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#and I'm by no means completely recovered
passthroughtime · 5 months
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Why do we put so much value on truths, if all they do is crush us?
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dreamlogic · 8 months
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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)
#ctxt#i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections#to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh#going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long#while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time#but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed#to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach#and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me#and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually#i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever#i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it#money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out#but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now#genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year#and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough#to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last#in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was#bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive#and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there#but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety#it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it#i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults#i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed#instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things#and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need#chronic blogging
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formulatrash · 1 year
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What do you think about Daniel Ricciardo?
idk if it was the water at Enstone or whether Cyril was treating him well or whatever but his hair has never looked as good as it did when he was at Renault
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quarklynx · 26 days
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Casually flirting with the idea of fucking around and getting a master's degree. The time will pass anyway, right?
#lynx thinks#oh nooooooooooooooooo#nooooo i can feel the urge to be crazy and act on my hubris#ive just been talking to the grad students in the theater program and theyre taking like 9 credits a semester#and its all stuff that seems interesting or fun or at the very least useful unlike my undergrad degree#and im like... i can already sew as well as if not better than these grad students. i can for sure draw better for any designs i come up w#heck i can draw better than the current head costume designer faculty member for the university#so the little overcommitting gremlin in my brain is like ''yoi could totally do it. do it.''#and the other part of me is like ''im already so tired just from working again after needing to recover from burnout. how would i even?#so I'm sitting here Thinking about it...#a masters degree in theater might be better for finding work at a pre-existing institution than just a bachelors in art#and it might be better than a masters in art too#I'd have to stop taking commissions completely probably if i did it for the sake if time#but if i somehow got an assistantship position? then maybe?? i could do it?#oooooooh i hrm so hard y'all#its only been a week since moving and ao much is still in boxes. im only working part time but I'm tired now so much#idk if its just because my stamina levels have atrophied or what but im so. tired. these days#and by these days i mean in the last week.#maybe a week isn't long enough of a sample to work from.#im hoping my energy levels will even out a bit but with the time zone change and the fact that I'm almost 30 I'm not sure if it will?#so thats worrying#i actually kind of see why people seem to drink coffee every day now#I've definitely been eating a lot more normally since i started. both in timing and quantity#i still have projects of my own to work on i cant afford to be so eepy orz
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goldeneyedgirl · 1 year
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Oh boy, this is probably so irrelevant to you, but I've read the little piece you made for Babyverse about Jasper having to leave Alice and their son to go hunt and I swear I wept, thinking that's exactly how my baby brother gets everytime I leave. Literally the cutest AU ever made!!! Also, I have a weak spot for Damage Alice. May I ask for some of any of these two masterpieces?
This is absolutely not irrelevant - I'm not around small children, so I am relying entirely luck and vague memories to make any depiction of Ollie convincing, and I am SO glad that I am on the right track!
You caught me in a weak moment, so have a little of both <3
babyverse.
It’s been six fucking weeks since he’s seen them, and he’s trying to convince himself that this is another false lead, another dead-end, even as he presses his foot further on the accelerator. 
He knows the old motel he’s going to - it’s been abandoned for decades, with a cracked sign caked in filth declaring it the Rose Spring. It’s a thrice condemned shit-hole, untouched because of alleged chemical leaks or something that the government don’t want to have to clean up to sell the land off. It’s irrelevant though; the Rose Spring, like all the other falling-down, forgotten motels across the country, is a regular haunt for vampires looking to avoid the sun, to meet other travellers, to pass messages back and forth. 
He pulls into the motel, barely shutting off the ignition as he gets out. The back is laden with supplies, and he pauses only long enough to grab the bag that Esme has labelled with a big red cross. 
The stairs are flimsy and buckle under his step - no place for a human. Half the balcony has collapsed, and at least two of the rooms have crumbled in on themselves - probably in the last storm. 
Room 37 is tucked in the corner, and he doesn’t bother to knock as he throws open the door. 
Ollie is sitting on the first rancid, rotting bed and his face lights up as he sees Jasper, his arms stretching out towards him. He’s wearing filthy, mismatched clothing that aren’t his, and is sucking on a pacifier again, and for some reason that’s more upsetting than anything else to Jasper - he was just beginning to give it up before everything happened. And now it’s back. 
Maria is seated on the bed with Ollie, looking equally as filthy and surprisingly solemn. 
“You made it faster than I anticipated,” she says, standing up and motioning to Ollie as the bed tilts slightly without her weight. “He’ll be hungry, but he’s unharmed.”
Ollie makes a whining noise as soon as he’s in Jasper’s arms; a reassuring weight, but Ollie is about to start crying. 
“Where’s Alice?” He demands, rubbing his son’s back and hoping they can get out of here, and back north tonight; somewhere they can clean up and talk and he can make sure that they’re okay. 
Maria looks grimmer and motions for him to follow her out the door and into the next room. 
Ollie gets agitated, straining towards Alice the second they set foot in the second room. 
The scent of blood saturates the air.
Alice is lying on the bed, unconscious. There’s an angry wound on her head, and bother her arms. Some rough bandages have been wrapped around her leg, and it’s obvious that someone - perhaps Maria - tried to clean her up. 
“Alice?” His alarm is evident in his voice, and he almost hands Ollie off to Maria to go to her side before his brain clicks back into place. “Alice, can you hear me?”
Ollie’s reaching more and his whimpers are turning to wails as Alice doesn’t flinch.
“For god’s sake, give me the child, and deal with your mate,” Maria says, almost crossing. “I didn’t eat him before, I’m not going to eat him now.”
damaged alice.
The race to the ballet studio is the longest journey of his life.
Alice can’t defend herself. She’s never fought in her life. When Maria came to Calgary, Alice had been carefully protected by Esme and Emmett. 
He’s never run faster in his life. 
