#and anytime I'm aware that someone is reading it makes me happy

[woso-dreamzzz]

Jealous

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Pernille's a little jealous

Pernille wouldn't call herself a jealous person. She's never really wanted what others had. She's never looked at something someone has had and desperately wanted it for herself.

Similarly, she's never had a problem with people looking at Magda. She's never had a problem with fans fawning over her or some girl trying to dance with her at a club.

Pernille knows Magda loves her. She knows that Magda would never stray. They have you together. They've built a family together.

Pernille knows that you and her are the most important things in Magda's life.

Which is why it's strange that she's feeling jealous right now.

She'd just come in from training, hair slightly damp from the sudden rain shower that appeared and feeling glad she had sent you inside with Magda earlier.

Magda had cut her own session short after feeling a twinge in her ankle so went in to get it taped as a precaution.

The physio's office is where Pernille finds you and her now.

Magda's sitting in one of the beds, leg stretched outwards as one of the new physios massages her leg despite it being an ankle injury that sent her indoors.

You're in her lap and Magda's desperately trying to braid your hair back from where it's escaped from your hair tie.

She's not doing very well. Usually, she'll just throw it up into a ponytail and call it a day but Pernille thinks it's nice that Magda's trying so hard to give you a hairstyle that you'll really like.

It's a brief thought though as Pernille's eyes focus on the young physio.

She's talking to you in particular, nodding along as you babble about what you did last night and how Magda read your bedtime story and how you slept in her newest Sweden jersey.

The physio smiles at you before glancing up at Magda. "You're feeling really tight there, Mags. Really having to use all my strength here."

It's a blatant attempt at flirting as the physio bats her eyes a few times before letting out a groan of effort that could easily be sexual.

It makes Pernille's blood boil. One, because it's very obvious that she and Magda are together and two, that this new physio is using you to try and worm her way into Magda's heart.

She's fawning and cooing over you and Magda (poor, sweet, oblivious Magda) can't even tell.

That's the other annoying bit. Magda has no clue she's being flirted with and that really pisses Pernille off. It's not the first time something like this has happened before either.

Magda never knew when a girl was flirting with her. She never knew until they attempted to kiss her and Pernille had hoped that the years would have made Magda more aware of it happening but clearly not.

The physio giggles again and it takes everything in Pernille not to snap at her.

Instead, she plucks you off Magda's lap without saying anything, adjusting you so you're on her hip.

"I'm taking her home," She says, trying not to lose her temper as the physio inches her hands further up Magda's leg," The rain isn't going to let up anytime soon. Practice is postponed."

"Give me a few minutes," Magda says," We're nearly done here."

The physio pouts and it sends another bolt of anger down Pernille's spine. She doesn't like the way her hand it still on Magda's leg. It's inappropriate for work.

If Magda needs her leg massaged then Pernille would be happy to do it herself at home.

"I need to grab my bag." She says instead," If you're not by the car in five minutes then I'm leaving without you."

Momma walks off without Morsa, who scrambles away from the weird lady who was touching her.

You frown.

Momma doesn't talk to Morsa like that, all angry and annoyed. It's strange.

"Momma," You say as Momma grabs her bag and makes her way out to the car," Why's Morsa not coming with?"

Momma's jaw is clenched. You can tell.

"That's your Morsa's choice," Momma tells you as she straps you into your seat.

She slides into her chair just as Morsa comes running out the building.

She tries to open the passenger door but can't.

Momma's locked it.

"Pernille!" Magda bangs on the window. "Pernille, come on! I'm here!"

"You're late."

"I was just talking to Elizab-"

"Elizabeth!" Pernille snaps and your head ping pongs between them," Well, why don't you go back to talking to Elizabeth while you wait for your taxi to turn up!"

"Pernille! Really? Are we really going to argue right now? I don't even know what I've done wrong!"

"Then you've got lots of time on the trip home to work it out!"

Magda is silent for a while before it all seems to dawn on her. "Is this really about Elizabeth? Pernille-"

"You better not be about to tell me that it's all in my head! Her hands were way too high up to be a massage. In front of Princesse as well! In front of our child!"

"Let me in!" Magda says," I promise that I didn't realise! I thought she was just being helpful."

Pernille draws in a long breath. She knows that she's being irrational but sometimes these things just creep up on her.

She unlocks the car and Magda slips in.

"Hi, Morsa!" you chirp and she looks back to look at you.

"Hi, Princesse."

"Why'd Momma lock you out?"

Magda almost laughs as Pernille's hands clench around the steering wheel, pulling out of the parking spot and beginning to drive home.

"Well, I'm a little silly sometimes. Do you know what flirting is?"

You nod. "Like how Sam's girlfriend makes her feel all giggly and silly by talking to her."

"Exactly like that," Magda laughs," Well, Elizabeth was trying to flirt with me but I'm silly so I didn't notice."

"Oh," You say," That's bad because you're with Momma."

"That's right so that upset Momma a little bit," Magda continues," And when I didn't react to her flirting, she tried touching me to see if I was interested."

You frown. "Is that why she offered you the massage even though you hurt your ankle and not your knee?"

"That's-"

"She asked about it in front of Princesse?!" Pernille demands before this whole situation becomes a bit too funny for her liking. "And you didn't realise, Magda? God, how oblivious are you?"

Magda's cheeks go red with embarrassment. "Well," She says," I know you like me hot and oblivious. That way no one can take me from you."

Pernille full on laughs. "As if you would let yourself be taken."

"And Momma didn't like her touching you either?" You ask, your mind still trying to work out what has just happened.

"I didn't like it at all," Pernille says," And I was very annoyed that your Morsa let it happen."

The car is silent for a few minutes as you turn it over in your head before calling for Magda's attention again.

"You should tell Elizabeth that Momma will beat her up if she tries it again!"

[cagemasterfantasy]

3rd life Remastered Part 1 (Session 1)

Hello dear reader and welcome to 3rd life remastered a few things before you continue reading. First off it is highly recommended to read the prologue before this it will give you vital information about the rules of this book. Secondly the people portrayed in this story are real but are used in a fictional manner. None of what they say or deal is real this is all satire so do not go harrass the people in this book for it please. Third and this is the most important thing the main purpose of this story is to help raise awareness for those struggling with mental health and thus my warning. This story contains touchy topics of suicide and self-harm please do not read this if you are sensitive to that stuff if you aren't then please read with caution. This story is not for the faint of heart. With that said enjoy my first book

Grian says to everyone at spawn but me who is currently not there "Hello everyone and welcome to 3rd life remastered we have the whole crew here but where could our mystery player be?" I am currently running away from the group off of there camera as Grian says "That's right our mystery player is already in the server with us but he is hidden somewhere on this map stay tuned maybe you'll see who it is."

My name is TheFlyingSlime I run a Youtube channel by the same name and go by Slimer. I have been doing Youtube for the past 10 years and have 6.5 million subscribers and have no intentions of stopping anytime soon. I have collabed with everyone in the Life Series at least once (Mainly Grian as he lives 20 minutes away from me) and now I am finally a member of the Life Series. I am happy. I am fine. Nothing could go wrong..... at least that's what I want everyone to think but deep down there is a dark secret that I am hiding from everyone else. See I caught my wife Laura cheating on me 2 months ago and a few weeks later she divorced me right in front of Grian. What he doesn't know is that did a massive spike to my sanity. I lost almost everything. I am now stuck in a tiny apartment with not much but the one person (Grian aside) that I have left my 2 year old Golden Retriever Rylee. And I still got to keep my computer mic headphones and Camera. Aside from that. I am not not happy. I am not fine. Something could go wrong at any minute. I just don't want them finding out. Little did I know they were about to find out in the worst way possible. This is the day where it all began.

I find myself at the Cherry Blossom Biome after wandering a bit I find myself at an Ocean Biome. "Perfect" I say. "What's going on guys Slimer here and welcome to 3rd Life Remastered. That's right I'm the mystery player. And everyone who isn't subscribed doesn't know that yet. Now like always let's see how I unintentionally embarrass myself my slimelets (What I call my followers). And we found a Ocean Biome so-" "Hello is someone there?" "That better not be" I see Smajor1995 emerge from the Cherry Blossom with TangoTek behind him. "Eyyy my buddies" Scott: That's right guys our mystery player is none other than Slimer. The one I beat big time at Bedwars. TangoTek: And I lost miserably in that round. "Well you still beat me in TNT Run" TangoTek: I suppose that's true. So whatcha doin here? "I'm thinking of building a pirate ship here. Interested?" Scott: "Not a bad idea if you don't mind someone sneaking up and setting the whole thing on fire but I like it" I look happy "Great so let's set out for materials leave the trees close to the shore alone I have an idea for an alarm system" Tango: And what's that "I'm going to the Ancient City to set up Shulk Shriekers" Scott looks at me like I just turned into an Elephant Scott: Are you absolutely insane one mess up and you're dead "Look I just think that the Shriekers will alert us if someone approaches" A message then appears in everyone's chat saying the Boogeyman and partner are being chosen in 1 minute. "Hey if any of us get chosen can we make an agreement?" Tango: What is it? "If any of us is the Boogeyman or the Partner can we agree that we won't kill each other?" Scott: "Of course of course we won't- Hey there's a name coming from the trees." "Oh no it's Jimmy the loser" Jimmy: "HEY I am not a loser" The message 5....4.......3..........2...........1.............You are.......................................Not the Boogeyman or Partner

Everyone present breathes a sigh of relief simultaneously. "Anyway loser what are you doing here?" Jimmy: So our mystery player is Slimer eh btw I'm not the only one who's here. "Yeah Scott and Tango are with me too" Jimmy: And 2 other people. "Who?" I then hear 2 voices "Bdubs and Scar huh? HAHAHAHAHA WHAT'S GOOD" Scar: Hey there so you're our mystery player huh? Bdubs: What's going on Slimer? Hhahahahahah "My 2 favorite people" Scott and Tango simultaneously say "HEY WHAT ABOUT US?" "Hey I like you guys too hey everyone I was thinking of making a pirate ship called Pirate's Cove everyone in" Scar: Oooooh I like the sound of that Bdubs: I've always wanted to be a pirate I'm in Jimmy: Pirates eh? Can't say I haven't thought of that before. Eh why not? "Alright let's get our resources I meanwhile am heading to the Ancient City for Skulk Shriekers" Jimmy: Seems I'm not Jimmy the loser for long you're gonna die "No I won't I'm sneaky I'm stealthy and I know how to troll and use mods" Scar: "And unintentionally embarrass yourself I may add" Rylee lays down in my lap "Aww hi Ry Ry" Bdubs: Aww I wish I could have a fluffy puppy "Then go adopt a fluffy puppy" I say as I head to the ancient city after setting my spawn on the beach

I finally make it to the deep dark and water bucket clutch and sneak immediately whispering "ooooooh that was close look at how close I was to that" I then start to hear voices in my head "Your teamates don't care about you" They will just use your for your own gains" I put my hands on my head and grunt reaching for my inhaler as a panic attack starts and I'm breathing heavily "You should just give up you aren't fit for the Life Series" I put my inhaler in my mouth and see Etho's name Etho: "Hey Slimer *he says whispering* you ok? you sound out of breath" I don't respond right away Etho: "Slimer hey focus" I snap back into reality Me: Oh hey Etho *I accidentely trigger a Shrieker and whisper* Oh no that's strike 1 for me" Etho: Yeah be quiet less you want to get obliterated" Me: Ok ok *I say whispering* So why are you hear?" Etho: Trying to get some loot before everyone else you?" Me: Using the Shriekers as alarm systems for my base" Mumbo then suddenly falls from the ceiling and water bucket clutches Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH *I activate another Shrieker* Etho: I told you to be quiet" Me: Excuse me for getting spooked by a falling mustache Mr.Ninja" Mumbo pulls out a spyglass and whispers Aha Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" strike 3 the Warden is summoned as we all scatter Etho follows me and I get an uneasy feeling Etho: Don't worry I have your back" After a few minutes Etho pulls out a iron sword and hits me with it Me: NOOO" The Warden who's nearby hears me and fires a sonic blast at me dealing a huge chunk of damage to me although I do manage to get away Etho is hot on my tail as soon as he sees Mumbo he shouts Etho: He's getting away get him" Mumbo then charges at me and criticals me I try to fight back but I'm on my last heart and Etho gets the kill as the message "TheFlyingSlime was slain by Ethoslab" appears and everyone of the players in the chat go wild.

