#also why is making a normal text post so intimidating??

[dangerchild]

Really glad y'all like my Splatoon ocs so much omg ;u; didn't expect so many likes askjkashd

[ms-demeanor]

hello! sorry to bother w this but im sort of desperate at this point. given your post about school abuse: so like. i had a similar experience and i thought that i had sorted my brain out. BUT. big but. now im trans and every time i have to correct people w/ misgender or come out to people that i dont already know their opinion on the issue, i get an anxiety attack that makes me unable to do it. ive told many therapists and no one so far has understood why im terrified of making stuff that other people can perceive as me being difficult to work with. would you have *any* advice? thanks!

Okay so first of all it is totally valid to feel that way; that isn't an irrational response, that is your body and brain going "!!!! I have learned this lesson before!" But just because it's a sensible response doesn't mean it's functional in the long term, which is why it needs to be addressed (which I'm sure you already know, I'm just explaining for people in the back).

So now here is some meandering advice:

Spend time with people you already know you can trust. It's okay to take a break from new people and situations (as much as is possible) when you are processing traumatic events and learning to care for yourself. Spending time with people who you don't have to come out to, who don't misgender you, can help you normalize being out and correctly gendered to yourself.

Recognize that you don't have to be out to everyone and some assholes aren't worth it. This is going to depend some on the context, but you don't owe everybody an explanation for yourself and if people repeatedly misgender you after being corrected you may just be better off not spending time around those people.

Loop in trusted people in low-stakes ways. If you get the sense that someone who you think is pretty safe has misgendered you on accident, it might still feel too intimidating to correct them in person but it might be a good idea to follow up with text or a call or a message to say "hey, just FYI, I think I heard you use a/b pronouns for me earlier, I just wanted to let you know that I use c/d pronouns. Did you want to meet up again next week?" the breakdown on why I think this is effective is - Distance means you're safe - nonthreatening "FYI" means you aren't saying "I'm offended" and assumes good faith from the other person - feels less accusatory (not that you need to tone police yourself, but if you're trying to lower the stress level overall then assuming it was a mistake and letting them know you don't think it was on purpose should reduce the overall tension) - request to meet up again or topic switch to something lighter once again says "I'm not mad, that was just regular information, we can now return to our scheduled programming"

I think that, generally speaking, this is also a decent way to come out to people if you're nervous; physically remote and emotionally casual can be a good place to work from (even if you're actually panicking in your head but you can pull off casual in a written message)

Find (or create) a space where people are 100% going to support you. If you need to create a discord server, if you need to schedule a regular coffee date with trusted friends or family members, whatever it is, give yourself a space where you are unconditionally supported and can have people to bounce ideas and concerns off of. Even if it's just you and one other person, it's good to know you have *someone* who you can say "I think I want to tell this other person to use my pronouns but it's scary" to and know that you're not at risk in any way. I'd say try to make sure that you're still interacting with people outside of that space, but have a space to retreat to where you can just drop the worry.

Recognize that somebody else's problem is not a reflection of you. If you have, for instance, a coworker who is being a piece of shit and refusing to recognize your gender, that is not a reflection of your gender that is a reflection of them being a piece of shit. If there is a classmate or a sibling who uses the wrong pronouns after being corrected that doesn't mean you're not entitled to your pronouns that means they are being a piece of shit. Some people are just not going to accept you and that's on them. Try to minimize your time spent with them and if you have to spend time with them at work take steps to ensure your safety, but don't fight losing battles with assholes.

It really is legitimately scary. You have good reasons to be scared and you are doing a very frightening thing (and not to do the meme thing but you are legitimately being so brave about it; the fact that you are reaching out and asking anyone for help, including randos on the internet, means that you are taking steps to doing the scary thing and that is SO GOOD and I'm really proud of you for making the effort in spite of the fear).

Here is some less meandering advice:

Practice. Talk to yourself in the mirror, practice with friends, practice with your therapist. Practice coming out to yourself in a casual way. Practice correcting your pronouns. Practice an introduction for yourself that explains the information you want to give to new people you might meet. Get it down to a quick little patter, get it to be something that's easy to say to yourself in the mirror first, then try it with friends for practice, then try it around the safer people you might want to give the information to. It'll get easier as you go.

Look for a local support group (or an online support group). If there's a local LGBTQ+ center you should see if they've got events going on or a support group you can join or workshops or any manner of social thing where you can go interact with people who have been through similar stuff.

Journal. Each time you find yourself frightened of talking to someone about your gender, do what you need to to get through the day and then sit down and think about that interaction. Write down what happened, write down what you were thinking. Was there something in particular that made you anxious? Is it something you can practice addressing? Was there something you noticed about the person that made you uncomfortable? Is that a common thread in the times you have trouble talking about this? If you're able to narrow down specifically what is making it hard to speak to some people that might make it easier to explain to therapists but will also make it more actionable for you.

Here's some very optimistic advice:

If at all possible find a friend who will be rabid and unflinching in their support for you and hang out with them around new people. Get yourself an attack dog copilot who will cheerfully step up and make corrections for you. I know not everyone can do this and I know that if you can find someone like this they can't be around all the time, but it can be wonderfully reassuring to find that one person who you know is going to be ride or die about making sure that everyone in the room respects you. (Being that person for someone else can also teach you how to be that person for you)

[wontwowon]

WHAT - 13 : What do I do?

wc. (769)

Waking up to a bunch of notifications can be either a blessing or a curse. When I saw all the notifications I thought maybe my post went viral.

The group chat was full of notifications, maybe they were congratulating me?? Or maybe Belle and Ricky were arguing about something stupid.

Niki also texted me. Maybe he wanted more robux, or was asking for a shoutout since I told people to unfollow him as a joke. 

I went on twitter- my biggest mistake.

My dm’s were full of death threats. 

Full.

Even as I refreshed the page, more and more kept coming.

Yujin’s post

Was it some sick kind of joke? She was playing the victim??

I couldn't get too much into it. I had a test I had to go to. I didn't even want to think about everyone. Do I reply? Do I skip?

“Yn!! Time for school, your math test is today!” 

That's right, I have to get good grades for her, my mom. I push myself up.

I don't want to go, but I will.

Yunjin didn’t bother to walk with me. I see her walking, but the dirty glare she gives me tells me already not to talk to her.

I don't blame her…

As I walk into the building I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Not only strangers, but also the people I call friends.

Yunjin and Karina glare at me. Taesan looks at me without any emotion- somehow scarier than the girls. Sohee looks betrayed- hurt- confused. And Hanbin, he looks… sorry?

I think what hurts the most is Sunghoon, he’s with Yujin.

She cries in his arms, and he consoles her. 

I want to be her. I want to cry in his arms. Why, why am I suffering. 

I try not to think about it as I head to math. I see Heeseung. 

Do I sit next to him?? Will he glare at me too?

I just sit where I normally do, Heeseung moves.

Do they seriously believe the post? Do I really seem fake?

I can hear my classmates whisper, it doesn't sound good. I put my head down, desperately trying to focus on math. 

Luckily the math teacher comes, and silences everyone. He passed the math tests.

He stops at me, maybe it’s because I'm wearing a shitty outfit, or maybe because I have no makeup? 

“Kids these days..” he whispers at me, while shaking his head. So.. he’s seen it too.

Has everyone seen it? Does everyone hate me? 

I can't even see the paper, my eyes full with tears, blurring the questions. I can’t help but zone out. Am I really the bad guy?? 

What do I do?

Do I leave again? Run away again?

That's all I know.  

I always run, running is easy.

So I do.

I get up and leave, I can hear the teacher call my name out. I can see Heeseung staring at me, slightly concerned. 

I speed walk in the hall, I left my bag in the class but I don't care.

I hear people whisper about me, but I don't care.

I just want my mom. 

“Yn?”

I see Sunghoon. He called me. But next to him isn’t what I want to see. Yujin is still there. 

I stand in the middle of the hallway, I see my old friends, Sunghoon’s friends, and a bunch of random people. 

“Yn, you gonna finally own up?” Yujin asks with a small smirk on her face. That smirk. It makes me annoyed. 

Why should I let her win? But… would anyone believe me?

I look around again, but then I see Niki.

He gives me a look… almost telling me to do something. 

Yujin now stands in front of me. I guess she tries to intimidate me. 

I know what I'm about to do is wrong, but I don't care anymore. Even if I try, nothing will help me get everyone's trust back. It happened back at SM uni, it’ll happen again here.

So I do it, I defend myself for the first time. 

I can only imagine the look on Belle's face, she’ll buy me some food in congratulating me. Jaehyun will lecture me, but still be proud. Ricky, he’ll definitely hype me up.

I can already see Niki’s face, he’s smiling. My mom will be slightly proud, but definitely mad. But that's ok. 

I finally see Sunghoon’s face, he's shocked. 

But I don't care. I don’t care anymore.

That’s why I continuously punch Yujin until someone pulls me off. And the rest of the next couple of hours were a blur.

previous | master list | next

SIDE NOTE please lmk if there’s any warnings I missed out in my master list, i don’t want to miss any 😅 also for some reason I can’t reply to comments?? But thank you to everyone who comments, reblogs, likes or even just reads, I really appreciate it ☺️

[theseawillbringdarkness]

I rarely write reviews for things, because honestly, I’m just a regular person with no experience or knowledge on the details of game development, and I get anxious that I may misunderstand something due to being unaware of how certain mechanics work or subtle aspects of storywriting, but I decided to give «Cryptid Crush» a more detailed overview than just a little post full of me gushing over this project that I made originally (spoiler alert: this review actually is just one giant post of me gushing over all the things I love about the game, because I just wanted to note down everything that caught my attention). I’m putting it under the «read more», so folks that didn’t play it can avoid spoilers. And also because I got a bit into oversharing\infodumping mode (aka, a LOT of text), and there is a lot of images too. Buckle up for a ride and let’s-a go!

All screenshots are from the game “Cryptid Crush” by Drowsy Drake Studios.

This is a big read. Seriously. 3378 words. Don’t ask me how it happened, I was in the zone.

Spoilers!!

I say “review”, but it’s just my personal opinion, not entirely written in a serious manner, because I by no means intend it as some serious and professional writing.

TL;DR: play «Cryptid Crush», support it’s creators ( @cryptidcrushvn, @squidinu​ ) and check their website!

I actually stumbled over this game by accident, because one evening I was in especially sour mood and decided to lose myself in one of dating simulators or visual novels, so I was browsing Itchio to see if anything catches my eye. «Cryptid Crush» instantly did just that, because I’m absolutely in love with monstrous characters and I loved what I saw on the game’s main page. Normally, due to whatever weird neurodivergent way my brain works, I can hardly make myself play new games\watch new shows\movies\cartoons, because that requires certain mental preparation from me (aka «the stars must allign in a specific way, or else I’ll stare at the game icon forever, unmoved like a statue»). No idea why it works like this! I have whole lists of things I want to play\watch, but I always have to catch myself in a mental state that is perfectly accepting of getting invested in a new story, even if I know there is 90% chance I will like it. And let me tell you, I’m very glad that I gave «Cryptid Crush» a go. Actually, this is now my comfort story, and there is a lot I want to praise the creators of this game for.

Mechanics

Click to progress the story, which means I can drink tea\coffee AND enjoy a good story. That’s already a win in my books, especially if you’re looking to settle down for a cozy, relaxing evening. Ability to simply scroll back in case you accidentally skipped a dialogue line or want to read it again can really come in handy. Actually, while I’m at it, I have to say BIG THANKS for such detailed menu when it comes to picking where exactly you want to start after you played both chapters. Rather than having to play from the beginning, you can pick a scene to start from, which is especially great for when you want to replay certain moments or conversations in the game.

