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justpevensies · 4 years

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Second Fiddle

Blurb: Edmund is not settling for second best any longer.

Warnings: mostly a slightly jealous Edmund - there’s a little bit of anger and some angst in there too but nothing too extreme.

It was when Edmund entered into Cair Paravel after going for an afternoon ride in the woods that he saw you.

Stood in the great hall, you were laughing; oh how your smile and laugh made his heart race. However, as he looked closer he could see the reason for your laughter. You were talking to Peter.

Smiles across both of your faces, he instantly knew that Peter would be wooing you with his flattering jokes and his irresistable compliments. The young, golden haired king was working his boyish charms.

Just looking at it made Edmund’s stomach turn and instantly he felt compelled to put an end to it.

“(Y/N)!” He called over, trying to hide his inner feelings. Instantly you turned around and ran to him, beaming “Ed!” Sweeping you off your feet, he wrapped you in a welcoming embrace and for that brief moment all of his worries melted away. You were in his arms and you were loving him, there was no one else.

The two of you chatted for a little moment before you giggled. “You came back just in time” you smiled, unaware of Edmund’s previous thoughts. “Peter was just telling me some of his favourite stories”. You looked over your shoulder and grinned up to the magnificent High King.

“I must say Edmund, she tolerates me much more than you” Peter chuckled, admiring the couple stood before him. Although Peter meant no harm by it, that sentence was the final straw.

Edmund’s throat went dry, he could feel a cold shiver sliding down his spine. As a result, he tightened his grip on your waist - rather unaware that he was doing so. Determined to divert the situation, he abruptly said: “That’s nice to know” before looking at you directly and grabbing your hand. “(Y/N) ought we not to prepare for dinner?”

Before you could even say farewell to Peter, you were whisked away.

As the week went on, Edmund began to get more and more paranoid. He slowly became increasingly terrified to leave you alone in case he would come back and you’d be with Peter. He hadn’t let it show very much, only in extreme circumstances would that deep part of him ever become public.

“She tolerates me much better than you”. Those words echoed in his mind, he lived in it every day. His reality was a true, living nightmare.

You had began to notice Edmund was acting a lot more protective and close than normal; holding your hand and cuddling you close to him at every oppurtunity, particularly in front of people. While he would normally show subtle affection in public, it was unusual for it to be this common. However, he hadn’t done anything too out-of-the-ordinary so you didn’t mind it too much. Besides, what’s not to love about your significant other being so generous in front of everyone?

Nothing was really said - well, nothing was too unusual - until it came to a council meeting one evening. While discussing a trade deal, a heated argument arose and it didn’t take too long before the 4 Kings and Queens were snapping at one another left, right and centre. Each were proposing different ideas on how to handle the situation but soon it came down to a final two solutions and the argument evolved into who sided with who. Who had final say? Who made the best decision?

When things got too out of hand among the siblings, it was your role within the council to step in and calm things down, everyone respected how calm you could remain in those situations and, therefore, would listen to you.

The clash of titans unfolding in front of you was between Peter and Edmund. As a royal advisor, almost everyone was looking to you for guidance and it was your job to consider all options before deciding finally where you stood on the matter.

You listened to both Kings preach their proposal to you.

Edmund’s seemed logical but slightly radical, whereas Peter’s seemed safe but potentially less likely to work. You felt like you were stood at a split road - do you go with the reasonable idea or do you go with your heart? Almost everyone, currently, was siding with Peter so if you supported Edmund it would certainly shift the views on the table. There was a silence as the Pevensie brothers waited for your answer.

“(Y/N)?” Edmund looked to you, his eyes pleading and desperately seeking someone to back him up.

You felt torn and normally you would side with Ed, his ideas were always more like yours and you never doubted his wisdom, plans or knowledge. However, this time it felt better to go with the majority vote.

You looked up at Peter and then turned to Edmund with regret and sorrow in your face. You let out a sigh and Ed didn’t even need you to say anything to know what was coming next. “I’m sorry Ed, but I have to go with Peter for once”.

Edmund’s eyes filled with disappointment and before anyone could say anything, he turned and walked out. As soon as his back turned, tears began to fall freely down his cheeks. Not even excusing yourself you raced after him calling (and eventually shouting) his name.

He quickened pace, not looking back once, until he got to upstairs to his chambers.

“Do you want to tell me what that was about?” You demanded after - accidentally - slamming Edmund’s chamber door closed.

He turned to face you with a rather affronted face and he tried to find words. You looked at him, arms folded, searching for answers. Normally Edmund would tell you exactly how he was feeling if something was angering him but, right now, you couldn’t see any clues in his expression. Edmund began to raise his hands, mumbling out his thoughts before he finally spat out:

“I’m just trying!”

Confused, and rather frustrated at his blunt reply, you immediately responded: “What?”

“I’m just trying... my best” Edmund repeated before affirming those last two words.

Neither of you moved but Edmund’s stare was so dark and piercing. You could see his contained rage flickering inside him. Slowly your heartbeat began to calm but the tension felt very much the same.

“I heard you first time, but what do you mean?” You asked.

Edmund scoffed before turning away. “What do you care? I thought you only cared about Peter”.

That last word - Peter’s name - hit you like a punch. That’s what this was about? Peter?

“Pet-”

“Yes! Peter!”

Edmund said his brother’s name as if it was profanity. His face was just completely begrudged, he certainly wasn’t hiding emotions anymore.

“I try everyday to be the perfect person, the one you would want me to be. A good king who can make decisions and rule justly; a good lover, one who can make you happy and be affectionate all of the time; I’m trying to be my best self but it’s not good enough! It’s never good enough!”

You could fear your heart beginning to shatter and as you went to speak Edmund carried on.

“I’m tired of playing second fiddle! It’s always been Peter! He gets to be High King, he can lead, he is always first for everything: firstborn, first in achievements, first for... love.” Edmund began to pour out, hesitating before his voice cracked. At that he turned away, self-conscious. His heart began to pound and while you were still stood in your original position, you could tell by his breathing and body language what was going on.

“First it was our mother, then Susan and Lucy, and now it’s you! He is everyone’s first love”.

You didn’t know what to say - how Edmund could believe that you would leave him, let alone leave him for his brother, was beyond you.

You stepped forward and reached out your hand, resting it on his shoulder blade and he flinched under your touch. He wasn’t expecting it and part of him didn’t believe it was your touch, it felt more like a dream in his head. At that you began to rub his back and you placed your other hand on his shoulder blade as you leaned against his tunic.

“Did you really think I was in love with Peter?” You whispered.

You looked up at Edmund before he bowed his head down in defeat. His eyes were closed as tightly as possible as he nodded his head. You could see his heartbreak, his desperation and, at that, you wrapped your arms around his whole body, placing kisses on his back.

“Oh Ed” you whispered as tears began to fall, staining his clothes. “Oh Ed you have no idea”. Edmund straightened back up, still not looking at you and you began to speak.

“I do love Peter, you know I do... like a brother. I couldn’t love him in the way I do for you. Edmund Pevensie, you have cared, treated and respected me in a way no one else had. You were the first person here who made me laugh, long before Peter did”.

Edmund faintly smiled as he remembered that moment, several days after you arrived in Narnia. It was then that he first fell for you.

“Everything you’ve done for me has never failed to impact me because having someone love me the way you have everyday has made me feel special. I’ve always felt like you’ve put me first and so I instantly felt obliged to do the same. I have done ever since we got together. Oh Ed, you’re so worth it - you’re worth being my first every moment”.

Edmund didn’t know what to say because no one had ever shown such priority and favour for him like that before. There was a silence before you boldly said: “Aslan believed you were worth it”.

At that, he turned to face you. His face wasn’t full of doom or despair anymore, you could see a look of pride and joy beginning to form. You were right - Aslan had given him his life, he had redeemed him and made him the person he was today. Aslan had given him new life and reminded him that he was worth everything no matter anything that had occured before for his life was worth just as much as anyone else’s.

You looked into Edmund’s eyes before cupping his cheeks in your hands. You finished off your sentence in a low whisper: “And so do I.”

Edmund saw right there that there was no doubt about your love, you had always been his first and he could see how much love you had in return. He leaned in and kissed you as if it were the first time he’d kissed you.

He knew from now on that you’d never let him forget his worth.

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

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I replayed Seven’s route and saw through the secret ending episodes (haven’t done that since 2019) and man is it me or is Rika kinda apathetic towards Saeran in the secret endings. In Ray’s route and especially his AE, she’s so fixated and obsessed with him and Saeyoung in hopes of this “happy family” and to feel needed. She was obsessive and possessive saying how much she loves Saeran like a mom loves her son. But in the Secret Ending when Saeran had a mental breakdown over him not getting the revenge Rika promised him. She got irritated and basically asked her believers to brainwash Saeran again and treated him like he was disposable, like Saeyoung can just take his place in “paradise”.

Like what happened, do you think the time between Another Story and Original Story was enough for her to lose her humanity along the way and play prophet full time. Like how Saeran’s demeanor in both those timelines are different bc he had to withstand Mint Eye’s treatment long enough to fixate on revenge completely and get a tattoo that solidified his devotion to what he didn’t know was a false cause.

Do you think Rika’s apathetic attitude is why Ray was “disposed” of in OS (I would say as an alter he was just dormant, covering his eyes and ears in a sense yknow?). Ray didn’t really play any part in OS so I thought Rika was done “playing mom” (since in the AE she said she missed Ray bc Ray was someone who needed her.) and wanted 100% focus on her plan

Sorry for rambling too much, this started off as a simple question but then my brain went “wait 🤔 what if 🤨”

-Moomi✨

So, a lot of this comes down to how you feel about connecting the two stories. A lot of people do not connect Another Story and Deep/Casual. So there are people that will say that it's just two different realities where possible circumstance can happen. I personally connect the two and I write with that in mind. Let me just say that there is a two-year time period between the two points that you can play in. That is a long time for things to happen and play out.

It's only been 6 months since he was taken in Another Story when Ray is there. Not a lot of time has passed and he is fresh in paranoia and in the manipulation that has been expended upon him. He is loyal to a T and very emotionally distraught. He is very lost and clinging to the last shred of hope that he has. There's a part of him that is cut throat and willing to destroy if that's what he has to do, but there's another part of him that's crying out when that happens.

Because he doesn't want to do those things but he has no choice.

She is the only person that's left in his life that hasn't abandoned him and he truly believes everything that she's told him. He's constantly trying to get her praise and attention because he doesn't want to be left behind. Suit Saeran said to himself that all of their vulnerable points of holding onto hope are inside of Ray. There is a reason why without the MC that Ray wouldn't be able to survive for very long. It's because Ray would never be getting positive influence. He would be a hurt more and more the longer that he was forced to lash out.

It would eventually destroy him. It would be too painful for him to exist because he would have nothing and it would be pointless. He would run himself ragged to give his savior what she wanted and he wouldn't be able to keep up with what she wanted. It would overload him. That is why Suit Saeran what eventually emerge at some point during that time period that would be after Ray combusted.

Suit Saeran isn't exactly stable either. He is built on anger and animosity, but he has just as many emotions as Ray has even though he tries to deny them. It's just instead of balling up everything inside of him, he's taking it out on everyone else because that's what he's been told his strength. He would work himself just as hard as Ray had, but there would be a part in the side of him that was just as twisted.

I personally do not see Suit Saeran and Unknown as the same person so that's important to note here. I imagine that at some point during that period after he gained control, something really bad would happen and it would cause a fracture inside of him. Unknown would be born if that split and eventually take control of the body. He is a lot more twisted. He's let go of the part of him that has hope, and the only thing that he's holding onto is devastation and destruction.

Everything is everyone else's fault and they need to pay for it. His sole purpose is completing their Revenge. He has a one-track mind and there's no doubt about that. He doesn't know what he's even going to do once he gets his revenge. He hasn't even planned that far. You can see that in a lot of the Bad Endings on Seven's Route. He is very emotionally vulnerable and on a hairpin trigger that could be easily broken. In a way he's like Ray. He and Ray have a lot more in common than he and Suit Saeran do with that.

Unknown has fully committed himself to this system. Whereas, with Ray and Suit Saeran, the both of them are able to express to the MC in the game, but they have doubts and that they know that she's not right but they have no other choice. Yes, they are committed to it in a sense but that doesn't mean that they are completely and wholeheartedly consumed by the Cult. There is still a part of them that is seeking that individuality and fighting against the pain and what sounds wrong.

Unknown has given himself to this. He sees no other point and he sees no other purpose. He's been tortured and pushed around his entire life, and it's been blamed on V and Saeyoung. This is the only thing that he's able to focus on and it's the only thing that he knows. It's the only thing grounding him. Rika is right behind him and whispering these lies and manipulation into his ear every single day. She treats him the way that she treats all of them, like a dog chasing food on the end of a string. She says pretty words and has great ideas, but if you follow her, you're never going to get the treat at the end.

And with Unknown, you know that he's been gaslit and manipulated to a degree much more lengthy than what Ray and Saeran went through; he's been stuck in this place by himself with nobody to hold on to. That just didn't stop because he started listening to what she wanted. That continued on. So did her constant denial of giving him praise. He's constantly trying to do things for her and that will make her praise him, and she always avoids doing it. He's always Chasing the Sun but he's never going to be able to touch it.

