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#and extended the break up era
russo-woso · 2 months
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Biggest fan || Leah Williamson x singer!reader
Request | Masterlist | prompt list
Yes, I’ve based reader on Taylor swift…
Summary Leah being your biggest fan
You were finally coming to the end of your world tour.
The past two years you’d travelled to over 25 countries, playing over 150 shows and performed at sold out stadiums all over the world.
The tour had made history. It became the highest grossing tour ever, surpassing over £1 billion.
You’d been singing your whole life, but you released your first album when you were just 15 years old.
Since that age, you’d released 10 other albums in the space of 13 years.
You’d done world tours before, but this was the biggest one to date.
This tour consisted songs from all of your albums, making each show over three hours long.
You loved going on tour, but hated it at the same time.
You loved it because you got to do what you loved, singing your heart out to people who you loved dearly every night.
But you hated it because you missed the person you loved most of all.
Your girlfriend, Leah.
Singing had brought you many good things, but the greatest thing was by far, Leah.
Leah and you met at a charity event five years ago.
You were sat next to each other and just hit it off.
It had always been hard to find relationships, often being judged for them, or people taking advantage of you, and your social status within the world.
But there was something different about Leah.
Leah treated you normal, she treated you as if you were a normal person, and that’s all you’d ever wanted.
In Leah’s eyes, you were some gorgeous girl called Y/N, not Y/N the world biggest pop star.
From that night, you and Leah kept talking, meeting up for coffee dates before Leah finally asked you to be her girlfriend.
At first you were hesitant, not knowing if Leah knew the downfalls that came with you, but when you told her, she shut you down claiming that she loved you and any downfall wasn’t big enough to not be with you.
In that moment, you knew Leah was the one for you.
But that didn’t prevent the hurt of leaving her for tours.
One of your previous tours gave Leah a vision of what life was like without you by her side, but when you both made an equal effort to talk to one another every day, you knew it was going to be okay.
That tour finished and not long after, Covid hit and you and Leah were stuck with each other for months.
It was exactly what you needed after not being with each other for months.
During Covid, you wrote two albums, with the help of Leah, that you published.
Once Covid had gone, your publicist came to you and asked if you had any plans for a tour.
You explained your thoughts about a tour with all most of your albums in and the tour started its planning shortly after.
That’s what led to the Eras Tour.
A tour that included most of your eras, except one, but there was a reason behind that.
You planned to start in America, doing over 50 shows there before moving internationally.
What you hadn’t expected was to extend the tour and add several more shows due to the demand of tickets.
At first, you were concerned about the pressure that was being put on your relationship, worried that two years was too long for Leah.
Leah was incredible though. Saying that she was going to come and spend as much time with you when she had breaks from matches.
Leah had also done her ACL as well, so she had a lot of free time on her hands, so what not better to do than come and support her girl.
As you were approaching your final shows, you and Leah were talking about your future together and what it held.
You’d hoped that your fans had gotten the message that once the tour was over, you’d be having a well deserved break from the industry.
You were having this break to spend time with your family, and also to create a family.
You and Leah had discussed having a baby once your tour ended as it felt like the right time.
With this decision in mind, you knew your final show was going to be emotional and that’s why you desperately wanted Leah to be there, even though Leah was going to be there no matter what.
What you didn’t know is that Leah had invited the whole of the Arsenal squad, and England squad, along with all her family, wanting to show off how talented you were, although everyone already knew from her non stop bragging.
You didn’t mind though, it was an emotional time and you wanted people you loved to be there with you.
Your final show was at a sold out Wembley, your eighth sold out Wembley on the tour.
The crowd was incredible like always, screaming the lyrics to your songs for three hours straight.
You kept looking over to Leah throughout the show, a proud look never leaving her face.
As you sang your final song of the show, using the iconic lyric change, karma is the girl in the team, you turned to look at the audience, bringing the mic to your mouth as tears welled in your eyes.
“Can you please give a massive round of applause for my backup dancers, my background singers, my band, and everyone who’s been involved in the tour.” You began, your voice shaking as you brought your backup and band team onto the stage once more. “We’ve made so many memories over the past 632 days, but you Wembley, have been by far one of the best of them.”
You looked at Leah who had tears in her eyes.
“There’s also just a few other people I’d like to thank…” you went through a list of them, thanking your family and friends, and the fans, but as you came to the last one, you felt like crying. “The biggest thank you goes to the girl on the team. Le, You’ve been nothing but supportive of me since we met but especially over the course of the past two years. So Thank you, le.”
At that everyone cheered her as you looked at her, tears streaming down her face.
Music started playing again as another lot of confetti was released.
“Goodnight everyone! Oh, and, this has been the Eras tour! I hope you enjoyed it!” You said, as everyone cheered for a final time.
As the stage went down, you were met with a very teary eyed Leah.
She immediately hugged you, pressing kisses all over your face.
“I’m so proud of you.” Leah whispered
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” You told her and more tears escaped your eyes.
“I love you.” Leah said, squeezing you harder.
“I love you too.”
“Now, toast.” Leah announced as she got up from the table.
Leah had treated you to a dinner with all of her teammates and family as a congratulations to the end of the tour.
“I dedicate this toast to my girl. My Y/N has done 153 shows over the past two years and has broken records for it. She’s also happened to break records about the most Grammy’s too but—” Leah began as you buried your head in your hands embarrassed.
“—We get it, Leah. You’re her biggest fan. We get it.” Beth joked as the table erupted in laughter.
“Anyway, to skip all the figures and statistics, I just wanted to say how proud I am of yoy. The tour has brought highs and lows but you’ve managed to get through them and for that, I am immensely proud. So, raise your glasses to the one, the only, Y/N Y/L/N.” Leah finished, hyping you up, as everyone raised their glasses before taking a sip.
Leah sat back down in her seat next to you, your arm wrapping with hers.
“Thank you, baby.” You whispered as the table fell back into light chatter.
“Everything I said is true.”
“I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Leah.” You were about to lean in for a kiss before stopping, Leah whining at the fact your lips didn’t connect. “Wait, even the fact that you’re my biggest fan?”
At that, Leah’s face just turned bright red.
“It’s true, she always plays your songs in the changing rooms, always pointing out that it’s her girlfriend singing.” Alessia told you from your right and you laughed, Leah’s face turning even more red.
“My biggest fan.”
“Can I have my kiss now?” Leah mumbled, and you gently pressed your lips on hers.
“Anything for my biggest fan.”
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moonshynecybin · 10 months
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if you have the time or inclination, can i ask what the deal with motogp/those boys is about? i don’t mean that in a mean way btw, im just curious and i love drama
i will try to be brief (1/4358)
SO! valentino rossi (born 16 February 1979, aquarius. italian.) is one of the most iconic people in motorsport, CERTAINLY in motogp. he's a 9 time world champion, your favorite driver's favorite driver, and is generally credited with revolutionizing the popularity of the sport by: a. being insanely good at motorcycle racing, and b. in general having a lot of fun about it. lethally charming and charismatic. all time active listening face. just a fun and funny dude that everyone pretty much likes and MANY younger riders idolize. VERY good at handling the media and his legions of cult-like fans. sometimes treated more like a god than a person. i was in the store yesterday and saw one of his themed monster energy drinks despite him retiring two years ago. his fun retirement activity is racing BMWs and running his own motogp team/training facility/cult for young italian racers. (this is where cele and bezz and basically every italian rider not named enea bastianini come from!)
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so in 2011ish valentino had won 9 titles, and he decided to leave his current manufacturer and move to italian manufacturer ducati where he generally had a stone-cold terrible time. EXTENDED flop era for a couple years. any time ive watched content that covers this period everyone is so sad. so sad. anyways he GOES BACK to his old manufacturer in 2013 and is much more competitive. kind of just happy to be winning sometimes and be on the podium. 2013 is also where marc comes in. what could go wrong.
marc marquez! (born 17 february 1993, almost exactly 14 years after vale which i'm sure means nothing. also an aquarius. spanish.) childhood sports idols include: dani pedrosa, VALENTINO ROSSI.
marc carved his way up through the feeder championships until casey stoner unexpectedly retired at the end of the 2012 season leaving a seat empty on a VERY good bike for his rookie season. rocked up and was immediately VERY good at winning and very good at being a crazyinsane person on track that made people mad at him lol. hilarious habit of pissing people off via on-track crimes that i really enjoy. motogp riders are already crazy (they do death sport) but marc is famous for taking risks no one else will. basically if he's not winning, he's crashed out or he's maybe crashed YOU out. he wins the championship as a rookie (insane) and the next year's championship as well. heir apparent to the throne. sweet and goofy but is now known as one of the more reserved riders with the press. probably because of all this drama tbh. undisputed GOAT of acting like a slut on camera
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throughout 2013-2014, marc and valentino had a good relationship! marc very clearly idolizes him and is like. bowled over completely with delight every time valentino looks his way. vale likes him! theyre buds! truly an endless well of pictures of vale explaining something with his hands and marc babygirling at him. highly recommend checking out @pgaslys every rosquez podium tag for contextual brain damage. insane times.
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(IT SHOULD BE NOTED: before the 2015 season marc visits valentino at his practice track in italy, where they compete to break the track record and almost kill each other bc they are so pathologically competitive. APPARENTLY, marc showed up with some official mechanics and valentino was a little pissed off because it was supposed to be a like. fun thing. and to marc winning is the most fun! if you dont come to win why come at all! anyways marc breaks the track record and credits that to cooling their relationship a bit. good post about it here.) here they are that day:
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so what could go wrong, right? WELL. valentino has a chance to win his tenth title in 2015. marc is on a flop bike and crashed a bunch so he's not in the championship conversation but vale is leading the standings from the jump, with his main opponent being jorge lorenzo. i think he really wanted that tenth, and dedicated himself to the season in a way he hadnt really ever before (he was a very effortless competitor when he was young. gym-adverse. king).
marc and him start to get into some scraps along the way, notably in argentina (where they made contact and marc crashed out), assen (where they made contact AGAIN and vale won the race), and phillip island (marc won. GREAT race available here for free). phillip island sees vale finishing P4 and jorge lorenzo finishing ahead of him in P3, reducing his championship lead by quite a bit. no real indication of any tension during these races, and they are asked about it!
this is where valentino's delulu era begins! basically, ahead of the next race (🔥🔥SEPANG 2015🔥🔥) in the pre-race press conference, he goes after marc, saying he was deliberately sabotaging valentino in phillip island because marc wanted jorge to win. in valentino's mind. marc wants jorge to win because a. they are both spanish (??) and b. it would mean marc has to win less titles to equal valentino's total. record scratch. freeze frame.
everyone (including marc!) thinks valentino is joking at first bc that is bananascrazyinsane. he was not joking. (it should be noted valentino STILL thinks this lol.) anyways marc is completely blindsided. he thought they were good! yeah they've been chippy on track but that's racing!! truly like. 22 years old and your friend (AND CHILDHOOD IDOL.) is calling you a snake in front of your face with NO prior warning to the entire motogp establishment writ large including your coworkers and REPORTERS. valentino wont even look at him the entire time. the press conference is available here on vimeo. excruciating gifsets of marc's very stiff bewildered PR smile found here.
anyways so. the race. marc is uh. pissed off. he's stuck to valentino like GLUE the entire time and they trade places a bunch of times. now marc is kind of famous for being a little asshole on track anyways, but its not like he's gonna get out of valentino's way and just let him pass after what he said in that press conference so. hand in unlovable hand <3. truly very fun to watch imo even with the sword of damocles hanging over them. marc is fucking on one the entire race and basically refuses to give valentino an inch until vale gets so fed up with his antics that um. well. it certainly looks like he kicked him. vale says he didnt, and that his leg accidently made contact with marc's bike. marcs says. he fucking kicked me. judge for yourself here!
so valentino gets hauled in front of race direction and penalized for the next race (the deciding race for the championship). he has to start from the back of the grid and it kills his chance at a tenth title stone dead. vale places the blame squarely on marc's shoulders and his legions of fans decide marc is public enemy number 1. him and jorge have to get security at the next race because of death threats, someone tries to break into marc's childhood home back in spain, marc's mom throws away all of marc's valentino merchandise from when he was a kid. vale says nothing.
but the thing about marc. is that he loves very hard and chooses his people pretty carefully. didnt really move out of his tiny hometown until he turned 30 and also made his baby brother move in with him kind of guy. so all this is not really enough for him to let go of vale entirely! 2016 is where the pain lives! bc marc is still reaching out and vale himself stays pretty cold for a couple years. they seem to faintly reconcile for a bit but its not anywhere like it was before sepang.
the real nail in the coffin is argentina 2018. another insane race where marc has to start from the back and goes on a rampage through the field and crashes out like three people. i cant remember. this race is also available on youtube for free its very entertaining. every five minutes marc does something insane. vale is one of the people marc crashes out and afterwardshe goes on a big rant about how marc is destroying the sport and is actively dangerous. marc goes to valentino's garage immediately after the race to apologize and vale doesnt even look at him. he gets turned away at the door after vale's best friend/assistant/henchman yells in his face1!!! and thats kind off all she wrote in terms of reconciliation
anyways that's where we are! they are both very much not over it. vale goes on podcasts and is like. in 30 years i will still be mad, im literally never going to get over it it was such a big and unfair thing and i think about it all the time like it was yesterday. and marc (lying) says as time goes by i dont even think about it :) and i care about valentino less and less :))) but yes he hurt me deeply lol. CANNOT stress enough how much this entire thing is now inextricably liked to both of their legacies. the two arguable GOATs of a sport had an epic fleetwood mac-style beatles breakup divorce and everyone wants to talk about it allllll day long including me :)
additional context! really recommend checking out marc's little docuseries he put out this year about his recent struggles with injury. he is so not right in the head and it goes over the valentino drama in ep3. theres also hitting the apex (2015) which goes over the 2013 season (marc's rookie season) and is a really good introduction to all the major players at the time. its like less than 2 hrs long so its not too much of a commitment
also recommend following scholars @babynflames, @its-always-silly-season, @baking-soda, and @f1vegas as well as many others im forgetting rn bc its 2am!
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usnatarchives · 7 months
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Katherine Johnson: The Mathematician Who Launched Astronauts into Space and Women into STEM 🚀👩‍🚀
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In the vast expanse of the cosmos, where men first dreamed of reaching the stars, Katherine Johnson calculated the path that would get them there. This story isn't just about trajectories and orbits; it's about a woman whose brilliance in mathematics helped break the barriers of space and gender.
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Johnson's journey began in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia, where her curiosity and intelligence shone from an early age. Despite encountering segregation and sexism, she charted a course that would lead her to NASA, where her skills became indispensable to the success of the U.S. space program. Her calculations were critical to the success of the Mercury missions, including John Glenn's pioneering orbital flight, for which he specifically requested Johnson verify the computer's numbers. "If she says they're good," Glenn said, "then I'm ready to go."
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But Johnson's contributions went beyond Mercury. She also played a role in the Apollo missions, including the first lunar landing, and her work on orbital mechanics laid the groundwork for the Space Shuttle program and plans for a Mars mission.
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Her legacy is a beacon for women and people of color in STEM, symbolizing the power of intelligence and perseverance to overcome societal constraints. Johnson's story teaches us that the path to the stars is paved with determination, hard work, and an unwavering belief in one's own abilities.
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Katherine Johnson's calculations helped lead humanity to the moon, but her impact extends far beyond the numbers. She charted a course for future generations of women in STEM, proving that the sky is not the limit—it's just the beginning. As we look up at the stars, we remember her legacy, not just as a mathematician, but as a trailblazer who launched us into a new era of exploration and equality.
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edenesth · 9 months
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The Way to His Heart [4]
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Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader
AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)
Word Count: 3.1k
Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.
Part 3 | Fic Masterlist | Part 5
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"Mistress, please allow me to help you back to your quarters." Eunsook pleaded, once again attempting to gently pull you up from the floor. But you shook your head weakly, keeping your forehead stubbornly glued to the ground.
Jongho sighed, stepping in to help, "Miss Jang, it's the general's orders. We've been tasked with taking you back to your room. If you don't cooperate, we might be in trouble."
To the relief of both employees, that seemed to work. They quickly moved to assist your limp and defeated form, with your tear-stained face and the bruise forming on your forehead breaking their hearts. Without wasting another minute, they moved you onto the assistant's back before rushing back to The Cold Palace.
You were already unconscious when they gently laid you on your bed, the toll of your crying apparent. Eunsook sighed, pulling the blankets over your petite frame and tucking you in. She then moved to dab your wet cheeks lightly with the sleeve of her uniform.
Observing you, Jongho frowned, "She feels so light; that doesn't seem normal. It's as if she barely weighs anything. Just what in the world was her life like in the Jang estate?"
The head maid gestured for him to keep quiet, putting a finger to her lips and shaking her head in warning. She didn't want to risk waking you up or, worse, letting you hear them talk about you as if you weren't there right in front of them.
Outside your room, the two took a moment to process the events of the day. It became apparent to them that you were just as much a pawn in your father's game as their master. It was also clear that your sudden presence was set to shake the very foundation of everything they had ever known in the general's estate.
"Let's just... take a break for the night and see what happens tomorrow." Eunsook mumbled, massaging her temples to alleviate the approaching headache.
Jongho agreed, "At least we've learned that our master isn't completely heartless." They exchanged knowing smiles before retiring to their respective quarters for the night.
Unbeknownst to everyone in the estate, Seonghwa stayed awake until he was sure that his assistant and head maid had carried out their assigned task. Laying in his bed, he forced himself to sleep, but the haunting image of you sobbing and kneeling on the ground plagued his thoughts incessantly.
He tells himself that perhaps he should have begun eating a bit first during dinner; that would've allowed you to have more energy during the extended hours of kneeling. Your reaction to the food lingers in his thoughts. In retrospect, he acknowledges that instructing the servants to discard all the food while you were hungry might have been a bit much; he realises that now.
Tomorrow, I'll allow her breakfast.
Tossing and turning throughout the night, the general found no reprieve until the early hours of the day. Even when he did manage to drift off to sleep, his dreams were filled with recurring scenes of the heart-wrenching dinner. His guilt and remorse persisted even in his unconscious state.
As the morning arrived, the voice of the head maid echoed from the entrance of your room, waking you from your sleep, "Good morning, mistress! May we please enter? We will be fixing you a bath and helping you get dressed for the day."
"N-no! I don't need help getting ready!"
You gasped, a sense of panic seizing you as you tried to move towards the mirror to inspect your reflection. The prospect of them assisting you with bathing and dressing meant they would inevitably see the bruises and scars littered across your body. The risk of being ousted on your second day loomed over you, and that was something you couldn't allow.
Your legs betrayed you and gave out, succumbing to weakness due to prolonged hunger. You crawled the remaining distance to the worn-out mirror in your room, suppressing a sob as you covered your mouth upon seeing your bare, unadorned self. The tears from the previous night had washed away your makeup, unveiling the stark reality of your appearance.
"Mistress, please. We've brought a new set of clothes for you, along with the freshest rose petals for your bath. It will be relaxing and enjoyable, we assure you!"
The kindness in Eunsook's voice intensified your emotional turmoil. As you stared at your hideous reflection, you realised you didn't deserve such luxury. You weren't the beautiful and elegant first daughter promised to Seonghwa; you felt like a fraud. How naive could you have been to believe you stood a chance of becoming the wife of the renowned General Park?
You weren't good enough; you'll never be.
"No, I don't want anything! J-just leave me alone, please..." You cried, pulling your knees into your chest and hugging them close. Despite the continuous persuasion from the elderly woman, you ignored her and remained curled up in the corner.
"Mistress... please," Eunsook gave up with a sigh, shaking her head at the servants behind her, "Take it away for now." They obeyed and dispersed with the clothes and bath supplies they had prepared. She knew there was nothing she could do if you refused to grant her permission to enter.
As the footsteps of the departing servants faded away, you released a sigh of relief. Your gaze remained fixed on the marks on your skin, cruel reminders of the abuse inflicted by your father, scars that seemed destined never to fade. So long as you have these on your body, you will never know what happiness is.
A bitter, humourless chuckle escaped your lips as you contemplated the fading hope for happiness. The general's response to your heartfelt words served as undeniable proof that, no matter how sincere your efforts, he would never accept you. The burden of the Jang surname seemed to ensure that you would never be given a fair chance, regardless of how hard you try.
While you wallowed in self-pity, Seonghwa was on the opposite side of the estate, reluctantly getting dressed for the day. His sleep had been far from restful, leaving him in a sour mood.
"So... how is she doing?" He asked in a detached tone, staring out of his window to avoid meeting his assistant's eyes.
Jongho arched an eyebrow at the question, suppressing a knowing smile as he observed his master's attempt to maintain a nonchalant demeanour, "Are you referring to Miss Jang, sir?"
The general clicked his tongue in irritation, "Who else would I be asking about?"
His aide nodded, "Right, how silly of me. Well, it seemed like she was sleeping quite well when we returned her to her quarters. I haven't checked on her since then, but Eunsook has organised a group of servants to assist her with a bath and preparations for the day."
Seonghwa hummed in approval, doing his best to mask any sense of satisfaction, "Very well. She better be punctual for breakfast then, we shall see how she plans to prove her innocence."
Despite his insistence on you being suspicious, Jongho could discern that there was no malice in his master's words. Perhaps there was hope that things could work out between the two of you after all. It seemed like the general was already letting his guard down, even if only slightly; the assistant could see it.
Or not.
"Where the hell is she?"
Seonghwa frowned, growing impatient as he had been waiting for some time, and you were nowhere to be seen in the dining hall.
Breakfast had already been served, and he even had the servants prepare slightly more than usual, anticipating your need for extra food since you hadn't eaten dinner the previous night.
Just as he asked the question, Jongho pointed at the head maid rushing towards the dining hall, strangely without you in sight, "There, Eunsook's coming."
The elderly woman bowed upon reaching the dining hall, catching her breath before addressing the general, "Good morning, master."
He waved off the greeting, "What's going on? Where's Miss Jang? Were you not getting her ready?"
She appeared to hesitate in her response, stammering, "W-well, I was trying to, but—"
"But what?" Seonghwa pressed, annoyance evident in his tone. Sensing her master's foul mood, Eunsook knew she had no choice but to tell the truth.
Jongho nodded encouragingly at his colleague, not wanting her to get in trouble. The head maid lowered her head in defeat, "I arranged for her bath and everything first thing in the morning, and we've been stuck outside her quarters for nearly an hour. Master, she refuses to let us in. It seems she doesn't wish to be bathed or changed."
The general and his assistant found themselves baffled by the revelation. Your new husband struggled to comprehend why anyone would be foolish enough to refuse a pleasant bath and a fresh change of clothes. But he was becoming less surprised after witnessing your odd behaviour the day before. By now, he had accepted the fact that you were far from normal.
Letting out a heavy sigh, he pressed a hand against his head, "Just... if she doesn't want to be bathed that badly, leave it. Just tell her to come out and eat," He muttered, recalling your longing gaze fixed on the dishes during dinner, "Go, get her now."
"Yes, master." Eunsook bowed before heading back to you. She hoped that this time, you would finally show yourself. Her concern grew as she remembered hearing the anguish in your voice when you asked to be left alone just earlier.
To be sure, she checked with the nearby servants if you had called for anyone or even emerged from your room while she was away, only to sigh in disappointment when they shook their heads.
She raised her hand to knock gently, "Mistress, I've come to inform you that breakfast is ready. The master is waiting for you. He wants you to know it's alright if you prefer not to be bathed or changed, but please, come and eat."
Instead of providing comfort, that only heightened your anxiety. Was the general summoning you to further interrogate you? It seemed likely. If he were to see you in this state, he might resort to beating you to death in an instant. Surely, being wedded to someone like you would be an insult to the great General Park.
As appealing as the idea of breakfast was, you feared you might not get to eat, similar to the previous night. Especially not with your current appearance. You winced, feeling the ache in your stomach from going without food for so long.
Perhaps this is how you'll meet your end.
"Mistress, wouldn't you like to have some breakfast?" Eunsook made another attempt, her concern deepening as she noticed your silhouette huddled in pain in a corner.
You shook your head, holding onto your stomach, "No... I-I don't want anything! Just... just go away, please..."
Seonghwa's impatience reached new heights as he waited, and it only intensified when he saw the head maid returning once again, without you by her side. He narrowed his eyes, feeling stupid for trying to be considerate towards you this morning. Here you were, revealing your true colours by being an ungrateful brat already.
His anger finally erupted when the elderly woman bowed deeply with a regretful grimace, "I'm sorry, master. Miss Jang refuses to leave her room."
The general slammed his fists against the table, scaring both Jongho and Eunsook as he pushed himself off his seat, seething, "That's it. If it's my attention she wants, then she's about to get it."
In a panic, the two employees chased after their furious master, making pitiful attempts to calm him down, "Master, please, perhaps she is still emotionally recovering from what happened last night!" But no amount of words could extinguish the fire in Seonghwa's eyes as he stormed towards The Cold Palace.
Truth be told, the assistant and head maid had never seen the general so worked up over any of his fiancées before. In fact, he barely paid them any attention, and they would all flee the estate in less than a day. Had it been any other woman, he probably wouldn't have cared if she came to breakfast or not; he probably wouldn't even bat an eyelash if she died in her room.
But he was oddly affected by your absence.
"Get out of my goddamned way!" He roared, pushing through the servants working around the garden paths that led to your quarters. They scrambled to their knees, bowing their heads low to avoid angering him further.
Jongho and Eunsook shot apologetic looks as they hurried past the poor servants who were just trying to do their jobs. But they had no time to worry about their colleagues when they saw Seonghwa closing in on your room. They scurried over to hold him back, trying to prevent him from scaring you any more than he already had.
