#and I laughed so hard I think I physically hurt myself and clicked out immediately.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

"And of course, you'll have training together tomorrow-"

"Can't," Magnus interrupted.

Lucretia blinked. She had come down to the boys' dorm to give them an update on their new training regime After the mess with Taako's relic- the Philosopher's Stone, it was of uttermost importance that they kept in good physical shape. She was already dreading the day she'd have to send them into Wonderland, so extra training couldn't hurt. She wanted to do that last, of course, but they were still searching for the Temporal Chalice and it was better to be safe than sorry.

But the only person in the dorm when she arrived was Magnus. Merle was, apparently, with his kids (Magnus whispered this to her like it was a secret and that Merle himself hadn't shown her the pictures he kept in his wallet). When she asked about Taako, Magnus grimaced and wouldn't elaborate. Lucretia had the feeling it had something to do with the giant burn mark on their floor that had been covered with a towel much too small.

"You... can't," Lucretia repeated.

"Yeah," Magnus said. "I mean, I can! And Merle probably can! But Taako, uhhh, Taako doesn't really wanna... be... around me right now."

Okay. Okay, Lucretia could deal with this. Taako got upset over lots of stupid things. One time, he held a grudge against Magnus for three cycles for taking their last bit of ketchup. Actually, Lucretia was pretty sure that if she hadn't erased that incident from their minds, Taako would still be mad about it. First things first, she needed to get to the root of the problem.

"What exactly happened between you and Taako?" she asked.

Magnus grimaced again, twisting his face up so much that Lucretia almost laughed. But that wouldn't be professional. She was professional.

"Nothing much," Magnus blatantly lied. "It's just, uh, y'know. When you're living in such close quarters with someone for a while, you're gonna fight occasionally."

Oh, did Lucretia know.

"But what was the fight about?" she said.

"Oh y'know..." Magnus repeated. Was he sweating? He looked like he was sweating. "Sometimes you just, uhm. Do things accidentally. And then fuck up your friendship with someone."

"Did you..." Lucretia's nose scrunched up as she thought. Okay, now she was grimacing. "I'm asking this in a professional sense, but did you kiss Taako?"

"What?" Magnus said. "No! What the fuck!"

"See, I thought you hadn't but the way you phrased it-"

"No!" Magnus said. "No, I'm mar- I'm not interested in Taako. Also, T-B-H, Director, Taako is not my type. He's too... spindly. And also intimidating. In the bad way."

"Sure," Lucretia said, like that made any sense to her whatsoever. "So you didn't kiss Taako, but you did something to fuck up your friendship." She tried to think. What could Magnus have possibly done to ruin things bad enough that he thought Taako wouldn't be going to training. "Did you... damn, Magnus, I'm out of ideas."

"I don't think it was that bad," Magnus said. "I just- I like to keep people on their feet! Keep them ready for danger!"

"Of course," Lucretia said, remembering when all four incidents of when she threw her journal at him when he snuck up at her, and the one time she hit him on the head with a inflatable baseball bat.

"So I was gonna do that to Taako while he was laying on the couch," Magnus said. "I think he was sleeping but I'm not sure 'cus I didn't look that hard. But I like, launched myself over the couch and onto the cushion next to him. And, uhm. Something cracked? Snapped? Snapped is a better word."

He glanced over at the burnt part of the floor. The pieces clicked together in Lucretia's mind.

"Oh, shit," she said. "You broke the umbrastaff."

"Not on purpose," Magnus said, voice low and urgent like someone would be listening in on them. Maybe he had been hanging out with Angus too much. "It just- it happened! On accident! And of course, Taako woke up immediately and he was like "what the fuck" but then the staff kind of, uhm. Got really hot? Like burning hot. And obviously, I got off it and there was a... thing that happened. And now we're here."

"A thing," Lucretia repeated, trying to get her voice to stay steady. She tightened her grip on her staff, hoping it would make her less shaky.

"Yeah, uhm, a thing."

"I think it'd be pretty important to mention what the thing was, Magnus."

"Wellllllll, I didn't get a good look at it," Magnus said, now looking anywhere but at her. He was playing with the end of his shirt. Lucretia didn't even have to know him for a hundred years to know that he wasn't telling the complete truth.

"Magnus, if it puts our security at risk-"

"Ehhhh," Magnus said. "It's probably not that big of a deal."

"Magnus."

"If I had to choose someone I have met to say it looks like," Magnus said. "Like, hypothetically, if I had to pick someone. Then I would probably, maybe- just like, a little bit, just a little bit, I would pick the, uh.... the Red Robe?"

"Lup," Lucretia breathed. Had she been in the umbrastaff this whole time? Fuck, why had Lucretia not put that together earlier? She knew the staff ate defeated magic users, Lup must have been bested before she died. Probably while hiding the Gauntlet. She hadn't come back because she hadn't physically been able to. Of course. Of course! Lucretia felt so stupid.

"Who?" Magnus asked.

"Nothing," Lucretia said, straightening up. "Where is she now? The- the Red Robe you saw, I mean."

"She got yeeted out of here pretty fast," Magnus said. "Like, there was a second where she was just kinda standing in the middle of the room, and then she was like "Taako!" and then she kinda fell through the floor and got shot away from the base. Taako looked through the floor window. And then he kinda like, stared at me. And he did that thing where he doesn't say anything but you know he's upset at you-"

"Right, right," Lucretia said, distracted. She had lich wards, duh. But that means Barry might find Lup before Lucretia was able and- gods, Lucretia was only just managing the guilt of Barry knowing what she was doing, but Lup?? Fuck. "Magnus I have to- I gotta go. This is- this is serious. If you see the Red Robe- either of them, if you see either Red Robe, tell me immediately. Do you understand?"

"Oh, for sure," Magnus said, still not looking at her. Lucretia, frankly, didn't care. She turned from the room, speed walking back towards the elevator. And then she remembered why she had come down here in the first place.

"I want the three of you in the gym at nine tomorrow morning!" she called over her shoulder. "No exceptions!"

"Taako's probably not gonna come!" Magnus said.

"No exceptions!" Lucretia repeated.

"He doesn't have a weapon anymore!"

"No exceptions!" Lucretia said once more, jamming the button to open the elevator. She heard Magnus grumble something from behind her, but she kept pressing the button. The sooner she got back to her office, the sooner she could do a scrying spell, and the sooner she could finally find Lup.

[breanime]

Bre’s Boys Picture Preference: Boy Dads

Disclaimer: None of these babies belong to me, they are Instagram babies!

(With a surprise Bonus Boy!)

Billy Russo: Billy never, not in a million years, imagined himself with a family--let alone with a child. Especially after his...accident. Every glance in the mirror was a sharp reminder of Billy’s mistakes, of his failings, of the fact that he was a parentless monster that no one could ever love. And then you came. And he fell in love. He was terrified when he learned you were pregnant, terrified of the awesome responsibility that came with it, and the closer the due date got, the more specific his fears got. Namely, the fear that his child would look at his face and all of the scars that were on it...and be afraid. But he wasn’t. Your son adored his father; his sweet little face would light up in a toothless smile at the sight of Billy’s face. Billy loved having a son; he loved dressing him up in his comfortable little clothes, he loved his son’s high pitched giggle, he loved the way his son held onto his fingers, trying to wobble his way through his first steps, but most of all... He loved that your son wasn’t afraid of him. From day one, the scars on Billy’s face never bothered the baby. In fact, the day he was born, when Billy first held his son, the baby reached up, eyes still closed, and touched Billy’s face. Billy had flinched, sure that the jagged edges of his scars would hurt the freshly created tiny hand, but all his son did was whine and reach out again until Billy leaned forward and let him touch his face again. And then, in that moment...Billy witnessed his baby boy’s first ever smile, and from then on, he was greeted with that smile every time his son saw his face--his reddened, scarred up face--and every time... Billy smiled back, heart full. 

Logan Delos: As far as Logan was concerned, he spawned the most gorgeous baby the world had ever seen. He could stare at your son all day long and never get tired of it. “Look at that face,” he’d gush as your son spit up on him, “That’s the face of an angel!” It got to the point that you wouldn’t even be surprised anymore when you came home to see Logan, dressed to the nines, with a camera in his hands and your son positioned in a basket, posing. Even as a baby, Logan’s son was always camera ready. “Okay,” you said, putting your purse down and coming to stand beside Logan, looking down at your perfect little bundle in his fleece-lined cashmere onesie, “I get that he’s all dressed up for his modeling gig, but why are you wearing a suit?” “He likes when we dress up together,” Logan answered, snapping a pic as he spoke, “We have a ritual, it’s a whole thing.” You laughed, leaning your head on Logan’s shoulder as you looked down at your baby boy. He had his father’s dark, enchanting eyes, and you couldn’t help but smile as he waved a tiny little fist at you. You noticed that he only waved when he knew Logan was in-between clicks. He was as much of a diva as his Dad. “Okay, okay, enough,” you reached into the basket and picked your son up, kissing his soft cheeks, “How is my baby boy? Huh? Did you have a fun day being an Instagram model with Daddy?” Your son answered you with a happy gurgle, reaching over to Logan--to the camera. You and Logan both laughed, and you rolled your eyes. “Seriously?” You asked, looking over at your son. “He wants to see the results,” Logan came over to you, showing you both the camera, “Here, son, I’ve already picked out my top ten favorites, but this one I think will look good with a nice, soft filter.” You watched, laughing, as your son eagerly stretched in your arms to see the pictures. He really was so much like his father. 

Jax Teller: The Teller smirk had to be genetic. Because when you looked at your Old Man, that smirk on his face as he leaned against the doorway, and when you looked at your son--you saw that same smirk. He had Jax’s eyes too, shimmering, crystal eyes that could make anyone melt--even Grandma Gemma. “What?” You deadpanned, frowning at them both. Your son stood almost as tall as Jax’s knees now, and he crossed his arms just like his father did above him. “I know you two are up to something,” you went on, trying and failing to keep your growing smile at bay, “So what? What do you want?” Your son looked up at Jax, and you watched them have a silent conversation with their blue eyes--as they often did. Finally, they both looked back at you. “So, darlin’,” Jax began, “we were thinking...” “I doubt it,” you drawled with a smirk, “but go on.” “And well...” “Me and Dad think you should let us have breakfast for dinner.” You paused, confused. “Let you? Why would I stop you?” In an instant, a matching grin grew on both of your boys’ faces. “See?” Jax said, looking down at your son. “I told you she’d be down for it!” Your son pumped his fist eagerly. “Yes! Pancakes for dinner!” You laughed, getting up and following them into the kitchen. “You know I’m not cooking a whole breakfast by myself, right?” You asked. Jax laughed, coming up behind you to smack your ass just as your son reached out and kissed the back of your hand--charmers, both of them. “I got egg duty,” Jax announced, going to the fridge. “I can make orange juice! Grandma showed me how!” You watched them move around the kitchen, smiling proudly at your two boys. They were so much alike and brought so much joy to your heart. Truly, they were best friends as much as father and son, and you knew, as your baby boy continued to grow, you’d have another SAMCRO member on your hands. But you also knew, as dangerous as that life could be, that he would always be safe and taken care of, as long as you and Jax were alive. And even when you were both gone, you were confident that you were raising a smart, thoughtful young man, and you knew--while he would, of course, make mistakes--that he would always do his best to protect his family and friends. After all, it was in his genes. 

Coco Cruz: You didn’t know how it happened (okay, you did know: sex), but suddenly, you and Letty were outnumbered. You and Coco had three sons, and just like Coco, they had big ass hair. “Who’s hair is this?!” Letty screamed, brushing hair off of the couch. Coco was on the floor with the boys, teaching them how to build a campfire with stuffed animals and pillows. Your youngest son, who was almost a year old, was more interested in throwing the toys around then the pretend campfire, but still. “It’s probably yours,” Coco answered, grabbing the stuffed lion your youngest son had just thrown and handing it back to him. “No, this is the hair of an inconsiderate MAN,” Letty grumped, hands on her hips. “It’s gotta be one of yours,” you added, “no one sits in that spot but you and the boys.” “I like that spot,” your second son said brightly, his perfect face framed by a huge, curly ponytail, “It’s the best vantage point in the whole living room.” “Yeah,” your oldest son replied, nodding, “You can see the whole room and the you can see the window.” “Remember,” Coco said, picking the baby up and bouncing him on his knee, “The best viewpoint is the one where you see everything, but no one sees you.” “Right,” your second oldest nodded, coping his big brother with the gesture, “You’re s’posed to be secreto, yeah?” Letty rolled her eyes at the antics of her brothers. “Yeah, okay--so what about the hair on the couch, huh? Which one of you snipers-in-training didn’t clean up after himself?” “Not me!” The boys and Coco all yelled at once. The baby also screeched out “baaaaaah”, which you took to be a denial of his guilt as well. “I swear,” you sighed, sitting on the loveseat, smiling at your boys, “I’m just gonna sneak into your beds at night and cut off all your hair.” “No!” The boys all cried out--even the baby (”no” was his new favorite word). Coco laughed, looking over at you, “Come on, baby, we’ll do better, won’t we, mijos?” He turned back to the boys, who all met him with wide, innocent eyes and eager nods, making you laugh. Letty laughed too, plopping down on the once-hair infested couch. “I swear, it’s like you four all share the same braincell,” she paused, looking around, “Huh... This actually is a good spot--” her words were interrupted by your second oldest boy chucking a stuffed duck at her. “You gotta be aware of all your surroundings!” “Dude--” she started. “You too, Mami!” Your oldest son added, throwing a pillow at you so hard, you almost fell off of the loveseat. The boys (and Letty) all erupted in laughter, and you fake glared at your boys. Their response was immediate and, of course, in stereo. “My bad!”

Angel Reyes: “This dude here,” Angel grinned, looking down at your son, “Like.. look at him! Why you got so much sauce, man?” He asked. Your son didn’t answer, he was too busy posing and looking cool. You were nearly in tears, you were laughing so hard. The three of you had decided to walk down to Felipe’s shop, and since it was a bit chilly out, you put a hat on your son and suddenly he was just too damn cool. Angel looked down at your baby boy, grinning wide as he watched your son lean against a building, hands in his pockets. “Papi, stop laughing,” your son said, his little voice making your heart melt, “Momma, take a picture of us!” You laughed, taking out your phone, “Okay, papi, stand right there next to Daddy,” you opened the camera app and felt your heart flip in your chest when you saw them through the lens. Your son was purposefully standing with his hands in his pockets, just like Angel was, and as eager as he was for this photo, he couldn’t hide the smile on his little face. You took a couple of pictures (at one point, they stood back to back with their arms crossed), and laughed as you did. Your boys were so full of life, the physical embodiment of joy. Everyday with your husband and your son was a blessing, so full of laughter and love. You knew what Angel’s childhood had been like, how he’d always thought of himself as the ill-favored son, and you knew he made sure his son never felt unwanted. Your baby boy was the prince of the Reyes family; beloved and cherished and treasured (and okay, maybe a wee bit spoiled), and he knew his Daddy loved him more than anything else in his life because Angel told him every single day. You pocketed your phone and watched as your son reached up for Angel’s hand, and the image of your husband’s big, strong hand carefully holding your baby boy’s had your heart clenching. There was nothing more beautiful than seeing the love between your two boys. Your son looked over at you, a smile--that Angel smile--on his round little face, and held out his other hand. “Come on, Momma, Abuelo is old, we can’t make him wait!” You laughed, taking his hand, and kept walking, you and Angel on either side of your son, your little prince. And you couldn’t be happier. 

Miguel Galindo: Miguel had several body guards on hand, a security team, a nanny, and Nestor at his disposal at all times, and yet when it came to buckling your baby boy into the car, only Miguel could do it. “Okay, let’s make sure we’re safe,” Miguel said cheerfully as he strapped your son into his car-seat, pulling at the straps to make sure they were secure, “Daddy isn’t going anywhere until he knows you’re safe.” Your son smiled up at his father, babbling sweetly at him. You sat next to the car-seat, watching Miguel interact with your son. You loved how protective he was of him; Miguel was a man of wealth, and as such, he had his share of enemies, but as time had gone on, and the Galindo businesses stared going legit, the list of enemies got smaller and smaller. Still, you preferred the cautiousness over recklessness, especially when it came to the safety of your family. “What do you think, mijo?” Miguel asked as he got into the car, nodding at the security guard who closed the door behind him. “Should we stop by the ice cream shop on the way home from picking up your brother from school?” Your baby giggled, clapping his hands excitedly at the mention of ice cream, and you and Miguel laughed. “Sounds like a yes,” you said, reaching over to run a finger against your son’s smooth, chubby cheek. Miguel leaned forward for a moment, directing the driver to start moving, before sitting back and smiling over at you and your son. He reached out and smoothed down your son’s hair; it had the same natural curly swoop Miguel’s hair did. “He’s getting big,” he said, “You think it’s time to get a new car-seat?” You smiled, watching as your son reached up and took hold of Miguel’s finger, always happy to be close to his dad. “He’s got another few months in this one,” you answered, “Although it might be time to get a new baby wrap-around. The one you have is starting to get worn out.” “Yeah, that’s cause this one likes to hang off my chest while I work. I’m telling you, he’s gonna be a shrewd businessman, this one!” You both laughed. Miguel adored being close to your son and did everything he could to avoid putting him down. So the head of the Galindo cartel would strap his youngest son to his chest as he handled business and called the shots, because as much of a boss as your husband was, he was powerless when it came to his kids--and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Nick Amaro: It had been a long day for Nick. As much as he loved his job, as much as he loved helping and protecting others, it could be incredibly draining. He’d just closed a case he and the squad had been working for a month, and while justice had been served, and Nick was happy with the results, it had taken a lot out of him. The things he saw, the horrific stories, the disgusting perps--it was a lot. Plus he’d been forced to work long days and long nights, and Nick hated being away from you and the kids. So when he came home early in the morning, fresh off of a 12 hour shift, he was ready to give you and the kids a quick kiss in your beds before going to sleep himself. But when he opened the door to your house, he was greeted with soft Cubano music and the best sound of all--his baby boy’s precious laugh. Immediately, before Nick had even stepped fully through the door, a smile grew on his face. It was early, but apparently the baby was wide awake, which of course meant you were wide awake. Nick walked over to the corner of the couch, where your son was sitting up, wearing his favorite bear bib, and laughing at the sight of his little black shoes. “Don’t tell me you pulled another all-nighter?” Nick asked him as he bent over and picked him up. He was immediately greeted with slobbery kisses and sticky fingers pulling at his ears, but Nick didn’t mind. In fact, he loved it. Just by hearing his son’s laugh and holding him in his arms, Nick’s mood had already improved. “He slept through the night, actually,” you answered from your spot in the kitchen, “Which is why he’s the first one up. Zara had a nightmare, so she’s sleeping in our bed, and I let Gil have a few extra hours on the tablet last night, so he’s knocked out.” Nick nodded, kissing your son right on his adorable little dimple. “And so you woke up to help Mama with breakfast, huh? What a gentleman,” he teased. Your baby boy laughed, and Nick laughed back. His son was always happy, always eager for a cuddle and happy to be held, and he just brought so much joy to Nick’s life. You and the kids were everything to Nick; you were why he did what he did. He wanted to make sure the world was as safe as he could make it for his family, and as he looked down at his grinning baby boy and listened to his sweet laugh, he knew his son would grow up to be good. And that was all Nick could ever hope for. 

Johnny Tuturro: “Me ready!” Your son announced, coming into the living room with his overalls on, toddling towards you and Johnny. You laughed, and Johnny crouched down to be at eye level with his son. “I think you forgot something, man,” he said, affectionately poking him in his cheek. “No I not! Me ready! Me ready for beach!” Your son argued, his dark brown eyes shining with mischief just like your husband’s. “You did a good job with your hair,” you said, ignoring the trail of moisturizing oil, combs, and brushes your baby had left in the hallway when he did his hair, “and you look so cute in your overalls.” “Tank you for helping with the buttons,” he said, giving you that Tuturro smile that had you ready to give him everything he ever wanted. “You’re welcome, baby,” you cooed back. “But we can’t go to the beach till you’re all ready, big man,” Johnny added, he pointed to his son’s teeny tiny little feet, “Shoes.” Your son gasped, slapping his little hands on either side of his face in total shock. He screeched, waddling off to grab a pair of shoes from the rack, and you and Johnny laughed. An expert father, Johnny sat on the floor and let your son plop down into his lap, holding his shoes and socks in his fat little hands. “Help me peas,” he said, looking up at his dad. Johnny bent down and kissed the top of his head, taking the socks and putting them on your son’s feet--a pretty impressive feat seeing as how your son was incapable of not swinging his feet. You leaned against the wall, a smile on your face, as you watched them together. Johnny was telling your son that they’d play in the water until the sun went down, and your son clapped his hands excitedly. They were both beach bums, your son having inherited his love of the water from Johnny. “Okay,” Johnny slipped the first tiny shoe on, “let’s practice our colors. What color is this?” He pointed to the shoes. “Black!” “Good job! How about Mommy’s shoes. What color are those?” “Mommy’s shoes white!” “Yeah, white! What color is the ocean?” “The ocean blue!” He answered, and Johnny rewarded him by picking him up and spinning him around, “That’s right, big man! You’re so smart! Just like your Mommy!” Holding your baby boy with one hand and taking your hand in the other, Johnny grinned, “Okay, let’s go!” You walked into the sunshine with your own two lovable sources of sunshine, all three of you smiling and excited for another perfect day. 

Rio: For you, bathtime was war. Your son was a tiny tyrant, displeased with every part of the procedure. He screamed because the water was too cold, and then when you added hot water to it, he whined at the added heat. He tossed the bath toys you provided him, crying because they weren’t the ones he wanted that night. He splashed at the water angrily, tried of being in the tub, and then when you took him out, he kicked his fat little feet and yelled cause he wanted to play in the water. To be clear, he was a sweet baby most of the time, but bathtime turned him into a little monster. Unless Daddy was bathing him. You stood by the sink, arms crossed, pretending to be offended as you watched Rio bathe your son. Rio was on his knees next to the tub, one hand on your son’s back, steadying him in his little baby tub, the other pushing along a toy boat--that your son had chucked at you in annoyance not five minutes before--and making your son laugh. “Okay, time to rinse off,” Rio said, taking a cup and pouring it over your son, who just giggled at the action, “Yeah, now we’re alllll clean,” Rio sang. You bit back a smile as you watched your husband pick your son up. Your son reached for the tattoo on Rio’s neck and tickled it, making all three of you laugh. Rio sat him down on a towel on the sink, and you leaned in, pressing your nose into the fatness of his neck, sniffing that sweet, clean baby smell on his soft, smooth skin. “God, this is like crack,” you sighed. Rio chuckled as you stepped back, and he covered your son’s head with a fluffy brown towel. “I don’t know why you be telling lies on my son,” he joked, “he was an angel this whole time.” “You’ve seen how he gets when I bathe him! He only likes when you do it, it’s crazy!” You huffed. Rio leaned over and kissed your son’s chubby cheeks a good hundred times, coaxing another round of laughs out of the baby. “That’s cause bathtime is boy’s time,” he said, his voice muffled by your son’s cheeks, “Ain’t that right, son?” Rio stood up and turned to you, kissing your cheek as well. “And bedtime is Mommy time,” he whispered, his voice low, “matter of fact... let’s get this boy in his crib so I can wipe Mommy down and rinse her off...” You laughed at the innuendo...and then hurried to grab your son’s pajamas--bedtime couldn’t come quick enough. 

Bonus Boy 

EZ Reyes: Felipe and Angel both agreed that your son was exactly like EZ was when he was a kid: friendly, inquisitive, adventurous. EZ joked that he was always just a little nerd, but when you watched him with your son, you could see that inquisitive spirit in EZ bursting through. “What do you think,” EZ asked, crouching down next to your son as he patted the bark on a tree at the park, “is this a good tree?” “Good tree!” Your son repeated, looking over at his Dad. EZ smiled, and you could see every woman within a 10 mile radius collectively swoon at the sight of him (the smile, the arms, the EVERYTHING) next to your incredibly adorable baby boy. Hell, even you weren’t immune; you indulged in a quick little swoon yourself. “Papi, tree big!” Your son reported, stepping back and looking up at the tree, his little head reared back. EZ held your son steady with a hand on his little back; EZ’s hand was just about the width of your son’s back. “Yeah, it is,” EZ agreed, nodding, “You know, the older a tree is, the bigger is is. So this is probably a very old tree.” Your son’s jaw dropped, nodding in awe, “Wowwwwwww.” You sat on the bench and watched as your boys walked around the park, examining the various trees and plants. Your son would point to something and look up at EZ, who would start spewing off any and every fact he knew about the object, impressing the hell out of your baby boy. You loved watching them like this; you loved your son’s curious nature, and you were so happy and proud that EZ not only supported it, but helped nurture it as well. As you watched them walk around the park in their own little world, hand in hand, you felt a strong sense of love come over you. This was your family. They were yours, and you were theirs, and you loved them both so much, and they loved you. You put your hand over your stomach, a small smile pulling at your lips as you thought of your little secret. They loved you...and they would love this next little one just as much. 

*******************************************************************************************Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! And if you really enjoyed it and you can send in a tip here, I would greatly appreciate it!

Which one was your favorite? Did you think the kids looked enough like their Daddies? Did you have a favorite part? I wanna knooooow!

Everything Taglist: @sweetybuzz25  @mrsjaxtellerfan  @rhabakoli  @encounterthepast @realduckvader   @justvnash @knowles-morgan  @ateliefloresdaprimavera @evanlys19  @nyxxnoxx @carlaangel86  @luminex3 @jigsawlover10  @gollyderek @otomefromtheheart  @lexxierave  @amethyst09 @falsehopesndreams  @a-dorky-book-keeper @witchygagirl @glimmerglittergirl @fvckthisbxtchup  @ben-c-group-therapy @felicity-x0 @amirra88 @yourfellowangel @vibranium-soul @xserenax-13  @woahitslucyylu  @gemini0410 @ktiz90 @theoceanhathsolace @starrynite7114 @my-rosegold-soul @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @abbiesthings @peaches007 @ifoundmyhappythought @tegggeeee  @bisexual-space-slut @mariaenchanted @thesandbeneathmytoes @sheeshgivemeabreak @queenbeered @sesamepancakes​ @venusis-inretrograde​ @shaelivia​ @breakingnewsin-no-oneasked​ @yourwonkywriter​ @fear-less-write-more​

[kunimikat]

hi! i'm having a hard time mentally lately and i recently found out that i kind of erm,,,,, when my mental health is really bad my brain is like "no!😀" and skyrockets me into absolute baby mode and just want cuddles and love and i feel really lonely and don't talk a lot. bokuto is my comfort character so if you woudlnt mind could you do some headcanons or whatever you want- about him helping? feel free to ignore this i know it's a bit strange💔 but i thought i'd throw it out there :) 💞

I really hope it gets better for you, I hope my shitty HCs somehow makes your day a little better. Lots of love 🥺🤲❤️oh and this might’ve come off more angsty but I promise I put fluff at the end. And listen to this while reading cause it just makes this- 💔🦟🦗🦟🦗❤️

Requests are open! And if you have requests like this I’m happy to do them :)

Also proof read but still might be mistakes.sorry, there might be some triggering things in here, but there is nothing crazy so I think it’s ok 🧍

Before you guys even got together he’d always check up on you.

To the point were he subconsciously did it anywhere, and anytime

He’d give you small owl knickknacks or a snack before school started, or when it ended. Making sure you ate something that day.

Or he’d just try to make you laugh as much as he could during then

But sometimes he’d drop everything, and just give you a tight hug. Anywhere, no matter who it was in front of. Holding you close to him, not saying anything but you could hear him tripping over the words he wanted to say but just couldn’t.

He could tell it was a bad day where you’d come in and just sit on the benches or bleachers with both in mind but staring at the bright fluorescent gym lights. Where you’d just zone out mid-conversation and look at your feet or phone in disinterest. When you’d throw in a sarcastic self-deprecation joke when someone would ask if you’re ok.

Or when you’d have days where you’d stay up studying, doing your homework, and not sleeping for who knows how long when you come in with the energy drink in hand. Or the days when you’d get nothing done, and just sleep everything away and just deal with it the next day.

It didn’t take a therapist or a mastermind to tell you weren’t ok.

The nervous tics, the small lip bites, the impulsive “Let’s do something and think about consequences later!”

Bokuto knew he was just like the latter but at least it wasn’t all the time, so when he saw his bestfriend and crush slowly killing themselves mentally (and maybe physically, he was hoping not), yet cracking jokes about it the next second. All he wanted to do was run in and kiss you until all you felt was loved.

He just wanted to see you happy again

He felt like fainting everytime he saw you giggle or laugh at his antics(knowing Bokuto that has probably happened)

Or when you and Ahgkaaashi would hang out with him at the Owl section of the Zoo and pick out your favorite ones

When you two would try cooking some dish either of you couldn even try pronouncing and it ending in a mess. One he didn’t mind cleaning up when he got to talk to you throughout the whole time.

The times you’d have to turn in your work a little late because you were helping Bokuto cope after losing a game, which he felt bad about but you brushed it off with a genuine smile saying “I can’t leave poor Akaashi with Bokuemo for the rest of the week can I?” “H-Hey!”

When you and Bokuto would hang out in the bird themed cafe on the end of the street from school. And just be yourselves without having to impress anyone.

How you excuse yourself from the group of people you barely knew the names of, to go cry in the bathroom then come back as if nothing happened.

Times where you both forget your in highschool with insecurities, voice cracks, stress, and having to make a decision regarding the rest of your life by the end of it. And just laying in some random parking lot, staring into the blaring street lamp light and the stars behind it.

Bokuto loved it when you didn’t use the jokes to cover up how you felt. Or how you jumped to another subject when he would ask. When you tell him everything you’re feeling.,

The confusion, the way you didn’t know why your mind worked the way it did and why you felt horrible all of a sudden but fine the next.

You wanted it to stop, to have an explanation for the way you think and why. Yet now you’re telling no one, and clearly holding it in. Bokuto was now watching you letyour emotions eat you alive from the inside out.

He just wanted the you he knew. The you that he had so many fun memories with. Not the forced persona you played when you needed a cover up for how you truly felt.

This wasn’t the way he wanted to confess but it was getting all too much for Bokuto to watch,

Bokuto’s tears were streaming down his face as he had you held out in front of him. His body was trembling and his grasp was so shaky it was easy to break away. But you knew you could ever do that to him, or yourself. He clenched his jaw , not being able to lock eyes with you, a painful tug at his heart everytime he locked eyes with your hopeless look. You felt tears brimming your eyes yet you didn’t even know why he sat you down here. But you felt it was your fault, so immediately you let out a ‘Sorry-‘

Instead of an answer Bokuto pulled you toward him, pushing your head into the crook of his neck. You let out a choked noise as surprise, instinctively wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Why...why’re you saying sorry Y/N? I should be saying sorry for not helping you, I-“

Bokuto lost his breath for a second as a silent sob wracked his body, bringing you closer to him. Tears were falling down from your eyes but you could barely feel them as they became a stream.

“Y/N, I love you, I love you so, so much. Why are you doing this to yourself? You know you could come talk to me, I-I’m not the the best therapist but,-“

He let out a shaky breath, pulling you back out to look at you directly. You squeezed his arm that was holding you, reassuring him you felt the same way, but also to go on. Puffy eyes and a tear stained face looked at you sternly. “Please, please don’t keep these feelings to yourself Y/N. It hurts, it hurts me so much when I see you like this. Especially since you feel like you can’t come to me. I-, I-“

Bokuto bit his lip, clenching his eyes tight, forcing the tears that were already threatening to fall out. “I don’t want to see you like this. I love you, I love you.”The only thing lacing his tone is the sincerity in it.

He says it again to make sure you understood every word that came from him. But he didn’t need to. His grip so tight on your arms it almost hurt. But in a way, you didn’t mind it as it showed you how much more serious this was to him.

“You have me, Kaashi, the team, and honestly anyone! We all love you and what you have to say!”

You both give small shaky laughs, despite the situation, the tension slowly melting. He wipes the tears that were flowing down your cheeks, kissing each one after he did. You held each one of his hand. Squeezing them to give yourself courage, and to know this was all too real.

“Bokuto...I’m so sorry to you and everyone else. I- I locked myself away because I thought I would be bothering you and everyone and could just get over it then push the feelings down. But now seeing you...seeing you so much...pain, someone I love hurt because of me. I...I really realize how I was affecting everyone.”

Bokuto tried denying but you shook your head, your eyes that were looking down were now up at him.

“I’ve come to reality especially after seeing you like this Bo, I love you too, and I want to make it up to you this whole week! No, month...year? Whatever. I’ll be better for our future. And you know what, why don’t I help you with that math homework so we’re both gonna get better at something by the end of the week!”

Laugher filled the once cold room with a feeling of warmth that you couldn’t explain. Bokuto leaned in and gave a small peck. You were about to give a small hum in happiness. Until he pulled far back away from you in panic.

“I-Is something wrong Bo? Does my breath stink-“

“N-NONONO NOTHING LIKE THAT. ITS JUST...I just kissed you without asking...a-and I read in a magazine you’re supposed to do that or your crush won’t like you back!”

Silence.

But you interrupted it with your laughter, holding onto to one of his shoulders to not fall over. He had a confused look on his face as he fidgeted, not knowing what to do. “Y-Y/N! What?”

“You’re so stupid Bo,”

And like that you pulled him into a kiss, one he quickly melted into. He made a small surprised noise, but that was the only noise of complaint. The kiss turned into Bokuto giving you pecks all over your face. A giddy feeling in your stomach with each one. Between the kisses you say “Y’know I’m surprised you decided to sit down and read a magazine without testing on the real deal.” His face has a small flush, instead of saying anything he just kisses you aggressively all over, causing you to reel back and laugh harder. He pulls away from the assault and grabs your hand. He leads you over to the couch and hugs you as you both flop onto the couch. You looked at him confused, “Bo?”

But he just turned the TV on, clicked through the channels, until he found one he liked. He looked over at you excitedly, “Let’s cuddle and watch the movie I was talking about last week!”

The genuine excitement in his voice was all it took to have you wrapped around his finger. So now it was getting late and you were falling asleep to Bokuto gently rubbing his hand in circles on your back. And his faint smell of cologne luring you to sleep.

Hey! Sorry if this is on the shorter side, but I tried packing as much emotion as I could into it to make up. I hope you enjoyed this, cause I added a few of my little issues into it so I hope you don’t mind. (Also along with some people ik) I really hope it gets better for you, hopefully by now even though this came out late (sorry really busy this month for some reason🧍) if you need anyone to talk to I’m always open to hear❤️..

[eternalsimp]

Cursed Fears (pt 2)

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Smut

Word Count: 3703

Warnings: NSFW 18+, Aged up Megumi, mentions of violence, character death, swearing, use of female pronouns and anatomy, angst, slight praise kink, oral sex (f. receiving) Minors DNI.

Author Note: This is a sequel but it can be read as a stand-alone. pt 1 is up on my blog and pt 3 will be posted soon.

Megumi’s POV

Everything was dark and the smell of blood was overwhelming. I couldn’t tell where I was exactly, I knew I was in the domain of a special grade but I was sure I had gone home to y/n. Nobara, Yuji, and I had exorcised a second-grade curse and had called it a night. So where did this domain come from? How did I get here? I could swear I could hear thunder crack every now and then, but I can’t even remember if there was a storm when I was here with Yuji and Nobara. Where was Gojo when I needed him? I stumbled through the darkness blindly before I was met with a sight that made my heart drop.

Sukuna sat lazily on his throne, his red eyes trained on me in a predatory glare, sharp nails tapping impatiently on his temple. “It's about time you showed up, I thought I was going to have my fun without you. Now that you’re here, we can continue.” Sukuna’s mouth pulled into a sinister grin as I stared at the limp figure at the foot of his throne.

“Y/n…” her name came out as barely a whisper, my throat felt like it was closing up. She was at home studying for her statistics class, I know she was. I shook my head violently before pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes. This isn’t real.

“What’s wrong little sorcerer? Not feeling so tough anymore are you? You were so confident you could take me on earlier, so come on, take her back. Until you do I may have to play with her a little bit more, show her that she was never safe from me.” Sukuna reached down and pulled her unconscious body up into his lap. He held her jaw with one hand and turned her face so I could see. I wanted to scream at him not to touch her, or to hurt me instead, but nothing came out. Every part of my body was frozen in place at the sight of her tortured body. Sukuna could see me struggling in his domain and smirked down at me. He slowly dragged his mouth up her throat and to the shell of her ear. “Time to wake up princess, our guest is here.” Sukuna squeezed her throat at the same time he nipped her ear and her eyes flew open to immediately fall on me.

“No, please let her go.” The words finally came but I still couldn’t move. She looked so scared, the person I love most is in danger and I couldn’t do anything about it. I forced myself forward a single step but it felt like I was sinking into the ground. Why can’t I move? “I’ll do anything you want, but please don’t hurt her.”

“I told you what I wanted, I told you to come and get her. Show me just how strong you are.” Sukuna taunted. With a firm grip on my girlfriend's jaw and his other hand traveling down her body, Sukuna was in complete control. I know I can’t use cursed energy or shikigami here or I would risk her becoming collateral damage, but I couldn’t stand still and do nothing.

“‘Gumi, help me.” Her voice was shaking, her entire body trembling. I wanted nothing more than to whisk her away to safety. Her eyes squeezed shut as Sukunas mouth attacked her neck and left dark bruises in its wake.

“Time’s running out kid, I’m starting to get bored.” Sukuna’s free hand began to snake over her legs, dragging his razor-sharp nails over the soft skin there, leaving angry red scratches behind. Tears began to fall freely from her eyes and I tried to force myself forward again to no avail. Whimpers and cries for help begin to fall from her lips faster, and god I feel like I’m in hell. All I can do is watch as she cries out in fear, heart cracking at every sound she makes. Finally, she says something that makes me feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest

“You did this to me, this is your fault.” My body felt numb at the sound of her broken words. All I can do is shake my head and beg, beg Sukuna for mercy, and beg her for forgiveness.

“Baby it’ll be okay, you’ll be okay. I’m so sorry.”

“You said you would protect me, why did you do this to me?”

“I’m sorry, I’m gonna get you out of here. Please believe me, my love.” I was on my knees before the king of curses now. So close I could pick up on her perfume that smells sickly sweet of roses, but the smell I adore so much was tainted with something else now.

Sukuna clicked his tongue and shook his head. “You know better than to make promises you can’t keep, right?” My whole body was shaking with fear and rage at the curse, but all I could do was bargain.

“Please, I swear I will do anything, just let her go.” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her, pleading to just see her leave here alive. Sukuna’s nails dug deeper into her throat, drawing blood as it trickled down her neck and chest in small streams.

“I think I’d rather punish you and the brat for trapping me in this vessel. You get to watch as I kill her, and then I’ll switch out with him so he can see what he’s done.” Sukuna leaned down to face me. “This is what happens when self-righteous sorcerers need to learn their place, so don’t blame me for what happens next.”

Fear shot through my entire body at those words. I couldn’t help but scream loudly as Sukuna jerked her head and a loud, sickening crack filled my ears.

I shot straight up in bed as a crack of thunder rumbled through the apartment. My eyes were unfocused as I dragged myself towards the bathroom and a wave of nausea washed over me. I barely made it to the toilet before I was vomiting into it. My knees burned from where they hit the tile but all I can think about was the sound of her whimpers and begs for help ringing in my ears. I was vaguely aware of the shirt sticking to me with sweat as I tried to control my erratic breathing. Thunder cracked again, sounding eerily like the way her neck snapped in my nightmare and I was retching again.

The cycle continued for what felt like hours until I was left coughing and dry heaving. As the panic started to ebb away I noticed the presence of my girlfriend on the floor behind me, running her hands soothingly over my back, and lightly pressing her thumbs into my spine. She had her knees on either side of my waist and was resting her head between my shoulder blades. I reached up to flush the toilet before gently squeezing her knee to let her know I was okay. She wordlessly pulled my sweaty shirt over my head to let the cool air hit my back before lifting herself off of the floor and out of the bathroom.

I shifted my body so I could press my forehead against the hard plastic of the bathtub. After a couple minutes, she handed me a bottle of water and pressed a cold, damp cloth to the back of my neck. “I’m sorry I woke you up,” voice raspy from coughing and throwing up. This wasn’t the first time I had woken her with my nightmares, and I doubt it would be the last. She reclaims her spot on the floor behind me and continues rubbing my back.

“Don’t be sorry, I prefer to be woken up by you going to the bathroom than you throwing up in the bed anyway.” I can’t help but laugh at her teasing and we could both feel the unease begin to fade.

“Yeah, that's a good point. You’re too good to me, you know that?” I moved so that I was leaning back against her chest and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders protectively.

“Nope, I refuse to accept that statement because we are the perfect amount of goodness to each other.” I tilted my head back to rest it on her shoulder before pressing a quick kiss to her neck. I couldn’t help but wonder how I was lucky enough for Nobara to introduce the two of us. It was in the small, intimate moments like these that I knew I would happily go to my grave protecting her.

Reader’s POV

“Okay you know the drill,” you said to him as you held out your hands expectantly. He smiled as he placed both his hands in yours, palm up. You pressed one of his hands to your chest and the other to his so he could feel both of your heartbeats under his fingertips. The first time you did this he scoffed at how cheesy it was, but over the two years of living together, it became common practice for when he was trying to calm down after a nightmare. You didn’t like to press him about the horrors that plagued his dreams, knowing how reserved he was with his emotions, so you found your own ways to comfort him.

“See, we’re both okay. Do you wanna get up to go lay back down or do you need a second?” He shook his head and pulled himself up to sit in front of you again.

“No, I’m okay, but can we do the other thing too?” he asked sheepishly. He turned pleading eyes towards you, and how could you refuse him when he asked so nicely.

“Of course, whatever you need. You or me?”

He took a shuddering breath before whispering “you” so softly you almost didn’t hear it. Your shoulders slumped as that one word told you everything you needed to know. The other practice that became a common occurrence after his chronic nightmares was kissing the other person's phantom injuries. More often than not it was him kissing you, as you were usually the object of his nightmares, like tonight. He liked being able to physically see and feel that the wounds inflicted on you were in fact not real. This nighttime routine often led to some heavy makeout sessions, which then led to very soft and intimate sex.

“Okay baby,” You stand up and move to sit on the side of the bed while he brushes his teeth quickly to get rid of the gross taste in his mouth. While you wait, you find yourself tugging at the bottom of your shorts self-consciously as you shiver in anticipation. After a moment your boyfriend waltzed out of the bathroom and rested his hands on either side of your waist. He bent his head to capture your lips in a slow kiss. His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, silently asking permission to deepen the kiss and you happily oblige him. Your mouths move in a small fight for dominance but a firm hand on your thigh has him easily winning. Your hands trailed up to rest on his shoulders as he took your bottom lip between his teeth and bit down gently.

You gasp softly into his mouth and he brings one hand up to rest at the nape of your neck as he cradles your head protectively. He draws his lips down the side of your jaw, paying special attention to the spot behind your ear that never fails to have you melting into his hands. You tilt your head to give him better access to your throat, allowing him to deliver individual kisses to the spots where you likely had been hurt.

In a swift, fluid motion, he is pulling your tank top off of you and trailing sloppy kisses down your chest and stomach. You lean back onto your elbows as he runs his hands over your thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You let out a shaky breath as he begins to kiss his way up the inside of your legs. “Just relax baby. I’m gonna take care of you.” He punctuated each word with a kiss or nip to the inside of your thighs, and you could feel the arousal pool at the pit of your stomach.

You forced yourself to make eye contact just in time to see a devious smirk grace his features. Before you could question it he is yanking down your shorts and blowing cool air onto your core. You yelp and instinctively try to snap your knees shut. He chuckles lowly to himself before tossing your shorts somewhere behind him. He brings his face back between your thighs to lick a long, hot stripe up your core. You gasp loudly and let your arms give out behind you. He reaches one hand up to where you are clawing at the sheets to intertwine your fingers together.

“My pretty baby is already so worked up and I’ve barely touched you. What a good girl.” He lowers himself back down to lap up the arousal dripping onto your legs before sucking your clit into his mouth. You arch into him and groan loudly which prompts him to hum triumphantly around the bundle of nerves. He moves his free hand down to expertly curl two fingers into you and starts pumping in and out at a steady pace. After a few pumps of his hand, he curls his fingers to find the spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

The combination of his mouth and fingers working you is dizzying and you can feel it pushing you closer to the edge of your climax. He could feel how close you were and began to move with more purpose, determined to make you cum more than once in the night. With the hand that isn’t intertwined with his, you reach down to tangle in his soft hair. “Wait, I- oh shit- I’m gonna cum.”

He removes the hand that was holding yours from you and brings his thumb down to rub circles into your sensitive clit. “Come on baby, I got you. You can cum for me.” He moves his mouth to rejoin his fingers at your slit to bring you closer to your high. A particularly hard press of his thumb has you crying out in pleasure and grinding desperately against his face. He removes his fingers from you and replaces them with his tongue to help you ride out your high. He greedily drinks up your release until you are weakly nudging him away.

“Do you want me to stop?” He looked up at you innocently, which was contradicting when you remembered the things he was doing mere seconds prior.

“No, I just want to feel more of you.” You could feel a hot blush creep up your body at the realization that he was still halfway clothed, while you laid completely naked in front of him. His brain seemed to process this at the same time because he was quickly ridding himself of his sweatpants and grey boxers.

His hard cock thumps softly against his toned stomach when he stood again and you were having a hard time not staring at the man in front of you. He wasn’t bulky, but the muscles that rippled underneath taut skin were nothing to sneeze at. He glanced up and caught your stare, and returned it with a cocky smirk. “See something you like?”

“I sure do,” you flashed an innocent smile as you sat up and palmed his erection. He gasped at your sudden boldness and leaned onto the bed for support. At this proximity, you were able to tug his earlobe between your teeth and bite down gently. “Please baby, I want you so bad.” Those words snap him back into action and he’s crashing his lips against yours again.

He moves you back up the bed and crawls over your body. He braces his forearms on either side of your head and experimentally grinds his hip against yours. You let out a soft “please” that comes out whinier than you intend. You lean your face up to give him a soft kiss before he reaches down to line himself up with you and slowly presses the tip inside. He shallowly thrusts to slowly work into you, mumbling praises against your skin as he moves deeper.

You can’t help but wince at the stretch his cock always brings you, which would border on outright painful if he didn’t feel so good. Your head falls back against the bed, clawing at his back to try to find something to ground yourself. He glances down to where he is buried deep inside you before pressing his forehead to yours. “I know sweetheart, it's almost there. You’re- fuck- doing so good for me,” he reassures as he presses a soothing kiss to your temple.

When he finally bottoms out he stills his hips to let you get comfortable and adjust to him. He takes this opportunity to pepper your face and chest in kisses and returns one of his hands to your neck where it cradles your head. You bring one of your hands to his hair to tug gently before rolling your hips against him, eliciting a breathy moan from him. “You can move baby, I’m okay.”

He nods and gives a couple of slower thrusts before setting a steady pace. He opted for slower deep strokes which made you feel every inch of him as he thrust into you. His thrusts have his cock brushing all the right spots inside you, and all you can do is gasp and moan for him while clinging to his shoulders. “Megumi, please,” you aren’t even sure what you were asking for. The pleasure has your head spinning and unable to make complete thoughts.

You can tell he is getting closer to his own climax because his thrusts are getting progressively faster and he is getting more vocal. “God, baby you’re taking me so well.” He hooks one of your legs around his waist and the new angle lets him hit your sweet spot with every roll of his hips. Your nails dig into his shoulders as you feel another climax approaching, and Megumi picks up his pace again.

“Is my pretty girl gonna cum for me again?” You bury your face into his shoulder and nod. He moves one of his hands to play with your clit to push you over the edge. You arch into him and let out a strangled moan as your orgasm washes over you. You’re sure you’re leaving deep scratches across his back as you grip him tighter. His hips stutter as you clench around him and he gives a few more sloppy thrusts before he’s cumming too with a loud groan. He unconsciously rocks into you lazily as you both come down from your highs.

“Are you okay baby?” He kisses your forehead and strokes your side to try and bring you back to reality. You nod again, not quite trusting your voice yet. He chuckles and slowly pulls out to not overstimulate you. You squirm at the uncomfortable stickiness between your legs but he’s already moving to the bathroom to grab stuff to clean you up.

When he comes back out he runs a warm cloth along the inside of your thighs and quickly over your center, which has you wincing at the sensitivity. When he's done he pulls out a pair of your pajama shorts and one of his loose shirts for you to wear. He helps you slip the clothes on and tugs his boxers back up before climbing back into bed with you.

You stand up to crack open the window next to the bed before laying with your back against his chest. The cool air from the rain seeps into the room and he mutters a “thank you” into your shoulder, surprised that you remember he runs hot for the rest of the night when he has a nightmare.

The clock on the bedside table shows that it's about 5:30 in the morning, so you estimate that he woke up roughly at 4. “Do you feel okay enough to go back to sleep?” You feel him shrug behind you and you scoot closer to him, pulling one of his arms over your waist to lace your fingers together.

“I don’t know. I should but…” you hear his voice trail off and nod in understanding. He always has a hard time falling back asleep on nights like these. He warned you about his chronic nightmares shortly before moving in together and confessed that he’s had them since he started high school at Jujustu Tech. However, you take small comfort in the knowledge that since living together they’ve gotten less frequent, and his reactions to them have become far less violent.

“Will you feel better if one of your shikigami sleeps in here? Just so you know that nothing will happen.” He considers it for a minute before tugging his hand out of yours, circling his other arm around your waist, and folding his hands to summon his divine dog. Its head pokes out of the shadows under the window. You pat the empty spot on the bed and it jumps up excitedly before laying down and letting you scratch behind its ears.

Megumi chuckles behind you and shakes his head. “You just wanted the dog on the bed didn’t you?” He reaches over to ruffle its soft fur as it dozes off.

“Checkmate,” you crane your head to place a kiss on his cheek before settling back against him. “Now will you please try to go back to sleep? I don’t want to nag you but realistically you can’t function on only two hours of sleep.”

“I’ll try but I can’t make any promises you know.” He tucks his chin on top of your head and relaxes around you. You hum in acknowledgment before slowly drifting back to sleep.

[queenofhearts7378]

Constellations Ch. 2

(Yes it finally has a title. Yes this is ending up multi chaptered. Yes there’s another part I’m writing. Yes I already have an outline for a vague plot....Yes I’m still blaming @ladylynse for this XD)

Prev. Chapter  -  Next Chapter

Danny was very much unprepared and underdressed for the time when some wizards fell out of his fireplace.

He paused in the doorway, spoon still in his mouth and cheeks full of cereal, as his brother stood up and brushed the soot off him with a displeased nose scrunch.

Danny swallowed. "And you couldn't just use the door?"

Honestly they're lucky his parents had left to chase down the Box Ghost earlier. Otherwise they'd be covered in a lot more than soot and ash.

Danny couldn't help the snort that escaped at the mental picture of Draco covered in ectoplasm and boiling in rage. 

Draco narrowed his eyes, seeming to pick up that Danny was making fun of him. "Using the Floo was quicker."

"....quicker than walking through the door."

"It's a wizard thing you wouldn't understand." Draco snapped back, his go to response whenever he couldn't argue against Danny's logic at the moment. 

"Uh huh. Anyways what are you doing here?" Danny asked, "You aren't supposed to be here for another two weeks."

Which was time previously planned for Draco to prepare for his summer in America while Danny finished school. Spend the two weeks after Hogwarts let out recuperating and making public appearances with his parents, then spend the rest of the summer with the Fentons.

Actually now that Danny was looking, it seemed Draco had come straight from school. His hair was lacking half its gel, he was still wearing his green tie, and his robes were a very boring black as opposed to the various greys and blues he flaunted around in the previous summer.

“Denebola, pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.” Drawled the man standing behind Draco.

“Hello creepy man that I have never met before,” Danny said, echoing his tone.

Draco choked on air as the discount Kylo Ren sneered at him.

“This is Professor Snape Danny.” A familiar please-don’t-say-anything-that-will-get-us-in-trouble tone coloring Draco’s words. “My godfather.”

Oh the potion guy. Danny remembers Draco talking about him now. He was friends with Draco’s parents, which didn’t really impress Danny that much as all of the Malfoy’s friends seemed to be really rich snobs or really racist. Mostly both.

But he was Draco’s godfather, the reason he got into potions, his favorite professor and someone Draco would willingly go to get advice from. So, Danny decided to reserve judgement till he met him. Well….he met him.

Danny looked Draco dead in the eyes, “My apologies.”

Draco closed his eyes in mortification, which made Danny grin internally. They were really getting the hang of the whole ‘speaking without talking to each other twin thing’. 

Professor Snape just scowled at him. “Where are the….muggles?" Disdain dripped off his words, instantly making Danny defensive. He had heard enough at Malfoy Manor about disgraceful, savage muggles from Lucius. Even Draco had echoed his father till Danny dragged him kicking and screaming into being a slightly decent person.

"My parents," Danny said, stressing the word, "Are working right now."

Okay maybe they were just being their usual trigger happy selves and running after Boxy, but there was no way he was telling Professor Snape that without it leading to an hour long discussion about ghosts. And Danny did not have time for that. He shoved a giant spoonful of cereal in his mouth as he met Professor Snape's eyes and-huh.

Draco never told Danny his godfather could read minds. He could feel the light brushes of a foreign mind attempting to gleam information from his surface thoughts. Danny didn't know if it was his wizard ancestry or halfa weirdness that made him sensitive to this kind of stuff. Either way, it was useful in keeping his secrets in his head from privacy invading school teachers.

Danny glowered at Snape and immediately thought of Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up music video.

The two of them stared at each other for a minute, making Draco more and more anxious as no one said anything.

Finally Snape broke contact, "Where should his things go?"

Danny tried very hard not to smirk after winning that staring contest, "You can just leave them here, we'll get them later."

With one last displeased sneer, Snape turned to Draco. "I'm needed back at Hogwarts. I trust you are in good hands."

Draco nodded, still looking tense and anxious as hell.

Snape walked back to the fireplace. He paused next to Draco, "Take care of yourself Draco."

Draco softened under his glare, "I will Professor. Thank you."

Snape nodded and shot one more glare at Danny, who still had Rick Astley echoing in his head, before vanishing into the fireplace in a swirl of green fire.

Draco turned back to Danny and said, "You stress me out."

Danny snorted before walking back into the kitchen to put his bowl in the sink. Draco followed after him, looking at all the kitchen appliances with a barely hidden curious look.

"Something else we have in common."

"What are you wearing?" He asked with a nose scrunched in displeasure.

Danny shot him a look, "My pajamas, cause I just woke up. I haven't finished getting ready for school. You should probably change too."

"Why?"

Danny started for the stairs, Draco still following at his heels. "You can't wear robes to public school. I think you can fit in my jeans."

"What?!" Draco screeched, halting at the bottom of the stairs, "I'm not going to muggle school with you!"

"It's either that or stay here by yourself for hours." Danny said as he paused outside his room. Draco scrambled up after him. "Cause my parents won't be home for a couple more hours, after which you'll be alone with them till I get home."

Danny smirked at him, "My parents are going to be thrilled to see you, can you really handle their enthusiasm all by yourself?"

Draco could barely stand Danny showing various forms of physical affection, as proven last summer when Danny would throw an arm around Draco's shoulders and almost get hexed. And Ancients forbid Danny try to hug him. Draco might actually lose the wand and just punch him. Danny had spent most of their correspondence over the school year prepping Draco for the Fenton welcome wagon so he wouldn't hiss like a cat when he gets hugged. Okay, and maybe Danny just wanted to see his overdramatic brother's face as he is subjected to his parent's bear hugs. 

Draco scowled at him, "Fine. But I'm not wearing any jeans."

Draco stomped into Danny's room and slammed the door in his face. He heard the lock click as it was shut.

"Hey! I still gotta get dressed!" Danny banged on the door, "C'mon Drake it's still my room!"

Danny groaned before walking over to the bathroom. He phased through the wall and landed on the fire escape. It took a few minutes, but he eventually maneuvered to his window and slipped in.

Draco had dug into Danny's closet and pulled out the most dressy tux Danny owned and was in the middle of putting it on. 

"You are not wearing that."

Draco scowled at him, "It’s bad enough I'm lowering myself by going with you-”

“Lowering yourself?”

“-But,” he said loudly, “I absolutely refuse to wear common muggle wear. If I’m going to this school, I will not look anything less than my absolute best.”

Danny stared at him. “Drake you will be thrown into the dumpster if you wear that to my school. Let me just-”

Danny jumped on him, trying to remove the suit jacket from a struggling Draco. Draco shouted and tried to twist away, only for Danny to pull it over his head. Once Draco was out of sight, and swearing loudly at him, Danny subtly used his intangibility to yank it off him. And if he happened to remove all of Draco’s hair gel that he used to keep his hair slicked back….well, that would have gotten him thrown in a dumpster as well.

Danny tried not to laugh as Draco glared at him, his hair fluffed up and looking vaguely like an angry kitten. 

"Do you know how long it takes me to fix my hair? I have to completely redo it now! And how'd you get that off me?" He pointed at the jacket Danny was throwing back in his closet.

Danny grinned at him, "Magic."

Draco gave him a flat look.

"Anyway we've got to go, otherwise I'm gonna be late again, and get detention again, and you'll be forced to either walk home by yourself or stay at school with me."

Somehow Danny had managed to get dressed and drag Draco out the door with him, texting Sam and Tucker his plans to walk so they could meet up on the way.

"What is that?" Draco leaned over to squint at the phone in Danny's hand.

"My phone. I told you about it last summer."

Draco hummed, "I thought it was broken?"

"Yeah, cause your magic blew it up. My parents fixed it." Danny shoved his phone back in his pocket like Draco was about to blow it up again. "Now what happened?"

Draco shot him a glance, before letting his eyes flicker around them. "I did try to tell you muggle 'technology' and magic doesn't always go together."

"Drake, you know that's not what I mean." He said softly.

Draco was silent, his jaw clenched and his hands shaking before he shoved them in his pockets.

They walked in silence for a while.

"You'll get hurt."

Danny looked at him.

"I…." Draco sighed, "I've never…."

Danny waited silently for him to get the words out on his own, knowing that pushing him will only make him clam up.

"You aren't like us. And I don't mean that in any bad way!" He said quickly when he saw Danny's face. "But you know what my parents are like, and their friends are so much worse, and you're the first person I've ever had to worry about. I just want you to be safe."

Oh Ancients, that was a lot to unpack there. 

Danny had known something had happened during school. The two of them spent the school year exchanging letters, both of them wanting to stay in contact. Danny would tell him about his school, and his parents' antics, and explain random muggle technology to get Draco prepared for his summer with the Fentons.

Meanwhile, Draco had complained at length about Potter and a tournament and Potter being insufferable about a tournament. There was a furious letter about being turned into a ferret and how Potter and his friends keep bringing it up. Draco sent him about three feet of parchment around Christmas just making fun of Potter at a dance and how horrible he was. There was a lot about some famous Quidditch guy and then a lot about Potter’s friend stealing the famous Quidditch guy.

Draco complained about Potter a lot, okay?

But Draco never sent him a letter about the tournament results or if Potter got eaten by a bog witch or whatever it was he was hoping for the last task. He just showed up, two weeks early and clearly shaken about whatever it was that happened.

That isn’t a good sign at all. And Danny had eavesdropped enough last summer to get a decent idea as to what was going on.

“This is….this is about him isn’t it?”

Draco flinched, which was enough answer for him. Danny let out a breath.

“We can-we can talk about this later. I care about you too Drake, and I know your family is neck deep in this mess.” Danny bumped his shoulder, “You’re safe here, that’s why Narcissa sent you here right?”

Draco leaned against his brother’s shoulder, eyes still flitting across the street and his jaw clenched. “Yeah. We’re safe here.”

[jisungsmochi]

rest your love - lee haechan

don’t worry!! i didn’t forget about this series hehe,, i personally really liked this one!! i’m probably going to try and write more often!

anyways pls enjoy,, i’ll link my masterlist for the other parts of this series (nct dream as ‘the vamps’ songs)

word count: 2.2k 

summary: “when the world gets loud, baby you can rest your love on me”

haechan never understood why people liked to be chased. he thought that all he needed to do was ask someone out and boom, a beautiful relationship. until he befriends you, and learns that sometimes people just need a shoulder to lean on, before they can rest their love on someone.

//

I see you move, so I do understand

Why you get attention?

I hear you talk, but I don't comprehend

Why I get no mention?

“it’s physically impossible to dislike me, i’m just a catch” haechan brags while walking to his first college class, his friends, renjun and jaemin trailing behind him.

“just because everyone liked you in high school, doesn’t mean people will in college. it’s a completely different ball game” renjun rolled his eyes at how overly optimistic and delusional his friend was being.

“ah let him live, he’ll find out soon enough” jaemin chuckles softly as he and renjun wave to haechan,  scurrying off to their own lectures.

haechan shrugs, not taking in any of his friends words. he stumbled into the classroom, scanning for an empty seat. he quickly made his way to a spare desk, pulling out all his materials. just as the tutor walked into the room, his eyes met those of, who he believed, was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. you flaunted your way to the last empty seat, which happened to be next to the awfully cheery boy, smiling at you.

you weren’t having the best day, immediately regretting your choice of a desk mate. as soon as you sat down, haechan was a blabbering mess. he shot questions left and right at you, despite the fact you barely responded to any of them. you just assumed he wanted to make friends fast, or he was just a chatterbox. “so how are you doing on this fine day?” he mutters to you, but received a stern glare in response. you tilted your head to the front of the room, zoning in on your tutor. haechan would lie if he said he didn’t feel slightly deflated. usually he had no problem making conversation with strangers. but you were so cold, so uninterested, it really hurt his ego. maybe renjun was right, not everyone would like him. but haechan was an unbelievably stubborn optimist. he was going to befriend you, no matter how long it took.

//

And you know, you know where to find me

Yeah, you know where to go when you're looking for love

And you know, you know where I'm hiding

Yeah, you know

it had been over three weeks since haechan first met you and you still wouldn’t budge. you only spoke to him during group tasks, other than that you continued to ignore his advances. haechan got the message loud and clear that you weren’t going to pay him attention. it took a toll on his own self confidence, until renjun gave him a stern talking to,

“god don’t let her get to your head, dude!! she’s awful for not wanting to be friends with you”

haechan pouted, “but she’s so pretty, i can’t just ignore her”

at that moment, he received a notification on his phone.

y/n: is this haechan? i think you took my notes by accident

his eyes widened, how did you even get his facebook account?

he scrambled around his room, looking into his backpack and surely enough, there were your notes, prettily written up.

haechan: hello! i do have your notes, i can meet you somewhere to hand it back? maybe the cafe? we can get something to eat!

renjun was now peering over haechan’s shoulder, too invested in this interaction.

y/n: no it’s fine, just give it to me next class, thanks

after reading your message, renjun bursted out laughing.

“dude that’s brutal, she’s something else” haechan fiddled with his phone, glaring at the other boy. he clicked on your profile, sending you a friend request as he scrolled through your posts. he saw that your friends had wished you a happy birthday, almost a year ago. he then realised it was in a few days...

“i have the perfect plan to get her to notice me” haechan smirks, renjun rolling his eyes,

“you’re ridiculous”

//

it was a friday afternoon, when haechan stumbled into class. you looked over at him, expecting some type of greeting, but you didn’t hear a peep from the boy.

strange, you thought to yourself.

as you were preparing for the lesson, haechan pulled something out of his bag. you looked over, noticing a small pink box now placed on your side of the table. you raised your eyebrow at him, in which he whispered,

“happy birthday, y/n”

your face froze. how did he know it was your birthday?

you looked back at the small box, slowly moving your hands to open it. to your surprise, there was a red velvet cupcake, decorated with a ton of rainbow sprinkles. there was a tiny picket that said:

“happy birthday, cutie!”

you couldn’t hide your smile, which only made haechan swoon even more. you weren’t the type to make a big deal out of your birthday, but this gesture from haechan truly made your day. you bit your lip softly, eyes meeting his.

“t-thankyou, haechan. i really appreciate this” you smiled at him softly, not caring that you were now on speaking terms with him.

“anything for you, y/n” he cheerfully responded, turning his attention to the front of the room.

maybe lee haechan was worth letting in...

//

the days following, haechan would spam you with random texts throughout the day. initially you would have been annoyed, but after his generous birthday gift, you started to enjoy his company. although you wouldn’t say it to his face, you silently appreciated him.

“how is my beautiful, y/n doing?” he smirked as he walked with you after class. he’d always compliment you, each time making you gush inside.

“i’m alright, have a ton of homework to do though” you sigh, thinking back to the stack of work you had on your desk.

“oh poor thing! do you want to copy my work? i have it here right now i ca-“

“no, haechan, it’s okay. if i need help, i’ll just...call you or something” you paused, looking over at the boy whose eyes just lit up like a christmas tree.

“of course you can call me! call me anytime you want!” he exclaimed. you shake your head softly at him as you both continued walking.

once haechan met up with renjun and jaemin again, he couldn’t stop gushing about you.

“...and then she said i could call her! well she said she’d call me, but same thing” he explained your interaction to his two friends as they were eating at a local diner.

“so romantic” renjun sarcastically comments, causing jaemin to elbow him slightly.

“i think it’s a good step! i mean atleast she’s talking to you now” jaemin chimed in, feeding into his friend’s cheerful nature.

“yeah! i have a lot of hope for us” haechan smiles to himself, in which jaemin and renjun looked over at eachother before rolling their eyes.

you did end up calling haechan that night, as you were stuck on the very last question of the homework.

“y/n, it’s hard to explain, let me just send you my answer” haechan insisted,

“no, i feel guilty” you sigh, placing down your pen.

“it’s really okay, i want to help you” you bit your lip, eventually giving in.

“okay fine, but i’ll owe you something in return” you agree, hoping whatever he wanted wouldn’t be too bad.

“hmmm how about going to the movies with me this weekend? i know you wanted to see the new zombie one that just came out” he suggested. although you were shocked he was practically asking you on a date, were more shocked he remembered you talking about this movie.

“do you really think that is proportionate to what you’re doing for me?” you roll your eyes playfully, finding his advances quite endearing.

“yep!! take it or leave it” you hesitated for a moment, what’s the worst that could happen?

“okay fine, you have yourself a deal” you replied. haechan quickly put himself on mute (or so he thought), letting out a loud ‘YES!’, before returning to the call. you had heard everything, softly chuckling to yourself.

he was pretty cute.

//

That when the stars go out, you can rest your love on me

And when the world gets loud, baby, you can rest your love on me

“that ending was terrible” you pouted as you left the cinema with haechan.

“it wasn’t so bad, it could have been worse” he shrugged, leading you to the next location.

“hm i guess so, by the way, where are we going anyway?” you questioned, walking alongside him, observing your surroundings.

“this cool burger place i found online, here i’ll show you some photos” he pulled out his phone, swiping through the photos. you nodded along, agreeing to let him lead the way.

“y/n? is that you?” you heard a deep voice call, you head shot up, so did haechan’s.

“who’s that?” your mouth went dry. your body froze up. why was he here? why did he have to call out to you?

“oh my god it is you! long time no see” the mysterious boy approached the pair of you, completely disregarding haechan’s existence. he noticed how uncomfortable you were, eyes flickering between the boy and you. he placed his arm loosely around your back, the other boy’s eyes following in suit.

“oh i see, you’re dating someone. dang, i guess i missed my shot. he doesn’t seem like your type” the boy scoffed, arms folded as he stared you both down.

“w-we have to go” you finally bring yourself to mutter, pulling haechan along with you.

“y/n who was that?” haechan kept repeating, which only made you want to cry.

“he’s my ex, okay? just take me home” you sniffled, haechan immediately became concerned. he didn’t ask any further questions, driving you straight back to your place.

as he reached your house, he looked over at you, tears brimming your eyes.

“i-i’m sorry that our day was cut short. i was really enjoying myself. my ex and i ended on pretty bad terms and i would just like some time alone right now, i hope you understand” you sniffled, which made haechan’s heart ache.

“you don’t have to apologise. you know where to find me if you need me. i’ll be waiting for you to open up to me one day, y/n. however long it takes” he assures you, leaving you with a warm feeling in your stomach. you just nodded back at him, making your way into your house.

haechan sat in his car for a while, wishing he could take away all your pain.

//

you invited haechan to meet you at the local park. with no further questions, he rushed out of his room, eager to see you again. you waited patiently on the small bench, swinging your legs back and forth. you heard heavy footsteps approach, your eyes meeting those of the boy who radiated happiness.

“are you alright?” haechan starts as he takes a seat next to you, leaving a small gap between you both.

“y-yeah, i’m ready to tell you everything” you began,

“he and i ‘dated’ two years ago. i say ‘dated’ because well, i thought we were, but turns out he was just another player and i was just another pawn in his little game. it was my first relationship too, messed me up pretty bad. that’s why i tend to keep to myself, not really letting others in too much. he made me feel like every guy who gave me attention just wanted me for their own selfish needs” you sigh, eyes avoiding haechan’s. he wanted to hold your hand, but opted not to.

“he’s an asshole, you didn’t deserve that. i-i could treat you so much better i promise-“

“haechan, c-can we just slow things down?” you finally made eye contact with him, his face contorting into a confused expression.

“i know you like me, and i would be lying if i said i didn’t have a slight interest in you too. but i don’t think i’m ready for a relationship yet” you admit, worried for his reaction. but to your surprise, he didn’t feel sad or dejected at all. instead he smiled widely at you, leaning in closer.

“i’ll go as slow as you want. you can rest your love on me, whenever you need. i’m just glad to hear you like me too” he batted his eyelids, making you softly chuckle.

“thankyou” you whispered to him, moving closer so that your shoulders touched. the rest of the day was filled with random activities from the arcade, to a bike ride along the park’s trail and finally dinner. haechan came to realise that being with somebody wasn’t black and white. there was a grey area that lied in between. he didn’t care how long he needed to wait, all he knew was that he finally got you to like him. and that was enough to make him the happiest man alive.

[vannyvancan]

"mr assassin" Roommate!Shinsou Hitoshi X F!Reader Part 2

Part 2 of your Roommate/Assassin!Shinsou is here! First of all I wanna thank y'all for liking the first part so much! In this part we go deeper in darker theme of it, so just a fair warning.

my masterlist. Hope you have a great day and happy reading!

Tw for : Assassin!Shinsou theme, female reader,  gun usage, slight insecurity, NSFW for the most part on the later chapters, drug usage, corrupt government talk, harrasment

Day five of living with your new roommate. He hadn't shown much of an interest in harming you...

That was swell.

You huffed out a breath of relaxation when the realization hit, but not also that, things weren't as bad as you expected! The thought you'd get a nasty roommate who would leave much more bigger mess than you was on the mind... but he seems to be the one who cleans as well? A welcome surprise indeed.

Shinsou was an enigma, waking up early at five am, neatly sorting his clothing and coming back late at 11 pm, he didn't seem restless, which could only mean he probably has a second accommodation where he rests and eats as well. It also explains why he only had one bag with him which you had decency and never saw what was inside. Besides...

He had given you a glare yesterday when you stared at it for long with those white pupils of his.

Even though he was soft spoken, he always managed to find a way to poke fun at you before he left. Granted, you were quiet surprised when he made you a french toast every morning! He barely knows you, but you were grateful to have found a roommate that in one way or another showed his gratitude. Afterwards, you felt obligation to one up him and return the favour. Now dragging your dear friend out, you giggled at the phone text from Uraraka as she immediately started spewing jokes about your potential 'future' with him.

„What an idiot.“ You grinned to yourself, walking down the street to the meeting place, you were about to go shopping with her, you still had to supply yourself with comfortable winter clothing.

„Y/N!“ Uraraka's voice reached your ears.

„Hey! Long time no see!“

„Very long time indeed!“

Uraraka rushed her step to give you the biggest hug there was. She was the sweetest friend and was always there for you no matter the circumstances. Now both of you dragging yourselves in the clothing store

„You just got off from work right? How was it?“ She asked, looking at time, it was now 5 pm.

„Tiring, its even worse because they fired colleagues before summer so now all of us have extra hour of work.“

„Oh no. But at least you will be rewarded more no? More hours equal more pay.“

„Nope, it's the same job in the end, they just extended work time.“ Frowning at the work contract on the mind, it was a very high chance it will drastically change soon as well.

„It's very... bad.“ You nervously laughed as you walked together.

„One time they fired someone from storage, only to replace them with boss's relative. By law its forbidden, but they made up a name for the new position that does the same job in storage. So it seems valid, but its not.“

„Ah... it happened here as well, but uhm.“ Uraraka started

„Hmm?“

„There's been some disappearances from our parent company, we are having a bit of a rescheduling on our own as well.“ Uraraka nervously chuckled and scratched the back of her head, it was quiet obvious there's been some action going on on her end as well.

„But enough about that, how's Shinsou~?“ She teasingly leaned in and poked her pink cheek.

Your mind shifted to the now roommate, the intimidating figure had you stuttering for a second. Obviously, Uraraka shouldn't of hung out with Mina so often back in college days, because it was so obvious she wanted to pull out some flustering on your end as well. Her curiosity especially hit the peak since she heard your voice hit higher notes when talking about him.

„I-I.. U-um. Okay, fuck! I can't!“ Both of the palms now covered your face to hide the embarrassment.

„Ahah! Is he that hot? You didn't react like that for so long!“

„Shut up!“ You huff out „It's enough that he made a toast for me yesterday, now I don't know how to return the favor. I want to get close to him, but he's unapproachable.“

The brunette put a finger on her lower lip in deep thought.

„Maybe if he's so busy, you can make him little lunches in a box, since he's so busy.“

„Uraraka, that's so childish.“

„It's not! You have to show him your soft side! Poke around, maybe he likes it.“

„My soft side?“

Grimacing as she advised, you were afraid of getting your feelings hurt. Now hesitantly picking up shirts and pants from the shopping stand, you managed to pick decent clothing for the upcoming winter before the prices skyrocket, it was expensive already but you managed to find something cheap. Your eyes trailed to find a plain white scarf, it was really nice quality, and rather cheap, but the sudden thoughts redirected to Shinsou as fingers tried out the material.

Maybe its not a bad idea to try and open up, you'll try but there should be equal effort on his end as well. Now snatching the scarf from the stand, you both bought your things and left the store, suddenly being nudged on the shoulder by the pink cheeked individual, you let out a relieved laughter while walking home for today.

...

„No, no! Please, Spare me!“

„I'm afraid job's a job.“

„No, please! My wife-!“

-SNAP-

„... Operation successful, returning to the main area. Prepare for body disposal.“

„Roger that Mindjack.“

On the broad daylight, Shinsou had eliminated yet another target for today, this time it was a business man whose life spiraled down in gambling addiction, the man who had hired him said he owned too much and knew too much to be kept alive.

Drugs and gambling went hand in hand, it was no different that the client probably had some shady stuff going on on their end as well. Shinsou had to keep his eye open on this one as well.

„Dispatched him quickly?“ Shoto came by side to Shinsou while adjusting dark gloves on.

„Yeah.“

„Good. Let me help you up.“

Several moments later, a truck came by to pick the dead body up, Kirishima's disguise as a trash driver made both of them cringe for a moment, but quickly brushed it off as Shoto and Shinsou threw it away. The cleanup crew should get rid of their traces now, all he has to do is get away as fast as possible from here. Shoto and Shinsou entered in the truck and drove in silence.

„You blocked the spot quiet nicely Shoto! Made a nice clearing for Shinsou to execute.“ Kirishima praised

„I merely blocked the parking lot. I don't see it being worth a mention.“

„Man, but missions like these always for newbies rely on stalking and timing. And this was perfect.“

„Nothing is perfect in this line of business.“ Shinsou ripped off his gloves and cracked his own neck to relieve tension. „Karma will hit you back hard if you don't know what you are doing.“

„Yeah yeah, it isn't very manly if you're in it just for cash, I mean... I'm rooting for justice and y'all, don't go thinking I am blind to what you guys are doing.“

Shoto and Shinsou fell silent. It was hard to swallow the truth, the car ride to the safe house wasn't long, soon Kirishima hit the brakes and came to a stop to the small abandoned storage house on the outskirts of the city. Shoto jumped out to take care of the body while Shinsou assisted with it, after they were done, Kirishima checked the contract for the job well done and handed the payment. A block of dollar bills now in their hands, the digital transfer of money would raise eyebrows in eyes of banks, so the money transfer was best if it was physical.

„Here you go boys! Boss says that the next contract is gonna be handed out tomorrow, you are free for the rest of the evening.“

„Tomorrow already?“ Shinsou asks.

„Yeah, what did you mean with that question?“

„I was thinking of looking into the client of the previous contract. Do some research and possibly eliminating him.“

Kirishima clicked with his tongue while Shoto huffed out and fiddled with the block of money in his hands.

„Sorry man. Solo contracts wont get you money, and gateways like us wont help you since we put too much at stake. You are on your own if you are gonna kill someone who is off the list.“ Kirishima explained

„Why would you even do it?“ Shoto asked, „Its not like the guy did you anything bad.“

Before Shinsou could answer Kirishima pat his back two times before turning on his heel to store his equipment away and head home himself for today.

„Mindjack has always been like that, even before you started working with. He sorta goes off on his own at times, seeking who needs killin' and who doesn't. That's why we hired you Shoto.“

„Can't blame me for doing what I think its right.“ Shinsou lowered his head, „All I need is time, That's why I was taken aback when a new contract was announced for tomorrow.“

„Alright alright, Mr. Assassin. You'll get your time. Someday. For now, this handsome manly man is going to go home for tonight! I'm going to get myself some hot bath.“

„See you Red. I'll be going too, Goodnight Mindjack.“

The departure was short, Shinsou took his bag and changed clothes before heading back, the bad smell could of easily rub off on him and he didn't want you to start speculating things. Even though he mostly ends his victim's lives in a way where no blood can be shed, it was a close call when she started eyeing the bag yesterday. He hated it, but he had already planned out way's to kill the roommate he was living with for any situation if she found out his true work.

'I don't need any of you to help me in my solo hunt.' He thought to himself, putting his black leather jacket on and helmet, he checked out his surroundings before revving up his bike and driving away.

The evening was busy as people were going back from work, it was 6 pm after all and he was stressing out on the fact that he will have to see his roommate. Maybe he could take a spin? Or start investigating on his own, but he didn't have time, he needed it. Rumbling of the bike eased tension he had from the committed crime, but only barely. As he came to a red light he slowed down and realized he was shaking badly, he knew it was not only from the setting sun and chilling air slowly creeping in, but also of stress. The realization that he might get caught always hit him harder after it settled in his mind. He inhaled deeply and eyed the nearby passengers. His eyes land on a woman in distance he never thought he would run into.

It was you, and you have been on your way to the flat with things you've gotten. The fact you saved up on the flat made you relax and indulge in the little shopping spree with Uraraka and groceries. You smiled from ear to ear nevertheless the tiredness creeping on you from the day.

„Mm...“ You sighed and rolled your shoulders.

„Maybe I'll make the thing she told me.“

You honestly looked like a happy child after realizing now that you have a roommate who pays for half of the expenses, you have extra cash to buy for things and make food at home. It wasn't a big deal to go out and buy something since it was cheap to buy a box of instant meal, but you wanted to cook your own food for a long time now. As you looked in the grocery bag and already beginning to think of the recipe you'd think for it, you suddenly bumped onto a stranger who didn't quiet follow his surroundings either. The harsh impact almost made you fall behind flat on your backside, but you managed to find balance. 'How rude-!' you thought.

„Ah-! S-sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you sir-„

„Watch where you are stepping wench-! I swear, women like you need to fucking know their place and stay at home.“

Excuse me?

Since when did this idiot have any right to find you to get his frustrations out?

You frowned at his sentence, knowing better not to engage with a random incel on the streets at evening hours, whose breath reeked of beer and bad hygiene, you decided to clutch your bags and pass by him hurriedly.

„Don't fucking ignore me!“

„Hey! Let me go!“

The man captures your wrist harshly and doesn't let go, now pulling you towards himself, he makes your belongings and your body stumble forward. His other hand wrap around your waist and starts dragging you along with him. Trying to shake yourself away only resulted in him recapturing you. He started laughing and you only now realize he quiet probably meant to bump into you.

He was trying to kidnap you-

„I said you are a bitch! Now you'll know your place-!“

„Let me go!“

Closing your eyes, the strong grip bruised your wrist and you yelped in pain, Your eyes veiled with tears as his disgusting sweaty hands found their way on your thighs to try and attempt to carry you, but the hold that was on you was suddenly broken free and a strong impact of a punch made the man fall flat on the ground. You were quiet sure you heard something broke as well.

„Agh! Son of a-!“

The adrenaline spiked in your veins and you immediately snapped out of it to see what was going on. Another hand rested on you almost protectively, you raised head to see a dark dressed figure that was very familiar. You were quiet shocked to find Shinsou held you close to his chest, wasn't he supposed to work until very late? You hear his quickened heartbeat and deep breathing as he gazed into the eyes of an attacker. Clutching onto him, you immediately felt more sorry for the drunken individual that had attacked you. Hooded eyes with dark eye bags were visible with blood rush, he stared down at his victim like a prey.

„I honestly can't believe how uncool you are, attacking a woman.“ He tilted his head on the side „Piss off before I do anything worse.“

The drunkard scrambled to his feet, he held onto his nose, groaning in pain inflicted by just his one punch.

„You fucker-! You broke my fucking nose!“

He charged again at Shinsou and you. This time, Shinsou quickly dispatched him by a high kick in his stomach, stealing all the air from his lungs. He hunched over and fell flat face forward, deeming him now unconscious. Your mouth went agape at his form, even though there were no visible passerby's, the drivers could certainly call police and at any moment and both of you would get caught.

„Shinsou!“ You panicked, finally reacting at the scene.

„Come on, lets get the hell out from here. He's bad news.“ He pat your shoulders and helped you scramble the bags that were on the ground.

He led you to climb on his bike that you were quiet hesitant to get on at first, he didn't let you get acquainted as the time was limited and you let out a noise of protest at first.

„We have no time, grab onto me.“ He revved up his bike and it rumbled.

„You just gonna escape like that!?“ You asked „What gives he's not gonna blame it on us? The police-“

„Police is not going to do shit.“ He glared at you „Unless you want to call them right now and deal with this sort of mess on Thursday evening, be my guest.“

You whined again, thinking thoroughly on his words you knew he was right so you followed his orders. If anything Shinsou was a witness if both of you ever end up getting caught. Holding onto the bags in your hand, you decided it was a better option to leave. Now climbing on you adjusted yourself in back of seat, the view in front of you were of his back, now starting to get illuminated by the street lights. He smelled nice, despite it being closed off by the leather jacket, his vibrant purple hair was flattened by the helmet, and you couldn't shake off the thought that you were about to hold him. You let your left hand slip around his stomach while your right one grips his shoulder.

Fuck, he was solid.

The gas made you back up a bit and grip on him tighter as he violently sped forwards to escape the scene. You hid your face in his back and held onto dear life. You weren't acquainted with bike's, most of your life was spent driving in cars and public transport, but you were quiet thankful to have him tell you when to lean on sides as you took turns.

„Just like riding a bicycle“ He claimed.

You relaxed after he talked more about it, there was something about him being calm in this situation made you very thankful. If he hadn't shown up...

Well, you wouldn't like to think about it.

He slowed down and stopped as the lights turned orange, then red, he took this opportunity to check on you. Shinsou leaned back and turned to you.

„You okay?“

„Y-yeah, still a bit shaken up about it. I... think I'll be fine. What about you?“

„I'm good.“ He replied shortly, his curt expression not giving anything else away.

In his mind, there wasn't anything he could do to help, the thought of comforting a victim was very alien to him. He could manage dispatching the person quickly, but he would rather much leave a therapy session to others. There was something about how he emotionally closed off himself that helped him do what he was working for, but it was never in favor when someone needed emotional support, like you right now.

His thought process was interrupted by a white scarf now gently falling around his neck.

„Your facial expression doesn't quiet match your body language Mr. Shinsou. Here, have this, your body is shaking.“

„What is this?“ He asked, tenderly reaching for the soft white fabric and letting the warmth of it settle around his neck.

„Its a scarf... I was planning on giving it to you. You are a good roommate to me.“

His eyes lit up at the realization, his knee was thumping up and down in nervousness from what he had been overthinking about, whats wrong with this woman? Is she going to be the one giving him the therapy session? He better not go soft now. The light turned green and you took a last turn to your place and he parked nearby. Both of you got off and he helped you by giving you a hand and with the bags.

„You didn't have to.“

„That's not true, I had to! I know work's probably putting a lot of strain on you just like mine is, and I know you mean only well, hell, you've been cooking an extra toast just for me.. and now you saved me.“

Both of you came to a stop as you entered the building. You sighed a little bit as words of gratitude escaped you

„And I just want to say.. Thank you."

Wide eyed like a kitten, he seemed so innocent if he didn't act so suspicions all the time. But this time you were so happy on seeing your roommate warming up to you. He was speechless for a solid second, he raised the scarf just a little bit to hide his mouth and nose.

Was he blushing?

"You really think that huh?" He asks, it was a simple question, but it got you stuttering madly and you looked onward, taking big steps as suddenly your flat was the lifeline of a place to be in right now. Shinsou himself didn't want to admit it but looking at you being cheerful after the events set his mind at ease.

"O-of course! A-and don't think that that you are ever a bad person, whoever is telling you bad things at work... They are wrong, because you are actually a really nice person... I think." You said without looking back.

„Now you are just sprouting nonsense.“ He chuckled and followed closely behind.

„Come on! I'm gonna cook us dinner. We are gonna feast.“

[violetarks]

Let Her In

Anime: My Hero Academia

Character: Bakugou Katsuki

Summary: After nine months of nothing, one of the two finally muster up the courage to speak to the other. But it's not what they were hoping to be said first.

Song: Let Me Love The Lonely — James Arthur

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Bakugou walked behind Kaminari and Kirishima, staring at the familiar halls he hadn't walked in for months.

Having to go to Mina's party was totally Kaminari's idea, saying it would be great getting the whole squad back together. Kirishima said that Bakugou didn't have to go and that he'd send his wishes along. But Bakugou agreed. He knee Y/N would be there.

Once they came towards Mina and Jirou's door, Bakuhou stared over his shoulder at the door numbered 29F. It was great having its key in his pile. That access to Y/N almost everyday. But having to give it back hurt more than anything.

He was hoping she'd come out of her door, maybe say 'hi' and ask how they were. Just anything to finally see her again.

"You guys made it!" Mina shouted excitedly, wrapping her arms around Kaminari and Kirishima's necks to pull them in for a hug, "I was worried you'd bail out last minute!"

Kaminari hugged her back with a scoff, "Wow, I can't believe you think of me as a flaker." He pulled away and placed his hand to his chest. "I'm wounded, dearest Mina, truly wounded."

Mina giggled with the two before glancing at Bakugou, who was turning his head from Y/N's apartment door. She stopped before walking towards him. She looked a bit conflicted before holding out a fist.

"It's nice to see you, Bakugou." She said quieter, other hand behind her back, "It's been too long."

The last time she saw him was during that night all those months ago. The shouting had stopped and Jirou and Mina got worried. They'd never attack each other physically. They knew that.

But they opened their door, standing in the doorway for several moments. They heard hushed words and such, meaning that Bakugou and Y/N were now talking normally. Bakugou closed the door behind him and met face to face with Mina and Jirou.

The girls looked a little worried. Bakugou gulped before letting go of the door handle. He asked the two girls to look after Y/N. That's when they knew something was going on. The next day, they went over and Y/N confirmed it, crying in her living room.

"Right." Bakugou said, pressing his fist against hers.

She smiled before walking into the apartment, dragging the boys in with her. "Well, feel free to hang out! All of our UA class is in here." She stated, gesturing to their past classmates, "Please don't start any fights, Bakugou. Midoriya just wants to catch up with everyone."

Bakugou rolled his eyes as Mina went with Kaminari to greet Jirou again. He was left with Kirishima, who was passing him a can of some drink. He popped it open and leaned against the wall with Kirishima. He was scanning the room.

"You gonna' talk to her?" Kirishima asked, staring down at the silver top.

"Why should I?" Bakugou replied, sipping his drink again. He looked away from him. "It's been so fucking long, what would I say?"

Kirishima shook his head and tilted it to the left. "You guys don't have to start from scratch." He reminded Bakugou, twirling the soda he had, "You have known Y/N for ages, she's still the same person."

"You don't know that." Bakugou scowled, rolling his eyes at Kirishima.

"Then you should find out." Kirishima huffed back, standing up straighter and placing his drink down on a nearby table. "She's over there. With Sero, Tsu and Todoroki."

Bakugou nearly choked on his drink when he looked in the direction he pointed at. There Y/N was, in a beautiful dress he hadn't seen before, laughing at something Sero said. But it was different.

She wasn't laughing like she normally would. By the face she was making, Bakugou could tell that she had heard that joke Sero was saying all before. She was being polite, trying to fit in.

Bakugou would be doing that as well, if Kaminari and Kirishima's jokes weren't utter shit.

The look Y/N made when she stared down at her drink. That's the face she makes when she feels alone. Or that she was misplaced.

Fuck, did he feel like that too.

Bakugou clenched his can before Kirishima warned him not to blow anything up. He placed the drink down on the table before stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"You should go talk to her." Kirishima offered, shrugging his shoeuldsrs like it was literally nothing, "I'm sure she'll hear you out."

Bakugou took a step forward towards Y/N. But his leg jerked back. He didn't want to, or he just couldn't do it. No matter how much he wanted to hold her close to him, his mind made him stop.

Where was her ring?

"I need to piss." He said, walking off and ignoring Kirishima's calls to stop.

He locked himself in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror and glaring at himself in the reflection. His eyes flicked everywhere and he couldn't think straight.

Maybe he was wrong, Y/N was wearing her ring. She said she'd wait and she would. Y/N said no matter what, that she would be here for Bakugou and always love him.

She got tired of waiting, didn't she?

"Excuse me?" A voice called out from the other side of the door, "Is anyone in there?"

Bakugou quickly inhaled, wiping his face and trying to get himself into the right mindset. He couldn't talk to Y/N if he was a mess like this.

He opened the door to be met with Shoji, who looked back at him curiously. "Are you okay, Bakugou?" He asks through one of his tentacles.

Bakugou clicked his tongue, moving around the taller man. "Of fucking course, leave me alone." He said sourly, making Shoji sigh and walk into the bathroom.

As Bakugou walked down the hall into the area everyone was in, he immediately noticed the H/C-haired girl walking towards the door, waving at two of their past classmates.

She was leaving the apartment. Why? Why was she leaving?

All Bakugou knew was that he was now following her to the door that she just shut.

As his fingers grazed the handle, his wrist was tugged back by someone else. Bakugou blinked before looking at the person.

"Don't hurt her." Jirou said lowly, glaring at Bakugou. She tightened his grip on his wrist. "She worked hard to get better. If you so much as make her scared, I will not hesitate to kick you out of this complex myself."

Unlike Mina, Jirou wasn't as forgiving. Jirou was the first to realise that Y/N was definitely not okay, and she had stuck around with Mina long enough to find out how much he meant to her.

Jirou discouraged wearing the ring.

She told Y/N that she needed to get her mind off of him, give it some time to overthink it all. Y/N had said she wanted to keep it on to remember his promise to come back. She was always optimistic about him.

Jirou would sit next to her as she watched Bakugou's newest villain bust on the news. She noticed how Y/N furrowed her brows and leaned into her pillow as Bakugou talked with the interviewer. She'll admit, Bakugou seemed more intense and snappy. Maybe that's why Y/N got worried.

He was changing. And so was his attitude.

Bakugou squinted at Jirou. "I need to talk to her." He stated, voice still gruff.

"I know. I know, Bakugou." She replied, holding her breath for a second. She let go of his wrist. "But you need to understand that she's suffered so much. All these months and she still checks the news to see what you're up to. I don't know if this is what she needs right now."

Bakugou bit his lip. He then stood up straight, opening the door. "I'll make it better. Just keep those assholes distracted." He told her, shutting the door behind him.

He was face to face with Y/N's apartment. Apartment door, that is. He hasn't been this nervous since the first time he waited for her outside her dorm, ready for their first date.

She opened the door and joked that he seemed as stiff as old metal. He rolled his eyes and said she was still annoying.

He placed a fist against the door and knocked, quietly. A part of him hoped that she wouldn't answer, or say she was busy already. But when he heard her voice, his nervousness grew.

"Come in!" Y/N shouted from the other side of the door, "It's unlocked!"

Bakugou took it upon himself to push the door open. The light shone across his face. It all looked the same. The couch and the blankets that rested on top of it, the TV turned off with the remote on the table. The kitchen was organised like how he showed her how, and the dining table still had flowers in the small vase in the middle. Y/N said it added something cute to dinner, as if Bakugou himself wasn't enough.

Y/N was pulling the cake box out from the hidden spot in the pantry, somewhere that Mina wouldn't find it. Jirou said she knew all the places in their shared apartment, so Y/N needed to find one in here. This was the place where she hid small gifts she had for Bakugou.

"Sorry, Kyoka, give me a second." Y/N said, setting the box on the table and opening the top, "I need to make sure the cake hasn't tipped or anything."

While she was distracted, Bakugou closed the door behind him and slowly took steps forward. He was being careful.

"Okay, we're good." Y/N sighed out happily, closing the box again. She leaned to the side, tilting her head. Bakugou stood a few feet behind her now. "I think Mina will like this. She said she's been craving a whole lot of strawberries and whipped cream."

The door swung open, revealing Sero with a small smile. "Hey, Y/N, Jirou wants me to grab the cake. She said you were busy." He stated, waving at Bakugou.

"Oh, sure, but she's right—" She turned around with a smile on her face. It fell when her eyes landed on Bakugou. She inhaled slowly.

"Katsuki." She mumbled, clenching her fingers around the skirt she was wearing. She took hold of the box and gave it to Sero. "Uh... Please, take this and tell Mina that I'll be a moment. Start without us."

Sero nodded his head, feeling the cold atmosphere around them before leaving.

"Is there something..." Y/N began.

She stopped talking. She shut her mouth. Y/N wanted Bakugou to figure out what to say. He needed to in order for this to keep going.

Bakugou stared at her. She was the same. Well, she looked the same. And that made him even more nervous. Because maybe she would think he was the same, that he hadn't changed. That he still couldn't say it.

Y/N expected him to come closer, take her hands and admit his love for her. Just like she did before asking him out on their first date. She just wanted him to say it. Please.

Bakugou did take a few more steps closer. They were now an arm's width apart. Y/N held her breath again.

Bakugou kneeled down. Y/N widened her eyes.

When Bakugou's forehead grazed the ground, he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry for everything." He said softly, staying still in the apologetic position, "Especially that night. I should've said 'sorry' right then and there. I'm sorry for leaving you."

Y/N stared at him for a while. She then smiled a bit, blinking with her stinging eyes before breathing in. She looked away and then knelt down, pressing a hand against his shoulder. Bakugou tensed up.

"It's okay, Katsuki." She sighed out, brushing her thumb over his jacket, "I've already forgiven you. A long time ago."

I've had nine months to think about it.

Bakugou sat up on his knees, staring at her. She was squatting in front of him. He hadn't been this close to her in ages. And he was apologising, she was forgiving him.

But she seemed disappointed.

She stood up and smoothed out her skirt, walking towards the door.

"Wait!" Bakugou shouted out, standing up straight, "Where are you going? That's it?"

She furrowed her brows as she looked back to him. Y/N hummed, "What do you mean, Katsuki?"

"I mean that you just..." Bakugou huffed back, running a hand through his blonde spiky hair, "That's all we're doing? Nothing else? The first time we've talked in months and—"

"And the first thing you said was 'sorry' for something I had forgotten about until you brought it up." She interrupted, shrugging her shoulders. She gave a grin, but it seemed sympathetic or... something. "Katsuki, you know what you have to say. But that's what you opened up with."

Okay, maybe Bakugou didn't think this through correctly.

"I get that you're still upset about the things that have happened and I appreciate your apology and accept it." She says. She's fully turned to him, hands behind her back. "But that's not what's going to get it back to how we were."

Bakugou clenched his fists. He called out, "I'm trying to fix this!"

"You're doing it wrong." Y/N told him, shaking her head with knitted brows.

"I don't fucking know how to fix it!" He claimed, waving his hands around like a maniac. He was going insane.

But Y/N marched towards him. She grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged him down. They were at eye-level now.

"Yes you do, Katsuki. You know exactly how to fix this. It all depends on you."

Bakugou let out a small breath. It was quick, but long enough for Y/N to look away and let go of him. She fixed herself up again and stared at the floor.

"Any progress?" She asked quietly, fumbling with her fingers. Bakugou hated the fact that she wasn't wearing the ring that promised their relationship. He noticed it when he walked in. That it was gone from her hand.

"Have you given up already?" He questioned instead. His voice was icy and sharp.

"Have you?" She replied, tilting her head as she gazed up to him.

"No." He states confidently, clenching his fists at his hips, "But... you have, haven't you? You got sick of waiting?"

Y/N squinted at him for a while before leaning against the arm of the couch. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I hate it." She spat out.

Bakugou shifted in his spot.

"I hate that it's nearly been a year and this is the first time we're talking. The first time and the first thing you say is... 'sorry' for something I freaking forgot about..." She told him, glaring at her shoes, "We should've tried to contact each other earlier. This would've been so much easier for us. God."

Bakugou stepped forward. "What the Hell does that mean?" He grumbles, jaw fixed.

"You want to know if I've given up?"

"Yes."

She darted her eyes away from him before tugging the collar of her dress. She pulled the necklace from underneath. There was a small chain. And wrapped at the tip on the bottom, the ring.

"I haven't." She said. She lifted her shoulders.

"Katsuki, it's been so long and I... I still want you to come back. You said you'd marry me. You can't back out of that. But you're..."

She rubbed the back of her neck. She felt tingly just standing near him.

"You're scared, Katsuki."

Bakugou could only stare at her.

"It's been so fucking lonely here without you, Katsuki." Y/N chuckled, dropping the necklace onto her chest. She covered her eyes with her hand, smiling at the ceiling. "Seeing you in my apartment is bringing back memories I don't know should be back."

Bakugou was like that one thing you couldn't quite place. It's because he fit everywhere. He was always in her memories. He was that one reoccurring thing. No matter what, she'd always remember him.

"I love you, Katsuki. I have for years now." She said, tears running down her cheeks. They dropped onto her lap. "If you actually love me back, just say it so we can get back together."

She was upset. She was breaking down right in front of him. "I fucking hate this." She calimed, wiping her eyes slowly, "I hate that we can't kiss each other or hold hands — I hate to put this ring on a chain because I kept staring at it on my finger."

She huffed, rubbing her tears away and looking at... really, nothing. Bakugou was there. His eyes were terrified and he didn't know what to do. He hated seeing her cry and wanted to make her stop. But his boy wouldn't move at all. He was frozen under her unreal gaze.

"I hate waiting for you." She cried out, only more water rushing down her cheeks, "I just... I just want this to be over. I want you back. I want to hear you say it. Katsuki, I don't know how much longer I can wait for you. I've tried so hard, I really have — it's hurting me too much..."

Bakugou took once step forward. Just one small step.

"But... shit, Katsuki." She mumbled out quietly, now playing with her fingers, "In simple terms, I just don't want to have to wait. So just leave."

"What?" Bakugou whispered out.

"Tell me that you can't love me." Y/N ordered him, standing up now and grasping at her skirt, "Tell me that you have other things to focus on and I'll just hold you back."

Bakugou lifted his shoulders and shouted, "Why the fuck would I say that?"

It rang in the cold air of Y/N's apartment. She panted, trying to calm her nerves and her breathing. His voice.

She sighed, tears falling off her chin and onto her wooden floors, "It's either I keep waiting and breaking, or you go away. Because if you can't tell me you love me, in this moment, then I don't think anymore years will be enough for us."

Bakugou shook his head.

Y/N softly smiled.

"Just tell me that you don't love me."

Bakugou rushed forward and dragged her into a crushing embrace. His arms trapped Y/N inside, in next to his chest. Y/N widened her eyes, gulping twice before feeling him begin to rub her back.

"I... love you." He said.

She started crying with her breath breaking into pieces.

"I love you." He said.

Bakugou fell to the ground with her on his lap.

"I love you." He said.

Y/N gripped the jacket he was wearing, crying into his chest.

Bakugou dug his nose into her shoulder.

He had her again, in his embrace and as close as ever. She still felt the same. Still warm and soft in his arms. Still smelling of that body wash she let him use sometimes. Still wrapping her arms around his waist because it was her favourite spot to hold him. Still here. With him.

"I should've said it from the start." He sighed out, feeling her tears dampening his t-shirt. It was stupid that it took him this long. That he thought proposing was his way of saying 'I love you', instead of using his voice. "I should've just told you that I didn't think I suited this whole love thing. That I felt like a fucking idiot for being so... so in love with you. That I didn't deserve this. Deserve you."

Y/N held him closer. He still used that cologne he wore on their dates.

"I'm sorry for the long wait, Y/N." He said, still rubbing her back. She still sunk into him every time he did that. "I've always known that I love you. Just couldn't say it because... who am I to steal you away? Nobody has ever waited for me to open up, not like you. And I'm so fucking lucky for that."

Y/N sat on his lap, trying to calm down her breaths and stop her crying. Her face against his chest and her forehead leaning to the side of his. The closest they've been in months. She had him. And she still loves him.

"I love you too, Katsuki."

It sounded different this time. Bakugou felt these words differently.

Kirishima later found them just holding each other in the middle of Y/N's apartment. Bakugou glared at him and shooed him off, Y/N only smiling at Kirishima. The party was over and the seven of the infamous Bakusquad were to catch up. Y/N and Bakugou walked back to Mina and Jirou's apartment, hand in hand, one of them wearing a familiar band on one of their left fingers.

Although they were together again, they had things to work out.

Skip to years later. Y/N and Bakugou had reconnected. Mina, instead of being 21 like that night, was now 23-years-old. Two years later.

Y/N shifted in her sleep. She was dreaming about something ridiculous that she'd definitely want to tell Bakugou when she woke up. The man behind her held her closer, pressing light kisses against the back of her neck. She hummed back, slowly waking up.

She blinked. It was still a little dark. The sun was rising for the morning. Y/N turned around, feeling the arms around her shift as she did. She smiled at the person next to her, pressing kisses to his neck in return.

"Good morning." She mumbled, allowing herself to be snuggled against the body, "How long have you been up for?"

"Only about ten minutes." He responds, rubbing her shoulders, "You still kick in your sleep sometimes."

"Sorry." She giggled, pressing apology kisses to his collarbone, "I'll help with breakfast to make up for it."

Bakugou smiled. She hadn't changed at all. Of course. He was glad.

"Fine, as long as you don't burn yourself." He said, pulling her closer.

"Katsuki, you're gonna' suffocate me." She mumbled into his chest, still holding onto him.

Bakugou kissed her lips slowly. And again. And again.

"I have to make up for the time we lost." He told her, pulling away for a moment as she brushed her thumb over his jawline, "I'll love the lonely out of you."

Y/N still couldn't get over it. Hearing him say 'love' like this. It was enchanting.

She kissed him once more. "That sounds like a good idea."

On her back, Bakugou spun the band around his finger a few times. A habit he picked up from Y/N.

The woman he loved.

TAGS (CLOSED): @jazzylove @urmomsshousee @multi-fandom-fanfic @shydeepblue @silentw-lkr @bakugousflowerprincess @aurorahoneybuns @kuxredere @susceptible-but-siriusexual

[his0kasbungeegum]

[regrets pt.2] katsuki bakugo x reader

genre: some angst, then fluff

characters: bakugo katsuki, mina ashido, mineta’s also mentioned

a/n: tbh this isn’t the best and i’m sorry it’s so long :( j hope u guys like it tho :)

For the next week, you went out of your way to avoid Bakugo however you could. You conveniently developed a fever the day classes started, so you just sat in your dorm all day, only leaving to get groceries for yourself. Soon enough, Mina, your closest friend, deduced that something was wrong and decided to approach you about it.

It was the afternoon of the fourth day of school you’d missed, and everyone was starting to trickle back into the dorms. As per usual, you were sitting in your room, trying to ignore your lack of appetite and sipping some broth. A knock at your door sounded, surprising you, but you slowly walked over to the door and opened it slightly. “Hey Mina,” you coughed, trying to make your voice sound normal but failing miserably.

“Y/N!” she exclaimed, her voice laced with concern. She entered your room, pulling you by the elbow and closing the door behind her. “You don’t look like you’re feeling too well.”

She wasn’t wrong. Your eyes were puffy, your hair was undone and frizzy, your face was flushed, and your throat was raw. You nodded, coughing into a tissue that you were clutching in your hand.

“This has to be more than just a cold,” she said, feeling your forehead with the back of her hand. “What happened? Is it something to do with Bakugo?” she inquired. Upon seeing your expression after she said the last word, she knew she’d guessed correctly. “You can tell me anything,” he said, hugging you tightly from the side.

Seeing as you had no other choice, you agreed and told her what happened, starting from when Iida confessed to you. By the end, she was seething. “I’m going to kill him,” she growled, her eyes flashing.

“It’s okay. Really, it’s fine,” you insisted. “You know I could kill him myself if I really wanted to.”

“You could,” she agreed, giggling.

A quick knock at the door interrupted both of you. “Come in,” you called.

Asui poked her head in the entrance. “Sorry to interrupt! Aizawa Sensei said he wanted us at the training center as soon as possible,” she called, looking at you sympathetically. “Y/N, I hope you feel better soon.”

“Thanks,” you replied, smiling weakly. Mina gave you a quick kiss on the forehead, then stood up. “I’ll see you later, Y/N!” she exclaimed as she left.

For the rest of the evening, you continued your usual routine of attempting to keep your fever down with alternating medications and foods. Before you knew it, you fell asleep in a bundle of warm blankets, your thin clothes sticking to you in a layer of sweat even though you still felt cold.

A sudden chill breeze running through your room woke you up. The bed creaked as you clambered out of it, padding over to the window and closing it. You reached for a thermometer to check your temperature: 102 degrees. Your fever hadn’t gone down in the slightest. You reached for your usual medicine, but not a single pill fell into the palm of your hand. Going through every medicine in your cabinet, not a single one was full, and you realized you were out of options. You needed to get to the convenience store and get some.

Your teachers and friends had been getting your supplies for you recently, since it was too cold outside for you to go alone. But considering it was around 2 in the morning and you didn’t want to wake anyone, you decided this was something to do by yourself.

The glistening moonlight illuminated the clothes hanging in your closet as you rifled through them, trying to find the warmest ones. You settled on a pair of winter stockings under a skirt and a fleece sweater with a cardigan on top. The rest of your warm clothes were being laundered, so that was all you had. Teeth chattering, you closed the door behind you with shaking hands and reached into your pocket to make sure you had money. Upon feeling the paper, you walked outside, the harsh wind whipping your face and turning it raw.

It took you half and hour longer than it should’ve, but you eventually reached the store and bought the medicine. It was a pill that you needed to dissolve in water, so you had to wait to take it until you got back to your dorm. However, your health was rapidly declining. It was irrefutable that you were one of the strongest in Class 1-A. In fact, some would’ve said you were the strongest. But what use did your quirk have against an incredibly high fever? As you tried to put one shaking foot in front of the other on the cement sidewalk, your head began to hurt and your vision began to blur. Trying to shake off the dizziness and nausea, you kept your head down, focusing on walking.

Through this haze, you barely heard someone call your name. But you merely passed it off as your imagination, considering your state of delirium. However, this time, the voice snapped you out of it. “Y/N?” called Bakugo, his tone unmistakable.

Your heart fluttered without your permission. If you could, you would stop it, but who can control their feelings? Honestly, it was terrifying to you that even though he’d hurt you so bad, your heart still fell for him. But your mind knew better, and you knew you had to listen to it.

The red flush on your cheeks from the wind grew redder as you felt Bakugo’s warmth beside you, gripping your elbow. “Hey, are you stupid? Why are you out in the cold like this? And especially at night?” he exclaimed harshly.

“Let go of me,” you mumbled, using all your strength to rip your arm from his grip.

“I know you hate me right now,” he said, a note of hurt in his voice. You furrowed your eyebrow at his tone, never hearing him speak with such regret before. “But I’m not going to let you die out here because of me.”

“I can take care of myself,” you said. Even speaking it, you realized how stupid you sounded. You were barely able to get your voice out, much less physically walk all the way back to the dorms.

At the moment, you were thankful your face was hidden by the wind whipping your hair, because if Bakugo could see the blush on your face as he wrapped an arm around you for support, he would’ve known your feelings instantly. He helped you back to the dorm in silence, the bleak, cold landscape providing both of you company. “If you ever say anything about this to anyone, I’ll kill you,” you growled, managing to keep your teeth from clicking for that one sentence.

“I’d like to see you try,” he replied haughtily. Not long after, both of you were inside Class 1-A’s dorm and approaching your floor. All you really remembered after that was having some grape-flavored medicine poured down your throat, then sinking under the warm covers.

The orange glow behind your eyelids served as a catalyst to your waking, as you groaned and flipped over. You became aware of the ungodly amount of blankets you had on top of you, and you kicked a couple off your bed.

You were received with a surprised grunt, followed by a couple curses. You quickly opened your eyes and sat up, immediately alert. Looking down, you were greeted with a head of ash-blonde hair attached to a grumpy-looking highschooler with an irritable look on his face.

“Bakugo? What are you doing here?” you said in surprise, relaxing back down now that you knew you weren’t being attacked.

“I just stayed. Not because of you or anything, just because I was tired,” he said quickly, looking away with a pink tinge on his cheeks.

“Not because of me, huh?” you asked playfully, seeing through his lies.

“Shut up,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “But Y/N, I know I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have said what I said, and I definitely didn’t mean it. I only said it because I was, well,” he continued, trailing off.

“You were what?”

“Jealous,” he said, pouting. Taking a quick look at you, he realized how much you were enjoying this. “Hey! This is hard for me, you know. Stop that!” he exclaimed, upon seeing that you were just laughing more.

“And why were you jealous?” you asked, still laughing a little.

“You know.”

“Well, I want you to say it. Don’t you owe me at least that?”

“Fine,” he relented. “I was jealous because I like you.”

You smiled to yourself upon finally hearing the words you’d waited on for so long. “Bakugo, I think you already know how I feel about you. But what you said isn’t something I can forget easily, so I’m going to need a little bit of time, okay?” you said sincerely.

“Yeah, I can deal with that,” he replied, stretching his arms.

The creak of the door opening alerted both of you, and you turned your heads there in surprise. “Hi Y/N! Everyone’s here to make you feel better!” called Mina, opening the door. Once she saw Bakugo, her eyes went wide and she blushed. “Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt! Let’s go you guys, Y/N’s busy!” she called, slamming the door shut.

“What? Bakugo gets to sleep in Y/N’s room? He’s so lucky!” complained Mineta, his voice muffled from behind the door.

“Hey, what was that, you shrimp?” yelled Bakugo, throwing the covers off of him. You simply laughed, glad that things were restored to semi-normalcy for now.

tags: @bonbonthedragon

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Sweetest Pain

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6  🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

See, I told myself from the start of things You can't rule my heart, you can't pull my strings

But, I'm a fool for you, baby, a fool for your love I'm just a fool for you baby, got me all mixed up I'm just a fool for you, baby and nothing's gonna change And maybe it's my sweetest pain

click here to be on the update list

(check the characters page, i updated it with all the characters!)

DEVON

                                                Everything happened in slow motion. I stared at this girl I had seen on some instagram pictures, this girl I was so jealous of, this girl who made my whole insides twist with fear, and I swallowed hard. I even feel like I recognized her before Niall did but when her name came out of his lips, my heart dropped in my chest. Did he ever say my name that way? I closed my eyes and shook my head slightly. Yes, he had. In fact, he had said my names in many different ways, and most of them were imprinted with feelings.

"Oh my god Niall!"

She walked quickly to him and for some reason, I took a step on the side to give her all the space she needed to wrap her arms around his neck after getting on her tiptoes. He looked in shock and I breathed in deeply when I realized he wouldn't hug her back.

"What are you doing here?"

I could hear slight panic in his voice but when she got back down on her feet and sent him a big smile, it's discomfort I saw in his face.

"Oh I just got back here, you know, I decided I had to get a degree." she shrugged, tilting her head and sending him a smile.

"No more vlogs?"

She laughed and frowned, hitting his arm gently, and I became obsessed with the way she was touching him. It bothered me so much I had to swallow and grab the hem of my shirt tight, twisting the fabric with my fingers to make sure I wouldn't just walk up to her and push her away.

The few days Niall and I had spent alone in his apartment brought me happiness like nothing else before, except maybe when everything was going amazingly well between Henry and I. That's why I knew that having Abby in front of him could make Niall a bit confused about how he felt. Maybe he was happy with me, but he had been in love with that girl, and some things just never leave... some feelings can linger for years after it was over. I knew it, and it scared me to look at this perfect painting right in front of me. Niall and Abby were perfect models for a photoshoot in a magazine, and the way they seemed attracted physically to each other was heartbreaking. It made me wonder what people actually saw when I was walking around with Niall, but I knew it was nothing compared to the sight in front of me.

"Oh no I still have my channel!" she chuckled, reaching for his hand and squeezing it a bit.

I swallowed again and after a while, we ended up sitting in the living room. For some reason, I ended up next to Niall on the couch but Abby was sitting on the floor in front of him. I hated that sight and when she put her hands on his knees, I held my breath, staring at them. I wanted to get up and run away but I was frozen and finally looked up. I immediately met Louis' eyes and he shook his head before grabbing his phone and typing something on it. It took a second or two and my phone beeped, catching my attention but also Niall's, who turned his head slightly to look at me. He bent down to talk to me but Abby got up on her knees, her hands now on his thighs, bringing his attention back to her. I knew she was doing it on purpose but what really hurt me was the fact that it worked.

'You stay right where you are. Don't let her push you away. That's her thing.'

I looked up at Louis and he raised his eyebrows. I had so many questions and even if I felt like Niall had opened up a lot about his ex, It was now obvious to me that I didn't know much.

"I was thinking maybe you could sneak in my room some night this week?" I heard her say, making my heart jump so high in my throat I thought I was about to throw it up. "Like you used to."

"Are you fucking serious?"

The words had escaped my lips without thinking and my heart started thumping hard against my chest. Her eyebrows raised and her head turned to me but I held her gaze when her eyes met mine.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, are you fucking serious?" I repeated in a mean tone. "After breaking his heart you just come back and act like nothing's happened? Like you can just snap your fingers and get him back?"

I was mad, a bit tipsy, and sadder than I had been in a long time. I wanted Niall to be the one to push her away but he was just sitting there, acting like all this was normal, and it made me want to cry. I wondered what he would have told her if I hadn't said anything and at the same time, I was scared to find out.

"Why do you even care?" she asked rudely, sending me a frown. I held my breath and glanced at Niall, making her chuckle. "Oh, someone's got a crush."

"And someone's got a fucking big ego." I replied quickly, trying to hide the fact that her words had embarrassed me.

"Who the fuck are you anyway?"

I was not the only one pissed, now. Abby was staring at me like she wanted to jump of me and rip my face off. I wanted to answer her but the problem was, I had no idea who I was. I was not Niall's girlfriend, I had made sure about it. I was his friend, of course, but I was so much more than that, or at least I wanted to believe it. Telling her I was the girl he was shagging was also a bad idea because it didn't mean much, and it certainly didn't mean anything to her.

"No one, yea, that's what I thought." Abby added with a smug smile. "Mind your own fucking business."

I swallowed my pain but I knew I was tearing up despite myself and I quickly got up, grabbed my hoodie and left, closing the door roughly behind myself. It was a mix of everything that made me so emotional and I hated it.  I was tipsy, scared, sad and mad, probably mostly at myself. It was so pathetic it angered me more than I thought it would. What did I promise myself when I left my old college? I had promised myself not to be this vulnerable girl anymore, I had promised myself that I wouldn't let my guard down. But here I was, letting some stupid girl affect me because of a man I was having sex with. It was ridiculous and I let some angry tears fall down my cheeks without wiping them off.

I was far from campus and I quickly put my hoodie on before wrapping my arms around myself. Snow had melted but it was still quite cold outside, especially for a twenty minutes walk, and I shivered as I walked. My feet made noise on the cement, echoing on the deserted street and it made me realize how late it was,

I could have sworn I had heard my name but just shook my head and sighed. It was probably the alcohol or the wind, or so I thought, but when I heard it again, my heart skipped a beat. The sound of his shoes on the sidewalk made a lot more noise than mine : he was running. I didn't want to turn around because I didn't want him to see me cry but eventually, I felt his hand on my arm and my body immediately relaxed.

"Devie!" he let out again, making me stop walking. He was panting, I could hear him, and when I turned around, I noticed his thin lips parted and his chest moving as he tried to catch his breath. "I was yelling your name, didn't you hear?"

"What are you doing here, Niall?" I asked, ignoring his question. "Shouldn't you be up there,  planning a night with your ex girlfriend?"

"Oh stop that." he frowned, suddenly very annoyed.

"Stop what? You said you wouldn't give her a chance to break your heart again! Look at you now! She's back and you're stuck to her! Attracted like a magnet, like-like a lost puppy!"

"Seriously?" he replied a bit too loud. "I just fucking ran after you and you say those things to me?"

"Why are you letting her flirt with you when she broke you?" I argued again. "Why didn't you just tell her off?"

"And why would I do that, Devon?" My lips parted mostly at the fact that he called me by my whole first name. I couldn't remember the last time he actually did that. "I mean what are we, Devon? What the fuck are we? Two idiots who fuck?" he threw his arms up and scoffed, shaking his head. "Because I love you! I fucking love you and you fucking know it! But you're pushing me away, over and over again! And I'm so fucking tired of it!"

His confession made something stir inside my chest and I teared up again. He loved me. He fucking loved me, he said. I was speechless and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"And this whole situation is starting to be dangerously similar to the relationship I had with Abby! Can't you see it?"

"Don't compare me to her!" I pointed out, taking a step closer as he laughed without amusement.

"But it's true okay!" he argued loud, passing his hand on his face. "You're with me but you're not with me! You know I love you but you don't want me to say it! You're keeping me around why? What for, Devon? As an entertainment?"

I felt nauseous suddenly and swallowed, trying not to throw up. "N-Niall.."

"That is what Abby did, okay?" I saw him tear up, his eyes watering and gleaming as the moon reflected on them. He was so pretty that it made my heart sink in my chest. "I love having sex with you, but you made sure we were not a couple! So you don't have the right to get pissed and tell me what I should and shouldn't do! You don't get to tell me what to do and how to feel when you can't even admit that you love me!"

I was so hurt at that point that I let tears freely fall on my cheeks. I was mad at him for throwing all these truths in my face, and also for what he was actually doing with his ex girlfriend, whether it was conscious or not, and I was mad at myself for letting all of this affect me.

"Fuck you." I let out calmly, pressing my lips together to stop myself from sobbing.

"Yea, I did that." he replied gently this time, passing his hand in his hair. "But that's not gonna happen again."

He turned around to leave as something hurt so much in my stomach that it felt like someone had literally hit me so hard that I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Look, I'll just... I'll give you a ride home okay?"

"No." I replied, turning around before I continued walking.

"Devie, I don't think it's safe that you just walk alone so late." he explained, genuinely concerned. "I'll send you Louis, okay?"

I stopped walking and heard the short conversation he had with Louis. It took about ten minutes of awkward silence before Louis arrived and it felt like an hour. I saw them shake hands and hug before Louis whispered something to Niall. When he finally left, I turned around and started sobbing, feeling Louis' arms wrap around me, pulling me into a tight hug.

"It's gonna be alright." he whispered in my hair as I gripped the back of his shirt like my life depending on it. "I promise."

I didn't answer. I just let him hold me tight against him until I was too tired and we finally walked back to our rooms. When I opened mine, it was dark and I sniffed, turning around to send a sad smile to my best friend.

"Thanks, Louis."

"Hey, do you want to sleep in my room?"

"No, thanks." I shook my head a bit. "I need to be alone."

"Alright, but I'm only a few steps away, if you need me."

I took off my shoes as soon as the door closed behind me and did the same with my clothes. I stared at my bed, realizing I hadn't slept in it in a long time. In  the past few days, I had slept in Niall's bed with him, and I knew I was going to miss that. I grabbed his shirt that was on hos bed and hesitated but finally put it on before slithering between the sheets of my bed. I stared at the ceiling and swallowed hard again, trying not to cry more. It was exhausting to cry and I had cried way too much because of my last relationship.

I couldn't help but wonder what Niall was doing, and if he was with her. I was so jealous I wanted to scream but I was too tired to do anything. I finally let warm tears fall down my neck, leaving them to die on my pillow. He was probably with her, whispering her name the way he whispered mine when we had sex, and I gripped my blanket hard with both hands until my knuckles turned white. Despite being exhausted, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep at all, but about an hour and a half later, the door opened and closed. I made sure I remained motionless and he threw his keys on the desk, stopping by my bed and standing close to me for a few minutes. He finally moved away and took his clothes off, getting in his bed. My heart was beating fast and as it slowly got back to normal, I realized how relieved I felt that he didn't spent the night with her. I didn't know what had happened when he got back at Lewis' or what happened in those hours we were apart, but at least he was there and it was enough for now.

--

However, when I woke up, Niall was already gone. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes before that aching pain came back. I had lost him and he was probably going to go back to his ex girlfriend now. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe in and out slowly for a while before getting up and getting dressed. I kept glancing at the hoodie he had left on his bed and I licked my lips before grabbing it. I just couldn't resist and put it on without remorse. I grabbed my book and walked out, knowing I was a bit early for my classes, which was seriously a first.

"Hey! Devon right?"

I blinked a few times and frowned, putting my hand over my eyes to hide the morning sun. I saw Mandy who was sending me a big smile and took a step closer. She was gorgeous, even so early in the day, and I sent her a smile back.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good! And you? How are things with Niall?" she asked, genuinely curious. "He's not with you?"

"Mm, no, he's probably with.. Abby."

I had no idea if he was, in fact, with Abby. It was just a wild guess but somehow, I preferred to expect the worst so the truth didn't just blow up in my face. Perhaps it was a bad habit but I couldn't help it.

"Oh god, she's back now." she let out with a hint of bitterness. "You know she used to be my friend?" My eyes opened wider in surprise and I shook my head. "Niall didn't tell you? Yea we used to be very close but, it's hard to keep up with Abby, and if she gets tired of you just just gets rid of you. She's not doing it on purpose, she just wants things so bad she doesn't know when to stop."

"People too."

Mandy's eyes roamed on me and she nodded. "Yea, people too. Like when she wanted Niall's best friend. She didn't give up until she had him. I have no idea why she dated Niall afterwards. Probably because at some point, I told her he was cute. She couldn't risk it."

The more I learned about Abby, the worst it got. I was scared of her now, scared of what she would do and scared of how she would do it.

"She's not a bad person!" Mandy quickly added. "She's got her fair share of good qualities. She juts has history with Niall, so you may want to do something about it."

"There's nothing to do." I shrugged, feeling my heart shatter again in my chest. "I'm not gonna beg him to choose me."

Mandy frowned and took a step closer, hiding the sun. I could clearly see her face and she seemed confused and worried all at the same time. It was a miracle that Niall hadn't fallen in love with someone like her... a miracle for me. I wouldn't stand a chance against her.

"You don't want to fight for him?"

"Why should I have to fight for someone who's going back to the girl who broke his heart?" i argued, not even sure of what I was saying.

"Maybe you should fight for what you two have instead. Fight to save that relationship, whatever it is. Fight because you want it, and because you love him. he fought for you, didn't he?"

I blinked a few times, staring at the pretty girl in front of me, and finally nodded. "He did."

"Then fight for this. Not for his love, no. But for your love." she added with a fond smile. "He's worth it, don't you think? That relationship is worth it."

I frowned a bit and tilted my head. There was something in her voice, like an hint of nostalgia I didn't understand.

"Do you love him?" I finally asked curiously, unsure if she was actually going to tell me the truth.

"No." she chuckled, shaking her head and sending me a bit smile. "But I could have, perhaps."

I smiled back and we stared at each other for a few seconds before she breathed in and sighed. "And if it doesn't work, let me know. My brother thinks you're cute."

This time, I let out a louder laugh. "Yea, right."

"It's true!" she argued, her lips curling on the left. "People around you don't see you the way you see yourself because from what I can tell, you really don't think highly about who you are, and you should."

I had no idea what to answer to that and my heart jumped in my chest when I heard my phone. Mandy sent me a smile and waved gently at me as a goodbye before turning around and leaving. I sighed again and grabbed my phone, quickly checking my messages but I swallowed hard when I realized it was Louis. In that two seconds of not knowing, I had wished it was Niall messaging me and it told me just how fucked I actually was.

I checked the time on my phone and just decided to skip class as I felt the need to paint. I was inspired and if I didn't do it now, I was scared I would lose inspiration. I typed short answer to my best friend, proposing him to meet for lunch, when my phone beeped again. I knew it was not Niall but I wanted it to be. The name that appeared on my phone, however, made my jaw drop.

'Dev, it's Cammy, can we talk?'

[fanficsandfluff]

Lights Out, Nobody Home

Fandom: Marvel’s The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Characters: Sam Wilson (Falcon), Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

Words: 1,766

Okay here you go lmao. Bc @bigirlgiggles and @ticklingmood showed interest. Unfortunately, loves, I forgot to mention there was zero tickling in it *cries*

The tone is so bad, it’s bordering on offensive hurt/comfort..... I wrote it in a sleepy daze I just needed to write something. 

We go deal with that, and when we’re done, we both can go on separate, long vacations and never see each other again.

... and never see each other again.

I like that.

"I like that?" Bucky muttered to himself aloud in the back of a cab that was taking him home. Did Sam... No, he couldn't have known. He can't be feeling the same way as me right now. That's why he said that in the first place. But why did he have to give him that answer? That curt response that he didn't at all mean?

Bucky unlocked his apartment door and stepped inside, the whole place oddly quiet and dark. He left the lights off as he roamed around, getting himself a drink. And drink he did.

Bucky had the news on the television, not often changing channels. He wasn't the sitcom-at-midnight kind of viewer. With no inkling for sleep in mind, Bucky finished the pack of beer he just bought (and dammit was hoping to save and spread out because now he needed more).

Never See Each Other Again.

Bucky's eyes burned. No. No no nonono...

Could Sam see in his eyes how clouded they were in that police interrogation room? As they were forced to stare at each other, legs intertwined. Did Sam pick up on his moment of weakness?

Bucky heard his phone make its ringing sound and he looked down at the coffee table at it. Area code could've been Sam's... He didn't flick the phone open, just put it back down and let it ring.

"And you agreed... You sorry sack of shit--Fuck!" Bucky had shattered the final beer bottle he held in his metal arm, and it surprised him. He whisked off the dripped residue from his arm, brushing off any broken glass from his thighs. Fucking knew it, Buck. You knew to get cans instead of bottles, but they were out of cans, so we settled for bottles and look what the fuck happens.

His eyes were still burning, and he kept them that way for so long his sinuses were starting to get sore.  He moved slowly and calculated, cleaning up the glass shards in the dark apartment. The flickering TV didn't illuminate enough, it seems, as a forgotten piece sliced into his palm when he went feeling around between the couch cushions. Without much of a reaction from him, he pulled out the shard and tossed it away like the others.

A ring of his doorbell happened next and Bucky went into full alert mode. "God dammit..." he didn't think he was mentally ready to act as a functioning member of society right now.

Bucky tiptoed to the door and looked out the peephole, actually sighing out loud when he saw Sam and his raised eyebrow. Then he knocked.

Bucky cracked the door open and before he could get a word out, Sam said, "Woah... we living in full darkness over here? I feel like I'm actually entering your physical mind right now. Electricity bills must be cheap."

Bucky moved to close the door but Sam's hand reached in, "Hey! Hey, Buck, I just want--"

"Don't call me that."

"You're right, I forgot. I'm sorry," and Sam meant it, "Can I come in?"

Bucky took a few beats, and Sam let him have them, before he threw open the deadbolt and let Sam inside. Sam immediately flicked the light switch on.

When Sam did that, Bucky went to the windows and shut all the blinds and pulled the curtains fully tight, wincing when the cut in his palm was slid through the rope attached to the blinds.

"I thought we could talk," Sam started speaking again.

"Haven't we done enough of that today?"

"Without Nurse Ratched supervising," Sam looked over stained spots on the couch and all the empty beer bottles on the coffee table. It made him frown. Bucky was staring at him already and he looked back.

"I think we both made our points," Bucky said and he made the move to clear all the bottles out of the room once he picked up on Sam observing them. That's when Sam caught sight of the red palm.

"You good?" he moved forward, instinct taking over to reach for Bucky's hand. Bucky pulled that arm to his chest and took several steps back, "I'm perfect."

Sam's brow furrowed and he scoffed, "Shit, man... did anyone ever tell you you're stubborn?"

"Several people, yes."

Sam let the silence hang after the mild snarky comments, and he gathered up three of the bottles in his hand, taking them to the kitchen recycling. Bucky took the rest and he stayed in the kitchen to wash out his hand. Sam watched him and then he watched Bucky's face as he let the water run over his wound.

"Now who's staring?"

Sam smiled, "You know, you always look like you're one comment away from crying." He said it. He said that and he meant absolutely no teasing or malice from it. Sam tried in the most earnest way to reach out to the ex-Winter Soldier.

Bucky hardened his jaw and he turned the faucet off. He grabbed a paper towel and carefully shredded it from its group, holding it in his human hand. In this instant, he was afraid to stare. He was afraid to meet Sam's eyes for fear of actually breaking down into tears. But then he challenged that thought and shared eyesight with Sam.

"Wh-What do you want?" ah, fuck. He fucking stuttered.

"The comment I made. The closing statement. I said it to get us out of that room and out here so we can help," he paused to think of what to say next, "It worked. Right?"

Wrong way to say things, Wilson. Bucky skirted himself around Sam to walk back towards the living room.

"I've read people's faces for a living, Bucky. Faces like yours. What I said about us never seeing each other again, I saw what it did to you. As hard as you try to hide it," Sam followed him, watching Bucky take a seat on his couch.

"I'm waiting for an apology."

"Well, then you'll be waiting for a while because I'm not giving one. I'm explaining myself, since you didn't want to listen in that room--"

"I listened. I asked questions that I wanted answers to. Steve wanted--"

"Bucky, Steve ain't here anymore," Sam sat down besides Bucky on the couch, facing him, looking at him with a caring intensity, "He's not. I made the choice I thought was right, I don't know how many times I have to say it. I told him it didn't feel like mine, I told him I wasn't ready. Tell me you haven't ever felt like that in your life... unprepared for a burden you knew would be fucking monumental. I donated the shield. I didn't vote to create a new Cap. Bucky..." Sam's voice wavered and dropped to a whisper when he saw tears trickling down Bucky's cheeks.

Bucky scrunched his face up and turned away from Sam. He didn't make much noise. He just sat and let the hot tears run down his face. This had to be a lesson in bottling emotions... don't fucking do it otherwise you'll explode like a fire hydrant with tears all at once.

Sam didn't move, didn't think to make a move. He heard Bucky sniffle once to get an intake of breath and he reached out a hand and placed it on the other man's shoulder.

"I... I'm touched you feel that attached to me. That you want to make this work, and you couldn't live without me, because hey, I don't blame you--"

"Oh, just shut the fuck up," Bucky sniffled again, now wiping at his nose that was threatening to run.

Sam started to laugh and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against Bucky's arm as he let his laugh out. Even Bucky wasn't immune. He was looking anywhere but at Sam, wet eyes darting around, but he was kind of smiling. It was a small one and the tear streaks and red eyes weren't helping him out there. Bucky shoved Sam off his arm after a few seconds, "Get off."

"Are we gonna be able to get to work on this?"

Bucky nodded, now wiping his eyes. Sam quickly got up and retrieved another paper towel for Bucky to use to clean off his face as opposed to swiping his cold metal appendage all over it.

"You still love me?"

Bucky eyed Sam and saw that cheeky bastard revel in what he asked, "No."

"I'm hurt."

"Good."

"Buck."

"I said don't call me--"

"...yyyy. Buckyyyy. Yo, you didn't even let me finish, you're so angry all the time. Oh--oH! Oho, now he's clamming up again! Did I hurt your feelings?"

"You are so rude, did you know that?"

Now Sam was laughing again.

Bucky continued, "I'm over here crying and pouring my heart out and you just keep..." he mimed a stabbing motion in midair, "... keep twisting that knife. You're never satisfied. I'm your asshole punching bag for anything quippy and-- Sam," Bucky was staring at the man nearly losing it from laughing at him so much, "This isn't funny, I'm being serious. I'm opening up to you, you dick. This is what your problem is."

Bucky was frowning, but he knew inside he felt no hate. Was this growth? Maybe. He was just insatiably annoyed by the fucking Falcon.

"You're a dick," Bucky said again, and Sam had quelled his laughter most of the way. Bucky reached out with his metal appendage and tweaked Sam's side.

"Hehey! Don't you try tickling me! You know what you're gonna get?"

"Get out of my house. Time to leave."

Sam was being ushered towards the door.

"Hey, I take back what I said," Sam leaned against the front door with Bucky ready to push him through it, "About the long vacation. I can't leave you alone for long. So, it looks like we're stuck together."

Bucky stared, studied.

"Thanks for coming over. You're so fucking annoying, though," and Bucky even flashed a smile when Sam giggled again.

"I'm glad I came. I watched you go through a whirlwind of emotions I didn't even know your android brain had."

"Goodnight, Sam," Bucky reached across the man and opened the door for him.

"I'll see you tomorrow so we can get to work."

Bucky nodded. He shut the door, clicking the locks back into place. Hmm... couples therapy might be the key.

[hellisheuphoria]

Chapter 6: Conceal.

The MC has their true feelings exposed.

[This chapter contains scenes depicting mental breakdowns, anxiety/panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, so please read at your own risk. And thank you for reading, stay safe <3]

You heard the front door click open and a group of voices rushing in from the entrance. You stood still, panicked and frozen- your mind completely blank. You picked up your bags and ran out of your room and to the only place you knew you could go.

You sprinted across the hallway. It was hard to run with the bags in your hands, and you couldn’t help but drop a few things.

You stopped in front of the dollhouse and remembered the time when you and Beel looked for Luke in there after he disappeared inside of the closet.

You noticed the riddle engraved in the small walls of the dollhouse, written in the language of angels, which Beel translated for you.

When the morning star dwelt in the heavens, its light shone down upon this one, sparkling brilliantly, the eighth of the eight.

Your fingers brushed the wood, an aura of melancholy radiating from the slightest touch.

”The morning star was another name for Lucifer,” you spoke out loud, “And the eighth child of the eight was Lilith.”

A blinding, white light engulfed you and you felt as though you were floating, suspended in midair. Everything ceased to exist for a moment, and you held your breath, keeping your eyes shut.

At last, a hard floor emerged from beneath you and your feet landed upon it. You opened your eyes to find yourself in Lilith’s room.

All the furniture was still draped in white, bland sheets that took away the beauty of this place. It held melancholy, pain and grief, yet you could sense the memories that once made this place so special. It almost made you feel bad to be breaking into it.

You let go of your bags and sat down, pulling your knees up to your chest and letting yourself rest for what felt like eternity. God, you were exhausted.

You heard a ping! from your phone and picked it up, seeing a few texts from Beel. You hesitated for a few seconds, but opened up the app anyways. It’s not as though he could find you just by reading his texts, right?

Beel

Hey, MC.

I know a lot has happened these past few months and you probably don’t want to talk to me, but..

Please, just hear me out, okay? If I can’t talk to you physically, this is the second best I can do.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you, MC. I know that I’ve been absolutely selfish for not being able to tell how you’ve been feeling for however long it’s been going on, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you before it escalated, I shouldn’t have ignored your feelings.

I don’t want to make this too long, so I’ll try and keep it short. MC, I only want to help you- we all do. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’m concerned for you. I’m not mad at you for running away, I’m mad at myself for not knowing why. I could have helped you, and I didn’t. I didn’t even notice. We just want the best for you, Belphie included. Even if he might be the cause of this. It was our fault for not noticing.

You’re so kind and considerate, and I’m ashamed of myself for not being the same back. Please forgive me if you can find it in your heart to do so.

-Beel.

You felt an air of shame surround you. Beel had a heart the same size as his hunger, and it you could feel the sadness he felt from reading his texts.

Perhaps it was time for you to stop being so evasive... maybe- it was time for you to answer their questions, to reveal what you truly felt on the inside.

It had tormented you for so long, the fear of being exposed, to be stripped bate for everyone to see what truly hid underneath- for them to be broken from their masks and lenses of lies and ignorance.

Was it really worth it? Was it worth it to worry about this for the rest of your minuscule, almost pointless life? Did they deserve your lies?

Were you worth it?

As sweet as they were, they were demons, nonetheless. Angels that fell from grace, their souls corrupted and blackened, their purity decayed and rotten.

How could they possibly understand? They couldn’t understand. Why should they? Human lives were pointless and non-existent when compared to theirs. Humans were weak and vulnerable, easily manipulated with just a few sentences.

Did they truly care for you at all? Did they only think of you as a replacement for their late, dear sister? Another Lilith?

Would you have been discarded and thrown away like trash if they did not know of your heritage? After all, the apple never falls far from the tree.

It was hard to trust people in the Devildom. It was hard to trust anyone at all, really. It was suffocating being so.. alone, no matter how isolated and distant you were.

It felt hard to breathe, again. The air felt constricting and hot.

No one could be trusted.

No one at all.

You let out a strangled sob, tears pouring down your reddened cheeks as you held onto yourself from comfort, crying for some sort of validation.

You were weak and spineless, and you brushed your hand in your hair as you tried to console yourself as silently as you could. You were truly alone. Vulnerable and scarred on the inside and outside. Maybe there really was no hope for you.

Salty, hot tears rushed down your cheeks. You couldn’t help but weep uncontrollably, your back arched and your arms wrapping around your shaking body.

Everything hurt so much, it felt as though you were being strangled again, pinned to the wall and unable to move. It was like dying all over again, and you couldn’t help but scream.

It felt like something was suffocating you, sitting on your chest like a bag of bricks. The air suddenly turned cold and you jumped, terrified of being attacked in your horrible, sensitive state.

You hid your face in your hands and sank down to the floor, wishing to disappear and never come back. What hope was there left? What was the point of your existence?

You screamed in your hands and went rigid, your entire body exhibiting naked emotion.

Everything was tuned out. The world simply didn’t exist anymore, and neither did anyone else. Except you.

Yet, you still failed to notice someone else entering the room, completely flabbergasted at what was happening in front of them.

”MC!” Beel yelled, frozen in a state of panic and pulsing waves of anger. It was absolutely sickening to witness you crumble into pieces on the floor, holding onto yourself hard enough to leave bruises. He would later beat himself up for being so ignorant.

He immediately fell to the floor and tried to hold you. He wanted to console you, to comfort you, but he couldn’t.

You felt so vulnerable and exposed. It was like reliving your death at the hands of Belphegor, and so when Beel tried to touch you, you screamed and crawled away from him, shifting yourself into the corner so he wasn’t even within arms length of you.

He immediately recoiled when you screamed, and felt his heart drop at the sight of you cowering away like an injured lamb.

You wailed, “Don’t touch me! Stop- get- get away from me!” You pulled up your knees and wrapped your arms around them, trying to disappear, if you could.

”Please- don’t hurt me- not again! Leave me alone- I beg you!”

Beel slowly shuffled closer, and tried to talk in the most calm and quiet voice he could muster up, careful not to rattle you any further.

”MC, it’s Beel, I’m not-“ he felt disgusted at seeing what his twin brother had done to you. He had broken you far from recognition, shattered you into pieces and left you by yourself to pick them up. He had defiled you. And the worst thing was that he allowed him to. It was almost as repulsive as doing it himself. “I’m not Belphie. I’m not going to hurt you,”

He held his arms wide enough for you to crawl into his embrace. “I want to help, MC. Please listen, I’m here for you.”

You looked up at him, shaken and tear-ridden, ashamed of mistaking him as a monster.

”Beel...?” You whispered, your voice raspy and your throat scratchy and aching.

He nodded, “Yes, MC. It’s me.”

You jumped into his embrace, sobbing. He wrapped his arms around you and sat there, waiting for you to calm down, almost collapsing in tears, himself.

You two sat there for a while, not saying anything but appreciating each other’s company. Everything came to a standstill, and you were glad that nothing could be heard from here.

“I’m sorry.” You spoke after a while, ashamed of being seen like this, so exposed and weak.

He looked down at you and shook his head, “No, MC. You’re not the one who should be apologising, that should be me.”

”I wish I noticed, I’m so sorry.”

It was probably enough, at this point. If you had to put up with this for any longer, you may as well just not put up with anything, and let go.

If your life was just gonna be full of this horrible torture, the only way to be rid of this was to not be here any longer. To cease to live.

If only you could just double over and die. You would be so grateful to the demon that would end your misery in this twisted universe.

Your stupid, worthless life had no meaning anyway. There was nothing permanent in life. Friends would drift away, no matter how close you were or how long you’d know each other. And family members could not live forever either.

One day, you wouldn’t live. Be it at your hands or someone else’s. Maybe even nature.

It felt shameful and piteous to be seen like this- to feel like this. What was the point in living any longer?

People would laugh at you, they would judge you, they would hurt you- no matter if they were an angel, a demon or human. You would forever be judged.

Maybe some people thought of you as confident; maybe some of them thought of you as kind or considerate. Hell, maybe some of them thought of you as hardheaded or stubborn.

If you were to change yourself, you would always have a different version of yourself in everyone’s mind. There would never be the same version of yourself in anyone’s point of view. What was the point in redemption? You would never feel satisfaction so long as there is somebody that thinks of you in an ill-mannered way.

You were tired of thinking. You were tired of everything. You kept your arms around Beel and eased your body, letting yourself relax. He wrapped his arms around your form and scooped you up, letting you rest against him.

He kissed the top of your head and whispered, “I’ll make everything right, MC. I swear.”

How sweet of him.

Your weary, red eyes closed, and you drifted away to a world where nothing could hurt you, and you were at peace. Away from this corrupt reality and hollow world.

[This chapter is really triggering, so please don’t hesitate to talk to me if you’re feeling like you need to vent or if you need any solace <3]

[domesticmail]

the bird and her cage; one

chapter one; litany in which certain things are crossed out

a/n: colton anon !!! here’s your first chapter :) i hope you like it!!

MASTERLIST

PLAYLIST

TAGLIST

warnings: mention of physical, verbal, and mental abuse. alcohol.

word count: 2.3k

you poor, sad thing

you want a better story...

who wouldn’t?

           -  richard siken

You are so cold. The jacket you’re wearing was meant to look cute, not to provide warmth, and you’re suddenly regretting the choice to wear it as freezing air bites any revealed skin. Your hands are shaking, your legs are burning, and your teeth are chattering as you force yourself to move, keep running, keep moving, you can’t stop you can’t you have to keep going.

Headlights engulf you in bright, cutting light. You look back while moving forward, craning your neck to get a good view of the car because oh god, if it’s him, you’re going to die.

As the Volkswagen speeds past you, you put an arm up to shield your eyes from the light. Fuck. Your breath fogs the air and when it feels like you are finally too tired to keep running, you remember your phone, its weight pressing against you in your back pocket. Like a woman who has found god, you cry as you take it out and, hands and fingers shaking in the freezing air, get yourself an Uber for wherever the fuck you are. You type in “hotel” and click the first address you see, nearly sobbing with the release of tension. Thank god, you think to yourself, I can leave, I can get away, thank god, oh, thank you, oh my god.

Thirty minutes later you find yourself standing in front of a random hotel in St. Louis, broken-hearted and desperate.

And it’s painfully apparent.

The guy at the reception desk clearly sees that you’re in some sort of troubling situation, because he doesn’t ask any more questions than he has to. He smiles in that pitying way that strangers do when he hands you your room key, second floor, and you just nod weakly.

The room is comfortable. It’s unremarkable, really - clinically clean, the way hotel rooms are. You know they don’t clean the duvets, so you fold it down and crawl under the covers. You bring your knees to your chest and just rest for a moment. You close your eyes, big inhale, big exhale. I’m safe, you think to yourself.I’m finally safe.

The thought brings tears to your eyes, and in the company of yourself you cry, shaking sobs racking your body, fragile and sad and finally, finally safe. Your phone pulls you from the tears, ringing the tone you set specifically for one person; the only person on the planet you trust. Of course he’s calling, you think to yourself. No surprise there. His timing, coincidental or not, is unmatched.You slide answer on your phone screen, push the speaker to your ear with a sniffle.

“Dad?

”His voice, deep just like you remember, echoes through the other end. You haven’t heard him in a while, he’s been on a work trip, you thought, and yet here he is. Dad knows. “Kid?”

Your voice catches in your throat when you ask again, “Dad?”

“Hey, kid, are you okay?” That stereotypical concern lacing his words. It’s been weeks since you’ve talked over the phone, and here he finally is, exactly the way he was last time you spoke.

A hiccup as you say, “No - no, Dad, I’m…” Your words trail away. What are you supposed to say? Steven turned out to be an abusive prick, just like you’d always guessed. I’m in the middle of a place I don’t know, and I am so, so tired, Dad, I need you to save me. I need you to come here and save me because I don’t know if I can save myself from this - “You there?” He asks.

“Yeah, sorry.” You clear your throat. Better to go with the less explosive option. “Um, Dad, Steven and I broke up.”

A moment of silence.“The engagement’s off?”

“Yeah.” You sniffle.

Another pause. You can practically see him now, rubbing his forehead in that way Dads do when they know there’s something really bad going on but they don’t know if boundaries permit them to ask. He inhales and exhales hard. “Are you okay?”

You start to say yes, but your voice catches again, the lump in your throat like a terrible rock, throat constricted around it, and you begin to cry as you say once more, “No, I’m not, I don’t know where I am or what to do and I’m tired, Dad, I’m so tired of doing things. I’m tired of him and of everyone and of my life and I just - I want to get away.”

Once again, a pause. He’s got his index and middle fingers pressed into his cheek now, thumb supporting his chin, weighing your words. If he were a better man he would buy you a plane ticket; if he were worse, he would tell you it was your fault.But he is merely himself, and he clears his throat. “Okay. Okay.”

You rub your nose and sniffle again.

He asks, “Where are you, kid?”

“I - I don’t…” You start, then catch yourself. “One second.” You pull up Maps on your phone, then sigh. “I’m at a hotel in St. Louis.”

“St. Louis?” He whistles low. “That’s a ways away from Kansas, Dorothy.”

“Dad.“ You laugh despite yourself.

“I know, I know. Forgive me.” He coughs. “So, St. Louis. Missouri?” “Yeah.”

“Mkay. Do you want to come home?”

There’s a question. If you go back home, back to New York, you’ll be stuck in your apartment, and that’s...less than preferable. You’d rather not spend the next month in the bed you shared with him, every picture and appliance flooded with memories of the vile man you’d been engaged to. 

And anyways, this hotel room wasn’t that bad. Like you’d said earlier, clinical. No memories. A clean slate.“No - well, at least, not yet,” you sniffle.“Okay. Do you - are you in a good hotel? Do I need to get you a room somewhere nicer?”“No, no, Dad, I’m fine where I am.”

“Okay. Okay.”

“You don’t have to keep saying okay.”

He sighs on his end of the phone, and you can’t help yourself from smiling.

“Look, you’re an adult,” he says, “so I’m not going to micromanage you or anything. I mean, if it were your mother instead of me, you’d be on the next plane home. But I think maybe this, this time away, it’ll be good for you.”

“It will, Dad, I promise. I just can’t be anywhere he is right now.”

Another trademark pause.

“Did he hurt you, honey?”

You gulp.

“Y/N?”

Exhale. Don’t panic. If you can’t trust him, who can you trust?

“He was...abusive, yeah.” Sniffle. Tears threaten to flood your eyes but you hold them back with a sharp nip to your lip. “But I’m safe now. I’m safe.”

“I’ll make sure the son of a bitch can’t come within a mile - “

“No, Dad, you don’t have to - “

“I want to. Let me do this for you.”

You sigh. “Dad.”

“No. No leaning on this one.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.” You can practically hear the angry grin on his face. Men, you think to yourself. “You have your wallet, and money, and everything?”

You pat your other pocket, feel the ridges of your wallet pressing into the fabric. “Yeah.”

“Okay. What about clothes?”

“Uh….no.”

“No problem. I’ll make a few calls.”

“No - “

“Yes. I’ll text you with the details.”

You huff. “Fine.”

“Alright. You call me if you need anything, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Hey. I love you, kiddo.”

“Love you too.”

He hangs up first, and you find yourself sitting alone in the empty hotel room.

You’re not good at being alone. You come from a big family, five siblings, two parents; you’re used to noise, commotion, distractions. The hotel walls feel like they’re creeping in on you, big, silent rumblings as they crawl towards you slowly. The lack of noise is deafening, your skin is crawling, eyes itching for a distraction.

You need to get out.

There’s a bar a few blocks away, Yelp informs you as you weave through pedestrians on the sidewalk. Someone bumps your shoulder; you turn to look at them but they are already lost in the crowd of people. It’s a Friday night, everyone is getting out of work, just let it go. You’re going to get stampeded if you don’t keep moving - there’s already someone passing you, silently annoyed, you’re sure.

Paddy O’s, the sign high above the door says. From inside you can hear the hustle and bustle of a Friday night crowd, no doubt watching some event on the TVs above the bar. 

The door swings open and suddenly the noise loses its muffler as two beautiful women exit. One is tall, with deep, dark brown hair and striking features. Her left arm is draped around the shoulders of a smaller redheaded woman, who is laughing and holding her hand. The redhead has a pronounced accent and can’t get through three words without bursting into laughter. The taller woman is smiling down at her, chuckling.

They are dressed like they went to the bar immediately after work; that is to say, they’re dressed quite nicely. You look from the tall woman’s pantsuit to the redhead’s turtleneck and pants, and then to your own outfit. If their clothing is the usual for this place, then you are severely underdressed.

It’s a bar, Y/N, you think to yourself, shaking your head. You close your eyes and inhale steadily. You’ve got this.

After a few moments, you open your eyes again. The couple has disappeared from sight; probably back to their car. You walk to the doors and open one, entering the bar.

As expected, it’s loud, and it’s crowded, but there’s a seat at the bar a couple feet in that looks comfortable enough. You move through the surrounding patrons to take the seat, and order yourself an old fashioned - it’s your dad’s favorite, and you could use a little comfort right now.

The people on either side of you are deeply engaged in their own conversations. To your left is a woman of about 20, sitting with a man who you assume is her husband. From the small pieces of their conversation you can pick up on, she’s having a problem at work, and from the looks of it, he is humoring her by pretending to listen. You don’t know if she knows he’s not actually listening - but that’s not really your business. The guy to your right, you can tell, is one of those guys who peaked in high school. He’s chatting up the girl to his right about how his YouTube channel is just getting off the ground, and the merch line (you cringe at the phrase merch line) is coming out soon. 

So you’re by yourself, basically. The seat you’re occupying is your own little bubble in this bar, where you are the sole occupant. There’s nobody looking at you, nobody watching your move, listening to you order. No one is engaging you in conversation, trying to grab your attention. You are, just like in the hotel, completely alone.

And holy shit, you hate this.

Panic floods your veins, because oh god, this was a terrible idea. You are completely alone in a city you have never been in before and you decide to go to a fucking bar? In a random city? Oh, this takes the cake for stupid decisions. You really just up and decided to put yourself in a dangerous situation in a town where you have no one. Very smart.

You take a sip of your drink as the guy who peaked in high school and his date get up from their seats. The empty space makes you uncomfortable; you don’t want anyone to sit there but you also don’t want to be sitting next to open seats.

The glass is shaking in your hand. This is what you decide to focus on.

Deep breaths.

The breathing exercises don’t help, and the shaking is getting worse. You feel like crying as the rest of the Old Fashioned floods your mouth, the sweet liquid slipping down your throat as you swallow. The tears are gathering in your eyes again. You try to blink through them but it’s not working, everything is getting blurry and god damn it you’re crying at a bar you’ve never been to before in a city you’ve never seen and this all could’ve been avoided if you’d just flown home, you fucking idiot.

Someone’s sitting down in the empty seat to your right, and embarrassment heats your face. Your instinct tells you to get up and leave but you feel frozen to your seat so instead you just look away, look anywhere but the stranger to your right. 

“Excuse me, are you okay?” 

You can’t turn around because if you turn around the person will see you crying, and you cannot be seen crying by another stranger today, so you just bite your lip hard and nod, hoping the person will take the hint.

They do not, because who the fuck would ignore someone crying in a bar? Someone who looks remarkably out of place, and desperately in need of a friend?

“Hey, are you alright?” They ask again.

You hiccup, then laugh self-consciously. You turn to the stranger, a tall - wow, a remarkably tall man. He’s broad and, well, really, he’s built like a fridge. He’s huge. He towers over you so greatly that for a minute you think maybe you’re hallucinating, but the sad look of concern he’s giving you tells you that no, he’s real. “Do I look okay?” You ask.

He offers a sad smile. “You don’t want me to answer that.”

You laugh again. “Thanks.” You sniffle. “You’re the second random person to see me crying today, so. Congratulations.”

“I feel like maybe that’s not something I should be celebrating.”

“Yeah, probably not.”

He’s looking at you like you’re fragile, like you’re going to break, and it’s killing you, but he is company, and that’s what you need right now. You smile at him weakly. “Is this the part where I buy you a drink to apologize?”

That brings a smile to his face. He laughs, a low sound that you know comes from deep in his stomach, and the air feels a little lighter. “No, absolutely not. If anything, I’m buying you a drink.”

“God, no.” You exhale, and smiling comes a little easier. “I can barely hold the glass.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

“Probably.”

And here is the awkward pause. The pause where you debate whether or not he’s gonna continue talking to you. Are you worth his time? You can see in his face that he’s considering something - probably which excuse he’s gonna use to go back to his friends.

Surprisingly, he fills the silence. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re new here, right?” 

You nod. “I’m actually from New York.”

He actually laughs again at this. “Don’t take this wrong, but I can tell.”

“Oh, fuck you,” you laugh.

“No no no no no, it’s not a bad thing, I swear!”

“Okay, saying ‘I can tell you’re from New York’ is always a bad thing, you can’t just - “

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

You furrow your brows at him, smiling. “What’d you mean then, huh?”

“I just mean...you have that vibe, you know?”

A laugh bubbles up from your throat. “No! What’s that supposed to mean?”

He’s laughing too, both of you facing each other. “You’re confident. You know what you’re doing.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, unbelieving. “I’ve known you for all of, like, five minutes. In fact, I don’t even know you!”

“Oh, shit, I’m so rude, I’m sorry.” He extends a hand. “Colton Parayko.”

You take his hand, and as you do, you look him in the eyes.

For a moment, everything stops.

There’s something meaningful about the way he’s looking at you. Something important that you can’t quite put your finger on. He is, for a moment, seeing you. The music has paused; the bartender has frozen; the woman to your left has stopped talking. All that is, is your hand in his, the tender way he’s holding your hands, like he is rooting you in this moment.

And then you shake his hand. And you say, “Y/N L/N.” And you pretend that didn’t just happen, that you’re not still looking him dead in the eyes because you’re scared to look away.

When your hands part, you can’t help noticing that yours feels empty, cold. 

You spend another two hours talking to him. He is easy to talk to, really; he has a comfortable presence. By the end of the night you are facing each other in your seats, your knees touching. You’re leaning forward when you talk, and he’s got one arm on the bar, the other one gesturing wildly. 

Conversation flows like a river between you two. You talk about New York; he’s been there once or twice, he says.

“Oh, really? For what, a frat trip?”

He laughs. “No, for hockey.”

“Did you play in college?”

This is the funniest joke he’s ever heard, apparently, because it absolutely sends him. “No, no.”

“What did I say?” You ask. You’re confused, you thought it was a pretty normal question.

He looks away from you, and then makes eye contact again, you’re having another moment. “I like you,” he says, smiling.

You’re even more confused now. “I mean - thank you. I like you too, but what’s so funny?”

He clears his throat and looks down at the bar. “I play hockey for St. Louis.”

You aren’t in the middle of drinking anything, but this makes you choke. A strangled noise comes from your throat as you slap a hand over your mouth. He grins at you. 

You remove your hand slowly. “Like. The city.”

“Yeah.” He’s almost bashful about it.

“Wait. Wait wait wait wait. Wait. Hold on just a fucking second.”

“Okay - “

“I’ve been sitting here. Bitching to you about my life. For hours. And you couldn’t find the time to tell me you play for the fucking National Hockey League?”

He giggles, and the sound almost seems unnatural coming from someone his size. “That’s...about it, yeah.”

“Oh, I am such a dick!” You exclaim.

“What? No, no -”

“I spent this whole time talking about myself!” You huff, closing your eyes. “I am so sorry.”

He puts his hand on your hand, and your eyes shoot open. Every time he’s touched you tonight, every passing contact, you feel warm, and the butterflies in your stomach start to act up. You can feel your heart rate quicken as he says, “Don’t be sorry. You definitely needed it.”

You smile at him. “Thank you.”

There’s another pause in the conversation, but this time you’re the one debating. You like him - a lot. He’s so warm, and kind, and sweet, and you can tell he’s being genuine, that he’s not just being polite, but you don’t want him to think you’re desperate. You’re not. You just like him. A lot.

You speak up at the same time he does.

“So - “

“Can I - “

“Oh,” you laugh. “You go first.”

“No, no, ladies first,” he responds, gesturing to you. “The floor is yours, Ms. L/N.”

“Um, well.” Suddenly you feel embarrassed. “I kind of made tonight all about myself, and I think maybe I owe you, now.”

He looks surprised, but he’s smiling. “Yeah, you do, kind of.”

“Okay,” you laugh, rolling your eyes. “So. I don’t know how long I’m gonna be in town, but...maybe we can do this again, sometime?”

There’s something about the way he grins at you that lights up your heart, because your pulse is rapid as he says, “I think we can work something out.”

You trade phone numbers. He offers to walk you back to your hotel, but you decline - you did just meet him tonight. If this were New York, it’d be different, you’d invite him in for wine and maybe more, but this isn’t New York. Plus, part of you is just so tired. For the first time in what feels like years, you actually want to go to bed.

The night air is warm, and on the way back to the hotel room, all you can think about is the way his hand felt on yours.

When you reach your room, you slip your clothes off and get in the shower. You hadn’t realized how tight your back was earlier - the knots in your upper back are causing aches in your lower back. The hot water loosens the tension, and you can finally relax.

As you’re toweling off from your shower, your phone buzzes.

colton parayko

So, is it weird to ask if you’re free tomorrow?

Maybe being alone in St. Louis isn’t that bad after all.

And hey - 

You’re not really alone, are you?

[adorethedistance]

Artist!Harry Styles x reader blurb

A/n: Basically I have some thoughts every now and then and I need to write, but I know they won’t fit in any of the stories I’m writing. This isn’t proofread in full but whatever. Here’s a 1k word ANGSTY blurb about getting into an argument with Artist!Harry and feeling your heart break into a billion pieces. 

Words: 982

“You are so selfish, you know that?” The words feel like poison on my tongue, but I’m too angry to keep them from spewing out. “I’m selfish? Where were you Friday night that made you late to dinner?”

“Don’t even go there, that is not the same!”

“You were late for our anniversary date because you were spending the day with Jesse! How is that not the same?” Harry stares at me with an accusatory glare. His breathing has shortened into irritated huffs, and he subconsciously cards a ringed-hand through his curls to redirect the ringlet that fell in his face.

“Jesse is like a brother to me. He’s my mentor, NOT MY FUCKING EX!”

“I don’t get why you’re upset! Camile and I are still on good terms. She was helping me as a friend!”

“The assignment was a nude portrait, Harry. ‘Friends’ don’t just undress for one another like Jack and Rose on the fucking titanic!”

“Are you jealous of her? Is that what the problem is? It’s not my fault that you’re insecure about your body, Y/n. She isn’t, and that’s why I chose her. It’s as simple as that.”

“It’s not ‘simple as that’. The problem isn’t me and my body, it’s that you didn’t even think about talking to me first,” I say as my vocal cords betray me. Hot salt tears pile up on my lower lashes. I just wish I could shut up and Harry would hold me, and everything would be okay again.

But that’s not how life goes.

Pain doesn’t cut corners.

“I didn’t feel like I had to! I thought you trusted me but clearly you don’t.”

“I trusted you to talk to me,” I reduced my voice to a whisper, in fear of the sound giving out completely. The invisible viper of anguish constricts my chest, and I can feel my heart physically aching.

Is this what it feels like? To feel your heart pathetically rip into two?

“Fuck,” Harry sighs. His anger hasn’t dissolved into upset like mine. His face is as hard as his heart at the moment.

I wish it wasn’t.

“What do we do?” He says, exasperated. This time after he runs his hand through his hair, it lingers to scratch the stretch of skin between his nose and the inner corner of his left eye. It’s inauthentic for other people, but I know it’s just Harry. Because I know Harry.

I know the way he takes his coffee. Black with ice and a half packet of sugar. I know the way he acts when he’s sick. Needy for attention but opts to suffer in silence. I know his comfort  movies. Love Actually and Titanic. I know his favorite things about me. My laugh and my thighs, both of which I’m not fond of, but he always smiles and says that just means he’ll have to love them for me.

I know all of these things about Harry because I love him. I love him. I loved him

I can’t bring myself to speak. All I can do is shrug and continue to let my tears fall.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asks in a hushed tone. His eyes are troubled and pleading; chipping away at the last scraps of composure I had left.

“I don’t know.”

Harry’s response to my indecision is to leave. Whenever I was unsure of something, Harry would respond by choosing what he thought was best for the both of us. For me.

The chilled air of his body brushing past mine, overwhelms me like a tidal wave. Harry moves to shrug on his coat, slip on his boots, and disappear without a trace, isolating me in my own apartment.

He doesn’t slam the door. He doesn’t gently click the lock into place either. The action is expressionless. Inhuman, almost.

The sharp sound of the closing door is the final nail in the coffin that makes me fall apart. I feel like all of the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. My house is now a vacuum of my despair.

I gasp as I collapse to the ground. My knees take most of the impact and will begin to bruise over immediately. I can’t bring myself to care. Sobs of hurt and pain, anger and guilt, regret and fear, overtake my body. I’m heaving into the floor that once supported my feet and Harry’s. God, why can’t I breathe? Why can’t I live without him? How can I live without him?

I realize laying on the floor doesn’t solve my problems, but right now it just feels good. It feels good to have the surface area of the floor cradle me. A last resort for some semblance of support.

From my position on the floor, my eyes drift upwards and mockingly land on a piece of Harry’s art. A christmas gift in which he abstracted my favorite picture of the two of us. The place on the painting that’s meant to be our faces still displays our smiles but in a completely illusional way.

He bought those paints the day we met. On the first day of still life, he kept stealing glances in my direction and at the end of class, he had worked up the nerve to come talk to me. He made up a lame excuse about needing a ‘“female opinion” for buying certain paint colors.

Harry didn’t need new paints, he just wanted a reason to be around me.

Now he doesn’t want to be in the same room, same house, as me. Harry has always cradled my heart in his hands like it was made from the daintiest glass. It would have hurt less if he had simply thrown it onto the ground and left. Instead, he let it slip between his pale fingertips and watched it shatter with a neutral expression. 

***

Part two here.

[3mmafr0st]

Remember Me Pt 4

Previous <------

Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: SMUT, angst, swearing, incarceration? and my shitty writing

A/N: Please comment or reblog, any feedback is amazing! 

The room was small, with an interrogation table in front of me, everything the same shade of muted grey I woke up here earlier, and had been waiting for someone, anyone to come in and give me some information. Tugging at the cuffs that pinned me down to the table, I struggled to break free. 

“Sorry, you’re not gonna be able to get out of those. They’re made for enhanced people.” My eyes immediately darted to find the sound, settling on a man walking through the door.

“It’s you, from the lab. Who are you, how do you know my name? Where’s Bucky?” The questions began spilling out of my mouth, desperate for some sort of answers as to what the hell is going on. The man pulled out the chair that sat across from me, a file of papers in his hands.

“My name is Bruce, and let’s start with how much you remember,” He said. The name felt familiar, and although I was fighting him off before, I knew that I could trust him for some reason. His face was kind, and his voice was low and calming.

“It’s bits and pieces, nothing before Hydra, although I wish I did know, how do you know me?” 

“Your name is Y/N Banner, a young scientific prodigy in quantum physics. According to records, you were the only one who was able to crack the secret of the Pym particle. You disappeared when you were nineteen years old after a college party, and no one had seen you since until now.” Banner, that was my last name, Banner. It had a nice ring to it, it felt powerful, strong. 

“How long has it been since then?” He takes a deep breath, contemplating whether he should tell me or not.

“It’s been thirty-seven years.” It felt like a punch to the gut, they stole that much time from me. They stole thirty seven years from my life. Rage began coarsing through my veins, I needed to expel this, now. I smashed my hands into the table, before letting out an annoyed “fuck” from the pain. My hands left a small dent in the metal table.

“I’m sorry about the table, it's just, when you find out 37 years have been stolen from you, its hard to control your anger.”

“I know the feeling, believe me.” His hand fell over mine, and his eyes met mine, and although it was cloudy, something bubbled to the surface.

“Hey Stats, do you think I could get a hand with this?” Bruce’s voice called through the house. I rounded out of my own room to the room next door, where Bruce sat on his bed, books spread across the sheets and papers in every direction. His eyes looked up to me, pleading for help.

“Okay kid, what’s going on?” 

“It’s this parabola problem, I’ve tried it like a billion times!” I laughed a little at his remark

“Bud, you and I both know that a billion is a bit of an overstatement. Let me see what we can do.” I saw the mistake immediately, a small computing error that he had been doing every single time. I circled the small mistake that had been throwing the whole problem off. He groaned loudly, letting out an annoyed “Really?” 

“It’s gonna be okay, it was just a little computing error is all, there’s nothing to worry about.” 

The two of us just sat, talking about school and stuff, how we were excited for the new school year. Bruce’s face fell, halfway through my sentence about the dorms.

“Bruce, what’s wrong?” He held his tongue for a moment, eyes beginning to get glassy.

“Why do you have to go away this year? Why can’t you just stay here, like regular?” I sighed. I knew he would react like this. I was finally 18, which meant legally, I could move out. Although I had completed most of my time in college at home already, I was going for my second doctorate and I wanted to finally have the chance to have the normal college experience, or at least as close to it as I could get. I needed to be an adult for once, be seen as an adult and not the child prodigy that I had always been seen as. 

“Buddy, you know I want to be with you, hell, I’d bring you with me if I could, but they don’t allow 8 year olds in college dorms. I need to be an adult now, and I can’t do that staying home.” His eyes began to water, and I opened my arms out to him.  “Come here, buddy.” 

Bruce cried like that for a half an hour, as I held the small boy in his sadness, until he began to drift off to sleep.

“You’re the boy?” I said, looking at him. He definitely looked like the boy from my memory, but much older, with more lines on his face and a small scraggly bit of stubble, as if he had forgotten to shave, with a floppy curly mess on top, just like the boy had. 

“What boy?” He asked tentatively, his eyes telling the story of hesitation and hurt, like he was holding back hope in fear of his heart breaking another time. 

“There was a boy. I helped him with his math homework. He cried and I held him, his name was Bruce.” 

“You remember?”

“Im starting.”

“You ok?” Steve asked me, nudging my arm. His eyes looked down at me in concern but I reassured him. 

“I’m okay, Steve, I’ll be okay.”

“Tony couldn’t get us rooms next to each other, you’re on the fifth floor, I’m on the second.” 

“Sounds good.” 

Steve and I had grown to become pretty great friends since I got back. Steve and Bruce were the only ones that I felt safe enough around to talk to at the compound even from the beginning. I spent most of my time in the past few months either spending time with Bruce, and recovering my memories, or working with Steve to find Bucky. Spending my days going through mounds of papers and mission reports, to lunch dates working in the lab to help me regain that one and a half PhDs of information had been a daily occurrence and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Well, I would have it one other way. The only thing that would have made it better would be if Bucky was here with me. That’s why we were here, to find him and bring him home. We found a lead that told us he had been in Nevada for a while, specifically Vegas. We had booked a room at the hotel that he had been seen at.

As the elevator doors opened, Steve held the door open for me. “Get a good night’s sleep, we’ll get to work in the morning.”

“See ya in the morning, Steve.”  I told him, as the doors began to close, leaving me in the hallway of the fifth floor. It was nice of him to go with me all the way up the elevator. I walked the long and winding halls until I found the right number, room 2603. Swiping the small key card against the scanner, the door clicked open and I walked inside. The room was clean, and out of complete habit, I began scanning the room for bugs, checking around the room to make sure nothing was listening in. Once I sweeped the place, the bed began to call to me, and I abandoned my clothing, before getting myself into bed, only a comfy shirt and panties left clinging to my body. With all the work that we had been doing to find Bucky, it was nice to have a chance to at least try and get some rest. 

Bucky’s POV 

I had hoped that she would come. There wasn’t much that I remembered, not yet at least, but she was coming back to me. I didn’t know how I knew here, but she was important, I could feel it. I knew the other guy was there two, Steve, the one I knew a long time ago, but for some reason, I knew I needed to see her. The two of them were important to me, I just knew it. There was an abandoned building to the side of the hotel that they were staying at, and I could see into the window of her room. The lights were dark, as she slept comfortably in her bed. I knew I shouldn’t, but I had to get closer, to see her. The clear, glassless window that I sat at was a clear shot from the balcony of her room. 

Backing up from the edge, I took in a deep breath, calming my heart rate as I began running towards the opening. Pushing off the cement framing, I launched myself into the air, pushing myself forward even more until I felt my feet hit the cement of the balcony. 

I could see her in there, sleeping. Somewhere inside of my head I knew this whole thing was wrong, but I couldn’t seem to stay away from her. It was creepy, wrong, but she looked so peaceful and innocent. It was a familiar feeling, not being in control, but this was different. 

My head screamed out about how wrong this was, how disgusting I was being, while the rest of me was breaking the lock off of the door, walking into the room. The sound of the lock breaking and the door opening must have been too much sound, her body shot up in her bed, looking straight at me.

Reader POV

This has to be a dream, it couldn’t be anything else, a lucid dream that my brain had created to cope with the nightmares. There he stood, in the same room as me, dirty jacket and a baseball cap. His hair had gotten longer, like he hadnt been able to get it cut.

“Bucky?” My voice wavered with nerves and emotion, so scared that the man would disappear if I acknowledged that he’s here.

“You know me.” His voice was low and gruff, like he hadn’t had to use it in a while. I could feel my heart break. Although it was a statement and not a question. I could tell that he wasn’t all there, he didn’t remember me. Was this what Bruce felt like? Was this what it was like for him to see me, to know me, but the memory unreciprocated? A tear began to fall down my face, unable to control it.

“Yes, Buck, I know you.”

“Who are -“ he struggled to speak. “Who are you to me?” The knife that was already gutting me twisted into my stomach even more.

“Do you want to come closer?” I tried to keep calm as I spoke, not wanting to scare the man off. He was reluctant to come near me. “I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“In all fairness, that's not what I’m worried about, doll.” There was a flash of him, of my Bucky pushing through the fog to find me. I must have taken too long. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that, I-“

“Come here, please.” Hesitantly, he walked closer, but not close enough. Pulling the covers off of myself, I rose from the bed, walking to meet him in the middle.

“Who are you?” He was close, his breath fanning my face as I looked up at him.

“Can I show you?” He nodded, almost desperately, and I closed the gap between us, pushing myself into him and meeting my lips with his. At first he was shocked, not moving his lips against my own, but after a moment, it was as if pure instinct took over, as his mouth roughly kissed mine, pushing me back into the bed.

My back hit the covers, and I gasped out in surprise, giving Bucky the chance to deepen the kiss. Our tongues battled for dominance for a short while, but he won out in the end. I wrapped my fingers in his hair, tugging slightly. The man groaned out into my mouth, sending the feeling straight to my core. 

Fuck, it had been too long. His hands were on me, holding my waist down on the bed. I gasped out, feeling as his metal hand had found its way under my shirt, playing with the flesh, twisting and pinching at my nipple; My hips bucked up, rolling over his clothed dick, and he let out a louder moan.  I tested, rolling my hips over a few more times, before Bucky got impatient.

Bucky’s hand immediately trailed downward, slipping his hand past my panties. Two fingers pressed at my clit, and I cried out, hypersensitive after being away from him for so long. He was oddly silent, no clever quips or comments that I had been used to. I still couldn’t tell how much he really remembered. 

His fingers began to make rough and harsh circles on my clit, making my back curl up into his chest.

“Fuck, Bucky, please!” I cried out, absolutely wrecked just by his touch after so long away from him. Quickly, fingers moved downwards, circling my entrance before easing them into me. Eyes rolled into the back of my head as he found that spongy spot inside of me, curling his fingers over it. I could feel the tightened knot in my stomach threatening to snap.

“Buck-“ I cried out as he suddenly sped up, pushing his fingers in and out of me as fast as he could. Screaming out, the knot snapped, my vision going white as the tsunami like wave passed through my body. Bucky slowed down his fingers, working me through my orgasm until the feeling had passed.

The sound of his belt unbuckling was music to my ears, knowing what was coming. The anticipation was absolutely killing me, as I heard fabric shift, feeling the rough fabric of his jeans slide away, along with his boxers. My head threw back as he began to tease, running the tip of his dick up and down me, never getting quite near where I needed him most.

“Bucky please, fuck me,” I breathed out, barely able to catch my own breath. He began to line himself up with me, and then suddenly without warning, slammed his hips into me. “Holy fuck, Bucky!”

His fingers dug into my hips harshly, I hoped that it would leave bruises after. His hips pistoned into me fast and harsh, the man knew what he wanted and he was going to get it, and goddamn it felt fucking good. His lips claimed mine, swallowing the sounds coming from my throat. It was like he was everywhere, I could only feel him. 

It was all too overwhelming, and with little warning, my second orgasm hit me like a freight train. I cried out for him, as his hips began to falter from his pace, getting closer and closer to his release. His dick twitched inside of me, and I felt as he spilled inside me, filling me up.

The sun began to creep through the window, waking me up. Confused, I got up from the hotel bed, I could have sworn that I had left the blinds shut when I fell asleep last night. I was pleasantly surprised with my own head last night. Normally, when my head hit the pillow, all I would see were the faces of the people I killed, reliving the awful memories that I have to deal with, but last night was different. I got to see Bucky. It was so real, his hands on my skin, his fingers and dick inside me. 

I examined the door, looking for a moment, and noticing the lock that had been crushed, pulled out, and sat on the balcony. I couldnt understand what happened, until I looked at my own body. Lifting up my shirt slightly, I could see the purple indentations of his fingertips, Bucky’s fingertips.

It hadn’t been a dream after all.

[annabethy]

secret relationships!

in which their relationship is in the open and it’s nothing like she expected,, part 3,, percabeth (i got stuck on this for a week so if you’re cringing, don't worry bc i am too lol)

Annabeth can’t stand still right now. No matter how hard she tries to, she knows that there is no preventing herself from pacing in circles around her apartment. Percy is perched carefully on her bed, watching her with humor in his eyes.

“Come here,” he says, opening his arms towards her. She walks into the space between his legs, reluctantly letting him pull her onto his lap. His arms wrap around her back, and she buries her face against his chest.

“I’m scared.”

“I know.” He kisses the top of her head. “It’ll be okay.”

“She’s going to hate me.”

“Calypso is not going to hate you,” Percy tries, rubbing her back. “You’re her best friend.”

“Exactly. I’m her best friend, and I’m dating the guy she’s in love with. A best friend doesn’t do that.”

“You didn’t plan for this to happen.”

“But it did,” Annabeth says, frustrated.

She really has no idea how it happened. She never would’ve let this happen, but it happened anyways. She fell in love with the guy her best friend has wanted to be with for years, but it’s worse because Annabeth didn’t say anything. She let Calypso go on about Percy as though nothing was happening — as though Annabeth hasn’t been hooking up with Percy for weeks.

Percy, sweet and all too good for her, kisses the top of her head and holds her tighter. “You’ll be okay.”

“When I end up a loser with no friends, will you still love me?” Annabeth asks.

“I’ll be your friend,” he says.

“That’s something that you’d say to a loser with no friends.”

Percy chuckles and flops backwards onto the bed, dragging Annabeth up over him. She straddles his waist, balancing herself on her arms in front of her, and she frowns.

“You’re too calm about this, Jackson.”

Percy’s fingers thread in her hair to bring her face down to his. She keeps her face still as he kisses her, and he snorts against her lips. “Really?”

“I refuse to kiss you if you’re going to make fun of me.”

“I’m not!” he says, laughing.

Annabeth lays down on top of him, ignoring the breath that is forced out of him as she elbows his stomach. “Do you seriously think that she’s not going to murder me on sight?”

“I seriously think that she’s not going to murder you on sight,” he says, a teasing tone to his voice. “You need to calm down or you’re going to worry yourself sick.”

“I’m already worrying myself sick,” she says.

“She’s not going to be here for another hour,” he says. “You didn’t sleep last night. Why don’t you take a nap?”

“I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole situation.”

“So stop thinking, and you’ll be able to sleep.”

Annabeth rolls her eyes, but Percy doesn’t see her do it. She snuggles closer against him with no intentions of actually sleeping, but she’s just so exhausted with everything that it’s hardly a surprise when her eyes start to close. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registers Percy pulling a blanket over the two of them when it suddenly becomes much warmer.

She’s in such a deep sleep that she doesn’t notice the telltale sound of her front door lock clicking. She certainly doesn’t hear the door creak open or the footsteps down the hall that follow. It’s not until someone’s clearing her throat that her eye cracks open languidly, and she spots Calypso standing by her bed.

Annabeth wishes that she had shot up immediately, but her brain is still half-asleep so instead she shoves her face into Percy’s chest and stretches. It finally does click a few seconds later and then she’s finally separating her tangled limbs from Percy.

Calypso blinks at the scene, and then she’s looking at Annabeth. Annabeth has always been able to read Calypso’s face, but right now, she can’t tell a single thing.

Percy’s arm is still thrown partly around her waist, and Annabeth can’t think of a single thing to say.

“So.” Calypso clears her throat and pointedly looks at Percy. “Do you have something to tell me?”

“Calypso—”

Calypso cuts her off, holding a finger up at her. “So you and Percy?”

“I was going to tell you.”

“Were you though?” Annabeth notices a gleam in Calypso’s eye, and she has never been more confused than when Calypso begins to smirk. She goes to smother her smile, but Annabeth has already caught sight of it. “Tell me, Annabeth. How long have you and Percy been fucking?”

Annabeth chokes, and she hears Percy’s strangled cry behind her. “What?”

“I think I already know when all this,” Calypso gestures in their general direction, “began, but I want to hear it from you.”

Annabeth is so thrown off her game that she doesn’t know what else to say, so she just mutters, “A few months.”

“A few months,” Calypso repeats. There is a long pause, and Annabeth hears a ringing in her ears. Unexpectedly, Calypso starts laughing. “It took you long enough! I thought you were never going to tell me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Calypso crawls onto the bed, shamelessly shoving Percy away from her and settling next to Annabeth herself. Percy awkwardly rolls away, but there is still a smile on his face. “We’ve been best friends our whole lives. You really thought I wouldn’t know when my two closest friends started dating?”

“But you were always talking about how in love with him you were!”

Calypso snorts. “Yeah, that ended a while ago. I really just kept up with this whole façade because I wanted to see how far I could go before you have a mental breakdown.”

Annabeth presses her face into the bed, and Calypso does the same into the small of her back. “So you knew?” she confirms, muffled.

“It was painfully obvious,” Calypso says.

Suddenly, Annabeth feels so much like crying. She’s spent months lying to her best friend, putting herself through this torture, and there was no reason for it. If she had just trusted Calypso, then…

“I’m sorry for lying to you,” Annabeth manages, teary eyed.

“You better fucking be. I’ll let you off with a warning this time because in your defense, you did kind of think I wanted his children. But next time, I will cut your dick off.”

“I don’t have a dick.”

“Your metaphorical but also very physical dick.” Calypso laughs at her own joke and Annabeth’s misery. “I’m serious, though. If I thought I was falling in love with my best friend’s man, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

“I love you,” Annabeth tells her friend. “So much.”

Calypso gives Annabeth a big, wet kiss on the cheek. “I love you more.” And she turns towards Percy. “You, sir, are a terrible influence. Making my sweet Annabeth lie to me.”

Percy raises his hands in surrender. “My bad.”

“How could I ever have liked such a peasant?” Calypso shudders dramatically. “To be clear, I never actually wanted your babies. I was just bothering Annabeth.”

“Sure.”

“Jackson,” she warns, sitting up on the bed. She swings her legs over the edge before continuing. “Don’t hurt my baby.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

With that, Calypso works towards the door, leaving the two adults in a state of overwhelming confusion. “Now, I’m going to go. You two can have lots of celebratory sex! I give you my permission,” she says, and then she’s out of Annabeth’s bedroom, the apartment door slamming shut only moments later despite the two of them calling after her.

Annabeth is only a bit flustered for what just happened, but Percy seems to already have recovered as he rolls her back on top of him. Her hair frames over them as she leans to reach his face, where he presses a long kiss to her lips. Annabeth thinks her brain is short wiring because there is no way that Calypso walks into the apartment for two seconds just to tell Annabeth she knew before leaving. Except that’s exactly what happened. She was like a fairy, in and out at the snap of her fingers.

“I told you it would be fine,” he says against her lips. “Shut up,” she says, because he did tell her. It feels so good to have it out in the open now, and to know that Calypso supported her made her feel even better. It’s a weight off her shoulder, and it’s been minutes, but she is so much lighter already.

She has the two people she loves most by her side, and that’s all that mattered to her. She is no longer stuck in the sweetest misery, and it has never felt too good to leave. She now can take a step out into her future, so she lets herself do just that, wrapped tightly in Percy’s arms and her best friend in hand.