#and YES! THAT'S WHAT I WANT!!! THAT'S MERCY TO ME!!! THE DOCTOR WHO FORGETS TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF

[bixels]

What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

[littlefireball]

ʏʜ|ᴋɪꜱꜱ ᴍᴇ, ꜰ**ᴋ ᴍᴇ, ʜᴇᴀʟ ᴍᴇ (ᴍ)

ᴇx-ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ ʏᴜɴʜᴏ x ᴇx-ɢɪʀʟꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ|ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ|ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ᴀʀɢᴜᴍᴇɴᴛ|ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx|ʀᴏᴜɢʜ ꜱᴇx(??)|ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ|ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴜꜱɪɴɢ ᴛᴇʟᴇᴋɪɴᴇꜱɪꜱ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ

ꜰᴋ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ: ʏᴇᴏꜱᴀɴɢ, ꜱᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ, ᴊᴏɴɢʜᴏ, ꜱᴀɴ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 3.2ᴋ

Some kind of rewrite Doctor AU (the previous one is not that good sorry🥲)

"Fuck it…so damn hurt…" As you stirred from your slumber, a jolt of agony shot through your abdomen. Glancing around at the sterile medical apparatus surrounding you, it dawned on you that you were back in the hospital—again. This marked your fifth visit in just a few months. Why, oh why, did your body choose this moment to betray you? The relentless demands of life and the toll of your menstrual cycle had conspired to weaken you further, leaving you feeling more fragile than ever.

Just then, a knock echoed through the room, jolting you from your thoughts. To your utter disbelief, the doctor who entered was your ex-boyfriend, Jeong Yunho.

"Fuck…" You buried your face in your hands, desperately trying to shield yourself from the reality of the situation. All you wanted was to vanish into thin air.

"Miss Y/N, well…" He walked to you, placing down thick documents on the table. "You really need to be careful with your power. Overdoing it can weigh heavily on your spirit," Yunho said, glancing over your health reports with a serious expression.

"I've heard you say that more times than I can count, Dr. Jeong," you replied, exhaling dramatically and rolling your eyes, a hint of annoyance creeping in.

"But you never take it to heart," he countered, setting the reports aside to focus on you. "Look at you—back in the hospital again." He glanced over the medical reports forwarded from various hospitals and couldn't suppress a disapproving shake of his head.

"It's just a bit of dizziness, nothing major," you said nonchalantly, shutting your eyes to escape his piercing gaze.

"That dizziness is a warning sign that your spirit is on the brink," Yunho pressed, his tone firm. "This isn't a joke, Y/N. A severe headache and dizziness indicate you've pushed yourself too far."

"If you continue like this, no matter how much medicine you take, it won't stop the pain." His warning carried a weight that was strikingly different from his usual demeanor. There was no one to blame; no one wanted to heal their ex;it was only natural to feel irritated, especially when his words seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"I will prescribe some medications. Make sure that you take them daily and please don't OVERUSE your power." He deliberately emphasized his tone, giving you a serious look. "Yes,sir." You helplessly said, pouting.

"Take a rest." He collected his things and made a move to exit, but instead, he concealed himself and peered at you through the window. He knew you so well, fully aware that you wouldn't listen to his pleas.

You let out a frustrated curse as the familiar agony of period pain gripped you once more. The painkillers that had once been your saviors seemed powerless now, leaving you at the mercy of the relentless discomfort. Sitting up straight, you focused your telekinesis to summon a cup for some soothing hot water, but just then, Yunho burst through the door, causing you to startle.

"Did you just forget what I said?" He gazed at the cup suspended in the air, his eyebrow arching in disbelief.

"I… I just want some water. Not… not…overuse my power" You managed a sheepish smile, your words tumbling out in a fluster. He moved closer, snatching the cup and filling it with water before placing it right in front of you. "Just get off the bed and grab some water. It's not that far."

"I would do it if I could." You murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

"Can't you just listen to my words at least once?Or you want to be more painful?" Yunho crossed his arms, saying impatiently, "You've always been like this all the time."

"Does it matter to you?" You countered. "You can just leave me alone and you don't have to do that much. We broke up."

"Listen, I'm your doctor, and you're my patient. This is just how it is, okay?" He let out a weary breath.

The tension in the room seemed to thicken with each passing moment, as if the very air was struggling to bear the weight of the unresolved emotions lingering between the two of you. Yunho's expression and gaze softened as he took a step closer, but there was still a trace of exasperation in his eyes.

"It does matter to me, Y/N," he said, his voice low and sincere. "Even if we're not together anymore, I still care about you. And as your doctor, it's my responsibility to ensure that you're taking care of yourself. Your powers are a gift, but they're also a burden if you don't use them wisely."

You looked down at your hands, avoiding his gaze, feeling a mixture of guilt and frustration. You knew he was right─overusing your power caused your body to almost collapse. Severe menstrual pain was one of proofs, which you didn't have it before.

"I'm trying," you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper. But the truth was, you were lying to both him and yourself. You clung to the power that had become both your curse and your shield, a double-edged sword that offered strength at a steep cost.

"Y/N, you're not invincible," he said, his voice softening as he reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Your powers are incredible, but they come with a cost. You can't keep sacrificing your health for money or whatever other reasons you might have. You're worth more than that." Yunho's eyes bore the weight of concern as he examined you, his words gentle but firm.

"I'm here for you, Y/N. You're still the person I used to love, even if we're not together anymore. That doesn't change the fact that I want you to be happy and healthy."

You nodded, a smile struggling to break free. Just someone he used to love? Why did that thought sting? Wasn't it the reality? Deep down, you still held onto feelings for him, even if you'd never confess it. The memory of that day he ended things lingered sharply in your mind—"We're not meant to be." He was right; it was a perplexing paradox between you two—he dedicated his life to preserving others, while you were the one who brought them to an end.

That was not what you desired but your family had twisted your power into a tool of manipulation, forcing you to engage in unspeakable deeds—murders, thefts, every crime imaginable staining your hands.

Yunho initially believed he could sway your thought, but he soon realized he was mistaken. You couldn't get rid of your toxic family.

"I'm tired. I wanna take a nap." Sighed, you laid down to the bed, closing your eyes. The conversation had to end; each word echoed the depth of your love for him and the ache that lingered since his departure. You fought back the tears, determined not to let him see your vulnerability.

Yunho stood still instead of leaving. From the instant he laid eyes on you, a deep ache settled in his heart. What has caused your health to deteriorate so drastically? What has your family done to you? A whirlwind of questions swirled in his mind, anchoring him in place. He recognized the absurdity of it all. He was the one who had initiated the breakup, yet here he was, grappling with an overwhelming reluctance to move on. If the break up had never happened, would things have turned out differently? He found himself unable to resist asking.

"Hiss…it's so fucking hurt…" Believing he had already departed, you let out a sharp gasp. You forced yourself to endure, wearing a mask of indifference, while inside, you were battling the period pain. "Why?Why?"

"Are you alright? What's going on?" Yunho's sudden voice surprised you, making your eyes wide open.

"Why are you here?" You startled. "…Nothing…I'm fine."

"Fine?! You look pale, and you say you're fine?" You were silent.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me the truth."

"Can't you just…hiss…" The sharp pain creeped in, causing you to look even more pale.

"It's alright, it's alright," he reassured, gently patting your back, and gradually, the cramping began to ease. "Just tell me what's going on so I can help you."

"How can you possibly help?" you whispered, lowering the blanket to reveal your weary eyes. "The painkillers aren't doing anything…"

"Where does it hurt?" Yunho's voice was tender, but you quickly pulled the blanket back, murmuring, "It's period pain."

"Wait, what?" he replied, confusion etched on his face. "I said it's period pain." You pushed the blanket aside, a pout forming on your lips.

"Hold on. Period pain? But you never had this before. When did it start?"

You thought of the breakup. You wanted to confess, but chose to keep that part to yourself.

"I forget." He knew you lied as he noticed your habit when you were saying something fake. "I can drink some hot water…"

"Do you think it's gonna work?" Yunho cutted off your words with a serious tone. "Drinking hot water is not useful─"

"So what can I do?" You said, your impatience bubbling over. "Please don't say I should ask for your help…" you grumbled quietly, hoping he wouldn't catch your muttering.

"What did you say?" Yunho inquired, while you fidgeted with your fingers.

"I told you not to suggest I ask you to fuck—" You abruptly halted, realizing you were just rambling. A heavy silence enveloped the room, and a deep crimson crept across your cheeks, flooding you with embarrassment.

"Nothing! Just leave my room!" you exclaimed, disregarding the tightness in your stomach as you pushed Yunho out by using your power, slamming the door behind him. You then buried yourself in the embrace of your blanket.

Shit!It's embarrassing!How can you say what you're thinking?!

After a while, a knock echoed through the room. Had Yunho called more doctors? "Come in," you whispered into the blanket, only to discover it was Yunho himself, walking to you with a towel in hand.

"What're you doing?" You asked, watching him to lock the door and close the curtain. "To do what you ask me to do."

"Wait!Wait!Wait!" You sat up straight, urging him to stop unbuckling his coat. "I…I…that's not what I mean." "So, what do you mean?" Gripping your chin, he climbed over the bed.

You struggled to find your voice, stammering as he held you down. Your bodies were pressed together, the heat between you palpable as he leaned in, his breath brushing against your skin, igniting a wave of shyness within you.

"Don't we do it so many times?"

"Shut…shut up."

"Then push me away." He let out a smirk, pinning your hand above your head firmly. "But I know you wouldn't."

"Who…who said…" He stopped your word with a kiss.

"See?You didn't resist at all."

"So…you gonna help me? But don't you hate me? Don't you think we're not a match? Do─"

He stopped your words with a sudden kiss and you melted for it.

"I can't see you suffer. It cuts deep. I believed I could handle it, but the truth is, I can't." Their eyes locked, revealing a shared sorrow that seemed to echo in the silence. "My heart shatters every time I look at you. What has happened to you? What has your family put you through? I regret thinking I could walk away. I just…sorry…please let me make up for you."

Gently brushing your cheek as if seeking your consent, he lowered himself to kiss you once you gave a nod. Perhaps he couldn't articulate the courage behind his actions, but his heart was leading the way. As the kisses grew more passionate, a wave of memories washed over you; bittersweet yet brimming with love.

With your arms encircling his shoulders, you drew him nearer, savoring the softness of his touch as his hands glided down to your lower body. Both of your clothes were thrown anywhere, leaving you both naked making out on the bed.

"Don't be too loud or they will know what we are doing." He whispered, leaving a peck on your lips before placing a towel under your thighs. "You know you're a moaner." You patted his chest playfully, earning a doting smirk from him. But the laugh soon died out as his tip rubbed against your entrance, he couldn't help but hiss when he saw your blood.

"Don't force yourself…I'm okay with it." "No, honey. Just wait for me for a second." He tucked the blanket higher, ensured to shield you both from prying eyes and keep your nudity hidden. Yet, a deeper flush crept across his cheeks as the reality of the moment sank in.

He was fucking his ex-girlfriend in his work place. Oh my goodness! What if his co-worker sees? But they won't find it, right?

"Yunho…?" Your soft whimper pulled him back to reality.

"Yes, honey?"

"Are you okay? You can just stop if you don't want to."

"It's fine, everything's fine." A grin failed to mask his anxiety. His hands quivered slightly as he leaned closer to you. An odd feeling washed over him; the combination of warmth and moisture stirred a sense of discomfort. It was sticky, yet he couldn't deny that it felt strangely pleasurable at the same time.

