#and because i look at his issues with empathy and how he likes the company of unhinged people and go Same Hat

[larrythefloridaman]

maybe J0hn for the character bingo? owo

love this man ive been attached to him since he first showed up <3 dont have too much new i can think of to say about him though

[cryingaboutit1514]

that anon wasn’t me but they are absolutely correct and i feel like i should give my two cents worth about all of this among the sea of hate towards the nijisanji livers. i’m not bootlicking the company, but i feel like it’s hypocritical for people to sent hate to the talents after doki said MULTIPLE times not to since she was also a victim of such behavior (and plenty of dragoons no longer even feel safe in her community because of the immense amount of people who are only there to harass and don’t even care for her) this is a rant that just shows that the issue is gray and that we’ll never really know what’s going on as outsiders

tell the remaining members to graduate because their fanbase will follow them is stupid, acting like they didn’t work their asses off to get where they are and haven’t invested so much in their current persona. ike, elira, and vox are some of the most popular talents so that it makes sense for anycolor to force them into making the stream. saying that vox doesn’t care about mental health after his charity stream and saying that it was just for show need to shut up because we’ll never how how he’s really feeling behind the avatar. elira specifically doesn’t deserve the disproportionate amount of hate and disgusting things she received from it from what was essentially revenge porn to art of her being abused, have these people not been taught that if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? it costs NOTHING to spam hate on your private account instead.

while i agree that the 2% merch sales and 1/4 (after youtube) of the supas should be raised, that doesn’t mean that the livers aren’t making any money and are poor as several of them have mentioned being able to pay off student loans and have turned their lives around with the money. while it sucks that selen made no profit after investing 200k into projects, maria has mentioned before that covers were more of passion gifts to fans rather than something to make money off of (i DO think that they should be paid for their projects, but that’s just how it goes unfortunately). last cup of coffee was taken down because she didn’t have all of the proper permissions and rushed posting it as a sweet gift to fans, management had full intentions to put it back up.

accusing livers of being bullies based on speculations is idiotic as it just hurts innocent people in the crossfire. these may just look like anime women and men to you, but they are REAL PEOPLE and streaming for nijisanji is their main livelihood! have some empathy, it’s hurting their mental health (the mental health some “dragoons” seem to care about so much)

this goes to say, i am on doki’s side because NO ONE should have to go what she went through, but i just want to show that there are two sides to a coin. i think that nijisanji needs better management, to allow their talents more freedom and a higher percentage of merch sales/supas, and stop treating their livers like shit! stop the harassment and move on, it’s what doki has mentioned multiple times that she wanted! don’t be one of the reasons another liver may have to go what she went through because you have an irrational hate boner for the company

also stream mani / gilty x gilty by maria marionette, finana ryugu, POMU RAINPUFF, meloco kyoran, and kotoka torahime

guys this shit right here

This right here

We need to like post this everywhere bc holy shit people need to understand

You are 100% right!! I agree with everything you just said, esp the "graduate and get out of the company" because they really did bust their asses off to get where they are now and it's a childish way of thinking

[morethanwonderful]

Out of all of Wei Wuxian's traits, one of the ones that fascinates me the most is how incredibly casual and chummy he is with corpses. All the other cultivators are a bit desensitized to the dead by nature of their profession, yes, but Wei Wuxian in particular treats the dead very much the same as he treats living people, and I think it's simultaneously one of his best and most concerning attributes.

On the good side, the way Wei Wuxian treats the dead is absolutely an extension of his overall goodness and empathy. He stands on the side of those that are looked down on, and nobody faces more discrimination that the dead. He treats the dead like people because they are people, and they deserve to have their voices heard. That's what Empathy's for, and that's why he revives Wen Ning to stand as witness to his own murder. Wen Ning is not a thing! And even when Wei Wuxian is raising armies of dead Wens to fight on his behalf, we get illustrations of him giving a helping hand to a weak old corpse that can't stand on its own.

Wei Wuxian is painted in very deliberate contrast to Xue Yang, who treats the dead as tools and deprives them of agency. His closeness with them is a symbol of his kindness.

However, beyond treating the dead decently and like people, there is a point where his chumminess with them starts to get unsettling, and that's the point where it becomes a reflection of his loneliness and trauma. In particular, I'm thinking of his cuddliness with the ghosts he uses to torture Wen Chao and the corpse girls he's hanging out with when he invites Lan Zhan to drink with him. Because treating the dead with respect is a very different thing from having a corpse lay in your lap as you stroke its hair. And fierce corpses by definition do not have personalities (with Wen Ning as the exception that proves the rule), so treating them as companions to socialize with is rather concerning behavior.

So why is he like this? Isolation and trauma!

It's easy to understate the trauma of Wei Wuxian's three months in the Burial Mound, especially given that we don't see them play out but do get details about so many other horrible moments. But those three months? They Fucked Him Up. In particular, beyond the trauma of the near death experience (or presumably many many near death experiences in a row), he spent the better part of three months without seeing a single other living human. People are not meant to do that.

So what is a person gonna do when he spends three months in Worse Solitary Confinement? And when that solitude is spent on Fierce Corpse Mountain? He's gonna get really weird about corpses. He's gonna turn into the kind of man that would let a murderous ghost he's controlling lay in his lap as he strokes her hair, because for an extended period of time, that is the closest thing to human contact he's had access to.

And later, post-sunshot-campaign, Wei Wuxian does regain access to living humans and society, but he's still incredibly isolated. Just about everyone besides his siblings and Lan Zhan hates and/or is scared of him by the time we hit the scene of him and the fierce corpse girls throwing flowers, so it's no wonder he's hanging out with dead people. He already picked up the habit of replacing company with corpses once, so of course he doesn't see anything wrong with it. Maybe they're there as bodyguards, maybe he's just extremely lonely and doesn't have any human companions to drink with him, or maybe (probably) it's a mix of both. But in any case, it's a pretty clear expression of a horrifying degree of both past and present isolation.

That's why, though he doesn't lose his respect for the dead or his desensitization to touching corpses, we never see him just Hanging Out With Mindless Ghosts in his second life. It's a substitute for real companionship, not a healthy behavior, but lack of company is no longer an issue he has after being resurrected.

He doesn't need an entourage of corpse girls, because this time, when he wants company, he's always got Lan Zhan.

[teratophilia]

StaticDust/StaticSpider/TVDust/VoxAngel whatever the name is* has so much unexplored potential.

I'm actually in for some overworked and annoyed men having to deal with Val's antics and finding some common ground while placed into the position of a de-stress agent.

Here are some of my thoughts. Note that I don't like woobified fanons of characters, so don't expect me to "rainbow and sunshine" it:

I think they're pent up with Valentino and Alastor in equal measure because they're both control freaks that love to groom and manipulate people they force into deals and frequently have angry gay sex about it.

I know that Hazbin Instagrams are not canon, but I do like the idea that Vox has a favorite animal so I like to headcanon that for him; Angel is fond of his pig, too. Liking animals also makes Vox a safer person than the aforementioned overlords, as it implies a certain degree of empathy.

Vox could make Angel famous by having him engage in sex work on his own terms. Vox gives off an impression that he has limited staff and treats whoever he has relatively well. Otherwise, it'd be bad for PR. At least, we don't see him ripping people apart or yell at his employees - and being a demanding boss doesn't exactly make one abusive.

Vox does state that his brand is perfection which makes me think that he's very level-headed and able to see through and control people's impulses. He seems to break down when things affect his ego but so does Angel but he's capable of collecting himself. Angel has so far been exposed to a boss with hardcore mood swings with some issues who seems extremely prone to impulsivity; Vox would be a nice shift.

I think he's plenty sexually active, seeing who he has ties with, which, in my opinion, heavily determines if he's a good fit for the hypersexual Angel. In my mind, they'd work out in bed.

Crazy hypnosis gay sex. Bitches are kinky.

Vox is fancy and well-groomed; Angel cherishes his looks and how he presents for others. They'd look good together and kill it in public.

They're both fake as shit. Whatever Vox has going on with Alastor implies a degree of depth to his persona, which Angel has with Valentino. Bonding over insecurities and unattainable aims is a kind of an overdone thing, but it doesn't get old.

Vox is controlling and reads people well enough to convince Valentino to not do something. Angel is batshit impulsive. Let's be honest, he's too traumatized to function on his own. People need to shake sense into him, and a partner who has his shit together while knowing how to get to him would be able to do that.

Personally, I think Angel has glaring BPD and Vox is a mascot for NPD. These disorders are highly comorbid, so I do believe they would understand each other well. I can see them in a flourishing codependent relationship.

Overall, I think they have that CEO/employee from an adjacent company dynamic that people are sleeping on.

*I majorly see the Japanese fandom & Twitter use StaticDust & TVDust

[myconjecturals]

General headcanons for pete and billy sir

im like 2 days late because ive been so busy but fawk yes of course

firstly i alwaysssss give billy prominent eyebags whenever i draw him as Seen Here. i dont think he gets much sleep given all the stuff thats happened to him

hes also a bit chubbier 2 me than he is in canon, i think a stockier build rlly suits him <3

billy is autistic + an rsd haver. obviously. i also think pete is autistic and has bpd. they both have that strand of autism that makes them be really blunt to other people but in separate ways

theyre both bi + aro ^_^ also pete is bigender and goes by he/she 2 me. billay is a he/him but he gets transneutral with it

pete would absolutelyyyyyy be one of those older queer guys who are obsessed with collecting little dolls. like specifically vintage barbies circa 1960-1980 and the like. she would love dropping 500 dollars of company funding on an ebay sale of a small plastic woman

i think billy is similarly a toy lover but hes much more focused on collecting sci-fi/pop culture memorabilia like action figures and lunchboxes and so on. hed be one of those collectors who think having Everything In The Packaging is super important. if you were to touch anything of his in his collection he would kill you on the spot. also he would, realistically speaking, absolutely be a funko pop guy. sorry to have to break that to you We All Have Our Vices

pete has vision issues and cant really see all that well but refuses to get glasses or even contacts he thinks glasses will make him look like a nerd and he doesn’t want to touch his eyes with his fingers. SAD! many such cases

neither of them can cook very well they’ll just eat Whatevers lying around but pete knows how to make good drinks. he loves cocktail more than god

billy would be a big fan of physical comfort. he would love hugs and cuddling and stuff but also he would love Weighted Blanket i think 💆‍♀️ type of autistic guy who needs someone to lay their entire body weight on top of him

pete has low empathy and tends to find difficulty with relating to other people Like A Lot. she also lacks social awareness big time too. she doesn’t like opening up to people a whole lot

billy really enjoys puzzle games. he always struck me as the type of guy to have a gameboy with tetris on it or a rubix cube in his pocket

pete really likes fashion but doesnt want to spend a lot of money on clothes so most of his things are thrifted or bootlegs 😭 this is my explanation for the dumb outfit he always wears because no way did he spend full price on that thing at least i hope not. i hope he didn’t pay full price for Whatever Kind Of Shoes He’s Wearing please god

billy would loveeee doing carpentry and metalwork. i just know this. get this guy in the welding studio and he’ll be in heaven

billy loves wearing button ups with the tacky patterns on them you know the ones.

pete wears makeup but he’s not really all that good at it. his makeup routine consists of like one pink eyeshadow pen that’s probably on its last legs and a really hasty chalky looking eyeliner job but that’s it. sometimes blush but Not Always

also pete has a drawer full of cheap colognes and perfumes. it’s mostly floral stuff but floral in like, a grandma-smelling way yknow

pete likes drag both watching it and partaking in it. look at that man and tell me she doesn’t

also also while i’m on the topic of pete i think he’s a mod 50s enjoyer too…. just makes sense to me because new wave and mod have a lottt of overlap if you think hard enough about it and are as insane as i am as those two movements

ok that’s all i can think of. feel free 2 ask further about any of these i love to talk ✌️

[laf-outloud]

You don't have to post this if you don't want to but I just had some thoughts.

You know what kills me about this whole lawsuit issue? Jensen said after the show was done filming, after the finale aired, that he was proud of it with everyone involved and what they accomplished. Yet this injury obviously took place during filming and whatever his and Danneel's responsibilities as EP's might be in this scenario, whether they were present or not, you can't tell me they weren't told about the injury happening. Especially since their production company was involved. We know major studios like WB has insurance and of course there's workman's comp, but I can't imagine that a production company that puts in its own $ into said production wouldn't have something similar or at the very least be affected in some way. Meaning there is NO way he and Danneel didn't hear about this injury and the circumstances surrounding it.

And yet he still said he was proud of it, knowing this (even if he may not have known definitively that a lawsuit was coming at that time) had happened and how it happened. And that just...there's no words.

Sometimes I really wish I could just ask him "what are you doing, man?" Or even why he apparently feels the way he does about people working in shitty conditions like we saw with Rust and other stuff going on with The Winchesters, especially after encountering and experiencing some of these himself in his career. Like why was it so important for Led Zeppelin to be in the finale compared to hiring competent people who wouldn't put the cast and crew in jeopardy? Literally, for me, the past 2 and a half years, I just have so many questions for this guy, this being the latest round.

And this latest event definitely throws shade on Danneel proclaiming that she "protected" Meg on that Drama Queens podcast. I know it's not the same context but if she was supposedly paying that much close attention, there's no way she didn't know about the injury and it's circumstances, either.

Just shady all around. This honestly leaves me very disappointed in Jensen. Most people's experiences leave them with empathy. His appears to have done the opposite for him if this situation and his Rust remarks are anything to go by. The "little people" matter, too. And I really thought he had learned that through his career.

You make some really good points, so of course I'll post your ask!

I will say that regardless of some of the questionable hires and practices that the Ackles put into place, I'm sure there were still a lot of very hard-working people both in the cast and crew of TW. It's okay to be proud of the work they did. (Though, as a whole, there's very little to be proud of in the end result).

For as often as Jensen talks in cons about befriending the crew on SPN and other shows, his actions and words outside of cons prove he really doesn't think much of them. It makes it seem like he only befriends them to ensure that they make him look good, not because he actually cares.

As for what Danneel said on Drama Queens? I hadn't heard that, but I can imagine the only protection she offered Meg was from herself if Meg dared go after her man. We already know there wasn't any protection for Meg when she was forced to work while being incredibly sick.

[bowl-of-shortness]

For the young leaders AU 👀

"What did you just say to me?"

Sure! :)

This is a small one so bear with me here, anyways Eira go offfffffffff

An Ember

After a while of putting up with Ozymandias’s constant ridicule, Eira finally works up the nerve to say something after the king let’s a particular comment slip.

They were walking back from another training session in Mr. Rose’s class. Or, well, he was walking, Ozymandias was floating alongside him.

He was scowling, Eira was looking away from him.

Once they reached the quieter side of the school is when Ozymandias started in on his usual tangent.

“It was one singular punch! And you managed to screw it up somehow. You can’t even throw a damn punch right, what makes you think you can fight without me?”

“Leave me alone…”

“Yes, because that’s worked with me and with the countless others you let walk all over you.”

“I’m not in the mood. I already know what you’re going to say. I’m too weak, I’m too fragile, I’m too much of a doormat, too much this not enough that. Just save it, I’m already tired from class…”

He feels his wrist be yanked, and he’s spun around to face the man, whose now enraged.

“You have the audacity to speak to me that way you fool?! You will follow my guidance or you will get yourself murdered. And I wouldn’t so much have an issue with that if it wasn’t for the fact that you would merge with me!”

Eira yanks his wrist out of Ozymandias’s hand. He then turns around, and continues walking.

Ozymandias scoffs, “It’s no wonder you ran. You run from everything, just like this time. You probably even ran from your parents just because they said something you didn’t like. I hope they find you eventually.”

An image of a beaten and battered Eira, curled up in the corner of his room, shoots through his mind before disappearing as quickly as it came. Ozymandias is stunned into silence, not knowing where it came from.

“What did you just say to me?” He’s stopped walking.

Ozymandias stays silent as Eira turns around, a rage filled look on his face. He’d seen many negative emotions from the boy, embarrassment, fear, sadness, but never anger.

“You know nothing about how my parents treated me. You know nothing about how my life was before I ran.”

“. . .”

“But because I’m an actually decent person, unlike someone else I know, I’ll tell you, seeing as you apparently have the respect to not go digging through my memories. My parents only had me because they needed an heir to their stupid weapons company. Yes, I heard them say that, to my face. They permanently disabled me by fucking up my right leg, they beat me within an inch of my life any chance they could, and forced me into studying so debilitating and hard to do that I would pass out from exhaustion because they wouldn’t let me rest.”

“…I-“

“I don’t need your input. As you said, in your own damn words, I am in the same position that you and the others were in when they found out they were another incarnation. You’d think you’d have a little compassion to that. But no, you just are a sad pathetic excuse for a king who gets off on harassing a kid when you know nobody would believe him if he told anyone of the literal abuse you put him through.”

Ozymandias looks away.

“Leave. Me. Alone.”

Eira promptly begins blocking Ozymandias out of his mind after that. No emotional empathy between them, no memory sharing, nothing. He watches as Eira leaves, unable to discern where he plans to go.

It would be better if he didn’t follow him, that’s what he thought.

It would seem both of them have some thinking to do.

[thedevilslittlebottleofhotsauce]

top ten all time favorite fics

top ten all time favorite fics

Bury Your Sons Slade Wilson doesn't have a conscience. If he ever had one, he got rid of it years ago. But watching a man half his age cry every night from his nightmares is starting to get to him, waking up feelings he long ago put aside. Jason Todd and slade Wilson father son relationship this fic was so good it is my absolute favorite it is set in Arkham knight verse it healed my daddy issues I went into the new year reading this

2. Wait Patiently (For You To Devour Me) dream of the endless/ the Corinthian

'He knew what he was thanking the being for then. He knew why he was on his knees, hunched over and trembling, craning his neck to drink up the celestial form that befell him. He knew why his heart pumped the blood through his veins. He knew why he felt the warmth and saw the light and worshipped the beauty. It was all because of him. It was all for him.

“Who are you?” The figure leaned further over him in response, looming over him in a way that should have scared him, should’ve made him cower under his gaze, but only served to make his body shake in anticipation. The air seemed to swirl around the two, disturbed by the sudden movement, subtle particles of dust illuminated and sprawling. He swallowed thickly. The being smiled.

“I’m Dream,” He tested the word in his mouth, repeating it like a prayer on his lips, “And you, are my Corinthian.”' this one was written so beautifully.

3. Safe at Anchor Derek hale/ stiles stilinski

All hail Stiles, the Fixer of Wolves. this one is really sweet with some good old platonic cuddling till later its not. will need an account to read

4. Ashes, Ashes Derek hale/ stiles stlinlinski

The Sheriff gets a call at work - someone's tried to burn down his home with his son inside.

"I thought of you coming here, and finding me dead, of another burnt out husk of a body, something else fire has stolen from you, of you having nothing left to grasp but ashes," John can't even call that a whimper, it's clearly a whine as Derek's hands tighten against Stile's hips, as if his boy will shudder to dust at the mere mention of the possibility unless Derek's hands can hold him into one piece, "and that thought was worse than dying." this one definitely made me cry

5. that’s the art of getting by Remus lupin/ Sirius black

“What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry.

“Remus...” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.”

A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?” god I love it when Remus lupin is a wreak

6. Crooked Love Roman Sionis/ victor zsasz

Roman Sionis comes back to Gotham after eight years and struggles to establish a space for himself in his father's company.

Victor Zsasz sees a pretty face in a club and becomes infatuated.

(or: the untold backstory of Roman Sionis and his right hand man) i just love serial killers and victor zsasz

7. THE HUES IN OUR HAIR COMPLIMENT ONE ANOTHER.

"I have scars too." It's an offering, something small and fragile clasped in his palm. Bruce offers the hand holding the dangerous vulnerability of his life to Jason, waiting.

Jason turns to look at Bruce over his shoulder, and Bruce sees the moment understanding fills the boy's eyes. Sometimes Jason acts too old for his age, filled with empathy beyond his years.

He reaches out and accepts the small offering, holding it carefully in his own damaged hands.

(The first time Bruce washes his son's hair.) short sweet Bruce and Jason being father- son pre robin Jason

8. Laughter Lines Roy harper/ Jason Todd

Roy had fatherhood thrust upon him, and honestly, he's terrified. He doesn't know how to be a dad, he doesn't even know if he can be one. At least Roy doesn't have to do this alone- not as alone as he expected. Support from his friends brings the most unexpected bit of help Roy could have gotten-

Jason. Dick's kid brother who seems more than happy to spend every second he can with Roy and Lian. Who smiles when Roy laughs and looks genuinely happy when he's holding Lian. Who cares about Roy more than he should- and who Roy never wants to hurt.

And when he loses Jason, Roy is so sure he has. Sure he should have done something differently, somehow. So when a new face shows up in Gotham, and Roy gets wind of who he might be, he has no choice but to face the reality that Jason still needs him. That maybe he's got a second chance to do right by the kid he loved and simply couldn't. i just love me some Roy harper and Jason Todd

9. and you can use my skin castiel/ dean winchester

Castiel slips from his chair to kneel at Dean’s feet. He takes Dean’s hands in his, and there on the floor holding something with devotion, he understands Communion. He understands Eucharist. He understands believing in someone so deeply that to shelter a piece of them within yourself is an act of untempered faith, love and prayer and deep-wide trust.

*

Cas comes back. Dean can’t stop touching him. I had to at least put a destiel fic on here

10. Lock All The Doors Behind You Derek hale/ stiles stilinski

He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one. really cute and hilarious

honorable mention. The Corner of Divinity slade Wilson/ Jason Todd

He stared, heart in his throat. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. The heavy tang of blood was thick in the air and his feet felt like lead. He couldn’t move. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to. Whatever he’d expected to find, it wasn’t this.

Deathstroke’s lips twisted in a smirk. “I hoped you would show.”

“How could I resist?” Jason drawled, grateful his helmet hid his voice and for the scent blocking patches on his neck. “It was such an artfully worded invitation.” i had to through this one on here slade murders the joke for Jason hell yeah will need an account to read

[realityhop]

Rates of Depression in Women and Men

from On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (2023) by Elise Loehnen —

If you look at national statistics, it appears that sadness is a problem for women, that women are far more depressed than men. According to data from the National Institute of Mental Health, the prevalence of major depression in women was 10.5 percent in 2020, versus 6.2 percent for men. But this statistic offers a limited perspective. Women are more equipped for our sadness, though that doesn’t make us more sad. In I Don’t Want to Talk About It, perhaps the landmark book on male depression, therapist Terry Real asserts that the men in his practice are no less affected by depression; it just manifests differently. He argues that many men are struggling with undiagnosed “covert” depression, which is often paired with an addictive defense. After adding up all the mental illness stats—affective disorders, anxiety disorders, substance abuse disorders, and personality disorders—he found the totals evened out. While women officially overindexed on depression, men made up significant ground in substance abuse and personality disorders. This makes sense, as men are four times as likely to die of suicide and other deaths of despair.

Something feels wrong with the emotional health of men—look no further than the havoc they wreak on society. It is overwhelmingly men who rape, kill, and abuse—it’s men and boys who pick up semiautomatic guns and mow people down. The Bushmaster XM-15 E2S Shorty AK—advertised with the slogan “Consider your man card reissued”—is the gun a twenty-year-old used to slaughter twenty-six people, primarily first graders, at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012. A decade later, an eighteen-year-old mowed down twenty-one people in Uvalde with an AR-15 from Daniel Defense, a company that relies on machismo statements in its Instagram marketing like “Nobody has the right to tell me how to defend [my family]” and “Defending your nation, defending your home.” We are in a crisis of toxic masculinity, and we must address what’s happening to drive boys and men to murder children. It’s clear that men have a problem, and it puts us all at risk.

According to Real, there are good reasons men don’t acknowledge what’s happening inside of them. For one, there’s no cultural template for supporting depressed men. He cites the research of Constance Hammen and Stefanie Peters, who ran a study of college roommates across genders. They found that when women tell roommates they’re depressed, they’re met with nurturance and compassion; men, meanwhile, are met with social isolation and unkindness. We are not well equipped for supporting boys and men who feel otherwise when the social expectation is that they be stoic and strong. A second reason Real cites is the ways in which we acculturate our boys. As he explains, “Men do not have readily at hand the same level of insight into their emotional lives as women, because our culture works hard to dislocate them from those aspects of themselves. Men are less used to voicing emotional issues, because we teach them that it’s unmanly to do so. Even a cursory look at gender socialization in our culture indicates that a man would be far more likely to act out distress than to talk about it, while a woman would have the skills, the community, and the ease to discuss her problems.” This is adding insult to injury. We discourage our boys from developing the capacity to metabolize their emotions and then stereotype them as being less equipped. […]

Nancy Eisenberg of Arizona State University is one of the foremost researchers on prosocial behavior, empathy, and the development of morals. Many of her decades-long findings underline the disparity between how boys and girls are taught to process emotions by their parents: Mothers spend a lot more time talking to their daughters about feelings (including their own) than they do to their sons, and dads use harsher language with boys and discourage them from being vulnerable. They even found that moms are more expressive with baby girls than baby boys and talk to daughters about sadness and sons about anger. Parents, despite their professed and apparent sensitivities, still hold the prevailing cultural belief and bias that emotions and relational wisdom should be cultivated primarily in girls, that the language of feelings will serve boys badly or is not something they need. Terry Real believes that we’ve collectively subscribed to a myth that boys must be turned into men, that they can’t achieve manhood without initiation into the cult of masculinity. He observes this doesn’t happen for girls; he writes, “

[barrenclan]

I AM STARING SO INTENTLY RN!!!

GOOODDD THIS ISSUE WAS SO INTERESTING. how after the sisters were separated and plumstripe just stared at the wall, i wonder if she’s beginning to regret lashing out like that? or if it could have gone differently? it definitely didn’t seem like she planned to fight beeface, just a spur of the moment sorta deal that was caused by bee edging her on, which in turn was caused by her edging bee on.

also, the redpelt content??? i hadn’t really thought about her in the comic much but oh my god. she’s so gentle. i completely understand how she felt when the fighting happened, just completely freezing up and struggling to process what is happening because it was so sudden, too quick, too different from just a second ago- but i could just be seeing it differently than what was intended, haha. when she was rambling off to cootstorm i was begging for that old lady to comfort her in some way but i completely understand why she didn’t, that’s just not her personality. she’s a realist i think, focused on what has to be done and what has been done. she’s right, redpelt isn’t ready for leadership, and i somewhat doubt she’d ever be if she doesn’t get some kind of help, but it doesn’t seem therapy or anything exists in barrenclan that could help. it makes me wonder why mallowstar chose her as deputy when she wasn’t mentally or emotionally ready for those responsibilities weighing her down? may have found a new fav, oops

also!! cormorantpaw!! said bye first!! it wasn’t started by someone else saying bye, he did it!! he’s enjoying pinepaw’s company!!! probably not to a crush level or maybe not even a friend level, but still!!!!! he’s opening up in his own way!! gradually!!! whatever makes him feel comfortable and he’s not rushing!!!! i love him i hope he gets all of the healing he needs cus i just know this guy needs it. also he and pinepaw r listening x infodump i may have said this already i love them

i also just want to add that i loved the four apprentices doodle at the bottom of i think page 2? also the expressions of bee and plum after mallowstar split them up. ur expressions have always been so good, both here and TDS, and such a good inspiration and they always just add to the moment cus of how clearly u can see how they feel cus of it!!! just!!! yeah!! i never know how to end these haha

I'm glad you liked it eheh!!

Plumstripe definitely wasn't planning to attack Beeface, but her fighting ability insult hit a nerve. Plumstripe considers herself to be the best fighter in the Clan, and she's very proud of that.

I've been neglecting Redpelt too much, I really wanted to get some focus on her. Poor gal. I looked at some videos of cats fighting for reference in this issue; it happens so much faster than anything in Warriors makes it seem, which is true of most fights in general. And Redpelt isn't the kind of take-charge person to instinctively throw herself in the middle of a fight, she's too much of an overthinker. Mallowstar sees a lot of potential in her, and he really wants to help her come out of her shell and show her that she can take charge and use all her smarts and empathy! But Redpelt doesn't believe in herself too much. :( Cootstorm doesn't have a lot of sympathy for her worries, unfortunately.

YES Cormorantpaw saying bye first was really important to me!! It's not much but a little first step is huge for him, especially because the environment he grew up in was emotionally as well as physically dangerous. He had to be on guard a lot. Pinepaw wants to break through his walls, but he's willing to take it at a pace Cormorantpaw is comfortable with, and that means a lot to Cormorant (more than he really realizes!).

TYSM I'm really glad you like the art :D I love drawing silly faces, it's my favorite part. And thank you, as always, for leaving such long thoughtful comments about the issues! I look forward to seeing them pop into my askbox.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

Shake her hand.

JOYCE MESSIER - "I'm glad to see you here." Her grip is tight and cold. She seems relieved.

"I was dispatched to handle a strike, not a lynching. Anything I can do to assist the RCM in this matter, I will, gladly."

KIM KITSURAGI - "That is good to hear, madam." He opens his notebook. "My colleague will take the lead on this interview. I should let you know that he's recovering from an *unusual* medical episode -- *very* unusual -- but I can assure you of his ultimate competency."

JOYCE MESSIER - "How interesting." She turns to you, unfazed. "I wish you a swift recovery. In the meanwhile, you have my *full* cooperation. And the full cooperation of the Wild Pines Group."

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - It's hard to get a read on her precise disposition, but she *appears* helpful.

"You're on a boat."

"Tell me about Wild Pines. What do you do?"

"What can you tell me about this strike?"

"What can you tell me about this lynching?"

"Do you know something about these tattoos?" (Show her the photo.)

"You seem rich. Can I have some money?"

"Thank you. That's all for now." [Leave.]

JOYCE MESSIER - "Why, yes I am..." She looks at the deck under her feet. Green and white sails flutter overhead.

"Not a lot of people on boats, are there?"

"Does she have a name?"

"Do you have a license for this boat?"

"I think I have a handle on the boat thing." (Conclude.)

JOYCE MESSIER - "Of course there are." She looks around. "We are on an archipelago. How else are you supposed to get around?"

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - There is a pinch of *defensiveness* in her voice, but it is playful.

"Wait, we're on an *archipelago*?" (Look around.)

"What do you mean -- archipelago?"

JOYCE MESSIER - "Yes, we are." She raises her brow. "We are on Le Caillou."

"Uhm, Caillou? I thought we were in Revachol."

"Still, I haven't seen anyone else sail a boat around here."

"Understood. About this boat of yours... " (Back off.)

JOYCE MESSIER - "We are. And the city of Revachol is on the island of Le Caillou."

2. "Still, I haven't seen anyone else sail a boat around here."

JOYCE MESSIER - "I haven't seen anyone else drive a souped-up Coupris Kineema motor carriage either."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Actually," the lieutenant becomes defensive, "that motor carriage has been specially issued to serve as a patrol and *pursuit* vehicle."

"It's for crossing long distances in the Greater Revachol Industrial Harbour. It's not a toy."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Neither is this." The woman pats the cabin hardtop. "A toy, I mean. It's a machine for crossing long distances in the bay of Revachol. Between the city and the islands."

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - She's having a good time arguing against the law. Too good, perhaps?

2. "Does she have a name?"

JOYCE MESSIER - "The boat? No. *It* is called Cor-de-Leite '19 -- because that's the type of sloop it is."

INLAND EMPIRE [Medium: Success] - The word *it* feels strange. Such a beautiful boat deserves a proper name...

"Cool, but your boat really needs a name."

"Okay, but what *kind* of boat is it?"

"How do you like it?" (Conclude.)

JOYCE MESSIER - "It's a pleasure craft. A nineteen-pacer. It also happens to be rated for Category 1 racing. Though these days I mainly use it for business..."

"Cool, but your boat really needs a name."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Okay. How about Cor-de-Leite '19. Why?" She taps on the side of the boat, it makes a hollow sound....

"Because it was manufactured in Revachol East by a company called Cor-de-Leite, and it's hull is '19 paces long."

[seventeenlovesthree]

Digimon Adventure Relationship Analysis Part II: Opposites attract - or clash? Where Koushirou and Mimi work best (I), where they are not compatible with each other and where canon missed a lot of opportunities for them (II).

The first part of this analysis has focused on how Koumi complement each other and work out in the best case scenario. The following points will address where they don’t really work out well (either because of their personalities or due to inconsistency issues). By the end, I will also take a personal and very opinionated look on how I feel Tri especially could have handled them a bit differently.

Where they clash.

They have opposing priority and approach systems - and tend to be incredibly stubborn about it.

As much as their opposing personalities may have helped them to see things in a different light, there have been several set-backs for them to actually get there - or rather, not fall back into old behavioural patterns. Koushirou can definitely act when the situation requires it, but still does prefer to go through the entire PDCA cycle more rationally, planning, doing, checking, acting - whereas Mimi is more prone to skip the first three steps, using more emotionally based judgment. He focuses on rational problem solving, she focuses on the (emotional) effect the problems have on people. And that’s where things can get uncomfortable when neither of them is capable of backing off. (Mimi is a lot more forgiving when Sora displays the same thorough attitude, as she herself is also a planner, while Mimi follows her heart and intuition more frequently.)

So when Mimi finds Koushirou sitting in an old ruin to analyze data, refusing to leave the place, she gets overwhelmed and frustrated, running into a maze, gushing over how much it bothers her that he’s been ignoring and not considering her... She is making a very valid point about that it’s more important to look for the others instead of sitting around analyzing glyphs on a wall - Koushirou however argues that figuring this out might help them (and Mimi in particular!) longterm. So on one hand, he gets stuck in research mode for the sake of being helpful (in his own way), on the other, he disregards her approach, since it doesn’t seem feasible to him. He doesn’t understand Mimi’s self-preserving attitude, because it appears to him as if she’s acting without taking the circumstances into consideration. So Tentomon, who is keeping Mimi’s company, keeps explaining to her that his partner is actually a good guy who just gets lost in the things he is interested in, not meaning to be disregarding.

In this scenario, Koushirou does end up to be the knight in shining armor who does whatever it takes to save Mimi, showing her that he actually isn’t an ignorant jerk. This was when they were 10 years old - and while Koushirou has been getting overwhelmed by Mimi’s demeanour here, he’s definitely becoming much more assertive 6 years later, which is where the “getting more vocal with age” part - and the setbacks - come into play: In Tri, he straight up tells her that, while she acted out of good intentions, her approach to just go and fight Ogremon, causing innocent civilians to get hurt, was very selfish and that she should have followed his instructions instead. 

Sadly, that won’t be their last fight. In this, Koushirou is completely incapable of changing perspective and acknowledging her side of things due to the urgency of the situation (also note that none of the others, except Sora, tries to cut in between them or picks an obvious side). And since she’s exactly the same, they keep aggravating each other.

Once at odds, they have difficulties addressing them - Koushirou doesn’t acknowledge personal problems, Mimi deflects and they both struggle to admit that the other may have had a point (Tri only). 

As portrayed above, Tri likes to put the two of them on opposing ends, mind vs. heart, rational thought vs. empathy, in a very blatant manner. The problem here - and I will elaborate on this in the “missed opportunities” part - is that they don’t reconcile. At least not on screen. Koushirou, whenever confronted with a personal issue, deflects (”You seem rather lively, Jyou-san”) and Mimi, while being implied to understand Koushirou’s intentions, isn’t able to talk about it in front of him either. While it’s easy for her to address her general self-doubts in front of Jyou, she very much deflects as well when it comes to the argument with Koushirou. 

When Taichi explains to Meiko that Koushirou is investigating the infection issue with all of his heart (after he had been the one interrogating her tactlessly about Meicoomon while she was visibly stressed), Meiko says she feels like she should apologize to Koushirou. Mimi, however, interrupts Taichi, saying “she already knows!” - which can be easily read as her actually talking about herself as well there.

Different energy levels.

Despite the conflicts Tri puts them through, the second most famous interaction between them is probably during Diablomon Strikes Back; Mimi is traveling back from America to Japan to help the gang fight against their new-old enemy. When she arrives at Koushirou’s “office”, he’s the only one there - and while she’s super enthusiastic about being back, he’s already exhausted due to the whole (very stressful, very urgent) situation and his lack of reciprocated joy visibly annoys her. This is mainly played for comic relief, but definitely shows that there is a point to them having different energy levels that - as highlighted above several times - may make their arguments additionally difficult, when he cannot deal with her active dominance (extrovert) while she cannot deal with his passive overanalyzing (introvert).

Missed opportunities: the crush and how it was handled.

Koushirou’s contrasting behaviour - turning into “recycled” conflict.

One of the main problems in Tri is the way certain plot elements are being handled inconsistently - and, on a very personal note, it feels like they didn’t really seem to know how they wanted the relationship between Koushirou and Mimi to play out. Choosing to make him obviously crush on her in text shouldn’t be too surprising, since Koumi has quite a big fanbase and, based on the positive aspects mentioned above, it could have been a nice way to showcase how far they had come - from being at odds in their primary episode in 01 due to her differences, to Koushirou becoming more considerate of her emotions, to them praising and inspiring each other and communicating on a regular basis via electronic devices. It could have made sense to make the guy, who still tended to have his moments of ignorance towards her two years prior in Diablomon Strikes Back, realize that the girl he’s been in touch with for so long was not only a great friend who complements him nicely, but also potentially more than that. However, to some degree, it did feel like it was mainly played for comic relief reasons and not for the sake of it being intertwined in his/their character development. 

Like it was mentioned above, it’s always Mimi who is vocal about thinking that Koushirou is great - but we never really hear what he values about her, besides the praise in the PSP game (and the supportive attitude in the stageplay). Sure, he acknowledges in 01 that acting can be better in some cases - but that doesn’t mean anything if characters like Taichi and Sora also enable him to act or if he completely forgets this lesson he learned a few years later. Instead, Koushirou’s crush on her seems to be mainly based on her looks/cuteness, resulting in a lot of blushing, stammering and over-the-top-shots - and acting in ways he usually wouldn’t, whether it’s irrationally, or even somewhat obediently. She seems to be mildly aware of it - and doesn’t treat him any differently from before because of it, despite the moments of teasing. (Which is interesting, considering how non-canon-material like the Love Letter Drama poked fun at the idea of her thinking that he may be in love with her already, even though that was played for laughs and never confirmed to be true or false. In contrast, she seemed rather annoyed at the idea that the love letter he had written wasn’t for her, playing into the more popular fandom interpretation of her actually crushing on him, trying to get his attention and affection, just like in Diablomon Strikes Back. Her feelings for him in Tri are portrayed to be platonic - going so far as to outright making her state that she doesn’t have a crush on anybody in the stageplay).

Whenever things are not at stake, they are the friends they had already been previously, being on good terms. Nevertheless, between him not being able to function around her due to his crush - even though he had been mostly comfortable around her prior to Tri - and them being friends fighting Digimon alongside each other, the constant fighting with each other and lack of communication seems a bit jarring. Conflict is important and Koushirou being able to assert his opinion towards Mimi is also a good sign of him opening up - but every conflict has to have a proper resolution for the parties involved.

The “being rational vs. being emotional” conflict between them outlined above is the same thing we’ve seen since episode 10 of Adventure 01, this time dialed up to 11. And while this could have been a great opportunity for them to talk things out, probably even re-addressing and processing what had happened back then, they never do that - they don’t have heart-to-hearts on screen, they don’t address the issue, they don’t make up, they just let it fade out. 

When Koushirou tries to prevent the Digimon from getting infected, overworking himself, it’s him shouting at Mimi for not being focused enough and her shouting back about being inconsiderate towards Meiko. They’re both, once again, clearly overwhelmed with the situation and display the old arguments all over again. This time, Koushirou doesn’t stand up to tear a wall down - instead, he isolates himself and eventually tries to find a fix to see their partners again after the reboot. Mimi is seen coming to his office to clean up - but doing so silently. He doesn’t even seem to acknowledge her being there. Visibly, they’re unable to understand the other’s needs and cannot move towards each other - and it’s a shame, because Koushirou may have needed a wake-up-call at this point in time badly. In subtext, it does leave a lot of room for interpretation; maybe she is aware that she can’t stop him anyway because she knows how he is, maybe she doesn’t talk to him because she just understands where he’s coming from, maybe he did tell her on the phone how important all of it is to him. And maybe they did reconcile off screen - we don’t know, because their relationship development is not a focus in either his or her arc. It’s a minor side plot device.

In the end, it does feel like the writers wanted to play it safe, not confirming or denying any relationship happening that didn’t exist in the epilogue - this is obviously just speculation though.

How “fashion and identity” could have been their greatest bonding opportunity in Tri.

Referring back to him “acting in ways he usually wouldn’t”, the biggest missed opportunity in regards of their relationship is that they made fashion a huge plot point for both of them in the first and Tri second movie - and never did anything with it. He confirms that his mother used to pick the clothes for him and that he now wants to figure out his own style, creating an app to generate outfits for himself. So far, so good. Unfortunately, this results in a lot of “the nerd doesn’t know how to dress” trope moments, giving him hideous outfits throughout the first two movies. Takeru wonders where this sudden interest in fashion comes from and concludes that it’s because Koushirou wants to do it for Mimi - Koushirou doesn’t confirm or deny it, but blushes heavily, picks a yukata because she said so and turns up in a suit during the school festival once he knows she’s there. For someone whose initial plot point in 01 was that he wanted to know and accept himself for who he was, dealing with a lot of internal self-doubt, thinking that he hid himself behind his computer in order not to show his true self, figuring out his fashion sense by himself COULD have been a great development trigger for him - but it feels a bit more like he’s bending over backwards just to impress Mimi.

Mimi on the other hand deals with her classmates calling her self-centered because she decided on doing a date café for the school festival all by herself, making Meiko and Sora design a very revealing outfit the other girls don’t feel comfortable with. It’s where her own moment of self-reflection starts about her own stubborness and dominance - in front of Jyou, causing the both of them to have a wonderfully open, vulnerable bonding moment.

It could have been a great plot point to make Koushirou and Mimi interact as well, because they both tend to not see those around them - but it’s not utilized.

He asks her how she felt about his outfit at the school festival - she says it’s alright, when she just could easily have projected onto him. She could have told him that it didn’t matter what he wore as long as he himself felt comfortable with it, realizing that this was what she herself had been about all along. That impressing others and changing for their sake isn’t what either of them are about. (Maybe there could even have been a scene implying that Mimi and Sora were giving Koushirou general advice in finding his personal fashion sense, instead of him relying on an app to “tell him” what to do.) 

Additionally, he also could have been given a moment to reassure her in the same way Jyou did by telling her that she was fine the way she was, even if they would sometimes end up butting heads because of it again - maybe it would even have enabled both of them to find a compromise in the middle. Instead, they made him call her self-centered at a point as well, putting him in the same category as her classmates, without facing the issue at hand - that, after all this time, they both still are oddballs who are easily misunderstood by others and whose greatest strengths are coming out when they come together. 

It’s why their stageplay portrayal works so well - it’s not known if his crush on her exists in there or not, but it doesn’t matter because they still maintain a lot of things that make them great. Besides the mutual teasing - and the obviously still existing different energy levels, displaying Mimi as much more dominant than him -, they’re a good team. She makes him leave his laptop at home - which can be read as somewhat obedient behaviour, but it also shows that, while he’s still trying to approach the camp idea more rationally than her, he’s not stubbornly insisting on his own positions and is able to listen to her. (Even if not bringing stuff to camp like she suggested does cause trouble for the group, they eventually work together to find a solution - as they should.)

He can be very much an oblivious dork in there as much as she can be an overly-enthusiastic ditz - but they also seem to enjoy spending time at camp together, reading in the guidebook, doing dishes together, thinking about their futures out loud, worrying about and supporting each other and generally not minding physical closeness.

It’s also why Kizuna/To Sora almost feels like they just went from 02 to the stageplay and skipped over Tri to get to a point where they’re, once again, on good, mutually supportive and appreciative terms, helping each other out. Because that’s where their development would definitely have taken them naturally if they communicated properly.

[explainslowly]

Constructing a transmasc Dean Winchester

(misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, child abuse cw)

Ok, so a transmasc Dean is not my preferred interpretation of this character, but I started rotating it in my mind as a thought experiment, especially trying to see how Dean's fraught relationship to masculinity would work (because that's a foundational aspect of his character to me).

Dean has very strange ideas about gender and considering how many ideas he directly imports from John, I thought it best to start this thought process from their relationship:

I think John thinks of little girls and little boys differently - especially in the sense that he feels much more guilty about inflicting the Winchester kind of upbringing on a little girl. I see John as someone who spends a lot of his mental bandwidth justifying himself (instead of stopping) and one way to justify this to himself, and to ease the guilt, is that he degenders Dean in his mind: Dean's not a little girl, he's a kid. It helps that Dean is not particularly girly. John doesn't want to push against that, because it suits him. The other reason why he does not push against Dean's early gender presentation is that he thinks that's what happens when you raise girls 'wrong' - without a female role model and the good moral environment of a suburban home. He probably tells Dean this ever so often when he's drunk. Maybe he secretly thinks that once they kill the yellow-eyed demon, Dean will settle down, start wearing make-up, find a husband, etc.

Anyway, Dean is very butch (still looks pretty much like young Ackles, lol) and girls find him adorable. John kinda hates it, but they don't discuss it most of the time.

Dean is the kind of transmasc egg who is aggressive and obsessed with out-machoing men around him. He's reasonably good at it (since the masculine values of the hunting community are like... murder and drinking tolerance and Dean is a great shot). This does not exactly bring him the accolades he would expect, but he doesn't really know any other way to be bc of the kinda company John keeps. I think already he has a fraught tense attraction to *some* sort of femininity he doesn't understand and that feels forbidden to him. Since he doesn't really know fem men he can't properly put his finger on it, except for brief moments of recognition in Gay clubs and such and flashes of sympathy that he thinks are some sort of dyke-gay men solidarity.

Anyway. Once he comes out John is pretty accepting. Not in the sense that he feels empathy/sympathy with Dean, or that he like, goes googling Trans issues or pins a flag on his lapel, but more in the sense that he does not dispute it at all. OK, you're man? Fine, end of discussion.

In some sense, it is a relief for John. Turns out, after all, he did *not* inflict that childhood on a little girl. And Dean is so much simpler this way, because it's easier for John to relate to men. He is still a little worried it all happened because of the way Dean was brought up, and probably mentions it to Dean when drunk (not sure how much this is supported by the show, but I imagine John emotionally unburdens himself at Dean, when he can blame it on alcohol) but he is at peace with it, mostly.

And hey! Dean's quite a womanizer, eh? John should have known (this makes Dean feel sick for reasons he doesn't fully grasp at that point).

[unfoldingmoments]

Bailed Out

Just had a recent argument with a friend who bailed me out in last minute.

There was a guy who was having relationship problems with his girlfriend. He briefly mentioned the issue to me but didn't go into detail. After church, he said he needed to meet up with his friend first, while I had to pick up my sister and her baby according to their eating schedule.

In the end, he didn't update me and left me hanging, choosing to enjoy the company of his friends (more than one person, which I didn't expect). He mentioned that he rarely gets to see them every 3-4 months and they were also dealing with similar relationship issues, so they wanted to share and learn from each other.

He assumed that I wanted to spend more time with my sister than with him, but he knew about our plans beforehand and didn't object to them. So I thought it was okay with him.

Furthermore, he came up with another excuse, thinking that I wasn't interested in hanging out with his friend or going to the mall. He believed that I wouldn't want to listen to his problems and would only talk about my own issues, leaving him as the listener. He needed someone to listen to him and offer advice, but he never brought up this concern with me.

He refused to admit that he was wrong and instead said I wasn't flexible enough when he changed his plans. He also suggested that because I am single and older, I might not be the best person to discuss these issues with.

Our conversation became heated because both of us were focused on defending our own ideas of right and wrong, proper etiquette, and such. Despite considering me his best friend for the past three years, we've had many arguments along the way due to our differences.

From my perspective, based on the apology language test by Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The 5 Love Languages," my way of apologizing is to genuinely admit my wrongdoing and show repentance. I cannot accept lies.

I told him that I can be flexible in urgent matters, life or death situations, but otherwise, it's not nice to bail on plans. There shouldn't be discrimination when it comes to meeting people because if you prioritize meeting someone, it means you should be available at that time. Otherwise, chaos would ensue if people started discriminating against each other.

I felt unimportant and realized I might be wrong in this argument. He, on the other hand, felt entitled to treat me that way because of his feelings at the time. I told him that if I were the president, he wouldn't bail on me regardless of his feelings. He argued that friendship and government are different. I find this reasoning to be nonsense because if he can treat me this way, he could treat others the same. Being selective about who you prioritize is not cool.

That's what I disliked about his excuse, and I was the one who had to approach him multiple times until he finally explained his reasons. It's just an example of how most people are selfish and tend to hide or disappear when they are at fault. Not many people can admit their wrongdoings and instead look for excuses to gain empathy or avoid responsibility.

I would have been more understanding if he had told me about the situation beforehand, not after it had already happened. Yet, when I confronted him, he kept giving me endless excuses, making me feel like the bad guy. I don't think a gentleman should act this way, especially when he always preaches about his discipline and such.

Although some arguments aren't about winning or losing, making an effort to admit your mistakes is important if you truly care about the person. I know it's difficult to ask for forgiveness, especially from those who matter most in your life, like your family or life partner. However, we must understand that forgiveness is necessary if we want to move forward. We must also forgive those who wrong us because they might not fully grasp the impact of their actions. If we're wise and mature, we should accept the situation for now and take action if we can, but if we can't, let's leave it to God.

I hope we can become better communicators, be more forgiving, and have patience when dealing with life and the complexities of relationships. It's inevitable that life has its ups and downs.

Happy Monday, everyone! May the rest of your day be wonderful.

[twojackals]

Noise

What is "Toxic Positivity"?

Plainly, toxic positivity is a form of ignorance. A dangerous one. It's a situation in which people put their fingers in their ears, sing a little song, and purposefully slap a smile on their face, while literal chaos rages around them. Often, it is used to ignore the wants, needs, and rights of minorities: people of color, people with disabilities, minority religious groups, you know the drill.

Toxic positivity is a response to the suffering of others (or maybe even your own suffering) that is void of empathy or understanding through a kind of willful ignorance. Make no mistake, toxic positivity is real; however, it's a term that is greatly overused in all of the wrong scenarios.

What isn't "Toxic Positivity"?

The aim of civility.

The drive to build each other up, and the encouragement of others to do the same.

The criticism of tearing each other apart, typically for no reason aside from ego.

The interest in calm discussion on difficult subjects.

Social-criminalization of insulting each other.

Presuming positive intent first (even if you have to shift that outlook later).

Not reading between the lines.

Treating people as though they have human emotions (because they do).

Somehow, creating a baseline where people try to understand one another first, rather than attack each other, has become 'toxic'. Apparently we are incapable of affecting change unless we are vicious while doing it. We seem to have difficulty distinguishing between words of value, and just plain noise.

What is noise?

(n) a sound, especially one that is loud or unpleasant or that causes disturbance

Aside from that, noise is frequently mistaken for power and strength, but it is neither. In some cases, noise enables people to gain power and strength, but it is a false dichotomy at best, and it's less a gaining or winning of force, and more a concept of people 'giving in' to stop something incredibly unpleasant. That, in and of itself, can be a force for change -- depending on how you use it. As an example, being loud does help in some specific situations, but it's a destructive force more than a constructive one unless directed with care and, dare I say it, positive intentions.

Noise, without a positive purpose, is destruction. Picking people apart atom by atom for fun as a hobby really needs to be retired, looking purposefully for words a person has never actually said is a waste of energy, and feeding a constant amount of negativity into a population is a recipe for mental health issues, at best.

Fire hot.

It's OK to choose positivity, and it's OK to be calm, and it's OK to pick silence. It's OK to build each other up and support one another, especially in the face of the opposite. It's OK to know human beings are infallible, but still support their emotional balance all the same. It's OK to want, expect, and encourage 'better', even if some will always search for the ways to take us back to 'worse'.

And yes, positivity does sometimes involve turning your face away from from something that is actively on fire -- not out of ignorance, but out of necessity. You can't argue with a raging flame, you're only going to end

Random but interesting quotes on Noise:

"True merit, like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes." (EDWARD WOOD, 1ST EARL OF HALIFAX)

"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak." (MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE)

"We are in a world that is quite extremist and extremism makes more noise. Normality does not sell." (VICENTE DEL BOSQUE)

And my personal favorites come down to a tie:

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid." (Mark Twain)

"In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well." (Len Deighton)

That last one is definitely going on the company Slack tomorrow for my MX Office co-workers (they will love it).

I was writing a poem inspired by Noise but it's not finished yet. I hate getting 3 verses in and losing the inspiration... but it'll come. There are plenty of ongoing inspiration 'sources' to choose from after all.

[hirako5hinji]

[ UNPROMPTED | ALWAYS ACCEPTING ] 

@sphaeraa​​ asked:

It's been a while since he's lurked about. But here he is, and he's at least up to nothing mischievous. In fact, he's standing in obvious sight, so he's at least formally arrived.

"Have you been mopping about...? And is that why Hiyori asked me if she should be on 'a pill' for her mind?"

Though it's none of his real business, and he's been estranged as of late, he wants to know, because at the very least, they deserve happiness. His brows furrow a bit, and his eyes reflect concern. But he's trying to keep himself contained. He's not trying to trespass...

"I know I cannot wish away everything... but... I'd lend what I can to you, and her, in whatever ways that I could, including resolution... but I know that does no favors for you..."

          It is a surprise to see Hougyoku manifest before him. The surprise soon turns to bewilderment...and then a resigned, rueful sort of...gratefulness. Usually, it is Hougyoku who struggles when it comes to the comprehension of convoluted human emotion and tangled connections...but this time, it is him who is struggling like some dying animal caught in a trap, and Hougyoku, in an act of compassion, is extending...comfort? Or maybe the other just wants to have him put out of his misery like a sick dog. He is not certain what is compelling the entity...but either way, he appreciates the company all the same. 

               “ Moping ‘bout is a bit too much... ” He protests weakly, shaking his head. And did Hiyori really say that? His brow slowly creases. “ What pill for her mind? A doctor’s prescribin' her meds? ” What doctor? What meds? In hindsight, Hougyoku probably has no idea, either. Shinji scrubs a hand down his tired face, trying to tamp down this incessant restlessness but with little success. He tries again, and the words still stick to his throat. 

               “ I...well... If ya haven’t already figured it out, Hiyori and I are sortin’ some issues out. Separately. S’not somethin’ we can just will away, unfortunately. Tried. Didn’t work. ” His attempt at humor fell flat, but he isn’t really in the mood to be funny anyway. That fractured attempt at levity falls away, but he does not attempt to divert the topic, or fob off the Hougyoku’s tentative query with excuses or distractions. “ I s’pose...we’re learnin' how ‘ta become better lovers for each other. ” That’s the optimistic way of looking at it. It’s closer to the truth that this is their last ditch struggle to come together. Because the ways they love are so different. The ways they needed to be loved, are so different. And if it still does not work out, then-

          He really doesn’t wish to think about it.

               His wan expression grows subtly complicated, but he manages to squeeze out a faint, quiet smile at Hougyoku’s offer. The other’s empathy is well received. “ I appreciate you, Hougyoku. Really. I don’t need any special powers…but yer friendship is very much welcome. ” He lingers…and then continues softly, almost with pained difficulty. “ ...Thank you, if possible, please continue ‘ta be a good friend and support Hiyori too. I can’t be there for her now, so if ya can, please. ”