#and being worthy of respect and love

[whetstonefires]

You know, I've been thinking about it, and it is absolutely essential to the narrative that Jiang Cheng is a dick and a trash fire. (Affectionate.)

Like, first of all, if he was a sainted little angel of a shidi the way Jiang Yanli is a shijie, Wei Wuxian's choices would become obvious, sort of impersonal, and boring.

Sure, lots of people wouldn't tear themselves apart for such a person in such a scenario, but they're not the protagonists of novels, are they; in a book you have to justify not doing that. So white lotus Jiang Cheng is off the table.

Jiang Cheng who isn't fragile-and-insecure but also stubborn-as-hell and violently reactive also won't wash.

If he wasn't the kind of person who sincerely tries to die under these circumstances, Wei Wuxian would have had the option of loyally supporting him in a less self-destructive way; if he was someone who could be trusted to handle the revelation without suffering a ruinous fracture of identity, Wei Wuxian wouldn't have been forced to distance himself after the war, because he could have come clean.

If Jiang Cheng wasn't the kind of person who centers on his own pride and hurt feelings and lashes out about it, it would be very hard to set up the lategame scenario where they're 'enemies' in a real, meaningful way, despite still loving each other and Wei Wuxian never wishing Jiang Cheng any ill. Even with Jiang Yanli's death.

And I mean, you could get most of the plot without doing this interesting thematic examination of the classic 'bond between martial brothers severed by one going to the dark side' trope, but I'd argue you'd lose an enormous chunk of the story.

And without Jiang Cheng's weaknesses, Wei Wuxian's motives don't cohere. His weaknesses form the foundation of at least two of the backstory's major turning points.

There's the tantalizing possibility that Wei Wuxian wouldn't have done it, if Jiang Cheng hadn't strangled him while blaming him for everything.

Probably he would have, all else being equal! But neither we nor Jiang Cheng can be sure.

Jiang Cheng sucking a lot, and knowing his own flaws perfectly well without that granting him the ability to do much about them, is heavily load-bearing. Which gives him such a fantastic implied point of view!

[wifegideonnav]

yeah you say “cringe is dead” but do you still apologize about reblogging stuff related to your “cringy” interests? kill the mindset that you are somehow not included in that statement or we’re never actually going to change anything

[yuri-is-online]

I’ve been skimming through fluff fics lately, and a fun little realization popped up in my mind. It’s not often people talk about the downs in a potential relationship with the twst boys. For the sake of a more realistic perspective, I’ve got to ask. Who do you think is most likely to unintentionally hurt Yuu and why? - 🦐

Hello my shrimpy friend! So nice to hear from you, hope you're doing well. Fan fic in general isn't very focused on portraying the negative parts of a relationship because it's a form of escapism. People don't necessarily want to picture themselves in a bad spot in a relationship if they already are in one in real life, yk?

That being said making mistakes is part of any relationship so I do have some thoughts! They/them used for Yuu as always, this is angst so proceed with care.

Azul- he doesn't have the healthiest mental framework surrounding friendships, and you do need to be friends with your SO to have a solid relationship. An actual relationship with Yuu would probably have a bumpy start as you two try to feel out what the dynamic is actually supposed to be. Take it slow and everything will be fine, but there might be some hurt feelings along the way. And a lot of assumptions from other people about your relationship that don't help either of you.

LEONA- he's a rude ass bitch who doesn't have great manners I am so sorry to this man. To be fair though I think a lot of that rudeness would be something that would take place before the actual relationship, because I firmly believe if it's pointed out to Leona by his partner that he has communication issues he's more than willing to work on that with them. He would be a good boyfriend! It's just all the conversations up to the actual going out that's painful and might ruin what he wants before he actually gets it.

Riddle- so I don't think Riddle's treatment of Yuu is what might hurt them exactly, his issues as always have to do with his mother. He needs to figure out exactly how he wants to deal with his childhood trauma and his adult relationship with her, but that's going to take a lot of time and personal growth. Mrs. Rosehearts seems like the type to try and continue running her son's life after he graduates so I can't see her treating Riddle's partner well. Going no contact with an emotionally abusive parent is really hard for their children to do, Riddle needs love and support but the journey can be emotionally draining for the person giving that support.

Sebek- again with the family thing. His parents sound like wonderful people but his Grandfather seems to only like his grandchildren because they're half fae and still actively hates his son in law. I can't see him treating Yuu any better, which I could see being very draining since Sebek and his grandpa are very close. It could also be a chance for Baul to change a bit, which would be nice.

Cater and Idia- I'm making them share a spot because similarly to Leona I think the major hurts would be caused pre-relationship, but unlike him I don't see their communication issues as being something that would affect the relationship in the same way going forward. Cater has a lot of insecurities and can be a bit shallow, but he is a good friend so once he accepts Yuu as a safe space to speak openly and honestly I don't see them as having too many issues. Idia is also shown to be very open and honest with Ortho, his self hatred, temper, and inferiority/superiority complex just get in the way of him letting anyone else in.

In general, a lot of the twst guys have communication issues which is something people can work through, but would still cause some pain. Something to think about I suppose σ(￣、￣=)

[whentherewerebicycles]

nothing gives you insight into what parenting styles produce what types of kids like college essay coaching!! I feel like within 30 min of talking to a kid you can tell exactly what their parents chose to value/center in raising them… and you can also tell whether they’re going to have a rocky or reasonably smooth transition to adulthood as a result. if you were wondering the kids who are happiest and most secure in themselves tend to have parents who:

are warmly interested in their kid’s interests and engaged in their lives but give them LOTS of space/autonomy to explore those interests on their own and are in no hurry to rush in to “fix” things for their kid

communicate respect for their child and trust in their child’s ability to make good decisions and handle their own shit responsibly. it’s kinda wild how much pride kids take in their parents trusting them!! maybe you the parent don’t always get to see that (I assume that even teenagers who have good relationships with their parents are still teenagers lol) but as an outside person working with your kid, it is so so obvious that kids know when their parents trust them and derive a lot of self-esteem from being worthy of that trust. it is also painfully obvious when the parent can’t let go or trust their kid, so the kid internalizes a strong sense of “they expect me to fail/fuck up and they are just waiting for it to happen.”

encourage kids to try lots of different things and to derive fulfillment from the experience of doing things instead of external awards

treat and speak about others with empathy and respect. the kindest kids are the most secure kids and the most secure kids are the kindest. let your kids see you consistently interact lovingly and generously with others!! if they hear you constantly critiquing, tearing down, nitpicking, complaining, etc they seem to internalize an uneasy, insecure sense that this is how others must perceive them and they become soooo much more closed-off, guarded, risk-averse, unsure of themselves, and vulnerable to shaming or being shamed

set high standards for their kids in terms of doing well in school and committing to their activities, but make it very clear that these things are not a “means to an end” (get good grades to get into a good college) but are about learning how to work hard, persevere through difficulties, honor the commitments you’ve made to others, and develop a strong, grounded sense of self-esteem. honestly the kindest thing you can do for your teenager is to make it super clear that it does not matter where they go to college because you are so warmly confident in their ability to thrive wherever they end up

model having warm, loving relationships as an adult with friends and extended family. just in general the happiest kids are the kids who are surrounded by people who love them, listen to them, and are invested in their well-being!! the kids who, when you ask them to tell you about their closest relationships, spontaneously talk about people who aren’t just their immediate family but also their aunts and uncles, grandparents, family friends, beloved teachers or coaches, etc

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

not me typing a whole rant about some catholics being insufferably smug about their "better looking churches" while ignoring the history behind the barebone austerity of protestant churches and then deleting it all because my seething anger isn't christ-like either

*gnaws on wood* God help me love your children even when they are absolute prigs

[bluerose5]

Yes, yes, the Warden and the Inquisitor can be called kadan by their respective Qunari companions, but are they basalit-an though?!

[justafriend-ql]

Are you longing for someone? NEVER LET ME GO Episode 12

[monkee-mobile]

Do you think Davybaby ever regressed before meeting/joining the Monkees? Either in England or after moving to America

And if so how do you think he dealt with it?

I feel like he did but to a different level. he probably never really OFFICIALLY regressed and was really of seen as a little one during it until he came to the states, but when he was particularly stressed out while still in england he’d often go into a kind of weak state if his defenses were really down, he just didn’t process it through really regressing like he would later on. in england, he’d try his absolute hardest not to have that happen. he’d just feel really small and vulnerable and had no one there to protect him or help him through it except his sisters, but they didn’t jump right to babying him, they’d more just help him through the panic attack part of it all. usually he’d just lock himself in his room if he couldn’t brave through it and curl in on himself and sob until he fell asleep (poor thing). he’d often start sucking his thumb, but he just took that as a “weak” behavior that was just coming back from his childhood. He’d also often go pretty nonverbal for a while afterwards but he’d push through it all and move on (which definitely wasn’t the best for him, but it got him through that time. poor little guy didn’t face his own emotions at all). this kind of shutdown didn’t happen all that often cause davy worked hard to build a tough shell and braved it through all the way to when he moved to america and got out of the pressures of his family.

the move really did break him down because suddenly he was alone in a strange country so when the boys first met him he was definitely flighty and not the suave kind of guy he got to be once he became more comfortable, but they were all new to each other so davy didn’t really have a chance to feel super safe to just let himself feel things so he kept up the hard exterior he had built at first. but of course the monkees became very comfortable with each other and basically climb all over each other at all moments so davy started going “feral toddler mode” a lot where he would just go all silly and giggly and playful, so his comfort came through in a relatively childlike way, but he didn’t panic regress until a while after the guys were a group.

but eventually it happens and davy breaks down really hard at some point. it’s the boys who really start babying him when it happens. in the past he didn’t have anyone to really take care of him but things kind of clicked when he was held and talked to softly and he just sunk into the love that was given to him and it helped him process everything anew.

[calamitys-child]

Hornyposting in tags skip if u dont wanna see

[ichigosoju]

🍓

[loregoddess]

saw the first volume of Cursed Princess Club in the store last Sunday as I was walking by the manga section, and the name was so unusual that I looked it up online when I got home, and found out it was on webtoons to read for free, and just finished it, and holy shit

literally one of the best stories I've ever read

[mars-ipan]

"deradicalization is best achieved through kindness and acceptance because many radicals feel alienated for one reason or another" and "someone who is hurt by radical beliefs has zero obligation to be kind to someone who holds those beliefs" are two facts that can and should coexist btw

[missriyochuchi]

The way Helgait was explaining how droid labor was keeping the planet running and its citizens free not to work, I was like, “Those droids aren’t malfunctioning, they’re rebelling lol” Then the droid bartender was like, “This is the only place where we can have a second chance. You humans have such short lives. We want to help,” and my heart cried? You’ve heard of clone rights, get ready for droid rights, baby!

[transfemzedaph]

uhhh talk to me about smallzedbeef? :D

🪱

they are all so insufferable once they get together and joel brags to anyone who will listen abt the fact that he has two whole partners and they only have one (he mostly does this to jimmy. jimmy kinda thinks its cute that joel is so happy and ofc takes the teasing. then he goes to complain to tango, who complains to jimmy abt zed also)

zed is like so fucking sappy abt it all and makes weird little usless machines and contraptions as gifts (joel fucking loves them bc theyre great to stim with and beef just loves to reccive gifts bc love langauge)

beef doesnt really talk about it much (except with the nho, they know more than literally anyone else on the server but hey, theyre not gonna tell anyone) but hes happier than hes been in a while, and he feels a lot less lonely now, the other two coming by to visit him often, even though hes far away from everything and everyone else

[anarchocasism]

another succession opinion. i love kendall’s character because hes a hilarious and well made representation of a real type of guy but this is why i also cannot understand the poor little meow meowification of him. i love kendall’s character bc i love watching him suffer and floundering and lose. hes my marie antoinette. the show should end with him (and the others, but the most important one to me is him) being beheaded by minimum wage waystar employees.

[bbqhooligan]

i get trans men being filed in as Man (derogatory) by other queer people i do it to myself