#and I'm still trying to figure out what feeds the brain worms

[murderofsomeone]

have you every thought of getting into Thomas the tank engine fandom? i've found lots of amazing artists and writers (i've even started making stories and art and lotttts au's) i'm not even into the books or show i only like the fandom

(this is murdoch from the show btw)

oops forgot to answer this but idk I don't really choose what I get into, it kind of just happens. Some things land better than others, but as of right now I'm trying to enjoy my current interest before I'm ready to get into something else.

[yanderemommabean]

Last post got be thinking about that silly trope where a hitman/assassin/murderer has to suddenly take care of a kid and all the shenanigans involved with trying to be nice/preserve their innocence despite the fact that they... You know... Kill people for a living.

Anyway thoughts about OCs and suddenly having to take care of a kid?

it's been on my mind, I had to make a small post to feed the worms eating my brain.

I think Jasper would be trying to preserve any innocence he could, he loves kids, he wants the world to be good for them for as long as possible. His childhood was ruined early but that doesn't mean he wants anyone else's to be broken apart either.

Lee would have tired dad energy the entire time, but he'd still love them and be sure they're safe and eating correctly. "Do your work yet? Did you brush your teeth and shower? Alright then, come here, let me show you some neat science experiments"

Grey would be a bit awkward, as he's terrified he might accidentally hurt them, he doesn't want to turn out like the family he barely remembers. So he'll chill with them, play games, try to be a good role model, but he feels like someone else would be better qualified

Dexter would be over the moon and wouldn't be capable of leaving them alone. He's always so proud of anything they make, if its a stick drawing he says it's better than Vincent and Picasso. Major Proud Dad Energy

Ezrol would be indifferent in the beginning. Annoyed and not wanting anything to do with the brat. But slowly he lets his heart melt and starts giving into small things such as silly cartoons or weird art projects they wanted to try. He acts like he threw away the "junk" but it's very clearly kept in his room on his dresser or wall. Always checks in on them as they grow up, wanting to cry like an actual parent as time passes because "They grow up so fast"

August is the cookie cutter perfect dad who makes sure to use manners, be polite, be kind, and clean up. He'll have his more strict moments sometimes, but he's a real loving father figure who wants to be sure the kid is happy healthy and knows they're safe and loved no matter what. Also a really good cook at BBQs. Wears the "best dad" aprons all the time.

CEO would be the spoiling type, but only after you've earned it so to speak. If you do your work you'll be rewarded. Might also really love wearing the dad outfits they pick out to match. I'm talking atrociously colored and doesn't even match but it's their outfit choice for him, so to him it's a great fashion statement.

Victoria is used to handing care off to nanny's and what not, but she'd try. She's so business oriented the CEO would love to hire her. she's a more strict mother figure, but it's so the kid can get ahead in life when they can. Thinks kids are gross personally but isn't going to be a bitch if asked to house and care for one, she'll just take a while to warm up and be a good influence is all.

-Mommabean

[todayisafridaynight]

masato/aoki has been a hyperfixation of mine for almost 3 years now unfortunately he's a little worm in my brain slowly killing me off. this is half a response to some asks i've seen, a sort of explanation to aoki looking different to masato (which is definitely nonsensical in ways) may be because he's somewhat healthier than when he was as masato, hence he's not deathly pale, tired looking and a bit of weight gain maybe? (personally love his hamster cheeks as aoki). as a disabled person myself i don't think rgg really thought much through in his disability and the shit it can bring?? hoping yakuza 8 brings more context for him though i doubt it. again unfortunately,,, he's important to me regardless and ngl the hate he gets makes me upset sometimes. like he is definitely awful awful, especially aoki. my autism could write a whole deep dive essay about his character that no one wants to hear lmfao. also your masato art is a joy, just to let you know <3 as a fellow daigo enjoyer,, masadai ex boyfriends is the most valid and superior ship for masato lmao. ty for your service in this fandom 💪

damn im honored to be gettin a letter from THE ceo of ryo aoki themselves.. even if its anonymous ill still frame it on my wall hiii ty for writin <3

