#and he was like FFS DO U WANT TO LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN BOY OR SMTH

[andthespidersfrommars]

anyone got some tips dealing w homophobic/transphobic parents when you still live with them? I’m having an especially bad month, and my dad is being unbearable

[butterfluffy]

“love me!”

⠀⠀ੈ♡˳· how would these supernovas react when you don't say “i love you too” to them?

⠀⠀➧ smol angst, not really tho | m. d. luffy, r. zoro, t. law, e. kid, killer, b. hawkins, (diez) x drake, j. bonney (separate) x gn!reader | multi-character headcanons + scenario

⠀⠀➧ warnings — none. tiny angst if u squint...! mistakes may be present too.. so do ignore them, thanks!

⠀⠀➧ requests are closed until further notice!

⠀⠀꒰ 🍨 ꒱ notes: PLS DON'T PLAY AROUND AND NOT SAY ILYT TO THESE BABIES. 😭

MONKEY D. LUFFY

Stares you down as the once big smile on his face fades away by each second that passed without you saying those three words back to him.

Like, 😁 → 😀 → 🙂 → 😐 → ☹️

He tries to be patient, waiting for you to say it back—but you didn't.

Luffy then looks at you in disbelief, frowning like a child, grumbling about how you won't say “I love you too.”

“Hey y/n! i love youuu...!” Luffy exclaims, pulling you into a quick embrace then looking at you with bright eyes, waiting for your response.

“Mhm-mhm. Thanks Luffy.” You hummed, ruffling the boy's hair as he chuckled, eyes still on you, head tilted to the side, the big smile on his face slowly fading away.

“..So? Y/n, what else you gonna say?” He muttered, scratching the back of his head as you shrugged, walking away from him with a cheeky grin.

“Hey, wait! You're supposed to say “I love you too”! Right, Usopp!? They're supposed to say that!!” He grumbled to his friend who sweat-dropped, just nodding his head as Luffy caught up to you, getting you to spill an ilyt for him.

RORONOA ZORO

Zoro is shy with saying “I love you,” so he'd be looking away from you if he does

...He will then do a slow head turn when he fails to hear your i-love-you-too—

Followed by a “ha!?” expression on his face, irritated that you didn't return the I love you.

Just say ilyt ffs. 😠💔 - R. Zoro

“..Mhm, I love you.” Zoro mutters, caressing your back, faced away from you as he spoke, obviously shying from saying those three words.

“Thanks.” You hummed as Zoro jolted, doing a slow head turn to see you with a smile on your face that contrasted his irritated “ha!?” look.

“The hell you mean “Thanks.”...!?” The moss head growls, mimicking the way you said your words, causing you to chuckle at his attempt and expression.

“..Nothin', hehe...!” “Don't “hehe...!” me and just say “I love you too,” for fuck's sake..”

TRAFALGAR LAW

Law rarely says his I love you's or I love you too's, so not returning them is... 😦

Honey, just don't. Please do not try to not say ilyt/ily.

Traffy will either be gloomy the whole day or will pretend that you simply don't exist, out of annoyance from your dumb little act.

That's right. His petty ass will be ignoring you unless you apologize and shower him with love.

“Law, don't you love me anymoreee? You never say “I love you” to me at all, it's making me sad, like, reaaallyyy sad..!” You muttered, a pout on your face, that got Law playfully rolling his eyes.

“Tsk.. I love you. There. I said it, so stop complaining and saying that I never say I love you.” Law says under his breath, then kissing your forehead, causing heat to creep up your cheeks, same as a sneaky idea..

“Okay.” You snickered, stifling a laugh when Law reacted to your reply by having his mouth fall agape, frowning, then pulling his hat down, hiding his face.

“Alright.” Returning the cold reply, Law then left you, ignoring you for the rest of the day until you apologized and gave him a kiss as a sorry..

EUSTASS KID

Oh nooooooo, darling, nooo......

This tulip man will go from 😀 then 😡😡😡😡 within seconds.

Prepare for a small fight, yeah. Cuz he'll be rambling again and again until you finally say ilyt.

Won't be satisfied by just that though, so you'll need to woo this forking man-child with explosive anger issues. Good luck.

“Damn, I fuckin' love ya, darling.” Kid admits after kissing you with his red painted lips that is curved up into a big, smug grin that you badly want to wipe away, so..

“Sure.” You dryly replied, leaving Kid's side after, knowing that he'll be exploding soon. I mean, you tried to leave.

“WHAT THE FUCK!?? YOU DON'T SAY “SURE” AFTER I JUST SAID I LOVE YOU, YOU SHIT HEAD!!! YOU SAY I LOVE YOU TOO!!” Kid growls, holding you off from getting away from him.

“Alright, alright, I'm sorry! I love you too, okayyy!? Now don't be such an angry tulip, damn it!” You shout, holding Kid's cheeks then kissing his nose to cool him off, which worked. Luckily.

KILLER

Silent treatment go brrttttt... 🙂🙂🙂🙂

Kil will just be there, not saying a single word at you, but he still does acts of service here and there.

Gives you space, thinking that you're mad with him or something. Not wanting to fight with you, unlike a certain someone..

A little petty though. He won't say I love you again, unless you initiate it first.

“Love you.” Killer hums as he held your hand, caressing it, then kissing it despite having his mask on. Still showing you his acts of love.

“Yeah.” You muttered, causing Killer to pause, letting go of your hand. A sigh escaping his mouth before he left without a word for a few hours, then returning to you with a snack.

“Ah, Kil. Thank you.” You said with a smile, only receiving a nod from Killer who remained silent. “By the way, Kil...”

“Love you.” You whisper, kissing him, causing the blond male to finally speak up, a smile on his face, hiding under his mask. “Mhm, love you too..”

BASIL HAWKINS

Blankly stares at you with his eyes squinted before sighing, letting you be.

Hawkins doesn't let that act of yours effect his life, in short, he.. Doesn't care. Kinda... 😗😗

Goes a little distant with you bcs of that, but Hawkins is still watching you from a far, analyzing what's the matter with u.

Then consults his cards, shaking his head by the answer it gave, cracking a smile on his stoic face by your antics.

“..I love you, Y/n.” Hawkins, your lover, whispers. Pecking your lips after he spoke, while you let out a small hum in response, just smiling at him...

Staring you down in silence with his red eyes squinted at you, Hawkins then shrugged, walking off and continuing his work. Trying to ignore the fact that you didn't say ilyt.

He tried. He really did. But his curiosity got the best of him, so he ended up consulting his cards, revealing the truth—

“Y/n, the cards told me what you're up to. Quite silly, I admit.” The blond man says, a rare expression displayed on his face; a smile, and a chuckle leaving his lips..

(DIEZ) X DRAKE

Shocked. Very, very shocked, and heart broken by not hearing your sweet reply of I love you too.

And then he panics, thinking of what he did to upset you so much that you didn't say ilyt to him.

Dino man then does various romantic acts to woo you.

Pls gib my ilyt. 🥹💔 - Heart broken dino man

“Hon, I'm off to work now. Love you.” Bidding his good-bye, Drake gave you a sweet kiss and an ily before he left, waiting for you to say it back—

“Mhm, okay. Take care.” You hum, giving him a hug instead of what he's waiting for. Taken back, Drake stood by the door, looking at you with a small pout.

“..Never mind. I'll call work and tell them that I'll leave next week instead.” He sighs out, dropping his things to the floor, closing the door and returning inside, to you.

“Oh, why? Not that I'm complaining though..” You mutter as your husband looks at you, scratching his nape. “Because, uhm, well my dearest won't say I love you too. So I won't leave until you do..”

JEWELRY BONNEY

Uhm, hellooooo?? Excuse me, where the hell is my ilyt at???? - Ms. Glutton

Confusion to the max.

Repeats her ily again and again until you finally give your reply that she awaits.

Will literally turn into a child if you still don't though, or tackles you to the groud and squish ur cheeks, demanding an ilyt.

“I love yoooouuuuuu!” Bonney brightly exclaims, pouncing on you to give you a tight embrace, peppering your face with her sweet, sweet kisses.

“Aww, how sweet, Bonney.” You chuckle, kissing her cheek, while the girl blinks twice at you.

“Uhm, what? I said, I love you.” Bonney says with a pout, repeating what she had previously said, as you gave the same reply again and again each time she repeats her I love you.

“God damnit! That's not the reply I want to hear! It's ‘I love you too, my dearest, Bonney’!” She shouts, tackling you to the floor and then pinching your cheeks, not letting you go until you said the magic words that will leave her heart fluttering.

© butterfluffy 2023

⠀⠀ʚїɞ · likes, comments, reblogs, and/or feedbacks are highly appreciated!

[tragically-jane-doe]

I'll never be able to acutely explain how lovely and disappointing it was that I figured out who the fuck killed Luke with in the 1st few episode chapter thing anyways me screaming about who dun did it in read more thing a ma bob so like

SPOLIERS for the book

Murder in the family

IVE SEEN TO MANY CRIME SHOWS AND HAVE ZERO FAITH IN KIDS LIKE HOLY FUCK NO ONE THOUGHT TO LOOK INTO THE KIDS A BIT MORE AT THE TIME LIKE CMON YOU WANT ME TO BELIEVE THAT GUY HEARD NOTHING WHEN HIS STEP FATHER WAS KILLED MR I WAS 10!!!!

