#and I do want to possibly through David and Eggs at it because we enjoy torture for the plot (^^)

[blametheeditor]

A giant manhandling a tiny, like grip too tight and inspecting everything, and putting the tiny in their pant pocket. This would produce so much angst. Also being rolled under a shoe or something like that. For The Plot. Torture them For The Plot. Trust me For The Plot.

For The Plot

For The Plot, I want to sincerely apologize for how long this took for me to respond. I hope you enjoy it! I trusted you for the plot, and I really like the plot, and will definitely need to continue for the plot.

Seriously, thank you for this ask! I truly adored it, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of you day!

The Enigma Known As Scott

Rundown: To torture a Scott, he needs to be human, completely surrounded by giants. Worst part, he sounds like a mouse to them.

Warnings: Cursing, treating people as lesser than, dehumanization, talking over someone, mentions of death, mentions of killing, comprehending barrier

The Editor finally said it was my turn with the Writing Motivation

_____________________________

Scott has always been an enigma to those who work under Fazbear Entertainment. 

On one hand, his name is known by everyone, from the managers of each restaurant to the newly hired night guard. On the other hand, no one really knew who he was, the face and person behind the name. 

Truthfully, it was for the best. If the night guard’s survived the night and realized he hadn’t perished like the recordings suggested, he wasn’t in danger of having someone give him a rightful punch in the face. Not to mention the tempers of a few of the restaurant managers making it clear he’s despised and they wouldn’t hesitate to make his life hell if they ever met. Especially considering he is the only human working for the company.

It hadn’t always been that way. Back when Afton and Henry had been partners, the company had been first established as a children’s restaurant for both giants and humans. As safely as you can when 5 year olds are capable of holding a full grown adult in a fist. But the animatronics had two stages built, a giant and human version they could transfer between to when the other wasn’t playing. 

It was incredibly advanced technology. Meaning when Henry disappeared, Afton didn’t have the knowledge or patience to continue in the practice. And due to being a giant, the restaurants naturally shifted to giant-only locations. 

Of course, that didn’t stop the sadistic man from keeping Scott as an employee. The human could no longer be a waiter like before, but he was well suited to relaying information Afton requested. The perfect errand-boy to continue with assisting on new-hires, reports, inspections, and stepping in when certain things weren’t being done correctly. 

It was all strictly done over the phone, with inspections conducted in the few hours between everyone leaving after the restaurants were locked up and the night guard coming in for their shift. 

He couldn’t do it any other way. Being the only human means every employee is capable of sweeping him up. Pocketing him. Rolling their eyes before not listening to a word he said just because he’s no more than three inches tall to them. It was a matter of keeping his sanity and life intact while working for a cruel man who will never let him quit other than through death. 

Not to mention, he sounds like a squeaking mouse to every giant unless talking on the phone, or they wear a device that amplifies his voice. And unless they live or interact with a human daily, no giant in a giant-only location will have one. 

And despite all of this, Afton still thinks he’s not tortured enough. 

That’s how Scott finds himself hiding under the cashier counter at Freddy Fazbear’s during the restaurant's open hours. With tens of children screaming so loudly he can’t even hear the sound of his heart beating. Trembling from sheer terror because just as he feared, no one can understand him. And Afton lied about having the animatronics unlocked past 6am to help him get safely out of the restaurant. 

He should have seen it coming. Should’ve known the bullshit excuse of needing to test the four original animatronic’s trigger for returning to the stage once the night shift ended was just to get him trapped. Should’ve known the comment of Vincent being out of commission was to warn him the purple man wouldn’t be around to help him. 

It’s not like he could’ve said no. If he called the bluff, Afton would only smile and say it better be done. 

...it’s not like he’s transversed through the giant restaurant before. Albeit without the numerous giants running around without looking down to make sure no one ends up underfoot, or the staff that shrieked and tried to stomp on him when he first attempted to greet them in the hopes Afton was in a ‘good mood’. But he’s done it. Knows where the hidden door his size sits. Can carefully make his way there before escaping in one piece. 

He can do it. 

Scott takes a deep breath. Flinches as someone steps only a few feet away, the shoe longer than he is tall. Scans the area after gaining the courage to lean out a few inches. 

He pales at the sight before him. Of yards of open air between him, and the hallway that leads to his freedom, nothing but long tables meant for parties and giants sitting in every chair offering cover. 

Scott looks at the doors that could fling him across the room when the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, his eyes immediately darting up. 

Bright blue eyes stare at him with interest. Blue eyes Scott knows anywhere. Fear racing through him at the thought of Mike realizing there’s a human in the restaurant. 

Out of the hundreds, possibly thousands of night guards that had been hired, Scott has only personally known a hand full. Mike Schmidt being one of them. 

It’s hard not to. After surviving for two full months, that earns respect in his eyes. So did the fact he hadn’t been screamed at for misleading him about impending death. Cursed at, yes, but he learned quickly Mike cursed at everything. But the young man nearly gained enough trust for Scott to reveal he was human. 

Almost. His terror for what the giant would do won out. And it only got worse once Mike became Mike and Jeremy. Followed by Eggs, and James. Caleb, Fritz. There were too many giants who could spread the information from outside the group of those who got phone calls strictly to ensure they were alive. And once David was added, he knew he could never tell the owner of Fazbear Entertainment or else never get another report sent to him or a single call answered again. 

The thing is, while he has nightly calls with Mike and those who have earned the giant’s loyalty, Mike has never seen him. And he knows better than to hope the guard wears the device to turn his squeaking into the familiar voice over the phone. 

Scott jerks away from the edge, darting into the darkness in the hopes Mike will shrug off spotting a human like he does with almost everything else. Prays that working in place with the sick day guard’s shift is more important than investigating. 

For good measure he moves to the other side of the counter. Winces at the realization his only path is the one with the most movement and least amount of cover. But it’s not like he can wait until the restaurant closes. He missed his chance trying to get to the hallway before the day shift arrived by trusting Afton of all people. 

Scott takes another deep breath, attempting to calm his trembling as he aims himself toward the wall. Because at least there he’s almost guaranteed safety from shoes. Less so from being spotted. 

God, don’t let me die.

He ducks under the counter before starting his sprint. 

Only to scream in fear as a shoe lands directly in front of him. 

“No, no, no!” 

Scott attempts to scramble away, back to the safety of the counter, only to trip over his feet as he falls to the ground. 

Before he can even think, there’s warmth surrounding him. Warmth he is all too familiar with. And then fingers finally appear in his vision. 

“NO-!” 

His scream is cut off as a hand grabs him before he’s squeezed. It doesn’t loosen as he’s being lifted. And any struggle only has the grip get even tighter he can barely breathe. 

Suddenly, the hand frees him, and he tumbles into near pitch black darkness as his scream finally finishes. 

Scott gasps for air as he attempts to see where he is, yelping when everything moves, jolting with what seems to be a giant stepping. A lot more pronounced than when he’s sitting in the chest pocket of Vincent’s uniform. And yet he can’t help but feel like he is in one as he realizes he’s surrounded by fabric. 

There’s a few more steps until everything stops. Scott quickly attempts to stand up, find a way out. Yells as a hand suddenly invades his space. 

“No, let me go, let me go!” 

He kicks at the fingers as they attempt to curl around him. Shoves at the digits in a futile attempt to keep them from grabbing him, not wanting to be squeezed more than his ribs can take. 

Of course, the hand wins, a finger stroking his back, oblivious to his frantic want to get out where is he! 

...those are children screaming. 

Scott nearly stops breathing when he realizes he’s still in the restaurant. The giant might’ve made it clear he better not fight, but he isn’t being taken away from Fazbear’s. Just being held captive in a pocket. A pant pocket of someone just...standing. 

Against his better judgement, he carefully settles down. Terrified what might happen. Doesn’t know who holds him. But they didn’t stomp on or crush him, and they aren’t taking him home to be a pet...yet. 

He doesn’t know how long the giant stands for. He hears a booming voice fairly close, and then the giant begins to walk, this time the hand closing around him the moment he started to fight with the assumption now is when his fate will be determined. 

“We’re alone now, fucker.” 

Scott jolts as the voice rumbles through the air, a voice he recognizes. The voice that says Mike decided to investigate. Trembles with the uncertainty if it would be better or worse to have that giant being the one holding him. 

Nothing happens. Not even a finger nudging him or the hand closing in a warning he better respond. 

“M-Mike?” he begins, shoving at the nearest digit. The hand moves at that, curling around him before he’s lifted out, ducking away from the blinding light until he’s greeted with a familiar smirk. 

“You okay, asshole?” 

Scott stares. Because Mike can’t recognize him. Meaning he’s only a stranger to the giant, and so he will be treated as a random human that was found. And yet he doesn’t know how Mike reacts to humans. 

Will he be let go? Will he be put into a cage? Will they ever figure out it’s him? 

The worse part is he wants to trust the giant before him. He knows Scott can trust Mike. As long as Mike knows it’s Scott. 

“Can you put, uh, m-me down?” Scott attempts, pointing toward the- 

The human goes deathly still as fingers suddenly pinch the arm, unable to move, unable to breathe. 

“Your arm’s fucked up?” 

Scott can only watch as catastrophic digits capable of snapping his arm gently check for injuries. And then the other one is checked just as carefully. 

“Anything else?” 

The giant can’t understand him. And as eerie as it is being watched by eyes as big as his head, he’s being listened to for the most part. Meaning a dramatic and slow head shake should get him to what he wants. 

“Good,” Mike grins. “So do all goddamn humans squeak like the fucking Jerber?” 

At least they’re getting somewhere, and Scott feels better about humans who are strangers not becoming pets by this particular giant. Though it’s safe to assume Mike has never interacted with a human based on that answer. 

Scott hesitates before nodding to earn a thoughtful look. 

“Shit, maybe he can understand you. Want to fucking meet him?” 

Scott finds himself nodding because he doesn’t think leaving Mike’s side would be the best idea. He was grabbed and squeezed before being put into a pant pocket, but the giant clearly has no malice. And if he stays with the guard, Vincent will have an easier time finding him. 

Despite the fear this could go from bad to worse on how Jeremy reacts, Scott can’t help kicking when it seems like he’s about to be put back in the suffocating pocket. At least this giant doesn’t get upset and instead looks at him for an answer. 

“Chest pocket!” 

His pointing manages to convey the preferred method of transportation, even if Mike accidentally drops him a little too high into the hammock of fabric. The point is he was listened to, making the walk much more enjoyable. 

Scott curls into a ball as he finally allows everything to catch up to him. Including the fact he agreed to have a second giant interact with him. About if he wants to try and let them know the lost human is the Scott on the phone. 

He’s safe with Mike if this scenario ever happens again without the revelation. But what if Jeremy won’t let him leave in the fear he’ll get hurt? And what if he tells them and it spreads through the entire group? 

“Jerber!” 

Scott blinks at the realization they’re already at Mike and Jeremy’s apartment, the trembles coming back. Looking up in the hope he can plead to stay in the pocket when the sight of a hand reaching for him cuts it off, replaced with a yell as he’s scooped up effortlessly. 

 He doesn’t have time to orient himself before a finger is ruffling his hair. That earns a hand whacking the intrusion away as he growls. “Michael!” 

“Sorry, asshole move,” the giant concedes. Which only settles Scott’s nerves slightly, unable to help the fact he feels like a pet to the guard. 

“M-Mike!” has Scott whirling around at the greeting. Staring at Jeremy walking closer before the curly haired guard perks up at the sight of a human in Mike’s hand. “W-W-Where did you find a-a human?”

“Bastard was at the restaurant.” 

“Can I h-h-h-hold him?” 

Scott shakes his head. Backs away from the cupped hands waiting patiently for him to be transferred into. “Wait!” 

He didn’t expect Mike to listen, nor for Jeremy to immediately become concerned. “A-Are they okay?” 

Jeremy can’t understand him either. No one they talk to will. As kind as they are, he can’t explain he’s Scott who needs to get back home, or at the very least back to Afton. Because there’s no reason for giants living in a giant-only section to interact with humans. 

“You okay, asshole?” Mike asks. Knowing he’ll only get squeaks, which makes this so much better yet so much worse. 

Even if he wanted to, he can’t even say he’s Scott because- 

...because they’re not talking on the phone. 

Scott waves his arms in a big wait motion before pulling out his phone. Pissed with himself for not thinking about that earlier. 

Tenses as Jeremy jumps when his phone rings before answering it. “Sc-Scott?” 

“Jeremy, I’m the human Mike’s holding.” 

The squeak that made Mike believe that Jeremy could understand him emits as the young giant stares at him in shock. “Scott?” 

“Phone Guy?” 

Scott yells as the hand suddenly turns against him, terror flooding as fingers curl around him before he’s lifted in front of Mike’s face. 

“Asshole, why didn’t you fucking tell me? Are you okay? Did I goddamn hurt you?” 

“Y-You know you can’t h-h-hide i-injuries from Mike,” Jeremy pipes up after he doesn’t respond for too long. Too afraid if Mike is truly upset with him for not saying he was human. 

“I-I’m fine,” Scott finally murmurs. Jumps when he hears his own voice ring as loudly as a giant’s from the phone changed to speaker. 

“Have other giant assholes fucked with you?” Mike asks. The human finds himself unable to respond as he’s carried into the kitchen, breathing in relief as he’s finally allowed to climb onto solid ground. 

He stumbles as both Mike and Jeremy sit down at the table, fingers catching him to find Jeremy watching him with worry. “Are y-you hurt?” 

Scott slowly backs away from Jeremy’s hand before hesitating. “No. Are...are really you upset I didn’t tell you I was human?” 

“No, bastard,” Mike immediately responds. “I’m pissed I grabbed your ass and you didn’t say you were goddamn Phone Guy.” 

Jeremy laughs. “H-He couldn’t squeak Ph-Phone G-G-Guy.” 

“Like fuck he couldn’t,” Mike defends. “I’m fluent in shitty squeaks.” 

“Could’ve fooled me, Michael,” Scott can’t help smiling as he’s gifted with a smirk. It turns into a shout as he whacks at the finger poking his side. “Stop that!” 

“If you promise you’re goddamn okay.” 

“I’m fine,” Scott scowls. “I’ve been grabbed harsher.” 

“Th-Th-That won’t happen anymore,” Jeremy proclaims. Something that should make Scott worried they won’t let him out of their sight. 

Mike nods, and he doesn’t know if he can breathe. “I’m sorry for the shitty grab, but we won’t goddamn do it again unless you say okay. Not even Douche Bag will touch you.” 

And that’s when Scott realizes he should’ve told them a long time ago. The promise at least one giant at every location will be there for him if Vincent isn’t lurking in his shadow. 

“...can we hold off on telling Eggs and David?” 

“M-M-Maybe we never d-do,” Jeremy suggests, wincing at the realization Scott is handheld to all of them. 

“They pull shit on you, I’m fucking stepping on them.” 

“Until then, you’re getting earpieces so I don’t have to call you to talk.” 

Scott freezes when the last of his sentence doesn’t make the air rumble, looking up at Jeremy in confusion before the giant’s phone is looked at the same time the human spots the ‘disconnected’ words on the screen. 

“S-Sugar, it died.” 

“Fuck.” 

“Jerber’ll charge it,” Mike waves, smirking down at Scott as the younger goes to plug in his phone. “Wanna help cook lunch, Phone Guy?” 

“No,” the human begins, glancing toward the rest of the kitchen with silverware he could sit in. “Sounds like disaster waitING-!” 

Scott yells as he’s swept into a hand. The hand of a certain guard who looks more than happy to have his mentor so easily grabbable. 

“That was a fucking ‘yes’ squeak.” 

“Michael!” 

“Uh, M-Mike?” Jeremy quickly intervenes, Scott well aware his dramatic squirming that’s more based on principle rather than true anger is being watched with concern. “You shouldn’t h-hold him wh-wh-while y-you cook.” 

Mike hums in thought. “Counter or Jerber, Phone Guy?” 

Scott huffs. Points toward Jeremy. Admits he doesn’t mind sitting in the stuttering kid’s cupped hands and far away from the counter being piled with utensils and food. 

“I-I-I can put you o-on the table,” Jeremy murmurs. Beams as the human makes a point to relax completely to state he prefers the giant’s warmth. 

He’ll worry about Afton’s wrath not getting back to his office until tonight later. And hopefully the day when Eggs gets his hands on him, or David getting the opportunity to stomp on him is far away. 

For now, he couldn’t ask for better giants. 

“Can Phone Guy be put in the fucking sauce?"

“No!”

[wild-aloof-rebel]

Some Favorite Fics from 2020

Like last year, I want to end 2020 by highlighting some fics that have become favorites over the last twelve months. Before I dive into it though, I just want to take a minute to send some love to all of the authors writing in this fandom.

As of the end of 2019, there were about 8.8 million words of fic on AO3 for this fandom. This year, more than 450 authors have added another 15 million more. That’s so incredibly impressive, especially in a year this difficult. Thank you, thank you, thank you to every single person who contributed to that, whether you wrote one fic or a hundred, a drabble or a novel. Thank you for giving this fandom the gift of your creativity and voice. Your work is so, so appreciated, and you’ve helped to create joy in a year where it was often in short supply. 💗💗💗

*

Okay, on to the fics. I’ve limited myself to no more than one work for any individual author to spread the love around as much as possible, and I’ve bumped up the number to 25 this time around because there was just too much fic this year for me to cut it down any further. 

So here we go. These are 25 fics I loved this year, and what I love about them...

Your heart is keeping time with me by yourbuttervoicedbeau • rated E • 33k+ confession before i start: i’ve never actually seen 50 first dates. but i thought this AU based on it was delightful. patrick’s love for david is so big, right from the start, and i love seeing david lean into trusting himself (and patrick) over and over again

will this ever get old? by startswithhope • rated T • <1k i just like seeing them domestic and soft and happy, okay? and while most of dee’s fics are like that, this particular one is a fave because of them thinking about their future and how they’ll change over the years but love each other right on through

Just to Hold the Hands I Love by DesignatedGrape • rated T • 20k+ it’s like a warm christmas hug, full of musical trolling, gentle pining, domestic nights in, and careful attention to fashion details, which are all absolutely the kinds of things i appreciate

A Case of You by DoubleL27 • rated T • 6k+ patrick is an absolute menace in exactly the way you would expect every valentine’s day. it’s funny and sweet and ends with them in exactly the kind of future we all want for them

Dulce by another_Hero • rated T • 1k+ original characters can be hard to do right. they have to be compelling enough to fit in with these characters we already know so well, and dulce is the kind of character who grabs you from the start. the whole series is lovely, but this first interaction with ronnie is my favorite of them

Tea-Kettle Love by ArabellaStrange • rated G • 5k+ even though this coda to “the pitch” isn’t technically canon compliant now, it still feels a lot like it is. it’s about the sacrifices we are and aren’t willing to make for the people we love, taking the new york discussion into more depth than we get in the show and still arriving in largely the same place

Vanquished by Codswallop • rated G • 3k+ if you’re looking for soft, fluffy sickfic, this is not it, lol. patrick is sick here but won’t let anyone take care of him. he’s stubborn and basically minor chaos ensues. it’s funny and sweet but not schmaltzy. the characterization is 👌, and it feels like the kind of thing that fits perfectly into the world of the show

To Come Out the Other Side by unfolded73 • rated T • 4k+ • warning for major character death i don’t want to read sad things about david and patrick very often, but sometimes the mood strikes. this one is definitely sad right from the start, but there’s hope and resilience through grief, and i think this year especially, there’s something to be said for stories that can make you feel like there is still good to be found after the bad

Hold Me Like You’ll Never Let Me Go by moodlighting • rated T • 21k+ i never would have thought that a fic would make me WANT to be trapped in an airport, but it’s 2020 and anything is possible, lol. this is what meet cute dreams are made of

Your mother keeps a spreadsheet by upbeat • rated G • 3k+ obviously i love a good spreadsheet, so this one was up my alley from the start, lol. but really it’s moira and patrick bonding through the cataloguing of her wigs (and all the stories that go with them) that makes this one an easy favorite

keep me in the pulses, keep me in the sound by dinnfameron • rated G • 2k+ this sweet little slice of a summer vacation made me ache to be with friends. plus, sometimes you just need some overwhelmingly happy david rose. he deserves it, and so do we

eggs and the flour, no higher power by withkissesfour • rated T • 1k+ i’m pretty sure this fic is the definition of sweet, in more ways than one. it’s a short piece, but the writing is lush and indulgent in all the right places, just like the cakes being described

sustineo by rockinhamburger • rated E • 10k+ before i was even done reading this fic, i wanted another 50k words set in this universe. the conversation between david and patrick is sharp in all the right ways, and because this david has such a hard shell to crack after being hurt in such a horrible and heartbreaking way, it’s that much more satisfying watching patrick break through it

All-Natural Care, Locally Sourced by Siria • rated T • 2k+ siria’s fics are always funny, with banter that’s so perfectly on point, and that’s certainly true here. but there are also care packages and photos and just so much love. it’s a perfect balance, just like the show

hold on to me as you go by helvetica_upstart • rated T • 3k+ i love a good look at just how long patrick has been head over heels in love with david and how much he was in this for life all along. this fic does just that through the framework of times that they saw their new house before they bought it, and it’s everything that you would want that concept to be and more

Exposed Brick by swat117 • rated M • 9k+ this is such a lovely look at david and patrick a few years into their marriage, steady in all the right ways, even when old fears try to rise up between them. it gives david a chance to be the solid and supportive one in the relationship, something i never get tired of reading

We Could Turn the World to Gold by middyblue • rated T • 27k+ as someone who also did c25k at one point, i def empathize with david’s plight in this fic, lol. as much fun as that part of the story is, it’s really the house and everything related to that part of the story that makes this a favorite in my book. this was posted very early in s6, so it’s not the house from canon, but it’s beautiful either way to see them so excited about building their future together there

Waiting on the Day by High-Seas-Swan • rated E • 22k+ this is another fic that makes me absolutely ache for things i couldn’t have this year, namely my favorite local brewery and all the nights spent there with friends. beyond that, it’s just a very sweet AU, and the scene with their first kiss and the rest of that night live in my head rent free

Pot o’ Gold by ahurston • rated E • 22k+ where is the leprechaun/love of my life who’s gonna take me out to eat all of the best foods that my city has to offer? this one is a slow burn but their relationship is so much fun to read right from the start that you definitely don’t mind taking your time getting there. also, the palm reading scene. good grief.

there is no design by the_hodag • rated T • 12k+ this fic gives us a look at some of david’s art, and all the loneliness and love that inspires it. it’s poignant and painful and hopeful and sweet in turn, and i think it does a marvelous job of capturing so many of the facets of david’s past that have made him who he is

A Little Broken, A Little New by nameless_bliss • rated G • 3k+ i’ve read this fic several times now, and david and johnny having a conversation about their own relationship through the guise of talking about patrick and his parents never fails to make me cry

Une très bonne table dans sa catégorie by cromarty • rated T • 23k+ just the concept of this one alone would have sold me on it—like, hello? michelin reviewer and chef? sign me the fuck up—but it’s written with the kind of attention to detail i always expect from claire’s writing, and the fact that it practically starts with a first kiss but then pulls back makes for a delicious dynamic as they build a friendship over that foundational attraction, both tempering and intensifying the wait for them to find their way back into each others’ arms

happy golden days of yore by blueink3 • rated E • 17k+ i literally stopped in the middle of this fic, sat down on my kitchen floor, and had a good cry. i hate thinking about them ending up divorced in the first place, but even as exes, they’re so careful and gentle with one another and so, so clearly still in a forever kind of love. that makes it bearable to see them apart because even if it weren’t tagged for a happy ending, there’s such a feeling of inevitability to it, you know exactly how it’s going to end and just get to enjoy the devastating ride it takes to get there

Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman • rated M • 30k+ this is one of those fics where everything comes together just right and achieves a perfect balance of introspection and action, courage and fear, despair and hope, forthright honesty and cautious reservation... MoreHuman makes it all look easy, which says so much about all the care that had to have gone into the planning and writing. this fic does everything well, and it’s an absolute pleasure to read from start to end

840 Havenwood Road E by Distractivate • rated E • 10k+ we barely see david and patrick’s new house in the show, so it shouldn’t be possible for me to be as emotional about it as this fic makes me, every single time i read it. but it’s the home they chose, the place they decided to build a life together, and getting to see flashes of that life through the years and how much love they clearly had for each other within those four walls just makes me cry again and again

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here is every unraveled episode (as of may 2020) as how they’d be as a lover | a 2.5k word long post written in the style of an unraveled about unraveled and also love

Ah. Unraveled. Polygon’s golden boy of a video series where Brian David Gilbert is beckoned into a suit, lured into a blackbox studio, and is only granted escape after he has explained to three cameras whatever batshit video game adjacent thesis he has been cursed with this time. Unraveled is a wonderful video series, and we all love it.

But what if it could love us?

If you’ve ever asked this question to yourself, boy, do I have some content for you, because for the past 2 days, I’ve been working on this post where, for entirely too long, I explain to you how each Unraveled episode would be as a lover. And more importantly, which ones would be the best lovers.

Before I fall deep into this unhinged hole and take you down with me, I need to explain some things.

First: I want to make it clear that I am not categorizing BDG as he portrays himself in each Unraveled. I am instead taking each Unraveled episode as a fully formed being, the story, performance, etc, and letting that shape a character of its own. This character is where I extrapolate details from to create an Unraveled episode’s qualities as a lover. What I’m basically doing is anthropomorphizing Polygon dot com video content. And then making you date them. If this doesn’t make sense, don’t worry, it will as you read along. And if it helps you to visualize the Unraveled Episode As A Lover, I invite you to just imagine whomever it is you are most attracted to---or for those who don’t experience attraction, whomever it is you find most aesthetically pleasing---and then just add in the wild personality traits I describe through the course of this post.

Second: I know what you’re thinking. “Avian, the characteristics of what makes a good lover is subjective!” And I wholeheartedly agree. I’ve been through college, and I’ve witnessed my friends whom I love so dearly enter relationships with some of the most wack ass motherfuckers I’ve ever met. I know that people are into different things. But do I judge them for it? Well, kinda, yeah! Yes, what we want in a lover is subjective, but I’ve consumed a metric fuckton of romance media over the course of my life and am also in a wonderful relationship with my own girlfriend, and thus have my own personal idealized ranking for what makes a good lover. Feel free to disagree with my rankings of Unraveled Lovers, but also, I’m writing this post. I say this with as much love as I possibly can, but if you disagree with me, make your own post. If you don’t wanna make your own post, you’re just going to have to trust me for 2.1k more words.

With that out of the way, let me take you on a journey through the 23 Unraveled Lovers, from worst to best.

BAD TIER: I would probably advise you to break up with these Unraveled Lovers as soon as you are emotionally capable of doing so.

Hoo boy, we’re starting at the bottom. The perfectionists, the nitpickers, the emotionally unavailables. These Unraveled Lovers would have good intentions, but just have aspects within their personality that will wear you and your relationship together down until both of you can no longer take it.

“Ranking all 200+ Megaman robots” is a lover obsessed with the concept of “is this worth it?” They would unknowingly but inevitably rank parts of your own personality on a scale of ‘worth the trouble in this relationship’ and ‘not worth the trouble’. Any lover who deals with you with this kind of dichotomy is somebody you should not be with. You should be accepted and loved for all your parts, the beautiful and the ugly.

“How to make the perfect E3 press conference” is a lover who spent years consuming romance media and has a list of what makes the perfect relationship. So not only do they have unrealistic expectations for what a relationship is, but they will be obsessed with reaching that unreachable perfection. That will definitely put a strain on your relationship until the veneer of desired perfection crumbles away, leaving you both tired and sad.

On a less deep note, “How to tell apart all 596 Fire Emblem characters” just won’t remember any of the names of your friends or family. Sure, they’ll try, but they’ll give up in like 15 minutes and you’ll never be able to take this Unraveled Lover to a family reunion or a party with your friends. Probably not a dealbreaker, but as the Spice Girls said “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” This Unraveled Lover will not. Next.

“No one asked but I found Mortal Kombat’s best cuddler” and “I wasted 3 weeks of my life finding Castlevania’s hottest monster” are two Unraveled Lovers with a similar problem: they both won’t shut the fuck up about their exes. Mortal Kuddler constantly brings up all the other cuddles they’ve experienced and Castlevanias Hottest Monster will tell you you’re beautiful, but also bring up like 69 other monsters they think are also beautiful. This might not be a red flag, but personally, this would tire me out, always being thought of in comparison or contrast to others.

That ends the BAD TIER and brings us to the OKAY TIER where a large chunk of the Unraveled Lovers fall into, so much so that I had to create more specific sub tiers under the OKAY TIER.

So let’s get into the OKAY TIER: These Unraveleds Lovers are alright, you’ll just have a sublimely weird relationship.

These Unraveled Lovers will treat you right but they’re also just very peculiar. Nothing wrong with that at all, but I’m here to explain to you just in what ways these okayest lovers are bizarre. Let’s start with the first sub tier.

OKAY SUB TIER: College Students who are way too into their major

There are a lot of Unraveled Lovers under this subtier, and this shouldn’t surprise you, because Unraveleds are inherently nerdy. These are lovers that will be good to you but also just never fucking shut up about what it is they’re studying.

“I read all 337 books of Skyrim so that you don’t have to” and "Understanding Kingdom Hearts (and every other story" are Creative Writing majors obsessed with analyzing every single thing they read. As a Creative Writing major myself, I would advise you to never date a Creative Writing major unless you are a Creative Writing major yourself. I think that’s the only way the relationship can be ethical. Being sent essays from the New Yorker every day would be torture if you didn’t actively enjoy it.

“We made all 78 Breath of Wild recipes in one day” is a Culinary Arts major and, score, they’re gonna wanna cook for you! A lot! Beware though, because it’ll be a hit or miss on whether or not the food will be good, but you must admit, that there is nothing quite as attractive as your lover making you food (let’s just hope the food doesn’t harm you).

“Smash Bros. owes millions of dollars in OSHA violations” is going to law school and that should be a dealbreaker in itself, but I’ll be a bit lenient because they’re always working towards the safety of everybody. This Unraveled Lover will always remind you to put your seatbelt on and also tell you exactly what laws you are violating.

“Bowser’s military hierarchy” is a Political Science major, and Political Science majors scare me. So I’ll just say they’re okay, and leave it at that.

“Which Dark Souls Boss is the best manager?” is a rare non-evil Management major because they actually truly care for the welfare of employees. They just will always talk about it, even when you guys are on a date. I know worker’s rights are important, but it’s not exactly what I want to talk about in between kisses, yknow?

