#and also i feel like people would throw tomatoes at me and boo like im a comedian telling bad jokes

[syanji]

haii i usually use ibis paint to edit and if its not too much trouble i was wondering if you had any tips or like a tutorial on how to make better psds on photopea??(/nf) i tried playing around with the adjustment layers for a bit but it didn’t really turn out the way i wanted it to… 💔 thank you for your time and sorry this was so long 😭

PSD coloring tutorial / Recommendations by a self-taught loser

hello! i don't really know how to make a tutorial on PSDs, but i do have a few recommendations!

a useful setting would be Selective Color ( i apologize if the name is wrong, i have my photopea in spanish and have to translate everything myself 😓😓)

for example, the PSDs i used here barely have any layers, but i used a ton of selective color layers!

basically, from my own experience, i'll say Selective color is to make a specific color kinda .....pop (?. idk how to explain it.

moving on, i also recommend threshold! idk how to explain this one, so i'll just leave an example!

I exagerated it a little to show the effect properly lol, you can adjust it to as little or as much as you want! just remember to set the layer to multiply! (or any blending mode that works for you! many of them work, i just use multiply for... no reason at all actually)

next up, we have Replace Color!

it literally just... replaces colors. most people use it on black! just add the effect, set the color to the one you wish to replace, and start playing with the settings!

-- also, note that when using it on black, you have to turn up the luminosity for it to work!

last but not least, Color Intensity!

its just... color intensity. but yeah! its pretty useful! i'll leave 2 examples here.

If anyone has any other tips, feel free to reblog! i kind of learned everything by myself, so im not the best, sorry.

i'll confess i haven't seen it myself, but @/canarysage has a psd tutorial here! so... just saying, you should check that out!

(user canarysage feel free to throw tomatoes at me and boo me off the stage (in other words, feel free to send an ask to be removed!))

...and if i left something out, let me know!

[ampharos-posts]

I am so mindless I will see a picture of sectonia and instantly tag it as “favorite”

[mgnifiqueyoo]

“Can’t You See Me?”- THEORY

"BEOMGYU'S MANIPULATION" - Part 1

(a/n: I’m starting a TXT Theory series on each mv they made/will make bc WE STAN BIGHIT MENTALITY... I won’t do a BTS one cause TXT has like five mvs and my BRAIN IS LIQUID ALREADY what more if I DID A BTS ONE? I ONLY HAVE LIKE HALF A BRAIN CELL THAT BARELY WORKS... anyways, I made this theory for two hours straight sO PLS APPRECIATE MY WORK LMAO)

(another a/n: I wrote time stamps so that you can watch the mv while reading this theory, too! Enjoy because I said so and I have to reform MY BRAIN/ i am also terribly sorry if I ramble some stuff there lmao ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE DFBHJD)

From 0:08 - 0:22 - We see flashbacks from the previous mv "Runaway". Yeonjun starts a fire in his notebook and Beomgyu already knew that there is a fire. The weird thing is that only Beomgyu knows that there is a "small" fire. Beomgyu could've thrown the notebook outside or do something "smaller" to prevent the fire from growing BUT NO, he really used this BIG EXTUINGUISHER to turn off the fire. Really weird because it looks like as if he knows something bigger would happen in a matter of SECONDS IN THE FUTURE???

After the flashbacks, the notebook also bursted into flames. Could this be because Beomgyu didn't success into stopping the fire, causing a bigger problem?

From 0:38 - 0:44 - Now, we see the four members (Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai) in front of Soobin's house. The five of them obviously will hang out eventually during the day.

0:44 - 0:51 - Then, we see Yeonjun bake some pastries for them to eat. No one in the group noticed that the fire in the oven started growing. Weird because Beomgyu noticed the fire quickly in the previous mv which is just a small one and they're also in a school (meaning there's a lot of people occupying space or something, y'know what I mean?) but he couldn't notice a bigger fire in Soobin's house where there were only five people in there? Sketchy.

0:51 - 0:56 - Hueningkai started taking pictures (juSt bFf tIngZ) and if we look closely, Taehyun is literally lost. He's not even looking at Hueningkai's camera. He seemed so lost and bothered. He probably doesn't know that Kai is taking pictures. He's literally just looking around as if he notices something strange.

0:56 - 1:01 - Yeonjun pokes Soobin's bubble made from hi bubblegum and Soobin looked pissed. It looks normal "jUST BFF TINGZ" from the start but as the scene goes by, Soobin and Taehyun's eyes WERE FIXED at the TV while he eats strawberries. Hueningkai, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu were literally messing around but the two of them were just STARING at the TV.

1:01 - 1:02 - (this just cute uWU)

1:03 - 1:06 - Then, we see Beomgyu staring at the camera (lmao visual king) and it's just creepy that the whole lighting in the house just TURNED SO RED AND BEOMGYU STAYED UNBOTHERED???

What's even more creepier is that the TV was just red. There was nothing there on the TV, so why would the four of them (Beomgyu excluded) still mess around like they were watching a show when they were in fact NOT?

1:31 - 1:35 - Beomgyu puts a bunch of strawberries in the blender and a lot of it spilled everywhere on Soobin's kitchen counter. When you see the actual scene, it actually looks like Beomgyu murdered someone but at the same time still seen as pure and innocent.

No suspect can be seen as pure and innocent... unless if that suspect is manipulative... (mom, help im scared)

1:39 - 1:48 - Basically, Beomgyu and the boys are playing around with the mess he made. Hueningkai wasn't playing around but he was just eating strawberries... just like how Taehyun did at 0:51 - 0:56. Soobin seemed pissed because his friends came over specifically to "play and hang out" with him and not leave him alone in the air IN HIS OWN HOUSE. In his boredom, he plays with this glass half full with some kind of pink juice.

It could've been made with those same strawberries the boys were so drawn onto.

1:48 - 1:53 - Soobin then 'purposely' dropped the glass of pink juice on the ground as it transitioned to Beomgyu and Yeonjun playing together in (probably) Soobin's bedroom. If you pay attention, the lighting is red again.

(THIS ONE IS HARD TO PAUSE LMAO HELP) 1:54 - Four of them looked down on Hueningkai (literally!) and Kai looked upset and down, too. What could've Kai done for the other boys to look down on him like he had done something bad?

Or is he being taunted by his own friends and he couldn't do anything about it because he's the youngest?

Or is he being in the middle of everything that's happening?

1:54 - 1:56 - The transitioning was like glitches at this part (my eYES HURT) as Hueningkai stays in his place while looking down on the floor. This scene shows that his "hyungs" either leave him or tower over him no matter what he feels.

Tower over him? I meant: hyungs = higher authority Maknae = no control whatsoever

1:56 - 1:57 - In this ONE SECOND SCENE, we can notice a lot of things. Beomgyu plays with Taehyun as he covered Taehyun with a blanket. Taehyun was smiling and laughing as his mood changes when the lighting turned red.

There IS something wrong with Beomgyu.

1:58 - 2:02 - Beomgyu continued dominating over Taehyun as the lighting switched from red to the normal "bright" one. Beomgyu looks at the camera, showing no emotion like he did on 1:03 - 1:06... like he wasn't doing something wrong to Taehyun.

For me, it seemed like when you put the "bright" lighting on the scene... it looked like Beomgyu and Taehyun were just play fighting.

But when it's red? It honestly looked like Beomgyu was trying to suffocate Taehyun in the sheets. (Read time stamp 1:31 - 1:35)

2:03 - 2:05 - Taehyun looks bothered again as he stares into the camera. If you pay attention to the other members, you'll notice something.

They are just chatting and eating together... not even asking about Taehyun.

Taehyun was bothered because of what happened between him and Beomgyu.

2:06 - 2:10 - Beomgyu throws in a tomato as it changes to both him and Soobin laughing during dinner. Yeonjun throws a tomato after Beomgyu as it transitions to Taehyun being bothered at the dinner table.

Yeonjun then draws a "smiley face" using ketchup. Does it mean that Yeonjun wants to be happy after... an incident?

2:10 - 2:13 - To distract Taehyun's boredom, Beomgyu flicks a strawberry(???) on him. Taehyun wasn't playful (my statement on 1:58 - 2:02 HAS A POSSIBILITY) and he's looking at Beomgyu like he was pissed despite them being messy earlier before dinner.

2:14 - 2:16 - We see Beomgyu laughing it away and the two other members were just unbothered. In the fast paced scene, we see Soobin just confused and bothered.

We also see Beomgyu looking sad as if he was sorry about what happened between him and Taehyun. We also see Beomgyu looking confused as if he was like "What could I have done wrong to you?" towards Taehyun.

2:16 - 2:21 - The five of them started playing and throwing food around again. Taehyun was weirdly "okay" in this scene. Maybe Beomgyu could've done something for Taehyun to forgive him.

Or he wanted to hide his anger from Beomgyu because Beomgyu was pictured as pure and innocent by the boys?

2:21 - 2:29 - Yeonjun picks up a tomato but it already bursted in his hand. It's impossible for a tomato to already burst when he wasn't even throwing them. Then, he stares at his hands and then back to the boys. He realizes that Soobin's house is on fire and all four of them blame it on Yeonjun.

If you pay attention to the surroundings, it really looked like a bunch of psychos murdered people because the tomato on the walls looked like splatters of blood somehow.

If you pay attention to the lighting, it changes again from bright to red.

If you pay attention to all three factors (the acting, the lighting, and the surroundings) metaphorically, it seemed like Yeonjun was the one blamed for murder.

But wasn't it Beomgyu who suffocated Taehyun in the first place?

(Note about time stamp: 2:10/ Who has a smiley face on their clothes? Beomgyu)

2:43 - 2:46 - Taehyun and Yeonjun threw tomatoes at the camera as it transitions to Beomgyu enjoying the tomatoes on the floor.

"Throwing tomatoes" at someone is like hating on them. If you watch children's series or even comedic adult series, you may have noticed that if they started "booing" on someone they hate... they throw tomatoes.

So, Taehyun and Yeonjun are throwing hate on who? Beomgyu.

Who suffocated Taehyun and blamed Yeonjun for the "fire" (still unknown if it's actual murder or a representation of something serious kdfglvnjkf)? Beomgyu.

What does Beomgyu do with the hate? Laugh and enjoy the hate he's receiving.

Honestly, it seemed like he was manipulative in this damn mv. He's not psychopath, he's a sociopath.

(A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD can't understand others' feelings. They'll often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause.) - literally a google definition that describes Beomgyu's character in the mv perfectly.

2:48 - 2:49 - You'll think that it's a Soobin glamour shot but NOPE. If you looked behind Soobin, you see Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun.

If you pay attention at how Beomgyu LITERALLY SAT and ATE, he seemed so child-like.

Again, he is PICTURED as soft and innocent in the other mvs but in this one? He seemed so manipulative (using his "innocent" image to control what his members felt about his actions.)

Taehyun wasn't even facing him, meaning that he's still mad about what he has done. Yeonjun runs upstairs... where the "Taehyun Suffocation Incident" happened (Soobin's bedroom).

Soobin, on the other hand, is in the middle of everything that was happening between the three. Soobin felt lonely despite Hueningkai's presence.

It was because Hueningkai was so lost in what's happening in this reality where his three hyungs hate each other and his one hyung struggling to fit in within the friend group. Basically, Hueningkai's character only knows what's going on with his self and not the others (kinda sounds harsh but fAcT about me is that I'm the youngest and it's kinda innate for the youngest in the family to be a bit bratty and self-concerned.)

2:49 - 2:51 - Taehyun throws a tomato around an unbothered Hueningkai who is still eating food despite of what's happening around him. If you take it literally, Taehyun's like "Join us!!!".

But if you take it that way (yknOW WHAT I MEAN), it's like Taehyun was trying to wake Hueningkai up in the reality where his hyung (Beomgyu) is a sociopath.

But Hueningkai was in that fantasy (representation: eating strawberries).

2:52 - 2:53 - Here we see Beomgyu and Hueningkai being happy while tomatoes are thrown everywhere in Soobin's house.

In this scene, it seemed like Beomgyu was convincing Hueningkai to believe his "pretentious acts of kindness".

Did Hueningkai believe him?

2:54 - 2:55 - We see Beomgyu looking like he regrets everything he has done. In another scene of Beomgyu, he was staring at his hands the same way Yeonjun did at 2:21 - 2:29

2:56 - 2:59 - We see Yeonjun throwing a tomato at Soobin as we also see glimpses of Beomgyu laughing, Taehyun shifting from laughing to being angry, and Soobin finally snapping out.

Clearly, Soobin was silent because no one asked (or cared) for him throughout the time in this mv. He was always in the middle of everything.

3:02 - 3:05 - After snapping out during "playtime", Yeonjun and Taehyun walked away. It looked like Soobin was blamed for ruining the fun.

The two members who walked away were Taehyun and Yeonjun, right? If you connect their characters to the actual TXT members, Taehyun is basically known as the matured member in TXT while Yeonjun is the eldest. Basically if you connect this in the storyline, the three matured members (hyung-like members if valid) were the ones having a fight.

The two members who were left staring at Soobin were Hueningkai and Beomgyu. Connect this?

Real!Hueningkai = maknae CYSM!Hueningkai = also maknae, pictured as the youngest

Real!Beomgyu = middle of the hyung line and maknae line CYSM!Beomgyu = rarely regrets not taking responsibility of what he has done to others; either manipulative or just being childish

Soobin looked down and looked like he felt like it was his fault for snapping out in front of them. It also resulted Hueningkai to see what was happening in the reality while Beomgyu just stares blankly.

In my HONEST OBSERVATION, Beomgyu doesn't know how to sympathize to what Soobin feels because he's a sociopath.

3:10 - 3:14 - We see Yeonjun wrapping himself in the blanket that Beomgyu used to suffocate Taehyun as it transitions to the members losing their minds.

But why does Yeonjun look fine in it (not fine FINE but yes he does look hella fine in it LMAO)? Is he trying to sympathize to what Taehyun felt during the "Suffocation Incident"?

The members losing their minds? Each of them needed help from each other, even Yeonjun who fully understands the situation.

3:33 - Yeonjun looks into the camera as the fire in the oven started growing.

To me, it looked like Yeonjun accepted the blame. The blame that he was the cause of the fire when in fact...

It was actually Beomgyu (Read time stamp: 0:44 - 0:51).

3:35 - 3:37 - We see a shot of Beomgyu and Hueningkai being bothered by the fight. We also see a shot of Yeonjun and Taehyun being bothered as they were victims of Beomgyu's manipulation.

Summary:

Beomgyu manipulated everyone by making them see the innocent, pure, and childish side of him while he takes over his victims slowly. Although, he has a side of conscience but it rarely ever showed up because his situation is too severe

Yeonjun was the only who fully understands Beomgyu's actual persona, a sociopath. Yeonjun also took the blame because he knows that deep down inside Beomgyu, there's a kind person who's lost in the real world while trying to find himself.

Hueningkai is just as lost as Beomgyu but the difference is that he depends on his hyungs more than himself, being self-centered.

Taehyun, on the other hand, thinks differently from Yeonjun. Taehyun's character is matured but if you consider the age gap between him and Yeonjun, there are still possibilities that he's still more immature than him. Taehyun most likey doesn't understand why Beomgyu is like this and is close-minded when he sees happy friend turn into something that dark.

Soobin is tired of being alone and having no one. It's even shown in the concept trailer that he wants to wake up from that nightmare he has... being alone, left out, and eaten up by the darkness around him. The darkness? Taehyun-Beomgyu-Yeonjun situation and guilt.

Lastly, do the strawberries represent something? Yes.

In this mv, eating strawberries represents them being blinded by Beomgyu's pure image. The red lighting also represents Beomgyu's thoughts and intentions (manipulating members and attacking them slowly).

IN CONCLUSION: The "Can't You See Me?" question applies to everyone of them. They all need serious help and the right attention. They all need to help each other, not turn their backs from one another.

The question: were the flashbacks from the Runaway MV set in the future or in the past?

//the end//

Y’all can message me if you noticed things I didn’t notice or take note of :))

[ab-artist]

Trick or Treat

My Sanders Stories tag: @allycat31415 @ninjago2020 @ajdraws0430 @singingjo @detroit-become-pan

@katatles-the-fish  @sanders-trash-4ever @izzyfandoms

By AB Stories

WARNING: tiny sides, mention of poisoned candies and predators, nervousness, screaming/yelling, moxiety and roceit if you squint, POOR WRITING       

You Have Been Warned.

"Hey! Everyone come down here for a minute!"

Virgil paused in his reading. The voice sounded like Roman's, virgil debated for a second whether to continue reading his R.L. Stine book or actually go down.

"Kiddos! Roman has a surprise for us!"

Welp, guess he's gonna read another time. Can't say no to patton.

When virgil made it to the common room, he saw patton enthusiastically talking to logan, who looked a little out of his league trying to calmly talk back. Virgil could only guess that patton was trying to get logan on board with what he wants by bombarding logan with his excitement. This is why you dont say no to patton, you're gonna end up saying yes anyways. (Unless youre truly uncomfortable or can't, whatever patton is doing always end up being enjoyable)

"Virgil!". At the sound of his name, he is pulled out his thoughts and sees roman.

"So glad that you're here, i had an amazing idea! And i do hope you'll participate!" roman exclaims excitedly

"Well, whats the idea?" virgil asks

Roman bounces in place, obviously excited to share his wonderful idea. "We're gonna go trick or treating in the imagination!" he squeals "as children too!"

....we're gonna what now?

Virgil simply stares at the creative side as he processes what he just heard.

Well, he thinks, its not a bad idea. That is usually what one does on Halloween, if you're a kid. But roman said they would be going as children so...its fine right? But the imagination could be dangerous, monsters could appear, the dragon witch could appear, and poisoned candy, and predators, and- no. This is romans imagination, he can make it whatever he wants. He could make it safe. Yeah..its sounds fun too.

Virgil blinks as he comes to a decision, only to notice everyone staring at him. "What?"

"Kiddo, you've been standing there frozen-"

"With the most enraged expression that could bring even the dragon witch to her knees" roman interrupts

"-for that past five minutes" patton continues, ignoring the interruption

"Oh.." virgil rubs the back of his neck, a little embarrassed he did that

"What were you thinking about, kiddo?"

"Roman's idea"

Roman fidgets, smiling shyly "..do you like it?"

Virgil had forgotten how nervous roman gets about people liking his ideas, he grins "yeah, it sounds like fun"

Roman beams, excitedly jumping again. "Oh this is wonderful! Its gonna be so much fun! Youre coming too right logan?". Logan side glances at patton nervously, "indeed." "GREAT! We'll meet back down here at 9 pm, be ready in y'alls costumes!" roman yells as races up the stairs heading to his room.

------

At 9pm on the dot, virgil appears in the common room in costume. First one here huh?

As soon as he thought that, he hears someone descending the stairs.

Patton was walking with the grace of an angel. His cat bug dress flowing around above his knees and his wings bouncing with each step he took. He looked utterly adorable. He and virgil made eye contact and virgil was about to compliment him when-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! CREEPY CRAWLER!!!!!!!!"

Patton fled to the kitchen to hide, nearly tripping on himself. "Wait- pat- its me virgil!" he calls out. Green eyes peer around the corner.

"My dark strange Vee?"

"Y-yeah"

"You look very, very scary....good job."

"I could change...if you want"

Patton lunges forward "NO! uh- i mean- you look good, its halloween, you're supposed to be sca-scary..or cute" patton stutters

Virgil blinks. "Oh well, thanks...you look cute..btw.."

A blush spreads across pat's cheeks. "..thank you"

"UGH! get a room you two! Gag!"

They both turn to the sound of the voice and see roman at the bottom of the stairs in all his costume glory. His Kusco costume a vibrant red, accentuating the curves of his body. His make-up lighting up his face.

"By the way," he purrs, " i looove both of y'alls costumes". He looks down at virgil pants, purple with red lines around the rips, curiosity taking over his features "what kind of spider are you stormcloud?"

"A peacock spider"

Virgil  proceeds to throws his hands up in a U form and simply stares at them.

Roman leans over, stage whispering to patton, "why is he doing that, its weirding me out"

A voice cuts in from behind. "That is the Maratus volans, or peacock spider, mating dance. Although you are doing it wrong virgil, the spiders vibrate to catch the attention of a mate and then they raise the legs for display and move side to side". Logan steps down from where he was standing on the stairs.

Virgil quickly drops his arm. "ITS A MATING DANCE!!" he screeches, voice rising on 'mating'.

Logan tilts his head "you didnt know?"

"Look virgil i love you and all but im not interested", mischief fills his eyes,  he leans closer "but i doubt patton minds" he whispers

Virgil flushes, "sh-shut up, you idiot!". Virgil grabs a couch pillow and flings it roman. Roman squawks.

Patton turns to logan, leaving the other two to banter.

"Who are you, lo?"

"The Doctor"

"Doctor who??"

"Yes"

"...no i meant- oh..", realization dawns on patton, he smiles, "you look great lo!"

Logan nods "Thank you, you look very good as well"

"Thank you!" pat chirps

"Virgil look your boyfriend is cheating on you-" WHACK.

"we arent dating!!" virgil yelps, furiously blushing

The other side also is as red as a tomato, staring at the other two with wide eyes.

Surely roman wasnt implying virgil liked him, that not true right? Virgil couldnt possibly like him back. Wait does that mean virgil knows about how he feels? Oh god no, he's gonna be rejected and they're gonna stop being friends and-

"BOO!"

Everybody screams.

Deceit cackles while the other try to get their hearts to stop pounding at their chests. "If you guys aren't done, i wouldn't like to get going" deceit say after he stops laughing

Roman perks up, "OHMYGOSH! Are you Bill Cipher!!"

"No" he  proudly, posing a little bit

Roman squeals "I love you costume, you look so good!"

Deceit's cheek go little pink. "Lets not get going" he says, pointedly avoiding looking at roman.

----

When they get to roman's door, roman preceeds to knock on it.

Tap taptaptap tap!

It glows for a few seconds then opens.

One the other side is a neighborhood, houses decked out in decorations, kids and families dressed in costumes. The smell of candy and the sound of laughter filling the air. It looked absolutely amazing, the people looked happy, the decorations looked scary and almost real and some were just cute looking.

"After you" roman says

Patton steps through first, his size immediately shrinking and shrinking until he looked like a child.

Patton looks at his tiny body, "oh woah!" he squeals in his now squeaky voice, he turns back to everyone, "come on guys!"

And one by one the other stepped through the doorway and turned into a child. Once everyone was through the door closed and disappeared.

"Yo-you can make it come back...wight?" virgil asks, a hint of nervousness in his voice as he glances where the door once was.

"Of couwse" roman assures

"TIME TO TWICK OR TWEAT!" patton squeals

And off they went, starting with the house closest to them. Roman had made this world so that all houses has all the good candies and no spiders, theres nothing to wowwy about pat-pat!

They're knocking on the door, to the house they're at at the moment, excited for more candy, when the door opens.

"Dwagon witch!!" roman yells

Virgil puts an arm around pat and hold him closer. All of them looking ready to bolt(except roman who looks ready to fight)

The dragon witch just laughs, amusement in her eyes. "Worry not little prince", roman pouts at that, "im not here to ruin your night. I too, enjoy this night and simply wished to participate". She turned around to grab something, the small prince tensed, and turned back with a small cauldron. Full of candy.

All the sides yelled 'CANDY' when they saw.

"Of course you must say the magic words to receive some" the dragon witch said

"TWICK O TWEAT!!!"

After everyone got their candy, they thanked the dragon witch and started to leave. Except roman. Roman went up to the dragon witch and tugged on her dress.

"Yes, young prince?"

Roman didnt say anything. He just away and, to her surprised, hugged her.

"Thank you" he whispered quietly before running off back to his friends.

The dragon witch closed her door with a small smile on her face.

It was nearing the end of the night and everyone had long since grown tired. Pat was dragging his feet, virgil was cranky, deceit was pretending he wasn't tired, logan looked dead on his feet, and roman was shifting from foot to foot because his feet hurt.

"Who wants to go home?" the little prince tiredly asked

A chorus of 'me' rang about.

"O-...okay" roman yawned

He snapped his fingers and the door appeared.

It took much effort to walk to and through the door. Everyone turned back to their right age immediately after they passed through the door and then trudged to their rooms. Mumbles of 'goodnight' filled the air.

In the morning everyone will join up in the common room and sort through their candy, eating some along the way. But for now they'll go to sleep after an awesome night of trick-or-treating.

AN: idk where the moxiety and roceit came from, it just happened 💜💛 💚💖

[sivelliar]

Creative Experiment

I’m going to conduct an experiment. It has been a long time since I’ve written any sort of article, or journal entry, or anything like that. I’ve lost all of my previous writings, at least the ones that I didn’t have uploaded somewhere like the cloud or Tumblr. It feels almost like a fresh start. ANYWAY I digress. I’m going to start writing whatever is on my mind, then I’m going to become…inebriated…and see how much my thought patterns change under those kinds of conditions. There’s no real goal with this experiment. It’s mainly for shits and giggles, but I just finished a long day at work, and I’m still pumped about having a computer, so I’m going to roll with it. Without further ado… here are my sober thoughts.

I think a lot about what criminals do wrong when they commit crimes, which in turn has me concerned that I may have the mind of a criminal, but then I remember that even if I did have the mind of a criminal I’m far too lazy to commit to anything like that, and  those thoughts get balanced back out. I really want to write a long story about my Island on Animal Crossing, but from the perspective of my villagers. I want everyone else to see what I imagine my villagers are thinking and doing when im not around, and about how insane they think I must be. I did sort of the same thing years ago with “Diary of a Garrison Magus”, a daily journal I created, written by the mage in the Draenor Garrison in WoW that holds open the portal to Ashran (by the way, its been so long since I’ve played that game I had to really dig deep to remember the names of places in it. I just think it’s hilarious to imagine that as the hero of a video game you constantly fuck up everything outside of the story of the game. You really have no concept of appreciation for the little man as a hero. In Legend of Zelda, who honestly can’t say they’ve done hundreds of thousands of Rupees worth of pottery damage. Those pots are someones livelihood, and you just come in and “HYAAHHHH” them to pieces.

On top of that , I don’t know if other people do this too, but when I hear certain songs all I can imagine is where that song would play in my life movie, and what would be happening. I found a song a few weeks ago that made me day dream about surprising everyone I know with sick dance moves while its playing at like…a wedding…or something im not sure yet.

 3 HOURS LATER

Now that I’ve gotten myself good and high, I feel it is the perfect time for me to continue us on the tale of the journey through my brain. Today’s episode focuses on the affect of my brain when subjected to weed…and pizza, but more pizza than weed, and there wasn’t weed in the pizza, so maybe this should more be a story about my creativity on pizza. 84% of scientologists agreed that when a pizza is involved in a statistic you only get a piece of the pie, and the rest goes to charity. This months pie charity is the Black Lives Matter movement, founded by Malcolm X and MLK during Civil Rights. 1 slice of every pizza will be personally shipped and delivered to someone in need. If there is pineapple on said pizza a lawsuit will be filed against the customer for the surgical costs of replacing tastebuds. Do they sell taste buds on the black market? They could make a killing. Everyone knows that tastebuds eventually grow into Tastetrees, which is also the name of my restaurant where we only prepare and sell food made from trees…Not the stuff that grows on the trees…the trees themselves.  So Bark, leaves, the whole shebang. Its like a salad…but crunchy and gross, but it cant have tomatos so…thank god. I love things WIIITTTHHH tomatoes in them, but lets be honest, they are weird. The texture is the worst part. Ill still make tomato sauce though. If tomatoes all vanished tomorrow what would we throw at people who cant do things right? Someday I’m going to comedy on a stage and I damn well better get hit with some tomatoes. Getting booed off a stage as a comedian is a rite of passage. Ok so new idea for my restaurant, Tastetrees, instead of making dishes from the parts of trees, ill just have different breeds? Types? Species?  of trees growing in the restaurant and people can pay us money to lick them to see what they taste like. Also don’t worry, I already figured out how to prevent people from licking the trees without paying first. We will wrap the trees in electrified barbed wire and turn it off after someone pays for that specific tree. But what if someone tries to run and put lick the same tree as another person. It specifically says in  our store guidelines that double licksies is not allowed and get you banned. That wont keep people from trying though. There are some real weirdos out there. I guess to prevent that from happening we could include pressure sensors around the trees, where if the weight on the sensor gets activated it will alert the home security system that shoots poison darts. We don’t fuck around at Tastetrees. You double Licksies you get a dart to the gullet. That’s actually our mission statement. Has been since day 2. Day 1 it was something like “The customer always comes first” but then people kept trying to say we let them lick an oak instead of a poplar, which is absurd because no one in their right mind would ever actually pay to lick poplar. Anyway, the guy who made the first mission statement has been heard from since that day, and we changed our statement to fit the true mentality of our business. Don’t forget to hit that like button and subscribe for more content. Im going to lay in my bed and cuddle my dog will listening to lofi hip hop.