I am in utter disbelief as I respawn at the now complete ship everyone in utter disbelief but still laughing a bit. Scar: You didn't you died to the Bogey huh?" Jimmy: WHO'S THE LOSER NOW" I am not there I am hearing the voices again "You should just give up you aren't going to win" "You're pathetic you're a big fat letdown who'll never be good at anything" *I hear mocking laughing as I snapped back into reality* Bdubs: Hey Earth to Slimer what happened?" I shake my head Me: Er right Etho was the Boogeyman and I'm NOW THE FIRST YELLOW NAME" Scott: Calm down alright it's not that big of a deal what happened?

I take a deep breath and begin talking Me: I went down there and Etho was down there I forgot to whisper and accidentally activated a Shrieker that was strike 1. Strike 2 a mustache fell from the ceiling. and caused me to scream. Jimmy: MUMBO WAS THE PARTNER? Me: Yes but I didn't know right away but strike 3 he did that stupid AHA with the spyglass and he knows very well I hate that. So I shouted NOOOOOOOOO and that was strike 3. Got an uneasy feeling while Etho was following me he attacked me Warden sonic blasted me Mumbo criticaled me and you know what happens next. Scott: Well we sure aren't letting Etho or Mumbo near here we'll protect you until we turn Red that is our agreement" Bdubs: Yeah that wasn't cool what they did picking on the new guy. I could take both of them" Me: Honestly I could have taken them if Mumbo hadn't gotten a crit.

After some more building Pirates Cove is officially finished.

Tango: Hey since you are Yellow and you went through a lot down there you can be the captain" Bdubs: Hey why can't we be the captain?" I lean into my mic and do my best Bdubs impression Me: There's lava up here" Everyone but Bdubs bursts out laughing Bdubs: Stop bringing that up" Me: Then stop making your deaths so hilariously funny" Another death message appears "Bigbst4tz2 hit the ground too hard while trying to escape Grian" Scott: Are you kidding me not even an hour after this one dies you should stay in the captain's quarters and Not. Leave. The. Ship" "You don't need to tell me twice" Grian types in the chat No I am not the Bogey I was the Partner but I helped the Bogey get a kill and that Bogey was Tay. For the record it still counts if the Partner gets a kill so long as the Bogey also participated and gets a hit Me: I will keep that in mind"

I go into the Captains quarters and see Tnt Cannons as Tango comes back Tango: Got some more Redstone for the cannons." Scott: Our Captain Slimer is still holed up in there we aren't taking any chances losing our captain" Tango: Slimer you ok to talk? Me: Come on in Tango I trust you" Tango: Hey we made an agreement not to kill each other so long as we aren't red remember" Me: Enter then" Tango enters and goes to the cannons Tango: Made these myself ready to watch them fire off? Me: You know it" As Tango fires one off Cleo comes out from the treeline and narrowly avoids getting hit and everyone is laughing as Cleo storms over to the ship Cleo: WHICH ONE OF YOU BUFFOONS WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT" Me and Tango exit and see Cleo Cleo: Well well well Tango and Slimer what an absolute surprise Me: Tango was the one who fired the cannon" Tango: Nice going" Cleo: Are you absolutely mental? Me: To his credit we didn't expect you to be coming out of the treeline and almost get hit" Cleo: I actually came over to join you guys and see what you were up to and I almost get blown up and I see you have Jimmy with you that's a bad choice and Scar as well why am I not surprised" Scar: Hey back off we both lost pets this year and he feeds me with a ton of juicy Star Wars content and on top of that me and him are both medical buddies me having Neuromusclar disease and him having Asthma" Scott: Yeah he has Chronic Lung Cancer go a bit easy on him" Me: Scott thanks but please don't joke about that please it's not funny" Scott: I was being serious" I start to hear the voices again "Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? They don't care about you making jokes at your expense. They don't love you at all" Me: Not again Bdubs: What's wrong" Jimmy: Are you feeling ok?" Scar: Hey is your Asthma kicking in?" I start breathing little heavily "Just accept your fate you useless worm nobody will miss you" Bdubs: HEY EARTH TO SLIMER Cleo: Slimer why have you gone quiet?" I suddenly snap out of it Me: Oh uh sorry I was just thinking how funny it would have been if Cleo died and became yellow like me" Cleo: THAT IS NOT FUNNY" Jimmy: It is a little funny" Cleo: I'll show you funny" Me: Hey let's not fight on my ship please"

Grian then types in the chat end of session everyone to spawn

As we head to spawn Grian is there with Impulse and Pearl there

Grian: Explain to everyone why you're in the center and why" Impulse: I was the next Bogey and couldn't get a kill Pearl: I was the partner and couldn't help to get a kill Grian: So as punishment the server is going to be giving you a extremely hard task if you do not complete it by the end of next session you immediately become Red if you are not already. Me: Question? Grian: Yes? Me: What if you're Red and you don't complete the task Grian: Then you are immediately eliminated at the end of the session in front of everyone that still remains. Assuming you're still alive that is and believe me the Red tasks are brutal." Me: What about the Partner? Grian: The Partner doesn't get a task it's whoever the Bogey is. Oh and I know what you're going to ask and yes if you are a Red Name like in Secret Life you are allowed to sabotage the one with the task with one guess and immediately cause to fail should you guess right. However if someone that is yellow or green guesses it you are not counted as failing unless the task specifically says that you fail if someone calls you out. And finally yes you are only allowed to share what your task is to The Partner and nobody else unless the task says otherwise."

Purple swirls surround Impulse and a book appears in his hand Impulse: Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

The voices begin again as I am about to join the Discord and chat with the rest of the players in a group call but first I send my footage to my editor @doodl3 and tell her "Here's your footage go on and laugh if you want I embarrassed myself yet again like I always do" Then the voices pick up "Liar" "Deceiver"

End of part 1 next is the Irl segment part 1

Prologue Next

[faaun]

I know right now you deserve compassion but I think it's necessary to untie you from the burden of liking her so strongly so I feel like you need to hear this: I've been in a similar situation to you and when she says it's not possible to give you anything she means she's not doing that for you. the facts that she wants to keep going on dates with other people implies she's still looking for someone else, because whatever she could give, she's saving for someone she's hoping to find and it's not going to you. and right now you're just her company while she finds whoever that is. being in her proximity feels great I know, but believe me, it's better to leave before she tells you she found who she wanted and you realize everything she told you was just to keep you around not out of love but out of utilitarianism and necessity. you feel like it's sorrowful that she can't see how happy you could make her but she doesn't care. and if she knows anytime she calls you'll go it's worse, and if she knows she doesn't even have to call because you'll do it without her lifting a finger, even worse. stop calling her and believe your anger, she's being very transparent. you sound so loving, intelligent, and tender, so giving, you will find someone who will see this and wants to pour into you just as you want to pour into them, I promise. feeling used is devastating but I wish you all the strength and luck in the world, and I send you a hug, you will recover!

hi i read this like 3 times since u sent it ily and thank you for sending it it's like being slapped awake ! hurts to think abt but it's true :')

the worst thing is yeah, i'm aware of this bc she made it quite clear - to her credit she is transparent, as you said :') not abt her looking for someone else but more abt her not particularly caring abt me specifically etc etc but ofc you're right abt the implications of her dating others . anyway yh we are no longer talking + i am no longer calling it is genuinely over which is painful but the right thing to do but ouch! thank you sm for the hug i hope i recover soon as well ♡

[random-writer-23]

Welcoming committee (Ben Hargreeves x F reader)

A/n: This isn't one of my best fanfics, but I think it's still good enough to post for y'all so I hope you enjoy it! I might go back and re-write it sometime soon to make it a bit better and repost it later but Happy reading and as usual all likes, comments, follows, and reblogs are appreciated!

Warnings: reader dying, grief, talks of afterlife

Words: 2055

So there I was, laying down on the hospital bed, my breathing ragged, with my mother sitting gripping my hand as if her life depended on it. When in reality it was mine, that depended on it. She was crying, sobbing, as she held my hand between hers with her head bowed as if she was praying. My dad stood behind her glints of teardrops in his eye, but none fell, cause my father never cried, at least not when I was watching, he would let his tears fall once my eyes were closed for the final time, and I was no longer watching him. They would close for the last time, it was inevitable, my fate was sealed in stone. I was doomed to die here in this hospital bed. And I've accepted it, but that's not to say I liked it, I hated it I was too young I was supposed to live a long and happy life, I was supposed to go to college and get married and have kids. But life doesn't always happen the way it's supposed' to, things happen, you get sick and you go to the hospital, and they can't save you. And then you die, that was the next step, and I could feel it was going to be completed very soon. I could feel my heart slowing down, and how it got harder to breathe, I could vaguely hear the heart monitor beside my bed pause for longer and longer between each beep. My mother heard to and this brought on another round of sobs from her, these ones much louder, than the ones before. She gripped my hand tighter, and I turned my head towards her, I squeezed her hand weakly, and smiled slightly. 

"I-I l-love-ve yo-ou" I whispered my voice raspy.

"I l-love y-you m-more," My mom said stuttering as she smiled at me. 

I sighed contently and closed my eyes, perfect timing... I could still hear everything going on around me, I heard the machine flat line, and my mothers choked sobs as my arm went limp as she grasped it. I heard the doctors and nurses running in to try and save me but their attempts were futile. I wouldn't be waking up anytime soon. I heard one of the doctors shouting clear as they tried to restart my heart. I felt the jolts of electricity but I didn't at the same time. I was aware of everything and nothing at the same time. I heard the doctors apologizing to my mom saying that they couldn't save me. I heard her sobbing louder. But these sounds were distant, and far off, and were fading by the minute. 

"Hey, wake up" I heard someone say gently, and I was confused. It was a new voice, one that was unfamiliar to my ears. The weird thing was that this voice sounded closer than all the other voices. "c' mon you just gotta open your eyes" The voice said softly, coaxing me to obey. So I did, I struggled at first but eventually opened my eyes. I blinked a few times to clear my blurry vision and the room cleared. I was still in my hospital room, and my parents were still by my bedside, nothing had changed, my mom was still clutching my hand tightly. And now as I looked towards my father, I finally saw the tears streaming down his cheeks. He was crying. The heart monitor still connected to my arm was a continuous green line on the screen.

