#and I can’t even blame him because Niko is perfect

[asexualandalwaysshipping]

The funniest thing about Niko joining the gang is the fact that just the episode before, Edwin is INSISTENT that they don’t need Crystal in the agency because they don’t need a living person around and is determined to leave her out but then immediately accepts her next door neighbor instead which means the problem was just Crystal alone —

[mondscheinprinzessin]

“you flat out just admitted you have feelings for me.”

I’m starting to fill prompts from this list. As I can’t focus on any of my stories at the moment, I thought I would write some random scenes in varying length and with different pairings. You can also request one in my askbox if you want (I can’t promise anything though). Here’s the first one, prompt will always be in the title. [Joel/Aleksi]

“Ah yes finally, some fresh air, which doesn’t smell of sweat and Miko’s shitty pick of beverage that he dares to call beer.” Joel said and took in some air through his nose in an exaggerated way. His chest was rising under his shirt and Aleksi averted his eyes before he thought too deeply about the muscles working under the black fabric that clung to his body like a second skin.

“It’s good to finally get Joonas’ hairspray and gel loaden hair out of my nose.” Aleksi said instead, though he flinched mentally, hoping it didn’t come across too hateful. Nowadays he perceived every comment about Joonas differently than before. Different to before Joonas had kissed Joel on the mouth in the studio and announced they were now together. 

But Joel didn’t react to it in any way, only propped up his arms on the metal railing of the balcony they were on. A little safe haven from the mayhem going on inside. It was supposed to be a small party for the birthday of a mutual friend, but as usual things had gotten out of hand. 

And Aleksi may have known the guys from Blind Channel for a while now, but he never really got used to drunk people or a wasted Niko trying to get anyone to duet with him on My Heart Will Go On on the karaoke machine. 

Joel had come to the rescue when he saw him hiding in the kitchen and practically dragged him outside and now they were standing here, taking in the colder September air while Aleksi was trying not to get crazy with Joel so close to him that he could smell his aftershave. 

It was hard not to give in to the temptation, but it was too late now, and he should bury these feelings deep inside. Before they destroy any friendships or the band, the last thing he wanted was to make anyone miserable. He of course had been feeling miserable for a few weeks now -the kiss was burned into his mind as well as the date when his heart shattered into a thousand pieces- but that was his and his problem only.

But nonetheless, Joel’s naked arm was right there and Aleksi could just loop his own around it, but he didn’t dare to. 

So they were just standing silently next to each other, gazing out into the night sky, a few stars flickering back at them.  

It was here where Aleksi’s night began to go downhill. A few hours earlier he had been excited for the party, seeing a few friends again, getting to eat cake, and shaking off the tension from working all around the hour. 

But it was here where he had smoked a cigarette to calm down and saw Joonas and Joel arriving through the glass door, walking in, hands intertwined like they couldn’t be apart for even one second. Aleksi hated the burning jealousy rising up in him the instant he saw the pair and took another forceful drag, though it was in vain. With the sight of Joonas giving Joel a peck on the cheek before he sauntered off to the kitchen also came a wave of anger. Mostly towards himself. Because he had pushed away talking with Joel about his feelings for too long and now it was too late. It was his own damn fault, he had no one else to blame, not even Joonas. 

He knew it wasn’t fair to resent Joonas, he was his friend, and just because he had the balls to confess to Joel didn’t make him Aleksi’s enemy. Only...in a way he was. Aleksi tried not to show it too much, how much he envied Joonas for all he had now. How close he could be to Joel, how he could kiss and cuddle him. Everything that Aleksi wanted. But didn’t get. 

Swallowing down the painful thoughts he concentrated on the wind in his hair, and not the way Joonas and Joel fit so well. After ten years of being best friends they finally found each other, wasn’t it perfect? Like a romantic story straight out of a script for the next Hollywood Movie. Where was his award for the best supporting role, playing the shitty best friend? 

Now he was craving another cigarette, but they were in his jacket, which hung inside. And he didn’t want to leave Joel. Not when he could have him alone for a few moments as selfish as it sounded and once again, he chastised himself for his improper thoughts. Joel didn’t belong to him; he had no right to feel like he lost a part of his soul whenever he fell into the arms of Joonas. 

Joonas, Joonas, Joonas. He should really stop thinking about him, his mood was as sour as it could get, even with the bit of wine Aleksi had consumed that normally made him want to hug everyone around him. He was wary though about hugging Joel. Once he was pressed against him, he never wanted to let go again and it hurt too much when Joel eventually stepped back and Aleksi felt uneasy under the gaze of Joonas, fearing he was wearing his emotions on his sleeve and the longing and greed for more contact with Joel was showing in every act of his doing. 

What should he say when Joonas confronts him about it? Deny everything till the bitter end or confess and risk the group breaking up? Damn it, there wasn’t any possibility of everyone going away happy from this situation. 

Aleksi eyed Joel’s profile from the side, trying not to be too obvious. Though with the alcohol that Joel drank it should be easy to stay undetected. Letting his eyes wander from his face to his slim shoulders to the tattoos covering his arm over to his long fingers that he had so often watched plucking the strings on the acoustic.

Joel sighed and Aleksi quickly turned his head before Joel could discover he was outright staring at him. 

“Can I tell you something? I wanted to tell you for a long time now.”

The instant Joel asked, Aleksi’s heart sped up. What could it be that Joel wanted to get rid of now? Aleksi didn’t dare to let any hope well up in him because that was just ridiculous, but he stopped breathing when Joel turned to face him, so close Aleksi could see the stars twinkling in his blue eyes.

He could only nod, not brave enough to use his voice now. 

“I’ve always admired you, you know. For everything you’ve done and accomplished from a young age, doing what I dreamed of. From the beginning on, the first time you came to the studio, I saw how special you were and when you never said yes to joining the band, I was so worried you would leave us eventually. I couldn’t have taken it, seeing you leave. Just the thought hurts, that you could’ve left us behind. The day you finally said yes was one of the best of my life, you can’t imagine how happy I was hearing you say it. You’re so important to me, you don’t even know how much.”

Joel said it all with such sincerity and opened himself for him to show him the raw emotions he felt towards his decision regarding the band that Aleksi was taken aback for a moment. He didn’t expect to hear those words now or ever, and as sweet as the intention of them was, it hurt Aleksi in a different way. 

It only showed him that Aleksi was all this to Joel but still couldn’t fill the criteria for love. As much as he appreciated hearing it, knowing he was valued, he couldn’t help the stinging in his heart or the tears prickling in his eyes, which he would blame on the wind if anyone asked.  

Joel was tapping with his nails on the railing, head turned away from him. And then he mumbled something that made Aleksi’s heart stop for good. “Yeah, you can’t imagine how much you mean to me. I mean it took my dumbass brain an eternity to realize it, maybe you’re faster, but you haven’t said anything yet, so I guess I was just stupid. Should’ve never fallen for you.” Another sigh from him. 

Turning to the side, away from Aleksi and facing the door now, he shook his head, Aleksi too stunned to say anything yet. Joel then saw something or someone and waved to the inside. With one look over his shoulder Aleksi made out Joonas in the living room and quickly took Joel’s arm, yanking him away from the glass. Joel tumbled a bit. After the confession Aleksi should’ve guessed that he was more intoxicated than Aleksi had assumed. 

“Huh?” Joel only asked with a confused expression which shouldn’t be as adorable as it was. 

Aleksi regarded him with big eyes, shocked over the words and Joel’s behaviour. “You want to bring Joonas over now? You flat out just admitted you have feelings for me. What’s going on with you?” He said through gritted teeth, couldn’t get too loud so as not to draw attention from the people inside. 

“What has Joonas got to do with this? If I like you then I like you. Should’ve told you sooner and avoided all this mess.” Joel ran a hand through his messy hair. 

“Joel, what? You’re not that drunk that you would forget about your relationship with Joonas. What’s really going on here? Be honest because I don’t like it when games are being played with me.”

Those words finally had an effect on Joel who now put his hands on Aleksi’s shoulder, steadier on his legs than before though now he didn’t look as calm anymore, more distraught than anything. 

“Ah fuck, no, no, no. See, Joonas and I are not together. It was just a way to make you jealous of him and hopefully see that you like me as well. I know it’s dumb.”

And what? That was a lot to be dropped on him now and he sobered up so fast he got dizzy with the revelation. So all these weeks he had felt horrible for nothing? Joonas wasn’t- there was no relationship. Joel wasn’t together with anyone. He was free and Aleksi felt a weight being lifted from his shoulder together with Joel’s hands who stepped back and slumped against the railing, a sad expression on his face. He knew he fucked up and while Aleksi was glad that Joel was aware of how brainless the whole ordeal was, there was still one thing left to do. 

“Yes, it is. Because you could’ve just asked me.”

“But that’s so scary. Can’t you see how amazing you are? I tried to gather the courage for years now to tell you that one fucking sentence.” Joel laughed shortly at his own inability to bring it up. “And look where it led me. Getting my best friend to join me in this fake relationship and now you’re mad. I fucked up. Sorry, I will- I can go.” He turned to leave but once again Aleksi held him back with a firm grip on his hand. Interlacing their fingers so there was no out for Joel, no way would Aleksi drop this opportunity. 

“Joel, stop. Don’t leave now.”

“What?”

“Tell me now.”

“Tell you what?”

Joel must be tipsier than he thought, or his brain was in usual slowmode. So Aleksi gave him a small smile that he hoped looked reassuring and took in a breath to get the words out. “Tell me that fucking sentence that you held back all those years. Tell me and I’ll give you an answer to the question you have.”

Joel came closer again, never dropping Aleksi’s hand, gulped and looked at him for a while and Aleksi worried that he wouldn’t do it. Leave him standing here and go back to Joonas, real relationship or not. 

But then Joel caressed the back of his hand with his thumb and Aleksi was instantly calmer. Joel wasn’t directly looking in his eyes, more at his nose, and Aleksi knew how hard it was for Joel to say whatever he wanted to say. What Aleksi wanted to hear. 

“I love you. So much.” Joel breathed out in a whisper. “You probably didn’t even see how head over heels I was the minute we met. Fuck, saying it now makes me realize how deeply I feel for you.” There was that smile on his lips Aleksi adored so much and his heart skipped a beat, not hurting anymore. 

He smiled back shyly but took another step closer. “Can I give you my answer now?”

Joel only nodded.

This time their eyes found each other and even though Joel might not have predicted Aleksi’s next move, his eyes closed as soon as Aleksi moved closer and inhaled as if to prepare himself. Briefly, as their noses were already touching, Aleksi glanced a last time at Joel before closing the small distance. 

As often as Aleksi had stared at Joel’s lips (which he would never admit to anyone) he could have never imagined how fucking good it would feel once he could touch them. At first he was tentative, unsure if Joel might not pull back, realizing this wasn’t what he wanted all along, but when Joel took his free hand to pull him closer at his waist, Aleksi put in more pressure, finally getting what he had dreamed about for so long. It was so much better in reality and Aleksi wasn’t sure if he could stop, now that he had a taste. 

Even when their breaths ran out, they were unable to pull apart, chasing the last kiss and another, until they were standing with their foreheads against each other, smiling like idiots, heaving in air. Joel’s hand was still placed on Aleksi’s shirt at his side so he couldn’t tear away from him, not that he wanted to. Instead Aleksi dropped their intertwined hand and wrapped both his arms around Joel’s neck, burying his head in his shoulder, getting as close as he could. The aftershave in his nose was not a painful reminder anymore. 

“Can you break up with Joonas now?” He murmured into the shirt he had praised in his head not so long ago. “Don’t tell him you cheated though or else we will never hear the end of it.”

Joel laughed into his hair and closed his arms around Aleksi’s middle. “Sure. You’re the only one for me.”

[starring-movies]

Killing Eve: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Season 1, Episode 5 - I Have a Thing about Bathrooms

The episode picks straight up from the end of S1E4, when Villanelle is chasing and shooting at Frank. Eve stops the car to confront Villanelle, who is visibly shocked that Eve had the courage to confront her (especially since Villanelle had a gun), and because this is the first time they’re seeing each other in person since meeting in the hospital toilets.

When Eve gets out of the car, she puts one hand up to show Villanelle that she isn’t going to hurt her, and she puts her other hand on her heart, as if to show her care and concern. Almost as if trying to test to see if Eve is genuine that she cares for her, Villanelle puts the gun to her head, and Eve’s immediate “no!” confirms this to her. (Or this is just more emotional manipulation like we get later in the kitchen scene)

When Frank is being shown around his safe house, he is shown where the bedroom is and told “this is where the magic happens”. Unfortunately for Frank this is foreshadowing to him getting killed by Villanelle in the bedroom.

While Frank is telling Carolyn and Eve about The Twelve, he says that their aim is destabilisation and when Eve asks “to what end”, Frank simply says “chaos”. This is referenced back to in S3E7, when Hélène tells Villanelle that she loves her because she is an “agent of chaos”.

In the scene when Eve is at the bus stop, the first thing she does is take out her hair, so we can assume that Villanelle is on her mind. Eve sees a crack in the glass of the bus stop and presses it with her finger, it doesn’t break and so she proceeds to smash the glass with her elbow.

The glass with the crack represents Eve. The crack symbolises something that has always been within Eve, her darkness and impulse and desire around killing. Eve manages to keep it together though (shown with the glass, when she presses the crack with her finger but it doesn’t break yet), she often feels the pressure from herself and of her darkness pushing to overcome her, but she won’t let it break her or become too unmanageable. She also represses the existence of the crack (the darkness), but it’s something that Villanelle saw in Eve from the beginning; it’s what she thought made Eve “special” [S2E8] and why she was so upset when Eve rejects both the darkness and her (just like Villanelle’s mother did). The pressure on the crack in the glass is also being put on by Eve herself, again reminding us why Villanelle was so upset with Eve, telling her “it’s what you wanted”; and Villanelle is right, it is what Eve wanted deep down but she’s in denial and won’t accept it and so blames Villanelle, its not until S3E8 that she’s willing to accept her darkness.

However, now Villanelle has come into Eve’s life and she’s aware that Villanelle will be the elbow to the crack in her glass. As they discuss on the bridge in S3E8, Eve can feel the control of her “monster” slipping away from her as Villanelle’s monster encourages her’s.

Eve goes on to take her suitcase, with all the things that Villanelle packed in it, back to her house and has another look at what was put in it. Eve can see that all the clothes and the shoes are her exact size, which is one of the things that drives her to put the dress and shoes on - here is someone who sees Eve, knows her so well and has paid such attention to detail to her from the brief times she’s seen her, that she gets clothes that she knows suit Eve and fit her perfectly. Considering Niko got her a scarf she doesn’t even like, and doesn’t seem to know her style well at all, to have someone pick clothes and shoes that are so perfect for her seems to be incredibly attractive to Eve.

Eve again takes hair hair out when putting on the dress, shoes and perfume from Villanelle. When we see her put on everything that Villanelle gave her and take out her hair, and when she looks at her reflection in the mirror, she is completely an image of exactly how Villanelle wanted to see her. Eve looking at herself in the mirror also shows how she wants to see herself in the way that Villanelle wants to see her.

Unloved’s, ‘(Sigh)’, which plays during this scene of Eve trying on the dress also reflects how Eve is feeling in this moment. The lyrics are:

“There’s something about

The way you are

That makes me (sigh)”

The lyrics reflect Eve’s mixed emotions about Villanelle and her confusion in dealing with them. The word “something”, as well as the *sigh* (the feeling can’t even be expressed with words - only a longing sigh), shows how there’s just this mysterious thing that Eve can’t put her finger on that’s dragging her closer to Villanelle. She feels this unrelenting attraction to an assassin, and not just a assassin, but one that killed her close friend and co-worker - Villanelle is someone she should hate with no question, yet she can’t.

We then get the long awaited proper first meeting between Eve and Villanelle, the kitchen scene.

The entire scene is a power play between the two women as they assess the situation, and each other, after spending the whole season so far obsessing about each other from a distance.

It obviously begins with Villanelle, who has surprised Eve in her safe space, in the position of power. She tells Eve she wants to have dinner with her and to change out of the wet dress, saying “I won’t look”, but then proceeds to look anyway and helping her out of the dress, adds “you have a nice body”. From this we can see that Villanelle makes it clear to Eve from the beginning that she’s attracted to her; but Eve is the one who won’t take it further, until the kiss in S3E3 which is one of the reasons why Villanelle is so shocked - Eve initiated the intimacy this time.

When Eve asks Villanelle why she’s come to her house, she tells Eve “I need someone to help me. I don’t want to do this anymore. I know what I am. I know I’m not normal... I don’t feel things that... I don’t want to hurt people”. What Villanelle says is an attempt to manipulate Eve, but Eve sees straight through the act saying it’s “bullshit”, which surprises Villanelle. However, given the events of Season 3, there is some truth to what Villanelle is telling Eve, as everything she said becomes true for her later on. In the exact same words as she used in this scene, in S3E6 Villanelle tells Dasha “I don’t want to do this anymore”, but the second time she says it she says it entirely sincerely.