When he wanted to move, you stopped him by gripping his shoulder tightly. "Please don't move…You're too…too big…Just let me adjust first." It was not your first time but indeed you haven't done this in a long time.

"Tell me if you're okay." He murmured, not sure what to do but just stayed still. "Are you shy?" You tilted your head, finding his ears redden. He blinked several times and avoided your gaze instead of answering, making you let out a chuckle.

"Can you kiss me?" You cupped his face to make eye contact with him, whispering softly. As your request hung in the air, he pressed his lips against yours with a gentle urgency. Tears brimmed in your eyes, cascading down your cheeks like delicate raindrops. Enveloped in the warmth of your kisses, he began to move with excruciating slowness, ensuring you could feel every vein of his cock.

Your toes curled as he hitted your sweet spot without any error; he still remembered your body clearly. His cock rubbed against your tight wall while his pelvis grazed your clit. Breathless, you tilted your head back against the pillow and let out a gasp, feeling him to go deeper as if breaking through your limit. Yet, the sensation was so delightful that it nearly overshadowed the discomfort of menstrual cramps.

He could feel your blood flow out more as he slid deeper each time. Imagine that it was cum but not blood made him feel better, even more excited. It was too good to be so deep inside of you. Your wall kept squeezing and sucking him in, giving him a wave of pleasure. Guided by his desire, he left your legs up to fold you as a mating press, gripping your thighs as a support, drawing his hips backward before shoving into your soaked cunt.

"Yu…yunho…" Choppy moaning and the skin slapping sound mixed in the room, urging both of you to lose in this love making. "Don't be too loud." He pressed his lips against yours to muffle your groan, only a soft whine left your tongue as he fucked you rougher and rougher.

"Shit, I think I can't last long." Parting from your lips, he sat up straight and settled his hands on your waist, moving you back and forth roughly to chase his high. "Yu…yu…ahh…fuck!" "Call me like this again, honey." "Yuyu, please…" The bed trembled fiercely, the vibrations nearly overpowering your soft cries. Your fingers turned pale as they clutched the pillow tightly, a tight knot twisting in your stomach.

Of course, he knew you were on your limit, and he was either. His cock twitched each time his tip battered your spot, all the heat rushed to it. "Cum for me, honey. Let me feel you again." His words pushed you to the edge and came hard, dripping on the towel. "Goodness, you squirted. Feel that good?" His thrusts lost his rhythm as he lifted his head up, then cumming all in the condom with a long-throaty moan.

Breathing hard, he fell against you, pressing his lips to yours. "Do you feel okay now?" "Yeah…thank you." He tenderly brushed your hair back, his fingers gliding over your flushed cheek. "I was afraid we might never see each other again." You whispered. "Yet here we are." He grasped your hand, placing a gentle kiss on it, his voice as soothing as it was before your relationship began.

"I think…I still love you." Yunho admitted, causing tears to shimmer in your eyes. "I feel the same way. But…" The shadows of your past loomed over you, a relentless specter. You were terrified, terrified of reliving the heartache. "It's alright, Y/N. Take all the time you need." He understood your fears, resolute in his patience, choosing to let things unfold naturally. You nodded, enjoying the solace in his embrace.

Thanks to his treatment and care, you soon could be discharged from the hospital.

"Please don't overuse your power again. I really don't want to see you in the hospital," Yunho repeated, concern etched on his face.

"Can you cut down on the lecture?" You rolled your eyes, a light laugh escaping your lips. "Honestly, you sound just like my mom."

"What? I'm just looking out for you," Yunho shot back. "You act like a little kid who refuses to grow up."

"A kid? I'm a grown woman! I can handle myself just fine." "Then you won't be at the hospital every week." You pouted, crossing your arms. "Anyway, I have to go. Bye!" As you turned to leave, he called out to you.

"Hey, y/n."

"What?"

"Here." Yunho pulled a slip of paper from his pocket and handed it to you, revealing his phone number.

"Your number?" You tilted your head, intrigued.

"Yep. I changed it. Call me if you ever need anything."

"Thanks!" A smile spread across your face, warmed by his gesture. "But I'm not looking for a mom." Yunho's smile faltered at your words, uncertainty creeping in.

"Kidding." You teased, finding his reaction endearing.

"You should make up for me then." he said, stepping closer and lowering himself to meet your gaze.

"Why?"

"Cuz you hurt me." He pouted, looking so adorable. You suddenly gave a peck on his cheek, making heat rush to your cheeks.

"I gotta go now."

"See you then." He gently ruffled your hair, a smile lingering on his lips. "Don't hesitate to call." You nodded, turning to leave.

Perhaps the fog of yesterday will gradually lift, yet you still require just a bit more, only a touch more time. But never mind because Yunho will wait for you. He would never lose you again, never.

tag list:@angelsaway

[cowboymater]

controversial opinion maybe:

I KNOW. i know. hear me out

i saw a couple edits on tiktok of mcspirk to soldier poet king and like. i’m not putting anyone on blast but good lord some of those choices made my head hurt. it’s taken me a couple days to synthesize my reasoning for the superior choice (as pictured above), but here goes:

the problem with assigning characters to soldier poet king comes when you take it at face value, flattening the paradigm to angry-sad-tired or violent-artsy-authoritative. if we want to get down to the root of it, the song is based on the threefold office of christ as priest (soldier), prophet (poet), and king. like i’m not christian, but on a textual level it gives us context: the concept that as prophet jesus gave us counsel and words of wisdom, as priest he sacrificed himself to redeem us, and as king he provides for, defends, and forgives us

maybe the most famous priest/prophet/king (& thus soldier/poet/king) allegory in all of literature is frodo, gandalf, and aragorn. frodo bears the burden, though he wishes he did not need to; gandalf offers words of wisdom and mercy; aragorn is a born leader, on the front lines with sword in hand, ready to die with his men if he must

KING: capt. james t. kirk is the easiest one to place. it is a burden and a privilege, an honor and a horror to have the lives of so many depend upon you to make the right call under fire. he makes the call. he leads the landing parties, he puts himself at the head of the charge because by god he is not about to send his men into a battle he wouldn’t fight himself. he leads—with heart when he can, steel when he must—and people follow him. bones and spock are always right behind because they believe in what he believes in, and more than that they believe in him

POET: bones serves as kirk’s emotional sounding board, his moral peer review. he lends an ear, and the word of an old country doctor who’s seen much and understands more. man has ascended to the heavens, to hurtling through the void in a glorified tin can, and it would be no great hardship to forget that our place in the universe is not that of higher life—we are not as quasi-gods, moving pieces on the great three-dimensional chessboard, but flesh and blood, and we must attend to each other. bones tempers the pure logos and rationality offered by spock; he offers grounding in this age of technology that wrinkles the fabric of reality, offers the kind of emotional intellect that cannot be taught, and has always been sorely needed

SOLDIER: this is the one where you really get tripped up by surface-level analysis. yes, spock is reserved and collected. yes, vulcans are pacifists (as you may recall, so are hobbits, and yet frodo remains the soldier in allegory)

the thing about vulcans, though, is that despite the vegan pacifism, they are warriors. it’s tangled up in their history and their DNA. the koon-ut-kal-if-fee survived through centuries of analytical dogma for a reason; even now, they cannot wholly escape their inheritance of violence. their forefathers ran the sands of vulcan green with blood. they venerate logic and condemn emotionality so that they will not

your average high-achieving vulcan, probably on the path to kolinahr, commits their lifetime to the pursuit of knowledge at the vulcan science academy. it’s a measured, rational decision. a controlled environment, where there will never be any logical reason to resort to violence

spock joins starfleet

he joins starfleet, and pursues knowledge in the vast unknowable universe. there is reason for violence, frequently. and sure, the purpose of their mission is peaceful. it’s true that spock would rather resolution be reached without force. but a soldier needs not want to be a soldier. he only needs go to war

when it comes down to blows, he will match them. he makes the sacrifice play, jumps on the grenade, goes into the radiation-soaked engineering room alone. it’s only logical, after all

spock is there to pick apart the universe, unravel the threads of logic until it all makes sense. bones is there to stitch it up. kirk is the hand that holds it all steady, the gravitational field that binds the people of the enterprise to their purpose. soldier-poet-king, commander-doctor-captain. it’s a story old as dirt, and we’ll keep telling it, i think

edit: my bad vulcans have. green blood

[andsoigotabutterfly]

-Save me from her - chapter 6

Tara Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: Madness, feelings and blood.

a/n: I feel like I'm making this a habbit, but sorry for making you wait for this long again. I don't know why, but there isn't much time when I feel motivated enough to write. I'm trying to make a schedule for myself right now to improve on my time management, so maybe that'll help?

warnings: amateur writing, blood, graphic descriptions of murder, awkward conversation, swearing, canon-typical violance, multiple POV's, mixed POV's, insanity, going mad, ANGST

Everything seemed futile. There was no light at the end of the tunnel and even if there would've been (which again; there was none), there was no hope to get there. On knees, which barely even responded to commands anymore. No hope for healing. Yet she crawled onwards.

Why was she crawling again? She didn't know. She couldn't remember... She couldn't remember who she was. And so, the dark was even more welcoming.

“My name is Annabelle!” She reminded herself “I have a family. Ma, Lolly, Da, Nicks. I love them.”

But do they love me?

She... couldn't remember. Why would she? She wanted to forget. She couldn't even remember why she was trying to forget. Yet she did...

“No!” She screamed. What was she screaming into? Did it matter? “My name is Annabelle. I have a family. Ma, Lolly, Da, Nicks. I love them.”

She would crawl. She would try to remember. She would scream.

Crawl so she reaches the light. Try to remember, so she wouldn't lose herself. Scream so she lets the world know of her pain.

But the light just went further away. The memories would fade into oblivion. The world would ignore her. It wasn't fair.

“Yes, it is.” She would hear her own voice. “It fair in every way possible. Ma is dying and here you are, crawling towards something that's unreachable. Towards your own selfish freedom. Is it worth it?”

She would crawl. She would try to remember. She would scream.

As she took in her own words, a new light appeared to her left. It was so beautiful. A blue light, that lit up her hopes.

“We can save Ma.” She heard herself again. “We just need to be quick with it. Or Lolly kills her.”

The thought passed through her mind. As it did, all those red lights that were layed down with the help of Ma all screamed. They screamed of danger. They screamed so she wouldn't cave in. But it was so alluring...

“No!” She said to herself. “My name is Annabelle. Ma, Lolly, Nicks. I love them.” -She would crawl...

“Remember that movie we watched together?” She heard herself again. “The one with the ghostlike killer?” The mask suddenly shot itself into her mind, engraining itself into her. “Ah, so you do! I also remember. I remember sitting in your lap whilst Lolly tried to hide herself in your neck.” The image flashed through her mind just like the mask. “But she has always been easy to scare, hasn't she? “- ...she would try to... to forget...

“She leeched off us and didn't even care about OUR state!” Her voice was raised now, dripping with hatred. “And now” she heard herself scoff “now she's laying limp, helpless and dying and wants to kill Ma so she can live? Is that something you can call fair?” -...she would wail.

No, it's not” she said and turned towards the blue light. It was so much easier to approach it. The only thing she needed to do was ignore the red lights. Had they any meaning anyways?

