#am i still working on the fwb fic? yes

[reiderwriter]

I'm Your Fluffer!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x female reader (best friends to lovers)

For @imagining-in-the-margins FWB Challenge!

Prompt: "I'm your boyfriend without the benefits." "Do you want the benefits?" "Yes- No... I'm your fluffer!" (Inspired by New Girl) (yes, I suggested this prompt, bo idc if that's cheating)

Warnings: Mentions of BDSM, unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, choking, mentions of spanking, and butt worship, slight Dom Spencer, bratty reader, creampie. The classics, yk.

A/N: I'm back!!!! I took a break because I couldn't bring myself to even look at a word document for about a month, but there's nothing like a Pom challenge to get me writing again! I did have a lot planned for my 1 year anniversary, but because I was sick, and then busy, and then work got hectic, I had to put it off. I still am going to try to finish my kink bingo Carr, though, even though its a month late, but I had two fics left iirc, and I have both of them plotted, so I may as well! I will, however, be abandoning the final epilogue of I Can't Help Myself, because I wrote myself into a depressed corner with that one, and honestly, some people were getting very pushy about it, and it wasn't fun anymore. Anyway! This one was fun to write, so I'm going to stick to one shots for the foreseeable future, or incredibly limited series.

Masterlist

Spencer was your friend. A good friend. Your best friend, perhaps. A really good, very best friend.

Obviously, you were good friends because he always knew when you were feeling down. He bought you flowers regularly when he passed by flower shops. He came over to your place and helped you build every piece of flatpack furniture you had, which, as a single woman in your mid-twenties, was every piece of furniture that you owned.

You really looked forward to the movie nights the two of you had weekly. The popcorn, the blankets, the cuddling, his lips by your ear, in-time translating the foreign movies word for word as you watched it, the shivers down your spine as you pressed further into the heat of him.

Spencer was the best best friend you could ask for.

He was also the most frustrated.

“Kid, what are you doing this weekend? I'm thinking of hitting some clubs, you know, getting my groove on, maybe meeting A few ladies,” Morgan smirked, rubbing his hands together as he gently moved side to side, already dancing to himself as he anticipated his big weekend out. “You in, or are you in?”

“I can't. I promised Y/N I'd help her with some document digitalisation. We're going to order pizza and watch Star Trek while backing up her entire paper trail.”

The smile on Spencer's face was so stupid that Morgan had to stop himself from wiping it off of him immediately.

“Man, you are so down bad for that girl,” he mused, shaking his head.

“What? Down bad?”

“You like her. It's okay to admit it.”

“We're friends. I'm happy being friends,” Spencer said, picking up his bag and walking to the elevator desperate to escape a repeat of a conversation he'd already had three times that week.

“You know everyone thinks you're dating.”

“Well aware. Despite the number of times we've both stated to the contrary, people don't seem to accept ‘we're just friends’ when they hear it.”

“That may be because you're doing things that just friends don't do.”

“Everything we do is totally platonic.”

“You buy her flowers-

“I buy my mother flowers,” Spencer said, turning on the man and raising his hands in exasperation.

“You know that's different. Do you buy Emily flowers?”

Silence.

“What about JJ?”

“I bought JJ flowers!” He grinned triumphantly until the other man spoke again.

“When she was in the hospital. Giving birth. Okay, what about the movie nights?”

Rolling his eyes, the younger man walked on, pressing the bell for the elevator and allowing his friend to keep bothering him.

“Friends watch movies together, Morgan. We've watched movies together, are we dating?”

“One, you are not my type, pretty boy, and two, you didn't exactly have your dick pressed against my ass the entire time we watched a film now, did you?”

“Be q- be quiet. I don't have my dick against her ass ever.”

“Oh, I'm sorry, was it pressed against her stomach instead? I know she likes to lie on top of-”

“Derek!”

The elevator arrived, and the two quickly jumped in, to Spencer's relief.

“All I'm saying, kid, is-”

“Hold the elevator!” You shouted, running to it quickly with Penelope Garcia on your heels.

“Thanks, Spence!” You said, smiling at him as you entered the small space.

And continued your not too unsimilar conversation with Penelope.

“So, as I was saying Penelope,” you shot her a look that told her you were finished with the conversation. You were not dating Spencer Reid, and you were unlikely to in the future because of his total and complete lack of interest in you.

“You can set me up this weekend, right? It's been an age since I've been on a date, and I would really like to-” you glanced around the elevator and whispered the end of your sentence, suddenly mindful of your company. “You know.”

“If you're absolutely sure, I have a few men in mind that could throw you about, but-”

You squealed and squeezed the woman as the elevator landed on your floor and jumped out of the elevator quickly, cheeks burning.

“Thanks, Pen, you're the best!”

“Y/N, wait,” Spencer called out behind you, desperately holding the elevator open for a few more seconds.

“I thought we were doing your papers this weekend? Star trek, pizza, remember?”

You stared guiltily at the floor as you forced your voice to sound as casual as possible, not sure you could make any excuse that didn't sound pathetic.

“Oh, sorry, Spencer. I totally forgot. We can rain check, right? I… I really need this.”

Spencer was aware of what disappointment felt like, but it never hollowed out his chest like your lack of eye contact in that moment did.

“Yeah. Sure, of course. We can do that whenever.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Spencer. You're the best… friend.”

He smiled and let the door finally shut, aware of the two sets of eyes now watching him.

It took a surprisingly long time for the ‘I told you so’ to come, but come it did, as if Morgan were unable to help himself.

“You're telling me that you're not into her at all?”

“I'm…not into her like that at all.”

“And you're fine with me setting her up on a date with a man that'll do somewhat empowering, somewhat disgusting things with her?” Penelope piled on.

“What? That's…that's not my business,” he ground out.

“No. Of course it’s not. Because you're not her boyfriend.”

“Exactly, I'm not her boyfriend-”

“You're her fluffer.”

With a pat on the shoulder, the elevator hit its last stop, and Morgan exited, leaving Spencer scrambling after him as Penelope waved the two of them off.

“What? No, what's a fluffer?”

Morgan chuckled and waved him off, walking to his car.

“Come on, what's a fluffer, and why am I hers?”

“You've seen porn before, right?” The older man asked, pausing as he opened his driver side door. “Actually don't answer that. The fluffer is the person who keeps the actors and actresses… ready between takes. Prepares them for the good stuff.”

With a bright flush across his cheeks, Spencer tried his best for an indignant look, landing somewhat closer to a petulant child.

“I am not her fluffer. We have never-”

“I know you've never. If you had, we wouldn't be standing here right now having this conversation. What I'm saying is you should.”

“We're friends!”

Climbing into the car and closing the door, Morgan dismissed the younger man quickly, but he wasn't finished.

Knocking on the door, Spencer waiting a beat, then two for it to open again.

“I'm not her fluffer.”

“You build her furniture and cuddle with her. You're doing everything a boyfriend would do, without any of the boyfriend rewards.”

“What rewards?” he gasped, exasperated.

A single look was all the reply he got before Morgan out his keys into the ignition and started driving.

Spencer never made the decision to turn up at your house later that night. He just found himself all of a sudden at your front door on a Friday night, pulling out the key from the plant pot by the front door and letting himself in. Unlocking his shoes, he called out through the apartment, letting you know he was there as he slipped into the house shoes you'd bought him after the first of many movie nights.

“Spencer? We cancelled earlier, remember?” you said emerging from your bedroom, fitted in the tightest dress he'd ever seen you in. He already had no answer for your question, but seeing you like that, getting ready, he had no answer to any question at all. If you'd have asked him his name, he wouldn't have known it.

Well, he would've, but only because you'd said it only three seconds ago and had reminded him that he was, in fact, standing in your apartment when he should've been literally anywhere else.

“Um. I'm…I'm just-” he scratched the back of his neck, waiting for something to come to him.

“Spencer, I'm leaving in like an hour, so there's no time to watch a movie, and I have to get ready, so-”

“I'm… I'm angry?”

You raised an eyebrow at his questioning tone, unsure where this conversation was going.

“You sure about that?”

“Yeah..yes. I'm sure. I'm angry. We, we had plans, and you gave me like an hours notice and cancelled them to go do something stupid-”

“Spencer! I'm going on a date. That's not stupid.”

“It is when you have me!”

He half shouted, half murmured the words, as if he himself were unsure of how confident he was in making that statement.

“That came out wrong-”

“Yeah, I think it did.”

“What I mean is- I mean…Morgan said that-”

You crossed your arms and sat yourself on the arm of your sofa, looking forward at him and waiting for him to get through whatever this was. You hoped the entire time that he was saying what you'd wanted him to say for the last year and a half.

“Have you ever watched porn?”

Not what you were hoping for, but a start, at least.

“Spencer!”

“That came out wrong, I- don't throw the couch cushions at me. I have a point, I swear!”

You lowered your next projectile and gestured for him to go on, not fully relinquishing it just yet.

“I'm your fluffer! I get you…in the mood for dates, and- and- I do all the boyfriend stuff without any of the boyfriend benefits!”

He stood in front of you, red-faced, and you stared him down a second or two as you collected your thoughts.

“Do you…want the boyfriend benefits?”

“Yes! No, wait - wait a second. I- I- What are the boyfriend benefits exactly?”

You threw the pillow down and turned your back on him, not entirely sure what you were expecting from the most oblivious genius on the planet.

“Y/N, wait. Wait-”

With a hand wrapped around your wrist, Spencer spun you around, and, tripping over your feet, you landed hard on your sofa. Your fall should've been relatively pain-free, but for the 6-foot man that landed directly on top of you.

“Get up.”

“What are the boyfriend benefits?”

“You should know if you're saying you want them! Now, get up!”

“Not until you tell me.”

“Spencer!”

“Y/N!”

You groaned and writhed under him, but he just dropped his weight onto you, unmoving, hands pinning your wrists lazily, leg poking between your two, hips pinning yours.

It certainly wasn't the closest you'd ever been, but in those circumstances, during that conversation, you felt more flustered than you had before.

“What are the benefits.”

“You really want me to say? You're not afraid it's going to throw off our friendship, ruin whatever good thing we have going?”

“I think that if you go out tonight, and enjoy your date, and get a boyfriend, that he's going to feel weird about this good thing we have going and it's going to be over anyway. Tell me.”

You desperately searched for a way out of this situation, but a stronger part of you wanted to simply wrap your legs around him and let him take as much advantage as he could.

You settled for disturbing him.

“Fine. A boyfriend would be able to spank me.”

“Y/N, be serious.”

“I am. I like it. A boyfriend would pull my hair back and make me count as he hit my cute round ass until it turned all red, and I couldn't sit down comfortably anymore. A boyfriend would then kiss it better.”

You'd never spoken about sex with Spencer, and you hoped the vulgarity would force him back to his senses. Instead, he didn't stir, and you had no choice but to continue.

“Another boyfriend benefit would be choking me. I like that, too. Are your hands big enough to wrap around my throat, Spencer?”

“Yes.”

The answer came so quickly and do confidently, you weren't sure you actually heard it outlook until he spoke again.

“What other benefits, Y/N?”

“A… boyfriend would get to cum inside me,” you whispered, suddenly aware of hips rocking into yours slowly as his cock poked up, listening intently to the promises spilling from your lips that you likely should've regretted.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I want the benefits.”

Your body was hot everywhere he touched you, but he didn't move, didn't follow through on anything just yet. But you were aware of his head moving closer and closer to yours and panicked.

“And what have you done? As my fluffer? To deserve those benefits?”

“What have I done?” He asked, pulling back an inch. Even as his chest rested, flush against yours, your breasts pushed up against him as his hands held yours over your head.

“I-I bought you flowers-”

“Emily buys me flowers, too. So does Penelope. Should I let them be my boyfriend?”

With your hands in use, you took advantage of his distraction and wrapped your legs up and around his waist, rolling your hips up into him.

“I suppose I do like flowers, though. What else?”

“I… We're always t-together?”

“We work together.”

Using the leverage of his weight against yours, you rolled up harder into his hips, grinding into him slowly as you watched his resolve melt away.

“The m-movie nights are-”

“The movie nights where you rut your cock into me while we watch a movie? Friends do that all the time. You're just translating the movie for me after all.”

“Y/N, please don't-”

“Don't say that? Okay. I'll just let someone else hump against my thighs to get off because you're too proud to admit you want to sink your dick into me and pound me?”

“Y/N-”

“Maybe that's why you don't have the boyfriend privileges, Spencer. Because I'm waiting for something, you're too much of a prude to try-”

His lips meet yours before you can finish the thought, and you're not sure whether it's a triumph or a defeat.

After precisely five seconds of his lips on yours, though, you no longer cared.

Releasing your hands gently, he lifted his hips an inch, distracting you enough to force his tongue into your mouth as his hand found its way between your legs.

“Did you really mean it?” He asked between kisses as you rake your hands through his hair, getting lost in him. “About the benefits?”

You allowed yourself to imagine it for a second, Spencer's hands on your throat. His hands on your ass. His mouth buried between your legs.

You moaned into his kiss, and he laughed - actually laughed - as he pulled away.

“Spencer!”

“No, no, please, don't let me keep you from your thoughts, I'll just be down here.”

His fingers reached your clit and he wasn't surprised to find you already wet, legs spread. Snaking another hand to your neck though, he wasn't exactly as opposed to the ideas you'd flung at him as he'd acted.

You gasped as his hand closed around your neck, the prettiest necklace you'd ever worn. You grabbed a hold of his hands as he pulled your underwear off, pushing them down your legs as he gently pushed your legs open wider and replaced his fingers with his tongue.

You curled up on yourself, craving your body to watch him devour your pussy as you tried your best to keep your breaths shallow, to keep breathing entirely as he squeezed your throat.

His tongue licked and flattened, his head bobbing up and down and then stilling as your hips began moving by themselves, letting you ride his face as you moaned and whined and desperately ran towards your climax.

You wrapped a leg around his shoulder, pressing down on his back to keep him in position, grabbing a handful of hair as you jerked against his face, fucking it as he looked up at you through hooded eyes, drinking down every drop of you.

His hold on your neck tightened, and you felt your body shudder as you squeaked out his name, not wanting this to end so soon, needing to feel more of this. He let you ride it out until you were whining in frustration again, hips twitching from the friction of his tongue against your cunt.

Then he pushed away.

He wasn't gone long, but you followed him up. You thought about pushing him down to the couch again, thought about sitting on his pretty boy face and doing it all over again. You thought of turning over and presenting your ass to him, letting him punish you like you'd promised. Your thoughts ceased as quickly as they came when he pulled his cock free of his pants, not even bothering to pull them off fully before pulling you into his lap, lining himself up, and pushing you down onto his hot, hard, lengthy cock.

You swear you would've screamed if his to guess hadn't already claimed your mouth. A good scream. A “holy shit holy shit holy shit” scream. Definitely a “I didn't know it was that big, and honestly I'm a little scared” scream. But overall, a “god that feels so good” scream.

From the lack of movement, you were sure that Spencer was giving you a moment to adjust to his intrusion, and you were thankful as you clung to his neck, hands balling in the material of his shirt on his back.

Although he was bigger than expected, he wasn't uncomfortably large, and you calmed quickly, giving him a quick nod as you buried yourself in his neck, hiding your face to stop yourself from drooling, mouth wide as he tipped you back against the couch pillows, lifting your legs slightly and slipping his hands underneath yous thighs, and began his steady pace of thrusts.

You were sure your world was imploding on itself, that all your senses had ceased except that of touch, and his touch was fire. But you heard the wet, slutty sounds of your pussy welcoming him, you smelt the sweat against his skin, and, opening your eyes, you saw the absolute pleasure blasted against his features as he groaned in your ear.

And before you could form another coherent thought, he'd claimed another boyfriend benefit, as, rocking his hips against yours, he slowed to a stutter as he emptied himself inside you.

“Spencer!!” you moaned, but he wasn't done, spitting on his fingers and finding your clit again as you squealed, twitching and turning and milling his cock with your movements as you found your second release.

You moaned his name again, though it sounded less like his name this time, and more like a definite noise complaint from your neighbours in the morning.

“Spencer?” you asked, still trying to regain your breath as he, once again, collapsed on top of you.

“Mhmm,” he said, slowly pulling out of you, watching the mess you'd made together drip out too, and resisting the urge to push right back into you and go again.

“Was that a friendly fuck, or a boyfriend fuck?”

His eyes snapped to yours again as you continued.

“I just want to give Penelope the correct reason for cancelling on her friend when I text her-”

“I came inside you.”

“So you did.”

“Y/N!”

“.... So that wasn't a fluffer thing, but a boyfriend thing, got i-”

With a kiss, he shut you up again, and you realized quickly that you probably wouldn't have the time to send that text anyway.

[bidisasterevankinard]

Inspiration Saturday

do I want to end my royal fic? yes. was i inspired for a little more in the tuck fwb and buddie endgame fic? yes. how i see Buck here. so you can see why Eddie is jealous

Buck feels Eddie’s eyes staying on him all the time he laughs with Tommy. 

When an older man offers to go get them something to drink, he carefully walks to his best friend, seeing how the gaze of brown eyes gets darker because of his pretty clear limping. 

“I thought you wanted to bring Marisol today? What changed?” Buck sits near his best friend and closes his eyes for a few seconds from the too-fast contact of his ass and the chair.

When he opens them again he sees how Eddie holds his beer bottle so tight that his knuckles are white.

“Yeah, it would be strange to bring the woman with whom you break up, because it wasn’t working,” Eddie says only this, with his eyes continuing to watch how Tommy laughs with Bobby near the grill, making them cocktails.

“You said everything was good with her?” Buck asks sheepishly.

He feels stupid and like he is missing something, but Eddie refuses to elaborate. 

Just two days ago Eddie was almost singing how good he felt with Marisol and how he would bring her to the barbecue today. And now they have broken up.

“It was. It was a pretty friendly breakup. As friendly as it can be when a woman you asked to get official told you it would not work between two of you,” Eddie takes a sip of the beer, finally looking at him. Or better say on his neck.

“Looks like your night was way better than mine. What happened with “it is just two men playing basketball, nothing more”?” Eddie almost mocks him, throwing his words he said to the team when they were teasing him about Tommy.

Buck feels like he is scolded for something he did wrong, but he can’t understand what. He is an adult who has the right to date or sleep with anyone he wants.

“It was just a game,” Buck says and Eddie makes a face he always had when Buck dated Taylor and Natalia. 

It makes Buck’s blood boil. So his next words are way more harsh.

“But then the hot man asked me if I wanted to sleep with him and I said yes, because why not?”

“So you date him now? And what about the words for looking for someone special after Natalia said goodbye? About not rushing anything new?”

Eddie’s words almost accusing him in the crime he never knew he did and Buck wants to fight back.

“I’m not rushing. Tommy and I friends who fucked once. Big deal,” Buck rolls his eyes. “I needed sex and I had sex with a hot man who doesn’t want something more from me. And I am still waiting for this special someone, or I was, I’m trying to stop waiting for them, because I doubt there will ever be a chance for me. Yesterday I was sure that I would never have a chance again when I went to play with Tommy. So I decided to have fun.”

-

tagging @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbegins @rainbow-nerdss @rogerzsteven @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @tizniz @icecreampotluck @puppyboybuckley @pirrusstuff @aspecbuddie @devirnis @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @spaceprincessem @sherlockcrossing @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @gaydiaz @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @honestlyeddie @hoodie-buck @housewifebuck @hippolotamus @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @loserdiaz @cal-daisies-and-briars @barbiediaz @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @buddierights @mandzuking17 @monsterrae1 @malewifediaz @nmcggg @the-likesofus @steadfastsaturnsrings @gibuckaroo

[deathbyyoongx]

everytime; chapter 5 — myg

╭ chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, ...

╭ word count: 6.6k

╭ summary: Everyone knew Min Yoongi as the guy who wouldn't say no to a nice pair of tits. His cocky attitude and stunning looks made it hard for most girls to resist. And even though you would like to say you're not like the others in that aspect, you unfortunately happened to be his ex. But even though you despised his guts for the last 3 years or so, he somehow managed to find himself a way between your legs on one semi-drunk night.

╭ pairing: fuckboy!yoongi x ex!reader

╭ genre: smut, angst, bit of fluff, more smut

╭ warnings: enemies to fwb, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, jealous ex!jungkook, bestfriend!jimin, hate sex, yoongi has a degrading kink but so does yn, brat taming, hair pulling, spitting, slapping, hickeys, choking, unprotected sex (STAY SAFE GUYS!), creampie, praise kink, hand kink, possessive yoongi, sexual content ofc, mentions of drinking, ...

╭ author's note: this fic is inspired by the song everytime by ariana grande. I also recommend using the chrome extension InteractiveFics for a better reading experience ;)

I know it's been a while since I updated this fic, but when I tell you a lot happened with me this year, I really mean it lol. But hey, I'm back :) <3 I haven't reread this chapter, so there may be typos.

03/08/2023

“Taehyung has been snoring the whole night, I can’t.” Jimin complained as he took another bite of his sandwich.

“I’m sorry I have a stuffy nose.” Taehyung pouted, his mouth still full of food.

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin have been roommates ever since college. At first, they shared a place to cut the budget of their rent, but now they are just too lazy to search for something else. Even though, I think they enjoy living together and just use it as an excuse now.

Jimin took a sip of his drink. “Jungkook slept through the night though.”

Taehyung waited for you to add something to the conversation, but he noticed your absent mind ever since you guys lunched together. “You don’t seem excited to see us.” He frowned.

You snapped out of your thoughts, quickly shaking your head in disagreement. “I am just-“ You couldn’t find words to add.

“I see you recovered quickly from being sick.” Jimin said, lips curled into a smirk, making it very clear to you that he knew it was just bullshit.

Taehyung took a bite of his sandwich. “Yeah, I heard you were very sweaty.” He said innocently, not knowing the underlining truth behind Jimin’s comment.

“I…was indeed, yes.”

Jimin thought for a second, wondering if he should say what he was about to say. “I don’t want to be that guy, but you should really talk with Jungkook. The guy has been very on edge lately.”

Of course, Jungkook again. “It’s not my fault he’s like that.” Even though it felt like it was though. And the more you started to think about it, it really felt like your fault.

“Yeah, I know. But the least you could do is text him a ‘leave me alone’ instead of not responding at all.” Jimin explained. Ever since Hoseok’s party, You started to respond very drily or not even at all to Jungkook’s texts. You really had no good excuse as to why you’ve been so absent lately, especially since Jungkook knew your work schedule. ‘You’ve never been so busy, do you have a new hobby?’ Areone of the things he would ask you. Sometimes you just wanted to text him a quick and short ‘shut up’, but that would just add more fuel to the fire.

He had a point.

“I will.” Even though you said you would, you were still not sure if you’d actually do it. Jungkook had the habit to keep asking questions and you were not a great liar. And the more he’d ask, the more suspicious he’d get about what truly happened that night.

Taehyung noticed that there was a lot on your mind. “If you want to, you can come over to our place tonight. We’re going to watch that weird movie that Jin has been suggesting for the last few weeks.” He suggested, hoping it would get your mind off of things for a moment.

However, his question made the nerves kick in. “I-uhm can’t.” Clearing your throat as you said that, before taking a quick sip of your water.

Jimin narrowed his eyes, feeling a bit suspicious. “How come?”

Help me find the right excuse, someone. “I have uhm-plans.”

“Why are you stuttering so much?” Taehyung asked innocently as usual.

“With whom?” Jimin asked, but his gut feeling already knew with whom.

You just started to play with the leftover food on your plate, twirling it around with your finger like a toddler, not looking at either one of the boys. “Just…someone.” The silence after you denied to give any more information became a bit too unbearable for you. You sighed and looked up to look at them. “You’re not letting me leave until I tell you, huh?”

“Of course not.” They said in unison.

You hesitated for a sec. “Just don’t go around telling everyone, alright?”

“Come one y/n, we’re not teenagers anymore.” Jimin said to convince you.

“Okay…”It’s no big deal, right y/n? You’re just going out with your ex, nothing wrong with that. “I’m going out with Yoongi tonight.” The painful silence after that statement was killing you.

Shit.

“Wait…” Jimin said as his mind started to connect the dots. “So the guy you hooked up with the night of Hoseok’s party was Yoongi?!”

Taehyung almost choked on his drink. “They hooked up?!” He then thought for a second. “I’m surprised, but also, I’m not.”

“Are you guys going to get back together?” Jimin asked, almost sounding concerned. You low-key started to regret your confession.

What was your answer to this question? “No, I don’t think so-“ The question seemed to linger around your head. Were you? Was that what you wanted? Would Yoongi even want to get back together? I mean, the man can’t seem to keep it in his pants. Think about all those girls who probably have an unrequited crush on him, they would all pray for your downfall. And most importantly, Jia, how could you go back to work if she’d found out?

Confusion spread over Jimin’s face. “What do you mean you don’t think so?”

You were starting to get fed up with these questions which where you did not know the answers to yourself. “Look, Yoongi doesn’t seem to be interested in a relationship right now,” You say slightly annoyed. “Or so I’ve heard.” You noticed Taehyung and Jimin looking at you with a doubtful look. “And I can live with that.” You reassured.

“Can you though?” Taehyung asked a bit skeptical.

“Look if I get my heart broken it won’t be anyone’s fault but mine.” They noticed you started to get more and more defensive by the second.

“You’re out of your mind.” Jimin added.

A worried gaze started to appear on Taehyung’s face. “Does Jungkook know?”

“Of course he doesn’t.” You said defeated. “I’m not obligated to tell him.”

Taehyung and Jimin exchanged a worrisome glance at one another before turning back to you. “Look I get where you coming from, but he won’t take it that way.” Jimin explained.

“I know.” Ever since that night, a feeling of dread started to eat you up from the inside. You felt guilty, even though you shouldn’t. You told Jungkook multiple times you were just friends, but people continue to be protective about his feelings. But what about your feelings? “I’ll just…tell him myself. He needs to hear it from me you know.” You said defeated. Taehyung nodded in agreement, but Jimin just gave you an awkward smile, knowing this won’t end well.

What have I done to myself?

Work stalled and the only thing you could focus on was the ticking sound of that dreadful clock. Yoongi was planning to pick you up from work after your shift, but the idea of Jia still walking around on the work floor made you nervous as hell. How were you going to explain to her that her casual fuckbuddy used to be your boyfriend and that ever since a few days ago, you started seeing him again? The more and more you started to think about this situation, the more fucked it seemed to be. The clock hit 5 ‘o clock, which meant it was your time to head home. You quickly checked if you missed anything on your to-do list before checking out. You quickly freshened up, and if anyone was watching you right now it looked like you were running late for something. But in reality, you just didn’t want anyone to see you looking like this. Because you hated to admit it, but you did pick your best outfit for tonight. You quickly fixed your makeup and walked out of the changing room.

To your surprise, Yoongi had been waiting inside the café for you. He was wearing a nice dark blue dress shirt and black trousers. Yoongi told you to wear something nice, but not overly formal, so you just chose a nice top in combination with a skirt. And when he noticed the effort you had put in for him, a sly smile appeared on his face. “You look good.”

Your cheeks were getting a bit flushed by his compliment. “Thanks.” You looked around a bit stressed as you walked up to Yoongi, making him frown his eyebrows, wondering why you were behaving so anxious. “Let’s go though.”

“You seem to be in a hurry, but not for the right reasons.” Yoongi said as if he could read your mind. “Worried Jia will see us, huh?”

You forced a smile as you linked your arm to Yoongi’s. “Let’s just go.” You repeated. Yoongi just scoffed but did as he was told since he didn’t want to piss you off already.

Your mission of nobody of work seeing you leave with Yoongi was successful, making you feel more at ease. Yoongi let you to his car and to your surprise it was a very nice one, coming from someone that doesn’t give two shits about cars. He opened the door for you, giving you a small smile as you hopped in. He closed the door and you didn’t know why, but your anxiety was getting the best of you. Who were you kidding, of course you knew. You were going on a date with your hot ex that everyone seemed to either want or hate.

You stepped into his car, but before starting the engine he turned to you, a small chuckle leaving his lips. “Relax, it’s just me.” He placed his hand on your thigh, slightly caressing it to ease the tension.

You expect your uneasiness to be that obvious. “I know, that’s the problem.” Why did I say that?

You thought Yoongi was going to snap back at you, but instead, he just smiled. “If it makes you feel any better, you’ve done this before.” He said in a joking manner in combination with a wink, making you smile as well as memories of your past relationship flooded through your mind.

Yoongi started the engine and began driving, and what I sight to see it was. Seeing him drive shouldn’t be that attractive, but here we are. The older he got, the more handsome he got. You still remembered that shy quiet guy from high school, one that was not capable of being such a player. But look at him now, he had grown into a man, and what kind of man…One that women can’t seem to get enough from.

“Jimin and Taehyung were quite surprised when I told them we were going out tonight.” You said to break the silence.

Yoongi tilted his head in a slight surprise, his eyes still focused on the road. “You told them about us?” He almost didn’t believe it.

You rolled my eyes and chuckled. “It was hard not to. Especially after Jimin found out about the hickeys you had left on me.”

He proudly smiled at the thought of that. “My hard work shouldn’t go unnoticed.” He joked, making you smile at his stupid comment. “You seem to have covered them well though.” He added, noticing the lack of love bites on your neck, even though he knew they were still lingering.

You couldn’t help but pout as he said that. “Yeah, because of you I have to wake up earlier to cover them up with concealer.” You whined, making his heart melt by the way you said that.

“Cute.” He whispered under his breath. “I guess I’ll apologize for the inconvenience.” He said oddly formally, making you well aware he didn’t really mean it.

This was nice, you thought to yourself, but then your mind decided to ruin it for you again. Don’t feel special, he’s probably like this with all those other girls. Overthinking had become your specialty over the couple of years, especially when it was around the topic of ‘Min Yoongi.’ And now it had become a threat to fully enjoying your night. As you were staring out of the window, you started to notice the streets were getting oddly familiar. You narrowed your eyes as you carefully examined the buildings and street signs, trying your best to recognize why it all felt so familiar. But that’s when it hit you…

“Wait, are we…” You softly spoke, almost inaudible to Yoongi, but just loud enough for him to hear. However, he didn’t say anything and just started smiling at himself until you arrived. And that’s when your speculation got confirmed. A small restaurant hidden in the city, the outside covered with plants and fairy lights. “Oh my god, Yoongi.” It was the place where you had your first date.

Yoongi parked the car before he asked. “Don’t like it?” He was a bit unsure if this was the right move.

“No, I…do.” You were in awe as you looked a the place with wide eyes. “It is the same as how I remember it.” You smiled, turning to him, seeing his eyes were already on you. Shit. You were feeling those damn butterflies again.

“I’m glad you like it.”

As Yoongi and you stepped out of the car, you couldn’t help but get a little bit emotional about this place. Not only did you have your first date here, but many dates after that. You came so often that the boss started to recognize you every time you came, even stopping by sometimes to join in your conversations. A soft smile painted your face the more you thought of it, the feeling of nostalgia hugging you.

“Wait-“ Yoongi spoke before you walked in, gently pulling you in for a kiss. “Now we can go.”

This man…

The waitress outside greeted you with a bright smile as Yoongi asked if there was still a spot free for you two. She let you to a free table outside and you two happily sat down. “I don’t know why, but being here again is kind of weird.” You opened the menu, seeing nothing had changed from the last time you two ate here.

“I know right.” He chuckled, happy he had chosen this date idea. “Just pick whatever, I’ll pay.”

“It’s fine, Yoongi. I don’t care about these gender roles-”

“I don’t either, but I want to pay.”

You looked up from the menu for a second, noticing two piercing eyes looking at you. Your eyes widen, frozen in your current pose as your eyes met hers. Oh no…The woman quickly walked over to your table. Oh no…

“I thought I recognized you two! I haven’t seen you in ages, I thought you had moved to another city or something.” The old lady spoke with joy, almost sounding emotional at the sight of you. “It warms my heart you two are still together. How have you been?”

You moved your eyes over to Yoongi, not sure how to respond to this. However, he just smiled at her, ignoring the fact you were unsure what to do. “Yeah, we both were just so busy the last couple of years, plus we also wanted to save up some money to move out so that’s why. But luckily we finally found a free slot in our busy schedules to enjoy some time together again at our favorite place.”

You’ve never heard so much bullshit coming from someone’s mouth at once. However, Miss Kang was completely eating this up. “I’m happy to see you again. Can’t believe it’s been so long, you’ve really grown into adults, it’s making me slightly emotional even.” Were those tears in her eyes? “I’ll let you two be for now, enjoy the food!”

With a tilted head, you looked back to Yoongi, giving him a ‘what-was-that’ kind of look. He just shrugged his shoulders. “If you want to tell her the truth, go ahead. But then you’ll break a poor lady’s heart.” He said to toy with you, holding onto his chest as if his heart hurt.

“I don’t think I have the heart to do so.” I said, putting on my best act to sound emotional, making Yoongi chuckle.

Shockingly enough, there wasn’t a moment where you two fought or anything close to that. This was actually…really nice. But your mind knew its way to ruin it for you again. He better have not brought any other girls to this place…But then again, if he did, the owner wouldn’t have been so surprised to see us. Stop thinking! Just enjoy this for a second. You barely went out lately. It had just been work, work, and more work. Taking on more shifts you could actually handle. Jimin liked to tease you for it, saying you barely had any time for him and the boys. He then would follow up with a fake cry and dabbing away his fake tears.

The night flew by, and how darker the night got, the brighter the fairy lights shone. It seemed like a scene out of a movie, how romantic. After dinner, Yoongi invited you to his apartment, and not to do any funny business perse, he quickly added after suggesting that. So after him paying for your food, a car ride, and some more flirting, you two were standing in front of his apartment complex. You looked up at it in awe, seeing it must have cost a nice amount of money…

“You live…here?” You ask, almost in denial that this was where Yoongi lived.

He was searching for his keys as the two of you head inside. “What? I’ve been working hard.” He said nonchalantly as he noticed your wide eyes. And that’s when you realized…Yoongi didn’t live in an apartment, this was a penthouse. “Don’t forget, when you were still in college, I was starting to create a name for myself, so this just didn’t happen in one two three. And it’s not the biggest around, so no need to be so in shock.”

“But still!” You didn’t care if it wasn’t the biggest or the most luxurious, it was still something you could never afford with your café money. The two of you took the elevator to the seventh floor and you couldn’t hide your amazement at Yoongi’s living space. “No wonder girls like to spend the night with you.” You said without putting much thought behind it.

He just scoffed. “Are you saying my wonderful personality isn’t enough for them?”

You rolled your eyes and smirked. “I bet it is.”

Yoongi opened his front door, letting you into his penthouse. “Ladies first.” You stepped your first foot in and already were impressed by how nice it looked inside. It was decorated with a lot of dark and wood undertones, but you didn’t expect anything else from him. You awkwardly stood in his living room, waiting for him to say “Please, take a seat. Make yourself at home.” You carefully sat down on his sofa, watching Yoongi walk over to his liquor cabinet, and pour a drink both for him and you. He walked back to you with two glasses in his hand. “Drink up, It’ll help you loosen up.” He said as he handed over the alcoholic drink. “So tell me, how has y/n’s life been doing ever since she and Min Yoongi broke up.” Yoongi placed down the liquor bottle and placed himself next to you, nonchalantly putting his arms around your shoulders.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his weird way of asking that. “Well-” You spoke “After graduating, I just continued working at the café. And to be honest, I really enjoy it there. I’ve even been considering opening one myself, but first I need to do some more research and save up some more money to do that.”

“So you tell me, all those nights you were busy studying instead of going out, were all for a bachelor you ended up not using?” He teased. “So all those nights you could’ve been spending the night with me-”

“Augh, shut up!” You interrupted.

Yoongi laughed before taking another sip from his drink. “I’m joking, getting a bachelor’s degree in the first place is really impressive. And I’m just happy you found something that you like doing.”

“Thank you.” You smile, circling your finger on the rim of the glass. “I see your music producing has gotten you far.”

Yoongi always stayed humble. “I just got lucky, it took me a while to get here.”

“I’m not surprised though, you always had talent. I think it was just a matter of time for you to be successful.” When you said that, you spoke from the heart. On Yoongi’s free days, he would spend the night at your dorm, making you listen to whatever draft he had worked on that day. You always loved it, no matter if it was a biased opinion or not. You just felt confident he was meant to be successful.

“Is that why you’re back?” He teased. “I always knew you were a gold digger.”

“Augh-“ You playfully sighed. “You know that’s not true.” You took another sip from your drink, noticing yourself getting more lightheaded. “Does that occur often? Girls just wanting you for your money?”

“No, this all just happened recently. They are always impressed though.” Another sip. “Besides, I don’t have enough to be someone’s sugar daddy, if that’s what you’re thinking about.”

“You’ve made yourself quite the subject around the girls I know.”

“Did I?” You smirked, not because he felt proud about being the number one topic in Jia’s friend group, but more out of sheer curiosity. “Tell me more.”

“Well, especially Jia. One time she was even telling me about how great the size of your dick was.” A sign of you getting more and more intoxicated by the minute, was the fact you started to say everything unfiltered. “It drove me nuts, especially because I could imagine every single detail she described.” You said with a look of disgust. “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.” You say, turning to Yoongi with wide eyes and your hand covering your mouth.

However, he found this rather amusing. “No, no, it’s fine. Please, continue.” He chuckled. “Didn’t expect I was such a hot topic.”

“She also told me some of her friends had done the deed with you. Can’t believe you.” You said with rolling eyes before emptying your glass. “They talk about you in a way that I could never imagine.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“They act as if you’re this sex god or something.” You say with a confused expression on your face. “I’ve heard them talk about you once and I never knew people could say such filthy things in one sitting. You really got them wrapped around your finger, I got to give you that.”

Yoongi just laughed, a bit embarrassed to be honest. He noticed your face getting redder by the minute, and not because you were embarrassed, but because of the alcohol. “Your mind probably thinks, fuck, not that bastard again.” He said jokingly, even though he knew there was some truth behind it.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. “Initially, it does.” Your smile faded into a softer one as you reminisce about the former version of Yoongi. “But then I think about how you were in high school. That sweet boy in the back of the class who was even too shy to ask me out.” The smile Yoongi noticed appearing on your face made him feel appreciated, since now he knew how you really thought about him whenever his name got mentioned. “I only started to think you were a bastard after we broke up the first time.”

Yoongi just scoffed as he took another sip of his drink. “That’s when it all went south.” He laughed. “I guess I’ll have to show you the best of me from now on.” He teased as he eyed down your glass, noticing the lack of liquor left in it. “Should I pour more for you?”

You happily nodded as you handed him your glass. “Yes please!” He just smiled as he went back to his cabinet to fill your glass for round two. You just studied Yoongi’s anatomy as he was pouring the drink. How his shirt accentuated his back muscles, how broad his shoulders became as he got older, or how beautiful his long black hair was. What a sight to be seen. Yoongi turned back around, handing back your drink as he sat down next to you, in the same position as before. He took another sip from his drink, something obviously gnawing on his conscious.

That’s when he decided to ask it. “How are things between you and Jungkook?”

You couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy whenever Jungkook’s name got mentioned in conversations. Especially since you got together with Jungkook after the break up with Yoongi…“Good, we’re best friends now.” But you noticed the weird look Yoongi gave you after you gave your answer. “What?”

“Nothing.” He quickly said to shrug off any suspicion. “Why did you guys break up though?”

“Eh, it’s my turn to ask a question now” You didn’t want to keep talking about Jungkook anymore, especially when it came to Yoongi. Why would you want to be honest about your emotions?

Yoongi was a bit taken aback by your reaction. “Didn’t know we were taking turns. But all right, go ahead.”

You felt your heartbeat increase by the question that was lingering in your head. “How many other girls are you seeing beside me.”

Yoongi moved a bit closer to you. “Wouldn’t you like to know, huh?” He said he locked his eyes onto yours, noticing the seriousness on your face. “Well, that’s private.”

Your eyebrows frowned as he said that. “Private?!” You said baffled.

“Hmh? What? Aren’t you the one being secretive about us too?” He asked in the most unserious tone.

“fine”

He chuckled before emptying his glass as well. “Now, back to my former question. Why did you two break up?”

“Uhm.” The thing was, no matter how much alcohol you drank, there was no way in hell that you could tell him the real reason you broke up with Jungkook. Oh, I quickly discovered that he was just a rebound and that I was actually still in love with you. But when I wanted to get back together, you were already busy fucking half the girls of the town. So I just came to the conclusion we weren’t meant to be to start with. Yeah right. t“We just didn’t match.”

“That’s all?”

“Yup.”

Yoongi would’ve believed you if you said that statement in full confidence. But the mixture of you waiting too long to respond and saying your sentence with hesitation made it very clear to him that there was something you weren’t telling him. But he also knew he wasn’t going to get it out of you tonight. “Alright then.”

After your second glass, you realized you really shouldn’t have had another one. Because unsurprisingly enough, you couldn’t really handle alcohol that well. “Can you kiss me now though? I’ve been dying for you to give me another one but without much success.” You tried to say in your most seductive tone, but due to your drunkenness, it came out a bit funny.

“So needy all of a sudden, huh?”

“Hmh, kissy kiss please.” You pouted your lips like a fish as you leaned into Yoongi to plant one on him.

Yoongi frowned his brows as he suddenly backed away from you, a sinister smirk formed on his lips. “Wait, are you drunk already?” He said bewildered, not believing anyone could easily get that drunk.

You scoffed. “You’re a silly man with silly questions. I don’t think I am. Which means we can take this further, right tiger?” Stroking your index finger from his chest to just above his groin.

He shook his head in disbelief. “Alright, You’re drunk y/n”

“Maybe a little.”

“Well, I’m not, so there won’t be any funny business tonight.” You suddenly felt the touch of his hands around your wrist, holding your hand back from touching him any further.

“Heh!” You couldn’t believe it. “But you know I like to fuck when I’m drunk.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but smile out of embarrassment, not expecting you to have said that. Min Yoongi being a bit shy? “I know, but it’s weird when I’m sober.”

“But I’ve been dying to kiss you, touch you, fuck you.” You leaned in even closer to Yoongi, the distance between your faces being minimal, hoping this would reel him in.

But to your disappointment, it didn’t work. “I’m flattered, really, but don’t worry I won’t be going anywhere soon.”

You pouted, your heart aching from the idea that he didn’t want to touch you. How dare he. “Can we just hug then?”

“Hugging is fine.”

You quickly wrapped your arms around Yoongi, pressing your cheek against his chest, appreciating the softness of his shirt. You were listening to his heartbeat as if it were a lullaby. With every thump the relaxer you got. “I haven’t spoken to you for three years and it feels like yesterday we were together.” You mumbled.

“Weird huh?” He said softly.

Something in you wanted to tell him you missed him, but your little heart couldn’t get itself to do it. It would’ve made you too vulnerable and you didn’t want to ruin this moment to speak up about your complicated feelings for Yoongi. It could mean absolutely nothing to him, but you were just happy to be able to lay in his arms tonight. Cause after tonight, you knew he was just going to the next girl on his list. But the sudden feeling of his thumb caressing your arm as he held you made your eyes water. He wasn’t talking, just watching admiring you. The silence felt far from awkward. It was more comforting than something else.

You felt your eyelids getting heavy though. “Would you have a problem with me if I fell asleep right now?”

Yoongi chuckled, not surprised you were already going to crash. “Of course not”

“We’ll the chance of that happening is very high.” You mumbled. “Why do you smell so good.” You said it as if it was a bad thing. Which for you kind of was, because it made you crave for more of him. You looked up to him and when his eyes met yours, a smile appeared on your face out of reflex. “You’re so beautiful.”

The moment you said that, you saw Yoongi’s features soften up. His eyebrows turned into a pleading kind of expression, his eyes twinkling and his mouth slightly open. “Oh y/n…” He said as if his heart was hurting.

“What?”

He let out a defeated sigh as he tucked a strand of your hand behind your ear. “Nothing. I’m just happy to see you again.” You saw his pupils move from one place to another as he was examining your face like a work of art. “Maybe we should head to bed.”

“Ooh, we?” You teased, still trying to get him to do all those things he said he would over the phone.

“Come on.” He moved up from his seat, reaching his hand for you to take it, which you did in seconds, of course. He led you to his bedroom, seeing how luxurious it looked, making you even madder he didn’t want to do anything with you tonight. “I’ll give you my shirt to sleep in.” He walked over to his closet, grabbed a black shirt, and handed it to you.

You accepted it in full grace, happy to be wearing his clothes again. He used to do this as well when you came to his place three years ago. It almost felt like a privilege. “Turn around though.”

“Are you serious?” Yoongi said appalled, almost sounding offended. Not because he really wanted to see you naked or something, but rather because he had seen you naked multiple times, Hoseok’s party excluded. But he just guessed because it had been a long time, you had lost that comfort in him.

“Yes, this is very exclusive content!” You pouted. Yes, you knew Yoongi had already seen every little crevice of your body, but because of his abundance of experience, you became a bit insecure.  

“I’ll go ahead and brush my teeth already then.” He said, respecting your needs.

“Oh, I don’t have a toothbrush.”

“One night won’t ruin your dental hygiene.”

As Yoongi headed inside his bathroom, you quickly changed into his shirt. You were blushing to yourself, feeling rather proud to be able to wear his shirts. I hope no other girl has worn this. A moment later you were lying down on his bed, quickly realizing the sheets smelled like Yoongi. You really were on Cloud 9. After a few minutes, he came back wearing only a pair of briefs. Even though you’ve seen his chest multiple times, you still were too timid to look, making you turn your head to the side. “What’s the matter? First time seeing a bare-chested man?” He said sarcastically

“I’m feeling violated.”

He placed himself next to you, hovering over you. “Next time you’ll be drinking the weak stuff first and I’ll just drink the hard stuff myself, lightweight.” He gently grabbed your face and planted a kiss on your forehead. “Then we can get drunk at the same pace, how about that?”

You smiled, pulling him in for a kiss on the lips. “Sounds like a great idea.” This felt weird. This whole night felt weird. Not because of you or Yoongi in particular. But because it all felt like weird déjà vu. “Alright, goodnight y/n.” He said before turning off the light

“Goodnight Yoongi.” You rubbed your face against the pillow, creating a little malt to fit your face nicely to sleep in. The sudden feeling of his arm snaking around your waist almost made you cry. He pulled you a bit closer, feeling his heartbeat against your back. You smiled. Cause tonight, you were his and his only.

“Don’t kiss me I have morning breath.” When you found yourself in Yoongi’s arms, and a painful headache, the next morning, you realized how bad of a combo you and alcohol are.

Yoongi chuckled before leaning in closer to you. “Like I care Besides, yesterday you were very persistent on me kissing you.” He teased with a smirk.

“I talk a bit too much when I’m tipsy.” You pouted as you felt Yoongi’s lips on your neck.

“Tipsy?” He teased.

“Shut up.” You sat up straight, stretching your body to wake yourself up. “I can’t stay long though, I have to be at work at 12.” Your heart was feeling sad you had to leave already.

Yoongi sat straight as well. “It’s fine, I have a meeting in the afternoon, so I couldn’t stay either,” He gently grabbed your chin, pulling you in for a kiss. “unfortunately.” Yoongi moved up from his bed, stretching at well. “Let me take a quick shower before I drop you off.”

However, you did not hear that last sentence Yoongi just said. Because Yoongi was indeed, a healthy man. And healthy men would occasionally get morning wood. It was not your fault it distracted you for a minute. You quickly moved your eyes away from his clothed erection and decided to keep your focus strictly on Yoongi’s face. “Sorry, what?”

Yoongi smirked at the sight of you being flustered. “I said I was going to take a quick shower, but it seems that you were a bit distracted.”

“Just go shower, please!”

Yoongi just shook his head in disbelief. “You’re a lot of talk when you’re drunk, but sober you’re such a pussy.” He said before closing the door behind him. During Yoongi’s shower, you put back on your own clothes as you heard the shower head running. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, noticing the rubbed-out mascara that made you look like a raccoon. You tried your best to tame your hair but without much luck. You heard a notification noise coming from somewhere, but it wasn’t from your phone. Curiosity got the best of you, so you quickly took a glimpse at the text Yoongi received.

[09:21] Eunha: Yoongi~ I hope tonight is still on. I haven’t heard from you yet so I’m getting worried ㅠㅠ

The urge to text her back yourself to tell you that he was busy with someone else, was immense. But you just bit your tongue and ignored it. It was the universe telling you that you were, indeed, not special. Being Yoongi’s one and only was too good to be true. You just sighed, laying back down and trying your best to get your mind out of the gutter. After a few minutes of waiting, Yoongi was done with his shower and decided to come out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist. You really are testing me, aren’t you? You took a little peak, before covering your eyes with your arms, making Yoongi chuckle. “You can look you know? I don’t mind.”

“I feel more comfortable likes this.”

His lips left a little ‘tsk’ sound as he started to get dressed, telling you after a few minutes it was safe to open your eyes again. You sat up from the bed, smiling innocently at Yoongi as if you didn’t want him to rearrange your guts yesterday, but now you were chickening out. “y/n-” You hear Yoongi whisper, making you turn your body to him. You felt his hands creep onto your waist as he leaned in a bit. “Before we go, can I just…” He pulled your body closer to his, making you hold onto his shoulders as he gently pressed you against the door. You could feel his breath against your lips, waiting for a second before pressing his lips against yours, his lips slowly moving against yours. A rush of excitement went through your body by Yoongi’s sudden need for you. You could feel his hand squeezing your breast as if he had been waiting for the opportunity to do so, making you let out a small wince. His lips left yours and a grin painted his face. “Alright, let’s go.” You weren’t sure what just happened, or why he suddenly had the need to do that. You’d be lying if it didn’t leave you wanting more, but neither of you had the time for it anymore. Making you think he did this on purpose.