With Rika, you know that she's trying to cope by saying that she's a better mother. She's so lost in everything that she's been through and all of this anger that she's holding onto, that she's masking everything that she's doing and living her lie to the fullest. It's her way or the highway. She wants to get her revenge and she wants to prove that she was always right. She wants to be able to look at the crumbled remains of RFA as they seemingly all join her side one by one, and leave V in the dust.

She wants him to be a million things all at once. Her expectations for him are beyond what anyone could ever be. She says if you do this or that, she'll praise you and you'll be the best. But in reality, you're never going to be good enough in her eyes. That is the reality that he has to face. It's one that he tries to deny because she's made him truly believe that she's the only person that he has left. Yet, she treats him so horribly and only gives him enough so that he doesn't have enough doubts to make a fight.

She is apathetic. It's been so long and he's been failing her consistently in the secret ending. He wasn't able to get the MC. He wasn't able to get the party guests or the plans. He wasn't able to make good on any of the promises that he said that he was going to do. She's angry at him and she does what she's always done, blame him for being too emotional and punish him with more cleansing ceremony is so he can become the person that she wants them to be.

But like I said, the problem with that is that he's never going to be what she wants him to be.

She gets impatient. She stops putting on a pretty and friendly face for him. It's because he's not getting her the results that she wants fast enough. It's because he's not living up to what she wants him to be. It's because she's not happy and no matter how much she tries to use him to get what she wants to be happy, she's never going to be happy.

She's in a completely different place at this point in her life than she was in Another Story. She's had a hell of a lot more time to ruminate and get angry about how she's not getting results. At some point, she gets bored and tired of not getting what she wants. She's got a throne and she's got all of this power, but it's not making her happy. V is never giving her the response that she wants whenever they interact, and this just keeps feeding back into it. Her unchecked trauma and inability to accept responsibility for her crimes all play into this. The shame and the guilt...

I really do think that she lost whatever shred of humanity that she had. If you want to say that she had any of it. She's really had more time to get herself into place with the Savior position. She starts to think that she did the right thing by what she did to Mother Choi. She starts to think that she was right about doing what she did to the boys. What she did to V.

All of the people around her are constantly likening her to a saint and telling her that everything that she's doing is perfect and correct. She becomes more and more desensitized to the violence that she is committing. She is personally involved with many of the cleansing ceremonies. She is constantly there with all of this violence and trickery.

These are things that affect your psyche.

At some point, everyone around her is just useful for her goals. She doesn't really care what happens to Saeran because she has no more patience for him. He's constantly questioning her and fighting her. He doesn't listen like Ray listened. He makes a point of pushing back and at some point she just decides that it would be easier to get rid of him if she has to do it. In a lot of the Bad Endings, he does not know what the trigger to the bomb does. She literally just tells him that it's going to do something that will hurt his brother so much.

And he believes everything that she says. In those endings, she gives him the trip to the bomb because she wants to clear up the loose end. If she gets rid of him, she can easily manipulate his brother to do what she wants and turn him against V. She can use that opening to get whatever she wants. Seven would never know. She would just change her tactics and manipulate the other brother. Because at this point in her life, all she cares about is getting back at V. She blames him for everything and wants to destroy him for it. Nothing else matters at that point. She has a one-track mind at that point.

And what's more disheartening is the fact that she thinks that she wants that, but there's something inside of her that doesn't want that. She's just as conflicted as the rest of them are. I think it should be very telling to anyone about what's going on in her head space just by telling you to look at how willing she is to throw him away in the secret ending. She was ready to just throw him into the basement to have him used and abused again. Even if his brother tries to defend him and offer himself up, she's still pretty much ready to throw Saeran away.

She screams at him because he doesn't listen. That's why she says that she should have took his brother instead. She's tired of him fighting her and not obeying her every order and being her little puppet. She stops caring about him as a son when she realizes that a son isn't going to be her cute little puppet.

#mod kait #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #ask #mysticmessenger #anon #choi saeran #saeyoung choi #choi saeyoung #rika kim #character analysis

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lewis-winters · 4 years

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Some additional dæmon!au headcanons, a continuation of this headcanon list.

Ok so I thought about it some more and decided to change Dick's dæmon from a Caracara to a Gyrfalcon. Still a raptor, but a larger one that has, historically, been used in falconry and hunting and is, in some European countries, a symbol of patriotism and national pride. Dick's daemon is a female, silver-streaked Gyrfalcon that settled sometime after college but before Fort Benning. Her name's Anahida, and she speaks like a queen. Like, literally, I imagine her voice sounds a lot like Helen McCrory's (gee, I wonder why). She's very large and eye catching, but she only speaks when spoken to-- which is rare. In a society as repressed as 1930s - 1940s America, I imagine speaking to another person's dæmon would be seen as rude or taboo. Because of that, Anahida barely speaks and thus, people often forget she's there. There are rumors too, that Dick's the son of a witch, because Anahida likes to fly far above and at a distance, farther than any human-dæmon bond should go. However, it isn't true. They just practiced a lot growing up. Dick's always wanted to fly, in some way or another, and practicing as well as testing how far they can both stretch from each other was their afternoon play time. It's weird. I know. But this is Dick we're talking about. Of course he'd do something like this.

Anahida is the only one allowed to berate Dick when he's being exceptionally petty or self-righteous. She keeps him in check. It never happens often, but it happens enough. Other than that, they're right as rain and very in-sync with each other.

Is anybody surprised that the only other person who will ever address Anahida directly is Lewis? Show of hands? None? Yeah, me too.

Liebgott's dæmon's name is Chaya and, after some pondering, I've come to the conclusion that she's a Bat-eared fox. Very chatty, too. She and Lieb are very blunt, but she's arguably the blunter one of the two. Where Lieb sometimes gives into the urge to hide or repress feelings, Chaya is willing to take more risk. She does this thing where she will boldly go one way, the way she knows is good for them both, stretching their bond even to its thinnest and most painful, just to get Lieb to finally concede and agree with her. They're both stubborn as all hell, that's the problem. Sometimes Lieb will deny himself things for a myriad of reasons. Chaya has no such qualms. She loves him, but she definitely thinks he's an idiot sometimes. It also sometimes extends to how Lieb gets really soft around people he cares about. In the wild, male Bat-eared foxes are the more nurturing of the young, while the females are the ones who go out and hunt. Kind of the same with Lieb and Chaya. Lieb takes care, he hovers and forgets that boundaries exist-- his own, and the person he's taking care of. But Chaya's the kind who remembers, and reminds Lieb that sometimes you can't give all of yourself away, no matter how much you want to. Does that make sense?

(Disclaimer: I gotta admit. The reason why I hesitated with Lieb was because I didn't want to accidentally be anti-Semitic. I grew up in a country that is primarily Christian and Muslim so I am only familiar with Islamophobic visual vocab, not so the anti-Semitic ones. I had to make sure the animals I assigned a Jewish man's literal soul to were not anti-Semitic or used in anti-Semitic imagery by Nazi propaganda in any way. So. Yeah. Um. Pigs, goats, lizards/reptiles, rats, rodent-adjacent, or any animal seen as "pests" or "vermin" were immediately struck out. Nope. Let's not.)

You wouldn't know it at first glance, but Web and his raven dæmon have a very intense love-hate relationship. Annabelle is a very act-first, introspection-never kind of thing. Web is the opposite. Sometimes, Annabelle will act before Web himself will, and she can be very, very vicious. Because of this, Web is afraid of her and Annabelle resents him. They never fight in public, they largely ignore each other, but often when they get into it... well. It gets almost... a bit too violent. Some of the others have never seen a human and a daemon hurt each other until they’ve met these two. Sometimes, Annabelle often thinks that she’s somebody else entirely, a completely different entity from Web, and sometimes, Web thinks she’s a changeling. That maybe some fae or other switched his real daemon out for this cursed one. It’s a really fractured, complicated relationship.

When they’re on the same wave length, though, they’re scary. The only thing they can seem to agree on is passionate and impulsive anger. Web will always regret it afterwards whereas Annabelle is always smug about it. They calm down after the war and they’re back home. During the war, though, they’re both a mess.

Joe Toye’s daemon is a doberman pinscher named Alessia who is just about as quiet and solemn as her human. Classic soldier daemon. He calls her Al for short. When he loses a leg, she doesn’t. I don’t think amputation in the daemon world works that way, at least not according to Pullman’s original text. Going back home with her after his amputation is easier because she’s there to encouraged him and hold him up when necessary. They make a good team. They share similar fears and insecurities so it’s easy for the both of them to understand each other and help each other through it.

Pat has a little american robin as a daemon. Which is really funny, honestly. Big tough guy like Pat, you’d think he’d have a big tough daemon for sure, but that’s not the case with him. He’s always been gentle and unassuming, Pat and so is his daemon. Her name’s Aoibheann (pronounced ay-veen). She likes to sit on his shoulder and rarely flies far away from him. When they jumped, she stayed inside his jacket at all times, tucked away and close. The only time she flies is later on at peace time, when she knows they’re both safe and she can leave Pat for a few minutes without it being too much trouble.

Johnny’s daemon is a mongoose named Corentine, but he calls her Cora. She’s fiesty. Sobel’s rooster daemon, Julius, wasn’t very fond of her. In fact, he was downright frightened of her. It’s why Sobel won’t mess with Johnny. It’s really funny.

Perco’s daemon is in the same family. A weasel. A tiny little thing he can hold in both his hands. Her name’s Jackie. I have no idea why. But it fits.

Ralph Spina’s daemon is a raccoon. It’s adorable. His name’s Nimaphael. But he hates it and everybody just calls him Nim. Ralph carries him around like a baby on a sling, strapped to his chest. Unlike Harry and Saoirse, you can tease them about this. They’re aware it looks ridiculous. They also don’t care.

Bull’s daemon is a sun bear. I know. I didn’t see this coming, either. But I thought about it and... honestly? It fits. Not to mention Bull’s pretty big. He can carry her no problem. Her name’s Xanthia, by the way. And she’s very sweet, if only a little gruff in showing affection. She’s also not afraid to do what needs to be done. If she needs to have a go at an enemy’s daemon, then you know she’ll do it. She definitely isn’t afraid to get down and dirty. It scares the replacements for awhile, until they realize that she only does it to protect her own.

I finally figured out what Merriell Shelton’s daemon is-- it’s a Jaguarundi. It’s a wild cat that looks to be a mix between a house cat and a mongoose. They’re fascinating and they hiss. A lot. It’s a perfect fit. Again, he name is Charlotte, but he calls her Lotte. Imagining them swaggering down the streets of 1940s New Orleans appeals to my aesthetic sense so much I cry just thinking about it.

BONUS:

Kitty Grogan’s daemon is, not surprisingly, a cat. But not a domesticated one. He looks like it at first glance, but he’s not. He’s an African Wild Cat and he’s a sarcastic little shit named Xaphania. Xaph for short. Send me a wink if you understand that reference.

#dæmon au #band of brothers #dick winters #joe liebgott #david webster #joe toye #pat christenson #johhny martin #frank perconte #ralph spina #bull randleman #kitty grogan #the pacific #merriell shelton #bob hcs #bob aus

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angelofthequeers · 4 years

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If canon!Luka is too much of a blank slate, and fanon!Luka is basically Adrien-lite, what would you fo if you had to fix his character? Not a stan or anything like that, I agree with you on Luka, it's just I saw many posts like like yours about him but not a single one that said: "This is what I would do if I had to give him depth:", please correct me if I'm wrong and just didn't look hard enough. (I'm on mobile and English isn't my native language, please be gentle (._.))

Just have him not revolve around Marinette. That’s literally it. More detail and an analysis of a few scenes below the cut, because that’s the simple answer to your question but I have to go in-depth to really explain where I’m coming from. And your English is just fine! I’ll kick the kneecaps of anyone who makes fun of you for it, because heck if I can speak anything other than English. All the quotes I use are from the transcripts on this site here.

Luka’s got a few basic traits and some hints of flaws but because his screen time revolves solely around his love interest - with the exception of that one scene in ‘Reflekdoll’ with Juleka - they haven’t been developed nearly as much as they could have been, and so we haven’t seen him developing independently of Marinette because any character development is tied directly to her. For example, it could be a double-edged flaw slash core personality trait that he doesn’t get too angry on behalf of himself but he gets furious when someone he loves is threatened. It would be a nice parallel to Adrien and serve to further show how they’re foils. But since we’ve only seen him getting angry on behalf of Marinette, it’s not nearly as fleshed-out a trait as it could have been. If we’d even had just one scene of him reacting to Juleka’s akumatisation, it would’ve expanded him so much further than as just a love interest.