Finally, we can agree on something! What do you say, should we save her? Should we butcher the doctors who are trying to kill her? Even as she screams, shouts, and begs for mercy! Lolly betrayed us! Why are they trying to save her? It makes no sense! She said we would find a solution together but what does she do instead? She kills Ma and gets on with her life like nothing happened. So, funnily enough, we come back to the same question again; Is. That. Fair.”

“No, it's not... My name is Anna... Ma... Lolly...”

As she got closer and closer to the light, she could stand up again. Walk again. It felt liberating.

“Ma won’t have to scream anymore. Won’t have to shout and beg anymore!”

She would run. She would forget. She would laugh.

“My name... Our name... it doesn’t matter...”

She would cry. She would rip. She would kill.

“Lolly...”

We hate her.

----------------------------

"So let me get this straight; you believe a doll will stop her?" Mindy's voice was filled with doubt. Rightfully so, Tara thought. It was a ridiculous statement. Yet when she saw your face and the utter sincerity it displayed, her doubts and worries faded. You looked cute. And beautiful. "I mean, you have to admit, it's a pretty wild claim..."

After finally convincing you to lay back a little and rest more, Tara and you were cuddled up to each other on your bed whilst the others somewhat shifted in their positions. Anika was sitting in Mindy’s lap on one of the two chairs inside the room, whilst Chad occupied the other. Sam was still standing in the corner, watchful and aware like a guardsman on duty.

 "Did I stutter?" you asked, on a voice far more raised than it needed to be. Everybody was looking at you, except for Anika, who was shaking her head, the smallest of smiles appearing on her face. The same one you also had. That small smile made butterflies erupt in her stomach. God, the things she would do to keep in there for the rest of your lives.

 You awkwardly cleared your throat and continued little more shyly. "Yes, I believe it will stop her. Or at least make her pause. That's all we need. A little stumble, brake in her assault. At the police station she was brutal, relentless, and precise. Even the least amount of time could help us. Also, you haven't seen how obsessed she was with that doll. Even before..." your trailed off, as you searched for the right words.

 "Before going mental" Chad finished for you. The second he saw the hurt on your face, regret washed over his. "Sorry" he mumbled.

 "Ma always said that Dolly was a bad influence on her, but whenever we wanted clarification, she only waved it off." Anika took over. "Only later would Da tell us that she got it from her childhood best friend, Dolores, seconds before getting run over by a bus."

 At their pained reaction you said. "Yeah, we had the same reaction. Anna started thinking about the doll as the friend that passed, even if only subconsciously. Hence, Dolly. Later, any time Anna would do something bad, she blamed it on Dolly, that she was the one that convinced her to do it. Sometimes it would even be entertaining. I mean, the ridiculous statement that her doll could convince her of something." you scoffed. "Well, at least back then it was."

 "So, she lost both her best friend and her mom" Chad cut in. "No wonders she went crazy."

 "You think she still believes her doll to be her friend?" Sam asked doubtfully. Why was everybody doubting you, Tara wondered. It's not like you were saying the craziest... Okay, yes you were.

"Back in the asylum she wouldn't talk to anyone, just Dolly. The doctors said whenever they took it away from her, she would just stare at a wall, sometimes even hitting her head against it until they gave it back to her."

"That's fucked up man..." Chad said softly.

"Yes, it was" Anika said matter-of-factly. "Y/N went there every week for two years until the place burned down. They tried every treatment, yet she showed no sign of getting any better. So, I believe Y/N is right; Dolly might give us a fighting chance."

"And where is Dolly exactly?"

"At Da's old place. We stashed it there, with a couple more old gadgets."

At Sam's nod, the conversation quickly changed subject. After a time, the familiar calming buzz of the Meeks' arguing, and Anika's and Sam's voice set in. Tara leant more into you in the hospital bed, still being careful not to hurt you in any way. You rested your head against hers, whilst silently enjoying each-other's company, numbly listening to whatever the group was talking about. You put your hand around her and pulled her even closer. Your scent encompassed her and made her feel at peace. You felt like home.

"You know I always wanted to piece that quote perfectly into a conversation" you said quietly, so no one else would hear you but her.

"What quote?" she asked back just as softly.

"The Office one."

"Well, if you were going for perfect, you need to do better than that" she laughed.

"C'mon. It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"It was."

You mumbled something inaudible, probably cursing her entire bloodline for all she knew, but pulled Tara even closer to you and hid your face in the crook of her neck. She gently took your hands and intertwined her fingers with yours. She thought back to your first kiss. Then the one in the car. It filled her chest with warmth. Almost as if she could still feel your lips against hers. Maybe if she bent back enough, she could... wait. The car kisses. The audacity! She looked around for something suitable, then she took the pillow you weren't using, and threw it at Mindy with full force. As it landed with a satisfying thud, she smiled to herself.

"Who was th-" Mindy started but cut herself short when she saw the look on Tara's face. "What was that for?!" she all but shrieked.

At the sudden movement and raised voice, Tara could feel you look up to the others.

"That, you traitor, was for telling Anika what I shared with you over our first coffee at Timmy's!"

"What are you-. Oh!" Mindy's eyes widened even more, as another 'oh' left her mouth, her eyes darting between you, Tara, and Anika. Tara could almost hear the cogs turning in her brain, as she was trying to connect the dots. After some very awkward silence in the room, Mindy threw her a wide, cocky, toothy grin. "You're welcome."

"Tars, it still wasn't her faul-" you started, but got shut up by one of her pointed looks. "Okay, it was -partly- hers, but come on! You can't expect her to keep something that valuable fro-" you gulped at her stare. "Okay, I guess you can."

Anika and Mindy giggled but shut up the moment you threw them a hateful look.

"What are you guys talking about?" Chad asked.

"Just the fact that Mindy told me that Tara told her that she had a little-wittle crush on Y/N."

"I did not" Tara huffed silently.

"Oh, so you let anyone take you in their arms and kiss you then?" you asked her, just as quietly, so no one could hear you. She rolled her eyes but rested her head against yours again.

"Wait, Mindy you cheated!?" Chad revolted.

"Chea-, what are you talking about?" you asked.

"Oh, darling they betted when we would get together."

"They did what?!" Oh, you looked adorable when angry, Tara decided. She pressed a small kiss to the top of your head, which clearly caught you off-guard, an immediate blush forming on your cheeks, that you desperately were trying to conceal. Unsuccessfully, of course.

"Oh, you made the payments already?" Anika joined in.

Chaos unraveled in the room, as the Meeks' started shouting again, and Anika tried to collect her rewards. Tara laughed as your eyes widened when you saw how much money traded hands. But then you smiled, proudly at Anika. After Tara did a short count, she also felt impressed by your sister. She was undoubtedly the winner of this bet. "I teached her well" you whispered to Tara, which she could only laugh at.

-----------------

You couldn’t really focus on the conversation that was going on inside the room. You knew Tara felt your brain cogs turning, yet there was nothing you could do about it. Your thoughts just kept on relaying towards what you felt like an executioner’s axe hanging over your head, Anna. You still couldn’t quite believe she was back. It shouldn’t have been possible. You saw her burnt body with your own eyes. Just like her body had, the sight burnt itself into your brain, and was now showing itself.

Yet every single clue you could think of when it came to Ghostface pointed in her direction. The way she only targeted you at your apartment. The note on the homeless guy’s dead body. Her familiarity with you at the station. Her voice. You’d swear you could hear her voice underneath that damned modulator. And if it was indeed really her, then you were doomed. You weren’t ready to face her. Not after not giving up on her for two whole years, even after her first attack. Not after you cared for her every time you were at the asylum. Not after burying her.

You couldn’t shake off the thought that she could heal back when she was being watched, never giving up even for a second. You couldn’t shake of the hope that started growing inside you now. Thinking how she would ruffle your hair again after something you said, how she would hug you again when you were hurt. Thinking and remembering all the times she would whisper soothing words after one of the many injuries you had gotten, or when you got into a serious fight with your best friend. Even though she was just three years older than you, she still never acted like it. No. She always acted like the big sister, who had to protect you, who had to show you the things she had learnt before you.

Oh, how fun it was when she taught you something.

“Lolly!” her voice was filled with excitement as she barged into your room. “Look!”

She was holding some kind of dark rock in her hand. It looked funny. The light danced on it as if it were some kind of crystal. Maybe it was! Was this a gift?

“No” she chided you, as you stretched your tiny hands towards her to grab it. “It’s messy. When you touch it, it turns you black as well. See my hand? It’s black because of it. Da called it ‘coal’ and said it is used to make fires. But you can draw with it as well! Come, let me show you what I drew!”

You couldn’t even tell when you teared up. Has it been hours or seconds? You didn’t know and couldn’t really care. The more you replayed memories in your mind, the more possible it became to have her back. But why were you crying then?

Because she would never be back.

It didn’t matter how much you loved her; she was gone. Either dead, or so broken she couldn’t remember her own real feelings. You didn’t know which was worse.

And so, hope has let you down again, bringing only sadness in its wake.

“We should probably get going” you said quickly before bursting out in tears in front of all your friends, trying your best to keep a straight voice. After realizing that might have already happened, you wiped the small salty water trails of your face. “The sooner we get Dolly, the better.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to leave?” Tara asked. She sounded so soft, careful. It broke your heart even more.

“You need to rest more Kay” Anika said just as softly. Why are they treating you like this? “Me and the Meeks’ can grab her and be back-”

“What I need, is to get out of here” you interrupted her as you slowly crawled out of Tara’s arms. Somehow you managed to stand up without groaning. Progress. That’s what I like.

You shoved that thought away.

“Now let’s call the doctor and ask them for my things” you said as you quickly composed yourself. “I know I look lavishing in white robes, but I don’t think its street appropriate.”

--------------

The doctors, of course, wouldn’t let you go. Your insistence on you already being better did nothing to sway them. Fucking brats. They wouldn’t even give you back your clothes. Might as well let them keep it. They were all bloody anyway. You didn’t need them.

Mindy, Anika, and Chad left not long after Tara finally convinced you to go back to bed. It took a long time of planning and talking of what exact route they will be taking before you caved in. They promised they’ll be back in at least three hours. You still didn’t like how this was turning out. You felt helpless and as if you were and inconvenience. You probably are. For Sam’s insistence, Anika called Vasco and asked for some more men before leaving, and he said he’ll ask Bailey. They never arrived. He’s in on it too.

Sam kept pacing around the room like there was no tomorrow. Tara felt tense too under your arms. You couldn’t help but feel anxious as well. Who wouldn’t? Anna was loose, reinforcements haven’t arrived and the group split. Nothing was ideal. Everything was in fact, wrong. This last day shook your world completely and it could and would not feel real.

As time passed, so did the Carpenters nerve settle. Tara felt more at ease, leaning into you. Her smell was very distracting, which you were grateful for. You needed something that could anchor to the real world, and she was just that. You looked down at her, the dim light of the room dancing on her face. She is perfect.

You must have stared for a long time now as she spoke up.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

You couldn’t help but smile and look away sheepishly. “Sorry” you croaked quietly.

“No, no, it’s okay” she said quickly, smiling at your reaction. “I like it when you look at me.”

“I’m going to give you two the room” Sam stated, breaking both of you out of the little conversation for a few seconds until she left the room. At Tara’s worried look, she added “Don’t worry, I’m just gonna be outside the door.” With that she was gone. Good.

You awkwardly cleared your throat. “So, you like me looking at you?”