The scene that he finds in the ballet studio is one that fills him with anger and terror, and his first instinct is to get Alice out. 
Not Bella bleeding out on the floor and screaming (oh god, he knows that scream) with an extremely broken leg. 
Or to destroy James, with his joker-smile.
Alice is standing over Bella, blood on her face and dress and hands, and she’s getting upset about it, a thin cry coming out of her mouth as she stares down at her maybe-future-best-friend’s blood smelling so tempting…
But when James laughingly steps forward towards Bella, Alice growls protectively. 
He swoops in, barely pausing as he grabs Alice and gets her out of James’ reach, smoothing her hair as he tries to look her in the eyes; but Alice’s eyes dart, never meeting his. Not a surprise that today would become a bad one, that Alice can’t communicate right now. 
(James was alone with her for too long; he hates himself for that. He’s terrified she’s been hurt in some way, that the damage is worse than being slathered in her maybe-friend’s blood. )
“Are you okay?” 
As soon as the words are out, James slams into him from nowhere, and he can’t worry about Alice or Bella in that moment. 
But all he can hear are Alice’s soft cries from where she’s standing in the corner. 
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whysamwhy123 · 7 months
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*surveys the landscape of Revolution and sighs deeply*
#aew lb#OC's gonna lose to the unfunny neckbrace meme guy#Because they have to try and make him feel like a threat again after spending months treating him like a complete joke#And to give Glassman Adam Cole and his merry band of midcarders something to do while MJF recovers#DG's gonna lose to - and probably join - Christian and his stupid faction#And the blackhole of awful booking that is the TNT championship picture will claim another victim#And because GOD FORBID Christian or Edge put over any young talent. Why that would be ridiculous! That's not what wrestling is about!#And perhaps worst of all#Swerve is gonna lose the world championship match#Confirming my suspicions that the only reason they reignited the Swerve/Hangman feud so soon after it ended#Was so that they could give Swerve a title match...and have Hangman take the pin#Because despite being the best thing in the entire fucking company by a country mile - AEW simply WILL NOT put a fucking belt on him#I mean why would they? They have a cavalcade of 50-year-old WWE guys and New Japan cast-offs they'd rather push instead 🙂🙂🙂#So all he's gonna do is meander around the title picture without ever getting a singles championship run of his own#And this all SUUUUUUUUUUUCKS#Just UGGGGGGGGGH#Bad booking. Booking bad.#I would fucking looooooove to be proven wrong on all counts here#Or at the very least I hope I'm wrong about Swerve#Because if not...I might just be done with AEW entirely#Not even Mercedes showing up will keep me invested because why should I have any faith that they won't book her like shit too?#When all I have is evidence to the contrary?#Obligatory 'this is just my opinion and it's cool if you feel differently about any or all of this'#But...I cannot understand how y'all are enjoying AEW anymore. It's been TRASH for soooo long now this shit is DIRE.#And my patience has been thoroughly worn through
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I don't get the point of hating on someone for liking a fictional character, unless they're like actively using that character's flawed ideologies in real life. I've followed you for quite a while and you've been nothing but sensible
Plus yeah, Ulfric is a well written character. He is interesting. Personally, I'm a diehard Imperial, but I admit he's one of the most intriguing characters in the game even if I disagree with him entirely.
It's a poll about game characters, people, and not even their ideologies. Stop using this for targeting people.
I'm touched that you think I'm sensible because that is exactly what I try to be with this blog (and irl but I digress)! Thank you.
It comes back to the (wrong) idea that people can't write about or engage with something without fully supporting what that thing is saying. I used to be a diehard Loki fangirl and I never agreed with his attempted genocide of Jotunheim or invasion of Earth or his usurpations of Odin or his numerous attempts to kill Thor. I just thought he was a compelling character and oh so pretty ahhh but there are people who condemn fans just for liking him. If we had that mentality with everyone in irl, I imagine many of us would have few friends, if any.
We're all here to have fun. Who actually signed up for Tumblr wanting to sow discord and cause (bad) drama? Not many, realistically. A few, maybe, but they're not worth engaging with.
You're right: stop using this fun fandom activity for targeting people.
Also: I respect your Ulfric opinions. They're valid. Thank you for being so nice.
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littlegildedswallow · 8 months
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you losers will see a thin woman existing and rush to let her know how sick and disgusting and starved she looks. I'm becoming so disillusioned with the body positivity movement.
can't even talk about how nutrition and being careful about what you put in your body are important without some performative insecure idiot having a meltdown about diet culture.
everyone's willing to make video essays and write theses on counting calories being "inherently unhealthy", "almond moms" and people who very obviously have an unhealthy, deficient diet. these same people will then turn around and pretend that stuffing your face with empty calories with no nutritional value, greasy, fried shit and ungodly amounts of sugar five times a day everyday is "self care" and "knowing what's right for my body and giving it what it needs 🥺🥰💖".
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erabundus · 2 years
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genuinely,  lovingly,  as  much  as  he's  in  a  better  headspace  now  and  as  much  as  he  desires  solitude,  leaving  wanderer  to  his  own  devices  for  extended  periods  of  time  is  a  recipe  for  DISASTER. please check up on him.