“I fixed Fallout’s music by creating a totally new genre” is a Music major who keeps accidentally making Ska love songs to you. You didn’t know Ska love songs could be a thing. This Unraveled Lover makes it a thing.

“Scientifically Calculating the Game of the Year” is a Math major so you will never have to worry about calculating bills because they can do it for you.

“Calculate your pet’s HP with my 100% legitimate formula” is a Veterinary Medicine major so if you’re an animal lover, this Unraveled is the one for you! Just beware, because this Unraveled Lover will also spend a lot of time observing you from afar to quantify your health points, but both of you will inexplicably find this activity strengthens your relationship.

And last but not least for this sub tier, “When can Mario retire?” is a disillusioned Accounting and Finance major who chose this line of study to get a job and, through the years, realized what a hellscape capitalism is. You may have to deal with a lot of zoning out and staring off into the distance, with this Unraveled Lover, but a lover who hates capitalism sure is a good egg.

That brings us to our next sub tier!

OKAY SUB TIER: Cultists or Conspiracy Theorists (AKA...College Students who are way too into their extracurriculars)

These Unraveled Lovers are alright! They’re just a little bit off the shits.

“Every Sonic game is blasphemous” will get really really worked up about things and probably try to start a cult. For most, that’s a definite dealbreaker, but what makes Sonic Bible an okay lover is that they eventually calm down from the cult outburst and apologize. So this Unraveled Lover will treat you well, you just have to be ready to ground them when they get a little bit bonkers.

“Solving the Zelda Timeline in 15 minutes” is very similar to Sonic Bible, except instead of starting a cult, every once in a while they’ll just sit you down on a chair and explain to you their latest obsession while slowly and intensely stripping. Which, hey, that could make for a fun night, if you’re into that kinda stuff! Definitely okay in my book.

That brings us to our last okay sub tier.

OKAY SUB TIER: Your Unraveled Lover might need to schedule some sessions with a therapist, and that’s Okay

Listen, we all have baggage. We all have problems. These are Unraveled Lovers who want to be the best for you, but at the same time have issues of their own, and you’re going to have to support them when they pop into their local psych clinic to make themselves better people.

“Waluigi” is an Unraveled Lover who is going through some identity issues. They want to be good for you, but they don’t even know who exactly they are. They may feel as if they are tricking you into being in this relationship, that they aren’t who you think they are, and while these fears are irrational, they wholeheartedly believe it and will never feel fully secure in this relationship until they have made peace with themselves. If you love this Unraveled Lover, you’re going to have to stick with them as they learn more about who they are.

“Kirby” is an Unraveled Lover who, for some reason, is obsessed with the constant quest to make things make sense. This need of theirs bleeds into every aspect of their life and can definitely affect your relationship. This Unraveled Lover may sometimes perhaps cite that they don’t deserve you because they can’t seem to figure out a logical and objective answer for why you are with them. This issue of treating everything like a puzzle to solve is an issue they will have to work out and recover from, and they will be receptive to this process of recovery because they cherish the relationship they have with you and understand that not everything has to be solved; some things can just be felt. If you choose to stay with this Unraveled Lover, you must be prepared to support them when they take a mysterious but needed soul searching journey in the woods. You must be prepared to sit with them along the shores of the beach and reassure them that life is about living, not about answers.

And that, dear readers, ends the OKAY TIERs. Now it’s time for the tier you have all been waiting for.

Drumroll, please!

GOOD TIER: Pop open the champagne, bring out the strawberries dipped in chocolate, and let Spotify play Careless Whisper, baby, because we’re in the Ideal Lover zone.

Welcome to the Ideal Lover Zone. Here, we have three Unraveled Lovers who are just extremely good fellas.

“I used the Sims to perfect my apartment” is an Unraveled Lover who will work their hardest to be the best for you, but unlike the BAD TIER perfectionists, it will naturally dawn to them that perfection is unattainable. After this realization, they will find comfort and happiness in your romantic relationship and the other healthy relationships they have with other people. This Unraveled Lover will be sincere with you when the time calls for it, but will also not be afraid to be goofy for it. Above all, this Unraveled Lover will ask for help when they need it. They may often be shy, at first, but they understand their limits and will openly communicate to you when situations call for it. Communication is the bedrock of any good relationship, and this Unraveled Lover will never keep you guessing.

“The Perfect Pokerap” is similar to the Sims, in the sense that they will at first strive for perfection in the honeymoon phase of your relationship but then understand that that isn’t possible and then set more reasonable and realistic goals. What sets this Unraveled Lover out from the crowd though is just how much they cherish you. How devoted they are to you. The love you will feel in this relationship will be transcendental, and, even if you do break up, this Unraveled Lover will never forget you.

And finally. Who---according to me, a mildly delirious 21 year old rando on the internet---is the most ideal Unraveled Lover?

It’s “Find your Kojima name with my simple 11 page form.” Why? Because this Unraveled Lover wants to know you. They want to know everything about you, the parts you like and the parts you don’t like. This is a lover who will not shy away from any aspect of yourself, but instead, embrace you for who you are as a full fledged person.

They’ll also give you a whack ass pet name, and boy, isn’t that romantic?

Well, there you have it. All (as of May, 2020) of the Unraveled Episodes as 23 Unraveled Lovers. What did I learn from this endeavor? That romantic love is complicated, but if you’re into it, it is definitely worth the trials and tribulations.

...As long as I’m not dating the Castlevania Unraveled. Seriously, when we’re making out, I don’t wanna hear about how sexy the Hyena With Gun is. Learn how to read the room, dude.

(Thanks for reading.)

[therachelperspective]

FILM | Black Widow [2021, dir. Cate Shortland]

I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for the character of Black Widow. She was the only female hero – at least in the early days of the MCU’s Avengers films – amongst a sea of men. She kicked ass without super or godly powers, she had a mysterious past before her days with S.H.I.E.L.D. There were a plethora of details that made her interesting. So the fact that it took so long for her receive her own film is blasphemous to begin with. Through the media’s hype before the film’s official release, and the claims made about Black Widow’s place in the MCU, I believe my expectations going into viewing the film were more than they should have been, and that plays a big part in why I am less than pleased with the final result.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still incredibly glad that Black Widow received her own film because you’re damn straight she deserves it, but if you’re going to declare that it will be explaining Budapest, explaining the Red Room and the creation of the Widows, explaining more of Natasha’s past (and if it was not declared as such, it’s still what we as viewers would have wanted after all this time)... Needless to say, I would have preferred an actual origins film instead of whatever this was. It’s placement as a little blip between Civil War and Infinity War, as a “What was Nat up to?” sort of thing, felt ill-placed in the MCU timeline, especially since an epilogue scene puts her amidst the period of Infinity War (as shown with her short blonde hair), and the after-credits scene jumps even further forward in time to post-Endgame. Sure, there were scenes that took place in Budapest during Black Widow, but what happened there previously and any interaction with Clint before she became part of S.H.I.E.L.D. was only briefly (and I mean VERY BRIEFLY) mentioned in a short passing scene. The Red Room and how Natasha became a Widow, still only touched on in mere moments during an opening sequence, nothing more than what we’ve seen in previous Avengers films (i.e. Age of Ultron’s flashback scenes). But her time as part of the KGB? Any interaction with the Winter Soldier? Completely absent. Black Widow, unfortunately, failed in my perspective to do anything other than bring her back together with her old “family” and then, with them, merely going through a bunch of a big budget fight/escape scenes with the bad guys. When I then also read that director Cate Shortland had no experience directing budget action films, I came to the realization that Black Widow did rely a great deal on fantastical visuals to distract from the limited story, and it didn’t even do it that well. Instead of a true glimpse into the past of a most tight-lipped Avenger, we get another bang-bang-shoot-’em-up action movie to add more red to her ledger. Every male Avenger got better story treatment, over a series of films no less, than Natasha in her one and probably only standalone tale. Long story short: sure, they gave Black Widow a film, but they still did her reaaaal dirty.

Despite its incredible shortcomings, I’m still trying hard to like it. I want to like it, and enjoy what I was given. The humor throughout the film, especially from David Harbor’s Alexei Shostakov (a.k.a. the very obvious comedic relief character), was entertaining; Rachel Weisz has not seemed to age at all and it was great to see her amongst the action as mother figure and badass scientist Melina Vostokoff. But we all know the true shining star of Black Widow other than Scarlett Johansson in her final role as Natasha... was that of Florence Pugh as “baby sister” Yelena Belova. Although I was admittedly fond of Florence before seeing Black Widow, she was quite outstanding as Yelena and her chemistry with Scarlett undeniable; I really did like her in this role. It’s really no surprise that they will be/are making way for her and her character to become a bigger part of future MCU entertainment. I’m not complaining there. AND... although I was hoping for more, I also cannot complain about any “easter eggs” or commentary from Black Widow that connect it to the other films, because that’s truthfully my favorite part of the MCU as a whole – the way that everything is so intricately connected. I can’t help but smile when they make references spanning 13+ years; their dedication to that is really what makes them successful.

Was I disappointed? Yes. I won’t lie. Almost every good scene was shown in the trailers (the film itself just providing more context), and I think there was only one twist I didn’t see coming. But so much, even the details from the film itself, were poorly explained, if explained at all. I shouldn’t have had to research or come across information when reading various items on the internet to clarify as many details that I did. I shouldn’t have had to know information from the comics (which I have not read) to fill in some of the blanks. The MCU even claimed that you would not have to watch their shows in order to understand the films, when in actuality the final end-credit scene makes a helluva lot more sense if you had. Granted, I would watch the shows regardless, I just would have liked to know that I should have watched The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and/or Loki first instead of, say, Googling who the heck Valentina Allegra de Fontaine is.

Black Widow, on IMDb alone – I don’t dare venture further out into the Internet for this one – is flooded with poor reviews, and it really does pain me the amount of truth contained in the few I skimmed. Florence Pugh carried the film; Natasha was a sidekick in her own movie; Taskmaster (who I don’t know enough to say anything about here) was ruined... but the thing that bothers me most, as one reviewer stated perfectly, is that this is “the first MCU film I’ve hated, and I’m shook.”

I wouldn’t go all the way to “hate” per se, as I'll always love Marvel and the cinematic universe it has built, but... Me too, buddy. Me too.

[flowerfan2]

One Night in Milwaukee - Ch. 5

I’m considering changing the title to “One Night in Milwaukee (and a week in Florida)...”  Enjoy and please reblog!

David x Patrick, 15k so far, A03

Chapter 5

David takes his time showering and doing his hair.  He had thought that his run would center him, but all it took was one quick conversation with Patrick to knock him off balance.  

He wishes he could put his own clothes back on, but since everything he brought with him is either in the wash or soaked in sweat, it’s not an option.  Tying a towel around his waist, he goes into the bedroom and looks through Patrick’s suitcase.  He allows himself a satisfying eye roll at the contents – the expected button-downs in shades of blue and green, jeans that probably won’t even fit David, and a few plain t-shirts and pairs of khaki shorts.  David sighs and selects briefs, shorts, and an olive green t-shirt, a nondescript fashion choice that would make his mother weep.  At least he’ll only have to wear them for an hour or so until his own clothes come out of the dryer.

He finds Patrick in the kitchen, hovering next to the island.

“I made eggs,” Patrick says, sliding a plate towards him.

“Thanks.”  The eggs are just like David likes them, with a sprinkle of salt and pepper, and a piece of toast on the side.  David recognizes the wheat bread he bought yesterday on his trip to the grocery store, somewhat bland but decent enough given the heaping of butter Patrick has spread on it.

They eat in silence for a few minutes, until the stress of it is too much for David to take.

“These are good.”

“It’s just scrambled, we didn’t have any cheese-”

“I can go to the store again, I didn’t know what you’d want-”

“You don’t have to do that,” Patrick says.  “You didn’t have to go in the first place.”

“So I shouldn’t have?”

“No, no, it was great that you did…” Patrick catches David’s gaze, and they both sigh.  “Why is this so awkward?” Patrick asks, taking their now empty plates and putting them in the sink.

“I don’t know, maybe because it’s been a long time, and things are different, and we both want everything to work out?  But there’s no guarantee.” David stands up and waves his hands at the neat little kitchen and the safe tan sofa with its blue and white pillows and the “Home Sweet Home” sign on the wall with an outline of the state of Florida.  He’s not sure he’s ever felt so out of place.  “And this is not somewhere I ever expected to be, and I really don’t know what to do with it.”

Patrick nods, that sadness coming over his face again, and it makes David want to strangle someone.  Not Patrick, never Patrick.  But whoever was responsible for taking his good, decent button and making him sad.

<i>It was you, you asshole,</i> his unhelpful brain tells him, and isn’t that just the worst.

“Want to see the pool?” Patrick asks, and although David can see it perfectly well from here, he figures it can’t hurt.  At least the screens will keep the alligators away.

They go outside, and the warmth of the sunshine surprises David. It’s gotten hotter even in the past hour since he was outside.  It may be late November, but this part of the world hasn’t gotten the message.  He wanders over to the pool and dips his toes in, then sits down by the steps in the shallow end and puts his feet in the water.

Patrick comes over and lowers himself to the concrete, David reaching out automatically to give him something to brace himself against.  When Patrick starts to put his feet in David stops him with a hand to his ankle, carefully rolling up one leg of his jeans and then the other.  David’s knuckles brush against the wiry hairs on Patrick’s leg as he neatly cuffs each pant leg.  He wants to roll Patrick’s shirt sleeves up, too, reveal more of his lovely forearms, but it seems a step too far.

“Thanks.”

“Wet jeans are an abomination,” David comments.

“Kind of like you wearing my khaki shorts?”  Patrick’s mouth quirks up in an attempt at a smile, and David’s heart lifts.

“Nice.  Just a few minutes again you said I looked good.”

The hint of a smile disappears, as David’s words fail to land the way he meant.  “I’m sorry, David, am I supposed to apologize for that?  I don’t understand why it upset you.  You do look good.  Clearly you’ve been working out – aren’t you allowed to be pleased with the outcome?”

David squeezes his eyes closed and leans his head back.  “Yes?  But…” He’s not sure how to explain it.  “It’s not about vanity, or, appearance.  I know that probably sounds fake, coming from me,” he opens his eyes and looks at Patrick, who is gazing back as patient and open as ever, “but it’s true.”

“Okay,” Patrick says, clearly waiting for David to fill in the blanks.  David had hoped a discussion about this particular part of his recent history could have been put off, possibly indefinitely, but it’s feeling like one of those moments when he’ll regret it if he brushes it off again.  And maybe opening up will get Patrick to do the same.

“I was pretty depressed, after we broke up,” David says, running the tips of his fingers through the water, watching the ripples spread across the surface of the pool.  “Couldn’t get out of bed, lost interest in everything… you know how it goes.”  He’s not sure Patrick does, but he can’t help but try to make light of it, as awful as it was.  It’s hard to really focus on those months, the drag of gray haze that wouldn’t clear.  “Eventually I started seeing a therapist.”

“You mentioned that,” Patrick says, and David relaxes a fraction, because he had forgotten.  Maybe this won’t be that hard, then.  It hasn’t chased Patrick away yet.  

“Right.  Well, he recommended a bunch of stuff to try, including exercising regularly, and I resisted at first-”

“Obviously,” Patrick says.

David glares up at Patrick, who’s got his best trolling face on, deliciously familiar, and suddenly spilling his guts doesn’t seem so embarrassing anymore.  “Anyway, once I started, it wasn’t so bad.  Despite what I once told you about running… it worked for me.”  That and laying off the alcohol.

“That’s great, David.”

“Well, Alexis says I just replaced one obsession with another.”

“Is that so bad, when it’s a healthy one?”

“You didn’t have to put up with me when I couldn’t go out for a run because of crappy weather, or inconveniently scheduled vendor meetings.”

There’s a hitch in the rhythm of their banter, and Patrick takes David’s hand in his.  “I wish I did.  I wish I was there.”

David feels his chest tighten, and he gives Patrick’s hand a squeeze.  “Me too.”

They sit there with their feet in the water, like little kids in a backyard wading pool.  There’s no breeze to speak of, but it’s not completely quiet.  The sound of the highway a few streets away provides a bit of background noise, and a weird bird keeps making a strangled chirpy sound from a hedge on the side of the house.  

David’s past encounters with Florida involved multi-million-dollar yachts, tanned supermodels, and free-flowing booze and drugs, not this strange version of suburbia.  He imagines this house sitting empty for most of the year, waiting for its owners to come and visit.  How many of the cookie cutter three-bedrooms in this neighborhood are empty right now?  How many swimming pools are noticed only by the staff who come by weekly to clean them and make sure nothing has crawled into the filters and died?

“This water’s probably terrible for your skin,” David says, and Patrick looks at him in mild confusion.  “Because of all the chemicals.”  

Patrick shrugs.  “I guess.”

“There are chemicals in here, right?”

“I don’t know, which would upset you more – the amount of chlorine dumped in here or the water being left in its natural state?”

David pulls his feet out of the water and stretches his legs to the side, the concrete warm on his heels.   “I’m honestly not sure.  But maybe we shouldn’t take any chances.”

Patrick stands up, leaning hard on David’s shoulder as he goes.  “Wait here.  I’ll be right back.”

David stays put, although now that he’s thinking about what might be in the pool water he wouldn’t mind rinsing off and applying some lotion.  Or some hand sanitizer.

Patrick comes back out of the house with an armload of cushions and drops them onto the lounge chairs by the other end of the pool.  “Come help me set these up.”

It only takes a moment to unfold the brightly patterned cushions and tie them into place (ah, there’s the Hawaiian floral, David thinks to himself).  While David is arranging the loungers to his liking, facing the sun, Patrick comes back with two bottles of water.  David twists off the top and rinses his feet while Patrick squawks at him.

“What?  Was that not what this was for?”  He tries not to smile.

“David.  That water was to drink.  There’s an outdoor shower over there.”  Patrick points to the side of the house, then seems to regret his decision.  “But don’t walk out there without shoes, okay?”

“What, will the baby alligators nip at my toes?”

Patrick grins at him.  “No, but the fire ants will.”

“What the hell kind of place is this?”

“It’s just nature, David.  As long as you wear shoes in the grass, you’ll be fine.”

“I feel like the state of Florida must have had some really good marketing professionals along the way.  Alexis should get a job with them.  They’ve managed to convince people that this pest-ridden swampland is worth something.”

“Arguably that is kind of what happened.  You know Disney World was built on reclaimed swampland, right?”

“I did not know that.”

“Anyway, this neighborhood isn’t all there is.  Give me another day to rest up, then I’ll show you around.”

Another day to rest isn’t really going to cut it, David thinks, watching Patrick wince as he eases himself down in the chair.  He wonders again what Patrick had in mind when he made his escape to the sunshine state, which brings them right back to the conversation Patrick keeps avoiding.

“Patrick, how long, exactly, are you planning on staying here?”  David asks, hoping that the direct approach might actually get him an answer.

Patrick stares up at the sky.  “I don’t know.”

Patrick’s hair looks like polished copper in the sunlight, but David tries not to let it distract him.  “How much time can you take off from work?” David presses.  “Or are you working remotely doing… whatever you are doing now?”

Patrick takes a long gulp from his water bottle, then stares at his feet.  “I’m unemployed.  I lost my job about a month ago,” he says bitterly.

“Oh.”  David is surprised, to say the least, especially by Patrick’s tone.  He’s always seemed like he would be the ideal employee, eager to please and determinedly hardworking.  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah.  Well, after you piss off a major customer, it’s hard to convince your employer to retain you.”

“It can’t have been that bad.  I don’t think I can imagine you pissing off a customer.”

“It was, and I did.”

“What on earth did you do?”

“Do you really want to know?”

David sits up and squints at Patrick, no longer enjoying the sun on his face. He doesn’t even have sunglasses with him, a major miscalculation. “Yes, of course.”

Patrick leans back and closes his eyes.  “I was working as an account manager at a software company.  It was boring as hell.  Sales, mostly, skating by with just enough technical knowledge about the product to capture the customer’s interest, and then serving as the liaison between the customer and the tech guys who actually knew what they were doing.  But I kept screwing things up, and when the customers would want to know why the contract didn’t have the terms they wanted, or why I was taking so long to get back to them, I just didn’t have the patience to deal with it.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

Patrick opens his eyes and looks at David, and he looks almost as bewildered as David is.  “No, it doesn’t, does it?”

David has the feeling there’s more to this story, but Patrick doesn’t elaborate, and all David really wants to do is give him a hug.

“You know, I have a feeling you don’t have an ounce of sunscreen on.  You’re going to be bright red if we stay out here any longer.”  David stands up and holds out a hand to Patrick, then slides his arm around his back to pull him up.  When they’re both upright, he loops his arms around Patrick’s neck and pulls him close.

Patrick presses his face against David’s neck.  “I’m a mess, David,” he says, his breath hot on David’s skin.  “I don’t know what happened to me.”

“I think we’ve both been a little lost,” David says, holding Patrick tight.  “But I know what will fix it.”

“Yeah?”  There’s an almost pathetically hopeful note in Patrick’s voice.

“Absolutely.”

“What?”

“Running.  Miles of it.  Every day.  It’s a miracle drug.”  David is struggling to keep up his serious tone, and not quite succeeding.

Patrick chokes out a laugh, pressing a hand against his ribs.  “I don’t think I’m quite up for running yet.”

“Well fine, then, you’ll just have to watch me do it.  It’s almost as good.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Patrick says, and kisses David soundly.  David hesitates for a second and then enthusiastically participates, and they are both breathing heavily by the time they pull apart.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought that on?” David asks as they go inside, the shade welcome after the bright sunshine.  He keeps a hand on Patrick as they go, not so much to make sure he doesn’t fall over but because he doesn’t want to lose this connection, now that he’s found it again.

Patrick takes hold of David’s waist, his eyes on David’s brighter than they’ve looked in days.  “You.  I thought I was dreaming, sometimes, remembering how much I liked you – loved you, too, but just fucking liked you.  But I wasn’t.”

“I’m the best,” David says, half-joking, but there’s a familiar happiness bursting inside his chest.

“You are, David.  You really are.”

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Empires on the Horizon VIII

Jason is a CEO: Part VIII

Push (should defs listen with earphones at an insane volume at 1am- i’m not talking from experience)

Here’s my masterlist for the next part and my other stuff

This is a helllllaaaaa long chapter y’all. I just couldn’t bear to cut it. Please enjoy.

push it

push it

back up on me

make me believe you want me

-Enrique Iglesias and Lil Wayne

Friday arrived with bright blue skies and an icy winter wind. Jason breathed in the crisp air, letting it flow through his lungs as he slowed to a walk. He hadn’t gone on many morning runs since, well since Luke, and he missed the quiet of the streets and the fresh smells of Bakery Avenue. His anticipation for the night was lightning crackling under his skin. They had signed the contract with Harley Davids yesterday, but today he would have to call Octavian and break the news. He didn’t want to have that conversation but being the CEO of the company meant dealing with the highs and the lows. He was buttoning his shirt when his phone dinged on the side table, so he abandoned the task, letting it fall open, and opened his messages.

Zoe: open up ;)

Jason: Like emotionally?

A knocking echoed through the apartment and he raced to open the door. Zoe stood on the other side laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes. She looked ethereal. A white dress hugged her figure and the gold jewellery hanging from her neck rivalled her glow. He just stood there watching her, enraptured in everything that she was. Finally she stopped giggling, taking deep breaths to calm herself, and looked up to see him staring.

“What?”

“You’re gorgeous.”

She smiled at that, “And you’re hilarious.”

“What are you doing here?” He grabbed her hand and pulled them together.

“I came to visit before you rushed into work. I’m off today because your lovely assistant is taking me out before tonight. I don’t have party clothes,” She scrunched her nose.

“Oh Haze didn’t tell me she was taking today off?” He frowned.

“I think she’s playing hookie.” Amusement danced on her lips.

He laughed at that, “I don’t think you’re supposed to be tell her boss­–”  He gasped, “Your hands…”

Zoe looked up at him innocently, fingers roaming distractedly on his bare torso, “My hands are what?”

“Cold,” He breathed, “Your hands are cold.”

“You don’t seem to be that upset,” She said cheekily, looking down at his rising evidence.

“Little minx!” He wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her into the house.

Her laugh was music in his ears, a song he wanted to hear on repeat. She threaded her fingers in his hair and tugged gently so he was looking up at her.

“You’re cute.”

He buried his nose into her neck as she slowly slid down his body and onto the fleece rug of his bedroom, “You’re cuter.”

“Wanna play a game?”

He raised an eyebrow, suspicious of the gleam in her eye, “What game?”

“How late can we make you for work?”

His eyes blazed, blue becoming impossibly bright, “Let’s find out.”

And then his lips were on hers, like the beginning, middle and end. She was soft and supple and melted against him in a way he had never known. A low moan dragged from his throat as she sunk her teeth into his bottom lip, and then eased the sting with a swipe of her tongue. They explored each other languidly, relishing in the feel of whatever bloomed between them. Without breaking contact they moved towards the bed and fell onto those white sheets, smiling into each other.

Jason walked into his office building with a Cheshire grin on his face and the halo of someone who had been properly–

“Mr Grace!”

He turned around to see a girl coming towards him, sneakers squeaking incessantly against the marble.

“Yes, can I help you?”

“I’m just passing on a message from Aphrodite’s Armour. Drew and Silena would like to take you up on your offer to find them a replacement for the time they’re gone.”

“Oh of course! I’ll call them immediately. And your name Miss?”

“Lacy,” She beamed, “Nice to meet you Mr Grace. I’ve heard so much about you.”

He smiled, studying the girl, who was starting to look younger and younger with every passing second. “All good things I hope?”

“Absolutely. Drew and ‘Lena talk about you all the time. They say you’re the nicest man they’ve ever met.”

“Well thank you kindly. How do you know the ladies?”

“Oh I’m Drew’s little sister. Well half-sister on my mom’s side but you know what they say, ‘the blood of the convent is thicker than the water of the womb.’ She honestly means more to me than just a sister anyway.  I’m visiting them before school goes back next week. They’re a little busy today. Two ladies, oh they were gorgeous you know,” She nodded her head vigorously, “Anyway they came into the shop about a half hour ago and they’ve been there ever since.”

Jason had a feeling he knew who it was, and a lopsided smile crept onto his face. “Thank you very much Miss Lacy. Please tell your sister and her fiancé I will get on finding them a temp as soon as possible. Do you need a ride back to the shop?”

“Oh no thank you sir, Drew’s allowed me to explore the city for a little, while they’re busy.”

“Oh,” He looked at her thoughtfully, “Well do you need a guide?”

Her eyes lit up, “Mr Grace but aren’t you so busy?”

“I am busy I’m afraid, but I was thinking of someone more your age who can show you all the cool spots.”

“Oh,” She hummed, head tilted in consideration, “Okay Mr Grace. Who is it?”

“Why don’t you come up to my office and I’ll give them a call. You can also call your sister and tell her the plan?”

“Sounds good! Do you really have candy in every office? And do you always celebrate valentine’s day by giving all your employees roses? Isn’t valentine’s day just the loveliest concept Mr Grace? A whole day dedicated to anything and everything you love. There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. George Sand. Delightful isn’t it? And did someone really bring a pinata to work to hit whenever they were stressed? And do you always wear fancy clothes? Do you like jeans Mr Grace? Oh I have so many questions.”

And before Jason could answer any of them, she was already onto the next.

“Oh wow is that a whole room just for board games? And how come this room is green and this room is red? Why do you have a wall of hand-prints? Do you celebrate Easter by hiding eggs? You know, Mr Grace, I’ve always admired you. When Drew told me you were starting a business to help communities, I immediately wanted to use you for my project at school. I’m taking economics you know?” Her brown eyes looked up at him then, and he opened his mouth to answer her, only to be led astray.

“I want to start a dance school when I’m older. I believe dance is the movement of the soul. Isn’t that the most lovey thing you’ve ever heard? When you dance your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It is to enjoy each step along the way. Wayne Dyer said that. Dancing is a bit like life isn’t it? In that funny way that it’s not about the end it’s about the moments, the journey.”

“Indeed Miss Lacy.” He nodded at her, thinking about the words.

“Wow Mr Grace,” Her eyes were wide as she took in his office, “This is beautiful. I don’t know how anyone can be unhappy when you have a view like this.”

“It’s certainly difficult,” His lips twitched as she walked around the room; dragging her fingers across the white couch and studying the bookshelf opposite with trinkets from his travels and various books, both fiction and non.

He sat down at his desk and quickly called who he needed to before handing the phone to Lacy to call Drew. When that was done, she went back to looking at his things.

“Books are mirrors; you only see in them what you already have inside you. That’s from The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruis Zafon. Do you like to read Mr Grace?”

“Yes, do you?”

She nodded, then shook her head, then scrunched her nose and flopped down on the couch. “I love the idea of reading, you know the cup of tea, and the rain, and getting lost in a completely different world, but whenever I sit down to actually do it– I just can’t seem to get past a couple sentences before my brain is thinking about something else. Silena, oh I adore her Mr Grace. She’s just the nicest lady and she’s so patient with me even when I ask her a million questions, I’m so glad I get to call her my sister-in-law. Anyway she tried to sit down with me and read but I just couldn’t do it. Even Uncle Charles has tried, and you know he has all the patience in the world, but I think after twenty minutes even he was starting to lose it. So you see I think there may be something wrong in my brain.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.” He gave her a small smile.

She sat up suddenly and looked directly at him, “You don’t?”

“Not at all. Some people can sit down and read for hours and some people can’t, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them.”

“Even if they’re like me and they want to read?”

“Even then,” His smile was wider now, “Have you tried audiobooks?”

“No?” Her cheeks were flushed with excitement as she hung off the edge of the couch in anticipation.

“A narrator reads the books and you just have to listen to them. Like how people told you stories when you were younger.”

“So you mean I can listen to them and do other things at the same time? Like dance? Or draw? Or schoolwork?”

“That’s exactly it. People listen to audiobooks on the train, in the car, when they’re exercising.”

“Mr Grace!” She jumped up and slammed into him, “Oh you truly are the most wonderful man! I am so glad I met you. To think if I hadn’t, I’d be suffering forevermore.”

“I’m glad I could help,” He laughed, returning her hug. “And look here are your personal tour guides now.”

In walked Jake Mason and Kayla Knowles, two of the students in a school he funded and some of the brightest kids he’d ever met.