TTRPG mechanics: at first, I was a bit intimidated, because I always have troubles absorbing technical information about how certain things work (which often looks like an overwhelming cluster of information for my brain), and while I make sure to read through everything, it takes some poking around or even winging from me to get a hold of how something in the game works. However, here it wasn’t so bad at all. I love how «throw a dice to determine success or failure of selected action» here is both used in battle mode AND at a few points in the story, to see if you can get additional information from the characters or get away with a small lie.

When it comes to fights, I enjoyed them more than I expected - said TTRPG mechanic wasn’t so hard to understand after all, and little comments and dialogue lines made the process even more lively and enjoyable. I greatly appreciate the way tutorial was smoothly integrated into gameplay and for a chance to pick difficulty when it comes to fights. I’m a simple person, I play on «easy» majority of the time, so it worked perfectly for me.

Character customization: while the look of the main character, Robyn, is pretty much «set», there are still details you can change, like picking a different color for the coat, hair length, etc. And you can choose whatever first and second name you want (so, like usual, I just used the name of my main OC). Also appreciate the ability to pick pronouns, because I didn’t think too long before picking «they\them». Am I having some sort of self-discovery? I don’t know, but I always appreciate having that option for some reason.

Artwork

The visual part is stunning! The art style is so beautiful and cozy! I love the thicker lines on the outline (no pun intended) of characters, the soft colors, the creativity of monstrous designs. Love how big hands some of characters have (like August in werewolf mode, Oz, Jamie, Mike, etc.)!! My absolutely favorite part, as usual, is facial expressions, of course. Backgrounds also have each their own atmosphere (like cozy one at Robyn’s place, or creepy haunted one at the Elkhorn radio station. Actually, this bit has tons of details - a nice example of «environmental storytelling») and vary in level of detail, allowing some scenes to have more focus on the characters. This pencil-painting style looks great, by the way!

Story

The story in «Cryptid Crush» is very intriguing and allows you an easy integration in it’s world, being a good mix between supernatural and something familiar to all of us. Like dealing with mysterious curse, living in a town full of various cryptids and all the shenanigans that come with it, while at the same time being a relatively regular person, who is just trying to navigate the chaos of their life and worrying about groceries. There is a main story of searching for answers about said curse, but plenty of other storylines that entwine with it, enriching the story and making it feel so full of life. The world here truly feels alive, and there is one part that I love so much.

Despite characters facing hardships and things being rather scary at times (like Robyn’s trip to the void, their first nightmare and what Mike had to face while dealing with Mr.Walker), the story is so. Very. Wholesome. It’s in everything, in the way characters communicate between each other, and especially in their relationships. I’m a big fan of the «found family trope», it always moves me, and I truly believe that sometimes a family can be just a bunch of dysfunctional adults that love each other and try to get along, and seeing those little details or these heartfelt talks that characters share (like the talk between August and Atlas, for example) - they warm my heart so much. My own life may be a mess at the moment, but somehow, this story gives me reassurance that it will work out. Things can be tough sometimes, but they don’t stay tough.

On that note, I absolutely have to mention the amazing writing. Different people obviously gravitate towards different writing styles, but this one is great in so many ways. The descriptions are dosaged perfectly - they’re not dry or, on the contrary, stretch so much that it significantly slows down the story. They’re perfect in giving you enough information to imagine the scene and atmosphere well, without turning into cluster of words (I enjoy big descriptions, but sometimes they may be more fitting for an actual book, rather than a story with a certain flow). And when you’re given lore at the library, it’s also written very interestingly (and the illustrations are so great!!), giving you a better outlook on the world of cryptids. I love the way that size and type of the font (or little details, like «shaking» letters) is used to better convey emotions. All characters feel so alive, they each have their own very different personalities and little quirks. I also absolutely have to applaud the sense of humor that comes into writing and makes it such an easy and comfortable read! I don’t have enough words to describe properly how much I love the writing, okay.

Characters

Usually, I always have a few favorite characters when it comes to stories (I’m personally very fond of Oz, for instance), while I’m rather neutral towards the others, sometimes warming up to them as the story progresses and I get to know them better. «Cryptid Crush» is an exception, though, because I actually love all characters that were introduced to us so far?? So allow me to spam a little with silly little commentaries for each of them. Also, I may mention it about dozens of times, so let me say it here: all voice actors are doing spectacular job! I’m legit in awe of the talent and range, and it’s clear they’re doing their best and having fun in the process too.

«Mothman»

Not gonna lie, I keep asking him for «dad advice» just for fun (I can’t believe his sound effect is straight up «hi Hungry, I’m dad»). The answers are simultaneously the worst and the best.

«Robyn»

I’m fairly certain they’re a mom friend at heart, being a voice of reason on different occassions. Probably unsuspecting that they’re in need of the «found family», but also I hope that it certainly awaits them. Absolutely love it how they’re just trying to ignore all the weird things that are happening in their life currently. I mean, sure, there is a ghostly cat and also now another ghost that haunts your phone. Doesn’t mean you don’t have to worry about breakfast.

«Taro»

She is a little goblin of a cat, and I love her. I mean, I’m aware she is a cat, but at the same time she is so... CAT. If you know what I mean. Waking you up by putting a paw on your face (or through your face in this case), demanding food and attention. Love her, and the voice is absolutely perfect for this type of personality! And her monstrous form looks awesome!

«Atlas»

The quote that comes to mind right away is «I only had them for an hour and a half, but if something happened to them, I’d kill everyone in the room and then myself». Many bits of his personality feel so relatable, especially the urge to infodump\overshare (like what I’m doing right now, whoops). Side note, but in Chapter 1 «Leviathan Waltz», during the phone talk before bed, I always got the picture of Atlas chilling in the attic, identical to the one at the intro of the chapter. An alternative, creepier version was unexpected, but that was a really cool surprise! In any case, I love Atlas dearly, and his enthusiasm towards things is very contagious. I’d absolutely watch a trilogy marathon with him (if there are subtitles, or I’m gonna miss 40-50% of information).

«Jamie»

I didn’t know what to expect at first, but with all the «Let the crimes commence» and casual trashing of the haunted radio station, I did not expect how gentle they are (not with Mike, for obvious reasons, but you know). I adore the manner in which they wrote the message to Robyn the next day after the trip to Elkhorn radio station, almost sounding like what one would write in a full on letter, as well as their overall manner of speech and also being a voice of reason, taking care of their friends. Also, they have a skull-face, which automatically makes me love their design. And bright blue details go so well with the rest of their palette! Also also, I was really thrilled to see a character that goes by «they\them» (okay, yeah, maybe I am going through some self-discovery here).

«Mike Madhouse»

I have to note right off the bat: Mike’s voice actor really be WILDIN’. The absolute charisma that drips off every voiced dialogue line, the unrestrained enthusiasm and madness?? Absolutely amazing. I’m not the person to genuinely laugh that easily, but sound effects for Robyn’s haunted phone crack me up every time. As much as various facial expressions Mike makes (I swear, you guys cranked it up to 200% and I’m loving the result). I’m looking forward to seeing him getting some character growth, and I was happy when he didn’t turn out to simply be defeated and leave the scene for good. He is a complex character, not easily showing his true emotions, which only makes these moments hit even harder (like the sad face he makes at the mention of Atlas, when they’re about to leave for Edith’s shop). «MeAt GrInDeR!!!» moment is definitely one of my favorite ones. (Also, different variations of sprites during the fight, like Atlas Madhouse and demonic looking Madhouse, look epic!)

«August»

He is friend-shaped. That’s it, I don’t have anything more to say, I bet he gives the best hugs. Well, of course not, I do have more things to say. For instance, how adorable he is when he gets flustered after being called, well, adorable. Actually, I only recently noticed the blushing sprite that flashes for a second when he turns around to jump through the window right afterwards. I mean, he wanted to get out of the clinic anyway, but that was a smooth escape. Also, I adore the «I was already a wreck» pun when Robyn apologies for hitting him with a car (I actually love puns, and sometimes I make it other people’s problem, pfft). The enraged snarling August makes upon realizing Atlas forgot to turn off the oven was both terrifying and hillarious in the context. (Lowkey, love all of his sprites and the fact that he has these different «stages» of his werewolf form too.)

«Oz»

I said this already, but when seeing Oz in Chapter 0, I thought he will only make a fleeting appearance and that’s it, which made me a bit sad, because he instantly caught my eye. So I was absolutely delighted to see so much more of him in the next chapter! I love how chill he seems to be, looking intimidating, but at the same time giving impression of a gentle giant who wouldn’t hurt someone without a good reason. It might be a bit challenging with a character who doesn’t speak majority of the time, but it also allows a lot of creativity with the way he communicates and expresses his feelings, and it makes it entertaining to see his facial expressions change at various comments the other characters make. The very rare «pleased» expression he makes honestly warms my heart. But also he gives a strong feeling of a «this bad boy can store so much PAIN inside-», which makes me want to give him a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I’m looking forward to see more of him in the future, his appearance in the dream sequence alone was very surprising (especially having him actually speak here). Also I loved the moment when he and August were in the middle of an argument, and Gus waited politely and patiently while Oz was writing down what he had to say. ALSO have to note that I absolutely love his color palette, which makes yellow eyes stand out even more on top of various shades of grey, black and white.

«Thursday»

Beloved goblin: Bird Edition! Thursday’s pleased expression is one of my favorite sprites. I’m losing it at the contrast between their «crow mode» and very sudden «deep-voiced man, enunciating perfectly clear what they got to say», the first time it took me by surprise.

«Edith»

I was wondering if she is a normal human, right until that one «it’s the charm that protects you-» sprite that made me go «grandma, why are your teeth so big-». At the same time, I felt for Edith in this moment, because I felt exactly the same on multiple occassions, whenever I had to explain something obvious to a customer. Looking forward to seeing more of her, but it’s obvious she is very caring.

«Hazel»

She is sassy, and she clearly had enough of whatever shit she has to put up with. But she still loves her brother, even if she seems annoyed.

«June»

Literally the most adorable ball of energy! I wish I had at least half of her energy.

«Goatma’am»

Her coat! Horns! And overall colors!! She is so pretty, and so nice and helpful! I love the way she is voiced, and I really enjoy listening to this specific kind of speech\voice for some reason. «Parsnip» bit made me snort, though.

«Robbie»

It’s actually very refreshing to see a Cryptid who is just as bewildered at many things about Longhope as any «regular» person likely would be. Lowkey, I loved that wobbling sprite of his when he was telling Robyn what people call cryptids where he is from. He seems to be up to some shenanigans, as well as being determined to find the «goddess sleeping at the river», so I’m hoping he will eventually succeed in his quest.

«Tessie»

She is a mysterious lady (and so beautiful too!), and I’m curious to learn more about her!

«Mr. Walker»

Despite looking rather simple, he’s got an eye-catching design (which I liked even more, because I love shadow-like monsters), and the fight had a lot of creativity put into it! It was a nice twist with Mr.Walker looking like a bigger threat and with smaller HP than the Lantern, seeming like the most reasonable target to take down first, only to swiftly come back into fight after being defeated. And the «Lantern cuts the lights» move was also nice. All in all, Mr.Walker makes easily a very disturbing and terrifying enemy, making the encounter at the graveyard so intense.