Eve also tells Villanelle “I know something happened to you”, which contrasts with the tea dance scene in S3E8, where Eve instead asks Villanelle “what happened?”. Eve goes from being entitled to Villanelle and having a certainty in what she thinks she knows about her, to understanding and being considerate of her feelings much more. When they meet at the tea dance in S3E8, Eve is listening to what Villanelle is saying to her and can see she’s upset and so asks her a question, giving her the opportunity to share what’s bothering her if she wants to, rather than trying to make a statement about what she thinks she knows happened to her.

Villanelle does the same thing with Eve in this kitchen scene, as she does with Hélène in S3E7. She replies to Eve’s request to tell her more by first saying “okay”, but then diverting and saying “can we get one thing clear before we go on with this? Is that a sweater attached to a shirt?”. Similarly when Hélène asks Villanelle “has something happened recently?”, Villanelle first says “I did something bad to my mother”, but then in the same way as with Eve, only follows up by saying “I took a shit in her shoe when I was three”.

In the tea dance scene in S3E8, before they were interrupted by the man encouraging them to get up and dance, we can also see that Villanelle looked like she was about to answer Eve’s question, illustrating how much Eve and Villanelle’s relationship has developed emotionally, especially for Villanelle who doesn’t open up to anyone. She becomes more willing to discuss her feelings with Eve than the emotional guardedness we get in this scene, as both women are just trying to gauge the other.

When Villanelle smells Eve, she asks her “are you wearing it?”, which again shows us how she reuses things she’s heard or observed, as it’s exactly what Sebastian asked Villanelle in S1E2.

Eve also makes a comment to Villanelle telling her “I am going to find the thing you care about, and I am going to kill it”. Hopefully this isn’t foreshadowing for the coming seasons, that Eve is the thing that Villanelle cares about and so ends up being killed.

Another small but impactful moment is Villanelle telling Eve “I will eat anything”. Continuing with Killing Eve’s aim of subverting audience expectation and going against gender stereotypes, Villanelle is an attractive woman but also an enthusiastic eater. She eats a lot in the show and more importantly when she does eat, she isn’t just eating a salad. Usually in film and television woman aren’t shown eating, or if they are, they’re eating some sort of salad or a tiny unsubstantial meal to maintain the idea that they’re dainty and trying to keep slim and attractive. So to have a female lead character who is so strong and attractive, heartily eating all this food and enjoying it, shows the audience that a woman can indulge in her food and doesn’t have to be depicted eating one lettuce leaf to have these qualities.

A funny little detail - Carolyn tells Eve her dog is called Martin, that means her dog’s full name is Martin Martens.

When Villanelle goes to kill Frank, she tells him that she’d prefer to kill him in the bathroom rather than the bedroom, saying “I have a thing for bathrooms, actually”. Villanelle has a thing for bathrooms because she has just come from Eve’s house (where they fought in the bathroom), and the bathroom of the hospital is where her and Eve first met.

Villanelle also warns Frank, telling him “don’t get me excited”, when he tries to fight her off with a chair. This is confirmation that Villanelle can get excited, making her kills more violent, like when she killed the hospital room of people after she met Eve in the toilets.

You can read my previous Killing Eve posts here:-

First Introduction to Villanelle

First Introduction to Eve

S1, E1 - Nice Face

S1, E2 - I’ll Deal With Him Later

S1, E3 - Don’t I Know You?

S1, E4 - Sorry Baby

S1, E6 - Take Me To The Hole!

S1, E7 - I Don’t Want to Be Free

S1, E8 - God, I’m Tired

S2, E1 - Do You Know How to Dispose of a Body?

S2, E2 - Nice and Neat

S2, E3 - The Hungry Caterpillar

S2, E4 - Desperate Times

S2, E5 - Smell Ya Later

S2, E6 - I Hope You Like Missionary!

S2, E7 - Wide Awake

S2, E8 - You’re Mine

S3, E1 - Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey

S3, E2 - Management Sucks

S3, E3 - Meetings Have Biscuits

S3, E4 - Still Got It

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 1]

S3, E5 - Are You From Pinner? [Part 2]

S3, E6 - End of Game

S3, E7 - Beautiful Monster

S3, E8 - Are You Leading or Am I? [Part 1]

————————————————————————————————————————

[valkyrieelysia18]

RWBY Rewrite: Pyrrha Nikos

Hello again! And this time I get to use that for the right post. Today we are taking a look at one of the characters that got severely short changed when it came to character development Pyrrha Nikos.

Pyrrha is perhaps one of the more popular characters of RWBY and her background and fighting abilities gave her immense potential. Her personality was rather sweet too. Unfortunately, the first two volumes didn’t really give her much outside of Jaune and when we finally got something in the third volume, she got killed off. Here’s the thing....I don’t actually mind that she got killed off.

Now before you all crucify me, let me explain. Volume 3 was a mixed bag of storytelling, but I don’t have any problems with the deaths and losses. It was a good way of setting the tone going forward: People are going to die, characters we have grown close to aren’t safe, and even our main team is not untouchable. Pyrrha’s death, the death of the seemingly untouchable perfect hero that seemed fated for success, was honestly a good idea.....executed poorly.

To get what I’m going on about, I’m going to talk about one of the few things I think the original Fullmetal Alchemist anime did better Brotherhood; the buildup and death of Maes Hughes. We get introduced to him a couple of years prior to the story’s present and when we come back to the current time, we see Maes quite a bit whether it helping the other characters or just him being his loveable self. We know him and his family very well. We see him as a father, a husband, a soldier, and a friend. When he dies, its a genuine gut punch. Especially because we know he had a life prior to the plot.

That was never something I got from Pyrrha. For someone who hates her fame, we don’t really see her deal with it all that much outside of her first conversation with Weiss and the Pumpkin Pete’s advertising which one episode in early Volume 1. We only get her talking about one member of her family (her mother) and it’s never brought up again. No, that scene in Argus does not count. Show, don’t tell is a very much a problem with Pyrrha’s story arc.

Then of course there is the biggest problem of all this: her relationship with Jaune. Now, I’m going to get into this more when we get to the Rewrite for the Jaunedice Arc, but I’ll give you a brief overview of feelings on him. I like Jaune and I don’t think that he’s an inherently bad character. He does have some good qualities and potential. Unfortunately, even though I like Jaune, I recognize that he has gotten way too much screen time (to the detriment of many other characters including Ruby and Pyrrha) and he has gotten away with a lot of things with little blowback to himself. I guess I’m more inclined to blame the writers than Jaune because everyone is done in by the writing. So, it’s still going to be there, but majorly changed to make it a lot more balanced and believable. Basically, the relationship is important to her, but it doesn’t define who she is as a character.

I feel this writing is going to get a bit more in depth so prepare yourself accordingly. Also note that I dropped RWBY after Volume 6 so anything introduced or mentioned in Volume 7 and beyond will be disregarded. So let’s get into it!

Before Beacon: Prophecy and Fame

In this Rewrite, Pyrrha was born in a port city in Southern Anima that draws heavily from the Ancient Greco-Roman culture. She was the only child of very prosperous merchants, her family having gained great wealth following the Great War due to their ties to other kingdoms in trade. Much like Weiss’s family, they’re relatively noveau rich. Her parents doted on her and when she got older, they saw she was a natural in the art of combat. They took her to a seer in the city, an older woman by the name of Laurel Visione who as you might guess is a reference to the Oracle of Delphi. Laurel tells Pyrrha and her parents that she was blessed with great strength and talent. That her star is bright and she has the ability to become a great warrior with a great destiny.

Her parents are pleased by these words, but Pyrrha notices the woman seems to be holding something back. As her parents leave, she lingers behind and asks the woman about it. Laurel smiles and tells that those gifted with that much brightness, also tend to burn out young. She goes on and tells Pyrrha that if she chooses the path of a hero, she will save many lives and inspire many more, but it will also take her away from what she truly wants. It doesn’t mean that she will die, free will should always be taken into account, but if she chooses this path she will meet death sooner rather than later. She’s telling Pyrrha this because it’s her destiny, not her parents, and its up to her to choose how she’s going to face that destiny. As a parting piece of advice, she tells her that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t see that reason until much later.

Pyrrha keeps this all in mind, as well as keeping it a secret from her parents. We’ll get back to Laurel later.

Her parents, unaware of this, go all out in supporting her in her training. With every new tournament and success, their pride grows even more. They do however realize, that the success is affecting her standing among her peers, her fame making it all but impossible for her to have friends. There is an also accident with Pyrrha’s semblance that almost permanently injured someone because Pyrrha lost control. As a result, Pyrrha only uses a fraction of her semblance’s power and that gives more context to when she got upset during Volume 3 when she used it on Jaune in the courtyard.

When she announces to her parents she’s applying for Beacon, they’re shocked. Not everyone who graduates from a combat school ends up at the Academies (such institutes are super competitive) and with Pyrrha’s semblance mainly geared towards fighting people, throwing away her tournament career when she’s at the top of her game seems rash. Tournament fighting isn’t easy and isn’t as prestigious as being a Huntress, but it’s also much safer with sanctioned rules and the paycheck being just as lucrative. Not to mention, she’d be doing her schooling on a completely different continent. As parents, they love their daughter and want what's best for her, but they honestly can’t understand why she’s doing this. Nevertheless, she’s made her decision and there’s nothing they can say to change her mind. All they can do is see her off with a smile and wish her well.

Beacon: Fame, Friendship, and Love

Now a somewhat constant thing that comes up with Pyrrha during her school days is that her fame is very much hanging over her. Students are constantly trying to get her autograph, people like Cardin try to rile her up, and during the tournament some Haven students openly disparage her for transferring to another kingdom. This will eventually allow her and Weiss to get closer, as Weiss has had to deal with fame and even higher expectations since she was younger than Pyrrha.

Her relationship with her teammates become the first genuine experiences she has with friendship; Nora is a great workout buddy who makes everyone laugh and Ren is someone she can talk a lot of things over with such as the differences between Central Anima and Southern Anima. However, she is new to working with a team and it takes her a little while to get used to it. This is part of the reason why she’s so trusting of Jaune’s leadership at the beginning until it is shaken by him revealing the truth about his transcripts.

Of course, being a rewrite she also gets a lot more interaction with Team RWBY. Her relationship with Ruby is very much highlighted with the younger girl being a tad more idealistic and naïve with Pyrrha being a bit more reserved and more knowledgeable about her future goals. These two are very much foils to each other, which I will get to later on.

Then of course there is her relationship with Jaune. In the show, she says that Jaune was the first person to treat her as a regular girl and this rewrite will be showing that. While others will be interested in her accolades and fame, Jaune will show interest in Pyrrha as a person like the things she enjoys and what growing up for her was like. They start on a strong friendship with Pyrrha’s feelings developing into something more and Jaune a tad more oblivious to it. This will definitely change their relationship from Volumes 1 and 2, but not 3. Though I would probably cut out one of the Arkos songs because there are two more than it needs to be. It gives off the impression that Pyrrha defined herself solely by her relationship with Jaune and you never want to make a character come off as just a love interest to another character. And there are so many other people who would probably benefit with a song POV.

Death: Aftermath and Distrust

The main difference about Pyrrha’s death in canon and this rewrite is that her death affects everyone in the main group, especially her teammates and Ruby. Jaune is still very affected as he was her partner and friend and still has very conflicted thoughts over her romantic feelings towards him, but Ren and Nora are also noticeably grieving her in their own ways. Ruby tries to bottle it up most of the time, much like how she treats a lot of her negative emotions and that comes back to bite her much later on when she is at her lowest and reaches her emotional breaking point. For most of the story, she gets very haunting dreams about Pyrrha (occasionally accompanied by Penny) saying that she has accepted her destiny and questions what Ruby is going to do. This will be foreshadowing for what I’ll talk about in the next section.

The biggest effect that Pyrrha’s death has is that JNR is much more distrusting of Ozpin than RWBY. While they will recognize that Pyrrha made her own decision and they blame Cinder and the others for her death, they still see the whole choice presented to Pyrrha as extremely sketchy and questionable. Pyrrha was the type of person who would not have said no if it meant saving people. And more than just what could have been the result of the transfer, its the fact that they chose a first year student for the job when there should have been better candidates with more experience and a better understanding of what they were getting into (especially as we know the cut off date for Maiden powers is 30).

Jaune, Ren, and Nora still see Salem and her group as the biggest threat to humanity, but that doesn’t mean they like or trust Ozpin (this is not the same for Oscar, but that’s another post). And given that this rewrite will make Oz a much more morally gray character who HAS done some pretty reprehensible things in his conflict with Salem, this distrust will turn out to be very much justified.

Another change to the story is that after Mistral Arc, JNR would actually split off from the main group. Getting the Relic to Atlas is definitely a priority, but this also leaves Shade Academy in a bit of the dark with how things are going. So RWBY, Qrow, and Ozcar would head to Atlas with the Relic while JNR accompanied by Team SSSN would head to Vacuo (which doesn’t have closed borders and therefore would be easier to travel to) after a taking a short detour to Pyrrha’s hometown to give the news to her parents in person. This would make writing the Atlas Arc easier by trimming down the size of the group.

The meeting with Pyrrha’s parents....does not go well. The actual confirmation of their daughter’s death is heartbreaking and their grief and anger is focused on the immediate targets: her teammates. They angrily ask why they didn’t try to stop her or get professional help. They especially treat Jaune harshly when he tells them she sent him away before going to confront Cinder. The three very much realize that they’re not welcome and present what’s left of Pyrrha’s personal things (including her circlet). The two calm down a bit as they see these things and accept them with thanks, but politely tell the group to leave and allow them to grieve alone. They disapproved of her choice and this result makes them feel justified in their opinion. They feel cheated of their only child, who could have done so much...had she not chosen to become a Huntress. 

As JNR leaves the house, they’re greeted by Laurel Visione. After a brief conversation about her past with Pyrrha in Laurel’s home, they question why she would tell Pyrrha about her destiny if that destiny would lead to her death. Laurel would tell them that she wanted to Pyrrha to understand the full risks of the path she was walking towards. If she wanted to turn back from that, she could have, she’d have more than enough time to come to the decision, but she choose not to. She accepted her destiny and had viewed it with a measure of peace. Laurel states that she probably died with some regrets, very few people don’t, but she made her own decision to that end and she wouldn’t have blamed anyone for it.

Before the group leave to meet up with Team SSSN to head to Shade, Laurel tells them one last thing: That the choice that Pyrrha had in front of her is the same one that Ruby is also going to deal with.

Destiny: Ruby

Perhaps the best way to summarize the foil relationship between Pyrrha and Ruby is a quote from one of my favorite animes of all time Princess Tutu: “Those who accept their fate find happiness; those who defy it, glory.”

Pyrrha knew from practically the beginning that her destiny as a hero would lead to an early end. And she accepted it. If it meant saving others and doing what was right, she would gladly give her life to do so. During Volume 3 with the Maiden choice hanging over is when she actually considers walking away from everything and staying with her friends, realizing what Laurel meant all those years ago. But in the end, she still chose her path even if she didn’t know everything about what was going on.

As for Ruby, I mentioned Raven giving a warning to Ruby about using her eyes would lead to an early grave like her mother and grandfather (who are posthumous characters who will play a role in the greater story). I’m not going into specifics right now, but the Silver Eyes bear a great cost in this Rewrite and almost all Silver Eyed Warriors die extremely young. The path of a Silver Eye, of a great hero that Ruby had wanted to emulate, will turn out to have a dark price to it. 

The difference between Ruby and Pyrrha is that Ruby does not accept this fate. She will not walk away from the fight, but she is not going to readily sacrifice herself either. She is going to take a look at her fate, her people’s history, Ozpin and Salem’s conflict, and tell them to screw destiny. Screw people making assumptions and choices for her. The only person who gets decide who she is and what she stands for is her. And everyone has the right to make that same decision.

OKAY, that post took longer than I thought it was going to. At least I got it out before I went with my family on our Christmas vacation. The next post will probably get out in 2020. As for the topic, let’s just say it’s not about a person....

[what-you-dont-surrender]

K.E. 2x06 Analysis

The sex scene! I called it! Not going to go too much into this, it was basically what I said to a T so you can read that here. 

I also said the following in a gifset about V watching through the window: 

Okay but, look at her. She’s not crying, she’s observing, she’s calculating. That’s the face she makes when she’s observing and adapting. That slight raise of her head on the last gif, she’s decided her next step. Does it sting? Yeah, probably. And that’s part of her hashing out her feelings for Eve, but she’s also planning. That, to me, is far more important. She did tell him to try it with his wife, it was for a reason. 

The reoccurring theme of "you're not alone" here is perfect. This episode really strives towards letting Eve know that she has Villanelle, they're similar, and only they both understand what the other feels and thinks.

Ew V, brushing your teeth with Eve's toothbrush doesn't count as a kiss, come on. 

V is going out of her comfort zone for Eve! Look at her NOT killing someone, so endearing. And she really does struggle with it. 