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gideonisms · 2 years
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thought about working a job again 20 dead 40 injured
#thought about existing in the world again 20 dead etc#would love to get to the point where thinking about having to live my life instead of sitting in my apartment doesn't make me cry!#eventually my savings from 2 years of the soul killing job + living with my aunt will run out#not like. right now or even within the next few months bc. i worked so hard to save all of that bc i knew i was about to crash again#but eventually#like. when i got that job i did have to come home and cry a lot until i adjusted and then i only cried sometimes#it got to where i would have my 2-3 predictable breakdowns a month pause everything to have the breakdown#call in or skip class or whatever#and then recover faster#but the fact is i was still having like screaming in my car breakdowns a couple times a month#i was just like waiting for a private location#if i think about continuing to do that forever i really want to throw up#you can never explain why sometimes you have to isolate yourself completely for a bit either!#what are you even supposed to say#i got really good at being like oh i'm just tired from work need a nap!#but then people could tell i wasn't doing anything but going to work and coming home and getting in bed#idk how i passed those classes#i mean i didn't pass all of them#most#it's just like life is so stressful and you can't even explain why and people's advice is stop getting overwhelmed#i would also like to stop!!#or they'll be like just find a less stressful job! where?? i've tried
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konstantya · 2 years
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It always happens--I get caught up writing something (this time a long-overdue review for one of my all-time fave romance novels), RL shit drags me away from it, and once RL shit is done, I’m no longer in the right headspace to finish whatever I was writing.
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awearywritersworld · 8 months
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megumi's teacher — gojo satoru x reader
tags/warnings: fluff. fem!reader. gojo beefing with an eight year old. 700 words.
ever since megumi started the second grade, it's been (l/n)-sensei this. (l/n)-sensei that.
gojo picks up megumi's favorite ice cream, only to be scolded by the young boy. "(l/n)-sensei's favorite flavor is strawberry, so that's my favorite now!"
gojo tries to help him with his math homework, and it's "(l/n)-sensei did it this way. that means you should too!"
gojo reaches down to tie megumi's shoes for him, before his hand is promptly smacked away. "(l/n)-sensei said big boys tie their own shoes!"
honestly, gojo is starting to feel a little jealous. megumi's known you for what? two months?
he's been raising megumi for the past few years, but does that earn him an ounce of the adoration the young boy seems to have for you?
apparently not, though he perseveres nonetheless.
he and megumi are spending the afternoon out in the city and they stop at a small bakery for lunch.
while megumi is distracted looking at all the sweets behind the glass counter, the bell on the door draws gojo's attention.
his eyes fall upon a pretty young woman. actually, you might just be the prettiest woman he's ever seen.
and of course, a smirk forms on his lips when he catches you looking his way. he's puffing out his chest, running a hand through his hair.
he's always had a certain effect on the ladies, and he's never been more happy about that until this very moment—
"megumi?" you call from a few feet away. the wide smile adorning your face makes you look even more radiant.
while gojo visibly deflates, megumi's head whips around at the speed of light. "(l/n)-sensei!"
oh.
gojo very quickly comes to understand why the boy is so enamored by you.
megumi launches himself at you, while you crouch to meet him with open arms.
"i'm so happy to see you!" he practically sings, clinging to your neck.
you chuckle at his enthusiasm. "i'm happy to see you too, 'gumi."
gojo clears his throat, hoping that megumi will take the chance to introduce you two, but he is completely ignored.
"what are you going to get? i'll buy it for you," he states proudly, despite having zero money of his own.
your gaze shifts to gojo for the first time, and having your attention even just for a brief moment takes his breath away.
"that's very sweet megumi, but that's alright." you ruffle his hair when he pouts at your words, standing back up. "who's this?"
"oh that's just gojo. don't worry about him," he states with a wave of his hand.
the white haired man gawks at him in response. the nerve on that kid! he silently decides megumi will be losing dessert privileges for a week. no, two.
you stifle a giggle before offering your hand to him and introducing yourself as megumi's teacher.
he repeats your name, taking satisfaction in the way it sounds rolling off his tongue.
"that's a pretty name," he compliments, trying to recover from megumi's dismissal. "heard a lot about you. in fact, the kid never shuts up about you."
this earns him a glare from megumi, but gojo is too preoccupied with the shy look that crosses your features to notice.
gojo insists on paying for your order, a show of appreciation for taking such good care of megumi in class. you chat with the pair of them for a little while longer before eventually excusing yourself.
"thank you again, gojo-san. i'll see you on monday, megumi!"
just as you're turning on your heel, gojo calls your name and you look back at him expectantly.
"when, uh," he struggles, scratching the back of his neck. "when do i get to see you?"
nice.
"oh! well, parent-teacher conferences are only a few weeks away! i'll look forward to seeing you then," you answer sweetly, misunderstanding the meaning behind his words.
you bid them goodbye once more and they both watch your figure disappear down the street.
megumi turns to look at gojo smugly. "weeks? that sounds like a really long time—"
"shut it, kid."
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i do mean it when i say 10 years in the future, the dsmp itself might have some case of lost media bc of a mix of the amt of streams we can't recover, biased recaps, and the purges of dsmp-related accounts both on twt and tumblr. it is already hard for me to find streams unrelated to ctommy or cwilbur, and it doesn't help that a good percent of the analysis essay posts we've archived in dsmpanalysis have been completely deleted.
of course any person can experience any piece of media at any time but truly, the dsmp was something else when experienced live because it was a testament to the importance of perspective and individual choices on which story you wanted to follow. if it weren't for archiving projects and dedicated fans, the dsmp would have been perceived in such a one-sided way.
20% of the archived essays i've been sifting through have already heen deleted. a good portion of the fics i've bookmarked have been orphaned or deleted. besides the slight upset i feel about the story and the progress of the dsmp being deleted, i think i'm more upset about the complete decimation of fan content. it's like, i get why they deleted their stuff— the dsmp has its fair share of controversy— but what made the dsmp fun and worthwhile was the fan creativity.
and now a good percentage of that is gone. i don't hope to doompost about anything because i don't rlly think the fandom is going anywhere. but it is definitely a shock to me how much history of the dsmp has completely disappeared just in the span of 2 years.
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onlyswan · 2 months
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summary: in which there is never enough time to be in love but jungkook is a 24/7 lover. (part one)
idol!jk x afab!reader / fluffy fluff with a dash of angst / word count: 3.6k
warnings/content: jungkook takes a day off and surprises oc <3 ; he's veryyy touchy; he gives oc's boobie a lil bite lol this guy ; s*xual innuendos; one (1) spank; oc comforts him :(; bam is home too!!; family is complete
→ in which masterlist!
note: smth short and sweet so i can recover from dreamboat loool missed my babies sm <3 as always reblog and/or feedback is very much appreciated! <3
p.s. i'm also redoing my iw taglist so pls comment/send an ask if you want to be (re)/added!