She scoffed and tried to hide her blush, realizing she won’t ever live this down. “Don’t flatter yourself, dork.”

“Well, I like looking at you. You are beautiful Tars.”

You could see her getting ten shades of red darker than she already was. If you blushed too, you would never notice. All your senses were filled by her. Her smile was blinding, her rapid heartbeat deafening. Her scent filled your nostrils, and a second later you felt her lips against yours as well, so you could taste her. In that moment nothing else mattered. Just her tender touch, her feel as she slowly started to move against you, her hand caressing your face. Heaven didn’t feel enough to describe where you felt at that moment. You could swear you would never need anything else, but her.

You never made any relationship you were in last because of the fear of vulnerability. You were too afraid to open up, as if anyone got that close to you, they could ruin you and there would be nothing you could do about it. Nothing to save you from annihilation. Falling was scary. Scarier than most experiences that you ever had.

Yet now, you knew it was okay to fall. It was okay because she was there to catch you. Here with her body pressing against yours, you weren’t afraid to crumble if she was the one who crashed you. There would be noone to save you from her. And it was more than acceptable.

You trust too easily.

As you came up for air, you looked deep in her eyes, and that thought faded like breath in the air on a cold day. Her shiny brown eyes radiated with love and care. Her hair was a bit messy, but she has never looked more beautiful than at that moment, in your arms.

“I thought you were beautiful since I lay eyes on you Tars” you breathed out shakily.

“You really think so?”

“Yes” you answered without hesitation.

She shifted a little, her hands awkwardly rubbing each other. You squinted your eyes in confusion before noticing what was really going on; she was rubbing the scar on her left hand. You smiled at her and gently took her hands in yours, stopping her motions.

“Nothing is going to change that Tars” you said softly and raised her left hand to kiss it. “Not this, not anything.”

She simply nodded at that, leaning into you. You could only hope she understood how you saw her, because you knew how conscious she was about her scars. Mindy told you she had more, but nobody ever spoke about it. You still couldn’t wrap your head around how someone who is supposed to be an other’s partner can do something like this.

You suppressed the anger that was building up inside you at the thought. You had the girl of your dreams in your arms. You couldn’t allow yourself to be angry.

You just sat in the bed in quiet for some time. The calming presence of each other was welcomed by both of you.

After a while Tara carefully moved off you and went to the night table, starting to swipe through her phone.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Mindy and the others should be back by now.”

Your heart clenched in instant, and you looked at the time on your phone. They should have arrived ten minutes ago, yet you couldn’t hear their voice from outside, and they hadn’t texted any-.

A gunshot soared through the air, followed by shouting and screaming from outside the room.

Tara and you looked at each other, horrified and ran to the door. When you tore it open you knew wherever Anika and the others were, they would either come too late, or never make it. Ghostface was standing over two of the four officers’ bodies that were here to protect you, their throats cut open. They were gasping desperately for air, with the only result of ultimately inhaling their own blood. Sam was facing you, right next to the door. She was probably on her way to warn you both. She was bleeding from a deep wound in her shoulder, holding some white and red stripes of clothing in her hand.

Time seemed to freeze as light dawned on you. Ghostface’s mask had been damaged. Two small pieces of it were missing, revealing not much of her face. But that was all enough for you. You could see her dark green eyes. You could see her grin. Nobody else had that grin and she only had it when she was having the time of her life.

Annabelle charged towards you.

[skayafair]

I love that Lizzy is capable AND she still has regular nasty breakdowns.

At first I really didn't like her. As I later realized, because of how uncomfortably she reminded me of my own petsonality sides I'd rather choose to forget. Or maybe how people who didn't like me wanted me to see myself and I adopted this view, I don't know. The point is, there are enough similarities, so I disliked Elizabeth for some time while trying to stay objective, and later came to really respect her.

The feeling of constant anxiety while you simultaneously try to make things right and do what's right, for example. And that nothing ever goes your way, even when in the beginning it may seem otherwise.

When Lizzy took charge, it was both a surprise and the most logical thing ever. When she couldn't convince anyone to perceive her as a leader - I mean truly, and the fact that the team doesn't really need a formal leader all that much didn't help, - I wasn't surprised at all. How familiar. This is why I hate to be in charge: go out of your way to do everything properly and consider everyone and everything, but all you get in the end is the responsibility. No perks, you're just kept accountable for all this mess both in front of the higher-ups and yourself. If the teammates are kind enough, that is. Being the leader when you aren't a people person (doesn't matter if you want to be one, people just categorized you as an outlier ever since you can remember yourself) is very difficult.

It's hard not to grow bitter with all this.

And the leader has no right to fail. The failures don't ask if you have this right or not though, they just happen. And you still can't just give in. You have the responsibility.

I honestly expected Cassius to dig their heels in and bear with this because they ARE charismatic, everyone warms up to them instantly, and they seem very responsible and resilient, stubborn. It was a surprise to me they gave up, but a welcomed one: it wasn't out of blue and I'm glad the show lays out all the reasoning so well. It really helped me understand the character more.

Lizzy doesn't give up though. She takes all the hits and jabs in, all the failures and pain, gets poisoned by them, but keeps going. Maybe because it's familiar anyway: yes everyone hates you (oh for goodness sake, they hated you anyway, says a little nasty voice in the back of your mind) but at least you're still doing what you must, keeping at least the ones you could keep alive - well, as safe as possible. Doing what's right in your mind with all you've got, so there's some small mercy in that.

You can't give up.

Except everything has a limit.

And I admire the fact that Elizabeth gets hysterical, picks fights, screams and cries and keeps going. She was entrusted with the responsibility and isn't going to give it up just because she can't bear the weight. Maybe it's an autistic thing - she really feels autistic to me and I guess I'm on the spectrum as well, and the thing is we often don't know how much is too much. It's like with the pain: we can often withstand a pretty severe one without showing as much discomfort as a neurotypical person would because we never know if it's considered bad enough and we're used to masking our whole lives. That episode with her hand made me properly remember for the first time how my right wrist got broken into several shards and the doctors asked if I want a local anesthesia or a general one to rearrange them. I was alone in a big city and there was no one to take care of me, so I couldn't lose consciousness, I had to be in control. No one told me people are usually sedated for such procedures. I don't think I ever screamed like back then because local anesthesia didn't do shit. I felt everything. I avoided remembering those minutes for years. That episode when Lizzy screamed led me through them again and I think I'm not as scared of them anymore. We often think in absolutes. Lizzy even said it herself: how her aunt taught her to help until it hurts bit didn't teach when to stop.

I used to keep going until I dropped. Often literally. My ex girlfriend was the one who got very angry at me for that, and this annoyed me af: why do you think you have a right to tell me what to do, it's my wellbeing, I choose what to do on my own! But even so I listened to her, at first begrudgingly, and unlearned this habit little by little. Looks like there was no one to help Lizzy with that. So she would stretch herself thin and then some more, until she can't function at all. Or at least that's my guess.

So this is what I admire: she still lets herself break down without giving up. I think it should help her take some tension off. She still allows herself to be human, a person, not only a function. It's... such a strength to me honestly. I think it should also make her more... approachable? available for human connections? You show human emotions in a situation when they are honestly expected, so that probably makes you look more "normal".

She's a mess, but what a beautiful one.

[consumed-by-fandom]

Every Postal 1 Voiceline cuz I’m a fucking nerd

I couldn't find any actual written collection of the voicelines from the og game, so I uh. Transcribed them myself. For no reason. So here you go if anyone wants them, and I might do redux after I play it.

Warning the list is really long so like don't click read more unless you're in a new tab or you don't mind scrolling lmao.

Taken from this very helpful video (check it out for optimal reading experience): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6usSBZeMWA

“Bleed.” (Twice)

“Let’s blow something up.”

“Buckwheat!”

“Burn.”

“Burn, baby, burn.”

“Buttsauce!”

“Smells like chicken.”

“Ooh, hole in one!”

“Sorry, I’m out of hot towels. Will this do?”

“This won’t affect my tip, will it?”

“You’re gonna need a massage after this.”

“You should’ve gone to Disneyland.”

“I could really kill for a massage right now.”

“Get ‘em, they’re stealing all the tennis balls!”

“Sorry, he checked out already.”

“Who peed in the pool?”

“Ah, alternative lifestyles.”

“Awh, rip the birthday suit.”

“Nudity is offensive.”

“Some people have no sense of decency.”

“You must be freezing, lemme warm you up.”

“Watch it wriggle, rich bastards.”

“Now do you agree that the customer is always right?”

“Forget the brown bag, you need a body bag.”

“Shut the ten items or less crap, bastard.”

“What do you mean this lane is closed? Now it is!”

“What do you mean this lane is closed? It is now!”

“I can’t stand bastards with coupons.”

“Sorry, no refunds ma’am.”

“Would you like a free sample?”

“Clean up on isle five.”

“Now that’s a blue light special!”

“Here’s your low price guarantee.”

“Proudly made in the USA, baby.”

“What do you mean you don’t take plastic?”

“What? You don’t sell Postal?” (Twice)

“Ugh, smells like sour milk.”

“Ahh, nothing like the smell of burning government cheese in the morning.”

“Listen. Can you hear the property values going up?”

“Gotta love welfare reform.”

“Do it quietly. Wouldn’t wanna wake up the neighborhood, would ya?”

“You maniacs, you blew it up! …Oh wait, that was me.”

“You should remain still when injured. Here, lemme help you.”

“What a mess… we can’t have anything nice.”

“What? You’re pinned down? Lemme help.”

“Shake it up, baby!”

“Wow, this grenade works great!”

“I’ll see you in hell. (Laughter)”

“Aww, do you have a boo-boo?”

“Eat lead, sucker!”

“Today is a good day to die!”

“The exterminator’s back!”

“You’re gonna pay for that.”

“I am the angel of death.”

“Show no mercy.”

“Damn, I’m good.”

“Death is my master.”

“Death is my friend.”

“Do you smell something burning?”

“Feel my wrath, dog.”

“Die like the dog you are.”

“Mmm, I love a good barbecue.”

“Judge, jury and executioner.”

“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

“Killing is good for the soul.”

“Die, weakling!”

“Wussy.”

“All must die.”

“Prosecution rests.”

“Case dismissed.”

“Checked out early.”

“Keep the change.”

“Satisfaction guaranteed.”

“Is there a doctor in the house?”

“Beg for this.”

“Die.” (Twice)

“Don’t be a sissy.”

“Only you can stop the evil.”

“Feel the heat.”

“Get ‘em!” (Twice)

“Going, going, gone.” (Twice)

“Good one.” (Twice)

“Going Postal.”

“Hoo-hah!”

“He’s outta there!”

“See you in hell!”

“I like it hot.”

“Kickin’ ass.”

“(Laughter)” (twice)

“They never liked you.”

“I regret nothing!”

“Oh, baby.”

“O.J!”

“Only my weapons understand me.”

“Postal.”

“Sissy.”

“Slam!”

“Ooh, did that hurt?” (Twice)

“Do it for the gibber!”

“The gun knows.”

“You’re the man.”

“Only my weapon understands me.”