"Master, please—"
Before they could intervene, the general forcefully slammed the flimsy doors of your room open, causing one of them to break off its hinges. Your cowering form was immediately revealed, but your new husband was too furious to show any sympathy.
"Are you angry because I didn't give you the wedding night you desired? If you want it that badly, I'll give it to you right now." Without allowing you to respond, he yanked your arms away from your body and tore the outer layer of your hanbok open, exposing your innerwear and shoulders completely.
"N-no, please!"
In just a split second, all of his fury vanished.
The sight of the numerous marks covering your skin, along with the newly revealed ones on your face, left Seonghwa frozen in place. He couldn't move as he observed the bruises and scars scattered all over you, and these were only the ones visible. He dreaded to think about what might be hidden beneath the rest of your body.
What the actual f—
Having tortured more than enough prisoners as part of his job, he was able to distinguish between old and fresh wounds. Judging from all the ones on you, he was repulsed to realise that you had a bit of everything – your injuries ranged from years to a few months old. This meant that you had been enduring abuse for a really long time.
A series of horrified gasps escaped Jongho and Eunsook as soon as they entered the room and witnessed the condition of your skin. You let out a heart-wrenching sob, making a feeble attempt to cover yourself again, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." You whimpered, despite being violated.
It's over. My life... is over.
Feeling lightheaded from all the crying and prolonged starvation, your vision darkened, your eyes gradually fluttered shut, and you slumped forward. The general acted swiftly, catching you and, for once, displaying gentleness as he nestled your head into the crook of his neck, holding your fragile form close.
"Hand me the blanket." He instructed. The head maid hurried over with the fabric, witnessing her master wrapping you in it.
Rising with you in his arms, he moved toward his private quarters with a newfound determination, "Jongho, go summon Physician Jung." The assistant bowed and hastily departed to fulfil his orders.
Entering his room, he laid you on his bed and carefully covered you with the sheets. Examining you more closely now, he became aware of your true frailty. Carrying you earlier, he noticed how remarkably light you were, like a feather. He clenched his fists in rage as he took in the horrendous marks that marred your skin. The new bruise forming on your forehead from the night before only made him feel worse.
Letting out a sigh, he tenderly wiped away the tears staining your cheeks, "What in the world happened to you? Who did this to you? Who dare lay their hands on you, hm?" He whispered, his heart tightening with more guilt than the previous night.
Eunsook stood in the corner, witnessing the scene unfold before her eyes with mixed emotions. While she was pleased to finally see her master display genuine care and affection towards you, it saddened her to realise the extent of the hardships you had to go through to evoke this response from him.
At the same time, her heart ached even more at the sight of the visible evidence of what you had been trying to conceal from everyone. It now made sense why you resisted a bath; you must have been terrified of anyone seeing the marks on your body. The thought of the horrors you endured in the Jang estate sent a shudder down her spine.
"Sir, Physician Jung has arrived," Jongho announced at the entrance, awaiting permission to enter. Seonghwa nodded tersely, "Let him in." The general rose from his seat to greet the physician, a familiar face who had become somewhat of a family doctor.
"Good afternoon, General Park. Are you feeling unwell—" The physician's words halted as soon as his eyes landed on the frail figure lying on the bed.
"It's not me this time, Yunho. It's... my wife."
« Preview of Part 5 »
"Jongho," The general called out softly, his eyes staying fixed on your unconscious form. Despite the softness in his tone, he was anything but calm on the inside. His aide stepped forward, "Sir?"
Finally shifting his gaze from you, he turned to his assistant, dead serious, "I'm going to need you to dig deeper this time. Hire a private investigator if necessary. Find someone willing to infiltrate the minister's estate and get someone to talk. Pay them as much as they need. Just find out what the hell happened while she was in there."
Deep down, he had a gut feeling about who might be responsible for all this, but he needed to know what exactly was done to you and why. He needed confirmation, and most importantly, evidence.
"General Park, I eagerly anticipate our forthcoming union. I assure you, my eldest is a gem; you'll come to adore her."
Recalling the smugness in Minister Jang's tone as he uttered those words, everything began to click. The puzzle pieces were coming together. The narrative of you being an accomplice for whatever your father had planned against him was finally being discarded; it was clear to him now that you were as much a victim as he was, except you'd had it much worse.
"Leave it to me, sir. I'll do everything to find out what happened to Miss Jang." The assistant said with determination, bowing.
Before he could leave, Seonghwa added, "Mistress. It's mistress to you all now. From today onwards, she's the official wife of General Park. I don't want to hear anyone calling her by that ridiculous surname ever again, understand?"
Jongho and Eunsook couldn't hide their smiles as they bowed rather enthusiastically, "Yes, master!"
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Umm, surprise? HAHA I know I said I was sick, and I still am, but I'm feeling slightly better and gosh, not even the cold can keep me away from working on this! All your kind replies and messages got me so hyped, I had to finish this asap🤭
As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3
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All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.
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captainkirkk · 14 days
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✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩
All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes. Please look at tags and warnings on ao3 before reading.
The Nine Worlds series (Hands of the Emperor)
nothing less than the world by ariex09
At least there wasn’t an audience for the look Ludvic turned on Kip and the too neutral way he said, “Tor?”
Kip could feel himself flushing - in Astandalas this was the kind of thing that had lost him jobs before - but he had the excuse of, first of all, amnesia, and second of all, “He didn’t give me any other name!” Kip hissed. “He deflected me off the topic twice!”
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AU where the landslide at the Liauu happens several years earlier, and the younger Kip has a rather different experience of the future.
diving for a flame pearl by ariex09
It took me an appalling three hours and thirteen minutes to even realize that Kip was gone.
Ah, but that was too charitable. Once we had a timeline together, we discovered that Franzel had seen Kip last, turning in for bed at twelve minutes before midnight, and it was not until Shoänie went to wake him at dawn that anyone knew he was anything but asleep in bed. This meant that by the time the knock on my study door came, shortly past the third hour of the morning, Kip could already have been missing for more than nine hours.
-
In which Cliopher goes missing midway through The Hands of the Emperor. Fortunately, he has friends and family willing to do whatever it takes to bring him home.
A nap at the feet of the sun by SunInGlory
Prompt: Cliopher somehow falls asleep on HR’s robe, and rather than wake him, HR has one of the guards cut that part of the robe off of him. Just looking for something soft and sweet here, but of course go in whichever direction you’d like. Bonus points if Petty Treasons era.
---
Cliopher decides to take a nap. Okay, perhaps decides is too strong of a word.
Stranger Things
Robin's Guide to the Care and Feeding of Your Newly Adopted Former Mean Girl by formosus_iniquis
She extends a hand, ignoring the laugh it gets her, “Welcome to Hawkins, I’m Robin, occasional Dustin babysitter.”
The girl’s smile pulls lopsided at her mouth, kissed with a bit of irony and undeniably charmed. “It’s nice to meet you Robin,” her voice is soft, and a little unsure. Wavering like Becky Simpson’s tone deaf oboe playing, unsure of what pitch and timbre to land on. “I’m Stephanie Henderson, Dustin’s cousin.”
The bit crumbles immediately between Robin’s fingers.
“Stephanie? You went with Stephanie? Are you kidding? We workshopped so many names!”
Marvel
Three Kinds of Learning by luchia
Erik intends to recruit Raven's supposedly amazing, all-powerful older brother. Instead, he finds himself dealing with Charles Xavier, a weak, tweed-addled professor who seems to think powers don't matter nearly as much as personality. Erik's misconceptions are blown apart when Raven goes missing.
SVSSS
In Durance Veil by Mikkeneko (+ podfic)
Right, the villain's beautiful daughter, who had caught a glimpse of the Protagonist from afar and, naturally, fell madly in love at first sight. She'd used her knowledge of her father's lair to sneak into the dungeon where Luo Binghe was being held and eventually proved the key to his escape, betraying her father for love. "So, you want to try to find some random girl who's willing to sneak in past the guards to Luo Binghe's prison and..."
"What random girl could we possibly trust? I'll do it myself!"
"You know what," Shang Qinghua said. "Somehow I feel like I should have expected this."
---
Shen Qingqiu self-detonated at Hua Yue City, but he didn't die. Instead, he wakes up to a world where Cang Qiong is victorious and Luo Binghe has been imprisoned beneath the mountain. What's a poor transmigrator to do? He has to find a way to free the Protagonist before he breaks out and razes the Sect to the ground! Clearly, the best way to do this is to pretend to be one of Luo Binghe's future wives.
Clearly.
Harry Potter
A Place That Fits by BitchesLoveAngstImBitches
Harry had been prepared to save Sirius’ life, no matter what the cost. Harry put himself in danger, and Sirius had come running, and it was the last thing he ever did.
And then it turned out Harry’s life wasn’t even worth saving: Neither can live while the other survives.
At the rate of Voldemort’s rising power, Harry would be lucky to survive the year.
Sirius had died trying to help Harry. He’d died for nothing.
-
Harry is struggling in the aftermath of the Ministry battle to come to terms with Sirius' death. His isolation and mistreatment at Privet Drive only make things worse. Remus Lupin checks on him in Surrey, but with both of them grieving, his assumptions about Harry might only hurt him more.
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blossom-hwa · 3 months
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melody of the heart [1] | k.th
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pairing: Taehyun x fem!reader genre:  fluff, a pinch of angst, regency era!au, nobility!au warnings: period typical misogyny word count: 17.8k notes: — this is for all the bridgerton girlies who have been going insane just like me <3 highly inspired by francesca/john's burgeoning romance from the first half, so hope you all enjoy! — some of the dialogue has been lifted from the show—I do not claim any credit for it. — this takes place in the same universe as my duke!yeonjun story, if you'll have me :) feel free to check that out as well! When your father calls you home from the continent to join the London season, for the first time in your life, you nearly throw a fit. You are not just the daughter of a viscount—you’ve made a name for yourself in England and abroad with your prodigious talent at the piano, having since childhood performed for royal courts far and wide. You have traveled far and beyond most other ladies of your rank, and to have your career halted all for the sake of marriage to a man who will likely force you to quit your craft is unthinkable. But all your life you have lived without raising a hand to your father, and so when the letter comes, you return home for the season, hoping and praying to make it through without stirring the waters.  Enter Taehyun Kang, Earl of Addiston—recently titled, in search of a wife, and as tired of the season already as you are. During a chance meeting at the season’s third ball you grow to know each other, and as time passes you grow to like each other, a mutual respect forming when you learn the depths of one another’s passions in the arts. In Taehyun you find a respite from the men who would clip your wings for the sake of finding a perfect wife. In you Taehyun finds a kindred spirit who would respect him for himself, and not the lands in his name. Together you navigate the grueling social activities of the London matchmaking project as acquaintances, then as friends, and maybe, just maybe— As lovers, too.  Part 1 >> Part 2
Series Masterlist | TXT Masterlist
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As the white double doors begin creaking open, only one thought rings clear in the mess of your mind. 
I cannot be the diamond. 
Cannot. Will not. Your father wishes it, as does your governess and the entire unfamiliar extended family crowding your home for the season, but you can’t. Not least because you can’t handle the attention—just the idea of being presented to the queen makes you want the earth to swallow you whole—but also because the longer you can delay finding a husband, the longer you might still find a shred of freedom lingering on your fingertips. 
It's not fair. Late at night you lie in bed, staring at the dark ceiling as angry tears prick the corners of your eyes. Why is it that men should have the freedom to do as they wish, but women must be pushed into the confines of the household, meant to marry up just to add or promote a title for the family name? All you ever wanted to do was play the piano, and even though your father only saw your life’s passion as a way to make money, at least you could do it. You were good at it, too—you’ve played for the royal houses of Europe, met queens and kings and nobles of so many courts, and while you never quite loved being the spectacle of a child prodigy that your family painted you as, at least you were allowed to play. 
But now your father, who rarely contacted you since your mother died five years ago, suddenly breaks his frosty silence to demand that you come home, because the royal checks you’ve been receiving have now begun to dwindle and the only purpose you can now fulfill for your family is to become some rich gentleman’s meek wife. And to make matters worse, you won’t see a penny of the money you made yourself. It’s going to your dowry.
It won’t even be yours. 
What is most upsetting is that he’s not even entirely wrong. Not about the dowry—you’re still smarting over your hard-earned money being turned over to some nameless, faceless gentleman of the ton—but about your musical escapades on the continent. People were eager to watch a child prodigy perform. They cooed and smiled over you like the zoo attraction you were. But as you grew older, you also noticed the invitations dwindling, the interested courts growing smaller, the payments decreasing. All because you were a woman nearing marriageable age, and to be such a prodigy was no longer suitable for your gender. 
For all your usual mild-mannered shyness, this knowledge makes you want to break dishes against the wall. 
But since you’ve returned to England, you’ve kept your mouth shut as you are wont to do. You’re not the type to scream and rage when things don’t go your way. Silence comes more naturally to your lips than shouting and you find yourself nodding quietly to your father’s demands more often than not. Still, though, you can have this. You can have the fact that you will not be the diamond. 
You were worried about it at first. Your name is not unknown by the people of the ton and judging by what little you’ve heard of Lady Whistledown’s papers, your return has stirred some gossip around town. Enough gossip that people speculated the queen might crown you her diamond on the sole basis of your celebrity—and as self-centered as it is, you were anxious about that. But it turned out you actually didn’t have to worry, because as it turned out, you are terrible at being a debutante.
Everything about it hurts. The feathers on your head, the slim, constricting dress, the jewelry choking your neck and wrists and the pale, slippery gloves that slide against your fingers—you certainly don’t wear gloves when you play the piano. The headdress only accentuates your terrible balance and when your governess had you practice your walk for the first time, you’d tripped every other time you went down the hallway.
Which was not ideal, not for you or for your family. Because even though you don’t want to be the queen’s diamond, you also don’t want to be the one girl to trip on her face in front of dozens of people and the queen herself. Only instead of motivating you to be better, the thought of tripping kept making you more and more anxious to the point that you felt like you’d throw up each time you saw your debutante gown.
“Why don’t you treat it like a performance?” your governess had finally suggested, wringing her hands at your latest miserable attempt to walk down the hallway with those godawful feathers on your head. “As though you were to play for the queen.”
The thing is, you have performed for the queen. Not recently, given that you’ve been on the continent for a good many years and only returned a few months ago, but you did perform for her when you were much younger. But that’s—different. Somehow. Your governess and certainly your father might see both situations as the same, but for some reason the idea of parading down an aisle amid dozens of prying eyes, all the while wearing a tuft of white feathers on your head, is terrifying to you in a way that playing the piano for hundreds or more isn’t. 
It doesn’t make sense. Which is why you didn’t bother trying to explain to your governess why exactly her well-meaning advice wouldn’t work, just gave her half a smile and an empty nod as you prepared to try once more. And it had gotten better the more you practiced. Over time you got used to the swaying of the feathers above you, the tiny steps you must take to avoid the headpiece falling to the floor, and all the other millions of tiny things you never thought you’d have to pay attention to. Now, though, as the doors swing fully open, revealing the queen and her entourage at the end of the aisle, framed by every single eye in the room trained on you—
You freeze.
Time stretches and dilates all at once. Opulent ornaments blend with the walls, gold almost seeming to drip onto the white in a way that, to your spiraling mind, looks like blood. The sea of faces before you blurs into a mass and your heart is pounding, your breath coming out in shallow gasps that can’t be doing anything flattering for you in this stupidly tight gown. 
“Y/N.”
Your aunt hisses your name with her unfamiliar voice and suddenly the room comes back into focus. Too much focus. Now everything is too bright and too defined and the gold of the decorations seems to be blinding your eyes. You accidentally lock eyes with the queen at the end of the aisle and all you can feel is the need to throw up. 
But you can’t. 
Slowly, slowly, you take the first step. Then the next. Feathers sway and your head is starting to spin uncomfortably, but you keep your eyes trained on the end of the aisle, something akin to a smile (or at least a grimace) pasted upon your lips. 
You halt after what you think is the right number of steps, just a short distance in front of the queen. The same muscle memory that lets your fingers fly over piano keys helps you into your low curtsy, head dipping just enough to be respectful, not so much that the awful headdress tips over. Wait a moment, your governess’s voice echoes through your muddled mind. Count five seconds, then rise. 
Slowly, you stand, meeting the queen’s appraising eyes once more. Her expression doesn’t change. Relief prickles your chest—maybe she doesn’t recognize you, which means she won’t crown you the diamond for the sole purpose of your fame, or maybe she’s just disappointed and unimpressed—and that relief continues to spread as you stumble out of the room, dimly aware of your aunt following just behind you. 
“Well, you weren’t the diamond,” your aunt sighs. “But at least you didn’t fall. “
Yes, you think fervently as you accept a glass of water from a footman. And thank the heavens on both accounts. 
. . . . .
It’s only the second ball, and Taehyun is already not enjoying the season. 
Ugh. He slips into a darkened corridor and finally allows himself to take a deep breath, the sounds of the party muffled behind the walls. “How did you do this so easily?” he mutters to the phantom of his brother in his mind. 
Taemin’s casual grin smiles back at him from behind his mind’s eye and despite himself, Taehyun almost laughs. He knows the answer already. Taemin enjoys this—the socializing, the talking, all of it. His brother’s easy grace and pleasant manners are easily employed in the ballroom, where he can spread charm at will and revel in the attention he receives in reciprocation. It’s not that Taehyun can’t find his way around a conversation or take an easy turn around the dance floor. He can. It’s just that he doesn’t enjoy it the way Taemin does.
But even then, Taehyun still doesn’t understand how Taemin navigated the marriage mart so seamlessly. Surely he must have at some point grown fed up with the shiny veneer of the debutante season, the incessant pestering of the mamas when they found out the heir to one of London’s earldoms was newly seeking a wife. None of that seemed to bother Taemin that much, though. Two months he went through it with only the barest complaints, and by the third month he was happily married to a woman of a similar temperament. While they might not have been a love match at first, they were certainly an amicable and good one. 
Meanwhile, it’s been barely two weeks since the season started and Taehyun already wants it to be over.
He’s pushed it off enough, though. For three years he’s been allowed the excuse of first finishing his studies, then having to put the estate’s affairs in order—the news of the inheritance was rather abrupt, after all, and completely unexpected. He’s only related to the Addiston line distantly through his mother, not even his father—which is why he was able to inherit even as a second son—and they’d had no idea of the connection until the solicitor had shown up to their door with the news. But it’s been three years. With the weight of an estate on his unexperienced shoulders, the next logical step, to society, would be to find a capable wife to share the burden. His parents agree. So does his brother. 
And so does Taehyun. He just wishes the process of doing so wasn’t so…performative. So obviously meant for matches of rank instead of people. Taehyun knows that if he hadn’t gotten that chance inheritance, hardly anyone would look twice at him. He might be the son of an earl, but he’s only a second son, and the son of a second wife at that. While he’s certainly not at the bottom of the barrel of potential husbands, without his inheritance, he’d be garnering far fewer glances than he does now. 
Far fewer. 
In another better world, maybe it would be easier to find someone with whom he has a genuine connection without having to wade through all the social climbers in this one. Because that’s what he wants. A connection. Not someone who will simply look at his title and inheritance and pursue those instead of him.
But in this world, that might just be an elusive dream.
Taehyun sighs. It’s worse now that he lives alone and has grown used to his solitude. Sure, he has friends who come to barge in on him at different times of day—Kai and Beomgyu maintain little sense of decorum around him, in contrast to the Duke and Duchess of Hastings who, though good friends of his by now, do not come outside of calling hour without prior notice. They keep away the lonely spells in an estate that still doesn’t quite feel like his. But the silence isn’t unwelcome for a quieter person like he, and it remains a sharp contrast to the gaiety of the ton during the season. 
Which brings him back to here. Now. In some empty corridor of his host’s home, away from the staged smiles and bright lights of the ballroom. Somewhere he certainly shouldn’t be, but as long as he doesn’t get caught, Taehyun has little intention of returning to the fray until he can get his thoughts back in order. The muffled chatter of the party is still too loud here so he continues down the hallway, following the echoes of silence and…
Music?
He halts. Sure enough, now that he’s far enough from the noise of the ballroom, he can hear a soft, sweet melody coming from somewhere ahead of him. It’s haunting, lovely, and as he leans toward the sound he begins to recognize the notes of one of Beethoven’s sonatas. Part of the Tempest sonata, actually. One of the most difficult, and one of Taehyun’s personal favorites. 
Taehyun’s feet begin to move, the spell of the sonata carrying him to the end of the hallway. One of the doors has been opened just a crack and it’s easy to tell that’s where the secret pianist must be playing from, the melodies spinning into the air beyond the sliver of an open door.
Common sense tells him he should walk away. The musician seems to be alone—perhaps tired of the party, just like he—but nonetheless, that can’t spell good fortune for him, especially if they are a woman. Being caught alone with an unmarried debutante would only spell trouble for both of them, more her than he, and for her sake, at least, he can’t ruin her prospects just because he couldn’t turn away from her music. 
But something deeper keeps him rooted in place, breaths quiet and shallow, eyes half shut as he leans toward the door as much as he can without tripping over his feet. He enjoys fairy tales, though he is wont to admit it, loves stories of fantasy and magic, and he can’t help but compare these melodies to the spells he used to read about. For surely the pianist must be weaving a spell into the air, into every accent and crescendo, every passage of the sonata effortlessly magical to his ears. 
Taehyun loves music. He loves it almost as much as he loves literature. He took lessons and can play the piano as well as, if not better than many of his peers, but even he is nothing compared to the musician in that room. Nothing compared to the spell of their fingers dancing across the piano keys. 
Too soon, the music ends. And with its conclusion comes the realization that Taehyun needs to return to the party soon, or his absence will be noted—he’s already spent too much time away, if the two movements of the sonata he’s listened to are anything to go by. 
Taehyun forces himself to step away from the open door, from the lovely melodies and mysterious musician within. He doesn’t turn back even when a new piece begins, though soft notes follow him down the hall, all the way back to the party.
. . . . .
“Lady Taylor. Miss L/N.” The smile in front of you is sparkling in a way that leaves you dizzy. Or maybe that’s just the bright lights overhead. Either way, it is doing nothing to soothe the ache beginning to pulse between your temples. “I do not believe we’ve had the pleasure of being introduced.”
No, you haven’t. You don’t recognize this face or its too-bright smile. “I don’t believe we have,” you return, curving your lips as much as you can. “To what do I owe the pleasure…?”
“Mr. Haynesworth,” he says, angular eyes narrowing into what could be a pleasant expression if you weren’t so tired. “I noticed you were quite a fine dancer, and wanted to ask if you had a spot on your dance card that I could perhaps take.”
Without really meaning to, you glance at your aunt. She looks back, mostly impassive, but gives you a small nod. Yes, allow him. 
Your tongue tastes bitter even as you smile at Mr. Haynesworth. “Yes, I do. In fact, my next dance is free, should you like to dance the quadrille.” 
“An excellent choice,” he replies, and you have to try hard not to roll your eyes as he begins to sign his name on the card. What wouldn’t you give to be at home, in bed, purposely thinking about everything and anything but the season and your daughterly duty to find a husband? Lady Arina Park isn’t here to subtly nudge you in the direction of a music room and as far as you know, none of the Tillings play an instrument, so you can’t even snatch a quarter of an hour alone with your thoughts and music like you did at the last ball. Besides, your aunt would certainly scold you if she noticed you were gone, just like last time. 
It's not like it matters, though, because the orchestra music is fading, which means the next dance is about to begin, and you won’t be getting a chance to take a break. Mr. Haynesworth looks up from your card with a little smile and offers a hand. “Just in time,” he says genially. You do your best to feign enthusiasm as you take it. 
I hate this, you can’t help thinking, watching other couples take to the floor. You like to dance—honestly, you enjoy almost anything that has to do with music—but right here, right now, with all the eyes trying to discern who will win Her Majesty’s seasonal title of diamond of the first water (because of all the girls presented this season she still hasn’t picked one, and you harbor a nasty hope that she never will), it’s too much. The bright lights of the ballroom. The slippery silk of your gloves against your hands. Mr. Haynesworth’s pleasant smile as he asks you questions against the background of the orchestra’s new tune, each of them polite, noncommittal, and as meaningless as the last. 
“How are you finding the party tonight?”
I think the candles are trying to burn right through my eyes into my brain. “Quite lovely indeed.”
“How are you finding London in general? It must be a change from abroad, no?”
Boring. Stifling. Rainy. “It is very different, Mr. Haynesworth, though not unpleasant. I imagine that with time, I will grow used to it too.”
“So you do intend to find a husband this season, if you say you will be here for some time?”
If my father didn’t want me husband hunting, I wouldn’t be here. “Yes, that would be my intention.”
“I hope you will come to enjoy London then, Miss L/N. It is an old city, and it certainly has its charms.”
Of course. “Of course.”
He spins you under his arm and you come to face to face, his nice smile suddenly very close to your eyes. You almost stumble—muscle memory had been leading this dance as you tried to answer his questions through your growing headache, and in the midst of that you’d forgotten this part. “I read Whistledown,” he says, completely oblivious to the brief spike in your heart rate. 
Inwardly, you sigh. Ah, so you’re either going to ask me about piano, or ask me about the fact that the queen still has not chosen her diamond of the season.
“She says you are quite the pianist, Miss L/N.”
…You would have preferred questions about piano over the nonexistent diamond, it’s true, but what exactly are you supposed to say to that? “I have been playing since I was young.”
“A true prodigy, then. I wonder why the queen has not yet chosen a diamond, though there is clearly one right here.” Despite the compliment, his thin eyes suddenly seem too narrow, the planes of his face too sharp as he leans in ever so slightly. “I hear you spent quite some time with other royal courts during your…little tour. How were your travels?”
You nearly pause. Your head still hurts and between the dancing and conversation, your mind is being split onto two different tracks, so it takes you a moment to realize why Mr. Haynesworth’s words offended you.
Little tour.
You do not like how he said the words little tour.
It sounds like how your father talks about your performances abroad. It sounds like when your aunt tells you to stop practicing, it’s time for your French lesson. It sounds like when your cousin sticks her head into the music room and asks you to play more softly since it’s distracting from the conversation downstairs. 
Dismissal. Accidental or intentional, it doesn’t matter. It’s dismissal of you, your talent, your work, your passion.
Maybe you would have preferred questions about the nonexistent diamond instead.
“I enjoyed traveling and meeting new people during my tour, though it would have meant little without the music,” you reply, unable to rein in some of the bite to your words. “Music is my passion, Mr. Haynesworth, and the piano my medium. I’m afraid without either, my life would retain little meaning.” And for the first time that evening, it seems that the higher powers are on your side, because the tune of the quadrille is fading, which means the dance is ending. Keeping your current smile plastered firmly to your face, you sweep into a brief curtsy. “I must see to my aunt, Mr. Haynesworth, and so I take my leave. It was good to meet you.”
Lies, all lies, but it gets you off the dance floor without another word from him. Weaving blindly through the crowd, you follow the paths of fewest people until the chatter of the ballroom is just a faint buzz in your ears and blissful silence fills the air instead. 
A rush of air leaves your lips all at once and you put a hand to your chest, where your heart is beating just a little too uncomfortably fast. You’re outside the house, in the gardens, but in almost full view of the front of the home where carriages are lined up, their footmen at the ready. It would be lovely to just be alone, but in public that cannot be for fear of compromise, so you take solace in what little solitude you have now under the moon and stars.
You close your eyes for a long moment. You hadn’t realized earlier how hot the ballroom felt, but you certainly know it now as cool night air breezes across your face turned up to the sky. The stars twinkle overhead, comforting pinpricks of light so unlike the burning intensity of the candles and chandeliers within, and all at once you’re hit with the overwhelming thought that you absolutely do not want to go back inside. 
“I’m not going to survive this season,” you mutter, then quickly glance around—no one should have heard that, it sounds so whiney and childish. But in the moment it feels so true. And for two terrible seconds, you feel an overwhelming lump in your throat, a tightening in your chest—
No. You will not cry. Not here, not now. You bite back the tears, suddenly feeling so alone even in the solitude you sought. No one is on your side. Not your father, your own flesh and blood. Not the aunt who accompanied you here. Not even your governess, who is sweet and kind but ultimately bows to the whims of your father. Only your mother ever understood your calling to music and she’s dead, five years buried underground, and for all you have healed since that dark time, you still miss her. 
You miss her so, so much. 
One deep, shaky breath. Then another. Slowly, your heart rate calms into something that feels more normal, and you tilt your head back up to the sky, letting the midnight blue wash across your vision like a soft blanket. It comforts you enough that you almost don’t hear the footsteps against the stone path until they’re just a few feet away from you.
“Good evening,” a quiet, unfamiliar voice says. 
Conversation. Exactly what you wanted to avoid in the ballroom. Somehow, though, it doesn’t seem so daunting out here. Maybe it’s the silence. Maybe it’s the sky. Maybe it’s the gentle quality of this man’s quiet voice that makes it seem like he seeks the same solace from the night that you do, and nothing more.
“Good evening,” you reply, not quite looking at him as you dip a small curtsy. “Forgive me. I was only—”
“In need of some quiet?” He turns around and between the dark hair and half smile and large eyes, your breath lodges in your throat. But any nervousness at this man’s handsome face fades away when you see the softness hidden in his expression, the gentle uncertainty caught between his broad shoulders. “I have been in search of it all night.”
For all your previous mood, this man’s small smile makes you want to smile too. And so you let your lips curve slightly, more than you thought you could without forcing it, and as you do they begin to curve more. “It seems we are of the same spirit,” you say, and the night seems to laugh quietly with you both. “Miss Y/N L/N, good sir.”
“Taehyun Kang, Earl of Addiston.” He bows slightly. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”
. . . . .
A comfortable silence has fallen, and Taehyun has little desire to disturb it, but your name keeps rolling around his head, a little too familiar for someone he’s only met today. There’s something about your face, too. He’s certain the two of you have never been introduced—he’s fairly sure he would have remembered your smile, which seems to complement the night sky perfectly—but at the same time…
Someone opens the door to the mansion and a few orchestral notes follow them outside. Orchestra. Music. 
Oh. 
“Might I ask…” he begins slowly. He almost wishes he could take back his words when you turn to him, but he’s already started, so he continues. “You are Miss Y/N L/N, the celebrated pianist?”
You lips part, like you didn’t expect the question. Embarrassment starts to crawl up his cheeks—it would be mortifying if you said no, even more so if you had no idea who he was talking about—but then you nod, surprise still coating your features. “Yes, my lord. I am.”
Oh. Oh. This is—maybe worse than if you’d said no. Because this means Taehyun is in the presence of someone famous, someone with celebrity, someone he admires and respects even though they’ve never met face to face before—
Calm down. “I saw one of your performances a few years ago,” he says, forcing his voice to remain level. You open your mouth to say something but Taehyun barrels on because if he doesn’t say it now he’ll never say it again. “I was in Germany to visit a friend. We went together. I, um—” and this is when he stutters, because of course it is—“I found your performance most impressive. Particularly Beethoven’s Appassionata. Your interpretation…it was perfect to me. There was a delicacy to it that made it uniquely beautiful.” He coughs and prays the night hides the warmth that has crept into his cheeks. “I suppose I just wanted to say that you are a very talented musician, and you must have worked very hard to come so far.” 
You look away, and in that moment Taehyun does fear that he said too much. He might have presumed a level of familiarity you weren’t comfortable with, or maybe you don’t appreciate being complimented in public, or maybe he just said the wrong thing—but then you look back at him, and even with only the moon and stars to light your face, it’s plain to see the smile curving across your lips, pleased and proud and limited only by the shyness and humility of your nature, evident as you give him a small curtsy again. “Thank you very much, my lord,” you say, and if your smile was complemented by the night before, now it sparkles at brightly as any of the stars. “It means…so much to me that you would say such a thing. Truly.”
Taehyun smiles. A little more shyly than he’d like, but no matter. “It is not a difficult thing to say these things,” he replies. “Your performance then was impeccable, as I’m sure it is now.” And now that the connection has been made, a memory from the second ball of the season suddenly returns, of a dark corridor and a beautiful sonata. Were you—? “If I may ask, were you the one playing the piano at the Kims’ ball just a week ago?” 
You blink. “You…heard that?”
All of a sudden Taehyun realizes the implications of his words—that he was at the ball, that he decided to leave to wander the dark corridors, that he heard you playing and not only didn’t hasten away at once but stayed to listen for long enough to make this connection. None of them paint him in the best light, and one of them is far worse than the others, if taken the wrong way. “I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, and if his face wasn’t warm before, it certainly is now. “I happened upon it by accident. I was only trying to find some quiet away from the ball—” 
“Much as you were just now,” you interrupt, and Taehyun almost flushes even more before he sees the small, amused smile on your lips. 
“Yes,” he agrees sheepishly. “I heard music coming from one of the rooms and it was…beautiful. The Tempest is one of my favorite of Beethoven’s works. You played it wonderfully, and I couldn’t help but stay and listen for some time.” He bows his head. “I hope I have not been too forward or made you uncomfortable. If I have, I do apologize.”
“Do not apologize,” you say, a bashful hint returning to your own voice that Taehyun finds very endearing, especially when you duck your head slightly. “Please, my lord. I am only…deeply honored that you hold me in such high regard.”
Taehyun relaxes, his own smile growing wider. “Earning that regard was not difficult,” he says. “Even my friend, who has much less knowledge of music than I do, was fairly blown away, and almost inspired to take piano lessons because of you.”
You laugh. “You must jest, my lord.” 
“I do not,” he replies, laughing as well. “He is not here tonight, but perhaps someday you two will meet, and his praise will be even more effusive than mine.” 
“In that case, I eagerly await that day.” You look at him, a question in your eyes. “Might I ask, my lord—you mentioned that you have some knowledge of music? Are you a musician yourself?”
“Oh, I…dabble.” Taehyun laughs a little. “With the piano. I quite enjoy it, but I am nowhere near as good as you.”
“But you have a musician’s ear and heart,” you say, conviction in your tone, and Taehyun finds himself rooted under the strength of your gaze, under the stars, under the night sky. “You appreciate the art and the work that goes into it, which is more than I can say for most.”
Taehyun opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. “I suppose you are right.”
You duck your head a bit, shoulders suddenly hunching. “I apologize, if I was too forward—”
“Not at all!” he says quickly. “No, not at all. Forgive me, it has simply been a long night and my conversing skills are somewhat frayed at the moment. I appreciate your words, Miss L/N. Very much.”
For a moment, you seem to search his face, like you’re looking for something. Whatever it is, you seem to find it, and when you do, your shoulders thankfully relax. “I was only speaking what I felt to be the truth, my lord. And, for what it is worth…” You pause, your expression somewhat strange before it settles into a genuine smile. “This conversation is one of only a few that I have truly enjoyed tonight.”
He laughs, your quip unexpected but welcome. “It must have been a long night for you too, then?”
“You have no idea.” This time, you two laugh together. “Actually, I’m sure you do. There are only so many times you can be asked the same questions and give the same answers, or hear the same topics and remain sane.” You shake your head. “If the queen plans to choose a diamond this season, I wish she would just hurry up and do so. It seems to be all anyone can talk about nowadays.”
Taehyun raises an eyebrow. “She has not yet chosen one?”
“Apparently not.” You shrug. “My cousins say Lady Whistledown writes about it in every issue. I suppose it is a source of gossip, but…to be quite frank, I do not understand why the queen’s opinion on one woman reigns so supreme in the marriage mart. Should not the couple choose each other based on their own perceived merits, and not solely because the queen approves of one but not the other?” A short pause, and then your shoulders slump. “Though perhaps I only do not understand because I have been away for so long.”
“Well, I quite agree with you,” Taehyun says frankly. “I do agree that the queen’s approval would be a feather in anyone’s cap, but anyone who only sees the title of diamond and nothing else, I believe, would not make a happy marriage, even if the diamond agreed to the match. I don’t believe a title alone is any sort of solid foundation upon which to make a partnership.” 
You look up, meeting his eyes, and a moment of understanding seems to pass between the two of you. A smile that looks much like relief curves your lips. “I agree, my lord,” you say softly. “It is a relief to know that I am not the only one of these opinions.”
Taehyun came outside for fresh air, for a respite from the chaotic buzz of the party inside. He came outside for solitude. But though he found conversation instead, he finds himself feeling better than he perhaps would have, had he immediately gained the silence he sought. Your quiet, frank honesty is as refreshing to Taehyun as the night air itself and he realizes he would love to continue your conversation, if not for—
“Y/N!”
Both of you start at the sudden shout of your name from the mansion doors. An older woman comes striding out, a stranger to Taehyun but evidently more familiar to you. Not altogether welcome, though, it seems—your shoulders tense and immediately your gaze shutters somewhat as the woman draws closer. “Lady Taylor,” you say quietly, turning back to Taehyun with a smile significantly more strained than before. “My aunt, and my chaperone tonight.”
He nods once. “I see.”
“Y/N, I’ve been looking for you for half the night,” Lady Taylor scolds as soon as she is near enough, which does little to endear her to Taehyun after she interrupted his time with you. “Why do you insist on disappearing so?”
“My apologies, Aunt Taylor,” you say. Taehyun doesn’t miss the brief clench of your fingers at your sides. “I went to find some fresh air, and then found myself caught up in conversation with Lord Kang.” You gesture to him. “Lord Kang, please meet my aunt, Lady Taylor, Viscountess of Wentworth.”
Taehyun bows politely as your aunt curtsies. “A pleasure, my lady. I am Lord Kang, Earl of Addiston.”
Her eyes widen ever so slightly at the mention of his title, and he bites back a sigh. So she knows of his estate and inheritance, too. “Charmed, my lord,” is all she says, though, before turning back to you. “Please forgive my interruption. Y/N, you must come back inside. The ball is not yet over, and several gentlemen are still waiting to dance with you.”
You glance down at your dance card, then back up at him, your face twisted in apology. “I must do as my aunt says,” you say quietly. “Though it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lord.”
“And the same to you.” He smiles as easily as he can, and maybe he’s just hoping, but your smile seems to become a little less forced too. “It is getting late and I’m sure your dance card must be full, so I will not keep you further. However…” He inclines his head slightly, respectfully. “Perhaps if we meet again, I hope you will indulge me if I ask you to save a dance for me, so that we might continue our conversation where it left off?”
This time, he’s sure he’s not imagining the softening of your face and the return of some sparkle to your eyes. “I would be honored to, my lord,” you say, curtsying. “Have a good night.”
He bows. “I wish the same to you.”
. . . . .
The last few days since the Tillings’ ball have been dreary and wet, full of gray clouds and rain. Today, though, when you wake, the clouds have cleared to reveal the bright sun set against a shimmering blue sky. When your cousins come bursting into the music room to take you on a walk, you don’t even argue—the afternoon looks beautiful, and even you are itching to go outside. 
“You spend so much time cooped up in that little room,” your oldest cousin scolds when you meet everyone in the entryway, though there’s a smile on her face so you try not to take her words the wrong way. “You need some fresh air.”
You smile back as best as you can. “I appreciate the concern, Lilly, but worry not. I’m as eager to see the sun as you are.”
It is pleasant, feeling the sun on your skin after days of grey skies and intermittent rainfall pattering on your windows as you tried to practice. Truth be told, by yesterday you were feeling restless, too, so you can’t even blame the children of your family for wanting to run around as they do now, leaping happily under the blue sky. 
You stick to the back of the group, quietly watching Lilly and your other cousins try to corral their children under the watchful eye of Aunt Taylor. Jieun looks particularly frazzled as she tries to chase down her youngest and you take pity on her, scooping up the child the next time she runs past and giving her little forehead a small tap that makes her giggle. “Be careful,” you warn gently, handing her to a grateful Jieun. “Don’t get hurt, or your mother will worry, yes?”
It's not just your family. It seems as though the entirety of London has come out to enjoy the wonderful weather. The park is green and bright and almost seems to shimmer under the sun, and laughter and chatter fill the air with faint birdsong. You may enjoy spending your time cooped up in that little room, as your cousin says, but you are glad you came out today for the sun on your skin and the joy in the air.
“You are good with the children,” Lilly says beside your ear. You start—you hadn’t realized she was so close until she spoke. “Won’t it be wonderful when you have children of your own, and they can all play together?”
Please, Lilly. “Maybe.” 
“Sound more excited, will you?” she laughs. “You can’t mean to not have children. Or are you already married to your music?”
Your smile is wavering, but you heave it back up with the teeth-gritting reminder that she doesn’t mean it badly, she doesn’t mean it badly, she doesn’t mean it badly. “I’m not married to my music, insofar as I cannot marry an intangible thing,” you respond as dryly as you can. “I’m not sure even the priests at Gretna Green would agree to perform such a ceremony.”
“You know what I mean,” Lilly says, scooping up one of her children. Both of them seem to eye you in a way that makes you feel defensive. “When will you emerge from your music room, Y/N, to see the rest of the world around you?”
That’s not fair, you want to say. I have emerged from my music room. I just find that I don’t necessarily enjoy what—or who—awaits me outside.
Like the incessant demand that you marry and produce children for an unnamed man who will control you for the rest of your life. 
“I see the world as much as I like to,” is all you say instead, but Lilly has already been distracted by her toddler trying to wiggle out of her arms. You leave her to it, and drift behind everyone once more. 
It’s not that you don’t want to have children. It’s not even that you don’t want to get married. It’s just that you resent the fact that it is your only option. You don’t even think you’d mind marriage and children if you could still live with your music, but the way everyone else talks about it, it’s always one or the other. Give up marriage for the piano. Give up the piano for marriage.
Not that the first option is even a choice. 
You take a deep breath. Breathe in the fresh air, the scent of flowers and grass. The sky doesn’t seem as blue as before, nor does the sunshine feel as welcoming, but it’s still there, and it’s still pleasant enough. Lilly means well, and she doesn’t mean to be dismissive. You’re still unmarried and still not the diamond. The world isn’t ending.
Jieun’s youngest finds her way behind your skirts once more, giggling when you turn around to chase her down. A smile finds its way to your face that isn’t forced because she really is adorable, and her little laughs soften your expression when you swing her up and warn her again not to hurt herself.
“Miss L/N?”
You whirl around. As does the rest of your family. 
“…Lord Kang?”
There he is standing just a few feet away, looking as surprised to see you as you are to see him. “Miss L/N,” he says again, a smile spreading across his face. “I didn’t expect to see you, though I suppose you and your family are here to enjoy the weather as well?”
“Yes, we are.” You smile back, trying not to cringe when the toddler still in your arms tries to grab at your hair. Thankfully, Jieun appears to relieve you of her child in that moment, whispering hurried apologies into your ear as she whisks past. “My family thought it would be good for the children to see the sun.”
“And for you!” Lilly whirls into the conversation with a beatific smile and the outward countenance of nothing but an angel. You grit your teeth as she continues. “My cousin spends far too much time indoors at that piano of hers, she hardly sees the sunlight.”
Lord have mercy. 
“Well, I have heard she is quite accomplished at it,” Lord Kang replies easily, that smile never wavering on his face. “Something has clearly come of all those hours she has dedicated to practicing.” He turns to you with that lovely smile and those dark eyes, and while he was handsome under the night sky, it can’t compare to what he looks like now, under the sun. “It seems good fortune has brought us together before the next ball of the season, Miss L/N. Would you mind if I joined your walk, so that we might continue our conversation from the other night?”
Well. You blink once or twice, casting a glance at your aunt, who seems about as confused as you are. In the absence of her input, you choose to assent. “Of course, my lord. We would be honored.”
And so the walk continues, though Lilly and Jieun continue to shoot you confused and excited glances every so often. You ignore them as you best you can, which isn’t hard when Lord Kang is beside you. 
“It’s good to see you, my lord,” you say. “How have you been since the Tillings’ ball?”
“Well enough, though the rain has been somewhat dragging on my mood over the past few days.” He shrugs. “Such is London, though.”
“It is a bit dreadful to think of, if this is what it’s always like,” you say, only half joking. “More time for me to practice, I suppose, though I must admit I am very happy to see the sun.”
“And to be with your family?”
“…Of course,” you respond quickly, though you’re sure he can see exactly how you feel about the group you’re walking with, judging by his half smile. 
“I understand,” he says quietly. “It is not always easy when one’s kin doesn’t quite appreciate the depths of one’s interests.”
You quirk an eyebrow. “You have experience with it too, my lord?”
“With music, somewhat,” he admits. “But more so reading. My family is well-read, of course, but many of them cannot fathom that I would usually rather be in my library than socializing with the ton.”
“I would agree with your sentiment.” The two of you laugh. “What do you like to read?”
It takes a little prodding, but your question eventually launches Lord Kang into a spiel about classics, about authors old and new, novels and philosophy and literature of times so far in the past that you almost can’t fathom it. Truth be told, you don’t know much about what he speaks of—you enjoy reading, but your books of choice tend to be the popular novels of today, and while you recognize some of the classic titles he mentions you can’t say you particularly enjoyed them. But listening to him talk about them, hearing the passion behind his every word, is captivating in a way that you’d never have thought possible when speaking of Plato and Aristotle. And in the midst of this, he never makes you feel out of place or stupid. He answers each of your questions with enthusiastic verve no matter how basic they are, and by the time his friends are calling for him from the end of the park, you’re both so wrapped in your conversation that you almost don’t hear them. 
“I’m afraid I must go,” Lord Kang apologizes when you finally point out the two men making their way towards you. “I promised I would meet them later.” He suddenly looks a little shy, which is a more endearing expression than you’d have expected on his handsome face. “I hope I did not bore you with my talk. I know this subject is not the most interesting to everyone and I can get…carried away with it.”
“Not at all,” you respond immediately. “Truly, not at all. I love hearing about the interests that others have, and clearly this is a deep one of yours. I enjoyed our conversation immensely.” You draw a short breath. “In truth, it was…very good to speak with someone other than my family today.” Your smile, though not forced, feels considerably smaller than it was before. “I do not have many friends in the ton, as I was abroad for so long. Thank you for taking pity on a poor soul such as I, and speaking to me as one.”
Lord Kang steps forward and takes your hand gently, so gently. When he looks into your eyes it is as though he sees all of your soul and your breath catches at the warmth of his palm against yours. “It was never pity,” he says sincerely. “You are a wonderful person with whom to speak, and if I may presume, the beginnings of a very good friend. I look forward to the next time I may see you.” 
You fight to keep your voice steady against the rush of heat in your cheeks. “And I you, my lord. Have a wonderful evening.”
The setting sun perfectly frames his lovely smile. “Until next time, then.” 
The pressure of his lips against your skin lingers long after he has disappeared, long after you have returned home, and long after you have retired for the night.
. . . . .
Beomgyu pounces the moment they’re all seated at the club. “So who was that?”
Taehyun really should have expected this. Even with that knowledge, though, he still has to roll his eyes. “Who are you talking about?” he can’t resist asking. Beomgyu is annoying. He has to be annoying back, sometimes. 
“The girl you were with. The debutante.” Beomgyu grins, undeterred. “Who is she?”
Taehyun gives up. He’ll never win against Beomgyu. “Miss Y/N L/N,” he says, conceding defeat. “We met at the Tillings’ ball a few days ago.”
Kai’s eyes widen. “The pianist?” 
“That’s the one.” Taehyun grins. “I told her you were almost inspired to take lessons because of her.” Kai groans, and Taehyun’s smile only widens. “She was flattered.”
“And I bet she laughed,” Beomgyu adds. 
“She did.”
Kai just screams into his hands. 
“I don’t believe that you didn’t make a fool out of yourself either,” Beomgyu accuses amidst Kai’s muffled screaming. “You admired her at least as much as he did, probably more for your love of music. How much of an idiot did you look when you realized it was her?”
Taehyun is an honest man, but only to a point. “Not much at all.”
Beomgyu snorts, but that’s when their drinks arrive, so Taehyun thanks the higher powers for intervening before he was forced into revealing the truth of warm cheeks and night air. “And how goes you and your lady friend?” Taehyun asks before Beomgyu can pick up his line of questioning again. “Last I remember, she was threatening to slit your throat with your own letter opener. Have there been any recent developments?”
It’s Kai’s turn to laugh while Beomgyu scowls. “Oh, are there,” Kai snickers. “It’s only the most interesting thing in Whistledown right now, second only to the continued absence of a diamond in the field of this season’s debutantes.”
Taehyun raises an eyebrow. “It’s made it into Whistledown?”
“An entire paragraph on the row they had at the last party in the country, right before the season started.” Kai grins. “I know you aren’t a fan of the gossip papers, Taehyun, but you have to read this one. I’ll send you a copy tomorrow. I can only wonder why Whistledown decided to wait until this issue to write about it, though perhaps such a sensational story needed several weeks to perfect.” 
Beomgyu scowls even harder as Taehyun laughs. “I don’t know why that woman Whistledown can’t mind her own business,” he complains. “It was a private argument.”
“A private argument in the gardens outside the host’s home, loud enough that we heard it from inside,” Taehyun says dryly.
“Yes, well, she’s irritating,” Beomgyu snaps, taking a gulp of his drink like he needs it to clear his memory. “Why do you keep asking me about her? I don’t want to talk about it, she’s infuriating.”
“You sure talk about her a lot for someone who says he doesn’t want to talk about her,” Taehyun smirks. “Also, you’re the one who tried to embarrass me first.”
Beomgyu growls. “It’s just ridiculous that she’s still angry over something from when we were children!”
“I don’t know, Beomgyu.” Taehyun shakes his head, hiding a smile. “I was there, and that was a lot of cake. And it washer birthday.”
“Yes, well, she threw dirt at me after that!”
“It sounds to me like you’re still pretty hung up over something from when you were children, too.” Kai sips at his drink, eyes glittering amusedly over the glass. 
Beomgyu just glares at both of them. 
“Alright, we’ll stop.” Taehyun snickers. “At least until I read the copy that Kai’s going to give me.”
“Read all you want.” Beomgyu rolls your eyes. “It’s one paragraph. And from the look you were giving the L/N girl earlier, that’s not even going to be the most interesting part of the paper to you.”
Taehyun blinks. “What?”
“She’s been in the papers,” Kai says. “She’s famous, remember? Whistledown gave her a whole half paragraph when she returned to town and her father announced her debut.”
Taehyun resists the urge to hit himself over the head. If he’d been in the habit of reading the gossip papers, maybe he wouldn’t have been so damn blindsided when he spoke to you at the Tillings’ ball the first time. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“I always make sense,” Kai sniffs, pointedly ignoring both Taehyun and Beomgyu’s snorts. “But how is she, as a person and as a debutante? I’m quite curious as to the persona behind the world-famous pianist.”
Taehyun opens his mouth, then closes it. Takes a sip of his drink. How exactly should he describe you to people you haven’t even met? You’ve only spoken twice—does he even have the right to say anything? “She’s very sweet,” he eventually says. “A bit shy, I think. It’s interesting—she doesn’t seem to enjoy being in the spotlight, though she clearly enjoys piano and performance. But she’s very humble, and I think she’s a very bright young lady.”
“Not without her own sort of wit and charm, then?” 
Beomgyu’s looking at Taehyun in a way he isn’t quite sure what to make of, but he answers anyway. “Very much so. You would probably enjoy a conversation with her.” He smirks at Beomgyu over his glass. “She’d probably like you, against her better judgment.”
Beomgyu cackles. “Of course she would, I’m a joy to be around.”
“You’re certainly something to be around, though I’m not sure I’d use the word ‘joy,’” Kai intones, taking a sip of his drink. “Is she adjusting to London well? She was abroad for a good many years.”
A snippet of your conversation from earlier comes to Taehyun’s mind. Your admission that after spending so much time away from London, you don’t have many people with whom to have a simple conversation with, just as simple friends. “She seems to be fine,” Taehyun replies slowly. “Though she mentioned it was a bit difficult to make friends after so long abroad.” He can’t imagine how hard the season must be for you, with a family who doesn’t respect your passion and no one to really confide in. For all he teases Kai and Beomgyu, he can’t imagine navigating life without them.
“The Duchess of Hastings was in a similar situation before she married Yeonjun,” Beomgyu says, and he’s giving Taehyun that strange, discerning look that he couldn’t decipher before. “Why don’t you introduce the two? Her Grace also quite enjoys music, I think they would get along quite well.”
“Invite her to the Hastings’ gathering next week,” Kai adds. “Of course ask the duchess first, but I’m sure she’d be happy to extend the invite.”
That’s actually brilliant, and Taehyun is privately put out that he didn’t think of the idea first. The more he thinks of it, the more he’s certain that you and his cousin could be good friends. “Yes, I’ll do that,” he says, half-rising out of his chair. “I’ll write to the duchess as soon as I can.”
“Surely not now?” Kai raises an eyebrow at Taehyun’s half-standing position. “You still have the whole night, there’s no reason to leave your drink unfinished.”
Taehyun flushes and sits back down. Kai’s comment makes complete sense—why was he standing up so urgently, anyway? “Of course,” he says, taking a sip to hide his embarrassment even though it’s definitely not fooling anyone. “By the way, Kai, how are your family affairs going? Surely your uncle still isn’t trying to lay claim to any part of your inheritance.”
It’s an obvious ploy to distract from his own embarrassment but Kai thankfully takes the bait, immediately putting forth an impassioned spiel about his arguments with his uncle’s idiotic solicitor that would put any of Shakespeare’s soliloquies to shame. It’s easy enough to laugh along and commiserate with Kai’s troubles that Taehyun allows his mind to wander a little, to the thought of you and the duchess meeting, to the beautiful music that is sure to follow, to the smile that will hopefully adorn your lips when you meet another woman who appreciates music as much as you. 
“You’re smiling an awful lot, Taehyun,” Beomgyu says, bringing Taehyun’s attention back to the present. He’s smirking a little and so is Kai, but Taehyun for the life of him cannot understand why. “Did you find Kai’s story really that funny?”
“No, I’m sorry.” He sips his drink, gesturing for Kai to continue. “I just got a little lost in thought.”
Kai keeps talking, and Taehyun goes back to listening. In the back of his mind, though, he’s hearing soft melodies in the darkened corridor of a mansion, and seeing the night sky twinkling above. 
. . . . .
Maybe someday receiving callers will no longer make you feel like flying to pieces. 
Today, however, is not that day. 
Four gentlemen callers—one of them Mr. Haynesworth, with whom you almost couldn’t hide your displeasure at seeing. The other three were pleasant enough and mostly inoffensive, but by the time the fourth caller came, you were running out of ways to begin small talk and based on your aunt’s subtle glare in your direction, it had probably started to show. 
It’s somewhat amusing, if not also somewhat depressing, how bad you are at speaking with strangers. You’ve performed for royal courts and houses of nobility for years, but when it comes to carrying a conversation, you can only bumble your way through inane small talk for so long before you run out of the headspace for it. Though privately, you think that’s a little unfair—it seems only right that it would be the caller’s job to ensure the conversation kept going, since they were the one who made the call, so you shouldn’t have to put in all the effort. But based on every glare or sniff or cough your aunt sent in your direction whenever the conversation faltered, that apparently is not the case.
It’s over, though. At least you think it is—it’s nearly five and no one has showed up since the last caller left. And if it isover, that means you have no one to entertain for the rest of the day. Your governess has already promised to bring your dinner to your room, and you plan on locking yourself in your music room for the rest of the night after that.
It’s like a reward.
“The biscuits are almost gone,” Aunt Taylor says, standing up from the settee. “I will have a servant bring more.” She fixes you with a stern stare. “Don’t slouch. It is not quite five, and you may still receive another caller yet.” She then sweeps out of the room, and once she’s gone, you slump into the cushions a little more, ignoring your governess’s fretful eyes. 
As if anyone would come calling now, really. Ten minutes to five, which means hardly enough time to begin a conversation once the initial pleasantries were dished out even if someone arrived right at this second. You sink a little further into the couch. Aunt Taylor won’t be back for another couple of minutes at least. You can take at least that long to be comfortable. 
Sooner than you’d like, footsteps sound in the hall outside. You quickly pull yourself up, smoothing out your dress, and await the renewed presence of your aunt. 
Only it isn’t your aunt. You blink when a footman enters instead, a card held in his hand. “A caller, my lady,” he says, squinting at the card. “Lord Kang, Earl of Addiston.”
What?
Of course, it is then that your aunt decides to sweep back into the room. “Another caller?” she asks sharply as a trailing servant places a refilled plate of biscuits on the table. “Who?”
Thankfully, your governess has recovered from the surprise more quickly than you have. “A Lord Kang, my lady,” she says. “Earl of Addiston.”
Your aunt throws you a sharp glance. Inwardly, you wilt a little—she’ll be sure to interrogate you after this, asking you to recount every last detail of your and the earl’s conversation yesterday in the park even though you already told her everything you could remember last night during dinner—but for now she says nothing as she nods to the footman. “Bring him in, please.”
For some reason, when you stand, your heart begins to race. You force yourself to take slow, deep breaths. It may be Lord Kang, but he called with only five minutes—now less—left on the clock. Surely he can’t have much to say. 
Though, a little voice in the back of your mind says, you’d much rather talk to him than any of the four who came earlier today.
Footsteps sound lightly in the hall, thankfully keeping you from pursuing that train of thought down unsavory paths. But then Lord Kang appears in the doorway, looking as handsome and gentle and polite as he has every time you’ve spoken to him, and it’s all you can do to keep your voice steady as you welcome him to your home. 
“Lord Kang.” You curtsy, your smile widening in a way that comes more easily now than it has all day. “Welcome. I hope you have been well since we last spoke.”
“I have been, and it is a pleasure to see you all again,” he replies, bowing politely. His eyes meet yours and, in the sunlight streaming softly through the window, they almost seem to sparkle. “I apologize for calling so late in the hour, but I had some business I had to attend to before I delivered this to you.” He produces a small envelope from a pocket and extends it to you.
You look at your aunt, who seems equally bemused as you. “If I may ask, my lord, what is this?” you ask, feeling the smooth paper between your fingers. 
“My cousin, the Duchess of Hastings, is hosting a small party next weekend,” he says, either ignoring or not hearing the collective half-gasp in the room at the mention of the duchess. “She and the duke have just come in from the country for the season, and she is holding a gathering for some friends and family. I mentioned that I had met you, and she was quite excited to extend you an invite—she is also an avid enjoyer of music and wonderful pianist, so I am sure you two will get along very well.”
You feel a little lightheaded. Sure, you’ve performed for royalty, but you’ve never been on close terms with any of them. You were very clearly the entertainer and they the entertained, with very little chance to cross that line even if you were of a mind to. But now Lord Kang is offering you the chance to become acquainted to a duchess, just a step below royalty, and who loves music and is a pianist at that—
One corner of the envelope digs into your finger. Just a slight pain, but enough to remind you that this is real and not a dream.
A quick glance at your aunt earns you a subtle but very emphatic nod, so you look back to Lord Kang with a smile wider than it has been all day. “Please tell the duchess that I would be delighted to come,” you say. “Thank you for the invite, my lord. I do look forward to this event.”
“It is my pleasure.” Lord Kang smiles, and you don’t think it’s your imagination when you muse that it might be a little brighter than it was before. It’s certainly not your imagination when you briefly think you might like to look at that smile for a lot longer. But then the clock chimes and the smile falls, replaced by a sheepish expression. “Apologies again for calling so late, my lady.”
You shake your head. “It was no inconvenience at all.”
“Be that as it may, I will not keep you longer than the calling hour lasts,” he says, sweeping a bow. “Good day, Miss L/N, Lady Taylor. I look forward to seeing you again soon.”
. . . . .
“Taehyun!”
Taehyun turns to the sound of his name, not bothering to hide the wide smile spreading across his face when he sees who called for him. “Your Grace,” he greets as his cousin comes closer, her eyes sparkling. “It’s good to see you.”
She waves a hand. “Dispense with the formalities,” she sniffs, and then they both laugh. “How have you been? Oh—remind me before you leave, but my footman will help bring some of the books I need to return to your carriage.”
“That would be wonderful, thank you,” he says sincerely. “I also brought some of my own books to recommend, as well as the ones you asked for. And I’ve been well, though I’ve learned that the season is rather more…daunting, than I would have expected.”
The duchess nods sympathetically. “I don’t honestly believe it’s fun for anyone,” she admits. “Except maybe the dancing. But there are plenty of young ladies this season who would be a good match for anyone, if Whistledown is to be believed. Speaking of.” Her gaze wanders to the entrance. “Is that her? The debutante you asked to invite?”
Taehyun turns around, catching sight of a familiar face, and smiles. “Yes, that is.”
You step into the room with a sort of trepidation that Taehyun sorely understands. In the moments before you see him, you look somewhat lost, your own eyes wide as you take in the whole room. Your expression seems a bit overwhelmed so Taehyun wastes no time in catching your eye, and when you recognize him something like relief seems to pass over your face. Somehow, you two meet in the middle of the fray and for one strange moment Taehyun finds himself almost breathless. “Lady Taylor. Miss L/N,” he greets, pressing a soft kiss to your gloved hand. “I’m so glad you were able to come. Please allow me to introduce you to Her Grace, the Duchess of Hastings.”
Lady Taylor curtsies, as do you. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Grace,” she says, her strong voice carrying just a hint of awe. “I am Lady Taylor, Viscountess of Wentworth, and this is my niece, Y/N L/N, daughter of the Viscount L/N.”
“It is wonderful to meet you both,” his cousin says, beaming widely. “And especially an honor to have met you, Miss L/N. You’ve caused quite a stir in town with your own fame here and abroad.”
Surprise flutters across your expression, replaced with a sort of embarrassed pride that Taehyun finds very endearing. “Your words do honor me, Your Grace,” you say, voice soft and shy, something of a far cry from the animation you displayed during the Tillings’ ball, or during your brief promenade in the park. You don’t look frightened, though, just somewhat in awe, so Taehyun brushes off his initial concern. “Particularly since the earl has mentioned that you are a lover of music, too. You give me high praise.”
Taehyun watches his cousin laugh and blush a little, and happiness bursts in a small bubble in his chest. She’s settled beautifully into her role as duchess and into her life with Yeonjun, but she’s still looking to widen her own circle of friends after spending so long abroad. The two of you begin to converse, your own shy face animating the more you speak, and with a smile and quick excuse, Taehyun ducks out of the conversation, heading toward the other end of the room. 
Yeonjun catches his eye first. “Taehyun!” he calls, beaming wide. 
“Your Grace,” Taehyun replies, settling into the circle that includes the duke, Beomgyu, Soobin, and Kai. “How have you all been?” 
Yeonjun pulls an exaggerated frown. “Hasn’t my wife told you to dispense with the pleasantries when we are among friends?” he asks, and Taehyun laughs because yes, she did exactly that. “Come, have a drink.”
Taehyun accepts the proffered glass and takes a sip. “You really pulled out all the stops for this,” he says approvingly, swirling the amber liquid inside. 
“What can I say?” Yeonjun shrugs airily. “My wife organized this. The least I could do is help make the event a success.”
“With expensive alcohol,” Soobin deadpans. 
“Exactly.”
Next to Taehyun, Beomgyu coughs very strangely. It almost sounds like he’s saying something like head over heels, actually. Then he yelps and Taehyun looks down just quickly enough to see Soobin’s foot pressing hard onto Beomgyu’s. 
Kai and Taehyun exchange glances. Taehyun has to look away to avoid bursting into laughter. 
“Don’t worry, Beomgyu.” Yeonjun beams beatifically over his own glass of expensive alcohol, sharp eyes glinting at his cousin. “Someday you’ll find a lady who will send you into fits of apoplexy with her beauty and wit, and on that day you’ll understand. Or maybe you’ve already found her.” He adopts a thinking expression. “Who was it that Whistledown mentioned? The lady from your childhood, Miss—”
Beomgyu lets out an incomprehensible noise somewhere between a screech and a snarl, and if they weren’t in Yeonjun’s own home, Taehyun thinks Beomgyu might have jumped the duke. As it stands, though, they begin bickering, which leaves Kai, Soobin, and himself to look at each other with raised eyebrows and exasperated smiles. 
“Let’s step away from the rabble,” Soobin suggests, and the three of them drift a short distance away. “I don’t understand how I’m related to them, sometimes.”
“Well, every family has its own set of strange relations,” Kai mutters. 
“You would know,” Taehyun says, and they all snort. 
“Do the inheritance squabbles still show no sign of ending?” Soobin asks curiously. “I would have thought by now that it’s become abundantly clear your uncle has no real claim to anything your grandfather left.”
Kai rolls his eyes. “Unfortunately not. But let us not speak of it now, please. Not in polite company,” he says, indicating the rest of the room. “Join me at the club sometime, and I will update you on all of it.”
“Of course,” Soobin says, dipping his head in apology. “How about you, Taehyun? How goes the season? I know you intended to find a wife by the end of it.”
Without really meaning to, Taehyun’s gaze wanders to the other end of the room, where you are still engaged in lively conversation with the duchess. “It is tiring in a way I did not really expect,” he replies. “Taemin didn’t complain much when he went through it, at least. But…” He pauses, wondering how much to tell. “I have met some very interesting young ladies.”
Kai snorts. Taehyun flashes him a short glare. “What?”
His friend doesn’t back down, just raises one mischievous eyebrow over his drink. “Well, I just think that I would say there’s one young lady that you find more interesting than all of the others.” 
Taehyun’s ears burn. He very purposely avoids looking in your direction again. 
“Well, do tell.” Soobin cocks his head, his own eyes glinting. “And don’t spare details.”
“There’s not much to tell,” Taehyun snaps, ignoring Kai’s snicker. “I’ve been speaking to Miss L/N, is all. The pianist,” he clarifies, and Soobin’s eyes widen in recognition. “She’s a very lovely young woman. Accomplished, not just with the piano, and very kind.”
“So lovely, actually, that he asked Her Grace to invite her today,” Kai adds. 
“Which one is she?” Soobin asks, ignoring Taehyun’s hiss of you suggested inviting her first! “Is she the lady speaking to the duchess now, with the rather dour-faced woman behind her?”
Taehyun sighs in defeat and nods. “Yes, she is.”
They all turn together, and almost at the same moment, the duchess turns in his direction as well. She catches his eye and immediately starts to head his way, bringing a small group with her. Kai glances at him with an eyebrow raised, but all Taehyun can do is shrug with similar confusion.
“Lord Kang,” she says as soon as they’re near enough to speak. “Mr. Huening. I understand that the two of you have seen Miss L/N perform before in Germany?”
They nod. “It was a most impressive performance,” Taehyun says earnestly. “A lovely program, played beautifully and wonderfully well.”
“Incredibly so,” Kai chimes in. “In fact, I was almost inspired to take music lessons because of it.”
You look supremely embarrassed, but the smile on your lips is still sparkling in your eyes in a way Taehyun hasn’t seen yet. “So you are the friend Lord Kang mentioned when we first met,” you say, and Taehyun has to laugh even as Kai flushes in embarrassment. “Oh—please do not be embarrassed, Mr. Huening. Your words do me a great honor, truly.”
“You are far too modest, my lady,” Taehyun replies, and while everyone’s attention turns to him, he keeps his eyes fixed on yours. “The praise is well earned, I hope you know that.”
“Which only means that the lady should honor our humble request,” Lord Jung says, a twinkle in his eye. “We were just asking that she take a turn on the pianoforte for us. A private performance, if you will, from one of the most accomplished musicians in our society. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for many of us, after all.”
A chorus of agreement sounds from your little group and begins to ripple outwards to the rest of the room as well. People begin to turn, expectation and excitement bright in their faces, but Taehyun glances at you only to find your expression somewhat frozen. 
All at once he remembers the dark night at the Tillings’ ball, the exhaustion clear in your face and your voice when you admitted you were searching for quiet, too. Are you tired now in the same way? He subtly inches a little closer to you and whispers lowly, “You do not have to if you do not wish to.”
You look up at him and your expression clears, eyes turning soft as you smile at him. “Worry not, my lord,” you reply. “I would love to perform. I was just momentarily overwhelmed—I wasn’t expecting quite so much enthusiasm. I do thank you for your concern, though.”
Taehyun smiles, shaking his head. “You are too modest,” he repeats. “The enthusiasm is only to be expected with a name such as yours. I am excited to hear what you play for us, too.”
You don’t have the chance to refute his praise because his cousin is taking your arm and leading you to the empty piano, the rest of the room excitedly whispering behind you. Taehyun watches you sit down at the keys, running your fingers over them with an almost reverent touch, your head bowed slightly over the sea of black and white as though in prayer.
And maybe it is a prayer, Taehyun thinks. Reverence paid to your love, music—like one paying thanks to their god. The thought is beautiful, and as you straighten slightly, positioning your hands at the instrument, he can’t help but admire you more. 
He doesn’t recognize the piece you play. It’s a lovely work, the quiet melody evocative of the night and dark while short, bright stanzas bring to mind the stars, and as your fingers waltz softly across the keys, Taehyun loses himself in the beauty of the music and the beauty of you. It is not that you weren’t beautiful before—far from it, actually—but seeing you in your element, with people who clearly appreciate your work and talent, is a spectacle Taehyun knows he will never tire of watching. It isn’t just the music. It’s the way you play it, the way you move with the melody—it’s the way you embody the music with your whole being that adds to the beauty of the moment, and the loveliness that is you. 
You finish the piece to silence, everyone’s collective breath hushed as you coax the last note from the piano strings. For a long moment, even after the final echoes of music have faded away, you remain bowed over the keys, eyes closed, hands suspended in the air before they drop softly to your lap. 
The first clap hardly breaks you from your reverie. Even as the applause grows, even as you curtsy to the shouts of Brava filling the room, you still seem like you are being pulled from the loveliest dream. Briefly, Taehyun wonders what it would be like to be in that dream with you—would it be like floating among the stars, letting their soft light wash over his body, or would it be like lying on a field of green grass at night, staring up at the moonlit sky?
You meet Taehyun’s eyes and in a moment you seem to jerk awake—your smile widens, your expression brightens, and he can’t help but do the same as you curtsy again and again. All the time his eyes never leave your face, his mind never leaving the beauty of your performance. 
Kai sidles up to his ear and snorts when Taehyun barely notices him. “You are going to court her, aren’t you?” he asks without preamble. 
“Yes.” Taehyun doesn’t even turn his eyes away from you to reply. “Yes, I am.”
. . . . .
At the start of the season, you’d hoped that the daily parade of balls, gatherings, promenades, and callers would die down a bit as the weeks went on. The season itself is six months, already half a year—you really thought there would be no way that the steady stream of events could continue for so long. 
This, apparently, is not the case. 
It’s been a month and there is no sign of the flow ebbing even slightly. Even when there aren’t massive balls that the entire ton is invited to, there are still the smaller gatherings—small parties, invites to dinner, promenades in the park—and even during the events where only the women are present, the talk always seems to turn to the season, to the debutantes, to engagements and marriage, and most of all, the fact that the queen has still not chosen a diamond. 
You’ve heard all manner of stupidity about this last topic of gossip, and it honestly annoys you more than anything else you’ve seen during the season. If the queen hasn’t chosen a diamond by now, you’d like to say, perhaps that means she simply does not plan to. But apparently the idea of a diamond being absent for the entire season is simply unthinkable to the mamas of the ton, and so after the separation of the sexes at every dinner party you attend, you’re forced to listen to them run the topic into the ground. 
The duchess’s gathering last weekend was a lovely respite from such talk. It was a much smaller gathering, mostly friends and family of the duchy who no longer have much of a stake in the season or who have lived long enough for them not to care. You were very lucky to have gotten an invitation to it at all. It was the first event you attended that you truly enjoyed from start to finish and you walked away from it with both a lingering happiness, a possible good friend in the duchess, and a promise of a call from the lord who invited you to the gathering in the first place. 
Even now, you can’t stop the rush of heat to your face when you remember his sincere compliments after your performance at the duchess’s. The way his large eyes sparkled so earnestly, his words sweet but respectful—it is true that you have only known him for a few weeks, but in that moment, you remember thinking that with every meeting your estimation of his character only seems to improve. And it isn’t just because he is effusive in paying you compliments for your performances. Lord Kang…he sees the person behind the performer, the hard work behind the talent. Of course it helps that he is somewhat of a musician himself—you’d love to hear him play sometime—but he clearly respects the work anyone puts into their own craft, from what you gathered in the conversations you shared with others at the party. 
Before you left, he had found you again and asked, somewhat shyly, if you enjoyed reading about music history or theory. When you responded yes to both, he told you he had several volumes on the subjects in his library, and would be happy to lend them to you if you wished. 
Aunt Taylor was not pleased by your stammering reply. Neither were you. But it was such a kind gesture that it took you aback for a good few moments, and by the time you had finally managed to convey that you would love that, you felt a true mess. Lord Kang didn’t seem perturbed by it at all, though. His smile only widened, and he said that then he would have to call sometime the next week, to see you and bring them to you. 
Your governess is certain he means to court you. So do your cousins, though Aunt Taylor has forbidden them from gossiping about it as it isn’t a sure thing yet. You aren’t quite as certain as they are, but deep inside, battling with the part of you that fears marriage and its shackles of responsibility, another part of you hopes that she is right.
The prospect of Lord Kang’s call is really what keeps you going through the seemingly endless nights of dinner parties and mindless chatter, small talk made with family friends you hardly remember and debutantes who either talk about topics you don’t know or care little about, or who look like they want to be there about as much as you do. You find a few kindred spirits among those who are bold enough to whisper their disdain aloud, though, and they make the time more worth it. 
Still, when the morning of Lord Kang’s call comes, you can’t help but feel as though a new light shines on the day. Cousin Lilly slyly remarks that you look more excited than usual as she removes her toddlers from the drawing room in anticipation of calling hour, and even Aunt Taylor’s hissed instructions to sit straight or you’ll turn a perfectly good suitor away doesn’t dampen your mood much as you settle into the couch, watching servants flit about with last minute preparations. 
Just a few minutes after the clock strikes three, a footman enters the room. “Lord Kang has come to call, my lady,” he says. 
You force yourself to breathe properly as your aunt tells him to bring Lord Kang in. For once, you thank the heavens for your aunt’s beady-eyed attention to detail. While her sharp critiques may sting more than they help when directed at you, it means that the room is clean and bright. Lord Kang should find himself most comfortable when he comes in. Or so you hope. 
Lord Kang enters the room with little fanfare, but with an abundance of quiet grace that, for all your earlier nervousness, immediately calms your nerves. After the initial greetings, he remarks on the careful décor of the room and pays compliment to your aunt, who actually looks briefly stunned before she accepts his praise. You’re smiling widely by the time he turns to you—maybe too widely for your aunt’s liking, but you can’t help it—and dare you say it? His eyes seem to sparkle a little more when he looks at you. 
“My lady,” he says, kissing your hand. “I trust you have been well since we last saw each other.”
“Quite so, and I hope I might say the same for you,” you reply. Honestly, you’re quite proud of yourself for keeping your voice so steady when your heart leapt so wildly the moment his lips touched your knuckles. 
“You may,” he says, eyes crinkling with a little mischief. “And as promised, I have brought you the books I mentioned when we spoke last time. I do hope you enjoy them.”
“I’m sure I will,” you say, taking the small stack of books with delight. Their worn covers speak of frequent and fond use, you note, scanning the titles embossed on their spines. “Oh!” you exclaim, sliding one of them out of the stack. “Oh, I’ve been wanting to read this for quite some time.” You beam up at Lord Kang. “Thank you so much, my lord.”
“It is my pleasure,” he replies, a lovely soft smile on his lips. “And, please, take your time reading them. Do not endeavor to return them sooner than you’d like—I’ve read them all, so you need not rush.”
“You are most kind,” you reply sincerely. “Oh, which reminds me.” Placing the books on a nearby table, you pick up a few sheets of music from the drawing room piano. “You mentioned last time that you had not heard the piece I played, and that you found it quite beautiful,” you say, extending the music to him. “I thought…I thought you might like to have the music. If you wanted to learn it yourself.”
Lord Kang takes a moment before he accepts the music from your hand, which makes you a little nervous—what if he doesn’t care for your gift? There’s no way it really compares to the volumes he’s lent you, you think miserably, but it’s all you could think of to give in return. But then he looks up from the black notes inked on the page, and that lovely smile of his has widened along with his bright eyes. “Thank you so much,” he breathes. “This is…the most perfect gift, my lady. I hope you will not mind me borrowing it for a time.”
“Oh, do not worry about returning it,” you say, smiling. “This is a new copy—I have my own for myself. This one is for you.”
“Well, in that case, I know what I will be doing when I return home,” Lord Kang replies, and the two of you laugh. “I can only hope to learn this piece half as well as you have.”
You laugh again, hiding a shy smile behind your hand. “Again, my lord, you flatter me too much.”
“No, I fear the world does not flatter you enough.” His words are so sincere, so earnest that you momentarily find yourself at a loss for words. And it’s then, of course, that you notice you’re both still standing. You haven’t even offered him a seat yet. 
“You really are too kind,” you reply, internally screaming. “Please my lord, do sit. We have some refreshments if you should like any, and our cook can prepare others if you are feeling particular.”
Lord Kang truly does have perfect manners, you note as you sit down together. He compliments the chef, your aunt, your governess, all so quickly and smoothly you barely have a moment to bat an eye. And then, when you’re floundering a little for a way to begin a conversation, he again takes the lead and engages you easily with a question about the composer of the music you gave him. 
It’s so easy to talk to him. Not just because he’s a wonderful conversationalist, which he is, but you feel comfortable around him in a way that you haven’t felt with any of the other suitors you’ve entertained over the past couple of weeks. Part of it is your shared interests, of course, but he listens to you with an attentive and respectful air that makes talking to him so much easier. It doesn’t feel fake, the way it does with some of the other men. It feels as though he really cares about you, your interests, and what makes you happy. 
And because of this, it’s not difficult to reciprocate in kind. As he mentioned during your promenade, Lord Kang clearly loves literature. When you ask about his library, his enthusiasm about the subject is infectious. At some point you land on the topic of an author that you both have read, one that he enjoyed and you didn’t, and it sparks a lively back-and-forth that has both of you laughing in the end. You’re nowhere near as well-read as he is, and in this conversation it unfortunately shows—his opinions on the author are deep and nuanced while you struggle to articulate what it is about the writing that made you dislike it so—but he remains patient and respectful, and despite your lack of knowledge, just like when you spoke during your promenade, you never feel out of place or embarrassed. 
“You are so well-read, my lord,” you say at the end of your little debate. Your throat rasps a little from speaking so much but you hardly notice, you’re smiling so hard. “How did you come into possession of so many books, and how do you have the time to read them all?”
“Well, both my mother and father enjoy collecting books, so I grew up surrounded by them,” he replies. Of course, you think—such a love for literature must have been cultivated from a young age, just as your love for music. “I took it upon myself to read as many as I could when I was a child, and so when I went to school I quite enjoyed my classics lessons. Upon inheriting the earldom, I was pleased to learn that the estate came with a very large library that the previous lord had left.” At that, Lord Kang’s smile softens. “I’ve been spending all the free time that I can reading as much as possible. The late lord must have been collecting books for a very long time, though—sometimes I wonder if I will be able to finish them all before I pass on.”
You nod in sympathy. “I feel the same about all the sheet music I have collected over the years. I always want to add more to my repertoire, but there’s just so much in the world. I could certainly never hope to finish it all, though perhaps that is the beauty in it. The beauty in creation, I mean.” You glance at the music you gifted him, lying on the table beside you two. “I believe art is a tribute to humanity, to human emotion and empathy. People will be composing and writing throughout my life and long after my death, and to know that this beauty continues on even though I will not be there to share it…I think that is beautiful. It is a wonderful tradition, passed on through the ages, and I will always be honored to have been a part of it.”
A short silence falls after your declaration. Suddenly self-conscious, you look up to find Lord Kang’s eyes riveted to yours. “That is a lovely way of seeing things,” he says softly. “I had never thought about art before in such a manner.”
You duck your head, heat crawling up your cheeks. “Many perspectives exist when it comes to the philosophy of the arts, my lord. This is only mine.”
He cocks his head, meeting your eyes again. “And a lovely philosophy it is, my lady.”
Thankfully—or unthankfully, really—you’re saved from having to come up with a response by the entrance of your footman. “Another caller has arrived,” he says, glancing at you, then Lord Kang, then at your aunt. “Shall I send him in?”
You glance up at the clock. Already half an hour has passed, though to your mind it feels like only seconds have slipped away—certainly not thirty minutes, already ten minutes over what a normal call would be. Inwardly you curse the next caller for having come too soon—actually, for having come at all—because while you may not know him well, you’re quite certain Lord Kang’s impeccable manners will have him clearing out before the next caller comes in. 
To your chagrin, you’re right. Lord Kang quickly stands and you follow suit, still cursing the clock and the caller. “I will not intrude upon your next call, my lady,” he says, and maybe it is delusion but you fancy he sounds somewhat put out when he says this. “I have already taken too much of your time.”
“Not too much at all, my lord.” You curtsy to his short bow. “I did not realize so much time had passed, but I quite enjoyed our conversation. And thank you kindly for lending me your books. I will be sure to enjoy them.”
“Of course.” He inclines his head with an enchanting smile. “And I must thank you again for your kind gift, my lady. Perhaps by the next time we meet, I will have learned to play it.”
You grin. “I do hope so. It would be so lovely to hear you perform sometime.”
With that, Lord Kang makes his goodbyes, and you’re left to welcome the next caller. He is thankfully not Mr. Haynesworth, as you had privately been dreading, but really, you feel that any caller would have paled in comparison to Lord Kang. Lord Kim, whom you met at the last ball you attended, isn’t rude or vile or even awkward. He’s a gentleman, all things considered. But after the requisite greetings, he begins the call with an outright statement about his plans for the future, which leaves you half-floundering for a response after your previous lively conversation with Lord Kang. 
Lord Kim doesn’t share any of your interests. He barely feigns interest in your music, and though he doesn’t say it outright, you’re almost certain he would want you to give up the piano if you were to marry. Though that’s not even what bothers you the most, you realize only when he’s about to leave—it’s the fact that he didn’t even ask you about it. It’s the expectation that he seems to have that you would do what he says without question, without the respect of even considering your passions and interests when planning out the rest of your possible life together. 
Later that night you lie awake in your bed, staring at the dark ceiling as you run through the events of the day. In an ideal world, you ask yourself, if you were to be married, what would make it a perfect marriage?
No conflict. Perfect understanding of one another, and perfect respect. But really, those are impossible demands. You’re not sure any marriage would be perfect without conflict, anyway—such a relationship sounds awfully like a domineering husband and submissive wife, which you hope to fully steer clear of. 
But understanding and respect, even if not perfect, doesn’t seem like it should be so unattainable. Marriage, you think, should be a partnership. And a partnership implies a mutual respect for one another, no? And maybe the definition of respect varies from one person to another, but for you, it involves a consideration of your interests and how deeply they play a role in your life. Because for you, before now, almost your entire life was music. You can’t—won’t—give it up just to play a role in society. So is there anyone who might give you that respect?
The answer is obvious already. 
You sigh, rubbing a thumb over where Lord Kang kissed your hand earlier in greeting. He certainly seems to be the ideal, at least for you. Your mind returns to your avid conversation, and his complete attentiveness to you. 
Few people have listened to you like he did today. Your mother did before she died, and sometimes your governess does, but not many others. You need that, you realize. You need someone, or something, to hear you—it’s partly why you poured so much of yourself into the piano when your mother passed, because it felt like only the instrument could hear you and understand your pain, your grief. That is what you need in marriage. In partnership. 
And, you think, remembering large eyes and a soft, wide smile, there’s only one person you know who seems to fit this ideal. 
. . . . .
“You look like you’re having quite a lot of fun.”
Taehyun turns from where he’s been staring at the drink table for probably a little too long. “Yeonjun? I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.”
The duke picks up two glasses and hands one to him. “We weren’t certain if we were going to come either. The duchess decided last night that she wanted to get out of the house for some time, so here we are. ”
Taehyun nods. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen the two of you out much since you returned to town.”
“It’s only been a couple of weeks since we returned,” Yeonjun defends. “There was and still is much to sort out, and unfortunately I have to return to the country next weekend to supervise the removal and fixing of some of the farmers’ equipment.” He sighs. “I hate responsibility.”
“It will all be fine, I’m sure,” Taehyun comforts. Yeonjun and his wife are two of the most capable people he knows; he’s certain they will be alright no matter what challenges they face. “Join us at the club tomorrow afternoon,” he offers. “Kai, Beomgyu, and Soobin will be there too.”
Yeonjun brightens immediately. “I will be there.” Then he squints his eyes into a mock frown. “Are you all now meeting without me? Is it because I’m old, and married, and jaded now?”
“Well, when you put it that way…” Taehyun snickers into his drink as Yeonjun’s pout deepens exaggeratedly. “No, we just met up a few times when you were still in the country. You’ll be included in every invite now, I promise.” He pauses. “Though of course if you are busy, you are under no obligation to come.”
“Thank you very much.” Yeonjun grins, that eye smile that drove so many debutantes insane appearing on his face. “But enough about me. Now about you.” He fixes Taehyun with a stern eye. “I thought you were looking for a wife? You won’t have much luck with that, staring at this array of drinks.”
Taehyun makes a face. “I think many of these mamas want to find their daughters husbands more than I want to find myself a wife,” he mutters. 
Yeonjun nearly chokes into his drink. “That’s certainly one way to put the issue,” he coughs out, recovering. “Though I heard from Beomgyu that there is already a lady you have decided to court?”
“…Yes.” Taehyun narrows his eyes. “How did you know that? I only told Kai.”
“He says he heard it from Kai, so I think we know what happened there.” Yeonjun shrugs as Taehyun sighs. “Apparently you didn’t say it was a secret.”
He didn’t. But all the same… “He’ll be the death of me, someday,” Taehyun mutters. “But yes, I have someone in mind. Miss L/N. You met her a couple of weeks ago, at the gathering.” He pauses, then decides he may as well just be out with it. “I’ve been calling on her since.”
“That is wonderful to hear,” Yeonjun replies sincerely. “Is she here tonight?”
“She said she would be.” Taehyun glances around the room. “I specifically asked, because we keep seeming to miss each other at all the other balls. If I’m there, she isn’t, and if I’m not, she is.” They share a little laugh. “I haven’t been able to find her here since I arrived, though.” He gestures helplessly at the drink table. “Hence…”
Yeonjun makes a little ‘o’ of understanding. “I see. And you do not want to dance with any of the other debutantes?”
“I already have,” Taehyun says, glancing at the bustling dance floor. “I’m just…tired, I suppose.” He tries to smile. “You know how it is.”
He doesn’t, not really. In the year since Taehyun gotten to know the duke, he’s come to the conclusion that Yeonjun is like Taemin when it comes to things like this—ever social, ever happy to entertain and be entertained. But also like Taemin, he understands that Taehyun is different, and tires of these things much more easily than he does. “I understand,” Yeonjun replies sympathetically. A little glint enters his eye when he sees something just behind Taehyun. “If you’d like, I can cover you for a bit. So you can find some quiet.”
Taehyun casts a glance back. Sure enough, a small group of mamas and their daughters seem to be eyeing him and the duke. “That would be most appreciated,” he says gratefully. 
Within moments, Yeonjun has skillfully engaged the group of ladies in conversation and has also managed to snag a hapless Wooyoung into joining him, leaving Taehyun to slip past the throng. As the rooms grow less crowded and the corridors quieter, he takes a deep breath, reveling in the silence. 
Only it isn’t completely silent, even in this empty room. If Taehyun listens carefully, he can catch a hint of a melody that isn’t just the remnants of the orchestra fading in from a nearby corridor. 
Within moments, he’s heading down the corridor, a smile curving his lips as he searches for the source of the music. 
He finds the room with a little difficulty, following the sound of your performance down corridor after corridor. When he finally stumbles upon the slightly cracked open door, Taehyun is reminded of the second ball of the season, where he heard you that first time. He didn’t know it was you then, but he certainly knows it is you now. It helps that this is a piece he’s heard you play before—it’s a lovely Mozart sonata you performed when he called on you a few days ago—but your style is also so distinctive that even though Taehyun has only heard you play a handful of times, even not knowing the piece, he’s almost certain he would still know it was you. 
Taehyun smiles just beyond the room, leaning closer towards the open door. He won’t disturb you—even though he aims to court you, he would never trap you into a proposal by having someone catch the two of you alone together. He just wants to listen. And perhaps, when you’re finished, he’ll be able to catch you when you return back to the party, and you two can share a dance. 
It’s strange that in all the times you’ve met, the two of you have not yet danced together once. Taehyun aims to rectify that as soon as he can, if you will allow it. 
And allow it you will, he thinks. He’s certain he’s not the only one who has noticed how well you two get along. You must have felt it too, just as you must also have seen by now that he is quite interested in you.  And he’s almost sure that you are interested in him too, if your shy smiles and sweet words are anything to go by. 
Closing his eyes, he leans closer to the music. A brilliant sparkle of notes swirl under your fingers, the melody leaping with a joy that lingers in his ears and widens his smile. Cheerful and sweet, though there’s a noise that doesn’t sound right entering the piece. It’s strange—it sounds something like—
Footsteps?
Taehyun quickly ducks into a nearby empty room, praying no one saw him. The low conversation of the small group continues without interruption and he breathes a sigh of relief. They keep coming closer, though, and he thinks he can hear the voice of Lady Arina Park telling Her Majesty—she brought the queen?—that she must see the Gérard painting in this room, it’s quite famous and apparently not a fake—
Holding his breath, Taehyun watches them enter the room where you’re playing. But the music doesn’t stop, not just yet. He almost smiles—it’s not hard to believe you would be so lost in the melody that you wouldn’t notice a small group of people entering the room—but that smile freezes in place when the queen makes an exclamation and the music ends abruptly. 
Taehyun swallows. This might not be good. The queen can’t be pleased that you would avoid a ball to play the pianoforte—maybe he can help, just enter the room and act surprised to see everyone. He could easily claim he was curious about the music. 
He edges into the hallway just in time to hear you apologizing profusely. “Forgive me, Your Majesty, I was only taking a small pause from the ball—”
“Because you delight in your endeavors.” Taehyun stops short when he hears the smile in Her Majesty’s voice. He should leave—from her tone, you are probably not in trouble, which means it’s better for him not to be here. He wouldn’t want to be accused of eavesdropping on Her Majesty. Still, though he can’t help but hear the queen’s words as he takes soundless steps down the hallway. “Someone who performs not for me, but for themselves. Brava.”
That, Taehyun can agree with. Yet while part of his heart leaps in happiness for you—it is, after all, no small feat to impress the queen—another part of him remembers your desire for quiet at the Tillings’ ball and wonders what the queen’s attention might mean for an introverted woman like you. 
You mumble something that he doesn’t quite catch. And as Taehyun steps down the corridor, he hears the queen speak again, pleasure clear in her tone. 
“A performance that sparkles,” she declares. “Just like a diamond.”
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Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed this, and have a lovely day :) Note: part 2 will be posted in three days, on June 17 at 8pm EST :)
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marvelsmylife · 7 months
Text
Enchanted
Pairing: Cassian x reader
Plot: Cassian finds his mate during Starfall
A/n I was watching the Eras tour last night (yes I’m a die hard Swiftie) and was inspired to write this when she performed Enchanted. I decided to write it about Cassian because I feel like he needs more love on here.
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Cassian really didn’t want to be here celebrating, not when a few months ago he nearly died during the battle with Hybern. He reluctantly agreed, only because he wanted to please his high lord and lady, but if it was up to him, he would be locked away in his room.
After only being at the celebration for a few hours, Cassian was ready to make an excuse to leave the party.
That’s when he spotted you in the middle of the dance floor, dancing alone, with no care in the world. Cassian couldn’t help but admire your free spirit and wondered if you came to the celebration with a significant other or if you came here with friends. He didn’t know why, but he started growing jealous at the thought of you possibly being here with another male.
“That’s y/n,” Rhysand commented, and scared Cassian because he didn’t realize his brother was standing next to him: “She’s good friends with Feyre,” Rhysand added when he realized Cassian was probably wondering how he knew what your name was: “You should go dance with her. From what Feyre has told me, she got out of a relationship not long ago and is trying to get out and have some fun.”
The old Cassian would jump at the chance to bed a beautiful female like yourself, but he couldn’t bring him to do it, at least not tonight: “I’m not like that anymore,” Cassian replied. 
Rhysand gave Cassian an amused look at his explanation and earned a punch from his brother: “I’m trying not to be like that anymore. I want what you and Feyre have. I want to find my mate but don’t know how I’ll find her. How did you know Feyre was your mate?”
Rhysand began explaining what he felt before finding out Feyre was his mate. Halfway through Rhysand’s explanation, Cassian couldn’t help but look over at you again and felt as if someone knocked the wind out of him. Rhysand seemed to notice and patted Cassian on the shoulder: “I’m going to repeat myself: go ask y/n, your mate to dance.”
Without giving himself a chance to second guess himself, Cassian walked up to you and lightly tapped your shoulder: “How can I-” You went silent when you made eye contact with Cassian: “General Cassian, how may I help you?”
“Dance with me?” Cassian asked, point blank: “Please?”
There were gasps from jealous females as they watched Cassian extend his hand to you: “I would be honored to dance with you,” you smiled at Cassian and took his hand.
Luck seemed to be on Cassian’s side that night because the second he pulled you up against his chest, a slow song started playing. “So general,” you spoke to break the tension between the two of you: “How are you enjoying Starfall?”
“Please, call me Cassian, and it’s better now that I’m dancing with the most beautiful female in all of Prythian,” Cassian replied; a warm smile appeared on his face: “What about you?”
You tried not to let Cassian’s words get to you, but a shy smile crept up on your face at his compliment: “I was doing ok until a handsome Illyrian man complimented me, and now I don’t know how to act.”
Cassian felt his ego boost at your comment and found himself holding you a little tighter. He was about to ask you when Rhysand announced the show was about to begin. Cassian leaned in and whispered into your ear: “Come with me. I know a better view.”
You were going to question him where because you already had a perfect view of the sky when Cassian decided to carry you bridal style out and into the skies. “Cassian, where are you taking me. We’re going to miss the stars,” you asked while burying your face into Cassian’s chest.
“Don’t worry, we’ll still see it,” Cassian reassured you.
You were starting to get worried about where Cassian was taking you until he finally landed on a mountaintop. “Did you bring me here to get murdered?”
Cassian tried not to laugh at your question: “No, I didn’t bring you here to get murdered. I brought you here so we could watch this,” Cassian pointed to the sky and noticed the stars passing by: “I brought you here so we can watch this without any background noise.”
You were in awe as you looked up at the sky and saw stars shooting across the sky. “No matter how many times I’ve seen this, I’ll never get tired of it,” you gushed: “Good call coming over here to watch it. While I love celebrating with others, it’s nice to watch this in silence.”
While your eyes were glued to the sky, Cassian stared down at you with nothing but love and adoration. He couldn’t believe that after so long, he was finally face to face with this mate. His only problem was that he didn't know if he should let you know right away that you mates or if he should wait until you get to know each other better.
Feeling Cassian’s stare, you looked up at him confused: “What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” you started touching your cheeks.
Cassian found himself chuckling at your question and replied: “No. I’m just admiring your beauty,” causing your cheeks to turn warm.
“You Illyrian males are something else,” you smiled at the Illyrian male. 
Something inside Cassian finally snapped, and he found himself leaning in to kiss you. You were expecting the kiss to be rough and rushed, but it was the complete opposite. Cassian was kissing you so gently, like he was afraid you were going to break under his touch. His large, rough hands were resting at the small of your waist, pulling you closer to him.
You didn’t know how long you kissed Cassian, but you started craving more of him. He was all you could think of, and you started to feel a sense of dread at the mere thought of being away from him. As soon as Cassian pulls away, you hear the words you never thought you’d hear in your lifetime, especially from someone like Cassian: “I thought I’d never find you, my beautiful mate.”
“Mate?” you repeated in surprise: “We’re mates?”
Cassian simply nodded, worried sketched on his face. He was afraid you would reject him, even though you shared what he thought was an extraordinary kiss.
“Mates,” you repeated once again; this time, you smiled up at him: “You’re my mate.”
“I’m your mate,” Cassian leaned in again, but just as he was about to kiss you, he whispered: “Happy Starfall, my beautiful mate,” and kissed you again.
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lets-try-some-writing · 5 months
Note
I swear I would die for a fanfic or writing of Alpha Trion experience with feral bitey Orion who has no respect for his ancient ways or scrolls and like the experience of finding him.
Coming right up my dear anon! I may have messed with your prompt just a little bit. Sorry for how short this is.
━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━
"Orion Pax." Alpha Trion put down his quill with a sigh as he looked over his shoulder. The feral monstrosity was at it yet again.
"Primus below, give me strength." He knew exactly what to expect, but it still prompted him to sigh as he looked at the hole in Orion's crib. He had, yet again, bitten his way through the metal bars and clambered his way to freedom. Alpha Trion would need to get a cyber-hound kennel or get a custom crib made from something far more sturdy than whatever the crib was currently made of.
This was the third crib just this stellar cycle.
"Archivists, be on the lookout for Orion Pax. He has escaped his designated space yet again." He sent the message over the private channel used by the Archives. He could almost feel the collective groan of his students as they put down whatever they were doing to find the wayward sparkling traversing the Archives.
He wandered the halls while rubbing his face in exhaustion. Ever since taking in Pax, there had been no peace in his once restful workspace. Orion cried throughout most of his recharge cycle, and barring that, he was plotting yet another escape attempt. It was draining on body and spark alike. Especially when Orion was found chewing on a record dating back to the early Quintesson era.
"Sir, we've located him?" He perked up at the voice coming across his commlink, but he frowned at the almost questioning tone. Was the archivist not sure?
"You do not sound confident." He remarked simply as he strode in the general direction of the archivist's signal.
"Well, we have found him, but he's... in the ceiling?" That was not a good sign. Alpha Trion all but sprinted until he found the archivist and a few others crowded around the base of a huge pillar. It held up the fifth archival level and extended more than sixty feet into the air. Looking up, Alpha Trion wanted to bang his helm against the nearest wall.
"Do we get a ladder?" The question hung in the air as Orion Pax clung to the very top of the pillar, his little clawed digits digging into the metal as he chewed on a datapad. Why he climbed up the pillar and why he was eating a datapad was beyond Alpha Trion. He stopped bothering to ask questions after a certain point.
"Yes, get the ladder." Alpha Trion sighed and died a little inside as, before he knew it, he was teetering precariously on a ladder with the aid of more than a few archivists as he reached out to grab his ward. The feral sparkling purposefully kept scooting around the pillar to avoid his grasp, growing as he did so. Alpha Trion had half the mind to shoot him with a dart gun just to make him loosen up. However, he was not fond of the idea of actually hurting the little monster.
A half groon and more than a few scratches later, Alpha Trion held his screeching ward by the leg upside down as he carefully worked back down the ladder. The archivists vented in relief and one was quick to grab an energon crystal for the screaming sparkling to chew on. The moment Alpha Trion put it in his intake, Orion's optics cycled down and he contented himself by crunching his way through the crystal.
It was a momentary break from what was likely to be a long few cycles of chasing Orion down while a new crib was made.
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muddyorbsblr · 4 months
Text
charades
'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!
Placement: pre-relationship era; months before 'one look and they'll know'
Summary: After a particularly horrible day on set, Chris extends an invitation for you to join the cast in a game of charades to unwind.
Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
Warning/s: workplace bullying (mentioned); language [let me know if I missed anything!]
Things to be aware of: hints of mutual pining; we're in Hemsworth's POV
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"Come on, it'll be fun, Tiny Terror, I promise." Chris gave your shoulders a slight shake to hopefully snap you out of the sour mood you'd been in all day. It was more than obvious why, considering that there were a good few production assistants that looked like they were on their own personal mission to get you to break composure and break a nose, constantly putting your team down for working too slow or some other reason.
One of them even tried insisting that there were props out of place so they could call into question your skill in clocking the continuity between shots. And while it was simple enough to debunk their accusations, it had also been a rather tedious day even just watching all of the little inconveniences happen that seemed hellbent on putting a damper to your day. He couldn't imagine how much more stressful it was in your shoes.
You were only allowed a few minutes to breathe without much worry when those assistants were pulled aside for Taika to have a word with them. Because other than him, there was someone else that not only witnessed the borderline harassment that occurred today, but was damn near foaming at the mouth to start snapping at them for their insolence.
Tom.
And right now Chris could only imagine that the Brit was standing at full height putting forward every single intimidation tactic he had on display at those people and asking them point blank if they had some sort of issue with you.
"I really don't know, Hemsy, it's been a long day. I kinda just want it to be over," you sighed, the facade you'd put in place of trying to look unbothered finally cracking as your shoulders slumped. "No idea who fucking pissed in their cereal this morning but if their goal was to drag someone down with them, they fucking succeeded. Just wanna go back to my hotel room and order a big bowl of pasta and a bottle of wine and turn my phone off until tomorrow morning."
"Alright, how about this. Just a few rounds, and if you hate it, I'll pay for your pasta and wine?"
You paused, thinking over his offer for a few seconds before finally sighing, "Fine. Thirty minutes. But if I tell you I wanna go, you better be ready to order me the fattest bowl of truffle cream pasta you can find."
Just as you walked off back to your team, Taika and Tom came out of one of the back offices where they sequestered the offending crew members. There were visible scowls on their faces as they muttered to themselves while Taika whispered some instructions to security, probably telling them to keep an eye on the troublemakers moving forward.
"Saw you talking to Lil Mayhem," Taika spoke up once he stood where you did just a few moments ago. "She alright?"
Had the situation not been so tense, Chris probably would have poked a bit of fun at the way Tom's face became visibly more animated as he scanned the set trying to find you. If the Brit became even the slightest bit more enamored with you and still refused to do anything about it, he might have to tell you himself just to caution you that if you didn't feel the same way, you'd have to let him down gently. And preferably sooner rather than later.
"She will be," Chris answered. "She's joining us later."
"Ah perfect," the New Zealander exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "We can pair her off with Tom."
"Hmm?" There was an alarmed look in Tom's eyes now, the sound coming out of him uncharacteristically higher pitched than normal.
"Oh come on, mate, did you really think nobody noticed? You look at her like a pup, wagging its tail and jumping in place when its mum comes home." Chris clapped a hand down on his shoulder, trying not to laugh at how mortified he looked finding out his subtle "work crush" on you wasn't exactly that subtle. "Just don't go humping her leg when she walks in."
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"Oh my God, yes you're here too," Tessa exclaimed when you walked into Taika's suite, doing a little bounce on her place at the couch and patting the seat beside her. "We can be partners and smoke their asses."
"Hemsworth promised to buy me pasta if I hated it," you told her with a shrug, sitting at the vacant seat. You didn't seem to have noticed that Tom had moved over, making room next to him on the other side of the table. "And I'm not one to turn down free food."
"Tessa you're already partnered with Chris over here," Taika informed her, pointing at the Australian.
"Hold on since when?" He simply showed her a paper containing all your names, your eyes widening slightly when you saw that yours was next to Tom's. "Fine," she huffed, shifting her gaze over to Chris. "We got this."
Taika then presented a little fishbowl containing folded scraps of paper and explained that a single turn would consist of each of you picking out a paper and trying to sign out whatever was on their paper, while the other had to guess what it was. Straightforward enough. "Whoever's signing cannot talk, but they can make sounds if they think it'll help," he kept on explaining. "Winning pair will get…a nice swanky dinner for two when we get to LA for the premiere. Sound good?"
Lay it on a little thicker, Taika, I don't think they're catching on yet, Chris thought sarcastically, immediately clocking the way your cheeks were reddening and Tom was without a doubt imagining what it would be like to be sitting across from you in a fancy restaurant, imagining that you two were on a proper date. What with the way he couldn't keep his eyes off of you, along with that dopey lovestruck smile painting his face every time you even shared the same breathing space, it wasn't that hard to take a guess what the Brit was thinking right at this moment.
Once everyone had a scrap of paper in their hand, Taika spun a little wheel of your names to pick out which pair went first. "Alrighty then, Tom? Y/N? Which one of you'll be guessing first?"
"Oh, uhm…can I guess first? 'Cause I can't sign for shit."  Your request as you addressed Tom sounded casual enough, had it not been for the chuckle at the end that immediately had both Chris and Taika knowing much better than to mistake your demeanor for 'casual'. Seemed you were as skittish around Tom as he was around you.
And maybe Chris didn't have to interfere and advise you to let his friend down easy after all. Maybe he just had to sit back and let you two find each other at your own pace.
Though admittedly this was the type of behavior that started out cute but would grow frustrating to watch if it went on for too long. If neither of you made a move in the coming weeks he might be tempted to lock you two in a cramped storage closet to move things along.
Tom stood up from his seat, cheeks quickly becoming tinged with pink when he saw the words on his little scrap of paper before looking up and holding your gaze. On a whim, Chris decided to take his phone out and have his camera at the ready.
The chime on Taika's phone signaled him to start, and he held up five fingers in front of you.
"Five words." He then nodded and held up one finger before creating a letter "T" with his hands. "First word 'The'." He held up four fingers next and did the "T" symbol again. "And fourth word 'The'. So 'The Blank-Blank The Blank'?"
He nodded at you, a light shining in both your eyes as he kept on, like a couple of kids excited they found someone to play with. But then when Tom went on to sign the second word, for a split second you gave him a look that had everyone in the room that paid even the smallest amount of attention that his affections were definitely not one-sided.
You were well on your way to being completely smitten with him, too.
He held up two fingers before making a lassoing motion and snapping his fingers so loud that the sound made your neck twitch, your eyes glazing over as he pointed to the space in front of him. "Uh…uhm…Capture?" He shook his head, repeating the motion again. "Herding?" He shook his head again. "Collaring--Cowboy?" He let out a laugh before shaking his head again. "Okay I don't think I'm gonna get that, maybe another word we're running out of time."
Tom took a deep breath, as if composing himself before holding up five fingers. And then he drew his hands close to his chest and started making the most ridiculous sound with his head tilted to the ceiling. "Ememememe omomomomo".
That had you bursting into a fit of giggles, making him break out into a face-splitting grin and a few chuckles of his own. "I'm sorry I got absolutely nothing on that, go back to the second word." He went back to the lassoing and snapping movement. "Wait is this for a person or an animal?" He made a motion as if weighing an object in each of his hands, signaling to you that it was both. "Both?! Okay so…domestication?" He shook his head, but motioning for you to keep going down that route. "The--Taming?" Then you gasped, standing up right as two seconds were left on the clock, clapping your hands. "The Taming of the Shrew! The Taming of the Shrew!"
Out of the sheer excitement in the moment, he made his way around the table, grasping for your hands before framing your face in his hands. Had you both lost yourselves in the moment for even a few seconds longer, Chris would have bet good money that you two would have shared a kiss right in front of them.
But then both of you froze in place, giving each other an awkward smile before he stepped back, making his way back to where he stood seconds before. Good thing Chris already had his phone in hand and snapped a photo before your mutual shyness toward each other got the better of you.
"Cute," Taika commented, throwing Tom a look. "Alrighty then Y/N, it's your turn now."
You stood, looking at your scrap of paper and then looking around the room, your eyes landing on the decorative skull flower vase on the dining table.
Before you could signal for Taika to start the clock, Tom spoke up, "Hamlet?"
A choked sound of utter shock slipped out of everyone else in the room. "Hold up, that counts right, T?" Taika just nodded.
"How the fuck--Are you two telepathically connected or something?" Tessa threw the question out, pointing her finger at both of you. "You know what it doesn't matter, the night's still young. We still got a chance to smoke 'em, Hemsworth."
Chris wasn't paying much attention, shooting you a text instead. So you wanna cash in on that free food, Tiny Terror?
He had to fight back the knowing grin that pulled at the corners of his mouth seeing the message you typed back. I could stay a few more rounds.
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A/N: I did mention before that I have some pre-relationship chapters planned for these two blorbos, right? 👀 Well if I didn't, I'm saying it now. Chapters. Plural. I honestly don't know how many pieces I have in store for this collection but safe to say it's not ending any time soon. 😳💖
'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @herdetectivetheorist
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no please bc just once I wanna make hobie nervous flustered.. like why can’t he can’t be intimated by me why I always gotta be intimidated by him 🙄🙄
TRULLLYY The opportunities are endless!! Let's talk about it!!!!!!!!!!!
Hobie Brown Loves Feminists and Defying the Patriarchy aka Hobie Brown and Writing write Non-Conventional Romantic Relationships in 'x-readers'
[this is an analysis where I analyze Hobie Brown, non-conventional relationships, and how feminism factors in to it all. Basically a critique/dive/rant into the narrow 'x-reader culture' in the Hobie Fandom
I touch on issues in Smut, labels, and how we can write 'Y/N's that challenge that status quo and fit Hobie better. I also break down how I personally use feminist themes to write a non-conventional relationship for Hobie.] [Also there's now a PART 2 HERE]
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Despite the man from the 1970's - the era of bra-burning second-wave feminism - I don't ever think I've seen anyone talk about it, him, and how it influences him.
We all know Hobie isn't down with labels, but it seems like in X-Fem!Reader, the only two options out there are play-boy guitarist and traditional out-of-the-box boyfriend.
Hobie. The man he follows no social quo. Don't expect flowers from him.
Hobie diverges from the norm in nearly every way, and he does it purposefully and intentionally. And I think that'd extend to his romantic relationships too.
So why do we only see him in heteronormative, traditional gender-role based relationships?
Would Hobie be into this? And does the way we write him and his relationships in x-writers serve Hobie emotionally, allowing him to be a full character? (No, they don't.)
How can begin to acknowledge that, just like Hobie cares about race, and class, and housing and queer rights - he'd care about feminism too.
And how would that influence him in romance? How can we start writing healthier x-reader's?
We have enough insecure, blushing 'Y/N's being woo'd by [insert tumblr sexy man]'. Hobie can have so much more - in the words of Beyonce "Where the ladies up in here who like to talk back?!"
Hobie Brown, Romance, and Gender Roles
Why can I be the one calling him 'love', and 'darling', and 'sweetheart'?
Where's the fic where I'm the one comforting and taking care of him when he's sick/down?
Why can't Hobie be the one asked to be held?
There's something lacking here!!!!!!!
I honestly think Hobie would be into it, and find it very attractive - having a feminine partner who defies gender roles in their relationship purposefully and proudly.
Hobie loves subverting expectations and challenging society. So, and seeing many people unthinkingly assume he'd have a completely normal, routine heterosexual relationship without question -- uhhh I don't like that!!!
Like, Hobie is very clearly attractive. He's like 6'5", a guitarist, and punk. Let's be real, people of any gender are gonna be flirting with him, whether he's into it or not. He without a doubt gets flirted at all the time.
I think he'd love someone who cuts the bullshit and is like "You're really cute. I've got the biggest crush on you."
Not in a pushy way, but a relaxed way.
But I hardly ever see the x-reader advances being initiated by the reader. Why? It can be really nice to take the confidence to ask someone out and they say yes.
In fact, a lot of x-readers are written demure, passive, and down-right unhealthy in their ability to defend themselves and stand alone. So many are based off the x reader needing Hobie for some reason, whether it be confidence, or protection, or for him to teach them something.
Never Hobie needing the reader for something. Never Hobie being the one to express emotion and need comfort.
Which is funny, because Hobie can show emotions like anger, which he does in the comics. That's NEVER brought up in fics. In no fic do we have the reader witness Hobie hitting someone with a guitar or kicking them in the face. Which Hobie does do.
No, that's too violent for the romanticized fandom of Hobie. He has to be the good boyfriend to the shy girlfriend.
And I feel like there's a reason many of these x-readers are written this way - is heteronormativity and a dash of misogyny-flavored sexism involved??? maybe.
Especially with x fem readers, feminine people are always expected to be passive and submissive. Women in the real world are expected to mute their advances and 'be coy' for the sake of sexist 'respectability'.
We're taught that 'giving them the eyes' is (somehow??) an 'advance'. Or that you have to wait to be asked out or else you're 'too forward'.
[Insert Barbie Movie Monologue here]
Personally, I think Hobie would be SO refreshed by a girl who comes up to him and is like "Hey, are you busy on Friday? Do you wanna meet me then? I wanna go on a date with you."
Because, realistically 95% of the people in the Hobie fandom - including me - would probably be too nervous to even speak a sentence to Hobie.
So for someone to approach him directly, state their intentions, and be so open to potential rejection, that's impressive - I think he'd LOVE that shit!!!
I think it's a nice juxtaposition to have him with someone who diverges from the 'demure ideal of a girlfriend'.
A girl who walks around like Jessica Drew. Walks in the room like "My man is SEXY AF and he about to walk in so LOOK. BE JEALOUS."
I imagine so many people around him try to act like they DON'T like Hobie when they clearly do - and he can tell. So to have someone who isn't hiding it is a kind of candidness that differs from it all.
So often are women forced into the passive role of waiting to be 'chosen'. Fuck that, you want him, go get him.
Hobie, Romance, and Labels
I also think Hobie would REALLY like a partner who knows what they want.
I always see people be like 'Hobie doesn't like labels!! He wants to keep it casual!' or 'Nooo he was kidding about the labels thing - he'd love a committe-'
WHO SAYS HE'D BE THE ONE DEFINING THE SITUATION????????? WHO SAID HE GETS THE LAST SAY???!!!!!
I feel like Hobie would go fucking NUTS for a girl who is straight up like "yeah I'm just trying to fuck. Are you okay with that?" or "I like what we've got going on. I'm not looking for anything serious, but let's keep going."
Or a partner that is very clear about their labels. A person who's like "I like you but if you're not trying to be exclusive I'm gonna get a move on." Because he's not gonna have you out here looking DUMB, people better know you're in the mfing picture.
That's some grown ass shit! It shows she knows what she wants and that she's not wavering on it, even for him. He's with it. I don't think Hobie would be down to be like "I'm ur boyfriend now" OR "I'm ONLY down for fucking lol srry'.
She gets a say too. And she should be clear on what she wants.
If she's the one to take the initiative and name the game - that's great for him. He's down for whatever, what is it that YOU wanna do??
Hobie, Romance, and Intimacy (like for the grown folks 18+) __________________________________
🔞
In a LOT of fic and especially SMUT, it's always Hobie making the advances, or at least initiating them. In society, women are taught that's how is, that being sexually 'aggressive' and proactive - not just SUGGESTIVE - is inappropriate.
Wait till Hobie slaps your ass, then the smut could start. Wait till Hobie kisses you, then there's romance.
Nah, I'm the one smacking his ass. I'm the one pulling his belt loop saying Come 'ere. What if I'm the one who wants to pull him down for a first kiss, huh??? I gotta wait??
Even in dialogue-
In a lot of fics Hobie can talk as raunchy as ever, but the woman can't say 'pussy'? Hobie can say three sentences straight about how my coochie feel but the reader only gets to moan submissive requests back??
Can the dirty talk be two-sided? Because women should be allowed to be vocal in their pleasure.
Hobie can tell you he wants you to suck his dick, but when's the reader gonna say "Come eat this pussy like you mean it." HM??????
In fics the reader can only be suggestive - in order to bait him into initiating, like sending him a suggestive picture or throwing a bra on stage. But it's hardly ever the other way around. With the reader being the one to say 'Enough of the teasing, we fucking NEOW.'
Because in our society, a guy slipping a girl's shirt off to get the scene going is hot. But a woman going for a guys belt before he begins to undress her - nooo, that's too forward.
Maybe Hobie wants to feel like the sexy, desired, sought after one.
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Hobie, Romance and Feminism
Let it be known: Hobie loves people who are socially educated!!!!
If you can look at him and explain what anarchism actually is - like in a politcal theory sense - I think he'd be impressed, because you're seeing through the 'pseudo-rockstar' persona he puts on.
Most if not all of his actions are choice are driven by political action, so having a partner educated in things like anarchy or communism just makes sense with him. Hobie cares about stuff like that, and actually goes out of his way to study and live in line with those ideals.
That includes feminism!!!
I think Hobie would love a girlfriend who is invested in feminism, cares about it, and thinks about it in her decision making.
A woman that is educated about her oppression and how to combat it, and purposefully goes against the strict stereotype labeled on women - especially feminine women - as an act of protest.
A girl who can and will defend herself, go off on, or put a sexist pig in their place. You can't tell me he wouldn't be into that.
Social movements of the oppressed are super important to Hobie, and I think feminism is the same, but I never see it mentioned.
I definitely think that Hobie would have a clear understanding of his privilege as a man and how that effects relationships.
I can see him being like "I'd never propose." Not because he hates labels, but because he acknowledges that for centuries marriage was used as a financial and social transaction to oppress and control women and their bodies, and he doesn't want to be involved in that.
Hit him with that "Same - the gold and diamond rings are trash anyway. Both materials being mined and pillaged in African nations for centuries at the expense of the indigenous populations really puts me off it."
He'd wanna somehow find a way to marry you without marrying you you know what i mean
Hobie loves feminism and feminists. Give him a 70's bra-burning feminism so help me god. He was alive for Roe v. Wade passing (1973), he KNOWS about feminism and probably knows many outspoken feminists.
Hobie, Romance and Individuality
You know what I don't like?
Headcanons or fics that be like "You and Hobie NEVER disagree or argue. Never ever, you always talk it out."
Like...Bullshit. I'm sorry but I don't think it's very realistic.
Hobie is a very opinionated too. He's very outspoken and when it comes to topics, and he usually knows exactly where he stands. I think, without a doubt he'd care what his partner thinks too.
Asking them about a record that's playing, or what they think of a movie they saw in the past, or a new political issue going on. He'd absolutely ask, because he cares. He's interested.
If if ya'll are never disagreeing that means:
Either you agree with his opinion all the time without fail or exception OR
You're biting your tongue around him
I don't think one is very realistic in terms of things. You can't like every song your boyfriend likes. You can't like every movie he shows you, or agree on EVERY political issue. That's not how people are.
And for two - if you're biting your tongue around him, he'll notice.
Yes, Hobie is a very emotionally intelligent person and extremely compassionate. But he's also very strong in his morals, thoughts, and beliefs. He doesn't budge.
If you're biting your tongue, I'd imagine he'd be like "You wanna say something." or "Whatever you're thinking just say it." cause he can see it in your face.
He's not trying to put you on the spot, he just wants to know what you're thinking.
When you explain what you're thinking, he's probably gonna wanna hear why, and respond, etc etc.
Hobie is a very individualistic person, and I think he'd be drawn to someone who is as well. Someone who is solid in their opinions and personhood enough to express them.
It leads to interesting conversation and knowing each other deeper -It's a form of intimacy.
If you watch a film with him and don't like it, he's gonna ask why. Did you not like the theme? Was the dialogue bad? What part did you think sucked the most, he thought x, y, z. What do you think about the part he disliked, did you notice a,b,c?
I feel like Hobie would want to know his partner deeply, and he'd care and love the things that make them different from each other.
Including differing opinions.
Discussions and debates aren't bad. Discussing something and getting heated defending your point can be really fun and stimulating, if it's with someone you care about and the two parties are mature and not assholes.
Tell him why you think he's wrong about something - he wants an excuse to talk more about his opinion. INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGE HIM DONT JUST AGREE.
Along with being very individualistic, Hobie is very independent. He refused to rely on the Society for their watches - he made his own. So I think the next important thing to him is:
Hobie, Romance and Independence
I like the idea of Hobie having a partner that has their own place and is committed to that, and their space.
Or a partner that emotionally supports him!!
95% of the time, he's the one asking what's wrong, or holding reader, or comforting them.
Can we get hectic bf and organized girlfriend energy?? A gf where he says plans during missions and she's like "What are you thinking? You're gonna get us killed."
A gf that soothes HIM when he gets angry - cause comic Hobie GETS angry, especially after a fight.
Give me ONE, ONE fic where he's drunk coming from a pub and READER has to deal with drunk Hobie and put him to bed.
Hobie is ALWAYS expected to take care of himself, and the people around him. He takes pride in this and he's good at it. But why should he have to do it all the time?
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In general,
Hobie is a confident person. He knows what he wants, and how to handle himself, and how to approach people and get respect just by being himself. He's assured, and outspoken, and VERY independent. He does what he wants, when he wants and lets you know when it happens
I think pairing him with a confident, assured, outspoked, independent person is only natural. I think him having a relationship with a personality like his would be a ROCK SOLID one.
There's be no fics like 'Groupies were bullying you' because his she would be like "Sis, if I swing on you he isn't gonna hold me back so be careful."
I want a reader that when they do that trope of 'A girl was flirting in front of him making you insecure and uncomfortable' - The reader squashes it right there. Like "Girl, I know you see me standing here. You know we're together. Cut the cute shit!!"
I'm tired of fics taking me for an insecure, submissive, demure, sexually innocent, wimp of a babydoll girlfriend that needs to be babied at every turn. There's nothing wrong with being shy and demure, but when it's all you're offering it's not gonna cut it.
Especially not for Hobie Brown.
Let the tall, dark, actively oppressed black man be the one to vent, or be held, or romanced, and spoken sweetly too. There's so many comfort fics, but not many of them consider Hobie's own trauma - and how a relationship could include that.
Hobie Brown deserves more.
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If you wanna know how I use this to write a non-conventional relationship for Hobie, that's below this break.
Okay so I'mma leave it here but if you read this far, thank you!!!! I be SO pissed when fics be talking me (Y/N) as a punk (in the wimpy sense not the Hobie sense). Like...nah I wouldve said something in a lot of situations. Irk my last nerve. Like the one where the girl PINCHES you??? Like?? Nah I we would've been fighting, I'm sorry this is unrealistic
Alsooo the section below is about my Spidersona Disco-Spider and how I encorporated all of this into her creation- because I wanted to write a sona who subtly defied gender roles while still being feminine. So if you wanna read there thank you so much, and if not, thanks for reading this far! He's a pic of Hobie in thanks!
[If you wanna check out Part 2 for direct examples, how to write NCRs, and a more in depth look into Disco and Hobie - check it out here]
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DiscoSpider Diane and The Great Groupie Act [How I use all of this to a write a feminist Spidersona and a non-conventional relationship]
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Diane is a HUGE Hobie Groupie - and that's kinda of her main thing.
She runs the Hobie Brown Fanclub on campus, attends all his shows, and wears his guitar pick. She's into him and she's not afraid to show it.
I wanted to write Diane as a purposeful groupie, one who is fine with the title, and even leans into it. Because a lot of the time - and in a lot of fics including guitarists - 'groupie' is seen as a negative thing.
Like K-pop stans, being a 'groupie' - and openly expressing your romantic interest in a hot guy is seen as desperation.
But I wanted to write her as one in spite of this. To swap 'desperation' for unwavering boldness. A girl with the motto 'Closed mouths don't get fed'.
And much like Hobie uses the 'typical punk' label to disarm others, I wanted Diane to mirror that - in the opposite direction.
Diane is a self-proclaimed groupie. And because of that, many (mainly misogynists) assume that she can't think for herself - or at all. And Diane can use that to her advantage.
If Miguel and Jess really believe she only cares about conversations involving Hobie, then they'll talk like she isn't there. And she can listen. If it looks like she's hanging all over him, no one realizes if she's slipping him information.
And it also helps in their relationship.
They both enjoy their privacy.
HQ prohibits relationships between Spidey-people. It's an anomaly waiting to happen - and they make sure to keep a close eye out for it. Plus with Jess breathing down her neck, it's much easier for Diane and Hobie to just keep it underwraps.
In comes the Groupie persona.
No one actually expects the groupie to get the guy. She's desperate, and he's the player guitarist. Plus, if they were dating she couldn't be a 'groupie' right? They wouldn't make sense, would it?
They let people make their own assumptions. By calling herself a groupie, suddenly people think there's no possible way there's something going on, and they don't look closer.
This also allows them the freedom of no labels. Are they boyfriend and girlfriend? Nah she's his groupie. Quit asking questions.
All of this allows me to write Disco in a way that connects back to everything in this post.
By calling herself a 'Groupie' suddenly Diane can subvert expectations of affection, avoid the pressures of labels, and control her image and the amount of information she lets on to people
That in turn helps me write their relationship in a nonconventional way - a way that challenges misogyny around affection and reclaims a sexist fan trope for something more empowering.
Sure, the concept seems silly at first. The ditsy, bubbly, party girl on campus, but I wanted there to be a reason and drive behind it.
Disco-Spider Diane is exactly who she wants to be, an unapologetic, outspoken disco-girl. One that's highly educated and knows her shit.
And also a huge groupie.
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If you've read this far, thank you so much. It genuinely means a lot to me! This is reaaaaaallly long.
[Part 2 here]
Now how about you take this photo of Hobie and we both pretend like me writing this is normal well-adjusted behavior okay? okay
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Bye.
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volturiprincess · 5 months
Text
You kill me
Caius Volturi x Vampire mate
Summary: Mated to the Ruthless Volturi King Warnings: Language, mentions of death, Angst, Caius internal thoughts 🤭 A/N: I kept changing my mind of how I wanted to write hence why it took me like 2 weeks to work on it, there will be a part two to this. Also this was inspired by the song "Me Matas" by Eslabon Armado, at this point its like a mini series of One-Shots being inspired by this group. Second A/N in the end. Enjoy :) Word Count: 4k+ (Didn't realize it was that long)
Here's part 2. (finally)
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(I loved him in this era, gold is his color, but he looks so good in red also)
“Well brother it appears you have found your mate”
I looked up at Aro who was looking at Caius. Mate? Whoever it is. I am so sorry for them. I have heard stories about Caius being this ruthless king who had no sympathy for human life, much to what my twin brother Carlisle has told me but he did say that Caius did have a love for the arts. Still I never had the chance to even meet the kings or anyone in Volterra, from the time my brother was part of this coven I was in South America exploring as always. The only reason why I'm even in Volterra was because Edward decided he wanted to kill himself for the reason he thought that Bella was dead. Alice brought me along not really telling me why, only said she needed my help.
So now I am here in the throne room staring at the other three kings. I could feel the blonde one staring at me but I avoided eye contact. Aro with his creepy like gaze swiftly moved toward me and my family,
“It is an honor to finally meet the infamous sister of Carlisle, may I?”
He extended his hand and I knew what he wanted. Carlisle told me about Aro, so I obliged without wanting to put the kids in danger. With one touch I relived every thought and memory I have ever had, it was strange seeing everything I have been through flash before my eyes. I pulled my hand away when I heard a slight hiss. It didn't come from Aro but it did leave me curious. 
“Magnifico! You will make a wonderful mate to my brother and a perfect addition to this coven”
My eyes widened at his words, what does he mean mate to his brother. ME. Since when? How?
“I beg to pardon?”
“It appears you are the mate to my brother Caius”
No way, the mate to the blonde, I was just badwording him a minute ago and now I'm his mate. Instant karma for me. My eyes then wandered slowly to the blonde and he already had his gaze on me, just from his face I can tell he was displeased with the unraveling events. I felt a small hand grab me and I looked slightly into the eyes of the one I was the closest to, Alice. 
“You knew didn't you?”
She looked down and I knew I got my answer, I looked up at Edward who had a flabbergasted look and cling more to Bella. Now I'm starting to think if Carlisle knew about this, did Alice tell him and Esme, my eyes widened slightly at the thought that I might never see my family again. I didn't even want to look at anyone in this room, not even the piercing blood red eyes that belong to my now mate. Aro was the one to break the silence
“Well with that cleared why don't we go on with the plan”
I totally forgot why we were here, I also forgot that Aro was on the verge to kill Bella and as much as I don't really like her, I might as well do one more thing for my family 
“That won't be necessary Aro”
The raven head looked at me with a look of curiosity 
“Why’s that?”
“What if we made a deal?”
I could literally see the spark or interest in his eyes, he looked like a child who was going to be rewarded with a prize for behaving. He nodded toward me to continue
“You spear my family and I stay”
What surprise me was Caius was the one to speak up next
“No deal, that human is a liability, she knows to much”
I looked at the blonde with narrowed eyes
“What if my family promised to change her soon?”
Nobody dared to talk but Aro piped in
“If they follow through with the promise then we will allow it, but you remain here and they go”
I nodded and then instantly a guard who had such elegance that would put the Greek gods themselves to shame led my family out and I was about to reach out for them when a beast of a man grabbed me. I looked up at the giant and my initial thought for a minute was “Why is he good looking?How can he be so tall and…have muscle in all the right places, again the greek gods themselves would be jealous”, That hiss sound was heard again and the giant let go of me. I looked around the throne room for where that hiss came from but everyone seemed to stand in the same place as before. Aro gave instruction to the twins who I remember my brother told me about, Alec and Jane, to take me to Caius private chambers. At the mention of that I almost wanted to make a run for it. The two led me away and I felt Caius' gaze on me the whole time as I was leaving the room.
Eventually I was left alone in the room, I had to admit it was a lovely room, it did seem fit for a king but also for a man of art. I felt strange being in his room alone, I don't even know the vampire and now I have to be with him for eternity. This is also unfair, why couldn't I at least say goodbye to my brothers kids, I might never see them or my brother again, I just got back from traveling and was set to settle down with my brothers coven for once. I only got 5 years with them. Maybe it's my fault for always wanting to explore and be on my own but life was cut short for me and I never got that chance when I was human.
Mine and Carlisle’s father forbade me to go out without my brother by me, I couldn't even go down the street to get a loaf of bread for dinner alone. Not that I don't love spending time with my
brother, but I always had that curiosity to go be alone and explore the world. Until that fateful day of my ‘death’, it happened after Carlisle was pronounced ‘dead’, and from that father was more strict than ever, I never got a chance to get a breath of fresh air, day and night at home; cleaning, cooking, reading, sewing, and etc. It got repetitive very quickly, so I decided one night to run away. That night I knew my father was away on another vampire hunt, so I knew I would be alone. I packed a small bag and went out by the back door. So far my journey was good, I decided to head off to York, I read books about this town and the gothic architecture was a must see. 
I had a good 10 miles away from my home, when it happened, I was walking along this path in the woods when two random men came out of the blue and took advantage of me. They left me there barely breathing and in my growing cold blood. I was minutes away from dying when a familiar face came into my hazyview, I knew who it was and before I could even say his name everything went black. It was not until days later I woke up in a small clearing and Carlisle came into view and explained everything to me. I was glad to see my twin alive but at the same time I was not thrilled with the idea that I had to drink human blood. Me and Carlisle with time discovered the concept of drinking animal blood and that helped. Soon after we were accustomed to the life of vampires we parted ways. I wanted to travel but he wanted to spend time in Italy. 
At this moment  I wished I stayed with my brother this whole time but then that meant I would have met my mate sooner and would have not met my brother’s coven. My mate…I was always curious to find out who they would be, I could see how my brother and Esme looked at each other, or how my brother’s children looked at their significant other, even Edward for once looked happy. I never knew I would even find them, I spent a lot of time alone and didn't really think about settling down or even finding my mate in this lifetime. I thought for sure I was destined for solitude, but it appears I was destined to be with the ruthless Volturi King. 
Speaking about him I didn't even notice he came into the room and was seated in one of his Victorian burgundy styled sofas. I blinked a couple of times to make sure I was not seeing things but he spoke up 
“You should really learn to be aware of your surroundings, I even gave you a kiss on the forehead and you didn't even notice or flinched”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I saw he had a slight smirk on his face, he was teasing me. I didn't even know whether to be surprised or pissed at this, in different circumstances I would have joked back. In a blink of an eye he was in front of me, towering over me, I would have looked up at him but I wanted to stand my ground. I felt him lift my chin up and I faced his bright ruby red eyes that seemed so enchanting. 
I tried to avoid eye contact but his eyes were like a lure, once you got a glimpse there was no way to look away. He started to lean in until he was inches away from my lips, “keep it together y/n, keep it together y/n”. But then Blondie whispered “Con tempo” and he was gone. I was relieved but at the same time I had a hint of intrigued.
Flashback….
Year 1700 – From the stories I have heard from the townspeople and from our father, they made the vampire life seem so horrible, that a vampire is only seen as a monster. But I have never felt such a peace like state, from being controlled, to losing my brother, to my ‘death’, I finally have forever to be free with my brother. And as of right now me and him are laying in an open field in the outskirts of Italy, gazing at the stars as we have been doing the past 30 years already. 
“They had it all wrong, did they not, lyle?”
“I can not say I disagree but you have a point, I would've never pictured our life to turn like this”
Life really has never been better than this moment. I appreciated the times me and Carlisle would spend at night talking about the latest book we read or how we want to further our education in medicine and the arts. I want to travel more but it seems he has other plans. I can sense it.
“Just say it, I know there is something”
In the corner of my eye I saw that he took an unnecessary breath. I knew what he was about to say would hurt me, he always did that when he had to break bad news to me, even when we were little, he always acted like the big brother.
“I was confronted by a coven of Vampires, they call themselves the Volturi, they been around for millennials, they favor the arts and science, and they have more knowledge than any human could ever dream of knowing and they have an impressive collection of books on everything, they offered us a spot into their coven, I said I would talk it out with you first”
I knew he made his decision, I knew this is something he has always wanted to do, he wanted to know more about the background knowledge of Vampires and more on old medicine and arts. Even that intrigued me but that would mean I would have to settle down and live out my life in some coven and stay in one place for eternity.
“Carlisle…you know I would never want to stop you from your education, I was the one who persuaded you to have an interest in the medical field, so I'm not going to be one to hold you back, I would rather die than to stop you from this.”
“I figured you would not want to join, I thought that maybe I would be able to convince you. I don't like being separated from you, your everything I have left of family”
I looked at him with a saddened look
“I know Lyle, but you know I don't like to be contained in one place forever, I need to be out and about, exploring and having the life I never got the chance to have”
He sits up looking out in the open field, I know he really wants me to join him, and I want to but there's still so much to explore still. Sitting up also I extend a hand toward him and a Lily flower bloomed within my hand, he looks at it with awe 
“A Lily Flower? Mothers favorite…”
I gave him a small smile “It took me a while to learn how to create it, still not used to having this ability but I only managed to create a Tulip, next time I see you I will show you a whole garden of flowers”
End of Flashback.
We had that conversation over 300 years ago already. Even when we finally did reunite and I lived with him and his coven, I didnt show him what I was working on with the time I was away from him. I am actually outside in the Volturi gardens creating a whole new garden with fresh new flowers that are both rare and exotic but also some common ones. I think what fascinated Aro about my ability is that I can create poisonous flowers that can knock out even the strongest of vampires out cold (I accidentally knocked him out the first month I was here for 5 days straight). And that was already 5 months ago since that “accident”, from that Aro just let me be in the garden alone and doesn't dare interrupt me unless I request his audience. 
With my short time here, I actually became close to Marcus. Even though it took a while to get him to talk to me, I  caught him in the gardens one day and I saw he was overlooking a dying yellow lily. I instantly healed it, he turned to me slowly with a very small but very pleased look, he mentioned later that it was his late wife's favorite flower. He reminded me of Carlisle, we tend to talk a lot about plants and philosophy, we even had small arguments on certain philosophies. With Aro from the accident I'm still wary about him, he creeps me out sometimes and when he does that one laugh I don't know whether to hold in a laugh or wonder how such a laugh can come out of him. With the elite guards, we are slowly building trust with each other. Just the other day I managed to make Felix and Demetri laugh when I accidentally made an “erotic" looking plant. They reminded me of Emmett and Jasper. As with Jane and Alec, they are still wary of me, but I can see they are starting to warm up to me.
And how can I forget Caius? Having him as a mate has been interesting. I don't see him as often but when I do, he does a tactic of a quick and go. I could be doing something as reading a book in the King's private library when he appears and leaves a longing of his aura and then vanishes. It frustrates me so I decided to just ignore him. 
Caius POV:
As soon as Jane came in with our “guest”, I felt a strange pull and was overcomed by the strong smell of roses. It was an addicting smell, I must know who it's coming from. I notice the human and internally I'm thinking “all this dramatic antics for this human? This Cullen boy was all set to end his immortal life because of her?” even I'm not that dramatic. I scanned the rest of the entourage and one of them reassembled as a human sized fairy, she’s almost the polar opposite of Jane. I didn't pay much attention to her for it being one of them caught me completely off guard. My mate… she's breathtaking, just from her looks I can tell she has an eye for art like me. Sadly her eyes are gold like the rest of the Cullen coven but that can easily be changed with time. It was not until Aro said she is Carlisle's twin sister that I lost it internally.
Why is life so unfair? Millenniums of existing and waiting for my mate to come along to find out she's the sister to the one person I absolutely despise . Out of everyone why a Cullen? The minute that “Vegetarian Doctor” left my respect for him vanished. But why is she avoiding eye contact with me? What has that Carlisle said about me? Great, I barely find out she's my mate and she hates me. Why would she hate me? I like to think I'm straightforward and speak my mind without hesitation, what is there not to like about me? I'm also quite dashing myself if I must say, I take a great deal of myself and I at least don't have that weird laugh Aro has.
As if on cue I heard Aro do that said strange laugh and I was snapped out of my thoughts to see Aro was holding her hand to read her thoughts, without a thought I hissed in displeasure. She's my mate, nobody can touch her but I. Have I always been possessive? Didn't think of myself as the possessive type, I'm just being reasonable. I must know what Aro has seen from her, I want to know everything there is to know about her, everything she has seen and done. Hopefully she has not been with another man or even a woman, I'm not judgemental, but it seems I also have a jealous side. What is wrong with me today? I am suddenly having all of these out of character personality, I blame her. 
When she offered a deal, my anger took over and I said no deal, even if she said she was going to stay. Of course she's going to stay, she's my mate, in no way was I going to let her walk away after I waited millenniums for her. After my little outburst on her Aro said for Felix to take her to my chambers but the way she looked at him when she was grabbed by him made my eye twitch involuntary, I did that hiss sound and Felix immediately let go. 
When the throne room was set for clear I had to go see her up close. When I arrived at my private chambers I noticed she was in a trance like state, as if reliving a past memory. Wanting to respect her I waited it out. She did after a while and that is when I striked first, with my speed I was in front of her gazing down on her, she's more beautiful up close. I think I might like the color amber now, the way her eyes are so full of light and warmth is so wonderful to witness. I leaned in thinking I might kiss her but I decided to tease her. I want her to be the one to break first even if I'm already secretly hopelessly falling for her.
Y/n POV
It has been a very confusing couple of weeks. I think I'm conflicted with whether I should keep ignoring Caius by not being flirty in return like he has been with me or should I just reciprocate the same behavior toward him. Trust me I do want to get out of this weird faze we are dealing with but the way that man is so bipolar sometimes is astonishing to witness. Our latest incident resulted in Felix and Demetri carrying me out of the library while Aro and Marcus consulted with Caius. The funny thing is Caius walked in all suave and flirty.
“You know I always find it difficult to look at you without falling in love with you”
Not wanting to give him a satisfaction that his words made me feel a certain way, I brushed him off
“So don't look at me, it's that simple”
“That simple? Have you no idea that when I look at you, all of the beautiful work you do in the gardens is put to shame with your beauty, how your voice is sweeter than the richest of blood, or how your eyes have conquered me?” he scoffs “As if that's simple amore”
I shut my book and set it on the table already getting sick and tired of his little suppose clever tactic to get me to confess my undying love to him
“You know you walk in here all suave and seductive or whatever you call this, and then you leave before I can say anything, in the 4 months I have been here, not once have you sat down with me and had a full on conversation with me”
“Well i'm a king, im busy, I have matters to take care of, things you would not know how to deal with”
Now it was my turn to scoff at him
“Busy? With what? I have talked with Marcus and he says you mostly are in the throne room looking at old text that I bet you have read at least a thousand times so far, your just avoiding me because i'm a Cullen, I am well aware you despise my brother and his coven”
That for sure shut him up but unfortunately what I said fuelled his anger.
“How dare you speak to me like that! Conspiring behind my back with my own brother! I have done nothing but be patient with you and been a great mate to you!?”
How can he say such a thing about being a great mate when there are times I don't see him for days and when he does appear it's only for a couple of minutes.
“You are unbelievable, you being a great mate to me? How can you say that when one) I don't even see you that often. two) you haven't even bothered to talk about actual things instead you seduce me and three) you just assume every time you flirt with me that I like it or I will return the favor. Well news flash I don't like it, maybe my brother was right about you”
Using his vampire speed he was up in my face in an instant glaring down on me, I might not be able to read his thoughts but just with his eyes you can see how pissed he is.
“Your brother!! Are you also conspiring with him about me behind my back! Some mate you are to me. I have been patient with you, I have been all sweet talk with you. How am I supposed to know what you like and don't like if you never speak up, I was starting to think you are mute”
I could now feel my own anger rising at his words
“Well maybe if you actually took time in your supposed busy day to sit down and talk to me I would start to open up to you and be more affectionate with you but I never say anything because you always vanish in a blink of an eye. Your so childish for doing that, hiding from someone who is a whole foot shorter than you, pathetic”
In all of my decades of existing as a Vampire, I have never been caught off guard until now. I was in a literal chokehold as I was kissed deeply by Caius. WAIT he's kissing me? H-how did this even happen? I was absolutely horrified by the turn of events. My reflexes finally kicked in I pushed him away roughly from me and I took several steps away from him. How dare he kiss me like that without my permission? Who the fuck does he think he is to even do such an action on me? To add to that, the freaking blonde had a small smirk but his eyes held a bit of pain and shock. I haven't the slightest idea of what to do next, I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy the kiss but I didn't want our first kiss to be like this. 
We just stood in silence, I wanted to say something but I don't know what exactly, I must have been too deep in thought because when I looked up he was gone. 
A/N: Ooooo cliffhanger, I had to do it, part two will come out at some point (to be honest I have not started to work on it yet but I have a basic idea of how it will end).
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correlance · 7 months
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Paradise Lost: How John Milton's 1667 work influenced "Hazbin Hotel"
I've been thinking about why the "fruit of knowledge" in Hazbin Hotel is depicted as an apple, as opposed to another fruit that would've been more accurate to the Middle East during the Fall of Man, as well as how Paradise Lost by John Milton (1667) influenced the show.
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Per one source:
"Because the Hebrew Bible describes the forbidden fruit only as 'peri', the term for general fruit, no one knows [what exactly type of fruit it was]. It could be a fruit that doesn't exist anymore. Historians have speculated it may have been any one of these fruits: pomegranate, mango, fig, grapes, etrog or citron, carob, pear, quince, or mushroom."
Per Wikipedia:
"The pseudepigraphic Book of Enoch describes the tree of knowledge: 'It was like a species of the Tamarind tree, bearing fruit which resembled grapes extremely fine; and its fragrance extended to a considerable distance. I exclaimed, How beautiful is this tree, and how delightful is its appearance!' (1 Enoch 31:4)."
In Jewish and Islamic traditions, the "fruit of knowledge" is commonly identified with grapes. The Zohar explains that Noah attempted (but failed) to rectify the sin of Adam by using grape wine for holy purposes. Today, the "Noah grape" is still used to make white wine.
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Furthermore:
"The association of the pomegranate with knowledge of the underworld as provided in the Ancient Greek legend of Hades and Persephone may also have given rise to an association with knowledge of the 'otherworld', tying-in with knowledge that is forbidden to mortals. It is also believed Hades offered Persephone a pomegranate to force her to stay with him in the underworld for 6 months of the year. Hades is the Greek god of the underworld, and the Bible states that whoever eats the forbidden fruit shall die."
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So, how then did the apple become the foremost symbol of the "fruit of knowledge"? You can partly thank Paradise Lost by English poet John Milton, a work which the lore of Hazbin Hotel is based off of.
Milton published the book in 1667, a time when the hedonistic Restoration era was in full swing. The exiled King Charles II was restored to the throne as King of England in 1660, and was a party animal, with dozens of mistresses, and nicknamed both the "playboy prince" and "Old Rowley", the latter after his favorite lustful stallion.
However, the association of the "fruit of knowledge" began with a Latin pun long before Milton immortalized the association in Paradise Lost. Per the linked article above by Nina Martyris for NPR:
"In order to explain, we have to go all the way back to the fourth century A.D., when Pope Damasus ordered his leading scholar of scripture, Jerome, to translate the Hebrew Bible into Latin. Jerome's path-breaking, 15-year project, which resulted in the canonical 'Vulgate', used the Latin spoken by the common man. As it turned out, the Latin words for evil and apple are the same: 'malus'.
[...] When Jerome was translating the 'Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil', the word 'malus' snaked in. A brilliant but controversial theologian, Jerome was known for his hot temper, but he obviously also had a rather cool sense of humor.
'Jerome had several options,' says Robert Appelbaum, a professor of English literature at Sweden's Uppsala University. 'But he hit upon the idea of translating 'peri' as 'malus', which in Latin has two very different meanings. As an adjective, 'malus' means 'bad' or 'evil'. As a noun it seems to mean an apple, in our own sense of the word, coming from the very common tree now known officially as the 'Malus pumila'. So Jerome came up with a very good pun.'
The story doesn't end there. 'To complicate things even more,' says Appelbaum, 'the word 'malus' in Jerome's time, and for a long time after, could refer to any fleshy seed-bearing fruit. A pear was a kind of 'malus'. So was the fig, the peach, and so forth.'
Which explains why Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel fresco features a serpent coiled around a fig tree. But the apple began to dominate Fall artworks in Europe after the German artist Albrecht Dürer's famous 1504 engraving depicted the First Couple counterpoised beside an apple tree. It became a template for future artists such as Lucas Cranach the Elder, whose luminous Adam and Eve painting is hung with apples that glow like rubies.
Milton, then, was only following cultural tradition. But he was a renowned Cambridge intellectual fluent in Latin, Greek and Hebrew, who served as secretary for foreign tongues to Oliver Cromwell during the Commonwealth. If anyone was aware of the 'malus' pun, it would be him, and yet he chose to run it with it. Why?
Appelbaum says that Milton's use of the term 'apple' was ambiguous. 'Even in Milton's time the word had two meanings: either what was our common apple, or, again, any fleshy seed-bearing fruit. Milton probably had in mind an ambiguously named object with a variety of connotations as well as denotations, most but not all of them associating the idea of the apple with a kind of innocence, though also with a kind of intoxication, since hard apple cider was a common English drink.'
It was only later readers of Milton, says Appelbaum, who thought of 'apple' as 'apple', and not any seed-bearing fruit. For them, the forbidden fruit became synonymous with the 'malus pumila'. As a widely read canonical work, 'Paradise Lost' was influential in cementing the role of apple in the Fall of Man story."
To tie this back into John Milton's relationship with King Charles II of England, as mentioned, Milton originally served Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England, and the English Commonwealth, which was formed with the overthrow and execution of King Charles I on 30 January 1649, following the bloody English Civil War (1642 – 1651).
The King's two sons - the newly-christened King Charles II, the elder, and James, Duke of York (King James II), the younger - fled into exile on the European continent. However, with the death of Oliver Cromwell on 3 September 1658 came the 2-year-long dissolution of the English Commonwealth, and the restoration of the monarchy.
As for Milton himself, we can look to an article by Bill Potter.
Milton, born on 9 December 1608, was around 51-52 years old when King Charles II was restored to the throne. He attended Christ's Church, Cambridge in his youth, and mastered at least six languages, as well as history and philosophy; making him, perhaps, the most knowledgeable poet in history. He spent more than a year travelling across Europe, conversing with and learning from intellectuals, linguists, poets, and artists, including the famous Galileo Galilei.
However, Milton was a controversial figure of his time, being unafraid to criticize institutions of authority; arguing that "divorce was Biblical", for which he was routinely condemned; joining the Puritans; penning the Areopagitica, a treatise on liberty in favor of Parliament and the Roundhead rebels, during the reign of King Charles I, arguing that the King must be held accountable by the people; and agreed with and justified the murder of King Charles I, for which Parliament hired him in 1649 as a propagandist and correspondence secretary to foreign powers, on account of his fiery manifestos against "the man".
The collapse of the Commonwealth with the death of Oliver Cromwell in 1658 did not deter Milton from continued political writing against the monarchy and the new public sentiment that brought about its Restoration under King Charles II in 1660. On the contrary, Milton - now totally blind, having lost his eyesight by the age of 44 in 1652, a decade earlier - began writing Paradise Lost in 1661, and spent the next six years dictating the work to transcribers.
A supporter of regicide, Milton was also forced into exile himself, and faked his own death, as Charles refused to pardon - and sought to execute - any of those directly involved with his father's murder. Milton's friends held a mock funeral for Milton on 27 August 1660, just months after the coronation of King Charles II on 23 April 1660.
King Charles II commented that he "applauded his [Milton's] policy in escaping the punishment of death [execution for treason] by a reasonable show of dying", but insisted on a public spectacle nonetheless by having Milton's writings burned by the public hangman.
After eventually obtaining a general pardon from King Charles II, Milton was imprisoned, and released, likely due to political friends in high places. He died, aged 64, in 1674. His theological views were sometimes considered heterodox by the best Puritans, and his political views came close to getting him executed on several occasions. His poetry, however, has endured as some of the greatest works in the English language, especially Paradise Lost; much of his greatest work was written during his 22 years of complete blindness.
One of the main factors in King Charles II deciding to grant a pardon to Milton was, ironically, Paradise Lost. While originally written by Milton as a scathing criticism of King Charles II and the monarchy - depicting Lucifer Morningstar as a sympathetic rebel against God, with King Charles II claiming that is right to rule came from "divine ordainment" - Charles II enjoyed the work, and authorized its publication on 20 August 1667. We know this because a 1668 copy of Paradise Lost in royal bindings by Samuel Mearne, bound lovingly in a fine red leather made of goat skins tanned with sumac, and stamped in gold with the royal cypher of King Charles II, was found. The endpapers bore a watermark with the royal arms of Charles II.
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Per one Miltonian scholar: "The most single important event in Milton's life was the event against which he struggled most: the Restoration of Charles II, [and his relationship with the King]. Had it not come, we might have never had Paradise Lost...certainly, we should never have had [it] in [its] present power and significance."
Milton followed up Paradise Lost with Paradise Regained in 1671, three years before his death, with advice for King Charles II, urging the hedonistic Charles to "reign over himself and his passions":
"For therein stands the office of a King, His Honour, Vertue, Merit and chief Praise, That for the Publick all this weight he bears. Yet he who reigns within himself, and rules Passions, Desires, and Fears, is more a King; Which every wise and vertuous man attains: And who attains not, ill aspires to rule Cities of men, or head-strong Multitudes, Subject himself to Anarchy within, Or lawless passions in him which he serves." - John Milton, Paradise Regained, Book II, lines 463-472
To summarize: "If we must have a King back again, my Lord, please try to be a good man, unlike your father, who fell to his pride, [which was also the downfall of Lucifer]."
To quote another source: "Though the passage begins by noting that the office of a King is to bear the weight of public concerns, it is the control of one's private concerns that truly set a King apart as a virtuous character. Indeed, so important is self-command that any wise or virtuous man who attains it is like a king; any king who does not practice [self-command] is nothing more than a mere subject, ruled by anarchy and lawlessness."
Milton's words, too, echo a work written by Charles' grandfather, King James VI/I of Scotland and England: Basilikon Doron ("Royal Gift").
Per Wikipedia:
"'Basilikon Doron' (Βασιλικὸν Δῶρον) means 'royal gift' in Ancient Greek, and was written in the form of a private letter to James' eldest son, Henry, Duke of Rothesay (1594–1612). After Henry's death, James gave it to his second son, Charles, born 1600, later King Charles I. Seven copies were printed in Edinburgh in 1599, and it was republished in London in 1603, when it sold in the thousands.
This document is separated into three books, serving as general guidelines to follow to be an efficient monarch. The first describes a king's duty towards God as a Christian. The second focuses on the roles and responsibilities in office. The third concerns proper behaviour in daily life.
As the first part is concerned with being a good Christian, James instructed his son to love and respect God as well as to fear Him. Furthermore, it is essential to carefully study the Scripture (the Bible) and especially specific books in both the Old and New Testaments. Lastly, he must pray often and always be thankful for what God has given him.
In the second book, James encouraged his son to be a good king, as opposed to a tyrant, by establishing and executing laws as well as governing with justice and equality, such as by boosting the economy. The final portion of the Basilikon Doron focuses on the daily life of a monarch.
All of these guidelines composed an underlying code of conduct to be followed by all monarchs and heads of state to rule and govern efficiently. James assembled these directions as a result of his own experience and upbringing. He, therefore, offered the 'Basilikon Doron' ('Royal Gift') to his son, with the hope of rendering him a capable ruler, and perhaps to pass it down to future generations.
Overall, it repeats the argument for the divine right of kings, as set out in 'The True Law of Free Monarchies', which was also written by James. It warns against 'Papists' (Roman Catholics) and derides Puritans, in keeping with his philosophy of following a 'middle path', which is also reflected in the preface to the 1611 King James Bible. It also advocates removing the Apocrypha from the Bible."
King James VI/I further instructed his son and grandson:
"A good monarch must be well acquainted with his subjects, and so it would be wise to visit each of the kingdoms every three years."
"During war or armed conflict, he should choose old-but-good captains to lead an army of young and agile soldiers."
"In the court and the household, [a royal] should carefully select loyal gentlemen and servants to surround him. When the time came to choose a wife, it would be best if she were of the same religion and had a generous estate. However, she must not meddle with governmental politics, but perform her domestic duties."
"As for inheritance, to ensure stability, the kingdom should be left to the eldest son, not divided among all children."
"Lastly, it is most important...that [a royal] would know well his own craft...to properly govern over his subjects. To do so, [one] must study the laws of the kingdom, and actively participate in the council. Furthermore, [one] must be acquainted with mathematics for military purposes, and world history for foreign policy."
"[A royal] must also not drink and sleep excessively. His wardrobe should always be clean and proper, and he must never let his hair and nails grow long. In his writing and speech, he should use honest and plain language."
King James VI/I further supplemented Basilikon Doron with a written treatise titled The True Law of Free Monarchies: Or, The Reciprocal and Mutual Duty Between a Free King and His Natural Subjects.
"It is believed King James VI/I wrote the tract to set forth his idea of absolutist monarchism in clear contrast to the contractarian views espoused by, among others, James' tutor George Buchanan (in 'De Jure Regni apud Scotos'), [which] held the idea that monarchs rule in accordance of some sort of social contract with their people. James saw the divine right of kings as an extension of the apostolic succession, as both not being subjected by humanly laws."
Milton's own Areopagitica was a follow-up on De Jure Regni apid Scotos by George Buchanan, and also to The True Law of Free Monarchies, as well as the idea of the "divine right of kings". It takes its title in part from Areopagitikos (Greek: Ἀρεοπαγιτικός), a speech written by Athenian orator Isocrates in the 4th century BC.
Most importantly, Milton also wrote on the concept of free will: "Milton's ideas were ahead of his time in the sense that he anticipated the arguments of later advocates of freedom of the press by relating the concept of free will, and choice to individual expression and right."
The concept of free will, too, was a major topic explored in Paradise Lost. Per one source: "In 'Paradise Lost', Milton argues that though God foresaw the Fall of Man, he still didn't influence Adam and Eve's free will. [...] God specifically says that he gives his creatures the option to serve or disobey, as he wants obedience that is freely given [or chosen], not forced. Some critics have claimed that the God of the poem undercuts his own arguments; however, Milton did not believe in the Calvinistic idea of 'predestination' (that God has already decided who is going to Hell and who to Heaven), but he often comes close to describing a Calvinistic God. God purposefully lets Lucifer (Satan) escape Hell, and sneak past Uriel into the Garden of Eden, and basically orchestrates the whole situation so that humanity can be easily ruined by a single disobedient act. In describing the Fall of Man before it happens, God already predicts how he will remedy it, and give greater glory to himself by sending his Son [Jesus Christ] to die, and restore the order of Heaven."
In Hazbin Hotel, Adam also describes the Calvinistic idea of 'predestination', and that "the rules are black and white":
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However, "This possible predestination leads to the theory of the 'fortunate fall', which is based on Adam's delight at learning of the eventual coming of the Messiah [from his bloodline]. This idea says that God allowed the Fall of Man, so that he could bring good out of it, possibly more good than would have occurred without the Fall, and be able to show his love and power through the incarnation of his Son. In this way, the free will of Adam and Eve (and Lucifer/Satan) remains basically free, but still fits into God's overarching plan."
However, there is one major flaw with this, and that is that we don't know if Jesus Christ exists within the Hazbin Hotel universe or not. Yet Charlie Morningstar, the daughter of Lucifer Morningstar and Lilith, and the "Princess of Hell", is depicted as a savior-esque figure within the show who, like God in Paradise Lost, encourages lowly sinners to choose obedience to God out of their own free will. More interestingly, Charlie does not come from Adam's bloodline; yet, while Lucifer decries 'free will', Charlie supports 'free will' instead.
Perhaps is is merely because Charlie, being the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith, claims to want to fulfill Lilith's "dream" of humanity being empowered in Hell ("The mind is its own place, it can make Heaven out of Hell, or Hell out of Heaven" - Lucifer, Paradise Lost); however, I think it also stems from Charlie having a genuine belief that 'free will', and people choosing to do good instead of evil, is "good" and "Godly".
True to Paradise Lost, this is also in fulfillment of God's plan; and, according to one fanfiction, why God allowed Charlie to be born to Lucifer and Lilith, so that sinners may be redeemed through Charlie.
For more on differing interpretations of 'free will', I suggest reading: "Free Will and the Diminishing Importance of God's Will: A Study of Paradise Lost and Supernatural" by Kimberly Batchelor (2016)
Excerpt: "'Paradise Lost' –and Milton’s purpose for writing the poem— is rooted deeply in postreformation Arminianism and this is apparent in its employment of free will. Chapter 1 argues that Milton turns to free will as a tool to justify the actions of God. Freedom of choice is God-given, and sets up a morality in which right and wrong are dictated by God. Chapter 2 shows that in 'Supernatural', free will is not given by a higher power; and, in fact, free choice functions as an act of defiance against God's will."
This raises the question: Is 'free will' given by God, using Lucifer as his vessel, in Hazbin Hotel, as in Paradise Lost? Or is 'free will' not given by a higher power; and, in fact, an act of defiance against God?
This brings us back around to our first question: Why is an apple, or 'malus', used to depict the "fruit of knowledge", especially if 'malus' means 'bad or evil', whereas Milton depicts 'free will' as God-given?
Well, for one, Lucifer still chooses to associate himself with apple symbolism and imagery, despite being skeptical of free will:
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Based on the introduction to Episode 1, Charlie also views 'free will' as a gift (Miltonian), whereas Lucifer appears to view it as a curse.
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However, Charlie also notes that it was through the 'gift' of free will that the "root of all evil" entered the world, for if mankind could choose to be good, then they could also choose to be evil ('malus').
John Milton states in Paradise Lost: "Of Man's First Disobedience, and the Fruit Of that Forbidden Tree [malus], whose mortal taste Brought Death (evil, malus) into the World, and all our woe."
Thus, the use of an apple specifically is likely a tie-in to what others have been speculating about a character that series creator Vivienne Medrano (Vivziepop) alluded to a while back: "The Root of All Evil".
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However, "Roo" itself is depicted as possessing the body of a human woman, presumably Eve, the first one to eat the "fruit of knowledge":
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Thus, we can discern that "Malus" likely refers to this character. (Also see: "Maleficent", a name that also uses the root word "mal", "evil".) As for Roo's intentions, if Charlie is "good" - and, if, in fact, Alastor was sent by "Roo" (Eve) - then they may want for Alastor to work on their behalf to "corrupt" Charlie, or make sure the hotel never succeeds.
This is because demonic power is tied to human souls, and there are "millions of souls" in Hell, which likely fuels the great power of "Roo". The more souls there are in Hell, the more powerful "Roo" becomes. The Overlords also get their demonic power from "millions of souls".
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The deal between Eve and "Roo" might even be the first contract, or deal, between a human soul and a demonic entity; in exchange for 'free will', and the knowledge of good and evil, Eve allowed the "Root of All Evil" to inhabit her body, and to escape the void or prison it was confined to by Heaven (Hell?). (For one cannot be 'all-good' unless you attempt to 'eliminate' or 'ablate' evil; and, in Greek mythology, Zeus imprisoned the Titans in Tartarus for all of their evil deeds.)
Another possibility, brought up in an article by Gillian Osborne, is that Lucifer sees the "fruit of knowledge" as an apple, but it may appear as different fruits to different people, depending on how they view it. This also fits with Lucifer and angels being able to easily shapeshift.
In Paradise Lost, only Lucifer describes the fruit as an "apple" (malus), as he associates malus with "bad, evil", while the narrator also describes the fruit as "a mix of different colors" and peach-like. This then begs the question: "Did the fruit of knowledge of good and evil become 'evil' because Eve harbored resentment towards Adam?"
Quote: "Lucifer (Satan) gives Eve yet another hint that this tree may be more complicated than he wishes her to believe: although elsewhere in Milton's poem Eden is heady with its own newness, sprouting spring flowers left and right, the tree of knowledge is already old: its trunk is 'mossie'. Nevertheless, Lucifer claims to wind himself around the tree 'soon'; the quickness of his reported arrival stands in contrast to the timescales required to cover a fruit tree with moss (PL 9.589). Placing Lucifer's winding body between these two timescales—an easeful present and the inhuman scale of natural history—Milton suggests that there is something dangerous in entangling the past with the present. Yet, 'Paradise Lost' also makes deep biblical history feel like present politics for its readers. When Adam and Eve wander out of Eden at the end of the poem, they famously make their way not only into an earthly paradise, but also into the present. Eden's mossy apple tree therefore represents the pitfalls of conflating nature and history, of seeing any action in human history—even Eve's eating of an apple—as natural, if by nature, we mean inevitability. For Milton, history, unlike nature, is directed by humans, progressive, and, like the reading of 'Paradise Lost', hard work. While trees may inevitably collect moss the longer they live, Adam and Eve's labors in the garden, and our labors of reading, require agency and effort. Milton's poem refuses mourning the loss of Eden, [and the perfection of Heaven], in favor of a perpetual, melancholic, recreation of paradise: a present perfecting."
To quote Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier, which also draws inspiration from John Milton's Paradise Lost: "It's an unfortunate situation...but you do have a choice [i.e. free will]."
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smoshyourheadin · 3 months
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Meeting Trevor Evarts when mythical first bought smosh and instantly clicking from being the same age, only to seek eachother out in eachothers offices, and seeing how the relationship evolves as he becomes a cast member of smosh?
as a team
pairing: trevor evarts x f! reader
a/n: can i just say, im living for the trevor requests recently!! he’s so cutie pie eek!! requests open <3
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you remember the day clearly. the news had just broken: mythical had acquired smosh, and the internet was buzzing with excitement. as a long-time fan of both companies, you couldn't believe your luck when you landed a job at smosh shortly after the acquisition.
your first day at the smosh offices was a whirlwind of introductions and new faces. everyone was so lovely, and brimming with the energy of the new beginning. amidst the chaos, you were introduced to trevor. you knew him from his time on mythical, and it turned out you were the same age, so ian put your guys’ desks next to eachother, and instantly, you felt a connection.
trevor extended his hand with a warm smile. "hey, i’m trevor. nice to meet you!"
you shook his hand, matching his smile, and introducing yourself. "nice to meet you too! i’ve been a fan of you since your mythical days."
"that’s awesome! it’s cool to meet someone my age here," he said, his eyes lighting up with genuine enthusiasm. "so, what’s your job here?"
you explained your position, something about social media, and the two of you chatted for a while about the changes and what you were looking forward to in this new era of smosh. from that first meeting, you found yourselves naturally gravitating towards each other. you discovered you had similar tastes in movies, music, and a shared sense of humor that made you click instantly.
as the days turned into weeks, you and trevor began hanging out during breaks, often finding yourselves in the offices watching youtube together. it became a routine: grabbing coffee together in the mornings, and talking late into the evening.
one day, as you both sat in the lunch office, trevor looked up from his phone with a thoughtful expression. "you know, it's been really great having someone like you around. i feel like we get each other, you know?"
you nodded, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "i feel the same way. it's like, we've known each other forever."
as time passed, trevor transitioned from being a sort of behind-the-scenes guy to becoming a cast member on smosh. you watched his journey with pride, supporting him at every turn. the bond between you two only grew stronger as he navigated this new phase of his career.
one evening, after a long day of filming, you found yourselves alone in the office once again. trevor leaned back in his chair, a satisfied smile on his face. "today was a good day. thanks for always being there for me."
"of course, trev. i wouldn't want to be anywhere else," you replied sincerely.
he paused, looking at you with an intensity you hadn’t seen before. "you know, i think we make a pretty good team. not just at work, but... everything."
your heart skipped a beat as you met his gaze. "i think so too."
from that moment, your relationship with trevor began to evolve into something more. you began dating shortly after, and it was more than you could’ve ever asked for. what’s started as an office-place acquaintance grew into a deep and loving relationship. you supported each other through the highs and lows of work and life, creating countless memories and jokes along the way.
as trevor continued to shine on smosh, you were right there beside him, proud of the journey you had both embarked on together. your guys’ bond had turned into an unbreakable partnership, built on chemistry that had been there from the very first day.
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toskarin · 2 months
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what warband mods would you rec? I only ever played vanilla warband years ago and that was probably on fairly low AI settings, but I'm definitely intrigued by getting the full feudal clusterfuck experience as well as indulging in some nostalgia.
there's a few qualifications to these, because I usually like them for different reasons and I have something wrong with me, but...
< ! PREEMPTIVE WARNING ! > you should be running modules in Warband Script Extender even if they don't say they need it! people have historically been really bad about clarifying when it's expected
Bannerpage - vanilla for people who want More of it, and then more after that. it reminds me of a spiritual successor to Floris Modpack. an enormous expansion that's also a bit of a tongue in cheek what-if for "Bannerlord, except as continued development of Warband" with increasing complexity. this one will probably spoil you a bit on other modules just because of how many little enhancements it pulls on the native systems lol
Prophesy of Pendor - the premier feudal fantasy rpg experience. this one is brutally difficult and throws some battles at you with genuinely bewildering enemy force sizes. I'd feel fairly confident in calling this the most difficult of the major total conversion modules that maintain core M&B gameplay
Touhou Gensokyo Warfare~the Castiron Flame - this is straight up glorious kusoge and I love it dearly. it often breaks so severely due to its own design decisions that it creates a unique high-skill gameplay expectation that exists in literally no other mods, but also it can't really be called "core" M&B gameplay anymore. this module actually consists of three chinese mods (Touhou Tinder, Touhou Origin, and Touhou Beat), one of which is derived from a fork that was extended by /jp/, another which was just translated by /jp/ (a shoddy translation but not distinctly a 4chan translation, if that's a concern), all of which were merged into one mod and managed by a passionate and cool chinese mod team. none of this comes to a consistent artistic vision. every single character looks like kigurumi cosplay and they all look like they're from different manufacturers. this is my favourite module. I could play it for years.
Perisno - a strange bird of a module that I don't see mentioned much anymore. a shame, honestly, because it's quite fun if you like higher fantasy settings. a bit overconfident with its own setting lore at times, but that really just makes it more authentic as a high fantasy setting, doesn't it? anyway they funnelled the mod development efforts away to a standalone game in the setting because of that, and I wish them well, but you know how it goes with that sort of thing
Gekokujo Daimyo Edition - a modification of an older warband module that was originally a touhou hijack that was originally a mod for the non-Warband game made by japanese players annoyed that nobody in the western playerbase was making mods with a japanese setting. it's buggy, it's incomplete, it will explode at you randomly, but it's still pretty neat. there's really no other mod out there that gives you such a thorough "I HATE THE TANEGASHIMA I HATE THE TANEGASHIMA" experience. Sengoku Era, a successor mod, will probably replace it on recommendation lists when it eventually releases.
Warsword Conquest - this is the Warhammer Fantasy mod. it has all the problems you'd expect from that. that being said, the sheer level of detail in this mod makes it more than worth dropping in to check it out. some of the environments are gorgeous enough to make Warband feel like an entirely different game, and with a surprising variety of firearms, the average campaign ends up being a pretty wild ride
Brytenwalda - I'm not recommending Brytenwalda as an experience, because it's actually not that good a very interesting moment in M&B modding history. Brytenwalda is the birthplace of a lot of mod tropes that became standard in mods going forward, namely most culture-related systems and the modern standard for module graphics. it also introduced tripping and represents the moment people started making really annoying attempts at jury-rigging balance into the game before Warband Script Extender came around and actually allowed them to modify the lower systems of the game. still kinda neat if you like historical settings, and definitely foundational enough to warrant a look
Last Days of the Third Age - infamously hard-headed in a way that only a mod for a feudal warfare simulator rpg made by Tolkien nerds who insist on book>movie aesthetics could pull off, this isn't really core M&B gameplay and is very rigid, but it's another case of something being so detailed and passionate that it's a fun experience anyway.
Solid and Shade - this is actually the best hardcore survival horror experience made for Warband, which is a bit like saying that Harvester is the best FMV game ever made about waking up in a town named Harvest. the Harvester comparison is more than surface level. the writing often feels like Harvester. this is one of the only modules (hell, one of the only games even!) I've ever seen that successfully pulls off the concept of corrupting players with the promise of immortality. it's a horror mystery where every single character creation option affects your longterm gameplay... but to provide a fair warning, reading the developer's commentary on this mod will sour you on it. the developer is an edgelord who just kinda kitchen-sinked horror elements in a way that reminds me a lot of Revolution of Terror (the old Well of Souls mod). the compelling esoterica and atmosphere seem to have been achieved largely on accident
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inkyarcturus · 3 months
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give me all your headcanons for snape nEOOOOWWW (pretty please 🤎)
Okay so I think I’m going to break this down into chunks because I have a LOT of thoughts so here’s the first chunk :D
TW: for child abuse?
PRE HOGWARTS:
it’s pretty much canon that Sev came from an abusive home with an alcoholic muggle father and a pure blood mother.
Personally, I believe that his mother Eileen Prince was disowned by her family upon marrying Tobias. Although at first they were a happy couple, Eileen becomes pregnant with Severus and reveals to Tobias that she is a witch. Tobias, coming from an era where witchcraft is demonized and realizing the drain that a child has on his finances, becomes abusive.
Eileen tries her best to keep the abuse from Severus as much as possible, leading to her stopping herself from using magic as she believes that would just anger Tobias even more.
Severus is absolutely a mamas boy as a child and you can pry that headcanon out of my cold dead hands. He would do anything for his mama, growing up hearing stories about Hogwarts, magic and the legacy of the Princes, it was all he had to stay sane. Whenever Tobias was out of the house for extended periods of time, Eileen would brew with Severus as well, usually healing potions.
He would often be seen wearing his mother’s clothes because of the families lack of funds but also just because it was a way to connect with her.
The first time Severus uses accidental magic was to help his mom avoid Tobias, blasting him unconscious. It’s a mess of emotions for the rest of the night. Eileen is panicking, worrying about her husband’s health and her own but also trying to celebrate Severus’ magic so he knows magic isn’t bad (pure bloods are aware of obscurials). Severus is in tears worrying about his mother’s injuries, unable to understand the situation. Eileen calms him down enough to get him to agree to never tell Tobias about this incident.It happens again more times afterwards.
Severus is sensitive as a child, always crying despite his father’s anger towards his tears. He becomes agitated with himself, being unable to control himself. His father’s words haunt him every time he cries.
He goes years without any friends, not going to school because of his magical status, but still being allowed to go out to play and escape his fathers grasp.
The kids usually don’t like him cause of his poor hygiene, odd clothing and even stranger words. He’s rather intelligent for his age, but being raised in an abusive household has only taught him vulnerability is weakness and everything is a threat.
When he meets Lily he learns how to let go of his shields. He’s made his first magical friend, someone who doesn’t mind his clothing, or hair, or overall oddness.
He goes over to the Evan’s family house at least once a week. Lily’s parents constantly fuss over him, asking if he’s alright or need food or clothing. He constantly denies it because he doesn’t want to burden them, or have them look too closely at his home life
Eileen is so grateful her son has a friend she is brought to tears wherever she hears Sev talk about Lily (which he does, a lot). Whenever she knows Tobias will be out of the house she’ll ask Sev to bring Lily over so all three of them can make potions together.
Petunia is less receptive of him, constantly starting arguments with Lily over why she even talks to him, but generally leaves them alone to stay in her room.
Sev was always quiet as a child, he would play silently whenever on his own, keeping his thoughts within his imagination. His preferred method of play, pre-Lily, was organizing objects. He would organize them by color, shape, name, then mix them back up and start again.
With Lily he would let his imagination run wild, playing the part of dragon, knight, prince and spy, usually acting as a helper to Lily. They call each other sun and moon. He sees himself as a reflection of Lily’s light. His self esteem will only get lower as the years progress.
Occasionally, Lily would get extra allowance (Lily’s parents purposefully gave for Sev) and they would go to a corner store to buy sweets. I imagine he has a pallet for less overwhelming sweets, like matcha flavoring, but as he grows older he convinces other people he likes bitter sweets the most. I think he has an appreciation for berries the most.
Hope you appreciate these :D think took almost an hour to write and I keep on wanting to add more but this is honestly already too long :,)
Side note I just realized I can’t do multiple posts on one ask? So if you want the second chunk can you please send another ask :,D
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List of Bat Family Team-Ups and Crossovers from the Batman: Reborn Era
While to me the late 90s and early 00s produced the quintessential Bat Family, 2009-11 (plus Convergence) gives us a maturing and quickly evolving Bat Family; forced to reckon with the themselves and their pasts, to sustain a future. Crossovers had a very different tone to 10 years prior; all that shared history now boils to the surface, asking if these already complicated relationships, new and old, will stand the test of time. I also added links and bolded my favourites.
For newer readers: This is the period after Bruce Wayne's "death", which caused a reshuffling of monikers and Gotham to break into chaos. The extended Bat Family at this point includes Dick Grayson (Batman III), Damian Wayne (Robin V), Stephanie Brown (Batgirl IV), Barbara Gordon (Oracle), Helena Bertinelli (The Huntress), Dinah Lance* (Black Canary II), Tim Drake-Wayne (Red Robin), Cassandra Wayne (Black Bat), Selina Kyle (Catwoman), Kate Kane (Batwoman II), Renee Montoya (The Question II), Jason Todd* (Red Hood II) and Bruce Wayne (Batman I).
Team Up Comic Runs
Batman and Robin 2009 (#1-26)
Dick and Damian
Batgirl 2009 (#1-24)
Steph and Babs
Birds of Prey 2010 (#1-15)
Babs, Helena and Dinah
Team Up/Crossover Arcs
Battle for the Cowl (#1-3)
Dick, Babs, Tim, Damian, Helena, Selina, Squire, Cass (cameo), Dinah (cameo), and Jason (antagonist).
Batgirl Rising: Point of New Origin (Batgirl 2009 #1-3)
Steph, Babs, Cass (flashback), and Dick and Damian (cameos)
Revenge of the Red Hood (Batman and Robin 2009 #4-6)
Dick, Damian, and Jason (antagonist)
Life After Death (Batman #692-697)
Dick, Helena, Selina, Babs and Damian
Blackest Night: Batman (#1-3)
Dick, Tim, Damian and Babs
The Eighth Deadly Sin (Batman Annual #27 & Detective Comics Annual #11)
Dick, Renee and Damian
Leviathan (Streets of Gotham #5-6)
Helena, Babs, Dick and Damian
Batgirl Rising: Core Requirements (Batgirl 2009 #5-7)
Steph, Babs, Dick and Damian
Collision (Red Robin # 9, Batgirl 2009 #8 & Red Robin #10-12)
Tim, Steph, Dick, Babs, Damian, and Helena (cameo)
Blackest Knight (Batman and Robin 2009 #7-9)
Dick, Kate, Knight & Squire, and Damian
The Flood (Batgirl 2009 #9-12)
Steph, Babs, Selina (antagonist), Helena (antagonist), and cameos for Dick, Tim and Damian.
Pipeline: Chapter Two (The Question: Pipeline or Detective Comics #859-864)
Renee and Helena
The Hit List (Red Robin #13-17)
Tim, Dick, Damian, Cass (epilogue), and Steph (cameo)
Batman: Imposters (Detective Comics #867-870)
Dick, Babs, and Renee (cameo)
Black Mass (Batman and Robin 2009 #16)
Dick, Damian and Bruce
Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Batgirl
Steph, Babs and Bruce
The Great Escape (Batman #703 & Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Batman and Robin)
Dick, Damian, Tim and Bruce
Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Oracle
Babs, Bruce, and Steph (cameo)
Bruce Wayne: The Road Home: Red Robin
Tim and Bruce
Planet Gotham (Batman: The Return)
Bruce, Dick, Steph, Damian, Babs and Tim
Batman: The Black Mirror (Detective Comics #771-781)
Dick, Commish Gordon, Babs and Tim
All the Rage (Detective Comics Annual 12 & Batman Annual 28)
Dick, Bruce and Renee
The Lesson: Frogs, Snails & Puppy-Dog Tails... (Batgirl #17)
Steph and Damian
Judgement on Gotham (Batman 708, Red Robin #22, Gotham City Sirens #22 & Batman #709)
Dick, Selina and Tim
The Streets Run Red (Batman and Robin 2009 #23-25)
Dick, Damian, and Jason (antagonist)
Five Minutes Fast (Batgirl 2009 #22)
Steph and Squire
Batman Incorporated: Leviathan Strikes!
Steph and Bruce (part 1) | Bruce, Dick, Damian and Tim (part 2)
Hostile Takeover (Birds of Prey #12-13)
Helena, Renee, Babs and Dinah
The Gates of Gotham (#1-5)
Dick, Cass, Damian and Tim
7 Days of Death, Part 3 (Red Robin #25)
Tim and Cass
Storybook Endings (Batman #713)
Dick and Damian, but cameos for Bruce, Tim, Steph, Babs, Helena and Selina.
Unsinkable (Batgirl 2009 #24)
Steph and Babs, cute cameos for Damian and Cass
new reader note: Flashpoint ends Post Crisis continuity here but the 2015 Convergence event revisits this continuity for one last time, giving us a few more complete endings.
Father and Sons (Convergence: Batman and Robin)
Bruce, Damian and Jason
The Love Song of Stephanie Brown (Convergence: Batgirl)
Steph, Cass and Tim
Just One More Thing… (Convergence: The Question)
Renee, Helena and Kate
Birds of Rage (Convergence: Nightwing/Oracle)
Dick, Babs and Dinah
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