#and also kinda in denial that its already 2021

[viro-lil-goat]

ghost au

Again shoutout to this post

For now im skipping 🔴👁️ hyde and 🟢👁️ jekyll since theres more info on it

Theres also another ghost au by @/bansheeoftheforest ^^ dont remember that much about it from discord except the fact that jekyll is a singular ghost there, since its been a long time. But if anyone's interested you can check it out too, i think theres also a fanfic on it.

Anyway! Heres a VERY old drawing (like, 2021 probably) i had to edit it bc the quality is dogshit.

So yeah its pretty old i dont remember much but here we go In this au, i didnt really made a particular reason for their/his death, either something like accidental poisoning, murder or just soul leaving the body as its in a coma state.

Rachel and Robert notice that Jekyll is missing, and at the same time weird things happenning in Society of Mad Scientists. Like is there was a ghost or perhaps a poltergeist.?

So of course, they go to Maijabi, the only person in Society who specialises on that kind of thing

He investigates, and does notice that there is infact a new ghost in society. He only needs for it/them to cooparate. He does something like a summoning ritual, and gives Rachel and Robert mixture that would let them see this ghost.

(new addition ) Meanwhile ghost Henry dosent want to show up, but Edward does. He wants to come in contact with Rachel . They summon them, and as they see that it's Jekyll, they are in shock, but its only the start, as ghost turns around they notice Hyde. And at this point they are stunned and dont know what to say, is this real? Are they dead? Why? And most importantly, why the hell they are connected into one?

I remember also imagining j&h ghost being kinda zomby like for some reason, like when R, L, and M summon them i imagined them saying something like:

Я ø b ë r t ЯR æ ç h ê l

As they try to reach their shocked friends. (Ooo body horror too 👻)

The first summoning ends, and Rachel and Robert dont know how to process what they have just witnessed.

Maijabi is also stunned, he remarks he has never seen anything like that before

R and L dont understand how that could be explained, Robert is especially in denial. As they calm down a little with a cup of tea, Maijabi tries to explain what he thinks about this, but the main conclusion is that Jekyll and Hyde are dead (duh XD) and thats not some sort of illusion. He knows an actual ghost when he sees one. Lanyon and Rachel cant believe it, their precious friend is dead, for Rachel its even worse because Hyde is also.

On the second summoning Maijabi finally gets to examine this strange case. His conclusion from this time, is that its not two souls tied together, but instead one soul split in two, and yet, not fully.

(new addition) And then its most likely Hyde is the one to tell the truth, Jekyll is so stubborn he wouldn't tell it even when hes dead.

Now that i think about it, i recall they are all goopy and zomby like because their soul is literally falling apart (since its already split).

The ending, as i recall, was something like Jekyll finally accepting himself, and his soul becoming one again, by that they fuse and Jekyll becomes fully himself again, and finding peace. And Lanyon, Rachel and lodgers as they find out of course – mourning.

(New addition) but if his body was in a coma state, after fusing, he would wake up, but finally fully himself again(could be an alternative ending if them fully dying is too sad ^^).

Thats it with the au , but on topic, of back then and still i believe that before drinking the amongus potion™ back in University, and basically his whole life he was fully himself, except for the fact he had a facade, but after drinking the potion, at first it was still his self, but with time they sapatated more and more. Now rarely able to control each other (red eyed hyde and green eyed jekyll), they can only watch and feel physical sences of the other half while they are in control.

Well, at least thats from my logical standpoint, but in general despite that, i still see them as sapatate, for example i really like Hyde but kinda neutral towards Jekyll, not negative, just don't like him just as much even tho they're the same person.

[pekorosu]

hepi new year..... 🎉

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: March 2021

Hey March was a weird month what with all the pandemic anniversaries and such but here we are. It’s March. Goodbye March.

……….FILM……….

Attack the Block (2011) After about 20 minutes my partner asked if this was basically a British episode of Goosebumps and....she’s not wrong? I liked it back when it came out but it’s aged really well. Tight script and casual class politics along with the very good space stuff.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) It turns out I’d remembered so little of this movie that it was essentially a fresh viewing. The artistry and ambition still holds up today plus a noir set in L.A. is always good time. But then you add cartoon hijinks and it’s all just that much better.

The New York Times Presents: Framing Britney Spears  (2021) So we watched the ep on Britney Spears and...it didn’t really seem to cover all that much. It kept feeling like it was about to start and then after an hour and a half of that it just sorta wraps with a small legal victory. I know this isn’t fiction so I’m not expecting a happy ending, but I don’t know what it wanted to say.

CBS presents Oprah with Meghan and Harry  (2021) I mean I don’t think anything said or shared was surprising anyone. Though I appreciate Oprah not letting either of them sidestep a question. Either answer or say you won’t; none of this fancy poetry.

……….TELEVISION……….

Great British Bake Off (Episode 9.01 to 9.04) This is our first season without Mary Berry, Sue, and Mel and it’s a real shift! But despite all the new faces, it still feels very much like the good-natured GBBO I’ve come to love. Great stuff.

City of Ghosts (Episode 1.01 to 1.06) I hope all that I’m seeing about this means that Netflix will greenlight another season and more television like this. The artistry is fantastic, the concept allows for both whimsy and poignancy, and it’s casually funny in a way that I can’t fully describe. Great stuff.

WandaVision (Episode 1.09) So this didn’t quite stick the landing for me. I figured there’d be some blasts and magic and zooming around in the sky, but I also assumed we’d get some resolution (maybe even consequences) for what Wanda did to the town. Sure, she’s not the villain and it wasn’t intentional, but the show appeared to be built around this theme of denial and acceptance yet abandoned that in the end. But I will give it this: it really has sold me on the relationship between Wanda and Vision.

The Night Manager (Episode 1.05 to 1.06) You know I think I’ve been so primed by Bond films and action set pieces that, while I won’t spoil the ending, I was pleasantly surprised by how it wrapped up. It was a nice change of pace. 

The Bachelor (Episode 25.09 to 25.12) What a season. It was a mess, sure, but I also think it was the uncomfortable mix of stagnation and progress. The show needs to evolve and I feel like the finale and aftershow really highlighted that the change has to happen. Maybe it’s starting to happen already or in future seasons it’ll change whether production likes it or not.

……….READING……….

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (Complete) Really fantastic read and such an effortless blend of science fiction and...necromantic fantasy! Dark and gross and light and funny all at the same time. 100% recommend and am very excited for the next entry despite this feeling whole and complete on its own.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) I want to work my way through the series (or at least the original 14 written by Baum) so we gotta start at the beginning! There’s such a light air about the book that everyone kinda just rolls with everything. Sentient objects and talking animals and lots of murder are just met with a “Great! on to the next adventure!” and I love it.

The Marvelous Land of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) It’s really great that the second book has a lot of the same core components (human child meets a bunch of wacky sidekicks while on a very small adventure) yet casually expands the mythos and world. It even builds on the plot established by the first book (the main conflict revolving around Scarecrow being overthrown as leader of Oz ever since the Wizard disappeared). Great stuff.

Ozma of Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) Bringing back Dorothy and it’s really a merging of characters from book 1 and 2. If anything, this series is shaping up to be about making friends and the genial conflict resolution is really heartwarming. Now i’m keen to watch Return to Oz.

Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz by L. Frank Baum (Complete) This might just be me but I find a mostly human cast (outside of Jim the Cab Horse) to be far less interesting than the diverse adventuring parties of the first three books. Lots of fun stuff in here and playing fast and loose with the world-building works well; highlight the fun parts of a land made of wood and then continue on to the next location! Great stuff.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 9 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) It feels like everything is starting to come together and wrap up and I’m totally here for a story that knows what it wants to do. And while there doesn’t seem to be as much room cooking with the overarching plot that is driving the story, it never feels like it’s moved away from the heart of the characters and for that I can’t recommend it enough. Excellent world-building, excellent cast, and really great humor.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The IDW Collection Volume 9 by Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz, Mateus Santolouco, Dave Wachter, Pablo Tunica, Sophie Campbell, and many more! (Complete) The human/secret agent stuff will always be boring to me (even if they’re hunting the turtles) cause that’s not what I want in a comic. I don’t want Batman hunting burglars, I want bright colourful villains for our bright and colorful heroes. Luckily we get into a pocket dimension for a toad god and his relatives during the second half of the volume. Overall, still my favourite ooze series.

……….AUDIO……….

Musicalsplaining (Podcast) Great host dynamics and hot dang I love a good musical.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The group has taken a break from the infected giant colony to sort out some Pirate drama! Further session breakdowns are over here on Reddit!

Dungeons & Designers (Podcast) I had the rare chance to play in a D&D campaign instead of run it and it’s even up online! They also air the sessions through their podcast!

And that’s it! As always, let me know anything you think I should check out and thanks for reading.

Happy Wednesday.

[becausegoodbye]

About a month ago, I went back to Celeste.

I originally played and finished it in 2018, and absolutely adored it. It was one of the most effective harmonies of story and game-mechanics I'd ever encountered: a proper humming marvel of a game, crafted to perfection. I was aware that there was optional post-game stuff to do (I'd unlocked a couple of the B-side levels along the way, though only finished one), but I honestly just felt so satisfied by the way the main story ended, I had little interest in delving into that stuff, which seemed more about blunt mechanical challenge than the subtle emotional balance the rest of the game had achieved. (I was also playing on Switch in handheld mode, which made some of the tougher post-game gauntlets feel a little more on the 'impossible' side of 'challenging'.) I set the game down, and aside from warmly recommending it whenever it came up, I didn't think too much more about it.

Then, for whatever reason, years later, I felt compelled to revisit those mechanics. The precision of its movement, the cleverness of its levels, the joy of its art -- even if the story had kinda blurred for me in the years away, all of that stuff was sharper than ever. I played the couple of B-sides I'd already unlocked, and found the challenge stirring, so I unlocked the rest of the B-sides and finished them too. Then I collected the hidden crystal hearts in each level, enabling me to finally play the eighth chapter, 'The Core', and later its B-side. Then I finished the free 'Farewell' DLC (which was >shockingly< hard, taking literally thousands of attempts and some portion of my sanity). After that, as a comparative 'rest', I went back to the main game and collected all the strawberries I'd missed on my initial playthrough. Then I finished all of the C-sides. And finally, last night, as a final challenge, I got the secret Moon Berry. Finally, again, I think I'm done. I'm satisfied -- though in a curiously different way to the first time.

It's bewilderingly impressive that Celeste has managed to be two radically different games to me, both of which I loved at different stages of my life. The first game was vivid and story-driven, an allegory about coming to terms with the parts of yourself you try to ignore, embodied in the ludonarrative with incredible tact and precision and kindness. The second game was brutal and demanding, a borderline-masochistic bootcamp focused on strict mechanical challenge, sweat, and execution. 'Farewell' was the exception in this regard -- a beautifully-told story about the 'denial' part of grief -- while also, funnily enough, being the most mechanically punishing bit. I've loved these post-game challenges, but I think I absolutely made the right decision in not playing them in 2018. They would have felt like too drastic a lurch toward the mechanical and away from the emotional; to me they would have felt, in comparison with the main game, cruel. But coming back to them in 2021? They felt bracing. They felt apt. They felt like a mountain worth climbing.

As far as I've been able to read, there's just one extra level of challenge provided by the game: the Golden Strawberries, which you win by going through entire chapters (including the B-sides and the C-sides) without dying once. That seems fully bonkers to me, and I'm not going to even try to attempt it right now -- my way of getting through these levels has involved, uh, dying a lot -- though who knows? Maybe in another few years, I'll experience a familiar itch.

Celeste was already one of my favourite games back when I'd only completed the first game. It took me about 15 hours to reach the Summit, if I remember correctly, and I died around 3000 times along the way. But now that I've done almost all of the post-game stuff and my stats are significantly more grizzled, the conclusion is inescapable that Celeste is ... two of my favourite games. Two radically different but complementary approaches to what a video game can do to you, both bullseyeing me in different sweet spots. If the whole game had been as sadistically difficult as the B- and C-sides and Farewell, I never would have gotten very far into it. The comfort and trust built up in the base game was what, for me, made the after-game feel possible. I knew these developers weren't going to fuck with me -- that however difficult it got, it was never going to be unfair. And likewise, I can now look back at the main game, and the version of me that felt so satisfied finishing it, with a different and deeper fondness.

A doubly special game.

[shytiff]

September 2021

1 - MTBS 0 pt. tried out kopsus from jannor coffee with gofood pickup promo (10k). it tasted nutty and yummy even though it seems to use regular milk. but its kinda hot. the ac was not satisfactory. finished up the word for Prof. bought jasuke on the way back. filled out IDI form since i still have energy. 

2 - mtbs again but this time its 3 patients at the same time. vcalled with kris. bought some snacks in hypermart. exercised a bit and played badminton with renata. watched 3 eps of nanno. 

3 - my body aches and it will be wonderful to sleep again but its already 6:40. usila today. the ac in kamar jaga was no longer cold. finally finished moms box of brownies from like 2 weeks ago. read dear benjamin. got to enjoy some silence because i napped before maghrib and the others slept early. 

4 - vaccine in GCD with teh fitri, teh fany and teh rahmi. about 440ish patients. gossiped about cibeber lmao. watched the hitman’s bodyguard. samuel and ryan was hilarious. 

5 - morning walk with renata. saw cilegon’s cfd. cleaned up the room accompanied by howl’s soundtrack. made spaghetti with instant bolognese sauce, egg and cheese. o seven with tri nagita. just saw prof’s email from 2nd sept, shit. tried to get some headspace to do ppt.

6 - bp with nessa (originally kia/ugd). except therere some patients in ugd lol. did excision for clavus (1st timer!) and hecting. fried tempe (1st timer!) using someone’s leftover oil lmaooo

7 - BP with zihan. had spaghetti combined with cheese egg and mom’s chicken for lunch. instant bloating :). drank hot matcha to curb the bloat. planked. ate muesli lol. did not do anything significant today :( started the origin of species. 

8 - vaccine today except it starts at 10:30 since we’re waiting for the mayor. so i hung out on the screening table since the doctor room was hot. vaccine with dr lutfi. watched homcha and nanno. fell asleep

9 - vaccine with bang esa and other staffs in smp 8 cikerai. its apparently the highest point in cikerai. finished at 12-ish pm and we ate buffet lunch lol. made matcha latte again. this time with almost 1 spoon of sugar so it tastes good. i missss matcha. read 1 webinar ppt so i guess thats a little but its something. rip attention span

10 - usila. tried A BIT of duren from bu Tur for dr isip but its enough to make me retch lmao. was given labbaik chicken by bu oo. Some exercise. rly tried to make some progress but my brain just cant seem to muster

11 - kia/ugd. Some ugd patients. Spaghetti for lunch yay. Originally intended to go to cafe but i ended up falling asleep :) tried to get some progress for PPT. Involved a lot of staring into nothing. Slept at like 00:30ish am

12 - morning walk slash jog. The jogging track was finally open. Went to jannor. Ordered kopsus and meatball potato dish with gofood takeaway promo (spent a total of 30k) . The staff kindly asked whether i want to eat there or to actually takeaway lol. The meatball truly tasted like meat. The mashed potato was a bit dry. The weather was grey and cloudy, exactly my favorite. First time cooking kangkung

13 - vaccine today. 20-ish patients. Alone in kamar jaga since nessa went to mass vaccine. Zoom call with Prof. Dyed my hair blue in flow salon (1200K). got free manicure, It took 5 hrs 😅. another firsts in life. both the nail tech and hair tech said my hair was dry lmao. arrived in mess at 9ish pm. ordered nasgor in front of mess

14 - mi rebus for bfast. not too much patients for vaccine so i finished at like 10 am. napped at kamar jaga. got free rice box from dr arief etc yay :)))) got mochacinno at jannor. tried to do sumn useful but cannot. still no ppt progress aaa. watched homcha ep 6 together

15 - vaccine in al hanif. tried chicken-cakwe porridge near the school. the school was an all girls school, with ppl wearing long veils. tried to fit the placement test from cakap (12-1 pm) during the vaccination lol. had to excuse myself to the ssaem during photo sesh. napped so i could see the 17 pm cakap class but i ended up napping until close to 18 :) saw the 19 am class with lukas ssaem

16 - spaghetti for bfast. usila today. this dumbass forgot to wear komin and wore her rubber slip ons. turns out theres some money from al hanif vaccine. which is great bcs there’s literally no paper money in my wallet lmaoo. rested a bit. dr eva called and she gave me a ppt and chapter book job. sheeet theres no progress yet of Prof’s ppt. a wake up call. whatsapped with frends that planned to go to cilegon this weekend, but it ended up being the next weekend. thank god, because dr eva’s ppt deadline is 24th sept. set myself up on a spot in the vanity table so i can work in a chair (i frfr find it difficult to work on my own bed)

17 - some patients in UGD. Slept while waiting for 2 pm. Held off my sleepiness for zoom with dr Eva. 5pm cakap class. Matcha latte. 7pm zoom w dr eva. Fell asleep after that

18 - bp. Turns out teh imey also dyed her hair. cakap class abt bts' spring day lol. Worked on dr eva's ppt

19 - jogged a bit. had kopsus (20K) and fish fillet rice (27K). finished dr eva’s ppt with the given material so far. napped in mess. dr eva also revised the ppt on the same day so there’s 2 slides left (patient clinical profile and conclusion). took some time for me to get the headspace to work on ppt so i started prof’s ppt at like 7-ish. only got 1 slide. stayed awake until 11ish but i basically stopped doing useful stuff at 9 TT TT

20 - vaccine today, finished at 10 am. lounged around. went to bni to check on m-banking, still system error. transferred 3mil from my BNI atm to muamalat. tried nasi goreng roa and cakalang with added chicken shreds (20K). so goood. conversed with nessa zihan. did not open my laptop at all :) stopped by at rodalink bcs nessa wanted to buy a bike. drank matcha latte in an effort to curb sleepiness. worked on Prof’s ppt. fried the frozen kebab (35K) i bought from teh Rahmi. 

21 - vaccine P3K w teh yeni teh rahmi mas oim. 3 patients. Ate some gorengan and talked lol. Did the abstract and ppt for dr eva. Worked on Prof's ppt.

22 - usila w mas oim. Had banana, bolu and protein for bfast. Ordered nasgor roa cakalang from bakuku for lunch. Felt suuuuper sleepy afterwards. Wanted to sleep again in mess but couldnt. Washed my shitton of clothes with washing machine. Heavyyy. Worked more on PPT. Too much denial this week

23 - picked some groceries @ bu rum. Kia/ugd today. Its been a while since i last checked DJJ. Successful first attempt but fail in the 2nd bcs the baby is still floating. Cooked meat and veggies with nessren. Jannor and kopsus again. Worked on ppt til my head hurts. Its a little bit more to gooo.

24 - bp. Made myself bento with nugget and left over veggies. Finished the smol details of the ppt and finally sent it. Watched shangchi @ transmart w chillegone. The film was fun! We cooked soup at mess and tri made perkedel. Watched homcha ep7. Slept

25 - Vaccine but there was no vaccine, so I went to UKK @ villa ternak cikerai with pkm peeps. its like opening a clinic but somewhere in hills area. got treated to bakso and tempe mendoan afterwards. lazed around in my bed, with no info from jkt friends who wanted to visit but suddenly they arrived lmao. went to amaris to catch up with them. thankfully it was not hourly parking. ate at saung bonang near the billiard place with heri joining us. total bill for five was 126 lmao its rly pocket friendly. heri borrowed my motorbike bcs his friend’s place doesnt have car park. thank god we brought the bike

26 - me and racheel went downstairs to get the hotel bfast. packed fruits, tempe and bread upstairs lol. put our stuffs in royal krakatau. took maxim to pulau kecil. turns out pak asep changed his number. it was raining there, so we sat a bit and got mie rebus. had lunch at amirang (my treat). there was only us inside. the food was okay but the meat was rly overpriced for its amount. went back to the hotel. went to indomaret and mess with racheel to get my stuff. my stupid impatient ass dropped atikah’s brand new iphone while pulling the hotel towel from the bathroom rack. im sorryyyyy. racheel and i swam until maghrib. atikah told us abt her boy “friend”. slept early at like 9-10ish with the usual width but longer leg space

27 - and suddenly its time to go to puskesmas. asked nessa to bring my shoes. said goodbye to friends. BP. there were a lot of patients. kanayam for lunch. i bought shades lol bcs i commute against the sun in the morning. cakap club. watched homcha. fell asleep

28 - vaccine. finished at like 10:30. tried to go to bni to install mbanking but the queue was like 20 ppl. did the outline for the red book. liqo with kak kartika. zoom meeting with dr eva. fell asleep again

29 - vaccine in sma 3 cilegon (cikerai) with bang esa and others. finished at like 2-ish pm. got 750K hehehe. mentoring with dr. Arnadi about KKD and HHS. bought rotbak with nessa. showered and cleaned and fell asleeep

30 - cooked tempe with leftover kanayam chili sauce. bp again. saw interesting cases today, such as fixed drug eruption. bought phd from gofood promo. went to jannor and got the usual kopsus with added espresso (since the min amount for gofood pick up promo was 25k). tried to do prof’s script but cannot, so i searched the literatures needed for dr eva’s project

[dromjournal]

28/7 2021

(ok so the characters in this was clearly based on lego ninjago and the parts i know from following people on tumblr because the transition into this dream was me watching nickelodeon with a baby lol and then dream-me simply had to patch up the plot holes i guess)

There's five characters with powers, like superheroes. They have powers of fire, water, earth, ice and life(?). They aren't immortal, but it's some sort of minor god-deal so they're definitely hardier than normal humans.

There's a villain who literally wants to end the world and restart it. He does this by catching the heroes in some sort of mind controlling device that looks like floating rocks (like Kida being caught in Atlantis), harnessing their powers and using his own to bring out natural disasters. At first he catches the ice guy I think, then the earth guy and the fire guy. The world is struck by rapidly changing weather, crops being destroyed by freezing and forest fires one after the other, earth quakes. People and animals are dying en masse everywhere. Still, the remaining heroes have nothing left to do but flee, because if they're caught it will only get worse. At first they had tried to help and that's how the others had been caught.

The last two (a girl n a boy) are a couple. They have figured out finally where the bad guy is located. He's on an island in the middle of a large fjord, looking like nothing but stone from the outside but an ancient ritual-place on the inside, which is how he somehow got the powers he have to bring end to the world. It's a bit diffuse who he is or what he looks like.

Now the two of them are contemplating what to do. They both know they need to go and confront him, as it's their only shot at saving the world. It's night tho and they're just by the beach across from the island. They know that tomorrow they will have to go and it might be their last day ever. They lie next to each other spooning, and the girl feels how the boys heart start racing at the touch and is a little bewildered that his heart would still race like that at a simple touch when they've been together for so long, but then her own heart start racing at that thought, and she blushes and feels ridiculous but also so in love. It's a stop in the serious situation they're in to just be normal young people in love for once.

The next day they need to get over the water. The water by now is filled with toxic waste and explosives, hard to even get close to without being hurt. If it hadn't been for their status as gods whey would have died simply from being close.

They get over the water in a boat, careful because there's explosives in the water and every now and then big waves that could sink them. They would not survive in the water.

When they get there and have climbed on top, and see the temple carved into the cliff on the "inside". it looks sort of like a sports arena with marks drawn on thr floor.

The bad guy appears, and so does their friends. Except they are on the bad guys side, mind controlled. They fight them, pushing them back as they are two taking on three and they don't want to hurt their friends. Then the bad guy stops them, their friends returning to his side and he asks the heroes to join them in making a new world. They had been waiting for them.

The heroes refuse, of course, but it gets clear it was all a trap. Their other friends have stepped into specific circles drawn on the floor like summoning circles, and by pushing them back they are also in the "right spot" and with the villains words the ritual begins. The circles flare up with the power of the people inside.

The water girl was kind of an extra, she wasn't needed for the ritual so she had been kinda overlooked. However the life-guy is trapped in the ritual, falling to his knees with flowers sprouting from his hair and eyes going green. She tries to help him but he's not in control anymore. Everyone else is excited and evil smiling.

The bad guy explains that now that they have him, they will finally destroy the last of existing life on earth, but through the ritual he (life-power guy) will give all his power to create a new world with new life, a new start. He will die doing it, as the consequence is giving up all his life force, but that's a sacrifice they're ~ready to make~.

Not water girl though ofcourse. She's been overlooked in the plan, but now she faces the villain head on and says that she will stop him and that she could tell right away that he had underestimated her making this plan. He indulges her, asking how so, sure that he have already won.

She tells him that he put the ritual on an island, and his smirk actually falls for a moment as he looks confused. Then she uses her power to raise all the water around the island in a huge wave, covering the sky. The villain actually looks panicked, asking her what she's doing, she will kill them all with how acidic the water is by now. She agrees, she will, but at least the world would survive. She tells him to stop the ritual and let her friends go, but he won't. So she lets go, using the force of the entire sea to wipe out all her mind controlled friends and finally crushing the entire temple.

Her friends come to again, themselves this time, on what is now just a beach of crushed stone and rubble. They're all very weak and ofcourse devastated by what they've done.

The villain have survived too, barely. He is glaring now at the girl but also laughs mockingly, saying that even with all of their powers back, its too late and they can't reverse the effects. The entire ocean is ruined from all the waste and poision, nothing can live there nor get water to live. The boy would have to finish the ritual - creating life that would eventually break down the toxic waste and give new lifeforms a chance to exist - or they had doomed the entire planet.

The heroes are all devastated, and the life guy seems ready to do it. He agrees, he will do it and save life on earth. The girl is in denial, saying he can't do it after everything. Hes crying, he doesn't want to die, but it's him or the entire world. He hugs his girlfriend hard as they both ugly cries. Then he steps back, ready to go back and complete the ritual.

But the girl, still in a state of devastation, screams no and that there's always a different way. She looks incredivly worn out but suddenly it's like she makes up her mind, and she steps over to the water and puts her hands down into it.

the villain questions what she's doing, but she doesn't answer, just keeps looking concentrated as the water around her clears up and begin to be clear and normal again. Her arms are already shaking and the villain screams at her, that if she doesn't stop she will die for such a stupid reason as giving this earth - completely destroyed - a shot at survival. She ignores him and continues.

The entire ocean begins go clear and the villain is ripping out his hair as suddenly it's looking beautuful and all it took was this one girl. Finally, she seems done. She is shaking badly, wobbling almost like water when she turns her head to look back at them, and her boyfriend runs out into the water with her, holding her face that looks sweaty and her eyes unfocused. When he touched her though she smiles and kisses his teary cheeks, saying she's sorry. Then she relaxes and her body turns to water, melting into the ocean. It was too much to save the entire world and she used up all of her powers, leaving nothing left.

[midnatt-heronweather]

2020 review

Disclaimer: You won’t hear much about the virus in this. I’m not a denier, I know the damage and destruction covid19 has caused and the death toll, therefore I am not yet cold enough not to realise this is going to sound completely selfish, but that is my decision.  My reviews focus on MY year. Just so you’re aware. “I accept chaos, I’m not sure whether it accepts me.” Bob Dylan.

2020... What can I say?

This was the year I decided to officially identify as Non-Binary, not that anyone actually cares or believes me or things i'm "(insert stereotype at will)" enough. except for those very VERY rare people who do and who actually listen and hear me when I speak

Anyway -It has been a trashcan fire of a year since February/March February when I saw the Hu and Counterfeit alongside Ally. And I say February/March because that was the weekend I say my year ended...the good part anyway. Because it was that weekend when I got the ultimate honour, privilege and miracle of meeting Jason Carter, After that it was like a Dementor had French kissed the year and I can’t be the only one who thought it? Conventions and gigs postponed, rescheduled and ultimately cancelled, masks, social distancing, lockdowns the works. And can I just say - I didn’t clap, and I don’t feel in the slightest bit ashamed for it. Despite or maybe because I have friends and a few family who work in the NHS I couldn't bear to be a part of the hypocritical BS idea. I live in a country that will clap for their 'beloved' life saving NHS but then stand silent when Pay rises are frozen and when the NHS is in danger, we as a country expect a lot but don't lift a finger to gave back, clapping doesn’t pay bills. But...Bright points in the year let’s try staying positive and leaving the crap outside shall we...well... The main one has got to be that the US finally found their sense and President Elect Joe Biden will b sworn in January 20, 2021. After that... I’ll have to get back to you. Oh...no..no that’s not one... seriously I’ll have a think and get back to you. Conventions: Just one this year, for me, because of the obvious... But what a convention FCD Events presents 2258 a Babylon 5 Conventions: Where, as well as finally being among actual self confessed fans and being able to tick a b5 convention off my bucket list after starting cons way too late to attend the OG cons I did the impossible... I MET JASON CARTER... have I mentioned this? Have I? Should I say t again? I MET JASON CARTER!!! Also Mira Furlan, Tracy Scoggins and Patricia Tallman, but I met him! Finally! And... Just a reminder I did warn you guys, several times that it was likely hell would freeze over if I ever got that particular honour, do not say I didn’t. I’d never done an FCD before, I’d meant to, even bought a ticket but it just never seemed to happen, but the second someone said b5 con, I was so there! Karan Robinson made my year by making me the Anla’Shok uniform. And Nadine added the cherry on top by making the belt buckle that ONLY Marcus and Entil’Zha Sinclair wear: D (for the record: Velcro still hates me) David one of the organisers of FCD kept randomly shouting “We live for the one.” And when people other than m actually knew the response and responded... dude kick in the feels I kid you not. Next Year (Angel Willing) Adam and I are attending the Teen Wolf conventions entitled “Howl at the Moon 4” in Paris, France... which is cool on so many levels not least of which being I get to meet JR Bourne and Daniel Sharman again and get to visit the church of St Julian of the poor. And yes, there are cons planned here in the UK. But... well. It’s already looking Grey, and not the good kind. Music and Gigs: Two gigs one after the other at the 02 Ritz in Manchester. The First:

The Hu a Mongolian band who Ally really likes and I think are pretty cool. They are amazing live there’s no doubt, can hold their own in England even in a room of idiots. The 2nd :

Counterfeit (also with Ally) I went VIP and got to meet the boys again, and listen to a Q&A with them. I will forever love them, not just because of Jamie’s acting side despite what people say. Didn’t realise how special until recently though because;  after keeping fans going and hyping up new singles during lockdowns, they recently decided to go their separate ways. Jamie’s gone solo and he’s put three songs out on YouTube. _ I was meant to be attending a one off gig by Ruelle and Fleurie both of who had music used on Shadowhunters, even talked my friend Lou into it, but it was a victim of the lockdowns and things and I’m not the optimistic type so I doubt it’ll ever happen now, will be lucky if even one of the ladies comes over here if I’m honest. Recently I’ve rediscovered a love for Black Veil Brides and their leader Andy Black’s solo stuff. Olivia Hyde of Bad Pollyanna recently killed everyone in her black unicorn’s fanbase with an amazing solo album, me included. Ally has introduced me to a few interesting bands this year, *Wingtips – very 80s Goth, very Ally (translation: very cool.) *Allegiance Reign – a Japanese Samurai metal band,  not sure what Ally actually thinks of these guys, she found them while perusing YouTube and thought of me :D Suggestions greatly accepted, I am always up for giving new stuff a try. Hopefully next year things will even out and gigs will be able to be put on again. TV and Fandom’s: *We FINALLY got Roswell: New Mexico in the UK, and ITV blitzed through 2 seasons in less than a month, but it was enough for me to decide I loved it, maybe more than I did the original. Alex is my fave, but obv Michael isn’t half bad, nor is Max when he’s not making goo-goo eyes at Liz. * Finally got to see 9-1-1 Lone Star and I absolutely love it, (I kinda knew I would from all the talk) * Decided to give the Charmed reboot a 2nd look and it’s proved addictive, now waiting for s2 to be downloadable on Amazon or something. *In march I was so, so excited for the return of The Expanse and the fact the main cast were coming to a con in the UK, then.. The verse went to hell. I still Love the Expanse, but I’m not as die hard as I was, not for lack of trying. Still love it for Anna of course, any excuse to see her. *After 15 years Supernatural finally ended in 2020 with season15: I stopped watching religiously at the end of season 6 but that does not mean I stopped liking the show just that I didn’t like the direction (like with The Expanse recently) I loved watching the reaction of the fans, and how much they (we if I’m counted) mean to the cast. * I have to mention Cursed... If only to say HOLY HELL DANIEL! 𝑴𝒚 𝑭𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝑻𝑽 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒐𝒇 2020 Cursed 9-1-1 Lone Star & 9-1-1 Warrior Nun Prodigal Son Penny Dreadful: City of Angels Doctor who (Officially season12) Roswell s1&2 (it counts cos ITV only just got the reboots) Charmed s1&2(it counts cos E4 only just got the reboots) Call the Midwife (s9 btw) Our Girl Strike Back: Vendetta Friends: “Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

My understanding of "friendship." is skewed, and I’m not saying that to be "Vulcan." it’s honest, and anyone who wants to know how or why just has to ask. But let’s leave it at that for this. It makes some things more stark... and I've said this recently, but this binfire has made even me more aware of who’s out there in my verse, whose pack, who’s potential, and who’s just pathetic. The last I’m not going to waste my breath on. The first two: Pack and Potential (read: new acquaintances /potential friends) Pack: Yes I go on about friends as 'Pack like a person whose OD'd on Teen Wolf... because I am so :P My pack as a whole are varied, and spread out across this country with a few dotted around Europe and Aus. hopefully they know who they are because I don't do mushy crap as they know. But if they do know, they know I'm there when I'm needed and more than willing to sod off when not. Yorkshire brass makes me frank and I’d hope fair. There are 2...mayb 3 who sit above the rest, in special place for the things they've done and things they've been through with me. I make no denial of that. But everyone is important to me. I wouldn't change them for anything.... Ok... tell a lie, maybe 1 or 2 when they do my box in, but that’s only like for a week maybe less. I've spent too many years and got too many scars and burned too many photos and bridges because of fake people and users to not be honest to a fault. It’s who I am. Potential: the Counterfeit gig in Manchester, 2258 and yes even Tiktok have given me the opportunity to make some interesting acquaintances this year, and some I hope will become friends in the real in the future, but for now I will say - "I am defensive, stand off ish, sometimes bull headed and of course opinionated, but I am by no means blind. Or blinkered despite what may be said of me. I am there when needed, if I can be of use, just poke me."   Ave Atqua Vale This section has its own post these days. Sadly. Pictures Will try and make one of my “a year in ten pics.” Posts later. Final words While I am not fond of this time of year, Enjoy your celebrations whatever for they may take, I will be watching The Magicians / Call the Midwife and plotting 202? Cosplays. I will be here when (fk knows why) I'm needed. Otherwise-  Compliments of the season, now go get a beer, i'm sure you need it after reading this crap.

in the words of The one and only Jason Carter  “Hindsight is 2020″