#and also that those perceptions arent fixed

[uniquezombiedestiny]

🔊 + owen, but also + vera

for owen:

---

out of sorts i’m lost in a lie / kinda funny how everything good seems to die

i’m so tired, burdened by choice / ever bound to speak in someone else’s voice - hes pretty much trying to follow the others choices but he is So Tired

less than none, i’ve already won / ‘til the job is done by no one - he just. disappears. but comes back bc he has a whole ass job and also lives with people ('when do i get to go home and see my family?' 'thats the neat part! you dont')

let’s fade to black and disappear / finally at peace with a revere

falling apart your plastic heart

ah, what a mess, you’re second best

build it up and drown it out / and look at what has happened now - pretty much the same as the 'less than none' lyric

turn away what can’t be accepted / all of my imperfections - continuing from the last line (lyric? line? idk). his explanation for why he just. leaves

it’s getting hard to see / maybe i should let things be

holding on and ripe for rejection / ah, what a warped perception

it’s quite the shameful deed / i’ll let you take the lead - just disappearing and coming back is shameful so hes just like. im gonna be in the background. everyone elses got this 👍

out of chances to make things right / kinda funny, i tried with all my might - out of chances to fix things/himself?

oh, i’m so weak, i’m immature / ever bound to seek and never know for sure - hes trying to find a purpose (probably) but like. the rest of this/the above line exist so its hard

“keep it moving! you can’t stop now” / how i’ve made this far, i don’t know how

ah, always forward, never turn back / the past will move and then start to unpack

stutter and stop / these mangled memories of mine - could be regular memories becoming warped to him, or if he gets to know hes in a timeloop and get all those memories hed just. lose it for a while

keep splitting apart / you’re drowning in the wine - continuing from/same thing as the above line

fake it ‘til you make it / try a little harder - kinda like advice from his friends or his observations of how theyre so okay (they arent but yknow they act like they are)

grinding to a halt / you’re nothing but a martyr - both in general and about day 50 as a like. realization that maybe this (living to d50 [unlike everyone else]) was his purpose

-

hes just. depressed as hell. tbh that explains like all of this lol

also i didnt consider this being owen much until now and wow it actually fits pretty good

aaand for vera:

---

“ah, i’ll try a different viewpoint!” / another fallacy

despite all my best intentions, i still played make-believe - about the 'turn back now' line. in relation to the 'vacant places' line, she could be looking in the wrong places

i’m scouring the vacant spaces / to find an awful sight - trying to find the truth of the timeloops and how to stop them

despite the dread i still move forward

turn back now, you can make this right - about the above + going down the wrong path/having the wrong solution or intention (saving everyone by just obliterating the loops + their problems. live in a fantasy :))

none of that matters anyway / surely you can live your life another day? - vera @ everyone lol

waste away, always dreaming / again, confused! it’s so deceiving

so we live a lie seldom would detest / close your eyes and breathe a sigh, who would have guessed - theyre at l corp, a. wing thing idk. wing of the world?? its a good job on the outside 👍

and still, to say that this is best...?

every photo triggers recollection of what’s gone / caught the perfect angle, begging to be lead on

so, dance along! tell me i’m everything and more / still ignored, how deplorable!

i can’t be what you want

in this empty city, the shadows run our lives - the city + the head running it both suck. everybodys sad etc etc

just outside the stillness, i’ll wait in the moonlight - in l corp shell wait to save the people there

there’s no need to cry! tell me, were you hoping for more? - either mv @ vera or vera @ like everyone once she straight up becomes the light/her own hopes and dreams (thief of hope moment)

make a mess, fake a happiness / my vision starts to blur - continuing the last line, 'fake a happiness' being about how her light-y like. state makes people stuck in one place in time, never able to feel negatively. but if its about mv @ vera then instead she just gets happy out of like. absurdity ("isn't it funny???????????" <- losing their mind)

-

i like vera :) i always thought this song fit her. also kinda fits manager vera too, and like. all the veras really

also i see bleach as like this songs brother song (and it fits gem whose pretty related to vera [in a story way lol])

[mrgaretcarter]

[gayspock]

OKfirst off. heads fallen off tonight im so out of it so this will make no sense<3 IRONIC

but for real HELP. i think "crew is not in their right minds" plots can be really hit or miss- like... i say that in a very general sense of the trope, if that makes sense? basically anything where their behaviour is greatly altered by some outside force and they "act weirdly" including, sometimes, possession and the such

because i think when its done wrongly it can sort of be... just really unconstructive? i dont know if that makes sense, per se. because the further you get from your characters, the more detached it is: less consequences; less exploration; less attachment to all of it. like i do think it always needs to be a reflection of something and not just spouting silliness.

theres for suuree some trek examples im thinking of BUT. i actually think buffy always did really good episodes where characters got had their memory/perception of reality severely altered to the point where they were all TOTALLY acting out of character but it was still a commentary on them as individuals. like tabula rasa. i swear theres others (i know there's one in angel too, but yeah)

and obviousssllyyyy this wasnt as, like, as a defined separation in perceptions and thus behaviours but MORESO something akin to like. the naked time or something where its intentionally left a bit more vague, just that theyre all sort of slightly acting out of it and-

THE THING IS

WHAT MAKES THE EPISODE I FEEL LIKE

IS I FEEL LIKE ACTORS AND WHOEVER HAS THE SCRIPT IS HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR FUCKING LIFE WITH THIS ONE...HELP...

AND YOU KNO WHAT...T HE THING IS. at some point i just gotta rate it, man. i DO.

but also like- as i was saying... even STILL. i do think this kinda does still signify the cracks in the team for suresies, even if it was a mad exaggeration. because they have come a long, long way- BUT what i always appreciated was the fact that they really took their time with it, and at the beginning - that is, the beginning of the entire show, not this episode - they werent afraid to show how dysfunctional they were as a unit... like i said a few times... they didnt shy away from making their characters do dickhead things bc it just. literally would make sense for them to be dickheads in the beginning. and what i also liked was the way they built from that slowly and organically. and i think part of tht then means ir skinda like... theres stillll going to be that inherent. underlying messiness

and im also frowning at crichton

im a little concernedfor crichton. my friend crichton.

is crichton going to be quite well

because- LIKE... they said he was the least affected. bc he has the worst eyesight. BUT he did kind of- in my opinion- seem the most. you know. unhinged by far. AND he was having those visual hallucinations which none of the others did. and maybe its just visual flair, having scorpy there; maybe its just inconsistencies, or humans lacking a mental fortitude... BUT GUYSSSS I WAS LIKE

UP UNTIL HE STARTED BEING LIKE. ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED. which uh there is one thing i will say. LIKE i thought maybe he was totally unaffected (either by "his human biology" - or something of the sort) and this was just genuinely him snapping - and theyd "fix" whatever the issue was, and he'd still be riled up as all hell, in a classic farscape subvert subvert moment. AND I MEAN THATS NOT THE CASE- AND IM HAPPY ITS NOT- BUT MY POINT IS...

I DONT KNOW. maybe its bc i enjoyed the episode and i dont thinkits just an insane little detour as much fun as it is. somethings up here. crichton baby speak 2 me

but YEAH THATS- thats oneee part i didnt like so much. the bit with chiana. did not rate that. i think 90s shows... YES obviously it was meant to come off badly, and its not like he did anything, and like i said- im usually happy when they arent afraid to have their characters be awful. BUT. that one scene was really pushing it in a way i dont really like. mostly just because it did kinda teeter a bit too much towards shock value and kinda just bc- again, with shows in this era, i know its just... theyre never sooo careful about that kinda thing. trek had its issues (tng, mostly).. and buffy had so fucking many your head would explode. so i dont knock it as much but yeah

ANYWAYS

margarita shooters is stuckinmy head but also crichtons little ice cream thing help-

AND THE NUMBER OF TIMES

RYGEL SAID

BITCH

STOP IT WHY IS IT SO FUNNY WHEN HE SAYS BITCH IT MAKES ME JUMP FOR SOME REASON BECAUSE. i think because they say frell the rest of the time and bitch. im sorry its such a funny fucking word to me SORRY i just LAUHG LIKE. YOU BITCH. HELP. HE'S LIKE 2 MOLECULES TALL TOO LIKE PLEASE

[shoezuki]

Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

[armorabs]

personally with me i like to think of spongebob as a great multiverse with different timelines and stuff. consistency really doesn't matter with me and if it does i like to think of spongebob taking place in one main timeline with different timelines that go off of the main timeline either in the past or future but that is just me!

if you've read any of my posts about this you know i feel pretty similarly! i dont think theres any one definitive true timeline in spongebob squarepants as a franchise - just the ones we prefer to conceptualize based on episodes we enjoy and our perceptions of them - and not even the original series sticks to one true timeline so there are a bunch of different timelines going on and some episodes exist in different timelines that arent necessarily compatible with others. i mean. its a non-continuity gag cartoon, it doesnt need to be connected in a consistent, linear fashion that makes total sense. its like looney tunes. like yeah, ill still piece together my own linear timeline because thats what i consider fun to do in my spare time but i'm not gonna take it as fact or act like anything that defies my perception is wrong or somehow defiling its own canon or whatever

so yeah, inconsistency doesnt really bother me, at least not long-term, i just also like to categorize and explain things in my own mind and keep track of roughly when things would be or should be even if they dont necessarily take place in the same timeline... even though i also think there may be a mild case of sliding timescale going on in spongebob, too, so those may not necessarily be in fixed positions either. (although so far the timescale literally only seems to affect mr krabs and plankton - with minor effects on mrs puff and karen, due to their relationships with them...)

the only thing about inconsistency that bothers me is like... when it feels like im being actively lied to or intentionally deceived. like if the plot of a story or episode says one thing and half-way through it says something totally different but acts as if it has been saying that specific thing the entire time with no basis or lead-up to the sudden change that would justify the reframing. or more specific to spongebob, herb and margie being brought back in season 12 so that they'd appear at the exact same time as cecil and bunny would be appearing in the patrick star show... while vincent waller is going on about, uh, you know, the shit he says. i tune it out a lot of the time because it annoys me. anyways, it feels intentionally ... misleading, confusing, and deceptive in a way that i don't like.

and its really the only instance of something like that that really gets to me - mostly because of the shit vincent waller had to SAY about the whole deal combined with the circumstances that got on my nerves lol

[dyketubbo]

Wilbur is a Prince of Heart fucking bite me

*clears throat* now that i have your attention please watch as i become mentally ill and explain why wilbur soot is a dirk strider kinnie. all /rp of course. analysis under the cut because i talk. so much.

basic summary: wilbur is destructive about emotions, he destroys others emotionally and most notably destroys himself for being emotional, he wants to be in control and spirals when he loses it but ultimately falls down mentally from broken trust and a misguided want to care for and about others. he lashes out at perceived flaws and puts people into titles, such as putting himself as a villain, and perceives himself as a negative force overall but is unable to stop caring and as such can often turn to using how much he cares into a destructive force. he needs to learn how to healthily let go of control and how to trust others. he used to care healthily and needs to relearn how to do so, but the fact that he is growing into becoming a healthy heart player when he fell due to untreated destructive tendencies is a signifier of being a prince

oh classpects my beloved <3 as a heart player (thief of heart :]) wilbur is absolutely a heart player and anyone who says otherwise is Wrong. anyways what people not super into the classpecting buiz dont know is that while aspects can have certain aesthetics tied to them, they arent defined by those aesthetics, and sometimes themes present in characters is uh, just them being characters and doesnt have anything to do with classpects. thats why every canon heart player in homestuck has something to do with romance (especially failed romance), but being a heart player does not mean youre inherently tied to romance, not really. also characters are often influenced by others and that can mess with things, but classpects are an ultimatum, you have to look at the whole arc of a character to classpect them, and thats hard in a story thats not done yet like the dream smp

but anyways. aspect is more about worldview, its how you see things, and it can either be something youre born into or something you grow into (which is determined by your class- for example, tommy is a knight because hes always had a connection to blood [which is also why i like knight more than thief, because as a thief, thief classes take their aspect and did not always have them, but tommys always been connected to blood, to relationships, in a literal sense he protects {knight} his relationships {blood} and sticks by them {also knight}]) which i think is why it can be so hard for people to agree on one aspect- you have to consider whether or not that character always embodied it or if they grew into it. in a world of unreliable narrators, worldviews have to be actively read into and you have to often push what a character says aside because they may be straight up lying. and because theyre lying, that can affect how they come off and their actions and words may seem disconnected when they arent

wilburs hard to get a handle on his class because of how often he contradicts the fuck out of himself, his aspect is easier to figure out because we've known him long enough to see how he fits into the heart mold- he cares about others, definitely! but he does have a vaguely inherent selfishness about him (calling l'manburg *his*, destroying it because he cant have it, because he's paranoid and doesn't think theres a chance of it ever being what it was meant to be, even when hes given the chance to have it again he destroys it instead because he doesnt want to try and fix it, claiming he doesnt care even though he destroyed it because he cared too much). unhealthy heart players can be cunning but impulsive, perceptive but emotional and falling into gut instincts. exploring their own identities and others identities as well, placing importance in titles and roles and all that jazz, and what parts of this are played into or not is determined by class

wilbur is a prince because princes have a significant projection of self importance. but because princes either destroy their aspect or through their aspect, and are active destroyers, they can often destroy things (or people) if they believe its not working correctly, or if theyre losing control. unhealthy princes can often lash out and destroy others and themselves for perceived weaknesses, and will often focus on themselves. unhealthy princes often start thinking theyre the root of why theres so many shitty things going on. princes in general also try really hard to compensate for insecurities and do by justifying what happens to them with narratives that they deem to be correct. they arent actively malicious, but if they see a perceived flaw it can often piss them off and cause them to lash out

wilbur loses control (and i must note here, he also loses trust, and accepting that you can trust others and that its okay to not be in control is a sign of a healthy prince) and spirals because of betrayal and paranoia, and that only makes him want more control over what happens so that he cant be betrayed again. he tries to destroy his own emotions, becomes distant and untrusting, tries to destroy others emotions by stating his own current worldviews and stating that they cant trust others and that hes going to destroy what and who they care about. however, because wilbur is still emotional and still cares, as a apart of his character, he still often backs out of destruction (or offers himself up to be destroyed instead, "if youre going to kill anyone kill me"), its in his most conscious moments that he shows that hes not as malicious as he wants people to see him as. he sees himself as a villain and as the cause of all bad things, and encourages pursuits of power because he sees control and power as good things

tommys quote of "he treated other people badly because he wanted to be treated badly" (paraphrased of course) works well here for why wilbur is a prince. he destroyed because he wanted to be destroyed, destroyed lmanburg and hurt others and drove them to hurt others (the pit) because he saw himself as a destructive force needed to be taken down. he wanted to be in control of his life, his safety, others safety, of his possessions and of the narrative, and it all swirled into him wanting to be in control of his own death. bards are too passive, they invite destruction rather than cause it, wilbur can be mistaken as a bard because of how he often acts with tommy, but that can also be seen as a princely thing of trying to be in control of who he cares about

also the lying about what he cares about feels very prince of heart lol. bitch saying he doesn't care about l'manburg then staring wistfully at the van.. yeah. he cares. but it serves his goal more to pretend he doesn't. l'manburg itself was a decision driven by emotion, it's an emotional priority, and that's why wilbur cares about it (heart move), but wants to destroy it because he feels like the original emotions he put behind it are gone and corrupted and that he and others no longer deserve it (prince move). as such, he clashes with tommy, who cares about it because he got a family from it (blood move) and wants to protect it and keep everyone involved safe (knight move)

you could argue that wilbur fits classes like witch because of how he manipulates emotions and others but i think that lays way into how revivedbur is currently acting and not how wilbur is as a whole. he's too driven by impulses to be a witch, and i think a witch wilbur would be way more actively villainous than a prince wilbur, however surprising that may sound. princes are destructive sure, but ultimately their downfall comes from whether they trust others or not, and wilbur only trusting tommy (and maybe phil? im waiting to see more interactions between them to see if wilbur is going to really be open to phil or not) isn't enough to save wilbur from his spiral. he needs to learn how to healthily release control and how to trust others, how to step back and snap out of thinking he knows best. also i feel that it's a bit easier to see when princes are full of shit than it is to see when a witch is full of shit lmao, at least from a personal perspective, of course when you're a viewer of the story it's easier to see manipulation than it is when you're apart of the story

[gg-astrology]

As a fellow 'I eat out of nutella jars too' I would like to tell u HOW WHOLESOME YOUR BLOG IS uwu. Can I know what you think about my Aqua sun and libra moon? thank/love u bye

ksdjnfksn OOOF thank u so much!!! 💕💕💕 I finished that nutella jar btw, i snacked on it for like 3 hours a tiny bit at a time (it was mostly empty anyways so i was scrapping off the sides skdfndk) 💕

[Below Cut: Aquarius Sun - Libra Moon ♎️ ]

I say this a lot for decans, but these people are one of the most well-balanced one out of their group of friends, internally and externally

Like yeah they have their own Shit too, but in terms of Dealing with their actual problems– people really admire them for it (bc most other people are like, weird with ‘woe is me’ kind of thing or not realizing themselves)

They rarely open up to others surprisingly, tend to have a few good close friends who they do (maybe 1-2 that they trust enough to tell their problems to)

Most of the time they just— if people are concerned about their personal/private shit they kind of just shrugs it off like ‘its cool, well not cool but you know its ok– i’ll deal with it’

Doesn’t want to get messy, for some reason they think venting is being Messy

It’s mostly because ‘venting’ implies letting out feelings that doesn’t do anything productive/go nowhere, like yeah it helps others who needs to do it to move on (mostly their fire sign friends). They understand that, so that’s why they’re there for them (with a tissue and calm soulful eyes to be the ‘stability’ in all this). But when it comes to themselves? It’s like they think they won’t gain anything out of venting their frustration bc ‘emotions arent supposed to work that way’ (if it’s not productive)

Thus why they find themselves being the person other people go to to vent to. Because they’re like ‘shrug, this is taking nothing from me im just here to be support’ they might look to saying yes alright to others. 

People might used to think of them as push-overs, but they’re not. It’s because they know they can offer tolerance, acceptance, understanding and support for others. Coupled with gentle reprimanding/encouragement, their advice are productive. But they do so gently like ‘you know what I mean right? I think it’s both of your problem, not just one of you is wrong. This is your responsibility, not mine.’ 

Aquarius is ruled by Saturn after all, they have a keen eye on their friends. Often pulling them in with a quick ‘do you need help? are you ok?’ offering it privately. If the friend doesn’t want to expose their problems in public, they leave it alone (bc they respect that). If their friend bursts out crying, they reel them in and tell the public that they’re ‘taking them away for a bit to calm down and see what the problem is’

They have tact tho like, they understand personal problem is a private thing. They aren’t going to come back and tell the rest of the world what the problem is because they themselves is a rather private person despite being a public personality. They aren’t of the mindset that sharing the problem with the friend-group/majority is going to help the person in question, unless it’s getting really serious/dire and they really do need outside intervention.    

See, beneath all the romanticism and ‘sigh i wish things like that happen to me’ — they have so much experience with helping others that they may tend to forget about themselves. They forget to delve deeper into their subconscious and the lessons they’ve emotionally picked up for others.

This leads them to maybe  subconsciously denying certain emotions they may also feel, certain things become catalogued as ‘messy’ without them realizing it. They think they don’t have/need to go to others for their problems, mostly because they’re used to being the one people go to for help.

If they lose their ‘stability’ then that would affect the group’s dynamic right? What if others who has proved to be ‘less stable’ than them started breaking down too? The overall mayhem and consciousness of the group emotionality/dynamic is what stops them from reaching out to people or letting others help them. They’re afraid to ‘break’ the type-cast of their strong emotional character (fixed sign remember) and thus they tend to underestimate their own emotional needs (’its fine i’ll deal with it)

Some may even have an aversive view to letting themselves show/go through their actual emotions because of this. Learning how to give equal emotionality in their relationships will be important to them, I know they might not like getting ‘vulnerable’ in front of people– but it will help them drastically with their own progression/development. 

Aqua/Libra people (who are still youngings) might even think crying is messy. But this depends on them honestly. The thing is, they might be afraid to show old friends (who they haven’t seen in a while) that they’ve grown and develop, and thus being quite a passive character or trying to reach back into who they were before in order to connect with them (which they will immediately regret later)

These people are optimistic tho, like they have a general positivity about them that they exude consciously. They’re one of those people who’ve probably read ‘the secret’ book by Rhonda Burne back in the days ( a self-help book, actually they read a lot of self-help books) 

They believe in the Law of Attraction– that if they exude positivity, then positivity will come back to them.

This is a teaching they demonstrate to their friends, those who may be feeling down, they do it to help others as well as themselves. They try to remain positive and have a positive influence with people– but in this case, that’s why they don’t expose themselves to others a lot of the time.

The people they open up to though, are people who are quite chill and personal. Like they’re as much of an individual as them, maybe kind of a trail blazer/admirable to them. They understand them, so they trust them to give good solid advice.

Most of the time, it’s understanding and practical answers. Like how they give to other people, these people become their close friends and ones they keep for life– they trust them and depend on them. 

Love their friends to bist, I know this is like cheesy BUT its in the WAY they love/show their love for their friend that’s really the 👌 of Aqua/Libra

Did you know they have sparkly eyes when they are happy/supportive of people? Sometimes it’s like, teasing– soft and gushy (and if you tell them this they’ll try to ‘cure’ it somehow sdknf)

It’s their facial expression that really does people in, they also tend to use like a calming voice for others. Not that they do it consciously, their calming voice is usually panic ridden for stressful situation (exerted consciously) but their normal voice is calming itself is what I mean.

Another thing is, ahh they may be attracted to those who are more ‘active’ – because they have such a strong sense of perception and inner peace. Those who are abit more cardinal (Aries/Capricorn/Cancer) or those with stress tensions (squares) tends to attract them towards those people. 

That’s it for now!! 💕💕 This is quite long but I hope it’s good for you!! ;; 💕💕💕💕 Thank u for dropping by and being so sweet to me aaaah 💕💕💕

[sugarless--girl]

Day 7: Disaster — fem!Kuroken

Kuroo was a bit of a disaster around Kenma. The dark-haired girl was terrified that someday she’d slip up and it’d all come crashing down that she had the hots for her childhood friend.

Of course she fucks this up by making out with Kenma at a party. God help her poor soul.

Read on AO3

The party was an absolute disaster and everyone knew it. It wasn’t enough that cops were called half-way through the night, oh no—Kenma had to go and make shitty decisions in her inebriated state of mind. Remind her never to go to a frat party again.

When Kenma first woke up that morning, her hangover was painful enough that it left her cursing god and her dumbass past self. Why was she so stupid? After she finally managed to muster up the strength to sit up—trying not to gag a few times—Kenma looked around for her phone. But something else caught her attention—namely the fact that she was completely topless, no bra in sight. She wasn’t wearing pants either but at least she had her underwear. Small victories. She was also in her room, so she at least had enough sense to get back home.

Did Kenma get lucky last night or had she thrown up all over herself? The latter explanation didn’t account for the missing bra though. God, it was cold in this room. She slowly got out of her bed. Her sense of balance was worse than ever and the thought of even bending down to pick a shirt off the ground felt too much. Kenma just rooted around the closet until she found an oversized t-shirt to wear.

She went to the bathroom to get rid of the taste of alcohol in her mouth.  As Kenma grabbed her toothbrush, she took in her appearance in the mirror. Her hair was a total disaster—something she was not looking forward to fixing. She smelt like alcohol and sweat but the thought of stepping into the shower made her head spin. Her eyes traveled to her neck. It had a huge fucking hickey on it.

Who the fuck—?

Kenma pushed the thought out of her head. She’d have a mental breakdown later. She made her way to the kitchen, hoping to find Kuroo. Her longtime friend was standing at the stove with a look of intense concentration. Before Kenma could step closer, the smell hit her and it made her want to throw up right then and there. Luckily, she clearly threw up everything last night as she just gagged. But it did cause Kuroo to turn her way when she heard Kenma hitting the wall.

“K-Kenma! You’re up!!” She said, as she practically jumped out of her skin.

Her friend’s loud voice would’ve been comforting any other time but Kenma only felt, well, pain stabbing her head. “Kuro…..you’re too loud.”

“Ah, yeah sorry.” Kuroo stared at her oddly (probably staring at the hickey) but Kenma wasn’t in the mood to try and read the other girl’s expression.

“Aren’t you hungover?”

“No.” There was Kuroo’s easy going smile. “I actually watch my limit unlike you. Here, drink some water.”

Kenma took the cup and began sipping it. Drinking water was an ordeal itself. Why did she drink so much again?

“Oh, yeah I saw Shrimpy make out with that scary girlfriend of hers. Weren’t you hanging out with her?”

“Yes.” Kenma muttered mutinously, now remembering why she decided to suddenly torture her liver. Kuroo had ditched her to hang with Bokuto so she decided to find Hinata before the party got too hectic. But it hadn’t taken long for Hinata to get distracted by Kageyama, thus leaving Kenma to her own devices. She hated when her friends did this. Drag her to some random party, made her leave her 3DS behind so she could “socialize” and ditch her halfway through. Kuroo wasn’t too bad with leaving Kenma as the black-haired girl usually knew when Kenma was ready to bail but Hinata—despite being well-meaning—tended to get distracted easily.

God, what even happened last night?

“Uh, so you hungry?” Kenma just glared at Kuroo who laughed at her misery.

“You took me back last night, right?”

“Yeah?” Kuroo said, sounding weirdly hesitant

“Do you remember if I made out with anyone?” Kenma wasn’t the type to make out with strangers—not that she judged people who did, but it was definitely out of character for her. Drunk Kenma was more sleepy and cuddly than horny.

Kuroo stood tense at the stove. Kenma blinked as she tried to make sense of Kuroo’s strange behavior. “Was it—one of your exes or something?” That seemed like the only logical conclusion for the odd atmosphere.

“No, I didn’t see who the person was.” Kuroo muttered.

That explained it. Kuroo was doing her over-protective routine again. “Well, I’m gonna go shower.”

Kuroo whipped to look at Kenma. “Eat something first.”

Kenma grimaced. “After my shower.” She could feel Kuroo’s eyes on her and turned to look at the other girl. Kuroo just looked away.

Weird

Last night was a disaster. Kuroo was a disaster.

How the fuck was she going to live with the knowledge that she made out with her best friend? She was a godless sinner that deserved to be burned at the stake. She took advantage of Kenma when the other girl cuddled up to her. Never mind that Kuroo was just as fucked up as Kenma—she still took advantage of her friend’s trusting nature. Kuroo hadn’t gotten drunk in a while now so last night had been bad. A disaster even.

Kuroo had luckily come to her senses and stumbled drunkenly into the bathroom to throw-up the rest of the alcohol to sober up quicker. Never had she been so thankful for her gag reflexes. Of course, sobering up just made her feel worse.

Not to be dramatic or anything but she totally got why people became raging alcoholics. It was way easier to ignore your feelings when you were drunk out of your minds. But you made stupider decisions so maybe it wasn’t worth it.

Kenma knew something was wrong despite being massively hung-over. When she finally recovered she’d probably ask Kuroo what the hell was going on and Kuroo knew there was no way she’d be able to lie to her face like that. She hadn’t ever been able to lie to Kenma. She was just too perceptive. But the other girl knew when to give Kuroo her space so she hoped that Kenma would let it go this time. That was the only reason she got away with not spilling her guts about her raging lesbian crush on the other girl.

She looked down to her frying pan and sighed. It had turned out slightly overcooked during her self-loathing episode—Kenma wouldn’t mind but Kuroo hated making anything less than perfect for her.

Kenma stepped back into the kitchen, toweling her hair dry. She felt significantly more like a human being after properly cleaning up. Her hair—which initially smelled like someone dumped a shot of vodka all over it—was washed and she no longer felt like that one time where she stayed up three days in a row to finish Dark Souls. She did not finish Dark Souls in those three days as it was rather difficult to react fast when you were sleep-deprived. Who knew?

In the shower, she spent a good deal of time wondering who the hell gave her that hickey. Was it a stranger or was it someone she knew? She contemplated asking Hinata about it but figured going to Kuroo would be the best place to start.

Kenma sat down at the dining table and Kuroo placed an omlette in front of her. She was grateful it looked rather plain as the thought of digesting much else seemed like an ordeal in it of itself. Kuroo watched her as she slowly dug into her meal. Kenma’s stomach was beginning to rebel but she wasn’t about to throw up now.

“Good?” Kuroo asked

“Mmh.” Kenma looked up to see Kuroo staring intently at her nails. “Kuro? Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Ah, I already did.”

Something felt off. “Did you see your ex at the party last night?”

“No? Why are you bringing him up?” Kuroo asked with a frown

Kenma shrugged and continued to eat her breakfast. Kuroo’s breakup had been a messy one but not many people knew the details. Apparently Bokuto knew and that bother Kenma. All she knew, herself, was that it had something to do with her.

“Did you see me with anyone?”

“Well I didn’t see you much in the beginning of the party.”

“But you took me home, right?” Kenma pressed.

“Uh, yeah?”

“You didn’t see me with anyone when you came to take me back?”

Kuroo rubbed her neck. “No…”

Wait…. “Did I have hickey at that time?”

Kuroo looked everywhere but at her. Surely not…

“Kuro, did you give me this hickey?”

To Kenma’s mild horror, tears began welling up in Kuroo’s eyes. “I-I’m so sorry Kenma. I’m really sorry. You can—you can do whatever you want with me. I’m just—“

“Wait, wait, wait…so let me get the events in order: you called a Lyft or something and we went back to our dorm. And then we ended up making out on my bed I’m guessing. And then you got horrified and went to wallow in your room, right?” Everything was starting to finally make sense to Kenma. She always felt as though she were missing something with Kuroo. She knew that a kiss wouldn’t bother Kuroo that much unless it had weight behind it—Kuroo hardly cared about kissing Bokuto after all.

“Yes….” If the kicked puppy look was saying anything, then it was clear that Kuroo expected the worst.

“Kuro….how long have we known each other?”

“I-is this a trick question?”

“No—I mean, why would you expect that I’d get mad?”

“Well because you got mad at Lev…”

“You and I both established Lev is an idiot.” Kenma sighed. “I’m just surprised I didn’t notice this about you.”

“Notice what?” Kuroo asked, slowly looking up at Kenma.

“You liking me.” At that, Kuroo buried her hands in her face and groaned.

“I didn’t want you to notice, that’s why.”

“Why? Because I don’t like you?”

Kuroo mumbled something intelligible in her hands but Kenma had an idea of what she was getting at.

“Kuro….you’re the exception to a lot of my rules. It’s why the thing I’m most surprised about is that I didn’t pick up on your crush.”

“Yeah?” Kuroo asked, peaking up from her hands.

“Yeah.” Kenma smiled, “I notice you all the time.”

Kuroo smiled for what felt like the first time that morning and Kenma’s raging headache didn’t feel as bad as before.

[rosies-pastimes]

you got this let's zoom zoom past the lessons ~ (I um haven't been able to play because my laptop's being a bit unstable ;-; looking to get it fixed!)

yayay (o´▽`o)

the fork- hope you enjoyed your zhongli kin moment hehe (I haven't collected things in my teapot for a few days oops) childe and Bennett are very thankful, and tohma (thoma?) better be when he comes home to you

ah yes the dance scene I remember being all 👁👁 at the manga panel- mm yes ✨ spice ✨

oh. mhm yes it runs in the family! (I keep thinking things that have already happened in the anime happen later but no, my perception of the timeline of events is a whole mess)

I want to watch ittt but school! I don't know when I'll finally start the anime but I will tell you :D

hasfgda yeah don't get bewitched by those pretty, pretty eyes- *slaps cheeks* snap out of it

ohh mm yeah :( hug? *opens arms* summer 2020 was like the best period of being in the haiku fandom from what I've seen quite a few people say, and unfortunately as one gains more fans, there will be some questionable ones in the mix :/

re: the second ask

ahaha yeah he just slipped away and disappeared into his room without so much as an explanation?? he was acting so suspicious and all too argh

true! I just thought it would've been nice to have been able to have a part where we just roam around the human world, but I suppose since the only actually characters we see aren't there we got back to devildom pretty quickly (game-wise)

I have no items for the cards (mostly the watches... and it's a little frustrating when you use quick clear and only get the gems !!) yess please I just want to get to that point in the lesson and actually see what happened let me win the battlesss

ahh but also trying out the different dialogue options is quite fun too sometimes! but of course, where there's a will there's a way

- 🎮

i've been playing cookie run kingdom the whole day 🥲 plus rushing through my modules ownxiaja BUT IM HERE NOW 🥰 still trying to salvage my teapot (◕ᴗ◕✿)

hold up- OBEY ME HAS A LAPTOP OPTION? :0 i slowed down a little too cuz my cards arent strong enough again zkanakak HELP HAHAHAHA I KEEP RUNNING OUT OF THE GAME CURRENCY 😭

I LITERALLY WENT 👁️👄👁️ leviathan where the heckie do you think you're going-

i would have been happy if the brothers themselves went into the human world to snatch mc away or something cuz they missed her skdjso HAHAHAHA THEN LUCI WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SO MAD AT THEM AND SO HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME

I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN THE THING YOU NEED ISNT IN THE REWARDS YOU GATHERED NOT EVEN ONE LIKE HELLO?? GIVE ME BACK MY AP 😭

there's one particular part that im itching to just look up because my heart kennat 🥲 it kennat 🥲

i always look myself in the mirror and go hoe behavior whenever the dialogue suggests that mc flirt with multiple brothers akzjossk HAHAHAHAHA OMG WHATS WRONG WITH ME HAHAHAHA

the zhongli kinnie moment isnt the most fun moment, any childe kinnies out there to pay my bills? 🥲 but not really because strong independent woman 😤

childe and bennett are, they can hit thingies pretty hard now 😌 (tohma and thoma are both correct bestie btw) HE WOULD 🥰 tohma = good man 🥰

YES TELL ME AND WE CAN SQUEAL OVER DOMI TOGETHERRRRR

it feels like he's staring into my soul sometimes with how he looks into the camera and stuff BUT PRETTY EYES so i dont look away 😌 they're glowy too hehe i like glowy things in case yoy couldnt tell

*accepts your hugs* i am touch starved someone hold me 🥲

yeeaaahh I AGREE there were so many tiktok audios, trends, and all the good stuff that i LOVED being part of a a great fandom sm, but now, like i said, im not as invested in it anymore, so thats a bummer :( i even bough haikyuu stickers that arent all used yet and are just chilling in my drawer, a kenma lamp (the greatest purchase of my life idc what my wallet was screaming at me) and like i even crocheted things in the color motifs of the schools i liked, namely and aoba johsai top and a nekoma hoodie, with cat ears even ksnsja THEY TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE 😭

i still love it though, defo a fave cuz it's one of the first anime fandoms i joined :)

[survivorforestofhorrors]

Episode 4: what's the harm in a lil flirting - Liam

Me @ this swap when I’m in such a GREAT position on this Cat tribe. Literally for one, my name was never out considering everyone asked me for what names I’ve heard. Then two, I literally have two alliances which none of them have the same people. And they weren’t groups I made, people came to me wanting me in them lmao. The first one is me, Daulton, Livingston, and Keaton. Then the second one is me, Jesse, and Maynor. I also have a pretty good relationship with Dan and me and Josh have gotten along well so far. If Zach wasn’t exiled, I definitely could have been close with him too. It’s whatever, at least I have people who have trust in me moving into this swap which is all I need. And I got some peeps on this other tribe who I worked with at the first tribal so this could be good.

So, just when the cat lovers were really starting to feel like a family, we end up getting swapped. Apparently the people that did the best in each puzzle category last round became team captains, and Dan chose me thank GOD. I trust Dan a lot, and I’m glad he sees me as an asset to his game and wants me on his tribe. I also have Livingston from OG Macneil, so that’s good because him and I had the alliance with Grace and Keaton. Hopefully they are good over their tribes, and we make it back together again. The new tribe, the Morgan Tribe, is the tribe I care the least about just based on who’s on it. I obviously want Keaton to make it through, and I like Jessie a lot, but the other 4 are a little less important to my game. The new Samhain tribe is honestly iconic too, and I want Macneil and Samhain to win immunity. Which speaking of immunity, it’s a fucking creative challenge which I do not excel in at all. I just hope the other people on this tribe are good at creative challenges or we’re screwed.

a tribe swap!!!! spicy. I really was not expecting that one, so good on you hosts for shaking things up.  So my strategy for the swap was to pick everyone I was close with originally lmao. very complex strategy, I know. I will accept player of the season now.  But seriously, I wanted to pick people that I felt would want to work with me and that would not target me specifically if there were to be someone to flip.  

I picked Liam because I feel like we connected pretty well on the original 21 person shit show. I had said to him that I wanted to work with him and Nik had told me he was someone to really have on my side.  I then picked Livingston because I'm really trying this story arc redemption moment with him from trinity. I also... genuinely like him. I feel like we vibe really well and are upfront with one another about game stuff. I hope he doesn't let the past cloud anything going forward, but for now he's definitely my #1.  I then picked Zac because I really got along with him early on as well. A great byproduct of this is that he told me he's super close with Austin, which means thats either information I can exploit, or use to my advantage. If we go to tribal, I could easily target them as a pair, OR join forces with them against someone else. We love accidental connections coming through. Then I picked Daulton because I feel like if I hadn't, he would have been mad. I know what y'all are thinking, why not pick your alliance member Keaton? Well, here's the thing, I don't want to be stuck with the same people all game and really feel like I need to branch out. I also feel like Keaton will understand this better than Livingston, hence picking Livingston over Keaton. Anyway, back to Daulton. Daulton cracks me the fuck up with his blunt delivery. I just have really enjoyed working with him and would love to work with him and livingston moving forward. And that brings us to Austin, who I didn't necessarily pick, but who I was fine with getting. We had some good convos pre swap and I am looking forward to seeing where his heads at in this game.

As far as the challenge is concerned, I think a lot of direction is gonna come from Livingston, which is fine by me. I really am not a creative soul, so I feel like I will be channeling my energy into Livingston's creative process and let him take the wheel. I think we have a good shot of being untouched into the next phase of the game but we'll see. Also, I feel like I basically found the key to all the advantages in the game tonight in my idol search, so trust and believe i'm about to fuck this game up ladies!

I had high hopes from our first new tribes and the way I play is short, simple, and sweet. Tim made a 5 person alliance of people i liked, and i thought that it was good. Liam is extremely solid, brandan is good not great, and Nik is typically okay on a short term basis. But i had my reserves on Nik, and of course Nik saw the opportunity to break me and Tim up, even though we arent this duo who will flip flop, fuck people up, we are old school people, we find our people we roll with them, we get to the end. We're loyal, but we aren't stupid. 

The minute I saw Tim was getting a lot of the votes and that it got too quiet, i knew the fix was in. Liam has been our informant and I went out of my comfort zone right into the mainchat ala Nik style. I called them out, and I had the immunity idol. The GTO play (Game theory optimum) would be to let Tim go and play the game by myself and break that perception and have an idol. But I AM LOYAL. I do not let my ride or dies sink in the game. I have never voted tim out of a game nor will i ever let him go home if i have anything to say about it.

We manuevered the vote dynamics, made sure the votes were on him, and we made Nik get to steppin. Moving forward it would have been very tough but now a swap is among us.

-

So we just swapped, and Tim was tribe captain. Exactly what we needed. Nik was 100% right, all i need is one swap and just a few rounds to mobilize my army and build a coalition. Give me time, and i will break people. Not in a bad way. I need people who will be dedicated, and will never waver, never flip. My militia is called the L&J team. Me, Tim, Liam, thats 3, 3/18 = 1/6. Now we recruit Zach, and we pull in grace. 5/18. 27% of the cast. I begin to like these odds once the numbers dwindle and we keep our people in the game.

I may seem like this menace, but I am extremely calculated and people who give me their word I will return the favor. Me and Tim are loyal people. But if you are halfway with me, or are against me we will fucking murder you in cold blood. 

Josh V is the next to go, Brandan worst case if we lose again. We aren't going anywhere anytime soon, we found our people, now we show the game what we can do.

You ever have those moments where you're hyped, but also not hyped at the same time? Well this is one of those times. I got a fucking idol!!!! but I also earned our tribe a disadvantage in the challenge in the process. So that basically means to me that you probably get a disadvantage any time you get an advantage. or are in the process of getting an advantage. So that means Tim probably got pretty close to getting something, or got something. I'm not sure if that means Zach got an advantage (exile) or if that was his disadvantage? Idk, I'm fucking nervous now, we're gonna have to pull out all the stops for the challenge. 

My worry about the challenge is that we don't really have a story line, we just have the slasher concept. I mean, realistically, I would love to have my idol for myself later in the game, but I would also rather get rid of it if we lose this comp because of my disadvantage... I'm very nervous now, and I think I fucked my game up with this whole idol search business. I hate everything lmao. Well played hosts, well played.

I feel so fucking guilty. I know there’s probably a bunch of people in here laughing at me and saying I’m an idiot, but I literally didn’t mean to get a fucking disadvantage. I’m really considering just leaving zac or Livingston my idol and getting voted out. I’m so fucking mad at myself.

-

So I’m feeling more into the game today now that I’ve slept on it. My plan is to fucking stay by any means necessary. I spoke with Livingston just now and told him about my idol. Obviously I know that could come back and bite me in the ass, but frankly I’m playing the idol tonight if I’m in danger or not so fuck y’all. But anyway, I do trust Livingston more than anyone else here. We have a good rapport and I know he’s a loyal guy. So lettuce pray that everything works out and I can idol out a big threat hehehe

-

Tribal in two hours. It’s me or zac. I’m voting zac and I’m playing my idol so square up with your idol boo

Well Well Well... I'm not having a good day! I heard it's Zac going... I REFUSE! He will not be going on my watch! Zac is an ICON who I love and adore! I was LITERALLY crying at the thought of voting him out so imma fight for him! I REALLY don't wanna lose anyone on this tribe but especially Zac!

In more positive news Daulton and I are the first Showmance of the season! I've always thought Daulton was cute so what's the harm in a lil flirting ☺️

Meep merp beep. Ive been soo not into the game that i need to focus again. I want to do well in this game but ill end up just letting myself down as always. 

Soo im haply our trailer won immunity. Im safe. 😊

Oh, poor Liam. :( He really doesn’t want Zac to be the vote tonight, but I think it’s pretty set in stone at this point unless and Idol is played. I don’t want to sound cocky though because I realize anything can happen, but I feel like Livingston, Austin, and I in addition to Dan are all on board to vote Zac. Liam feels like it’ll be a 3-3 vote which I’m not sure how that will play out unless Austin flips. I really don’t want to go to rocks this early in the game, but I told Dan I wouldn’t write his name, so if Livingston wants to flip, that’s on him, but I just don’t think I can do it. I just hope it is 4-2.

So we won immunity for once with the videos! Really don’t appreciate the hating on my editing skills/lack of appearance in the video @judges. It was editing or being filmed and I choose editing haha. Anyway, I’m feeling pretty comfortable with this group. Really hoping we don’t lose again. Splitting into 3 tribes really helps give us a chance. I like everyone on my tribe but they’re also super super quiet and we only talk during challenges which is a bit awkward...

[rawvocal]

im going to wait

it's going to take a long time

it's just a silly movie stop

i want to love someone

i cannot love someone

my talent allows me prove i have a soul

i can show myself im beautiful

i want to hold someone and care for them

i want them to know im capable of not only feeling for them but doing well for them

i dont want to be a walking party trick anymore

the purpose of me being a musician is to use my art to communicate things which inform, heal and transform the internal lives of others

i wish the same for how i interact with other people

it is not as simple as having a girlfriend

it is about allowing myself to accept myself

it is about being willing to share it with others

to feel less sorry for myself and exist in positive forward steps granted only by faith in my own abilities and the universe itself

i want to cry

i am angry that i cannot achieve what i want to

i don't want to be normal

i just want to be functioning

i want to be less afraid

i want to be less awkward and ashamed of my insecurities

i want to feel less behind like a little kid

i feel small

i want to cry but I dont I just feel anxious

i go on laughing too hard

i want to stop desperately looking for someone to have feelings for

saying all of this proves nothing im getting it out of my system

oh come on people are dying

grow the fuck up and STOP talking about it

either do something or dont

if not dont stand around wishing you did something about it, just keep your mouth shut and do your work

be sad about it but stop feeling so sorry for yourself if you can fix it

people have worse problems

fuck you

this is why you wont find someone

because u dont love urself enough

finding someone isnt all there is

but u make it so much more because you dont want to be alone

MAYBE try being a little less of a pussy and a little less sensitive

maybe grow up and recognize u probably arent going to date anyone for the next year

grow up and recognize you are TOO FUCKING WEIRD and absurd for people

your world view is too limited

your perceptions are skewed by ur own self depracation

you are not responsible enough to care for another human

you are too negligent and weak to handle the stress of a relationship

your personality is too fixated on being perfect to be loved by anyone in the ways you desire

you have no sense of humor you just say dumb shit

AND YET YOU EXPECT THiS TO HAPPEN

you're going to try and try and FAIL AND FAIL OVER AND OVER AGAIN

you're going to try so fucking hard and its NOT going happen for at least a few years

you are good but you are too hard on urself and thats very immature

it's why you arent a top notch pianist

they all know you dont know how to practice

you are good but it's just not going to happen, you cant find love or even just dating now, you are off the grid, you are not an option, you are just a novelty, a talented cuteish looking guy with pretty eyes and a dimple and that's all. You have depth but you are not kind enough to yourself to be willing to share that with a stranger under the fear of rejection. And until you can accept you are not good enough, you will never be good enough. It's weird since you know its true, but a small part of you disagrees with that. No girl wants to deal with this much doubt. Also stop measuring ur success by having someone to do it with. You suck anyways so dont expect it to happen. Just focus on being humble, get your work done, be kind to your friends and family, and sure, be sad about it. Just know you can always try, and even if you try it probably wont work out. It's a long waiting game and I dont think rejection would be good for you. You're too stupid to deal with it. Let those more capable take on that task.

i want to be a kid again so i can experience pure life

i want to go

i want to hug someone

i want to feel belonged

i want to give having someone less weight and importance

its 3:13am it's time for me to sleep

im very hungry

i miss that feeling

and i want it badly

but i know where it might lead me is not a path i can follow at all

i am not ready

ur classmates are ready

and it fucking sucks and it hurts and it makes me jealous

but ik im worth it for someone and when they come along ill just have to trust them on that

ill have to wait but i cant wait forever

ill give up now but i cant forever or else I'll be lonely

goodnight

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V7E5 Livewatch

Y’all know the drill here.

Hey, almost 20 minutes. Thats a good start.

Everyone in RWBY sleeps in the same locations they did in Beacon. Split by team. 

Also even their Atlas supplies pajamas look military inspired. 

YEAH! BREIFING ROOM AND KILLER MUSIC! I LOVE IT! Something tells me RWBY and JNR’s not gonna have the best time with this. 

MANTLE HAS A WALL! YES!

This whole opening of the episode has just been what I’ve wanted for these guys. This is GOOD. SHIT. 

Also Jaune and his harem. Cute. 

NEON! SHE LOOKS SO GOOD. And Flynts back too! And if Im not mistaken there’s the rest of their team. 

Cool to see Ren using cover properly. I guess open field battles like Vytal arent the only training Huntsmen do. 

Nora can ride her hammer like some kind of motorcycle. Thats...pretty legit.

Neon’s semblance has expanded a bit. Must have been training. 

Neon’s black eye heals almost instantly. Either she has some kind of regenerative semblance or aura doesnt stop damage fully. Im intrigued.

What the fuck is with Nora breaking time and space like this. Is she literally from Mantle or some shit? 

Also looks like Oscars part of JRN now. JORN? JNRO?

I dont really buy how driving a truck across the tundra doesnt take as much Dust as an airship. I GUESS maybe its more efficent to drive? Also why the fuck do they have AKs driving everything. 

Oh, penguins.

Also, ouch Penny. Ouch. Ironwood, bruh, you gotta eas up a bit

Ahh, Clover and Qrow doing the old soldiers standby; cards. Lots of cards.  Also, Qrows “shut up and deal” is...probably the best line I’ve heard out of him yet. Say what you will about them axing Vic but this new guy? I like him more. He...feels more alive. More HUMAN. Vic just sounded steryotypically gravely.

Some good character building for these two. I really do hope Clover doesnt die. Seeing him gently helping Qrow be a normal human being is...really nice.

 Clover saying “keep an eye on our six” pleases the military side of me. THEY HAVE CLOCK POSITION CALL OUTS!

Penny taking it seriously is so cute. 

AAANNNNDDDD Robyn Hill, everyone. Rooster Teeths attempt to give Mantle teeth. 

And lamb girl from last episode too! YAY SHES BACK! I love her. Her weapon looks like some kind of halbard/assault rifle. 

And the Dust mines shielded off with a barricade of metal fencsing. 

Ahhhh here we go...Huntress attack!

HA! SHE EVEN SAID TEETH! Very subtle, RT.

Okay so is Robyn actually from Mantle or is she from elsewhere? I thought she was from Atlas. 

UGH. I HATE HER VOICE. I HATE IT! I like her character but her VOICE JUST...NO! WHERES THE GROWL! WHERES THE BITE!?

Again the mention of drones. Do they mean the AKs? Cause I dont see no MQ-1 Predators or MQ-101s or nothing.

NGL, Mantle needs more than supplies to fix those walls. You need an overhaul and some FUCKING CERAMITE

Also on this why the fuck is Mantle and Atlas constantly under seige? WoR said Grimm freeze solid in Solitas. Did they retcon that shit?

Hmm. Bare index finger. Bowmans glove. Fitting considering her origin. 

Possible relation between Robyn and Clover? They look like they know each other. 

Fucking politics. CAN WE SKIP THE FUCKING POLITICS?

Oh Penny. Good timing. Also, very impressive entrance.

Cloaking. Mixed semblance or tech? Either way its almost completely effective except against Penny.

Huh, lots of bo-staf style weapons. Also, Johanna is apperently a Color Name.  Hehehehhe. HEHEHEHEHEHE. JOHANNA MASON LIVES!

Ahh, cross-bow bo-stafts/quarter staffs. Interesting. Archaic, but interseting.

Okay what even is that wall supposed to stop? Lamb-girls taller than it is!

So yeah, the uplifted wings emblem is Robyns. Imma steal that for Mantle’s resurgence forces, I think...

And now we leave the intresting and into...training. Alright, sure.

Damn Winter, stop being so tsundere.

Its cool to see that Atlas has tactical training rooms like this. A friend of mine was thinking they had them. Good to see him right.

Also, convinent chair hologram block is conveneint.

Weiss being oddly perceptive...

For being a planet that is not Earth, Atlas’s hospitals really do look like ours. Down to the scrubs and name-tags. And the SHITTY lightning

Oh fuck me, transfer tanks. Yeah because THAT SHIT worked out so well last time didnt it?

And that must be the current Winter Maiden. Oh boy, I know where THIS is going.  Did I ever mention how much I HATE the Maidens?

Freija. Fitting name I Think

Destiny, choice, blah blah blah okay moving on please

The ticker under Jaque’s bullshit is almost more interesting than what hes saying himself. 

Ahh, clever. He’s smacking Mantle and making it look towards Ironwood.  Basically; elect me, or I wont give you Dust. Clever, underhanded, and really fucking obvious.

I dont know who you are, purple guy, but hell yeah, and let this shit ROCK!

[simplerperfectionist]

ive noticed finally, although i sort of knew about it on a sub or semi conscious level before, that i have a pattern of selecting someone (often a boy) to latch onto and become very close to and to secretly harbor feelings for. i did this- oh my god!- i did this with logan in pre-k, with mason, with graeme, i think briefly with kyle?, definitely with joe, then with asa, with sam, jesus i tried to start it with james, i absolutely did want to start that with austin in detroit, and now i can feel myself being tugged or urged to do it with austin in my class. maybe there are others but those are pretty significant. yeah i think i do it with girls in a different way, and i think the sidekick thing that i do with girls is actually truly mine, a result of the ruth breakup and my perception of my own self worth and my perception of them and what our relationship should be/what they want from me. and its fixed with a perception shift. but the boys thing is truly nonsensical, like i cannot explain it, i dont understand where it originates from, it doesnt feel rooted in me, like it feels like an external force and its SUCH a loop cycle, its the same thing every single time! anyway just now it occurred to me that its likely an akashic imprint, because it feels too personal and vivid and loopy to be ancestral. anyway it definitely plays with my feelings of self worth and also triggers competition. i saw that reflected in rose two days ago when she was showing off about how well she knew austins body, its this prideful thing of i know you i know you i know you better than the others. which makes me special, makes me chosen. im not special alone but im special because you are special and you have chosen me. damn that is the basis for a nasty codependent relationship. motherfucker isa did that to me!!!! less with being special and more with being good or redeemable. its projecting your self worth outside of you onto someone you deem worth determining yours. its honestly, oh my god, its like being the peasant or servant girl beloved by the prince. thats the dynamic. or the longed for dynamic. but they never return the love, they always see me as a sister, and then i become a confidant and a wingman and nothing more. and then i feel used, but im not really being used i just feel that way because i placed expectation on the bond we created, and i wasnt honest about the nature of my feelings from the start. its not even that i wasnt verbally honest, that i didnt tell them, its more that there was always a layer of manipulation to our relationship where i was ingratiating myself and like collecting closeness points so that i could turn around and cash them in as romantic love rather than being in the dynamic and being honest in my presence and feeling my way through it. if i was truly present i probably wouldnt even build those feelings anyway because i would sense that they arent there with me, that theres no match to it. its cowardly but i fooled myself into believing its noble and looked down on people who were more forward. you do not have to manipulate your relationships. anyone or anything who is meant for you will be there with you and it will flow naturally into what it should be, manipulation is resistance and lack of faith and lack of self love. i am worthy! i love myself. i am love, i am light, i am a whole and complete and perfect expression of god, a fractal of light, and i attract toward me other whole and perfect and complete souls who wish to create an experience or experiences together. i welcome them all in with openness and curiosity and joy and love and i place no expectations on permanence or depth, i meet each experience as a single whole and complete one which offers me an opportunity for expansion. amen. 

[fmservers]

Nyca Partners’ Hans Morris hunts for great fintech investments amid volatility

Hans Morris is a name to know in fintech, and as finance and tech sectors prepare for tougher time next year, he has some incisive thoughts to share about the kinds of companies that will succeed (or not) in a financial downturn. The managing partner of investment firm Nyca Partners, Morris also serves as the chairman of the board of Lending Club and is a director of other start-ups including AvidXchange, Boomtown, Payoneer and SigFig. At Nyca, which is on its third fund, Morris spends much of his time meeting with entrepreneurs focused on payments, credit models, digital advice and financial infrastructure.

But unlike many successful fintech VCs, Morris doesn’t have to read about how Wall Street’s history influenced the trajectory of those sectors. He played an active role in shaping them. His experiences — heading Smith Barney’s FIG effort (at 29 years old), overseeing Citigroup’s institutional businesses, serving as president of Visa and advising companies at General Atlantic — have also provided him with an unparalleled financial services rolodex. And for those who believe that financial history rhymes, Morris’ opinions are now especially welcome. Fintech may be entering a new, post-financial crisis phase in which the low-hanging fruit has been picked and macro headwinds outweigh tailwinds. In the discussion below, Morris talks candidly about how he’s approaching investing next year and how he’s viewing fintech M&A possibilities. He was also eager to share his thoughts on ethics in financial services (a favorite topic), the prospects for challenger banks, why he’s branched out into real estate tech, the future of blockchain and some of his favorite bank CEOs.

Gregg Schoenberg: Hans, it’s always good to see you, but I’m especially glad to be sitting down with you now, given that the financial world is convulsing at the moment. Before we get into that, though, I want to kick off with something else: Do you buy into the idea of techfin vs. fintech?

Hans Morris: I don’t. My basic organizing principle, which you and I have discussed before, is around declining information costs. As these costs decline, it disrupts the traditional profit pools in financial services. It’s always been like that. What I would say is that in recent times, some tech companies have done a very good job at building a trusted relationship with consumers, and in some cases with businesses. That trusted relationship obviously provides a significant competitive advantage of information. But that advantage lessens later on. There are so many examples we could point to of companies that were ‘it.’ Then, suddenly, they say, ‘Oh no, our tech is expensive, creates a bad experience and will cost a lot to fix.’

GS: Let’s talk about the present. As you know, the Fed has been tightening, equities are hemorrhaging, the yield curve is getting spooky and talk of a recession is intensifying. To me, Lending Club, right or wrong, was one of the original poster children of the post-crisis fintech boom. But now, I think we’re in a regime change and that the next crop of successful financial innovators will look a lot different. What’s in store for an area like credit delivery?

HM: In credit delivery, I think it’s now pretty well-realized by investors, and certainly realized by capital markets investors, that credit delivery requires capital. So today, I feel that anyone who’s going to be successful in credit intermediation needs to have a very good understanding of balance sheet risk, liquidity risk, and capital requirements. I pay a lot of attention to capital requirements, and the ability to fund something in the teeth of a crisis.

GS: Let’s say we enter a recession next year and see continued volatility across the capital markets. I understand that each recession and bear market is different, but with the fresh capital you’ve closed on, where are you looking to go on offense?

HM: Among the thousands of fintech companies that have gotten some funding, there are companies that are really struggling to get their Series B or Series C done.

GS: Names that have lost their momentum?

HM: Yes. They’ve lost their momentum, and they’ve lost the perception of momentum among venture investors. But in some cases, these companies still possess some very good fundamentals, yet the valuations are a lot more attractive. If that dynamic becomes even more extreme, I think there could be some good opportunities.

GS: Isn’t it also true that the fintech names that suck up a lot of the venture money aren’t always the best underlying businesses?

So when you talk about high-valuation companies, I think it’s unrealistic for banks to be acquirers.

HM: It’s an interesting dynamic. Generally, as long as companies can continue to raise capital, they will keep going even if that isn’t necessarily a rational thing to do. But in some cases, where you see a bunch of companies pursuing a similar strategy, it would be better to pursue a merger because we don’t need tons of companies doing personal financial management, etc…

GS: Do you see the big banks with strong balance sheets, the JP Morgans of the world, getting the green light from regulators to be more aggressive in M&A?

HM: Regulators have clearly been one reason there hasn’t been more activity. The second thing is goodwill. Keep in mind that for a bank, goodwill is a 100% reduction to tangible Tier One capital. So even for JP Morgan to say, ‘We’ll take a billion dollars of our Tier One capital and invest it in a company with no income and maybe positive EBITDA, but maybe not—

GS: —That would take a ton of capital or a ton of conviction.

HM: Well, that company would have to be a very powerful growth engine or solution. So when you talk about high-valuation companies, I think it’s unrealistic for banks to be acquirers. Where banks can be acquirers, and this is what we’ve seen, is where you have a company valued at $60 million, maybe a $100 million, etc…

GS: A Clarity Money.

HM: Yes, a company where the acquisition moves a bank much further along in a development cycle. Where the the bank can say, “Instead of us taking two years to get our real product out, we can get out a state-of-the-art product right now, and it comes with a great team and DNA. That’s appealing.

GS: Appealing, but realistic?

HM: It’s hard to pull off. Often, the team leaves, everything dissipates, and the acquirer ends up writing off the whole thing.

GS: Moving forward, who do you think is poised to make M&A work?

HM: There’s a couple of examples where it’s worked. One is PayPal, which in recent times has done an excellent job of acquiring things and integrating talent into the company. I’m quite impressed in terms of how Bill Ready, who is now COO, Dan Shulman and the management team have changed the tech profile of PayPal.

GS: Well, they’re not a 200-year-old financial institution founded on a winding alley in downtown New York.

HM: Yes, but it was very old-school Silicon Valley, and they had a lot of technical debt. Of course, they had this great mafia 20 years ago, but all those people are gone. I don’t think there’s a single person in the top 100 at PayPal that was there 15 years ago.

GS: Let’s talk specific themes. You’ve already mentioned personal financial management, which I share your skepticism about. What’s your take on the prospects for challenger banks?

HM: I think we’re likely to have a war for deposits with too many different types of firms competing for deposits. Just look at the United States last year. All of the deposit growth we saw was explained by Bank of America, Wells Fargo, and JP Morgan Chase. Everyone else shrank. But if you have Monzo and Revolut come to the US and you look at Acorns, MoneyLion, Chime and fifteen other prepaid models or fully chartered bank models, they’re all going to have a pretty slick interface, and they’re all going to be out there competing for deposits.  

GS: How about the robos and free trading platforms?  As you know, a lot of the younger customers on these platforms haven’t experienced a sustained period of tumultuous equity market conditions.  

I pay a lot of attention to capital requirements, and the ability to fund something in the teeth of a crisis.

HM: I think a great majority of American households should be using a roboadvisor. However, the question is around the relationship between the customer acquisition and the revenue opportunity. In fact, a big part of our thesis with SigFig was to really help drive the pivot over to enterprise-based customers. But generally, and without knowing the details, my sense is that Betterment, Wealthfront and maybe Personal Capital have enough brand to get to the scale necessary to be self-sufficient. I think most of the others are not in that position.

GS: Turning to the mortgage and broader real estate sector, is your view that even if we have a deepening downdraft in housing, the real estate start-ups backed by you and others can do well anyway? Because they are essentially taking an industry stuck in the 1980s and ’90s and dragging it into the modern era.

HM: There’s a lot of room for tech improvement in real estate, and that includes residential real estate as well as institutional real estate. The problem with real estate, and mortgage-related models, is that the capital needs are also significant. So if you end up owning property, the bill adds up very quickly.

GS: I guess it depends on where a company buys them.

HM: True. Look, we remain bullish on them, but I share your concern that if activity stops or if you start having real decreases in property values in certain sectors, some of these companies may end up holding the bag.  

GS: When I saw the Ribbon deal, I was wondering how you and other backers looked at the opportunity at this point in the cycle.

HM: Well, for one thing, you can estimate the likelihood of someone getting a mortgage pretty efficiently. You can be right 99 percent of the time, but even if you’re only right 90 percent of the time, you’re going to be fine. That’s because the certainty that the company offers to the customer is worth it. They also have a great management team and a CEO who is really smart. They’re not naive.

GS: So given all the hype and ups and downs we’ve seen in blockchain, I’m wondering if you remain a long-term blockchain guy.

HM: Here’s the simple fact: The whole financial services industry is composed of ledgers. The reconciliation between entities of that information is a significant expense, particularly in the capital markets businesses. But I don’t buy into the view that it’s going to work better in all cases. The evidence so far is that it works well in some cases.

GS: Where can it work well?

HM: Distributed ledgers can work well when having synchronous data is an essential attribute, and when speed is not necessarily a central attribute.

GS: So, even if the implementation takes longer than the the hype machine suggested it would, financial institutions will get there?

Because money attracts crooks.

HM: They will get there. The cost of change is very, very high. The benefit of it is real. The question is, ‘How’s that cost of change compare to the ongoing benefit?’ In enterprise applications, the ones that will succeed are not ones where you say, ‘Lets rebuild everything within the core functions,’ because the cost and complexity are too great. The much better way is to start at the edge of an enterprise delivering immediate value, and then become an architecture for more things to move over to that.

GS: It’s easier said than done…

HM: If you take the capital markets area, I think it often requires an individual who has a bigger-than-life personality and the leadership skills to match it.

GS: Speaking of leadership, let’s talk about that within the context of fintech, where, as you know, we’ve seen mixed outcomes. You and I have talked a fair bit about how fintech isn’t like other tech sectors, because you’re dealing with money and livelihoods.

HM: Yes, and the activities are regulated, for a very good reason.

GS: When you look at a deal, does the character of the leader trump everything else?

HM: I’d say that the character and capabilities of a leader make a big difference. And to me, in financial services, the errors made, whether it’s 10 years ago or today, are similar. I mean, you have to tell the truth. You have to.

GS: Why is it so important to you?

HM: Because money attracts crooks.

GS: On that note, when I look at some of those who subscribe to the whole blitzscaling ethos, I see it as incompatible with our current climate and especially problematic to financial services. Blitzscaling doesn’t endorse breaking the law, of course, but this whole idea of consciously letting fires burn is a recipe for disaster in today’s financial services sector, right?

HM: Yes, I think so. I’d add that we have a rule in our firm: Don’t invest in any business model where you’re tricking the customer into a profitable relationship. But unfortunately, I feel that there are many business models that do just that.

GS: That’s a bold rule given that terms of services agreements remain dark dens of iniquity.

HM: Well, it’s more than just that. Look at Robinhood. I think it’s a remarkable company made up of unbelievable entrepreneurs. But I do feel that if you say, ‘Payment for order flow is the business model,’ or ‘Margin lending is the business model,’ you’ve got to spell that out. I mean, ‘payment for order flow?’ Most people would be like, ‘What does that mean?’

GS: You might as well be speaking in Ancient Greek.

A VC once said to me that we have too much knowledge about some things. I think there’s some truth to that.

HM: Exactly. I feel, in financial services, the best companies, the most successful long-run stories, will do the right thing for their customers, always. That also means not making a high-profile release of a new product, like a high-interest checking and savings account yielding way above anyone else, before you’ve actually checked with the regulators.

GS: On that latter reference, how accountable is Robinhood’s board for the company’s recent blunder?

HM: I honestly don’t know in what way the board was involved in this, but I think it’s a good example of where a board should put the brakes on an idea until the risks are clear. Sometimes management teams, and investors, don’t want to hear that, but it’s an essential role for financial services companies.

GS: In your career, you have seen your fair share of financial icons rise and fall. Have you ever passed on a deal that wound up being a huge success because something didn’t smell right?

HM: Yes, we have passed on things that turned out to be really good investments, but that’s part of our equation.

GS: In 1997, Howard Marks—

HM: —He’s fantastic, isn’t he?

GS: He’s phenomenal. In one of his famous memos, he asked ‘Are you an investor? Or are you a speculator?’ Given that there are quite a few VCs who have come to fintech in recent years, I’m wondering if you see a lot of speculators.

HM: Most of the folks that I interact with are investors, not speculators. The crypto stuff is pure speculation by almost everybody.

GS: Yes. I wasn’t implying that we discuss crypto.

HM: To the core of your question, I’ll tell you this: There’s this very, very successful VC investor I had a debate with over a deal. My point was that the company in question would need to raise a lot of capital to scale. But that long-term consideration wasn’t especially relevant to him, because he felt the company would have options down the road. We passed on the deal, but now, I look back and regret that decision.

GS: Are you suggesting that you could benefit from having a little more of a speculative instinct?

HM: A VC once said to me that we have too much knowledge about some things. I think there’s some truth to that.

GS: I’m sure that your institutional knowledge has been an important asset on many other occasions. I’ll move on to our last topic, Hans, because I know you have a fund to manage. You know all of the big bank CEOs, right?

HM: Yes.

GS: There’s Jamie Dimon, who defies easy description. At Goldman, you’ve got a banker as CEO. At Morgan Stanley, you’ve got an ex-management consultant. At Citibank, you’ve got—

HM: —You’ve got Corbat. Michael is just an excellent manager who gets things fixed. It’s interesting: Jamie is a fantastic manager of people too, but Jamie brings in his team. Corbat is very good at taking on an existing team and just making them better. Brian [Moynihan] is also really good. I mean he was a lawyer, and when he got the job, I had no idea what he was like. But I’ve noticed that the people who have worked for him are really loyal.

GS: I think the CEOs of the big banks tend to be a reflection of the times in which they operate, right? We went through the period of the trader CEO, which is now gone. As you look down the road, what are the heads of the big banks going to look like?

HM: I’ll answer that question by turning you to Microsoft. What explains the turnaround there? Is it because Satya [Nadella] is such an amazing engineer? No; he’s a great people person. He’s a fantastic manager who put in place a high-quality decision process, which is key to managing a complex organization.

GS: Implicit in my question is whether or not these organizations are going to be as big and complex as they are now. Specifically, I’m referring to the supermarket model that you were involved in helping to construct. Does that remain in place?

HM: Keep in mind that liquidity is a very, very important aspect of a financial marketplace, and having access to core liquidity that doesn’t change frequently is very important. The professional money obviously switches very quickly. But things like core deposits, pension flows and corporate cash tend to have the longest time-frames to build access to. But when a bank has access to deposits that don’t move much, it enables it to fund the liquid financial assets. That’s so important for when you hit a liquidity crisis.  

GS: So the big bank model is here to stay?

HM: Yes, I think it’s going to be around for a long time.

GS: Well on that note, Hans, I wish you luck in navigating whatever the future brings. Thanks for sitting down with me and sharing your wisdom.

HM: It’s always a pleasure speaking to you, Gregg. Thank you as well.

This interview has been edited for content, length and clarity.

Via Gregg Schoenberg https://techcrunch.com

[tumblunni]

ALSO TO FIX EXCELLUS

Because tangeants again lol

Recognise that its fuckin stupid and bigoted to expect us to believe someone is a villain INSTANTLY after seeing that they're queer, before they even do anything. Don't spend your entire damn game having the characters go "eww its that disgusting person of ambiguous gender we should kill them because gross" rather than.. Yknow.. "Excellus fuckin murdered those people". Recognise that literally doing this is gonna make your character LESS villainous and MORE sympathetic long before you finally get to goddamn showing them do anything bad except say "ohoho i wanna be a princess". And it'll make bunni REALLY PISSED OFF because nobody wants to feel sad for an asshole murderer yet THAT SADNESS IS FOREVER ENGRAINED IN MY SOUL NOW

Seriously fuckin hell it even made the heroes look less heroic! I felt like Excellus was almost justified in becoming a murdering selfish monster if she spent her entire life being treated that way by both sides in this big good or evil conflict. Why the fuck should she give a shit if she's being degraded? Like FUCKIN OBVIOUSLY murdering people and wanting to conquer a random japanese country as a mad dictator is not a remotely logical reaction to being misgendered. But like they could have changed some stuff and made a perfectly good sympathetic villain who gets manipulated by the bigger bad because of her sad past of being treated like shit and like she feels like this is her only option to be herself. And then maybe you can reignite her hope in the world and her self esteem and moral centre and help her redeem herself and team up with you to take out the real horrible fucks with no sympathetic motives. Instead she's friggin played as THE one who's evil cos she has no sympathetic motive. Like that's her whole Thing, she's supposed to just be selfish and greedy and horrid. Your damn bigotry somehow failed your own story as well as failing all trans people ever!

Or like yknow.. If you want an asshole fuckboi then actually write an asshole fuckboi. Scrubby scrub the trans = bad shit from this plotline and you do indeed have a selfish monster who murders a bunch of innocent people and gets his just desserts. You had a ready made simple character archetype and you were so preoccupied shoving your transphobic screed into your game that you fucked it up!

So yeah i think either make this goofy ohoho trans auntie a good character, make the asshole ohoho bad character a cis man, do both at once, or like even i'm not opposed to having a trans villain exist but like seriously make them a synpathetic villain. If they're the only trans character in the plot its already gonna send a bad message if theyre in the role of "worst most underhanded jerk villain", even if it WASNT also transphobic as fuck. So a sympathic trans villain or adding more LGBT characters so it doesnt seem like this one individual was designed to make a statement on your entire feelings for a minority.

ALSO

like seriously please do not do this stupid thing of mooshing every stereotype together from every LGBT identity and acting like theyre all the same thing?? Like man i fuckin HATE that anime trope that yknow.. The gay man says all this trans stuff cos he's ~just that flambouyant~ Like being a drag queen is what 100% of gay men are, 24/7, and anyone saying theyre a trans woman is just one of those drag queens who's really getting into character. Or just.. I dunno. I cant even wrap my head around what train of logic must have led to that stereotype in the first place! And its so fuckin annoying as a queer person trying to talk about why this is bad queer stereotyping, it just makes me extra sad to straight up not know what pronouns to use for the character so i feel like i'm being just as horrible to them as their creators were. Like man i've only settled on going for "she" for Excellus cos after years of looking into it it does seem like the original japanese was indeed specifically using stereotypes of trans women and not trans men or nonbinary people. Though all languages do seem to call the character male it seems pretty strongly to be a "i believe that trans women are men and can never be women" kind of thing, rathe rthan the character herself calling HERSELF male. She calls herself a woman in both english and japanese, and its just that the english has everyone else use male pronouns for her and added the non-canon "explanation" that she only acts like a trans woman because she has something wrong with her balls. (Ugh!) And in japanese on top of calling herself a woman she also uses feminine (and specifically trans/drag queen coded) variants of "I", and other common speech pattern traits used for negative stereotypes of trans women. Though again we do have other characters calling her a disgusting perverted man instead. Sigh!

Ok ok ALSO BIGGEST FUCKIN FIX! dont draw the character like a horrible distorted cariacature goblin in an entirely different art style to everyone else. Seriously its so annoying how they tried to make you agree with "excellus is disgusting just for acting queer" by LITERALLY DRAWING A DISGUSTING CHARACTER. If you take away the weirdass overdetailed horror movie monster face, there is nothing ugly or even "manly looking" about her! She's just like somebody's perfectly normal chubby aunt or something. You could go out in any street all over the world and see five of her! I hate it cos its almost like psychological manipulation or something? Like i've seen so many lets players who arent bigoted but merely oblivious still agree that excellus is ugly and disgusting and comical because of it, cos all the implications of transphobia/homophobia flew over their heads and all they saw was a character drawn to look monsterous. And just.. This is so common. Its the overwhelming japanese stereotype of trans women. Draw them looking INFINATELY MORE MANLY than the cis male characters. So manly that it really hammers home how "obvious" it is that a man in lipstick or dresses "just looks wrong" and of course there's NO way they could ever pass and ha ha look how deluded they are that they think they look pretty. It's horrid. It really is. Seriously I like to point at Tabitha from Pokemon ORAS for a good counter example, cos he's also an ambiguously transgender character from a game that came out around the same time and by some weird coincidence they look very similar. Except for the literal entire face. The literal entire exact same face, just its drawn hideous and distorted on the one who's supposed to be a negative trans stereotype, and drawn exactly like everyone else on the positive one. And there's not one example in the whole game of anyone calling Tabitha ugly because he looks trans, or even insulting his weight or anything. Same damn character design, just drawn without bias and treated like a human being. I mean seriously right down to them having the small "evil eyes" but with Tabitha he's always drawn with them in a perpetual sort of happy face and then his pose with them looking similar to Excellus is supposed to be a BADASS MOMENT of this comic relief villain showing his worth! And hw literally has red eyes on top of it! His design is even MORE "evil" yet just not drawing it as a stereotype entirely changes the player's perception and he became beloved by many. Whereas with Excellus even the trans people in the audience couldnt relate to her and just felt fuckin sad.

Oh also i guess Excellus is implied to be a trans woman and Tabitha is implied to be a trans man? But i don't think game freak was trying to say anything about trans men being more valid or whatever, cos the first canonical LGBT character of any sort was a trans woman npc in the battle maison. And tabitha being trans isnt really confirmed as clearly as she was. i hope someday theyre able to confirm an LGBT main cast member but until then i will forever hold onto the glimmer of hope that was given to me by Beauty Nova.

Also seriously Tabitha and Excellus both also look EXACTLY LIKE ME IN REAL LIFE so I kinda took Excellus extra hard and latched onto the Tabitha headcanon so much more because it was good healing after all that nonsense. Tho I also did considee nonbinary Tabitha at the time, because his japanese name is a gender neutral one that's merely like 75% female, rather than a 100% feminine one. But then his old RSE design was very masculine so i think maybe a trans man is what they were trying to imply if they did indeed do it on purpose. Anyway i probably would have translated his name as Ashley cos it has the same "technically neutral but more popular with girls" aesthetic while also keeping the same fire pun as Homura. I have no idea how on earth Tabitha is supposed to be a joke, honestly. Tho i meam maybe he's just the one type specialist on the entire poke-earth who doesnt have a joke name?

ANYWAY thank you terrible transphobic stupid manga i read today for reminding me that i love Tabitha. And also the developers love Tabitha. And also all the characters in universe love him, like seriously the only difference between the devon dialogue of him and Shelly is that they mention the other scientists nicknamed him tabitabi. And its so cute how seriously they said it too?? Its like "our boss tabitabi,the most feared and respected genius man".

Lovv dat tabb

[fitnesswomenshealth-blog]

Why diets aren’t working for you – or anyone else

New Post has been published on https://cialiscom.org/why-diets-arent-working-for-you-or-anyone-else.html

Why diets aren’t working for you – or anyone else

When she was 9, Stacey Gorlicky grew to become obsessed with how she seemed.

She would look at other men and women ingesting a slice of pizza and believe, “Why can they consume pizza and cake and carbs and retain weight off?”

To relieve her fears, which only grew when she grew to become a teen, she started off yo-yo dieting.

Browse Extra: Canada’s weight problems price has doubled since the 1970s. What transpired?

It is quick to get caught searching for the following speedy fix, she states. She exercised, tried out a new food plan, around-exercised, then in excess of-ate and binged, then in excess of-ate and binged once again. It obtained to the point wherever Gorlicky, whose eating problem propelled her into her recent career as a registered psychotherapist specializing in dealing with habit, could no extended inform when she was hungry.

She was in pursuit of a flat stomach and “nothing was performing for me.”

In hindsight, Gorlicky can trace how easy it was for a need to be skinny to override a drive to be wholesome. It’s a rapid slide, but recovering from an eating condition isn’t. Gorlicky has been in restoration for 12 a long time now.

Read through Far more: Is bad wellness a problem you can deal with by on your own? Not when you really do not have dollars

“It’s genuinely about hoping to get the psychological element below regulate,” she claims. It is an taking in ailment, Gorlicky describes, but it infects your brain, skewing your sense of self, hindering your effectively-being and your joy.

“It took a long time.”

At a time when there is in no way been additional facts about how to reside a healthy way of life, Canadian being overweight charges are 2 times as superior as they were in the 1970s and Canadians are also progressively struggling from serious diseases like hypertension and diabetic issues. With its Canada the Sick sequence, Worldwide Information is searching at what is likely on, and why expertise isn’t more than enough.

Check out: Canada’s chief public well being officer points out what contributes to Canada’s significant obesity charge

The unavoidable truth is that our globe is not intended to make it effortless to be wholesome, authorities say, and weight loss plans are not the rapid deal with they are portrayed as.

“People never go to slumber at evening wanting to make harmful possibilities and hoping to gain pounds,” says Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, author of The Food plan Fix and founder of the Bariatric Healthcare Institute, a nutrition and bodyweight administration centre.

“It’s just this frequent barrage of nutritional chaff … nobody stands a probability in that natural environment except they have really lucky genes or reside very different lives than what are now deemed to be usual.”

Normal is a processed meals marketplace that isn’t invested in healthful feeding on, says Dr. Vera Tarman, an addictions health-related skilled and writer of Foodstuff Junkies: The Fact About Foods Dependancy. It is a environment the place hyper-palatable meals with addictive components like sugar and flour are in quick, often affordable access.

The remedy we preserve grasping at is diet program, Tarman claims. That’s mirrored in the figures.

View: How to survive on a vegan diet

Body weight reduction is a multibillion-greenback marketplace, for every 2017 figures from market place study organization IBISWorld. That same 12 months, a nationwide poll from Insights West found that virtually 50 percent of Canadians experienced tried a food plan someday the year prior in a specific bid to drop fat.

An Ipsos poll carried out for World-wide News last thirty day period yielded very similar final results.

Browse Extra: Diet regime sector expands correct alongside with North The united states waistlines

Forty per cent of those surveyed explained they adopted a particular diet plan. Calorie counting topped the listing, adopted by a vegetarian eating plan, Excess weight Watchers, some sort of cleanse or detox, and the very low-carb, superior-fats Keto eating plan. Females and younger grownups concerning the ages of 18 and 35 have been a lot more very likely to have attempted various eating plans.

The problem, Tarman claims, is that dieting is not a solution for excellent health and fitness.

“Diets are not sustainable, healthful life,” she suggests. “It’s kind of like a food plan is a Band-Aid to a poor residing natural environment.”

Diets are not inherently unhealthy, clarifies Kat Kova, a therapist at KMA Remedy who also operates as a researcher at the Taking in Problems Working day Healthcare facility at Toronto Common Hospital. The difficulty is the typical community has mostly twisted them into a device for fat decline — the benefits of which can be harmful.

“Many people today will use their scale to measure their progress towards their goal when they’re dieting,” Kova suggests. “But that can direct to an obsession with and a frustration with the figures as they go up and down.”

You drop, you gain, you lose, you gain, she suggests, and that is “often at the cost of [your] wellbeing.”

Study Much more: Nutritious food items are distinct depending on personal: analyze

Freedhoff thinks a enormous section of the dilemma is our simplistic strategy to dieting.

“I consider we want to stage again,” he suggests. It’s not practical to request, why are there more individuals with weight problems irrespective of being aware of all that we do about healthful dwelling, Freedhoff suggests, nor is it beneficial to inquire if the resolution is, do we just stop dieting?

“Suggesting that all diet plans are problematic and do not help is problematic and does not aid,” he claims, whilst he acknowledges “dieting is damaged in the context of the perception out there that you want to endure in perpetuity if you want to be successful.”

Much too typically you will not triumph, suggests Mary Bamford, a registered dietitian with Renascent in Toronto, mainly because you’re just biking between weight loss plans in research of a body weight management resolve.

“People are heading on these eating plans with no actual evidence-based details on how successful they are,” she says. “There finishes up remaining, if it does not operate out, a whole lot of self-blame and self-shame.”

It is a consequence of our culture, Bamford states, a reaction which is pretty special to excess or perceived excess fat.

“If anyone has significant blood pressure and they’re given a treatment method system and treatment and their blood force is continue to superior, they never ‘say shame on me.’”

Specified that a whole lot of individuals will not keep all the body weight off, that’s a large amount of disgrace.

Study Much more: The company of becoming healthier — really do not depend on willpower: UBC professor

Some scientific tests have shown that just 20 per cent of folks are in a position to sustain their bodyweight loss after 1 whole calendar year, while other folks display that most people will regain a lot more than two-thirds of the pounds they lost within two years of losing it.

So if you want to diet regime for wellness — not just bodyweight — good reasons, is there a way to do it appropriate?

You can get started by throwing out the notion that if you try challenging plenty of you’ll reach your goal, Freedhoff claims.

“The foods atmosphere pushes persons toward small-good quality food items with substantial energy,” he suggests. “This notion that merely seeking it poorly sufficient will allow for a swimmer to forevermore swim tirelessly versus a pretty powerful present is flawed.”

Enjoy: Is your mind making you obese? 

Then, make peace with your pounds.

“The effects that people want are the outcomes they are told they are supposed to have,” Freedhoff states. But in actuality, you really don’t will need to have misplaced precisely 40 kilos to be nutritious. If you are performing it for wellness factors, he says, even 10, 20 or 30 pounds can be helpful.

Still, Freedhoff says, the greater image repair will most likely have to arrive via laws. Namely, taxes on sugary beverages, curtailment of promoting to little ones, zoning to avert rapid foods in close proximity to educational facilities, some clearer, junk-no cost warning labels.

But you can commence your person fix with a multidisciplinary solution, Bamford suggests.

Read Much more: Much more than half of Canadian guys have harmful weight loss plans: research

Chat to your physician about acquiring the finest evidence-centered diet for you and make guaranteed there is an professional there who can help you adjust your way of thinking as very well so you’re not focusing greatly on the scale and the shame it can carry.

“It’s pretty private,” she says. It is about figuring out “what’s the very best meals pattern that performs for you as an personal.”

And then? Sluggish down.

Watch: Business the vital to nutritious ingesting

Foodstuff isn’t just for your overall body, Gorlicky claims, it is for your head far too.

Decide meals that will fill you up, she claims. It’s not about how several energy but about their dietary price. Then, try to eat bit by bit and focus on your food stuff. No mindlessly shoving a spoon into your mouth although you binge-observe a Tv demonstrate, no having to cope with loneliness or exhaustion.

“Food is genuinely like anything you’re likely to use and abuse,” Gorlicky suggests. “You have to have equilibrium.”

— with a file from Leslie Young

  Distinctive International News Ipsos polls are protected by copyright. The information and facts and/or details may perhaps only be rebroadcast or republished with entire and proper credit score and attribution to “Global News Ipsos.”

This Ipsos poll on behalf of World-wide News was an on the net survey of 1,001 Canadians done among Aug. 20-23. The final results ended up weighted to improved replicate the composition of the grownup Canadian populace, in accordance to census info. The precision of Ipsos on the web polls is calculated utilizing a trustworthiness interval. In this scenario, the poll is deemed exact to in just in addition or minus 3.5 percentage details, 19 instances out of 20.

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