Music

Last, but not the least, is music (and it’s nice that you can see the name of the current soundtrack playing in the menu in the lower part of the screen). First of all, the soundtrack in «Cryptid Crush» is straight up enchanting. It always fits the mood perfectly, and I certainly got a few favorites. I kept «Dirt Nap Dreams» on while working a little while ago, and it was soothing and nice for concentration. The track itself is rather chill and a bit somber. «Thaumaturgy Thursdays» makes a perfect soundtrack for Edith, Oz and Thursday trio, having a bit of this «something wicked» energy to it. «Midway to Nowhere» appears to be rather chill, but has this very unsettling mood that is so great for certain scenes and places. And, of course, one of my most favorite ones - «Urgently Jammin’», both remixed version and the original! I swear I listened to this for days. But I also love «Supernatural Foe» for a nice beat and «Old Gods» for how dramatic it is and how it makes you really feel how high stakes are during fight with Mr.Walker.

Second of all, I just have to mention how well sound design is used in the game and how many details go into it. My favorite examples: 1) when Atlas tells Robyn he wants to show them something, and then suddenly «Urgently Jammin» breaks off instead of «Loosen Up Longhope», when he makes a big reveal of still being possessed; 2) «casual» soundtrack breaking off into intense and terrifying «The UNWELCOME Visitor» with Oz seemingly about to get Taro on Edith’s orders, only for everything to abruptly go silent as she goes «I’m joking» and slip back into «Thaumaturgy Thursdays» as the mood changes from threatening back to casual; 3) when Hazel and Oz are having an argument, «Elkhorn Radio Intro» plays out (which is associated at this point with the fight sequence beginning), only for things to suddenly cut back to normal when Robyn and Atlas enter the scene.

All in all, I just want to say that the attention to detail is insane here (another example I didn’t mention above is when Robyn is searching for Mike, and before you see the actual sprites of August and Oz fighting in the background, you see their icons and damage). It’s obvious how much hard work and love is being poured into this project, and I just want to say big «THANK YOU» to Drowsy Drake Studios for creating such amazing story with so many lovable characters. You’re doing amazing work, and we all appreciate it!

Again, I strongly advice to also check out their website for more information:

https://cryptidcrush.com/

P.S. Apologies if I forgot or misunderstood something, it was a bit hard to properly gather my thoughts, but I did my best! If you actually managed to read all of it, you’re a champ.

[divine-crows]

Grimoire/BoS Ideas for the Witch that Doesn't Know What to do Next

(Part 3/4)

By the time I added enough content for this part to be "post worthy" a lot of time has passed and I've kinda...grown? Changed? So some things may be a little different vibe wise from this point onwards. (In my "don't give a fuck about what goes in my grimoire" era /j)

- Everyday things that are magic. I'm sure we've all had that moment where we realize something that's normal could be also considered magic. You can also add superstitions or things you believe in due to something you experienced.

- How you connect with different elements. Maybe you have trouble connecting with fire, but have an affinity for light which can be considered a part of fire. Look at all of those connections and explore it. You might find out that you do connect to an element really well, but through different associations!

- On-hand resources. Look at things in your immediate area. Do clovers grow copiously in your yard? Maybe a pine tree is near your house. Look up the properties and associations of these things, or list down some of your own. If you do this NEVER eat or touch something you're unsure of the toxicity of.

- Pictures/info of your favorite plants and animals. Sometimes, you need to say "fuck the informational blob of text" and add fun stuff. I love illustrating my favorite plants and animals and sometimes I find that it pushes me to research information about them that furthers my practice.

- "Taboo" topics/things you wouldn't personally use in your practice. It may sound weird to write down stuff that makes you uncomfortable, but I find it's a good way to stock up on information in case you need a counter to that exact thing ("know thy enemy"). It also can be cool to look back and see if your opinions have changed on certain topics.

- Drawings/Pictures/etc. of places you've been to. There's something magical about traveling, especially since it can "cleanse" your mind so-to-speak. Capture those feelings! It just might reignite your spark!

- Song Lyrics, Book Quotes, Etc. Including media you love that reminds you of your practice is a great way to make your BoS/Grimoire feel more personal. I kinda treat it as if I'm "charging" it with my intent and it makes it feel less intimidating to write in.

- "Mundane" knowledge. I believe that if you're really passionate about something, it might mean it belongs in your practice. Maybe it's a collection of maps, or an embroidered piece you made, or even recorded information about something you learned that just feels magical to you. It's your book, why not make it your own?

[modern-day-bard]

Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 22

Apparently Barb had been right. Neither Dwayne nor Lloyd seemed to care that I had been seeing Javi. Not that Lloyd mentioned anything, and truthfully I wasn't even sure if he knew. I leave work that day just the same as any other day. Besides the nagging feeling that this isn't over, and my sad suspicion over why I still haven't seen or heard from Javi, everything else was normal. Only two people asked me about my fainting today, too. No weird looks this time either. I had been mostly behind the scenes today, so I didn't see Lana, but I texted her to ask if she had heard anything and she hadn't. Everyone truly was busy at work. Maybe it was my average, L.A.-free upbringing, but I expected a much larger scandal my first day back.

I take a shower first thing upon arriving home. L.A. was nothing compared to the Italian heat, but I could still use a bit of a clean. Plus, it would distract me from the fact that I still have not heard from Javi. Amidst everything, I'm still hurt by that fact. Barb and Dwayne admitted that his behavior showed some sort of interest, but I like to think I know his character better than them. Meaning, maybe he would react like that to almost anyone fainting. I decide to double-shampoo my hair to avoid diving too deeply into that thought. After I dry off, a put on some sleep shorts and a plain white t-shirt before putting on the kettle to make some tea. I'm not much of a chef, but I feel like I should really try to cook tonight in an additional effort to keep my mind off things. Especially now that I know I can still afford groceries. I've been staring at my near-bare refrigerator for about thirty seconds when my phone lights up. I nearly drop a jar of pickles when I see who it's from.

Javi: Can we talk?

My heart practically ricochets out of my chest. Will I look desperate if I reply right away? Has he been looking for a way out of...whatever this is? Or maybe he's upset that he had to have multiple conversations with Dwayne, one being with their PR manager. My kettle screams from the stove, and I jump almost high enough to land straight on my countertop. I quickly move to set it aside. I put a tea bag into a mug, taking a deep breath as I pour the steaming water in. I figure that a cup of tea's worth of time in between my response is enough. Or it's at least all I can stand. As soon as the kettle is set back on the stove, I race to reply.

I type out of a few options, but err on the side of caution.

Me: Of course. Should I call you?

Javi types for a minute or so before the bubbles disappear. I wonder if it's possible for me to hold my breath for a solid two minutes without fainting again.

Finally, 90 agonizing-seconds later, he replies.

Javi: Would it be alright if we spoke in person?

Me: I think that would be best. Do you want to meet in your trailer tomorrow?

Javi: Actually, I'm around the corner of your place. I felt like going for a drive. There's no pressure for you to let me in. But would it be okay if I came to see you now?

Forget holding my breath, I was now choking on it. But even though my nervous system hummed with anxiety, it was also mixed with anticipation. So much so that I forego the reality that Javi would be seeing my post-nervous breakdown studio apartment for the first time and respond with:

Me: Let me know when you're here.

I don't bother rushing for a hair dryer or a change of clothes. Partially because there's no way I would have the time, but also because he's already seen me like this. Granted it was under far better circumstances. I did take the chance to pick up a few pieces of laundry off the floor, though. I just set them in the basket when my doorbell rang. I buzzed him in without using the speaker, and less than a minute later there was a soft knock at my door. I took another, cleansing breath before I opened it.

It was as though sunlight itself was on my doorstep.

If sunlight came dressed in dark jeans and a black hoodie. His hair had been lightened slightly by the Italian sun, something I hadn't noticed until contrasted with L.A. after dark, and his deep brown eyes were shining. And the romantic, seeking part of me thought they shined a little brighter when I looked at him. But in the split second before either of us spoke, I recognize the worry there. Worry masked as almost deep concentration. Then his lips part, and it looks as though he is...relieved, even though he still holds worry around the corners of his eyes.

"Ava," He sounds breathless. I wait for him to say something else, but nothing comes.

"Hi," I almost whisper. "Would you like to come in?"

"Are you sure? We can always speak tomorrow, but I think production is trying to keep us separate for now. Otherwise I wouldn't be dropping by like this–"

"Javi, it's fine. Come in, please." I open the door wider, gesturing for him to walk through. He does, leaving a glorious path of his smell in his wake. I close my eyes only for a moment while his back is still turned to me, trying to soak it in as much as possible.

Javi takes in all 700-square-feet of my place, shoving his hands in his pockets. I've never seen him look so out of place.

"Take a seat," I say, not needing to point out that my lone sofa was the only option. "Do you want some tea? I just poured myself a cup."

"No, no. Thank you."

So he won't be staying long, then. I grab my mug anyway before joining him on the couch. My body yearns to sit as close to him as possible, but I use the tea as an excuse to sit on the end so I can place it on the side table.

Once I place my mug down, there is nowhere else to go. Nothing else to do except look at him with that same, borderline tortured expression on.

"Are you...okay?" I ask slowly.

That relieved expression comes back, but only for a moment. "Yes, I'm fine. Ava, I–" His voice breaks, and he rubs his hands up and down his thighs. "I was so worried about you."

My heart just about shatters. I bring my knees up to my chest, picking at an invisible strand on the couch. "I wanted to reach out to you, but when you didn't check in I thought...I don't know. I knew you'd be busy with meetings and the flight home–"

"How was the flight home?"

I look at him now, and his gaze is so sincere that I want to cry. "It was okay, actually. The flight home is usually a bit easier. Honestly I was mostly focused on the fact that I either stained your reputation or possibly lost my job. Or both. Suddenly the flight didn't seem so bad." I chuckle darkly. Javi reaches for the hand resting on my knee, hesitantly. I give it to him as if we've done this a hundred times.

"I'm glad. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Don't be sorry for that. I'm so sorry I fainted, that's only happened once before and it made a tense conversation so much worse."

"If I can't apologize for not being on the flight, you definitely can't apologize for fainting." Javi lets out a small chuckle now, and I follow suit.

"Ava," he says, stroking my hand, "I want to explain myself and what happened afterwards. But first..." His hand moves up my arm, giving it a gentle tug. "Can you come here, please?" His voice is gravel, and all I can do is nod, allowing him to pull up against his side. His free hand moves to rest on the side of my face, tucking a strand of damp hair behind my ear. Javi rests his forehead against mine before placing a featherlight kiss to my lips, almost making my knees press together. Before I can demand more, he pulls back and leaves the same light kiss on my nose, and then my forehead. He strokes my face again, as if confirming that I'm not a mirage.

"You're really alright?" He whispers.

"Yes," I breathe, "Heat exhaustion doesn't last that long."

"I'm glad, but I also mean what happened with Blake."

I sit back a little so I can assess his demeanor. "I wouldn't do that to you. I'm not saying you and I had the 'exclusive' conversation, but I'm not that type of person."

Javi looks wounded. "Ava, I mean are you okay after what happened with him? I wanted to kill him where he stood when he said those things about you."

"Oh," I really hadn't thought about the night he actually showed up to the room. "I was shaken up at the time. Nothing happened besides him grabbing my waist. Luckily Lana was in the room, and she came out of the bathroom right as he was trying...whatever he was trying to do. But I'm okay."

Javi's face was hard as stone. It was a stiff contrast between the gentle patterns his fingers were making on my knee. "Are you going to report him to HR?"

I pause, knowing that I made that decision back in Italy, but also unsure of how Javi might take it.

"No. I already talked it through with Lana that night. He's a creep for sure but...I just don't think it's what I want to do. I'm just glad he was only with us on location."

"For his sake, I'm glad as well." I'm not sure if he meant me to hear that or not.

His icy gaze falls to the floor.

"You know, Dwayne asked me today if I was going to press charges against either one of you. He said you took credit for the full affair. Nothing at work is changing, not even the promotion." I can't help the suspicion in my tone. It was too good to be true, and I knew it since I walked out of the meeting this morning. His gaze doesn't falter as he remains focused on the floor.

