#also this is from the uncut version

[gunsatthaphan]

🐱🐾.

[makotoscoffee]

Palo made one tweet and one insta story post about Fanny and yet I'm eating it up like they're having some intense long going feud heat up again

[the-acid-pear]

Gotta play every youtube tab at once now

some arent even videos some are just channels but considering i have jabroni mike and the grey leno show and i think joel too open i think it would cause severe brain and ear damage

[mr-iskender]

scream thank you for swinging at the particular hornet’s nest bc the lyrics that person used to prove that she’s actually a good lyricist…… ya know who has used the “keep you like an oath” line before? FALL OUT BOY. pete wentz literally wrote those words too 😔 like what u like ofc i like fall out boy for example but oh my god. be serious pls

ksdslkjdfsd i did not know that and it makes the whole thing even better, thank you anon. looking at the lyrics that person used, you really think, ok if this is the best you can do, these particular lyrics the best and most poetic you can find, i rest my case your honour, the fact record speaks for itself lmao

[firstpooher]

Every time I edit this it gives a diff vibe and I'm so in for it also I put the two scenes they cut from the uncut version bec you( most importantly me) deserve to see it all

Insta : firstpooher

My part time job is editing poohpavel enjoy

[katz-chow]

nsfw headcanons with the 141 + graves

warnings: nsfw 18+, gn!reader (amab & afab versions), past sexual trauma in ghost's part, bondage, edging, denial, teasing, dom & sub dynamics,

a/n: i really thought about this mostly because i don't like it when the fandom has like these takes that are i guess...expected from these men when they're literal soldiers...some are just takes that i deem unrealistic so here i'm trying to humanize them. hope y'all enjoy!

john price

6 in hard, cut, trimmed but is not really maintained as well as his beard, around med thick, a bit darker than his skin tone, curves up pretty straight i feel he's the type to like it really slow and gentle with you. like he takes his time, cigar in his mouth, and just his hand on you constantly. he loves to just relax after an action packed day, so having this as his peace of mind is something he'll really appreciate. he has the oldest, cheesiest playlist that he'll sometimes puts on whenever there'll be a day where he has a whole date planned. like this mf really thinks "rock your body" by justin timberlake something he can get down too. you make fun of him but he feels so good so it's ok. surprisingly has really good stamina for a 37 y/o dude. is very vanilla but he loves body worshipping. loves you like a divine being and to him you really are. he'll rather take you on the kitchen counter whenever you two are too impatient, maybe even on the bathroom vanity when you looks so cute after brushing your teeth that he just can't help it before he goes to work. would rather be on top of you, not really a dom & sub dynamic, just him taking over to make sure you're taken care of. a real good ol' fashion lover boy. after a long day at work and he just wants to relax, he'll just either ask you to blow him while he manspreads on the couch or he'll make you ride him on your bed. this man talks you through, never degrades you unless you ask for it. he'll prefers to baby you like the pillow princess you are...but he also expects the same when he's lazy he also loves it when you tug his hair when he goes down on you, grinding against his face or whatever. won't whine or whimper, but will pant like a dog in heat (he is) tits/chest kind of guy, loves to have his hands on your chest and squeeze them, so squishy! aftercare with him is like heaven because as soon as you two are finished, he immediately cleans you up and draws a bath for you both, or just you, to enjoy. good ol' fashion lover boy

simon "ghost" riley

6.5 in, uncut, doesn't really shave or trim, pink, warm undertones, i'd say pretty girthy, curves left so, so gentle with you. just like really soft with you, always making sure you're okay and that you're comfy the type to lay you down and just slowly press in, making sure your face is full of pleasure and not pain. because of his past experience, getting him to have sex in the first place took a long time, actually it was like year. so now that he's comfortable with you, he makes sure, for sure, that you're comfortable with him. consent is sexy. likes positions where he can sees your face, just to check up (and because he thinks you looks so angelic when you o) i feel like he wouldn't listen to any music while going at it, he doesn't want to be distracted from you. you love seeing his face too so its okay. incredibly hesitant and will not push your boundaries, also hard for him if you do end up doing something you haven't really talked about, even if it was accidental. his fav positions are anything that allows him to see your face and is easy for you to speak, that means no doggy, no pressing your face into the pillows etc etc. is not into bondage or tying you up, hates the fact that it feels like he's interrogating you and he hates the feeling of himself being tied up. always make sure you know what the safe word is, even if he's never going to push your boundaries or even go near it. once he finds a safe zone, he stays there unless you ask and he considers it (the safe word is pineapple) very vanilla and i feel like he wouldn't sub until there is a detailed talk beforehand and really, really trusts you. even then he still makes sure that you're in his view and you both know the safe word. once he does subs and lets you take full control, he's pretty vocal with you, talking to you, groaning and moaning, but he's still pretty quiet actually first time you introduced aftercare to him, he cried. he didn't know how loved he could feel while in the topic of sex, thought it was all hot and rough and not this soft. his favorite thing to do with you is to just wipe you both clean with a baby wipe from a packet you two keep in the nightstand. then he'll put on some clothes for you and him and just cuddle and kiss. he likes when you get him food afterwards when he subs someone please hug this man

