#and here i thought my reading into it a bit too much was just me being typically pretentious and overanalytical for funsies. but no

[my-love-is-sunlight]

Wedding bells

Sanji x gardener!reader

This is an amazing request from @secretlife028

Warnings: from my gardener!reader series but can be read as a stand alone, fem reader in mind but no pronouns used, WCI spoilers? But very vague, angst to fluff, good ending

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: In which you say I love you to Sanji in the worst scenario

₊˚❀.ೃ࿔*:･

You were in love with Sanji

That was something clear for everyone that had spent time with both of you. Your eyes following his mastered hands as he chopped the ingredients for dinner, the soft glances and sweet thank you’s you’ll grace the cook with whenever he offered you his delicious meals, your presence after midnight as he cleaned the kitchen a reminder of your unspoken love and affection.

You never thought about whether he would love you the same, the love you gave away was honest and non refundable. You loved because you wanted to

Something the cook was not used to, he was the kind of person to melt at any bit of attention, sign of affection or even acknowledgement, but he allowed himself to be loved by you

But that felt like a lifetime ago. Simpler times where you’ll wake up in the Going Merry, your crew mates laughter in the distance and the smell of fresh breakfast in the morning.

Now here you stand, in front of the man you had wrapped your heart in a bow for, leaving

“Why are you doing this?” You looked at Sanji who was just a feet away but felt like he had left already, his eyes wouldn’t meet yours

“That doesn’t concern you” your heart clenched once more at the stern voice leaving his mouth, that tender tone he once spoke to you with long gone, like a hazy memory

Vines grew on the cooks legs, like you were begging for him to stay and comeback to himself, holding him in place before you, breath shaky like you were about to break

“Sanji speak to me!” You were making this awfully difficult for him, he knew you’ll try and fight but didn’t expect you to be this fierce. Your voice echoed trough his thoughts like a haunting lullaby trying to wake him up from this awful nightmare

“There’s nothing left to say y/n” liar, Sanjis heart held so much unspoken feelings, words, intentions, so much love for you. You frantically took his hand in yours as you wrapped it around in blooming flowers grass and branches, like a grounding spell

“Stop this” you begged

“You’re the one that should stop”

“You want me to stop loving you Sanji?” His breath hitched, the air in his lungs trapped in his throat, he couldn’t have missheard you since you spoke loud and clear, unafraid and so certain. What once was difficult now felt impossible, of course you decided this was the time you’d let the L word roll out of your tongue, now that he couldn’t answer, that he couldn’t say a word of how he actually felt. His heartbeat accelerated in fear, he had dreamed of this moment of you before him saying this, but it didn’t quite went this way

“Because you know damn well I can’t” was the last thing you said before the blonde pulled away from your hold, loosing your balance at the force in his movement, breaking both of your hearts

“Too bad, because you have to… please stop”

So you stopped, standing silently as the love of your life left

You had never admitted this to anyone before, but as Nami held your sad trembling frame in a tight hug you couldn’t help but to say

“Why am I always left behind?” every single word spoken in a broken whisper, merely making it out of your parted lips, but Nami catches it and she can’t help but to wince, like she could feel the deep cut in your heart

“I promise you we’ll get him back”

And you did, but walking into a wedding wasn’t exactly how you expected this rescue would go

The lights jumping from the white garments fry your brain, the wedding bells making your ears bleed and your vision blurry with water that falls from your eyes. Why her? Why now? You knew there was a possibility for Sanji to not reciprocate your love, but reality just hits you now as you see him holding another woman’s hands in his, as he is about to make a promise that you wished accompanied your name after it. Thorns growing out of your frame like venom

But, you got him back

Not a word is exchanged between the two of you in the ride back to The Sunny, your minds busy replaying the mix of emotions you both had gone trough the last few days

Sanji cannot get your voice saying I love you out of his

Your mind flashing images of Sanji and Pudding at the altar

What was there to say after that?

“Thank you for saving me, flower” he whispers as he settles at your side, Nami’s eyes open like dishes as she listens quietly, praying to whatever god is out there that the blonde doesn’t screw things up more with you

“No problem” the icy tone and your numb expression makes him miss your sweet smile, warm laugh and twinkling eyes he was once graced with to see everyday

Another silence follows, a painful one. A silence that makes him realize what he had made you feel

But he’s lucky you’re the most understanding, kind and benevolent being that has walked this earth

His eyes lock in your fidgeting hands, flowers growing from the inside of your palms in anticipation. With the outmost delicacy, he breaks trough them and takes one of the flowers making you gasp, his skin against yours sending electric shocks around your body

He gets on one knee like the dramatic fool he is, the navigator face palming knowing this was to expect from her friend. You stay still

“I am sorry… I have hurt you, an unforgivable sin, I deserve whatever punishment you wish to bestow upon me” his words waiver, as if trying to formulate the best way to get his feelings across and make you come back to him, to open like a sunflower under the beaming sun

“However” your eyes travel to his, getting lost in the endless sea behind them, praying for him to say the magic 3 words

“I hope my confession suffices as an offer worthy of your forgiveness” he pauses as he places the flower in your waving hair, so tender like you were made out of the most precious porcelain that could break at his touch

“I love you y/n, and I hope your love for me remains in your heart… at least a little”

You stay quiet, the expectancy making poor Sanji’s heart to jump like a firecracker, breaths heavy with hope and nervousness. And you break, because how could you not? You knew everything that happened was not to blame on him, in fact, he was much of a victim as you were, if not even more tragic for his own past to come and haunt him down just after he had found a life he could enjoy. With another batch of tears threatening to spill from your eyes, you smile

A smile that melts Sanji like an ice cream on the hottest summer day, a smile he had prayed for to see at least once again, even if he wasn’t the reason behind it. Yet here you were smiling at him, for him, with him

You jump down to his arms, holding him tightly as your hearts dance in opposite directions of your ribcage’s, finally complete

“You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever met” you say between half sobs half giggles, you pull away to look at him again “But you’re my idiot”

Usually Sanji would be nothing less than a gentleman and had asked you for permission, but today, he decides to indulge and just crash his lips into yours

Finally

Nami just rolls her eyes and Luffy laughs, content to finally see his dearest friends make up

Sanji’s finally home

₊˚❀.ೃ࿔*:･

Had an absolute blast writing this hope you like it as much as I do, ty for the request

[the-xolotl]

It Hurts to be Nothing, It’s Worse Being Something With You.

Alastor x gn!Reader

ꨁ Itty bitty snip !

ꨁ a/n: this is the continuation of Darling, Can I Be Your Favorite? ngl this one felt mean even for me xd and this for sure will be the last part this time :)

and yes the title is a reversal of Laufey’s lyrics It hurts to be something, it’s worse to be nothing with you :D

summary: if he cannot make you see reason, he will make you feel regret.

what have you gotten yourself into, you little fool?

—• TAGS: canon typical violence, he collars you but not in a sexy way, unhealthy dynamics, idealization of unhealthy relationships, 🚩🚩🚩, forced contract, no use of y/n, gn reader, proof read :D

Part I | Part II

“And if I was to, hypothetically, entertain your offer, what then?” he asked casually. Everything about his demeanor showed how little he cared about his conversation. Alastor can be the most unserious being in all of Hell, but right now you weren’t laughing. He served himself a cup of his usual tea as he spoke, “What do you have to offer besides yourself?” chuckling.

You take a deep breath to steady yourself. He’s been doing this over and over again, putting you as far beneath him as he likes. Almost as if to make a point. “What do you want?” you answer back.

Bored and displeased at your answer he rolls his eyes, “So, in reality, you have nothing worth my while. Look here, darling,” he put the kettle down folding his hands atop the table with a more serious expression mixed in with something else, “Dealings and contract making are a two-way trade; I get something that benefits me from offering you what you want. You want to trade the ultimate price for what? Love? Don’t be absurd, come now I know you’re much smarter than that.”

By now you should reality check yourself because even after all that the only thing you took away was the bit of praise 'I know you’re smarted than that.' Not 'you could' or 'I thought'. No, he knows you’re smart. “You think I’m smart?”

“Not with the way you’ve been acting recently,” Alastor can feel his eyes beginning to twitch. Not much unlike a couple weeks ago, reasoning with you seems impossible. “You’re talking this conversation in circles. I gave you time to consider your offer and see reason. So I will tell you directly I don’t want you, I’m not interested in frivolous fairs of romance, and I don’t want your soul.”

Each word tore deeper and deeper into you. Opening your mouth to speak he interrupts adding, “And I won’t be inclined to continue being so gracious if you don’t make the right decision; backing down and forgetting this whole ordeal ever happened,” he takes a sip of his hot tea making direct eye contact with you.

Something snapped, the emotions you had bottled up, the anger and hurt of rejection that you simply couldn’t accept burst. “Just give me a chance!” raising your voice and abruptly standing from your seat, “I can change your mind. I can show you what love really is!” Your words reeked of impetuosity and despair. Alastor is ready to get up and leave he’s had enough. You were too far gone at this point he feared.

The last straw was you taking his hand and lacing your fingers together without his permission. Even falling to your knees, looking at him with glassy eyes, “I could show you happiness, we could—” The grip on your hand closed and tighten down painfully. Static crackled all around you, old radio feedback bouncing off the walls assaulting your ears. You tried to pull your hand back but Alastor didn’t let go.

“Could what? Do you really think so high of yourself as to put yourself an equal to me? Don’t be so ludicrous.” His antlers extended with chilling cracking sounds, his limbs growing in size. It was a sound like that of breaking bones that made you gag slightly. The radio demon still didn’t let go while his demonic form manifested itself before you.

His eyes that turned to radio dials looked upon you with disgust, your fight or flight instincts kicking in. And all you wanted to do is get away as far as possible from the nightmare-fueling appearance Alastor is taking. You pulled and threw yourself with your whole body weight in attempts to break free of his iron grasp.

His tall, horrific frame towered over you, the shadows seemingly swallowing you up making you feel even smaller still. Now, antlers twisted nearly reaching the low ceiling and limbs were extended uncomfortably long. He barely fit inside the hotel room, Alastor took up every space, cornering you against the wall of which you trembled against. He laughed, “I’ve lost my patience with you. I gave you an inch but you took a mile. You should have appreciated what little attention I gave you, now what’s that deal you wanted to make, my sweetheart.” The radio filter over his voice intensified, feedback and static buzzing loudly around you.

The hand that had already been grasping yours now envelopes your whole forearm. You felt the grip tighten, “A-Al— Alastor you’re hurting me—” you stammer out barely. The demon felt elation at your blooming fear, watching you trying to run now, break free. Laughable, pathetic the way your very soul quivers before his true nature.

“No, no,” his filter crackling, “You were on your knees, groveling, surrendering your very being to me. Begging me to make you mine even if this would be the only way to belong to me, so do we have a deal?” There’s tears streaming down your face down, fat warm droplets that soaked your face and chin.

“D-Deal! Deal just please let go—!” Strange glowing green light flashed between the both of you. It crackled like lightning, it felt like it burnt your hand and you cried out again. A phantom collar glowing with the same color materialized around your throat clasping around it tightly as a chain weaved itself that wrapped itself around Alastor’s hands. Your fate has been sealed.

You were a disappointing sight, truly. Alastor really had grown fond of you, had been a breath of fresh air to enjoy nice talks with you over drinks without feeling annoyed or bored. Slowly, he returned to his former self, limbs and antlers retracing and shrinking down to their usual side again. You were simply left on the floor, wides blown wide from the horrifying and traumatic experience you’ve been put through. Nothing feels real at this moment, were you even breathing? Judging by the fact you’re still processing the events and your vision is only blurred by the tears at least you are still alive. So to speak.

“Now look at what you’ve done. Ruined everything for your own selfish, salacious desires,” he looked down at you without an ounce of sympathy, “You get to live with the consequences of your actions, and rest assure dearie, I will remind you every day for eternity.” He tugged on your chain harshly, pulling you off slightly off the floor. “Is it worth it? I hope not.” He lets go, letting you fall back to your knees, his laughing track playing along his maniacal cackle as he walked away and out of the room.

ꨁ a/n: THANK YOU FOR READING and those of you who asked for a part two i hope this was just as good as the first part :33

got this locked-in in a matter of a few hours and i almost put it in the backlog but i knew i wouldn’t finish for a few days if i didn’t akdkskald

check out the alastor playlist i made !

—

© 2024 the-xolotl — all rights reserved. do NOT alter, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.

—

⤷ text diviners were made by ME using cafekitsune’s template !! | gradients by rookthornesartistry | animated by cafekitsune ✰

[trumanbluee]

if its not with you (part two) - matty healy

minors dni !! this is 17+ nsfw material !!!!

this is part two of this fic!! i recommend reading that before this one, but it's not necessary!!

word count: 2735

content/warnings: afab main character, established relationship, unprotected sex (no mention of protection). please lmk if i missed anything, thanks! <3

a/n: enjoy!! i've missed posting on here!

She sat on her couch in anticipation, leg bobbing rhythmically as she scrolled through her phone, expecting a call from Matty any minute.

At 9am on the dot, his name flashed across her phone, interrupting the TikTok she was watching. She clicks the ‘accept’ button as if it’s muscle memory, which it is by now, they’d called so many times in the last few months,  and presses her phone to her ear.

“Matty?”

“Hey baby! Just got off the plane. Wanted to let you know I’ll be home in about an hour and a half, ‘kay?” She could hear his smile through his words, and her chest bubbled with excitement at the thought of their reunion.

“Are you sure you don’t want me t’come get you? I’ve got the car, I can just-”

She’s cut off when he tuts over the phone, and she can practically see him shaking his head.

“Nah, honey. Thank you. Just wanna come home to you, yeah? Don’t want the first time I see my girl in months to be in some grimy airport, baby. I love you, I’ll see ya’ in a bit.”

And just like that the call was over, though she wasn’t offended by the abrupt end. Matty’s brain moved extremely quickly, and he often got distracted from the task at hand. She didn’t take it personally, she just couldn’t wait to see him.

She spent the hour she had before he got home tidying up, not wanting Matty to come home to a messy house. Now, she stood in front of the mirror, attempting to tidy herself up to look somewhat presentable for her boyfriend, though she knew he wouldn’t care how she looked. She still donned his oversized - on her at least - dress shirt, buttoned up to just above her cleavage, but had brushed her hair and applied a light amount of makeup, not wanting to seem too messy.

She sat, anxiously, on the couch facing the front door, ears perking at every sound that came from the hallway leading to their shared apartment. 

Then, she heard the rattling of the door, as well as a huff of slight frustration as Matty struggled to walk through the door, dragging his suitcase and carry-ons with him.

She sprung up, rushing over to him in record time. Fiddling with his bags, he finally notices her there in front of him, and dropped everything he was holding on the hardwood floor, instead opening his arms for her to fall into.

Slamming herself into his chest, she wrapped her arms around him, squashing her cheek against his chest.

He stumbled at the impact, chuckling slightly at her eagerness. 

“Hi baby,” he leaned down to whisper in her ear, one hand wrapped tightly around her as the other caressed the back of her head, carding through her soft hair. “Missed me, huh?”