“Oh wow, I love your hair!” Lacy exclaimed, pointing at the green streaks in Kayla’s bright red locks.

“And your shoes are to die for!” Kayla squealed, pointing at Lacy’s sneakers, decked in paint splatters and writing over every inch of the canvas.

Jake Mason, a usually shy person immediately gravitated towards Lacy’s bubbly aura and in a matter of moments the three were chattering away.

“Alright little ones, I’ve got work to do. Don’t get into too much trouble and if you need anything you call me okay.”

“Sure Mr Grace.” Came the chorus of replies and then the young teens were bounding out of his office and into their adventure.

Jason on the other hand had a less than ideal quest to complete, and traitorous Hazel had ditched him for a shopping spree. He had a good mind to hide her stash of chocolate as payback.

He took a deep breath and dialled the number to Titan Industries.

“Titan Industries, Mr O’s assistant, how can I help you?”

“Hello sir, it’s Jason Grace from Anemoi Empire. Could you put me through to him please?”

“Just a moment.”

And then he heard a click and the oily voice of Octavian crackled through the phone.

“Ah Mr Grace, I was expecting a call.”

“Octavian, I hope you are well. I’m just calling to say we won’t be contracting with you. It has been a,” He swallowed, forcing the next words out, “A pleasure, but we have found someone who better suits our interests.”

“Well,” the sharpness is a knife Jason can feel resting on his cheek, “I certainly didn’t expect this. I hope you know what you’re doing Grace.”

“Yes Octavian. Again thank you for your patience and I wish you all the best for the future.”

“Goodbye Grace.” Was the icy reply and then his phone beeped with the end dial-tone.

He rubbed a finger across his brow and took a deep, steadying breath. At least that’s over. Now to finish up some admin and get out of here. He had friends waiting for him.

***

“Jason!” Zoe squealed, crashing into him.

“Hello my stella,” He hugged her and then pulled her back to stare, devour.

A soft-cream satin dress draped over her, like it felt privileged to be there. It cut off at mid-thigh and left you no choice but to drag your eyes down till you were met with the ribbon straps of her matching shoes. She had taken out her braids, and her hair, tightly coiled, was now cropped closely to her head. She looked unbelievable and he told her as much.

“You ready to go?”

“Hell yes! I want to meet your friends.”

“I’m glad you’re excited. I’m sure you’re going to hear embarrassing stories about me all night.”

She grinned at him, “All the better.”

They arrived at Trepsichore, or Treps to the locals, where the lively sound of chatter and music were already weaving through the atmosphere. The gang had started coming to this place the day it opened, and they still haven’t found a better club; although they could be biased since it was owned by Connor Stoll, a good friend of theirs.

“Oh Leo, I am leaving you for Jason’s lady.” Annabeth Chase stood up from her stool and walked around to greet them.

Zoe laughed, and embraced the blonde, “Jason would it be rude if I agreed. You won’t take offence, will you?”

He feigned hurt, pouting at them and pulling Leo towards him, “I think they’re dumping us Firefly. Wanna get married? At least we won’t break each other’s hearts.”

“I’m down buddy, anything for you.” Leo cupped his cheek and brought their faces together.

“Didn’t we promise we’d never do this again?”

“Yes but that was before our girlfriends decided to leave us for each other.”

“Are we interrupting something?” Hazel Levesque giggled, as she and Frank saddled up to their table.

“Annabeth and Zoe are leaving us for each other,” Leo sighed.

“Oh yes I do agree. Frank darling you wouldn’t mind, would you?”

Frank gave her a sordid smile, “Please leave me, wouldn’t mind a bit.”

“Oh gods we’re going to be all alone because our girlfriends love each other more than us.” Jason groaned, looking between his friends.

Annabeth swung her arm over Zoe’s shoulder and grabbed Hazel’s hand, “It was inevitable; you can’t expect me to give up my chance with someone who looks like they could murder me and kiss me with the same degree of passion.”

“Hello, hello everyone!” Reyna waved, tugging Percy behind her.

“Hello babe,” Hazel kissed her cheek, and hugged her counterpart.

Everyone took their turns saying hello and just as they were settling in the last of the group made their way to the table.

“Di Angelo,” Leo spotted them first.

“Sorry we’re late everyone. School meetings ran a bit overtime.”

“Is that code for you two were fooling around in the supply closet again?” Jason teased.

Nico blushed a bright red and Will laughed.

“We aren’t teenagers anymore Grace.” Black eyes narrowed at him.

“Oh to be that young and free again,” Leo sighed, flinging a hand over his forehead.

“What on earth was going on before we got here?” Percy asked, motioning between them.

“Annabeth and Hazel are leaving us for Zoe,” Frank said, rolling his eyes teasingly.

Reyna pouted. “You guys started a girl gang without me?”

“It’s more like a cult if you ask me,” Leo mumbled.

“A sapphic group is the preferred term,” Zoe interjected.

“GAY!” Nico grinned at them.

“Well that’s not a surprise to anyone.” Annabeth laughed, “And of course you’re part of it Reyna. These boys can form their own group if they want.”

“How is it six against four and we’re still losing?” Percy mused.

“It always happens like this.” Leo flashed him a look, “Their badassery outweighs us ten to one every time.”

“And don’t you forget it Valdez.” They all chorused.

The night went much the same way, ribbing at each other, reminiscing, telling embarrassing stories. Jason couldn’t help but stare at his friends, at these people who he loved with every part of him. They all burst into laughter at something Nico said, and he felt his soul bloom, felt his lungs expand, and his heart grow to the point of pain. Besides his sister he did not have any family so to have found one, chosen one, was a feeling he wanted to immortalize in his bloodstream, let it be the magic that sparks the stardust in his veins.

“You ready to dance pretty boys?” Reyna smirked, grabbing Zoe’s hand and sashaying to the floor.

Leo’s excitement was infectious, “Coming? My Latino ass needs to move.”

Frank started saying no almost immediately and Nico firmly agreed but Will insisted they at least hang around on the side of the bar closest to the floor. Jason followed the rest of them to where the life of the club was thrumming between writhing bodies. A bass boosted version of Push by Enrique Iglesias started playing and the roar that went up was deafening. Annabeth grabbed Hazel, Zoe and Reyna and started dancing– grinding on each other and body rolling. Their hair was wild, their cheeks flushed, and their bodies moving to every beat. Jason stared at Zoe, her head thrown back as she grabbed Reyna’s ass and pulled it flush against her. He realised with jarring clarity that he was starting to fall for her, fall deeply, exhilaratingly.

Before he could think on it, Percy grabbed his hand and pulled them together. Those green eyes, bright with laughter and alcohol, looked into his as they matched each other hip for hip, step for step. That swimmer’s body rolled into him and he laughed, gripping the man’s hips and swaying them.

Percy grabbed his neck, half whispering half shouting into his skin, “You got moves, white boy.”

“Years of spending time with Leo.” His lips brushed against his dance partner’s ear.

Percy’s smile was wicked as he turned around and pressed his ass up against Jason’s front. Their friends hollered, pretending to throw money and wolf whistling as they writhed against each other. Gods Jason loved to dance. The strobe lights flashed across his vision as his eyes fluttered. The music raced through his blood, setting everything on fire. He could live in this feeling. Liminal space.

When the song transitioned to the next Zoe pulled him away and they had their own session. Mostly it involved being pushed up against the wall and devouring each other. He really shouldn’t have had this much tequila, but Hazel’s puppy-dog eyes were impossible to say no to.

“Seeing you and Percy was hot as fuck.” Zoe breathed, chest heaving.

“You enjoyed it?” He smirked, grabbing her hips and flipping their positions so she was against the rough brick. He marvelled at the difference between her and Luke. Luke who would have been angry, jealous, hateful; who would have dragged them home and lectured him about it. He banishes those thoughts. Tonight was about having fun, about celebration, about the goddess in front of him.

“Hell yes! And your friends are pretty cool.”

“I think they like you better than me.”

“Well I like you better than them,” She winked.

“Good to know,” His smirk was delicious, “Now, where were we?”

“As lovely as this is, I really need to go to the bathroom before I burst.”

He laughed into her, and let her go, watching as she murmured something to the girls before they all traipsed off.

“They seem to get on,” Nico observed, nodding as they disappeared behind the doors.

“I’m glad. I knew they would, but there’s always that little seed of doubt, you know?”

“Yea,” His friend nodded, floppy black hair falling into his eyes, “She’s great. We all love her.”

“I think me too.” He confessed.

“Really?” Nico peered at him then, trying to gage something under the streaking lights, “Since when?”

“Since a couple hours ago maybe,” He laughed, “I don’t know. It may just be the tequila talking.”

“Alcohol doesn’t create feelings, just amplifies what’s already there.”

Before he could reply a heart-stopping scream sounded from the far side of the club, near the bathrooms. He flashed a look at his friend and then they were both sprinting towards the source where a crowd was forming. He pushed his way to the front and nearly hurled as he took in the scene.

There lying on the floor in a growing pool of blood was Zoe Nightshade.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’M SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME?!?!??!?!

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[valkirsif]

Unthinkable CH46/???

Word 3100

Warning Nothing

The days on the set were chaotic and fascinating, Y/N had managed to find all the furniture and Alissa was organizing the expedition, once in LA she would have fixed the house, was preparing breakfast before reaching Phil and leaving for Sammy's house ,

"Day Honey " said feeling Tom's arms wrap her, "One second and the eggs are ready" turned to kiss him,

"Day Darling, excited for the hunt?" the man asked, taking a seat at the table,

"Can't wait" replied carrying the plates, "I can't wait for Sammy since the party will be fun"  laughed as drank her first coffee,

"Don't be swayed by her madness" he laughed, "If you let her, she'll buy you a castle",

"I'll remember my Lord" she laughed with him as finished breakfast,

"See you tomorrow my love, Sammy wants to take me shopping" she kissed him taking the backpack with pajamas and a change,

"Have fun, Darling, see you tomorrow," he greeted her.

Phil was waiting for her at the B&B where slept, luckily he had found a room, with the re- taking in progress all the rooms in the hotels and b&b were full of paparazzi and fans who came to steal some photos,

"Hello, can I help you?" asked the girl at the reception, "Oh Miss Hiddleston .. " said surprised to see her there,

"Good morning, I'm waiting for a friend, thank you" Y/N answered sitting in the living room, Phil joined her after a couple of minutes,

" Poppy here I am sorry but to have breakfast you have to get in line" he said laughing hugging her,

" It's full of paparazzi wandering through the woods", they went out trying not to pay attention to the shots,

"Well tomorrow there will be our stupid photos everywhere" the woman said with a sigh, "Sorry Phil" looked at him sorry, the friend laughed,

"Don't worry, just don't pay attention to it" laughed the man getting into the car, "Since when do you care what people think?" asked amazed, the woman explained to him how she felt and how the photos of the previous days had made her feel bad,

".. you're right, lately I have the feeling that I have lost a part of me .." she said thoughtfully,

".. I think it's because I 'm so in love with him that I'm afraid that one too many smile or a hug can create havoc",

" Poppy that man kisses the earth where you walk I doubt that something about you will not please him" he laughed giving her a loving tap on the shoulder, "Change is natural .. distort what you are not" he said seriously, the woman looked out thinking about the words of her friend he was right was to regain part of her that did not care of the judgments of the people, promised if same to get back what was before I met Tom, a few hours after they arrived at the home of Sammy .

"Y/N bye!!" she said happily going to meet the two, "How nice to see you" the happy hug,

" Sammy thanks for your help" Y/N replied as cheerful as she was, " He is Phil one of my oldest friends" she said introducing him,

"Nice to meet you, I tried to make coffee but I can't assure you it's good" she laughed making his way inside the house, "Take a seat"

"Isn't David there?" asked Y/N following her into the kitchen, Sammy said no, her husband worked,

".. you are all mine today and tomorrow" smiled maliciously, the trio laughed, finished their coffee and they went out,

"Let's take my car if you don't mind so I don't have to give directions to your driver" took the keys while Y/N warned the driver,

"As I told you there are many properties in the area" began turning into a country road that led to the hills, "If you have any idea tell me so let's see if there is something", Y/N roughly described what they were looking for, a large park and a pond could not be missing,

" Mmm everyone here has a garden ... or rather a park" she laughed, stopping at the top of the hill to show her the area, "As you can see the houses are far enough away to have all the privacy you want" said, Y/N admired the landscape dotted with big houses, really big, she thought,

"Er Sammy .. " she said fearfully, "..Thomas and I are looking for a house not a mini castle, these are gigantic", Sammy looked at her seemed not to follow her speech,

" Oh .. uh .. I always forget that you are Italian" she replied thoughtfully, "Here it is customary to have large country houses with many rooms and large lounges, they are usually rented when not in use" concluded,

"I understand, but we seek a home for the exclusive use say, spacious enough to invite friends .. " described what they were looking for explaining best she could, ".. 4/5 bedrooms, a great room and a garden" behind her Phil laughed, "You knew that didn't you?" she scolded him laughing,

"Yes but I could not resist letting you fall from the clouds" he laughed hugging her, even Sammy laughed heartily taking the phone and talking quickly, Y/N couldn't follow her and not even Phil was useful, Scottish was a language apart,

"Ok I found a couple of houses that could be fine" she said getting back in the car, "While we go I cancel the appointments I had made" smiled putting on the earphones, Y/N felt guilty she must be clearer in what they were looking for,

"Sorry Sammy " she said in a low voice, "I didn't mean to waste your time like this",

"Imagine Y/N, it is true that you could have explained yourself better .. but I had to ask .. we are even" she laughed, the woman managed to find something and they headed towards the first property, a man was waiting for them at the gate,

"Hi Miss, I'm Gerald Connor the caretaker" he said cheerfully shaking hands with the group,

"I'm amazed you're looking for such a small house" he laughed as led the way

"They just told me that in England they use much larger" smiled Y/N explaining the reasons for their choice, the caretaker laughed opening the door,

"Take a seat" gestured Gerald making them pass, "the central hall has a beautiful fireplace that works perfectly" he said showing the great room, the marble inlaid fireplace was spectacular, a large table was placed next to the fire could seat a dozen people , two twin sofas on the opposite side were turned towards the large window overlooking the park, you could see a stream passing through the property, the deer grazed placidly in the park, Y/N was ecstatic,

"The kitchen is habitable .. " he says and continuing his visit, ".. as soon as outside there is an old bread oven, but it needs to be fixed", they went upstairs passing through the turret

"There are 6 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, the master bedroom has a private bathroom" he said, letting the group wander around the rooms,

"There are some work to be done, it was used as a hunting lodge" he led the way outside and there Y/N understood that it was the right one, the large park was hidden behind the house by a grove of centuries-old oaks and horse chestnuts, fruit trees were scattered around, missing only a pool but it would have made to install if the deal was successful, tried to stay on longer neutral and calm as possible but she was so happy that he had trouble,

" Sammy is her .. is perfect!!" she said softly taking her aside, "You seem much better at bargaining .. " smiled at her,

"It seems very small to me" she answered unconvinced, "But if that's what you want .. " called the caretaker to find out the price

"One moment Miss phone the owner" he answered, 10 minutes later reached them, "Mister McGregor is coming if you want to wait", the group nodded and they sat on the porch talking about the work to be done, the furniture was perfect so they would only change sofas and carpets, they saw a car arrive .

"Nice to meet you, I 'm George McGregor " said the man introducing himself smiling, "Sorry if I made you wait, you are the first to be interested in the shed for years" laughed, taking a seat in the house followed by the group,

"Don't worry" replied Sammy , "The house is for my friends" said introducing Y/N,

"Calling it home is a great compliment" he laughed, "Space is limited .. "

"My partner and I were not looking for something big but rather a little house to enjoy when not working" replied Y/N, "This is perfect for us",

"Before talking about money I have only one request .. more than the neighbors .. " he said worried, ".. many VIPs live in the area so there is a private surveillance service .. you should leave your data at the office in town ..", Sammy and Phil looked at Y/N trying not to laugh,

"Um my friend is Tom Hiddleston's girlfriend " she said cheerfully, "They will certainly appreciate the service .. I hope knowing that doesn't increase the price of the house" laughed in practice, for Y/N it was strange to be so direct, in Italy you would arrive at the price calmly, the man laughed,

"I could actually think about it .. " he said, "..but my family wants to get rid of the property, it's very far from the main house and the maintenance is not worth the money" the man and Sammy started talking in Scottish, cutting out Y/N and Phil from the bargaining, the woman picked up the phone,

"Tommy boy .. 200" said practice, " Sure .. yes park included .. 6 .. 3 .. beautiful in marble .. " answered the questions nodding, "He wants you" said passing the cell phone to Y/N,

" Honey do you like it?" asked the sweet man,

"Thomas I love it, I sent you some pictures, don't say yes just to make me happy there are other properties to see" she laughed hoping he liked it too,

"I saw them, there are some works to be done .. " he began, "..but it's a good thing I don't want to distort it, instead of the pool I'd make an artificial lake in the grove" said cheerfully,

"Sure? You really like it?" Y/N asked happily,

"Of course I like it, I wonder Sammy was so malleable" they laughed together,

"Come back to me please .. I love you" he said greeting her, the woman gave the cell phone to Sammy who greeted Tom before hanging up,

"Thomas wants to know when he is free to sign, he likes the house and the price is perfect" she said shaking the man's hand,

"I'll leave you my number, call me when your boyfriend is available" he said passing Y/N a business card, "I'm glad the house is in good hands",

"We will have the utmost care" she replied cheerfully, "Thanks for your availability at such short notice", they said goodbye and got back in the car to go to London,

"Aren't we going back to you?" asked Y/N on the way

"We're going to see me in London" she laughed seeing the woman's expression, "Tomorrow shopping and I don't know a better place than London to shop",

"Since we're going to London then I'll stop at home so we're all more comfortable, Phil will you stay with me?" asked his friend who nodded, “ Sammy do you think you can even get a hairdresser in shopping? I can't stand long hair anymore and you have to redo the color .. "

"Of course dear even if it is a pity they give you long hair, I also take advantage of it then, as soon as we arrive I call mine so we do not risk horrible things" they laughed, it took 2 hours to arrive, Sammy left them at home they would see them again the next morning .

" Poppy the house is really nice, once it's whitewashed and fixed it will be lovely" said Phil taking a drink,

" It's how we wanted it, small and semi-hidden" she replied, "And if there is surveillance, I'm more quiet", called Tom while Phil was in the shower,

"My love ailment?" she was always afraid of disturbing him at work,

"My Queen, imagine, I'm getting dressed to go to the canteen before going to the set" he replied cheerfully, "I looked at the photos, I like the house more and more .. how did you convince Sammy ?"

"I told her the truth .. we wanted a house for us not a hostel" she laughed "I have the owner's number waiting for your call when you are free .. are you sure you like it?" You're not doing it just for me .. "she asked shyly,

"You know that I love you and that I would do anything to make you happy .. " he began, "..but I wouldn't say yes just to make you happy, you're not the kind of woman who would accept such a thing" laughed hearing the woman hold back , "I really like the house, I can't wait to watch you bathe naked in the woods .. my nymph"

"Oh Thomas .. I love you" Y/N answered moved, he too had noticed that it wasn't her but he hadn't told her anything, " As long as I 'm at home do you need anything?"

"I would say no, maybe check your mail" he laughed before greeting her,

"I ordered Chinese so we don't go out," Phil informed her, " What's the schedule tomorrow ?"

"There's a couple of things missing for the house," said, "Then I don't know what Sammy wants to see .. "

"It 'a nice lady ..i remember you .. " he teased his friend, "..funny and sparkling"

“I don't know her very much but she always makes me laugh” Y/N answered opening to the bellboy, they had dinner and watched a movie before collapsing in bed.

Sammy arrived at 10 am doing something new .. rang the bell,

"Day" Y/N said sleepily, "You could have entered without ringing" she laughed going into the kitchen,

"I didn't want to disturb, one thing is when Tommy is around .. another is when you have guests" Sammy laughed over the coffee, "I know you and Phil are just friends don't look at me like that"

"Sorry I get constant attacks from paparazzi and fans I have become rigid about these things .. it's not like me" she said in a low voice, "But today I get my temper back just bend over and be afraid .. " she said seriously, Sammy stared at her and burst out laughing,

"Tommy will be happy" she said telling her some conversations she and Tom had in the last few days, ".. I think he wants hers back .. how is it that described you .. yes wilde kitty" she concluded, Y/N blushed violently the man called her so only in private, "I strangle him" thought as passed the coffee to Phil who was letting go of laughter, they went out and headed towards the center,

"Hair first!" Sammy said finding parking in front of the salon, "Phil are you coming with us?" asked the man,

"I guess not thanks" he laughed, " Poppy, I'll drop by the office and go home, see you when you get back to town for Tom's departure?" he asked hugging her,

"Sure darling and thanks for the company" she answered kissing him, they said goodbye and the women entered the hall,

" Mat hi here we are" she said cheerfully hugging the hairdresser, "She is Y/N .. bring out the colors",

"Nice to meet you" he said shaking her hand, "Let's start with you then, what did you have in mind?" asked making her sit down and putting a cape around her shoulders,

"I want to get rid of the extensions , shave the sides and go back to my fuchsia and blue" she said happy to get rid of that good girl hair that didn't belong to her,

"Great, Sabine prepares for the bleaching" told her assistant before starting to shave the woman's hair, the fake locks fell to the ground lightly, he took some scissors and removed the extensions one at a time, fixed the cut and put the bleach on first to get to work on Sammy ,

"Do you know that I almost copy you?" she said looking at Y/N cheerfully, "Not the cut of course .. but I've always wanted to try something bold",

"Are you sure?" Mat asked , "How about keeping your color above and below purple and pre-oil ?" he asked taking the color palette and trying them on, "Bold is fine but I know you dear .. " he laughed,

"I like the idea, they would only show when I move my hair or tie it" replied Sammy now convinced, Mat put the bleach on her too and moved to prepare the colors,

"Come on, let's take a picture like this with the bleach on our head .. let's terrorize our men" laughed Y/N posing sexy with the woman, they laughed like little girls, they waited for the answers that were not long in coming,

"David is horrified" Sammy laughed , "He says you have a bad influence on me",

"Thomas seems curious to see you with colored hair" she laughed, "Is this the first time?" asked puzzled,

"What a color change no .. that I do my hair purple absolutely yes " she laughed, "You have to be a little crazy sometimes .. and besides there is always total black in case", after half an hour they had white hair ready for the color,

"Do you have any preference for mixing?" Mat asked before applying the colors,

"Usually I put blue on the roots and blend up to fuchsia on the tips .. more fuchsia than blue though" she smiled, it was the first time someone made her the color she was no longer used to it,

"Perfect, let's start then, Sabine .. " the assistant called and they set to work, "If you like the result, I'll prepare you an envelope with the colors I used to make them yourself", the woman thanked and enjoyed the pampering , they brought an aperitif and ate something while they waited, once washed and dried Y/N looked at herself and found herself in the reflection of the mirror, she smiled happily,

"OMG !!" she turned to hear Sammy scream as looked at herself, "I don't know what to say I'm confused .. " laughed astonished,

" Sammy they look great on you," Y/N said, moving her locks behind to make the colors shine through,

"I like the result, with long hair like yours it's a great idea", Sammy kept looking at herself undecided,

" They are .. weird .. beautiful but really weird .. " she laughed, ".. why do they look so good on you?" she asked jealous,

" Because I am fabulous with these colors!!" laughed Y/N making the grimace, "And because I feel at ease, I look beautiful with these tones", they paid the bill and went out, they spent the rest of the morning wandering around the shops, Y/N ordered pillows and puofs for the house over there,

" Sammy, is there a florist in the area?" asked Y/N looking around, the woman nodded and led the way, around the corner there was a kiosk full of flowers,

"Day I would like a bouquet of yellow roses please" she said to the boy, "And if has them also one of sunflowers", Sammy looked at her curiously,

"I understand sunflowers .. why roses?" asked, "If I remember correctly they indicate jealousy .. are you all right dear?"

"Very well, I wanted to make a gift to "that" that's all" she replied cheerfully, Sammy looked at her sideways asking why,

" Well in the end she behaved like an ignoble being .. but if Thomas hadn't done it and I would never have met" she replied calmly, "It seemed nice to thank her"

"You are really twisted" said bursting out laughing, "I wish I was a fly to see his face", they finished the purchases and left for the set.

She found Thomas on the sofa going over, "as if he needed it" thought putting the flowers in the water,

"My King I missed you," she said, putting herself in his arms to kiss him,

" Honey welcome back" he said kissing her, ruffling her forelock, "You look great, like when I met you .. ruffled and colored" he laughed looking at her,

"How did the shopping go?" he asked not seeing envelopes or packages, "Weren't you inspired?"

"Have found something for the house, I did take home and warned Ali because mail it with the rest," smiled when she saw the startled face of the man at the mention of her pr , "And I took the flowers .. "

"I saw ..yellow roses?" he asked curiously, staring at her,

"Um really I'm for "that".. " Y/N answered laughing, "..and I apologize in advance" she concluded, staring at him to try to understand what he was thinking, the man kept staring at her undecided,

"Please explain Darling why I don't follow you .. " he answered curiously, "..I have some ideas but I want to hear it from you",

"I know it will seem absurd to you .. " she exposed almost guilty, suddenly was lacking the courage, ".. but if she hadn't behaved like a bitch we two will not be together now .. " said in a low voice,

" Darling .. " he said amazed, smiling at her, ".. I don't know what to say, if when it happened they told me that I would find the woman of my life I would have laughed .." he continued taking her in his arms,

".. Rice told me you're a vengeful type .. I see Lady Loki .. " he whispered biting her earlobe, Y/N meowed close to him,

"You are angry? I know how much it made you suffer and I don't want to seem numb but you have to understand that you have to start away" said Y/N embarrassed , the man stared at her smiling, hugged and stood up with his precious load in his arms going towards the bedroom,

"You'll see how angry I am Kitty " he growled smiling throwing her on the bed, Y/N smiled anticipating the punishment.

[edourado]

Together, ch iv

Here’s chapter four, because I need something light and fluffy, to help me stomach the world. I’m sad, I’m angry, sick to my stomach, I am legit losing faith in humanity, I burst out in tears at any given moment. And I don’t want to lose my mind, so here’s me coping. 

This is nothing, its a silly piece of fluffy fanfiction, but it’s for George Floyd, for Ahmaud Arbery, for João Pedro, a 14 year old black boy from Rio who was shot by police while playing inside his home, for every black individual who died because they were black, for their families, for the protesters. This is nothing, nothing, nothing, but it has a little of my heart in it, so it’s for them. 

I hope it makes you smile.

------- 

It wasn’t long until Frank got cabin fever. 

Staying inside all day was not at all like him. How long had he been spending most of his days outside, moving, doing something, or just looking at the people walking around the street?

To Karen’s amusement - and delight - he cleaned the entire apartment, top to bottom, and was even able to remove the touch stains on the light switches. He did something to the fridge, and by the time he was done, the shelves and the door were gleaming as if had just arrived from the store, brand new. 

But the apartment was not big enough to keep him entertained for long, so he started ordering things online to improve on little stuff, like the shelves she needed for her shoes, since she had needed to make room for his, or these fancy magnets to install on bottom of  the doors, so they would stop banging shut whenever it was a little windy. He spent a whole afternoon on the phone with David Lieberman, deciding on the best cameras to install around the place.

Reading only took him so far. He went through four books before he found it hard to keep still, and it was even worse with Netflix. 

Then, one day, the masks they bought from the neighbor from two floors down were ready, and she texted to let them know she had left them at their door. 

“I thought they’d be much worse”, Karen said, after they wired the neighbor the money and collected the neatly packed masks. “These are good, look!”

She put one on and they were, indeed, much better than they both had expected. Not fancy or in any way tech advanced, but a simple cloth mask that covered mouth and nose without leaving gaps. All of them black. 

“I think I’ll order more”, Karen mused, while Frank put one on. As far as masks go, this was not the worst he had ever worn, not by a long shot. 

That night, Frank lied awake in bed, his finger twitching, unable to sleep. They had cooked a big dinner together, looking for something to do to spend the time and use the things they had on the pantry, trying to avoid spoiling food. 

Karen had also stayed awake for longer than usual, but now she breathed slowly, sleeping by his side, and Frank had given up keeping his eyes closed, and now stared at the ceiling. 

After what seemed like forever, he looked at the window and noticed that the sky was starting to become a tad lighter. When he checked his phone, it told him it was 4:34 in the morning. With a glance at Karen, he got up, careful not to wake her. 

After silently dressing, Frank picked up his phone from the bedside table and carried his shoes to the living room, stopping to pick up one of the masks they had washed before starting on dinner. The radiator had dried them all completely, leaving them warm and crisp feeling. 

Closing the apartment door silently behind him, he locked it and then moved quickly down the stairs. 

He couldn’t take a proper breath in, with the mask covering his mouth and nose, but the fresh air that made it through his lungs when he inhaled deeply were enough to make him feel better already. Looking at the empty street before him, Frank set off for the first jog he had in years. 

Ever since he came back from his last tour, he favored other ways of exercising. Jogging was neither possible nor efficient after the whole mess, but it felt good, it felt natural, to run without hurry and from nobody, not chasing anybody. Run for the sake of running. 

He was on a break by the river, almost an hour later, when his phone pinged. 

“Ok”, said Karen’s text, in reply to the one he had sent her before he left the apartment, letting her know he was off for a run. “Have fun”, and then, almost as an afterthought, “Be careful. Don’t touch anything and don’t take off your mask.”

“Yes, ma’am”, he replied. 

Frank ran for a good while. Not counting the time, or the miles, or his heartbeat, he just ran, took breaks, walked and then ran some more, looking as the morning made the city brighter, noticing how strange it the streets looked, so empty, even this early. He ran and he wished he could take off his mask, but he didn’t, happy that at least he was able to breathe some fresh air and not see any walls around him, for a change. 

The sun was up when he turned to make his way back, at 7:15.

There was a bakery one corner away from home, and the smell of fresh bread lured him in. A man in uniform, a mask and gloves told him they just took a fresh batch out of the oven, and Frank bought a few, along with cheese and two cups of coffee (which they had at the apartment, but he figured these people were risking themselves to provide food for the neighborhood and try and keep their business alive, so what’s two cups of extra coffee?)

“Thank you so much for your support” said the guy, handing him the bag and the cup holder through a window. 

“Thank you”, Frank replied, happy for this little slice of normal. “You guys open tomorrow?” 

“From seven to seven.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Name’s Frank.”

“I’m Ray. See you, Frank. Have a good day.”