After the two of you left his apartment, he drove you back home, which didn’t take that long. Conveniently enough, his house was that far from yours. After holding the door for you again and walking up to your front door, you couldn’t believe this was already over. “Thanks for last night, I really had fun.” You said before opening the door.

“So did I.” He smiled before it turned into a slight grin. “Now that you stopped pretending you don’t want to see me, how about I come over to pick you up this Friday?”

Suddenly, the text from that girl named Eunha popped into your head, altering your answer. “I’ll think about it.” You said with a hint of sadness.

Yoongi leaned in closer, holding your waist for a second before planting another kiss on your lips. “Let me know, okay? See you soon y/n.” He smiled before letting go of you. You watch him drive off before heading into your home, leaning against the door as soon as it’s closed. But when you caught yourself being a little bit too smiley, you mentally slapped yourself out of it. Don’t do this to yourself No, you weren’t going to fall in love with him again. No matter how nice he would be to you. He was an upper-fuckboy and you should know better. You were just another one in his long contact list of girls. So tonight you made a promise to yourself. The moment you started to catch feelings for Yoongi, you would cut him out of your life.

Simple.

Taglist; @flowerblu00, @brinda-9, @seokjinkismet, @sugainmybowl, @mxxxnshine

[squarebracketsmileyface]

The gender exploration fic officially has a name now :D

It's gonna be "My Girl, My Girl, My Girl (You Will Be)" because Tim's Girl, Jay Will/could Be (eventually, they're working towards it slowly 💀) or just MGx3 (cos MG times 3 lol) for short because that's a bit of a long name and I really can't be bothered to write it out a bunch of times all the time but yay :D

I'm planning out the plot outline and chapters at the moment, which is going vaguely well, tho I'm trying to keep some kinda storyline behind it as well as it just showing what Tim and Jay get up to in their free time through August to December (cough cough their sex life through that time period). Figuring out how to keep the MH side of the story rolling is a bit tricky, because looking at the actual, irl entries, not a lot actually happens in those four months 💀

Like, Tim and Jay fight over that tape and stop working together. Jay tries to attack Tim in his home and gets ziptied. Tim goes to Benedict hall and hoody helps Jay escape. Jay goes to Benedict hall. And then it's entry 80 and Jay's dying.

Like. So little happens across all the entries uploaded, but I don't want to give them much less time and just have it that the entries were uploaded really spaced apart after the events in them happened all at once, because I wanna write a whole bunch of smut for them lol. I gotta give Jam an excuse to not just go straight to Benedict hall pretty much immediately, because like, currently? What's stopping them? Literally nothing. They could go there halfway through August and still be as well prepared for it as they were in actual MH.

They probably did go earlier than the entries were posted in irl MH didn't they lol. But I need them to have those four months to be all happy couple together, I need itttttttttttt. I also need them to have those four months so Tim can learn a bit about IIAB and knock some sense into Jay's dumb little "woe is me I am nothing but the victim" brain and set him on the road to realising that what he did was very not okay even if he genuinely thought he was in the right/doing that Alex wanted him to do even at the sacrifice of his own comfort.

COS THAT'S A THING TOO, so much of Jay's pushiness and all that in IIAB came from a place of him genuinely thinking he was doing something for Alex rather than subjecting him to it.

It feels like such a fine balance to make sure Jay isn't irredeemable. He's not malicious with anything, he's just scared of losing people by not giving them what they want, and scared of not knowing what to do to not lose someone new.

Was it stupid for him to try the choking thing with Tim when the first time he tried it caused the breakdown of his and Alex's fwb relationship? Yes. It was so fucking stupid. But Jay was scared and hey either it was going to be fine, or it'd drive Tim away rather than letting him be the one to leave and Jay was still rather in the mindset of thinking Tim would leave him at some point and he couldn't stand the thought of that. It'd be much less painful if he drove Tim away.

He still kinda thinks that honestly.

Doing that kinda thing to get what he wanted from Alex had worked and been 'fine' every time up until Jay actually put himself in harms way with it. So like, he didn't exactly put two and two together while he was freaking out a bit with Tim.

Also with how it went with Alex that last time, Jay was still vehemently ignoring that he was even somewhat at fault for that fwb relationship ending. Sure he knew he'd done something wrong, but he refused to figure out exactly what and actually think about what that meant for himself. Alex never told him what he did so it was a lot easier to blame Alex and hate him rather than actually look at himself and his actions. It was also easier to think of it more as Amy taking Alex away from him, or poisoning Alex against him than to think that he was actually the reason for Alex finally telling him to fuck off.

No one wants to think they've done that. No one wants to think maybe they pushed for something someone doesn't want to do a little too hard, and really really hurt that person who they care about deeply.

Then there's the whole thing that a lot of what Jay did in uni, he also wasn't super comfy with? He was just so completely convinced it was what Alex wanted because of all their previous interactions. Then he got it so in his head that when Alex said he *didn't* Jay just couldn't wrap his head around it and assumed Alex was making *himself* uncomfy in order to try and cater to Jay's crush on him, and Jay much preferred being uncomfortable himself than making Alex uncomfortable.

And that's what he saw it as. He saw it as him sacrificing his own comfort for Alex's a lot of the time. Like, yes. He enjoyed the rougher sex and all that and they had a lot of times that I haven't actually specifically written where they just had fun with it and enjoyed it a hell of a lot. Most of their uni relationship wasn't bad. Most of their uni relationship was just kinda fine. Not great, neither of them were completely happy with it, but it wasn't the level of toxic that it could be all the time.

[tm-trx]

currents.24[2024]

selections from my week in media [9-15 june 2024]

[anticipating]

Khemjira - paranormal BL - I need it to premiere yesterday. Yes, "never trust a Thai BL trailer" but my hopes are so up. That trailer is amazing.

The Rebound - sports BL - The lead pair's acting has improved by leaps and bounds since their first drama together, so I'm looking forward to seeing them in something new. Meen is apparently a very good basketball player so that bodes well for a more than usual amount of on-court action in the show.

Sunset x Vibes - workplace romance with a supernatural twist BL - I'm excited to see MosBank in a new drama together.

[listening]

"Fancy" / Twice

"FWB" / Great Sapol, Wandee Goodday OST

"Like It" / SHINee

"Next Level" / aespa

"Satellite" / SHINee

[reading]

How a Resurrection Really Feels by LiarsandThieves22 - Steve/Eddie Stranger Things canon-divergence fix-it fic - I loved this story so much: nice and long, Steve-centric, and chock-full of all the found family vibes.

Most Ardently by Gabe Cole Novoa {4 stars} - A queer YA Pride and Prejudice retelling - I enjoyed it a lot and thought the author did a great job reinterpreting the familiar story beats.

[watching]

House of Stars, ep 1-3 - I don't remember why I had this on my watchlist for the year, but I powered through the first three episodes and now I'm kinda hooked. Toey is the standout and I hope he gets his own little plot. I will never get tired of his reactions to Pitch's nonsense.

Lovely Runner, ep 1-4 - I am loving it so much, wow. The time travel mechanic is different than any I've seen before, so that is keeping me guessing. I'm curious to see how it evolves over the rest of the series now that the (seemingly) big reveal about how it works has happened. I didn't know that Kim Hye Yoon was the female lead or I would have started it sooner. I adored her in Extraordinary You and she's still a delight.

Wandee Goodday, ep 7 - Another great episode this week. The fake breakup for their fake relationship actually hurt quite a bit to watch. Yak taking his necklace back was physically painful. I loved it though. The less said about Ter, the better. ugh, Ter. But, I finally remembered to look up the theme song and discovered that Great sings it?! He sounds so good, I love it.

previous Currents posts

.

[at-thestillpoint]

for the wip meme: it was never really a question that I was going to ask for more about the Olympics AU

[ ask me about my wips ]

I have not touched the document for the (Summer) Olympics AU since the Closing Ceremony of Paris 2024 gave me a four-year reprieve on my deadline. (God help me if I'm still writing it four years from now.)

Here are some previous snippets for fun: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. It's a real problem that #3 is from almost exactly a year ago! And the context around #5 has really evolved from what it used to be.

Have the next several sentences:

“That is not what Callie Bassett is worried about.” He reels back, hands tightening around her hips to steady them both at his sudden movement. Natasha whines at the loss of contact, palm at the back of his head trying to press him forward, but he stays put.  “Bassett? She married that guy?” “Yes,” she says, prickly in her response in order to stave off the shakiness that she suddenly feels. I would’ve married you, Natasha had almost said, the thought rising from somewhere so deep inside her she didn’t know it was still there. It’s a path she can’t let herself go down right now, or ever, so she turns to indignation for her friend instead. “They’re very happy.”

This scene has changed a lot since I first imagined it. It was supposed to fade to black with something very suggestive (in the spirit of "let me show you how active I am"), but I was playing with plot beats like Legos, and realized it actually works really well as the lead-in to a huge emotional moment for the two of them. That moment was supposed to be the switch to Jake's POV, but I've since decided I'm sticking to Natasha's POV, because certain things are just more interesting when we don't know what Jake is thinking or feeling.

I have most of the rest of this outlined, but I think I stopped writing it for a beat because I feared the direction I was taking it was too melodramatic (we have exes, we have walking away at crucial moments). My plan is to finish the other FWB fic and the next chapter of the politics au, and then finally turning back to this.

[musings-and-moans]

watermelon sugar (kinktober day 1)

kink(s) of the day: overstimulation and squirting | kinktober masterlist

(want to be tagged in the kinktober masterlist?)

submission for: @ickyism’s Tropical Kiss Collab (thank you for organizing this💕, i think i am still early because timezones :D)

features: levi ackerman x fem!reader (afab!, uses she/her pronouns) (college AU) | wc: 4450 | song: watermelon sugar - harry styles

warnings: overstimulation, squirting, alcohol consumption, oral sex (m! and f! receiving, not in a 69 position), face fucking (if you squint), fingering, doggystyle, unprotected sex (pull out game strong, so dw), rough sex, pet names (baby, minx, captain), cum on ass, almost getting caught in class, implied creampie later (on the pill)

beta reading: @littleoanh (thank you so so so much 💕)

networks: @tokyometronetwork @hanayanetwork @downtown-roponggi

synopsis: you were in a bar, sitting with your best friend, talking about and reminiscing that summer fling or friends with benefits, if you will, which you hoped could have been something more.

a/n: welcome to kinktober 2022! this is very my very first try in working on this and i hope you all enjoy this <3 keep in mind that i may not post everyday because life happens, but i will complete them soon :D do fill my taglist and follow @shynahasabookshelf and turn on notifications to receive new updates on my fics. as always, likes, comments & reblogs, especially reblogs are appreciated. also, make sure to have ages on your bios. minors, ageless and blank blogs please dni, i will block you.

The bright lights of the bar caused your eyes to twinkle as you were in the most popular bar on campus with your friends, drinking away, enjoying the last couple of days of your summer vacation. The final year of grad school was waiting for you with bated breath and you were not wanting to think about that. Instead, you were sitting at the bar table with your best friend while your other friends were lost amongst the crowd on the dance floor. 

“So, bestie,” your BFF calls out to you, and then whispers loudly enough for you to hear, “did you get laid throughout this summer?” You felt a sense of fluttering in your tummy as you heard the question. “Come on, now… tell me, pleaseeeee?”

“Okay, okay, okay,” you calm her down and tell her, “yes. I did.” She widens her eyes at you. “Wait, really? For how long?” You winked at her and smirked, responding, “All throughout the summer,” causing her to open her mouth wide in shock. “OH MY GOD!” She screams as you try to shush her to avoid embarrassment. 

“Spill the tea, sis! Come on, you got more action than me, and didn’t even tell me about it!” Chuckling, you responded, “Well, it was a FWB. What do you want me to do, go around and spread the word?” Both of you giggle as she asks, “Seriously though, tell me!” You nod and then continue, “Well, remember the time you had to leave for your internship and there was this summer class I had to take ‘cause I needed to work on my research otherwise? It happened then….”

As soon as you entered the classroom, you noticed the seats were almost all occupied except for one. As you walked to the empty seat, your eyes fell on the guy that sat beside you. He had short, straight black hair that was styled in an undercut curtain, narrow and seemingly intimidating dull gray eyes with dark circles under them, and a deceptively youthful face. He was wearing a white t-shirt and black pants with white stripes, which casually showed off his well-developed physique and muscles, but he gave a deadpan look at the board while flicking a pen where the professor was writing the notes. His face seemed extremely calm. One could never guess what he was truly thinking. 

As you collected yourself, quickly sat down, and nodded at this guy that caught your gaze. Thankfully, he nodded in return, from his peripheral vision, he took notice of you. You seemed excited for something, as you took out your notes, your laptop and your stationery as you were starting to pay attention to the lecture. His gaze lingered on how you tucked the stray locks of your hair behind your ear and how you straighten your glasses. Suddenly, you turned to his direction as the professor called out his name, “Levi, Levi, Levi!” He snapped out of his reverie as he turned to Professor Erwin Smith who was asking him something. Fortunately enough, Levi was able to answer correctly, surprising you. You, on the other hand, didn’t really surprise him when you were able to answer the questions addressed to you, however, he was taken aback by how chatty you seemed, yet you knew when to keep to yourself. 

As class got over, you started packing your bag when you heard someone clearing your throat beside you. You turn to see that it was the good looking man. “Are we going to keep stealing glances like this, or are we finally going to introduce ourselves?” Chuckling, you respond, “Ah, I like that you’ve taken interest in me. Anyway,” you put your hand before him and introduce yourself. He then shakes your hand with his, giving a firm grip, responding in a way that catches your ears, “Your name is interesting. I hope I get to see you around more. I am Levi, by the way. Just Levi.” 

“Just Levi, you say?” You raise an eyebrow, and continue, “It’s a pretty common name, you know? There are probably millions that have the same name as you.” With that, he smirks, and responds, “But there’s only one me. Why don’t you come to the summer party tonight at the club downtown to see?” You throw in a half-smirk his way and respond, “Well, you put in an offer I couldn’t just refuse, could I?”

That very same night, you walked into the club in a silver shimmery dress that went up to your knees and showed all of the curves well. You’d gotten your hair styled and were excited about the first night of the summer classes as your hips swayed to the music while drinking your favorite cocktail, a strawberry daiquiri. As your eyes turned to the end of the bar table, you saw the Levi that met you in the morning but he was dressed very differently. He wore a light blue t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket and black jeans. He had the similar expression you saw at the beginning of the class but his gaze softened as it met yours, prompting him to smile. 

Levi then approached you oh so confidently with a glass of whiskey in his hand and spoke, “Fancy seeing you here.” You chuckled and responded, “Oh, so you didn’t think I’d show up, huh?” With a half-smirk, he retorted, “You seem to be a little miss goody-two-shoes for me to expect you here.”

You were not sure whether you should be surprised, offended or flattered by his choice of words, so you threw in a half-smirk, scoffed a bit while running your index finger along the rim of your glass so as to draw his gaze on to the drink, and retorted, “Well, as you can see by the drink that I’m holding, that I’m not. I like to party, I just don’t do it often.” Puckering his lips, he responds, “Why? Boyfriend troubles?” Swatting your hand in the air, you shook your head in disappointment, “And here I thought that you thought of me to be goody-two-shoes! It could be possible that I don’t want anything to get in the way of my research? Also, didn’t you mean ex-boyfriend troubles?”

Levi responded, “Ah, so you’re a research scholar I see, I am impressed!” Then he briefly lowered his head in embarrassment, “Oh, my bad. I’m sorry. When did that happen?” Pondering, you answered, “A couple of days before the spring finals. He started dating a girl through Tinder while keeping me in the loop. I slapped him when I found out.” He clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Really? Tch, men these days. Well, that’s a shame. That fucker doesn’t know that he’s let go of something precious. I’m glad that you slapped him.” Your gaze then fixates on the man in front of you, “You think so?”

He then comes closer to you, his face being inches away from yours, you could somewhat smell the whiskey off of him but you didn’t mind a bit. He curtly responded, with a sense of charm in his voice, “I don’t like to waste time by lying about what I think, (y/n).” He then placed a stray lock of your hair that fell out again behind your ear. “You’re hot, you’re smart, you’re confident in your own skin. I like that.” You then move back with your hand on your chest, taking on a snarky tone, “Why thank you. I can say that you’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Levi No-Last-Name. After all, I see your groupies waiting for you.” “Tch,” he clicked his tongue again. “I find them annoying.” You scoffed, “Sure you do. You like the attention though, don't you?” Raising an eyebrow, he said, “Ooh you’re fiesty, I like that. Perhaps, we can come up with an agreement on something that would help us.” 

You narrow your eyes at him, “Okay? What do you suggest?” A knowing smile appears on his face, as he continues, “Well, with you getting away from your ex-boyfriend and focusing on your research, and me wanting to avoid those flies, how about we have a thing. You and me, for the summer. It’ll just be a FWB thing though. I don’t have to come in your way, and vice-versa.” This time, you’re the one to raise your eyebrows, “Oh? You think that in just one meeting, I’d agree to your proposition? We’re not friends, yet.” You then get up from your seat and stand in front of him, and subtly notice the height difference between you two. Scoffing, you continue, “How about we try it out tonight in that case?”

Taken aback by your forthrightedness, he inquires, “So you agree that you sense something between us?” With your lips now dangerously close to his cheek, you smile and whisper, “I’d say that there’s more than what we can sense but we’ll never know until we try, Captain,” teasing him with the nickname that he usually goes by from what you heard. It’s as if he felt shivers down his spine when he heard you, causing him to respond curtly, “What did you say?” Not sure if he heard it or not, you respond again, in a sultry manner this time. “Captain?”

Not sure if the whiskey overtook him, he softly drags his hand towards the small of your back and presses you closer to him, without uttering a word. He then drags his fingers to your shoulder, causing you to shiver with his every touch. He then slowly caresses your arm all the way to your hand, as he turns around and tangles his fingers with yours, gently leading you outside of the club. “Okay, umm,” he breaks the silence, “your place or mine?” A smile appears on your face, as you bring yourself to whisper in his ear, “Mine, please. I want to be comfortable first.” He turns his head to you, nods, then turns back, and responds softly enough for you to hear, “Of course. It’s the first priority.”

No sooner had you two reached your place, than you were glad that you were living in a single room apartment by yourself. As he approached you, his lips landed on yours, just like how you were desiring. “Fuck, your lips…” he cried out as he started to explore your lips with his while you two cupped each other's cheeks. You softly inquire, “Your hair…can I touch it?” and was met with a silent hum as you two ranked nails through each other's hair. 

To you, his lips felt cold and touch-starved, but tasted smooth, just like the whiskey. To him, your lips tasted like strawberries on a summer evening, like the daiquiri you drank. Lost in each other, you enter your home as you lock the main door. Both of you then dash toward the bedroom, jump on the bed, kissing hard, sucking on each other's bottom lip and swirling your tongues around each other, until he stopped you, and he purred, “Before we continue, I want to let you know that I may not be gentle, I may be rough, but I assure you that I'll take care of you. Do you still want me to keep going?” 

You nod, panting, “Yes, Levi, please don’t stop.” He chuckles and responds, “I will not continue until you call me what you called me at the club.” You pant, holding him, “Please don’t stop, captain.”

Giving him permission to continue, you started taking notice of every movement of his. In what felt like literal minutes or even seconds, both of your clothes were off each other and strewn all over the place. In the midst of it all, while your lips were glued to each other, you were carefully inspecting every inch of his incredible physique with your fingers, as you released yourself from the kiss, causing you to be in awe of him.  

With your consent, he roughly unhooked your bra, and discarded it on the ground with your breasts on display. “I was right,” Levi muttered when he roughly cupped both of your mounds and fondled them, his thumbs flicking your nipples, causing your pussy to throb, and you tilted your head backward, biting your lip. He increases the pace of his flicking, causing you to whimper further, and grind slowly on him.

“(Y/N), you’re beautiful,” Levi rasps in awe, causing you to blush and look the other way, the incandescent light of the moon shining on your face. He didn’t seem to be one to mince words or lie about your looks, so this meant a lot to you somehow. 

In one sweep, he picks you by your butt, with you wrapping your legs around his waist, and him placing you on the bed, with your head on the pillow. He teases while splaying one of his hands over your tummy as he sees you, “I am so glad that you kept it clean down there. Besides, seems to me like you’ve been waiting for it for a long time.” He examines your body as your wetness was a full-on display for his ravenous eyes while licking his lips.

Without telling you anything, his fingers start to explore every part of you, the wetness, the clit, the folds, every single touch was sending you into a frenzy. He starts rubbing your clit in a clockwise motion. Closing your eyes harder, you whimper while you’re arching your head up, crying out his name and whimpering, “Captain, feels so nice…”

There was an exchange of intense eye contact, moans, and groans going on as he kept stroking your clit, increasing the pace and intensity. Your voices were reverberating in the air in the room. As you were breathing heavily and trembling, he kept calming you saying, “it’s okay, I got you.” With your wetness as lube, he roughly inserted one of his slender fingers into your pussy, the slightest movement causing you to arch your back and mewl louder.

“Oh, shit you’re tight,” Levi cried, “Damn this pussy. That asshole doesn’t know what he’s missing out on,” while pushing the finger in and out slowly, stimulating you in a way you’d never felt before. You then cry, “please go faster,” while biting back a moan, to which he replies, “with pleasure, baby,” as he increases his pace. “Don’t hold back, I want to hear you moan,” he says as you move your hips along the fingering movement, continuing to moan, and he then inserts another finger and commands, “Spread your legs for me.”

As an act of obedience, you spread your legs, showing him with great detail how it looked. He first kisses your clit, still maintaining eye contact with you, but you break it to close your eyes and be lost in the pleasure. As he kisses your clit, he sucks on your folds roughly, while fucking you with two fingers. Your hands were fisting on the sheets, and you couldn’t hold back your screams as he was doing it so well. As he kept doing it roughly, a coil was slowly building up within you, eventually causing you to see stars as he took out his fingers and fully eat you out with his hands on your thighs until you yell, “Levi, I’m cumming, I’m cumming, ngh-” your legs start to tremble as the coil snaps. 

He holds you steady with his hands, causing you to have your first orgasm of the night and him to slurp in your essence. He then kisses your sensitive pussy, gets up, sucks on his fingers to taste your slick, towers over you, with his tummy pressed against yours as he kisses you fervently, both of you get to taste how you tasted. All of this happened so soon, that you couldn’t register when he put you on his lap, again, urging you to go down on him. You were shocked to see his girthy cock slap against the abdomen. Who knew that someone who was shorter than you was more than making up for it in the package department. 

Your hands stroke him, causing him to lean his head back against the headboard, and close his eyes. He then starts to feel your lips wrap around the head of his dick, touching nothing else, just your tongue swirling around slowly, getting a taste of his pre-cum. He tilts his head in your direction and his gaze fixates on you. While maintaining eye contact, your mouth slides all the way down to the base of his dick. You then start sucking him hard, enough for him to feel like you’re pulling the cum out of him.

Levi’s eyes rolled back as he closed his eyelids, his face flushed with delight. You move your lips up and down, back and forth, pushed against his firm length. “Shit,” he whimpers, calling out your name, “Don’t milk me just yet.” With a smirk on your face, you take one of his hands, run the fingers through your hair, and ask him to guide you. Levi then thrusts harder into your mouth, not wanting to actually harm you because he didn't want to overwhelm you, but you nod, allowing him. 

Only your low-sucking sounds could be heard as you continued to bob your head and groaned once or twice more, as he fucked your face. He breathed your name, writhing into your mouth. He also notices that your hands are caressing his balls. You slide off his dick and spend some time licking and sucking his balls, making him grunt, as one of your hands rubs your clit. 

“I want you to be on all fours, baby,” he rasped, getting you out of your reverie, and you looked at him in confusion. “On all fours, I’ll not repeat it again,” he commanded as you nodded, climbing on the bed and turning around with your ass on display. A shiver ran down your spine as he lined his dick into your entrance, not uttering a single word. He suddenly slammed himself into you until he bottomed out, his cock so long and girthy that he stretched your inner walls so much. 

“Crap, baby, how are you taking me in so well?” He says as he keeps thrusting himself into you. His slender hands gripped your hips tightly, thus amplifying your whimpers. His cock rammed hard into your wet pussy so much that your arms lost their strength, as you were fucked into oblivion. As soon as you paused to rest your head on the pillows, he grabbed a fistful of your hair with one hand and pulled it back, while reaching out your breasts with the other and holding them to pull you closer, steadily increasing the strength and speed of his thrusts.

He was pleased at the sight of you whimpering as your inner walls were hugging his cock so well, like they were specially made for him. Your legs were shaking from the building up of another orgasm when he leans over you, turns your face such that it’s inches away from his face and then places a kiss on your lips. “You're pretty when you cum,” he smiles, pressing your face to the pillow, “I want you to not hold back and keep moaning,” he murmurs, starting to push his hips against yours again.

As he teases your sensitive spot, the knot in your stomach begins to loosen again, your velvety pussy stretching under his thrusts even though you can't take it all in. “I'm close, I can’t take it anymore,” you warn him. He fake pouts, “But we're just getting started,” then smirks, moving his calloused thumb over your puffy nub.

“Cum for me, pretty girl,” he says, his balls slamming into your ass and lewd sounds come out of your pussy as his shaft fucks you rhythmically. Your cunt spasms around his girth as if to push him off and when you come Levi pulls out. You squirt on him, squealing his name and shaking.

His thumb doesn't stop moving in circles over your sensitive bud, “There it is,” he murmurs, working his cock back into your hole, “you did so well,” he praises you, beginning to thrust frantically for his release now. He then says, “I’m going to cum on your ass now. I love the way it looks, and it would look better with my essence all over it,” as he felt his release approaching, following which he pulled out, and sprayed his essence all over your derriere.

Panting heavily, the both of you lie down on your bed and snuggle with each other. “Okay that was FUCKING good” you broke the silence, as he chuckles. You look at him, and ask, “Is that why you’re popular amongst the girls? ‘Cause you make them feel amazing in bed?” He scoffs, responding, “They say that, but they don’t realize that sex is a two-way street. They’re supposed to make me feel good too, but they fail to do so, until just now. ‘Cause you,” he then kisses you, “you’re a minx, you know that?” You wink at him, saying, “I seem to be learning from the best,” as you both decide to go at it again, lasting all night. 

This went on for days and weeks on end. Sex with Levi was always on a whole another level. Your ex-boyfriend could never match up to how good Levi was. Both of you never told each other, but ever since you two started sleeping with each other, you two never bothered sleeping with other people. You would even take risks in the university, with him devouring your pussy one day during class, urging you to pay attention in class, and were only allowed to cum once the professor left. You were overstimulated during class but couldn’t say anything. 

Once class was over, he felt a gushing liquid coming out of you, as both of you chased your release. When you got over your embarrassment after frantically cleaning up, you asked him, “Why were you eating me out during class? You know that you’re more than capable of making me do that anywhere.” He laughed sadistically, “Because you got me addicted to you, baby.” Shaking your head in disapproval you scoffed, “Oh, please. Remind me to give you an amazing blowjob during class next time. I will overstim you so hard that you’ll see stars.” He then grins at you and says,  “Try me.” 

Your summer tryst didn’t just get you two physically close, during this time, you were beginning to get bare with each other emotionally, blurring the lines between you two in every way. You learned that his full name was Levi Ackerman, the nephew of Kenny Ackerman the trustee, the son of Kuchel Ackerman, the popular actress who died in a car accident and is related to Mikasa Ackerman, a champion in sparring. He confessed that he was not fond of his last name, so he dropped it whenever he was introducing himself in public. 

In return, you told him about your problems, and he was more than patient to listen to you rant about your research not going well. You two would cook meals and drink tea together and before you know it, both of you seemed to be falling for each other. Until one day, Levi knocked furiously on your door, with you wondering what was going on. However, you were then met with a scowl from him, who had a phone in his hand with his Twitter page blowing up. 

“What is this?” He curtly answers in a soft voice, showing you that your classmates were freaking out about Levi’s surname. Now, to some it may not be a big deal, but it was to him, you were aware. However, you were not the one to do this. You’d never hurt him on purpose. “Levi, how did this happen? I swear this is not my doing…” He entered your house with his eyebrows being furrowed further. “Explain this to me then, why this was done from your phone?” Fear gripped you, as you checked your phone, realizing that you were hacked. You didn’t know who did this or why would someone target you, but this wasn’t right. “Levi, I really did not do this. I was—” He flashed his palm so as to stop you from talking, just saying, “Save it. This, whatever we were having, it’s over,” and he left, leaving you alone.

The last few days of the summer went by, with you focusing more so on your research than anything else. However, something felt different. There was something you felt was missing, or rather a certain someone …

Your best friend then widens her eyes in shock. “Omg you were with THE LEVI?! The sex god?!” She exclaimed, “Wasn’t his last name was a mystery until recently?”

Your facial expression then turns sorrowful. “Yeah, but that was not my fault though. Apparently my ex saw me fucking him in university and he got so jealous that he hacked into my phone and spread the information. He being a comp sci student, I should have seen it coming! We argued and we stopped talking ever since.” You were upset about all that happened, but you couldn’t stay upset. After all, it was just supposed to be a friends-with-benefits arrangement, right? 

“Did I mess it up, real bad?” You softly asked your best friend, without realizing that Levi had walked up to you and stood behind you, surprising you with a, “Why don’t you tell me what happened next?” You flinch and turn to see Levi standing in front of you, looking at you guiltily. He briefly lowers his head. “I…I owe you an apology.” You stand in front of him, still hurt, but wanting him even more as you felt your heart race. “I later learned what actually happened and set him straight but could never bring myself to apologize to you until today. Would you be able to forgive me, and can we try this again?”

You stood there, stopping yourself from kissing him, retorting, “I don’t know, it did hurt, y’know…” He then cups your cheek with one hand, brings you closer and kisses you, ignoring your shocked best friend in the background. “How about now?” You throw in a half-smirk and whisper, “Only if you do that again with you cumming in me, as I’m on the pill.” As he widened his eyes, not a single word was exchanged as he held your hand and dragged you out of the club. Surely he didn’t want to miss the chance of getting washed away in you, ever again.

© Shyna 2022 - reposting on any other platform is not allowed. likes, comments, and especially reblogs are appreciated.

[spurious]

fic writer 20 questions

I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain & @nimuetheseawitch to do this one!

How many works do you have on AO3? 108. I need to add some ficlets to my collection but I've been slacking a bit on that, so.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 274,716

What fandoms do you write for? Star! Gate! At! Lan! Tis! The hyperfixation is strong ok. It's the thing that shook loose my half-decade dormant desire and ability to write, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Twenty Questions, 248 kudos 2. Ink and Wings, 221 kudos 3. Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers, 190 kudos 4. Solitary in a Wide Flat Space, 163 kudos 5. Abercrombie & Rodney, 151 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I really try to!!! One of the things that was not good about posting all my ficlets onto AO3 in quick succession was ending up with more comments than I could handle, so now I have a...backlog. Getting comments makes me feel so good though, and I just...want to honor the effort made with some of my own in return? Idk, I've talked about this a fair bit in a handful of posts but I'm just really not used to the amount of interaction I get in SGA fandom and I still feel.......very blessed lmao. Bleh sincerity on main how gross

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? We Are Standing On the Edge, a Jin/Kame fic about a road trip and the apocalypse which I wrote for @merionettes in a fic exchange in 2010.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics either have happy endings or implied happy endings? I like making good things happen to the characters I love so much. Sometimes after making bad things happen to them, but. At any rate, O I Think We Should Be Brethren is my personal happiest ending because of how long and hard a journey it is to get there.

Do you get hate on fics? I got a hate comment once, on the (in)famous Kanjani Cannibalism Fic.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Do I ever! I like to write kinky sex as a means of exploring and facilitating vulnerability. I also like to write blowjobs.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've never written a crossover! ..............I don't think, at least.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A couple of my Johnny's fics have been translated into Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not to completion.

What’s your all time favorite ship? Yokohina, Sakura/Syaoran, McShep...don't make me choose between my children like this??? Sakura/Syaoran literally invented romance for my teenage self, like I am not kidding at how formative of a ship that was for me in my life. Also why I started learning Japanese, so. Yokohina will forever be beloved to me in the same way that Kanjani8 will forever be beloved to me, in a way that is (literally) tattooed into my flesh, in a way that influenced my life massively, in so many aspects. I will never not be thirsty for the two of them saying weirdly romantic things about each other in public forums, for them being the solid foundation upon which their group is built. For Yoko being a pigtail-pulling twelve year old boy towards Hina even as they're in their mid-forties. AND THEN THERE'S FUCKING MCSHEP. A ship that I knew about when it was popular and brushed off as an Any Two White Guys, Migratory Slash Fandom Thing. A ship that, when my wife and I started watching SGA, we said "haha wouldn't it be so funny if we ended up being all in on mcshep?" A ship that resonates in my heart in the most bizarrely intense way and shook loose the desire to write and create from its atrophied place in the back of my head. I love them. I hate them. They're perfect.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have about 25k of a later-years yokohina friends to FWB to lovers fic that I wish I could finish but the McShep brainrot is.........so strong. On the other hand, never say never?

What are your writing strengths? haha so much harder to answer this than weaknesses!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I can write good funny dialogue, which is amazing to me because when I started writing my dialogue was horrendous, just absolutely awful and stilted and I hated writing it so much! like it was a running joke between me and my best friend at the time that I could not write anything that sounded even remotely natural or like real human speech. guess that shows that practice makes perfect or whatever? idk.

What are your writing weaknesses? endings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ensemble casts/scenes with more than two people in them. plots more complex than simple romantic contrivance.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? nah. It always feels a bit fanfiction.net anime fandom to me?

First fandom you wrote for? speaking of fanfiction.net anime fandom....I wrote Sakura/Syaoran angstfic into a notebook when I was 13. The first things that I actually shared with other people were either Harry Potter or the fics I wrote about the boys at my church who were just unnecessarily homoerotic with each other in the way that only teenage church boys can be (iykyk)

Favorite fic you’ve written? guess. 🙃

Tagging: @sga-owns-my-soul @stargayatlantis @hearteyesmcgarrett @texasdreamer01

[wordsinhaled]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @landwriter <3 thank you, gloam!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

14! (yes, only 14)

What's your total Ao3 word count?

14,842

What fandoms do you write for?

so far, it's been the sandman, good omens, and merlin - though i don't have any published (or finished...) merlin fics. i also just finished dead boy detectives, which may result in a bit of fic - we'll see!

Top five fics by kudos:

just pull on your hair, just pull on your pout - shameless excuse to make dream & hob make out in the cold like teenagers, inspired by the cure & a beautiful fanart of professor hob by @pomegranateruin!

eternity is in us now - dreamling proposal fic <3

if the walls were too thin, you would break right in - this was the first dreamling fic i wrote! :D

while the little moments dream - the one where dream offers hob godhood at the end of the world. soft <3

we are the cosmos fleeing the night - i think this was my second dreamling ficlet? dreamling FWB but make it still romantic

Do you respond to comments?

i'll be honest, i'm pretty bad about responding to comments - NOT because i don't appreciate them! i love each comment i receive dearly and they all mean the world to me. but being less generally flustered and knowing what to say in response to comments is something i'm working on. <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

maybe this one? all night or a hundred years is my take on the wine-sharing scene from season of mists. so you know, angst comes with the territory but that one hurts me particularly badly, so it probably fits the bill.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

it's DEFINITELY this one, which has no name and which i should probably crosspost to Ao3 at some point, but it's basically dreamling being sappy and getting married. that's it, that's the plot

Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully i never have!

Do you write smut?

i write... smut-adjacent? i don't think i've ever written like, a pure PWP before or anything i would say rates as explicit. it's just something i've never tried and feel kind of intimidated by tbh, though i'm sure it would be fine if i ever do get around to it! if anyone wants to cheerlead me through my first smut fic i am game, lmao (is there ghost detective smut on my horizon???? IS THERE??? listen. it's not an impossibility is all i'm saying)

Craziest crossover:

i am not sure i've actually written a crossover, but i just finished dead boy detectives and i have many crossover thoughts! oh, also sandman/the old guard, of course. though that's not so much crazy as reasonable, i think

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't believe so, but i would be honored!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

never, but it sounds fun!

All time favourite ship?

well, i'm a multishipper, so this one's hard - i can list my OTPs per fandom... the sandman - dreamling, gaulcienne, hob/destruction (honestly hob/all the endless thanks to @softest-punk but i particularly love how you write hob/desire) doctor who - tenrose / doctor/rose & thoschei my beloveds (particular shoutout to twelve/missy, no one's doing it like them) bbc merlin - merthur, merwaine, mergwenthur dbda - obviously edwin/charles [and edwin&charles of course\ (whatever their ship name is I REFUSE TO CALL IT CHEDWIN... PLEASE... SAVE ME...). but i was absolutely also rooting for crystal/niko in addition to that...

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh my god i have so many. SO MANY. TOO MANY. i really want to finish the dreamling fealty fic one day because i literally have 2k+ words for it already sitting in my drafts, but i have no idea if i will. also it would be nice to finish ANY merlin WIP sometime this century. i am also debating if i want to start any dbda WIPs but they are... percolating still

What are your writing strengths?

i would say conveying atmosphere in a small number of words, if i had to say something!

What are your writing weaknesses?

FINISHING THINGS! god, and i'm terrible at turning fic ideas into actual writing. the ideas form faster than i can even write them down, but writing the ideas instead of having them play out cool music video-style in my head is SO HARD! also longfic is my kryptonite, i have no idea how authors do it!!!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i think it can work, but if it's in a language i understand i find myself focused on if the grammar is correct and such. russian usually... has not been (stevebucky fandom i'm looking at u)...

First fandom you wrote in?

harry potter ages and ages ago was my first fandom, but i don't recall if i ever had any actual proper finished fics that i posted anywhere, until sandman fandom. i wouldn't say i considered myself a "proper" fic writer until dreamling actually

Favourite fic you've written?

hard to say - i like them all for different reasons but i'm proud of the opposite of blindness !

tagging whoever wants to do it as i'm sure most of my mutuals have already done this! <3

[mostlymaudlin]

i remember you saying you were working on a neil slut au, is that still a wip? sorry if im remembering incorrectly and this is the most random ask in the world lol

AHHHH YES! on the list, that's Trigger! it has a real title now :D and i am indeed actively working on it -- there is currently over 25k written.

im so excited to start sharing this one. im hesitant to start posting because it means im Locked In to the version that exists rn. but i also love attention, and i think this could be the kind of fic that is really fun to read as chapters come out (if ur a wip kind of person) -- so one day soon ill probably drop ch 1 out of nowhere lol.

anyway, the fic itself is, yes, neil's slut era <3 he's "trying sex" because he's never done it before and he's kind of on this quest to just try everything he couldn't do during his life on the run. (his backstory is similar-ish to canon). luckily for him, the first person he hooks up with is andrew, and andrew has all these rules and is also incredibly patient (even tho hes also an asshole) and like obviously their chemistry and they way they respect each other makes it really good. so they end up in kind of a fwb situation. and there's a little bit of other stuff going on but its mostly just a lot of smut and a lot of aftercare snuggling that they are both maybe more into than the sex itself.

as you can imagine... the longer this goes on, the more room there is for Emotional Conflict. but that's all i'll say for now.

i think this AU is so fun!! and it's also kind of my take as an aspec person on, like, being aspec and still liking sex. because even in his Slut Era, neil's horniness is not rly motivated by an actual sex drive, but rather the enjoyment and comfort he gets from allowing himself to be close to andrew/being allowed behind some of andrew's walls. and i think this is some of the best smut ive ever written hehe. (@starwarned can confirm or deny...)

[iero]

Not the anon who first asked for st fic rec’s but I’d love some steddie ones if you’ve got any faves!

Yes I do! I can rec some under the cut! There's a little summary and some commentary by me with each of them as well to help !

the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it's you - Fic set in 2002 where Steve is a guidance counselor, Eddie is a rockstar and they both witness a wedding, a death and a birth. (Hands down, my favorite Steddie fic. It takes you on a range of emotions and it's wonderfully written. Heads up though: This one can get real SAD.)

Flight Risk - Eddie is a famous, troubled rockstar and Steve is his bodyguard hired to keep him under control (This one is technically a WIP still with one chapter left to go but it's good. I love how Ayes wrote both of them in this one. Worth the read.)

Soda Burn - Eddie and Steve are both bartenders working in the same bar and well, you know what happens... (Kind of enemies to lovers which everyone seems to love that trope, so... Also, love how Eddie was written in this one. He's a charmer.)

Of Kings and Cult-Leaders - Dustin convinces Steve to host Eddie's DND campaign (This one is literally just cute and sweet. I couldn't stop smiling. Read it.)

sub-culture - Steve is oblivious and thinks that Eddie now hates him and you know what happens... (This one is so good. It's like a queer history lesson and a fic in one. Also, this writer wrote the 80's era so well too. I loved it.)

smoke signal - Steve is a farmer, Eddie is an outlaw who always finds his way back to Steve (We love the longing and the passing of time [in this context]... I'll leave this one at that.)

Thunderstruck - Steve is a college football player who has a crush on his dorky classmate Eddie (I saw the word 'football' in the description of this one and immediately clicked the link like the stupid joth I am... It has pining and it's friends to FWB to lovers kind of... I enjoyed it.)

tell me that it's not my fault (tell me that i'm all you want) - Eddie almost dies and Steve leaves him a voicemail saying how he feels thinking he died (This one is just sweet and feels like it could have been canon compliant if the Duffer Brothers weren't cowards, but that might just be me...)

put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature - Steve is a preacher's son and Eddie tests his faith (Like, the author said: Religious angst. That is all. If you read the infamous UHV, you MIGHT like this one, but I don't know...)

what a match, i'm half-doomed and you're semi-sweet - It has milkshakes. it has weed. It has two idiots and Robin. (Would be lying if I said that the FOB lyric title didn't draw me into this one and I'm glad it did. This one is also cute.)

my way, your way (anything goes) - Set in 1988, Eddie runs away from Hawkins and is a rockstar now and Steve sees him and feelings happen. (We love reunions and pining in this house. Also, this one has flashbacks from the past to the present, so it gets a little confusing, but you catch on pretty quick I think.)

Keep It for Me - Set mostly in 1993, Steve attends a wedding and an unexpected guest that no one has seen in years crashes it (I literally saw '93 and was like, "That's the year I was born!" and clicked on it, no joke LMAO. There's pining. There's tenderness. It's sweet.)

There are some of my favorites! Thanks for asking! :)

[writtenbyevie]

HELLO EVIE TWO THINGS

1) fully outlined Kuroken fic???? SIGN ME UP. Do you wanna share any fun facts or anything at all about it? (no pressure at all, I am very nosy as per usual)

2) YES to the fic book club

Big love you, I’m booping your nose!!

HI JULES!!!! 💖✨💖

Oh my god yes please let's start this fic club. Anyone who wants to join please do!!! We can read hq fics and just wax poetic!!!!!

Now.

Kuroken

SO story time. earth and moon was supposed to be a brief and writing exercise (originally 5k, then 10-15k, then well...), as I worked on restructuring the plot for my Iwaoi College AU fic called The Twelve Year Fall.

What ended up happening was my little exercise devolved into a 73k monster with a Sakuatsu spin-off/sequel on the way.

The Twelve Year Fall (TYF), like the title insinuates, spanned twelve years, from when Iwaizumi and Oikawa first met to well into college. Alternating back and forth between both of their perspectives, it dealt with divorce, death, coming outs, relationships, identities, injuries, etc. It also heavily featured Kuroken, Bokuaka, and Daisuga with cameos from all other characters as well. (The restructure involved me actually removing Daisuga from the plot and giving their narrative function to Bokuaka, since it was getting too cluttered with characters)

All the above mentioned side pairings had distinct arcs of their own within TYF that either paralleled or served as a foil to Iwaoi. I ended up coming with individual fic ideas for each of them and outlining them all pretty extensively. I then put the timelines for all those fics next to each other and found moments where there'd be cross over between these future stories and the current Iwaoi fic I was writing. I then incorporated those moments into TYF.

I actually did something similar for earth and moon with Sakuatsu's story (which has a title but I just don't love it so it's under revision) and Arankita's. I charted out the major milestones in each of their relationships, general timelines, themes, and motifs that would then show up in the background of earth and moon, thus creating my own little universe I guess?

ANYWHO KUROKEN!

The Kuroken fic is titled DEATH TO ALL COWARDS. Narrated by Kenma, the story focuses on a promise Kuroo and Kenma make to each other as children (what can I say I'm a slut for coming-of-age, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn stories) and how it impacts their relationship over the years. The promise being that Kenma gets to die before Kuroo. It pulls from fairytales and videogame lore as the main theme, with Kenma slowly learning how to become the hero of his own story. I want to spoil the ending, but I hope one day to write this so I must bite my tongue. Let's just say the ending is very dramatic, but Kenma gets his moment

The Bokuaka fic is titled The Love Affair Between Icarus and Moon (TLABIAM). Narrated by Akaashi, the story follows Akaashi's life and his secret relationship with Bokuto. The major motifs/references in this piece were Greek mythology, astronomy (which works its way into almost all of my writing anyway), and the flower language. I'm actually planning of giving this story a bit of a backdoor pilot in Sakuatsu's story, as TLABIAM focused heavily on grief, with Akaashi losing his older brother at a young age. This was a big part of TYF, since one of Iwaoi's parents coping with cancer is a major, major plot point. It's also a big part of the Sakuatsu's story I'm writing.

(gee evie we're noticing a pattern)

The Daisuga fic was called Betwixt the Willows, Yarrow Still Blooms. It was going to involve the flower language, as well as another secret relationship concept that I scraped and gave to Bokuaka, who were originally a FWB situation.

ANYWHOOOOOOOOO!

I just massively rambled, but yes I have multiple fics outlined--a whole little universe actually--that I have not written but hope to one day!!

[ugh-yoongi]

Hey! Can I ask which fic you're working on currently? Looking forward to new updates/new fics 😁 I love your writing

hi, ofc you can! thank you :)

i still have a handful of milestone requests in my inbox that i'm slowly working my way through. i haven't started on any of them but i have been thinking some thoughts.

i'll put my actual wips under a cut because there are a lot of them and i can't ever shut the fuck up about anything.

fics i've actively started writing and not just plotted:

winterbreak jk (most likely will be titled revisit the marks on my skin) — based off muna's about u album, "winterbreak" and "everything" in particular. exes to fwb to strangers. college/grad school au. reader & jk's hookups during her winter breaks from school over the span of four years. i currently have ~4k written of this and bee and jess yelled at me when they did the initial vibe check:

jimin hitman/assassin au (the very last thing i decide) — has been sitting in my wips for literal years. almost two years :') jimin and reader are both hitmen and start sleeping together and it's a lil painful. yoongi is deranged. have been hesitant to finish and post because it's darker than what i usually write and i'm a baby, i guess. i'll probably finish this soon. currently sitting at 9k.

the retreat — best friends to lovers hobi with a dash of fake dating. hobi is an overworked millionaire so namjoon sends him on a wellness retreat in the rainforest but surprise! it's a couple's retreat run by jin who is very suspicious. also has been rotting in my wips for years. my goal is to finish and post this as a birthday gift to jess but i am once again a baby because there are a lot of food mentions in it and i know that's a sensitive thing for some folks so i have been internally debating writing those parts and it seems so daunting i've just gotten task paralysis over it. currently sitting at 15k so i need to finish it.

fics i've plotted and hoped would write themselves:

hockey hobi (swipe left wing) — for this collab. strangers to fwb to lovers. college/ice hockey au. no angst, just vibes. hobi is a huge stoner himbo and we love that for him. <3 i do not think this will be done and posted by june. <3 also yes i know swiping left on tinder is the "i do not like this person" option but i could not, in good conscience, put right wing in the title. <3

the beerbongs & bentleys yoongi mini series (untitled) — based off this post. basically spoiled the plot with the song order but fuckboy musician yoongi having a tumultuous/toxic relationship w reader after finding fame. chaos and drama and heartbreak ensues. reader finally leaves his ass for good and then he's just rich & sad.

happy to answer any questions about any of these. <3

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Yes I'm a 97' liner! My venus is in taurus and I have a cancer rising, hopefully that will be more helpful to you!

1) I was 19-20 or 21 with that forbidden romance trope fwb. And around the age of 21-22 we met to hook up once again, cause we had a no contact.

2) I was lucky imo with my fwb. Though my advice would be don't be rushed to do it, make sure you have a good connection with the person and if you feel like you can trust them with that experience go for it! Personally I felt rushed and if I had different circumstances in my life I don't know if my fwb would had been my first 💭 But I'm glad it was him in the end.

3) The choke-hold guy happened a year ago and I just blocked him after the convo with my guy friend. Thankfully he didn't go psycho, cause I don't know if I could be able to handle another psycho. I had enough trauma build up by having a possessive manipulative emotionally abussive narcissist 😂

4)We definitely had a loooot of people giving us weird looks 🤡

5) honestly that wasn't the only shitty move of his at the very beginning 🤡

6) It's complicated honestly. Like we had our fwb situationship, he then could not get over some things I did cause he found them super romantic (he was mostly hooked on a spiderman style kiss I surprised him with) and we thought let's get to see if we can have something more serious. We made out at a new year's party after everyone was pestering us to date and then we were like yeah there wasn't a special spark, that extra something. And well we met again after a long break and he did that and asked me to do more fun outing together so I don't know but honestly if he's so indecisive I won't waste any time 🤷🏻‍♀️

But honestly I think if I find someone attractive or if I am genuinely crushing on them I act differently. If I have a big fat crush I get so awkward and shy but in both cases I always am annoying towards them lmfao I like teasing but lightheartedly like tickling, or poking, etc.