Whether Kagami is objectively more developed is an argument I don’t want to get into, even if I’m going to analyse her below, but she definitely comes across as a lot more fleshed out because she doesn’t exist to revolve around Adrien. Her debut episode involves Adrien but isn’t focused on him and her (first) akumatisation isn’t due to her role as Adrien’s love interest, whereas Luka’s akumatisation episode focused very pointedly on his role as Marinette’s love interest. He only got mad enough to attract an akuma once Bob Roth threatened Marinette, not when the music of his entire band was threatened - because it’s not just him in Kitty Section, and one of the other members is his sister. I can quote the scene and put bold emphasis on how his anger only really flares when it’s Marinette he’s talking about.

Luka: That’s not true! You copied Marinette’s costumes!

Marinette: And it’s the exact same song. You stole Luka’s music!

XY: Oh, come on. Let’s not exaggerate now. We may have just been a little bit… inspired, that’s all.

Luka: Inspired? You flat out stole! You didn’t design this mask! (rips mask from XY’s head) Marinette did!

Marinette: Listen, it’s not too late to do the right thing. Just tell the truth and let Kitty Section appear on the show. That’s all we’re asking.

Bob: Yeah. First they’ll wanna be in the show. Then they’ll be asking for a cut of the profits. No way! Never saw or heard of Kitten Division.

Luka: Forget it, Marinette. It’s no big deal. Let’s just go.

Marinette: No! It’s not fair! I won’t stand by and let my friends’ work get stolen. (to Bob) If you won’t tell the truth, then I will! Right now, on the air, live! (walks up to the camera)

Bob: (grabs Marinette’s arm) If you do that, I’ll tell them you’re the copycats, not me. I’ve got all the music biz eating out of my hand. So who do you think they’re gonna believe? Me, or a group of nobodies?

Luka: Grrr…

Bob: You’ll never have a future in this business. You’ll never make another costume. And there’ll be no more music for your buddies because as far as everyone’s concerned, you’ll be the rip-off artists.

Luka: Grrr…

(The akuma enters the mask Luka is holding)

(’Silencer’)

Luka’s primary concern in this scene is that Marinette was cheated. Marinette is the one bringing up Kitty Section and how their music was stolen, but Luka is laser-focused on how Marinette’s designs were stolen. Even when they first see the stolen music video as a group, he’s focused on Marinette.

Ivan: But that’s our original style!

Luka: (to Marinette) Your unicorn, and your mask!

Marinette: (to Luka) That’s your melody. (to Rose) It’s your music. That’s not fair! That should be you guys up there on TV. There better be a good explanation. We have to have it out with Bob Roth and XY.

Again, Marinette is the one to bring up how Kitty Section was cheated. Marinette and Ivan. And again, Luka was focused on how Marinette was cheated. This episode could have been a great way to flesh out Luka, to show his dedication to his band and his furious desire to protect his loved ones, but it ends up being just a whole 22 minutes of him revolving around Marinette. This is literally the episode of him being The Perfect Boyfriend, for people to project their ideals onto and squee about how he’s so perfect and romantic for Marinette. Leaving out that Adrien and, arguably, Chat haven’t needed flowery speeches and a laser focus on only Marinette/Ladybug to win her heart, and she constantly goes back to him whereas, like I mentioned in my last post about Luka, she seems to kind of just…blush and then move on from Luka’s confession.

Now let’s compare the scene before Kagami’s akumatisation and bold her focus:

Kagami: (She sighs in defeat, then walks up to Adrien, offering her hand for a shake, which Adrien takes. Kagami calmly walks out of the room.)

Adrien: I’m going to offer him a decisive match. (He goes running after Kagami, grabbing her saber from the ground as he goes. Kagami is about to get into her car when Adrien catches up to her) Hey! Wait! Your saber!

(Kagami throws her glove into the car and removes her helmet, turning to look at Adrien expectantly. As she does so, Marinette runs up to the school entrance.)

Adrien: (Momentarily stunned by her appearance.) Let’s do a… decisive match? (As he speaks, he notices Kagami’s ring.)

Kagami: What’s the point? You won. There’s no such thing as a second chance in my family. Goodbye. (She gets into her car, which drives off.)

Kagami’s mother’s: (Voicemail) I’m not available at the moment. Leave a message. (Beep!)

Kagami: Mother, you thought I was good enough, but… I lost. I won’t be joining the D'Argencourt Academy. (she hangs up and sits back in her seat. The akuma flies into her ring.)

Hawk Moth: Riposte! I am Hawk Moth. I’m giving you a second chance to prove that you are the best fencer of all, but in return, you must bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.

Kagami: On my honor, Hawk Moth, I shall be victorious! (She transforms into Riposte, slicing open a new sun roof into her car and leaving.)

(’Riposte’)

Even the locations of the akumas give that little extra boost of characterisation. Kagami’s is in her ring, showing the audience that her drive is to be the best and make the Tsurugi family proud and she and her mother don’t tolerate failure, because they stake their honour on success. Luka’s is in the mask that Marinette made, which just shows that…he’s angry because Marinette was wronged. And yes, Hawkmoth’s speech includes the line of “The anger of a creator whose work has been stolen” but considering that every bit of Luka’s anger up to this point has been focused on Marinette, it just…rings hollow. The Lukanette stans noticed this too, but they took it as a positive and used it to shout about how much Luka loved Marinette and how sweet it was that she was the reason he was akumatised - and believe me, I used to be there, I’ve seen it.

And yes, I know that ‘Oni-Chan’ exists. I know that Kagami’s reason for akumatisation revolved around Adrien and that her akumatised object was the rose that he gave her. But I’m focusing on debut akumas and even then, it shows that there’s a jealous, possessive side to her. It works with her previous appearances to round her out, to show that she’s driven and ambitious but also jealous and possessive. ‘Ikari Gozen’ takes this even further and shows that she’s awkward and wants to make friends but doesn’t know how to interact with other people, and it furthers her focus on honour and worthiness and shows that she ties her self-worth with her success:

Hawk Moth: How tragic it is to feel unloved. Alone, deprived of friendship. (turns a butterfly into an akuma) Fly away, my little akuma, and evilise her!

Kagami: I guess I’m not worthy of our friendship; our bloodtypes must be too incompatible.

(’Ikari Gozen’)

Although each episode that she’s in does feel like a totally different portrayal of her, and a lot of criticism/dislike for her came from how she felt all over the place, they’ve also come back together to tie her together as a multifaceted character: someone who’s ambitious and must be the best (’Riposte’), who sees romance as a competition like she does fencing (the whole “change your target” to Adrien and “I never hesitate” to Marinette in ‘Frozer’ and her admission that she has to win Adrien’s heart in ‘Heart Hunter’) - which further adds to her lack of ability to navigate social situations that’s expanded upon in ‘Ikari Gozen’, an episode that also emphasises her fatal flaw of never hesitating. Yes, she’s right to say that hesitation can cost you, but this episode shows that some hesitation is necessary, and jumping into things without thinking and expecting everyone else to do so will definitely lead to some stumbles.

Every time Luka’s on the screen, I don’t really learn anything new about him. All I know is that he’s romantic and likes Marinette and only gets angry on behalf of his loved ones. His first meeting with Marinette focused on how he found her cute and how she was flustered, whereas Kagami’s first meeting with Adrien wasn’t focused on the Adrigami ship outside of Adrien’s Pink Bubble Love Stupor. And first meetings tend to set the tone of how characters are going to interact. Marinette/Adrien and Marinette/Kagami’s first meetings focused on misjudgement and how someone’s impression of another person isn’t necessarily correct, and we see this with how Marinette goes gaga over Adrien and has her moments of seeing him as a perfect Greek god (which isn’t to say that she worships him like a fangirl, but rather that her crush is acting as major rose-tinted glasses) and how she blows Kagami up as an evil villain in her mind until she pops her own bubble and makes herself see Kagami as another person instead of an evil rival. And Ladybug/Chat Noir’s first meeting focused on having to build a partnership on the spot and showed how Chat didn’t fall for her until after she’d stood up to Hawkmoth and declared that they would protect Paris. But Marinette/Luka’s first meeting shows that Marinette gets flustered around pretty boys and Luka just…up and decided that he liked her. It shows that Luka’s focus is going to be Marinette and that’s it.

I’ll cut Luka a little slack and admit that yes, ‘Desperada’ did have him become Viperion because “Desperada attacked my friends and my family”, just as Kagami became Ryuuko to save her mother, and this scene wasn’t specifically focused on how Marinette and only Marinette might have been affected. But the starting scene of the episode once more shows us something else about Kagami - that she’s got a mischievous side and is starting to be rebellious and sneak around behind Tomoe’s back - while showing us nothing about Luka except that he’s…got a crush on Marinette, which appears to be reciprocated, and that he’s good at guitar. Which we already knew.

Marinette: You’re so talented, Luka. How long have you been playing for?

Luka: Since I was in diapers. (strums guitar)(Marinette giggles.)

Alix: I get the feeling Marinette likes Luka a lot.

Alix: Your father let you out?!

Adrien: We’re officially at fencing practice right now, but - oh, no, Kagami. Isn’t this the wrong address?

Kagami: Oh, dear, I think you’re right.(Adrien and Kagami chuckle.)

(’Desperada’)

Even the ending scenes of Luka and Kagami’s debut episodes set the tone for them. In Luka’s debut of ‘Captain Hardrock’, the ending is focused on his role as Marinette’s new love interest and as a rival of Adrien’s, even if they don’t actually see each other as rivals.

Adrien: Thanks, uh…

Luka: Luka.

Adrien: Thanks, Luka.

Alya: (To Marinette): Is the compass going crazy?

(’Captain Hardrock’)

On the other hand, Kagami’s debut episode ending focuses on how she craves friends and would love to get to know a friend of Adrien’s, along with her competitiveness and desire to win in a now-friendly rivalry that grows into a friendship and then romance, rather than love at first sight. Just like the meetings between Marinette/Adrien and Ladybug/Chat Noir, it sets the scene and promises more to come, rather than laying all the cards on the table and basically just stating “yeah, this character’s just gonna be a love interest and just be chill and co-exist with their love rival” like the Marinette/Luka and Adrien/Luka ones do.

Adrien: Please, take it. (He again holds out Kagami’s saber to her.)

Kagami: (She glances between Adrien and her saber for a moment before taking it back) I’ll be happy to get to know your friend Marinette! (She and Adrien bow to each other. She and Adrien look at each other for a moment before Adrien holds out his hand.)

Adrien: My name’s Adrien. What’s yours?

Kagami: Kagami. (She takes Adrien’s proffered hand and shakes it, then walks to her car. She looks back at Adrien.) Get ready for that decisive match!

Adrien: I can’t wait, Kagami.

So basically, to give him depth, I wouldn’t focus so much on his guitar. I’d maybe show someone getting annoyed that he defaults to his guitar, because we got one line in ‘Captain Hardrock’ that he finds it easier to speak through music but it doesn’t really flesh him out since no one else comments on it or gets annoyed by it. It’s a trait that’s got nothing else to work off, whereas Kagami’s awkward attempts to socialise with Marinette and her abrasive manner clash with Marinette’s misconceptions of her and create that scene in ‘Ikari Gozen’ where Marinette realises that she’s treated Kagami awfully and Kagami said that she wasn’t worthy of Marinette’s friendship. Like Luka’s guitar, Kagami’s awkwardness and bluntness aren’t inherently a flaw, but they act as one in certain circumstances and end up fleshing her out just that little bit more.

I’d focus a little more on his relationships with everyone else. At least with Kagami, we know that she’s awkward and has no friends outside of Adrien (and later Marinette), so it makes sense that she wouldn’t have very many other relationships. We’ve even seen her relationship with her mother and how her few friendships - Adrien and Marinette - are influencing her to change and become more rebellious, such as the escape scene in ‘Heart Hunter’. I’m not counting Instagram posts, otherwise I’d point out Kagami spending time with Marinette’s friends as well and bonding with them as more evidence. But Luka’s part of a band and canonically hangs out with Marinette and her friends, so to break him free of just being a satellite love interest to orbit around Marinette, just show him interacting with others independent of Marinette. Show more of him being a big brother to Juleka; show how he interacts with Rose, as Juleka’s best friend; show the relationship between him and his mother, because they seem to be more like house(boat)mates at this point, and Anarka and Tomoe have had roughly the same amount of screen time, especially with their kids.

I’d also make him a little more of a rival to Adrien. He doesn’t have to be mean and antagonistic like how the Marinette/Kagami rivalry started - a rivalry doesn’t necessarily have to be negative - but he does have to show some reaction to losing Marinette to Adrien. All he ever does is push her into Adrien’s arms, which is all well and good to show how selfless he is, but he’s never visibly upset. His smile never wavers. He never shows any sign of being upset at losing the girl he supposedly loves to someone else; he’s basically just The Perfect Boyfriend who’s willing to let Marinette go if it means her happiness with no hurt feelings on his part, and the only force of rivalry that he exerts on Adrien is just making Adrien think that Marinette’s into him and therefore isn’t available, which isn’t even anything that Luka himself does, so I can’t even give that credit to him. He just…exists. While Marinette pushes Adrien and Kagami together for Adrien’s happiness, she shows outward signs of distress. She still gets jealous even though this is a decision she made. She’s sad over it. She’s human. But Luka? You could probably replace him with a pot plant and nothing would change.

#miraculous ladybug #ml analysis #luka couffaine #luka salt #anti lukanette #anti-lukanette #ask #aotq babbles #if only this essay was for university #I got it done in like an hour flat lmao

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wscldier · 3 years

Text

okay okay i’ve watched the episode again and i have thoughts. they’re under the cut below since i can’t post original stuff without like a million personals finding my blog

note these are not in order, so pls watch the episode fully before you read

sebastian goddamn stan deserves a goddamn oscar nomination already. i felt more emotion dripping from that scene in wakanda than i’ve ever felt in my goddamn life. his sadness, his fury, his confusion, his rage and his pain. the way he’s convinced that he’s gonna hurt ayo or do something terrible and then the immediate relief he felt afterwards? the confusion at it though, he’s free but now what? he’s free to do what? seb, you are one of the most talented underrated actors right now and honestly watching that scene was incredible. the man’s ability to portray so many emotions and really make you feel with single looks is just... it’s something else. holy moses.

also thank you for showing us how skilled bucky is, like speaking Xhosa? yes. he would have learnt that during his time in wakanda and he must have picked it up FAST

z*mo is a bitch and i hate him. no seriously. guy is a n*zi in the comics, just because he did a couple of dad moves doesn’t redeem him for what he’s done

sam standing up for bucky against z*mo is just excellent. z*mo saying all super soldiers have to be eliminated and sam asking “what about bucky?” because sam knows bucky didn’t have a choice in the matter.

sam is also talking to sharon. keeping her in the loop.

as for the power broker... i honestly don’t think we’ll get a reveal on who he is. i personally believe it’s another computer that z*la downloaded himself onto ( it would explain how the powerbroker is so well connected and can text karli ) or it’s general ross ----- who back in the incredible hulk pushed for the super soldier serum to be made. i think it’s much more likely to be z*la but i’m curious to see where it goes. again, i think the power broker is going to be a slow reveal. we might not even get an idea of who he is until the armor wars movie.

karli using sarah as bargaining against sam was cold and cruel

again, highlighting that bucky is massively talented and skilled, that he actually holds back a lot when he’s fighting and he can actually run and jump and move at incredible speeds. very good. i also think it’s interesting to point out that bucky didn’t get the “true” version of the serum. so people saying he’s nerfed against other super soldiers can shut up. these guys got pure unfiltered serum. bucky got a botched version.

sam using his counselling to try and talk karli down? heck he was getting somewhere as well and fucking w*lker turns up

i knew... i knew w*lker was going to do something stupid like take the serum. i knew that it was gonna send him into a blind rage i knew it was going to make things bad.

killing battlestar? that was... i mean i was expecting something like that to be the catalyst behind w*lkers rage. but i’m still a little disappointed that even in a racially charged piece of media, the black character gets killed. maybe that was the intention, maybe it was there to highlight, it’s not for me to say, but it made me feel uncomfortable.

the dora milaje can get it. and will ayo accept my hand in marriage please and thank you.

bucky shouting “looking good john” whilst w*lker is fighting ayo is one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen in my life then him asking ayo to talk about this?

okay over the last like 10 days all i’ve seen is like people laughing that bucky can remove his arm. i am glad finally that it proved something that only wakandans with knowledge about this technology can remove it. bucky can’t slip it on and off like a fucking glove. every tiktok i saw talking about it made me groan internally

also, bucky’s anger is so justified. like z*mo is using leverage against him, and he’s pissed as hell because the wakandans have done nothing but help and save him and he promised them he’d give them z*mo and he can’t do that till z*mo gives him the information. bucky’s anger is rightfully justified and z*mo is pushing him over the edge. it’s heartbreaking to watch.

the ending was... it was... oh god. it was extremely gory and i’m surprised that the house of mouse allowed the writers to push the show that dark. whether you like it or not, that shield is sold to thousands of kids across the world, it’s on toys, lunchboxes, folders, pencil cases. to soak the symbol like that with the blood of... okay he maybe wasn’t necessarily innocent, but he wasn’t exactly guilty either is... extremely hard-hitting. like extremely hard hitting.

i noted that after w*lker took the serum i heard traces of orchestra playing the same low mechanical tune that they use to introduce the winter soldier theme. now, this might be a coincidence given that h*nry j*ckman is the music producer, but also because h*nry j*ckman is the music producer i’m inclined to think it’s not. w*lker for better or for worse is a tool used by the US government. he is the antithesis of what bucky was to hydra. the perfect soldier. the perfect weapon. whereas steve broke away from that the second he got the serum, it seems w*lker is falling down the path that bucky was put on.

i genuinely think that bucky is going to have to fight w*lker because no one else is strong enough.

sharon is around but not in the episode nearly enough. i wanted more. i’m glad though she’s being the coolest spy ever. i’m hoping we get more interactions with her sam and bucky next episode.

the shot at the end where everyone is crowding around w*lker? bucky and sam looking on? that was... haunting.

#|| OOC #the bird and the robot spoilers #f.atws spoilers

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miracul0us-multishipper · 5 years

Text

Welcome to the back (Part 7)

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter

You want Evelyn to yell at Lila? You get Evelyn yelling at Lila!

Here you go:

Cordelia Cess was a smart woman. She hadn’t won Evelyn Leanne’s favor because of her looks (though they may have played a role in winning her heart) but because she was hardworking, had an eye for details and - most importantly - had a talent for seeing through people.

So when Lila Rossi stood in their salon, only minutes after Miss Dupain-Cheng had left and Felix had begun his violin lessons, she instantly knew this girl was trouble.

“Thank you for having me.”, the girl said to Evelyn in a voice so sickly sweet, Cordelia was sure it would stick to the yellow tapestries like chewing gum. “I originally wanted to speak to you and Felix together, but I think it might actually be better to talk to you alone.”

Lila was facing Evelyn in the middle of the room, whereas Cordelia stood at the wall. She had perfect view of both of their profiles; could see every hidden doubt in Evelyn’s lovely brown eyes and every twitch in Lila’s faked smile without being spared a glance by the girl. It had its advantages to be an assistant. She was often overlooked.

“I would have asked Felix to postpone his lesson if I knew there was another friend of my son visiting. Maybe prepared some biscuits.”, Evelyn replied, careful to appear accommodating. “But I was busy for a while and just now received your message.”

Lila waved it off.

“That’s no problem, I won’t stay for long. Felix brings enough sweets as it is, he basically showers me in them. He’s so generous.”

Another red flag. Cordelia remembered exactly that Felix had brought biscuits to school on two occasions: the first time when he wanted to stay at the art room for a while longer, and the other time specifically for Miss Dupain-Cheng because she had liked them so much. He had never mentioned any Lila, and while he did like to be secretive, he always shared good experiences with Cordelia, sometimes even before he talked to his mother. She took great pride in the fact he trusted her, and would have remembered Lila’s name.

She gave Evelyn a short glance, and her love nodded slightly. She had picked it up as well.

“That... surprises me, Mademoiselle Rossi.”

Lila’s posture crumbled ever so slightly, before recovering almost instantly.

“I already suspected that, Madame Leanne. There may be some things you don’t know about your son, which is why I am here.”

Cordelia raised an eyebrow at that, but Evelyn kept her smile.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. Did Felix tell you about his first day at school?”

He had been surprisingly quiet that day, Cordelia realized in retrospect. Had told his mother about his first friend, and later asked her to reschedule his violin lessons to accommodate more time on Thursdays he could spend at the art room. His calligraphy had improved even more since then.

But about what actually happened that day...

“Surely, you know how passionate he is about his poems.”, Lila continued. “He showed me a few, even wrote one for me in secret.”

Cordelia doubted every word in that sentence.

“That day, his note book was stolen right out of his bag. The thief gave it back, but could evade repercussions by claiming she didn’t know how it came into her possession. Since Felix didn’t want to call her out in public - you know how composed he is - she managed to get closer to him this week.”

Evelyn gave her a questioning look, but for once, Cordelia wasn’t sure what to think. She shrugged slightly, and Evelyn turned back to Lila.

“That sounds... concerning. Why are you telling me this?”

Lila sighed dramatically and lowered her head.

“My parents are diplomats, you see? Just like Felix, I spend much of my life secluded for my own safety, and I know how he feels. I simply want him to be happy, and right now, I fear he might associate with the wrong people. François-Dupon is likely the greatest school in Paris, but there are people you shouldn’t mingle with. I want to help him, but he can be so secretive. I’m sure he just doesn’t want to burden me, his best friend, with his worries, but I see it as my duty and privilege to protect him.”

She smiled, holding out her hand.

“I was hoping you would help me with that!”

Evelyn, ignoring the outstretched hand, narrowed her eyes.

“What help did you have in mind?”

“Oh, just a bit more information. I thought, maybe I could tell you more about his day at school, watch out for him a little, and in return you would tell me more about what he likes, maybe allow him to invite me for some photo shoots so he doesn’t feel lonely.”

Evelyn’s smile widened and Cordelia almost sighed in admiration.

This smile was no friendly gesture. This was the famous Battle Smirk of the Leanne Family.

The grin a lioness gave her prey.

Someone who didn’t know this family very well might come to the conclusion Felix inherited his tactical mind and aggressive way of speaking his mind from his father. Cordelia however knew them well enough to say with confidence he came after his mother.

Evelyn Leanne might be an easy-going host, a loving mother and devoted lover. But she was also a ruthless businesswoman, ambitious creator and calculating opponent. Up to this point, she had been humoring Rossi. Now, however, the girl had gone too far.

“Thank you so much for the offer.”, Evelyn said, her eyes blazing with barely contained fury. “Of course I am more than happy to let you spy on my son for me, in exchange for breaching his privacy so you can follow him around. As you expected, I don’t care about my son’s wishes in the slightest, and do not doubt a word you just said.”

Oh yes, the Leanneian Sarcasm. If Cordelia hadn’t already been in love, she would have fallen for her now.

Lila’s smile fell and she raised her hands defensively.

“Oh no, that’s not what I-“

“Listen here, young Lady.”, Evelyn interrupted, turning her back on her. “I did not come this far by ignoring warning signs, and I wouldn’t be as decent a mother as I am if I believed every random fan’s claim of how my son is close with them and needs them around. And most importantly, I trust my son. If he thinks he can handle this environment, he absolutely will.”

She looked back at Lila over her shoulder, enough disgust in her eyes to intimidate a rubbish bin.

“I do not know how you got this address, or my phone number, because despite your claims, there is no way Felix gave them to you. But if you use either of them ever again, be assured that I will not show any mercy, nor remorse when I am done with you.”

Lila slowly backed away, face contorting between anger and sheer terror. But Evelyn was not through with her yet.

“I have had my fair share of people like you, Mademoiselle Rossi. People who can’t feel a connection to others that goes deeper than a shallow obsession, a jealous possessiveness at best. I will not tolerate any of that towards my child, and certainly not assist you. If you have even an ounce of respect for Felix, I recommend you stay away from him. Because, dear child,” she said, lowering her voice and leaning down to her, “should he ever even mention you in any negative context whatsoever, I will have a long, nice chat with both your diplomat parents and your teachers, that will leave you at a significantly less than favorable position. Did I make myself clear?”

Lila nodded, eyes wide and swallowing down her pride.

“Y-Yes, Madame.”

Evelyn smiled, all threat vanishing from her posture.

“Splendid! Now, how about you leave this house very fast and do not return until it has been either sold, destroyed, or crumbled of age?”

Lila bailed as if kicked in the butt, and Cordelia sighed. These kind of fangirls always gave her a headache.

“That should do the trick.”, Evelyn said and crossed her arms. “We won’t see that one again anytime soon.”

Cordelia frowned, watching through the window how Lila left the garden.

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“What do you mean?”

She replayed the encounter in her mind, focusing on Lila’s behavior.

“She was too confident. She was absolutely convinced this would work, but she didn’t make a delusional impression on me. My guess is that she already tried something similar on someone else, and it worked.”

She sighed.

“I fear she’s going to try again, with a new tactic. Likely not involving us, since your threat should have made clear we don’t buy her stories.”

Evelyn tapped her chin, as usual when she was thinking.

“You might have a point. I’ll talk to Felix as soon as his lessons are over.”

She frowned.

“Do you think the theft part was a lie as well? He didn’t bring his notebook to school anymore, after all.”

Cordelia’s eyes narrowed, remembering Lila’s choice of words.

“It’s possible, though the scenario likely differed from Rossi’s description. I think she was trying to imply that Miss Dupain-Cheng was the thief, since she is the only one close to Felix we have met.”

“I don’t believe her.”

“Of course not. Felix would never let anybody get away with taking his book, or breaching his privacy in general. We should probably work on his manners, now that I think of it, Monsieur Galette complained about his “impolite criticism” regarding his teaching methods yesterday.”

She shook her head, focusing on the problem at hand.

“The point is, while her portrayal of Felix was flattering, it was unrealistic and likely only served to make you trust her. People tend to believe what they’d like to hear.”

Evelyn’s sigh was heavy with concern.

“I don’t like this at all, ‘Delia.”, Evelyn admitted. “Maybe moving to Paris was a bad idea after all.”