He walked the rest of the way, and had to balance his purchases in one hand while taking the key from his shoe, towing said shoes off and unlocking the door, walking in in his socks.”

“Frank?” Karen called from the bedroom.   

“I’m here” he called back, starting the new strange process of cleaning the things he brought home with him. 

After putting the warm bread on the designated bread basket and disposing of the paper bag, he transferred the cheese to a clean container and the coffee to the coffee pot, where Karen had not yet pushed the button to brew. 

After his shower, he walked to the bedroom, feeling much, much better than he felt before getting up this morning. 

Karen was still in bed, phone in hand, and smiled at him when he walked in. 

“Hi”, she greeted, and he walked to her. “Enjoy your run?”

“Hmm”, was his answer, lying down half on top of her, kissing her gently, closing his eyes when her hands caressed his hair. “I brought breakfast.”

“I can smell it”, she said, softly. “That show we wanted to watch is available on Netflix. Wanna eat on the couch and watch it with me?”

He made them egg sandwiches and brought it to the couch while she cued the new show on TV, and when he settled down to watch it, he didn’t feel restless or that itch that made him want to get up every five seconds. 

What a difference, a run made. 

.:.

He came back to the apartment on the fourth day with croissants and the usual coffee, sweating profusely, since he had not made any stops this time, nor did he walk, and the jog was just straight up sprinting.

“Kare?” he called from the kitchen.

“I’m here!” she called back, and he saw her hand waving at him through the window. She was in the fire escape. 

He had to deal with the sanitizing of the shopping and then a shower, so it was a few minutes before he walked to the living room window. 

Before he got to the ledge, she popped her head inside and smiled at him. 

“I got you something.”

When Frank ducked to climb out to the narrow fire escape, he saw what she had gotten: a hammock. 

Cream colored, she had tied it on the iron bars above head, it hung a good few inches above the floor. She had placed two throw pillows in it, plus a heavy blanket. 

“You’ve been feeling so cooped up, I thought this would maybe help a little.

Turning to her, Frank smiled and moved to kiss her. 

“You didn’t have to do that”, he said, a hand caressing her hair. 

“I wanted to. I’m only sorry it took so long to arrive, I ordered it almost a month ago.”

Frank looked at the hammock, swaying lightly in the wind, and thought that this small act, this simple purchase for his benefit made him a little more sure that she meant it, when she said she loved him. 

It was silly, he knew that, but there still was a little part of him that expected her to wake up one day and realize that all she thought she felt for him was nothing but the thrill of the danger, the forbidden, the very ill advised act of rebellion, or even misinterpreted feelings of concern and worry and gratitude.

The fact that she didn’t run away from him after they slept together for the first time, or asked him to stay after the second third fourth and so on, asked him to move in, gave him a key, made room for his things, made room for him, bought him a hammock. It all told him that yeah, she was serious about that love. 

“Maybe we can have breakfast here?” he suggested, and she beamed, nodding. 

“So you like it?”

“I do”, he said against her mouth. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Settle in, I’ll get the food.”

 They ate the croissants and drank the coffee while sharing the hammock, after adjusting the height a little bit. 

“This is so good”, she said around a mouthful of warm croissant, taking a sip of coffee, looking out at the street below them. 

Frank watched as the morning light caught in her hair, how it made her eyes shine just a tad bluer, accentuated the few freckles she had on her nose.

“Yeah, it is”, he agreed, squeezing her foot under the blanket, thankful that, if he had to be stuck inside, at least it was with her.  

[fluffydragon22]

2.13 : The Sudden Shift

I woke up at 5 am the next morning. My legs were already fine but i could feel that i was sweating so much when i slept. But i couldn't remember when i fell asleep.

I got up and made a cup of hot tea. It was still early in the morning so i had plenty of time to just enjoy the view. The letter that i wrote was still there. Nothing's changed in the room, so i took a conclusion that the observer didn't appear when i was sleeping.

Hours passed, the sun started to rise, and the street started to get crowded as people began their Saturday. But there were no replies from Lily after i sent a good morning text. So i decided to go outside just to enjoy a bit of walking.

I walked towards the train station. I didn't have any destination that i had to go to. So i just tapped my card, got into the station, and waited for a commuter line to the city center. When the commuter line arrived, i quickly got in and found a seat. It was Saturday after all so there were not as many people as it was like the weekday.

After getting off the train, i got into my favourite restaurant near the station to have some breakfast. The place was a bit crowded but luckily i found a seat. I ordered a glass of milk and a fried rice. Then i started to read the novel that i brought with me, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, which was written by Haruki Murakami.

After about an hour, i put the book back in my bag and paid for my food. Then i walked towards the park. Along the way, i checked my phone and there were no messages or calls from anyone.

"Perhaps i'm invisible, perhaps i only become exist when people need me." I whispered to myself.

But it was true, at least that was how i felt it back then. Everytime my friends planned something, i would be the last to be invited. Sometimes Sarah would be the only one to invite me on the last minute. But i wasn't mad, even if i had the chance, i wouldn't get mad. There was no clear reason for me to get mad at my friends. After all, being invited was already more than enough.

I arrived at the park and sat down on the bench overlooking the small lake. The park was a bit crowded but i found a place which had the least number of people. I sat there while drinking my mineral water.

It was a beautiful day. The clouds seemed to be tired to show up. So the blue colour filled the sky. It was beautiful outside, but inside me, it wasn't so beautiful. At least that's how it was that day.

Shortly after 1 pm, i decided to go back to my place. I took the same route, took a train, and walked aimlessly around my university. The dark clouds were moving towards the west and it could be raining any moment. But i didn't care. If i go back to my place, i couldn't enjoy the rain.

As expected, the rain was pouring down around 1.35 pm. I decided to wait for the rain under a bus stop so my clothes and my bag wouldn't get soaked. There were only four people in the bus stop. They all seemed to be disappointed because of the rain.

Suddenly, my phone rang. I thought it was a phone call, turned out it was a couple of messages. Which was from Lily. I was surely a bit surprised then hurriedly opened the message.

"Hi Adrian, i'm sorry about last night, and today." She said in her first message.

"Can we have a video call tonight?" She asked in her second message.

Without wasting time, i replied her message.

"No no, don't be sorry, it's okay. Of course we can. Just let me know the time." I sent the reply.

But then, no reply came. The rain stopped about 30 minutes later and i decided to go back to my place as quickly as possible. As soon as i arrived, i changed my clothes, threw the one i just used to the basket, and made myself a cup of hot tea.

As i'm watching the rain fell down through the window. I thought about my friends. How i've been left out by them, how i've been 'thrown out' of the groups quietly and slowly. But the more i thought of it, the more i realized that i should be the one to blame for that. How i declined a few invitations from them because the schedule collided with my schedule with Lily. Nobody should be blamed except me.

"Why didn't you come to Rachel's house?" David asked me sometime when we were still in vacation period.

"Uh sorry man, i had a date as well with Lily." I answered him.

"That was the third time you didn't come because of going for a date." He said. I saw a disappointment on his face.

"Well i will come on the next time, surely." I told him awkwardly.

But as most of the things in our lives, three is the limit of the chance that will be given before the opportunity itself gone. I guess i didn't stand another chance within them.

I kept remembering it as the day turned into night. The rain was still falling down and quickly became the music of the night. Then i started to hit by headache and sneezing unstoppably.

At 9, Lily videocalled me and i answered with right away. She looked tired and i gave her a few words that i usually did to cheer her up. Long story short, it didn't work. I was terribly bad at giving some support to people. But about 20 minutes into the call, she noticed that i had a fever.

"You have fever?" She asked me.

"No i don't, it's just, you know, sneezing." I answered, but my voice was already different.

"Go take some rest, goodnight." She said and instantly turned off the call.

I just stared at the screen for a very long time after she turned the call off. Thinking why the fever had to come at this exact moment. But little did i know, the fever itself, was the beginning of my downfall in college.

Exactly three days later, the fever didn't stop. I started to get hit by another symptoms such as losing the appetite, massive weight loss, no strength even to just walking, etc. But somehow until the fourth day, i kept going into the class like nothing happened. On the afternoon during the fourth day, Sarah asked me to accompany her to the supermarket just a few blocks down the road from her place.

"Hi, i hope you're not busy this afternoon because im gonna treat you. I'll wait for you in front of the Library after 4." She said in a voice message.

After my class was over, i straight up went to the Library and waited for her. As usual, she showed up on time.

"Adrian, you look bad. You got fever or something? Have you eaten anything? Can you walk? You want me to take you to your place?" She asked so many things in one breathe, just like how she usually did whenever she got worried.

"I'm okay Sarah. I can accompany you to the supermarket, but buy me something, okay." I answered, i tried to smile but i assumed that i looked more like someone who tries to hold the pain rather than smiling.

"You look pale, you know that?! No way i would take you to the supermarket." She shouted at me. Luckily nobody was around us at that time.

"Chill sis, i walked my way from class to the library. So i can say i'm good to go. No, i don't accept any answer other than okay let's go. Got it?" I told her.

"Huh if you pass out, don't blame me, do we have a deal?" She asked me after a long thinking.

"I won't, but mom surely would ask you." I answered her question and proceeded to grab her tote bag. She carried too much stuff for somebody who wanted to go to the supermarket.

"Mom will definitely believe me more than she believes you." She said as we walked towards the station. The supermarket's shortcut was located right besides the station, so we didn't have to walk that far.

She bought many stuff that afternoon, she labeled it as monthly shopping. Shampoo, toothpaste, lots of canned food, vegetables, drinks, you name it all. Meanwhile i bought some canned food like the one she bought, a few chocolate bars, eggs, and some vegetables that i would cook that night. After that, she took me to the food court to get something to eat.

"Are you okay? Still have strength to get back to your place?" She asked me as we ate our food. I bought a plate of rice and grilled chicken, while she bought a bowl of meatballs.

"Yes, i'm totally okay. See, i told you i could make it." I said proudly.

"Journey hasn't finished yet, monsieur." She said.

"Just a short distance left so no probs, right." I asked her.

"I hope so, i do hope so." She said as she exchanged her bowl with my plate. Tradition, we called it.

"Lily knows?" She asked again.

"No, she is just, busy, i guess." I answered as i took a spoon of meatballs.

"She always busy, huh?" She asked me.

"I don't know..." I answered. I wanted to continue but i couldn't find any words.

"She always had time, back then, right? Why she suddenly gets busy? It's like she suddenly shift her focus off you, don't you think so?" She asked me again.

"I suppose. But i don't want to disturb her. I mean i text her every morning, afternoon, and night. But there are no interest from her." I told Sarah as she enjoyed every bite of the grilled chicken.

"Oh my oh my, my Adrian, don't get trapped again, please. I've known you better than any of your friends, and your girlfriend, and i will always know you better." She stopped for a while to sip her lemon tea.

"How difficult for you to get up from your lowest point, how long it takes, how hard you do it, i know it better than her. For your own good, get the things straight with her. Don't take someone who act like you're a temporary option seriously." She continued.

"But i love her." I said.

"That's a poor excuse. You do know that i love you, right? So that's why i tell you this. Because i care about you. Perhaps more than you care about yourself. More than she does. If you get hurt while you're with somebody and they don't even try to change it, why you should stay?" Sarah asked me as she looked at me deep in my eyes.

I was at lost for words. Everything she said was true. But something inside me resisted it. Suddenly what the observer told me back then coming back.

"Be careful, things started to unfold." The observer's voice echoed in my head.

"I need you to think about it, okay bro?" Lily told me as she tilted her head while looking at me. I felt safe everytime she did it, i didn't know the reason of it.

"Now let's go home. You need some rest." She stood up and took my hand.

"If Lily sees us, i guarantee you she will be mad." Sarah laughed as we were holding hands.

"If that's the case, i don't care about what she says though. We've been doing this since we were kids." I told her. Then we walked outside the supermarket heading towards our place.

We were lucky enough to find our places next to each other. So basically we see each other everyday. That night, we walked for about half hour side by side. Talking about many things, laughing at the old times. Sometimes i asked her to stop to rest for a minute. Then, we arrived at Sarah's place and i gave her the stuff that i carried.

"If anything happens tonight, call me straightaway." She said as she opened the gate.

"Copy that, mademoiselle." I told her.

"I mean it. Don't forget. I will come to check you out at 8 tomorrow. Get some rest, don't play videogames." She said.

"No worries, i will let you know. An hour of play won't be a problem though. Don't you think?" I told her with a bit of laugh.

"Gonna kill you if you do that." She told me as she showed her fist.

"Wow wow chill. I won't play tonight so don't worry. See you tomorrow." I said as we waved to each other.

After cooking some vegetables and canned food, i ate it while looking at the half moon on the sky. No messages from anyone. Only messages about assignments and so on in group chats. My parents had some stuff to take care abroad and hardly contacted me. However, 10 minutes later. My phone rang with a message showing up. It was, unexpectedly, from Lily.

"How are you doing? Are you okay??" She asked me in her message.

"Yep i'm okay. But..." I stopped typing to think about the appropriate words.

"Tell her everything you feel." A voice said. The observer has showed up.

"Not gonna happen tonight. Gotta rest so i will just skip the detail." I told him.

"Your choice. But seriously, it's better if she knows about it, right? Good for your recovery, too." The observer said.

"Let's see what will happen in the next 7 days, then i will decide." I told him. I was running out of strength to say anything.

"Yep, i'm okay, but i will see what happens tomorrow. It's not that bad but not that good either. How about you? Are you okay?" I sent her the message.

"Well well, i can't wait to see it then. Get some rest, be tough. I will comeback tomorrow after you finish your business with Sarah." The observer said as he disappeared.

"Huh, that's fast, observer." I told him before he completely disappeared.

"Let me know if anything happens. Take some rest tonight, don't play any games. Just, take as much as rest as you can, okay? I'm okay here so don't worry about me." She replied.

"Okay Lily, understood. I'm sorry i made you worry." I replied.

"No no, don't be sorry. You have to focus on getting healed, okay? Now sleep. Good night Adrian. I will sleep as well so hopefully we'll meet in our dream." She said and followed by a love emoji.

"Ummm okay Lily. Hopefully we can haha. Good night, I love you, I miss you." I sent my last messages at that night and closed the curtain, put my phone down, turned the light off, and pulled my blanket.

I fell into a dreamless sleep. I woke up every one hour with a massive headache and pain on every inch of my body. As the night grew deeper and darker, i found that it was more difficult to sleep. Fortunately, i fell asleep back just before 3 am. But in the morning, every part of my body seemed to collapse. I lost my apetite completely and it was difficult to get up, even to move my hand seemed to be impossible. The downfall was completely started to take place overnight.

[missjosie27]

Year 3 Part 9- Duel with Barnaby

Hey guys!

I enjoyed writing this one immensely because I feel like JC has butchered or reduced Barnaby down to an intelligence even lower than that of Patrick Star or Forest Gump. I feel there's a lot more depth to him even if he's not the brightest bulb on the porch. And though I give a lot of attention to Merula, he deserves a greater amount of coverage and nuance as well

So for those of you who like Barnaby, this one's for you. Enjoy!

How to approach a potentially hostile Slytherin: that was the ultimate question.

For David it presented a unique challenge, one untested until this very moment. For as long as he had attended Hogwarts, Slytherin House was an enemy, an antithesis to everything he believed in and a hindrance to finding the vaults along with his brother. Merula was the primary source for that picture, but it wasn’t only her. As Bill and Hagrid pointed out, many children of Death Eaters still attended the school, the overwhelming majority of them in Slytherin. And the ones that weren’t tended to be odd, reclusive, self obsessed, or alarmingly ambitious. It wasn’t a coincidence.

And yet in order to win over Barnaby to their side, he needed to drop these prejudices, at least for the moment. He still wasn’t sure this was a good idea but Tulip’s ideas, though often eccentric, tended to see things that others often overlooked. He would trust that instinct for now. The real problem was how to approach him.

Despite the huge Slytherin being seemingly more approachable, David was still quite hesitant. After all, they had opposed each other at least twice already and in both instances Barnaby was left either smelling like foul eggs or on the ground covered in snow. One wrong word might backfire immensely. He opted to try and talk to him in a more private setting but that proved to be impossible, as he was almost always with Merula and Ismelda during and after potions neither of which he had a desire to speak with at the moment.

So he tried a new approach, one more befitting of a Gryffindor but with a reasonable amount of tact. During lunch on a Wednesday, quiet by Hogwarts standards, he took the opportunity to walk over to the Slytherin table (with great caution) when Barnaby was alone and not flanked by the two girls. He was well aware of the dirty looks he received from the older students and some looked ready to curse him into oblivion, but he knew they wouldn’t, not with teachers everywhere. Most seemed content to ignore him.

“Barnaby?”

The teen looked up from his massive pile of roast beef and potatoes and gazed upon David with intense curiosity.

“Wat oo yu ooing er?”

“You might want to try swallowing.”

Barnaby did so and repeated the question though it was not hostile.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk.”

“Talk about what?”

At this point, some of the Slytherins were looking over and had their wands withdrawn but a silent hand from Barnaby eased that tension.

“About what’s been going on lately. And the vaults.”

Barnaby narrowed his eyes ever so slightly.

“You know I stunk for weeks after that dungbomb. I’ve never taken so many baths in my life.”

“I’m sor-”

“And I mean three times a day. I didn’t know it was possible to bathe that many times. My mom said just once is usually enough.”

David paused at the childlike reasoning of the giant teen in front of him.

“Err...right. Sorry about that.”

Barnaby shrugged as though it had never happened.

“Tulip promised me a box of Peppermint Toads if I talked to you. What do you want?”

Good old, Tulip. She bribed the moron beforehand

“Do you like working for Merula?” he asked him directly.

Barnaby blinked stupidly at the question.

“I don’t work for her. We’re partners.” The statement sounded more like a question, doubt evident in his deep voice.

“Sure that’s why she considers you lesser than a bowl of tripe. But has she ever let you make a decision? Does she ever share her plans with you? Has she ever thanked you for anything?”

Barnaby thought for a second.

“No...no...and I forgot the last thing you said was.”

Resisting the urge to sigh, David continued on with his case.

“You should work with us, Barnaby. Not Merula. And notice how I said ‘with’ not ‘for’. I don’t treat my friends like objects to be cast aside.”

The Slytherin seemed to be taken aback.

“Why do you think I can help?”

“For many reasons, but above everything else you’re powerful and can duel better than most sixth years. I know firsthand how difficult it is to break into a cursed vault. We could use that kind of strength.”

It was quite clear from Barnaby’s reaction that no one had ever bothered to pay him that kind of compliment before or even if they had, it was few and far in between. He took his large fingers, which were covered in silver rings, and began rubbing his chin.

“Uh..you alright?”

“I’m thinking about your words.”

David made a final appeal to get the message across.

“I’m not going to boss you around or call you names like Merula does. I just want your help to find my brother. That’s all.”

Suddenly, a wide smile stretched across Barnaby’s face.

“I like you, Grant.”

“You do?” David asked, surprised it could possibly be this easy.

“Yeah! We should fight.”

Of course it wouldn’t be that easy

“What?” he said in a nonplussed tone.

“I need to prove I’m tough enough to help you and you need to prove you're tough enough to be my new partner,” Barnaby reasoned.

“But I’ve technically already beaten you.”

“That was three on one,” the burly teen shaking his head. “It doesn’t count. Group fighting isn’t the same as one on one.”

He finished eating the last of his lunch, stood up, and clapped a giant hand on David’s shoulder.

“Meet me on the training grounds this Friday after lessons. If you can beat me, I’ll ditch Merula and help you enter the next vault.”

“Why not just do it now?” David asked genuinely.

“Wouldn’t be fair that way,” Barnaby told him. “We both need time to get ready. See you on Friday!”

The third year Gryffindor could only watch as the Slytherin grabbed his bag and began to whistle cheerfully as he exited the Great Hall. It was only when a piece of bread was chucked at him along with an expletive he realized he needed to remove himself from Slytherin territory.

What he didn’t realize was what he had gotten himself into.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Rowan and Ben found out what he agreed to with Barnaby, both cautioned against it.

“Dave, no offense, you’re a good dueler, but Barnaby is the best in our year for a reason. It’s not a good idea to go up against him.”

“What if he seriously hurts you or something?” the blond asked nervously.

“Mates, I’ve explained this already. Barnaby isn’t trying to harm me he’s trying to test me. If I beat him one on one he’ll join us and stop hanging around Merula. We’ve got nothing to lose.”

David was looking over his last bit of notes in the Gryffindor common room before meeting Barnaby for their duel. The weather was surprisingly sunny, and the conditions ideal as you would find in late winter.

“But if wins you’ll just end up in the Hospital Wing and we go right back to where we started from,” Rowan pointed out. “And what then? I haven’t finished deciphering the notebook yet.”

“And Merula will just come after you even more,” Ben added.

David put on his jacket and hat while pocketing his wand. Classes were done and he was ready. Barnaby might be twice as large and physically stronger but he couldn’t back down now.

“You guys worry too much,” he told them with a somewhat cocky smile. “If I can handle three Slytherins at a time, then I’m going to be more than fine against one.”

“Just be careful,” his best friend told him. “We don’t know if we can trust Barnaby yet. Keep your guard up.”

David smiled knowing full well Rowan was just looking out for his well being and he appreciated the gesture.

“I will. Now wish me luck and watch me as I win this duel.”

As he exited and pushed past the portrait of the fat lady, Ben couldn’t help but sigh with jealousy.

“He asked for luck but still has full confidence that he’s going to win the duel. I wish I carried myself like that.”

“Don’t envy everything about Dave,” Rowan said wisely as he read his Magical History book. “He’s more complicated than lets on.”

“But...he’s the most competent person I know save for the teachers. He’s taught me so many things.”

“I’m his best friend, Ben. But even I don’t know all that he’s been through.”

The blond appeared puzzled.

“What are you saying? As far as I’m concerned, he’s a hero.”

Rowan shut his book with a soft thud.

“Even heroes have demons.”

Neither boy spoke much after that but each seemed to consider that the leader of their group had a cocky streak that hid something much deeper.

Even if he would never admit doing so.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sure enough, Barnaby was there waiting for him upon his arrival. By now the snow on the ground had begun to melt a little and the grass below them was little more than a muddle cesspool. But neither minded so much as the milder weather provided the perfect chance to duel without the howling wind or hail. David greeted him in a friendly manner to start things off on the right foot.

“You showed up,” the Slytherin said simply.

“Well yeah, it’s a duel after all.”

This seemed to cater to Barnaby’s simple way of looking at things as he smiled once more.

“I like you, Grant. You keep being nice. If you beat me in a duel, I know you’re tough for real.”

“And then you’ll stop working with Merula and help us find the next Cursed Vault?”

“I’ll have to think about it.”

David paused for a second, confused, though he tried to be as patient as he could be. After all, Barnaby probably didn’t remember what he had for breakfast.

“It was your idea, Barnaby…”

“Oh, right. I’ll do my idea then.”

David by now knew enough about the gargantuan teen to be aware that he was not taking the mickey and also the sincerity of his personality. Certainly a different kind of opponent than he had taken on in the past.

They took positions about thirty feet from each other and each withdrew their wands.

“I’ll warn you, David. I’ve never lost a duel,” Barnaby said with a confident grin.

The Gryffindor could only grin back.

“That’s funny, neither have I.”

Without warning, however, Barnaby struck first sending a disarming spell his way, which he managed to avoid. But unlike his other opponents, Barnaby didn’t rest on his laurels. Spell after spell and ‘Expelliarmus’ after ‘Expelliarmus’, the barrage was relentless and it was so quick David barely had time to recover and send anything back.

After the six stunner, he managed to fire off a Knockback jinx but it only threw back the Slytherin back a few yards and he stayed on his feet.

“Son of a…”

He never had time to finish the swear as Barnaby sent a slew of ropes towards him which missed but then caught him with a blasting curse, the impact of which sent him sprawling on the ground.

Not giving up, he leapt back up and fired back.

‘Depulso!’

The spell sailed over Barnaby’s right shoulder and he responded in kind.

‘Convulsio!’

The spell hit his left leg and it began spazzing as though he had a charlie horse. The sensation was incredibly uncomfortable but David gritted his teeth and managed to dodge another one of Barnaby’s spells, ‘Restricta!’

Ignoring the pain, he tried to use a time old tactic: distraction.

‘Fumo!’

Smoke temporarily blocked Barnaby’s view but with a wave of his wand, he cast it aside and sent another stunner before David could follow up a blasting hex.

Okay, this isn’t working

The burly Slytherin hadn’t been lying: he was good and it was also easy to see why he never lost a duel. His spellwork was precise and accurate, but also fast and nearly impossible to sidestep. The incantations combined with flicks of the wrist and a strong stance made Barnaby the toughest opponent he yet faced.

As he was forced to dodge yet another spell, this one blue in color, he flicked his wand forward and managed to hit Barnaby in the stomach with a tickling spell in order to buy time. To his shock, however, the effect did little other than to cause him to clutch his stomach.

“Those kinds of spells won’t work on me,” he called out. “I just so happen to be immune to tickling.”

It was the first thing Barnaby said all the while they were dueling, a refreshing change of pace from Merula, but the irrefutable fact remained. The Slytherin’s relentless battering ram style was unlike anything he faced before and only raw brute strength would take him down, strength that was failing him.

David was forced to bend down onto one knee when Barnaby yelled out ‘Stupefy’ in order to stun him. Clearly he was intent on ending this soon as his left leg had already given out.

No, not yet

Taking aim, the teenage Gryffindor did the only thing he felt was available to him. He knew the incantation and though he never attempted it personally, felt there was nothing left to lose. Either he would succeed or Barnaby would win the duel.

‘Stupefy!’

A powerful blast of red light shot forward and caught Barnaby square in the chest, uplifting him off his feet and onto the ground in a massive heap.

Breathing heavily, David limped over to Barnaby with the last he could give on his bad leg and offered his hand to the utterly dazed and confused opponent.

“Wha…”

“Come on, big guy.”

Once returned to his senses the Slytherin pushed himself back onto his feet and almost took David with him, who could barely stand as it was, causing him to grunt with pain.

“Oh, I’m sorry, David.”

Barnaby cast the counter curse and instantly his leg went back to normal.

“Thanks.”

“Blimey, I thought you had to be mean to hurt someone that badly,” the Slytherin spoke aloud rubbing his shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“Are you kidding? This is nothing. A few of us Slytherins start every day by doing what we just did. They say it gets you in the right mindset.”

“Mindset for what?” David asked, very curious as to what kind of culture he was dealing with.

“To toughen up and be the best,” came the simple reply.

He elected not to press the issue and instead emphasize his victory respectfully in hopes that Barnaby would finally acquiesce and willingly join his team.

“Well there’s no doubt you’re tough, Barnaby. Will you help me with the cursed vault?”

Barnaby smiled, although he was still in some pain from the duel. They both were.

“You’ve proven you’re strong enough to beat me. You have a deal, David. But on one condition.”

Oh Merlin

“And what would that be?”

“We celebrate with a butterbeer,” he said cherrily.

“But there’s no Hogsmeade visit this weekend.”

“I can never remember when those happen,” Barnaby said, scratching his head. “But luckily, I always keep some on hand.”

He summoned two canteens from his back pocket and handed one to David, which he took with a degree of surprise.

“Cheers!” the Barnaby said, clinking his canteen against his and taking a large sip. “Let’s take a walk around the grounds.”

David obliged and together, the two began to traverse around the perimeter of the school, taking in the light breeze and bright blue sky which was beginning to turn into a reddish, gold. The young teen didn’t know what to expect but he indulged Barnaby all the same, who appeared quite content.

“I love a good butterbeer after a duel. They say it heals all bruises and broken bones.”

“Who says that?” David asked, raising an eyebrow.

Barnaby shrugged.

“I can’t remember. I’m sure someone said it.”

Resisting the urge to openly chuckle, David again marveled at the simplicity that his newfound acquaintance operated under. It was stupidly charming in a way. Given this fact, there was a question lurking in his mind he felt he had to ask him.

“You say I’m nice, but you’re quite friendly yourself. Too friendly to be hanging out with Merula. How did you two end up being friends?”

Barnaby’s face turned frank and even a bit solemn.

“We have a lot in common. Both of our parents were Death Eaters.”

David had to resist choking on his butterbeer.

“Wait...really?” He knew Merula’s parents were locked up in Azkaban but this was new information to him.

“Why are you so surprised? Everyone knows Slytherins have the most interesting childhoods,” Barnaby stated as though it were obvious.

“Interesting is one way of putting it I suppose.”

“Do you mean being the children of Death Eaters? Because you’re not wrong. There’s a lot of us in Slytherin. We have to stick together because no one else will.”

David never considered this aspect before. There was something very raw but also very poignant about what the burly Slytherin was saying.

“I never thought of it that way, but you might be right.”

“That’s why I believe Harry Potter will be a Slytherin. Someone that powerful as a baby has to be in our house!”

“Who knows,” the Gryffindor said with a half shrug. “He could be incredibly brave too. Sounds more like my house.”

“It’s power that helps protect yourself and people you care about. It’s better to be strong than weak.”

David suddenly realized these weren’t only Barnaby’s words.

“Look I can’t believe I’m saying this, but not every Slytherin has to be obsessed with being powerful. You don’t seem that way. So why focus on it all the time?”

“Because it’s what my dad taught me. His words. ‘It’s better to be strong than weak.’ Anything that can make you more powerful can only help in that.”

He sighed as he put his canteen back inside the pants pocket.

“You probably think my family is mad. I don’t blame you.”

“Far from it,” David reassured him and suddenly they stopped in front of the Whomping Willow, a dangerous tree liable to strike anything that came near it.

“They were Death Eaters. To be a Death Eater, everyone says you have to be mad.”

“I can relate to unstable family members. Try me.”

Barnaby considered this for a second, silver rings glistening in the sunlight one of which was inscribed ‘Vires In Virtute’. Far from being a simpleton, this time the Slytherin was considering how to properly explain things.

“My family’s crest follows the creed of strength. We’ve also been pure blood for centuries. For my dad, it was an opportunity and a duty to remain both. He followed the Dark Lord more willingly than others….I saw him once, actually.”

David almost didn’t register that last remark. It was one thing to read about the darkest wizard in many generations but to see him? He almost did a double take.

“You saw You Know Who?”

“He stopped by once as a little kid. At first I was afraid but my parents told me if I could become as strong as the Dark Lord, I could be anything. Mum was nice, but dad always said I was slow. It was the best way for me to be good at something. So I’ve spent my entire life doing so, even after they were both arrested.”

“When did that happen?”

“Shortly after You Know Who died. Didn’t take long for the Aurors to catch up. They were well known for doing a lot of horrible things.”

Following the duel in the foggy snow, David remembered feeling a pang of sympathy for Barnaby when hearing Merula insulting him. That pang was now a large wave.

“Barnaby, mate. There’s more to life than being strong. And those other kids aren’t the only ones to take after. You should do what makes you happy rather than what pleases other people...including your mum and dad.”

He looked up at the willow alongside Barnaby, studying its bare branches and thick, gnarled trunk.

“I know what it’s like to try and live up to an older family member. I’m trying to find him right now. And that’s what I need your help with.”

“Your friends won’t hate me? Or think I’m mad?”

“No. If anything it’s the opposite,” David said truthfully. Even uninformed people thought Barnaby to be stupid but not crazy or cruel. “Besides, if I can ingratiate Tulip into our group I can with anyone.”

“What does ‘en-gradiate’ mean?”

David again had to stifle a chuckle but it was not a demeaning one. On the contrary, he was beginning to enjoy the way Barnaby’s mind worked.

“It means that I want you to join our little group...as a friend.”

He held out his hand in a final gesture of goodwill, which the burly Slytherin took, cementing their new friendship in a masculine bond.

“Thank you.”

It was settled. Somehow or another, David had convinced Barnaby Lee to switch sides, a huge victory no matter which way you sliced it. It was one step closer to solving the ultimate mystery they had yet to solve.

[lilacmoon83]

A Darker Curse

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 35: A Happy Beginning

"I...I don't understand. How is this even possible?" Maleficent asked, as she stared at her egg. Regina smiled.

"Apparently my mother had Cruella get your egg from the fire and keep it for a rainy day. Cruella, however, had her own plan and escaped to the Land Without Magic. I imagine she planned to show up here and use it as some kind of leverage," she explained.

"Fortunately, she was stopped from doing that," Robin added, as the egg suddenly cracked open. Maleficent's face glowed with happiness, as she welcomed her baby girl into the world.

"Congratulations," Regina said, as she and Robin looked on and Maleficent cradled her daughter. One more happy ending had been restored.

~*~

"So you got the file and everything else?" Emma asked, as she sat at the station phone. She was ready for some much needed time off, but had one more loose end to tie up with the outside world, before they were assured safety.

"Yes…I got your report from the medical examiner and according to my contact, the body showed up at the city morgue. In record time, might I add," Cleo replied.

"And Tamara? She's being arrested?" Emma asked.

"I'm watching it right now. She's screaming and insisting that she didn't kill this Greg Mendel, but I'm not worried. The case you sent to the police seems to be in order, though it was probably a good thing to keep your name off it," Cleo said.

"My Dad agreed. That's why he insisted on signing it and taking any outside calls if they are any. I just hope it sticks. This woman is really dangerous," Emma stressed.

"Relax Emma...I've seen convictions for cases that are less airtight than this one. She's going down," Cleo said.

"Thanks for all your help, Cleo. Take care," she said, as she hung up the phone and saw Neal leaning against the wall.

"Now are you ready to go? I'm starved and I can hear your stomach growling from over here," he teased. She smiled and joined hands with him, as they got their coats and put them on.

"Yeah...I really need a double order of onion rings," she replied. He chuckled.

"Yeah...that sounds good to me too," he agreed, as they turned out the lights and left the station, truly feeling like this was a new beginning.

~*~

Snow sighed dreamily, as she rested her head against her husband's bare chest, as they lay entwined together, cuddling after a passionate bout of lovemaking. Upon arriving home, they had breakfast together as a family and spent the whole day just relaxing and taking in the new freedom they felt. Cora was gone and all threats to them had been removed. There was also no longer the dark cloud of threats from outsiders overshadowing their happiness. And best of all, August was back to his adult self and Snow had her son back.

After spending the day together, August and Tink went on a real date, while Snow urged Emma and Neal go as well, leaving them to babysit their grandson. They had done so gladly, happy to stay in for the evening with some takeout and a movie. Then once little David had gone to bed, that left them to their own devices and they were soon in bed, making love, as the ever present passion between them begged to be satiated.

"I keep pinching myself...thinking that I'm going to wake up and find out that this was all a dream. And that I'm still back in Portland in an empty bed, wondering what you're doing and what your life is like under the curse," Snow whispered and he kissed her forehead.

"Not a dream my love, but I can pinch you if you'd like," he teased and she giggled.

"We made it, my darling. There was a lot of pain, for both of us, but it was all worth it for this moment," he said, as she kissed him passionately and they became lost in each other again, while remembering moments that had gotten them to this point.

~*~

Flashbacks

"David...the usual?" Ruby asked flirtatiously.

"Sure...thanks Ruby," he replied in a voice she hadn't heard in twenty years. Her knees went weak and her mouth felt like a desert, as she turned around and let her eyes soak him up.

Gods...the man hadn't changed. This David seemed unsure and less confident than her Charming. There was also a timidness and a sadness in his eyes that alarmed her, but it was him...her David, her Prince Charming.

Emma didn't miss the captivation on his face when he looked at her mother and it made her excited. This was him...her father, the man her mother had pined for her entire life. She could see her features in him and her obvious coloring that came from him.

"Are you new in town?" he asked. They nodded.

"Yes...this is my sister Emma and you met little David. And this is our Mom...Mary," August introduced, trying to snap their mother out of her daze.

"Mary…" he uttered.

"It's nice to meet you David," she finally managed, as they shook hands and they both felt the spark between them.

"Yeah…I'm sorry, but have we met before?" he asked.

"It certainly feels like it," she replied, as they remained captivated by each other.

~*~

"So...what brings a man like you out here alone tonight?" she asked.

"A man like me?" he asked. She smirked.

"If I had a man like you, I certainly wouldn't be spending my evening anywhere but by his side, preferably with his arms around me," she replied.

"My...Kathryn doesn't really want me around when she's entertaining her friends," he said sadly. She frowned. Everything she had been learning about what Charming's curse had been like was a stab to her heart. It was almost overwhelming, but she managed to keep her head. After all, she couldn't just blurt out the truth to him. David was emotionally and verbally abused. She had to do this delicately, for if she told him everything too soon, he might actually think she was mocking him. It's probably what Kathryn and her cronies had spent twenty years doing to him.

"Well, I'm glad I ran into you. I could use some company on my walks," she responded.

"What about your kids?" he asked. She smiled.

"Emma isn't much for the woods and Auggie likes to work on his writing in the evenings. Plus it's almost little David's bedtime," she mentioned.

~*~

"You took everything from me...and now I'm here to take it back, starting with my husband," she growled. Cora laughed.

"He's not your husband here...and you really think a woman of your advanced years can lure a man your son's age into your bed?" the Queen challenged. But Snow smirked.

"He will always be my husband...taking him from me and seeing to his abuse will be one of many things I will make you regret. You're going to lose," Snow stated.

"Funny...your husband said the same thing to me before he became Kathryn Nolan's arm candy," Cora goaded. Her eyes flashed with fury, as she glowered at this woman.

"Your reign is coming to an end, Your Majesty. Enjoy what little time you have left, because things are going to change in Storybrooke," she warned.

"Is that a threat, Princess?" Cora questioned. Snow smirked.

"No...it's a promise. Come on Auggie...let's go," she said

~*~

Mary stirred the batch of cocoa on the stove, while humming to herself. She listened idly to her children playfully bantering in the living room, as they watched something on the television when a knock interrupted them. She glanced at the clock, seeing that it was just after eight and wondered who it could be. August muted the television, as she wiped her hands on a towel and answered. She gasped, as she saw that it was David, looking broken and in tears.

"David!" she cried, as she ushered him in.

"What happened to you?" she asked, though she had a pretty good idea.

"Does that offer still stand?" he asked and she took in the sight of the bruises on his neck and hand marks on his face. She was terrified to think what other wounds were hidden beneath his clothes.

"Of course...you did the right thing in leaving and I promise you never have to go back," she said, as she led him to the couch. Realistically, she knew the long road ahead of them would be hard, but getting him away from the abuse was the first step in breaking this curse and making Cora pay for everything she had done...

~*~

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kathryn growled, as she approached the table. Little David whimpered from his high chair and Emma plucked him up, holding him.

"It seems you know if you were served the papers," David managed to say boldly. Kathryn looked stunned, as if she couldn't understand where he was getting the courage to defy her.

"This is ridiculous, David! Get your coat and get in the car. We're going home," she demanded of him. He fought the urge to shrink away from her and Mary squeezed his hand again.

"No," he said in defiance.

"Excuse me?" she questioned dangerously.

"You heard me. I said no and that's not my home anymore. I'm divorcing you," he replied, loudly enough so that everyone in the diner heard. And it caused instant gossip to ripple through the masses.

"If you go down this path...I'll make sure you regret it," Kathryn warned.

"No...you won't," Snow snapped, as the blonde looked at the raven haired beauty and smirked.

"What? You have Grandma protecting you?" she hissed.

"She's my friend," David snapped. Kathryn rolled her eyes.

"Please...I know a cougar when I see one," she accused, but it didn't phase Snow at all.

"Better to be a cougar than a leach, because I think everyone knows that all you've ever done is suck the life out of him," she retorted, which really riled up everyone that was enthralled by the spectacle.

"I'm not someone you want to cross, Ms. Swan. You have a beautiful family...I'd hate for something to happen to them," Kathryn warned, making David's eyes widened.

"Oh, if you do anything to my family, I'll grind you to dust," Snow warned back.

"And if she doesn't...I will," Regina interjected, as she arrived with August.

"Deputy Mayor," Kathryn greeted, seemingly un-threatened by the Mayor's daughter. Regina smirked.

"For now...but soon I'll be the Mayor," she retorted. Kathryn laughed.

"You really think you can beat your mother out for her seat?" she asked incredulously, but Regina kept smirking.

"Oh, I think the people of this town are more than ready for a real leader and not the tyrant that is my mother. Things are changing in Storybrooke," Regina said.

~*~

Their lips parted after a tender kiss and she smiled, before taking their cups and tossing them. And with that, she put her arms around his neck and their lips met again, this time with an even more intense passion.

"I've...never felt anything like what I'm feeling for you and yet...it's like I've known you forever," he uttered breathlessly.

"Like we've been looking for each other...and waiting for each other," she deduced for him. He nodded.

"And here you are...you found me and I found you," he said. Her breath hitched in her throat, as she could see the gears in his head churning at those words, like he had heard them or even said them before, but didn't remember.

"Before I met you...I didn't believe in love, let alone soul mates and you changed that the moment I saw you," he confessed.

"Sometimes two people belong together and it defies logic and reason. But I do know that love heals and brave can come from broken," she told him.

"I'm the broken one...but I feel less broken with you," he said. She smiled and cupped his face in her hands.

"I'm a bit broken myself...or I was, before you," she revealed and he saw the raw pain in her eyes. It made him want to hold her and attempt to kiss it all away. And he realized that this was what he had been missing in his life. He never thought he would be whole again and yet she was filling those cracks in him, mending his broken soul, and healing his heart. And he could see that he was doing the same for her.

"Come on...let's go in. I'd like to cuddle with you," she said, eyeing him coyly. He remembered her telling him the first night they had met that if she had a man like him, then she would be spending her evenings nowhere except in his arms. And now that was becoming a reality, which made a genuine smile spread across his face.

"Then I can't wait to hold you," he said, as they joined hands and went inside.

~*~

"We share a grandchild with the Dark One," she thought silently to herself. Boy, fate sure did have a twisted sense of humor.

"Well, for what it's worth...I actually don't think he's as bad as people think. I don't know, maybe I'm being naive," he lamented.

"No...I don't think so. I think you're right. I think he can be as bad as people think when he wants to be, but there's always two sides to a coin. Family can really change things," she offered. He smiled.

"I know what you mean," he agreed, as he looked at her and she smiled back, as they took the elevator to Mr. Gold's floor. They made their way to his room and found him awake.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" he mused.

"We need to talk," Mary said, as they entered his room and prepared to tell him that his son had arrived in Storybrooke.

~*~

"Then maybe we should talk," he said, as he pulled up a chair and sat down.

"You wanna talk?" she asked contentiously.

"Emma…" he started to say.

"No...let's talk," she said, as she sat down facing him.

"Okay...I was a coward and when August told me who you really were and that you were coming here as soon as you were able to find the place where the curse sent everyone...I panicked," he confessed.

"This curse...the Queen did it, but my father orchestrated it. Because of me," he added.

"I know that...August has been studying the curse since he was a kid! I mean, I didn't know that Baelfire was you, but you know what I mean. He's been transcribing all the stories from our land like some kind of fairy tale historian for years," she added. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

"Then you know what he did to me!" Neal responded.

"Yeah...he chose magic over you and that sucks," she replied. He looked at her indignantly, but wisely closed his mouth, because she was clearly not finished.

"But you know what also sucks? Every single thing my mother has endured because of this. Every single thing my father has endured because of this," she said.

"Then you get it! He's the reason for all of this!" he replied.

"I get that to a degree, but you're his kid and he'd do anything for you. And my Mom gets that. Cora is the real evil here," she added.

"I get that…" he started to say.

"No...I don't think you do," she retorted.

"Look...I get why you're pissed at him and what he did was really crappy. But he instantly regretted it," she told him. His eyes narrowed.

"How do you know that? Is that what he claims?" Neal questioned.

"Actually no...I know that, because of my brother," Emma revealed.

"I don't understand...I don't understand how August even knows any of that," he refuted.

"Maybe because not all magic is as bad as you think. I don't know how or why he was chosen, but August did all this," Emma revealed, as she pulled the brown leather book out of her bag.

~*~

"It's…" Snow started to say.

"A tree sapling?" he asked in confusion. Snow cocked her head to the side, wondering what it could mean. It was glowing, which definitely meant magic. She just wasn't sure if it was light or dark magic. As they got closer though, the magic emanating from it gave her a warm feeling and then she knew. She had felt light magic like this before...when Charming had kissed her to break the sleeping curse.

"Will you touch it with me?" she asked.

"Touch it?" he asked in confusion.

"Trust me," she requested and he shrugged, as they both touched the sapling. Memories of their life together assaulted Snow's subconscious, but there was one memory she saw that she had no idea he shared. She had suspected something for a while now from the moment she saw Wilby and now that it was confirmed, she felt like crying with joy. That day she was trapped by the woodcutter...he had been her rescuer. They had met before they even knew it and created this sapling as a symbol of the burgeoning true love they would go on to discover.

They pulled their hands away and David stumbled back, as his brain processed everything he had just seen. It was still running through his mind like a movie and he passed out.

"David!" Snow cried, as she knelt beside him and she began to panic.

"No...no...no...don't you dare do this! I just found you and I'm not letting you go again," she cried. What if all the memories were too overwhelming and all the progress he had made was reverted? Or worse...what if he woke up and had no idea who she was again.

"David please…" she pleaded, as she tried one last thing and planted a hard kiss on his lips.

"You can do this to me again...I can't survive losing you again," she cried, as his eyes snapped open and he stared up at her.

"David…" she squeaked and then started to cry, fearing the worst.

"Snow…" he croaked and her breath caught in her throat.

"What?" she asked, thinking her mind might be playing tricks on her.

"Snow...you found me…" he said and she cried out in surprise.

"Charming?!" she exclaimed. He smiled gently and sat up.

"I remember...I remember everything," he assured, as she threw her arms around him and started crying against his shoulder.

~*~

"Mom!" Emma called, as she rushed to her and they shared a tight hug, as David looked on with love and wonder in his eyes.

"Are you guys okay?" she asked, as they parted. Snow beamed at her and then held her face in her hands.

"We're better than okay," she gushed, as she looked at David and noticed how his eyes were watering.

"Honey...he got his memory back," Snow whispered. She gaped, as she looked at the man she only knew from all her mother and August's stories. She swallowed thickly, as she approached him, just as August found his way in behind her.

"Oh Auggie...I have him back," she gushed, as she hugged him tightly. He smiled and hugged her back.

"I'd ask if you're okay, but I guess you're better than okay," he whispered, as they watched Emma approach her father.

"Dad?" she squeaked and tears slipped down his cheeks.

"Emma…" he said in a choked voice, as she rushed into his arms and he hugged her tightly and gently cradled the back of her head with his hand. Emma instantly felt a sense of safety in his arms and now understood everything her mother had ever told her about him. She could see and feel how much he loved her; like it was just oozing from him.

"I've been waiting a long time for this," Emma said, as she smiled at him.

"I'm sorry it took so long, princess," he replied and she shook her head.

"That's not your fault," she assured, as August and Snow joined them.

~*~

"Do you think...the sapling could break the curse?" Snow asked. But he shook his head.

"As powerful as it is...the curse is written with very specific language. I must confess that I bottled a potion made of your true love and hid it...for a rainy day," Rumple replied.

"I know...my son is the author," Snow said, as she flipped through the book that showed an illustration of the bottle made from their true love.

"Wait...that was what was in the golden egg you made me hide in Maleficent?" David questioned. He nodded curtly.

"But there's no dragon in Storybrooke," Emma said.

"Sure about that, dearie?" Rumple questioned and her eyes widened.

"You brought a dragon to Storybrooke?" she questioned. He smirked.

"No...but the curse did. She's...asleep, for now," he answered.

"Okay...so I think the question I'd like to know is, how do I break the curse? Cause we've been here for a while and I still have no idea how to get it done," Emma said.

"Sorry dearie...I didn't foresee how you would do it. I only saw that you do," he answered.

~*~

"What...what is that?" Lacey asked, as pinkish/purple smoke began to billow from the well.

"Magic…" he said, as they were suddenly struck with a rainbow wave of rainbow colored light.

"Oh no…" he uttered.

"Rumple…" Belle cried, as he enveloped her in a bittersweet hug.

"I remember…" she said, with a smile and then she frowned.

"Does that mean…" she started to say.

"I'm afraid so...but magic is here. There might still be a chance for Emma," he replied.

"We have to go and now," he said, as he felt the magic at his fingertips once more and they disappeared in a puff of red smoke...

~*~

"Why did you stop!?" David screamed at Whale.

"I'm sorry...she's gone," he said apologetically and Snow let out a cry of anguish, as Regina crashed to her knees beside her, trying to hold her inconsolable sister.

"Emma's the Savior. She can break the curse with true love's kiss...but if she dies, it also breaks. Cora knew she was done, so she killed Emma in her final revenge," August said, in anguish.

"No...no!" David cried, as he cradled his little girl in his arms and cried over her. Snow crawled to him and kissed their daughter's forehead.

"Emma...you have to wake up, baby...you have to," she sobbed, as David put his free arm around her and they cried together with their heads pressed together, until she froze and spotted something over his shoulder.

"David…" she uttered and he turned to see what she was looking at.

"What is that?" she asked, noticing the ominous pink cloud.

"Magic…" Regina gasped, as the cloud barreled toward them and swept over them all, just as Rumple appeared with Lacey, though they realized that she probably wasn't Lacey anymore.

"Was that really magic?" Regina asked desperately.

"Yes...but it's different here, as you are probably discovering. Fortunately, I've already figured it out," Rumple said, as he approached.

"Papa...can you save her!?" Neal asked desperately, as he cradled their son and his tears pained him.

"I hope so...I hope it's not too late," he said, as he held up the cork that had been on the bottle.

"Long ago...I bottled true love from the hairs I collected from you both. That potion has brought magic here and the final drop is on this cork. It may be her only chance...your love created her and it is the only thing that can save her," he said, as he dropped the final drop into Emma's mouth. Rumple then used his returned magic to heal her wound, before stepping back into Belle's arms.

"Did it work?" she asked.

"I don't know," he replied, as moments passed and nothing happened. Hope began to dwindle in Snow and Charming, as they began to quietly cry together again. And just when Whale was about to gently tell them that they needed to call the time of death, Emma took a starved breath of air and opened her eyes. Snow and Charming looked down at her in amazement and began crying over her again, only this time in joy.

"What's going on?" Emma asked in confusion.

"You're okay...that's what matters the most," David replied.

"He's right, sweetheart," Snow cried.

"Hey Mom...you look younger again," Emma mentioned, as David looked up and noticed it too. Snow looked at her hand and noticed those subtle lines of aging were gone and put a hand to her face, instantly noticing that the lines around her eyes that were perhaps one sign that she was older than she looked were gone. Regina grinned at her and nodded.

"It would seem the breaking of the curse has returned the time that was lost to you," Rumple declared.

~*~

"Everything we went through...it was worth it all for this moment," Snow said, as they lay together after making love.

"Definitely and now we finally get that happy ending," he said.

"Except...it's not an end at all," she replied. He smiled.

"You're right...this is just the beginning," he agreed, as they kissed again and their passion consumed them once more.

~*~

One Year Later

"Oh look at you, handsome boy...you are going to be the cutest little ring bearer ever for your mommy and daddy," Snow cooed, as she finished getting him dressed in his tiny tux. Immediately, he started pulling at his bow tie and she straightened it again and felt her husband's presence, before she saw him.

"And there's my other handsome boys," she cooed, as he held their newborn son, who was only eight weeks old.

"Yep...this little guy is ready for his big sister's wedding," he said, as he came closer and kissed her tenderly. She smiled, as their lips parted and she kissed her son's forehead. David was dressed in his tux and their baby was dressed in the cutest onesie that had the print of a tux on it. But as usual, she was taking his breath away.

"You look so beautiful," he said in awe. She wore a soft pink dress, which had short sleeves, a scoop neck, and was knee length. It was light and airy, with a lacy overlay on satin material, perfect for the wedding's beach setting.

"Thank you, my love…" she replied, as she kissed him tenderly.

"Are we ready?" he asked.

"We are, aren't we babies?" she cooed to their grandson and infant son, as they prepared to leave their new house, which they had bought recently.

They loved the loft, but it was too small and instead found a nice two story house just down the street from Neal and Emma's new home.

~*~

They arrived at the beach to find everything was ready. Snow hugged Belle and Tink excitedly and then her son. Belle gladly held the baby, as Snow and David helped little David toddle back toward their spots to get ready for the procession.

Neal stood nervously at the altar, which was a white archway they had set up, while August stood beside him as best man. Archie awaited to officiate the ceremony with great mirth in his eyes.

Tink made her way down the aisle, as Emma's maid of honor and took her place and while everyone was chuckling at little David, as he toddled down the aisle with the ring on a pillow, David looked at his daughter.

"Emma...you look so beautiful," he said in awe.

"Thanks Daddy," she replied, as he hugged her gently.

"It's time...are you ready?" he asked. She nodded and hugged her mother as well.

"We love you so much baby," Snow gushed.

"I love you guys too," Emma replied, as her parents each took an arm and escorted her down the aisle to marry her true love.

~*~

After the wedding, they enjoyed the beach party and boardwalk reception and it was the greatest celebration Storybrooke had ever seen and with their peaceful, bright future ahead, it wouldn't be the last celebration they had.

August and Tink danced together and the former even was finally talking to Geppetto. It had been very rocky between them and while August would probably never have the relationship with him that Geppetto desired, they were at least talking again and Geppetto was slowly accepting that this was the way it would always be. Snow was his mother and he vowed to never wrong August again.

Snow and David danced closely to the soft music and gazed soulfully into each other's eyes, while Granny watched their baby son.

"I wasn't sure we'd ever get to a place like this," she whispered.

"I know...I had my doubts here and there too. But we made it, Snow. True love always wins," he assured and she smiled.

"Good always wins too," she agreed, as they shared a passionate kiss and continued to sway to the soft music. Their lips parted and they smiled at their daughter, as she danced with her husband. After all the darkness they had faced, they had finally found true happiness and peace. This wasn't the end for them though and only the beginning of a long, happy life together.

The End.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

TV Review: Crisis on Infinite Earths (Spoilers)

Part One: Supergirl

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the day after the episode airs in the U.S. so if you have not yet seen the first part of the crossover or are waiting for the entire crossover to become available then don’t read on until you have.

Overview:

We have SO MUCH to discuss! So much so that my Easter-Egg section which is usually more or less a minor tag-on at the end of these reviews is possibly going to be the same size as a lot of these other sections we are going through because, as promised by Marc Guggenheim, Easter has come early and we were treated to quite a few very tasty Easter-Eggs, one of which had me cheering at the screen.

But with Part One of this 5-episode crossover already giving us so much action, drama and emotion, it’s not only a question on how the Multiverse survives, but how the rest of the crossover does as well.

In the Beginning:

I love a good theory of evolution story, and we have heard in Arrow over the past season that The Monitor has been around for eons so it stands to reason he was around at the start of creation itself.

I just the sentiment of “In the beginning there was one singularity that soon spawned a multiverse”. It’s a lot like Doctor Who’s first rock theory from “The Runaway Bride”. I don’t know enough about the beginning of all life to actually determine what created the universe, I am more inclined to believe evolution than creationism, but I do like this idea of one reality spawning many.

I wasn’t so crazy about the visuals of this, especially considering in the past whenever we have viewed the Multiverse it’s always been within the Speed Force so we’re used to that blue energy rather than this red darker energy but it seems to be in-keeping with the theme of the crossover so I’m going with it.

Also LaMonica Garrett, who deserves some sort of award recognition not only for appearing as a series regular in both Arrow and The Flash this season but also wearing what I’m sure is the heaviest outfit created, but selling it very well, even the cheesy prophet of doom voice he has down rather well.

Multiverse Annihilation:

Alright so this was obviously to be expected that we would see some if not a lot of Earths be destroyed during this crossover, but my god they don’t pull punches in starting by letting you know “Yeah we’re killing off a lot”.

Now the Earths we see erased during the opening of this episode are Earth-9, Earth-66, Earth-89 and Earth-X. Of those four, we have only ever seen Earth-X which was the Nazi-ruled Earth from two crossovers ago.

Now while there was a great and uncredited cameo here from it and we’ll discuss that further down, would anyone really be sad if a reality where the Nazis won and ruled was wiped out? I know there are inhabitants on that world and for the most part they are innocent and good people, but you would think just maybe find a way to evacuate them like they do on Earth-38 later and then if it goes extinct then fine because it’s not exactly a good reality.

Both Earth-66 and Earth-89 also has great Easter-Eggs just in the name and we’ll discuss that also further down but it is interesting that both Earths-66 and 89 only focused on Gotham City whereas this was the Supergirl episode of the crossover.

Rallying the Team:

Okay so Harbinger, who either was Lyla Michaels but is now an emissary of the Anti-Monitor or simply likes using her Task Force X codename, appears to all the major heroes just as we saw her do in last week’s episode of Arrow and summons them all to Earth-38 aka Supergirl’s Earth.

I have to say as well, I know they’re on a TV budget and can’t really afford to have as many characters in one scene as say Avengers: Endgame did, but the fact they cheapened out and only gave us two Legends (Sara and Ray), rather then also showing Nate, Constantine, Mick and Charlie as well does seem a tad unfair especially considering they’ve been absent from screens the longest, some may say for the better considering the way their show is going.

Also, I will probably talk about this more with the Batwoman episode tomorrow, but they need to clarify the timeline of her show. When we first met her in Elseworlds last year she was Batwoman, but the start of her season saw her become Batwoman, and now she’s still hunting for Alice? How long has it been?

Also, as expected, Tyler Hoechlin’s Superman and his Lois Lane join the party after Argo City is destroyed and they send of their newborn son in a pod to safety. Argo City’s destruction also sees the death of Kara’s mother Alura played by Erica Durance but because I know who’s coming in tonight’s episode and the possibly jokes they’ll make about it I am okay with that as a Smallville fan.

I do always like it in these crossovers when the heroes either first meet or reunite, this time Oliver’s daughter but from the future Mia Smoak and Batwoman are officially introduced as Batwoman reveals herself as Kate Kane, to Oliver’s bemusement.

I do wish also that there was more time spent on character interaction because that is usually what I enjoy most about these crossovers, we had a little bit of that with Brainy and Ray, but Elseworlds I felt established a great repour for Batwoman and the Trinity yet that wasn’t really seen here.

My biggest complaint in this Supergirl episode though is that both Brainy and J’onn were never seen in their natural forms. I know it’s costly and timely to have them look like Brainiac 5 and the Martian Manhunter, but when they just look like Jesse Rath and David Harewood, no matter how great these guys are it’s a comic book crossover event and I would love to see more comic-booky character looks.

Alright so, Harbinger sits down the newly formed or reformed or updated team because they’ve come together now four times to help save a world or multiple worlds or now reality itself and just need to be called the Justice League and get it over with, but anyway I digress.

She instructs the team that the tower that randomly appears was one of many placed by the Monitor on Earths he thought were at risk...why he didn’t just place them on every god damn Earth if he could see the future is beyond me but that’s what we’re getting.

I did like a couple of interactions before going into action where Oliver seamlessly interacted with Barry, Sara and Mia without making it seem forced.

My favourite was the interaction with daughter Mia when he effectively passes on the mantle of Green Arrow to her despite the fact she’s not ready to lose him. I don’t know whether or not the spin-off series focusing on Mia as New Green Arrow has been confirmed yet but we know she will become Green Arrow in the near future.

So Oliver, Mia, Ray and Kate go off and battle the Shadow Demon army that are swarming the tower trying to destroy it for the Anti-Monitor, while Barry, Kara and Clark are off trying to save the people.

I will admit Ray didn’t annoy me quite as much as he has done in recent seasons of Legends during this episode. I did love his interactions with Kate about her suit getting an upgrade and then her asking him to upgrade her batarangs, when Brandon Routh is good he is good and he is pulling double duty in this crossover so let’s hope he’s very good.

Also at this time Lois, because she needs something to do, has gone to Earth-16 with Brainy and Sara to retrieve baby Jonathan who wound up going through a wormhole and ending up on a parallel world...in the future...2046 to be exact.

This was, I feel, there for two reasons. 1) Another Easter-Egg appearance but this time in-house as it references Legends Season 1, but also 2) To still keep the events of “Star City 2046) canon despite the fact that in that episode Connor Hawke was actually John Diggle Jr. and in present day they are not only two separate people but also adoptive brothers...and also we know Oliver is supposed to die so how is he alive in 2046? Well it’s an alternate reality version who apparently can’t remember meeting Earth-1 Sara before.

Our two other teams rallying really only serve to give the rest of the Supergirl cast something to do as Alex enlists Lena to help either build or activate portals to get the inhabitants of Earth-38 to safety while Dreamer and Kelly help get those inhabitants onto ships including the Legion Cruiser that J’onn is piloting because apparently Brainy was given it by the Legion before they left with Winn despite the fact they left in the Legion Cruiser. It doesn’t really make sense but I enjoy seeing that ship again so I am letting it slide.

Saving the Multiverse, Take 1:

This may be quite cynical for me to say but this is what the remainder of the episode was, the first attempt at saving the multiverse because Earth-38 is where The Monitor wanted the heroes to make their stand against the Anti-Monitor.

The Anti-Monitor does not appear in this episode and his army of Shadow Demons are 1) Poorly rendered compared to the likes of the Time Wraiths and 2) Quite easy to defeat when you consider Darkseid has Parademons and even Thanos with his legion of horribles.

In any case while the Supers are trying to fix the tower to make the sky not red which works margingly well before they exhaust themselves, the other heroes are on the ground battling the Shadow Demons. I would have maybe liked if Ray had to cover the Supers while they were doing what they do because it seemed slightly daft that the Shadow Demons wouldn’t try and stop them but that’s what we got.

It was a very small-scale battle and I know we’re only in part 1 and usually it’s the final episode we get the big battle but this was still small scale considering what is at stake here.

The biggest surprise of the battle was Kelly Olsen, who I haven’t really liked all season as she seems pointless other than just being Alex’s girlfriend who always needs saving, apparently has the Guardian armour left to her by James who retired from vigilantism to take over a newspaper in his old hometown and that’s why he left despite never actually being part of these crossovers, his dopplegangers were.

This was also a very low-powered battle. Think about it, the Supers, Flash and Atom all have CGI powers or tech yet we didn’t really see much of it, aside from the Supers trying to fix the tower. Maybe they’re saving the budget for later episodes but it better pay off.

The Monitor comes in as the prophet of doom to basically tell them that they’ve lost this battle but the war still rages, so transports everyone aside from Oliver to Earth-1 Star City.

Oliver refuses to leave and makes one of the most poignent comments I have ever heard him say when The Monitor says “It’s time” and Oliver asks “Has everyone been evacuated” The Monitor responds with “No” so Oliver responds “Then it’s not yet time”. From the trailer I thought this to mean it was time for his death, but actually this was something The Monitor was trying to prevent as he did not see him dying this way, but he does.

Stephen Amell delivers both this line and scene very well. I have never been the biggest Stephen Amell fan and do feel as if he goes to the corny side a little too much but here, given the interactions he had with Barry, Mia and Sara in the episode, and knowing that Arrow is ending and he is supposed to die, it was minorly emotional which is the most emotion he’s ever got out of me.

Fallen Arrow:

The Monitor returns a battered and bleeding Oliver to the Arrowcave in Star City Earth-1 where the rest of the heroes have returned to. Along with the news that they were somewhat successful at evacuating Earth-38 before it was destroyed, it seems that Oliver does actually die in this episode.

First of all, the fact that Supergirl is disheartened to know they didn’t save everyone is stupid because they only worked to evacuate one city compared to the entire planet. Secondly, we know that the episode of Arrow after this crossover will not include Stephen Amell...but to lose him on part one of the crossover does seem like a red herring.

Also I do not think he would die on any other show but his own and that part isn’t until January 14, so I don’t think this is the last of Oliver we’ve seen.

However, out of nowhere, Pariah appears. Pariah is Harrison “Nash” Wells who is the latest Harrison Wells to appear on The Flash and was the main focus of the Crisis teaser at the end of every Arrowverse show over the last two weeks.

I have to say 1) His suit makes him look like Doctor Doom and 2) I haven’t had the time to be as invested with this Wells as I was with Harry Wells or H.R. Wells or even Sherloque Wells to supposedly feel bad for him that he has become Pariah as his penance for freeing the Anti-Monitor.

He is however another harbinger which sounds stupid to say as there is a character literally called Harbinger but not only is Lyla one but so is the Monitor and now Pariah. I’ll be curious to see where this leaves him after the crossover because, unlike almost every crossover before, this is the one that promises ramifications across the multiverse.

Easter-Eggs:

Alright here we go, as I said in the opening Multiverse Annihilation alone, there were multiple Easter-Eggs that not only connect the Arrowverse to various other DC properties but also just have some very cool cameos.

I do have mixed feelings on what they’re doing, as it does look like they are actually trying to combine every DC TV property and possibly movie into the same multiverse which is crazy but it could possibly work.

Titans:

This is the one I cheered at my screen for in a similar way to when they played the Smallville theme while showing their version of the Kent Farm in Elseworlds last year.

As mentioned before, one of the Earths wiped out by Antimatter is Earth-9. On this Earth we focus on San Francisco and two costumed heroes as Antimatter obliterates everything, Hawk and Jason Todd’s Robin. These characters are portrayed by Alan Ritchson and Curran Walters who are the actors portraying these characters in these suits in Titans over on DC Universe.

It was rumoured some time back that Titans would appear in this crossover but never confirmed, I know because for my job I’ve reported on everything to do with Crisis.

Now clearly there’s nothing to say these are the same characters from Titans, particularly as the end of Titans Season 2 saw Jason Todd leave the Titans and we don’t see Nightwing, Dove, Starfire, Raven or Gar, but considering Black Lightning is joining the Multiverse it stands to reason that Titans can as well.

This does also mean that Titans is now on Earth-9, while Arrow, The Flash, Batwoman and Legends are primarily on Earth-1 and Supergirl is on Earth-38.

Batman ‘66

Speaking of other Earths, we have two others that are wiped out in the opening and both focus on Gotham City, why? Well we have Earth-66 which features an elderly gentleman in red walking his dog and seeing the red skies exclaims “Holy Crimson Skies of Death!”.

This gentleman is portrayed by Robin veteran Burt Ward and the character is confirmed to be Dick Grayson of the Batman 1960s series.

This is wrapped up very nicely and honoured in the fact that the Earth is numbered 66 to pay homage to the fact that 1966 is the year the Batman series begun.

Batman ‘89

Similarly, the other Earth we see obliterated is Earth-89. Here we see another Gotham City with a man reading an edition of the Gotham City Gazette that shows a distorted image of Batman with the headline “Batman Captures Joker”.

The man reading the paper is revealed to be Alexander Knox portrayed by Robert Wuhl, reprising his role from the 1989 Batman movie starring Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight and Jack Nicholson as The Joker.

It has also been rumoured before that Michael Keaton would reprise his role as Batman in this crossover, while I still choose to debunk these rumours, it’s official that the 1989 Batman is now canon within the Arrowverse. This takes the Arrowverse from simply being the DC TV Universe to an actual Multiverse spanning TV and Film, something the MCU hasn’t properly managed to do yet.

Star City 2046:

So as mentioned before, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow’s first season had an episode titled “Star City 2046″ where the Legends arrived in a dystopian Star City where Deathstroke’s son Grant Wilson was the new Deathstroke and Connor Hawke was the new Green Arrow and revealed as John Diggle Jr, Diggle’s son which at the time was crazy because Diggle had a daughter Sara before Barry created Flashpoint and replaced Sara with John Diggle Jr...keeping up?

So in the future of this Post-Flashpoint timeline that this universe is now in, we see that Connor Hawke and John Diggle Jr. are two separate people with Connor being the biological son of Ben Turner aka Bronze Tiger and John Diggle Jr now being the leader of the Deathstroke Gang.

This of course caused conflict with that episode of Legends, but because Legends never really follows the rules anyway I think everyone simply let it slide but now we have a loophole way of explaining things.

It turns out that when the Legends travelled to Star City in the year 2046, they also travelled to a parallel Earth, Earth-16. Now this is still in the future so I don’t think they’re saying it’s set, but what they are saying is it still happened and they didn’t overwrite their own lore basically.

We do only see Oliver here, who still has a cybernetic arm from before which Sara remembers and uses to her advantage, but Oliver doesn’t seem to remember that this Sara is not his Sara despite them having a rather candid conversation in that episode.

Also Joseph David-Jones portrayed Connor Hawke of that Earth in “Star City 2046″ so of course it makes sense for him to return as the Connor Hawke of Earth-1 in the future, but why didn’t he appear in this episode if he is already part of the cast of Arrow this season?

The Ray:

Briefest of cameos and unfairly uncredited in my opinion but we see a brief glimpse of Ray Terrill aka The Ray portrayed by Russell Tovey flying through the skies of Earth-X before being obliterated. Tovey first portrayed The Ray in “Crisis on Earth-X” two years ago and was part of the first openly gay male relationship in comic-book history with Wentworth Miller’s Leo Snart.

He then went on to voice the character in his own short-lived animated web series Freedom Fighters, but to see him return in live-action even for a brief uncredited cameo shows how much Tovey respects both the character and this universe and I love him even more for that.

Jonathan Kent:

Alright so I’ve mentioned baby Jonathan a couple of times because we knew Lois was pregnant at the end of Elseworlds last years however now seeing Jonathan Kent Jr. I am excited for what this could mean going forward.

In the comics, Jonathan is the son of Superman and Lois Lane given the full name Jonathan Samuel Kent to honour both his grandfathers and is a Kryptonian-Human hybrid who becomes the new Superboy and teams up with Damian Wayne, the Teen Titans and the Legion of Superheroes.

So when Brainy mentioned him going through a wormhole and time-travelling I thought they may be setting up that he’ll be taken in by the Legion, Mon-El may return with a grown-up version of him later in the season or something, but no he’s safe and Lois has him back.

The one thing I will say about him is I hope the writers don’t relegate Tyler Hoechlin’s already minimal Super-Antics into simply being Super-Dad. The odd dad line is funny but I hope that’s not all he is.

I am going to wait until Part 5 to rank the entire crossover but if they keep the momentum that Part 1 managed to accelerate then this could be the greatest TV accomplishment ever and could even rival Avengers: Endgame in how they literally bring worlds together.

So that’s my review of Crisis on Infinite Earths: Part One, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC TV Reviews as well as other TV Reviews and posts.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

2010s Art: Music, Games, and TV

So I love all forms of art. It may not seem like it since I tend to stick mainly to movies, with the odd cartoon or video game thrown in, but that’s really because movies are more my thing due to not being massive time investments. Like, don’t get me wrong, I gamed, I watched TV, I listened to music, but it was a lot more casual than my deep dive into becoming a major cinephile.

With games and TV, it was mostly issues of money and time respectively. I have a few consoles, mostly Nintendo and Sony ones, and my wife helped me experience Xbox games, but I just don’t have the money needed to experience every good game that comes out. With TV, the time investment is the biggest roadblock, especially when all the best shows have hour-long episodes these days. With movies, I just have to spend 90 minutes to two hours on average; for TV, it’s countless hours I could be watching movies. As for music… well, I listened to a lot, I just don’t feel totally qualified to properly rank and list songs and albums.

So instead of the big decade-spanning list for movies that I’m doing, I’m going to go over some things I enjoyed from the past decade and maybe a few things I didn’t in music, TV, and video games. Here’s a little guide so you know what stuff is something I consider one of my absolute favorites in any given medium - if it’s from this decade, it will be in bold, and if it’s from a previous decade but I experienced it this decade, it will be underlined.

Television

I figured I’d get this out of the way first since it’s the medium I have the least experience with. Let me put it this way: I have seen only one season of Game of Thrones, the first one (and by all accounts I dodged a bullet by dropping that show). I also had the misfortune of jumping in to The Walking Dead right as it was gearing up for its abysmal second season, which turned me off that and led to me only watching an episode here or there. 

I had better luck watching live action shows on streaming. I managed to get through almost all of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, which was a chore in and of itself; it’s a good show, but boy could it ever get arbitrary and frustrating. Speaking of Netflix, I think it goes without saying that Stranger Things is their best effort; from the likable cast of kids to the awesome soundtrack, even though it never really surpasses season one the show always has something cool going on in one of its plots. My other favorite from Netflix would probably be their take on A Series if Unfortunate Events, which is how you do adaptation expansion right; everything they add feels like it’s in service of fleshing out Lemony Snicket’s dismal world, as well as giving Patrick Warburton an incredible dramatic role as the Lemony narrator himself.

Amazon managed to score two hits in my book. The first is the unbelievably fun and charming Good Omens, a miniseries that somehow got me to love David Tennant and Michael Sheen more than I already did. The second was the gory joyride that is The Boys which while not the smartest or most original superhero satire is definitely the most fun.

While I didn’t watch the whole show and would not consider it one of my favorites, I do want to give props to Hannibal for introducing me to Mads Mikkelsen. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only person aside from Hopkins worthy of playing everyone’s favorite cannibal. Another show I DO consider a favorite despite slacking on keeping up with it is Ash vs. Evil Dead; I only needed to see a single season of Bruce back with the boomstick to know this show was a masterpiece.

On the animated side I have much more to talk about. Not since the 90s have we been spoiled with so many genuinely great and varied cartoons. We got Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe… really, Cartoon Network raised the bar this decade and made up for an awful 2000s. They even finally gave Samurai Jack a conclusion, which despite the mixed results, was still a real exciting phenomenon to experience.

Of course, my favorite CN show came from Adult Swim. I am of course referring to Rick & Morty, a fun sci-fi adventure comedy that attracted the most obnoxious fanbase possible in record time. While certainly not a show you need a high IQ to understand and having an atrocious third season, it still manages to be funny and thought provoking in equal amounts. Seriously though. Fuck season 3.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is another great show that I sadly fell off the wagon of around the fifth or sixth season. It never got bad of course but it never really engaged me like the older episodes, though what I’ve heard of the last season makes me wish I’d kept up with it. It was a great show with a lot of heart and character, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see a show like it again.

Netflix did not slack in the animation department; I didn’t catch their most famous show (it’s the one about a certain Horseman) but I did catch their fantastic take on Castlevania, which as a huge fan of the series was a real treat. Where the fuck is Grant though?

My two favorite shows of the decade, however, are what I see as the pinnacle of East and West: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and Gravity Falls. 

JJBA is a series I had vague passing knowledge of, only knowing its existence due to seeing Stone Ocean referenced on the Wikipedia page for air rods when I was younger and, of course, the memes that spawned from Heritage for the Future, which were inescapable back in the day. As soon as I got into the series, it became one of my biggest inspirations, teaching me you can be deep, complex, and filled with great character interactions while also being so batshit insane that every new and absurd power is incredibly easy to buy (looking forward to the rainbows that turn people into snails, animators). They managed to get through the first four parts and start up the fifth over the decade; so far my favorite part is four, mainly due to the magnificent bastard that is Yoshikage Kira (played time perfection by D.C. Douglas) and in spite of serial creep Vic Mangina playing the otherwise lovable asshole Rohan Kishibe.

Gravity Falls on the other hand is just a fun and engaging mystery show that manages to excel at being episodic and story-driven all at once. There’s only one or two “bad” episodes across two seasons, and it lasted just as long as it needed to, wrapping things up with a satisfactory ending that still gave fans a few mysteries to chew on. It also gave us Grunkle Stan, perhaps the greatest character in all of animation, the pinnacle of “jerk with a heart of gold” characters who is hilarious, badass, and complex all at once. This is my favorite western animated show…

...but then the last year of the decade threw a curveball and, if I’m being honest, is on par with Gravity Falls: Green Eggs and Ham. Netflix really wanted us to know 2D animation is back in 2019; between this show and Klaus, the future is looking bright for the medium. It’s a fun, funny roadtrip comedy that knows when to be emotional and when to be funny, and it’s all filtered through the wubbulous world of Dr. Seuss. It’s just a wonderfully delightful show.

And on the subject of JoJo, I had a kind of love-hate relationship with anime this decade. The attitudes of anime fans turned me off from anime for a long while. Sure, I checked out stuff like Attack on Titan and Sword Art Online, but neither series really clicked with me. The main anime I loved this decade were ones that started in the 2000s and ended in the 2010s, like Dragon Ball Z Kai and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I suppose I did enjoy My Hero Academia, which is a really fun show with an awesome and varied cast and great voice acting. Love Froppy, best girl for sure.

One of the most unfortunate things about this decade was how many great shows got screwed over by their networks. Sym-Bionic Titan, Thundercats, and The Legend of Korra were all great shows in their own right but were treated like shit by their respective networks. It really makes me upset that stuff like that not only happened, but continues to happen to this day.

But let’s not end on a bad note; let’s talk about the astounding returns old shows got. Invader Zim got a movie as did Hey Arnold, with the latter in particular finally wrapping up the dangling plot threads, but those are actual TV movies so they don’t really fit here; what DOES fit is Static Cling, the triumphant return of Rocko’s Modern Life. A forty minute special, it follows Rocko and his friends as they navigate the modern age, trying to bring back Rocko’s favorite cartoon. Rachel Bighead’s arc in this in particular is pretty groundbreaking and awesome. 

Also awesome was the first few episodes of Samurai Jack’s return, though it did end up petering out halfway through the season and ended on an anticlimactic note. Still, Tom Kenny’s Scaramouche, the sheer amount of continuity, and the awesome final curbstomp battle against Aku are worth giving this a watch. And if nothing else, stuff like this gives me hope for future revivals. What will we see next? Gargoyles comeback? Batman Beyond continuation? KENNY AND THE CHIMP REVIVAL?! Chimpers rise up!

Music

Much like everyone, I listened to a lot of music this decade. There was a lot of shit, and I definitely used to be one of those “wow no one makes good music anymore” morons, but I grew out of that and learned to look in the right places.

Let’s start with the albums I loved the most. Continuing her meteoric rise from the 2000s, Lady Gaga drooped her magnum opus, Born This Way, an album that successfully showcases her skills as she takes on numerous pop styles. No two songs sound the same, and with a couple of exceptions every song slaps. While we’re on the subject of pop stars, Gaga’s contemporary and lesser Katy Perry managed to hit a home run with the fun bit of pop fluff that was Teenage Dream.

Weird Al was sorely missed for most of the decade, but what albums he did drop featured some of his best work. While Alpocalypse doesn’t hold up quite so well, it’s still solid, but even then it is blown out of the water by Mandatory Fun, an album that just refuses to stop being funny from start to finish. And that’s not the only funny albums this decade; aside from artists I’ll get more into later, George Miller AKA Filthy Frank released Pink Season as one of his last great acts as his character of Pink Guy. The album is as raunchy and filthy as you’d expect. And then for unintentional comedy, Corey Feldman dropped Angelic 2 The Core, an album so musically inept that it ends up becoming endearing; it’s The Room of music.

As I gamed a lot this decade I got to experience a lot of great video game soundtracks, but the two I found to be the absolute best were Undertale and Metal Gear Rising’s. I couldn’t tell you which soundtrack is better, and I’ve actually made a playlist on my iPod containing my favorite tracks from both games. Pokemon had solid soundtracks all decade, but they definitely were better in single tracks such as Ultra Necrozma’s theme from USUM and Zinnia’s theme from ORAS.

And speaking of individual songs, there were a lot I really loved. The disco revival in the easel ide half of the decade lead to gems like “Get Lucky,” “Uptown Funk,” and… uh, “Blurred Lines.” The controversy to that one might be overblown, but it sure isn’t anything I really want to revisit.

Corey Feldman may be the king of unintentional comedy, but this decade was seriously ripe with so bad it’s good music. The crown jewel is without a doubt the giddy, goofy “Friday,” but I think the equally stupid but also endlessly more relatable Ark Music production “Chinese Food” is worth some ironic enjoyment as well. 

Meme songs in general were pretty enjoyable, though it came at a price. Remember when everyone tried to be funny by ripping off “Gangnam Style?” Remember when people took that Ylvis song at face value? Irony and satire were lost on the masses. I think the best mene song of the decade, though, is “Crab Rave,” a bouncy instrumental dance track with a fun music video and an absurd yet hilarious meme tacked to it. And then we have “The Internet is for Music,” a gargantuan 30 minute mashup featuring every YTMND, 4chan, Newgrounds, and YouTube meme you could think of (at the time of its release anyway),

Then we get into artists. Comedy music was great this decade, with Steel Panther and The Lonely Island putting out great work all decade, but by far my favorite funny band is Ninja Sex Party. Dan “Danny Sexbang” Avidan and Brian “Ninja Brian” Wecht are pretty much my favorite entertainers at this point, with them easily being able to go from doing goofy yet epic songs where they fuck or party to doing serious and awesome cover albums where Dan flexes his impressive vocals. A big plus is how all of their albums are easily some of my favorites ever, with not a single bad CD, and that’s not even getting into their side project Starbomb. These guys are a treasure.

Then we have Ghost, a Swedish metal band who play up the Satanic panic for all it’s worth. These guys captured my interest when I heard the beautiful “Cirice” on the radio, and despite that song rocking the fuck out, Imagine my surprise when it ended up being only middle of the road awesome for this band! With killer original songs like “Rats,” “Mary in the Cross,” and “Square Hammer” to a awesome covers like “Missionary Man” and “I’m a Marionette,” it’s almost enough to get a guy to hail Satan. I think they appeal to me mainly because they have a style very in line with the 80s, most evident on tracks like “Rats.” 

While I’d hesitate to call him one of my favorite musicians yet (he is really good so far though), one of my favorite people in entertainment is Lil Nas X. From his short but sweet songs that crush genre boundaries to his hilarious Twitter feed, this guy is going places and I can’t wait to see what those places are.

And finally, the guy I think may be one of the greatest creative geniuses alive and who has nearly singlehandedly shaped Internet culture with everything he does… Neil Cicierega. While it’s not like I only discovered him in the 2010s - the guy has been an omnipresent force in my life since Potter Pupper Pals debuted - he definitely became the guy I would unflinchingly call the greatest artist of our time over that period.   Whether he’s releasing the songs under his own name or as Lemon Demon, you can always be sure that the songs are going to burrow into your brain. His Lemon Demon album Spirit Phone, which features songs about urban legends and the horrors of capitalism, is easily my pick for album of the decade. And then under his own name he released three mashup mixtapes: Mouth Sounds, Mouth Silence, and Mouth Moods. All three are stellar albums, but only Mouth Moods has “Wow Wow,” the bouncing track about homoerotic bee-loving Will Smith and outtakes so good they deserve to be on the next album.

Video Games 

Having a PC this decade was great because it let me experience a lot of games I probably wouldn’t have otherwise, like Half-Life, BioShock, Earthnound, Mother 3, and Final Fantasy VI and VII. All of these and more are among my favorite games of all time now, but we’re here to talk about the stuff from this decade I consider great.

It’s hard to talk about this decade in gaming without mentioning Skyrim. Yes, it has flaws and the main storyline is a bit undercooked, but there’s so much fun to be had dicking about in the wilderness it’s hard to be too mad. And if you have mods, there are endless opportunities to expand the game. The same is true for the other game I have sunk countless hours into, The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. Not only is there a thriving modding community, but it has been supported and encouraged by the creators and some mods have even made the leap into becoming fully canon! It’s always a blast to revisit and see how far I can break the game with item combos.

Surprisingly, Batman managed to get not one, not two, but THREE awesome licensed games this decade! Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, and the unfairly maligned Arkham Origins all kick as much ass as the Dark Knight himself. The former two reunite Mark Hamill and Kevin McConroy as Joker and Batman while the latter features numerous stellar boss battles. The combat in these games is so graceful and fluid, you WILL feel like Batman at some point, be it after flawlessly clobbering two dozen mooks or silently eliminating a room of thugs before they even realize you’re there.

Pokémon had a bit of a rocky decade; it started out strong with the fifth generation, the best games in the series with a great story, region, and sidequests and then just went downhill from there. Not incredibly so, of course - the games were always fun at least - but gens VI through VIII were not the most graceful steps into 3D. Still, every gen managed to produce some of my all-time favorite Pokémon. Gen V had Volcarona, Chandelure,  and Meloetta; Gen VI gave us Hoopa, Klefki, the Fairy type in general, and a gorgeous mega evolution for my favorite Pokémon, Absol; Gen VII had the Ultra Beasts and Ultra Necrozma, some of the coolest concepts in the series, as well as Pyukumuku; and Gen VIII gave us Cinderace, Dracovish, Dracozolt, Polteageist, Hatterene, Snom, and Zacian. And those are just samplings mind you, these gens are full of hits.

Bringing back old franchises yielded amazing results. Look no further than the triumphant return of Doom in 2016, which had you ripping and tearing through the forces of Hell with guns, chainsaws, and your bear fucking hands. This game is HARDCORE. Less bloody and gory but no less awesome was the return of not just Crash Bandicoot, but Spyro as well in remakes that are easily the definitive ways to experience the games. And don’t even get me started on the remastered DuckTales!

Platinum games did not fuck around this decade, delivering Bayonetta 2 and Metal Gear Rising. The former is a balls-to-the-wall sequel to the amazing original Bayonetta that, while lacking in bosses quite as impressive as the first game’s, is more polished and has a fun story and a better haircut for Bayonetta; the latter is an action game so insane it makes the rest of the Metal Gear franchise look tame in comparison. The latter in particular is in my top ten games ever, with every boss battle feeling epic, all the music kicking ass, and Raiden truly coming into his own as a badass.

Speaking of Metal Gear, the divisive The Phantom Pain easily earns its place here. While much fuss has been made about the game being “unfinished,” it still has a complete and satisfying ending even if it doesn’t totally wrap up the dangling plot threads the young Liquid Snake leaves behind. The overarching themes as well as Venom and his relationship with characters like Kaz, Paz, and ESPECIALLY Quiet make this game, with his and Quiet’s being particularly beautiful and tragic. The Paz quest, Quiet’s exit, and the mission where Snake has to put down his men after they get infested with parasites are all some of the most heartbreaking moments in the franchise. But it’s not all tears; there’s plenty of fun to be had harassing Russians in Afghanistan while blaring 80s synth pop from your Walkman. Oh yeah, and fuck Huey.

The Ace Attorney series also thrived, with both Spirit of Justice and Dual Destinies transitioning the series into 3D a lot more graceful than some other franchises while still maintaining the with and charm the series is known for. And if that wasn’t enough for my point-and-cluck adventure needs, Telltale had me covered with The Wolf Among Us and the first season of The Walking Dead. The stories and characters of those games are so good, it’s enough to make you sad they never got a timely sequel or sequels that weren’t shit respectively.

This decade is when I really got into fighting game, though I’m not particularly good. I supported Skullgirls (and am even in the credits!), and got into Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle (and I also got into its spiritual predecessor, Heritage for the Future). But by and large my favorite fighting game of the decade and the one I’m actually pretty good at is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the most ridiculously ambitious crossover in video game history. The fact that the game is STILL getting more characters added is a testament of how insanely great the game is because instead of being mad that there’s so much DLC, people are going rabid waiting for news of more. It’s such an awesome, complete game out the door that the DLC feels earned rather than half a game being held hostage. Other devs, take note!

A lot of franchises put their best foot forward for sequels. God of War III was an awesomely bloody finale to the original journey of Kratos, with more epic bosses than ever; now he’s off fighting Norse gods, and I hear that game is even better! Portal 2 is just an absolute blast, and easily surpasses the first game on the merit of having Cave Johnson alone; the fact we get Wheatley and the malfunctioning personality cores honestly feels like overkill. Then we have BioShock… 2. While it’s certainly not as good as the first game, I think it was a lot of fun, and it got way too much flak.

 I think it definitely aged better than Infinite which, while still a good game in its own right (it’s hard to hate a game with a character as endearing as Elizabeth), definitely was not warranting the levels of acclaim it got with such a muddled narrative. “Overrated” and “overhyped” are not words I keep in my vocabulary and I certainly would not describe Infinite as such, but I do feel like people got swept up in the gorgeous visuals and the story bits and characters that are effective and so weren’t nearly as critical of its flaws. It’s still a good, fun game with an interesting world, but it pales in comparison to the other two BioShocks. I feel like The Last of Us is in a similar boat. That being said, I couldn’t tell you why; it has a great story, good characters, plenty of replayability, and fascinating enemy design. But despite all that, I appreciate this game more than love it. It’s the Citizen Kane of video game sin that regard at least.

I’d be remiss to not mention the big indie successes of the decade. Shovel Knight is easily one is the greatest platform era ever made, taking everything great about the platformers on the NES and SNES, removing the bullshit, and delivering numerous bonus campaigns with unique playstyles. Then there was Abobo’s Big Adventure, a marvelous mashup of all sorts of games starring the beloved Double Dragon mook as he goes on a bloody quest to save his son. It’s a blast and there is tons of variety but some sections are definitely as hair-pullingly difficult as the games that inspired them. And then there is Doki Doki Literature Club, the free visual novel that brutally subverts your expectations. Sadly, I do feel the game loses some impact on subsequent playthroughs, but it’s still a great, effective story that skillfully utilizes meta elements.

Still, the greatest indie success of them all is Toby Fox’s masterpiece, Undertale. Charming, funny, emotional, and populated by a cast of some of the most fun and lovable characters ever conceived, this game was an instant smash and is still talked about to this day. Sure, things like Sans have been memed to death, but it’s hard to not just love and cherish the beautiful world Toby Fox managed to create. This game may not be the greatest game of all time, but for what it is I wouldn’t hesitate to name it the game of the decade.

There was a lot of great art in the 2010s, and while I couldn’t get around to all of it, I’m so happy with what I got to experience. Here’s hoping that the 2020s can be just as amazing!

[volantedesign]

Letter from Japan

It's quiet. It is really really quiet. There's a gentle white noise from the mini split and that's all. We're in Kyoto sleeping on the floor, inhaling the sweet reedy smell of the tatami mats. We're staying in a major metropolis. It's 4 in the morning because I'm still jet-lagged. The doorways are all too short for me. When I stand up on the train I invariably bang my head on the hanging handles, not hard, just enough to surprise myself and to feel foolish. I am enormous here. I forgot to pack walking shoes and bought a men's size, as the women's sizes stop well before my (size 9) giant feet. We've been doing a lot of walking. There are so many beautiful little streets, with worn fabric banners showing hand printed or drawn letters that look like nothing more than beautiful shapes to me. I am utterly illiterate here. The people I've met have been unbelievably gracious and put up with our knowing nothing in a way that makes it seem like they are at fault for not knowing what strange thing we're asking for in their country, in their home. We've been traveling very low-budget and staying in single rooms in homes and ryokan (tiny hotels run by families mostly). For some reason the images in my mind of Tokyo are not the sweeping torii gates of the shrines that we went to see. I have photographs and will always treasure the memory of seeing them. But what I was most amazed by were smaller things that we did not know to stop and document. There was a set of three ceramic pots, sitting on the street next to some potted plants. They seemed vacant at first, but they were full of water, and tiny fish hiding in the water plants. The tiny shapes of the fish were right there in the street under the sky. The bright flash of this revelation was both so fitting for the setting and so unexpected. I imagine that they belong to some grandmother who sits out in the evening and watches the fish go around. Who cares if this is true or not. I remember also vividly the meh meeeeh-ing sound of the cicadas, such a complaining sound, so loud in a country where even the construction is done with as little impact as possible. There were some houses styled to be European that stuck out. They looked like something from an anime. They didn't look like any European house I've seen. More like a very tidy cake in the shape of a house. The first night we landed and went deliriously in search of some food after flying for about 17 hours, we stumbled into a family run udon shop. David begged me to make a decision about food, because everything seemed bright and loud and utterly indecipherable at that time of night in our strange state. We ordered the first and second thing on the menu, ordered a beer. Blessedly the word for beer is understood everywhere. We got some amazing home-made noodles in broth, some cat-foody tasting fish, a bowl of clams in rich brown sauce? We think they were clams but honestly I'm not sure, and rice with tuna mash and a raw egg yolk on top. It was unbelievable. I think that's when I knew we were in Japan. We ate our udon hot even though they asked us 3 or 4 times if we were sure about that. It was about 90 degrees. It never occurred to us to have it cold. The cook went to sit in the back room and drink with his friends after it seemed there would be no more customers coming in. He poured us a tiny challis' of sake and left us to his wife's watchful eye. She tidied, we ate, and then payed and fled. I love how clean it is here. I love it. I have always liked order and taking off my shoes inside. I am German after all. Everyone seems to carry their own hand towel for a day's outing. There are no paper towels in most of the bathrooms. This same hand towel can cover your hair should it rain. Why you'd want to cover your hair when it rains I'm not sure, but it was clearly an important function of the towel. We enjoyed a late afternoon of watching people run through the rain with various items over their heads while we sat in the window of a restaurant/pub. The fashions and people were equally fun to watch. People wear floor length flowery mom-ish dresses and make them look cute. Can you believe it? The rooms we've been in are spare, clean, everything in the bathroom is white, as though to prove to you that there's no speck of dirt hiding that you might miss on a colorful tile. I love that people don't smoke and throw their butts on the ground, but either wait near an ash-can or carry the butt away in a small pouch designed for this purpose. I don't even mind that there's smoking in some restaurants. I grew up with this in Germany and it seems sort of cozy to me. I know that it's terrible for all involved of course- but what can I say. I've seen folks with gloves for ridding the train so they don't have to touch what other people touched. There are even men in the train stations who clean the ever rotating germ-buffet that is the escalator handrail. There seems to be a whole fleet of people in the parks who's job it is to clear away leaves. I love that they care enough to employ people to make sure that it's nice. We could learn from this America. We came to Japan to see Tokyo Games show and see if it would ever be a viable market for us. It's much cheaper to send me and David (who go for free) than the company and all the stuff required for a con set-up. So, we've reviewed Tokyo games show, and basically it'll be a very long time before we come to exhibit at this show if ever. No judgement of the show, but it doesn't really look like folks are interested in shopping. And what there is to buy is very easy to buy, t-shirts, towels, stuffed critters. It's blastedly full and hot and sort of dark also. But there I am being back at work, analyzing, explaining. I'm done working for the trip. We've got one week to do whatever we want in Japan. The funny thing is we have gone so far away to be able to have a real stopping point. To be able to stop working or even thinking about work it helps to have little to no internet and not to be callable. I think we must learn to be unavailable more often. The most wonderful thing about running a business is that you get to set the terms. You get to chose. This is also the very hardest because you have to chose carefully and then follow up on your choices. It never really ends of course. This has never been more true than now. As we grow, (not as smoothly as it sounds) we also have new growing pains, new overhead costs, new challenges, new systems we have to learn and master. There's nobody to help you "figure it out." It's hard to shut-off, to stop working. It's hard to feel like your ship will stay afloat without you watching it's every move. But it will, it does, it has for the last week.

- Willow Volante

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 12

P 12

Miles woke up feeling better rested and more at ease with the world than he had felt in a long, long time. The warm rays of the early morning sun were softly warming his cheek, the pillow had taken on the perfect shape around his head and Alex's short strands of hair were gently tickling his neck. All of that made him almost forget that he had an awful, throbbing headache. Damned Alex and his damned Vodka!

His eyes flew open. He held his breath as his view drifted towards his side, where Alex Turner, platonic friend and absolutely not sleeping-mate, was snoring softly, curled up against his side. Miles became aware that he had one arm tightly wrapped around him, keeping him impossibly close.

Oh no. Not again.

Had they not, just yesterday, promised to each other never to do this very thing ever again?

Miles took another glance at Alex. He was wearing clothes. It was the same shirt he had worn yesterday. And he himself was wearing clothes as well. And shoes, as he now sensed. His alertness began to return him. The sleepiness began to drift away.

Images of last night began to fill his head. Alex had made them omelets. Then they had played guitars for a bit. At some point a bottle of Vodka had appeared. Naturally, they had begun drinking it. Alex had spent half an hour meticulously going through the notes in his biology book, trying and failing to figure out why Miles wanted it. They had laughed and chatted and enjoyed each other's company. At some point in the middle of the night he'd crawled into Alex's bed. He had a vague memory of Alex crawling in with him.

And now here they were.

On the wrong side of the 'we are just friends'-fence.

He felt movements next to him. In a wild blur of movements, Alex jumped out of bed and stood next to it, staring at Miles in shock and confusion. “Oh God! Did we...?”

“NO!”

“Good!” Alex squinted, shook his head. “It's good, right! I mean, you know what I mean. Right? Right?!”

“Alex? We're good. It's good.”

“Good.”

“We need to be more careful, don't we?” Miles couldn't believe how reckless they had been. “The whole boundaries-thing, it's new. We should pay more attention to it.”

“Definitely,” agreed Alex and nodded. He rubbed his eyes, sat back down on the bed. Leaned back against the headboard. Looked down at Miles. And promptly jumped up again. Miles got up just as quickly. Reckless, indeed.

“Coffee,” suggested Miles. “We need coffee. Lots of it.”

Alex followed him out of the room wordlessly. Downstairs, the dining room table was set with two plates, a pot of no-longer steaming coffee rested in the middle, surrounded by toast, butter and scrambled eggs. David Turner was sitting in the corner of the room, by the window, reading the newspaper.

“Mornin', boys. Nice of you to show up. Almost noon already.”

Had they slept that long? Miles blinked a few times, still a bit sleepy and a whole lot shaken from waking up next to Alex. His just-a-friend Alex. His very soft, warm, tempting, deliciously well-smelling, surprisingly cuddly friend Alex. The very one who was giving him a strange look just now. “Huh?”

“Did you just moan?”

Did he? Get a grip, Miles admonished himself. “No, I yawned!”

“Okay.” Alex appeared unconvinced but nonetheless busied himself with breakfast. “Will you stay today? Should we make plans?”

“No,” said Miles and was grateful for a topic which he felt much more equipped to handle at this early – or late – hour of the morning. “I hadn't intended on staying the night,” he admitted. But he'd been unable to leave. Being around Alex after all that time apart had felt too good to give up too soon. “I'm leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow. I have yet to pack and get some stuff.” And he needed, ridiculous as it sounded, a bit of space. So much of Alex after such a long period of longing for him was overloading his senses.

“So you leave already?”

He heard the disappointment and tried to explain it to him. “Well, yeah. You know, I was offered to open for you in Mexico and figured I'd spend the days before that visiting some old friends. There's a tv appearance I have to do as well. And the band and I haven't played a whole set in a bit so we definitely need to rehearse.” He also hadn't intended to be friends with Alex again at this point. The idea of spending the weekend in Mexico with him and the Monkeys had been a bit intimidating to say the least so he had planned on staying as busy as possible in the days leading up to it. Now he wished he'd some more free time on his hands. “When will you and the band head to Mexico?”

“Next week or so,” said Alex. “We haven't fully decided yet.” He nibbled on a dry toast. “Will you be in Mexico for your birthday?”

“No, LA.” Miles wasn't too happy about the prospect of spending that day without Alex. “We'll have to celebrate when we meet again, then.”

“No way,” stated Alex and placed the toast away, rubbing his hands to get rid of the crumbs. “I'll come to LA. I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.”

“You have rehearsals and all that!” Miles wanted to spend his day with Alex, but he also didn't want to be responsible for him falling behind on his band-duties. “Your tour continues soon!”

Alex waved him off. “We've been playing the same songs over and over again for a year. Trust me, I can do with one day less of rehearsals! I'll be there, Miles. Gift and all.” Alex smiled. “Which reminds me, I still have your Christmas gift. Shit, where did I take it?”

Miles chuckled. “What do mean, where did you take it? And you know I don't need any gifts from you. Having you there is more than enough, Al!”

“That's sweet, but nonsense.” Alex snapped his fingers. “London! I took it to London! No wait...I didn't unpack in London. I think it's in Paris by now.”

After checking the time while Alex pondered his last stays, Miles got up. “Shit, I have to get ready. Mind if I take a shower, maybe borrow a shirt?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Since when do you have to ask. Just go do it. My home is your home!”

“My home,” muttered Alex's father from the corner of the room.

“Whatever,” said Alex.

“Thanks,” grinned Miles.

Mid March

“Look at you,” grinned Jamie as Miles blew out the candles of his birthday cake, “getting older and older.”

“Getting crinklier each year,” added Nick.

“Is that a grey hair?” wondered Matt.

Alex, who sat next to Miles, and across from the other Monkeys, chuckled. Some other people were there as well. It was midnight, the night before Miles' birthday. They had all come out to LA to celebrate and party into the day for they had to leave the next one.

“Fellas, I love you all,” pronounced Miles full of joy, grabbed his glass and lifted it for a toast. “To new beginnings and a fucking amazing time!” He slung one arm loosely around Alex. All in the name of a platonic friendship, he told himself, and not because his friend looked downright fuckable in that tightly fitted shirt. Alex's smile got bigger and Miles took that as reassurance that he hadn't yet crossed any barb-wired, high-voltage-barred lines. So deep into the night and so far from being sober, he had to be extremely careful with where he placed his steps. One inch too far and then what?

“To the new and improved us,” said Alex quietly into Miles' ear while everyone else busied themselves with the cake. “Happy Birthday, Miles. Will you come outside with me for a moment?”

“Of course!” His arm slipped from Alex's shoulder but Alex caught his hand, held on to it and while he didn't entwine their fingers as they would have done in the old days, he still grabbed them tightly. It did funny things to Miles' stomach. 'Watch out,” chimed his conscience – a hollow and ignored warning. When they reached the patio of the restaurant, Miles gave Alex all of his attention.“What's on your mind, Al?” He had wanted to call him 'love', as he used to, but had stopped himself just in time.

Alex reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small envelope. “I wanted to give you your birthday present. But I'm not sure you'll like it so I didn't want any witnesses!” He held out the envelope. “For you. I put a lot of thought into it!”

Miles smiled radiantly. “Is it a gift certificate for Bed, Bath and Beyond?”

“Better,” assured Alex.

“Oh, Ikea?”

“Just open it, will you?”

Miles did. And the smile fell from his face. “Alex. What have you done?” He sat down on the nearest bench and took a closer look at what he was holding. It was a post card with the image of a beach with penguins on it, and the backside read, 'One trip to Boulder Beach, South Africa, to spend a week with the penguins.' He looked up, finding Alex nervously trying and failing to light a cigarette.

“It's just a gift, Mi.”

Alex hadn't called him that in half a year. What an odd little jump his heart did at that. But it wasn't enough to distract him from Alex's generous gift. “It's too much!”

“Miles, trust me. I can afford it. You can afford it! I always wondered why you haven't gone there already. You always wanted to see them.” He finally got the cigarette lit up and inhaled deeply. “It doesn't have a fixed date. I'll give you the official paperwork later. You can go whenever you want. And it's for two people, so you can take a friend or...you know...somebody.” The last word he said almost inaudibly.

“There's no somebody,” Miles pointed out right away. It mattered a great deal to him that Alex knew that.

“Doesn't matter, does it? Someday there will be a somebody.” Alex just wouldn't meet Miles' eyes, no matter how hard he tried to catch his sight. “Wait until then. Or not. Go now. Take your mom. I was just trying to get you something nice. Like I said, it's always been your dream.”

Miles' dream was going to the most exotic place in the world, where it was either warm and sunny, or cold and snowy, or wet and stormy, and see something so remote and rare and beautiful that he would remember it for the rest of his life. But that wasn't the part that mattered most to him. He wanted to go there with Alex. He wanted to share the memory with him. At some point he'd mentioned wanting to see penguins and it had become a thing. But he didn't so much care for the penguins as he cared for person who'd be standing next to him once he got to them. It had become a dream he'd almost given up on last year. There were times when he doubted he'd share any kind of memory with Alex ever again.

Yet here he was. With Alex. And all he had to do was tell him to pack his bag and join him. Dream come true. Only, Alex would never know that he was part of Miles' dream. Which, in return, made the whole dream lose all meaning.

“I do suck at gifts, don't I?” Alex sat down next to him as a shadow of sadness cast over his face. He flipped the dead cigarette away.

Miles wrapped his arm around Alex's shoulder, pulled him against his side and kissed his head. He knew he was pushing the boundary hard at the moment, but he felt bereft of any other option. He needed his next words to land so he spoke them as sternly as he could. “I love you. This gift is incredibly thoughtful and you'll never know how grateful I am for it. You tried to make my dream come true. That means the world to me! But,” he spoke softly, handing back the post card, “I can't take it.”

“Why not?” Asked Alex, not making any moves to detach himself from Miles.

“It's too much, Alex. It's too big. It's not the kind of gift you and I should be making each other.”

Alex wiggled his arm free, curled it around Miles' neck and returned the kiss, pressing his lips to Miles' forehead. “I truly don't understand why you're doing it. Being honest here!” His expression got softer. “But I know you wouldn't do it unless you got your reasons.” He finally met Miles' eyes. Then he placed the card back into his pocket. “Can I at least invite you to a movie once we're back in London? If you're afraid it'll be too big of a gift, you can pay for your own popcorn!”

A bashful grin lit up his face and he found Alex's pouty reply adorable. “Don't worry, babe. You can buy me all the popcorn in the world. And chocolate. And gummy bears. I'll endeavor to be the most expensive date of your life!”

Alex laughed, all remnants of sadness gone from his face. Then he paused and met Miles' happy expression with a one of equal parts perplexity and mockery. Alex's one brow curved upward in that certain way that Miles found unbelievably sexy.

That was until his own words sank in, at which point he rolled his eyes. “Bloody hell! Not date, damnit! Evening. And now I actually am tempted to pay for my own popcorn!”

“Don't you dare,” warned Alex and smirked. They still held on to each other. “Oh, hey, I've been meaning to ask you something. Did you take my black shirt? The one with the white stripes? I had it Sheffield, but now I can't find it anymore. And I know you took something out of my bag. But you vanished so bloody fast that day, I hardly saw you after breakfast!”

“I had to catch the train,” said Miles defensively. “You told me to take whatever!”

“That's my favorite shirt!”

“And it looks really good on me!” He flashed him a saucy grin. “Want it back?”

“Oh, you bet I do! Expect me to come get it later!”

“Here you are!” Matt called from the terrace door. “There's a birthday party happening on the inside but the guest of honor has gone missing!”

“On our way,” assured Miles, grabbed Alex's hand and pulled him along, back inside. “By the way, I also took your black alligator leather belt!”

“Fuck, Miles! I searched for hours for that thing!” Alex's hand went to Miles' suit jacket, pushed it upward. “Are you wearing it now? You are! I don't believe you!” He curled his fingers around the buckle. “Give it to me right now!”

They came to a halt in a corner. Miles stopped, Alex bumped against Miles' front and suddenly their lips were only an inch apart. Alex still held on to Miles' belt. For a long moment the world stopped moving. It was just them, in a room full of people, who, in that very instant, all ceased to exist.

Miles could smell the liquor on Alex's breath, felt the pulsating drum of his own heart that came with being so close to him. Alex's fingers, glued to the belt buckle, were entirely too close to one undeniably curious part of his anatomy and when his friend's eyes dropped down, coming to linger on his lips, Miles could feel the remnants of his self-control fighting with the legions of lust which had all come prepared for battle. “Boundary,” he whispered, damning himself for remembering just how insanely kissable Alex's lips were. “We must keep a distance.”

Alex nodded shakily. He carefully let go of the belt. Took a step backwards. “Drink?”

“Yes!”

Three hours later, and so fucking drunk they could no longer walk straight lines, Miles and Alex stumbled down the hallway of Miles' apartment, not singing but shouting the lyrics to one of their old tunes.

“And she tried so hard,” went Alex.

“To steal away from the Meeting Place,” followed Miles.

“Steer away.” Alex halted. “Door!”

“Why should I steer away from my door?” His mind was too foggy for Alex's vague remark. “Be more specific. I'm very drunk!”

Alex laughed. A drunken, gigglish laugh. “Lyrics, Mi. Steer away. Not steal away. However,” he said, holding up a finger to emphasize his words, “steal away would work. Or not?” He blinked once. Twice. “What were you saying?”

Miles frowned. “I don't know. What was I saying?” The hallway began to spin. “We should get inside. I think the floor is about to give out. I swear I just saw it move!”

“The floor?” Alex shook his head. Then his hand shot out, holding onto Miles' shoulder. “Oh, I saw it too! It's a trick floor! Must be.”

“I've heard of those,” said Miles. “Why won't you open the door?” He gave Alex a disapproving look. Time was running out on them. Although he couldn't say why. His thoughts were very confusing at the moment.

“It's your place.”

“I live here?”

Alex nodded.

“Oh. Oh, I have to unlock then!” And he did. Or tried. Tried again. And, at long last, succeeded. “Voila! Ooh, that's a french word. I just spoke French!”

Loud, vibrating laughter bursted from Alex. “Well done, Miles. Well done!” And he stumbled inside.

Miles followed him into the apartment, got rid of his jacket and kicked off his shoes. “Good night!”

“Wait, Mi. My belt!”

“Right!” He lifted his shirt, undid the buckle and pulled it out of the loops with one swift move before holding it out for Alex. His friend looked at him with heavy, lidded eyes, an expression of dark, vicious hunger on his face. “Why are looking me like I'm a chocolate cake?”

Alex licked in lips and gulped. Which, in return, made Miles zoom in on Alex's mouth. His perfectly shaped, undoubtedly warm and luscious mouth. “You look at me like I'm a bloody burger,” retorted Alex and took a step towards him. “I want my shirt, too!”

“What shirt? This shirt?”

“No, my shirt. My favorite shirt.” Another step. Alex pressed his still outstretched but until now forgotten finger into Miles' chest. “Black shirt. White stripes. You took it, you thief.”

“Only cause it smells of you,” confessed Miles. “Oh, I said that out loud, didn't I?” His eyes dropped to where Alex was touching his chest. “You mustn't tell yourself this, it's a sinful secret, and you and I friends, so we don't share sinful secrets,” he whispered, “but I so very much like the way you smell!” His head dipped down a little bit, his forehead now touching Alex's. “I really, really, really like the way you smell.”

Alex's flattened his palm against Miles' front, began rubbing up and down in small, languid strokes. He pressed his nose against that of his friend. “I miss how you used to smell,” admitted Alex, his voice low and husky. “But you changed your cologne.”

“Cause you told me to,” Miles reminded him.

“I know. I'm stupid like that.”

Now both of Alex's hands travelled across the planes of Miles' upper body, wrecking havoc on Miles's control. In the very far, dimly lit part of his head where his self-control was drifting off to sleep and his better judgement was struggling to remain awake, his wild desires crept from the shadows. Having Alex touch him like this was like a jolt of pure, uncontrollable energy. Every carefully sedated fiber of desire was shocked back to life.

Alex curled a hand around Miles' neck, dug his nose into his skin, tempting Miles to let go of the reigns and allow his arousal to run free. When Alex began to nuzzle along Miles' jawbone, then lower, near his earlobe, Miles closed his eyes, holding on the last shards of control. “Boundaries,” he reminded him in a voice so hoarse and strained he barely recognized it as his own.

“I'm not breaking boundaries,” claimed Alex in a bold-faced lie, with a tone that betrayed all pretense. “I'm just trying to figure out if I like your new cologne.”

“Figure it out faster,” begged Miles.

He felt Alex smile against the overly sensitive skin just behind his earlobe. “Why?”

“Cause I'm about to lose it.”

Alex detached from Miles, met his eyes, but couldn't focus on them. His gaze kept dropped to Miles' lips. Alex touched his cheek, angling his head with one hand as he took hold of Miles' tie with his other one, grabbing it near the knot, fisting it. “Lose it, then.”

A heartbeat passed. And then they were kissing. Wild, reckless and uncontrollable. There was nothing slow and soft or even tender about it. Just open mouths, wet tongues and filthy, dirty lust at its finest. Miles found himself pushed up against the back of his sofa, digging into the soft hair of Alex's outgrown buzzcut, craving his friend's kiss so utterly, so absolutely, that he couldn't even stop to undress him.

And that's when it hit him.

Here they were. Again. Six months later. Doing the same fucking thing. A wave of nausea and disgust overcame him and he pushed Alex off him. “Stop! Stop, damnit!”

Alex stumbled backwards, dazed and breathless.

“Fucking hell,” shot Miles, burying his face in his hands. When Alex made a move towards him, Miles quickly moved away, around the sofa. A physical barrier was exactly what he needed. “What are we doing?”

Alex, still looking lost, shrugged. “What we both wanted?”

“What we— Are you fucking kidding me? We're barely back to being friends, Alex! No kissing, we said.”

“I know!”

“Then why are we fucking kissing?!”

“'Cause you were there and I was there and...” Alex rubbed his face. “Damnit, Miles! Do you have any idea how hard it is not to kiss you? It's all I can think about. All day. All night. All the fucking time! When you're in reach, when I all I have to do is grab you, it becomes impossible not to do it. I know we said we would keep a distance. But had I no idea it would be so bloody hard! I want to follow our rules but…Miles, it has never been this way before! I've never longed so completely, so overwhelmingly for anyone in my life. I'm fucking starving for you! And I know you don't understand what I'm talking about but��”

“Every single cell in my body craves you, Alex.” Miles wanted to laugh. Not understand him? Oh, how fucking ridiculous that idea was! “There are moments when I want you so badly I could tear out my hair! I wake up in the middle of the night and find myself screaming into my pillow cause I've dreamt about you and I'm fucking hard and you're just not there to have! So don't you dare tell me I don't understand what you're talking about!”

Alex made his way around the sofa. “If I want you and you want me, why can't we—”

“'Cause it will ruin our friendship and you know it!” As if he hadn't thought about it! As if the thought of just giving in to his needs didn't cross his mind every minute, every hour, every day! But it would never be enough. It wasn't the physical act of being with Alex that satisfied him so greatly – even though it was very well-satisfying! – it was the act of being with Alex. It was the act of being entwined with the one the person that knew him inside and out. It was the act of sharing immense pleasure with the one person he knew inside and out.

What Alex suggested would no doubt please his body. But it would drain his soul and lay waste to his heart. It would kill him slowly. And it would lead to the bitter end of a beautiful friendship. Miles sat down on the sofa, staring at Alex, hoping he understood any of it. “You and I aren't made to for something like that. And I will never risk losing you for just a bit of sex!”

Alex dropped down next to him. “I don't remember how we used to do this, Miles. We've been best friends for almost half of our lives. Until now, we've never had a need for boundaries and lines. What changed?”

“Nothing changed.” The haze from the liquor began to settle and the lingering adrenaline from almost detonating his renewed friendship with Alex had helped him regain some control of his mind. But his body was tired. His limbs felt heavy. His muscles were sore, almost as if he'd run a marathon. “Think about it, Alex. You say we never needed any lines? We built a bloody minefield! But we didn't place it around our hands and lips. We locked our hearts in. We always pretended that all we did was play around. We pushed each other. We were reckless. There's a reason you never stayed the night when we shared a bed, even if it was just for sleep. There's a reason we don't ever explain our lyrics or question each other about them.”

Averting his eyes, getting up, then pacing the room, Alex struggled and Miles could tell. But wasn't it time they talked about this? Alex stopped to stare at the ceiling, then squeezed his eyes shut. “There isn't a line or a word in any of all that I've ever written that—there's nothing that ever needed to be locked off!”

“Golden Trunks. Is it about me?”

Alex shot him a look of crimson anger. “I know that she told you that it is. There's no reason to rehash this!”

“That's what I'm fucking talking about, Alex! This is you, drawing big, fat line.”

“What do you want me to fucking say, Miles? Huh?! Do you need me to spill it out for you? Yes, okay? Yes, I, Alex Turner, fantasize about you. How's that a new information?” he asked full of biting sarcasm.

“You broke up with the woman whose name you had inked on your arm over a line in a song that barely anyone even knows!”

“So did you,” Alex snapped irately. Then he walked up to Miles, to tower in front of him. “You want honesty? Tell me what you and Taylor were fighting over two years ago!”

Miles looked away. “You really don't want to know.”

“Oh, I do!”

2017

“I owe you an apology.” Miles took a seat next to Taylor by the pool of Alex' LA home. Alex was in the midst of a discussion with some other people which had come to one of his impromptu-barbecues. The other Monkeys were in town as well, all busy with recording their new album. Taylor crossed her arms as she met Miles' eyes. He sighed. “I mean it, T. I did something that I shouldn't have done for a vast variety of reasons. But most importantly, I shouldn't have done it because he wasn't mine to kiss. I'm sorry.”

“To be perfectly honest, I couldn't care less about the kiss.” She looked away, distracted by some noises coming from the pool. She kept her attention there. “You broke Hannah's heart.”

“I know.” He looked elsewhere, too, now. “And she knows I never intended for it to happen. That's doesn't take away from what I did, though. It was a bad—”

“Her heart was doomed when you asked her to be your girlfriend,” said Taylor, startling Miles. “And so was mine, by the way, when I asked him out and he said yes.”

“Taylor,” tried Miles, but she held up her hand to stop him.

“No, I'm not done. You and Alex have fans, did you know? Fans who care less about your music and more about your personal relationship? At first I found it funny, even a bit cute. Then I observed the two of you on tour. On stage. I even saw him snuck out of your room once, in the middle of the night, in a bathrobe, when I came to surprise him. I never told him that.”

“He fell asleep on the bloody couch,” lied Miles, annoyed. He felt caught. A strange, irritating emotion.

“Fucking liar!” She shot loudly.

“Would you calm down,” Miles hissed. “There are other people here!”

“Why should I care? Are you suddenly worried people might get the wrong idea about you and Alex?” She tossed out a bitter laugh. “I don't believe that you played Hannah or that he's pretending to care for me. But deep down,” she told him as she stared into his eyes, “you know there's something more going on. Tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me that it's all just make-believe for the fans. Tell me!”

He couldn't tell her.

“Here's why the thought of me didn't keep you from kissing my boyfriend: you think he belongs to you. You consider him yours. Want to apologize? Apologize for that.”

They sat in silence for a while and Miles let her words sink in. He had to give it to her, she did struck a nerve. And it made him angry. It unraveled him that she read him so well, even though he worked so bloody hard to keep those feelings to himself. It pissed him off that she had the nerve to state so bluntly what he himself tried so hard to deny. And it annoyed him that she looked so fucking smug about it.

“No apology?” Taylor smirked. “Must bother you that he hasn't broken up with me yet.”

Miles bit his tongue, tried to be better than her, tried to fight his urge to sink low. He knew that she was hurt. He knew it was his fault.

“Guess my kiss tastes better than yours.”

And he lost the fight. “Every night he didn't spend in your arms,” whispered Miles, leaning into her to make sure she was the only one who heard, “he spent in mine.” Then he got up, grabbed his jacket and left.

Present Day

Alex watched him impatiently. “Seriously, Miles. I want to know!”

“There goes our friendship,” murmured Miles and got up, to walk over to the window. He lit himself a cigarette. “Short version? I apologized, she said some stuff I didn't want to hear and I said something to shut her up and make her feel bad.”

“You insulted her?” Alex sounded so surprised. “She would have told me that. And you don't insult people! You've never done that!”

“It wasn't an insult, okay? It was a lie. Or not.” He rolled his eyes, met Alex's. “Why is that so important now?”

“'Cause ever since that argument she believed that you and I were in love.”

Miles wanted to laugh so badly. It was all so insanely ridiculous. He was in love with Alex. And he let Taylor believe that had spent countless nights 'with' Alex. As his lover. Which, in a sense, wasn't even a lie! He loved him and he had spent the nights with him. Only, he hadn't known then that he was in love with Alex. Or had he? Had he known all along? Had he been in love from the very beginning? And had Taylor been right after all? Had he really considered Alex to be his, for all that time? “Would you believe me when I tell you I have a headache?”

Alex frowned. “Why wouldn't I believe that, Miles? What's going on?”

“I'm finding it difficult to believe my own words, lately.” He turned his head to find Alex standing next to him, a concerned look on his face. “I find myself saying one thing and then end up doing the other. I tell you I want to be your friend and then I kiss you. I ask you for honesty and I find myself unable to respond with the same. I tell we can't kiss again and then…I do this.” He cupped Alex's face, cigarette still tugged between his fingers, and kissed him.

But it wasn't fast, or hard, or anything their kisses usually were. It was slow, and gentle, and his heart broke splinter by splinter with each languid stroke of his tongue. He felt Alex's hands and arms as they made their way around his torso, bringing them closer. What a dangerous kiss this was, not lacking of lust yet fed with feelings. It was a kiss of love, and his friend allowed it to happen, allowed him to have it. Miles felt horrible. After a last lingering moment, he let go and stepped back. “I'm not ready to be around you again.”

Alex leaned against the window, hazy and dark-eyed. Completely out of it. “What?”

“Don't you see, Al? I can't control it yet. It's exactly as you said, impossible not to kiss.”

“Let's work on that together, then!”

“How's that going to work? We sit in a room and applaud ourselves for every minute we spent not making out?” He sad, self-deprecating chuckle slipped from his lips.

“I just got you back in my life. I won't let you walk out of it, just because it's complicated and hard and requires effort!”

“You want a reason to let me go? Let me give you one. I told Taylor we fucked on the regular.”

A few seconds ticked down. And then? Then Alex combusted in laughter. Loud, rumbling, tears-streaming-from-the-eyes laughter. “That's what that was all about?” More laughter. “Oh that explains so much!” More laughter still.

Miles jaw all but dropped. “Why is it so funny? I don't get it.”

Alex shrugged. “I have no idea!” He wiped the tears from his eyes, still amused. “I just find it hilarious that the two of you made such a big fucking thing out of it, but she wouldn't even come to about it!”

“Well,” added Miles, “she also said I was in love with you.”

“You're not,” said Alex. The amusement died down. “Trust me, I know that.”

Miles didn't respond to that statement. How could Alex be so firm in his belief of it, wondered Miles, considering the kiss they had just shared. And what a testament to Alex's own lack of romantic notions towards him, thought Miles further. He had, after all, returned the kiss as tenderly as Miles had given it. To do that, without love? How different two people could be, he marveled.

“I meant what I said, Al.” Miles turned towards him.

“So did I,” said Alex. Sternly. “You and I are friends. And we'll remain friends. Damn all this attraction nonsense. Let's take smaller steps then. Let's not get drunk together. That seems to lead to no good. God, Miles! We won't even see that much of each other at any rate! I'm stuck on tour with the Monkeys and you have all your gigs across the bloody ocean! You want separation? There you have it! For crying out loud,” he groaned in frustration, “let's do a fucking long-distance phone friendship until I'm back home!”

“I can't perform with you in Mexico.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Come on, Miles! It's not even a Puppets song! It's fucking 505! We always do that together when we're in the same city! Huddle near Matt, Nick or Jamie if you need to!”

“It's not about that, Al.”

“It's been months, Miles. And it'll be our last chance to share a stage for a very long time!”

“Alex, I can't.” The last time they shared a stage together, it left him on the brink of a breakdown. The time before that, it had been odd already. And at that time, they hadn't even done the deed! He wasn't ready to find out how it would feel now. What if the spark was gone? What if there was nothing but awkwardness? Or worse, unease? “Someday, but not yet.”

“I can't force you, can I?” Alex was, without a doubt, disappointed. And he looked as exhausted and as done with it all as Miles felt. “Seriously, Miles. This has to be the worst birthday of yours we've ever celebrated!” He returned to the sofa and leaned back. “We gotta do better next year!”

“We will,” promised Miles and leaned back against the window, hands in his pockets. He spotted the clock on the wall and yawned. “Almost five am already. Time to sleep. It's been a long day.”

Alex shook his head disbelievingly and got up. “Smooth, Kane. Real smooth!” He picked up his jacket from the floor, put it on and tipped his head at Miles. “Keep the belt and the shirt. I'll collect it in London once we're back.” In the doorway, he haltered one last time. “Will I at least see you in Mexico?”

Miles nodded.

Alex nodded, too. And then he was gone.

[sheikah]

Dying to hear your opinion/recap from last nights ep!

I’m so sorry for taking four days to write a review haha but here you go! My thoughts on 8.01 :)

Ok so a fair warning going into this: I’ve endeavored to be more positive on my blog during this season because it’s the final one. It’s the last time we will ever get this rush of new episode premieres, the active fandom, all of it. I also still love the show in spite of its flaws and mistakes, and I don’t hate D&D. But this episode made a lot of character mistakes that I don’t feel I can overlook. I spent the past few days making positive show content hoping to mitigate my negative feelings about the episode, but they’re still here, so I’m going to post this analysis and be honest about it. If you don’t want to see any GoT negativity, turn back now! There’s good and bad in my review, but a lot of bad. There’s also a lot of tangents to past episodes and plot points, and a healthy dose of ranting. But it’s all relevant, I promise :P Also, please don’t interpret any of this as character hate. As I try to make clear in my analysis, I feel the problem is that people are being written OOC, so when I don’t like what they do, it’s because I feel it’s not true to who they are. I love all of the remaining characters, so this isn’t “anti” anyone. Except maybe David Nutter lol.

The episode opens on the procession into Winterfell, and I loved the callback to 1.01 where we saw Arya rushing to see Robert’s forces marching through the gates. This time, Arya is all grown up and watching another child excitedly reacting to the soldiers. 

I really enjoyed this opportunity to see the scene through Arya’s eyes, because it was so clear to me that she was happy for Jon, and that she was thrilled by the dragons. The moment where she sees Jon and beams with joy, but is too nervous to call out to him, was an early gut punch to my feels and really set up the suspense for their eventual meeting. I also liked that even while the other Northerners were running around panicking about the dragons, Arya was calm and looking up at them in wonder. It was an important moment to the tone, because it established that the Northerners’ fear is misplaced. Arya, who trusts Jon, knows he wouldn’t bring anything dangerous to Winterfell. 

I also liked how this scene showed little clues of the intimacy of Jon and Dany’s relationship. The last we saw them was boatsex, and there were a lot of unknowns about the time skip and where they would stand as a couple or partnership in the aftermath. But the scene (and the whole episode) really put their romantic relationship front and center. They ride side-by-side as equals, a total “royal couple” image. When the Northerners are wary of Dany, Jon is right there to comfort and reassure her, basically telling her he expected this reception, and trying to keep things light. I also love that when she seems down about the Northerners’ glares, the dragons do their flyover and it brings a smile to her face. The dragons have been a source of comfort to Dany in rough times since 1.01 with Drogo, way back when they were just little eggs :) I’ve seen some antis saying her smile at the flying dragons is a sign of madness because she’s smiling while people scream. But I disagree. The scene is showing that even when she’s sad, the reminder of the dragons–her children–strengthens her and lifts her spirits. 

We also get to see Missandei and Grey Worm during the march, and this scene in particular really struck me. @goodqueenarya made a great gifset of the moment and rightly captioned it as racism and xenophobia from the Northerners. I realize it’s uncommon to apply those terms to a medieval context but it is clearly what’s at play here. The close-ups on Missandei’s face, her uneasiness bordering on fear, Grey Worm’s concern, and the open hostility of the Northerners in the crowd, are all working together to show that this moment is upsetting to Missandei and Grey Worm and possibly reminiscent of their time as slaves. Remember, the entirety of Dany’s army is made up of people who aren’t only foreign, they look it, and this clearly seems to be a factor in the Northern hatred. It effectively set the tone for a whole episode of tension between Team Dany and the North. 

When the shot cut to Tyrion and Varys, I was excited, but the very first bit of dialogue is about Varys’s balls (or lack thereof). This was the beginning of an episode fraught with weird writing that didn’t deliver imo. I love the humor on this show but Tyrion’s joke wasn’t actually funny so I wouldn’t even qualify this as effective humor in this instance. There are so many things they could have been discussing at this moment that would have been interesting exposition: Jon/Dany, how Tyrion will react to seeing Sansa again, the Northern hostility, ANYTHING. But we got balls. 

The scene when everyone finally arrives inside Winterfell was kind of an emotional rollercoaster for me. I noticed the musical parallel–the same music was used during Robert’s arrival. It made Jon and Dany seem even more the royal couple, which I appreciated. I also liked how the arrival was much more informal than Robert’s. There was no kneeling involved, which emphasizes Dany as a different sort of ruler. Jon seeing Bran and immediately dismounting his horse and kissing his little brother on the forehead … it was beautiful, and we saw so much raw emotion and happiness from Jon. I didn’t love Bran’s response, though I do think it was fitting writing in-keeping with his robotic characterization since s7. Still, that characterization makes me sad. I wanted Jon to have a warm reception from his family, at the very least, and for there to be at least some catharsis in seeing Bran for the first time since 1.02. 

This brings me to one of the things I most hated in the episode, the reception from Sansa. I was happy to see Sansa and Jon hugging, showing that things haven’t completely deteriorated between them despite the long absence and her disapproval of his choices re: Dany and bending the knee. But when Dany comes over to greet Sansa, and greets her with what I considered to be genuine kindness, I absolutely hated Sansa’s response. Jon and Dany are in love. That much is certain, and even from this early in the episode, both Jon and Dany have been happier than we’ve ever seen either of them in the whole long history of the series. I bring this up because I fully believe that Dany was eager to make a good impression on the sister of the man she loves. I don’t think her greeting to Sansa was an empty courtesy. And for Dany to attempt genuine kindness and be rewarded with Sansa’s prolonged up-and-down glare and reticent “Winterfell is yours, Your Grace,” is just unnecessarily cold. 

I understand that Sansa cares deeply about Northern Independence. I also understand that she doesn’t know Dany or what she stands for, who she is as a person, or what she’s achieved. She doesn’t know how Dany saved her brother’s life, or how Dany will be invaluable in saving every life in the North and beyond. Regardless, Sansa is smart. She’s studied under political masterminds like Cersei and Littlefinger for the greater part of her adolescence and she’s learned hard lessons. I was surprised to see her display such obvious dislike to a visiting monarch right out of the gate. Additionally, I believe that Sansa does, to some extent, trust Jon’s judgment, so I expected her to use that trust to give Dany the benefit of the doubt. And as we can see from later moments in the episode, she doesn’t. This is what I was talking about when I mentioned above that I have problems with the writing. I don’t think this level of pettiness is actually in-character for Sansa. 

Going further into the episode, I feel the same way about Sansa’s other scenes as well. The scene in the Great Hall exasperated me for multiple reasons  but I’ll talk about the issue with Sansa first. Again, I want to emphasize that I believe Sansa to be intelligent and good with political maneuvering. She successfully covered up Lysa’s murder in the Vale. She successfully saw through Littlefinger’s treachery in s7. I would think this would lead her to approach her dislike for Dany with some delicacy and subtlety. Instead, the writing decides it would be more fun to have her unleash petty and biting remarks at Dany for fun. The bit about how she is going to feed the army was incredibly stupid writing for two reasons: 

Dany is coming from the South, an area with more agriculture. She would have easily been able to collect and then transport food to feed her own armies. Additionally, she was able to feed her armies while on a literal rocky, mountainous island at Dragonstone. If she managed it then, she obviously would have planned for the North. For the writing to insinuate that Dany didn’t plan to feed her people is ridiculous since Dany has been a queen feeding the Unsullied and Dothraki who follow her throughout their travels since season 3. By failing to acknowledge or mention this the writers essentially guaranteed a conflict that makes no sense. 

Similarly, Sansa has known that they would need Southern allies since 7.02. Her line about how she didn’t plan to feed Dany’s forces doesn’t line up with past events. She knew that more armies would eventually need to come North, AND she knew specifically that Dany and the Unsullied and Dothraki were coming North ever since Jon’s letter in s7. So it is similarly bad writing for Sansa, and also another example of unnecessary cattiness on her part. The delivery of those lines was clearly directed the way it was for a reason, and it makes Sansa come across as spiteful and not the professional noblewoman we saw in s7 lining breastplates and planning grain storage. And whether she planned for the Targaryen forces or not, she needs them. Treating them with scorn is stupid and helps no one. Additionally, I found it oddly telling that the sequence of dialogue goes something like this: Tyrion mentions the Lannister army is also coming North.This is when Sansa interjects. When she complains of feeding the greatest army ever, she complains of feeding the Unsullied and Dothraki only and doesn’t mention the Lannister army, even though the Lannister army is what Tyrion was talking about at that moment. Gotta love how it’s only a problem when it’s Dany’s forces and brown people. That’s the issue for her, not the Lannisters, the family who have been killing and oppressing the Starks for the better part of a decade. Where is the logic for this dialogue? I genuinely feel Sansa was written out of character in this sequence because I think of her as kinder and more tactful.

After this bit Lyanna Mormont steps up to berate and belittle Jon Snow, because why not? I found this scene to be ridiculous. These people in the North purport to want Jon as their king, and yet they treat him with no respect. I’m not saying that subjects shouldn’t be allowed to disagree with a ruler, or that there shouldn’t be open discussion in meetings like this one, but the way she talked down to him was just absurd. When have we ever seen any leader addressed this way? No monarch has ever been spoken to this way. Even at the Night’s Watch, Jon wouldn’t abide being spoken to this way. But because it’s Lyanna Mormont and it’s cute, it suddenly makes sense for her to stand up and shame Jon and say he is “nothing at all?” 

And this is one of the things that makes me so angry: no one ever really listens to Jon. This particular point isn’t one I consider a fault of the writing because it isn’t anything new so I believe it’s consistent and is done on purpose, but I hate how selfish everyone around Jon is. Jon Snow has lived selflessly for the entirety of the show. He meekly accepted secondhand status in the Stark household as a boy, and quickly acclimated to the fact that he wasn’t special at the Wall, either. While at the Wall he protected Sam, something that he did for no reason other than his inherent goodness and concern for others. After learning about the Freefolk he treated them with respect and forced the Night’s Watch to do the same at great personal cost. After his death he agreed to take back Winterfell FOR his family. He had no desire to enter into the Battle of the Bastards. He wanted to head South, but he stayed and he fought for the Starks to retake their birthright, something he believed he would never really be part of. When he was named King in the North he didn’t want it but he accepted it and did his best to rule with honor and bravery. When Dany asked him to bend the knee, it would have been easier to immediately agree, but he was thinking of his family and his people first. He endured political tensions with a possible ally and spent a great deal of time in the South because he was trying to do what he thought was best FOR OTHERS. He only swore to Dany when he became certain that she would be a good queen to his people. Regardless of how the fandom wants to spin things against Jon, he’s always put other people first. And after everything Jon has done, and everything he’s sacrificed, he is still constantly being criticized and attacked by his people. Dany’s people, by comparison, trust her judgment for the most part. There have been exceptions, but her core group–the Unsullied, Dothraki, and her ruling council–see her actions and they follow her willingly out of admiration for her deeds and her ideals. Jon’s people see his actions and his kindness and take advantage of it, constantly questioning his judgment and speaking against him both behind his back and to his face. I literally don’t understand why these people are mad that he bent the knee when they so obviously do not have trust or faith in him as their ruler.

Anyway, I appreciate Jon doing a little to defend his choice in bending the knee to Dany, but I didn’t like the way that was handled either. Because what Jon said isn’t completely true. He didn’t bend the knee only to save the North. Dany agreed to save the North BEFORE he bent the knee, so he did it because he believes she would be a good ruler for the North. He did it because he admires her leadership and because–as he has now expressed at least five times–he doesn’t want to be king. That’s what I wanted to hear from him, not, “Oh, I had to do this to save the North.” He is saving the North. He is. But he wasn’t forced to bend the knee, and the Northerners need to know that. It would help ease them into trusting Dany.

I also would have liked to hear from Dany herself in these moments. I realize that she didn’t want to overstep or make things worse, but other people spoke for her all throughout the episode, and it irritated me because I believe Dany’s natural leadership and pragmatism could appeal to Northern sensibilities given the chance. 

Additionally, I also think it was out-of-character for Dany to sit back and let Jon be harangued on her behalf this way. I have brought up this scene dozens of times now but it bears repeating here: in season 6 Dany granted independence to the Iron Islands and allowed Yara to be a sovereign monarch, a queen. She allowed this after knowing Yara for all of five minutes. And when Tyrion asked her, “Are we going to give everyone who demands it their independence?” Dany replied with something like, “She didn’t demand, she asked. Others are free to ask as well.” This, coupled with Dany’s last line of dialogue from s7, “I’m not going to conquer the North, I’m going to save the North,” led me to believe that Dany would, in fact, allow Jon to remain King in the North, or allow the North to remain an independent kingdom. 

Let me be clear to all my fellow Dany stans reading this: I don’t think there is anything wrong with Dany wanting to be queen of all 7k. If she decided never to allow Northern Independence or even Independence of the Iron Islands, I would be fine with it. There was one, absolute ruler of all 7k for centuries. Dany deserves to want the same thing, and I know she would be a good queen. BUT Dany has consistently said she wants to make the world better than it was, to “break the wheel.” Those ideas, coupled with the dialogue mentioned above from s6 and s7, make me think it’s more consistent with her character at this stage for her to decide that it doesn’t matter if Jon is King or Warden of the North, so long as there is a good person leading the North. And let’s face it, Jon is a good person, Dany knows this, and she’s in love with him. Additionally, she has seen the Army of the Dead firsthand. She’s one of the only people who has. I think it would make far more sense if Dany, being the person she is, and having seen the Night King, would put the Northern bickering to rest by assuring them that she isn’t taking their sovereignty and that she will allow them to be an independent kingdom under Jon if they so choose after the war. 

I realize that Jon doesn’t want to be king. But if he is so averse to it that he would say no to a crown even if Dany offered it to him, then he needs to say that. That needs to me made clear, so it doesn’t appear that Dany is taking away Jon’s and the North’s rights or independence against his will. By keeping her silent on these matters the writing left a lot unsaid that needed to be said. And when Dany did speak I didn’t always agree with what the writers chose for her, either. I’m talking specifically about her saying, “I’m her queen. If she can’t respect me …” about Sansa. Did they really need her to ominously trail off? I mean, really? Dany is not this scary, ominous person. She just isn’t.

Moving on, Jon’s reunion with Arya was absolutely beautiful and made my cry. The running hug, Jon’s face, all of it was what I wanted. I’m glad they got the moment alone they deserved. I also loved them comparing swords, and the dialogue about Jon not surviving the knife in the heart. When Jon asked her if she’d ever used Needle, Maisie’s acting was so perfect because it showed Arya’s reluctance to remember just what she’d used Needle for. The past hurts her just like it hurts Jon. They’ve both been through hell and grown and changed, but they still love one another deeply. Which brings me to my one issue with this scene. Why did Jon and Arya’s reunion have to turn into Jon insulting Sansa so that there is an opening to Arya defending her? Jon and Arya were always ride-or-die bffs, they were each other’s favorite. The way Arya said she and Sansa were defending their family as if Jon isn’t doing the same just rubbed me the wrong way and I don’t feel it was necessary to the scene, and neither was Jon’s negative comment about Sansa. I’ll be interested to see how Arya handles Dany’s presence moving forward, since Arya wasn’t around for the scenes addressing everyone’s explicit displeasure at Dany being in the North. 

Arya’s reunion with the Hound wasn’t what I wanted, but it could’ve been worse. Being who he is, I do think Sandor calling her a bitch was something of a grudging compliment. He hides behind a mask of cold callousness himself so to recognize something similar in Arya was meant to be the closest thing to kindness he could manage, I guess. But I loved their dynamic in the past, and the moment when Arya was in the House of Black and White and Jaqen hit her for lying about wanting the Hound dead. I knew she didn’t want him dead, not really. I knew they cared for each other. I would have liked to see a little more of that. I’ve liked the little interludes of people who were mentor figures in Arya’s life, like how Lady Crane resembled Catelyn. I think Sandor was something of a weird father figure for Arya so I was expecting a bit more warmth in their reunion.

Her reunion with Gendry, though, was PERFECT. It was absolutely everything I wanted and more. Everything about it. I wouldn’t change a thing. It was shippy without being cheesy, cute and flirty while still completely in-character for both people. I was smiling so hard the whole time and I literally can’t want to see more Gendrya. 11/10 would watch again haha. Joe Dempsie is sexy and Arya is getting Gendry in his prime and I am 100% here for it. Arya flirting is something I never knew I needed in my life but I’m so glad it’s here haha.

Speaking of shippy things, I can’t believe I’m saying this as a rabid Jonerys stan and mainly Jonerys blog, but I didn’t love the dragon scene. It felt incredibly sudden to me, and wildly out of place in the episode. Everything about the dragons in the episode confused me. Earlier in the episode when Bran told Dany about Viserion, the moment was all but ignored. I feel like it was literally added in post. Like they forgot to include it in the original script and didn’t film a reaction, so they just had Isaac say it later and added it in lol. It was that weird to me. That should be a huge bombshell, to EVERYONE. Yes, Dany in particular, but everyone should be distraught that there is now a DRAGON on the enemy’s side. But only Dany reacts, and she barely reacts at all beyond a brief moment of concern. 

She seems much more concerned when the Dothraki tell her the dragons aren’t eating much, which leads me to the dragon scene. The whole reason that Dany and Jon are approaching the dragons is apparently because they aren’t eating, but that subplot is completely dropped, she doesn’t address it beyond saying “they don’t like the North,” and then she mounts Drogon as if nothing is wrong. As a shipper, I loved the cute teasing that came next, and Dany trying to keep a dry sense of humor about it while messing with Jon as he considered riding Rhaegal. It was absolutely adorable and I can’t overstate how much I loved seeing them happy. I was basically yelling every time either of them smiled. But that doesn’t mean the scene made sense. I’m sorry, but it didn’t?

Jon and Tyrion are the only people in the show aside from Dany to ever even touch the full-grown dragons. Jon touching Drogon in s7 was a HUGE deal. Dany was amazed, Jon was literally crying with wonder, the music was serious and emotional. It was a beautiful and momentous scene and the directing made sure it felt that way. But when it comes to riding a dragon, everything is suddenly slapstick humor, and the scene has literally no setup at all? 

I am NOT opposed to Jon riding a dragon. I’ve always wanted him to ever since I found out about R+L=J in like 2011 lol. But I wanted there to be a reason he attempts it. Dany is the only person in over 100 years to ride a dragon, and for no reason other than her teasing, Jon is suddenly going to attempt it? Ideally I would have liked it to be AFTER the Targ reveal, but I do understand why it was before. In “Inside the Episode,” Benioff comments that only Targaryens can ride dragons, and that Jon is “slow on the uptake.” So they did it beforehand to make it more believable for Jon when Sam tells him he is a Targaryen. That’s fine. But couldn’t they have at least contextualized why he attempts it beforehand? Couldn’t Dany have said, “Hey, we now know the Night King is riding Viserion into battle. The stakes are somehow even higher. We’re going to need all the air support we can get, and I trust you to try and ride Rhaegal. I need you to try it so we have a better chance in a fight.” That would have taken literally 30 seconds and it would have made a lot more sense. Instead, we are given, “Hm. My dragons aren’t eating and are unhappy. I’m going to ride one though. You should do it to. Learn by doing. XD”

And the scene itself felt so cheesy. Again, I’m not opposed to humor, but to have Jon dangling off and everyone in the Winterfell battlements gawking at him was just … silly? I wanted it to be a badass moment, I guess. A memorable and intense and iconic GoT moment. And I was let down. I do appreciate that they show dragon-riding as an acquired skill, and that Dany’s an expert. But I didn’t appreciate the silliness. 

Anyway, when they landed at the waterfall I liked it better because it was the fluff I was waiting for. The dialogue was cute, and the makeout was super hot. I was grateful for that, even the goofy cutting to the dragons watching them. It was only the dragon riding that rubbed me the wrong way. But as a shipper I couldn’t be happier that they gave us fluffy, happy, totally in love, beaming-with-joy Jonerys. I’ve probably watched that bit 20 times already haha. 

But of course, that joy just has to be short-lived. This leads me to my least favorite part of the episode: the Tarly drama. Randyll Tarly is a piece of literal garbage. He sent Sam to the Wall on threat of death. He used to chain Sam up in a dungeon. In the show, we’re shown that in addition to this, he is racist toward wildlings (despite living nowhere near the Wall???) and he calls Gilly a whore, as well as constantly fat-shaming and verbally abusing Sam. He also betrays the Tyrells and sacks Highgarden with little to no urging from the Lannisters. In the episode preceding his death, he encourages Bronn and Jaime to flog tired and wounded soldiers who can’t march fast enough. There is almost nothing else that could be done writing-wise to establish how badly Randyll Tarly sucks. And Dickon Tarly, for all his supposed innocence, bore witness to all of the above. He was complicit in everything that happened to Sam and fine with it because he would receive Sam’s inheritance. So after s7 finished up, John Bradley, who plays Sam, gave an interview wherein he said that Sam doesn’t even consider himself a Tarly anymore. He also said Sam would never get between Jon and Dany about his father and brother’s deaths because he wouldn’t be that upset. This was, of course, before Bradley was given an s8 script. But I think it’s worth noting that these were his thoughts before being given a script and forced to stand by the show’s writing. It makes no sense for Sam to be as upset as he was at receiving the news of Randyll’s and Dickon’s deaths. He can be sad about his brother, sure. I understand that. But it’s what he did next that drives me crazy. 

Jon’s parentage is one of the biggest bombshells of information in the entire series, if not THE biggest. I’ve been waiting for eight years to see this scene. But Sam isn’t prompted to tell Jon out of the goodness of his heart or concern for his friend. He goes while emotionally compromised about his family’s deaths, and that motivates the conversation and taints his entire message. He doesn’t even tell Jon the circumstances of Randyll’s and Dickon’s death. Hell, the writing doesn’t even give Dany a chance to tell Sam the circumstances. Sam just tells Jon that Dany executed them, without giving a reason at all. It’s not because they refused to bend the knee. She doesn’t just burn people for refusing to kneel. They were TRAITORS!!! Why is that being ignored? In 7.01 Jon and Sansa argued over traitors and how seriously they must be punished. It was established that the penalty for treason is DEATH. Why is Dany being maligned for that? Why are people discussing the incident without using the word treason? WHAT IS THIS WRITING????

And since the writing doesn’t mention the important underlying circumstances of the Tarly deaths at all, Jon’s Targaryen heritage becomes more about opposing Dany than it is about Jon, his identity, or his feelings. Literally what prompts Sam to tell Jon, is that Jon says Dany is the queen, and Sam says she “shouldn’t be.” This is so beyond fucked. Sam is Jon’s best friend, and he isn’t selfish. Sam is one of my favorite characters. But it is so wildly out-of-character for him to use this moment for his own personal anger and bias against Dany. Yet he does, and when Jon finally believes it, when he tells Sam that he isn’t/doesn’t want to be king, Sam presses even further insisting that Jon is and must be king. 

I know that in the past Sam showed faith in Jon’s leadership by nominating him as Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, but this is different. Jon has said so many times how he hates ruling. Even Robb didn’t want to sit on the Iron Throne. No one who knows Jon would think he would ever want it. No one who cares about Jon would push him toward it. So this ties back to a point I made earlier in this post about Jon being surrounded by selfish people. It seems everyone except for Dany and Arya and Davos want to use Jon for their own ends. Sansa and the North want him to maintain Northern autonomy and Sam wants him to usurp Dany’s claim because he’s mad about his family. Everyone is selfishly ignoring Jon’s own desires for how he wants to live his own life, and more importantly ignoring Jon’s strategy for literally saving the world and fighting the Army of the Dead. It’s getting very old. 

What Bran said early in the episode should have been the title of the damned episode, because the episode skips so many important conversations and facts that I feel like the writers themselves were the ones who decided “we don’t have time for all of this!” Yet, at the same time, they’re wasting precious time with conflicts that shouldn’t even exist. I wanted to scream with relief when Davos finally suggested a marriage alliance with Jon and Dany. We all know that if the writing weren’t trying to milk every drop of drama out of Northern Independence and the parentage reveal that they possibly can (drama they’re milking at the expense of YEARS of characterization and development) that Jon and Dany would already be engaged. S6 ends with Dany breaking up with Daario to form a marriage alliance when she arrives in Westeros. She arrives in Westeros and falls in love with Jon Snow–a king, her equal, and an honorable man. Jon wants to help Daenerys and wants her help, and Jon falls in love with her, too. The only problem is her desire to be queen and its conflict with Northern Independence. If they married, all of this would instantly go away because they would both become royalty and the North would have its chosen representative literally ruling alongside the queen as a king himself. And again, I can’t repeat this enough, the fact that they’re literally in love should only make this solution even more obvious. 

But until that solution is reached I fully expect the Northern plot to continue being out of character for literally everyone involved, and I fully expect to continue being upset about it lol. And where the hell is Ghost?!

Anyway, I don’t have as much to say about the incidents outside Winterfell. The Theon/Yara scenes were actually my favorites of the episode. Gemma and Alfie are honestly amazing and their expressions in every scene were perfect. I cried when they hugged on the deck and Yara told him their house words and added “but kill the bastards anyway.” THAT was good writing. Perfect. A+. It was everything I wanted and more and I’m excited that Yara is still going to be in the game somehow (which I assume since she mentioned aiding in Dany’s forces’ retreat from the North if needed) and that Theon is going to Winterfell. 

The Cersei/Euron bits just made me sad and confused. I was sad for Cersei because she looked so miserable and reluctant to sleep with Euron. The idea of even more sexual coercion on this show is sickening to me. But then I was confused because afterward it felt almost like she was kind of into him? Until the end of the scene, anyway, when he mentioned wanting to get her pregnant. I do believe she is pregnant already, so I guess they’re setting up something where Euron might think her pregnancy by Jaime is his (assuming her pregnancy lasts)? I do think it’s funny how the elephant thing became such a meme. And I also expect her to send the Golden Company–elephants or no elephants–North immediately. When Qyburn mentioned other plans for Dany, I assumed Cersei was going to try to kidnap her when the Golden Company attacks the North. We have multiple stills from the next episode but none outside Winterfell. I’m thinking maybe they can’t show anything elsewhere because it might spoil the GC leaving to head North. But this is just a theory. 

Speaking of Qyburn, the Bronn scene was trash and I can’t believe in s8 we’re still having to look at pointless prostitute sex scenes. But the bit about Cersei asking Bronn to kill Jaime or Tyrion was chilling and I guess I expect him to at least attempt it at some point. That’ll be interesting. 

The scene at Last Hearth was another I actually really enjoyed. Edd’s line about Tormund’s blue eyes was hilarious and I love both characters so much. Most of all, the gruesome display of Ned Umber’s corpse and all the severed limbs was genuinely terrifying and I was so scared when he woke up and started screaming haha. It was great horror and a necessary reminder that the White Walkers are still around and are still a serious threat.

The ending with Jaime and Bran was a great sign-off to the premiere and provided excellent meme fodder all week. I have to say the one good thing to come from robo-Bran has been the memes. The Curb Your Enthusiasm one is my personal fave of the week. 

Tldr, the good: Jonerys kisses and smiles, Jon and Arya reunion, Theon and Yara, Last Hearth creepiness. The bad: Everyone up North is OOC, with Sansa, Sam, and Dany standing out to me especially in this regard, pretending Viserion didn’t get turned into a wight basically, weird jarring tonal shifts throughout

Overall I obviously didn’t like the episode but I don’t want to dwell on that. I’m looking forward to more and hoping they will be better. I hate to be this negative about it because I love Game of Thrones. It’s my favorite show of all time and writing and talking about it is pretty much my favorite hobby these days. I went into the season expecting to love it, and I still do, but even after sitting on 8.01 for days, I still feel let down by it and I want to be honest about that. That being said, I don’t want to simmer in negativity so this is hopefully the last I’ll be complaining about it. I don’t want to answer a lot of negative asks on it (sorry for being so behind on asks, by the way :( I’m trying to balance making content and working and it isn’t going well haha). Here’s hoping Sunday’s episode is better. 

If anyone actually read this far, thanks and I hope you enjoyed the episode more than I did <3 And if you do disagree with me, that’s ok, too! These are just my opinions, and they took hours to write. So please be civil haha.