#and everyone else would just. hate it

[rrat-king]

there’s a lot of tragic hard shit i could write about the fact that both adaine and kristen were stabbed by the unicorn but mostly i just like to think they chest bump a lot and kristen says it’s their ‘scars kissing’

[little-pondhead]

Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

[krazieka2]

FE Houses Doodles

[aingeal98]

Something about older Jason looking at the child version of himself, the innocent victim, and feeling the need to defend and avenge him the way no one else will. They'll call him reckless and try to pin the blame for his death on some unique failure of his personality, the problem isn't Robin the problem is he was just a bad fit for Robin! And then older Jason coming back to life and spits on their twisted grief. Fuck you, that innocent child deserved more. You took his memory and ruined it to make yourselves feel better. If no one will give him justice then Jason will take it himself no matter who he has to kill to get there. It's the only way he can move forward.

Something about older Cass looking at this child version of herself, this innocent who has no idea what she was doing when she was tricked into killing, and finding her irredeemable. She will forgive everyone for everything if they need a second chance but she cannot forgive that innocent child. She spends ten years wanting that child to die for their sin, a standard she holds no one else to. And in the end she does have to die. She can never forgive that child until the price has been paid and the guilty, tormented, suicidal mess of a girl is dead and never coming back. Only then can Cass live on. Only then can she smile without feeling the weight of her kill on her back. If no one will give that child the justice they deserve then she will have to do it herself. It's the only way she can move forward.

[izzystizzys]

it’s canon to me that anakin skywalker and marshall commander fox are archnemeses of a shakespearean nature to eachother

why? well, fox’ life is a tragedy of galactic proportions. he’s a slave at best and straight up non-sentient property at worst, caught at the crossroads of being the face of the republic’s most corrupt establishment to his brothers who resent him for being forced to bear an authority he has no actual control over, and being the closest and easiest target for that very authority’s ire. made to enforce the rigged and deeply unjust laws against his own oppressed peoples, and no one understands better than fox how much coruscant truly despises them. the chancellor at the heart of it all, and anakin, the favored pupil - taken in by the flattery and empty promises like all the rest of them, the jedi most intimately connected to the senate who yet cares so little to know the clones who shed their blood in it every day that he never sees beyond his own very nose. no one asks the guard what they think, and fox despises them all for it, but the jedi who play at caring more than anything. it’s an impersonal, distanced dislike for the most part, but with skywalker it burns all the brighter for how often fox sees him walk the halls of the senate and never think to ask.

also fox cut anakin off in traffic once and he never forgave him for it

[rottengurlz]

try to be gentle when you are ripping me apart 🔪

w/ @kashisun

[tippenfunkaport]

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

[sreppub]

saw many comments about no one ever believing dc superhero girls brucie could be batman :’) and clark is kind of a dick, so. made me think

dw, he’s still clark and im a superbat girlie; he’ll make it right afterwards :’’’’)

[the-way-astray]

whenever i see someone here say "[character from kotlc] would listen to taylor swift" i take level 100000000 psychic damage

[worstloki]

AU where Loki doesn’t interfere with Thor’s banishment at all and it takes Thor years to prove himself worthy and when he returns to Asgard everything is just. The same. Nothing seems to have changed at all and everyone greets him like his absence was a minor obstacle that didn’t fundamentally change Thor and the worst part is Loki stepped down from the place as regent without any delay and Thor can’t help but feel there’s something underlaying the way his brother looks at him now and won’t let him touch him and Thor doesn’t know what he could have missed because he doesn’t think he would have found anything wrong with the things around him and how everyone behaves if he hadn’t spent time on Earth reflecting.

[ofekma]

"noo but this time it's different! Our antisemitism is morally justified! We really do have a good reason to hate the jews!" - every antisemic person at any point in history.

[garlic-and-vanilla]

“You feel the Emperor's fear as if it were your own. An elder brain enslaved is one thing, an elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything.”

This is a quote from early in the long rest scene you get after discovering that Stelmane has been murdered.

The Emperor is afraid because it knows that if the Absolute breaks free of the stones’ control, it will be the end of everything, everywhere, as everyone knows it.

This isn’t some kind of recent revelation, there’s no reason to believe Emps didn’t know this from the start.

So why didn’t it take the protection of the prism and that nautiloid Gortash put it in command of and get the fuck out of dodge? Why didn’t it just hop planes until it was as far from Toril as possible and start a new life? The Absolute would usher in the Grand Design, sure, but that’s not a process that would happen quickly. At least, not quickly enough to reach a rogue illithid who had parked itself at the opposite end of the universe before said illithid died of old age.

Hell, why not try eating Orpheus too? The Emperor will say it’s too risky, if Tav asks it about doing so in act 2, but that becomes a gamble it’s willing to take by the end of act 3.

So why doesn’t the Emperor just give up its life in Baldur’s Gate, retire to the farthest plane it can find, and find out if making Orpheus its lunch will confer the Power to itself. What are the downsides? If it doesn’t work then all Emps has to do is stay outside the Absolute’s zone of influence until something else eventually kills him. Not ideal, but pretty doable considering it would have a spelljamming nautiloid at its disposal.

But guess what? The Emperor doesn’t do that. It says “this elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything” and it scrapes together a plan to kill the Absolute while it’s still able to be killed.

The Emperor had the means and ability to nope the hell out, and instead it put itself at the mercy of strangers with nothing but the hope that they would help it stop this apocalyptic threat. It spends the events of the game in a cage of its own making, with its life, its freedom, and the fate of Toril and ultimately every other world lying in the player’s hands.

And at the end, it doesn’t want control of the Absolute. You have to pass a persuasion check to get it to do anything but command the Brain to die. It wants that threat dead.

Then people want to try and argue that the Emperor is evil and only wants to manipulate Tav into taking over the world.

Yeah okay buddy. Sure. Guess we’re playing different games.

[little-pondhead]

Rick Astley Is Haunting You

-

Someone bets Tucker he can’t hack into a hero’s patrol playlist and sneak a Rick Roll in there. He does, easily, and finds that said hero has horrible music taste.

So he sets out to hijack every hero’s music playlist he can find and rate their music tastes on a chart, sometimes adding in his own music or joke songs he thinks they’d like. It only gets back to the heroes when Tucker posts a video with his rankings. Up until then, they thought it was another hero or new villain messing with them. Not a civilian??

(Nightwing’s playlist is sixth on the list, and he’s furious about it.)

[ink-blot-thoughts]

Okay just played the Sigewinne quest and hear me out: mildly more evil Sigewinne AU (cause fuck you fight me she is terrifying) where the only doctor willing to teach a melusine was THE Doctor.

Il Dottore gets accosted by the world's cutest psychopath demanding he teaches her and goes "Oh this is gonna be fucking hilarious".

Cue Dottore's dramatic corvid themed ass striding up to commit the horrors tm while a cutie patootie little melusine skips behind him giggling at everything.

People go from "omg did he kidnaps that girl?!?!" To "dear fucking god she's worse" the second she opens her mouth.

The Harbingers have to go through the mortifying ordeal of anytime they mention their terrifying Doctor, people go "Oh Yes I've heard of Dottore", and they sigh and go no... her and take out a picture of a chubby faced girl with bunny ears.

Her world lore is every horrifying experiment of Dottore's has some adorable little sticker attached.

[jalluzas-ferney]

I was scrolling through ao3 to find something from the Ninjago tag to read and I came across a fic literally about “what if Nya didn’t exist” …..and it basically was a what if Nya didn’t exist and wasn’t in the way of Bruise…..

[painted-bees]

I'm tipsy and thinking abt how margie being absolutely shitfaced drunk has consistently served to soothe Raf's paranoia each and every time it has happened.

Because when he gets drunk, he kinda becomes his worst self--the version of himself he has kind of internalized as being his "true" self; very reactive, defensive, spiteful, cynical, self pitying...

Margie drunk, on the other hand... is just... Margie, but more. Drunk margie is just... Margie on blast, lmao, more laughing, louder laughing, more affectionate, more vocal about all the things she likes and loves, more physically affectionate, more ridiculous. It's just her with all her filters and inhibitions removed, and so she's just... all of her traits are dialled to 10 and are largely socially unacceptable from anyone who isn't a lightweight drunk girl. She's a lot more trusting, too. Of everyone. She's usually very trusting, but unuprisingly, drunk margie is irresponsibly trusting.

If Raf's paranoia were to latch onto anything, it might be the notion that her drunken behavior is affirmation that he's not special--that she just acts and feels this way around literally anyone who's nice to her.

But that's not a very meaty bone for his thoughts to gnaw on--because it's always been very obvious that Margie just... loves people. And she loves being loved. She's been very straightforward about this since the very beginning. There were never any illusions about it. Still, his is the bed she returns to sleep in every night. None of these other motherfuckers at the party can say that for themselves.

When she drunkenly utters, "Let's head home," it's only ever to him.