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#and as of right now i have no reason to believe it was serious at all
iris-black13 · 2 days
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In honour of Merlin trending for literally no reason today, I would like to share my theories that I came up with during my recent rewatch. (I'm only up to season 3 right now so there really aren't that many theories yet.)
1. Merlin and Arthur 100% fell in love with each other in season 1, but they aren't aware of it at all.
2. Merlin is so gay. I'm not sure if he knows it or not, but Merlin is not attracted to women. Every time he's seemed interested in a woman, it's because she's been a powerful sorceress or a magical creature. Speaking of Freya; his only real female love interest, what he loves about her is that he sees himself in her. He feels a sense of kinship towards her as someone who is trapped and hunted for something out of her control. I don't think he feels any actual romantic love for her. He loves her, sure. But I think he's confusing romantic love for something else. (But idk I could be wrong.)
3. I don't think the Morgana we got back after her disappearance is the same Morgana we had pre S2E12. I think she probably died and came back wrong. Because otherwise the personality difference is too drastic. Her relationship with Gwen for instance. It makes sense if she didn't forgive Merlin for what he did, but why is she so mean to Gwen?? Gwen was her best friend and maybe even her first love? Morgana was never classist before season 3, but afterwards she acts like Gwen is lesser than and it just doesn't make sense. Anyway that's my in-universe explanation for her terrible shift in character.
4. This is the most important one. Merlin doesn't realize he's in love with Arthur until some time shortly before the season 2 finale. Before the finale, Merlin is happy to cheer on the romance between Arthur and Gwen. Two of his best friends fell in love! Why wouldn't he be happy? Even if they think there's no future for their relationship, he's more than happy to help them get together because Merlin believes in loving who you want to love.
Now, I could go on about how falling in love with Gwen is basically Arthur's way of expressing his repressed feelings for Merlin since Gwen and Merlin are of the same social standing and since Gwen is a woman he can experience the love he could have had with Merlin if it was allowed, but I won't do that. This ain't about him. What's important is that Merlin, in the season 2 finale- knows he's in love with Arthur, and that Arthur can't love him back. After the finale, he's still happy to help his friends in their affections for each other, but his bright goofy smile is gone. It's replaced with this melancholy smile and a hesitant voice.
I'm so serious right now. If you don't believe me, just go rewatch seasons 2 and 3 and see the shift in his demeanor yourself. He actively avoids them when they're interacting in season 3. In- I think it was the changeling episode, at the end, Arthur and Merlin walk into a hallway at the bottom of the staircase. They both see Gwen on the staircase, and when Arthur starts up the stairs, Merlin immediately leaves. It's not a "I'll give them their space" moment. It's a "I can't be here right now" kind of moment. He doesn't even try to stick around to protect Arthur on their date in the episode where Morgana frames Gwen for witchcraft. (and don't even get me started on that episode of my god.) Normally, he would stick around in the shadows to make sure nothing goes wrong and they aren't attacked or anything. It's weird that he doesn't try to stick around!
And oh my God. There are so many moments where Colin Morgan's acting just makes my heart ache. In the crystal caves, Merlin trying to banter with an unconscious Arthur while trying desperately to heal him makes me want to cry. And any time he's encouraging Gwen to follow her heart and be with Arthur just makes me ache. In the "...you still have feelings for him." And the "you like him. He likes you. Isn't that all that really matters?" I just can't.
Honestly, I could go on, but this post is already wordy enough. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
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name-6775 · 2 days
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I started rereading the kotlc books some while ago and I have been writing down all the quotes that I have been able to find and that I have liked from each book, so now that the kotlc quote bracket is finished I wanted to share a part of my list:
Keeper of the lost cities:
“Okay,” she agreed. If he refused to be serious, so would she. “Fine. I’m an elf. Am I supposed to help Frodo destroy the ring and save Middle-earth? Or do I have to make toys in the North Pole?” - Sophie
“There’s no reason to worry” - Alden
“I have a feeling you can do pretty much anything you put your mind to. So stop doubting yourself and go prove me right” - Keefe
“I’d rather be punished for making the right decision than live with the guilt of making the wrong one for the rest of my life.” - Sophie
Keeper of the lost cities - Exile:
“Sparkles make everything better” - Biana
‘Those who wander are not lost’
‘Let the past be your guide’
“Follow the pretty bird across the sky” - Jolie / Prentice
“While I’m not the one who cast the first sparks, I am willing to help keep the flames alive” - Fintan
“Remember, if you fall apart, then all of this was a waste. Breaking Prentice led us to you—and my dad always believed you were the key to everything. It’s why he worked so hard to find you. So if you let the guilt break you, then everything he did was for nothing” - Alvar
“You’d be surprised at how powerful hope can be” - Terik
“I know I crack a lot of jokes, Sophie, but . . . that’s just because it’s easier, you know? It’s how I deal. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I do. A lot” - Keefe
“We could all use a little more weird in our lives” - Fitz
Keeper of the lost cities - Everblaze:
“There’s no reason to worry too much” - Alden
“I’ve realized now that our world doesn’t define us. We define our world” - Grady
“Right. Because our family doesn’t decide who we are. We decide who we are. Believe me, it drives my parents crazy. And sometimes that’s the only thought that gets me through the day” - Keefe
“The right road is rarely the easy road. And no war was ever fought without casualties” - Mr. Forkle
“There will always be people who disappoint us, and it’s up to us to decide when to forgive, and when to walk away” - Edaline
“Hindsight is a dangerous game to play” - Edaline
“And if whatever you’re chasing starts to catch up with you—run, don’t walk away” - Edaline
“It takes a special person to see darkness inside of someone and not condemn them” - Bronte
“Because of one simple fact: I knew it was right” - Alden
“It reminds us just how small we really are, and how big the rest of the world is by comparison. One person is not the source of anything—it’s millions of pieces all working together. And it shows us that there’s always hope—always light. No matter how much darkness we might be facing” - Edaline
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vex91 · 1 day
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Steal your heart
Chapter 16: Party
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3rd's POV
Yunjin sighed pushing the door open, a not so small space full of girls immediately clouded her vision. Her eyes scanned the room in order to find Team's Captain and a "unofficial" Captain. Yuna observed the older girl with an amused smirk already knowing what the girl wanted there "They're not here yet" She said causing Yunjin to turn around with a yelp "They're... not?" She asked confused. Normally Yujin and Haewon would be there first to prepare everything.
"They needed to talk with the principal about the upcoming match" Kazuha suddenly chimed in causing Yunjin to yelp again. Everyone wanted her to have a heart attack apparently. She turned to look at Kazuha but before she could say anything, the door opened and in walked Yujin and Haewon. They were discussing something until they saw Yunjin standing there.