V’s apartment:

"Who do you want?" Such a great question to start this episode off on because if there is something V establishes in this episode is who she is. 

She shows Eve all of these people she's been and she can be at will: change her accent, her language, her posture, her demeanor, her life story. But none of them are her and she is all of them. And part of this episode will be about just that, getting Eve to see and understand that V is not one dimensional, she is not just one thing at a time, she is complex and layered; both vulnerable and deadly all at once. 

And then there's the name: Billie - Bill. So is V doing this as her form of an apology or is it a jab? Maybe it's both. 

Eve calls Hugo Kenny, doesn't care for the mistake, is definitely detached from pretty much everyone. 

The Moscow Rules! Apply! To! Their! Dynamic! Too! I love the writing-between-the-lines going on in this episode. 

Villanelle recognizes that Carolyn is also on the spectrum. She can sense Carolyn's detachment from others, her demeanor, and (thought she doesn't know) Carolyn's inability to form lasting relationships. Even claiming she's careful about how much she loves her own son. I wonder if seeing someone like her in a different career, playing a different role, intrigues V. The possibility of a different future perhaps?

Eve are you jealous? You're no longer the "real boss", you're no longer the only one who V knows is like her. Interesting. 

The “us” scene:

Eve chose Niko BECAUSE he is normal; he works as a grounding mechanism. 

She knew when she entered their marriage that he'd never be up to snuff but stayed because she felt the pull of that darker side of her psyche. Eve is now becoming more accepting of it though, she even enjoys it. Hence why she didn't deny V's "us" comment. She's beginning to accept that part of herself. Villanelle, on the other hand, is becoming more insistent and more blunt because she sees Eve's underlying desire to break out of her shell. (Not alone, part 2)

SESSION TIME!

So many layers to this, lets dig in. 

Villanelle using Eve as her background story to spite her is gold, because yes, she uses it to provoke Eve but also because it places Eve as the patient. The counselor's reaction was super telling, expressing that Eve has constantly placed herself as a victim to those who will not comply to her whim. She is far too "up her own arse" per se, to see why Niko wants to leave her. She's focused on getting her way despite of, or even at the cost of, others, choosing to instead play the "blame game". Even better, Eve is forced to hear this herself. She hears a counselor and a group of people who have experienced mental health issues express that she's too focused on her self-pity. And while this angers her it also functions as a catalyst, forcing eve to see more and more how much she has been spiraling and that she is, indeed, part of that "us". 

And what does Eve do when confronted with this? She lashes out. If you ask me, her anger is a bit exaggerated, which tells me she's aware that V is right about her but hates having to face the reality. "...this is over...the first rule is honesty..." These lines feel like they're not about the case at all, but have an underlying meaning for Eve. And it shows given V's reaction: "You asked me to come work for you"/ "How can I be honest...?" She’s just as confused, Eve isn’t making much sense. Until things fall in line: "aren't YOU?" which Eve doesn't answer because, yes she IS, she has been playing a different person her entire life. And then Eve does it, she questions V's abilities and we see the tiniest flinch. I love V's lines here because we see her draw a line in the sand. V has lived her entire life authentically as who she truly is. She embraced her mentality and her darkness from a very early age and was not afraid to relinquish all possibility of a normal life as long as she could be true to who she was. And yet here is Eve, someone who has worked to oppress her own nature, questioning her capacity and her ability to perform something that's such a bit part of her identity. And so V places her boundaries: do not underestimate her, do not forget who she is and what she can do. And that last line. It's a jab of sorts. Eve refuses to accept her own nature, so if she wants to be normal then the only thing left interesting in her life is Villanelle. "We'll try again in the morning," Eve won't shut the door to the possibility of a different life, but she needs time. 

I don’t think Eve misses Niko, sociopathic individuals just don’t fare well with major life changes. He grounds her, she knows that, so she’s scared of what she’ll become now.

Session 2! My! Favorite!

So, once you guys get to read my full meta you'll see the breakdown of how I arrived here but for now just know I've diagnosed Villanelle with antisocial personality disorder. She's also an overt narcissist. With this in mind, let's dive in. 

V admits to an inability to be truthful but most importantly, she doesn't understand the concept of it. The why, the how. Reality, and thus truth, is so boring for her so why would she choose to delve into it more than she already has to? This is also probably why she enjoys her work, she gets to suspend her reality enough and focus on a task, serving as a distraction. She probably doesn't even enjoy her work per se, but finds it’s the only way she can allow herself to be who and how she is, as society has no place for her. 

She finds her life both boring and herself incapable of feeling anything. This lack of emotional response to any form of stimuli is a staple for people who're in the APD spectrum. It has been speculated that some people with APD aren't incapable of feeling but simply feel far too fleetingly and their emotions manifest themselves in very low levels for them to a. sense them or b. recognize them. Villanelle has self-awareness and that's a significant feat in itself. She shows a form of frustration or annoyance/displeasure at her reality. She knows there are things others feel, others experience, that she lacks and this state of not-knowing is something she can’t embrace. So she seeks anything that may arise a semblance of an emotion, however small. Her work, staring at her dying victims eyes, Eve; they're all things she chases seeking a sense of normalcy. 

I want to touch on a few details: while we must remember that V is calculative and thus this entire speech is done with the knowledge of Eve listening in so yes, ulterior motive, it is also based on V's truth. While the tears may be questionable and perhaps mostly there as a form of maintaining her appearance as a normal individual while she's undercover there are a few facial expressions that are classic V. Slight facial twitches here and there and then, what caught my attention the most, her searching eyes. "I wake up and I think 'Again? Really?'" Here her eyes search, moving from side to side, as one does when engaged in conversation. This isn't practiced or rehearsed, to me, this is a glimpse into V's mind, into thoughts she's had about her person. "I have to do this again?" And the steel eyes come in, a sense of frustration, of exhaustion, of mind-numbing boredom, takes over her features. 

Now lets take a look at Eve, she's so in-tuned with what V's saying. For one, it seems she didn't expect V to be candid after their last encounter but most importantly, she seems to recognize the sentiment. She is engrossed listening to all the things V expresses she does hoping to feel something, there is a sense of recognition, of familiarity. And this may very well be why V decided to voice such thoughts, stirring that feeling in Eve. A sort of "see? I feel this and I know you feel it too. Isn't it so dull? Isn't it exhausting?" This move is purposeful but it doesn't necessarily mean it isn't honest. (Not alone, part 3)

And then V kills the bodyguard! 

Because what does V do after she opens up every time? She deflects, she jokes, she redirects the attention to any other facet of her person BUT the tiny crack of humanity she just exhibited. Sure, on one hand it’s her way of dealing with this obstacle, in another its a way of showing Eve that she handles things her own way, and it also tells Eve "I am both. I am that person who just opened up and I am this. Accept me as I am, or not at all." We see how detached she is during the kill, how indifferent, showing how no matter what she does she can’t shake the feeling of nothingness. But let’s take a look at Eve too: there's the initial shock of surprise, the heavy breathing, and then she holds V's stare and she begins to calm. V is observing here, perhaps trying to read Eve, was this too soon? How will she take it? And then when she sees Eve cool and collected, head raised high, determined and daring, she smirks and then returns the gaze. "What if I don't really know how I feel?" Man, the soundtrack nails it. 

Lol Carolyn don't care Eve! She knew V would go rouge sometimes.

The Gemma scene! Pretty obvious its Eve being territorial and her pride being wounded but the most important part of it for me was: "Are you scared?" 

My dear Eve, are you mimicking behavior here? It's a lovely sight. It’s like when a lion cub is learning how to hunt, a bit messy but the intention is there. 

Peel's home 

"If it bored you, you must've studied it, so you can at least detail the argument for it." Interesting choice of words here from Peel, bringing back that idea of boredom. 

We can see V struggling to NOT kill someone and it's so captivating. 

Also, Amber SO loved that smack lol

And here we see Eve as her handler! 

Isn't it lovely? Look at Konstantin directing Eve, telling her to give her space, let her cool off. 

Teaching her how to manage V. 

And then we see the chase scene with the girls. Honestly, I haven't made up my mind about this scene because it feels like it's sort of a transitional scene with the next episode so it's up in the air. V obviously scares them to later show up and get them to lower their guard, allowing them to enter a state of comfort. She has a tendency to do that, manipulate a situation to lull the other person into a sense of safety only to strike or get her way. My guess is she's either going to kill those girls or sleep with them as a way to distract her from the failed mission she just walked out of. 

The previews! I'm gonna hold off on those for a bit. For now, I hope you enjoyed this until I finish the episode-by-episode analysis.

[chrsitophwaltz]

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 4/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: if you’ve read the last 3 parts, then you know the drill. i just wanna add that i don’t know how coherent this is bc writing it drained me already. i typed it straight from my garbage brain so this is obviously NOT SAFE FOR WORK. if you’re brave or thirsty enough, or have holy water at the ready, then by all means please proceed.

*matthew mcconaughey voice* alright alright alright

we’ve reached the end, folks! it’s taken me longer than i thought to put this part out. mainly because my brain still can’t comprehend that this actually happened. y’all know that feeling where something happened and you just floated right through it then a few hours later when you’re all alone it hits and destroys you like a fucking trainwreck?

yeah, that’s what it’s been like.

so to recap:

friday: the team arrived. i was positioned nicely near the bus exit and my mind, body, and soul had been buzzing and ready for that moment. i had it all well-rehearsed too: niko steps out, i scream like a banshee for his name, he comes over-- with soft hair and glorious stubble and all-- to sign my shirt and take a gazillion pics. oh, and of course i try not to faint or drool all over him. it was almost fullproof. the problem? he never stepped out. he and thiago went straight to the airport for a press conference and were never in the team bus. i was ready to unleash death right then and there.

but oh well. all hope isn’t lost. i’m gonna be five rows behind the bayern bench the next day during the game anyway. got the tickets within an hour or so after sales opened. i can thirst to my heart’s content over him and his beautiful backside for two hours. and i had this huge ass sign ready, asking for his bottle. it’s bigger and brighter than my life. he CANNOT possibly miss that, right?

saturday: game day! i’ve been buzzing the entire morning and early afternoon. today’s the day! my first time inside a football (american) stadium too. and i was kinda nervous about my sign’s debut too. what if he does see it and give me his bottle? what would i do? do i manage to keep cool or do i smash it right into my eye socket in front of him? until now i still don’t know

so we go down to the stadium. my sign was getting some attention too. people, bayern fans and madridies alike, stopped me and asked what it meant (i had to sheepishly explain to random people that yes, i am indeed asking for his bottle, and no, y’all don’t wanna know why). some guy even got it on his video camera but idk what he did with it sjdfdjkfdjkfsfs

i got settled into my seat and h o l y s h i t i was so close to the pitch and the bench! all the drama? i got it! all the shirt-changing action? i got em too! and all the angry niko antics??? best believe they’re seared into my mind forever and ever!!!!

(dare i say, with full risk of sounding like a downright whore, the man’s got real juicy buns in the back oven. like, fuck me!!!! he’s fit as fucking fuck!!!!!!!! he also loves to whistle and scream instructions and mouth off to hansi on the bench. oh, and to randomly thrust his hips like nobody’s fuckin business!!!!!!!!)

(srsly niko, why do that???? GET OFF MY DAMN NECK!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! my 17-year old sister was beside me and i had to be 110% a responsible, sane adult!!!!!!! even the guy sitting behind us eventually caught on to my thirst since he saw me filming niko the whole duration of the game sddbsjfdjfnsm)

anyway, niko LOVES to hydrate and he probably finished around 4-5 bottles of water. at one point he looked over at where i was and i’m sure as h e l l he saw my sign (it was a huge ass board). but guess what? it’s like he knew just how desperate i was and kept on sexily chugging. god fucking dammit, niko!!!!

y’all know what happened to all those bottles? NOTHING! they’re just piled up on the bench never to be used again. i was right there, niko! A CRUMB! just one fuckin crumb was all i asked for!!!!!!!!!!!! he could’ve thrown that bottle straight at my fuckin face and i would’ve THANKED him

the game ended, we won, and NO BOTTLE. a bitch was sad!!! a bitch was going STIR CRAZY!!!!! the team only had one day left before they left for kansas city. i’ve been trying to get info on how to get into the practice session so i can see him and all the boys. but of course! the training session might as well be in secret because it’s invite-only!!! even the paulaner bbq event was closed. the only events that were open were the mall meet-and-greets. but those wouldn’t have niko or the rest of the boys in them.

please bear in mind again that i decided to shell out extra just to make that one day extension happen. 

i had to see the entire team. i needed to experience niko up close. if i don’t get to do this now, then god knows when i’ll get the chance to do so again.

so, driven by desperation, i made a totally uninformed decision to go to the hotel at some random time the next day. ultimately, it was either the hotel or the carl lewis track. i figured the hotel would be a safer bet since i’d been there before and it was closer to the mall where the meet-and-greets would be (just in case the worst happened and i failed to catch them before they left for practice or wherever).

hotel or track? hotel.

what time? probably 8:30.

did i know what i was doing? absolutely fucking not.

but hey, couldn’t hurt, right? it was bonkers. truly bananas. but what choice did i have? in the end, i just wanted to be able to tell myself that i tried.

sunday:

i’ve been thinking about what to call this part. here’s some of what comes to mind:

1. crazy binch follows crazy idea and it works? it’s more likely than you think!

2. if you like it (i LOVED it) then you should’ve put a ring on it (I MCFUCKIN DID!!!!! in my head at least sksdjfksdfsdfh)

3. the day kathleen krüger probably wanted my head on a spike (and i don’t blame her)!

so the events from parts 1 and 2 happened. saw and greeted kathleen krüger in decent german. it was going pretty well. somewhere in there, during the sven/leon mishap, it finally happened. the moment that i’ve been waiting for. perfection!

*record scratch* eh, not really.

look, i’m 5′3 (and 1/2, i’m gonna insist on that). leon is 6′2. sven is about 6′3 or 6′4? anyway, y’all get it. they’re tall af.

and niko? a very sexy 5′9.

so in the haze of mortification and embarrassment brought about by the sven/leon mishap, i completely missed niko going out of the hotel. the binch literally had to be positioned in between sven and leon and all the other tall german people milling around the hotel. my ass had been on alert for him nearly the entire week (and let’s be real, for months) and when the moment finally presented itself, it completely flew over my head. i nearly ruined my own damn plan.

thankfully though, i’d been chatting with the bayern staff earlier and they knew that i’d been waiting this whole time to meet niko. i wondered out loud, “ugh, when is niko gonna show up he’s usually one of the earlier ones” and the guy in the red audi fcb tour polo shirt frowned and said “what? he literally just went out. didn’t you see him?”

my world literally stopped. i wanted to slap myself. my ears were ringing.

niko, already out? how could i have missed him? had he already gone up the bus???

i literally did a 360 so fast i gave myself whiplash and saw through the glass doors the man i’d been waiting forever for. he was clad in his blue coach kit of shirt and shorts. i could also swear he was glowing like an angel (probably bc of the bright sun or the product of my thirst-addled brain, idk).

there was another problem, though: he wasn’t stopping. he was going straight for the bus. and his leggies were f a s t.

and where was i? still frozen in shock inside the freaking hotel!!!!

i’m not the fastest person in the world but man, adrenaline really does work wonders! thank goodness my brain chose that moment to regain its function and spurred my body into motion. with no fucks left to give, i ran full tilt through the throng of people leisurely heading out, past the security guards who looked at me like i was insane (i was), out of the hotel and into the courtyard where there were about 50 or so fans behind the barriers who had gathered to catch a glimpse of the team.

it was like everything was in slow-mo. there was kathleen, patiently standing near the bus door and taking inventory of the players and staff before they leave. and there was niko, with literally one foot lifted to go up the first step into the bus.

my brain did a quick calculation. even with adrenaline, he’d already be up and inside the bus by the time i get to where he was. they may have let me inside the hotel, but i knew the bus was off limits. i had to stop him before he’s out of reach. and i knew that if i missed him, then that would be the absolute last time i’d see him in houston. that was my last chance.

i already had one foot dipped into the proverbial pool of shame. i was vaguely aware that i had the hotel staff stationed near the door and some fans looking at me bc of my marathon sprint antic. why not just take the full plunge, right?

so i did the only thing i could do to stop him: i screamed for him. throat open, full diaphragm, lungs out screamed: “NIKO! NIKO PLEASE!” my voice and the desperation that it was absolutely dripping with echoed within the walls of the hotel entrance.

i don’t even know the others’ reaction to that anymore, and i don’t really wanna know. all i know was that it worked! he stopped and turned around to look. and god was he. so. beautiful!!!

overjoyed that he paused, i ran straight towards him. there was a body in front of me that i barely dodged in my haste and i belatedly realized it was the team photographer taking shots of the departure. i nearly bowled him over and destroyed his expensive camera but thankfully i somehow managed to do a the matrix-esque maneuver and ducked under his arms and up again straight back to niko. the look on my face must’ve been shocking and horrific (i bet) because as i zoomed in on niko, i saw poor kathleen just behind him, still near the bus door, go tense with her eyes as big as saucers.

