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#and I have to do laundry but I have no classes tomorrow so am doing it then
e77y · 1 month
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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good-beans · 1 year
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I do believe it's bedtime 😌
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zemnarihah · 1 year
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guys i have so much homework this week:(
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jonquilandlace · 1 year
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I genuinely can neither understand nor believe that my graduate life in which we were told not to commit to anything extracurricular because of how busy we would be is more relaxed and calm than my undergraduate where we were told we shouldn’t complain about the amount of homework and make sure to do extracurriculars/more classes or else you won’t be employable—
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swoopyswish · 2 years
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psychically begging everyone in my apartment building to be cool about the laundry room being closed for renovations for a full week starting wednesday
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scarletcomet · 2 years
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love how i’m probably going to have to spend my entire fall break applying for internships. that is, if i make it through this week.
#have huge assignment due tomorrow (literally a whole ass news site in a class we have not been taught anything and they grade so harshly)#like functional can make an account and login and post articles and comment and shit from scratch using html css php and sql#none of which i had ever used before this class (they don't teach us)#i also have an exam tomorrow i haven't even thought about studying for yet (im gonna need to pull an all nighter fml im so exhausted already#also an exam wednesday (yom kippur) in a class where i am like over 3 weeks behind#a big programming assignment in the class i have an exam in tomorrow that's due friday that i cannot think about until after my exam thurs#not to mention my usual hw assignments in many classes#i did a really shitty job on my hw due this week/weekend#didn't try very hard on my hw due fri because i was so busy and then wanted to go to parties oops (that's not like me huh)#straight up didn't even submit my astrophysics hw due yesterday because i was just so exhausted so i was like fuck it#we get 2 drops i think#i need to do laundry but i don't have time. i have no clean clothes but i haven't had enough time at my apartment to do it#my apartment is such a mess#i need to clean before i leave for fall break on friday but idk if ill have time#i am so overwhelmed#there's absolutely no way ill be able to get even a fraction of all the stuff i need to get done this week done#my anxiety lowkey has not been super bad this weekend in the first time in so long#but at the same time idk if that's a good thing because im not as motivated to do work even tho i don't want to sh as much which is good
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transgaysex · 2 years
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time is so stupid anyway
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mothmanns · 2 years
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ranting in tags
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alxclaremont · 2 years
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i’m so tired. i have quite literally a million things to do tomorrow and this weekend. all i want to do is go to bed but my suitemates insist on being the nosiest people in the entire world.
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one of the best realizations I have had as I have grown up is how amazing it is to show up for the people you love, unashamedly and unapologetically. show up to their classical music productions when you don't know anything about that kind of music, their chemistry club meetings when you are a literature student and don't know anything about chemistry but your bestie is doing cool experiments with copper sulphate, the very alluring blue portion you were tempted to drink in school cause it looked so magical. show up when they wake up from a long nap and have missed dinner and are feeling shitty, make them maggi and get them their fave chocolate. show up when they rant about animal documentaries excitedly and listen when they tell you the plot of jujustu kaisan at 4 am during exam week. take a walk with them at 11 pm in night because they told you you have no classes tomorrow so come down (it's their emotionally suppressed way of saying I miss you). cuddle with them to sleep because they are scared of thunderstorms. make them an art piece and write them a love letter for their birthday to show them you love them so much and you will never stop probably and that scares you sometimes but their presence will reassure you always. I know you know that they know that you love them but when you gift them your "an incomplete list of things you love about them" in your shitty handwriting they will smile and cry and choke you in a hug for 5 mins, it will be a smile spilling out of the sun and it'll be so worth it always. reply to their messages of hey "your name" except your name gets weirder and weirder cause they are bored and miss you and wanna talk and even if you are busy and tired , do return some of their affection with a small message that yes, you missed them too even though you are too tired to express. give them your fave drawing and you'll see how they have hung it up on their cork board in their dorm room. tell them to spam their earring collections and marvel over their strawberry earrings. send them a video message when they send you their jiggly caramel pudding video because omg they can cook now and you are so happy for them that you want to portal through the phone and hug them (you're gonna give them a recipe notebook for their birthday). let them rant on the phone while you fold your laundry, it's manageable mostly.
there are days when you can't show up and it's okay and they'll understand, most people who love you do, they should. but gosh, putting in effort in any relationship isn't that the best thing? because they are not just worth your love, the point of worth never even comes cause they are the very meaning of love. because God remember what Miyazaki said when you love someone you inspire each other to live and grow even when you recognize how hard living is. growing is difficult but you love growing with them.
I used to think I love people too much but you know what they love me too much too. so when someone asked richard siken what do you do when you love someone too much he said congratulate yourself. and today I am congratulating myself cause I know the loves of my life are doing that too.
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ros3ybabe · 6 months
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Daily Check-in: April 14, 2024 🎀
Hello lovelies! Life is looking better again, but omg was Wednesday thru Saturday morning rough for me. Even last night I was crying my eyes out, but things got better today so I am happy. I want to make a small announcement about the future of my blog: I am changing the theme!! I will still be keeping the pinterest-image, pink, girly aesthetic for my more general posts (lists, routines, etc) but for my daily check ins, I will be using photos I take myself (anonymous surroundings, notes, food/drinks, etc) and colors and emojis that compliment the photos! I have been wanting to change the vibe a bit lately to make it more me, more personal, and I think now is the time to do so! I'm excited to start taking my own photos now, that'll be so fun!!
🩷 What I Accomplished:
washed my sheets, towels, blankets, and comforter
washed and put away all laundry
cleaned the bathroom
packed shoes to ship from my depop shop
cooked chicken fettuccine alfredo from scratch (I made the sauce myself too! it was heavy on the parm and some pieces of chicken were salty, but it was so yummy and rich in flavor!)
planned out some of my week
packed my gym bag for tomorrow (I'm gonna start working out again, I'm nervous)
did my guided journal and morning journal
read 3 chapters of The Untethered Soul (interesting so far, going to keep reading to see how I enjoy it)
wrote out my brain dump for the week
reflected on the week + updated with my accountability buddies
bought groceries (time to make smoothies for breaky this week) and toiletries
🩷 Good Things That Happened:
my pasta was super yummy
had a long phone call with my dad (it was a good talk!)
finally read a physical book and not on my ipad
had such a nice, long shower early this morning
confidently planned goals for the week
my psyc assignment got extended til Wednesday for the whole class
found a recipe for avocado protein smoothie (excited to try it)
🩷 Stuff For Tomorrow
make a breakfast smoothie
gym cardio workout
need to ship shoes I sold
need to complete my homework
studying Spanish (have an italki lesson on April 22nd!!)
read some more
studying chemistry in preparation for my finals
No "what needs to go better" for me today, because today was a really good day. I'm feeling better and life itself is working out the way I knew it would. I just gotta trust in the universe more.
til next time, lovelies 🩷
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yeontaescumslut · 3 months
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ᓭི༏ᓯྀ ྐ𖥨᩠ׄ݁ ˖ ݁ 𓈒 불꽃놀이 ~ fireworks
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Pairing: Taehyun x Reader
Genre: non- idol au, smut
Synopsis: You had never really cared for holidays, your family wasn’t close, you never really celebrated…that is, until you met your best friend Taehyun, who wanted to do anything and everything, especially celebrate holidays….and boy did this one take a turn….
Warnings: unprotected sex, name calling, public sex, hair pulling, slight pain kink, degrading
Word count: 2420
Authors note: Hey guys :’3 I wrote this on vacation so it’s not as good as the others but just something small to celebrate 4th of July for my Americans!
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It was summer, you were on break from college, in Korea…you attend yonsei university and that’s how you met your best friend in the whole world, you shared the same classes, he sat right beside you in all the lectures and before you knew it, you were joined at the hip. His friends now became yours because let’s face it, you had recently come to Korea to study and knew nobody and nothing so you would take what you got.
Today was any other ordinary Wednesday for you, except for Taehyun it was the July 3rd the day before 4th of July, as 4th of July was an American Holiday taehyun thought it would be fun to celebrate for you, like a piece from home for you…
Text message | From ~ “Tyunnie 🐠”
Tae: “Sooo, we have plans tomorrow, don’t ask questions, dress cute, wear that top I like ;)”
Me: “oh gosh taehyun 🙄 you know I don’t like going out…”
Tae: “I knowwww but it’s going to be fun, you know I’d never lead you astray 😏”
Me: “Fine 🙄 what time do I need to be ready?”
Tae: “ Be ready by 8”
The rest of the night your mind is racing wondering what could he have planned, but you’re used to this, always going on spontaneous adventures…he knew how to make you love life, so even though you were nervous about tomorrow you were more so excited to see what you both would get up to next.
The next day comes around faster than you’d like to admit, you start your day late waking up around 11 am, eyes heavy brain still foggy, you rub the sleep from your eyes and grab your phone to check your notifications ~
New message from : “Tyunnie🐠”
“GOOD MORNING PRINCESS! I hope you’re excited for tonight I’ve got so much planned for us. See you later darling :3 ~”
You don’t like to admit it but this message made your heart race, in fact every message you received from him made your heart race, sending butterflies in your stomach….but he’s just your best friend. That would never work out, right? You decide that’s enough overthinking for today, shaking your head in realization. Slamming your hands on the bed beside you, you decide to finally start your day, you had lots to do before tonight, laundry, cleaning, finishing school work for the summer, etc etc ~
Time flies, before you know it, it’s 6:45 and decide that it’s time to get ready, you put on taehyuns favorite top that you own, a sheer black top that ties right below your breasts, and a black mini skirt, your shoes are black platform boots, you curl your hair, putting on the makeup that makes you feel the prettiest, and again before you know it you hear a honk coming from the front of the place you’re staying. Walking out you grab your black coach purse, looking yourself in the mirror giving yourself a pep talk, not to get too nervous in front of him, and don’t let your feelings get in the way….
Walking out the door, Taehyun is pulled on the curb in his black mustang, he’s standing arms crossed back to the passenger side door, flashing you the biggest smile, the one you love so much, deep dimples and sharp canines on display, your stomach turning in knots as you approach closer, you known him for months now yet you still hesitate every time you see him…
“There’s my girl!” he opens the car door, holding out his hand to guide you in your seat, as you grab his hand he bites his lip looking you up and down “God you look gorgeous” you respond with “well you did tell me to wear this top hyun” you roll your eyes at him but give a playful smile. As you take your seat in the car and get yourself situated he closes the door gently, walking back to the drivers seat getting in himself. His hand rested on the gear shift the other on the top of the steering wheel, he looks over at you “you ready?” you look back at him hesitating to answer “uhhh I guess?!!” you said with a shrug of your shoulders, the hand on the gear shift, moves to your bare upper thigh, slightly squeezing “We’re going to have fun I promise” smile as bright as always. You take a deep breath in and sigh, only being able to focus on the hand on your thigh, a heat raging in your stomach as his hand moves higher up your thigh as he drives. You’re sat still, hands in your lap not knowing what to do in this situation “ soooo uhhh where are we headed” you say tapping your fingers together just trying to break the silence “ We’re going to the mountain, the one not far from here” he says, hand squeezing your thigh tighter but eyes focused on the road.
By now the sun has gone down, you and Taehyun are just sitting and chatting eating snacks and drinking your champagne, you look at Taehyun to tell him something when suddenly, he grabs your chin turning your head back forward “Look.” As soon as your eyes hit the landscape fireworks shot up into the air, beautiful colorful fireworks, your eyes lighting up from the beauty and excitement from how much you missed them. “Wow taehyun these are….” before you can finish your sentence that same hand is turning your face back to him, your eyes meet his, they look as though they’re full of hunger, in a split second his lips are on yours, his hand moved to the back of your head pulling you closer to him so there’s not an inch between you two. He pulls away for a split second “is this okay?” He says, his eyes genuine. “Yes, it’s more than okay” barely letting you get your words out, his mouth is back on yours, tongue fighting for entrance to your mouth, with his free hand he places it on your lower back lowering you to lay on your back, grabbing a pillow and places it behind your head, he’s hovering over you, arms beside your head….now this is one thing you never expected, especially from him, he was always so…soft and kind and never pushy, but god did you love this side of him. His knee coming up inbetween your legs pressing it against your core only covered by your underwear. One hand coming to grab you by the throat, turning your head to the side so his lips can reach the nape of your neck, his lips warm, plush, and wet, trailing their way to your collar bones, then down to your chest, his hand moves to your waist holding you down so you don’t squirm under him, he uses his teeth to untie your top freeing your breast’s to the chilly night air, making your nipples harden before you can adjust to the temperature his mouth is attached to you, sucking and licking your nipples, his hands are busy pushing your skirt up your hips, his fingers finding your clothed clit, pressing his slender digits into your folds, mumbling into your skin “Fuck you’re so wet for me already? You’re a needy slut aren’t you?” His tongue trailing from your sternum to your waist, he’s leaving kisses along your hip bones, his teeth slightly scraping the skin every once in a while, sending shocks up your spine, little moans leaving your lips, his fingers slip your panties to the side making way for him to enter, his pointer and middle slide in easy from how wet you were. His mouth now hovering over your clit, heavy breaths with an open mouth make you spiral, he bites his lip and dives in, lips enveloping your bud, tongue making its way up and down your folds, his fingers sliding in and out of you, his free hand taking a handful of your tit rubbing his thumb across your nipple, your back arched on the Gingham blanket, tears welling in ths corners of your eyes….
Fireworks pop in the background, the showers of color illuminating Taehyuns features as he’s knuckle deep in your pussy. His eyes dart up to meet yours, when he sees your eyes shut tight he breaks away from your bud “Fucking look at me slut, I didn’t tell you to close your eyes”. He picks himself up, hovering over you once again, his fingers leaving your entrance, his arms wrap around your waist flipping you over on your stomach, one hand on your upper back pushing you into the pillow the other around your waist holding your ass in the air. “Stay” he says removing his hand from your back to unbutton his black slacks pulling them down to release his 7.5” you can’t see but hear the slap against his stomach, he spits on his hand rubbing it on his cock, moving your panties to the side once again, his thumb on your fold holding it open as he slides himself into you. Grunting as your pussy engulfs him, soft moans leaving his lips as well, when he’s situated in you, he speeds up his pace. Arm still holding you by your stomach ass in the air, with his free hand, reaching for your hair gathering your locks in a ponytail pulling your head up “I wanna see your pretty face while I destroy your pussy” You comply turning your face so he can see your side profile.
“Mmmm that’s my good girl” a devilish grin is painted on his face, his pounding getting harder, his moans growing louder, tears now painting your face as knots form in your stomach from him hitting just the right spot over and over again “Fuck I’ve wanted to do this for so long, you’re so mine” he says biting his lip hand letting go of your hair to smack you on the ass, the sting left behind feels painful but so sensual. His hand now grabbing a handful of your asscheek nails leaving crescent shapes in the skin. His head thrown back, his ashy brown locks coated in sweat. Beads dropping down the slope of his nose, he looked perfect.
His grip on you getting tighter as he nears his high, you also nearing yours cries escape your throat, his name in every one, he loves the sound of it so much so it’s drawing him closer and closer, your legs basically dangling in the air at this point as though he’s using you as his personal sex doll, his pattern getting messier letting you know he was about to cum, his hand now reaching under ti grab you by the throat pulling you up to him, your back now on his chest as he’s on his knees, his strength guiding you up and down his cock, his lips near centimeters from your ear “I’m gonna cum, fuck, and you’re gonna take every last drop” this sends you spiraling, stars dancing across your vision from how tight your eyes are shut “Yes sir” you say shakily getting out what words you can. His grip on your neck tightens, a pleasurable tightness as he reaches his climax, slamming his hips into your ass painting your walls white, his teeth dig into your shoulder blade as he lets out whimpers as your walls are tightening from your high following suit, you cry his name tears flowing down your cheeks, body pulsating as you feel the warm inside of you. He lifts you off of him just to bend you back over, hand on your neck so you stay in place, his pointer and middle push into you once again, pushing his seed deep into your pussy “I told you you’re not waiting even one drop” screaming bellowing out of you from overstimulation but god does it feel good from him. He finally lets you go, letting you fall to your stomach on the soft blanket and pillow, you sigh heavy breathing following….”Oh I hope you know I’m not done with you yet princess” kissing your shoulders his tone hands rubbing up and down your back. “oh fuck”.
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octuscle · 1 year
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I am the only smart and social guy in my class and I’m also he only gay one, normally I prefer to hang with the girls and do all my projects with them…but this time our teacher forced all us guys together, in time for the group project I overheard the boys talking about making me a real Man/boy with there phones. Help!
You have your first project meeting. You are sitting in a circle with the boys. Everyone is playing with their cell phones, picking their noses or scratching their balls. You take a deep breath. And you think you have an idea for an environmental project. Collecting trash on the bank of the creek behind the school. And classifying the garbage according to the possibility of recycling.
Dude, that's a lame idea, grunts one of the guys. We were thinking something like "how far can hard training get you in a week". The other guys applaud. And one presses the "Activate" button on the Chronivac app.
Hehehe, you're not into sports at all. But that sounds like a cool project. Shit, why didn't you come up with that idea. You do a little research on the Internet. Calculate the budget, write to a few sponsors. Look for sportswear, nutritional supplements, also look for sources of potentially illegal support. The other guys play with their cell phones. One of them says you should chill out. It's enough if you start tomorrow.
Project diary, day 1:
Erkan sent me a message this morning that he and the other guys will be at the gym at 08:00. I should come already dressed. I don't even remember that I already got a bag with gym clothes yesterday. But in any case, there is one next to my desk. I put on a tank top, some shorts, socks and shoes. While brushing my teeth in the bathroom, I think to myself how ridiculous the way-too-big clothes look on me. On the bus, I'm a little uncomfortable with my appearance. And between the boys in the gym even more so. But it's a project, we have to go through with it.
We spend six hours in the gym. Has been amazingly fun. Somehow I was the only one sweating. The boys just played with their cell phones again. Hopefully there are good pictures for the project documentation. After the training I wanted to take a shower, but the guys took me directly to their regular shisha bar. I have rarely felt so uncomfortable. Because everyone else is bigger, more muscular and more masculine than me. And because I'm the only guest in sweaty sports gear. Besides, I'm starting to feel the soreness. I just fall into bed in the evening. Unable to move.
Project diary, day 2:
At 06:00 I get an address from Bogdan. Barbershop from his cousin. Meeting at 07:00 so that I no longer have to train with the ridiculous blond curls. I'm supposed to put on yesterday's clothes. I didn't have the clothes hung up yesterday. Actually I wanted to put on fresh clothes today So, of course, nothing has dried. Brushing teeth must go quickly, I'm late. Fuck, I actually finally get beard growth? Must take a closer look at me later in the gym.
So far it does not get at all. Bogdan's cousin not only gives me a new haircut, he also shaves me. In my opinion, completely unnecessary. But the result is cool. For the first time I can imagine in the gym on the weight bench in front of the mirror that the project will be a success. Otherwise, the workout goes like yesterday. After the six-hour program, I was looking forward to a shisha. But Ivo takes me to the outdoor pool. One hour of swimming One hour on the lawn. One hour of swimming. Ivo allows me to take a cold shower without shower gel after swimming. It feels good. And I like my tight white ass.
Project diary, day 3:
When Akay sends me the message to remember that my gym clothes are still in the locker, I'm already awake for an hour. Pushups and situps. I got quite a tantrum from my mom yesterday about how my room looks. Hey, the laundry isn't that dirty yet. And I'll clean up the cum-soaked handkerchiefs tonight.
Since the rest is as I said in the gym, I go only in tracksuit with white socks and Adiletten in the bus. I look so antisocial. Makes me somehow horny. In the gym I'm alone today. Fuck, to be honest, the losers only disturb. Let them hang out, I have my own rhythm. And it beats out of iron. For solid muscles. I take a break only to pour protein shakes into me. And on the way to the outdoor pool I make a quick stop at Bogdan's cousin. Trimming the sides And trim the beard.
At dinner, my mother tells me that I stink as much as my room. My father is on my team. He pumps himself. And considerably more than me. It's good to have support at home for my goals. I eat my five chicken breasts with rice, drink two more liters of water and then go to bed. Dad looks in again, laughs, says that nothing stinks as cool as pump sweat and asks if he should get me a syringe cure. Fist bump, old man! But I stay natural for now.
Project diary, day 4:
Was horny while pumping. Today on the bench 150 kilograms pressed. Need new tank top. The old one stinks excellent. But is too tight.
In the evening once again met with the guys on Shisha. Was cool. But they are not focused enough. Juri has scratched his belly. Ey, hardly a six-pack to see. Would I be ashamed of myself!
Project diary, day 6:
Ey, yesterday completely forgotten the diary. Was in great shape in the gym. In the afternoon then posed at the pool. Trained on the pull-up bars. The fans applauded. And in the evening with my old man bombed our arms for an hour. I'd like to have his biceps too.
Today is free. Sascha got me an appointment with the tattoo artist. Before again Barber And afterwards outdoor pool. And then party. The boys and me to the disco. Man, I could have had them all! And I fucked two guys on the toilet. Shit, I have so much energy, I really have to cum four times a day. At least!
Project diary, day 7:
I can only hope that one of the guys makes the presentation about our project. I'm so totally not up for it. I already wrote the damn diary. And I was the guinea pig. I'm a fucking hot lab rat.
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One of the guys said last night that I used to be a nerd and a weakling. Must have been a long time ago.
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zemnarihah · 1 year
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there has got to be something wrong with me quite literally WHY do i spend all day languishing about when I have stuff to do and then get in a really good workflow at 1;23 in the am.
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teabutmakeitazure · 2 years
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Closing Shift - 2
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>Yan! Demon! Childe x Fem! Reader
Warnings: a little blood, stalking, non consensual touching, dubious consent towards the end, suggestive
Word count: 3.5k
Part 1
゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚゚⁠.⁠*⁠・⁠。゚
The sound of your alarm blaring at full volume wakes you up. As usual, you snooze it at least thrice before you get out of bed. The cold air of your dorm room greets you along with the realisation that you forgot to turn on the heater last night. You must’ve been very tired.
One look at the date had your brain start listing off things you needed to get done. Even when brushing your teeth, you made a grocery list in mind and reminded yourself to do some laundry. Classes start on Tuesday instead of Monday so you have tomorrow and the day after to prepare.
You just hope you don’t let this perfectly good Saturday go to waste. After all, you do have a tendency to lounge around on weekends. Setting the frying pan on the stove, you grab an egg without forgetting to put some bread in the toaster. It’s when you’re cracking the egg that you feel a pair of arms slither around you.
With a frantic glance, you look around the kitchen but no one’s there. It’s only you. Well, it must've been your imagination. No biggie.
When breakfast is made, you sit down at your study table with your phone in one hand, browsing for something to watch while you eat. That’s when you get a notification from Ajax, the poor guy thanking you for the time yesterday and asking when you’re next free. You don’t open the message though, preferring to read it from the notifications bar.
It seems a little weird to read someone’s messages right after they send them.
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“Grocery, done. Laundry, not done. Pre-class course prep, done. Internship application, done. What am I missing?”
You wrack your brain as you pace around in your room. Something’s missing. Something you forgot to do…
“Aha! Cleaning! Gosh, I can’t believe I forgot about cleaning.”
Well, seeing that it’s already nighttime, you think you’d rather do it tomorrow. You’re already tired as is, and it’s also midnight. Maybe hitting the hay is the better call.
As soon as you’re changed, you’re under the warm blanket, heater turned off because the colder the room, the more enticing the warm bed. This time, you don’t turn off the lights. Despite being well aware that what happened was your brain playing tricks on you, you’re still scared. So, the light stays on tonight.
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When you wake up, you see nothing. Maybe it's because the light is now turned off and the curtains are drawn or maybe it's because a hand covers both your eyes. You can't be sure which it is, for every muscle in your body refuses to listen to you.
You're not panicking. You swear you aren't. Despite the loss of sight, you know you're in your room. The bedsheet feels the same under your palm and the warmth inside the blanket is yours. So whose warmth is covering your eyes?
It's okay.
Breathe.
It's just a nightmare.
You're safe.
Something presses up behind you, warm and inviting, and the only thing stopping you from screaming is the loss of control in your body. Just to confirm your fears, you try to open your eyes. Your eyelids do respond, but your heart sinks when you feel your lashes flutter against something.
"Go back to sleep, [Name]," a voice whispers.
Your mind doesn't listen to it, instead trying its best to scream and thrash just to lay hopelessly as your body remains frozen.
Lips brush your ear as the voice whispers again, a warm hand now resting on your bare stomach. "Sleep. We have lots to do."
You feel the owner of the voice smile against your cheek as your eyelids slowly close, mind falling into a peaceful slumber.
-
The only thing your alarm gets in return for waking you up is a colourful string of words. Just a few minutes after getting up, you turn off the light you left open last night and rub your eyes as you make your way to the bathroom to start your day.
In a few hours, you’re done cleaning your dorm and successfully check everything off the list. Now all you have to do is mentally prepare yourself for another night out with Ajax. He’s been bugging you to go to some family owned coffeehouse downtown, saying that their ‘marshmallow game’ is ‘like no other’. It takes some lounging around and a few long phone calls to friends to bring in the evening.
A little pep talk later, you’re out the door with the cherished oversized coat and a scarf. You don’t know why, you honestly don’t know, but you’re also wearing lip gloss. No, you refuse to admit that you've snooped to the level of wanting to impress a man. It’s just that the weather is dry and lip gloss ensures less use of chapstick. Yes, that’s what it is.
After you get off the train, you make your way to the meeting spot you both decided. Your breath leaves your mouth in puffs, the temperature of the winter night making you thank yourself for indoor heating. When Ajax’s ginger hair comes into sight, you remind yourself of only staying in public with him lest something… indecent occur. You’re aware of your ‘inclination’ to him, and you’d rather not put yourself to the test.
Being somewhere alone with him would be excruciating considering how attractive you find him, so strictly staying in public it is no matter how nerve wracking sitting across him on a table might be.
With a smile that’s all teeth, he greets you, and you find yourself a little taken by surprise with how his canines seemed a little prominent for a moment. You brush off the feeling as simple nervousness and smile back as you allow him to lead the way.
The smell of caffeine and chocolate fills the shop, even helping you relax a little when the two of you sit down across each other. Soon, the relaxed atmosphere turns into a perplexed one when Ajax snatches the menu from your hands with a cheeky grin on his face.
“I’ll order for you! Don’t worry about the price. I’ll take care of it.”
You gasp, “We agreed on me paying for myself!”
“Well,” he drawls, “I don’t believe that’s very gentlemanly for me to do. End of argument. Now, do you like hot fudge or roasted marshmallows?”
“That’s not fair!”
“Or maybe you’d be fine with both?”
The complete ignorance of your exclamations makes you grumble. Ajax, meanwhile, has the most smug look known to mankind on his face right now.
“...I’ll take the hot fudge,” you concede.
The ginger bastard completely ignores you, ordering the cup that has both hot fudge and roasted marshmallows. When he turns back to you after giving the order, he’s met with a scowl.
“Uh-”
“You’re insufferable, you know.”
Ajax visibly gulps at your displeased tone. “And why’s that?”
“First off, are you really going to ignore the blessing that is hot chocolate and get simple coffee again?”
“It does help me sleep… and not make me gain weight.”
You massage your temples upon hearing the same reason for the umpteenth time. “And secondly, how dare you, Ajax, spend your money like this?”
He turns pale at the question. “Oh no. How do you know about the vacuum?”
“What?”
“You’re scolding me about the vacuum right? The one I bought yesterday?”
You blink owlishly at him, the confusion explicitly written on your face. “No? I’m talking about the drink. That’s going to be expensive!”
He merely laughs at that, carefree and boyish as he looks at you with a smile. “Not at all. Spending some extra dollars isn’t going to hurt. It never will, not if it’s for you.”
The sentiment makes you flush. Ajax really does know how to use his words. He can be so sweet sometimes, and those lips… no! Begone thought! No thirsting over his lips! Perfectly moisturised lips shouldn't be this darn attractive!
"So… how's preparation for the new semester going, [Name]?"
-
You can't believe you did that.
You absolutely cannot believe yourself.
Ajax, as an act of whatever it was, had grabbed your hand before parting ways at the station and kissed your knuckles to which all you said was, "Thanks."
Thanks.
Oh God, you're hopeless. Bless the man for laughing it off, but you're sure he found it awkward too. You scream into your pillow in frustration, the unwanted memory repeating in your head. That was so unbearably ungrateful of you.
After punching the air and pillow a few times, you fall back onto your bed with a thump, closing your eyes despite the light as you will yourself to sleep.
-
While changing clothes, you paused when you saw your reflection in the mirror. There's a bruise right where your chest starts but more on the left side. It looks like you hurt yourself? The bruise is a bit red but it doesn't sting. Maybe you scratched yourself in your sleep. No biggie.
A ring from your phone alerts you, a call from Ajax that you don't pick up because you're tangled up in your shirt, face half through. You make a mental note to call him back later. However, the mental note rests in the back of your mind when you head out to meet your friends with your phone left on vibrate.
-
The first thing you do when you get back is regret not taking the oversized coat. It was cold and you stayed out for a bit longer than you anticipated, getting back two hours after sundown. The hoodie you wore only did so much to block out the cold temperature outside on campus.
Kicking off your shoes, you turn on the light as you slump into your chair, bag laying forgotten on the floor. At least you had an early dinner today. You don't have to worry about eating now, but maybe some kind of warm drink would help. Yes, you have tea at home.
Getting up in one smooth motion, you make your way to the kitchen. Since you don't own a kettle, you boil some water in a little pot and carefully pour it out. When you drop a tea bag into the cup, you feel a warm breath of air brush your ear and immediately turn back, eyes quickly scanning the room behind you.
Nothing. Just a window that's a little open.
Breathe, [Name]. There's nothing there.
With shaking hands, you sit down on your desk with the cup, watching as the colour slowly darkens in the water. The peach tea smells amazing, and you try your best to think over your upcoming courses and classes while you drink. Soon, the cup is empty and you get up to wash it but two arms wrap around your torso from behind the backrest.
You try to scream, but your mouth doesn't even open.
"I don't appreciate you ignoring me, you know."
A voice very familiar to you whispers in your ear.
"Not answering my calls or texts and going out without your special coat… are you trying to get me jealous? If you are, it's working."
You try to thrash around to fight his grip but you can't move. This time when he talks, his lips brush your earlobe and you shiver at the contact.
"I can smell them on you. It's disgusting."
He turns the chair around, and you're met with Ajax wearing his usual maroon dress shirt and black pants, jacket lying forgotten on the floor behind him as he kneels down. His eyes refuse to even acknowledge the light falling onto them, the two endless oceans staring into you.
"Do you not have an ounce of shame for ignoring me for so long? Come on, speak."
You feel in control of your voice again and take the opportunity. "H-how did you get in?"
"Answer the question, my dear. Why were you ignoring me?"
"I wasn't ignoring you-"
"Then how do you explain going out with those simpleton mortals and coming here smelling like them as well? And you didn't even wear the damn coat!"
You don't answer, the overwhelming feeling of fear flowing in your blood as your body shivers involuntarily under his lifeless gaze.
"My sweet, sweet [Name]." His warm hands grab your face, the feeling burning your skin. "My mate, my love. You didn't answer my call or texts. What am I supposed to do if you're going to ignore me? I can't have you get sick."
"H-how did you come in?"
He tilts his head slightly, a smile quickly stretching on his lips. "Why, because of your presence of course."
The smile unnerves you more than the paralysis does. You can't move. You can't even shiver without shuddering.
"Are you scared?"
The low tone of his voice makes you shudder again, eyes watering at the loss of control.
"Y-yes."
Ajax buries his face into your neck, his nose brushing the skin. "Good. Mm, I should get rid of this smell. It's revolting."
You brace yourself for the worst, but the most that comes is a lick on your neck.
"Why… are you here?"
His lips brush your skin when he speaks. "I could ask you the same. I asked you to meet me today, but you didn't even see my message."
"I'm sorry-"
"Ah ah ah. No crying." He pulls away and brushes away the few tears that managed to escape your eyes. "You only cry when I pleasure you. You're my mate. Maybe I should keep you in our realm to make you start acting like it."
A sharp nail accidentally cuts the flesh of your cheek and any blood that manages to ooze out is promptly licked up by him.
"Do you remember Friday," he mumbled against your cheek. "Anything at all?"
"We… we went to a coffee shop."
"And?"
"A-and that's it. We went there and you ordered coffee while I ordered hot chocolate. And then… I went home."
He smiles. "Did you?"
The question makes you nervously gulp.
"Seems like your memory really did get tampered," he states.
“What do you mean…?”
“Are you sure you went home?”
The sharp canines that peak out when he speaks, bring a sense of deja vu. From the way your eyes widen, Ajax senses that you’re realising something.
“And,” he continues, “do you remember the name Tartaglia?”
Despite the situation, you wrack your brain for any memory of the name. The feeling of familiarity does make you suspicious, but how would your memory get tampered with? How do you even know that Ajax didn’t break in?
Upon getting no answer from you, he chuckles. “I know, I know. I made you forget. Don’t worry though. I’ll give you a reminder.”
A sharp, claw-like nail presses down on your tongue when he pries open your mouth. You almost gag at the action, but he quickly stops the reaction midway when he kisses you, his tongue sucking any blood that bleeds from yours.
You must’ve regained control in your body because you’re pushing him away as hard as you can, but he doesn’t budge. It takes a few minutes for your arms to go limp due to the lack of oxygen and only a moment for you to start gasping in air when he finally frees you.
“Oh and your gag reflex is very good, I must say. You sadly don’t remember anything, so you’ll have to take my word for it. Unless… you’re willing to see it for yourself again?”
“Please, don’t hurt me.”
He sighs, bored and spent, and simply picks you up. Not a single word is uttered as he gently places you on the bed, climbing up beside you soon after. You merely watch with curious yet fearful eyes as he brings a lock of your hair to his lips. When his eyes flicker over to you briefly, you move your gaze to the ceiling above, the red irises making you more apprehensive.
“I’m not going to hurt you, you know. Not if you behave.”
Your reply comes in the form of a question. “Why? What’s going on…?”
With a slight movement of your head, you’re now facing him as your hair sprawls out on the pillow. You remind yourself to de-escalate the situation and keep it that way. If you can stay safe, answers will come.
“Why?” He smirks. “Are you curious about me? Ah, maybe doing everything a second time will make things more fun.” He sits up straight, eyeing your form. Blood red eyes remain fixed on the swell of your chest, but quickly re-establish eye contact when he starts speaking.
“My name is Tartaglia, and as you may have guessed like you did last time, I am not human. Though it makes me a little sad that you never questioned the odd stuff despite being so wary of me at first, I can’t deny that your innocence is more than just a little attractive to me.”
He brushes away a few strands of hair from your face and continues. “I’m pretty grateful that you’re behaving right now. It gives the death of all those other men a little worth.”
Like last time, your eyes widen, but he shushes you before you could speak.
“Yes yes. I know you’re horrified over me being the one behind that, but competition has to be eliminated. Anyway, before cussing me out in your mind at least say sorry because I can hear your thoughts!”
You freeze.
“A blood bond is more than just life binding.”
You raise yourself on one elbow, numerous questions going through your head but Ajax - or Tartaglia - pushes you to lay back down.
“A blood bond has been made between us. I completed it when I cut your tongue and drank the blood. Isn’t that convenient?”
“It’s not-”
“No,” he shushes you again. “Let me talk.” Clearing his throat, he speaks again. “With this, I can hear everything you say to yourself in your mind. Other than that, if one of us dies, the other dies too, and if you stay away from me for long, you start to get sick. Very sick.”
“Bullshit. You’re lying.”
“Am I? Then how do I know you wanted to kiss me yesterday at the coffee shop? Or how did I get in? How did we suddenly get to my room?”
What? No, he’s right. You’re not in your room anymore. You sit up to look around in confusion, but he pushes you back to lie down where the moonlight falls on the bed.
“Ahem,” he clears his throat. “I don’t see why this is a problem. You like me, don’t you? So much that you told yourself not to be alone with me.”
His hand grabs your thigh and gives it a little squeeze. “I want to mark more than just your chest.”
Your eyes go as wide as saucers.
“Spending the night with you while you sleep isn’t enough,” he confesses. Now lying next to you, he nuzzles his face into your neck, completely ignoring how you’re pushing him away. “You love me, right? You’ve even had dirty thoughts about me.”
You shiver when the hand on your thigh travels upwards.
“Show your devotion to me, my mate. The night is young. Let me taste you till the sun comes up.”
This time, you don’t fight back when his hand goes under your shirt as he kisses you.
-
The first thing you feel when you wake up is cold. You’re so unbearably cold that you immediately melt inside the blanket once it covers you. In your sleepy haze, you end up cuddling the warm body next to you, not questioning why you’re not alone.
The first thing you see when you wake up again later is the severe lack of clothes on you. Only one shirt covers you - no undergarments, no nothing - and your thighs have several marks on them. You have to try your best to ignore the ones that clearly look like bite marks. Only a few buttons in the middle of the maroon shirt are done, exposing everything else on the top and bottom.
Despite the heating in the unfamiliar room, your hands are cold. Soon, when you’ve gathered the strength to leave the bed, a voice in your head, one from last night, echoes.
‘Oh you sound so heavenly when you scream.’
The door suddenly swings open and in the blink of an eye, you’re being gently pushed back onto the bed by a familiar ginger. Sunlight filters through the curtains and falls onto you when your back hits the mattress, outlining every curve through the fabric of his shirt.
“Come on, you can’t get up before I have my taste.”
547 notes · View notes
cha-melodius · 1 year
Note
Hi friend! Congrats again on 100 works! Thank you for offering to write more for us! ❤️I'd like to request 1. firstprince and 2. Kensington as an AU, but only because you dared us to! Alternatively, if someone already requested that and you don't want to duplicate, I'd be interested in a hockey AU set inside the rink! Thank you again, I am so excited to see what you come up with and to read more of your words!
(Thank you so much for taking my bait lol, I've wanted to write this canon-divergence AU where they hook up in Kensington during the damage control trip for a while now. I hope you enjoy!)
Falling Down the Stairs of Your Smile
(firstprince, 4.1k, M; read it below or on AO3) read all the fandom fest fics
It wasn’t supposed to go like this. They were supposed to finish up at the hospital, and then Henry would go back to whatever the fuck he does while Alex went to the airstrip. He’d fly back to DC, so that maybe he’d be able to get some schoolwork done before Monday, and try to forget that this ridiculous weekend ever happened—barring the fact that he and Henry were still obligated to keep up the fake friendship for a few more months, that is.
Instead, Cash comes up to him as they stand outside of Kensington with a slightly grim look on his face and says, “Change of plans.”
“Huh?”
“They discovered an issue with the plane during the flight prep. It needs some part that they’re not going to be able to get until tomorrow morning. We’ll leave then.”
“What do you mean, they can’t get it? Why not?” Alex demands. Surely in a country with fucking royalty, nothing is out of grasp for said royals and their guests.
Cash shrugs. “Didn’t ask. The palace confirmed you can stay another night.”
Alex groans probably a little too dramatically. “What about my classes?”
“I am, in fact, very aware of your class schedule,” Cash says dryly. “You’ll be back in time.”
“I don’t have another change of clothes.”
“Pretty sure Kensington has laundry.”
“I’m really not getting out of this, am I?”
“Nope.”
Alex sighs and looks over to where Henry is standing with Shaan by the front gates. There’s a look of trepidation on his face, no doubt because he’s just been told that he’ll have to deal with Alex for another night. Of course, that’s not a given. Henry will probably disappear into his apartments and ignore him, which suits Alex fine. They may have reached a kind of détente today, but they’re not friends.
“Sorry to hear about your plane,” Henry says as they get back into the car that will drive them further into the palace.
Alex shrugs. “It’s fine. I guess I’ll have to survive the hardship of ten thousand thread count sheets another night.”
Henry huffs a little laugh and grins. It’s kind of amazing how different he looks when he smiles for real. “I know you’ve probably had your fill of me today, so feel free to say no, but…” He hesitates a moment, as if waiting for Alex to shut him down before he even makes his proposal. “I was thinking of ordering in curry for dinner tonight. There’s a place not far away that’s quite good. Maybe watch a film?”
It’s pretty much the last thing Alex expected him to say. He wonders if this is another olive branch, an acknowledgement that it’ll be easier to pretend they’re friends if they’re actually… kinda friends. Surprisingly, Alex doesn’t hate the idea.
“What movie?” he counters.
“Well, I would suggest one of the Star Wars films, but I’m not sure we could agree on one.”
“If we’re not going to watch the best one, aka Empire—”
“You mean Return of the Jedi,” Henry interjects.
“—I guess that leaves the next best.”
“So, Rogue One?”
Alex grins. “Ok, maybe we can be friends, after all.”
He’s absolutely not letting himself think about the warmth that grows in his chest when Henry laughs.
~~~~~
Alex discovers that there’s a room in Kensington that’s pretty much as tricked out as you can get without being in a movie theater—“There’s an actual theater in Buckingham,” Henry tells him, “but Dad had this put in for family film nights”—with a massive screen and a killer sound system. They eat their curry out of take-out containers on a surprisingly comfortable, normal couch as the movie plays, keeping up a running commentary between them that ranges from Star Wars lore to the cast (“Come on, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t follow Diego Luna anywhere. Look at him!” Alex insists, which garners him a strange look from Henry) to random things entirely unconnected to the movie.
Turns out Henry is actually really funny, which is a fucking shock and kind of annoying except for how he leaves Alex in stitches several times. It’s absurdly easy between them in a way that it shouldn’t be, and Alex can’t remember the last time he had this much fun just hanging out with someone. And it’s Henry. What is his life, even.
“I can’t believe you like this one,” Alex says as they watch Jyn and Cassian embrace desperately on the beach. “It’s pretty much the opposite of a happy ending. For the main characters, at least.”
Henry hums, tipping his head slightly. “They give up everything in the service of a cause bigger than themselves, and they succeed. There’s something beautiful about that.”
“God, you are a sap,” Alex teases, bumping his shoulder up against Henry’s. Somehow they’ve managed to migrate closer on the couch over the course of the movie, until they’re practically touching.
“And why do you like it, then?” Henry counters. “The action and spies and intrigue?”
“Not only that,” Alex says. “But there’s a reason I’m a big Bond fan.”
A smile flickers across Henry’s face that’s a little melancholy but mostly contented. “I suppose that makes sense given what I know of your movie tastes now.”
“Also, your dad was a total babe.”
Henry’s eyes go wide as he chokes on a laugh. “I beg you to not.”
They lapse into silence as the final scenes as the credits start to roll. The movie is over and it’s getting late, but all Alex can think of is that he really doesn’t want the night to end yet. Which is crazy. Twenty-four hours ago Alex was actively cursing this man’s name, and now he seemingly can’t get enough of spending time with him. It doesn’t make any sense, but somehow it does; it’s the same feeling that he was chasing all those years ago in Rio, the one that pushed him to go up an introduce himself at exactly the wrong time, the one that made the hurt of that encounter linger for so long in his psyche.
“Hey, uh,” he says eventually, turning slightly to look at Henry, “thanks for suggesting this. It was fun.”
“I hope it made up for being stuck in London longer than you wanted,” Henry replies, his voice low and soft.
“Definitely.”
Henry smiles, a warm and pleased one that stretches his lips and crinkles the corners of his eyes, and Alex feels like he’s being pulled in by the magnetism of it. He wants to get closer, despite how close they’re already sitting. His fingers twitch with the urge to touch—the soft blond hair falling over Henry’s forehead, the sharp cut of his cheekbones, the fullness of his lips. He’s always known Henry was objectively good-looking, but Jesus, where does he get off being so pretty? It’s annoying, really.
Alex isn’t trying to make things weird, but he also can’t quite help the way his eyes are drawn inexorably down to those plush lips, still curved in a gentle smile. Who even has lips like that, does he get fillers or something, because they can’t be real, except they look very, very real, Alex hasn’t even ever kissed any girls with lips that nice, that look that soft—
Something short circuits in Alex’s brain and he just— has to know. How soft they really are. Before he even knows what he’s doing, he’s leaning in and pressing his lips to Henry’s, which are, as it turns out, extremely soft. It only lasts for a second before his brain comes back online and he realizes Henry’s frozen stiff, which is fair, because Alex has no fucking clue what he’s doing. He hasn’t kissed a boy since Liam and this was not the fucking boy to just kiss out of nowhere. He’s gonna get, like, locked in the Tower of London or something.
He wrenches away as quickly as he leaned in, meeting Henry’s wide, stunned eyes (—still so so blue, how can they be that blue—), his lips slightly parted and just a little damp from Alex’s.
“Shit,” Alex breathes in a rush. “Fucking shit— I don’t know why I did that, I’m so sorry, Henry, I didn’t mean anything by it—”
“Alex,” Henry murmurs, but Alex is too far gone in his spiral at this point.
“—I promise, it was just— I mean, I’m not even—”
“Alex.”
Alex stops in the middle of a word, his mouth hanging open. Henry’s got some kind of strange look on his face that he can’t parse at all.
“Did it really not mean anything?” he asks slowly.
The thing is, Alex has no idea what it means. Absolutely none. Something inside him—something he doesn’t really understand—wanted to do it, but like, just as an objective experiment. Except that part of him wants to do it again, even though he already got his answer. Really wants Henry to kiss him back. Which is making him feel a little insane.
Alex closes his mouth, licks his lips, and swallows hard.
“That depends,” he says cautiously, “on what you want it to mean.”
For some reason, that makes Henry growl in frustration and cast his eyes to the ceiling. Then he groans, “Christ, Alex, you’re so—”, grabs Alex’s face between both hands, and kisses him soundly.
Alex’s insides go positively molten. Henry’s hands are gripping his jaw, and in his hair, and Alex can’t help but press closer. His own hands find Henry’s narrow waist, reveling in the dip of it, the heat of his body scorching through the thin fabric of his shirt, and the only thing currently occupying Alex’s mind is a desperate urge to feel bare skin under his palms. That is, until Henry slides his tongue along Alex’s lower lip, sucks it into his mouth and tugs on it with his teeth, and Alex stops thinking altogether.
Their positions are a little awkward, twisted toward each other on the couch as they are, and Alex isn’t sure if he pulls or Henry pushes—or maybe both—but a moment later Henry is unfolding his long legs and shifting to straddle Alex’s lap, which is both incredible and incredibly overwhelming. Especially when Henry’s hips rock forward and Alex can feel his growing arousal pressing into the rapidly tightening region of Alex’s pants.
Jesus, this is— it’s— it’s a lot, but the very last thing Alex wants to happen is for it to stop.
He absolutely does not whimper when Henry pulls back, sending Alex unconsciously chasing after his lips. Fortunately, Henry doesn’t go far. He presses their foreheads together, breathing raggedly into the space between them as his thumb swipes across Alex’s cheek.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Henry breathes, and yeah, Alex had no fucking clue.
His mind is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and he has no idea what to say to that besides: “Fuck.”
Henry chuckles softly, nudging their noses together. “Indeed.” He presses a soft kiss to Alex’s lips, then another to the corner of his mouth and one to the edge of his jaw. “Do you want to… go somewhere we won’t be interrupted?” he murmurs into Alex’s ear, and his warm breath combined with the words makes Alex tremble under him.
Alex swallows hard as his hands tighten on Henry’s hips, but he hesitates a moment too long because then Henry is actually pulling back, a concerned expression creasing his brow.
“Which is not to say— we don’t have to do anything more if you don’t want— I just thought—”
“I want to,” Alex blurts, surprising even himself. He’s not entirely sure what more means to Henry, but he knows he wants it. Jesus, does he want. “Yes. Fuck. Let’s do that.”
Henry grins, wide and nearly blinding in its brilliance, and Alex thinks he would do just about anything to see that smile on his face always.
They clamber off the couch, adjusting themselves with shared, knowing giggles, then Henry grabs his hand and tugs Alex through formal, stuffy corridors lined with portraits and antiques, which just adds a certain something to the absurdity of the whole situation. Somehow it’s not a surprise that Henry’s apartments are just as impersonal and opulent as the rest of the palace, full of hideous floral wallpaper and baroque furniture. Before, he’d have put that on Henry himself, but now it feels wrong despite the fact that Alex still barely knows him. It feels like he knows enough. Henry eats curry on the couch and cracks crude jokes and sniffles at the tragic endings of Star Wars movies (yes, Alex noticed). Henry is warm and soft and feels like he belongs in cozy, simple rooms full of old books and tea and cardigans.
Alex’s musings are cut off when Henry pulls him close again at the foot of the hideous gilt monstrosity that is his bed, wrapping his arms around Alex’s waist and tugging him into a lingering kiss. It’s softer than before, delicate and sweet, exactly like Alex would imagine Prince Charming would kiss. From this angle Alex has to tip his head up to kiss him, which is definitely not something he ever thought would do it for him, and yet. Henry’s evening stubble scratches against his chin, and broad hands grip onto his hips and pull him against the hard, flat planes of Henry’s chest, all of it constantly reminding him of the unmistakable masculinity of the person he’s currently making out with.
Alex thinks, distantly, that he should probably be freaking out about this a bit more, but it’s too easy to give himself over it in the moment. He can freak out about what whatever the fuck it means later.
Henry’s hands move to the front of Alex’s shirt, and his nimble fingers make short work of the buttons before pushing it backwards off Alex’s shoulders. His fingers leave trails of fire where they linger against Alex’s bare skin, and even just this has Alex moaning into the kiss, desperate for more. He tugs at Henry’s shirt, yanking the tails out of his pants and nearly tearing the buttons open in his haste, which makes Henry laugh at him, the bastard.
“Eager, are we?” Henry teases, and Alex bites the grin right off his face.
“Shut all the way up,” he huffs before sinking his teeth into the absolutely irresistible collarbone he’s just uncovered.
Henry sucks in a gratifying breath at that, his hands tightening on Alex’s waist, and then he’s manhandling Alex back onto the mattress, which has no business being as hot as it is. Alex kicks off his shoes before scrabbling backwards so that he’s lying against the pillows, his heart racing as Henry crawls up over him with a nearly predatory grin on his face. The way his body fully blankets Alex’s is overwhelming in the best way, making every part of Alex ache with the need to somehow be closer, even as Henry presses the their bodies together from knee to chest and captures Alex’s lips in another deep, probing kiss.
They kiss and kiss until Alex’s lips are almost numb from it, their hands roving over heated skin and through thoroughly mussed hair. Henry’s hips roll slowly against him, almost a question, and Alex groans when he feels the hardness of Henry’s cock pushing against his hip. His own is straining against the front of his trousers, and his breath shudders in his chest when he imagines what it would feel like to have Henry’s hands wrapped around him.
But—
“Hey, uh,” he breathes as Henry’s mouth moves to his neck, and he’s nearly driven to distraction by the feeling of Henry’s teeth scraping lightly over his pulse point, but he wants to get this out, “I’ve never actually—” His voice fails, and Henry pulls back just enough to look him in the eye. Alex swallows. “Done this. With a guy. I mean, kinda, but not really—” He lets out a frustrated huff. “It’s a long story.”
Henry stares at him so intensely and earnestly that Alex feels flayed open by it, like Henry can see all the parts of him that Alex himself didn’t know were there. “We can just do this,” he says as he pushes a curl back from Alex’s forehead. “The last thing I want is to push you into something you’re not comfortable with.”
It’s completely reasonable not to rush things, but Alex thinks if he leaves London without seeing Henry naked he might fucking expire.
“Did I not already fucking say I wanted it?” he retorts, a little testily. Better that than admitting how desperate he really is.
“Well, to be fair, we didn’t exactly specify—”
“I want you naked,” Alex breathes in a rush. “I want your hands on me. Your mouth, if— if that’s something you want.”
Henry’s gaze goes dark and hot, and he actually licks his lips. Alex’s dick twitches in his pants. Jesus Christ.
Henry dips back down to kiss his neck, but a moment later he answers. “That,” he says, pressing it into Alex’s skin as he kisses a path down his chest, “is something I very much want.”
Then Henry’s hands are at his waistband, making short work of his belt and peeling off his underwear and pants in one go, and everything goes very, very hazy after that in the absolute best possible way.
~~~~~
The room is quiet after they subside, after every ounce of pleasure has been wrung from their bodies, after shouted names ease into murmured endearments.
“I should go,” Alex eventually whispers into the stillness, because he should. It would be better if he spent the night in his own rooms. Safer.
He doesn’t want to, though. He doesn’t want to be alone with his thoughts right now, doesn’t want to give his brain the space to run wild with this. That’s what will happen if he goes. He’ll fall into a research spiral on google, and text Nora even though it’s too late, and quietly freak out about everything that’s happened tonight. Here, though, Henry’s got an arm thrown over his waist, and it’s not much, but the weight of it soothes something within him. Keeps him grounded.
Maybe it’s just Henry that settles him. He doesn’t want to think too hard about that.
“You could stay,” Henry murmurs back. He leans in, presses a kiss to the outside of Alex’s shoulder. “No one will notice. Tomorrow’s Sunday. The staff come in late.”
This is a terrible idea. This can’t be… anything, really, given who they are. Alex doesn’t even know what he wants it to be, but he knows that.
“You sure?” Alex asks anyway.
“Stay,” Henry repeats.
So Alex stays.
~~~~~
The bed Alex wakes up in is unfamiliar, which is hardly surprising given his travel schedule lately. What is unexpected is that he’s naked, and there’s a warm, naked body pressed against his back, and abruptly all of what he got up to the previous night comes slamming back into vivid clarity.
He slept with the fucking prince. Henry. His nemesis, except not actually, apparently, and oh yes, definitely also a dude. Alex sucked his dick and most definitely enjoyed the experience, so that’s a whole new thing. The freakout about his sexuality that he shoved to the back of his mind last night rockets to the forefront now, and he can feel his breath stutter in his chest.
Except then Henry’s arm tightens around him and he presses a sleepy kiss to the back of Alex’s shoulder, and the tightness in his chest unclenches somewhat. Not all the way, but enough.
He fumbles for his watch, then jolts up to sitting with a new fear once he sees the time. Jesus Christ, Cash or Amy is going to show up at his bedroom any minute now to pick him up so they can leave, and Alex isn’t fucking there. This is a disaster.
Henry grumbles at being disrupted, sleepily rubbing at his eyes in a way that’s definitely not adorable at all. “Time is it?” he mumbles through a yawn.
“Late,” Alex huffs, briefly getting tangled in the sheets and nearly falling out of the bed in his haste to find his clothing.
He’s halfway into his pants when there’s a knock at Henry’s bedroom door, and he almost falls on his face again. That seems to wake Henry up a bit more, and he finally sits up, his hair standing up in all directions and his eyes gone wide.
“Yes?” Henry calls out.
“The Secret Service seem to have misplaced their charge,” comes Shaan’s voice through the door, and Alex would very much like to die right now. Henry stumbles out of bed, throwing on a robe, then opens the door just enough so that Alex isn’t visible. “I told them I would inquire with you to see if you had any idea of Mr. Claremont-Diaz’s whereabouts.”
There’s something very knowing in Shaan’s tone, like he’s perfectly aware of where Alex spent the night and furthermore none of this is exactly a surprise to him, and Alex only barely manages to hold back the extensive collection of curses crowding at the tip of his tongue. What the actual fuck.
“Ah,” Henry says. His cheeks are bright pink. “Just a moment, I’m sure I can help you locate him.”
“I’m not sure I’ve properly conveyed how agitated they are, sir.”
“Tell them I’m ok,” Alex sighs begrudgingly, stepping into view now that his shirt and pants are on. It’s not like he’s kidding anyone; he’s still barefoot in Henry’s bedroom and the bed that two people clearly slept in is fully visible from where Shaan is standing. “I just—”
Shaan holds up a hand. “Believe me when I say that you do not need to finish that sentence. I will deliver the message, but”—he pauses, glancing between them—“you probably shouldn’t linger.”
He pulls the door closed behind him as he goes and, despite the warning, Alex stands there for a minute, rooted in place and staring at the floor. Maybe Shaan doesn’t want an explanation, but the Secret Service certainly will. Fuck.
“I’m sorry, Alex,” Henry says quietly, suddenly close beside him. Alex hadn’t heard him approach. He still looks so soft and sleep-rumpled, and something tugs at Alex’s chest that absolutely should not be tugging. “I shouldn’t have talked you into staying here.”
Alex huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “I didn’t take much convincing,” he says. “I shoulda just set a fucking alarm.”
“Probably,” Henry agrees, his lips tipping into a wry smile that fades into a look of concern. “Are you… ok?”
“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I be?” he answers, probably a little too quickly. Henry just stares at him in that way that makes Alex feel entirely too seen. “Probably gonna get chewed out for disappearing, but it wouldn’t be the first time.”
“That’s not exactly what I was talking about.”
Alex swallows. “I’m fine.” He offers Henry a little smile. “This was fun.”
“It certainly was,” Henry agrees carefully.
“Where’s your phone? I’ll give you my number, it’ll be easier to plan joint appearances or whatever,” Alex says in a blatant attempt to divert from a discussion about what happened or what this makes them. He’s got to figure his own shit out first. He doesn’t need Henry to know that he’s already wondering when he can arrange his schedule to see him again.
Henry gives him a look, but he fetches his phone and hands it over to Alex with a blank contact page open. Alex types in his number and hands it back.
“I’ll be disappointed if you only use that for booty calls,” he jokes.
Henry sputters out a laugh. “Noted.”
He’s endearingly pink-cheeked and smiling, and Alex doesn’t think before he takes the last step that puts him in Henry’s personal space, grabs the fronts of Henry’s robe, and pulls him into a kiss.
If he’d had any lingering doubts about the previous night, about whether what he’d felt was real or not, this thoroughly dispels them. The press of Henry’s lips to his, the way their mouths slot together as easily as if they’ve been doing this for years, the zip of electricity that fizzles under his skin and spreads out to tingle in the tips of his fingers and toes… Alex has never been kissed like this, has never felt like this being kissed, and it’s exhilarating and terrifying all at once.
Like he’s falling.
Oh. Fuck.
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