#and YES i did have a totally unrelated dream last night that was like a psychological thriller movie

[winterandwords]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

Thanks to @k--havok for the tag!

Are you named after anyone? Nope. My parents just liked the name and my mum, who was a teacher, had a never taught a kid with it before so it didn't come with any preconceptions.

When was the last time you cried? A couple of nights ago. My dog freaked out because her foot went to sleep and she tried to get up and the noise she made fucking broke me. Terrible things happening to humans in my presence? Totally calm, stop the bleeding, whatever. An animals being mildly distressed over a extremely minor non-problem? TEARS.

Do you have kids? No. Never. Completely by choice. Team happily child-free here.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not as much as people think I do. Unless I'm in hardcore masking mode, I can come off as kind of cold and unemotional, so when I say genuinely supportive or appreciative things, people don't realise I'm being serious and assume I'm being an asshole.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their…vibe?? I don't know how to explain it. Their innate them-ness, the way it feels to be around them. I usually pick up pretty much immediately if someone is going to be very significant in my life. When I first met the person I've now been married to for twenty years it was like "Holy shit, you are going to matter so much" even though I didn't know how or why.

What’s your eye color? Blue, but not like all one colour. They're very pale around the pupil with a much darker ring around the outside.

Scary movies or happy endings? Yes. Violent revenge fantasies, please.

Any special talents? I'm hypermobile, so I can do all sorts of ill-advised party tricks with my stupid joints. Also I have a knack for picking up on people's fears and insecurities very quickly and easily via completely unrelated conversation and often hardly any conversation at all. I've never tried to do that. It just sort of happens. I'm not entirely comfortably with it tbh.

Where were you born? Ireland.

What are your hobbies? Writing, but that goes beyond being a hobby. Also learning French, reading, yoga, absorbing information about special interests (usually various aspects of religion and cultural mythology), baking, playing computer games, and BDSM.

Have you any pets? Yep! A black greyhound lurcher called Shadow. She's a rescue and we adopted her from her foster human last October. Before that she'd been raised in a racing kennel but couldn't race because she has a wonky foot, so she'd mostly been tied up in a concrete yard for all ten months of her little life. Also, Silver the cat. He's five, adopted in a "my cat had kittens and they need homes" situation, and he's had the most charmed life ever. It's a total coincidence that they're both named after characters from Sonic the Hedgehog.

What sports do you play/have played? I used to play hockey (field hockey, for those of you who live in places where ice hockey is the default) and did competitive gymnastics in high school. I played tennis and badminton casually, had a weight lifting gym bunny phase in my early twenties and went running late at night a lot for reasons of sanity. After that it was mostly mountain biking, because what's even the point if you can't hurl yourself down ridiculous hills on two wheels and hope all your body parts get to the bottom at the same time?

How tall are you? 5ft 2in

Favorite subject in school? I loved art, but hated art classes because I always had really shitty teachers who were very "I will only dedicate time and energy to people who make exactly the kind of art I personally like".

Dream job? I was a professional photographer (it's what I went to college for) and ran a studio before my body crapped out on me, so that was pretty cool and I'm glad I got to do it while I could. Writing isn't my job as such, but it's The Thing I Do now and I love it too.

Tagging some newer mutuals here. No pressure at all to take part! @felixwriting, @frankiesaysrelaxx, @superfangirl2789, @mawcegoblinwrites, @marthawrites, @danijameswriter and @make-them-scream. Fifteen people seems like a lot to tag, so I'm going to leave it at that and include an open tag, so if you'd like to take part feel free to @ me so I can see your answers.

[namcelestial]

why is there no polling feature built into tumblr

[words-etched-in-her-skin]

Part 2 of my ‘House Dimitrescu’ series on Ao3. I am currently working on Part 3 (Alcina body worship), and will post that here when I finish 😏

Every candle in Castle Dimitrescu was lit in preparation. Alcina’s large frame silhouetted against the low lighting of the room like the masterpiece that she was. The brim of her hat tipping slightly forward as she gave you a small nod. You look quite delicious tonight, my pet.. she had told you. Her words still swimming freshly through your mind - the look on her face as you stepped out into the hallway in your new outfit - and you swore, for just a moment, that you saw her sinful tongue skating it’s way deliciously across her bottom lip. Suns dissolving to slivers as her pupils dilated - devouring you where you stood.

“Tonight is a very important night for my daughter’s and I.” The smooth tones of Alcina’s voice ricocheted off the high ceilings of the castle as she moved elegantly throughout the room. “It has been such a long time since we’ve…”

Each word becoming more muffled as your thoughts began to wander. You knew you should’ve been listening - waiting for her queue - but all you could think about was the night ahead of you. The fresh memory of her shadow completely enveloping you - cornered in the hallway - warm breath skating across the top half of your body as she leaned in to whisper. The three words that dripped from her tongue in the most delicious of ways, making you wet... Tonight, you’re mine. It wasn’t the first time you had been invited back to her room, but it was the first time she had ever proclaimed it in such a way. Mine.

“Psst… Heyyy… Hey, sweets.. You’re up.”

Your eyes shot up, locking onto Daniela’s as she gave you a wink. Fuck, has Alcina already said my name? You took a look around, everyone in the room was completely still - Alcina’s eyes slightly amused as if she was fully aware of what had you so distracted. Yeah, totally wasn’t completely lost in the gay thought of you or anything. Internally rolling your eyes, you rose from your seat. The faded plush carpet still soft beneath your feet as you made your way down the length of the room. Rows of candlelight illuminating your every step. Alcina’s eyes boring into you - the tiniest smirk painted upon her perfect lips as she turned to face you - finishing her speech as she did. The sweet musk of her pheromones rolling over you in waves as she leaned down, pinning a flower much like her own to the lapel of your vest.

“Welcome home, my pet.” She whispered, making you shudder. “I’ll be back in my chambers in exactly ten minutes. It’d do you well to make quick work of your thank yous. I do not like to be kept waiting.”

You swallowed hard as she pulled away, silken cream accentuating her curves as she made her way back to the corridor - your brain glitching with each delicious sway of her hips. You wasted no time in making your way back through the room, only stopping to say a quick goodnight to the girls - each of them with a knowing look on their face. A fierce blush quickly moving in as Daniela gave you her own version of a thumbs up. Yeah, that thumb definitely isn’t hers. You moved through the long corridors of the castle as swiftly as possible - anticipation rolling over you like a fever dream. Every cell in your body alive - charged - eager to be completely overwhelmed by her presence. You rapped your fingers lightly against the thick wood of her bedroom door, only entering once you heard her answer - knowing there would be severe punishment if you didn’t - the lashes on your backside still fresh from the last time.

“Salutations, my pet.”

There was no amount of warning that would have sufficiently prepared you for the view you walked into. The body sprawled across the length of her bed - eyes glowing timbers as you made your way further into the room. The delicious landscape of her thighs ever so prevalent - damn near shimmering in the moonlight that danced it’s way through her bedroom window. Fuck, she’s a literal work of art.

“Good evening, my lady.” You replied, doing your best to sound composed.

She chuckled, giving you a wry smirk. “You seemed quite distracted during the ceremony, my pet. Care to tell me why?”

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry I missed my queue, my lady. It won’t happen again.”

“That is not what I asked, my pet. Don’t make me ask again.”

You swallowed hard, watching every muscle in her body flex slightly as she slowly shifted herself up from her spot on the bed, rising. The fine lace of her nightgown clinging deliciously to every supple curve. Her large frame - imposing - looming over you as you tried to find the proper words. She knew she was only making it harder for you to think, and she reveled in it. Her eyes growing darker while you fumbled to reply.

“I… well, I’m.. It’s just.. Fuck… you are quite distracting, my lady.”

“Oh, I’m aware, dear.” She chuckled. “Though, I will need you to do a better job at listening from now on. I will not be embarrassed in front of my family again. Next time, I may not be so … understanding. Are we clear?”

“Yes, my lady. My apologies.”

“Very good, my pet. Now, as much as I appreciate how nicely that outfit suits you.. I do believe you are a bit overdressed at this point, wouldn’t you agree?”

You gave her a nod - the amount of heat that spilled over you from nothing more than her tone was immediate - unrelenting - a wild fire of anticipation finding its way into every last crevice of your body. The chilled air of the castle becoming more soothing against your flushed skin with every piece of fabric that fell to the floor. Her pupils growing more dilated with each inch of your skin that becomes exposed to her. She was hungry for you - you could see it. It was the way she looked at all of her prey before she completely devoured them. The ways her eyes lingered from one curve to another, taking her time to truly appreciate the landscape of you. Your skin growing more flushed with each gaze that they gifted you. Her hips moving to some unheard melody as she began to close the distance between you - the sheerest of lace allowing you to see just enough of her to make your brain almost completely glitch out. Fuuuck.

“I seem to remember something about a specific kink of yours, my pet.”

“O-oh?”

“Something about being quite the fan of…. The larger things in life?”

“Oh…” Oh, fuck.

“Mhm… and as you may have noticed. There isn’t a single part on me that isn’t .. large.”

Alcina practically purred the last word - the cooled bricks of the castle walls a balm against your overly flushed skin as she continued to push you back. You swallowed, doing your best not give her any indication as to just how fucking wet you were.

“Ah… ahem… yes.. Yes, I may have noticed that.”

She laughed, her voice low and husky - filled with desire. “You are quite fetching when you’re flustered, my pet.”

“Erm.. “

Great, I’ll just be reduced to a chorus of random noises now, thanks.

“What a precious human you are. Maybe even my favorite pet thus far.”

“Mph.. fuck, my lady.”

Another chuckle as she leaned in even further. “And would my delicious pet enjoy it if their Lady.. indulged them in this kink of theirs?”

“.... Y-yes, my lady.”

“Good.” The utter firmness that one single word could muster almost making you short circuit. “Now then, if I were you, my pet. I would turn around and brace yourself against the wall.”

You gulped, this time loud enough for Alcina to hear - causing her to smirk. Her pupils dilated to a point where they threatened to swallow you whole. Nodding, you swiftly turned your body to face the wall, a hand on either side of you for support.

“Well, I do believe this may be my most favorite view of you yet.”

Fuuuck.

She allowed you to settle yourself into position before slowly moving in. “Safeword?”

“Heisenberg.”

The unguarded laugh that cut through the night air immediately made you smirk - the shadow of her silhouette flickering in the candlelight as her head fell back uninhibitedly.

“Oh, you are quite the humorous one, my pet… I do enjoy it.”

“Thank you, my lady.” You replied, blushing.

“Are you ready, dear?”

“Yes, my lady.”

She leaned over - dropping down to your height - warm breath spilling over the back of you as she placed a large hand directly next to your own. You could only imagine just how delicious her hips must have been swayed in order to position herself in such a way. The feeling of her immense frame pressing ever so firmly into your backside as she breathed you in.

“And don’t think I can’t smell how wet you are, my pet… I know you’re dripping for me.” She said, dragging the tip of her tongue up the entire length of your neck. “I bet when I spread those tasty little human legs of yours, the juices will be damn near gushing... Won’t they?”

Error 404. Fuuuuuuu-

“Mmph.”

“Let me hear you, pet.”

You knew when Alcina dropped the ‘my’ that she meant business. “Fuck… yes.. they will be, Lady Dimitrescu.”

She chuckled in response. “Such a good pet”

You were certain you were about to burst into literal gay flames at any moment - every inch of your body covered in a deep crimson. Your breath hitching as the girth of one of Alina’s fingers began to trace it’s way up your inner thigh - stopping just shy of where you wanted it most - resting against your core. You whimpered in response, causing her to chuckle.

“What a needy little human. Are you so desperate to feel me?”

“I’m always desperate to feel you, my lady.”

You knew you had disarmed her, if even for a moment. Quiet as her finger slowly spread your lips apart - warm juices instantly coating it. The sheer size of it apparent as she slid it down the front of your core - allowing the tip of it to just barely slip inside. A soft whimper escaping from your mouth.

“Let’s see how many of these you can take, my pet, hm?”

“Y-yes, my lady. Please.”

“Oh, I do love it when you beg for me, dear.”

Before you could even think to respond - brat out, speak in any way - Alcina slid the length of her finger deep inside, immediately filling you. You whimpered again, grinding your hips down into her - desperate for more.

“Ah, ah… patience, my pet.”

“Yes, my lady. Sorry.”

An achingly slow pace, each teasing thrust only making you drip for her even more. The length of her frame looming over you, heat radiating over you in waves as she slowly slid the girth of her finger in and out of you. If just one of her fingers felt this good, you could only imagine how incredible another would feel.

“More... my lady.. please. “

“Such a delicious little pet.”

Low sweet tones, reverberating across your skin. A sharp inhale as the tip of the second finger pressed against you.

“Ready, my pet?”

“Mmph.. yes, my lady.. fuck.”

Slow and deliberate - a multitude of juices guiding her finger in as your core stretched around them - the second one just as thick as the first - causing you to immediately moan out for her. Body shuddering, eyes half lidded - your body a lightning bolt of pure need.

“Comfortable, dear?”

“Y-yes. my lady.. Very.”

Her pheromones overwhelming you as she leaned in, placing a firm bite to your shoulder. The warm sting of it cascading across your body. Her long tongue skating softly over it before she pulled away, kissing down your nape and shoulder blades. Another bite to your other shoulder as she thrust both fingers deep inside of you.

“Mmmph-!”

You were trying everything in your power to muffle your moans - but the steady pace of Alcina’s fingers were doing their best to quickly unravel you.

“Let me hear you, pet.” She said, punctuating her words with a firm thrust.

“Mmph… Fuck..”

Your forehead fell against the cool brick of the castle wall as you moaned - whimpered - screamed out for her. Warm juices dripping down your inner thighs as you bucked your hips down into the thickness of her fingers. You had never felt anything so good in your entire life - and yet, you still wanted more.

“Fuck… I… Alcina… more.. please.. “

“.... As you wish, my pet.”

A third finger, perfectly positioned - the tip of it, immediately shooting a lightning bolt of the most delicious pain straight through your body - pressing against your entrance. Fuck, she feels so good.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, my lady.”

Even slower than with the second one, Alcina took her time guiding the third finger deep inside of you.

“Comfortable?”

“Mmph.. y-yes…” You tried to answer - the muscles in your body beginning to shake.

“Such a needy human you are… taking so much of me.”

“Mmph.. fuck.. Yes..”

“But you are doing so well, my pet.”

“Erm… fuck..” Fuck.

She took her time allowing your body to adjust to the mere size of her. Every inch of you flushed beyond measure as she started a slow and steady pace. A warm sting as you matched her rhythm - grinding down - taking as much of her as you possibly could. You had never felt so full - so complete - so utterly fulfilled by the simple act of three fingers. You bit your bottom lip, feeling the first tidal wave of pleasure as it started to crash over you. Her fingers becoming more relentless as she took you over the edge. The sheer size of her holding you in place. The amount of bites she gifted you - a trail of burning embers decorating your flushed skin. Her honeyed voice rolling over you, telling you just how fucking perfect you were. Taking her fingers down to the knuckle on each thrust - allowing her to fill you, over and over again. Waves of pleasure crashing again and again. Warm juices dripping down to your knees as her pace proved merciless - until you could barely breathe, barely think - your voice hoarse from screaming out her name. You could feel your body shudder as she finally began to level off - wondering how many orgasms she had just given you - and you hoped she didn’t ask. Alcina leaned down again, placing a soft kiss to your dewy skin - droplets of sweat painted over every inch of you as she slowly slid her fingers out of your throbbing core - causing you to shudder. It was a sound so satisfying that it almost instantly made you wet all over again. FUCK. Your body swiftly falling against the brick - relishing the coolness of it.

“That was absolutely exquisite, my pet. You will have to let me indulge you in that more often.”

“Mmmh.. any.. time.. my lady... “ You responded between breaths.

“... With a strap next time, perhaps. Would you like that?”

You turned - immediately locking your eyes onto hers as you mustered a smirk. “Very much, my lady.”

“Good. Now.. rest up, my pet The hour is late and I still expect to be properly tended to.”

“I would never leave my lady so unsatisfied.” You replied, breath finally steadying.

“I should expect not.”

“Actually… I’ve been thinking, my lady… have you… ever had your body worshiped? Properly?”

With nothing more than the smirk painted across her perfect lips, Alcina undid her nightgown in one fluid motion.

[writingsofababygirl]

The GoodGirl

She tossed and turned in the vast expanse of a bed too large for one small body. Desperate for sleep to pull her away from the dull ache that had become a constant source of discomfort these past many months. When she did sleep the dreams would flood her brain.

She wanted to be a GoodGirl. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t cave to her primal needs and give her body to just anyone. As she writhed in bed in that hazy barely awake state, she became increasingly aware of the all to familiar ache. It wasn’t her heart that ached. It was her core.

No longer content with her own hand or the drawer of toys that had gotten her this far, she craved what she knew existed but could not have. Him. His words permeated her mind, and her body reacted. Her need to give in to her most depraved thoughts was eroding what little willpower remained.

She glanced at the clock… 11:03 pm. Picking up her phone. Hands trembling with apprehension. She found his number and texted…”I accept” and hit send… She waited for what felt like hours. 11:05 her phone vibrated. It was Him. “Be ready for me at midnight. Wear the clothes in the box I sent…”

Her body instantly on fire. Aching. Needy. Feral. She rose to find the box in her closet. It had arrived weeks ago but she’d not opened it. Peeling back the red and silver tissue paper she found what she outfit for her awakening would be. Black seamed silky stockings. Black lace and ribbon garter belt. A matching thong. Black peep toe pumps with a familiar red sole… and two thick red silk ribbons. The note read “one ribbon for your breasts, one for your eyes”. She dressed quickly, trembling with both apprehension and unyielding need. Then she sat on the chair by the door, tied the last ribbon over her eyes and waited for Him.

She heard the door open and felt his presence. A warm firm hand on her shoulder. Then his breath in her ear…”It’s time”. She rose and he wrapped her in a soft blanket leading her out to his waiting car. As she settled into the warm of the car he pulled her into his lap. “There is nothing to fear. You’re safe with me. Remember, you’ve wanted this… and I want to give it to you”.

Her mind was spinning. Suddenly she wondered if she'd made a mistake. There was no backing out now. Plans were in motion. The car came to a stop and she felt the cold night air grip her body as the door swung open. He took her by the hand and helped her out of the car. Keenly aware she was barely clothed she followed his lead. Unable to see, she had no choice but to trust Him.

She could feel the heat of the lights on her skin. It smelled of sandlewood. Her nipples hardened with anticipation. Each step she took the lace of the thong rubbed against her aching and now engorged clit. “Stand here and wait for me”. He disappeared for what felt like an hour but was probably all of 5 minutes. “It’s time, be a GoodGirl and come with me”. That phrase. It ripped through her like lighting and she soaked the lace and silk. He led her up three stairs and turned her body toward Him.

She felt him lean in close and he softly but firmly spoke. “You will do as I say. You are safe. You are cared for. Nothing will happen that you haven’t been craving. You have your safe word. Use it only if you really need to because you will not get this offer twice…” Her breathing now rapid and shallow she replied “I understand”.

She felt Him kneel down before her. His hands touching her body as light as a feather. Tracing all along the sides of her breasts. Her belly. Her hipbones. Her inner thighs… Then she heard it… his pocket knife flicked open. Before she could object he cut the thong from her body. As He peeled it away from her she felt her wetness drip down. With one finger he touched her thigh and wet her lips with her own arousal. Then grabbing the back of her neck and wrapping his fingers in her hair, he pulled her into his mouth tasting her from her lips.

She felt him pull away and sit. He grabbed her hips and pulled her down into his lap. She felt his warm naked chest press against her back and felt the softness of his jeans on her bottom. He wrapped his arms around her and once again attempted to settle her nerves. “You are safe. You are cared for. I will not leave you. Do you understand Kitten?” “Yes…”she purred. “GoodGirl”. She knew she was about to be anything but good.

And so it began…

He slid His warm firm hands down her thighs and pulled her knees apart. She felt a sudden heat and red light flooded through her blind fold. Still unable to see. She felt Him slip noise canceling headphones in her ears. The only sense remaining was touch, taste and smell. “Nod if you can hear me Kitten” His voice. That would be all she would hear for the next few hours…. She nodded affirming she did.

“You are going to feel things. Smell things. Taste things. You won’t know who or what is touching you but I do know it will test your resolve… you have no new rules. Just feel and respond as you wish but you may not leave my lap or use your hands unless I instruct you. If you don’t adhere to these two rules I’ll bind your hands and hold you down, nod if you understand”. Again she nodded in affirmation.

Suddenly she heard movement in the room. She felt as if she’d been in the room before. The smells were familiar and she was aware of being on a wooden stage. The heat of the lights now driving her arousal. A gentle tug of the ribbon and her breasts were free. Now aware that she was totally exposed and mostly naked except for her garters, stockings and pumps. Legs spread apart and draped over His thighs. Breasts warmed by the lights. Nipples fully erect. Pussy aching, dripping, engorged, needy. She felt electric. He nuzzled her neck and held her hands.

Warm wetness on her right nipple. A mouth. She gripped his hands. His voice in her ear, “just feel….”. Now a second mouth on her other nipple. Two mouths. One hard and greedy. The other soft and sensual. If she had to guess she’d guess a man and a woman were both feeding on her naked body. Her pussy began to steadily drip. Engorged. Clit aching for attention. Contracting under the heat of the lights. Desperate for more she arched her hips up.

She felt conflicted. Her body craved this. Dreamed of this. Begged for this. But she felt slutty and unsure… “Just….feel...don’t think. Settle. Breathe. Enjoy...You’re a GoodGirl”. That’s all she needed and her clit began to spasm. Needy. Dripping. Begging for relief. The mouths stop feeding and her nipples once again harden as they lose the warmth… She feels light touches on her inner thighs. Fingers tracing up to her sopping wetness. Then a tongue tracing the outside lips of her eager pussy. A fingertip barely enters her. Bucking against the tongue begging for more. Fingers plunging into her wetness. The mouths return to her nipples. He kisses her neck and gently tugs on her hair. “Let go Kitten, feel…..” The first orgasm rips through her body. Losing control, her arms flail and He holds her down. Gushing all over the rough bearded face that’s feasting on her. Over the course of the next hour it’s unrelenting. One mouth after another. Some soft. Some demanding. Orgasm after orgasm ripping through her body. “Fuck me please, she screams. I need your cock”. His voice in her ear… “once I enter you it’s just us...are you sure you want that”? Nodding furiously she begs Him. Take me now.

He pulls her legs together and puts her on her knees. “Open your mouth Kitten” As she opens she feels his throbbing warm cock slide in. She needs to taste Him. Please Him. Thank Him for giving her one of her deepest fantasies. Pulling out of her he takes her by the hand and pushes her onto a nearby mattress. On all fours she feels him grab her hips and plunge forcefully into her needy body. Waves of pleasure rush over her body and she convulses and spasms. Gushing all over him he keeps pounding over and over. Her legs begin to give out and she hears him “GoodGirl….” He unleashes ropes of cum deep into her pussy. Collapsing on the bed in a heap, He lays down next to her. Wraps his arms around her quivering body and softly kisses her face.

“You were such a GoodGirl Kitten. I’m so proud of you. You’ve made me very happy. Let’s get you home to bed.” Tenderly cleaning her, He wraps her in the blanket and carries her spent body to the car. Sleep will not elude her tonight.

[planetjisungie]

lucky charms- h.rj

characters; ravenclaw! renjun x hufflepuff! reader ft. gryffindor! mark and gryffindor! jeno (sigh)

summary; with the exams coming up, you need a little help with your charms. well you dont, you just needed an excuse to talk to your long time crush, huang renjun

an; i literally changed this on the spot 🤡 plot holes here i come- (also id like to think jeno is more of a hufflepuff but idk man)

sigh okay this is a long boi

end of year exams were in just a few weeks

yay, your absolute favourite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarcasm

now, charms

in room 99, classroom 2E in the south tower

i did my research

you were pretty good at charms, not nearly as good as you were in the care of magical creatures and herbology though

still above averagely good

you know who else was good at charms?

huang renjun

the star ravenclaw prince boy, the pride of the house and a very beautiful boy

best boi renjun

if jeno was being quite honest he was SICK AND TIRED of hearing you two pine over eachother

jeno met you in first year, and you quickly became best friends and even ended up in the same house as eachother

despite having different friend groups (your friend group consisted of you and eunji), you stayed best friends until now aka 5th year

just go with it okay

so as he was saying before i digressed, jeno physically is pained as he watched the longing glances both you and renjun throw when the other isnt looking

but it isnt his business to meddle with your lack of relationship problems

best boi part 2

BUT! but! he will give you both a tiny! eensy! little! minuscule! nudge

that nudge being forming a plan with you

you were slightly reluctant when jenos very enthusiastic face greeted you at the table saying he had ‘a totally brilliant, spectacular, show stopping, wonderful, flawless plan’

this was jeno we were talking about

the same boy who planned the failed midnight snack run a few weeks before

and as soon as he mentioned renjun your eyes narrowed

"proceed."

the plan was for jeno to ask renjun to tutor his friend who was falling behind in charms

said friend was you

and you were ahead of the class

bUT!! you agreed because he wasnt in your class, so there was no way he could know that right?

wrong.

who was in your class?

mark lee. one of renjuns best friends.

also the boyfriend of eunji and the reason you wanted to gauge your eyeballs out everytime you turned around to talk to them

thats right eunji ditched you to sit next to her little markie. bitch.

nonetheless, you agreed because your dumb, spontaneous ass forgot that renjun even knew mark, because if someone said ‘whos mark?’ you would go ‘eunjis boyfriend’

so of course, when all the students were making their way to their class, jeno caught up with renjun seeing as they both had muggle studdies

"hey man, i have a favour to ask"

stage one of operation: stop the oblivious fuckers from pining over eachother (that name may need some revamping) was a-go

"depends what said favour is"

smart boi™️

"is it possible to tutor one of my friends in charms for the upcoming OWLs?"

oh? this piqued china pretty boys interest

"i mean, sure, i could do with some revision too. tell them to meet me at the library after school"

and so jeno walked away with a smug smirk, victorious

and when jeno told you he had agreed later in potions, you were yet you werent surprised

so of you trotted after last period, kinda nervous because youre about to be in the literal breathing proximity of renjun

like obviously youve talked to him before but this time it was just you and him

alone

no get those thoughts out of your head

n e ways u perv

renjun sat at the back table, textbooks and notebooks with his neat writing in both chinese and korean all over the pages

smart boi part 2

so seeing him not looking at you

attention whore

wow why am i so mean today

you sat down and cleared your throat, placing your blank notebooks on the table so the boy wouldnt get suspicious

you had to pray to whatever gods were listening for your cheeks not to flare up the colour of the strawberries you had for breakfast

healthy girl™️

and the gods apparently answered your prayers

because as soon as renjun looked up and into your eyes you swore you were too distracted for your blood cells to even think about moving towards your face

and renjun nearly had a heart attack (by aoa)

poor boy

jeno had NOT told him that he would be tutoring you

he was going to be choked later

"sorry im late"

renjun was nearly offended that you would even apologise to him for being late by

2 minutes and 48 seconds

"no no its okay i havent been here long"

that was a lie he had study period last and has been sat in the same goddamn chair for an hour already but your presence made his ass cheeks ache less

so he started teaching you, but ???

you seemed to fully grasp the concepts

confused boi

excuse me ma’am/sir/señor/señorita whatever you prefer to go by-

you need to brush up on your acting skills dude

appalling smh your drama teacher back from your muggle school would be completely distraught

so for the next hour renjun ‘tutored’ you

things you already knew but this was a dream-

and actually he was a funny guy

he was also muggle born, so you could both relate over things you experienced as a kid

this lead to a raging debate over dora the explorer

that bitch was shaded in said debate, fully annihilated

hola soy dora your asshole

but,, it was fun. because jeno was pureblood and grew up knowing about all his magicky stuff so he was kinda boring sometimes

no tea no shade

but you ended the session with smiles on both your faces, cheeks literally aching with how hard youd been laughing and smiling

so lads

the next day at breakfast renjun was all happy, plonking himself next to mark at the gryffindor table because

man does not give a SHIT about the looks he was getting. he is huang renjun.

"why are you so smiley this morning? and why didn’t you come to my common room last night"

the gryffindor common room was the dreamie hang out

no one dared tell THE mark lee to go somewhere else with his friends

"sorry, last night i was tutoring y/n in charms" smiley boy still

mark seagull eyebrows: activated

excuse him?? charms?? you?? the one who got an outstanding in your report card??

something smells fishy here

"renjun... y/n got an outstanding on her charms"

eunji who had magically appeared next to mark basically said what he was just thinking

confused boi part ??

"wait what?"

but later on he didnt question you about it

he silently observed you

he told himself that anyway

quite honestly if you were spending time with him he was not about to complain

he was staring at you, simply put

my leng bby (thats you, youre my leng bby)

so for the next 2 weeks every day after school you would meet up to ‘catch up’ on your charms

that being said it literally always, every time, ended up with you two talking about something unrelated

like the 5th day you had a conversation about which series of power rangers was better

"SPD, obviously"

AM I THAT OLD?? on god i hate it here

"no, y/n, we all know that dino force is better"

i agree with y/n on this one pal

on the 7th day you talked about muggle sports that you both enjoyed

"i played a lot of cricket"

"cricket? okay tory"

"i am NOT a tory"

on the last day when you should have been, you know, LEARNING

you were having a lovely old chinwag about the x factor

"simon cowell is a king"

"i agree"

legend behaviour if you ask me

wait does chinwag exist in other countries??? translation: chat

so of course the exams came up

but you were dreading them for a different reason

this meant the end of tutoring with renjun

this was super bittersweet, you wanted to spend more time with eachother

you literally could it wasn’t that deep both of you are so dumb smh aint nothing stopping you

jeno agrees with me too, mans pulling out his hair still as you had somehow not gotten together yet

it was like watching snails race, incredibly frustrating but you know that there is the finish line somwhere over the horizon

so you took your exams and both of you passed with flying colours, obviously

smart kids

and you ran right to renjun to celebrate

seeing as he had

not really helped you but you thought that he thought he helped you

oh no honey he knew that you didnt need help

but he didnt know whether to confront you about it?

rip your guilty conscience

so after a long discussion with mark, our china boy decided to ask why the heck you wanted his help when you were absolutely fully capable

unlike mark

and when you saw him approach you first in the halls your heart went

NYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

that was the sound of a fast motorbike

"hi y/n"

‘damn renjun, couldnt have thought of anything better than that?’

"uhh hi renjun"

awkward silence by stray kids

"i just wanted to know why you asked for my help"

okay where is the nearest shovel and what is the most efficient way to dig a large hole-

as if renjun sensed your panic radiating off you in waves

which he did

"not that it was an issue! i enjoyed spending time with you, it was just, you didnt really need help"

he was a pure boy

so you puffed your cheeks and decided to just come clean

somewhere, jeno felt his senses tingling

"genuinely i just wanted to spend some time with you because i really like you"

renjun froze and wanted to smack his head into a wall

bruh

you noticed his expression and panicked yet again

stop panicking man its okay i gotchu

"it was jenos idea"

blame jeno is always a fool-proof plan b

unless you get pregnant, that would not be a good idea

so i guess its not fool proof

BUT I DIGRESS

renjun face palms and groans

"youre kidding me! all this time we wasted doing boringass charms work when we couldve gone on dates"

confusion™️

but?? you felt hopeful??

"i dont think im on the same wavelength"

"i like you too dumbass"

oH so YOURE the dumbass??

yes, yes you are renjun is best boi, accept the L which is really a W bc renjun likes you back

jeno who had found his way to you, listening from around the corner sighed in happiness

"fucking finally!!"

[tetsuroyaoyaoya]

A Crow Without Wings

tsukishima kei x reader - part four

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It was too early for you to be roaming the halls of the school.

Despite not being due to officially start your manager duties until the practice match, you had decided to see if you could catch the end of the boys’ morning practice just to check in and ask if they needed anything from you, so that you could prepare for it later on. Since Kiyoko was still their main manager and she’d been doing this for years, you doubted that they would, but it gave you the excuse to tease your brother after the argument you had the day prior.

It wasn’t really that early, and you had only gotten to school twenty minutes earlier then you usually did, meaning there were already quite a few other students wandering around, waiting for the day to begin. At first, you didn’t pay them any mind, but then you began to notice the staring, and the whispers, and the looks.

It was as if you were back at Shiratorizawa again, walking the halls just as you had a few months ago, after the accident. You weren’t dreaming, right? This was definitely Karasuno, where nobody knew who you were?

Pinching yourself with quite a bit of force, you winced, confirming that you were, in fact, very much conscious, and very much confused. It could have always been something completely unrelated to you, or you were just paranoid. But no matter what you told yourself, you had an extremely bad feeling about whatever was going on.

Deciding to put the matter aside for now and ignore everyone else, you carried on through the building and out towards the gym, where it seemed to be uncharacteristically quiet to say there was meant to be a morning practice.

Quickening your pace slightly, just in case you had managed to miss them, you bumped into someone at the door of the gym.

“Rei?”

“Yams?” He looked panicked, eyes darting about as if he didn’t know where to look and not-so-subtly trying to steer you away from the building. If it was any other day, you would have just brushed it off as him being anxious like he usually was, but it felt like he was purposely trying to distract you, which concerned you.

“Let her in, Tadashi.” Looking up, your eyes met Tsukishima’s as he walked up to stand just behind the other first year that was blocking your way. Frowning, you noticed an unusually hard look on his face, and he, too, was avoiding looking at you. Letting out a huff of annoyance, you rolled your eyes at them both, thinking that it was just Tsukishima’s new plot to try and get on your nerves.

If it was, it was working.

“What? Is this some kind of joke? It’s really not funny.” Purposely brushing shoulders with Yamaguchi as you passed, you entered the gym to find that none of the team were actually playing, and they were instead huddled together at the bench.

“Rei-chan…” Sugawara looked at you with his signature warm smile, but his eyes were glossed over slightly, and he looked tense.

“Okay, what is happening today?” You were exasperated. The team had literally only just seen you last night, and yet this morning was so different.

“Is it true?” Your gaze shifted slightly to the right of Suga, seeing the normally excitable tangerine sat completely still, staring at you with wide eyes and furrowed brows. You never even thought that Hinata could make such a serious expression.

“Is what true?” The group of boys parted slightly as you approached to let you through and Suga handed you a tablet, presumably the coach’s.

“This was posted over every local news and sport site imaginable this morning.” Your heart dropped to your feet as you saw your name in bold, front and centre, in the article title.

This could not be happening.

People finding out who you were and what happened to you was frankly inevitable, and you knew that, but you didn’t expect ti to be posted across the news for the entire country to see.

“Holy shit,” Daichi never even opened his mouth to chastise you, in complete disbelief over what Suga had just read out to them.

Hurriedly, your eyes skimmed over the beginning of the article as you felt tears well up in your eyes. It only got worse the further you read on. Whoever their ‘exclusive source’ was, they had strung the most detailed web of lies you had ever come across, and if it wasn’t about you, you would have believed it.

‘Kageyama Rei used Ushijima Wakatoshi for his reputation, to pull herself to the top of the social chain at Shiratorizawa in order to gain a place on the volleyball team. She has absolutely no talent. The only reason she was even on the team was because she blackmailed the coach and forced Ushijima to threaten to quit the boys’ team if she didn’t get a place. Kageyama dragged the entire team down and completely ruined their chance to go to nationals, even going as far as causing another player to get injured due to her recklessness on the court.

‘When Ushijima found out what she was really like, they broke up, and since he wasn’t there to threaten the coach and the team for her anymore, she lost her place and was expelled. Nobody has seen her since, and I’m not surprised. It was embarrassing for everyone involved.’

This really did have to be a dream.

“No! None of this is true!” This wasn’t meant to happen. You were meant to have a new start. You were meant to be happy.

“Look, I’ll show you why we didn’t go to nationals.” Opening a new tab on the tablet, your hands trembled as you searched for the video you had ingrained into your brain by this point from having watched it so many times.

“Watch. Keep your eyes on number thirteen.” Turning the tablet around, you made sure that the whole team had a clear view of it as the video began to play. Even Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had moved over to watch, as they’d never seen it before.

They began to get excited as they watched the first few spikes, and you bit your lip as you heard a few of them gasp in awe as they followed the player.

But you knew what was coming.

You closed your eyes.

And flinched.

That scream haunted your nightmares, even now, and you could still hear in ringing in your ears as the video came to an end, a tear rolling down your cheek.

Opening your eyes, you looked over the many expressions of horror before you, each member still staring at the tablet in shock. You handed it back to Suga and felt his hand shake as he took it from you.

“Number thirteen was taken out of the game and Shiratorizawa withdrew from the competition altogether. Seijoh won by default. She wasn’t expelled, or even kicked from the team; she spent two weeks in the hospital, three months unable to walk, and another two in a leg brace on crutches. The doctor told her she could never play again.” A few gasps were heard, and you sighed.

“How do you know so much?” You gave Asahi a sad smile and fumbled with your fingers as you tried to think of a way to finally tell them your secret.

“Rei, you don’t have to do this.” Tsukishima was staring you down from the other side of the group, his glasses positioned further down the bridge of his nose than you had ever seen them before, him having not bothered adjusting them, and you resisted the urge to tease him about it.

“Yes, I do.” Reaching down, you pulled your sock down from over your knee, you revealed the compression sleeve that you were still required to wear. Taking a deep breath, you pushed that down as well, showing them all your injury.

The skin of your knee had healed considerably since the operation, but you still remember very vividly how it was mangled and out of place, and now all that remained were the deep pink indents, scars littered all over. The ones from the stitches were the most prominent; little raised bumps in neat lines down the sides of your knee.

I was the one that was injured.” Some of them had to look away from you, swallowing down the lumps in their throats that had formed, blinking their tears away.

“I’d been friends with Ushijima since we were kids, and we did date last year, but he was the reason we split up, not me. I got onto that team, and the All-Japan team, all by myself. We never threatened the coaches, and I left on my own accord. This entire thing is complete bullshit.” There was silence for a few moments, and you let yourself calm down slightly before pulling your sock back up. None of you really knew where to look or what to do next.

Someone, obviously who you knew, had created an entire fabrication of the past year of your life, and no one at your new school would be able to tell if it was a lie or not.

“Rei? Rei!” You spun around as someone stumbled into the gym, breathing heavily, clearly having run over.

“Pinch?” He looked up at you with a relieved smile, but quickly saw the tears on your face and rushed over.

“Kitten, oh fuck.” You barely had time to register it as he dragged you into a hug, but it definitely didn’t take you long for you to relax into it, enjoying the comfort of his arms. His hand ran over your hair and you turned your face inwards, resting in the crook of his neck.

“Are you okay?” He pulled away and gave you a quick once over, making sure that you were fine.

“What are you doing here?”

“I saw that disgusting article and couldn’t help it.” Shaking your head in amusement, you giggled, even through the tears.

“You could have just called, dummy.” Realisation dawned on his face and it made you laugh even more. You were interrupted by a cough, reminding you that the team was still huddled not far away.

“Oh, um, this is Semi Eita. Eita, this is my new team.” He bowed and the rest of the boys nodded their heads back at him in greeting.

“Sorry for barging in.”

“No, it’s totally fine. We just found out about it ourselves.” Daichi was trying is best at being nice but was obviously trying to profile the poor boy next to you, especially seen as he was wearing his Shiratorizawa uniform. Semi tensed beside you and your eyes landed on Tanaka and Nishinoya creeping closer, clearly trying to intimidate him.

“Boys,” you glared at them in warning and they paused, not taking their eyes off of their target. “Behave!” They backed off but made a point to stare from a distance.

“Where’s Tobio?” Due to all the chaos, you had only just noticed that your brother was the only one missing from the gathering, and you were surprised at yourself for not realising that he wasn’t there.

“He stormed out as soon as we saw the article.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you tried to come up with a way to deal with him.

“Nice.” Semi placed a hand gently between your shoulder blades in an attempt to calm you down a bit.

“Right, I’ll deal with him later. You boys better clean up and get ready for class before Kiyoko sees. Do not be late to the match after school, and I will see you all there, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am!” It brought a smile to your face and tension in the air began to disperse. They got to clearing up the equipment and Semi handed you a tissue to wipe your remaining tears as Sugawara approached.

“If you need anything today, no matter what, you can come and find one of us. Even Kiyoko.” He placed a hand on your arm to comfort you and you nodded back at him.

“Thank you.” It was barely a whisper, but he understood, giving you one of his toothy grins before going over to join the other boys.

Today was not going to be your day.

~~~

Handing Semi a drink from the vending machine, you placed yourself next to him on the bench behind the gym. Daichi had assured you that none of the teachers check there on their rounds and you could chat with your friend in peace for a while.

So here you both were, skipping the morning period, avoiding teachers, and drinking juice.

“If he’s seen it, he doesn’t care. I found out from Tendou.” He answered your unspoken question and confirmed your suspicions. You knew the article would have no effect on Ushijima, whether it was true or not. He was basically a household name at this point, and anyone would believe that he did nothing wrong, especially with how the article made him out to be a victim of the situation, despite the situation never existing at all. It also showed he was long over you; he didn’t care about you anymore.

Shuffling closer to Semi, you came to rest your head on his shoulder. You had missed having close friends around like this, and while the two of you hadn’t spoken since you left, it felt as if you had seen him just yesterday.

“Well, the peace was nice while it lasted.” You tried to joke, but he could sense the slight tremble in your voice. You were afraid of what was going to happen next, knowing that some people would never believe you if you told them what really happened.

“It was someone close to me, it had to have been.” Semi’s mouth was set into a firm line, having realised that himself. There were details in that article that not just anyone knew, and it was unsettling to know that the entire thing was possibly planned by someone you called a friend.

“You’ll be okay.” He brought his hand around you and lent his head on yours.

“I hope so.”

~~~

You were exhausted.

Luckily, Aihara and Sasuke had already known about your accident for a while now, so at least they weren’t suddenly against you like everyone else seemed to be. They had stayed by your side for the majority of the day, making sure that you were okay and warding off anyone that might try something on you.  

Even so, you couldn’t get the article out of your thoughts. Apart from the excerpt you had read this morning, you hadn’t seen any more of it, so you couldn’t even begin to imagine what people thought of you since you hadn’t read the entire thing. All you knew, according to your two friends, and Semi, was that everything that this mysterious person had said about you was absolutely awful and completely untrue. You were curious, but you knew reading more would only upset you further.

The school day finally ended, and you met up with Kiyoko to start preparing for the practice match. She didn’t question you about anything, which you were grateful for, and you both had a pleasant chat as you gathered paperwork and set up equipment.

Soon enough, the boys also started to arrive at the gym, rushing to get into uniform, and you greeted them as Kiyoko returned from going to speak with the other team’s manager.

“Ouginishi will arrive at 4:30!” She announced, receiving a chorus of responses. Coach Ukai caught your attention and he waved you over to speak to him.

“Kageyama, I want you to sit out of this one.”

“What? Why?” It was meant to be the first match with you as their manager. You wanted to see them play a real match.

“You need to go and clear your head. I can see from the other side of the court that your mind is in the clouds. The boys told me what happened, and they agreed that it can wait one more day for you to start.” Clearly upset, you frowned at him, but you understood. You had been out of it all day, and volleyball was merely another distraction to add to the mix.

“You can’t tell them how to improve if you aren’t fully in the match, so go home, and rest.” Bowing your head, you gave him a weak nod. He didn’t seem too concerned about the article, but he had known who you were from the start, so obviously it wasn’t important to him.

Picking up your bag from where you had dropped it down next to the bench, you turned to leave but was stopped as you bumped into someone for the second time today.

“Giving up already?” That sneer. There was only one person that it could be, and you rolled your eyes, looking up at the blond who was staring you down, a sly smirk sitting happily on his face.

“Shut it, Tsukki.” You huffed, and he dropped the smirk.

“Oi,” Raising an eyebrow at him as he glared at you, you couldn’t help but realise you were really getting sick of his hot and cold attitude that he’d been showing you over the past few weeks. It was a wonder how Yamaguchi stayed friends with him.

“Get over it already.” You couldn’t help but let your jaw drop at his words, not even being able to form a response as he left you dumbfounded.

“Excuse me?”

“There’s nothing you can do about it, so there’s no use moping about, is there? So just get over it.” You hated it, but he had a really good point. It wasn’t like you could change what had already happened, and there wasn’t really a point in trying to change what people thought about you right now, so what was the point in being distracted by it?

“Get over yourself, beanpole.” Chuckling as his face scrunched up in annoyance, you readjusted the bag on your shoulder and walked out of the gym, not even bidding farewell to the other boys.

The fresh air was nice as you walked, but you found it difficult to clear your mind. Taking Tsukishima’s advice was easier said than done. It wasn’t like you could just be fine with the article straight away, especially after getting so worked up over it through the day.

Even if you didn’t care about the stupid thing anymore, that interview had still been given by someone very close to you, and the fact that you had been stabbed in the back like that by one of your friends was going to weigh on your mind for a while, whether you liked it or not.

You just hoped that you would never find out who did it, for your sake and theirs.

~~~

Cursing at no one in particular, you hurried your pace as you rushed for the train. If you made this next one, you could get to Tokyo earlier that you had thought you were able to, and you could hopefully get there before dinner.

The team must have already arrived by now and were probably in the middle of a game. It was a shame that you weren’t able to travel with them, but it lifted your spirits to know that your brother and his orange sidekick were going to be late as well.

You had known they were hopeless, so you weren’t surprised when they failed their exams; you had laughed at them, in fact, earning a slap over the head from Daichi. However, you hadn’t expected for them to actually try and still make it to the training camp, despite the make-up exam being on the first day. It really didn’t help that Tanaka had encouraged them and offered for his sister to pick them up from the school and drive them all the way over from Miyagi.

Your excuse for being late was that you doctor’s appointment had been rescheduled at the last minute, to just after midday, so you couldn’t be there for the start of the camp.

It was so worth it though.

The doctor had cleared you for minor practice, meaning you could play volleyball again. There were restrictions of course, a lot of them, and you knew your brother was going to be less than pleased about it, but you were just so excited to be able to spike a ball once again. That serve last week had left you buzzing, ready to feel the rush of adrenaline you got from seeing the view of the other side of the net being revealed to you finally, after so long.

You were also ready to kick the boys’ asses and knock them down a few pegs, that’s if the teams at the camp weren’t doing that already. Smiling at the thought, you took a seat on the train you had barely managed to catch and prepped yourself for the two-hour journey to the capital that you had ahead of you.

It was so easy to get lost in your thoughts as the train sped through the country, and your place next to the window was greatly appreciated as you looked over the mass of beautiful scenery. For once, there was nothing important on your mind, and you could finally relax and just space out. Even though your heart was pounding against your ribcage in anticipation of playing again, you kept your cool, even as the train pulled into the station, signalling you had arrived in Tokyo at last. You still had another train to catch, but you had already noticed the difference in atmosphere here.

You hadn’t been to Tokyo since you pulled out of the national team, and despite the memory, you were smiling. You felt free again; not worrying about your knee, or what people thought of you.

You had finally let go of it all.

Admitting that Tsukishima had helped you do it was out of the question though. You hadn’t spoken to him since the practice match, but he had begun to glance at you every so often when you crossed paths. He looked as if he was checking up on you, but his expression always remained stoic, so you could never tell what he was thinking. He was difficult to read, but you guessed that was what made him such a good player, even if he didn’t realise that himself.

It was almost dinner when you arrived at Nekoma, just as you had expected. Kiyoko met you at the gates and showed you to the managers’ room, informing you that there were still a couple of matches to be played yet, so you weren’t too late.

You had brought your old practice gear since it was the only thing you had on hand that was suitable for exercise. It was merely a pair of black shorts and the training shirt you wore while on the national team, but having that number and name displayed on your back again felt unreal. It was like you really belonged on the court again. Your heart ached as you looked at the flag on your chest and your sleeve as it reminded you how close you were to success, but you refused to let it ruin your excitement. You still had to wear your compression sleeve, but luckily, your kneepads covered it almost perfectly, so no one would even notice you wearing one.

You were ready.

Kiyoko brought you up to speed quickly on the team’s matches so far, and you were surprised to hear that they had lost every single one. Although, right now they were the small fry in the big pond of nationals-worthy teams, so it wasn’t exactly unexpected. While the team had improved by leaps and bounds since the start of the year, these teams had already been great for years, and Karasuno wasn’t just going to catch up overnight.

“Ah,” Kiyoko sighed.

“I left my clipboard back there. You go ahead without me.” Nodding, you watched her back for a few seconds as she hurried back to the dorms.

As you ended the gym, you noticed that Karasuno was just finishing up a game, but you couldn’t really tell who they were playing against. Though, judging by the scores, they looked like they were actually winning for once. The coach and Takeda were easy to find, and they seemed happy to see you.

“I’m cleared for practice!” Ukai grinned at you and patted you on the back.

“Good. They deserve to be taught a lesson after today.” You watched on as Hinata and your brother set up their freak quick, your eyes barely managing to keep up with the boy as he reached the opposite end of the court, suddenly in the air. The opponent managed to barely just get their fingertips on the ball, but it wasn’t enough. It slammed down on the floor, one of the other players missing it by mere centimetres.

“Hey, Hey, Hey! What do we have here?” Turning your head, you noticed a familiar two-toned head of hair with his eyes trained on the power duo stood not too far away from you.

“Tarō!” His head shot around until he found you, and you giggled as he began to run over.

“Rei-chan!” You barely had time to blink before you were in his arms as he spun you around.

“Bokuto-san, you’ll scare her off.” You were brought back to the floor and you stumbled a bit, a new pair of hands keeping you steady.

“Keiji, nice to see you again.” He made sure you were upright and stable on your feet before letting go of you and giving you a nod in greeting.

“And you, too.” They quickly took notice of your manager’s jacket and shared a look of confusion.

“You don’t go to Shiratorizawa anymore?” Shaking your head, you nodded over to your new team.

“Didn’t you hear what happened? I couldn’t stay.” Despite the shift in mood, Bokuto still had a grin on his face, and it cheered you up straight away.

“Actually, I need to go put those boys in their place.” Akaashi smiled as he caught onto what you were getting at and both of them followed you over to where your friends were resting by the side of the court. They noticed you approaching and greeted you, eyeing the two beside you.

“Do you just know all the top players, or what?” You shook your head, smiling at Suga’s comment.

“Do you think you guys would be up for one more set? No punishments this time?” As expected, Hinata was already bouncing about, a bright grin on his face.

“Ooooh! Against who?”

“Me.”

“Absolutely not!” Your brother appeared in front of you in an instant, glaring you down. The two of you had barely spoken since the article was released, and you had a feeling that your first conversation of the day was about to be an argument.

“I’ve been cleared for practice, so I’m good to play now. One set won’t kill me.” He huffed in your face and clenched his hands into fists at his sides. He was being stubborn, as usual.

“I promise to tap out the second it starts to hurt, okay?” Averting his eyes, he sighed, which was permission enough for you. You smiled and Hinata cheered, bounding up to you.

“Rei-chan! Can I be on your team?” Hearing Bokuto chuckle behind you, Hinata glanced at him in question.

“Sorry Hinata, but the other team is going to need all the help they can get.” Tanaka and Noya began to get riled up at your confidence.

“If that serve the other day was anything to go by, then she’s right. I want to be on the other team. I want to receive a spike from that hand.” Noya stood proudly with his hands on his hips, grinning at you devilishly.

“I’d expect nothing less from you, Noya.” With a smile, the team began sorting themselves into two teams as you quickly warmed up. Yourself, your brother, Tanaka, Daichi, and Ennoshita ended up on one team, and Noya, Asahi, Sugawara, Hinata, and Tsukishima were placed on the other.

It was definitely strange standing on a court like this again, especially on an all-boys court, but as soon as the coach tossed you a ball, you felt the adrenaline rush through you. Catching wind of the little independent practice match, and Bokuto’s cheers, some players from the other teams had idled towards your court to watch, intrigued by the fact that you were playing when you were clearly not on the boys’ team.

You began to hear whispers; your name, your reputation, the national logo on your shirt, the article, but you blocked them all out and got ready to serve, spinning the ball between your hands a few times.

It was just like last time; you felt alive.

Taking a few steps backwards, you adjusted your body to take your signature position, facing the left, the ball balancing on the palm of your right hand which was outstretched to face the other side of the court.

With a deep breath, you listened as Ukai blew the whistle, and you tossed the ball high up into the air. One second you were running forward, the next you were up in the air just like the ball, high above everyone else, beaming at the sight of the other side of the net. With every ounce of power you could muster, you hit the ball, feeling the sting of contact as you sent it flying towards the other end of the gym.

It hit the floor before Noya could even flinch, flying past him so fast that he could feel the air shift as it sped by.

“A service ace! On the first serve! Woah…”

“That… was… wow.”

“Nice one, Kageyama! Do it again!” You giggled at their surprise, your eyes skimming over the faces of the watching players. A lot more had noticed the game now, the crowd expanding.

“I’ll get it next time, Rei-chan!” Sending a thumbs up to Noya, you reset your position and Ukai tossed you another ball. You positioned yourself in the exact same way and sent another serve towards the other side of the court, not exactly as powerful, but shocking none the less. Although, this time, Noya just managed to dig it.

However, he sent it back to your side of the court.

“Sorry!”

“Chance ball!” Daichi shouted as he received the ball. He sent it over to Tobio and you and Tanaka both ran up to the net to spike.

You jumped and the other side’s blockers jumped with you, but as Tsukishima’s face levelled with yours, you smirked, causing him to look over just as Tanaka spiked the ball. Asahi dove to save it, but it was too late, letting the ball hit the floor, your team gaining another point.

The relay carried on for some time, both teams gaining a healthy amount of points. Most of the watchers had ditched the game, more interested in their food than anything else, but both sides refused to give up until they won.

Your side hit twenty points first, still a good five points in the lead over the others. Tsukishima had yet to block you, and despite his collected exterior, you could tell he was slowly getting more and more irritated by your tactics. No matter how much he studied you, observed your movements as you played, he could never get a read on you. He was usually fairly good at predicting movements this far into the game, but he couldn’t keep up with you. He absolutely hated it, but he was unbelievably impressed.

Was this what national players were like?

Even with you out of commission, you were wiping the floor with them. All he could tell was that you weren’t finished just yet. You still had a trick up your sleeve; you were too calm. The spikes you were hitting were amazing, but somehow not as good as your serves and he couldn’t figure out why they were so different. For the most part, you had been acting as a decoy because you had figured out that him and Hinata were paying more attention to you, but Tsukishima knew that wasn’t your position. You were a wing spiker; you had said so on that very first day he had met you. And for the wing spiker for a national team, it didn’t seem like you were putting in one hundred percent of your effort, and he couldn’t for the life of him think of a reason why you wouldn’t.

Were you that confident?

You clearly didn’t need to put in maximum effort, you were doing just fine at winning without doing so, but for someone who loved volleyball as much as you did, he had expected you to spike in the same way as Hinata, who cherished every toss he was given. There was definitely something off about it.

Tsukishima was so busy caught up in his thoughts, he missed the subtle nod that Tobio sent your way, as well as the smirk that it brought to your lips.

Asahi served the ball, which was neatly received by Ennoshita, who sent it straight to your brother. Once again, you ran up to the net, with Tsukishima and Hinata ready to block your spike. There was only one problem.

As you crouched down to jump, you smiled at them through the net. And then suddenly, you were gone, somehow already at the other side of the court, where Tanaka was meant to be right now. The other team merely blinked, and the ball was in their side of the court, rebounding off of the gym floor.

“Huh?” Pretty much every player left in the gym were stood with their jaws practically on the floor, gaping at you as you laughed.

“I was waiting for that!” You high-fived your brother, who actually looked a little shocked himself, but not as much as the rest of the team.

“Ooooh, I haven’t done that in so long! That was amazing!”

“That- that’s my spike!” Hinata rushed up to face you through the net.

“But it’s better?” Tsukishima joined in, with a little ‘hey’ from Hinata. You nodded, giggling as you looked over to see Ukai, Takeda, and Kiyoko all staring at you and Tobio in awe.

“Is this another move of ours that’s actually yours?” The blond smirked at you, actually joking with you for once.

“Technically, yes. But it’s not the spike that’s the move.”

“It’s the toss.” Ukai finished for you and you nodded.

“While the serve is actually my move, which I taught Oikawa, who taught it to Tobio here, the toss is all his.” You poked the boy in the side, and he squirmed away from you.

“I did actually teach him how to toss because that was my original position, but it’s his genius that makes it what it is. When I realised he was so good at it, I switched from setter to wing spiker so that we could both practice at the same time and benefit from it.”

“And you both got so used to each other and your abilities that there was no one that could hit his tosses like you could, until Hinata came along.” You gave the coach a thumbs up in affirmation and Hinata gaped at you.

“Two geniuses in one family, huh?” Suga still looked shocked, but he had his usual uplifting smile on his face.

“So basically, you can play any position?”

“Yup!” Giggling, you rested a hand on the back of your neck, suddenly conscious of the amount of attention that was being directed your way.

All of a sudden, a growl echoed through the gym and you sheepishly wrapped your arms around your stomach in embarrassment. The coach let out a chuckle and the team dispersed, returning to their positions.

“Okay, let’s get this wrapped up and get some food!” The whole team cheered, and you heard Bokuto join in. Shaking your head in amusement, you locked eyes with him and grinned as he and Akaashi sent you a thumbs up. You sent one back and got into position, ready to receive.

The match didn’t last much longer, you being the one to score the last four points consecutively, ending the match with your victory.

“A whole ten-point lead?” You were walking over as a new boy approached where Bokuto and Akaashi were stood. Recognising the Nekoma uniform and the severe bedhead-looking mop of black hair, you assumed this was their captain, going off what Hinata had gushed to you about their team in the run up to the camp.

“Was it the shrimp’s quick?” Akaashi nodded at you in greeting as you came to stand beside him.

“Actually, no.” Looking at him curiously, you resisted a smile as he did a double take after glancing your way.

“It was mine.” His face was a picture of pure panic, and it was hard not to find it funny.

“Kag-Kageyama Rei?” Oh, so he knew you.

“Nice to meet you.” You reached out your hand and he shook it eagerly, bowing slightly.

“Rei, this is Kuroo Tetsurou, Nekoma’s captain.” Good, you had guessed right.

“Shouyou and Tobio have told me a lot about your team.” He chuckled nervously and shuffled to stand slightly behind Bokuto, an action you raised your eyebrow at. This didn’t seem like the ‘big scary captain’ that Hinata had told you about.

“I’m actually a really big fan of yours. It’s a shame about what happened.” He was cautious about it, probably assuming that it would upset you, but you shook it off and smiled.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Rei-chan!” Turning your head, you saw Suga waving you over as the rest of the team were beginning to walk out of the gym. You nodded at him and he started to leave as well.

“Right, I’ll see you guys later?” They all nodded, and you waved at them as you jogged away to catch up with the team.

The cool breeze on your neck felt amazing as you stepped out of the gym and you closed your eyes, only for a cough to interrupt your peace. Opening one eye, you noticed the blond straight away, and you sighed as he approached you.

“What are you doing still stood here?” His hands were shoved in his pockets and he looked more worn out than he usually did.

“Waiting for you so you wouldn’t get lost.” You scoffed as the two of you started to walk towards where you assumed the cafeteria was.

“I’m not that stupid.” He rolled his eyes and smirked at you, his signature condescending expression slowly making its way back onto his face, where it belonged.

“You’re related to Kageyama, so I doubt it.” You laughed, and he was amused at how much more difficult it was to rile you up compared to your brother.

“Your blocks were really good today.” He merely hummed, and you glanced over to see him looking away from you, no quip or snide comment at the ready.

“Not good enough to stop you, apparently.” Nodding, there was a pause, the silence slightly heavy.

“Maybe so. But you have time to improve. I’m sure this camp will give you a lot to think about and work on.”

“What if I don’t want to?” You were a bit shocked, and slightly concerned.

“Don’t you want to go to nationals?” His gaze shifted to the floor, his hands finding themselves deeper inside of his pockets.

“I… don’t know.” He mumbled, and lifted his head to look at you, only you weren’t by his side anymore. You had stopped and you were looking at him with a hard expression on his face.

“Tsukki, why do you play?” He had no answer for you. He could only stare at you, eyes trained on yours as you stepped forward to stand in front of him.

“Are you scared?”

“Of what?” It was harsh, and he knew that. He didn’t mean it to be, but either way, you weren’t backing down.

“Hinata?” He laughed as if you had said the most ridiculous thing in the world, but you could see straight through it.

“You don’t think you can ever be as good as him, do you?” You knew you’d hit the nail straight on the head when he rolled his eyes, turning to continue walking off toward the cafeteria.

“You know what? Maybe you never will be as good as Hinata at attacking. But do you think he’ll ever be as good as you at defending.” He stopped once again, glancing over his shoulder at you.

“He attacks, you defend. That’s called teamwork, Tsukki. You’re good at defending, that’s why you’re a blocker. Everyone has their role. But Hinata can’t carry one attacking like he does it you can’t be bothered to improve. If you don’t get better, the other team will be able to score, and then you won’t be able to stay on the court and Hinata can’t attack at all. Karasuno will lose, and you’ll go back to being just the ‘flightless crows’ like you used to be. Do you want that Tsukki?”

“Of course not!” He turned to face you fully, stepping closer as if he was trying to intimidate you.

“Then get over it.” His eyes widened at your words; the same words that he had spoken to you only a few days earlier.

You were right. God, you were so right. And you even hit him with his own advice. You were really pushing his buttons today.

“Whatever.” Chucking to yourself, you knew that you’d managed to get your point across. It was satisfying, really, to shut him up like that.

“Do you think they’ll have any sushi?”

“Are you being serious right now?”

The two of you bickered the entire way to the cafeteria, and continued to do so as you both got your food and as you sat down at a table with him and Yamaguchi, completely unaware of the shocked glances that you were getting from the rest of the team.

For once this year, there was not a single thing you were worried about. You could play volleyball with a team of people that you were lucky enough to call your friends, and there was really nothing that could go wrong.

Finally, you were happy.

taglist: @tchalameme, @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire, @loreblackthorne, @lorentime, @influxencer​

[love-little-lotte]

15 Musical Theatre Duets That Make Me Believe In Love Again

Hi! This is a follow-up on my other list: 15 Musical Theatre Female Solos That Make Me Feel Things. This time, I’m going to talk about 15 musical theatre duets that make me believe in love again (obviously, as the title suggests). Love songs are beautiful and special, and I always love listening to them. You don’t even have to be in a relationship to really enjoy them. You just have to listen and feel the music and lyrics. 

Musical theatre love songs are a whole different story. I find them more meaningful because they’re part of a story. They help the story progress, as well as provide insight to the characters’ personality. And probably most importantly, these songs help make the audience understand the love these characters feel for each other. 

The following songs are my favorite romantic duets in musical theatre. Romantic duets are love songs sung by two people — usually, it’s sung when they profess their love for each other. I love them to bits, and I love how they made me feel. They’re also fun to sing along to! These songs are, in my opinion, incredibly romantic. They transcend me to a different place, and yes, they do make me believe in love again. Also, let me just remind you, that this is my personal list, so if you don’t agree, well then, you can always make a list of your own. 

(Disclaimer: I arranged these songs randomly to avoid favoritism, so this is not exactly a “ranking” list.)

1. Sun and Moon - Miss Saigon 

I was initially confused which song I would choose from Miss Saigon — this one or “The Last Night of the World.” I eventually chose this one because I liked the lyrics more. They’re so simple, but you can definitely feel the love between Kim and Chris with each word. 

This song is sung early on the show, where everything was going perfectly for the both of them. After spending the night, Kim and Chris fell in love unexpectedly while there is an ongoing war. He’s a soldier; she’s a prostitute. They come from a different world, but they found each other. It’s the perfect love song for them. 

Most memorable lyrics: How in the light of one night / Did we come so far?

2. Tonight - West Side Story

Just like Kim and Chris from Miss Saigon, Tony and Maria from West Side Story come from a different world. He’s a Jet; she’s a, well... Shark by relation? Anyway, this song is also an absolute favorite of mine. The music, the lyrics... are oh-so gorgeous. Even though they’ve only met one time prior to this song, they fell in love at first sight — and they fell hard. Both Tony and Maria were ready to risk their relationship with family and friends to be with each other.  

But before the story went into chaos, this song perfectly described the love they feel for each other. It’s a delightful song, and I love it to bits. I look forward to the day I sing this to a special someone who’s ready to defy everyone just to be with me!

Most memorable lyrics:  But here you are / And what was just a world is a star / Tonight

3. Ten Minutes Ago - Rodger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella

Ever wondered what it feels like to fall in love at first sight? Well, Ella and Prince Topher can tell you — or rather, sing it for you. This song is just as beautiful as the costumes of this Rodger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella production. Seriously, this is unrelated, but you really need to check out the costumes for this show. It’s to die for!

Anyway, this song is the first duet of Ella and Prince Topher. The music is soaring; the lyrics are romantic; and the choreography is memorable. This song is absolutely marvelous and perfectly encapsulates the feeling of falling in love at first sight (one of my favorite musical theatre tropes). Also, you need to check out the Tony Awards performance of this song! 

Most memorable lyrics: In the arms of my love I’m flying / Over mountain and meadow and glen

4. Take Me As I Am - Jekyll & Hyde

Unlike most of the songs in this list, I haven’t delved into this musical as much as I want to. Nevertheless, I fell in love with this gorgeous song. I have a weakness for sopranos, so of course, this song caught my attention. Christiane Noll, who played Emma in the OBC recording, sounded so, so heavenly. 

Through this song, I got to know Emma and Jekyll’s love for each other. They’re professing their love for each other, promising that they would be on each other’s side no matter what happens. It’s a song that teaches us acceptance and love really go together. Truly one of my favorite romantic song ever. 

Most memorable lyrics: And when despair / Tears me in two / Who can I turn to but you?

5. I’ll Cover You - Rent

This particular song is more carefree and upbeat compared to most of the songs in this list. But that doesn’t make it any less romantic. This song sung by my favorite couple in Rent is the absolute best. When all the other couples are fighting, Angel and Collins just continued loving each other and enjoying the little time they have. They are so sweet, and I totally love their relationship. And this song is a huge testament why. 

It’s a song that tells the audience that Angel and Collins just love being together and that they truly love one another. They were together through thick and thin, through Angel’s sickness until the very end. They weren’t kidding when they sang “I’ll be there and I’ll cover you.” And yes, the reprise version of this song is the definition of pain and sadness. 

Most memorable lyrics: But sweet kisses I’ve got to spare / I’ll be there and I’ll cover you

6. As Long As You’re Mine - Wicked

Whenever I listen to this song, I always describe it as “sensual and intimate.” This song may not be promiscuous or anything like that, but it’s so passionate and sexy in an innocent way. It’s a beautiful love song, and when performed right, truly make me fall in love. The lyrics are perfect for what Elphaba and Fiyero are going through, and the music is beyond catchy.

When they do release the movie version of Wicked — which is probably never at this point — I hope they cast actors who have amazing, off the roof chemistry. This song is one of my favorites, and I would love to see it done well on the big screen. Elphaba’s cheeky last line “For the first time, I feel... wicked” is probably my favorite line in the show. 

Most memorable lyrics: Borrow the moonlight / Until it is through / And know I’ll be here / Holding you / As long as you’re mine

7. Only Us - Dear Evan Hansen

One of the purest romantic songs ever. Though Evan may not be your ideal perfect guy, you can’t deny that this song is plain sweet. This duet between Evan and Zoe is cute and relatable — anyone who fell in love before can identify with the lyrics. And even though you’re not a fan of musical theatre, I’m pretty sure you’re still going to like this fan favorite.

This song is one of my favorite song in “new” musicals. It’s sung by teenagers in the show, but the lyrics and music are perfect to attract younger audiences. It’s a good song to sing along to, and probably a good dedication song for your significant other.

Most memorable lyrics: You and me / That’s all that we need it to be / And the rest of the world falls away

8. Seven Wonders - Catch Me If You Can

The first time I listened to the musical, I was in high school. I didn’t know it was based on a movie. I didn’t know who Frank Abagnale even is! The reason why I even cared about this musical is because of Aaron Tveit, which made me listen to the cast recording, then watch the movie (which is really good). I fell in love with this song the first moment I listened to it. It’s catchy and pure and beautiful. 

The duet is sung by Frank and Brenda in the musical. The lyrics (and Aaron Tveit) are probably the highlights of the song for me. It’s hilarious and, at the same time, really sweet. Imagine having a guy you like say that you couldn’t compare to all the beautiful places in the world because you’re perfect! And then imagine Aaron Tveit singing that to you. But seriously speaking, this song is goshdarn cute and romantic. 

Most memorable lyrics: I’ve been a lot of places / Yes, I’ve traveled near and far / But now I know that home is where you are

9. Happiness - Passion

This is the first song of the musical, and from there, I’m already in love. Giorgio and Clara’s song is simply enchanting. It tells the story of two people just being happy in each other’s arms. We don’t know who they are — as the musical only started — but we just know that they’re completely in love with each other, satisfied and contented.

Indeed, this is one of my favorite love songs ever. It’s warm, delightful, and deeply sensual. Giorgio and Clara’s love story may not be perfect (as we realize later on the show), but this song is perfect for their relationship in the beginning. 

Most memorable lyrics: Some say happiness / Comes and goes / Then this happiness / Is a kind of happiness / No one really knows

10. Say It Somehow - The Light in the Piazza

This musical has one of the best scores ever. It’s astonishingly pleasant to the ears. This particular song, on the other hand, is one of the best love songs I’ve ever heard. In this song, this is when Fabrizio (spoiler alert?) professes his love and proposes to Clara (a different one from the previously mentioned musical). 

Who does not want a declaration of love with a song like this? It’s everyone’s dream — or rather, my dream. It’s a gorgeous song with flawless music and lyrics. And I know you’re getting tired of hearing it but yes, this is one of my favorite songs.

Most memorable lyrics: Say it somehow / Anyway you can / You know me / You are good

11. Something to Believe In - Newsies

The first few notes of this song is already set to make me fall in love, and it succeeds. This love song is amazing and fun to sing along to. It’s catchy (especially the chorus) and above all, romantic. Jack and Katherine are not only friends, but they also know how to work together and that’s important in any relationship. 

Needless to say, this song is the perfect for the both of them. Jack and Katherine truly believed in each other. They’re one of my favorite couples in musicals, so I’m pretty happy that they got a really good song. It’s also one of those songs that you can play for your friends who don’t often listen to musicals. 

Most memorable lyrics: And if I’m gone tomorrow / What was ours still will be / I have something to believe in / Now that I know you believed in me

12. One Second and a Million Miles - The Bridges of Madison County

Honestly, I’m not sure if this is an “actual” love song, but what the hell, I love this song and I’m making the list so I’m going to include it. The entire musical is heartbreaking, but oh-so romantic and beautiful. The songs are exquisite and gorgeous, especially this big song in the second act wherein Robert tells Francesca to leave everything and run away with him. 

It’s a song of reassurance, that whatever the risks they’re going to take, it’s enough because they love one another and they’re going to be there for each other. It’s an incredible song and no matter how many times I listen to the cast recording, Kelli O’Hara and Steven Pasquale’s vocals give me chills every time. 

Most memorable lyrics: And you and I are just one second / Spinning by in just one second / You and I have just one second / And a million miles to go

13. All I Ask of You - The Phantom of the Opera

My. Favorite. Duet. Of. All. Time. I mean, I think most of my followers here are from the “Phandom” so you just know that I have to include a song from this musical. This song is the absolute best, which of course, truly made me believe in love again. It’s beautiful. Raoul and Christine’s relationship is the best, as the both of them love each other very much.

In this song, Raoul promises Christine to be there for her all the time no matter what. He promises his love for her and more. It’s a wonderful and romantic song that has been covered endless times by popular artists outside musical theatre (my favorite would’ve been Josh Groban and Kelly Clarkson’s version). And I swear, if I ever get married in the future, this will be the song that I would play on my first dance with my husband.

Most memorable lyrics: Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime / Say the word and I will follow you / Share each day with me, each night, each morning / Say you love me / You know I do

14. All I’ve Ever Known - Hadestown 

Anaïs Mitchell originally wanted this to be a solo for Eurydice, but I thank the gods everyday that she turned it into a duet. It’s my favorite song in the musical, and it’s absolutely wonderful. For a really long time, Eurydice was on her own and very independent. She didn’t trust anyone. But now, she was ready to open up and love Orpheus with all her heart. 

Furthermore, the choreography in this song is absolutely amazing. It showed the intimacy of Eurydice and Orpheus’ relationship through their dance. It went perfectly well along with the song as well! I love this song very much, and it’s on repeat. 

Most memorable lyrics: All I know is you’re someone I have always known / And I don’t even know you / Now I wanna hold you, hold you close / I don’t wanna ever have to let you go

15. I Have Dreamed - The King and I

Tuptim and Lun Tha are only supporting characters in their musical, but their songs are my absolute favorites. This and “We Kiss in a Shadow” are two of my favorite songs in the musical. Their songs, especially this one in particular, left a long-lasting impression to me. Even though I’m not in love, this song makes me feel like I am. 

My first version of this song is Lea Salonga and Peabo Bryon’s version (which you should really check out if you haven’t!) Their rendition of this song is super good — it’s like you’ve died and gone to heaven. The lyrics are amazing and perfectly written. To top it all of, this song is very romantic, and I love it so much. 

Most memorable lyrics: In these dreams, I’ve loved you so / That by now I think, I know / What it’s like to be loved by you / I will love being loved by you

_________________________

And that brings us to the end of this list. These 15 songs truly made me believe in love again, and I suggest you give them a listen! Who knows, maybe you’d like them as well. 

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Yes to Yuji wrecking Mahito! Just so much yes my boy needs to avenge those wrongfully killed!

See I wanted Geto to be on my shit list (as I'm not normally a bad guy lover) but I swear he wore me down reading the manga. Plus he's just so pretty he makes my brain all static noises 😳 Not to mention that backstory between him and Gojo like YES give me all the drama I need buried drama 🤩

Totally agree on the Mai thing. See I wanted to hate Todo too bc of well him beating on Megumi but the moment him and Yuji were just like "Big Dumb Meat Heads" together I threw that out the window! Those two together are *chefs kiss* Absolutely stupendous I never get tired of them 👌👌👌

Mai on the other hand is just crawling more and more under my skin. Like why you gotta be like that gurl? You wanna go in the crusty corner with Mahito? Cuz you gotta crusty attitude that needs fixing like yesterday 😐

Literary brain tells me it wants more drama/character growth between Megumi and Toji. But my useless overly big heart wants to punch Toji and protect Megumi at all costs bc he just showed up on the screen like the kool aid man and burst right into my heart and I shan't forgive Megumi for that but now I will die for him so ¯\_( ツ)_/¯

But I'm not the only one who lowkey fantasizes about self inserty type day dreams??? Like every day all day I got my thoughts flowing into 500 different lil oneshots I'm too chicken to post anywhere bc I havent written anything in a while and I feel I'm rusty. But your idea! YOUR IDEA WOO BOI- I'm not even a Gojo fanatic (like I adore him but my heart dick thudded elsewhere RIP) but that scene you described of straddling him just to rip his blindfold off in the heat of an arguement that's clearly deadly to either party- Just to see him on the brink of tears fighting back every emotion to slate his composure to cocky/uncaring. Only to have it obviously failing, and the metaphorical reality around you both crumbling along with Gojo's emotional state- Oh God I would read that crap outta something like that. It fills me with the angst and I thrive on it daily *heavy breathing* You should think about posting more of your original content too! Self inserty or not bc that sounds down right brilliant on so many levels

💛anon

Bro I can't help but feel had for Gojo. That shit must have hurted. Like he looked so calm and collected when it all happened but was he really? His best friend potential lover went feral and murdered an entire village AND his family then he tried to kill his first years once and now AGAIN what is happening. Did you see the look on Gojo's face when Yaga told him he went rogue? That was a face of hurt and betrayal he couldn't even begin to understand at the young age of... What was it, 17? 18? He was practically a little itty bitty baby compared to now. I haven't read the prequel yet don't laugh at me but I've heard it hurts so much worse having to face Getou back then AND now. Stupid brain worms, stop fucking around.

I wanted to hate Todo too hut before he even turned good I couldn't. I have a thing for big buff boys who have zero brains and too much brawns I'm looking at you Metal Bat, Captain Ōbi I just wanna adopt/marry them because in all reality they're trying their best. I'm really glad Todo exists and has his big brother delusion because honestly I think that's something Yuji needs, especially in the current arc. Yuji needs as much support as he can get.

PFFFT CRUST CORNER I cannot with you omg they do need to sit on the time out chair for s bit and think about what they've done lmaooo

DID YOU CALL TOJI ZENIN- FUSHIGURO THE FUCKING KOOL AID MAN AHAHAHHHSH oh my god i hate this so fucking much or were you calling Megumi the koolaid man bc really each one is absurd n e wayz I dunno bro I rlly can't wait until Megs wakes up post Shibuya arc and actually has time to process what the fuck happened to him back then. I really want to know if he can connect the dots by himself and realize holy shit that was the source of my daddy issues right there in the flesh and how he reacts to him being a curse and all that. There's so many ways that can go too it's scary to think about.

Low key unrelated but I have a theory that Gojo can see everything from his little cube prison and knows what's going on. Its probably because of the six eyes, or because he's just fucking Gojo, or even because Geto seems kinda sadistic and would do something like that. But I can imagine him watching Megs and Toji fight and it absolutely destroying him. For starters, Gojo killed him .... Right? Wtf is he doing back? What? Second don't commit suicide in front of your kid oh my god Toji what (I'm probably just salty because of a past experience, but also, calm down Toji oh my god) and third I can see it hurting Gojo because in a way it feels like he's been trying to protect Megumi. Its obvious Gojo has this attachment to Megumi, and maybe it's because they've known each other so long, but I don't think Gojo is prepared to deal with the aftermath. Does he have to tell him, if Megs doesn't put the pieces together? Will he have to knock some sense into him to actually tell him? Because he DID try to tell Megs once before and he avoided it like the plague. Its also gotta hurt when you feel like someone's dad and you witness them have a bad interaction with their other dad.

Throw in his daughter being on the brink of death, his other son being emotionally demolished, his second year kids lost in the void and not even his void, his best friend locked him in a box, his other best friend exploded, etc. I think Gojo I pretty distraught even if he doesn't show it

Bro okay my brain is riddled with ideas like this and 90% of them are always angst. Idk where tf they come from half the time but they exist and I hate it. They're always self inserts too.

So I actually read this ask last night, but due to personal reasons I didn't reply to it now, and I actually started experimenting writing out this scenario. I had to stop when I wrote the line "Approximately one year after the first finger was consumed, Itadori Yūji was formally executed. At three minutes to midnight, Sukuna Ryomen was expelled from his body, destroying the vessel along with it. The executioner was none other than the teenager's teacher and mentor Gojo Satoru. When Y/N awoke to this news, they attacked on sight."

Oh god I made myself so sad with that line

And i do really want to post some of my fics, like I did with Nobara Meeting Sukuna For The First Time. However, I only posted that because it was short and simple lmao it was basically just a meme I didn't even run it though grammarly like I do with the headcanons.

I like sticking to the headcanons as of right now because I feel like grammar didn't exist when I make those. I can spell things wrong and leave off punctuation and word then like I'm a third grader just learning English and no one will laugh lmao. Fanfics kinda stress me out because i want them to be perfect. I also have a hard time with fight scenes and transitioning and it's s mess.

I REALLY want to write out my Guardian Angel! Junpei AU because I think it's so cute. Just the idea that this boy is assigned to fight against fate and the higher ups and keep Yuji alive despite him being an idiot and a target is cute to me. Like I just canon him being the plantonic equivalent of in love with this boy and he feels like he rlly owes it to Yuji for trying to save him it's the LEAST he can do. Plus I need the mental imagine if Junpei annoying reader-chan into finding Yuji because "they play a pivotal role in Yuji's future" just for the "pivotal role" to literally be playing therapist and just being there for him and being a medium between Junpei and Yuji because guardian angels aren't allowed to reveal themselves to the person they're guarding but also/// he might risk his wings being stripped just to talk to Yuji one more time////

Okay I'm going to stop now

But yea, maybe if I have time and create little mini works like Nobara Meeting Sukuna For the First Time I'll def post them! I'll work on casually making them longer and soon I'll be confident to posts longer ones. But until then I hope just the headcanons at alright ;-;

[starstress]

MCC Aqua Axolotls Live Commentary!

Hello, as said, I will attempt to write down my thoughts and reactions during the MCC. 

Stream links!!

False: https://www.twitch.tv/falsesymmetry

Ren: https://www.twitch.tv/rendogtv

Grian (yes, he’s streaming): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjkgnEi4t9g

Pearl: https://www.twitch.tv/pearlescentmoon

Updates will come as edits, so be sure to check this again every once in a while if you’re interested or just curious! 

To all fans, please be kind to everyone, no matter the team or who you wish would win. You will only embarrass yourself if you harass others or act immaturely and will gain no brownie points with those you follow and watch.

For now, may the games begin and the best team win!

-

Edit 1: Peeps are running a bit late, apparently, Ren is the only one on the team with no aqua colour XD Grian recoloured the headband that Smajor had made for him last stream XD

Andddd, we’re kicking off!!

-

Edit 2: The gong makes an appearance!! Also, the story of the gong!! Grian had bought it as a gag for whenever he and Mumbo record! The team loves it!

Countdown has finally started!

-

Edit 3: The first game is Skyblockle(?)!! Team ain’t feeling too confident about it, but we’ll see! I think they’ll be okay at this. Gri is reading the instructions and getting nervous XD

From now, everything will be under the cut. Warning, it’s really long.

Oof, wood fell in the lava. They still have more :)) They’re sharing tasks pretty nicely, I have to say, but they keep changing plans. Things will heat up quickly, tho, and I’m glad this game is gonna be out of the way soon.

First death in Skyblockle for the Aqua Axolotls: False! Second: Grian!

Doom is on the horizon XD

Rip, Ren has died too, and Pearl has gotten a couple of kills!! 

And the Axolotls are out!

First gong after a game. Rn we’re all watching the other teams. Dream team is holding up well. Techno’s team is out too. Last bid!

Endgame: Pearl has won the most coins, team is a bit disappointing by last place.

-

Edit 4: They have the Uno Reserve card as they were the worst team. 

Game: Bingo but Fast!

Gri is reading the instructions again. Someone in Pearl’s stream is watching 25 streams holy dandelions.

The team is again sharing tasks. This is pretty speedy!

Hearing Gri lament how speedy it all is is so funny. Also, they’re all like headless chickens and a lot more disorganized now. Poor team.

Endgame: Ren’s sweating in unspeakable places lol, but they’re not last anymore!

Pearl’s game just crashed, oh goodness.She’s back in, wooo!

-

Edit 5: Game: Battle box!

Gri is going for the middle. Pearl got so many kills!

First round won!!

Second round lost!

Third round won!!

Ren’s having a hard time breathing, and I gotta say same! 4th place rn.

Game was paused to stop the animations of the NPCs and we got another gong! we chilling for a few mins lol.

WE’RE ON AGAINST THE DREAM TEAM. Aww, the game needs to be reset or smt. 

Oh wow, draw for every team. Fourth round was skipped.

Fifth round - uh SERVER CRASHED

Wowie, the map looks really strange without the resource pack.

First hiccup in 7 event, dang. 

Starting again. Resource pack might no re-appear again. And now I’m laggy, lol

Round 1: lost!

Round 2: won! Gri with the tnt :D

Round 3: lost! tnt did not work this time

Round 4: unknown due to lag, oof.

Round 5: lost

Round 6: unknown 

Round 7: unknown

Round 8: unknown

Round 9: unknown (prob lost)

Place: Last.

Everyone’s laggy, including me lol.

The viewers are being encouraging, which is really great and wholesome!

-

Edit 6: Game: Big Sales at Build Market!

Team is confident about this one, wooo!!

Grian ended up in plants lol. Ughhh, diorate. Communication is key, and it’s very well done!!

They’re building fast and getting resources pretty fast, that’s good.

Grian listing what they need is *chef kiss* False being alert is *hearteyes* and the chats are the real mvps 

Endgame: Place 7. It was pretty intense indeed.

Break time!

-

Edit 7: Audience takeover!! Pearl wants Rocket Spleef, so does Techno. Dream wants Hole in the Wall.

Game: Rocket Spleef!!

Grian’s reading instructions :))) 

This will be intense as all heck. Countdown has stopped, huh.

Oof, apparently it was supposed to be Hole in the Wall, but can’t change. Gri’s prob not gonna have as great of a time as I’d hopped :P

Round 1: Rainbow map, False is out! :o The very first time! Team’s out right before tnt time! Place 6, nice.

Round 2: Uhh, Atoms map?? Grian and Pearl are struggling. Pearl’s out! Gri’s out! Ren’s out! False’s still going.

Round 3: Grian’s finally got the rocket jump. Jump and then launch :D Or maybe not XD Tnt time! Pearl is waiting down at the bottom. She fell, oof. Grian’s having cramps in his hand and, in his words, he’s ‘a goner.’

Endgame: False’s the master of Rocket Spleef! And place 6! Team really enjoyed it, I’m so glad :D

-

Edit 8: Team’s hoping for Ace Race, and it looks like it might be!

Game: Ace Race!

Grian is narrating for all of us, nice! “This is totally Sonic!” he says!

“’Your first time will probably suck’. Yeah, that’s been happening about the entire time!” lmao

Omg, the map is so cool!! Def a fan favourite!! The entire team is having so much fun yesss

All of them are really doing good, Grian and False are placing good.

“Techno, get outta my way!!” -  Gri, and I have to say, mood.

Grian got place 15! Right behind Techno, nice!!

Pearl is 32!

Ren is 35?

False is somewhere behind Gri, but way before Pearl.

Endgame: Everyone had one heck of a time and now they’re trying to find out how to make it in Vanilla Minecraft XD

Place: 9 

-

Edit 9: They dunked the Lime Llamas XDD

Game: Sands of Time

Oof, this one’s gonna be a maker or a breaker.

Oh goodness, they have no one watching the time D:

They’re banking coins, thankfully. 

Oh no, Pearl!! Sand is needed. Grian to the rescue!

Phew, three sand left, thank you Pearl for topping up!!

Intense, gosh, i’m really nervous about the sand!!

Oof, Pearl’s stream froze. It ended, oh no. Actually, it might just be me that has enormous lag (not smt new lol). 

There we go, slow but it’s something.

The sand!! Aww man, right as Pearl got the sand!! They’re out! At least they banked a lot of their coins.

Endgame: We got a nice gong. Place: 5! Overall place: 9!

-

Edit 10: My wi-fi is beating me up with a stick, and it’s unrelenting. Lag is my life now.

Last game: Hole in the Wall

Ren’s gonna have a bad time XD

Round 1: Pearl’s fallen, from what my laggy video will show me. Gri as well. They’re out!

Round 2: Pearl’s still alive, woo!! Glitched right through one, so cool XD

Round 3: lag.

Endgame: Ren’s raging, Grian is really amused by that XD Nice game!! 

-

Edit 11:

Overall place: 9

Time for the final battle!! Gong! Ren wants the gong as stream sound effect :D

Green Guardians vs Orange Ocelots! 

Grian supports Techno bc Techno said he liked him lmao!! The others are Green. 

Also fun fact: Grian could coach a match of dodge ball!

Round 1: Green wins!

Round 2: Orange wins!! Techno’s taking them out!

Round 3: Orange wins!

Round 4: Orange wins!

Grian: “It’s like one of those anime moments!”

Round 5: Green wins!

(Gri went off holy heck)

Congrats to the Green Guardians!!  

- 

Last edit of the night!

That was extremely fun to watch!! The lag and my own wi-fi made it a bit irritating at times, esp since I had to split my focus, but it was pretty good nonetheless.

It’s really sad that the Championship itself lagged so much, I have a feeling it left both a lot of viewers and players feeling frustrated as well. 

However, the new mini game was lots of fun and I have a feeling we’ll be seeing it a lot in the future. I really hope we will.

The team was really good, they managed to coordinate very well, but like many groups who’ve just started working together for the first time, there were times where they could’ve slowed down a bit and reconsidered their plans. Still, the important bit was that they all had a great time together.

Overall, I really hope Grian and Pearl will participate again, even if not on the same teams. I also hope that there will be more Hermitcraft members joining in, even if only for one Championship. I had tons of fun writing this as well, but I think I’ll switch back to occasional posts about amusing things that happen during the games, as it really took a lot of my attention from the mcc itself.

Hope whoever kept up with me or reads this later enjoyed/enjoys this. I’m off to bed now, I’m sleepy and I’ll prob wake up, read through this, and find 10 million little mistakes that I’ll die over. Future me, I deeply apologize, but, uhhhh, no regrets!!

Starstress out!

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

6, 15, 42, 45, 57, 88, 89, 100

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

Summer! Duh! The season where I don’t have school or homework is AUTOMATICALLY the best.

15. Which do you prefer: a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

The forest. Who knows what kinds of magical/supernatural/paranormal things one could find there?

Library is a close second.

42. Ever had detention?

Yes.

45. What was the last book you read?

Blackbird House by Alice Hoffman. Okay, I didn’t read all of it, I’ve been doing this one like a few chapters at a time.

57. What would your dream house be like?

Oh, MAN. Okay, I could never decide on one aesthetic for it, whether old-castle/mansion-ish or regular-house-ish or regular-house-with-extra-like-ball-pits-and-swings-ish or cabin-in-the-woods-ish or WHAT, so I think it would be a weird mixture of everything, with different rooms having different styles. I know it would ideally be by a forest that could be full of magical/supernatural/paranormal stuff. Also, there would have to be window nooks, and staircases with railings I could slide down, and I also do like balconies and porches. I want secret passageways too ‘cause those are awesomesaucetastic! There’d have to be a library room, obviously. Maybe also a room that’s basically just one big sensory gym. And a room that’s just a giant McDonalds Playplace. I’d have to splash colorful fun painted designs on the walls in at least SOME of the rooms, definitely including my own. There could be a cozy attic space that would be one of the more cabin-in-the-woods style rooms. Some of the rooms would have to be still small and cozy, but there’d have to be some with plenty more space too, like the living room would have to be at least big enough for a dance party. Maybe there could be slides going between floors as well. Fence around the front yard painted in a rainbow and sprinkled with glitter. 

May add onto this later.

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

I don’t remember. Probably something about the dream I had. First thought unrelated to that was most likely a sentence of a broppy fic. Yes, that’s how bad it’s gotten.

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

I don’t even know if I CAN think of that many places I’d want to travel to honestly. Assuming we’re keeping it to this world and I can’t just say Fairyland or Neverland or any other (supposedly) fictional other world I could magically transport to.

But Gravity Falls is definitely a big one! That place could really exist in our world for all we know. It’s supposed to be somewhere in Oregon. Gimme that paranormal weirdness bro.

Apart from that, I might want to visit Greece again. Also haven’t visited family in California in a long, LONG time. And my family hasn’t been to Massachussets since my brother graduated college there but I did like going there. Also I saw a tumblr post once about a city somewhere I forget where they have these fun murals and other kinds of arts on the ground that only shows up when it’s wet, like when it rains, and I’d totally want to see that.

That’s only 5 but I can’t think of any others.

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

Honestly? Probably not. Actually, almost definitely not. I would be absolutely terrified. 

[subtextures]

Chromosome Damage

(a post-modern renga)

(draft 1--this is the complete 46 stanzas, I will remove the numbers (syllable counts) when I finalize the whole. I am looking for comments)

(23)

Lights break auras

As night deepens

The rain. The solstice

Grows closer through the dark;

Grim days shorten.

(28)

Half-way back

To summer’s long heat—

In afternoon hours,

It hurts to step

Outside as if someone

Near waits with knives.

(14)

Patient enough now

To watch all this unfold

Into spring.

(40)

Outside, another cold day:

Most of the leaves have fallen

From the sycamore outback;

Its white bark stands in contrast

To the stark grey sky. Beauty

Lives with our view.

(43)

Nietzsche said, among other things,

We experience only ourselves—

Even when I shift toward you,

It remains me who must see

The shadow which falls starkly

Between us on the floor.

(36)

If no one hears the Eliot allusion,

Does it make a sound?

Or should one pretend

A studied nonchalance

To carry one through the late afternoon?

(39)

Thus, an old ritual snickers

To a close, the porch lights

Turned on, the curtains

Drawn. I feel safe,

Less exposed, contained

With the pattern—

A spider moves toward motion.

(34)

We’ve woven our disparate dreams,

And become subsumed beneath the totality

Like ocean waves rolling upon themselves

Far from shore.

(28)

My anger sits at a distance,

It does not go away—

It whispers discontent

Like whip’s end striking wet flesh.

(41)

Ubiquitous as fear,

The air tightens

Without provocation.

Yet, still we sing,

Sing our song,

As if redemption

Can be gathered

Like bags of wet cotton

Blotched with blood.

(23)

I caught my breath,

And did not speak.

Is writing equivalent

To speech? I loved you,

In silence.

(42)

Self-doubt’s constant

Caterwauling echoes,

Like now— I mock

Attempts to quiet:

Hush, hush

Little baby hush—

All these scorpions

Are your own, each

Tail-strike skitters

Across skin.

(11)

Memory circles back to savage the corpse.

(42)

If only the dead would remain with the dead;

The past cannot so easily be revised—

I know what I desire to have happened;

Yet a mirror cannot be unbroken.

(12)

I can only see what

I think it is I see.

(4)

A lens warps light.

(38)

We are woven through our day

Despite our proclivities

Or desires. A thread’s easy

Enough to trace in retrospect

As being a part to a whole.

(31)

And here I am

Beneath a December moon

Waxing its way

Across a gray night.

Fate, or circumstance,

Is of no consequence.

(36)

He touches his forehead

To the damp ground

In a patterned response

To appease God’s chaos.

Here things are quiet;

Here one pretends

There is this center.

(6)

She waits, then dons her mask.

(7)

He scurries beneath the rain.

(41)

The sideways shift and snip

Clatters across the sand.

It’s easier to move out of the way—

Trouble passes, one remains

To proceed with plodding step

Along one’s path.

(3)

Time’s slow arc

(34)

All the variables led here

As inevitable as this morning’s

Sun striking the sycamore’s white

Bark; no god laughs as our choices.

(14)

A left, a right, a yes, a no:

Life’s crushed to binary.

(16)

I close an eye

To see the obvious

Connection: the moment.

(15)

I stumble step across a bridge

Swinging above a crevasse.

(21)

No saints guide us home,

Nor care how far we fall.

The emptiness opens

Like an aura.

(43)

This morning everyone sleeps in

As fog drifts between the trees

Near the creek and the gray sky.

The last brown leaf has fallen

From the sycamore; the solstice

Passed under a full moon.

(30)

Dusk and dawn, progressive

And simultaneous, flow through

The landscape. Yet, we think

Our futile actions have consequence.

(3)

I’m a lens.

(19)

Like you,

Light bends

Along each wave’s edge

Into separate

And singular parts.

(36)

I live on the periphery

Whispering songs

To the dry wind--

No bold flights

Of choirs or timpani rolls

To assuage the silence

Which surrounds me.

(15)

Edges, like borders,

Allow difference

A false consequence.

(5)

Mirrors are echoes.

(26)

Like Narcissus,

I see only

What I want

To see; like

A song wedged

In my ear,

A flower grows

Nearby.

(35)

Another flower flowers

As if it were made for you

Each flower flowers

From bud to petal fall

The flower flowers

With or without you

(35)

In action, the noun is

Verb without separation.

The sentence inscribed

In bone, slippery as blood

Along a knife’s edge,

Leaks into our veins.

(34)

The sun moves and spins;

The earth spins and rocks;

The galaxy twirls along

Its own circuitous dance.

Nothing stops. I am tired,

And wish to rest.

(45)

The creek behind our house has risen

As the rain has been unrelenting

For the last few days. Work begins

Again tomorrow; over time I’ve grown

Accustomed to the pervasive fear.

(36)

Each day leads to another;

As do such platitudes; thus

We humbly don our daily masks

As those we meet present their own,

Forever and ever.

(12)

Rituals bring comfort,

Like an old dog its bone.

(16)

I keep revising the past—

Hoping for a new denouement.

(32)

She unfolds the origami crane

Next to his bed, but does not

Write the note. Oblivious,

He cannot erase what is not there.

(40)

We make only one choice.

Possibility’s extant only

In possibility. The first

Motion’s desire, which

Collapses upon itself

Continually.

(1)

Choose

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream last night where it started off as some unrelated nightmare and then as soon as it got scary dr maddiman appeared and now it was all about him? Uhh, thanks madds! I wish i could learn how to do that on purpose, being able to summon your fave charries to save you from depression would be awesome!

The nightmare part was really damn weird, it was just my fear that if someone asks me to hold a baby i would mess up and drop it. So in this nightmare i did, and somehow its entire head splattered open like a jar of ravioli sauce IT WAS SO FUCKIN SCARY! and i was desperately running around the whole town asking anyone to call an ambulance but for some illogical reason they all said no, even though the mother was crying desperately over the baby clinging barely to the last shreds of life. IT WAS REALLY TENSE AND DISTURBING!! LIKE A WHOLE FUCKIN EYEBALL FELL OUT OF THE BABY’S HEAD how in the fuck even, it only fell like 30 centimetres onto some grass GAHHH im probably never gonna be able to hold a baby ever again.

So yeh I’m 90% sure that TRULY HORRIFIC nightmare was caused by the lack of sleep and general stress ive had over the last few weeks due to imminant moving house. BUT THANKFULLY SOMEHOW YOKAI WATCH SAVED ME

seriously it was so weird, one second i was in the whole scaryness and then suddenly it was the “nursing home for elderly yokai” and all previous plot was forgotten in favour of cute madds time. thank you whatever part of my subconcious is constantly occupied by my current viddygame obsession at all times!

the plot was apparantly that dr maddiman got sent to a nursing home against his will, and he was like ‘hello excuse me i know my family would not abandon me like i abandoned them, you are absolutely lying that they just dont want to visit me ALSO IM NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO BE HERE’ (cos well he’s an old dad but in yokai years he’s practically a newborn, right?) So his quest was to figure out how to escape this place and get back to his son, he was SUPER PANICKED that clifford would think he’d just abandoned him again. like this seemed to take place directly after some hypothetical yokai watch 4 quest where they actually reunite and started living together again, cos madds was having flashbacks to cliff hugging the turtle yokai and being all ‘im so happy i have little brothers’. But then literally the next day after that happy ending, madds just woke up trapped in this weird supernatural prison claiming to be a nursing home, so HEY YO WTF IS GOIN ON?

And the style of this dungeon was REALLY COOL! it was totally like a prison with nursing home themed decorations and stuff, and a bunch of comedic prison warden/nurse monsters who were SUPER BUFF and kept yelling stuff like ‘TIME FOR BINGO NIGHT’ *shoots giant bingo chips as weapons* or ‘TIME FOR A SPONGE BATH’ *bonks you with a sponge for 1 damage* *BONKS YOU WITH AN ENTIRE BATH FOR 999 DAMAGE* The biggest challenge however was gaslighting? like, every one of these clearly yokai nurses was all ‘oh everything is perfectly fine this is just a normal nursing home and you are totally human man’. So the gimmick for the dungeon was that all of madds’s powers were limited to only stuff he could do as a human, yet at the same time he still kept his yokai appearance and weaknesses like the big frankenheart. So it was an excuse for the gameplay to be similar to the main yokai watch series, you’d ‘catch’ other yokai to help fight for you. Madds had to find other patients trapped here and pull them out of the illusions to add more people to his party. And he was also kinda really damn badass?? Still fought with throwing his scalpels and making evil potions and stuff even though all his magic was sealed. Like “dude my ultimate move was already one of my inventions rather than an actual spell, youre really underestimating me.” And of course he had to get REAL SERIOUS because the love of his son was at stake!!!!!! But he was still the same funny doctor, there were a few good scenes of him struggling to get past physics based puzzles (it was like distortion world but with sofas?) cos he’s so short and fat. And i think one of the other old dads he could add to his party was that square journalist demon guy that ive seen in some fanart but i dunno what his name is? I recall he was sassing like “i thought fat dudes in overalls were supposed to be good at jumping”, and teasing madds by taking photos of him falling off stuff and threatening to post an article of his top 10 fails. But I also got the sense that it wasnt really cruelty but just an attempt to piss madds off so he wouldnt give up? like ‘nyaah nyahh come get me i’m up here’ and then he’d actually grab his hand and help him up if he reached him. Like he was actually very grateful to madds for saving him, cos he’d come to investigate the story of the evil nursing home and got trapped instead. But he was too tsundere to admit his gratefulness so he was just saying he hated him while also being super loyal and helping him fight? I dunno man this dream just randomly gave me the idea that they would be good quarrelsome yet cuddly friends!

Anyway, i couldnt recall all of the adventure after i woke up, but i think the ending was a boss fight against a clone of Hans Full? the villain behind the evil nursing home turned out to be dr nogut, who in my headcanons is maddiman’s dad so it was like an ironic punishment ‘you abandoned me so i’ll trap you in an illusion of your kids abandoning you’. ‘no dad i ran away cos you were an abusive prick, and it was your own damn fault you died in unrelated circumstances. ALSO YOU MISSED THE MEMO I ALREADY HAD FAMILY ABANDONMENT PLOTS’ (I think a way madds knew this was all an illusion is cos the details the nurses told him were missing everything that happened? Like ‘oh yes your family totally love you and nothing is wrong’, cos evil gramps just assumed his son had run off and had a perfectly perfect life that he was jealous of)

Anyway, nogut had made a bootleg knockoff of hans full and was like SEE HOW YOU FARE AGAINST YOUR OWN ULTIMATE CREATION (EXCEPT BETTER COS I MADE IT) And madds had some sort of badass one liner like ‘he wasnt just a weapon to me, he’s my son’. And him and his army of good dads managed to defeat Second Hans without killing it, to prove a point to jerkass dad about what true dadness is. It was a really bizzare way of winning, though! He suddenly broke the fourth wall and said “if i run far enough out of the loading area then the chasing AI will stop”, then blasted a hole in the wall and just set off running into the void of untextured scenery. i guess that could kinda work in-universe too, considering that this was an illusion dungeon? like maybe illusions just work that way, lol. So nogut’s big boss monster just was unable to move beyond the limits of the dungeon walls, but nogut himself was real so he could keep following them. Madds had to fuckin run a mile a minute to dodge flying knives from this dude, but pissing him off was exactly what he wanted! They ran so far into the void that nogut’s illusion dungeon ‘despawned’, and they were just stuck here. Like ‘if you want to get out, you have to uncast the spell and let all of us out!’ So he did, and then everyone was able to beat him up with their full powers and also madds’s son and all of his friends busted in thru the window halfway thru and joined in, it was basically maximum catharsis time! Also it turned out he was only using illusions to make his bootleg hans look bigger and tougher than the real thing, it was actually a pocket size wimpy version cos he sucks. So as well as rescuing madds they also adopted Second Hans and everything was super cute and even more family than before~!

so yeh a very good anti anxiety dream right after an anxiety dream, lol

[themjinterviews-blog]

48. Put your hands in the air and say hell yeah. Captain Jack! Johnny Depp!

What motivates you to do what you do? Sheer necessity, usually.

What was the weather like the last time you went out? Hot. It’s Arizona so it’s probably near 100 + sunny.

Do you go for walks often? I’m pretty lazy and try to avoid it. You sorta gotta trick me into walking, like take me to a big shopping mall or something so I inadvertently walk around it whilst shopping.

What color shirt are you wearing? Gray.

What is your favorite type of youtube video to watch? I don’t really watch any. I just use it to occasionally look up songs or to record snippets of stuff to remix songs.

Do you need any new clothes right now? I got plenty.

What’s the next project you are excited to start? I’m working on a nonsensical Adult Coloring Book featuring animals committing crimes.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Used to collect rocks and Pokémon cards. I suppose in a sense I collect all sorts of art/office supplies.

^and if not, what would you like to collect? Nothing really.

What was the last disappointing thing that happened to you? I don’t know. Suppose work being closed for renovation for 2 weeks kinda sucks because I sort of need cash.

What is something God has healed you of? I don’t really do the whole God/Religion rigamarole... Chances are if we are healed of something, there is a psychological, sociological biological or generally rational explanation.

Have you ever experienced a miracle? Like, a phenomenal coincidence? I think as much as I hate to be a downer, there's probably a lot to do with our perceptions of events

What was the last thing you ate? Lucky Charms.

Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? Well, Lucky Charms. I also love pizza rolls and chicken nuggets. But I’m not eating Gerber Peas&Carrot baby foods or anything crazy like that.

What was the last stupid thing you did? Define “stupid”? Most things I do are probably stupid to others but perfectly acceptable to me.

Do you get embarrassed easily? Sometimes.

Are you wearing pants or shorts right now? I never wear shorts.

What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Elliot (this is also my pick for a boy name), Tara, Hazel.

Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Ew. Fuck no. Honestly, adopting/fostering sounds way more my style anyway. To be totally frank, pregnancy sounds gross and being unable to take my adderall sounds awful. I’d gain like, a million pounds.

Do you like getting caught in the rain? It’s usually a refreshing break from the heat out here.

Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Messy, or in a side-pony.

What was the last craft project you completed?: Coloring books for my friends’ kid.

Name 3 youtubers you would like to meet in person: I don’t know any.

Has anyone ever spread an untrue rumor about you? Sociopath ex. Not sure he actually said them aloud to people other than myself, but I was constantly being accused of weird stuff I absolutely did not do.

What’s one rumor you’ve heard about yourself, and is it true? N/A. No idea. Not aware of any relevant or applicable rumors. I literally just keep to myself and do crafts.

What color are your nails painted currently? Not painted.

Do you use a pill box? Jesus, I’m not 80.

List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: it’s kind of generic to assume either of those things as permanent traits. But probably most flings or whatever. It always feels cold when one party loses interest.

Have you filmed a youtube video today? Never filmed one in my life.

Do you leave the house when you’re on your period? Um yes. Life doesn’t stop just because I have cramps.

^If not, why not? -

Have you ever felt threatened for your life? Yeah. Sociopath ex would get overtly paranoid and mistake harmless or unrelated things I did or said to be conspiracies against him. And occasionally my imaginary betrayals would lead to violent words or actions. Like, a bundle of index cards with Carrabba’s menu items and their ingredients, word for word, from the Carrabba’s menu, was somehow coded plots to who the fuck knows to have him killed. Irrational stuff like that.

What are you behind on? Student loans. And when I say behind, I really mean that I actively chose not to pay them.

Do you get enough sleep each night? No because night is my time to be productive, uninterrupted and without bothering anyone. I hate having to stop my thoughts just because other people are making noise or trying to converse with me.

Which did you like better: high school or college? Absolutely college.

Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? Probably last year or two.

…and why? Big personal transitions and revelations in my life philosophy.

What was the last store you shopped at? Walmart, most likely.

Do you have a favorite pharmacist? I used to back in NY. Her name was Evie. She wished a customer Happy Thanksgiving on Valentine’s Day accidentally once and it cracked me up and we had a running joke about it.

Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? I don’t shop frequently enough and I switch up stores when I do.

What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? Probably a toffee nut Frappuccino.

What’s something you discovered recently?

What makes you more creative? Emotional turbulence, certain drugs.

What’s the last magical thing you experienced? Um…Magical? The herd of unicorns crossing the I-10.

What is the theme of your bedroom? None. We are staying in a spare room at a friend’s. But we're actually moving this week because being micromanaged and constantly scrutinized was getting old.

Have you ever lived in a dorm? Yes, for a few years

Who is someone whom you admire, and why? I guess the lady at work, Amanda. She’s like 64 and works open-close every day, and still has a great attitude.

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? I don’t know. I test the waters every once in awhile.

Where would you like to travel to next? Nowhere crazy. Just back to New York for the Renaissance Faire.

If you could win three dream vacations to anywhere, where would you go? Portugal—New Zealand—Ireland.

Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? Camel. They’re fuzzy.

Are you a free spirit? I don’t know what that even constitutes. I think outside the box and I question social conformity and other preset patterns of thought. But I don’t know that has much to do with my spirit.

Do you want to lose weight? I think I’m okay for now.

Which insects scare you, if any? They don’t scare me, they just creep me out …spiders, centipedes, millipedes, roaches…ugh.

Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? It’s not like I think they’re going to murk me with a sawed off shot gun. I know they’re harmless and therefor not technically scary…but they’re still creepy and unsettling somehow.

Have you ever experienced paranoia? To some degree.

Have you ever hallucinated? Indeed.

Were you raised religious? We were raised Roman Catholic. Didn’t stick.

Have you ever been abused? Psychologically, emotionally, physically and sexually. #sociopathic ex.

Do you think the cops should do more about bullying? I think cops have enough shit to worry about as is and don’t know how effective extensive police interference would even be. I think the anti-bullying message is stronger when conveyed by people closer to kids like teachers, parents, siblings or a celebrity figure they idolize.

Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? I like them all about the same.

If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? Probably dye and highlights. Definite trim of my bangs.

If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? Absolutely not. I have little to no money now and I don’t even use *that* wisely.

Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? I don’t know many people to begin with.

List five careers that you’d like to have: Lawyer (like A.D.A. Barba!)...Graphic Designer...Psychologist...Self-Help writer...and oddly wouldn't mind being a waitress still.

List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: I genuinely do not have a bucket list. If I stumble upon something that seems cool, I do it. Making unrealistic lists won't help my quality of life very much.

Do you dream big? Quite the opposite. I sort of just fly by the seat of my pants. Weird expression. Can’t recall ever having very fixated dreams or visions for myself.

What was your first imaginary friend’s name? N/A

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Comet. <3

What was the first work uniform that you had to wear? Waitress uniform of sorts. I wanna say it was white button down and black pants.

Do you like to go barefoot? Usually. On some surfaces it’s intolerable and I hate the texture, though.

Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Pretty much.

Do you have a blog? You’re on it, buddy. This is a survey blog.

Do you have a youtube channel? What would I even post videos about?? I assure you, I do nothing that the general public would find entertaining.

[rockinlibrarian]

Three Survey Memes

@e_louise_bates tagged me once directly and twice indirectly (I mean, since I'm already typing something here I might as well do the others too), so here. Please feel free to comment! I like discussions!

Survey One (what I was actually tagged for): Name my top ten favorite characters from ten different fandoms.

I feel like the way this is phrased, I should pick ten fandoms first and then narrow them down to the characters, so that's what I did. It's an easier way to find my favorite characters, anyway.

1. From Harry Potter: Luna Lovegood, obviously

2. From Tolkien: Samwise Gamgee, obviously

3. From the MCU: Peggy Carter, most obviously of all

4. From Star Wars: This is a product of me picking fandoms first, and then discovering I don't have an OBVIOUSLY answer this time. But when you get right down to it, I've always had a special place in my heart for Obi Wan.

5. From Diana Wynne Jones: Sophie Hatter. Stealing one from Louise there, but again, obviously.

6. From L.M. Montgomery: Stealing the fandom from Louise that time, but I on the other hand have to stick with Anne Shirley, because she may top my fave character list, period.

7. From Jane Austen: Rev. Henry Tilney, NOT stealing from Louise because again, OBVIOUSLY, as she well knows, too. :D

8. From Discworld: DEATH. This was hard, because as soon as I started thinking of Discworld, so many MUST INCLUDES came up. Tiffany! DEATH's granddaughter, whose name I totally had a minute ago when I first thought of it but now has suddenly slipped my mind as I'm typing it (my brain now keeps trying to tell me it's "Karen" but that feels utterly wrong Her last name's Sto-Helit. I think. EDIT: SUSAN! Of course. The second I hit "post")! Sam Vimes, one of the other great Sams of fiction! But who's there and perfect and wonderful through all of it? DEATH. So I'm sticking with that.

9. Uh, other Marvel properties that aren't the MCU: I just have to shout out again to the Loudermilk twins from Legion. They count as one person because they sort of are, and because their chemistry together just MAKES them, even though they both individually are pretty fun, too (Cary's dorkiness and Kerry's innocent enthusiasm for beating people up). There was like a block of three or four episodes this season without them and it nearly ruined the whole season for me.

10. No particular fandom I'm aware of but no list of favorite characters is complete without: Blossom Culp. From the books by Richard Peck.

SURVEY TWO, a writing one:

1. When did you start writing and how? In first grade I had this dream about a disgruntled Santa's elf taking our church hostage on Christmas Eve. It was a great dream, so I decided to turn it into a book. Recently I decided to revisit it-- the basic plot, at least-- as a picture book. And for some stupid reason I decided it needed to be in verse. It might work some day.

Early on all my story ideas came from dreams, actually. Still today, my subconscious does most of my story-creating. Last night I had one about this huge family that lived in a mansion with a public pool in it and had all sorts of hijinks. They were great. They lived on Chalk Street and the oldest girl's boyfriend was named Granger the Ranger. Anyhoo.

2. What is your favorite line from your own work? It's got to be "Concentration leads to Meditation leads to Levitation leads to Aviation," because that's just a way of life.

I'm also partial to anything at all that Billy Boyd says in the Pipeweed Mafia Stories.

3. Who is your writing idol, and how have they influenced you? Hmm, I wouldn't call Madeleine L'Engle my writing idol, but she has influenced me the most, with her way of seeing the cosmic in the very small and the individual in the cosmic. And I named my daughter after her. But my Patron Saint of Writing whom I occasionally call on for intervention is Diana Wynne Jones. I don't know why. She just seems to be who I need to get my writing juices flowing.

4. Which oc has the best family (found or otherwise)? Of my characters? Hmm, I've never really focused much on family in my works. Even found family. I guess Billy 'Arrison's uncle IS George Harrison, so probably that.

5. Which oc has the most satisfying ending to their story? Ah, I'm terrible at endings. None of my characters has an ending to their story, not just because most of my works have never been finished, but because I keep thinking of things that happen to them later. NO ENDINGS.

6. If you’ve gotten feedback on your writing, who is your readers’ favorite character? If not who do you think readers will fall in love with? Well, no questions there. Billy 'Arrison. I mean look how often he's come up already in this survey. If you ask anybody whose ever read my work to name ANY of my original characters, they will go with Billy. Heck, people who HAVEN'T actually read his story would pick Billy.

7. Which tropes (eg. Friends to lovers, fake death, white haired pretty boy) do you always find yourself wanting to write? All my stories tend to have the theme of disparate people becoming friends through having an adventure together. I recently wondered if that's because I've always thought friendship would be easier if you could cut out all the small talk, and having an adventure leaves no time for small talk.

8. What goes through your head when writing a scene? The... scene? Also, random entirely unrelated stuff. Because I have ADHD. My brain is impossible to follow anywhere.

9. How specific is your idea of your characters’ appearance usually? Do you draw them? (If so can we see it?) Facial features are usually fairly foggy to me. I get general shape and color, so, like, what their hair looks like, their size, their race. I get their sense of style, too-- often I give them a signature item of clothing whether in my mind or in the text. I've drawn a few of my characters, yes, but I'm not particularly good at drawing consistently.

10. What are you proudest of as a writer? That I can occasionally look back at things I have written and be delighted by them as a reader. Unfortunately most of these things I have written continue to not be finished.

SURVEY THREE, also about writing:

1. How many works in progress do you currently have? That depends on your definition of "in progress." If you mean ACTUALLY IN PROGRESS, zero. Zip. Unless you count a couple of GeekMom articles I have in the planning stage. Or unless you count not-writing. I have a living room renovation in progress at the moment.

How many works do I have in an incomplete status that I plan to get back to eventually? Hmmm. At least five.

2. Do you/would you write fanfiction? I'm not INTO fanfiction but I do/have written a few pieces when they occur to me. There's of course the Pipeweed Mafia, which is a mix of Inklings fanfic and real people fanfic. You could count me writing George Harrison into Billy's background real people fic. One of my works in possible occasional progress is a Firefly fic about how Zoe fell in love with Wash. Oh, I should have put Firefly on my list of fandoms above, just so I could name Kaylee. KAYLEE, people. But I haven't written fic about her. Anyway. I also once wrote a very short prompt response X-Files fic that always delights me. It's silly, and yet in character.

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks? Paper.

4) When did you start writing? First grade.

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with? A few people. It depends on the type of work, who would be the best fit for it. Louise is in fact one.

6) Where is your favorite place to write? Someplace where I don't have real life demands calling on me. Oddly enough, I think I got some of my best writing done while working at the Children's Museum, during downtime. On slow days I'd write a scene on the back of my schedule. A page a day really adds up! Of course, on busy days that was unthinkable!

7) Favorite childhood book? Have I mentioned A Wrinkle In Time?

8) Writing for fun or publication? Depends on where I am in life. Now, it is for fun, unless it is an article.

9) Pen and paper or computer? First drafts pen and paper. Then putting it together on the computer.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes? Yeah, I had some writing courses in college, and I also took correspondence courses twice.

11) What inspires you to write? Ideas. As I mentioned, I get a lot of ideas from dreams. But there's also, like, a swelling of words in my brain that needs to come out through my hands every so often. I called it "writeritis" as a kid, and I guess I still do.

TAGGING: Whoever. You know who you are, if any of this resonates with you!

[yeonchi]

Kisekae Insights #25: The last of Hiroki’s prototypes

Originally, I wasn’t planning on making an instalment of Kisekae Insights this month because I was planning on building a new PC, but then I suddenly got depressed because of stuff and that had to be put on hold, so I decided to write a couple more instalments. At the same time, I’m planning on ending the second run of Kisekae Insights after the next instalment to make way for the Doctor Who Series 13 reviews and also to focus on the last leg of my personal project. 9 instalments in 6 months isn’t bad compared to 16 in the first run, but that’s probably because a few instalments were filler and I have a job now so I don’t have as much time to work on new content. It will take me some time to prepare content for the third run (when I eventually get around to it), but I promise that we’ll go straight into the big stuff, namely My Little Pony, Gokaiger, Decade and Soulbound. I said back in #17 that I would hopefully cover it this year, but obviously things have changed.

Most of Hiroki’s prototypes that I’ve covered up to this point are OCs of animes that have had a significant influence on my personal project; this is not necessarily the case for the remaining ones, particularly because a couple of them are totally original characters. Let’s dive right in and cover the last of Hiroki’s prototypes.

Please note that there is a content warning for family/domestic violence and suicide.

Richard Yang: The First Prototype

Remember back in #6 when I said that Kyōko Izumi is the “Genesis Prototype”? Richard is the “first prototype” because chronologically, he is the first of Hiroki’s prototypes.

Bodyguards and Assassins (十月圍城), not to be mistaken for the namesake movie, is a series I created (or rather, conceptualised because I never really wrote out the series fully) in 2010 as a late-night drama on my totally real TV network after all the simulcasts of TVB dramas were done for the evening (we’ve really come far over the years). Richard Yang wasn’t written as Hiroki’s prototype until 2013 because I didn’t have that plot point back then.

In the drama, Richard is basically an explorer who has adventures. His style name is Samlin because at one point, he became sworn siblings with several other people who either resembled or were characters from Fifi and the Flowertots or Angelina Ballerina, one of them being Ms Mimi, who is like the elder sister or something. His timeline probably got cancelled out by the time he came onto Doctor Who.

Four series of Bodyguards and Assassins were made between 2010 and 2013. The second series involved Richard meeting his old primary school friends or something, the third series involved characters from K-On and the fourth series involved Richard meeting (a reincarnated version) of Yuri Nakamura from Angel Beats, who would go on to become his girlfriend. Richard began being featured on Doctor Who in 2012 with the Kikuchi Arc in Series 4 (he doesn’t do much in it though), but his origin wouldn’t be covered until the year after for the 50th Anniversary.

Speaking of Angel Beats, the series’ main characters, Kanade Tachibana and Yuzuru Otonashi, were also the Doctor’s companions for a few episodes at the end of Series 1 and 2 and the entirety of Series 3 and 4, making numerous reappearances over the years. Aside from Yuri, other characters from Angel Beats were also featured, but not given much focus.

In 2001, Hiroki was with his parents at Madame Tussaud’s in Hong Kong (the actual one, not the other one that we usually use to refer to Melbourne). While his father was trying to take a photo of his wife and son with the wax figures of The Beatles, Hiroki was too busy playing with George Harrison’s hair (I don’t exactly know which one is which so I might be wrong, like that matters anyway), causing him to be distracted. His mother slapped him, causing him to cry and regenerate into Richard. While Hiroki’s real body materialised later, he managed to swap places with Richard so that no one would get suspicious.

Following his birth, the 4-year-old Richard ended up living at an orphanage before he fell back in time to 1998 and ended up in Nagoya with no memories of his past. He was discovered by a local orphanage, but after no one adopted him for a period of three years, he was adopted by one of the female workers.

An unexpected invasion from the Oda Army in 2004 caused Richard to be separated from his adoptive mother. He was found by the Tongmenghui, who decided to take him in, considering his situation. Taking on the name Richard Yang, he became the leader of the Tongmenghui and led children in a rebellion against their parents. This would be known as the Dinghai-Wuzi Revolution of 2007.

Following the end of the Revolution, Richard started studying Geography and Teaching at Tokyo University, eventually becoming a professor there by 2012. He also began working as a casual relief teacher at Camembert Academy and as a tutor in the Chipping Cheddar area, where he eventually decided to settle down with Yuri.

When the Superhero Project was being developed in 2017, Richard moved to Auckland and became the commander of the Superhero Project for UNIT NZ, tasked with looking after the Shinkengers and Go-Busters. After the Superhero Project was decommissioned in 2019 (Soulbound Series 3), Richard was recalled from UNIT NZ and sent to Minato-Sugaru Island to help investigate a minus energy phenomenon, going undercover as a teacher at Canterlot High School. He returned to his normal UNIT duties the year after, during which the Superhero Project was recommissioned.

Zhuge Qiao: Successor of the Guardians’ legacy

(Morina created on Chibi Maker by gen8)

Like with Richard, Zhuge Qiao is another character who was just introduced out of the blue and given an origin story later, the main difference being that Zhuge Qiao’s introduction and origin story was entirely contained within the main Doctor Who series instead of being introduced in a totally unrelated series. She did get a spinoff series though.

Shugo Chara, the series which Zhuge Qiao was created for, was featured in the project in 2012 and 2013. Aside from Zhuge Qiao, the Doctor, Parker, Hiroki and Akari received (multiple) Guardian Characters, but they were relegated to the dollhouse (or Hakushi’s mini-TARDIS) soon after their debut and written out some time after (with the exception of four who were travelling in Hakushi’s mini-TARDIS). The reason why Heart’s Eggs exist is because of a morphic field in the city that caused people to develop them in their hearts. The morphic field would later evolve to the point where visitors to the city could develop Heart’s Eggs and hatch Guardian Characters reflecting their personalities if their emotions were strong enough. However, Heart’s Eggs developed in this manner would disappear from the visitors’ hearts within days of leaving the city and even if a Guardian Character were to hatch from it, they wouldn’t last very long without the companionship of other Guardian Characters.

In 2005, Hiroki went to Honnōji in Kyoto to evade his former lovers, Kimia and Tiffany, who had joined forces and formed the Kurayami Alliance in an effort to assassinate him. He was then forced to commit suicide, resulting in him regenerating into a female prototype, who would come to be known as Zhuge Qiao. Before you ask, yes, she is named after the Three Kingdoms figure of the same name, just as Parker was named after Zhuge Liang.

Zhuge Qiao was brought back to UNIT HQ, where she said a brief farewell to Hiroki before heading off to travel the world on her own, eventually going on to fight in the Parallax War as well. In the final days of the Parallax War, she was attacked by a group of X-Egg influenced humans in Handan on Popei Island and was saved by Amu Hinamori, who she became good friends with. After the Parallax War ended, she would go on to gain a Guardian Character named Morina and establish Torchwood North, an organisation for Guardians to continue their duties even after graduating from Seiyo Academy. Although her Character Change has not been shown in the stories I’ve written, Zhuge Qiao can Character Transform into Beautiful Dream, wielding the Marigold Saber Sword.

During her time in Torchwood North, Zhuge Qiao assisted the Guardians in protecting humanity, though she did slip away from Popei Island to help wherever she was needed. She also planned on making a system that would allow the Guardians to transform at will, but it was unfinished when the Daleks invaded Handan (during the events surrounding the Battle of Koshi Castle as covered in #15) and Amu and the Guardians sacrificed themselves to repel the fleet, resulting in them and their Guardian Characters being transported to the Road of Stars. Taking the remaining four Guardian Characters into consideration (because they had been travelling with Hakushi in his mini-TARDIS), Zhuge Qiao perfected her system into a belt named the Shugo Belt (similar to the Den-O Belt) and became Kamen Rider Shugo, an original Rider replacing Kamen Riders Den-O (because who needs the Den-Liner when we have the TARDIS) and Kiva (because I didn’t want to find a way around the Fangire requirement).

Sword Form – Morina (Zhuge Qiao’s Guardian Character) Analogous to Den-O Sword Form and Kiva Kiva Form, Shugo Sword Form utilises the Marigold Saber Sword (similar to the Momotarosword) as a carryover from Beautiful Dream. This form’s finisher is the Extreme Slash.

Brush Form – Miki (Amu Hinamori’s Guardian Character) Analogous to Den-O Rod Form and Kiva Garulu Form, Shugo Brush Form utilises the Canvas Brush Revolver as a giant brush to attack with brush strokes or blobs of ink (similar to Amu as Amulet Spade or Ma Dai’s moveset in Dynasty Warriors 7 and 8). This form’s finisher is the Solid Attack followed by the Open Heart Kick.

Sonic Form – Hakushi (The Doctor’s Guardian Character) Analogous to Den-O Ax Form and Kiva Dogga Form, Shugo Sonic Form utilises the Sonic Hammer (similar to the Dogga Hammer) for powerful short-range attacks. The Sonic Hammer also incorporates technology used in sonic screwdrivers to disrupt enemies at a medium range. This form’s finisher is the Dynamic Smash.

Gun Form – Mubo (Parker’s Guardian Character) Analogous to Den-O Gun Form and Kiva Basshaa Form, Shugo Gun Form utilises the Magnum Revolver (similar to the Ryuvolver) for powerful attacks at any range, however this form’s marksmanship may not be the best at times as Mubo represents Parker’s recklessness.

Climax Form Analogous to Den-O Climax Form and Kiva DoGaBaKi Form, Shugo Climax Form is activated with the K-Chara phone attached on the Shugo Belt. This final form combines the powers of all four Guardian Characters and though it is technically able to use all four aforementioned weapons, Shugo mainly uses the Marigold Saber Sword out of preference. This form’s finishers are the same as that of Den-O Climax Form, namely the Boisterous Kick/Punch/Shout/Slash.

Decade’s Final Form Ride card for Shugo summons the Guardian Sword (similar to the Evil-Crushing Hundred-Beast Sword from Gaoranger), allowing him to perform the Decade Guardian Slash together with Shugo. I had thought about using or modifying it and giving Shugo an “actual” final form stronger than Climax Form, but I decided not to.

Hayato Kisaichi: The Forgotten Prototype

There have been two special cases where one of Hiroki’s incarnations have gone on to become their own prototypes. One of them was Momoka Mizutani, Hiroki’s only female incarnation influenced by Walpurgisnacht, and the other is Hayato Kisaichi, aka the Ice King, an initially forgotten incarnation similar to the War Doctor. I should point out that due to the nature of his regeneration, this incarnation did not use up a pocket of regeneration energy; you’ll find out why soon.

Hayato’s design is modelled off a genderbent version of Elsa from Frozen. He was introduced in the opening two-parter of Series 9, which was released in August 2014, the same time as the BBC Series 8. After that, he was shelved until the 5115 Specials in November of that year.

(Genderbent Elsa art, the basis for Hayato Kisaichi/the Ice King. Art by juhaihai and Awen Ng)

After Zhuge Qiao was found and taken back to UNIT HQ, Hiroki’s next incarnation manifested naked where he fell before he stood up and metamorphosed his residual regeneration energy into ice, allowing him to become the Ice King and build Nijō Castle out of ice. He then built a machine and sent a signal for assistance, which was answered by the Nestene Consciousness, the Ice Warriors and the Weeping Angels.

Though they were not summoned by the signal, the Doctor, Hiroki and his companions from 2014 also came to 2005 in an effort to secure the foundations of Nijō Castle before it falls apart in fifteen years due to it being made out of regeneration energy. During their adventure, they joined forces with the Ice King and helped him and his army fight off the Kurayami Alliance at nearby Yamazaki, but Tiffany and Kimia manage to slip past them and head for Nijō Castle, leading to them having to head back.

Back at Nijō Castle, the Ice King ambushes the Kurayami Alliance with the Weeping Angels, who can move outside of their quantum lock due to them being under the Ice King’s control. Despite this, however, the Kurayami Alliance manage to set Nijō Castle on fire and the Ice King is killed by Kimia after a battle with Tiffany. The Ice King’s ice powers change back into regeneration energy, allowing the past Hiroki to regenerate into his next incarnation without using another regeneration in the process.

The Ice King remanifested himself as a prototype under Nijō Castle, where he laid in hibernation for the next nine years along with his army. Hiroki would begin reawakening the Ice King later during “the Day of Retribution”, but he never got to unleash him or his army. However, Hiroki did summon the Ice King and his army in Heaven when he and the Doctor confront God for rapturing millions of people. They later joined the big battle in Yokohama alongside the angels.

After the battle ended and Girl Power was defeated thanks to the intervention of Jesus Christ, the Ice King was left in the care of UNIT. He was given the name Hayato Kisaichi and offered a job in the canteen at UNIT HQ, allowing him to find a new purpose in life. Later in 2018, Hayato joined UNIT NZ and became Blue Buster. Despite no longer being the Ice King, I like to think that Hayato maintained some level of it (even if only a little). I didn’t put the Go-Busters’ weaknesses into consideration when writing Gokaiger, but I suppose that Hayato could have a tendency to overheat and go out of control, like in the Sentai.

In 2019, Hayato joined the Arima Group on invitation from its CEO, Teppei Arima, and became the development director of its subsidiary, Arima Property Development, helping develop regional towns and bringing more people to them (oh my god, he’s a developer, he works in real estate now lol). For a time, he also became the temporary host of Ultraman Dyna. The year after, he was called back to rejoin the Go-Busters.

I also like to think that Hayato befriended his teammate, Yui Ichii of the Data Processing Club, but I never showed any relationship between them because given his origin, I wanted him to stand out and be more independent instead of being reliant on intimate relationships.

(more genderbent Elsa art from an unknown artist – if anyone knows the source please feel free to contact me)

Terry Mizukoshi: The Parallel Prototype

Unlike every other prototype introduced in my personal project, Terry is unique in that he was spawned from a parallel universe counterpart of Hiroki, which was shown during his debut in 2012’s Series 4. When circumstances led him to the Doctor’s universe, he became a part of the Zhuge family like everyone else.

In a parallel universe named Destination One, Hiroki was being forcefully wed to Hideko Kimihara (a girl with Asperger syndrome that he didn’t love) thanks to the machinations of his high school friends and the Kikuchi Clan from the Doctor’s universe (Girl Power from the Doctor’s universe were pulling some strings behind the scenes as well). When the Fifth Doctor, the Eleventh Doctor (from another universe), Doctor Whooves, the Pony Doctor and their companions intervene, a battle ensues and the Kikuchi Clan lead the Doctor and his allies into Popei Castle, which is a trap that scatters everyone to different places where they confront different enemies.

While the Hiroki from Destination One doesn’t confront an enemy per se, he does see two of his crushes (one of them being Akari) with their boyfriends, causing him to regenerate as his heart breaks. Terry was the resulting prototype while the Destination One Hiroki just manifested somewhere else (namely in front of the Fifth Doctor when he came back with Hiroki and the others from 2014). After the battle ended, Terry was taken to Destination Two, where he took the place of a Hiroki who was being forcefully wed to another girl (not Hideko). The Hiroki of Destination Two would take the place of Destination One Hiroki before presumably making his way back to his own universe. As for Destination Three Hiroki, he got married to the Akari of his universe with no dramas. Gee, it’s almost as if I put in characters that ended up doing nothing at all in the story.

After a while, Terry left his wife to find his own happiness. Upon seeing the stars in his universe going out, he stole a dimension cannon (presumably from the Torchwood there) and transported to the Doctor’s universe to warn him of what was going on, but he forgot about it. Instead, he joined the Doctor in preventing the Daleks from invading Equestria, which resulted in even more chaos as the Cybermen and Sontarans were also involved. During this adventure, he met Saki Mizukoshi and her friends, who had ended up in Equestria through the use of an enchanted rock in Shimoda, Shizuoka. Following the adventure, Terry decided to stay with Saki, having found his one true love. He also decided to change his last name to Mizukoshi for “naturalisation purposes” (as if that isn’t creepy at all).

When Saki and her family moved to Hachijō-jima, Terry stayed in Tokyo to complete his schooling while occasionally visiting his girlfriend on the island. He also began working at a ramen restaurant in an effort to support both Saki and himself in the years to come. By 2019, Terry and Saki got married while the latter was studying for her doctor’s degree. In fact, at the time of writing this instalment, Saki would still be studying right now. I can’t imagine it would be easy given the coronavirus pandemic (not that medical school would be easy for anyone in the first place).

Marco Wong: The Dual-Wielding Prince

When I was writing Block 6 of the 50th Anniversary Series in 2013, I had to find a way to use up all of Hiroki’s regenerations so that I could get that out of the way (in preparation for the Next Gen Series). Marco is one of the prototypes that was created as a result. I’ll explain the circumstances behind his regeneration later.

The Doctor had visited the Magical Kingdom of Parris Island (named after the military base of the same name in South Carolina) and somehow ended up in an arranged marriage to the queen’s daughter, Pixel Maritan. After discovering the existence of Marco’s prototype, he was whisked off to Parris Island in order to take the Doctor’s place, leading him to become the prince of Parris Island. Soon after, Marco and Maritan joined the Doctor as they took part in the Battle of Koshi Castle and teamed up with the Fourth Doctor to investigate Momoka Mizutani and find Hiroki.

In the four years after that, Marco trained himself to be an elite swordsman, specialising in a dual-wielding technique that could equal the likes of the legendary Musashi Miyamoto. At the same time, he also became the commander of Parris Island’s military before stepping down and joining the Gokaigers when he was selected to become GokaiBlue. Although he spends a lot of time with the Gokaigers, I like to think he maintains contact with Maritan now and again even though I haven’t emphasised their relationship.

Yamato/Daichi/Nagi Kurosawa: The Spun-off Prototypes

I was going to put images of them in but I won’t bother because they’re so insignificant. In Block 6, I introduced Yamato, Daichi and Nagi Kurosawa with the intent of spinning them off into the anime Say I Love You, but like I said, I forgot about them because they were insignificant. I kind of regret this decision now, but that was because at the time, I had intended on ending my personal project after the 50th Anniversary Series. Some time after, I decided to commission the Next Gen Series and it all just went from there.

In Block 6 of the 50th Anniversary Series, all the Doctors, their companions and some others (including Hiroki and Parker) were gathered at Roald Dahl Plass in Cardiff to help UNIT and Torchwood investigate numerous anomalies, but they were suddenly scattered to different places. Hiroki and Akari confronted the ghosts of Hiroki’s past, future and present (in that order) before suddenly ending up at the former’s house, where his parents forcibly separate the couple, throwing Akari out the back door and locking Hiroki in a secret room that they found in his bedroom.

Hiroki regenerates into Yamato Kurosawa before he blows up the kitchen and takes his archetype self outside to be reunited with Akari. Yamato heads to Yokohama and manages to teleport himself away somewhere (probably interfering in other peoples’ stories) before ending up in Cardiff again.

Parker decides to head to the Voidstation, a building that links every universe in the Void to each other. Hiroki and Akari decide to head there as well and with the power of their Guardian Characters, they rescue Parker and bring him back to Earth. Because of the power overdrive, Hiroki regenerated three times and spawned three prototypes, namely Daichi, Nagi and Marco Wong (see above). After returning to Earth, Yamato was sent away to live with Daichi and Nagi and they were never seen again.

Well, not quite. Yamato did return in Soulbound Series 3 for a tribute to Say I Love You. Becoming the temporary host of Astra, Yamato helped Hikaru Tomokaze fight Doragory, one of Yapool’s Terrible-Monsters, while also training him on Ultraman Leo’s Space Martial Arts in an effort to help Hikaru rely less on his weapons and beams (because Ultramen didn’t have flashy, collectible-centric items and weapons back in the day). At the end of the episode, Yamato gives Astra’s Spark Doll to Hikaru before leaving (for his own universe) with his wife, Mei and son, Ken.

With this, all of Hiroki’s prototypes have been covered. While Hiroki’s prototypes act as the representatives of the different series incorporated in my personal project (before being homogenised as Power Rangers or Kamen Riders), they also have distinct characteristics of their own even though they’re essentially self-inserts and extensions to other self-inserts.

[catholicismabusedestiny]

What Happened...

12.01.1999

 Up until the age of 10 or 11, after the last child was born (and about the same time where my father came to deeply resent my “responsibility for the kids” – which was beat into me for as far back as I can remember); however, once it threatened his role or, more precisely once I started to get a voice, my father did a 180 degree turn and anything I did around the house or with the kids was not likely to get me in trouble.

I’ve spent a life-time being disappointed about various issues pertaining to my family; however, none has been as painful as the adult relationships (or lack thereof) I have with my siblings; therefore, this has been one of the top three topics discussed over 26 years of therapy and I think it’s finally coming into focus thanks to my Minister, Therapist and two close friends.

To begin with, my father’s verbal and emotional abuse is not disputed; it’s to what extent and how it was carried out which appears to be the issue people differ on.  As stated, those first 10, 11 years were the hardest of their marriage and on one another; they were untrained, ill-prepared and almost desperate at times and it was something open discussed about by relative and friends – particularly after one of many crisis’s (i.e. 6 births, the house fire, Dad’s accident, the accident the day Patty was born etc.,).  Dad would refer to that time as his “Irish luck” but, suffice it to say, those first 12 years were the most difficult for them.

During these difficult times –  before my Dad had to be cognizant of who was around and where he was before going off on me – Dad did a lot of yelling and even more criticizing.  It was during these years when he developed and began trying out his many phrases he had for me.  His unrelenting criticism and disappointment of me was not new and was widely known within the family and beyond.  Therefore, in getting back to whether he loved me unconditionally during that time I’d have to say “No, he didn’t show me unconditional love during my early childhood”.  

As a result, to those that were horrified by what I said earlier, the only thing I can say is that “you don’t know what you’re talking about!”  Moreover, his total lack of respect for me was not only felt but was picked up by all of my siblings; they all knew from the time they could walk and talk that Dad disliked Mike, makes fun of Mike and disrespects Mike; therefore, they, in turn, also disrespected me and it’s only grown worse and has even been passed down to the next generation who will not return a message from me.  They were unconscious taught to believe the things Dad said of me; then, by my mid-20’s while in therapy, I confronted my parents on the abuse and came out of the closet.

From the time I engaged in those activities, the abuse factor transferred from Dad to Mom who disapproved of everything I did or said.  Although, it was the confronting them on the abuse that she got stuck on; she knew that I knew (or remembered) those early years when all of the physical and verbal abuse was followed by screams from me wanting my Mother.  While she still blamed me for what went on, she knew that if I repeated this info to others outside the family that it would negatively reflect on her and that’s not something she could tolerate.

In fact, I think it’s that very point as to why she wanted me to visit more often, as well as all the pressure she put on me to move back to Chicago.  More to the point, however, she constantly criticized me (jobs, where I lived, what I did etc.,) and never-ever wanted to hear anything I had to say (I was not to speak with I visited UNLESS it was about kids or marriage).  She so resented me that anything she said about me was done with heavy doses of disapproval, accusations I was lying, and a consistent tone that I was not accepted, respected or approved.  

With me being gone for all of those decades, there was never anyone to comment on her accusations or to stick up for me; thus, everything was said and taken as gospel.  Ironic too that the entire reason why I stayed away (as well as all of those times when I was actually in Chicago but didn’t go home because my Mother refused to allow me to bring anyone with me when I’d visit; and, when I did visit, there were strict instructions about what I could and couldn’t say.  

Yet, each Sunday night, after I listened to 20 minutes about babies and weddings, she’d give me shit for not visiting more often AGAIN!  Finally, I obviously had to be more direct with her so I said “Mom, you wonder why I don’t visit more often or why I won’t move back and, the truth of the matter is it’s you Mom…  you refuse to allow me to bring my bf with me and then you get mad if/when anyone asks me a direct question about my volunteer work, the AID’s epidemic, gay rights etc., etc.,  So, if my significant other is banned/not welcomed and I’m prevented from talking about my passions and all of the good things I’m doing for the cause of AID’s than why would I even want to attend?”

It’s as though my Mother wants me to be present but she doesn’t want me; she wants me at 19 or 20 – before I came out.  “I cannot flip-on or flip-off my life just because you don’t like it…”   Moreover, because of this dichotomy between who I am and what my Mother wants me to be, I return home from these visits and fall into a deep depression knowing that I’m not accepted (or respected) for who I am. My friends are well acquainted with the depths of those depression episodes after I visit Chicago and, thus, will give me a few days to myself when I return but, after that, they go all out to force me out of that state of funk.

It wasn’t all that long ago when someone referred to the unconditional love one receives from their father and I stated that I was “unsure” about that; you’d thought I said “Kill All The Babies!”  Immediately, my sister and her husband became extremely upset with me and, as such, I became quite irritated with them.

I’m unsure what “con” was played on them while I was gone for 30 years but, one thing is certain:

Ø  None of them were around for the first 7 – 8 years of my life; therefore, they have absolutely no idea what took place. Accordingly, I deeply resent anyone telling me what I relive in my bed on a daily basis is not true.

Ø  Yes, I did carry around a lot of guilt for decades that Dad’s temper, behavior and his anger ridden tirades were - in some way - my fault (as both of my parents attempted to allege which, in and of itself, every therapist states is abuse).  Furthermore, over the years, Therapists have continually stated that I was not responsible for Dad’s behavior or conduct in any way, shape of form.

§  All of this changed permanently, however, on January 12, 2012 when Uncle Chuck asked me “How was your childhood?” That pandora’s box opened up a whole host of bad things that my father had done to me before I was 18 months old.

§  It was further shaped by the very odd or weird things some of Mom and Dad’s life-long friends and extended family members said to me as I became the point person for the dissemination of information re: My Parents Health.

·         As they became more comfortable with me – especially since most of them hadn’t spoken to me in decades; and, overtime, I heard things such as: “it’s so good you’re here for your parents now given some of the things that happened in the past...”  OR “your Dad was so hard on you growing up; I’m so glad to see that you’re doing well and that you and your father have resolved things…”  OR “Mike, I’m proud of you, you’ve been able to put the past behind you and are now working to help your parents…   given some of the things that occurred, that’s quite impressive…”

·         What I came to realize (or actually remember), any neighbors we had on either Quincy or Thurlow would have (and did) hear, listen and witness things that they’ve not forgotten.  I knew that in the summer, with the windows open, that neighbors 10’ away would have heard the loud arguments and much more since my blue bedroom (where most of the physical and verbal abuse took place) was < 10’ from our neighbor to the North on Quincy.  On Thurlow, when I was older and learned to always sit near an entrance, I would run outside every time Dad would blow up so his verbal abuse from across the street was legendary.  Each time he’d throw me out, disown me and tell the world that I was not his son and that I was just a huge embarrassment that he was ashamed of, was all done outside where everyone around heard and listened.  Moreover, Dad’s favorite put-downs and “phrases” such as “you’re worthless and will never amount to anything” were (at least during those first 10 – 12 years when we were on Quincy) said to me at any time and anywhere; it didn’t matter is cousins or Aunt and Uncles were around; although, after about 12 years (or about the time we moved to Thurlow), Mom had been influential in getting Dad to stop saying certain things about the kids outside of our immediate family, thus, he was coached on how bad his behavior reflected upon him and he became more cognizant of who was present when he’d go off.

Ø  Therefore, between my bad dreams, my memories, those repressed memories retrieved via hypnosis, countless therapist opinions, my Minister (actually two of those), dozens of self-help books and self-actualization seminars/workshops/courses on being your best and being yourself and more than 3,000 diary entries, I believe I know who I am and I remain very disappointed that my siblings cannot see how their everyday actions of excluding me, not showing me respect and accusing me of lying are all actions intended to provide cover for Mom and Dad’s conduct and behavior.

§  What they don’t see is that I don’t blame out parents; however, they’d have to go through my writings to understand why I believe that’s true and that my actual intent for talking about any of these things is not only to seek truth and knowledge but to break down barriers, demonstrate how much of what went on was handed down from the previous generation and that the ONLY thing I want to ensure is that the dysfunctional, negative, critical and homophobic attitudes DO NOT get handed down to my nieces and nephews.  Mom would ask “why do you bring that up?”  “Mom, I bring it up because no one has brought it up previously, thus, it becomes engrained and passed down to the next generation.  I DO NOT WANT ANY NIECE OR NEPHEW TO GO THROUGH EVEN SOME OF WHAT I DID; I WANT THEM TO FEEL BUILT-UP, NOT TORN DOWN!!