#and father threatened to leave them while mother was pregnant

[decayedhearts]

@soothsaer​ sent:   💭 + trey + trauma   [Send me a “💭“ and your Muse will experience one of my muse’s Memories]

A sweet scent suddenly fills your nose and then you’re carried away on a cloud of cinnamon and apple, the school disappearing from your eyes and changing into a place you’ve never seen before..

It’s the big kitchen in the back of the bakery, the one where most of the baking happens. There’s a smaller area in the shop part too where some minor cake and cookie decorating is done, but that’s your father’s job and you’ve never helped him out there. Not yet. Some day you’ll be allowed to take over there as well. If you’re honest, it makes you nervous to think about - what if you mess up while people are watching? All that money wasted if you have to give it away for free (because who will buy messed up cake?), or worse, all that food wasted if mother decides to throw it away. Maybe you could sneak it out of the kitchen and give it to your sister, pretend you failed it on purpose so she could have some sweeties before bedtime. She’d probably like that.

“Trey, honey? Be careful not to let the dough dry up,” mother’s voice pulls you from your thoughts. You look at the lump of dough you’ve been kneading and nod. “Yes, mum,” you promise, poking the soft mass with your fingers to see if it’s starting to crack. It’s still okay, but if you’re not careful, it’ll dry up like mother said. You’ve done this often enough by now to recognize its stages, you shouldn’t make mistakes like that anymore.

You start splitting the dough into smaller pieces, rolling little balls and placing them on the counter. They all need to be the same size or else the finished buns won’t turn out the same, some will burn while the others are still raw, and you won’t have time to check them all individually. There’s so much left to do for tomorrow and you’re already getting sleepy. You hear the front door opening, the familiar jingle of the bell distracting you for a moment, but you stay focused on your task. There was a time where you’d drop what you’re holding and run to greet father, but that time is past. “Your father is back,” mother says and smiles at you. No, she looks sad. No.. she is smiling. She leaves the room and closes the door behind her.

You make more dough balls but you lose count of them as you place them on the counter. The sound of the clock ticking on the wall is so loud it feels as though it should make the loose flour vibrate on the counter’s surface. You hear their voices in the other room. They’re loud just normal, but you can’t make up any words. Mother is crying laughing about something. Maybe father told a joke; he used to do that a lot when you were little. Well, when you were younger, you are still little, compared to him.

You’re still counting by the time mother comes back, but the numbers are all jumbled in your head. Maybe it’s 15, or maybe it’s 49. Mother is quiet and so are you, your small whispered counting just loud enough for her to recognize you’re still doing it. You need her to know that, you’re not sure why, but the thought of her asking if you overheard them makes your stomach ache. You heard nothing.      “I’m done, mother,” you say out loud and turn to find your mum sitting on her chair by the window, her hand on her round belly. She’s in tears. Again. There is flour on her cheek and before you know you move to wipe it away, your small hand coming away damp.

And then she’s hugging you, holding you so tight it hurts a little, your small chest unable to take in breath like it should. You don’t remember the last time she hugged you to comfort you. You haven’t asked her to in a while. It wouldn’t feel like comfort from someone so broken. She’s whispering words into your ear that you don’t want to hear, words you choose not to understand. If you don’t understand them, maybe they won’t be true.

The bakery needs to stay afloat so you can keep the house and pay the bills, that much you understand. “I’ll help, mum,” you say, while your chest still hurts. You wish she would let go of you already. You already messed up so much, almost caused them to lose it all at the hands of a wrathful woman with a heart of stone. Irresponsible. The bakery needs to stay afloat so he won’t leave, you already messed up so much--- the bakery needs to stay afloat or she will go away too. You’re all she has, of course you’ll help. If you’ll help everything will turn out fine, the bakery will stay, father will stay, your sister will be fine and the baby--

The memory breaks off with a snap, like a film tearing. 

[nathaslosthershit]

Emotional Times (OP81)

Summary: Pregnancy was a time full of hardships. Hormones on high, stress of the incoming baby, and all the sudden changes were what this father-to-be was expecting, ready to face. What he wasn't expecting was having to battle his pregnant wife's newfound sensitivity to everything that could have her emotions changing in an instant Part of my summer event!

It has been a rough time in the Piastri household. Oscar loves his wife, he really does, and god, would he move heaven and earth for her. In her current state though, she doesn’t know whether she wants heaven or earth and if he brings her the wrong one she will burst into tears, but if he brings her the right one, she will also burst into tears.

There wasn’t any winning. During moments like that, he just had to remember that greener grass on the other side. The other side where he finally has his own little family. 

The couple had also both made peace with the fact he would be traveling a lot during the season and she would have to spend some of her pregnancy by herself. It was easy while she could travel in the beginning but a few complications cut her ability to do so off much sooner than the two would have liked. And she did not like this. 

“Honey, please, get back in bed.” Oscar begged at 5 am. He was ready to head off to his next race, when he unintentionally woke his very pregnant wife up after giving her a kiss on the forehead.

This made her frustrated, she had finally gone to sleep after spending so much of the night tossing and trying to turn and the minute she drifts off he has the audacity to-

Then she realized he kissed her on the forehead because he was leaving her. 

Now, she was holding onto him by the front door, in absolute tears at the thought she would have to do another race weekend alone.

“Please, my love. It absolutely breaks my heart to leave you but I have no choice. Don’t make this harder for me…” Oscar tried to reason with her, but he was on the brink of tears himself seeing how much she wanted him to stay, realizing how much he wanted to stay. But he couldn’t.

“Oscar, I can’t do it, please it's so hard being here all alone. I know it's cliché but I can’t even tie my shoes. How am I supposed to do anything? How am I supposed to take care of a baby when I can’t take care of myself?”

He knew she wasn’t trying to guilt him into staying or make him feel bad if he did leave. These were real concerns she had voiced before. But he felt so helpless in this moment, almost as helpless as she felt constantly. 

The realization hit him, he couldn’t leave her like this. It was unfair to both of them. He had to do something.

“I will figure something out, don’t worry, Honey. Go back to sleep and when you wake up it will be much better, I promise.” He really shouldn’t promise that when he didn’t have a plan, but he couldn’t come up with one while she was sobbing into his neck and holding on for dear life.

With a few hiccups and a small nod, he wiped her tears and gave her a kiss as he left the apartment. 45 minutes later than he would have liked, hopefully the group he was sharing the jet with didn’t leave him behind. 

She already felt better when she woke up, having gotten hours of sleep, finally. It felt so good to wake up well rested and without that many aches. Nothing could bring her mood down.

Except when she couldn’t get in touch with her husband.

She knew he was traveling, that the minute his plane landed he was off to start preparing for the upcoming race. But no calls and no messages soured her mood real fast. 

She tried to shake it off, she went about her day trying not to dwell on it, trying not to send him threatening messages for not answering her the second she texted him. 

A call woke her up the next morning, well it was noon but she still wasn't pleased. Not till she saw who was calling.

“Oh sweetheart! How are you?” Nicole Piastri asked.

If there was one person she loved almost as much as her husband, it was his mother.

“I’m okay, haven’t heard from Oscar much, that asshole.” she grumbled.

“Oh I remember the days, that's why I have my twitter afterall.” Nicole said, making her laugh. It was sometimes a wonder how her husband was Nicole’s son. 

“Yeah well i-”

“Oh crap, honey, I have to go! But I’ll see you soon, okay? Hang tight!” Nicole said before hanging up.

She didn’t have time to dwell on the abrupt end to the call as a knock came from the front door. Connecting the two, she wobbled as fast as she could to the door, where her mother-in-law stood. 

And then she burst into tears.

“Oh, he told me you were going to do that but I didn’t know it would be that immediate,” Nicole said as she went to hug her. 

Through the tears and snot, she asked “Oscar? What do you mean?”

“He said he texted you, gosh, he is the worst at communication for someone who spends so much time on his phone,” she frowned at her daughter-in-law.

Quickly opening her texts, she saw he had messaged her a few hours ago:

Oscar: I told you I had a plan, just a few more hours, my love. I can’t wait to see you in a few days :) 

Thus the mother and daughter-in-law started their girls weekend. My god, it was exactly what she needed. As much as she loved her husband, this was 1000 times better than what she would have done if he was here. And despite how much she missed him, the weekend seemed to fly by. 

Oscar: How is she? I am only half an hour away.

Nicole: Currently napping, but she has been good! Relaxed and happy. Hasn’t even cried in the past few days

Oscar: Wow, I am almost offended she didn’t miss me more?

Nicole: She needed girl time, you couldn’t give that to her sweetheart. She also needed someone who actually knew how to correctly do laundry.

Oscar: Alright, mum, nice talking to you. I'll be back soon, please don’t turn my wife against me.

Nicole: 😉

Just as he did when he was leaving, Oscar unintentionally woke his pregnant wife up when kissing her on the forehead. Unlike when he was leaving, she didn’t get upset. She was too happy to see him that the thought hadn’t even occurred to her.

Holding him in a death grip, she recounted all she did while he was gone. She couldn’t really go out much at this point, so hearing his mom still found a way to make her weekend enjoyable was a relief. 

“I haven’t even cried over something stupid in a while!” She said as she finished her account of the past few days.

“I heard, I am glad you are feeling so much better, my love. I hated being gone but hearing you had a wonderful time makes me so happy.” He said as he began to tear up, thinking about how awful it was to leave. 

“Oscar, come on, just cause i'm not as emotional doesn’t mean you have to make up for it” She teased.

After pestering him about how his time away was, he remembered he had picked up something for her, and while he bought it thinking he would use it to stop her tears, why not just give it to her while she is this happy.

“I picked up your favorite,” he said as he reluctantly handed her the food he got, shuddering at the unusual combination she loved oh so much.

The sound of her son gagging as he watched his wife eat had Nicole coming into the room to investigate. The picture of her pregnant daughter-in-law, happy as a clam while she ate her food, and her son holding his nose and trying to stop himself from throwing up was a sight she committed to memory and knew she was going to bring up for years to come. 

“What have you got there?” Nicole asked, knowingly making Oscar gag again as he was reminded of the food combination.

“Cottage cheese and ketchup,” she answered. Instead of disgust, the couple was confused by the light bulb moment Nicole seemed to have.

“My goodness! That is what I craved with Oscar. Gross to think about now but I loved it then.”

“What! You never told me this?” Oscar asked, astounded he would be the reason his mom had to eat a combination that disgusted him so.

“I was saving it for the next podcast I did. Think I’ll have to talk about this moment too.” His mom teased. 

Rolling his eyes, he turned to his wife and immediately clocked in on the frown beginning to form.

Both mother and son had the same exact thought: Uh oh.

“You- you craved the same thing?” She stuttered out.

“Um, yeah? You okay, Honey?” Nicole asked, now on edge at the incoming storm.

Seconds of silence went by but were soon disrupted by the sounds of his wife’s cries as she took in the information.

“Baby, what's wrong? Why are you upset at that?” Oscar questioned as he went to rub her back in comfort.

“Its just- that is so sweet, and the thought that- that I could be having the same cravings, is just- I just-” His wife didn’t get to finish her sentence as more wails came out, followed by hiccuping.  

Nicole and Oscar looked at each other in alarm as they realized that this was most likely the consequence of a weekend with no breakdowns. They had a long night ahead of them. 

[nthspecialll]

I think we sometimes as a fandom tend to hyper-focus on certian characters' backgrounds simply because we like the character when in reality other characters who might not be as interesting has way better backstories, because no, Javier, Arthur and John are not the only ones with sad backstories

Like why does no one talk about what happened to Leopold's sister? Why does no one talk about young Lenny tracking down and killing folk? Why does no one talk about Javier actually in a way working for the government for a while and the reason why he killed that powerful military man? Why does no one talk about why Dutch is called Dutch and not by his actual first name? Why does no one talk about Bill's worst childhood fear coming true? Why does no one talk about both Swanson and Micah saving Dutch's life or that Tilly is also a murderer?

Anyways here is a full explanation of all the Van Der Linde gang members backstories.

Sean MacQuire

Sean Macquire and his father lived in Ireland possibly with more family but had to flee because the English (who were at the time in charge of ireland) were chasing them. They fled for their lives and they were in Boston for a month before his dad was shot in his sleep, showing the remaining Sean that there was truly no honor or shame in the world.

He was then sent to a reform school, which we all know was abusive and a living hell, so he ran, living as a low-life thief, he was a teenager, when he in a bar somewhere in North Elizabeth saw Dutch and Hosea and liked Dutch's watch. He followed the two into an alleyway and threatened them at gunpoint, however they laughed at him and told him to shoot, so he did, except the two others had noticed him first and taken the bullets from his gun. Sean started crying, thinking they were going to kill him but instead of doing that they gave him a home, a place to belong.

Lenny Summers

Lenny's grandparents as well as parents were slaves and his mother was born on a cotton field and taken away from his grandmother, who hadn't even known she was pregnant, immediately. His grandmother was then told to simply get back to work.

After the civil war, the old overseer kept making advandages towards Lenny's grandmother, to a point that in the end she needed to kill him and just barely escaped being lynched. Lenny's mother never saw the grandmother again.

Lenny's mother later met Mr Summers who was an educated man and taught Lenny to both read and write, however when Lenny was 15, his dad was beaten to death by several drunk men. Lenny stole a gun, tracked and hunted down the men, shooting them and showing no remorse even years later.

Kieran Duffy

Kieran Duffy's father was an Irishman who came to America with a dream of farming. It was there that he met Kieran's mother and not long after having Kieran, they both passed due to Cholera and not shortly after that the stables that he worked at to support himself threw him out. He decided to join the army to support himself but it didn't last long before he quit due to it "not working out well."

After returning from the army, he fell into work with a bunch of unnamed outlaws, though they all passed away, leaving him alone once again.

At some point he ran into the O'Driscolls who gave him a choice, to ride with them or to get killed, esencially forcing him to join them and work as a stable hand for them, though he was at the bottom of the latter simply working with the horses before being kidnapped by Arthur Morgan and joining the Van Der Linde gang.

Leopold Strauss

Leopold Strauss was born into severe poverty in Austria and his family struggled heavily with food. By the time that Strauss was only twelve, his older brother was beating up nightwatch men for whatever cash and food scraps they had on them. By that time Strauss's father had already sold his younger sister Anna, by the age of nine, into bonded labour to be able to provide for the rest of the family.

When Stauss was seventeen he was sent with his uncle to the US due to health problems, however the hellish sight of Brooklyn gave Strauss's uncle a heart attack on the spot, leaving Strauss alone in a forgein country. To survive he began doing illegal money scams and after doing so for years Dutch picked him up.

Tilly Jackson

Tilly Jackson was the daughter of a slave and became an outlaw by the mere age of twelve, running with a gang called the Foreman brothers who kidnapped her but after murdering the leaders cousin after he made advandages on her, she had to flee. She returned to her mothers workplace but found that she had already passed.

Later Tilly ran into Dutch Van Der Linde and as he was already taking care of John Marston and Arthur Morgan, he took her in, becoming just as much as a father figure to her as to the boys.

Micah Bell

Micah Bell was born directly into a life of crime as his father Micah Bell jr was a petty but ruthless and violent outlaw. Already when Micah was 17 him and his father were on run from the law as they had slid Jean and Roscoe Briggs throats and later hung them as well. His father was also his primary partner in crime, however he also seemed to have teamed up with his brother Amos a few times as well, however Amos regretted his past life and started a proper one with wife and children and threatened to kill Micah if he came close.

