#and has crippling survivor’s guilt!!

[slavicwetcat07]

can’t let go

victor rothstein dnd vers

[starcurtain]

Outing myself as a Genshin rarepair lover just to say that what I love best about Diluven isn't the "boy and his god" dynamic (though that is very good, chef's kiss yes yes)--what I love most is that both Diluc and Venti (literally, in Venti's case) are characters shaped by their grief, characters who have responded to loss in different and yet equally unhealthy ways.

Venti hides his grief behind a light-hearted veneer, using laughter and antics to dissuade people from taking him--and the things he's experienced--too seriously. He asserts a carefree (sometimes careless) exterior while internally hiding away the pain of his personal losses and the immense pressure of being an archon.

Diluc is the complete opposite. By all accounts, he used to be a happy child, but he's allowed his grief to completely reshape his external self, from a boy who smiled all the time to a quiet, brooding young man who feels best fit for the dark of night. Diluc carries his loss and his deep sense of atonement outside himself for everyone who knows his past to see. It's a weight he can't let go of and doesn't even try to hide.

But who better to help you heal than the person who has faced the same kind of suffering and chosen a different path?

Through Venti, Diluc can learn that a legacy of loss does not have to mean sacrificing joy and companionship in the present; that letting yourself freely express happiness here-and-now isn't a betrayal to the memory of those who are gone.

Through Diluc, Venti can learn that there's no shame to showing one's sadness nor selfishness in sorrow; that you aren't ignoring what was gained by mourning what was lost--that no one will begrudge their god for the times he doesn't feel like singing.

Until until, one day:

A Diluc with reasons to smile unreservedly.

A Venti with someone to sit beside his silence.

So yes, it's about a boy and his god. But also: it's about two people who have experienced the same profound grief and who both, in their own ways, are the exact type to soldier on under the burden of their duties to Mondstadt at deep cost to themselves.

It's about healing your mirror in order to heal yourself, and it doesn't get any better than that.

Like goddamn, what a dynamic.

[puppygrldrool2]

i have a type when it comes to fictional men and its really really obvious because it goes man that has long hair -> teacher or ex teacher -> serious mental problems -> could snap me in half or at least break the bed trying in no particular order

[haine-kleine]

after sitting with my thoughts about the epilogue for some time, I think the thing that broke the story had started right after Dabi's dance. said thing is LOV' utterly out of character treatment of each other and Shigaraki specifically.

them just standing there and passively observing the scene makes absolutely zero sense, if you use anything from their previously established relationships within the organisation for reference. especially with All for One's creepy comments. Spinner even points out shortly before this chapter that AFO!Shigaraki seems nothing like his normal self and this person is not the one he had chosen to follow.

and yes, Spinner does approach screaming Shigaraki and tries to help him, and his concern later leads him to seeing Shigaraki's mutated form in the cave, and on its own this development for Spinner is in line with his character and all around fine. pretty reminiscent of Toga and Twice, too.

(except Spinner is not allowed to really help Shigaraki in any way, unlike Toga was allowed to help Twice, and this entire thing between Shigaraki and Spinner only ends with Spinner's regrets and survivor's guilt instead of anything good or meaningful that isn't meaningless angst porn)

it isn't Spinner approaching Shigaraki that is the issue, it's the other's complete lack of action or even reaction besides appearing mildly disturbed. this is simply out of character for all of them, just judging by Twice's example who had similar breakdowns and wasn't plainly ignored by the others until his fit stops. this reaction makes even less sense, when you take into account the current state of the League. Twice had just been murdered by Hawks, the double agent who had infiltrated the League via Dabi, and Mister Compress had just sacrificed himself to give the League a chance for escape, and was sent to Tartarus immediately after his condition was no longer life threatening. Kurogiri is also being held captive by the heroes. there are only four of them left, with two dead and two captured. and none of them even mention the dead or the captured outside of the context of Kurogiri and his quirk.

this straight out makes no sense if you look back to the Overhaul arc and remember how far Shigaraki and the rest of them were willing to go to avenge Magne's death and Mr Compress' destroyed arm. this was important.

the event had motivated Shigaraki to be a better leader, because he had realized these people depend on him, and he won't let them be hurt under his protection. it had started the seed of self-doubt in Jin which would eventually grow to the desperation that allowed him to overcome the mental block against his quirk in the MVA arc, because he wanted to do everything he possibly could to help the League. it allowed him to make his clones despite the crippling trauma, because he saw Toga's hurt, bleeding body, and he didn't want her to die.

even fucking Giran, a broker whose very profession requires him to care about himself and his own well-being first and foremost, had sacrificed all of his fingers to prevent Redestro from getting his hands on the League. because he wants to protect them, to save them. and then we never actually see his mutilated hands or hear anything from him ever again.

and when Twice actually dies? all we get in response to that are two upset faces from Dabi and Toga's fury. that's it.

i really want to stress how out of character this barely-present reaction is, because Magne's example is right there and when Overhaul had killed her, the League knew each other for no longer than a month. this League has been together for at least half a year, had been through thick and thin together, had spent months on the run, homeless, having no one but each other to rely on, has defeated the Meta Liberation Army, quite literally, with the power of their friendship. they all cared enough about each other and Shigaraki specifically to stay with him during those months they had to fight Gigantomachia with barely any breaks for rest, still homeless, barely scraping by. it was imperative that they all survive through this together, especially for Shigaraki, who had went on this quest of getting stronger at least partly so that he would become a more reliable protector for the League. and when Twice falls victim to the hero who had murdered him in cold blood, because no one except for Dabi was there to save him, Shigaraki doesn't even get to react to Twice's death, and possibly never even learns about the fact.

on topic of Dabi, his reaction being exactly two frames of sad expressions and including the footage of Twice's murder into his broadcast, and ending immediately after that, also makes no sense. Dabi is someone who holds himself accountable and despite his declarations, cares about the League, it's the very reason he was keeping Hawks from the League and sprinted to Twice as soon as he realized Hawks' intentions with him, to protect him. Dabi's unsuccessful attempt to save Twice is another iteration of Overhaul, a combination of Shigaraki and Twice's roles in the tragedy. but unlike Shigaraki, who had steeled himself into taking care of his subordinates and becoming a responsible and strong leader, or Twice who had never forgotten about his role in the incident, Dabi just somehow forgets about the entire thing as soon as the first war is over. Toga is the one whom the narrative allows to actively react to Twice's death and express her grief. it makes sense that her reaction would be the strongest, as she was the closest with Twice, but why are two LOV members no longer allowed to care about the same incident at the same time? why aren't they allowed to protect each other anymore, when Giran, who is not even in the League, had made that sacrifice for them?

These are pretty small things, but it's these instances of Toga and Dabi preventing Machia from being injected with the sedative, protecting the League that are sorely missing in the second war.

and the biggest act of devotion and protection to the League, which was the last time we saw anything like this for them, Mister Compress' last moments with the League.

Mutilating his own body just to buy them five seconds to possibly escape. Because he loved the League, because he wanted all of them to be happy and achieve their dreams, to be free, and to live.

and in return for the favour, not only do they not come back for him like they did for Kurogiri (because his quirk is important for the plot, while Compress' isn't), but none of them mention Compress ever again. same with Twice (with the exception of Toga), same with Magne. from this point onwards, none of them are allowed by the plot to even care about the League of Villains. the interpersonal relationships between two individuals still shine through, occasionally, like Spinner's devotion to Shigaraki (and him alone), Dabi and Toga's pyromaniac trauma lane visit to her house and him giving her Twice's blood, Kurogiri reaching out to Shigaraki in the very end. but what about the League? ahd what about the dead members of the League, or Mister Compress?

somehow, at the point of the final war it boils down to the generalized conflict of heroes vs villains and the morality gymnastics involved in the concept. on its own, this would have been an okay development, if the examples the story was using to prove its point weren't people who had become very close friends and who had lost four people to this war against the heroes.

if the individual conflicts, like Toga's desperation to be acknowledged as human being deserving of affection, Dabi's familial abuse trauma and Shigaraki's lifelong manipulation by All for One not giving him any chance to be saved at all, were the finishing line of the villains' story development, why join them within the League at all? LOV is a separate concept functioning as a collective uniting all these villains, giving them a place to belong and people who give a fuck whether they live or die. except not anymore, because for some reason after the first war this concept is scratched completely.

so why not make them mere acquaintances who sometimes collaborate to bother the heroes together, if the bond between them got in the way of the story and wasn't the point of the story? why prove the depth of their bond with the Overhaul and My Villain Academia arcs? why make Shigaraki develop relationships and a sense of responsibility for these people at all, if in the very end his desire to save these people is denied by the author himself?

the previous arcs have spent a great deal of effort establishing that the villains are human too. they have human feelings, human desires and human relationships. so why is it that in the final arc their ability to experience human emotions towards each other is turned on and off manually by the author? at the very end even the author stops pretending like anything happening to the villains is evaluated on the scale of human experiences (unlike the heroes, whose injuries and deaths are talked about and mourned in great detail) and Kurogiri and Shigaraki are wiped out like plot inconveniences rather than important and well written characters.

honestly? it's ironically meta that the story ended up proving the very point it has spent 400 chapters arguing against.

[deafmangoes]

I'm not a shipper by nature, just putting that out there. But, uh, Dungeon Meshi does things to me.

Anyway, I've shared my Farcille thoughts, so now to blabber about a different popular ship: Labru. The Hot Mess. The Disaster Couple.

Firstly let's talk about the -bru part of the ship. Kabru is a neurotic little twink with PTSD and anxiety. I don't think that's in any sort of doubt. He exudes an entirely false confidence to hide his crippling self-hatred and survivor's guilt. For some reason, this makes him incredibly attractive to nearly everyone he encounters. Rin has the traditional tsundere crush, his whole party firmly believes in him (more than reflects his actual abilities), the ninjas blush when he smiles at them, even dead-hearted Mithrun warms up to him over time. The omakes take this even further: his landlord cleans his room for him, Dia's fiancé breaks down in tears when talking to him, and Holm's sister clearly wants to get it.

Kabru's not blind to any of this. He weaponises it, really. He's manipulative to an artform! Then he meets Laios. The Monsterfucker.

Laios' sexuality is not immediately clear from the manga. He definitely has a little flame for Marcille - between his awkwardness over touching her, his succubus taking her form, his illusion memory of her focusing on her power and strength - it's not love, I don't think it's even a crush, it's just that "boy sits across the table and stares intently at you" sort of feeling.

He doesn't show any direct interest in men but dearly desires their companionship. He practically kidnaps Shuro and - even though he struggles with Kabru's name at first - takes a liking to him instantly.

So do they make a good ship? Hell no, they're fucking awful together, but it works. Kabru just natually slithers in as advisor, and Laios is more than happy to have someone take all that off his plate. If there's anything there, I think it's one-sided from Kabru, and whatever feelings he has for Laios are based in his total confusion over how Laios just... survives. He finds him fascinating. Intriguing. Possibly sexually. If everyone else is an open book, Laios is the eldritch tome he cannot decipher and will burn him if he touches it. You can see why this ship seems to naturally arise from the canon.

But from Laios' point of view, I think he's... sort of homoerotic asexual? His feelings towards Marcille are more like a fascination with the exotic and monstrous (because she's Not A Tall-Man, and he doesn't want to be one), but his interactions with male companions are much more open and affectionate, even if he's a bit oblivious about it. I think he'd openly appreciate Kabru but wouldn't realise they were in a relationship until literally at the altar.

As another user put it: Laios is a human fascinated with monsters and wants to be one. Kabru sees himself as a monster and is fascinated with humans. They definitely compelement eachother.

[autistic-robin]

more dynamics i need to see in st5 for my mental wellbeing

1. el and dustin. that’s it send post. they were genuinely so sweet in season 1 and i miss their mad scientist/test subject vibe immensely. i know el and lucas are going to be paired up this season because of their shared connection (polyamory) to max, but i would love to see more scenes between dustin and el— maybe some lighthearted bonding over their matching leg injuries or daddy issues.

2. mike and robin. i don’t think you understand i need this like i need air. will has already had his gay awakening he doesn’t need a queer life coach!! mike on the other hand is out here in the TRENCHES. this man is down critically horrendously morifyingly BAD for will but is convinced el needs him and that will could never reciprocate his feelings. he needs robin’s gay intuition and advice if anyone does.

3. steve and jonathan. HELLO??? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO???? i know this is pretty much guaranteed to happen in st5 because full-circle character development and hammering in themes and blah blah blah but i’m still gonna talk about it because listen. steve got his shit rocked by jonathan one (1) time and immediately decided “fuck my idiot friends” developed a moral conscience and SHOWED UP AT HIS HOUSE to apologize. he wasn’t there for nancy he had no idea nancy was there!!! he bought jonathan a new camera!!! he was so respectful of nancy and jon even when nancy dumped his ass a season later!!! yet we never get closure between him and jonathan or even a conversation and i’m PISSED about it. matt and ross duffer rectify this or else.

4. hopper and jonathan and will. you see the vision. these kids have never had a stable father figure who truly understands them (i love bob but he was only there for st2 and was sweet but naive) and everything they’ve been through. jonathan DESPERATELY needs to be de-parentified and released from the emotional burden of constantly putting will and joyce before his own needs and dreams, and hopper desperately needs to feel like he can protect his family instead of “cursing” them. will needs a loving father figure who supports his queer identity, and hopper only had a fire lit under him in s1 when joyce mentioned it could have been a hate crime. this is like textbook recipe for healing and closure for these characters.

5. joyce and karen? i just think it would be neat. we know karen’s getting more involved this season and i think she should get to be a little gay for joyce as a treat. we had crumbs of their dynamic in s1 and on a more sincere note i honestly think joyce could help give karen the courage to leave ted or demand better from him moving forward.

6. nancy and mike. if they don’t have a genuine conversation i’ll actually be fuming raging pulling my hair out. i get it i get that they’re both emotionally repressed but GOD i wish we had more moments with them talking about their trauma or empathizing with each other’s survivor’s guilt and crippling savior complexes. all the “max and mike are the same character in a different font” business is very valid and i agree madwheeler is like ten shots of espresso injected directly into the bloodstream HOWEVER, nancy and mike’s traumas and emotional issues are so so similar please let them talk about it!!!!

7. steve and robin???? please for the love of god????? literally what the fuck was happening in s4 they were NOT given enough screentime together. not cool. i want them BACK on their queerplatonic bullshit in s5, fully codependent disgustingly clingy like god intended.

8. jonathan and el. i just want them to be siblings together!!! we got a lot of willel sibling vibes in s4 and some sweet jon-and-will moments, but i would love for them to delve into jonathan and el’s dynamic. this girl is a big reason why will was saved in s1 and we just… never really see the byerses address that? jonathan has a lottt of self-blaming tendencies when it comes to will and i’d love for el to help remind him he isn’t responsible for protecting and saving his brother all the time. conversely, i’d love for jonathan to remind el that she’s just a kid and that the weight of the world shouldn’t be on her shoulders. they’re both really soft-spoken and sweet characters with hard veneers and i feel like they’d pair well together for more emotional scenes.

9. literally the entire byers-hopper family they are the heart and soul of the show and i will never forgive the duffer brothers for losing that in s3-4 in favor of expanding the scope of the story. i miss them.

10. steve and el. i would maim and kill for this dynamic actually. both of them are involved in love triangles and have arcs centered around independency and platonic/found familial love, and steve has his whole mom-of-the-group shtick that could be really endearing paired with el’s plucky weird-little-girl vibe. idk i just think they would be a cute team, maybe paired with dustin or lucas.

11. stoncy and robin. literally give me this team or give me death. i miss stoncy’s iconic end-of-season-1 monster-hunting trio dynamic SO MUCH i would give anything for them to go on a sidequest and really just hash it all out with each other. and robin could offer steve moral support and comic relief— while we’re on the subject i would also kill to see her and jonathan interact!! like they are so similar in that brooding-noncomformist way and i feel like they would either immediately gravitate toward each other based on values OR immediately clash due to their personality differences. jonathan is all quiet and avoidant and robin can be… A Lot (said with love) when she’s not masking like s3. i just think they’d be funny together.

12. this is devolving quickly so scott clarke and the party. no i will not elaborate. thank you for your time

[skeine]

After seeing this memory of Aeor's fall, the Bells Hells aren't the only ones with a critical decision in front of them—I think the man they're fighting against has one just as potentially shattering.

Ludinus's methods pursuing his goal are a fascinating mixed bag morally. He knowingly triggered a war for a beacon, with thousands of lives lost. But he visibly recoiled from killing a woman for information and instead crippled her mind, leaving a path open for restoration by her friends. The same friends he presumably ordered assassinated to keep his plans secret. As Dominox slaughtered his people, instead of running he tried (and failed) to take Dominox on himself to save them. But he's sacrificing his Ruidisborn followers to Predathos to see his plan through. He looked genuinely distressed at an apocalyptic demon being released into Exandria to the point where he voluntarily joined the fight, making himself a target. But his actions during the solstice released countless sealed evils into the world. The insecurities Dominox showed him, that sent him running, were the friends he sacrificed along the way, asking him if it was all worth it.

And this is exactly why he's such an interesting villain—because he genuinely sees himself as humanity's saviour. The last survivor of the Calamity and the only one left who understands what an existential threat to humanity the Betrayers still are and always have been. One that for him justifies every crime he's committed, because the stakes are so high. A good man forced to do terrible, terrible things.

And if it turns out that belief that he's humanity's saviour is the only way he copes with the guilt of what he's done? Juicy as hell. Because what happens if this memory of Aeor's fall blows that out of the water? Because there potentially is another way for him now: pulling the blueprints for the Factorum Malleus out of Cassida or a bubbled Aeorian mage or SILAHA's memories in the Occultus Thalamus. He could potentially spare the Primes now, with the Factorum Malleus. Not risk the world in so many ways by releasing Predathos.

But would that be… enough for him? Is it really safety he wants? Or is it revenge? Now that he potentially has another path, will he risk the world to satisfy his rage? Is he the Saviour or the Executioner? And can he live with himself if he chooses the executioner? Or will the weight of losing a thousand years worth of illusions break him?

[steeb-stn]

Bro the complete and total inevitability of ellie and joel’s estrangement. There was no way he could have done anything differently, both at salt lake and later when lying to her - i 100% believe that telling her the truth (at that point) would have destroyed her and probably would have made her suicidal. And ellie could not feel anything other than completely betrayed and enraged at what he had done, because she has no concept of self-worth and crippling survivor’s guilt and trauma. It’s like the last thing they want is to hurt this person and kill this growing relationship but they have no other choice 😭😭😭😭

[dallasgallant]

No but seriously, do you think he has an insane amount of survivors guilt? That somewhere deep that he won’t mention to even soda be blames himself for getting jumped, for falling asleep in the lot, for pulling Johnny along to “run away” do you think that Pony deals with the guilt of truly believing he’s responsible for his friends deaths? Logically he knows he isn’t, everyone tells him he isn’t but emotions don’t quite work that way.

Hi welcome to my blog where you get a meme and then emotionally crippling analysis. :)

[easwan]

ARC Trooper Hex and his Jedi, General Saryn.

He has crippling survival guilt and a death wish due to his curse of always being the sole survivor of every squad he serves with.

She masks her crisis of faith in the Republic and Jedi Order with playful optimism.

Whether they bring out the best or worst in each other is a matter of perspective.

[chadillacboseman]

This is the self insert/OC fairy. 🌼🧚‍♀️When you get this in your ask box, please tell us 3 facts about your S/I or OC and pass it around. Let's learn about each other's S/Is/OCs! 🌈🌷

We'll do the MK boys Alex 1. His 'comfort food' is good, cheap Chinese buffet, especially crab rangoon.

2. When he's drunk, he sometimes slips into Turkish without noticing. He also gets very emotional, often telling his friends he loves them (as if they don't know?)

3. While working for the Federovs, Alex had a crippling cocaine addiction. He started doing it to fit in and to look 'tough' in front of the others, but he became dependent on the high. While fleeing after his botched mission, he goes through withdrawals and has a....not good time.

JJ 1. When he's not working, he breaks in horses as a pastime. People bring wild, untamed horses to the ranch and he spends days, sometimes weeks breaking them in to be ridden.

2. JJ suffers from fairly crippling PTSD and chronic pain from his injury in combat. He has phantom pain in his missing leg and often has nightmares where he relives the incident. He also has a dash of survivor's guilt from being the only one to live through it.

3. He takes every loss of a man in Falcon Company very personally. Having to hand a spouse a folded flag is one of the things he dreads the most. He attends every funeral, and pays pensions for every one that has passed to their living family.

Jesse 1. He has borderline personality disorder, and he does not medicate himself consistently, if at all. He was diagnosed as a late teen after a brutal head injury that fractured his skull.

2. His usual rifle is a Barrett M82 .50BMG, but he has several that he equips, depending on what he he's doing. A few are: Knight's Armament SR-25 Blaser R93 LRS2 DSR-1

3. He has poor eyesight and wears -4.25 contact lenses. He refuses to wear glasses, claiming that they are the human equivalent of scope flare.

[doomhamster]

"Zevlor and Ulder are opposites because Zevlor is a commander of a heroic order of soldiers"...

Are we talking about the Hellriders here? The Hellriders who are founded on lies and dirty secrets, by the survivors of a resounding military failure who ran like whipped dogs and locked the gate on their own comrades left behind? The Hellriders who, yes, protect the countryside in Elturgarde - but also help uphold a theocracy? The Hellriders where you're supposed to be a member for life, not ALLOWED to leave even if you want to, except they kicked Zevlor and Tilses out for being tieflings?! Those Hellriders? Not sure they're actually that much better than the Flaming Fist, buddy.

For that matter, are we talking about Zevlor? The same Zevlor who took on responsibility for leading his exiled people to safety, who tried his best but fucked it up because he's only human (well, a tiefling) and a powerful being he was not equipped to resist turned his own needs and fears against him? Who now lives with crippling guilt over failing people he cared about, and struggles to figure out how - IF - he can still be a hero when he has that to carry? Not sure he'd agree that he's that different from Ulder, either.

[zhangyulian]

Guilt - Spider & Neteyam

Warning: Character death and survivors’s guilt

This is an idea I have in mind for a story I plan to write eventually. This would only serve as one part of it.

I love Spider and Neteyam being Team Older Siblings. That’s kinda where the following idea comes from. You’re welcome to share your thoughts. Enjoy!

…

The Sully family live hidden within the Amazon rain forest amongst indigenous human tribes in South America.

The RDA is a large global resource organization responsible for the deforestation of the Amazon to gather precious “resources” within the land. However it’s a cover up for something more sinister — the capture of Na’vi Pretenders (natural born Na’vi with Pretender (Cybertronian) mixed DNA and their human allies.

In the center of this war with the RDA is Jake Sully and Neytiri. Jake is a crippled marine who is recruited by the RDA after his brother’s untimely death and is given a second chance at life by becoming an “Avatar pilot” to his brother’s Na’vi Pretender-spliced-with-human-DNA Avatar body. He is tasked with infiltrating the Omaticaya clan and reporting intel so the RDA can take them down all in one fell swoop, led by Colonel Miles Quaritch. Jake gets close with Neytiri, a natural born Na’vi Pretender and she teaches him to see and activate his ability to take on different forms, such as transforming themselves from ten feet metal organic beings to six feet human version of themselves. (This ability helps them blend in with the indigenous tribes, who see them as guardians and blessed beings of Mother Earth, aka Eywa. Although they are of Cybertronian descent, they do not transform into vehicles, only other organics) Jake falls in love with Neytiri and betrays the RDA, the RDA attempts to wipe out Hometree village off the face of the Earth and every living being in its path, including the Tree of Souls. Quaritch betrays the RDA after learning what they had been doing to his unborn son while in the womb of his now deceased lover. Jake and the Omaticaya manage to fight back with his help and the RDA take a step back and leave. Upon Quaritch’s dying breath, he begs Jake and Neytiri to look after his son.

The couple end up adopting baby Spider. Spider is a product of an experiment to combine Na’vi Pretender and human DNA to create natural born human super species. As a side effect, he was born with underdeveloped lungs and can only breathe pure oxygen, rendering him to wear a mask at all times. Out of the many newborns created, he is the only one that ends up surviving after birth. He is the oldest Sully child and son.

Neteyam is born soon after, being close to Spider’s age. They become very close, the babies being over protective of each other and never seen a part from one another.

Kiri, Lo’ak, and Tuk come not long after, and the couple are outnumbered by five children. They’re all trained to be warriors and healers and are aware of their origins and are all loved by Jake and Neytiri. They take extra precaution towards Spider, much to the boy’s annoyance that he can handle himself and his siblings.

Him and Neteyam take turns keeping their siblings out of trouble, although sometimes they contribute too (more so Spider than Neteyam, but Spider’s very good at hiding the evidence 😂). Despite Neteyam being taller than Spider, he enjoys snuggling up against his older sibling and entrusting Spider with his own thoughts and worries. They are each other’s rocks. And Neteyam isn’t afraid to set anyone who sees Spider for anything less than the loving brother that he is ram-rod straight.

When word gets around that the RDA has returned to the Amazon, Jake and Neytiri get ready to battle them again, but do not want their children involved at all. They decide to send all the children and those unable to fight across the Pacific to the Polynesian islands of Awa’atlu to stay with their Metkayina allies. Spider refuses to go, wanting to stay with his parents but their answer is final. Right before they depart, Neteyam approaches Spider in secret and admits he will be staying behind to help fight the war. Spider is angry at his brother, demanding why he gets to do so. His taller yet younger brother reminds him that as a natural born Na’vi Pretender, his abilities are stronger and can be more useful in battle. Spider, despite some of his enhanced abilities, knows he can’t do the same things as Neteyam but it frustrates him to no end, especially since he’s the one who’s supposed to look after all of his siblings.

Neteyam makes Spider promise him that he’ll look after the others. That causes Spider to ask his baby brother if he knew who he was speaking to teasingly, but they sober up quickly, the gravity of the situation hanging heavily on their shoulders.

Spider then in turn tells Neteyam to look after mom and dad, knowing they were not going to be happy at all that Neteyam stayed behind, but his fighting skills will certainly help them. They share a tight embrace, not wanting to let the other go, and try to hold back the tears as they finally part ways.

In Awa’atlu the Sully kids and other Omaticaya settle in with the Metkayina and they learn their ways of life and adapt. Over the months of training and guidance under Tonowari, Ronal and their children, they undergo the Metkayina Iknimaya and fully integrate themselves into the clan. Relationships also begin to bloom: Lo’ak and Tsireya, and Spider and Rotxo. Spider and Rotxo’s courtship started off as mere friendship then developed into a deeper romance. They bonded over the love of their younger siblings and family, the love they have of Eywa’s creatures and love for the sea. He reminds him of Neteyam and Spider can’t help but think of his parents and brother back at home, not knowing if they were on their way here or not.

The Metkayina have shown them great hospitality upon accepting their uturu. Rotxo made sure Spider and his family and people were comfortable and attended to their needs. A year into their stay, Spider and Rotxo seal their relationship by mating before Eywa, connecting their queues together (Spider’s a smaller but that doesn’t hinder his ability to connect). They each earn a matching tattoo for their mating and another to mark the start of their new family.

All is well in paradise until Awa’atlu is decimated with missile bombs from approaching RDA ships. Blindsided by the attack, the Metkayina attempt to flee and fight back the attackers that breached their land. In the midst of the chaos, Spider and Rotxo are defending Spider’s siblings when Spider’s suddenly tased from behind and ripped from Rotxo’s grasp, unconscious and bleeding.

He wakes up not in Awa’atlu but somewhere else, gray and metal and confined with no escape. He’s questioned and tortured and beaten, and he doesn’t cooperate. He fights back. But it only worsens when he’s out through a machine that attempts to read his mind and he resists with all his power. He notices the black specs on the machine, and for a fleeting second thought it was dried blood. The days blur themselves mercilessly without pause - wake up, fight, machine, scream, thrown back in cell, sleep, repeat. He doesn’t know how long he’s been there but they move him one day to another cell and finds himself next to another prisoner he’s never seen before — a young girl, probably Lo’ak’s age, in the same condition he was in. She looked dead, unmoving in her slumped place on the floor. But the minute rise and fall of her chest indicates she was breathing and alive — and bleeding all over and in black. His mind clicks with the specks he saw in the machine before and he puts two and two together.

That was her blood. She must have fought too.

He finds out her name is Madi and she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She spoke of a world alien to him, and he comes to the conclusion she must be an alien from outer space, given she’d travelled on space ships and had been on other planets. How she ended up here was a total mystery, she didn’t remember herself.

Time passes — how much, they couldn’t keep track of. One time they tried to escape, only to be recaptured and bound. As punishment, Spider is forced to watch their captors tie down and drill into Madi’s bones to extract her marrow, ignoring her screams of pain. They don’t stop until she is in near critical condition and forcibly injects her marrow into him, stating that if she dies, they would at least still have him to work with.

Madi ends up living but isn’t faring well. They begin a new experiment with her, this time using a shard of metal they called an Allspark fragment. Something goes horribly wrong the moment they start. An explosion rocks the facility and unknown to everyone there, that explosion triggered the Autobots’ radar.

The Autobots launch a search and rescue mission to Mount Weather, the explosion leaking dangerous amounts of radiation across the mountain. The nearby towns are all evacuated. They excavate and find Spider and Madi unconscious, barely alive. They’re shocked to find them emitting weak newspark signatures despite the fact that they were humans.

Taken back to Diego Garcia, the pair recover slowly and painfully, hostile to their rescuers at first before slowly learning to trust them enough that they wouldn’t be harmed. Spider calls them demons, much to Madi and the Autobots confusion.

Spider and Madi venture the island after their recovery. Spider recognizes a specific plant that is used in signal fires and with the Autobots’ permission, light one up in hopes of making some type of contact. Unbeknownst to the Autobots and NEST soldiers stationed with them topside, there is movement in the water as shadows travel through the night.

The encounter that occurs between the newly arrived Metkayina Na’vi and the Autobots is tense, like a strung bow about to be shot. None of them attack, the Metayina especially given how tight Will’s grasp on Spider’s arm was, guns pointed at them.

Spider feels something flicker and twist inside him. Scanning the figures he searches, recognizing the two that approach — Kiri and Aonung — and attempts to call out something the Autobots nor NEST soldiers couldn’t understand. Everyone goes into a panic when suddenly he starts seizing and collapses, blacking out.

Spider manages to recover from the episode with the help of Ratchet and Kiri working together to save her brother. When he fully reawakens, he’s greeted by the sight of his sister Kiri and brothers Aonung and Lo’ak. And lastly, he gasps, Rotxo. They’re both speechless, full of tears, their bond broken for so long yet the moment they’re within one another’s presence, Spider feels it snap back into place. Ah, that’s what he felt earlier. He can’t stop crying as Rotxo holds him, gentle yet firm as if afraid he’s disappear.

They take their time healing and recuperating and rejoicing the founding of their brother, thanking Madi and the Autobots by safely harboring him. In the midst of catch up, he notices Kiri is wearing a familiar looking armband — one that Spider had made for Neteyam before they separated and asked if they heard anything from the Omaticaya. He learns that the situation has worsened, their people targeted and their homes destroyed. Word of Neteyam’s fate came with the arrival of Jake and Neytiri to Awa’atlu about a year ago. It was supposed to be Neteyam and Neytiri, but that didn’t go as planned. Neteyam took the shot meant for Jake and died bleeding in his parents arms, wanting to see his brothers and sisters again. They came by ikran, perhaps with a dozen others, a quarter of who they left behind to defend Hometree village.

Spider spent the next few days walking aimlessly on the beach of Diego Garcia while the others made talk for wartime negotiations. His baby brother lay with Eywa, dead. And it was all his fault.

Neteyam had followed Spider’s orders to the letter, like he did with everything in his life. He knew he would because Neteyam didn’t want to let anyone down, especially Spider.

Spider felt a dull ache and numbness in his chest. He couldn’t feel anything, half-alive, and wished he could take his words back, fought harder to stay, to protect his taller yet younger sibling who he confided everything to. His rock.

Spider promised he would protect all his younger siblings. Yet he failed to protect Neteyam.

He failed Neteyam. Tears slipped down his face, pooling at the bottom do his mask.

And he dared to asked Eywa why she took his baby brother away when it should be been him.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

let's forget about the vow for a second and even about erwin. do you think in general levi's character went downhill in s4? for a long time i was strongly against this, i believed people wanted him to still be the same character from s1-3 but it was impossible after everything they went through and i do believe people think hange being the commander means only they were affected by the heavy burden of this new world they discovered but it was just 2 veterans and a handful of kids after rts arc levi and hange must relied on each other heavily. those were my reasons to explain his character in s4 but now that we are watching s4 happen i think isayama was too focused on the rumbling and he lost the natural flow of the story unlike 1-3. characters' dumb decision couldnt only be explained by stress and depression, questionable decisions and all. i wish he found a better way to handle levi's character. what saved levi was his conclusion. best in the entire manga for me. that's a lot of questions im sorry but whatwould happen to erwin if he survived i mean saved by the titan serum? a lot of people believe he'd still be kicking ass but unpopular opinion, everything in the manga indicates that his story and arc would be complete at that basement and after leading everyone to their death surviving would cause more damage to erwin, it's one thing soldiers dying during an expedition and completely different thing leading them to their certain death, promising you'll die alongside them and then surviving. i cant see him being what everyone expects him to be due to his mental state. that's the only reason im glad he died when his character was at his very best, i believe his character would be butchered by isayama in s4.

I’m going to skip over the first part of this ask because it’s basically asking the same questions as the previous ask I’ve just answered. In fact I strongly suspect these are from the same Anon.  (Say hello Anon, don’t be shy!)

So first off, this definitely isn’t an unpopular opinion, there are a lot of people who believe that if Erwin had survived and reached the basement, he would have lost all motivation once he had achieved his dream.  Those who vehemently dislike Erwin tend to argue this is because he is selfish and cared nothing for humanity, only his dream.  Those who love Erwin are more likely to feel that he would be so crippled by guilt that he would sink into the depths of depression.  

Personally I’m inclined to agree that Erwin would have suffered horribly from survivors' guilt for exactly the reasons you said.  However I also think the fact that he had vindicated his fathers theories, and revealed the truth of the world to boot, would have galvanised him into action. I also think that if Erwin had received the serum and the Colossal Titan he would have felt a responsibility to use that power judiciously.  With all that power and knowledge at his disposal I think Erwin would have done everything he was capable of to resolve the conflict between Paradis and the rest of the world, and prevent the rumbling.  

Of course the coda to this is that it depends on whether Levi also survives in this hypothetical “Erwin lives” scenario.  Several writers have seized on Diasuke Ono’s description of Levi as "the last store of Erwin’s humanity", to speculate on what might happen if Erwin lived, but he lost Levi and his humanity.  One of the best explorations of this scenario I’ve read is @huxandthehound's magnificent Like a God, Raged.  My version of Erwin lives / Levi dies is Broken.

You’re right that Erwin’s story arc, as it’s written in the manga, does end with the basement.  Isayama has said (I forget where) that he had always intended for Erwin to die at this point in the story, though of course that’s not the last we see of him.  There are multiple flashbacks and memories of Erwin and he is always, without exception, remembered in a positive light. And of course there’s also the amazing sequence where Erwin and the Veterans welcome Hange to the afterlife.  Far from butchering Erwin’s character, I think Isayama portrays Erwin very sympathetically in the later arcs of the story.

[munsons-maiden]

TW: drug abuse, vague hints of child abuse (physical and verbal) Warning: message is long and rambly Personally I can see Eddie taking more serious drugs in the past. I headcanon that growing up Eddie was often witness to serious drug taking and although he felt uncomfortable and at times scared around his father and his dad’s junkie friends, tragically he thought that drug taking, no matter the classification, was the norm and not a big deal. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that Eddie was ever an addict; but he could have easily descended down that path if he had continued living with his father / continued living in the toxic environment of his childhood. Eddie had become resigned to the belief that he would eventually be like his father (although never violent or cruel; such traits were just and would never be in him). It was only when he moved in with Wayne that he started thinking that maybe he wasn’t doomed to be like his dad. I mean Wayne was a Munson who had the same upbringing as Eddie’s dad (just my headcanon), yet Wayne wasn’t a violent deadbeat who blamed his problems on everyone else - when drunk Eddie’s dad would blame literally everyone for his crap life even Eddie (which did wonders for Eddie’s already crippling self esteem 🥺) - but Wayne was a survivor. Despite being dealt the same crap hand, Wayne had created a life for himself. He had a steady job, he was well liked by his colleagues and he had his own home. Sure he was called “trailer park trash” and “just another Munson” by the snobs of Hawkins, but those who knew him respected him. Most importantly though Wayne had given Eddie a home. To Wayne there was no question of him taking Eddie in. He was family and he needed him - that was all that mattered. (Some of Eddie’s looking after “lost sheep” is rooted in Wayne’s looking after him when he was lost, alone and vulnerable.) Eddie wanted (wants) Wayne to be proud of him so he stopped taking the harder drugs (Special K, pills, LSD) and gradually decreased how much weed he smoked - he only smokes the occasional joint now. Also seeing Wayne in a police station coming to bail him out made Eddie ashamed in a way he had never felt before. I think the reason he still deals drugs is because he wants to financially contribute to the Munson household. Wayne has never said anything, but Eddie knows that his uncle has to work longer hours because he now has two mouths to feed. Wayne doesn’t think anything of it - it’s a parent’s duty to provide for their kid - but Eddie does. There is still some guilt there of him burdening Wayne with his living with him. Eddie wants to help Wayne any way he can. He knows no-one will give him a job, not with his reputation, so Eddie resorts to selling drugs. (Also Eddie cannot work full-time as he is bloody determined to graduate. None of his family graduated and Eddie is desperate to prove to himself and Hawkins that he is not like his dad.) And so to financially help Wayne, Eddie sells drugs. Wayne has realised that it is pointless arguing with Eddie to stop - his nephew can be very stubborn - but he has made him promise not to sell any hard drugs; he doesn’t want his boy going to prison. I headcanon that Eddie bought the Special K before he made this promise hence why it was in the trailer in the first place and why Eddie struggled to find it. Maybe I’m just naive but those are my theories on Eddie’s relationship with drugs. Curious to hear your thoughts babe. Also I apologise for this long ass message. I have no one else to talk about our darling Eddie with in RL 😭

--

Hi dear! Please never apologize for sending long messages, I love hearing all your takes and headcanons and thoughts on Eddie!🖤

Second, omg. This ripped out my heart and then put it slowly back together and I can definitely see that. There's no way Eddie's father didn't have anything to do with harder drugs, and the way you summed it up makes absolute perfect sense. It's definitely possible that Eddie started veering down the dark path of hard drugs but was caught and it was the turning point just at the right moment.

One addition (because I've went through several semesters learning everything about drugs and drug abuse and cannot shut up): Special K is not a hard drug. It's a bit harder than weed, but it's used as anaesthesia for infants and at the vet, and it's a very common treatment for fresh trauma and the very hard cases of depression. While, like with most substances, there is a possibility to get dependent on it (not addicted! addicted = physical, dependent = psychological), that risk is classified as lower than for weed even. Adding to that, LSD and Ecstasy - common party drugs especially in the Eighties - are classified as less dangerous than alcohol regarding the risk for addiction. When I talk about hard drugs, I'm talking about those drugs bearing a high risk for addiction and/or dependency when taken (more than) once, which are coke, crack, speed, dope, meth, heroin, you name it. Since Eddie canonically doesn't show any symptoms of withdrawal or anything the likes, we know he isn't addicted to anything (except maybe from cigarettes but as I said, I don't think he is) means he's staying away from those drugs now. I agree with you that he might have started veering down that path but pulled himself together before he could really go down the metaphorical rabbit hole (disclaimer: this is in no way meant to demonize addicts or anything, it's just that I don't believe Eddie ever struggled with addiction).

I don't think if he had actually started going down the path of hard drugs in the past, he'd still be selling any drugs at all, not even weed, because it would hit too close to the path he steers clear of now.

And I'm wondering if his dad lived in Hawkins with him, or if Eddie only came to Hawkins to live with Wayne. If that's the case, it would canonically imply that, since Eddie has been in Hawkins for the final year of middle school (he and Chrissy hung out at the talent show in middle school, Corroded Coffin already existed then which means his friends = support system existed already back then. Since He was held back twice, the only possible way for Eddie and Chrissy's paths to cross in middle school would be that it was in his last and her first year since middle school has 3 years). Which means there are two possibilities:

a) He lived with his dad outside of Hawkins -> came to Hawkins some time before or during his last year of middle school (when he was 13? 14?) to live with Wayne

b) His dad lived in Hawkins so Eddie lived in Hawkins all his life and we can't know when Wayne took him in.

If a) is true, Wayne taking Eddie in might have come just at the right time to help keep Eddie off the dark path from the start (it is canonically implied how much Wayne cares for and loves Eddie. Wayne is Eddie's Joyce Byers, which would put Eddie's dad in the position of Lonnie. I'd argue Wayne's influence on Eddie was very similar to that Joyce had on Jonathan - comparing Edie and Jonathan here because they had similar backgrounds at a similar age).

If b) is true, it's possible Eddie had a time where he struggled and was already off the right path but the scared straight moment came at the right time to prevent him from going down the rabbit hole any further and he turned his life around, with Wayne's influence playing a role in it (your headcanon).

My personal headcanon is a) for the simple reason that b) would break my heart even more but I think both are equally possible.

About the present:

First of all, I absolutely agree with your take on the dealing. I think we can say it's canon or at least heavily implied that Eddie doesn't deal hard drugs - he's not the type for that. Hard drugs are destroying lives and killing people and it feels very out of character for Eddie to earn money with that, no matter how much he might need the money. I do, however, think the Special K and pills we see in his stash aren't leftovers from before (again, they aren't hard drugs - he wouldn't have given Chrissy or anyone else hard drugs). He was shocked/surprised when Chrissy asked for something stronger than weed in the woods scene, which might have been because he wouldn't have pegged Chrissy as someone who'd ask for stronger stuff or because he hardly ever sells stronger stuff than weed or maybe both, idk. But since he was searching for the stash with the stronger drugs for half an eternity, only remembering they were somewhere but not where, it's safe to say he neither sells nor does the stronger-than-weed stuff regularly. Which makes me headcanon that 99% of the time he sells weed (and if he takes drugs, it's weed 99% of the time as well, I'd wager. He talks about Special K in a way that implies he has taken it a few times before but again, it doesn't seem to be a regular thing. We don't know anything about the rest of the party drugs. I can see him selling them as well, and dabbling in them/taking them occasionally since the Eighties were pretty chill about party drugs as far as I can tell as someone who was born in the late Nineties - but that's all just headcanon because nothing in canon implies anything except that he's taken Special K a few times.) I vaguely remember a post from 2020/2021 when all the new characters were introduced in a few sentences calling Eddie a small-scale drug dealer or something like that (*Eddie's voice in my head* "SoMetHing LiKe tHat" like he does in the cafeteria making me realize once again I'm in very deep and will stay there for the rest of my existence), if anyone remembers, let me know.

And lastly the REASON for why he deals drugs: I completely agree. He makes a few jokes about his wealth (/lack thereof) when talking to Chrissy ("this is my castle", "the maid took the week off", "he works nights at the plant, bringing home the big bucks"). It never sounds ashamed, but rather a bit insecure which might be just the presence of Chrissy who (crush or no crush depending on whether you ship them or not, that's irrelevant here) clearly comes from a middle class or even upper middle class family with a big house etc. And I mean, if they were wealthy they wouldn't live at the trailer park but I wanted to point it out. I don't think Wayne would ever take the money Eddie makes - no matter whether through drug deals or whether he worked at Scoops - and Eddie probably doesn't want to ask Wayne for money (and there wouldn't be much left, anyways, to give to Eddie) but all the guitars and band equipment and D&D stuff we see in his rooms and the van aren't cheap so it seems the dealing is a way to finance his hobbies. And bringing in Eddie's comment "I swore to myself I wouldn't wind up like he did" and his obvious discontent with having to hotwire the camper in that moment imply that he wants to steer as clear of criminal activity as he can. I said it before and I'll say it again, though: working at Scoop's to sell ice cream to mean kids in a sailor's costume for three bucks an hour vs. selling weed and maybe a few party drugs...personally, I know what I'd prefer and it might simply be that Wayne sees it the same way.

Canonically, Wayne has to know Eddie deals or at least has dealt because Susan Hargrove commented the police arriving with "looks like that Munson boy got himself into trouble again" which sounds like it's a) not the first time it happened which b) is pretty impressive considering the Hargrove-Mayfields have been living at the trailer park only for a few months. But it can't have been harder offences because Hawkins is small and people know each other and we all know how the gossip mills are working so if Eddie had been busted for harder crimes, there's no way the Sinclairs, Claudia Henderson or Karen Wheeler would've let their kids join Eddie's D&D club and hang out with a criminal. I have so many questions. But underage drinking meant/means drinking below the age of 21 (which he isn't, he's 20) and it includes a single bottle of beer. Add to that the fact that the police tends to look very hard at those hailing from trailer parks instead of white-picket-fence homes and it's easily possible that Eddie got busted for drinking a beer instead of selling drugs. (Which makes me imagine Callahan the ignorant twat waffle sacking Eddie for drinking a bottle of beer while Eddie's on the backseat of the police car, his vest stacked with ounces of weed he was going to sell at some party that night, not sure whether he should laugh or cry😂)

And I agree, if he knows Wayne doesn't like Eddie's doing it but he can't stop him and he sees why he's doing it and that it's harmless stuff Eddie deals so they might have an agreement like "stay away from harder stuff and make sure I'm not called away from work at 3am because the cops got you and do what you have to since I can hardly stop you anyways". And I agree with your take that while Wayne doesn't see it as a burden that he has two mouths to feed (which is part of his A+ parenting, in this house we stan Wayne Munson) I feel that the time with his father and most probably his father's comments on Eddie being a burden, Eddie still sees himself that way. Which breaks my heart. But yeah, I think that's another reason why he'd want to finance his hobbies himself and he wouldn't ask Wayne for money even if there was some left to spare at the end of the month.

OR, another possibility: Eddie mentions that Corroded Coffin plays at the Hideout every Tuesday, which means they're getting paid for the gigs. Since Wayne and Eddie have very different daily routines (Wayne works nights at the plant) it's possible that Wayne thinks the money Eddie uses to finance his hobbies comes from the gigs and really doesn't know of Eddie's little side business or knew at some point and Eddie reassured him he's stopped. But the way I see it, Wayne is too attentive to not realize his nephew is dealing weed.

Possibility number three - my favorite, I think - would be: Wayne knows Eddie by heart. So much so that he knows Eddie didn't kill Chrissy even though everything looked like he did. But Wayne didn't hesitate or falter even for a second. He knew, with all his heart, that Eddie didn't have it in him. I could imagine Wayne knows that Eddie in general doesn't have it in him to go down the darker path. As you said, if anyone knows life can be tough and unfair, it's Wayne. Maybe he doesn't see any harm in Eddie dealing weed and the occasional party drug to buy stuff for the hobbies that make him truly happy, because those hobbies are huge protective factors to keep someone off darker paths. And since he knows Eddie wouldn't dabble in hard drugs, and he wouldn't steal cars or whatever, he knows dealing weed and the occasional party drug isn't something Eddie is passionate about but does so he has the money to do the things he's actually passionate about. He keeps a close eye on everything, but he doesn't intervene since there's no danger here.

The question still remains: why the fuck was Eddie searching for the Special K in his kitchen???😂

Again, NEVER apologize for sending long messages, darling! 🖤

[crappyyuki]

TheFamousFilms doodles!

I can’t stop drawing this guy. He’s kinda my favorite. By a lot. So here’s more Fnaf!Bryan doodles!

An au. But with a bit of canonicity? I don’t really know how to explain it.

It’s technically canon that Bryan has survivors guilt. Duh. My guy killed all of his friends in a single night and was only able to save one. And said one died in the end (but not in this au :D) Bruh. Who wouldn’t be traumatized?

And to put more insult to injury, he basically gaslit himself into thinking that said friends weren’t dead. For a year. By hanging out with clones. Clones. And he only came to accept that fact after the clones died. Like bro, he willingly chose to believe that living (he practically lived in that park in S2) with cop outs was better than, y’know, grieving.

He needs therapy. A lot.

But yeah. This is a canon divergence where Bryan never died. But did something stupid anyway. That’s not the point though. These doodles focus on how he acts in this au (hopefully I got the cold attitude down with that one pose XD) and his crippling guilt. So. Yeah.

Also buff Bryan for life. My guy broke a stone counter with barehands. Don’t tell me he ain’t packing some muscles.

And a personal headcanon of mine? Pigpatch was the one that trained him :)

(If you see it, you see it. Hint: put the brightness to max. I’m sorry for your eyeballs.)