BUT YEAH that's what i figured in how drastic masato is from aoki- like his eyes notably lose that dark ring and his skin and lips get more color (tho that could be because he's in the sun more but who's to say it can't be both).

i really REALLY wish RGG wasn't so flippant about his disability, i go insane trying to figure out exactly what it is or what it could be so i can approach it better when portraying him and also just thinking about him. 'weak lung syndrome', surprise surprise, can mean a lot of things

it's already p cringe that they just poof it away with a lung transplant and get rid of it all together in ishin when there was no real reason to have him stand at all. like. he's literally in two scenes, one where he is sitting but the other he's just talking to the air while takechi sits in the room.

never mind im curious if he ever had to deal with his body potentially rejecting the new organ for a bit since that is a very real concern when it comes to organ transplants, but i get not really finding the need to dive into it since that transplant would have been 20 years ago and the chance to talk about it is slim. still, they could have at least give his initial illness a proper name or diagnosis if they were just going to make it disappear literally one chapter later

anyway, ty again for writin !!! i'm happy i can feed the worm that lives in your brain 🥰🥰🥰

[uncuteartist]

I repeatedly warned my manager that she shouldn't feed the barn cats canned gravy or lunch meat because the sodium content is way too fucking high for their kidneys to take. Turns out she kept doing it! We were racking our brains trying to figure out why nearly every single cat was coming down with terrible diarrhea and had a swollen red ass. I looked up a bunch of terrible cat diseases and stressed myself out a whole bunch. I even bought de-worming meds for them! And all the while she's just solemnly going, "Well, they clearly have distemper. It's very sad." Like BITCH you don't even know what distemper is! It has 50% kill rate in the first 24 hours! 80% give or take in a week! No one's dead! They're just sick and shitting constantly! You think every fucking sick cat has distemper. No!! It has actual defined symptoms! Anyway found out she's still giving them lunch meat instead of regular wet cat food. And I was like "hey, I'm just going to go buy cheap ass cat food and you can feed them that. It's way less expensive than the store's lunch meat anyway. Let's just try it and see what happens." AND GUESS WHAT?! Three days in and everyone's butt is suddenly less swollen and noticeably less red. No one's shitting themselves. One dude might be too far gone to save which fucking sucks because he's a real sweetie. And this woman will learn NOTHING from this and act like it was a completely unavoidable situation.

[geddy-leesbian]

I was thinking about how Luis was the person who killed Salazar in my Winterserra AU and was looking back at screenshots I took fighting Salazar with a playable Luis mod to feed the brain worms, and it led to me expanding a scene I'd already half written to add something about scars Luis got during that fight :3

Just Ethan being a good fiance and helping Luis in the shower because he's pregnant with their ✨️magic mold baby✨️ and on the struggle bus, a little bit of an argument because Luis is a self sabotaging mess, and them talking it out and hugging because Ethan is hell bent on them being a happy family some day and refuses to let Luis push him away

Still a little shaken up by nearly slipping and wiping out stepping into the tub, Luis grabs the bar on the shower wall to steady himself when Ethan drops to his knees to start scrubbing the grime off of Luis's lower body. 

“Ethan? Are you done washing, or..? Not to criticize when you've already done so much for me, but I don't feel clean yet,” Luis eventually asks, after several moments of Ethan just kneeling, not moving the washcloth. Of course his stomach now protrudes out far enough that he can't see Ethan's facial expression, all he can do is take a wild guess about what he's thinking.  “I understand if you're getting tired of helping me,  you've done more than enough already. You can stop now and go wait for me in the bedroom. I'll figure something out to finish washing up by myself, it'll be fine.”