“Yes!” (Twice)

[variousqueerthings]

Coming back to this laaaate, but @brilliantfantasticgeronimo hope it's okay I pull this onto a post, because it's easier for me to focus on than in replies!

this idea that the Doctor lands someplace and ruins everyone's day by being so Badass and Awestriking isn't really a Thing in Nu!Who "is also contrasted with the theme of the doctor inspiring *others* to do things (v Explicit theme in s1 but it's present in all those other CoDs you mention)... re:2, i think the one exception would be 7 but i think with 7 the chess-god-manipulator thing works bc we see the consequences of it thru ace. we also see it w/ amy and river but (cont) but i feel we never quite grapple w/ it emotionally (they adore the doctor anyway in the end) (except for a handful legit, hard-hitting eps like the girl who waited or town called mercy). .. and altho in both classic who and rtd who the companions function as a very important role *in the text*, u can still find fandom completely ignoring that and treating doc's 1-10 as power fantasies as well. so it's smth always there but that moffat rlly made literal also i've really liked your posts on asexuality on dw and idk if you've written this but just in case, i think it's also relevant to the very specific way some het guys are so protective of the doc's asexuality/aromancy(+the show's): "asexuality" as it functions in dw is celebrated by those guys ( i suspect) bc it gives the fantasy power over the "womanly wiles" - it's a proof of how the doc is so "enlightened" and "above" the temptress or seduction trope. (cont) (csdkjf sorry for going ott on replies rip) and it's also why i think in moffat's who the doc's sexuality is kind of tied to the idea of it like... """humbling"" or ""humanizing"" the character (as problematic as those ideas are,,, i think there's a basis to deduct that they come from before in canon)

OKAY SOOOO HI!

I just watched The God Complex right after The Girl Woman Who Waited so I'm riding that high of Consequences! Emotional Follow-through! Mmmm good plots!

I have not actually seen 7 yet outside of cute clips with Ace and ofc when he died due to the American healthcare system + gang warfare if I'm remembering correctly? and became our beautiful bouncing boy Eight, so iiiinteresting that this is a Thing, I didn't know that 👀👀👀👀👀

again, God Complex + Girl Who Waited feel like the most this era has explored Eleven's kinda... vibes around in terms of being some big Machinator who ruins peoples lives by dragging them into his shit, because he cannot Not: "I stole your childhood and now I’ve led you by your hand to your death. But the worst thing is I knew. I knew this would happen, this is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you. You’re glorious, Pond, the girl who waited for me. I’m not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it’s time we saw each other as we really are." Mmmm good stuff

we'll see how the next episodes do/season 7, but I've heard good things about Town Called Mercy which is an episode that I was not taking in at allll last time, because I was kind of... annoyed... by then.... and not really taking in good stuff (unlike this time)

ASEXUALITY ON DW IS LIKE! LOOK I'M WRITING OUT A SCRIPT FOR A YOUTUBE VIDEO BECAUSE IT'S SO FASCINATING RIGHT??? BOTH IN TERMS OF HOW THE CHARACTER EMBODIES AN AROACE IDENTITY AS ALIEN AND AS OTHERED WITHIN THEIR OWN SOCIETY AND AS A PERSON WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE THESE THINGS --- AND IN HOW FANDOM THINKS ABOUT THE WORD "ASEXUALITY"

(will I ever actually put together a youtube video, who knows, but I could, I edit professionally for parts of my job, and I have the Receipts!) (but the energy of it all youknow)

I am so pleased you spelled out the "womanly wiles" trope, because yes, I hadn't quite seen that, but had been circling around like... the Enlightened Asexual (or the Celibate Monk as I believe M*ffat once called it with reference to Sherlock) (and then someone like Irene Adler is the epitome of that Temptress in his version of the story...)

and what you're saying about "humbling" and "humanising" is so fascinating, because ofc to a bunch of us aces and aros and aroaces the part where the Doctor struggles to form normative relationships is one of the the most humanising factors, and ofc M*ffat especially likes the "Godlike" Doctor quite a bit but it comes back to these ideas of allosexuality and alloromanticism

but then also rejects a lot of those ideas, from memory, for being too simplistic after all, because people struggle to write the Doctor as simply alloromantic and allosexual (I've heard because the Doctor is alien, because the Doctor is more compelling when lonely, because the narrative couldn't sustain it, etcetcetc, but in the end it all comes back to "the Doctor as Character cannot get into these relationships for... reasons...." and that becomes compelling character)

(also Gomez!Master is like "we're so beyond this, we're the best thing ever, we're nemeses, we're besties, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my silly rabbit," etcetcetc... paraphrased. but that's in M*ffat era)

(the more the show flirts with allosexuality and alloromanticism the more nuanced the Doctor becomes to me as an aroace character! because no longer is it an Enlightened Mightier Than Thou Cannot Be Touched Celibacy type Concept, it's someone who's being affected by deep relationships and very often unable to equate them using simple terms!!!! arghhh it's sooooo!!!! SOOOOOO!!!!!!!)

[lingtranslates]

Passenger costume voice lines

Assign secretary: Elliot: What did you find in Time, mysterious owner of the black market? Passenger: The past, Elliot. I am always looking for the past. Maybe I can find belonging from the rules of the cacti and sands. The answer of fate that you and I do not know. Convo 1: P: I hated everything there. Even though following that gold coin meant compromising fate, I had to leave Sargon. E: But I am still here, Sand Soldier. You can't get away from everything that is yours. The word fate has been fixed between you and me.

Convo 2: P: Sargon will leave scars on your body. In the eyes of your employer, you are as weak as a poor feathered beast. I have forgotten the feeling of being whipped. Do you hate them? E: No. I know how they ended up, from your eyes. Fortunately, you don't seem to regret it.

Convo 3: E: Your expression didn't give me answers. Didn't you put all of that into flames? P: There is a square in the black market where you can gaze at the sky. Do you remember what the night reminds you of? I claimed that it was a cremation, but when the conspiracy succeeded and the flames spread, I didn't think of the face of my esteemed teacher.

E1 Convo: P: "The Gift of Thorne". Do you remember its first part? E: Bury the morals into the yellow sand, to deceive a guard who happened to lose his son, and obtain that inferior Arts unit? And..."The Gift of Thorne"? What will Teacher give to the conspirators, Passenger?

E2 Convo: E: Tell me, has Oripathy changed our lives? Do you feel pain? What will disease turn me into? Has the conspirators miscalculated? P: You're trembling, poor Elliot. Forget about those motives. Right now, I'm just sighing at its beauty in front of the mirror.

High Trust 1: P: Spring has the most business, summer is embellished with festivals. Autumn is a good time for leaving Ibut to seek profit. Finally, winter is the season of war. These are the seasons of Sargon, the four seasons you will loathe. E: But, the stars can be seen clearly on summer nights in Ibut.

High Trust 2: Elliot: The imagined dream is really amazing. How should I get along with you, future Doctor? If I had met you earlier- Passenger: No. Doctor does not exist in any point between you and me. They belong to my time. Let them go ahead, I have high hopes for them.

High Trust 3: Elliot: A Vouivre, and that "Doctor". Are you asking for their mercy? Passenger: No. I just want to be my prophet, or become someone else's prophet. The prolonged nothingness is far more torturous than illness... Elliot, listen to me, I'm a little tired.

Idle: ... Sleep, my Elliot. After sleeping, we will have the same dream. Dreaming that you became me, and that I was still you.

Operator Reporting In: Passenger: Have I flipped open the fate of days past? Elliot: No, this is just a dream. A dream that you avoided. My future.

Watching Combat Records: Elliot: I see some conspiracies from time to time... Passenger: Yes, Elliot. And those fights, and those materialistic desires. They are everywhere.

E1: Passenger: Oripathy leaves me with not much of a future. I wish that Rhodes Island can quickly take advantage of my value. Elliot: Wrong. Nobody on Rhodes Island can satisfy your self-destructive tendencies. It is not that they are too kind, but you are too harsh. This is Elliot Glover's judgment.

E2: Elliot: Will you see Sargon's winter when you wake up? Will you sleep in eternal summer? Must I become you? Passenger: Prophecy is just a disguise of fate. Sleep peacefully, Elliot. You shape me, and I make you. Until the moment not mentioned in prophecy arrives.

Assign to Team: Elliot: Why do you not pick more companions? This is inefficient. Passenger: You will understand. Many things will make you understand it.

Assign to Team Leader: Elliot will surely ask me: How does an empty soul truly lead others?

Operation Sortie: I still remember the feeling on my back when carrying my heavily injured teacher. That is the feeling of war. War can be profitable.

Operation Start: Once, all my battles were for one purpose. If you lose your purpose, then hand the struggle back to the past.

Select Operator 1: The right to execute.

Select Operator 2: Do you still remember the feeling of flowing sand?

Deploy 1: My battle weapons will do as you wish.

Deploy 2: And "people" are the final weapons.

In Combat 1: I still remember how these devices were born.

In Combat 2: What can you gain by fighting in the name of your esteemed mentor?

In Combat 3: Emotions do not bring victory.

In Combat 4: Revenge has ended.

4* operation: Elliot: There is no snow in the winter of the black market. Can I still see snow? Passenger: You will. It's just that in that silvery white world, there is no longer anything you are familiar with.

3* operation: Elliot: Your tricks will catch up with everyone. Is that how you became the owner of the black market? Passenger: Yes, you will too, Elliot. I am very certain. You won't let anyone go.

2* operation: Passenger: Did you see the way the punished ones ran away? Elliot: I see. I wonder if those Columbians look at me that way too?

Failed operation: Passenger: The moments we were allowed to make mistakes have bygone. We are fighting an overly powerful enemy. Elliot: Fate? No, it's ourselves.

Assign to Station: Elliot: Does Rhodes Island give you peace of mind? Passenger: This is the effect of caffeine.

Poke: Don't wake him up, okay?

Poke with Trust Bubble: Passenger: Treasure your memories. Treasure the moments when you were still filled with emotions. Elliot: I understand. At least I can still understand.

Greeting: I dreamed of a future. In the changing four seasons, everything returns to nothingness. There are neither nightmares nor sweet dreams, only... darkness. That is indeed the answer of fate, Elliot. That darkness doesn't represent anything, only... nothingness itself.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Can you write Malcom beginning to realise that oh shit, things are not going great and maybe putting the fate of the island in doctor spriggan's twig hands was maybe a mistake but also he is in too deep now, and he could not stop worshipping the creature (in various ways) even if he wanted to?

Sure! :D Time to break Malcolm's mind!

Warning: Spriggan's typical manipulation in this au

On with the fic!

--

He should have noticed this before, should have noticed this ages ago. He had a feeling he had known all along, but had constantly turned a blind eye to it, wanting to ignore the dark reality that was his life.

Malcolm stared at his book, the one he had written, the one using the words and wisdom of Him. His hands shook as he picked it up, touching the worn, leather cover with a finger. How many lies were written in these pages, how many horrible commands had he read with now consideration of what they would eventually lead to.

Children were marked, 'blessed' as He put it, on the day they were born. In years time, they would be taken from their homes. Not all, but some, some would be taken to the woods by strange trees, and they would never be seen again.

Malcolm knew what was going on, he had seen one of the children, hidden away in the growths of His home. The poor child had looked like they were sleeping soundly.

They had not been.

It was a mercy that He left them in that state, instead of awake and aware.

Malcolm put the book down and bowed his head, clasping his hands together in prayer. To who, he did not know. He lost faith in God when he was young, when he realized that the world was a terrible, cruel place, run by tyrants. Then he found his Lord, who took him in, his brothers, his people, and gave them so much, but...

But in exchange, He had taken more.