Anyway it was repeated so fucking much guy was only 10 guy was the only one at home like c'mon baby please hear me out kids can be fucked up

But like so disappointing cause I got reced this book offa tiktok and like the ppl who read it said they didn't see it coming and I was so fucking excited for that I was ready to take fucking notes my dude I did I took notes for all of 3 chapters and they did nothing for me because of one simple line that cemented that one of those fucking kids did it

Guy "then you called 999"

Maura HESITATES then nods

Like okay why you hesitating baby why your obvs disturbed bout something it's a very known thing that family usually protects family I doubt you'd be doing this for ur mama

But like I understand her I would probably not cover for my sibling but I understand also low-key love how Maura covered for Amelia and Amelia covered for Guy those fucking kids are nutters

POOR FUCKING AMELIA BTW she legit saw guy do it and proceeded to shut the fuck up about it and then 20 YEARS LATER that mother fuckin boy is bout to air the shit like damn also I saw her I saw her little why don't we air his shit text like girl ffs you would have ended that show so fast if you did

And on a different note in one of the reddit bits this chemical thing gets brought up that can make it look like you've had a heart attack I for sure thought they would tie that shit in with Andrew later on like damn you had my ass but also could've tied it in with guy cause u know the last bit

And maybe a tiny bit it was maybe lazy to do that final meeting like c'mon

I also hope Mitch goes to prison which probs he didn't cause time limits and such which actually I'm not sure if London has that like america does and also on the fact that it was statutory so whooo knows but I know I wanted to smack a bitch like how dare how dare you say oh she was sophisticated motherfucker girlie pop was 15 I don't care if she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth she was 15 and you sir were 21 stop referring to yourself as a kid stop it please

ALSO I LOWKEY HATE HOW BILL KNEW A BUNCH OF SHIT B4HAND it kinda ruined the fun for me but the twisty bit of Luke being Eric and Eric being Jonah was neat I'll give them that

Also fuck Nick just fuck him

A film genius though like damn I actually wanted to see the show and had to remind myself it didn't exist

Imagine how fucking insane it would be if it did it would be so fucking huge (if there is a show like this that's real not like fiction I would eat that shit up) but also I have issues with how true crime media is most of the time cause some of it is a bit dick sucking towards the bad dude which in turn has mentally ill women/girls be also very very dick sucking towards the fucking murderer but also some of it is just fucking gross towards to victims

ANYWAYS IM CONFUSED ON HOW TO FEEL ABOUT GUY AND THAT FUCKING SUCKS BECAUSE LALIA EXPLAINED HOW IN THEORY IT HAPPENED BUT LIKE FFS HE WAS A KID AT THE TIME BUT THEN AGAIN HE BASHED THE SHIT OUTTA LUKE

Also for any of the mentally ill bitchs like moi that's watched criminal minds a million and one times my faith in kids was killed off in the ian Gallagher episode and I refuse to ever watch it again it makes my skin crawl

[trickarrows-bishop]

LIVE BLOG OF ME REACTING TO EPISODE FIVE OF HSMTMTS

was gonna do this for episode four and forgot, kinda wish i did after all of THOSE scenes but anyways episode five lets GOOOOOO

[open with caution, i didn't realise how mentally unprepared i was]

THE WAY EJ WAS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING BANNER MADE ME SCREAM TBH LIKE BROTHER U WANT ME TO CRY FR FR

"richard bowen" "elton john" caswen is upon us (i cant even say im delusional because madlyn deadass nearly happened last episode)

"the musical is going swimmingly" girl u drowning dont lie

BYE NOT THE NEVER-ENDINGLY USED PLOT OF THE IDEA OF THE MUSICAL BEING CANCELLED I CANT GET AWAY FROM THIS FR

i gotta say kourtney repeatedly getting her moment is insane. like im so fucking happy rn over it its insane. like she's going therapy (WOOOOO THERAPY !!) and actually looking at her future !! im so happy for her im fr putting ms girl in my pocket

also when i found out her mom is played by dara's actual mom i screamed (not lying im so dramatic bye)

"lets start with questions!!" "great 'cause i have many" she is me and i am her. i am kourtney greene coded fr

4 JOBS??? EJ'S DAD CAN SUCK A DICK FR IDEC HE IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE MAN

i cant even say i want it made up bc ej said its a breath of fresh air and HE NEEDS THAT AIR FFS

"talking to val" WOHOOOO MENTION OF PAST CHARACTERS INSANE BEHAVIOR FROM THE WRITERS !! INSANE !! (im in delusion that nini will be back)

"you do look good" "thanks. you do look... terrible" real. ricky bowen me coded fr

cant believe we havent had one season where gina can just. have the lead. and no drama. like pls tim i was BEGGING like. at season two.

caitlyn (actress playing quinn the director) is so hilarious to me like i've been following her online for ages and bro its so funny seeing her on hsmtmts and doing exactly what she does in her other videos LMAO

"g force" i'll puke. fuck off.

GINA KINDA GAGGED QUINN THERE ???

LMFAO NOT HER CHANGING HER MIND JUST AT THE IDEA OF WINNING AN AWARD

EJ and ricky's duet lol they hate me. they want me to cry. im eight mins in too. cant wait to cry to this fr

update: crying over this duet what the fuc

can i just say how for certain songs on this soundtrack they've been HITTING or absolutely MISSING ???

this girl harper is GAGGING kourt LMAO "i see you standing here right now !!" SHES SO FUNNY FOR NO REASON

miss jenn is not using siri rn.

CARLOS BB :(

SIRI SHUSH WITH UR BEEPING

trust the process WOHOOOO

why is it thunderstorming JESUS

22 pages U FUCKIN WHAT (never been in a musical idk seems like a lot)

why is she always wearing a cheer outfit its deadass like the character's personality is cheer outfit bro

"3 children" i need to buy a GUN

quinn i was just routing for u babe why u posting such bullshit on instagram. and was that a FILTER?

BIG RED???FHHSDHFADSJGHFKSDJHFASDKJBFSKV

BIGGIE ???dFHAKSDHFAKSJDHGFKASHDG IS THAT MY SON ???? MY SON ???? IS HE ALSO WEARING GLASSES WHAT THE FUCK OF FUCKS

anyways let me actually play the scene LOLZ

HIS FIRST WORDS ARE "ASH YOU LOOK AMAZING" BYE CANT DO THIS WHY WAS I ROUTING FOR MADLYN FFS

YK WHAT? ASHLYN HAS TWO HANDS. YEAH. THAT CAN WORK FOR ME

grandma red's 100th!! everyone cheered fr (i am everyone)

"your last text said you had something important to tell me" no i am not about to witness redlyn break up. nononono.

I KNEW IT

THE FUCKING MOMENT SEB SAID HE CHEATED I CONNECTED THE DOTS I WAS LIKE

"HMMMMM BIG RED JUST CAME OUT AS BI ??? YOU CHEATED ???? IDK ??? MAYBE SEB HELPED OR SOMETHING" LITERALLY SAID THAT SHIT OUT LOUD AND I WAS RIGHT HOLY FUCK OF FUCKS

"surprise!!" boy- i don't have TIME to even unPACK-

"you okay?" "i am GREAT" me when i LIE

HOLD UP

DID HE JUST

DID RICHARD JUST

MENTION NINI???? WHA

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

THIS WASN'T ON MY HSMTMTS SEASON 4 BINGO CARD?!!!!????

yeah im salty about how shit of an exit that was for nini. next question.

"afraid of the truth?" do u want me to try and make this gay or not richard cuz i stg u are giving me some mixed ass signals

nevermind this is really sad and heartbreaking let me shut the fuck up

AND NOW WE GO BACK TO REDLYN OKAYYYY

THE MOVIES??? BIG RED AND SEB AT THE MOVIES ???

all of this is just so out of character for big red and seb like what

like ej was right there tim come ON

"we were at a harry styles movie" not the fucking millennial ass writing coming in NOW

"my bi origin story" how am i supposed to feel rn??? because i don't know how to feel. like. anything. at all.

GIRL YOU BETTER TELL HIM ABOUT VAL OR MADDOX ???

"yeah!!! she was cute!!!" "yes. she was." BAHAHHAHAJHFGDSKJ

"wait..." NOT THAT BEING THE WAY SHE CAME OUT BAHHDSJH

"there were fireworks... literally"

OHHHHH SHES TALKING ABOUT MADDOX TOO UHM

"YOU almost kissed MADDOX" bro idk if ur disgusted or proud pls elaborate

OH HE KNEW FROM THE DOC LMFAO

wait so im just like ??? meant to let go of redlyn ??

"im happy for you" kms where can i get a big red

aLSO I WANT A NAME REVEAL tim PLEASE

just watched redlyn break up. now FUCKING WHAT

"friends, though... right?" YOU BET YOUR ASS KING

"i will apologise to carlos. BUT YOU NEED TO CALL MADDOX" SO REAL THANK YOU BIG RED UR SUCH A KING

ashlyn stop doubting urself like GIRLIE everyone with EYES is down bad please. PLEASE.

WHY AM I WATCHING CARLOS AND MISS JENN HAVE A CRY SESSION ON SOME RANDOM ASS COUCH ???

why is rehearsals starting at 7 in the evening. that would not fucking slide at my school. ( if i ran a school) (not happening)

"FIFTY SIX MINUTES" girl even made me move tf?

KOURTNEY'S SHOES WHAT THE FUCK I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW

oh come on just hearing all of that she HAS to go to lewis

"i just learnt mack and gina are minors" GIRL ??? WHAT DID YOU THINK-

quinn shouting "CUT!!!" louder every time

"which felt like... nine days" WHY AM I LAUGHING

"because we're friends-" bro fuck off idc

GAG HIM G IT DONT MATTER

THINK OF THE MUSICAL GINA.

ricky PROMISED FR HE BETTER BE THERE

"hugs i love that we're doing this now!!" emmy I CANT NOT LOVE YOU

ASHLYN U MAKE THAT PHONE CALL THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU I NEED MADLYN RN

oh fuck i didn't realise that left carlos and big red FUCK

suddenly i DON'T want to be here

carlos can never be fully mad like if i found out someone had kissed my partner im 100% going to jail bc im so pissed off & i've probably killed someone, but why is he saying mf "good day!!" as he stormed off

MADISON FUCK OFF I AM NOT IN THE MOOD

fuck im really gonna have to have madlyn dragged out for me ffs

bro what is this weather on about tho

last time weather was important to plot it was like. keeping nini back in s2 e3 LMAO ???

EJ saying some important shit to ricky and its gonna make me cry again (its not even the finale and i have 17 mins of run time left of this episode FFS)

"im actually hurting them?" "no, you're actually hurting yourself" HOLY FUCK IM TOO VULNERABLE FOR THIS

CASWEN HUG AND IM GONNA RUN WITH IT FR

"stealing my girlfriends" BYE I CANT DO THIS

[fishfarmfrankie]

Crackhead Hcs for being with the MHA boys

Tw; I swear but we known that, kinda cringe

These are just some crackhead headcanons I have for being in a relationship with the boys from My Hero and your guys special little weirdo thing

Izuku Midoriya

fuckin baby talk

You seem to have gotten into a bad habit of baby talking Izuku all the time, then he started doing the same to you. Now you guys can’t stop.

You’ll be sitting together at lunch with Ochaco and Iida, and you’ll notice that Izuku has some food at the corner of his mouth. Forgetting that there’s other people around, you’ll wipe it with his shirt and start babbling; 

Y/N-  “Awww bwaby iz so mwessy~ herw I’ll cwean it all ups foa yu moi lil cutie zuzu 🥺🥺”

Deku- “Twank yu babygirl, ywou’re sow pwerfect and noice i lobe yu so mwuch baby UwU”

Y/N- *Pinching Midoriya’s cheeks*  “ey lobe yu twu UwU”

Frankly, everyone is disgusted. As am I.

Bakugou Katsuki

Sometimes when the two are you are arguing you literally just start growling at each other. 

Like once the two of you were just cooking in the kitchen of the UA dorms making dinner and started fighting over who’s the better chef. Y’all get so caught up in the argument with butted heads, puffed out chests and razor sharp eye contact you don’t even notice how foolish the two of you look while you stand there growling at each other like wild wolves. But way more cringey.

When Kiri spots you two. At first he thought you were going in for a kiss but after further investigation he noticed that the both of you were making weird gargling noises without leaning in. 

He thought it best to show the rest of the Bakusquad

Denki is now convinced you two are furries.

Todoroki Shoto

YOU TWO OF YOU ARE ALWAYS FUCKING MATCHING AND I’M NOT SURE IF THIS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED SWAG YOLO OR CRINGEY ASF

As with most things, it started out innocent enough. You had found matching chains and decided to get one for Shoto, everyone thought it was cute, so you moved on colour coordinating outfits. Then shopping together, now you two literally just wear the same outfits, with the same accessories, SAME EVERYTHING. IT’S JUST SO OBNOXIOUSLY IN YOUR FACE LIKE WSERTDRFYTGUYH

Individuality said no🤩

At least when you two pull up to a party y’all PuLl uP

This do be you two tho:

Ejirou Kirishima

Kirishima just randomly bites you. All the fucking time. Sometimes they hurt and sometimes they’re just little gentle ones, but it’s just so aimlessly stupid yet frequent to the point where you don’t even acknowledge it anymore. 

It’s a common occurrence for you to be chilling out on the couch with Sero and Denki, lying upside down with your legs sprawled on the back edge of the couch, when Kiri just walks in, grabs your ankle, bites it, and then leaves to go back outside.

Baku-   “WHAT THE- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?”

Y/N-       “huh? Oh I don’t know he just does that sometimes.”

Baku-     “I- fuck it I’ll never understand you weirdos.”

No one knows when this started, people wonder if it’ll ever end. Either way, it’s cute so you’re fine.

Accurate depiction of Kirishima with his S/o:

Denki Kaminari

Too many crackhead quirks in this relationship to count

Most notably the fact that you two have pretty much devised your own language based purely off of old vines and Tik Toks.

This isn’t really an uncommon thing in relationships (i guess i wouldn’t know), but the problem is that you two do it so fucking much that it pollutes all of class 1-A.

NOW TODOROKI GENUINELY BELIEVES THAT HITTING THE WOAH IS A PERFECTLY VALID FORM OF COMMUNICATION AND YOU’RE ALL OSTRACIZED FOR BEING THE CRINGEY CLASS THAT IS STILL REFERENCING DEEZ NUTS BUT THAT’S JUST BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS THAT IT MEANS ‘DO YOU WANT SOME?’ FFS THIS IS WHY AIZAWA IS RETIRING AT AN EARLY AGE

Sero Hanta

The nicknames smfh😔

It started with ‘Bae’ and ‘my other half’ but now you’re straight up unironically calling him ‘❣💫Big🥵Dick✨Papi😩” and “ 💞Pennis🤤The👅Menace 😘”

Not even in text you guys just call each other this without realizing sometimes in class

Y/n- “Hey honeybear can i borrow a pen”

Sero- “Sure Mi Amor, hey you coming to training after school?”

Y/N- “I don’t know Hunky~boo I have some homework to do and-”

Sero- “Listen Mamacita if you join in we can have some fun afterwards, huh?”

Y/N- “Yes daddy😳.”

U M   Y’ A L L 

[shyampyari]

i fuckin hate it when people try to diss teachers cause they don't teach you about the real world like bro tf you want??? do u want to go to highschool and see your teacher talking about tax evasion???? how to talk to your boss???? how to vote????? how to make your bed?????

Yes but I have gotten teachers fired because they spoke too much about things they didn't have to speak about ffs

So like this one time some time in 2019

There was a circulating meme about one of the iits

Nswf and mentions of masturbation under the cut

There was a notice posting in one of the iits that ppl have to stop masturbation and throwing weird stuff down the boy's hostel drain because it was blocking the draining system and when they checked what was causing the blockage, it was just semen

So ofc there is no way this was true but like

This one time in the class the guys gathered around our chem teacher, away from the girls and like

Was making him look at something on their phone

And regardless, the chem teacher read out the notice, standing in the podium, thinking it was something important

And we girls are just sitting there 👁_👁

And then he proceded to explain how this wasn't possible by explaining the viscosity of an average human cum

[elvencantation]

gyadl liveblog ep19

(previous ep)

-oh shit i forgot this episode is where tianying is gonna marry her brother 🤮

-every time tianci is onscreen i have the overwhelming urge to break his nose. and then his fingers

-hey at least the dad looks like he feels vaguely guilty after she told them she’d said her final goodbye to dumbass xxc

-oh man i’ve almost forgotten what’s happening in the plot. hong lan ran away so she wouldn’t have to marry xxc and now she’s with poor lfs

-LUO FUSHENG I MISSED YOU!!!

-ah, gremlin didi knows when it’s time to make a strategic retreat 😂

-hong lan ur so dramatic. i mean i wouldn’t want to have an arranged marriage either but damn

-she doesn’t deserve u to defend her ur too sweet lfs

-HES TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM!!!!! (except maybe tianying)

-and now hong lan is gonna be mad at him too. despite all he’s doing for her 😒

-or maybe not. but she will eventually no doubt

-such a yummy dinner! perfect timing, my own dinner is about to arrive

-HONG LAN STOP MAKING LUO FUSHENG CRY FFS

-outsider?!!?

-EVERYONE IS MAKING MY BOY SAD AND I DONT LIKE IT AT ALL

-STOP BEING SO GODDAMN SELF SACRIFICING

-WHY U GOTTA BRING UP TIANYING

-THIS IS WHY U GOTTA ASK THE OTHER PERSON BEFORE U DECIDE TO BUILD YOUR LIFE AROUND A DECISION YOUVE MADE FOR THEM

-WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW UNHAPPY

-GREMLIN DIDI NOW IS NOT THE TIME. YOU CLEARLY DONT KNOW THE WHOLE SITUATION OTHERWISE YOU WOULDNT SAY THAT 

-also everyone is being mean to ur ge right now can u be the only person who’s there for him without being mad at him? apparently not 

-i know i should feel bad for xxc but i do not. at this point i’ve said that so many times... and i will say it again i’m sure 😂

-time for the incest marriage!! joy!

-her hair is so prettyyy

-love some fancy braids

-wait there’s a note? for who?? is she running away??!!!! pls run my dear pleeeease

-oh no lfs why did u come why do u torture urself like this

-there’s trouble??? lfs to the rescue??

-oh no somethings wrong with the dad... oH nO wHaT a TrAGeDy....

-wait xxc? with a gun?? OH MY GOD you FUCKING IDIOT

-she doesn’t want to go with u and UR STILL TAKING HER?? she’s made her choice. stupid choice it is but still

-oh my GOD he’s gone crazy. i mean, should’ve seen it coming. he’s always been like this but this is... uh... something else

-first you assume xxc told him his hairbrained plan and now ur refusing his help. ur so fuckin stupid tianci

-WOULD YOU STOP AND LISTEN TO THE WOMAN YOU SUPPOSEDLY LOVE XXC??!!!

-holy FUCK SHE WAS GONNA WHAT?? i didn’t even have time to think what she was knotting the sheets for

-love some good cgi motorcycle scenes

-wait no- don’t tell them about the note

-i don’t get how tianci can still think that lfs is in cahoots with xxc. like no srsly- are you so jealous that it’s killed your only two brain cells?

-luo fusheng constantly gets yelled and misunderstood at but he still helps everyone 😭

-YOU FUCKING TELL TIANCI!! YOU TELL HIM!!!!!!! HES NO DIFFERENT FROM THE MAN HE SO HATES

-just LOVE that her father is gonna use his deathbed guilt to chain her to the troupe and her asshole brother

-oh my GOD all we need right now is a yelling xxc 😒 at this point i hate him just as much as tianci

-ur a FUCKIN DOCTOR my dude. what the FUCK is wrong with you. when i said earlier he’d gone crazy i wasnt entirely serious, but now i am

-as much as i don’t want tianying to have had to watch her dad die, i’m also like- HE COUGHED UP BLOOD AND DIED XXC TAKE THAT

-but of COURSE why would that EVER make him stop yellring and being selfish! no, a dead body is faking it, that’s gotta be it 😒

-she should’ve broken his nose, not just slapped him. but hey, it’s progress!!

-wow ur such a pathetic piece of shit xxc

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me. 

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod. 

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll  drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands). 

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.) 

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you). 

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems: 

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree. 

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg. 

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work. 

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s).  I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes. 

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after. 

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments: 

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it. 

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY

[azrcxlfatale]

under the cut you’ll find saint’s intro, its just a brief run down for now until i get bio pages up but it should help get a sense of the boyo all the same !! he is gentle and friend shaped is all i can say ajjdfg. THIS HAS NOW BEEN UPDATED WITH LIKE FIVE EXTRA LIL MORE CURRENT HEADCANONS! [ they r just like for his own growth nothing major has happened with saint and he’s still fundamentally the same as he was bc he’s always been a more laidback and less tragic muse but feel free to read em bc they do help contextualise how he’ll be career wise and with grandmami] : 

   CHWE SAINT: 

so for the best part of his life saint was raised with his ‘grandmami’ as he terms her, but she’s better known to the whole island as ajumma solmi. for this reason he’s very doting toward her and a real grandma’s boy. he bakes with her often and they can often be found on street corners selling cheap priced but some of the finest flowers to the citizens because it’s grandmami’s tradition and its mostly done in hope to uplift the islanders and bring joy to their day in a small way and act of love. 

when i say doting i mean doTInG, he will help her in and out of chairs, help her cross streets, hold the groceries for her as she crosses, open doors for her even if grandmami insists he stops fussing because ffs saint ur making me look ancient and i’ll have u know i am still fighting fit and could knock any idiot on his ass with a fliCk of my finger. ajdhf. she is v fiery, if saint is like the picture of elegance and good manners then grandmami is the sTARK contrast. she has one hell of a potty mouth and just a no time for ur shit attitude. if anything saint is keeping her in line, not the other way around. 

his quirk is warp gate. he rlly just uses it to entertain himself mostly and help give his pals quick escapes when a prank of some sort has gone wrong. he can basically create portals out of a dark fog which can either be emitted through his breath or openings at the end of his fingers which he can activate, anyone can also use his portals to travel so long as he’s given them permission.

he just exudes sunshine rlly. is well known round the island for his out of this world smile which has been known to charm many. he is a very eligible and sought after bachelor but saint is like...not interested mostly bc he just like has no romantic awareness ahdhfhf not bc he doesn’t want it. and also bc he doesn’t like the way it’s mostly super young girls and guys just like awestruck by him. it feels a little too much like he’s a collective childhood crush by his groupies so yeah he is OBLIVIOUS. 