“Don't worry, I'll go until you're squeaky clean. I just got distracted. God, I can't believe you think I'm the type of guy that would leave his injured, pregnant fiancé alone in the shower trying to figure something out. That's not who I am. When I promised I'd protect you from everything last night, I didn't just mean I'd protect you from the BSAA and any other mad scientists out there that would be interested in the baby. I meant everything, including protecting you from yourself. You already almost slipped getting in, and you definitely would have hurt yourself if I wasn't right there ready to catch you! You're not showering alone, not until you've recovered more,” Luis doesn't argue further, because Ethan has a point. While injured might be a stronger word than Luis would use, even he has to admit that he's not doing well at the moment. Swollen feet and ankles, bruises all over his hips and shoulders from slamming into trees every time he lost his balance. And of course that was all on top of the normal, but no less annoying, aches and pains he was dealing with simply because he was pregnant. Trying to be independent now would only lead to him being even more dependent on Ethan, when he inevitably got himself an injury. “I stopped because I  got distracted by the scars on your thighs, I've never really seen them before now. It's always been too dim, or you positioned yourself in a way to hide them. You don't need to do that. I like the ones you don't hide. I like these too.”

Luis is a little surprised Ethan hadn't noticed the splotchy burn scars splashed across his inner thighs. He'd assumed Ethan noticed at some point and just didn't comment on it. But they are quite faded now, and Ethan is right that Luis tried to hide them, at least at the start of their relationship. There were plenty of times Ethan could have seen them, but it's not implausible he never noticed without something to draw his attention to that area. 

“I don't mind the scars on my upper body. There was a time I hated the chest scar from removing my plaga, I thought it was hideous. But Leon liked it, I didn't mind it so much after that. Most of the other scars I got after…” After I fucked up and killed Leon. “... After– After you know, I didn't mind so much. They weren't the ugly kind of scar, they're the kind you see on some pretty Hollywood actor to make him look a little tougher, a little rough around the edges, but not too rough. Just the right amount to look badass, not all hideous and deformed. But I don't like the ones on my thighs. They're not the handsome badass kind, just gross.”

“You are a handsome badass, and you're really exaggerating the thigh scars. They're not that bad,” Ethan affirms, beginning to move the wash cloth over Luis's skin again, gently scrubbing. “They look like burn scars… There a connection to this and you not liking fire? Sorry if that was too invasive.”

“It's fine. Good guess, but no. They were from someone named Ramón Salazar. He was always creepy as hell. Before transforming into a monster, I think he was actually creepier than he was after. He somehow looked 8 years old and 80 years old at the same time. But anyway, once he transformed, he was able to spray acid,” Luis realizes he has yet another reason to be thankful to Ethan: He's been through this same shit. Ethan understands what Luis means when he talks about someone transforming, he doesn't need to elaborate. “I did a good job dodging it and none got up on my face or upper body, but there was one spray I didn't move quick enough. It hit my thighs and just burned right through my jeans and into my skin, leaving me with a nasty chemical burn. Nasty enough to have one silver lining, no pain. Fried all my nerves, can't feel shit where the acid hit. Was thankful for that later that night when I was yanking arrows out of my legs. They all hurt like a bitch, except the couple that managed to hit the burns.”

“Nerve damage, yeah, that makes sense.”

“How so?”

“I tried kissing the insides of your thigh the first time I went down on you and you didn't react at all. I just thought it was something you didn't like and you were too polite to say anything. But sounds like you weren't reacting because you couldn't even feel it.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Maybe I should have warned you, that normally is a sensitive place,” Luis blushes as he rambles. He's not sure why this has him so embarrassed. It is a little embarrassing, thinking about poor Ethan kissing his thighs and getting no reaction, wondering if he was doing something wrong. But in the past 24 hours Ethan has cleaned up his vomit, wanted to have sex even though Luis hadn't bathed in more than a week and was especially filthy from his poorly thought out Valdelobos trip, and witnessed Luis having a panic attack right under their goddamn bed after some candles spooked him. He should be developing some immunity to shame after all that, but somehow he's still embarrassed by the thigh kissing revelation. “I did like that kind of thing before, it's really just the nerve damage, nothing you were doing wrong. I'm sorry. I would have explained sooner if I knew you'd been thinking about it. If I could have felt it, I would have loved it. Sorry–”