"What should I do?" Malcolm asked no one, just the silence in the room. "Am I just as responsible for those children? Does the blood that coats His hands cover my own?"

"I wouldn't put it so graphically, but... in sense, possibly, if you wish to feel that way."

Malcolm tensed up, he hadn't noticed, hadn't heard the warping of the door, the heavy steps of feet covered in dirt and moss, the creaking of skin coated in bark. He didn't turn around, but he knew the Spriggan was right behind him.

"You're avoiding me." The Spriggan spoke, his voice calm, but Malcolm knew better.

He was disappointed.

"I am." Malcolm admits. "And I'm sure you know exactly why."

"You weren't supposed to see, but..." The tone was casual, and that made Malcolm grit his teeth. "It was eventually going to happen, I'm sure. I wasn't exactly hiding my intentions."

Malcolm stood from his seat and turned, facing the being that had been keeping his community alive for over twenty years. "What are they exactly? Because the blood I could understand, you made it clear it helps you, though I cannot deny that I've seen you eat the food offerings some of your worshipers leave for you."

The Spriggan looked at him. "I never denied that I could eat food, it is fuel. Blood is also of importance to me, it has relations to my domain of life, it gives me... strength." He smiled, His cheeks creaked.

He moved to circle Malcolm as He spoke. "Though that is not the issue at hand, is it? No... no, it's the children."

"Of course it's the children!" Malcolm shouted, forgetting his place, but it was too late, he was furious. He felt betrayed by his god, by...

His lover.

The Spriggan stopped, and His stare made Malcolm nearly back down. "You may have noticed that the land is... having trouble. Of course you have, your people have been asking about the dead newborn livestock."

"Yes... what is that about?"

"You need to understand that like you, I am not native here. And my home has adapted to the land after we crashed here. However, we lost fuel, we've lost so much that has seeped into the land. It's hard to gather it all while also providing for the life here, especially your people."

"But... but why take them?"

The Spriggan sighed, running hand through His hair. "How do I explain... look, what powers my ship has seeped into the ground, and becomes absorbed by new growth and life. And that..."

"Includes the children..." It dawned on Malcolm and he felt cold. "But why take it back!?"

Suddenly, Malcolm was shoved back against the table, the creature staring down at him with eyes so ancient, so earthen in color. It was like looking at the world.

"Because I need that energy to provide for you." He said, His voice serious and cold. "You asked for me to give your people what they need, and it order to do that, I need the energy, I need to be able to keep up with so many demands."

Malcolm swallowed, feeling the solid body pressed against him, pinning him to the table. "... Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this." He hissed, then paused, sighing softly as He brought a hand up, brushing it against Malcolm's face. "I don't find enjoyment in it, but it is necessary. I spare some, blood sacrifices do help, but... the whole body is best. Your people are so needy, they are coming to rely too much on me."

"I... should I speak with them? Discuss that you are not pleased with their greed, my Lord?"

The Spriggan pulled back and rubbed at one of His eyes. "Oh, I suppose that could helpful. They are people of the land, they should know how to do things without always needing me to grow crops. In exchange... the sacrifices will slow down, will be less... needed."

That wasn't Him saying they'd stop, but... but it was something, right?

"I don't know if I can trust you to do that." Malcolm said softly. "I don't know what to believe."

"Trust me." The being said. "You know that it is the right thing to do. You are not able to take care of them all without me, but we must compromise to keep this place alive. Don't you want that? Safety and protective, food and shelter for your people?"

Malcolm looked at him, and... he nodded. Because he couldn't argue. The Spriggan knew what to do to protect this place, to keep it safe and protected from outsiders.

"... what can I do to help?" He asked and the Spriggan smiled.

"I'll find something for you to do that will help me greatly. Let me look more into our current situation, and I shall let you know." His smile was so sweet, but it made Malcolm's insides turn.

He felt cold lips against his own and he couldn't fight, what was the point.

The Spriggan always got what He wanted in the end, didn't he?

Even if Malcolm didn't always want Him to.

--

He's not going to stop taking children, the Spriggan knows what he's doing, he's toying with his favorite human.

The events of Apostle probably follow shortly after this, but with obvious changes.

It is so delightful to write evil Ten but he is also a pain in the ass at the same time, took forever to figure out how to write him in this.

[chloeworships]

Idk if someone tried to come for Snoop and the Doctor but BAY-BEEEEE they is NOT getting away.

They could be coming back again FYI

As I was typing this I heard

“Attempted murder”

👀

Oh yes, it’s that serious for someone. One of yallssss is a hairdresser or barber 💈 Maybe HAIR means something to you.

I also heard

“JUSTICE”

As my Ma would say “the wheels of justice turn slowly” and I say God is the most patient gangster ever…. The Don of all Dons.

Pls note this doesn’t have to be gang affiliated as previously mentioned.

YOU ALL KNOW WHO CAME FOR YOU.

And this person is UNREPENTANT. They are not (yet) sorry for what they did. No sir Bob.

Stay safe babes

PS. This has something to do with best friends… I keep hearing that term. Maybe someone hurt you or your bestie ☹️🥺 or maybe two people GANGED UP on your bestie. Whatever the case, my loves, God is going to show you how much he loves you by what he’s about to do to those who harm you.

This could have something to do with those of you who are a couple. I was a woman in the dream and Snoop was obviously Snoop 😂…. A man.

Someone for sure is going to prison.

The LORD said to me

“This is a reminder” 📆

So I know you’ve been waiting a longgggg time. I feel your RAGE and FRUSTRATION lawd ha mercy.

The higher someone reaches, the harder they fall babes. God humiliates the proud.

This could also involve some kind of sexual assault.

For some, you could have been falsely accused. The person who lied about you will not get away with that either.

Love ya 💕

PPS. I want you babes to know that the LORD was saying to pay attention‼️

Here is the T-shirt…

This person attempted to kill you or ya bae and God did not forget.

UPDATE:

I needed to share this song 🎶 Ghetto Story🎶 — LYRICS — this song is confirmation for whoever this message is for.

Also there is something about a signature

Shoutout to the ones who made it out of the hood. Big love to you 💕

We don’t choose the families or circumstances we are born into. The LORD is always with the poor and he’s proud of you who have not forgotten your humble beginnings and have turned back to help your community. This is why we must always remember the less fortunate and do what we can to help them.

May God continue to bless you EXCEPTIONALLY

Much love to Baby Cham as well 🥰🇯🇲

Alicia Keys 🔑 is on the remix so this is for some Americans too.

It was never luck 🍀 it was always God preserving your life.

Dance with me 💃🏾🕺🏾🪩🤣🎶

[cutieeva]

Honestly Enzo should have more lesson about treating a girl cause wdym bro really think traumatize her would make her love him, who tf gave him those advices?💀🙏. And also wouldn't his parents be suspicious of reader when Enzo introduce her to his parents knowing what he did, or his friends saw her with him??? Thank you for your story ❤️

Yes I do agree he should have suffered more but the thing is (Y/N) didn't actually wanted to take revenge to make him suffer (I mean she did) but the real motive came from watching how after Enzo had his memory wiped, he laughed, made friends, stayed happy without any sadness in his life like it brew irritation and envy and hatred inside (Y/N) that how the ruiner of her life is so free, happy when she is forever in the trap of her nightmare past so she decided to not only to make him suffer but also to take his every little thing he loves even his own life which she did in the end and the real reason she played that happy marriage move for so many years was because the more you love a person the more it hurts to think that you were a monster to them (it's actually more about mental torture than physical like if she conflict him pain his scars might heal but this time she graved herself so deep in his bones that he will never forget but if he ever did that's why she took his life before he can forget her again with not even sparing the mercy to say "I did love you one time of my life" You know when a person feel mix of several negative emotions like guilt and disgust, hatred and so on for himself it's a recipe for disaster. She just wanted him to go though all the stages of emotions she had to all these years expect the love part (she never loved him)

Nah ! No one gave bro bad advice, it just hurt his ego to be rejected for the first time in his life, like his mindset is pretty much similar to "She rejected me ?" Similiar to a narcissist actually but after his memory was wiped off doctors help him developed positive traits after knowing from his parents about his past.

Actually as it was stated in the story Enzo came to visit him with flower of bouquet, his family only know that he bullied a girl to the point of hospitalized and they simply wanted to bury the secret to save their son as soon as possible that they didn't care to check or even see the victim so when they met her, they were totally unaware who this girl is. (Also killing their son is punishment for the parents too (Y/N) thought after seeing their loving relationship) It's a double edge sword move !

The friends, well, his high school friends were cut ties from him after he lost his memory and the new friends he made in university was also unaware the past between (Y/N) and Enzo so they never suspect anything.

Also your love for my stories means a lot 💕💕

[nataywrites]

Before you read this, know that this rambling is a serious one. You may feel uncomfortable. If you don't have the spoons to read it all, don't fear. I would never hold that against you, my dear friend. Sometimes we have the energy to carry our friends, and other times we can barely carry ourselves. One is not a bad friend for not being able to shoulder a burden one can't bear. Never forget that.

Hello there! I hope your day is well, and that you maybe got a little rain wherever you are. Right now I'm wishing for rain. It's so dry despite the humidity and the river is looking anemic in the water department. I'm worried about the fish and other water creatures. When I think of past rainfalls, I remember the ones that happened while I was in high school. The river was so swollen that it climbed over its banks and into our basements. I could walk on a sidewalk, one hundred feet from the river bank, and still be knee-deep in water, with fish nibbling at my sandalled feet.

Not only do I wish for physical rain, but I am also wishing for the emotional kind too. I'm the kind of person that doesn't know she's feeling something until it's too late. The anxiety, stress, and grief sit inside me until an entirely unrelated issue draws them out as irritability, anger, and words I wish I could take back. Everything seems to be accelerating faster than I can react to it. Sort of like the time I got two of my wisdom teeth removed, and the doctor plunged the needle full of anesthetic into the soft flesh of my mouth faster than I could react. All I could do was grip the armrests of my seat with white-knuckled fear.

I found out two months ago that I have a cancer predisposition, then two weeks ago I had a rectal exam, and the polyps...my God they were everywhere. I thank my lucky stars that I don't have any tumors in there. Now I found out I need a biopsy of a nodule on my thyroid. Before I even have my colonoscopy to detect one kind of cancer, I need to have another procedure, no matter how small, to see if I have another kind. Next week I will be going in for an endoscopy and colonoscopy. Another IV in my arm, but at least this time I will have the mercy of sedation. I won't be aware of the doctor and their nurses putting their long-necked eyeballs into the most intimate reaches of my person.

I know what some of you may be thinking. "At least you know," "You don't know yet if you have cancer." And yes, I know. Yes, I don't know if I have cancer. Yet. Isn't that a terrifying word? Yet. It doesn't matter what I know in my mind. There is a significant difference between knowing something and feeling something.

Right now, the smallest, most vulnerable part of me is terrified. She is crouched in the fetal position somewhere in the pit of my bowls, nestled next to the polyp-riddled large intestine that will end me one day if I don't do anything about it. I'm afraid, and I can't feel it except when I am close to an emotional extreme. Some days I don't know where my head is, or if I want to cry, or rage, or laugh in incredulity. I am lost. I need someone to hold my hand and not tell me to look at the bright side. The power of positive thinking is powerful until it isn't and then all I see is the giant hole that it tries to conceal. I can't fill that hole with anything. It simply must exist. Like the empty space that is left by a passed loved one, there is an empty place where the me I used to be was. The one that had only depression and anxiety as her biggest health woes. The one who never had to worry about severe illness and despair. I need to mourn her before I can move on.

This did get deep, but I needed to put this out there for you, my dearest, most treasured reader, to read. I need you to see me for how I feel and who I am. You don't need to assure me that all will be well, because whatever will be, will be. Just hold my hand and pray for rain. Pray for rain with me, to a God, Goddess, Goddex, personification of humanity, or Spaghetti monster that you may or may not believe in. It doesn't matter. Prayer may be directed at the divine, but secretly, we all know that it is truly directed at our deepest, innermost selves. I love you, friend.

[toasteri]

Not God's Puppet

Photo by Evan Fitzer on Unsplash

Gospel: Mark 3:31-35 Memorial of Saint Francis de Sales, Bishop and Doctor of the Church | USCCB

In this same chapter from the Gospel of St. Mark beginning on Verse 20, we hear that because of all the wonderful healings that Jesus has been doing, the crowds of people following Him are getting larger and larger and following Him everywhere. Verse 20 says that “He came home, and such a large crowd gathered (presumably they came into the house Jesus was staying in) that they made it impossible for Jesus and his disciples even to eat.” When Jesus’ relatives heard this, they said “He is out of His mind” so “they set out to seize Him”.

Then followed the brief confrontation with the scribes during which Jesus spoke about an everlasting sin. Having put the scribes in their place, Jesus then seems to more or less ignore his mother and relatives – or does He? Jesus did not leave what He was doing, which was, teaching his disciples and ministering to the crowd which St. Mark tells us had followed Him to the house where He was staying in order to go and see His mother Mary and those referred to as His brothers and sisters, which were most likely other close relatives as we’ve come to understand from other past explanations because Jesus did not have siblings.

Instead, Jesus sent a message declaring He now had a new family, the family of His disciples and those who listened to His word, lived that word and therefore did God’s will.

It must have been very difficult for His family, especially for Mary to hear that message. Jesus was not going to be managed or to be controlled. Jesus’ family had to learn to let Him go to fulfill God’s will for His life. It is a lesson for us to learn in relation to others, especially those we love.

We feel we know what is best for them and we want them to respond to what we think they should do in the way that they should do it. Often, we forget that God, that Jesus does not treat us that way because He respects our intelligence and our freedom to choose and to act.

Remember when Jesus came upon the blind man, Jesus asked the blind man a question. But—it was not that Jesus did not already know exactly the answer to His own question. Jesus knows the question and the answer before it is even asked and before we even think an answer to any imaginable question. But HE wants us to be ready, to come to the point of realizing that we need His healing, His forgiveness, that the time has come to receive the glory of His mercy, the glory of His power. Mark 10:50-52 tells us “Throwing off his cloak, Bartimaeus jumped up and came to Jesus. “What do you want Me to do for you?” Jesus asked. “Master,” said the blind man, “ Master, I want to see.” “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the way.…”. Yes, Jesus knows what we need. And HE wants us to be the ones to see that we need it. Otherwise, we would be no more than puppets. But we are not God's puppets, we are free to decide. That is what it means to have free will.

If we were not free to decide when to feel sorry for our sins for example, we would be no more than miserable puppets. How awful and inappropriate would it be for example to be at one of the celebrations with which we mark our human existence like a birthday, a wedding, a Baptism and for God to suddenly decide that you need to right then and there feel deep sorrow and regret for your sins and at such a joyous moment, for God to decide that you need to feel deep misery. NO, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven…a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…a time to seek, and a time to lose…a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Eclesiastes 3:1-8) and Jesus waits for us to be ready to come Him, He trusts that we will make the right choice.

That is the learning we have to come to terms with when it comes to our loved ones, to acknowledge our powerlessness over them and let them go to make their own mistakes. This can be painful because we don’t want them to suffer, especially for parents.

The Virgin Mary, I’m sure would not have hesitated to carry the Cross for Jesus as she did not hesitate to carry Him in her womb, but it was not God’s will for Mary to carry the Cross. God’s will was for Mary to carry Him in her womb and be the Mother of God and later it was Jesus’ will for her to become our mother.

God’s will was for Jesus to carry the sin of Adam and Eve, the sin of pride, arrogance, disobedience, opening the gates of heaven for us and with His ascension carrying us, the human race into heaven, but in the process, He had to die for our sake so that all this might be accomplished. This was God's will and purpose for Him.

What is your purpose. Your purpose is to carry your cross, however heavy or however light. But you will never be alone. Believe in Him. He promised, "I will be with you always, even to the end of time." (Mt. 28:20)

[mileapokp1677]

Three Steps to Win You (CH 31)

Title: Three Steps to Win You

Rating: M

Pairing: Daddy Chan/Tankhun, Kinn/Porsche, Vegas/Pete

Category: M/M, AU Nerd Jock

Summary: Accidentally, scientist Tankhun Theerapanyakul embarrassed footballer Captain Chan "Daddy" Knight in front of his coach, teammates and fans. He had to fulfill three tasks from the Captain before his apology was accepted.

Chapter 31

(Chan POV)

Saturday Noon -  BSFC Training Ground Parking Lot

Tankhun showed him alright.  

That kiss was one hundred percent, an all-out kiss. Apparently, when one Tankhun Theerapanyakul wanted to show you something, he truly showed it without a trace of doubt. 

Chan was blown away. 

The tip of Tankhun's tongue that traced the curve of his lips slowly seek permission to get in. Chan, whose shock finally subsided, not only permitted him but also played along. Their tongues entangled in this slow dance that was so... -- lord have mercy -- so sweet.

His hands, which had been on the scientist's slender waist a moment ago, now gripped  Tankhun's face, positioning him to deepen the kiss. It felt so damn good, Chan refused to be the one who broke the kiss, oxygen be damned. 

When Tankhun, after quite a while -- Chan was already panting at that time, damn he's old T.T -- finally broke the kiss, the sassy doctor lifted his head to look at Chan and told him haughtily, "Now, that's a kiss, Caramello, capito?"

Chan was still powerless to answer so he just held up three fingers in an "OK" sign.

"Good, I'm out of here then. Don't forget to email me your schedule,” said Tankhun as he gently released Chan's hold on him -- from his cheeks this time, but Chan, once again, caught hold of Tankhun's right hand and pulled him closer. There was absolutely no resistance from Tankhun, and that gorgeous man was back in his arms again. Bliss… 

"Are you not going to give me a chance to prove that I'm a fast learner, Doctor?" whispered Chan. 

Their faces were so close to each other, they actually shared a breath. 

"O~h? Show me, then," the doctor whispered back.

Chan showed him.

******

(Tankhun POV)

The Captain of BSFC was proven to be a fast learner, or maybe, he really was a good kisser. Whatever it was, Tankhun didn't really care, because at that moment, what filled his mind was the way Chan's lips crushed against his, driving him insane. In no time, Tankhun wrapped his arms around the captain's neck and kissed him back passionately. It got so intense, it actually worried Tankhun. 

Oh, God…

They needed to stop now or things would get out of hand, and then both of them could really be arrested for public indecency. They were out in the open, and his youngest brother was waiting for him in the car!!!

"Chan... Chan... we need to stop," whispered Tankhun, albeit reluctantly. “Kim’s waiting for me.”

A muffled protest was heard from the Captain but Chan's lips let go of Tankhun's. However, not completely. He continued to give Tankhun small kisses on his lips, over and over and over… as if he didn't want to let go. And Tankhun was not strong enough not to return those kisses. 

"Please come to tomorrow's match, I'll arrange everything," Chan pleaded *kiss* "Take Kim, your Pa…” *kiss* “Kinn and Porsche, if they want.” *kiss* “David will look after you, exactly like last time you came" *kiss*

"I-I'll let you know.” 

“Say yes, baby.” *kiss* “Please…” *kiss* “ Please… ” *kiss* 

Chan was not exactly playing fair, and Tankhun couldn’t even think straight, which he definitely was not. He folded. 

“Fine. Okay. YES, I’ll come to the game,” replied Tankhun in the end, and only then, the Captain finally released Tankhun’s body from his arms. 

“See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, baby.” 

This time, it was Tankhun who grabbed Chan’s face in his hands and kissed the hell out of him. When Tankhun finished with him, the great Captain of BSFC could only look at him dazedly. A satisfied smile appeared on Tankhun's face.

And so what if afterward, Tankhun walked to Kim’s car with extra sway on his hips? As he promised himself at that time, Tankhun would never let Chan take his eyes off of him, or rid him easily of his mind. 

Huh! Not a chance. 

******

Is Doctor T Really 'The One'?

Hello, darlings! It looks like the relationship between the BSCF Captain, Chan "Daddy" Knight (36), and Dr. Tankhun Theerapanyakun (30) is getting hotter. And judging from the facts that our editorial team managed to collect, it is undeniable that the relationship between the two is serious, and not just a fling, as has been suggested so far.

The relationship between Daddy Chan and Doctor T -- this is what the BSFC players reportedly call him -- was initially not picked up by the press. It was only after Doctor T made a sudden appearance at the BOC Stadium, wearing the captain’s anthem jacket, that people started to notice. Let’s not forget about the kiss that the doctor blows to the captain, in front of thousands of fans inside the stadium. On top of that, it is said that the scientist was not alone when he came to watch that particular match, but accompanied by his younger brother and FATHER! If those facts don't scream serious, this writer doesn't know what else to think.

Last Sunday’s match was the second time Doctor T watched the BSFC match live at the BOC Stadium. Just like in the first match, he was also accompanied by his father and his youngest brother. That time, he even brought his younger brother and his partner to the match. Well, well, well… 

So, in my humble opinion, this writer is definitely not making a bad judgment with her assumption earlier, that Daddy Chan and Doctor T are deadly serious. Moreover, if we consider their relationship, that seems to already have the blessing of the whole family and also the entire BSFC team, including the head coach. Weren't the paparazzi photos and videos of their sizzling hot kiss that was released at midnight last week and created such a roar, proven to be taken at the BSFC Training Ground? Reportedly, Coach Don, very rarely lets outsiders see his team train. How about that? 

But, we haven't got to the juiciest news yet, darlings... Our editorial team just received news that two days ago, Daddy Chan and Doctor T, were caught shopping together. Not for clothes, or shoes, or anything that has to do with fashion, something that -- as we can see from the photos of Doctor T taken by the paps -- the doctor is very interested in. Nope! Nothing like that. The two of them were caught shopping together for cooking utensils and... BONE CHINA!!! The writer was frankly aghast, for it was truly SUPER domestic. Fans who caught them commented that one of them was trying so hard to glance at the doctor's ring finger. Those fans must have the same thought as the writer. Has their relationship gone up beyond everyone's expectations!? The writer must say the possibility is pretty high. KYA~~~ 

Does this mean Doctor T is really "The One"? Let’s just wait and see. Ciao, my darlings! 

(VN)

*****

(Chan POV) 

Wednesday Night -- The Knight Residence

Chan read the article in the Thai Daily gossip column, which Tay forwarded to the BSFC Group Chat this morning, at least three times. The boys teased him all morning about it, during training at the stadium mercilessly, until he stopped the boys by threatening them to do 100 push-ups. Frankly speaking, Chan got mixed feelings from the article. The answer to the question in the article was YES, but the writer of the column and fans that caught them shopping that day were thinking way ahead of the real situation. It kinda stung. 

Truthfully, Chan was aware that the best way to overcome this was to confess his feelings to Tankhun and be done with it. But this little doubt that lived in his heart refused to go no matter how hard he tried to crush it. Sometimes Chan got mad at himself, since when did he become such a coward!?

Since my heart was shattered because of disappointment and betrayal from people I didn't expect.

One sentence from the article kept bothering Chan's mind and seemed to inflame the small doubt that was embedded there. They used the presence of the paparazzi who were at the Training Ground last week, capturing their private moments, as a fact that supported their assumptions about his relationship with Tankhun, while Chan considered this as one of the factors that made him unable to be one hundred percent sure of the scientist.

Chan realized his presumption that one of the reasons why Tankhun kissed him all out like that was simply because he knew paparazzi were lurking around was madness. But, by God, he couldn't get those doubts out of his heart and mind. It was like a sickness. 

Since that was the case, Chan decided to wait until there was no longer any doubt in his heart before he confess his feelings. 

Coward! 

******

(Tankhun POV)

Wednesday Night -- The Theerapanyakun Residence

“Hello~ is this “the One”?” asked Porsche annoyingly as he chuckled, teasing Tankhun. 

“Shut up, you little shit,” yelled Tankhun affectionately, with no heat whatsoever. “I take it you already read the article in the Thai Daily?” 

“Yup, just now,” replied Porsche. “Kinn is reading the article at the moment. His eyes go wide now and then, but trust me, not as wide as when he sees those paparazzi pictures and videos of you and P’Chan in the parking lot. Whoa, P', even I blushed.”

In an instant, Tankhun's cheeks get flushed. Luckily, this was not a video call, so Porsche couldn't see how red his face was right now. 

“Porsche, you’re not going to put this call on speaker, right?”

“No. What's the matter, P’?” whispered Porsche. “You need to say something privately to me?” 

“No, no, it's just that I can't believe I forgot all about the paparazzi at that time. That moment was very personal and important to me, as I consider it to be the first real kiss between us. With no ulterior motives or shadows of a fake date hanging upon our heads. But then I saw it become the public consumption it is today. It kinda sucks, to be honest."

“P’...”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Can I ask you something… it’s very personal though.” 

“Go on..”

“Are you completely sure about your feelings for P’Chan now?” 

“Yeah, there's no point in denying it anymore. I really like him, and I'm pretty sure I'm halfway in love with him already.”

“Not to get ahead of myself here, but ever consider confessing your feelings?”

“I am confessing now… OH, you mean to Chan? Are you mad?” 

“I always thought honesty is the best approach. After all, playing the games is tiring, P'."

“Yeah, but why me? Why don’t you tell your P’Chan to confess, IF he truly had feelings for me.” 

“Do you still doubt his feelings toward you?” 

“He never tells me, how should I know? Did he tell you?”

“Nope. Believe it or not, P’, but it’s been a while since the last time P’Chan talked to me about you. Maybe he considers our relationship too close.”

“Possibly.” 

“So, what’s the plan?”

“The plan is to dazzle him until he can't resist my charm and down on his knees.”

“Savage,” teased Porsche. “Bottom line, you’ll wait for him to confess first.” 

“No~," denied Tankhun. "But I need to be sure, Porsche. It doesn't have to be 100% but the percentage of the possibility right now is still too small for me.”

“Okay, P’, if you say so. I trust your judgment.” 

“Thanks, sweetie. Good night.”

“G’nite, P’.” 

TBC

[irkenheretic]

Resident Minor, How do you Plead

"Do not forget." The booming voice pierced Red in his core and reverberated through his skull. "It is a mercy that we are conducting this in private." 

If Red were to be honest with himself, he almost preferred a crowd. The rows and rows of empty stands seemed to glower down at him with a ferocity only found in Red's own mind, a ferocity so vile and hate-filled that it was too much for any living creature to outwardly display.

But— it was just him and the Control Brains; larger than Red could've ever imagined them to be, their many eyes looking, looking right at Red, right into his bright red eyes, almost as bright as the Brains' illuminated ones. 

"I won't forget, Sirs." 

"Good. Now, the trial may begin." 

Red stood spear-still, looking straight at the Brains— they didn't scare him. If there was one thing he'd learned from the wannabe invader Zim, it was that anyone could believe anything, if only you said it enough times. 

"Irken Red," the left Brain spoke, "Do you know why you are here?"

"I shouldn't exist." Red said, plainly. And why should he get emotional? It was a simple fact of life. The sky is starry. Irk is mighty. Red shouldn't exist.

"Do not say it like that," the right Brain interjected. "You, as you are. I have no problem with you. The problem lies within you."

"My eyes." Red snipped back, as if he'd been talking to a fellow cadet who'd been a little too stare-y, or who had spat at him. 

"Yes," the Brains confirmed. "Your eyes." 

"What about my eyes? So they're red, so what?" 

"They are an imperfection."

Red puffed his chest out a little. "Well, Purple thinks they look nice." 

"The look of them is not the issue," the Left brain said. "It is what they imply."

"What do they imply?! What's wrong with me! Why aren't you telling me anything? What, do you expect me to just stand here and take it? How am I supposed to defend myself?" Red felt as if he were a smeet again; a tiny, insignificant thing on a far-off planet, galaxies away from the glowing lights of Irk, and directly under the bright lights of Medics upon Medics, feeling the prick of sharps on his skin and the prick of his Educator's claws digging into his sides as she picked him up and carted him off to the next doctor, treating him as little more than a small sac of blood to be punctuated and stolen from— his time, his life, his sanity. 

"Are you aware of the Irken smeet facilities?" 

"Yes. I— I am." 

Irk, and all its glorious residential outposts, had one. A fully-automated underground facility, making more and more little futures of the Empire; hundreds per second. With that kind of competition, you were lucky to make it to adulthood. 

"We work very hard to eradicate all genetic imperfections," the left Brain said, "for the future of the empire. However, there are some so rare that we have not been able to eradicate them." 

"Like yours," the right Brain clarified. 

"Mine? I— I'm not imperfect, I— I just have red eyes! It's just red eyes! Honest! N— nothing's wrong with me! I'm perfectly fine!"

"You stutter." 

"So what! So I stutter! I can shoot a gun just fine, a— and that's what I want to do! I want to be an Elite, so wh— why won't you just let me?!" 

"Even the slightest imperfections," the Left brain said, "are impermissible."

"Oh, yeah? Don't think I didn't notice, y— you said 'I' instead of 'we' that one time!" 

"That is different," the left Brain interjected, at what Red swore was a quicker tempo than it was supposed to. "We have gone through your PAK memories. As a smeet, you stuttered so horribly you could not talk at all."

"Y— yeah?" Red's entire form was shaking, his brain screaming at him to quit, quit while you're ahead, what are you doing, how could you possibly think this was a good idea? Nevertheless, Red would die— but he would not die without a fight. "Well, I learned to talk by w— watching Trial recordings. A— and you two do that, a lot. I— it's not just one time." 

The Control Brains, in their infinite wisdom, had gone silent. 

"I get it. Y— you think that just because my eyes are red and I stutter, th— that I'm defective, or something."

"You are insolent," the Left brain said. 

"A— and you're a hypocrite. You're gonna kill me anyway, f— for tainting your precious gene pool, so I'm gonna call you what you are. Hypocrites. D— defective hypocrites. No one's around to hear me, r— right?" 

Silence, once more. The Control Brains stared down at Red with infinite eyes, and even the stars themselves seemed to stare down at him, twinkling like the barrel of a gun pointed right in his face. 

[lxvebun]

*slides you a 20* Miss bun president of the soft!dabihawks simps, can we get a protective!dabi/hawks hcs ty you

Also can i be 🌟 anon

Protective! Dabi & Hawks x so

*eats the 20* yes you can

Also welcome dear 🌟anon

We love our protective boys

english is not my first language so im sorry for any mistakes<33

Cw: talk about hurting/killing people, curse words,mild insecurities ig, angsty thoughts but nothing in too much detail, dabi calls you doll, hawks calls you dove

Read my DNI before interacting

Dabi

Protectiveness scale 10/10

You are the love of his life, he can't let you get hurt

Mentally physically emotionally doesn't matter

Someone looks at you the wrong way? well the only reasonable solution is to claw their eyes out

Someone says anything rude? Ahaha may god have mercy on them cause Dabi wont

Ever come home slightly off

He will notice and he is ready to kill the reason for your sadness.

"Hey doll how wa- what the fuck happend ??who do i have to kill?? i need a name. Are you okay? are you hurt ? I swear when I find them I-"

" relax im okay noone hurt me just bad day with bad thoughts"

"Why didn't you call me I could have been home sooner :("

Didn't want to bother you, it's not like you can fight my thoughts XD

Challenge accepted

"Im making an appointment with the eye doctors for you" (it that what you call them idk lol)

What why ?"

"Cause for some reason you cannot see how incredibly beautiful and amazing you are. Idk doll maybe need a check up"

*laughs* omg stop jesus"

"Hey made you smile :D"

Will leave a shit ton of notes all around your house telling you how amazing you are.

Probably sticks them on you as well

Randomly texts you throughout the day when he's not with you

"Doll" send 3:45

"Hey dabi everything okay?" Send 3:57

"Hi, yes this is your daily reminder that you are incredibly talented and beautiful and im so fucking in love with you it's probably ruining my reputation of edgy asshole but idc. I will do anything for you to make sure you are safe. are you okay? Are you out or at home text 1 if you got the message text 2 if I have to yell at your brain to stop lying, text 3 if you want unsubscribe" send 4:03

Omg 3 lol" send 4:05

"That was a JOKE you cannot unsubscribe from my love. See you soon doll :)" send 4:05

If the thoughts are more about possible situations hell just shut them off

"Im just worried that some day you will not make it back home :(

"I will always come back to you doll, what you really think some fake ass heroes are going to stop me lmao?? You never have to worry about that okay? now get in my lap we are going to cuddle"

":,)"

Can't battle your thoughts my ass

He will try

And he will succeed

Will do anything he can to make sure you are safe happy and loved.

Hawks

Protectiveness scale 9/10

He knows you can protect yourself

Does not mean you have to

While patrolling he will check up on you

Sometimes he will just come into your house

Have one of his feathers scan the house real quick to locate you

Give you a kiss and fucks off again lol

Always double checks your door to make sure its locked

Same with the windows

But you open them up again because sometimes dumbass forgets they are closed and just crashes against it

You can make a pillow from all the feathers he leaves around

"Baby i already have one ?"

" i know but here *shoves a bunch in your hands* take these too just to be sure."

"Will have you on videocall when patrolling

You can enjoy the view

He can stop worrying about you for a sec.

Blows up your phone with hundreds of text messages and is not embarrased by it at all

Mans also expects you to message him back within 0.001 seconds

Will get extremely worried if you don't

So don't you dare take a nap without telling him

He will have an actual breakdown lol

If you're out he'll just fly along with you

"Dont you need to work?

"Wdym i am working gotta make sure my dov- i mean you as a civillian are alright :D"

Anyone is stupid enough to try something

He'll fly down and "accidentally" hit them with his wings multiple times

And then flies off with you in his arms

He will do anything he can to make sure you are happy and safe

For some reason i struggled a lot with hawks? So it may be actual shit but i tried also i really cant tell if this is good or not 😀

Read my DNI before interacting