"Javi," I gently stroke his arm, trying to ease his tension. "What does that mean? Why would I want to press charges against you?"

He takes a deep breath, glancing into my eyes for a moment before focusing his attention to my hand resting on his arm. "At the cast dinner, the same night Blake came to your room, our PR manager, Tom, was buttering me up about Norwick's marketing plans. The company is pushing for romance rumors between Emma and me to spark interest for the film."

I feel a sharp pain in my gut at the notion, but I fear that any sign of hesitancy will keep him from speaking altogether, so I ignore it.

"Tom was encouraging me to actually get close to her. I've heard this sort of thing before. It was a simple, yet heavy, suggestion at the dinner. But after what happened on the beach with Blake and then your accident..."

My hand stills on his skin, too gripped by what he's saying to continue my previous efforts of easing the tension.

"Ava, I was so worried." His voice cracks just a smidge, "That fucking asshole was so busy trying to lie about your integrity that neither him or Dwayne noticed you were stumbling. You went pale, and you weren't responding to me. And it's my fault. We could have written this entire thing off and Blake would've been seen as a liar if it weren't for my reaction. No one moved fast enough. They weren't calling for a medic, you weren't waking up. I carried you up the beach to the top of the hill and the medic finally met us there. They took you away on one of the carts and I wanted to be with you so badly. I don't want you ever to think that I planned on letting you be alone this entire time, or not reaching out to you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you woke up alone and I'm sorry for my reaction, I just–I was so worried." Javi's brows are drawn together as tight as I've ever seen them and he's looking at me as if I hold all the answers to some invisible problem. I move my hand from his arm to cup his face, dragging my thumb down his cheek. I'm about to tell him that there is nothing to forgive him for, that I really wasn't harmed by any of it, but he continues.

"Dwayne at that point was convinced of our relationship. Thankfully Blake wasn't quick witted enough to add fuel to the fire. He didn't pretend to be concerned and he didn't insinuate that this meant you and I were together. But he didn't have to. I could see it as soon as I walked back down to the shore and saw Dwayne. I tried to act normal when I returned, especially once Barb texted me that you woke up, but it didn't matter. Dwayne said he would set up a meeting with me directly after we finished the shoot for that day. When I arrived, it was just Dwayne and Tom. I thought it was a good sign until Tom spoke. He told me what a PR nightmare this could be, me being involved with a younger woman. That the press would spin it so I would look as though I took advantage of you. It would damage both of our reputations. That's when Dwayne asked about the nature of our relationship. I said you and I got along very well and that I had feelings for you though I hadn't pushed them and I didn't know where you stood. I didn't deny that we had spent personal time together."

Javi again glances at me, as though checking if this is the part that will make me upset. I give a nod of encouragement.

He sighs before continuing. "Dwayne confessed that Blake has had complaints in the past, mostly about being too emotional to work with, but there were some blind items about him being inappropriate on set." That explains why Dwayne was quick to believe I hadn't been involved with him. "But he said that he also doesn't trust him not to leak some blown out of proportion, 'inside scoop,' about the whole thing. Frankly, Dwayne was concerned that anyone who saw my reaction to your fainting might feel that they have insider information. That's when Tom chimed in with the perfect solution," I can tell by his tone, doused in sarcasm, that it is far from perfect.

"Tom said that the PR team can find other ways to handle Blake, and as for the rest of the possible leaks...He said no one would remember a thing if they see me with Emma. Unfortunately Blake's ridiculous allegations against you fit right into production's plans to market the movie. They want to sell some whirlwind romance between Emma and me, especially since I haven't been seen with anyone publicly."

Javi lets the words hang there, allowing me to process. My stomach is in knots, and I'm still lost.

"So what does that mean for...us?" I ask quietly.

That pained expression is back. "I made them promise that they would stop any scandals against you before they happen, just in case there is a leak from anyone on set. In exchange, I agreed to let them sell the idea of Emma and me. They want us to be affectionate these next two weeks, and they're going to take some fake leaked photos of it. I was consulting with Jonah before and after my meeting with Dwayne and Tom, and he asked me not to contact you until we had reached an agreement. Once we had, it was time to fly back home and Jonah said I shouldn't speak with you until you already spoke with Dwayne. I wasn't actually sure if that was today...I just figured he'd ask to meet with you first thing and I...I couldn't wait any longer. I'm sorry."

He again allows me a moment to process it all. It hurts that Emma and him will be getting closer, even if it's just for show. But it also explains why I still have a job. True to what Barb had said, production didn't really care if we were together. However, they did care if it could reflect poorly on the project. In fairness to them, I understood it. But I was a far ways away from feeling okay about it.

Javi is just watching my face, waiting for my response. Despite the pain in my chest at the thought of him holding Emma, he was here now. His eyes full of concern, his hand still resting on my leg. Both our sides pressed up together.

Hesitantly, I cup his face once more. His eyelids flutter closed, almost as if it's out of relief. I sit up on my knees a little, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. Javi sighs, moving the hand on my leg up a little higher, and his free hand to rest on my back, pulling me in closer.

I pull back so our foreheads are pressed together. "You don't need to be sorry, Javi."

His hand moves in soft circles on my back. "If only you knew how badly I wanted to be with you...how badly I wanted to react when Blake said those things—"

"Shh," I run my hand up his chest before resting it on the side of his neck. "I don't want to think about him. Or Emma...I'm not going to deny that part is incredibly irritating." I chuckle lightly, hoping to hide how jealous that makes me feel.

Javi pulls back a little further so he can look directly into my eyes. "I want to be with you, Ava. In every way that matters, I'm with you. I won't be with her like this," He presses another gentle kiss to my lips, "Or like this," his soft lips graze my jaw. "In fact," He kisses just below my ear, whispering now, "I'll be thinking about you the entire time, and how I'd rather be doing this instead," he moves his lips to my neck, open-mouthed and heady. I tilt my head to the side, allowing him more access. My eyes squeeze shut as he explores up and down my neck, my chest rising and falling at an increasingly rapid pace. When his teeth graze a particularly sensitive area near my collarbone, I can't take it any longer. I shift my weight and swing my leg around his torso so that I'm straddling him on the couch. Javi hums in approval, both his hands moving to my thighs. His warm fingers explore under the hem of my shorts, kneading my thighs and my backside appreciatively.

I surprise myself when I tug on the hair at the nape of his neck, angling him to look at me again and halting his barrage of kisses on my throat. I bend down to kiss him, several degrees rougher than before.

"I missed you," I whine against his lips. My hips buck forward instinctively, and I whine once again at the much-needed friction it provides.

He groans against my mouth in turn. "Missed you so much, baby," he kisses me again, teeth pulling on my bottom lip. "You had me worried sick." Javi's hands yank me forward by my thighs, grinding my core down on his lap again. I whimper, feeling how much he's grown underneath me. I feel as though my body has been taken over by pure desire, all shame left somewhere outside this apartment. I rock back and forth shamelessly, keeping Javi's lips locked on my as I hold onto the back of his neck. In the back of my mind, I know that I should do something else. Offer to go to the bed, kiss his neck back, say something he might want to hear. But I can't. I'm a panting mess. And all I can think about is wanting more of him, right now.

I move my hands from his neck to the hem of my shirt, slowing down my hip movements while I take a moment to pull it over my head.

"Christ," Javi hisses, taking in the sight of my hardened nipples. Not a second passes before he takes one of them in his mouth. His left hand moves to my free nipple, rolling and pinching it as his tongue swirls deliciously around the other. I gasp, tossing my head back and resume grinding back and forth on his now bulging lap. I want to take it out and lick him until he's as desperate as I feel right now, but the thought of stopping feels like it would leave me burning so badly that it would be painful. And judging by how his free hand is encouraging my hips, it doesn't seem like he wants me to stop.

It hasn't been long, but I feel a familiar build in my stomach.

"Javi, I'm," I hit the top of his jeans where he is delectably hard, "Ah, I'm going to...if we don't stop I'm gonna–"

Javi hums against my chest. "Get yourself off, sweetheart. The rest of your orgasms tonight will belong to me." He yanks me forward again, and I combust, my legs shaking on either side of him. My breathing stutters, and Javi keeps his steady pace against my chest, though he moves one of his hands to my thighs to coax me through. I slump against him, forcing his lips to leave my breasts. He draws soothing circles along my back as he chuckles.

"Catch your breath, baby. I'm far from done with you."

Next Chapter

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Series Masterlist

[eastonapologist]

posting my piranhashipping headcanons (just because i can ✌️)

if i keep to myself i feel like i would explode , i copy pasted this off from my doc LMAO so anyway, to those who are actually willing/curious to read them: (a REALLY long text)

Dynamic: 

- John as the more dominant one (for obvious reasons, not sexually though) ; both sides usually don't like to exert dominance on others but when placed in a *very* specific situation, John would highly likely take charge

- One-sided, John doesn't really feel any romantic attraction towards William, it's more of a twisted interest in him instead. William just views him as a normal client, respects him to some extent (due to his seniority), but ultimately prioritises his work.

Sexuality headcanons:

John - Aro-ace

-> I don't disagree that John DOES love Jill, and would never throw her under the bus for william, but I like to think of John/Jill as QPR soulmates. (yes ! news flash - QPR relationships CAN raise kid(s)!)

William - (mostly) Heterosexual // secretly queer in denial (kind of like a homophobic gay lmao) 

-> While I like to think that him being a virgin headcanon would be very funny, in more realistic terms he'd probably gotten a small handful of flings from his younger days. (and also in the now)

- When they first met at the party:

Jill was expecting. (timeline headcanon)

William only saw him as Jill's husband; was maybe a little intimidated by his stare, and also when John confronted him about the formula, and their dispute over the insurance claim later on.

Tracing back from how William first met John at the party, showing their first impressions of each other

John took an interest in William when he revealed to him about the formula for insurance. Despite confronting William about his reservations towards it, he foresaw William losing their debate, because he KNEW William was money-oriented. From his mannerisms, his careful wordings in his speech, and to his robotic responses towards his questions. It was as if he was reciting a pledge, an anthem, except the fact was that it revolved around money. Which was typical for most insurance companies anyway. 

Why John still signed up for an insurance plan:

Curiosity. He already took a mental note of testing William in the near future. John knew that William would not change his mind about his dirty money making habits, his indirect way of taking away many innocent lives. Maybe he would test him... But John only had a vague idea at that moment in time (he wasn't Jigsaw yet!! but was in the process of it)

Also because John wanted to see for himself how William acts. He wanted to first hand experience everything. Why people carelessly toss away others’ lives without a spare thought.  Money wasn't a problem for him. He already saved up heaps of life savings from his previous jobs, and also shared a bank account with Jill, who was also already earning decent amounts of cash from her patients.

When John finds out about his cancer and goes to William:

Disappointment. Anger. Predictability. He foresaw this coming. He knew William wouldn’t just change his moral values out of the blue, especially for his insurance formula that had already raked in lump sums of money. Still, John was a man of values (at least at that time + this was when he started formulating his jigsaw plans). William was *definitely* going to be in one of his tests, and he had the perfect traps in mind. 

OOC headcanon : John designed the traps as realistically as possible for william to survive. He was still going to put his fate into the hands of brent and his mom, but didn't want william to suffer much. (sounds contradictory, i know. cause that's the kinda person john is anyway 😭)

+ there's more coming soon idk LOL it's all in my head rn

[nerdnag]

Sure, let's go! 🥑🍬🔪🦷🐝🧩?

Yayy!! And sorry this took so long! My adhd refused to let me answer it yesterday 😬

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@wild-moss-art without question. They always offer good advice and also they would probably most definitely know how to get rid of a body

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Waah 🙈 I normally avoid this kind of question like the plague because it makes me so uncomfortable to expose myself to Potential Discourse, but I'll give it a shot!!

Since we're both in the AA fandom... I don't know how much of an unpopular opinion this is since I have seen others mention it, but. I much prefer AA4 Phoenix to his other versions, and I'm sort of disappointed he seemed to revert back to the old Phoenix in AA5. I think AA4 Phoenix is freaking awesome. My kinda guy. (I did read a sort of fan essay recently though about how Phoenix was actually always AA4 Phoenix in some manner, and always will be, and that a lot of the difference in AA4 comes from the fact that you are barely inside his brain/POV at all, which makes him look more mysterious and random and incredibly freaking cool when we all know deep down how he's mostly just very lucky, lol. And that did convince me somewhat that it wasn't just a one-off thing, but still. I think his secretive, will-do-whatever-is-necessary, smug-ass attitude was incredibly interesting to engage with and it's sadly absent in the other games.)

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I'm running out of things to say to this question. XD Uhhh. Oh! I went deep into Brazilian favelas in 2016!

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

Alright, here's some personal wisdom courtesy of Sara von Nerdnag-Nuvelle!

I try to think of being wrong as something positive. So although I was very defensive when I was younger and still sometimes struggle not to be, I've managed to reprogram myself so that I usually instinctively respond by admitting to being wrong whenever I see a chance to do so. (I still struggle to do it in emotional situations though, it's easier when it's something more factual.)

And if it feels difficult to admit to being wrong, here are some reasons why being wrong is great, actually!

You get to learn new things and improve as a person.

Other people will view you as humble and tend to like you more.

Also related to the previous point: In the cases that you do not admit to being wrong, people will tend to take you more seriously since they know you're not just being obtusely defensive.

Each time you admit to being wrong and therefore learn something new, you get a cool new sword that you can then defeat other people with!! (Metaphorically speaking)

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

I've already tagged Nic and Eifie, who are the two biggest supporters for my writing, so I'll answer from the perspective of my art instead! And in that case, I'd say @wild-moss-art is likely my biggest supporter!! They found me on tumblr because they liked my Constance art, and I was so intimidated at first because oh my god artworld beyoncé. Their art - especially the Constance art - is so good!! And not only that, they turned out to be incredibly cool and helpful and thoughtful. They leave such nice comments on my art, and have helped me several times to fix anatomy or other stuff I wasn't getting right. Also they're really nice to talk to. 💕

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Ooooh, hm. There are probably a few things, but if I'm choosing just one, I guess it would be that I see immediate signs of it being a little too badly/awkwardly written for me to be able to get through it. And... I'm not entirely sure what these signs are, but I know they are very instinctual and I can usually catch them within a few paragraphs at most.

[yanbub]

them as your online crush

— includes: diluc, xiao, and childe x gn!reader

— genre + warnings: pure crack. cw: some of my headcanons on the pronouns of the characters included, tho its all for jokes dont take them srsly.

— note: hi im alive 🤗 not completely back but i just wanted to write this ,,, please reblog if you've enjoyed ! it helps me a lot <3 kinda based from what happened 2 me lately so ig based from experience LOL. unedited and not proofread and this is very messy zzz sorry in advance for errors n whatnot

diluc ;

literally your local he/him with handsome (aka formal) typings on the internet. he can literally just say “hello :)” and get SO MUCH clout. he doesn’t even have to try to be some random clout chaser, he automatically gets clout just for being a he/him.

he seemed cold at first but the more you get to know him, he wasn’t that bad. his handsome typings didn’t even seem cold anymore, it’s just how he really types to anyone anywhere.

he’s so caring even if you just text each other like. what the hell? and you found him intimidating of all things… it’s rare to see him crack a joke online but he actually cracks a few with you (woah special treatment wish all)

nothing much to say, he just sounds hot when he types and he’s a green flag because he’s really caring and nice. so who wouldn’t even crush on him?

xiao ;

another he/him. gets more clout than diluc. probably one of those “he/him, 16”s that you see on twitter or something. he can just say “hello tl” and get more than 10 replies.

PLEASE the way he types sometimes is lowk scary but there's no ill intention to them. he just sounds mad everytime he types. i have no idea why, he just does.

is actually some fun guy to talk with, you’d never regret a moment with him <3.

light banters here and there probably, he literally does personal attacks when he gets the chance istg 😭. he’s also a slight jokester… just slight. it’s either his jokes would suck or they would be funny.

commitment issues so you’d probably hesitate to crush on him in the first place, crush material with caution !! stay safe

jokes aside, he’s the type who’d defend you on twitter of all places. probably would waste time sitting on one spot and is arguing with strangers online over something they accused you of idk.

HE’S JUST NICE OK scary at first but really nice to hang out with yeaaaa

childe ;

literally the reason why i did this post LMFAOOOO

enemies to lovers on the internet, yall fight so often like what the actual fuck is up

also another one who does personal attacks to make you lose, foul move, honestly.

for some reason people think you’re dating, but in truth you’re just friends. you two are so close so maybe that’s why ppl thought of that.

it’s normal for most to see you two arguing, especially when they see you and childe telling the other to deactivate as a joke. fighting is basically how you interact…

if you act nice to him once he’ll probably ask if you got possessed or something similar to that LMFAO. but he’ll act nice back !! he knows when to joke or not.

doesn’t like labels so you hesitate on crushing on him 😂👍

your dms is either filled with you two telling the other to deactivate or just random drama spilling.

no because he sometimes do those handsome typings too </3 if you tell him you’re doing something he’d always remind you on it. (for example: “SHUT UP im taking a test can u please bully me later instead 😁😁” “oh, do your exam first. just talk to me later” (as if he wasn't telling you to delete ur account a few moments ago))

idk what to say atp uhm yea he’s a different breed than the other two LOL

[kkusuka]

Hi Wifey!! Congrats on 2k I’m so proud 🥺😫💖 anyways I would love a smut number 3 with Bakugou, Ushijima and Bokuto plleeeaaasssee my darling -✨Puppy🤩

<3

“We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?”

Fem. anatomy!

genre: smut

characters: Bakugou, Ushijima, Bokuto

cw: public sex

an: i totally forgot to post this yesterday lol

Bakugou Katsuki

The Back Alley

Patrol is simultaneously the best and worst part of being a pro hero.

Some days it was where most action happened and it was nice to see some fans every once in a while. Others, it was the most boring experience of his life, no villains, no robberies, not even a purse snatcher!

The plus-- if he could even call it that-- was that he was alone today. So what does a bored man do whilst they are alone? Scroll through all of his hidden photos for every single video or picture that you're stuffed with his cock.

Now not only was he bored and alone; but also horny and has a lot of time on his hands. He could approach this two ways; stop watching videos of his cock pounding you to hell as you cream like a whore for him and calm down or send you his location and fuck you agist the wall of the alley he currently resided.

The morally challenged being he was, choosing the latter was not difficult.

“Katsuki! Are you ok? You just said to come as soon as possible, you scared me!” your voice rang ten minutes after his cryptic text.

“Fine, just c’mere.” he led you into the small distance between buildings, tucking your body into him. Within a moment his lips were on your neck, bringing to light the reason you were called here.

His hand finding its way to your clothed pussy, singling your clit out through the thin layers of your clothes. Almost melting into his touch, you almost completely forget that you’re standing within view of anyone who walks past.

“We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?” you push yourself away from his hands only to be violently pulled back into him. This time, his fingers going beyond the bounds of your panties, thrusting a finger into your already dripping hole.

“Let them” he states maneuvering your shirt into your mouth as a makeshift gag as he pushes your bra below your tits, “plus, if you don’t want to then why is your cunt fucking dripping on my fingers?”

Switching your positions, he kicks your feet further apart trapping you between his body and the wall. Sliding his fingers out of your clenching walls, relocating to your clit you feel something much bigger press against your folds.

Letting you settle for a brief moment, he presses his entire length into your heat. Pulling his hips back only to fuck it back into you forces you further into the wall. You can feel the slick running down your thighs as the sound of skin slapping rings through the alley.

“Fuck, you’d let me use you anywhere, look at you getting dicked in an alley where anyone can walk by and see,” he growled, holding up your falling hips, pulling them into his hips forcing his cock deeper than he was.

Your orgasm overtakes you as your legs collapse into his hold, his thrusts becoming sporadic as he leans to your shoulder and bites down to prevent the groan as he cums in your spasming cunt. The mix of your cum drips down your folds as Bakugou slides your panties back up your leg.

“I’ll be home soon, be ready.” he kisses your cheek and sends you wobbling out of the darkness.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Celebratory Car Ride

Ushijima is a silent force.

Unless you can read stone, knowing what he wants is nearly impossible until he tells you. You had to give it to yourself, knowing him since you were kids makes you a bit better at reading him than others.

Still, at times his stare unnerves you just a bit.

Like when you had gone to his class for the lunch break and he didn't say a word for the first twenty-five minutes. You thought he was going to break up with you, for what? You had no idea, but maybe he was having second thoughts about you, you’d only been dating for three years--since the second year of middle school if that counts--, maybe he got bored. His stare cut through your very soul.

He had you in a full panic only to tell you how cute you looked in his jacket. It was adorable that he spent all that time just trying to talk to you, but it bothered you that he could make you panic like that with just a look.

Luckily,  you made it past that stage of your relationship and understand that his stares are mostly sweet and he’s just trying to convey his emotion in a way that isn’t words.

But, even with all that, you had no idea what this stare was. If you could call it a stare, his eyes were following everywhere you went, which isn't the best considering this was one of the most important games in his career.

This stare was more intimidating. His lips pressed into a straight line, eyebrows tilted down, eyes seemingly looking right through you. It was his normal face but, he was sending chills through you every time you connected eyes.

They’d won, but Wakatoshi’s eyes didn’t lighten a bit, up close it sent waves of heat through your core. He looked at you like he wanted to swallow you whole.

“Wait for me in the car, I will be quick.” making due on his promise he meets you there a swift ten minutes later, surprising you when he swings the backdoor open. “Back here”

Following his command you slide next to him, a second after you’re throwing into his lap, hands already working to push your shorts out of his way. Not waiting a second before pulling your shirt over your head, throwing it somewhere into the front. Making quick work of your underwear by tearing it from your body, something you had stopped reprimanding him for, he’d buy you more if that’s what you wanted.

Watching him throw the shards to the side thrusts you back into the reality of where you are, “We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?” you frantically begin to look at the vacant parking lot in case someone has already seen.

He answers you in silence and a mouth to your nipple, rolling it between his lips sucking like it would give him something. Placing you onto a thigh so he can release his cock from his shorts, moving your core over his tip.

“Who...who cares if they see. You are mine, they can watch all they want but they will never be able to touch.” his voice vibrates in his chest.

You breathe before Toshi pushes your body onto his, slamming his cock into your pussy. Running his hands along the curve of your waist his eyes train on how your head is thrown back as he presses against your cervix.

Not wanting you to wait, he lifts your hip then releasing letting gravity plunge you back onto his length. Taking control of the pace he begins to thrust up into you, his finger meeting with your clit, building the coil in your stomach.

Steading yourself on his shoulders, you angle your hips so his cock hits a particularly soft spot in your depths. Collapsing onto his chest he continues fucking your cream back into your pulsing hole, restuffing you with his load.

You close your eyes and feel yourself being covered with some jacket, then being moved to the front, waking up in your bed at home cuddled into your boyfriend's chest.

Bokuto Koutarou  

Locker-rooms

Koutarou could convince you to do anything.