“Now, now.”, Cordelia calmed her. “Don’t read too much into this. She’s just a child. An intruding and probably obsessed child, but nothing we can’t handle.”

“She had access to private information, she just walked into our house! What else will she get if she keeps digging?”

“Evie.”

Cordelia brushed her bangs out of her face, locking eyes with her.

“It’ll be alright. I know you worry for him, but Felix is clever, and he knows what to watch out for. Just look at today! He brought a friend over, and such a sweet one too. He can handle himself, darling.”

Evelyn inhaled deeply.

“You’re right.” She nodded, voice still a bit wobbly, but calmer now. “You’re right. We can do this.”

She sighed again and nuzzled her nose against Cordelia’s.

“Thank you.”

With a nod and a small peck on her lips, Cordelia let go of her face. Evelyn straightened, her chin lifted by determination.

“Now! Let’s talk to that silly son of mine and get this story straight!”

Her grin returned.

“And tease him about this fashionable cutie he calls bench mate!”

Cordelia rolled her eyes at Evelyn’s childishness, but couldn’t help the smile that spread on her own face.

What a wonderful woman, her love.

Outside, a brunette girl ran down the street, phone out and dialing. Her plan had failed, dramatically so. There was no repetition of her deal with Gabriel Agreste like she’d hoped, and no compromise either. But she was not beaten yet.

“Réne Bordeaux here, what do you want?”, a bored voice answered the phone and Lila came to a stand.

“Monsieur Bordeaux, my name is Lila Rossi.”, she introduced herself, barely suppressing her fury.

“We need to talk.”

The next day, Nino was extra early to school. He hadn’t seen Adrien after school the day before - his poor best friend was caught up in a shit ton of photo shoots - so he hadn’t had a chance to talk to him about Marinette. He was grateful Lila had told him about their issue, and more than happy to help.

He sighed.

Not that he blamed her, but ever since Lila had joined their class, school had been nothing but trouble. Even more akumas than usual, Marinette acting weirdly aggressive, Alya being busy all the time, a new seating order... and now this whole mess with Felix.

Geez, he really missed the time where it had just been the four of them. But, well... if Lila wanted to join their little group, who was he to tell her off. He was sure once everything calmed down again, they’d laugh about all this drama. Hell, even Felix would have to chill sooner or later.

“Hey, Adrien!”, he called his friend when he saw him climb the stairs in front of him. “Wait a sec!”

“Huh?”

Huffing and puffing Nino caught up to him. Damn, he really should get Alya to train with him again. Carapace had to be in top form when Lb needed him.

“Nino! Everything alright?”

“Yeah, dude, it’s- phew! It’s fine.”

Only then he realized he had no idea how to go about this. If he brought up Marinette and Felix out of the blue, Adrien would probably get suspicious. He might not be very observant, but he was clever enough to realize Lila must have spilled something.

Nino didn’t want to be the cause of more trouble, especially between Lila and Adrien. They were pretty much the only ones out of their group that got along fine right now, as far as he was aware.

“I, uh, I just wanted to walk with my best bro to class! You know, how Felix and Mari do all the time.”

Nailed it.

Adrien looked up, regarding him with concern.

“Oh... they really do that?”

Oh man, he was still doubting it.

“Sure! They hang out all the time, you know? They have lunch together, work together, just now they went to the library together. I almost think Alya’s getting jealous of how close they are.”

A lie. Alya has been weirdly quiet about Marinette, lately. She was so busy updating her blog, or helping Lila or something else. He was a bit bummed about that, if he was being honest.

“Nino, do you think...”, Adrien started, still looking uncomfortable. “do you think Felix could, you know, rub off on her?”

“Uh...”

He didn’t know what to make of that question. Lila had said Adrien was worried Marinette and Felix didn’t get along. He should calm him down, since they were obviously friends. So... maybe rubbing off on each other would emphasize they were close?

“Yeah.”, he said. “Totally. Haven’t you noticed? Lila said“ – dangerous territory! – “Marinette, Uh, is so much like Felix!”

Goddamn, what was he even saying here? Marinette was the opposite of Felix! He made zero sense right now!

Adrien however seemed to get something out of his twaddle.

“I see.”

Nino really hoped that, but Adrien’s worried face told him differently.

“I uh... forgot something in the car.”, his best friend stammered and turned around. “Go ahead, I’ll be right back.”

Not waiting for an answer, he ran off and left a very confused Nino behind.

Damn.

He’d messed up, hadn’t he?

With an exasperated sigh, he turned around - only to walk straight into Lila.

“Woah! Dude, you scared me!”

“How did it go?”, Lila asked impatiently. Straight to the point, huh?

“Well I... don’t think he’s cool now.”, Nino admitted. “I told him about how often they hang, y’know, and that they like, influence each other? Honestly, I don’t know what I just said. I’m not good at this whole subtle thing. Kinda feels like lying, you know?”

Lila smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Nino, you did great! I’ll check up on him later, I’m sure he understood exactly what you meant. You’re best friends after all!”

“Um... I guess? Phew!”

He sure hoped she was right. She did look happy, so there was probably nothing to worry about.

“Come on!”, Lila waved him on as she turned around. “Let’s go to class. I have to tell you and the others what happened yesterday.”

“She did what?!”, Marinette hissed incredulously and Felix glared at her.

“Why don’t you just scream it out the window? I’m sure there’s some pigeons on the roof you haven’t startled yet.”

“Right, Sorry.”

They had been at the library, searching for more ideas for Marinette’s report, when Felix had told her about the conversation with his mother that had occurred after his lessons. About a less than welcome surprise guest.

“I just can’t believe it!”, Marinette raged on, stomping up the stairs so hard the metal groaned and trembled. “She just- just- waltzed into your house and had the guts to propose something like that! How did she even get your address? And your mother’s private number?!”

He shrugged, having used up his anger last night already. Now he only felt a hint of annoyance, paired with disgust. Why couldn’t Lila just stick to Agreste? She was like a fly that tirelessly bumped into a window, never learning, never going away despite not making any progress at all. Almost pitiful.

“Mum said she claimed I had given both to her. I suspect she found her contact when she stole my book, and maybe just followed us when we walked home? She seems like the type do that.”

Marinette shook her head as they walked up to the classroom.

“No, she wouldn’t be that obvious. She’s someone who likes to make others do her work, to simply give her what she wants on a silver platter. It’s scary.”

Felix eyed her from the side.

“Look... I know you are against speaking up against her, and I respect that. I don’t understand it in the slightest, but it’s not my affair.”

His hands twitched and he came to a stand, Marinette stopping next to him.

“But Marinette, I’m not going to just pass this off.”, he said seriously, looking as if he was prepared for some kind of protest on her part. “She came to my home, to try to play my family out against me. I’m going to give her a piece of my mind, and I won’t bother with politeness.”

She nodded, to his obvious surprise.

“Sure. I’m right behind you if you need me, and maybe try not to get too loud. Madame Mendeleiev will go nuts if you disturb her preparations downstairs.”

He blinked.

“Oh. Yes, thank you.”

She studied his expression, leaning her head to the side.

“Felix, is something the matter?”

“No. Lila aside, of course. I was just... I assumed you would attempt to dissuade me, given your usual behavior.”

Huffing, she raised a fist.

“What? Do I make the impression I’m not up for a fight?!”

The fact she was almost a head shorter than him, and her obviously faked pout made him roll his eyes and smile at once.

“That’s not it, oh great Muscle-Marinette. I’m just... We joked about her ridiculous lies so often together, and you know she’s using your friends, but... you never did anything about it. I thought you don’t want her to be confronted, and expected at least some resistance from you.”

The playfulness vanished from her face and she looked away.

“I... I know. And I can guess what you must think of me.”

As if he was capable of thinking badly of her.

“Trust me, if I could, I would show everyone just what kind of menace she really is. I’d even drag Ladybug herself here if I had to! But I... I already said I would let her be. I promised someone a-and I don’t want to go back on that.”

Felix watched her in surprise.

It made sense, now that he thought about it. The way she looked at Rossi whenever she opened her mouth, but shrank away as soon as she looked at her. The way she had acted when she had accused her of stealing. And when he went through their past interactions, he already had a hunch who had made her give that promise.

“Marinette, you don’t have to-“

“Nah-ah. Don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

He sighed, but complied and started walking again.

“As you wish. But I’ll get back to that later.”

“You can try.”

He clicked his tongue.

“Let’s go yell at Rossi for now.”

Marinette perked up.

“Sounds good to me. Oh! Speaking of the devil.”

They had arrived at the classroom, where Lila was currently surrounded by their classmates.

“...really, it‘s no big deal.”, insisted Lila with feigned humility, looking as uncomfortable as her acting skills allowed. Marinette knew instantly this was bad.

“Oh, hey guys.”, the liar added as she saw them.

“You have some nerves to just-“, Felix began, but Alya interrupted him.

“Oh, shut up Frosty, Lila’s trying to explain.”

Felix’ eyes narrowed.

“Explain what? How she got my address, my mother’s contact, or the idea she could manipulate her way into my privacy?!”

“You ungrateful little-“

“Alya!”, Lila stopped her, crocodile tears in her eyes. “Please, it’s not his fault.”

“My fault?!”

Marinette stood back, trying to comprehend what was going on. Lila hurried to deliver.

“I was on my way to an important meeting when I walked past your house, Felix, and saw you and Marinette go in. I would’ve said hello, but I was already late. Nino saw me just before, right?”

“Uh, yeah!”, Nino confirmed, surprised to be dragged into this mess. “Yeah, she was in a hurry.”

“So when the meeting was over, I remembered that we still don’t know who stole your book last week. I thought, since we had such a bad start maybe I could surprise you by helping you investigate, and was asking your mother if she would help me to watch out for you a little.”

A hint of a grin danced over her face, before her exasperated expression returned.

“If I had known you didn’t tell your mother about the incident to protect the thief,” she said sickly-sweet, “I wouldn’t have involved her, of course.”

Felix froze. His eyebrows twitched and he looked at Lila like he was about to throw hands. But the twitch in his wrists and his defensive stance betrayed his emotions to Marinette.

He felt helpless.

For someone that was used to straightforward and blunt words, Lila’s evasive lies were more than frustrating. Anger welled up in Marinette.

This girl just didn’t know when to stop. Felix’ poetry might be his greatest passion, but his relationship with his mother was sacred to him.

And Lila, the girl that couldn’t think beyond her own selfish desires, wanted to use that. To harm that.

Marinette straightened. She’d apologize to Adrien later, but there was no way she’d leave Felix alone in this now!

“You’re making no sense!”, Marinette threw her promise to Adrien into the void. “Then when did you call his mother? Where did you even get her number? And why would Felix want to “protect the thief”?!”

“Why, indeed.”, Lila murmured, her eyes fixing on Marinette. Felix next to her growled.

“Seriously?! You’re accusing her again?!”

“I’m not! I would never accuse anyone like that.”

“Well, I would.”, Felix snapped back. “You stole my book, you stole my Mum’s contact while you were at it, and you keep framing the only person with common sense in this class!”

Lila looked to the ground, as if upset.

“Look, Felix, I know you don’t like me and I want to change that, but if you keep trying to make me look bad, I might get akumatized. I don’t want Ladybug to have to fight her best friend again.”

Marinette groaned.

“This isn’t about him trying to make you look bad, this is about you breaking his privacy once again!”

“Marinette”, Alya intervened. “She only wanted to help! Give her a break, girl. Ladybug doesn’t need another akumatization this week, and sure not her best friend’s.”

Argh! This was enough.

“For god’s sake, Alya, she isn’t Ladybug’s best-“

“Marinette!”, a voice from the door called her and she froze. Adrien stood there, shock and something like fear in his eyes.

“Marinette, do you have a second?”

Oh-oh.

- - -

Tags: @crazycookie13o @a-6-yearold-inside @sinfulfoxbeast @kuroko26 @sternsneeze @zeyheartstaylor @elliecake5 @kristycocopop @yamadochie @sofmimis @enigmaticagitator @offically-over-it @earth-demon @juhavs @omgelisahagemanuniverse @owllover132 @kaydenth3gayden @janaikam @mewwitch @bluerosette23 @fanboy7794 @slytherin-batbitch @fanatic-kay @shadowberrybinch @angstyrastuff @loosescrewslefty @im-here-for-the-content @lexysama @anonymouse-thoughts @chxtons @ilseofskadi @fafik7 @bloody-no-kissu @himevampirechan @goldenmoonbeam @chrismarium @akiyukiko @heaven428 @magnitude101999 @jazzybabycakes @edith-of-the-moon @ayuchan07 @orrabbit @karin-ochibi-chan @queersnake @maddrag @theonemagic @clumsy-owl-4178 @viverse @sizzling-fairy-oil @a-marlene-s @hanabiri @shine-brightandbeautiful @sleepyconspirator @wonderbreadnicoinwonderland @cxndy-stxrs @ginamariepotterhead

#miramu writes #wttb #welcome to the back #miraculous ladybug #mlb #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #felix leanne #ml felix #felinette #felinette fanfic

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woozibby · 4 years

Text

Control | Jihoon | Part 2

a.n. originally posted to my shared blog, but moving everything to here- my main blog.

Last | 2 | Next

You had lost count of how long you had been sat in Jihoon’s car. He had called you earlier that day and told you to get ready to leave.

Your life had changed completely.

Instead of hiding because your brother wanted to keep you safe, now you had to hide because Choi Seungcheol wanted you dead- he thought you were dead. You bite your lip and stare out the window as you watched the senary changed.

Jihoon blinked, his eyes moving to you. He let out a small sigh and tapped his fingers lightly on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry this happened” You turned your head to look at him.

“It’s okay I guess, I knew something like this could have happened when I started doing tech for my brother” You spoke, your voice came out soft. You had become numb like you could feel nothing.

“I promise I’ll do whatever I can to protect you,” Jihoon says, you scoff quietly to yourself. You felt the anger inside of you bubbling up.

“That’s funny considering they sent you to kill me” Jihoon pushed his lips into a thin line.

“I was there to warn your brother” You rolled your eyes and moved suddenly so you were facing Jihoon.

“And what are you going to do if Seungcheol finds out you lied? Is he going to send you to kill me properly? Is he going to kill you and then send someone else to kill me?” Jihoon suddenly pulled over and turned to you. He didn’t look that pissed off, just extremely annoyed.

“That isn’t going to happen, he isn’t going to find out” As if all your anger suddenly vanished from your body, you let out a sigh.

“You said yourself that it isn’t easy to fool Seungcheol”

Jihoon went silent as he watched you. It was like he was thinking of what to say next, of what he could possibly say to disprove something he did indeed say himself.

“Seungcheol won’t find out, even if he does, we’ll both be long gone before he can even get a hand on us” His voice sounded so genuine, that even if you didn’t want to listen, even if you didn’t want to believe him, you still did. He gently took your hand in his. “I promise you, I won’t let anything happen to you”

After the moment passed, Jihoon started the car up again and began driving again. Your eyes stayed on him, his black hair messy from his hands running through it. Two more words leave his lips in mumbles.

“I promise”

It was early morning by the time Jihoon pulled up to a small bungalow. It was quite a small place made out of dark grey stone and a wooden roof and it was surrounded by a large forest, with nothing around it for miles.

Pulling into the garage, Jihoon closes the garage door behind him using a remote control. Getting out of the car, he beckons you to follow as he unlocks the boot and takes out all your stuff.

Following his orders, you get out the car right as he hands over some of your bags and flinging his duffle bag over his shoulder and holding another bag in his hand.

“I’ll show you where your room is” You stayed silent, just following along after him as he walks through the building. You pass a living room, a kitchen and a bathroom before you get to two rooms right at the back of the house. “This is yours,” He says, opening the door to the room on the left. “Each room is the same size so don’t think I’m saving a larger bedroom for myself” He chuckles.

The bedroom was bare. It had white walls, a navy blue carpet and a double bed with plan sheets on top.

“Thank you,” you said, examining the room.

“Keep the room as bare as you can, just in case we have to leave again” Jihoon adviced. You simply nodded your head and turned to face him.

“I’m sorry about how I was in the car” Jihoon held up his hands, showing you it was okay. A small smile played on his lips and he nodded his head.

“Don’t worry about it, I understand it’s not an easy situation to be in so, of course, you’re not going to know how to react” Your eyes stayed on him for a moment, before letting out a sigh and turning back around to unpack your bags.

“I’m only going to unpack a few clothes just so I have something out” You explain, you didn’t hear a response from Jihoon so you just assumed he nodded his head.

“(Y/N),” He started, you lifted your head up as he continued “there are still two things we have to do”

“What’s that?”

“We have to dye and cut your hair, it’s just so no one can recognise you” You blinked as your hand went up to your hair. You frowned but nodded your head anyways.

“Okay, let’s do that”

You didn’t want to, but you knew it had to be done.

He took hold of your hand, before guiding you to the bathroom and pulling out some hair dye from the bathroom cupboard.

“This’ll bleach your hair, so your hair will turn a light colour” Jihoon explained. You wanted to make a witty comment about you knowing what hair bleach was, but you stayed quiet. “We also need to cut your hair, but let’s do the bleach first as it’ll be easier to cut after”

He sat you down on the bath side and got everything out from the packet and started to mix everything together.

“You’ll need to take your hoodie off, it’ll stain it otherwise,” He said, not turning you face you. Luckily, you had an old t-shirt on underneath your hoodie, so you quickly took it off and finger brushed your hair out of your face. By the time Jihoon was done mixing everything, he turned back and let out a small sigh. “This’ll be fine”

You nodded your head and he stepped forward and carefully began to spread the bleach over your hair.

You silently watched him, looking up through your eyelashes. You noticed how his tongue stuck out slightly as he concentrated and how every time he’d apply more bleach, he’d blink rapidly.

He must be so used to doing this… You thought to yourself.

The first time you met him, he had deep dark red hair, but after he helped you and your brother fake your death he dyed his hair to black. He didn’t both to cut it, so it still fell to above his eyes.

“You having fun?” He suddenly spoke, surprising you.

“What do you mean?” You ask, blinking up at home

“Well, you’re watching me very intently”

“Because I was wondering, you must be used to this, the first time we met you had red hair and well now you don’t” He chuckled as you explained, the smile played on his lips even after he stopped chuckling and you stopped talking.

“Oh I remember the red hair,” He chuckled again, “from what I recall, you liked it very much” he joked. “I remember you calling me hot guy”

You rolled your eyes and made a face, sending Jihoon a displeased look.

“That was like two days ago, stop acting like it happened twenty years ago” The smile stayed on Jihoon’s lips.

“Anyways, to answer your question, yes I am used to it” You blinked again, as you continued to watch him through your eyelashes.

“Why?”

“Because everytime I complete a- um- job, I dye my hair” His explanation came out awkward, his face showed the same awkwardness his words brought.

“Jihoon,” you start, when he hums, you continue. “Why do you do what you do?”

Being an assassin you meant. He knew that you meant, you could see it in his eyes. Jihoon took a deep breath in and he paused before shaking his head.

“That’s a story for a different time”

“Or is that just your way of ending the conversation so you don’t have to tell me?” He shook his head.

“No, I mean, I know I’ll have to tell you at some point, but this isn’t the time nor is it the place to have that conversation just yet”

“You promise you’ll tell me eventually?” Your voice went soft again. Jihoon found it hard to not melt at your voice and to take you into his arms then and there. Somehow, he kept going, he kept placing the bleach throughout your hair, and he ignored the little voice badgering him in his head.

“I promise”

It was about 50 minutes by the time the bleach had done its thing and you had washed it out. You sat again, on the side of the bath with Jihoon in front of you as he got ready to cut your hair.

The bleach had worked okay, some of your hair was light, whereas some has gone a more golden copper colour. It wasn’t bad, but then it wasn’t the best either.

“It’ll be better once I cut your hair” Jihoon explains. “It’ll have to be cut to about your chin”

“Okay”

You let Jihoon do his thing and start to slowly cut at your hair. You sighed quietly as you watched the piece of hair fall down, landing on not only the floor but on you as well.

After some time, Jihoon finished up by gently running his fingers through your hair and brushing off some of the hair that has fallen onto your shoulders.

“I know I’m not an expert, but I hope you think this is okay” you stood up, and turned to look into the mirror was that position above the sink. Running your hands through it you sighed again.

Obviously, it wasn’t going to be the cleanest cut you’ve ever had, but a smile still graced your lips.

“It’s perfect, thank you” Jihoon chuckled, placing the scissors down on the side.

“You don’t have to lie to make me happy,” He said, raising an eyebrow slightly as he watched you through the mirror. You turned to him and his eyes followed.

“No, I mean it, I really do like it”

You both stood there smiling for a moment before Jihoon snapped back and rubbed the back of his neck.

“There’s still one more thing we have to do” You raised an eyebrow.

“And what’s that?” You ask, if you weren’t interested before, you definitely we’re now.

“We have to make some rules”

Three Weeks Later

Your eyes glanced at the list of rules that were held up against the fridge with a magnet.

‘They’re to keep you safe’ Jihoon’s voice rang in your head. You let out a huff and roll your eyes as you quickly open the fridge and grab a soda before slamming it shut.

You understood the rules were there to keep you safe, but it had been three weeks without any connection to the internet- to a goddamn computer. You felt like your mind was going crazy.

Running a hand through your hair, you opened your soda and chugged at it until you could drink no more. You were alone, bored out of your mind with nothing to do.

“I’m going crazy” You gasped, throwing yourself onto the couch. A laugh caused you to jump up and fall off of the couch and onto the floor.

“You’ve always been crazy” Mingyu was leant up against the door frame, with his arms crossed over his chest with a smirk playing at his lips. You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you picked yourself up from the floor.

“Oh, it’s just you” This time Mingyu rolled his eyes. He moved from the doorframe to the couch and sat down, he kept his arms crossed and he stretched his legs out over the couch, making you hiss at him. “Do you mind?” You hissed, trying to move his legs so you could sit down. Considering that he knew you couldn’t, he continued to laugh as he watched you struggle.

“No, I really don’t mind”

“Fine!” You spat, making a face before sitting yourself on his legs. You copied his actions by crossing your arms over your chest and train your eyes on the small tv.

You didn’t know why it was here, it barely picked up any stations and when it did it was an old classical radio channel or a random channel that played reruns of old tv shows. You couldn’t complain much, you were in the middle of nowhere.

“You know,” Mingyu started, you rolled your eyes, but waited for him to continue. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you with light hair” You went to curse at him, but before you could even mutter a word, he spoke again. “But it looks nice though”

You raised an eyebrow at him, watching him carefully. This was new and this definitely wasn’t Mingyu.

“What’s up with you? Have you been poisoned?”

“No, I have not been poisoned, let me just be nice for once” You gulped and you still had an eyebrow raised.

“I don’t like you being nice, it’s weird” Mingyu pushed his lips into a thin line before harshly moving his legs, making you fall to the floor again.

“There, better?” He asks and a smile covers your face as you giggle.

“Better”

Getting up from off the couch, Mingyu brushes his jeans off of whatever dust was possible on them and turned to you.

“I’ve brought you some stuff to keep you entertained” At this, you jumped up on your knees and sent him a hopeful look.

“Something to do with the internet?” Mingyu hissed and pointed to the kitchen,

“You know the rules” Letting out a whine, you stand up again and motion him to continue. “Follow me, there’s stuff in the car”

That’s what you do, you follow him to the garage and he opens the boot of the car and pulls out a large bag. Motioning you to walk back inside the house, you roll your eyes and then walk into the kitchen and sit at the table.

Mingyu dumped the bag onto the table and started to unload it. You raised an eyebrow once again.

“Art pads? Pencils? Paints? You know I can’t draw right?” You ask and Mingyu just hums.

“Well maybe this is your chance to learn something new” He continued to pull out some books from the bag as well as a cassette player. Picking up the cassette player, you send him a look.

“What is this? The 1980s?”

“Look, I know it’s not ideal, but this is so you hear some sort of music, if Jihoon could bring you an iPod he would, if I could bring you an iPod I would, but Wonwoo wants to make sure nothing happens to you, so until we can get to a safer place and be in a safer situation, you’re just going to have to deal with this” Mingyu ranted.”I know you’re trying your best and so are we, but you’re just going to have to deal with it”

You sighed, placing the cassette player back onto the table. Resting your head on the palm of your hand, you silently continue to watch Mingyu has he took items from out of the bag. He took out a large box of ramen before opening it up and placing the packets in the cupboard above the side.

“When is Jihoon coming back?” You ask, Mingyu just shrugs.

“Whenever his job is done"

”And wh-…“ Mingyu quickly turned around and sent you a look that shut you up mid-sentence.

"I don’t know, now stop asking questions, go to some drawing or whatever whilst I do some ramen” You huffed, picking up the pad of paper and pencils from the table and heading back into the living room.

You flipped to the first page of the sketchbook and sighed. What were you meant to draw when you can’t even draw?

You must have been sat there for a while because suddenly Mingyu came in with a pot of ramen. Placing the sketchbook down next to you, you move next to Mingyu and he passes you a pair of chopsticks.

“You don’t have to be amazing at drawing to create art, art isn’t just drawing and painting,” Mingyu says, digging into the ramen. He didn’t face you, but he continued to speak. “Just express how you feel even if it only makes sense to you”

A small smile covers your face as you start on the ramen. It didn’t matter how much you and Mingyu argued and bickered at each other, there was always going to be a mutual respect. He was like a brother to you.

“Just do what you normally do, just be good at being you”

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years

Text

ACITW AU one-shot “Downward Facing Doubts” (Rated M)

Summary: Kurt convinces Sebastian to join him, Olivia, Julian, and Cooper in a yoga class. 'Bribe' is actually the more accurate term. But whereas the endorphins released during exercise usually make people feel good, this time, they bring all sorts of doubts to the surface. (3760 words)

Notes: Takes place some time after 'Under the Fireworks' and references 'I Was Praying for You and Me'.