kyle "gaz" garrick

7 in, cut, def trimmed, sometimes he'll even shave, darker than his skin tone, med thickness, doesn't curve but kinda rises straight up and hits his stomach, very cute he's 10000% down to do it any time whenever you two are at home. such a good balance between degradation and praise, only if you're okay with it. have you heard this man? he's a giggler, he'll giggle and tickle you and make funny jokes. one time, one of you farted (you two are still denying who it was to this day) and he couldn't stop laughing and mimicking the little toot sound i have a big feeling that he's into choking, but only you choking him. otherwise, he likes having his hand on your throat but not actually squeezing, just to keep you in place and for you to claw at speaking of your claws, he likes when you push him away and scratch at his forearms whenever he's overstimulating you. he just thinks it's so cute. definitely has a few playlists he shuffles through depending on the mood, one for a serious, hot and dirty mood and another for when you two are just chilling and being silly goofy, no kinky stuff. also into handcuffs, especially the fluffy ones. he thinks they just feel so soft and nice, a perfect balance between vanilla and kinky stuff. also because he feels like hes being pampered when he wears them attached to the headboard. lets out such cute and pretty moans no matter if he's domming or subbing. when he is subbing though, he lets out these really nice, low whines and pouts followed by a little giggle if it was silly your safeword is definitely something really funny and an inside joke that instantly ruins the mood (it's toots) he will actually ruin you if he's upset; def the type to have angry sex with you if two end up being really upset with each other. frustration sex? yes definitely. loves when you fuck him really rough, deny him, edge him, make him blabbering. he'll thank you afterwards too. if he's domming, he'll make sure you shower first and foremost, then orders take out and watch some stupid romcom. he loves romcoms (10 things i hate about you, will sing along with heath ledger) if he's subbing, depending on the intensity, he'll either just roll over after you wipe him down and immediately sleep as you pet his hair or he'll cling onto you and you two play minecraft together with him between your legs. 10/10 he's very adaptable

johnny "soap" mactavish

5.6 in, uncut, trimmed and maintained constantly, pretty pink but not much different from his skin tone, vvy girthy, leans a bit left but pretty straight this man is so damn funny. listen this mf has fell, cut himself, slipped, had a cramp, and hit his head too many times. he's so fucking clumsy but he's also so curious! but also...why does he want to have sex upside?!?! ughhhh!!! definitely a switch and definitely a power bottom...for a good 5 minutes. yes he will bite you and act like a brat whenever you dom him and mess with him, but as soon as you tie him up and edge him once, he's a goner definitely makes fun of you to see your flushed face, but also makes fun of himself. he uses his cock like a puppet and it has its own personality and voice. you laugh so hard and honestly that's better than hearing your moans. he loves your laugh makes his cock salute you before you two go down, it's so fucking funny. his "little buddy" jumping up when he calls attention and in parade rest. god it makes you laugh every time. his favorite position when he's subbing is cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. he's such an ass man, loves him some ass, will bite you like its actual cake. reverse cowgirl is reserved for when you're feeling mean though, because sometimes you just pull off of him to jerk him off and sit on his stomach. he has a nice view of your ass but can't see what you're about to do to him :( a big tease when he's domming, will have the most randomest patterns ever just to get you to whine and beg for him to go at certain pace. give him a few pouts and glossy tears and he'll do whatever you want, he's a big softie behind all the tease and bratiness. also a fan of doggy if you two are doing it quickly, he loves bending you over a surface and just going ham at it. good position for him to reach and jerk you off at the same time too. immediately cuddles as aftercare and not cleaning up right away, when he's subbing though, you def clean him up while he clings to you because he's so touchy feely but you want him to feel clean too, esp when he leaks so much (so much). when he's domming though, you two would just lay in bed (maybe even go for another round if you feel like it). gives you kisses and asks what you like and didn't like, a full debrief. plays mario kart afterwards with you and you let him win because you're tired. such a silly man