Micah had several partners in crime later in life, including Joe and Cleet who appears later in the game, as well as a fellow named Norman.

Micah runs into Dutch Van Der Linde in 1898 in a bar as Dutch is trying to sell some stolen goods, however the deal doesn’t work out and Micah steps in to help Dutch and save his life, earning a place in the gang.

Bill Williamson

Bill Williamson, also known as Marion Williamson, was born into an abusive family with a father who lost his mind to alchohol, even going to the point of mixing moonshine with whiskey. Watching this Bill always feared falling in love with liquor and suffering the same fate.

Bill always showed signs of being more of a troubled kid and being sent to a reform school did not stop him from building s solid criminal record as a kid.

Bill would later apply to the military and serve in the 15th infantry, fighting against the native americans before being dishonorably discharged for deviancy and attempted murder in 1892. For a year after he lived rough, truly falling in love with liqour and stealing from people om the side of the roads, one time being robbed himself by a "woman" (likely a cross dresser or genderqueer person).

In 1893 Bill tried to rob Dutch and got angry as the man simply laughed at him, however he calmed down as he was allowed a spot in the Van Der Linde gang.

Daniel(?) "Dutch" Van Der Linde

Dutch's mother was an english woman named Greta and his father a dutch man who lived somewhere near Philadelphia who fought in the civil war and died, which is why Dutch hated southeners.

Dutch's nickname rumors to come from his father's desperate attempt at keeping touch with his ancerstory.

When he was 15, he left home due to troubles with his mother whom he never got along with and simply saw him as a disobedient and troubled kid. He wished for freedom above all so to gain this he started a life of crime and in mid 1870 met Hosea Matthews.

Hosea Matthews

Hosea was born in around 1844 and lived the majority of his earlier life in the mountians, growing to love fishing and hunting. His father was mostly absent, living a life of "sin and debauchery that would make an emperor blush." Hosea saw his dad only about three times in his life but loved him none the less.

He tried to make his way with comedy as a stage actor, however he turned to petty thieft, stealing from his audience and later others in town. He was caught by the sheif stealing a chicken and sentenced to be hanged. Luckiy for Hosea the town folk saw it as a punishment too cruel and a riot broke out which ended with someone shooting the noose around Hosea's neck, allowing him to flee.

Mid 1870 Hosea found Dutch sitting by a campfire and decided to rob him, however found that Dutch had already robbed him. Hosea feared for a moment for his life but it ended with the two of them laughing it off and teaming up.

Molly O'Shea

Molly O'Shea was born into a wealthy Irish family, set up to live a proper and educated life, however she quickly got bored and showed little interest in the life set up for her, so she ran off to America in search of adventure and excitment. At some point she ran into Dutch Van Der Linde and found an interest in him and his life style, only to later genuiently fall in love with him.

Arthur Morgan

Arthur Morgan was born to Beatrice and Lyle Morgan in northen US. His mother died in his early life and he never really got along with his father whom there are rumors was abusive. Lyle lived a life of petty crime and was arrested and executed. Arthur saw his father die and although not having the best relationship, Arthur kept his father's hat and picture.

In 1877 Arthur was 14 and a wild delinquent. He ran into Dutch and Hosea, being picked up and taken under their wing, taught not only the ways of crime but also skills like reading, writing, hunting and so on.

Uncle

Uncle was born in Ohio (insert Penelope Braithwaithe shutter) with the only family present being his parents who died when he was nine and an "uncle" named Jeb whom Uncle hints at being a pedofile.

After his parents death he was on his own and was forced to a new city where he had to care for himself, and from that time to the game start in 1899, we know he has been married at least twice.

Uncle tells many stories of his past such as going to Africa and being worthshipped like a god by the locals, however the truth of these stories are highly doubted due to his tendency to lie. He does tell stories of being a "one shot kid" in his younger days, the truth of these also being doubted, however it may have been his tricket into the Van Der Linde gang.

Susan Grimsaw

Along with Hosea, Dutch and Arthur Susan was one of the founding memebers of the Van Der Linde gang, having run into Dutch during a poker game where both he and she found interest in one another, causing the curious couple and their unruly son to stay in the area a bit longer, paying poker long into the night while Susan sat on Dutch's lap.

Having gotten into a romantic relationship with Dutch, Susan was allowed to join the small group and even stayed when Dutch moved on to Annabelle, now serving as a form of housemother, making sure that people did their work, took properly care of themselves and made camp feel like home.

You can also hear Susan talking to Mary-Beth one time in camp, admitting that she had a fiance once however he went to heaven.

John Marston

John Marston was born in 1873 to an illiterate scottish father born on the boat to New York and a prositute mother who died during his birth. At first John lived with his father who constantly spoke of Scotland and his love for the country, however he was blinded in a bar fight south of Chicargo and later died when John was eight. The true cause of his father's death is unknown however John was told it was a barfight.

John spent a few years in an orphanage before running off and living on his own, at the mere age of eleven commiting his first murder by shooting a man, though he claims it was not his fault.

At the age of twelve John had been caught stealing from homesteaders who planned to have him hanged, however Dutch stepped in and took him under his wing.

Orville Swanson

Swanson used to wrok as a Clergyman but after indulging in the "earthly pleasures", being seduced by alchohol and sex, he lost his family, job and in the end faith, though he desperately tried to regain it.

At some point or another he fell in love with a woman named Margaret, though she was already married, so he simply added bigamy to the list of sins he had already commited. When the two of them were in San Fransisco, the law finally caught up wth them and while she fled onto a ship headed for Shanghai he was stuck and never saw her again.

Under unknown circomstances Swanson came to save Dutch's life and due to Dutch's debt to Swanson he was allowed to join the gang.

Mary-Beth Gaskill

Being a woman of good nature, Mary-Beth did not struggle getting close to her victims after having found herself needing to find a living in the streets. Due to her looks and personality she could with ease fool the richer men into thinking they were saving a poor maiden in need while her fingers slipped into their pockets.

It was through this that Mary-Beth got in trouble with not just the law but her victims as well. One night she had gotten a few foul men on her tail that she ran into the Van Der Linde gang who saved her and asked her to join them.

Charles Smith

Charles Smith was born to a Native Mother and a free African American father, all three of them living fairly happily with his mothets tripe together with a few other free men before the US army chased them away.

They continued to live together but a few years later Charles' mother was captured by the army, leading Charles' father to fall into alcoholism and a deep depression.

At the mere age of 13 Charles left his father and began to live on his own, becoming a supreme survivalist from an early age.

Some point during the late 1898 ran into the Van Der Linde gang in the Grizzlies and joined them.

Simon Pearson

Simon Pearson's family were whale hunters and although Pearson wished to follow in their footsteps it did not go that way due to the whale industry having lessened by the time that he got out of school. Having been forced to look for new employment options, Pearson joins the Navy where he even managed to get stranded for fifty days on a ship filled with plauge, watching his friends and coworkers slowly drop one by one.

After having returned from the Navy Pearson begins to struggle financially and takes a loan, however unable to pay it off loansharks comes after him and it is during one of these attempts at getting to Pearson that the Van Der Linde gang saves him and brings him to camp as a cook.

Abigail Marston

Abigail Marston, originally born Abigail Roberts, was orphaned at a young age and started roaming around bars, scraping whatever few coins she could take from folk before starting a work of prostitution, making an earning by selling her body and at some point running into Uncle at a bar who introduced her to the gang.

Now living with the gang, Abigail still worked as a prositute up until falling pregnant with Jack Marston by John Marston.

Josiah Trelawny

Josiah Trelawny was born in England though he has no memories of his life there, he later imigated to America where he starts working as a conman and trickster. It was during this line of work that he met yhe Van Der Linde gang and joined them bur with a special advandage as he, unlike the others, was allowed to appear and disappear as he pleased, always knowing when Dutch planned to cut him off and return with a big hit.

Josiah has a family living in Saint Denis concisting of a wife and two sons named Tarquin and Cornelius. Just as with the gang, he would disappear on them for months.

Karen Jones

Karen Jones lived as a scam artist in her early years and absolutely loved the outlaw lifestyle and hoped for a bit more which partly drove her to accept the Van Der Linde gang's invitation, hoping to achieve more.

Javier Escuella

Javier Escuella was born in Mexico to a drunkard father who worked for Allende' (a main antagonist in rdr1, a military man) uncle. When he was young he saw his own uncle as well as four other separate men get casterated and fed to pigs for simply suggesting fair wages for their work.

Javier moved on to become a violent and known bounty hunter and revolutionary, fighting against what he saw as a corupt system.

Javier ended up killing a powerful former military man for a woman that he loved, fearing for his loved ones life he fled to America where he knew no english and had no work or food, leaving him starving.

It was in America that he ran into Dutch as they both were trying to steal the same chickens. Dutch took Javier in, fed him, gave him a family and a life, leading Javuer to idiolize Dutch also for his revolutionary ideals.

At some unknown point someone attempted to kill Javier, leading to him having a prominent scar on his throat.

Sadie Alder

Sadie Alder grew up in a harsh envioment and from a very early age learned how to hunt and ride to care for herself, things that Jack Adler fell in love with. The two of them married september 1896, moving to a ranch in Ambarino where they had three happy years of marriage before the O'Driscolls arrived at their cabin.

[cjrae]

Carelessness. Or; Lakan's crime in Maomao's eyes is worse than malice.

There is a temptation to take Lakan's character lightly. After his initial, sinister introduction had played out and we are given the story of how Lakan met Maomao's mother, much of Lakan's devotion to his wife and daughter is played for comic relief, allowing him to be the butt of the joke, along with Maomao's exaggerated reactions of disgust and insistence that she has no relation to this man.

It is worth remembering, though, that Lakan is referred to as the fox for good reason - the fox is a trickster figure and Lakan's whole character lies in how he can turn on a dime between being funny in a very pathetic way to those same qualities becoming extremely dangerous when his fun is threatened.

Lakan's heroic qualities do exist, but they are overshadowed by his carelessness and selfishness; it is these qualities that have, so far, doomed the relationship he craves so badly with his daughter.

Spoilers under the cut all the way up to Vol 11's English translation.

Fengxian

We see it in his relationship with Fengxian. While Lakan does not deserve all of the blame for Fengxian's fate, it is his carelessness that puts her in the position of becoming a common prostitute to support Verdigris House after her actions nearly ruined it. Let's pay attention to the sequence of events.

"…Lakan now found himself persona non grata for having been too close to him [Luomen]; he was told to go on a long trip and not come back for awhile. He could have ignored this, but it would have only been a headache later. His father was in the military too, making him not just a parent but a superior officer. At last, he wrote to the brothel saying he would return in half a year's time. This was after he had received a letter saying the contract buy-out had fallen through."

So, first and foremost, we know the following:

1.) Lakan did not strictly have to leave. It was the politic thing to do, but if he had pushed the issue, he could have stayed. If the goal had been to simply have Lakan out of the public eye, while his father may not have been pleased with it, his marriage to Fengxian could have also served a similar purpose as he began to focus on domestic affairs and kept a low profile. But his convenience weighed more heavily than his feelings for Fengxian.

2.) Fengxian tells him that the buy-out has fallen through BEFORE HE LEAVES. Assuming she's just barely pregnant at that point (call it eight weeks, ish) and his letter indicates that he's going to return for her before the baby is born, this is still a terrible sign for her. As he himself puts it later;

"Did he not grasp what happened to such women?

A little thought might have revealed the answer, but his head was full of Go and Shogi and nothing else, and he had been unable to arrive at the truth…It was all his fault for being so impulsive."

But Lakan didn't think and sure enough, three years later, Fengxian isn't waiting for him in her polite little box at the Verdigris House. Because love is not convenient and Lakan values convenience above almost everything else. It's not until he loses Fengxian and their baby (and has the loss driven home to him in a very visceral manner when he finds the fingers in his un-forwarded mail) that it occurs to him that he wants more than endless game playing.

Luomen

We know somebody did check Lakan's mail, though, as the letter with Maomao and Fengxian's fingers is the only piece that's opened. It's easy to guess that it attracted Luomen's attention because it was bloodstained, but Luomen does what Lakan should have - he immediately makes for the pleasure district to find this woman and her child.

It takes him years of patient work on behalf of the Verdigris House to be trusted to adopt Maomao. We know it takes years because Maomao is initially raised by the Three Princesses and the madam, while Luomen is slowly building trust with the courtesans by providing them medical services. At no point does Luomen stride in, demanding to be given custody of his great niece because he's her family. Instead he recognizes that she has a family already in the brothel and works on becoming a part of their lives - because that's what's best for Maomao.

Luomen understands that filial duty goes both ways - a child has responsibilities to the parent, certainly, but those duties imply a reciprocity of care. First, the parent cares for their child, which means that the child's needs must be the priority. What Maomao desperately needs is care, education, safety and stability. All of which, Luomen prioritizes making sure Maomao has to the best of his ability.

Contrast this with Lakan's immediate reaction to finding Maomao in the pleasure district.

"One day, out of the blue, a strange man had appeared and tried to lead her away. The madam had shown up shortly after and beaten him with a broom and the sight of the bruised and bloodied man had inspired fear in her young heart. Anyone would be scared by a man who reached out to them grinning, even as blood poured from his face."

Lakan literally tries to take her off the street, believing he has the right, because he's her father. He doesn't care that he's scaring Maomao, he's described as grinning and reaching for her despite the reactions of everyone around him. Which is why Luomen's reaction to Lakan reception in the pleasure district is very telling - this is a man who is described as far too kind for his own good and having been very close with Lakan.

"Nonetheless, while her old man was compassionate, he did grasp the broader situation, and he never tried to stop the old madam from chasing the other man out of the brothel with her broom. He knew that wrong was wrong."

The manga adds the context that Luomen also "knew the woman with the missing nose." Luomen feels for Lakan, but his duty is to Maomao as her adopted father and to Fengxian as her doctor. His feelings do not outweigh those responsibilities.

Maomao

Lakan adores Maomao from the moment he lays eyes on her. But his love is inherently selfish - the loss of Fengxian and his estrangement from Maomao do not inspire him to do better with his talents consistently.

The ironic part is that Lakan could have made a very compelling argument to be given custody of Maomao. We know that the whole reason he decided to use his strategic brilliance to take back the headship of the La Clan is inspired by Maomao and the life he feels she deserves to have. He also goes back to Verdigris House and although it takes him ten years, he pays off two and a half times the damages he caused - in the world of the red light district, he has paid for his initial crime. So we see that he is capable of putting forth effort when he feels inspired to do so.

If he had applied that same strategy and patience toward working on finding a place in Maomao's life that honored the relationships that supported her when Lakan had abandoned both her and Fengxian, he might have been able to convince those that cared about her that it was in Maomao's best interests to be raised by him as a princess of a named clan.

If we need further evidence that Lakan's carelessness is still a dominant character trait, we can look at a more recent example in the story; the Shi Clan's assassination plot against Jinshi.

Gossip is one of Lakan's hobbies and that, combined with his intuition, means that he's the first person to realize that something is going on. He sees all of these supposedly coincidental acts happening around them and intuits that there is a grander purpose at work. And, to his credit, he doesn't ignore it - he puts his talent of using the people around him to good use. We see him rope Gaoshun into looking into the poisoned seaweed under the guise of a colleague asking for a favor, we see him prod Jinshi into letting Maomao investigate the metalworker. Lihaku is one of his direct subordinates and he's tasked with investigating the explosion at the warehouse and following the trail as they realize that the arson was a diversion.