But my tip would be go bold. I had so many opportunities by being bold, it got me phone numbers by directly telling the guy hey you seem like my type wanna exchange phone numbers to get to know each other?

Also the hashtagssss I have a kdrama series for you but it left me HEARTBROKEN like crying for three months straight... it was the good person but wrong time. Maybe I can share that story after the fwb. Also feel free to use anything for fic inspo!

- 🐇

Ohh, I see. You got that siren energy with that venus/rising duo.

You probably don't see it but you probably find it to be quite effortless in attracting the other sex.

Aww, I love the right person, wrong time trope. I just love angst, I eat it up like it's my favourite meal.

Like just pull my heart out of my chest and I will love you forever.

What's the kdrama series?? I need to get back into watching them again.

I mean, it's a spiderman style kiss, why wouldn't you be hooked? I have yet to experience it but maybe I will.

It's been three years since I made out with anyone so I hope my lips still work and I have slight game.

I get awkward too but instead of being shy, I just get over eager and end up calling them 'bro' and 'dude' and being overly affectionate. Idk how ppl can just act chill around their crushes mate, like don't your insides squirm?

Honestly, I have been bold before but I've experienced so much rejection, my boldness is dwindling. The last guy I was bold with plainly stated he wasn't attracted to me in 'that way' and my womb just clenched in embarassment.

So please 🐇 anon, give me all the flirting advice you have.

[huenjin]

domestic disturbance.

summary — there's a murder in the richest neighborhood of seoul and there's no better detectives to find the killer besides you and bang chan. or, in which you and chan have to be a pretend couple to catch a killer.

pairing — bang chan x reader

genre — fluff, crime, smut | detectives!au, fwb!au, fake marriage!au

word count — 21k words.

warnings — mentions of crime, ie, blood, killings, (one line of) gruesome murder scene, language, along with a whodunnit plot, mentions of cheating (not the main leads), and smut | smut specifications under the cut

smut specs. — established fwb!au where they know each other's limits already, dirty talk, praise kink, grinding, marking and hickeys, choking/asphyxiation, nipple play, breast play, sex in multiple places (on the table, against the wall, on the bed), blowjob, face fucking, deepthroating, cunnilingus, clitoral stimulation, cervical stimulation, edging, overstimulation, squirting, multiple orgasms, fingering, creampie, size kink. oh well!

note — this is part of the christmas collab i’m hosting with few other mutuals. i hated this fic and then fell in love madly with it, so yes, this is my baby. there is a plot and so it’s like 50% fluff, 30% crime and 20% smut, okay? i hope you enjoy this fic as much as i loved writing it! much love x

"Did I have to come in today?" 

"Mayor Arsehole came in," you hear from the phone and you quickly hop off your bed, throwing the phone back on to the bed after putting it on speaker and rushing to the washroom to grab your toothbrush.

"What does he want now?"

You squeeze the end of the toothpaste carefully, pushing a good amount of toothpaste onto the bristles of the brush before shoving it into your mouth, brushing against the enamel of your teeth quickly and you rush back to your bed.

Chan, on the other end of the phone, plays with the pen on his table, clicking the piston on the top of the mechanical device. He watches the Mayor move his hands dramatically and the Captain trying to make the Mayor understand.

He gets back to you. Dropping the pen, he sits up straight, "Anyhow, come in quick. My gut tells me that they'll call us in, so make it quick. Wait—"

You rush back to the bathroom in a hurry, spitting into the sink and turning the tap on, quickly cleaning your mouth and your face, following a small skincare routine that fits your busy schedule.

"What?" You say after forever and Chan screams, "I knew it."

"Did you just wake up?"

"Yes," you respond, and pull your clothes up from your body and down by the side of the bed mindlessly. 

"Holy shit," Chan laughs. "It's nine. Han's going to be so mad. He thinks you're in office already." You hear his chair reclining back and you roll your eyes. "Plus," his voice lowers and you stop in your tracks, hand midway to grab your faux leather jacket.

"What now?"

"I didn't even keep you occupied last night," Chan teases. "Imagine if I did."

"I'm hanging up, you bastard," you yell and Chan laughs, his laughter resonating through your small room and making you smile softly. 

"Come quickly, little minx," and he hangs up. You hop back onto your bed, and pulling the pair of thigh high boots you always wear from underneath the wooden framing of the bed, you bury your feet into them and look at your phone.

Bang Christopher Chan is perhaps the only reason you are excited to go to work. That, and lying, murderous bastards.

Down at the station, twenty minutes later (still possibly the best record you've held so far), you rush into the office, heels clinking against the tiles and Chan's waiting for you by his cubicle, smirk prominent on his face and arms folded. 

"The queen's here," he teases and you glare. Huffing as you pause right in front of him, you look over his shoulder to see the Mayor still talking to the Captain.

"I'm not late," you squeal, hitting the air in joy and Chan lets you have your moment before sitting back on his chair and breaking it.

"They called for us twice already," Chan tells you and you shudder at the impending doom. You can already feel Captain Han talking about cutting your paychecks for the month for tardiness. You sit on his table, one leg on the ground and the other dangling, heel slightly grazing Chan's black denims.

"What did you tell them?"

He picks up the pen and stares at you, clicking the pen. You narrow your eyes at him, staring at the pen and mumbling, "Stop that, Chan. I've told you it's annoying."

"I do it to annoy you. That's the whole point," he raises his eyebrows obviously and you click your tongue against him and move closer.

"Now," you press on. "What did you tell Ji?"

"Oh, that you have diarrhoea?"

"What the fuck?" And you bend forward, hitting the built man before you, your fists hammering down on his hard biceps and chest. "Why would you say that?"

Chan raises his hands in defense, trying to block as many of your hits as possible. He whines, laughing amusingly at your reaction. He holds your wrists quickly to halt your actions and tugging at them, pulling you closer, he raises an eyebrow, "What else am I supposed to say? That you didn't come in yet?"

You gulp, eyes widening in surprise at the sudden intimacy that you pull yourself away and sit straight, dangling your legs slightly. You tilt your head and look at him. Clicking your tongue in annoyance, you say, "Valid point you make there, sir."

"When have I not made valid points?" Chan leans back on his chair, arms folded and he looks at you intently, his eyes staring into your soul and you raise your eyebrows. 

"Wh—"

"The two of you," you hear the voice boom through the room. Chan and you turn your heads to look at Captain Han Jisung pop his head through the slightly opened door and calling the two of you. "In my room, now."

"Uh oh," Chan mumbles under his breath as he stands up. "Someone's in trouble."

"It's probably you," you glare at him. Hopping off his table, you stand firmly on your boots, tapping your feet slightly in confidence. Chan walks forward and you take longer strides to keep up with him.

"It could never be me. I'm the district's star detective."

"When hell turns cold, yeah."

You and Chan step into Captain Han Jisung's office. He sits behind the wooden desk and Deputy Mayor Seo Changbin stands next to him. The glass walls behind him show a clear view of the beautiful city of Seoul. You smile as you proceed to sit before the Captain, leg on top of the other. Chan sits next to you.

The pictures from a file are scattered all over his table, facing the two of you and your hand instinctively reaches out to grab one. It's a man's body — gruesome enough with the blood that covers it — impaled brutally on the sharp fence spikes.

Chan's eyebrows shoot up and he coughs in surprise. He looks at Jisung with disdain for a short minute before he says, "That is totally not helping with my holiday spirits, Han."

"Captain Han," Jisung reaffirms as he looks at Chan with a glare and gestures at how he should show him respect at least in front of the Deputy Mayor. You chuckle slightly under your breath before putting the picture back on the table.

"What exactly are we looking at, Captain?"

Jisung clears his throat and bends forward to explain, "That is Kim Jihoon. Or at least whatever is left of him. He was found like this today morning by his neighbour. Apparently he fell three stories from his balcony. Kim Jihoon is a data analyst in Samaun Tech—"

"And more importantly, a model resident in the UN Village community." Changbin is stern and his eyes pierce into both yours and Chan's soul as if it demands the two of you to solve the murder right this minute.

"UN Village?" Chan's eyes narrow and your head turns so quickly to look at him. Does he know of the area? "That's the new gated community down in the city, right?"

Changbin scoffs, smirk plastered on his face as he looks away. "Yes, Detective. It's one of the most luxurious communities in Seoul. I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about it."

"Hey—" You raise your voice to come to Chan's defense. However, the man is quick himself.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I have an idea what it is like. Just a bunch of rich old men sitting with their glasses of wine as they are locked away from the city's woes by their big high walls. I have watched enough Sky Castle."

You laugh, eyes wrinkling in mirth as you hear Chan take offense. You raise your hand up and your partner claps at it, laughing with you. Changbin scoffs again before turning to look at Jisung who clears his throat to stop the two of you from laughing and to bring your attention back.

"I've brought the two of you in here because you will be investigating the death of Jihoon."

"But—"

"It's Christmas in a few days!"

"We're not in office, Ji," you whine. "Felix and Soojin would be taking our shifts for that week. You gave us the permission after the last case. Don't you remember?"

"Is that how much you care about the citizens?" The mayor shoots at the two of you and for a minute, you cower in your seat, before Chan looks at you worriedly as you recoil. 

"Hey, hey, hey," his eyebrows furrow together in anger at the Mayor and you worry if Chan's going to completely lash out. He never did like Changbin in the first place. That and now this and you know this could end bad. "We care enough about the citizens. But look at you. The Mayor comes down personally to hand in a case only when it's some rich community. What? Do you have an apartment there?"

"While you think this highly of me, I can't help but humble myself here," Changbin slams his fist down and Chan rises up. Uh oh! The Mayor edges forward as he continues, "I am very much concerned about the city as well."

"Please," Chan rolls his eyes. Jisung is about to pipe in and stop the conflict when Changbin continues proudly. 

"I'll have you know that the UN Village is one of the most exciting residential areas to live in, in Seoul and is one of the most beneficial developments made in a decade here. If it is successful, I can drive almost millions to the city through estate taxes and commerce. And must I remind you of how that is the biggest point in my political agenda—"

"Your political agenda!" Chan is at his patience's end and your arm stretches out to grip at his shirt, to pull him back from fighting but your partner is so caught up in his anger that he doesn't feel you pull at him. "Must I remind you that you are still the Deputy Mayor!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Jisung slams his hands on the table and you let out an exasperated sigh as you sit up straight. "This is a murder and I won't have the two of you argue over here. Deputy Mayor Seo, if you are done conveying what you came here for, I will have to ask you to leave. I need to talk and assign work to my detectives."

"Absolutely," Changbin smiles widely — almost borderline fake — before walking away and reminding Jisung, "I hope you remember what I asked of you, Captain." He bangs the door shut and Jisung mumbles incoherent words under his breath. Needless to say, it was safe to presume they were words hoping good will for Deputy Mayor Seo Changbin.

"Now the two of you," Jisung points at both Chan and you. He gestures at the built man to sit down. "You will be taking this case up. I will not have a word against it."

"But—"

"Unless you want your sex tape to be released and the two of you want to be suspended for indecent public behaviour."

"What?" Both you and Chan tell at the same time, looking at each other in nothing but sheer confusion and shock at the same time. It was clear that you and him have not made a sex tape or publically — fuck. Unless it is that.

"I mean, I was definitely not interested in seeing my star detectives getting on with each other in the evidence room." Jisung raises his eyebrows.

"Are you blackmailing us, Han?" Chan's tongue prods at his inner cheek in frustration. Today was supposed to be a good day, so he wonders why things are going down the hill.

"I guess." He lifts an eyebrow at you and you click your tongue before leaning forward and taking the picture.

"Fine. I'm in."

"I don't mind getting a copy of the sex tape," Chan mumbles and you hit your partner with your elbow over his nonchalance. You are not going to get suspended. It was too much for your reputation. 

"Good," Jisung smiles. You stare at the picture carefully, looking at how the sharp spikes of the fence pierces into the man's abdomen, pinning him to the fence. Chan is about to take the picture from your hand when you ask,

"This could be an accident."

Chan takes it and looks at it before nodding, "Yeah. You know how rich drunk people are. They might have partied too hard and stumbled and fallen off their balcony."

"I thought that," Jisung mumbles before searching through the pictures. He lifts one off the table and hands it to you. "Until I was informed that this is the second murder UN Village has witnessed in less than a month."

The photo Jisung hands you is of a woman. She lies face down, her stomach pierced through by the sharp spikes of the fence — a bloody contrast to the fresh greens in her yard.

"Why am I celebrating my holidays like this?" Chan groans, as he leans towards you, his arms touching yours. He looks at the pictures and then at you for a short while as he watches you observe the photo carefully. The gears in his head are turning and his emotions are an array of mess but he reminds himself to focus on the case in hand. That is exactly what you would have wanted him to do. 

"She's Yoon Yerin, who lived just up the street from Kim Jihoon. She was found like this two weeks ago." Jisung points out. 

"Can't still label murder, Han. As Y/N said, it could be just an accident. They could be drinking red wine and partying, screwing each other on balconies. Hell, I'm surprised that only two have died so far."

You suppress your amusement and look at Jisung who explains, "I thought the same as well, detectives. The possibility exists—"

"Heh," Chan lifts his lips slightly and nudges you, almost as if he is telling you that the two of you have lesser work to deal with. 

"—but there is also a chance of an exceptional clever murderer behind all this. So please," he turns to look at both you and Chan with an extra intimidating glare, "Look at this case with an open mind."

"You've our word," you smile widely, keeping the photos back in the file. 

"Thank you," the Captain looks comforted. "I cannot hear more from the Mayor, I swear to God. Now, you'll go into UN Village and investigate these deaths as soon as possible."

"And?"

"If there is a murderer, you must identify him as discreetly as possible and if these are just accidents, uhm," Jisung clears his throat, rubbing the back of his head, "We'll just put out a notice in talks of their safety, I guess."

Jisung stretches back in his chair, folding his arms and looking at the two of you proudly, "You guys are the best darn detectives we've got."

"Of course," Chan sneers. "Why else would you take our breaks away using some sex tape as some kind of blackmail? You're a nasty captain."

"He'll be forever salty about this, huh?" Jisung raises an eyebrow at you.

"Nah," you chuckle. "He's secretly overjoyed about being able to work during the holidays."

"As if!"

"We could just go now and investigate—"

"No, you cannot." Jisung sighs. "This is where I'm kind of helpless. The Deputy Mayor specifically mentioned how we are not allowed to poke around, cause chaos and make a scene."

"What? Why?" Chan slightly shifts in his chair, in agitation.

"It'll draw the media in like vultures."

"So?" You furrow your eyebrows. Why does this smell rotten?

"So, the two of you will go in under cover." Jisung smiles. "I doubt it would be an issue for the two of you." 

"Undercover? Undercover as what?"

Twenty fours hours later, you are here. 

A large group of suburbanites are gathered on a perfectly sculpted front lawn. They stand around the stainless steel barbeque rack and are talking. You gaze further, your back pressed against the big lorry that carries furniture to furnish the new house. 

"I can't believe we're doing this," Chan sighs. He helps the man take out the sofas from the lorry. His biceps bulge and you smile, eyes lingering for a minute on the vein that is prominent over it. 

"Please," you laugh, head thrown back. "When I said I wanted to get married, you were there in the list, yes," you tilt your head and snigger. "But you were definitely not my first candidate."

"Lies," Chan teases. "I was your only other candidate, work being the first."

"Don't make me throw this chair at you."

Chan laughs, taking the chair from your hand and walking back in to settle it down onto the floor. Your head shifts back to look at your new neighbours, two of them waving at you and making their way to you. Chan comes out of the house right then, watching the two walk towards you.

Chan bends down to the side to whisper to you, "Do we have to go speak to them? I—"

"Of course. We can't be rude to them."

Chan holds onto your arm, whining like a little child, "But why? I hate rich people."

"Because I'm your wife now," you scrunch your nose at the title. "Listen to me and go with the flow. Just remember that you're Bang Chan, leading specialist in maxillofacial surgeries, hoping to start over in this area of the city—"

"And you're my beautiful wife, my other half, Y/N," he lifts your hand after entangling them with his, your silver ring bright on display and he takes a step forward.

"Now let's go, honey!"

The other couple walks towards the two of you simultaneously, stopping midway upon reaching you. You tilt your head, shifting your gaze to a softer look as you look at the couple, before clutching onto Chan's hand a little tighter.

"Hi, I'm Y/N and this is my husband, Chan. We just moved right next door."

The tall man with a hair messy on top of his head smiles, although it seems very superficial. Yet again, Chan did mention how rich people could never smile sincerely. He tells you, stressing every alternate syllable, "It's so nice to have you here, Y/N, Chan. We are so glad you could shift right before our Annual Holiday Barbeque."

He stretches his arms out towards Chan. Your partner heaves a huge sigh in silently before holding his hand and giving it a firm shake. The other man continues, "I'm Park Rowoon, the president of the local homeowners' association and this beauty here is my wife, Jieun."

Jieun's face contorts into a huge, gleaming and completely insincere grin. She holds onto her husband's bicep, fingers digging into the flesh, "Well, isn't he a dear?" She laughs high pitched. "It's so nice to meet you." She rushes forward to hug you, her arms wrapping around your frame and giggling into your frame. You hug her back, albeit awkwardly, laughing slightly at the gesture.

On the other hand, Rowoon extends his arms out to take Chan's hand in for a shake. The hand holds his, and squeezes it hard enough to hurt as he raises an eyebrow at him. Chan jolts in surprise, trying to squeeze back as he grits his teeth.

You pull back from Jieun and notice the two males holding each other's hands so tightly that it has turned pale. Chan does not seem to back out and rather squeezes back further every single time Rowoon's grip on his tightens. That is, until the older male pulls his hand back and looks at Chan, after shaking his hand a little bit, flexing it.

"You okay, baby?" Jieun rushes to her husband's side, and wrapping her arms around his, she just out her lower lips and looks at him with a dazed and madly-in-love look, "Are you hurt?"

"Nah," he pulls at the dead skin of his lips. "Just the old carpal tunnel acting up. Age, right?" He laughs, locking a fixed gaze at Chan and you quickly rush to his side, locking your arms with his as you laugh.

"Definitely. Don't worry about it. You still look as young and charming as ever."

Rowoon laughs before asking you, "So you're shifting right next door, huh?"

"Yes!" You lift up your lips a lot more than when you usually smile. "Did you see our moving truck? It was quite immediate but I'm glad. This society is so good and just right enough to start a family together." Chan's eyes widen and he looks down at you, nostrils flaring in surprise as he chokes on air. You stand on your toes, kiss his cheek before settling down and smiling at the couple before you. "I desperately want to."

Family? With you? Fuck. 

"Y-yes," Chan's breath hitches and he gets the word out. He'd be down to start a family with you but how could he even suggest a relationship when you just look at him like a friend? A friend who you can come to when you're needy and sexually frustrated.

"My husband's very observant. He saw your truck the other day itself!" Jieun exclaims proudly.

Chan's eyebrows shoot up as he stares at the man. He doesn't already like him and one more wrong step and he is ready to pin some crime down on him. Rowoon is flattered by his wife's comment.

"I do like to keep a close eye on the neighborhood. After all, vigilance is the first step in ensuring a beautiful and safe community. Talking about which, I couldbt help but notice that you have a bird feeder." 

Rowoon stares hard at the wooden bird feeder behind the two of you. Chan and you turn to look at and he laughs. You look proudly at it. A heirloom – almost – of yours, Chan (and Jisung) agrees to let you bring it with you. (They agreed to it when you explained how your neighbors hated you and they would harm it the minute you left sight of it for a long time.) You look at Rowoon with eyes so bright as you begin to explain. Your partner, on the other hand, arms still locked with yours, looks at you with stars beneath his eyes and you are responsible for them. It's admiration. Sheer, peak admiration.

"It's an antique, you know. My grandfather carved it himself out of—"

"Yeah, great, that's lovely." Rowoon cuts you off and the smile disappears off your face, your eyes losing their shine. Chan clutches his fists in anger, head shooting back to face the stupid old man for making his wife mad — his partner sad. The old man continues, "The thing is wooden bird feeders are against the UN Village Homeowners' Charter."

"They are?" You look back at the wooden bird feeder. You bite on the lower lip to hide your disappointment, eyes squeezing shut to hold yourself alright. 

"I'm afraid so." You turn your head back to look at him. Chan quickly unlinks his arms from yours and you look at him, worriedly. Was he going to start a fight? Please, God, no. You glance in worry till he interlocks his fingers with yours as he holds your hand tightly. The warmth seeps through you and your lips pucker unknowingly at how comforted you feel. 

Rowoon continues explaining, "They tend to give off a country farmhouse vibes and aesthetic which is not exactly what we are going for."

"I'm sor—"

Chan clicks his tongue, preventing you from apologising. He pulls you towards him, a little bit closer than the two of you already were. Your partner glares at the man before huffing out loudly and saying, "You run a pretty tight community here, Rowoon, don't you think? Respect the rules or you're out." Rowoon stiffens upon hearing the words before Chan laughs, stretching his other arm out to pat his shoulder. "I'm kidding. Just kidding."

Jieun steps in right then to smoothen out the tension as she claps her hands together, laughing, "Aren't the two of you the cutest? Are you newly weds or?"

"Yes. I mean, it's been a year, but being married to her feels like falling in love all over again for every single day of my life." Chan locks his eyes with you and you gulp. The words hit deep, so deep that you know you shouldn't be fluttered, or flustered. This is Chan. He couldn't be serious.

"Ah, so cute," she squeals. Rowoon looks at his wife with a raised eyebrow before looking at the two of you again.

"Listen. I've to go check on the grill and grab something to eat. You should swing by later tonight and meet the rest of the members of the society. I'm sure they'll love you."

"Of course. We do want to finish a bit of the moving in and stuff today and maybe put up the Christmas decorations soon, but we'll be there. Guaranteed." Chan tugs at your hands to pull you back. You nodded and waved at Jieun. 

"Bye!"

Chan quickly rushes you back into the house before finally letting out a huge sigh. He runs a hand through his hair before letting his back hit the door. You look at him and giggle lightly into your hand. 

"Don't laugh," he glares. "I swear to God, if I have to spent more time talking to Rowoon—"

"You're doing so well, idiot," you laugh, throwing your head back. "We just need to dig in a little bit, talk a lot and confirm that these were accidents."

"Y/N, baby," You breathe slowly upon hearing the term. A sure endearment that Chan has always used but for to hear it roll out of his mouth in places this homely felt different, made you feel different. "If I have to spend more time with Rowoon, I will come up with another theory and it would probably be a suicidal one."

"Don't screw this up, yah!" You hit the back of his head. "The last thing I want is a suspension just because I was caught fucking you in the evidence room."

"Like you didn't enjoy it," Chan leans forward, nose brushing against yours almost. You can feel his breath fanning against your face and the temperature rising. Your hands are firm on his chest before you push him back, fanning yourself with your hand. You tie your hair up into a ponytail before pointing at the boxes by the side of the door.

"Get to work, husband. We don't have time to waste."

"The pepper next to the salt, Chan. Why would you put turmeric there?"

"You'd be one whiny arse motherfucker for a wife," he groans and angrily shuffles the bottles in their right order. "Why are we even arranging all this? Let's just wrap this up in like two days and go celebrate Christmas back at the station."

"I'm not going to take risks. It's Christmas. I celebrate every single Christmas," You mumble. "At least the bare minimum. And if this Christmas has me celebrating it with you, I will. I will give you the best Christmas ever."

"I don't celebrate Christmas, Y/N."

You place the cutlery in the shelves. You leave the kitchen after finishing every single arrangement of the same. Chan follows you into the main living room. You stop in your tracks when you hear Chan say the words and you turn, eyes shooting up.

"Why?"

"Mum left dad in winter. Didn't feel right to celebrate Christmas when she was at home. It's a bitter memory for her, you know?" You nod, eyes looking at him with understanding rather. He sits down, lifting his legs up and stretching it over the table. Your eyes widen and you narrow at his legs.

"Feet. Off. The. Table." You glare. 

"Why?"

"Because it's disgusting." You groan. You sit down by his side once he puts his feet off the table, huffing at you. He turns to look at you and you respond finally.

"Do you, maybe, want to celebrate Christmas with me this year?"

Chan's a romanticist (though he wouldn't ever admit it). He believes in how destiny is meant to unite two people like one magnet for another, one jigsaw piece matching just another. He also believes that you are something special to him because his mind worries over you, his heart gravitates to you in a crowded room. 

Felix told him that it's probably just sheer concern for his longest partner ever. That your heart tends to feel weird stuff for people that protect you, for people that take bullets for you. 

But today, right now, when you tilt your head to the side, resting it on your arm as you wrinkle your eyes in mirth and ask him, his heart skips a beat. Maybe two. He is lost in his thoughts, emotions on an overload and he wonders if you would ever see him in a different light.

"Chan?"

He snaps out of it. He laughs, almost at himself, as he runs his hand through this hair. "Do I have an option? Han made sure our Christmas would be stuck here."

"I'm the best option you have, dude. That, or it was you and your can of beer and your football marathon."

"Maybe."

You still, your head lifting up to look at him. Chan looks at you like he has so much to say to you, so much stuff that conflicts within him but words he would never say out loud. You wish he could. Your head turns to the small Christmas tree inside the house — bare, empty and green. The one extra along with the big one outside every house in the UN Village.

"We could start by decorating that. Yeah."

You hop off the sofa and rush to take the decorative goods from the suitcase. All on command from Captain Han Jisung, courtesy of the very same man who bought so many of the decorations. Chan turns his body, arms folded on the head of the sofa as he watches you scramble in search of something. 

You take the decorative items out from the suitcase, putting it by the side as you search for something. Chan walks towards you, squatting as he watches you look before he holds your wrist and halts your actions.

"What are you searching for? I could help you."

"It's this bluetooth speaker I thought I brought," you shake Chan's grip away before undoing the zip on the other side of the suitcase. "I really thought I brought it. Shit."

"Hey, hey," Chan sits on the floor as he watches you. "It's alright. You can put whatever you want to put on the speaker. It'll be loud enough for the two of us."

You turn to look at him, before falling back on your ass and sitting. You fold your arms around your knees close to your chest and you smile, "You don't mind me blasting Christmas Carols during tree decoration time, right?"

Chan laughs at your innocence. Something so soft, so pure about it, about how you loved Christmas so much. He wants to hold you close — oh so close — the need almost overcomes him but he holds back. 

"I don't mind."

"Yay," you squeal, getting back on your feet and rushing to your phone on the table. "I have this collection of Christmas Carols that we primarily put every year–" Chan watches you scroll through your music library to find the collection and he knows you have when your whole face lights up like the goddamn star on this awfully green tree. "Tada, it starts with my favorite carol, Deck The Halls."

Chan's never understood the hype around carols but for you, he will try today. You increase the volume to the highest, and place the phone back on the table before rushing back to Chan and the suitcase. Your partner takes the fairy lights in his hand and lifting it up, he looks at you quizzically.

"How do you go about this?"

"There's no right or wrong way, Channie. Trust me. We are all swinging it and hoping that it turns out right," you reassure. You take the fairy lights from his hold and stand up. "I can show you what my family does." You walk to the tree, about a good amount of inches taller than you still.

The carol plays in the background like some beautiful serenade wrapping around the two of you. Chan stands a step behind you watching you carefully wrap the fairy lights right around the inside bark of the tree and plug it in to the extension box by the side. The white lights flickered bright and shine on your face that is close to the tree. 

Chan stares. He can't pull away. You hold his breath, captivate his gaze and have him completely enthralled. Your eyes sparkle — hell, you sparkle more than those stupid fairy lights. 

He is so charmed by you that he doesn't realise how you've been trying to catch his attention for a while.

"Chan?" And then you hit his arm, the whole police academy teaching style. "Focus, will you?"

"Fine," and he takes one of the christmas ornaments, hanging them up on one of the spikes. "Is this how it is?"

"You're doing so well, don't worry."

And with the carols in the background, the two of you slowly put the ornaments up, laughing occasionally at Chan wearing the ornaments by hanging them on his ears instead. Another set of fairy lights are draped perfectly over the tree. The stockings are hung by the side and everything is exactly as you remember Christmas decorations to be inside and you realise it's not much different from the Christmases you usually have.

The tree is there. The lights are there. The desserts will be coming. The memories are still made and your loved one is still here. Nothing is different.

"Help me hang the star up," you look at Chan. He tilts his head to the side and his eyes fix on the battery operated star in your hand.

"Did Jisung really give us all that?"

You nod, "Yeah. He told us to sell the story well. Apparently movies lie and that rich people are not all that dumb."

"You sure?" Chan sniggers. "That dude we met there seemed pretty dumb if he wouldn't even let you keep your bird feeder over some stupid aesthetics."

"Don't remind me," you groan. "Now, come here and hold me up." You stretch your arms slightly and Chan's trying his best not to giggle at how cute you looked in the minute. 

His hand is warm against your sweater, heat seeping through as he lifts you up, grip strong on your waist. Your legs intuitively wrap around his torso to protect yourself and you stretch your arms out. You try placing the star above and Chan edges closer to the tree when he knows he's a bit far off. You finally place it successfully above and switch it on. It lights up pretty and your heart warms up at the joy of completing the tree decorations.

And then, Chan suddenly jolts you up in his hold. You fall forward, arms wrapping around his neck and face brough so close to his that you can see the sparkle underneath his eyes that glisten for you. You stiffen in his hold as he wraps his arms around you tighter and in the very next minute, Chan's lips have found yours.

It's soft and gentle as it moves against yours, taking your lower lip within seconds. In that kiss was the sweetness of passion and the reconfirmation of million memories spent together. It moves so gently against his plump ones that you know you're drowning in everything Bang Chan is and that it's creeping — he is creeping slowly into your veins and contaminating your being to a point where it would hurt to live without him.

Chan holds you tightly against him, holding your entire weight in his arms like you are his whole world. His hands squeeze your waist as if he is reminding himself that you are still here with him, sharing this holiday with him. And when Chan pulls back, you realise.

In his kiss, you are home.

"Why did you—" You barely manage to piece words together with the help of your clouded brain. "Uhm, why did you kiss me?"

Chan blushes. The apples of his cheeks heat up at the sudden question and it surprises him how he could still blush at you after all this while. He looks behind you, trying to stall away some time from answering until his eyes land on the creeping mistletoe with white buds around.

"Mistletoe!"

"What?"

"Behind you," Chan points, holding you up with one arm wrapped around your waist. "There!" You turn to look behind, one arm still around his neck while the other is by your side. 

"Oh, it's a mistletoe." You blush and look down at how Chan holds you up. "You could put me down now, Chan."

"Oh yeah." And he slowly lowers you down onto the ground. His cheeks are still stained slightly before he rubs his fingers, fidgeting with it and finally exclaiming, "Ah look at the time. We've got to get ready for taht barbecue shit they are hosting." He turns you around and pushes you to the room the two of you are sharing. "Hurry!"

You laugh, head still dazed over the kiss. It goes back and repeats it over and over again till you feel the temperature in you shoot up and has you wanting emotionally so much more.

After all, this was the first time Chan has kissed you like that and it did not end with sex.

The smell hits your nose before anything else. The smell of fresh beef being roasted and the toxic smell of rich people partying. Although you cannot quite exactly explain how rich people smell if someone asked you. They just smell. . . rich.

Dammit. Now you'll associate this fine rich smell of first class beef with stupid rich people. 

"At least it's good meat." You mumble.

"That's what she said," Chan laughs at his own joke. You open your mouth in disbelief, nudging him with your elbow. Across the lawn, by the pool side of Jieun's lawn, you see her and a couple of other ladies waving at you to come towards them.

"I'll have to go over there. Anyhow, get as much as information as you can, alright?" You turn to look at Chan before walking backwards. "I'll come over soon once it gets too nauseating for me, please."

"Sure," he waves at you and you turn around and walk as elegantly as possible to the posh ladies sitting there. Chan, on the other hand, decides to head to the group around Rowoon that almost look like a bunch of Mayor Arseholes to him.

You walk towards Jieun who is sitting a hot tub. The hot tub bubbles and you raise an eyebrow at the amount of wealth this family has amassed over the years. A table full of snacks rests under a nice canopy and a very intoxicated lady sways from the left to the right by the side of it. 

"Sookyung-ah," Jieun waves at the inebriated female, "Meet the newest member of our little neighbourhood, Y/N."

Sookyung is loud. So loud that you wonder maybe Chan is right about rich people — that they drink, merry and party all day long. She waves her hands, eyes blinking a little too much as she welcomes you, "Nice to meet you! Have a drink!"

She shoves a big glass of brownish looking liquor that reeks of rum. You take a sip of it courteously. The liquid flows down your throat, the burning feeling distinct on your throat. Your eyes wrinkle in surprise, "That's strong, whoa."

"Of course, darling, it is," she smiles widely and it should have repulsed you. However, it is the only genuine smile you have found in this whole neighborhood so far. Sookyung continues, "How else are we supposed to get through the day?"

"Is this how it usually goes?" You laugh nervously. "Us girls sneak off to grab a drink while the boys beat the chests out at front?"

"Ooh," Sookyung gushes. "I think I'm going to like you a lot, darling." 

Jieun takes a sip of her orange coloured cocktail as she circles her glass lightly, letting the liquid shake inside. You tilt your head backwards, staring up at the stars only to notice how it is a full moon tonight. A soft smile spreads across your lips as you think of the one person you associate with the moon; your partner.

Jieun leans forward after placing her drink back on the table. She nudges Sookyung and raises an eyebrow at you, "Sookyung-ah, did you see her husband?"

You blush at the term. This will take a while to get used to. "Was he the tall, broad shouldered guy in the suit?" She hums in approval and your eyebrows furrow downward in displeasure. "Talk about a prime cut of meat!"

"I know, right?" Jieun giggles. "I saw him and started to drool."

Your cheeks heat up ridiculously. You can feel your heart beating a lot quicker and it is a weird sense of pride that swells up within you over a man you can't even completely call yours now. You fidget with your fingers, black dress riding up your thigh as you shift in your seat nervously, "I guess Chan is a good looking man."

"Chan? Is that his name?" Sookyung laughs, "That's an understatement of the year. I would wish to strip him down, slather him up with butter and just eat him up." Your face couldn't help but morph into one of disgust at her words. At this point, you are borderline disturbed.

"That's, uhm, very vivid thoughts you have of my husband."

"Ah, dear," Sookyung leans forward and holds your hand, rubbing it in her grip. "We were joking. But you must tell us—"

Jieun breaks her and smiles so wide as she looks at Sookyung, grinning and then at you, "What is he like in the sheets?"

They laugh together and you look at the two of them. So this is what a rich bunch of ladies too. Gossip and talk unfiltered. You had only two options at this point, or maybe three — a) stay quiet and let them do the talking, b) tell them off for talking about Chan this inappropriately, c) talk with them and get more information under the guise of being one amongst them. You swear to the heavens that you would rather do option b, but for the sake of this crime, you decide to do what Captain Han Jisung would have told you to follow.

"He's a fucking tiger," and you laugh the fakest laugh you could ever pull out, albeit not because Chan wasn't good in between the sheets or anything (he was an almighty beast with his technique, yes) but because you never thought you'd live to see the day you'd use words like that, in any situation at all.

"Called it!"

"Tell us everything!"

You take a sip of your drink and cross your legs as you sit up straight, almost feigning arrogance, "I'm not one to kiss and tell but let's just say that Chan makes me very happy about," you grin and pause, trying to catch the ladies' attention on every single word of yours, "Twice a day or so."

"Twice a day?" Sookyung gasps.

"If he's just very much in the mood, I know I'm not going to walk for days together. Not that that is an issue. Chan is the sweetest and takes care of me," you flutter your eyelashes.

Jieun taps at her chest, huffing, "Be still my beating heart. Be still."

Sookyung sighs, stretching back on the reclining chair, "These days, Ilsung and I get it on like once a month or so and that's like for a minute. How disappointing."

"They are newly married, Sookyung," Jieun stilts her head in acknowledgement. "It's been a year of their marriage or so." She takes a bite of the cookie from the plate by the side and you smile as she looks at you.

"It seems like you're all pretty open in this neighborhood," you point out and twirl a strand of your hair that lets loose before your eyes. 

"Oh we share everything," Jieun says and Sookyung scoffs, before picking up a cookie and her strong drink.

"Some more than others." She scowls so visibly that Jieun has to furrow her eyebrows at her and signal something with her gaze before Sookyung looks away to the right. 

The backdoor of the house behind opens and you turn to look at a lanky woman walking in with a tray of cookies. It is the same one that you have on the table already and you look at her. The glow on her face is long gone, her eyes losing the sparkle and you wonder if she is going through something.

Sookyung frowns and mumbles under her breath, albeit a bit too loudly, "Great. This party suddenly took a sip into Depressionville now."

You lean back into Jieun and mumble, "Who's that?" 

Jieun leans into you and is about to whisper when Sookyung runs her mouth free, "That's Somin. An absolute downer."

You bite your lip out of anxiety, surprised by how Sookyung really does run her mouth a bit too much — a lot enough to cancel her off your list of suspects almost. Jieun hisses at the other woman before telling you, "Her husband was Kim Jihoon and he died yesterday so," she clears her throat, "She's quite rattled, to say the least."

"Then shouldn't she be mourning at her husband's house or funeral home for a few days? The fact that she's already here seems so crass." Sookyung shakes her head, disappointed. You gulp and watch the woman, Somin, come closer and Sookyung, folding her arms tighter. 

The minute Somin is in your periphery though, both Jieun and Sookyung smile so brightly and that's when you realise that nothing you see and nothing you hear could be trusted here. It's the world of the rich and everyone wants to come out on top.

"It was so nice of you to come out," Sookyung waves and calls her closer. Jieun nods and you see how she walks slowly towards them, a sad smile on her face and her tray held strongly.  

Somin speaks softly, almost as if she should not, "I probably should have stayed inside." She holds out her tray as she stretches her arms outwards. On the tray are many round cookies with cracked lines on their surfaces, a bit too deep than normal. They look sad. Just as their maker does. 

You wait for the other two women to do something and when they take a piece of cookie, you follow suit and take one. The distinct taste of cinnamon fills your mouth and you hum in approval even if the cookie wasn't the best out there, "Ah, these snickerdoodles taste good!"

"Thanks, but you don't have to flatter me," she looks at you with a face close to no expressions whatsoever, "Whoever you are."

"Somin, this is Y/N. She's new to our neighborhood," Jieun says and Sookyung adds, "And she clearly knows her cookies."

"Thanks," you hesitate. "I do bake from time to time." And taking another piece of the cookie, you tell them excitedly, "Did you know that Snickerdoodle is derived from the term Schneckennudein, which literally means snail noodle?"

The three other ladies stare at you, blinking at what you just said in utter disarray and you sigh. 

"I meant," You take a bite of the cookie, "Great cookie!"

"Yeah, great cookies, but," Jieun starts and Somin looks at her, pressing her lips together.

"But?"

"I said that I would be the one to make the snickerdoodles, but it's alright. We can have twice as many and can give some to our husbands partying over there. No worries."

"Oh, okay, I'll have to go," and she scurries away quickly. She barely shuts the door as she rushes out of the place almost immediately, her hair flailing behind her. You watch the woman, analysing how no one in the party seemed bothered by it. 

Jieun sighs, "She looks bad, doesn't she?"

"If you ask me," Sookyung speaks loudly once again and you already know she's going to run her mouth, "She's better off with Jihoon dead. You should have heard the way the two of them used to fight."

"Were Somin and Jihoon having marital troubles?" You ask.

"Definitely," Sookyung leans forward, "If by marital trouble you mean continuous screaming matches blasting across the entire neighbourhood, why then yes!"

"You're such a gossip, Soo! It was not that bad." 

"Says you!" She stands up and walks towards the bar counter, smiling and turning back to look at both you and Jieun. "More rum?"

"Yes, please!"

"Hey—"

It's the greetings and then a hand that trails far too low on your back. It grazes the curve of your ass and you quickly jolt forward turning only to find a man in his mid thirties in a suit, standing eerily close to you. 

You narrow at him before asking, "I was searching for my husband. Pretty tall, broad shouldered, dark brown hair, slightly curly. Have you seen him?"

"You're Chan's wife? Didn't know he had such a beautiful woman for a wife," the man edges forward and you take a step back, eyebrows furrowed at him and your hand trailing down to keep you ready to grip your gun. Until you remember that you're undercover and hitting this man with a gun would seem suspicious. Your best option was to deck him. The man takes another step forward and you take one backwards till your back hits the buffet table, "I'm Ilsung. Do you maybe want to go somewhere..."

"You have a wife and I have a husband," you spit out. You are mortified. So this is what Sookyung mentioned and the fact her very own husband is involved in illicit affairs — does everyone here have a mistress or is involved in adultery? Is that the rich people norm?

"So? Everyone here has an affair with someone's wife. Do you want to be mine? I can take care of you."

"I can very well take care of my wife, Ilsung. I don't think I'll need your help." 

You hear the one voice you needed to hear in this very moment. You look over the older man's shoulder to find Chan, his hands shoved into the pockets of his formal pants. His top buttons are undone and the vest and suit fits him so well that you are glad you picked this one out for him. You shove the man away and walk to Chan, heels digging into the lawn as you strut confidently.

"I need the madam to say that," Illsung shoots and Chan's at his patience's end. He makes fists of his hands on either side of his and you hold onto his arms to calm him down only to look at the other man and narrowing your eyes, you scoff.

"I don't think I need to go have sex with someone like you when I get it well from him. That, and I guess, him being my husband should take more priority but not in this neighborhood where everyone breathes and lives on sex. So, no, thank you. I feel sad for Sookyung. She deserves someone better than a trash for a husband."

"Why, you bitch!" And he rushes forward with a clenched fist to hit you. Chan stops his blow, however, chuckling to himself. 

"That's weak. Now, why don't you go take care of your wife while I treat mine like a princess? Yeah?"

And Chan walks away with his arms tight on your waist as he holds you close. Ilsung yells behind the two of you, his wife yelling at him to keep quiet. Chan, on the other hand, doesn't speak a word further, just walking you all the way to the house the two of you share, keeping you so close to him and glaring at the others to keep them away.

There are sighs and grunts, furrowed eyebrows and clenched fists as Chan argues with himself in his head all the way to the room the two of you share. He stands by the table, still lost in his thoughts and you almost pick up the book you're reading — one by Natsume Suseki — only to deck him with it, although you decide not to because he already seems ready to snap his control.

"Chan—"

Maybe your voice was the only trigger he needed to snap, to break away from his thoughts and to give them words out loud. 

"You just stood there? Like some dumb doll when he touched you?" Chan glares at you and you frown, folding your arms over your chest and yelling back, "Excuse me, but I'm undercover as some doting wife to some stupid man."

"Did that matter then? Oh my god," he groans, throwing his head back. "I'm so mad and I know you're right. You are right but how dare he touch my wife when I was around. The fucking audacity—"

You hold the edges of the table with the base of your palm, pressing against it as you jump up and sit up on it to face him properly. You cup his face and making sure his eyes are fixed on yours, you smile softly.

"Don't smile right when I'm shit mad at everything, Y/N."

"Should I frown then?" You laugh out and push yourself back slightly to allow Chan to come closer and stand in between your thighs. "Let's think of this as some, uhm," you ponder, still holding Chan's face close to you, "Yes! Let's think of this as an occupational hazard."

"Occupational hazard," he scoffs. "Bullshit. He did that because he thinks women are weak. He's one of those arrogant pompous rich men that think that he can have his way with some good sacks of cash and power and that all women are weak and with that power comes his ability to subjugate them all to the age old tradition of treating them as sex dolls, an object for pleasure."

Chan's red and out of breath when he finally rants it all out and you bite your lower lip from laughing, dropping your hands from his face. Chan's cute. Oh god, he's so fucking cute and you know you shouldn't overstep boundaries but dear lord, if Bang Christopher Chan keeps this up, you will actually get down on your one knee, pop the ring and propose to him.

"Are you done?"

"No," he glares at you and leans forward, "Going to get back to work after this case and find some hell of a corruption case on him to put him behind the bars." 

Your eyes wrinkle into thin crescents as you smile wide. You raise your eyebrows and suggest, "I've a better idea. Why don't you rather fuck me with all hat pent up frustration? It's a win win deal, if you think about it hard enough."

Chan leans forward, lips curving up into a confident grin, "Oh, I will. I intend to do both. Fuck this anger out on you and put him behind bars." 

Chan's hands are big in comparison to your face. He cups your face, angles it and kisses you. His lips fit right into yours almost as if they were meant to be there for a lifetime to come. He kisses you and it's just as magical as always, laced with a touch of ardent need and passion. You needed him, you needed his warmth, his protection and everything he has to offer. His arms snake around your neck to grasp it and pull you in, deeper into him as he moves his lips against yours, softly at first till it turns into something so passionate that it would have your knees buckle, had you been standing. Chan is pressed against you, his white shirt, a size small as he likes it, clinging onto his body tightly (rid of the vest and suit in a moment of anger as soon as he walks into the house you share) and perfectly enough for you to hold his muscles.

You promised to yourself that you wouldn't fall in love, not after the shitshow of a marriage you saw in your parents. You promised that you'd keep your heart to self, that every individual in this world was brought forth as a single entity, so why in heavens did we go searching for others?

Chan makes you understand. 

You understand now that promises are meant to be broken and as you gaze at Chan under his dim lights, his face so temptingly close to you, you are more than ready to break the promise you've made with yourself.

It has been written in the gazes already and as you lean forward, your fingertips tracing his jawline, Chan knows it because he meets you halfway, his hands creeping behind your back by your waist and tugging you closer, your bodies touching and your lips on his, soft and testing waters initially. He pulls you closer, his lips moving against yours, angling your face to delve deeper into you. 

He has his lips against yours, nearly knocking you off all the wind in your lungs. You sigh into the kiss, find your hands in his hair, tugging at the roots and moving against his body, your legs stretching by either side of his body. His hand sprawls over your neck, his thumb caressing against your jugular before pressing into the neck, rubbing slow circles. He kisses the top of your lips, your hands tugging at his shirt. 

In a swift motion, positions have changed and you're sitting on him whilst he props himself up on the table. He lifts you up slightly, pulling back and places you on top of his lap. Your rear falling into the depression between his thighs, rubbing against his groin slowly. He looks at you through hooded eyes, pushing your hair past and opens his mouth to speak before you voice out first.

He looks at you from below, your hair falling on his shoulder as you look at him, his head thrown behind as it rests on the sofa's ridge. And your lips find his again, tugging at his soft lip to let you through, to open up to you completely. 

You moan into the kiss, your back arches and Chan's hand is still firm on it. He kisses your lower lip and your tongue brushes his lips in the impact, groaning at how he won't let you through a second ago and then, he lets you in. It's intimacy on a level you were slowly being prepared for. It's everything you remind yourself that you wouldn't break down into. Chan makes you feel special, with every praise, with every word he swears out to protect you. Chan reminds you of a feeling you had long forgotten.

Chan's lips move from your swollen lips to the curve of your jaw, down to the curved edges of your neck, sucking and kissing every exposed skin. Your head is thrown back at the sensation, your hips gyrating over his growing length.

His hand moves from your shoulders to your arse to your back after he seeks your permission as he pulls you closer and forwards, until your chests are pressed against one another. His mouth is everywhere and good lord, you feel infinite and powerful.

His lips hover on yours. He smirks, the curve of his lips tugging upwards slightly and you think it's cute. You think Chan also makes you feel divine as he whispers into your skin like personalized love notes or small token of appreciation, "Fuck, you're hot. The most beautiful being I've ever seen," and that is all that is needed as you gyrate over your hips a little quicker. He inches his chin forward, flicking your nose a little with his own, a shy smile on his lips as he silently asks the permission to claim your lips anew; all over again. 

And you let him, just like you've already given him permission in your head to ravish you tonight, to take you to hell and back.

Chan cups your face with both his hand, holding you and watching your face shine in the dim gold setting of his room. Your cheeks glistened and your eyes sparkled but his eyes could not stray away from your lips — coral, swollen and so demanding. He pulls your face down, kissing your nose tip and then your philtrum before pressing his lips flat against yours.

His kiss is drawn out in a way that makes you want more, like a divine aphrodisiac. It makes you want to pull him in and suck the living hell out of him and yet it's lovely. It's precious and laid out well planned. His tongue licking your lower lips before entwining with your tongue as he pulls you closer into him, your hips lowering deeper into his covered length, panties sticking to the core from the sensations your body is responding to.

His fingers trail up your black dress, thumb grazing the skin slowly, bringing about goosebumps to the surface before they slowly move enough to rip your dress apart and expose you to him, in all semi-nude. You moan, before kissing him as you hold onto Chan tightly.

He makes your insides twitch and your heart lunge and it fogs up all of your thoughts to the point you feel yourself drowning in the sensation of his lips, pressed tightly on your own. Your fingers get lost in his thick locks as you tug on them, forcing him to pull you down a lot forward and gladly welcome the movement of your tongue.

His lips are as soft as feathers and they feel like what you think heaven feels like. The warmth you experience is so much more than the tingle of first kisses, those innocent butterflies have nothing on the wanting void of a pit in your nether regions and the slick in between your thighs. 

His hands slide down from your hips to reach behind your back and pull you upwards, only to tightly clasp around the curve of your bare bottom cheeks, caressing it over. You sigh contently. His hand trails upwards, touching, feeling you all over and you pull back, breathing rapidly as you look at Chan. The next second you are unbuttoning his first two buttons and prompting him to remove his shirt too. Your legs slide slightly dangling off his sofa before he pulls you towards him, his naked chest warm enough against yours as he pulls you back in to devour you. 