She nodded against his firm chest, chin planting against it as she looked up at him through her eyelashes, eyes bleary with tears. He had no idea.

He cooed, “Oh darlin’, I missed you too. So much.” With this, he picked her up, with her instinctually wrapping her legs around him. He shoved his head into her shoulders, breathing in her scent that he’d missed so much, a mixture of her strawberry shampoo and floral perfume, though she hadn’t even put any on today.

He sighed, keeping one hand on her back, rubbing slow, comforting circles as he hugged her tight, placing his other hand on her bum to keep her stable.

Sniffling slightly, she rubbed the wetness around her eyes away with her fist, placing her head back onto Matty’s shoulder.

“Missed you so much, baby,” He whispered in her ear, planting a soft kiss just behind it as he said it, sending a shiver down her spine. He continued, placing kisses across the side of her neck and along her chin, lifting her head slightly to grant him more access. 

She sighed airily at the feeling of his soft lips against the sensitive skin of her throat, bringing her hand up to twirl the curls at the nape of neck.

“Need you, Matty,” She whined in his ear.

“I know, honey. Wanna take my time with you though, yeah? Haven’t seen you in so long, baby.” He spoke softly into her ear, pressing a kiss to her cheek sweetly before gripping her tightly, her legs still wrapped around his waist.

She reached her head up, placing her lips on his in a desperate kiss, almost as though she was trying to show him how much she’d missed him.

Matty sighed into the kiss, like it was a relief to him to feel her lips on his, and continued the kiss, deepening it slightly as he made the short walk from the hallway to their bedroom and over to their bed, his knees hitting the soft bedding that laid over the end.

He kissed her once more, still holding her in his arms, before he gently laid her back on the bed, the lower half of her body hanging off slightly. She watched him, smiling down at him as he knelt between her legs, pushing her feet softly so they’d bend at the knees, opening her up to him. 

She whined as he pushed up the bottom of his dress-shirt so it bunched up just above her belly button, Matty planting a soft kiss just above the hem of her underwear. 

He hummed, “Missed this, honey. Missed you being such a good girl for me.” He slipped a thumb into her underwear, using his other hand to gently lift her hips up in order to pull them down her legs. 

He kissed the side of her right knee, trailing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses all the way up until he reached her cunt, now sopping wet, before doing the same thing to the other leg.

“M-matty,” she whined, drawn out in complaint at his teasing, “Puh- please.”

He smirked up at her through hooded eyes to see her looking down at him the best she could, eyes furrowed, cheeks red, and biting her lip. 

“What’s wrong baby? Please what?” He pressed a kiss to her throbbing clit, spreading her open with his hand as he did so, before blowing cool air over her aching pussy. 

“W-want you,” she managed to stutter out, already almost completely fucked out from his teasing kisses. 

“Yeah, baby? Want me where, darlin’? Here?” He placed an open mouthed kiss on her lower thigh, “Or here?” He placed another kiss on her soft stomach, hearing a loud whine above him.

He faked surprise, “No? Not there, darlin’? What about here, then?” And with that, he finally placed his hot mouth against her, swirling his tongue lightly around her puffy clit. She keened above him, lifting her hips to meet his mouth, only for them to be softly pushed back down on to the bed, Mattys arm coming up to lay across her stomach, holding her hips down with the weight. 

“Fuck, honey. Y’taste even better than I remember.” He praised, licking a strip from her hole up, earning a loud moan. 

She reaches her hand down, twirling her hand into Matty’s thick, dark-chocolate curls, and presses his face into her pussy. He obeys her silent command, licking and sucking her clit as he brings his hand - the one not occupied with holding her impatient hips down - up to her dripping hole, teasing a single digit at the entrance slowly. 

She whines, hand tightening in Matty’s hair, and grinds her hips to meet Matty’s kitten licks. Taking pity on her, Matty pushes two fingers inside her, curling them up to hit the spot he knows oh so well. She keens, back arching slightly off the bed, eyebrows furrowing at the sudden, though not unwelcome, intrusion. 

He pushes his fingers in and out, in and out, in a steady rhythm, while continuing his attack on her pudgy clit, wanton moans sounding in the air around him, though he can barely hear them as her thighs tighten around his head, muffling any and all sound. Though he doesn’t mind at all, she could suffocate him in her pussy, right here, right now, and he would die a happy death. 

He groans against her pussy, sending vibrations throughout her entire body, as he begins to buck his hips against the edge of the bed in the same rhythm his fingers are fucking her. He’s rock hard, and can’t help but attempt to relieve the uncomfortable pressure building in the tent of his pants. 

Moaning against her clit, he speeds up the movement of his fingers, curling them upwards as he does so. She groans, a slightly guttural sound from the back of her throat, and begins moving her hips back and further against Matty’s face rapidly. 

“G-gonna cum f’me, honey?” Matty asks, hips stuttering against the bedcover as he quickly approaches his own orgasm, the sound of her pleasure being enough to get him off. 

She whined, nodding rapidly as her eyebrows furrow and thighs close around Mattys head. He felt his stomach tighten as her moans got louder, less contained, and he let out a final moan against her clit, sending her over the edge as he came against the grey sweatpants he’d worn on the plane. Her chest rose rapidly, breathes short and high-pitched as she came down from her high, Matty’s fingers still inside her, guiding her through it softly. 

Catching her breath, Matty crawls up the bed, holding himself above her, and begins kissing up her neck, his knees pressed against her sensitive cunt. 

“God, darlin’ y’taste so good you made me cum in my pants.” He admits, laughing slightly as he kisses along her jaw sweetly. 

She giggles, lidded eyes looking up at him as he holds himself up over her, “Really? God that’s so hot.” 

They both laughed softly, basking in each other's presence, but she could still feel the heat of need in the pit of her stomach, oozing down between her legs. She reaches her hand up, curling it around the back of Matty’s neck to pull his head down to reach her, smashing her lips against his. 

“Still need you, baby,” She whispered against his lips, lifting her hips off the bed to grind up against his hardening cock. 

“Fuck, honey, y’killin’ me, wearin’ my shirt. Y’look so gorgeous, sweetheart,” He placed kisses down her neck, stopping to suck on the sweet spot just above her collarbone, before bringing his hands up to tug at the buttons of his shirt, pulling it off to expose her boobs, nipples perking up at the exposure to the cold air in the room. 

He takes one into his mouth, sucking and biting softly as he caresses the other in his hand, thumb brushing over her sensitive nipple harshly, causing her to jolt and let out a loud, drawn-out moan. 

“Missed you so much, sweetheart,” He whispers against her skin, eyes looking up at her adoringly before he turns his attention to her other nipple, performing the same actions again. 

She reaches down, tugging at the top of his sweatpants, silently telling him she wants them off, and he obeys, sitting up to pull his shirt off too, before he returns back up to her face, pressing a soft kiss against her lips, eyes fluttering closed. He reaches his hand down, gripping his hard length, pumping it softly, dragging it teasingly up and down her sticky slit, tapping it on her puffy, red, clit twice, before pressing his thick head into her hole slowly. 

He leans forward, shoving his head into the crook of her shoulder as he slowly pushes into her, feeling her soaking cunt tighten around him as she welcomes him in, welcomes him home. A broken, high pitched whimper sounds below her ear as he finally bottoms out, hips stilling as he feels her tight pussy contract around his cock, her breathy moans in his ear making it difficult to control himself as he slowly drags his cock out, before slowly pushing back in again. 

He lets out a low groan as she cries out, wrapping her legs around his waist, interlocking her heels to keep him inside her.

“Such a good girl, darlin’. So gorgeous… Fuck, I love you so much, baby,” he mumbled out, hips stuttering as he continues his slow rocks into her, her hands reaching his back, dragging her nails up and down. 

She cries out, tight cunt clamping around him as he leans further over her, grabbing one of her hands and intertwining them, placing it on the pillow above her head. 

“L-love you so much Matty, fuck… feels so good.” she stutters out, tears sprouting in the corner of her eyes as he fucks into her slowly, hitting that sweet spot inside her over and over again. She’s completely overwhelmed. That, mixed with how he squeezed her hand almost reassuringly, and peppered kisses over her face and neck, was fogging her brain, and all she could think was, ‘Matty, Matty, Matty’, over and over. 

She said his name like a prayer, breathily calling out to him as she felt herself get tighter and tighter around him, gripping on to his hand in an attempt to ground herself as he brought her closer and closer to coming. 

His brows furrowed, eyes lidded in pleasure as he felt her contract around him. He knew her like the back of his hand, and he could tell from the way her brows screwed up, her mouth lolled open, and how her cheeks grew a bright pink, that she was on the brink of her orgasm. He kept his rhythm, slipping his head back into the crook of her neck and placing kisses across her shoulder as he fucked his cock in and out of her. 

“C’mon, honey,” He whispered in her ear, planting a kiss on her earlobe softly, “Can feel you tightening around me, baby. Gonna cum with me? Yeah?”. He pulled back from her neck to see her nodding, eyes rolled back in her head as her mouth opened in a silent scream.

 He felt her gush around him, and, as if on cue, he felt that familiar tightness in the pit of his stomach, continuing to work his hips, slowly fucking his cock in to her, guiding her through her orgasm, he felt himself spill into her, eyes closed tight as he let out a low groan before stilling inside her. 

Their heavy breathes filled the room, both of their chests rising rapidly as Matty pulled out as carefully as he could, rubbing soft shapes on her upper thigh with his thumb as he did so. She whined at the sensitivity as Matty pulled out, feeling the mixture of both of their orgasms seep out onto the white sheets of their shared bed. 

She allowed her eyes to fall closed, sleep beginning to overtake her when she was brought to reality by the warmth of a wet towel being swiped over her skin, with Matty beside her, shushing and comforting her softly as he cleaned her up. 

“Come on, honey. Ran you a nice warm bath, okay?” He took her hand, placing a hand on her back to guide her up, before leading her into their ensuite, thumb rubbing smooth lines across her knuckles. He helped her step into the bath, arms holding her elbows as he helped her to sit down, before going to walk out of the bathroom. 

He was quickly stopped, however, when he heard her sweet voice from behind him call, “Matty? Aren’t you gonna sit with me?”

His heart stopped at her soft tone of voice, spinning on his heel to face her. 

“Of course, honey. I was just ‘gonna get you some water, yeah?” 

She shook her head, no, pouting down at the water, she spoke softly, “Just want you in here, please.”

He nodded, already beginning to strip the clean sweatpants he’d thrown on mere minutes ago. 

“Of course, sweet girl,” he cooed, settling himself in the bubble bath he’d run for her, “C’mere.” He ushered her over and she placed herself between his legs, head rested on his chest lazily as she drew circles on his open palm whilst he told her all about the tour, and what the band had been up to while they were away. 

[pinkthrone445]

-Let it burn to the ground- Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender:fluf, soft, love

Warnings:Mention about past trauma, fires, boring but useful explanation of CPR

Summary:Melissa lets the fire of love consume her when she meets the new chief of the fire station.

After the amazing night of sex, you both have to deal with the consequences.

Mel ate breakfast in silence, glancing from time to time at her cell phone to see if you responded to her good morning message, but no notification came, you didn't even had opened her message, what made the redhead sigh sad

-"Soooo..."-Her housemate couldn't stand the silence any longer and started talking-"Last night was that good or did you scream like a wild animal on purpose to boost the chief's ego and interrupt my beauty sleep?"- Jacob asked as he ate his cereal, staring at her

-"My body hurts in parts that I didn't even knew existed, so yeah, she was that good" - The redhead replied without much emotion in her voice

-"So why do you look so sad?" - He asked, confused, and Mel sighed again

-"Because she left without saying goodbye... And now she doesn't even read my messages..."- She murmured sadly. Mel wasn't a self-doubting person, she was usually very confident in who she was and how she looked. But she couldn't help but wonder what had made you leave just like that, maybe you hadn't liked her body, she usually turned off the lights, but last night she was so desperate that she completely forgot about it. Or maybe you didn't like that the night focused only on her pleasure and not on you too... Maybe you'd reconsidered that she'd been with one of your subordinates in that same bed and you didn't like it...

-"Maybe she had an emergency at work and had to run away, she's the chief after all, her day off only lasted until 12 o'clock yesterday, if she was called after that time for an emergency, she would have had to run to help..."-Her friend commented and Mel nodded thinking about that possibility, it was something that could have definitely happened, which calmed her down a bit.

But two more days passed without you giving any signs, your son continued to go to school, but in none of those days that had passed had you gone to take him to school or pick him up. She even saw that your son was picked up by one of your sisters who looked a lot like you and the redhead thought about going to talk to her to find out something about you, but she didn't want to look so desperate so she didn't do it.

On the other hand, Jacob was upset to see his housemate so sad, and he wasn't a person who sat idly by when he saw one of his friends in pain, so he decided to do what the redhead would never do, visit you at the station to see what was going on and get answers.

When he arrived at the station he was surprised to see all the firetrucks outside being washed and cleaned so thoroughly he could see his reflection in the red metallic paint

-"Excuse me, hi" - Jacob spoke up to get the attention of the firefighters who were cleaning-"Does anyone know where I can find the station chief?"-He asked with his best smile

-"She is in her office, but I wouldn't recommend you to see her, lately she has been more bitch than usual..."-One of the annoyed firefighters commented-"Be careful, maybe you'll go see her and she'll get you cleaning up too" - He joked making the others laugh and Jacob rolled his eyes going to the entrence desk asking to see you.

You were reading some reports with a very deep frown when Jacob entered your office

-"Excuse me chief..."-Jacob spoke in a soft tone, your angry face did caused him a little fear

-"I told them that nobody could interrupt..."- You began to speak annoyantly, but relaxed your gaze at the sight of the scrawny young man at your door-"Hello Jacob, what are you doing here?" - You consulted and he looked at you confused

-"You know my name? Wow..."-The young man was proud of that for some reason

-"Yes, you are the boyfriend of one of my younger firefighters, besides Melissa told me some really funny anecdotes about you... Can I help you with something? I'm a little bit busy" - You asked seriously looking at your paperwork again

-"He is not, we are not... Did he said something to you?... Nevermind, that's not why I'm here for, I'm here for Melissa..."-Jacob spoke, smiling a little as he saw your interest return to him at the slightest mention of the redhead, you put your papers aside and looked at it with complete attention

-"What happened to Melissa? It she ok?" - Your voice sounded really worried

-"She is not, she is sad because you didn't call her again and you run away in the middle of the night after interrupting my beauty sleep with those screams... Why haven't you call her again?" - He asked with a frown, approaching you more confidently

-"Because I can't..."-You whispered without looking at him

-"WHY!?" - He yelled at you slamming your desk, but his anger and confidence quickly disappeared when you stood up from your desk with a frown and crossing arms facing him, sudently he felt small and had to take a few steps back-"Why ma'am? If you care to tell me, please" - He asked again but softer this time

-"Because I can't do casual, no with her at least... Melissa wants casual sex, no a relationship right now, and I can't do it... Have you seen her? We had this amazing connection, amazing chats, amazing dancing, funny moments and amazing sex and she is amazing... Do you know how often that happens in a first date? Never... Even my first date with my husband was worse and I end up marring him... I can't do casual sex after that, I can't when I feel that kind of connection with her... And if I keep seeing her I won't be able to say no everytime she asks me to come, and that would only destroy me more because I will keep my hopes up even if I know it's a dead end... I got scared of getting hurt okey?"-You sighed a little, embarrassed to admit that out loud while almost a complete stranger listened to you. Jacob, on the other hand, didn't know what excuse for your behavior he was waiting for, but it certainly wasn't that.

-"I... Didn't knew, sorry... But at least you own her an explanation, you can't vanish like that, she is sad and it scares me when she is sad... Please talk to her" - His friend whispered and you sighed

-"I'll talk to her... Later, I need to work right now..."-You whispered going back to your desk and he nodded opening the door

-"Thank you..."-He answered

-"By the way cupid, make a move on your friend, he will say yes, he is always checking his phone at work for your messages, God knows how many times I gave him a warning for being with that phone talking to you at work..."-You whispered without looking at him, but you could feel the way he smiled at your comment when he closed the door.

Hours later, you went to pick up your son from school, arriving a little bit earlier, trying to see Mel and talk a little before your son finished his classes.

After introducing yourself at the entrance, you made your way to Melissa's classroom to find it empty, confused you walked down the hallway until you heard her familiar tone of voice

-"Fudge! How is possible that he keeps winning?!" - The redhead spoke annoyed, looking at her phone while sitting in the teacher's room. You approached carefully and knocked on the door gently to get her attention, when her gaze fell on your face she raised her eyebrows in surprise, but quickly her face changed to seriousness and she looked back at her phone

-"Hi Melissa..."-You whispered but she didn't even look at you, you sighed and moved a little closer carefully-"How are you?..."-You gave her a little smile

-"Fine"-It was all the answer she gave you

-"Look... I can see you are mad at me and you are in all your right... I'm sorry for not answering your texts this few days" - You whispered and she just shrugged her shoulders

-"I don't care..."-She replied curtly again and you walked closer to her

-"I am really sorry, I didn't wanted to hurt you... I just got scared of how fast everything went and didn't find the strength to answer..."-You whispered looking at her-"Do you think I could have another chance? I know you felt our connection too, maybe it's worth another try? I promise not to disappear again" - You muttered and she looked at you over the edge of her glasses

-"I can't, I'm busy, I have a date with someone tonight" - She replied seriously and you sighed, on one hand you were afraid of the anger in her eyes and on the other hand this was exactly what you feared, she didn't want something serious and the fact that she already had another date after 3 days of being with you confirmed it even more

-"Oh, Okey, sorry for bother you"-You whispered walking to the door-"And sorry for ignoring you..."-You left the room heading to the exit to wait for your kid. For some reason the redhead's response had hurt you more than you'd like to admit, though maybe the fact that you ignored her had pushed her to that, you thought maybe you'd get another chance. Maybe you'd have to get used to mediocre dates since no other could match the connection you'd had with her in the first one.

After being lost in thought, your son ran out of school towards you with his small backpack on his back, smiling a lot when he saw that you were the one who went to pick him up

-"Mommy!" - The little one hugged you tight and you hugged him too, needing those hugs more than he knew. When he stepped back a little and saw your face, he frowned-"Why are you crying mom?"-Your son took your face with his little hands and you sighed, you didn't even realize that a tear had escaped your eye

-"It's just that I missed you so much" - You whispered and hugged him again-"Do you want to go for ice cream?" - You asked and he smiled and nodded excitedly.

Another week passed and your station had returned to Abbot to take the CPR trainer test to the teachers who had not been present the past time and again to a few who didn't do it correctly, although you did not want to go, the other firefighters had training exercises and you were one of the few who was free, so you had to attend along with Jacob's "friend", Avi.

Gregory, Melissa, Ava,Janine, Jacob and another teachers had to take it again, so there was no scape of seeing the redhead.

When you arrived, you prepared the room with the practice dummies, placing some on the floor and others on tables. When everything was ready, the teachers came in. Melissa frowned as she walked in and saw you, but you just decided to keep greeting them as if nothing happened.

As the exercises began you leat Avi lead the way and you stood on a corner in silence with a very rigid posture, you could quickly saw why Melissa had failed her previous test, she had terrible posture and her compressions were very weak, Jacob was there because he wanted, Janine was doing it again because she hadn't taken the proper time to do it last time and Ava and Gregory had to do it because they hadn't been certified because they hadn't been present the time before.

-"I want to clarify a couple of things... Since the previous instructor didn't explain everything that was needed... Before we start compressions, you need to check that you don't have anything around that could cause further harm to you or the victim, like fire around or something that could fall on you. Second, you need to check first if the person is conscious, to start CPR, you need to have 3 missing things, no breathing, no movement and no response on someone, at that point you need to ask someone to call 911 while you start the compressions, if there is no one around, you call it first and then start the compression. The person has to be on a hard and flat surface, we are going to find the center of the chest, place one hand on top of the other and interlace the fingers, pressing mostly with our palm. We bend over the victim, our elbows locked and arms straight. They have to be at least 2 inches deep and at least 100 times per minute, it's more than one per second so they have to be fast and consistent"-As you explained each step, you only looked your eyes at the doll or the others avoiding the redhead, even though you knew her gaze was fixed on you-"Every 30 compressions, keep count, give 2 breaths to the victim... If you start to get tired, it is preferable to have someone else continue the compressions for you while you rest, because if you are tired your compressions will not be as deep as they were at the beginning nor will they be very effective... Here at school they have masks to give mouth-to-mouth breathing, they cover the nose and the mouth and they are only one way air pass, it is preferable that you use them as this way we avoid contaminating ourselves with viruses, budy fluids or contagious deseases. If we don't have a breathing shield to do it and we are not sure if we should touch the other person's mouth, remember that CPR without mouth to mouth interaction is also effective and can provide the effect that we need in a safer way. Now! Pay attention, it's different for children till the age of 15 depending how big they are. You still have to control the same thing as at the beginning, check if they breathe, move or have reactions. Check that the environment is safe and call the 911. But when we start compressions, you will do it with one hand only, no both because children chest are more fragile and we can broke a bone... After 30 compressions, you breath twice on their mouth using the face shield or breathing mask and then keep with the compressions until the ambulance arrives... Any questions?"-You finished your explanation and asked as everyone shook their heads-"Okey, then, if everyone payed attention, dived yourself into couples and start your compressions, if everything goes as we instructed, you will have your certificate at the end of the class"-You commented and watched as everyone worked.

Melissa was annoyed with the lack of attention you were paying to her, but it started to bother her more when her name started coming out of your mouth non stop

-"Melissa you didn't check your surroundings" "Melissa you need do deeper compressions" "Melissa arms straight" "Melissa, faster" "Melissa use the face shield" "Melissa, Melissa, Melissa" - she was tired of hearing you complain about her all the time, even tho in reality you were checking everyone's movements.

The redhead put the doll aside and stood in front of you with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed

-"Can we talk in the next room?"-She asked and you looked at her with a frown too

-"Avi, keep checking them, I'll be back in a minute" - You commented by following the redhead to another classroom

-"What was all of that?! You were being a bitch to me!" - The redhead whispered/screamed

-"I just was correcting what was needed to be corrected, it's my job, you need to do the things right to get your certificate" - You muttered authoritatively and she scoffed

-"Admit it you were only trying to make me embarrassed! You are only mad at me because I didn't accept another date after you vanish for three days!" - The redhead tapped your shoulder trying to push you but she didn't move you an inch, on the contrary, you got closer to her coming face to face

-"I'm not mad at you for that! I'm mad at myself because I run away because it scared me how casual everything is with you!" - You replied with a frown

-"I didn't wanted casual with you! I wanted a million more dates! You think I didn't felt that connection with you?!" - Melissa commented annoyed

-"Then why you went out dating again so soon?" - This time your tone of voice was calmer and softer, but little hurt

-"I didn't had a date, I just wanted you to feel hurt like I felt..."-she confessed and you sighed

-"I hate you" - You whispered laughing softly - "I hate that that worked" - You confessed and she smiled arrogantly

-"I hate you too" - She said and tried to give you a little peck, but you grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to you kissing her deeper, grabbing her jacket with force and making her moan a little bit when you pull apart biting softly her lip- Can we have another date tomorrow?" - She whispered over your lips

-"Chris has a football game and I promise to be there" - You whispered and she signed-"But you are invited if you want... He will be happy to have more people cheering him" - You commented and she smiled

-"I will love it..."-she answered and walked away toward the door

-"The kiss doesn't mean that you don't need to be better at the test, if you don't improve I won't give you the certificate" - You confessed and she rolled her eyes

-"I hate you!" - She replied and you laughed walking behind her.

[urfavlarry]

hihi! can i request a fic where the read is ben and aidens childhood friend and they both like the reader? like how would that go 🎀

Love triangle

Ben & Aiden x childhood friend!reader

warnings: swearing, bad grammar, brief mention of gagging

A/N: the texting part reminds me of a part from a book called call me by your name :0

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╰┈➤ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🎧🛹 ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Your childhood was a wild one. Of course it was! You had Aiden in your childhood! He wasn’t always like that, and you knew. The same with Ben. One lost his sparkle and the other gained it. You couldn’t lie if someone asked if you were some how involved in Aiden dyeing his hair. How could you not! He would be happy so you would do anything for your best friend. You and Aiden were there for Ben when he was going through tough time, you being the one that bought him his headphones to help him calm down. Of course they were there for you too! When you had family issues, personal issues, or even school issues! They were always there for you as if they were your unpaid therapist haha.

Your summers were never dull when with them, Ben being the only reasonable one and got you two out of trouble most of the time. He was the one that you always called at night when something was bothering you, knowing Aiden would probably already be sleeping, his snoring sounding like a damn alarm clock! Aiden however would be there for you during injuries and things like that. He was quite experienced with patching people up since he himself had to do it a lot on himself. Skateboarding injuries suck ass.

And here you were, looking at your phone, two different tabs opened. One with yours and Aidens chats and the other with yours and Bens. Both having the last message as;

— — — — — — — — — — — —

‘I love you Y/N.”

— — — — — — — — — — — —

What were you supposed to do? Yes you liked them but you weren’t sure if you could choose between them. You gagged at the thought of dating the both of them, thinking it would be weird since they are literally cousins. You shake off the thought, groaning and scream into your pillow. Watching the time go by, you get another text from Aiden and Ben;

— — — — — — — — — — — —

‘Hello? Y/N?? Are you there?’

‘Y/N?”

“HELLOOOO?”

— — — — — — — — — — — —

“Y/N everything okay?”

— — — — — — — — — — — —

You open the messages, trying to type out an answer but every single one felt like it wasn’t enough.

‘I need more time.”

You rewrote that to;

‘Could we talk about it in person?’

Nope! Rewriting that to;

‘Maybe we should just stay friends? No hard feelings right?’

FUCKING HELL Y/N, NO!!

‘I love you too, but I just can’t choose between you two, I love you and Ben so so much, you’re my best friends after all, why wouldn’t I? You have been here for me since we were 8, and I appreciate that but I don’t think I can love one and leave the other behind, I’m sorry.’

Yeah, that seems alright. You send the message and send the same thing to Ben, just rewriting his name to Aidens. They both must be so confused, I doubt they told each other about their feelings towards me, knowing the both of them a bit too well. You hear your phone blow up a bit, deciding to ignore them, you start to pack. Oh reader, nobody told you? You’re moving! Out of the state, well.. to a whole new continent! Isn’t that exciting? Well, it would be if this whole thing wasn’t going on. You’re leaving behind the people you love so much, how sad and American high school movie is that? Your mom yells for you to hurry, grabbing the photos and gifts from the group. You look at your now empty room, walking downstairs you send a quick; “Goodbye America<3” with a picture of your suitcase on snapchat and turn off your notifications. Everyone in the group knew, except Aiden and Ben. You walk downstairs, everything packed and ready. Your mom was waiting for you in front of the car, grabbing your things and puts them in the back of the car.

She smiles at you, hugging you and kisses your forehead. “You ready to go ducky?” She asks and you nod, smiling at her. She pats you on the back and you both get in the car. You get comfortable, knowing it would be a long car ride when you see Ben and Aiden sprinting out of their homes. Your dad drives off, Ben and Aiden chasing the car for what felt like hours yet it was only just a few seconds. They looked devastated, heart broken even. But it’s what the three of you needed; a fresh start.

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[atinylittlepain]

Little Pinch

nurse!marcus pike x f!reader

she needs to get bloodwork done. one small problem, getting bloodwork done never goes well for her, especially not when she's distracted by the very kind, very handsome nurse doing it.

wordcount | 3.3K

content info | 18+ discussions of getting bloodwork that includes needles, fainting, nausea, mostly fluff, nurse marcus to the rescue, this is just a fun time, also an un-beta'd time so like, be nice pls

a/n | shoutout to the girls (gn) that pass out every time they get blood work done (me). I have to get new labs tomorrow morning, and writing this is how I coped with that prospect :') this one is for the fainters, the thin veiners, the "just do it in my hand"-ers - i see you, i am you, gawd bless

..........................................................................

Here’s the thing, this never goes well. It wasn’t always like this though. She has a vague memory of being a kid and taking it like a perfect champ, testing for mono after a rash of cases at school. But then, well, something changed. 

It runs in her family. Thin veins that are hard for even the best nurses to find, lots of oh, I just lost it, and well, let’s try your other arm, and always, ultimately, hands? Should we try the hands? No, the nurses never listen when she tells them to just start with the hands, and without fail, somewhere around the third or fourth time they try to get the needle in, a cold sweat breaks, and the room starts to filter through a fuzzy pinhole of vision. It’s embarrassing, she thinks, because, really, she has no problem with needles. Can watch it go in, no issues with piercings, et cetera, et cetera, but getting blood drawn? Yeah, forget about it. She usually comes to with paperwork around her feet that she had been holding, and a well-meaning nurse pressing a damp paper towel to her forehead and breathing the remnants of her lunch over her face and alright, hon? Usually a box of apple juice and an escort out to her car to make sure she doesn’t go offline again. 

The other thing is, unfortunately, she’s pretty sure her little fainting, fading thing has gotten worse over the years. A conditioned response, she thinks, that cold sweat starts the second she walks into the waiting room, already anticipating what comes next. And today, well, even worse than some of the others. Twelve hours fasted, and no, that certainly won’t help her case, no matter how much water she downed before she came here, no matter how tight she squeezes her fist in the hopes of pumping even one vein up enough to be tenable. She looks at the woman sitting across from her in the waiting room, reading a back-ordered issue of Cosmo, flipping and flippant and really, why can’t she be like that? Why can’t she be normal like that? Instead, her heel is doing a frantic tap, whole leg jerking with it, and everytime she checks her watch she feels her heart creep a little further up into her throat. 

If she’s being honest, she thought about canceling her labs. No, doc, all good, doc, don’t need to know, doc. And then a friend pointed out, frustratingly, that avoidance is only going to make it worse. Right, so, right, so right, so, here she is. And here’s the nurse opening the door and right, calling her name, and it’s a man nurse, male nurse, though she’s pretty sure she’s not being PC by making that specification in her mind because really, twenty-first century, and really, anyone can be a nurse. But not anyone, right? Lots of schooling, right? Right. She realizes a bit too late that she hadn’t responded to the nurse calling her name, jerking up out of her chair and trying for a smile that she thinks probably looks more like constipation. And that’s just great because now man nurse, sorry, just nurse, probably thinks she’s constipated and she’d rather not have the, actually, very handsome, just nurse, thinking that on top of whatever she’s got going on that necessitates lab work she also can’t take a shit. Right. 

“We’re going to be in this room right here.” Handsome just nurse has a nice voice too, deep but kind, and a strong jawline, and a patchy beard but she likes that it’s patchy, and he’s tan and he’s got one of those big watches that tells you how hard your heart was beating on your run and he probably runs in the afternoon after clocking out of the needle-in-arms gig and that’s probably why he’s so tan, probably has a golden retriever who runs with him too, because he looks like a golden retriever guy, dark flop of wavy hair and that smile and oh, oh, he just asked her a question and now she’s supposed to answer it. 

“I’m sorry, could you say that again?” He smiles, nods, being nice, at least, about her whole scared prey animal situation. She presses her palm down hard on her knee to keep it from bouncing any more. 

“It says on this order that these labs need to be taken fasted. Can you confirm to me that you haven’t had anything to eat or drink besides water in the last twelve hours?” Oh yes, yep, she can confirm that for you, Marcus, his name is Marcus, says so on his little lanyard badge. Thanks for the easy one, Marcus, pitch right down the middle, Marcus, with your nice smile and your clipboard and your, well, needles and tubes. But before he can get started with his, well, needles and tubes, she makes a strangled, sort of despondent sound because in situations like these, she comes with a warning label. 

“I should let you know I have, um, bad veins? Honestly, you can just start with my hands, I don’t mind it. And also, I’m a fainter, yeah, so, it happens every time, just so you know.” And usually, usually, her spiel is given very little notice, mmmokay, hon. Sure, they’ll lay her back, how merciful, so she doesn’t crack her skull open on the way out of conscious orbit. That’s about it, though. But this time, she thinks, might just be different.

“Okay, thank you for giving me the heads up. If you’re sure you’re alright with starting with the hands then it’s fine by me to get it done that way.” So, so fine, Marcus, and maybe, just maybe, she thinks she might not pass out this time. He sets the exam table at a reclined angle and she wills her rigid spine to settle against it, trying to find the balance between breathing so deeply she starts to get light headed, and not breathing at all. In case you were wondering, yes, she is on medication for anxiety, it just doesn’t seem to presently be working. 

“Just gonna feel around a bit here for a good one.” She only feels a little insane for the kick and clench in her heart when he takes her one hand in both of his, because he’s just palpating the back of her hand to find, as he said, a good one. Yes, the word for it is palpating, and there is certainly nothing romantic nor, hello, sexual about anything that’s called palpating. But, hey, taking wins where she can get them, and even through the latex gloves, his hands are warm and big and very know what they’re doing about the whole thing. And she’s no expert, obviously, but he’s got a very nice, very visible vein in his forearm, and she bets phlebotomists love him, bets that when he gets blood drawn, he’s in and out no problem, bets that even she could draw blood from him. Nope, nothing sexual about that, nothing weird about that, right? Right. Nothing sexual either, when he ties off the tight band around her arm and she watches his one bicep flex a little with the effort. 

“I can count you down, or you can look away and I’ll just get it done, whichever you prefer.”

“Uh, no preference, I’ll just look away and you can do whatever you want to me.” Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ. She realizes exactly what she just said a bit too late, him, Marcus, nice nurse Marcus, letting out a laugh that fizzles out into a cough. Great, now she’s made her fucking phlebotomist uncomfortable, possibly one of the last people you want to make uncomfortable. But if that, whatever that was, lingers, he doesn’t show it, already swiping an antiseptic wipe over the back of her hand and pulling his little cart of tubes closer to himself. And she knows this part, she’s good at this part, letting her eyes sweep up and to the right, because he’s on her left, and willing whatever vein he decided is a good one to stay a good one. Little pinch, little prayer, she lets out a held breath when he says a quiet alright and keeps the needle exactly where it is. Hallelujah.

“This might take a little longer, just because we’re drawing from your hand.”

“I’ll bleed as fast as I can then.” At the very least, he laughs, even though she wishes she had kept that one to herself. 

“Do you live around here?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Sorry, I’m trying to distract you.” 

“Didn’t they teach you how to do that in like, phlebotomy school?” She still has her eyes turned up and away, only a little wince when he switches out one tube for another. He hums at her question.

“Not really, I could ask you about the weather, is that better?” 

“It’s cloudy. Not much of a conversation starter.” 

“Well, why don’t you ask me something, since you’re such an expert on starting conversations.”

“Do you have a golden retriever?”

“What?”

“Sorry, you just, you look like the kind of guy who’d have a golden retriever.” Another tube clicks into place, but she’s not paying any attention to that now. 

“Uh, no, no golden retriever. I do however have a very old, very deaf pit mix named Lucille.” Goddamnit, somehow that’s hotter than the golden retriever. 

“Great name.”

“Yeah, I thought so too. She came with it when I adopted her.” God. Fucking. Damn it. What next, is he a volunteer firefighter on the weekends?

“Alright, that’s the last one.”

“Wait, really?” She chances a skittish glance but, sure enough, the needle is out.

“Yep, just let me get a band-aid for you and you’re all set.” Is he? Is she? Really? Going to make it out of here with no blackout? She considers, very briefly, as Marcus is smoothing a band-aid over the back of her hand, whether it’s possible to put a phlebotomist on retainer. 

“If you want to sit for a minute and make sure you’re feeling alright before getting up that’s totally fine. I can also get you water or juice if you’re getting lightheaded.” 

“Oh, no, I’m fine actually. Which, hey, thanks for not making me faint and stuff– that’s a first for me in a very long–” Oh, oh, stops herself mid-compliment because oh, oh, maybe stood up too fast, because the room is going a little dark, a little sideways, cold prickle and nauseous and–

“Easy, easy, I’m gonna help you sit up, okay?” His voice is a little fuzzy around the edges. To be honest, he’s a little fuzzy around the edges, though she knows right away what happened. No, not her first rodeo, like she blinked and then came to in a strange sprawl on the end of the exam table. Marcus presents a dixie cup to her, holds it right in her line of sight because clearly, she’s still a little slumped, still a little vacant, and a little warm, actually, which is new, and a little pleasant, and, oh, it’s because his arm is curled around her shoulders, firm palm held there to help her sit up. Oh. He smells like clorox and something woodsy, and it shouldn’t, but it kind of works. 

“You feeling okay?”

“Mmmhmm.” She’s afraid of what might come out of her mouth if she doesn’t keep her lips pressed in a thin line, mmhmms again when he asks if she can sit up on her own, only a little despondent when he takes his arm away. 

“So, you really weren’t kidding about that happening every time, huh?” 

“Nope, wish I was. It’s– I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“That you had to deal with that.”

“You don’t have to be sorry about that, it’s part of the job. And actually, you fainted about as perfectly as I could’ve asked you to.”

“I didn’t know you could faint like, well.” 

“Right before you went down you said I’m gonna faint. That’s a lot better than getting no heads up and turning around to find my patient unresponsive on the ground.” 

“Oh gee, I bet you say that to all your patients.” Lord, if there was ever a time to put her out of her misery it’d be now. She probably still looks green from her little trip to outer space but sure, flirt with Marcus, handsome nurse Marcus who just watched you absolutely eat it. Kick your feet and bat your eyelashes while you’re at it. 

“I take it you’re feeling better then? Are you okay to walk out to the front desk?” And the rest is, mercifully, easy. He walks her to the front desk, squeezes her shoulder and gives her a good job today that she likes a little too much. She makes a mental note to herself to never come back to this clinic for any future bloodwork, lest she make a fool of herself all over again in front of a man who, with any luck, she will never see again. 

…

“Yes, this is she speaking.” This is she speaking in the middle of the cereal aisle with a half-filled grocery basket at her feet. She sets her gaze on a hyper-realized image of a granola cluster (now with real strawberries!) while the woman on the other end of the phone tells her that her lab results came in and were sent over to her doctor. 

“Oh, great, thank you for letting me know. Do you know– did things look okay?” 

“We don’t interpret the results, ma’am. Your doctor will go over that with you.” She doesn’t quite catch that, doesn’t catch the woman’s ma’am? either, a little preoccupied with staring down the aisle, because is that? Is he? He looks good out of the scrubs. 

“Ma’am?”

“Sorry, no, um, of course. Thanks again.” If the woman had anything else to tell her, it’s a little too late for it, already hung up, and she’s trying to decide if she wants him to see her, or if fleeing immediately is the best course of action. He probably wouldn’t even recognize her, she thinks. It’s been a couple of weeks since the whole ordeal. And actually, she’d prefer if he didn’t recognize her. Oh yeah, the one who, well, ate it. But it seems the choice has already been made for her, because he saw her, walking down the aisle toward her, with his chin tilted down and part of a smile like he isn’t sure, but he’s pretty sure. He says her name like a question. Guilty as charged.

“Marcus, right?” Like she forgot his name, ha. His smile stretches, a little brighter, palm to the nape of his neck, and while she got the golden retriever part wrong, she totally clocked the rest, watch on his wrist and nice-looking athletic shorts and just-right-tight t-shirt with the little swoosh on the chest. She thinks his hair might even be a little sweat-damp, curled ends nearly getting in his eyes. In other words, she’s a goner. 

“How have you been since we– you, well–”

“Since I passed out on you?” Yeah, that, he laughs out and yeah, she likes him, sue her. 

“Just for the record, I believe it was you who said I passed out perfectly, so.” Shrug, so, he takes a step closer, leans in a little like he’s going to tell her a secret. In the cereal aisle, of all places. 

“Just for the record, I really don’t say that to all my patients.”

“No?”

“Nope, just the nervous, pretty ones.”

“I was not nervous.”

“You weren’t?”

“Nope.”

“Are you just gonna blow past the other thing?”

“What thing?”

“The pretty thing.”

“Yep.” Something a little giddy, like being back in high school, shared, shit-eating and smug grins. He shakes his head and she rolls her lips back in her mouth to stop her smile from getting any cheesier. 

“So, you do live around here then?” 

“Mm, yeah, I do. And so do you?”

“I do.”

“Nice, nice.”

“Lovely weather we’re having.”

“Wow.” 

“What? I’m making conversation.”

“You’re still not very good at it.”

“I’ll keep working on it for you.”

“Sure, okay. What kind of cereal do you get?”

“What kind do you think I get?”

“You look like a Kashi guy, if I’m honest.”

“Somehow I feel insulted.”

“Well.”

“You’re not even right either.” 

“No? What do you get then?” He just smiles, steps away and reaches up to the top of the shelf and she is very grateful to General Mills for being located on the top shelf because his shirt rides up just enough to see a bare hip. In cheerios we trust. 

“Apple cinnamon, seriously?”

“What? It’s a classic.”

“Actually, you know what, that tracks.” 

“What do you get?” She waggles her basket in front of him in response, goods already procured. 

“Peanut butter chex, respectable choice.”

“Thank you, thank you.” 

“You know, I’d say we’re pretty good at this conversation thing.”

“Yeah, we’re not bad.”

“Do you want to do this again sometime? Not in the cereal aisle?”

“What, you mean like in the produce section?” He smiles at that, rolls his eyes, his basket lightly bonking against hers. 

“I was thinking more like dinner, or drinks if that’s your thing?” 

“I might be free on Saturday.”

“I might also be free on Saturday.” 

“Well, sounds like we’re both free on Saturday.”

“Can I get your number?” His lockscreen is a picture of a dog. Lucille, he tells her, before she was very old and very deaf. She can’t help how big her smile gets at that. 

“Text me, and we’ll do this whole conversation thing again.” I will, he says, phone tucked back into his pocket, though he seems to think twice before asking her can I see something really quick. Not entirely sure what he means when she nods, but then his hand sort of hovers over her forearm, may I? He really does have nice hands, she doesn’t think twice about nodding again. 

“Oh yeah, we didn’t have to use your hand. I could have totally gotten it from here.” His hand curled around her elbow and his thumb lightly pressing into what she can only assume is a vein, and he says it so earnestly that she can’t help the incredulous laugh that rises up in her chest. 

“Really? You’re still stuck on that, huh?” He smiles something sheepish, pad of his thumb rubbing an apology into her skin before pulling away. She didn’t really want him to pull away.

“Sorry, occupational hazard, I guess.” 

“Kinda weird, you know.”

“Did I just ruin this whole thing?”

“Mmm, no, I kinda like it.”

“So, Saturday?”

“Looking forward to it, Marcus.” 

[arliedraws]

In the books, Sirius's devotion to Harry is of course very deep, but it never translates to something physical. He only shakes Harry's end when he leaves his bedside in book 4, and in book 5 there is something resembling a hug, like twice...? As a dog he stood up his hind legs and front paws on harry's shoulders and a half hug after Christmas. Idk it sort of drives me crazy, because in the movies Harry and Sirius are so affectionate! That first hug when Harry arrives in Grimmauld!! Gary and Dan had an amazing chemistry that other actors were jealous of, they mirrored the book characters, so it palpable on screen, the few scenes Gary is in at all at least.

So, what do you make of this? Do you in musing for art imagine a more affectionate relationship between Harry and Sirius? Maybe if Sirius survived the war? Molly's hug in book 4 was a poignant moment but imo that should have been a moment between Sirius and Harry. Sirius already says he expected something catastrophic to happen to Harry in the third task, that's what he stutters when Harry comes in with Dumblebore. So he is literally afraid of his godsons life and it still shows of course, Sirius staying at Harry's side was very beautifully written, like the devotion is clear, but I am foaming at the mouth for more affection between them in canon? Platonic, not shipping. So between the movies and the books Im just kinda torn what's better

It's more a rant than an ask, sorry lol, but if you have any input I'd he so stoked to read it. Not many peeps in the fandom even give Sirius and Harry any time of day, nvrmind even understand what they had (which also drives me kinda nuts but ok)

Ohhhh, anon, you’ve come to the right spot! Mostly because I love them. I would say that 80% of my fandom interest is just Sirius being a dad to Harry.

To your question, I don’t think one is better than the other. Each has their purpose. Let me share my thoughts:

1. I am soft for movie Sirius and Harry’s affectionate touching. However. The dynamics of their relationship were NOT mirrored from the books, which…is fine. Honestly, I just don’t think it was a priority for the filmmakers. This particular bit doesn’t bother me because the movies are not supposed to replace the source material—they are an interpretation. To me, watching the movies is like reading fic—fun to watch but not canon. Also, the filmmakers removed so much of their relationship in GoF that they HAD to make Sirius and Harry physically affectionate in order for movie audiences to see what losing Sirius would mean to Harry. Their complexity is completely unexplored in the films, and they had to do SOMETHING to get the audience to feel sad when Sirius died. This started in PoA when they really downplayed the context of their relationship. (Lol, see my rant on PoA. I really don’t like that movie hahahahaha.)

2. In the books, Harry and Sirius are not physically affectionate with each other despite their intense love for each other, and I think this is an effective way to show characterization. As I tell my students, this might have been intentional by the author, but it could have been an instinct that she followed (what feels right for the characters).

Here’s what I think: both are so terrified of losing the other that they won’t allow themselves to get too close, and, crucially, they both fear showing vulnerability. Touching someone and reaching out for a hug or comfort is an extremely vulnerable thing to do. If you reach out for a hug, you are showing your true feelings. To be rejected physically is sometimes more devastating than someone telling you to just “go away.” It’s a sign of trust to touch someone—you are trusting that they feel the same way about you, and you are trusting that they won’t pull away. Both Sirius and Harry understand rejection, and both avoid it. How do you avoid rejection? You distance yourself.

I’ll put the rest under a cut because I think this might get long…

Sirius and Harry, for all that they love each other, fall out of trusting each other by OotP. Part of this is trauma, but it is also miscommunication. Harry is worried that Sirius will do something stupid—either out of concern for Harry or because he wants to get out of number 12–but he’s worried he’ll lose Sirius. So by withholding affection (which I’m not sure if he knows how to give physically), Harry distances himself from Sirius which will, theoretically, keep Sirius safe (of course, it backfires). Sirius is…you know…going through stuff in OotP. He is already vulnerable—he perceives himself as being emasculated because he’s not allowed to leave his childhood home and he’s relegated to performing ‘uninteresting, domestic work’, and he must be inactive when he’s a man OF action.

When it comes to Goblet of Fire and the odd handshake… I think Sirius is reeeeeally holding back. Harry does NOT want him to go, and Sirius knows this. (Why DOES Dumbledore send him away? Literally anyone else could have “alerted the old crowd” and NOT the convicted murderer. This is clearly the author’s excuse to get Sirius away from Harry—and, I’ve spoken to this before, Sirius is too much of a miracle character—too smart, too loyal, too loving to support the story that the author wanted to tell.) Sirius, if he had stayed, would have been the emotional support that Harry needed. So if Sirius holds Harry, what if Harry doesn’t let go? What if Sirius himself can’t let go? A handshake will have to do.

So Sirius leaves Harry with that bizarre handshake. That Sirius leaves at all damages their relationship—it could have been repaired with time (if they’d been allowed time), but this moment makes Harry realize that he cannot rely on anyone, not even Sirius. This leaves Harry to be isolated in OotP, and it leaves him to feel like he cannot trust anyone. I’m not blaming Sirius for leaving, but I believe this action causes a rift between them that carries into the next book.

My point is, I HATE that they don’t touch but it is very important that they don’t, at least when it comes to the story that the author wanted to tell. I think it was the right move when we look at the story as a whole. Do I like it? NO! But it’s interesting, and it DOES feel right for them. Is it devastating? Yes!!!!!!!

TL;DR: I don’t think either interpretation is necessarily better than the other, but they both have their purpose. Both are effective!

Touch is…huge in HP. Consider Voldemort’s “I can touch him now” and causing Harry pain. Touch is a privilege, and to be touched without permission is a violation. Harry kills someone by touching them. He is only touched by his family when Dudley beats him up or he gets shoved in his cupboard.

Weirdly, one of my absolutely favorite moments when Sirius and Harry touch is in PoA when the Dementors are closing in on Sirius, Harry, and Hermione, and Harry, as he’s about to faint, reaches out to grab an unconscious Sirius by the arm, thinking something along the lines of “the dementors weren’t going to take him” and such. And this is about two seconds after Harry has accepted that Sirius is telling the truth! Harry physically tethers Sirius to him—this touch-starved teen reaches out to this man who is now everything to him, who is now his only real family, willing to risk death (or worse) to keep it. BUT THEY JUST MET!!!!! Devastating!!!

Also…another thought: the first time Sirius and Harry touch is the first time Sirius has been touched as a human in twelve years. And Harry is beating the absolute shit out of him…and then Sirius nearly strangles him…

Also, also, not to like…self-promote, but if you want some Sirius & Harry family feelings and a wee bit of affectionate touching, I wrote a one-shot where they talk about their feelings in OotP.

Anyway, this got longer than I thought. Thank you for the prompt!!

[johnslittlespoon]

leaving bikeriders anon here again i’m going crazy over the back and forth constant neither of them saying anything out of nervousness of it all like of COURSE it would take them forever to actually get together there would have to be an honest to god crisis a completely off-kilter situation for them to get together they’re so bad at communicating. also have not been able to get the thought of them running into each other by chance at a bar across town and even though bucky showed up with people he just ends up at a table in the corner with gale the whole night. gale jokingly asks if john is even old enough to drink which turns into a whole thing where john suddenly has to prove to gale that he CAN drink and he IS old enough and is Definitely Worthy of gale’s attention. anyways!

HIII i'm still ON one about this too dw

exactly my goddd the back and forth would be physically painful to write/read honestly lol the flirtation and the sexual tension!!

ur so right smth absolutely wild would have to happen, or one of them would have to slip up, or there'd have to be an argument where feelings are blurted out in anger/hurt, orrrr, in relation to your idea at the end which i'm going clinically insane over bee tee dubs:

john is so offended by the insinuation that he's too young to drink even if gale's joking, made worse probably by gale throwing in a kid– "you old enough to be in here, kid?" with the corner of his mouth quirking up a bit.

john puffs his chest out and tries not to let the one beer he's had slur his words, goes "'course i am" all huffy, rolls his eyes, reaches for gale's full shot glass while holding determined eye contact and tips it back without a second thought, really has to clench his fist in his lap for a second when it threatens to come right back up, not used to anything quite so harsh.

it's not gale's intention to egg him on like that, john's just bristly, a messy college kid used to bulldozing his way through life, never turning down a bet or challenge, has maybe been watching a pretty girl hang off gale's other side on top of everything and wants to prove that he can be exciting and mature too.

john ends up drinking too much, taking whatever shots the others in gale's group pass him for their entertainment until gale shuts the next person who tries down with a pointed glare, slides the shot glass away before john can reach for it, says "alright, we're cutting you off" when john whines out a complaint, leaning heavily against gale's side.

the night ends with gale helping john out of the bar because john's friends leave long before he does. he gets john out to the parking lot out front, gets him situated on the back of his motorcycle, keeps a hand on his shoulder and asks where home is, and john's like, "oh, no, can't go home like this buck, dad'll gimme a shiner" and gale's jaw clenches hard, but it's not the time to get angry.

he's at a loss, because he's not gonna bring john home to an environment he's had a faint suspicion isn't the greatest since they met (however that might have been, that's shit for me to plot out later lol) but bringing him to his house seems like a bad idea, but he's also not sure what to do and john's friends don't seem the greatest to just leave him with a borderline stranger. so what else is there to do?

"am i gonna have to tie you to me, or are you gonna hold on tight?" he asks as he climbs on the bike in front of john, and john giggles out a "y'can tie me to wh'tever y'want," filter completely gone from how sloshed he is, and gale looks to the sky and says a silent prayer because jesus fucking christ. what.

i'm like 99% certain that alcohol would be involved in a feelings confession, probably that night when it slips out from john's lips, so drunk he doesn't even realize it. nothing would happen that night, because gale's trying to be a responsible adult and he wants to make sure john's not just saying shit, but he's also quite forward, so he'd bring it up in the morning after he's brought john a water and some painkillers, and john would go so red and he'd drop his head into his hands and whisper an "oh my god" because he can't believe he's slipped up so bad.

and then yk. feelings–talk ensues. john is so mortified, he wants to die. gale is so enamoured but trying to be realistic about things. etc etc i'll flesh it all out eventually when it's time to start writing it >:)

[kazoologist]

Every Current Formula 1 Driver But I Decided They Were All Bugs

No Thoughts, Head Empty, Only Insects I Enjoyed From My Single Entomology Class Several Years Ago. Sorry to folks from outside the states. Most of these are like. my local critters.

Max Verstappen - Appalachian Jewelwing, Calopteryx angustipennis I have no reasoning behind this one. He just gives me the vibes of a damselfly kinda man.

Sergio Pérez - Synoeca Cyanea, a species of warrior wasp, or just the Synoeca genus again, literally no justification besides he's on the dark blue team and I just really like these wasps. Please read the Synoeca wikipedia page. they are SO cool.

Lewis Hamilton - Violet Carpenter Bee, Xylocopa violacea fashionable! cool lookin bee!

George Russell - Blue Hawker, Aeshna cyanea

Charles Leclerc - Cattle Killer/Cow Killer, Dasymutilla occidentalis (letting my south midwestern hick jump OUT here. most folks call em velvet ants)

Carlos Sainz - Red Admiral, Vanessa atalanta

Lando Norris - Walker's Cicada, Megatibicen pronotalis this is NOT meant to be a drag I actually love these freakishly loud animals but he just gives bright green cicada energy.

Oscar Piastri - Green Carpenter Bee, Xylocopa aerata cop out? yeah. good bee and something that feels correct? yes.

Fernando Alonso - Mourning Cloak, Nymphalis antiopa i love these fuckin bugs. absolute freaks of nature. they live for like a full year and they're always wandering around and getting up to something. plus they're very distinguished.

Lance Stroll - Common Buckeye, Junonia coenia I'm not even gonna elaborate on this one.

Valtteri Bottas - Eastern Cicada Hawk, Sphecius speciosus I just think they're neat!

Zhou Guanyu - Ebony Jewelwing, Calopteryx maculata blatant favoritism here. The ebony jewelwing is perhaps my all time favorite bug from home :) (its also v stylish)

Esteban Ocon - Chinese Mantis, Tenodera sinensis a noble creature that frequently scares the life out of me when i find one outside my window. Why the fuck are you so long. I appreciate u anyway.

Pierre Gasly - European Field Cricket, Gryllus campestris he just *feels* a bit crickety. Idk what to tell u man.

Kevin Magnussen - Halloween Beetle (or in America, the Japanese Lady Bug), Harmonia axyridis the most determined little bastard in the animal kingdom. They WILL get into your apartment through that microscopic sliver in the window.

Nico Hulkenberg - Green June Beetle, Cotinis nitida idk dude he just serves local scarab

Daniel Ricciardo - Black-And-Yellow Mud Dauber, Sceliphron caementarium im sure you are all noticing how much i love wasps by now. i was SO brave not making this a wasp only post. if ur american and a hick (hey girl(gn) hey) you'll know these guys From Constantly Being In Your Car's Inner Workings

Yuki Tsunoda - Bullet Ant, Paraponera clavata tiny but mighty!!!!! (short king solidarity)

Alex Albon - Great Black Wasp, Sphex pensylvanicus yet more blatant favoritism for my faves. Yes this post is so i can assign the williams boys and zg my fave types of local bugs. Anyway. this is one of the best wasps in the world. if u see her irl please stop for a moment to appreciate her. she's usually a docile species but she is very big and i love her. (good hunter too)

Logan Sargeant - Blue Dasher, Pachydiplax longipennis the ultimate late spring and all of summer insect of america. voted america's sweetheart of every local body of water eight millionth year in a row!!!! one of the best dragonflies in the country and i am serious!!! if u live in north america this summer, find a LAKE, a POND, A RIVER, perhaps even a CREEK!!!!!! A POOL WILL EVEN GET YOU! you'll find these folks. at current you might catch mating flight season!!! anyway. these are crazy good hunters and they're a beautiful little baby blue shade. anyway. logan and the rest of williams should go huntin for these when he gets back to florida. think it would fix em.

[lucabyte]

i am looking at nohats au 👀 please share more

So! NoHats! I'm going to grab you and use this to ramble. A Lot.

The NoHats AU is @samhainian's it's just that I'm the strange little freak who takes the words said unto me and executes on them. But I can still do a little explainer on what our overall thoughts and vibes are. (And, that we are in fact propping up a little box with some cheese under it here. 🪤 Please (PLEASE) feel free to pick up what we're putting down.)

We're far from the only ones exploring a "what if siffrin fucking died" AU, though the main difference with NoHats is the placement of the death in the timeline. Instead of being 'Mal Du Pays Wins' or 'Act 6 encounter goes horribly wrong', the death is… Just after the (literal) falling action.

(This placement is because Sam is a comic book fan who thus has become used to characters being ripped away at the cruelest times by shitty writers. THANK FUCKING GOD adrienne is not that and isat is delightful yippieee, but, back on topic.)

Giving the party the full understanding of What Happened that you get by putting the death after black hole siffrin, but before the A6 encounter leaves an interesting gap to be filled. See, making Siffrin's death very much not Loop's fault means that… this once again reads (when not read as simply a tragedy...) as the universe doing what it sees fit to fulfull Loop's wish… Thus making Siffrin's death Loop's fault again, but only in their eyes. And only in a way they could express if they were honest about who they were…

And this is where having had excuse to waffle about my general Postcanon Loop thoughts the other day comes in handy, because Sam and I have that as our canon-compliant reading to begin with, NoHats plays off of a lot of the same readings of Loop's character. Namely: Uh Oh Somebody's Lying By Fucking Omission Again. (BECAUSE TO BE FAIR THIS TIME… HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU HANDLE THAT?)

Now, neither Sam nor I are fanfic writers, so this has been a little bit trapped in our heads and DMs (and my unfinished art but,)

But our thoughts on how NoHats like… Goes.

Siffrin's death is peaceful, but that does not mean the aftermath of it is. I can't imagine the party takes it well, especially after understanding the circumstances of the Loops. (And, of note, in A5 where nobody had the discussion on what to do with each other's bodies should something happen…) But I'd imagine it traumabonds them somewhat (understatement of the century) and now knowing how the rest of the party feels, they resolve to travel together for the forseeable future.

The party track down Loop to deliver the terrible news, since they were clearly Siffrin's friend too, and invite Loop along to travel at least long enough to (let them grieve) get the burial over with. Loop, here, can be helpful in knowing what Siffrin would've wanted where the party would be at a loss. Loop, I think, takes a bit of a lead on the funerary aspects of it all, because, um. (Performing rites on your own body, huh?)

Then, as things are after a death, life just… Kind of has to continue on as normal. The party travel, pick up Nille, and get to know Loop as this mysterious new person. Maybe in this situation they might stay in Bambouche for a while to give Bonnie more stability since. They are probably taking it the worst. It would've come out of absolutely nowhere for everyone in the party obviously but god, for a kid? For A Kid?

It should be stated NoHats is not intended to be grimdark, just y'know. An exploration of grief. This is also why it's got a bit of a lopsided focus on Bonnie vs the rest of the party because hhrrhghghhghghhhghhghhh <- incoherent

Now, a crossroads.

How does the party discover Loop to be Siffrin? How long does it take. How much have the party embraced them as part of the family (especially with something as intense to bond over as this)?

There's the Odile option. Have her put it together and have to bring it up somehow. This could also be done by Isabeau, perhaps. He's smart. (which. God. If anything's the real Isabeau Torment Nexus it's this)

Then there's the other option batted around by Sam and I. The: The Universe Dislikes Duplicates option.

The items in the house that fzzt away when inspected. The Universe doesn't like there to be two of something, at least not when they're acknowledged. But one of something is just fine…?

Which is to say. I'm not a personal proponent of 'Loop getting their body back'. EXCEPT …… except this one time.

There's only one Siffrin now, so they don't need to be obfuscated to exist.

Consider, if you will. Loop swallowing their guilt for long enough to be comfortable. Falling back into old habits. Without another Siffrin around to compete for the niche of, they actually begin to act like Siffrin again. Not intentionally, it's just… The party is as welcoming as they've always been. And the party swears they keep catching glimpses of a face under all the light.

Then, one day, while still not fully human again, the resemblence becomes undeniable. Loop having not even noticed until everyone looks at them like they've seen a ghost.

Has it been months? How long have they kept up this lie? Is it even a lie, to them? They're Loop. But they were, once, Siffrin.

Even after explaining it, does that make it better or worse?

Bonnie cuts through the betrayed, struck-nerve reactions with a sobering "I missed you."

… Anyway !

Yeah so that's the vibe for NoHats. As for LoopLoops? That's more nebulous. I think it can go anywhere really in the NoHats timeline. I err personally toward the "Loop continuously replays the last 10 minutes before Siffrin's death almost immediately after they find out and have to parkour their ass up the House in the most distressing situation possible to try and get them to hold on, just please hold on." (Remember! Siffrin can remember the contents of Loop's loop backs in the A6 fight!)

But there is the possibility that this happens months, or worse years down the road. One last Loop back. Throw it all away for the chance to just get that one thing you didn't know you even wanted but now know you NEED.

Misc:

Okay miscellaneous time.

This is where I admit that I have a bunch of unfinished NoHats art that I haven't gotten around to yet because I feel like a right tool being so obviously Loop-Centric with my fancontent (I AM . . I REALISE I AM NOT DOING MUCH TO BEAT THE ALLEGATIONS.) So like if people want to see that please say because euaghghghhfh <- the nervous.

this is like the most fucked up place to do isaloop fr. anyway.

one of Sam's mid-game observations that I'm just going to share for no particular reason is that Bonnie's hair shares a bunch of shapes with Siffrin's. The flick up at the top, the 3 pronged shape of the fringe… just something to think about.

Without 2 Siffrins around to compare each other to it'd likely be a lot harder to notice Loop's similarities. Doesn't mean that those similarities don't sting more in this context though.

If you do NoHats without LoopLoops. The concept of this all fading into memory years down the line while they just have slightly-glowy but otherwise regular Siffrin hanging out is fucked up to think about. Just like real grief. Augh

6. a peek into the original dms as a treat from us

[everybodyshusband]

ditching chores/sneaking kisses

mushy may ; day twenty one !! (approx 3.6k words)

read under the cut or on ao3 :)

this was meant to be romantic and it just turned very, very silly jdsfhd

————— 1 —————

The first thing Rain saw when he appeared in the summoning circle was a giant. Well, okay after he’d had a few seconds to fully take him all in he was pretty sure he was just an exceptionally tall earth ghoul, but giant worked well for the moment. When the noise, smoke and chaos calmed down, slithering back through the circle and into the ether of the pits, Rain tried to stand and take stock of his surroundings. Just as he managed to haul himself up into a standing position, something in his leg buckled but before he could hit the ground he found himself caught up in a strong pair of arms.

“Careful, kid. Don’t want you injuring yourself after only being here five seconds.”

Rain rolled his eyes. “Just because you’re a giant, doesn’t mean everyone around you is a kid, earthy.”

“Oh, he’s feisty!” Someone else’s voice rang out in the small stone room; a damp looking multi ghoul wrapped in an oversized grey blanket. He must be a new summon as well. “I think I’m going to like him.” His grin was sharp and infectious, Rain smiled back. Had he already made a friend?

The earth ghoul chuckled at their exchange. “My name’s Mountain. Do you have one?”

Rain tore his eyes away from the multi to pay attention to Mountain. “Uh huh,” he nodded. “Rain.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rain,” yet another voice spoke, but this one’s owner wasn’t a ghoul. His face was painted in intentional strokes of black and white, the markings around his eyes and cheeks clearly meant to resemble a skull and he was dressed entirely in liturgical vestments, his mitre bearing the mark of the Ghost Project. No way. Rain had heard whispers of a project of this nature in the Pit, nothing proven, nothing concrete; a division of the Old One’s church Up Top spreading His word through song all over the world. He hadn’t believed it at the time, it had all sounded too far fetched but… here it was.

“Papa Emeritus?”

The man—although he was a bit more than that if the rumours were true, wasn’t he—looked taken aback. “You know who I am?”

“Of course I do?” Rain was shocked that he wasn’t aware of his own fame. “In the Pit, there’s been rumours of what you’ve been doing for what feels like forever.”

Papa tutted. “Interesting… This is what Swiss told me earlier.” At Rain’s questioning head tilt he apologised. “Ah, of course! Sorry, that’s Swiss there.” He pointed to the newly summoned multi ghoul. Swiss poked a hand out of his blanket and waves, still grinning. “He was summoned only a few minutes before you were.” He continued pointing out and naming all of the ghouls in the room, there are so many more than Rain originally thought he saw, too caught up in being pulled up to a different world, he supposed.

After explaining the basics to Rain—introducing him to his new pack, laying out the exact purpose of his summoning, what his role will be if he chooses to accept it—Papa smiled and pat him on the back. “I think that’s more than enough information for now though, hmm? Mountain, how about you take Rain to get settled in and Aether, you can do the same for Swiss?”

“Sounds perfect, Papa,” Mountain smiled, squeezing Rain from where his arm is still wrapped around his shoulder; Rain was back on his feet now, but Mountain never let him go properly, presumably still worried he wouldn’t remain steady on his feet once he’d started to walk around the room.

“C’mon, Rain.” He began to wrap a blanket identical to Swiss’ around Rain’s shoulders. It was much warmer than it looked. “I’ll show you around the den and the grounds if you’re feeling up to it.”

Rain nodded. “That sounds nice, thanks, Mountain.”

Mountain smiled and Rain had just enough time to notice that one of his front teeth had a tiny chip in it. He squeezed his arm around Rain just hard enough to pull him closer to the earth ghoul and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head. Rain blushed “Cool! Alright, we’ve got a lot to cover. We should head off now before it gets too late.”

————— 2 —————

It had been a few weeks since Rain had been summoned now and he could happily say he was settling into life at the Ministry well. He was learning the parts for his music with Dew’s help and everyone said he and Swiss—who was taking his singing and guitar lessons from Dew, Aether and Papa— were progressing nicely. He wasn’t even the newest summon anymore! Two air ghoulettes had been summoned about a week after he and Swiss and they seemed to be adjusting well too. The four of them—Rain, Swiss, Cirrus and Cumulus—had become a group of their own of sorts. It wasn’t as if they didn’t spend time with the others, of course they did, but it was nice that the four of them were able to bond over being fresh to Earth and not understanding certain human customs that had evolved since the last time they’d all been Up Top when they were human.

He’d been settling into his chores now as well. His favourite, without a doubt, was helping Mountain in the greenhouses and gardens on the Abbey’s grounds. All he had to do was water the plants and regulate the humidity, but he was able to write off a whole day just to sit and talk with Mountain while he worked. Occasionally he’d lend a hand, but more often than not, Mountain insisted that Rain need not do anything but sit there and be good company for him.

His favourite day by far had been when he’d been helping the earth ghoul to weed and mulch his flower beds. The two of them had become covered in soil, roots and mulching hay and had ended the day by running off to the lake to clean themselves off, whooping with laughter the entire time. Before they’d run off to the lake however, Mountain had reached out a hand to brush a patch of dirt off of Rain’s cheek, no doubt leaving an equally dirty smudge behind in his wake but Rain didn’t mind. Especially when what had followed the brushing off was a quick, shy peck of Mountain’s lips on his cheek. The earth ghoul had come close enough for Rain to appreciate the light dusting of freckles covering his face from all his days working in the gardens, particularly concentrated on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Rain wanted to christen every single one with a kiss as gentle as the one Mountain had just given his cheek but before he could do so, the earth ghoul had pulled back and with a grin.

“Race you to the lake, raindrop,” he’d called. “Last one there is on dinner duty for a week!”

————— 3 —————

The few weeks after that had passed in a whirlwind of activity. Rain was busy every single day. Between taking on a few extra duties for a week or two as a favour for Zephyr after they’d been sequestered away to the infirmary and practising all the new songs he’d learnt on his bass at every single spare moment, he was running on empty. It was no surprise to anyone but Rain when he got sick.

“You were exhausted, waterlily,” Mountain explained gently as he stirred the bowl of soup he’d brought Rain to help cool it down. “You need to give your body and your mind space to relax from all the stress you’re putting yourself under. Open up?”

“I can feed myself, Mount,” Rain protested, keeping his mouth firmly closed.

“I know you can. But I want to help, so open.”

Rain rolled his eyes playfully as he opened his mouth for Mountain to spoon the soup into, holding back a sigh of pleasure as the warm soup soothed his scratchy throat.

“You need to find something you can do that lets you relax and release the stress of the day off of your shoulders,” Mountain explained, quickly putting a finger over Rain’s lips when he opened his mouth to protest. “Eat with your mouth closed, love,” he teased. Rain didn’t like to admit the butterflies that hearing the pet name in Mountain’s voice gave him, but it felt nice. “I know you have your bass, but at the moment it’s also stressing you out. It’s understandable, of course with the tour coming up soon, you want to be the best you can be before we head off.” Curse Mountain for always somehow knowing what Rain was going to say. “But at the moment it’s only going to make you worse if you’re stressing yourself out enough that you’re getting sick and unable to practise.”

Rain opened his mouth to protest again but this time, instead of telling him to be quiet, Mountain shut him up by putting another spoon of soup in his mouth, that bastard.

“Zephyr’s back from the infirmary soon though,” he mused. “So hopefully you’ll have less work to stress you out, but,” he continued. “If Zephyr’s still not up to doing everything when you’re better, you will ask someone to help you. A load meant for two people on top of practising for the tour isn’t sustainable or healthy for you, Rain. Can you promise me that?”

Rain nodded and quickly swallowed his mouthful of soup. “I promise, Mount. And… thank you for taking care of me.”

“Always,” Mountain smiled. “Are you sure you can manage feeding yourself the soup? I’m happy to stay if you need help,” he teased.

“I think I’ll be fine, thanks,” Rain grinned. You spooned those few mouthfuls perfectly though.”

Mountain laughed. “Good to know my skills aren’t going unappreciated.” He leant down and pressed a soft kiss to Rain’s forehead. His lips were surprisingly cool against Rain’s boiling head. “Call me if you need me for anything, alright? Any time of day and I’ll come running to help.” He got up off the side of Rain’s bed and flicked his bedside lamp on, flicking the overhead light off on his way to the door. Rain hadn’t even realised how the harsh light had been affecting him until Mountain turned it off. “Get well soon, Rainy,” he smiled, closing the door on his way out.

————— 4 —————

A few days after Rain recovered from his illness, he found himself back in the greenhouses, chatting the afternoon away with Mountain. Despite his offers to help, Mountain insisted that Rain just relax and not worry.

“I asked Mist to come in this morning and help with the humidity,” he explained. “You’ve met her, right? Oh, good! Either way, it’s all sorted, Rainy. Don’t worry about anything other than giving yourself time to rest.”

Rain had just nodded, secretly pleased for this time that he could spend with Mountain, free from chores and practice and responsibilities. It was autumn now and the leaves around the Ministry were turning every possible hue of orange, yellow and red. As well as this—and arguably more exciting in Rain’s eyes—Mountain’s army of caterpillars were beginning to emerge from their chrysalides as butterflies and flutter around the greenhouses. More than once, Rain had become somewhat of a butterfly magnet, with many of them landing on him after he’d sat still for a long enough period of time.

“Have you ever heard of butterfly kisses?”

Mountain’s voice was enough to startle both Rain and the butterfly that had found a perch on his finger. “Butterfly huh?” Was all the water ghoul could manage as he caught his breath from the unexpected fright.

“Butterfly kisses,” Mountain repeated. “They’re called that because it’s supposed to feel like butterfly wings caressing your skin.”

Rain tilted his head. The earth ghoul was so much less subtle than he thought himself to be. “I don’t think I get it,” he said, knowing full well the smirk on his face gave away that he understood exactly what Mountain meant. “Can you show me?”

Mountain grinned and nodded. “Give me your arm?” Rain obliged. “All I do is bring your arm up to my face,” he explained as he mimicked his words. “Then I get my eyes really close and blink, like that.”

Rain squirmed. “Ah, no, that tickles, Mount!”

The earth ghoul pouted exaggeratedly. “Do you think it will tickle on your face?”

Rain almost snorted. “You’re really not coming across as innocent as you wish you were, Mount,” he laughed. “But sure, go ahead, butterfly boy. Kiss me.”

Mountain obliged, moving even closer to the water ghoul, letting his breath ghost over his cheeks before fluttering his eyelashes over the soft skin there. His breath was warm but it soothed the tickle of his eyelashes enough that Rain didn’t have to squirm away. Although he’s not sure that he would have moved anyway, even if it had rendered him to a tickle-avoidant mess. He treasures his time with Mountain too much.

————— 5 —————

The night before the band goes away on tour is always cause for a big celebration, Mountain told him. This year, the Ministry is hosting a grand ball complete with fancy clothes—which is apparently just another way to say formal clothes, not fancy dress like Rain had hoped—and formal dances. The ghouls and Papa are all attending together and Mountain had already promised to stay with Rain for most of the night, not that Rain needed babysitting, but Sathanas, if he had to talk to an enormous room full of people for hours on end then he needed someone with him, if only to make sure he didn’t rip someone’s throat out if they tried to engage in yet another round of small talk with him.

It’s safe to say that Rain had… well, perhaps blossomed is the right word, in the few months since he’d been summoned. He was definitely more comfortable in telling people to fuck off before he killed them, at least. After a few months of trying to play the role of a human, he was finally growing more comfortable in presenting himself as the demonic hell beast he was.

A sudden hand on his shoulder interrupted his musings and made him jump.

“Sorry, raincloud,” Mountain soothed. “It’s just me.”

“How goeth the search for drinks, my dear sir?” Rain joked, recalling Dew’s complaints that these events always felt stuffy and overly formal, like those renaissance movies he pretends to hate.

“Alas, loyal comrade,” Mountain replied, playing along. “Lady Cumulus snatched them from mine own hand whilst I was returning to you with my spoils.” He got down on one knee and threw his hands up in the air. “How will you ever forgive me?”

Rain threw his head back laughing. “I’m sure I’ll survive, Mount. Now get up off the floor, you’re going to ruin your pants and Aether’s going to yell at you if he has to sew on another knee patch for you.”

“I’ll just ask Cirrus then,” Mountain retorted, obeying Rain all the same. “I’m still in her good books.”

“Nope. I think they’re conspiring against you. Remember last time you asked her to mend something she never gave it back?” He nudged the earth ghoul with his shoulder. “I’m pretty sure the two of them are convinced that if they slowly steal your clothes over time, eventually you’ll give up on wearing them altogether.”

“I– What?” Mountain spluttered. “If they want to see me naked they could just ask.”

“Yeah but they’re freaky,” Rain stage whispered. “They wanna make it happen…”

Mountain blushed, no doubt thinking of all the ways he could make it happen more quickly. Luckily for his sake, music soon began to trickle through the mingling crowds, inviting them all to begin dancing. How the Ministry got the speaker system to work so well, Rain would never know. Maybe they had hundreds hidden all throughout the ballroom?

His train of thought was interrupted by Mountain returning to their earlier game of jest, bowing low and holding out his hand. “Lord Rain of the-bedroom-right-down-the-hallway-from-me.” Rain couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up inside him from that. “May I please have this dance?”

He placed his hand in Mountain’s. “You may, Lord Mountain,” he smiled, thrilled when the earth ghoul bent down even further to kiss the back of his hand, stomach fluttering when he refused to break eye contact until his lips broke contact with Rain’s hand. “Come,” he announced, shifting his grip on Mountain’s hand to be able to hold it more normally. “Let us dance.”

————— + 1 —————

The tour bus is alive with energy. They’re only a few hours into their journey but all of them are buzzing with a mixture of nerves and excitement, even if all they’re doing is chatting amongst themselves quietly.

Swiss’ legs are currently thrown over Rain’s lap, the two of them gossiping quietly about their various hookups since being summoned. Rain is ninety percent sure Cumulus is listening in on their conversation but he doesn’t mind, she was the one who taught him how to do that thing with his tongue he was just explaining to Swiss.

“So…” Swiss leans in close and glances around furtively. The multi ghoul can never resist an opportunity for some dramatic flair. “When did you and Mountain hookup?”

“Me and Mount?” Rain asks, surprised. “We haven’t.”

Swiss sighs. “You don’t have to lie to me, Rainy, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I was just telling you all the ways Dew made me cry for him, I think we’re past the point of shame, rainbow.”

“I’m telling you the truth! We haven’t…”

“Oh, but you want to.” It’s not a question, it doesn’t need to be one.

“Of course I do, have you fucking seen him?”

“Have you fucking seen his dick?” Swiss leans in close and uses his hands to measure an obscene length. There’s no way he’s telling the truth. “Fucking huge, Rainy, it’s insane.”

Rain whines. “Don’t tease me, Swiss, fuck.”

“Fine, fine,” Swiss relents. “But you’ve at least kissed right? I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, there’s no way that nothing’s happened between you.”

“I mean… kind of?” Rain replies. “We’ve kissed but not… y’know, on the lips or anything?”

Swiss’ eyes feel like they’re boring a hole into his soul. When he speaks, his voice is deadpan. “Are you fucking shitting me, Rainy.”

“No?”

Swiss looks like he’s about to scream.

Aether’s voice calls out from his game of cards with Dew. “Swiss, are you alright back there?”

“No, I’m dying, Aeth,” Swiss yells back at the same time as Rain says: “He’s fine, he’s just being a dramatic prick.”

“What’s all this about a dramatic prick?” Mountain grins as he takes a seat next to Rain.

“Mountain!” Swiss says, moving forward fast as lightning to grab the earth ghoul by the collar of his shirt. “Why the fuck haven’t you kissed Rain yet, it’s killing me, Mount. You hear me?” He shakes Mountain back and forth violently. “Kill. Ing. me.”

“I’ve kissed him,” Mountain says simply, miraculously unperturbed by the seemingly wild multi ghoul shaking him around.

Swiss pulls him even closer before releasing him. “Show me.”

Mountain sighs and looks over at Rain for permission but he’s smiling and his smile is always so infectious that Rain can’t help mimic it the second he sees it pulling at the earth ghoul’s lips.

“I’ve kissed him here,” Mountain starts, kissing the top of Rain’s head. “And here, and here,” he continues, brushing gentle kisses over Rain’s cheek and forehead in mimicry of those events that feel like they happened a lifetime ago. “Then I gave him butterfly kisses all over his face.” Rain scrunches up his eyes to combat the gentle tickling sensation that Mountain’s eyelashes are spreading across his face. “And last night I kissed his hand, like this.” This time it’s Rain who offers the hand out first, Mountain taking gladly and holding eye contact the entire time, exactly like the previous night. “But you’re right, Swiss. There is one spot I’ve missed.” He takes Rain’s face in his hands, cradling it gently in his hands. Mountain barely has to open his mouth to ask before Rain is nodding vigorously and surging forward to connect their lips together with an elated sigh.

It doesn’t take much for Mountain to deepen the kiss and pull Rain onto his lap and as soon as he does, Swiss is whooping and running up and down the length of the bus singing praises. Rain leans back to take a breather just in time to see Dew yank Swiss down to sit with him and Aether, telling him to get a hold on himself. Rain doesn’t miss the way Dew smirks when Aether presses a wad of cash into his hand, sighing in defeat.

“I think they were betting on us,” he whispers against Mountain’s lips, resting their foreheads together as they both take a breather.

“Oh, they definitely were,” the earth ghoul confirms. “I heard Cumulus and Dew negotiating terms weeks ago. Droplet may have just won that money from Aether but he’s going to have to give it all to Lus now because we kissed on the bus, not just before we left the Abbey.”

Rain laughs in disbelief. “You sly bastard,” he huffs out. “Did you wait to kiss me just so Dew wouldn’t win the bet?”

“Yep,” Mountain admits proudly. “What?” He asks when he sees Rain shaking his head and laughing. “You didn’t expect me to let Lus lose, did you?”

“Of course not, Mount,” Rain assures him. “I’m far too scared of her.”

Mountain hums in agreement. “She’s fucking terrifying, I do not need to be on her bad side. Forgive me?”

“Hmm,” Rain teases. “I’m not sure… Kiss me again and we’ll see?”

[whateverisbeautiful]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I discovered your top 30 Richonne list a few days ago and I've been down the meta rabbit hole you've so wonderfully crafted this entire week so far. I've cried and smiled so much reading them. Each post is just so beautiful.

I was reading one of your Reveling in Richonne posts this morning for episode 10 x 04 where Michonne talked with Ezekiel about how much she still misses Rick and loves him so much and that she misses his walk and now I can't get over it. Now I'm thinking about all those times when she looked at Rick walking towards or away from her pre- and post-canon where she would be thinking the man I'm crushing on, then eventually the man I love is so sexy. Is there any chance you can do a post speculating those moments where they are both checking each out specifically regarding Michonne checking out Rick's walk?

Also I cant wait for you to do a Reveling in Richonne continuation based on TOWL 👀? So excited! Lastly I just need you to know that my Richonne withdrawals have been pretty bad now that TOWL has concluded. So discovering your blog and your metas have been giving me my whole entire life and I just want to say thank you and that I really appreciate all the thought and beauty you put into your posts. You're amazing!!!! 👏🏽 👏🏽 🤩 💖

Hi @rct85 ! I'm so encouraged by your message, thank you so much. 🥰 I love that this richonne reveling rabbit hole could help with the richonne withdrawal. I’m feeling it too and really miss seeing them on screen each week. 🥲 Thank goodness we were spoiled with years of richonne content that I’ve just been playing on a loop in my head. The second I'm finally able, I'm looking forward to going all out and writing about every golden moment from TOWL. The towl thoughts and observations are abundant lol.

And I really like that thought of highlighting the times that Michonne was looking at Rick and thinking this man I'm crushing on and later in love with is so sexy. I can definitely speculate on those moments and I've placed my extra self’s speculation right below. 😊⬇

I focused on Michonne specifically for this one because if I were to make a list of times Rick was looking at Michonne and thinking this woman I'm crushing on/in love with is so sexy it would be wildly long because it's every single moment he and Michonne are on screen together. Like truly from TWD 3.06 at the fence to the TOWL 1.06 finale Rick looks like he's thinking that. 😋 While Michonne can be a little more subtle than Slick Rick, she's still head over heels for her husband and I think I pinpointed some clear moments where she was noting how fine her man is and appreciating that walk. 😏 Thanks again for reading my posts and for this kind message! 💗

Moments Michonne Was Checking Out Her Man’s Walk/Thinking Rick Is Fine 😋

Exhibit A:

It started real early if you ask me. 😌 At this point our Michonne had been abandoned by her only friend, unsuccessfully gaslit by the governor, chased down and shot by Merle, and passed out killing walkers at the prison fence. She’d been put through a whole lot in mind and body…but her eyes clearly still work just fine as she seems to be taking in this handsome stranger in front of her.

And sis is an observant person so I wouldn’t at all be surprised if she had a conscious thought that this man from the prison is attractive, even here in their first exchange. Thinking about how she described Maggie and the Governor based on appearances in this ep, I’d bet that had Michonne had to describe Rick this early, some type of good-looking adjective would‘ve been used.

(*Also the footnote for all of these bits of evidence is that Rick is absolutely captivated by her in each of these moments too 💯)

Exhibit B:

Clear is where that Richonne attraction was loud and on display from both of them. We don’t see Rick walk away in this scene at the end of the ep but uh Michonne does. 😊 And of course she likes what she sees with that lingering look and smile she gives. And all that car key shuffling - it’s giving Rick is pretty eager but maybe she is too 🤭

Exhibit C & D:

I put these two moments side by side because I love how similar they are in the way Rick walks up to her and the way Michonne smiles at him. To think one scene is during their early s4 crush era and the other is during their s7 honeymoon ep, just goes to show these two have been smitten a long long time and always will be. In both moments I know Michonne loves seeing his walk just like Rick loves seeing her smile.

Exhibit E:

As she observes Rick here, I think Michonne has a lot of thoughts going through her head, which naturally are deeper than just checking him out. On a larger level, she’s realizing that Rick has unique qualities that she loves and respects and recognizes in her own self. She saw firsthand the way Rick walks the walk when it comes to protecting his family and she’s fallen in love with him. But I think an appreciation for his literal walk can be included in those thoughts during this scene as she starts to slowly become more cognizant that she sees Rick as a lot more than just a friend.

Exhibit F (Pt. 1 & Pt. 2):

I may have forgot if this was a list of Michonne’s thoughts or mine with exhibit f lol. But I’m just gonna venture to say that she and I shared the same appreciation for Rick’s walk in that barn. It’s Season 5 Rick - of course Michonne was feeling a type of way about him. And she might not have agreed with him punching Aaron but I know she wasn’t mad at that walk.

Exhibit G:

Seeing Rick’s clean-shaven face for the first time was Michonne’s most blatant display of attraction towards him pre-canon and she was definitely noting how fine he is. And from my posts on the scene, it’s no secret how much I love this moment and it’s no secret how much these two were into each other. I also just added a later s5 moment of Rick seeing Michonne in the constable windbreaker for the first time because it gives a similar energy. It’s cute how Rick and Michonne both have such obvious attraction and intrigued reactions to seeing each other in ways they haven’t seen each other before.

(That’s also why I thought it was so funny and doomed that their plan was to pretend like they don’t know each other at the CRM because Richonne hasn’t been able to mask their blazing attraction to each other since season 3)

Exhibit H:

This is such a sweet moment and I always adore seeing the slightly bashful way Michonne can’t help but stare at her man and smile after their first night together. And the way Rick can sense her looking at him and then smiles and reaches for her. It gives me life. This had to make this list because I’m pretty sure “the man I love is so sexy” is one of the direct quotes from Michonne’s mind in this scene.

Exhibit I:

Even when injured Rick’s walk is hot and Michonne knows it. 😋 The scene above and a couple more in this episode were clear signs of Michonne admiring her man inside and out. They were both so cute and couply and in love in this ep and I’ll never get over it.

In The Ones Who Live…

Each of these towl moments deserves dissertations so I’ll wait to elaborate because dissertations are coming later on. But I still had to include them on this list because they’re prime examples of Michonne loving Rick’s walk and/or loving how sexy her husband is - with the last one being the pinnacle 😍

Exhibit J:

Exhibit K:

Exhibit L:

Exhibit M:

Exhibit NOPQRSTUVWXY&Z:

[apollosfavkiddo]

⛧° you promised you’d come back

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

content: jason grace x pluto!fem!reader blurb

warnings: angst, not a happy ending, interrupted friends to lovers, death of character, really short.

a/n: i know, i know, i have to post the leo fic first. whatever?? i wrote this late night in the hospital in my phone and i cried, so you’re gonna read it and cry too. this one doesn’t even have wc or song cause i literally left it just like i wrote. shits really short. good luck 🫡

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

You didn’t have any news on how the damn quest was going.

No Iris message. No letter. Absolutely no indication that your best friend was still alive. lt was a mix of emotions together, but especially fear.

Fear that maybe he wasn’t alive anymore. Maybe he had finally succumbed to one of those damned quests that your parents put you through, because somehow, they can’t do it on their owns.

But you had to cling to the small light of hope that was alive and that he was okay. After all, he promised you he’d come back.

“Of course i’ll come back, y/n/n. I always do.”

And maybe when you do came back, you thought, i’m finally be able to tell you how much i love you.

But all that hope was completely and totally crushed down the moment that Nico came to your apartment, along with Lester, Meg and Piper.

All of them had a dark and intense gaze, but especially Nico.

You obviously knew about the growing friendship that Jason had with the younger boy. Gods, Jason even talked about him like an older brother talks about his baby sibling.

And that’s when you knew. That’s when it hit you, that’s you’d never see Jason again.

“Y/n… can i come in?” Nico asked, his voice cracked. He instantly cleared his throat and stand up straight, swallowing a lump. “I mean- we. Can we come in?”

You just nodded, the tears already welling up in your eyes.

“Hm… Im really sorry to say this, Y/n, but… Jason didn’t make it. Caligula, he-“ Apollo - Jason’s half brother, cause nothing could be better - said, but you interrupted him with a raise of your hand.

“It’s okay. You didn’t have to come all the way here to talk to me about this. You have a quest to continue, i get it. You can go now.” You said, your voice trying to sound firm and certain.

“Y/n, are you-“ Piper said, reaching out a hand to you.

“Yes.” You said, taking a step back away from her. You and Piper never had the best relationship, and you just thought that she was the last person you’d want around in a moment like this - the girl who first killed Jason. “I’m fine. Really.”

You tried to sound reassuring, but Nico quickly caught in your facade. He cleared his throat again and looked back at the trio behind him. “It’s fine.” He said, and they finally backed off.

Meg was the only one who didn’t. She achtualmy took a step forward and pulled you in to a hug. She was a few inches shorter than you, so it was hard for her, but the hug was very appreciated. You quickly reciprocated, and she finally pulled away. She had puffy eyes and a pout on her lips.

“I’m sorry about him. I know you were close.” She said in a whisper, only to both of you hear, and you smiled. She was sweet. You nodded and whispered back a small ‘thank you’. And then, they finally left.

When you closed the door, you immediately broke into sobs. Your brother was quick to cradle you into his arms, and you just sobbed.

Not that far after, you felt his body also shaking. You didn’t think you ever saw Nico cry, but this was understandable, at least. He was his best friend. He was the best friend to both of you.

“W-why, Nico? It’s- it’s not fair! He’s- he was too young, he-“ You groaned as you sobbed into Nico’s old jacked, damping it completely. Bit you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, not when that happened.

He nodded, caressing your back.

He was gone. Jason was gone. Your Jason. Your best friend. The man you were in love with. The person that you grew to admire, looking up to how kind, generous and intelligent he was.

Your favorite person. Your soulmate.

In the end, all that’s left is a broken promise, a crossed heart and a shattered soul.

[mihai-florescu]

Putting a message i sent earlier under a read more, it has some thoughts ive expressed before tho. ES, of course

My thoughts as an EichiP... i view ! and !! as different stories in the way they're approached tbh, what i fell in love with enstars for was the character driven storytelling of one event seen through different perspectives, where you see the antagonist in one perspective become a protagonist in another story and can empathize with the entire cast like this. I fell in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream; i consider it an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. But we still had to continue... and it's not like we didnt get inklings of eichi's dreams of idol utopia, the idol soldier idea goes back to main story 1, but !! loses the charm of the original series through expanding the worldbuilding so much and shifting to a plot driven story that opens 10 cans of worms instead of offering resolutions. There's not really room to breathe if the stakes just keep getting higher and higher...

As for the colonisation plotline, it's been here since the beginning of ES2. The SS arc makes it obvious, but i remember even before, the talks about ES taking over from local businesses, trying to be seen as the standard, it was always the direction ensemble square as an institution would take. But the "antagonist in one story, protagonist in another" approach doesnt work anymore with such subjects. The guys responsible for this are your coworkers you share dorms with. I read the stories but cant empathize anymore, so i've been feeling disconnected from eichi for a while. I see enstars with eichi at its core but i didnt care for his center event, i read it, didnt like the ending, and overall felt off. Eichi becoming the villain of ! to attone for the war kind of loses significance if a year later he is a cartoon villain idol colonialist you can't even sympathize with anymore because of the magnitude of events. However i do think !! has done good things for some characters pushing them further or developing them in a way ! didnt. But for others...

I also have my issues with sci fi elements becoming the norm, even taken metaphorically or as hyperboles, when one of the central themes i love about enstars is humanity. Then again, i am a war era fan that relied on manipulating human desires and perceptions, and the fact that there were no monsters or gods, just humans framed as such, playing on people's fears and beliefs, it's a bit jarring to me to have them introduce AIs forming from escaped comatose brains (im minimizing the switch climax rn, i didnt even hate it as a whole, just this resolution im unhappy with)

It also feels like we've lost some of the meta aspects of the writing i liked, a certain awareness of being characters in a story and there being an audience. But im still struggling to word my thoughts on this matter. I felt it present in main story 2, even if it annoyed me at parts in its obviousness ("good thing we're not protagonists, no one would want to read about us" youre right aira you are not interesting to me. And yet i'll read your story to try and empathize nevertheless. I have other thoughts on aira too, perhaps for another time). I wish we explored a bit more what it means to no longer be the central protagonist, from trickstar's perspective...and brought back the successors topic. But i havent read every ts story yet so i'd be foolish to complain before really making sure i've checked everything. To me ! ended satisfyingly with room left for elaborations and imagination, but i dont feel like !!'s ending is really ending anything at all. Not necessarily bad since it's not like the game is shutting down, but overwhelming worldbuilding wise while underwhelming character wise...

Let's see... im not sure how to end this. Just a bit of a stream of consciousness as a ! fan who still loves enstars despite my critiques. Mainly, well, no one's gonna take away the stories that already exist that i do love and impacted my life greatly. And i do think !! had some really good things too it brought, or at least stories i hold dear too. Change is scary and i don't think it's always for the best, but it's also fun to see where it goes next...

[xsleepinggoodx]

Ｓｔａｙ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｍｅ　ｆｏｒｅｖｅｒ　グ横ズ亜

Content: Chapter 223, Kantou manji arc, Flashback where before Draken dies in the beach, Mikey and you are talking alone together.

WARNINGS: Fluff, a bit of angst becuase y’all know the context behind this flashback😭, Mikey is in love with you since you were little, Mikey loves reader, reader is oblivious to it😝 , Mikey sort of confesses(?)

AN: I was rereading Tokyo revengers because I just love it so much and this scene was literally so beautiful. Like imagine being with Mikey watching the sunrise. I wish he was real bruh I would’ve married him LMAO.

Also your interest here is astrology so imagine you brought a microscope, and other astrology things because you’re smart. I LOVE SMART WOMEN BRUH THEYRE SO HOT AND THATS YOU😍😍😍

Enjoy cuties~

I highly recommend listening to these songs as you’re reading, made me tear up a little😢

The last flashback Draken remembered was on January 1st, 2005. Toman’s founding members with the addition to Angry and Smiley with Chifuyu and Pey-Yan, and of course you, was riding their bikes to the beach, yelling at each other their excitement. Of course you were right behind Mikey, holding onto the seat, too shy to hold onto his waist but he’s wishing you’d just hold a hand on him. You had a heavy backpack filled with your bendable microscope, notebooks, maps, etc. you were the one who suggested this since you had such a passion for the stars.

TINY FLASHBACK

“We should watch the stars and sunrise before the the new year! It’d be so pretty, I’ll bring my stuff so we can watch the stars.” You beamed to Mikey as he was sucking on his usual teriyaki. “Ooh! Sounds fun. Where?” He said tilting his head. “The beach! I heard the sky will be really clear, and the sunrise is gonna be bright, it’d be so pretty.” You said filling your cup of water. “Toman would really enjoy it!” You smiled innocently, he pouted thinking it was just gonna be the two of you. “Oh. Sure, sure~” He said continuing to pout.

END OF FLASHBACK

“Baji!! How did the Olympus incident go?!” Draken yelled through all the harsh, loud sounds of the motor bikes speeding up.

“Those punks were just the first squad, so we beat them up easily!” Baji said, pretending he wasn’t proud of himself.

They were talking amongst themselves on their bikes, while you and Mikey had your own conversation.

“Wow, it’s chillier than I’d thought it’d be, and I brought multiple blankets and layers.” You said, holding back your shaking, keeping your hair from blowing all over the place.”

“Sounds like you need more body heat..” Mikey said, he knew what he was doing. “I have a jacket in my backpack but it’s too dangerous to take it out..” you said looking over his shoulder.

“Hold on to me then…” he finally bursted out. Shutting his mouth before he said anything else. You slightly flushed, feeling a bit giddy holding on to him. He was always physically affectionate but you were never the one to initiate it. “Oh..yeah sure.” You shyly said, holding onto his shoulder. Mikey had to stop himself from rolling his eyes teasingly.

“Silly girl, you’re not gonna get any warmth like that. Don’t be all shy now~” he teased, smiling.

“W-well I thought it would be uncomfortable for you! Since your driving and all!” You panicked. He let out a hearty laugh. “Just do it, [Name]!”

You gulped before finally wrapping your arms around his waist, he felt shivers down his spine, but not from the crisp, cold air blowing through your faces. Dammit [Name] you’re so…oblivious! He thought.

—————————————————————————————————-

You guys parked your bikes and walked to the shore of the beach, you flattened a large fluffy blanket on the ground, preparing your microscope. The others were laughing and running. Obviously getting adrenaline from the scene in front of them. Who wouldn’t? The air was crisp, the wind slightly blowing, the moon was shining bright, slowly going down. It wasn’t snowy but it sure was cold, you spotted Mikey heading to the edge of the bridge and tilted your head in confusion. -I wonder what he’s thinking about- You thought.

“Of course you brought your microscope, you damn dork.” A raspy low voice startled you. Turning around you saw Baji smirking, sitting down with Chifuyu next to him. “Of course I did! I told you I was gonna bring it.” You puffed, he laughed while Chifuyu was looking at your notes. “Damn [Name], are you ever gonna major in Astronomy? These are some intelligent notes.” Chifuyu praised and you smiled.

“No, it’s just a hobby for me. Making something I enjoy so much into work would be so depressing.” You laughed. He nodded, agreeing. Mitsuya, Pah-chin, and Pey-yan joined looking at your notes as well, making fun of each other saying that they’d never be able to be as knowledgeable as you were. Draken praised at how you were always the brains of the group and you laughed, enjoying this moment. This was definitely gonna be a core memory for you.

You looked at Mikey at the bridge, -he’s been there for a long time- you thought. You got up, patting your clothes. “I’ll be right back guys, they nodded, still talking among themselves. You walked to where Mikey was. The wind was blowing through his tied half up hair, the last moments of the moonlight shining on him, making him look majestic. You smiled as you inched closer to him.

“It’s pretty right? I knew you’d like it~” you said proudly, crossing your arms with your chin up in the air. He chuckled as looked over at you. Moments like this made you feel so attached to Mikey, and likewise to him. You’ve guys known each other since you were young, way before Emma joined his family. You were the only person who understood him, who he could be vulnerable to, who he could always count on. When his mom died, you were the first person he ran to, he didn’t want to cry, but you had this effect on people where they could be open to you. Your warm heart touching many people, your ambitions, your sense of understanding in peoples feelings and thoughts. It’s what attracted him the most. When Shinichiro died, the same thing, you hugged him, as he sobbed to your neck. You felt so terrible for him. Why was so many awful things happen to such a good kid? You always saw stories about how bad things happen to the best people. Mikey was another victim.

Something in his heart was telling him to tell you everything about how he feels about you.

“..[Name]…” he started, it was too late to stop himself now.

“Hmm?” You softly replied. Still admiring last bit of the moonlight.

“No matter what happens, with Toman or anything else, you’ll be with me forever right?”

You looked at him finally, and found he was already staring at you. He was admiring you while you were admiring the moon. You flushed lightly, feeling shy under his gaze but unable to look away. “Of course I will. I’m willing to be with you through every trial in your life. Like always.” You smiled lovingly. His dark onyx staring into yours, you could almost see your reflection in them. His eyes shined brightly at your answer

“Then please stay with me…….forever, okay? Don’t leave me.” He said. You smiled and shook your head. “I’m not gonna go anywhere, Mikey…”

He smiled as the sun rose, the light shining on both you and Mikey as he admired your beauty.

“Oh shoot, I brought my stuff all for nothing!!” You pouted as Mikey laughed.

“Aww poor [Nickname]~~” he teased as you puffed. He smiled at your pouting face, cooing at how cute you were.

“Next time, we’ll go again. Just the two of us.” he smiled at you, a loving look in your eyes. People cool assume you guys were lovers from how he was looking at you.

You smiled yourself, looking at the sunrise. The two of you watching it together.

���…

Draken smiled, remembering the moment before closing his eyes, death blurring his vision, thinking of walking with Emma. He just wished Mikey came back. It probably would have stopped you from leaving..

————————————————————————————————

Sorry the ending is sad😊 don’t copy, translate, or repost my work please😘

[sylix-royalty]

I’m getting back into writing, so have a Hotch/Reid snippet!

can… can i have a hug? please?

And a little bit of

oh, sweetheart- come here.

With a dash of

how long has it been since someone hugged you?

Type: Angsty Fluff

Warnings: Kinda just sad, brief mention of drugs

Spencer was very obviously the most touch starved of the group. It wasn’t to no fault of his, not really. It was clear he didn’t prefer physical contact most of the time, but Aaron wasn’t stupid. Aaron knew that despite Spencer’s sensory issues and mild germaphobic tendencies, he really just wanted to be hugged sometimes.

It was more obvious after some cases, when his arms wrapped around himself as he sat alone on the back of the plane, curled up as staring out of the window rather than reading whatever book he’d already read 7 or 8 times that week. It was only Wednesday after all.

It was less obvious after others, the itch of his hands as he read, how they’d twitch before he’d read a page. Aaron noticed, but he wasn’t sure that the others did, too careful of Spencer sensory. And Spencer clearly didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire of his own mind by his need of physical contact. But, Aaron wasn’t stupid. He was a profiler for a reason. But he wasn’t just going to jump down Spencer’s throat like that, putting him on the spot would be unhelpful and most likely backfire.

So, Aaron watched more intentionally. Trying to give an obvious sign to Spencer that he was here for him, should Spencer need him. It took a while, longer than Aaron liked to admit, but finally Spencer came into his office after hours.

The case had been a bad one. Having to deal with not only children, but Spencer was taken as a hostage and belittled so bad that Aaron was on the verge of shooting the man just to make him shut the hell up for good. Of course he couldn’t, that would risk his job, and more importantly Spencer’s life, but the thought definitely crossed his mind.

“Do you mind if I sit?” Spencer asked softly, and Aaron nodded slowly.

“Stay as long as you need,” he said gently, trying not to use that boss tone he knew he had. Spencer nodded, noting the attempt, and sat on the couch, curled up with his arms around himself once again, staring at the wall.

Aaron worked in silence, not going to push or pry answers out of the younger. He knew Spencer was struggling, and he had a terrible reputation when it came to asking for help. But Aaron hoped he was slowly working through that.

“You don’t believe him, do you?” Spencer whispered, finally. “You don’t… you don’t see me as a… drugged up, ratty—“

“No, Spencer,” Aaron cut him off, not allowing Spencer to repeat the words of the UnSub. “I don’t see you like that. No one does.”

“I do,” Spencer whispered, “I feel like that, sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if everything’s worth it.”

“It’s all worth it,” Aaron whispered.

“You would say that,” Spencer whispered, and Aaron set his pen down.

“Meaning?” Aaron asked without trying to sound offended or offput.

“Meaning you see me,” Spencer explained. “You see the man I’m trying to be. You… you understand… who I am in a way that most other’s can’t.”

“I’m perceptive,” Aaron reasoned.

“Yes,” Spencer agreed. “But you also care.”

“This team cares about you,” Aaron reasoned.

“They do,” Spencer nodded. “But they care so much about one thing, something you’ve been… overlooking lately.”

Aaron blinked.

“You’ve been staring at me, after cases. Reading me. I see your eyes. I feel them.”

“If I’ve made you uncomfortable, that wasn’t my intention,” Aaron promised.

“No, I know,” Spencer promised. “I just…” he inhaled slowly, his arms falling from where they were wrapped around him. “Can I have… have a hug? Please?”

Aaron exhaled slowly from where he sat, finally hearing the words come from Spencer’s mouth almost made him jump out of his chair. He still moved a bit too quick, but Spencer didn’t seem to mind or care as he quickly got off the couch, hearing Aaron’s gentle “oh sweetheart, come here,” and met Aaron halfway, wrapping his arms around Aaron’s shoulders, and Aaron’s arms around his waist.

Spencer almost broke right there. But Aaron held him up strong, as per usual. He kept his hold for as long as Spencer needed, or wanted, which was longer than he originally calculated.

“When was the last time someone hugged you?” Aaron whispered into his ear.

“Too long,” Spencer whispered, voice broken and scraggly as he pushed his nose into Aaron’s shoulder.

“Don’t let it ever be that long again,” Aaron whispered.

“I’m here, Spence. I’m right here.”