“baby? i’m home.”
you’re confident to say that you’d never mistake jungkook’s voice for anyone else’s. and on that note, you must be dreaming of him— the voice of an angel, the calloused palms cupping your cheeks… the audible and damp kisses delicately being peppered all over your face. everything feels so real. too real. just like how it used to be.
it hasn’t been long since you last saw him. you communicate and meet whenever it’s possible, no matter how short the time he is allowed to dedicate. still, you miss him all the time, everyday. you keep telling yourself it’s not that bad. time is passing by faster than you feared. but this whole set-up is foreign and daunting. and you miss him. you miss him all the time. that must be why you’re dreaming. 
when you open your eyes in the morning, you’ve come to expect nothing more than the view of the plain white ceiling, or the sunlight peeking from behind the curtains. 
so why are you gawking at jungkook’s face?
he smiles from ear-to-ear, bunny teeth and crinkles around his eyes— you can’t be mistaken. it’s him. it feels as though your heart has been shocked and revived. 
“jungkook!” you gasp.
you startle your own self when you abruptly throw your arms around him. he tries to hold you up, but you’re far too ecstatic for your own good, inexplicable joy thrumming in your veins and fireworks bursting in your ribcage. you squeal and jump up and down on the bed like a little kid on christmas morning; jungkook hugs you back tighter than he has ever done before, protecting you from the fall and crash.
“oh my god, you’re here! you’re here!”
“yes, i’m here-” he laughs in amusement. “ow shit, settle down- wow, it’s so early. why are you so energetic-”
“i missed you!” you briefly pause for oxygen. “so much! i’m never letting go of you again!” 
“wow!” he makes a dramatic wheezing sound. “that much, baby? you missed me that much?” 
“that much!” 
you draw back with a pout, just enough so you can look at each other, nodding your head probably too fast— you’re almost dizzy. adrenaline tide calming into waves, you’re catching your breath.
are you certain that this is not your imagination playing tricks on you?
“you’re here…” you slowly say. it’s only registering to your whiplashed brain. there is barely any feeling in your arms as you touch his face, an attempt at separating wishful thinking and reality. “why are you here?”
“why else?” he grins toothily. “because you said you were missing me.” 
your attempt at forming words is rudely interrupted. he steals a kiss, this thief… hard and hungry, keeping you in place by his palm cradling the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair. 
he pulls away with a satisfied hum, tongue darting out to swipe over his lips. “and because i was missing you more.” 
for a moment, you gaze at each other in silence. you’re still neck deep in disbelief and euphoria. that kiss took your breath away. under the circumstances, you shall yield and admit that he misses you more. he requests for developed photos of you when you come visit. that’s something you never imagined you’d have to do. 
he tries to tame your messy hair, smoothing it down until he’s holding your cheeks lovingly. “i mean, what else was i supposed to do? i miss waking up to this pretty face everyday.” 
you pucker your lips in response, demanding for a kiss. this earns a chuckle from him before he grants your wish. an unintelligible noise of joy escapes your mouth as you jump and hug him again. it is shortly followed by a yelp when he whisks you off the bed without warning, spinning you ‘round and ‘round… ‘round… and ‘round… and…
your laughter soon transforms into horror. 
“jungkook!” you scream with your eyes squeezed shut and your legs curled around his waist. “okay! stop it! i’m getting dizzy!” 
the crazy bastard keeps on giggling as if he doesn’t hear a thing. you always expect these reunions to be so emotional, but when jungkook is here, it feels as though he never left.  
“jungkook!” 
you hook your leg around his, causing the two of you to collapse on the soft mattress. you land on top of him with a whimper. you breathe out a sigh, relieved that the nausea-inducing ride is over.
“that was fun.” he speaks next to your ear; the sensation makes you squirm. 
“it was,” you push yourself up to search for more air, a little sweaty after yours and jungkook’s hyperness took control of your bodies. “for the first five seconds.” 
you’re now properly straddling him, ass on his crotch. it’s accidental, but nothing new. nay, comfortable. this level of proximity won’t feel like intimacy with somebody else. goddamn, you missed your boyfriend so much. 
a big, sleepy yawn zaps your attention from him. you cover your face with both hands, wandering into the darkness for a little while. you find that your mind is devoid of any thought. perhaps you’re more overwhelmed than you let on. 
“missed this view too…” he reveals amidst the haze, a distinct change in the tone of his voice. 
there they are— the butterflies in his stomach, slaves to you and only you. he breathes through his parted lips as he caresses your thighs with tenderness bleeding from his fingertips, your skin so smooth and soft in contrast to his calloused palms. his lips curve into a drunken smile when you graze his greedy hands, as though granting them permission, before they slip inside the magenta velvet of your night dress. the material bunches over his forearms as he reaches for your hips. it leaves almost nothing to the imagination (in his case: memory). his attention is stolen by your cotton panties. light taupe. decorated by white polka dots. 
“this one’s new.” he comments.
you peer down to figure out what he meant. right, he’s never seen this before. “surprise! you like it?”
“yes, it’s cute.” he toys with the little ribbon at the center of the waistband. “you rarely get this color.”
“thanks. i think my taste is changing.”
“really?”
“mhmm…” 
his hands venture up to your waist, kneading at the flesh and reacquainting with the feel of you. he’s been pissed off at the thought of forgetting what it feels like to touch you, knowing your body like the back of his hand. he hasn’t been away from you for extended periods of time since their last tour. that was years ago. 
for maximum comfort, he sits up and pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. “let’s move here.” he carries you with him, back comfortable leaning against the headboard, while you remain sitting pretty on his lap. “bam was sleeping on my side of the bed when i arrived.”
