#also what is hilarious and mildly concerning is how the kids are just like ‘she’s an adult she knows things’ and accept what im telling them

[essentiallychaotic]

Kiddo at work: why didnt they put details in the eyes??? Like they spend ALL THIS EFFORT carving FABRIC couldnt they give them PUPILS???

Me, looking up from my desk: Ancient Roman Statues used to be painted ________.

Kiddo: well, that makes sense. The plain white eyes are CREEPY

[lawlietscaramels]

It looks like asks are turned on! Can I request writing or, like, headcanons about how the death note characters laugh? I mean obvs there’s Kira’s silly evil laugh but what about pre-Kira light and L?

-🎲

Laugh a Little Louder ╾ Cast

AAA so asks here work!! yes. yesyeysyeye though the Wammy's kids may be ooc. See my various chats and notes for reason why but without further ado, here come the laughs!

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

L Lawliet 🍰

first off, he doesn't laugh very often.

memes? nothing. jokes? nothing. sarcasm? nothing. This doesn't mean he doesn't find any of these funny, he just doesn't have the urge to actually laugh.

but Light falling down the Task Force stairs? YES.

L finds other things funny too but there's just... something special about watching Light mess up...

if he's around people he trusts he's likely to laugh more, at super not funny things especially. for example, bad puns, horribly edited memes or videos, and dark jokes are high on the list. (I may or may not also find these things very funny)

anyway that got into when he laughs. as for HOW he laughs: it varies depending on how funny something is.

Mildly amusing? Dry chuckle. almost sounds like a cough or the engine of a car if that makes sense. sometimes he will say (with no change in tone whatsoever), "haha. that was quite amusing."

Hilarious? the man is cackling and wheezing.

high pitched, like a hyena...

Light Yagami 🖊️

you guys might hate me but

Light is a GIGGLER!!!

this kind of embarrasses him so he can usually make it sound more like a chuckle, this is also how he does fake-laughs when he's Kira and wants to hide the crazy-laughs.

I think he'd find animals and cute stuff worth a little laugh just because it's amusing and they bring joy to his life

that said I think Kira version of Light wouldn't laugh as much. He's under a lot of stress, he doesn't see the joy in life any more. Light is just there to fulfil his mission, to cleanse the world of evil, and he's so dedicated to this cause that he doesn't find time to appreciate the good that already exists in this world

damn that got sad for a post about laughter

uhhh anyway other people laughing inevitably sets Light off too, even as Kira he struggles not to laugh when L or Matsuda does. Misa's laughs, not so much of a problem. They just concern him...

Misa Amane 💝

hold on this is kind of hard actually...

you know what, I think she'd make other noises instead of actual "laughs."

such as squeaking, squawking, honking, all those funny words used to describe people who laugh but don't really laugh. shakes her head and sighs a lot at dad jokes but she secretly loooves them.

if she actually laughs it will be hahahahahhahaa-gasp-hahahhahahaha where it gradually gets higher pitched and the sound stops and she's just breathing in a squeaky manner. Misa will also start waving her body and arms back and forth like she's going to hit her knees, but only hits air.

sounds a little like she's dying tbh

Misa used to be embarrassed about her laugh when she was little, but she grew to learn it just means she's happy! so she likes it

though she would never laugh if she's livestreaming or anything like that, like Light she'd have a fake laugh (a typical girly giggle) for such occasions.

Touta Matsuda 🦆

this guy is like so normal help hahjajjajjasjsj

I think he would often like scream and then laugh (especially on roller coasters, watching horror movies, being jump-scared, all that)

wheezes a little, goes "oh God- oh God- no no stop-"

his stomach starts to hurt because if Matsu starts laughing he just like. does not stop. he goes into hysterics.

would end up rolling on the floor and struggling to breathe

"Matsuda it was just a bad bee pun, are you alright?" because he'd suddenly be set off by one silly thing like that and just be chuckling and laughing and all for the next few hours. and expect it to start again if someone makes the mistake of saying "bees" in the next few days

Okay but his mouth would go all squiggly like Charlie Brown's when he's trying to hold in a laugh.

shoving his bright red face into a pillow and trying not to scream in laughter, literally this man is DYING at every lame joke. he loves really long jokes too.

this guy is not actually so normal after all...

Near 🧸

like L, he does not laugh very often

unlike L, this statement is ONLY true for when he's in the company of others. when alone I think Near does a fair bit of laughing, though it's quiet

it's just the kind of vulnerability and genuine enjoyment that he only feels safe to express when he's alone...

anyway Near's laugh is a little rough like he's not used to doing it. he might chuckle for a while, or just let out a quick and sharp "HA!" if he's more startled into laughter. the first one is more private, the second he might let out a couple of times in company

I think Near would also lie in bed at night and just laugh at the ceiling. maybe especially if he's had a bad day. it makes him feel a little better and reminds him that there are good things in the world! Because when Near laughs he remembers the other things that have made him laugh

it's a sign he likes and trusts someone if he laughs with them

Near can also mimic lots of different kinds of laughs. I feel like he's a storyteller, even if he only tells the stories to himself, so this skill can come in very useful!

Mello 🍫

HE HAS AN EVIL VILLAIN LAUGH

less disturbing than Light's Kira laugh BUT IT'S STILL KIND OF SCARY IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE

but most people are quick to realise he's just laughing. laughing a little like a crazy person but it's easy to tell, if you take the time to observe, that he's just genuinely enjoying himself

Matt ALWAYS knows what to say to make Mello laugh

(Mello tries not to laugh at Matt though, mostly because he's a little ass who doesn't want to give him the satisfaction)

Actually, his laugh is kind of sweet to listen to in a way??

I don't know how to explain that and the villain-laugh headcanon fitting together but they do, just trust me. it may sound evil but it is super sweet

hahaha he thinks he's a badass his laugh sounds like he's a badass but somehow it's not badass at all.

The opposite of Near, he's more likely to laugh around others.

I think his favourite thing to laugh at is really bad movies. Just making fun of them, ridiculing the plot, and though some people thinks he sucks the fun out of it he finds it enjoyable

Matt 🚬

laughs often, doesn't GENUINELY laugh often.

he's a smoker right? well, I think that makes it clear that he's got a smoker's kind of laugh. he might end up coughing if he laughs too long

don't smoke kids

Matt's always had more of a throaty laugh though, he's a low chuckle kind of guy. unless he's tired or REALLY amused, in which case he'll cackle.

When typing he does a keyboard smash laugh: AJHSHAHAJAJA

I think he laughs at himself often. Matt in particular I haven't seen his dn appearances in years but I think he's a pretty chill guy most of the time, happy to give a laugh if someone insults his fashion taste.

not a headcanon but I wonder if a PC emoji would fit better...

Loves to make other people laugh too!! will lighten the mood or turn a chuckle into an uproar with a few really good bad jokes or a funny assortment of actions or impressions

He pokes fun at everyone and everything because when you take life too seriously, you don't enjoy it.

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

[emblazons]

what are your favorite byler headcanons?

—I never get asked this question, so thanks for being the first lmao. (I did write my “S5 hopes” before, but these are different I think?) Anyway. Hmmm.

While they both love Tolkien, Mike likes the Lord of the Rings trilogy books more, but Will enjoys the Hobbit best. Mike loves the depth of the lore and complexity of how Tolkien describes things in the original trilogy because they help him when he’s coming up with campaigns, but Will enjoys the straightforward (and a little sweeter) narrative of The Hobbit more—and also has a preference for it because the version he had as a kid was more image-heavy, and he’s an artist. :)

Speaking of Tolkien—Mike absolutely has a one-ring he keeps around his neck like Frodo. (It may even be what he chooses as an engagement ring way, way down the line, but Will is so outdone he decides to just buy it to wear it around his neck instead lol).

When it comes to getting work done, Mike is a think-out-loud type—as in, will talk to himself out loud and not even realize he’s doing it when alone, or with someone he’s comfortable getting into his head around. Will doesn’t say anything about it, because he thinks it’s hilarious—but Mike eventually learns about his own tendency when Will knows about a surprise he had planned before he can even do it…because he was thinking out loud. (He gets up in arms about how Will should have told him, but the more time passes, the funnier the tendency becomes to them).

Mike was hype as hell for the release of Jurassic Park in 1993. Will was also hype, but. Not nearly as excited about it as Mike was. When the Peter Jackson’s LOTR adaptation was announced, they were both over the moon (though Will was a bit scared. He is very picky about his movies, and adaptations even more so).

The two of them would settle in San Francisco, and would definitely be the ones who run a “teach DnD / campaign night” in conjunction with a comic book store in their neighborhood, in an attempt to keep the younger generations’ love for it alive—the same way as the bookstore owner who introduced them to the book. this is maybe based on an actual comicbook store with a dnd night in the SF Castro that I found a few years ago. The world may never know. They are thrilled in 2016 when a new Netflix show (😉) and Critical Role revives people’s love for it when they’re much, much older.

The first time the topic of “going to pride” comes up in the mid-90’s (long before it was the socially accepted event it is today), Will is mildly terrified—and so is Mike, but his “brave paladin” side absolutely talks himself up enough to get Will to join him solely out of a need to prove he can. They end up having a great time, and Mike, who has never really delved into queer history, ends up on a whole tangent of learning about it for an entire month afterward. Will finds it v endearing.

Mike sucks at poker because he cannot keep a single thing off his face. He is, however, really good at playing “the house” in card games, so that’s the role he takes on (comes from years of leading campaigns. He’s a bit of a showman that way).

Will cannot stand cold even after he’s disconnected from Vecna/the UD, and misses California—which is why they move back. When “global warming” talk starts becoming more common, his favorite dad joke to make is “if I think it’s getting hot, it must be,” but no one but the party & family know why it’s funny.

Earlier into their relationship, Will becomes a bit troubled by the fact that Mike is the only person he ever dated. It causes tension in their relationship for a little while, though Will eventually realizes he doesn't want to be with anyone else, so it doesn't matter. (Much later, Mike admits that he thought Will’s concerns were unfounded, considering the only person he ever dated outside of Will happened when he was 13 & probably shouldn’t have even been his girlfriend in the first place, given the fact that she was 3 seconds out of a lab…& he doesn’t even like women anyway).

Mike knows Will is healing more from “the events of the show” when Will starts making dark-humor jokes about being possessed and/or being lost in the upside down—though it takes him a lot to get used to it, given how scared he spent years being about losing Will. Eventually he gets on board and laughs—which Will appreciates, because it helps him to see Mike get less uncomfortable and feel safer about keeping Will safe after all that happened.

There are ten I could think of off top?? LMAO someone ask @magentamee what my other headcanons are I’m sure she’s heard them all by now 😂

Thanks so much for this ask!

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

While we're on the subject what do you think would have happened if it was Carlisle who came back after Bella's cliff diving? Maybe he happened to be closer to Forks or Alice was in another country and called him to go check on her (or whatever it was she hoped to accomplish by going to Forks) Would he nope out after seeing Bella's alive or would he stick around, become concerned about her wellbeing?

The post anon is referencing, where Rosalie comes back instead of Alice, things get hilarious and awkward. Edward never attempts suicide in Volterra.

So, Why Didn't Carlisle Come Back?

He didn't know.

For plot convenient reasons, he and Esme were out of the house at the time, and it was Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett by themselves.

Alice had her vision, heads down to Forks to see Bella's grave/catch the funeral, Rosalie decides to man up and tell Edward around the time that Alice reaches Forks.

(It probably takes her quite a few times to actually get a hold of Edward.)

I believe Carlisle is supposed to be absent from the time Alice gets the news until the Italy debacle is nearly over. He and Esme come back to everything on fire, Edward very likely to be executed for breaking the law in Volterra itself, and Edward having attempted suicide period.

By the time he gets there, it's known Bella's actually alive.

However, had he been home earlier, had he been there in the period where they thought Bella was in fact dead, I believe he would have travelled with Alice back to Forks.

Well, he would have tried to make the family come. This girl was important to Edward, important to their lives, of course they're showing up for the goddamn funeral.

Rosalie would throw a fit, Jasper would be an emotional wreck (likely feeling somehow complicit in all of this), Esme would be an emotional wreck for what this means for Edward, Emmett would be very awkward, and all in all Carlisle would wonder if, perhaps, he should have left the family at home.

Point being, Carlisle would absolutely have come back, but he probably would not have been alone.

But this is AU world, let's say he did.

Carlisle Returns Alone

His family is imploding, he leaves them behind, he'll tell them when the funeral is.

Alice doesn't come with him because Edward has to be told and Alice is the best one to do it. Alice really doesn't want to, but Carlisle insists, no, Edward has to know and best it comes from Alice who was her best friend.

And Rosalie, bless her heart, lacks the tact.

(Rosalie is mildly offended but agrees, probably best Alice does it).

So Carlisle returns alone, opens the door, "Oh, hello Bella."

Carlisle gets to awkwardly explain that, you see, Alice thought you had died. Neither he nor Bella have any explanation for this. Jake, meanwhile, wants Dr. Cullen out and is giving his "how dare you speech"

Unlike Rosalie, Carlisle sticks around and finds out the awful truth.

Bella is being hunted by vampires, the town of Forks is under siege by Victoria, and apparently the presence of vampires triggers the wolf transformation and so now half the Quileute tribe under the age of 18 is a shape shifter and it's all his family's fault.

Oh, and Bella did just attempt suicide, but isn't admitting it. She just likes jumping off cliffs now because, well, she might be hallucinating Edward? That's normal, right?

Carlisle goes to stand in a corner and breathe in a paper bag.

Carlisle goes into emergency mode.

He gives Bella the pep talk of a lifetime and explains why the family left and what they were trying to accomplish with this. He gets the not so good details of exactly how Edward broke up with her. He returns to breathing in a bag.

Then he gets the phone call.

Alice... may have fucked up.

Edward didn't take the news well, he's decided to kill himself in Volterra, and the only way to stop him is if Bella Swan shows up to stop him in person.

Carlisle speed dials Aro, Aro is delighted to hear from his old friend, except that the conversation is Carlisle's stressed screaming. Carlisle gives Aro the fast version: he's made a coven, his son is coming to ask for assisted suicide, he has a human girlfriend (yes, Carlisle knows, no he doesn't like it, THAT'S NOT THE POINT, ARO) Carlisle asks, for the love of god, stall Aro and Carlisle will be there as soon as he can (yes, with the human girlfriend).

Aro is delighted at the prospect of seeing Carlisle but also a little weirded out. Alright, Carlisle, he'll pretend to humor this Edward and stall him.

So, Aro does, and he does it with magnificence. The throne room is filled with incense, Aro is back in Myceenaen garb, and the only light is from candles. The ambiance is spectacular.

While the Volturi will not assist Edward's suicide, they will grant him a wish, should he pass through the Volturi's three trials. Only then will he be worthy of the highest and most ancient honors.

Edward eats this up. HE IS READY FOR HIS TRIALS.

The first is a trial of strength, he must wrestle Caius and win. Well, unfortunately, he loses. Aro tells Caius that he has to let Edward win, if he gets too frustrated, there's no telling what this kid will do. Caius refuses to lose to this punk.

Aro has to bribe him.

This continues up until Carlisle and Bella finally arrive.

Carlisle gets to witness the madness that is Aro and Edward playing chess in this room filled with incense and candles. Aro abruptly calls everything off and gives the three some privacy.

Carlisle has had the world's worst day and lays into Edward. Edward's processing Bella's alive, human, and that nothing is going his way. It's a giant mess.

Aro returns and goes, "So, onto the real trouble, Bella Swan is human."

Unfortunately, Alice isn't there with them, so Aro doesn't have his out. Aro concludes that Bella Swan will be turned in Italy, though she may leave afterwards with Carlisle and Edward.

As for this Victoria situation, well, Aro and associates will keep an eye on it.

Edward loses his shit. With Carlisle right there. Carlisle gets to witness Edward's Full Edward mental breakdown.

It's a disaster and the flight home from Volterra is the most awkward thing in the world.

However, because the law was enacted and Bella didn't return home human, Caius is much more appeased. He still doesn't like Carlisle, and certainly not Edward, but he's no longer concerned Aro lacks the will to enforce his own laws.

The plot of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn do not happen.

Bella and Edward likely do not end up together, as Edward is eaten alive by guilt at having been responsible for Bella now being a vampire. This makes Bella miserable, but such is life.

At least she's a Cullen now.

[in-tua-deep]

Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!

here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS

no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission

So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well

please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel

the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.

So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"

and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"

"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"

"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"

This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.

Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable

So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon

Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."

Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"

meanwhile with the siblings

Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations

Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"

the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh

Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic

Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."

"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.

"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."

"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."

"I'm adopted." Five waves away.

"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?

"I'm double adopted."

However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.

Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?

Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that

Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful

Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"

Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends

Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes

Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.

I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot

Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?

"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."

Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly

Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"

(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)

"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.

"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.

It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze

Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.

So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?

and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"

"Your DAD?"

Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.

Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone

Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick

Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well

Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much

honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"

[sonderthroughthestreets]

Hi! Idk what came over me but I thought an AU where Sander’s kid is anti-Bowie was the most hilarious thing thanks to @hidden-joy @kylesbishops and @sanderijzermans so I wrote it skdjdj

Disclaimer: it’s all fun and chaos and I don’t really know anything about how to write kids

x, x, x, x, credit to the chaos 🤪

The day Sander Driesen hears the words come out of his child’s mouth is the day he wonders if this is his child at all.

He’s standing there, leather jacket, white t-shirt and all, bleached hair icy even in the summer sun, and he looks down at the small stature in front of him. Grey-green eyes, dark locks and an air of confidence that could only be learned from a certain music-loving individual fill his sight. There’s so much innocence standing before him but a driven insistence breaks through the words spoken.

“Dad,” he hears. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but...I don’t really like David Bowie all that much.”

Sander thinks he’s lost his senses. He is definitely not hearing right. Hell, he’s only a man in his early thirties, he could not be this hard of hearing already. He tries to brace himself on the couch from falling over. Shit, he’s also too young to feel this frail.

“Wh-what do you mean you don’t like David Bowie all that much?”

The question comes out in gasps of air, ragged and winded, like he can’t believe what’s happening. He feels like his world’s spinning, like he’s entered another dimension, like there was no way, absolutely no way, his child doesn’t like David Bowie.

Denial is a pretty powerful thing, though...

See, when Alexandra Driesen was born, she brought light and life to Sander and Robbe’s eyes. She had a chubby face and squishy cheeks and eyes the colour of a summer storm. Her dark hair had been a blessing to match Robbe’s. Everything about her was as perfect as it could get. And then came the perpetual frustrations of parenthood with the screaming and the crying.

Sleep was something to be cherished at the Driesen-Ijzermans household. A few day-naps here and a doze-off there. But God, oh God, did Alexandra know how to cry in the middle of the night. Robbe and Sander spent hours upon hours holding her and swaying her and rocking her on a chair. Sander had read that sometimes music helps so he’d even done all that. Bowie usually floated in the shriek-filled room during these times and yet, Alexandra just wept.

“Come on, baby, just a little bit of sleep. Don’t you get tired of screaming all night?” Sander asked in that exhausted tone of parentese. He held her against the crook of his neck and walked around in sweats until he saw Robbe enter the room with blood-shot eyes and curls disarrayed.

“She’s still crying?” he asked with a rasp in his voice.

“She literally won’t stop and I don’t know what to do, I’ve tried everything. I’ve even got Bowie on for her,” he said.

Robbe took her from his arms and swayed her a little, cooing and kissing her tiny head.

“It’s kind of loud, though,” Robbe said to him as he then stepped over to turn off the music.

And in an instant miracle, the house was all quiet.

It seems that’s what’s always happened and Sander just hadn’t noticed it. Alexandra settled into Robbe’s chest and stretched her mouth in a heavy yawn. Her warmth radiated and glowed through Robbe, but Sander was stunned. He’s completely shocked.

“You-she-“ he stuttered clumsily for a bit. “But it was Bowie,” he said weakly.

How could his own daughter not feel at peace with Bowie? It was a connection he held with him, something connecting him and Robbe and what he hoped would connect their child to them in this little family.

“Hmmm,” Robbe hums pensively. “Maybe Bowie’s not her thing.”

“Not her thing?” Sander just about exploded. Then he suddenly remembered Alexandra’s finally gone to sleep and whispered, seething. “That is not our child!”

“Biologically, no. Legally and emotionally, yes,” smirked Robbe. “Calm down, babe, she’ll learn to like him soon enough. For now, how about we hold off on Bowie for a bit, yeah?”

He swayed her just a little more, just to really make sure she’s easing into sleep and then set her gently back down in her crib.

“How long?” Sander muttered and Robbe gave him a confused look. “How long without Bowie?”

Robbe contemplated.

“Maybe we give it six months or so,” he said.

And now it was Sander who wanted to weep. -

As the months and years went on, Alexandra had gone on without her Bowie-loving phase, only mildly being interested in the lightning bolt plushies and the songs blasting on road trips and the shirts Sander would get for her. Robbe says it just takes time for kids to get into stuff. That it’s better to leave it there in the open for them than to shove it down their throats.

“It’s barely any shoving,” Sander had grumbled.

“I know, babe. But I know how you can get sometimes,” Robbe had placed a soothing kiss upon his lips.

Still, Sander’s worries were increasingly growing.

Then a few years later, they’d adopted another beautiful girl. Mia was a radiant vision of blonde curls and brown eyes. They held a similar warmth that Robbe’s eyes held and Sander couldn’t be happier to lose himself in pools of coffee or dark, earthy soils or any other sort of metaphor for his favourite kind of brown.

To his relief, though, Mia loved listening to Bowie. She loved playing with the lightning bolt plushy and wearing all the shirts and as she grew, she and Sander had lots of music jam sessions blasting Bowie throughout the house. Alexandra was enticed into joining for a bit in the beginning but as time went on, Sander found it that she was making more and more excuses to not be in the same room when Bowie was mentioned.

“Uh, I got homework, Dad,” she’d nervously run her fingers through her hair.

“Uh, Papa needs help with dinner I think,” she’d run out with a tight smile.

“Group project due soon. Léon’s being a piece of shit and not pulling his weight at all.”

“Language,” Robbe would chastise coming around the corner.

“He’s being a dick?” she suggested.

“Fuck him.”

“Sander!”

“Sorry.”

Her interests lay instead in skateboarding with her friends, headphones in her ears listening to rap: BROCKHAMPTON and Stormzy with even a little Ed Sheeran in the mix, and keeping her hair as short as possible. She’d had a bit of a habit wearing overgrown shirts like Robbe did. But Sander found that endearing and he didn’t really think it was a case of ‘not-like-other-girls’ syndrome. He and Robbe just let her wear whatever she wanted.

And in fact, it was at thirteen years of age that Alexandra came out to the family as a boy. Sander remembers it clearly with them all huddled on the couch looking at the person in front of them with beady eyes, waiting.

“Dad, Papa, Mia. I think I’m a boy. I think I’m trans and I’d like to formally introduce myself to you all. I’m Alexander, or just Alex. And I use he/they pronouns.”

Sander had wanted to tear up, emotions flooding inside his rib cage. Happy tears, though, a joyous occasion where his son felt comfortable enough to tell them about this part of himself. That he and Robbe had created a space where he felt safe enough. Loved enough.

“I kept Alexander ‘cause, Sander,” he gestured to Sander. “But really, Alex is fine.”

And Sander wanted to cry all over again.

They’d all been encased in a huge family hug with Mia chirping that she’d ‘always wanted a big brother.’

Robbe and Sander had been quite supportive of it all, calling the school to change both the name and preferred name and asking if Alex was considering wearing a binder or getting a proper haircut. “Yes” to the haircut. “Hold off for a bit” on the binder. He’d whined a “Daaaaaad” when Sander ruffled the short brown locks. Most of Alex’s friends were cool with it, too and while it wasn’t all smooth sailing, he’d never run out of love from his family.

It was a big change and everything, but Sander thought, well...as long as he had his Bowie-loving children, it was all fine. -

It’s his worst nightmare. It’s the stuff that haunts you from the depths of the worst kind of hell, making your limbs feel like jelly. He’s cursing every name and divine entity and he’s really hoping Robbe’s right about those parallel universes because he’d love to hop over to the one where this wasn’t happening right now.

Sander’s having a hard time even looking at Alex in the eye.

“Dad?” he hears his concerned voice.

“I think I need to sit down,” says Sander, grabbing the armrest of the couch, lowering himself onto the cushion.

“It’s really not a big deal,” says Alex.

“Not a big deal?” Sander looks at him with wide eyes. “My own son hates David Bowie.”

“I never said I-“

“The man who infinitely changed my life. Space Oddity, Life on Mars, Ziggy Stardust, Ashes to Ashes. None of them?” Sander waves his arms. “You’re telling me you like none of them?”

“They’re...fine, I guess,” Alex shrugs innocently with a cringe to his face.

“Fine?” Sander squeaks.

“What’s fine?” Robbe trudges to them overhearing the conversation.

“Your son hates Bowie,” Sander squints his eyes at him.

“I do not,” says Alex. “I’m just pretty indifferent to him. He’s not exactly my style,” he shrugs, his hoodie moving with the movement.

“And what is your style?” Robbe laughs as he comes up behind him to rub his shoulders. He looks up at Sander with long lashes and a questioning smile stretching across his face. They share one of those ‘parenting looks.’ The ones where they know it’s not all that serious. But Sander thinks it is.

“A bit of rap, a bit of hip hop, some pop, some mainstream,” Alex lists off. “Not exactly the ‘80s vibes in me,” he laughs.

Robbe cheers as their tastes in music are quite similar and he proceeds to carry out their very own handshake they’d created when Alex was nine. There’s a different one with Sander. Sander, who’s getting more and more agitated by this revelation.

“Oh, okay,” he pats his knees and stands up. “Well, if you two are having such a grand time hating Bowie and bonding over your own music, I’ll just take myself and leave. No child of mine doesn’t like David Bowie,” he says dramatically.

“Sander…” Robbe looks at him.

“Dad…” says Alex.

“No, no. It’s fine. Really,” he begrudgingly walks out of the living room, almost knocking into Mia on the way.

“What’s with him?” she blinks twice and points a finger back.

Robbe sighs as he looks back at Alex.

“Your father, he…” Robbe puts a hand on his shoulder. “Bowie’s practically his life and so are the two of you, so I guess it’s really important to him that you like him, too. He’s just gonna need some time with all this.”

His eyes are apologetic and he gives him a half-smile, hand leaving his shoulder.

Alex takes in the words while Mia wiggles herself onto the couch and finds the tv remote beside her.

“You finally told him about Bowie, huh?” she gives him a gravely sad look. One that says he’s about to be doomed.

Alex just lets out a stressed breath as Robbe follows to go find Sander.

What’s so special about David Bowie anyway?

————————————————————————

Part 2 is coming! IM SO SORRY SKDJJF I just need sleep and rest

[cinderspots]

MIA WINTERS AU [PT. 3]

[PT. 1] [PT. 2]

Included: Mia Winters, Rosemary Winters, Mother Miranda, Alcina Dimitrescu, Bela Dimitrescu, Cassandra Dimitrescu, Daniela Dimitrescu

So after they deal with Eva pulling a persephone, Miranda takes Mia to meet the danger bugs and Alcina.

Donna's :( but Mia promises to come back so it's all good

Rose now likes Angie even though shes feral af and tries to bite her

Anyways

They go over to the castle and Mia thinks over the last few months and finally comes back to the reason she was sent to Donnas

Haha killed the father of my child for my technical paramour.

And she works herself up all over again and Miranda is just as bad as she was at the start so shes hoping Danielas home

Or Bela

Bc let's be real Alcina and Cassandra are worse than Miranda when it comes to humans

So they show up and not even ten seconds in does Cassandra materialize and tackle Mia, thinking shes food

Miranda legit whacks her on the head like a dog

Its hilarious

The whole family arrives and Bela tilts her head and recognizes Mia somehow

And then Mia is like: Hiii I was married to the dude that tried to murder you all, what's your name?

Yeah that didnt go down well

Alcina was ten seconds from just chop chop, oopsies she ded

Miranda stepped in and like explained in much better terms than Mia and then everyone was happy

Sort of

Cassandra was banned from going within twenty feet of Mia so she was in a pissy mood

And Mia went out of her way to get as close as possible so she'd get yelled at

Bela realised this first and immediately liked Mia more for it

Cassandra just had middle child syndrome the entire time

Daniela was cracking up when she realized it

Eventually Alcina realized Mia was being a lil shit and just walked away so then Mia had to like

Run

Miranda was sitting with the kids like: ayo I dont know how to do this help

So then Alci babysat the kids for a while and immediately was like, I am the wine aunt, fight me on that I dare you

Nobody fought her on that

Eventually Mia just fuckin pulled a lil stunt

An easy one

Not at all worrisome

Look Mia's stupid in stressful situations

She jumped out a window

Miranda almost died when she saw that omfg she got so panicked-

Alci just stared in utter awe at her idiocy

Bela was mildly concerned

Cassandra was not

Cassandra was full ass cackling

It was great

I lied it wasnt

Mia had a broken leg and Miranda was livid with her for that

This headcannon turned to crack so quickly wth

Then Mia bonded with everyone

Alci with the I'm a mom and I would like sleep but that's never happening because LOOK AT MY CHILDREN

Bela over sciencey shit

Cassandra over the horrifying events in her life

She basically just told her about Lousiana and Cassandra just loved the pain

Daniela and her books

Mia hates Twilight because that series is garbage, but she reads it purely because she is out of ideas with Daniela

And then everyone is just like

So if your dating(??) our (grand)mother, then are you also our (grand)mother???

And that was a whole thing tbh

Mia banned the word grandmother and all its relative names

Miranda was secretly like thank me bc I hate that they apparently called me that

Shes still very narcissistic let's be real

And then Mia was just chilling

Then Rose made a vaguely violent gesture and horrifyingly Cassandra decided she was gonna teach her some skills

That was a whole nother thing

But Mia checked out and made Miranda stop her

So :p

[allaboardtheussharringrove]

So @billy-baby mentioned That 70’s Show and Harringrove, and it reminded me of a *whole ass* set of hc’s about a 70’s/Stranger Things AU that has been sitting in my notes for literal years collecting dust, so here it is:

-Billy & Hyde would be besties, probably neighbours in the same shitty neighbourhood

-They headbang to hard rock and metal, jam to 60’s & 70’s rock while drinking TONS of beer and hotboxing the Camaro and El Camino, respectively

-Bands they’d have in common: AC/DC, Black Sabbath & Ozzy Osbourne, Scorpions, KISS, Judas Priest, Van Halen, and Led Zeppelin just to name a couple

-Hyde always gives Billy shit for like, never wearing a shirt, Billy gives Hyde shit for his ever-present sunglasses & sideburns

-They know each other’s parental problems, and take refuge in the Forman’s basement/the empty Harrington house (yes, we’re talkin’ a Hawkins, Indiana/Point Place, Wisconsin mashup here)

-Billy still has a major crush on Steve (Harrington that is, Steven Hyde will only be referred to as Hyde [and that possible name mix-up could cause some hilarity whenever anyone calls out “Steven”, and some embarrassing rumour drama for Billy, Steve, & Hyde (or omg a block party at the Formans where Kitty calls out “William! Steven! Michael!” And she turns around and has Billy, Will, Hyde, Steve, Mike, and Kelso starting at her expectantly)])

-Billy probably also thinks Eric and Kelso are kinda cute, but total dumbasses, they both definitely annoy him

-Fez would have a totally awkward and hilarious crush on Billy, and you just know Billy would flirt with him on purpose just to make him nervous (this might make Steve a lil jealous and annoy him to no end)

-Jackie would have the BIGGEST crush on Steve, after Kelso, and drag him around to go shopping and shit, he would tolerate it but Billy would absolutely hate her as a “bitchy rich entitled snot-nosed brat” cause she would be vocal about him being poor and he’d have to be calmed down by Hyde and Steve all the time

-Billy would give Hyde an unimaginable amount of shit for going out with Jackie, hooo boy!

-Steve would get a kick outta Kelso, but I think he and Eric would be pretty close friends, with Steve always pushing to hang around at the Forman’s cause Eric’s parents are always present, as opposed to his empty house (he adores Kitty Forman for SURE as the mother he never had)

-But the gang would surely hold parties at the Harrington’s....and only sometimes get away with it (both these groups are known for their KEGS! and the 70’s teens would lose their damn minds over Keg Kings Billy & Steve)

-Billy would put the charm on for Kitty sometimes just to see her blush, and Red would get annoyed and just a little threatening saying something like “Like to see how charming you are with my foot up your ass” and Billy being the abused kid that he is automatically takes it a little too seriously- probably flinches, goes a little pale, stutters out a “Yes sir, sorry sir”

-This would make Kitty and Red a bit concerned, pay a visit to the Hargrove household- I wouldn’t be surprised if they experience Neil putting Billy down or catch a glimpse of a smack or something and they would for sure take action with Red intimidating Neil cause you know he could

-Anyway! Girls. Robin and Donna would be THE BEST FRIENDS EVER, cause Donna had no other cool girl friend to hang out with and you just KNOW Robin might have an “itsy bitsy” (huge) crush on Donna, cause she’s Hot Donna, also they’re both super into female empowerment (and honestly, when Donna/Eric break up I could see her maybe falling for Robin too)

-Donna and Billy would be buds, she might like him for a hot minute but be cool with him being gay (Out of everyone in the 70’s gang, I think he’d most likely share this with her - cause she’d probably figure it out - even if it’s just to gush about their dumb, brave, pretty brunette boys to each other)

-Max would LOVE Donna, not just because of the hair (but also redhead solidarity is important), but because they’re both badasses and would totally vibe together- Max, Billy, and Donna would be an unexpectedly fun trio (and Billy would complain about having to drive the “GingeTwins” around all the time or something to that effect)

-And Jackie having to babysit Erica (because Donna does it sometimes, but she’s out for the night) would be the best thing ever good lord, Erica would put Jackie in her place, but they’d probably make up some schemes together too

-Also Erica would be absolutely appalled at having a similar name to Eric, she’d probably call him something along the lines of “Supreme Nerd” or “King of the Nerds” and have an endless supply of unimpressed looks for him during their debates of whose name is better

-Eric would totally join Mike, Will, Lucas & Dustin in their nerd exploits (STAR WARS!) And he and Dustin would get into loooong nerd debates

-I think Kelso would join Dustin & Lucas (and maybe the other boys too) in doing mischievous experiments including but not limited to: pyrotechnics, wrist rockets, radios and electronics... He’d begrudgingly listen to the scientific explanations of the boys (which would all fly right over his head) and they would have a moderate success rate, but also have to run away from the trouble they’d get in

-Lucas and Hyde would always be cool, but after finding out about Hyde’s biological dad they could become closer (Hyde’s dad and Lucas would have the best banter)

-Will and Eric would geek out over comics, and I think Eric would be super nice/supportive about seeing Will’s drawings

-Jonathan would be pretty quiet at first, but might talk to Fez since they’re both kinda the odd man out in each group (and he’d be genuinely NICE to Fez, *side eyes 70’s teens*)- then he’d be roped into doing random/stupid/mildly illegal stuff with the gang

-And despite Billy & Hyde being besties, I think Jonathan would bond with Hyde over shitty dads (plus I think Hyde would love Joyce, and she’d be another offer of refuge for him & Billy) and WEED WEED WEED

-Actually that might definitely be a sub-trio: Jonathan, Billy, & Hyde- they’d all have each other’s backs when it came to family drama (and later on when Hyde gets his record store, he’d offer them both jobs and Jonathan would be over the fuckin’ moon and work there)

-Billy would for sure work for Red in his muffler shop, and Red would take him under his wing, probably unwittingly become the father figure Billy never had.

-Nancy, hmmm, well she’s on the richer side of town so her and Jackie might be friends? but she’d for sure get annoyed with Jackie’s shallow bullshit

-OH and Robin would also hate Jackie I think, ‘cause of her entitlement and relentless obsession with boys (poor Jackie, I’m not setting her up for anything great here huh)

-So that’d be why Steve is friends with her, if only ‘cause he feels bad when she alienates herself from the rest of the teens, they (and I hate to say this) *could possibly* date for like 5 minutes, it’d be a REALLY hard time for Billy...and Kelso. And those two would probably come up with some hairbrained scheme to break them up (and succeed, but each get ripped a new one because of it)

-But at least the group of teen girls would be bigger if Donna, Robin, Jackie, and Nancy all hung out together sometimes (and if they tried to have a sleepover or something there would be toooo many idiot boys trying to creep on them, I think Billy would be the voice of reason and tell them they’re all being dickheads)

-And he’d give Fez a fuck ton of shit for being such a voyeuristic creep, probably make him stop hiding in people closets (wait what? Fez is like constantly coming out of closets in that show?! hello?? is that a thing??? Oh ho-ho they’d have a whole talk about that)

-Steve would get a kick outta Fez, probably think he was the funniest dude on the planet, as I’d say they’re the goofballs of the group (and yes, I am mostly excluding the King Steve narrative from this and using only cool mom Steve, cool? cool.)

-Steve might also have a lil crush on Donna, (‘cause a strong personality and blue eyes is like his kink, we all know this) but Eric would throw a fit about that and then they’d be all buddy-buddy discussing Donna & Billy (I think Eric being kind of a dumbass about his own gay kiss might put Steve off for a bit [and make Billy super hesitant and real pissed], but I also think Eric would be cool with hearing Steve out about his big bisexuality-discovery-adventure)

-Donna and Eric trying set Steve and Billy up by saying they’re all gonna hang out, and then like locking Billy/Steve in a room together or something and leaving😈

-When Billy/Steve’s relationship comes out, Hyde’s reaction is probably “That’s cool, man” Kelso would make some corny statement about how hot *he* is, Fez would probably fangirl over it with big ole heart eyes, Jackie would be like “weird, whatever”, Kitty would get flustered and then overly excited about it after a while, Red would be uncomfortable but okay with it saying something like “I better not catch you two dumbasses doing anything in my house”

-Ohmygod, Red as a father figure to Billy, Kitty as a mother figure to Steve, and they end up being so supportive of the boys ‘cause they have to put up with so much parental shit (say what you want, but the Formans have compassion) and they convert their house/backyard into a little private prom for the whole gang just so Billy/Steve can dance together and be themselves

-Billy, Steve, and Robin would die laughing every time they saw/talked to Leo. And I feel like Robin would talk her way into a job at the Photo Hut and then just end up being the manager and hires Jonathan herself to do the developments

-And you know how Hyde is always punching Kelso in the arm? Well he’d always get one, and Billy would punch the other arm as he’d classify Kelso a special kind of idiot, they’d always be teasing Kelso together, but Billy (and Steve I’m sure) would have some wicked BURNS that Kelso would love

-Steve and Kelso as friends? Sure, pretty boys gotta stick together~ especially when Steve gets called that by Billy, and then Kelso insists he’s a prettier boy, and Billy either rolls his eyes or flirts aggressively cause Kelso doesn’t understand WHY that’s Steve’s nickname, and it’s a whole can of worms you guys

-(And I didn’t forget about El, I’m just not quite sure where she fits in this AU... she probably doesn’t have powers and is the new kid who moves into town cause of a bad home life, she’d befriend Max in school and then I think Donna would take her under wing, then she’d be a hit with the teen gang cause she’d break her quietness with witty comments/one-liners, and since she’s very intuitive still, she gravitates towards Billy & Hyde and there would be some touching heart-to-hearts about shitty parental situations followed immediately after by inappropriate offers of beer to which she responds with a firm “gross”)

-And finally, *the Circle* would be so much bigger and funnier with the Stranger Teens in it

[georgescatcafe]

vermillion — 1

rating: t warning/s: period-typical homophobia pairing/s: georgenap genres/tags: cowboy x city boy au, rancher sapnap, rich george, coming of age, slow burn word count: 3,152 summary: When Sapnap gets sent into the city to get quick cash for his family’s struggling ranch, he’s not expecting much from the experience—lights aren't very blinding when held up to the Sun, and he's not exactly there to play around. But then he meets George, a boy built on money, who quickly sweeps in not just paying customers but also Sapnap, leading him into what any ruddy country boy would call the mouth of the Devil: high society. Cue a summer spent by each other’s side while feelings run unbidden, uncaring of deadlines and restraints.

It should be enough for the pair—and for awhile, it is, right up until it isn’t.

+ao3 +masterpost

;;

PART I

1994

Going to the city alone isn’t too different from going with his Pa. The drive there is mild, skies blue, sunny, fields on both sides of his muddied pickup stretching out endless and golden, ready to be cut down. Nick is sixteen now, old enough to head to the market on his own, license shiny and new, brain bright and sharp. He’s been preparing for this, and now it’s time for him to show off what he knows.

He had thought the 80s were bad, his dad cursing some figurative Big Man (Nick’s pretty sure he just meant the government) and constantly pushing hard on the ranch to make ends meet. They aren’t farmers, their neighbors having it way harder than they could, but it was rough, and it’s still rough—everything is so expensive, so now Nick is their last hope, Pa working the ranch, son sent off to the city to try and get some immediate cash. It’s hard to deny freshly cut steaks.

They’ve got horses too, pretty ones, some sold to be racers, but mostly pretty ones. Nick’s been planning to propose they start some summer thing, parents bringing their kids to the ranch to ride the horses, get the wind in their hair from something other than a car with its windows down. Not this year, though. (The highway sign tells him his exit is in two miles. Nick focuses back on the road.) This year, he’s busy.

;;

Pulling into the market’s parking lot, Nick doesn’t feel blinded. Really, opening the truck door finds him with a lungful of stink, and his thoughts are drowned out by the honking of horns and shouting of pedestrians. He thinks he hears a bell tower in the distance—does this city have a college?—but he can’t be sure.

It’s nothing glamorous.

Rounding his truck, he gets the coolers out the back, gets the papers too, lists of cows they’ve got, some horses, sheep, goats. Pa wants to get rid of them, but Ma likes to make sweaters. The sheep can be costly, but sweaters cost others, so Nick guesses it all balances out. They’re not getting rid of any chickens this year, but Nick’s two coolers definitely have some plucked birds. He blinks, remembering the eggs. He’s got some of those to sell too, and they don’t even need to be refrigerated. He’ll get them later.

Finding his shop is easy. The signs pointing out where everything is are all done in a looping, confusing cursive, so Nick forgoes reading them to just follow the sight of flannel and the smell of smoking meat. And there it is. A booth, the sign above it not in cursive (thank God) and declaring the name of their ranch in bold. Once Nick’s got all his things in place, he comes to stand proudly at it. PAPPAS RANCH above, Nick Pappas below.

Things go a lot slower after that. People don’t really flock to him, people don’t even come up to him. If anyone does, it’s at a meandering pace, like the wind might’ve pushed them more than them deciding to look. It’s a little humiliating, but Nick does his best to sell what he can. He’s not really concerned about the meat, and the animals are all still alive and fine on the ranch, but he is concerned about cash, and he knows they need it. Customers are vital. There just… aren’t any.

He leans back on his heels, surveying the marketplace. It’s quaint, kind of cute. Not as rugged and rough as the one in town, more proper-looking. To be expected. He people-watches. The people are people. No one is particularly interesting. Another customer is blown towards him. Nick sells them a couple twelve-ounce filets. He pays a little more attention after that.

Still, that’s the only big purchase he gets, and he tries not to let it sit on his mind too heavily when he heads back to his truck, coolers and folder and cash in hand. The night is warm, and he’s grateful for it when he settles in the bed of his pickup. In hope of saving some money, he’d turned down his parents’ offers of a hotel, the reluctance of giving up cash clear on his dad’s face anyway, so now Nick is left to sleep in his truck bed, surrounded by coolers and tarp and blankets. When he rolls over, he winces. He’d put the cash in a little safe then tucked that little safe under his makeshift bed. It sticks out uncomfortably underneath him. Oh well. He literally made his bed. Now he’s lying in it.

;;

Morning comes before he’s ready for it, and he finds himself glaring at the Sun as it creeps over the horizon, taunting him with cotton candy skies and sweet birdsong. The night wasn’t much better, with the safe in his back, with the city still awake long after the market closed. Despite his exhaustion from the drive, from standing, sleep did not come easily, and Nick feels the effects of that as he sets up shop all over again, goes to the market’s little bathroom installed down the way to change clothes, to splash water on his face. He groans when he remembers his toothbrush, still in his truck. He goes to get it anyway.

So, his start is a little slow, so what? Nick ties his bandana tighter around his head when he reaches his booth, double-checking his inventory before smiling at the woman who runs the booth across from his. She tips her hat at him in return.

There’s more people coming around today, which is good, and it makes sense. It’s a Thursday, which, while it isn’t the weekend, it’s getting there, and Nick eagerly anticipates it.

He makes a deal for one of their cows, sells some filets, some chicken thighs and veal—it’s a better day. He’s hesitant to call it good.

;;

Like the day before, Friday comes bright and early, uncomfortably so. He climbs out of his truck, gets his things—the whole rinse, wash, repeat. And then he’s back at his booth, saying hello to the woman across, again she tips her hat, and he’s drumming his fingers on the tabletop.

Nothing.

Nick takes a breath, holds it, lets it out. Things are fine. He’s fine. Rome wasn’t built in a day; Pappas Ranch doesn’t sell their entire inventory in two. It’s fine.

It’s still early, a whole day ahead, and though Nick braces himself for disappointment, he tries not to let it show, still standing tall beneath the sign above his booth. He just needs to be approachable, smile, be the charming boy his Pa raised him to be.

It works when two women walk by, mother and daughter, probably, arms linked, the two of them chatting only to stop at Nick’s booth, the mother smiling politely at him and daughter waving. “We’re having guests over tonight,” the mother says.

“How many?” Nick asks. And the deal goes through.

And it works with an older man, eating only for himself, but wanting to stock up for the weekend. A full guys’ thing. But it’s just him. Nick tells him he gets it, and he’s a few chickens shorter, a rack of lamb ribs gone.

It’s around lunch that things slow down, leaving Nick mildly surprised, but not entirely annoyed, as he uses his own pocket change to get some fruit from a farmer in another section, and an elderly woman three booths down gives him a little bit of smoked pork free of charge. It’s a meager, but good lunch. He’s leaning up against the wall, apple in hand, surveying the business still going on, when he spies someone who looks his age, hair a dark brown, eyes the same, dressed a bit more upscale for a market, even if this market is in the city. Nick pushes himself off the wall when the boy makes his way over to him. It’s a very deliberate walk, and Nick stands straighter for it, not showing off or anything, more like sizing up the competition—the competition for or on what, only Nick’s subconscious knows.

“Pappas Ranch,” the boy reads, and Nick almost laughs at the accent coloring his words. “Are you Papa?”

And the question is so reasonable yet so absurd, spun wonky with the accent, that it makes Nick laugh and reply with a name not quite right either: “Nah, I’m Sapnap.”

It’s such an… outdated name, given to him as a kid by an enthusiastic pen pal and then latched onto by his parents, fading out of fashion the moment he hit double-digits, when he started working his way up the ranch. The name is dumb too, zero sense without context, still stupid even with it, and he feels every bit of its stupidity when the boy studies him, unamused.

“Sapnap?” The word comes slow off his tongue, and Nick resists the urge to flush a bright red.

“Yeah, what about it?” He plants his feet firmer in the ground, wanting to shift from foot to foot but refusing. Refuses to take back the name too.

“Sounds dumb.”

Nick stutters out some excuse that falls flat before straightening. “What’s your name then, hotshot?”

“George,” and oh, isn’t that hilarious? Talk about outdated.

“My name might be stupid, but at least it isn’t lame as hell!”

George, of course, doesn’t like that, and that fact makes Nick grin, eyes growing wild when George grips the edge of the table between them to lean forward. “Fuck off.” Their noses nearly touch.

“This is my booth,” Nick replies.

“My city,” George shoots back, and Nick stops himself from rolling his eyes.

“It’s a city.” Nick raises a brow when George merely huffs, leaning against the booth. He spies the apple in Nick’s hand, and Nick fights back the urge to hide it, possessive. “What?” It’s his lunch. What about it? Workers eat too. Not that someone like George would know that. Nick gives him a cursory once over that George ignores, still focused on the fruit.

“Where’d you get that?” George asks. “It looks fresh.”   

“It is,” Nick points towards the booth he got it from, “over there. Everything here is fresh, dumbass.”

“What time is it?”

“Noon, I reckon.”

George studies him, still leaning against the booth, head coming closer and closer to Nick’s the longer he stares. “Your lunch?” Both of his hands now press down on the table between them, fingers splayed. His nails are short but nice. Nick’s have dirt under them. He holds his apple tighter.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Come with me,” George says, and Nick frowns as George moves away from the booth to nod his head towards the main road. “You can take a break.”

“Not really,” Nick wants to reply (break? Lunch was his break. He’s got to work!), but then George pivots and starts walking away, and he can’t have that, so he follows. “My stuff—”

“Will be safe, chill out,” George tells him. He glances behind and meets Nick’s eyes. Nick wonders if the other will crash into any of the various obstacles around them, booths, pedestrians, goods, fucking rocks in the walkway or something, but he doesn’t, just keeps walking. Part of Nick hopes he crashes. Wants to see him trip, fall, ruin his pants—they’re fancy, clean with those pressed lines down the middle. In the middle of the market, however upscale, they look stupid as hell. To see the knees covered in dust, caked in dirt, it’d make Nick pretty happy. He smiles at the image, and George, though brows end up quirked in confusion, offers a smile back.

Nick stumbles, a direct opposite to his imagination, but it’s because it’s not the city that’s blinding—it’s George’s smile. He blinks, glances behind himself; does George have a particularly white smile? Artificial, does George reap the benefits of being rich? Does the sun glint off those bleached teeth? But the Sun is still high overhead. And George’s teeth were white, but not white enough to be fake. Nick shakes his head, not wanting to get caught up in the thoughts, merely following after the other still. They’re out past the market now, heading deeper into the city. Delicatessens, bakeries, designer shops, and corner stores line the road, and Nick stares into the windows of them all with rapt attention. Sapnap, that’s what he told George his name was, and maybe here he is: Sapnap, someone else, someone new, someone who could walk by George’s side like it’s where he’s been his whole life, like the city is all he knows.

Looking at the elite walking by, Nick knows it wouldn’t be sustainable, not for him, but just for a bit, he can pretend. He glances over at George, who walks on ahead, easy, unassuming if not for the sun in his hair, spinning it into gold, unassuming if not for the set of his shoulders, the quiet confidence with which he carries himself. Carefully, he attempts to imitate the other.

They walk for another few minutes, and Nick is starting to worry about his things, about whether he’ll make it back in time for the after-school rush, the dinner rush, the weekend—when George finally stops and pushes open the door of a restaurant named something Nick can’t pronounce.

“Is that French?” he asks George.

“Yeah,” George replies, “I can’t pronounce it, though.”

“I thought all rich people knew French,” Nick says.

“Next state over,” George tells him. “Or in the east maybe. I’m taking Spanish.”

“My cousin knows Creole.” George hums before smiling at the host and asking for a table for two. The fancy atmosphere, however much a consequence of location and George’s upbringing, the host’s look over George’s shoulder at Nick, table for two—all of it sends Nick’s skeleton rattling, bones shaking and shivering under layers of skin and muscle, his brain easily equating these things to a date. But George isn’t like that. He’s just fancy. And Nick isn’t like that either. This is just what rich people do in the city. What everyone does in the city. They get lunch.

When they’re seated, Nick tugs at his collar. He’s not hot, but God, has he grown uncomfortable. He’s got dirt behind his knees he’s sure, and when he speaks it’s not that smooth, sweet voice George has got, and the slight beard he’s finally started to get only makes him all the scruffier. He’s a fish out of water, and he’s growing more and more certain it shows.

“Sapnap,” George says, “are you alright?”

And oh. Right. He’s not Nick. To George, he’s Sapnap, and George is taking Sapnap to lunch, which means he thinks Sapnap is able to be seen in a place like this, if not alone then with George, so it’s fine. Nick’s hand falls from his shirt to the table, where it curls around napkin-wrapped cutlery. “Yeah,” he replies, “I’m fine. Uh. Can you read this menu?”

“It’s in English, Sapnap.” George’s tone is dry, but it’s a joke, and his eyes squint with his smile. Nick smiles back.

;;

Despite their smiles, despite sharing a meal, they don’t get along. Nick wants to help provide for lunch, but he also can’t, not really, so they argue over that, and they argued over what to get too, because Nick is a firm believer in trying everything so let’s just split stuff, George, but George is apparently a possessive little bitch, so his idea was continually shot down, but then when a waitress came by, George ordered what Nick had suggested, so they argued over that, and when they left, George argued for a treat and Nick argued that he had to get back to work.

Nick won that one, but George stuck by his side as they traced their steps to the market.

Despite their inability to get along, they become what Nick thinks might just be friends.

“If I lost all my shit ‘cause of you,” Nick starts, but George just rolls his eyes. And when they reach his booth, it’s fine, like George had said it’d be, but Nick does lament the lost customers in the time spent out. He still has an afternoon ahead, but he still took off way more time than he’d have liked.

“It’s fine,” George tells him, hopping up onto the front little ledge of the booth. “I’ll help you sell it, or something.”

“You don’t have anywhere to be?” Nick asks him, checking his inventory one more time, just to make certain nothing’s been stolen.

George shakes his head, kicking his feet slightly, not stopping even when it makes the booth begin to sway. Nick steadies it with a careful hand, and George sends him a grateful look, though he still kicks his feet. “It’s summer.” He watches as Nick pulls out a chunk of meat, chuck, drops it onto the proper counter set up behind the pretty covering the booth makes, and sets about cutting it into pieces. “Nothing to do.”

“For you,” Nick says.

“For me,” George agrees.

Nick fixes up the beef, thinking about the restaurant, the roast he saw somewhere on the menu—that’s what people’ll use this meat for, he’s getting creative—and leans back, fingers curling around the countertop. “So what exactly are you proposing?”

George shrugs. “I can get you good food; I can advertise good food. You can cut what will one day be good food and keep the cash.”

“You’d do this for no pay?” Nick asks.

George tilts his head back, exposing the long column of his throat. Nick watches as sunlight catches his skin; George hadn’t seemed to sweat much, but now Nick sees where it’s damp on his skin, the light making it shimmer. Nick looks away. It didn’t look gross. George finally lowers his head. He doesn’t look gross. “I don’t need it,” George says. “And I’m not stupid. My dad works with some people from the city stockyard. You need the cash, don’t you?”

Nick fights back the urge to make a face. “Yeah. Did you remember that before or after you made me get lunch with you?”

George at least looks a little guilty. Nick takes what he can get. “Look,” George finally says, “I’m not terrible at marketing. And I know what people here want. Can you really say no?”

He can. Nick could say no and tell George to leave. Could say no and thanks, but lunch actually sucked (it didn’t). He could say a number of things that would get rid of George’s company.

He doesn’t.

“Just don’t get in my way, okay?” He and George lock eyes. George nods. Nick tightens his grip on the counter, surveys the steadily crowding market. “So who’re you going to reel in first, hotshot?”

;;

next

[writefightandflightclub]

Rally the troupes

What is this? 10 of 14 requests for my last follower celebration. The prompt is “emergency dance party”!!!! Fluffy one-shot. Poe gets creative with ways to cheer you up!

Also: 100% need to mention this awesome audio by @bluebellhairpin��� which shoudl put you in the mood!

Warnings: the rhythm is gonna get ya.

Word count: 2.6k, alarmingly. 

GIF: source

“What’s the emergency?” Finn exclaims breathlessly, rocking up to the hangar and throwing open the doors. He jogs purposefully past the crowd of convened comrades right up to Poe.

“Did I say ‘emergency’?” the pilot dismisses innocently. “I don’t think I used the word ‘emergency.”

“You did. That’s exactly what you said.” Finn insists.

“Just get in formation, Finn.” Poe deflects, clamping his hands on his friend’s shoulders to scooch him over and position him amongst the other rebels. “If you stand right about....” Poe’s eyes trail along the rest of the line as he makes another adjustment, before releasing his grip. “...there. That looks symmetrical.” For the first time, Finn peels his eyes away from Poe and scans over the crowd. Poe has various pilots, mechanics, medics, and command-room crew assembled, everyone arranged in lines and forward-facing.

With a spring in his step, Poe makes his way back to the front of the pack. For an emergency, he doesn’t seem overly concerned, Finn observes.

Poe gains the attention of his assembled team, who are muttering confusedly amongst themselves. “Can everyone see me from where they’re stood?” 

There is a general murmur of agreement.

“Good.” Poe claps his hands together in excitement. “For the next thirty minutes we have a very important task. You may have noticed that a good friend of mine has been a little down lately, and so I hoped we could do something hilarious to help cheer them up.”

Poe’s eyes are drawn to Finn in the crowd as a grin of realisation inches across his face, no further explanation necessary. “It’s an emergency dance party!”

Poe returns his smile as Finn pumps his fist in the air and whoops in approval. This was way better than most of the things Poe had previously convened people for. “Hell yes it’s an emergency dance party!” Poe echoes, opening his palms and inviting the whole crowd to share in his and Finn’s evident enthusiasm. “In half an hour, we’ll have an amazing, surprise routine ready to perform. First, I’m gonna need you to come up here, one-by-one, and give us your most ridiculous dance move to add to the sequence.” A murmur of energy, apprehension, and self-consciousness flickers through the crowd but Poe taps his chest; “I’ll make an idiot out of myself first, don’t worry”, he reassures.

“Well, that’s standard!” Rey hollers out good-naturedly from amidst the throng.

“Rey will go second.” Poe counters mischievously.

There is a flutter of laughter through the crowd at both the insult and rebuttal, but Poe’s enthusiasm is for the most part infectious. One could even suggest that the man has leadership skills, or at least enough charisma and heart for people to get behind him. “Everyone in?” he asks, but doesn’t wait for an answer; his mind is set and this is happening. He turns to the astromech unit by his side with a point of his finger. “Hit it, Beebs.”

The funky sounds of music fill the hangar as Poe gets his boogie on.

***

You walk towards the hangar to begin your shift, practically dragging your feet. Truth be told, as much as you loved your work and would welcome the distraction, you wished you didn’t have to deal with Poe right now. You had been having a hard time lately, and Poe was one of the few people who could see right through the brave face you’d been wearing.

When you arrive at the hangar, though, the door is pulled closed - which is unusual - with a droid stationed outside. “Scoot!” you caution, shuffling the unit out of the way. The second item of suspicion is that it’s eerily quiet, none of the typical sounds emanating from inside. No clank of metal on metal, whirr of machines, or voices barking orders.

You push the door open with some caution, expecting it to be empty, and you startle as the faces of a large group of rebels greet you, grins plastered on their faces. Poe is heading up the group and their unusual formation, his grin widest of all. You barely have any time to register this or to discern what’s going on before the music kicks-in over the hangar speakers. You startle as arms are suddenly thrust into the air, everybody moving in unison. The hangar is darkened, the lights in the cockpits of the X-Wings programmed to flash on in time with the music.

They’re dancing. Your hands come up to your face in shock as it sinks in. They did this for you. Poe did this for you.

You venture further into the hangar, watching with glee as the troupe of troops fling themselves enthusiastically around, delighting you with a series of ridiculous shapes. All the classic dance moves are in there; the droid, the X-wing, the twist. BB-8 is even in on the action, circling elaborately around Poe’s legs and wobbling his adorable little head.

“From the top” Poe yells, and the sequence begins to repeat. After every spin and jump and clap his eyes return to you, carefully studying your reaction. You can practically see the relief sink into his movements as he sees you laughing, and he returns your easy smile. If it’s possible, he throws even more gusto into it, especially into any move that calls for a wiggle of his hips or butt.

Happy tears bloom in the corner of your eyes as the ridiculous, shambolic, and yet utterly perfect routine plays out, punctuated by whoops and peals of laughter from your friends. Part way through, Finn and Rey give up and fold over in mirth. When the structured part of the routine is over, the group break off into freestyle and Poe, still intent on you, reaches his hand out, nodding his head encouragingly as he mouths “Wanna dance?. 

How could you resist his sweet, open, hopeful face. You reach out to him and he grins, wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. “Is this ok?” he checks, respectful as ever.

“Yep. It’s very ok.” His eyebrow cocks up in slight surprise at the mildly suggestive look which appears in your eyes, and he takes the liberty of pressing his body a little closer to you than necessary. Maybe this was something you should explore later. Especially after seeing that butt wiggling. You expel a light-hearted chuckle at the thought, your cheeks beginning to ache from smiling and flush from the sudden proximity. 

Poe beams at you as he leads you around the floor, swivelling and twirling you all over in a raucous and bouncy fashion. It seems that finally seeing you smile again has made him feel like he’s uncovered some kind of buried treasure, judging by the unfiltered delight in his eyes. “Poe,” you communicate in between steps, in the moments where he pulls you back in to his chest at intervals. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“If I had my way you’d have nothing but sweet things.” he offers in a way which is effortlessly sincere.

You study his eyes a moment, blown away by his words, forgetting to move your feet and smashing into his chest. He throws his arms out to steady you and you’re locked like that -despite the chaotic and jubilant whirling occurring around you- until Poe snaps you out of it by wrapping an arm around your shoulder and gesturing beyond you. “Hey, I think there’s a dance-off brewing. Come on.” He nods his head in the direction of the circle of people forming, where hands and feet are beginning a steady clapping rhythm.  

You howl in amusement when you approach. Of course Finn is in the middle. The spectators part for you, making space for you to join its circumference, and Poe stands beside you, never dropping his arm from around your shoulders.

“If Rey levitates you that’s cheating, Finn!” you yell into the centre of the circle through cupped hands as Finn, much to his surprise, is lifted off the ground to perform an elaborate spin.

Finn wails and points at you, quickly shouting that you’re up next. You shake your head and wave a hand in protest, looking to Poe for back-up. He just shrugs and smiles. “Looks like you’re up next.” You would feel self-conscious, but the way Poe is beaming at you and you only makes you want to dance for joy, and so you shimmy into the centre of the circle, throwing your body around wildly to hoots of approval. Apparently Poe approves too, judging from his enlivened shouts and foot stomping.

Of course, when your turn is over, you point at Poe to have him take your place, and he makes a determined march towards you, throwing you a wink as you cross paths on his way into the fray. Poe is right in the centre of it all, pulling out some vigorous moves, the cheers from the group and the banging music and flashing lights feeling like they’re about to raise the roof. 

That’s the moment Leia chooses to ceremoniously enter the hangar, cape flowing behind her as she pushes aside the double doors. A hush ripples out across the crowd of ad hoc partygoers and Poe glances over, alerted to the presence of the General. He offers her his most charming smile, but he keeps up with his cavorting. Leia looks like she might scold him, but then she surveys the faces of her rebels, perhaps realising that it has been a long time since everyone has been smiling like this. Since morale has been this high. Instead of halting the proceedings, an expression which is both mock-scolding and supressing amusement passes over her face. She simply waves her hand in a ‘carry on’ motion. You hear her subdued laughter next to you as the General slots in to the space in the circle.

“You ok kid?” she asks you, with a gentle nudge of her elbow. You nod at her, probably looking brighter than you have in some time. It doesn’t go unnoticed. “Poe Dameron is something else, isn’t he?” Leia asks, shaking her head in fond disbelief as you both spectate his moves, watching him peacock and strut around the floor. As if he knows that he’s being talked about, he turns to wiggle his ass in your and the General’s direction. “Oh my!” Leia exclaims, holding her hands up as if to block out the sight, then feigning to fan herself with a chuckle.

Then, Leia leans in as though to whisper a secret to you. “I’m sure you all know how much I detest gossip, kiddo. But if I were you, and a man with moves like that was looking at me the way Dameron’s looking at you...” Leia trails off. “Well, it might not be proper to say what I’d do, but I just hope that you plan to do something about it.” She pats you on the shoulder and smiles knowingly at you. “You know, if you want to.”

What was Leia implying? Was Poe really looking at you in some kind of way? You don’t have time to complete the thought though, as Poe extends his hand towards Leia and tugs her into a surprisingly elegant waltz around the middle of the circle, to the delight of everyone, their smiles warm and soft-centred. 

You feel a rush of affection for the man who has put a smile on everyone’s face - yours included. He’d taken an off-hand comment you’d made, whilst feeling blue, and turned it into something beautiful. After a string of horrible events, you were struggling to be “okay”, or to find hope again. One aspect weighing on you, was that you couldn’t say for sure when any of this would be over. Couldn’t say when, if ever, people would be able to live again, to dance again, to love again. Poe was showing you that no matter how bleak it got, that you didn’t have to wait for moments like this. They could happen now.

If you had your way, that man would have nothing but sweet things. He deserved it.

***

The dancing had continued into the afternoon, until the time had come when work really did need to be done. Still, the music had stayed on over the speakers, everyone had continued with a little spring in their step, and laughter had been much more frequent than usual as the crew went about their business. You, in particular, had been on a rare high all day.

You’d gotten stuck back in to your tasks, but whenever a thought of Poe surfaced you couldn’t hold back the smile and butterflies which followed. To distract yourself, you had immersed yourself in your work repairing the ships. As was typical, you were lying beneath the undercarriage of a craft, and had lost track of the passage of time. You didn’t notice almost everyone else in the hangar had cleared out until you felt a soft -and then more insistent- kick to your boots; Poe’s usual signal that you’d been under there too long. That or he’d fling a casual ration bar underneath to remind you to eat something.

You duck out from underneath, and look-up at him, still pressed to the floor. “What’s going on?” you enquire. Did you always feel this nervous when he looked at you, or was this new?

“Got one more routine I wanna show you.” Poe informs, offering his hand. You reach out and he wraps your wrist, tugging you to a standing position. “Beebs, hit it.” The astromech tootles in delight and a slow, romantic song begins to emanate from his speakers. In succession, the lights throughout the hangar then flick out, replaced once again by the lumination of X-wing cockpits, giving the room a soft, almost magical glow. 

Taking your fingers in his, Poe twirls you gently and then pulls you close to him, tucking you into his body, his warm and sturdy arms encasing your waist. “Is this still ok?”, he asks you softly.

“Yes” you breathe, nervously, as he sways you in his arms to the sweeping rhythm of the music, your movements perfectly in sync. With mild trepidation, you raise your arms to wind them around his neck, slotting the ‘v’ of your thumb and forefinger over his shoulders, your fingertips twisting in the overgrown curls at the nape of his neck.

Pulled in to him like this, your bodies are so close that you feel the heat of him through your respective oil-coated uniforms. You are close enough to drink in his disarming, musky scent. Your lips twitch up in a nervous smile as his dark eyes meet yours, fervent and unwavering as you shuffle over the hangar floor together. He is as warm and welcoming and compelling as a blazing hearth, and you fear that if you pull away now you would almost certainly freeze. He’s a comfort you always want to be beside, yet a small part of you feels unworthy of his ardour.

“Poe.” you venture delicately. “I don’t know how to thank you. I could try and thank you for today, but it wouldn’t be enough. I don’t know how to thank you for being everything that you are. For just being who you are.”

Your eyes glisten with tears, which causes Poe’s eyebrows to knit together with heaviness. “You don’t have to thank me.” he insists, gingerly bringing the pad of his thumb up to brush your cheek. “I’d been trying to find the words to tell you that things could be good again. That you weren’t alone. But it turns out there are some things words are just no good for. So, I wanted to show you things can be good. And...” Poe hesitates, becoming uncharacteristically shy. “...if you’ll let me... I want to keep showing you.”

You smile softly, suddenly lost for words yourself. But maybe words aren’t what’s needed right now; only dancing. The dance of his fingertips over your jaw, the quickstep of your heart. With his hands on you, it as if he is working a sweet melody down his arms and spreading its warm, dulcet tones throughout your body. It feels increasingly like you’re melting in to one another, into one song, your hands sliding up a little further into his hair, his hands exploring gentle circles on your back, your need evident and in sync as you both build towards the swell of the refrain.

Then, quite simply, Poe tucks his hand under your chin and tips your lips up towards his. He searches your eyes for a moment before asking: “Can I kiss you?”

There’s nothing that could pull you apart from Poe in this moment. You feel as if your lips are an instrument with which you seek to compose harmonious music. As if you have all manner of crochets and minims and quavers in your mouth which his tongue could bend into a song for your heart to sing. “Not if I kiss you first.”

Then, quite simply, you spin the pilot, pinning him up against the ladder of his X-wing as your mouth meets his in a crush. You are very pleased to learn how much Poe leads with his tongue, and you dissolve into this kiss.

Maybe one day if the war was ever over, you would tell people; it was horrible and sad and monstrous, yes. But at least you could also tell them; sometimes, there was still dancing. Sometimes, there was still music.

As you break apart from Poe, your heart is beating fast. Poe smiles contentedly and pulls you into an embrace, squeezing you firmly and leaning your head against his chest. You hear his heart pounding with equal ferocity to yours.

Finally, you believe that things can be good. That you’re not alone. You’ve been dancing a duet all along. You don’t know the names of all of the rhythms to say if it’s a bossa nova or a tango or something else. But you know for sure that his heart is dancing for joy. Just like yours is.

THE END

Like this? I hope the story brought you some joy and that’s more than enough. However, if you do have the energy and inclination, I would love to hear from you! Feedback in an ask or comment genuinely makes my day! ILY.

Want more? You can check out my Masterlist to read more of my works! FYI: It’s always kept updated in my bio.

Want even more? Just ask if you’re not already and you’d like to be added to my permanent tag-list or any series tag-lists <3 Also, you can always check in my bio if requests are open rn if you’d like to see something specific.

[ffamranxii]

Sailor Stars thoughts:

1. The anime does its absolute best to make the Starlights unlikable. Taiki is a fucking asshole (he won’t even give a dying girl, who he explicitly was taken to visit, an autograph, and tells a bunch of children that their grandfather’s theory about souls becoming stars is dead wrong), Seiya is a Nice Guy who hits on Usagi constantly despite being told multiple times she has a boyfriend, and Yaten is a mildly sarcastic cardboard cutout. I know the manga doesn’t expand on them much but the anime is supposed to help make these people real. Counterexample is Chibi-Chibi, who hardly speaks in the manga and relies on her cuteness alone to be likable. They gave her a very cute voice because it was literally all they had to work with, given how often Chibi-Chibi actually appears

2. The dub cast for the Starlights is frankly awful. As civilians, Taiki alternates between a woman trying too hard to make her voice deep and having a bad cold, Seiya sounds like a prepubescent boy, and Yaten sounds like a woman (which they’re not, as civilians); as Starlights their voices are VERY high pitched, especially Yaten’s. Their sub voices just sound like woman talking a bit deeply and then normal women.

3. Why the FUCK did Toei think literally changing sex was less controversial than crossdressing? The Starlights are women and have always been women. Plus, them being male civilians in the anime creates a paradox, because if they’re men with sailor crystals who can become senshi, why can’t Mamoru - who is confirmed multiple times throughout the series as carrying the earth’s star seed and thus being Sailor Earth - do the same? Naoko said Mamoru can’t be a sailor senshi because he’s a man, but the Starlights don’t abide by this rule, they change their fucking biological sex

4. Why is absolutely no one concerned that Chibi-Chibi, a THREE YEAR OLD, just goes off on her own and has her own little adventures? She wanders into some strange old man’s house and they’re all “oh that’s just Chibi-Chibi,” and no one is worried that a literal stranger invites a three year old into his house where he gives her toys and candy? The 90s were WILD, man

5. Why does Chibi-Chibi, again who is THREE YEARS OLD, have a thigh gap?

6. This one’s on Naoko because it’s like this in the manga, but the anime is supposed to expand on the universe so I blame them too: Why does literally nobody question Chibi-Chibi’s motives? Some strange pink haired child who fucking falls out of the sky one day up and brainwashes Usagi’s mom into thinking she’s her second daughter, and nobody bats an eye at this? That’s sus as fuck and literally the only question anyone has is “is she your kid or Chibiusa’s?” She doesn’t even have a NAME, “chibi” is just a random word she says!

7. I am DIGGING the mobster feel of the Animamates’ civilian forms. Especially Iron Mouse and Tin Nyanko, who clearly launder money through a shady car dealership.

8. The Starlights’ only redeeming qualities are their snazzy entrance music and Seiya’s red suit

9. Why is Aluminum Siren the only Animamate who understands that a senshi has a pure star seeds? Like, y’all killed the senshi of your home planets to take their star seeds so YOU could be senshi (which is presumably why Galaxia wants more seeds, to make more Animamates with them), shouldn’t you know that?

10. Aluminum Siren/Lead Crow are trying their damn hardest to give Harumichi a run for their money in the quest to become the Best Space Lesbians.

11. So the Moon Kingdom fosters loyalty through child soldiers. I’m assuming Queen Serenity has her own senshi in the form of our senshi’s mothers, etc. (Which begs the question of if the Asteroid Senshi are supposed to be the future kids of our senshi or if they too are child soldiers from the asteroids they’re named after.) Kinmoku seems to foster loyalty by having the Kakyuu’s senshi fall in unrequited love with her. (In the manga it’s stated Kakyuu has a husband who died when their planet was destroyed.) I mean, whatever works, right?

12. I LOVE Tin Nyanko’s dub voice. She’s only around Usagi’s age and she sounds it

13. The dub actress for Lead Crow seems like she’s half assing it. Her voice doesn’t raise properly when she yells, she never sounds really angry, and it’s just so odd. I find a lot of dub voices do this, while the original Japanese VAs will scream their lungs out into the mic

14. On the reverse, Galaxia’s voice actress is a badass. She’s supposed to have a deep menacing voice but I like the one they gave her in the dub. She’s quiet, and sounds almost kind, and that’s a fucking TERRIFYING sort of villain we don’t see a lot of. Even when she’s pissed she doesn’t raise her voice.

15. Why are Lead Crow and Tim Nyanko the same height? Lead Crow is like 5’10 and Tin Nyanko is 4’11 like Sailor Moon

16. As an aside, Tin Nyanko and Lead Crow don’t like each other, which reminds me of the cats vs crows trash can showdown in Haikyuu lol

17. Haruka’s hate boner for Seiya gives me life

18. FINALLY someone calls the Starlights out on being assholes but it’s only after Makoto sees them harassing a THREE YEAR OLD (Chibi-Chibi). Literally everyone BUT Usagi thinks they’re assholes. “They sing such beautiful songs!” Bro. You can sing pretty and still be a fucking dick.

19. Lead Crow goes after Sailor Moon only after reading Siren’s notebook. Ditzy SIREN is the smartest Animamate, lord help them

20. Kakyuu’s dub voice is SO GOOD. She’s my favorite minor character, I’m still bitter they didn’t show Sailor Kakyuu

21. Seiya’s crush on Usagi was so awkwardly shoehorned in. I hate it. Jesus fucking Christ Usagi is sobbing in the goddamn rain about how much she misses Mamoru and Seiya is STILL coming onto her.

22. It is literally so fucking funny to me that Mamoru spends all of Stars fucking dead. He’s just a perpetual damsel in distress.

23. Rei literally lectures Usagi about leading Seiya on and how “you need to do the right thing and tell him you already have someone,” AS IF USAGI HASN’T BEEN DOING THAT AT EVERY AVAILABLE OPPORTUNITY. THE FIRST TIME THEY MET SHE SAID SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND, SHE’S TOLD SEIYA OVER AND OVER THAT SHE ISN’T INTERESTED IN HIM, THAT SHE’S GOT A BOYFRIEND, THAT SHE LOVES HER BOYFRIEND. The fucking MISOGYNY here, like it’s Usagi leading Seiya on instead of Seiya being a fucking Nice Guy who can’t take no for a goddamn answer. Shut the fuck up, Rei.

24. Pretty sure under Kakyuu’s headdress is a pair of odango

25. The fact that Iron Mouse and Aluminum Siren both die when their bracelets are removed yet Tin Nyanko doesn’t implies that Tin Nyanko was the original Sailor Mau. Mouse and Siren dying implies that forcing senshi powers on a civilian is dangerous and that Galaxia’s bracelets are the only thing keeping them alive (albeit brainwashed). Yet Tin Nyanko seems to revert to “good” when one of her bracelets is destroyed. Galaxia has to intervene and kill her personally. Tin Nyanko may have offered her senshi powers to spare Mau (this applies only in the anime; in the manga she’s explicitly said to have killed Sailor Mau)

26. Oooh Galaxia’s angry voice is so commanding and sexy

27. Don’t gimme that “we love Usagi but we love you Starlights just as much.” No you fucking don’t. The whole death scene in the anime is just so... ugh. Bad.

28. The Outers fighting Galaxia is hilarious. They’re supposed to be stronger than the Inners yet Galaxia never even has to get out of her chair to kick their asses. The writers were trying real hard to make us fear the worst and back the senshi into a corner but literally they’ve made this an impossible battle to win that only becomes winnable due to plot armor.

29. Rewatching Stars and classic after Eternal and Crystal makes me miss the battle damage the fuku took. The new series always has them looking pristine, but in classic they actually get roughed up and battle scarred. It makes it more real.

30. Aww how come Uranus and Neptune got to keep their names when they joined Galaxia? I wanna know what whack ass Animamate name they would’ve gotten. (Also Galaxia literally just sent them out like Pokémon, wtf)

31. I feel like Saturn dying shouldn’t be possible since she’s literally a senshi of death but... whatever, go off I guess.

32. So.... Uranus and Neptune joining Galaxia to try and take her star seed is a cool idea that absolutely did not happen in the manga, and needed more than half an episode of development. Would’ve been a cool plot if it wasn’t so rushed.

33. So much of this season was rushed so they could tie the series up at a beat 200 episodes. If they really didn’t want to go over 200, they should’ve cut the Nehelennia arc (which isn’t in the manga anyway) and and focused on developing the Animamates, this sweet Harumichi betrayal plot, and explaining Chibi-Chibi??? Her existence makes no sense without Sailor Cosmos, and they just... didn’t include her??? Wtf

[densi-mber]

Crush

A/N: This takes places in the semi-near future. For today’s prompt: Kensi or Deeks as a teacher. This fic represents what happens when my mind runs wild with an idea.

***

“Hey, can I call you back in about an hour and a half?” Deeks asked as he jogged down a flight of stairs to the third floor. “I have office hours starting in a few minutes.”

“Sure. Good luck with the gremlins,” Kensi answered. He rolled his eyes, nodding to a passing professor.

“Kens, they’re in they’re 20’s. You have to stop calling my students things like gremlins and children.”

He walked into the small office where he spent his time when he wasn’t teaching Contract Law to thirty or so L1 students. He dropped his bag by the desk, and slipped his jacket off, rolling his sleeves up a few times so he wouldn’t end up getting ink or chalk on the fabric. His dry cleaning bills had definitely increased since he started wearing dress shirts and ties again.

A little less than a year before, when he’d be aimlessly looking for a job, one of his former classmates had suggested teaching until he found something more permanent. Deeks had balked at the idea initially, but eventually given when it became clear that he needed to work and his other options were unavailable.

He’d never anticipated how much he would enjoy it. Now he taught three classes throughout the week at Loyola Law school as an adjunct professor. It was strangely satisfying to have a hand in teaching the next batch of lawyers.

“All I’m saying is that they look a lot younger that I did at that age.” Deeks snorted at Kensi’s completely inaccurate observation as he wrote a few notes on the blackboard that took up most of the back wall.

“You were just a baby when I met you,” he teased.

“Yet you still married me,” Kensi pointed out.

“Ooh, touché.” He heard a noise behind him and glanced over his shoulder. “Oops, gotta go. See you at dinner.” Deeks hung up, turning around completely to face one of his students, Mallory Baten.

She was lingering in the doorway and if Deeks didn’t know better, he would have thought she was hesitating. But that didn’t align with the young woman he knew. Mallory was one of the most outspoken and confident students in the class. She also had a biting sense of humor that Deeks found hilarious.

“Hey Mallory, what can I do for you?” he asked, gesturing for her to take a seat. Again she hesitated a little before pulling up one of the metal chairs situated opposite his desk.

“I had a few questions about Monday’s lecture, Mr. Deeks,” she said, pulling out a thick, color coded binder. The sight of it always reminded him of his own college experience and made him slightly nauseous. He did not miss the stress of studying and exams.

Deeks dragged his chair over with his foot and sat down with his forearms braced against the back, waiting for her to continue.

Brushing her light blond hair back from her neck, Mallory flipped to a page from the last class notes. Deeks instantly recognized her small, neat handwriting covering the majority of the paper.

“So, I was rereading the section on unjust enrichment and I wondered if you could clarify the concept. The text book had some examples, but I thought it was a little lacking,” she said, pointing to her notes.

Deeks tilted his head, quickly scanned her notes and nodded. It was a fairly simple concept, but Mallory tended to be exceedingly thorough. She was one of five or six students who regularly attended his office hours.

“Ok, so unjust enrichment essentially says that if I provide you with a service or product, I deserve compensation. Even if you end a contract early or have an issue with how I provided the service, you still need to provide compensation for those services or produces you received,” he explained.

“Even if the services or products weren’t satisfactory?” she asked, writing something in the corner of the page.

“Well, that would fall under a different part of contract law and would be considered a breach of contract. Assuming there was a legitimate contract to begin with. Does that answer your question?”

“Yes, it does, Mr. Deeks.”

“Awesome, I’ll see you on Wednesday,” Deeks said, grabbing a stack of homework assignments that needed grading from the end of his desk while Mallory packed up her binder.

“Actually, I have one more question,” Mallory said. He glanced up, mildly surprised to find her standing over her desk. “Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?”

Deeks froze, sure he’d heard her wrong.

“Do I-what are you asking me?”

“I’m asking you to go out to dinner. On a date.” Her cheeks were a little flushed, but her gaze didn’t waver.

“You know, I’m married, right?” he asked a little desperately. He saw Mallory’s eyes flick to his ring and then back to his face, and she nodded.

“I know.”

“And I’m your teacher.”

“You’re also really hot,” she said bluntly and he felt his cheeks fill with heat. “Plus you’re funny, caring, and my god, your muscles are incredible. Sometimes I come to office hours just to watch the you move.”

Mallory seemed past the point of embarrassment, but he wished a hole would open up in the floor. Or he could throw himself out a window. Unfortunately, his office didn’t have one so he’d have to actually face this. It didn’t help that Mallory was now openly checking him out.

Suppressing a groan, he turned in a half circle, pinching the bridge of his nose as tried to figure out what to say. The continuing ed classes he’d taken hadn’t prepared him for this possibility at all.

“Mart-Mr. Deeks, are you ok?” He almost laughed at the question.

He turned back around to face Mallory again, balancing a on hand on his hip. She looked a little more uncertain again and was watching him avidly.

“Well, this is, uh, wow.” He cleared his throat noisily and tried again. “While this is incredibly, um, flattering, I think we both know that nothing is going to happen between us. For a multitude of reasons,” he said as gently as he could.

“We could still just go out for dinner,” she suggested hopefully. “As friends.”

“No, we can’t,” Deeks said firmly. “Now we should go talk to the dean about getting you transferred to another class section for the remainder of the semester.”

***

“Hey baby,” Kensi greeted him at home later that day, punctuating it with a kiss. “How was work?”

“An unmitigated disaster,” he sighed. He dropped his bag by the door, and flopped onto the couch. Kensi sat next to him and grabbed his hand with a look of concern.

“What happened? Everything seemed fine when I talked to you earlier today.” Deeks groaned, silently reliving the last few hours.

“One of my students hit on me today.” If he’d expected Kensi to react with outrage, he was about to be disappointed. She visibly relaxed beside him, smacking his arm with the back of her hand.

“Why didn’t you lead with that? You had me really worried,” she said, shaking her head at his apparent lack of consideration.

“The fact that a 23 year old asked me out to dinner doesn’t bother you at all?” Deeks asked. Kensi shrugged.

“I figured it was only a matter of time.” Deeks gave her a look and she rolled her eyes at him. “For someone who claims to be a reformed lady’s man, you are ridiculously oblivious when someone is flirting with you. Half the women in your class have a crush on you.”

“No they don’t.” Kensi actually laughed at his protest, patting his arm with false sympathy.

“Uh, yeah they do, babe. Every time I’ve visited you at work, there are no less than three students staring at you at any time. Sometimes even a couple teachers,” she said, clearly enjoying this more than she had any right to.

“Ugh, now I’m going to be thinking about these kids checking me out during class,” he groaned. “This sucks.”

“You’re not even a little bit flattered?” she asked with mild surprised. He shrugged. Maybe he would have been at one time, but now it just seemed weird and a little creepy.

“I might be if I wasn’t old enough to be their father.” Kensi squinted at him and he clarified, “If I had them really young.”

“I’m sure they don’t think of you in a fatherly way.” Deeks made a face at that and gave a full-body shudder.

“Well, thanks for that horrible thought,” he said dryly. “And here I just thought they all loved my teaching.”

“Well, I’m sure they appreciate that too.” Kensi smirked at him as he pouted, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s all your own fault, you know.”

“How is this my fault? I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“You can’t walk around all day in tight shirts and pants with your sleeves rolled up and not expect to get noticed,” she said, leaning in and gliding her nose across his jaw. She inhaled deeply. “You look good enough to eat.” As she spoke, her hand drifted up his bare forearm to cup his bicep. It was a fairly innocent touch, but he still felt a shiver work its way up his spine.

“Is that an offer?” he asked, thoughts of Mallory quickly leaving his mind. Kensi walked her fingers up his arm and across his chest, pausing at his collar. She fiddled with the button on his collar and then slowly tugged his tie free.

“It’s a promise,” she said, the husky note in her voice incredibly sexy. Deeks settled his hands on her hips as she rose up on her knees and straddled his thighs. Smiling down at him, she brushed her hair back, the glossy strands dancing around her shoulder, and slipped the top button free on his shirt. Then she looked up, her expression playful, and added, “For later.”

“That’s cruel,” he complained. “Especially when I’ve had such a terrible day. It was mortifying.”

“So how much did you freak out when she asked you out?” she asked slyly.

“I handled it with all the finesse and professionalism that you would expect from a former criminal defendant, detective, and federal liaison,” Deeks said with mock solemnity and Kensi raised an eyebrow at him.

“Really?” Her voice was filled with disbelief.

“Yeah, no, I kept hoping a freak tornado or earthquake would come along and put me out of my misery.”

“So, I don’t have to worry about you running off with any promising young law students?” Deeks rolled his eyes at Kensi’s question. He thought she was mostly joking, but just in case, he cupped her jaw between his palms, cradling the back of her head and firmly kissed her. She made a noise of surprise in the back of her throat that quickly turned to satisfaction.

“Never. They’ll just have to find another incredibly attractive, middle aged teacher to chase after.” He kissed her again. When they pulled back, Kensi was smirking at him as she fiddled with his collar.

“You’re an idiot, but I love you anyway,” she said, pulling him back down to her.

***

A/N: I know nothing about law, other than what I googled.

[randombtsprincessa]

Bankshot

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Min Yoongi x Reader (2nd POV)

Words: 3.3k

Genre: Smut

Summary: Smut drabble for basketball player Yoongi because I’m weak. There’s a plot I swear.

Warning: Basketball player Yoongi, CUTE Yoongles, Giggly and blushing mess of Goongi because yeah, mentions of drunken sex, Yoongi is somewhat subby?, handjob, riding, fingering, protected sex.

A/N: This Yoongi is true to heart irl Yoongi. Fight me.

The senior league of BH basketball was one of the most prestigious, if not slightly overrated college competitions ever, in your opinion. It hosted a number of colleges, both big and small, challenging them into a championship that usually awarded the team with one giant trophy, a photo in the college and town newspaper and then…nada – except maybe something to add to a resume.

However, aside from your own apprehensions and less than pleasant thoughts on the subject, you dutifully went to support your team to each game, shouting and booing whenever necessary. It was a matter of pride, watching the red and white uniforms score a basket and the subsequent cheering.

You also went because if you didn’t, you would never hear the end of it from a certain Min Yoona. Not that she had any personal attachment to the game; it was more of a point of correlation. Her brother, Min Yoongi was the gem of the BH Basketball team and she always went to support her brother.

So, why did you have to go?

Well, because…

The team had won. Naturally, no one was very surprised. It was bound to happen, especially since the last ball had been passed to Yoongi and he had a perfect advantage.

Bank shot…his expertise…

You had dutifully sat next to Yoona as you watched her brother run across the gleaming wood, his shoes squeaking, adjusting his stance and then he was flying up. His powerful legs bent, lifting off and his arms shot straight forward, face intense as he, his team, the audience watched the ball sail, slicing through the air, missing an opponent’s fingers and slam into the backboard, before toppling right through the basket.

The crowd erupted.

Yoongi jumped again, his fist pumping in the air while his team swarmed around him. Hard slaps that echoed through the hall landed on his back and you politely followed Yoona, standing as she squealed loudly, bouncing in her boots.

“That was amazing, wasn’t it?” She asked later, leading you over to the after party, filled with the team and the opposition, celebrating together to show they had no hard feelings.

“Yeah, sure,” You spied a few members of the team hanging about, booze – duh – in their hands and some groupies – also, duh – hanging off of them.

“I can’t wait to see Yoongi, he was brilliant.” She squealed yet again and you turned a fond look at your friend. You slung an arm around her shoulder, squeezing slightly, “Let’s go find your brother.” You said, leading the way further in.

Once surrounded by the majority of the party, it wasn’t long before you and Yoona were separated. She was friends with a few other girls who (even though the maximum of them were old time conquests) were actually nice. You were on speaking terms with a few but you preferred hanging out with the team.

“Jungkook,” you called for the youngest, the only one unattached ironically – attention; his head swiveling in your direction. Baby teeth appeared in the front of his mouth as he gave you a beam. “Hey, I didn’t think you’d come.” He said.

“Yoona,” You explained and he nodded, taking a sip of his soda.

