#and every lodging is more than i can afford rn for maine in oct and if we go Oahu in jan i have to save days and $
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Planning travel is just a big old song and dance of "okay I know I'm poor, chronically disabled, and beholden to the man but this is a smidge ridiculous"
#i hate being the killjoy in all my friendships/relationships but my pto is not given up front its earned and i have to save sick leave#and every lodging is more than i can afford rn for maine in oct and if we go Oahu in jan i have to save days and $#and sure i can do those two trips but i doubt i can also manage a third big trip on top of it or at least i cant think it right now#because i still dont know if im in remission so i dont know what my health treatment looks like this year i don't know what to expect#and yes i want to travel i want to be reckless with abandon and leave my little life for the wild blue yonder but i cant just#leave myself without sick leave In case i end up with yet another diagnosis that requires immediate treatment#or spend money i need for said treatment or to pay of my cards/bills from the last rounds etc#sighs ignore me im just very tired#state employment is good but it doesnt pay much
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