“huh…?” you blink. 
“you didn’t know?”
you shake your head innocently, a tad distracted by your eyes roaming his naked torso. he looks absolutely ravishing as ever. did something already change from the last time you saw him? 
“i tucked him into his bed last night.”
you visited bam at the training facility after work yesterday, but he kept trying to follow you as you were leaving. your fragile heart caved and you brought him home for the weekend. you texted jungkook about it but he didn’t respond; as much as that made you sad, you figured he was just tired or he used his phone time to talk to his family. 
you spent the whole night playing with bam and watching his favorite dog entertainment channel on youtube. the house wasn’t dead silent for once. you fell asleep together on the couch until you woke up at 2am and tucked him and yourself into your respective beds. it was easy to fall back to sleep after, but it felt weird that you didn’t need an audiobook or hours of calming sounds of nature. 
you’re not whining. there have been a lot of sunny and happy days. you have wonderful people in your life who act as your support system in their own unique ways, but jungkook and bam… they’re your family. you made your peace with no longer having one, but now that you’ve built your own, having to be apart from them makes your heart ache. 
“did he sneak in to sleep next to you? he does that now?” he makes a surprised face. “what’s this? i’m so jealous of him!”
a pinch in your heart. 
you try your best to conceal a frown, but your poor choice of words paints your disappointment. “you’re not-” you avoid his eyes. “staying the night?”
“yah, you don’t have to look so sad. i can stay, baby.”
“you can?” your face lights up. 
“for you, i’ll make it happen.” he cheeses, affectionately tapping the tip of your nose like it’s a button to make you smile. “i’m only working hard in there to earn more days off, you know that?”
that makes you frown.
“babe, don’t do that…” you whine, shaking his shoulders. “you don’t need to work so hard. only do what is required of you. i just want you to be healthy.”
“no… just let me.” he replies with finality. “i need… i need a reason. you’re the reason why i’m still hanging in there, and i don’t want to miss another anniversary.” 
he bats his eyelashes. 
“being your boyfriend is my favorite job in the whole world.”
and how are you supposed to argue with one of his most heart-fluttering, most wholesome lines yet? 
you sigh in defeat. “then you can rest when you’re with me.” 
“i love you.”
“i love you, too.” 
you lean in to kiss him, but are interrupted when he yawns. your forehead ends up resting against his as you giggle uncontrollably at the unexpected and hilarious view of his open mouth. 
“sleepy?”
he bows his head in embarrassment, body vibrating with laughter. “i couldn’t sleep because i was so excited. i wanted to talk to you last night but i was so sure i’d spoil the surprise.” 
“of course you couldn’t.” you giggle, removing yourself from his lap while tugging at the collar of his shirt. “come here. let’s sleep some more.”
you lie down on the bed facing each other. jungkook moans in contentment as you engulf him in your embrace, nuzzling his face against your chest. he can smell your body wash, sweet and clean. that— that isn’t new. every muscle in his body decompresses. he needed this, needed you. desperately. tremendously. you pull the thick and warm blanket over yourselves and he melts. while he wishes he was taller, he knows he is still of considerable height. he’s been bulking up, getting stronger than before too. but he doesn’t give a fuck about those at the moment. he’s not even aware. his body fits perfectly with yours— that’s all he knows. oh… he’s melting. but it doesn’t feel like he’s being reduced. he has everything to gain. this is heaven on earth.
he opens his eyes into an awful squint, faced by your cleavage spilling out from the neckline of your night dress. there’s this urge he can’t ignore. it’s not spelt out in his mind, he rather feels like his body is having a fit. next thing he knows, he’s carefully sinking his teeth into the soft flesh of the swell of your boob. he stays still for a few seconds, and then pulls away once he deems himself satisfied. he wipes your skin with his thumb incase he left some saliva, innocent eyes peeking up at you huffing out a quiet laugh. 
“you sure that’s all you needed?”
“i’ll devour you later.” he smirks, blinking sluggishly. “i’m tired but just you wait. i’ll go all night!”
“not if i beat you to it…” you tease, having plans of your own. you want to make him feel good. you’ve been going insane thinking about it. “missed you.”
“alright then, let’s do it at the same time.” he says suggestively. 
“you know i have a hard time focusing when we do that.” you huff.
“eh, so? not me.” he chuckles. “i think you do a really great job, though?”
“…still! go easy on me a little bit so i can do better.”
“it’s not a competition, baby.” he squeezes your waist affectionately. “plus, i don’t think i’d be able to control myself once i get a taste.”
“jungkook!” you whine, growing flustered. 
he laughs out loud, giving your ass a quick spank that resounds through the walls of the bedroom. 
it becomes silent again after that.
the tip of your nails graze his scalp with repeated movements, more so for your amusement, but he is practically purring. you can’t imagine your arm being a comfortable pillow either, but he is doing great at making it appear so.
“i realized something.”
“what is it?”
“i really can’t live without you.” he confesses earnestly, then looks up at you with raised eyebrows. “don’t say anything. i know you’ll say something like ‘yes, you can!’”
“i was not. i liked hearing you say it.” you stifle a giggle. “but i’m not going anywhere. you know that.”
“i don’t doubt that.” he sighs with a heavy chest. “sometimes i just get a bit worried that you’d get tired of waiting.” 
this isn’t the first time in your relationship that he’s voicing out this fear, but the difference between then and now is stark. with the disconnection, there was a part of you that expected it to resurface. 
“babe,” you gently tilt up his face, locking your sincere and love-filled eyes with his. “we’re okay. i’ve loved you since i was 18. this? this is nothing. you’re a part of me, so you’re always with me. and i know you keep me with you too.”
you wear a brave face. you hope that he believes your words as much as you do, because no matter how many boulders the universe throws down your path, all you ever think about is how you and jungkook will surmount them. together. he is your partner after all.