"Yunjin-sunbaenim?" Haewon mumbled as they walked up to her "Did you need anything?" Yunjin cleared her throat nervously before speaking up "I wanted to join the soccer team" Her eyes nervously looked between the two captains, despite being older she was still nervous as the two were very passionate about the team. Yujin's face was hard to read in that moment while Haewon was obviously not that pleased with the idea "You know that we need serious players right? I've never heard about you being interested, hell I never saw you watch our matches even once" She said eyeing Yunjin suspiciously. Kazuha laughed at the positive her friend was in until she heard Yujin.
"Why not, let's see what you've got" Yujin smiled at the older girl before finding her some temporary clothes. Haewon only watched her Captain with a disbelief written all over her face "Are you serious?" Yujin only nodded her head. She knew what Yunjin was doing there, it was obvious to everyone who knew about her situation with Y/N and honestly who was she to stop her. Knowing Yunjin she wouldn't give up so as long as she's good, Yujin has nothing to lose.
The whole team intensely watched Yunjin doing everything their coach said trying to prove herself. Kazuha only scoffed at her friend's behavior not believing that she actually came to try getting on the team. She knew the girl for a long time now and she always watched Yunjin getting bored with stuff and people easily so it was the first time she actually saw her trying so hard for someone.
You never tried so hard for me...
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Yunjin's eyes were clouded as she looked around the blurry room. She was so happy about being accepted into the team she went out with her friends to a party organized by their school's graduate. She promised herself not to drink much but the party vibe and her friend's encouragement caused her to be in this uncomfortable position on a couch, not being able to stand up without stumbling to her death.
A hand on her shoulder made her look up slightly and an immediate smile appeared on her face when she saw you there. She was so happy she didn't cared to ask why you were smiling at her so happily and why were you so close to her. Your warmth was enough to make her mind all fuzy and before she knew it she was kissing you. You got on her lap, her hands immediately placed on your hips as she kissed you hungrily.
She had to be in heaven.
It was too good to be true.
But for some reason she felt like she fucked up.
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Summary: Yunjin and Y/N were known to not be the best duo. Everyone could see how much they couldn't get along no matter what. One day Yunjin finds out through their mutual friend Winter that Y/N is her online friend and crush which changes the way she looks at the girl. Now determined Yunjin decides to make the younger girl fall for her.
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Taglist (Closed): @jisooftme @dream-chasers-things @jeindall777 @eunhhh @sewiouslyz @awkwardtoafault @pandamiswifey @everydayiloveyves @impossiblesharkcashrebel @aloneinacity
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f4iry-bell · 17 hours
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Grayson x reader argument angst/comfort
dates and bags
this was supposed to be in my current series but I've decided to stop it and so it's here!! idk if it'll come under comfort tho because it's just vvv little confort but YEAH!!!!!
It has been exactly a month since things started becoming a bit serious with Grayson and her. A month of pure contentment. But it didn't last long, it was like someone was praying for them to seperated because Grayson started being distant. Everyday phone calls became text messages, text messages became one word reply or being left on read. Weekly dates or just them going out together became rare. He barely answered her calls, he'd text her ‘im bust’ after ignoring her calls. At first she believed that he was actually busy with work, after all he had his own life. But how long can one stay busy? Probably Grayson Hawthorne but this time Grayson Hawthorne has a girlfriend or whatever they are right now. A serious commitment.
It took her three phone calls and use of imperative sentences to convince him to meet her at a cafe they used to meet. Neither of them spoke much once Grayson arrived at the cafe late. 
“So, how are you doing?” She asked him with a bland tone. 
“Fine” He replied with an aloof tone.
“Are you sure?” She asked with her eyebrows raised. 
“Yes.” 
“Then why have you been acting like an asshole to me all week?” She snapped.
Grayson was taken aback by her snapping. But he kept his cool. “No need of vulgar language to resolve whatever silly reason you're mad at me for” 
“Silly reason?” She scoffed.
“I don't think I have done anything for you to be this mad” He said.
“You've been distancing yourself from me and ghosting me for a week!” She tried hard not to yell.
“I told you, I have been busy. Plus, I do answer your texts.” 
“No, you don't. You say ‘ok’, ‘i'll text you later’, ‘i’m busy’. You don't answer me.” She cleared it for him.
“I thought you'd understand that I'm a busy man, I don't have time for you all day”
“But you did when we met! If not all day, you had time for me for at least an hour. Now you can't even spare me a minute” She breaks down, the anger now turning into hurt.
Instead of giving her a reason, a real reason. Grayson tried to leave. “Look, I don't have time for this. I'll talk to you later,”he said.
“Screw this. Don't bother. If you even bother enough to think about me.” She stood up, grabbing her bag and taking out a bill to pay. “I'm out of this. I'm done” 
“What do you mean?” He asked as he watched her move out of their table.
“You know what I mean.” With that the one romantic relationship that worked out well for Grayson ended.
_
She tried not to think about Grayson and how he used to treat her, she tried not to care at all so she wouldn't be hurt. But she failed every time. It has been exactly four days since she called it off and blocked his number, not that she was expecting him to call or text. At 1 in the morning someone knocked on her apartment door. She walked out of bed and started to think whether or not to answer the door, it's 1 am, who could it be? 
Sighing she opened the door just 3 inches to see who it was while holding a broomstick behind her. She was surprised and angry to see who it was. 
“Grayson?”
He smiled. “Hello, love” She can smell the alcohol in his breath.
“What are you doing here?” She asked, and she noticed he was still holding a flask. How much did he drink?
“I missed you” He looked at her how he used to.
“Well keep missing me, cause I'm not talking to you. Go back to your place” She said and was about to slam the door but stopped when he gagged like was going to puke. 
“Sorry about that. Anyways, you look so beautiful,” he commented with a cheeky smile. Her anger only grew.
“Did you drive here?” She asked and he nodded. “Are you stupid? Driving while you're this drunk?” She asked, followed by an annoyed scoff.
 She shook her head and asked him to book a cab and go back to his place again, when he tried to get closer to her he almost lost his balance.
“You're so frustrating.” She said and grabbed his arm to help him inside her apartment, she helped him to sit on the couch and went to grab a glass of water for him. When she came back he was drinking from the flask again, she snatched it from his hand and handed him the glass. “Drink this”
“Thank you” He drank it. “Shouldn't you be mad at me?” He asked. 
“I am.”
“Then why are you offering me water?”
“So you can sober up and leave”
“Wrong. Because you're nice,” he said. “Too nice. Too pretty, too adoring, too passing, too considerate” He kept going.
“All that and yet—” Grayson cut her off mid sentence by talking.
“I told my brothers about you” He said. “And what happened”
“What did they say?” She tried not to think that Grayson told his brothers because he thought he messed up.