look, i understand. if i were the team manager of a popular football team, and some woman was running straight for one of my charges, with A Certain Look on her face, and with the bus door wide open, i’d be worried af. she probably thought i was gonna attack niko (somewhat true, but not in the way she thought...or was it?) and/or infiltrate the team bus. my intentions were pure (ish), of course, but my face didn’t reflect that.

the Queen knew martial arts and could’ve karate-kicked me off the face of the earth and away from niko, but she didn’t. so thank you, kathleen. and i apologize.

safe from kathleen’s wrath (for now), i turned my full attention to niko. i was finally in front of him!!!!! my dream had finally come true!!!!!!!!!!!

my brain and my soul were trying to leave my body and i wasn’t really 100% percent in the moment, but even with the little presence of mind i had left it was too much to bear. niko looked a bit perplexed, like i might attack him or something (with the way i looked, ran, and shouted like an animal i totally get it), but still managed to look relaxed, open, and friendly. he looked at me expectantly and i felt my mouth move to ask for an autograph and my hands give him my cardboarded jersey and sharpie. i wasn’t in control of my body anymore but thank god it knew exactly what i wanted.

niko, a true angel sent down from the heavens above, gracefully took my shirt and sharpie. i’m pretty sure my mouth was wide open and probably had some drool hanging off, and i could feel kathleen’s stare boring holes into the side of my head. as he was signing it, my last few brain cells were roasting.

his hair was soft and ungelled, and was damp (he looked like he recently just came out of the shower) and as his head was bent down, That Stray Lock of Hair flopped into his forehead. it nearly made me pass tf out!!! the sun was also shining brightly and his stubble was already silvery (thanks to bayern’s season of clownery!) so when the light caught it, it literally shone. each strand was literally p e r f e c t i o n. perfect length, perfect texture (from the looks of it; i didn’t dare touch no matter how much i wanted to bc thankfully i still had one fragile shred of dignity left, and i’m sure kathleen would’ve brought out the shotgun), perfect everything. i was about to have a coronary right then and there.

i’ve thought a lot about what i wanted to say to him if i did get the chance to meet him and talk to him. i remembered all the highs and lows of last season and as he finished signing my shirt, i thanked him and said “good luck, niko. and don’t listen to everything they say; you’ll always have people to stand behind you and the team no matter what.” at least that’s what i thought i said. i don’t really remember bc i was half spaced out. but i must’ve said something to that effect bc he looked up from what he was doing and gave me a big, and dare i say, relieved (?), smile. god, his eyes. they were so green. and soft. and really, really kind.

he was probably surprised that i said that to him, what with my earlier crazed stunt. but of course, ever the gentleman, he said “thank you so much” G O D!!!! HIS ACCENT!!!!! if you haven’t heard him speak in english yet, or just speak at all, now’s the time to google that shit. it’s deadly af on video, but goddamn, like everything else about him in person, it’s truly something else live.

mercifully, when he gave me back my shirt and pen, i still had enough life left in me to ask for a picture before i finally passed out. i never would’ve forgiven myself if i forgot!!!

me: thanks again, niko. is it alright if we take a picture?

niko: sure, of course! (god i love him; also, he loves to say “of course” for some reason sjkdhfdfjsdkfh)

so i had my shirt and sharpie in my left hand, and was trying to work my phone with my right hand. niko sidled up real close to my left side and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. he was so warm. and his arm was f i r m. he was leaning really close and my brain was short-circuiting from trying to memorize every single detail and trying to work my phone camera.

(note: my lock screen is niko drenched in beer after they won the bundesliga. thankfully, i turned off my phone’s auto lock just the night before. imagine if he saw me trying to unlock my phone with his wet self plastered on my screen. i never would’ve survived the shame.)

as i was skin on skin with niko, my organs were literally failing. my hands were shaking and sweating, and my camera just. wouldn’t. set. on. photo. it went to video, to slow mo, to god knows what else. it was already getting embarrassing and i was mumbling apologies to niko bc i was sure i’d already taken more than enough of his time. and i haven’t forgotten that kathleen was still there! still staring at us, at me, and witnessing every single mortifying thing!!!!

niko, literally heaven itself incarnate, was so patient though and just chuckled. oh. fuck. me. his chuckle. y’all know his voice is deep af, right? and you know that certain r a s p that comes with it. well, fuck. he did this deep ass raspy chuckle that went straight down to my loins!!!!! christ on a bike!!!! my inner whore was literally about to jump out!!!!! i’ve fantasized about hearing it in person for so long but jesus fucking christ I WASN’T READY. ALL THIS TIME AND MY BODY STILL WASN’T READY!!!! AND I’M DAMN SURE IT WILL NEVER BE READY!!!!!!!!! NO ONE IS READY FOR THIS ATTACK!!!!!!!!

g o d. anyway, he finally took pity on me. he chuckled (i’m on the brink of death here!!!) and reached for my phone to help me take the goddamn photo. he set it on photo (freaking finally, thanks niko) and we posed for the photo. hell, he was so close again. while i tried to smile and look somehow decent, i just had to take away as much detail as i could before we parted.

1. i already said this, but his h a i r. so soft. and houston was freaking humid. while mine was literally about to turn into a bird’s nest from the humidity, the man just couldn’t look fugly if he tried!!! he literally had NO FRIZZ. damn niko, tell me your secret!

2. his stubble was SO CLOSE. every strand? PERFECTION. no words could adequately describe it. and holy shit, his jawline and cheekbones. if i touched it i could literally lacerate my goddamn hand. and he had no pores??? fucking sexy cryptid

3. his c h u c k l e (he wasn’t chuckling anymore, but that shit stays with you till the end of time)

4. HIS S C E N T.

okay. i have a scent kink. i know. TMI. like this whole write up is one big banner for too much fuckin information. but holy shit. HOLY S H I T. until now i still don’t know how to fully describe, and i probably never will succeed in fully conveying what it was truly like (and if my brain embellished some of it; i was really too far gone to know anything anymore), but fuck. f u c k. he wasn’t wearing perfume or cologne, i’m sure of that. nothing too artificial that stood out to my nostrils. probably bc they were going to train under the houston sun and spritzing was wasted and unnecessary. but remember that he was fresh from the shower, so that was basically his main scent. it was very nice, very crisp, very clean. basically, sexy as hell. classy. panty-melting!!!! hell, i don’t know!!!! you know what i mean!!! idk if it’s from the hotel toiletries (if it was, good job post oak hotel!) or if it’s his own (then i need to know niko! what products do you use???). but yeah. clean and crisp. d***y supreme.

and there was also something else. it must’ve been his natural scent. and god. GOD!!!! a bit woodsy (?) and quite sweet. i’ll stop there before i say something that REALLY crosses the line.

so my thumb moves, and we take the photo. ONE FREAKING PHOTO. that’s all i managed. i wasn’t able to look at it until my uber ride to the mall later on, and i really would’ve liked more to take with me and stare at when i’m....lonely. but it was magically HDR, and i looked passable. and niko. again: perfection!!!! now that i know what he’s like in the flesh, nothing else will ever come close. but this does come quite close.

after the photo was taken, i manage to squeak out another “thanks.” niko smiled again (kill me one last time, why don’t you) and squeezed my arm lightly before saying goodbye and finally going up the bus. kathleen could breathe a sigh of relief now.

i don’t know how long i stood there. surely not that long since i still got to take pics with serge, manu, and lewy. but it did feel like forever and i haven’t shaken myself out of it. as i’m writing this, exactly one week later after it happened, i still haven’t shaken myself out of it. i don’t think i ever could.

i’m just thankful to whichever deity made this happen. my houston trip was finally complete (i haven’t met everyone yet at that point, but i just somehow knew deep inside that it would all work out). i got what i came for and more. my extension was not only worth it, but completely priceless. i’ll treasure this whole day and that little moment i got with niko for the rest of my life. that’s for sure.

just to end this, i just wanna say something. i know this was one whole crazy and thirsty post, but seriously. he’s a really nice man. a good man. it wasn’t for more than a few minutes at most, but it felt like forever in my mind. and in that short moment, i just knew he tries his best. i’m a true blue niko stan but even i know he made mistakes. i’m clearheaded enough to acknowledge that. but he tries, and he succeeded. and no matter how calm and cool and collected he always appears to be, you can still see how much it all affects him. hell, he literally grayed in front of our eyes in less than a year. his eyes were a little less bright at the end of the season as compared to his presentation last july. when i gave him that little message of support, i literally saw the relief in his eyes and how much he appreciated it. he and the team have been through quite the ordeal last season, and there are no guarantees it will be easier this time around.

you don’t have to like him, you know. but please. a little basic human respect still goes a long way.

there, i said my piece. and it’s done! thank you, fc bayern, for being so nice and game and all-around wonderful. thank you, kathleen krüger, for staying calm long enough to let me have my moment with niko. and thank you, niko, just for being... you. now here’s the ONE picture i’ll treasure for the rest of my life:

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 47

Title & Song: Snap Out Of it

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Word Count:  3300+

Summary: Genevieve tries to get back in touch with her family’s roots. Alfie suffers as she explores domesticity. 

Warnings/Tags: Language. Angst.

**Chapter song is Snap Out Of It by Arctic Monkeys*

Positive feedback is MUCH appreciated! Reblogs, likes, asks and comments feed me to write more! Let me know if you’d like tagged in my work.

My Masterlist. (Includes Parts 1-46)

You didn't remember the last time you'd been so covered in sweat. You could feel it run from your hairline, where your hair rested atop your head, braided and pinned, wrapped in a scarf that held your long, wild tresses together. You're bent over the stove, the heat and steam from cooking the cause of your sweat. With under a month left before Hanukkah, and this being the first, you'd been practicing. You'd gotten out your bubbe's old book's, finding the recipe's in them and trying to dig through your brain for memories of anything that your mother's family or your nurse Ida might've shared with you about the traditional dishes for the holiday. You didn't have much to go off of, but you were feeling invigorated to explore a part of yourself that had been forbidden.

You'd never been expected to cook as a married woman when you were growing up. You'd had lots of training to be a prize wife. You'd been taught an instrument, all the proper dances, etiquette and worldly conversation that should be expected of a Lady. But because of the expectation that you'd be married off to someone wealthy, you hadn't been taught to do much for yourself.

Luckily for you, your mother and your uncle would never allow a daughter that took after them so much to be so useless should she find herself alone. Taking after the rebellious streak that your mother had always told you came from your uncle, you'd never been one to do as you were told. After your lessons you'd run off to the barn, you'd fence with your brothers or learn cards and gambling from the farm hands that seemed to find your interest very amusing. And you, a black sheep, look just like the rest of the Lafitte's, dark hair, dark eyes and olive toned skin,  looking perfectly in place amongst them in your family's summer house in France as you nipped sips of rum from your cousins as it was passed around the room.

You have some of Alfie's white rum uncorked on the countertop, humming old songs to yourself as you'd take a sip and lean back when the heat became too much.

He follows the smell of fried food to the kitchen, finding the last thing he expected to see there...you. Your hair pulled back and covered as if you were married, a modest and simple cotton dress that swung back and forth as you moved light on your toes about the kitchen.

"What's all this now?" he says with an amused face.

"Just a moment darling...don't want these to burn," you say in an almost mumble as you moved a pan off the flames.  "There we are," you say with a deep breath and a smile as you wipe your hands and approach him. "I'm cooking, silly what does it look like?" you grin at him, placing a light kiss on his cheek before moving to wet a washcloth and wipe over your face. "How was your day?" you ask, taking a drink from one of his bottles of rum.

"As busy as yours, it would seem." he says with a gravelly inflection, eyes darting around the kitchen. It'd been a very long and particularly hard day full of annoyance and fighting desperately to control his anger. The head of the Greeks, Demitri was growing older, and becoming more and more difficult to deal with each time they had to work together. He wasn't the only powerful man in London to think that it was time he was put out to pasture, letting his son Niko take over as he was less ill-tempered and had a better mind for modern business.

After growing tired of arguing over every line of the contract, Demitri showing no signs of negotiation at all, Alfie had told him to fuck off. To come back when he wanted to do some fucking business and not waste his time. Demitri took to that about as well as one could expect an old head of an organization to.

So his day had been much harder than he was letting on, but he knew you'd worked with the Greeks, no use in whining about things that you already understood. Not like it would enlighten either of you to anything at this point to discuss it.

As you lean on the kitchen island, giving him a warm and supportive smile that said you understood his problems, his brief moment of indulgence in seeing you playing the role of a perfect little housewife is broken into pieces, remembering himself and finding it hard to meet your eyes. Not only were you keeping house, making dishes his mother would make, he could tell there were latkes by the smell, you also understood him on a level no woman had before. You understood his business. You understood the men he worked with and for and no other man in the life had that. All the wives were kept mostly locked in ivory towers, shielded from their own helplessness and ignorance so they could be a bed warmer for gangsters when they decided to leave their mistresses for the night and come home to the woman who'd born them children. He hadn't judged their behavior, they were gentile men, after all, only a step above an animal. He knew he was truly not much better than them and didn't deserve a goddess that understood him in the way you did.

"From the look of your eyes and the redness on your neck your's was far worse." you say, that same knowing your eyes. He couldn't hide from you. If he tried you'd just find him in his dreams, wouldn't you?

"Is there a holiday that I've forgotten about?" he changes the subject and you give him a half smile, letting it slide and moving back to the stove.

"I'm practicing for Hanukkah." you chirp. "I've never cooked for it before and I wanted to try out my Bubbe's old recipes."

"Smells proper good, luv." he says looking over your shoulder.

"I have Latke's, there's brisket in the oven, challah's proofing and there's borsht simmering back here." you lift a lid to a large pot of bubbling red liquid.

"Borscht?" he says in a funny exasperated way.

"Yes, Ida used to make it for me when I was a child. She used her mother's recipe and I pieced together Russian recipes I found and what I had of my own Bubbe's notes on it to put it together."

His mother had made Borscht when he and his siblings were young. It was as if he would only turn his head he'd see his mother with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed and foot tapping in disappointment at him. 'She's making Borscht, Alfred. She's the perfect woman for you, you silly boy. You let your tired, old mother down in your denial of this fact. God will punish you for scorning the match he's sent you.' is what he guesses she'd say. Wouldn't even have to say it thought would she? He could hear it in the way she'd look at him. And he knew she was right, but he deserved any bit of punishment that came his way.

"Was your mother ever allowed to cook like this?"

"No...but there were many Jewish members of her personal staff so I'm sure there were dishes she and I had that no one else got."

"Why'd she only share it with you?"

"My other siblings don't know they're Jewish." you say with an odd little smirk.

"Ah..." he says, a thoughtful look on his face.

"I found out by accident. I used to sneak and hide constantly as a child, I was in the wrong place at the right time one night and heard my father shouting at mother when she asked about my Uncle taking me to Paris with him. The words he called her...and him." you shake your head and sigh. "Much like what Sabini's been known to call us," you say softly. "I told her I knew, and it upset her. She didn't speak to me for some time. I know now she just didn't know what to do with the information. She eventually told my uncle I knew, he said it was inevitable really...that I was too much like them to not be directed towards the truth."

"Too much like them?"

"The rest of my siblings don't look like me. They're fair and light-haired, look like my father. But I look like my mother's side of the family. So you can imagine how this constant reminder of their resilence through his bloodline infuriated him. Of course, I was the least favorite, took most of the blame and punishment whether it was my fault or not." you shrug with indifference and it hurts him deep down to see it was so commonplace that it didn't even scar you in the way that it should have. "I think if he had known the name Channah was Jewish he wouldn't have let her name me that on top of coming out looking the way I do." you give an amused little snort.

"Your name's not Genevieve? Are we back to this again?" he smirks.

You laugh and shake your head. "Genevieve is, my middle name is Channah." you explain with a wave of your hand and small flecks of liquid fly off the spoon in it. "My uncle always told me I was different. Never really knew what he meant by that until now. Other siblings don't have Jewish middle names but my mother did sneak in commonplace names for my sisters."

"Is your uncle still alive?" he pries.

"Oh yes, nothing can kill that man." you laugh, a happy smile across your face. "I spoke to him over the phone recently, actually."

"Ah, so your father can't keep you two away from each other, eh?"

"No one has ever or will ever tell that man what to do." you wear a big grin on your face and he's happy for it, relieved that you at least had some sort of proper father figure in your life. He could see the love you had for the man in your eyes as you spoke of him.

"Not even you?" he gives you a smirk.

"Not even me." you grin.

"You still close?" he inquires, leaning back against the countertop as you prodded away at the latkes.

"Yes. He lives in Paris, so I don't get to see him often but he's who I go to when I need advice."

"Didn't take you for someone who sought after other's opinions in such a way." his tone wasn't condescending but merely observant.

"He's a very successful man, I'd be a fool not to utilize the knowledge he has. He is mostly responsible for my getting into theft after all." you laugh.