phillip graves

5.6 in, cut, not really trimmed or maintained, a pretty pink almost red tip, med girth, he curves UP like UP this man is a big tease, and super egotistical. he'll make you beg, whine, pout, and grind against him before he will even touch you. he likes cockwarning a lot while he's on a business call or doing paperwork. he's patient. makes you cum first, doesn't matter if he's domming or subbing, he wants you to use him like a toy for your own pleasure until you're satisfied enough that he'll even think about cumming. when he's domming, he loves to call you the nastiest things (if you allow him), absolutely ruins you and coats you with his cum. he's a southern gentlemen though and will make your mind go numb with pleasure, def a pleasure dom now that i'm using my noggin his fav positions are cowgirl, missionary, and doggy. lotus mostly so he can wrap his arms around you. makes you wear his cowboy hat when you ride him. and will use the hat rule in public to get you to suck him off in the car LOLOL i feel like he's big into gags, not really on you, but def on him. wants to be drooling and leaking all over himself while he whines and begs you to touch him, he's cute. likes being manhandled. grabbing his jaw, digging your nails into his back, biting him, even if he's on top, he'll enjoy it. he likes the scratch marks you give him and wears them like a trophy for his shadows to see. very vocal with you and loves to be a pillow princess when he bottoms. likes to be tied up with a vibe on his cock and edged and overstimulated will whimper and whine and moan and pout, like a little puppy. would probably grind up against your leg when he feels extra needy. aftercare with him is kinda shitty whenever he doms ngl. he'll make you something to eat and probably take you shopping afterwards. not a big cuddler but would hold you if you curl up into him. if he was subbing, he would probably take a nap after you pester him to take a shower. he'll just nap and finally wake up when he smells food that you get him for being so good lol saved by the grace of southerner charm

[dollsahoy]

I visited the craft thrift store last week and found this treasure in the free bin

Information and rambling under the cut

The original Kwik•Sew 1487 has a 1985 copyright, with the Elna version being ©1990 (although Kwik•Sew, when it was independent, always put its copyrights in Roman numerals and they chose to write MCMLXXXX instead of MCMXC)

As soon as I saw it, I wanted to use it to make something for The Child (so it's in the sewing project queue for now.) It is completely uncut, so I'm guessing whoever got it--probably for free--with their Elna serger did not want to engage in such frivolities.

Whenever I do make this, I'll probably take a lot of volume out of those sleeves.

The rounded extensions on pieces 3 and 12 of view B are pockets

I noticed that the back of the envelope calls for four different fabrics for view A, while the cover image has five (and it also looks like the checkerboard part may have been pieced from black and white fabrics, instead of being a printed fabric), so this pattern has so many possibilities for mixing fabrics.

[denileisariver]

warnings: dick analysis!, explicit detail of male genitalia, multiple versions of batman ♡, the batman (2022), batman v. superman, batman: arkham knight, comic batman, justice league.

a/n: purely for shits and giggles. if you saw me accidentally post this, no you fucking didn't.

THE BATMAN (2022)

tbh i think he would have an average length. like 6 inches, uncut, not too thick but not skinny either. his dick is prettyyyy. like really fucking pretty. the tip of his cock is a soft pinkish color, darkening slightly when he's hard. the bottom of his tip would form a sort of 'y' shape. this man is pale and so is the shaft of his dick, about #f2dac9. he's not really veiny either, the skin soft and smooth.

as an incluse, he doesn't really have sex, if any at all. he probably masturbates the most out of all the versions of batman. because of this, i feel like his balls would be pretty full, but they're not super big and heavy either. they're definitely really sensitive from not being touched a lot. would hang a bit more on the higher side.

cums so much ♡. like hyperspermia type shit. his seed would probably be a really pigmented white, spurting out in thick ropes. when he cums, the tip of his cock turns a softer red from the blood rush.

he would probably prefer to be nice and tidy, even completely shaven occasionally. but he gets too obsessed with work, and forgets about it sometimes, leaving him with a cute happy trail. his pubic hair never gets really long at all before he's cutting it off.

BATMAN V. SUPERMAN

probably baised but he has a really fat cock. super thick and girthy, the stretch of it 100% hurts a bit during sex. i'd still put him around 6.7 inches, he definitely shows a lot though, so maybe even 7 inches. he's cut too, the tip of his cock would be more mushroom shaped. the base of it would be slightly hyperpigmented, but overall around #e3c2aa. not the most veiny either, but a long thick vein would protrude from it along the shaft.

his balls are big, i don't wanna hear any backtalk. as the divorced husband and without any robins left, he's a fucking loner. he probably still fucks a decent amount, but not as much as people think. his balls would hang more lower. they're not the most sensitive, but he'd appreciate getting them licked or even sucked while receiving head.

his cum would be on the more opaque side, more translucent, the pigment softer in color. he doesn't cum super large amounts, but it definitely isn't small amounts of it either. you probably wouldn't be seeing much of it anyways, since he'd prefer to cum inside any of your holes he can get.

he's more hairy, not really caring much anymore about shaving as he gets older. he's not crazily unkempt, but he would probably hold it off until the hair gets uncomfortable or even if you asked him to.

BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT

he's fucking hung, i don't care what anybody says. easily 8 inches, also cut, the girth of it at the very least 3.5 inches. the tip of his cock might be more on the bigger side, the shape of it also more of a mushroom shape but more pointing upwards instead of round at the top, the bottom of the tip barely having a sort of short 'y' shape.

speaking of things pointing upwards, his cock is definitely curved up a bit, perfect to hit all those extra sensitive spots inside you. the most veiny out of all versions of batman, blame that on his crazy physique. he has protruding veins all over his body, and his cock is no exception. it would start around his pubic bone to the base of his dick, leading towards the shaft and ending closely to his tip. definitely multiple on him too. he's a bit more pale, around #f7edd2.

his balls are fucking heavy, something that's just a given with a cock as big as his. you would be able to feel them slapping against your skin in positions where he's fucking himself into you, as opposed to something like cowgirl. they also hang decently low too.

he can cum large amounts after not having sex in a while, but it probably turns into an average amount if he's having sex regularly. the color is also a more soft pigment but not too translucent.

i would say he would be on the more shaven side, but after playing batman: arkham knight multiple times, there's a conversation available between some thugs that mention this batman is more hairer than clean shaven. he's not the most tidy, probably not the hairiest either, but it's definitely there.

COMIC BATMAN

he's a fucking slut, period. not the biggest, but he knows damn well how to use it, kind of average around 6.5 inches. the tip of it isn't super round, not really pointy either, just sort of in between. he also has a pretty average girth, probably also cut. he would have smaller veins poking out of the shaft, none super long or thick, but they're definitely noticeable. depending on which comic he could either be super pale or sort of tan, but i'd say he's around #fce3d2. his tip is sort of a darker, mute kind of pink.

his balls aren't too big, definitely not small either, they don't hang super low or high. he has the picture perfect image of a nice, pretty cock. as a man-whore, i don't think he would be really sensitive either, but when he's about to orgasm, his dick definitely spasms a lot, the tip of it would become an angry red, and his balls would tighten up like he doesn't fuck a lot, but he definitely does.

he wouldn't cum a crazy lot either, his balls are happily emptied by himself or whoever's hole he's fucking for the week, maybe cums the least out of all the versions of batman, but still a good healthy amount. the color is more pigmented, barely opaque unless it's getting spread around.

since he has sex pretty often, for himself and the sake of his partner, he would keep himself shaven smooth, might even go so far as waxing himself. if he is hairy, it's because he's been working a lot and just doesn't have the time to clean himself up.

JUSTICE LEAGUE

he doesn't give me vibes that he's fucking a lot, but he definitely gives me big pp energy. he's uncut, 7 inches max, kind of curved to the right because of masturbating a lot. despite him having a great physique, i don't think his cock would be really veiny, and if there is, it's probably more around his pubic bone than on his shaft. he'd be more tan in color, around #ba9277. his tip is darker too, maybe a very light maroonish color.

his balls are decently heavy, they don't get emptied too often so they can get pretty big sometimes. for some reason, i also feel like they would have a sort of light hyperpigmentation. they hang on the lower side, but they're just as pretty as any version of batman ♡.

he can cum large amounts, he doesn't really care where either, as long as he can release after being pent up for a decent amount of time. it's also pretty pigmented in color, but due to how much he cums, it can get sort of translucent.

i imagine him more on the hairer side, he works a lot as both personas, and just doesn't really get around to it. if he was expecting to have sex soon, then he would take the time to shave himself up a bit. maybe not completely, but just enough so it isn't as bushy. but if he fucks someone and it's completely spontaneous and unplanned, his hair would definitely be pretty coarse.

a/n: omfg i struggled so bad to post this. i had to rewrite like three times just because it didn't save, on top of accidentally posting it while it was unfinished. i hate it here 🫠. but anyways, i was thinking about this and need all of these versions of batman to run a train on me ♡.

[hello-nichya-here]

So I've asked you this in private, but I thought the rest of your followers should see this as your thoughts are quite entertaining.

What is your opinion on the idea of stuff like this being the only acceptable method of pornography?

*cracks knuckles* Let's get the easiest part out of the way first.