It was almost embarrassing at this point, you should really talk to him about it. You can remain strong when he’s not with you but the second he looks at you with those wide eyes and sweet smile, you fall apart. (like a nature valley granola bar)

So now you’re standing in front of the doors leading to the boy's locker room with an armful of random sweets to soothe your seemingly upset boyfriend. Knocking on the doors you hear him allow you to enter, immediately you see him lying over a bench.

“Are you ok, Kou?” you question only getting a peek of his eye before a wave to come closer. Once you were an arm's length of him he pulled you to lay over him. Wrapping him in your arms you ask what was so wrong to make him like this, but you only receive him pushing further into the crook of your neck.

Before you could ask again you feel a pair of lips sucking on your skin. Pushing his hands under your shorts.

“We’re really going to fuck here? What if someone sees us?” pulling away you try to make a move to leave, stopped by his arms encircling your waist keeping you pressed onto his bulge.

“No! They won't come in I promise! We’ll be quick!’ he speaks as he starts pulling clothes from your body leaving you in a bra and pushes aside underwear. He barely gave you enough to realize he was lined up with your entrance.

Steadily fucking yourself onto him, his hands holding your hips almost bruisingly. Once you were fully situated on him, he switched your positions, throwing your legs over his built shoulders.

Bending an arm to lean on the lockers for leverage he pounded into your cunt, intertwining his other hand into your hair.

Fucking you through your orgasm, you clenched so hard he could barely move, your hole milking him for his load. Slumping over you he connected your lips in a sloppy, tired kiss, almost walking out of the room butt naked with you in his arms.

[redheadloverr]

High school AU

gn!reader x gorou!!

please refer to my old hsau post for background info!!

content; slight bullying, slight angst, fluff, strangers to best friends to lovers

Gorou was a new exchanged student. he was often picked on or asked to let people touch his ears and tail. he was either adorable or a freak, no in between. until you came along, that is. you found Gorou adorable but you wouldn’t like people to randomly touch you either. you wanted to become his friend as well, not just for the benefit of touching his ears and tail but he also looked like he had an interesting background. he was one of the only exchanged students and his appearance and outfits seemed interesting. he was cautious when you first came up to him, his mind immediately started going to whether you’d ask to pet him or just pick on him. either way, he was prepared for what ever was to come. he was prepared to say no or just pretend you weren’t there. to his surprise, you did neither. “Hello! it’s Gorou, right?” you asked politely with a smile on your face. he looked at you, trying to determine what your goals were when talking to him. “…Yeah…yeah my names Gorou…” he was very hesitant but still answered. “Cool!! Can we be friends?” you were so upfront about it, it was almost suspicious. after a bit he replied, “Why? Why do you want to be my friend?” “You’re cute!” you blurted out. shit, you weren’t supposed to say that. you looked at him, he was…. flustered? “Ah, sorry. You are cute but I didn’t mean that in a way to get you to let me touch your tail and ears. I find you interesting, i wanna learn more about you if you’d let me!” he was still flustered, he closed his eyes to think for a second before responding. “O-Okay. We can be friends just don’t call me cute again, g-got it?” you nodded in agreement to his request. You two were in the same class but he sat a couple seats away from you so you two mainly talked during lunch, before / after school and through text. he was shy at first but after a couple of days of getting to know who you were he warmed up to you.

a couple months into the two of you knowing each other, you two were basically inseparable. everyone knew you two and no one picked on Gorou anymore! Gorou always thanks you for that but you don’t think you contributed at all to the kids randomly stopping their bullying. deep down though, both of you knew it was your doing, you never intimidated kids to make them stop but since you were pretty well known in your grade level everyone kinda backed off. You two were great friends and it seemed as though you two were even childhood best friends! Gorou made other friends and he even had the courage to become friends with another exchanged student. though Gorou was making new friends and wasn’t being picked on anymore, apart of you was jealous. what if he stops hanging out with you as much now, what if he stops replying to your text, what if he finds someone else to play games with, or even worse, what if he gets a partner. you know Gorou wouldn’t leave you but, the thought of him having a partner scared you. you soon realized this wasn’t normal, you talked to your other friends about it without mentioning gorou’s name but they knew who it was about. “You’re jealous. Seems like you have feelings for this dude, you should ask him out before someone beats you to it.” your friends words stick with you all week, they were tryna get you flustered… but they were right. you’ve never had feelings for someone so this was all knew to you. you acted normal around Gorou but deep down you wanted to just tell him straight up that you hate the idea of him having a partner… one that isn’t you. you couldn’t though, no way you could! you didn’t even know if Gorou liked you the same way you liked him.

a couple weeks pass and you tell yourself each and every friday that you’ll confess, spoiler you never did. you could tell him at any time really, you two played games and texted everyday. not to mention seeing him at school on weekdays. spring break was coming up and it was gonna be a bit before you saw him in person again. you told yourself you had to tell him, if he rejected you, come back from spring break with someone new to think about! though you really hoped he wouldn’t reject you. Gorou was hanging out with his friends during lunch the day you were gonna confess. you were asking your own friends to hype you up so you could finally do it, finally tell him how you felt! your friends did a great job at hyping you up. they said things like “There’s no way he wouldn’t like you!” or “You got this don’t worry! just don’t forget about us when you have a boyfriend okayyy?” they were chaotic but they always managed to make you smile. with their motivation and support, you went to look for him. you had about 15 minutes left of lunch break, you looked for him everywhere. you asked his friends where he went and they told you he went to the rooftop. they also told you that some girl asked to speak to him up there. your heart dropped. you’ve never ran faster in your life. you were just praying, begging for him not to be there with that girl still.

on your way there, you were relieved to see a girl coming back down from the direction of the rooftop. he… rejected her? she looked so sad but, you were so relieved. you took in a deep breathe and went to open the door. on the right, you saw Gorou there, looking up at the clouds. you tried your best to be quiet, you were so, so relieved he wasn’t with that girl. you went up behind him, you didn’t know if you should tap his shoulder or call out to him. before you could even think about what to do, you heard him sigh. “She wanted me for my ears and tail.” he said. “W-What?” your heart once again dropped but for another reason. “It’s ridiculous, right? I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. There’s no way someone would like me for anything besides my appearance.” he looked so, sad, but he also looked so… relieved? “That’s-” you started but were soon cut off by the bell ringing. “Let’s get back to class, should we?” he turned to you with a smile. you just stared at him, you were confused. he noticed, “What’s wrong, Y/N?” “You’re wrong.” you said firmly. “What? Wrong about what?” he looked like a confused puppy. “Your appearance isn’t the only thing people would be attracted to.” he looked at you confused still, you kept talking. “I cant speak for everyone but, i never once wanted you to be my boyfriend just for your appearance.” it finally clicked. or did it? was this a confession or just you trying to make him feel better? he couldn’t tell. his head was all over the place after your comment. “Gorou,” you grabbed his had and looked up at him, “I like you, please date me!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N…” his words snapped you back into reality. right, there’s no way he’d like someone like me. “I don’t understand why you would have an interest in me,” you looked back up at him confused by his words. “I like you, I really do. I would love to spend the rest of my life with you if you’d let me but…” “No buts!” you blurted out. “But Y/N” “No buts, nope I don’t wanna hear it. Gorou, I like you a lot, I don’t want to hear you talk bad about yourself! I know it’s hard for you to not be so negative about yourself but I won’t let you do it anymore. I wanna make you happy and restore your confidence. Please let me help you grow!!” he was in complete shock. he never would’ve imaged you’d say these types of things to him. after a second or two, he responds. “Thank you, I’ll be in your care then.” you light up hearing those words. “I hate to ruin this moment but we should probably get back to class before they find us up here. We can talk more about this after school okay?” You nod and take his hand. “Yeah! Let’s go back to class then.” “W-WAIT, YOU’RE HOLDING MY HAND Y/N—“ seeing him flustered always made you the happiest.

after school, he walked you back home. before dropping you off though he actually asked if you wanted to be his partner which of course you said yes to. it all felt like a dream, one you didn’t want to wake up from! you two texted all night long and called before going to sleep. the next morning you two had your very first date, since it was now spring break, the two of you made plans to go on dates and hang out during it. whether it be as a little study session or just to lay down and watch movies together, you two wanted to make the most of this break and you guys getting together! when you guys returned to school, you were like a celebrity couple basically! everyone was excited to see the two of you finally being a couple, guess everyone knew you two liked each other and were just waiting for one of you to make the move lol. you two enjoyed your years left in high school and soon graduated together and went off to start your lives together. you two were the cutest couple in town and your only regret is not confessing sooner. you wouldn’t have it any other way though, the way you two got together will always be a core memory for you two!

A/N WHY DO I KEEP FINISHING THESE AT LIKE 2 AM ON A WEEKDAY AHHHH anyways hope you guys enjoyed im sorry if there’s any grammatical errors i’ll re-read this later and fix them, thank you for being patient with me and i’m sorry for the ending it’s kinda bad and rushed but i hope you enjoyed!^o^

[musicallygt]

Thoughts on size shifter!klavier and huamn apollo?

YES I HAVE THOUGHTS gonna just continue from this post bc I already set smth up last time and also just really enjoy Klavier angst lol. also ty for sending this ive been having some Klapollo thoughts since last night djfjfjfjfjhfjhffj

under cut for Turnabout Succession spoilers again!! sorry for getting long btw lmao this idea has been bouncing around in my head since the other sizeshifter!gavins ask lol

Apollo doesnt know for sure, but he has an idea about what the Gavin brothers really are. He’s had a feeling for a while, with the way Kristoph would seem slightly taller sometimes when pressing especially difficult witnesses, or how Klavier always seems to be taller than he already was every time Apollo showed up, though not in the intimidating way like his brother. Others don’t seem to notice, at least consciously, but Apollo does.

It’s not his right to say anything, though. Apollo knows the general public opinion on sizeshifters and their potential danger. But Kristoph is now locked up, and Klavier isn’t really the dangerous kind of person (really more the annoying type if anything) so he sees no reason to speak up about it. Sizeshifters don’t exactly share that about themselves, anyway.

Throughout the Vera Misham trial, he can see Klavier so clearly upset. And if he focuses, it looks like Klavier’s height keeps changing. It was already hard for Apollo to learn that his boss was a murderer, and finding out how horrible he truly is isn’t any easier. How much harder is it for Klavier, to learn all this about his older brother?

He watches as Klavier rushes out of the courtroom the moment the judge ends the trial. He takes a few moments to decide before going out to make sure Klavier is okay. It takes him a bit, but he eventually does find Klavier, smiling like he usually did.

But something is off. His bracelet reacts as Klavier claims to be fine, and as he focuses, he notices Klavier’s height: he’s shorter than normal. He can see Klavier tense up as he says that. He watches as Klavier forces out a laugh, looking away. “You must’ve finally hit your growth spurt, Herr Forehead” he says, but his eyes don’t match his smile.

Before Apollo can press on, Klavier excuses himself and leaves the courthouse entirely.

Apollo barely hears from Klavier in the following weeks and hasn't even seen him since. The most he's gotten was a text saying that he's glad Vera's condition improved significantly and the text responses saying that he's fine and not to worry about him whenever asked. Apollo only finds himself worrying more, despite how annoying Klavier is, but the prosecutor isn't acting like himself. Even Ema seems to notice and care, not that she actually said anything.

The last straw is when Trucy tells Apollo that the Gavinners disbanded. Or more accurately, Klavier disbanded the Gavinners. The articles don't seem to have a solid reason as to why it happened, and any responses from Klavier are vague. Apollo officially decides that he's going to see Klavier in person.

It doesn't take him long to learn Klavier's address, and he finds himself standing outside the apartment door. After a few knocks, Klavier opens the door and greets him. Apollo notes that he's his usual height right now. He asks if they can talk, and after several moments of hesitation, Klavier lets him inside.