“Hey, Luis, it's okay. You apologize way too much,” Ethan rises to his feet and stands on the tips of his toes to kiss Luis on the cheek. “And don't you dare try to apologize for apologizing. Not to play the I got my hand cut off card, but in case you forgot, I did get my hand cut off with a chainsaw once, and forgave and saved the person who did it. There's nothing you can do that I can't forgive you–”

“I haven't forgotten,” Luis interjects. “I also haven't forgotten that you were a married man when Chris brought you to me. You can say you forgive her all you want, but actions speak louder than words, and I watched you sign the divorce papers when Chris dropped them off, so you can't pretend like what she did had no effect on the marriage. You divorced her because she did something you couldn't forgive her for, and you'll divorce me for the same reason, unless I do something unforgivable before we even get married.”

“Stop it, Luis. Stop trying to read my mind and put words in my mouth. Don't act like you know what happened between me and Mia better than I do, because you have no idea what the hell you're talking about, and I really don't appreciate you pretending like you do,” Luis flinches at Ethan raising his voice again. It still isn't yelling, but it's louder than the first time. Of course it's also completely justified. “I did forgive her. I still fucking loved her, and I forgave her for everything. I didn't choose divorce because I was mad at her for anything, we just wanted different things out of life. We weren't making each other happy anymore. Since you remember everything so well, I'm sure you remember that I cried after signing those papers, because I did still love her, and it hurt to finally close that door for good, even if I knew it was for the best. I might have still been with her now, starting a family with her, if she'd just agreed with Chris's plan and left the BSAA facility with me.”

Luis deserves the harshness. What he said did cross the line, and he has no right to be upset by Ethan rightfully calling him out. But that doesn't make him any less upset or stop the tears. If he hadn't started crying, maybe this would have been the end. Maybe Ethan would have realized he deserves better and dumped Luis. But Luis is crying, so every ounce of Ethan's anger drains away, replaced with pity. He drops the washcloth and envelopes Luis in a side hug, leaving him with a free hand to gently rub Luis's belly with. 

“Please don't cry, honey. I'm sorry. I could have made my point without raising my voice and swearing. If you can just take my words at face value, believe me when I say that I love you and forgive you, I'll never raise my voice at you again. And I'm a lot more sorry for saying that I'd be with Mia starting a family right now, I shouldn't have said that. Makes it sound like I'd rather be with her and settled for you. That's not true. The Baker Incident just changed us too much, we couldn't ever go back to what we had before. You're a much better fit for the person I've become since then. I'm glad I hesitated when Mia was asking to have a baby. I'm glad that I'm here having a baby with you, not having a baby with Mia while we were locked up in a BSAA facility where we were treated like lab rats, constantly arguing because she refused to acknowledge anything in our lives was wrong and thought my attitude was the only problem. You were exactly what I needed, someone that likes to dig into situations and excited to be given a problem to tackle,” The water starts running cold, so Ethan takes his hands off of Luis to turn the water off. Then he cradles Luis's belly with both hands. “I love you, and I love the baby you're carrying. And I know you love and care about me, or you wouldn't be trying so hard to push me away.”

“I do. I do love you,” Luis lets go of his death grip on the railing to wrap his arms around Ethan and put his head on his shoulder, and Ethan moves his hands to Luis's back. He can't press himself against Ethan as closely as he wants to, but he can't be too annoyed, because the obstacle between their bodies is his own pregnant stomach. Whether he deserves Ethan or not, he's having his baby. “If Chris hadn't brought you to me, I'd still be a shell of a person, barely eating, living in squalor, only continuing to stay alive because of my promise to Leon. You made me want to stay alive.”

