#and feeling emasculated by confident women because it makes them feel useless

[lilyimmsim]

i think there’s a divide between the way women and men can talk + feel about themselves. it’s difficult as women to say “i am beautiful” or “strong” or “hot” or “worthy”. i think it’s much more acceptable to say these things, or much more expected, when you’re a man. it’s shown in media all the time; the main character thinks she’s ugly and is so shy and can’t see it until a dude comes along and tells her she’s beautiful; it’s seen in the lyrics “you don’t know you’re beautiful - that’s what makes you beautiful”. and i get that those lyrics are from a popular, harmless song but it injects this belief into young girls that not knowing, not admitting your beauty is what makes you pretty, rather than owning the beauty + being confident of it.

[chadlesbian-inactive]

hi sorry if this is dumb but what’s a chad?

it’s fine! I’m going to tag this as faq so it’ll be long, but basically “chad,” the way I use it, is a slang term for someone who’s conventionally attractive, flirty, etc. and just acts in a way that gets all the ladies. 

the term was recently popularized on /r/incels; I took the url in back in december 2017 when a lot of incel memes were going around. however, I think we all collectively agreed that incel jokes stopped being funny after the toronto attack in april proved that it was a dangerous community capable of actual harm, and the term “incel” entered the mainstream.

obviously, I avoid jokes directly referring to incels now because it seems insensitive as well as depressing, but I think “chad” can be saved. according to its [wikipedia page], its current usage may be mostly perpetuated by misogynists in the “manosphere” as a caricature of they kind of men women supposedly like (according to the misogynists’ jealous, bitter minds), but it’s appropriated from its original usage in the 1990s, which mocked privileged frat boys born in affluent Chicago suburbs. It’s interesting how the meaning moved from a man born into wealth, i.e. an actual privilege, to a man who’s handsome, masculine, and gets a lot of action, i.e. a percieved privilege, and seemingly a way for unlucky-in-love women-haters to blame their romantic misfortune on some innate property they were born without, rather than their personality, or something else they’re actually responsible for. 

I originally picked this url because of a silly meme that aged poorly, but I think the way it’s been recontextualized on this blog is something else entirely. Every once in a while I get an ask from a lesbian with a story of them successfully flirting with a girl, going on a date, etc. I know we love making jokes about being a useless lesbian and being oblivious and those are fun too but I really like the idea of a joke centering around romantic success and really, at its core, confidence. 

“Chad” is just a funny word to me because it’s generally used as a pejorative, applied out of derision and jealousy of someone else’s attractiveness and good fortune, but when applied to the self, as it rarely has been throughout its history, it affirms one’s own success self-confidence, something lesbians (really all lgbt people) may have trouble finding. To be a chad is to be so confident that bitter people wish they were you. I find the idea of a chad lesbian particularly funny because it evokes an image of a woman so powerful and successful with the ladies that it makes men feel emasculated enough to make a slang word about it. Truly, you don’t have to be a conventionally attractive man to be a chad; anyone can.

Sure, the term may have been appropriated by jealous misogynists like incels, but why can’t we appropriate it too? Besides, using it as a self-affirming term of encouragement among lgbt people, especially women? That’s the last thing incels would want. 

tl; dr: chad originated in the 90s to mock wealthy Chicago frat boys, then got appropriated by incels to insult conventionally attractive men who get lots of attention from women, and now I’m rubbing my gay (chad) hands all over it. 

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2rU65TV

Good old workouts, who doesn’t love them? Especially when they are done by a cute girl who made you fall in love with her various skills. Whether it was her toned abs or just her ability to lift a lot more than some guys in the gym, we can agree that we all love a girl who goes the extra mile to keep fit and visit the gym, and knowing that some of us do too, you already have something in common. Switching sides, you may wonder why that guy has been staring at you for the past few minutes. Maybe you’re wondering what he may be thinking and whether he is admiring your well-worked out body or spotting your hidden fat rolls. One thing we have all noticed is that all guys show off when a hot girl is nearby, either by increasing the weight on the machine or by counting a few extra repetitions just to impress the new girl. Either way, you are always aware, but do you truly know what’s hidden within their thoughts? Look no further, this article is dedicated to all people which wonder, or are curious, about what guys may or may not think while checking a cute girl out at the gym. Curiously, most are too focused on their workout to even realize, but some see it as an occasion to take a break from the exhausting workout and learn a thing or two from the unaware beauty.

#1 What A Body…

Let’s get the obvious out of the way, who doesn’t get stunned when a perfectly sculpted cutie enters the gym – stealing all the looks and compliments, which are rarely said out loud, but often thought. Trying to admire her from the distance may sometimes prove challenging because making eye contact is not exactly what you may want. Getting spotted is not your best option and it will ruin even the tiniest chances with her, that unless you are her type and as a result raise her interest, but let’s be serious, that rarely happens. Mirrors do prove to be useful on special occasions like this since you are being more subtle and can really increase your chances of not being awkwardly caught staring at that cute girl the whole gym fell in love with.

#2 She Has Great Technique Admiring is not always the main thing that comes to men’s heads when they see a girl hanging around, but also the fact that she might be doing a certain exercise wrong … or maybe too right. This sometimes gives you the opportunity to teach or learn from the best and exchange techniques, but rarely do we dare ourselves and step out of the crowd. She might sometimes wonder why her abs workout doesn’t work as well as it should and you might want to help, but it always ends up in regret since you are unsure of her reaction regarding your guidance and she might take it as a flirt or even a disrespectful approach. In some cases helping a buddy out boosts your confidence and might also get you a new gym buddy, which is always welcome.

#3 Check Out The Sports Bra… Sports bras. They make everything more interesting and yet, we wonder why. Many say they are worn for comfort or extra support while working out, but this often turns into an exquisite trip to the gym because of the fact that they always make girls who wear them stand out of the crowd. Most men are skeptical of the true abilities of this “gear” and take it for granted, simply believing it is mainly for showing off and getting a few looks from guys. Others don’t even realize or just don’t care, but they might as well raise the stakes by a few kilograms just to impress the lovely new attraction who already made you think about whether she would be interested in you or not.

#4 Can She Lift That? There are two main concerns when it comes to girls working out, one of them being if they can actually lift certain heavy weights, the other being the concern of them being able to lift more than you. There’s nothing more emasculating than a girl half your size lifting twice the weight you are. Some girls have been in the gym for years and have achieved the great skill of being able to raise quite some weight without much visible muscle, and if they are able to lift more than you, you are in danger of being embarrassed and made fun of by your friends. But what if she can’t lift more than you? Then that is an occasion for you to come in and aid your new friend a bit.

#5 Why Wear Yoga Pants? We don’t understand the true use of yoga pants. They are a simple cloth that stretches, originally designed for well, yoga. When we see a cute girl work out in yoga pants we can’t really find another use for them since we probably can’t relate. As guys, we wear shorts and get to lifting, not being bothered by our simplistic, purely functional clothing. On the other hand, some women might even get warm in those pants and sweat more than they need to. Let’s not talk about the fact that yoga pants attract a lot of looks which not everyone may enjoy since they do make certain women look slimmer and that is an advantage to wearing them, but any other uses outside yoga are unknown.

#6 You’re Doing It All Wrong Oh, but we all know a showoff who would rather come up with a new workout method other than any of the many existing ones, risking to get laughed at by others. That girl who comes up with strange new workouts which are guaranteed to help, but in the end prove to be useless. Some may have even tried to tell her but she just would not understand, her workout is her workout, period. This is not always favorable since time is wasted with exercises that would never help the girl get in any better shape and discouraging her from working out. Needless to say, this won’t get you any muscles or attract any positive looks your way since it may make some people uncomfortable just by watching you incorrectly doing the exercise.

#7 How Long Has She Been Doing It For? Another question that comes up in men’s minds when they see a cute girl working out is the instinct of asking whether the person who has just entered the gym is a newbie, or a professional. This gives them a first impression about the girl and might even allow them to steal a few tricks from her if she is kind enough. Learning from a girl is nothing to be embarrassed about, especially if you are a newcomer and don’t mind learning a few tips and tricks to help you on your quest to gain your dream body as all information is vital. Put your manly pride aside for a second and realize that you don’t know everything there is to know about working out, and that you might actually be able to learn something new from the cute girl doing squats next to you.

#8 I Need To Do More Weight When a cute girl enters the gym, you will sure see how weights start increasing and everyone becomes sweaty within a few minutes. That is because all men want to impress, and showing off your strength is a thing to admire, especially if you can withstand the extra 20 kilograms you might have added to your bench press while doing so. Nevertheless, your attributes can’t be changed by any girl and your limits are your limits. Forcing yourself to the maximum may result in a muscle failure and you might just have treated yourself with a muscle sprain or, in the worst case, a broken bone. You won’t impress anyone by running out of steam mid-bench press.

#9 Do You Ever Sweat? Lifting drains a good amount of your energy and that makes you excrete excessive sweat which helps you keep your body cool; pretty normal, right? Well, that doesn’t seem to be a valid explanation for certain girls who, no matter how long they run, lift, or push, just couldn’t break a sweat, literally. You work out, drowning in your own sweat while the girl next to you has been cycling for the past 2 hours and wouldn’t mind doing it for the rest of the day. This might make the many of us who work out unconsciously reminding ourselves that a good workout isn’t successful unless you have sweated enough, since otherwise it simply doesn’t feel right, but this doesn’t appear to apply to the cute girl working out in the distance, who has no problem walking out of the gym perfectly dry.

#10 She’s Too Fit… Knowing your own reasons for going to the gym, you might say that many others like you are coming to the gym to become slim and more muscular, but in the cases of some girls you really can’t understand why they are even there. That perfectly sculpted girl who looks like she has trained for years just came into the gym, making you wonder whether you have never seen her before or if she is just a beginner. Most of the times, she is. You then unknowingly wonder why she would ever think of going to the gym with a body everyone would dream to have. I suppose some people are just not satisfied with perfection…

#11 How Do I Approach A “Runner”? The moment you realize that the cute girl you fell in love with will never come within your reach since she doesn’t approach the weightlifting area you’re so experimented with. The girl who is always in the opposite corner of the gym. The “runner”. You always think about ways of approaching her but cardio just isn’t for you, it’s like two different observable universes and therefore you just stay there and think about how it would be if you ever had the opportunity to talk to her, and even consider trying cardio, but she seems to endure this challenge far more than you ever could, and that feels far more exhausting than your average workout.

#12 Why Is She On The Phone? Who never met that annoying cute girl in the gym who came all geared up ready to destroy the gym but somehow ends up going home without producing a single drop of sweat? Why doesn’t this girl work up a sweat? The walkie-talkie of our modern days; the phone. Who doesn’t spend time on their phone? Everyone does, whether in the living room, in a club, or even in your own personal bathroom, but you rarely would find someone at the gym continuously on their phone, since most people are too focused on flexing their muscles while lifting dangerously heavy weights which require absolute concentration, but there is that one person. You focus on your workout and hear a beep, you try not to mind it but that beep turns into a phone call which then turns into a one hour conversation no one wants to hear, concentrating all of the attention on the unsuspecting victim who is cheerfully laughing and talking out loud while sitting on an exercise ball she reserved for her, annoying everyone and restricting anyone from accessing it.

#13 Why Is She Wearing Makeup? One of the most common questions guys ask when they see a cute girl work out is why some girls are wearing makeup during their workout due to the fact that there is a high chance that it will fade away during the process, revealing their actual beauty. Even if it lasts after the tiring workout, it would still wash away under the shower. Spending time to try and look good when no one is supposed to care is a waste of time and makeup. In the end, it is all a matter of preference, but we sure do wonder about why anyone would ever spend more than 5 minutes to prepare for going to the gym since there isn’t much to take care of other than making sure you are wearing your sportswear and packing the will of changing yourself for the better.

#14 What Is She Listening To? Who doesn’t workout with earbuds in their ears? Music helps you concentrate and makes your workouts more productive while keeping you entertained, but sometimes you wonder what other people are listening to, and it often happens that the cute girl raises your interest. Does she have the same musical taste as you? What are her favorite songs? What about her favorite artist? This often makes you insecure regarding your own musical style, making you question whether you should switch it up and get some new songs for your phone. Whatever music her playlist has, they must sure be entertaining enough to keep her focused for the many hours of treadmill she is facing daily, while you are switching up every song in your playlist for the past 30 minutes for a truly auricular experience.

#15 She’s Too Sweaty Girls don’t always not-sweat. Like every other human being, most do, sometimes making them stand out especially if it’s the girl you had an eye out on while doing your workout. It all starts with a fine looking girl who got your attention as you try focusing on your workout which is now 20 times heavier and more stressful. Two hours later and as you are going to the showers, you take one last glimpse at the now soaking Olympic athlete lookalike who burned more calories than any man would in a week. The entire ambiance changes once you have seen the passion put into her workout based on the stunning results and you’re shocked at how anyone could ever sweat in so many places – but in the end, we are all humans.

Source: TheRichest