’s a line of dialogue, sometimes it’s trying to describe the tone of voice or the type of smile or the way one person reaches for another, or the way their breath catches when one of those other things happens. Trying to capture an emotion and pin it down into words on a page. I think that’s a big part of what keeps me writing so hopefully I have some aptitude in it XD I’ve had some really nice comments about specific lines of dialogue being in character :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. Planning anything out, but specifically any detailed kind of a plot. Like I always have really vague thoughts that it would be cool to do a Haven crossover with something like White Collar or Leverage … but those intricate crimes and cons type of plot lines are really just beyond me.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don’t have the language skills to do that. It’s not something I’ve come across as a reader.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Haven! I never expected to even read any fanfiction, let alone write anything. Then Duke Crocker and Nathan Wuornos buried their way into my head and here we are ;)

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

Ooooof, I’m supposed to pick one?

OK Let’s go with Made of Aether and Held Together with Love (an alternative version of Dwight and Duke’s final scene, in 1770 words) because it tackles the one aspect of canon that I really can not get my head around why the writers did that. Like, I’m not saying everything else is perfect but I can kind of let most things go. And I can understand why they might have wanted to write Duke’s ending the way they did … but in that case, guys, you can’t also give Lizzie the ending you did. It doesn’t make any sense; pick one or the other. And there’s no attempt in the show to explain that contradiction; it just feels like they didn’t think it through, which is frustrating.

And I like how that fic worked out and how I can visualise it happening because it would have been so easy for them to actually film it like that - I can almost convince myself it actually happened on screen ;)

Tagging ... anyone who sees this! I think most people I'd tag already have been, but if you see this and you write stuff, give it a go - always interesting to look back over old stuff :)

[shay-typeerror]

The Deaderpool Server Story - A Counter Argument

As one of the now-exiled former admins of the Deaderpool Discord server, I wish to issue my own statement in direct response to EG the Watcher's Patreon post that was just published. As she has done us the courtesy of not sharing screenshots of private conversations or resorting to untrue defamatory attacks on us personally, I will extend the same to her.

But there is a counter-story to the one that EG is presenting you with right now. Her claim that we refused discussions with her or were somehow unwilling to compromise with her is very much not the real truth. We attempted on a number of occasions to bring up certain issues to EG and generally were met either with silence or brush-off comments and were not given the opportunity to communicate with her in the way that we wanted to. Any time something was uncomfortable for EG or contrary to her own personal wishes, she would respond with days-long absences or just quickly abandoning the conversations taking place, retreating into the DMs of people that were apparently less opposed to her personal whims.

Myself, LeRoiDeTout, Isy, Keke, SimNes, Kuttoe and a few other team members were suddenly and abruptly either banned or stripped of all staff roles on April 5th. For us, it was sudden, shocking, and truth be told... extremely cold. We were given no explanation from EG or anyone else remaining on the team, and when some of us attempted to contact EG we were met with blocks or completely ignored. If EG wants to make the claim that some of us had "bad people skills" then she should start looking in the mirror. I have been told by a large number of individuals that it was EG herself (and a few of her remaining over-zealous moderators) that made the server atmosphere tense and hostile, not the former admins as EG is postulating presently.

In the aftermath of this, other team members opted to leave over the way that we were treated. I have been personally contacted by several people, both current and now-former team members, modders, and even regular users of the server who feel completely disgusted by what happened to us in the manner that it went down. The minute that we were gone, the remaining team immediately began scavenging resources from our supposedly "intrusive" bots. EG's now ex-admin team put thousands of hours of work into her server. You can't look anywhere there without seeing things that we left behind. LeRoi's bot Bella and my bot N0S4A2 were complimented by server members on a daily basis. Most of the channels there were created by us, especially newer ones like our monthly contests, the entire nsfw section, and the channels like the builders and stylists channels, which we created in an attempt to make the server a more fun place for people to spend their time.

And we were cast out abruptly and with zero explanations. That was the thanks we got for all of our hard work over the last year or more. We were repaid for everything we did for EG with anxiety, frustration, anger, even tears. Sleeplessness and loss of appetite. Not even a "so long and thanks for all the fish". A Discord server should not cause this level of trauma in people, but yet here we are.

That's all I wish to say on the matter, and if anybody contacts me wanting "dirt" on EG, they will be refused it. I just want to move on, now. I have a new Discord server in the works that will be opening in the coming days. In many ways it will be similar to the Deaderpool server, because we have every right to reclaim our work and efforts. But this server is not a competitor for EG's server, just an alternative. There's no reason that our new server and hers cannot co-exist peacefully. If you miss our Bella bot or preferred our style of mod and error support, you're welcome to join it when it opens to the public. In the meantime we can also be found on the servers of some great modders like TwistedMexi, Basemental, and Scumbumbo, amongst others.

I would also like to request here, because I am blocked and cannot contact EG privately, that her server ceases copy-pasting screenshots of the bot posts that myself, LeRoi, and Keke worked tirelessly on. I don't think that's too much to ask.

Best Regards,

Shay / Shino Nox

[wayward-mikaelson]

The Run In

Word Count: 4692

Pairing: Misha x Reader 

Characters: Reader, Misha, Diego (OG Character), Xander (OG Character), Divorce Lawyer, Police Receptionist, George (OG Character), Female Officer, and Male Officer

Summary: The Reader gets away from her abusive husband. After bumping into a stranger, the Reader forms a friendship with him which the Readers soon-to-be ex-Husband finds out about. 

Disclaimer: Language, Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Domestic Violence, Mentions of degradation, Blood, Implied Smut

Disclaimer 2: This work of fiction contains Domestic Violence. If you have been a victim of DV please read at your own discretion. If you are in a DV situation please call 1-800-799-7233, of you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you are in an emergency, call 911. There are also DV/IPV programs and shelters in your area who can help you. 

Disclaimer 3: Any of the shorts that are hot and steamy, I want to put out there that it's in no way disrespectful towards Vicki at all. I love her to death and respect that marriage between her and Misha. So when reading those shorts, know that it all takes place in an alternate world where they aren't married at all.

A/N: Sorry this is late. I have been hitting some sort of writing block. I have the words in my head but for some reason I can’t get them out. 

A/N 2: Tag your anyone who loves Misha! 

*18+ Content. Anyone younger than 18 will need to move along. I do not want to risk my account being deleted. 

**Please DO NOT copy and paste my work anywhere WITHOUT my permission and WITHOUT giving me the proper credit. I work way too hard on my work and don’t want it to get stolen.

***This work is also posted on Instagram, Wattpad, and AO3. Go show it some love over there.

****Please follow me on my other accounts Instagram, Wattpad, Twitter, and AO3

*****DMs are CLOSED for REQUESTS. I gotta finish up my other two projects. 

Forever Tags: @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @elansaidaris​ @hobby27​ @440mxs-wife​ 

I sit alone in the apartment, huddled on the couch. The fight had been bad this time. I mean, all fights with Diego were bad but, this one in particular had been pretty bad. I look around the trashed apartment and try not to replay the events that took place almost an hour before. The television was busted, a couple chairs had been thrown over, the mirror my mother had salvaged and repurposed for me was destroyed, glass was everywhere, and my grandmothers clock she passed down to me was busted up.

I don't know how I got here.

I don't know how I let it get so bad.

I slowly get up off the couch and watch my step all the way to the bathroom. I flip the light on and there, glowing bright red, on my face is the handprint of my husband. The throwing of things has been going on for a couple years. Hitting is new and Diego never hit me until recently. I should have left him months ago. Maybe even years ago.

After that first hit.

It was after a Christmas party at his office. We got into a fight about me talking to his co workers and about the dress I wore. He said he had been embarrassed by it all. I'm the stand you ground type of woman who snaps back. The moment I had snapped back, was the moment Diego hit me. Diego has been surprised so he left for the evening. I should have just packed and left. I didn't, I waited an apology that never really came and when it did, I knew he didn't mean it.

Tonight, it was about the fact I went out with a few friends and forgot about dinner for Diego. When I came home with take out, he lost it. Called me every name in the book. Threw things and hit me and left.

I slowly touch the already welting mark. I suck in a sharp breath when my cool hand touches the raw skin. It stings so bad that even my tears make it sting. I look at myself again in the mirror. "How pathetic," I whisper to myself. "How pathetic of you to have stayed this long over a boy that can't handle his anger. That's going to change."

I walk out of the bathroom to the room Diego and I share together. I head straight towards the closet and pull out a duffle back and begin to fill with the important things. Clothes. Some shoes. Bathroom and shower necessities. I swap out purses, leaving both my car keys and phone in my old one. I can't risk having Diego try looking for me. I log into my bank account and change every security question and answer. I close my eyes. I never thought I would need to do this yet here I am.

I look around the apartment one last time. My eyes land on the photo from our wedding day. I grab it and rip the picture from the frame. I take a lighter and set it ablaze in the kitchen sink with a few other photos. Taking a deep breath, I finally make my exist from the apartment.

I walk to the nearest bus stop and wait for the bus to show up. Even in the dark it's difficult to hide my swollen face from the world. So I keep it down and tucked behind the collar of my coat. When the bus finally shows up, I get on it and pay my fair. I go sit in the back and ride it all the way to where I need to get off. The ride is quiet. A few people stare at me when they catch sight of my face. I turn away from them and keep my face hidden away. I stare at my bags and think, this is all I have now. A few clothes, money, these bags, a few personal items, etc.

The bus stops and I quickly grab my bags and get off. I turn this way and that looking for the building I need to go into. I spot it, It's hidden behind some trees and another bus stop across the street. I make my way across the street and into the police station.

There is a lady sitting at the front desk. It looks like she's packing up to go home. She gives me a friendly smile and sets her bag aside.

"What can I do for you?" She asks. I see her zero in on the mark on my face and the look in her eyes looks like she's about to cry. "I think I know what papers you need." She turns and leaves the area and returns with a few papers in her hands. She slowly hands me the papers and a pen. "Do you need a safe place to fill these out? Theres a room I can take you to."

I nod, I want to cover as much of my trail and steps as I can. Diego is a smart man. He will soon learn I left him and will soon come looking for me. The lady walks me to a room with a table. She tells me that she won't close the door because some people in my situation get triggered. She walks to the officer that is sitting at a desk across the way and tells him something while pointing to me. The officer looks at me and then nods to the woman.

I look down at the Order of Protection and Restraining Order papers and take a deep breath. When I start to fill the paper out, I notice that I am still wearing my wedding ring and band. I take them off and set them in my bag. As I finish my paper work, I slowly get up and walk out of the room. The officer sees me and slowly approaches me.

"I can take care of this for you," He says reaching for the paper. "Now how about we get some ice for that mark and have a look to make sure it isn't more than raw skin." The officer sits me down and leaves. When he comes back he has a small ice pack and places it on my face. The cool pack feels so nice.

"I have a question," I say as the officer pulls out a first aid box and starts to look at my face.

"Yeah?" he responds.

"Is there a way to put in your system that I am not a missing person but on the run from my husband?" I flinch when the officer wipes my face with the alcohol wipe.

"Sorry," He starts to apply an antibiotic to my face. "If or when your husband comes to us looking for you, our system will actually show that these orders are on him. What will happen is that they will take your information and tell him he has two days until you are declared missing. In that time frame he would have been served with the restraining order." The officer puts a large band aid over my face.

"Good," I say.

"How long?" the officer asks.

"Long enough to finally say fuck it and leave his ass."

***

A few days pass. I'm staying at a hotel and paying by the day. I purchased a brand new phone and got a new number. I called my parents and told them what was going on. They were mad and sadden by the situation but are happy that I got out when could. I got word from my officer friend that the restraining order was delivered but he said that Diego didn't look happy.

A week passes and I am still staying at the hotel. Not many apartments won't rent to me until I'm legally separated from Diego. I meet with a lawyer to have divorce papers drawn up and served to him but according to her, once the papers were signed, it would take a few months for them to be filed.

"Now all we need to do is get you two in here to sing these?" the lady says.

"About that," I fold my hands. "I have a protection order and restraining order on him."

The lawyer nodded her head. "I see. Well, I will have someone deliver to him and see if he will sign them. Just be prepared," She reaches for my hand and takes it in hers. "Some men like him, they will stall this as much as they can to get you to meet in person."

I nod. "I understand, in that case, if I have to meet him, I will have someone I trust with me."

As predicted, a week later, the lawyer calls me ups and tells me that Diego refuses to sign. Says I'm having a mental breakdown and needs to just come home so we can work it out. The lawyer also mentions that Diego had said that I'm lying about him throwing things that it's all me and that he only hit me in self defense because according to him, I slapped him before he slapped me.

I sit back in my hotel room in hot anger. I can feel the steam of my anger coming off my skin. I'm angry he won't sign the papers. I'm angry he started to make up shit about me. But jokes on him, I kept a private album on my iCloud of all the times he hit me. It my friends idea, she encouraged me to document it all somewhere where he doesn't know the password to. She passed away about a year ago from getting hit by a drunk driver.

"I'm going to need a printer," I say looking at the countless pictures of abuse.

***

The next day I go out and purchase a decently priced printer. And a decent laptop since everything was on my phone. As i'm walking down the street back to my hotel, with my things, I find myself falling onto hands and knees. The printer box rolled a few feet from me. I hope it isn't damaged, I think slowly sitting back on my knees and just staring at it.

"Oh my goodness," a voice says. "I am so sorry."

I look up to see a man with a ragged hair, black sunglasses, a black t-shirt with a jean jacket over it, and dark skinny jeans reaching down to help me up to my feet. I take his hand and slowly get to my feet. I notice the scruff framing the rest of his face. The sun shines perfectly behind him and I can't help but feel drawn to him.

"I should have watched where I was going and make sure there wasn't a beautiful woman carrying a large object," the man says turning to pick up my printer. "Doesn't look damaged from the outside."

I smile and feel my face burning. I'm sure it's bright red. "It's okay, I should have called an Uber instead of walking three blocks. I'm sorry about your coffee." I gesture to the fallen cup and spilled contents on the sidewalk. "Let me buy a new one."

The man laughs and waves a free hand. "No need to waste your money on my accident."

"What can I do?" I ask after I made sure my laptop box was fine.

"How about you let me help you with this so another person doesn't run into you?"

Taking a deep breath, I accept the strangers offer.  We walk the last block talking about the city. When we get to the hotel, this man offers to carry the printer all the way up to the room. Didn't even question if I was living there.

"Thank you for doing this," I tell him as he sets the box on the small table.

"Anything," he smiles. "And when you are ready to search for apartments I know of a few good ones."

I give a small smile. I guess it's obvious that I was living in the hotel. "Thanks," I watch as he walks himself to the door. "I did never get your name." I call after him.

"Misha," he smiles. "Collins."

***

A month goes by and I am no longer looking like a crazy person after submitting all my pictures to my lawyer. Still Diego refuses to sign the papers unless he can meet with me alone. Of course I say "fuck no."

"If you want to be rid of him forever, then you have to compromise," my lawyer tells me.So I makes plans for the inevitable. But I have my officer buddy tagging along with me to the meeting.

I stare at the divorce papers and I am praying Diego will sign them at our meeting. But I doubt it. Ever since I left him, I started to see the red flags. Even friends that I still have and that haven't been manipulated by Diego, have told me they saw the way he treated me and spoke to me.

I need fresh air.

I get out of the hotel and walk to the the nearest park. It has a lake right in the middle of it. I rest my arms on the railing and then drop my head on my arms. This is more stressful than when I planned a wedding with Diego. I'm closing a door on almost seven years of marriage.

Diego was never like this. Even when we dated for five years. He was always so sweet, so kind, understanding, etc. He would buy me flowers for no reason. My apartment would be covered in them and I would tell him that I would donate some to nursing homes just to make room. I don't know what snapped in Diego to make him the way he was now.

Sighing I look up and stare at the lake. There is a small flock of ducks swimming passed me. Their color feathers shine in the afternoon. It puts a smile on my face. Something that is hard for me to do lately with everything going on.

"I was wondering when that smile would come," a familiar voice makes me turn to my left. There, a few feet away from me, Misha stands. I haven't seen or spoken to him since he left my hotel after giving me his number.

A number I never called or texted.

I had too google him to see if I could find anything on him. Well, I found a crap ton on him. An actor who did a crap ton of good. He is loved by millions.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask. Another smile creeping onto my face.

"Not long," he says walking closer to me. "Just long enough to see that frown turn upside down." He gives a small smile. "Are you still at that hotel?"

I chuckle. "I am, I haven't had the time to look at apartments. I've been preoccupied trying to get my soon to be ex-husband to sign divorce papers."

Misha leans up on the railing along side me and looks at the ducks. "Maybe he's holding out to want to try and work things out with you?"

I laugh. "No, he's abusive and isn't having it with me being in control of myself now. The night I left him, it was really bad. It took a while for the mark he left on me to go away. Then he tried to convince my lawyer that I was having a mental breakdown."

"I'm sorry," Misha pulls back from the railing and pulls out his wallet and shows me a penny. "Here's to him signing the papers so you can officially be free of him." He tosses the penny into the water. "Are you doing anything, tomorrow?" He asks.

"Besides meeting Diego to get him to sign papers? No." I answer twiddling my thumbs.

"How about after you meet with him, I take you to look at apartments?" He leans towards me with a smile. "I can get you a really good deal. I'll even drive, so we don't have to walk."

"Sure."

***

"He's late," Xander says stirring his now cold coffee. Xander is the officer that helped me the night after  I left Diego. Xander was also the one who helped set me up at the hotel I'm staying at. Xander's wife, was a domestic violence victim and he was the officer that pulled his ex husband off her. They didn't get hook up until a year later when they ran into each other. They have been married for almost ten years with two kids.

"Just give it a few minutes," I say contemplating buying another coffee eying the divorce papers on the table.

Five minutes later, Diego waltz into the Starbucks and spots us. A smile spreads across his face when he sees me. Then it instantly fades when he sees Xander. He crosses the little shop in a few short strides. His black shoes squeaking from the rain outside.

"So," he sits down and crosses his arms. "Is this who you left me for? Some wanna a be body builder."

Xander smirks. "No, I'm actually a police officer. Since YN here has a few orders drawn up on you it's best that she have the right protection. Even in a public place." I notice that as Xander leans over he has his badge in his hands.

Diego looks over to me. "Can' you stop being so dramatic about this? So that we can just do this alone"

"Not ever going to happen," I say firmly. "And I'm not dramatic. Not about you hitting me."

The look in Diego's eye's grows dark but he puts on a fake smile. "I would never hurt you," He looks around as a few people over heard what I said. "I can't believe you're still on that."

"Look," Xander leans back and pushes the papers towards Diego. "All YN needs you to do is sign these. This game you're trying to play, just keeps hurting her."

Diego stares at Xander. "I don't think I will." He pushes the papers back and starts to get up. "Until next time."

"You're just going string this along aren't you?" I stood up so fast that Xander's coffee spilled. "I don't want to be married to you anymore. I stopped wanting that when you threw the first book and kicked a hole in the wall. I stopped when you hit me. I just let it go on for so long that I forgot how to not walk on eggshells. You don't own me. I don't love you. So sign the fucking papers."

Diego stares at me. I hadn't realized, but I pretty much yelled. I gather my bag and make my way out. Xander follows me.

"Hey," He hands me the papers. "Do you need me tot drive you back?"

"No, a friend is picking me up," I pull my phone out and text Misha. "He should be meeting me in a few minutes. He's taking me to look at apartments."

***

Another month goes by and I'm moved into my new apartment. All thanks to Misha and his ways of persuasion. I got the first six months half off. It was a nice little one bedroom apartment with a little den. Misha even convinced me to let him buy the furniture sets I had my eye one in a catalog.

"I'm just use to working hard for stuff like this," I say when the last of the movers move the stuff in. "I literally don't know how to thank you. Even just saying 'thank you' doesn't seem to be enough."

Misha laughs. The laugh takes up his entire body. "Just a simple thank you would be enough. Unless you want me to come up with a way to convince you to let me take you out to dinner. As friends of course."

I feel my cheeks start to burn. This dude is smooth. "Okay, dinner, as friends, it is."

Misha smiles big. "Awesome, now lets get this place looking as good as you."

For the next two days, Misha is over helping me settle down in my apartment. Whenever he leaves for food or whatnot, he always comes back with something to add to the place. I didn't even argue once.

The time I spent with Misha, he always hyped me up for stuff, he said things how it was and never ever sugar coated things, he held doors open, and gave me words of encouragement whenever I told him that Diego, again, refused to sign papers over.

Diego not signing papers was frustrating. The more time I spent with or talking to Misha, the more my feelings for him grew. But I was still tied to the asshole of a man who knew what he was doing. He knew of my interactions with Misha, he always brought it up but I would shut it down.

"He's just using you for public gain," Diego would tell me. But I knew Misha pretty well at this point. Things I've read on Twitter about him, Misha would never use someone like that.

Each meeting I had with Diego, I started to see him for who he really was. I don't even know how I fell in love with him. He's even gotten his parents convinced that I'm a lunatic. His mom would text me calling me all sorts of names and telling me that I should be the one paying for Diegos therapy sessions. She would also tell me that she knew I was trouble when he brought me home to meet them. His father wanted me to pay back every dime he had spent on mine and Diegos wedding or he would get a lawyer involved. He would even send disturbing texts saying that he's got people watching me and that I should be be careful.

I won't lie, that scared the shit out of me.

That last one pissed Misha off. I have never seen him go off about someone before. After that text, I went out and put restraining orders on Diegos parents and Misha convinced me to have someone look after me while he was gone for his show. I agreed and my new 'bodyguard' went with me everywhere and made sure I got home safe. Misha even hired a security company to set up an alarm system at my apartment.

If I didn't know better, Misha was or has developed some kind of feelings for me.

***

A year after I made my escape from Diego, I finally have my own car. Paid for all on my own. So no more walking. I park my car in my apartment parking spot and pull out my phone. I see the text from Misha, it's from an hour ago. His flight is delayed and that he would see me at some point tomorrow.

"Bummer," I lay back and watch as George, the bodyguard, pull his car into the parking spot behind me. I unbuckle and get out and watch as George do the same. Before I could get a word out, I see two police cars come up and two officers run passed me.

I slowly turn around and watch them run up to my level. My heart beats fast and I follow them. George, of course follows as well. I skip the steps two at a time and watch as one officer kicks my down. I hear yelling and banging around. Suddenly, George has both his hand on my shoulder and pulling me back as an officer finally come out.

With Diego in handcuffs. His nose is bleeding and a bruise is already forming on his face.

I pull away from George and run into my apartment. There standing in the middle of the room was the other officer talking to Misha. Misha has a busted lip and small gash on the side of his head. I notice that the glass bowl that Misha got me was in pieces and the coffee table was destroyed.

Misha sees me and I rush over to him. "Oh my gosh," I take hold of his face. "Are you okay?"

"Are you the lady who lives here?" the officer asks.

"Yes, and this is my friend," I don't my eyes off Misha.

"And the gentleman we arrested?"

"That's no gentleman," my voice is hard. "That is my abusive soon-to-be ex-husband. He has a restraining order on him."

The officer puts her note pad away. "That will explain a lot. We will contact you if we need anything else." With that, the officer left.

"Everything is all good?" Georges voice makes me turn around.

"Everything is good, George," Misha says. "You can go."

After George leaves I turn back to Misha. "You said you're flight had been delayed. What happened?"

Misha leads us to the couch and we sit down. "I only said that so I can surprise you. I hadn't been here for even an hour before he broke in. He wanted to know where you were and I wouldn't tell him. I guess a neighbor called 911 due to the yelling and stuff. Officer saw my stuff and I said my friend lives here and is letting me stay with her."

I nod my head. "I'm just happy you're okay. I don't know how Diego found me."

"It doesn't matter," Misha takes my hand. "He will answer for it in court.

And Misha was right. A week after everything went down, Diego was charged with breaking and entering, assault, and basically breaking the restraining order by stalking. I sat in during the hearing with Misha. Diego's parents tried to fight the five year sentence but the Judge said that if they said anything else before court ended he would double it without parole.

A few weeks after that, I am getting dinner ready when Misha shows up. He had been showing up a lot lately. I don't mind it at all, Misha makes me feel sane and safe.

"Hey," Misha says setting his coat on the couch. "I see that new coffee table came."

"It did, thanks to you," I say pulling a second plate down. I've learned to make a bit extra whenever Misha came over. "Also, I have some good news." I point to the orange envelope on the table. Misha looks at it and then back at me.

"Did," he starts to say.

"He sign it?" I finish his question. "Yeah, he called saying he will sign it. So I dropped by and had them take the paper to him to sign. I wasn't going to see him. They brought it back all signed. I am mailing in the morning."

"That's amazing, YN," Misha comes up to me and hugs me.

"Well, let's celebrate with dinner."

After dinner, after we clean up, we are sitting on the couch. Talking about whatever came to mind. We are talking about things we are still embarrassed by when Misha takes my hand.

"YN," He says softly. "I want to tell you something."

"Sure," I put my free hand on over his.

"I...I really care about you and I am glad that it was me here and not you when Diego broke in," Mishas voice is soft still. "I honestly don't know what I would do if you were here and he hurt you. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe."

"And I am," I slowly rub his hand with my thumb.

We stare at each other for what feels like forever when Misha pulls his hands from mine and put them on my face. His eyes look search mine for permission but I lean closer to him and brush my lips over his. He closes his eyes and I feel the shiver run through his body.

His gentle grip on my face forces my face back to his where his lips wait. They're smooth and there's a lot of passion behind his kiss. My hands run up to his collar as I move closer to him. The kiss deeps and Mishas hands trail down my sides to my hips where he pulls me onto his lap. It makes it easier for my tongue to push pass his lips and into his mouth.

Without breaking the kiss and with a low growl, Misha stands up, both arms supporting me as he walks us to the bedroom. Kicking the door shut.

[kwrittink]

Wrong - ABISM

Pairing: F!Reader x AdoptedBrother!Jungkook

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Warnings: language, a tiny bit of belittling

<FISSURE                                                             EARTHQUAKE>

It had been two- no, three - years since you last saw him. Your brother... If you could even call him that. No visits, no calls, not even a letter. He'd be completely out of your life, wasn't for his inevitable successful life, which caused people to talk about him once in a while, not aware of your past. Why would you even tell people you once were Jeon - after he took back his real name and career as the famous missing heir of the family's huge company - JungKook's relative when by that point you were nothing more than a complete stranger?

"Y/N, is the sketch finished already? Boss Min has been waiting for it since you arrived," Mou, secretary of said boss - your boss, precisely - asked, walking up to you and snatching your attention back to reality, the screen of the tablet showcasing an ad of some beauty product under Jeon's name. That's why your mind was wandering off. 

"I have the final version already, I'm just waiting for TaeH-"

"I'm here, I'm here!" Kim TaeHyung, TI trainee and probably the best boy you've ever met in your entire life came rushing in, almost knocking stressed Mou out of his way, the art printed into a small poster. "Our printers were all malfunctioning, so I had to go to the copy place- Hope I'm not too late," he breathed out finally, strands of hair glued to his forehead as he tried to catch his breath. You chuckled at him, grabbing the page with one hand and patting the top of his slightly bowed head as you stood up. 

"Don't worry, you were just doing me a favor, Tae. I'll pay you a coffee later, 'kay?" You reassured the newbie, then made your way towards your boss' office, happy that the whole printout was exactly the way you imagined it would be. Those sleepless nights wouldn't be wasted, it seemed. 

"You know, sometimes it's a little painful to watch him," Mou started, by your side. You had barely noticed she was walking with you and snapped your head towards her startled, what she might have read as a confused look. "The new intern. TaeHyung, I mean." 

"What about him?" You asked, now truthfully confused. Mou scoffed, rolling her eyes. 

"I'm sure you're not that blind, Y/N... The boy obviously has a crush on you." She whispered, giggling as your eyes widened in surprise. 

"Wait TaeHyung? No, he's just really nice. And I'm his mentor, he just wants to please." You waved it off, shaking your head in dismissal. There was no way that a guy like Kim TaeHyung was interested in you. He was really nice to you, but obviously, he was still a youngster, if the gossip was any indication. 

Mou snickered, pushing the black glass door that separated the firm's director Min YoonGi from the rest of the world. "Whatever you say then. But keep that in mind when you have your coffee with him today." She advised, and it was your turn to roll your eyes at her before she announced your arrival. 

Min YoonGi was someone really easy to deal with, once you did your job. The meeting was short, he had really liked your work and even had asked you to help in the presentation the company would have to the hirer - which meant he wanted you to talk about it. It was good to know your job was recognized, but you've been working hard for a while and was about to ask for a break before you collapsed. Sigh. Maybe after the deal was made. 

"Hey, you don't seem so well," a voice came from your right, a small box of doughnut holes from that famous bakery on the building's street appearing into your sight. A smile was immediately plastered on your lips when you turned your face and met the dimpled cheeks of Kim NamJoon - not blood related to earlier mentioned Kim Taehyung -, thick glasses hiding his eye smile. 

"You're water for the thirsty men sir," you sighed, picking one treat from the box and practically moaning at the simple yet tasteful ball of happiness. "Also, I can't believe you went to Jin's without me!"

"If you had answered my texts you'd know I was going," he quipped back, shrugging teasingly. You squinted at him, grabbing your phone and seeing that, for it was on silent the whole weekend you had let slip NamJoon's invite for this morning. Tsking, you put it away, snatching the box from his hands.

"Not an excuse mister, you have full access to my house," you countered, and he had the nerve to look coy, looking away in defeat. But in that motion you were able to see the badly hidden hickey painted on the side of his neck, giving you an idea why he didn't invade your apartment that morning. You'd tease him for that later, after figuring out who he had a date with.

"Anyway, be glad there's still some left, I ate most of it on my way here, I was starving,"

"I know you since we were children, you owe me this." Yes. Kim NamJoon, head of TI and the clumsiest guy to walk on earth was your childhood best friend and the only one in your current circle that knew about your past. Even more, JungKook used to admire NamJoon from a young age, and though you two were glued at the hip since even before your brother joined the family, JungKook warmed up pretty well to him. But when JungKook left, he had cut all ties with everyone from his past, embracing the new life presented to him, and leaving an equally devastated NamJoon missing a younger brother. That you couldn't forgive him for. 

You got back to your desk, followed by NamJoon that was still after the doughnut holes even after having half a portion. He was stressed with the end of the month, where deadlines piled up and everyone was at each other's throats to get stuff done. You couldn't do much to ease his burden, too piled with your own work to try and help him with his. Besides, you were shit at programming. 

"Oh I knew I smelled something familiar- Wait, you went to that patisserie down the street?" A cheerful face peeked from the other cubicle and revealed a handsome man eyeing your food. You quirked an eyebrow at Jung Hoseok, one of your other co-workers and part of said circle of friends. Not that you had that many people you truly enjoy talking to but you liked to live by the company's motto: quality is better than quantity. And that was also why the number of employees was so much less than others in the same area because Min YoonGi liked to hire only the best ones - and because he didn't want to waste time firing people later, you were aware. 

For example, Jung Hoseok was an amazing designer, perfectionist and hard-working, even if he looked aloof and happy-go-lucky most of the time. But there was a reason for that, and because he expected from himself only the best, Hoseok - or Hobi, how he was called endearingly - also expected near perfection from his colleagues. 

Unconsciously he had put himself in charge of keeping everyone in the line. And if anyone thought he wouldn't impose respect with his light demeanor, better change their mind quickly. The man was sharp and ruthless when disappointed, flipping his entire mood in a matter of seconds. It wasn't a point of him being bipolar or anything, he was just the type of parental figure that you wanted to only be on his good side. 

"Not me, NamJoon fetched those before arriving at work. Want one?" Extending the bag at him, you saw how Hobi's eyes twinkled as he fetched a couple of sweets from the bag and chuckled to yourself, thinking he was cute, even if a couple of years older than you. 

"Thanks, man I really needed this- Wow that's a hickey, if I've ever seen one," Hoseok was quick to notice as he turned to NamJoon, voice getting louder as he couldn't get a hold of his surprise. Your best friend's eyes widened greatly, apparently not aware that either the bruise was showing or that it was there at all while pulling his collar up. "Sorry dude, I couldn't help it, just... Sorry." Hoseok winced again, retreating to his desk while NamJoon glanced around in a panic to access who had heard the announcement. Apparently no one, but the crew had a sharp ear, you were aware. You just hoped Mou - who had a massive crush on him since he joined but never had the courage to tell him - hadn't heard it too.

Sighing, you got up your chair, grabbing NamJoon's hand and your purse in the other, meeting his lost puppy eyes. "C'mon, I'll fix this up. But you owe me an explanation, mister." You demanded while dragging him to the unisex room. 

Your only regret was leaving the doughnut holes on top of your table, easy prey for all the wolves in the section. 

The meeting was first thing in the morning, so you arrived an hour earlier to avoid any accidents and had a spare outfit in your bag if anything - NamJoon and his clumsy ass - were to happened to the cute but professional outdo you had put together so carefully. Mou was the first to greet you in the morning, her smile not quite reaching her eyes - maybe she had heard Hoseok's outburst the day before after all - as she handed you a cup with coffee and the keys to the meeting room.  

You sighed. It was a tiring job the one you had, but it was at the same time fulfilling and well-paid. Min Yoongi was strict as he did expect everyone to work hard, but he was extremely fair when it came to paychecks. Every single extra thing the employees did was taken into account and correctly inserted into your account - including that one presentation you were to do for him. 

"You're early today huh?" As if by summoning, a sleepy toned voice echoed through the room while you arranged your things - jolt of surprise barely concealed, and you could hear his quiet snicker when he noticed - and Min YoonGi entered the room. "Wouldn't expect any less of you." 

You turned to him with a small smile, acknowledging his compliment, and waiting for what he had to say. YoonGi wouldn't show up before the meeting for no reason at all, you were aware. "So, I'm sure you read about our employers and are well-prepared for this but," He started, and suddenly your blood started to run cold. But? That's never good. He's going to make my life difficult, I feel it! 

"The thing is, that company was recently bought by another one - don't look so scared, nothing has changed technically - and now you're going to be meeting the new owners, so just wanted to give you a heads up." The way he spoke was clearly as if he was casually mentioning that he had coffee in the morning and had an easy trip to the job today, but his words still couldn't avoid your internal panicking. Still, you nodded, swallowing the nervous lump in your throat, because you were a good designer, but could handle so much pressure. At least the whole ordeal wouldn't be changed. You breathed out. 

"Okay boss, I'll handle this to the best of my abilities," you assured him, trying to put a brave face to the man that had hired you but was usually treating you like a sister/daughter he kept at arm's length. Even the satisfying glint of his eyes wasn't unnoticed by you, a sign of trust in your words. 

"Good. Now, they have arrived earlier than expected, you think we can start or should make them stick to the schedule?" At that point Min YoonGi was definitely taunting you, corner of his mouth twitching slightly with undisclosed humor. You rolled your eyes. 

"Send them in, I'm ready." Was what you answered, but minutes later you would regret that sentence immensely. Maybe you should have trusted your gut for once, as it told you that something was not right the moment your boss stepped outside the meeting room to get the new employers. 

Because your smile faltered upon seeing that the man following your boss back inside was no less than - and that for some reason wasn't unexpected - Jeon JungKook.

--

So this is the layout we had and the whole process our team worked on with the previous employer - Mr. Park right here can confirm," you smiled warmly at the man who was accompanying the new owner for the meeting, glad of his reassuring and soothing presence. "But we are completely open to discussion and suggestions if the idea isn't to Mr. Jeon's interest." You tried to keep smiling as you glanced at the man who once had been part of your family now standing at the other side of the table with a completely unreadable expression while glaring at you. 

"Well, I think we don't think that much different right?" Park Jimin, later owner - now co-owner of the 'ARMY' clothing line - nudged JungKook's arm to snap him back from staring at you so blatantly. YoonGi cleared his throat softly by the end of the table. 

"Yes, we'll discuss some more of this project in the future, but for now it's fine," he said, and you had to restrain from quirking at eyebrow at him, though you could feel droplets of sweat trickling down your neck. Fine? "Next time though, I'd like to hold a meeting on my grounds, if that's okay with you?" And then he fucking turned to your boss, as if you weren't the one busting your ass in the last half hour explaining a project almost set to happen all over again. 

"I think you should ask Miss Y/L/N, she's the one responsible for this," JiMin piped up again, and you were so glad he did, but not as how that forced the arrogant face of that other man to look back at you as if he was too tired to repeat his question.

"Won't be a problem, sir. We'll-"

"We? Weren't you the head of this project alone?" A frown creased deep between JungKook's eyebrows, as he looked down to his phone - probably checking his schedule -, already up and ready to leave. JiMin got up as well, seems to be confused by his partner's behavior, and you bit the side of your cheek in anger. 

"Of course Miss Y/L/N is the prime creator of this whole entrepreneur," this time it was Min YoonGi's time to sprout into the conversation, and you were thankful he did before you said something insolent. "But to avoid being persuaded for any side whatsoever, she will be taking one from the team with her to the meeting - having in mind that Mr. JiMin will also be attending to keep it balanced." 

For some reason, it looked like Jeon was taken by surprise, for his eyes widened for a moment before glancing at your boss. He wouldn't think we'd meet completely alone now, would he? 

"Right, exactly. Mr. Park and I will be the only ones present, so it's only fair. I shall then talk to your secretary? I have a few days available." 

"N-no JungKook, I think this you'll have to discuss with Miss Y/N, she's the one that's going to meet us there..." And just like that JungKook seemed to have lost his pose of nonchalant, seeming exasperated to leave the room but needing to face you one more time before doing so. 

"Next Tuesday at 8 am at the north building?" What was he trying to do, set a romantic date or a professional one? Because either the case, he was failing miserably. You grabbed your mobile from the table, expression still stern and serene. 

"I'll put it on the schedule. It's okay with you if I take Kim TaeHyung with me, boss?" You slightly turned to the man that looked as amused as someone would be while watching a drama unfold. He was only missing a snack. 

"Sure, though he's a trainee..." The little squint your boss gave you was enough to tell you he was onto something about this whole thing - and if you could bet, you'd say he was thinking of something along the lines of ex-lovers or some other cheesy crap he secretly loved so much. 

Thought it was much, much more complicated than that.

"It's good for him to learn on the job, plus his skills will help me, I'm sure." You explained, receiving a shrug in response from your boss. That was that then. 

"We're all set then, I'm glad!" Park JiMin chirped, extending his hand at you. "It was really nice seeing you again Miss. Y/N, keep a great job!" He complimented after you shook his hand back with a small bow and a smile. Jeon's hand also appeared in front of you, for grasping. 

"Till we meet again, Miss. Y/L/N." He said as you did the same to him, after a beat of hesitancy. It was somehow hurtful the way he said your family name in such an easy, detached way. As if he never was under it in the past, for so many years. 

And it was in that way you realized the abysm between the two of you, the gap that separated your worlds definitely and clearly. He was no one to you, and you were no one to him. 

________________________ masterlist

[purplesurveys]

1063

survey by pinkchocolate

Have you done any of the same things as me this year? (2020 edition)

Planned a shopping spree with a friend?

Visited a shopping centre/mall? Malls are extremely commonplace here and honestly they already serve as the main tourist attractions if you find yourself in Manila, which is why Manila has never been a popular tourist destination itself (foreign tourists usually head to neighboring provinces, which is smart on their end). I’ve been to malls at least 20-30 times this year, but that’s only because of the pandemic. I probably go close to 50-70 times in a normal year.

Had lunch with a friend? Yeah I caught lunch with Angela a couple times at the start of the year. I had a one-photo-a-day gimmick on Instagram, and I’m pretty sure I have a photo of her in there during one of our lunch dates.

Ordered pizza at a restaurant? Again, at the start of the year. Gab and I loved Italian restaurants so we definitely ordered pizza several times.

Been in a department store? I needed to briefly enter one a couple of weeks ago to look for gift wrappers.

Bought pretty new lingerie?

Had coffee with a friend? Yeah Gab and I had study dates at coffee shops every single week. Now, obviously, I just take myself.

Bought DVDs?

Had a cold?

Bought toiletries as a gift for someone else?

Had dinner in a restaurant with your family? Yeah I’m fairly certain we did this at least a couple of times between January and early March. The last time I dined in anywhere was a month ago, but I was only with my parents and my siblings didn’t come along.

Had one of your kitchen appliances break? Our plumbing is a little fucked in general and sometimes we’ll have minor leaks on the floor. My dad’s knives have also gotten a bit dull, so I got him a new knife set for Christmas. But no damage to appliances.

Watched a movie at the cinema?

Struggled for food when the panic buying began? We struggled in that it was a bitch to enter the groceries at first. My dad did the grocieries for us during that time and that was back when they strictly enforced the number of people allowed in the supermarket at one time; and no matter how early he queued, there was always already a line that got there before him. He’d wait around three hours and once he was finally let in, a bunch of alleys or sections in the grocery would already be empty or at least close to becoming empty. We never went hungry or had to skip meals or anything like that, but I do remember having to make do with lesser-known brands we never used before because sometimes those would be the only options left at the grocery.

Wanted to hug a friend, but didn't because you had to social distance? I hugged Angela when I saw her a couple of days ago, and I also hugged Gab when we were still together. 

Felt afraid of Covid? My fears over it have tamed over the year, to be honest; but I’m still wary, of course. I hate it when people stand near me and I follow the safety protocols everywhere I go.

Felt afraid to leave the house? Only during the peak of the virus, from March to around May or June. Nowadays I kinda have to go out every now and then for the sake of my sanity.

Deliberately avoided watching the news because it made you feel upset? I mean I took up journ lol so I always watch the news, no matter how upsetting it can get. The one and only time I remember asking my sister to switch the channel was when there was a report on animal abuse.

Had to cancel plans for your birthday? I didn’t have plans for it in the first place, or at least I didn’t have the chance to make them yet, so I’m glad there was nothing to cancel.

Spent your birthday at home? This was the only choice I had. My birthday fell on the most serious and strictest phase of the quarantine, and this was back when nothing was open yet.

Collected a parcel from your doorstep? Online shopping is a norm for me now, lol. I used to not trust it, but now I probably buy at least one item a week.

Eaten an entire box of chocolates in one day? I don’t even like chocolate that much. That sounds so uncomfortably sweet.

Drank fruit flavoured cider?

Eaten birthday cake? Sure, we had cake for my mom’s, my aunt’s, and my cousin’s/godson’s birthdays.

Had a grandparent move into long-term care? My remaining grandparents are all fortunately still very healthy.

Kept a journal of your thoughts and feelings during lockdown? This is technically it, whether’s there’s a lockdown or not. I tried starting a journal after my breakup, but I couldn’t keep it up because my wrist strains easily from handwriting now, hahaha. I find that doing surveys suffice.

Had distressing dreams/nightmares related to the pandemic? No, but about other pressing events in my life.

Felt concerned about your financial situation? Not mine but my family’s.

Returned to a social platform that you took a break from? I left Facebook for a few months after the breakup. I’m back on it again because I had missed the memes, but I also want to permanently delete that account for good, open a new one, and just add the people I want to keep having in my circle. Like I love Gabie’s family to death but I don’t see the point in being Facebook friends with them still, and it actually feels kinda awkward now still seeing them on my list. Idk. We’ll see. I might keep my account or start a new one altogether.

Missed a past hobby or interest? I mean I missed going to malls and bars and going out with my friends, if that counts as an interest. I had to do much less of that this year.

Started a new hobby? I started doing embroidery about a month ago, and a few days ago I started working out. My body is as sore as all fuck, but at least it makes me feel good about myself. For the new year, I also plan on starting a skincare routine after 22 years of not doing anything with my face lol and maybeeee start experimenting with coffee and buy different kinds of beans just because?? Idk, I have a lot of cute hobbies planned out for next year haha I’m excited to see how it goes.

Joined some new Facebook groups? Both for work and personal purposes, yep.

Made some new friends online? I definitely like that I’ve become closer and more familiar with the survey community here. I feel like I barely interacted with anyone pre-Covid, when real life was still a bit more hectic and when it was more difficult to find time to relax and sit down and read everyone��s answers. I also became friends with Justine, Angel, and Bianca when I started as an intern at my workplace.

Felt annoyed because you saw someone without a mask? Everyone wears a mask in public, and there are always people assigned to monitor and lightly scold those stubborn enough to take their masks off. So this isn’t the case, but what I do find annoying is when people stand or walk too close to you. Just last week at the grocery this lady was close enough to be breathing down my neck when I was lining up at the cashier; being non-confrontational for the most part, it felt like being in the deepest pit of hell.

Felt like people were staring at you when you wore a mask? I feel like people are more likely to stare at people who DON’T have a mask. 

Bought new stationery? My sister has tons of stationery in her room for whatever reason; when I need one to write short notes or letters, I just ask for some from her. 

Video-called your extended family and friends? For sure. We did this a lot especially during the earlier parts of the year.

Written a letter to someone you missed?

Disagreed with the behaviour of a friend?

Felt surprised when someone wanted to be your friend? No one directly said it to me; but as an intern on my first day of the job, it was a really pleasant surprise to find that the co-interns I was going to be with weren’t boring, unemotional cogs who just aimed to do work. They were HILARIOUS from the get-go, was confused as fuck about work, and I could see they just wanted to make our tiny intern family a close-knit and happy group, to which I gladly agreed and went along with.

Bought a new pair of shoes? I got new shoes meant for my first job interview, but I haven’t gotten any brand new sneakers in a while :(

Replaced some toiletries that you ran out of during lockdown? I guess? Toiletries are necessities, so.

Bought some new books? I read new ones, but I didn’t buy them. Some I saw copies of on the internet; one was given as a gift to me.

Bought new cosmetics? I don’t use those.

Received a belated birthday present?

Received a present from a friend overseas?

Discovered a new author that you liked?

Felt like you were drifting away from people you were once close to? *A person. Yeah, well.

Found out that someone you knew had contracted Covid?  She’s a mutual friend from my high school days. We aren’t close but we’ve kept in touch by still following each other on social media. She wrote about her experience with Covid on a blog entry.

Realised you had formed a deep connection with someone? I got a lot closer with Andi both because we had to work together for our thesis and because they were there for me, unconditionally and untiringly, when I was coping with my breakup and was in rough shape.

Worried about the financial situation of someone close to you? Of my family, like I said, yes. We had to sell the Vitara because the money that pours into the household monthly isn’t enough to keep paying for it. To be fair, that car was a very big impulse buy by my dad, so we didn’t and don’t feel too bad about losing it hahaha. 

Let your guard down to someone? I don’t think so. I was on red alert this year since Gab increasingly broke my trust.

Had an issue with something on social media? Yeah, but I don’t want to get into it. That was such a long time ago and is so irrelevant now.

Felt disconnected from others? I deliberately did so three months ago, so much so that I had acquaintances I barely talked to since graduating talk to Andi and ask where I’ve been.

Changed your internet provider? We’ve had the same one for like 8-9 years now. It works pretty okay for five people who stream videos all day, so we haven’t felt the need to switch.

Felt fortunate/thankful? I mean I’m here, scar-less, and happy with myself on December 31, 2020, right?

Tried some new foods that you enjoyed? Baked sushi is so fucking good.

Re-read a book that you loved? Crazy Is My Superpower by AJ Mendez (aka my favorite girl wrestler, AJ Lee) is always a good read to come back to.

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

FFT: sweet cherry pie, adam page

Notes: 

This was originally a fake fic title ask that I got from @adampage​. I’ve decided to copy/paste it to it’s own post so that I can remove all these from snarkandsarcasmwrites to make it my personal blog. 

Pairing: 

Adam Hangman Page x OFC, Audrey.

Summary: 

Audrey not only has a secret crush on her best friend / co-worker Adam Page, but she’s also a virgin. In this two part series, both her secrets will be revealed. Part 1 of 2.

Warnings: 

none, really.

Adam chuckled almost the second he felt her press against him from behind and Audrey’s hands went over his eyes. The tension he’d been feeling slowly started to disappear, then again it always did whenever he was around her. He turned to face her, smiling.

“There you are, darlin.” Adam found himself doing it again, having to reign himself in so he didn’t push himself on her. If he didn’t reign himself in, he’d constantly be touching her.

… And I wouldn’t be able to stop with just that, either. And then if she doesn’t feel the same, I’ll lose her… his mind chimed in and just the thought of even possibly losing her as a friend or doing something that made her uncomfortable and skittish like she was around pretty much the rest of the males on the roster didn’t sit well with him at all.

“Yeah, I got stuck trying to keep Leva from killing Britt.” Audrey bit her lip, eyes easily getting lost in the baby blue of Adam’s eyes. She must have been staring too hard again, because Adam was chuckling and shaking his head, his hand at her hip. He pulled her closer and her breath caught in her throat at the contact. She had to fight the urge to clench her thighs and that lazy slow burning heat was flowing through her veins all over again.

…If he had any clue what he does to me and just how huge of a deal it truly is… the thought swam lazily through Audrey’s brain, quick to disappear and she was thankful for it. Lately it was getting harder to hide the way she felt about him and that was not a good thing. They had a good and solid friendship. She couldn’t even begin to fathom risking it. Just the thought of losing him in her life altogether was definitely more than enough to keep her from doing any more than she managed on occasion, the lingering touches, the hugs, the way they always seemed to find one another in a crowd and just kind of migrate together.

“How’d that work out for ya?” Adam asked the question playfully, a smile forming at the thought of her, trying to step between the two taller women and stop them from coming to blows a second time this week.

“I gave up. Wanted to come find you before your big match tonight. I… I thought you’d want someone around.”

Adam smiled at her softly, leaning in a little to brush her bangs out of her eyes as he did so. “I appreciate that, darlin.”

… oh god, when he talks like that… Before she could stop herself, Audrey’s imagination was doing it again, that thing where she went overboard, her mind filling in all these little details she longed so desperately for.

Like Adam, pulling her in closer. That large and rough and warm hand resting against her lower back firmly to keep her in place. His lips on her lips. In her mind, he substituted darlin for baby girl or any number of other pet names she longed to have him call her, if he was that kind of man.

Adam eyed her, a brow raised. She seemed to be lost in thought. Whatever she was thinking about had her biting her lip and blushing all over. Not that it wasn’t hot as hell, but it gave him all these thoughts.

Thoughts that lately, he’d been trying to keep control of. But it was getting harder and harder to do that. And he couldn’t stay away from her, either. He’d actually tried a time or two. And failed miserably.

He was drawn to her like a magnet.

Being around her felt good. He felt happier and more comfortable with her than he did anywhere else or with anyone else lately. Nothing else mattered. None of the crap he was dealing with all by himself, none of the frustration he felt almost 80 percent of the time lately.

… maybe frustration of a different kind. A better kind… the thought lingered as he cleared his throat and repeated his question because he’d asked her if she was okay and she’d yet to answer.

Audrey wanted to melt into the hallway floor because once again, she’d done it. She’d stepped closer without realizing it, their bodies almost brushing softly. She was staring up at him and lost in all her thoughts and apparently while she’d been lost in those, Adam had asked her a time or two if she was okay. She gave a soft laugh and nodded -probably a little too quick, god I hope he doesn’t figure out I’m standing here fantasizing about him yet again, answering quickly, “Yeah. I’m fine, I was just… Thinking.”

“Oh you were, huh?”

“Mhm.”

Adam’s music hit and Audrey was about to just let him walk down to the ring, but Adam surprised her by pulling her into a tight hug. His nose buried in the top of her head and he inhaled deeply. “Welp, gonna go do some cowboy shit.”

“You’re gonna do amazing, I know it. Just focus on yourself. Forget about the other three. And be careful out there, please?” Audrey’s hand rested palm down against his bare chest, right over his heart. Adam smiled and swallowed hard, exhaling deeply as he stared down the curtain separating the backstage from the ring and the arena.

Audrey took his face in her hands and repeated herself. “I mean it, Adam. You’re an amazing wrestler. If anyone else can’t see that, just know that you are.”

Before Adam could say anything else -or hug her again like he desperately craved, Audrey was hurrying away down the hall. He stood there watching her catch up to Leva until Kenny cleared his throat from the curtain.

Adam stepped past Kenny wordlessly and made his way down to the ring for their title defense match against the Bucks. Everything she said kept playing over and over in his mind for the duration.

He needed to do something.. At least consider trying to clue her in because this was driving him insane.He couldn’t keep it to himself much longer.

– ( A FEW HOURS LATER )

“You and Adam are awfully cozy lately.” Leva smirked to herself when she saw Audrey tense ever so slightly and glance around before meeting her gaze with a deer in headlights look. Audrey took a deep breath and after a few seconds of Leva staring her down intently as if waiting on an answer, Audrey finally managed to pull herself together enough that maybe it would sound legit when she did answer.

“He’s my best friend, duh.” Audrey’s tone was flat and Leva shook her head, sighing. “You’re in love with him… aren’t you?”

Audrey nearly choked on her bottled water as she glanced around almost as if she expected anyone to step out and hear their conversation. And when she opened her mouth, she honestly meant to deny,deny,deny, but instead, she found herself unable to do it any longer.

“Yeah and it’s driving me insane because every single time I think about trying to tell him somehow I just… I can’t. I freak out and it makes things weird. But if I don’t do something soon I’m gonna..” Audrey trailed off because she thought she heard footsteps.

Leva, however, was not in the mood to let Audrey keep this in any longer. And she knew full well that Adam was standing just out of sight, she’d seen him come out of the backstage exit and into the parking garage.

And if Audrey wasn’t going to say anything on her own… Maybe just doing a little gentle probing.. With Adam in earshot.

Maybe that would help these two finally get on the same page in their little ‘love story’.

Something had to give because everyone backstage was starting to take notice and quite a few were saying that the tension and magnetism between the two of them was so thick that it almost took all the air out of the room.

“You’re gonna go crazy… Right?”

Audrey sighed. She hadn’t seen anyone come past, so she assumed it was safe. She was just venting to her best friend, nothing would ever come of it. Venting to Leva was far better than keeping it all locked inside.

“Oh god yes. I’m going to lose my fucking mind.”

“Language…” Leva cautioned, Audrey poking her tongue out and taking a deep breath. “I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s like… There’s so much I wanna say to him. Every single time I try I guess I get overwhelmed and panic because if I just outright say that I love him and I want him, oh god… Then that leaves an opening for him to hurt me? I know he wouldn’t, he’d probably let me down gently…” Audrey leaned against the side of Leva’s SUV and sighed, gazing up at the concrete above their heads, lightly beating the back of her head against the vehicle.

“But what if you’re wrong?”

“Leva, that man is worlds above me. Galaxies.”

“No, Audrey, he’s not. He’s just a man. And maybe he feels the same way. People are already assuming you two are a thing.”

“I know and the reason I don’t correct anybody when asked is because I really wish it were true.” Audrey took an even deeper breath and pinched the bridge of her nose as she cringed and shook her head.

From the other side of the SUV, Adam nearly choked on his tongue. His heart started to race and he took as quiet a deep breath as possible. It was taking everything in him not to make himself known, not to just come out and tell her.

… Not like this, if I’m gonna say it, I’m gonna say it when it’s just me n’ her… But knowing what I know, maybe… Adam’s mind started to race, filling with the thoughts and possibilities that he didn’t even realize he had. He focused himself, hoping to hear more of the conversation between Audrey and Leva.

“Why don’t you just tell him?”

“ I’m afraid…” Audrey admitted it reluctantly, adding quickly, “You know why. You can’t tell me that the second he figures out I don’t know what the hell I’m doing in bed or in a relationship he’s not gonna just give up.” as she met her friend’s gaze, a convinced and firm look in her eyes.

Adam nearly choked again when he heard her say that. He took a deep breath, shifting his feet just to try and move a little, to keep himself from bursting out there and revealing himself. He got the distinct impression that what she and Leva were talking about was not something she wanted him to be aware of.

Leva gave a soft laugh because she’d seen Adam out of the corner of her eye. If Audrey really looked up and around, whoo boy, Leva thought to herself, careful to keep from appearing smug. She definitely knew what she was doing right now.

Something that apparently, neither one of them were brave enough to do for themselves. Something that had to be done, in her own mind for the name of true love. Because she was 1000000 percent certain that’s what they had.

They’d been through good, bad and not so ugly but still ugly together as friends.

Audrey sighed and took a deep breath. “I either need to find a better way to control myself around him or I need to keep my distance. Earlier tonight, before his match, God… I wanted to just take his face in my hands and kiss him. He looked unhappy. Tense.”

“Do you really think Adam Page is the kind of man who’s going to just ditch you because you happen to be a little… Inexperienced? And why are you putting the cart way before the horse anyway, hm?”

“Because he’s the only man I’d even think about… Giving myself to like that. Since I met him I… I’ve never really clicked with anyone like that? And you know me, Leva, I’ve never really wanted to, either.” Audrey paused and fidgeted with the sleeves of her sweater. “But you are right. I’m putting the cart way before the horse but maybe that’s because I can’t stop thinking about him.. Imagining… you know. And it’s not just that, either. This isn’t just a case of strong physical attraction. Adam is… he’s it for me.”

“And now you turning down all the other guys you’ve met since you signed makes sense. You made up your mind a long time ago, huh?”

Audrey smiled softly and nodded. “I did. Only now, I can’t find the words to tell him I love him, much less… all the other stuff and it’s driving me insane. What the hell do I do? I can’t just stop being his friend. I can’t avoid him, I tried, remember? It drove me crazy and he just found me anyway and called me out on it and I barely kept it together enough to come up with a decent excuse. Fuck… I’m so damn awkward.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just picky as hell. But it’s never been a good thing and I think that maybe you need to go with your gut… At least try to hint how you feel? Could you do that?”

“I am. But I swear, it’s like Adam’s oblivious.”

“I don’t think he is. I think he’s just trying not to force himself on you. We both know what he’s going through right now with his other friends.” Leva’s mouth turned to a frown at the mention of the Bucks and Kenny Omega. Audrey nodded in agreement, scowling and shaking her head. “Yeah, those aren’t friends lately, not with the way they’ve been treating him. They don’t take him into any kind of consideration and it hurts my heart to watch him keep going through it.”

From his spot on the other side of the SUV, Adam was standing there, trying to quietly process everything he was hearing, his mind going a million miles an hour as he tried to come up with some way to bring this all to light.

Because if they both felt this way, it needed to come out.

Leva eyed her friend and nodded. “I still say you’re wrong. If you just tell him how you feel, you might be surprised.”

Audrey sighed and gave a soft laugh as she shrugged. “If only I could. I can’t find the words. And showing him, I… I’ve never done anything more than make out with a guy… I wasn’t even really all that affectionate until I met him, Leva. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m thinking… Maybe you could write it down?”

“Leva…” Audrey trailed off, going silent when she saw Adam walking towards them. For a split second, she panicked and thought that he might well have heard it all.

When he flashed her that grin and nodded to the belt then held out his hand for their usual high five, she felt a wave of relief wash over her and she was able to pull herself together enough to high five him back and pull him into a lingering hug that lasted both longer than it should have just to be a friendly one and yet, didn’t last long enough at all.

“I told you!” Audrey beamed up at Adam and Adam bit his lip, taking a deep breath. Now that he was standing face to face with her, with everything he’d overheard replaying in his brain, he was still trying to let the shock of it wear off.

He found himself almost painfully aware of just how close and tight he was holding her right now. The way the hug lingered on both sides of it. Not just his own like he’d previously thought. Then some of the things she’d confessed to Leva chose that exact second to creep back into his stream of conscious and he felt his cheeks heating up.

She wanted everything he did. She felt the same way he felt.

Maybe that’s the thought that finally spurred Adam to action. He nodded to Leva and smiled and Leva smiled back, winking as if she knew fully well that he’d heard every single thing Audrey admitted to and a second later, she cleared her throat. “Hey, Audrey?”

“Yeah, L?”

“I think I’m gonna catch a ride with Peter.” Leva shoved the keys to the SUV into Audrey’s hands and winked at her friend.

“Are you sure?” Audrey gulped, every single word she’d just confessed to her best friend rushing right back to her and setting her on edge. Leva was known for playing cupid and Leva knew she’d be on edge. And yet, Audrey thought to herself, she’s still going to just ditch me knowing I’m never gonna keep myself together right now.

“Positive. I wanted to talk to him about something anyway. It’s time we cleared the air.” Leva eyed Adam and then gave Audrey a teasing grin. “You two have fun. Go on! I’ll text you later, okay?”

Audrey could only nod. Her heart was beating so loud right now that she heard it. Just before she turned her gaze back to Adam, she caught Leva mouthing to her “At least try to tell him.. Or show him.”

And then Leva vanished, catching up to Peter and getting into his vehicle, taking off for the hotel 2 hours away in the next town.

Audrey gave a sheepish laugh as she made herself hold eye contact with Adam. Her whole body felt like it was on fire right now and she didn’t need a mirror to tell her that she was probably blushing bright red and that was why.

Adam chuckled quietly. She was fidgeting and blushing and twice now she’d tried to say something, her mouth opening only to close again. It was probably the first time since they’d met that he’d seen her have this much trouble saying something.

“Everything okay, darlin?” he stepped just a little closer because the wind picked up and he saw her shiver a little. Audrey swallowed hard and nodded quickly. “Everything is fine. I’m so happy for you. And proud. You were on fire tonight!” she beamed up at him, trying like hell to push all the thoughts and all the things she wanted to say but didn’t dare say out of her mind for the moment.

“So.. Since Leva left you with the SUV and there’s no way in hell I’m ridin with Kenny…” Adam mentioned it mildly as a loose plan started to form in his mind.

He’d start small… But one way or another, everything was going to come out in the open.

And tonight seemed like a good place to start.

… Flirting more… Being more affectionate. That couldn’t hurt either… Adam thought to himself as he took the key from Audrey and unlocked the SUV, opening her door up for her. Audrey went to get in and for a few seconds, they were pressed right against each other, her staring up at him.

Adam’s hand found her lower back and he bit his lip, staring down at her mouth as intently as her own gaze was fixed on his mouth at the moment. He leaned in close, his free hand raising, raking through her hair to push it out of her eyes as he chuckled. “Are you sure everything’s okay, darlin? Because you know you can tell me anything… Right?”

… Except this, unfortunately, because I’ve been trying… Audrey thought to herself as she took a deep breath and nodded, gave the lame excuse that tonight had just been a weird night for her. Adam didn’t press, but somehow, she got the distinct feeling that he didn’t entirely believe that either and she felt herself starting to panic and tense up, going into overthink everything mode on her end.

She finally got settled into the passenger seat after a few seconds stare down that felt like it lasted for years and she leaned her head back against the headrest of her seat as Adam made his way around and got into the driver seat.

For about twenty minutes of the drive, the air was thick and heavy and they were both sort of lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, Adam couldn’t take it anymore. The growling of his stomach and hearing her stomach growl as well prompted him to clear his throat just as they were getting to an exit on the interstate.

“You wanna stop and get somethin to eat, darlin?”

“I’m starving, actually.” -and eating would take my mind off of everything I wanna say and do right now because you got me all sorts of wound up tonight… Like always… the thought went unsaid, but it had Audrey squirming a little, shifting around in her seat as her stomach fluttered. “I can look for somewhere to stop.”

“Found somewhere.” Adam gave a teasing wink after putting his phone back down in the console.Audrey smiled and nodded, biting her lip and acting again as if she wanted to say something. When their hands brushed because she put her arm on the arm rest between them, Adam took a deep breath and a big chance, grabbing hold of her hand lightly, his fingers twining with her fingers.

Audrey’s breath caught again and before she could stop herself, she was giving his hand a gentle squeeze. She thought that one little gesture would pacify her, but it didn’t and it lead to her, trailing one of her fingertips lazily over the palm of his hand. Adam bit his lip and glanced over at her out of the corner of his eye.

“You’re awful quiet tonight, darlin.”

“Just a lot on my mind, I guess.” Audrey managed to get the words out after a second or two. She made herself look at him, hoping to God that he couldn’t tell she was actually blushing bright red right now by the dim glow of the dashboard lighting and she took a deep breath.

If she thought it was hard to resist telling him exactly how she felt about him before, it was twice as hard now, because every single time she went to say something or start another conversation, she’d remember the conversation she had with Leva and she’d almost blurt it all out to Adam.

Adam cleared his throat. “Same here.”

All he could think about was her… Confessing everything she had to Leva earlier. And what he hoped to do with everything he knew now.

“Are you alright, Adam?”

Her question caught him off guard and he chuckled, smiling as he gave her hand a squeeze. “Actually, yeah.”

… So, when are you going to mention that this kind of feels like a first date scenario, man?… the thought crept it’s way in and Adam cleared his throat, coughing a little. It caused Audrey to eye him in concern and he quickly muttered something about taking a breath and it going down the wrong way. It was a weak and lame excuse, but it was better than just blurting out what he desperately wanted to.

The diner he’d found came into view and he pulled into the parking lot. Neither of them still really hadn’t said much by the time Adam was putting the car into park. The tension between them was thick and Adam found himself wondering if Audrey noticed it.

He got out, going around to her door and opening it. Audrey hopped out of the passenger seat and Adam slipped his arm around her, pulling her a little closer than he usually would. Audrey glanced at the little brick building and up at Adam, biting her lip, looking as if she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“What’s the matter, darlin?”

“I figured you’d found like… a Wendy’s or something.”

Adam furrowed his brow and then chuckled, because for the split second he panicked, he actually did happen to look at her and realize that no, she wasn’t disappointed, but she was very surprised.

The place he’d chosen was one of those proper go in and sit down establishments. Like the kind you’d take your special someone on date night. It was also somewhere she’d mentioned wanting to stop at on their way to the hotel to Leva earlier.

“I mean, if you want, we can go find one. I just wanted to go in and sit. Talk to ya.” Adam stopped in front of the door, gazing down at her. If he hadn’t overheard everything back in the parking garage at the arena, he’d be thinking that she wasn’t comfortable right now.

The thought wasn’t entirely wrong, but it was only because she was confused. It hadn’t clicked quite yet.

“Talk to me? About what?” Audrey’s breath caught and she eyed him. Her heart was racing a little because there was just something… Different about tonight.

Different about the way he acted, different about the stopping for actual food in an actual restaurant as opposed to just going the fast food route. Different about the way he looked at her and the little touches that normally before - at least as far as she was aware, never really lingered quite like they had on his part so far tonight.

… Can’t say the same for me because I can’t keep my hands off him… the thought surfaced and Audrey felt her cheeks heating because with that thought came all the  different ways she longed for Adam to touch her. To grab her and pin her against a wall and kiss her until she felt dizzy and wanted to faint.

“Just talk. About anything.” Adam stepped out of the way for a couple to walk in past them and this put him right against her. Normally, he wouldn’t have dared but tonight with everything he’d overheard her saying out of her own mouth… He felt braver. More free to go for it, really step up and at least try to hint at how he felt too. His hand drifted down, gently squeezing her hip as he stared down at her.

Audrey seemed to relax, he felt it the second her body seemed to unclench itself. He smiled and leaned in a little bit closer, brushing some hair out of her eyes again, daring to rest his hand against her cheek. “If you’re okay with that, darlin…”

“Oh yeah, yeah. I’m totally okay with that.” Audrey’s words tumbled out one right on top of the other when she spoke and she found herself migrating closer to Adam, staring up at him. She went to raise her hand, maybe to touch his cheek but she quickly caught herself and lowered it to her side again, hoping he hadn’t seen her about to do it.

But Adam had definitely seen her do it. The hand on her hip lowered, catching hold of the hand she’d just lowered to her side and he twined his fingers through her own. Audrey could feel her heart start to race a little and she stared up at him for a second or two.

…. no, he couldn’t have heard me back at the arena…

… but you did think that someone came out and nobody ever walked past…

… but if he’d heard me… this wouldn’t be happening… right?…

… what exactly is happening, though?….

… it feels like he’s flirting with me… like I’ve been trying to do with him for a while now, albeit clumsily…

“You wanna go in, darlin?” Adam was holding the door open. Audrey got herself focused and nodded, smiling as she walked into the little diner. Adam stopped behind her in line, pressing against her a little, his hands at her hips. It was enough to make Audrey gulp and suck in a breath. Her eyes fluttered open and shut and she did her level best at not making an ass out of herself, trying to appear calm and chill like always, but… She kept imagining all the places those hands had been in all her wildest dreams.

Adam happened to catch sight of the way her eyes fluttered open and closed at the touch and he smiled to himself, pressing even closer and muttering quietly next to her ear, “You shivered. Everything okay?”

“Mhm.” Audrey managed to squeak the word out quietly and she turned to face him, staring up at him. Everything about tonight felt so much… Different.

Special. Maybe even a little romantic.

“This ain’t where I wanted to take ya on our first date, but it’ll work for now. You were talkin about it earlier with Leva, so I thought maybe I’d surprise ya…” Adam took a huge chance in just letting it slip out so casually like he did. When it registered to Audrey what he’d just said, he chuckled quietly, gazing down at her as they moved forward in the small line waiting to be seated.

…. Did he just… Okay, I must have fallen and hit my head…. This has to be a dream…

Audrey tried to respond but all she could do was open and close her mouth repeatedly as it sank in for her what he was trying to do. She’d actually mentioned this particular diner to Leva earlier.

It hit her then, just how well Adam always seemed to be at remembering these minute details. And it only made her fall even harder. It also made it harder for her not to just pour it all out. The only thing keeping her from that was the fact that she was so afraid that if she did everything might go terribly wrong.

Adam watched her processing what was going on, sort of smiling to himself.

“You definitely did that.” Audrey admitted, giving a soft giggle. Surprise wasn’t exactly the word for it, Audrey found herself thinking, she was actually stunned. In a good way. The shock was starting to wear off a little and she was really starting to wonder just how much of this was Adama being intuitive and charming -and possibly hinting at his own feelings,hopefully; or how much of it was him having overheard her talk with Leva back at the arena.

The hostess led them to a table towards the back and Adam pulled out her chair before taking a seat across the table from her. There was a single rose in the vase between them on the table and Adam glanced around, a jovial grin as he reached out and took the rose, holding it out to her. Audrey took the rose from him and smiled, passing it under her nose.

“Outside… you were saying that this isn’t where you’d have taken me on our first date, Adam…” Audrey paused, taking a deep breath, trying to collect herself. “Does this mean that tonight is a… Nevermind, it’s stupid.” she fell silent, wanting to kick herself for being awkward once again.

Adam chuckled quietly, reaching over the tabletop towards her, lightly cupping her chin and making her look at him and not the tabletop like she was currently. “It’s not stupid. C’mon… Ask whatever it is you were about to ask.”

“I was going to ask if that meant that you think tonight is a date?” Audrey stammered it out after a second or two of just sitting there trying like hell to get it to come out. Adam grinned lazily, shrugging and for a second, Audrey almost retracted her question because she felt skittish.

“Depends.” Adam answered after a second or two, “Do you want it to be a date, darlin? Because this ain’t just up to me. You know that, right?  You do have a say…” and after he went quiet, he waited. Internal panic was just starting to set in when she finally answered.

“I do, actually.” Audrey finally managed to get her brain and her mouth to work at the same time to answer him, reaching for his hand when she saw him look like he was sitting there kind of quietly freaking out. Adam’s fingers laced between her own and Audrey gave him a reassuring smile. “I really do. I mean that.”

Adam grinned and nodded, shifting around in his seat a little, leaning in over the tabletop. “Good. Kinda worried I went overboard… I know I didn’t really ask ya…” he trailed off, shaking his head, laughing about it almost sheepishly.

He’d gotten caught up in the moment if he had to be honest about it.

Audrey gave a quiet laugh, nodding. “For the record, if you had, I would have definitely said yes.”

Adam gazed at her, a smile playing at his lips. “You would’ve, hmm? That’s good to know. Makes me feel better about doin’ this.”

“Good. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t want you to do this, I mean, it’s a really sweet surprise. I was just telling Leva earlier I wanted to stop here on our way back to the hotel.” Audrey trailed her fingertip over the palm of his hand and Adam bit back a quiet groan at the touch, swallowing hard as he smiled at her, relieved that she wasn’t uncomfortable or upset by him taking things into his own hands.

Audrey could feel it all slowly sort of bubbling to the surface. Any second now, she found herself thinking, I’m going to open my mouth and I’m going to wind up telling him everything. “You did, huh?” she smiled at Adam, her eyes darting from his eyes and settling on his lips. A waitress came to their table and after Adam ordered, Audrey scanned the menu, placing her own order, her fingertip ghosting over Adam’s palm when it dawned on her that they were still holding hands, just because it gave her something to focus on other than her overwhelming desire to spill it all to him.

Every.Single.Feeling.

Adam barely restrained a quiet groan at the soft trailing of her fingertips over the surface of his palm. It was kind of this thing she always did, and yet now that he knew what he knew about her feelings, it took on this whole other meaning. It felt totally different.

Better.

He squeezed her hand a little and Audrey looked up at him. The waitress had just left their table to take their order to the back so it was going to be a little while to wait. And normally, Audrey would be able to talk his ears off. But tonight, every single time she thought about opening her mouth, all she wanted to do was tell him everything and she didn’t even know where to begin.

… at least say something… Audrey tried to mentally coax herself to at least initiate conversation.

She sighed quietly and then cleared her throat, preparing to speak up. “Adam?”

Adam had been sort of just sitting there lost in thought when he felt her squeeze his hand. It was weighing on him, knowing what she’d told Leva and knowing that she most likely wasn’t going to bring it up for whatever reason.

“Yeah?” Adam questioned, meeting her gaze.

“ There’s something I… Nevermind, go ahead.” they both said it at the exact same time, giving a quiet laugh after they managed to do it. Adam nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

“Fuck it.” he muttered mostly to himself. He had to do something, say something.

Audrey’s breath caught in her throat and she braced herself. By now she was starting to really wonder if maybe he had overheard her little confession to Leva in the parking garage. “What’s wrong?” she made herself ask the question just to at least buy her a little time to get herself under control.

“Earlier tonight… I walked out into the parking garage to find you after the show… And I…” Adam stopped to take a sip of the drink he’d ordered and then, after searching her eyes and seeing her panicked look, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, he decided to continue.

This had to come out.

He didn’t want to start things off with her by hiding the fact that he’d overheard her earlier tonight, even though it wasn’t really that big of a deal.

He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

“Yeah?” Audrey breathed out the word, her heart really starting to kick into overdrive as she took a long sip of the drink in front of her and tried not to fidget or look away.

“Well, shit.. I.. I overheard what you were talkin’ to Leva about… The way you feel about me. And some other stuff.” Adam took another drink. A quick glance at her revealed that she was probably panicking and he chuckled softly, leaning over the tabletop between them. Audrey sighed and her shoulders dropped slightly, “You… If you don’t feel the..” but the side of Adam’s finger pressed into her lips, stopping the flow of her words midsentence, and he chuckled quietly.

“Let me finish, darlin?”

The soft huskiness in his voice had Audrey biting her lip, managing to nod but that was about it. Adam tilted her chin so that she had to look directly at him and he took a deep breath. “I wish you woulda said somethin’ to me sooner, Audrey. Because it has been torture keepin the fact that I feel the same way you said you felt about me to myself.”

“Wait… huh?” Audrey let out the breath she’d been holding and the words tumbled out as the anxiety started to ease away, replaced with shock at his own admission. “You… feel that way too?”

“It wasn’t obvious, darlin?”

“N-no.. I mean.. I used to catch myself hoping you were flirting and being affectionate but I didn’t know.” Audrey gave a soft laugh.

The waitress made her way over with their food and as soon as it was settled between them, Audrey surprised Adam by standing and moving around the table to the seat right beside him. As she sat, she flashed him this cute little shy grin… and promptly tried to steal about five french fries off of his plate, making him chuckle quietly and lean in a little, press his lips against her forehead. “I see that’s not gonna change.”

“I mean, unless you want it to…” Audrey bit her lip, locking eyes with him when she looked up.

“Not at all, darlin.” Adam grinned at her as he leaned in and muttered quietly, “I think it’s kinda cute, actually. Nothin has to really change, darlin… Unless you want it to?” he swallowed hard, breathing catching in his throat while he waited for her to respond.

Audrey took a deep breath and speared a chunk of beef, popping it into her mouth, trying to decide what to say.

He’d been honest.

It was her turn to be honest now.

And knowing he felt the same way made it a little easier for her to just let it all out.

“I do, actually. I don’t… I don’t wanna be just your best friend, Adam.”

Adam nearly choked on the bite of the burger he’d taken and he gave a bright smile, shocked by what she was saying. Or what he hoped she was saying. “Wait… Are you.. Are you sayin you wanna be my girl? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like right now, Audrey.”

His heart was racing. When she gave a soft laugh and nodded her head yes, leaning against his side just a little, he let out the breath he’d been holding, feeling relieved.

“That’s exactly what I meant.” Audrey muttered quietly, reaching out to take a few more fries from his plate, making him laugh quietly.

“Exactly how much did you hear earlier.” Audrey had to know. Parts of her hoped that he’d heard everything. Parts of her weren’t so sure how she felt about her obvious lack of experience both in relationships overall and in bed were still her little secret.

“Everything.” Adam answered, gazing at her intently, trying to gauge her reaction by the expression on her face. Audrey swallowed hard and took a big sip of the drink in front of her and then sighed. “So you know about… you know.”

Adam nodded, trying to give her a reassuring smile. “I know you’re over there over-thinking right now, Audrey. None of it’s a big deal, darlin.”

“Thank God.” Audrey could still feel her cheeks burning, but she took a deep breath and another bite of the chili she’d ordered. Adam spoke up again. “What? Did you think it was gonna bother me?”

“Well, I figured at the very least, you’d think it was… ya know, weird.”

“Hon, no. There is nothing wrong with waitin.”

Audrey locked eyes with him, nodding as she swallowed hard and thought about her other little confession to Leva… About how Adam was the only man she’d ever really even… Thought about going all the way with.

Knowing he heard that had her curious. She wanted so badly to just ask him about that particular part of it all but she didn’t dare.

Tonight was already one of the best nights of her life, there was no sense or need in making it completely awkward by pushing her wants and desires on him, especially not this soon, even though they’d known each other for months now and they’d gotten extremely close and she knew she could trust him and he’d definitely proven that beyond a doubt just now by not being weirded out by what he’d overheard her telling Leva, in detail.

They finished their meal and after a playful argument over why Adam felt like he should pay and why Audrey felt like they should split the bill, they were on the road again and it was almost midnight by the time they were pulling to a stop at the hotel.

Adam killed the engine and chuckled quietly to himself when he realized that apparently Audrey had fallen asleep during the remainder of the drive, her head resting against his shoulder. He leaned down, brushing his lips against her forehead. “Hey, darlin.. C’mon, wake up. We’re at the hotel.”

“Don’t wanna move. Warm and snuggly.” Audrey yawned out the words, barely opening her eyes as she giggled softly and leaned against Adam even more. Adam chuckled. “I’m gonna come around and get ya out, okay?”

“Mhm.”

Adam got out of the driver’s seat, going around to the passenger side, opening the door and reaching over her to unfasten her seatbelt. Scooping her into his arms, he shut the door with his side and started to walk towards the hotel lobby as she started to wake up, her arms wrapping lazily around his neck.

“I had a nice time tonight. You might not agree, but for me, this was the perfect first date, Adam.” Audrey muttered the words sleepily against his neck as she yawned.

Adam could only smile and respond “I do agree, darlin. You don’t know how happy this is makin me.” softly as he approached  the desk to let them both get checked into their respective rooms….

TO BE CONTINUED.

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 13

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12

HI WOW TIME HAS SERIOUSLY FLOWN BY FOR ME - enjoy your fratty frat boy in all his angsty glory ;) Let me know what you guys think I miss you!!

“Down to watch Hocus Pocus and pass out candy to wee ones? My parents invited me down.”

Renny’s eyes softened, imagining the cuteness of last year when a toddler showed up dressed as a magnet with an attached note card saying “chick.”

“Okay, usually, yes, but the-”

“DG’s,” I groaned.

Midterms were creeping up and I was slowly dying between late night grading biology tests and the stress that’d been building up wondering about what in the fuck Harry had going on in his mind. He was hot, he was cold, and I wasn’t sure if this was all a massive game to him. It’d been relatively silent on the Harry front ever since the day of island paradise. The memory of his penetrating eyes examining me on the pier, and the twinge of electricity between us had inspired my wandering fingers more than once. I wouldn’t admit that to him, hell, I could barely admit that to myself.

I’d been too stubborn to text him, but not too stubborn enough to wear his sweatshirt out this morning. If we were friends, wearing his sweatshirt wouldn’t be weird. Technically he’d just invited me to meet his dad, which I admit, stung a bit, but a part of me couldn’t give up that he wasn’t into me. Could eyes lie so easily?

The ball was technically in my court to tell him whether or not I’d be going, so…

I slurped a scalding sip of tea, cringing at the inevitable. “Welp, if you’re going to ditch me for the DGs then I might as well go to Harry’s.”

She smirked, “I know.” 

I smacked her arm. “Is that why you’re ditching me?!”

“Hey, I’m not ditching you. It’s a thing for new recruits. You were invited, too.”

My ear still ringed with my mom’s shrill scream on the other end of the line when I’d told her - though I’m not sure if she’d be more excited by the fact that her daughter was going to visit the Styles residence or a sorority party.

Renny continued, “And please, as if you’d really go hang out at your parent’s alone when you have an offer to play co-host with Mr. Hunky Mystery Man. We’re sad sometimes, but we’re not that sad. Actually…”

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just… I’m surprised Harry isn’t going to be at the frat’s party.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “He said it was a family tradition.”

Renny’s brows rose at the F word. 

“Okay, but their house is also huge, I doubt it’s going to be an intimate affair.” Truthfully, I was excited to see how their house would be decorated. When I told my mother I probably wouldn’t be coming home to pass out candy, she’d told me not to worry. The neighbors were coming over and they had a couple of cheap wine bottles to drain. I’m sure not telling her I was going to the Styles's house wasn’t going to be that big of a deal.

“Are you kidding me? If Harry hands out a grand to cabana men then I can’t imagine what they’re going to spend on this party. Honestly, I’m kind of jealous.”

“Wait- what? He gave Ben a thousand dollars?”

 “Is Ben the cabana man?”

 “Yes.”

 “Then yes. Or about a grand, I mean I didn’t count it myself but it was a thick. Stack.” Renny’s brows shot up. “You seriously didn’t see that?”

 No wads of cash were in my memories. I was too busy retreating away to the golf cart to notice any grandiose money exchange. Ben’s words when he was saying goodbye to me at the golf cart suddenly flashed in my mind - tell him thank you for me.

 Thank you.

 I hadn’t even assumed the reason why. Probably because out of all things, I wouldn’t have guessed that.

 Renny tapped on her lips, signalling to mine that I painted a nice neutral. “Like the shade. What’s it for?”

 I looked to my watch. “Zayn. And I’m actually going to be late.”

 “Ugh, not fair!! Why can’t I have an artist draw me?”

 “Please, Felix was practically drooling over you last year, and he’s a graphic designer, right? I’m sure he has some sketches of you locked away in a cabinet somewhere.”

 Something that resembled a blush spread on her cheeks.

 “Oh my god. Does he?!”

 “He probably got rid of it by now.”

 I shook my head, scooping up my tea and 50 pound school bag with me. Leave it to Renny to have a collection of men up her sleeve at any given time. Even the beautiful brainy boy.

 “Tell Niall to try drawing,” I called back. The mention of the frat star turned a few heads at the crowded campus coffee shop, and I bit my lip at the scene, skirting across campus to the art studios where people wishing to escape found their haven.

 ---

 “A little to the left,” he murmured. His golden brown eyes peered over the white canvas, tirelessly scrupulous as they focused on each feature, and I felt my heart beat faster at the intensity of attention. “A little up.”

 My head tilted to his command, my exposed neck feeling even more naked as I noticeably swallowed.

 Did he hear that? Did the music need to be played louder?  

 “Beautiful.” He reached for another charcoal pencil in his kit. “Have you been in here before?” His voice gently rose over the Coldplay softly playing from the speaker system.

 “No, not yet,” I admitted. “I was going to take a ceramics class, but I dropped it the first week. Not exactly the sculptor type.”

 “So you’re not the artist, more the painting?”

 My brows furrowed. “What?”

 “I’m taking ceramics,” he said, not bothering to clarify.  

 “Yeah? You like it?”

 He didn’t answer, sweeping his pencil across the page - the aesthetic lulling of the way it scratched along the paper making me realize that yes, he’d definitely heard me gulping earlier.

 The soothing noise didn’t stop, and he didn’t answer for a time that seemed much longer than a minute. I wonder what Harry was doing right now? Was he in class? Practice? Not that I should even be thinking about him.

 The little smug version of me was dancing in my brain, delighting in the fact that somebody else was paying attention to me, that there were other people who found me desirable besides Harry. Sure, this was solely for Zayn’s assignment, and yeah, Harry could easily have any number of women he merely glanced at - but me? I could get by without him just fine, and-

 “Your face comes across so soft on paper. Gentle,” he said, glancing first at his work, then up to me, as if trying to see if the reality mirrored the copy.

 I shifted nervously, but the swivel chair was more sensitive than I’d thought and I almost went flying off the other side. He laughed a bit, before taking his top lip between his fingers.

 “Look, I’ve nearly got this one finished right. I’ve got your basic outline to finish the rest on my own, creative liberties ‘n that, but I’ll need a few more still lifes from you if that’s…”

 “Yeah! That’s fine.”

 “Might be a longshot with the holiday, but do you mind coming in this weekend?”

 Plans of the Styles’ Halloween bash rang as a reminder, and it buzzed throughout my entire body. “I can’t, actually. I’m going to a party, I think.”

 “Really!” he set down the pencil dramatically. “Am I going to see you in a plaid skirt up your bum again, missy?”

 “Ouch, no! But fair. Cringeworthy, but fair.” I slid down the chair, crossing my arms. His eyes didn’t change in their intensity even if he wasn’t holding a pencil. “It’s the Styles’ Halloween bash Saturday. I’m guessing it’s a family-friendly affair so no, I will not be in anything showing any skin, anywhere. I guess they do it every year.”

 Realization sunk in, but it seemed a bit of a show. “Harry, yeah, that’s right. Are you two…?”

 I shook my head, thinking of what Harry must say when (or if) he got asked the same question. There was no doubt in my mind.

 “No.”

 It was some weird “in between” with us, but no was a much easier answer.

 “Right, well, that’ll be interesting then.” He bit his cheek, mulling over something he wasn’t quite sure he should say.

 “What?”

 He opened his mouth, closed it again. “Nothing, it’s just… I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a part of that family. It’s got a lot of history.”

 “Yeah? Like what?”

 “Let’s just say there aren’t that many British boys that get adopted by Americans.”

 I tilted my head back, put off at the slight arrogance in his tone. There was a protective side of me that wanted to rear its head and bristle whenever somebody talked down to Harry, and I wasn’t sure how to put it away.

 “I’m not sure what you mean.”

 “You can look up the story, but-”

 A knock at the door, and a petite black-bobbed Asian girl peered her head in.

 “Hi, I have the room at 5:30.”

 I glanced to the clock on the wall, just a little past.

 “We’re finishing up,” he said. She nodded, not budging. A little territorial over the studio space. Which, I completely get. Once midterm season hits, the library starts to resemble a refugee posting with people camped outside cubicles and “quiet rooms,” hoping for the prior group to leave a little earlier if they didn’t have reservations of their own.

 “Yeah, we’re done.”  I picked up my bag, and put my beanie over my head.

 “Well, I’ll be in touch then. Sometime next week?” He followed me to the door, and placed a hand to my lower back. I stopped, trying to discern if there was something else behind his eyes. Maybe this hadn’t just been for a project.

 But his hand was removed just as quickly, and with a little “See ya,” he closed the door behind me.

 -----------

 Lines of vintage cars parked outside the Styles’s home wasn’t what I’d been expecting when Harry had shot a text that it was a masquerade gala. Maybe it should’ve, but it wasn’t. I squinted my eyes at a woman in a neon vest waving around her flashlight to the approaching cars and signalling them to available spots along the street.

 How was I meant to find him in this madness?

 “Here is fine,” I told the Lyft driver. I’d bit the bullet (or rather, my wallet) to get a ride. I thought I’d bypass the embarrassing “car dying” scenario again and just play it safe. Not that I was expecting to spend the night again… the toothbrush I’d stuffed in my purse screamed otherwise, and seemed to burn a hole into my thigh.

 But still, totally not expecting to spend the night.

 Totally …. not ….

 The sound of the Uber leaving made me realize I was doing this. Again. Willingly walking into the lion’s den simultaneously with at least ten other well-dressed individuals.

 Expect me tonight, I’d sent. It was a little bold. I had to refrain from sending any emojis, but I’d done it. Played it cool.

 Wear a mask, he’d replied. And I felt my stomach drop a little bit. He hadn’t said-

 Cool! Gee, thanks for letting me know! Wow that’s so nice to hear! You made my day!

 No.

 Just a simple three word request. Actually, more like demand. I bristled the same moment my phone buzzed.

 Please.

 I sighed. I guess it was four words.

 Of all the themes to pick though… I rolled my eyes at “masquerade.” Renny had done the opposite, and flew to her dresser, opening a drawer full of toys and masks and - oh my gosh was that a leash? She handed me one, black lace over the eyes that could lift up and over the cat headpiece. I didn’t ask any questions for why she had this so readily available, because guessing from the other contents in the drawer, I already knew the answer.

 “You look-” Renny kissed her fingertips- “Bellissima.”

 Older, sophisticated silver foxes arm-in-arm with their wives took the time to glance at the young woman approaching the estate.

 I blamed it on the deep red dress Renny stole from the theater department (or borrowed as she insisted). It fanned out with dramatic flair like an 18th century production of Shakespeare would - or how our school’s production of Much Ado About Nothing would (which was now short one costume).

 The doors opened to the tinkling of a piano.

 Amidst cocktail waiters weaving between the masked strangers, someone was actually playing it. He had brown curly hair and I practically raced to his side to avoid standing in the foyer alone any longer.

 “I didn’t know you could play.”  

 The man quirked his face, his hands not stopping.

 Even with the mask I could tell it wasn’t Harry.

 “Oh, sorry,” I said, stumbling back.

 Hands gripped my shoulders, as lips went to my ear-

 “Not well.”

 Twisting in his grasp, the familiar curve of his smirk appeared. His green eyes were highlighted by golden flakes etched into a black mask, and my breath quite literally caught in my throat. Somehow, each time, I forgot the magnetism they held. And somehow, each time, I forgot that I was absolute putty in his hands.

 “I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

 Something flashed in his eyes and I knew it didn’t come out right. “The house looks… amazing.”

 I was floundering, FLOUNDERING.

 His nose crinkled the same time he placed a hand to the small of my back. “Too many cobwebs.”

 And without a word, he started leading me through the crowded rooms. Cobwebs over the banister and scary paintings of haunted people replaced the usual art in their home - except for the centered family portrait, intimidatingly framed in gold. The cobwebs were a fitting touch. I wondered how many secrets these walls held, how many years things have been kept in the dark, or swept under the rug.

 Every family had them, but something told me this place had enough storage in all its rooms to hold more than I could imagine.  

 We passed a room set-up with aisles of empty chairs and a projector screen that read “Jane Foundation.” Pamphlets and envelopes were lain on each of the chairs, but we walked too quickly for me to get a closer read.

 “What’s that for?”

 “Later. You don’t know?”

 I shook my head. He slowed to a halt in the hallway.

 “My parents put on a fundraiser every year for the children’s hospital. It’s how we end the evening.”

 My mouth opened and again- floundering. He scratched behind his ear.

 “Yeah, I thought.. I don’t know, I thought everyone knew. But I shouldn’t assume I guess.”

 I just shrugged my shoulders, accepting that his family had the capacity to pull something like this off. That the were pulling this off. That I was even here. Clearly living ten minutes away was certifiably living under a rock.

 He paused, a slight quirk in his lips. With the distraction of the music and the people, I hadn’t had the chance to really look at him. Or him, at me. If anyone ever asked, I’d call him shameless, but I wouldn’t even call it that as he drank me in. It didn’t seem as intentional as that. It was instinctive.

 I drank him in as well, and even if it was just a brief moment facing each other in the hallway with masked strangers streaming through, it felt like it was just him and I. How long had we been like this? Broad shoulders in a nice suit, a tall frame that could cover and protect, brown curls that looked so soft to touch, and eyes that spoke of scary pasts and a soft heart that locked me still in place. He was walking poetry and as much as it made me sick, I didn’t want to stop. I wanted him closer, to lean in closer...

 “Come on,” he murmured, but this time he was in front of me.

 I followed, straight to the dining room.

 “Oh, you are trying to get me to not fit into this dress,” I said. It was full of catered food from the nicest restaurants in Coast Hills. Last time I’d been in this room, it hadn’t been the most comfortable encounter. Now that the corset was digging into my ribs and I was a little short of breath, I predicted I was in for Awkward Dinner Part II.

 “You aren’t hungry?” He faltered, turning to face me.

 I gave a coy smile. “Well I didn’t say that…”

 “Hey! So good to see you.”

 Gemma burst through a small cluster of people, Charlie right behind her. His navy suit matched her slip dress, tapering off at the ends like the foam from a wave.

 She embraced me, Charlie soon after. But it was the same side-hug squeeze that made me remember him. Harry noticed my grimace. Charlie noticed Harry noticing me.

 “All good?” Charlie pulled back.

 “My brother did that all the time,” I said. Harry handed me a glass full of champagne, and I took it, happy to have something else occupy my mouth. I hadn’t expected to say that at all.

 “I didn’t know you had a brother,” Harry said.  

 “You don’t know a lot of things.”

 Gemma perked up. “That’s right, put him in his place.”

 “He’s not around much so, I don’t think to talk about him much.” I left it at that, a slight offering to make Harry feel less offended. His expression was impossible to read, and I wasn’t sure if my words had actually helped or hurt.

 “I have a sister like that. Moved to Lisbon with her boyfriend. We see her on holidays though.” Charlie jumped with a chill. “Jiminy- it’s cold in here, isn’t it?”

 “Have more wine babes, it’ll cheer you up,” Gemma said. And just like me, a champagne flute was suddenly in his hands.

 “Well we were just headed to get some food,” Harry mentioned, eyes slightly widening when they locked with mine - a silent plea to take his cue.

 “Wait! Let me take a picture really quickly.”

 “Gemma,” he sighed.

 “Just a little one! Just a quick...second...” She dug in her purse, struggling to juggle the wine and the mini plate of couscous and falafel.

 I took a step to the side as soon as she pulled the camera out.

 “Hello? Where do you think you’re going? Get back in there.”

 Harry raised his brows to me, both in annoyance and apology. I stood next to him, and he placed an arm around me. It was just for a moment, but I still felt him. Always.

 Gemma smiled at her phone. “Aww, this is perfect. I’ll send it to mom, too. She’ll like it.” She said the last bit cautiously.  

 Harry’s face turned unreadable, his eyes complete stone.

 “One for me now,” she said, reaching down for something else.

 “I swear, she can hide an elephant in that bag and the only reason someone would know is because it’d trumpet during the previews.”

 She pulled out a polaroid camera. Somehow, in the past five seconds, he’d gone from mildly annoyed and embarrassed to deadpanned over it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually growled.

 She held up the camera so I smiled, but as the flash went off and I looked beside me - he was gone.

 “Oh! Harry,” she scolded, but he’d already walked too far away. I saw him weave his way towards the windows of the house and look out.

 “You shouldn’t have mentioned her.” Charlie kicked his shoe. He saw Harry too, looking vigilantly out the window. A second longer and he turned on his heel. He stood taller as he made his way back.

 “Well, at least it’ll be a good picture of you. I’m creating a little collage of the evening.” Gemma put the camera away in her big bag. She reminded me of a mom on prom night and suddenly I felt like I should send that photo to someone, too.

 “That’s so cool! I’m sure it’s going to look so… cute.” Through the crowd, Harry motioned to the food. Clearly, he wasn’t in the mood to say brief goodbyes to his sister.

 “We won’t keep you. Get the pasta pops though. To die for,” Gemma said. “Charlie and I were going to take a stroll by the pool if you want to join us after.”

 “Yes! Oh, and would you mind sending me the photo, too? My mom wants proof I’m alive tonight.”

 “God, of course. Here.” She gave the champagne flute to Charlie, typed in my number, and sent it off.

 “We’ll see you later,” Charlie said.

 “The pasta poppers!” she exclaimed, flute in the air as they weasled their way out to the patio.

 Before I could wonder where Harry was, he met me by the Sprinkles cupcakes stand.

 “Going for dessert first?”

 “Looking for the moon?” I picked one of the mini cupcakes and plopped it in my mouth to spite him. He bit the inside of his cheek and looked away for a split second before looking back. His smile grew.

 “Damn it.”

 My heart picked up its pace.

 “You caught me.”

 He held another cupcake to my lips but I shook my head. “I’m hungry for real food right now.”

 He nodded, and without me saying another word, he took my elbow to bring me to his side. It was comforting to have his hand at my back as we walked through the spread of food. Even if it was lightly placed, in a crowd full of people I didn’t know, at least I had a place with him. My eyes widened when I saw them. The glorious, innovative Pasta Pops. AKA rolled up ball of pesto pasta on chopsticks… I grabbed four.

 “So, when am I seeing your dad?”

 “What?” He piled more food on top of the mountain already growing on his plate.

 “Your dad. The reason why you invited me.” I didn’t believe it. Not anymore. The host of the party wasn’t going to sit down and talk about a potential internship at his own full-fledged party.

 I put a Pasta Pop in my mouth. His attention broke and he watched my lips go over the ball, puckering as I pulled it to the tip. It’s when my lips came off with a “pop” that he sucked in a cheek, smirking.

 “You won’t be talking with Lionel long. Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself in the meantime.”

 But when I reached over someone’s arm to grab a slider, they stopped me.

 “Hey, you.”

 His eyes lit up and instantly I was drawn in for an awkward hug. Behind his back, I mouthed did you plan this?

 He shrugged his shoulders and looked away with a sly look.

 Lionel pulled away from our quick embrace and looked to my pile of food. It was my turn for the awkward shrug.

 “No, it’s good! Keep going! We have enough food here to feed a small country. Are you still thinking about medicine?”

 “Yeah, not much has changed in the past couple of weeks. Same old, same old.”

 He paused, raising a finger. “I gave you my card, right?”

 How could I forget the card that’s been burning a hole through my dresser…

 “Yes. I’ve been meaning to call you, but I’ve been so busy studying with these midterms, and work, too...” I let my voice fade.  

 “What do you do for work?”

 Harry slowed as he picked up a napkin, and I knew he was listening in even if he wouldn’t stop and join the conversation. I watched his eyes skirt across the table close to where my hand toyed with the serving spoon.

 “Well, I’m a T.A. right now, but I’m also working in the physical therapy room on campus. It’s pretty easy for the most part, blood doesn’t scare me.”

 “Good. You’ll need a strong stomach for most cases.” A man tapped him on the shoulder, stealing his attention. “Give me a call when you can, we’ll set something up at the practice.”

 He leaned in behind Harry, both hands on his back. “Take care of her tonight.”

 Harry stiffened. I’m not sure why. Lionel had such a warm look in his eyes, I automatically trusted him. As he left with his friend, he flashed us one white smile, and I felt loved.

 What the heck was in this family. What kind of beauty steroids did they take?

 “Penny for your thoughts?”

 The quip sounded weird coming from Harry, the Vogue Italia model, leaning against the table. But then again, I was looking after his father with a dazed look on my face that was screaming “I wish I was 40 and you weren’t married.” I snapped out of it and mimicked his pose, equally skeptical.

 “If I hadn’t seen your dad here just now, I swear I wouldn’t have seen him at all. I barely recognize the place with so many…”

 “People?”

 I nodded.

 “I promised that you’d talk to him.”

 “Riiiight.”

 “You don’t trust me?”

 My brows rose. “That’s a loaded question.”

 A spark of indignance puffed up his chest. “What? You actually have to think about that?”

 “I’m just saying. Communication is usually the key to building that up. Just, you know, a friendly tip to help you with those future relationships.” I tapped his chest, and he reached for my wrist. A bold move, sober. He thought so, too, for he dropped it a second later. I was waiting for a, “You can trust me,” but instead he turned serious.

 “Smart girl.”

 He looked at me that way again. A little too deep, a little too long, and I cursed myself for not knowing what to do. He took a bit of his bottom lip between his teeth.

 “I didn’t know you worked in the therapy room.”

 “That’s because you never noticed me before.”

 “Ah, ah,” he raised a finger like his father. “That’s because I’ve never been injured before.”

 I let out a short laugh. “You’re an arrogant thing, aren’t you.”

 “Just honest.”

 Honest.

 But would you answer if I asked, Harry? Would you answer if I asked you what in the heck we were doing? Did I even want to know the answer?

 “I’m really glad you’re here,” he said. And it looked like there was something more swimming behind those eyes.

 “I am, too,” I said. “Much better than a sorority party...” My eyes narrowed. “What in the-”

 “Y/N?”

 Clearly, Viv was just as surprised to see me. Mary Styles was beside her, and she raised her glass to me in a distant hello before giving Viv a kiss on the cheek, excusing herself.

 “What are you doing here?” The silver blue dress she wore was glued to her skinny frame like snakeskin. Harry shifted his feet as she came closer and I wonder if he noticed how tight it was.

 “I followed the noise and traffic directors and decided to hop the gates,” I said.  

 “You didn’t get the initiate invite?”

 An almost pitiful look befell Harry. “You had somewhere else to be?” His puppy dog eyes confused me.

 “Technically, yes. I just, um” - I looked to Viv - “decided to spend my evening somewhere else. You didn’t care to go either?”

 “Oh, I come every year. I practically live in the guest room anyways.”

 I pictured Viv laying poolside during summer barbeques, coming around for Christmas parties, and waking up in her silk pajamas to Sven handing her delicious pastries.  

 “Well this’ll be fun anyways. We’ll have our own little sorority party here.” She turned to Harry. “Can I speak to you for a second?”

 “Yeah.”

 She looked at me apologetically, then back to him. “Alone.”

 His eyes narrowed just the slightest, but he didn’t even have to think about it. He placed a hand at my back. “I’ll just be a second.”

 Viv gave me a half-smile as she interlinked her arm through his, and they left, abandoning me in a swarming crowd with cold sliders. Without him beside me, I fought the ever-present urge that I didn’t belong, but wandering to the glass doors, I saw the red gown in the reflection, the black lace of my mask. I didn’t look like regular ‘ol me tonight. Nobody knew me tonight. A rush of confidence ran through me.

 I was somebody. With, or without Harry.  

 A twinkling bell carried through the halls the same time I stood a little taller. The piano music died down and everyone quieted.

 “I hope everyone is enjoying their evening,” the shrill voice of Mary Styles carried higher as she placed herself atop the spiral staircase. Some people clapped a little prematurely and she smiled at them graciously. “If everyone could please begin filing into the foundation room, we are about to begin the programme.”

 I stole another flute of champagne. Programme.

 The twinkling sound rang again and people began handing their plates over so they could grab their wallets. Several men apologized as they bumped into me, trying to move around the cocktail waiters. Wherever Harry was, he’d just have to find me later. I followed the crowd when my blood ran cold.

 There was something sweet in the air.

 The air around me seemed thinner. I looked around, quickly, but all I saw were masks. Even if they didn’t have them on, their faces were starting to blur in my mind.

 But that too-sweet scent would never.

 It was the man from Kean’s.

 I inhaled again, but it was gone, carried away and overpowered by Dior perfume and Gucci cologne. Were they here? Were they watching me? Were they waiting to get me alone?

 They’d done it before. Maybe it’d be easier this time...

 My mind went to horrible places, and suddenly I was running against the sea.

 I scanned as I ran, but it was futile. I burst through the kitchen doors and froze. There, Mary Styles was heaving over the trashcan spitting out strands of pesto pasta.

 She looked up at me with the emptiest eyes I’d seen.

 “I’m-I’m sorry.”  I bumped into the counter, stumbling out the way I came. Her glossy eyes were haunting. Had I just seen Mrs. Styles eject the contents of her stomach?

 Alone, I shook it off, trying to calm my breathing. They couldn’t do anything to me here. Hell, Mrs. Styles was on the other side of the door. I would scream. People would hear me.  

 “Hey, you okay?”

 And even though I recognized the voice, when his hands were placed on my shoulders I flinched.

 “I smelled them,” I said, looking over my shoulder to the kitchen.

 “Who?” Harry’s eyes followed my gaze. He took a step toward the kitchen.

 “I wouldn’t,” I said.

 He stopped, confused. “I mean, you can, but I think your mom is sick,” I continued.  

 My tone wasn’t convincing. He bit his cheek. “Right.”

 And even though we both knew that his mom didn’t have food poisoning, that was a conversation for another time.

 “They’re here, Harry.”

 “What are you talking about?” He paused. His eyes saw the panic in mine and he swallowed, hard.

 “They can’t be. There’s security.”

 “I walked through the door, no one searched me or checked my name off a list.”

 “You’re a girl, it’s different. The security has a list of faces to watch out for, and trust me, they’d stand out.”

 “No- Harry,” I stammered. He wasn’t get it. “Their cologne. I haven’t smelled it since Kean’s.” The name tasted bitter on my tongue. “I was there- and your mom was talking and I was following these people but I smelled them. And it was so crowded so I ran and she was in the kitchen, and I don’t- I don’t know how, but they’re here. I didn’t imagine that. And no one else would be wearing that. No one else could smell like that.”

 I gasped for air, not realizing that I was on the verge of sobbing until Harry’s arms came around me.

 “Hey,” he soothed. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

 I let him hold me, but I wasn’t sure if I believed him. Their living area was too empty now. Too quiet. And even in his arms, even knowing what he’d done to them before, I didn’t feel safe. What was the point of having a massive castle if you couldn’t defend it? Your wealth just made you a sitting duck. A giant target.

 “Why would they be here?” I asked.

 “They wouldn’t be stupid enough to come here,” he reassured me.  

 “You probably think I’m crazy.”

 “No, don’t do that to yourself.” He pulled back just enough. “You’re not crazy.”

 And with no one to see, he took my hand, leading me past the foundation room. A part of me actually wanted to see the auction, but my mounting paranoia was stronger. We passed by the bar on the way to his room. It’d been empty for my last visit, but now the caterers were taking full advantage of its liquor storage capacity.

 “Let’s see,” his voice drawled as his fingers shifted through the bottles. He didn’t ask before pouring us two cocktails.

 “After you,” he said, nodding towards his room. By the time I’d sat down at the foot of his bed, he shut the door behind us with both drinks, and the vodka handle in the crook of his arm.

 “Is the foundation for your sister? Jane?”

 Harry avoided eye contact as he set the bottle down, pushing his hair back, brows raised.

 “Uh, kind of. I never knew her.” He turned to me finally, shrugging with an apathy that had taken years to perfect. “I mean it’s sad, we don’t have to talk about it now.”

 “Is it ever a good time?”

 He looked at me, giving me the chance to take back what I did. I didn’t.

 “She died before I was adopted.”

 “Oh.” My stomach dropped. There was so much I didn’t know, but I hadn’t been expecting this. His eyes didn’t hold any sadness, but guilt still pricked my heart. “I’m sorry.”

 He looked out the window again, distracted.

 “Again, I didn’t know her. It’s sad, but I don’t…” -he tried to find the right words, loosened his tie- “It’s not my grief.”

 I nodded; that made sense. It was his parents. The Styles. But the legacy of that pain couldn’t have had zero repercussions on their second child. There was more to the story than he was sharing, but I didn’t press. I walked closer, slowly toying with my drink.

 “So you find it hard to miss something you never had,” I clarified.

 He took a deep breath. “Cheers.” He raised his glass to me and I mimicked him, cringing at the stiff drink.

 “How are you feeling?” he asked.

 “Warm.”

 He nudged me, growing serious. “You know what I mean.”

 How was I feeling? The inner me cleared her throat and yelled from a soap box.

Jealous.

Scared.

Confused.

ANNOYED at how many windows this house had. I looked at Harry’s dark mask, the swirling madness in his emerald, the way the suit fit snug against his toned body… we were very much alone.

 Add turned on to my emotional cocktail.

 “I’m feeling a lot.”

 “Hm,” he hummed. “I’m feeling a lot too.” And it was so quiet. So bizarre to hear him say something even remotely close to feelings that I stood completely still. Was his drink as strong as mine?

 Our eyes were locked, but he didn’t turn away. I fought every fiber in my screaming to break the intense spell.

 He leaned in closer, tilted his head lower. Our noses brushed.

 Panic.

 “Are you and Viv…?”

 “I’m not up here with her am I.”

 Relief.

 But I didn’t have the courage to say she’d probably been up here before.

 “You know” - he pulled me closer, waists closing in - “I’m going to need a lot of help with that midterm,” he mumbled.

 Elation.

 An almost laugh that just lasted for a moment, because school seemed so trivial for what was happening in this house. There seemed to be split parts of me - the one I’ve always known and the one with him. Which one was more real to me now? I wasn’t sure if I was the same person that I once was - happy alone, solely immersed in school or netflix nights in. I’d been fine. I’d been safe. Maybe a little bored, but I hadn’t known there was more. With him there was a chaos that burned off his shoulders, that simmered in his eyes, and I drank in the warmth like a person frozen from snow.

 His hands squeezed my sides, and my eyes fluttered closed. “How are you feeling now?”

 “Good.”  

 He didn’t say anything more, but our breath was now in sync. It didn’t matter what he couldn’t say. What mattered was him, and the fact that when he looked at me, I felt everything he couldn’t say.

 Eyes couldn’t lie. Not like that.

 So I lifted my lips, and he went in for the kiss.

 It was like I’d been starved of oxygen when his soft lips encompassed my own. Oh God, I’d missed this buzz. I’d missed him.

 His hands cradled my face as he backed me up to the edge of the bed, lips never parting. A greedy hand shifted lower and he gripped the curve of backside. I whimpered a little, lips parting to allow his tongue to sneak in as he marked what I was so willing to give. He wasn’t pulling away this time. He wasn’t telling me no.

 I sat at the edge of the bed where he’d placed us, and leant back, his body falling atop mine. His delicious weight pinned me down, and he kissed down my neck, nibbling, biting. With a particularly hard suck, I moaned and when I looked down I saw him paused, hooded eyes looking up at me from the sound. His hands travelled down, slowly, from my waist to the ends of my dress. He was heavy but not crushing, deliberate but with respect. He waited for an answer.

 I nodded.

 He bit his lip in a smirk as he hitched up my dress. One hand clutching the soft skin of my hips, as the other supported him above me, Harry rolled his hips against me.

 Oh.

 Against the thin fabric of my underwear, I felt him harden between my folds. Gentle kisses were peppered along my chest and I pulled him closer.

 “Harry,” I whispered, lifting my hips against his. He groaned into my ear, a playful bite at the lobe.

 I shivered the same time his fingers travelled lower against my stomach. He stopped at the band of underwear, my breath catching when he cupped my sex.

 “Is this okay?” he whispered.

 I nodded, hummed, as his hand slowly rubbed against me. I could feel him watch me intently, but mostly I could feel him. Up, down, up... the friction against my bundle of nerves made my lips part. Again, and again, my breathing deepened and soon I was rutting against his hand. The damp patch he created was evident as he took several fingers and ran them against it. He applied pressure at my center and I wanted him to do more.

 He kissed my neck and a “please” stumbled out of my mouth. He smiled, letting out a small breath. He kissed my lips as his fingers pulled aside the lace. The cutest gesture of reassurance when there was nothing to reassure.

 I’d dreamt about this too many times for me to back out. This time I wouldn’t shy away. I took his bottom lip between mine. Go.

 But a glass shattering scream carried up the stairs.

 The commotion from downstairs grew louder, and I didn’t need to say anything.

 I’d already known.

 His hand retracted, and as quickly as it started, he’d rolled off to his side, my comforting weight gone.

 “What the fuck,” he muttered. He stood dead still at the edge of the bed but when he heard someone coming up the stairs, he lunged for the dresser, reached for the top drawer -

 From outside, “Harry! Harry, are you up here?”

 The door flew open.

 His arm fell to his side.

 Gemma stood at the doorway, slightly out of breath.

 “You need to come downstairs. Now.”

 I pulled my dress down, but Gemma wasn’t paying attention to me. There was a wild look in her eye only Harry could understand.

 He didn’t look back to me as he barrelled past her, she followed suit. I sat at the edge of the bed; alone, dishevelled, disoriented. I was scared to follow.

 Everything could change in a moment.

 There were footsteps at the door again and I looked up just in time to see Harry striding across the floor to me.

 “What are you-”

 His lips crashed into mine, and my breath was suspended again. There was an urgency in the kiss that hadn’t been there before. Deep, hard, a hand tangled in my hair when another hitched up my skirt. His fingers swiped at my entrance once and before I could kiss him back he pulled away.

 He let out an exasperated breath, and leant his forehead against mine.

 “I have to take care of this.”

 Unflinching, he drew the fingers that’d just pressed against my center up to his parted lips before swiping them against my own.

 He stood tall as he walked away, broad shoulders subtly moving beneath the suit as he drew a key from his pocket and closed the door behind him.

 There was no way in hell I was staying here.

 I shot up, running to the door - but it was locked. I pounded against it.

 “Harry? Harry let me out this isn’t funny!”

 I jiggled the handle again. Nothing.

 I wanted to scream, debated about screaming as I paced around the room. My eyes went to the top drawer of his dresser. I stopped. He’d reached for something there.

 When I pulled it open it was just some old band t-shirts, but my hand hit something in the back. Pushing aside the shirts was a black box.

 I quickly undid the clasp.

 A black handgun.

 I shoved the box to the back as quickly as I’d opened it.

 Fuck no.

 Frickity fracking fuck no.

 He’d been reaching for a gun.

 What kind of threats was he used to that he needed a gun?  

 I took a bobby pin from my hair, and with an expert skill that only growing up with a sibling could teach you, the lock was picked.

 It took me at least five minutes, but the door opened. I booked it downstairs, a flounder of red dress heading into a quiet commotion.

 I didn't see him when I made it down the stairs. There were too many confused bystanders huddled around their phones and switching social circles, whispering frantically about the scene before them.

I didn’t need to see anything in the crowd. For up on the wall, between collectors’ paintings was a vacant space.

 The family portrait was gone.

 And in its place was a snake that matched the one I’d seen tattooed on skin, the same snake that had been wrapped around my neck.

part 14

[freddie-mercurial]

Thank you so, so much to everyone who took part in Maycury Week, whether you were a creator or a consumer or just reblogged the post to help get the word around!  I’m honestly blown away by the number of new fics that were posted for these two and I can’t thank everyone enough for working so hard to post content!  There are 58 fics in the Maycury Week tag on AO3!  As well as some posts on tumblr!

So, as promised, here is the round-up post of Maycury Week!  Please mind the tags and warnings on each of these fics as I’m only copying the summaries!

Fraternity by LydianNode

After a tough day watching the others record "Back Chat," Brian goes to a bar and nurses a beer or six.

Having a normal job might not be so terrible, Brian thought as he signaled for the waiter to bring him another beer. People in normal jobs led safe, ordinary lives. They didn't get close enough to their co-workers to consider them brothers, didn't long for their approval, weren't willing to fight and die for them.

People in normal jobs didn't get stabbed in the back by harsh words gleefully sung to a catchy disco tune.

she's a killer queen by tartymoriarty

Brian finds himself somewhat distracted during the filming of I Want To Break Free. Freddie can't blame him.

(Don't Send Me To) The Path Of Nevermore by annieapple24

Using the prompt "it’s roger’s wedding and freddie’s had a little too much to drink. he gets very emotional during his speech and brian takes him outside to help him calm down a little" for Maycury week!

Here He Comes Now [Maycury Week] by LunaSoul

My contributions for Maycury Week.

he's my champion by Jenfly

A few pieces for the Maycury/Frian week.

Breakthru by jessahmewren

Wearing lingerie has always helped boost Brian's mood, but it's a secret he's kept hidden from Freddie, until now.

One Day by NightOfTheLand

A sleepy morning in bed and confessions are made.

A Truth by LydianNode

Freddie watches Roger's and Brian's segment of "Good Rockin' Tonight" and learns a truth.

"I know WHY we're doing it!" The irritable tone in Brian's voice gave way on a crack as he continued. "I just...I can't do what you do, sit there and blithely lie about the band, about Freddie being so sick."

"I'm not BLITHE. It's fucking hard work."

"And I'm saying I don't think I can do it. You covered up, but what if I make a mistake, say the wrong thing?" A brittle laugh filled the microphone. "We're in a world where the wrong thing to say is the truth and the right one's a lie."

"So don't tell a lie," Roger advised. "And don't tell the truth. Just tell *A* truth. Not about what's happening, but how you feel."

Brian snorted. "*A* truth."

Harmony in my Head (love in my heart) by sammyspreadyourwings

Every soulmate group has a shared language in their head. Brian's happens to be music, it should be easy enough to find them. He just hopes his first meeting goes smoothly.

something borrowed, something blue by rory_the_dragon

Written for the prompt: it’s roger’s wedding and freddie’s had a little too much to drink. he gets very emotional during his speech and brian takes him outside to help him calm down a little.

(Day one of Maycury Week)

lucky, lucky me by keepurselfalive

Brian held out his hands, opening them so Freddie could see the tiny clover – fours leaves and everything – that he was hoarding.

sometimes things fall apart by TimeTurnedFragile

It wasn't anger in Freddie's voice, wasn't anything that easy. Anger Brian's used to; he knows when to push past it and when to leave it alone, mostly. This isn't anger, this is something scarier, something like not being in love.

in all but name by salazarsslytherin

"I’m going to marry you one day.”

Freddie laughs into his mouth. “That’s not even legal.”

“Just wait,” Brian promises.

fingers by e_is_better_than_a

Freddie's fingers ache and Roger wants him to meet his friend.

flowers on his arm by disco__deaky

brian may has been waiting to meet his flower drawing soulmate his whole life.

(maycury week 2019; soulmate au!!)

from all this gloom life can start anew by epherians

Freddie and Brian find comfort through the song “Dear Friends.” Based on a future scene for No Weaknesses.

Written for Day 1 of Maycury Week 2019.

you have (stolen) my heart by patchworkangel

I'd marry you, he'd think, and make you this happy forever.

A silly daydream, really.

we may whisper once more (it's you I adore) by tartymoriarty

There was an awful time in the middle of it all when Brian thought they might not recover from the tension and the arguments and the ugly words thrown out in anger, but they did. Against the odds, the band scraped out alive, and his and Freddie’s relationship with it.

After everything, Brian wants to do something nice for Freddie.

Falling Into You by jessahmewren

Brian's first day of Uni starts with a few hitches, until he meets an enigmatic young man with a slight overbite.

Slow the Tempo (back to basics) by sammyspreadyourwings

1986 brings a lot of challenges to Queen, both professionally and personally. Freddie and Brian's relationship is one of them.

the wonder that's keeping the stars apart by rory_the_dragon

Brian might be starting to get into some trouble here.

(Part III in the College AU Series)

Posted for Day Two of Maycury Week

oh honey, i'll do anything for you by obscuriaal

Freddie's been trying to get Brian's attention for months; he tries something new.

love like fools by salazarsslytherin

“He was wearing his sex shirt,” he says numbly.

“...His what?”

“You know!” Freddie says. He waves his hand out toward the door Brian’s just disappeared through. “His fucking sex shirt! He always wears that shirt when it’s the night. He’s going to have sex with her, Roger!”

Roger snorts. “Brian does not have a sex shirt,” he says.

Freddie is jealous. Brian, it turns out, is also jealous.

wanna know that body like it's mine by keepurselfalive

"I don't want to rush you or anything, darling,” he said breathlessly, shifting his hips in a slow roll against Brian's dick, "but I have been waiting a really long time for you to fuck me."

soul brother by e_is_better_than_a

freddie has a surprise for a really sad brian.

down on my knees (i want to take you there) by TimeTurnedFragile

The problem--Freddie has determined--with being in love with The Most Beautiful Boy on the Planet, is that it's hard to just buy him a beer or something pedestrian like that, but Freddie can't really afford much else.

floating around in ecstasy by disco__deaky

Brian and Freddie experience a bunch of firsts.

I've Got a Surprise For You by BohemianBeth

A Four Magical Misfits one-shot for Maycury week. 5 times Brian comforted Freddie and one time Freddie comforted Brian.

give me your mind baby give me your body by tartymoriarty

“I tell you what,” Brian says, phrasing it like a spontaneous suggestion even though Freddie knows he has absolutely been planning this for the last three days. “You do something for me, and once you’ve done that, I’ll take the plug out and I’ll fuck you. How does that sound?”

if we loved again (i swear i'd love you right) by salazarsslytherin

“Roger,” Brian snaps. “Tell me what’s wrong. Is Freddie okay?”

“He’s lost a lot of memories,” Roger says bluntly. “About five years or so, we think. Maybe six? He doesn’t know Queen split up. He doesn’t know about Deaky. He thinks…”

Brian doesn’t need him to finish. Five years ago, he’d been more happy than he could fathom. They’d been on top of the world, dominating in the charts, jetting off around the world to play to thousands of adoring fans and falling into bed together each night, so giddy and in love Brian had never dreamed anything might ruin it.

love you a little, love you a latte by rory_the_dragon

Brian is running late when he sees the sign that’s going to ruin the rest of his already shitty day.

(Written for Day Three of Maycury Week: Coffee Shop AU)

stop making me laugh! by disco__deaky

maycury week day 3;

freddie and brian have some fun .

My Soul's Lover by yasmamamercury (TwistOfLily)

The boys are just finishing up the Hot Space album and things have been tense. Brian's convinced that his boys have fallen out of love with him, until Freddie sets the record straight with a well-planned surprise.

The Song They Created by LydianNode

Freddie and Brian have a moment backstage before their Live Aid duet. (Prompt for Day 3 of Maycury Week.)

"It's nice, this. Just a few minutes for the two of us." Freddie turned his warm eyes up to catch Brian's gaze. "We don't do it enough."

Not since Munich, Brian didn't say, but he must have stiffened a little because Freddie reached up to tangle his fingers in Brian's hair.

Ode to Joy (a Queen Cover) by sammyspreadyourwings

Brian and Freddie have a silly moment during sex

a fat bottomed surprise by e_is_better_than_a

Freddie arranges a little surprise for their tour.

i ride off alone (help me hold on to you) by keepurselfalive

He wondered when they had started fighting like adults instead of bickering like kids.

I love You 'cause you're sweet (and I love You 'cause you're naughty) by BambiRex

This is my contribution to the Maycury week. I went with the costumes/roleplay prompt.

you got a face that begs for love by tartymoriarty

Brian glances at Freddie again. Freddie’s mouth is still downturned, his eyes are still sad, and that simply will not do.

Photograph by jessahmewren

Brian is a soon-to-be single parent who meets a charming photographer who helps him discover his true worth.

For the Man that Has Everything by lover_of_blue_roses

What to buy the man that has everything? Why, the wrong thing of course.

where you are wanted by keepurselfalive

Freddie shows up at Brian's new house the day after he moves in.

so take a chance with me by rory_the_dragon

Brian and Freddie share a moment during Freddie's 39th Birthday Party.

(Written for Maycury Week: Day Four)

gift giving by e_is_better_than_a

Brian doesn't know what to get a man that has everything.

Eternity (I give to you) by sammyspreadyourwings

Brian May struggles to figure out what he can give Freddie for his birthday.

You Make It Easier by WritingSiren

Brian's been in the hospital for three weeks now, and he's convinced himself that he just may go crazy if he stays here any longer. But there's one thing he always looks forward to ever since he's been here. -- Written for Maycury Week: day 5

Prompt: "brian's in hospital slowly recovering from hepatitis; freddie visiting him every day is the only thing keeping him sane."

there's no place for us by tartymoriarty

There’s something delicate about this one. He’s short, a lot smaller than Brian, and slender with it too, all slim wrists and sharp cheekbones. When he tips his head back and smiles up at Brian, a dimple winking in his cheek, he keeps his mouth closed.

Brian would quite like to see that mouth open around Brian’s name, but that isn’t what he came to the club for. He came to feed and the club is as good a hunting ground as any.

Round the new moon's shine by Tikini

The neck shrugged again. “I have no interest in women. And I have no interest in seeing anyone drown. The men however…” He eyed Brian intensely and licked his lips. “I just can’t have enough of the men.”

“But your song doesn’t work on men.” Brian pointed out.

“No I know.” The neck sighed sadly. “It’s a real dilemma.”

tell my love to wreck it all by salazarsslytherin

“I want to talk to you, anyway,” Brian says quietly. “When you’re done. I’ve been thinking about what you said before I left.”

Brian finally returns home from his trip to Tenerife and goes to Liverpool to bring Freddie home.

slow hands by rory_the_dragon

Brian has privately made his own plans not to leave his bed for love nor money.

And why would he, when he’s got a deliciously warm Freddie Mercury curled up in front of him, asleep, softly snoring, just begging for a day in bed.

(Written for Day Four of Maycury Week)

Midnight in the Meadow by jessahmewren

A young scientist has an unexpected meeting with an unusual vampire and becomes immediately intrigued.

sleepy stars by e_is_better_than_a

Brian has to drag Freddie away from his cauldron after hours of trying to make his potion right.

the light of the night burned bright by tartymoriarty

“They, ah.” Brian pauses and clears his throat, stepping aside to let Freddie in properly. “They mixed up the room details, I think.”

Freddie looks past him. The lamps aren’t on so all he’s got to see by is the light from the corridor beyond; it takes him a moment to register what Brian means. Their bags have been brought ahead, left at the foot of the bed. The bed, singular.

Ah.

An (Almost) Missed Connection by WritingSiren

Freddie Bulsara has been closely following a band called Smile ever since they started. He's developed a crush on the guitarist, Brian, and he's pretty sure he likes him too. If only he could work up the courage to talk to him... -- Written for Maycury Week: day 7

Prompt: "brian's in a band called smile trying to make things work between music and his degree when his bandmate tim introduces them to his friend, freddie. the rest is history."

don't you hear me calling you? by tartymoriarty

In all the worlds in all the universes that ever existed or will exist, there is a Brian, and there is a Freddie.

rest and relaxation by e_is_better_than_a

After recording their first album, Brian and Freddie are ready to enjoy time alone.

we inhale, exhale, and reset by starrydrowse

He’s in his own bed— finally— after endless months of cramped tour bus bunks and fancy hotel rooms that, while nice (and unquestionably better than the shoddy Holiday Inns they’d stayed in during their early years) always leave a bit of a sour taste in Brian’s mouth.

He’s finally home and he has nowhere at all to be— no plans, no commitments— nothing even remotely important to think about except for Freddie, warm and wrapped in his arms, clinging to him, breathing softly as he sleeps.

*

Or, Brian and Freddie spend a morning taking things slow.

(in)finite by fortyfive_rpm (2davidbeckham3)

Poem set during Brian and Freddie's Live Aid performance of "Is This the World We Created?"

Feel Your Heartbeat by CommonSenseisPaineful

'-it shouldn’t be frightening, he tried to rationalise. He was just shopping. For lingerie. For lingerie that would fit him- oh god this was a bit too much to handle.' ~ For Frian/Maycury week; Brian is curious, Freddie is flirty, and dressing rooms are much more private to everyone's delight.

A Misunderstandment by Blackbean

"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore." Freddie felt his heart break.

The More I'm Trying by CommonSenseisPaineful

'And if I say I love you in the candle light there's no-one but myself to blame' ~ 'First time' for maycury week. Freddie's realising a lot of firsts.

Soft Kisses by NightOfTheLand

Freddie might have gone a little overboard with setting the scene. He ran his sweaty palms down the front of his shirt as he looked around the room. Would Brian even like the candles? The soft sound of Hendrix from the record player in the corner?

~~ Or Freddie and Brian enjoy an evening together

The Wicked Never Sleep by wordwhisper

'God, your voice.’, Brian breathes and Freddie immediately recoils so sharply that he almost hits the opposite wall.

‘My what?’

or the Early- Queen Era 70s (sort of) AU in which Freddie’s a modern-day Siren, Trident is run by Apollo and nothing is as it seems. (inspired by lots of conversations and this post)

Album 12 Track 6 by CommonSenseisPaineful

"I want to stay like this forever"- maycury/frian week. ~ Brian and Freddie write a tune, at the dawn of night.

Levitate by disco__deaky

Brian and Freddie share some love for eachother and their boys.

Maycury week day 5.

Coffee, Cigarettes, and Morning Sex by Anonymous 

"Come on, don't tell me you want coffee more than a blowjob right now?"

aka Brian really wants morning sex, but Freddie's got a few addictions that are getting in the way of that happening.

TUMBLR POSTS (that aren’t already on AO3):

gifset by hammer-to-fall

post from incorrectborhapquotes

fic by stayinqpower - it’s freddie’s birthday and brian doesn’t know what to get for the man who has everything

Tell Him - fic by thosequeenboys

fic by dusty-drabbles - stop making me laugh

I think that’s everything but if I’ve missed anything, please please let me know!  I promise I have not left anything out deliberately so if you posted something and it’s not in here, it’s just my mistake and I’ve missed it!  Let me know and I’ll add it in :) 

Again a massive, massive thank you to everyone who got involved, I cannot thank you enough!