being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me
OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.
and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!
and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability
Genuinely my main thing with the Watcher thing (I watch their stuff but I’d never consider myself a die hard fan) is that I really want to see the back end projections and business plans that went into this. Show me how their math mathed to the point that this seemed not just viable, but an improvement upon YouTube at this moment in time.
I’ve been watching it unfold all day and seeing the comparisons to Dropout, the unfortunate optics of reinstating the “let’s go eat stupidly expensive stuff” show as your first big new thing for the platform while also saying you don’t have money to do the “TV-quality” things you want, all that’s fine and dandy and not incorrect. But I just can’t see how this is financially going to win out.
I wish the boys the best, hope it works out for their sakes, and I hope regardless that one day we get an idea of what the decision making process was. Not the vague “ad revenue ain’t what it used to be” type comments they made in their very not-reading-the-room announcement video, but actual numbers. I’m super interested.
I cannot believe how long it took me to turn off the 24/7 tracking app in my phone AS AN ADULT after I’d ALREADY been on the warpath about never letting them use tracking software on my laptop ever again! How did that happen! At least four separate people told me multiple times that I could turn it off and I was like “No you don’t understand you don’t know how it would be if I did” and believed I truly didn’t have the option! This is baffling! I cannot believe it has been YEARS of this shit and I am STILL having more realizations! How am I supposed to ever finally fully trust I can keep myself safe if I don’t know if I know all the rules about being truly safe yet!
Mike johnson has so god damn much blood on his hands, obviously Ukrainian blood, but also plenty of American blood
Refusing to renew something that helps vets exposed to atomic blast and Americans who were downwind of the fall out... it's just sick. I can't fucking stand mike johnson, he's one of the worst scum to ever be in congress, and that's fucking saying something
"Johnson refused to allow House members to vote on bipartisan legislation to renew and improve the program"
Fucking quivering little pimple seems to have a real MO for just wringing his hands while insisting it's not his fault, he just can't do the one fucking part of his job of putting shit up to a vote... oh boo hoo, so sad, he'll just have to unilaterally let funding expire on things instead of literally just putting it up to our elected representatives to see if they want to vote yay or nay
Single handedly make the choices but it's not his fault when they work out how they do
"it gets better" is a self-fulfilling prophecy. the good kind. if you can hold on to the idea of a brighter future for yourself, no matter how vague it feels in your mind, you're more likely to sow the seeds of that very future for yourself both consciously and subconsciously.
"tomorrow will be a good day, I should prepare for it" -> "I don't feel like eating, but I need to do so so I won't be too fatigued to enjoy my good day tomorrow" -> "I'm so glad I took care of myself yesterday, it made today so much easier"
it works short-term, it works long-term. no, I don't believe there's some magic force fixing people's lives over time, no, I don't think having more life experience will save you from everything this world is gonna throw at you, I've seen too many awful, final things happen to good people to believe in any of that
but it's like a little good luck charm. you are the spellcaster and the recipient. I don't think having a good attitude toward your own future is naive, in fact I think it's vital to taking good care of yourself and willing yourself to take those extra steps needed to make things turn out alright with your own two hands
Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 10: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should join the travelers on the larger river boat for a short lunch ...
~
"Before he even fully musters the courage to shout a 'hello', the large group on the boat initiates contact first, gleefully waving at him, whooping and shouting as they near his tiny raft in the water. Apparently, some of them were betting over whether they'd actually find any other travelers out on the river today.. He fumbles over his words a bit, as always, but somehow manages to successfully get himself invited onto their boat for a quick lunch..
After safely securing his raft to the side of the boat with some spare rope, he climbs aboard, stumbling into the excitement of some sort of celebration. A few of them explain that they're traveling for 'kahesallei', an old elven holiday recently re-popularized in some of the larger cities nearby. Whatever it's true meaning and origins used to be, the current significance (at least to those within the city walls) seems to just be mindless feasting, drinking, and gaudy decor. Most of the traveling group are strangers to each other, only brought together by catching a ride on the same tour/party boat, but the mood is light, quite friendly between them, and perhaps a bit drunk.
While the boat itself is relatively plain wood, it's been strewn with gold and orange banners, flags, shimmery tassels, beads, and bushels of dark green ivy braided with fresh herbs and wildflowers. There are flat round tables of food and drink, plenty of cushions to lounge on, and one random guy perched precariously on the edge railing of the boat, gently strumming a lute for background music..
The elderly ship captain hobbles over to The Adventurer, sternly explaining that, no matter what the 'silly' passengers say, he's only allowed to stay for an hour because he didn't pay for a boat ride ticket, and thus really shouldn't even be allowed on board. By the time The Adventurer has mentally processed this information, the captain has already returned to his little steering room, slamming the door shut with a displeased grunt.. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to confront him or question the rules...... But! Hey, at least he has one hour at the party.. How should he spend his time? "
~
Additional Information
the adventurer's current main goal: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more.
He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
7 6 2 5 4 7 3 2 5 1 4
4 7 4 7 6 4 (when i was a young boy)
6 74 6 7 67 4 53 (my father took me into the city)
6 7 6 54 3 (to see a marching band)
4 5 7 4 764 (he said son when you grow up)
674 6 7 67 4 53 (would you be the savior of the broken)
6 7 6 54 3 (the beaten and the damned)
(notation is only somewhat reflective of timing lolz). the limited palette necessitates a bit of wrongness.. for instance the first B (third note) is supposed to be higher than the other notes but adapting to the lower B sounded better than using the only other higher note - the A7. alas, tis the nature of shits and giggles 🖤