"That so?" he asks, his interest piqued.

"I had cousins that were active in the crime world of Paris growing up. They'd come to our house if they were injured sometimes. It'll really awake something in you seeing a man shot and screaming on your kitchen counter when you're young." you huff out a laugh. "I got an early start with understanding the harm that could come from living such a way. It was much, much later when I got into anything of any real substance though." you wrinkle your nose as if this was also commonplace. He could see where your composed nature amidst chaos came from.

"Sounds like that influence worked out in your favor then, eh?"

"Oh yes. My uncle never scolded me for wanting to get into the life, which was a great relief as you can imagine."

"Oh, I'd say so."

"He has an approach similar to yours, really." you shoot him a charming smile.

"Really now? What's that?"

"I mean he doesn't think of a woman as beneath him. He always told me I could do anything, and I honestly think he really believes that bless him." you give a happy little sigh. "I bet he'd really like you actually." you turn to look at him from over your shoulder and he gives a curt nod in understanding. "You've never been disrespectful, he'd appreciate that." you give him a small smile and turn back to the stove. You don't see his face fall at your words. "And my mother! Oh my goodness my mother!" you let out a laugh. "I've made sure she doesn't know about us sleeping together because bless her, she'd be worse than Aggie about us getting together." you let out another laugh. "I'm sure you know how mothers can be though." you shrug and smirk.

"Find yourself a nice Jewish girl, Alfred. God knows you can't look after yourself," he smirks. "Then there's the opposite side of the coin with, no one will ever be good enough for my perfect son. Which is such a bold faced lie." he laughs.

"My mother would faint if I came home with a Jewish man." you smile at first and it quickly fades and both of your chests settle with a throbbing ache within them. You wouldn't get to ever bring anyone home to meet her.

He knows you've gone an upset yourself, he sees your shoulders slump and your face fall, eyes blinking back possible tears. He quickly changes the conversation. "But she'd be proud of you for cookin' all 'is I imagine, yeah?"

"Oh yes." he sees you take a deep breath and carry on. "She'd be very impressed." you nod.

"I mean...I'm impressed. That Kugel you made was brilliant, luv but I'm proper excited about that brisket." he points to the oven.

"Well, it'll all be ready for dinner soon. Just have to throw the bread in as I let the brisket rest."

"I am glad I'm getting to try to your Hanukkah menu early though..." his voice trails off and he crosses his arms across his chest.

"Oh? Why's that?" you lilt.

"Well I'll be spending it with my sisters, the extended family 'n all." he hadn't wanted to say 'my family' so it would upset you.

You hadn't thought about it, you realized you were assuming too much that he'd be spending it with you. Of course, he'd be with his family. You would be if you'd had that sort of option.

He waits for a response, he can see the wheels turning in your head. "Well that makes perfect sense." you shake your head, tone indifferent so he knows you're hiding emotion. "Good thing I decided to do this then." you turn and give him a small smile before returning to the potato cakes in the sizzling pan. --- Dinner was great, the best meal he'd had in ages but of course, it was. If it hadn't been he would've been truly surprised, as you were only hitting every mark that he'd ever set for a companion so why wouldn't you also have been a good cook? He wonders if there was anything you couldn't do? It seems as if you applied yourself to something you'd succeed and what a charming trait that was.

It doesn't dawn on him why everything you made for him was so good, at least until Aggie interjects with a "Her cookings so delicious because it's made with love." Causing the involuntary reaction for you to both glance at each other, not expecting to find the other looking as both your face show the surprise and embarrassment at such a sentiment. ---- Luckily you get distracted and fall asleep with a book in your hands in your bed, leaving him to be able to relax for a few hours and get some sleep. But of course his conscious has other plans. After learning more about your family, your eagerness to explore this part of yourself he'd had a funny feeling in his stomach the entire time. If he wasn't holding himself back from exploring his feelings for you further, he's sure he'd be in your bed tonight, taking in every bit of you he could, being amazed at his good fortune.

But instead he's alone, face set in an angry frown, scratching at his spots again, staring at the ceiling with his bloodshot eyes. He never compromised, that was a certain thing he held about himself. He didn't want to compromise his rule for himself here either. All the men that had come along into Camden, any who were not Jewish, and some that were he'd told them to never touch any Jewish woman, they were off limits to them entirely. Since he'd broken his rule of even going near them, as he had been...exceptionally close with you he'd already broken his rule, hadn't he? But ignorance isn't something to use as an excuse after the fact in his mind. It might be when it came to sin but he would never consider anything involving you to be called as such. It came down to you being Jewish and whether he knew that or not when this started, it didn't matter did it?

And the things he'd done to you. The thing's he'd said. He could strike himself for it now. He'd slapped you, choked you and used you in ways that now made him feel so guilty he squeezed his eyes shut. And he'd enjoyed it more than any other sexual excursion he'd taken before. This thought only followed by more guilt. He'd never treat you that way now, he thought. And it dawns on him that he never will again. Before you'd confided in him, it was all about the sex. Which was something you, as an adult woman had agreed to and that was perfectly fine with him.

But now that he knew...the thought of a future with you wasn't something that he'd really sat down and considered before. He was just letting the cards fall where they may, letting you decide where it went or ended as he saw it as you being the one doing him a favor in the first place. And after the dinner tonight, after learning your favorite inspirations from the Torah, seeing you the perfect image of a wife, he couldn't help but have the thought of marrying you cross his mind. He swears at himself for even indulging in the fantasy, because Jewish or not that's what that would've been wasn't it? Only a fantasy.

The worst part he was finding, as it came to him frequently when he was alone was that he didn't want to stop sleeping with you. He didn't want to stop holding you as you fell asleep and helping you get in and out of your fancy dresses. He didn't want you running at him with bright eyes over some ridiculous idea or story you'd heard to end. He didn't want to see your eyes look at him without that adoration that they currently held for him. He just did not want to quit you in any way. And as much as he tried to wrestle with his principles, telling himself no just made it worse. Telling himself he couldn't, as childish as he felt the reaction was, made him want you even more. Because now the thoughts of falling in love and having a future together were in his head where they hadn't been before. This deep urge that he'd never felt, this pull to you no matter how he tried to reason with himself against it was the most concerning thing he'd come across. He'd never had this problem before, being in control of himself or his thoughts. And wasn't it so fitting that a goddess such as yourself would be the one to make a fool of him?

Pt 48 Running Up That Hill

@fangirlfreakingout @jaegeeeeer @cosettewinchester @lookuptheskyisfalling-blog @brianaisasongbird @cry5t4l-w4rri0r @iliveonchocolateandnetflix @jess2464 @hardygal69 @thegarrisonpublichouse @a-flock-of-angry-pigeons @pootle @negansdirtygirl22 @musingsby-night @wtf-is-wrong-with-this @shine-dont-shadow @inkinterrupted @vale0413 @lafayettes-baguettes-1 @sxlomons @aphnxrising @emerald-bijou

[thorwaldhq]

Summary: Claire begins to have a recurring nightmare. These are all depictions of characters through her subconscious and imagination. Basically, I wanted to have it written out once so I don’t have to keep writing it over and over and over again each time it happens. Warnings: death, blood, guns, stabbing, dismemberment.  Characters Mentioned: @ofbandits @camxhuynh @sarpelui @micahz @silentkept @wrathfillcd @bencvolentways (also including both Aaron and Claire’s parents) All playable characters mentioned do not have any written dialogue.

(you can find a TL;DR at the bottom)

A small string orchestra plays sickeningly sweet music that sounds all too light and airy for Claire’s taste. While she can’t exactly put her finger on what the song is called, she knows it is far too fantastical and mushy for a wedding between two people who have practically fought tooth and nail to get to this day. She looks at herself in the mirror and blames her pure nerves on the fact that it all seems like a big white blur to her. She can feel it hugging her body tightly, as though it were keeping her from gliding off the floor and floating down the aisle. 

Claire hears Cam’s voice doing what was usually the redhead’s job during important dates and events; micro-managing everyone and everything. Dressed in a haze of pastel pink, she walks up to Claire and merely touches her shoulder, probably the only thing she could do without disturbing her hair and make up. She mutters something inaudible, yet the words go straight to Claire’s heart as she already begins to feel a sweep of happiness and anxious anticipation falling over her. 

After Cam makes her big entrance into the ceremony, it is Rigel who enters to see Claire next, looking like he had just heard the sweetest words in the world from someone out there before coming to see her blushing face accompanied by her thundering heart. Claire cannot possibly comprehend why she feels so anxious even more so now, because that look of comfort on his face should have settled every last nerve as he practically slapped the sense back into her. Yet she feels heavy at the same time. It doesn’t go away once he enters into the ceremony next.

The cheesy music changes a bit as she can hear from the room where she waits to make her grand entrance, but the room feels so empty and cold now. Perhaps it’s because the window is open, causing the white sheer curtains to dance with the wind. One big gust of wind nearly ruins Claire’s perfect up-do, and then she feels a warm hand on her upper back near her left shoulder blade. 

“It’s like looking at my mother’s wedding photos come to life...” a deep, warm voice says.

Claire immediately spins around to see the face of a man with thinning hair and stubble on his face, a smile brighter than the sun itself, everything about him was warmer than anything she had previously experienced, which meant that this could only be one man.

“Dad...” she sighed as though it were from complete relief. She frowned at herself, wondering why she didn’t sound more surprised that her father, who has been dead for years, showed up just in time to walk her down the aisle, “I didn’t think you’d make it...” 

“Why?” he asked, sounding a little sad that she’d even ask such a thing, “No matter where I’m coming from, I wouldn’t miss this day for anything...” He turns her gently with his hands until he looks at her in her dress up and down, “Did you know that the happiest wedding I ever attended was-.”

“I know, dad,” Claire said with a playful roll of her eyes, “Grandma’s wedding with grandpa. You always said they looked so happy and in love in their photos that anyone who looked at them could swear they felt like they were there, like their love was so... alive and thriving.” Her father chuckled before he sighs, kissing his daughter on her forehead. “Hey! I’ve still got make up on!” 

He laughed harder, the boom of it could have shook the whole building, “I am so proud of you, my seraph... you picked a good one.”

The mention of Aaron flooded her with joy, seeing his smile in everything, the way his eyes lit up when he saw her, thinking about how happy they were going to be for the rest of the day and for the months to follow as they dwelled in the newly wed glow. “I don’t know... sometimes I feel like he picked me... and then he dusted me off and... he saved me.”

Her father looks at her for a moment, sniffing and wiping away a tear from his face. “Come along,” he quickly says afterwards, holding out his arm to her, “Let’s get this show on the road before your bother gets tired of waiting and leaves.”

Claire stands completely still, “Can’t we wait 5 more minutes?”

He laughs, shamefully shaking his head as he tugs her forward towards the double doors that soon open up to a large venue covered in white. The ceilings were white, the chairs, the flowers, the aisle. Everything was bathed in purity and happiness. Hints of pink and mint green peppered in different places as if they were beginning to create a collage on a big canvas.

And at the very end, there he was, looking so handsome that Claire could abandon all tradition and just jump right into his arms, loathing the long walk she would have to slowly take. So she looks at him long enough to get his full attention on her face after he’s done gawking at her dress. That’s when she mouths ‘i love you’ to him, followed by an ear-to-ear smile. His lips part to say it back when, suddenly, the sound of footsteps unfamiliar to her own that she makes against the floor. She looks over towards the groom’s side and finds his mother and father, rushing along the sidelines. 

Claire tries to grip onto her father for security, but he has vanished. In shock, she nearly falls back, but she is caught by Niko, whom she hadn’t even seen anywhere until that moment. His face is stern, stoic, unassuming. He tries to drag her away, tries to stand in front of her, tries to shield her eyes from what’s about to happen, yet Claire can’t help but scream at the top of her lungs. She looks from guest to guest, seeing Tas and Bash standing in front of their chairs, their hands simply folded in front of them as they watch Aaron’s parents grab onto him and drag him away.

“Aaron!!!” Claire screams, though it feels like no air is leaving her lungs. She chokes on the words, coughing as she falls to her knees, Niko gently guiding her down into a pool of her own tears. She can see Aaron trying to fight against the pull, one hand reaching out towards her. She reaches back only to see Aaron cry out in pain while Claire’s mother seems to appear from thin air, using a blade to cut off his hand. He screams in agony and Claire feels the pain as if it were her very own. She tries to pick herself up off the ground, but it feels like the air is pushing her back, the ground pulling her deeper and deeper in. Yet she fights back anyway as tears fall down her face, as she keeps screaming. 

Niko tries to reach out for her again, but she barely escapes his grasp, feeling like as though she’d just swam a thousand miles just to finally reach Aaron’s body, her tears falling onto his white shirt and staining like blood. She looks up and sees his father holding a gun and pointing it directly at Aaron. 

“No!!” she cries out, throwing her body over Aaron’s. And then there’s a boom and everything goes dark.

When the vision comes back, civilians are being chased after and run down by Savages, Lion heads blazing all over the place. Chaos ensuing, though it’s all white noise to Claire as she is held back, once again, by Niko. A blur of red finally comes into focus and she sees Aaron with a bullet in his chest. She screams again and again and again and again. “Let go of me!!!” she shouts at Niko, though he doesn’t yield as the smoking gun still remains in Aaron’s father’s hand as he looks over his son’s body. 

“He made his choice,” someone’s voice says, though Claire can’t seem to make it out. She doesn’t know if it came from any one particular person, though it could have been anyone as each and every Cobra in attendance stands as on-lookers. 

“Help him!!” she screams again. She tries to run to Rigel, but he also stands as still as a statue next to Cam. “Someone, please help my husband!!!!” she cries as every single part of her body falls heavy and weak, causing her to fall to the ground again, landing in a pool of Aaron’s blood. “He’s dying!!” she hears the sound of his scattered breathing, as though he’s about to draw his last. “Let me go!” she begs again, only to feel like she was practically thrown into the direction of Aaron, but by the time she is able to lay a hand on his body, it has gone cold. His chest is covered in blood and Claire’s dress is thoroughly soaked in his, the redness seeping all the way up her hands.

“Help me! Please, help me!” she sobs as she touches his hand, a silver band now appears over his ring finger. Claire can feel the presence of all of those people who just stare mindlessly at her. She tucks her hands under Aaron’s body and holds it close to her, hugging him, begging for the chance to say goodbye, for him to open his eyes, for him to come back to her. Yet no one is helping. Everyone is watching. They let him die. Everyone had at least one chance to save him and none of them took it.

And now... thanks to the people she hates the most, combined with the people she loves the most... her true love is dead and the evidence lies cold and lifeless in her arms, never able to hold her back again. It’s a betrayal and heartache that she can barely take all at once, and so she does the only thing she can do. She lets out a scream so loud, that it shatters the windows, causing colorful glass to cut each and every person who stood by and watched as Aaron died. That scream rings through all of Valdez, so everyone knows what has happened on this day.

It is that scream that carries her as her eyes open wide, feeling like thunder as she looks into the night sky that rests in the thickness of reality. Her eyes are wet and the tears are immediately released once they’ve opened. While it was only a nightmare, Claire still clutched the sheets tightly in her fist, fearing and praying that this could be one dream that would never, ever come true.

TL;DR: It’s Claire and Aaron’s wedding day and it’s super sappy! Her dad is there and she’s really happy, but she gets literally halfway down the aisle when it gets pretty bad. Her mom chops off his hand and his dad shoots him while the Savages chase after the civilian guests and the Cobras kinda just chill and watch Aaron bleed out and die. She wakes up crying and screaming a bit. Poor Claire.

[whippedkoalas]

I totally agree with your analysis in William. You made really good points such as we never saw him properly drunk. Also maybe the role of being a leader of the Penetrators was a shield for William not showing his true self to people. Both him and Noora are afraid to let people close, but when they did, they became different people. William is so soft when he is with Noora, something people who only knew him as school king may have difficulty to believe, this may also apply to their friends. 1/2

2/2 I was so impressed how he handled Noora’s anxiety. Made her feel safe and made sure she knew there was nothing to be shamed about, he just stayed there and kept her close. It was a beautiful scene. I believe they will be fine, they have both changed so much, matured so much and trust on each other and their relationship. I would love to read you analysis on Noora as well. Thank you for the short stories!