“we’ll get through it like we always do, baby boy.”
jungkook nods and smiles, doe eyes glittering. you love making that happen. “sorry, i think i scared myself when i read stories on the internet.” 
“our story is different!”
the two of you burst into a fit of giggles.
“no, seriously-” he cackles, a little breathless.
“we’re one of a kind!” you keep the joke running. you want to keep making him laugh, even if it’s only for a few seconds longer. 
“we’ve gone through so much bullshit. not everyone would fight as hard as we did!” jungkook passionately agrees with the same intensity. “you’re right, we always make it work. we’ll get through it like we always do.”
“trust me,” you charmingly implore him. “when was i ever wrong?”
“never!” he immediately shakes his head. “…atleast not about the things that matter.”
“okay,” you shrug. “i’ll take it.”
“goodnight kiss, please.” he cutely pleads.
wild guess: he went home to be babied. not that you’re complaining. this is miles better than having to wrestle him over who gets to be the big spoon. you love giving love. when your heart stops beating, it would be great to celebrate how much you were loved, but you also wish to be remembered as a person who gave love until their last breath. 
“goodnight, my love.” you coo, well aware that the sun has risen. 
you plant a tender kiss on his forehead. the complaint bubbling in his throat is swallowed when you lean in closer to reach his lips. with his wish fulfilled, he flutters his eyes closed and snuggles as close to you as possible, real and proper rest finally within his grasp. he basks in your warmth and the tranquilizing silence— his breathing steady and his heart at its calmest. beautiful things enter his mind. you are the sun on the first spring day; the clouds that go with him no matter the distance; the waves that kiss the shore and never fail to come back. he heals in places he didn’t know he was hurting. 
“hold on, where is bam then?”
“his house. i gave him some treats then he slept again…” his voice comes out muffled. he sniffles jokingly. “the reaction was kind of underwhelming. i think he didn’t miss me as much.” 
“of course he’d choose that over a human.”
“i bribed him too early.” he laments.
“wait…” he feels you come to a still. “i think he’s coming.”
he opens his eyes and copies you in focusing on the familiar sound of bam’s paws clicking against the floor. the mattress quakes and he lifts his head to find the dog climbing over your bodies. 
he’s seriously a large and tall dog. 
“bam, what are you doing here?!” 
bam tilts his head and stares back at jungkook, tail wagging as his dad laughs and pets him on the head down to his back. 
“he’s so adorable.” you squeal quietly, joining in and scratching under his chin. “i love you, bam.” 
bam’s eyes switch to you. he slowly lowers his head, giving your hand a tentative lick as if to show appreciation but he’s also worried that it would prompt you to stop.
“he’s gotten real heavy, huh?”
“he’s got some big muscles like you.”
“of course! he got it from me.”
jungkook’s proud smile drops a little. it morphs into pure fondness once bam starts sniffing at him. he yelps and dramatically falls back, wiping his wet cheek with the back of his hand, but it’s game over once bam pants with excitement. bam chases his face to attack him with his love language. 
you watch the scene from the sidelines, laughing so hard that your sides are beginning to hurt. you wish you were recording. you wish that you never forget this. 
“okay, okay! you’re happy to see me! i see that now!” jungkook laughs, squeezing bam in a tight hug for a moment. 
the dog still refuses to relent, however. they almost look like they’re fighting to the death but the truth is they’re just smothering each other with affection. unbeknownst to them, you make a pained face when one of them accidentally hits your arm multiple times. nevermind, they were definitely both culprits. 
“____! save me!” your boyfriend cries out.
he bulldozes through bam and shoves himself into the tiny space he previously, and peacefully, occupied minutes before. he’s squeezing you so tight, nearly crushing you as he laughs with tears in his eyes. they affectionately call it his elmo laugh, the fans, which you adore just as much. 
you see it before you hear it. bam makes that face when he’s about to bark. your hush comes out at the same exact second as his barking. 
“this is so chaotic!” you try to project your voice louder than everybody else’s. 
jungkook’s laughs quieter but harder, if that makes any sense. 
you have an arm around jungkook that holds him taut and protected, while the other is busy with getting bam to settle down. you slide your palm across his fur in repeated motions, focusing on the spots that cause his eyes to flutter in relaxation.
“shhh, bam. it’s still too early. let daddy rest first. we can tire him out again later, okay?”
he settles on top of your bodies again. he has stopped moving around, but then he makes that face again, and you really love your healthy sense of hearing. 
“behave, bam-” you playfully squeeze his cheeks together before scratching under his chin. “my cutie bam. you can do that for me, right? you’re a good boy! i’m sure you understand.”
he abandons the urge to bark, suddenly fixing his position so you can also scratch at his chest. you almost snort at how funny he looked obeying you on accident because he is begging to be petted.
“that’s right. good job, bam.” you coo, sending him a pleased smile. “you’re so smart. you listen so well.” 
you whisper to jungkook. “it’s so cute when it looks like he really understands what i’m saying.”
“it’s the way you talk to him.” he answers quietly, placing tiny kisses along your collarbone. “you’re so sweet.” he almost forgot how good you are with bam. he just fell in love with you all over again. 
“but it’d be cooler if he does understand me.” you hum, moving your hand on bam’s head. he finally decides to flop down then. he rests his head over your waist, eyes seemingly inching closer to sleepiness. you sigh in relief. “go to sleep too, baby.”
jungkook breaks the silence a moment later.
“…did you mean me or bam?”
“you!” you chuckle. 
“oh-” he laughs at his own foolishness. his arm that is supposed to be hooked around your waist rests over bam’s body instead. he ruffles the dog’s fur softly. “let’s all go to sleep.”
you let out a yawn in response to that. you sniffle, murmuring tiredly. “i love you, baby… your surprise made me so happy. i’ll make it up to you too.”
“i love you more…”
jungkook lifts his head and finds that you have closed your eyes. your chest rises and falls in a calm rhythm. bam is closely following you into dreamland. 
heavens, what he wouldn’t give so he could stay here forever and never leave again. 
his eyes are heavy with exhaustion, hot with sleepy tears, but he fights his own body to stay awake. with all his might, he gazes in awe at the beauty of a life with you. he wants to always remember what is waiting for him at home.
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5sospenguinqueen · 2 months
Text
You Got Me Tripping - Mick Schumacher x Williams! Reader
Summary: They say you should never meet your heroes - or the offspring of your heroes - and when you make a complete ass out of yourself in front of Mick, you might agree
Warnings: Swearing. Fluff.
Williams development driver. Pinterest pics
I'm not in love with this but I had the idea so it had to be written haha
F1 Masterlist
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f1news just posted
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liked by landonorris, lilymhe and others 
f1news accurate reenactment of the moment when williams’ development driver, Yn Ln, met the son of hero michael schumacher… and forgot how to walk 
1,221 comments
user1 i love how they can’t post the actual video footage netflix got because you know she threatened everyone to bury it
user2 not the drivers being summoned to a trashy news blog dedicated to them
→ user3 they too are obsessed with this development
its_yn_ln is this what people call news these days? boring!
→ landonorris speak for yourself, this was hilarious 
→ alex_albon i have it saved as my lockscreen
→ logansargeant i’ve definitely watched it more than 10x
→ its_yn_ln i hate you all 
→ georgerussell63 even me? i can introduce you to the hero of your stumblings
→ landonorris probably not the best idea, mate. you'd need her to stay in one piece 
→ williams so do we, she’s our reserve 
user4 she lost aura points for this 
user5 i get it. i too would trip over thin air if mick schumacher smiled at me like that 
user6 why are we all forgetting the most important part?
→ user7 you mean how red she went when he helped her up
user8 and the way he launched forward to catch her 
→ user9 no wonder she swooned
→ user10 mhm if those arms were wrapped around me 😏
williamsracing just posted
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liked by charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others 
williamsracing following contact earlier today between Yn and the concrete, we’re pleased to confirm that the driver sustained little more than a bruised ego
5,335 comments
its_yn_ln watch yourself, i know where you work 
→ jv.f1 stop threatening the admin, please
→ its_yn_ln but they’re bullying me 
logansargeant where’s the post about my suffering? i had to listen to her complain about how embarrassed she was
→ its_yn_ln stop exposing me! 
→ user11 you’ve exposed yourself 
→ its_yn_ln i really hope i didn’t. nobody said my jeans split
→ landonorris trust me, if we'd seen your ass, you'd have seen me retching
its_yn_ln that’s a lie, i suffered a wound to my elbow 
→ alex_albon it’s a scrape, you didn’t even bleed 
→ its_yn_ln i’ve lost a layer of skin! 
→ alex_albon maybe that’ll make you go faster in practice tomorrow 
→ its_yn_ln @/lilymhe leave him 
oscarpiastri the figure chasing Yn is actually lando
→ its_yn_ln he tried following me into the bathroom earlier! 
mickschumacher i hope she recovers quickly 
georgerussell63 do you want me to ask him to kiss it better?
→ its_yn_ln do you want me to edge you off the track in practice? 
→ williamsracing you’re not allowed to say these things
→ its_yn_ln i’m gonna have to undergo pr training after this, aren’t i?
→ alex_albon yes
→ logansargeant yes
→ williamsracing yes
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mickschumacher just posted
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liked by georgerussell63, its_yn_ln and others 
mickschumacher silverstone 🇬🇧
3,470 comments
pierregasly i have not heard from Yn since these were posted
georgerussell63 can we check nearby holes in case Yn tripped into one
→ its_yn_ln this is why lewis is my favourite merc member
→ georgerussell63 not mick?
→ its_yn_ln i decline to answer that 
alex_albon somebody check on Yn, please
→ landonorris she seemed fine when i passed hospitality. she was enjoying her lunch ;)
→ logansargeant again? interesting. i knew there was a reason she was hiding from williams this weekend
→ charles_leclerc @/pierregasly pay up 
maxverstappen1 why am i reading through mick’s comment section?
→ danielricciardo because we all like seeing Yn getting teased
→ its_yn_ln you’re both off my christmas card list
williamsracing please release your hold on our driver
mercedesamgf1 mick, as much as we love you, we have a couple of admins demanding someone back
→ mickschumacher no thanks
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its_yn_ln just posted
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liked by mickschumacher, alex_albon and others 
its_yn_ln when you both get a weekend off and he finally takes you on the picnic he’s promising for the past month 
3,666 comments 
alex_albon it’s not funny when you embrace it
→ its_yn_ln it’s not funny anyway?
→ georgerussell63 not true
→ its_yn_ln @/carmenmmundt leave him
→ alex_albon stop telling our girlfriends to leave us
→ its_yn_ln stop being douchebags then
user11 guys hear me out. what if it’s mick?
→ user12 feels like you're taking a joke just a tad too seriously
→ user13 no, no, let her talk 
landonorris another day, another slay
→ its_yn_ln let’s get you back to the home, grandma
→ landonorris only if we take you back to the fracture clinic
→ its_yn_ln i fell one time! 
→ oscarpiastri it was twice
→ mickschumacher when was the second?
danielricciardo who’s car was coolest?
→ its_yn_ln mine, i had a daytona
→ mercedesamgf1 whoa, he’s building a merc so he clearly wins
williamsracing we get palpitations every time we see your name trending on twitter
→ its_yn_ln i read the pr manual, this doesn’t break the rules! 
→ williamsracing that doesn’t mean we trust you! 
→ logansargeant ouch. and i thought it was just my heart they broke 
user11 okay so she mentioned them both getting a weekend off, it’s the first weekend without a race after the triple header so he’s obvi a driver 
→ user11 then they’re building lego cars. what do mick and yn do for a living? drive cars
→ user11 and then she used a warning slippery floor sign for a meme when the whole internet  has been teasing her for falling over when she first met him 
→ its_yn_ln the fbi needs to hire some of y’all
lilymhe answer my texts, please!!! and thanks xx
mickschumacher looks like a fun weekend
→ its_yn_ln it was! 
→ user14 this is such a bland interaction
→ user11 it’s obvi deliberate babe. they’re trying to throw us off
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mickschumacher just posted
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liked by its_yn_ln, sebastianvettel and others
mickschumacher how could i resist when she literally fell for me 
4,774 comments
its_yn_ln i hate you 
→ mickschumacher that’s not what you were whispering in my ear in that photo 
lilymhe the cutest
→ its_yn_ln whoa, what about us?
→ lilymhe you never fell over for me
→ alex_albon you’re not mick schumacher 
georgerussell63 you can put her down, she’s definitely not going to run away from you 
→ mickschumacher yes but if her feet don’t touch the floor then she can’t fall 
its_yn_ln at least i know you’ll be around to catch me <3
→ landonorris this is gross. go back to publicly humiliating yourself 
→ its_yn_ln just because i have more rizz than you 
→ landonorris not sure how
→ mickschumacher she’s cute. you’re not 
mercedesamgf1 where is your protective gear?
→ its_yn_ln i told you that we'd get in trouble if you posted that 
→ mickschumacher but i wanted everyone to see how good you looked on top of my bike 
→ alex_albon please stop. i can't take anymore giggling
→ logansargeant and i have to listen to her gush about you 
→ williamsracing we are all suffering 
→ its_yn_ln vengeance! this is what happens when you cyberbully me
charles_leclerc this doesn't make her seem very hardcore!
→ its_yn_ln you take that back! i have a reputation to maintain
→ mickschumacher darling, i think you ruined that reputation months ago when we met
f1 and they said being a development driver was only good for getting a seat
→ user16 f1 bringing together true loves
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Tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @evie-119
Requests for F1 smau's are open. You can see who I write for on my masterlist :)
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nereidprinc3ss · 1 month
Text
pillow talk
in which spencer reid chooses a very odd time to reveal an anecdote from his past to fem!reader
18+ (fluff, extremely suggestive) warnings/tags: fingering but nothing graphic whatsoever, it's basically fade to black sex, discussions of spencer's gsw from season 5, medical talk (and inaccuracies), spencer is a sarcastic little shit a/n: found this super random little thing in my drafts and it was done and i think it's silly and cute so i'm posting it! 600 words, short n sweet!
“You got shot in the knee?”
It’s perhaps said too loudly for the setting—tucked into Spencer’s bed in the late hours of the night when up until this point the conversation had been nothing but murmured stories and quiet giggles. And before that, well—before that there hadn’t been much conversation at all. 
Still you can’t find it within yourself to apologize as you sit up, holding the top sheet to your chest and looking down at Spencer incredulously. His eyebrows raise like he’s surprised by your reaction. 
“Thigh, technically. And it was years ago. Come back.”
You huff but allow yourself to be pulled back down, head on his shoulder as his hand finds its place stroking your hip once more. 
“How have you never told me that?”
“You never noticed the multiple incision scars on my leg?”
“What? No! Can I look now?”
“You won’t be able to see them. It’s too dark.”
You angle your head toward him, and he does the same, tilting his down until your noses almost brush. 
“So turn the light on.”
“If I turn the light on I’ll get distracted.”
“Distracted by what?” You ask, realizing what he means and voice quickly fading even as you finish the sentence. He chuckles and kisses your head. 
“I’ll show it to you in the morning. Come here.”
“I am here,” you grumble. He hums, leaning down further to try and kiss you. 
“Closer.”
So you scoot up the mattress and roll onto your side, pressed right against him, to meet him halfway in a sweet kiss. 
“You’re kind of spoiled,” you laugh against his lips as he begins pushing the sheet from your body. 
“You have to be nice to me. I got shot, remember?”
“Right. And how long ago was this, approximately?”
“It was 19 days before my 28th birthday.”
So much for approximations. 
“Aw. You got shot for your 28th birthday?”
It’s his turn to laugh into the kiss as he carefully rolls over you but recovers quickly, assuming a deadpan delivery. 
“Yeah. And it was really bad.”
“Sexy,” you murmur as he kisses down your jaw. “Tell me more.”
“Shots to the leg can be life-threatening if the femoral artery is nicked. Thankfully the bullet missed mine. You’re welcome.”
Your heart skips with a split second of true anxiety, but you snort at his cavalier attitude. 
“Yeah? This is really working for me.”
He lowers his voice to the one he uses in more intimate contexts and you giggle as he explains his gunshot wound to you like it’s dirty talk. 
“The bullet went in through my rectus femoris…” now uninhibited by the sheet, he finds the spot on your thigh and pinches lightly, “and came out clean through my semitendinosis muscle.”
“Clean? No bone fragments?”
“Nope. The doctors said I was extremely lucky it didn’t splinter my femur but it completely destroyed my muscles. I had to do physical therapy for a year and a half and I had a cane for months.”
“That’s kind of hot,” you breathe, losing commitment to the bit as his kisses get lower and his hand creeps higher. 
“Wait until you hear about the mid-surgery aortic clamping and ligature complications. You’ll love this—I was awake the whole time.”
A soft moan slips from between your parted lips and your brows pinch. 
“Spencer—”
“What?” He murmurs. “Me getting shot in the leg isn’t sexy anymore?”
You manage something between a breathy laugh and a mewl as your back arches. 
“I’m gonna kill you.”
He hums against your throat. 
“Good luck. You’d be far from the first to try.”
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