“They called me an idiot” He smiled.
“You are”
“I know. They also said you deserve an explanation. I guess that's why I'm here” 
“Go on, explain”
“Like I said, you're just too good. Too good for me, I don't deserve you but I decided to be selfish when I asked you out. But I started to panic because I was getting attached to you, I thought this would just be a fling but it was becoming so much bigger. It wasn't supposed to be like that for me, I can't stay selfish for a very long time. If you know my family history you'd hate me.” He explained.
“You think you don't deserve me? Grayson, I'm not special. And that is no excuse to distance yourself from me. Do you know how much you've hurt me? And I don't care about your family history, I liked you for you. You as an individual.”
“You liked me? You don't like me now? I understand. It was a false hope for thinking you'd still like me, I did act like an asshole to you” He let out a fake chuckle.
She thought for a moment before speaking. “I still like you, you know. You can't dislike someone just like that, especially someone like you.” She said.
Grayson blinked “You do?”
She nods.
“Does that mean you'd be willing to forgive me? My brothers said I should at least try and ask you for another chance” He asked.
She rolled her eyes. “First of all you didn't apologise yet.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For pushing you away because I hate myself and can't allow myself to have nice things” 
She sighs. “It's gonna take a lot more than a drunken apology.”
“So you'd be willing to try?” He asked with a hopeful smile.
She shrugged. “Now come on, let's get you to bed.” She said and took his hand, and laid him on her bed. “And don't you dare puke on my sheets” She warns.
He moved to the corner giving her some space, she climbed next to him and he wrapped his arms around her. “Is this okay?” He asked.
“It's fine.” She said, totally not bothered by his touch.
After five minutes of silence she spoke. “You know, you deserve to be loved. I don't why you think you don't, but you're a nice person, Grayson. And if you let me, I might fall in love with you”
“Thank you for saying that. Also, take back what you said earlier.” He said.
“What?”
“When you said you're not special. Because you are, to me.”
 She turned to his side. “Don't sweet talk me. You owe me multiple dates before I officially forgive you”
“Just dates?”
“And a bag, maybe.”
“Dates and bag it is then”
She smiled. “You're really good at pushing people. But this better be the last time. Okay?”
“Yes, ma’am” 
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shopcat · 3 months
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why did i just see a post actually mad that ten thousand dollars is being donated to charity bc it's not going to organisations that need immediate help and therefore is actually immoral and suibait worthy. do you have rocks in your skull. do people just not think very hard before they say things. regardless of how you feel about the fandom itself what an incredibly silly way to approach it ... 😭😭😭
obviously people, in general, should focus their aid on organisations that need immediate help but to insinuate that continuing to exist as a person with various interests and things to stand for alongside and doing anything else is a waste is not only, again, really silly, it's also kind of cruel...? and also this applies to everyone on earth and is not only applicable to one random fandom you already hate in the first place. be seriousssss. for real. demonising charity...
#🐾#i wasn't even going to say anything because how ridiculous can you get 😭#i seriously think people need to realise that talking about what matters actually means doing that and not just being juvenile and petty#you can so seriously hate ofmd for whatever reason you want you can want all it's fans DEAD but be so fucking serious right now you're#trying to act like donating to charity is a fucking criminal offense 😭 are you 16 years old#well some of them are close ...#also i have to I HAVE TO BELIEBE that people just didn't understand the phrasing bc this is seriously silly#fandom related charities even from an outsiders pov would = lgbt charities#or do people seriously think there's somehow a fandom related charity like. for fandoms. like a03 or something 😭#i would believe disability or even indigenous/māori orgs could have focus#and i know people donate to a cancer fund bc of a fan who passed in their honour#like this is so... you're all getting way too wrapped up and need to dial it back a couple dozen notches#also not even like bringing up the whole 10k for palestine last november + 6k for care for gaza + another fundraise organised for the 19th#for palestine specifically which i imagine would get anything between the same amount#like it's all so... you can argue that it's inequal or unfair as much as you want until you literally pass out but 0 dollars is far worse#and at the end of the day at least there's focus and attention and aid being actually given 😭 does it matter#i have as much misgivings as the next guy but i'm also not an irrational person ... THIS IS SO DUMB. IT'S CHARITY#absolutely ppl who need it should have focus in ppls activism and efforts. you can do this amazing thing called ''both''
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lesbianlotties · 4 months
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literally not my fault that i dont have a journal or therapy so you all have to see me oversharing on tumblr dot com
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chewwytwee · 1 year
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#.txt#this isnt a vent but like#its gonna be a thought dump about some stuff so yeah youre in for mental illness if you read further#not to be super down on myself cuz this really isnt a big deal#but im realizing more and more that im like a really high strung person. I take everything really seriously and i dont rlly know if thats a#good thing#like I have a hard time just having hobbies. like piano isnt a hobby for me at least not anymore im way too serious about piano for it to#be a hobby#that doesnt mean i dont enjoy it piano is the single most important thing in my life right now and i care about it more than anything#but like.#its not a hobby#and so i think this like... intensity on my 'hobbies' seeps into a lot of other areas of my life#and in rlly small ways too.#I find it very very hard to pick up new hobbies. I dont want to if i dont have the capacity to learn it very well#and i dont even have to BE good at it. But I want to have the skills and the tools TO be good at it#like what I mean when I say that is like... I deadass dont believe that if you just do a thing everyday you'll end up being really good at#it#if I just sat down at the piano and just played whatever for 2 hours a day#I would suck ass. Like I would be so bad at the piano rn#the reason Ive gotten so much better recently is that I do the exact opposite#I control VERY heavily what I practice and how I practice it. its self discipline#and its all those underpinnings of how I interact with art and the implicit goals I hold while I do it#because like the issue with what I said. Is who cares?#like who gives a shit if youre really good at something#who cares if you arent well rounded who cares#idk#but i do#i care a fucking lot like i care a lot a lot a lot#and so like. I try not to as often as possible and for the most part i do. but I apply this lens to others too#I feel like everyone has to be pursuing a really wide and refined skillset in whatever they do
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homunculus-argument · 4 months
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Character idea that I had at some point: A dance teacher who had to give up his own highly promising career as a performer after an injury, and now makes his living giving lessons to children. He comes off as stern, serious, and frighteningly strict, and even some of the parents have a hard time believing that the kids genuinely like him and enjoy the lessons. Which, to be fair, are frightening to watch with no context of what this is about.
The children go through their practices with downright eerie, automation-like, coordinated synchrony, with stern and focused looks on their faces, while the teacher circles them, observing and correcting, brandishing his cane like a weapon and every once in a while dramatically lamenting about how "you little vermin can't do anything right", and occasionally the music stops and the only sounds coming from the studio are of kids running and screaming while their teacher bellows about teaching them a lesson.
