Sano Groupchat (and closely affiliated)
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, the word necrophilia is mentioned twice, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of drugging, also a "description" of a penis (it's not what it sounds like i swear)
Side note: i've realized that my warnings without context, make me look like a crazy person so please bear with me 😔🙏
Desc: Mikey gets kidnapped by a crazy fan and so forth (i'm so bad at these, might remove them 💀)
Shinichiro: Mikey, we're glad to have you back. i'll release a statement saying you need to recover from the traumatizing situation you've just been through. just rest up okay?
Emma: yeah, we're here if you need anything :((
Izana: you're alive, so
Emma: Izana ☹️
Izana: ...
Izana: we are here to support you through difficult times
Izana: as your "siblings" 🙂
Shinichiro: what are the quotation marks for bud 😞✊?
Izana: my hand slipped
Shinichiro: oh okay then!
Mikey: guys
Shinichiro: Draken, how's the arrest going?
Draken: the girls trial is in a few weeks from now and she can't afford bail so she's locked up
Mikey: guys it's not that deep
Mikey: like, it's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be
Izana: see? he's fine
Emma: YOU WERE MISSING FOR 2 WEEKS
Emma: YOU WERE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED BY A CRAZY FAN. IT'S A BIG DEAL
Mikey: but they didn't hurt me?? they made all my favourite snacks and food and tucked me into bed every night. which maybe was a little weird but i still liked it. i had a very good time actually. so why are we arresting her? she's chill fr
Draken: that's all she did?
Baji: how do you know she didn't drug you in your sleep and do things to you 🤨
Mikey: bro?
Shinichiro: Keisuke, that's a very sensitive topic for some people, so let's not say it so casually okay?
Baji: what?
Baji: is it a long shot to say Mikey was touched or something?
Baji: i mean, what other motives did she have
Baji: and you guys saw her tweets right? she's obsessed with you
Baji: wasn't she the one who calculated the circumference, length, girth and colour of your penis??
Draken: no that's another one
Baji: nvm
Baji: that was Haruchiyo
Haruchiyo: fuck off
Mikey: Baji we literally go to onsens together with Haruchiyo. you've all seen my penis 😐
Baji: hard and soft are two different things
Baji: you pervert
Haruchiyo: it wasn't me, what the fuck?
Haruchiyo: i'm too famous to be risking my reputation like that
Haruchiyo: i'd need a burner account no one could access, which i don't have
Haruchiyo: so no Baji, i don't have a Mikey fanpage
Haruchiyo: that would be crazy and weird and bordeline insane
Baji: i didn't say any of that?
Baji: and you are all 3 of those things🤨
Mikey: well whatever cause everyone was wrong. it's small
Mikey: you know what it's not even small. it's average for my size, actually
Mikey: i mean i'm 5'3 yk. what did people expect
Mikey: like, it would look weird if i had a big one
Mikey: it would be disproportionate to have a big one
Mikey: i see people saying "i know it's big😍" or stuff like "i wanna gag on it"
Emma: gross
Emma: why are you telling us this 😟
Mikey: which i find really flattering
Draken: flattering isn't the word i'd use
Mikey: yeah thats cause you're a fucking prude, Ken-chin
Draken: it's cause i have a wife, jackass
Emma: 😊❤
Mikey: but seriously it wouldn't make sense for me to have a big penis
Baji: excuses excuses 🙄
Mikey: my penis is fine
Baji: they gave you dick dysmorphia
Mikey: whatever it's not like i'll use it anyway
Baji: bottom?
Mikey: i just don't like sex 😐
Izana: are we here to listen to Mikey talk about his small dick or what
Shinichiro: yeah maybe we should... not
Mikey: well, yours is skinny so whatever
Shinichiro: no it's not 😕
Shinichiro: i've had many people compliment me for my size, actually
Izana: "many"
Izana: "people"
Mikey: we know it's not girls, just say you fuck men (Wakasa) dude
Baji: no girl wants you bro
Baji: (isn't it Takeomi?)
Mikey: (Takeomi is violently homophobic)
Baji: (oh yeah)
Haruchiyo: what are you guys doing
Mikey: (whispering)
Haruchiyo: you guys are texting
Haruchiyo: we can all see this
Haruchiyo: are you fucking dumb
Haruchiyo: not you, Mikey
Mikey: thanks Haru 😋
Baji: he was doing it too???
Baji: i get why Takeomi was homophobic 😒
Baji: (when are you going to address his crush on you, Mikey)
Mikey: (it's not a crush, you ever heard of bff's, Keisuke🙄?)
Baji: (that's like saying me and Kazutora are bff's)
Mikey: (you are?)
Baji: (i'm in love with him)
Mikey: (oh yeah)
Mikey: (but Haru isn't in love with me)
Baji: (he probably creams his pants when you use that nickname)
Haruchiyo: i can see this
Haruchiyo: you aren't "whispering"
Haruchiyo: IT'S A FUCKING GROUPCHAT
Draken: does this matter?
Draken: we were talking about the fact that Mikey was kidnapped
Draken: Baji is right, something really bad could have happened if they have you longer
Draken: along with the statement, we need to talk to your fans man
Draken: this is a line crossed
Baji: no shit
Baji: also, why didn't you, i don't know, fight back and escape or something?
Mikey: i didn't want to hit a girl 😔
Mikey: like i said, i enjoyed my time there
Mikey: knew you guys would find me eventually so it was like, a side quest
Draken: of course you'd call a kidnapping a side quest
Emma: how'd she even kidnap you?
Mikey: she saw me at a convenience store and they'd run out of my favourite sweeties
Mikey: and i was whining about it to the cashier, so i guess she overheard
Mikey: and she said she had some in her car
Mikey: so i go there with her
Mikey: then she asked for an autograph
Mikey: then i'm pretty sure she drugged me with chloroform or something cause i was out
Emma: chloroform isn't like the movies. it takes a while to knock someone out, so that's not really likely unless you stood there and took it
Mikey: ...
Mikey: ok fine, do you want me to say i fell asleep in her car? huh?
Mikey: cause that's what i did
Izana: it's like you *want* to die or something
Izana: nvm
Baji: are you stupid or something
Draken: Mikey
Draken: you are 25 years old
Draken: and you're telling me
Draken: that you fell for the "hi kid, want some candy?" trick
Draken: are you fucking serious
Shinichiro: Mikey...
Shinichiro: you could have gone to another store 🙁
Shinichiro: i almost lost you
Shinichiro: because of jellybeans? really?
Mikey: they're my favourite sweet okay ☹️
Mikey: and i was lazy and tired
Mikey: hence, falling asleep
Baji: he has to have necrophilia or something
Shinichiro: i don't think that's the word buddy
zana: "necrophilia"
Izana: didn't you graduate?
Baji: working on it 💪
Izana: ah alright
Izana: what's your IQ?
Baji: below average
Mikey: Baji, don't tell people that ☠️
Izana: ...
Izana: wow he actually answered me
Emma: *sigh*
Draken: what's the point of tying out your physical actions
Emma: shut up a little babe
Draken: ok
Emma: what Baji meant, was necormancy
Draken: that's incorrect, babe
Emma: omg can we just wrap this up
Izana: both of you are wrong 💀
Izana: what is wrong with you people
Izana: necrophilia= sexual attraction to a dead body
Izana: necormancy= communication with dead people
Izana: narcolepsy= condition characterized by an extreme tendency to sleep
Izana: i'm assuming you guys meant to say the third one, for Mikey
Izana: holy shit
Emma: no need to be mean about it 😒
Baji: i'll add those to my "new words" list
Mikey: maybe i do have that
Mikey: i do fall asleep in very odd places
Emma: you know what we can talk about this tommorow. time out
*only admins can send messages*
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