“Good, because I like having you alive. And healthy. Now you gotta let me take care of you so you can stay alive and healthy.  It's not just about me and you anymore, we've got a baby on the way now, and they deserve to have both their dads in their life. No more feeling like a burden and thinking I'm going to leave you, no more of me raising my voice and making you cry, okay? We'll have a baby in a couple months, that's something to be happy about, so we're going to be happy,” Ethan stops hugging Luis, who reluctantly stops clinging to Ethan. “Sit down on the edge of the tub for a minute. I'm going to go get you a warm towel from the dryer for you, then I'll carry you back to bed. Don't try to get up on your own, it's not worth it.”

“I know, Ethan. I know,” Extra cautious, Ethan holds Luis's hand until he's securely in a sitting position. “I won't move a muscle until my knight in moldy armor comes back to sweep me off my feet and carry me back to bed.”

“And? There was something you promised me you'd do before we got in the shower.”

“Shit, that's right. I did. I'll keep my word, eat whatever giant breakfast you decide to make for me.”

“And maybe after you eat…” Ethan gets a mischievous smile. “I'll put some work in to find out if there's anywhere on your thighs I can kiss that still have enough sensation for you to feel it?”

“Easy there, mold man. Remember, the humidity hasn't done anything for me, just you. I'm still as tired as ever, feeling horribly unattractive, and just not in the mood. I wish I realized humidity got you so damn fired up sooner, I would have asked you to take a hot shower every time I wanted to take it rough…” That thought almost gets Luis in the mood, but the exhaustion wins out. He'll let Ethan explore his thighs eventually, just not yet. “I'm sorry, mi amor. It's not that I don't want you to do that, I'm just too beat right now and taking a rain check, got it?”

“No pressure. It won't be a good time for me if you're not into it,” Ethan throws a t-shirt on and presses a quick kiss on top of Luis's head before heading for the bathroom door. “Alright, I'll be right back.”

[ganymedesclock]

Clockie, I'm still kind of down from Coran's show making Hunk look dumb. Do you have any Hunk positive head cannons or theories rattling about in that astounding mind of yours?

So something I’ve been kicking around for a while is a comment made by part of the show’s crew that while it’s fun, from a writing perspective, to show off how smart Hunk is, it’s not something he himself focuses on because it’s “not his passion”, and I think how I read that is...

Pidge clearly has a lot of identity bound up in being smart. She’s socially awkward and this is the element of herself she’s most confident putting forwards- we see this in s1e1 where the first time she seems really actually happy is smugly declaring she built all her equipment, and in s4e2 in the first flashback, she’s clearly trying to make friends/connect with people by offering up information.

Hunk is not, remotely, even in the slightest, stupid, any more than Lance is a seductive homme fatale, any more than Pidge rattles meaningless jargon, any more than Shiro is a brainless beauty whose only appeal is his Heroic Musculature. Any more than Allura is Keith, or Keith himself is an arrogant lone wolf. These concepts are bundled together under the unifying umbrella of they’re completely wrong about who these people are.

Because Lance flirts but in his vlog acknowledges he’s not actually ready for a serious relationship, because when people reciprocate he rapidly turns into a timid dork about it whose idea of impressing a girl is “....do you wanna see me climb this tree”, who in s2e2 the idea of someone kissing him on the cheek because they were grateful to him was a big deal. Because Pidge is very inclined to heavy vocabulary but it is anything but meaningless.

Because Hunk’s hilarious- but as a brilliant, sociable person who’s immediately likable. He’s totally okay with the “humorous” thing because Hunk is funny, we’ve seen him! Guy has a killer appreciation for puns. But of course, Worm Coran is marketing this in the most shallow superficial way possible and he’s not letting any of them shine the way they’re actually good at.

I think the key difference between Hunk and Pidge is they’re intellectual equals, but Pidge takes her intelligence very personally. It’s kinda the only game she has, she’s still awkwardly growing into a lot of other things and as a prodigious fifteen-year-old who struggles to connect outside her family, it’s sort of the bastion she hides behind.

Hunk? Hunk is two years older than Pidge, and even the way he talks about his area of expertise betrays that he has a much more grounded (one might even say earthy) understanding. He doesn’t just understand the subject matter brilliantly, but he summarizes, uses metaphors, explains things in a very easily digestible manner. Which requires excellent command of the subject matter- because he knows how to truncate and summarize. Matt in s4e3 points out that Hunk’s making all of these impressive cognitive leaps behind the scenes to which he very knowingly and smugly replies “Yeah, well, I try.”

The underlying thread to Hunk’s interests seems to be that he’s fond of things that are approachable, but have near infinite potential to be built on. It’s very easy to pick up cooking and baking, or simple machinery- but from there, the sky is the limit to how sophisticated and advanced you can get. It very much ties Hunk back to his element and his whole theme of foundations. Hunk with a good foundation is unstoppable- a determined juggernaut that even Shiro hesitates at (see, s1e6 and the “I knew it” rant) worthy of his Lion. This is the guy that slammed his vehicle headfirst into Zarkon’s flagship and popped out of it blasting the hell out of everybody in his way.

Without it, he struggles- we see this very literally with his motion sickness, which almost entirely fades the longer the show goes on- as he gains more confidence. So it makes sense that Hunk loves things that he can cultivate over time, deepening and enriching his understanding.

In mythology, the aspect of earth has often been associated with wealth and plenty, and Hunk’s close connections to Pidge (forest) and Lance (water) would also create an image of agriculture- which Hunk also shows that his understanding of food goes all the way down to the fundamentals of where it comes from considering in order to make milkshakes out of actual fresh cow milk he’d need to know how to pasteurize it. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Hunk rounds this out with knowledge of the photosynthetic process, digestion and nutrition, and probably also understands machinery down to the nature of how certain minerals and materials are formed and where in the earth they’re found. 

So Hunk presents a complacent surface- he takes his brain for granted and doesn’t have the slightly needy emotional tie to it that Pidge does- but the breadth and depth of his knowledge would betray that Hunk actually is a highly curious person- and we see this somewhere else.

See, Hunk very specifically disregards boundaries when he’s emotionally invested in something. All the way back in s1e3, the first sign we have of Hunk connecting emotionally with the team?

Bear hugs for everybody.

Even earlier than that, him taking proper interest in Pidge?

Look at this face. This is not the visage of a man who is clueless about boundaries and just bumbling into people by mistake. He knows exactly what he did.

Hunk gets interested in things and people and his response is to wade up to his armpits in it. And that, I think, is the thing that gets him following Lance into situations even when he’s talking about it being a bad idea- because actually his sense of adventure is, ultimately, stronger than his fear of the unknown. Part of him not only wants to poke in and figure it out, but, he doesn’t want someone to just hand him that understanding- he wants the satisfaction of dismantling this himself.

Half of his “I knew it” rant in s1e5 wasn’t even directed at Rolo, really- again, it’s the, “I had the satisfaction of figuring this out.”

Personally, this makes me think that Hunk and Pidge probably learned what they know from very different sources- while Pidge seems to have hit the books very hard and spent a lot of time around her very highly educated family and the high-education Garrison, I would guess that Hunk’s access to higher education probably came after a massive volume of his knowledge- that Hunk is overwhelmingly self-taught. He strikes me as the kid who dismantled the TV remote, and then the TV, and then got frustrated because he figured out the TV could run better if you did this instead, and after a while the level of his fiddling hit such a threshold that he inevitably had to go play with the Garrison’s space program because he was having a hard time finding a challenge any more. And sure, it’s quite possible he had some academic training pre-Garrison but it would be overwhelmingly supplemented with going home and trying it himself, Mythbusters style. He strikes me as an incredibly hands-on kinetic learner.

But to Hunk, it’s not a big deal- again, it’s not really a part of his identity to prove his smarts as much as it’ll just bug him if he leaves this thing without digging out its secrets. He isn’t invested in proving his intellectual supremacy as much as he is invested in connecting with people and the world and exploring them- continuing to endlessly feed his curiosity and, to a degree, his desire to take care of others.