Apollo tries asking again if Klavier is okay, and once again, he sees him lying. Apollo's bracelet is reacting as Klavier turns away and becomes a little shorter.

"Stop lying. I know you're not okay. You haven't been okay."

"If you insist, Herr Forehead, where's your proof?"

Apollo takes a deep breath, feeling a little bad for what he's about to say, but he says it. He tells Klavier what he knows: that whenever he's around, Klavier is usually taller than normal, and that during the Vera Misham trial, he saw his height changing constantly, his emotions seeming all over the place.

All of a sudden, he's seeing Klavier at almost eye level, his eyes wide as his breathing seems to quicken. "How long have you known?" he says, his voice barely a whisper.

But that's not what Apollo is here to talk to him about. He ignores the question and tells Klavier to stop hiding, to stop pretending he's okay when he's not.

Several moments later, Klavier seems to break down. It's not loud and violent like his brother's. Instead, it's quiet as he curls into himself, like he's trying not to take up so much space, and he shrinks down to a few inches tall at Apollo's feet. As gently as he can, he carefully lifts the now-tiny prosecutor in his hands, holding him against his chest. He feels Klavier shaking as he cries, his tiny fists gripping the cloth of his vest. He wordlessly strokes his back with his thumb as Klavier spills his thoughts, all the thoughts he's able to voice regarding the complicated emotions he feels towards his brother.

As his shaking and whimpering dies down, Apollo can sense the one thing scaring Klavier the most at the moment. His voice soft, he promises Klavier that no one will know, that his sizeshifting will remain between the two of them. He feels the tiny prosecutor immediately relax in his hands, and they stay like that in silence for several minutes longer, just the two of them in each other's comfort.

[duckmine]

business tina! 
[some info in read more, feel free to skip]


hey! sorry for still terribly inconsistent with posting!


it is.. very intimidating having a blog sometimes, lol.


if you’re wondering, no! i have no new bob’s burgers art, this one is very old! i drew it way back on the 18th of january. and unfortunately i have no clue why i’d never posted it. i must’ve forgotten, lol.


and yea, i feel really guilty for not posting more, and especially guilty for the reason why. the spark i had for making fanwork for this show has been dying down since i’ve been in the making of this blog. it’s not new though! i just normally suck at posting on social media. i had an art instagram that i posted only once a month because well, i hated posting on there.


i don’t hate posting on here, though! i love sharing my art and recieving and reading all the feedback i get! it truly is heartwarming and it makes me want to post more! unfortunately i am one of those types who’s brains keep moving onto different fandoms. don’t get me wrong, i’m not finished with this blog! there are still things i want to draw and share here but it just takes me a while to get into the mood..


there are also stuff i’d like to talk about regarding the show but, as i’ve stated, this is a fanart blog. i don’t really like to make text posts because i’m worried people will be disappointed it’s not art, and truthfully i don’t want to make a sideblog just to talk about bob’s burgers because my activity there will be just as bad as it is here, lol.

  
now i technically do have art i haven’t shown, but a lot of them are old and the styles are VERY inconsistent since i also experimented with them a lot when drawing for the show, and they were simply for my own enjoyment. and while i did want to share them i didn’t wanna be accused for stealing other people’s work just because the styles were so different with each drawing.


also a lot of them aren’t signed but i don’t really wanna go back and sign all of them with my username so if i do end up trying that it won’t be soon for when i post them lol. i am very lazy.

  
anyways that’s all, i know this is quite a bit to read, i just like rambling and i felt like i should’ve explained a little on why my activity is this pathetic.

[leviiattacks]

Head canons for mafia boss levi being interested in Starbucks barista reader please

note :: this idea is so cute i wrote a scenario i hope you don’t mind. i can still post some headcanons for it too if you really want me to! i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted me to write anon :-( ALSO this is super casual writing it’s not like the way i usually write it’s just bullet points i mean idk i wanted to try something different and more relaxed lmk if this style is okay for some requests :D

if anyone would like any more requests with this levi please lmk!! i could go in more detail tbh maybe the pacing of this isn’t too good bc it is a short request but yeahhh

+ idk why the formatting looks so odd i tried my best to fix it myself ?!.!/!:£:& but yeah sorry again!!

levi has always been one to keep his business meetings lowkey

i mean, realistically who is going to suspect mafia boss levi is lingering in a starbucks???

the place is well-suited for his hushed meetings, he finds it to be quiet enough and clean enough

but then one winter everything changes

you start working there

he’s waiting in the queue texting erwin asking when he’ll be able to get there

it’s been a RUSH and the traffic is crazy as expected from the bustling city so he doesn’t expect to see erwin for a while

that’s when he hears you for the first time

“HEY!! Mister in the fancy suit it’s your turn to order”

your hands are placed on the counter and you lean forward eagerly waiting for what he has to say

levi rolls his eyes because he thinks you have to be ogling his designer watch and shoes (you really aren’t)

“black tea, no sugar and... a cinnamon swirl” he’ll order for erwin later. “i’ll be eating in.”

“ooohhh you’re a tea guy? name?” you’re smiling at him radiantly and it irks him because you have nothing to be smiling about really

eyes narrowing he responds “no shit, i just ordered tea.”

“and why the hell do you want my name?” he snaps on reflex

he then remembers he’s at a starbucks and you are not interrogating him, you’re doing your job

“sir... this is starbucks?? is this your first time here?”

you blink in confusion but then your face lights up “oh my, would you like to sign up for a starbucks card?? you can collect stars and get rewards and it’s so muc–“

“do i look like i need a starbucks card?”

“everyone looks like they need a starbucks card”

he doesn’t carry on that part of your conversation instead he looks you dead in the eyes “levi, is my name.”

his glare intimidates you and you awkwardly laugh

you think he’s probably having a super bad day and choose to not bother him that much

as he’s waiting he sees the way you clumsily navigate behind the counter, you’re juggling a number of things in your arms

automatically his face sours

he’s not expecting the tea you produce to be any good

he doesn’t care how nice you are if you can’t do what he wants he won’t be leaving a tip

he’s stingy like that

a clatter is heard and all the noise you’re making just makes you all the more aggravating

he’s been coming here for years and never has encountered a barista as bothersome as yourself

at some point you call out the name “SCROOGE!” from behind the counter, levi finds it embarrassing that anyone would ever call their child that

like... out of all the names this is what they choose??

damn they have to hate parenthood

“scrooge i’m begging you collect your drink.”

he looks up pissed that whoever this scrooge is has the audacity to hold you up because that by default means they are holding him up

then he sees you staring directly at him with that warm smile again

yeah, that smile, it could thaw ice

then it settles.

he’s scrooge?

turning around he notices no one is behind him then he sees that no one else is waiting apart from him

jaw clenching he heads towards you and makes it a point to “tsk” in frustration

he takes his cup and his cinnamon roll and you wave him goodbye

usually levi prefers to silently sit in the booth furthest from the action, he wants no attention drawn to him at all

but that day he finds himself sitting closer to the counter

he’s kind of stunned when he does that because he’s just sat there thinking why the hell did i just do that?? why did i sit here??

but he convinces himself it’s because he wants to see erwin when he’s about to walk in so he can prepare to scold him for not arriving on time

he takes a sip of his beverage expecting nothing above mediocirty but weirdly, your brew, it tastes perfect

levi’s eyes linger on you and he notices the way your behaviour is consistent

you’re helping an old woman pick what she’d like from the menu

you compliment her jumper, says it really makes her blue eyes stand out

you don’t have to be as nice as you are and it’s ticking him off

it ticks him off seeing someone so pure and sweet for no reason

when did people decide to not have ulterior motives anymore? did you decide those were too old school for you?

tongue poking at the inside of his cheek he activates his poker face and looks away

you, are a random person. a random, annoying person. he is going to stop thinking about you.

turning his attention to erwin instead he calls him and when he picks up levi makes his point very clear

“i was just called scrooge. get the hell here so i can order for you.”

erwin chuckles, his throaty laugh makes levi’s mouth twitch downwards in irritation

“and who exactly called you scrooge?”

“is that relevant?”

“very much so if you’ve mentioned it yourself”

levi is silent and erwin laughs once again at his colleagues anti social way of interacting

“i’ll be there in five, feel free to order.”

grunting a sound of approval levi hangs up

“you’re back! how may i help?”

the way you treat being a barista so seriously, he finds it oddly endearing

“one doubleshot iced coffee.”

nodding to yourself you hum a tune happily and get to work

ever since that day levi finds himself frequenting that specific starbucks more

at first it’s a whole lot of “i’m pissed and i don’t have a reason so i’ll go down there and have her annoy me, then i’ll have a real reason”

then you talk to him more and you both engage in small talk

then it develops when he doesn’t mean for it to

you tell him about what you study, where you’re from, how your mother has recently developed arthritis but she’s still so determined to cook to the best of her abilities despite the pain

that reminds him of you

each visit he learns something new about you

sometimes he’ll let you in on his life

“what do you work as, i’ve always wondered?“

“accountant.“ no way in hell is he going to scare you away, telling you isn’t an option

you burst out in laughter holding your knees

“accountancy is well paying what is your point...?”

“do you not know what that means” your laugh is muffled as you press the sleeve of your jumper against your mouth

he shakes his head completely clueless

“people say their accountants when they’re actually strippers. it’s a tiktok thing.”

you pause for a second staring at his face

he feels the way his ears grow red under your gaze but he ignores it looking as bored as ever

“ah well. i did not know that.”

“clearly not you are an old man.”

then you turn away to brew his tea and he lets the ghost of a smile sneak its way onto his face

you aren’t looking, it’s okay

but he knows it’s dangerous getting attached to you

it’s stupid relaxing

and it’s even worse loosening up

so he doesn’t.

he’s always cold, bitter and frigid in his responses as he’s always been with you

but that doesn’t stop you from kindly smiling

or absentmindedly brushing the surface of his skin on rare occasions

it doesn’t stop you from calling him scrooge

and it certainly doesn’t stop you from slowly thawing the frosty exterior of his heart

then one day you let the words “my scrooge” slip out of your mouth

he doesn’t know why he let’s it happen or even how it happens exactly but he can’t help the smile that makes itself evident on his face

“HEY YOU JUST SMILED HELLO?????? you can do THAT????”

he smiled in front of you, that’s it he’s fucked

he quickly drops it and is back to his normal narrowed glare

“i did no such thing”

you give him a knowing look but sigh airily there’s no point in getting the man to admit it

“what would you like today, a frappe?”

you ask the sarcastic question even though you know he hates change. his usual order is already ingrained in your mind. you know it off by heart

he sighs in exasperation

“is your memory really that bad?”

“nope. cinnamon rolls and black tea it is!”

[the-english-student-studyblr]

Writing a dissertation

These are mostly tips for an English/humanities undergraduate dissertation, but some of it may be applicable to any long term project.

Proposal:

The first thing you will be asked to do (and will probably already have done if your uni is anything like mine) is to come up with a dissertation proposal. This basically lays out what you're going to research, what sources you're going to start your research with, why it interests you etc. It's sort of like a very very rough draft of what your thesis statement will be. The most important thing to consider when writing a proposal is your personal interest in the topic. If you pick something because you think the department will like it, then you're going to get burnt out super quickly and hate your work. If you pick something you're really passionate about, the work will be, well not easy necessarily, but less like pulling teeth.

Another thing to consider is how adaptable the topic is. You might find that, as you're researching, your original proposal morphs into something entirely different, and having a proposal that is open to that kind of evolution is ideal. My original proposal was about how literature effects our perception of history, which narrowed down to unchecked allegories and portrayals of the British empire in children's lit and how they continue to influence children in the modern day. Two very different topics, but that's what happens with research.

