#and damian with the knives

[incorrectbatfam]

Stephanie: Are you mad?

Damian: No.

Stephanie: So sharpening knives at 2AM is just a hobby?

[puppetmaster13u]

Meme Prompt 12

[fanaticalthings]

I know Wayne Manor probably looks as normal as possible to avoid visitors suspecting the family's past time activities..

but also I highly doubt Bruce was able to avoid making some obscure changes to the Manor just based on the fact that his children are fucking feral.

Some of the windows are either boarded up, or have cages on them from the inside, and to an onlooker, they'll probably think "Oh those poor kids, being caged inside like animals, unable to get fresh air. I always knew that Wayne guy was sketchy. "

but it's literally just because his kids won't stop launching themselves head-first out of the windows whenever Bruce is mid lecture. doesn't matter if they're on the 4th floor.

sometimes visitors will get a closer look at the inside of the place and see a lot of things baby proofed, which is weird because "Aren't all of Wayne's kids old enough to not get themselves hurt like babies do?"

No, Sharon, do not underestimate the power of 6 hyperactive children combined in a room together, they will absolutely get themselves hurt in some way.

some furniture and objects are just straight up bolted to the floor, and everyone just assumes Bruce is a perfectionist or a micromanager, but Bruce literally had no other option since his fucking kids keep throwing shit at each other, and sometimes they just do it to get the other's attention or because they just felt like it. Sometimes they'll even throw each other

I just need some DC comics that acknowledge that the Manor has some additional features that were integrated after Bruce's countless experiences with each new weird ass child he gains.

[blingblandart]

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 12 - "I am not saying I didn't like it."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: -

Danny grinned at Jason who was sitting across from him on the table. Before the other a plate of… something was placed, accompanied by a cup of tea. Danny's first attempt at cooking. Jason had not managed to escape the Manor in time and had been unlucky enough to come across Danny, Alfred's new assistant / ward entrusted to him from an old 'friend'.

Of course Danny had to have that stupid baby deer and begging eye looks as he pleaded to Jason to please try his cooking and help him work out how to make it better so that he could help out Alfred more in the future. Jason was going to say no but the other teen was very insistent and had an iron grip.

He was pretty sure Danny had cut off his arms blood circulation when he had gotten dragged to the kitchen. Either way he was now presented with something that looked inedible and a tea that smelled heavenly.

"Try it!" Danny smiled brightly and damit, maybe his brothers were right saying he was a good damn pushover. Jason swallowed, looking from Danny's bright eyes down at the plate before him.

"Fuck it…" If it tasted bad he would wash it down with the heavenly smelling tea. He stabbed something on the plate, ignored the fact that he was entirely sure he had seen it wiggle and stuffed it in his mouth, eyes tightly shut.

He waited for the bad taste to impact.

And waited.

And waited.

But it never game, carefully he opened one eye seeing Danny staring expectantly at him. Carefully he started chewing and his eye widened. Not expecting to taste what he did, Jason stared at the dish before him that he could only describe as the stew of doom.

"Well? How does it taste! Is it as good as Mr. Alfred's stew?"

"How the fuck…" was the only thing Jason was able to say still not believing his taste buds. Stil in disbelief Jason then took a sip of the heavenly smelling tea and promptly spit it out like it had burned his tongue, just not with the temperature but with its taste. He coughed, hitting the table a couple of times. His eyes teared up as he stared at the sheepish teen before him.

"What the fuck, Danny?" He wheezed out, trying to catch his breath after the coughing fit.

"I was sure you were going to like ecto-tea, considering you already have ectoplasm in your system. You didn't appear to mind it in the food."

Jason's eye twitch. "You mixed fucking ectoplasm into this food?"

If Alfred weren't so fond of this boy Jason would have punched him already. Sure Danny was a good damn enigma and when Alfred had introduced them the teen had freaked out on Jason about how he had not treated his apparent sickness before proceeding to explain to Alfred and Bruce that Jason apparently needed something called ectoplasm to stay healthy. That been a fucking ordeal, Jason certainly didn't want to repeat. Plus point was that this ectoplasm did indeed cure his Pit Madness, bad point was he had to take something that looked like fucking Pit Water on a regular basis.

And now Danny was apparently using him as his experimental guinea pig for his ectoplasm cooking. He could have at least said something about having it put into the food and tea. At least the teen looked somewhat apologetic at the glare Jason was sending him.

"Sorry… you just always made a face when you had to take the ectoplasm, so I tried making it taste better for you." He couldn't help it as he ruffled the others hair earning a pout in return. The teen reminded him of his brothers, if Alfred hadn't claimed Danny already as his, Jason was sure Bruce would have attempted to adopt Danny.

"I am not saying I didn't like it. Just don't put ectoplasm in tea anymore." He stabbed with his fork into the wiggling food to emphasize his next words When he lifted it he raised an eyebrow at the wiggling goob of something, that apparently doesn't taste as bad as it looks. "It's better in the food, despite causing it to look like something you shouldn't eat."

There was a crash behind him in the kitchen area right after he had placed the fork in his mouth and Jason arched an eyebrow at the suddenly very nervous looking Danny.

"What was that?" Jason asked, his eyebrow going even higher as Danny suddenly pulled out a green glowing steak knife out of seemingly nowhere.

"Nothing!"

Another crash resounded behind him and Jason was very tempted to turn around to see what caused it. But before he could, the green steak knife flew right past his head. "Nothing? Are you sure?"

"Uhm well… I might have kept quiet about a side effect ectoplasm can have on food." Another crash and Jason wondered if this was why Danny had waited for Alfred to be out of the Manor on errands before he attempted to cook.

"I won't say anything to Alfred as long as you don't use the good steak knives."

"Deal." Danny then proceeded to pull out the Demon Brat's throwing knives. Wide eyed Jason watched how Danny jumped over the table into the kitchen area, he turned in his seat to continue watching but found that Danny had disappeared chasing whatever had caused the crashing sounds.

"Demon Brat is going to bust a blood vessel, no one touches his blades." Jason muttered, turning back to his wiggling but actually good tasting food, deciding that for now, he would ignore the fact that Danny 100% was not a normal teen Alfred had taken in for a friend. If his knowledge about this ectoplasm was't enough to tip them off then the way had moved and used the blades just now definitely would and had.

Taking another bite, Jason marbled at the taste before he chuckled and wondered what would happen first. Him and his siblings figuring out what was up with Danny, the Demon Brat attempting to stab Danny for having used his throwing knives, or Danny figuring out their nightlife activities and the reason why Damian owned throwing knives in the first place.

[friendlyneighborhoodplebeian]

I want a Batfam au were Tim and Damian have a normal sibling relationship, but due to the fact everyone else in the family has been the only child up until their adoption into the family and don’t necessarily have the most normal sibling relationships with each other (Jason+Dick pre Jason’s death didn’t talk, Jason has heavy resentment for Tim, Dick is more of a distant mentor/hero to Tim, Cass isn’t around much, and Duke is new to the family) they don’t realize Tim and Damian have a perfectly normal sibling relationship. But to their only child brains they don’t know this and subsequently they think Tim and Damian have a really unhealthy relationship and hate each other. Like they get Canary involved to observe them and she’s just really confused because her and Sarah (White Canary, and her little sister) do all this stuff all the time, this is normal.

[mistergreatbones]

Realistically if the bats were close enough to hangout as civilians they wouldn’t attack each other for fun because no one wants to be down an ally because your argument over KitKats got a little too intense and now they’re in the medbay. Unrealistically however I think Duke does a livestream in what he thinks is an unused room but is actually an used room connected to several other unused rooms that Damian and Cass run through when they (lovingly and purely for play) feel like throwing knives at each other.

They run through the background but before but before Duke notices the chat going crazy they’ve already slid out of frame. No time to come up with an excuse Duke just sighs very deeply and says “this is what happens when you’re bored and have health insurance”

[puppetmaster13u]

Oneshot Mini-Ramble Three

For This: https://www.tumblr.com/puppetmaster13u/749966584630673408/thinkin-of-several-oneshots-and-i-wanna-ramble

ANYWAY. Day 3, doing another middle one: Shadow Dragon Au

Well first off, this is a reverse robins AU! Bruce gets baby- around 3 or 4- Damian due to said baby taking after him draconically. The Al Ghuls are more serpentine dragons, more eastern-style mixed with sea serpent. And it's just not healthy for Damian to live there in the desert, so he's brought to his father instead.

There's of course adjustments, and then in the middle of all this? Finds the neighbor's toddler digging through the trash with another blonde toddler. Apparently someone left a cursed item or three be easily accessible and yeah, there's two more hatchlings in Gotham.

Now Damian? Relationship with his siblings is quite different because older sibling? Bad. Younger siblings? Why that's a small creature that looks up to him, that sees him as a role model. And dragons? They hoard.

So is it really that big of a surprise when more hatchlings follow?

[raynetheinsane]

I think the reason why people have this idea that the batfamily (specifically Tim and his siblings) all have to absolutely hate each other is highly contributable to only children not understanding sibling relationships (no hate to only children, still love yall <3)

Because thats what a lot of the batfams internal issues boil down to, yes they are turned up to 100, but they are still just sibling relationships at their core

And no matter how many times you explain it, only children will never understand how you can love your sibling and still chase them/get chased around the house with a knife

Because at the end of the day, Tim teasing Damian and Damian reacting by attacking him? Exact thing that happens to most siblings daily

Jason getting mad because Tim stole his shit and then beating the shit out of him? Happens on a biweekly basis

((If yall have any more feel free to add them in the notes))

And obviously for them its a lot more violent because theyre a lot more traumatized but at its core its the same thing

[megaerakles]

Dangerous Football

Damian: They should make a new kind of football and call it Dangerous Football, where everyone gets knives and is allowed to stab and kill each other

Jason: No, they should make a new kind of football where the entire field is covered in oil. And then at some point randomly in the match they drop a match, and you have to avoid the flames while still playing. That’s dangerous football.

Tim: Is the whole field covered in oil, or is it like, a maze of flames situation?

Jason: The entire field is covered and eventually everything is consumed by the fire. It’s a metaphor for life or some shit.

Dick: Ok, no more sugar for any of you!

[Dangerous Football inspired by a rant from @wizardhatwithacowboybrim :) thanks for letting me steal your rant for funny fandom posts]

[avamedera]

Damian: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Anyone who doesn't know Damian: I think you mean cards. Dick: They did not. Damian, pulling out knives: I did not.

[ghost-bxrd]

Jason coded, or even Damian. Such an unsettling vibe. Iconic ✨

[breadandblankets]

Damian as Robin, perched on a rooftop with a steaming cup of tea in a fine bone china cup, staring into the middle distance like a world weary old man: "In this world it's stab or be stabbed"

Civilian with their window open a floor below: O_o

[amaraudermind]

I just know Duke loves celebrating the Ides of March

[weheartstims]

Damian Wayne stimboard with green colors and animals, please?

Damian Wayne (DC Comics) with green and animals!

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