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exciting · 3 years

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As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book.

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time.

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel.

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that).

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations.

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected.

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend.

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus).

#the number of these which I hate with a passion now #fuck my life #HATE SJM #MAD about grishaverse #ASHAMED of bridgerton and the feminism leeched from my soul after reading this

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divineology · 4 years

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♥ SOULMATE PICK A CARD ♥

Welcome to divineology’s pick a card predictions! I asked four questions: who is your soulmate, when/how will you meet, what will your relationship be like, and what will be the end result? I got some pretty clear messages for you, including an affirmation, song, and important numbers to look out for. Pick a lovers card intuitively and then keep reading to see who your soulmate is! I also offer affordable personal readings. If you would like to book a private reading with me, feel free to send me a DM.

♥ PILE 1 -

AFFIRMATION: I know what I want in a relationship and why I want it.

SOULMATE: The Emperor

MEETING: King of Pentacles

RELATIONSHIP: Queen of Pentacles

ENDING: Nine of Pentacles

Your soulmate is a very powerful person, they are financially stable and grounded. They know who they are and what they want in life, and if you want to come into alignment with them then you need to take on a similar attitude. They are loyal and protective, but not in a controlling way because they are good-natured. They could be Capricorn, Aries, Taurus, Aquarius, Cancer, or Virgo (or have these placements in their chart). They are financially abundant because they are goal-oriented and focus heavily on their career, making them triumphant. The Aries energy indicates that they could be quite athletic, they keep their body and health in good shape and are extremely confident. Their shadow side may be that they are not good at expressing their emotions or keep themselves guarded until they feel safe.

You will meet them at a time in your life when you are exuding a similar energy, when you are stable in your career/finances. You may be walking away from an old career/relationship that didn’t serve you and starting fresh. You will meet them through your job when you are working on a new project or enterprise. This is an extremely mature energy, so if you are still young then you may not meet them until later in life. This person will not come in until you match their energy and have your life together.

Since we have both the King and Queen of Pentacles, this indicates divine counterparts. You will both be on the same level of emotional maturity as well as financial stability. Your relationship will be quite mature as well, they will push you to achieve great things. They see your visions and encourage you in your projects. This person will give you a lot of freedom to do your own thing, but you will still feel a sense of security with them. They are very generous so they could bring you a lot of abundance in your life, just make sure you have something to offer too! This person believe in give-and-take. Their love language may be gift-giving.

You two seem to have a happy ending with the Nine of Pentacles! You will feel safe to open up with this person and share your life with them. The only potential problem that could arise is keeping secrets or withholding feelings, but you both should be mature enough to overcome this. As long as neither of you repress your feelings for each other, this relationship will be a success. Marriage or long-term commitment is a strong possibility.

NUMBERS: 3, 4, 7

SONG: invisible string - Taylor Swift

♥ PILE 2 -

AFFIRMATION: Choosing to live freely will lead me to expansion.

SOULMATE: King of Pentacles

MEETING: The Fool

RELATIONSHIP: Three of Swords

ENDING: Knight of Wands

Your soulmate is courageous, intelligent, and business oriented. They are very much a left-brained person and are good at mathematics/economics so they may pursue a career in that. They are likely a Virgo, Sagittarius, Libra, or Gemini (or have these placements in their chart). They are particularly good at multitasking and taking on multiple things at once, they are also good at giving/receiving advice. While they are business oriented, they are not an entirely serious person and they have a good sense of humor. They know how to have fun and have a positive attitude towards life. Their shadow side could be biting off more than they can chew and losing balance, or not having a set plan of action.

You will meet this person in a time in your life when you are actively searching for a partner or a new beginning. You will be embracing your child-like nature and you may neglect your responsibilities for a little while because you want to have fun. Try not to be too careless! You will be more outgoing and attending more social events, that is where you will meet this person.

This relationship will be fast-moving, but something (a third party) may get in the way causing delays. This person may already be in a relationship when you meet them, but they will have developed extremely strong feelings for you. Ultimately, they will break someone’s heart and run away with you.

In the end, you will travel a lot with this person, you will go somewhere far away from home, possibly overseas. You may change residence and live in a completely different country with this person. You will have a lot of adventures together and the energy is very spontaneous. However, having a plan of action is beneficial if you want this to last long-term. This energy seems very youthful and fun, enjoy it!

NUMBERS: 2, 8, 1

SONG: I’m Like A Bird - Nelly Furtado

♥ PILE 3 -

AFFIRMATION: Every relationship I establish is Eternal.

SOULMATE: The Hierophant

MEETING: The Hermit reversed

RELATIONSHIP: Two of Swords reversed

ENDING: The Tower

Your soulmate is indicated by the Hierophant, so they may be very religious or spiritual. They value education and may be currently studying to get a higher degree of learning (or already have their degree). They may pursue a career in teaching or be a professor at a university. They could be a Taurus, Capricorn, Leo, Aquarius or Scorpio (or have these placements in their chart). This is a person with a plan, they know what they want in life and have a set strategy to get it. They are assertive and competitive. Their shadow side may be that they actually enjoy arguing (yes, people like this exist) and when they are bored they could stir up conflict or challenge people.

You will meet them at a time in your life when you are shut off from the world and may have given up trying to find love or “the one.” You may be struggling mentally during this time and not doing so well financially/academically. You won’t feel like seeing anyone at this time, and when you do go outside you will be dressing down as to not draw any attention to yourself. However, the opposite will happen as this person will see your closed-off nature and want to have a bit of fun with you. Imagine your heart has a lock on it but this person has the key. This person may pursue you in a way that may irritate or annoy you, they could poke fun at you and challenge you. However, this is just their way of getting you to open up because they see how closed off you are.

In the beginning of your relationship, you may get into arguments and misunderstandings, but just know that they mean well. This person was put into your life to get you to open up and express your emotions. They will help you change your perspective of love and show you the more light-hearted side of yourself. Unlike others who have misunderstood you, this person will see you for who you truly are. They may play with you and poke fun at you, but you will learn to love their mischievous nature. More and more, you will come out of your shell and you will start to enjoy having fun with this person. They will teach you important lessons and you will learn to appreciate life more.

The end result of this connection is the Tower. This person will trigger past memories and traumas, helping you understand yourself. This may be a past life relationship or someone you are karmically bound to. The foundations of what you knew will be deconstructed and this person will shake up your whole life! However, with deconstruction comes rebuilding. I see you and this person building a solid foundation together from the ground up. You will be learning to love and trust.

NUMBERS: 1, 2, 3, 4, infinity.

Song: I’m with You - Avril Lavigne

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muffintonic · 4 years

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MY CATU LIVEBLOG

I did it for the crossover, so I thought i’d do it for the new movie (Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe, for those unaware of the acronym)!

TLDR: 8/10 not canon, but surprisingly good nevertheless.

Good: character interactions, dialogue (hilarious), everyone was involved, nice use of Chekhov's guns, absolutely EPIC background music

Bad: off-model issues, animation kind of flash-esque at times, the color palette was more like MML than PnF (more saturated and oddly shaded with clashing colors), overly long gags/pacing problems, immersion-breaking/stereotypical sound effects sometimes, some OOC

Ahh, i've missed Candace's singing.

WAIT A SECOND, WHY DOES HER CHARACTER MODEL LOOK SO MEATY (her head shape is blobby, too)

Oh my god, the entire Hirano family a minute in....i'm living.

Hmmm, the pyramid sports thing was from "Thanks But No Thanks," which is a Season 4 episode. In that episode, Vanessa is dating Monty, which only happened after "Minor Monogram" in Season 3. We know that Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension takes place in July after "Candace Loses Her Head" (since Doof's Drill-inator from that episode is scene in ATSD), but also before or around "Great Balls of Water" (since it's July in that episode) and definitely before "This is Your Backstory" (2D!Doof's advice to Doof is referenced)/"Road to Danville" (Phineas' trust gesture is referenced)/"Fly on the Wall" (the summer song gets referenced). LONG STORY SHORT: if ATSD took place in July, when the fridge does CATU take place if we're considering it canon?

Seriously, her off-modelness is super distracting to me. It was fine that she essentially had a triangle silhouette because she also had stick limbs, but giving her realistically meaty limbs makes me question why the rest of her is shaped like that. Bad.

That is some EPIC opening music!

Okay, the weird shading on that clown is also super distracting. PnF's design aesthetic is light and bright....I wonder if the MML people worked on this movie or something (which would also explain Candace's odd meatiness).

Why are all the lines so thick????? It looks like one of those low-budget toonboom or whatever animations Disney posts to YouTube.

Hmmmmm, Doof did the "evenly matched" thing in "Doofapus," too.

OH MY GOD, THE SATURATED COLORS + DARKNESS + THICK LINES ARE SOOOOOOOOO UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Bwahahahahaha, that pause when Candace is like "Actually, yes, WTF is it now?" is hilarious.

I like the detail of how all the kids' bikes are lying there in the driveway.

I would've just grabbed Linda's head and turned it at that point, honestly.

Linda is telling Candace calmly that she's exhausted...WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE?!!!!

Candace learns by "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" that she can take a break from busting to the betterment of her mental health sometimes....and that's a Season 3 episode. WHEN. DOES. THIS. MOVIE. TAKE. PLACE.

Ahh, i've missed Baljeet and Buford's banter. #oldmarriedcouple

Phineas is like "Candace wasn't having fun this summer? D:" but, like, if this movie takes place in the middle....they sure as heck didn't acknowledge it for the entire rest of the summer. HRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T JUST RETROACTIVELY INSERT EVENTS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SERIES: WE KNOW HOW THE REST OF THE SUMMER/THEIR LIVES TURNED OUT.

Why is Perry's wrist communicator a square. It's a circle throughout the entire series.

Does Vanessa have a scooter license? Do you need a license to ride a scooter? She was complaining in "Vanessassary Roughness" that she was always riding on the back of Doof's scooter, so I assumed she didn't. We did learn in "Finding Mary McGuffin" that she knows how to drive/has her license in "This is Your Backstory," does that count?

WAIT, WHY IS VANESSA SO PINK???? SHE AND DOOF ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A DIFFERENT SHADE OF WHITE (more coffee-toned) FROM THE FLYNN-FLETCHERS. Goddang, I had always appreciated how even the white characters were all different shades from each other in PnF....what a letdown.

Mmmm, characters either willingly engage in diegetic music in this show ("Where's Pinky?"), or it's just an imagine spot/non-diegetic. "Why do I have a guitar?" is not something that should be said.

Hmmmmmmmm, Candace is faulting the universe.......in ATSD she's talking about the Mysterious Force.....HMMMMMMMMM.....

Sounds like that was what Vanessa used to stop her Evil Busting phase...nice. Also, i'm only ~7 minutes into this movie, but i've spent the last 30 minutes watching it.

Hey, astute observation! That's what I always say: Candace wants to bust her brothers both because their projects can get dangerous ("Happy Birthday Isabella"/"Picture This"/"The Great Indoors"/ATSD/etc), and because she feels overshadowed by them/that they can get away with more than her ("Gi-Ants"/"For Your Ice Only"/"Love at First Byte")!

OH MY GOD, SHE ACTUALLY SAID "...completely overshadowed by Phineas and Ferb?" HOLY VALIDATION BATMAN

Man, i've said it before about Vanessa's deconstruction of Doof's motivations in "Last Day of Summer," but she would make a great therapist or something. I hope she goes into Psychology in the future.

HMmmm, I do kind of wish it was with Stacy that she had this breakthrough with, considering how Stacy's been her best friend since they were 5 years old ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer")/she's only known Vanessa since "Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs to You!" somewhere in June. Like, I get that Vanessa is more in-tune with psychological stuff like this and it makes sense, but i’m just a Stacy fan at heart

Oooh, she's even saying "breakthrough" and "healing!"

UGLY SHADING/SATURATION YET AGAIN (did I mention that the D.E.I. scooter is also the wrong color from how we've seen it before? because it is)

Bwuh, "What Do it Do?" all over again.

Okay, seriously, it looks like the giant thing is floating...where's the shadow under it?? THERE IS NONE.

BRO, THERE HAD BETTER BE MORE STACY IN THIS MOVIE. DON'T TELL ME SHE JUST GETS A CAMEO AT THE BEGINNING.

What did they make her? I want to know!

Ooooh, Candace's hands are way too small in that window shot. The off-modelness is so distracting.

AUGH, PHINEAS HAS A BABY HAND, TOO.

Haha, I love it when debris falls in with Perry when he goes to his lair.

Bwahaha, he's so done with Monogram

They use landlines ("Sipping with the Enemy") and physical files...don't try to tell me that PnF takes place later than 2012 I won't hear it.

NICE FILE PHOTO, CANDY

Wait, they have a whole alert-protocol thing about a host family member getting kidnapped by aliens, but it says to send the assigned agent on the mission??? In "Undercover Carl" and "Bullseye!" Monogram specifically didn't want Perry to get involved (in ATSD Perry was acting on his own), so ????????? Is it because he's their best agent or what?????

Some stuff is missing from Phineas and Ferb's room (on the walls).

GALACTIC WEB???? My first thought was the Galactic Kids Next Door

Haha, oh, these kids. Love little moments like these.

Why do characters always play with a ball when in jail/trapped? 2D!Candace did it in ATSD, too.

Why is that CGI so conspicuous. PnF used CGI sometimes, and it didn't look like butt. We're in 2020, people.

BWAHAHA, Vanessa!!

Ooh, they're bringing back Space Adventure! Now, we know that after "Not Phineas and Ferb" in Season 2 they say they're over it, but also that 9 episodes later in "Nerds of a Feather," Phineas and Ferb go to a convention/dress up from it. WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE.

Hmmm, cutaway gags like I remember MML doing...still too Family Guy for my tastes, especially with it being overly long. (I'm also not pleased with how Baljeet's half-lidded eyes goes straight across instead of bending over the curvature of his eye like what PnF usually does....the straight thing is also Family Guy/South Park's style. This does not bode well.)

WHOA, OFF-MODEL BALJEET ALERT!!!!! WHY IS HE SHORTER THAN PHINEAS AND WHY IS HIS ARM BENDING LIKE THAT!!!!

Bruh, Phineas thinking it's dangerous and not asking his friends to go seems OOC. Where was this attitude in "Meapless to Seattle?" In "Night of the Living Pharmacists?" In ANY OTHER dangerous scenario?

I do like how the kids are getting to go with them this time after missing out on ATSD.

NORM?!!!!!!!!!!!

PBBBFFFT, WHY DO YOU THINK GIVING THEM BUFORD WOULD APPEASE THEM

Hey, yeah, they've never made mistakes like this! What's going on?

Okay, seriously, in ATSD and NOTLP the kids don't know who Doof is. WHEN. MOVIE. Also, Doof's lab interior does have the correct items in it, but they're colored + shaded weirdly.

DOOF IS A VIRGO?!! Okay, that tracks with him being incompatible with Sagittarius people from "Love at First Byte."

Mmmm, the animation is definitely more on the "low budget YouTube shorts" level. The way Doof moves....

Yeah, gotta stick to your brand, bwaha!

OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS NOT THE SAME CHICKEN-REPLACE INATOR FROM "What a Croc!" GET THE GODDANG COLORS RIGHT JEEZ DID THESE PEOPLE NOT LOOK AT A SINGLE MODEL SHEET BEFORE MAKING THIS MOVIE

Bwahahahahahahaha, I missed Buford and Isabella's banter (and Buford is right: they might need a canoe...or maybe that's just my over-preparedness talking)!

Again: "Undercover Carl"/"Bullseye!"

Ah, Buford.

Wait a second, they didn't even have an introduction scene between Doof and the kids like they did in ATSD. *insert thinking emoji here*

Meh, D.E.I.'s been blown up worse before (the "Ask a Foolish Question" time comes to mind)

DOOF YOU ARE THE ADULT SUPERVISION!!!! GAH!!

Wait, what are you talking about Candace? I don't remember a voice automated translator being a thing in the Flynn-Fletcher household. If this is a crack at Alexa/Google Home or whatever, THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN SHOWN TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE IN ALL OF THE EPISODES OF PNF

They could have done a fireman slide, I guess...though maybe the friction would've made that a bad idea.

Okay, is everyone going to get mind-wiped at the end of this or what? Candace didn't even know Vanessa's last name or where she lived in "It's No Picnic," and they definitely didn't seem friendly enough in NOTLP considering all of these interactions. I'm going to count up all the "WHEN MOVIE" comments i've made by the end of this liveblog, and if it's 10+ i'm just going to say the movie is non-canon/just an OVA. I am enjoying it more than the MML crossover so far, so that's good, though.

Haha, oh, Candace. See, this is why she and Stacy are BFFs: same braincell (AKA Stacy's "Elementary My Dear Stacy"/"Put That Putter Away" moments).

OH, CANDACE. XD

OH, SNAP!!!

Ugh, okay, the "WHEN MOVIE" doesn't even matter anymore. Officially non-canon due to irreconcilable timeline a la MML post-2016 reference.

Yay, Isabella showing off her skills again! People tend to forget that she's also smart.

Go, Perry!!

Oh my god, the "unsung hero" being technically sung....good stuff

Oh my god, Perry, nooooo!! Someone save him!

Wait, did Doof purposefully put that platypus-sized spacesuit on the ship for Perry?!! Awwwwwwwww!!

HAHA, BUFORD

Oh my god, Vanessa, noooo!!! D: I bet the pods were sent back to where they came from/Vanessa should've been in the Earth pod.

Goddang, good thing that planet's got breathable air (not that that ever really gets addressed in PnF, haha).

Ah, okay, it took her to the planet the aliens are from. Weird.

Wait, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, these aliens are weirdly humanoid!! What!! PnF was so good about that ("Out to Lauch"/"The Chronicles of Meap"/"Escape from Phineas Tower"/"Sci-Fi Pie Fly")!!

So they were sending out pods looking for a leader? Weird. Also, they already had Candace be the leader in "Gi-Ants"/"Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)."

Wait, they're doing show-tunes, and pretty much only people who are Evil in PnF do that ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer"/"The Klimpaloon Ultimatum"/most of Doof's songs). I bet they're going to sacrifice her because of a prophecy or something.

Okay, -1000 points for the Floss. I hate it so much. You know what you'd be flossing if you did that with real rope? POOP. GROSS. Bring back Baljeet dabbing if you're going to make a reference like that, dabbing is fun.

Okay, this song is officially going on for too long. I know the overly long gag thing is a Family Guy staple, too. U G H, leave that horribleness out of my wholesome cartoons, please. Goddang, the influence was even in WBB's movie, too (Panda's dead pose). The Horribleness Lovers are infiltrating the animation industry. (How do I know about the Horribleness if I don't watch Family Guy/South Park? From people making infoposts about how horrible they are + reading up on their wikias/watching YouTube analyses of them, of course. Knowledge is power, and you must know your enemy.)

Seriously, open the freaking door. All of these overly long gags are not only unfunny, they eat up the runtime. PnF has great pacing where it's not too fast (Wander Over Yonder was sometimes too fast), but spends enough time on the things that need it. Opening a door is not something that needs time, especially when it's following up an overly long song.

I bet they're going to extract the element from her or something.

I'M PARANOID, TOO

Wait, this lady (I didn't catch her name) seems to be their leader?? Is she abdicating?

So the aliens have a gender binary, too? Is that necessary? Would that be necessary?

Hmm, I know that Doof didn't realize how futile rotating the moon was in "The Doof Side of the Moon" and what a boat was in "Are You My Mummy?" but he tends to be smart about intricate science stuff. Like, the problem with his inators (he even says it himself in "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer") is that he executes them poorly, not that he's failing in other aspects. Like, is this is the same scientist that built a Re-Good inator solely from plane parts in "Where's Perry?"

That cutaway was not necessary.

BALJEET, NO. Also, is it in character for him to be so gung-ho about trying out this unprecedented maneuver? I know he does have a wild side, but it's not usually about science things/throwing things that require this much caution to the wind.

Wouldn't they pass out from the G-forces or whatever?

Wait, what was the point of that alien mammoth getting flung? I mean, I figured that was going to happen to their ship by the way it landed on the mushroom.

Haha, oh, Doof.

XDDDD Buford had better save the day, since he's the only one that doesn't register the ominous tone. If he doesn't that'd be such a waste of the gag.

Haha, Buford. Still my favorite kid. :')

Okay, I seriously can't hear anything this alien leader lady says. It's like she's whispering all her lines with a hoarse throat or half-mumbling parts of her sentences or something. I have my volume turned up, and it's not helping.

Gross. WAIT, ISN'T THAT LIKE WHAT THE CITIZENS OF THE CANDY KINGDOM DO FROM ADVENTURE TIME?

Wait, do they have a farming culture? They were doing something in a field right now.

Hmm, yeah, lots of non-humanoid alien species on this planet alone....did they NEED to make the kidnapper ones so humanoid?

Doof, you even said that there was no adult supervision earlier. XD Isabella's definitely more qualified to lead, considering she's a Fireside Girl Troop leader/her vast array of badges compared to Doof absolutely ruining the Tri-State Area in "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" and not knowing what leadership entails in "The Beak"/"Last Day of Summer."

Haha, yeah, see! Whip out those badges.

HAHAHAHA, Oh, Doof. I can see him facing front in the card's photo, ahhh, frontal Doof.

DOOF!!! XDD

Oh my god, he took her hat. She looks like she's starting to get pissed....you never want to get on Isabella's bad side. XDD (She knows hapkido/jujitsu from NOTLP)

Oh my god, this song is amazing.

See, songs are okay to be long if they're dynamic: lots of movement between locations, varying camera angles, engaging lyrics, moves the plot forward, etc. Now this is PnF!

Baljeet, please. XD

Oh my god, poor Doof. Yowch! I hope his leg's not broken. D: He's certainly dragging it around like it is.

HAHA, I love how he just calmly zaps it!!! Nice (and a good example of the experience thing he was talking about earlier).

That chicken looks uncomfortably realistic for PnF's style (we've seen Agent C in "Traffic Cam Caper" before and a rooster in "Cheer Up Candace").

They got the farmer's hair color wrong. Interesting that they brought him and his wife back, though!

What's with the sudden cartoony sound effects for Doof falling??????? Bad.

Hmm, the audience seems like they're being mind-controlled.

It can't be the first time ever, since she was a star in "Flop Starz"/"Run Away Runway"/"Lights, Candace, Action!"/"Unfair Science Fair Redxux (Another Story)"/"Gi-Ants."

For a hot second I thought she was going to ask Candace to marry her or join her family or something.

I bet Vanessa is going to tame that alien dragon! Also, I hope they realize she's not on earth soon.

I bet the gift they made Candace at the beginning is going to change her mind about living it up on the alien planet.

Oh my GOD, Candace has shown repeatedly that she loves and cares about her little brothers. WELP, GOOD THING THIS MOVIE AIN'T CANON.

Like, seriously, if this movie was canon, there's no way the boys would ever drop the "Candace is unhappy" thing for the rest of the summer.

HAHA, LIKE I SAID: ISABELLA IS TO BE FEARED. XD Also, wasn't it Candace's fault since she sent them away?

"While I love ominous patch-related threats more than anyone--" *AHEM* "Right, apart from Ferb" BOYS, PLEASE. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm getting flashbacks to Horde Prime inviting Glimmer to dinner. Also, I almost typed "Glitter" instead of Glimmer right now.

I bet she killed her brothers or had them mind-controlled or something.

Ooooooof, that's ominous.

Aw, Baljeet's so interested in joining Buford's gang.

Bwahaha, Doof looks so interested! I bet he's going to remember the stuff they're listing for later or something.

DID MONOGRAM JUST SAY DO NOT ENGAGE THE ALIENS BECAUSE OF AN INTER-GALACTIC TREATY?? IS THAT A LILO AND STITCH REFERENCE???? (probably not, but i've been getting into L&S again lately)

Meh, Buford and Baljeet survived being eaten by the worm from "One Good Turn." Those aliens will be fiiiiiiiiiiiiine. :P

Were those alien prisoners rebels or something? They have a hidden city, but they also seemed too scared to be rebels.

Oh my god, cubism.

Okay, so they're not rebels, per se, but they resist by....hiding and cowering. Sort of?

MMmmmyep, the show tunes tipped me off. So these guys got invaded by another alien species, huh? OOF, cordyceps vibes

So she needs Candace to be food for the spores or something?

Yep, she's using Candace as plant food.

Overly long gag again. :\\\\\\\\

Okay, so she didn't kill/mind-control them, but she did lock them up. I was right!

I don't know how their alien biology works, but humans can't eternally walk. Candace's legs would eventually get tired/become not able to move until the lactic acid she builds up wears off. She could also develop varicose veins or blood clots from all that standing. Bad move, aliens.

Yeah, Candace would never do something like that! Also, see: it was her fault they ended up on the prison shuttle, not Doof or Isabella's.

Bruh, the rest of the earth gang breathes CO2...did your scanners not pick up on that?

Oh my god, Candace, don't reveal information that could get earth invaded.

Wait, how was she keeping the mushroom alive before? Where did it come from?

Also, WHAT ABOUT VANESSA!!! SOMEONE SAVE VANESSA!!!

Wait, why was the alien lady holding onto the smaller alien's long moustache? Is he her pet?? CONFUSION

Ugh, they don't have to make every single thing a gag. PnF knew when to make moments real/dramatic. Grow a spine and live with the weight of emotional tension, movie.

ANOTHER OVERLY LONG GAG? No wonder this movie is so long.

Wait, is Shego the VA for the alien lady? The way she yelled sounded like Marlene, who has Shego's VA. I'm going to look this up later.

BWAHA, Vanessa hears the ominous tone, too!

I don't doubt that Doof will be able to cobble something together to get them back, but that honestly has nothing to do with "adulting" since Phineas and Ferb could probably do the same, and they're kids.

I absolutely love how Buford's still carrying that canoe everywhere.

YES!!! Haha, yes, Doof, Perry is your guardian angel (and emotional support animal). :')

I KNEW Vanessa was going to tame that dragon!!

Yeah, see, she never has that dragon again, so this movie is totally just an OVA.

OH MY GOD, PULLING A Chowder HERE, I SEE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Yeah, you can see how off-model/pink Vanessa is right here where she's standing next to Doof. She's supposed to have his brown-tinged coloring (just look at any other time she’s next to him--”Finding Mary McGuffin”/”Minor Monogram”/NOTLP/”Hail Doofania!”/”A Real Boy”/etc).

Bwahahahaha, chicken selfie

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. What would happen if they killed the chicken? Does it only switch with alive chickens?

BWEHEHEHEHEHE

Though I don't like the particular scare chord they used when Doof holds up the Axe inator--very stereotypical/they could've composed a new version, like how Candace's leitmotif is technically Ring Around the Rosie, but different.

Aww, why not, Vanessa? It's your best bet home! Although, I guess it would be awkward considering Perry's right there....

I need to see a photo of the Lieutenant Baljeet's talking about here, for....reasons.

See, Baljeet's recklessness in this movie seems more like something Buford-i'm going to randomly mess with this ("Fly on the Wall")-Van Stomm would do

In "Nerds of a Feather" Baljeet cosplays as a Space Adventure character, so....

"You made another boat?! What've I been lugging this one around for?!" NICE, BUFORD, BWAHA

Wait, how on earth did that work? Can hunks of metal just allow something to fly like that? I admit to not knowing how planes work, but at least those have, like, engines and whatever.

WAIT A SECOND, I SPY MISHTI IN THAT MCFREAKING STADIUM CROWD!!! WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE!!! SHE'S NOT A NORMAL FILLER BACKGROUND CHARACTER!!

Stacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if they meant to put her mom on the bleacher seat behind her, or if it's another Mishti case.

They spelled his name wrong: we saw in "Doof 101" that it's John P. Trystate (the elementary school is named after him)

Beh, nothing bad is ever supposed to happen to Roger, that's the whole point of his character. Bad.

Ah, Bujeet banter.

WHY IS ISABELLA'S ROBOT A CAT THING

They should've made something to kill the mushroom instead.

OH, JEREMY XD Wait, that didn't sound like Mitchel Musso.

Was he just making those weapons because it's his hobby? Stacy did suggest a compound bow as a gift for him in "Vanessassary Roughness," and there's a bow on the counter

Buford and Isabella banter!

I like the detail of Candace's hair being disheveled and her socks drooping after walking all this time

Aww, does she feel guilty? :(

She does. Again, this movie can't be canon, because they don't acknowledge what she's saying for the rest of the summer and this kind of breakdown would definitely leave a mark on her.

AHA, I knew that gift would come into play!

Aww, that's a cute mug! Also, good on Candace for not drinking coffee!

HMMM, OKAY, SO THE SIBLING HUG FROM "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted," WHICH WAS PERRY'S DREAM, IS ON THAT PROJECTION OF THEIR NICE MOMENTS. TOLD YA: NOT CANON.

Haha, nice @ the new gelatin memory. It aligns nicely with the various things Candace has done offscreen that Phineas and Ferb get a kick out of (getting her face caught in the dishwasher, getting tangled in the clothesline, etc)

The exploding thing is technically a step forward, but, again, the real issue is killing that mushroom. Also, are Doof and Co. still stuck??

"Why does that sound like her name?" "I dunno." BOYS

STACY...JEREMY...LARPING.....Aww, don't be ashamed, Jeremy! Candace does Ducky Momo cosplay, and she accepted your dance deficiency in "Nerdy Dancin'!" I have to say, I love it when Stacy and Jeremy are on the same side, since Candace was sidelining Stacy in favor of spending time with Jeremy for a while (to the point where "Canderemy" happened).

Mmm, I notice a trend in cartoons lately about applying psychology to things. Amphibia, SPOP, Steven Universe...it's nice to get kids used to the idea that introspection is healthy.

DID SHE JUST DIE

Okay, did they just...fly from another planet? The gang went beyond light speed to get back home....there's atmosphere issues....they didn't even bother to try and have them salvage the space suits from the inator even though characters in PnF can't survive in space/always have to wear a space suit (Doof even puffed up in "Out to Launch" when he stuck his head outside without a helmet on, and Perry made sure to put a helmet on him when he was going spaceward in "The Doof Side of the Moon")?

Oooh, okay, furthest chicken. Nice.

Aww, the dragon's shielding them! Reminds me of How to Train Your Dragon when Toothless was protecting Hiccup from the flames

WOW, that is an EPIC remix of Perry's theme music!!! Holy crud, there's not as much background music as usual in this movie, but the music that is there goes HARD.

Bwahaha, to quote Maui: "The chicken lives!"

Oh my god, Baljeet really likes petting zoos? Also, I guess the farmer's last name is McDonald??

Beverly Hills + Beverly Hills adjacent...why XD

The chicken still lives!!

Okay, so she's alive.

Ah, so that’s why the mammoth got flung.

Aw, I wish Jeremy and Stacy had had more of an action scene after gearing up.

Okay, see, this lesson she's learned? How if this movie was canon, none of the rest of the summer would have been possible? MMmmmmmmmyeah.

Wait, so the American police are just taking the aliens?? No special forces or anything?? They're ALIENS.

LAWRENCE, DON'T TOUCH THAT!!

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welp, it took me 5 hours to watch this 1 hr 24 min movie...wowza. I forgot to write it when they occurred, but I didn’t like that the alien lady’s blinking had a sound effect in that one scene or that they used the Wilhelm scream during the final battle. I do wish there’d been more Perry and Doof interactions + some more Stacy, but what we did get was good. There were some pacing problems (too much alien screentime), but the excellent interactions between the PnF gang made up for them. Also, I genuinely laughed at at least two handfuls of moments! Anyway: a good movie!! I'm shocked--i'm so picky, and I haven't liked anything since "Last Day of Summer!" I mean, it's definitely an OVA/not canon, but still!! Solid 8/10.

#phineas and ferb #pnf #pnf spoilers #Candace Against the Universe #CATU spoilers #mine

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kob131 · 3 years

Text

https://itsclydebitches.tumblr.com/post/635993185636827136

The first slide that ISN’T a summary and we have serious issues.

The two examples given do NOT reflect on Ironwood’s viewpoint or actions. They’re one off mentions by OTHER characters. IRONWOOD is not reaching out to people here, Ruby and Ozpin effectively are. And Ruby and Ozpin are big on the whole ‘team up!’ thing (to the point Ruby tried to talk RAVEN into joining them.)

So? This is Volume 2, long before Ironwood faces the negative events than change him as a person. Acting like he’s the exact same person then and now is disingenious is a VERY extreme degree.

Glynda: Trouble sleeping?

Ironwood: (Looking back, gripping his shoulder with the other hand.) Arm was acting up.

Glynda: Of course, so logically, you got out of bed, dressed yourself completely and decided to gaze menacingly out into the distance. (Approaches all the way to his side, then looks at him concerned.) What's wrong?

Ironwood: I've trusted him for years. We both have. I just... I can't help but feel like he's keeping us in the dark.

Glynda: Don't be ridiculous! You know very well that we are not the ones in the dark.

Ironwood: (Laughs humorously.) That makes it worse! I refuse to believe that a man that I've trusted for so long would act so... passively.

Glynda: (Puts a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder.) You're a good person, James. You've always done what you think is best for the people, even against strong protest. It's admirable. But it's high time you stopped talking about trust and started showing it. (Drops her hand as they stare into the distance together.) Ozpin has experience that the rest of us lack. And I think that's something worth remembering.

This is the full conversation. Which is rather important given how much it emphasizes that Ironwood looks up to and respects Ozpin...who we all know is about to get cut off from his allies.

Skipping through a LOT here as it’s just a bunch of ‘Hey look! Ironwood’s being nice!’ along with tangents. I’d love to address them all to prevent any accusations of manipulation but I’m not repeating myself: Ironwood being nice is not a contradiction of what he will do (in fact, one can very well see that his empathy is a FACTOR in his decision).

‘Being cautious’. That is an important statement here. Because ‘being cautious’ would also include going for the decision that’s guruanteed to save a few people rather than the decision that MIGHT save a lot of people (a ‘safe bet vs. gamble’ if you will).

Ironically here, OP just displayed how Ironwood’s actions are consistent with his previous ones.

The man whose allies weren’t hacked?

Also note how this DOESN’T have anything to do with the actual argument at hand. It’s not about showing an inconsistency with Ironwood: it’s about making the character look good. It’s a tell from the OP that what they SAY they’re arguing for doesn’t match the actual ACTIONS. OP is not upset that Ironwood is inconsistent- She’s upset that Ironwood is being portrayed NEGATIVELY.

So you’re saying we should throw away all our tech based on the work by Nazi scientists because we disagree with how it was originally used? You try to call hypocrisy here and yet fail to address the distinct difference between the intention/moral implications behind tech and how it’s actually used.

Not to mention how a lot of this is fucking bullshit. Like the army point was about how bringing his army to Vale was a bad idea due to putting people on edge...and then the Grimm attacked, which pretty much made that a non-issue. Or how about the objection of the Aura experimenting wasn’t actually condemning Ironwood? Or how they sympathize with Ironwood and still CONDEMN his actions? Or how the Penny thing flat out wasn’t said?

My pattern senses are also tingling. Specifically the ‘manipulation’ part.

Now it’s all about arguing how Ironwood is actually totally and factually right, as if this isn’t a story.

Issue?

‘In This Story’. AKA The OP has already argued from a meta standpoint but is now trying to argue as if the story is real.

There’s also the complete disregard for the CONSEQUENCES of Ironwood’s actions.

Ironwood brings an army? Gets hacked, turns on the citizens, wrecks Vale and Atlas’ reputation is shot.

Ironwood doesn’t tell the truth about Penny? She gets used as a lynchpin in Cinder’s plan.

Ironwood closes off the border? Atlas’ reputation is further shot and it gives reason to Team RWBY to question him.

Ironwood doesn’t include the council? Their trust in him is dead and they get in his way.

Ironwood doesn’t help Mantle despite their fear, distrust and dislike of Atlas and the very real threat of Grimm? Helps Robyn rise to power who in turn openly distrusts him and conflicts with him, making things harder and causing a rift with his allies.

Fucking hell, a lot of Ironwood’s mistakes are REPEATS of his past mistakes, like his unilateral action in a team effort or him excluding people. Not to mention his preaching of Ozpin’s morals then proceeding to trample all over them and expect everyone to follow him. Stuff that OZPIN got punished for in the previous Volume and Ruby and co. got punished for in the SAME Volume as Ironwood.

He was never portrayed as power hungry. He’s STILL not portrayed as power hungry.

I’ll go ahead and destroy this entire slide show with one quote from one episode, a quote you seem terrified of given how you completely gloss over it despite addressing literally EVERYTHING ELSE with Ironwood.

Volume 4 Episode 11 ‘Taking Control’

Ironwood: (sighing heavily) Winter is one of my best. If she's telling me there's a threat in Mistral then I am not going to take that news lightly. She's been there for weeks, people are mobilizing, sudden spikes in weapons and Dust trades. Someone is about to make a play and I do not trust Leo to stop them.

Weiss is listening outside.

Jacques: You've never trusted anyone other than yourself!

Ironwood: (shouting) And for good reason!

Weiss covers her mouth with her hand as she gasps at the sound of Ironwood slamming his fist onto the desk.

Ironwood: If Oz had just listened to me from the start...

Jacques: You need to get a grip.

Ironwood: That's exactly what I'm doing. Our people need protection. By this time next week, the Kingdom of Atlas will be officially closing its borders. No one in; no one out. Without the council's permission.

Jacques: You mean, without your permission?

Ironwood: And if that becomes the case, I would think you'd want to be on my good side.

Suddenly your whole narrative fails apart. because here we see the core of how Ironwood became who he was-

The sorrow at his failure at Beacon.

His paranoia confirmed.

His belief that his way is the best.

All things he displayed before then- Now worsen by perceived failure. All thrown out into the open for the audience to see. All things he repeated in Volume 7, worsened AGAIN by betrayal and Salem’s arrival.

You can call out all you want about the good things Ironwood has done and how he’s ‘right’- it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t disprove what he showcased here. His empathy in fact would MAKE IT WORSE because he feels responsible for people’s lives so he can’t hesitate to save them. Like say, hesitate to listen to a person whose lied to him or a perceived obstacle *cough* Oscar and Slate *cough*.

He’s not a deconstruction of a cold hearted dictator or a sudden evil villain.

He’s a deconstruction of the Well Intention Extremist trope, showcasing that his intent matters not in the face of his actions and the flaws he fails to overcome. He’s a depressingly real person (I’ve certainly felt like him before) but that doesn’t justify his actions or make him right,

And no woobie pandering will change that.

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sarcastic-sunshines · 4 years

Text

Letters for my Love - Chapter 6

Pairing: T’Challa x Black Reader

Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5

_________________________________________________________________________

My Love,

I can’t believe I am about to write this but... I’m getting married this week. I never thought I would be doing this again, though, I had considered renewing our vows when we would have made it to the twenty-five-year mark.

They say when humans make plans, the Gods laugh, and I am sure they have been enjoying watching me renavigate a world I had completely closed myself off to. Well, the joke is on them. I think I am doing just fine at it all. It is much different this time around. Outside of you not being here, it still feels brand new. I now have to make room for this person and make sure Nono is comfortable as well. It is like I’m still that twenty-six year old nervously waiting as I practice my vows to you. Akina makes me feel that way again, and honestly, I missed it.

She has been slowly moving her things into our home, and at first, we were all excited, especially Nobomi. When I continuously spoke to her about it, she would be more focused on the actual move-in day than anything, but I don’t think she actually understood what it meant to have Akina there every day, without any type of break where she returns to her own home. It is just becoming very real to both of us. And our daughter takes after me. She needs time to get used to change, either that or be fully thrown into it. I may need a similar push myself. I am slightly embarrassed to say, but I never unpacked your closet.

Your clothes still hang and haven’t been moved since the day you left us. I kept saying I would pack everything away, but some of your clothes still smelled like you and having them there made me feel like I could still feel your presence. But now, Akina needs the space, and although she doesn’t say it, I know she is waiting for me to make space for her.

I want her to feel like she is welcomed into our home, but how do I stop feeling as though packing away your belongings means finally putting you in the past? To think, after nine years, I still fear you becoming an afterthought in my life. Remembering you’ve been gone for so long is hard to wrap my head around. This is going to be an emotional week, but imagining Akina in her dress at the end of it is what is going to get me through it.

But, first, it’s about time I tackle this closet.

Yours Forever,

T’Challa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stared at the door for what felt like forever. He had been avoiding doing it for weeks. In actuality for years, but time had literally run out. He looked at the deconstructed boxes for a moment before reaching to grab a few as he went walked inside the closet. For a while, he had considered having the palace workers do it, but that felt so impersonal. He owed his morning glory the time to make sure everything would be folded and place with care.

Perhaps not every item had to be kept, he thought, as he ran his hand over the clothes that hung in a colour coordinated manner, just how she had liked it. Maybe he would keep some pieces for Nobomi to have. Throwing out any of her belongings still felt wrong, like he was closing her final chapter here on earth.

He picked up a casual dress of hers that she had loved dearly. He smiled, remembering what she had looked like walking around their home in that dress. He had begun to think about her less over the years. Being around her clothes was like being bombarded with her presence once again.

“Brother!” his sister called as she walked into the master bedroom.

“I’m in here,” he replied, letting go of the dress. He finally built one of the boxes in front of him. His sister walked in, trying to keep the shock off her face but he saw it despite her best efforts.

“I didn’t know you still had all of this,” she started awkwardly.

“I know it’s strange. I just never thought that I would have to get rid of any of her things. But now Akina is moving in and it’s not fair to her,” he said slowly as he picked up a pair of sneakers and held them close to his chest.

“Why don’t you have someone else do it?”

“Because she deserves this much from me. And honestly, I wouldn’t feel comfortable with anyone else doing it.” He finally took the shoes and placed them in the box. A sad smile formed on his face. “Why do I feel guilty? As if I am completely ridding myself of her memory?”

Shuri stared at her brother, not really having an answer for him, instead, she reached over and picked up another pair of shoes and placed them in the box.

“I don’t know, but you and I both know her memory is not only in these earthly materials.” He gave her a small nod before surveying the room once again. “Why don’t you just pack the few items that you actually want to keep for Nobomi, and then leave the rest up to the workers.”

“I might just do that. I’m already exhausted being in here,” he murmured as he went around picking a few items he knew Nobomi would appreciate more when she was older.

“Speaking of...I am going to take Nono out for a bit, she seems overwhelmed by everything going on,” she said backing away.

“Thank you. I’ve noticed, but I haven’t had the time to talk to her. I think it’s just starting to hit her how different our home is going to be now that Akina is moving in.” His hand ran over the dress his morning glory used to wear during her third trimester. She was convinced it was the only thing that fit and comfy enough for her to move around as she finished her pregnancy. T’Challa always loved the glow that pregnancy gave her.

“Well, maybe you can talk to her when we come back? Hopefully, by then, you will be feeling better about everything as well.”

He nodded as she walked away. He folded the dress placing it in a box, excited about one day telling the stories attached to the dress to his daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sat at the edge of his bed as he watched the workers pack up whatever he had left to be donated. He was fighting every urge to stop the process and return everything to its original spot. He had to keep reminding himself that the spot was rightfully Akina’s now. She never asked too much of him, and although she never worded it, she had been waiting to see if he would actually pull through. She never knew how to tackle the issue of Nono’s mother. Akina was aware of the space she took in his heart, and never made it seem like she aimed to be a replacement. But her subtle frustration with him over the past week was apparent. She had made it very clear by piling her clothes into his closet.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Nono entering his room and surveying the flow of workers carrying her mother’s belongings. She came over to her father, climbing the bed to sit next to him. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. They sat silently for a moment, watching as the closet space was slowly emptied out.

“How was your day out Nobomi wam,” he asked breaking their silence.

“It was good. Aunty Shuri let me ride my hoverbike across the market.”

“I’m sure the Doras enjoyed chasing you through there,” he smiled at the small giggle she let out. And then it was silent again.

“Why are you moving mama’s stuff?” she asked, peering up at her father.

“Because,” he paused with a sigh. “Because I have to make space for Akina. I am going to move your mama’s things to a room of their own. That way you can still have them. I just want Akina to feel welcome in our home.”

“Everything is changing so fast,” the nine-year-old murmured. He brought his arms around her pulling her into his side.

“I know, but you know it’s just because the wedding is this week. But it is less change. Kiki is going to be a great addition to our home.”

“If she is just adding to our home, why is so much changing in the house? She moved my pencil crayons out of the living room. She added way too many pillows to the couches. She put the bowls on a higher shelf,” she whined with a pout.T’Challa tried not to laugh, but a chuckle escaped his lips. Nono furrowed her eyebrows even further.

“It’s not funny Baba!” Her bottom lip quivering as she said it. T’Challa looked over and realized Nono’s issues may have been deeper than she had voiced. He examined her face for a moment. Her pout reminded him of her mother.

“Eh, okay. Nobomi, I will talk to her. We will get rid of some of the pillows, and I will make sure the bowls are low enough for you to reach. Now the pencil crayons were not supposed to be there, to begin with. You and I know that.” Her pout rested on her face. “What’s really bothering you?”

“She is taking up even more of your time,” she said quietly, her arms crossed against her chest. “Everything is about her and the wedding. I like Kiki. I just want her to share more, not just everything her way. I don’t want it to be like this forever.”

He looked at her face for a moment before kissing her cheeks. Things had been hectic. He would be lying if he didn’t admit he had been spending more time with Akina to prepare for the wedding, as well as making sure her move was a comfortable one.

“I am sorry that you have felt like I haven’t been able to spend enough time with you. I know things have been hectic. I promise, as soon as the wedding is over, things will go back to normal. Well, a new normal.”

His world was changing again, just as it had when Nobomi entered his world. This time, he was expecting the obstacles in his way, and he was ready to face them and make sure Nobomi was comfortable enough for the ride.

“You know Nobomi...things will be different. Akina is joining our family. Do you remember that we talked about that?” Nobomi nodded slowly “Well, even though we will have a new member in our family, I will always do my best to make time for you, Nobomi wam. And if you feel like I am not doing that, you make sure you let me know. I know Akina is so excited to spend more time with you.”

Nobomi’s smile started to appear. T’Challa looked up, noticing the workers had all left the room. He rose from the bed, opening his arms for Nobomi to jump in. He took her close into his arms and kissed the top of her head. For a moment, he thought about how small she used to be, how he used to hold all of her in his forearm. His baby girl was getting so big, and that was a change he would never be able to accept.

“You are my whole my life. Whatever changes we have to face, we will face together,” he whispered by her ear.

“Okay, Baba, but can we talk about having some pencil crayons in the living room? I like to draw during the commercials.”

He let out a chuckle, holding her little body close to his. “We can talk about it, but I’m not sure how you are going to be able to convince me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He watched from the door while Akina continued to unpack her new workroom, shifting mannequins around hoping to find the perfect corner for them. She glanced at T’Challa briefly before continuing to move around the room pretending to not see her.

“Are you going to offer to help or just keep staring,” she said with a slight smile. She attempted to move her sketch board but T’Challa slowly came up behind her, moving the board effortlessly to the corner she wanted it.

“I was going to help, but I got distracted by how beautiful you are,” he smirked, slowly walking up to her to allow his arms to wrap around her waist.

“Well, I need your help now. You have the rest of our lives to stare at me.” She leaned in to kiss him before laying her head against his chest. With him, the world always seemed to stand still, and she needed that. Wedding planning had made their lives even busier than it already was. It made simple moments like this even more important.

He pulled away, taking her hand and leading her down the hall to their room. “I need to show you something,” he said softly.

He stopped outside the closet, pausing for dramatic effect making Akina laugh. He finally opened the door revealing the freshly renovated closet. He had added some extra shelves and racks for the budding fashion designer. He wanted the room to feel like hers, not as though she was taking someone’s space.

“Do you like it,” he asked while walking the length of the room. Akina wasn’t really smiling. She leaned against the glass jewellery display case.

“Love, you know I appreciate the gesture, but there are few things we need to talk about.” T’Challa turned, walking over to the other side of the case, close enough for Akina to take his hands into hers.

“I know this is a big change for you, and you know I love you, I just don’t want you to feel forced.”

“What do you mean?”

“You still want this, right? This marriage, and me being here? I don’t want to feel like I am taking up space that is not my own…”

“Of course I want this. This space is as much yours as it is mine. More importantly, I want you here. This is a big change, but there is no one else I would want to be doing this with. I cannot wait to marry you Akina,” he ended with a smile as he kissed her hands. She held his stare for a moment, a smile written on her face.

“Then I am going to need some help moving some gowns in here tomorrow.”

“There is nothing else I would rather be doing.” He leaned in for a slow kiss. “As long as we’re going through changes together, I know we will be fine. I just have a few requests.”

She looked up at him waiting for his question.

“A certain little girl has asked for you to keep the bowls low enough for her to reach them. And maybe we could reduce the number of throw pillows on the couch...she does need a spot to sit,” he smirked.

“Fine, but I’m going to need Nono to stop leaving her pencil crayons on the couch. They hurt when you sit on them.” She ended with a laugh that he joined.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Love,

It is official, I can finally say that Akina is my wife. I can’t lie but I can’t stop smiling. It meant more to see her happy and ready to start this new part of our lives over everything. She kept whispering to me how happy she was, and how loved she felt. Hearing that made all the little stressors leading to the wedding worth it. It’s nice to have that extra person to come home to. I’ve missed that since you’ve been gone. Just being able to love and be loved again makes me realize how much I had actually missed it. What we had will always be special and so unique. It was a love I will always cherish and think of fondly. You are my soulmate after all. But I am so grateful Akina showed up at my doorstep. This chapter of life we are going to be embarking together is something I definitely needed.

I think it will be good for Nobomi as well. Her and Akina get along so well, seeing them dancing together at the wedding brought a tear to my eye. Nobomi has gotten over her initial reservations to having Akina live with us, though she has made it clear that all changes made to our home have to be approved by her. She is such a funny child. I can never get over how much of her personality comes from you, especially how outspoken she is. Akina is teaching her how to sketch. It was the compromise of having some pencil crayons in the living room, but it’s so interesting to see so much of our child through her artistic expression. It is moments like this I wish you were here to see with me. But I know you are always watching, protecting from above. Just know that we love you. No matter where life takes us, your memory and presence is constantly felt.

Yours Forever,

T’Challa

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @chaneajoyyy @aloevverified @ghostfacekill-monger @abrunettefangirlnerd @mellowjellow6 @ashanti-notthesinger @royallyprincesslilly@fd-writes @raysunshine78

#Letter's for my love #sunshinewrites #t'challa x reader

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justablogjs · 4 years

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Love Nikki: I wish I'd known when I stared

In Game Clock/Server time In Game Currency Level Types Momo's Tips + Memory Style Types Free Diamonds Facebook Diamonds Stylist Arena Suit Recipe Tracking Deconstruction/Workshop

In Game Clock

At the very bottom left hand corner is a clock, it displays the date and time according to the Love Nikki Server. Any and all times found within the game (such as the Association Co-op or Neighbourhood Tea Party times) refer to this clock. Your local time may be very different, make sure you know how far out the Love Nikki Clock is to yours, because the end of Events are listed in the Server's Time.

In Game Currency

Stamina used to complete levels Gold Coins used to buy certain things, common currency Diamonds Used to buy things, rarer currency, used for Events – the bane of a player's existence, Hoard Them!! Star Coins Used to buy recipes, materials and dyes, rarer currency

The levels in the Mystery house, Dream Weaver, Association and Competition stores all require special currency which can be earned within by doing draws or pulls. (The two “Rooms of Mystery” have daily free draws, while the other four are free every 2 days.

Level Types Maiden Easy levels with no attempt limit, cost 4 stamina to do, You can auto-complete 1 [or up to 10 if you have the stamina and the V-Level for it (I believe it's V4)]

Princess Trickier, 3 free attempts per day, or pay diamonds for more (available extras depend on you 'V Level'), you can auto complete 1 [or up to 3 if you have the stamina and V-Level]

Levels are divided up into Chapters, Maiden Levels must be complete first before the Princess equivalent can be attempted.

Momo's Tips + Memory

After the tutorial stretch of level 1 Momo will start giving tips on how to get passing scores for each level (or S-rank). You can see these even before you start the level by tapping the little diamond-square on the level panel.

If Momo suggests an item in both normal and S-rank tips (especially if you don't have that item) it is likely a special requirement for the level.

Once you're in the level, Momo's tips can be found above the skills Icon at the bottom left of the screen, which is above the 'go fight' arrow icon.

Across from these Icons are the “Search”, “Suit”, “Background”, “remove” and “Memory” Icons

Search can let you see you clothes based on which tag and style they have, or you can search them by name. (By name is fastest when applying Momo's Tips (which will look hideous), but you don't always have to type the full name to find an item, some words appear frequently in item names, other words are much rarer, figuring out how best to search is up to each player.)

Suit lets you automatically apply any complete suit you've accepted the reward for in the achievements book. (If you haven't accepted the reward for completing the suit it won't show up in the list.)

Background just changes the background which has no baring on the final scores but is good fun in Free Dressing or Starry Corridor, while Remove automatically removes all clothing and accessories.

Memory has two options: “Best Score” and “Last Suit”. These are only available after the level has been completed the first time. Best score will automatically dress Nikki in the suit which earned the highest score for that level no matter how long ago it was, while Last Suit will put on the last thing Nikki wore to the scoring even if it failed miserably.

Style types

Gorgeous/Simple, Mature/Cute, Warm/Cool, Elegant/Lively, Sexy/Pure

There are 10 (2 lots of 5) Style Types used on all pieces in Love Nikki, but each suit will only contain 5 of them. The 10 tags can be divided in 2 (As shown above by the / marks) opposing lists, no suit will have two opposing tags (for instance you cannot have a piece that is Both Mature and Cute.) These Styles have ratings C, B, A, S, SS, and are what the Giftys (the little orange maybe bird things) score each level.

In addition there are 44 Style Tags which include things like “Modern China”, “Rock”, “Rain”, “Goddess”, “Gothic” - these are separate from the Style Types above and only appear on a few pieces, there are some levels where these Tags are important for your score and whether you use pieces with the correct tag can affect whether or not your clothes count towards your final score.

Level Tips

After the first several levels in the first stage, an icon labelled “Momo's Tips” will appear

Free Diamonds

Do Your Dailies!!! I cannot stress this enough, always do your dailies, you can earn an easy 53 Diamonds per day doing your dailies.

Dailies can be found on the right hand side of the screen up top, the open book icon labelled quests

- If you are saving for a stamina event you can do your “Complete any 5 quests with S rating” in Maiden and earn back what you've spent in stamina while earning 15 points for your dailies.

Vote in the Competition, every ten votes you do, you can get a prize, just tap the tiny picture of a gift box at the bottom of your screen. Prizes in the box include a few diamonds, or a crystal rose (currency for the competition store), or a couple hundred gold coins, or some stamina.

voting can be time consuming, but it is okay to farm by selecting one side and tapping the vote button slowly until you're out of votes if you're after the free stuff (we've all done it, anyone who's said otherwise is being less than truthful.) You get 30 votes max which recharge slightly faster than stamina, so you can get 60-90+ in a day which is an easy 6-9 prizes

Participate in the competition, this pay out can vary wildly and only comes twice a week when the competition ends, but it is free diamonds so even if you slap on whatever is at the top of your list and damn the theme: do it

Long Term Event: Daily Lucky Draw. The Balloon Icon on the right hand side of the screen about midway down, right hand tab and scroll down. This is a lucky draw event which can give a few diamonds, a couple hundred coins, stamina or star coins.

Long Term Event: Stage Bonus: the first time you complete each (most) stage(s) in the Maiden and Princess levels you will receive a prize containing (two of the four following:) Diamonds, Coins, Stamina or recipes (These recipes are generally used to complete the Stage specific suit and are occasionally needed to pass one of the levels in the stage.)

Achievements: completing certain tasks enough times earns you free diamonds and gold coins and occasionally suit pieces – Achievements are the golden medal between Quest and Event Icon.

Facebooks Diamonds

If you link your Love Nikki account to your Facebook page you can get some free suit pieces during certain events (Like the new wishes during the Frozen event or the Frost Flutters suit during the Miku event.

you can also earn about 15 additional diamonds per day through 'shares'.

You can actually get these without linking you facebook page, In the 'Change' tab of the competition, in both the Free Dressing and Go Home sections you can share for 2 Diamonds a piece, the first time you complete a level per day and win you can share for another 2 diamonds plus about 500 additional gold coins. When you do a level and get and 'F' for the first time each day you will see a 'help' button where the 'share' button normally is and '2 diamonds' under it, it isn't asking you to pay 2 diamonds to receive help, it is a share button like the other and will give you the 2 diamonds plus additional gold coins for subsequent shares.

When you raise your score (typically in a Maiden or Princess level, but Stylist Arena works too) enough to get a higher rank than you previously had (for the first time each day) you can share for a whopping 5 diamonds.

The easiest way to do this is to do a level in the Stylist's Arena, because of the way the rankings there work, just a single win per day should be enough to raise your rank for the Diamonds.

Stylist Arena

During that win you can also share for 3 star coins

Stylist Arena is the bane for many a player for a few reasons.

Reason 1: The Brief – each round has a Theme, but the Theme doesn't actually mean anything, what you're looking for in each Theme description are the words that match the style types

Reason 2: Momo's estimates – Up the top of the screen, each opponent is gauged by Momo and given an estimated score, you can use this to find an opponent you can beat by hitting 'Next' on your opponent's image but Be Warned: Momo's estimate Does Not take Skill usage into account so his estimate can be Under by as much 15,000 points (I personally try to never face an opponent who's score is over 45,000 and prefer to find opponents with scores Under 40,000 because I can't recall my score averages off the top of my head and I find it safer to fight a weaker opponent I can definitely beat than risk losing my streak. There's no penalty, it's just super frustrating, especially when you're trying to complete Arena Streak Achievements.)

"Finish ASAP" will reuse whatever your highest scoring outfit was in previous attempts and complete the battle in even less time than it takes normally, and you don't have to waste those few seconds tapping through rewards or rank up animations, which is awesome if you've forgotten to do your Arena battles until five minutes before the day 'resets'.

Like the Styling competition you get diamonds at the end of the season as well as a small bounty of Star Coins, these are used to buy Recipes, materials and dyes. (You can also get those from an association, but you're better off using the Star coins and saving you Association currency for the evolving outfits whose pieces are available at random when the store refreshes each day.)

Suit Recipe Tracking

Just below your Personal Icon at the top right hand corner is a small Icon called Guide, Selecting one of the three target spaces and select change to select a suit from the achievements tab (you can search by name or by origin type (level evolution/ from the store/ from a recipe etc) once selected the Guide will show you not only how many pieces of clothing you need to make the suit, but any recipes, material or dyes. You can deselect various pieces to show how much you need for a specific piece. When you have enough to construct the clothing piece, the Guide will let you know with a little 'go make' tag across the piece.

Deconstruction/Workshop

In your Workshop is the tab “Decompose”, which lets you turn excess pieces of clothing to coins (gold and Star), materials for customising, and Reconstruction Materials.

There is a small selection option “select extra clothes” near the top right hand corner which will select any clothing/accessory/makeup item which can't be used for a recipe, quest, evolved or customised. The list will always show 1 less in the tally of each item since it only displays duplicates of items, there will always be a piece left in the wardrobe.

If you want to throw in some of the recipe/quest/evolution/customizable clothes, you will have to do that manually. (I would suggest items which are only used in customisation, and leave yourself at least four since there's typically only four colour variations at most.)

There's a key up the top under the “Decomposition” banner to tell you what the symbols mean for the 'useful' clothes.

Spending Real World Money and closing thoughts IF you plan on spending real money on your Love Nikki Account, I would suggest ensuring your account is 100% linked to your Facebook page or you run the risk of losing your account if anything happens and the Devs will not (have never to my knowledge) refund lost-account money.

You do not have to spend real world money if you don't want to.

If you have the money, if spending it on Nikki won't hurt your finances and this is what you want to spend it on, go right ahead.

If you have the money, if spending it on Nikki won't hurt your finances and you don't want to spend it on Nikki, or if you don't have the money to spend, then don't that's fine too.

I spent a year playing before I spent real world money on the game, because until I hit the year mark, I wasn't sure I'd be playing it for very long.

Love Nikki is not Pay to Win, it's not even Pay to Play. Lately the Devs have been making Paying Players bleed for the extra suits and that's not okay, but pay or no pay:

The only way to play Love Nikki wrong is to not have fun.

If you're having fun then it doesn't matter how long it takes you to complete a level or stage or whether or not you do the Events in any percentage.

And yes, sometimes the most fun we have is having a go at Momo or crying theatrically at chapter 15 and then refusing to read any lore afterwards because you're too emotionally scarred to ever allow yourself to become invested again... ahem... moving right along!

Nikki's Info

Nikki's Info is an independent site which is honestly a godsend and if you find yourself struggling to complete a level, or if you want tips on how to do good at Stylist's Arena, I definitely recommend checking it out. I have an account over there, and I keep my wardrobe (manually) updated (the cloud doesn't like me) which means I can see a level and how to get the best out of my wardrobe.

If anyone has anymore tips they'd like to add please do (or if my information is no longer valid because updates or I've misremembered something, please tell me.)

#love nikki #love nikki dress up queen #wish i knew then #long post

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clairebeauchampfan · 6 years

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Misinterpretation? Or different thoughts?

That Kahlil Gibran ‘On Marriage’ poem, Have you actually studied the words? I mean, really studied them? Do you remember the ‘deconstruction’ games you used to have to play in English classes at school or college?

To me , it could be a poem selected by someone who is/was at that time perhaps a tad wary of commitment. And certainly someone who doesn’t/didn’t want to stand in anyone else’s shadow, but wants/wanted to maintain her distance. It’s almost a plea for understanding that one can indeed love someone (’truly, madly, deeply’) , yet not want marriage, or even (dare I say it in this fandom?) want to be committed to one person.’Drink not from one cup.’ Whoaaa! Do I go to far? Slap my wrist...

Anyway, the girl’s now engaged, doncha know. How’s that for commitment to one person? So I’m talking complete bullshit again, and not for the first time. Sorry.

‘On Marriage’ is a popular poem for modern marriages, I know. Many of you will have had it read at your own wedding, and here you are, still happily married, forty years on. Here’s someone though with a VERY different take on this poem and it’s implications. And yes, before you blast me, I also remember the biblical text: ‘judge not that ye be not judged.’ This is not a judgement thing. I just offer it as food for thought. Nothing more, nothing less.

*********************************************************************************

“Please Don't Read This Poem at Your Wedding”

Jennifer Fulwiler

“I’m starting to think that it’s required by law that people read Khalil Gibran’s poem On Marriage at their weddings. I recently saw a wedding message board in which almost all of the women planned to include it in their nuptials, and I’ve heard it recited at most of the out-of-church weddings I’ve attended. You can read the whole thing here, but here’s an excerpt:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. [...]

And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Before I go on, let me say that I’m not knocking weddings at which this poem was read—as someone who walked down the aisle in a dark purple dress in a rented theater, and had a seven-minute ceremony that was overshadowed by a 14-hour reception, I’m the last person to appoint myself as the wedding police. I simply want to get out there something that needs to be said: This poem is very beautiful. But it’s really bad advice. I mean, add a few step-by-step numbers, and it works as an instructional manual:

How to Have a Difficult Marriage

1. Love one another, but make not a bond of love. 2. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. 3. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. 4. Stand together yet not too near together.

Though it was published in 1923, it’s an eloquent articulation of our modern culture’s new understand of marriage. In this view, the individual is more important than the family unit. Marriage is seen as a path to self-fulfillment for each spouse, where protecting yourself trumps self-sacrificial love, and personal autonomy trumps all.

I suspect that this poem has grown in popularity in recent decades because it resonates with people who where children in the 70s and 80s, which had some of the highest divorce rates ever. There is a distinct sense of bet-hedging in this poem: Don’t lose yourself. Don’t give too much. Guard yourself and your possessions. Keep a clear boundary between yourself and your spouse. Otherwise you might get hurt.

It reminds me of a heartbreaking article that was out in the Wall Street Journal last month, where Susan Gregory Thomas talked about the tragedy of Generation X divorces. So many of these couples whose marriages ended tried so hard to make it work, since they had come from broken homes themselves. Their approach was reasonable enough: Make sure you marry someone you like, make sure you work well as roommates, and it should be fine. It was the Khalil Gibran ideal: Two people who love each other doing their own thing under the same roof; each person careful not to give too much of him or herself, not too much intermingling of property. I can see how this seems like it would work. But usually it doesn’t.

Though divorce rates among this generation are looking better than in previous decades, I would suggest that it is in spite of this new “lifelong roommates” view of marriage, not because of it. It is a rare couple that makes it to their 25th anniversary with each person worrying about whether he or she is giving too much to the other. It is through marriage that we have the opportunity to experience the joy that comes with self-giving, and the powerful love that is generated when two people care for one another more than they care for themselves. It isn’t easy, but it’s the only option for a healthy, happy marriage that lasts.

So, if you want to have a great marriage, skip On Marriage as a reading at your wedding, and use it as a reverse how-to guide: Stand close together, eat from the same loaf, drink from the same cup, and, with God at the center, make an unbreakable bond of love.”

***********************************************************************************

Hmmm. Well, everyone has their own opinion, and chooses their own path, to perfect happiness or misery.

As I say, food for thought. Cogito, ergo sum.

#samcait sam and cait samxcait

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magicalgirlartist · 6 years

Photo

Finally drew my Sentinel Comics OC, Diamond Heart! I originally came up with her as a concept for a fan deck a couple years back, and am planning on transferring her to the RPG once it comes out.

Character notes, lies about publishing history and story arc, and game mechanics below the readmore. (With deepest apologies to mobile users.)

Character Notes

Diamond Heart is an archetypal magical girl. Her civilian name is Yukiko Chevalier. She grew up in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. She’s of mixed heritage, being both Japanese-Canadian (mother) and French-Canadian (father), but she doesn’t speak much Japanese--mostly English and Quebec French. Her outfit, though difficult to see, is made up of a silver dress, white jacket, gloves, and boots, and metallic blue accents, plus an actual diamond heart as an embellishment to the jacket. Her powers mostly involve bursts of magical energy and transformation.

Publishing History (all lies)

Diamond Heart is a relatively new character in the Sentinel Comics lineup. Back during the manga boom of the late 90s/early 00s, Sentinel Comics acquired the translation rights to a few different manga series, mostly short shonen series and some superheroes. One of these series was a magical girl series called Heart of Diamond (Daiyamondo no kokoro, although honestly only weeaboos called it that), which had seen limited success in Japan due to everyone comparing it to another, more popular magical girl series, saying it was a direct ripoff. However, the Sentinel Comics translation was very popular in North America and it brought in a new reader base for them. One of the things readers liked was that they stuck very close to the original script, or at least as close as possible, rather than going the 3Kids route and making it take place in America or changing the characters’ names for no reason.

Unfortunately, Heart of Diamond was the only series that took off for Sentinel Comics. The other series didn’t sell well, and the translation rights were eventually sold to other companies. Heart of Diamond was one of the few series that was completely translated by Sentinel Comics. This left Sentinel Comics with a bit of a dilemma: Heart of Diamond sold well and brought in a previously untapped market of teenage girls. How could they hold on to that when Heart of Diamond ended? It was only about 30 chapters long, after all.

So they did what comic companies do best: reboot. (okay that’s not fair but still) Once Heart of Diamond ended, they announced a new book called Diamond Heart that would be coming out soon. Said book featured a new protagonist with the same powers and costume as the old one, but with a new supporting cast. Two new girls (Emerald Heart and Topaz Heart) were added to the roster, bringing it to a team of five (up from three in the original manga). Her mascot also got a makeover, going from a floating jelly-like ball (affectionately nicknamed Slime-chan by fans) to a small stone creature, a sort of cross between a less-ugly gargoyle and a less-gigantic inuksuk. Her basic story stayed the same--fighting evil aliens (called Titons) that live on Saturn’s moon Titan, but she was now officially part of the Sentinel Comics universe, and the team had full control over her story.

Reactions were...mixed. Some Heart of Diamond fans felt like Yukiko and Diamond Heart were just “fake ripoffs” of their favourite thing (which was already 100% a ripoff but y’know). Most fans took to the new book, though, and Diamond Heart ran right up to the Oblivaeon event.

Most issues of Diamond Heart followed the original “monster of the week” formula that Heart of Diamond had used, though with more focus on the overarching story about the Titons. There was also some focus on how the team fit into the Sentinel Comics multiverse as a whole, but as the Canadian setting was relatively separate from the rest of the major goings-on in the other comics they tended to remain fairly isolated. They knew of other heroes and other heroes knew about them, but there wasn’t a lot of cross pollination happening. The weird part of Diamond Heart was that it was trying to follow a very Japanese plot, but doing so from a very western perspective. Comparisons to Sentai Rangers were drawn constantly among western fans. Occasionally the book would have crossovers with other heroes (notably Nightmist, the Argent Adept, and Guise) in an attempt to boost sales, bring new readers in, and reestablish Diamond Heart’s place in the multiverse. These crossovers usually only lasted about an issue or two before going back to regular production.

Story (also lies)

At the start of her grade 11 year, Yukiko found a necklace with a sliver-white heart-shaped pendant in her new locker. She figured it had belonged to the last person who used it and tried to figure out who that was to return it to them, but no one she asked about it had ever seen it before. She kept it as a good luck charm and started wearing it everywhere.

It wasn’t long after this that an alien attacked her school, screaming something about a silver-white necklace. Figuring they were looking for her, Yukiko tried to escape, but ran into a short, round creature made of rocks just before she could escape the school. It introduced itself as Rochmananov, Guardian of the Heart Stones, and told her she’d been chosen to lead a team of magical warriors against the evil Titons. Naturally Yukiko didn’t believe it at first, assuming she’d bumped her head and everything happening was some kind of hallucination, but Rochmananov managed to change her mind by getting her to say her transformation incantation, “Heart of Diamond! Release!” She transformed into Diamond Heart, and though still a bit in shock was able to defeat the alien attacking her school with Rochmananov’s help.

Afterwards, Rochmananov (later nicknamed Rocky) explained that it had hidden the Diamond Heart in her locker so she’d be able to find it, as it was her destiny to lead the Gem Hearts. Yukiko wasn’t particularly enthusiastic, thinking that anyone else would do a better job, but Rocky insisted she was the right person. The two of them set about assembling the rest of the team, which was fairly easy thanks to Rocky’s ability to see people with magical potential. After a few issues they had the whole team--Sapphire Heart (Michelle), Ruby Heart (Neha), Emerald Heart (Charlee), and Topaz Heart (Jackie).

As a team, the five of them protected Ottawa and searched for a way to bring an end to the Titon threat. They fought other enemies as well, mostly in crossovers, but generally all their foes were Titon-related. They stayed in Ottawa up until the OblivAeon event.

Signs of OblivAeon started showing up in Diamond Heart around the same time as they did everywhere else, though since there wasn’t a lot of activity in the Ottawa area before the event itself, there wasn’t much. Teams had been told to wrap up story threads and loose ends before OblivAeon showed up to reset everything, so shortly before the event itself was published the Gem Hearts found a way to magically transport themselves to Titan, and in a several-issue climactic battle finally defeated the Titon King. They used a Titon spaceship to get back to Earth, having exhausted most of their powers in the fight, and by the time they returned the OblivAeon attack was in full swing.

The team mostly fought Aeon men and kept to the ground protecting civilians, unable to do much else with their depleted powers. Finally, Rocky revealed that he had a way to give them a power boost, giving them his own energy to restore them at the cost of his life.

Michelle, Neha, Charlee, and Jackie all tried to find help through the various multiverse portals, and were still in those other worlds when OblivAeon was defeated and the doors between worlds slammed shut. Yukiko, devastated by the loss of her friends, searched desperately for a way to bring them back, but couldn’t find anything. After the Sentinels of Freedom were formed, she went to them looking for help, and that’s about where things stand now.

Character Arc (still more lies)

Yukiko starts the series as a cheerful teenager, friendly and always willing to help. She doesn’t have a very high opinion of herself, though, and has to be convinced of her own self-worth constantly through the series. As the series goes on, she matures more and even manages to ask her long-time crush Parker Matthews on a date. Parker eventually becomes aware of his girlfriend’s secret, and spends a lot of time worrying about her as a result. He tries to go with her to meet the Sentinels of Freedom, worried about her safety, but she tells him she can take care of herself and goes alone.

Part of Yukiko’s character arc (in the Sentinel Comics universe, she gives up the mantle of Diamond Heart in the Mist Storm universe) was to deconstruct the “power of friendship” trope. Part of her power set as Diamond Heart is to amplify others’ powers or take their power and add it to her own. Because of this, she feels more like a supporter than a leader. Her friends make her strong, but as far as she’s concerned she’s useless without them.

Card Game Mechanics (yet more lies)

The Diamond Heart deck is made mostly of oneshots with four “ally” cards (the other Gem Hearts), one“mascot” card (Rocky), and one equipment card (her Diamond Pendant). She has 28HP. Her base power is called “Glittering Diamond Burst!” and its text reads: “Diamond Heart deals one non-hero target 2 energy damage.”

“Ally” cards have 7HP each. Their power names are in the flavour text at the bottom of each card. Each “ally” card gives the player an added ongoing passive effect:

Sapphire Heart: Reduce all damage dealt to Diamond Heart, allies, and mascots by 1. (“Dazzling Sapphire Shield!”)

Ruby Heart: Increase all damage dealt by Diamond Heart, allies, and mascots by 1. (“Searing Ruby Blast!”)

Emerald Heart: At the start of your turn, each Hero target regains 1HP. (“Healing Emerald Wave!”)

Topaz Heart: At the start of your turn, choose one of your Hero targets. They deal each Villain target 1 Energy damage each. (“Roaring Topaz Storm!”)

The “Mascot” card has 5HP. Its card name is just “Rochmananov.” It grants the player access to the following power: “Reveal the top card of your deck. If it’s an Ally, put it into play. Otherwise, discard it.”

The Diamond Pendant is an equipment card and therefore has no HP. It grants the player the following passive effect when in play: “You may draw or play one card at the end of your turn.”

The rest of the cards in Diamond Heart’s deck are oneshots. Some include:

The Power of Friendship: Diamond Heart deals one Villain target X energy damage, where X is the number of hero targets in your play area.

Secret Identity: Diamond Heart deals herself 1 Psychic damage. If she takes damage this way, you may draw two cards now.

Rainbow Gem Love Barrage!: Diamond Heart deals one non-hero target X energy damage, where X is the number of oneshot cards in your trash.

Here to Help: Search your deck or trash for an Ally card and put it into your hand. If you searched your deck, shuffle your deck.

(non-comprehensive list, also has never been playtested because it doesn’t exist let me live)

RPG Mechanics:

The Sentinel Comics RPG isn’t out yet, but when it is I’ll make Diamond Heart for real and put her mechanics here.

#sentinels of the multiverse #sentinel comics oc #DEEPEST APOLOGIES TO MOBILE USERS #art #fanart #traditional mediums

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project-runway-rankings · 6 years

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Season 2 Episode 14- Floundering Finale

It’s no secret that I think these designers stumbled to the finish line this season. Unfortunately, Daniel, Chloe, and Santino really didn’t step it up going into the finale and we got three fairly underwhelming collections. None of the collections A) felt like full collections or B) had any surprising wow pieces. This made it feel like I could take any look from one collection and throw it into the other and it would fit in. Everything was just “fine”.

3. Daniel V.

Oof what a disappointment this was. Daniel seemed to be the preordained winner of the season, but this collection was just a conglomerate of mall wear with a few “fancy dresses” with ugly appliques. There were certain flashes of brilliance, but he had too many starting points and never really went anywhere with any of them. It was such a shame to see Daniel fall so hard, but guess what? We all done known this!!! He wasn’t that great on the season and this collection showed that.

Serving you Blanche Deveroux realness. Tacky floral? Check. Shoulder pads? Check. Fit and flair? Check. Congratulations you’ve made your first grandma jacket!

The skirt is nothing.

The boring daughter of the woman in the first look. I can get that top at J.Crew, Gap, Macy’s, literally any department store. There is no design here.

This is a cute coat, and had he run in this direction I think he could have eeked out the win because the judges really loved him. The collar is wonderful and it is impeccably made. the silhouette is gorgeous, too.

And we’re back to mall wear. The only part that is remotely designed are the shoulder straps. Yawn.

I agree with Michael Kors, I want to rip that thing off of her chest. The pleating on the bottom is cute but still boring.

Had this shirt been a mini dress I would have loved it, but it isnt. The top is cute, but once again the skirt is nothing. I also hate the two together, especially with the boots.

Where did this come from? It has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of his collection. Had this been in the same cool tones I would have given it a pass, but changing the pallet and design details is too much. I actually really like the pants but, as we know, I hate the under boob scoop.

Oh look! He took my advice and made his shirt and skirt a mini dress for his thirteenth look. This is cute and totally in line with the best pieces in his collection. It isn’t shown here but I love the cowl neck back to these pieces. I would have switched this piece and the previous piece in his lineup for a smoother transition.

I want to like this but I just can’t. Each piece individually is cute but all together it gets a bit costume, like someone on a Disney show. Had he gotten rid of the purple sweater, which is a nothing piece already, it would have been much more successful. But again with the damn chest patch.

There were strokes of greatness in this collection. I absolutely love this top, it is so soft and delicate, the best parts of Daniel’s designs. The pants are wonky but at least there is design there.

J. Crew Outlet

I like it but once again it does not fit with his collection. No where else has he played with transparent volume or monotone multi-piece looks. I like that he played with volume and top and on bottom, but was able to balance it out by keeping it body con in the middle.

This dress is horrendous from beginning to end and not what I would want to leave in the mind of the public and the judges. The patch needs to go, but past that there are many more issues. The color is so blah and the two browns do not mesh well. All of the detail in the back looks very western, like cowboy boot or saloon door details. Mess all around.

2. Santino

Santino created a lot of beautiful dresses for his finale collection, but he showed very little range. It was quite boring and after a while and a lot of the pieces began to blend together. That being said, there were no truly bad pieces in his collection but it didn’t feel like a full runway show to me.

This is a gorgeous gown but it doesn’t give me the oomph I need from an opener. The proportions are great and make the model look super tall and I love the fabrics he chose. It’s just a bit safe.

This is cute and fun. I love the leather pants, they add an edge to an extremely saccharine look. The top is cute as well, I just wanted some more oomph again.

Everyone on Project Runway has created this dress, and it’s normally in a quick or unconventional challenge. I don’t need this in a 13 piece collection. Love the color though. Why this was in the middle of his maroon and pink looks I will never know.

Yawn. At least the blue dress was made well. What is up with the hem.

It’s a beautiful slip dress with a wonky back.

For the 13th look it was more designed than any of the previous 3 looks. Still, it needs even more. Maybe if the lace was in a different tone than the dress?

This one I love. The jumpsuit is nice but the star here is the cape. It falls beautifully around her shoulders and arms and scoops around her neck wonderfully. The only problem is that this should be a low point in a collection in terms of amount of design, not a high.

She’s a majorette. The dress is ok but that jacket is hideous. The horizontal lines are cutting her off at too many places.I

I love the sudden pop of super saturation. It’s the same cut on top as many of his other dresses but I enjoy the mix of fabrics. I wish he had continued that into the skirt.

And then this comes out of nowhere in the collection. I kind of enjoy it just because I was so bored by everything else. I don’t think he used the right fabric for the skirt or sleeves, it has too much structure for what he wanted. I would have loved to see more of this leather work in his collection, but overall it’s a bit too Ren Fair.

I. Love. This. Fabric. He only used it in 2 pieces but I would have loved it in about 5 or 6. And he knows how to work with it. The way it flows around her body and drapes down is amazing. The pleating is amazing. I need Santino to stay in this lane because this is where his strength lies.

His blue dress but in puce. I like the lines of the trim though and it seems much better executed.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes. He should have opened with this look and gone from there because this is by far the best look in the collection. The extra drape in the front is such a beautiful and understated edition. I just love it, possibly the best look of all 3 collections.

1. Chloe

Chloe deserved to win just because of the lack of imagination of Daniel and Santino. Still, it isn’t the best collection in the history of the show.

She had the best opener of any of the finalists. It is fun, cool, and most importantly, interesting. It’s a new take on a classic coat dress.

I haaaaate this print. I have never been a fan of dark green and pink and the floral looks dated, even for 2005. The actual dress is cute and a lot of girls would rock that silhouette.

The same ugly fabric but in a much more boring silhouette.

I’ve been on the fence about this dress, but I’m coming down on the side of quite liking it. The pleating on the bottom are something I’ve never seen before and I like the folding detailing of the shoulder. The fabric and sleeve length make it a bit grandma but overall its a success.

This is cute. The fabric could have easily gone grandam but the cuts make it young and fresh. The dress is cute but the shrug is amazing. The way the two pieces make a cutout in the back is sublime. She did a great job with volume in this collection.

This look I don’t like as much. It’s a little too stiff and stuffy and doesn’t match the easier fun attitude of the previous looks. The tuxedo stripe is problematic, she tried to be different by angling it to the pockets but it doesn’t work.

The same boring dress Santino made twice. The fabric is way too thick and stiff, it looks like maternity wear. You can tell this was her 13th look.

From the waist up I like it, a chic little cocktail dress. The color is also extremely rich. The fit and flair leaves a bit to be desired just because I’ve seen it so much. I wish should have taken the pleating from her 4th look and added it to more pieces, maybe this one.

In my opinion, the printed pieces in her collection were the least successful. The lace up top looks costumey and the shirt hits the model and an odd length, accentuating her hips.

Upon closer inspection it may not be a print but a lace overlay an odd choice considering the abundance of solids and lack of lace in the rest of her collection.

I have no clue where anyone would wear this dress. The front is too stuffy for a cocktail party but the back is completely inappropriate for the workplace. I love the power of the cobalt blue though, she looks powerful. The seams on the front make her look extremely tall and lean.

I am really not responding well to the print’s that she chose. This looks like random islands or a deconstructed globe. Aside from that it is the same basic empire waist dress I’ve been harping on, but this time in a maxi.

I don’t mind the print as much here because a lot of the focus is on the gorgeous cobalt blue. The sleeves and back make this dress. The rest is a bit underwhelming.

This is a strong second to last dress, but I would never use it as a closer. This shows a restrained and edited design eye but doesn’t scream “this is who I am as a designer”. I really have no issues with the actual dress, and the back is fantastic.

A well deserved win for Chloe, even if it was by default.

#project runway #projectrunway #project runway season 2

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journeysintowebcomics · 7 years

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Homestuck Liveblog #170

UPDATE 170: Dave Gets His Epiphany

Last time Hussie had decided it was time to pour even more dialogue onto the readers, since last time it hadn’t been enough, hah! Ten different dialogue options – presented linearly, in a subversion of how this usually goes. So let’s continue with what may or may not be the last chance these characters have of talking to each other before the fights.

So I heard that hovering over the options one already cleared would show images, and that was right! There are images. It seems Dave and Dirk continue just...lying around awkwardly, and Vriska and her ghost are arguing while Meenah fantasizes about varied stuff. There’s more than can be done, although the very next option is Roxy being alone. She’s still trying to create the matriorb. Calliope is sitting right in front of her, in silent support role. Roxy channels the universe and Alternia’s complicated state of matters, and...

Well! Mission accomplished! That was easier than I thought it’d be, even with Calliope’s silent help. I suppose there wasn’t more time for delaying this any longer. Kanaya is going to be immensely happy the troll race will be resurrected now. This was a short detour, completely devoid of words but with a significant development – at least to complete quite some part of Roxy and Kanaya’s arcs and goals in this story.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Roxy and Calliope leave right when the bizarre combination that is Jasprosesprite arrives to hassle Jane for a while longer. I’m crossing my fingers this’ll be quick and painless.

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Miss me Rose? JASPROSESPRITE^2: Did you know I love you?? Weird thing for me to say and you to hear, probably! JASPROSESPRITE^2: I inherited the adoration our cat had for you, which now strangely is directed with the exact same intensity at myself, because I'm you! JASPROSESPRITE^2: Funnily enough this manifests itself in a particularly acute form of narcissism, which is something we were already sort of afflicted by, and so was our cat by the very nature of the sort of animal he was! JASPROSESPRITE^2: The bottom line is I'm pretty twisted up inside in all the most beautiful ways and it's wonderful. ROSE: It really isn't.

Haha, okay, that one was actually pretty funny. She’s not wrong, Rose, you do tend to have slight traces of narcissism in your personality. Guess that all the increased narcissism in this sprite is what makes it have absolutely no brain-mouth filter, what with having an inflated sense of the self and what one says. Being a cat can’t help that either.

Now that Jasperosesprite made the customary hassling towards Rose, she gets straight to business about the battle plan. She has to arrange with Jane how it’ll be done, after all. This is achieved by taking Jane away without even giving her a moment to prepare. There’s someone she needs to meet, somebody in Jane’s planet.

Ah, true, the denizen. The New Wonderkids’ session was rather lacking in information about the denizens, especially since this session was meant to do pretty much nothing. Given Hussie’s track record so far, I’m almost completely sure that Jane’s talk with the denizen will happen off-screen and the characters will talk about it once it’s done, so...no more option than waiting until this is done!

Damn it , I have been bamboozled! Well played, Hussie, you had me fooled, I admit it. This could be good, though, not everyday you meet a senior version of yourself that’s dressed as a clown and...is the mother of your father. This is time-travel-gone-wrong levels of weird.

Aw, come on, Hussie, I wanted to see this! But nope, just when Nannasprite got in front of Jane the section ended and went to the next. Oh well. I’m really hoping I’ll have the chance to see how this goes, but I’m not going to hold my breath over it. The scribbled images of what the rest of the options are doing show John and Terezi discussing how Rose could have a black romance status with, uh, a version of herself. Yeeeeeeah no, let’s not do that. Doesn’t seem healthy – just ask Karkat, it’d be a headache.

About Roxy and Calliope, they just arrived to what I think is Jade’s planet, and Calliope is told to stay with Jade. I had completely forgotten Jade is still asleep. It’s once again said that it’s nice to have Calliope around. And...that was it! I just summarized around six or so pages in this very short paragraph.

I think that goes way beyond the realm of kismesis behavior Rose...and out of the realm of sanity as well. Stay away from any copies of the Sassacre book, resist the temptation. Anyways, Dave and Dirk are still here. Going to try to talk again? They’re focusing more on the battle to come than on anything else. Hah! No progress on the heartfelt conversation front, apparently.

DAVE: hes got lord english powers tho

It could be a way to know how well a fight against Lord English would go, then. Sure, Union Jack is completely different, less bulky, has no time powers, and presumably has one single personality in that noggin of his instead of being a weird amalgamation, but it’d be a way to see if they are ready to fight against Lord English. Think of it as having training wheels on your bike.

Swords can’t help you solve problems with people, who’d have thought. Dirk and Jake are the closest example to how someone who has spent their formative years alone and without the presence of people around would behave: with no social skills at all. Jade got very lucky in that regard, she is very well-balanced for someone who grew on an island and only had a dog for company. Then again, her Dreamself must have been of help, the Prospitians must have helped her have some people skills.

DIRK: ... DAVE: ...

Nothing has changed here.

It takes a few pages more before Dirk takes the plunge headfirst down the emotional cliff, with all the grace of a novice. It does get the conversation going, mostly about how this isn’t how he pictured the meeting going.

DIRK: Maybe you'll think it's weird that I idolized some version of you that I never knew.

These two are much more similar than they each realize. Their upbringings aren’t that different, heck, I’d say that Lil’ Hal fulfilled the role Bro had, just with less sword attacks. Other than that it was pretty much the same, an isolated life with an aloof person/glasses in the vicinity. Come on, Dave, admit you idolized Bro. That’d be a great step towards turning the page in your life and bonding with Dirk, you can do it!

DAVE: ive got to say DAVE: meeting you DAVE: its not rockin my world here DAVE: or upending any paradigms or whatever DAVE: listening to you and looking at you DAVE: it really really just DAVE: reminds me of him

Close enough! I’m a bit downtrodden there was no exchange of words between Bro and Dave so I could have a reference on how similar this actual situation is to how they got along. I imagine Bro wasn’t that different from Dirk.

DIRK: Things, between you and me, from your perspective, um, DIRK: Are we like, not cool? DAVE: ..................

I’m not sure if it’s telling or not that there was no ‘yeah’ or similar quick response.

DAVE: i didnt fuckin like you that much ok?

...

...okay, that isn’t how I thought it’d go. I suppose there’s a difference between idolizing and actually liking a person. Good for you for saying it aloud, Dave. It must have been very difficult to say to anybody, even more to a version of your brother.

After a sequence of images meant to show how little time passed between Dave going “I don’t want to talk about it” to “okay heres what im saying” he finally starts...and boy is it tough.

DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me DAVE: but thats not how it was

That’s pretty much how kids and teenagers are, they complain and don’t realize sometimes such complaints aren’t about things as bad as they could be. Leaving behind such behavior is part of growing up. Dave didn’t realize how badly he was being treated, though, he just saw no difference between his life and the lives of the rest of his friends – at first.

DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?! DAVE: i dont come away with the impression i used to try convincing myself of, that he was like "mysterious" or "stern" or "aloof" DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me

...hated you? Hm...honestly? I don’t know. Bro’s way of raising Dave had a lot of things wrong, and I really don’t know how to interpret it. I’m interested on knowing how other people interpreted it. Would you mind telling me your thoughts, everyone? I really don’t know what to think about this.

Dirk actually sounds horrified about what he’s hearing. Perhaps he doesn’t like the thought of his equivalent doing this all?

DAVE: it took years to deconstruct it all and put it back together to understand how fuckin mad i should be DAVE: and in particular how stone cold deeply uncared for i was my whole life DAVE: like... being merely "monitored" by a violent robot

Haha...you know what this brought to mind? What went through my head right when I read this part?

TT: Don't worry, that's normal. TT: Upon activation he goes into Stalking Mode. GT: Stalking mode?? TT: Yes. He will stalk you in the jungle and strike when your guard is down.

It’s exactly that. Dave pretty much described the robot Dirk made and sent to Jake. It’s pretty much the same in terms of how Dave was raised! Wow, Hussie, did you do this on purpose? I think you did this on purpose! Dave may as well have been raised by the brobot thing, and just like Jake – who dreaded encountering it and once he had to fight it didn’t precisely have loads of fun – Dave now doesn’t want to fight. He wants to avoid this fighting thing, and hates that he has to be the one to grab the sword and slay the villain.

You seriously screwed up here, Bro.

Dave even brings up that maybe things would have been better if Lil’ Cal hadn’t been around. Maybe! The influence of Lord English can’t be an ingredient in a healthy household – even more since part of Lord English is once another version of Dirk. Hah! Life sucks for the Striders. It’s...it’s rather depressing, actually. I wonder if at the time they had to cram Caliborn into the puppet Dave realized what Lil’ Cal was. Even if he did, I doubt he’d have any kind of reaction when anyone was nearby, but at that moment I imagine many things clicked in Dave’s head.

Would Bro have been any different if that puppet of the damned hadn’t been around? Uh...I dunno. Maybe it really was a poisonous influence of some sort, influence Dirk was lucky not to have. It’s all up to interpretation, I’d say.

I think now that the epiphany is complete I can stop the update and continue next time. This, though, this is exactly what I was hoping the Striders would do, that at least one of them would unload this heavy emotional baggage, and it’s for the better! I’m glad it’s actually happening.

Next update: three updates

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomic liveblog

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charliesangelspathfinder · 7 years

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Bivir’s character questionaire

Part One: The Basics

1. What is your name?

Biviristuon of the Metias Tribe

2. Do you have any nicknames? If you do, who gave it to you and why?

Bivir – Solange had a great amount of difficulty pronouncing my full name, so I shortened it. It caught on, and it grew on me.

3. How old are you now?

122.

4. When were you born?

Early February?

4. Where do you call home now?

Thuvia. For now.

5. To what social class do you belong?

In my tribe, there are none of those, really. We live as a community. Here? I suppose my social class would be ‘Faraveni elf’

6. What is your eye color?

They are grey, like my mother’s.

7. What is your hair color?

Black, like my mother’s, but straight, like my father’s.

8. Do you have any distinguishing facial features?

I have a birthmark on my lower lip and a deep scar across my nose. Also, I think being beautiful is a very distinguishing feature.

9. Do you have any birthmarks? Where are they?

A good amount – some on my hands, arms, torso, one on my face – many to count.

10. Do you have any scars? How did you get them?

There are the shackle marks on my wrists and ankles, and there’s the scar across my nose from harassing a merchant. There is also a deep scar on my lower back, from a situation four and a half years back.

11. Do you have any tattoos or other markings? How and why did you get them?

No, but I cannot wait to get some.

12. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

I am allergic to strawberries! And having lost fingers has sucked thus far.

13. Are you right or left handed?

Right handed!

14. What does your voice sound like?

My voice is a little on the low side, and my accent is pretty thick when I speak common. I speak with firmness and decisiveness.

15. How do you dress most of the time?

As little as possible, haha! It intimidates those who would be apprehensive, and intrigues those who are interested.

16. How do you dress up?

A vest to hide the scar on my back, some pretty jewelry. I think that will be fine.

17. How do you dress down?

Putting on a shirt. It makes me much plainer.

18. What do you wear when you go to sleep?

Very little! Usually just underwear.

19. Do you wear any jewelry?

There are ten piercings on my ears and one on my nose. I also have some necklaces I sometimes wear. I try to consider my bracers jewelry.

20. What words and/or phrases do you use frequently?

Variety is the most lovely gift that can be given to someone – I try to make each word new. It is difficult, in Common….

21. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

I would rather not think I do, but I suppose it might irritate people if they think I do not take anything seriously. I do – I just choose what I consider actually important and take that seriously. Other things – if you take everything seriously, then you will live a life stressed and joyless.

22. Do you have any bad habits? If so, what are they and how do you plan to get rid of them?

I tug on my hair – but I’ve learned to instead tug on my clothes. Sometimes I forget, though, you know?

23. Do you have a lifelong dream or aspiration?

An elven life is a long thing – I must first take my short and long term goals and make them reality, for if I abandon my simpler goals in order for a lifelong aspiration, then everything between now and it’s completion will be so empty and meaningless. I would rather be happy with my current goals.

24. Do you own a car (or other form of transportation)? Why or why not? Describe it.

What’s a car?

25. What is your current state of mind?

Bad! Very bad. But it would be much worse without my friends here. I cannot imagine what I’d do without them.

Part Two: Family

26. How close are you to your family?

My whole tribe is my family – and I know them all very well and care for them deeply. I wish they did not place so much importance in me – they expect the greatest things of me, they believe I am fated for greatness, but I care for them all deeply.

27. Do you have a spouse or significant other? Describe them.

Ah, no, I’m afraid not. But one day I will, yes? And that lucky, lucky person will know how loved they are every moment.

28. Have you started your own family? Describe them if you do. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

One day, perhaps. If who I’m with would like one, of course. Otherwise, I will simply bolster the raising of my cousins’ children.

29. Who was your Father and what was he like?

He is a quiet, calm city elf. And he is alive! He cannot hear well, and he likes plants. He brought some seeds from his faraway city, and he grows them in little pots. He is not the most productive member of the tribe, since he gets stressed easily and breaks down, but he does what he can when he can.

30. Who was your Mother and what was she like?

She is also alive. She is very pretty and full of life, and she is the tribe’s woodshaper. We do not have much wood available, but she makes do with what we have and trade for.

31. Who are you closest to in your family?

I have no siblings, so my mother.

32. Is there someone in your family you wish you were closer to?

My younger cousins – they look up to me, but it is hard to get close to them when they expect me to be the most important person the tribe will ever produce.

33. What was your parent’s marriage like?

They never got married, but they are still together.

34. Did they remain married? If not, how did that affect you? When did they split?

They were never married….

35. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Nope!

36. What is the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you?

I lack those.

37. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to one of your siblings?

I still lack those.

38. When’s the last time you saw a member of your family? Where are they now?

Some five years and change. They are likely to still be in the hunting grounds – they do not have a particularly large range, since Faraven is small.

39. Did you meet any other family members? (Aunts Uncles, etc) Describe them.

My entire clan is my family – how would you describe your entire world?

Part Three: Friends and Relationships with Others

40. In general, how do you treat other people that you have just met?

Treat strangers very well, with open arms and heart – that is how you will make friends and allies. Otherwise opens yourself to making enemies.

41. Does your treatment of people change depending on how well you know them and if so how?

Of course – once I am someone’s friend, I am their friend for life. I give everyone my trust, but to know someone well is to have my loyalty.

42. Who is the most important person in your life and why?

I think of my friends as the most important people in my life.

43. Who is the person you respect the most and why?

Myself. Because if I do not respect me, who else will? And I am worthy of respect.

44. Who are your friends? Describe them.

There is Vita, moody but smart. She is full of determination, very intelligent, and incredibly firm. She isn’t great at having fun, but she seems to like making sure everyone’s taken care of. There is Solange, beautiful but horrifyingly serious. She rarely has fun, and seems to disdain trying to have it. I worry for her and keep a close eye. Alex is good fun, impulsive but sweet, and he is probably the only of my friends who I need to be sure to rein in, out of fear for his health. He does get difficult about that, at times. Evania, his sister, is a good balance to me, she is determined and just, though I do not know her well yet I am eager to know her better.

46. Do you have a best friend? Describe them.

I would say Aster is my closest friend – together we can have great fun, but we can also support each other when we need it. It is good to have him!

47. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Depends on the trouble. If I needed healing, Aster. If I needed defense, Solange. If I were in economic trouble, Alex. If I needed more practical help, Vita. If I needed someone to back me up, Evania.

48. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who and why?

I would trust any of my friends to.

49. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

I certainly hope everybody would! It would make me very sad if they did not.

50. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

That Giselle woman.

51. Do you tend to argue with people or avoid conflict?

I avoid arguing – I prefer to talk through the logic of the other and deconstruct it if I need to.

52. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

I’m well known for it.

53. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

I love it! To be surrounded by people gives me great energy.

54. Do you care what others think of you?

Of course I do – if you are hated by all, what is the point of being where you are? When that is just ruining everyone’s time.

55. What habit do others have that annoys you the most?

I do not like people who whistle. It hurts my ears.

56. What is the most important quality you look for in a friend?

A good heart. That is vital – if there is poison hidden there, that can spread to those around you.

57. What do you most value in your friends?

I value their individuality. They are very different, and their difference makes me love them fiercely and differently as individuals.

Part Four: Growing Up (Childhood)

58. Where were you born?

A little hut on the northern coast of Dimp. I didn’t survive, but I was alright afterwards.

59. Where did you grow up?

The northern coast of Dimp!

60. How would you describe your childhood in general?

Ah, it was very pressured. They expected great things from me, since I survived death itself.

61. What is your earliest memory?

My mother, telling me how important I was.

62. What is your fondest childhood memory?

Hmm, I would like it very much when there would be soups and we would wrap ourselves in blankets and my mother would sing. It happened many times, but each time was a good time.

63. What is your worst childhood memory?

How harshly I was punished after faking difficulty reading for thirty years….

64. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I have always wanted to be an artist.

65. As a child, what were your favorite activities?

I took to dance like birds take to air, but I also loved helping my mother with her woodworking.

66. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

I was very serious! It made me miserable, but seriousness was what was expected of me.

67. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

I wouldn’t say this question is very applicable.

68. As a child, what was your favorite toy?

I had a wooden bird my mother carved me. It was made of such thin, lightweight wood, that on windy days, I could fly it like a kite.

69. As a child, what was your favorite game to play?

My father would always play signed word games with me. We would make silly stories by slurring signs together and whoever laughed first lost.

Part Five: Growing Up (Teen/Young Adult)

70. How much schooling have you had?

I would not call it schooling, but I was taught.

71. Did you enjoy school?

No! I hated it, especially at first. But as I grew, I got more and more intrigued with what knowing things was like.

72. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

From the individuals most advanced in those skills, within the tribe. My mother taught me her woodwork, the master hunter taught me the weapons I learned and how to work with animal corpses. Our master herbalist taught me medicine, and our ceremonial dancer taught me dance.

73. While growing up, did you have any role models other than your parents? Describe them.

Role models are to be found in almost everyone. I would think it’s foolish to limit yourself to one’s parents, or to only specific people around you. Most everyone has traits worth emulation.

74. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

The pressure was difficult. But I loved them all the same.

75. How old were you when you went on your first date? Describe the date.

I wouldn’t really say I’ve been on any real dates. Though not for lack of trying.

76. What is your favorite memory from your teen years?

I would say my happiest memory from adolescence was being bequeathed an herbalist’s pouch and tools of my own, having been deemed finally good enough with the tools of the trade to have warranted my very own.

77. What is your worst memory from your teen years?

I had made a foolish mistake while hunting, and was nearly run off a cliff by a large boar. The master hunter tore into me verbally, so loudly they heard it in the village – how I was their hope for the future, and how I could not die without performing my destiny. Everyone was furious at me. I left not long after. I’ll return when they’ve forgiven, I suppose.

78. When and with whom was your first kiss?

Some five years or so ago, on the top-top of a clock tower, with my friend Solange.

79. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

Not terribly long after the kiss, with Solange.

80. Describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

Everything was shaped by my death. It made a strong impression, apparently.

Part Six: Past Influences

81. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

My decision to leave to seek a lover certainly made a huge difference. Well, more specifically, being captured shortly after…

82. Who has had the most influence on you?

My mother – it is not hard to tell.

83. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

NHAAS. I am proud of what it’s become.

84. What is your greatest regret?

I am currently regretting needing to leave NHAAS – though I will never regret doing what I’ve done to get it where it is.

85. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Evil is a manner of perspective. From some people’s perspectives? Destruction of property. From mine? Stealing a peach from the NHAAS pantry after a long day’s work.

86. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

Certainly. But I do not consider what I have done very bad.

87. When was the time you were the most frightened?

It is either when I was captured by slavers, or when I was restrained by Merab city guards, or when I was captured by Jean… I seem to get captured often. That is something I need to work on.

88. What is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?

I consider it very embarrassing when I am sleeping platonically with a friend and wake up with a raging erection.

89. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

Hmmm… Not sure. I happen to like my life, and everything has a ripple effect.

90. What is your best memory?

When I first started getting a good grasp on Common, I decided to go with Vita to help shopping, and her face lit up when I told the grocer exactly what she needed in perfect common. Her face lit up and that is not a gift I often see.

91. What is your worst memory?

Ah, probably the surgery after the situation nearly five years back. I was not allowed anesthesia because they wanted to save that for non-elves, and when I pulled out my own numbing medicines, they refused to treat me if I used them. It was very painful.

92. When and where were you the happiest?

I am happiest among my friends, where I can be happy and free.

Part Seven: Beliefs and Opinions

93. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?

I am an optimist.

94. What is your greatest fear?

What is fear but an extension of insecurities? I am afraid that I am not enough.

95. Have you told any one your fear before?

No – because then they would feel they have not done enough for me.

96. Who would be the one person you’d never tell your fear?

Solange. She is, in part, one who has caused it.

97. What are your religious views?

It seems overrated, but many think I am special on a religious level. I do not really approve or agree.

98. What are your political views?

All should have as they need. Hierarchies for the sake of hierarchies need to be dissembled. That’s all there is to it.

99. What are your views on sex?

If it is mutually desired, go on and have it. Keep it safe, and continuously check in.

100. Are you able to kill?

I… do not know. Recently I came close. The thought puts a bad taste in my mouth, but I have killed animals before.

101. Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

I need to reassess how I feel about the thought.

102. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

To disempower someone in any way.

103. Do you believe in the existence of soulmates and/or true love?

Of course I do – and I cannot wait to experience it.

104. What do you believe makes a successful life?

To, when you’re finished with it, be at peace with the decisions you’ve made.

105. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings? (Meaning do you hide your true self from others and in what way?)

I do hide how I feel – frequently for the sakes of others.

106. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

I grow more and more afraid of humans every time I have a run-in. From what I’ve seen – they rarely stand up for their fellows.

107. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why?

Under any circumstances would limit me.

108. Who or what, if anything, would you die for? (or go to extremes for?)

If I had to die for NHAAS to continue, or get stronger, I would.

109. What is your best feature, in your opinion?

Well, once, it was my hands. Now I suppose it should be my eyes.

110. What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Are there any types that people should never do? Why or why not?

Everything in moderation – and with care taken. I do get weak at times, myself…

111. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

To have a simple life, to be satisfied with your direction, to know who you are and where you’re going.

112. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

When everything is complicated, to feel like you have not, and will never, do enough, to be filled with questions, and to be alone.

Part Eight: Likes and Dislikes

113. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Dance is my passion! I also enjoy woodcarving and being social.

114. What is your most treasured possession?

I treasure my herbalism pouch.

115. What is your favorite color? Why?

I like soft, light greens. They are calming and serene.

116. What is your least favorite color? Why?

I do not like mauve – it is a very violent feeling color.

117. What is your favorite food? Why?

A Thuvian dish called bouillabaisse has grown on me – I love fish very dearly, and find soups and stews comforting.

118. What is your least favorite food? Why?

Strawberries! They make it very hard to breathe.

119. What is your favorite sound? Why?

I like the sound of waves on the shore. It reminds me of home.

120. What is your least favorite sound? Why?

People whistling. It hurts my ears….

121. What is your favorite smell/scent? Why?

The smell of soap. If I am close enough to someone to smell soap, then everything is going well.

122. What is your least favorite smell/scent? Why?

Anything regarding restrooms. It makes me nauseous!

123. What, if anything, do you like to read?

I enjoy a good book – nonfiction, usually, if it’s something entertaining, little-known, or medical.

124. What is your idea of good entertainment?

All you need is good company and a good mood. Anything else is an added bonus. To salvage a bad mood, all you need is me and a song.

125. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

Hard working for the NHAAS – or dancing. Depends what is needed.

126. What makes you laugh?

Just being in a good mood is enough!

127. What makes you laugh out loud, hysterically?

I enjoy a good joke as much as anyone.

128. What makes you cry?

I do not cry.

129. What makes you cry, hysterically?

I do not cry.

130. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

I am shocked most by violence.

131. What would you do if you couldn’t sleep and had to find something to amuse yourself?

Jerk off.

132. How do you deal with stress?

Internalize it.

133. Are you spontaneous or do you always need to have a plan?

I can come up with a plan spontaneously, if need be.

134. What are your pet peeves?

Whistling! And also people not washing their hands.

135. Where do you go when you’re angry or depressed?

Anywhere where I can dance the night away!

136. What do you do when you’re bored?

I reorganize my herbs!

137. What type of music do you like? Favorite bands or musicians?

Anything Aster plays is the best in my book- because not only is it good, it was made by a friend, and then I am also proud.

139. What song is “your song”? Why?

Any song that is on.

142. What is your favorite stage play? Why?

I haven’t seen any!

143. What is your least favorite stage play? Why?

Still haven’t seen any.

144. What is your favorite book? Why?

Mmm, I generally enjoy a little pocket guide to birds, because it is always nice to know… Birds.

145. What is your least favorite book? Why?

I do not like books about the Thuvian machines! I tried to learn so I could also help Vita, if she were hurt, but they hurt my head and were far out of my realm of experience.

149. What annoys you more than anything else?

Have I mentioned I hate it when people whistle.

150. What time of day is your favorite? Why?

Around 11pm! A great time for sex – you can just go to sleep after cleaning up and everything feels very good when you wake up.

151. What time of day is your least favorite? Why?

3am – if I am awake then, it means I’ve had a particularly bad nightmare and am exhausted enough that I cannot sleep.

152. What kind of weather is your favorite? Why?

Rain! It is a good time to gather everyone and simply talk.

153. What kind of weather is your least favorite? Why?

When the sun beams down! It is miserable.

154. What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?

I have seen all around Merab from the top of it’s clock tower – it is stunning, especially on a clear or foggy day.

155. What is the most awful thing you have ever seen?

Likely, my own severed fingers.

156. What is your favorite drink? Why?

I like a good red wine, and fruit juices as well. Then again, from a certain point of view, wine is fruit juice...

157. What is your least favorite drink? Why?

Beer. It is horribly bitter.

158. What is your favorite animal? Why?

I find the cutest things to be Chinchillas. I would maybe like one as a pet, given the opportunity.

159. What is your least favorite animal? Why?

I am not fond of boars!

160. What sorts of things embarrass you?

Morning wood is triply embarrassing when you wake up from a nightmare.

Part Nine: Self Image

161. Describe a normal day for you.

I do not have much of a routine – I do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.

162. How do you feel when your routine is disrupted?

Once it is disrupted, I find a new pattern to settle into. No big loss!

163. What is your greatest strength as a person?

I am incredibly loving.

164. What is your greatest weakness?

I am… incredibly loving.

165. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Changing perfection seems like a great folly to me.

166. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted. It’s a bit obvious.

167. Are you generally organized or messy?

Pretty organized, I’d say.

168. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at.

Ah? I would say that I am good with people, good with art, and good at thinking through things.

169. Name three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Being straightforward with feelings, arguing, and pulling myself together.

170. What are your reasons for being an adventurer or heroic? Are your real reasons different than the ones you tell other people in public? If so, detail both reasons.

I would not consider myself an adventurer or heroic – only someone who goes where they will go and do what needs doing.

171. What three words best describe your personality?

Very fucking excellent!

172. What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Extroverted, personable, artistic?

173. What about you is heroic?

Did I mention I do not think of myself heroic? I did.

174. Are you a better leader or follower? Why?

I am a leader – I make decisions when decisions need to be made, and I am good with people.

175. What is your responsibility to the world? Why?

It is everyone’s responsibility to do anything they can to contribute to the wellbeing of all.

176. What do you like about yourself?

I have a good heart, I’m, physically speaking, stunning, and I am a good artist.

177. What don’t you like about yourself?

I think that I am possibly, probably… difficult to love.

178. What do you find most relaxing? (not stress relief, but something that actually calms you down.)

Dancing… It is what clears my mind.

179. What talent would you most like to have?

I would like my woodcarving talent back.

Part Ten: Occupation & Finance

180. What is your occupation? (If you don’t have one, where does your money come from?)

I do odd jobs for my friends, most of the time. There are not many in Thuvia willing to hire a Faraveni elf, and I prefer doing things for people I like, anyway.

181. Do you like your job?

Yes. It is very flexible, and I prefer working for those I trust.

182. What is your boss/employer like?

They’re all great!

183. What are your co-workers like?

They’re my friends.

184. Do you get along with your co-workers?

Of course!

185. Which co-workers don’t you get along with and why?

How dare you imply I don’t get along with my friends.

186. What is something you had to learn that you hated?

Ah, working with the forge is a real pain. It is unpleasantly hot and needs cleaning often…

187. Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why?

I tend to give my spare to NHAAS… So.

188. If you were to gain an obscenely large sum of money, what would you do with it?

Hm. Well, there are some magical objects I’ve always heard of and wanted to acquire… But other than that? NHAAS.

Part Eleven: Drug & Alcohol

189. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If yes, why? Do you want to quit?

I do drink, and I have managed pain with herbs in the past. But only socially and medically… Mostly.

190. How old were you when you had your first drink? Did you like it? Why or why not? I was roughly 94, and I did like it – we’d gotten it as a bonus for having a good trading relationships with some merchants, and we split it among everyone. I was not yet accustomed to it, and spat out my sip. However, I liked the smell, and proceeded to sniff it until my mother confiscated it.

191. How old were you when you first got drunk? What was the experience like?

Much older – 119, and it went…. Alright. I was a bit of a lightweight, so it happened quickly. A drinking contest with Solange, yes? Well, she drank me under the table, and I blacked out in short order.

192. Do you drink on a regular basis?

Socially, only.

193. What kind of alcohol do you prefer?

Red wine.

194. Have you ever tried any kind of “mood altering” substance? Which ones? Describe the experience.

Weed, certainly. Mostly for medical reasons.

Part Twelve: Sex & Intimacy

195. Have you ever been in love? What happened?

No.

196. Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yes – one doesn’t need to be in love to feel heartbreak.

197. Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?

What is this?

198. Who was the first person you had sex with? When did it happen? Describe the experience.

It was Solange, again, and I would rather not describe it given recent events.

199. Have you ever had a same-sex experience? Describe the experience.

What is this?!?!?

200. What is your deepest, most well-hidden sexual fantasy? Would you ever try it?

I – what? I don’t really consider it hidden, but I’ve always been interested in the possibility of a session that is entirely me going down on someone. Just to show I care, yes?

201. What was the wildest thing you have done, sexually? Describe the experience.

The wildest thing I’ve ever done is try reading some of Alex’s porn. It was… bad. As an experience. I did not enjoy it. I do not ever want to repeat that experience. I got a little nauseous.

202. Is there any sexual activity that you enjoy and/or practice that can be considered non-standard? Why do you like it?

I wouldn’t know what is and isn’t standard, given that I haven’t really explored overmuch.

203. Do you currently have a lover? Describe them, what you are attracted to, and what the relationship is like.

I would currently say no – I suppose Aster might qualify, but I don’t really think, at this point in my life, that I’m quite recovered enough to continue having one at the moment.

204. What is the perfect romantic date?

To spend an evening together, eat, dance, talk! Then go home and spend more time together. End the night with some form of passion – I would most enjoy simply to kiss. Anything else can come after.

205. Describe your perfect partner.

Someone firm and grounded, but not unkind. Someone reliable, who I can open up to, someone who really, sincerely does want me. Someone who isn’t upset at how much I like to lay back and enjoy life.

206. Do you ever want to get married? When do you see this happening?

I would like to, certainly. The timeframe entirely depends on fate, I suppose.

207. Do you want children? Why or why not?

Eventually, certainly. I very much enjoy having family, and would like more of it. I think I would be good to have, as a parent.

208. What is more important, sex or intimacy? Why?

Intimacy. I know that answer will surprise, but it is true. I do not see much point in sex other than children or as a vessel for intimacy or passion. Or as a vessel for attempting intimacy or passion.

209. What was your most recent romantic relationship like? Who was it with?

I would not categorize any relationship I’ve been is as romantic.

210. What’s the worst thing you’ve done to someone you love?

…Hrm. I have not been in love, but I love those I surround myself with. I have probably spent a disproportionate amount of time telling Alex in far from privacy that no, eggs are actually pretty gross.

Part Thirteen: Morality

211. What one act in your past are you most ashamed of?

To feel shame is a wasted day.

212. What one act in your past are you most proud of?

I am proud of forming NHAAS.

213. Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Over what, with who, and who won?

Of course – I’ve won some, I’ve lost most, but I fight for what I consider important.

214. What do you feel most strongly about?

I feel strongly about my place in the world – to go where I am led by my own nature and by things out of my control.

215. What do you pretend to feel strongly about, just to impress people?

I have, many times, pretended to have a very cultured wine palate to attempt impressing Thuvians. Turns out that you can fake it until you get there.

216. What trait do you find most admirable and how often do you find it?

Good people are rare, it seems, but I’ve found many, especially recently.

217. Is there anything you think should not be incorporated into the media or arts? (i.e., sex, violence, etc). What and why or why not?

For art to be violent is, in itself, a form of violence, and I would like there to be less of it.

218. Do you think the future is hopeful? Why or why not?

Yes – there is always hope, and things are not irredeemably bad yet. I suppose it’s in my name.

219. Do you think redemption is possible? Why or why not?

Redemption is always possible unless it is not desired.

220. Is there something you think is absolutely unforgivable? What is it?

I consider torture or bondage of any form to be unforgivable.

221. Is it okay for men to cry?

What’s a men? Also, certainly.

222. Is it okay for you to cry?

Absolutely not.

223. What do you think is wrong with most people, overall?

They do not care enough about others.

224. What is the worst thing you could ever do to someone you hated?

….I do not fully understand the question. I suppose, within my own ethics… Ask them to a date and stand them up.

225. Do you have feelings that disturb you? What and why?

Of course. I find my own sorrow quite disturbing.

226. On what occasions do you lie?

To ask how I feel… I find that very personal.

227. Do you think it is okay to lie?

No.

Part Fifteen: Goals and Future

235. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Ah, I do not like setting imperative goals. Though, finding someone so that I can return home is beginning to sound good.

236. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Such a short time? That is hard to say.

237. If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Hmm… That is hard to say. Something quick, but I would be conscious and know. I would not want to die unaware that I am dying.

238. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

That is frightening! A day is far too short to get anything done at all!

239. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

To have been really, and truly good to have had.

Part Sixteen: Misc.

240. If you could, what advice would you, the hero, give to the villain? Or If you could, why would you, the villain want the hero to be at your side or part of your team?

I would not call myself a hero.

241. What was the worst injury you’ve ever received? How did it happen?

I was stabbed in the back, very painfully, and I do not enjoy talking about it.

242. How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?

I am ticklish in the feet. Do not touch my feet!

243. What would you wish for if you ever found a genie?

Wishes? I suppose this would be the classic three wishes. Hmm… I would want Giselle LaRue to die, I would destroy the concept of capitalism, and I would use my last wish to bring back my fingers – I do not agree with how they were taken.

244. If your house burned down, what one thing would you want to save?

My house!!!

245. Describe yourself sitting in your favorite spot.

I lean back with horrible posture, one knee on where I sit, an arm slung on top, one over the edge of the chair. I am alert and attractive, and my eyes are bright.

246. How do you go to sleep and how do you wake up? (position, routine, etc)

I do not enjoy talking about sleeping.

247. What is a dream (during sleep) that you have often?

Good fucking question.

248. What is a day dream that you have often?

Being held very gently.

249. If you were to die and come back as any person or thing, what or who would you want to be?

Myself? I’ve done that before, I can and will do it again.

250. What is your motto?

To repeat yourself is trite.

251. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

Back in Faraven! I haven’t been many other places, and Thuvia is…. Terrible.

253. If you could go back to any point in history and change something, what would it be?

I do not wish to change the fated course of history.

#Bivir #Q&A

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highandlowculture · 7 years

Text

A (Sort of) Reappraisal of Metallica’s Load & Re-Load

The much-maligned second disc of Metallica’s Hardwired... To Self-Destruct has grown on me.

A bit.

As such, I thought it only fair to give Load and Re-Load a reappraisal. After all, like many fans, I’ve criticized Hardwired’s second disc for being too sluggish, meatheaded and overall Load-ish (whereas the first disc is Grade A thrash and classic metal). My relationship with Load and Re-Load has been shaky at best. Sometimes I think they’re underrated, but oftentimes I think they’re bloated and drag. When Load was dropped in 1996 I was over Metallica and most mainstream rock music. MTV and the airwaves were glutted with corporate grunge and ska (all of which could be labeled “Alternative” by kids shopping at Hot Topic). It was a shit time for rock music. I had turned to hip-hop and old funk albums. Most of my beloved metal bands from my teen years had turned into trend-followers rather than trend-setters. And even if some of these albums I’ve grown to love in recent years, let’s face it: Megadeth, Testament and even Overkill slowed down their music. Thrash was dead. Metal, for the most part, was dead. Mötley Crüe and Anthrax not only drastically changed their sound, they made it a point to replace their lead vocalists with dudes who didn’t shout “1980s” so much. And, course, Metallica cut their hair and released Load: An album so slow and filled with wah-wah guitar solos, the band was quickly dubbed "Alternallica". Most people blame Nirvana and the Seattle grunge scene on metal’s identity crises in the mid 1990s, but it kind of started with, guess who?

Metallica.

Released months before Nirvana’s Nevermind and Soundgarden’s Bad Motorfinger, Metallica’s eponymous 1991 album (a.k.a. “The Black Album”) was ahead of the curve. The only breakthrough grunge album that predated The Black Album was Alice in Chains’ Facelift. There was a handful of bona fide grunge albums released by underground acts (Mudhoney, The Melvins and Sub-Pop era Nirvana), but the general public didn’t know they existed. To most people, it was Alice In Chains’ first big hit, “Man In The Box”, that lead to rumblings about the Seattle grunge scene (even though the song had more in common with Ozzy Osbourne than Buzz Osborne). Of course the first wave of grunge was initially considered an annex of metal; all of the Seattle bands’ videos had heavy rotation on Headbanger’s Ball right alongside thrash and hair metal bands. Thrash and grunge bands were more in alliance against the popular hair metal of the late 80s than they were against one another; both music scenes incorporated punk and classic metal elements; both were anti-image and strived for authenticity. But whereas grunge was simpler and ultimately more accessible, thrash was complex and sometimes progressive music.

Commercially, and perhaps creatively, Metallica took thrash to its utmost limits with 1989’s ...And Justice For All. Their subsequent decision to embrace slower tempos and more traditional song structures resulted in their biggest commercial success and a watershed moment in popular music. Not only was The Black Album chock-full of MTV hits, it introduced mainstream listeners to music far heavier than anything they had listened to before. The Black Album had set up Nevermind’s success, not the other way around. And you want to talk about grunge? “Sad But True” and “The God That Failed” are almost categorically grunge (the former essentially being a reworking of their 1988 song “Harvester of Sorrow”). So to suggest Metallica was jumping onto any kind of band wagon in 1996 is erroneous at best. They helped construct the wagon. I’d also argue that bands like Megadeth, Testament and Overkill were thinking “Black Album” with their subsequent, less thrashy albums moreso than Nevermind (Overkill’s I Hear Black being the strongest of these post Black Album releases IMO).

So The Black Album helped change popular music and possibly destroyed the burgeoning thrash movement.

Metallica weren’t following trends, they were setting them.

But does this make Load and Re-Load not suck?

At very least, you might think they suck for different reasons.

Keep in mind, by 1996 grunge had peaked. Kurt Cobain had been dead for a couple years. The first wave of Seattle bands were now being outsold by the likes of No Doubt and Alanis Morissette. If any of those flannel-wearing motherfuckers had a dream, it was over. This was the musical climate in which the Metallicats dropped their big Load on music listeners. It was an album recorded by rich men who had already made the myths (both creatively and commercially) and now could release any damn thing they pleased. Was anyone not going to buy Metallica’s long-awaited follow-up to The Black Album?

I didn’t at the time, but, y’know... most people did.

If Metallica was in any position, it was Guns N’ Roses’ position in 1991: When they released Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II.

And this is just one way Load and Re-Load are similar to the Use Your Illusion albums. I think the UYI albums are better than the Load albums. There are enough good songs on UYI I & II to justify two albums IMO. Load and Re-Load: Not so much. Still, there’s no denying the similarities: They’re both essentially a double album that was released in two parts (in Metallica’s case they simply waited a year to release the second part). The UYI and Load albums show both bands echoing 1970s classic rock (I’ll expand on this in a bit). UYI I and Load are both more accessible and hard-rock driven; UYI II and Re-Load are both darker and more experimental. Both set of albums divided fans upon release and they still do. The one area, however, where the UYI and Load eras differ is image. Whereas Guns N’ Roses essentially still looked like Guns N’ Roses, Metallica introduced an entirely new look with Load’s release. No doubt, this was one of the reasons hardcore fans felt betrayed in 1996. Metallica had short haircuts and dressed like the rich rock stars they now were! Obviously this had nothing to do with grunge; if anything it was more metal to dress flashy than it was to wear a flannel. No, the band didn’t look grungy.

They looked positively slick!

Yes, they were abandoning their anti-image ethos of the thrash era, but hadn’t that ethos already been co-opted by the grunge and subsequent “alternative rock” movement? By 1996, it was more rebellious to dress sharp and smoke cubans than it was to just wear jeans and a muscle shirt. That being said, Lars and Kirk’s decision to wear eyeliner was perhaps a bit much. At very least, it didn’t ring with sincerity, which I suspect is one of the main reasons it rubbed fans the wrong way. Maybe Lars thought it was cool to play Bowie and go theatrical, but James sure as hell didn’t like it (take note he didn’t put on the makeup at the time, only Lars and Kirk did). I’d argue that if the band had reintroduced themselves with “The Memory Remains” video rather than the “Until It Sleeps” video, they wouldn’t have polarized as many fans. Black dress shirts and sunglasses just say slick rocker dudes. They might be rich, but they still drink beer. Eyeliner and Hieronymus Bosch references say art snobs.

So their new image was half cool / half uncool.

And the music followed suit.

Out of the gate “Ain’t My Bitch” is a different Metallica, but rather than “Alternallica” I’d label them “Hard Rockallica”. This is just straight-up, down & dirty, rock ‘n’ roll. The type of music you can imagine playing in a biker bar. There’s a bluesy element, with even a slide guitar solo, that wasn’t present in their music before. It’s rootsy, but it’s not exactly their roots. James, like a lot of children of the 1970s, listened to Aerosmith, but by the time he was interacting with Lars in the early 80s it was all about the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal. Even Black Sabbath wasn’t a huge influence on Metallica in these early days; their influences were N.W.O.B.H.M. bands like Iron Maiden, Saxon, Venom and especially Diamond Head. That’s until Cliff Burton joined the group. I always find it funny when metalheads declare that Metallica wouldn’t have gone in the musical direction that they did in the 1990s if Cliff had lived. I guess they don’t know much about Cliff and his musical role in the band. In addition to being an innovative bassist who introduced the brash young band to classical music, Cliff also opened their minds to a lot of 1970s bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd and Blue Öyster Cult. Thus, I find it hard to imagine Cliff would take issue with the band diving deeper into southern rock and gonzo biker rock. Maybe the songs would’ve been stronger with him around, but the general direction wouldn’t have changed.

Anyway, “Aint‘ My Bitch” is a catchy enough rocker. Not the strongest track to ever open an album, that’s for sure! It sounds like a better Side Two or Side Three opener. “2 X 4” is my favorite song off Load. This is a song that could easily be mistaken for grunge because it’s slow and sludgy, but I’d argue it’s got too much of a bluesy swing to be grunge. It struts with attitude. Grunge seldom struts. Most of Load is simply 70s influenced hard rock; Metallica’s N.W.O.B.H.M. influences being traded-in completely for the type of music Cliff Burton loved: Skynyrd, Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, and especially Blue Öyster Cult (all of whom were covered on 1998’s Garage Inc.). While most people are familiar with “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper”, it’s the first three Blue Öyster Cult albums that Metallica draws the most from: 1972’s Blue Öyster Cult, 1973’s Tyranny & Mutation and 1974’s Secret Treaties. Bluesy in a strange, deconstructed manner; hard-rocking yet moody; experimental but still grounded enough for that biker bar; these early BOC albums laid much of the groundwork for Load and Re-Load. They’re also damn fine albums. You should go out and buy ‘em!

Back to Metallica…

“2 X 4” is the kind of menacing deep track that should be loved by both metal and hard rock fans. Between that tough-as-nails guitar riff and James shouting “I can’t hear ya, are ya talkin’ ta me!”, it’s a definite throw down song. But it’s also a lousy choice for a second track. Load doesn’t begin with a strong one-two punch like “Enter Sandman” and “Sad But True” on The Black Album. Load’s first two songs are almost, dare I say, subtle?

Well, as subtle as you can get with “Bitch” in the title.

“The House That Jack Built” is a solid Alice In Chains ripoff. Does this give credence to the whole Alternallica thing? Not if you don’t fall for marketing and know Alice In Chains was always a metal band. Regardless, there’s a bigger issue. The first three songs on Load are all accessible, but none of them scream “Hit Song” (and “The House That Jack Built” is way too long for a third track). What’s going on here? Doesn’t Metallica want to rule MTV anymore?

Then “Until It Sleeps” creeps in and it’s Hitsville, USA! A great, brooding, pop dirge (who’d ever believe there was such a thing). Similar to “The Unforgiven”, it manages to be really depressing yet catchy at the same time. In fact, I think it would’ve worked better as a second single (a’la “The Unforgiven”). It doesn’t announce ’96 Metallica the way, say, “Enter Sandman” announced them to the MTV crowd. It shouldn’t come to a surprise by now that I think Load and Re-Load should've been condensed to a single album or at least a tight double album. And like I wrote earlier, I think “The Memory Remains” would’ve been a stronger lead-off single. As a song it just makes much more of a statement. Between the creepy Marianne Faithful nursery-rhyme and its total embrace of classic rock groove, it definitely announces itself. And although Load is the more accessible of the two albums, Re-Load is the one that opens with a one-two punch: “Fuel” and “The Memory Remains”. There’s a reason why they’re the only two songs from this era the band still play in concert. They’re both catchy as hell. And “Fuel” kicks things off like a big, heavy metal party.

But back to Load…

“King Nothing” is decent-enough, but Metallica-By-Numbers (it’s the track that’s most reminiscent of The Black Album). “Hero of the Day” sounds designed for Modern Rock Radio and as such, it’s the song that most warrants the Alternallica stigma. It’s a well-written and catchy tune, even if it doesn’t do much for me personally. I think it would’ve worked better as a stand-alone single, released like a year or two after the album. Y’know, like on a soundtrack or charity album. “Bleeding Me” is a cool, art rock tune in the BOC vein. “Cure”, “Poor Twisted Me” and “Wasting My Hate” are all B-Side material. “Mama Said” is a pretty country song, but since this is a Metallica album, it might not be the best place for it. In my proposed alternate reality, James saves “Mama Said” for a country side project: Dead Bear In My Pickup Truck. I can never remember what “Thorn Within” sounds like, even while I’m listening to it, so it can’t be very good, right? I actually like “Ronnie”. The riff reminds me of AC/DC’s “Gone Shootin’”. A groovy, southern rocker that’s obviously filler, but good filler to these ears. With the album’s closer, “The Outlaw Torn”, they’re again on BOC mode: A gonzo biker rock epic! Apparently they kept jamming at the end, so the over nine minute album version is the short version!

Overall, I do think Re-Load is more metal than Load. It’s less bluesy and there’s also less wah-wah. Now I like myself a little wah-wah, but what Kirk did on Load could be considered wah-wah abuse. The man is lucky he didn’t get arrested. Right out of the gate with “Fuel”, Re-Load puts some of the metal back into Hard Rockallica. I guess a lot of metalheads take issue with the song because it’s fun. Like Motörhead and Judas Priest were always gloomy or something. Funny, because a lot of metalheads also love AC/DC and God knows they know how to party! Why can’t a band that was once lovingly nicknamed “Alcohollica” write a NASCAR friendly party song? Loosen up, people. I think “Fuel” makes for a better Motörhead tribute than Hardwired’s “Murder One”. Lemmy wrote a few dirges, but he was primarily about speed and “burning hard”. Re-Load’s second track, “The Memory Remains”, is my favorite track and it has to be one of the weirdest hit singles ever. It reminds me, conceptually at least, of BOC’s “Joan Crawford”. See what I did there? I brought it back to BOC. But let’s return to Re-Load and its third track: “Devil’s Dance”. Another great tune. Dark and sludgy metal with the word “Devil” in the title. So that’s three great songs in a row, does this album own Load or what!?

Hold it. I should’t whip out my dick yet.

There’s a drop-off.

And it starts with the fourth track, “The Unforgiven II”. A woefully unnecessary and inferior sequel. It’s essentially “The Unforgiven” in reverse: The heavy guitar verses become clean guitar verses, the clean guitar chorus becomes a heavy guitar chorus. So the most interesting thing about “The Unforgiven”, the way it subverted the clean verse to heavy chorus structure, is replaced with a more formulaic and traditional metal ballad structure. Whose idea was this? “Hey, guys!” Lars walks into the studio, after buying a Picasso, and addresses the band. “Why don’t we do “The Unforgiven” again, but this time around we make it more ordinary!” There’s some nice guitar work, but it’d be better served on a new Skynyrd-esque ballad than an uninspired “Unforgiven” sequel. And to think it was a single!?

“Better Than You” is another dud. A mundane track that makes way too much of a mundane lyric. “Slither” is a lesser “King Nothing”; maybe a good B-side. I can’t believe I like a Metallica song entitled “Carpe Diem Baby”, but I do. The song begins with a thick bluesy riff (they didn’t entirely jettison Load’s bluesyness), then slowly marches to a brilliant curveball of a chorus: It’s bittersweet yet infectious. The kind of tonal shift BOC often pulled-off on their earlier albums (even the song’s title is BOC-ish). I don’t hate “Bad Seed”, but if you’re referencing Sabbath’s mighty “Sweet Leaf” you damn well need a better song than this! “Where The Wild Things Are” is a creepy, experimental ditty. It’s weird enough to charm me, but it’s best tucked towards the end of an album. “Prince Charming” is stupid and wouldn’t even make a good B-side. I love “Low Man’s Lyric”. That’s right: I LOVE IT! A world-weary ballad that wouldn’t have sounded out-of-place on a Led Zeppelin or Thin Lizzy album. I don’t know why 70s hard rock and metal bands are allowed to have ballads, but Metallica are cocksuckers if they show their sensitive side.

“Attitude” might be a generic rocker, but it’s better than “Better Than You” and “Prince Charming”. At least it helps pick up the tempo. And like Load ended with “The Outlaw Torn”, Re-Load ends with a gonzo biker rock epic: “Fixxxer”. Again, like BOC, hard-rocking but vaguely psychedelic. Hippie music for people who don’t like hippies.

So the ratio of good songs versus subpar songs is roughly the same on Load and Re-Load.

It probably should’ve been a single disc, but in 1996 Metallica fans had been waiting five years for a new studio album! Therefore, in my alternate reality, I’ll be generous and make it a tight double album: Eight songs per disc. Overall, I think this version works better:

Disc One

1.) Fuel 2.) The Memory Remains 3.) Devil’s Dance 4.) Until It Sleeps 5.) King Nothing 6.) The House That Jack Built 7.) Bleeding Me 8.) Fixxxer

Disc Two

1.) Ain’t My Bitch 2.) 2 X 4 3.) Ronnie 4.) Low Man’s Lyric 5.) Carpe Diem Baby 6.) Attitude 7.) Where The Wild Things Are 8.) The Outlaw Torn

It’s still called Load, which is a good name for a double album, but the band retain their classic logo.

And this is the album cover…!!

#metallica #load #re-load #heavy metal #grunge #blue oyster cult

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comrade-meow · 3 years

Link

(Part 2 of 3)

Sadomasochism

“You’ve got other really fun things, like this idea of disempowerment. Here you’ve got the castration — sorry, I mean the beheading of Holofernes — and then on the right, you’ve got the same thing,” Sofia says, alluding to a pornographic image of two males engaging in a sex act as a woman ‘forces’ one of the men into what would be the submissive female role in heterosexual BDSM practices: bound, with a slave collar, being sexually abused. Sofia does not elaborate on why he believes these two images portray “the same thing”. Presumably he is attempting to establish a correlation between a man being violated as a woman and death; that the loss of the masculine role — castration — is metaphorically equivalent to being killed. Framed this way, the common euphemisms of transgender activism can possibly be traced back to BDSM practices and the narrative that has been constructed around fetishes.

For instance, so-called dead naming (referring to a trans-identified person by their birth name) could also be considered as a reference to ego death, or the complete loss of subjective self-identity. This framework could assist in explaining why it is that trans activists insist that words are literal violence, where the act of naming men as men, for example, deconstructs their illusory, projected self. In turn, it is possible that linguistic ‘transphobia’ can elicit a similar thrill as the sort induced by being humiliated, even when the humiliation is not a taunt, but the truth. In this sense, the public is unwittingly being duped into participating in BDSM, either as the dominant — those who criticize gender ideology — or submissive — trans activists themselves. Crucially, material reality, especially women’s reality, is being used as the vehicle for this rouse. When one considers that BDSM practices involved in forced feminization revolve around humiliation as a key point of arousal, this also could implicate an element of sexual pleasure involved for some in being considered to be subjugated or oppressed — that the male claim to a female identity is, in itself, a fetishization of women’s systemic subordination.

vimeo

The Eroticization of Castration

“Here we’ve got the very traditional sissy porn Lolita dress that my friend Torrey Peters lent me… who wrote an amazing book called The Masker which I recommend for everyone on this chat.”

A brief explanation of Torrey Peters and why this matters: Torrey Peters, a trans-identified male, is a published American author who has found a market for books of written pornography with loosely developed plots. The Masker follows participants in a masking convention, where men don silicone body suits and face masks in order to resemble women and subsequently engage in sexual activity with each other. Peters’ portrays this fetish lifestyle as a pathway towards a decision to permanently alter one’s body through breast implants and hormones. In March 2021, Peters was long-listed for the UK Women’s Prize in fiction for his recent publication, Destransition, Baby, which I have written about here. Peters is increasingly being promoted by US media, and his ex, Harron Walker, also a trans-identified male, is employed by the women’s magazine W and has written for ‘feminist’ outlet Jezebel, having formerly written for the notoriously misogynist platform Vice, as well as Out magazine.

Sofia is also clearly a great admirer of American academic Andrea Long Chu, who has been published in The Journal of Speculative Philosophy (2018) and Differences, a Journal of Feminist Cultural Studies (2019). Chu, a trans-identified male, wrote Females: A Concern, which was published in 2019 by Verso Press, and contains remarkable statements of misogyny as though they were undisputed facts.

Here Sofia quotes an essay, Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans, wherein Chu argues that womanhood can be defined as a state of powerlessness. Chu presented this essay as a speech at a number of reputable universities in the US, including Columbia University, Vassar College, UCLA, and UC Berkeley.

“Castration anxiety is easily mistaken for the fear that one will be castrated. In fact, it is the fear that one, being castrated, will like it. The threat, in other words, is not that you will lose power (this is basically inevitable, and not much worth worrying about), but that you won’t actually want power, after all. Too often, we imagine powerlessness as the suppression of desire by some external force (maybe someone else’s desire), and we forget that desire, in itself, is often, if not always, an experience of powerlessness. Most desire is nonconsensual, most desires aren’t desired.” — Andrea Long Chu, Did Sissy Porn Make Me Trans?

The idea that women are castrated males is not new, nor is it particularly insightful in regards to the reality of women’s lives. Much has been said and written about this in psychoanalysis and in feminist texts. It should be concerning to anyone, men as well as women, that this idea is resurfacing in gender ideology — especially when we consider that children are quite literally being castrated in the service of this belief, both by means of powerful drugs euphemistically referred to as “puberty blockers,” as well as genital mutilation surgeries. The story of David Reimer is a tragic example of this. In 1966, Reimer, whose circumcision was botched as an infant, was experimented on by psychologist John Money, who decided it would be better to raise Reimer as a girl. Money believed that sex was socially constructed, a belief also promoted by current trans activists. Reimer’s case represents one of the earliest modern examples of what is called ‘sex reassignment surgery’, and John Money forced David to imitate sex acts with his brother Brian, instructing David to play the submissive, or ‘female’ role. Money justified these criminal acts by claiming that “childhood ‘sexual rehearsal play’” was important for a “healthy adult gender identity” (As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl, John Colapinto). The sexual abuses inflicted on the twins by Money caused them such severe distress that both Brian and David committed suicide.

vimeo

“There’s something that Andrea Long Chu writes a lot about… how we don’t get to choose what we desire, so there can be so much discomfort in engaging with things that we desire, whether that be in porn or otherwise. What you desire is what you are.” This is a pseudo-intellectual expression of the sentiment that “boys will be boys,” or that men are not accountable for their desires or actions. It’s a sentiment often used to rationalize predatory sexual behavior, one that gets trotted out to blame women who survive sexual abuse, and used in courts of law to avoid punishing men for sexual violence.

vimeo

“I think a lot about coercion. If you look at a lot of sissy porn, a lot of it focuses around worshipping of the cock… it’s seen as the ultimate form of power. How the humiliation works is in talking about the size of a person’s cock, how small it is. The fantasy is about cis women getting to expose and subject men to the trappings of femininity as a form of punishment, humiliation, and dehumanization. I think talking about this within the world of feminism… is really exciting to think about.” The fantasy is about men being dehumanized through femininity. This explicitly demonstrates that femininity — as in, the socially constructed sex stereotypes imposed on women by force, by men — are designed to dehumanize women and girls. This is worth bearing in mind in any discussion of gender identity ideology. Harmful beauty products, purchased in the form of plastic surgery, breast implants, high heels, and excessive makeup are frequently purported to be expressions of selfhood. Additionally, Sofia mentions the humiliation of discussing relative size of a man’s genitalia. This is a recurring theme in forced feminization pornography. Statements are made in favor of ‘forcibly’ transitioning a man into a ‘woman’ due to the assumed inadequacy of his manhood. This can easily be juxtaposed with the previously stated idea that women are merely castrated, or failed, men. It is frightening how a lack of consent is doted upon as an intellectual exercise by all parties involved in the presentation, and by academics who share this view within queer theory, including the aforementioned Andrea Long Chu. The expressed desire for a lack of “agentiality”, a lack of consent, eroticizes aspects of sexual abuse and rape.

vimeo

“In Andrea Long Chu’s essay, she’s saying that sissy porn can’t be queer because it’s about the heterosexual dynamic. My argument is that I don’t think she’s looking at forced womanhood and is looking at other ways that forced feminization is being depicted that don’t revolve around the cis cock being the infallible phallus, the unquestionable source of power.” Forced feminization pornography often eroticizes impotence through the use of contraptions called “chastity cages,” intended to prevent erections. Hormones are another avenue for inducing impotence; the consumption of estrogen by males can cause erectile dysfunction. However, it often still revolves around male genitalia, including the prostate orgasm. Notice that Sofia uses a qualifier when he says, “the cis cock”. Make no mistake, forced feminization pornography is just another iteration of the eroticization of male power in that it centers the male ego and desires, while reinforcing the reductive male projection of women as sex objects.

vimeo

RL: “In her [Andrea Long Chu’s] essay on sissy porn — beyond the heterosexual framing — the way she puts it is to be trans is to be fucked, and to be fucked is not good in her scheme. I don’t see that as quite the same narrative in your work, but humiliation and punishment seem to be operating certainly in some way in both texts.” Sofia becomes frustrated, tosses aside the pornography magazine he had been admiringly referencing throughout, and shifts the focus away from critiques of societal themes by making himself the subject. RS: “[By] transitioning, I knew I was entering a more marginalized, more disempowered role in the world. There is also a desire inherent to that.” Sofia was given a platform by one of the most prestigious universities in the world to show pornography of himself and to espouse ideas that mock half the population — women — by associating women’s existence with acts of degradation and dehumanization for his own sexual arousal. RS: “Gender is coercive… but there is a lot of control that I’m exercising.” RL: “I do love in the structures of these photos how much it is about control, especially… the ones with genital torture.”

RS: “This is when I was getting more into the castration stuff, the desire around disempowerment… I’m thinking about divine ecstasy, the ecstasy that one can experience while in a lot of pain.” Sofia plays a video of himself taking on two roles (which he compares to a painting by Frida Kahlo, The Two Fridas, which depicts her agony following her divorce, in a stunning example of appropriation of female suffering), wherein he is being sexually tormented by his ‘other’ female-coded self. He is naked and bound, with a rope around his genitals, in a chair which has had its legs sawed down, forcing him to hold himself up on his toes to avoid castration. He presented this scene publicly, thereby being allowed to display sexual exhibitionism, which is a crime, and to be applauded for doing so. Once again, RL Goldberg returns to the topic of religion. This subject is used as a crutch throughout the presentation to lend validity and authority to what is explicitly the promotion of a BDSM lifestyle as a form of ‘gender identity’, but also speaks to the religious nature of gender ideology. Being unable to rely on science — indeed, being actively hostile towards science — gender ideology relies on the idea of a gendered soul, an innate identity, and reifies the power dynamics deliberately constructed within sex role stereotypes to dehumanize women.

(Continued in Part 3)

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creativeconmans · 5 years

Text

The Batman Rant

It’s always a bit embarrassing to have your first blog post. Especially if it’s a rant. Moreso if you catch yourself trying to be profound in doing so. With this bit of self-observation out of the way, I’d like to talk about something that has happened some time ago: Batman #50.

Now, I shall do something horrible and assume that everyone reading this knows the arc and issue in question – and all the rest of you people don’t care enough to be hurt by any and all spoilers this post may contain.

I have, living in Russia, discovered the whole arc of the Batcat wedding only recently. The stories precluding the wedding were… different, though not too meaningful, soap opera in DC Universe, which is more or less standard, wrapped up in some of the best art I have seen in popular media. Thanks for that trend. And then came the issue of a wedding that has been built up for a year not happening, that began with a series of very, very questionable choices by both characters, which turned out to be a catastrophe instead. That is, by the way, how I found out about the existence of Tom King and that spoke volumes to me about his writing.

But if that was all, I don’t think it would really merit blogging about it. I have studied some threads – what few I could find – where the fans stated their own reactions not to the spoiler (I actually think this could have been damage control from DC – spoil the issue so that people don’t crash too hard), but to the story. Only three points emerged throughout, and that was that

a. People loved Tom King and his writing (apparently)

b. People thought that DC considered marriage toxic

c. People think that breaking the Bat has been done so many times it’s not even remotely funny. Not even in the Joker’s terms. Although, perhaps…

There were a couple of less frequently encountered points – and one of them was that a fulfilled – if not happy – Bruce Wayne would be, in fact, far more effective at stopping shit from happening that a permanently hurt fellow who needed his crusade to keep functioning. I sort of second that - a fulfilled Bat would have systematically empowered Gotham police and call upon his resources – League resources – to ensure specifically that threats were deconstructed on a more or less permanent basis.

But also throughout – and I may severely aggro the larger crowd now – there is, I think, a vast misunderstanding of two things. First is the fact that writers who keep dishing out the ‘No Bat without pain’ mantra severely misunderstand the character of Batman. In fact, in the King’s run, even his closest friends and family misunderstand Batman.

The second – is the fact that the writers aren’t in it to tell good stories. The game of writing has long since been forcibly changed.

At first, stories were made to convey meaning, from deep moral truths to memes to hitting your neighbor on the head with a sword and laminating his women being a good idea.

Then the stories were made to entertain at least, and at most - to force people to actually think before they act – and this is how the stories since circa 200 B.C. were written. Whether it is the classic Chinese epics or the cornerstones of French literature, or the Greeks or the Romans – this is how you normally find your story.

And then come the more recent times, and the invention of the printing press, and the proliferation of both basic literacy and paper. Suddenly there is more and more opportunity for more and more people to write – to tell stories for a living. They write, they draw, they paint, they make moving pictures. And a few of them find themselves in large collectives that are so stable that they can finally create a lasting mythos.

What would you do, if you suddenly found out you could create something that would – quite probably – outlive you and your children? What if it turned out to be so influential, even while being regarded as insignificant, that people would want more and more of it, would pay dearly for it? And what would you do, if suddenly control of such legacy, built well before you were born, fell into your lap?

Regardless of the answer, in our case the ever-winning pragmatism and child-like directness of people in power would dictate they would make money off those who believe in the legacy and want it continued.

That practical, inevitable decision suddenly makes everything else fall into place. One sees the audience not as your followers to be respected, nor a herd to be guided, nor even a crowd to be pleased, but as an opponent to be taken advantage of. And against an opponent you must arm yourself.

And with this opponent that is a renewing, rotating group of people, you have two specific goals in mind. One, to make your opponent pay for your product more than once, and preferably – for all your products. Two, to make sure your opponent is never destroyed, never pays too much, never stops – in short, never, ever hurt your opponent so much he won’t come back for more.

The shortest route to achieving Objective One is – forgive me for belaboring the obvious – to force your opponent to buy your product. Now we all know that under current labor market conditions men with tommy guns are a bit expensive to hire, too troublesome and can be creatively undirected – in the sense that they are as likely to sell your product to yourself as well as the target audience and then pocket the money. So if actual violence is impossible, our weapon of next resort is trickery and lies.

Now, it can – and, I’m sure, has been – successfully argued that people would enjoy being lied to, provided the lies were good and entertaining enough and told with a straight face and never weighed any on their pocket. The whole history of storytellers seems indeed to prove the point. Hence, the people of creative foundry in general seem to have adopted the tactics of lies.

So okay, people are lying to you. Some of them are even telling lies so that you, while listening or reading those, can arrive to a certain truth, perhaps even something deep. Or even profound. Where is the harm in that? Even if, in time, they start lying for the sake of you paying, and nothing else.

But there is a downside to a lie, and that is, once it has served its purpose it can only be discarded. No one will ever believe a lie told twice – or three times. No matter how you dress it up, people who have encountered it twice or more will recognize it, and react accordingly.

And so we come to a dilemma – we either tell different lies and change the legacy until we run out of believable lies, or maybe we stop telling lies, which would put us out of work and out of money.

This is where the nature of the target audience throws storytellers a rope. Storytellers, have easy times dealing with the young and the naïve, people who have not yet been duped many times, who keep having hopes and dreams of getting something out of every deal, every truth, every lie – everything. And their supply is replenishing, what with new people being born daily and all.

But telling old lies to new people only gets you so far – they can be easily inoculated by the older crowd who we have already lied to, successfully or not. Furthermore, the Internet and its propagation makes it harder and harder to peddle the same thing. You suddenly find that your consumer has collectively evolved and simple trick work no longer – they have already been seen and done and examined and analyzed to death.

You therefore must expand your repertoire of tricks and lies, and this is where the con comes into it. The long con.

Modern writing involves playing with your audience – in fact, running a long con on your audience. There is, in writing and drawing and filmmaking – in storytelling in general – an implicit promise. The promise is that a story will take you places, and that the world you heard about would change, and probably you yourself might change with that. It is that promise and hope of its fulfillment that makes one read a new story (barring professional readers, but those aren’t really a large crowd), invest time and emotion into it and its characters, willingly suspend disbelief as it comes. And it is that promise that is, in modern days, routinely and completely broken.

Which is where the long con comes into play.

A modern writer’s job is to make a script that fulfils the following objectives by any and all means:

1. Make people want to read what’s in their hands

2. Make people want to read the next one

The first objective is normally achieved with good graphics and composition and a story that is not entirely moronic, but mostly it is helped by the fact that once you buy a book – or a comic book, or whatever – it’s normally a waste not to finish it through (That has happened to me once or twice, though).

But the second one – that one’s a doozy. The term ‘plot hook’ now defines something that has evolved past simple hooking and into something that more resembles ‘plot anchoring drill’. Or whatever it is they anchor floating oil rigs with.

The original plot hooking mechanism worked on two simple mechanics – one, creating a gestalt that, by design, cannot be completed, until and unless the next piece of the story is experienced, two, promising that it will be completed in the next piece of the story in a satisfactory manner.

The actual execution of the scheme have long been any and all variants of a cliffhanger to a varied degree, but unresolved plot points also work towards the same goal, provided the main story is not concluded (i.e. the narrator isn’t planning to stop talking).

So where is the con?

If you analyze so many stories in the comic books of the Big Two – which is what actually prompted this post – you realize there have been supposedly radical changes throughout the comicbook universe, except they have amounted to nothing much. It is like a soap opera (Santa Barbara, perhaps), where everything keeps happening and nothing ever gets really resolved, because nothing ever really changes. Least of all, the direction.

In that regard, the canonic Batman suffers perhaps the most, both as a comic line and as the character. Every single positive influence that anything can possibly have has been for the recent years disintegrated either by some random villainous plot or by some immature and questionable choice of his own – except it really was the writer’s choice in every occasion.

But you know – you know – it will turn out okay in the end, right? Except it won’t. There is, for comicbook characters, an extremely specific baseline which determines what they are, and they aren’t allowed to be pretty much anything else. One thing that Batman is not allowed to be, for example, is efficient.

Another thing is apparently happy, but I have always – or at least since I started thinking about it – that it betrays either conscious manipulation on the writers’ part, or their complete lack of understanding of Batman as a character and as a man. We have been sold the ‘Happy man cannot be batman’ idea several times by now, but the rationale behind it is very, very questionable.

Let’s set aside for a moment the fact that Batman as a character is a paradox – anyone who has the sheer amount of will and determination to become as prepared for most conceivable situations could not have neglected his own emotional maturity, or lack thereof.

It is unrealistic that the man behind the cowl still has the same things and thoughts driving him fifteen years – and four Robins, and a tragedy, and a son, and several lovers, and countless instances of severe psychological ordeal and heartbreak after he had first started his crusade.

His personal trauma was the driving factor at the start of his career – and it was believable there and then. But after all these events – if the man is a living, sane creature not bent on self-loathing or self-torture (and such a person would have broken right about two world crises earlier) – he would want to be changed.

Which was in part why the idea of the Batman finally marrying Cat of all people (and which guy, exactly, hasn’t had a girlfriend not unlike the Cat in his life?) was sold very well. Depicting the romantic intimacy masterfully helped quite a bit. But the final ingredient, as it were, the core of all cons, was the hope. The hope that this time, this fellow who has survived chaos, murder, trauma to his loved ones, countless assaults on his sanity, couple of deaths in the family, psychological torture and continuous work well past the point of human endurance (mental and physical) deserves some happiness, especially where he had only to make a step to do it. The readers’ hope that finally everything would turn out right in the damn imaginary world that has seen too many wrongs. And it took a very long time and many plot arcs – not all of them particularly good – to settle the plot points and prepare the world for a transition…except the said transition never happened.

The number of gestalts formed throughout the arc numbers in dozens, all of them hitting a very specific group of emotions within the readers. Each and every marriage prelude pointed towards some serious character growth and a fulfilling resolution, despite the fact that Bruce Wayne is no Oliver Queen (but we know from the Arrow series that Ollie wants to face just as many sadistic choices as Bruce). And then it all gets spectacularly destroyed, all the gestalts incomplete.

With each incomplete gestalt the reader has formed comes a need – of varying power and degree – to see that gestalt completed, to see the resolution, and more specifically – the one resolution that has been pointed at and that the reader is hoping for. Some writers go so far as to push the hopes of readers into a specific direction, only to tear the gestalts in two later on.

And they do it consciously. The unfulfilled needs create a certain drive in the reader – or viewer. And the very first place where a frustrated reader will look in hopes of fulfillment and proper gestalt completion is the same place where the gestalt was created. Translated into consumer behavior, it means that #50 has virtually guaranteed a psychological need in its target audience to buy issues #51-#100. You can even see Tom teasing the audience with flashback pictures of Bat/Cat romantic scenes taken out of context, fueling the fire and bolstering future sales of hopeful, young, naïve and emotional consumers.

But the real bitch of it is, the con works if you emotionally invest in the story. In fact, it will work even if you take specific steps to prevent your own emotional investment. An unfinished story means an incomplete gestalt, and it is a micro-trauma for one’s psyche far more often than not (I believe there are times when implied completion of the story – and gestalt – is far more scary and traumatic than incompletion, but you’d have to talk to a practicing psychologist to be certain of that).

And so to the point. After #50 it has become clear that all Batman readers have been conned by Tom King et al into believing there was a chance of change. Especially those who missed his earlier statements about breaking the Bat – because, you know, the Kult didn’t do that (despite the series specifically stating it to be so), and Bane didn’t do that, and the Joker didn’t do that already.

And even as that is apparent, people – me, admittedly and regrettably, included – continue to hope for a better resolution, for Bat/Cat pair to drift back together and at least be no worse off than where they started… forgetting for the moment that the only real thing that could repair feelings on both sides is an actual consummation of marriage, impossible as it sounds. And since it is the only way to really repair the Bat/Cat pair, it probably won’t happen.

Nevertheless, people won’t stop forcing themselves to hope, because to lose the hope in good resolution would, for the hapless reader (also ‘punter’ or ‘sucker’ in this instance), be to lose hope of satisfying his own emotional needs – even if they originated – or became actualized – in an utterly fictional story.

There are worse conmen on the market of creative writing than Tom et al – one could probably write a short book on those – but this is probably the first time since the con has been ran on people with this much deliberation, for this long, using this particular base spectrum of emotions, and with such a long-term sales plan in mind.

So I postulate here and now, that the creative writing industry has finally become its own dark apex – it has necessitated manipulation and traumatization of readers through proxy of characters and it will, if left unchecked, have very serious and detrimental influence on both the readers and on writers. It will, if left unchecked, become a one-sided war of educated psychologists versus uneducated mass consumers. And, if left unchecked, it will by necessity upgrade the writers from creators of monsters into monsters themselves.

Not all writers are creators of monsters. But it has been something of a trend that so many of them are, and are lauded for it.

All we can do, perhaps, is educate ourselves and our young to fight, to perceive stories as means of manipulation and traps, to search for truths in a more profound way than what the mass industry offers.

Or maybe we can do nothing - but hope.

#Bat/Cat Batman Comics Psychology Con Rant

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