Thank you!On William - basically, yes. Look, I have to say this first. A lot of people despise Penetrators’ behaviors/fuckboy tendencies, I personally, don’t. In my opinion, they’re teenagers who have a lot of (consensual) sex. Great for them. Should they be more careful? Yes. (The girls too, might I add). They got hoodies with their names on it. Is it dumb? The dumbest idea ever. Should they make sure the girls know it’s just a one night stand? Maybe but even Vilde tells N she knew what to expect. Should they give those hoodies to the girls they had sex with? I may be alone to think that but why not? Nobody is pressuring girls to wear that hoodie. Sara hooked up with Chris and William at least and we never saw her in the hoodie, same with Eva and Iben. Like, to me, if a girl wants to wear a hoodie where it’s written clearly that she had sex with a boy, I don’t see the problem. If someone at Nissen wanted to get ALL the hoodie and wear a different one each day of the week, I mean, why not? Everyone at school knows what it means - so what? Go, girl.  So, I don’t think the Penetrators are the smartest cookies out there and I think they do questionable things but from what we saw about them, I don’t think they’re terrible.The thing is - I’m pretty sure William’s reputation doesn’t come from him but from Niko. He’s treated like he’s just like his older brother. So I think his status in school was earned pretty quickly, he just had to shag a few girls to keep his reputation. (In s1, when Eva tries to talk with the older girls one of them says something about William being the reason there was a chlamydia epidemic in their first year, but their boss says that it wasn’t William. And, like, what does Chris says her sister tells her about Niko in Stockholm? Ding Ding. Whether the story about W is true or not, it shows he’s the center of a lot of rumors and that people expect the two brothers to be alike - which sounds like a nightmare for W, imo. )So, yeah I think being the Penetrators boss is just … easy. It’s exactly what people expect from him. Throwing epic parties, shagging a girl or two, organizing Russ, rinse, repeat.  Enters Noora, who doesn’t give a shit if he’s popular or not and calls him out and he falls in love instantly. I would even say that he was waiting for someone to do that. He shows her the real William and this is why she has a bit of trouble at first, too. Penetrator!William is not the William she knows. About Noora’s anxiety, oh man. If only we knew why he knew what to do! Either he’s got anxiety himself, or someone he knows has got anxiety (my bet is that Niko used to scare Amalie and she was subjected to anxiety attacks but.…) or he’s just very good at reading people but… We’ll never know.Yeah, they changed a lot. The “William” clip where it shows how peaceful they are is too cute.

About Noora.

I admit that I don’t understand her sometimes. I think that I see the world more like W does than her. (For example, I agree with violence solving a lot of problems in the world. I won’t do a philosophical essay about that here, but I understand what he meant by that.)

I hate the way she treats Vilde, for example. So I spent a lot of the first two seasons rolling my eyes at her, to be honest.  Her whole speech about the hoodie, that leads Vilde to give it back to William? I find it terrible. The idea of those hoodies is bad/dumb whatever. but the way she talks about the girls that are wearing a hoodie etc rubs me the wrong way. So, keep in my mind that I’ve never thought N was the greatest character ever like some people seem to have.  So in terms of characters analysis, I think there is a lot to say. Her childhood/early life - She emphasizes to W that she’s unplanned. I mean, this is not really something you say when someone asks you about your family. She seems to want to dissociate herself from her family totally. (She doesn’t hook up regularly for example when she said to Jonas she has seen her parents having sex and says that her parents are like obsessed with each other and their sex life). She tells W that her hometown is shit and that she flew to Madrid at 15. That’s extremely young to flee your country but her parents let her. She didn’t cut them off her life completely because she speaks to them every month. Bare minimum, but still.Her image/character - She says that her parents never loved her, which is extremely harsh in a sense, still, she doesn’t want William to call his mom a cunt, you know? Like, she seems to *always* put the blame on her (my parents never loved ME (when W says that his mom is the problem) - SHE shouldn’t be in love with W - She says “I don’t know” to W when he asked her what happens, like she should know, like not having given clear and expressive consent at all isn’t enough etc) so I would say that the strong independent woman is something she wants to be and not really what she is - it is a goal. We see her kind of this way in s1 because Eva sees her that way. When we’re in her head, though, she struggles a lot and has been for quite some time apparently. She escaped  Norway just a few months ago. She was sick - an eating disorder probably. She got back on track, but I don’t think she was ever in the greatest place.She seems (to me, of course) to want to be perfect. We don’t hear her cursing a lot, she’s a feminist (and Vilde should act like one, too. Like I don’t mean it in a bad way, though. Vilde should educate herself more but N is the only one to notice), stands up for herself and the others, do not care about men - she doesn’t need them and Vilde shouldn’t need them - she doesn’t drink. She’s honestly, the perfect girl next door. A bit more badass maybe, but she’s perfect. She tries hard to be, at least. She is a control freak, imo. She has an eating disorder that used to be more important than now, from what we know. Eating disorders are usually about having control on your body. She probably had anorexia or something similar. She’s healthy, now but she still controls what she eats. (She even snaps at Eskild because she can’t have what she wanted). She wants everyone to see the world as she does. She can’t be with W because of the bottle accident, she rolls her eyes at Vilde for things that seem a bit meh to her (like the kiss auction). She doesn’t seem to struggle very hard with her body image but she has a style™ that probably helps her feel “safe”.

3. Sex - We know she has an ex - a boy she lost her virginity to at 13.  He acted like a prick and left her soon after they had sex. She was raised by a sexologist and a psychologist, says she has seen her parents in a compromising position, talks about orgasms with Vilde. She doesn’t date and doesn’t hook up, to the point where Vilde think she might not be interested in men. It can also be tight to want control - over her body. When she meets William and accepts that she’s attracted to him, she doesn’t shy from affection. I’ll talk about W later but when she decides to have sex with him, it’s because she let herself go and be more carefree than before.I might add that the way she talks about other people sex lives/being open about having sex has an underlying judging tone that I dislike. Especially with Vilde. I guess it’s showing her discomfort but hmm.. yeah.4.  Friends - As I said, Vilde and Noora’s friendship is not my favorite. Vilde acts like a mirror for Noora. The girl who is rejected by her first boy after she lost her virginity? That’s Noora three years ago. Vilde also has an eating problem/disorder, like Noora. I get that she wants to protect Vilde from making the same mistakes she made a few years back but she doesn’t succeed because you can’t shield people from everything. There are a few scenes that are cute, but I’m not a fan on the whole “Listen to Noora” vibe of everything. She also does not realize that Vilde is not her and it leads to awkward situations. It’s Noora’s speech about the hoodies that leads Vilde to confront William. (Unpopular opinion ahead) Vilde could never have won this battle because ultimately, the hoodies are not important to W - or the Penetrators. What N suggests is just to give him back the sweater but Vilde wants to be popular so she takes the chance to try to call him out publicly. William would never allow his reputation to be ruined for a stupid sweater.N stands up for V. She gives a beautiful little speech. Does she talk about W? To W? Honestly I’m not sure, I think she’s talking to the fuckboy she was never able to face in the past. Her speech has little to do with what W tells V. She just went on a rant about the hoodies and do not mention them. She tries to call out William shouting at him every insecurity he could have and is quite spot on. I do not think you defend someone who was insulted by insults, but well. It works.Then she lies to Vilde about the reason why William apologized. William tells her he doesn’t think it was a smart idea - even if he doesn’t care. Then she is caught in a kind of crossroad. She wants to protect Vilde and has to “hate” W, but she is attracted to him. She uses Vilde as an excuse to see William, then as an excuse to keep their relationship a secret because she doesn’t see Vilde as a ‘strong’ woman who can handle her friend having a reciprocal crush on a boy she had a one night stand with.Even early, when Noora decides to go to W party because Vilde is crying, she stays with him and does not try to see if her friend is okay or not. So, even if those two have sweet moments, I’m not a fan of their friendship. With the other girls? she’s an alright friend.

5. William  - In season 1, she seems to have little interest in love/sex etc. She opens up a bit in season 2, and we can see how she fights her growing feelings for him. She doesn’t want to cave in, but she loves the attention he gives her and craves it. Then when he is clear with her and tells her that he’s done, she gives up. Noora’s problem with William (I’m only talking about her) is that she doesn’t trust him. She has her guards up because she doesn’t want to get hurt so she never believes him. She doesn’t believe him when they’re on the bench, she believes Vilde and Chris when they talk about his brother even though he told her a different story. She believes his brother almost instantly because what he is telling her “proves” that the preconceived image she has of William is true. She is heartbroken and drinks to forget. Then she realizes (throughout ep. 9) that William was telling her the truth - that there was a reason why he didn’t want to introduce his brother to her. She feels guilty because she trusted and listen to Niko. She wants to tell him everything but he opens up more and then she can’t tell him because… what if he kills Niko? The scene where she’s about to tell him is (imo) the moment Noora knew that she could not live without him. She has strong morals and doesn’t want to tell him and then watch him kill his own brother. So, she trusts their legal system. She doesn’t think that Niko could twist what happened and tell William but he does. She feels guilty of everything so when he confronts her she is lost. She knows that it’s a lost battle. I think, personally, that she understands William’s reaction and that she knows that it’s a tricky situation for both of them because, after that, she asks him to talk. She doesn’t let him the choice, in fact. She goes into Warrior mode like when she defended Vilde. When they’re talking she tries to be sweet and show him she loves him but it doesn’t work so she does the same and calls him out. However, she doesn’t say anything about him being mad at the possible encounter between N and Niko. she says “because your girl lied to you” and I think that it’s Noora acknowledging that William knows and understands that N didn’t consent to anything. She knows that the problem is a matter of trust. He doesn’t handle Noora’s trust issues well. So, I think that Noora getting back together and deciding to take the next step with William in episode 12 is in character. She has to trust him more and tries to show him that she does trust him.Then in s3, she comes back heartbroken but she stood up for herself. She thinks that he will come back for her so it takes time to process that no, maybe he won’t because she taught him that no is no (I guess, that is why Julie wrote it that way). She hides the real reason to everyone and maybe to herself. Then in s4, at first she doesn’t want to admit that there’s no W/N anymore and is crushed to know that W has possibly moved on. (I don’t think he did. If he had a girlfriend like Eva said, he wouldn’t have come back at all, imo)At the end, we see that she is back with him, happy but that she has learned from the past and that they are going slower than before.

Let me know if I forgot to talk about something. Sorry for the delay!

[kyoukokiwigiri]

As I’ve stated from the LAST post, the special mentions will have me rambling about how much they mean to me! You guys deserve your own spotlight & thus I am here to let my heart open to you~ Also. I’m so so so so sorry for the potential spam this is going to do, but at the same time, y’all needa let Luciafer love you to hell & back. 

Also, please just ctrl + f your urls if you don’t wanna scroll for decades, because this got SUPER lengthy. Also sorry for any mobile users viewing my blog oh dear lord-- 

Art Source  [ X ] 

@glovedxdetective - Brittany, honestly. I can say so much about you. Hell, if I let everything out, it would be APA formatted with 5 pages & double space. Honest. I am so glad that I had the guts to approach you at first, & I am so so so glad to have a friend like you. You mean absolutely EVERYTHING to me. I never thought I could find someone so unique, talented & special like you & I am ALWAYS in awe when it comes to you. From the shitposting to the plotted AUs & our ships, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You, my dear, are one of my VERY best friends. Thank you so much for always being there for me. Thank you for dragging me out of the murky water, & thank you for always making me smile & laugh. If I had the power to do anything for you, I’d make sure you’re happy no matter what happens. <3 

@rikaikokai / @akaikogo - Mako. Oh my goodness. You’re one of the oldies, but you’re one of the goodies ;3 Being serious, you honestly have such a charming personality & you’re REALLY funny. You’ve been nothing but supportive & I am glad to have you around. I am glad that we’re talking again because you make me see the light in so many various ways. I honestly admire you because of how tough you are, but you also taught me a lot. You never sugarcoat & it helped me grow up over the years. So thank you, Mako. Never change because you’re absolutely perfect. <3 

@gelidrose / @osculummortiferum - Cheryl/Amelie. You. Yes you. You are the VERY reason why I am here today. If it weren’t for our friendship years ago, I wouldn’t be here loud & proud with a big smile. I always think of you whenever I’m not wrapped up in my own thoughts & shenanigans, & I miss you. I hope things have been well for you over there, & never forget that you meant absolutely everything to me. You’re sweet, kind, loving, caring & simply amazing. I know we don’t talk much nowadays, but I am ALWAYS open to chat with you any time. I love you, no matter what happens. I’m always here to support you if you ever need it! <3

@bledfed - Caleb!!!! You are so amazing. I can’t believe we’re basically opposites in almost EVERY single way. You are an AMAZING friend & I love & adore you to bits! From what we had from DPOE to Twelvegiri to cute Kitkat & Kirigiri memeing shenanigans. I love how you are as a person & even if you are like 99.99% salt mine, I still love you & will always be by your side. I’m basically platonically married to you in my own way & just stay rad! You are amazing. Always remember this & just know I’m gay as fuck for you <3 

@truthmixedwithlies - LMAO FUKBOI. You’re barely on your RP blog & you’re mostly on skype, but I’m going to force you to read this ultra gay shit man. Honestly, that’s some extreme PDA if I were to ramble about you, so I’ll ramble about my dokis for you since forever. Honestly, you’re one of the first Kirigiri dupes I’ve interacted with & honestly you’re my longest lasting lover as well. So yo, you’re honestly really great & I love you a lot even though school is kicking both our asses ||||OTL

@kirigiri-kocho - PEYTON, M’WIFE!!!! AF !!!!!!!! <3 LISTEN. I CAN RAMBLE ABOUT YOU FOREVER & I LOVE YOU TO HELL & BEYOND. Whenever you’re sad it makes me sad because no, Peyton deserves ALL THE JOY IN THE WORLD!!!!!! Listen. I love all your portrayals, ideas, & your PASSION for Jin. You make me love the Kirigiri family even more despite how despair-ridden it is & oh my godddddddddd never think you’re horrible or anything because I will shove you my heart to hell, heaven & space!!!! <3

@empatheticapothecary - Ray, you’re quite a unique friend that I gotta say. You have amazing writing talent & it awes me how you can write that much & have it be relevant & yet so wonderful to read. You have an amazing portrayal of Seiko & honestly, thank you so much for giving Kirigiri her partner. I never expected this ship to take over. You as a friend...I can say a lot. You are sweet, caring, kind & understanding. Despite what went on between us both, I am very glad to have you as a friend. You have a good head on your shoulders & don’t let anything keep you down. <3 

@kibotofuko - Kelli!!!!! You’re honestly an amazing person! I love you & your Komaeda so much you have no idea. Oh my goodness, I blog stalk you basically because I just love seeing your content. You’re a great person for hosting the Chatzys and stuff for the longest time & the fact we caused that one meme trend for the night was absolutely amazing. I’m always here for you if you need it though! Just remember I love you tons <3 

@overlordofdarkness - Oh my god Cam, you have the sassiest remarks, but you’re utterly hilarious. You making that card deck for Cards Against Humanity is ABSOLUTELY priceless, but you & your Gundam are just as equally amazing. I love the thread we have going on & I love being around you whenever the case possible! Stay thirsty m’dude you god damn tsundere you <3 

@emissicius - RICARDO!!! YOU GOD DAMN GAY FUCK YOU. Oh my god, you will never hear the end of it on how much you MEAN to me. I can never thank you enough for all you’ve done. Thank you from the bottom of my heart once again, & thank you for being a good, close friend to me. You are the greatest Kizakura I’ve ever witnessed in my life & you have such a great, charming & funny personality that I’d never get tired of you. Also, I’ll get my lazy ass one of these days to get you your #dreamthreads ;3 <3 

@idolocity / @drakonubiytsa - SON!!!!!! OH MY GOD MARK. LISTEN YOU FUCK. You’re such a memefucker & I love you so much for it. Remember the days where you were shy as fuck to me? Here we are, still strong after like what? Two years of friendship? Oh my god, like, I fucking love you to bits & you are my precious son forever. Memether got your back 5eva <3  Also, my asshole is clenched & ready for that Saihara & you already know what the first few posts will be. LMAO

@hxpeiing / @kexbo - MY OTHER SON!!!!!!!!! Chris I love you so much & thank you so much for putting up with my meme shit & shit overall omfg-- but listen fam, you got an AMAZING Naegi & my Kirigiri loves him so much like af ( TRUE BROTP RIGHT HERE ). I love your Kiibo too & am honestly ready for when you put him out into the spotlight fully. You got an amazing personality & you’re so funny & kind like oh my god. The salt we have though is hilarious, but I mean, like mother like son EHH? AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYLMAO 

@uhhhthisone - WESLEY! Dude you’ve been around since forever. I love how you talk to me about your disappearances & commissions. I also love all the small little gifts you actually take the time to buy & send me. Honest! I’m kinda excited for those chocolates you’re gonna mail & I appreciate what you got for my Steam, etc. But no, you’re honestly really sweet, & those fun memes you send for Kirigiri make my day even better. Though I’m really busy most of the time so I apologize for not talking to you as much as I’d want. Though I still love you fam ;3 <3

@djwiththefxre - Mari!!! You’re so sweet oh my god I love you so much af. I love you & your Souda like oh my god Kirigiri has the BEST god damn soul brother & it’s all thanks to you! I love everything about you & what you do for your muses. Let’s never forget that Izayoi was the SHSL Wingman for the longest time LMAO <3 