Research:

START YOUR RESEARCH EARLY.

That's my biggest tip for you. The earlier you start it the better. If you have primary sources (if you do lit, basically) try and finish them before your dissertation term starts, or make sure you know them very well. One of the advantages of using children's books is that I already knew the stories well, because I'd grown up with them, but if it's a book you love then reading it in the holidays shouldn't be a problem.

Once that's done, you can start your research. If you have highly influential theory texts to read (Said, Freud, Foucault, etc.) that make up the backbone of the research in your field, read that first. At least then you'll have a starting point for the rest of your research. After that, do a search in you uni library system, or websites like jstor and proquest that most unis have access to. Take notes on this research as you go along, important quotes, key arguments, facts and figures, anything that might be useful. I'll do another post about research and how I do it, because I think that would be helpful but it's too long for this.

Supervisors:

Your supervisor is your best friend. Use them. I was super intimidated by my supervisor because she'd edited the most recent copy of one of the primary texts I was using, but once I actually knew what I was doing, she was so helpful, and so enthusiastic. It was really nice to have someone there who was knowledgable, but also genuinely interested in what I was researching. Your supervisor is normally assigned to you based on your proposal, but some departments make you find one yourself. In any case, they're extremely knowledgable in your chosen field, and therefore know all the research sources you will ever need. Every time I had a meeting with my supervisor, I ended up with at least 3 more books to read. It was terrifying but also amazing, because I would not have found half of them on my own.

Some unis will tell you there's a limit on how many meetings you can have with your supervisor (ours said 5 for the whole term), but I would advise asking your supervisor directly about this, because mine didn't care and would've let me meet with her every week if I'd asked. Even if you can't have loads of meetings, they'll normally reply to any emails you send (and believe me, I sent so many emails, especially closer to the deadline).

These are just a few tips for the start of your dissertation journey. Part 2 will be research, because that's big enough for its own post I think.

[sanguineness-wings]

Why are you running?

(read on ao3)

Pairing: Hawks x gn!Reader

Rating: SFW

Warnings: bird traits/instincts

hawks/raptors have this instinct to chase and attack if you turn your back on them, so what if you accidentally trigger it 👀

----------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was dipping low on the horizon, sending amber rays of light between the tightly packed skyscrapers. You shield your eyes from the light as you step out of the convenience store, your groceries in hand. After you take a moment for your eyes to adjust, you note a small crowd gathering just up the sidewalk from you. And from the center of it sprouts a large pair of crimson wings.

It’s a dead giveaway, those wings were plastered everywhere across the city, on billboards, on buses. There’s no escaping Hawks’ image.

As you watch on, the man himself suddenly hovers above his adoring fans, stretching out his impressive wing span leisurely. Leaving you with a perfect view of his wind tossed hair kissed with dying sunlight and a lopsided smile on his lips.

It makes your heart clench as you look on with awe. He’s so effortlessly beautiful it hurts to look at him. It’s also incredibly intimidating. How can those fans just talk to him like it’s nothing. You couldn’t even imagine.

Your staring must have caught his attention as suddenly his gaze turns and locks onto yours. You feel your stomach lurch, frozen with embarrassment. Hawks has the audacity to offer you a softer smile, making your cheeks heat up instantly.

Your brain screams at you to leave now. Your shyness urging you flee the unexpected attention. So you sharply turn your back to the crowd, and the gorgeous Pro Hero, and hurriedly make your escape.

Without consciously knowing why, you take a final glance over your shoulder. Even with Hawks’ signature visor over is eyes, you can see his pupils dilate, nearly completely blown black before constricting to tiny pin pricks in a split second. His smile has fallen from his face, leaving behind a cold blankness. A shiver runs through you and a cold sweat breaks out under your collar.

Your brain unhelpfully supplies, “Haha, I’m in danger!” Adrenaline courses through your veins and you run. A full sprint down the sidewalk in panic. It’s a ridiculous response in hindsight, but you’ve never seen such an inhuman look on Hawks’ face.

You barely make it a few feet before you feel a gust of wind behind you and suddenly your vision is nothing but red. Massive wings envelope you entirely as powerful arms lock around your waist, almost bruising in their strength. You’re dragged to your knees as the body behind you curls over your spine. You feel the prickle of stubble against your neck and jaw, hot puffs of breath against your skin. You’re utterly trapped.

All logical thoughts are thrown out the window with your heart thundering against your ribs. You don’t dare move a muscle.

An indiscernible amount of time passes before you hear a huffed laugh next to your ear, making you shudder.

“Well, isn’t this embarrassing, damn. I’m really sorry about all this. Are you alright?” Hawks says in a tight voice as he slowly releases you from his grip.

You’re shaking as you awkwardly stumble to your feet, Hawks aiding with a gentle, gloved hand on your elbow. When you finally get the courage to glance at his face, your heart does a somersault in your chest. A light blush dusts the bridge of his nose and the apples of his cheeks. He has a hand behind his head sheepishly, using the other to steady you on your jelly-like legs.

“I haven’t done something like that since I was a teenager in training,” he admits, bashfulness coloring his voice.

“…and what was that exactly?” You finally find your voice, wincing inwardly at how shaken it sounds.

“Oh you know, like…bird stuff? Well, hawk stuff? Like predator instinct?” Hawks shifts from foot to foot, looking anywhere but you.

“Like...you thought I was prey?”

“No! No, it’s not like that. Well, I mean kind of. But not really? It’s hard to explain. You turned your back and I just…couldn’t help myself. I’m really sorry. Did I hurt you at all?” Seeing this level of uncomfortableness on Hawks was so jarring from how he normally carries himself in the public eye. It was like all of his confidence was parred away. 

“I’m okay, really. Just gave me a fright, that’s all.” You’re really trying your best to sound casual, adding a weak laugh to hopefully defuse the tension.

He humors you, offering a half-hearted smile as he stoops down to gather up your groceries that you didn’t notice had spilled across the sidewalk.

"Well, if you’re sure you’re okay, I should be off. A hero’s job never stops.”

And with that he’s gone, taking off into the sky. You stand there dumbly on the sidewalk in shock for a few beats.

You then hear murmuring, whispering, and the click of photos being captured. Horrified, you realize Hawks’ fans were watching everything and recorded every second of it. You curse under your breath as you start rushing home, ignoring the growing crowd behind you. If Hawks wasn’t going to eat you alive, the internet certainly was.

---

Get it together, Hawks. What the hell was that?

The winged hero cursed at himself with gritted teeth and a furrowed brow as he shot across the sky. He shouldn’t have done that. He was trained not to do that. The Commission pushed him hard to ignore the animalistic pull to hunt and another traits they deemed unsightly or dangerous. And he had gotten good at suppressing those instincts. He passed all of their tests and drills after years of intense training. He never had a slip up since starting his Pro career.

His mind was racing as he tried to pin point what made him react like that. Did he let his guard down? Got too comfortable in the moment?

He thought of the way you trembled in his arms, immobilized with fear. The thundering of your panicked heart and the quiver of your voice. A shiver crept down his spine, making his hair and feathers stand on end. He liked it. The thrill of it all lighting up parts of his brain long neglected. 

A frustrated growl escaped his lips, lost to the roar of the wind around him. He really shouldn’t be entertaining those thoughts, even for a moment. He felt gross. 

He dug his phone from his pocket, sending a text to his PR manager. The least he could do was give them a heads up. Though pictures and videos of the whole incident were probably already circulating. His PR team had their work cut out for them, it was a seriously bad look for the hero. 

Almost immediately after he sent the text his phone buzzed angrily with replies from his team and an incoming call from the Commission. His heart sank to the pit of his stomach. It was going to be a long night.

---

The days following were a nightmarish blur of embarrassment and anxiety. Your brief brush with Hawks was plastered across every social media platform. You couldn’t escape all of the memes and GIFs. You wanted nothing more than to blink from existence.

Most people thought the whole thing was funny, even wishing it was them tackled to the sidewalk by Hawks. Your coworkers teased you mercilessly, constantly asking if you at least got his number afterwards. 

There weren’t many, but a few comments filled you with anger. They were using this to fuel for their hatred towards those with heteromorphic quirks. They claimed that this proved they were dangerous, nothing more than animals. Which, of course, was ridiculous. 

But you did your best to keep your head down and ignore the notifications on your phone. You kept reassuring yourself that this would all blow over soon. And sure enough by the end of the week the internet was distracted by “leaked” selfies of Hawks in grey sweatpants, posing in front of a bathroom mirror.

---

Hawks had just started an early morning patrol as he glided and weaved through the streets. He’d been taking on extra hours lately, finding it easier to distract himself on the job rather than staring at his bedroom ceiling. Who needed sleep anyway. If he stopped, all he could think about was you. The fear on your face. Your frantic pulse against his skin. Guilt gnawed away at him. He didn’t want to scare you, what type of hero would he be if he did. 

Instead of dwelling on the thoughts eating at him, he focused on the streets below him. It was relatively quiet, only a scattering of people going about their lives. He swooped lower, maneuvering between lamp posts just for his own entertainment. He pulled up short abruptly, nearly smacking into one of them.

His heart lurched in his chest, recognizing you immediately as you made your way down the street. He had a little mental battle with himself. Half of him wanted to talk to you, just reassure himself that you were truly okay after all this madness. The other have was telling him to leave you alone, that he’d only made it worse.

After hovering awkwardly for a few moments he made his decision. He made a show of circling ahead of you before landing, trying not to startle you. 

---

Having Hawks appear in front of you was the very last thing you expected on your walk to work. You had convinced yourself that you’d never see him again and that, even if your paths crossed, he wouldn’t want to be seen with you.

Yet here he was, with a charming smile on his face and feathers gleaming in the sun. 

You approach him cautiously, pulling out your earbuds. “Um, hi?” you start apprehensively, not sure what the hero could possibly want from you.

As you catch up to him he starts walking beside you, joining you on your commute. His wing stretches out behind you and curls around your side. Smart, you think. Even if the two of you catch someone’s eye, you were largely blocked from view.

It’s comfortably warm beneath his wing, with your shoulders brushing against each other as you walk. Your heart speeds up a little, being this close to him is a little overwhelming. Especially with the memory of him being pressed over you still fresh in your mind.

“So, I wanted to start over, if that’s alright with you. I don’t think I gave you the best first impression,” Hawks explains, his eyes fixed ahead.

“Definitely a memorable one,” you quip lightheartedly. You were more mortified by all of the unwanted attention. You knew deep down you were never in any real danger. 

Hawks snorts, making you glance at him. You watch him roll his eyes. “Not my best moment. I’m really sorry I scared you so badly. I swear I’m not going to hurt you, or anyone.”

It makes you pause as you stare at the side of his face. “I know you wouldn’t. And you didn’t even leave a mark. We can just say it was a...weird, unexpected hug. Leave it at that.”

Hawks’ gaze catches yours for a brief moment before looking away quickly, a serious look sliding onto his features. “You know that’s not what it was.”

“I know but...I’m not going to judge you for your bird stuff, or whatever it is. You’re still human. Even with the wings. We all have weird, awkward tendencies. I’m a mess of them too, and I don’t even have a Quirk. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.

“So don’t beat yourself up too much,” you say, gaining a bit of confidence the more you speak. “You’re not a monster.”

Silence stretches between the two of you, both lost in thought. You surprise yourself when you are the first to break it. 

“Besides, I thought we were starting over. I’m y/n,” you begin, nudging his shoulder with your own as you offer him a warm smile.

“I’m Hawks, but you already knew that. Say, why don’t I treat you to some coffee. There’s this great little cafe not far from here. They have these pastries that are to die for. Trust me, you’ll love it!” The hero chatters away, with you still safely tucked away under his wing.