"God, you're heavenly," Kiss. "So fucking heavenly." Kiss. "You're a fucking good girl." Kiss. "So good for me." Chan sucks a huge hickey into your neck — bright, dark and purple but it's how he worships and praises you that makes you want him more, your clothed core grinding on his enlarged bulge that is covered. The friction from the cotton of your panties and the cotton of his jeans slowly stimulates your core and you can't help yourself when your body is moving on its own accord on top of Chan, your hand moving your from falling back.

“Chan,” you groan against his lips after he pulls away from you for a minute. His lips are red and swollen, slick and shining with your saliva and so incredibly inviting you all over again and you fear that you may never want to stop kissing him for as long as you are breathing. 

"Chan!" 

His fingers move downward, grazing your skin by your stomach slowly, his eyes trained on yours as he watches you slowly break down. His fingers tease over your clothed mound. You bite your lip from groaning too loud but Chan's sudden tapping at your covered clit makes you yelp.

"Good girl. That's right. I want to hear your pretty moans," he kisses down on your neck, trailing and plastering wet kisses down your clavicle before sucking at the exposed skin of your breasts. "Moan loud for me, baby." He sucks at the skin by the crook of your neck, under your clavicles, above your breast and at the curves, leaving purple marks almost instantly thanks to your sensitive skin.

You can hear your heart beat quicker, racing against your chest and your thoughts drive you desperate. Pulling his face from your breasts, you kiss him, making the kiss deeper, licking his lip and grazing it with your teeth. You grind down on him trying to edge yourself desperately. You move forward to own every gulp and moan he releases and squirms in pleasure. 

"I want you so much," you choke out. Chan's hand lets loose from your throat slightly and he looks at you with admiration, before gripping at the jugular, and caressing it lovingly, pressing wet kisses against it. You sound desperate, almost like you would lose your sanity if Chan doesn't make you his, this minute. "Please. Chan, please."

His hands trail downwards, thumb rubbing the skin on its way before he slips them under your panties, swiping his finger across your slit, feeling how wet you are. He groans out loud, mumbling, "What a doll. All wet and ready for me to devour. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Baby, wouldn't you?" He presses against your jugular with his other hand, tilting your head and gently choking you. Your eyes rim with tears in joy and you nod, "Yes, please."

His mouth moves over the skin at your breast, kissing it furiously. His tongue lapping at your nipple over your bra, slowly circling over the clothed material as he rubs his finger up and down your slit, occasionally rubbing against your clitoris. You press down and grind on him further, begging for more. Chan removes his hand from your neck and moves it up from your waist to your back and it lingers around the hook of your bra before snapping it open with a flick of his fingers. The bra slides off your shoulder and you throw it away, unbothered by where it lands.

Chan's mouth falls on your breasts, circling big with his tongue before slowly decreasing the radius of his turns and narrowing down on your nipples, sucking at them alternatively. You are moaning, holding at his shoulder and dragging your hips over his bulge in a slow, excruciating pace he has set with the drag of his fingers.

Your throat is dry from all this excessive want and you wet your lips, breathing coming out in hot puffs of air, rapid and shallow. The passion and want blinds you and Chan taps on your clitoris constantly with his thumb, using the other fingers to slowly tease your entrance over the panties but going back to sliding down your opening. You groan frustrated and grind down on his bulge trying to chase the feeling that is growing within you. 

Chan's lips are all over you as you bite into his shoulder occasionally. It hovers over your neck and then your breasts, giving it all the attention as he plays with your nipples as he rubs you at a pace that quickens slowly. Your mind is boggled and you can't get your thoughts clearly.

"Such pretty breasts," he groans into it, his tongue flicking at it from your underside. "Such perky breasts. So beautiful and all mine."

Soon enough with his praises and the way he worships your being, the promise of an orgasm begins to manifest and build within you as a strong tightness within your lower regions, creeping into your abdomen, ever growing with every passing second. Chan's steady rhythm is strong enough to carry it over the edge with the friction you get from all the material and his bulge and as your climax looms closely, your hips rock and gyrate slightly against him. He pinches and flicks your nipples as he helps you ride out the orgasm, your eyes tired and hooded. You kiss him softly on his lips. 

"Will you remove your lingerie for me, pretty girl?"

The order shouldn't have turned you on this much but it does as you hop off his lap, your feet unsteady on the ground as you balance yourself after your first orgasm. Your fingers are on the edge of your panties and you're pulling it down completely in the next second. Chan watches you steadily, his eyes trailing on your figure and you feel attended to.

"Jesus Christ," he stands up, the bulge moving slightly and your mouth dries up as it opens, wanting so much more. He holds you by your waist, petting your hair, mumbling, "I love when you put your hair down. You look like a goddess. A goddess ready to let go of your divinity all for me."

He unbuckles his belt as you slowly touch yourself, your hand moving down your body. He watches you, your thumb and forefinger playing with your nipples, tugging and pinching them till they harden under your grip. He removes his formal pants and his boxers, pulling it down and away at your request. Chan's length and girth has your eyes widening, as always, your tongue licking over your lips and you gape.

It's painfully hard and the tip is red, leaking with precum down his cock. Chan holds you by your waist and lifts you up, your knees wrapping around him and your soaked core on top of his hardened girth, occasionally dragging past it. He kisses your breasts, licking over the nipple and the underside of the breast, grazing his teeth over it as he walks you to what you had thought would be the bed. However, he stops midway, looking at you for a second before your back hits the cold walls of the room in this house as he holds you securely. You see the bed by the side and you smile. You drop your legs and stand on your toes as you kiss him, your tongue running over his buccal cavity.

Chan's hand trails down, circling by your waist before his palm hovers over your mound. His thumb brushes past your clit teasingly and your hand wraps around his neck, kissing him and biting at his lower lip till you feel the metallic copper taste of blood filling your senses.

You moan as he drags a finger up and down your slit, playfully teasing you fold. He rubs circles into your folds, slowly dragging them out into waves and your hand flies upwards and forward to hold on to him for a grip. 

"Chan," you rasp out, and he hums, removing your hand so that he can kneel down, kissing your thigh and biting it slightly as his thumb rubs against your clit and the other swipe against the folds. Your hands grip on his roots, tugging at it mercilessly.

"Baby, do something," you cry. "Please, I need you." Your other hand tugs at his hair, trying to bring him closer in a desperate manner. "I'll be a good girl. Please, do something."

"Should I?" he teases, rubbing small circles around your clit in an excruciatingly slow manner and you think — know — that Chan is going to drive you to insanity and how he'd pull one off his book and blame it on his instincts.

"Please, please, please—"

The intrusion is sudden and you are overwhelmed. You gasp, the air raspy against your throat before falling. Your hand pulls at his hair harshly as he sucks on your clitoris, his breathing fanning over you. Your fingers drag down and dig into his skin, unbothered by the possibility of cutting through it. 

He presses his thumb on your clit after removing his mouth, tapping it slowly, simultaneously and you think you're going delusional. "Chan, oh my fucking heavens."

He kisses your mound repeatedly, telling you, "Look at this sex. Wet and dripping. I'll give you what you want, baby. I'll give you what you want for being a good girl for me."

Chan adds another two fingers instantly and you feel overwhelmingly full, crying out at being widened so pleasurably. The walls stretching out and you catch him mumbling, "So fucking tight and all for me. Look at this brat being a good girl for me."

He curls them up into you and your back arches slightly at the tingles. You feel Chan slipping his fingers easily into you and the slick of your arousal dripping down your thighs, making a mess. He rubs your walls, his attention also on your enlarged button and your hips gyrate with him, thrusting and chasing after his fingers desperately. He finds your spot easily after being this around and pushes at it constantly. Your head hits against the wall hard and he looks upwards at you for a split second, worried, only resuming after you give him a signal that you are alright.

You feel the euphoric rush coming, creeping through from within and trying to embrace you as a whole and when it's very close to burst, Chan pulls his fingers away, licking them clean with a knowing smirk plastered on his face, for a second before thrusting them back in.

Chan pumps his fingers in and out of you as his thumb rubs furious circles into your clit. He bites at your thigh, kissing them soon after, leaving traces of bruises near to your vulva. Hot, purple and sticky. He sucks on the skin deliriously, licking the skin to soften before grazing his teeth to oversensitize you. You feel the build up and you squirm against Chan, your eyes watering. 

"Chan, baby," it's a sob that leaves you. "Please." You were so devastatingly close after your last orgasm, the balls of heels leaving the surface as you try to pull back but Chan pulls you down as he sucks on your clitoris and pumps his fingers in you in a ridiculously breaking pace and when you are so close to breaking apart, Chan drags his fingers away, licking and sucking at them as you look down at him.

"What the fuck?" You swear, frustrated, tears spilling from your eyes.

"Good girls don't swear."

"I'll blow you off well," you try striking a deal with him. He looks up at you amused, strands of hair sticking to your face from the sweat and he still thinks you're the most beautiful woman he has laid his eyes. "I'll give you one hell of a blowjob. Just please." Your voice breaks as you look at Chan, who looks so delectable at the minute with your juices staining the side of his mouth and his lips shining in the light. "You won't regret—"

His mouth is back on your core and you groan, "Ungh!" He mumbles, his warm breath tingling your core as he speaks against it, "Good girls don't strike a deal either, darling."

"But your good girl does," you tease and Chan's mouth is back on your sex, licking and teasing it. He grabs you by the calves, his blunt nails digging into the vast skin.

Without another word, Chan dives right into it, tongue darting out to lick a long, thick stripe from your center to your clit, causing you to shiver. Your left hand finds its way back to his hair after grabbing at his shoulder intermittently. Chan simpers to himself, overwhelmed by how well your body reacts to him and just him, your legs shivering and buckling, about to fall if it weren't for Chan's hands holding you up and pressing you against the wall.

You feel the thickness of his tongue lapping up your seeping wetness, which in turn causes a rush of arousal to leak and drip down your ass. "You're making a mess, baby," he chuckles, the laughter hitting your clit and sending a shiver down your spine. Your fingers instinctively tighten around his hair and you pull him closer to your cunt, his nose nuzzling against your mound. He groans, hands gripping your thighs tightly, locking your legs in place.

Burying himself further, his tongue dips deep inside you, nose nuzzling and rubbing against your clit with every thrust. His eyes are piercing and fixated on the rise and fall of your chest as he looks up at you once in a while, seeing you tug at your lips, eyes closed and hand roaming around for support. He loves seeing you fucked out for him.

"Argh, it's fucking divine," Chan mumbles against your slit and the vibrations have your core clutching onto nothing. "This good cunt all wet and slickened for me, ready for me." You mewl, unable to stop yourself from wriggling within his hold, the grip on his hair tightening.

Your walls grasps around his tongue, pulling him further into you as he laps up every single drop of your arousal, passionate as if it were an aphrodisiac. One of his hands travels upwards to latch itself on your breast, rubbing the underside of your breast, fondling and gripping it hard.

“Chan,” you moaned softly, your voice trembling over the sensations that ride into you, toes curling. He responds to your calling, withdrawing from you slowly, by planting soft and gentle kisses to your inner thighs. 

"You're doing great, love." 

He sucks on your clit furiously and that was everything for you. You feel the same high building up at a pace quicker than you thought was possible. You feel it tightening, your core clutching onto his muscular organ as it tries indulging itself deeper, chasing after something it craves. His nose rubs against your neglected clit. He licks a stripe against it before sucking at it, teeth grazing at it sending tingle down your spine that has you hitting the bumpers with the heel of your feet. You are already sensitive from the last orgasm and all the teasing you had and with all this vigor and undivided attention Chan gives you, you feel it coming as he treats you like you're his only girl.

Your back arches more steeply, your mound hitting him in its influence, head hitting the wall lightly this time and your moans are louder, raspier and quicker. You are screaming out Chan's name as you see the stars under your eyelids. 

He still licks slow stripes, taking in and devouring the rush of juice that squirts out of you. He lets you ride out the high and he lets you leave him breathless as his grip on your thighs do not ease away. Chan does not stop, even when you're a quaking, quivering mess, tears spilling from the corner of your eyes and it's almost bordering overstimulation. You can't think and you can't form proper sentences. He leaves you gasping for air, with something stuck in your throat preventing the passage of air and it's difficult to breathe in this rush and he makes it harder.

He looks at you teasingly and he lifts his hand as you bend forward to his kneeling self. He clutches on your neck, his fingers pressing against the side softly as he continues licking up your orgasm and blocking your air passage. You feel the stimulation rushing and concentrating and it's all too much for you. Tears stain your face and you're crying, "It's too much, Chan. Too much."

And he stops as soon as you say that. He presses soft kisses against your clitoris and he holds your hips tightly as he stands up. You've lost any energy in your legs you have and if it weren't for Chan, you'd crash. 

He holds you by the hips and carries you, dropping you gently against the bed, your hair spreading and you kiss his shoulder. He caresses your face and tells you — it's a whisper almost — "I think I want to get to know you more. I think I—"

You bring his face lower to kiss him, preventing any other word to spill from his mouth that your head tells you to cancel. You are not sure yet. You hold his face down, devouring him as a whole, feeling his length slide your core draggingly and you groan into him.

You don't shy away from prying your hand down, teasing his cock as you rub your hand over the enlarged shaft slowly, teasing his enlarged red head, rubbing your arousal and the afters of your orgasm all over him, slowly stimulating him as you drag your hand down his length and back up again, letting go of his shaft only to cup his balls, trailing your fingertips around it. You let go and look at Chan. 

"Lay back, please," you request and he pecks your nose as he pouts at you. God, he really really wants to call you his. Forever.

Chan lies back on the bed, his head resting between his pillows and yet he pulls his body up, supporting his weight on his arm. You sit up, crawling over to straddle his lap, nervousness setting into your stomach. You gulp and swallow the saliva as you look at Chan, whose gaze gives you comfort and confidence. The muscles in your arm stiffens as you grip his shoulder for stability and Chan's hand falls on your hips naturally, helping you steady yourself.

Your hands rest on his chest, firm and broad and you gaze at Chan's cock for a while, it twitching with every unadulterated thought of his as he watches you on top of him, bare, exposed and unrestrained all for him. Your mouth is parched and your tongue pokes out through the seams of your lips, running across the expanse of your lower lip and wetting it. 

"Fuck," he swears as his eyes move with your tongue, his chest rising and falling under your hold.

You reach forward to take him in your hand — the tip of his head looks so inviting that you couldn't stop yourself. Chan's hands roam up your arms, his thumb caressing the underside of your breasts before they play with them, his thumb and forefinger rubbing your nipple, watching it turn solid in his hold. He grips at your breast, fondling it and massaging it, stimulating you and bringing about a rush of confidence in you.

“You’re fucking large, fuck, fuck,” You yelp, eyes wide and mouth salivating at the heaviness in your grasp. You widen your mouth, stretching your facial muscles and Chan laughs.

When you look at him, his dark eyes are speared to your movements, teeth gritted. At this moment, with you hovering over him, he can't seem to contain how excited he is, his length twitching in your hold. You begin moving your hands up and down his length at the same slow pace he had put through.

You lean forward, Chan's grip on your breasts tightening as he squeezes it. Your whines turn to louder moans of ecstasy. His one hand grabs your hair back, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail until he drops it and touches your face, "Ah, so beautiful. You're so perfect."

Chan watches you and is all too eager, his hand on your face trailing down to your shoulder, gripping on it as he continues caressing one of your breasts. The flat of your wet tongue sticks out to lick around the rim of his hot head. He fights back a groan, choking and sputtering, grip on your shoulder tightening as his blunt nails dig into your skin. You stretch your mouth as wide as you can, hollowing it, which leads profanities spilling from his pretty mouth, even though it's a discomfort to your movement as you engulf the whole of his head with your tongue. He mumbles something incoherent under his breath and you sigh at the thought your mouth wrapped around his pretty cock.

Chan inhales a sharp breath, swearing and uttering, "Your pretty mouth could take me so well, baby. So good." You wrap your lips around the velvet tip, beginning a slow suction. Your tongue licks around the base, pulling up a fat stripe over the throbbing, prominent vein. 

“Fuck, fuck,” Chan mumbles, shifting on the sheets, his hand gripping on one of the pillows. “Open wider, please, baby. You're doing so good. You're taking me so well."

You do as he has asked of you. Your jaw is already sore and the joints ache from the girth of his head alone. He pushes his hips off the bed in the slightest without your awareness; his hand trailing back to your hair and the other still on your breast making you feel good. His grip on your hair is strong as he thrusts more of himself into your mouth, your lips wet around his length.

You try your best for it to be pleasurable for him as your fingers tighten around his length before you start to twist your wrists — with a click of your gliding joint — and continue sucking. Chan is careful to be gentle with you, very tenderly urging his cock to fill more of your mouth. It shocks you when you feel the blunt of his head hit the cap of your airway, eliciting a gag.

Chan's eyes widens, the reaction from you exciting him as you feel him twitching in your mouth. He gasps, breath uneasy as his hand leaves your hair and trails behind towards your arse that sticks out as you try deepthroating Chan. He rubs your slit slowly and the unexpected contact pushes you forward, taking in Chan a lot more than you had planned, leaving him groaning into your shoulder.

He pulls out barely before he’s pushing back in, teeth gritted and eyes focused on making you feel calm too. Chan moves back and watches you taking him so well and he knows it's a sight to behold — your pretty lips wrapping around his length, taking him so well as if your mouth was made for him, crafted to perfection. His fingers rub small circles into your vulva, tapping against the clit accidentally once or twice.

Another gag rumbles out of you as you fight the reflex. The vibrations against his member is felt and he grips on your arse, pulling you into him, your nose rubbing against his pubis. Your finger trails the underside of his shaft before rolling his balls between your fingers. His hips stutter in shallow thrusts into your mouth and you feel the sting of tears threatening to blur your vision as you oppose your gag reflex, taking him as deep as you can.

The sounds of your gagging bounces off the walls of his bedroom, followed by the deep moans and sighs spilling through Chan's lips as he fucks your mouth. Each thrust of his hips causes the head of his cock to push past your airway, your throat constricting and eliciting a groan from him. He also diverts your attention to rubbing you, now and again slapping your cheeks, eliciting moans from you against his girth.

You release your hold around his length, fingers thickly coated in your own saliva as you dig into the flesh of his thighs. Your mouth is stretched as wide as you can physically make it and tears roll down your cheek continuously, while you willingly take him completely in your mouth. You look up through the flutters of your eyelashes, enthralled to see the Adam’s apple in Chan's throat bob up and down while his head is thrown back in pleasure. 

Chan pulls your head back; his cock comes out from your mouth with a light pop followed by you gasping for air. Your eyes droop, your cheeks hollow and your jaws ache but everything counts to how hot you felt, to how hot the tension between you still is. His hand trails back to your hair, gripping on it and jerking your hair back so you’re forced to look at him. 

"This is a fucking sight to behold. Look at you, darling," he groans. 

Chan's thumb grazes your skin and he latches his lips onto yours in a sloppy, messy and wet manner and nothing else seems to matter other than your need for each other. You lean forward, tugging at his pinna as you bite down on it lightly, before mumbling, "I'm on top today."

Chan doesn't care because all he can focus on is how you said today, like this isn't just a one time thing. He gazes at you with such affection that has your heart racing telling you to let go of that stupid cages you keep around your concepts.

As your folds, dripping down with thick, sticky arousal coating Chan's cock with that and your saliva, brush the tip of his hardened cock, you feel a shudder run down your spine. You instinctively allow yourself to lower further, taking the rest of him in you swiftly with the help of your arousal. Sinking down around his dick and feeling him fully wrapped around your clutching walls has you throwing your head back, squeezing your eyes at how his length stretches you out, your walls wrapping around him tightly. He holds your waist, helping you down on his length.

You rock your hips into him, already finding yourself tightening and clenching around his thick cock. He fills you up so nicely, stuffing you perfectly full and you salivate, licking your lips. Your lips parts and you find your hips moving on their own accord. Chan's right hand rises upwards, massaging your breast, flicking your nipple and sending a rush down your spine, arching your back. His cock hits you at an angle and a soft moan leaves your lips.

Chan takes your hips in his hands, taking control of your movements to raise you up, leaving you empty and whining. You clench around nothing but air and your own walls, desperate to sink back down. “Chan,” you whine, your lower lip puckers forwards and Chan lifts himself up to kiss you.

As his hand grip around your hips to get a better hold, he slams you back down on his cock, hard, causing you to scream. “Fuck, Chan, oh my god, ah!”

He continuously guides you in a rhythmic movement, throwing his head back into his pillows and groaning. The sheen of sweat glistening on his chest catches your eye as he pants. The way his eyes clenched shut and his mouth hangs open with pleasure only makes you move faster around his cock, gyrating around it and tightening your walls. The sight before you makes you want to see him fucked out further. You want him to crumble under you because of you, leave him trembling under your hold.

He groans, "Your cunt is so pretty. Look at it, baby. Look." He gapes down and you gasp, moaning quicker.

You ride him, bouncing on his dick and clenching when you feel yourself reaching your climax for the third time that night, all because of this man. Chan's finger moves down and slips between your sweat soaked bodies to rub your clit, pushing you even further over the edge. 

“Are you going to come, baby?” He asks, breathlessly, his voice airy and light, almost floating away. He pulls his head forward to kiss your collarbones, sucking harsh bruises against your skin, continuing further down the existing purple bruises.

“Y-Yes, please, please,” you sigh, lacing your fingers through his hair and tugging on the dark strands. “Mhm, fuck, please, please, you feel so good, Chan.” You lean forward and the motion causes him to whine. You quickly catch it as your lips fall on his. His lips enclose yours, tugging and pulling at it and he kisses you slowly and passionately as you move on his cock, lazily.

Words, unfiltered and raw, spill out from your mouth after your lips leave his as you feel the high that is creeping up slowly within you. “Chan, fuck. Oh fuck. I'm going to come soon. Oh my god." Your voice reaches a pitch higher.

“Then, come.”

Chan moans against your neck as he feels you, his finger rubbing your clit, “Baby, come all over my cock. You deserve that for being the good girl you are.”

Chan's other hand that is not occupied leaves your hip and moves upwards to find its place on your neck. His fingers gently wrap themselves around your neck and that makes you wetter than you already are. He presses his fingers against your neck with pressure and you choke, gasping for air. Your mouth opens wide and your tongue falls out slightly resting on your lower lip. Your eyes roll back and your walls clench around Chan's cock tightly, your hip gyrating around it for all the friction.

Your fucked out expression as you choke for air makes Chan plunge into you harder and you choke harder, his hips lifting up and thrusting into you.

A final flick of his finger over your sensitive button and a bit more pressure over your neck are all it takes for your body to flood with pleasure and ecstasy. Your legs tighten around Chan's sides, curling in as you ride out your high for as long as possible, still moving your hips against him. His fingers let go of your neck and you breath loudly, taking in huge gulps of air.

Not long after your undoing, he comes inside you, coating your walls with his seed as you feel his length pulsate within you. Thick strings coating your walls till it seeps from your vagina and drips down.

Once your body falls limp against his chest, equally fucked out and panting for air, you feel him going soft inside you. He kisses your forehead and your hair, pushing it from your face. He lifts you up, slowly slipping out of you and gently laying you by his side, the semen slipping out. His fingers rub small circles on your hips after pulling you closer into him, nuzzling into the sides of your breast.

In his warmth, with his arms over your stomach as he snuggles closer to you, you feel your eyelids heavy and fluttering shut. His lips are close to your skin, feeling his steady breathing and listening to it calms you down, steading you and increasing your melatonin, slowly drifting away to a state of peace, all in Chan's arms.

You stir in the bed, your hand reaching out for Chan only to feel the messy bed sheets and blanket. You wake up, brought to your senses well enough and you look around to find Chan only to see the light in the balcony turned on.

Putting on his white shirt messily, you rush outside to find Chan sitting and staring at the black sky. You sit by his side, shuddering in the cold and he looks at you fondly, cracking a smile.  

"You're up?" You nod, teeth biting at the cold breeze that passes by, until you realise what Chan is staring at. It's snowing. It is the first snow in a long while and it's beautiful, albeit being late. He smiles at the purple mark that he has graced upon your skin. Chan stretches his arms out, blanket still in his hold as he offers to hold you close in this cold weather, to share his body warmth. He mumbles softly into your ears, "You should sleep a little more. It's going to be a tough day tomorrow. Aren't you meeting Jieun?"

"Yeah," you smile, watching the surroundings. "First thing in the morning. She seems to know a lot about everyone in this neighborhood. That, and I want to know why they treat Somin," Chan looks lost and you realise you haven't discussed it yet with him. "Kim Jihoon's widow is treated like that."

"I'm firm on this theory."

"What theory?"

"That Rowoon is the one killing people — bad homeowners — off because we'll, they disrupt his neighborhood. That or, they got drunk and it is still an accident."