very humble and incredibly polite. just really down to earth whenever spoken to but being raised by an elderly person kinda makes u a little outdated, for this reason saint is kind of demure and bad at conversation mostly due to the fact he can easily talk for hours about his plans for baking with grandmami later, the book he read her this morning, the lovely walk they took in that gorgeous spot which he rlly recommends etc but he is god awful at talking about like typical young people stuff. 

lot of ppl think he plays hard to get, this is not true, saint just fr does not know how to fuckin speak and is the most oblivious person in the world to how to flirt, he’s easily flustered but bad at knowing when he’s being flirted with or if this person is just rlly nice and is usually too shy and respectful to rlly push luck by flirting in response hfhfjkg. USELESS. 

very 70′s/80′s aesthetic bby boy, sweet summer child. he is obsessed with old classic black and white films, had a collection before he moved to the island which he misses like everyday but luckily he has memorised ten million quotes. also collected records. obsessed with anything retro, is a collector of gaming merch. but he didn’t get to sneak much to the island :-( the only thing he rlly snuck was a small record stash. liked roller skating, bowling, drive in movies. dresses very retro but refined and classy with lots of layering. rlly good knowledge of classic literature. 

most likely to find him at the arcade in the funzone now on the island, he is a master at all the games but esp the old retro ones, usually goes early morning or late evening so he can spend hours uninterrupted on them and beat his high score everyday a bit more. if not there then he’ll be at zen’s computer gaming instead. he likes all tech really but prefers retro, he’s still figuring out modern. before coming to the island he was rlly getting into VR. if he’s not in either of these places, he’ll be on the beach in a volleyball match or doing a jog. still v much into his sports. 

ultimate sike power cause people think he looks like ur typical jock fuckboy but jokes on u he is pure of heart and dumb of ass himbo just blessed with ethereal looks, he is the breed of good lil boyo and that is all. 

obsessed with milkshakes and popcorn at the diners if he’s ever there u can guarantee that is what he is snacking on or treating himself to. his weakness is churros he fucken thinks that shit SLAPS. he’ll do anything if the prize is churros.  sMH someone help his diet. also loves fiddling with the jukeboxes there ajdjd. 

has two pet geckos one is peach colored and called zelda, the other is black and white leopard spotted and named zeus and he also has a chonk of a fluffy grumpy white cat called yoshi. he is the best. saint is a huge animal lover but probably still not on nyx’s level of dog worshipper. 

weeb. not as big of a one as nyx but he likes haikyuu, kuroko no basket, given, fruits basket, free! and yuri! on ice. he is very into anything that is slice of life or sports anime. 

has the nickname ‘koda’ bc of the movie brother bear, nicknamed after the lil baby bear cause he just reminds people of a baby bear ahdhd. 

he studies art, spends half his life in the studio working, big art nerd. once he gets in the work mode, he just does not stop for anything but water and snacks and goes at it all day into half the night. usually does big projects bc he loves a challenge. mostly paints, sometimes sketches. u know those vids of people mixing paint colors like a swatch of gold and turquoise? saint fuckin loves those so bad unf he does that all the time to calm himself. 

still lives with grandmami currently, he’s looking at getting his own place bc everyone tells him if he ever wants to have his own life then he needs to but he’s just v anxious about leaving grandmami on her own bc she getting older by the day and she’s all he has sO she cannot get hurt!! 

also in a bit of a dilemma with his art bc he kinda wants to make something out of it, like maybe teach some classes sort of thing and use it more as a career but right now he does not have the confidence in his ability and is mostly just doing it for fun and as a calming thing ( he’s an idiot he’s rlly fucken good pls someone make him take himself seriously )

never cusses but does say bitchin a lot, only ever uses fuck in bed basically so if u ever hear him say it then u know something next level has gone down bc saint refuses to swear even if he stubbed his pinky toe.

looks like a cinnamon roll but HE FUCKS!! boy is a kinky freak however saint has no shame or embarrassment like he will discuss it as casually as a discussion of what to have for dinner not bc he is like lewd but purely bc to him its rlly natural and like another form of art and he does not get the embarrassment or secret nature of it all like it is just factual to him that we come into the world like that and ppl enjoy it sometimes ajsj. 

gardening enthusiast!! has a fascination with studying plants and insects tbfh. still uses 70′s and 80′s kewl kid slang like unironically someone help him pls. sjjdjf. cute bonus fact: has freckles all over his shoulders and down his back. UWU. 

COUPLE OF CONNECTION IDEAS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD??: 

i would love for him to have a muse for art and/or to be someone’s muse. also and maybe interchangeably someone to kinda be his art mentor and be like saint u could pursue this fr if thats ur dream, then do it pls share this talent dont let ART DIE!!

someone he does gardening and insect studies with who gets his nerdy enthusiasm over it. 

a regular who gets flowers from him and grandmami, maybe he makes a special bouquet for them every day which always has a different meaning in the flower language bc he is soft like that ajjfl

someone who he can take on loads of cute lil platonic diner dinner dates bc he is a huge foodie as we can tell. this one is super fun like I imagine they scam tf outta restaurants that are over priced and for the elite by being like we all kno married couples or people getting engaged, celebrating anniversaries etc tend to get better deals on their meals. so he’s essentially doing this one bc he likes ur muses company and enthusiasm for food but also bc it means cheaper high quality meals for both and a guaranteed good time.

someone to nerd out with him over classic literature or films bc that would be hella cute

maybe someone who is also close with his grandmami and rlly loves spending time with her as well so he kinda trusts them to take care of her and trusts their judgement when they r like saint chill let the lady live okay go and do ur own shit akskf

he usually jogs alone but it would be cool for him to have someone to do that with and like table-tennis and shiz cause he just loves fitness activities and active leisure stuff too. 

maybe someone who is tryna teach him a little more about how to uH TALK LIKE SOMEONE HIS DAMN AGE AND STOP BEING SOME RETRO MAN STUCK IN MODERN TIMES AJDJD

UPDATES:

so a lot about saint hasn’t overly changed because like he just is and has always been a very wholesome laidback boyo but just a few bits of like additional info for his personal growth can be added:

he’s owner and manager of the florist now, grandmami is also there most of the time and handles a lot of stuff when she’s feeling up to it but with her getting more tired more easily from her illness saint needs to head everything really.

he grew up in a neighbourhood on hosu which like consisted of his entire street pretty much being full of his aunts and uncles so now like it’s a street just littered with all his tiny cousins who like to follow him about everywhere and play ball games etc on the street with him and kinda take it over shs. you can hear their joyful playing from like streets over it’s very cute.

his mother gave him up when she realised she was pregnant with him and too young to raise him and that it would hinder her from pursuing the life she wanted with his father. saint doesn’t hold any resentment for her choice, it only bothers him that his grandma has always had a serious illness since the early days of talks of her having no choice but to take him on and that despite this his mother allowed him to be left to her care and another burden on her when she was already so ill.

grandmami is now at a point where she’s hanging in there but she won’t have long left and saint is essentially now her live in carer till her final days which is hard af for him but he refuses to let it show. he’s not sure how he’ll function when he loses her. right now he’s trying to extend the florist business into a wellness one as well and more of an apothecary so he can keep himself stable and busy.

this is more just a cute fun fact but he’s a Christmas Eve baby. uwu lil boyo was born on the night before Christmas bc of course he was sdjdj.

[brothersgrim]

hc and i let him in :\

deadmenanddemons

all the pictures on his wall are john cena

texasrcttlesnake

ALL OF THEM?

deadmenanddemons

YEAH

THE ONES THAT WERE PICTURES OF KANE AND SETH ETC

THEY'RE ALL JOHN

OH BRAUN JUST PISSED BRAY FF

texasrcttlesnake

RIP BRAUN

deadmenanddemons

dsfjgsndfg that was a good bit holy shit

but yeah all the pictures are john now

taker is quietly relieved bray no longer has a picture of his baby brother

but it worried he's gonna have to cut a bitch to get the soul back

texasrcttlesnake

... i am so sad thinking about him having to go get john

deadmenanddemons

He can't just leave him there :/

Kids annoying sure

But he's not a bad guy

And doesn't deserve that

texasrcttlesnake

just completely tormented and broken after everything fiend has put him through

deadmenanddemons

Taker knew how bad bray could be BEFORE this

And taker is the Reaper of souls

It's his duty to go in there and bring John home

Or

Whatever's left

texasrcttlesnake

GOD BRAY IS STUPID

deadmenanddemons

RIGHT

R I G H T

And Braun gives no shits fjnddj

texasrcttlesnake

he fact that he can go from utterly fucking sinister

to :D in one second

deadmenanddemons

Is terrifying

texasrcttlesnake

ITS TERRIFYING AND SO GOOD

deadmenanddemons

Dude snapped like a twig and kept breaking

like i’m screaming but

Friendly reminder that man kidnapped an unconscious shirtless taker to bring him home

texasrcttlesnake

i keep blocking that out

deadmenanddemons

AND LOOK ALL THE PICTURES ARE JOHN NOW

taker wishes he could forget it too

Doesn't want weird swamp man >:( wants his boys

texasrcttlesnake

i’ll say thisas terrifying as bray/fiend are

wyatt family deliverance bullshit is creepy in a way where it’s like.... utterly realistic sociopaths just tormenting people

deadmenanddemons

Y u p

It's just a weird swamp cult

Some of it is spooky but it might be real

In the sense that cults do that

texasrcttlesnake

THATS EXACTLY WHY IT CREEPS ME OUT

and their whole aesthetic was so claustrophobic

deadmenanddemons

YUP

Taker Did Not Like The Swamp

Neither did Kane

texasrcttlesnake

and the fact that they were capable of getting their hands on T W O of the men that have otherwise been untouchable by most people for a couple of decades by that point

was unsettling as fuck

deadmenanddemons

Iirc they got kane cause he went after them with

"uh, give my brother back????? what the fuck I can't believe I have to say that"

People said bray used the urn to keep taker there but I honestly can't remember if that was fanon or canon

texasrcttlesnake

i want to watch that whole feud again but i also don’t because taker being scared Hurts Me Personally and sends the boys to a full on rage panic

but god what good horror movie storytelling

deadmenanddemons

He wanted to go home :(

Bray wanted those boys and damn he was gonna get them :/ ... Until they got out and he realized how bad he fucked up

texasrcttlesnake

taker: give me my brother back 

steve: ???? GIVE ME MY HUSBAND BACK YOU FUCKIN INBRED

deadmenanddemons

Fjfhjfhjjjcxd

Steve smashing a chair on the door cussing up a storm while Harper and Rowan are like ".... you open it" "no you open it"

texasrcttlesnake

and listen if you think for one second that steve would not bust through that door with a shotgun like fucking texan rambo down in the swamp to get the love of his life back

deadmenanddemons

GOD TAKER WOULD BE SO GODDAMN RELIEVED AND NERVOUS AT THE SAME TIME

He doesn’t want Steve to get hurt but he's so goddamn excited

There are very few times in his life taker has WANTED to put on a shirt

texasrcttlesnake

fucking

taker and kane tied to chairs in the back of the house

and it suddenly goes very quiet

deadmenanddemons

Chained probably

They could break ropes

texasrcttlesnake

that’s absolutely true

and bray’s bullshit doesn’t work if there’s any possibility or hope they could escape

but then just

deadmenanddemons

And given that taker didn't just teleport

Hell given that neither of them did he's probably fucked with them somehow

texasrcttlesnake

the urn makes sense for keeping them powerless

swamp air messes with the teleportation

it’s too dense

.... bray doing some kind of binding spell and kane talking shit the whole time to throw it off

deadmenanddemons

... assuming he can speak

Being restrained in a bad place fucks with him

texasrcttlesnake

true i didn’t think about that

deadmenanddemons

And taker is just FURIOUS

Because bray touched his brother

Lots of just. Growling honestly

Maybe a few threats but a lot of snarling and thrashing

One of the wyatts, maybe bray, telling kane he best mind the temperature

Swamp gasses can be quite flammable

Wouldn't want to be caught in another house fire, would he

texasrcttlesnake

o o f

deadmenanddemons

No melting through the chains :/ and might hurt not only himself but his brother if he sets something off

texasrcttlesnake

can’t take the chance, can’t risk it

deadmenanddemons

Might not even work

It was a bad time :(

And if you don't think either brother is above antagonizing a weird swamp cultist to leave the other one alone

Kane spat on one of them :/ big brother needed a break even if he wouldn't admit it

texasrcttlesnake

he’s gotta stay strong for kane

deadmenanddemons

He would rather them just do everything to him and leave kane alone

But unfortunately it goes both ways

So Kane spat on a weird swamp cultist and stared them down til he couldn't

texasrcttlesnake

..... if taker disappeared on the 25th

and kane the next night

they didn’t come back until the 9th....

deadmenanddemons

... oh jesus

14 and 13 days

Gonna beat the shit out of bray, take some very long showers, and just try to sleep (but they probably end up awake and sitting smushed together on the couch. just need to know they're both home and safe)

texasrcttlesnake

two weeks at the max unless they escaped and took a few days to heal up before coming back to unleash holy hell on the wyatts

deadmenanddemons

Probably took a few days...

But Bray didn't know they got out

Which implies they probably didn't

Or only took like

One

texasrcttlesnake

my question is if bray is stupid enough to think they can be left unattended while he goes in front of the world and smugly touts that he has control of the brothers

and bray is very, very smart

deadmenanddemons

If he was an idiot they wouldn't be there

texasrcttlesnake

very rarely does he make a mistake and leaving them alone is a mistake

but it could also be a show of overconfidence too

deadmenanddemons

A very big mistake

Maybe he thinks he broke them.Finally did it.

texasrcttlesnake

he’s broken them down they’re probably starved and weak and tired

they’re not going anywhere

deadmenanddemons

Scared even if they won't admit it

He got his big ol' playthings

And he can do whatever he wants with them

texasrcttlesnake

they’re shackled and they don’t know where they are anyway

deadmenanddemons

There are others around the compound, someone will notice

They're in no shape to make an escape

texasrcttlesnake

or how they even got there, and the swamp is a fucking dangerous place to navigate alone

so sure, they can leave the house, door is standing wide open. just watch out for those gators! and the snakes, and the fucking feral cultists living in the woods

deadmenanddemons

and the sinkholes, poison plants, the noxious gas.... but you boys will be fine

go ahead

surely one of you will be strong enough to carry the other's corpse back

texasrcttlesnake

see, you’re not hostages

deadmenanddemons

we want you to be one of us

we could be a family

(taker is so much prettier up close)

texasrcttlesnake

that’s what you boys have always been missing, isn’t it? a family of your own

deadmenanddemons

we understand you. we know what it's like to be deemed "freaks" and "monsters". be one of us.

texasrcttlesnake

bray thinks it’s a kindness that he has shared his home with him and the others agree. they were lost before! everyone finds their place here

all you have to do is just hand over those powers and in exchange you’ll have protection for life

deadmenanddemons

all the lost lambs of the world show up. what's the face for, kane? ah, let down before. i understand. WE understand. but it can be different here. nobody will ever try to pull the two of you apart again

And that's when taker tells him he couldn't handle it

And even if he could hand over what he did

He'd sooner trust them to vince

(kane nods and strains against the binds. he wants Out.)

texasrcttlesnake

all i can picture is bray’s voice suddenly turning that harsh, scathing tone and telling him he has no idea what he can handle

deadmenanddemons

taker is honestly. on top of everything else, he's mad at himself for "falling for this"

But he would make eye contact

And

"I am the judge of souls. I know exactly what you can handle, boy."

if he acts even the slightest bit unnerved he knows it'll get back to kane

He can't make this any worse for little brother than it is... and of bray keeps up his weird obsession maybe he'll leave kane alone

texasrcttlesnake

bray’s anger at being spoken to that way just turning back into that very calm (even more terrifying) placating demeanor

evidently he hasn’t broken them enough

because no, taker does not know the kinds of things he is capable of

but he’s trying to be diplomatic

this is only as hard as the brothers want to make it. he doesn’t think he’s asking for a lot, and he’s giving so much more in return

deadmenanddemons

taker just scowls. kane just stares, a quiet growl in his chest (weapons and wild things, not people).

texasrcttlesnake

but, fine. if this is the way they want to be, he can show how disobedience is punished in his home. they’re guests, not yet family, they haven’t learned the rules yet

deadmenanddemons

taker's jaw tightens. kane swallows against the gritty, ashy feeling in his throat. /it's okay/, his brother's assurances say. /it'll be okay. you'll be home soon./ and kane catches the wording. doesn't like it. maybe doesn't believe it but has no choice but to cling onto the false hope he's given. they've made it through everything so far. lifetimes of hell and torment. they can do this.

texasrcttlesnake

inflicting physical harm on them is far too easy. he’s watched them. studied them both long enough to know that it will not get his message across. there are other ways to be persuasive, he thinks, for now.

have rowan and luke fetch one of the poor souls he’s caught lurking around the compound and stealing food from the cache when he thinks he isn’t being watched. everyone is always being watched. bray thinks himself generous, but people can only take advantage for so long. taker is the reaper of lost souls, but he is bound and powerless. he wants to watch the rage flicker in his eyes when he is incapable of doing his job. maybe they’ll take him seriously then.

someone else’s life and blood on his hands is a powerful motivator.

deadmenanddemons

honestly, they're confused. glance between each other and you do not need to be one of them to know what they're thinking - what is this? and then-- taker grits his teeth. not supposed to die yet. it didn't grant immortality, but damn was it a shame. deserved better. but it's not kane. kane is okay. he can tune out the haunting screams for now. kane comes first. kane is okay. he has seen death before, and instead spits at bray's feet. "only proving my point. you are far too /pathetic/  to carry the burden we do." ... he will carry them to their proper rest as soon as they can. whisper an apology once bray is gone, once kane manages to sleep. but he cannot give them the satisfaction.

texasrcttlesnake

it is the ultimate sacrifice. the ultimate punishment. fear and expressed regrets, pleading, crying — but this man’s destiny had already been sealed. the blade in bray’s hand is as cruel and unforgiving against the lamb’s throat as the hard floor is beneath his knees. he has to make an example, you see. if the limb is infected, you cut it off so as not to contaminate the rest of the body. theft is not forgiven. disobedience is not tolerated. it’s a kindness to make the cut quick, and wild eyes never stray from the deadman’s. pulse thumps rapid as his hold on the warm body is released and /it/ falls to the floor. faceless, nameless, the deed done. spit lands near his boots and it earns a peculiar look. “you don’t yet respect my work.” he tries not to sound offended. blade still clutched tight within his grasp, stained with crimson as it glints in lantern light,  bray steps over his victim to approach the brothers. there is a sickening smile as he stands before the undertaker, fingertips gathering blood from the side of the knife and brought to his mouth for a taste. caustic, acidic, as pathetic as the man staining up his floor. “you will come to appreciate it in time. i have given my family hope. i have given them freedom from this world that looks down their nose at them, just as it does you.” he leans forward, eye-level with the deadman now, the dull tip of the blade dragging down his chest. “i am offering you an opportunity. all i want in return is your soul.” he does not think he is asking for too much. red-stained lips press hard and cruel into the deadman’s forehead, a promise sealed with a kiss. “you can end this, undertaker!” and then he turns to leave, snapping fingers toward the worthless thief for his brothers to dispose of it. he still has work to do.

deadmenanddemons

(taker's literal first reaction to the kiss was nOT FOR YOU!!!!)

texasrcttlesnake

(he will get kisses from the right people when he’s back home safe where he belongs :\)

deadmenanddemons

(god he misses them :/)

texasrcttlesnake

(two fucking weeks.)

deadmenanddemons

(they must have been worried sick :<)

texasrcttlesnake

(i can count two times off the top where steve has been frantic.)

(the six months taker was dead, and the 14 days he goes missing, and the latter is so much worse.)

deadmenanddemons

(at least when he's dead, the boys know he can't be hurt anymore. can just worry about kane and keeping the house nice til big husband comes back. cause he will.)

texasrcttlesnake

the last image they have of taker is bray kissing him and being carried away by cultists. there is panic.

deadmenanddemons

he wants to go home :( at the very least, he wants kane to be able to go home

but now they're both gone

texasrcttlesnake

that isn’t supposed to happen. it just isn’t. it’s impossible. a terrible, horrible nightmare they both swear they’re going to wake up from. (for steve, he’s thrown back into every time paul ripped taker away from him.)

and they both feel completely, totally helpless. there’s nothing they can do. (where the fuck is snake bight, florida, and how fast can i get there, and no shawn, you cannot come.)

deadmenanddemons

it's sickening. that person had been so young... barely an adult. if they even qualified as one. bray's sick. he knew that already; had known it for a long time. but god damn, this is-- not far. it's not like he didn't expect it. it seemed right up bray's alley. but it was low. the poor kid. their soul was light enough to earn a kind rest, when it came. ... that made it worse. green eyes stare up at bray, icy and hateful as he adjusts his wrists against the biting chains. nose wrinkles and lip curls in a faint sneer when bray paints his own mouth crimson. 'hope'. taker snorted at that. this wasn't hope. this definitely wasn't freedom. he doesn't get the chance to respond to that, though. he bares his teeth and tenses, leaning back and away from the blade as much as the chair will allow, not very, not enough. the metal is cold and leaves a few red drops of the kid's life on his skin. "don't have one." he says. simple and honest and spiteful - his soul is no longer his to give. and then there's a kiss, and his face contorts in disgust, and his shoulders press hard against the chair as he pulls away. a vicious mockery of steve waking him up, shawn letting him know his hair was fully brushed. a violation, a trespass of affection that bray was not allowed. the contact to his brother, the clear disgust on the deadman's face, makes kane jolt. chains rattle and chair scrapes across the floor, temper flaring with a silent and furious DON'T TOUCH HIM that he wishes to god he could emphasize with his hands around wyatt's throat. the undertaker turns his head to scrub his shoulder against his face in an attempt to wipe the red stain away. "kiss my ass." muttered under his breath. a flicker of guilt breaks the surface as the body is dragged away, and he sighs, shifting to try and get a bit more comfortable. .... kane hunches his shoulders sullenly, and taker flicks his eyes upwards, as though he could see the red that his brother informed him was still there. he can't. kane stares at the floor. "it's not your fault." taker says softly. kane shrugs. taker just frowns and stares at nothing in particular, trying to think of a way out of this. this will not be the last place they see. bray wyatt cannot win.

... god

shawn must not take being told "you can't come" well

insist he can fight too (he's not weak, not vulnerable)

also thinking about how in another lifetime the brothers deal with this alone :(

texasrcttlesnake

and of course shawn can fight. better than anyone, stronger and faster and just as ruthless as the rest of them. it ain’t about that. it’s about keeping him safe. what steve doesn’t say is he doesn’t know if he’s coming back. what he doesn’t say is he doesn’t know what he’s walking into, what he’ll find, what he’ll do if the worst has happened— shawn has to stay.

bray breaks them down and then what :\ they have to go home alone and try to pick up the pieces without any help

deadmenanddemons

yup. drag themselves home and into the showers, try not to notice that neither of them wants to speak. get dressed and try to ignore the marks and injuries until morning. fall asleep in separate beds and wake up holding on to each other in a heap

Worry about food and medicine come morning

texasrcttlesnake

boys :(((

deadmenanddemons

It's alright, they've done it before

texasrcttlesnake

but at least they make it out alive. battered and torn but they have each other.

deadmenanddemons

it's all they can ask for

clean each other's cuts and scrapes when they can't reach, have breakfast, don't talk about what happened, and then back to running the home. Got stuff to catch up on

texasrcttlesnake

add it to the laundry list of traumas the world inflicts upon them because it cannot let them forget who they are, and keep going

deadmenanddemons

sort of becomes normal after a while. if taker becomes more touch shy nobody notices. if kane is rubbing at his wrists more nobody cares. they just rebuild each other from smaller and smaller fragments and hope the inevitably lost pieces weren't important

....................... kane is very worried about mewchine

shawn and steve can make sure she's fed in a happier time but without them--

texasrcttlesnake

;; mewchine is smart and resilient she’ll figure something out

deadmenanddemons

listen even i'm not cruel enough to say kane's therapy cat starved to death while he and his brother were being tortured

maybe she tears into her food bag, or maybe jon swings by for a visit and she cries to him and he goes 'huh, that's weird' and fills her dishes

either way she's skinnier, matted, and a bit dirty when they finally get back, very upset that kane was gone for so long, and if he breaks down and cries when he hugs her taker won't tell anyone

texasrcttlesnake

and she’s still a hefty lil thing when he comes back

... poor mewchine having a whole come apart because kane has always been around, or always comes back after a couple of days away and she doesn’t understand ;;

deadmenanddemons

they were both worried about each other ;; and honestly between the two of them, they've both lost weight, both need to get cleaned up. and he picks her up and she headbutts him and purrs and he sobs into her fur :/ and taker will just give him a moment while he puts some coffee on because got he needs to wash the taste of the swamp out of his mouth (the taste of--)

[northeasternwind]

my sister held good omens hostage until i watched spiderverse so here is the liveblog

Hi peter!!!

Is tehre. Is there only one spiderman

I already feel a great kinship with this kid

In a minute LMAO

GIGGLES aw baby

SKDJFHSKJDHFJ SAME MILES, SAME

What the mcheck do they expect spiderman to do

AWWWW POOR BABY LMAO

I feel that miles i denied the chance to skip a grade because i wanted to stay with my friends

He’s just grumpy dude

DAD PLEASE

FFS DAD OMFG

Hey don’t make fun of him he just loves his dad

Ilu miles pls

Is this how straight people start relationships

LMAO MILES YOUR TEACHER IS TOO SMART

I wanna be spiderman too tbh

LKMNSKAJHSDOU silly faces im yell

Oh god this uncle is gonna die isn’t he

AWWWWW BABY WHAT A GOOD UNCLE

IS SPIDER

AW MILES IS GOOD

KSJDFHSKJDFH HE HEPL

Awww dad and uncle…..

Ur spiderman now

LMAO MILES IS SO MUCH BRAVER THAN ME

JUST FUCKIN SLAPPED THAT SPIDER

Same miles i’d hate having a roommate

U HIT PUBERTIES

OMFG HE IS A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER NOW

Is this how straight people flirt

Is this a straight people thing

What the fuck

OH NO HE’S JUST SPIDERMAN NOW

EVERYONE SAW ME DUDE

I’m so sorry. You’re a main character miles

LMFAO SO THAT’S WHERE THE PLAY DUMB MEME IS FROM

THERE HE GO

BIRDS!!!!

BIRDS

Aw your new hair looks kinda nice! XD

UNCLE I’M SPIDERMAN YOU’RE IN DANGER

DAD I’M SPIDERMAN

Miles,,,,,, u will die

OH!!! SPIDEY SENSE!!!

PROTEC SMOL!!!!

MILES GO!!! LIKE YOU’RE TRYING BUT TRY HARDER!!!

Oh

SPIDEY!!!! HE SAVE!!!! YEYE

FOR FUCKS SAKE PETER LMFAOFHSDKJFHJ

Awwww baby,,,, :(

See u in a bit skdjfhksjdfhkj

Ashley says it gets complicated soon i’m gonna die

NOW HE IS FLAT

LMFAO MILES

JESUS SAME MILES, FUCKIN SAME i too would record

Who the fuck is this

Its time

O

Uh dad pls help

DAD

OHHHH the girl from earlier nearly said gwen because that’s spiderman’s girlfriend. I c. i unerstan

Goblin is fuckin ded

PETER!!!!

Cough of death

Miles: i diD NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS

He is only a babie peter he cannot swing

Oh peter is so smart!!! 

...o he ded

nO!!! DONUT KILL THE GUY!!!!

He run

There he go

MILES OH MY GOD YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE A CONDUCTOR A HEART ATTACK

LOMFAO OSADJLKS BANKSY

Oh baby!!! Baby D:

He watched a man DIE

HI DAD!!!! I HAVE SEEN THE FACE OF DEATH AND IT LOOKED LIKE SPIDERMAN

Baby you are so smol

STAN LEE OH MY GOD

We are all spiderman

Aw baby,,,,

U gonna die LMFAOSFHDKSFJGJSDFHSKDJF HE GAVE UP

SAME TBH

I HATE HEIGHTS

Oh he’s tryin again!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hey u didn’t die!!!! Congrat!!!

Oh u broke the thing

Its okay there’s always a way

Come on there’s no fuckin way there’s no one else here

Who what the fuck

Ohhhh

kKJSDFHKSDJFHKSJDFHKJ 

THE PIZZA IS MULTIPLYING

LMAO HE GRABBED THE MASK SAME BUDDY

OOF

I was about to say he’s too strong but he’s spiderman

ADIO

THERE HE GO LMAO i say lmao too much what’s a new acronym i can use

LSKDFJHSKDJFHSKJDHFKJSDF A CHILD DRESSED AS SPIDERMAN

Is this what nyc is like ashley

Miles is smert

Babie :c he sad

YAYA well i’d be hungry too

GIGGLES ITS THE MEME

HE STRONK

Clicky keyboard

LMAO

Miles babie

What the fuyck

JSHDKJ the glitching

KJHSDDKFJSH THE EXERCISE BALL

MORE SPIDERPEOPLE!!!!

NOOO OMFG HER HAIR

Oh its the aunt,,,,,

What a cool secret hideout!!!

MORE SPIDERPEOPLE@!!!! YES

Oh my god

HE IS A BABY

He is a baby

Uncle is fucking dead

Oh it’s worse than that he’s a villain

Yep that’s him

Your uncle is cool tho omg

Babies,,,,,,,

Sorry i’m super 

OH NO HE DED

I’M SO DEISTRACT

He didnt wanna kill he nephew boy,,,,,

Wow this dude really was in danger and not in the way i expected

OH,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BABY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NOOOOO,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

MY SON

Aw boi he about to find his bro

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh babie D:

Hey!!!! Join the dead uncle club

They are a beeg spider

He is only a babie

Make a muffled noise me dude

Dad i am tied to a chair and gagged pkease break the door down

DAD I AM TIED TO A FUCKING CHAIR

PLEASE DISRESPECT MY BOUNDARIES AND UNTIE ME DAD

O!!! He is magic now!!!

U cannot spraypaint fabric this is false advertising

This is a hell of a backstory

There he go :D

Are u fuckin with me omg

KJSGFHDKJGFHDKJFHGKDJFHGKJ IM CRYIN THE WAITERS

Ffs peter

Peter for FUCKS SAKE YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME

Oh my god is this the get this bread meme. Is that what this is

More banksy

Well

I fuckin love noir spiderman oh my god

Peni is A CHILD

Its time,,,, for piggy

LKJSDLFKJSD PPPBBBBTT

HONK

THERE HE GO

SKJDFHSKDJFH he is good learn

Noooo the robot is gone,,,,,

She is too smol

There she go :c

ITLL FIT IN YOUR POCKET KSDJFHKSDJFHKJSDHF

Its still not a good joke but omg

Yeah something bad’s gonna happen before this dude goes

We’re all spiderman

What the fuck this is excellent writing

No guns

Ffs dude you really put yourself through this again

Bimch backup won’t help

Pls do not beat him up he is small

What the fuck who wrote this???? This writing is too good

LMFAOFHSKDJFHKSJDHFJ

Yaya!!!! It is normal

He has seen the glory of the multiverse

KJSDHFLKSJDHF THE ANVIL

Ok well back where we started

Pls do not arrest spiderman he is just a child

I’m sorry dad i was tied to a chair last time

Dad pls u are so bad at this

Pls i am smol gimme a hug

I can’t vbelieve his dad is commissioner gordon

Awwwwwww

Oh can we talk !!! YAY!!!! THE END

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[suzunofuu]

21.

idk why they are making endou look all epic i mean?? we know he’s a giant dork so??? the point??? anyways i loved the epicness so

good boy. very good boy. sunshine boy.

there should be another episode for michinari or at least develop his conflict how it’s supposed to be done during the next match (2 - 3 episodes pls) against the panda team (whatever its name might be), or else... *rolls eyes*

this boy gives me toramaru vibes btw.

btw who the fuck is drawing these episodes ffs they don’t look........normal

i think i’m going to rewatch the original ie and fuck it all bc i miss the narrative and the characters and development and yeah. i don’t miss the artstyle that much tho haha

bb

wtf happened with these two lmao. me veo venir que the coach will come back and say “hey well this was just so michinari actually acted as captain lel y wasn’t abandoning you”

he creeps me the fuck off

CUTE RED PANDA

lol just like the “toramaru” kid

nishikage didn’t know about nosaka :/ i’m actually gonna ship them lmao

quítate el pelo de la cara joder cómo me molesta

and what even was this ffs ugh so fuckin unnecessary

????????????????????????????????????????

*stares into the camera*

anyways, other screencaps

btw no fucking way does anyone in town know the teenage football team from school like ??????????????????? they don’t even know the actual representatives of the official league HOW THE FUCK are they going to know these teenagers???????????????????? *rolls eyes* unrealistic

i thought seeing endou would excite me more but after seeing eisei i just don’t really care much. i do hope to see a good match against endou and that it is realistic and coherent with everyone’s abilities and that they develop michinari as captain.

edit: lol okay nishikage could have known if he had fucking asked, the syntoms were there and he didn’t do anything lol i’m not really sorry he “didn’t know”. my friends have done this too and honestly????? be as angry as u fucking want but now that u have fucking opened your eyes late enough do something to help him and u better not throw this at his face thank you.

[severalbakuras]

s2e17 and 18!

I҉̡̡͓̦̘̜̖̠͜ ̧̢͍̪͎̖̩̰͉̭̞̱͕̬̟̟̲̰͚̺͘T̷̸̛̞͈̙͇͇̠̼̀̕ ͏̞͕̩̣̩̳̺̼̘̭͉̞̀B̷̧̨̦̬͉̜͟͞ ̶̢̟̱̮̹̩̯̳͙͔̞͎̖̙͚̭͖̣̤͟͝É̡̙̗͖̫͇̤ ̤͓͔̮̺̺̩͖͙͘G͏̧̯͇̖̜̳̙̻̥̝̱̳̹̮͈̼̟̠͞ ̵̷̱͕͕̹̠̻̲̞̱͓̜̗̳͉̘͍͙̯I̷̶͜҉̪̼͚̫͖̬̖̦̬̤͕̥̬ ̡҉̶̖̼̫̹͕̗̣̖̙̯̻N̢̼̗̫͕̖̯̯̜̲͚͕̞̗͟͞ ͜͡҉̶̨̥̙̙͚̮̹͕̼͉͈ͅͅS̶̢͉͖͕̭̥͓̺͇͍͎ ̴̶̸̮͍̺̯̻̦̞̭̘̀͜

dipper and mabel vs the future: NIGHTMARE CHIN

they’re gonna be teeeeens

it’s not that great mabel trust

stan that’s not the only thing you’re going through…

even the mini-shack loses its s…

he’s not your personal gremlin ford. also hey what happened to staying away from the kids like you promised?

given your usual fixit standards just get some duct tape on there.

ford chill jesus just because you act like you hate stan doesn’t mean dipper hates mabel jeez.

oh mabel…

aw he wants to talk to her too…

aliens?

aliens.

familiarity breeds complacency ford.

it’s interesting that everywhere besides earth/’s galaxy has no issues countering bill’s nonsense as far as i can tell. i guess he picked earth/’s galaxy because it was the only place he could handle B)

aww mabel… this show happened fast too.

WHAT DID I SAY FORD

ford no.

ford no don’t turn him into you.

HIS PARENTS DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU FORD.

YOU DON’T KNOW MABEL EITHER FORD.

SHUT THE FUCK UP WHAT DID I ALREADY SAY ABOUT PROJECTING YOUR STAN ISSUES.

that’s STUPID advice ford!!!

NO PRESSURE FORD.

NO HIS HAT

check the rift soon dude that was a hard impact.

this whole time stan and ford haven’t even tried to reconcile this is going to end badly.

‘hold you back’ shut UP ford.

he almost died today mabel, several times.

mabel i get why it sucks for you but he’s not wrong. sad and bad things happen out of everyone’s control all the time and there’s nothing anyone can do about it but deal. 

blendin?

why are you here blendin?

do not trust.

ford ffs.

THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR FAMILY THINGS FORD SHE’D KNOW WHY THAT WAS IMPORTANT IF YOU J

AAAA BILL

how’d he snatch blendin up? what could he have possibly offered?????????

yeesh those are some bleak credits with all that screaming. v. second impact.

weirdmageddon, part 1:

here we go here we go here we FUCKIN’ GO

HE’S A REAL LIFE FLESH BOY NOW

he has organs that means he has blood and that means he can bleed.

and we all know what it means if something can bleed.

mabel no.

3-tier pyramid is a downgrade.

black with a neon rainbow border as a 2d triangle is an upgrade though. use that look more often bill.

i like his friends, i’m glad he has some.

GO MAYOR

DADFICA SUCKS ONCE MORE

WOAHHHHHH

NO GIVE HIM HIS DEPUTY BACK

oh this music’s good

but if chaos is the new order doesn’t that make chaos order and order chaos and thus the most chaotic thing to do would surely be not do what everyone expects you to do and leave with no harm done?

OOOOOH THE INTRO

BLOOD RIVER

gotta pause for some of those photos goddam

‘draw me like one of your french triangles~’

mahou shoujo bill cipher magica.

TEETH

i’d be down to watch the adventures of mill, dill, still, will and sill. (that sweater and the hat is legit cute won’t lie. damn u bill)

GNOMEPEDE

not quite dipper but your danger instincts are on point.

any plans to tell stan about this?

that’s a cool-ass tsunami.

GO SOOS

HE’S FREE

gideon’s lol-edgy at best.

YOU WANTED THIS???

HIS HAT’S FLESHY TOO

has he lost some of his all-knowingy ness or is he just basking in himself?

WOAH

bill’s got the terror blink-dash down.

having a shield over his eye means he doesn’t want you hitting his eye. that’s a weakness.

aaand there they go. didn’t think they’d survive the series.

that whale’s just chilling.

oh my god they’re nightmare nerds.

damn she’s dedicated.

woah dipper you’ve done pretty well surviving alone so far.

hey it’s attack on titan if the titans could talk.

TRAP

oh phew.

I SUPPORT BODACIOUS T

wendy owns.

awful kind of bill to label her prison.

MONSTER EDM PARTY

wait possessing? so he never made a deal and just took blendin by force? when did that escalation of his abilities happen?

ugggh time baby.

honestly i’m not even mad, time baby’s lame.

EYE MOUTH

you should be dude.

gideon was here.

NOO BODACIOUS T

it’s gone all mad max

of course gideon would turn.

fuckin’ nasty gideon.

GO WENDY BREAK THOSE BONES

DROPKICK THAT CHILD WENDY DO IT

LET HIM PHILOSOPHIZE BRAT

BIRDIPPER!!

ANIME!!

MEAT!!

LIVE-ACTION!!

oh dear.

SOOS!!!!!!!

SOOS, LEGEND OF THE WASTES, TELL ME OF THESE FOLKSONGS.

trust the prisoners gideon!!!

fucking finally gets a clue. we did miss soos throwing down though.

honestly i feel kinda bad for this guy, even if he eats people.

[fishfarmfrankie]

Where the mha boys leave their hickeys/lovebites on you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: kinda spicy, implied nsfw, also swearing I swear a lot.

Boys: Todoroki, Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Denki, Sero, Shinso

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Todoroki Shoto

-cutie lil baby he’s down for anything if its with you ❤

- But Shoto is an inexperienced boy and has no idea what he should be doing, so you’d have to be the one to prompt him into giving you hickeys.

-He gives them to you on your chest like the cutie he is. 

-He choses that area because he understands the importance of hiding hickeys and how they can be embarrassing. 

-Even though he doesn’t really understand why.

-That’s why if people did see them on you, he wouldn’t even flinch.

-He would not be embarrassed at all and just pin all the blame on you, causing you to be embarrassed instead.

-”Y/n are those hickeys on your chest?”

Todoroki- “Y/n asked for it, so I gave them some.” 

-He would just fuckin shrug as he says that, continuing to slurp on his soba.

-CEO of not giving a shit

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Midoriya Izuku

-baby

-very shy uwu

-doesn’t know how to do it at first so his dumbass would probably like do his first one on your fuckin wrist lmao

-people would think you did it yourself, when you say it was izuku fuckin no one believes you

“Y/n what happened to you wrist? It looks bruised.”

Y/n- “Oh it’s actually a hickey Izuku gave me.”

everyone in a two metre vicinity- “😐”

Y/n- “I’m serious!”

“Yeah right. It’s on your wrist you obviously gave it to yourself. deku is too innocent to do something like that, right deku?”

Izuku- *Dying of embarrassment*

Y/n- “GUYS I’M NOT LYING FFS HE’S A KINKY LIL SHIT I SWEAR TO GO-”

-after he gets more comfortable he’ll probably move to doing them on your collar bone :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou Katsuki

-whore. 

-He just leaves them every-fuckin-where

-mans doesn’t leave hickeys highkey just fuckin takes a bite out of you. 

-he feral but wbk💃✨

-you better be a masochist because he is not gentle in the slightest

-he mostly leaves bites on either the back of your neck, shoulders or all over your legs.

-Not even on your upper legs like he will just fuckin bite your calves while doing ✨it✨ like bruh he ain’t subtle at all.

-people are too scared to bring up the marks in front of him because he will just go off

-”H-hey Y/n, what’s that on your-”

Bakubabe- “WEAK ASS FUCKSTICK EXTRA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT?!? I’LL BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU IF YOU DARE STARE IN THEIR DIRECTION YOU GOT THAT?!”

-”s-sorry T-T”

-and trust me that shit stays there for weeks. Yet no one will say a single fuckin word ever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirishima Ejirou

-sweetie pie, but similarly to Katsuki, Kiri bites.

- He is really self conscious of his teeth and usually tries to avoid even grazing you with them but he’s a passionate lover so once he’s riled up he’s absent mindedly biting you all over.

-mostly your inner thighs. Kirishima is a thigh guy.

-no one really notices the marks unless you wear short shorts, even then they’re pretty well hidden.

-If someone did point it out you bet Kirishima would feel embarrassed as hell.

-Not really for himself but more for you. Like he’s very much a gentleman and is the type to feel guilty for making people sexualise you or even think about you in a sexual context, knowing that it would be partly his fault.

-He’d probably just tell whoever it was that pointed it out to just drop it.

“U-uhm, Y/n, are t-those teeth marks on your inner thigh?”

Y/n- “Uhhhhhhhhhyeah?”

“W-wha-”

Kirishima- “Hey man don’t worry about. Let’s just get some lunch I was thinking-”

-Thanks for the save bb kiri is as dependable as ever 😌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Denki Kaminari

-he’s a cumslut whore. I do not take criticisms on that.

-Denki is sexual down to his core. But his favourite thing would be going down on you.

-mostly a tits/nips kinda guy, but he loves ass a whole lot too.

-Two words, Ass bites.

-Fuckin bite marks, hickeys, general bruises all on your fuckin ass. Literally on your  a s s.

-I apologize to anyone who wears booty shorts a lot bc sweetie you’re going to get an ear-full from everyone when they see how ravaged your ass is.

-But Denki being the asswipe that he is will actively go out of his way to show everyone and anyone what he did to your ass.

- He’s like “Yeah, we’re freaky like that. Do that on the daily. Bet you virgins could never evenAHHH-”

-That’s when you knock him out.

-I know it doesn’t seem like it but I like Denki I swear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sero Hanta

-Also a gentleman (to an extent😜)

-He’s a romantic, is always spending time with you and is so grateful you’re in his life :,)

-Therefore- Stomach hickeys.

-Not really on your stomach but like near and around your V-line/hips. In that general area.

-Mans just wants you to feel good in your body, praise kink 110%. 

-It is very rare people will find these hickeys unless you’re wearing a super lowcut pair of pants.

- They’ll just stop and be like 😳

Y/n- “ What?”

Sero- “Uhm, baby our love sessions are showing.”

Y/n- “😶our wha- 👀. 😳😳😳😳😳😳”

-awkward silence but you two kinda just laugh it off while everyone else is hella surprised the two of you would partake in such- acts of affection.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinso Hitoshi

-freaky.

-anyway. Neck kisses. 

-Except they’re not kisses they’re bites

-He likes to be in control and the easiest and most accessible way for him to get you heated is on the ticklish spot of your neck.

-Another thing about him is he kind of likes showing off those neckbites, like he is no where near like Denki where he actively brags but he is not shy to force you to tie you hair up so everyone can see them. 

-or he’ll just randomly trace his fingers along the indents of his teeth marks at random points in time.

-He takes pride in that shit bro that’s a huge ego boost.

-someone points that out? Shinso holds a shit eating grin.

“Um, Y/n, It looks like there’s something on your neck.”

-Shinso won’t even say anything he’ll just stare, grinning at you expectantly. Waiting to hear what excuse you’ll come up with now.

“Oh yeah, that’s just- training. We were doing training and-”

Shinso- “Oh? So I’m just training to you now?”

-Yeah Shinso would love making you as embarrassed as he possibly could.

-That purple minion lookin’ ass fuckface

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[vaalinors]

you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)

Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother

Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock 

Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house 

Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE

Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth

Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now

Paninya: let him relieve his thirst

Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT

Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????

Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER

Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I

Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM

Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie

Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK

Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta

Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????

Paninya: called????? pm?????????????

Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us

Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent

Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass

Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE

Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing

Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass

Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing

Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei

Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS

Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you

Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,

Lan Fan: edward

Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house

Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken

Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion

Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you

Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again

Paninya: Rekt™

Ling Yao: mic drop

Edward Elric: psh whatever

Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me

Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN

Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E  A T  M E

Paninya: o look shes typing

Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u

Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date

Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS

Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever

Edward Elric: talk to winry

Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know

Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR

Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???

Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?

Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot

Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up

Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down

Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling

Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks

Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister

Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova

Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT

Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack

Ling Yao: case in point

Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT

Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club

Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members

Edward Elric: BULLSHIT

Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang

Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??

Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: basic bitch

Paninya: u kno it

Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast

Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them

Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu

Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling

Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND

Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to

Alphonse Elric: Yknow

Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground

Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR

Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend

Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay

Lan Fan: why not

Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out

Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win

Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement

Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE

Winry Rockbell: ok then

Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat

Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS

Maria Ross: and a few seniors

Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in

Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in

Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]

Ling Yao: wot

Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging

Winry Rockbell: pan ffs

Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)

Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE

Lan Fan to Panko: what is it

Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear

Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room

Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet

Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been

Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it

Panko: dear

Panko: u used an emoji

Panko: u never use emojis

Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me

Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i

Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart

Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is

Panko: well ur not wrong

Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois

Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too

Panko: ppl in general usually r

Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel

Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U

Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body

Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing

Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL

Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE

Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN

Paninya: CONDOMS

Winry Rockbell: oh god

Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL

Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS

Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE

Lan Fan: PANINYA

Mei Chang: uh

Paninya: oh fuck

Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now

Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up

Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD

Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO

Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON

Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR

Ling Yao: thats hot

Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ

Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know

Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes

Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive

Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh

Paninya: rip in peace

Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right

Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him

Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now

Ling Yao: why

Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows

Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers

Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT

Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat

Ling Yao: thats cold

Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat

Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last

Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan

Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face

Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow

Alphonse Elric: Wow

Roy Mustang: :O

Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night

Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise

Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date

Roy Mustang: at least he has one

Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??

Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????

Edward Elric has left the chat

Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan

Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN

Good Shit ✔💯: what

Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw

Good Shit ✔💯: no

Ling Yao: oh yes

Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in

Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem

Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit

Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep

Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck

Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all

Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me

Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find

Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room

Ling Yao: pls u loved it

Good Shit ✔💯: debatable

Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget

Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)

Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT

Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch

Lan Fan: well wade was totally off

Ling Yao: atta girl

Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business

Edward Elric: what the utter fuck

Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed

Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE

Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head

Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d  u

Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time

Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO

Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct

Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing

Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass

Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying

Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS

Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small

Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,

Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids

Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get

Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it

Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????

Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL

Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed

Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me

Mulan but Better: a bit

Winry Rockbell: yeah

Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd

Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd

Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING

Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW

Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night

Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am

Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares

Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh

Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk

Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there

Paninya sent a video in the chat

Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later

Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud

Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that

Riza Hawkeye: Is

Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world

Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is

Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart

Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was

Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg

Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he

Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking

Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone

Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes

Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE

Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening

Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS

Paninya: I WILL K I S S U

Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning

Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone

Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp

Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck

Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT

Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video

Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?

Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache

Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)

Lan Fan has left the chat

Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck

Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE

Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey

Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn

Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or

Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well

Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change

Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or

Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now

Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??

Lan Fan: thanks

Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real

Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms

Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms

Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home

Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was

Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP

Paninya: time is an illusion

Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death

Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA

Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late

Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me

Paninya: she has a test today

Paninya: also

Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat

Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN

Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya

Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment

Alphonse Elric: Lan fan

Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u

Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it

Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD

Paninya: what was that????? u said???????

Paninya: about karma?????????

Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY

Lan Fan: is that not everyday

Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS

Lan Fan: 3/10 edward

Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me

Literal Monkey™: that depends

Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan

Literal Monkey™: did i say something

Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me

Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong

Lan Fan: i know

Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just

Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately

Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time

Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia

Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick

Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not

Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing

Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there

Lan Fan: you w h a t

Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight

Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing

Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again

Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii

Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now

Frying Pan: not a chance boiii

Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden

Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do

Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot

Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend

Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure

Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u

Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything

Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose

Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year

Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time

Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u

Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need

Winry Rockbell: i

Winry Rockbell: thanks ed

Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win

Winry Rockbell: :)

Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet

Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president

Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right

Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts

Lan Fan: paninya what the hell

Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP

Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police

Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are

Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks

Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting

Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for

Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor

Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention

Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive

Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK

Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention

Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE

Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac

Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen

Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS

Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something

Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT

Lan Fan: its yaint

Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck

Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys

Lan Fan: so perfect for edward

Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die

Lan Fan: then perish

Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise

Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????

Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)

Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them

Winry Rockbell: ………..

Alphonse Elric: ……………………

Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex

Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP

Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK

Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed

Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN

Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP

Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan

Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD

Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????

Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU

Winry Rockbell: rude

Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave

Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare

Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10

Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W

Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA

Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that

Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right

Roy Mustang: yes edward

Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you

Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned

Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????

Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind

Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant

Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this

Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition

Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET

Winry Rockbell: obliviousest

Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last

Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES

Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D

Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE

Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again

Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad

Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES

Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD

Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS

Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE

Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE

Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻

Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened

Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat

Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan

Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right

Paninya: first time im hearin it

Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt

Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u

Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’

Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE

Paninya: wot in tarnation

Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation

Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE

Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????

Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON

Lan Fan: panno

Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up

Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny

Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table

Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent

Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U

Paninya: “was”

Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee

Ling Yao: and wen it nite

Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some

Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy

Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite

Ling Yao: vINdICatION

Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building

Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class

Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line

Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat

Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u

Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator

Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS

Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O  R U N OUT OF THE QUAD

Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes

Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now

My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet

Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now

Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official

Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet

Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on

Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it

Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it

Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN

Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose

Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have

Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG

Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that

Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS

Mei Chang: long story short

Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics

Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off

Edward Elric: well fuck

Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows

Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset

Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’

Paninya: well now i feel like shit

Mei Chang: welcome to my world

Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested

Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts

Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT

Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L

Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died

Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book

Paninya: what book is it

Lan Fan: howard’s end

Alphonse Elric: Forsters great

Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent

Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio

Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT

Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup

Ling Yao: is that a crime now

Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling

Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling

Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now

Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window

Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked

Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y

Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college

Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat

Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us

Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao

Ling Yao: :O

Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™

Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿

Lan Fan: …..

Alphonse Elric: Ah

Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat

Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)

Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF

Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat

Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat

Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages

Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk

Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward

Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up

Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over

Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat

Lan Fan: do they all know

Panko: uh kno what

Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya

Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again

Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves

Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af

Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it

Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend

Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again

Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good

Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan

Panko: no matter how much u wont see it

Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)

Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone

Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang

Roy Mustang: i didnt??

Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE

Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA

Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet

Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw

Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover

Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant

Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up

Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”

Winry Rockbell: so close

Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now

Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him

Mei Chang: unfortunately

Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk

Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again

Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother

Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it

Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose

Edward Elric: RUDE

Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing

Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS

Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned

Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes

Mei Chang: or a ladder

Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC

Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5

Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here

Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour

Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time

Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas

Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead

Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT

Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei

Ling Yao: meiiiiiii

Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what

Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down

Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into

Sister Mine: why do you ask

Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe

Sister Mine: when her hair is down??

Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward

Sister Mine: you may be right

Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?

Sister Mine: that depends

Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell

Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic

Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess

Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it

Lan Fan: and i really am just that

Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you

Literal Monkey™: thanks

Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me

Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it

Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan

Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand

Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was

Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that

Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too

Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me

Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little

Literal Monkey™: come to your window

Lan Fan: what why

Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person

Literal Monkey™: convention and all that

Lan Fan: well alright then

Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD

Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now

Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM

FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE