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#and analysis stuff I wanted to do but didn't
catboybiologist · 3 hours
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I wanted to do something a bit different this tgirl tummy Tuesday. So here's some sexy and informative stuff!
A lot of people tell me something like "how the fuck do you boymode?". My response is usually some combination of A, the parts of my face I hide are very masculine, and B, people are primed to see me as masc in day to day life so just don't think about it much.
And those are true, to an extent. But boymode vs girlmode is a bit more than clothes, and I wanted to do a video that can show that a bit. And hey, why not have a little fun and show off a little tummy with it?
There's a lot more I could be doing for the girlmode here. This is no makeup, still wearing a very compressive sports bra, and I didn't even adjust how I'm wearing my pants or the tightness. It's also not the most femme of outfits, just a woman's cut tank top. I could also do an actually femme looking ponytail that hides the hairline better- all ponytails in this post look pretty masculine, though. But I think this still shows the contrast pretty well.
The hairline does a lot of work here, but it's less than you think. Mostly, that's just a "primer" to get you to read the rest of me as more masc or femme overall.
If you're curious, here's some other pictures of each factor individually:
Boymode:
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Girlmode:
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😳🥺😳🥺😳🥺 mode:
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Hopefully this was fun, and gave a little insight into my boymoding! Hopefully I won't have to deal with this in a couple months.
@lilithtransrights @xenasaur @godless-of-the-hunt , how was my analysis here?
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Hello. I am wondering why you start liking Takeomi. He is the most hated character by the fandom and your choice of wet soggy cat is very unique. I want to listen your ramblings.
Oh anon, if only I knew
I'll try to remember how it happened, that much I think I got it.
So, when I first got into TR, my mind mostly focused on Mitsuya and the Shiba (mostly Taiju), so much so that I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I ever will on Taiju and explaining where his behavior comes from
Because it seems like a lot of people missed some important information. And by doing that I was able to show them details they had missed (prove that I was right in previous posts where I didn't justified myself and basically got called a liar by someone in the notes which incredibly pissed me off-) and, although that doesn't excuse what Taiju did, it does explain it and makes him more.. real? Maybe not relatable, but his domestic abuse didn't pop up out of nowhere and a lot of people know what intergenerational trauma can do so while still hating Taiju they could understand him better.
Then, having finished my Taiju analysis which also opened my eyes since I found more than what I initially thought about; I myself was able to understand him better and so I thought-
Why not do that with every hated characters in the fandom?
I don't quite recall if my (at the time, very slight) interest in Takeomi happened a bit before or at that time, but the reason why I focused on him before the others (which, uh, aren't a lot anyway) was because I saw stuffs written about him which I didn't really agree with? Like, yeah, he was flawed and raised his siblings badly - especially when next to Shinichiro who was (at least depicted as)(and try to be) good at it - but they were kinda amplifying things
I know that a lot of people relate to Sanzu, or just, love him, and since they saw things I haven't seen, I told myself 'well, let's investigate, then' and then I wrote about 17k words on Takeomi's psychology.
I literally walked myself into the Takeomi rabbit-hole (what a FUCKING mistake /positive)
Takeomi did neglect his siblings, and passive-aggressively verbally, or even emotionally, abused Sanzu and for most of the fandom, is not attractive (and, let's not lie, beauty is a redeeming quality for a lot of characters regardless of fandom. How many characters, no matter their faults, get forgiven by fans just because they're hot, uh?). So he sucks, yeah
You know what he did do? acknowledged his mistakes, apologized for them and would have started his redemption arc if Wakui had had the time for that when warping up the story
He made mistakes, he's flawed, he's human, he wasn't even supposed to be here because he only entered the delinquent world to keep following Shinichiro, his ego which was back then very weak and non-existent got inflated for either survival or because he received so many compliments he didn't know what to do with it if not both because he was a k i d.
Most of the characters in TR are kids or young adults when they commit things they shouldn't have done. And yes, you can hold them accountable for it but they didn't know better - they didn't have the tools to
Now, why do I like Takeomi.
First of all - the amount of flaws he has. Don't think I need to make the list, I think everyone's got it (although make sure to remember he's got an inferiority complex and it's most likely that he also has an imposter syndrome so he's just like me fr-). But even with that, he's never an antagonist. He does things wrong but he's on our side (he's just very deaf to anyone's opinion that doesn't fit his). He sucked at raising his siblings as a kid himself (before his superiority complex developed and during it too - albeit in different ways) but that's just.. realistic? Not that it takes away the seriousness of it and the consequences, but how else could it have been? The impact on Sanzu were disastrous (not that they were the only reason why Sanzu lost it), I understand that, I don't erase that nor deny it BUT THERE'S A REASON WHY TAKEOMI IS LIKE THIS, TOO. And if people blame Takeomi for his actions (which, again, fair.) then blame Sanzu for his!! he was willing to mass murder hundreds of people!!! including his sister!!! he killed a few people!! argh. But Sanzu got his tragic-backstory/childhood shown and has a design that appeals to most, so I guess it's harder to hold him accountable for the seriousness of his actions (I like Sanzu, don't get me wrong. But sometimes the hypocrisy of some fans makes me a tiny bit angry 🙃)
Anyway, reason 84123286 of why I need Takeomi's backstory. Bc, honestly, from what we know of him as a kid+his coping mechanisms as a teen/adult, it would make sense to me if one of the reason he was so hostile to Sanzu was because he saw himself in him and Didn't Like ItTM (for different reasons) (!!! Which would add nicely to Shinichiro seeing himself in Mikey!!! more sano-akashi parallels, lets goooooooo) Talking about the parallels between the two, the fact he's Shinichiro's narrative foil compels me lots. Takeomi is quite literally Shinichiro with a negative filter on. And how can he survived that? How can he cope with the fact that no matter how much he wants and tries to be Shinichiro he'd never succeed? He'd always be the pale copy, the wood statue covered with golden leaves that are peeling away with time next to the pure gold statue. The Teru Teru Bozu that fails to chase the rain away and is going to be decapitated for his ineptitude. He'd always be himself and that's what he hates the most. He'd always be compared to Shinichiro and there's nothing he can do about it. And he can't even be angry at Shinichiro. That's his best friend. He loves him. He has been the first to love him. He has been there before anyone else. He can't lose Shinichiro, Shinichiro gave him everything. Everything he cares about, he sees value of, at least. Immaculate.
I'll also die on the hill that he is competent. He himself has no idea on what but he is (he mixes everything. For him it'd go like this: he gets praised but he's done nothing, Shinichiro has done everything which means they praised him for what Shinichiro has done. Which means what Shinichiro do, he does too. Which means Shinichiro's achievements are his as well! right? He didn't do anything by himself, there's no need to praise him for something else.)(he's fully blind that strategically-speaking and in other brainy-brain domains he's competent af. Bc since it comes 'easily' to him - since he doesn't struggle much with it, or in contrary he struggles so much he cannot possibly be good at it, then there's nothing to praise. And like, for him what Shinichiro does deserve to be praised. What he himself does is just.. things he does so compliments feel shallow)(+Bonten strives as much as Bad Toman and Manila if not more, yet there's no Kisaki. Ofc there's still Koko so that helps, but Takeomi is new to the team and got recruited (at least that what Senju said) in Brahman for his ~wisdom~)
He's also the only character who was around before Shinichiro 1) became a big brother 2) became a delinquent and that has to mean something. They're the only ones left to remember how the other was before their life went to shit
In the final timeline, he looks so healthy. He made peace with himself, his relationship with his siblings is good, he made amends. He healed, they healed. His relationship with Shinichiro, Benkei and Wakasa is good too everything's great. He learnt to understand what he is competent in and focus on it; he's not Shinichiro, he'll never be and that's okay. He's him and what he is complete Shinichiro just as Shinichiro complete him – they take care of one another's flaws but can also know live independently from each other. Perhaps, perhaps Takeomi stopped being so dependent of him
Appearance-wise, I love dark hair+green eyes combo in general so it wasn't that hard (plus there are some godly fanarts out there)
And of course: despite his complexity, at the end of the day - he's really just a pathetic wet poor excuse of a man who can't do anything right and isn't that endearing
I'm slowly getting out of the denial-phase to enter my acceptance-phase when it comes to loving Takeomi. Liking things most people hate or are neutral about is smth I hate for Reasons but it also seems to always happen lolololol. Will try to talk more about Takeomi when it comes to my mind, in case ppl who also love him but don't want to make it known because of his bad reputation in the fandom saw my posts and feel a bit more okay and comfortable with loving him
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isfjmel-phleg · 1 year
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It has not been a productive day, but I did get my homework done before tomorrow's session and didn't lose my composure while writing it (not that there would have been anyone here to see but still), so there's that.
#random personal stuff#there's creative stuff I wanted to write but didn't#and analysis stuff I wanted to do but didn't#my boss says that presenting papers at conventions like the one I'm going to at the end of the month looks good on a resume#and basically implied that I should continue doing it#but I've run out of papers from my grad school days and would have to write new ones#but what would I even write about?#everything I have Thoughts on isn't very academic#I've already presented on something literally no one cares about and that was utterly thankless so probably not a good idea again#if I don't get an award at convention it will be deeply embarrassing#(since there are only four papers including mine in the alumni category)#self-evaluations at work need to be done this week and I'm dreading it#I feel like a barely adequate employee and I'm afraid my boss will criticize me and that I disappoint her#and I have so much to read for looming book groups that I somehow got roped into#I feel like I'm forgetting something somewhere#why did I use to want to be an academic? I'm not even in class and my brain can't keep up#but it's the closest to the only thing I can sort of do#do you ever just...not know what you want to do or be#like at all?#there is literally nothing I want out of life#least of all what I want to be when I grow up#of course a lot of us don't know that yet#but I feel like I should by now#anyway wow sounds like I should probably sleep or something#will I do that? ...eventually?
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vegaspeteangst · 2 years
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that's right, you'd better be scared, you'd better be afraid, you'd better be terrified of me
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there's no need to be scared of me (for now)
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i just know you aren't scared of me (the thing is you like it, you like everything that's happening at the moment)
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you really aren't scared, you really aren't that terrified of me (and i think i'm falling for you, no, it seems like i already fell for you)
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and now i'm scared, and now i'm so afraid and now i'm so fucking terrified (because you're my weakness yet my strength and it's time i fell on my knees for you, it's time i begged you not to leave me alone in the darkness)
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please, i'm begging you, don't be afraid of me, don't be scared of me, don't be terrified of me (i want you to take me back, i need you to take me back even if it's going to be on your terms, it's your choice, i'm at your mercy)
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i'm not scared, i'm not afraid, i'm not terrified (if it's you, then i'm willing to take it all, i'm willing to give my life, i'm at your mercy once again)
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we're neither scared or afraid (it's just us and that's all that matters, it's just us and we've overcome so many things together, it's just us and we're going to take it step by step... we'll be fine as long as we have each other)
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Sometimes I feel very sad that I didn’t just focus on one creative skill. I look at my art some days and go I wish I’d spent all my time making only that, because that way it would look better and I’d do more and it wouldn’t matter if I couldn’t write very well because my art would be amazing and I’d be able to make the stuff I really want to and maybe even get a job related to it and I wouldn’t feel like so much time was wasted. And often times it really does feel like you’re wasting time and everything is telling you to just pick something to focus on so it can mean something and you can never seem to pick one of anything.
And then other days I feel like an absolute GOD. Anyone else able to write your own fic and then draw art for it just because you can? Can you make an edit/amv after writing a silly little analysis post on the show/character that is so perfectly on beat and fits the lyrics and with transitions so slapping you get chills while watching? Can you write a short silly ditty on the guitar about how you’re feeling using the eight chords know and belt it out only a little bit off key then do a choppy little animation of your sona singing it?
I may not be the most skilled at all of the above, and it can be a little lonely to be a one man band who doesn’t play half as well as a lot of people out there, but when your power goes out or your wifi dies or you have a day off, everyone else is busy and you’re alone...
you play the best gosh dang music in existence
#knox rambles#feeling some kinda way lately o7#these kinda vibes come back every once in a while#just gotta remind myself that ten year old me would go insane over the fact I can do what i can do#even if I'm not the best out there I am sure the best me out there#and that's pretty cool#i may only know one strum pattern on guitar and half a dozen chords at best#i may not be very good with punctuation and grammar while writing and I reuse words too much#I may do my art all leaning a little to the left too much and proportioned weirdly#I may export my amv's wrong so they're not on beat or forget good audio that would have made it REALLY great#I may write analysis's that are a little biased and look back on them and cringe a bit#I may only be able to animate the simpliest and shortest things and then go months even years at a time without animating#I may struggle to do animatics for what feels like no reason even if i want to so badly#but I can do all that stuff#I can write i can read and I can draw I can play guitar a bit i can sing I can make animatics animations amv's#and wow that's pretty incredible if you ask me#rambling rambling zero thoughts head empty YEET HGSDFLKJSDF#creative insecurities#they always sneak up on you a bit hglksjdfsdf#pretty safe to say I wouldn't be a creative if I didn't feel inadequate every person to ever create usually feels some kinda way ghsdflk;jsd#lays down#woo#hoping I can get back into the swing of being creative#things been pretty rough at home but I miss making stuff#ANYWAY HOPE Y'ALLS HAVING A FIRE DAY
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beatcroc · 2 months
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listen. i love pizza tower with my whole heart & mind. you know this. you Know. but first and foremost i am a character design bitch, and the pizzas are, frankly, very bland. this is not a critique or a complaint, because obviously That's Not The Point and more importantly i would be horrified if anyone tried doing that much animation with anything more complex than what's there. but also it means when i get a taste of some truly whack ass insane design work again it is like fuuuucking catnip
#ive been DEPRIVED......#pizza business is on hiatus i need to play lethal league for 50 hours and make a surely ill-fated cosplay about it#it really is unfortunate fake pep could have been a fun cosplay for the way i wanted to go about it#but for all the schematics i had sketched out it was never a thing i wanted to get up and actually try to Make#and then i wake up the next day after playing llb once and go like oh. ohhhhhh. i need to be doombox irl#and because of that realizing. oh that was misplaced idle thoughts before; i never actually wanted to do fp for real#i was just on that train bc 1. very passionate about the game obviously [and he was kind of my only option to rep pt] and 2.#i think it was a lot of leftover inertia from my PREVIOUS cosplay idea [baozhai from indivisible] that i also never pursued#lots of Makin Stuff drive still existing but not having a place to go.#fp was certainly more doable than baozhai so it was easy to latch on but#still not....really the kind of thing i actually Enjoy making#this one though. ohgghhgh i feel it. i feel the cosmos#i still dont think i'm actually going to complete it. the current projection is that i just make a shitty prototype and then#realize how impossible and unfun this is gonna be and then drop it. [but its fine bc i still got to make stuff and got the idea out]#however. that first pizza comic was also originally a single-image prototype to get the idea across bc#i didn't think i would actually draw out that whole thing either.#so i guess we'll just see what happens. now won't we.#poor fuckin noisette comic 2 man i put it off for so long and then finally get into it and then this happens#ill get back on it eventually this is just something i have to indulge while i have it and get it out of my system#its like evangelion. sometimes you have to write 8k words of analysis. and sometimes you gotta make a really stupid cosplay#anyway hey i should post the fp cosplay schematics huh. i meant to back when i first did them but then didnt. whoops#bweeeaaahh
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dangerous-advantage · 10 months
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why is usagi yoimbo so fucking good? (an analysis.)
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usagi yojimbo is one of the most interesting, well-told, intelligent, heartfelt stories i have ever read. it's stories are nuanced and likable, supported by characters and relationships you root for.
it's simple, balanced, and when things get serious, you feel it.
and if anyone had recommended it to me, i probably wouldn't have read it.
(spoilers for usagi yojimbo: volume two; jizo. fair warning: this will probably go long.)
i picked up uyv2 on a whim. i wasn't really planning on reading it, and if i did, i didn't think i would particularly like it.
but it was related to my current hyperfixation (they didn't have 'the last ronin' in stock, which was what i was looking for), and it was a special day, so i thought, "fuck it, i'll buy this."
a couple days later, i finished it and immediately needed more. yada yada, tale as old as time.
but what exactly made it so good? a lot of people will get into media and be hooked by the very first installment. usagi yojimbo, for me, required a little bit of faith.
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i started with uyv2: issue one, aka 'shades of green.' if you're a tmnt fan, this is a great jumping off point, because it lures you in with tmnt lore all while putting intrigue in your mind about what these other guys are doing, i guess.
there are callbacks to past comics that might interest you by creating a greater sense of lore and history. you'll find yourself eventually wandering back and maybe reading the next installment, just because.
this is very good, because the next installment following the shades of green arc (at least, in the usagi yojimbo saga: book one') are the "side stories," which will stick in your mind until your thoughts are overtaken by the funny rabbit guy, and you give in.
i love shades of green as much as the next guy, but damn, those side stories fuck. even if you didn't give a shit about the turtles and only read the stories (and maybe the origin tale), it is my belief that you would know basically everything you need to know.
jizo is what originally "hooked" me. in the og comics, it was a side story for the first part of the shades of green arc, which was ingenious, seeing as it's fucking amazing.
in my humble opinion, jizo is an example of sakai at his best. it's eight pages long with three panels per page, each following the same composition. its so simple, and yet, throughout my read-through of volume two, i found myself returning to it again and again.
it starts off with an image of a road, with a series of travelers passing by. a woman toting a small stone statue brings it to the edge of the road and starts on an iconic sakai infodump, with might disinterest some, but fully delighted my autistic mind!
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(here she is, by the way.)
she explains (by talking to the statute) that said statue is a representation of 'jizo-sama,' "guardian of the souls of lost children. her son was murdered five days ago on this very road, and the ones responsible, a party of bandits, have not yet been caught.
her hope is that by praying to the statue, nobody else will suffer the same fate.
she also explains some lore-- that the souls of lost children are "doomed to pile stones in the dry river bed of souls." by offering pebbles at the statue's base, she hopes to ease her sons' burden.
she then leaves, noting a chill in the air, and promises to bring back a coat for the statue the following day, in order to keep it warm.
now, by all accounts, this is an example of bad storytelling. just info-dumping is uninteresting to the audience, and clunky. well, here we are reminded that actually, if your story is worth telling, nobody gives a shit if you commit "writing sins" (see 'lord of the rings' for more examples of this. yes, uy is good enough to be compared to lotr.)
but anyway, the day progresses. there are lots of fun details in these scenes --
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--like this guy ^, who we meet/meet another person akin to later on in volume two (music from heaven). we also see a couple of people make offerings on their way past, which is nice (:
night falls, and with it comes-- holy shit-- its the funny rabbit guy again!
he's alone, just passing by. he doesn't even seem to notice the statue on the side of the road.
we then get some of my all-time favorite uy panels, and a perfectly-executed scene showcasing some of usagi's core beliefs and character.
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so the bandits (yes, those bandits) attack. and usagi five-v-one's them. the guards come, clean things up, etc etc. more usagi characterization shines through. and usagi leaves.
all the while, jizo-sama observes.
but wait. if you're anything like me, you might notice a small detail between in two frames.
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that's right-- the statue of jizo smiles. which could be creepy in any other context, but its only for a single panel, so you might assume it was just a quirk of the artwork on that one page.
but, no.
in the morning, the woman comes back.while wrapping the statute in a coat, she says, "huh? your expression has changed-- you look more at peace-- but that's impossible! isn't it?"
she ultimately decides not to worry about it, but does mention that it'll probably cause more people to be willing to give offerings as well. which leaves us with our final panel.
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so. what exactly does jizo accomplish?
well, a lot of things. it sets up worldbuilding for the more 'mystical' side of uy, introduces us to sakai's ability to make you feel like you've been punched in the gut in a good way, and characterizes usagi using only eight of the twenty-four panels that make up this story. in which, he doesn't say a word.
but beyond that. why does this work so well?
for me, a part of it is the inversion of the idea of "fate." let me explain-- in a lot of stories like this, there's this underlying trope of the "chosen one" or that things will end up a certain way. while these stories aren't bad, i generally find myself uninterested in the idea of beings beyond our comprehension pulling the strings for characters that are "special."
these characters are chosen ones. they're supposed to know everything that will go down, because they're important. whether or not fate actually plays a part, you get this idea that they were always supposed to be 'chosen,' in some way or another.
uy doesn't do that. while there is some "meddling" implied, it's not because usagi is the specialest boy ever. he's just some guy making his way through japan while trying not to starve. just... figuring himself out.
in thise story, the only people who know the full extent of the narrative are ourselves and the statue of jizo. the woman shows no indication that she's heard of the bandits' capture, and for usagi, this is just another night.
it's meaningful because we get to see all these parts of the story come together, while knowing we are the only ones this is meant for. this isn't a grand story or some epic of old. it's just a small, intimate moment of retribution.
the gods-- or, in this case, jizo-sama-- doesn't care about heroism outside of this moment. it's left vague whether or not the statue or any being it represents put this moment into fruition. if anything, it could just be a coincidence, and the statue is smiling at in gratitude.
regardless, it feels so much more meaningful than if it had been done any other way. usagi is just a character traversing these lands, weaving in and out of stories, many he will never know the full extent of. and that feels real. genuine.
i do think that this changes a bit, later on in the comics, but this beginning sense-- that usagi is just travelling through a greater world, pulled this way and that for no particular reason (unless otherwise noted) is very refreshing for a series like this.
jizo does a lot of other stuff, too-- like that core characterization i mentioned above-- but this post is long enough. i wanted to get more into other aspects of why uy is so good, but there's just so much, and honestly, you should read it yourself if you haven't already to find out what. (at the very least, read jizo-- it's short, but very, very good.)
i might do more of these for the rest of uyv2 and how it hooked me, but for now, i this this works well enough to begin answering the question of why this series is so good.
(okay, i caved-- the core characterization is his unwillingness to fight unless it's necessary. now, go read jizo!)
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heloflor · 6 months
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You know, considering how many posts I recently made about Movie Peach and how negative they are, there’s something I feel the need to clarify since I wouldn’t be surprised if people had some assumptions and I don’t want words I didn’t say being put into my mouth (Tl;Dr at the end):
As a completely original character, fully detached from everything other than the movie, I have no issues with Movie Peach. She’s badass in a fun way, spunky, has a few cute faces, and I especially appreciate how despite being a strong female character stereotype she’s very supportive of Mario and builds him up rather than putting him down, it makes her likeable and their relationship very cute.
And yes, this is the way I perceived her from the get-go, but only mentioned it in my movie reaction post made all the way back when said movie came out, hence needing to say it again now. To quote that post: “Least favorite character is DK. It could’ve been Peach but my issues with her stem from how different she is from her games counterpart. If you take her movie character as a brand-new character rather than a game adaptation, she’s actually pretty great as a guide and strong mentor.” And while there are things in this post I now disagree with, this part remains my current opinion.
So yeah, as an original character, she’s pretty great...but that’s also the issue.
Movie Peach is not an original character. She’s supposed to be an adaptation of a pre-existing character who already has her own personality. And as an adaptation, Movie Peach fails at every level. Not only that, but several dialogues keep hyping her up in a way that comes off as Illuminations looking down on Games Peach, you know, the character their own Peach is supposed to be an adaptation of.
That’s why I take such issue with Movie Peach. It’s not the character itself, it’s how bad of an adaptation she is. And if I did my job correctly, every single time I talk negatively of her in my posts, it’s about her as an adaptation specifically. The only instance of me being an ass for no reason is in my table comparison post where I call her a dumbass, which I point out in the tags to be me throwing shade and not something I actually believe.
Now I also want to say that I hate Movie Peach for what she represents and the consequences of her existence on Peach’s character and her perception by the public, so to keep it short I’m going with bullet points:
It annoys me a lot that a multi-million dollars company couldn’t be bothered to adapt her character properly, especially since they apparently closely worked with Nintendo and the concept art very much show them who Peach is as a person (the one where she’s encouraging Mario to fight DK reminds me of the 86 Anime where she keeps having Mario fight her battles while powerless to defend herself; also it’s funny how in the art of Games Peach reacting to Movie Peach it’s obvious the artist had no idea what personality Movie Peach has). The fact she’s a favorite character of mine doesn’t help and makes me feel robbed from seeing a beloved character on the big screen for the first time. And obviously them low-key insulting her by hyping up Movie Peach makes it worse.
Even before getting into the fandom I knew that Peach isn’t the most well-liked character, with many gamers especially finding her bland and boring. This was already sad on its own, but now those same people are praising a character who’s completely different from her for being “so much better” or “finally giving her a personality”. It sucks. Games Peach deserves better than that.
With those things in mind I don’t think I need to explain why the fact this characterization is possibly bleeding out into the games is something I dread. Now I can live with a cover art change, but if they change her actual character I’m going to scream. Especially if they only do it to Peach and no other character. And yes I know some people also pointed out a possible direction change for her voice but 1. for some reason I don’t really care, possibly because she’s been through quite a lot of voice-actors already 2. we only clearly hear her voice in the Showtime trailer during the Kung-Fu part so maybe her voice will differ depending on the costume, it is a stageplay after all, and 3. the Wonder short with Bowser has her let out four noises, one of which has a different tone while the other three keep her usual high octave, so I’m not sure if they truly intend on changing her voice. Haven’t played Wonder yet tho so I can’t speak to all her other voicelines.
Hopefully this will be my last post about this outside of answering asks and reblogs as I’m always open to discussions/debates. I don’t like bringing negativity and especially not drama to my blog but, considering the extensive rant I made about this, it only feels right to make sure people don’t misinterpret where my issues come from, since I can absolutely understand people seeing my posts and concluding that I hate Movie Peach for who she is rather than what she represents.
Now, instead of being negative about Movie Peach I’d rather focus on being positive about Games Peach, mostly through the fics I’m working on.
Tl;Dr: Movie Peach would be genuinely great as an original character but alas she was put inside the skin of someone with a completely different personality from hers. And it's very hard to look past this given the consequences of Movie Peach's existence on how people percieve Peach as a whole now on top of a possible change in her games character.
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I hate liking "edgelord guy shows" that have a mostly male fanbase because any possible discussion is available only on reddit and it's always the most braindead media illiterate takes your eyeballs will ever read
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solivagant-muse · 2 years
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I need more reverse au in my life. Bastard Vinny has to be the greatest thing in my life atm.
THANK YOU!
GLAD TO HEAR THAT!
I love a soft Vince, don't get me wrong but the boy has so much unresolved, inner rage that manifests in the worst ways possible and makes him commit atrocious acts of cruelty <3
I don't have shareable art atm but I can provide you with how I see Vincent being if his face wasn't attached to Bo, and instead was "the pretty face" of the two.
I'll also be sharing stuff that I spoke with @hersweetrevenge about it, because her brain is super wrinkly and big.👀
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Anna, please feel free to add stuff if you like!
In this AU, I see Vincent being more confident, snobby and arrogant, he acts "humble" but you know the man is fishing for compliments like a lifeline at every opportunity. Self-entitled as well, being told he was special and talented all the time can make a kid's ego burst to the mountains.
I also see him not being able to handle criticism whatsoever, it's his art and he decides the value. He worked hard to get there, so no one is allowed to dislike his work and put a value on it.
The two songs I would connect with Reverse AU Vincent would be "Love Me Love Me Love Me" by Kikuo and "Being low as dirt, taking what's important to me" by Tuyu. I recommend just reading the lyrics just to have an idea.
Much like OG Bo, Vincent becomes the "face" of Ambrose, he is the one interacting with the victims most of the time. He is still a loner and more on the reserved side, finding more solace being in the basement than anywhere else but much like OG Bo, he has to do the facade of being nice and welcoming to lure future projects.
I also think Vincent can get away with being "weird" because he is an artist after all, and artists are sometimes eccentric.
He has too many knives? Weird but they're really detailed and might be for decoration or material/wax cutting!
He stares too long at someone and is being kind of a creep? Oh, he is just admiring the symmetry of their face! Artists like to people-watch.
His face twists in a bitter scowl if an artstyle he likes gets dunked on? Artists are passionate but sensitive souls.
However, I am of the opinion that the pressure from his mother was much more intense compared to the OG one. He was everything that she wanted; brains, looks, and talent but she still demanded more of him. Vincent had to keep up with what his brothers couldn't do or be. The pressure of being the "perfect son" and "the Sinclair pride" made him snap in a way, but it was more lowkey, less explosive than Bo's but horrible regardless. He was treated better, but their parents' love wasn't unconditional, it never was. Higher praise also meant harsher punishment. Vincent didn't have to experience much to know, Bo was the perfect example of the consequences of misbehaving.
He loves his mother, but he holds a deep resentment towards her. Maybe him making the House of Wax was a direct or indirect way of desecrating the art of his mother. His mother wanted a super talented kid that did everything she asked of him, but she is gone now. Now he is that, and much better.
Vincent feels pity for Bo and treats both him and Lester "nicer" compared to canon Bo but he still has a hold on both of them. He is one of the few who truly loves and cares for them after all. He doesn't mistreat them or yells at them but he can be a little condescending at times in a "I'm so kind to you all and I'm doing what's best for you. Sorry you don't appreciate my worry! 🙄" kind of vibe.
He is the head of the house in this au and has the family ring, he became what Victor and Trudy wanted, it's natural he would be the one to inherit take the ring for himself 👀
Oml, Trudy and Victor having an argument because one wants Vincent to be an artist and the other one wants him to be a doctor!!! Bo and Lester watching from the sidelines, no expectations for the two of them whatsoever.
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maddy-ferguson · 1 year
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i don't know how people whose blogs are still fully byler do it there's only so many times you can read the exact same post before you start going crazy
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dan-crimes · 7 months
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The world isn't ready for all my amazing and wonderful takes on media but maybe my OCs will make them understand...
#I have a whole Thing where just#I get misunderstood a lot there's only a handful of people who get me and even still there's this air of mystery#which tbf idk how my brain even works sometimes it just has a mind of it's own#anyway I do want people to be able to understand me PURELY bcuz the people who misunderstand me are like#actively annoying about it or straight up malicious and I mean I don't expect them to really ever understand#cuz most of them aren't open to it or are too stubborn to change their mind or just past experiences cause for them to feel a certain way#or we are simply too different as people for them to get it sometimes people just aren't compatible#I just wish people didn't make it /my/ problem when /they/ don't understand me lmao#I'm simply built different 👊😌#in general I enjoy a different perspective on things and I wish other people would also view things in that way#like you don't have to understand just accept it like people Exist and they are simply like that sometime#you might never be able to fully grasp the confines of another person's brain but you can make an effort to just accept them#or at least accept that That is the way they are etc etc cuz like of someone is different than you and it's nothing bad like#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I dunno what the fuss would be about they are simply different than you#...which is normal since everyone is unique in their own way#anyway I give some of my OCs aspects of myself that people tend to not understand so I can dive into that more#and hopefully come to soms sort of understanding or at the very least see what kinda messed up stuff people have to say abt it lmao#like if anyone does some sort of analysis abt my OCs and is just like This person is the devil in secret read between the lines#then like I know exactly how that person is and how they would act towards me as well LMAO life hax#obviously that is an exaggeration but it's prolly safe to say we would not get along#I also try to have my OCs having traits that I see very commonly in other people to see how many people can relate to that stuff#like there's a lot to it lmao I would enjoy seeing the effects of characters#like I don't just do it for other people I also do it for myself in an attempt to understand how other people work#cuz just there's some common stuff I see in people that I lack and don't have that issue#makes it hard to understand or comfort those people especially when idk what specifically they would want in that moment#I'm more of a distraction vs a comforter and all my comfort is logic based in order to ground people#bcuz idk how the person feels in that moment since it's an issue I don't have#anyway that's another reason I try and make characters like that cuz I wanna be able to better understand that stuff
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fma03envy · 2 years
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Kyosuke is underrated I think
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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i shld rlly go to sleep 😭😭
#🌙.rambles#i'm uh using data rn i shldn't be using any sort of wifi at all but :<<#anxiety.. i think#i have to wake up in around 3 hours#i shld rlly sleep but#i'm so#yk what i'll finish writing that by dec. 7#since i started writing dec. 8#i haven't wrote anything in that thing for like several weeks now ( at least 2 i think )#the thought of starting again n writing smth just feels so daunting#my head aches#i'm sorry i didn't mean to ramble but#it's just been bothering me..#maybe i've gotten. too harsh when it comes to#i'm too afraid to forget you see#so i write like i'm running out of time. i take note of songs i listen to in a day n things i do#maybe a bit too much sometimes but it keeps me rather sane#weekends r too short :c it's monday again n. School#i don't have much due this week but i do have to work a lot on the rrl & our thematic analysis coding stuff yk prac res things#i know i'll manage but i rlly just want to rest#i really just want to go outside lay down on the grass look up at the starry sky n gaze at the moon#forget my worries for a while. n maybe i can imagine of other worlds. of fiction. or of stories in the future that'll never be mine#but i can at least dream yeah?#time's ticking i shld really sleep maybe i can set aside writing to myself later instead. tomorrow#too little time to do anything really. perhaps i shld just sleep my worries away#:<< i'll be fine it's been like this for a while now but i'm managing. the burden is heavy#it's so so heavy.. memories n then the future n words to read n write. things to do n achieve#one day i wish i cld really just finally allow myself once more to be able to ultimately. yk indulge in wtvr i want#may one day the world grant me that kindness#that. one wish. or maybe two or dozens. or 23
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anantaru · 4 months
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BITTERSWEET TASTE
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— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — being in the knights of favonius came with its own responsibilities, yet why was it so unbelievably difficult for kaeya to get up in the morning when you‘re laying next to him all pretty and riled up?
— ꒰ word count ꒱ — 3.1k
— ꒰ a/n ꒱ — decided to repost this hidden fic, enjoy <3
— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ns]fw, fem! reader, prone bone, fingering, morning sex, morning wood, biting, he cums in you, basically kaeya doesn't want to go to work <3
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there was a pearly glow in the morning sky with the first of many rays of sunlight casting a rosy hue up the bedroom, prickling on kaeya's bronzed skin.
fluttering his eyelashes open for the first time post slumber, he scrubbed his face with his hands as to try to wipe away the tiredness that was still viewable on his handsome features. He yawned, stretching his broad body, tilting his neck left and right.
if only he didn't have to work today, he thoughts to himself, fighting off his laziness and huffing out dramatically.
naturally, ever since the grandmaster left for an important expedition, kaeya had to work more than usual, do stuff he in any other circumstances wouldn't have to bother to even bat an eye over.
of course, with the entire cavalry gone, one would think that the cavalry captain himself wouldn't have to particularly do much, yet he still had to aid the knights with various tasks as they were short in staff.
a low sigh escaped him and his heart bubbled with swells of delight upon taking in the look of his sleeping beauty curved up into a ball, your breathing tranquil with your eyes scrunched together.
how can someone be so cute and beautiful? while also infecting him with blissful joy.
leaving nothing to the imagination, his mind froze with his body feeling light, as if he wasn't entirely there yet, wandering his piercing gaze over your heaving figure, drinking in your peacefulness.
he tried to decipher on how he managed to end up so lucky, how it was him, of all people, who captured your heart.
on further analysis, he focused and crossed his vision over you, his breathing slowing down. He caught a glimpse of your white panties nudged out of your sleep shirt, the fabric was flimsy and was barely able to keep everything hidden and tugged away, the outline of your puffy folds poked out just slightly and watered his mouth on sight.
next, kaeya heavily settled his hands on your hips and pulled you closer into his embrace, he was still very much tired and exhausted, the thought about him having to leave for work in a bit was annoying, straight up mind shattering, a frustrated growl tingling in his throat.
cocking his head in the nook of your soft neck, kaeya took in your scent, so familiar and soothing, kissing the thin flesh under your ear. The strokes of his rough lips on you ultimately stirred you from your sleep, a dizzying sense of pleasure crawling over your shoulders.
"kaeya?" your voice was whispery and barely there, laced in with a raspy undertone when you cradled your head to the side, meeting his hooded eyes. "morning, beautiful."
you couldn't help yourself but roll your eyes at him, such tease, your brows crinkling at the corners as a peel of laughter echoed in the large room. With your hand, you removed the navy blue hair strands that covered your boyfriends handsome face, stilling your palm on his warm cheek and brushing your thumb over his lower lip.
"don't you have to work?"
"hmm." nuzzling himself into you, he continued, "how awful would i be if i don't?" kaeya crossed his arms around you with the plush of your behind pressed against his member, your eyes growing to the size of saucers upon realizing how riled up he had gotten.
"jean won't be happy if you're late." attempting to disturb him from his little fantasy, he set off the heavy erection in his pants, gently rutting itself within your softness, his rough tongue eagerly dragging over your neck and biting down the wet spot, ultimately forgetting about your words, as if he didn't perceive them in the first place.
"foul play!" he feigned a dramatic, teasing tone, "but this isn't about jean right now."
his hips bucked up yet again, this time unconsciously before one of his hands wandered towards your stomach, hooking his fingers into the elastic of your panties to pull them down in a single motion. Your breath was trembling with a sweet squeak robbed out of your mouth, melting into his warmth with your eyes closed.
his hand disappeared within your heat, nudging in between your thighs as you spread them a bit to make it easier for him to travel to where you craved it. "only for five minutes kaeya, okay?"
"five minutes, five minutes." he repeated sheepishly, gaping his mouth open and poking out his sharp canines from underneath his upper lip, prancing on your neck, adding his rough tongue up until reaching your earlobe to gingerly suck on it. You whined from his little scheme, noticing your nipples perked up from underneath your shirt and rubbing over the flimsy material as you whined at the first long finger poking at your entrance.
your cheeks grew warm, drizzling hot and your eyes fluttered close to relish in the digit filling you at last, the stretch was barely painful or to be perceived yet still pleasurable. Your insides were twisting and turning around his skillfulness which had kaeya's vision turn blank, jaw dropping loosely before a massive grin heaved on him.
considering on how your moans sounded, how they pooled over his ears like sweet liquid, sugary candy, kaeya figured you were very much sensitive, might be because you had just woken up, carefully wiggling his finger deep into you to wheedle another reaction out from your lips.
"don't hide your sounds from me, don't even dare."
his gorgeous face was behind you, kaeya absolutely despised it when you hid your pleasure from him, your lust and ache, sometimes you even did in on purpose to drive him mad, yet he always made sure to punish his sweet little angel properly afterwards.
"kaeya, it feels good." he was spreading the mess over your folds with every shove into your core, you nodded frantically to signal him how well he did, your head falling back against his neck as he added another finger into the mix, almost immediately pulling it into you and searching for more with his hungry eyes.
this time you stretched further, hole parting, the combination of his middle and ring finger rubbing their rough pads into your velvety walls had you short of breath, nudging your sweet spot. You were rocking side to side as you held each other in a loving clasp, moaning and breathing in sync.
a simple happiness, that's what it was for kaeya, seeing you unravel for him in such a short amount of time, a confident bubble bursting in his belly as he noticed the heavy dent in his boxers, growing, aching and rubbing against the uncomfortable material of his sweat shorts.
kaeya drew in his breath upon noticing your spasming walls, letting go of the air in his lungs with a shiver. He shifted his leg, pressing you closer together and increasing the pace on his hand. Without warning he scissored your sensitive cunt, curling and sending waves of electric thrills throughout your skin.
your eyebrows knitted together in concentration, tightening your jaw as you moaned his name, arching your spine away yet he jerked you back almost immediately, "I'm so close kaeya.. please." your skin was heated, yet the warmth crossing you from deep inside roamed into you in fast spurts, slumping back and forth.
"i want you to cum on my fingers, can you do this for me?" hoarsely voicing his command with authority taking over the room, he shoved his fingers in, thick and wet, delving them into you as you grinding yourself back, meeting his hand halfway through his heavy tugs.
"i‘m gonna cum—" moaning in protest, your sloppy hole suckled down on kaeya‘s slender, skillful digits, clamping your thighs to hold him there when you spasmed, shivering and whining when your orgasm threw itself at you.
kissing and biting your neck he hummed in satisfaction at your tones, your pleas and begs, the vibration he exclaimed was filling you and hit your core in a torrent of electricity.
your hands abruptly clasped onto his wrist to still his movements yet kaeya was chasing your release like a wild beast, finger fucking you through your climax with sloppy noises turning you into an embarrassing mess.
creating friction through his rough way with you, you grabbed him, your mouth opening but nothing came out and throat tightening when you cummed at last with a silent cry of his name, sobbing your words.
pure bliss, that's how kaeya would describe it, his palm glistering with arousal. "now would you look at yourself, what a sight to behold." your mind was a bit off and still wobbly, cradling your head back to look at him through lidded eyes, meeting his lustful ones.
"shut up kaeya, you wanted this." your sassiness was maddening and set his loins on fire, truly delicious. Kaeya pulled out of you, a string of your essence connecting him to your core when he did something that almost brought you on the verge of release again.
pleasantly dizzy, his slick covered fingers found his mouth when he pried the pads past his plump lips, lapping onto his digitd to drink in what you gifted him with, moaning and groaning around his fingers and hollowing his cheeks to suck them dry.
a whisper, a moan, taking itself out on your craving body when you watched in anticipation, now fully awake and completely forgetting that kaeya was very much late for work, not to mention the little '5 minute rule from ealier' was nowhere to be found. The aroma of his scent clasped around you, filling your nostrils and getting you weak in the knees, cradling your senses.
another long inhale, you yanked his hand away and kissed him, hard. Shaking, tantalizing goosebumps bristled on your skin, a sharply edged euphoria playing in your heart upon noticing his fully erected member resting against your thigh, a big wet splotch plastered on the side.
your fingers listened to his silent pleas, traveling down his stomach before cupping his groin, caressing it with your warm palm. You rolled forward, eliciting a groan from your boyfriend when he captured you in another kiss, rutting himself into your hand like a horny beast. "you're so fucking perfect for me." he sputtered, adding his strength on your hips to pull you back abruptly.
kaeya rose up, displaying himself to you as he exposed of his shirt together with his pants and boxers, cock plopping out and standing fully erect. His tip was swollen and rosy, desperate and needy when he beckoned you to turn around, following suit.
you lowered yourself onto the silky, white pillows with your behind perked up, your drenching pussy on full display for him to indulge himself in. Fuck, he wanted to be inside you right now, wanted his cock to be drenched full with filth and lewdness and make love to you.
"five minutes, right?" he taunted you with it, amusement finding him on how you thought you’d be satiated by a mere five minutes.
kaeya couldn't wait any longer, simply draping your shirt up and not giving a single fuck to discard of it completely, your glowing back greeting him. His rough hands branded your shaking skin, a satisfied growl deep in his lungs was leaving him as he got a hold of his stiff erection to drag it in and out of the little tunnel he created with his hand.
"i'm gonna be so late." chuckling to himself and in a way, it sounded as if kaeya was making fun of said fact, butterflies cascading through his stomach at the mere sight of you alone.
of course this was way better than working and fulfilling his duties.
your glistering pussy fluttered around nothing, sobbing and aroused, still mourning the loss of his long fingers when you trapped your lower lip in between your sharp teeth, hiding a moan.
"baby—" you're mewling now, "please don't tease me, i can‘t take it." wiggling yourself back, kaeya couldn't help himself but smirk devilishly, so unbelievably handsome that the sight of it would've made you cum on the spot. "who do you think i am? i'd never!"
pretending to be shocked, he lowered himself, hands pressing on your behind and gripping the plush of your ass, squeezing and wiggling it. An electric pulse went through your bones when he brushed his cockhead within your folds, collecting your filthy essence on his skin and slobbering him wet.
the natural lubricant would come in handy, surely, kaeya was mostly rough with you and in all honesty, you didn't mind, more so did you secretly encourage it whenever he'd claim you like that, whenever he'd show you how much he desired you without actually using any words.
he was perfect, truly, he was broad and thick, pressing himself into you and filling you to the brim, cunt parting in a rough manner you wouldn't want any other way.
every twitch, turn and twist of his cock you could feel, witness and drink in, you cried out whiningly in a breathy way with tears dwelling in your eyes. He draped himself over you, chest flushed on your back and licking a straight line on the back of your neck with his rough tongue, your tiny hairs sticking into the air from convulsing shivers.
"fuck, you're so tight today." his words were lustful and imploring, savoring and distracting you from the slight discomfort of your lower region being practically impaled by him. A string of saliva connected your skin to his lips, he was messy with you, adding spit and drawing it on your neck to continue to suckle and bite the wet flesh, hitting your sweet spot but not moving where you yearned for it the most.
kaeya pushed you back, leaving his tip in and waxing over your reactions, sending a bolt of lightning down your spine upon snapping himself back, roughly and so unbelievably hard that you thought your heart would actually burst out of your chest.
crying his name you moaned in tune with the pace he was settling for, dragging his raw member into your shivering insides and rubbing deliciously on your favorite spots, punctuated thrusts pressing roughly within you.
relentless, that's how he was with you, marking and branding you with his thick cock alone, his heavy balls smacking at your behind and eliciting arousing torment in your core, feeding into your desires when the flirst droplets of tears covered your warm skin, sticking on your cheeks.
large hands tilted your hips up while simultaneously applying pressure on your back to nudge you against the mattress, the new position making it possible for kaeya to dig into you more.
yet in comparison you got tighter, your hole delicate and milking him for all he's worth. Your oversensitive pussy was on its breaking point, drooling and making a mess out of his length, swallowing him whole, as if you were made for him.
"I'm so close-" you sobbed and he growled at your voices, changing the intensity and snaking up one of his skilled hands to your shaking clit, rubbing you fiercely in tune with his hips. "i know baby, i can feel you." your heart erupted, kaeya was delving as deep as he could possibly go, blown pupils directed to where your bodies connected and sloppily drooled over each other.
kaeya believed he was in heaven, more so loving to see you dripping wet of arousal and he was the cause of it! he alone was responsible for your fucked out state, mustering the strength to keep going, rubbing and pinching your clit in between his rough pads.
tearing you forward, you cried out his name in between panting, coaxing him on to go faster, more, you needed more and had to release now.
"I'm gonna fill you up." through gritted teeth, he told you his favorite way to come undone, something about you trusting him this much was catapulting him to cloud nine. His bruising grip overthrew your body, no words were bothered to be voiced by you, far too gone with the ache in your core threatening to break, teetering on edge and so fucking close, you wanted to get there already, your whines laced with frustration.
sore, sweaty and aching you twitched around him, soul smoldering and stinging when you finally cummed hard, each thrust barreling through your body and sending you over the edge, fisting your fingers into the cushions under you while almost ripping them apart.
your toes curled inwards with your skin shaking, jolts of torment and deep pleasure grasped and hid the control of your body from you, leaving you to kaeya with your sensitivity. How hot your body became, igniting flames in you and bursting the sweet bubble in your belly, the one that sent you spiralling into desire and bliss.
he flattened his hips on you, stilling himself when he came in a broken groan. Kaeya shifted his weight up in a much more convenient angle so he wouldn't suddenly crush you or collapse on top of you from the intense orgasm.
"fuck, that's it baby, that's it." his thumbs buried into your hips, pouring his sweet cum in you and archons, did he cum a lot, it was quilling over and sobbing down your aching hole, staining your thighs together with his pelvis.
he slid his cock out before greedily swatting it back in, moaning in tandem and feeling the residue of your orgasm wash over. He sunk in on you as though overwhelmed he twitched yet again, eyes pointing towards the filth in your legs. Your entire body tightened and his groans sliced you up, how blunt and raw they sounded, how shameless and unbelievably hot.
"fuck, what a mess i made." he heaved out a satisfied sigh, grinning and laughing wildly, casting a gentle shadow on you.
turning your sore body around to face him, you met his gaze, drawing your arms out for him to kiss him. Kaeya chuckled at your adorable teary expression, leaning forward to apply kisses on your lips, swaying you with his charm.
"i don't want to go to work." he painfully admitted to you next, pouty lips pecking your nose, cheeks and going back to your mouth, nibbling on your skin.
"kaeya, you need to go to work." you gently whined at him while still being utterly sensitive.
brushing his bangs away with your fingers, you settled your warm palms on his face and watched him display puppy eyes for a bit, as if he was waiting for you to urge him to stay yet you simply squeezed his cheeks playfully in response.
he huffed out, nudging your nose as he carefully drew himself back with a frutrated sigh. You tilted your head in an irritated manner when your confused eyes followed his body leave the bedroom.
"lets hop in the shower together, i‘m going after i promise."
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
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astroterf-ed · 2 years
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[resigned to reality but still in disbelief] girl there is no way I'm paying tuition only to teach myself.
#in like 1.5 of my classes I stg the teachers don't actually teach anything related to the work they're grading#and I'm only taking 4(now three cause my seminar was a half semester) classes#my bug class actually teaches#my museum class(seminar) actually taught#my writing class.... she lectures but it's totally unrelated to our writing and imo it's very surface level and she doesn't reach a lot of#conclusions about the text as a whole#like I see more in-depth and satisfying analysis in our weekly discussion posts#I feel bad saying that too because like she clearly does want us to do well and her analysis IS interesting#it just doesn't help with the assignments she gives us#my archaeology teacher teaches but then expects us to fill in a lot of gaps in his lectures ourselves including stuff that you would need a#JSTOR subscription for lol + when someone in class asked for sources we could refer to he said 'you can probably google it'[you couldn't]#and a different time he said 'look at the slides' which didn't contain enough info to match what he requested#and like I feel in those classes I'm just succeeding because of past stockpiled knowledge/ knowledge I would have acquired anyway and it's#driving me insane because like aren't you people supposed to be helping me lol + I WANT TO BE BETTER THAN I CAN MAKE MYSELF ALONE#I WANT TO BE AFFECTED BY OTHERS#but at the same time there's no [experimental] control so it's like maybe the lectures are having effects that i'm just not registering???#april.txt#april.lore#this is the exact same fucking experience as high school except the teachers are less accessible and I'm paying for it#also in high school the lack of teachers' ability to help me was cause like... they'd try to explain things to me but I straight up didn't#understand so it was more effective to go online#not cause they didn't care/ weren't teaching their own curriculum#plus high school stuff is more google-able so it wasn't as much of a problem
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