Saying Something Is "Female-Friendly" Is Just Marketing

I'm sorry (not really) to be the one to state the obvious, but at best labeling any kind of pornography as "female friendly" means "most of the people that enjoy this are women" - which is very different from saying "ALL women are into this" or "No guys are ever into this." It's the good old "this cartoon is for boys, that one is for girls."

It's not a radical statement, it's not revolutionary, and it is at best a morally neutral mention of a random statistic that is being used to find the best demography to advertise to and at worst just pointlessly trying to force people into boxes with that they are/are not allowed to enjoy based on their gender.

Don't believe me? Well, too bad because this image you're seeing is literally part of a facebook ad for a porn site. The name of the site and of the artist they were working with can be seen at the top in the uncut version. Like I said, it doesn't matter how "radical" these claims of "this product is made for/by X minority group" pretend to be, at the end of the day it's just marketing.

"Oh, but people obviously support the message it's sending anyway!" True... but that message is at best filled with poor word choices, and full on terrible at worst.

Consent - Important In Real Life, Meaningless In Fantasy

In the context of this being an ad for a porno site, I think it's safe to say "Consent-based" is just a way of assuring viewers that every actress was fully consenting to every sexual act and was not pressured into anything in any way, which is the bare minimum.

HOWEVER, I've seen plenty of people misunderstand or flat out lie about the "consent-based porn" term means. Like I explained, it is meant to be about the ACTORS consenting - but their "characters" don't need to consent to anything because they are not real. A hardcore CNC fantasy with the actress pretending she doesn't want the sex/is not enjoying it while her co-star pretends to force themselves on her is STILL consent-based if the actress playing the victim role can stop the scene for literally any reason and even walk out completely if that's what she wants.

Unfortunatelly, because kink-shaming is still very much a thing, people act like that is crossing a line and totally counts as legitimate assault - even in videos that the actors before AND after the scene mention how excited they are, how great it was, openly discuss their kinks, etc.

Nobody needs to watch something so extreme if they don't want to, but I have a serious problem with people saying stuff like that shouldn't ever happen. If the people involved in the role-play are doing it WILLINGLY and can back down at any moment, then it isn't in anyway immoral.

Sexual Attraction Is NOT The Same As Respect/Acceptance

Once again, I'm sorry (not really) to be the one who has to tell you guys this, but "representation" in porn is meaningless because:

1 - It doesn't matter how many porn videos there are of any minority group - each individual person picking something to watch will only click on the ones that show people with the body-types and genders they are attracted to, doing stuff they personally find appealing.

2 - "This kind of porn is popular" does not in anyway translate to "this is what society deems morally acceptable". A ton of homophobes LOVE lesbian porn. My country, Brazil, has always had porn with trans people and crossdressers as one of THE most popular trends - yet we are also the country that commits hate crimes against them the most, even when compared to places where being trans or crossdressing is literally a crime that earns you an authomatic death sentence. Incest porn has been obscenely popular everywhere for decades yet most people STILL find the thought of real-life incest absoutely repulsive.

3 - "I am not usually/ever attracted to people of group X" doesn't authomatically mean "I HATE people of group X." Just cause I like red-heads and brunettes, doesn't mean I'll be commiting hate crimes against blondes. If that was how things worked, sex-repulsed asexuals would hate literally all of humanity.

Wanting porn to be inclusive is utterly pointless because sexual attraction is 100% morally neutral. Which brings us to...

What Even Counts As "Objectification"?

Once again, if by "Don't objectify people" we are talking about how "Just because you hired this person to star in a porno, it doesn't mean you can just ignore their consent, comfort and safety for the sake of your fetish" then yeah, that's the bare minimum.

However, if you're saying "don't objectify people" as a way to say "Don't make the video too graphic/obscene/kinky" then we absolutely have a problem here because, my guy, it's porn. It is all about letting us see hot people looking slutty and fucking in great, explict detail.

"Oh, but these sexual acts are humiliating and gross!" To you, maybe. But not to the actors that are very willing to do it. I've had some of my fetishes be called both deeply disturbing and gross AND the most vanilla shit ever. That kind of stuff is 100% subjective, and the only people who can say "I felt disrespected/unsafe/abused" are the actors themselves. Once again, if THEY consented, there's nothing wrong with it regardless of it appealing to you or not.

"Oh, but we'd be wasting an opportunity to educate people/give X group more representation"

If I ever click on a porno and there's a two minute intro with the actors, both belonging to some minority group, talking about how one of them is also historian and the other is a astronomer, I will STILL only care about seeing them fuck even though I love both history and astronomy - not because I don't think they can't possibly know what they're talking about since they are sex workers or because of some kind of bigotry, but because, surprise surprise, I only check out porn sites for the porn. That's what EVERYONE does.

Hell, bad porn can be used to educate people. 50 Shades is awful and a ton of ignorant people think it is 100% accurate to how BDSM actually works. However, this has led to entire groups of people who are actually kinky to discuss REAL BDSM with vanilla people and educate them on how it can be a great thing. And, of course, there's people that enjoy those shitty novels/movies but KNOW they are not accurate representiation of BDSM because they are aware that PORN IS JUST FANTASY, NOT A GUIDE TO HOW SEX SHOULD WORK!

"But it's so shallow to focus only on these people's looks and know literally nothing else about them!"

Yes, and? Being "shallow" isn't always bad, and feeling attracted to someone solely for their looks is not a crime.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a goddamn fanfic writer and I was once the classic "teenager that totally thinks she'd have a chance with that famous rockstar that is old enough to be her dad", I KNOW that the thought of a real connection (emotional, intelectual, etc) CAN be hot - but there's nothing wrong with "These two people whose names I don't even know look hot, I wanna see them fuck, then I'll go take a nap and never think of them again." These porn stars are not crying themselves to sleep because people whose faces they've never even seen don't know anything about them other than how they look without clothes on.

"Female" Pleasure - Yet ANOTHER Hollow Marketing Term!

Seriously, that last one REALLY irritated me because it's one of those things that tries to sound progressive, but are meaningless at best and downright sexist at worst, because it implies:

1 - There must be a strict separation between "female" pleasure and "male" pleasure. A sexual act cannot possibly be enjoyable for both the guy and the girl, and gender prevents men and women from EVER being into the same thing (as a woman that finds more porn that fits my taste in "male-centered" sites than in most "porn for women" sites, this one gets on my nerves).

2 - Pleasuring one's partner cannot possibly be enjoyable - so, say, a girl cannot possibly enjoying giving her boyfriend head, and vice versa.

3 - Sex is a competition and women NEED to win because "female" pleasure is apparently more moral than "male" pleasure (hence the "ALL porn can and should be 'female' friendly")

4 - ALL women are turned on/turned off by the exact same sexual acts, and the level of pleasure they get is always exactly the same. Preferences are not individual and never change over time. (Seriously, a woman directs a sex scene between two actresses, the editor is a woman, and all the viewers are women - which one will speak for her entire gender and decide what "female" pleasure looks like? You see how silly this sounds?)

Conclusion

Sex and sexuality can never be over-simplified like that, and fantasies are just harmless fun.

[sevensistersofsussex]

The thing about Candyman (1992) that always strikes me so deeply when I watch it is the intention that went behind that movie. Especially from the actors.

Tony Todd describes in interviews how he and Virginia Madsen took waltzing and fencing lessons. "Romantic arts" he describes them. All so that they could properly convey what this movie set out to do despite set backs from the production company.

Candyman was always in love with Helen. The entire movie is about his pursuit of her. "Be my victim" and the promise of her death being "exquisite". A word he also uses to describe the promise of her kiss. It is a courtship in the darkest terms.

Every look Tony Todd gives her is intentional and fraught. God, the garage park scene and the way he looks at her like she's a miracle. He's seeing her again for the first time in person and all that history that only he remembers is there in his eyes.

The dancing. The kiss. The fact that the bees are in essence him now and when they kiss in the uncut version of the movie those bees are spilling into her mouth. His essence filling her too.

Even stealing baby Anthony feels like a moment where Candyman is attempting to resurrect in death the family that was brutally stolen from him. The pleading for Helen to come back because, we find out in the uncut version, she is already dead when she enters the bonfire.

It is everything that sets Candyman a part from other "slashers" of the time and it is everything that should have made it a heavy hitter alongside the "big three". It is also exactly why it wasn't.

[gunsatthaphan]

"are you tired?"

[animentality]

I have a begrudging respect for Adam Sandler, Seth McFarlane, and Sacha Baron Cohen, because while they're all comedians known for their low-hanging fruit, cheap offensive humor, and physical comedy that relies on frat boy antics...

Adam Sandler is actually a very talented actor, and I hear he's a very nice guy, and his whole bad movies schtick is literally just him money laundering from Hollywood, which I fully condone. Seth McFarlane is a Trekkie and a big nerd, and he's smarter than he acts and I get the sense that all the man wants to do is sing. And Sacha is a satirist who pushes boundaries in interesting ways, and he can also sing pretty well.

I kinda like that specific genre of man. You know how to make it rich in the entertainment industry, but you're smart enough to use that money and fame to make the things you really want.

For Adam Sandler, it was Uncut Gems and Leo. For Seth it was his own version of Star Trek (the nerd, god bless him). And for Sacha, I don't know what he's up to at all, but I'm sure he's got something funky going on. Maybe he makes sock puppets out of priceless antique clothing from the 14th century, I don't know.