@vcgabcnd - KENZIE M’MEMER AF. Listen m8 you & Ryuko are stuck with me forever & much less alone Kirigiri is always going to suffer. NEVER FORGET. EVERY TIME I SAY SHE ISN’T SHE OUT ANGSTS MY OWN EXPECTATIONS. But we our motto together is “I LOVE DYING & BEING DEAD” & I find that special. You’re awesome, rad & honestly one of m’fams & you’re stuck with me forever xoxo <3  Serious you, like your portrayal of Ryuko is fantastic & I’m so glad to be a friend of yours as well as to have the luxury to see you host streams & seeing your threads with others! 11/10 would recommend <3 

@psythe - EL!! MY DAUGHTER AF. Listen m8, we go back WAYYYYY back then like when the dinosaurs lived. You were but a wee lil memer & you have quite the sassy bite now & I cry about it 24/7. Honestly, I can say a lot about you but I won’t because that’d be like a 5 page essay, APA formatted, etc. Though I love you to hell & back & you’re basically my fam though I have shitty communication skills at time, but also I blame nursing school to some extent lmAO. Either way, you’re hella awesome tbh & I love how you’ve improved over everything over the years <3 

@horosuru - NIKO!!! Listen m8, you’re perfect & nothing can make me tell you otherwise. NOT EVEN IF THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN & VOTED FOR THE WORSE MEMER. I love you & your Ryuko & I love what you headcanon & write out. Oh my lord. Your meta rambles are LOVELY to read & as well as the storyline you have going on in your storytime chat with the rest of us. Honestly, you’re so nice & I love you so much even though we still needa bond??? But you’re absolutely HILARIOUS like please let me love you more y/y <3 

@hakureimaiden - IRMA IRMA IRMA IRMA !!! <333333 MY FAM!!! AF!!!!!!!! Dude, the clancla you sent I’ve received <3 but oh my god no I love you so much like who knew Reimu and Kirigiri were going to be like PLATONIC SOUL MATES? WHO KNEW WE’D HAVE SUCH A LIT FRIENDSHIP??? ESPECIALLY WHEN WE STREAMED LIKE SHARNADO AND OTHER THINGS OH GOD. From angst hell via DPOE to the meme times now like good lord I love you so MUCH LIKE I CAN WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT YOU. YOU MADE ME LOVE TOUHOU AGAIN. FUCKING STAY HELLA DANK M’DUDE <3

@mcncheri / @sadiques -  MICHAEL <3 Listen dude, you’re EXTREMELY talented like your art is SUPER amazing & I love your portryal for Adrien & Yandere-kun. Like I know shit over there is really tough, but just know I’m always here if you needa vent or ramble. Like I’m not the best at handling some stuff but just know you mean a lot to me & that I want you to be happy & to have a good time <3 Honestly, I miss you quite a bit but I totally get like life & other shenanigans tbh 

@exsspes - NINA MY TWINZIE AF OH MY GOD I LOVE NINA!!! I LOVE NINA SO GOD DAMN MUCH. LISTEN. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU FUCKING MEME I WILL SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MT. EVEREST TO PROCLAIM MY LOVE TO YOU. Like you have SUCH adorable & amazing art, & I LOVE how you portray Naegi---especially DESPAIR! Naegi. Af oh my GOD GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT. Like I’m STILL amazed to this day how well we bonded too?? Like we immediately had chemistry & just skyrocketed in bonding like jesus CHRIST WE ARE ALWAYS ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH TOO??? LIKE NEVER STOP BEING YOU. LET ME LOVE YOU FOREVER. 

@datxra - Jess~ <3 You’re one of the memers that lasted with me since the 2014 decade af. Honestly, AnR was one hell of a series & to be honest I didn’t think any AnR Rper would remain to this day. Clearly I’m proven wrong since you’re with the shit midget LMAO but fuck I love the chemistry she has with Kirigiri & it’s so much fun exploring & actually developing their story?? Like IT ALL STARTED FROM AN ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE. Here they are, getting pets together, Kirigiri saving her from her assassin life, & just holy SHITTTTTTTT THEY CAME SUCH A LONG WAY. I also love talking to you OOC whenever I can too since you’re SUCH A JOY TO TALK TO??? LIKE LET ME LOVE YOU. FOREVER. YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME. <3

@kagerou-days-konoha - ZAK!!!! We don’t talk too much, but I’m glad to see you’re still around! I miss the days we had before but it’s so nice to see you pop around to say hi once a while & just all your small gifts here & there make me smile. I cherish them honestly. From your drawings to your steam game gifts. You’re sweet & amazing & I hope things are going well for you out there! <3

@kanzukiisms - MY SON! M’BOY! Listen, we’ve been through so much but I love you a lot holy fuck. I’m happy & glad to see things are a bit better for you over there & how you’re always striving to be better <3 While we don’t talk a lot anymore, I still love you & like god---take good care of yourself over there alright? Mother is always here & ready to M E M E. Also congratulations on ALL your achievements! I’m proud of you. <3 

[lpdwillwrite4coffee]

CHILDREN OF LILITH CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Michael cursed, ducking out of the way as wood shrapnel arched over his head. It wouldn’t have wounded him, but someone might have noticed if pieces of furniture traveling at high velocity were stopped mid-air by an invisible force.

“Well this worked out beautifully,” he muttered, crunching an ice cube between his teeth. “Look at us, stuck inside a hurricane in a tea cup. Perfect.”

Gabriel stared, wide eyed, at the destruction around them. “I don’t understand…”

“I think I do.” Michael hopped off his bar stool. “Daddy-O’s fucking with you.”

Heat flared in Gabriel’s gaze. “Don’t-”

“Look, Gabe, we tried. We tried to help, and it didn’t matter.” Michael gestured to the ensuing chaos. “Shit still hit the fan. And you know why? Because He-” he pointed upwards “-Never intended for any other outcome to happen.”

“Then why did he send me those visions?” Gabriel snapped back.

“I don’t know. Maybe it was to give you a heads up. Maybe it was to make you feel useful, make you think you still had a purpose in all this-”

“I do have a purpose.”

Michael coughed out a laugh. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that after you spend a millennium stomping over every inch of this fucking planet without a damned thing to do.”

“Don’t project your inadequacy issues onto this brother,” Gabriel said, glaring at him.

Michael opened his mouth to retort but thought better of it. Sighing, he lifted his hands in surrender. “Maybe this isn’t the best place to have this discussion.”

Through gritted teeth Gabriel said, “Perhaps not.”

Taking a step forward, Michael held his brother’s stare. “Gabe, we did what we could, okay? We tried and we failed.” He shrugged. “It’s time to move on.”

Gabriel frowned. “You think this is the final outcome?” He glanced at the clashing forces of nature around them. “That this is the last event?”

Michael blinked, his brow drawing down over his eyes. “This is the fight you were worried about,” he said. A glass projectile hurtled in his direction and he sidestepped it, unflinching as it exploded against the wall behind him. “You wanted to stop all of this,” he said, waving a hand out. “Because-”

“Because of what happens after this,” Gabriel said. “This is the confluence of everything, Michael. The perfectly placed domino that allows for the rest to tip over.”

Michael shook his head. “What are you saying?”

Electric blue eyes met his in an unwavering stare. “I’m saying this is only the beginning.”

* * *

Griffin must have been hallucinating.

The energy his gift was devouring must have been fueling his own dark memories- ones soaked in blood and hatred, and tasted like black cherry lip gloss and gin. All the rage being siphoned into his head must’ve given life to the things buried deep inside him…

Because Griffin could have sworn he saw Serena’s blonde hair streaking through a dense mob of Newborns, just before their heads were liberated from their bodies.

Griffin started towards the mirage- that’s what it had to be, a mirage- sending Vampires crumbling into ash as he went. Bodies fell around him, his dagger slicing through flesh with ease. Copper stains reached his elbows, drying in the creases of his knuckles and wrists. Pulse thundering against his eardrums, he wasn’t sure if the roaring he heard was coming from the Vampires he was slaughtering, or from his own lungs.

The shimmering blonde of Serena’s ghost curved to the left and doubled back, punching through the ribs of a lone female no one had noticed yet.

Why would Serena be killing other Vampires?

Stabbing his blade through the back of a male’s neck, Griffin tossed him aside and charged forward. He was almost to her…

“Griff!”

A misfired bullet sent plaster dust raining down on him, and Griffin spun around. Boz was caught. A male had his arm wrapped around Boz’s neck, choking him as he dragged him backwards. Boz’s kicked wildly, clawing at the Vampire that had him. His gun had been lost. He was defenseless.

A Berserker’s growl erupted out of Griffin. Boots pounded over gore-covered linoleum and he jumped, tackling the male to the ground. Shoving Boz out of the way, he grabbed for the male’s throat and slammed his head into the floor. Bloodied fists made solid impacts on the softer tissues of the face, ruining the nose and knocking loose a few teeth. Finding his dagger again, Griffin brought it down into the male’s left eye socket.

“Boz?” Griffin called.

He heard scrambling behind him and soon Boz was next to him, his Beretta in hand. Griffin swung to the side, out of his friend’s way. This was Boz’s kill, not his.

Gunfire deafened him as Boz unloaded the rest of his clip into the male.

Rocking back on his heels, Boz lowered his weapon. “Suck on that,” he mocked through labored gasps, watching the male disintegrate.

Swapping his knife to his other hand, Griffin reached for Boz. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Boz said, giving a weak nod. “Dude, next time you’re gonna take off like that, give a guy a warning.”

Griffin blinked. He hadn’t realized he’d gone so far. “Sorry,” he said, offering his hand.

Clapping his palm over Griffin’s, Boz flashed a lopsided grin. “It’s cool,” he said as Griffin hoisted him up.

Turning to head back into the fight, they both pulled up short and watched Otto and Tasha take down the last three Vampires with a nearly acrobatic fighting routine. The heel of Tasha’s pump split apart the male’s decaying chest and she retrieved her knife from the growing pile of ash.

Wiping the blade on her torn hem, she smirked at Griffin and Boz. “Nice job fellas. Now which one of you is gonna pay for my new dress?”

* * *

Amsterdam sighed, closing the book in his hands. He had tried- had read every available resource, researched every possibility, and still he found only the same answer. The answer he suspected Alexander Rex had known from the beginning. The one Mary had tried to explain to him.

Setting the volume aside, John stood and went to the window. He felt the chill from the night through the glass, noted how his breath didn’t fog up the surface like a human’s would.

This isn’t acceptable behavior John, you know this. You’re neutral. Your job is to keep records, to gather information for those in need. Mentally aligning yourself with one side or another is treacherous… It goes against your own personal code, it-

John shut his eyes, pressing his forehead to the window.

“She reminds me of Elizabeth,” he murmured to the sky.

John’s sister, considered a young woman at just fifteen, had been his shining star. Unyielding in her trust of John… even after he’d been turned.

“No, Elizabeth, you must stay away. I’m a monster-”

“You’re only a monster if you allow yourself to be one, Jonathan.”

“I can’t- I don’t want to hurt you…”

“You won’t. I believe in you brother. Do you believe in yourself?”

It was the first time he’d ever thought that maybe he could control his Vampiric nature, instead of being a slave to his hunger. He left the root cellar he’d barricaded himself in holding Elizabeth’s hand.

Smallpox took her a year later, a month before she was to be wed. She died holding his hand, whispering about how fitting it was that their lives began and ended the same way.

Nikki reminded him of Elizabeth, in more ways than he could fully grasp.

And now there was one more reason to add to his list.

He needed to call Griffin. But John could only stare at the moonlit clouds and long for starlight.

* * *

Griffin stood in the middle of the dance floor, surveying the carnage. Someone had raised the house lights and shut off the speakers, and the quiet was jarring. But nothing compared to the mangled wreck inside his head.

One of the security guards motioned to get his attention. “Hey O’Connor, Tony’s here.”

Just as he finished saying it, the club’s owner came in through one of the hidden stairwells and gaped. “Holy shit,” he whispered, broken glass crunching under his loafers.

“Tony,” Griffin said, offering a short nod.

Pressing his lips in a hard line, Tony glanced around, mentally tallying the bodies. “My guys upstairs weren’t kidding,” he muttered, stopping at Griffin’s side.

“Afraid not.”

Running a finger over his brow, Tony turned towards him. “Your people alright?”

Griffin jerked his head. “We’re all kinda banged up, but we’re alive.”

“Good, that’s… that’s good.” Tony gave him a firm pat on the shoulder. He sighed, still staring around the room at the immense damage. “O’Connor, you got any idea how this could’ve happened?”

“Honestly?” Griffin shook his head. “I have no idea.”

“Sir?” One of the other bouncers called.

Scratching at his graying temple, Tony stepped over to him. “Yeah, kid.”

“It’s Douglas,” the bouncer started. “He was dropped from the ceiling. He didn’t make it, sir.”

Tony cursed under his breath, glancing past the guard towards the bar where the man’s corpse was still sprawled out.

“Who’s Douglas?” Griffin asked.

“My head of security,” Tony said, pulling out his phone. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to make a couple calls.”

Griffin nodded. “The Cleaners?”

Tony flicked his gaze to another civilian body lying nearby, and exhaled. “Oh yeah.”

Griffin watched as Tony paced away, lifting his phone to his ear. He knew the routine. Too many civilians die in a Vampire attack and the Cleaners were called. They didn’t just dispose of the bodies and evidence, they contacted their people in the police department and the media. Made sure anything damning never leaked, took care of witness reports, and found the right scapegoat to be blamed should the story ever hit the papers. Something this big? They’d probably go with gang violence or a drug cartel turf war. Something plausible and shrouded in fear so the public wouldn’t dig deeper.

Hurried footsteps from behind him brought Griffin’s head around. Boz was jogging over, with Otto and Joel following.

“What is it?” He asked when Boz slowed in front of him.

“James just called,” he said. “He and Nikos caught a female trying to escape. They’re bringing her down now, figured she might give up some information.”

Otto gave a derisive snort. “Yeah, good luck with that. Aligned hardly ever talk.”

Griffin nodded. “Boz do me a favor, and do a second head count with everyone. I want to be sure we’re all accounted for.”

“Sure, buddy.” Boz clapped him on the arm. Before he got too far away, he turned back and asked, “Nikki’s in the bathroom, right?”

“What?”

Boz gestured to the ladies’ room. “I didn’t see her before, so I just assumed she was in there.”

Griffin scowled. “No. No, she was…” He started moving towards the expansive structure in the middle of the room. “She was behind the bar.”

“I didn’t see her,” Boz called after him, following.

Griffin skirted the edge of the bar top, jogging behind it. Nikki wasn’t there. His boots scuffed through broken glass and wood. A puddle of red caught his attention.

Blood… Blood where Nikki had been sitting when he’d left her.

Griffin’s stomach rolled.

“She’s not here,” he said, voice thick. “Where is she?” He glanced over his shoulder at Boz and Otto. “Where did she go?”

“Hey, Griff, it’s okay,” Boz said, attempting to soothe him. “We’ll find her. She couldn’t have gotten far.”

Immediately the men spread out, searching behind doors and curtains, calling for Nikki. Tasha strode over to him, a frown pinching her brow together.

“Is she hurt?” She asked, skipping through his mind to the image of blood on the floor.

“I don’t know. Do you hear her?” Griffin asked.

Tasha inhaled, closing her eyes. She waited for a moment, then two, and three. It made Griffin want to rip his hair out.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I can’t… I don’t hear her, but there’s so much noise.” Tasha stared at all the people hustling around the room. “Maybe if I got closer to wherever she was? Don’t you sense her?”

Griffin’s jaw tightened. He could barely recognize his own consciousness inside his head, let alone anyone else’s.

“You’re right, I’m sorry” Tasha said, waving a hand. “I forget how different our gifts can be sometimes.” Looking behind her, Tasha whistled. “Hey Joel, you mind lending a hand?”

Joel nodded, moving across the room. His expression was hard but his dark brown eyes were wide. He was reading something.

“I can’t tell where she is,” he started. “But I know she didn’t die on the premises.” He met Griffin’s gaze briefly. “I would have felt it.”

Tasha jerked her head. “Okay, so at least we know she’s alive.”

“Or isn’t in the building anymore,” Joel added.

Panic stole Griffin’s breath. Where the hell could she be?

“Boz?” He called out, looking towards his friend.

“Sorry buddy,” Boz said, shaking his head. “Nothing yet.”

“She couldn’t have just vanished,” Griffin snapped, dragging a hand through his hair.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and focused. If there was ever a time for his gift to dive straight into Nikki’s head, it was now.

Tap, tap, tap…

Griffin’s eyes fluttered open. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Tasha asked.

Tap, tap, tap…

“That.” He scowled, turning in the direction of the sound. He knew it wasn’t his gift picking up the noise… So where was it coming from?

Tap, tap, tap…

“Everyone shut up for a second,” Joel ordered. The room fell silent and the tapping grew louder.

Griffin blinked. “It’s coming from over there,” he exclaimed.

“Hello?” A faint voice called. Tap, tap, tap. “Can anyone hear me?”

“Nikki?” Griffin yelled, jogging around the bar.

“Griffin, is that you?”

Relief made his head swim. “Yeah, Nik, it’s me. Where are you?”

There was a brief pause before she answered. “I’m in the cabinet.” Even at a low volume, her embarrassment was audible.

“What?”

“I accidentally locked myself in.”

Crouching down, Griffin ran his hands over the length of cabinet doors. “Why did you do that?” He pulled at one of the handles, but it was locked.

“I needed to hide.”

His gut clenched. “Are you hurt? What happened?” He tried another handle. Still locked.

“I’m okay… I think.” There was rustling from inside, and she continued. “I’m just stuck.”

“Alright, hold on Nik, we’re gonna get you out.” Griffin craned his neck, waving Tony over. “You got a key for this thing?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, hold on.” Coming around, he held out a key ring loaded down with metal. “It’s one of the small brass ones.”

Griffin stared blankly at the man. “Seriously?”

“What?”

“There are twenty brass keys on here, Tony,” Griffin snapped, shaking them in his palm.

“I said small. A small brass one.” Tony waved a hand out. “It’s probably a thinner one too… just like your patience.”

Griffin curled his lip in a sardonic smile. “Cute, real cute,” he muttered, trying one of the keys.

“Just trying to add a little humor to the situation.” Tony squatted down next to him. “You wanna tell me why there’s a girl locked in my liquor cabinet to begin with?”

“It was an accident,” Nikki and Griffin answered together.

Tony lifted his eyebrows and leaned closer to the door while Griffin tried another key. “Hey, there sweetheart,” he said, Brooklyn accent sculpting the words. “I’m Tony, what’s your name?” She answered and he smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Nikki. I’m very sorry about this predicament you’ve gotten into.”

“That’s alright,” she said, voice muffled. “I really am okay.” She paused for a beat. “Griffin? I’m okay, I promise.”

Griffin’s hands stilled on the lock. He’d feel better once she was out.

His breath caught to the sound of the bolt sliding. He knelt down, wrenching the door so hard it nearly jumped its tracks. Nikki’s pale fingers made it into the light first, and he reached to support her.

She’s so cold, he thought, swallowing hard.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured, easing back to give her space.

Nikki wriggled free of her confines, pulling her legs out clumsily. “Thanks,” she said. Shaky hands pushed the hair from her eyes and she looked up at Griffin.

Alarming streaks of crimson carved twin riverbeds down her face. Crescent shadows under her eyes contrasted against her ghostly complexion, and her luminescent irises swirled beneath dark lashes.

“That bad huh?” Nikki said hoarsely, pale lips quivering in a smile.

Griffin blinked. “No, no, it’s…” He faltered, trying to find the right words. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

Helping her to her feet, he noticed the chill in the air surrounding her. She wasn’t just cold; she was emanating it. For the first time since they met, Griffin allowed the dogs to roam free with her nearby. He thought they’d dive right into her subconscious, but instead they circled her, passed over as if she wasn’t inches from him. She was a blank spot on their radar.

“Thanks,” Nikki said, hands gripping his forearms.

Tony frowned. “Mind if I ask why you locked yourself in there?”

“This happened,” she explained, gesturing to her nose. “And I didn’t want to attract any Vampires, so I did the only thing I could think of.”

“Smart,” Tony said with a note of respect.

One of the bouncers called to Tony and he excused himself before striding around the bar. Nikki glanced over her shoulder at the cluster of people gathered around. They all stared, wide eyed and unmoving.

“I should go get cleaned up,” she whispered to Griffin.

“I’ll come with you.”

“No, that’s okay.” She shook her head. “You stay here. I won’t take long.”

She was feeling vulnerable, uncomfortable in her own body, and she didn’t want an audience while she dealt with the shockwaves.

Griffin reached for her as she started to pull away. “Nik-”

“I’m fine,” she said, too harshly. She winced, seeing the wounded expression in his eyes before his expression shuttered closed. Nikki wanted to explain, but people were still staring at her…

Ducking her head, she hurried on unsteady legs towards the ladies’ room, ignoring anyone who watched her. Shoving open the door, she lurched to the sinks and dug the heels of her palms into the porcelain, holding herself up with trembling arms. She gagged but nothing came up.

Nikki forced herself to breathe evenly through the waves of nausea. When her stomach settled, she glanced up, searching for a paper towel dispenser. She needed something to wipe the dried blood off her face.

Ask him about me.

She blinked, expecting the words to vanish like a mirage.

But there they were, scrawled in red lipstick across the neighboring mirror.

Ask him about me.

It was the same shade of red the woman…Vampire… had been using while she’d chatted with Nikki. As if it was completely normal to be wearing her best friend’s shoes and talking to the woman her bosses wanted dead.

Ask him about me.

What had she said her name was? It started with an S…

Ask him about me.

… Serena.

Numb, and half dazed, Nikki pulled a fistful of paper towels from the dispenser on the wall and reached over. She scrubbed until every trace was gone. Until the words were only visible in Nikki’s head.

She took a few more paper towels and wet them under the tap. She didn’t remember cleaning her face or washing her hands, wiping down the sink or throwing everything away. Her head buzzed until she touched the cold handle of the door and stopped.

Griffin knew her.

Griffin knew the Vampire that had done all of this.

And he’d lied about it.

* * *

“O’Connor,” Tony called out. “You’re gonna want to see this.”

Stepping away from Tasha and Boz, Griffin trudged through debris towards the other men. “What is it?”

Tony waved him closer and jerked his chin at the corpse draped over the bar. “He’s got something written on his chest.”

“What?” Griffin scowled.

“More like carved…”

Tugging at the shredded tacky cotton of the man’s shirt, Tony nodded for Griffin to look. Thin bloody scratches spelled out Pounds of Flesh across his abdomen.

“What the hell does that mean?” Griffin asked.

“I’m gonna level with you,” Tony started, voice kept to a low murmur. “I gave Douglas some… leniency when it came to disposal of any trespassing Vamps.”

Griffin pieced the puzzle together immediately. “Douglas was a blood supplier. He was in the Red circuit.”

Tony scratched his temple, features pinching with discomfort. “I didn’t ask many questions. Just asked he keep his freelancing business as quiet as possible.”

“Looks like he did a great job,” Griffin said, looking around at the destruction.

“Obviously he let things get out of hand.”

“And it got him, and a bunch of civilians killed.”

Tony held his hands up, placating. “I know, I know…”

Griffin’s stare flicked back to Douglas’ body. “Was he paying tribute?”

“You mean giving a profit cut to the Alpha? I highly doubt it.”

“Pounds of Flesh,” Griffin recited. “This was retaliation. Douglas screwed up, so Bradley came after him.”

“Who?”

“Manhattan’s Alpha. His name’s Nicholas Bradley.”

Tony’s brows knitted together. “So this wasn’t about you?”

Griffin blinked at him. “Me?”

“Your people were holding summit here,” Tony said. “Some of my guys overheard something about an Alpha coming for you.”

Folding his thick arms over his chest, Griffin leveled his glare on Tony. “Some of your men need to mind their own business. For obvious reasons.” He nodded pointedly at Douglas’ corpse.

“Hey, it’s their job to know what’s going on in my club, and if that violates your sense of privacy, too bad.” Anger flushed Tony’s cheeks and he was silent for a moment before exhaling and shaking his head. “Look, we’re both just trying to figure out why this happened. You know my people would never jeopardize your cause.”

Griffin forced the tension to leave his shoulders, but his posture didn’t shift much. “I know,” he said. “Did you call the Cleaners?”

Tony nodded. “They’re on their way.”

Boz jogged around the bar, cell phone in hand, motioning to Griffin. “Lisa called. She’s with James and Nikos, they’re bringing down the female they caught.”

Seconds later they heard furious shrieks, and the clanging of metal. Lisa strode into the room at the head of the group, her daggers still in hand. James and Nikos were on either side of the writhing, spitting female, hauling her by the restraints across the floor. Lengths of silver chain were wrapped around her body, burning her flesh wherever it touched. Black hair clung to her face as she fought to break free.

“Fuck you,” she screamed. “Let me go!”

From behind Griffin, Otto muttered, “She looks like a handful.”

“I’ll tear your throats out!” She roared, digging her heels into the floor and skidding.

“Not exactly helping your case there, sweetheart,” Tony said.

The female screeched, fangs glinting under the lights. “You’ll all burn! You’ll burn because of her!”

Tony waved for his men. “Take her to lock up. We’ll figure out what to do with her when the Cleaners get here.”

“You’ll burn! All of you! She’ll burn you all!” The female screamed as two security guards dragged her away.

“Who was she talking about?”

Nikki’s voice at his shoulder made Griffin jump. He hadn’t heard her, or felt her near him.

“Ah…” He faltered, staring down at her. “I don’t know.”

Green-gold eyes met his and his heart stuttered.

“I think I do,” she said, voice faint.

Griffin waited for her to continue, but she didn’t say anything more. She only turned and watched the guards shove the female into a narrow corridor and slam the door behind them. The screaming didn’t stop.

[bl-megame-blog]

love don’t live here anymore.

3:15 am, FRIDAY, MAY 12TH. from bel air to hidden hills. mentions of: gerald gillum, niko gillum, ashley frangipane, angelo frangipane.

caterina was sure that ashley and angelo could tell that their sister wasn’t right; this was a caterina that they had never seen before, this was one that she had never even seen before. she knew that her siblings had dragged her to spend the night with them so she wouldn’t be able to do anything stupid, but of course, in the midst of a heartbreak more unbearable than she ever thought possible, she’d find a way to carry out any mindless plan that found it’s way into her mind. as a teenager, rina had been reckless, always getting into trouble, always reminding everyone of what she was capable of. it had been a long time since she felt the need or the desire to do something that she knew she’d get in trouble for, since she felt the need to prove that she was the wrong person to hurt. but her fairytale life had come crumbling down at her feet and while she stood amongst the wreckage she knew that she’d never be that girl again. who she was, the happy, outgoing, made of sunshine, full of love woman who she had been for the past seven years was dead, a corpse buried deep in a past that she was about to destroy every remnant of. 

she had to wait long after ashley and angelo had fallen asleep to make sure that they were deep enough asleep that neither of them would wake when they heard her walking about the oversized bel air home, but once she was satisfied that this was a reality, she got up from where she had been laying next to her sister and staring at the ceiling for the past hour, and tiptoed out of the room and into the bathroom. her makeup was still in tact for the most part despite all of the drinking and crying she had done throughout the night. drinking to celebrate with her peers had been the perfect cover up when she was actually drinking to numb something deep inside of her, though typically it didn’t work. she fixed the concealer under her eyes a little bit, as well as the blood red lipstick that was covering her plump lips – a metaphor, certainly. she was definitely out for blood and wouldn’t stop until she tasted it. there was something satisfying about knowing that while her world had become so ugly, she still appeared to be the pretty thing that people previously used to always want to be around. when people realized what ugliness lived inside of her now, she wanted them to be surprised. she wanted them to wonder how feelings of such foulness could live inside something so small, genteel and cute. 

rina didn’t have a car at ashleys, and she certainly shouldn’t be driving now anyways, so she called for a car service, using the one gerald usually used under his account and his phone number so that he’d get the notification when the car showed up. he’d recognize the neighbourhood to be rina’s sisters, and know that she was on the move. since she wouldn’t get the notification on her phone when the car arrived, she went outside to wait in front of the gate of the house for the car (but not after filling a water bottle with ciroc to take with her for the ride, of course). when the car got there, she climbed into the back, watching out the window and sipping the liquid courage that she definitely didn’t need. 

the drive from bel air to hidden hills was about a half an hour, which was honestly far too long for rina as she was stuck with nothing to do but think about the past seven years of her life and how they’d been thrown away so easily by the person that she trusted to always protect her from any sort of hurt – who had now become the source and the creator of all of her despair. however, the half hour ride came to an end eventually, even if in rina’s drunken state it felt like it was five times longer, and the car was pulling up outside of the large house that her and gerald shared only six months ago. she got out and walked up to the gate, typing in the code to open it and then walking up the long driveway that led to the house. while she approached the front door, she thought about when they bought this house; when all of the years of hard work, of motivating gerald to finish every song even when he felt hopeless and didn’t want to. she remembered how happy he was when he watched her sign the deed and got to finally see the promises that one day they’d have a big house on a hill come true. she remembered when they first brought niko to see their new house and how excited he got when he saw the pool in the backyard. she couldn’t get distracted by those memories now, though. she couldn’t get caught up in the past when the present had her like a deer in headlights and was forcing her to face it. instead of using the padlock next to the front door she took her keychain out of her purse, using her key to the house to unlock the door, something about using her own key instead of the code made this feel like it was still her house, made this feel like she had come to destroy her home. 

she closed the door behind her and dropped her bag to the floor, turning every light on as she walked through a grand atrium that she remembered decorating  and into the living room, her heels clicking against the marble floors that she had picked out herself. once she got into the living room, she set her phone up to the entertainment system and scrolled through her music until she picked a song. “blame game” started to play through every speaker in the house, slithering down the stairs like a snake, surrounding her like a fire, it was a good thing that the closest neighbours were down the hill and couldn’t hear anything from there. caterina stepped up to the table that sat underneath a large window, looking at a few pictures of her and gerald, of him and niko, of the three of them together. she knew that these were all still sitting here because when he brought girls home he didn’t bring them into the living room. the bedroom was the only room that served a purpose on those nights. 

rina stared at the pictures, running her dainty fingers over the frames that they sat in, humming along to the song that had filled the house. when the first verse started to play though, she picked up the first of the pictures and hurled it against the wall, watching as the glass crashed and the photo fell to the floor. “…till about two am and i call back and i start to blame my fucking self, somebody help..” she sang to herself, picking up the next picture and carrying out the same action, doing this again and again until every picture was buried underneath a pile of glass in next to the fireplace that they had fallen asleep in front of so many nights. 

“i cant love you this much, i can’t love you this much,” she sang as she walked out of the living room and over to the staircase, making her way up the stairs and then into the master bedroom that they used to share. it still looked like the same room that they used to love each other in and that disgusted her – how many other girls did he treat the same way in this room? in her room. on their sheets. in their bed. she walked over to the bed, tugging her heels off and tossing one of them at the mirror, watching as it shattered. she grabbed the corners of the mattress and tugged it off of the boxspring, pulling it toward the double sided doors of the room and twisting it sideways to pull it out of the room. she pulled it over to the stairs, turning it upright onto its side and then pushed it down the stairs, watching as it slid down them and to the main floor of the house. she followed after it, walking back down the stairs and then struggled to drag the mattress through the house and to the doors that led onto the back deck. she unlocked the doors and slid them opened, huffing and breathing deeply as she tugged the mattress outside, down off of the deck and onto the ground near the pool. she walked across the yard to find one of the decorative torches that were used for lighting and to keep bugs away in the summer, took her lighter out of the pocket of her sweater and lit the torch. she watched the fire for a moment before she used the end of the torch to set the mattress on fire. she took a few steps back, holding the torch in her hand and watching as the flame started to eat away at the fabric of the mattress. she felt like she was watching the past seven years of her life burn. she stood there for a few minutes, watching the mattress become black and the flame grow, and briefly wondered what would happen if she just left it here burning in the backyard, walked back out the front door and just kept walking. but instead she put the torch out in the pool and then used the end of it to push the burning mattress into the pool. 

when she made her way back into the house, she left the bed that they had spent years making love in, discussing dreams in, watching movies with their child in, behind. she left it to sink the way the love of her life had left her and their son to. she walked through the house but stopped when she noticed something familiar on one of the walls in the front room that nobody ever really entered, it was just a large room with a grand piano in the middle of it. but something behind the door had caught her attention and she walked into the room and over to the far wall. her eyes filled up with tears almost instantly as she saw the first song gerald had ever written about her in his handwriting from all those years ago in the middle of a large frame right in the middle of the wall with just one other frame next to it. this frame was equally as large despite having something so small in the middle of it – a key that rina would have recognized anywhere. it was the key to the first apartment her and gerald lived in together, when she was just eighteen years old. the one bedroom apartment that they took care of their baby in when they didn’t have money for anything else, the first place rina ever lived in away from her parents. in this apartment, they made every promise of what their lives would look like in the future, they mapped out all of their dreams, they fell in love, and they learned that their lives wouldn’t look the same without each other. “when did you put these here, stupid?” rina asked outloud, as if gerald was standing right there to answer her while her fingers traced over the frame that covered the key. while tears dripped down her face, the girl stood up on her tiptoes to pull the huge frame off of the wall, it seemed heavy and overwhelming, but that was probably due to how tiny she was. she certainly felt three times smaller right now. she carried the frame into the living room, stepping on some glass but hardly caring about the pain on her way and laid down on the couch, her entire body curling around the frame, her forehead pressing to the top, as her sobs started to shake and rattle her body. every light in the house was on, the backdoor was wide open and the front one unlocked, but she didn’t care as she cried herself to sleep clutched around this relic of the beginning of her sons life now that it seemed like his life would never be as fulfilled or as good or as happy as it was before, this painful reminder of the perfect life and otherworldly love that she had lost.