But at no point is he doing any of this because of anything so prosaic as duty or responsibility. This is a fun game to him that's serving a dual purpose of getting him closer to Maomao. Everything is entirely about what will amuse him or further that one, singular goal. And he's greatly amused - until Maomao puts the pieces together and realizes that this is an assassination attempt.

It never occurs to Lakan that simply maneuvering people around him to get things done and amuse him carries any danger - because he doesn't care that deeply about anyone else aside from a few select individuals. Everything in his mind was entirely about getting him and Maomao into the same place where she couldn't run away from him. Where she would be forced to accept his help.

Which is exactly what happens; Maomao can't get into the temple on her own and she needs Lakan to vouch for her. It is an extremely clumsy, transactional way of trying to build a connection.

So then what happens?

First Maomao is bludgeoned by the guard - a Go stone of a man, unimportant, except for the damage he inflicted on his little girl that Lakan did not anticipate. But worse is when Jinshi carries her out of that temple, bleeding and unconscious, after having saved his life. Everything Lakan has done to try to force his daughter to acknowledge him has instead lead to her being seriously injured.

Maomao points out, later, that if Lakan had simply stepped forward and used his official position as a Grand Commandant to spearhead an investigation, this plot might have been discovered much sooner. Maomao, having a few self-absorbed tendencies of her own, is focused on Suirei's promise of resurrection medicine. But Lakan should be more focused on the fact that, had he actually done something himself, perhaps Maomao wouldn't have been hurt.

Lakan

I said before that Lakan's heroic qualities do exist and it's important to acknowledge them, while also realizing how they are caught up in his self-serving behavior. For all that buying Fengxian out is about Lakan finally getting something he's wanted, there is also virtue in the fact that he does not see the damage the disease has done to Fengxian and think of her as damaged goods. To him Fengxian has just as much value as the day he lost her, simply because she exists. Forget an attitude that's rare in the red-light district, that attitude is rare in the entire setting, which is acknowledged as extremely patriarchal.

Lakan also gets a chance to redeem himself somewhat during the Shi Rebellion. By the time Maomao is kidnapped, it's not because Lakan has been lazy - we see that he's been actively involved in the investigation about the feifa, with a chilling understanding about what improved firearms technology could do for military tactics. He is actually using his position and subordinates appropriately, setting Lahan to investigate the financial trail, which provides Jinshi the concrete proof needed to officially put the rebellion down. This time, the danger to Maomao is not Lakan's fault, and when he realizes she's been kidnapped, he does whatever he must to get Maomao back.

"Silently, Lakan turned toward Jinshi. Then he got up, knelt before Jinshi and pressed his fist into his palm in a gesture of respect. 'I come in supplication. I humbly request that you mobilize the army to strike against the rebel, Shishou.'

Lakan was a grand commandant, in other words, a secretary of military affairs. Jinshi understood what it meant for such a person to ask for the army to be mobilized."

Jinshi observes that his motives have nothing to do with the good of the nation and he is entirely concerned with his own, selfish needs, but while Lakan's motives may be selfish on behalf of the nation, he IS actually acting the way a father should. Maomao is in danger and his priority is doing whatever he must get her to safety, whether that be using the full authority of his rank or putting aside his pride to get Jinshi to mobilize the army.

Neither Malice Nor Virtue

Book 11 gives us an interesting look at Lakan, first in the war conference where Gyoku-ou is gauging Jinshi and Lakan's support for invading another country and we see that Lakan does not care.

"'What do you think, Sir Lakan?'

Lakan once again stopped working his Go problems and studied the map intently. He wore the same look with which he would appraise a board game…

'I don't know about your reasons or excuses. All I know is how to win at Shogi,' Lakan said and then he started arranging the pieces on the map. The aide gave Jinshi an apologetic look.

There was no malice in Lakan - but neither was their virtue. So long as something didn't harm him or his family, he paid it no mind. If there was a chance to participate in an interesting game however - that he wouldn't miss…to the strategist war was just a combination of his favorite games; it was a Shogi match using human pieces and a game of Go in which you captured real territory."

Jinshi's evaluation of Lakan is rather damming. The man has neither malice nor virtue. He cares only about himself, his family and his simple pleasures. This is the core of the issue that has doomed his relationship with Maomao, who despite having inherited a great deal of Lakan's characteristics, values two things above all else in her relationships; work ethic and compassion toward others.

Lakan desperately wants that paternal role with Maomao, but his behavior means that the roles are often reversed - when they are forced to interact, Maomao is often stuck taking care of him, thinking about what will be best for Lakan so that she can maintain her own peace as much as possible. He cannot possibly be her parent if he insists on being a perpetual child to those around him.

And indeed, Jinshi treats him like a child, cutting Lakan's support out from under Gyoku-ou by laying out for him that his daughter and his uncle would both be hurt by this war, giving Lakan a reason to care.

Rikuson

While Book 11 is rather damning in it's evaluation of Lakan as a truly neutral figure, there are hints that Lakan is capable of at least expanding his circle. Rikuson provides first a different perspective of Lakan than we're used to, giving us his first impressions as a child;

"Among the nomadic tribes, it was said that some herdsmen could distinguish each and every one of their sheep - but Rikuson could never do that. Maybe Lakan saw people's faces the same way Rikuson saw sheep.

'Well, what do you do when you really need to remember who someone is?'

Lakan was silent for a moment…"I remember them by the shape of their ears, or their height. I look at the quality of their hair. Memorize the stink of their sweat. Or I listen for the pitch of their voice…'

'Wouldn't it be easier to just remember their face?'

'I don't get faces. I can see people have eyes and a nose and a mouth, but when I try to put them together they get all tangled up and all I can see is a Go stone. Now the size of a person's nostrils, the length of their eyelashes - those, I can understand.'

So he didn't remember an entire face, just specific details about it. That sounded exhausting. No wonder he only did it for the most important people."

Rikuson is right - that DOES sound exhausting. With this perspective in mind, it makes more sense to the reader why Lakan constantly appears lazy and apathetic; because he's always riding the edge of exhaustion just to function. And because Rikuson hasn't had to live with the consequences of Lakan's carelessness, he is better able to empathize with how Lakan interacts with the world around him.

Later, after Rikuson has killed Gyoku-ou, Lakan walks into the situation and instead of exposing his former aide, he protects Rikuson.

"'He was already murdered when you entered the room. So you killed the rebel - is that not right?

It was, of all people, Lakan standing there…What was he doing here?

…Ah, Rikuson thought, it was all over now. There was no hiding anything from Lakan. He had neither good intentions nor bad, but would simply lay out the facts…

'You heard the man,' Lakan said to those around them.

'Wh-What do you mean, Grand Commandant Kan?'

'Hrm? He's telling the truth. He killed the rebel who killed the man. Where's the crime in that? If anything, this is all your fault for leaving such scant security.'

…There was much murmuring, but the general consensus was that if Grand Commandant Kan said it, then that was that…Their suspicion of Rikuson had been dispelled in an instant."

You'll note he doesn't lie for Rikuson. In fact, he offers a perfectly truthful understanding of what happened. The man is Takubatsu, whom Rikuson did in fact find murdered when he entered the room. And Gyoku-ou had essentially taken Jinshi hostage and was actively undermining the Imperial Brother's authority and legitimacy, which does make him a rebel.

But in protecting Rikuson, he offers a counterpoint to both Jinshi and Rikuson's observations that he has neither malice nor virtue, good intentions nor bad. Perhaps it is just that Rikuson has earned Lakan's liking and loyalty over the years, but it is growth.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Where Lakan has earned moments of redemption and growth, it is when he has shown that his fun is less important than those he cares about. There is an opportunity within the story for Lakan to act as Maomao's father in a way Luomen cannot - in the matter of her marriage.

If Lakan is willing to put all of his intuition and political cunning behind Maomao's choices regarding marriage and family, then he has the chance to finally perform an act of duty by his daughter that would establish a reason for Maomao to begin to display filial piety toward him.

But Maomao's marriage would absolutely challenge Lakan's fantasy of playing 'daddy'. It would literally require him to give away his child but more critically, it would mean giving up his fantasy of Maomao as a perpetual little girl and fully acknowledging the grown woman that she has become.

Whether Lakan is wiling to put Maomao's needs first above his own will be the crux of his character development. At no point has Lakan been malicious, but his carelessness has done more to shape Maomao's early life than any other influence. Could he do better? Perhaps. Will he? The answer to that question and how it affects Maomao's adult choices will shape his role within the story going forward - whether he will continue to doom the one relationship he wants more than any other in service of his own needs and fantasies, or if he will sacrifice them to do his duty by his daughter when it matters most.

[ravencincaide]

When you assume you make an ‘ass’ out of me and you 

Summary: Finding out you’re pregnant, you decide to end things over text. Too bad Chuuya and Dazai were NOT buying your poor excuses. Or the time you made them very happy. 

Pairing: preg! Reader x Dazai x Chuuya

Inspired by Sweetober prompt 5: Embracing 

Warnings: pregnancy, cursing, hint at (kinky) intimacy, 

Enjoy ~

______________________________________________________________

You were feeling like shit. And that was a huge statement considering that you had only ever taken a handful of sick days; turning up to work despite broken bones, staples keeping your skin somewhat together and internal bleeding. Cold was a minor inconvenience and sprained muscles could be forced to function. Ear inflammation was harder but still doable. After all, your job wasn’t all about active field work. A lot of it was information checking online, monitoring people or groups activities through other teams reports or keeping an eye on bank data so your team was within its budget for missions, leisure or other necessities. Damn, it was a miracle how you managed to fix it the last budging year when you had two subordinates who were the definition of shooting maniacs, one chronic alcoholic, and an illiterate clutz who could never find receipts or who somehow switched up numbers in their reports to the point of giving you a heart attack. 

Thereby being away even for a day not only risked your office becoming a shooting range, no work being done, missions delayed however, most importantly, your steady tower of paperwork growing into an unmanageable city. You were on your second week away from the office, with no real prognosis for when you’d feel well enough to be back. And you were dreading going back.

Your boss has turned up a few days prior, had taken a thirty second look at you before you ran to the bathroom throwing up and had essentially three things to say to you while you were hugging the porcelain pony:

“ If it’s a stomach bug, get it cured before you even think about entering the office. If you’re pregnant-” the words had made your head snap up in total shock at a possibility you hadn’t even considered. Seeing as your boss brought it up, clearly she thought that you might be. Maybe not that shocking given that you were fucking more than average “ and want an abortion then hurry up and get it done before its too late. And see you in the office at the end of the month.” You could practically feel the warning look from your boss through the heavy wooden door, threatening you not to sweep this issue under the carpet and to keep her updated. “ If you intend to keep it then get your prenatals in order and see you in three years.” With those words she, being the ever caring friend she was, dropped two packets of pregnancy tests on your desk before leaving you alone. 

When the results came back positive it was not necessarily a shocker. What surprised you more was that the nauseous feeling came as spontaneously as it did and how tired you felt most days. How exhausted thinking, or in your case overthinking, made you. It felt as if that little test, or five, somehow made you grow up overnight. From a carefree young adult doing whatever you wanted, missions, drinking or wild kinky sex you were suddenly expected within the next nine months to become a mother. A responsible and caring adult that would make yourself, your children and your own parents proud. You didn’t know if you were going to succeed with that but you were damn determined to give your baby the best childhood and care you could. And step one in that equation was to remove people out of your life who did not want a serious relationship with you or were interested in raising a baby together. You did not need forced commitment or alimony; what you needed was a partner and a father to your child. And since you were certain your lovers were not up to the role, you were certain you’d do a much better job alone by yourself- as always!  

Still you never expected you would become the kind of trashy person who’d end things over text. You couldn’t understand how people could do it; either talk to the person you want to break up with or do a Dazai and just ghost. This felt too much like attachment issues wrapped in apology for you. Knowing you were already gonna earn a place in hell for it, you typed up a message that you were certain they’d hate you for. Which was perfect in your mind, if you were shooting yourself in the foot by breaking up with two executives who outranked you and your boss by a mile then the least you could do was make sure they wouldn’t unnecessarily seek you out. You’d deal with their revenge on you when you got back from parental leave. 

Thus when the sound of pounding on your door came many hours later you were certain it was your boss again. Either to scold you for the extra workload she got from her bosses thanks to yours truly or to kidnap you to the hospital. Dragging yourself out of bed with a groan you quickly ran a brush through your hair for a more presentable appearance. Giving up on changing out of the t-shirt and shorts you headed for the door, opening it absentmindedly. Too late you realized you should have checked who it was. 

“ What the hell are you two doing here?” You asked, making your meanest look as you crossed your arms over your chest. You were certain it looked more like a chihuahua barking at a rottweiler than anything threatening.

“ Checking if it’s a hostage situation, Bella” You gaped as Chuuya and Dazai brushed past you. Your dark haired ex-lover making his way to your bedroom, hand on the hilt of his gun. Before you could stop him, Chuuya, who was still lingering in the doorway, forced your attention by sticking his phone into your face with your textmessage pulled up on the screen.  

Thank you for this time, I’ve found a better dick. No hard feelings.

“ What is this damned thing?” He asked, his voice far above the usual caring and loving tone he’d use with you. 

“ What does it look like?” You raised your hand and studied the chipped manicure on your nails no longer able to stand the angry and hurt expression on his face. “ I’m breaking up with you, duh.”  

“ Heeh what the hell do you mean by that Y/N? Better dick?” He took a step closer to you, his expression growing darker by the second “ We all know you’re a slut for us, ready to let us do whatever we want to you so stop lying and spit out what’s really going on.” he was gripping your arms tightly. When you refused to look at him he gave you a rough shake in warning. 

“ What the hell-” you caught your exclamation that ‘it hurts’ knowing that it was exactly what he was going for at that moment. “ It’s as I said, I found someone new”

“ How long?!” he didn’t yell but somehow that made it even worse. When you didn’t reply immediately he shook you again “ And what’s so great about this supposed new person.” 

You felt your eyes sting and closed them for a moment, taking a deep breath to steady your nerves. Your next sentence was a hit below the belt; “ They’re actually sweet and caring towards me. Not just after sex.” 

“ Sweetheart-” the look on Chuuya’s face was as if you had slapped him, the arguments caught in his throat. 

You looked away from him, shaking his hands off your shoulders. Your heart was tearing itself in your ribcage, Begging you to stop this nonsense. But you wouldn’t- you couldn’t. You needed to protect the child in your tummy, to shelter them from the constant fighting, every other week visitation, jealousy and screaming. You needed to  prevent them from becoming a pawn in a game called ‘hurt the other parent more’.

“ Sweetheart, do you really believe that-?” Chuuya asked carefully.  

“ -Or is it just that you are pregnant Y/N?” Dazai’s question made you jump, your head snapping in his direction. You could see him leaning against the doorway, an unreadable expression on his face. Damn you hated it when he did that. 

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about '' you lied, back to crossing your arms over your chest. “ I’m done with this conversation so please get out.” 

“ Come on Y/N the cats out of the bag now” Dazai looked almost too pleased with himself as he held up the pregnancy test he had fished out of the trashcan. 

You felt the colour drain from your face. Your mouth opening and closing as your mind raced between forcing them out of your apartment and lying about it, again. 

“ Is it a false positive?” Chuuya asked cautiously, eyeing the brunette. 

“ There are five more in there,” Dazai shrugged, silently telling him to draw his own conclusions, as he took a step towards you. You cursed yourself for not taking the trash out sooner.  

“ Is it ours?” The question made you hang your head in defeat. “ Belladonna is it-” Dazai growled in warning. 

“ Yes” you breathed. You could feel them sharing a look of utter confusion between each other over your head. 

“ Darlin, then why the charades?” 

“ Because you wouldn’t want it!” you screamed at the top of your lungs “ and I- we don’t need a partner out of obligation.”   

Silence lingered in your apartment for a few long moments. You wrapped your arms around yourself. You just wanted them to stop making this harder on you than it already was. Now that they knew the reason for all this, you prayed they wouldn’t cause any more hassle and just silently walk out of the apartment. That they’d walk out of your life and leave you alone. Without any fighting, pity or compromises. Just go, you pleaded silently, before you’d find yourself regretting your decision.   

“ You assumed we wouldn’t want it,” Chuuya corrected you. You raised your head finally facing your lover, ready to scream at him- them to get out. The scream never made it past your lips, his expressing killing any arguments you had left;  you had expected distress or anger on his face, maybe sadness or guilt but all you could see was a bright happy smile. “ And when you assume something you make an ‘ass’ out of me and you. Now come here my sweetheart” he spread his arms out beckoning you for a hug. 

You had never seen that expression on Chuuya’s face. It was as if you had gifted him the sun and moon on a silver platter. You felt all fight fading out of your body, leaving behind just tiredness and longing for his warm embrace.Cautiously you came up to him, breathing a sigh of relief as he hugged you close yet gently to his body, burying his face in your shoulder. “ Oh sweets you’re gonna be a mother- I’m gonna be a father!” 

“ Or uncle” Dazai added unable to stop himself from pushing Chuuya’s buttons“ You’re so cute Chuuya ready to be a dad to my kids”  

“ Shut it mackerel” Chuuya muttered “ You’re just jealous she’s hugging me.” 

“ And you’re just denying the undeniable” 

Chuuya growled in reply before biting back the anger, turning his attention towards you instead. The smile never once leaving his face “ So don’t you dare try and break up with us over this again, ‘kay?” Chuuya moved  back and pressed a kiss to your forehead before brushing your hair out of your eyes “- or you’re welcome to break up with bandages over there”  he teased, making you smile slightly as Dazai let out an annoyed ‘ you dog’. 

Surprisingly the argument didn’t go any further than that. Instead Dazai’s attention was shifting between you in Chuuya’s arms and the little white test still clutched between his fingers before he finally broke the silence:“ By the way Belladonna have you had your doctors visit yet? To ensure the little one is fine.”

You sighed, shaking your head a no. “ I haven’t really got around to it yet” 

“ That won’t do!” Chuuya cried pulling back from you instantly, his hand already dialing his subordinates, while he was walking towards the door then turning around and pacing back into your room“ Yes I need you to find the best prenatal care doctor in Yokohoma- yes directly I don’t care how much they charge- Sweetheart where is your insurance and identification card?” 

You blinked as he stopped in front of you, blue eyes staring at you intensely “ umm In the kitchen, furthest cupboard to the right- top draw. Should be under the travel pamphlet.” Before you could finish your sentence he was already out of the room going to hunt for your documents. 

Still you could hear him talking on the phone, beginning to list a bunch of things he wanted delivered to your place within the next fifteen minutes; childcare books, research on food that was safe to eat during pregnancy, alcohol- he was clear to specify it was for himself- and some safe alcohol free options.

“ - and prepare statistics on best child care facilities in Yokohama, and broker offers for all the housing around those areas -and–” 

“ Chuuya don't just start randomly buying things” you yelled, staring to follow behind him pausing only when a very gentle hand wrapped itself around your wrist. In fact you were half way pulling out of the touch before your mind registered it. The unusual softness surprised you. Usually Dazai was unapologetically rough during sex; unafraid to slap, hit or even whip you and it was Chuuya who showed you in butterfly touches, kisses over bruised skin and soft embraces.

“ Let him be Y/N” Dazai stated, his voice sounding strange in your ears. His hand falling away from your wrist the instant you turned to face him. You could see that his head was bowed, his hair covering his eyes from you. Sometime during your and Chuuya’s embrace he had moved to sit down on a nearby chair. Wordlessly he patted his lap, silently asking you to sit down instead of the usual act of just pulling you into it. You looked at him skeptically as you took your place on his lap. The moment you did he buried his face in your shoulder, his arms pausing inches above your skin as if you’d shatter in his arms if he touched you.. 

“ Are you okay?” You asked as you urged him closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Taking it as permission he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you carefully to his chest, burying his face in your hair. He held you like that for a few moments, totally silent but for an almost unnoticeable shake of his shoulders “ Dazai, are you crying?” 

His response was to bring you even closer

“ Dazai, are you okay?” You asked again with more worry in your voice. He hushed you, stroking your hair. You were starting to panic at his reaction, your mind racing so much that you almost missed his answer to your previous question; 

“ I’m more ‘okay’ than ever, Y/N”

[bwabys-scenarios]

If you still write Hunter x Hunter stuff, can you do Illumi trying to get his baby to smile while his wife watches?

Tough Crowd

Illumi x Reader

Illumi was a handsome men to most women, but to babies… he was terrifying.

Growing up, every time his mother gave birth to another baby, he would quickly be banned from seeing the newborns.

His big dark eyes and pale face would scare the babies into crying fits, and eventually they gave up trying to get them used to him.

So when his new wife found herself pregnant, he tried his best to at least attempt to seem less threatening… to little success.

His first meeting with his child was shortly after her birth. He peered over her, pulling down the blanket to get a better look.

Illumi could barely contain his excitement. There was nothing more he wanted than a large family, and she was the first to get him closer to his dream. He found himself smiling down at her, widely.

The opened it’s eyes, looking up at her father for the first time, only to see a pale face and black orbs staring back at her, an ominous grin on his lips.

A loud cry left the baby’s mouth, causing (Name) to pull the baby into her arms and coo softly.

“Illumi, sweetheart, I love you with my entire soul but please don’t smile like that at the baby, you looked like a creature of the night.”

Illumi tilted his head.

“Is it not my child? She’ll be training to be an assassin. At birth I wasn’t that easily frightened, and I had been my parents would have subjected me to much more terrifying things to crush that fear.”

(Name) stared at him for a second, noting another reason in her head to never leave her baby alone with Illumi’s parents.

“Darling she just needs time. Just let her get used to you, and she’ll come around eventually.”

But Illumi being Illumi, he decided that training himself to be more like able would maybe help.

“Sweetheart, why are you staring in the mirror with that expression?”

(Name) placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“….nothing. Let’s get to bed.”

After three months of intense training, he was ready to face her again.

It was the perfect opportunity after all. (Name) was leaving for the day to visit her friends, and for some reason she wouldn’t allow any butlers to care for her.

“I’ll be gone for just a few hours to meet up with Kurapika, Leorio, Gon, and Killua. No I will not ask Killua to come home, but I will tell him you said hi.”

She kissed Illumi’s cheek, then her baby. This was the first time she had felt comfortable enough to be away from her baby, so she had a few worries. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Illumi to be competent enough to watch the baby, in fact it was the opposite. She feared he might over do it.

“I made a list of things you need to do. Stick to the list, no more, no less.

With that, she was gone. She arrived at her meeting spot much quicker than she thought she would.

“(Name), it’s so great to see you!”

Kurapika surprised her with his words. She turned around quickly to see him and Leorio, each carrying a wrapped gift in their arms.

(Name) grinned, walking forward and wrapping them both in a hug.

“It’s great to see you both as well. It’s been… rough.”

Soon everyone was there, talking and trying to figure out where they should eat. It was already decided that (Name) wouldn’t be paying for her food, killua and Gon would be buying her meal as a baby shower gift.

None of the four had been able to attend due to… tense family situations and their own Hunter obligations, but now they could finally meet up!

They decided on (Name)’s favorite restaurant in town. They ate, drank, and had an amazing time together. Poor (Name), Killua, and Gon were left out of the drinking, though.

After a bit, they all went their separate ways, and (Name) found herself being escorted through the Zoldyck estate. A butler held her gifts in one hand, and opened the door to her and Illumi’s shared room with the other.

Inside was a Illumi, sleeping on the bed with their baby lying on his chest. (Name) put a hand on her mouth, holding back tears.

“My babies are finally getting along…”

For a moment all was peaceful, until (Name) started to notice some… irregularities.

Her husband wasn’t his usual clean self, instead his shirt was covered in baby food. His usual flawlessly smooth hair was messy and tangled.

She looked around the room to see it was a mess!

The butler from before cleared his throat.

“I can show you what happened, if you like.”

(Name) was led to a small camera room, displaying each room in the house. She decided to not express her disturbances with being filmed constantly and instead sat in front of the monitor showing her room.

“Let me rewind to about an hour ago.”

As the butler turned back the time on the monitor, there were flashes of color. She grimaced, already afraid of what was to come.

“Here is where it all started.”

The monitor showed Illumi and her child, the former cooing at the latter with a blank expression. When the child cried, he frowned and switched to trying to feed her.

That just resulted in a mess of baby spit and food all over him.

(Name) tried to suppress a laugh to little success.

Next, he tried peek-a-boo, but that only made her cry louder. He was beginning to think his baby may fear him forever, when something changed.

As illumi leaned forward to put her to bed, her screams turned to soft coos. He felt a soft pull on his hair, which told him to look for the source.

There she was, softly pulling at his hair, a big smile on her face. Illumi gently pat her back.

“You like daddy’s hair, huh?”

She giggled in response.

The rest of tape consisted of illumi climbing into bed, holding their daughter as she played with his hair, the two eventually falling asleep together.

(Name) smiled, leaving the room and going to visit with Kalluto as her two babies slept.

[kel-lance]

Stepdad Nanami

——MDNI——GROOMING, not really incest, Age gap, manipulation, broken home, slut shaming (at ur mom lol), drug mention—————-

You knew your mom’s marriage had about 3 years at most, you had to give it toher that 5 with the same man would have been a new record if she was only with him for that time.

It wasn’t your business. If you had anything to say the men would blame you and say you were just like her. 

You didn’t care about those guys, and they never lasted long with your mother anyway. It was like this for the first 16 years of your life until your mom met a handsome man, who became your stepfather after 2 years of dating your mother 

He was always nice to you, he did everything a good dad should. He got you a car, went all out on your birthday, he wasn’t tying to win you over, he was just that great, he made you change your mind about men. (maybe it was just the kind you mother kept running to)

It was heartbreaking the day he say you down, before he could explain his face sank. He covered his eyes and sighed as he explained that he’s serving your mom with divorce papers. he feels bad to bring you into this but he had to ask

You’re an adult now, you can make your own decisions, but I wanted to give you the chance to get away from her. I don’t mean any offense, but I know for a fact she’s going to use you or worse.

he was right on the money, sometimes she used you to lure in those strange men, where she’d threaten to tell their wives or police what they thought they were doing with you. It was just her type, people who could compare her to parts of herself. In this case, she was sick enough to use her daughter as bait.

You were safe though, it never got further than forceful kisses to tape as proof. That hag just had it out for you but would never consider sharing.

You immediately take his hand as you wanted to move out for years. You’re 21 but she’s had control over you. People always say just leave, you’re an adult so she has no power.

Try living your life as a flea in a jar or a frog in a growing boiling pot, there’s a whole world out there and yet you were taught your limits. 

Your eyes pleaded for him to take you away. You didn’t care, you felt closer to him than anyone. You knew it could be wrong, but he said it himself, you’re an adult now. And your mother wouldn’t be upset about sharing since he’s leaving her. 

You climb onto his lap and lay your head on his neck, his hand now slid down his face, covering his mouth as his other hand patted your head closer to him.

“Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.” He promised. 

The next week sure were hectic. You had to plan out what to take, gathering all your important documents and essentials. 

Nanami daddy got a studio for you both, in a matter days you had everything moved out of the house while your mom was on her bender. Her lapses of being with one man for months then going to whoever after was just part of her fun. She didn’t need them for anything other than attention.

Sometimes you wonder what your father was like, if he could’ve treated you better than her if she didn’t have u trapped in her body for months. U don’t want to know what she did while pregnant with you either. 

You were given this chance. Your stepdad leaving, and he was taking you with him. He saw what kind of life you both had. He found no sympathy for her as she was the adult. He stayed for you. 

A child should be cared for, loved. He didn’t get that from you at all when you first met. Just 16 and you avoided him like the plague. it gave him an indication of who was usually around.

He didn’t lure you out with gifts or make the first move. He just entertained your mother, as he did find something amusing with her. She was fun, but at home she’s a terrible mom and that wasn’t anything he found respectable. 

It wasn’t until the 4th month that he was still around that you just found it weird. No ones usually around this long. Mom was probably having a lot of fun with this idiot you thought.

The 6th month came and you started to come out when he was around. If he was in the kitchen, you wouldn’t wait for him to leave the space before making it yours. It was your house after all, you were going to remind him.

It was weird, but you were getting jealous of him being around. Your mom couldn’t stick to one thing, much less take responsibility and take care of you. Why was he so special? Why did she /want/ to see him?

You felt hatred grow in you as he noticed the posters on your wall, the music you played, how you dressed. For your 18th, he’d gotten you tickets to one of your favorite band’s shows. How the hell did he- and the small gifts like stickers of said posters, he made it so you weren’t surprised when you received yet another reward after accomplishing something, even the smallest thing. “Because you deserve it.”

You didn’t know if it weirded you out, that he was being so nice to you, or that he was your mom’s fiancé and you had him under you. 

That hate boiled over one day and you just had to get it out somehow. He was always patient with you, as you asked to talk to him. It surprised him, but it was definitely a step forward. 

He sits on the same side of the table as you, facing each other, your opposite arms touching the table.

“Are you upset about the wedding?”

You don’t say anything, your eyes darting, answering his question.

“I’m sorry (y/n), but it’s for the best. (M/n) said you’ve seemed happier since we got together.” Your stomach sank. “I could keep-“

You grasp out for his dress shirt sleeve, looking up at him, somewhat between crying and pouting, asking him to stop talking. 

His eyes widen. “(Y/n)…” You take his hand, bringing it to your body. You place his palm under your shirt, watching his face go from confused to flustered. His stoic personality wavering, you hold onto his arm and jump onto his lap. 

You could already feel it, he was so hard under you. 

“(Y/n)!” He takes his hand back, putting you back onto your chair. His stern look scared you. He’s never looked like that around you, only because you were always well behaved, or rather just kept to yourself. He never expected this from you. But you were your mother’s daughter. 

His hand around the wrist you let him feel you with. You didn’t know if you had just fucked up big time. Was the wedding off? You just wanted him to yourself and had to let him know. 

The look you gave him almost made him feel bad for treating you right the past few years. 

you werent used to that, you didn’t know any better. the anger you were feeling was from a lot of things. why did someone like your mother get to marry someone like him? 

Why weren’t there more people like him? If there were you would have been saved a long time ago, but instead, you’re giving it all to the first person who’s shown you you’re more than an extension of your mother. 

Thankfully he was just a man, and that yearnful, pathetic, desperate look a young girl could give to melt a man’s morals, he kissed you.

He keeps kissing you, almost like he was teaching you how he liked it, you didn’t mind, you didn’t care about anything else. Your mom could walk in right now and you’d show off how much better you were for nanami. 

That didn’t have to happen though. As his large hands found their way to your hips and he slowly brings you back to his lap. And after that day you were his. 

He stopped himself so many times to not take you just yet though. It wasn’t until the weeks leading up tot he wedding that he wanted you more than ever. And you’ve been more than patient. Only getting by with his touch and words of encouragement. 

You didn’t get why he still went through with the small wedding, maybe to just show off to everyone else, mislead them that he’s a good man, marrying into a good family, with an honest job and whatever else to solidify the lie. 

the next 2 years being the best you’ve ever had, up until your mothers alcoholism started to catch up with her. Her need to find solace in addictions, whether it was the validation of men, gambling, sex, any other drug, she was a mess. Everyone believed Nanami would be able to fix her, but her last blackout caused you to get a sprained wrist and black eye. That was when nanami had enough. 

Spoiler for part 2: Nanami's divorce lawyer fucks his step daughter (Hiromi makes an appearance.)

[riddles-fiddles]

Octavinelle boys with a pregnant S/O

Synopsis: I'm dealing with terrible baby ferver so I need to get this out of my system. Headcanons to how the boys react to your pregnancy all thorough the months (part 2) Characters: Azul Ashengrotto, Floyd Leech, Jade Leech Tags: SFW, fluff, domestic fluff Notes: AFAB gender neutral reader, cw pregnancy and birth

•·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°••·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°••·.·''·.·•ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

⁀➷ Azul Ashengrotto — make sure to give him the good news while the man is safely sitting down, or else you'll see him go weak on his knees. Azul prides himself on his collected demeanor and carefully woven expressions - vital skills for his business-oriented persona - but then he is inevitably crumbling down, staring at the positive pregnancy test wide-eyed, struggling to find something clever to say. His mind is racing wild but no rational thoughts are able to fall from his lips, so all he can muster is a very low, shaky "I am… going to be a father?"

Give him some time to digest the news and you'll be met by a very gentle, tender hug from the octomer. Azul is both thrilled and terrified of this new chapter of your shared life; he longed to achieve the same kind of love his mother and step-father shared with each other, to be cared for and desired in such a selfless and devotional way, inspired by the way their love reflected upon his own upbringing. On the other hand, however, his insecuriities threatened to surface once again, doubts and ghosts from the past whispering wicked lies about his worth as a future parent. He doesn't want to fail on you and the child, as a partner or a father, and though he's equally worried about the emotional aspect of parenthood, he sticks to the importance of material goods - they're more on his comfort lane and he does it flawless to ensure your growing family can have everything of need.

(Please leash him while shopping for nursery furniture or else he'll make the baby's room a monochrome nightmare)

Azul showers you with gifts almost everyday: jewels, clothes, accessories… anything he knows you like or make any minimal comments about, being his way of showing how much he loves and cares for you, and as you progress through the stages, he takes more leaves from Mostro Lounge. He loves his work, but you are the lighthouse of his life, the one he cherishes and clings to on stormy or bright days, and the pregnancy only fueled his sense of loyalty and sincerity to you. His cafe actually comes in handy when the cravings start, and Azul isn't even an ounce ashamed to take advantage of the students working under his contracts to request them to make whatever you hunger for, though it was a surprise at first to discover about that particular characteristic of human pregnancy; he was amused nonetheless, but then he will be more careful when handing your requests. He's a very attentive partner, though it could be hard for him to express all the emotions that bubbles within his chest, sometimes too worried about being 'too emotional', scared to say something and make himself a complete fool. He kneads the stress away from your body with careful fingers and helps you out on regular tasks - shampoo your hair, put your shoes on, change clothes.

When the big day finally comes, Azul is already set and ready to go. Fret not, for the darling octo-mer has picked only the best, comfiest and quietest room for the delivery with only the best nurses on the hospital and has already set a very special menu for you to indulge in after all your hard work. But suddenly he is panicking, the danger of human birth finally sinking in as he watches the way you writhe and sob on the bed, but he can't do much but hold your hands tightly and hope for the best as the nurses help you around. When his baby is finally placed over his arms and Azul gazes upon the serene features of the tiny bean, all his terrors and doubts melt away, exhaling out a sigh of relieve and renewed joy - Azul realizes he's madly in love with you and the frail life that lays withing his grasp. He understands that there's no need for him to be perfect, either.

⁀➷ Floyd Leech — very excited from the idea of having a mini Floyd running around the house, a pocket-sized partner in crime, but to expect he would be an exceptional partner is, unfortunately, wrong. Floyd is very complex and his emotions are hard to keep controlled, and now that you are pregnant, he becomes somewhat more intense because of your own hormones and the anxiety of parenthood gripping on his neck. He does tries his best to get his moods in check, though - he doesn't want you to be stressing over him, knowing how dangerous it could be, so whenever he feels like his mood is about to change drastically, he walks away to take a breath. Things can turn into quite a ruckus if you end up experiencing those annoying changes at the same time though, as Floyd struggles to understand why you're snapping at him all of a sudden when he was just asking you something. Jade helps him understand that you're extremely hormonal and how it affects your humor and helps you keep his brother's own on check.

He's a lot more possessive and protective of you now, if not clingier. Floyd will be wrapping his arms around your figure any chance he gets, and when in public he'll always be intertwining your fingers together or holding you by the waist, getting annoyed every time someone comes asking to touch your bump - "I'm the only one who should be allowed to touch my Shrimpy's belly! Strangers have no bussiness being so close to you." Going to the doctor is always amusing because that's the moment Floyd looks the most concentrated than you can ever remember. Human pregnancy is something so new and weird for him, he's totally enthralled; what do you mean you don't lay eggs? Oh, you're just like a whale! How fun! Though he is entertained from all the information he's learning, Floyd is lowkey terrified of the birthing process (he's flabbergasted to know human babies can come out the size of a small watermelon), but he does his best to calm you down, and if you'd prefer to get a c-section, then he'll totally support you! During the preparations for the baby's room, Floyd will prefer to decorate it with ocean-themed stuff, having a blast with the assorted toys you two have bought and you're worried he might be more excited with them than your child. You know that one meme of the dad stealing the kid's tricycle? Yeah, that's him.

The delivering day comes, and Floyd is a whirlwind. He's more scared than you and it shows, no more jokes or smart remarks to try and hide his desperation, only panic, and you need to calm him down, even though he's not the one dealing with hellish contractions. Also, for the love of all Sevens, do not allow him to drive. Once you two get in the hospital, Floyd makes use of scary eel privilege to swiftly arrange a delivery room for you and suddenly almost all the nurse staff is mobilized to take care of you. Floyd can't bear the idea of leaving you alone not for even a minute, so despite the recommendations, he'll sit through hours by your side even if he's tense and stiff, holding your hand tightly. Bless the nurses who'll be helping you, because they'll have to deal with Floyd going through all the emotions known to man. Don't worry though, once he knows his shrimpy and little fry are safe and healthy, he'll turn back to the usual easy-going happy Floyd.

⁀➷ Jade Leech — Jade is surprised to receive the news. Similar to Azul, he does have a bit of knowledge about human's particularities and biology, but he wasn't expecting for you two to be compatible, especially since he's a much more 'feral' kind of merman. Nonetheless, he's happy with the prospect of growing a loving family with you... though by the progression of months, he grows the most worried. He's relieved to see the way you glow, how you seem healthy, but intrusive thoughts sometimes creep on the back of his mind. What if something happens? What if your body rejects the child because of his eel-merman genes? What if— but then you come to him squealing about how you felt the baby's first kick, and suddenly he's relaxing, his heart washed from any lingering fears. He pulls you closer and lays his head on your bump, humming quietly as he feels the baby slowly settling down.

Jade does his own research just to be sure he's doing everything right and what to expect from the significant changes you two are inevitably experiencing, insisting on working out a routine of exams and appointments, always so attentive to every little detail and medical advice. The bad thing is, he strictly follows them, which means you won't be able to snatch something unhealthy for all of your pregnancy; even if you're trying to tiptoe your way to the fridge, Jade somehow knows, he's right there to remind you about 'doctor's orders'. He's got the best of intentions, though he may look too strict. But don't fret! As soon as mama Leech gets word about your pregnancy she's coming to help! Jade actually listens to her tips, recognizing her very valuable experience on the matter and trusting mama knows best. At least you get to eat some cheat food here and there - Jade's shocked and extremely entertained to be taught that humans believe that a baby could be born looking like a certain kind of food if the mother doesn't eat whatever she's craving, and so he indulges you into whatever you ask him to cook. Similar to Floyd, Jade grows more possessive of you, especially when out in public. He dislikes the attention your bump attracts, cautious of ill-intentioned people, so when your belly has grown to it's full glory, Jade gives curious passerbys a piercing cold look while you're not aware, and then carries on to grocery shopping, whispering sweet praises to your ear like the entire mall isn't turning heels as fast as possible the moment they land their eyes on you both.

When the baby's due date comes, Jade is the ever collected and relying gentleman you need. Since he's such a good observer and has kept track of every little thing during your pregnancy - mood swings, body changes, smell and heat - he already has a suspicion you're about to go into labour, so he has prepared everything you might need even before you can shout about your water breaking. It's so endearing how he already looks like a dad - diligently guiding you through the hospital halls, big maternity bags hanging on his shoulders as he coos quietly about how everything is going to be ok, how you're going to be a great parent and how much he loves you. If you ask him to stay with you on the delivery room, he'll gladly let you squeeze his hand into oblivion and look unaffected, watching as you work for hours on end with a ressuring smile and the most sincere devotion on his eyes, totally enthralled by your resilience.

[muzanswaifu]

A Step Ahead

Yandere! Tomioka x Fem! Reader

18+

After celebrating New Year's in the city with your friends, it's time to go home for the night. A man is behind you. What will you do?

This is a game I've come up with where I will provide you with a couple paragraphs of story then give you choices for what actions the reader takes next. The winner of the poll will be the next section of the story the I will give you guys the next round of choices until the fanfic is concluded. Smut will occur at some point. Please join!

Warnings: Yandere, Smut later on

“We’ll see you later!”

“Yeah, see ya!”

You slowly turned away from them, walking down the busy street toward the eastern exit, passing several parade mascots and prancing dancers covered head to toe in loud clothing. The New Year’s Festival was always busy, but this year seemed to be especially popular, almost twice the amount of people than usual. You also were only visiting the city to visit friends and celebrate, but it just seemed so strange that everything was so crowded. Lines were longer for games and food couldn’t be made fast enough. You nearly didn’t stay long enough for the fireworks due to such overstimulation but with some pestering and blackmail by your friends, you bore through it long enough.

Quite honestly, you didn’t even want to spend so long in the city tonight. If you were up to you, you all would have gone to the festival, played a couple games, ate some food, watched a stage play, then gone back to someone’s home to lie around and gossip. But the ladies insisted you stay out all night, fooling around and even flirting with some boys that your fathers most certainly wouldn’t have approved of you talking to. It’s not that you minded too much being out and about, but it’s just… not what you had in mind for tonight specifically. You’ve been quite a bit anxious as of late, something felt off. You couldn’t point it out just yet, but the hair rising along your nape whispered cautions into your ear like a prophecy. It felt as if something were to go wrong at some point, so might as well quit while you were ahead.

Unfortunately, you didn’t live in the city like your friends. Your parents still had their residence in a nearby small village and as much as you would’ve liked to have moved out by now, you simply couldn’t afford it. Your job at the shop didn’t pay enough, you weren’t in a relationship, much less did you have a husband, and you just weren’t ready to leave home yet. Mother was pregnant again, much to your displeasure as you had grown quite tired of having so many siblings, and she needed help around the house that the others couldn’t provide. Your two older brothers were already moved out of the house doing their own things and your oldest sister gone and married. You were the oldest in the house now and that came with responsibilities. Mother nearly hadn’t let you come out tonight until Father convinced her to let you be young while you still could. Despite having turned eighteen all that time ago, he still treated you like a little girl. That had its perks fortunately.

Unfortunately it had its cons as well - curfews. You were leaving now and would still be late, but one could argue that was better than not at all. You would get a talking to at most. But the walk itself was a punishment in itself. The road to the village hadn’t been paved by the city yet due to its lack of popularity. Not many people traveled to and fro so it hadn’t become a priority. The wood was still thick this way of town, and despite the wildlife being marginally safe, the fear of the unknown was a danger more fearsome. You’d yet to experience an actual life threatening experience, but you hated to jinx it. The gravel was as coarse as ever, threatening your ankle with a twist and providing the soles of your shoes with a challenge. Save for the sparse lanterns lighting the path, darkness was smothering you and sending shocks of nervousness up your spine. Had it not been for the fireworks filling the area with light every few minutes, you might’ve turned back and begged one of your friends to let you spend the night.

The walk was relatively silent, a trill here and there from squirrels and rabbits but nothing too frightening. What was really bothering you was the crackling of branches and fallen leaves behind you. The sound seemed misplaced compared to its siblings to the left and right of you. That combined with the chill had you increasing your pace, desperate to get home and crawl into your warm, cozy bed already. The sounds quickened. You gasped.

A firework broke off just as you turned, light filling in the gaps between the trees and setting off a bomb of clarity to your surroundings. 

There was a man behind you... 

His vision disappeared far quicker than it came, the light only temporary as you were yet again accompanied by questions. You didn’t see much,  he was several yards away and taller you think, dark and messy hair. He could’ve been a mile away, short, and bright and you still would’ve been afraid. Who the hell trails behind someone like that in the dark? Unless… he was following you...

[jessicaslittlelovesickmess]

Burn Marks

Pairing: Larissa Weems x Reader

Warnings: Toxic!Larissa, mentions of pregnancy, angst, hopeful ending, hints of starving

Pt1

It destroyed you when she left you pregnant and with a hyper three year old who was full of questions of where her favoured mama is. It burnt your lungs with each lie you told her unable to state the truth afraid to scar the young girl the way you had been.

Soon enough your little boy Theodore had been born, named right after Larissa’s father who had the same blue eyes as her but your blonde hair. The more Delilah grew the more she shaped into Larissa the woman who had shattered your being.

Once Theo was old enough to attend Kindergarten you were off to rebuild the woman you once were, daily after the school drop off you hit the gym. You went back to school to study fashion something you had enjoyed, it was tiring but you wished nothing else.

At night the children would curl around you on the sofa as you read to them, a peace you had never felt before, a sense of security. Larissa had never tried to reach out not when Delilah had turned five or even ten, your children now sixteen and thirteen.

It took some time but finally you owned your own boutique while raising two children it was hard and sometimes you had to go without. Always making sure their little bellies were full, along the line you often wondered where Larissa was in life.

If she thought it was worth it

Now you sat across from her

“We’re here for our daughters enrolment”

Larissa shifted in her seat as she cleared her throat almost taken aback “right, I apologise” she nodded the air now thick. “So- uh how is she?” You shook your head “not quite the question Larissa” the woman couldn’t focus. Not when she had a straight view of your cleavage, not when you looked so great now she really began to regret.

“Look Larissa, I can help with Fundraisers whatever you need. Our daughters happiness means most so if you do anything to tarnish that” I threatened. “Everything will be paid in full by me and me only, I don’t want your charity nor your pity. You can fester in your guilt if you even feel guilty”.

“I said I was sorry Y/n” Larissa barked “I don’t care” you shrugged “you threw everything away! I gave every ounce of me up for you and you leave like our family was last weeks news”. You shot up from your seat “my body changing was only natural since I had your child! Me being tired was normal because I was working TWO jobs and RAISING OUR DAUGHTER, I WAS PREGNANT LARISSA!”

“I was pregnant and planning this wonderful life with you” your voice broke unable to face her “your actions burned me, they scar our children”. A sinking fell into Larissa’s chest “so tell me again how sad your life is, how hard it is now that you have to face your choices”

Call it Karma

“I loved you so fiercely that even two years after you left I would’ve welcomed you with open arms but no, we made our beds Larissa time to lay in them”

“I refuse to” the woman’s voice determined “well I have, I’m tired Larissa” you matched her energy “maybe I still love you”. You laughed at her words “love me? I thought you no longer love me isn’t that why you left? To find something bigger? Someone better? Or did you find only I would put up with your attitude?”

“You’re not being fair” Larissa stated only causing you to laugh “fair?” You faced her “I’m not being fair? Give me a break Larissa, fairness didn’t matter thirteen years ago when you up and split”.

Larissa knew you were right, of course you were you always had been and she knew she used you she didn’t feel bad about it.

“No you’re right but the past is the past Y/n or have you not changed?”

“Don’t humour me Larissa, I was forced to change. Our children needed at least one role model but you wouldn’t know what that’s like”

I was jealous she could pretend to be this great maternal principal when she was a horrible mother, she had abandoned her family. With a sigh I sat back down “it’s a crappy thing you did and I hope you can make amends with our children but for now any questions you have go straight to my assistant”.

Larissa cringed slightly “Your assistant?” You raised a brow “I’m not letting you back in so easily honey” resting against the back of your chair with a small smirk.

The blonde took it as a deal

[chaoticbardlady99]

She's My Religion (Part 1: She's Cold, She's Dark, She's Cynical) Astarion x F! Reader

   Hello! I have been plagued with an idea! Enjoy! This will probably be a four part story, but I am not sure just yet!

Title from song “She’s My Religion” by Pale Waves

CW: Parental death, grief, murder, domestic violence, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of emotional abuse.

Synopsis- You are a paladin under the Oath of Vengeance. You escaped the noble life that was unwillingly thrust upon you. Now, on your way to kill your evil step-father while trying to find a solution for the parasite in your head- you find out he’s promised your hand in marriage to Lord Cazador Szarr and that he’s taken your mom’s life. Looking for some comfort- you go to Astarion, but you don’t hear the words you were hoping for.

*Gif does not belong to me- could not find original owner

Karlach whoops and cheers as she releases you from a rib crushing hug- Wyll and Gale are grinning from ear to ear. You are all elated for her that Dammon was able to figure out how to cool down her engine- even if temporarily.

  You know that she doesn’t want to hear about the future and the harm not going back to Avernus will cause so you don’t say anything while Wyll tries to lecture her. You are barely listening as the two of them go back and forth, but when Wyll glances back at you with a look that screams, “Can you please help me out over here?”

  You chuckle at your close friend’s distress and shake your head at him. Wyll adores Karlach- you know he would give her his own heart if he could. He just needs to let her come to her own decision- you’d like to think that Karlach might decide to go back until they can come up with a permanent solution. However, at the end of the day, it’s Karlach’s decision. You are just as unhappy with the impending doom your bubbly companion is facing, but that is not your weight to carry.

  “Unfortunately Wyll, I am going to support whatever Karlach wants to do for as long as I can emotionally tolerate it,” you give Karlach a playful punch in the arm, “you’re not allowed to die on me, ya know?”

  Karlach rolls her eyes and smiles- pulling you in for an awkward walking side hug.

 “Don’t worry Soldier- I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

    You all begin to head back to camp from Last Light Inn when Jaheira calls you from afar, waving you over. You look at your companions and they look back at you- equally as confused. You tell them that you will catch up with them in a little bit and they leave you there alone. Cautiously, you walk towards her- she did just threaten to kill you not even 72 hours ago and what an eventful 72 hours it has been. 

  You killed a devil, almost died killing that Devil, found out Astarion’s life is in far more danger than initially thought, watched Astarion convince a weird man to drink himself to death, watched an even weirder man be inhabited by a dead lady, fought shadows, and now, Karlach can hug people. 

  Life could not be any weirder, but you gladly welcome it over the mansion you had been trapped in after your mother married your step-father. The day you escaped from there had been bliss- despite how much you miss your mother. Your mother had been of noble human blood before she met your father (an elf). After one late night tryst and falling pregnant, her title had fallen significantly. She married your father and you had all lived happily together in Baldur’s Gate. You grew up poor, but Duke Ravenguard always tried to make sure you and your family had been taken care of. You grew up with Wyll Ravenguard and you have been tight knit friends almost your whole lives. 

  Until you were 14.

  Count Bridril Von, a high Sorcerer, had not forgotten your mother nor her breaking her promise to marry him by becoming pregnant by another. After your father died, he found your mother and enchanted her to become a mindless puppet. She would break occasionally, but ultimately you were left to fend for yourself against your 9 step-siblings (5 girls, 4 boys) and Bridril Von- who enjoyed taking out all his anger and hatred for your father on you. The only times he would claim you as one of his own would be when you had competed in various competitions and won- outranking his sons. The publicity he got from having a little sharp shooter and for “raising his darling step-daughter after she so horribly lost her hero father” was incredible. You became a show pony- a pretty, malleable little thing that was forced to perform and excel so that she could be treated with basic respect.

 The minute you were able to escape the Mansion from the Hells, you ran to the docks, bought a ticket to Silverymoon, took an Oath of Vengeance, and now you are here with an illithid parasite in your head. At first you had thought you were the unluckiest person in the world when you were kidnapped by a mind flayer, but your companions have quickly made the whole journey worthwhile- Astarion especially.

  You had met him before in your previous life as a troublemaking bastard and you had had conversations before- nothing too crazy nor serious, just quips and flirting back and forth. Astarion had been at the mansion frequently or you at the palace because your oldest step-sister, Daisy Von, is (was?) due to marry Lord Cazador Szarr. It was no secret to anyone, not even Daisy, that Cazador wants to marry you due to your likeness of a long lost love of his, but you are not of royal blood. Cazador would lose his alliance with Bridril if he married his boorish, rebellious, and unwanted step-daughter- despite your many achievements. You were grateful. You didn’t want to marry the man and Daisy was foolishly smitten- she could have him for all you care. That was your mentality before you knew he was a Master Vampire.

  Your family and Astarion’s ‘family’ spent a lot of time together. Astarion had become your escort around the palace grounds because Bridril did not want you to take the spotlight away from Daisy. 

 Originally, it had been Pale Petras, but you had unceremoniously kicked him in the balls after he had said something rather unbecoming towards you and had to be physically dragged away by Leon before he tried to kill you or worse. Astarion had immediately taken a liking to you for that alone. 

  When you had stumbled upon each other at the beach after the Nautiloid crash, it had been a little over two years since you had last seen each other. Without the watchful eyes of Cazador, your friendship and romantic relationship has blossomed. 

   You had been weary at first, worried that he was just getting close to you because he knew how much it would piss off Cazador if Astarion were to be with the one person Cazador could not have. Now, you are about 95 percent sure that isn’t the case, but you remain alert- just in case. 

  You are used to being used for an upperhand in the world and you hope everyday that you are more than an advantage against Cazador to him because he truly means everything to you. 

  Which is maybe why you are quite agitated with Jaheira taking precious minutes away from you that could be spent with your love. You offer her a smile as she holds out a letter.

 “A letter? For me? Oh Jaheira, you shouldn’t have!”

   Jaheira hides her amusement behind a scowl, “it came through here magically. Rolan was able to calm down the little portal it came flying through- I suggest waiting until you reach Baldur’s Gate to be sending and receiving mail.”

   You apologize and walk towards camp, opening and reading the contents in the letter. The letter rips open your entire body and it feels like the ground is going to cave in. You read and reread the letter multiple times- standing between the edge of Last Light Inn and the edge of Camp, not even 5 feet away. 

  Tav,

  My name is Mary, I was your mother’s lady in waiting. You were always so busy that we never got the opportunity to meet. I am sorry to tell you that I only have bad news.

 The Count had received an offer from Lord Cazador Szarr two weeks ago regarding marrying you that he is not going to refuse- initially he was, but then you continued to not come home and he became bitter. 

  Cazador expressed urgency regarding getting you back to Baldur’s Gate. Bridril has hired mercenaries to hunt for you.

  Bridril killed your mother- the whispers in the castle say it was not an easy or quick death. My understanding is that you took an Oath of Vengeance so I hope Bridril is on your list. Your mother was the kindest woman I have ever had the privilege of meeting.

   I know she would want you to know that she loves you, is proud of you, is watching out for you, and knows you are off to do great things. 

  Keep vigilant and may Selune bless your path.

  -Mary

     No. This isn't happening to you. You are only days- maybe even a week or two away from going back home, killing Bridril, and freeing your mother. You were going to be a family again. You wanted to introduce her to your companions and buy a nice little home to live in with her like you used to when you were little. You were going to tell her all about your adventures, your time on the Pirate ship that took you to Silverymoon, your life there as a Paladin, and his whole fucking excursion.

   She’s gone and the wail that threatens to crack open your chest is suffocating. You quickly walk to Astarion’s tent, where you have been sleeping most nights, and he’s not there. Of all the times you really need him to not be doing anything and yet! You shove the letter back in the envelope and absentmindedly throw it to another part of the tent- not looking and not caring. Your grief feels like it may kill you and you just need to be held- to know and feel like you aren’t completely alone in the world right now. 

    After a brief chat with Halsin, you discover Astarion is hanging out with Shadowheart behind her tent. You make haste that way- hoping they won’t be too mad that you are interrupting their wine and gossip time. You had gotten back earlier than anticipated and in other circumstances you might wait until he is done, but you aren’t in your right mind. 

  You approach the tent and hear them talking on the other side, facing the forest, and sitting on a log. The tears begin to manifest in your eyes as relief floods you- you are so close to feeling okay again.

  “How bloody hard is it to nicely, lovingly tell someone that you’ve been deceiving them this whole time?”

  You stop dead in your tracks. 

  No. 

  “Look, there is no good way to say it,” Shadowheart says, “you just need to own up to it and then be honest about all of it.” 

 “Oh yes because ‘I planned on seducing you, sleeping with you, and manipulating you from the start’ is such a great opener,” Astarion scoffs, “there has to be some other way to make it flow with the rest of it. A better way to tell her.”

  “No need,” you speak up miserably, coming around the corner, “you just did. Wasn’t that hard was it?”

  Astarion and Shadowheart look absolutely shell shocked to see you standing there. Astarion looks like he’s about to throw up as he gets up and looks at you softly, a pleading, panicked look in his eyes.

  “Darling!” he says, getting up, laughing nervously“you’re back early. I- can we-”

  “Whatever we are,” you say with a glare, tears now pouring and with as much hatred in your voice as you can muster, “or whatever you were pretending I was to you- it’s over.” 

  Astarion’s entire face falls while he’s staring at you and he looks like he might cry, he opens his mouth, “Darling, pl-”

   Shadowheart looks like she is about to speak up for him too, but you are far too angry, far too hurt- far too lonely right now in the world to let yourself be tricked into staying with him. They are best friends, she’s probably in on it too. 

 “No! I hate you so much!,” the venom in your voice being watered down by your anguish, “I hate you more than I thought I could ever hate anyone- undead, dead, or alive! I trusted you and you used me for your own gain- so unkindly, go fuck yourself!”

   You spin around on your heels, race over to your tent, and tie the flaps tightly shut. You slump to the ground and just sob- grabbing your mother’s old blanket that you had stolen before you left. You scream into it silently and all the pain in your body is threatening to make you burst apart at the seams. You wouldn’t be surprised if you did. 

  In less than an hour you have lost your mother, Astarion, and potentially your freedom. Astarion had used you to get one up on Cazador and he succeeded. Now that he knows what Cazador’s ritual is- he’s decided he’s done with you and every step you make has to be done cautiously because one slip up and you are going to be the consort to a fucking Master Vampire after fighting to avoid this for so long. All because Astarion just had to poke the bear. 

Astarion signed your fate using your blood as ink.

   Your throat is raw and your head is pounding by the time your lungs feel like they know how to properly breathe again. You hear someone knock on one of the wooden beams of your tent and you scoff.

  “It’s just me Tav,” Wyll says softly, “can I come in.”

     You get up and untie the tent flaps numbly. You look at Wyll, eyes puffy and red- your face streaked with tears. As Wyll walks into your tent, you get a glimpse of Astarion looking crestfallen as you invite Wyll in. You just scrunch your nose up in disgust at him before closing your tent. 

    Wyll is sitting down on your bedroll and you sit down right next to him- both of you looking at the ground. Wyll gently puts his hand on top of yours and smiles at you with his signature gentle, I’m here, grin.

 “My mom’s dead, Wyll.”

  “What?” 

 “Bridril killed her. She had snapped out of whatever hold he had on her when he agreed to marry me off to Cazador,” you choke out between sobs, “he killed her for trying to protect me. Now? I am officially going to be married off to a Master Vampire the minute I step foot in Baldur’s Gate if Bridril has his way.”

  “Oh Tav…”

 “And then! To make matters even worse?,” you look at him with disbelief and your voice sounds borderline hysterical now, “I overheard Astarion and Shadowheart prepping his ‘I’ve been using you this whole time and I’m ready to break-up’ speech. He was trying to figure out how to be nice about it.”

  Wyll stares at you with bewilderment. He is absolutely silent as you break down sobbing again, but he pulls you into him and you put your head on his shoulder.

  “I fe-feel so alone,” you manage to say coherently, “and so frightened.” 

  “I know you do my dear friend,” Wyll strokes your hair as make a mess of his shirt, “but you have Karlach, Gale, Lae’zel, Halsin, Scratch, and even an Owlbear Cub for Gods sake!”

  You smile at the emphasis on your rather dangerous furry friend. Wyll had asked what you were going to do with him when you got back to Baldur’s Gate and when you didn’t have a plan- both of you were a little horrified. You both decided to send it to Daisy as an engagement present once it’s big enough to stomp on Cazador and Daisy mid-wedding.

  “And besides,” Wyll says, “you’re my closest friend. I won’t allow you to be alone nor face this alone. I’m probably the best monster hunter you know.”

 “You are also the only monster hunter I know.”

  Wyll rolls his eyes and smiles brightly at you, “That’s besides the point, but I am going to let you sleep. You look like you need it.” 

   Wyll places a soft kiss on your forehead before he leaves your tent.

  “Thank you Wyll.”

    He turns around and smiles, “Any time Tav.”

_________________________________________________

Tag-list: @spacebarbarianweird @domainoflostsouls

[90ekz]

icecreamman!reiner had no thoughts in his head when you walked to his truck with some kid. all he could think about was how your tits bounced with every step you took, and how your skin glistened in the sun.

icecreamman!reiner who thought it was endearing that you were getting a treat for the cute lil’ boy. the kid smiled so big when he got his ice cream, he felt his heart swell a bit.

icecreamman!reiner who tried to ignore the throbbing of his cock when you mentioned in passing that the kid in question was yours. that snagged onto something deep inside him, and all his desires threatened to bubble up just at the idea that your womb had been filled good enough to get you pregnant.

icecreamman!reiner who listened to your whole spill about how being a single mother was working well for you, and about how happy you were that you and the father ended on good terms, despite the fact that there was a line behind you.

icecreamman!reiner who can’t help but groan when you mention how much you want another baby.

icecreamman!reiner who hated seeing you go, but loved watching you leave. but hey, he definitely got them digits tho LMFAO

icecreamman!reiner who loves making his rounds in your neighborhood, with the hopes that you’ll come around.

icecreamman!reiner who’s shocked when you come by without your baby boy, but equally shocked when you beg him to take you to his place when he gets off. the baby was finally at his dad’s and you’ve wanted reiner more than anything since the first day you saw how gentle he was with your baby.

icecreamman!reiner who’s girthy, pierced cock leaves your head spinning like a rollercoaster ride everytime it pistons into your fat pussy. he refuses to let up, even with your screams of overstimulation bouncing off the walls.

icecreamman!reiner who whines & begs for you to let him knock you up again, and mutters into your ear how he’d be such a good dad, all while he fucks you sideways.

icecreamman!reiner can’t keep up with your stamina, especially as you fuck his cock through his third load, but lets a euphoric grin stretch his face when you finally let him cum inside.

icecreamman!reiner who’s cock get hard on impact when you text him that you’ve been feeling a bit morning sick a couple weeks later.

[veronicaphoenix]

writing updates ✨

I'm aware I haven't posted anything besides a short one shot in the last few weeks. I've been busy writing my MA's thesis which is due in a couple of weeks, and trying to cope with the chaos that is summer.

I'm just popping by to leave unedited short snippets for both The Unmaking of a Warrior, and the next chapter of Zutto 😇

The Unmaking of a Warrior — Epilogue Pt. 1

I couldn't stop thinking about it since that moment. The realization lingered in my mind, and throughout the day, it haunted me like a secret I was too embarrassed to admit—even to myself.

I wanted to be a mother. I wanted Noah and I to become parents, to bring a life into this world that was a part of both of us. I imagined a little one, a perfect blend of Noah and me, running through the gardens, learning to wield a bow or defend himself with a sword, just like his father.

At lunch, a swarm of butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach, their wings beating in rhythm with the thought of Noah getting me pregnant. My hands trembled slightly as I held my chopsticks, moving them aimlessly across my plate.

"You’re very quiet today," Noah observed, his voice soft yet curious.

I glanced up at him, caught off guard. His eyes, filled with a mix of curiosity and amusement, met mine. The faintest smile played at the corner of his lips, as if he knew I was hiding something.

"What’s going on in that little head of yours?" he teased gently.

"Nothing special," I replied quickly, lowering my gaze to my plate.

"Nothing special?" he repeated, not convinced by my response.

"No, nothing," I insisted, shaking my head, hoping to divert the conversation. But Noah wasn’t so easily deterred.

"This wouldn’t have anything to do with your reaction when you saw Lila in my arms, would it?" he asked, his voice laced with a knowing tone.

I felt my cheeks flush. "What? No, of course not."

"Are you sure you’re not having any thoughts about… us?" He leaned across the table, lowering his voice to a whisper, "About me… emptying myself inside of you?"

"Noah!" I hissed, glancing around quickly to ensure no one could hear. My face grew even warmer, and I looked away, mortified.

Zutto — Chapter Six

Lia brushed aside a lock of Noah's hair that threatened to fall over his eyes, and a memory from her teenage years suddenly flooded back. It was one of those weekends when Cristina had abandoned her, leaving her to spend the night at Noah's house. Back then, Noah slept like a log. At seventeen, his passion for music already coursed through his veins relentlessly, and many nights were spent working until he realized he should probably get some sleep and try to be a normal person. The nights he spent with Lia were no different—they would stay up late watching movies or talking. That particular night, she had fallen asleep before him but woke up earlier, giving her the chance to touch his hair while he slept, lightly snoring.

It felt surreal that, eleven years later, the same scene was playing out. Lia was certain he had the same expression, the same features. He still looked like a child, lost in his dreams. She was determined to protect him at all costs, just as he had done for her. It was the least she could do, beyond giving him her love.

Now, as adults, naked, their bodies were pressed together. Noah's chest rose as Lia made a futile attempt to tuck the lock of hair behind his ear. He stirred on the bed, and two more strands of hair joined the one Lia had tried to brush off his forehead, falling over his eyes and causing him to blink.

As soon as he saw Lia's wide eyes looking up at him and that smile that always cured his every ill, he couldn't help but smile back. He was fucking happy to wake up next to the girl he loved, especially with her naked under the sheets.

"Good morning," he murmured.

"Morning," she replied, trying to ignore the tingling sensation at the tips of her toes and the warmth spreading between her legs at the sound of Noah's sleepy, gravelly voice. His eyes, with their distinctly Asian features, looked beautiful in the morning—smaller, like two thin slits.

"You look wide awake. How long have you been staring at me?" he asked. His playful arrogance hinted at a self-assuredness that Lia was all too familiar with.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You've got some nerve," she shot back, equally accustomed to his confident, slightly egotistical humor.

With a burst of energy, he grabbed Lia by the waist and tried to tickle her. She rolled onto her side, giggling, until they were chest to chest, both lying sideways on the bed.

"No more than ten minutes," Lia replied, calming herself as she saw his brown eyes twinkle. "How did you sleep?"

[moodymisty]

May I request Vulkan taking care of his pregnant S/O and just over all being cute and fluffy?

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: Ahhh, it's about time someone asked for Vulkan. This is about as fluffy as I can make WH without completely losing the plot. I mean, we're in this hellpit for a reason, aren't we? Apologies for any offness for Vulkan, I'm still lore reading for him and his legion.

Relationships: Vulkan/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Pregnancy/Tokophobia warning, General 40kness but overall pretty bland and fluffy

Word Count: 935

A clash of blades, the sound of a ceramite gauntlet hitting a chestplate with inhuman force- Salamanders fight one on one in the large open space. The sky high above grumbles and threatens to downpour, but it hasn't smothered the Salamanders' fire just yet. Not that it isn't trying, with the smell in the air and the cold, moist wind on your skin.

You watch them, hearing the ringing of metal on metal and blood drip onto the stone ground as you wrap your arms tighter around yourself in the chill. Your rounded stomach serves to be the perfect place to rest them.

"Mother,"

You don't respond to the title right away, head only darting to the right once you see a massive pair of dark green boots enter your downturned vision.

You don't think you'll ever get used to being called that. Particularly with the prose that the Salamanders use. Not all of them use the familial title, but enough do that it still feels almost overwhelming. You wonder if Vulkan felt the same way, at first.

"Should you not be resting?"

Your eyes travel up the massive Astartes, up to a face staring down at you stoic and neutral, head tilted with the slightest curiosity. He turns away from you however, when you both hear another voice laugh at the Astarte's inquiry.

"If she will not listen to me about rest, she will surely not listen to you either."

Vulkan comes closer, his massive hand covers your shoulder and you purse your lips while shaking your head.

"I don't want to spend months stuck in a room. Can I not watch them spar for a few moments?"

You might not have many more chances to, if your child grows any larger. It's already a pain to do tasks that were menial not long ago. Though you can't complain, given the unsurprising nature. The child's father is a Primarch that towers over you, after all.

A Salamander gets toppled over by his opponent, but quickly regains his footing as you watch him defend himself. The man that had first approached you excuses himself, taking his exit and leaving you and his Primarch largely alone. Barely anyone would be able to hear you over the sounds of metal ringing, from both weapon and armor alike.

"We only worry for you."

Vulkan's gaze is soft, hand still firmly on your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. But as much as they do worry about your health, it also seems that his men get a pride in them, at their Legion Mother being here.

Vulkan could tell when you had first arrived that his sons rose just a bit higher, shoulders squared just a bit more, and even though they always fight with their all, Vulkan could tell they went just a bit farther beyond.

Taking to a kneel in front of you, the massive Primarch places the hand that was once on your shoulder on your stomach, despite him being unable to feel with the armor of his gauntlet impeding. It's the symbolism of the gesture that he desires foremost. Your body relaxes a bit.

"And how is the little one now?"

It will always strike you how incredibly gentle he can be despite his size and the sheer power contained within it. It must surely be a conscious effort to do so.

"Well, according to the apothecary." He looks towards you, and his hand once again moves to the side of your jaw. You lean into the surprisingly warm armor. His thumb brushes against your skin.

"And how are you?"

The question makes you laugh, for some odd reason. He doesn't ask why and simply waits for your answer.

"Tired. Aching. The fresh air is nice, though." Vulkan smiles.

"Your intuition was right, it seems." He's referencing your concern from a few months back, about your worry of the child of a Primarch taking a toll on your body. You grumble largely to yourself.

"One of the few times I hate being right."

The comment makes Vulkan struggle to hide a smile behind stoic expression. He worries underneath it; For your health, the health of the child, and so many more things. But you worry enough. As you should, you're the one who's health and strength is being tested every day by simply holding a such a life within you. He has never voiced these things- he wishes to be your strength whenever yours might falter.

You consider maybe returning to your private quarters, finally heeding Vulkan's advice to rest despite your complaints, until you notice a unique set of armor among the sea of deep green. It makes you perk up and curious look to see if your first inclination was correct. Vulkan follows your gaze, raising up to his full height.

"Commander Artelleus is going to join them?"

The commander of the Pyre Guard is nothing short of a violent force of nature, in stark contract to his surprisingly selfless nature. Any step you might've made to leave is taken back and idea abandoned.

"I'll stay just a bit longer then."

Vulkan laughs. Surely the commander with have his pride warmed when he tells him of your comment. But for Vulkan, casual, purehearted curiosity even in the face of such violence and brutality will always be one of his favorite things about you. Many times had you kept him company by his forge, even before he called you his beloved.

Vulkan gently moves to pick you up, sitting on his arm. Your hand grips the edge of his pauldron as you sigh at the feeling of your weight being taken off your legs.

"Very well."

[valaenatargaryensdragon]

Broken Wings

pairing: Fanon!Aegon Targaryen x Female OC

summary: Viserys I Targaryen is dead and Aegon's priority is saving his family.

Word count: 4,2K

Warnings: Angst, imprisonment, incest, threatening pregnant ladies, fighting, childbirth

"Come on, my love" Aegon urged hand tightening around Saera's. She huffed and panted feeling exhaustion seep into her bones the more she pushed herself to run. Aegon pulled her gently to run in front of him keeping an eye put behind him.

"I can't Aegon, I am too tired" Saera sobbed leaning against the wall. Her hand traveled to her eight moons big baby bump. The baby was restless feeling his mother's stress and from her hurried movement. Aegon looked behind him again before leaning against the wall beside Saera.

"You have to my love, we're almost there" He tried to keep his voice quiet. His hand skimmed to her baby bump trying to sooth the pain. She huffed pushing back her tears and nodded her head. He kissed her forehead and continued walking towards their destination.

Saera hated the sight of the dragonpit for the first time in her life, she felt like she journeyed all around of Westeros to reach it. Sunfyre growled sensing them approaching his area.

"Shhh, keep it down" Aegon demanded his dragon. Saera crouched down feeling her knees buckled beneath her. Aegon was by her side in a flash.

"No more running my love, just get on top of Sunfyre and we will be out of here" He assured. She nodded allowing him to help her up from the ground. His heart broke at the sight of her tears, some were shed for his father the dead king and some were form her discomfort, this pregnancy had taken a tole on her smaller body.

"Where do you think you are running off to?" Saera squealed in shock at the sudden voice. She twirled around to find Aemond standing a couple of feet away from them. Aegon pushed her behind his back glaring at his brother. If this were a different situation Saera's heart would have skipped a beat at his protectiveness but now she just leaned her weight on his back feeling exhaustion fill her senses.

"Let us go, Aemond" Aegon hissed angrily. Aemond smirked crossing his arms in front of him.

"Why should I? You are to be King and you decided to run away" Aemond took a step closer. Aegon pushed Saera even further back. She moved her arms to wrap around her belly, she was terrified. She did not know why Aemond was trying to stop them, could it be that he wanted revenge for the bullying he suffered on the hands of Aegon? But that was many years ago, had he not let go of it?

"Please Aemond" Saera begged. His gaze softened at the sight of her teary eyes, she was like a sister to him, Helaena loved her as such too, his dear wife.

"There you are!" Saera screamed when hands wrapped around her from behind pulling her away from Aegon. He turned to look at her shocked, Ser Criston Cole stood behind her holding her in place with his dagger against her neck. Aegon's only weakness and sadly everyone knew, he has never tried concealing his feelings towards her before, he never thought anyone would take advantage of them.

"What are you doing? How dare you threaten my wife?" Aegon questioned angrily. He did not dare take a step closer in fear of Saera getting hurt.

"The queen and Hand are awaiting you, your grace" Cole answered plainly. Aegon knew of Cole preferring Aemond over him but he did not think he would do such a thing to a princess of the seven kingdoms, Saera was still the daughter of princess Rhaenyra and granddaughter of King Viserys.

"You don't understand, I am not suited to rule! I have no sense of duty or knowledge of ruling" Aegon tried fighting. His eyes never leaving those of Saera's. Her hands were still on her belly as of she could protect their child in a situation and position such as this. Aegon felt so useless standing there like an idiot while his wife was being held at knife point, pregnant on top of that.

"Unhand her, Ser Cole" Aemond demanded glaring at Cole. He was not expecting Cole to put a woman at dagger point let alone a pregnant one. If Helaena was here she would have demanded Aemond save Saera, she was the only one other than himself she felt comfortable enough to be herself with, Saera was like the sister they never had. Aemond did not know how Aegon felt in that moment but he knew he would have gone crazy if Helaena was in Saera's position, pregnant nonetheless.

"The Queen awaits you, your grace" Cole's words was cold and his voice sent shivers down Saera's back. She pleaded Aegon with her eyes, she did not want to die, she did not want their child to die. Aegon had no choice, he was cornered.

"Alright just unhand my wife" Aegon pleaded. Cole smirked shaking his head refusing. He pointed to the entrance of the dragonpit with his eyes.

"Out" He grumbled. Aegon's eyes widened in shock. They were going to separate him from Saera.

"Unhand my wife" Aegon stepped closer. Cole pulled Saera further away from Aegon. She whimpered when the dagger caught some of her skin causing a small cut. Aegon froze at the sight of blood.

"Hand her to me, I will take her to her chambers" Aemond tried bargaining. Aegon was definitely against the idea but Aemond was much better than Criston, he would not hurt Saera. Aegon trusted Aemond with Saera.

"Take your brother to the queen" Criston did not yield. Queen Alicent demanded he take Princess Saera to her chambers and lock her there, not Aemond or anyone else.

"Go Aegon" Saera whispered. His eyes showed his conflict. She reached her hand out to him with difficulty with the dagger still against her neck. He grasped her hand desperately trying to comfort her. Criston pulled her away from her husband making her stumble a little. She cried out loud, the movement hurt her, the baby did not like that and began moving frantically.

"Careful you cunt, she is with child" Aegon yelled. Criston ignored him and moved Saera to walk away from the brothers.

"Come on princess" Criston taunted in her ear. She did not know why he hated her, was it something she did? Or was it because she was her mother's daughter.

"Please, my baby" She cried. He ignored her as he strapped her to a horse with her hand bond in front of her. He climbed behind her before urging the horse in the Red Keep's direction.

"Shut up" He hissed in her ear. she tried stopping the sobs leaving her lips but there was no use. She was terrified for Aegon, for her baby and for herself. What will happen now? Will they kill her? Will war rise?

"I said shut up" He yanked her down from the horse in front of the doors. He raised his hand to strike her but was stopped by a smooth voice. Queen Alicent stood by the doors adorning a green gown.

"How dare you raise a hand at the future queen?" She hissed stepping over to the pair. Saera wanted to tell her that she was no better having raised her hand at the future King Aegon.

"Unhand her" She demanded. Criston moved away from the women leaving mother and daughter in law glaring at each other.

"If you had not ran away you would not have been treated this way" Alicent pulled out a small knife from her dress and began undoing the ropes holding Saera's hand together.

"This is treason" Saera hissed pulling away from Alicent. The queen flinched when she met Saera's glare, she may not have her mother's eye colour but she defiantly had her glare.

"The King whispered to me that-" Alicent began but Saera was quick to interrupt her.

"We both know that is a lie" Saera's tone was sharp now that there was no dagger at her neck she felt free to show her true emotions. A sharp pain in her belly ended the conversation.

"Ser Cole, escort the princess to her chambers" Alicent ordered. Saera pulled away from his hold when he reached over to her. Her face was scrunched in pain and her arms wrapped around her belly.

"Do not touch me again you filthy piece of shit, I know my way on my own" She growled face flushed from anger and fisting her dress. Criston did not seem fazed and moved closer again and this time Saera had enough of him belittling her. With no hesitation she raised her hand and punched him square in the face. She bit her lip to not let put a pained cry as her knuckles protested from the contact with Cole's nose.

"Fuck" He spluttered moving back with his hands on his face. Queen Alicent gasped in shock at the violent act coming from her daughter in law. Saera smirked knowing if Daemon were here he would be immensely proud.

"I said I know the way on my own, cunt" Saera spoke with sanguine evident in her voice. She puffed her chest proudly seeing the blood seep through Cole's fingers and Alicent trying to console him. Saera did not wait for them and made her way into the palace in search of her husband ignoring the kicking and squirming of her child inside her.

"Where are you?" She whispered to herself. She paused a little outside the king's chamber hearing voices inside. She was relieved that there were on guards outside and barged in to see if her husband was in there and he was with his grandsire glaring at each other.

"Aegon" Relief washed over her seeing him unharmed. He gasped at the sight of her, her hair was sticking in all places and her wrists were red along with tears still streaming down her face other than her bloody lip from biting it hard and her busted knuckles.

"Saera" She wasted no time running into his arms. Her body relaxed in his comforting embrace. Aegon glared over her shoulder at his grandsire who was smirking at him.

"Are you alright?" He pulled away hands on her cheeks inspecting her body for any injuries. His eyes paused at her knuckles, swollen and bruised.

"I punched Criston cunt when he tried manhandling me" She explained. Aegon looked at her shocked. She has never used violence before in her life against anyone ever. He felt proud of her for defending herself.

"I am sorry I was not there, my love" Aegon's eyes filled with tears. He hated himself even more if that were to be possible, his mother, father and grandsire made sure to make him hate himself for eternity even after he changed for the better.

"It was not your fault" She whispered. Her hands reached up to his face holding it gently minding the fact that his grandsire may have hurt him, still he flinched at the contact and it made anger boil inside of her.

"Your maids will help you into your ceremonial clothes" Otto Hightower retreated leaving the couple in the King's chambers alone but he locked the doors behind himself.

"I am so sorry, so very sorry" Aegon's knees buckled and he fell in front of the love of his life. His sobs shook his weak body. His hands fisted her dress at her hips, wider than usual preparing to birth their child soon, and his forehead pressed against the swell of her belly.

"Shhh, Aegon, it was not your fault" Saera repeated her words again. One hand rested atop his on her hip and the other ran through his hair. He looked up at her, even during times like this her smile was gentle and comforting.

"Stand up, my king" He flinched disgusted by the title. They both knew that there was no running away from the reality.

"I am so sorry, my love, I will do anything to save you two" He stood up again. His hands rubbed her belly and his lips skimmed over her forehead.

"Just hold me for now" She whimpered. He hugged her close to his body as they both sobbed into each other's arms. The maids took pity on the couple and gave them some extra alone time before they were unable to delay helping them bathe and change.

Saera was not ashamed of the tears streaking down her cheeks as she walked through the dragonpit now packed with the smallfolk and soldiers. The soldiers bowed their heads to their new Queen as she passed by with her arm linked with Aemond's. Deep down she had forgiven him, she saw him falter and how he tried getting Cole to let her go.

"Everything will be alright" Aemond whispered trying to comfort the distressed pregnant woman on his arm.

"Nothing will be alright ever again" She hissed stepping beside Helaena. Aemond sighed defeated moving to stand on his wife's other side. Their three children were in their rooms too young to be here and neither Aemond nor Helaena wanted them witnessing this.

Saera felt her throat close when she felt someone step close behind her. She turned her neck to find a guard staring straight ahead. She was barely able to conceal the gasp when she felt the edge of a dagger dig into her back.

"Eyes forward, your grace" The guard whispered. She felt the shakiness in his voice and grip around the dagger, he did not want to do it but he must. She took pity on him and turned around again to watch.

Aegon had tear tracks on his face as he walked through the manmade arch of swords. His eyes glared with hatred at his mother and grandsire. Saera could not deny the pain on Alicent's face, she sacrificed the love of her eldest son for the throne. Otto only smirked proudly at his grandchild.

Saera wished she knew where The Cannibal was, he had flown off a couple of days ago for some reason and has not returned. She was already scared for him since she was had not been able to ride him for the last couple of moons since her belly swelled more and more.

Saera turned her gaze to the smallfolk watching Aegon being crowned not knowing the price they had to pay for that. She at the same time was unable to watch as they anointed Aegon or as they placed the crown on his head. She gulped trying to stop the streaming tears but was unable to, her poor mother will think her a traitor as well.

She raised her hands to cover her ears as the smallfolk cheered for Aegon. She felt disgusted with herself but what other choice did she have. She wanted to run and hide or to run to her mother and tell her the whole story, she wanted her mother to wrap her in her arms and comfort her, oh what she would pay to be in her mother's embrace.

"Oh gods" She gasped when Meleys emerged from the depth. Aegon did not hesitate to run over to Saera. They wrapped their arms around each other fearing what Rhaenys Targaryen would do. Saera did not doubt that Rhaenys would not harm her, she was her granddaughter after all. Aemond had moved his body in front of Helaena's to protect her not like a human body would be able to stop dragon fire.

Rhaenys' held unshed tears as she watched her granddaughter bury her face in Aegon's shoulder whimpering. Aegon himself had his head buried in Saera's hair accepting that they would die together, two people in love and their unborn child. Aegon lifted his head for one second to look at her and that was enough for her to see, he did not want this.

Meleys let out a loud roar shaking the ground and walls before flying away leaving the greens unharmed. Saera felt her body shut down, too much stress and too much pain. Aegon's shouting was the last thing she heard before her world turned black.

When Saera woke again it was late in the night. There was no one in the room except her and Aegon. He was sat on his side of the bed, a hand holding her own hand while he stared off at the wall. His face was red and puffy from crying and he was still in his ceremonial clothes.

"Aegon" Saera whimpered. He turned to look at her showing her his red eyes.

"Oh my love, what do you want? Water? Food? Shall I call a maester?" He was off the bed quicker than she could blink. He moved to her side of the bed and kneeled down beside her. His hair was a mess with no crown to keep it down anymore.

"Water" She answered. She used her elbows to sit up against the pillows as he scrambled to get her some water. She gulped it down in one go and handed him the cup again, it was disregarded on the nightstand in a second.

"I should call a maester" Aegon moved to walk away but Saera moved quicker than she thought she could in her condition and grabbed his hand before he could leave her alone. He was running away from the reality of the situation.

"Stay" She begged her eyes watering. Aegon's face softened at the sight of her tears. He silently joined her in the bed, wrapping his arms around her small body.

"Aemond left to Storm's End to gather allies, they are not wasting any time. My guess is they are going to betroth Daeron to one of the Baratheon girls" Aegon whispered. One of his hands moved up to push some of Saera's hair back.

"I do not want to think about it, please" She tightened her grip around him. He nodded against her head. His hand trailed down her hair and down to her waist stopping at the edge of her bump.

"I am the worst husband in Westeros and beyond, I should have protected you both. I should have known that I was not fit to be a father" Aegon sobbed. He was an emotional reck but he held it together but now that Saera was alright and awake he was unable to hold it back.

"Shhh, do not say such things" Saera sat up to look at him. He was unable to look her in the eyes anymore as tears streamed down his face.

"It was not your fault, you did your best, you protected us for as long as you could, Aegon" Saera placed her hand on his cheek raising his head up to look at her.

"Oh my heart" She leaned her forehead down against his. He smiled at her genuine words but it was soon wiped off when she groaned in pain.

"What is it, my love?" Pulled away to look at her properly.

"I think it is my labors" She answered. She huffed a little as the pain returned. Now thinking about it her pain has been on going and off going since that morning but she was too preoccupied to notice.

"What now? It is a whole moon too early" Aegon panicked getting off the bed.

"Aegon please, help me" She begged crying out as the pain worsened. Aegon ran to the doors trying to open them but they were locked.

"Open the door you cunts!" Aegon screamed fists banging against the wood. This must be his grandsire's doing. The doors opened to show to guards standingt here.

"Call a maester, the queen's labours has begun" Aegon demanded. One of the peeked inside to see the Queen clutching her belly. That ticked Aegon off and rose a more violent part inside of him. He pushed the guard back as hard as he could.

"How dare you?-" Aegon began but stopped when the guard scrambled away fearing his temper and to call a maester. Alicent appeared at the end of the corridor just as the guard passed her hurriedly. She watched him for a second confused before turning back around, she intended to check on Aegon and Saera despite how much she disliked the young girl right now.

Aegon took one glance at his mother before going back inside the room. He did not hesitate to pull Saera into his arm trying to comfort her. Saera has never felt this kind of pain before in her life, she has always been afraid of giving birth but she has never imagined that it will be this painful.

"What is the matter?" Alicent questioned stepping into the room. Aegon was unable to answer as Saera let out a loud scream of pain. Alicent walked over to the bed immediately and pushed the blanket to the side showing the nightgown Saera was put into when she was unconscious and pulled that up as well to show Saera's private parts.

"What are you doing?" Aegon hissed trying to push his mother away but she had already pulled away from Saera.

"Her water broke, you should leave the baby could be coming any minute now" Alicent's words came harsher and colder than she meant. Aegon glared at her, how dare she demand he leave his wife's side while she was in need of him, he doubted Saera needed him more than she did now.

"No, I will stay by her side and support her" He shook his head in denial. Alicent's argument was cut off when the doors opened and a maester walked in followed by Helaena.

"Oh my dear good sister" Helaena occupied the space beside Saera. Saera clutched Aegon's hand along with Helaena's. She was trying not to hurt them but she couldn't, she was in too much pain.

"I want my mother" The ten and six namedays old girl begged. She was still so young for the birthing bed. Alicent felt pity on her but she was once the same, four and ten namedays when she was married off to Viserys and five and ten when she had Aegon.

"Your grace, you must be patient, it is still not time to push" The maester pulled away from her to say. Saera glared down at him feeling a sweat begin to build on her back and forehead. Her body felt like it was on fire.

"Somebody take that cunt out of my room before I kill him" Saera hissed angrily. Her sentence ended with a scream of pain. The maester shook his head and moved to the corner waiting for when he was needed.

Saera did not know how much time has passed but the sun was slowly rising when the maester deemed it time to start pushing. Aegon moved to sit behind Saera when she kept complaining that the pillows were uncomfortable. Her hand clutched his tightly but he did not mind nor did he care of she broke it. Helaena was sitting to the side whispering encouraging words to Saera who was too polite to tell her to shut the hell up, she loved Helaena but her words were not helping.

"Keep going your grace" The maester encouraged. Alicent had left earlier when one of the maids whispered something to her, making her turn as white as a sheet of paper, all Aegon heard was Aemond's name.

"Yes!" The maester cheered followed by a baby's piercing cries. Saera sobbed hearing the sound for the first time.

"Oh my gods" Helaena had her own tears streaming down her face. The maester handed the bloody baby to it's other.

"Congratulations, your grace, a healthy prince" The maester had a smile on his face.

Neither Saera or Aegon paid him any attention too deeply engrossed with their son. He was tiny with tuffs of white blonde hair. His eyes were scrunched up as he wailed.

"Shhh, my darling dragon" Saera shushed rocking him slowly. The baby's cries slowly quietened down and his eyes opened showing the stark violet identical to Aegon's.

"He looks just like you, gevie" Saera whispered. Her gaze shifted to Aegon's face over her shoulder. He had tears running down his cheeks, she was the only one to call him beautiful in his life.

"Thank you, my love" He leaned his forehead against hers. They pulled away at the sound of a throat being cleared.

"What shall you name him, your grace?" The maester asked not caring that he ruined the familial moment. Saera turned to look at Aegon hoping he does not give their son a stupid name. He turned to look at her with a soft smile through his tears.

"You birthed him, you bled for him, you name him" Aegon whispered. Saera's eyes widened in shock along with the maester's. Helaena however smiled at the display. Aemond had also chosen the names she liked for the twins when they were born. They once sat beside the fireplace and disgust names for their children and she mentioned like the names Jaehaerys and Jaehaera once and that was then and now was now.

"Aenar" Saera said turning to look at the baby in her arms. She remembered reading this name one time in a book about old Valyria and it has been a favourite of her ever since. She looked up when the doors to her room opened showing a terrified Alicent along with a soaked Aemond who also looked traumatised.

"Aemond?" Saera questioned confused. She thought he was at Storm's End for Daeron's betrothal.

"I'm sorry..."

[coyotestarcraft]

Alright, I know people wanna send in requests but I have a major story idea that I really wanna write because I’ve been working on this for a while.

I’m calling Good Omens: Rememberance AU

And here is the plot….

The story starts off when you move to Soho to start a new life, when you meet Aziraphale and Crowley strange things start happening that make you think about leaving them.

But when Shax, Michael, Saraqael, and Uriel threaten to kill both Aziraphale and Crowley you manage to get them to back off for the time being.

2 years pass and you fall pregnant with your first baby girl you name Arya.

As she grows up, you worry for her safety, threats begin to surface and you have to make the best and probably most difficult decision of your life.

Michael: Surrender yourself or the traitors die.

You surrender yourself to the angels and let them kill you to save your family.

It takes a major toll on your family but you know that they’re safe now. 100 years pass and now your little girl is 100 years old. As she walks down the street she notices construction men finishing a statue of a mysterious angel.

Arya was too young to remember her mother so as she runs home she frantically searches for books related to the angel.

After countless hours of research she finds that the angel is none other than her own mother.

So when she tells her fathers about it they try to beat around the bush but to no avail.

She finds out that her mother sacrificed herself to Heaven to save her and her fathers.

So she decides it’s now her turn to protect her family.

———————————

What do you guys think?

Also Arya is pronounced (Are - E - Ah).

Chapter 1 is currently in the works, probably won’t be released until sometime in spring, hopefully.

I’m gonna try to upload a chapter at the end of every month that way I’ll get into the groove.