"But Somin?"

"What? Anyone can be a bad homeowner! She's probably his next target." Chan chuckles and pulls you in closer. He holds you still for a while before he says, "We'll talk about the case tomorrow before you go to Jieun's. And you should clean up the mess of notes on the dinner table."

"You're the nagging kind of husband!" 

"No." He is quick to deny. "I just like my house at least a bare minimum clean, alright?" You laugh out loud, falling into his hold as you try to contain your joy. Something soft hits your knees, barely visible but it settles softly.

Snow. It's snow and you see the snowflakes along with it. You watch them tumble, those feathered crystals, their chaotic flight to form a blanket that could not be more uniform, more orderly. And it's beautiful. So beautiful that it eases you and has you snuggle further into his warmth. Enough to make you forget everything for a minute there in his arms.

"I like snowflakes," you say, your head resting on his chest. There is a certain intimacy in the hour, in his hold, in this weather and between the two of you. A certain intimacy to friends who only sleep and work with each other shouldn't have. Chan looks at you, waiting for you to continue. 

You do like snowflakes. A lot. Each snowflake is like a sculpture made out of paper. Each has a unique identity reflecting a crucial passage in the chosen source material with an equal amount of complexity carved out of minimal space and in the end, it falls down before someone, lighting up someone and making them happy.

"It makes me happy. It doesn't have to fit in or match with anyone else and it still means the world to someone."

Chan smiles and you know it is clearly one of your most favorite things in the world, your solace. You find the happiness growing, much as a spring flower opens. It comes from deep inside to light his eyes and spread into every part of him. Chan makes sure it is like that, that the world knows when he's happy but wouldn't, when he is sad. A person smiles with more than their mouth, and I heard it in his voice, in the choice of his words and the way he relaxed. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.

Maybe he'll teach you not to hold in your feelings. Maybe he will let you fall in love. All over again.

And you kiss him. It's short and quick, as chaste as the love you feel for him in this minute, in his arms. He leans forward and kisses you back and maybe, you both were snowflakes, as weird as you are, as unique as you — and yet the two of you make each other happy as corny as it sounds. 

"Uh," Chan pulls back and rubs the back of his head and then his nape. "I—"

"Oh, a mistletoe, look!" You point and Chan turns back, frowning to look at the tree by the side with some creepers that crawl on its branch — creepers that were not mistletoes. You smile brightly as you continue pointing and Chan looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"That's not a mistletoe."

"It isn't? I thought it was. My bad!" You laugh, eyes sparkling in mirth and cheeks heating up in embarrassment over the obvious lie you said. You sit up straight and look up at the sky. 

"It's a pretty night for whatever shit that went down today," Chan comments, staring at the moon. The moon is a warm milky glow in the sky, as if the sight of her could become a song in the eyes of anyone willing to raise their head upward. You were and you were going to seize the opportunity.

Chan's gaze is fixed on the big moon and your head thinks of him and the words from Natsume Suseki and every other anime you were forced to watch, thanks to Jeongin. In every black night, he was the spark that rekindled hope in you. 

"Is there something on my face, Y/N?"

"No," You turn back, smiling, heart fluttering and your mind at ease. "Just," you hold your chest, feeling the beating of your heart louder than ever.

"The moon is beautiful."

It's small and fragile. Once, and then, twice, till it sounds again and again and again through the silent air of your house. 

The knocking on your door is repeated and you turn to look at Chan who stirs in his sleep, thanks to the same sound. You shuffle in your bed, trying to go back to sleep, presuming it is an illusion and nothing more. However, Chan heard it too.

"Is someone…"

"I'll go check," you mumble, huffing and throwing the blanket to the side. Luckily, Chan's shirt covers you up to your thighs. You jump out of the bed and your partner decides that it is safe to follow you to the door instead. 

You open the door and in comes rushing a little boy, aged not more than eight, with tear stains on his face. He runs forward hugging your frame in his reach as he cries out loudly. Chan looks at the scene before him in delusion and you relate.

Who in the world is this child?

"Is everything alright?"

The child continues crying into your frame, burying his face into your abdomen. Chan squats down to come face to face with the child. His hand carefully holds the child's back as he pats him slowly, letting him calm down for a while before he asks again.

"Where's your mum and dad?"

"Dad isn't home. M-mum is," the child hiccups, choking on his own sobs as tears roll down his face messily. "She's in the garage and there's blood around her head and—" He cries fiercely and you hold the boy close to you, heart heavy because you know the worst possible scenario. Death.

"Why don't you take us there, okay?" Chan smiles gently. The boy looks with teary eyes at him and Chan quickly lifts him up in his hold. "Come on. Let's go."

And the boy was right and his worst nightmare comes true. You cover the eyes of the child to prevent him from further seeing the horrendous sight before him. 

Because before all of you was the body of Kim Jieun, sprawled in her own driveway, her head crushed to a pulp under her garage. 

An overturned shelf, a couple of paint cans that look like they have been thrown and some blood splattered on the floor is all you and Chan find last night. That, and a woman's broken pastel nail extension. 

You would have checked further had it not been for your undercover and that Chan had been getting endless calls from Mayor Arsehole. Changbin fumingly goes on about how he sent the two of you to put a stop to this but rather there's another case on his desk now. The man does not calm down even after Chan says that the two of you were definitely looking for a serial killer and that these deaths were not accidents. If anything, it upsets him further.

This morning however, the sun shines brighter. 

Chan walks into the kitchen, looking for you, teasingly shouting out into the air, "Honey, what's for breakfast? Eggs? Bacon? Eggs and Bacon? Or maybe it's ri—"

Before him on your cluttered table of a case file, notes and photos of evidence lies a sad bowl of soggy cereal.

"Soggy cereal it is," he frowns. 

"I made it though. It should count for something, right, husband?"

Chan grunts and sits down, spoon digging into the bowl of cereal as he takes his first bite soon enough. He glances over at the wall behind the breakfast table. You have mapped out the relationship between every single person in this neighborhood, affairs inclusive and Chan lifts his lips in pride.

"Someone has been a bit busy. When did you even sleep?"

"Didn't fall asleep. So I decided to work on this instead," and Chan realises you were not even kissing. Your eyes are grogging and your face is a lot gloomier even though you are smiling off the joy of mapping it all out.

"Did you crack the case?"

"As a psychological profiler, I can say," you frown. "I haven't. I just can't figure out the connection here. These murders were distinctly targeted, so, why? Why specifically these three people?"

Chan stirs the milk in his cereal before he looks at you and suggests, "Why don't you look for a common enemy?"

"Huh?"

"Y/N, babe," you blush at the nickname and try to zero in on the matter in hand. "I know you and I see way too many crimes on a daily basis because of our job and that makes you and I think that we are chasing after some blood sucking psychopath," Chan pauses and eats a big bite of cereal. He munches on it slowly, letting you grow anxious in waiting, "We may not be dealing with some headcase who likes to strangle old women with pantyhose. Maybe we are dealing with a good old fashioned murderer; you know, the kind that kills people because they pissed them off."

You look at the board, index finger against your cheek and your eyes widen. "You could be right!"

"Don't look so surprised also," Chan mumbles, finally finishing his cereal. 

"It could work. Maybe what the victims have in common is their relationship with the killer." You continue to stare at the board. Chan cleans the plate in the sink on the other end, mumbling at you to keep calm and that you would crack the case with him soon enough. You sigh, "I don't have enough information to look for a common enemy." You tap on the first victim, Yoon Yerin. "Especially on her."

Chan folds his arm and stares at you. This look ok you is another one of Chan's favorites. You purse your lips, eyebrows furrowed together as you concentrate. Your eyes don't waver just like your heart in moments like this and Chan thinks he could fall even further for you, for your confidence.

"I'll probably swing by her place and see what I can find there. What's your plan?"

"Drop by at Rowoon's and find out where the fuck he was last night when his wife was murdered and his child was all alone." Chan stands by your side and you nod.

"Be home by 6:30?"

"Sure thing, honey," Chan laughs and he kisses your forehead, his lips lingering for a little while longer and you still, body heating up in his contact.

You nervously laugh, pushing him away slightly, "You're in character," You laugh again. "Method acting, right? that's good."

Chan looks away, avoiding contact with you and mumbling, "Yeah. Method acting."

He wonders how long he has to put up with this stupid method acting. 

"Any luck?"

"Besides having Rowoon almost barf on my very nice dress shirt, no," you hear Chan speaking through the phone. You walk further down the neighborhood, lush green trees on either side. As much as you despised Changbin, you had to agree — the neighborhood is great. Just that it wasn't meant for people like you. People not rich.

"Do you want me to press a shirt for you?" You tease. 

"Would my wife do that?"

"In your dreams," you roar in laughter. Chan chuckles on the other end of the line. 

"Anyhow, Rowoon was out fucking one of his mistress last night. He's also pretty fucked up with the death and has not stopped drinking."

"He has an alibi?"

"Yeah," Chan sighs. "It's definitely not my homeowner's rage theory then."

You walk a little more till you stand in front of an unremarkable suburban house. You tell Chan on the other end, "I'm here. I'll get back to you soon. Bye," and hang up almost immediately. Quietly, you turn on your tape recorder and speak into it.

"184 Arbor Way. The house that belonged to Yoon Yerin, the first victim. Yerin lived alone which is uniquely for this predominantly family oriented neighborhood. That alone may have made her stand out and a target for suspicion."

You walk around the house, trying to look into it and around it, "The place is scrubbed clean. Whoever Yerin was, I'll have to find out from inside. The outside is scrubbed way too clean to get rid of any possible doubts." 

You take a step back and look around to see if anyone was passing by, before you lay your hand around the door knob and try turning it. It's locked. You wonder if Rowoon had the key. Glancing around carefully, you slide a paperclip from your pocket into the keyhole and jiggle it once — twice, till the door opens.

You smile brightly, "Some skills are rooted, ha! Thank God, I dated that sketchy guy back in college."

You pull open the door. Inside, the house is spotlessly clean. Almost as if no one ever lived in it. Whoever cleaned the place did a thorough job, almost leaving it spotless. You walk around the house, looking into every corner and room there to find anything. However, you are left looking at nothing but bare floors, undecorated walls and sparkling clean surfaces enough to shine.

You turn to leave, sighing out an air of disappointment when a gold sparkle catches your eye in the light. You bend down and find a man's golden cufflink lying against the corner of the room. Taking a latex glove from your pocket, you pick it up and bag it in a plastic cover, hiding it in your jacket as you leave only to bump into Somin.

"Oh, Hey," you stammer.

"I don't mean to pry but did you just come out from Yoon Yerin's house?" She raises an eyebrow and you hesitate, fingers holding the plastic bag tightly in your pocket.

"No, no, I—" You sigh, looking down. Lying after being caught red handed is useless. "Yes. I'll admit that I did."

"What on earth were you doing there?" She asks and you realise that to anyone from outside, your actions seemed very suspicious — enough to blow off your whole cover.

"The thing is, Yerin, I was there because," you close your eyes and inhale a sharp breath of air, "I was there because I got curious."

"Of?"

"I just heard what happened to Yerin and I needed to come and see the house myself."

"What could you possibly look for?" Her eyes waver and she looks back at the house.

"Some signs maybe," you look back to follow her gaze, "Maybe a blood stain or something. I know this might come out as a bit weird but I have always been fascinated by macabre. I even listen to Stephanie Soo's true crime podcasts regularly."

She smiles fondly and nods, "I understand. To be very honest, I was fascinated by Yoon Yerin too when I heard of her death. I tried coming by to see what had happened. But now," she sobs. "Jihoon is dead and so is Jieun. They say that there is a serial killer on the loose."

"It's so sad that it happened in this neighborhood," you take a step forward, trying to walk away.

"I know, right? The whole point of living in a gated community is to keep the awful things out." Somin leans forward and puts her hand around your shoulders. "Look, you seem like a really nice person, Y/N, so I'm going to be honest with you. There is something bad happening here, something very very bad. Keep your head down till it's over. It's for the best." 

Her tone is lower than ever and the advice sounds scarier than usual, something as if it were to warn you of an impending danger. You call Chan and he picks up quick.

"About pressing your shirt? I think I can do that. I have some pretty cufflinks to match them."

Later that night, you sit in your kitchen, the same board looming over you. You try to map out even more connections on your chart of suspects. The whole board is so covered with lines of strings that it almost looks like a spider web.

Behind you, the door swings open and Chan comes in, strides longer and quicker to take him to you as he screams, "Honey, I'm home."

You laugh, twirling in your rotating chair as you look at him and ask, "How long have you been wanting to do that?"

"Since we got this assignment. Of course, I mean," he tries putting a serious face, "It is sad that we were forced to do this by Han when he blackmailed us with that sex tape—"

"It's not a sex tape."

"The footings, but," Chan smiles widely, "It wasn't so bad to play house with you, Y/N."

"Likewise, Chan."

"Now, did you find anything?" Chan asks, resting his chin on your shoulder once you turn to face the board, his hand on your other and you freeze, surprised by the sudden contact, ironically. "This mapping just got messier."

"Yeah," you exhale and your shoulders slouch. Chan stands up straight as he tries to understand the board before him. "I tried mapping all the infidelities and affairs and this is what I got. A whole mess. It's all convoluted now."

Chan's eyes widen as he tries tracing the lines with his index finger before giving up. "Is everyone cheating on their spouses here?"

"Almost everyone."

Chan takes a step back, opens the fridge and pulling out a can of beer, he goes to sit on the sofa. You turn your chair around and watch him take a sip of it.

"Wow, you look as if you're right at home," you tease.

"There's space for two here," he pats the sofa by his side, and grins sheepishly. 

You get up and take your own can of beer from the fridge, mumbling, "I can sure take a break," and walk towards him, plopping down by his side. The two of you clink your beer cans, the sound clattering through the walls.

"It's Christmas tomorrow, you know?" 

You hum in agreement, "It's my first one outside home."

"I hope we can crack the case soon so that you can at least spend a few hours with your family on Christmas."

"Hey," you nudge his arm, "The thought of spending Christmas with you does not repulse me, okay?"

"I had not even said that," Chan gasps. He turns to look at you, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "So does that mean the thought does repulse you?"

"Don't twist my words," you laugh.  

"Do you want to get married?"

You choke on your drink, eyes wide as you look at him. He pats your back as he tells you to breathe slowly. You finally ask, "The thought or with a specific person?"

"Both."

"Yes, and no," you mumble. "I do want to get married once but," you look at Chan for a minute as he drinks his beer. "I don't think I have my feelings sorted properly to have the privilege to think of thoughts like that."

Chan leans forward, eyes dazed and fixed on yours. Has he always been this beautiful, this captivating? Has he always made your heart beat so much quicker?

"Do you think you'll ever be ready to sort them out?"

You sputter and choke again. Chan smiles again; this time however, it looked sad. He stands up, placing the beer can down on the table before. "I should get some fresh air. Take a stroll in the neighborhood and make sure nothing is going around, yeah."

You turn away, face too scared to look at him in worries of your emotions being transparent. "Yeah, you should do that. I'll get back to the mapping."

"I'll, uhm, I'll be back in a few." Chan rubs the back of his neck before quickly stepping out of the house. You sigh, head fuzzy with the overload of emotions. 

He doesn't know you were ready. He doesn't know you wanted more. He doesn't know how you confessed that night to him in the moonlight. He doesn't know of how you feel, because of you. You never told him directly, always twisting your words and actions. If anything, you had no one else besides yourself to blame.

"Chan," you whisper but it's too late. He's out.

A step too late to realise as always.

You snap out of your daze caused by the overload of emotions. Getting up, you slightly slap yourself and mumble, "Focus. Back to work now." You reach out into your pocket and take the cufflinks to file away. You turn it around in your hand when it flashes.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," you zero in on the object in your hand. "I've seen this cufflink before." You rush to the board, eyes scanning the pictures to see where you had seen it when it finally lands on the second picture pinned on the board.

You had seen it on the second victim — Kim Jihoon.

"Oh my god," you sigh, hand limp on both sides as you realise you know who it is. You know who the killer is and you know her motive. 

"I know the killer. It's Somin, oh my—"

"Clever girl," you hear the feminine voice from behind you. You spin around quickly, hand on your chest as your eyes widen to find Somin standing by the door with a huge butcher knife in her hold.

"It was you!"

"That's right. Me." She takes a step forward. Instinctively, you glance back across the living room to where your gun hangs in a holster, draped over the coat rack.

Somin takes another step forward, speaking, "Sweet little Somin. Fragile, pitiful Somin. Somin who everyone always thinks they can pick on, lie to and laugh at — Ha!" He leaps forward and wildly waves her knife. She yells. "Well, who's laughing now? Who's laughing now?"

You dodge back, repeating to yourself to dawn the fact that it is true, that, "Jihoon was having an affair with Yerin."

"That ungrateful, cheating bastard couldn't wait to jump into that slut's bed. So I showed them both," she laughs. "I showed them both well."

"That I can understand," you edge closer to the coat stand to try and get your gun. "But why did you have to kill Jieun too?"

"Are you kidding me?" She yells. "That bitch stole my snickerdoodle recipe."

You huff out in disbelief, eyes narrowing at her and eyebrows furrowing, "Ah, I see. You're a full blown psychotic."

"I was going to stop after her, you know? But then you had to go and poke your nose around in the neighborhood. Stupid bitch."

Somin takes another step towards you and you know you are still far away from your gun. She is now almost at an arm's reach and you take a step backwards instinctively. She waves her knife again and you dodge it carefully.

"Who are you, huh? A cop?"

"An NIS profiler actually." She looks lost and you sigh. "A cop, yes."

"Well, Y/N," she glares. "Do you know what I hate the most? Liars." Somin lunges at you, jabbing the knife towards your throat. You dodge to the side, neatly weaving around the thrust. Somin stumbles past you, knocking over a giant carton of cereal, spilling it everywhere.

"Argh," and she swipes again. You dodge nimbly to the side again. Her knife cuts through the air with an audible hiss and the adrenaline pumps into your blood from the fear. The knife hits the fruit bowl and sends bright red apples scattering on the table, over your notes.

"Well, well, aren't you fast?"

"You've no fucking idea," you hiss, taking in as much air as you can. You back up and feel the counter behind you.

"Enough talk!"

You gulp, gripping the counter firmly. Somin dives towards you, slicing her knife at you. You reach back and grab a heavy toaster. You pull it around and holdi it out in front of you. It crackles loudly with a hot, electrical burst.

"Fuck." Somin jerks back, as if stung, the knife dropped from her grip. The knife clatters to the floor, it's tip blackened from char thanks to the electricity. Somin steps away, clenching and unclenching her hand. 

"That fucking hurts, you bitch." 

You drop the toaster and step back, putting your hands up defensively in front of your face. You propose, "Look, Somin, it's still not too late to surrender. We can still end this peacefully, alright?"

"You think I'm going to give up just because I lost my knife? I need to survive." Somin bounces up and down, assuming a combative stance. "I've been taking aerobic kickboxing for four years." She bounds towards you and shoots a lightning fast kick at your head. You guard your face and block her kick. She bounces back and aims to kick at your shins, hard. You jump, hopping back neatly avoiding her kick.

"Are you done?"

"No," Somin recovers quickly, spinning in a fast arc and throwing out a devastating, high roundhouse. You throw up your hands and block the kick. She staggers back, her balance off. 

You seize the moment to spin around, swing low and lunge towards Somin, jamming the palm of your hand into her chin. You slide your one leg between hers and jerk back, kicking her feet out from under her and slam her down into the ground. The back of her head hits the cold tiles on the floor. You force yourself on top of her, pressing down on her chest with one knee and pant, "Four years of kickboxing, huh? Try seven years of krav maga."

She squirms under you, huffing, "Get off," and quickly lunging to get the toaster. Your eyes widen and you try to grab her hands. However, she's already about to throw the toaster when you hear the sound of metal clinking once and the toaster falling by your side.

"Nah, you're not going to hurt my wife," you turn to look at Chan, pointing the gun. He walks further ahead to the two of you. "Kim Somin, you are under arrest for the murder of Yoon Yerin, Kim Jihoon and Kim Jieun. You have the right—"

"They were all liars. All cheaters. It's not fair," she yells, struggling under your hold. You hold her wrists tighter and Chan slams the handcuffs on her. 

"It's over, Somin. It's all over. The court will hear the rest, and the dead will have their peace."

"Did you reach home?"

Your phone is connected to the bluetooth speakers in your car and you hear Chan's voice in the small vehicle. You rotate the steering wheel as you turn to the right across the street. It's a comparatively quieter day, almost as if it's in stark contrast to the shit that went down last night.

"Not yet. I'm two minutes away."

"Merry Christmas, Y/N," Chan laughs and you smile, your lips pressed together to prevent you from breaking into a big grin. "Don't miss your husband too much."

"Still in character, I see." You press on the gas to reach home a little quicker. "Are you spending it alone?"

"Nah," you hear voices in the background. "I'm spending it with Felix and Han."

"Don't miss me too much either then," you tease back and pull up at your place. You park the car in the garage and sit in the car as you speak to Chan. "And I'll meet you back in office in a few days—"

"Did you reach?"

"Oh, yes?"

"Then, check the backseat. It's my Christmas gift for you," Chan says. You unbuckle your seat belt and lift yourself up to turn back and search the backseat only to find a small box. You stretch your arms to grab it and finally sit back in your seat. 

"Did you find it?" You hear Chan through the speakers again. You hum in response and open the gift.

It's a necklace. A beautiful thin silver chain with a snowflake pendant hanging and you gasp, heart beating way too quick. He remembers. He remembers. He remembers. If you were not already flushed by the gift, the note stuck on the underside of the cover of the box has your mind fuzzy, feelings all over.

The moon is beautiful.

"Chan?"

"Yeah? Did you not like the gift? I'm—"

"I'm coming over in ten minutes. Send Han and Felix away. All I want this Christmas is you. Just you."

[at-thestillpoint]

40 questions meme: 11,13 and 37👀

[forty questions!]

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

I don't really think of writing as a passion or a hobby. Rather, it's something I feel compelled to do. (I realize this is incredibly self-aggrandizing phrasing. I don't mean that I feel called to it, but rather that there are questions or scenes or potential worlds I'm moved by and can't get out of my head, except by writing them.) But also, I love words and language and picking apart how we put them together to make people feel things. I enjoy playing in that sandbox—the act of writing—and at the end of the day, I write because it's what I want to do most with my free time (and even more with my not-free time). So I guess, in that sense, it is both.

Though, really, is writing actually fun?

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Deeply paraphrasing here, and others have said this much more eloquently, but simply: You can't edit nothing. None of the other advice matters until you have that first, scrappy draft, so get it down on paper and go from there. (I am not taking this advice very well right now.)

37. Talk about your current wips.

My current WIPs are, unfortunately for all of us, the same WIPs I have been talking about for a good six months, plus a few more! Below the cut because I have SO MANY??? (Send help.)

We have on the TG:M docket:

The other FWB fic (love you like a lover should): The Google doc for this was created in March 2023! It is still nowhere close to being done! This is the story that started as a foray into Rooster/Phoenix and quickly evolved into an exploration of Hangman/Phoenix if Phoenix had an unrequited crush on Rooster but started banging Hangman instead.

The Olympics AU (no rules in breakable heaven): Exactly what it sounds like! And also a past lovers to exes/enemies to angry lovers to second chance romance fic. (How many tropes is too many tropes?) I had a good two-day run with this during NaNo, but then work knocked me on my figurative ass, and I haven't been able to make progress since then. My goal is to finish this before the opening ceremony this summer. This is looking less and less achievable.

The politics AU: This is mostly just vibes right now. It's very roughly outlined, but the words aren't flowing yet. I got the idea futzing around on Pinterest and realizing Glen Powell really does look Like That. I'm also just really compelled by different permutations of ambitious woman/arrogant asshole, and the political world is made for stories like that.

wreck my sundays: I heard Maggie Rogers's new single and needed to write something, because "My friend Sally's getting married / And to me that sounds so scary" resonated a little too hard, while "take my money, wreck my Sundays" wrecked me. This will have a spot of fake dating. I want to keep this in the 6,000-7,000 word range, which is ironically what's keeping me from writing it, because my deep-seated need to provide context and world build is making it too verbose, and that is not a rabbit hole I want to go down.

For other universes, we have:

the truth about dreams: A Sally-focused companion piece to i dreamed you a sin and a lie. For some reason, it's been a lot harder to write this one. (Some reason: Poseidon's POV is much more interior, because it's all speculative. To give Sally's POV justice, I actually need to build the world.) And yes, I did have fun looking up songs with "horse" in the title, because I am hilarious. What serendipity that Horses fits so well.

An untitled coda to The Artful Dodger that explores what would happen if Governor Fox gave Jack a pardon, from the Governor's perspective. Governor Fox's "my wife and daughters think I'm a simpleton, and they're probably right" got to me the same way Daisy Buchanan's "a beautiful little fool" line did. There is something there and it is incredibly compelling!