#and doing it respectfully. they all come from different backgrounds and I don’t want them agreeing immediately just because it’s easy

[csuitebitches]

I apologize for the long ask and if this question is a bit juvenile but objectively, how can one “gain” pretty privilege/gauge how they are viewed? I’ve done well in career pursuits for how early on I am ( I graduated in 2020) but started noticing that the invites to events/opportunities where one can really establish themselves not only professionally but socially, I was getting passed over by some higher up colleagues. In speaking to a female mentor who is related to my field and the same background as me (Black), she alluded that while my race may play a small factor in it, it’s more so my appearance that may be holding me back as the personality and poise is there. Some coworkers of mine who are brilliant and POC have similar credentials and positions as I and while we are all wonderful and hard working, they (who I feel are more beautiful and put together looks-wise) have discussed privately to me they have noticed a difference in treatment between us. While it’s not right, I am adult enough to know not to let things that can be fixed hinder the life I want. Your page is a wealth of information and I appreciate how encouraging you are!!

well. I’m going to be very blunt.

it’s all fun and games to say “oh fuck the beauty standards they’re terrible and they shouldn’t exist” yes, true, unfortunately they do exist and they play a bigger role than we imagine it to be.

the first thing you have to get right is your mindset.

you need to be strong enough to admit that you need changes in X, Y, Z area but not in A, B, C area. You also need to be a little loyal towards your racial identity (for the better or worse) because that’s what is going to make you stand out.

if you have a sensitive, overly emotional mindset and you get hurt very easily / become obsessive by nature, I highly recommend you to STOP reading now.

Understand what is considered pretty in your country and area. Even in one country, beauty standards can different from the north and south. Don’t exactly try to become attractive for the opposite sex but understand what they find attractive because these guys are your primary responders to your pretty privilege. Women will be kind on the surface and so it can be difficult to get constructive criticism from them.

Understand what YOU consider pretty. Who are the women who you think are crazy beautiful? What do they look like, dress like, how’s their hair and their make up, can you replicate any of it? Rule of thumb when it comes to hair and beauty - look at influencers / celebs who are of your racial background for the best fit.

there are always a few things that are universally considered “respectfully attractive” not “you wanna fuck me attractive”- semi modesty/ modesty outfits (my father always told me that when in doubt, go for a more conservative look), hygiene, well kept hair, clean nails and toe nails, soft skin, natural make up, natural hair colour, perfume, clothes that fit, skin care, a workout routine.

pretty privilege is not just the art of looking pretty. It’s also bringing in something of value on the table. Value = money / connections / knowledge/ humour / being the fun social person / whatever value the target group considers to be the most important for you to be relevant to them. Work on your soft skills. It’s better to look half baked but have solid soft skills than to look amazing and not know how to converse.

things that one normally notices when meeting someone new:

Skin - is it clear, is the make up overdone?

hair - is it messy or does it suit your face structure?

how you smell

teeth, when you talk - and dental hygiene

shoes - are they filthy?

shirt/ top - does it fit you well (always check that the seams on your shoulder and your actual shoulder line up), the colour of your clothes

body type, posture, how you carry yourself

start with incremental changes. Make a list of things you think you could improve on (this is not a list of “ugly” things, it’s an “improvement/ potential” list). Sort them according to ease of improvement (is this going to be expensive and difficult or affordable and easy?) and time (can this be done overnight or will it take some time).

Use point 1 and 2 only as launching pads. You do not have to look like Beyoncé, you’re simply understanding what her MUA and hair stylist does for her that could work for you. After a point, you have to ensure that YOUR identify sticks out and is still there, you’re not born to imitate someone else and also, it’s very obvious when someone is trying to be someone they’re not.

again. I repeat. If you’re going to get obsessive and make yourself sick over this it’s NOT WORTH IT. If you’re not mentally capable of making these changes, do not go through it.

[knightofhylia]

Basic Spirit Contact Etiquette

We’ve all seen some sort of ghost-hunting show in our lives, whether you were an avid Ghost Adventures fan or looking for scary things to watch on Halloween.

Here I’m whipping up a guide based on my 10+ years working with spirits on how to approach spirits respectfully and conduct yourself during contact whether in your own home or another location. This is focused on the types of spirits you may encounter while on a ghost investigation.

Before Contact

Consider who you are bringing with you.  Take into account the location you are going to. If you are in the south investigating a plantation with a crew of all white men it might get a little tense and spirits will probably not like to respond, or respond harshly. Most of the time when shows actually think about this is if they are going to a prison or something and they bring girls to attract ghosts. Think about the spiritual background of the people attending. People of different backgrounds will react to and attract different types of entities. 

Bring an offering. No one wants to do anything for free, so, give a little ‘thanks’ for the spirit's time and energy by bringing a gift. This can be almost anything! Do your research if you are investigating a specific location. Time periods, regions, specific people, and general areas can give you a clue on what to give.  If you really don’t have much info, there are some good (generally) universal offerings. 

Energy

Spirits need energy to manifest like I need energy to manifest myself out of bed sometimes. There are a couple of different ways to do this. 

Candles are a great, cheap, easy way to offer a little energy to the spirits. PLEASE USE CAREFULLY. Make sure it has a stable support such as a holder if its a tapered candle or bowl if it is a pillar candle. Place a plate underneath to catch any wax runoff. I’m not going to go deep into candle colours, but the ones I personally use are purple for psychic boost, white for general and cleansing, black for protection, or blue for insight. 

Crystals and rocks are a very common offering as well. This doesn’t have to be fancy, honestly a little quartz goes a long way sometimes. I personally have a pouch that has my stones for spirit contact specifically that I take with me to help me connect. I’m not going to go super extensive into the meanings of the crystals, you can find that other places, but these are my go to:

Labradorite: good for intuition and heightening senses

Spirit Bomb Quartz: I’m gonna be honest, I bought this mainly because it looked like a kidney stone I had, and it's one of Yusuke Urameshi's powers. But! It’s quartz so it’s always good to have around.

Azurite: good for mentality clarity and receiving messages. 

Lapis Lazuli: My favourite stone <3. Good for connecting with inner guidance and intuition. 

Music is great for bringing in spirits. Music is this incredible source of energy that carries over despite language, time period, or place. We all love music! Music can change a room in a minute. With music you are transported to a different time and place. This is great especially for spirits from older periods as it brings out a lot of nostalgia and emotion. Music also helps you get into the right headspace for communication as well.

Special objects are used all the time in ghost shows. Personal belongings such as jewelry, books, or clothes work well. Toys and crayons for children have been known to get them to come out and play. Things from the person’s time period or hobbies they did can help draw them in as well.

Food

Food is what gives us energy, and that doesn’t change much in the spirit realm either. Some good basic foods to bring are things like bread, fruit, baked goods, tea, or alcohol. I've found unless there is specific trauma around it, most spirits accept alcohol/cigarettes. Consider the time period or region of your location. 

If you are investigating an old house or mansion, what food was popular at the time? What food was popular in the region? Try and give something that is familiar or would be a treat for them. Crack open a cold one for the spirits in your haunted bar, maybe offer up some peanuts or chips to bring the people in. Invite the lady of the mansion some nice tea or cakes and a chat. 

If investigating a hospital/mental ward/prison, consider bringing something from the outside world. From my personal experience there is nothing someone wants more after a long stint in the hospital than a big burger. These people died eating the blandest shit imaginable (if they weren’t starved) so try something they wouldn’t have been able to have before. You don’t have to cook a wagyu beef steak, but cookies or sweets could go a long way in winning the favour of more shy or angry spirits. Bring milk and cookies to the children’s ward for a treat! Give the kids the sugar they couldn’t have in this realm!

What do spirits do with food?

Think about all the energy you put into cooking! All the stirring, kneading, heating, cooling, oils, herbs, meats, water, all has energy that gets combined and condensed when food is made. In my mortal opinion, spirits can feed off of this energy like we eat food. This is why I think some food offerings shrivel quicker. The energy from the cow used to produce the milk is carried down through the milking, pasteurization, packaging, distribution and receiving of one single bottle, gaining more energy each step of the way. Machinery used to make food feeds into that energy as well as the people who make it. You ever buy food and can taste the energy of the overworked underpaid worker who made it? Homemade items are usually the best, but store bought works just the same. 

I also believe that the spirit can manifest to physically eat the food. This could either be an apparition or manifesting in the form of an animal. 

If the food is store bought I might suggest cleansing it spiritually before offering it. 

What to do with the food?

There are a couple options here. The easiest one is just leave it and let nature take its course. Liquids are usually poured on the ground or drain. If you are not on your own property I would suggest other methods such as burying(if it won't harm the wildlife) or (SAFELY) burning. I would use a big fireproof bowl such as a glass or metal mixing bowl (probably best if it’s not the one you use in the kitchen). If you are able to leave it overnight and come back to it, take note of any changes to the food! I like to keep my offerings out overnight but if it is going to spoil or stink then whenever you are done/they are done is fine.

Incense

Fire is an amazing element! Prometheus ain’t getting his liver eaten eternally for nothing! Fire can turn herbs and resins into magic in a flash. There’s a reason incense has been used for centuries in ritual practices all over the world. This can be done with sticks, cones, resins, bundles or loose. If you are going to burn incense PLEASE do this carefully as well.

Herbs and plants I usually burn are mugwort, wormwood, damiana, sandalwood, lavender, and cedar. This can be done either as a blend or individually. These are usually burned on a charcoal disk or as a stick if I can find one. 

Resins are also common for rituals and spirit contact. There’s a reason Christians love to hotbox themselves with frankincense and myrrh. Shit works! These take a little more work so I suggest planning ahead if you are going to use these.

If you’re a cop you have to tell us!!! Ok now that the cops are gone this might sound wack, but in my experience, ghosts love drugs. I have yet to encounter a spirit who did not like weed. I have been told specifically to smoke weed with my spirits to help charge and cleanse them. Taking a rip from a bong invokes all four elements and helps center yourself. I wouldn’t suggest toking up in a haunted mansion, but a sprinkle of flower or kief on a charcoal disk can work as well. Use tobacco wisely as it is sacred to many Native cultures. Use Native grown tobacco and treat the herb with the respect it deserves. White supremacy and capitalism have tainted tobacco to be what it is now. If offering cigarettes, I suggest using the more organic ones. That being said, if you know a specific brand the spirit likes, opt for that one. I would suggest burying this offering as burning it may cause health issues, set off fire alarms, or leave a harsh smell. 

Consider the type of haunting or spirit you are going to interact with. What do previous reports say the activity is?  What type of location is it? What was this land before something was built here? I will briefly cover different types of hauntings and spirits that are common for ghost investigations. This is by no means all-encompassing but I’ve gathered this much from observations.

Active haunting. Classic ghost haunting. This type of spirit is aware of their surroundings to a degree. Usually conscious of the fact they are dead but not always. Common characteristics are:

Footsteps

Lights flickering

Feelings of being watched

Temperature drops

Hearing voices

Apparitions (full body, partial, shadow beings)

Mild physical activity (touching, doors closing/opening on their own, minor movement of objects)

Residual haunting. More common for places of tragedy, this type of spirit is usually not aware of their surroundings and instead are repeating moments of their life. Most characteristics apply from active hauntings to residual as well.  The main difference is activity is done in a pattern. Common characteristics are:

Activity that comes in cycles or patterns i.e. specific times of day/year, specific places

Footsteps

Movement of specific objects

Voices or audio that does is not in response to the living word

Apparitions seen around same place/time

Poltergeist. This is the more active type of haunting. Most horror movies are based on this type. This type of haunting usually happens when a spirit is very powerful, usually angered or annoyed. The spirit is very aware of its surroundings. Common characteristics are:

Apparitions of all kinds

Footsteps

Doors slamming

Wall banging

Intense physical activity (things being thrown, moved, broken, or disappearing)

Physical presence (cold rooms, being able to push or grab people)

Behaviour change  in people (more aggressive, sad, or just strange behaviour in general)

There is a lot of bleedover in regards to the categories, but it is usually determined by intensity and frequency of objects. 

During Contact

Ugh, nothing pisses me off more than people back-talking ghosts when they are trying to make contact. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar folks. Here’s quick do’s and don'ts of making contact with spirits.

Do:

Bring an offering

Announce your presence when you come in and state your business. Be polite and introduce yourself. Spirits are more likely to warm up to you if they know what your doing.

Explain your equipment as you set it up or use it. Show them where to talk on recorders, I can almost guarantee someone from the 1800s probably doesn’t know about REM pods, EMF detectors, and video cameras. Explain using simple language but remember you are not talking to a child (unless you are). Demonstrations of equipment can help you test out your gear and get the spirits used to it. Evidence doesn’t start when you turn off the lights, record as you set up in case curious ghosts have things to say

Thank the spirit when it responds! If you ask for a sign and they bang the wall, thank them! Even if it’s scary stuff like slamming doors it’s still good to thank them.

Don’t:

Provoking the spirits by taunting isn’t going to do shit but get you cursed. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Early seasons Zak Bagans shit. ‘I’m not scared of you! Come out and face me! Show yourself coward! Attack me!’ Okay dude good luck with that attachment!

You are a mere mortal in the presence of something you don’t understand, don’t be an asshole about it. Talk to them like they are people because they probably were once! Talk in a respectful tone and be humble.

Don’t get mad if they don’t respond. Be mindful of where you are and what you’re talking about. If you are asking a spirit about a horrific event, accept that they may not want to talk about it. The type of haunting may not be fit for the type of investigation you’re doing. 

NOT EVERY GHOST IS A DEMON OR EVIL. I’m so tired of every time someone has a negative interaction with a ghost it’s a demon. Maybe they’re just pissed off you’re in their space? Don’t throw around random labels just because you’re uncomfortable. 

Debunking is always good to try but disregarding unexplainable things discourages spirits from trying. Or they may try harder and you might not like what they do!

Ending Investigation

Show your gratitude. Dispose of your offerings properly and thank the spirits for their time and energy. Clean up any mess you may have left.

Cleanse the space.  Everyone likes to cleanse differently so I won’t go into it too deeply. Personally, I like to burn incense and use sound. I find ‘cleansing tones’ on Spotify and turn my bluetooth speaker upside down so the speaker is directly touching the surface. I believe this helps dispel negative energy. Other ways are using a bell, using cleansing water, visualization etc. Take only pictures, leave only footprints type of deal. This is especially important for places of violence or negative energies. 

I advise walking out of the space backwards so nothing can follow you and cleansing yourself when you are done. Too often people go into these spaces, rip the bandaid off the spiritual wounds and then leave. It’s cruel to keep these spirits bound to these places for our entertainment.

Only YOU can prevent spiritual fuckery!

Note: the source leads to an outside blog that is co-run by me. Some of the words may have been changed in this edition, but this is not plagiarism, i wrote both! The URL is randomly generated for now but it is still a legit website. Feel free to check out the other posts!

[yuikomorii]

I agree there are darker games than DL but Yui compared to those heroines is nothing if we’re going to look at it from not a subjective point of view.

I’ve played a bunch of otome games too and although I like Diabolik Lovers and your blog, I really can’t view Yui as a good heroine. People compliment her mental strength but little do they know all heroines share that trait, it’s a must in an otome games. The fact that she survived was not because she is “mentally strong” but because of plot armour. I’m pretty sure there were a few times when she wanted to k*ll herself but didn’t because the vampire she chose saved her.

Besides, this is a very popular opinion as far as I’ve seen in this fandom, but she’s respectfully an idiot. I was expecting her to be smarter than in the anime but she’s even more stupid in the game. I’ll give her credit in the manga though, they really did her justice here. There is a thin line between naivety and lacking brain cells, but Yui crossed that line already. She seems someone thoughtful in her monologues but then she opens that mouth and says or does such bullshit that makes me be scream. If the brothers were as villainous as they are said to be, I bet they would have wrecked her long before.

I remember that time when Rejet confirmed none of the Diaboys r*ped her in HDB because they pulled the dub-con card and made Little Miss Church girl like having sex in her monologues instead of hating it because wtf they were literally assaulting her but she was happy!? I don’t get why they’d make her act this way but r*pe is presented in most otome games and there are truly heroines who are disgusted by it, who I find way more relatable than her.

Feel free to delete or ignore this ask if you want, I just wanted to tell you my opinion. It’s probs not important at all but I just felt like taking this off my chest.

// But I've never claimed that Yui is the best heroine or anything like that. She's middle-tier because such a heroine won't appeal to everyone, which is understandable given that DL isn't your typical otome game. I agree that they are all mentally strong, particularly Haruka from Moshikami, who is literally the queen of this.

It’s true that if the Diaboys really existed, they would have slayed her the moment she said or did something wrong because vampires are monsters; they have no mercy for humans, who are merely prey in their eyes. Yet, it's just an otome game, they can't just kill her off because the story can't continue without a heroine.

Alright, let me tell you why Yui is stupid sometimes. Basically everyone is aware of that, Rejet intentionally writes her lacking brain cells from time to time, but let me explain why:

According to Japanese otome game polls, players don’t like when the heroine is better than them. While they do like a heroine with her own design and background, they don’t want her to be smarter, more skilled, cooler or more interesting than them.

I remember these Japanese fans on Twitter discussing about heroines, and one of them said, "Yui-chan is a little foolish, but she's so cute!" and someone else responded, "True, she's so kind too!" As you can see, Japanese players don't mind if Yui is dumber than them; they acknowledge it, but they focus on her positive traits more. Japan has never had a problem with “stupidity” in media, characters who are occasionally dummies but also sympathetic or emotional supports are frequently fan favorites.

Yui, in my opinion, is not that stupid; in fact, none of the DL characters can be called that. I'd rather call her dense and slow-minded because she acts before thinking and doesn't always consider the consequences. Still, because we all come from different countries and have met different types of people, we can’t perceive stupidity identically.

I know Rejet confirmed that they didn’t rap€ her in HDB in one of the cg books, but as you stated, that’s because of dub-con.

Fyi, dub-con(dubious consent) is part of Japanese pop culture and is considered something very attractive there. It basically means a fictional situation in which the consent is not clear, the character can cry and scream but they admit liking it in their thoughts. The situation may not be real-world levels of consenting, but the victim is not perceiving themselves as a victim because they desire the sex act, which is indeed true in Yui’s case.

You can notice that in Kanato’s HDB lake sex scene, Yui says in her monologue that what he’s doing to her is not undesirable. Another scene is in Ayato's HDB route, where Yui clearly states that Ayato's genuine smile and his "You're mine" declaration go straight to her heart, essentially giving her a hint that he likes her back.

Yui's dream was to become a nun, but the moment she has sex, she abruptly changes her mind and genuinely enjoys it, so I can't get her carnal desire. I know some faithful heroines too but yeah, they disliked the thought of losing their virginity, and the love interests were really manipulative there too. If she hadn't been a church girl, I wouldn't have had anything against it, but I must confess that they made her far too horny for someone with a religious background and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Sure, hormones are typical at that age, and it can be amusing seeing her act like that, but literally getting sexually-frustrated because your vampire lover doesn’t screw you or suck your blood anymore is already way over the top. But whatever, she’s just like that in the bad endings. I mean, she still gets horny but at least not that bad. xD

I guess these are some of the reasons why DL shouldn’t be localized; it presents themes Westerns will find unsettling, while the Japanese audience will consider those hot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[neverwritewhatyouknow]

Ok hi respectfully I think your “hypothetical” question on twitter was not the best way to get your point across. This movie is a really big deal for queer Latine folks and treating the reduction of background character’s religion as something worse than a fully white British actor playing an ethnically Latine character was very selfish of you. If Nora’s Jewish identity was more central to her identity in the book it might have made it into the movie but that’s not my point. Alex is a canonically Mexican character being played by TZP who is actually Mexican himself. That doesn’t happen often. Latine characters get played by actors who aren’t from their countries all the fucking time (not that you or any non-latine notice, much less care) and finally that’s not the case with this movie. It makes me really sick how you are trying to overshadow what this means to queer Mexicans, Mixtec and queer Latines. If you want Jewish representation that’s fair but you should fully understand the significance of this first, acknowledge that the method you used to make your point was harmful, and stop making it all about you.

Hi, respectfully

Jewish isn’t just a religion. Judaism is the religion. Jewish people can be followers of Judaism, but you don’t have to be religious to be Jewish.

It’s an ethnicity, a culture, a people, a tribe.

I am in NO way trying to devalue the importance this movie is for Latine people. I’m so fucking happy that they actually cast an actor for Alex who actually fits Alex. That was the first thing I checked when the whole cast was revealed. I literally couldn’t be happier.

I do notice every single time that a minority in anything is played by the wrong minority, so thank you for assuming I don’t. I actively work in the Hollywood industry, I live in LA, and I’m a part of various organizations that fight for the rights of all minorities to have equal and positive representation in media, that always includes Latine people.

The question, in question was to prove that it’s wrong to erase any minority. People, a lot of the time, don’t seem to want to really understand where others come from unless you make a super big and wild example. Do I want a white guy to be Alex? FUCK NO! Literally even when I was typing it, I was like, there’s nobody who would agree with this, it’s fucking insane. (Luckily, it only looks like 2 people agreed and I’d claim those as bots before thinking anyone would agree).

Was it the best comparison? Probably not. But was it effective to get people to understand that canon ethnicities can’t just be erased when the production wants a cool actor? Yes. And it’s not to take away from Alex or his story or anything even related to him, it’s to show that the question is So blindly upsetting, because it is really upsetting when your ethnicity and culture get erased. It’s so painful and upsetting and terrible. No matter who it is. Jewish characters are so rarely played by Jewish actors, non-Jews play them all the fucking time. So yeah, I get it, Anon. We’re fighting the same fight. We both want representation for who we are, and we both deserve that a million times over

Nora also isn’t a background character. She was one of the biggest characters in the book. She was in just about every important scene that wasn’t just Alex and Henry. She’s kinda a big deal (don’t know if they made her smaller in the movie, especially with the whole June thing). Her Jewishness was on every page, it was central to her because it’s who she was. She was smart and awesome and cool, and Jewish. It shouldn’t have to be central to her story to be worthy of representation. Jews don’t have to “play Jewish” to be seen as such. We exist just like you, it’s just a part of who we are. We don’t have to constantly be, what? Eating bagels and talking about pogroms? to be seen as Jewish. We’re normal people. It not being central to her is actually what makes her so different from other Jewish characters, because she’s not a Jewish joke.

Queer Latine people SHOULD celebrate this movie. I’m celebrating with you, for you. But two things can be true at once, Alex is fucking great and obviously should only ever be played by a Latino actor. Not even a question. And, that it was wrong of the movie to erase Nora’s ethnicity too. Because Jews deserve rep.

And honestly, if you want to be mad at anyone for the hypothetical existing at all, blame the production. Not for removing Nora (I mean, yeah, that’s the reason for all of this), but because for the past year I’ve been trying to show them how what they did was wrong and I’ve been educating on Jew-erasure and antisemitism, and informing them on all things everything. And they have remained silent or blocked when questioned at all. I wouldn’t have had to post it, had the movie acknowledged at any point what they did, besides the blocking.

But anyway, welcome to my Tumblr, Anon. Please take a look around. If you have any questions, you know where my Ask box is. I’m way more likely to see messages on here than Twitter.

[yakultstanreblog]

This is likely not a new perspective or anything (may be obvious) but personally, I’ve found a new use/appreciation for ai/chatgpt as a tool to enhance academia/school/college/uni, that I think is quite beneficial for a lot of people (and if you disagree, then it’s likely that ‘some people’ are not you). I only mention this because as someone who has never cheat throughout their entire academic life and enjoys the process of writing essays on their own (and am lucky enough to naturally gain success with ease in doing so), I’ve previously steered clear completely of Ai until this semester, not realising how it could be utilised as a tool to enhance my originality.

I am neurodiverse and fluctuate between verbal/non-verbal, so while some semesters I don’t shut up, this semester I’ve rarely said a word in class at uni (literally, I’ve spoken two words in one class and that is all), but I’m also chronically ill so I rarely turn up to class in general anyway (which is optional at my uni, but we all know even just listening in on class discussion can be at least slightly beneficial and is preferred).

Anyways, as an alternative (or in addition) for class discussion, I highly recommend just yapping away to chatgpt.. the reason I find this works well is because, well, ChatGPT isn’t going to come up with anything revolutionary.. and in my experience neither do most the other students in my class (respectfully). I tend to try to go to class just to listen in on the general consensus/surface level understanding of a concept (which ChatGPT tends to offer) as my neurodiverse mind tends to skim over the obvious and instantly attempts to delve deeper, but it’s important to understand the general or surface-level understanding, so then you have a clear understanding where the marker is coming from/their biases etc. (I know they say it doesn’t matter but in my experience it slightly does but I won’t go on another tangent right now) which then allows me to integrate my own often differing perspectives whilst also additionally demonstrating I have the same clear understanding the neurotypicals gained ( I promise integrating both will get you extra marks, at least in my experience - embrace your neurodiversity here, because you’re able to offer something new which often excites a marker as it drags them out of their boredom).

I find this super beneficial because 1. Obviously there is less anxiety involved asking any question you want/making any statements to a bot with no judgement (though Ai is something sassy) 2. I am actually outputting much more than I would if I just went and sat in (non-verbally) on a class discussion and getting out your thoughts on a concept helps you to clarify in your mind your own understanding/interpretation/perspective; with ChatGPT’s average ass responses to your ideas, giving you an idea of how they may be received/refuted by basic bitches, allowing you to strengthen your ideas and so on.. basically you’re actually finally engaging in discussion(congrats!) even if it is with a bot lol 3. you don’t have to talk out loud 4. you can engage in the discussion at your own pace!!!! if you’re not ready to move on in discussion you don’t have to. Spend as much time back and forth until you properly understand the differing perspectives.

BUT if you’re going to utilise this here are a few tips to remember:

1. Make sure you provide ChatGPT with all the relevant background info/somewhat direct the conversation yourself/be specific.. this is because most the time there’s no point having an understanding on a general topic if it doesn’t relate to the specific content of your course/what your lecturer teaches.. markers are almost always looking to see if you can demonstrate an understanding specifically of what THEY taught, so your understanding/essay or whatever should not be able to be written by any random intelligent person who has used to ChatGPT.. you need to make sure it relates specifically back to your course content!

2. ChatGPT is also really great for summarising text from way back in the day that’s barely comparable to modern English such as philosophical text(the main reason I turned to ai lol) etc. I highly recommend utilising it for this to have concepts put into plain English but again, make sure you keep referring back to the original text you are studying and analyse comparisons, pinpoint ideas etc. so your marker believes you drew these key ideas directly from the text and what they taught you.

Again, all this might be obvious and I’m the last to the party but honestly I’m just having a quick study break right now so I thought I’d yap away about reasons ChatGPT doesn’t have to be completely demonised in academia :,)

[blackbellybella]

This just randomly popped in my head, she’s my favorite character and I’m always thinking about her in some capacity.

The debate about Yoruichi’s ethnicity

I’m skipping past the whole “when a character is deemed attractive in anime with darker skin or different color skin, they can’t be black coded bc I’m attracted to them” thing that’s something y’all gotta decolonize and unpack for y’all’s self

And past the there’s no black Japanese’s people when work visa and moving abroad is thing that’s been happening for centuries along with interracial marriages. Also look into japans history with Brasil. That’s what heavily influenced theming for michiko x hatchin and cowboy bebop. Since bleach was in that same era I feel the influence is there too. And all the military bases there… there’s black people in Japan

The thing that gets me the reason for the post, is the argument that she is middle eastern or south East Asian. More specifically Indian, mainly because I don’t argue that she isn’t they leave her background very open for interpretation. But yall do know there are black people in those areas? So she could very well still be black.

You have Egyptian, Eritrean, Ethiopian, if you want actually in India you’ve got the people of Siddi most of which are descendants of the Bantu people, Libya, Sudanese people and that’s just a few. Also I don’t remember seeing any thing in the manga or anime that confirms she’s from India I only remember it being said all over the internet with no context to back it up. But even still she could be Indian or middle eastern and still be black. Both can be true at the same time…. It’s kinda a redundant counter argument. Respectfully.

Anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

✌🏾ALSO YORUICHI IS A DISNEY PRINCESS✌🏾

Umm yea idk how to end this it was just a very random thought. She is my phone wallpaper so maybe that’s what sparked it idk

Also she has an Afro in the new series soooo

[fedonciadale]

Where this last wave of hate at Sansasns came from? From what I've seen, encountered and checked they stay in their lane, not bothering other parts of fandom. It's not like I am pro Sansan, cause I'm not (it's actually makes me sick), but when critisizing ship we don't have to critisize shippers, like? I'm reading on all anti Sansan blogs how shipper of this are awful pedophiles and ones I met were mostly... assault survivors... and it was they way of coping, shipping two characters? (1/2)

(2/2) Let's remember, nonexistant characters. There's also this that they want Sansa to be unimportant, when Sansans I met where first to point out foreshadowing for her queenhood? Yes, they had significantly less than Jonsa have, but still. I actually love your blog because of it. No judging, no calling other shipper mentally ill, just judging text by what it is. I just feel it's unfair, I've returned to asoiaf thanks to few sansan shipping friends and now I read they are "disgusting" 😢

Hi there!

“Ship and let ship” is a difficult concept. Sigh. Yes, I wish, people wouldn’t assume something about other people just because of who they ship. I mean, Jonsas should know that. How many times has the insult “incest supporters” been thrown at us?

I cut Jonsas some slack, because of the way Jonsa shippers are vilified throughout the fandom. Still, that is no excuse to do the same as others do.

Most people have a problem differentiating between canon and fanon. As far as fanon is concerned, shippers should just leave each other be. I really don’t like Sans@n as a ship, but I have it blacklisted and there is absolutely no need to look at anything I don’t want to see. And if something slips through I just ignore it. There is certainly no need to get all riled up about how anyone could ship it. I mean, these people are strangers to me. I have no idea why and how they ship it.

And in regard to canon we should remember that we differ in how we interprete a  work of literature. And it is always possible to come to different conclusions. There is no need to throw names at each other because of that. Literature is read differenly by everybody according to our backgrounds, our experiences, the books we’ve already read.

I still hold to my opinion that it is not possible to like Sansa and wish her well and want her to end up with the Hound, Tyrion or Littlefinger. Nevertheless it is possible to conclude that this will be her ending - it just wouldn’t be a happy ending for her. I think the evidence is weak, but it’s not a crack theory. I just don’t think that GRRM is that dark.

And in regard to fandom history, you are quite right. Sans@n shippers were the first people to actually look closer at Sansa chapters and discover some of the foreshadowing that she’ll be important. They just didn’t go all the way to the logical conclusion (that a Queen would never marry someone from a very minor family).

I had some crazy anons about Sans@n in my inbox once in a while but I think that were mostly people who threw the standard arguments at me, not real shippers but people who ship Sans@n because they think that Sansa won’t come into the way of their Jon ships if she ends up with the Hound.

So, my advice would always be to curate the fandom experience, concentrate on what you like, not on what you hate. If you disagree about an interpretation of literature there is no need to assume anything about the people who differ in their opinions. Judge them personally by how they behave, not by who they ship. I dislike crazy antis in my inbox, not because they dislike Sansa (one of my best friends dislikes Sansa) but because they think they should police me and pester me.

It is definitely allowed though to respectfully show the blatant holes in their arguments, that is the argument not the person after all.

Thanks for the ask and continue to like who you like!

[buckttommy]

jack. i mean this so respectfully, because you know you and your background the best, and i don’t want to overstep at all, but re: autism. girl. some of the things you’ve said about being tired and also some of the ways you’ve described introvertedness/socializing have made me wonder. (not derogatory btw!! i mean this in the most complimentary way possible)

i was super late diagnosed and for me the biggest symptom initially was fatigue. i was literally ALWAYS tired. ALWAYS. and no one knew why. we went to so many doctors, did so many tests, and they were like “well there’s….technically nothing wrong…” also my whole life i thought “oh wow i’m just so introverted!” and then i heard other allistic introverted people describe how social interactions/being introverted felt to THEM and i was shocked. like, oh, we don’t all have to have weeks of mental prep leading up to an Activity? and we don’t all need to take immense recovery time after the activity?

and obviously an autism diagnosis is more than just fatigue and being completely wiped out by socializing, and it’s different for everyone, and as i’ve been doing my own research and reflections and hearing about autistic people’s experiences (especially from autistic afab and non-white ppl!!!), more things have come up that have made me go, “oh. yeah. autistic.” but for me, yeah, fatigue was the first FIRST thing. (but you’re also so correct that autism and trauma can present similarly!)

anyway i know you don’t know me and i’m saying this on anon and you don’t have to publish it at all but!! if you wanna talk about it ever or ask questions or anything, i’d love to share. (again, not to be presumptuous. i know you’re so capable of doing your own research and introspection!!)

anyway. xoxo autistic anon <3

now hollup just a minute —

[txemrn]

I am sorry but I respectfully disagree with your rationale for Ethan and MC’s relationship and particularly age gap being a barrier. In the game, nowhere does it say that the age gap is 10 years. It’s a natural conclusion but medical students and residents come in all ages. While there is an age gap, the length of it depends on the background one would presumably create for their MC.

I know you mentioned in your post that you don’t understand other people’s supposed OOC approach to Ethan. And that is your right. But even with the caveat you added to your response to that anon, the words you used to denigrate other people’s MC and Ethan relationship dynamics and experiences was insulting to those creators.

Hey, anon!

Thank you so much for coming directly to me and sharing your thoughts with me.

If it's okay with you, I'd like to go through this point by point.

You're right in that we don't know how old MC is in canon. Also, residents do come in all ages. Some people go straight through school after high school; some immediately go to making money and working after high school. Some people serve in our military while others go to school for a completely different career and choose to go to med school at a different time.

My concern wasn't age (even though it is a small factor); my concern for MC was her stage in life. A novice. Inexperienced. Hey, we all start out there one way or another, but we are talking about doctors here. I would never put them on a pedestal in comparison to other vocations, but they are a different breed, and an intern is unbelievably different from a well-seasoned diagnostician. That's all I was trying to say.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING🚨 (discussion of mental health)

This will probably be my only chance to explain myself, so I hope you don't mind if I use this opportunity to discuss my words and my intentions. I really do appreciate it.

In my original post, I wrote that I was "naturally curious why some may write these characters so OOC." I have been an active part of the Choices fandom for over 2.5 years, and I have seen all sorts of stories and stretches of the imagination. I do not say this flippantly or with disgust, but that we have a very creative fandom, and I want to know why people decide to go certain directions.

When I wrote out those descriptions of what people have done to LIs and MCs, I truly have no idea who specifically in the Open Heart fandom writes like this (I've only been writing OPH for about a year, and I'm on the outskirts of this fandom). I was thinking of what I have seen (and I have written myself) in the TNA and TRR fandoms, and they get awfully fluffy and awfully angsty and awfully OOC. I figured this must exist here.

What I have learned in my time here on Tumblr is that sometimes people make their LIs and their MCs and OCs OOC because it helps them cope (I'd like to reiterate 'sometimes'). It makes them feel good. Some people are obsessed with specific tropes because it makes them so happy. However, I have had the privilege of meeting people here who are either in terrible situations or they have been rescued from terrible situations, and it shows in their writing.

As an example, I personally write a lot of angsty situations. I have been asked all sorts of questions (some quite inappropriate) about my childhood because of my love of creating more emotional stories.

The point of all of this is some of these stories do come from darker places. I love that we have the gift of fanfiction to help some people cope and to get through those hard times. But, like I said before, "I just hope that if these stories are stemming from a sad or angry place IRL, I hope they are getting the help they need." Mental health is not something I would ever joke about. I truly do hope that the person who has darker thoughts and it spills it out into their writing: I hope they are reaching out to get help, whether that is talking to someone (a professional), joining a support group, or maybe even enlisting the help of a doctor and/or medications. My comment came from a place of genuine concern.

Now, having said that, to the creators I have offended, I would love the opportunity to talk with you and apologize. My intentions were never, ever to insult anyone. If you are one of those individuals reading this right now, I understand that you might not feel comfortable approaching me, and I understand. Please know that I would love to make this right, and I'm here to listen.

Anon, thank you so much for being brave and being honest with me. I really do appreciate your "ask" and your kindness.

[spacehead1127]

The mysteries of the world

Nobody will ever see my blog about random rambles lmao it’s as if it’s set to private but it’s out in the open waiting for someone to find it. Nice B) I like talking to a wall. 

Read or not, I’m still gonna put my thoughts out anyway. If anyone ever sees this, enjoy! :D Or if you don’t like reading, just ignore this. Or if you disagree with anything I say, feel free to point out your views if you want. I like discussing with people and attempting to understand different perspectives. I’m open to any criticism as long as it’s constructive. Thank you! 

Without further ado, for today’s topic it’s gonna involve my philosophical ass heh. If that’s what you would call it. 

This is a PART 2 of my text-podcast thing: go to my blog to see more!

As humans we have always been questioning the world: why and how it came to be. Thus, many millennia ago, humans started creating answers to the world that our human brains can comprehend and so, we would just follow it. And this is what we call, religion, to this day. We may or may not ever know the true secrets of the world, and I have a feeling it’s best to leave some questions unanswered for the sake of our sanity. 

Disclaimer before I continue: if what I am about to say may offend or hurt you in any way, I truly do not intend to do that and I apologise beforehand if I have. I am trying to come from a neutral perspective about the topics of religion and I genuinely do not mean any harm to anyone for their beliefs. Though I will admit, I may seem biassed because of my experiences that shaped my perspectives, but once again, I do not mean any harm. 

1. Being neutral

Personally, I grew up in a Buddhist background but I consider myself an atheist. I will get to that in a moment. The general definition of atheists is that they do not believe in any gods. There are some definitions out there that mean “atheism is a denial of gods”. For me, I don’t reject the thought about it but rather I just don’t have the belief, in a neutral way. No negativity about it at all. In fact, I find religions interesting and I’m grateful there are so many people out there who can learn moral values from their religions to be the best version of themselves, and I’m happy for them for that. I’m happy for the society as a whole to have a positive upbringing for their children. 

There’s this argument out there that people say you can’t be neutral and you have to “pick a side” if not you don’t know what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”. I have to respectfully disagree with that. Personally, I don’t think you have to believe in anything to be a good person. I don’t think your beliefs have to be permanent, either. Because I think as humans we should thrive for growth and change. Of course not all the time for the sake of it, but in healthy ways. “Healthy” as in not hurting others, and not hurting yourself. 

I don’t believe in “good” and “bad” or “right” and “wrong”. I think humans can be complex and that’s what makes us beautiful. But of course I do believe in positivity and negativity in the world. There are definitely ups and downs in everything, and that’s okay. I accept that. Nothing in the world is perfect after all, and life is a journey. But if you ask me what is the one thing I believe in? The Sun. I believe in Science. I believe in Life. I am forever curious about the whys and the hows of the world. I think it is great to question and learn. I love learning! It is such a beautiful process. 

I’ll get to why I consider myself an atheist. Of course I do have my own values in life and opinions about things. And it’s all shaped by my experiences I’ve had. As much as humans can build, we can also destroy. For me, I lost my beliefs in any religion mostly because of the people in it which includes my family. I have no issue with any religion itself at all, and I believe religions would never teach humans to bring harm to anyone for any reason whatsoever. But sadly where I’m from, there are so many people who bring intentional harm and claim that it’s because of their religion. And I really do not believe in that. I may be wrong. I think it’s the people who ruin it. It’s usually the people who alter the “words of god” just to make them their own. I know that I am touching sensitive topics here, forgive me. If there really are religions out there who teach us to do harm to anyone at all, then I apologise, because I am against that idea. I’m not against you who believe in it, but the idea itself. I may sound pessimistic for focusing on that part of religions but personally I am happier having my own beliefs and values as myself. The other thing I disagree about most religions is how they force their religion onto you. There were even wars that began just because of the differences in our beliefs. I may sound rude and hypocritical; but why can't we respect each other’s beliefs and mind our own business? (I’m aware I’m not minding my own business, just saying this for the sake of this topic lol) Is it necessary to promote religions in such a way that brings violence and war? Isn’t religion supposed to give humans hope in life? Have we lost all meaning for life? 

Though I do have several things I agree with certain religions and things I admire about them. Like for Buddhism, I agree with how desire and dissatisfaction can really screw up our lives. And how by practising gratitude can bring us happiness. It’s just for my family, they seem to be a more… toxic positivity (?) kind of vibe with Buddhism. They would be so close minded sometimes and strictly stereotype people as “bad” and “good”: “good is good” so we must always reward “the good” and “bad is bad” so we’ll continue kicking them into the dirt and let them rot in hell. Bro. What. Aren’t you going to help them? They also seem so hypocritical all the time because of how they say they are kind and all-giving and full of gratitude but they really are not aware of things like how mental illnesses are a real problem. If you have social anxiety and depression, they’d think you are a “bad” person for your, let’s say, pessimistic and needy behaviour but wouldn’t consider helping you. Asian parents. Amirite. Anyway. Another thing I absolutely admire about monotheistic religions is how disciplined they are. I admire how Muslims pray 5 times a day and how they dress so modestly and value cleanliness. Not just for their God but indirectly I love that they are also doing it for themselves. It is truly admirable. And I’m saying this as an atheist, their faith in Allah is beautiful, really. I’m happy for them. I’m from southeast Asia, so where I’m from there are a lot of races and religions mixed together. Although not everything is perfect and it doesn’t mean there is absolutely no racism and prejudice around here, I can still say that among us civilians, we’re pretty comfortable around each other and it’s a nice experience having friends of different races and cultures.

2. War and peace

Consider me a pacifist, because I really do not believe in war. Hatred and negativity will honestly get us nowhere. Why hate on things when you can respect and love? Isn’t it tiring to hate? I have been on the hating end and trust me it is very exhausting. In the end, I was only bringing myself down and affecting my own life. But for war, I can understand how messy it can be and the pain and suffering that came from it. Although war can be so immature. Sometimes things just happen and there isn't really anyone to blame it for. What’s happened, happened. Passing on blame to anyone for all our miseries isn't really going to solve anything, we’re just gonna continue dividing society even more than it already is. 

Which brings me back to the topic about being neutral. I hate how people force us to “pick a side” and if you don’t, you’re an enemy to them. (I am using the word “hate” lightly. It’s to the situation as a whole, not the people themselves) And apparently you’re also an oppressor by just letting it happen. I agree with that but only to a certain extent. Since war can be so immature, picking a side at all is gross. Why are you even trying to divide yourselves further? Let go of your ego and take a big step back and see the full picture. In the end I don’t think it’s even about winning or losing anymore, because war is a loss for everyone. Nobody can leave the battleground unscathed one way or another. War always brings destruction. Having a mindset that you can only destroy to create is just… screwed up. I’m sorry. I am being as nice as possible about this and this is where I stand my ground if you want to disagree with me on that one. 

In light of recent news and happenings, the Israel-Hamas situation. If you ask me, I’ve seen plenty of both sides. Overall? It’s exhausting. I think it’s so heartbreaking to see people tear each other apart. And it’s even more heartbreaking to see the ones who never asked for this war to get hurt. Ironic how an atheist is saying this, but I do pray for the situation to get better for them.

Unpopular opinion, but: I think some things in the world are meant to be divided forever. It is near impossible to ever get all humans to come together and not start conflict because of our differences in race, culture, religion, gender, ideologies, opinions, preferences, status, age, it will just go on and on. Even if we one day come to an understanding of each other enough to give each other respect and equality, I don’t think we can ever see each other the same because of how different we are. Humans want to be unique. And that’s okay. I don’t believe there is a real solution to peace. I am not being pessimistic about it, I am speaking realistically. The world is too divided to be ever brought back together; it is very complicated. But maybe that’s just the way things are meant to be. It’s just human nature. And of course I’m not being miserable about it, I am accepting it and living with it. Through my past experiences, I’ve learnt to shove down my ego whenever necessary and I’ve learnt to show people respect no matter who they are. The world is never perfect, but that’s okay. It’s all the more that makes the world interesting. Even if we ever have world peace, wouldn’t life be boring? There wouldn’t be a journey and lessons to learn from opposing point of views. Life would be too perfect and empty. Just like without light, there wouldn’t be darkness. But that’s just my opinion about it, and I’d like to hear yours :) 

3. Conclusion

My personal philosophies are,

We are all the same as a human species. We all have experiences, feelings, memories and opinions of our own—we all need to shit, eat and sleep everyday with a roof over our heads. And with that, there’s nothing else that should divide us anymore. Be grateful life is even a gift to us all. 

Love whoever you want to love, love whatever you want to love. As long as you’re not hurting anyone in the process including yourself, and as long as you’re truly happy. 

I believe the best way to live life is going with the flow of it with an open heart. Life may bring so many surprises, and there are so many things in this world that are temporary. Nothing is permanent, so be open to changes and live in the moment while learning from your past and embracing the future.

Everything needs balance. There is no in between. Don't do too much of one thing and too little of another. Stay in the middle or anywhere just right for you and you might just find peace.

This is getting long haha. I didn’t really plan out what I wanted to write, but I had some ideas in mind. I just went with the flow of my thoughts. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading till the end. And once again, I sincerely apologise if my words have hurt or offended you in any way. 

Have a great rest of the day ahead!  ♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪)

[angelvyxen]

SHARE YOUR THEORIES NEOW IMMEDIATELY I WANT TO KNOW

Let me start by saying if you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. Just don’t came at me sideways. Respectfully disagree and move on.

Like I said before, everything has a domino effect. There is a reason for why we aren’t getting married as much, and a reason for that reason. The 2 main factors my theory surrounds are white people and black men.

I’ll start with slavery. Slaves already came from a background where marriage was valued and that was only amplified as slavery progressed. Partnership was a cornerstone of our community because we understood that staying together was the only way that we could thrive. Black men still had love and respect for black women. [1619-1860s-80s]

When slavery ended, black people were rebuilding and the value placed on partnership was still alive and well. White people didn’t like that. Black peoples success meant their demise and to combat this, they did everything to keep us separate; this is when things like mass incarceration and Jim Crow were introduced. These actively made it hard for black families to not only stay together but to get together. Now, it became semi common to see black households without a father because they were all either in jail or dead, which at this time wasn’t their fault. Remember this. [1880s-1960s]

Now let’s shift into white propaganda, where coons start to arise. I’ll try to be brief. White people controlled everything, this included the media and this had been the case for hundreds of years. Black people as a whole were portrayed as animalistic, manly, and lawless, both men and women. Black women had been given the reputation of being promiscuous and ugly, especially if they possessed black traits like dark skin, coily hair, etc. 

Whiteness was next to Godliness and they had been drilling that into black peoples heads since slavery (think of how mixed or lighter skinned black people were house slaves). Black men also had negative stereotypes attached to them, but the difference is there’s could be sexualized. They were seen as big, rough, and too strong for their own good which on one side of the spectrum got them killed but on the other side of the spectrum got them ✨the attention of white women✨. Snow bunnies and Mandingos/Coons have now made their appearance.

You’d think black men would have common sense and see that them being sexualized was in fact not a good thing… they did not. In fact, they saw it was a power move as they still do till this day. White women were like a prize, and now that prize was accessible to them. I believe this is where we saw the biggest shift. Black men lost their damn minds, and instead of valuing the women that had been down for them for hundreds of years, they wanted white and if they couldn’t get white, they wanted the closest thing to it— light. The black men who managed to marry white women got certain privileges, they were less likely to get thrown in jail and or be lynched.

Resentment for black women from their own men grew, respect, love, and value of partnership was lost and in short; black men lost their goddamn minds and never looked back since. While black women progressed in life and went to school, raised children, built business, and continued to be a driving force in the community for equality, black men were still chasing behind anything that resembled the color of a brown paper bag or lighter and repeating the jail cycle.

Now we come to today; the resentment for black women is at an all time high because now not only do they view us as less, they’re upset because we’ve moved up in society. Thus the shift continues to grow. Black men despise their women and refuse to get married to them because of heavy underlying self-hatred that they refuse to address, Black women are slowly getting tired of waiting around for Black men to get their shit together and catch up in life, and nobody wants to marry anybody. 🤷🏾‍♀️ that in short is how I believe the history went down. I hope it made sense.

[ironhusband]

I’ve been going through the tags on Pavi’s gifset about the difference between Sam and Rhodey and their best friends’ legacy, and I’m... Steve stans are so used to yes men for Steve that they think disagreeing with your best friend means you secretly hate him, I hate it here. 

[fozmeadows]

race & culture in fandom

For the past decade, English language fanwriting culture post the days of LiveJournal and Strikethrough has been hugely shaped by a handful of megafandoms that exploded across AO3 and tumblr – I’m talking Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Dr Who, the MCU, Harry Potter, Star Wars, BBC Sherlock – which have all been overwhelmingly white. I don’t mean in terms of the fans themselves, although whiteness also figures prominently in said fandoms: I mean that the source materials themselves feature very few POC, and the ones who are there tended to be done dirty by the creators.

Periodically, this has led POC in fandom to point out, extremely reasonably, that even where non-white characters do get central roles in various media properties, they’re often overlooked by fandom at large, such that the popular focus stays primarily on the white characters. Sometimes this happened (it was argued) because the POC characters were secondary to begin with and as such attracted less fan devotion (although this has never stopped fandoms from picking a random white gremlin from the background cast and elevating them to the status of Fave); at other times, however, there has been a clear trend of sidelining POC leads in favour of white alternatives (as per Finn, Poe and Rose Tico being edged out in Star Wars shipping by Hux, Kylo and Rey). I mention this, not to demonize individuals whose preferred ships happen to involve white characters, but to point out the collective impact these trends can have on POC in fandom spaces: it’s not bad to ship what you ship, but that doesn’t mean there’s no utility in analysing what’s popular and why through a racial lens.

All this being so, it feels increasingly salient that fanwriting culture as exists right now developed under the influence and in the shadow of these white-dominated fandoms – specifically, the taboo against criticizing or critiquing fics for any reason. Certainly, there’s a hell of a lot of value to Don’t Like, Don’t Read as a general policy, especially when it comes to the darker, kinkier side of ficwriting, and whether the context is professional or recreational, offering someone direct, unsolicited feedback on their writing style is a dick move. But on the flipside, the anti-criticism culture in fanwriting has consistently worked against fans of colour who speak out about racist tropes, fan ignorance and hurtful portrayals of living cultures. Voicing anything negative about works created for free is seen as violating a core rule of ficwriting culture – but as that culture has been foundationally shaped by white fandoms, white characters and, overwhelmingly, white ideas about what’s allowed and what isn’t, we ought to consider that all critical contexts are not created equal.

Right now, the rise of C-drama (and K-drama, and J-drama) fandoms is seeing a surge of white creators – myself included – writing fics for fandoms in which no white people exist, and where the cultural context which informs the canon is different to western norms. Which isn’t to say that no popular fandoms focused on POC have existed before now – K-pop RPF and anime fandoms, for example, have been big for a while. But with the success of The Untamed, more western fans are investing in stories whose plots, references, characterization and settings are so fundamentally rooted in real Chinese history and living Chinese culture that it’s not really possible to write around it. And yet, inevitably, too many in fandom are trying to do just that, treating respect for Chinese culture or an attempt to understand it as optional extras – because surely, fandom shouldn’t feel like work. If you’re writing something for free, on your own time, for your own pleasure, why should anyone else get to demand that you research the subject matter first?

Because it matters, is the short answer. Because race and culture are not made-up things like lightsabers and werewolves that you can alter, mock or misunderstand without the risk of hurting or marginalizing actual real people – and because, quite frankly, we already know that fandom is capable of drawing lines in the sand where it chooses. When Brony culture first reared its head (hah), the online fandom for My Little Pony – which, like the other fandoms we’re discussing here, is overwhelmingly female – was initially welcoming. It felt like progress, that so many straight men could identify with such a feminine show; a potential sign that maybe, we were finally leaving the era of mainstream hypermasculine fandom bullshit behind, at least in this one arena. And then, in pretty much the blink of an eye, things got overwhelmingly bad. Artists drawing hardcorn porn didn’t tag their works as adult, leading to those images flooding the public search results for a children’s show. Women were edged out of their own spaces. Bronies got aggressive, posting harsh, ugly criticism of artists whose gijinka interpretations of the Mane Six as humans were deemed insufficiently fuckable.

The resulting fandom conflict was deeply unpleasant, but in the end, the verdict was laid down loud and clear: if you cannot comport yourself like a decent fucking person – if your base mode of engagement within a fandom is to coopt it from the original audience and declare it newly cool only because you’re into it now; if you do not, at the very least, attempt to understand and respect the original context so as to engage appropriately (in this case, by acknowledging that the media you’re consuming was foundational to many women who were there before you and is still consumed by minors, and tagging your goddamn porn) – then the rest of fandom will treat you like a social biohazard, and rightly so.

Here’s the thing, fellow white people: when it comes to C-drama fandoms and other non-white, non-western properties? We are the Bronies.

Not, I hasten to add, in terms of toxic fuckery – though if we don’t get our collective shit together, I’m not taking that darkest timeline off the table. What I mean is that, by virtue of the whiteminding which, both consciously and unconsciously, has shaped current fan culture, particularly in terms of ficwriting conventions, we’re collectively acting as though we’re the primary audience for narratives that weren’t actually made with us in mind, being hostile dicks to Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans when they take the time to point out what we’re getting wrong. We’re bristling because we’ve conceived of ficwriting as a place wherein No Criticism Occurs without questioning how this culture, while valuable in some respects, also serves to uphold, excuse and perpetuate microaggresions and other forms of racism, lashing out or falling back on passive aggression when POC, quite understandably, talk about how they’re sick and tired of our bullshit.

An analogy: one of the most helpful and important tags on AO3 is the one for homophobia, not just because it allows readers to brace for or opt out of reading content they might find distressing, but because it lets the reader know that the writer knows what homophobia is, and is employing it deliberately. When this concept is tagged, I – like many others – often feel more able to read about it than I do when it crops up in untagged works of commercial fiction, film or TV, because I don’t have to worry that the author thinks what they’re depicting is okay. I can say definitively, “yes, the author knows this is messed up, but has elected to tell a messed up story, a fact that will be obvious to anyone who reads this,” instead of worrying that someone will see a fucked up story blind and think “oh, I guess that’s fine.” The contextual framing matters, is the point – which is why it’s so jarring and unpleasant on those rare occasions when I do stumble on a fic whose author has legitimately mistaken homophobic microaggressions for cute banter. This is why, in a ficwriting culture that otherwise aggressively dislikes criticism, the request to tag for a certain thing – while still sometimes fraught – is generally permitted: it helps everyone to have a good time and to curate their fan experience appropriately.

But when white and/or western fans fail to educate ourselves about race, culture and the history of other countries and proceed to deploy that ignorance in our writing, we’re not tagging for racism as a thing we’ve explored deliberately; we’re just being ignorant at best and hateful at worst, which means fans of colour don’t know to avoid or brace for the content of those works until they get hit in the face with microaggresions and/or outright racism. Instead, the burden is placed on them to navigate a minefield not of their creation: which fans can be trusted to write respectfully? Who, if they make an error, will listen and apologise if the error is explained? Who, if lived experience, personal translations or cultural insights are shared, can be counted on to acknowledge those contributions rather than taking sole credit? Too often, fans of colour are being made to feel like guests in their own house, while white fans act like a tone-policing HOA.

Point being: fandom and ficwriting cultures as they currently exist badly need to confront the implicit acceptance of racism and cultural bias that underlies a lot of community rules about engagement and criticism, and that needs to start with white and western fans. We don’t want to be the new Bronies, guys. We need to do better.  

[im-constantly-fangirling-backup]

Here Comes the Cavalry

REPOST BECAUSE TUMBLR HATES ME

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Swear words

Word Count: ~2.3k

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting this, anon! I had a really fun time writing this and I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Charlie's 10th birthday finds itself the center of a showdown between Thomas and his ex-wife over the new woman in his life.

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Being a friend of the Shelby's- didn’t matter how close or distant- was like walking around with a target on your back. But you didn’t mind. As much violence and chaos that the family attracts, and as much as they try to have power over each other, there was a mutual love and respect between every Shelby that you hadn’t seen anywhere else. For example, when Polly found out Tommy had hidden crucial information, she was pissed; but also proud. It was a bit concerning, if you were going to be honest. Even Grace was kept in the loop after the divorce. Once a Shelby, always a Shelby, you supposed. Grace wasn’t involved in the family business at all, but she and the family met occasionally. Although, as time passed on, it was mostly so Charlie could spend time with his father. Grace was now remarried and her visits were far and in between. She drifted apart from all the Shelbys- not that they minded, as her betrayal was still in their minds all those years later. Thomas started to move on from her as well, now very much used to Grace not being a part of his day-to-day life. Today was the day that Grace and Charlie were making a rare visit to the Arrow House for his 10th birthday. Thomas postponed all of his meetings for the entire week to make time for his son, an action that made you smile when you heard Tom tell his clients of his absence. And they call him heartless, you had laughed to yourself. “Ada! How are you doing!” you said, hugging your best friend before walking into the Arrow House. You took off your coat and hung it on the hook next to the door. “Oh I’m doing great sweetheart,” she said. “Auntie Y/NNNNNN!” you heard a little boy’s voice yell from the stairs. The pitter-patter of their feet running across the wooden floor echoed through the large room and made you chuckle. “Hello, Karl!” you kneeled on your knees and opened your arms for Karl, who ran into them and almost made you topple over. “Someone’s excited to see me!” You squeezed him lightly, resting your cheek on his head. You pulled away from him and reached into your purse, grabbing a chocolate bar that you had bought for Karl. “I got you something!” Karl smiled, his cute crooked teeth on display. “Thank you!” He grabbed the bar from your hand and started unwrapping it, running away from you and towards the living room. “Uncle Arthur, look what Auntie Y/N gave me!” he yelled. “What did I say about the chocolate?” Ada chided you. You laughed. “I couldn’t help it Ada,” you defended yourself. “He’s too adorable to not spoil.” In the background, you heard Karl laugh loudly. “You can’t have any Uncle Arthur, it’s for me!” You chuckled and shook your head, looking down at the floor in mock exasperation. The Arrow House would be nothing without the echoes of Karl’s screams bouncing around the walls from time to time. Even Thomas seemed to brighten up a bit more whenever Karl and Ada visited. You supposed it was because his nephew reminded him of his own son that he barely got to see. At the thought of Charlie, you looked up to Ada. “When are Charlie and Grace showing up?” Ada shrugged. “They should be here in a couple of minutes. Why don’t we head to the living room? Tommy bought a shit ton of food for Charlie so we might be able to steal a bit.” _______________________________________________________________________________________ You and Ada made your way into the living room and smiled at the exquisite birthday decorations. There were balloons of every color bunched up every couple of feet around the room, a large birthday banner hanging proud and true on the wall across from the fireplace. “Hello, Y/N. Ada,” Tom said from where he sat on the couch, his elbows on his knees. You smiled at him. “Thomas.” Tom smirked slightly- which was a fucking bright-ass grin when it came to Thomas. “We’ve been over the ‘Thomas’ shit, Y/n/n,” he said, quirking his brow. You chuckled. “We have,” you said. “Tom. ‘S just fun to be all fucking formal.” Tom pat the spot on the couch next to him while Ada left your side, sensing that you two wanted some

time alone. You walked over to Tom and sat next to him. “You excited?” Thomas nodded, his blue eyes brightening slightly. “I hardly get to see Charles anymore. You bet your ass I’m spoiling me boy when he’s here,” he joked. You laughed. “I’m sure Charlie’s going to like all of this,” you gestured to the decorations around you. “Oh! Before I forget! Where should I put this?” You reached into your purse and pulled out a folded mancala board that Charlie had begged you for the last time he visited. Thomas smiled and took the board from you, leaning down and sliding it under the couch. “We’re going to open presents after cake, so just remember to pick it back up.” From there, you and Thomas began to talk about the family business. Unlike with Grace, Thomas found himself consulting you on many decisions that he made. You weren’t directly involved but your advice was greatly appreciated by the family. Especially since Thomas wanted to get into politics- a field that you knew well because your father ran for MP multiple times before his death- your advice on what not to do gave him valuable insight on how to maintain a favorable public image. “I know your past is something that can’t be erased,” you said in response to Tom’s concerns about the subject. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t be hidden. Or at least left ambiguous enough that people can’t ask the right questions. You keep the public from asking the right questions, and you make sure they can never find the answers.” “It’s a bit unnerving that you know this,” Tom noted, a smirk on his face. In truth, he was impressed. Your knowledge of politics was quite extensive considering your father tried to keep you away from it for most of your life. But you knew how to eavesdrop and read gossip, and so you gained a wealth of knowledge about politics. You laughed. “You’re acting like you don’t already know this.” Thomas took a drag of his cigarette and chuckled. “You got me there.” Your conversation was interrupted by the distinct shrill of the doorbell. Tom perked up and smiled. “Charles is here!” He practically jumped up from his seat on the couch and made his way to the hall. You followed him to the hall, beckoning Karl, Ada, and Arthur- who had been quietly eating food in the corner, thinking Tom hadn’t noticed- to come with you. You and the group walked into the hall to the sight of Thomas laughing and picking up Charlie in his arms and bouncing him up and down, making his son giggle. “Happy birthday Charlie!” you exclaimed, clapping. Arthur, Karl, Ada- and John and Polly, who had been talking in the hall after you arrived- clapped and joined in wishing Charlie a happy birthday. Charlie and Karl shared a hug that resulted in you awing. You looked at Grace and smiled. “Welcome, Grace,” you greeted her respectfully. Grace simply nodded at you and took off her coat. Turning around to put her coat on the coat hooks next to the door, she gasped lightly in shock when she saw your coat resting next to Tom’s. “Whose coat is this?” she asked casually. You apologized profusely. “It’s mine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to impose. I can find a different place for it-” Thomas waved his hand nonchalantly. “Oh, no need. You’re not imposing, Y/n/n.” You blushed slightly. “Frances can take your coat, Grace. I trust you remember who she is?” He jabbed at her lightly. Grace huffed and nodded. “Alright.” The tension between Tom and Grace was palpable and made everyone make excuses to leave the room. You left as well, saying something about wanting to play around with Karl and Charlie. You knew things were bad between Thomas and Grace. So bad, in fact, that Tom had approached her with a divorce. Tom was many things, but he wasn’t the type of person to reach for a divorce. He believed that marriage lasted for life. But after Tom’s and Grace’s arguments over his ambitions and dreams started to grow from skirmishes to screaming matches littered with threats, Thomas had enough. He told you the night that he decided to divorce Grace that he didn’t want to spend his life with a woman

that didn’t support his political and business ambitions. You found yourself sympathizing with both of them. You understood Grace’s concerns about the target that would always be on her and Charlie’s back because of Thomas’s ambition. But you also understood Thomas’s argument that his ambitions were also the thing that would provide his family with more opportunities than he had. Thomas’s goals were a double-edged sword. Although, Grace had become quite cold to Thomas in retaliation for the divorce, often sending him and his family veiled insults. So you didn’t feel much remorse for her when Tom made barbed comments like the one made in the hall. You sighed while watching Karl and Charlie play. It was going to be a long party. _______________________________________________________________________________________ All of you were eating cake, you talking with Polly about some gossip that you heard when going shopping for groceries. “Apparently Brandon was just using her for her status,” you said, licking the frosting off of your fork. “But then Brandon caught Melissa sleeping with her boss-” “No fucking way!” Polly interrupted, putting her plate down and gasping. “How the hell do these things happen to people!” You laughed. “I know right! My life is boring in comparison- and I hang out with you insane idiots!” “Hey!” John said from across the table, his mouth full of cake. “We’re not that bad!” “Speak for yourself,” Ada muttered from next to her brother, cringing when John stuck his cake-covered tongue out at her. “Honestly, Y/N,” Grace’s refined voice reverberated through the dining room, “You shouldn’t be gossiping this much. It’s a boring pastime.” You quirked your brow. “I’m sorry?” “Oh it’s alright, I understand that some people have nothing better to talk about. I’m just saying, gossip signals a bland personality and I’m sure you don’t have that, hm?” Grace’s implied message was clear. You sat in silence for a moment, surprised. “No?” you said, going along with whatever Grace said. In all honesty, you didn’t care what Grace thought of you. She barely visited enough for you to give a shit. But apparently, Tom didn’t want to let it slide. “Look, Grace, it’s not a big deal to gossip, alright? You’d be a big fucking hypocrite telling Y/n/n not to gossip when pretty much everything you talked about was who was fuckin’ who-” “Thomas!” Grace chided. “What? If you’re going to walk in here and criticize how Y/n/n spends their time, you can fuck off, alright? I don’t need some posh stuck-up woman in me house. So either behave yourself and let Charlie have a good birthday,” Thomas threatened, “Or get out of me house and have fun on the streets for a week.” “You’d let your own son live on the streets for a week?” Grace asked, shocked. “My threat regards only you. Charles is me blood- you make me see blood.” Grace looked down at her plate and picked up her fork and ate her cake again. Tom took that as an agreement to get along with everyone and started eating again as well. You were just thankful that you had sent Karl and Charlie to play upstairs. But regardless of the tense situation, a smile graced your face at the immediacy that Tom defended you with. _______________________________________________________________________________________ “Hey,” you tapped Thomas’s shoulder when you both found yourselves alone in the back room. “Thank you for defending me.” Tom nodded and smiled slightly. “Of course.” “I mean it. No one really defends me so I really appreciate it. Especially since it’s Grace.” Tommy’s brows raised slightly at that comment. “What do you mean?” You shrugged, looking anywhere but at Tom. “I mean, she was the woman that made you the person you used to be before France. I understand there’s some bad blood between you two now, but she’s still special to you.” Tom hummed and walked closer to you, stopping at around 2 feet away from you. “So are you, you know. You’re special to me.” You smiled. “You’re special to me, too.” Thomas’s hand cupped your cheek lightly, his thumb stroking

back and forth. A flush made its way to your cheeks and you smiled shyly at Tom. There was always some unspoken bond between the two of you that you danced around. You were always scared that it was too early after his divorce, but with the way that he was looking at you, he probably got over it a while ago. You don’t know who leaned forward first, but one second later your mouths were connected in a feverish kiss. Tom’s hands were traveling places, touching parts of your body that you caught him eyeing from time to time. Your hands rested against his chest and reveled in the feeling of his heart thumping against his chest as erratically as yours. So you had the same effect on him as he did on you. The kiss was a good indicator of that, but it was nice to have reassurance. Tom pulled away and rested his forehead on yours. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to do that for months now,” Tom confessed. You smiled, pecking him on the lips. “So have I,” you replied, pulling his mouth back to yours.

[writingwithcolor]

Assigning race to a character that dies in preventable accident

@mindfulwrath said:

I'm plotting a story wherein a remote space station has decided to become independent after one of their crewmates died in a preventable accident (due to mismanagement by the corporation that owns the station). I'm struggling with what the race of this particular crewmember should be (if it should be specified at all). On the one hand, a white martyr feels overdone; on the other hand, making the death of a person of color the inciting incident feels exploitative. The A-plot is intended to be more lighthearted, with the station crew collaborating to keep their independence plan a secret from management, while the B-plot focuses on honoring the life of the lost crewmember. Is there a way to write this setup sensitively, or do I need to go back to the drawing board? Are there issues with the setup that I haven't noticed? Thank you all for maintaining this excellent resource and continuing to answer questions!

Here’s some things to ask yourself as a writer: Why is this plot point compelling as a part of your setting? Why does writing this feel different to you with a white person versus a person of color? Reference this post Tragedy exploitation and do-NOTs as a non-OwnVoices writer, and examine your narrative in relation to the mentioned points, especially activist/rebellion narratives and escape narratives. Is your story going to be PoC-centric otherwise beyond this character if you choose to make them a person of color?

I’ll give you some starting points to consider in the narrative, much of which you’d need to think about whether or not the character is white.

1. Plot focus

How heavily is the B-plot going to focus on the accident and the tragedy for the character? How heavily will it focus on the other crew members' perspectives? Why is this incident specifically the inciting plot point as opposed to general abuses of the crew by the corporation or something that causes damage which they cannot get the resources for? How prominent will the death itself be as a part of the narrative? Is death absolutely necessary to give this narrative dimension?

Whether it’s mentioned as happening beforehand or within the narrative structure and whether it happens on- or off-screen all matter in this scenario. Placing extreme emphasis on the tragedy and how much pain it causes to the other characters can get fridgey very quickly. Based on what you sent us, I’m fairly sure you want to avoid that, so I’d tie in some of the lightheartedness of the main plot and talk about what the character meant to the crew beyond their death. Also, is the character who dies an integral part of the crew or are they isolated? Going too far one way or another can get you into martyr/fridging territory very easily.

2. Character background

If the character is white, can you get around the common tropes of a white martyr? Is the setting diverse enough to where this character could die/get injured without the scenario feeling like white martyrdom? This will heavily depend on how you design your crew for the scenario, and relies on informed choices about the make-up of the crew. It also depends on how the conflict ties into race and racism, and intersectional issues such as gender, religion, and sexuality. You don’t have to fixate on racism if it’s not one of the main themes, but in order to avoid exploitation, fridging, and martyring marginalized characters, you need to consider it in context.

If the character is a person of color, are they the only person of color on the crew? Are they one of a limited number within a predominantly white institution? This is where you want to be really careful of fridging/martyrdom. I would suggest having people from a variety of backgrounds within your crew, and at least a few other people coming from a similar background to the dead character in order to avoid isolating the character ethnically.

In terms of a character of color’s individual background, is there a specific group you’re looking into that the dead character would be a part of? Person of color is an enormous category, and you’ll need to get more specific to really consider the effects on any particular group that you choose. This is where tragedy exploitation can get very overt--tread carefully.

3. Nuance

If you really want to write this sensitively, the dead character can’t just be a symbol; they need to be a person. If you make them compelling and nuanced as a character in the minds both readers and other characters, give them dimension beyond ‘character being mourned’, establish diversity with purpose in your setting, and do some research into groups and customs that you can respectfully include, I think you can avoid the common pitfalls.

One final thing to consider is, again, whether you actually feel comfortable writing about this concept with a person of color. You need to evaluate your motivations as a writer for this plot point and consider whether you are ready to write this scenario.

~ Abhaya

[shitz-suji]

A Bridgerton-esque Romance (Headcanon)

I woke up and thought I had to finish this. At work. It’s long, but I hope it makes sense. Enjoy!  😅 

Forming a Connection Pt. 1

Falling in Love Pt. 2

The Romancing (Starts) Pt. 3

You feel the same way! He is so over the moon with joy (and relief, because he wouldn’t have known what to do with himself if you declined his affections)

It is a bit touch and go at first because Steven now finds himself in a new minefield with how to romance you in a way that isn’t him just showering you with luxury and gifts and you are still getting used to how it feels like to be the object of affection for one Steven Stone, celebrity.

You made it pretty clear to him that while you are happy about all of this, you never expected any of this to happen, largely due to the differences in your personal backgrounds. You might even have some lingering doubts because in the heat of the moment, you never considered what could happen to you if people found out about this new relationship with him.

No one outside has a clue yet. To the casual onlooker, everything still looks pretty professional.

Steven is every bit the gentleman that he is reputed to be. He’s a bit old fashioned (thanks to his father’s influence) and never pushes you too far, even when sometimes, he would like to speed things up a bit.

See, he had the time to deliberate on his feelings and emotions, but you were, quite literally, blindsided when he confessed all those things to you. You weren’t given that opportunity to think things through.

Maybe back when you started to feel something more for him, you were content to wait for those feelings to pass because why would he return them? It really didn’t make sense for you to have him come along suddenly and sweep you off your feet when you had to needle him for a straight answer when he wouldn’t give you one.

He knows that and doesn’t want to scare you off. But seeing as you aren’t completely against all of this, he knows that his new goal is to make your heart pitter patter as hard as his does for you.

Despite how Steven looks, he doesn’t have a way with words in the same way you do. His confession might have been touching, but he knows little about how to give reassurance, how to comfort someone, etc, with his words.

So his physical touch is how he conveys all of that to you. You start to see him reaching out more often to touch your hands or leaving a playful (and discreet) squeeze to your waist. If you have an exposed back or shoulder(s), you’ll eventually find his hand on that area if and when he is holding you (respectfully).

But his gaze is not always respectful and he wants you to know that. 

You find out that in private, he is not always the gentleman he makes himself out to be. He is serious, but also a bit of a flirt, and he has found that he likes the way you blush, the way you talk, the way you laugh and smile when it was just the two of you alone. He likes taking responsibility for all of that.

The few times that Steven has asked you out to an outing, they were very low-key. A trip to the coffeeshop, a walk around the park/beach, a dinner date in a back booth, a private reservation for shows, etc. It is just unfortunate that he is the one who has to take the initiative with outings because his is the busier schedule.

He has many things he wants to show you and many things he wants to do with you. He also has the money to make sure that the both of you are having a good time together when you're together.

So whenever he has free time, you’ll always find him close by. He won’t bother you if you are busy, but he’ll let you know that he wants to spend some time with you when you’re ready for it.

During one of your little outings with him though, someone notices something between the two of you. They snap a picture and post it on the web. People don't even have a full story, but they think they know something. Rumors fly.

Steven is generally well-insulated from the rumor mills that have plagued him for a good portion of his adult life. On the other hand, once it gets out that the other person in the picture is you, the people around you start looking at you differently. 

Did you approach him with the intent to take advantage of him? What would he want from you? Are you even good enough for him? Would you be able to introduce them to Steven?

You are strong. You are independent. These are traits of yours that drew Steven towards you in the first place. You don’t let this rattle you, especially not in front of him.

So he assumes that everything is fine and you’re taking this better than he thought. He might even think that it’s ok for him to initiate a little PDA now.

Unfortunately, once your patience is worn thin and your personal life is hanging from a thread, you’re the one who starts to withdraw. It gives him whiplash like nothing he’s ever experienced before, but you still try to assure him it’s fine, you’re just stressed, you haven’t gotten enough rest. You deflect.

As clumsy as he is with navigating all these changes, he’s been around you long enough to know that something has gone wrong and you are lying to him. He is hurt by that.

But how are you to tell him that technically, he’s contributing to your problems? You start to think that maybe all of this, your relationship with him, was not a good idea after all.

At this point, Steven is mostly in the dark about a lot of things. But he understands that he is the cause of some of your distress. Still, you won’t tell him why and tensions rise. All he wants to do is help you, but you won’t let him (either because of your own pride or because you don’t want to hurt him anymore than you already have by coming clean).

He is angry and annoyed because he isn’t used to feeling this way. You are angry and annoyed because he won’t let things be. Some bitter words are exchanged between the both of you and he tells you he’ll give you space so you both can cool down.

That’s fine for you until you cool down enough to realize you’ve driven away someone that is genuinely worried about you and was just trying to help. You messed up, but now you don’t know how to apologize. What if he’s done with you after all this?

Steven starts to throw himself into his work to clear his mind. He really is fine with waiting, no matter how long it takes, but as the days go by and you don’t come back, he starts feeling scared that maybe you don’t want anything to do with him anymore.

Then a message from you comes. A request to talk. He is eager to see you again, elated even, but when you’re standing in front of him again, looking like you’ve seen better days, his heart breaks a little.

He doesn’t look well either, but does he really care about that right now when you look like you’re one word away from shattering in front of him?

Everything from you pours out. It might be a little incoherent in some places, but he understands now. He was wrapped up in his idea of giving you this whirlwind romance when he should’ve stopped to ask if it was something you really wanted.

When you cry from the relief of unloading everything, he felt like his heart was being crushed into tiny pieces.

All he could really do is hold you and make you understand that he wasn’t going anywhere else. He is just honestly scared that you’ll leave him now and holding onto you is also his way of reassuring himself that you weren’t going anywhere else either.

When the tears have dried and the both of you are starting to think straight again, there is just a sense of relief that now, everything is out in the open. You let him know that you aren’t leaving him and moving forward, you'll work things out with him together, but you also ask if he is really alright with someone like you.

You’re relatively self-assured about yourself, but also you’re not a mega-celebrity nor do you have wealth like him. You might even think that your looks don’t hold a candle to his, to which all of this begs the question, why?

The reason why Steven wasn’t interested in dating in the first place was because everyone who tried to get close wanted something from him. Either they were trying to get close to Steven, the only son of Joseph Stone, or Champion Steven. 

You, on the other hand, only cared about his company. You might’ve butt heads with him in some fierce, pulse-pounding, but friendly intellectual and philosophical debates, but you never took liberties while his attention was on you.

Because you lowered his guard like that, the usual processes of emotional and physical attraction followed after, naturally. He fell first, and then you, realizing all his good and bad sides when he started to make an effort to hold onto your attention, fell second.

You tell him that while the whirlwind romance was nice, all you really cared about was the little things, and while it is great that he was capable of sweeping you off his feet, is it ok if you might not be able to do the same for him just yet?

All he could say to that is that you’ve already swept him off his feet a long ago.