[whumpofalltime]

whump of all time

SEMIFINALS!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter!

Once Upon A Time:

(gifset 1, gifset 2)

"There's blood, wounds, captivity, bondage, a slow-dipping-mechanism, a big rescue, and excellent acting by Colin O'Donoghue - who delivers the tiniest whimper and the most delectable of trembles for our whump-loving eyes to devour!" ~ @killian-whump

"[...] Killian was BROKEN. Absolutely and heart-wrenchingly devastated. He was tortured within an inch of his life (… or death, I guess) and practically left to slowly drop into a pit of eternal despair.

Killian was not easy to break. He would get injured and get back up with a sneer and an "I'm alright love you should see the other guy".

But to reach that point? The point of telling Emma she should have kept herself safe instead of saving him from this torment, to hold on to her like she was his lifeline, to SMILE that small smile from the first bit of hope he'd gotten since he ended up there?

The relief upon watching this episode for the first time was visceral. For two episodes we knew Hook was being tortured, we saw him try and fail to limp to safety, we saw his resolve and defiance desperately hold on, we saw him accept his fate, we saw him preferring to be tortured further than hurt his friends… And then he got saved! And he had no witty comeback, no effort to hide his pain. He just fucking collapsed in the arms of his beloved, of his saviour, and held on for a moment to realize that it was real, she was there, he was finally safe.

Add to that some amazing, jaw-dropping, emotional acting by Colin O'Donoghue, how can you get any better than that?

Anyway vote for ouat. Because this whole torture mini arc existing is probably what caused a chain reaction of me understanding and accepting I love whump, so. I wouldn't be here torturing blorbos if it weren't for it 🤣" @piracytheorist

"god tier acting" ~ @caliburn-the-sword

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[mikuni14]

Why I think the way the final episode of The Sign was distributed is wrong, offensive and unfair to fans. And how disappointing I am with this approach, because I sincerely supported Idol Factory and Saint.

Personally, I pay for Gaga, Viki and IQIYI, plus a VPN to watch shows that are not available in my country (like Pit Babe), which, you know, I already paid for 🙄 Additionally, I pay for Netflix, I have combined subscriptions with other people for Disney, HBO, Skyshowtime, Prime, last year we paid for Apple to watch Silo and Severance (I recommend both series btw 👌). I also don't mind paying one-time for a film on the platform, which is how I recently watched Oppenheimer.

Money is not an issue (<- lol), apart from the fact that I support myself and I have to work, and I have to carefully manage my budget in order to feed myself and my cat, clothe myself, pay my bills, and my loss of job will mean obviously giving up access to all these media. I say that money is not a problem in the sense that I WILL SPEND MONEY on something I like. I will save, I will give up something else, but I will spend this money on stuff I love.

The Sign has chosen a certain distribution method for international fans. They chose YouTube and chose a set airing hour. They could have chosen to distribute only in Thailand like Cherry Magic, or they could have chosen any other platform with paid subscriptions. But they chose YouTube. And they released 11 episodes for free and at a set time. And now they CHOSE to make the last ep paid and to create a complete chaos related to the distribution of the finale, because I honestly don't know at this point whether it is paid or not, what is paid and what is not, whether it is on Saturday or Sunday or it's for a ticket or for free on channel3 and apparently they have two endings????, which is always an alarming sign for me, because it's very Game of Thrones/Marvel style shit.

Besides, people have their own lives, their obligations, their schedules. Sometimes you just can't get around certain things and you can't watch a series in the available time, no matter how much you want. Secondly, releasing a product for free in order to limit access to it in the final phase is the worst manifestation of toxic capitalism. This is preying on the desperation and devotion of fans. The third thing is the selection of viewers into those who can afford it, have the time, have the resources and those who do not. And yes, sometimes even just $15 of an unexpected expense makes a huge difference in a person's budget. It's telling some of the fans that you are VIP and can sit in the front row, and the rest of the peasants should wait outside for two weeks 😄

tl;dr personally I want and can pay for: 1) the entire series on a legal platform 2) ADDITIONAL things, like specials, fan stuff, etc. I consider paying for access to the series finale, which until now was free, immoral.