 "I'm over here" The unfamiliar voice brought me out of my trance and I turned my head towards the direction of the voice. I saw a boy, leaning up against the wall of my hospital room. He had a hood on hiding his face, but I could see just enough of it to tell he was a boy. He straightened up off the wall and walked towards me. I watched him approach me, and surprisingly I wasn't afraid, at least not of him. He stood next to me, and I could see his face fully for the first time. He had a kind face, eyes that looked as if they were smiling even though they had no mouth to smile with, they sparkled with mischief, wit, and humour. But when you looked deeper sorrow, and pain. His face was one that could be easily trusted, and one of a person who was shy, but well-liked by everyone he wished to talk to. He offered his hand to me, I looked at it and reached out to take it. He smiled at me, but the smile didn't reach his eyes, and instead seemed to dull the twinkle I saw in them earlier. I gripped his hand tighter as he helped me sit up. This wasn't unusual, sitting up is a normal thing all people do, except this was unusual because I was sitting up, but my body was laying down. My body was still laying down on the bed with my parents crying over it. 

"Your soul has been separated from your body" The boy explained, without me even needing to ask the question. 

"So I'm dead," I asked, noticing how my voice was no longer the raspy wheeze it was when I was in the hospital bed, and I let go of his hand.

"Essentially yes," He said lowering his eyes avoiding my gaze.

"Oh, ok" I nodded, handling my death surprisingly well. I glanced at the boy "So are you like... Death.... or like the grim reaper.... or god or someone?" I asked eyeing him up and down. "Have you like to come to collect my soul?" I asked again curiously wondering if I was standing before death himself. 

"Oh god no, um, I am um" He hesitated as if deciding whether or not to tell me his name, I'm guessing he decided to tell me because a few seconds later he answered. "I'm Ben, Ben Hargreeves" He introduced himself and offered his hand for me to shake it. 

"Nice to meet you, Ben, I'm (Y/n), (y/n)(l/n)" I replied shaking his hand. 

"Nice to meet you (y/n)" He said letting go of my hand, he glanced at the clock on the wall. "we should get going," He said solemnly, glancing over to my parents who were still crying over my dead body. I followed his gaze and stared sadly at them. "I'll let you say goodbye" He murmured, "God knows I wish I got the chance" He mumbled barely loud enough for me to hear. I glanced at him as a frown crossed my face, but he already had his back turned and was walking through the door, to wait outside. I turned back towards where my parents were still crying, my dad, hugging my mom's sobbing and shaking shoulders, and shedding quite a few tears himself. I walked around the bed and tried to touch my mom's shoulder, but my hand just went right through it. I sighed whispering my last goodbyes, hoping that they heard or felt something. Before walking to the door of the hospital room. I turned back once more to take one last look at them before exiting the room. Ben stood on the outside of the door, waiting for me. 

"so why are you here Ben?" I asked curiously as to what he was doing here. "Not that I don't enjoy your company" I added quickly so I didn't offend him. 

"Well, I am your welcoming committee" He replied, and I nodded my head in understanding. 

"Why?" I asked curious to see why a guy would volunteer to welcome a complete stranger to the afterlife. 

"You see when I died, I had no one, literally no one, I never knew my real parents, so I didn't know my grandparents or any of my real family" he explained as we walked out the hospital, and I followed wherever he was leading me.  "I didn't want anyone else to experience that so I go to as many places as I can and act as a welcoming committee, to those who have recently died," He said reaching up to rub his hand on the back of his neck shyly. I giggled, this guy was a literal angel, so pure and soft. "Yeah, I know, it's stupid" He mumbled, as I giggled again. 

"It's not stupid it's sweet..." I smiled at him and he smiled back

"you really think so?" He asked curiously, hope filling his voice. 

"yeah I do, but I just have one question," I said pausing

"alright shoot" He glanced up at a street sign to make sure we were going the right way 

"why me?" I asked, genuinely curious about his answer. 

"you're like me," He replied pausing before he continued. "You were too young to die, so full of life, and you had so much to live for" He spoke passionately, firmly believing in what he was saying. I chuckled as he sighed, "and well I was the same way, too young and full of life, and had dreams of living forever and growing up and having a family..." He trailed off sniffling a little, I looked at his face which was focused intently on the sidewalk. I put my hand on his shoulder, as an act of sympathy, he smiled and wiped his nose. "plus you're really pretty" He added his face turning red like a tomato, as he avoided looking me in the eyes. My face went up in flames. 

"t-thanks" I stuttered, avoiding his eyes as well. We walked on in silence for a few more minutes before he stopped walking, and cleared his throat. 

"we're here," He said gesturing towards a big house with two gates in front of the wood doors, the black gates had umbrellas on them which I thought strange. Ben opened the gates as well as the door and led me inside. 

"what are we doing here Ben?" I said following him through the main hallway and under a giant chandelier

"We are meeting my brother" He answered 

"why? and what is this place?" I asked as we entered a room with animal heads mounted along the walls and the portrait of a boy hanging above the fireplace. 

"my brother can talk to the dead, and this was my childhood home," He said grasping my hand and pulling me out of the room when I lingered too long looking at a portrait of a family hanging on another wall. I saw a little boy that kind of looked like Ben in the painting before he pulled me away. 

"So your brother can talk to us?" I asked in disbelief as he continued holding my hand while leading me up a big staircase. 

"yes" He answered, he led me down a hallway to where I assumed his brother's room was and opened the door peeking inside. He stopped inside the door frame but didn't let go of my hand, and so I saw no need to remove it from his. He was looking at a boy around our age, maybe a little older, sitting on the bed knitting with a ball of yarn on his stomach. He cleared his throat to get the boy on the bed's attention. The boy on the bed looked towards Ben and his face lit up. 

"BEN YOU'RE BACK!" He squealed in delight before catching sight of me, he raised his eyebrows before looking down and noticing my hand in Ben's. The boy raised his eyebrows even higher and said "well, well well, Benny brought a GiRl with him" He said in a sing-songy tone. 

"Shut up Klaus," Ben said, chuckling a little, still not bothering to remove his hand from mine. 

"Does Benny Boo have a little ghostie GIRLFRIEND?" The boy I now knew was named Klaus teased dancing around the room, taunting Ben. Ben looked down at the floor clearly embarrassed. 

"I wish" Ben mumbled, making me giggle, I made a split second decision, and leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. His face flared up again and he looked at me with wide eyes. I giggled again. 

"Awe Benny has a girlfriend," Klaus said squealing in delight, as Ben continued to blush, and smile a little. 

--Fin--

QOTD: What's your favorite Ben and Klaus moment? 

Join my discord: https://discord.gg/9bwRmtXCuB

[a-trick-or-two-with-lepers]

Ranking My Favorite Jesus Christ Superstar (1973) Songs

Twenty-two songs. Five hours. One helpless, JCS-obsessed tumblr user who has so many other things they could be doing with their time. Get ready!

Disclaimers: I'm going to try to base my ranking on the soundtrack alone, but for some numbers, I really can't separate the song from the visuals. I won't be including "The Crucifixion" or "John 19:41," since those don't really count imo. The former, I will say, has some of my favorite chaos jazz that's ever been produced, so I'll give it that. Also! I LOVE this musical, and I LOVE this movie. Even the lowest songs have made it onto my playlists once or twice. So if I bash your fav, don't be too offended <3

22. Peter’s Denial - This one is really only low on the list because of how short it is. All things considered, I really like that funky little intro. Also, I think Mary, Peter, and whoever that third guy in the scene is with them (John??) would make a good throuple YEAH I SAID IT.  

21. Hosanna - I don’t know why I’m putting this one so low, either. It’s very fun and pleasant to listen to, and it’s got some great ensemble work, which is always something I jive with. I guess it’s just not as captivating to me as some of the other songs in this film. I actually like some other versions of this song better than the 1973 one (!!) Nevertheless, this song is genuinely really good and it shows that, hey, Jesus can smile! 

20. Then we are Decided - This is the only production of the musical I’m aware of that contains this song. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, it’s a great song. I don’t know if ALW+Tim Rice are physically capable of collaboratively making a bad song. Also, I love Bob Bingham and Kurt Yaghjians’ voices, so anytime I get to hear them, I’m happy. On the other hand, I can see why this one was taken out of most productions. It wasn’t in the original concept album, and it kind of breaks up the story. It does provide extra context for Caiaphas’s motivation, but it doesn’t say much that isn’t reiterated in “This Jesus Must Die.” There just really isn’t a place for it in most productions, which is such a shame. At least we got this amazing screengrab out of it. Annas, you creepy little shit, I love you.

19. Pilate’s Dream - It took me far too long to recognize that this is the same song as the second part of “Poor Jerusalem,” which is funny given that they are right next to each other in the movie. I love the acoustic guitar in this one, and Barry Dennen is seriously one of the most subtly expressive actors I’ve seen. You could watch this scene 1,000 times and still be picking up new context on your 1,001st viewing. As far as the song goes, it’s a very nice introduction to Pilate’s character. Also, I think that discordant “Pilate” the chorus sings at the end doesn’t get enough praise.

18. King Herod’s Song - First of all, the way this scene just. 1) Inserts itself into the film 2) Refuses to elaborate 3) Leaves. I love it. I love how uncomfortable Herod’s whisper singing makes me, I love his campy friends, everything about this scene is amazing. It’s an absolute 180 in terms of tone, but I kind of love it for that.

17. I Don’t Know How to Love Him - I find it interesting that the most popular song from this soundtrack is also what many consider to be the most boring. Personally, I find the song very beautiful and fascinating, but I can see why it’s skippable for some. I’m just a massive fan of Yvonne Elliman. I think the only people that have come close to her version are Helen Reddy and Sara Bareilles. Also, I like to read this song as someone rediscovering their own self-worth through love after experiencing trauma from past relationships, which I think is a very relatable struggle.

16. Pilate and Christ - Pilate is just. So sassy. What’s most impressive about this performance is that Barry Dennen considered himself an actor first and a singer second. His acting is certainly spot-on, but his singing is pretty fantastic as well! The tension between Pilate and Jesus in this scene almost rivals that of Jesus and Judas… almost.

15. Overture - An overture is meant to provide the audience with a bit of musical context for what they’re about to hear. This piece does a very good job at that. The electric guitars immediately invoke intrigue- then the horns come in, then the strings and percussion get going, and at this point, any viewer of this film would be hard-pressed not to be at least a little excited. Then the “Heaven on Their Minds” riff starts, and I, for one, was instantly hooked. I especially like the violin bit near the end. The chorus wordlessly mimicking what will be Judas’ sung betrayal is chilling. The whole thing is a beautiful combination of rock music and traditional broadway styling, which is a good description of the rock opera in general. 

14. The Arrest - I really like the leitmotif that is used whenever Jesus is overwhelmed by a crowd. It was used with the temple-goers, the lepers, and now with his own people that have turned against him (and some who cautiously maintain their support for him). Also, like Matt Berry said, the “Now we have him, now we’ve got him” bit of the song is pretty bone-chilling. 

13. Could We Start Again Please? - I really like this song. I know it wasn’t in the original concept album, but its placement actually makes sense, and Ms. Elliman, naturally, sounds heavenly. The melody of this song is really nice, and it doesn’t sound at all out of place in the movie. 

12. What’s the Buzz/Strange Thing Mystifying - This is one of those songs that’s hard not to move around to. It’s just so much fun! It also is Jesus’s first physical and vocal appearance, and WOW. Neeley is a truly underrated 70s rock singer. His voice is impeccably strong and gorgeous. He’s somehow been criticized for this role (mostly by angry Catholics) for being too untouchable and emotionless. I just can’t agree with that. Did any of those reviewers even listen to the movie they were watching? Neeley’s far-off gaze is not something he can change, and I for one think it adds to the character. He provides what I think is the best portrayal of Jesus Christ in any production of JCS. Besides that, the ensemble is doing great here, too! I promised not to get too involved in the visuals for this ranking, but I have to mention the movements in this scene. The apostles and women are just so jumpy and full of energy. It really makes the scene fun to watch. And Mary! I’m a long-time fan of Yvonne Elliman, and she was the only person I knew of beforehand going into this film. Her voice is so mature and unique, which is perfect for the role of Mary. She was the initial performer of this role in the concept album, the broadway show, and the film, and it shows. This role belongs to her. Obviously, it’s a bit annoying that we got yet another portrayal of Mary as an ex-sex-worker, but if we got “Strange Thing Mystifying” out of it, I can’t be too mad. Judas really gives off jealous bitch vibes here, but he does make some good points.

11. Everything’s Alright - Oh Yvonne, who allowed you to steal my heart? Seriously, she sounds so, so lovely in this song. This song is so calming. It uses a 5/4 time signature, which gives it distinction. The contrast between the cool comfort of Mary’s voice and the angsty gravel of Judas’ voice is very striking. Both Judas and Jesus hit some insanely difficult belts here, and they do so flawlessly. This scene also expands on the relationship between Judas and Jesus, which is jam-packed with not-entirely-heterosexual intensity. As the chorus repeats the titular line at the end with increasing volume and intensity, we get the distinct impression that everything is, in fact, not alright.

10. The Last Supper - I could go either way on the apostle’s part. It’s good, and it has some good harmonies in the latter parts, and it also reminds me of John Denver somehow? Anyway, the mellow gold aesthetic is one of my favs, but that’s not why I love this song. The absolute release of tension that is the fight between Jesus and Judas is captivating. My head moves as if I’m watching a heated tennis match when these two get going. I’ve seen versions of their interaction that just don’t go well on stage because the parts require so much energy and intensity, and sometimes they have this, but it just doesn’t sound good. But since this is a film, we can be confident that we are seeing and hearing the best takes from the actors. In this version, I can feel the heat between J and J, but they also sound fucking amazing while arguing. Their final interaction tugs at my heart. And these two actors portray their relationship with such authenticity that it’s almost hard to watch any other version without holding this up as the standard. Also, fun fact: they separate at exactly 1 hour into the film.

9. This Jesus Must Die - I have a big crush on both Caiaphas and Annas. Their voices just mesh so well together; Annas has these Al Stewart-like whimsical vocals, and Caiaphas has this deep, sexy growl. (I have a raging hard-on for good bass voices if you couldn’t tell). They sometimes put baritone singers in this role, which just doesn’t really work. This part needs a man who sounds like he just came out of the black lagoon and desperately needs a drink. Along with how it sounds, the lyrics of this song are super clever. The “Jesus is Cool” line is an inside joke in the community- they removed it from many popular productions, which is disappointing as hell. It’s one of the best lines in the song! Anyway, as far as “villain” songs go, this one is top-tier for sure.

8. Damned for all Time/Blood Money - I love me some good Judas angst. But in all seriousness, this song is ridiculously hard to sing. It would be enough with the sheer number of words sung in quick succession, but it is also written in a pretty high register. I, as a female alto, struggle to comfortably reach some of the notes, but Carl Anderson, of course, does it flawlessly. Of course, I’m also obsessed with Caiaphas and Annas, so any song they’re in makes me kick my feet like a schoolgirl. This scene, being the turning point in the show, makes its mark and has impeccable pacing for such a chaotic number.

7. Judas’ Death - Carl Anderson is a performer. I felt everything Judas felt in this scene. His reprise of “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” is impossible to look away from or tune out. When I first watched this scene, I didn’t know Judas was going to reprise the fucking love ballad. My jaw was on the floor the whole time. Other actors sometimes make this part sound ugly and raw, which is fine, but emotion can be portrayed while singing while still sounding good. That’s what really gets me about this version. You can feel the raw emotion, and yet you can’t deny how good the singing is. I also didn’t know Judas was going to straight up hang himself, and that kind of shocked me. To think this movie was rated G back in the day! 

6. Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem - Oh man. I’ve gotta be careful here if I want to keep my ranking based on sounds alone, cause this scene is just visually AMAZING. I might make a post about how much I adore this scene- the choreography, the craftsmanship, the absolutely iconic shots, the goofy ass freeze frames- I just love it all so much. The song is nothing to sneeze at, either. It feels like something you’d hear in one of those fun-loving, joyful churches that promote same-sex marriage. Larry Marshall has such a cool voice; you can tell he really put his all into it. Apparently, he initially tried to reign it in so as to respect the source material, but Norman Jewison just told him to go all out. So that’s what he did. It makes for a damn good number. As for “Poor Jerusalem,” I love hearing Ted Neeley’s softer voice. When he reaches into his falsetto, it sends shivers up my spine. 

5. The Temple - I love a good ⅞ song. Additionally, I love a good ensemble song. In addition to that addition, I love seeing Jesus go off and flip tables and shit. But that’s not why this one is so high on my list. This song skyrockets up my personal ranking due to what happens between the temple and the leper scenes, when Neeley scream-sings “MY TEMPLE SHOULD BE A HOUSE OF PRAYER, BUT YOU HAVE MADE IT A DEN OF THIEVES! GET OUT! GET OUT!” I get actual chills every time I listen to him do that. I also really like the way the leper scene ramps up musically. It starts off slow and creepy, and ends in a wholly claustrophobic panic-inducing chant. The harmonies are also very pleasing. 

4. Trial Before Pilate - This song is a masterclass in rock opera composition. Barry Dennen’s performance is absolutely, without a doubt, the most incredible embodiment of this role that I’ve seen. Pilate’s songs were essentially made for him, because like Ms. Elliman, he was the first to play his respective role. I genuinely don’t know how he was able to perform Pilate night after night on tour, because this role is supremely demanding vocally. You can tell he is a professional, though, because you can’t just scream at the top of your lungs every night without good technique. I could say a lot more about this one, but I’ll save that for another time.

3. Superstar - I really wish the little guitar intro was kept in future versions of this song. (How many times can I talk about guitar intros in this ranking??) This song is SO! MUCH! FUN! I have to take a second to talk about the cinematography in this scene… it’s really something else. It mayyyy have influenced the ranking, just a bit. Nonetheless, it’s Carl Anderson singing, so of course, this song sounds stupendous. He hits those high notes like it’s nothing. Also, I have to say: this number is very clearly directly influenced by motown-style music, and hearing a black man singing it just feels right. In fact, rock as a genre can be traced back to music created and sustained by black folks. It makes sense that my favorite versions of this musical involve diverse casts. Anyway, I really like this song because of how direct it is with its message. It’s not only Judas asking these things of Jesus, but us as the audience. Why would he put himself in such a bad position? How could he let it get this out of hand? Did he lose his message along the way? Contemplative shit like that set to a 70’s disco dance scene has me losing my mind, and I’m absolutely in love with it.

2. Gethsemane - I was considering putting this song lower, both to piss off my discord friends and because I genuinely enjoy listening to other songs from this soundtrack more, but I just had to give it a high-ranking spot. By this point you must be well aware of my love for Ted Neeley and his rock-god voice, but he really, truly steps it up here. It says a lot that he is still able to perform this song at almost 80 years old. He cares about what he’s doing. A lot. And while I’m not religious, some of my favorite music comes from religious people simply because they believe they are singing for something bigger than themselves. I strive to achieve that passion with my own voice and music, and I believe it can be done without a connection to a higher being. You just have to trust your own voice and focus on your message/role, and Mr. Neeley does not fail on this front. All of this, and he hits the g5 note perfectly. He seriously sounds so goddamn amazing and I’m tired of people saying he’s overrated. Give this man the respect he deserves.

1. Heaven on Their Minds - I could gush about Carl Anderson’s performance of this song for hours, and I mean HOURS. Not only does he completely embody the role of Judas, but he sounds damn good while doing it. He combines this gravelly rasp with clean, clear notes, and every belt is perfectly executed. The agonized fade-out at the end is not something that’s really possible on-stage, so I appreciate it all the more in the movie. This was the first song in the musical that I saw in full, and it’s really what started my obsession. Even though HOTM is a nearly perfect musical theater/rock song, it was Mr. Anderson’s performance of it that got to me.  To me, he IS Judas whenever he’s on screen. His voice is just… spectacular. Additionally, as an agnostic person, the lyrics in this song really resonate with me. “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” instantly became one of my favorite lines in musical theater upon first listen. Like I said, I could go on and on about this one, so I’ll just go ahead and stop myself here.

FINALLY! DONE! Whoo, that took much longer than expected (probably because I kept getting distracted) but I had a lot of fun making it. Lemme know your thoughts/opinions/insults/threats in the comments/reblogs/tags <3

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

Cruz

To whoever is reading this: I hope whatever holiday you happen to celebrate this time of year is going fantastic for you! Best wishes, and Happy New Year!!!

I personally celebrate Christmas (and even if I didn't, gift-giving would still be my primary love language to friends and family), so I figured it would be fun to create a fanego as a present for my amazing buddy @sammys-magical-au! Just a little something to show my gratitude for all the times they've helped me brainstorm for my stories!

(I might try to do this for more of my Tumblr friends next year; I'll admit that this instance was kinda last-minute 😅)

So, since this character is for Sammy, he's obviously a LixianEgo

Cruz is basically my headcanon name for the character that Lixian voices in Late Night Mop. (I actually brought up the idea of making said character into an ego in an ask I sent to Sammy a while ago.)

When I watched the Let's Plays of LNM roll out, I grew attached to the theory that the whole last-minute cleaning job was actually just a trap/long-con to appease the demon that had been summoned.

So. . .yeah. Cruz may not be part of a cult, but he's still what most wannabe cultists like to pretend they are. As for why Cruz chose to make a hobby out of summoning horrific abominations. . .well, I'm not really sure, but I know he's not gonna explain himself anytime soon.

I won't say Cruz isn't a bit of a misanthropist, but he still knows how to interact with others. I.e., how to put on a personable facade in order to "make friends" until he's gained enough of their trust to lure them into his escapades. You can't just mingle with outer monstrosities without making a sacrifice or two, after all.

On the other side of the coin, Cruz has a shocking knack for taking mind-melting eldritch vibes in stride. Honestly, he's way more casual and collected when hanging out with atrocities against nature than he is around his fellow humans.

He's grown a decent collection of occult books/artifacts over the years. Most things in this collection have been acquired through less-than-legal means, because duh. Cruz has long-since learned to navigate the more paranormal side of the Dark Web/Black Market.

He's picked up several languages in order to translate for his projects. Some are human (such as Latin/Pig Latin). Others. . .not so much (the pronunciation is difficult for someone without multiple forked tongues, but Cruz is nothing if not a determined bastard, so he manages).

He's also musically-inclined (inspired by the fact that there's a violin hanging on the wall in LNM's master bedroom). The majority of summoning rituals don't require music, but he'll be over the moon whenever he manages to find one that does.

If LNM didn't make it obvious, Cruz isn't phased by gory stuff. Hell, the bloody mess in that game is small potatoes compared to some of the other offerings/rituals he's set up in the past (and in the future. . .😈)

That demon from LNM wasn't the first ungodly creature Cruz has summoned, and it certainly won't be the last, either. In fact, his latest schemes may or may not involve. . .ah, what's his name again? Oh yeah! The terrifying EldritchPlier himself, as well as Lunky and Co. (*cough-cough* Cruz has also probably entered a contract with my very own LeviathanPat on the side *cough-cough*)

Thanks to all the surreal shenanigans he's experienced, Cruz has developed a literal sixth sense. Though it takes concentration/mental strength, he can see/hear/feel/smell/taste all kinds of things that most people are better off not being aware of.

While Cruz operates with little regard for his own sanity or the well-being of other people, he still has enough morals to not sacrifice babies/kids.

Happy Holidays, Sammy!!! I know this isn't much, but I hope you like this guy! Please feel free to write about him whenever you want! (No pressure of course, but still!)

(Also hey @inkbedou, I know I'm super late to tag you in this, but I know you like Lixian as much as Sammy does, and you've enjoyed the stuff I make before, so. . .yeah! Just thought you might be interested to see a new fanego! Again, sorry for how late I am to mention this to you 😅)

[realisticintentions]

AO3 (or past works) Fic Tag Game:

Rules: I'm not sure. But, then again, I've never been one for rules anyway.

Tagged by: @nonamemanga you mischievous little thing you...

1. How many works do you have/had on AO3/FFN?

1 on AO3 and probably like... 5 or 6 on FFN, I think.

2. Whats your AO3 word count?

1,543

3. What fandoms do/have you write/written for?

Presently: Wednesday (2022)

Previously: The Breakfast Club, Harry Potter, Ravenswood (2013 - 2014), and some D*sney projects (before I got older and it felt weird for me, personally, to keep writing).

In the coming future? I have a few in mind. Might revisit The Breakfast Club, to be honest. I tend to gravitate towards small fandoms half the time.

4. What are your Top 5 Fics by Kudos?

There's only one, standing at 133 Kudos currently: nix

5. Do you repond to comments?

Yes. Comments have always made my work feel validated, and they just make me excited to continue writing. I love responding and having discussions about my work and answering questions and teasing. As @nonamemanga is well aware.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have yet to write an angsty ending. It is something I have yet to explore within my work. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending; which is probably the most optimistic thing about me. Usually, most of my endings toe the line between a happy one and an ambiguous or open ending.

7. Whats the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics would have the intention of a happy ending, I would say.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Why, yes I have. The little fandom mentioned above? Ravenswood? This was a series connected to Pretty Little Liars that came out when I was 13. Pretty Little Liars was never a show I could really get into, but when Ravenswood came along, I was invested. And oh boy, did I get some comments when I decided to write about my two favorite characters from the show. I was having petty little screaming matches in my ffn inbox with other 12 to 14-year-olds before I finally decided to start deleting them.

9. Do you write smut?

No, and I don't think I ever will, personally. I've enjoyed reading the ones I have, but I don't think I could bring it in to any story I write without it seeming random and unnecessary. Kudos to those who are able to write it though.

10. Do you write cross-overs?

I have in the past, but I don't see myself writing any anytime soon. It can get convoluted.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I wouldn't mind working with someone in the future if I think people would be interested.

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No. As much as I would like to, my schedule does not offer much writing time. I feel like I would be getting someone's hopes up if I don't end up pulling my weight. Love discussions though.

13. What is a WIP you would like to finish but doubt you ever will?

HA! Here's the thing... I have yet to finish a WIP. Granted, the last time I was actively involved with a fandom and writing for it was when I was... 15? 16? So... Yeah, none of them were ever finished. They're still floating around on ffn, and because I know how to look for them, every now and then I'll re-read them. The thing is, my writing style and outlook of life, and my experiences have changed so much over the years that I can't really see myself finishing them.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

In terms of getting me to write for them, I will give you 3:

Weyler/Wyler. The one that got me back into writing after almost 10 years. They are just so dear to my heart, and the fact that I've made a few wonderful friends within this year alone because of them is just... Great. It's great.

Because I care deeply for my 13-year-old self's feelings, I will defend the ship that got me hate comments for writing about them. Which was the pairing of Caleb Rivers/Miranda Collins. It was 2013 and their storyline was intriguing, okay? I was unaware that the show was even related to PLL, but the spiteful comments I had received from that fandom just made me love shipping them more so... Ha!

I do have a special place in my heart for Allison/Bender though. My 80s detention babies.

15. What are you writing strengths?

Grammar has always been a thing I try to do my best on. I also think I'm able to come up with storylines that would be interesting for the audience to read. It's just a matter of getting them down on paper.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Welcome to my TedTalk.

Getting them down on paper. I am also my worst critic, especially when I re-read my work. I nit-pick over the details, whether there's too much or not enough. What to leave to the imagination and what do I want to pointedly get across? Writing is a hell of a process, and as I have mentioned a handleful of times, sometimes my brain is just like... Nah. There are times where I question if I just can't find the write phrasing to get my ideas out onto paper or if I just... Don't want to.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I am hesitantly dipping a toe into this. I'm just trying to figure out where to have my translations, while also making sure my translations are correct. One of the many issues with only knowing English.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

I don't remember. I think it was Harry Potter? I wrote a lot of Marauders stuff, I know that much.

19. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

nix. Yeah, it's the only one I have to my name, but it's the first to kick off one of my many WIPs and I think it's a solid start.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

None of them. I have no use for going back to the past when I have things that are more important to me as of right now. That, and those documents are long gone from my files. Besides, it's a sign of growth, y'know?

So yeah, I hope to continue writing. Not really going to add any ship tags or anything bc this one is a bit more personal to me.

Tagging: @therulerofallpotatos @writerrose1998 @lovepoison9 and anyone else. I didn't want to tag too many people just in case they've already done it.

[squaletta]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐈. 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓

→ This is an independent roleplay blog for a female version of Squalo Superbi from the Katekyo Hitman Reborn series by Akira Amano.

→ My interpretation may be different from what you expect. Since I haven't watched anime for a long time or very occasionally, my portrayal is not very anime-ish. It is more influenced by TV series or reading books from the mafia environment. I just really like Squalo as a character, and I found it interesting to develop her further based on him differently.

→ Although her origin is in anime, I would not wish to label her as just an anime character.

𝐈𝐈. 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐋

→ My portrayal is the female version, meaning Squaletta was born like a girl.

→ It's a heavily headcanon-based portrayal.

→ My attempt is to add another dimension to the portrayal of this muse. In terms of portraying this muse, I try to give her a psychological component and a realistic interpretation of her life within the mafia. That's why my interpretation is fandomless and fully adapted into the world of other TV fandoms or anime fandoms. → As stated above, this portrayal is headcanon-based, so please do not repost, paraphrase or use my headcanons as your own. I will not tolerate that.

→ This is my interpretation of the character. If you disagree with how I write, you are under no obligation to interact with me. If you harass me about how I interpret this character, you will be blocked.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄

→ This blog is mutual only.

→ If I follow you, it means I want to interact with you. Feel free to send me prompts and memes to my inbox or DM me to plot something. I'm always open to plot, and if you ever have an idea for a roleplay, message me, and we could discuss it. You can message me privately anytime. I'll get to you as soon as possible. No need to be shy. My private messages are always open. Don't be afraid to start a conversation with me. I don't bite, I swear.

→ Prompts and memes are the best icebreakers and easiest way to start interactions, regardless of whether our muses know each other. Go for it!

→ A bunch of memes from one roleplayer is totally okay!

→ You are always welcome to turn a meme into a thread! No need to ask.

→ Random spontaneous starters are welcome as well.

→ Please let me know if you’re following me from a sideblog so I know we are mutuals.

→ If we’re not mutuals, you may like posts and send asks.

𝐈𝐕. 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒 & 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐒

→ I use regular text size and occasional italics for emphasis. I love to add a GIF or icon to a thread. If someone has typical formatting, I tend to be open to adapting to it for thread harmony. Roleplay partners don't need to match my length or formatting.

𝐕. 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄

→ I write in a third-person point of view. I can be detailed and descriptive to create a long storyline, but I can also write short banter. Banters are fun to do next to long storylines. Sometimes a little banter turns into a bigger roleplay. For long storylines, I prefer plotting before writing.

𝐕𝐈. 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄

→ English isn't my native language, and currently, I am learning it by myself, so I am sorry for any mistakes. I'm trying to improve it as much as possible, but I make grammatical and spelling mistakes. So please, do not bash on my English. However, you are welcome to correct me nicely and politely so I can improve.

→ I want to tell you or rather ask you not to be afraid to write to me if I don't understand something in our thread. I am fully aware of English is my second language, not my native language, so there can be a certain language barrier. So don't hesitate to come to me and tell me if I misunderstood or wrote something wrong. For many of you, English is the first language, and the higher demands and expectations are placed on me. I am very happy to contact you when I don't understand either, but it happens that I feel that I understand, but the reality is obviously different. I am not aware of some mistakes, and I do not make them on purpose. I don't want you to think that I don't put effort into our thread.

→ Writing in my native language – Slovak language – is highly desirable.

→ Writing with Czech roleplayers is very welcome as well.

𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐘

→ If we start writing, I only ask you to be patient with replies because I'm an adult with a real job and hectic life or sometimes don't feel like replying. Just as I am patient for replies from my writing partner. I may not respond for a couple of days or weeks. You can remind me if I haven’t replied for a long time (let’s say 7 days) unless I have stated a reason for my absence. But sometimes my muse or I just am not feeling in the mood.

→ I don’t always have a muse for every thread I do, and I often only reply to one or two threads at a time. If this happens, I promise I’m not ignoring you. Don’t trip. I’ll get around to yours eventually.

→ If I disappear and do come back months later, I am either super willing to continue old storylines like no time has passed, or I will drop things and come to you asking for fresh new things.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 & 𝐀𝐔𝐬

→ I am crossover-friendly, even if I don’t know the fandom. Other fandoms, crossovers, and alternative universes are more than welcome! I'm excited to put my muse in other universes.

𝐈𝐗. 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

→ I am OC friendly, but I will hold OCs to the same standards as canon muses. I will write only with well-developed, well-written and that make sense in the context of my muse.

𝐗. 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒

→ I am very duplicates friendly, because I personally think that even ten portrayals of one character will be different and unique, because each mun behind a character is different and will bring their own ideas to it. And that's exactly what's fascinating.

𝐗𝐈. 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐏 𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄

→ Be respectful. I want to have a safe and pleasant environment here.

→ No god-moding.

→ No metagaming.

→ Powerplay will be discussed while plotting some fight.

→ If you begin to feel uncomfortable during our roleplay, please tell me. I want this to be a fun and pleasant experience for everyone. I am more than happy to discuss things and make adjustments for my partner’s comfort if possible and in accordance with my muse.

𝐗𝐈𝐈. 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆

→ This account is multiship and multiverse. It means that every romantic relationship will go into a different world.

→ Shipping will only happen if my muse feels romantically interested, if we build up a close emotional connection between muses and if our muses have brilliant chemistry after long-term interaction. I prefer slow-burn romance.

→ If my muse ship with someone, I will continue doing romantic roleplays with other muses because, as I said, this is a multiship roleplay account.

→ It's fine if you're a single ship, but don't expect the same from me. I do not tolerate jealousy or drama.

→ Don't push me into a ship.

→ Be aware that my muse can sometimes be flirty, but that doesn't mean she wants to ship, it's just part of her personality.

→ If you feel there is chemistry between our muses or a good story for our muses as a ship, feel free to DM me and we can talk about it.

𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓

→ Smut will only happen if my muse feels romantically interested if there is already a close emotional connection to the other muse and our muses have brilliant chemistry.

→ As for the explicitness of sexual scenes, I put more emphasis on the playful form of interaction, teasing and foreplay, flirting and body language. I don't mind the description of the sex scene, but I prefer sex was "tasteful" and not too explicit. I personally dislike a sex scene that feels like an anatomy lesson and sounds too clinical. I prefer to linger on the emotions involved rather than the body parts. These scenes, I believe, are supposed to show the emotion and intimacy between the muses, which means more sensual terms and less pornographic actions. For me, a bit explicit works better with fast and rough, and tasteful more with soft and slow.

→ Adding me just for pure smut is a waste of your time because it's not my cup of tea.

→ Sexual threads and asks will be tagged. I use "Keep Reading" feature under a clear NSFW banner for my smut threads out of consideration for others.

𝐗𝐈𝐕. 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓/𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

→ Dark and triggering themes will be present. However, it is earned and story-based when occurring. My muse is a assassin and swordswoman, so there can be violence, blood, alcohol or offensive language, and some adult situations involved with this account naturally because she is associating with the underworld.

→ I will do my best to tag triggers.

→ My own triggers are rape and sexual abuse in general, pedophilia, Mpreg.

𝐗𝐕. 𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

→ I will not interact with roleplayers under 18.

𝐗𝐕𝐈. 𝐎𝐎𝐂 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐀

→ This account is drama free. I have no tolerance for real-life drama or out-of-character drama. If you don’t like the content I post or how I portray my muse, you are free to unfollow me. I'm here to have fun and write my muse.

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐌𝐔𝐍

→ This blog is written by Lexy.

→ The mun is 30+.

→ She/her pronouns are preferred.

→ My time zone is Central European Zone (GMT + 1).

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐒 → 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭: @manoncomms → 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨: @manoncomms → 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬: @manoncomms → 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫: @manoncomms → 𝐈𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬: @manoncomms → 𝐓𝐡𝐞���𝐞: → 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝:

[theyluvlyss]

/ᐠ-˕-マ~ intro !

𝐡𝐚𝐢...

...and officially welcome to my blog/account ! I like to entertain the thought that I am a girl of many interests, talents, and, most definitely, thoughts. so, this is the place where I get to release and showcase them !

it would be an absolute honor for me to be able to, not only do something I enjoy, but allow any others who'd like to indulge to enjoy as well :). but, be aware, my main skill here is my writing, so that's something you'll see most often.

you (reading this lol) are welcome to explore, and should you have any questions at all, don't be shy in asking. I'm a very open book, so this is a non-judgemental, friendly, anyone welcome and encouraged, safe space :).

to learn more on the topic of myself, you can always check out the about me page. to explore what fandoms I'm in and what I love to run my mouth talk about, then you should go to the heart. if you have any questions by the end, you can always check out the faq's page. Continue reading further down to see how my account operates, and what you can do to make this the best experience for yourself ♡.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

/ᐠ-˕-マ~ Please respect all boundaries written below or you will be ignored/blocked. Thank you !

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 -

《 ♡ 》 I will write any and everything for whoever is requested, just as long as it's someone from any of my master/fandom lists. don't be afraid to get creative !

《 ♡ 》 be specific/detailed with your requests, it's a hugely appreciated help🙏🏽. and don't forget to mention whether you want it to be a full imagine, a list of headcannons, a oneshot, etcetc.

《 ♡ 》 you can both request in my inbox or dm (direct message) me, both are fine, and I encourage you not to worry about the length or "absurdity" of your request, for a truly good writer will work with whatever has been given (in my humble opinion). "A writer typically writes what they know." - don't ask, I forgot who roughly said this.

《 ♡ 》 please include in your request if you'd like to be added to any taglists ! every single thing I write for will have/has one, and if you'd like me to add your @, just let me know, and I'll be happy to do so. you will be tagged anytime I upload anything related to the taglist you requested :).

《 ♡ 》 as for requesting anything else (such as edits, collages, profile pictures, etc.), just make sure you let me know what/which characters, a certain/specific mood you might want, details and such like that.

──────────────

𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 -

《 ♡ 》 as stated before, I will write whatever I'm asked, but please keep in mind that I am only one person with a life outside of Tumblr. some things may take longer than others, but just know I put full effort and passion into every single one of my works that I do, you have my word. also, real quick; no, this isn't my writing style (the whole "lowercase, small words" thing I do is just for aesthetic purposes, my writing style is different).

《 ♡ 》 I do works for "character(s) x reader", "character(s) x OC" (which, again, please be very specific if you're requesting I do an OC of yours), and "character(s) + reader or OC", the "+" being an indicator of platonic/sibling type relationship rather than romantic. also, don't be shy to spice reader up, too ! I love doing dynamic work :D ! ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤExample: bimbo!extroverted!reader x character!

《 ♡ 》 I do write smut (mainly just for the practice tbh), but please be warned and advised that all characters will be aged up (if not already), no matter the character/fandom, and that I probably won't do anything t o o heavy.

《 ♡ 》 I do NOT ship/write romantic relations with any characters who are blood related, nor will I write for any characters with a significant/concerning age gap between them. do with this info what you will one way or another🤷🏽‍♀️.

《 ♡ 》 I do NOT do song requests. It's fine if you want a musically inclined reader or something, I don't mind. but do not give me a certain/specific song to base a work/request off of. I won't be able to do it, especially should you choose a song I don't like. sorry in advance for this😭.

──────────────

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 -

《 ♡ 》 if you don't like my writing, don't read it.

《 ♡ 》 if you don't like the content I post, block me.

《 ♡ 》 please do not leave any negativity/hate speech on my blog. not only will you then be giving me free reason to cuss you out (teehee) but then I'll get petty and ✨️block✨️ you before you can respond /ᐠ>⩊<マ ! no, but seriously, I don't tolerate any unnecessary/unwarranted hate here, so just run along if that's what you're here to do.

《 ♡ 》 if you have any other questions, please refer to the faq's page. if your question isn't on that page, feel free to put it in my inbox or dm me :).

──────────────

𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 -

I am open to...

《 ♡ 》 constructive criticism/suggestions. I love receiving help on how to improve my work, or just on some cool tips 'cuz tumblr likes to hide all of the cool stuff from me (like changing the font color to something other than the main seven offered /ᐠ-˕-マ...). just be nice/chill about it, please.

《 ♡ 》 meeting new people. I am always down to make new friends, so if that's what you want, I'm happy to indulge ! My dm's are always open for friendship for ages sixteen (16) and up :).

《 ♡ 》 venting. having a tough day? (don't worry, it's been a tough year for me💀). need someone to vent to who won't judge, will listen, and try their best to help/be there for you? you've come to the right girl. again, dm's are always open, so feel free to drop some tea/drama into the chat as if we've known each other forever, and I'll see what I can do to help :)♡. remember, you always have one person in this world who cares about you, and if you don't, it means I died lol.

《 ♡ 》 collabing/shoutouts. are you a writer, too? or have an edit you wanna show off, but don't know where to post it? I gotchu', bestie. send it over to me, and if it happens to align with one of my fandoms, I'll happily repost, show off, whatever you need me to do with hella credits to you ! I love to uplift my community, so I will take any chance I can to do just that :).

《 ♡ 》 commissions. on the topic of support, you guys are always free to show some extra love (only if you want, absolutely no pressure whatsoever) to ask for something extra specific under the notion that I receive compensation. prices and deadlines are negotiable, for now, so don't be afraid to ask and see what we can do ♡.

──────────────

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 -

I am not open to...

《 ♡ 》 negativity/hate speech. again, I enforce that you do not leave hate. If you don't like anything I post, block me and/or continue to scroll on and find a blog that does interest you. I post for myself and for anyone who appreciates what I do, nothing more, nothing less. this also includes any unwanted religious mantra.

《 ♡ 》 badgering. if you've requested/asked something, please be patient with me. I definitely saw it (unless stated otherwise) and I'm doing my best to be efficient, but again, life happens. although, checking in is much appreciated and I don't have a request limit. I just mean badgering in the sense that I don't need you cussing me out because I didn't throw up words and/or shit out an edit the second you typed up your request💀😭.

《 ♡ 》 pro-shippers/toxic fanbases. do not bring that shit over here, keep y'all asses away from my peaceful, chaotic good self, and this blog. that's all I have to say. this is your only warning.

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : [active] [hiatus] [offline]

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 : [open] [closed]

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡...

...that's all for the introduction ! thanks for reading, and I hope your pillow is cold on both sides, you get your favorite food in the next ten minutes, and that your allergy to cats is miraculously cured.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ/ᐠ^˕^マ~ 𝐛𝐚𝐢 !

[khaleesiofalicante]

hi Dani !

hope you're having a good day!

I need to rant (you can just delete this if you want that's totally fine)

I did something bad 😬 RATATATATA

basically I confronted someone who has been giving me a lot of trouble for a long long time like it's not all her fault it's my fault too but like I didn't know that something I was doing had that effect on her? Wtvr it is it happened a loooong time ago and we've talked about it a lot after it and anytime I confront her she keeps bringing that one thing up, she did things too but she never apologized for them still didn't last night but somehow I still feel bad about the confrontation?

Basically she always felt excluded because of me but I never intended that I was just being myself but she always compared herself to me and then felt bad about herself it lowered her self esteem by a lot and she blames me for it even though I never compared us or tried to make her feel inferior, when I saw that my accomplishments or happiness was bringing pain to someone I cared about I tried diminish myself, I started brushing off everything good that happened to me and just feeling guilty for being myself and being happy when I'd try to be honest and tell her that I have a life and problems of my own she would just start comparing it to her own problems and be like "but you have it better than me so you're fine" so I started not sharing anything cuz talking about my problems with her just made me feel like a burden when I brought this up last night her response was "I never asked you to not rant to people you did that to yourself" I'm just tired at this point, tired of apologizing, tired at being at the receiving end of her anger cuz she does and has in the past taken out her anger on me and she fully knows this

I always try to be nice because idk why wouldn't you be nice but she's making me so angry and I hate being angry so it's like fucking me up that combined with the school stress but that's a constant so 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for listening if you're reading this

Sending a lotta love your way

Hellooooo.

Sometimes writing things down (or saying them out loud) helps us understand the thing better. Ranting is a good thing, in that sense, and I'm glad you shared this with me.

I know you didn't necessarily ask for advice or support. But just a couple of quick things:

Trauma or pain or stress or grief - all of this, any of this, is not competitive. It's not about who has it worse. Someone, somewhere, always has it worse than us. But that doesn't erase our pain. Someone else's pain shouldn't make us feel better (even to soothe our own). If your friend expects you to disregard your pain (or underplay it) because she thinks she has it worse, she is invalidating your feelings. No one is allowed to do that. Especially someone who cares about you.

It's important to be aware of the people around you and the energy they consume. When we feel tired (physically and emotionally) around certain people, that's not a good thing. It's because talking to those and maintaining our relationship with them consumes more energy (and requires more effort) than it should. And most often, these people don't appreciate the effort you make. Be aware of them. Be mindful of them. Know your worth. Prioritize your energy and share it with people who value it and cherish you.

People who refuse to apologize are assholes.

Take it easy with the school stuff. That shit should not be as stressful as they make it be. Sending love x

[peaky-shelby]

OKAY HI

I still have plenty more commenting to do but just gonna put it out here cause I just need to say it lmao. I adore Taylor so so much. She feels like a very well rounded character with her flaws, strong points, insecurities etc. And its evident as well how both her and Kylian are so similar which is also why they butt heads sooo much. Both have an ego that’s backed up by their skills and both, altho aware of each other’s skills, just cannot full on 100% admit that (and they might not anytime soon even tho Kylian is slowly warming up to her).

But like ugh the circumstances that surround them is the real tragedy of their dynamic. The media, Taylor’s position at psg and being his literal boss, the whole JW blog thing, her own insecurities/fears with football and lord knows how much harsher the media is with women than men esp since Kylian is the Football Prince. There’s just so much at stake for her than him and that just means taylor might not ever be a hundred percent real with him. they can have all the moments they want behind closed doors but unfortunately a very real world is waiting outside for them that will be absolutely unforgiving (mostly for her).

Taylor already had to give up football due to something out of her control once before and sucks to see that this ‘relationship’ with kyks could cause her the same pain and I just don’t know how she will ever recover from that. It could cause a loooot of blaming Kylian (even tho he’s not really at fault) which in turn leads to him being a symbol of everything she lost (and everything she could achieve). Someone with a temperament like Taylor’s, that would be a very hard pill to swallow fam.

AND regarding that recent poll, (I know u didn’t ask for opinions!!) but fr I just do not see them having a happy ending. AT LEAST NOT RIGHT NOW. Maybe some years down the road where they don’t have such a huge impact on each other’s career and don’t have such heavy ties with each other. then they can also discover if they like each other because of who they are OR was it just a very intoxicating dynamic that rived up each other’s motors (lmao sorry I didn’t know how else to word it).

ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT I HOPE SOME OF IT MADE SENSE. Reading New Romantics makes me feel like im back in literature class, analyzing every single word and I love it <3. Cannot wait for the next update and uhh yeah ily. Tag me pls <3

Me everytime someone takes the time to write a long review and theory:

EXCUSE ME MATE,,, YOUVE MADE MY HEART GOO BOOM BOOM AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM😭

I'm in awe of the way you understand the characters and pick on the details. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right and like i have to up my game at the same time. The things you noted are true, it's not about confirming or denying that the situation is very fragile, especially for Taylor.

Please keep ranting away because honestly this sort of messages melt my heart and get my brain going and also make me wanna do better for every single one of you that has wasted even a minute on my work.

Now about the ending obviously I'm not saying anything but anyone is allowed to send opinions and i love seeing them. If anything they are incredibly helpful.

Ones again, i appreciate you with all my heart. Your work is one of the first i read on this fandom so this means a thousand times more to me. Thank you for everything!!

Love you xx

[stackthedeck]

Hiiiiiiiiii i kinda had a question #lol. The fact that you write is awesome and makes me wanna write too, but every time i try i feel like i have such a large amount of self doubt that comes with it. Every single scene i finish is accompanied by an "oh god this sucks" in my head. Im also having a lot of trouble getting character voices down?? Like wow. Writing's harder than i thought it would be🫡 anyways just wanted to see if you had like tips or anything for dealing with that😨😨😨

Okay so my most practical advice is for how to get character voice. What I'll do as a writing exercise is I'll pick an episode of a show or like a scene from a movie or maybe a podcast episode, pick a medium that has a focus on dialogue. Transcribe the dialogue as you watch or listen (pause or turn on subtitles as needed) and pause the thing between chunks of dialogue and add the action tags, describe what the characters are feeling, give them internal monologue, describe the setting. I know this sounds tedious and like it is and it might not work for you and you definitely can't post it. But it makes me super aware of characters' speech patterns, the way they pause between words, what nicknames or phrases they use often, etc. It's also something that I just pick up on naturally, like I'll talk like my friends not as like an impression of their voice but how they talk and people say it's spooky.

The short cut to nailing how a character talks is to steal dialogue directly from the source, have them use nicknames from canon, and like be aware of their general tone. Like in most situations, Deadpool leans into a more jokey way of speak while Spider-Man is sarcastic with dry jokes and Daredevil is serious and gruff. These will change with each situation you know characters have moods and stuff. But if you're familiar with the source material you're probably really close to a character's voice that you think

with original stories, if I want to create a strong voice for characters and narration, I'll do a writing warm up by going outside or like a library and describe what I experience. I'm not allowed to start writing my actual thing until I include all five senses in those descriptions. I also tend to narrate how I think which doesn't work for everyone but I love metaphors and alliteration so it works. With original characters, they're usually based on someone I know so I'll just memorize their exact words or watch videos that they send me. It's kinda creepy tbh. But rule of thumb is to always read your stuff out loud, heck I usually say the dialogue before I write it, and it gives it a more human sound.

Okay practical advice done now I gotta tell you the thing you won't like. The best way to get over the "this sucks" mentality is to just write a lot. Anytime I'm not so sure about my own writing, I got back to the Hamilton fanfic I wrote in middle school that I proudly put on the internet and sent to my friends and I think "okay it could be so much worse" self-doubt will always be a part of the process you will always be your worst critic. But also you've also gotta be your biggest fan, it helps to find someone else to hype you up, but I dare you to read what you've written a say at least one nice thing about it. Any time you're in the editing stage, say one nice thing about what you've written before you say something that's not working. When you finish editing, say one thing that you're happy you added. You gotta write a lot but you've gotta be good to yourself

[ellieohno]

hello, ellieohno! at the end of your fics you tell us to come yell at you here on tumblr, but i don't really want to yell at you. i just want to ask, do you think you'll continue writing Prophecy Boy? because i finally read the chapters yesterday and i'm already hooked!! such an interesting au and the way you write makes it even better.

so, no pressure of course, i was just wondering what you're planning to do with this fic?

take care 😊

hi friend!!

I absolutely have plans to finish Prophecy Boy! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it, the au is definitely one of my favs (and so incredibly self-indulgent because I was a major buffy fan growing up). thank you so much for saying so!!

I can tell you that johnny is definitely aware that something hinky is going on (but mostly because he can’t stop watching larusso), daniel is about to finally see some vampires in the valley, and someone you’ve probably thought about may or may not be connected to the recent murders.

thanks for asking!! come chat with me anytime!

[lostintime-liketearsinrain]

Just when things feel like they are getting back on track, having sorted a new car out, focused my headspace and focusing on some goals for 2024. All that to come burning down when I get a phone call tonight from my mum to let me know my grandad is acusing me (and my mum) of stealing from him…..fuck my life….

When my grandad fell ill and went into hospital in November 2022, we (my mum, grandad and me) agreed to take his banking off his IPad for security reasons being on an openward in hospital etc. I set it up on my iPad and was happy to show him or do anything he needed when visiting. Once he got discharged we continued to keep it off as he was in a care home and his IPad would be left unattended a lot. This has gone on and on until recently (against my mums, mine and the current carehome managers wishes for security reasons) we’ve put it back on his IPad.

Now keeping in mind, all this time I've shown him his banking regularly or anytime he's asked. I've got nothing to hide. Over the last 16 months, as he can't walk he's asked myself and my mum to buy him things, be it decorations for his room, food stuff, clothing etc. You get the drift. With that he's told me to use his card to pay for those things. Fair enough and sometimes I have and other times I haven't. Also at times he's offered to help me out financially, offering to pay for car repairs, my BT Sport so he could watch his boyhood club play in the Champions League, my resin printer and most recently 1 week costs for my hire car. Everytime he's offered I've protested as I don't want money off him, I do what I do because I care for him and not financial gain. It gets to the point where if I say no he says he’ll give his card and pin to a career and get them to get cash out to give to me. Which is ridiculous to trust someone to do that but that's another rant.

Anyway, apparently all those times and discussions have been wiped from his memory as today when my mum visited he's ranted and raved as to why I've taken X amount here there and so on. For instance the resin printer, I protested for weeks that I'll buy it myself I just need to save, to the point where me, my mum and step dad were visiting and while showing his banking app to him, he transferred the money for it to my account. According to him today tho that never happened, he never agreed to it and remembers no conversation of the sort. Keeping in mind my mum and stepdad where there at the time and we all remember the conversation. That's just one of many transactions he's quoted to my mum today, who is and has always been aware of if or when I've transferred money from his account.

I always thought this moment would come someday and therefore I was careful, making sure any transfer I did I put what it was for as the payment reference. I know I've stole nothing, any amounts taken we discussed and confirmed but as he's getting older his memory is failing him. He thinks he's still mentally sharp but when you don't remember a conversation that 3 other people do, well you're not as sharp as you think.

I called my grandad on the way home and raised what my mum told me and he said I was wrong and he hasn't accused me but he has a habit of this, saying one thing to me and another to my mum. I raised my voice, got angry, upset and even swore because it's upsetting. After everything we’ve done over the last 16 months and this is how he acts towards us. It's sad really.

I don't expect anyone to read all this but I had to put it somewhere. I'm at a loss for words and what to do now but all I know is my grandad isn't the same grandad I loved before and it breaks my heart.

[devojkazadisko]

On picky eating

I have thought of multiple ways to start this text, but all of them sounded equaly cliché. Guess I can't help it. I've always been at creative writing, so I'm just going to jump into it, I'm writings this to atemp to gather a cohesive narrative about my picky eating. All this thoughts spring up to me when I saw post from a girl saying a date in a nice restaurant is a must. My immediate reaction to that was: "God, no!", that sounded like hell to me. Then I started to think how having a formal dinner would surely be a dreaded occurrence in my life. I seriously can not imagine anyone enjoying it, but evidently people do, so what makes me feel so diffrently?

Through this journey of self examination. The first thought that came to my mind, is that that I'd be so self conscious about people who I'm having dinner with possibly judging me beacuse I'm struggling with the menu trying to find something I like in it. Every time on my way to food place I would be thinking of they have pizza, plain chicken meet baked potatoes or any other food I am comfortable with. What if their recipes are a bit diffrent and have strong spices? Sometmise I wish it wac socially acceptable to just order nothing. I'd pick that option every time, it's hassle free. So before I even arrive I've had anxiety building up. My anxiety stays at same if I am eating with acquaintances. They don't know my eating habits, but when it's people know me, I'm being met with a question: "why don't you eat something better?". That just makes me feel watched.

I come from a culture when eating red meat, mostly pork, is considered one of the best meals and the primary reason to go to a restaurant. We all can have pizza at home anytime, but pork and other meats it's are the celebration, special occasion highly regarded meals. A lot people read my chosings as sign of dissrispect of the ocassion. I am aware that this sounds really ungrefull, but keep in mind that I don't express these feelings. I keep them inside me. I'm very happy for the reason this going out is for.

This brings me to the second part of my story. Why I'm so anxious about food. My parents claim that I've been.... God, I feel valnurable trying to justify and explain my picky eating. I do only have couple of meals a couple of meals I eat and one that can be remixed into like 10 others (if you switch out grinded meat for salami, lasagna, bolonese, pizza and sandwiches become basicly the same thing). I do understand that I am this is a bad diet and that I'm not getting enough nutrients. I do understand the concern, but to my brain bigger concern is me not linking the food and unconciusly having a gag reflex, especially infront of someone. In the best scenario I try something that I end up liking I added it to my list of comfortable foods. Unfortunately, If some times passes of me not eating that good, the anxiety creeps back in and I'm back at the begingin. This is currently happening to me with peanut butter. Each time it takes me less to try again, it really is a lot mental effort to brake those barriers and I am actively working on them. The thing is that is a slow procces. I want to praise myself for succeeding in being able to eat cake on birthdays. Back to my original sentence.

Ever since I can rember, I've been like this. Even before that, by my parents recollection I was a choosy baby. I don't envy my parents at all, I have a weak appetite and stress only makes it worse, I don't doubt that I just refused to eat. I don't know how much of our personality is based on upbringing and how much is based on our nature. Whatever the reason is I worry a lot about displeasing people, especially my parents. I know they tried their best to give my variety of foods, but I would just refuse them, of course that created frustration for them and I could definitely feel them. In the end this would just create a very negative association of anxiety and sadness with food. As I grew the list of foods I ate shortened. My parents tried their the best. They tryed by standing their ground, they said that I could not leave the table until I ate. I always took 2 or 3 bites, before I'd feel the gag reflex. I could not do more then that, as the minutes would go by I could see my dad getting more upset. Eventually he'd raise his voice, that would just make my eyes start watering and my throat closing. Eventually that would lead to an argument, and by the end my throat would swell up that I couldn't eat anything.

Other way they would try to combat my pickines was by giving the same thing for dinner. I would just go bed without dinner. I was also trying to find a solution I would frequently put condiments or spreds on stuff I didn't like. I would put nuttela (nuttela ripoffs to be precise) on fritters, ketchup and mayo on choucroute garnies. That would only last for so long.

One day my father made some of those choucroute garnies. Recently before that I had really began struggling with them (the taste of meat became to overpowering for me). I told him that I didn't want to eat them. This upset him a lot, as from his perspective this was an okay food and he put a lot of effort into it. He asked me again, and I firmly responded: "No". By that age my self awareness allowed me to think that my dad should understand how hard this is for me, but I wasn't self aware enough to realize how hurtful my words could be. We started having an argument, strong words were exchanged and dad began yelling, that broke me. I was going to eat that meal no mather what. I began eating eating, as seconds past, the words that were said we're settling in. Tears rolled down my face, my throat was closing and I gaged.

My father was in the room watching me. I immediately looked up to check if he saw me. He did. He started at me for a second, It felt like eternity. I've never seen his eyes look so cold. He hastly came up to me and away my plate with his hands visibly shaking and left the room with out a word.

Words cannot explain the pain and sadness I felt in my chest. My heart just sank. I imeditaly burst into tears trying my best not to be heard. The silence in the house after everything left me feeling even worse and I was too scared to go to him and apologize. I was scared of seeing that blank stare again.

Of course that didn't happend, my dad loves me to the moon back there is not a thing he woundn't do for me. With retrospect I know that to him that looked like rejection of all the love he had for me, as that is one of his ways that he shows love. To this day even when I'm 23, Hell I'm sure even when I'm 40 he'll be making me meals. After I apologized and we talked I think he finally understood me. I think that's the point at which I finally started get a bit more relaxed that gave a position zero in exploring foods. One day when I felt no pressure pressure I tried fritters with chesse and tomatoes, and I liked it. They are not my favorites but I'll gladly eat them when my dad makes them.

There are some many more little stories of my experience with picky eating, like when I repitedly tried to make my self eat rice beacuse I don't find the taste that bad, but keep stumbling beacuse of the texture. I wouldn't survive in Asia. Or when I was little and was made sandwiches for school and I'd trow them away or give them to a friend beacuse I couldn't eat them cold (salami doesn't taste the best cold). Of course not eating in school would create problems like almost passing out during PE and having low iron in blood. On the happier not It was always funny when my parents would try to pass of pork as chicken or something like that and I'd always clock them. I could also tell what else did dad cut with the knife he used on my tomatoes. And my favorite one is being able to tell what's for lunch when entering the house, it's also useful for guessing ingredients in unfamiliar meals.

Anyways, this is already a lot already. I spent 3 hours writing this. Writing like this helps me self acceptance of the way that my body works. I try my best with what I've got. This little text helped me understand myself. Good night Internet (and by that I mean the AI that's gonna read this when checking for inappropriate stuff) . Toodles.

Ps. No spell check it's 9 in the morming

[levi-supreme]

You make my heart melt every time with your replies 🥹 I'm so touched and thankful that I'm not even sure I can find the right things to say. I feel undeserving of your lovely words, but I'll cherish them forever! You always help me to find the motivation to keep going through the challenges of life. I'm also so happy over the fact you remember my time zone! 🥺❤️

Thank you so much for your sweet words and for asking about my health! I'm doing fine and I managed to retourn to my everyday life without many complications. Sometimes I still have to deal with the pain and the fear of a possibly second surgery occupied my thoughts for a while. But I'm pretty sure that won't happen anytime soon 😊

No need to thank me sweety! I'm so glad I was able to help you the same way you helped me! You're not the only one who will treasure this bond forever and I'm always here for you too!! I honestly believe there will never be a day when your blog won't be a safe place for your followers 💖

I should be the one to thank you for believing in me! You helped me to overcome so many doubts and insecurities. I'll always be proud of your blog and I'll never cease to be one of your supporters sunshine 💞

Omg you were scrolling through our old conversations?! That makes me feel so emotional!! So happy to hear you got a switch before Christmas and that you're having fun playing Animal crossing! Don't worry about being inexperienced, everyone goes through that at the beginning. But I assure you it'll be a beautiful experience and if you want to talk about it I'm always here. I love Animal Crossing too and I'm sure you'll do great things with your island! Your other citizens should be grateful lol

Oh yes! I'm aware of your Happy Birthday Levi event. Actually I wanted to talk about it my previously ask but I did't want to send you something too long! As someone who enjoyed the event the first year I have to say it was equally beautiful and wonderful in 2022! It's such a loving event and the effort you and the fellow Levi writers put in it it's admirable. I enjoyed every day of it and I'm really sorry to hear you were stressed and worried because of it. Whatever you choose I'll always support you! Don't worry right now, you have a lot of time to decide. Just remember you're not alone and that there were people who followed and loved your event but were too shy to show you their appreciation. I used to be a shy follower too and I was always scared and anxious when I interacted with other people here on Tumblr ❤️

I'm so glad to hear you're motivated and looking forward for your new semester (I don't know how you do it, I just want to smash my head with the books lol)! Also congrats on your GPA!! I'm so proud of you and yes, you're right! Levi would be too! I once said that you would be Levi's type and I still stand by it. You would be perfect for each other! He'd take such a good care of you while motivating you to do your best without letting you trascure your health. You'd show him the kindness and sweetness he deserves more then anyone else!

I'm really sorry for this long ask and thank you once again! 💫 ~[🧸]

Good morning my dearest 🧸!! Wow, I woke up to your ask again and it started my day perfectly!! I'll say the same words back to you too! Seeing your replies and asks in my inbox make me heart melt all the time as well! Likewise, you remember my time zone and I love seeing your asks in my inbox when I wake up 🥺

I'm glad to know you're doing okay, and you are not having any issues with your health!! Rehabilitation and recovery is a long journey, but I'm sure you're taking real good care of yourself and you're doing fantastic too!

Hehe, I'm glad to have crossed paths with you and share this special bond too, dearest 🧸!! I'm touched to know that my blog is your safe space too! I hope my blog and my work can continue to make you feel welcomed and loved as well (*^_^*)

Yes, I read our old conversations from time to time!! 🤗💖 haha, I'm still really new to the game lol but I already subscribed to a few acnh youtubers because they have such pretty islands and themes 🥺🥺 I'm still struggling to farm those 30 iron nuggets to start the shop lol!!!! And yes, acnh really is a beautiful and calming experience!! It's so relaxing and stress-free, unlike cities skylines HAHA where I'm just stressing about my traffic, public transport, which area of my city to work on, what new area of my city should I expand next........... 💀 of course I would LOVE to talk to you about acnh!! No one I know plays acnh so I'll definitely talk to you about it 🥺 I'm sure your island is equally beautiful too, and your citizens lead happy lives every day!!

Other than acnh, I also played Pokemon Let's Go Eevee too!!! I finally cleared the game and I'm now the Pokemon champion haha. I wanted to grind and clear the end-game content but I'm so lazy lol... but I love the Pokemon so much omg, especially Eevee because its my favourite!!

Awwww yay I'm so glad you read the works from the event, and I'm touched to know that you enjoyed it too <3 I'm so thankful to everyone who participated in it and playing a part to make this event so successful again! Hehe, I have an idea to do something different and special for Levi's birthday this year, but we shall see how again~

Haha don't worry, even I used to be a shy follower when I first joined this writing side of tumblr!!! I would interact with my favourite writers on anon too because I was so shy and excited to interact with them haha, so I totally understand your feelings!! Nonetheless, I'm happy that despite feeling scared and anxious, you interacted with me and look where we are now! :D

HAHA I'm looking forward to my upcoming semester because a) I got all the modules I want, b) my GPA improved so I'm motivated to work hard, and c) reasons a and b combined lol!!! And yes, Levi would be proud of me hehe. He'll probably say things like: "I told you. If you put in the effort, you'll bear the fruits of your labour" and other words of wisdom along these lines HAHAHAHA. I think wanting to make Levi proud of me is a really big motivation factor for me to do well too haha, so ultimately, this works both ways XD

Oh yes, I remember you saying that after you read my selfship fic! I'm still in awe too, that you're validating my Reivi ship haha 💖✨ thank you so much for those kind words too!! I do feel that Levi and I will have a good influence on each other hehe. He makes me become more grounded and focused, while I allow him to be more attuned to his emotions too hehe. I do like to think that after being together with me for so long, Levi isn't as closed off emotionally as before, and now he is more comfortable with showing his emotions ^^

Don't ever apologise for sending me a long ask! I love reading them very much <3 it's like I'm reading a heartfelt letter from a dear friend! So please don't stop sending me long asks, yeah? :D thank you for keeping me in your thoughts too, and I hope your day will be great!!