This, however, is all just method. He started the first lesson with the children by proposing a game: How about they play flea circus, where he is the cruel evil ringmaster and they are all his poor suffering little fleas. One of the girls starts crying, protesting that she doesn't want to be a flea. Well, how about mice? Mice are cute. The children accept these terms, and ever since they've spent dance lessons playing Evil Circus.
For reasons beyond adult comprehension, children of a certain age really love playing pretend in a setting where everything is Dark And Horrible And The Worst, and Evil Mouse Circus is exactly that. And whenever he picks up that the kids are starting to get too genuinely nervous or agitated, that's when he goes "that's it I'm going to beat all of you" which is their cue to take a break to run around screaming, while he chases them. He won't catch them and isn't even trying to, the kids just need to let the nervous energy out.
It looks horrible to an outside observer, but the kids are having an excellent time playing circus mice.
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titsthedamnseason · 3 months
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#i feel bad saying this bc in the forward brandon says that sazed’s character arc gave him a lot of trouble in the back half of the series#but i can definitely sense that#i don’t really love the direction that it took#i mean i actually do think that him losing faith in the one thing he dedicated his life to is a really strong plot#like it’s the most Serious and unexpected but sadly believable thing that could happen to a character like sazed#but i’m unfortunately not convinced that tindwyl’s death would cause this#and i swear im not just being a hater because i didn’t like her a lot as a character#i just mean that we never really saw them interact that much? and sort of knew that they’d known each other back in terris but there were no#flashbacks or anything and so much of the past was tinged with animosity#so imo their love story came on kind of fast and didn’t convince me#which is why i think i can’t by grief for tindwyl as the reason for sazed’s prolonged mental breakdown#and i also feel bad saying this next part because personal grief obviously changes and affects a person more than other objective deaths#but sazed if fr acting like nobody else has ever died before#like sir your nation is in the midst of a millennia long still ongoing tragedy and desperately needs your specific help now#GET IT TOGETHER MAN!#mine#juli reads the cosmere#in his last pov he said something like ‘yes people have been dying this whole time but tindwyl was Different’ well actually no she wasn’t!#the rest of the terrismen are actively being targeted right now. let’s focus on that if you’re so worried babes!
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9260remade · 11 months
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As a rape survivor, I understand the need for safe space together – free from sexist harassment and potential violence. But fear of gender variance also can't be allowed to deceptively cloak itself as a women's safety issue. I can't think of a better example than my own, and my butch friends', first-hand experiences in public women's toilets. Of course women need to feel safe in a public restroom; that's a serious issue. So when a man walks in, women immediately examine the situation to see if the man looks flustered and embarrassed, or if he seems threatening; they draw on the skills they learned as young girls in this society to read body language for safety or danger.
Now, what happens when butches walk into the women's bathroom? Women nudge each other with elbows, or roll their eyes, and say mockingly, "Do you know which bathroom you're in?" Thats not how women behave when they really believe there's a man in the bathroom. This scenario is not about women's safety – its an example of gender-phobia.
And ask yourself, if you were in the women's bathroom, and there were two teenage drag queens putting on lipstick in front of the mirror, would you be in danger? If you called security or the cops, or forced those drag queens to use the men's room, would they be safe?
If the segregation of bathrooms is really about more than just genitals, then maybe the signs ought to read "Men" and "Sexually and Gender Oppressed," because we all need a safe place to go to the bathroom. Or even better, let's fight for clean individual bathrooms with signs on the doors that read "Restroom."
And defending the inclusion of transsexual sisters in women's space does not threaten the safety of any woman. The AIDS movement, for example, battled against the right-wing characterization of gay men as a "high-risk group." We won an understanding that there is no high-risk group – there are high-risk behaviors. Therefore, creating safety in women's space means we have to define unsafe behavior – like racist behavior by white women towards women of color, or dangerous insensitivity to disabilities.
Transsexual sisters are not a Trojan horse trying to infiltrate women's space. There have always been transsexual women helping to build the women's movement – they are part of virtually every large gathering of women. They want to be welcomed into women's space for the same reason every woman does – to feel safe.
Leslie Feinberg, Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Marsha P. Johnson and Beyond
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drchucktingle · 3 months
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT
hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.
while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.
i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously
lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 
unfortunately i will also have to decline.
the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.
sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.
this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.
but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.
regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?
without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.
to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?
so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’
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centrally-unplanned · 10 months
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We (somewhat rightly) mock the 2000's era fansub translation notes for their otaku fixations and privileging of trivia over the media, but they should be understood as serving their purpose for a bit of a different era in the anime fandom. Take this classic:
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Like, its so obvious, right? Just say "pervert", you don't need the note! Which is true, for like a 'normie' audience member who just wants to watch A TV Show - but no one watching, uh *quick google* "Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne" in 1999 is that person. The audience is weebs, and for them the fact that show is Japanese is a huge selling point. They want it to feel as 'anime' as possible; and in the west language was one of the core signifiers of anime-ness. 2004 con-goers calling their friends "-kun" and throwing in "nani?" into conversations was the way this was done, and alongside that a lexicon of western anime fandom terminology was born. Seeing "ecchi" on the screen is, to this person, a better viewing experience - it enhances their connection to otaku identity the show is providing, and reinforces their shared cultural lexicon (Ecchi is now a term one 'expects' anime fans to know - a truth that translator notes like this simultaneously created and reflected).
But of course your audiences have different levels of otaku-dom, and so you can't just say 'ecchi' and call it a day - so for those who are only Level 2 on their anime journey, you give them a translation note. Most of the translation notes of the era are like this - terms the fansubber thought the audience might know well enough that they would understand it and want that pure Japanese cultural experience, but that not all of them would know, so you have to hedge. The Lucky Star one I posted is a great example of that:
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Its Lucky Star, the otaku-crown of anime! You desperately want the core text to preserve as much anime vocab as possible, to give off that feeling, but you can't assume everyone knows what a GALGE is - doing both is the only way to solve that dilemma.
This is often a good guideline when looking at old memetically bad fansubs by the way:
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This isn't real, no fansub had this - it was a meme that was posted on a wiki forum in 2007. Which makes sense, right? "Plan" isn't a Japanese cultural or otaku term, so there is no reason not to translate it, it doesn't deepen the ~otaku connection~.
Which, I know, I'm explaining the joke right now, but over time I think many have grown to believe that this (and others like it) is a real fansub, and that these sort of arbitrary untranslations just peppered fansub works of the time? It happened, sure, but they would be equally mocked back then as missteps - or were jokes themselves. Some groups even had a reputation for inserting jokes into their works, imo Commie Subs was most notable for this; part of the competitive & casual environment of the time. But they weren't serious, they are not examples of "bad fansubs" in the same way.
This all faded for a bunch of reasons - primarily that the market for anime expanded dramatically. First, that lead to professionally released translations by centralized agencies that had universal standards for their subs and accountability to the original creators of the show. Second, the far larger audience is far less invested in anime-as-identity; they like it, but its not special the way its special when you are a bullied internet recluse in 2004. They just want to watch the show, and would find "caring" about translation nuances to be cringe. And since these centralized agencies release their product infinitely faster and more accessibly than fansubs ever did, their copies now dominate the space (including being the versions ripped to all illegal streaming sites), so fansubs died.
Though not totally - a lot of those fansub groups are still around! Commie Subs is still kicking for example. They either do the weird nuance stuff, or fansub unreleased-in-the-west old or niche anime, or even have pivoted to non-anime Japanese content that never gets international release. But they used to be the taste-makers of the community; now they are the fringe devotees in a culture that has moved beyond them. So fansubs remain something of a joke of the 90's and 2000's in the eyes of the anime culture of today, in a way that maybe they don't deserve.
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avelera · 3 months
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PSA: You should question news articles that make you not want to vote
Hey Tumblr friends, but especially young Americans in this, the year of our Lord 2024.
Unfortunately, it is an election year.
Unfortunately, a US election year becomes everyone's problem, and yes everyone else, we are very very sorry that you have to deal with our nonsense.
But in all seriousness, the level of propaganda that's going to be flung around on all sides is going to reach peak levels this year for the English-speaking internet in particular. There's going to be a lot of influence operations, on all sides, and yes including on sides you agree with but they are still influence operations.
Source: I am speaking as a cybersecurity professional who also did a great deal of work in election security.
So, here's what I am going to ask you to do. What I am going to beg you to do: be careful of any article that makes you think there's no point in voting.
That's it. I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, or how to think, or that you should trust or distrust every article out there. I don't care about that. I care about whether or not it makes you think you shouldn't vote.
A lot of influence operations are about making you feel like there's no point. That both sides are just as bad as the other. The the election is falsified. That you can "protest" by not voting (false: you will simply not be counted and your voice will be ignored). All sorts of reasons not to vote.
No matter what you do, what you believe, or who you trust, you really really have to vote this year, and every year, and you need to not listen to articles that say there's no point because among those articles are in fact active foreign influence campaigns trying to promote one side or the other for their own reasons, I am deadly serious right now.
(More context, sources, and examples sources below the cut.)
In 2016, Russian influence operations were focused on tearing down Hillary in order to specifically depress voter turnout among young men of color in the belief that this would help Trump get elected.
From the article: "“Buried literally in the middle of the indictment is a paragraph that should jar every American committed to the long fight for voting rights,” Anders wrote in a statement. “The Russians allegedly masqueraded as African-American and American Muslim activists to urge minority voters to abstain from voting in the 2016 election or to vote for a third-party candidate.”
This is the flavor of influence campaign that has been proven, that does exist, and is the sort of thing that does numbers here on Tumblr.
Things like the situation in Gaza, for example, are incredibly fraught situations. Articles don't even need to lie about facts on the ground there to make people feel hopeless and angry. Again, I am not telling you who to trust or not trust when it comes to news sources. But if an article about this event, for examples, makes you think or even outright tells you, "There's no point to voting, both sides are awful, I just shouldn't bother." You need to pause and at least consider that this might be an influence operation. You need to think critically. You need to check sources. You need to think about the world you want to live in, to vote for, and who might not want that world to happen for any variety of reasons.
Protesting by failing to vote isn't a real thing.
Old politicians ignoring young voters because they famously do not bother to vote is absolutely 100% a real thing. It is why so many policies that are popular with young people are low priority for politicians: they are not afraid of losing the young vote because no one plans on having it in the first place when it's never there in big enough numbers to matter.
So please, please, read what you want. Believe what you want. Follow your heart and your brain and whatever other organ you want to think with. I'm not here to tell you who is right, wrong, trustworthy, good, or bad. I'm just here to tell you that despite all of that, whatever you read, you must vote in your elections, no matter where you are in the world and you must not listen to voices that tell you not to as a protest.
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hyewka · 3 months
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—what a loser! | c.bg
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୨୧ synopsis. hearing rumours of your sex life travel around your campus for the first time has you standing in front of the very person that you’re convinced is responsible. your secret fuck buddy.
୨୧ warnings. stoner!gyu, bratty sub!beomgyu, mean femdom, humiliation kink, VERY public, hair pulling, hate sex kind of, cunnilingus, use of pet, fuck buddies, reader has a priest dad, bit of a toxic dynamic
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“Why’re you here?” he mumbles casting his eyes down to his feet as he idly skates around, not paying you even a little bit of eye contact or actual acknowledgement.
“Can we talk somewhere else? More private?”
He ignores you.
You huff, rolling your eyes, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. The sun had already set, there were even less people out—no one was skating around at this hour but Beomgyu. “Why—" you take a breath, already feeling yourself get emotional and angry, “Why did you go around telling people about us?”
There’s a few reasons circling your head. Attention, bragging rights—attention was a big one but you hoped, no, a part of you believes it was an accident. That he let the information slip from his lips when he was drunk, or out of his right mind. But with the way he’s acting, it’s getting harder to hold on to the belief that Beomgyu was misunderstood and not just a fucking asshole.
Too much time goes by with silence and you think hes blatantly ignoring you again, but then he halts his skating, taking the time to run a hand through his hair. Hair that you’ve regretfully played with days on end, twirling strands around your finger, giggling as if the foundation you’ve built your relationship on wasn’t such a fragile fire that could be snuffed out in seconds if not the tiniest bit careful.
Look where you are now.
“Dunno, ‘cuz I can.”
His eyes are on you, bangs parted, looking straight at you. You can’t get it out of your mind, how the ends of his lips twitched up as he said that. Bitch. Fucking bitch.
He finds this amusing. A game. Your reputation was a game to him. Of course it is. He never took anything serious, not his career, not his relationships, not his future—he never cared.
Your nostrils flare as you stomp large strides towards him, charging and shoving his chest, having him stumble backwards off his board, dryly laughing. “The goody two shoes about to commit an assault?”
“Oh fuck off, you wouldn’t dare try suing me. God, I hate you so much. You’re such a—such a fucking loser!” you yell.
That wiped off the cocky demeanour.
“Here’s some two cents for you, I couldn’t give less of a fuck about whatever this is between us. I really couldn’t. But you—” your face gets heated up, pointing a finger at him. “You will never find anything better than what I gave you. And you’re going to live with that.”
He scoffs like he’s unbothered but it’s so clear with the way he clenches his jaw afterwards he’s pissed—it hit a spot. Good. Good, let him be hurt.
“What do you even—what did you gain by telling everybody my sex life? Having people call me a slut? Some sick pleasure from being superior to me for once? Attention? Huh? Why’re you acting out now?” Your eyes are narrowed as they implore answers out of him, searching his face and eyes, anything, anything that you can read from his unbearable silence.
“Yeah.”
You blink confused. “What?”
“Yeah, I wanted the attention. Happy now?” He walks to shoulder you but you let out a scoff, holding him back by his arm and pushing him in front of you again.
“You can’t for one second act like a man can you? You just run away from everything!” you feel like you could rip out your hair with how frustrating hes being.
“If you’re just going to stand there and insult me like a bitch I might as well just go and do something fucking productive.” he spits.
Your cheeks heat up and you think for the first time you understand the phrase of seeing red. Hes been poking and poking and poking with his nonchalance then later smugness then going onto just straight up disrespect—he was really pushing you. So he should’ve expected the hand that goes to strike him against his face—your chest rising up and down, brows furrowed deeply.
A faint red hand print blooms across his cheek, and his jaw falls slack, eyes blown out and wide. You suddenly grab him by the back of his hair, no doubt burning his scalp with the way he lets out a loud hiss. “I fucking hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.”
You’re so close to his face and everything about the way he’s looking at you gives you the chills. You hate him. You do. He’s insane, he’s selfish, he’s rude, he’s—
A shaky lopsided grin still manages to break from his face, “No you don’t.”
And that was your last straw.
The addictive nature about Beomgyu is what kept you coming back over and over again—he never lead, he just let you…take him. And sometimes, at a point of your life where you feel like everythings being controlled for you, not having the choice to make the decisions you like, this somewhat served as an outlet.
That’s the more…reasonable explanation.
The other explanation is simple. He’s so fucking sexy.
The way he still melts into a kiss so harsh and mean, attempting to cup your cheeks, but immedietely dropping it when he feels your disapporval, his whimpers already picking up, not taking any incentive to breathe as if this kiss was enough to keep him alive; it’s those little things that have you up in the middle of the night thinking about him. Him.
Beomgyu, the stereotypical bad-boy stoner hipster outcast—the antithesis of everything present in your picture perfect life—he keeps you up at night. The mix of weed and his hilariously bad attempt at covering it with febreeze and cologne wafts your scent, it overwhelms you, but you still can’t get enough. Everything annoying about him disappears when he’s touching you.
“Why? Why do you keep doing this?” you say, finally being able to pull away from him—only after you had jerked on his hair harsher.
His lips are swollen, red and glistening—he looks pretty like this. He really does. But those lips always end up saying something to piss you off. “Keep doing what? Letting everyone know how you really are? Not actually the good girl you pretend to be, huh.”
You don’t know if he’s goading you on purpose because he likes it rough, or if he’s just being an asshole in general. It doesn’t matter. If he’s going to act like a brat, he’ll get treated like one.
Your knuckles had turned white with how hard you were gripping his hair so it feels relieving when you finally let it go. He tries to lean in to chase after your lips again, but you have your hands on his chest to stop him.
The flash of panic in his eyes when you step back from him is hilarious, it really is. It tells you everything you need to know. He wants you. He really wants you. He doesn’t care if you hit him or ruin his life, he wants you.
If his next words are any indication. “Hey, hey what are you doing? Where are you going?”
You walk to sit on a step of the stairs. “Do you think I’m a slut? Is that why you thought you had the audacity? Surely because otherwise if you respected me you wouldn’t have spread those rumors about me.”
He huffs out a laugh, the biggest reaction you’ve gotten out of him so far. He also walks to get closer to you. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You haven’t even come up with one single reason that would paint me in a better light. You really do see me as a fucking douchebag loser.” He’s clearly getting emotional with the way his voice gets higher pitched, the nonchalant front cracking, his lips slightly trembling.
“Because that’s what you are. Douchebag. Loser. You’re. A. Loser. Choi Beomgyu.”
You can see his fists clench at his sides, tight lipped. If you knew any better, you think he might’ve just started crying, but you’re not interested in tears. You angle your feet to point to the ground, “On your knees.”
He only hesitates for a second, he only stands there staring at you for a second, only a second before he crumbles and does as you say, getting on his knees in front of you, between your legs. “Closer.”
“But-"
“But what?” Your skirts already half way ridden up and you stare him down, keeping your eye contact intense.
“We’re in p-public. Anyone can see.”
You know hes blushing when you see the tips of his ears peek out, bright red. Aw, he’s nervous? Embarrassed? Shy?
“You’re never seeing me after this Choi. Make of it what you can or piss off.”
His eyes widen comically at that. “What? What does that mean? Are you leaving me?”
You can’t decipher or understand why exactly hes so surprised but you shake it off, you don’t want your good time to be spoiled. Not when your underwears’ already sticking to your pussy seeing him on his knees, on the ground, with his ripped baggy jeans, no doubt a pavement burn getting to him. “Are you going to eat me out or should I get up and leave?”
He shakes his head vehemently, hands on your knees spreading your legs. “Sorry, ‘m sorry. Don’t leave. Gonna make you feel good, promise.”
He’s already rambling like he’s dumbed out, like he’s about to be a goner. But he’s still hesitant in his actions and you groan, throwing your head back. “What the fuck Beomgyu?”
A pout rests on his lips, “I—…I don’t want anyone seeing you..”
You think he’s giving a fuck for your decency, you think its about you for once. But then another thought pops up in your head and your lips twitch. It’s not for you. It’s for him. He doesn’t want any possible pedestrian to see what only him so far has been able to see.
This isn’t worth it.
You make an attempt to get up before Beomgyu immediately has you sit back down, wasting no time to press his face between your legs, skirt over his head. His tongue pokes out to lick on over your panties, gradually wetting it and you sigh, the tenseness of your body evaporating. “Yeah, thats it. Be good for me pup.” He whines at that.
Beomgyu doesn’t tease any longer the moment your hands go to grab his hair because suddenly he bunches your panties to the side and you feel the contact of his hot tongue on your cunt, already lapping away like a dog. Dumb dog. Dumb dog. Dumb dumb dumb—but shit he’s having you curl your toes at the speed he’s going, the way he moans against your pussy like hes somehow enjoying eating you out more than you are.
“You’re my toy, nothing else. But you just keep—you keep irritating me, you keep being a dick, you keep provoking me.” you breathe out, tightening your fistful of his hair in your hand, making his moans even louder, nuzzling closer in your pussy you think he might genuinely suffocate at this point. But knowing him, he’d probably like that. “God, you absolute loser.”
He whines something intelligible, wet eyes looking up at you with his brows pulling up—it makes you gasp as you bite down on your bottom lip. He’s so pretty it’s unfair. Why’s such a sinful person so pretty? God must really have the time of his life making this hell for you.
You take it upon yourself to lift yourself a bit, grinding on his face harder, trying to reach your high, obstructing your view of his face—even with the anxiety of doing this so out in the open resting at the pit of your stomach. He’s practically mewling in your pussy, and the sounds send vibrations, his nose bumping up your clit every now and then. He lets you use him, he just lets you.
When Beomgyu fully submits like this to you…you see stars, you come hard. “More…more”, he groans, licking up your arousal. It’s so dirty, it really is, but you can’t help but nod.
Having the skater eat you out till your legs were jelly at a skatepark late at night would surely guarantee your place in hell.
“You’re such a whore, letting me fuck your face like this baby—don’t soil your pants yet, I know how you get. Probably getting off at the fact that we’re out l-like this…h-hah—dirty, dirty boy.”
He shakes his head, the glistening sweat of his forehead and the matted strands on his temple proof of how hard hes really going at it. “Not dirty. Just wan’ your attention..”
The second you tut at him for stopping he immedietely dives back in—you don’t know if it’s more him being afraid of a punishmet or because he himself doesn’t want to stop. Never mind that, because now hes wrapping his pretty lips around your clit and you’re fucking losing your mind with how quick your head clouds.
There are so many things circling your head right now. And this always happens whenever he starts talking during a hook up. Yes, it helps you get to an edge even faster but its for all the wrong reasons. He’d dirty talk for a bit before switching up, and suddenly all of his words are loving and cute and adorable and, and that’s bad. When you see him other than the image he’s curated for himself—that’s when you start feeling the unfamiliar butterflies fluttering.
You don’t like it. He’s not good for you.
“Stop thinking, only focus on me.” You gasp, your fingers digging into his tangled hair, disheveling it even more. Only him.
He makes you orgasm again, and when you catch your breath you gently push his head away, then harder when he can’t seem to stop kissing your inner thighs. He sighs, dropping it, but not without giving you one last puppy plea. You avoid his eyes, pulling your panties up and scoping around the area, all of a sudden feeling exposed. Did you really just let this punk eat you out on a staircase?
You stand up, dusting your ass, taking note of the redness of his knees and the large wet patch in between his crotch when Beomgyu follows, getting up from his knees, wiping his ridiculously wet lips. You tuck a strand behind your ear as you awkwardly stand, thinking over what you’re going to say now.
We’re over, bye.
I’ll go home now, don’t call me.
I hope you know how bad you messed up. Bye.
I’m blocking you on everything so don’t even think of contacting me.
“Don’t leave me.”
…That has you snap out of your reverie.
His voice is low, no doubt vulnerable. This is the worst. This is bad. Shit.
You clear your throat. “Why? Why shouldn’t I? Even if I didn’t want to I’d have to…my dad knows about you now because of the little stunt you pulled and he definitely doesn’t approve of you.” You mumble the last part, crossing your arms and keeping your distance. But that’s not of any use when he steps forward every time you take a step back.
“I’m—” He runs a hand through his hair again, clearly frustrated. And you don’t understand why, does he really operate life thinking there aren’t consequences to his actions? If he didn’t want to stop this so bad why’d he tell people about your relationship when you explicitly told him not to? “We can—we can do it in secret like we did this entire time. He doesn’t have to know.”
You sigh, also frankly frustrated. “Beomgyu! Why can’t you just-"
Suddenly you’re in his embrace, engulfing you so gently and yet the desperation in it couldn’t have been any more tighter. “Please, please don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’ll—I’ll really do everything you want, I’ll be your toy, your pet, whatever shit you’re into—just don’t leave me."
You really shouldn’t give in. You really, really shouldn’t.
But then he nuzzles into your neck, mumbling with that slight whiny drawl in his tone, “I’ll be your good boy, I promise. Won’t misbehave anymore.”
Of course you give in. Again.
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୨୧ note. honestly don’t know where this came from, i was just making up backstory as i was writing. literally only had one thought and one thought only, what if sub!bad boy x dom! good girl? and that was the small attempt made here lol, i love hearing any feedback or even a theory or two concerning the story’s world as i might explore these characters again 🙏
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paperclipninja · 3 days
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I'm gonna sound very old person yells at cloud but I don't care, I feel like I need to say this. We all (well most of us) know that messaging Neil with any headcanons/theories/wishes/hopes/dreams to do with the show is a no-go because it could potentially compromise the story he wants to tell or ends up telling. And yes, he is a grown up who chooses what to respond to etc and I think it's wonderful he engages with fans and answers a lot of lovely and interesting questions about his process, writing and journey etc.
However, there is another reason not to send theories and ideas about how the show should go to the show creator in the hope of a response: it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether a theory is correct, or a speculation may or may not play out. That is why fandom exists.
Online fandom is where we all come together to yell and cry and throw around weird-ass ideas and theories and look at art and read fanfic and unite in our love of characters and a show. A huge part of being in fandom, is the way fandom theories become like an understood little bit of fanon lore that some people attach to, others disregard. But it doesn't matter. And part of the fun of fandom, is when a new season or a new episode of the show comes out, you have this collective catalogue of ideas and theories and headcanons and you get to yell and scream, "omg it happened1" or "lol that that thing was ever talked about" or "thank god that theory didn't come to pass".
Wanting to know now (not that we ever will) and not wanting to wait until the next season to find out the answers diminishes the fandom experience. I cannot stress enough how much we are in the absolute peak of the fandom experience right now. The between seasons time is the ultimate time to be a part of a fandom (as I'm sure many people are well aware), knowing there's another season coming energises everyone to create and connect and speculate and it's glorious! I know it feels like it'll be like this forever, but it won't. Next season is the last and yes, there will be a flurry and uptick of all the energy and excitement once again, and I absolutely believe Good Omens fandom will live on and remain active and thrumming. But there won't be theories and what ifs and hunting for clues for the next season, and over time it will dwindle a little and plateau and some people will fall into other fandoms, and while it will probably bubble away, there won't be the anticipation that sits with us now.
My point is, fandom is where we get to throw around ideas and flail and be ridiculous and also serious sometimes, but it's all for us. For the fans. Showing Neil theories or getting in a flap about a particular speculation and asking if x, y, or z might happen isn't just about putting the creator in an awkward spot, it takes away what fandom is about. Just let this time be ours. If you haven't been in fandom before, enjoy it! Don't be in a hurry to seek definitive answers or know things either way.
It doesn't matter if any or none or all of the things that float around end up being correct or incorrect. Fandom isn't about being right. It's about being a part of a community and being able to share ideas and it's about it being FUN.
So TL;DR Stop sending Neil fan ideas because that is for fandom, not for the creator.
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steddiealltheway · 2 months
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Eddie’s having a strange day.
For once in his life, he’s not being treated like absolute shit by all the dumbass jocks of Hawkins High School.
In fact, they’re not even engaging with him at all. They’re looking at him, but they’re just not saying anything. Even when Eddie pretends to drop his stuff in front of Billy Hargrove, he doesn’t even laugh at him.
And while this should feel like the best day of Eddie’s life, he has an underlying feeling that this is all very very wrong.
Then, he knows the universe has decided to fuck with him or something when Tommy Hagan meets him at his “business transaction” table and instead of buying anything, he leans in and whispers, “Meet me at skull rock after school today.” And fucking plants a quick kiss to his cheek.
And hey. What the hell was that?
Yes, he’s seen the way Tommy looks at Steve Harrington to know there’s no way that there’s not a part of him that wants him in a way that is definitely not platonic.
But Eddie isn’t Steve Harrington (who makes every guy feel a little bit gay) he’s Eddie Munson. And this does not happen to him.
But, he reasons with himself that, hey, maybe he’s in a coma or something and this is his only chance to see what life would be like if he was… liked? That doesn’t seem to be the right word, but he doesn’t know how else to describe it.
Or maybe the universe decided he needs a break from his horrible second senior year.
Doubtful.
Nonetheless, he decides what the hell, why not go to skull rock and see what Tommy Hagan wants, despite everything in his being screaming THIS IS A BAD IDEA!!!
And a few feet into the forest, he hears the quick crunching of leaves and sticks as something approaches him and is nearly startled out of his skin by Steve Harrington of all people.
“You need to leave,” Steve pants out.
Eddie glances around and wonders if this is real.
“Eddie, I’m serious. You need to leave. Right now.”
Eddie crosses his arms. “Why?”
Steve sighs and runs his hands over his face. “Oh my god you remind me of Henderson. Okay. The basketball team is planning to ambush you because Billy thought it was a good idea or something. I don’t know. I overheard it in the locker room. And you have to leave.”
Eddie takes a moment to let it all sink in. And yeah, it adds up with the rest of the day, but also… “Why should I trust you?”
“Huh?”
“You’re Steve Harrington. You’re on the basketball team. What if you’re part of the trap?”
Steve shakes his head. “I’m not really friends with any of them.” His head whips around when a cracking noise sounds out a good distance away. “Let’s go,” Steve says, grabbing Eddie’s hand and tugging him away.
Eddie plants his feet and stays in place. “You’re going to have to prove to me in some way that you’re not in on this.”
Steve runs a hand through his hair and pinches his lips together. “I don’t know how!”
“Then tell me why you’re going against all of them to help me.”
Steve’s brows furrow for a moment before he puts his hands on his hip. “Because I’ve been on the receiving end of a Billy attack and that was before he lost the little control he had over his sort of sister that like kept him weirdly grounded or something. But ever since, he’s been itching for a fight, okay? And he doesn’t hold back. He could kill you.”
Half of it doesn’t make sense to Eddie, but something about Steve’s tone makes him believe that he’s telling the truth. But there’s still a small part of him that wants to doubt him.
“Kiss me.”
“What?” Steve asks, exasperated.
“If you’re in on it, you won’t be able to. Tommy barely even got my cheek-”
“He did what?”
“And,” Eddie continues, ignoring Steve, “if you’re not in on it, you’ll know that this means literally nothing to the both of us, and I’ll run back to my van immediately.”
Steve stares at him for a second as if he’s out of his mind - which he is, really - before stepping closer and asking, “You’ll really leave? Straight away? No poking around the woods because you’re curious?”
“Yeah,” he confirms with a nod. He smiles at Steve’s hesitation and says, “So, you are in on i-”
Only for Steve to quickly close the distance between them, weaving his hands into Eddie’s hair and pulling him close as he kisses him deeply, lingering for a few moments before pulling away, breath coming out heavier than before.
They both stare at each other for a moment, neither of them saying a word until another crunching sound appears closer than before and a voice calls out, “Eddie?”
Steve takes Eddie hand and runs, only for Eddie to pull him the other way toward his van, still slightly not trusting him although he’s pretty sure Steve’s tongue may have grazed the inside of his mouth. But that’s a thought for a later day.
As soon as the van is in sight, Eddie lets out a deep breath, happy to see it’s untouched before he runs and unlocks it, yelling for Steve to get in before starting it and taking off.
Once he’s on the road, he turns to Steve and asks, “You think we lost them?”
Steve nods and sighs, “I hope they don’t find my car though.”
“Where is it?” Eddie asks, quick to turn around when Steve directs him.
He’s not far from where Eddie was parked before, but with the risk of being discovered, Eddie is quick to stop his car and tell Steve, “Go!”
But Steve takes a moment and looks back at him, and Eddie’s suddenly scared that maybe he read this all wrong and Steve really is in on the trap. But then Steve asks, “And what if I asked you to convince me to go?”
It takes Eddie a second to register what the hell he’s talking about before he’s glancing back at the trees, searching for any movement before leaning over and breathing out, “I have got to be in a coma or something.”
There’s a brief sharp pain in his arm that has him yelping before he registers that Steve pinched him. “Maybe not,” Steve says, leaning closer to close the distance between them again, deepening the kiss in the short amount of time they have and quickly pulling away, leaving Eddie desperate for more.
“I’ll see you around. Thanks for listen to me,” Steve says before hopping out of the van and running to his car.
Eddie takes a moment to breathe before realizing he needs to get the hell out of there, and he quickly speeds off wondering if this is real life.
-:-:-:-:-:-
The next day, things go back to the way they used to be, but any time Tommy sees him, he turns an ugly shade of red which is accompanied by laughs of, “Eddie Munson stood you up.”
It’s nice at first, but two periods in, he’s already had enough of the dumb jabs people take at him until someone knocks a notebook out of his hands and it goes flying toward a nice blue pair of Adidas.
Eddie bends down at the same time as the other person does, and they both grab the book. When Eddie glances up, he makes eye contact with none other than Steve who gives him a small, private smile.
“Harrington,” Tommy says in an accusatory tone that has Steve frowning before standing back up, leaving the notebook in Eddie’s hand.
As he walks away, he turns back and gives him an apologetic smile that makes Eddie wonder if this is what Romeo and Juliet felt like.
The thought makes his nose wrinkle up before he stands up and goes about his day as if he doesn’t know what it’s like to be kissed by Steve Harrington. And a big part of him hopes that maybe he’ll get another weird day where Steve Harrington plays hero for him. And another part of him hopes that if he really is in a coma, he’ll wake up with Steve waiting for him on the other side.
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