But tbh I really have no idea what's going on, I go with the flow 🤡Whenever I check The Sign tag, I read more and more new information related to the possibility of watching the finale, and it's different every day. And if it turns out that the cut version of the series will be available for free on Channel 3, and the uncut version with subs will be available tomorrow with a ticket, it will be the funniest thing ever. Because that would mean that people paid $15 to watch, I don't know what, a sex scene? 😄

Idk, guys, instead of enjoying the finale, people are wondering how to watch it at all. And if IF starts doing this, won't others follow suit? 11 episodes for free, oh you want to watch the finale, well you have to pay or wait and dodge the spoilers 😈

And one last thing for potential defenders of this system, like "what's your problem, it will be available in 2 weeks, just wait": so you accept that not ALL fans will have a chance to experience the final ep together, which is the basis of the fan community? That some fans will experience and analyze the episodes this weekend, and the rest will wait?

[jwcartoonist]

How to Watch Looney Tunes

With hundreds of Looney Tunes cartoons leaving HBO Max recently, several of you are probably wondering how to get your Looney Tunes fix. Luckily JWCartoonist is here, with a guide on the best ways to find and watch the Looney Tunes in the modern day.

First option are the various DVD and Blu-Ray collections of the shorts. There have been a ton but the ones most recommended by fans are the Golden Collections, the Platinum Collections, and the Super Stars series (most of them, some of the discs feature repeats of previous sets). These sets feature the shorts remastered in the highest quality, and the Golden and Platinum collections include behind the scenes documentaries and features going into the making of the cartoons. A must for any Looney Tunes fan.

Important note about these sets: The cartoons in these releases are the versions completely uncut, which includes many of the jokes that haven't aged well such as the racist caricatures and stereotypes. Each of the sets with controversial content have a disclaimer at the beginning stating that while WB doesnt approve of these stereotypes, the cartoons are "presented they are originally created because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices never existed."

Second option is the first streaming home for the Looney Tunes, Boomerang. This includes hundreds of cartoons (including several of the reboot series), though their organization of the classic cartoons is a tad confusing. You also get access to several other classic animated series from the Warner, MGM, and Hanna-Barbera libraries for only $4.99 a month.

The main con with watching Looney Tunes on Boomerang is that most of the copies of these cartoons are the unrestored versions that were airing on Cartoon Network since the early 90's, thus the picture quality varies from short to short. (Boomerang on left, HBO on right). The same issue apples to the Boomerang TV channel, which to make matters worse, also stretches out the cartoons to fit widescreen TVs.

Your best option to watch Looney Tunes on TV is MeTV. On weekdays they air as part of the show "Toon In With Me" (@tooninwithmetv) (along with cartoons from Tom and Jerry, Popeye, and Pink Panther), and on Saturdays they air for a full hour on "Bugs Bunny and Friends."

MeTV probably treats the Looney Tunes (and the other cartoon series they've shown) the best in terms of TV broadcasting, as the versions of the cartoons they've aired are the restored high definition versions found on Blu-Rays and formally HBO Max. DVR it if you have MeTV in your cable package, or if you're feeling nostalgic, get up early in the morning and watch them the old fashioned way.

Well, that's all the best ways to watch Looney Tunes in the modern day. Let me know if there's any other options I've forgotten (no pirating). Till next time...

[disneyparksattractionstournament]

Extinct Disney Parks and Attractions tournament round 1: Group A2

Reminder, you don't have had to experience any of the attractions/experiences to vote! Just read in the info and/or watch the vid,then vote for which you wish you would have experienced more/which sounds cooler!

Videos and propaganda/info dumping under cut

ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter: Magic Kingdom (1994-2003)

Propaganda:

"Scared the everloving —- out of me as a kid, but I absolutely loved it. The atmosphere was incredible. Still mad it was basically put in the wrong park and would never survive there."

"I FUCKING love this attraction okay- Not only was it a pioneer in technology but it also was such a bold move for disney and really went to show that they could terrify people if they really wanted to. Also, the alien animatronic is cool, And there's a tim curry robot."

"personally designed by George Lucas"

"Please please please please please please please please please please please please"

"A big part of why this was shut down is the exact same reason as to what makes it great, and one of the most unique attractions of any disney park- The more mature theming, shown off with X-S Tech's blatant greed, hubris and downright maliciousness, and the overstimulating *horror* seen in the main teleportation chamber? I don't think we'll ever find in a newer ride again. Not to mention, the "deco tech" visual style found throughout is one of the coolest aesthetic blends I've ever seen!! And if all of that doesn't get you... Skippy will. Cutest animatronic this side of the galaxy, with a wonderful voice to boot. He's even got not one, not three, but Five different plush variants you could take home!! big, small, smaller, backpack or fanny pack- it's your choice :] "

Cinderella Castle Mystery Tour: Tokyo Disneyland (1986-2006)

Propaganda:

"Only park representation of the black cauldron"

Descriptions in English cut version:

Uncut full version:

Because I find this fascinating, here is also a info video on it: