#and also Asha finally fucking got me

[sadaveniren]

.

[your-ne1ghbor]

Asha design reference I think idk (TKORAT AU)

She kinda reminds me of young Amaya unironically lol

(probably bc Amaya gave Asha her old clothes 💀💀💀)

(Or that I was playing with my style again for the millionth time)

I FORGOT HER FUCKING FRECKLES NOOOOOOOOO

Also been thinking about changing her sidekick animal to smth different but idk what tbh 🐀

HEheh ofc I had to draw silly angst and moment together

For her dress, Im not even done with it. I wanna add patterns that represents her and the kingdom but idk how to execute it outfit wise atm. Plus, I wanna fix some problems I have with the dress, mainly the middle and top part as well since it really reminds me of FS! Asha and I dont really want that and wasn't trying to go for that 😭

The hair was pretty fun ngl. I got to see a ton of styles in box braids and they're all really pretty :D. I simply went for the pulled back box braids since I thought it fit her well design wise.

The crown was the easiest. I was just simply looking at crowns from medieval times and I kinda got reminded of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, And the Wardrobe. Specifically the ending where the kids got their crowns.

I felt like it just fit her design wise. But that probs just me being a sucker for flower crowns right now smh ��‍♀️

Going back to the dress, I was heavily looking up Spain Outfits from medieval times including some other ones, like the French outfits for example, mainly as inspriation for the outfit so I can come up with my own design of a dress for Asha :D

The rest of the dress kinda came from my pencil, I was just sketching until the design looked right to me and then was like: YES haha

I did look at her early concept version's of Asha as well, but it was only for her hair, since it is always the hair I have trouble with

(plus this is one of my fav styles I see Asha in from the art book lol)

Idk if this will be her ACTUAL FINAL design, but ig it is a part of the process of my overthinking :')

Annnnnndddd ofc thinking how I am gonna traumatize her in her childhood. Hell yeah...

...

:(

[signed-sapphire]

The Fallen Star ✨

A Wish rewrite

Cielo design 💛

The boy is here! The most ever! The Fallen Star’s very own Starboy!

So I lied and don’t have the finalized designs for King Maggie or Queen Ams yet soooooo *throws confetti at you* take this Starboy reimagining in the meantime!

Eugh boy the name gave me trouble. I didn’t want to use Aster since that’s the name of a a couple popular Starboys already (@annymation/@gracebeth3604/ @mythartist21) and while the Greek name is cool, I wanted something a bit different.

SEE-EH-LO, for anyone wondering. He/they pronouns <3

I was heavily considering choosing Estrella and making Starboy a Stargirl, and then we’d have a gay romance. But this is supposed to be SOMEWHAT of a homage to early Disney. This may not be KoW, but… idk. Cielo is a gender neutral name. Literal manifestation of light. Go ahead and draw them as a female-presenting figure and it’s still TFS!canon~

Aaaaaaanyways. Here’s the actual rewrite!

First of all! Cielo is NOT the Northern Star! He’s a baby star like… in the bottom right

However, the Northern Star? Evangeline? Yeah, she’s gonna be in my rewrite

But Cielo is NOT her

For now I’ll just say Evangeline is sort of a mentor-figure to Cielo and leave it at that

So not all stars are wishing stars, and similar to Kingdom of Wishes, a wishing star is born when first wished upon

Once a wishing star fulfills their first wish, they become Stars (capital S), and are free to help anyone that needs it

The more wishes a Star fulfills, the more powerful they become

Idk maybe it’s like a Rise of the Guardians thing, where the more people that believe, the stronger your magic is

Sparkles and hope and glitter and shit

Until, as explained in my rewrite… the Stars grew bored and started simply granting wishes

Then people grew lazy and started demanding wishes

And all this belief made the Stars go overpowered

Basically it became Wonderland, everything coming true, kingdoms burning and villages destroyed

Yeah. So Magnus god rid of them eventually

Though who would suspect that it would be the king’s own daughter that would bring back his greatest fear?

Yep, Asha brought Cielo down

Not purposely, but even if she had done it purposely, she wouldn’t have chosen Cielo

He’s a little baby, a dwarf star maybe

Only ever gotten one wish in his life…

Huh never seen that before *side eyes KoW*

Personality traits

Optimistic

Very Anna-coded

Probably ADHD tbh (autism x adhd duo unite)

Stubborn

HE’S the quirky Disney princess

Although more Flynn than Raps

Backstory

Fuck around and find out

(And by fuck around I mean wait for my rewrite to come out bc I haven’t slept in two days and I’m too tired to articulate their story accurately)

Design

Due to popular demand, Cielo now has the Charlie Morningstar cheek thingies

Also @gracebethartacc got an ask about canon!Star being marketed with a star over their right eye so… vitiligo mark, anyone?

Yeah I don’t have many colored refs but basically Cielo’s star eye mark and cheek thingies turn into vitiligo marks when in their “human form”

Uh take this

Ye sort of like this^

Heart shaped face! His part is also supposed to resemble a “V” shape to make the top of the heart

My sister said they looked like Viva and I’m crying but too late to take it back

I guess they’re both Spanish? Ajdjajhsjajajs

Thin slutty waist. Imagine Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel bc Jeremy Jordan is Yes.

Like I’m obsessed with that wet cat of a character I’m thinking about Cielo’s voice being Jeremy

Although his younger VA days as like Varian would better suit Cielo…

ANYWAYS

Design by @mythartist21 save for the Trolls hair and cheek thingies! Those were my additions

Uhhh pointy ears, poofy sleeves

Idk is the star eye mark AND the cheek thingies too busy? Lmk and I’ll try to post a colored ref of that helps

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

HATE when people explain the fear in Magnifico’s face as the wishes leave him and are set free. It’s not ‘oh no my powers lost 🥺’ it’s an ‘oh god what am I doing? Fuck I’m hurting people, I didn’t mean to, make it stop.’ It’s not a villain being defeated it’s closer to a moment of clarity, similar to one someone suffering from addiction may have. When you’re doing it you can’t think of the consequences, all you know is this feels good and you don’t want that to stop. But then the effects wear off and you realise people are upset and hurting and it’s your fault and you want either to stop or to get back on it so you forget what you’re doing, that’s why he reaches for the wishes, not to grab them and control them but because when he doesn’t have them he’s faced with something he’s forced to deal with alone that he can’t handle.

Sorry for the rant but I really find the comparison between addiction and what Magnifico goes through interesting, and it riles me up because he’s treated like a villain when all he needs is help and the stigma facing addiction means those suffering from it can’t get help and fall further into their problem. Magnifico defender for life 💙🩵🤍

YES! I mean, the fact that you can see the exact moment the hold of the possession is broken ... like ... do you see the green claws holding the wishes but they leave anyway? And the second the "demon" is kicked out of Mags, his face immediately shifts to pure panic and confusion?

Look at this poor baby!! Those haters claiming what you mentioned above is insane!!! What are they so mad at him for??

I have seen and heard multiple times now, that people compare Magnifico's sitution to an addiction. While I do agree on some points, I got to say, that Magnifico wasn't addicted. In his case, he was heavily traumatized from his childhood and the fear that came from it forced him to the book, because he panicked. He didn't even want to use the book! And then, he got possessed by that evil entity and controlled like a puppet. No way did that feel good. That demon in him was throwing a party because he was like "Yes! Finally a vessel I can control to kill, steal and destroy! I won!" No sir! I can't imagine how Magnifico must have suffered in his own body, suppressed by that entity! Not to scare anyone but I've seen demons manifest in people and that shit ain't a drug high, that is torture!

Makes it a 100 times worse that the people of Rosas including Amaya, Asha etc. Turned on him with the snap of a finger. He was only a source for a favor for them all. And the fact no one had an idea that he was possessed isn't an excuse for them either. They didn't care for him. And even those who might have realized something is wrong, stayed silent!!! And watched. Their king, who constantly gave and gave and gave, went out of his ways to help his people the best way possible, made a life of luxury possible for them, needed their help desperately and they turned away!

Also, what do these haters think paying no rent or taxes means?? 99% of the time, money was the one thing that brought a person status and power. Other kings sat on their gold like greedy dragons, while Magnifico doesn't give a flying fart for money. If he did, he would have taken taxes like any other king and let the people pay rent! The people of Rosas had to pay for nothing!!

He was simply too good for them all! That ungrateful, greedy, ignorant, compassionless, egoistical, entiteled, selfish bunch of hypocrites!

And yes, you are not alone with your anger! We defenders are all in this together! 💙✨️

[rascalentertainments]

Okay first of all I’d like to apologize for not sending this in sooner, because I went to finally clear all the tabs from my computer and realized I??? Didn’t press the “ask” button to actually submit these questions??? But here they are, late but I hope they still work!

(If you’ve answered some of these before, feel free to skip them)

What were the symptoms of Asha’s father’s death?

Was Sakina pessimistic after her husband’s death as well?

Will Asha’s wish be turned into a wish orb?

Asha is 18 in this rewrite, so if she stayed in Rosas, would she give up her wish?

Did Sakina give up her wish? Or did she refuse?

What about Sabino?

Does Valentino have a separate design, or are you sticking with the concept art you showed?

What wish gets destroyed for Star to realize that Rosas is actually kind of fucked up?

Are you changing around the order of any songs?

How old are the seven teens in this rewrite?

How is Star’s stand-off with Amaya different than one with Magnifico?

Who taught Amaya magic?

They created wish magic, you say? Do they know that taking a wish robs people of their drive?

When did Amaya adopt Sabor?

Would Sabor ever warm up to Magnifico?

If the traitor isn’t who we think it is, then it’s probably not Simon. Can you give us any clues?

Sneak peak!

No Star before has ever changed into a human before? Why is Star the first?

How old is Star if he hasn’t got a name for himself yet?

Are you adding anyone new other than Flazino?

Bazeema x Safi, you say? Are you thinking of any other ships?

Will you be making a poster for Wish Granted?

How are you showing the songs in your rewrite?

Is anyone dying in your rewrite?

Would you consider this more of a rewrite or an AU? Like, could this be a Disney movie, or more of taking the concepts and turning it into your own thing?

Hope you enjoy!

OH MY GOD, THERE'S SO MANY QUESTIONS, SAPH! 😂 Let's get started!

Similar to Simon, he started to feel more lethargic as years went on, but he usually powered through it like Sabino. However, something else took his life, which lead to the rest of the family fleeing Rosas. That's a gonna,be a big reveal on what happens to him!

At first she was, but Sabino convinced her not become bitter, because it would set a bad example for Asha growing up. Unfortunately it happened anyway, but not because of an influence. So Sakina does the best she can for the family and Hamlet by making clothes for others that need it. Its the closest she can get to her dream.

Both yes and no. 😆 Asha does indeed have a wish and Magnifico does try to take it from Asha as a bargaining chip. However, he's gonna find out that he can't exactly do that. "wink wink"

If it meant her family would be safe, then she begrudgingly would. She would want to find a way to get her own wish back along with everyone else's and now be on a time limit because she could start feeling the symptoms at any given time.

Sakina originally did, but she regretted it after she found out what happened to her husband. She's glad that they ran away before Asha was old enough to give her's away.

Same for Sabino. He had the wish since was a boy and thought the king was finally going to grant it, only to find out years later he had no intention of doing so.

Valentino does have a separate design! He has a similar outfit and horns like the piece of concept art I used, but his face and fur color will be different. Canon!Valentino's face is unsettling...

Flazino's wish gets destroyed, along with a woman who's implied to also know about the Hamlet. Star ends up finding the wishes at one point, and he can feel their joy, hope and dreams. So once those two wishes were crushed, he felt the pain they felt. It reminded him of feeling so alone in space. That's when he fully understands Mags is a monster that must be stopped.

Not really. Its easier for me, lol. The most extra I'm doing is putting "A Wish Worth Making" near the end to close out the movie. And "Knowing What I Know Now" will be used after the traitor is revealed and that same traitor will end up joining the rebellion instead. There MAYBE a villain song added though! (Not TITTIG, I can't save that one)

They're all about nearly year apart from each other, since they looked different ages in the movie. So in order, Simon and Dhalia are 18, Dario and Hal are 17, Safi and Bazeema are 16, and Gabo is 15.

While Star's stand off with Mags is more about their power differences and how they few wishes/humans, Amaya knows how to get into Star's head. Amaya basically tells him he can't be human, ever. She's very good at using her words amps weapons when she doesn't have magic, so her other tactic is to convince Star even if he stays on Earth, he could never be good enough for Asha, always being viewed as something inhuman. (Think of that scene from Shrek 2 with the Fairy Godmother) It REALLY gets to him and starts to question himself of what he even is anymore.

Much like Magnifico, she was self taught! And by combing their magic, they grew in power!

Absolutely, that benefits them in fact. If the wisher loses drive, they lose motive to do anything else, including having any desire to stop them and their plans.

Back when the couple was traveling the world and before they reached Rosas. When they arrived in the country, Amaya found him alone in the forest as a cub and took him. He was a lost animal that needed to be raised and grow into a beautiful yet dangerous animal like he was meant to be.

.....A little bit, when Sabor is actually thanked for finding the true traitor and he gets to eat Mouse!Star, he does start to see he's not all bad.

You're right, its actually a different character, BUT I CAN'T GIVE SPOILERS! I want to, honestly cause its such a big part I'm excited to show! The hint is its another teen, so that leaves 6 other suspects. OR it could be somebody from the Hamlet! 😯

Here's one from Chapter 5:

18. No other star nomad has had a desire to visit Earth. They enjoy it as a tourist attraction and not much else. Star is the first one that we know of that has had the desire to actually GO to Earth. Him and his cousins, lol.

19. He turned 18 a month before the story starts, but he's never really decided on a name. There's just so Mich variety to choose from that he's indecisive.😂

20. Aside from giving the Rosas citizens and Hamlet people some personalities, the cast stays the same. That way it won't feel over crowded.

21. Possibly Flazino x Dhalia. Though it might end up being one-sided. It could change though! 😉

22. YES!!!! I WANT TO SO BADLY!! It will most likely be for when the story us half way through and with Chapter 5 still being written, we're only 1/3 in. But I already have ideas for one! 😁

23. I'll make a separate postings for them featuring the rewritten lyrics, instrumental backgrounds and possibly some art! 😉 Each song will help the story along, just like the first three did! The one I'm really trying hard to remake is "Knowing What I Know Now" cause it was the closest to sounding the best.

24. Now that's a secret! 🤐

25. A bit of both! Its basically how I would've written a Disney movie, so its leans towards more rewrite.

Wow, thanks so much for these MANY great questions, @wings-of-sapphire!! Sorry it took me so long, it was a lot to answer this time! I appreciate you writing these out though! 😁 (I'll tag your other channel just in case @signed-sapphire)

[ihrtmichael]

random question, but, what's your favorite thing about wish? i have a feeling it's probably magnifico lol but if it is then why do you like him so much? asking because i know i reblog a lot of stuff about the concept art and the rewrites people do, since personally i find it pretty compelling and fun, but i also think it's neat that there are people who just genuinely enjoy the movie as it is! and it really must be frustrating for you that the tag is filled with what's basically a fandom centered on wish's concept art more than wish itself.

LMFAOOOOOO i feel attacked with the magnífico read!!!! /j

honestly i accept that the movie isn’t perfect and was rushed as fuck, but i had such a fun time! i think asha is so lovely and refreshing compared to the other (few) disney heroines of color. as much as i love esmeralda and jasmine they’re so oversexualized and fall into that stereotype of “fiery outspoken brown woman” which is 😬😬😬😬 to watch sometimes as a woman of color myself. it’s nice to see a young black heroine be clumsy and fun and learn to be a leader! and ofc magnífico is so funny and hellooooo it’s chris pine!!!! also he’s hot sorry likeeeee 🤭 i also find his story very compelling although i do concede his villain arc was slightly rushed lol. i would love to learn more about him and queen amaya! i also love the songs (esp “at all costs”) and animation (the rendering is beautiful!). while i understand that the final product was a bit underwhelming for what was built up as this huge 100 year disney celebration, i don’t think a movie needs to be outstanding to speak to you or make you feel happy. sometimes you just like what you like! and i had fun! ☺️

i definitely do wonder what could have been if the actors and writers strikes didn’t happen, because i think that may have messed with any final alterations they might have made before release that could answer all of my questions and make the story clearer. i used to be intrigued by the rewrites but now they just kind of annoy me because most of them are being written by people who haven’t even seen the damn movie and/or people who aren’t creating these rewrites from a place of love.

for example, during the fall i rewrote the hunchback of notre dame musical script out of a genuine love for the story and characters because i was so frustrated with peter parnell’s approach. and it shows in my version of the script. but with the wish rewrites, a lot of them come off as disingenuous and egotistical like this “im so much smarter than literal film professionals” bullshit (sorry if that’s harsh lol).

and a lot of the criticisms just aren’t constructive and seem to mostly come from people who have literally no idea what it takes to create something. like especially with the ai accusations??? full offense but most of yall wouldn’t know the difference between ai and real human art if it slapped you in the face. and it seems like a scapegoat to get out of providing ACTUAL constructive criticism of the film instead of people just admitting they’re blindly jumping onto the latest hate bandwagon lmfao.

it definitely is frustrating to go through the tags and see more conversation around the concept art than the actual final product we got, but i just pass out the blocks like candy and add certain tags to my blacklist and that clears things up very quickly lmfao.

thank you for the kind ask! i feel like most people come in guns blazing asking about why people liked wish lmfao, but your ask is very sweet and genuine. i hope you have a great night mamita!!!

[pickypickypeak]

thoughts on wish. (spoilers below)

just a nice, harmless, old-fashioned disney movie. not disney's best by far, but far far FAR from bad

animation was good. full stop

the soundtrack. julia michaels is an amazing songwriter and I feel like her style gives this movie soundtrack a very unique vibe among disney classics. maybe she went just a little too pop-ish in some parts that required more broadway styled tunes and lyrics

loved the introduction with the classic disney book

some critic said the disney easter eggs and references were distracting or like,, they were trying to cover up a bad plot with easter eggs for fanservice. well not true lol. I don’t consider bambi’s mom blink and miss cameo as fanservice I consider it childhood trauma coming back. where’s the fanservice in it

people from all over the world coming to rosas. liked that

“welcome to rosas” was okay I just wonder if she does this for any person coming to rosas. like. like it’s a job? she’s getting paid?

asha is a nice character, despite falling a bit under the "adorkable" main girl stereotype. I still feel like she's well characterized, she is stubborn, selfless and will do anything for her family. stan

valentino's not annoying as you'd think

asha's friends are so cool please I love them all so much HOWEVER some of their lines felt a little flat?? they could have been WAY more fun easily I just wish they had more screen time

gabo is wasted potential you can't tell me otherwise

dahlia was literally nerfed you know that

I love that they picked simon to be the depressed one (he’s meant to represent sleepy from seven dwarfs)

bazeema randomly disappearing because she's an introvert she's so right we do that sometimes

I've seen people complaining about disney being politically correct (as always...) for finally making a movie with a classic villain and then making him redeemable, well he's not?? movie ends up bad for him just like with old villains?? this is literally what we’ve been asking for, a villain who is just a villain. king magnifico has motivations of course but still does bad things and gets punishment for that. classic old school disney villain. don’t know what you want

queen amaya, my love whom I owe my life, marry me

“at all costs” listen. this felt a little out of place. that’s because they apparently changed the context to the song. it was supposed to be a love duet between asha and a scrapped human version of star who was like. a jack frost-y character who fell in love with asha. in the final movie, asha and magnifico are singing to the wishes. it still kinda works, but I really wish we got to see the other way round. looks like they really didn’t want to go full classic love story route, but it’s a shame. I’m sure that would have been beautiful and very very disney. the demo version sung by julia michaels and benjamin rice gives you a glimpse of what might have been and it’s just so good, you should really listen to it

actually listen to all the song demos

that one lady screaming in the crowd I forgot her name but shout out to her

asha's family was there

her grandfather turning 100 just like disney and wishing to inspire people and then composing when you wish upon a star after the credits?? so what??? this man is disney???? wtf????? crying

“this wish” bop. next

star’s not annoying as you’d think

the animals were cute john the bear my beloved also the mushrooms please

“I’m a star” actually empowered me okay!!! you know what that squirrel is fucking right we are fucking stars!!!!

“thank you for not eating me john” “you’re welcome bambi” that was wild

breakdancing chickens and it didn’t feel cringe. a miracle perhaps

asha’s friends are so normal about star

simon being sad about making star sad… certified good guy

did I mention I wish we got more of asha’s friends

anyway why does star only grant the animals’ wishes. why do all animals just wish they can talk human

I'm thinking screaming lady's name was sania maybe??

“this is the thanks I get?!” is the perfect song for magnifico. way more in character than “at all costs”

magnifico coming to asha’s house was scary

asha really can swim is she also moana or smth

simon betraying her broke me. never trusting a himbo again

“knowing what I know now” instant bop. please all of them singing together about magnifico being a bastard? queen amaya suddenly entering the room and the music stops and they all just stand there like oh man we fucked up? and then the queen just slams the door and bursts into singing about her husband being a bastard too?? that gave me major chills like yeah girl leave him take me instead

asha and wands: a love story

the bunnies please

“this wish (reprise)” they really defeated the villain with the power of friendship AND by singing this is the most disney movie to ever disney

queen amaya becoming the single queen she deserves to be you go girl (but I'll still have her if she wants me)

simon my man we forgive you you were depressed. it’s not your fault

asha becoming a fairy godmother is actually kind of cool

"oh so you wanna fly? nice. meet peter pan" honey you say it so casually

A BIT SALTY ABOUT THE ENDING. it's not bad but that would have been WAY more emotional if they let us see asha say goodbye to star. especially because they say it's gonna happen soon, so what's the point in not showing us?? asha and star hugging and crying and then star flying up to the sky. asha looking up at the stars, smiling with tears in her eyes and then the camera moves up to the sky and star has become THE star like the one in pinocchio and princess and the frog. all of this with the "this wish" instrumental. that was a perfect way to wrap it!! also oh my gosh imagine asha saying goodbye to star boy!!! ç_ç

the credits with various characters were a nice touch but why on sweet planet earth did they put yokai as a representative of big hero 6

the credits song, "a wish worth making" just... exists. the lyrics though. they hit hard

I really stayed until the end of the credits just to watch 3 seconds of sabino playing music

final verdict: was ALL the hate for this movie deserved? hell no maybe you should just remember you’re a star and relax

[byakurenbreak]

Why I ship Matt Miller and Asha Odekar together (Saints Row 4)

This may get long, so bear with me.

Well, for starters, they’re canon. Multiple quotes from SR4 portray them as being romantically (and/or sexually) involved. Examples;

Matt: “I don’t know what you heard, but Asha and I were just hugging.”

Boss: “Super-spy? Jesus, Matt, I get that you wanna fuck her, but you don’t have to build her a pedestal.”

Evil!Boss/Mr. X - “Hey, Asha, I got someone here for ya! Matt wants to talk! ‘Hey, Asha, how you doin’? Care for some tea and crumpets? Fancy a snog? Oooh, muah muah muah~’.”

Shaundi, to Matt: “I can’t believe Asha sleeps with you.”

Quotes aren’t the only thing that proves they’re canon. Parts of the game shows that they care about each other quite a lot.

When Zinyak is capturing everyone at the White House, Asha is holding onto Matt’s hand for dear life until they both get sucked up into the ship.

In Asha’s simulation, Matt gets killed in front of her repeatedly. While her biggest fear is failure in general, one could say that she’s also afraid of failing to save Matt if he were ever in danger.

In Matt’s loyalty mission, it’s implied that he made the NyteBlayde training simulation for both himself and Asha to hang out in.

When Johnny Gat gets rescued and he’s explaining to everyone about where he’s been and what had happened to him, Matt is seen in the background wrapping an arm around Asha, who gently pushes it away.

When you’re picking your two allies in “Punch the Shark”, Matt and Asha are both smiling at each other while chatting amongst themselves, like they’re excited to be working together.

This last thing might be my own interpretation, but Matt and Asha’s homie conversation low key makes it sound like Matt only enjoys going out onto the battlefield if Asha’s with him.

Speaking of my own interpretations, I kind of like to imagine that Asha is one of the reasons Matt decided to turn his life around and change for the better. While he does still have a bit of an ego, it’s not as prevalent as it was during SR3, and I think being Asha’s partner helped him with that.

Finally- I’m a huge sucker for the Dork/Badass trope. It was in my previous OTP (Chell and Wheatley from Portal… For those who don’t know me… Don’t ask. That’ll just open another huge can of worms from me), and it’s here now.

Tangent over.

[centrally-unplanned]

My memories of Feast for Crows and GoT S5 are pretty hazy can you give a rundown on what was skipped? Certainly Brienne's arc was very different, right?

Its been a while for me too alas, I remember writing it down and discussing it back when it was airing. Lets run through a Feast For Crows plotlines and see how we do.

Kings Landing: Strongly changed in Seasons 5-6; the core story, of "Cersei mismanages her rule" is technically there, but Jaime's character is totally different (he splits from her due to moral differences halfway through Book 4, meanwhile in the show they are fucking in the Kingsguard room in Season 6), Margaery's role is totally different (Cersei is primarily delusional about her in the books, while in the show she is absolutely trying to fuck over Cersei, Cersei Is Right) and the role of the church is massively expanded in the show, while its just one of many things she does in the books that happens to blow up in her face.

And I don't think beat-for-beat is as important as themes & character; in the book the 'point' is that Cersei is overreaching her abilities and a bit of a lunatic. In the show she is a Boss Bitch, right about most things, because Lena Heady is amazing so they wanted to make her a sympathetic villain protagonist.

I give it a "Barely Adapted"

Riverlands: Hahahahaha no, Catelyn's resurrection cut, Jaime's role cut, Brienne & Sandor twisted into each other, nothing is there. There is some thematic consistency but its way too different, and there is also thematic contradiction around say Sandor.

"Not Adapted At All"

The Vale: I don't precisely remember when the Vale split happens, but if I recall correctly once the Book 3 Vale arc ends in Season 4 w/ Lysa's death, Sansa in S5 is immediately shipped off to Rapeville in Winterfell, so. Yeah.

"Not Adapted At All"

Iron Islands: Its weirdly pushed way into Season 6, and then its all totally changed - no Aeron Greyjoy, No Victarian Greyjoy, Euron's motives are completely different and he does none of the things he does in the book once he wins. A "kingsmoot" happens and Yara/Asha is there, are the only similarities.

I'm not giving it to them, "Not Adapted At All"

Dorne: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

"Not Adapted At All"

Braavos: This is adapted faithfully enough. Differently for sure, I don't think as well, they add in that theatre lady who befriends Arya for example, and the Child Soldier angle just isn't built up - but its an adaptation (and Maise Williams is just way too old, can't blame em for that), overall it counts. D&D always said Arya was their favourite character, which boy howdy shows in the final season, but it works out-ish here.

"Adapted"

Total: So yeah, for Feast For Crows out of 7 arcs they adapted 1.5 I'd say. Most events are different, most characters are changed, some are inverted (Jaime, poor Jaime), key characters are cut, and a few themes are preserved but others are directly contradicted. I don't personally see any world where you can say Feast For Crows was adapted.

[wikiangela]

it took me way too long to get to it but finally watching 911 lone star 4x07

(I enjoyed it more than any other this season tbh)

spoilers under the cut

ngl the last couple of episodes I was so bored, and then the og came out with one of the most exciting episodes, and I just couldn't be bothered to watch this one 😂😂 I genuinely thought about just dropping it ngl 😂 but this episode might've turned it around for me, it was great haha

so, here are my thoughts as I was watching:

oooh, we're getting a Paul storyline?? 👀 is that the girl from two episodes ago? 👀 Asha? right? I'm so excited - pls can we focus on Paul for many many episodes now please 😂 I've been begging for this since s1

honestly, I'm here for Owen helping with wedding planning, it's gonna be fun (once again, any comedic moments from Owen are gold, they should only keep him as comedic relief lmao)

Paul is blushing and flustered and he liiiikes her 🤗😂😂

a lady who dies if she's not upside down - that's a new one and it's lowkey hilarious - and the way they're transporting her my god 😂😂😂

damn Gina Torres is so gorgeous 😩🔥 I'm in love

I'm so happy for Tommy tbh, she deserves some happiness, and wtf is Melody's problem lol I guess that's gonna be the drama in this storyline huh

idk, it's okay I guess 😂 nothing overly exciting but it's gonna be fun seeing how they navigate that haha

also, I think I haven't mentioned it in a while but I love Grace's accent so much, I could listen to her talk for hours haha

is it unpopular opinion if I say that Tommy and Grace's friendship (or even Tommy, Grace and Judd) is possibly my fave friendship in this show? 😂 I just love them (okay, there's also Marjan and Paul, and their friendship is the best but like, we don't see them enough sns)

oooh, something's definitely brewing for Paul and Asha and I can't fucking wait

Paul is so flustered and adorable, this is amazing 😍😍 pls gimme more

"I'm giving you permission"

"you can do that? "

"Well, I just did" I fucking love Grace so fucking much ❤️😂😂😂

ending of that call was so wholesome, I hope Lance and Valerie are happy together haha

but oh my fucking god what is happening, you can't just show this smokeshow without a warning, fucking Gina Torres 🥵🥵🥵🥵

(jfc I think now I'm flustered 😂😂)

I'm sorry, how I'm supposed to focus on the plot here while she looks like that 🔥🥵

this whole thing with Paul and Asha seems like a beginning to a very interesting storyline and I'm so excited, and I hope it's not gonna fizzle out like next episode or smth

oh, Tommy, that was petty and I loved it 😂

but Melody is good oh my god😂 okay, I'm getting excited about this storyline, it's fun (Melody is a little annoying ngl but I'm loving this side of Tommy)

Paul is making me tear up, and I'm loving his storyline, I hope we explore it more later on (and I still hope he and Asha can work through it and will get together, he seemed so excited and happy before she pulled out the yearbook, and he deserves some happiness)

I know Grace is right about this whole situation with Melody but damn if it's not enterianing to see Tommy feud with a kid 😂

but their moment after Melody got her period was sweet, I liked that

okay, I love Owen being there for the team - Marjan in 4x05 and now for Paul, it's just so nice to see him actually have good relationships with them, and interact with them aside from emergencies (bc a lot of the time his storylines involve him alone and it's annoying lol)

this was a sweet episode and the ending was wholesome, and it might've been the first episode this season when I wasn't bored for even a second haha

it was fun, and I'm starting to like the storylines, it's getting interesting again, they're pulling me back in 😂😂

and next episode looks good too and Marjan is gonna be back!!! and for the first time this season I can genuinely say I'm excited and can't wait for the next episode 😂😂

[jayextee]

Wonder Boy: Asha in Monster World

Every now and then I have a bit of a Wonder Boy kick. Hey dude, Wonder Boy in Monster Land on the Master System was my childhood, and I'm convinced it was an absolutely-blessed one to the point where if you take the average Nintendork's love for Ocarina of Time and just replace the game with Wonder Boy, that pretty much captures what it means to me.

I'd played pretty much every game in the series back when, right up until one day I got hold of a CD ROM for my Windows 95 PC with a Megadrive emulator (for what it's worth, KGEN) and like 500 or so ROMs. One of them was, what, Monster World IV? Couldn't understand a word of it, or get very far, but I wished that one day it'd be translated into English somehow so I could enjoy it.

And eventually it was! Initially for the Wii Virtual Console in an age where I didn't own a Wii, but then for the Wonder Boy SEGA Vintage Collection on XBLA and I very much owned an XBox 360. And I played it right after beating its immediate predecessor Wonder Boy in Monster World for the umpteenth time (a game I do very much also love) and then was excited to get around to this'n, finally.

Long story short, Ice Pyramid. That fucking ice pyramid. But I'm skipping a few chapters here.

So initially one thing that struck me about the game was how beautiful it all was. I mean it. So much character in every visual asset, the colours, the scenery. I was in love. Obvious care and attention to detail in every pixel, even if there's something of a tutorial tower that sorta-kinda overstays its welcome. More than a bit. Quite a lot. When will this thing end? Legend has it there's an alternate dimension in which I'm still trapped there.

No, right, but it's cool. You beat that introductory section of the game and get the expansive town hub of Rapadanga City. NPCs are full of character, there's a whole bunch of stuff to do (and learn how the multi-tiered/layered navigation of spaces works, this'll come in handy later) and... ...four portals. In the first of a fair few letdowns from games prior, it appears that traversal to basically the game's dungeons is less an organic and diegetic affair than what has come before, and just four doors. All of which gated by elemental medallions which, in turn, are gated behind plot developments and, well, I guess this is throwbacky to those Monster Land days? Maybe?

Enter Letdown Number Two: the dungeons. They're fine, good, things to do and lots to see. And then you fight a boss, and it's like, that sure was a Wonder Boy dungeon. And then the dungeon keeps on fucking going because apparently the game can get away with having only four of these things if they're double-length; with two bosses; right?

Evidently, this is where the care and attention to detail in the art cost the game in other areas, because now we've got to suffer Dungeon and then Dungeon Two Electric Boogaloo which reuses the same assets because back in 1994 cartridge EPROM space was still apparently kinda expensive?

But hey, the game's beautiful and varied, right? RIGHT?

And now we're back to the Ice Pyramid. Remember when I said you do a dungeon, then do it again for double-dungeon depression? Ice Pyramid is actually three; a veritable trio of torment, a trilogy of tedium; all of which clad in basically samey and repetitive icy blue bricks aside from some puzzle sections with statues.

Said puzzles are excellent, but the fact that it felt like I was on this part of the game forever burned me the fuck out on the SVC release of this, so I never got much further than the magic carpet ride before the air dungeon. Because my brain was like, no, we've had enough now. Nope. Won't play it.

Until, y'know, we get a shiny new rerelease with PlayStation 4 trophies and saving anywhere and whatnot. C'mon, dopamine receptors, you and I can finally beat the game this time, right?

In theory, yeah, I sure could. Had an initial hurdle early on with said saving, because there's no autosave; dying on a boss and then having to replay like 40 minutes of repetitive tutorial tower wasn't my idea of fun, really. So not only can you save anywhere, you're expected to -- and the wise old sage who was the original game's savepoint system is now a pointless guy who stands in dungeons sometimes to tell you "I'm surprised you got this far!". Nice. Awesome. Shut the fuck up.

Anywho, I beat it, and it was good-not-great, and honestly I think I'll go back and beat the Megadrive version in the near future just for the trophies on the Wonder Boy collection I have for PS4 and I probably won't hate it. Except for the Ice Pyramid. 3.5/5

[wingsofhcpe]

Snowpiercer s3e8 thoughts: Why Are Y'all Like This

Howdy this is starting to get interesting again because the last 2-3 episodes were shit I'm sorry.

MEL ALIVE CONFIRMED OH MY GOD???

Os dancing. My sweet man. Although I kinda get LJ too, she's being kept in the dark and she's one of the few people in there smart enough to guess that maybe that's not good.

Also MRS HEADWOOD WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHY ARE ALL OF YOU WILFORDITES FUCKING INSANE WHAT W A S T H A T.

Also there's someone in her lab huh. My mum said "oh my fucking god it's gonna be mister Headwood". And no you know what? I see it. Remember when Wilford said something about him and she responded with "I feel he's still with us"?. Yeah, well. That, or Icy Bob, which explains why she's taking tissue samples out of everyone. OR. Or. It's Boki. Which would explain why his actor is still listed for S3.

The more I think about it the more sense it makes IT'S BOKI. IM FUCKING CALLING IT.

I'm starting to like Wilford because legit there's no way he could have set the volcanic ash incident up. How would he know, all the way from the back of the train with no organs to track or calculate it? Not saying he has no motives behind pursuing Melanie at all but still.

Till and Audrey... Yeah okay I'm seeing it. I'm loving it. Healing together mhm mhm. Audrey realising she fucked up mhm mhm. I stan.

Also that's just an idea but maybe Don't serve alcohol to the mentally traumatised nuclear power plant survivor. But maybe that's just me.

Ruth immediately snapping at Wilford. My girl has gone so so far and I'm so so proud. Kick the bastard's balls all the way back into his body Ruth, I know you can do it. (Sorry Willy I promise I still like you).

Ben not even allowing himself to believe that Melanie may be out there, alive... It hurts :((( poor Ben... Hooking up with Josie didn't help at all huh.

Sykes and Javi are so cute together, like even as best friends it's great and I dig their dynamic. And Javi saving her 🥰

Okay everyone, let's talk about the biggest moment of this episode: Asha's sacrifice. It was.... Man, it really fucking hurt, y'know? But all the same it was a fitting end, and her last moments, with Layton describing a better place for her... I feel like she was finally set free from all the pain she's been through. Like legit she was too far gone, she didn't want to keep living, and she died smiling, knowing she's free and that she helped save the people who showed her hope. It was painful, but beautiful. I'm sad we're saying goodbye to Asha and her actress (I love her so much) so soon, not lasting for even one season, but it was a beautifully filmed moment and her death is the only one so far that made real sense to me (Strong Boy, the Aussies and Pike absolutely did not have to die and it was kinda bullshit but with Asha? I felt more than sadness and anger. It did feel like she had done her part and went out in glory, saving everyone).

Also ROCHE AND HIS DAUGHTER... ROCHE IS SUCH A DAD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

My mum: Ruth is either the only one in there still keeping it together, or she's a great actress and is bottling it all up while exploding on the inside. (My response to this was to show my mum that meme with the dog inside the burning house that's like "this is fine". That's Ruth in this season).

Also speaking of Ruth WHERE IS THE FUCKING BOMB. She was the last one to have it, where did it fucking go?!??? Please tell me she just disabled it and got rid of it I can't take any more betrayal.

Anyway, I hate this episode for its cliffhanger but I can't wait for us to get Mel back next week!!! The promo shows her unconscious but I don't think they'd to through all the trouble to put her back into the show just to kill her on screen while unconscious.

[myreygn]

quick update about me being almost at the end of s3 e3 of snowpiercer:

till and layton are still my favorite bromance on this show ever

up until this point that love triangle thingy that layton josie and zarah got going on doesn't annoy me too much like holy mother am i glad that those are grown ass people and not some teenagers

asha makes me gay

audrey and lj still have an equally punchable face

lj can go fuck off man i mean great character but i hate her so much

ruth is my queen

that whole resistance thing on big alice is badass

fucking finally got rid of kevin

i'm super sad that there's just one dr headwood left

pike my maaaan

also javi ilysm

[alleyskywalker]

Give us the director's cut to A Ghost to Bury bb!

So, A Ghost To Bury was written for a Theon/Tris request with the prompt “Can you just please hold me?”

Tris/Theon is the kind of ship where in most cases it’s gotta be either post-canon (or at least post-ADWD) or a pretty significant AU. Secondly, the prompt was definitely leaning into angst and hurt/comfort. Given that for these prompts I do aim to do somewhat shorter/less involved things, so post-canon seemed to be the more reasonable option here. Long story short, I realized I was going to be doing a post-canon hurt/comfort in which Theon was going to be forced into showing some vulnerability lmao. Now, I don’t write a lot of post-Ramsay Theon stuff – it’s not the part of his arch I find most interesting necessarily, especially as focused on the trauma aspect as opposed to the “let Theon have nice things finally damn it” potential – so this ended up dealing with the other elephant in the room, that is, ah…Robb.

Because ok. The way Tris/Theon usually works in my head is as a sort of counterweight and foil to Theon/Robb. With Theon/Robb being that…ah…kinda borderline traumatic First Love where it’s so intense and so passionate that is burns itself into your soul and you can never be rid of it, but in part because of its intensity it’s also kind of toxic. And in their situation it was also toxic because of the situation and context it existed in, and to me Theon/Robb is in large part a tragedy of misunderstandings and miscommunications and love-not-being-enough and how something that maybe could have been quite good in other circumstances is actually just slow acting poison in the ones that actually exist. Anyway. For better or worse, even canonically, Robb is a huge part of Theon and so much of Theon’s guilt and angst revolves specifically around Robb. It’s a wound, and a wound that needs closure.

But if Theon/Robb is the blazing first love that self-destructs and doesn’t work out and never quite leaves you the fuck alone and in peace, Tris/Theon is that comfort endgame ship for me. It’s that later adult love, the one you end up building a life with. It doesn’t burn as brightly but it also doesn’t consume you into oblivion – its primary functions are comfort and healing and (mutual) support. So that was definitely going to be part of this in some way, and the hurt/comfort potential of the prompt called for it too. I don’t remember how I decided to make this Tris’ POV, I think it’s just what worked out best or seemed somewhat easier to do at the time – I’m not sure. But also, I did think it would be interesting to see how Tris would be emotionally handling this situation where it’s been a few years, Theon is def doing a lot better on an every day functional basis, they’re definitely together and all, but he’s still got all these unresolved issues because the baggage is just so massive that some of it is probably never getting fully resolved. And then there’s of course always that ghost of the love Theon had with Robb, one that wouldn’t have been prominent in the immediate aftermath when immediate after effect of the Ramsay trauma would have been at it its worst. But now…now all that angst and heartbreak is resurfacing and there hasn’t been any closure for it yet. And well, the answer to how Tris is dealing is…better than most people would, but not terribly well lol.

I actually ended up packing a lot more details in here than I thought I would/would be able to when I first started. I really wanted/enjoyed having the cameos with Asha and Dagmer and Jeyne, as these are all important people in Theon’s life and I wanted to get in their perspectives and reactions to everything, because we often don’t hear this side of Theon’s story from anyone other than himself – but surely the side that people for whom he’s a priority would take. And, of course, Tris as a more open and emotionally available person, would seek out help in these quarters. He’s naturally lost and confused and feeling completely out of his depth and he needs the reassurance too. But also it was important to me to have the perspective of Tris thinking about how everyone, including Robb (willingly or not) fucked Theon over and caused so much of his insecurity, and Asha – angry where Tris is upset – also expressing a reluctance to let Theon go where she fears his self-guilt trips might only be triggered more intensely. And of course it was important to me that Theon and Jeyne keep a friendship/connection that is important to both of them and that they can still understand each other better about certain things than anyone else can.

And everything about their trip to Winterfell is so bleak and devastating. Theon is in his own head, and because he’s not really talking about any of this, of course Tris is afraid that this is going to make Theon pull away from him. There is certainly an edge of guilty jealousy there on his part, because he doesn’t feel like he’s enough quite often and because Robb’s “ghost” – that unhealed wound – is still there. (Thinking here for sure of the bit where Cersei tells Ned – maybe it was only in the show, I can’t recall – that it was hurtful when Robert was clearly thinking about Lyanna when he was with her, because Lyanna was dead while Cersei was a “living girl.”) But it’s also all kind of in his own head, as Asha tells him. Because at the end of the day, Robb is dead…and unlike with Robert and Cersei, we get no indication that Theon doesn’t love Tris. (Which is what both Jeyne and Asha try to tell him in a way, that he’s the one Theon is with now and that it is “enough” that Tris loves him.)

But, what Tris doesn’t fully realize is that Theon is ready to let go in a way. He is going to Winterfell to say goodbye. But he needs that closure, that physical presence of it, of getting to be in Winterfell after everything is over – he’s no longer a prisoner there (of any kind), he’s no longer trying to prove anything in relation to it (that he can conquer it or rule it), he’s not trying to belong there. And once he’s seen it again, after everything, after he’s said his goodbyes… Maybe he’s not up for discussing it all with Tris, but he’s able to emotionally “return” to him. And the ending is really two things – both Theon’s final closure, symbolized by his final emotional vulnerability and availability with Tris, and also Tris’ own final determination and realization to push through that final barrier. He always has the choice to walk away, and he’s just about reached the breaking point to where he’s starting to think maybe he should, but he decides to make one final choice to stay, because that choice is his (“Robb Stark is dead”) and he does. And it pays off, for both of them.

Oh dear God. I don’t even know if any of that made any decent sense but ah…thanks for basically allowing me to rant about Theon/Tris for 1k words xD ilu.

[devnicolee]

The Chosen Ones (7)

A/N: Enjoy! There is one chapter left, which I am really excited about :)

Warnings: Slow burn, verbal abuse (and one mention of physical abuse), angst

Word Count: 6,000 words

Pairings: M’Baku x OC 

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Asha groaned as she felt something nudging her shoulder, assuming it was M'Baku's feeble attempts to wake her up. "Five more minutes," she mumbled, her voice groggy and tired. She shifted on her side, burying her face deeper into his chest, her hand sliding across his midsection to hold onto him tighter. There was no response to her exhausted pleas for more sleep. In fact, she quickly realized that all she could hear were his loud, deep snores. Yet she still felt another more forceful nudge hit her back, forcing her eyes to pop open.

Her eyes trailed up his torso and landed on M’Baku’s face, eyes closed as he continued to sleep. Her lips curved into a content smile as she just stared at him… her boyfriend. It amazed her how far the pair had come in mere weeks… from only existing in quiet, hidden moments to being able to love each other loudly and freely. She decided to lean on his advice, not to dwell on those broader implications, the details they would have to sort out back home. She knew he already gained her sister and brother’s approval, which was all she truly cared about. But the jury was still out on the Council and her mother. Asha already had two strikes against her where the majority of them were concerned. 

It does not matter, she decided. She seceded 25 years to the will and opinion of the Council and her parents, she refused to cower or give them a day more. She worried about the other things and how to be in a successful relationship when she had no experience. But she and M'Baku loved each other and they both had the will and desire to be together. That meant they would climb any walls, weather whatever storm, and extinguish any fires this world threw at them. She finally had the person and love she prayed for every night; she would not let him go without a fight. Her thoughts were interrupted by something hitting her yet again. She frustratingly turned around to come face to face with the same black panther as last night. Inches away from her face, the panther used its nose to nudge her shoulder, a silent demand to start the day.

"Fuck!" she yelped, sitting up abruptly. She, of course, knew it meant her no harm but was also not expecting such a jarring wake up call. Her traveling companion, however, did not have this luxury. Her loud outburst immediately pushed M'Baku out of his restful sleep. Forever the warrior, he leaped out of the sleeping bag, robbing Asha of his warm body heat, and immediately raised his knobkerrie, ready to strike. He examined the cave terrain wildly, searching for an unknown threat.  

"Stand down soldier," Asha chuckled as she ran her hands through the soft, thick black fur of the now resting panther, laying down relaxed after doing their job to wake the couple up. Her heart still thumped loudly against her chest as it tried to return to its resting rate. "It woke me up and I was n-not expecting a Bast wake-up call. Sorry for screaming," she offered before standing up herself.

"Damn panthers," M'Baku mumbled angrily under his breath. But he shook off his annoyance rather quickly as Asha cleared up their makeshift camp. "What time is it?"

Asha fiddled with her beads, immediately distracted by two texts from her brother and sister. "U-u-uh just after 7. But we better get going. Brother called an emergency council meeting 2 hours before the King's Exhibition. We need to find the herbs and get back to the palace before then." The balls of light keeping them warm the night prior bounced around as the two moved about, getting ready to finish the last leg of their journey. Asha raised her hands, each instinctively moving back toward their owner as her skin absorbed them. 

"Why a council meeting?" M'Baku asked as he pulled bags of fruit out of his bag for both to munch on for breakfast and swung it back on his shoulders. 

"Well, we do not need to convince the whole country... just the Mining and Border Tribes. No need to wait for the King's Exhibition if we can avoid it. It is supposed to be a fun and joyous event, believe it or not."

The two emerged from the cave, the Panther waiting for them on the small cliff. They fell in step behind it as it led them back to their original trail. The morning air was crisp and cold, the sun peeked through the swaying tree tops giving them a sliver of light. It still didn’t look like morning on their path though, the thick forest blocked out most of the sun. The mountain had a new layer of fresh, undisturbed snow, which did not remain long as their footprints smashed through it.

"What is the King's Exhibition anyway?" Despite not following the Panther Goddess, all of Wakanda was invited to partake in the celebrations of the week-long Festival of Bast. This was to be the Jabari's first year and he planned on participating to show solidarity. However, M’Baku quickly realized he had no idea what was involved.

"Oh, it is just a show of our King's strength and prowess in battle. Really just a chance for my oh-so-humble brother to show off. He basically fights the Dora, members of the King's Guard and then any challenger from across Wakanda. But unlike Challenge Day, no one is fighting to the death. It is more of a public training session. Everyone loses to him, of course," she added. 

"What is the point of it?" he inquired, knocking some branches out of their path. 

"It shows the strength Bast gives her protector. Her power and by extension, his power to protect all of us. It is quite fun to watch, or so I have heard," she added as a caveat. Snow drifted down lightly around them from the branches and leaves above them, immediately melting to water as it connected with her clothes. 

"You have never been?" 

She chuckled, managing to keep at least some of the bitterness out of her voice. "You would be surprised at the amount of things I have never seen or done. I have not celebrated a Festival of Bast in 15 years. Though, I didn't much care to celebrate her in those later years to be honest." M'Baku glanced over at her and noticed a flicker of shame and regret passing behind her dark brown eyes. 

"Hey," he said gently, pulling on her arm to stop her. "You don't need to feel ashamed about that. You did the best you could. Bast forgives, clearly," he said, gesturing toward the panther that stopped a few feet ahead of them to wait. 

Asha nodded softly, looking up at him to find concern in his big brown eyes… concern and intense love and adoration for her. Love and adoration that made her legs grow weak and the butterflies in her stomach flutter. She couldn’t explain it but it felt like the farther they went on this journey, the easier it became to open her heart and share her soul with this gentle giant beside her. She immediately thought back to what Bast told her, how the journey of loving and accepting herself would make loving others that much easier. Bast is rarely wrong.

"Thank you. I needed to hear that... be reminded of that. T-there is just so much I would have done differently had I known what I know now… you know?" she responded as they broke their eye contact and continued uphill. Asha, being someone who did not train incredibly often, was beginning to feel the strain of this journey as the air grew thinner and the path steeper. M'Baku seemed perfectly capable and fine with the hike but she was starting to grow that uncomfortable stitch in her side that she usually got when she trained with T'Challa. 

"Yes, regrets are the price we pay for living. We all struggle with that… trust me. But it is not about how you lived before, but how you choose to live now. All those things you would do differently, you can do going forward. You have a bright future ahead, Asha. You have to just decide what you want to do with it."

Silence fell over the two; the only sounds were the soft crunch of snow beneath their boots, the random babble of animals moving through the trees around them as she contemplated his words. Asha went from having no real future at all to the one she always dreamed of. However, she now had to apply those dreams to her real life. She was no longer limited, chained in darkness with small fleeting glimpses of the sun. She was fully stepping in the light and she could finally bask in its warmth, serenity, and peace. Now that she was standing in the sun, she was not sure exactly what path she should forge. But she knew, a path without M'Baku was not a viable one. Where the light took her, she was determined to have him by her side loving and affirming her. 

The inner light now flooding Asha's life was only eclipsed by the darkness the forest plunged them in as they trekked farther up the mountainside. It was as ominous as the night before, possibly even more so since they both knew the sun was shining above the thick treetops. The rustles and chatter of the forest seemed to get louder as they went, M'Baku constantly raising his weapon and shielding Asha as if a monster was seconds away from emerging from the trees. Each step seemed to dial up the creepy meter of the whole journey, putting the two on edge. They were not deterred; at the top of this summit laid their destiny, their reason for being. They had no choice but to press forward, stomping out any anxiety or fear that tried to poke through their armor of confidence. 

"Do you like Jabariland?" M'Baku asked out of the blue.

Asha gave him a confused look from the corner of her eye, noting the way his hands fidgeted. Was he nervous? "It is gorgeous... the people were amazing. I felt more at home there... more at peace than I ever had in the Golden City. What is not to like?" 

"Yes, but could you see you-" he started to say before he cut himself off, raising his hand to stop her. The panther leading their way had stopped, halting in front of a break in the trees. Asha walked to stand behind it and saw them.

"Glory to Hanuman," M'Baku whispered, amazed that a childish dream and a hunch led them to this. The only two people in the world who could make it to this promised land. The herbs sat in the middle of the clearing, covered in thick clear ice. But nothing could diminish the distinct and almost magical purple glow of the heart-shaped herb. The purple glow reflected across the white snow as the bright sun shined down on the field, filled with more herbs than either could have dreamed of. 

"Bast... M'Baku, this is it. You were right!" Asha exclaimed, clutching his thick bicep. "W-we can save T’Challa, w-w-we can save the Black Panther." She hadn’t let herself get too attached to the idea that they were right, after all, it was a longshot. But here they were, staring their and Bast’s dreams in the face and it was glorious. 

The moment her foot connected with the hard Earth in the clearing, it started. It was soft initially, like faint distant whispers as several quiet voices invaded her ears. She pushed forward, ignoring them. Nothing would stop her now. With each inch forward, the voices grew louder and more unruly. Asha had no idea what they were saying, what they wanted. She knew it was all in her head but she understood why such a phenomenon would drive people away from this place. It was almost impossible to ignore and it was terrifying. A piercing pain started to spread through her skull as she tried to continue. Soon the pain, the symphony became too loud to ignore.  

"Ah!" she cried out as she fell to her knees, so close that a herb was within arm’s reach.

"Asha!” He had been watching from the tree with the panther and rushed forward when she hit the ground. He was at her side in record speed. He clutched her face, rotating her head in his hands as tears streamed from her eyes. He examined her head and body finding no obvious injury, realizing that the voices they were warned found their next victim. 

She whimpered slightly from the pain, unable to speak as it became too much to handle.  He felt his world crumbling at her pain and distress. He wondered if his hypothesis was wrong. Had he brought her all the way here, pumping her soul with false hope with every mile only to push her into a world of pain? 

"Asha... It's gonna be ok... Go back and I will get the herb. It is ok, you have done more than enough," he whispered, offering more encouraging words as he helped her to her feet. The pain had yet to subside, she was not sure if she had experienced agony such as this before. But as she started to walk back toward safety, the black panther, a casual and quiet guide up until this point, brandished its teeth at her and growled deeply. Its body blocked the way back toward the trees, forcing her to stay there. As if a cue, more panthers emerged from the trees surrounding them, pacing so neither could retreat. M'Baku, deciding that the sooner they had an herb in hand, the sooner they would be allowed to leave, reached to pull one out of the Earth. However, he pulled and pulled but its roots were unmovable. The ice casing around the herb was too thick to break and remove the herb from its flower and the ground was too hard to rip the flower from the soil. He tried everything he had in his arsenal while whatever magical properties inhabiting this mountain brought his all-powerful partner to her knees. 

Asha pushed through her pain and watched him struggle with the plant, a realization dawning on her. There was a reason it was the two of them and no one else. Further proof that their survival depended on each other, that their destinies were intertwined long before they knew of each other's existence. He got them here and now, she had to do her part.

"I-I h-have to melt th-th-the ice, M'Baku. W-we can’t t-take them frozen l-like… this. I c-can do it," she pushed out, her breathing labored as she tried to overcome the pain and channel her powers. 

M'Baku immediately shook his head, "Asha... you were on death's door not even a full 48 hours ago, you are not strong enough to use your powers like this yet." 

Asha shook her head, "I made it up this m-mountain. This is my purpose, I c-cannot.... I w-will not fail.” She crawled closer to the herb and sunk her warm hands into the thick snow around the herb closest to her. 

“Bast, give me strength," she whispered to herself. She closed her eyes and channeled all the fire, the heat in her being down into her palms and fingers. She imagined the field in her mind and pictured projecting that heat outward like a blanket. Her labored breathing grew as she fueled all the power in her body into the ground beneath her. the heat from her internal flame slowly melting the clear ice protecting each herb. 

Asha grew concerned, as she tried to melt all the herbs that she did not have enough energy for this task. She could feel her steam running out. Thankfully, the ice transitioned to water on the last herb just as her body grew cold, void of any flames. As soon as the last herb thawed, Asha's eyes fell closed slowly, her body slumping into the snow as her mind succumbed to the voices and tumbled into her past. 

T'Challa and Asha circled each other on a deep blue training map, the 10-year-old pushing her exhaustion aside to train with her older brother. She and T'Challa went blow for blow for a few minutes, trading hits as they danced across the training floor. She had gotten surprisingly better since they started training together, improving far more in their secret limited sessions than her actual training. She was small and quick, which helped her keep up with him even though he was clearly more skilled and stronger. 

A few minutes of skillful fighting and she found herself on her brother's back, arm around his neck holding him in a chokehold. "Yield!" she demanded playfully. 

"Never," he retorted as he flipped her over his head and forced her to the ground. He did it as slow as possible, as to not actually hurt her. She rolled on her back for a few minutes, catching her breath before standing again and starting the process over. 

Their second fight went similarly. However, Asha suddenly felt different. She felt like another energy source coursing through her veins. She figured it was merely a second wind to help her fight. It propelled her to fight harder than she usually did, forcing T'Challa to up his game. She and T'Challa circled each other before he lunged toward her again. She raised her hand to block his first attempt when he jumped back unexpectedly, dodging with grace toward the side. Bewilderment filled her eyes until she saw a line of fire separating the two siblings. 

"A- Asha... what is going on?" he asked tentatively as he pushed himself to stand.

Asha looked down at her hands to find them covered in flames. "Oh my bast!" She dropped to the ground and tried to stomp them out by banging her hands on the floor, but they wouldn't die. Her hand felt fine, she did not feel the agony of being on fire and yet she was. "T'Challa... what is happening to me??" she cried, panic setting in as she stared at this peculiarity.

"I do not know. But stay calm, I will get baba. It will be alright Asha."

Asha sunk to the ground, tears streaming down her face as she watched her hands and, unbeknownst to her at the time, her future burn right before her eyes. 

The training room dissolved, her father's office replacing it as Asha sat, hands back to normal, next to T'Challa as he tried to calm her down. He rubbed comforting circles into his young and extremely distraught sister's back as they waited for their father to speak. Her father paced by his desk, throwing agitated looks at his daughter every few minutes, making her feel as though she had done something wrong. 

"She is one of them. A mutant," he spat out with disgust. 

"So what do we do?" their mother asked quietly from the other side of the office, keeping a healthy distance from her now dangerous daughter. "You have campaigned against mutants in our borders for years. This will look like hypocrisy." 

"We do nothing," T'Chaka hissed. "We do nothing, we say nothing. No one can know about this." 

T'Challa stood, a look of disbelief painted on his face, "How do you expect to keep this a secret? She is a princess? It is not like you can just hide her away." 

"No, that is exactly what we are going to do. She almost killed you, T'Challa! Her powers are uncontrollable. We will find a way to suppress them until she is old enough to control them. Until then, she will not leave the palace," her father decided resolutely. It was not lost on Asha how they all spoke about her as if she were a mere object and not a person sitting right in front of them. 

She shared a scared look with her brother before the scene changed again. She was now sitting on her brother's bed as he prepared for his 18th birthday party. They had been laughing and joking around, until their father appeared in the doorway. 

"Yes baba?" he asked. 

"You look good, strong. Please finish quickly. It is not good to be late to a party in your honor." Asha wanted to shrink herself or have the floor dissolve her as her father's eyes scanned the room. In the last three years, she found the best way to survive in her home was to simply avoid her father at all cost. At least then, he could not verbally castigate her for merely existing. 

"Asha!" he barked, "What are you doing?" 

Asha hung her head, "I was just helping T'Challa get ready. I will go back to my room." 

He nodded, "Good. We cannot have anyone seeing you wandering around during the party. Go now." 

"Yes, baba." Asha climbed off T'Challa's bed and started to walk toward the door. "Happy Birthday, T." She gave him a tight hug and a wide smile, mainly for his benefit. She did not want him worrying about her on his big birthday and knew he was already concerned about leaving her without her only advocate when he went away for university. That smile carried her until she was out of the view of his door and down the hallway to her own room. 

 Her brother's room disappeared as an intense argument in the royal gardens formed, Asha face to face with Hasani.

“What is the issue? It is just a date outside this Bast forsaken palace?" 

An adult Asha tried to let him down easy, gave all the excuses her father outlined for her and he refused to accept any of them. It was almost as if he wanted to catch her in a lie. "I cannot leave. I would feel more comfortable if we just stayed in." 

"No! I want to go on a real date outside of this palace. Today!" he demanded rudely. Asha scoffed silently. She knew the courting dates were part of the royal deal, her dad's attempt to pawn her off on someone else. However, she did not need to put up with another verbally abusive man in her life, her father was more than enough. 

"Perhaps we should just chat another day? You seem upset, Hasani and I do not wish to upset you further. You know your way out, yes?" she said politely, deciding to deescalate the situation before it grew out of control. She turned away from him slightly, preparing to walk out of the gardens. 

"No!" A hand enclosed around her wrist and yanked her back. His grip was so tight that Asha knew a bruise would blossom on her wrist later. 

"Hasani, you are hurting me! Let me go!" she whispered, trying to avoid a scene as she failed to tug her hand out of his grip. She looked around for a passing Dora, cursing herself for telling Alexis that she did not need to watch over her during this date. She could feel the Panther beating against its cage, determined for release as someone attacked its owner. Even with the rings donning each of her fingers, she knew the flames were growing to uncontrollable levels. "Hasani, I do not want to hurt you, please let me go!" she begged, knowing that this was not headed in any good direction. 

He scoffed, "What could you do to hurt me?" 

As if on cue, sparks flew out of her hands, one hitting him right on his wrist causing him to jump back several feet. Fire shot out of her extended hand, drawing a line between them to protect her. 

"W-w-what the fuck? I-I knew you weren't sick!" he cried, outraged. 

Asha's hands clamped over her mouth in shock as she tried to approach him and make this right. "Hasani, please! I-it is not what it looks like!" But it was too late, he was off, Asha knew, to tell his mother who was meeting with her father in his office. She took off running after him, knowing that whatever happened next... she would certainly pay for this. 

She was back in her father's office, Asha arguing with her father who refused to listen. "But I do not love him, baba! And he doesn’t love me! H-he hates me! H-he treats me horribly. You cannot expect me to marry him!" 

"I don't particularly care if you love him or not. Sometimes arranged marriages are a necessary part of being royalty. You were the fool that showed your… disease to him. These are the consequences."  

Asha threw up her hands, anger causing tears to stream down her face as she defended herself for the 100th time for the incident that thrusted her into this mess. She shared an exasperated glance at her brother and sister, the only two people who were ever on her side. "It was an accident, baba! I swear." 

She knew she messed up, she regretted it everyday but she didn’t deserve this. She especially didn’t deserve the bloodied cut and bruise on her face, the reason her brother dragged her to her father’s office to demand the engagement be called off. It took Asha, Okoye and three other Dora to pull T’Challa off Hasani after he happened to walk in on an argument between the couple right as the back of Hasani’s hand connected with Asha’s cheek. It was the first time he had ever done such a thing and Asha knew it would be last since her brother made it clear he would not live to tell the tale if he touched her like that again. 

"Sometimes I think you are determined to destroy this family and everything I built," he said as he settled behind his desk. "It is like you do not care if this family survives."  

If he had slapped her in the face, that would have been less painful. "How could you say that?" she whispered, the hurt clear in her words. 

"Baba! Please!" T'Challa said, no longer a young boy now but a grown man who refused to let anyone, even his beloved baba, attack his sister. He pushed Asha behind him as if he could act as a physical barrier between her and their father's verbal abuse. He, of course, knew it was too little too late to protect her from him but he tried to mitigate where he could. "Asha is not trying to destroy us by refusing to marry an abusive man. You did not hear the way he spoke to her. Why would you want her to marry a man who cares so little for her? Who is blackmailing our family into it? He has already proven that he has no self-control or respect for her. If you think those bruises were a one-time incident, you are mistaken. These lies have gone far enough, it cannot be worth it anymore." 

"Enough!" King T'Chaka yelled, silencing his disobedient and reckless children. "T'Challa, you will stay out of it. You will be king one day but that is not today. And Asha, you will marry Hasani. You are lucky I was able to find this man for you. He is of royal blood, far better than you could have hoped for. Now, T'Challa and I will be leaving for Sokovia in a week's time. I suggest you take that time to accept this. I will not have this conversation with you again." 

Asha nodded softly, her "Yes baba" so despondent and quiet that it broke T'Challa's heart. She shrugged off his comforting hand from her shoulder and raced out of the room. Asha rarely left her dad's office without tears clouding her vision, today was no different. 

Asha woke among the dirt and swaying grass of the Ancestral Plane. Her second visit was far less confusing, almost as if she expected it. Bast did say she would see her again so she supposed this was that time. And this time, she knew she was not actually dead, which offered a small comfort. 

She stood up and dusted the dirt off the long white dress with gold trim now hanging over her shoulders. Her bare feet sunk into the soft dirt as she walked toward a tree overflowing with black panthers. She did not need prompting, did not need Bast to lead her way. The path, the course forward, who she needed to speak to was as clear as day. She did not get very close before one jumped down from a high branch and landed in front of her. 

Baba, she thought to herself. Sure enough, she watched as the panther quickly turned into a man... her father. 

The two simply stood there, feet apart and stared at each other. He looked smaller than he did in life. He was never a big person, but his presence made up for what he lacked in stature... strong and intimidating. She never got to see the gentle King everyone else adored and worshiped. She had always only gotten the worst of him. She could not deny the small part of her that was filled with the urge to rush forward and hug him, the part that was still desperate for his approval and his love. But the larger part forced her feet to stay planted like a tree firmly in the same spot. She expected there to be more resentment toward him. What once was a burning inferno seemed more like a small contained fire, still present and noticeable but not all consuming.

"Why are you here... again?" he asked. 

"That seems to be a question for Bast, not me... I found a new garden of the Heart-Shaped Herb and when I thawed it, I passed out. And I guess she brought me here." 

"You found a new garden?" He did not even try to hide the surprise in his voice. 

Asha scoffed, bowing her head slightly, turning away from him to study the horizon and the pale yellow and orange sky. "Always a tone of surprise. Apparently, Bast doesn't hate me or my kind as much as you did." 

"I never hated you Asha." 

"Really? You could have fooled me. 15 years... 15 years, you treated me like a prisoner, like I was nothing to you. If you did not hate me, you certainly didn't love me. It does not benefit either of us to pretend otherwise," she added coldly. If she was going to speak to him, it would be rooted in honesty, not historical fiction to sugar coat his actions simply because he died. 

"I did not know how to deal with a child who was more powerful than I. Bast told me you were destined for great things and I refused to believe it. I was so obsessed with the mantle of King that I lost sight of... well, everything. I have had much time to think since being here." 

"Yes, I would imagine death gives you all the time in the world to contemplate your failings," Asha responded, that small fire of resentment showing in her words, regardless of how she tried to contain it. The beautiful and serene terrain of the Planes did nothing to counter the frustration bubbling beneath the surface. She did not know what she expected from a conversation with her father but this was lacking. But she wondered if every conversation would; after all he could not come back from the dead and redo her childhood. His damage was set in stone and no words would fix it. 

"What will you do now?" 

"I will take the herb down the mountain and save your golden son and your tribe from being uprooted. That is all T'Challa and I seem to do lately, save our country from your failures. I will save your country, as Bast destined it. And then, I will find my place in that country, the place you selfishly denied me for decades," Asha responded. 

T'Chaka nodded sadly, "Can you forgive me? I was not perfect in life. I made so many mistakes that forced you and T'Challa down paths that almost led to Wakanda's destruction. If I could go back, if I could have a chance at life anew, I would do so much differently. I did not hate you, I hated your powers and what they represented. But for you, I am sure that distinction means little. I failed you as a father... I failed you as your King and unfortunately, my realizations came too late. I can't fix it; I can't make it up to you. But I can apologize… and I am so sorry. Truly." 

Asha did not hate her father, that was true. She did not know if she loved him either. But she had finally lost almost all the anchors of her past life, this was the final one. No amount of harbored resentment would fix his mistakes. Hating him until the end of her days, refusing to forgive until she was in a tree in the Planes next to him would not give her the life and childhood she desperately had wanted and deserved. She knew she needed to learn how to move on, to stop being weighed down by the past. She did not need to love her father to forgive him. She could not carry this pain, this resentment into her new life. She deserved to be light, not weighed down by someone else's failures and insecurities.

"A king who admits his faults? Quite the rarity." She refused to look at him, still studying the horizon, "You know I used to pray to Bast to take my powers, take my life, take everything so that you could love me. So that you could look at me as you looked at T'Challa and Shuri, with love, adoration, and hope. I wanted that so bad for so long that it almost killed me. Everyday felt like a festering wound that just would not heal. Your ego allowed me to wake up every day without hope, without light. Y-you caused that and, to be honest, I never thought I could forgive you for it. For planting seeds of hatred so deep in my heart that I started to believe them to be my own thoughts, my own insecurities." 

She turned to face him finally, "But I cannot live that way anymore. I have finally started to uproot those weeds and my soul is so light," Asha sighed as tears sprung to her eyes, "that sometimes it feels as though I could fly away. I will never again be weighed down by the hatred you sowed nor the hatred your actions sowed in me for you. I will never feel for you as your other children do, but I do not need to hate you. I appreciate your apology and I forgive you."

 "Thank you. I wish I could be there... to see the new garden," he whispered. "I wish I could be there to right so many wrongs." 

"You are right where you need to be, T'Chaka," an angelic voice interrupted. They both turned to find Bast behind them. T'Chaka bowed slightly, stepping aside so the Goddess could approach. Asha stood tall as Bast stood directly in front of her, her face beaming with pride and joy. 

"So, you solved my riddle?" Bast asked. 

"Yes, but you couldn't have made it easier?" 

"Well... There is just no fun in that. I am so proud of you, Asha. You fulfilled your destiny and Wakanda's future, that was once destroyed, is now like that garden: overflowing and teeming with life and hope. That is because of you and Lord M'Baku. Now I have a few final requests of you before you return to your life, if you do not mind?" 

Asha raised her eyebrow, knowing the only acceptable answer was yes. She just nodded and waited for Bast to proceed. 

"One, keep the Garden where it is. There will be a desire to move them to the Hall of Kings. But that mountain will serve as the bridge that connects the Jabari to Wakanda and the Black Panther. It must stay where it is to thrive. Two, you are learning about your powers, finally understanding and controlling them. Do not let another living soul limit them again. Three, love is overflowing in your life. It has not always felt like it, I know, but I hope you feel it now. Do not lose sight of the love you have, the family you have, as you settle into the mountains with your new one. There is space for it all." 

Asha wrinkled her nose, laughing lightly. "Family in the mountains? M'Baku and I certainly are not there yet. Besides, I still need to find my place here." 

"Of course... your place in Wakanda just may have a bit colder climate than you think, Asha Udaka," Bast mused. "It is time to go now. I expect I will not be seeing you again until your life has run its course, but worry not. You have a long and vibrant life ahead surrounded by those you love and who love you immeasurably." 

Bast wrapped Asha into a hug so loving, so tender that only a Goddess could conjure such a thing. So much waited for her on the other side, and for the first time, she could not wait to get back to them. 

***

Tag List: @destinio1 @muse-of-mbaku @jellybean531 @skysynclair19 @ashanti-notthesinger @gloriousgam3r @archivistofwakanda @leahnicole1219 @mygirlrenee @dramaqueeenamby

[write-a-bad-romance]

Theocona Hurt/Comfort Request

Thank you for the request @delicateikemenmemes​! And thank you for notifying me about the link. It’s working now!

Disclaimer: This fic deals with Covid-19 and health workers fighting against the pandemic. I mean no harm towards real-life health workers, their families, and everybody whose lives are directly affected by Covid-19. I pray that all of us stay safe and healthy, wherever we are.

"Why not look this way, darling? I know you've been dying to see me for a week~"

"Hell no," Theo directed his eyes to the steaming mug of coffee by the desk lamp. The truth was, he'd rather die than being caught blushing at the sight of his not-boyfriend after what seemed like forever. "As if I'd been looking forward to your perverted face."

"Wah, so mean." Arthur pouted, his movements looking sluggish due to poor connection. Behind him stood rows of drab navy blue lockers and what seemed like a long-unused water dispenser. "And after all the trouble I went through to get to you."

Theo understood what he meant. He imagined the hospital staff, young and old, taking turns to use the dim, cramped room to video call home. He was lucky Arthur still managed to call him from his apartment once in a while.

 Their calls often leave no room for....friskier activities. Arthur moaned about not being able to show how much he'd been missing "Little Theo" and other obscenities the Dutchman pretended not to hear.

 Because, really, this was enough.

"So I was saying," Arthur continued, completely ignoring Theo's perpetual frown. "This bloke came in with a snakebite from a cobra. So, naturally, the boy ran around trying to administer antivenom to this poor sap."

"Listen to yourself, sounding like the epitome of an empath," Theo commented dryly.

 "Oh, the story didn't end there." Arthur waved, his hand a static blur on screen. "The lass who nursed him told me the guy had apparently gotten drunk and tried macking on his pet cobra."

 Theo involuntarily snorted a laugh despite himself. It felt good, he had to admit.

 "Aw, look, you're laughing!" The criminally handsome doctor smiled. "You look positively lush when you're laughing."

 "Shut up." Theo snapped immediately. “That’s not funny.”

Arthur's laughter rang free, a welcome sound in the desolate locker room.

"Remember the old gentleman who came to the ER saying he desperately needed a sick leave letter because he wanted to go on a holiday in Santorini?”

 "Yeah, the sod who dumped his entire life story on you, what about it?" Theo could not help but notice the distinctive dip in Arthur's tone.

"Well, he suddenly messaged me saying he quit smoking after considering my advice," Arthur flashed a reassuring grin. "That's great! His mum is high-risk after-all."

 "Uh-huh." Theo nodded, taking a swig of his coffee, hoping to calm his nerves.

"Today, you see..." Arthur trailed off, his voice trembling. "Today, there was this sweet old lady."

Don't go there, Theo warned inside his head. They would always come to this point in each of their conversations lately, without fail.

But he'd rather be there and piece Arthur together again after he collapsed.

"I think I've told you that we'd let the patient record messages before they get strapped to a ventilator, yeah? And she, um." The usually vibrant young man stuttered to find the words. "We had to retake it several times because she kept forgetting what she wanted to say. I mean, we couldn't blame her and— and then she finally said she wanted to talk to her granddaughter one last time."

Stop. Theo wanted to scream before Arthur could finish his story. Don't—

Arthur took a long, deep breath before resuming. "My mate sent it to her daughter since they're living across the country. We dinna' replay it."

No matter how Arthur changed the way he described his ordeal at the hospital every time, everything sounded the same to Theo. 

It's hard. We know it's supposed to be hard. And it still pains me every single time.

"Dr. Newcomb... Old Simon, you remember. For once, he didn't yell at us when he saw us slumping down in the hallway gutted and all." Arthur babbled, trying to erase the apparent dejection in his voice. "But hey, there's no better way to teach us 'rookies' to 'toughen up' for the job. We signed for this. We've made our bed, and now we gotta lie in it."

Theo could hardly take it any longer.

"Sometimes, Theo, I...."

"Enough," Theo shut him down. "To hell with that old fart and everybody else who keeps telling you how to do your job." he snarled.

"Woah, I didn't mean—"

"Listen up here, Arthur." He knew that wasn't the point, but Theo couldn't care less. "I can't bullshit my way and tell you everything is fine. I can't fathom one bit how all of you manage out there. You hanging on despite all that hell outside, that's just—"

"Theo," Arthur tried to soothe the Dutchman.

"No, Arthur." Theo was, in fact, at a loss for words. He knew he was rambling at the top of his boiling head. What he wouldn't do to save Arthur from the brink, and this was what he resorted to. "I know I can't tell you to suck it up and go on like a robot, but for fuck's sake."

For your sake,

"But for fuck's sake, be a little more caring to yourself." Theo managed to scale his tone down a notch. "The last thing I want is seeing you broken."

"Theo—"

"When you pull through," It's an if, not a when. "We will meet again when you win."

"Theo?" Arthur called, his glasses reflecting the light of his screen. Theo was glad he didn't have to see the tears he knew were budding in the corner of the man's eyes.

"When this is all over," he sighed. "I promise I'll come see you."

This time, it did the trick. Arthur seemed to calm down, easing back into his chair. Theo wanted to believe Arthur’s mouth was crooking into a smile.

"That's awfully sweet of you." He finally spoke. "Thank you, Theo."

Theo couldn't help but smile back, even if only for a bit. "Graag gedaan."

But the moment was cut short when Arthur suddenly looked towards the direction of the door. "Ah, bollocks. My shift is starting. See you again, old boy?"

Theo put on his signature deadpan face. His fit had drained more energy than he thought. "Sure."

"Don't you dare mess with some other bird while I'm away!" Arthur waved. "Ciao!"

"I should be the one telling you that, klootzak," He bit back weakly. "Welterusten."

Theo took off his headphones and threw them on top of his Macbook. In the privacy of his room, the man planted his face onto his dry palms.

He wanted to curse at his own clumsiness. Out of desperation, he yelled at the man who deserved his harsh words the least. At least, not this moment.

His old self back then had been too engrossed in denial and childish comebacks to let the frivolous doctor into his heart. Theo regretted it. Regretted it all now that there was a genuine possibility of not seeing him again. 

And possibly for good.

Theo wasn't a religious man, but he prayed for his brother often, prayed for others but himself. Never himself. But as he pictured Arthur walking out in full gear made him think if he wasn't a little too selfish this time.

So, he prayed. He prayed despite the selfish masses out there who refused to listen. He prayed in the face of a wall too high to climb, amidst the rising numbers, against what seemed to be an inevitable downfall. 

He prayed for a tomorrow where he'd still find him there.

Stay safe because I want to be alive at the same time as you.

Notes:

*1 The cobra incident is a real-life story from Asha’s (ashavazesa) friend who’s a co-assistant doctor. I wrote it into my fic with permission.

*2 The part with the recording is also taken from real life. I referenced it from this article from The Harvard Gazette website, which I highly recommend reading. It’s very eye-opening and heartwrenching.

*3 The final line is taken from lovelysuggestions with very slight changes . Big thanks to Emma & Maria for the quote.

Personal Comments:

Theocona, eh??? Well this was quite the challenge since I expected writing mainly from Theo’s perspective because I thought I wouldn’t be able tonail Arthur’s character properly. Thankfully, I got some help from @ashavazesa​ so everything went smoother than I expected.

But to be honest, this fic was... very hard to write. Yeah, I wrote the entire thing out of my own free will but even then I needed to take breaks every now and then to ground myself.

A little bit of background: I have a dear friend who currently has to work mobile from town to town. She’s not a health worker, but the fact that she’s out there meeting so many different people makes me anxious. There’s not a day I don’t think about her. In fact, most people here have no choice but to work outside.

I can ramble all day long about the depressing state my country is in right now, but I think I’d rather spend my energy on something else.

Sorry for the sudden rant. Thank you so much for reading until the end.