“She must be with Yoongi. Boy wouldn’t let any guy hover a mile near her.” He said, eyeing the crowd thoughtfully.

“What about you? Why aren’t you surrounded?” You asked.

He rolled his eyes. “Not all of us are like that, Y/N.” He confided, lowering his voice conspiratorially before looking at his glass. “I’m going to get another, you want one?”

He departed at the shake of your head, leaving you alone near the curtains as you pulled out your phone, scrolling through twitter and addressing a few social media notifications.

“And what are we doing alone?”

You had to flinch, looking about to see an uncomfortably familiar cheeky grin near about you. You looked back to the front quickly.

“Where’s your sister?” You asked instead.

He hummed, looking over the room before edging closer. “She’s about. I can’t keep an eye on her all the time.”

You scoffed. “Sure,”

Yoongi moved further into your private space. “She’s with Hoseok, Y/N. I left her in good hands and came to find you.” He dipped his head to your ear. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You turned your head barely to look at him, placing a hand to push away. “You’re drunk, Min.”

He whined immediately. “Nope, haven’t touched a drink; don’t want you to give me that bullshit ‘drunk’ excuse again.”

You hissed, turning around to see if anybody heard him. “Can you be any louder?”

Yoongi gave you a glowing grin, sending your heart fluttering for a split second. “Of course I can,” he leaned in conspiratorially. “If I had my way, I’d be shouting about it.”

You stared at him critically for a long moment, long enough for one of his team members to yell over for him and with one last look at you and a ‘think about it’, he was gone.

You didn’t watch him leave, instead slumping against the wall, thinking back to how when you’d first been introduced to Min Yoongi, you’d never thought it would go like that.

Endearingly shy and adorable, Yoongi had been the only player on the team who hadn’t hit on you in the initial stages. He’d grinned genially when Yoona had introduced you two, shaking your hand, looking you over like brothers do their sister’s friends and that had been that.

Cut to the day of Yoona’s birthday party, all purple and pastels and you’d sorely been the only one who had found the sight of Yoongi is a purple cone hat hilarious instead of insulting to his manhood. You’d complimented him, squished his cheeks making him grip your wrists to pull away from your hands and he’d given you a look.

You were drunk, of course you were and maybe it was all in your head but Yoongi’s eyes had had that come hither darkness and soon enough the both of you were crashing through the doors of his bedroom, knocking more than a few things off their rightful places.

He’d pushed you onto the bed, tugged off your clothes and made you feel all sorts of way that even now had you pressing your thighs together, biting your lip and shifting gazes around. What was done in that bedroom could and should never reach his sister, just in case she blurted it out in front of their parents…or the entire college.

Of course, when you’d tried to make it out the room without disturbing a dozing Yoongi, he’d lifted his head, eyeing you concernedly. Concern that was ridiculous on his part; after all, you were just his younger sister’s friend.

So imagine your confusion and dawning awkwardness when Yoongi – slightly miffed from your stupid excuse of being too drunk to realize what you were doing with whom – had forwarded you a condition.

If he helped the team win three consecutive games, you’d agree to at least a date. You didn’t have to be a genius to know he meant a repeat of that night.

Maybe you were too drunk to realize your actions…because you agreed.

Or maybe it was the fact, that he was probably the best sex you’d ever had…

Or maybe Yoongi was cute…or whatever, you know…

Yoongi had won two games, each with the precise banks that he always used to his advantage. You had tried everything, hiding behind Yoona to publicly panicking.

Hiding behind Yoona was unsuccessful, seeing as Yoongi had casually spun a ball on his finger, whistling before yelling out a ‘Hey sis, hey there Y/N!”

You had cursed, avoiding Yoona’s questions about who you were hiding from because of course; it never occurred to her that it was Yoongi.

The next was when you’d hyperventilated and hid in the washrooms just after the second game, one where Yoongi, again lifted to the team shoulders had directly winked in your direction.

By god, he had scored another win tonight.

And he was going to collect the prize.

You stood to one side as the team filed out of the showers, steam following them along with mild chatter that usually is not associated with boys. A few glanced at you in passing, varying degrees of unbothered, mildly curious and blatant shock ranging through their faces as you sought the one you wanted.

Presently, Yoongi walked out as well, a simply white t-shirt covering his torso with jeans, a towel slung over his nape that he was rubbing his hair vigorously with.

“That’s bad for your scalp.” You noted drily, making him halt in his steps, his eyes roving over to yours.

“Y/N,” he frowned in confusion, looking about. “What are you doing here?”

You moved away from the wall towards him, “I wondered when you would collect your reward.” You crossed your arms across your chest.

“My reward,” his brow cleared, a giggle bubbling on his doll like lips. “You make me sound like some kid looking for candy.” He paused before reaching out, latching an arm around your waist and pulling you lightly to him. “Although; I do remember someone tasting better than candy,”

You bat at his chest, not pulling away however. “So, get on with it. I’m not going to wait forever.”

He let you go. “Patience, Y/N; It’s a date; I need to prepare something wow to impress you.” He pocketed his hands.

You tilted your head in acknowledgement before turning to walk away. You stopped near the corridor.

“You don’t need to go overboard to impress anyone Yoongi. Anybody would be lucky to date you.” You said, not looking at him and then vanishing from his sight.

Yoongi had seemed to have heard you. Within the week, you had a text from Yoongi, noting a date and time and a simple ‘dress casual’ for you to mull over. You had been careful to keep it from his sister, subtly asking him about what he had planned when all he did was just wink and ruffle his hair, acting too cute – a bit too cute.

So when you reached the lobby of your small apartment complex, his car already at the front, waiting for you; you were a little bit more that curious.

“I have something good planned, I promise.” He said, first thing, revving the engine and taking off, not uttering a word despite your best attempts.

“A…karaoke bar…?” You gave Yoongi your best side eye, watching his face flush crimson as he parked.

“Yep,” he replied, breezy even if the back of his neck probably burned. “I’m going to show you how it’s done. Prepare to bow down to a king.” He spread his arms in the cramped quarters of the front seat.

“I’m sure, cause’ I’ve never been to one of these.” You rolled your eyes, getting out after him.

You pressed Yoongi to the wall of your bedroom hallway, the small giggle that escaped him at the thud music to your ears; hands skimming over his torso while his lips returned to their place against yours. Your tongue slipped delicately past the seam, barely brushing inside as you drew a breathy moan from him.

This wasn’t in your plans. Bringing a man back to your place after the first date – no matter if you’ve already slept with him once – wasn’t something you partook in usually but this was a special occasion.

Yoongi’s eyes were screwed shut, a crowing sound escaping that doll like mouth as he hit a high note. The artist turned in their grave, weeping to their mothers but you smiled nonetheless, watching him with a hand covering it. You couldn’t let him see, he’d just be so smug.

Ok, so maybe Yoongi was cute.

Or maybe, you liked him as well…or whatever.

He finished the song with the grace of a Grammy winner, a flourish added to his bow while he eyed you wickedly as the scores counted.

He won – even with a singing voice that would’ve scared Lucifer – he was better than you. And that’s when you knew how the rest of your evening was about to go.

“Y/N, baby,” he whined, hands trying to grab at you as you left his mouth, your eyes drawing to where your hands were busy getting familiar with the map you’d traced once before. He allowed you to raise his shirt, warm palms against the cooler skin of his soft belly, the line of his sternum, the collarbones that were oh so sensitive and then off his head, landing in a pool at your feet.

You stepped back, lips dug in by teeth, looking at the sight Min Yoongi presented.

Newly bleached hair stood high, too pale skin painted delectable pink, soft bones visible in places. He was panting, his chest rising and falling quickly while his abs was tight in anticipation.

He was stunning and you swore you were going to make him yours.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, hands fumbling with the steering of his car.

“You’re cute, that’s why,” You answered simply, watching him jerk in surprise before pouting.

“I’m not cute.”

There was a pause before you laughed. “Sure,” you stretched out a hand, a thumb swiping over his lips, parting them. “You are.”

Yoongi slowed the car, till it was sitting in a spot nearest the door – you wondered if it was subconscious. He looked at you, thumb still stroking over his skin with a vulnerability that had you cooing.

“Y/N,” he managed to breathe before you were reaching out for the key, turning off the engine and winking when he stuttered a little.

“Come with me.”

“What do you want Yoongi?” You queried, pressing against him again, everywhere. Your warmth seeped into him and he nearly buckled when you slipped out the button of his jeans.

“I…”

“Hmm?”

He trailed off completely, eyes wide and glazed. His jeans were soon slid off, leaving him to stand there in just his underwear, an almost painful looking bulge very obvious.

“Yoongi…do you want to go to the bedroom?” You prompted and all you got in reply was a whimper. You kissed the tip of his nose, intertwining your fingers to tug him to the door and through it, flinging it shut after his entry.

Your room was modest compared to his, no trophies or certificates decorating the walls and shelves but Yoongi didn’t seem to care about the room. His eyes were fixed solely on you as you led to the bed and with both hands on his shoulders, pressed him to sit.

“Y/N,” He muttered again.

“Yes, Yoongi,”

He shifted, squirming and you smoothed a hand across his head, tilting it up with a soft grip on his hair. “It hurts,” he said and you sighed at his adorable round face.

“Then let me help,” you sank down to the rug at the base of the bed, looking at the problem Yoongi was trying not to palm. “Do you want me to?”

“God yes,” Yoongi threw his head back. “I’ve wanted to do this again for so long, you have no idea.” He raised his hips, hands nearly ripping the underwear off of him. The glorious cock of Min Yoongi stood proud, curving just so at the very tip, head shiny from arousal and flushed deeply.

“Please help. Please touch me.” He whispered, prompting you to wrap a hand around him, right at the head, palm slicking in his lust as you ran over his skin, making the slide easier.

You awed at the image. Yoongi had his head still thrown back, throat working as he bit back groans, while a few slipped past, lewd and turning you on at the same time.

“Undress me, Yoongi.” You said and his eyes opened, meeting yours excitedly. He smiled when you gave a quick turn to your wrist in answer to the silent question and then his hands were on you, legs spreading further to accommodate both your movements.

Eagerly, he undid the halter tie of your top, letting it fall to bare your torso to him. He impatiently bent further to unzip the skirt, loose and blowy and you thanked your stars for the choice when it slid off easily, tossed in some unnamed corner of your room.

You returned to your task with gusto, feeling the atmosphere of the room, the tension seep into your skin, electrifying it as Yoongi wrapped a hand under your breast, flicking over your nipple. Another giggle escaped him, making you look up in confusion.

“What’s so funny?”

“This…just this; I’ve been dreaming about you naked with me ever since that night and like…wow, this is so much better when it’s sober.”

You rolled your eyes, stopping the hand job and getting to your feet. You towered over the man, his eyes once again looking up at you like you held every answer to his every question.

“Why don’t you get comfortable then? I want to ride you.” You said. Yoongi visibly gulped hands confident as he reached for the fabric of your panties, slipping them off your legs and almost reverently let them rest on the floor. He moved back till his legs were straight on the bed and you followed, crawling over to him before you reached into your nightstand for protection.

Throwing your knees on either side of him, your grabbed the headboard over his shoulders as he rolled the condom over his length and lined up with you, allowing you to sink on him, slowly, drawing out the torture for him as he let out – finally – a loud groan of pure pleasure. His eyes fell shut; mouth wide open and his body slumped, lying under you. His hands lay at your thighs, twitching once in a while as you rolled your hips.

Once again, the feeling of having Min Yoongi fill you blinded you. The stretch was perfection, the weight of him, each ridge and vein, everything was hand crafted to fit you. You cupped your own breasts, kneading them to accompany the spikes of pleasure that were supplied by the man below. You close your eyes, tweaking at the hardened buds and stroking over the sides of the sensitive flesh when you felt another hand right there.

Your labia parted, a thumb pressing hard to the nub of nerves that sparked another fire, even more intense. Your eyes flew open, to the man below you. His eyes were on you as well, watching with a hazy fire in his them as he bucked his hips to meet yours.

Slowly, taking all the incentive you could from his gaze, you began to move, your hips rising and crashing down on his.

A sheen of sweat soon collected on both of your bodies, tight coils of emotion knotting in your stomach, matching the harsh grasp he had on your hips, your ankles, wrists, wherever he managed to latch on you to anchor his own pleasure.

You didn’t know how long you continued your love making, exploding once on top of him, again with him next to you and another with his fingers buried deep inside your battered core, as his own bliss made him waddle to the bathroom to dispose of the evidence.

He returned quickly, joining you under the thick duvet with both arms wrapped around you.

“That was some date.” He sighed finally when the slam of a door outside made you both jump, the glow of intimacy jarred.

You waited as footsteps moved about, Yoongi pressed tight to your back and then…

“Y/N, are you in? Whose clothes…”

It was Yoona!

You turned to give Yoongi a shocked stare, his own blinking in contemplation as to how to handle the situation until it was too late because Yoona was quick to scream.

“OH MY GOD YOONGI!”

[acloudkat]

Gossip Girl 2.0

So. . . I was unsure of whether I was going to talk about this or not but… in the end, here we are!

I shall be talking about the Gossip Girl Reboot.

Now quick disclaimer and mild *excuse you* to HBO, please find ways to make your content accessible to Europe because there are those of us that are interested and unfortunately your "Max" service is US only and honestly i see no reasonable logic behind it. Therefore my means of getting access to this content shall not be discussed.

Extra disclaimer, there will be spoilers. Doi.

Now I am a big die hard fan of the original GG series and despite the outdated (to today’s standards) comparisons and slang, some of the topics hold up even today. For anyone curious or questioning my opinion, based on my generation, I am mildly in the middle as a Zelenial at 23. I did not grow up with GG, I learned about it when I was 14 but watched it for the first time when I was 19. Since, I have watched it up to 14-17 times; more than 10 for sure. So you can do with that as you please. The main reason I mention this is due to some articles and comments pointing out that maybe it’s a “Gen Z only media” or that “Millennials are just bitter cause it’s not theirs”. Keeping that in mind I will be as per usual showing the ups and downs of the show (so far and later on) from my own personal perspective.

After watching ep 1. (& now 2 which will be in a separate post after this) I have a few questions, comments AND concerns. So let’s get into those shall we :)

So let's do a little round up of our characters.

We have newcomer Zoya Lott that is moving to NYC on a Constance scholarship! But little did anyone in the show know, it was all a plot to get to be with her *half sister*. WHAT?! So the tldl on that is that Zoya and our other main character, Julien Calloway, share a mom! Mom, that i quote "left Julien's dad for Zoya's dad and the dads hate each other" because of which hate, they had absolutely forbidden their daughters from communicating. One thing led to another, a friend request was sent and this is basically the parent trap. . . . but for the kids. . .and they're aware of it cause they made it. . . I suppose? The parents haven't really been mentioned to matter in their plan, however, they do keep bringing up their middle names as "Zoya Jane and Julien Elizabeth" as clues left by their mother? Now some rumours around the web have connected the names to the Pride and Prejudice novels and while that would be extremely Gossip Girl-esque to do, and I am entirely up for that, hell yea!!! I'm wondering if it's as simple as... their mother's name was Elizabeth Jane... but maybe GG will be the one to discover that secret first? Other than that, Zoya is very much a very trusting "innocent type" character that probably has more past than we know about so it will be quite interesting to see how that elaborates going further into the series.

Then there is self-made influencer Julien Calloway. She is the new version of queen at Constance but as stated, they "don't do the patriarchy anymore". While she appears all smiles and kindness, personally i feel as if JC is kind of fake? She has things she cares about yes, but the moment someone or something interferes with her followers and her social standing or Obie (more on him later)

"the gloves come off and the claws come out" - Serena Van der Woodsen

When it comes to Julien I am honestly more curious to see who she is once you take away the followers and the media. Will she be an actual person or just a shallow obsessed spoiled brat? I just hope it won't be the typical story of "have to be perfect and have to have everyone like me because my mom left" ie. has mommy issues. That is how that cliche goes after all. So I am greatly hoping that's not going to be it for this one.

Obie Bergmann! We get introduced to Obie as Julien's boyfriend. Throughout ep 1, the things we learn about Obie are that he is basically the richest in the group, and lives in Dumbo. (irony from original GG for anyone that can guess it). He appears like a super nice and kind dude, a supportive boyfriend, kind of bland and tired of the relationship but the main thing that bothers me about him so far is his impossible to ignore "white guilt syndrome". For anyone unaware, "white guilt" is "remorse or shame felt by a white person with respect to racial inequality and injustice". While it's not a bad thing trying to make up for the in-equality in the world, here's hoping that's not his entire character cus that would get old quick.

Then we have the bestie, Audrey Hope. Audrey. . . is cold but to the point. Very analysing and observing. Definitely the type of character that would take all the info first and decide what to do after. I both like and am confused by her? Her cold mannerisms are quite enjoyable among the masses of drama and emotion I won't lie. However, i do predict a juicy threesome between her, boyfriend Aki and one Max Wolfe. Honestly, I am highly interested in how their relationship evolves.

Aki Menzies is kind of a mystery as of the moment. As to be expected with just 1 episode, we won't know too much about all the characters. He is the very supportive boyfriend that tries to keep the peace between everyone.

Max Wolfe on the other hand appears like the much more flamboyant version of Chuck Bass, if Chuck Bass had a supportive family environment and no limits on who he's dating. That's more or less for him but kuddos for his 0 hesitation to basically have a pic of his dick sent to everyone. I will never not find that hilarious. But again, between these three is my prediction for some juicy interactions. Cause to be fully honest, the chemistry is undeniable.

Monet de Haan. Ah. She is honestly the savage that we need around here. She is the control and the power behind Julien's brand honestly. I am curious how come she helps Julien with her brand rather than have her own? If we go off anything said in the episode, she is more feared than adored so maybe that's why? But Monet honey, fear can also have a following, just . . a different one.

And then there's Luna La, "The stylist" while we don't know much about her, some of her one liners are actively giving me life. Her and Monet are definitely a package deal and i wonder if there is juicier gossip there that we don't know yet.

Lastly, we have our new Gossip Girl. Young teacher, Kate Keller. I won't lie, i did not see us knowing who GG is from the get go. I am however wondering whether this will drag her down to the level of highschoolers (besides the fact that she looks younger than some of them xD) Something that is bothering me in the reboot however, is that technically, characters that represent adults, spying on minors??? Like they even make the point that "i shouldn't have these, i should be in jail" in regards to having almost naked pictures of the kids. Like it's not really okay??? In the original yea no one knew who GG was but they always knew it was someone their age. The teachers didn't care at those times. But they do now and I am not fully sure how okay it is.

And of course, the extras like some of the other teachers behind GG and the parents. We however, don't know too much about them as of now so we shall see soon. If any new characters are introduced they will be addressed but for now, onto the episode!

The half sisters plot is definitely interesting so I would love to know where the whole middle names thing will go. The story line I'm most interested in at the moment however is between Audrey, Max and Aki. I want to see that unwind into something horrendous but then beautiful! It has so much potential in my opinion. In terms of character development however i want to see who Julien is without all of her fame and followers. When the focus is not the media and the attention. I want to see that Julien.

The first episode definitely introduced us to a lot of things at once so far that is my take on them. I'm sure that in the future both the teachers and parents will be a bigger part but one thing is abundantly clear. Unlike the OGGG, there won't be more than maybe 2-3 seasons depending on the ages of the students. The teachers won't follow them onto college will they? Or will things drastically change along the way? It was rather amusing seeing them talk about all the old characters however, and reference the OG Gossip Girl. I am vaguely offended that they categorised twitter as "a glorified chatroom for memes for people over 30". Like dude. . . that hit me hard. I am happy that FB was never even mentioned as existing tho! Cause let's be honest that is not the "hip" thing anymore. But the rules they put down at the party definitely made my head spin. Had to listen to them twice to even get what was happening.

But that's probably enough of me babbling on about this xD If you want to find this on an apparently dying type of media, here's my blog post about it as well lol: https://acloudkat.wordpress.com/?p=960

[cara-terra-pace]

RICH NEIGHBORS AU: THE GABRIELING

(Technically this is a bonus part because part three is in America but the Gabriel fallout happens before that so here you go, Gabriel learns that Wow, he actually has children who need love and care! Who knew???)

Part 1 Part 2

Okay so how did Mr Recluse himself react to our two Watermelon Kids being revealed as MAJORLY rich and also FAMOUS?

Well, I think it goes a little something like this:

-Gabriel is big dumb

-and Nathalie is major tired

-so she just kind of tells him about the announcement over text and goes home to go to bed because at this point, she has attended all these major events in person for Gabriel and she’s just SO TIRED

-and he’s freaking out

-“I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOLD DIGGERS OH GOD OH GOD I CALLED THE DAUGHTER OF THE FOUNDERS OF DCI A GOLD DIGGER”

-“how is that Nino boy rich, he... he carries bubbles around?!”

-“father, most people have this thing they do. It’s called fun. I know you’ve never heard of it but it’s a normal thing people do.” (Felix has no qualms about talking back to his father.)

-“well, father, we kinda tried to tell you. Marinette was literally wearing a matching diamond necklace, tiara, and earrings when she last came over.” (Adrien has many qualms but even he realizes his father isn’t... the best dad?)

-Gabriel is falling apart, having openly disrespected two powerful people and their overprotective parents

-but they’re not mad about his disrespect towards them, no no.

-they’re mad about the fact that he legit seems to not care about his sons at ALL

-now they’re two very rich and powerful people who know he’s neglecting his children and so is his wife and also he’s a bit emotionally abusive when he does talk to them which???

-what else would we expect of Monsieur “I have nothing to lose (except the sons I don’t care about lol)” Agreste?

-so he basically is a big suck up, praising the fabric Mari uses for something, the well put together design, anything and everything

-Nino is a bit harder but he’s like “very impressive people have been coming out of the woodwork, children are the future blah de blah blah blah”

-he says, still neglecting his children

-but these sour patch kids?

-they’re not having it.

-they rip him to pieces

-Marinette goes for the company, Nino for the character and he is K.O.ed in two twitter threads

-it’s absolutely hilarious for Felix and mildly concerning for Adrien but he’s very proud of his successful best friends so he tries to focus on that instead.

-Gabriel and Emile’s neglect kind of comes to light. Emile wiggles her way out of it, saying she calls and sends them letters and gifts and does her best to still talk and get to know them and while that is true people are feeling a little sus.

-but Gabriel has all the time in the world to spend with his kids, but he doesn’t and that’s what ultimately makes him fall out of public favor.

-Nathalie becomes their primary caregiver, and she is a little bit relieved in a way, because these are HER BOYS and now she can make sure they’re always taken care of

-gorilla helps when he can too, he’d never leave his favorite kids. It’s really sweet actually.

-Gabriel still lives in the house, still designs, whatever

-but a different head designer has taken over that portion of the company and is bringing fresh ideas as the rebrand from Gabriel to Agreste, so it applies more to the Agreste boys than just Gabriel.

-the two still do photo shoots (did I mention that before? Lol, well they do photoshoots) but def not as often

-they have lives with their s/o besties 😊

-“businessmen don’t giggle Marinette”

-“then what do they do”

-“chuckle fiercely”

-Marinette proceeds to giggle for five minute straight

-they were most def making fun of Gabriel

-and he absolutely knew that and that’s why they did it right in front of him

-but he can’t exactly do anything cause he has like, no influence anymore. He may own Agreste, but he’s not the face

-he inadvertently sabotaged himself with that, since Adrien and Felix are the faces of the company and people trust them over Gabriel, especially after the neglect stuff

-basically Gabriel is faced with the consequences of what he does because he does a lot of messed up stuff to his sons.

-and maybe that brings Nino and Adrien to confessing their feelings Idk just saying

-can you imagine how much gen z on twitter makes fun of Gabriel Agreste now?

-salty fan girls never forget

-they’re mad because their uwu baby boys are being neglected and to quote MrsAgrestee2273

-“my huby doesnt deseve 2 be treeted like that!!!”

-no one knows why Marinette and Nino retweeted that but you know

-they just kind of say “iconic” and roast Gabriel some more

-“Hey Gabriel did you know it’s not Christmas. Sorry I just assumed since you look like a candy cane you were going for a Christmas vibe”

-that’s the most game of the roasts

-Gabriel is a meme now

-Marinette and Nino retweet a lotttt of them

-“that’s kind of mean”

-“Adrien, I love you so much, but it’s not mean, it’s hilarious”

-and they all lived happily ever after

-but the watermelon kids have more adventures

-like in America

-Gabriel has literally no say in whether or not the twins go to America

-they just basically send a selfie of them in sunglasses giving the camera a peace sign as they’re boarding the plane

-I mean, Nathalie is going with them so it’ll be fineee

That’s all I’ve got for now! Just a note, this isn’t part 3, this is just THE GABRIELING, since part 3 has already been started and is the whole “America Adventure” starring Marinette, Nino, Adrien, Felix, and their tired chaperone Nathalie Sancouer.

Taglist: @animegirlweeb @akana-sama @insomniac-nerd-posts-things

[itsclydebitches]

Welcome back, everyone!

A quick note before we begin: after the previous recap a couple of lovely friends and anons explained to me some discrepancies in my work, mainly about how Fox's semblance functions and how much info we’ve gotten on that previously. They're worth a read if (like me) you haven't read After the Fall and would like a more accurate picture of this whole project. However, I have to admit that sadly past!me didn’t think through the usefulness of those posts and tag them appropriately... so they’re just somewhere in the mess that is the “rwby” and “mymetas” tags. Still, I wanted to acknowledge their existence, both for your potential use and as another disclaimer along the lines of, “I’m reading what amounts to a sequel and recapping as I go. Prepare for a bumpy ride.” 

We're on chapter five now (of twenty-two! Holy god I’m slow!!) and truth be told I actually enjoyed this opening. We're in Yatsuhashi's head this time around and he's likewise enjoying Vacuo's Meeting Spot, an "artificial oasis" that reminds him of his mother's healing gardens. I wonder what "healing" means in this particular context. A generalized benefit to your body, mind, and spirit in the form of meditation? Or a more literal, magic-based healing with its roots in aura use? In a world with RWBY's possibilities, a healing garden that someone like Ozpin might run—let's take time to settle ourselves and reflect—vs. one that someone like Jaune would create—let me use my semblance to literally heal your wounds—are rather different things. I'd be interested to know which category (or another) Yatsuhashi's mother falls under.

Regardless, it's a satisfyingly quiet scene. Yatsuhashi comments on both the beauty of the oasis as well as how that beauty, in turn, raises the desert in his eyes. Nothing like not having to deal with a hard landscape to make that landscape seem more bearable, alluring even, and this moment managed to capture that feeling rather well. The only downside is that, in a recurring theme, I once again got whiplash upon realizing that Yatsuhashi is not standing alone in the peace of the early morning, like the description had led me to believe. Apparently Velvet is there. As well as the whole freaking student body! Myers* has this strange habit of writing one kind of scene only to suddenly reveal that the scene is actually radically different from what his writing had encouraged you to imagine. Yatsuhashi is going on about healing, natural beauty, and the peace of an early morning. What's peaceful about dozens of students speculating beside him? Have you ever met a school of sleep deprived young adults dealing with a surprise announcement before breakfast? That’s as far from peaceful as humanly possible. 

Mood, kid. 

(*Also yes, we're working to write Myers' name correctly this chapter. If I'm going to drag his work so much the least I can do is not add an additional 'e' to his name lol.)

Along with the entirety of Shade Academy to break the peace, Yatsuhashi tells us about dromedons and mole crabs. The former, according to the wiki, is a "camel-like Grimm that can spit acidic venom" and also sports an armored hump. Fun! The latter, according to Yatsuhashi, is a "horrifying" creature that "slept just below the sand and could cut a person in two with their massive claws." And they're the normal, non-grimm animals! Screw Salem. Humanity needs huntsmen just to keep people safe from the everyday wildlife. Crabs cut people in two, Zwei is capable of being set on fire and launched at a mech... it's a miracle that anyone ever steps outside their home. 

I do write this with full knowledge that Australia exists, but still.

As Yatsuhashi moves away from thoughts of killer crabs, we begin what is easily the strangest bit of repetition this chapter. Yatsuhashi's shoulder is sore from having tried to break down the hideout door and I'm going, "Wait no, you used your sword” and frantically flipping back through my PDF. To Myers' credit, there is a detail that suggests Yatsuhashi uh... rammed the door? I think? Last chapter he "Stepped forward and Fox heard him grunt with exertion." That's the only thing I can think of that would explain his shoulder unexpectedly being sore hours later: if he'd charged it instead of doing something insane like, oh, I don't know, trying the doorknob first. Odd choice of continuity, but okay. What's super weird though is that Myers repeats the detail again:

Yatsuhashi crossed his arms, then grimaced as a fresh pain shot through his shoulder. Come on, Aura, he thought. Do your thing.

I'm sorry, how badly did you hurt your shoulder? Why does a supposedly intelligent student immediately resort to what is apparently somewhat serious self-harm when faced with a closed door? Why is Myers choosing this of all things to tell us about? Is this incredibly random shoulder injury going to hinder Yatsuhashi during the test? Spoilers: I don't think it does considering that I searched for "shoulder" in my PDF and there's just a lot of hands on shoulders coming up, but nothing that, at first glance, seems to make this kind of set up necessary. So I say again: weird.

Meanwhile, weirdness doesn’t even acknowledge the continued inconsistencies with aura. Jaune heals a cut on his cheek instantaneously, but hours later Yatsuhashi needs to gripe at his aura to hop-to already? So either Jaune’s aura is far more powerful than the average person’s (never established outside of Pyrrha’s “You have a lot of it” comment), or Yatsuhashi really hurt his shoulder that badly. Hard enough that with the rest of the night and early morning to heal him, his aura is still working overtime. 

Alrighty then. 

So the whole student body is just kind of hanging out, striking up casual conversations. Velvet asks how Yatsuhashi is doing and he says he's fine, "Thanks to you." Wait... what did Velvet do? I mean yeah, she was there last night and she's here now, but so is the rest of the team. I don't really recall her helping Yatsuhashi in any specific way. As is the norm now, I remain mildly, endlessly confused by this novel.

But we don’t have time to delve into the gratitude attached to events I’m not actually sure happened. There’s more chit chat going on as everyone tries to figure out why they've been summoned so early in the morning. "It's not always about us," Velvet says and I nod along in agreement even though I know, as a reader, that it's absolutely about them. "As I'm often reminding Coco."

Coco fires back with how it "could be about us," noting that it would be pretty coincidental if something else was going on right now, plus Rumpole may have realized they were out last night. (Remember, Yatsuhashi wasn't subtle about trying to break down that door). This is one of those moments where I agree wholeheartedly with Coco's logic, but kind of hate to encourage the 'It's all about us' attitude. Velvet might be smiling, but as previously established this is an ongoing theme within RWBY's characterization that it could really stand to do without.

Yatsuhashi then offers some "unsolicited advice" about how Rumpole could afford to slow down some and "let things come at their own pace," to which I respond, "Huh?" Where in the world did this come from? Previously the whole group—including Yatsuhashi, considering he didn't speak out against it—was concerned that Rumpole wasn't doing enough to track down the Crown. That is, do more, move faster, get it done already. You haven’t gotten it done? Okay, we’ll do it instead. Now he's providing this subtle criticism in response to a meeting, as if that's an inherently odd or bad thing for a headmistress to do. You want the woman to do extra work faster but slow down when it comes to her actual job? 

It reads to me like Myers is trying to put a lot of wise-sounding dialogue into Yatsuhashi's mouth—you know, the Asian character who keeps bringing up things like meditation and mindfulness—but hasn't bothered to think about whether that dialogue makes any sense. Of course, we then immediately backtrack to reveal that his comment was really about Coco not pushing the team too hard, but... that's not what he said? And Coco clearly didn't get the message. And the hidden meaning of the words didn't come across too well if your reader is squinting at what was said until the author has to straight up go, 'This is what Yatsuhashi actually meant.' Maybe just... have him say that? Give us some significant looks towards Coco, at the very least. Something to clue us in here that Yatsuhashi is (weirdly) blaming Rumpole for Coco's flaw.

Then he just ruins the whole scene further by mentally commenting that if all this extra work was hard on them, "what would it do to SSSN?" Ugh, look. I don't even like SSSN very much. I didn't shed a tear when they left the main series and would shrug if they ever came back, so you know the story is ragging on them too much when I'm standing up for the group at the bottom of my Character Adoration list. The duality of 'SSSN is so incompetent I don't even know how they're alive' and 'That, in comparison, makes us the best team ever' got old forty pages ago, yet I have the distinct feeling it won't be letting up any time soon.

Headmaster Theodore finally arrives to break up this thrilling conversation and the students erupt into thunderous applause. "It was what [he] expected. It was what he inspired whenever he appeared." That... is absolutely hilarious. This guy is so much of a showman, so insanely over the top, that he expects people to treat his everyday appearance as a spectacle worthy of praise and they agree. You know who he reminds me of?

The king himself, Alex Louis Armstrong. I'm digging this already. It's absurd and I will forever question RWBY's ability to balance comedy with its darker tones... but I'm counting this one as a win so far. There's got to be something to praise about this book.

Just as important, we get a description of Theodore's positively insane outfit. I immediately googled to see if someone had drawn him and the fandom did not disappoint. I'm not going to include the image here in case the artist, Edisu, doesn't want their work reposted like that, but I highly recommend you check out the link and get a visual.

The only thing left to say about this fashion monstrosity is that he has a "flowing gray-blue cape, the color of a stormy sky." I'll let our favorite textile engineer make my point for me:

Honestly, between Ruby's cape and Weiss' hair someone is going to end up in trouble one of these days.

In this world free of horrific cape tragedies, we've segued into a flashback which is, frankly, kind of boring compared to the others we’ve gotten. It's just the group meeting Theodore, information and characterization that could have easily been distributed to the audience in the present. It's starting to feel like the structure of including a flashback each chapter is hindering Myers somewhat, just because every chapter doesn’t necessarily need one, but that’s far from the biggest issue to tackle. 

We learn that Theodore (really Rumpole) did a bunch of research on all the students involved in the Vytal Festival and they're very pleased that Team CFVY has joined them now, despite the horrific circumstances. We again hear about how judgmental Coco can be, that her judgements are rarely wrong... but if they are wrong she's the last to admit it. So really that's less of a 'This character has good instincts about other people' and more 'This character is just, as said, judgmental and then stubborn about it when she’s wrong.' Theodore, however, seems like a cool dude:

“Ah, she speaks!” Theodore strode toward Velvet. His voice softened. “You didn’t fail, my dear. You fought. You stayed, far longer than anyone would have asked or expected of a student. And now you’re here. Do you want to be here? Will you fight for Shade the way you did for Beacon, Velvet Scarlatina?”

This is great. This is the kind of reassurance I would expect from a headmaster who, thus far, has received a fair amount of praise. Unlike his students, Theodore understands the risks Beacon students took and when it was time for them to make a life-saving retreat. He's inspiring while also being empathetic and honestly? That's the most I've had that 'You're a good person' sense from RWBY in a very long time.

Now watch Theodore turn out to be evil lol.

He cuts the tension of the serious conversation by proclaiming that if any of them doubt whether they should be here, they should take it up with him via a fight. Theodore announces this while striking a pose. I say again:

We then get some more reflection on how Theodore compares to Ozpin: 

Ozpin had believed in you before you did, almost like he knew your true potential, despite what your transcripts or fighting abilities looked like. Theodore believed you had potential, but you had to earn it and prove yourself to him first.

I agree with that and I'm pleased to see that this time the comparison didn't involve criticizing Ozpin in an effort to build Theodore up. It’s likewise a useful description and I think it provides us with at least one interpretation of why the RWBYJNR group has discarded Ozpin so thoroughly. The addition "despite what your transcripts or fighting abilities looked like" implies that Ozpin sees potential in everyone. It doesn't matter how presumably flawed you might be—in physical strength, like Jaune; in morals, like Lionheart— Ozpin will see the good in you and give that good a fighting chance. That's why he's the one tasked with doing something as crazy as uniting the whole world because he's the one person capable of seeing that potential in literally everyone. That much is true. But the flipside of this is that, unlike when in interacting with someone like Theodore, no one expects to have to work for Ozpin's faith, his praise... his trust. With Theodore you have to "earn" the respect he gives you right from the start. With Ozpin it's free! So surely that means such faith extends to every possible situation, right? 

Which is when you run into trouble. When the situation is no longer "I'll give you a chance in my school" but something much more serious like "I'm risking the whole world on your character." Ozpin is an optimist, but he's also cautious as hell (with good reason), so though he sees the potential in everyone he knows he can't let his own hope for humanity blind him to reality. That person might betray you. They might turn on you. They might give up and hurt you in the process... even if you want to believe that people are simply better than that. Wanting doesn’t make it so. 

If someone who had as little interaction with Ozpin as Team CFVY did nevertheless developed such a strong sense of, "Yeah, he believes in everyone!" then it seems likely that Team RWBY, already sporting a special connection with him, thought they were shoe-ins for every possible secret and task they might ask of him. Their time at Beacon was defined largely by both intentional favoritism and coincidences that could arguably be read as such. Ruby gets to go to Beacon two years early. She gets to be team leader. The sisters stay together despite teams supposedly being random. Team RWBY goes on missions not meant for first years. Team RWBY is given a nudge-nudge-wink-wink about The White Fang so that they can do what they’re able to help. Team RWBY was friends with Pyrrha, next in line for the Maiden powers. They got used to Ozpin simultaneously solving all the real problems that showed up and letting them play at being important, all while the rest of the school had to follow normal rules. They’re special. But then Beacon falls, the game is over, and they're blindsided by having to earn trust and privileges in the real world. Playing at huntresses in the safety of your headmaster’s school is over and Ruby in particular never got that there was a massive difference between that and a real war where the fate of the world hangs on your trustworthiness and ability to keep it together. It’s why she announces to the Argus guards that she is a huntress while attacking the people she’s meant to protect. 

Which would be a fantastic arc to give them if the show ever had someone sit the group down and tell them how childish and selfish they're being. Instead, they're still being handed that trust and privilege—you can go into Atlas despite stealing from the military, you get your licenses years early, you get to carry an incalculably valuable relic around—while likewise still getting mad that the adults around them don't give them more. This comparison here, though realistically just a throwaway passage in a novel rather iffily connected to its original series, starts to highlight the excellent situation RT set up... and then didn't do anything with.

But I've gone on about this long enough. There are just two other things I'd like to point out about this flashback. The first is that it may help us get a handle on Ozpin's age (if we're willing to accept these books as canon, despite their other inconsistencies). Earlier we're told that "Headmaster Theodore’s whole style should have been ridiculous for a man likely in his forties, maybe older" and here, in describing their different approaches, we get "Headmaster Ozpin, who had been younger but seemed much older." So that could potentially put Ozpin his his late 30s if he's noticeably younger than Theodore in his 40s. Or, in his 40s if the "maybe older" part is right and Theodore is in his 50s. I can’t imagine that Theodore is in his 60s. Not much to go on, admittedly, but I'll take whatever I can get. The interesting thing is that if Ozpin really is that young and Qrow is now (presumably) in his early 40s, wouldn't that have made them basically the same age during his Beacon days? Perhaps even giving us an Ozpin who was younger than his oldest students? I don't know. It's really less of a definitive piece of information and more messy speculation to add to the pile—which is par the course for RWBY nowadays. 

The second detail I wanted to point out was that despite all their supposed differences, Headmaster Theodore and Professor Rumpole have a very Ozpin-Glynda relationship going on. For all the cosmetic changes it boils down to the same dynamic. Both headmasters are powerful, quirky men who at first glance appear to be rather useless at their jobs, requiring the confident headmistress to swoop in and manage the daily running of a school. Those two do the heavy lifting while their bosses work wonders from behind the scenes (a la The Wizard). When I read Rumpole chastising Theodore for claiming he investigated the students, or when she reminds him that there isn't time to have an impromptu duel with his students, I couldn't help but think about Glynda reluctantly letting Ozpin invite Ruby to Beacon early, or cleaning up the cafeteria while he shrugs off the mess. To be clear, I don't necessarily mean this as a criticism, just an observation. In truth I'm not sure how I feel about it, but it adds to the overall sense that Shade is just Beacon with a slightly different coat of paint. As I've mentioned previously, for all the text's insistence that Shade isn't like the other schools, the story hasn't done a good job of demonstrating that cultural difference in any meaningful way and similarities like this only add to the feeling that this isn't really a unique Kingdom—or at least not one with a firm enough identity to be persuasively unique. Same rule breaking team sneaking out on their own mission. Same secondary team who’s talented, but not as special as the protagonists. Same strange man with his responsible woman running the school. The details differ, obviously, but the structure feels largely the same. 

As mentioned above, once the flashback ends Theodore tries to spar with one of the students but is quickly shut down by Rumpole because, you know, they have a meeting to hold. Apparently there have been complaints lately from the local security about Shade students interfering with official huntsmen business.

“I told you it was about us,” Coco muttered.

Coco, when you hear that people are pissed that you, an unlicensed student, are disrupting the careers of professionals every night the takeaway should not be, 'Aha! I knew it was all about me.'

Yatsuhashi at least provides a more nuanced perspective. "This wasn’t right, though. If they hadn’t interfered, those Huntsmen would have kidnapped an innocent person." He's right. They did help someone, but what they've failed to learn is that an individual good deed does not excuse the unlawful steps they took in getting there. If Team CFVY had just been out on the town and happened to spot some shady characters pulling shit, then put a stop to their kidnapping, that's fine. That's heroic. What is not heroic is them going out with the express purpose of fixing a situation that trained professionals told them they should not be trying to fix—key word being “trying,” given that they all understand Rumpole’s worry that they’ll make things worse. It was enough to send them back home last night... after Yatsuhashi failed to break into the hideout. The problem is not the "I helped someone who needed it" part but rather the "I'm arrogant enough to think that my presence is necessary" bit. 

If having students conducting investigations was wanted or necessary, it would be a part of the curriculum: acknowledged or otherwise. AKA yes, Ruby. It would be very helpful if you'd head on off to Mountain Glenn, under the observation of a seasoned huntsmen, and report back if there's any dubious activity going on over there. Ozpin said, 'Yes please' to the extra (highly controlled) help while these professionals are saying, 'No thanks.' The fact that Team CFVY acts is if they're justified in continuing this investigation—and worse, that the story keeps validating those feelings—undermines their otherwise heroic actions. RWBY really is a series that struggles with giving its protagonists compelling reasons for getting involved in the fight. ‘Because I want to help’ might be a noble motivation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should. The Mountain Glenn mission was like a chef allowing a talented, aspiring teen to help them with a dish, all of it done under their tutelage. Team CFVY’s investigation is like the teen sneaking into the kitchen after dark to doctor all the prep for the next day’s cooking under the assumption that they’ll make it even better. Hell, maybe they will! But that’s not the point. Your help was not invited — explicitly denied, actually —and there’s a very good chance you’ll mess something up.

So because this group of eight continually insists that they know best, the whole school is required to stay on campus after nightfall. Huzzah! 

It’s just too bad these consequences hurt others just as much as Team CFVY. The other students are pissed about this. I would be too! Team CFVY remains adamant though that they did the right thing, no guilt here, relying on the reader inaccurately comparing ‘saving lives’ with ‘losing free time off campus’ in order to come out on Team CFVY's side. They still fail to understand that helping people is not the reason they’re being punished. 

Theodore and Rumpole reiterate that they are working on a solution and that no one else should be getting involved. Team CVFY is no more persuaded by this speech than they were the previous ones. The announcement then segues into discussion of the former Haven students which produces... boos from the audience?? My god, what is wrong with this school? I mean I get it, school is brutal—both in real life and fiction—especially when the social dynamics of your school are written much more like a high school than a college, but usually if characters are going to drag new students it's in the semi-privacy of a bathroom or an empty hall. Groaning over the existence of war survivors in front of your headmaster is a level of confident cruelty I didn't expect.

Then again, RWBY is the show that gave us Cardin pulling on Velvet's ears in the middle of the cafeteria, so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.

Theodore quickly bypasses the whole 'A decent number of my students hate these other students' issue and instead acknowledges that it is "difficult to adjust to a new school, an entirely new group of classmates, and most of all to life in Vacuo. Yet some of you have been separated from your original training teams.” Which is a nice way of saying that a good number of these teammates are dead. So what's the solution here?

Reinitiation Ceremony!

I'm sarcastic, but in all honesty I don't hate this idea. Far from it. Partly because I have a strong love of competitions in shonen-esque stories. Tests, trials, the obligatory tournament arc... they've always been some of my favorite parts of a series, largely because they allow the author to develop whacky and creative challenges that show off important characterization. See: Killua using a skateboard during the tunnel run before deciding that if Gon can manage running it, he can too; or Izuku using the mines and a piece of scrap to blast himself ahead of Bakugo and Todoroki. The structure of such tests forces characters to demonstrate creativity and critical thinking skills alongside strength, and that in turn reminds us of why they're our heroes. RWBY managed this a little bit with the Vytal Festival, but overall I don’t think the teams did anything particularly impressive to win. Team RWBY worked together, Nora hit people really hard with her hammer, Weiss' injury pissed off Yang enough to tap into more power... it was all stuff we had seen before and very little of it required planning or creativity. The Vytal Festival functioned more to set up the plot developments of Volume 3, which is fine, though for a while I had hoped that we would get a huntsmen license exam to do this sort of work... which obviously didn’t happen. Disappointing, but we’re at least getting something like that here. 

So I love the concept. I even love the general reasoning behind holding the ceremony at all. Anyone who had spent five minutes on this blog knows that I think the groups need to learn to play well with others. Yet I also can't deny that the team dynamics provide stability for these characters, even if they've come to rely on that stability to an unhealthy degree. We've got students whose teams were presented to them not just as a professional tool, but their primary support system. You live with these people, attend all the same classes, spend your free time together, and survive life-threatening situations on a fairly regular basis. It's work, family, and friendship all rolled into one, so if the headmaster suddenly says that you get a new team, that's a whole lot more devastating than just learning that you've got a new project group to deal with. It shouldn't have come to that—a school looking to teach a profession that requires working with a wide variety of individuals should never have told four students to rely one each other and each other alone—but now that we're here you can't just break them apart with no notice. Especially with a traumatic war going on. It's hard to come to a new school, meet new people, learn a new culture... so let me rip away the one piece of familiarity you have left.

Of course, I don't really think that the teams will be broken up irrevocably, if at all. Rather, I simply want to acknowledge that despite my appreciation for these kinds of stories and despite my desire that the teams get some distance... it shouldn't be done like this. Even more-so when it’s abundantly clear—to us if not the instructors—that this little stunt is causing their students to re-live a whole bucket load of trauma. Yatsuhashi thinks about how this feels like an “out of body experience” and “It reminded [him] uncomfortably of the evacuation of Beacon Academy… He felt his breath catch in his throat.” Coco’s order to stick together “[brought] him back to the moment,” re-emphasizing that he was lost in the past for a while there. He’s clearly struggling. 

Now, to be fair, this could all fall under the category of flawed characters. Meaning, anytime something awful happens in fiction we can interpret that as a skill on the part of the author: they wanted to write a scenario where the teachers are screwing up and unintentionally hurting their students. Or they know they’re hurting their students and consider that to be an acceptable sacrifice under the justification of ‘They have to get over Beacon at some point!’ There are lots of ways to paint this as Myers/RT writing complex, human characters who make ambiguous choices—a testament to their ability to write “realistically.” But to be frank I don’t really buy it. Simply because I’ve had a lot of experience now with how RWBY handles subjects like trauma and it’s only rarely been written respectfully and engagingly. I could be proven wrong as the novel continues, but it seems more likely that Myers wrote the instructors coming up with this test, wrote Yatsuhashi panicking over it, and intends to continually imply that these two things are separate plot points. Bringing both together in a narratively useful way would require acknowledging the instructors’ motivations—Why this test? Why now? Do they realize the harm they’re causing? If so, do they think it’s worth it?—and then coming to some sort of resolution, either via some recovery on CFVY’s part due to the instructors’ choices (this test did help us move past Beacon), or the instructors learning something about empathy and trauma via CFVY’s reaction (we never should have done this). I highly doubt we’ll get either.  

Thus, everyone is (justifiably) horrified. The teams are gone and either the shock of that made Team CFVY prioritize feelings of safety over strategy, or they're just not going to demonstrate any of the intelligence I look for in this kind of arc, because they immediately start obsessing over staying together. 

He needed to keep his team close to him. Especially Velvet. If they weren’t separated, they couldn’t be assigned to different teams.

Yatsuhashi, that is not at all what Rumpole told you:

“It’s already begun,” Rumpole said. “Everything you do from this moment forward will factor into your evaluations for new teams.”

Where in the world did you get the idea that you wouldn't be assigned a new team so long as you stuck with your old one? If I were one of the instructors here that choice would make me more likely to separate them. "Everything you do from this moment," Rumpole says, meaning that how they respond to this information is a part of the test. The team that panics and refuses to separate is the team that either can't function without one another, or at the very least believes that they can't. They're not willing to work with others and thus they're precisely the type that needs to learn this skillset. You're the ones they'll want to give new teammates to.

Of course, fate has different ideas about how things should go down. And by "fate" I mean "A completely ridiculous plot device." Team CFVY is separated because... the crowd is large I guess? It’s ridiculous. Four fighters already standing beside one another and who are now hyper-focused on staying together are not going to get swept away by a Shade size crowd who probably also want to stick with their own teammates. There are far better, far more convincing ways to keep them apart. Ozpin shot students one-by-one into the forest! Literally anything other than what we got, really.  

Still, that’s what we wound up with. Yatsuhashi and Coco both try to keep the team together only for the immense power of other people existing putting a stop to their plan. Alrighty then. Before they’re dramatically swept away on different ships, however, we do get two other noteworthy bits of information that I'd like to end on. The first is Rumpole’s announcement that “When you reach your destination, your goal will be to locate a gold figurine and bring it back to the school” to which Fox replies, “Great. Glad this is fair for everyone. Who can see.” And you know what? He's right. Maybe Fox and I will both be proven wrong (I feel like I'm writing that a lot this chapter...) but unless there's some miscommunication here or a surprise in store, a goal of "locat[ing] a gold figurine" is indeed a sight based challenge and, when placed in a test that is deliberately separating Fox from his team, puts him at a severe disadvantage.

The second is simply that the year levels of the students will not be a factor in the creation of new teams. “What year we are? Yatsu thought. This can’t be right. How could a first-year keep up with fourth-years?” to which I respond, "Um... that's the entire show?" The webseries RWBY is about how Team RWBY, starting out as first years, has surpassed everyone around them, to the point where they're now beating the best team in Atlas. Time-wise they're still second years—far as I can figure out, anyway—so if second years can beat elite military operations, a first year can stand toe-to-toe with second, third, and fourth years. More crucial to Yatsuhashi's thought process—because as an in-world character he doesn't necessarily know what Team RWBY has been up to post-Volume 3—he's still seen how well first years did at Beacon. Ruby was let in two years early. Pyrrha is such a phenomenally talented fighter her face is on their cereal boxes. A first year, Yang, went on to compete in the Vytal Tournament final (even if it was rigged. Yatsuhashi doesn't know that), and Team CFVY fought beside a number of first years at the Battle of Beacon. Now, you all know that I think education and experience are damn important. I'm not saying Yatsuhashi is flat-out wrong to question whether there would be any issues attached to slamming, say, a first year, two second years, and a fourth year into one team (especially when you consider practical questions like going to classes), but the general takeaway of "How could they keep up?" seems a tad strange. You know first years can keep up. You watched it happen, both in your former school's curriculum—first years get to go on an upper-level mission—and in real life battle. This knee-jerk response reads as even worse after five chapters of looking down on Team SSSN. Team CFVY really thinks highly of themselves, huh. 

Honestly, it feels like our authors didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the implications of the dialogue/thoughts they’re giving to the characters which is, again, par for the course at this point. Like the questions attached to the test, this feels less like giving Yatsuhashi a flaw (he, as an in-world character, hasn't bothered to think through whether his knee-jerk assumption about first years is supported by his experiences) and more like a flaw of the creators. That sounds like a legitimate concern—in the same way that Yatsuhashi's advice to Rumpole sounds generically wise—but poke at it a bit and you start finding a number of cracks. An author who is well aware of the world they've built and strives to adhere to it might have had Yatsuhashi acknowledge some of the amazing things he's seen first years do and still conclude that there are problems with this decision. That's legit. As it stands, Yatsuhashi just sounds ignorant and (again) overly confident, which I don't trust to be a moment of character insight as opposed to an authorial blip.

Which is about where we end. The team is split on different airships, no one is happy about it, and we're left with this somewhat unsettling image:

Headmaster Theodore was waving and whooping, like it was all some terrific game, while Professor Rumpole watched silently, her hair whipping around in the wind and an unsettling grin on her face.

This gives me some hope that the story will treat the problems attached to this test respectfully. The description of Theodore acting "like it was all some terrific game" is a mark against his character and Rumpole straight up has an "unsettling grin on her face." Is she one of the baddies? Potentially. Will I ever again get adult characters who aren't depicted as inept, traitorous, or just so flawed that they unwittingly cause great damage to their students? Probably not. These two desires remain constantly at war with one another. RWBY introduces issues that the story should tackle, but the only issues it acknowledges are those attached to the adults. So we have everyone doing a range of iffy things, but only the elders are likely to be punished or (better yet) learn something over the course of the tale. The double standard remains so strong across the franchise that at this point I just want to raise a THE ADULTS DID NOTHING WRONG banner and call it a day. Not because they're actually free of mistakes or even, at times, downright cruelty, but because if our protagonists constantly get that free pass I'm not sure why everyone else can't too.

Anyone for a spot of denial? 

But I've now written nearly twice as much as the actual chapter in question. It's time to stop! At this rate I’ll have written the equivalent of five Before the Dawns in my attempt to recap just one. #yikes

Until Chapter Six 💜