Part of ACITW AU extended verse

Read on AO3.

“Extend your arms out to your sides, then raise them over your head …” Yogi Cecile instructs, her soothing alto voice threading through the airy music playing over circular speakers scattered in Feng Shui formation throughout the studio. “Bend your back gently into a crescent moon …”

Sebastian breathes in sharply as he attempts the move, his shoulders quaking involuntarily as he tries to deepen the stretch. He finds his balance point, quite by surprise, then fights to hold it, difficult since his focus keeps drifting, his eyes darting to the side to check out the competition. He scowls, not thrilled at being one-upped by Julian who, infuriatingly, performs the move like an expert. But of course he would, Sebastian thinks with a bitter roll of his eyes, one that gives him a major headache with his head pulled back. Didn’t he claim that he attended some month-long yoga retreat in the High Desert for the sole purpose of fellating himself?

Even if Sebastian is a bit fuzzy on the particulars, his head swimming with a mixture of dizziness and pain that’s one more deep breath away from making him puke, that definitely sounds like the kind of thing Julian would do.

Olivia and Kurt, lined up to Sebastian’s right, switch from pose to pose without breaks, extending their arms and bending their backs as if standing on one leg and staring horizontally up at the pale pink ceiling were the normal position for, say, grabbing a coffee or looking at shoes. At least Sebastian isn’t faring the worst in their group. No, that honor goes to Cooper. Capping off their row to the far left of Julian, Cooper starts losing his balance, teetering forward dangerously towards a handful of innocent strangers unaware of the 180 pound man on the brink of bowling towards them.

“How …?” Sebastian starts, talking on the crest of an inhaled breath he’s running out of as he contorts into another ludicrous pose.

“Did you let me talk you into joining a yoga class?” Kurt finishes, sliding smoothly from a crescent moon into the next forward bend. “That’s easy. You’ll do anything for a blow---”

Olivia clears her throat loudly when she spots their instructor heading their way, eyes originally glued to Sebastian’s crooked posture but hopping to Kurt’s smug grin when the word ‘blow’ sneaks past his lips.

“Straighten your spine … lean forward … brace your hands on the mat in front of you … and extend one leg back to a half downward dog.” Cecile circles their quintet twice and Kurt thinks she’s about to scold them. They haven’t been properly engaged since the start of class. But then she hurries off to help another young lady square her hips.

“I refuse to believe that I’m that simple-minded,” Sebastian grouses, working on stabilizing his own hips before he extends his leg. He dips to the side but manages to catch himself. Cooper isn’t quite as lucky, careening forward like a downed Cessna and smacking the bridge of his nose on his cork yoga block. He drops to his knees, shaking his head to clear the stars out from behind his eyes. Julian falls out of formation to give him a hand up and helps him restore his stance.

“Well, I promised you that bj for after this class and you’re still here,” Kurt says, lips curling into the shadow of a smirk. “You draw your own conclusions.”

“You draw your own conclusions …” Sebastian mimics. He wobbles once. Then twice. He sucks in his stomach to save himself without locking his knees (since Cecile told them at the start of class that locking their knees was bad). But his foot rolls and he’s forced to put the other down to support himself. He tries again … and again … but Sebastian doesn’t successfully execute the move before they’re changing positions.

Kurt rotates up on one leg and transitions into a picture perfect tree pose. He opens an eyelid and peeks at Sebastian, taking in a deep breath through his nose and schooling his face into a mask of meditation so he doesn’t laugh out loud and disrupt the class more than Sebastian’s fumbling through the stances already has.

“Maybe it’s because … mmph … I’m so tall … grrr … that I’m not getting it,” Sebastian offers, stuttering upright in stages, ending in a slumped, unsteady tree.

Kurt turns his head left and looks at Sebastian directly beside him, meeting him eye-to-eye. He arches an eyebrow.

Sebastian pulls an undignified face.

“Sometimes …” their yoga instructor says as she makes the rounds, correcting the posture of the needier students. She has already been to help Sebastian five times during this one-hour lesson, and Cooper too many times for Kurt to count. She flashes Julian an impressed smile and a nod. He winks at her in response “… it is not the balance outside that is needed, but inside.” She puts a hand to Sebastian’s back and one to his stomach, pushing together to force him straight. “The anxiety in your life, the stress, the regrets of your past - they settle in your core.” She pats Sebastian on the stomach. Removing her hand causes his belly to stick back out a hair, and he sways dangerously in Kurt’s direction. Cecile shakes her head and sets Sebastian straight again. “Negative influences roll around and throw you out-of-whack. But yoga and meditation will set you right again.” She stands back and appraises the two men standing side by side, so similar in appearance but obviously a couple with the way they’ve been playfully bickering, and gives them a smile. Then she continues on her way.

“Doesn’t that sound familiar?” Kurt says with a fond grin.

“Yeah.” Sebastian grunts. “Why is it we’re forever getting life advice from graduates of The Learning Annex?”

Both Kurt and Olivia scoff.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with The Learning Annex, but I will have you know that Cecile is an expert in her field!” Olivia says.

“An expert in standing on one foot and stretching her arms over her head? Excuse me if I’m not all that impressed.”

“You should be,” Julian intervenes. “You can’t do it.”

“Maybe I don’t want to do it!”

“Boys, boys,” Olivia whispers when heads turn their way. “Let’s keep it down to a dull roar, please. And remember to breathe.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Kurt says, making a big show of following her lead, breathing in through his nose and then out through his mouth. “We’re here to meditate. Relax. Realign our chakras.”

“Someone’s going to have to realign poor Cooper’s spine by the time we’re done,” Olivia remarks, a giggle hidden in her voice. With Kurt’s eyelids shut and Cooper two whole people away, Kurt doesn’t see what the man is doing, but immediately after Olivia’s comment, he hears Cooper apologize profusely.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m so sorry. I really … yes, sir. I’m sorry. Oh, r-really? That’s very kind of you. Slash savings, yup. I can sign that for you, if you’d like …”

Kurt bites his tongue behind his teeth. Good old Cooper, still able to get some mileage out of that FreeCreditRatingToday gig.

It’s nice to know some things never change.

“For your information, I regret nothing,” Sebastian whisper-hisses after a pause, his body cramping as he tries to maintain his corrected tree pose.

Kurt sighs.

Yup. Some things never change. And some things rise up from the grave from time to time to haunt you, like Hamlet’s father, only with swoopier bangs, wearing basketball shorts and a Tommy Hilfiger v-neck.

“Ah, you protest too much, Sebby,” Julian murmurs, remaining purposefully vague as this is definitely not the time nor place to drudge up old angst. He leaves things there, snapping back into an impeccable tree pose after helping Coop up off the floor again.

“Besides …” Sebastian side-steps his brother to finish making his point “… if that’s the case, then you should mondo-suck at this, Kurt! I mean, let’s take a look at your past, shall we? The year of tragic style choices, dating Blaine, choosing New Directions and that lame ass public school over Dalton and the Warblers … whoa!” Sebastian drops his hip and his shoulder during his rant, causing him to rock to the outside edge of his foot. He barely keeps himself from twisting an ankle and going straight down. “Your life must be chock full of regrets!”

“Uh … let’s not forget that one of those past life decisions was agreeing to date you, little brother,” Julian steps in, jumping swiftly to Kurt’s defense.

Sebastian may have retorted with something along the lines of, “That’s the only intelligent decision he made,” but Kurt doesn’t know for certain. He shuts up like a clam - locks his teeth together and blocks Sebastian and his infernal whining out. He inhales long and zeroes in on the music - the gentle plucking of strings, the tinkling of bells, the flutes holding sustained notes, giving the class an anchor with which to control their breathing. There he remains, floating in the cradle of dark behind his eyelids. A bigger man rises above petty retorts, Kurt can hear his father say, concentrating on repairing his own withering tree pose. He simply needs to be the bigger man.

If he reacts thoughtlessly, does something rash, he might regret it.

Sebastian is simply having a bad day.

They don’t have days like this very often. This is just … well, one of those days. And Kurt is willing to let it go, let it pass like the rhythmic breaths through his lips. But Sebastian broke a cardinal rule.

He mentioned Blaine, which they both swore on the threat of blue balls that neither one of them would do. Especially in anger.

Kurt can only assume Sebastian is uncomfortable here. Sebastian doesn’t like not being the best at everything from go, which is probably why he’s bearing claws and teeth right now. It reminds Kurt of their days taking dance lessons - the two of them butting heads, fighting to lead when it didn’t really need to be one or the other.

It could have been both, paving a single fluid path had they come to a consensus from the start.

But here, they stand on their own two feet - or one foot at the moment, with their hands above their heads. They sink or swim on their own. Cecile calling Sebastian out more than likely didn’t help matters any. No one likes to be the center of attention when they’re flailing. Kurt feels guilty about that, that he’s not closer to Sebastian, reaching out a hand to help him the way Julian is for Cooper.

Kurt opens an eyelid and peeks over. He sees Sebastian, the man he loves, struggling, fighting to regain balance. A balance that Kurt has in spades. A balance that Kurt would be more than willing to help him with, lend him some of.

Suddenly, Sebastian mutters something uncomplimentary under his breath, and Kurt feels less than willing.

He actually considers reaching over and giving Sebastian a push. One swat would send him toppling backward. Kurt has seen Sebastian fall on his ass plenty.

It would be hilarious.

But he can’t do it.

And not because Sebastian might take half a dozen other students with him when he goes, but because after a little quiet contemplation, Kurt realizes that Sebastian may not be lashing out because he can’t do yoga.

The thought that he wouldn’t be as good at this as he is at everything else is preposterous. He’s an exceptional athlete and a graceful dancer. Yoga shouldn’t be that great a hardship for him.

Sebastian may be lashing out because he feels backed into a corner. This has happened before - several times, as a matter of fact, and with Kurt. Sebastian starts to feel trapped, forgets himself, and comes out barrels blazing, shooting first and asking questions later. But what about? What could he possibly feel trapped about?

It comes to Kurt with a single, subtle movement - something he’s started doing recently. Something that had never been a habit of Kurt’s before.

Rolling his engagement ring on his finger.

The ring is a fairly recent accessory, given to him in fairy tale fashion underneath Fourth of July fireworks with everyone he loves present at the picturesque Smythe estate. But their journey to this point has been a bumpy one. There have been fights, misunderstandings, crossroads, a break up. But here they are, together, standing tall …

Another glance in Sebastian’s direction proves that’s not entirely true. He stumbles backward … then forward … then backward again, like he’s performing a clumsy two-step on the deck of a listing ship without a partner.

Could this ring on Kurt’s finger be the reason? Could it be one of Sebastian’s regrets? Could he be re-thinking the whole thing?

As ridiculous as that may sound, it has crossed Kurt’s mind once or twice before. Nothing bad has happened between them since that night - no devastating fights, nothing that would threaten their overall happiness. Even Julian has kept his shameless flirting to a minimum. But Kurt has abandonment issues. Severe ones.

They run deep.

To his defense, Kurt did consult an expert about his feelings.

He’d asked Olivia her opinion on the subject.

She’s privy to the grim details of his backstory, of course, so he can be as dramatic as he wants around her without sounding like a self-serving ninny. She’d waited patiently for him to finish, smiled warmly, and said, “Kurt, Sebastian loves you. More than he’s ever loved anything in his whole life. Loves you more than he’s ever loved himself.”

“How do you know?”

“How do you not know?” she’d replied with that faint roll of her eyes that the Smythe siblings seem to share. “I know my brother. And even if, for some reason, he didn’t love you as much as I know he does, we do. The whole family.”

“So you’d keep in touch if anything went south between us?” Kurt had never thought to ask. The Smythes were such a loyal family, he feared the answer would be no. But they’d already invited him into their home once before after he and Sebastian split up - that Christmas when Kurt’s father ended up in the hospital. The Smythes let him spend the holidays with them, supported him throughout that entire ordeal. Luck seemed to be on his side that year. His father came out of the hospital unscathed when Kurt feared to the depths of his soul that he wouldn’t.

How long could his good fortune hold out, especially if he were the reason they split up again?

“You’re one of us, Kurt,” she’d assured him. “Part of the clan. And we don’t ditch clan members, no matter what their transgressions. Besides …” She stirred creamer into her coffee with the biggest, twisted grin on her face “… Julian would marry you.”

Kurt choked on his mocha. “What?”

“You, him, and Cooper would become a thruple. We’ve discussed it … at length.”

“You what!?”

“Take you as a lover was the way he put it. I have to admit, that has a lovely Victorian ring to it. You’re a hopeless romantic, aren’t you?”

Kurt laughs to himself remembering the look on Olivia’s face as he spilled his drink and she snorted her coffee.

Sebastian must feel Kurt’s eyes on him because he turns his face to Kurt, red-cheeked, frustrated to the point of angry tears. Kurt feels his heart wrench, tightening into a knot of pure sorrow.

Why now though? What could have happened that Kurt didn’t see coming? And why would Sebastian bring up Blaine?

There was a time long ago when Kurt thought he couldn’t live without Blaine and a ring on his finger. That’s far from true. He can more than stand on his own. Ironically, it took dating Sebastian to remind himself of that. Probably because when you’re with someone who supports you selflessly, who only wants the best for you, it brings out the best in you.

“Kurt …” Sebastian whimpers. It’s pained - a pain Kurt feels pinging around his chest.

“Sebastian …” Kurt mouths back, voice unavailable past the ache.

Kurt could live without Sebastian. He could. But he doesn’t want to if he can help it.

Standing here, staring into Sebastian’s eyes, feels like falling in love with him all over again, even if Sebastian is planning on leaving him.

But Kurt isn’t falling.

Sebastian is, coming his way and fast.

“Kurt … help me, Kurt!”

“Sebastian!” Kurt yelps.

Unable to decide whether he should try to catch his boyfriend or get out of the way, he does neither, taking Sebastian’s weight full force in the chest. Reflexively, he wraps his arms around Sebastian instead of dodging for his own safety. He lands flat on his back with a spine-bruising crack! but that’s not where it ends. Unable to stop his momentum in time, Sebastian lands on top of Kurt, checking him in the nose with his shoulder so hard, Kurt almost blacks out.

“Kurt!” Olivia yells, racing to his side. “Sebastian, get off of him! Oh my God! Kurt!”

“Sebby!” Julian barks, yanking Sebastian to his feet, completely unconcerned with any injuries of his brother’s and staring at Kurt with wide, bugged-out eyes. “You killed Kurt!”

“I didn’t kill him!”

“Doesn’t matter! I’m calling mom!”

“Call an ambulance first, you dunderhead!”

Cooper pushes through the crowd to hand Julian his phone. “He’s bleeding!” he points out, voice thick with concern, then shaking like a leaf when he adds, “a lot. I … I don’t like …” Another heavy thud vibrates the wood floor as Cooper disappears from view.

“Jesus Christmas …” Olivia mumbles. “Men.”

“Tell me about it,” Kurt grumbles.

“Kurt!” Sebastian takes Kurt’s hands carefully in his while Cecile leans in low to examine Kurt’s face. She tsks.

“Sit tight, hun. I’m going to get you some ice.”

“Paramedics are on the way,” Julian informs them as he kneels down to tend to an unconscious Cooper. “I told them to send an ambulance built for two.”

“Are you okay?” Sebastian rushes, looking Kurt over closely, doing an examination of his own. “What hurts? Can you hear me? Speak to me!?”

“How can I?” Kurt moans, content after that to never speak again for as long as he lives. It wouldn’t be too bad. He could learn ASL. He’s always wanted to. He nearly guffaws out loud when the thought he can take a Learning Annex course springs to his brain. “You won’t shut up long enough to let me!”

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I’m … I’m sorry,” Sebastian babbles. “I didn’t mean to ...”

“You do have regrets, don’t you?” Kurt asks, sadly shaking his head. Or trying to. He budges it a centimeter. It screams at him to stop!

Sebastian’s brow furrows. “What the---? Everyone has regrets, Kurt.”

“What are yours?”

“What? I …” Sebastian’s chest shudders, closer to tears than Kurt had previously realized. “That you’re right. That you’re always right.”

Kurt frowns. “Gee. Thanks.”

“I am simple minded. I didn’t want to do this. I knew I wouldn’t be any good at it. And that’s not an opinion. It’s a fact. I went to gymnastics camp as a kid, so I know my limits.”

“You did?” Kurt says, stunned out of remembering he’s in a blistering amount of pain.

“That’s right!” Olivia gasps, pleased as punch that she has another embarrassing story to tell Kurt about his soon-to-be-husband. “How did I forget about Sebastian in that purple unitard!?”

“A story for another time,” Sebastian dismisses forcefully through clenched teeth.

“All right, all right,” Olivia says, pulling out her phone, checking to see if she has any pictures of that event uploaded to her gallery, giving Kurt and Sebastian privacy (figuratively) for the moment.

“The point is,” Sebastian continues, “I should have told you from the beginning that I couldn’t do this.”

You did, Kurt thinks with a pang of regret that eclipses the throbbing in his nose. You did, and I convinced you to come anyway. “So … what about us?”

Sebastian’s face crumbles imperceptibly, as if, with those four words, he’s expecting the worse. “Wh-what about us?”

“Do you have regrets about us?”

“What?” Moss-green eyes pop open so fast, Kurt swears he hears them, like the foley on an anime. “No! What makes you think that?”

“Well, you fell. And Cecile said …”

“Kurt! I fell because I have no balance to speak of! I can’t do yoga. At all, as it turns out. This isn’t The Fault in Our fucking Stars, babe! Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, not a metaphor.” He leans down to kiss the knuckles of Kurt’s hand trapped between his. “I don’t have any regrets about us. I swear I don’t.”

Kurt closes his eyes, the left swelling rapidly, skin turning an alarmingly vivid shade of aubergine. A tear slips from the corner and down his cheek. It’s hot, and everything it touches stings.

Sebastian swallows hard and asks a question he’s wondered about hundreds of times, a question he keeps finding himself asking, never settling in comfortably with the answer. Which is always the same, no matter what.

“Do … do you have any regrets?”

Kurt sniffles before he answers. “Recently?”

Okay, well, maybe not the same this time.

“I guess …”

“Only one.”

“Does it have something to do with me?”

“Yes, but only a teeny bit.”

“And what’s that?” Sebastian asks, holding his breath immediately after, readying himself for whatever barb Kurt chooses to throw.

“That we’re never going to be able to come to this studio again.” Kurt smiles weakly, wincing when he scrunches his nose and pain shoots straight up the bridge to his brain. “And I think you broke my nose.”

Sebastian kisses Kurt’s hand, sputtering a half-laugh/half-cry of relief. “It matches your black eye.”

Kurt fixes his good eye on Sebastian and grimaces - the safest expression of displeasure he can make with his face on the brink of exploding.

“No worries, love,” Julian pipes in, saving Sebastian as tears finally start to fall. “The crooked nose thing isn’t quite in anymore, but I can see you bringing it back. You wear it well.”

“Fuck you both very much,” Kurt mutters.

Julian winks, stepping aside as paramedics rush in. “Promises, promises.”

#acitw au #acitw #kurtbastian #sebkurt #sekurt #kurt hummel #sebastian smythe #Julian Smythe #olivia smythe

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kaialone · 4 years

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Spirit Tracks Translation Comparison: Zelda’s Body Taken

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the cutscenes in which Princess Zelda’s body ends up being stolen.

You can also watch these cutscenes for yourself in English and Japanese. If you want, you can check out the EU English version, too.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

Cirokuni = Alfonzo, Kimaroki = Cole, Dego = Byrne

After Link’s Train Derails:

Alfonzo:

姫さまあれを！

Your Highness, look over there!

Your Highness! Look over there!

Zelda:

…なんということでしょ一刻も早くあの塔に行かないと

...My goodness, we have to reach that tower as soon as possible.

What's happening to the Tower of Spirits?

Cole:

…困りますねぇ姫さまお忍びで散歩などされては…

...Now this just will not do, Your Highness. Going out for a little secret stroll like that...

Out for a leisurely stroll, Your Highness?

Tsk, tsk, tsk! You know that's not allowed!

Zelda:

大臣?

Minister?

Allowed by who? You, Chancellor Cole?

Cole:

ガキはおとなしく城で王様ごっこしてりゃいいんだよ!!

You brat should've just kept playing pretend-monarch at the castle like a good girl!!

Who else? Who do you think is really in charge?

Zelda, Link and Alfonzo:

…

Cole:

我が名はキマロキ…

長い間人間の振りをしていたので肩がこりましたよ

My name is Kimaroki...

Pretending to be human for so long has taken its toll on me. (1)

My goodness, pretending to be human is exhausting.

Who knew that chancellor was just another word...

for royal babysitter?!

Cole:

まあもう少し大臣でいるつもりだったのですが…

予定を早めました

Well, I had actually intended to keep being the minister for a while longer, but...

We ended up going ahead of schedule.

I had meant to keep up the ruse a bit longer.

Cole:

姫さまが悪いのですよ ? 余計なことをかぎ回るから

The fault is yours, Your Highness, is it not? You and your unnecessary meddling.

But you pushed me to this, Princess.

Cole:

しかもそんな小僧や機関士なんぞに手を借りてまで…

Moreover, you even went as far as to call a mere boy and an engineer to your aid...

Bringing in the boy and the engineer didn't help either.

Zelda:

あなたは… 一体?

What in the world... are you...? (2)

What are you talking about?

Cole:

おぞましき神の遺物…

The relic of that repugnant god...

I'm talking about your infernal meddling!

Cole:

忌まわしい結界が消えうせ今時は満ちた…

Now that this repulsive barrier is vanishing, the time is at hand...

But now that those vile tracks are disappearing,

the time is finally at hand!

Cole:

あと必要なのは…

All we need now is...

Cole:

あなたの… カラダ

Your... b o d y. (3)

A little help--hee hee--from you, Your Highness!

Alfonzo:

何者か知らねえが姫さまに仇なすってんなら…

I dunno who you are, but if you harm Her Highness in any way...

I don't know who these two are, Your Highness.

But with your permission...

Alfonzo:

このシロクニ容赦はしねえぜ？

I, Cirokuni, won't hold anything back against ya.

I'd be happy to teach them some manners.

Cole:

かっかっか… 人間ふぜいが

Ka ka ka... Typical human.

Nyee hee hee hee hee! How gallant! How brave!

How incredibly foolhardy!

Alfonzo:

なめんなよこちとら先々代から王家にお仕えしてんだ

Don't you underestimate me! My folks've been serving the royal family for generations, you know! (4)

Enough out of you!

My family has served the royal house for generations!

Cole:

!… ディーゴ様…

...! Master Dego...

Melodrama bores me.

Byrne, would you kindly dispose of this fool?

Byrne:

この男の言うとおりだ… かなり腕に覚えがあるようだな

It's like this man said... He certainly seems confident in his own strength.

This man speaks the truth, Cole.

His movements are not those of an amateur.

Byrne:

だが私の敵ではない…

But, he's no match for me...

But he is only human.

Alfonzo:

…なあんなって言っただろ？

...I told you not to underestimate me, didn't I?

I told you, I will defend the princess at any cost!

Byrne:

こちらも言ったはずだ我が敵ではないと

And I told you. You are no match for me.

And I told you. You're only human.

Cole:

キキキッさすがディーゴ様！お強に！イカス！

Keekeekee, I expected no less from you, Master Dego! Such strength! Tubular!

Nyee hee hee hee hee!

Oh, Byrne, you do know how to put on a show!

Byrne:

しょせんは人の技だ

あの程度で私の前に立つことはかなわぬ…

That's just the extent of human skill.

One can't hope to face me with something that meager...

It was hardly a fair fight, Cole.

Zelda:

あ… リンク…

Ah... Link...

Help me, Link!

Zelda:

こ来ないでください… それ以上近づかないで…

P-please stay away... Do not come any closer...

No! Don't come any closer!

Cole:

…まあ良いでしょう必要なのは王女の体…

...Ah well, that should be alright. We just need the body of the princess...

Good work, Byrne.

That takes care of the first step of our plan.

Cole:

さあディーゴ様参りましょうくっくっく…

Now, let us depart, Master Dego. Ku ku ku...

Nyee hee hee hee hee! Our work is done here.

Come now, Byrne!

Translation Notes:

What I adapted as “taken its toll on me” more literally translates to “made my shoulder stiff”, but from what I've seen, this is a generic phrase characters sometimes say when they’re exhausted? In any case, I adapted it the way I did because I thought it sounded a bit better. The English version likely did the same thing.

In this line by Zelda it’s not exactly clear if she is just supposed to be saying “What in the world are you...?” or if she means to say “What in the world are you talking about?” but doesn’t finish the line completely. The response from Cole makes the latter seem plausible though, which is probably why the English version went with that.

In Japanese, the word for body is 体/karada, but in this line here Cole drags it out for dramatic effect, saying it syllable by syllable as “ka ra da”, which goes along with the animation in this scene.

Alfonzo uses a somewhat informal word to refer to his family, so I translated it as “my folks” here, in case you were unsure what he meant.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

In this part, we are formally introduced to our main antagonists, as well as the central conflict of the game, which gives us a lot to go over.

Some of the changes to Cole in particular also become more apparent here, so I will start off with those.

A strange difference between versions is when and how we first learn Cole’s name.

In the English version, he was named right when he was introduced, but in Japanese it’s only at this point in the game right here that his name is revealed.

And the way he introduces himself with “My name is Kimaroki...” raises some questions. He’s using a rather dramatic way to say it in Japanese, too.

Since he was the minister, it seems unlikely that Zelda wasn’t aware of what his name was, so why would he need to say it like that?

Perhaps he was only introducing himself to Link and Alfonzo? But that's also kinda unlikely, since he doesn’t really address those two directly, he mostly speaks to Zelda.

Alternatively, this could imply he was actually working at the castle under a fake name, so this moment is him revealing his true name for the first time.

I think this would make the most sense from a story perspective, given how this dialogue flows.

But, we aren’t really given a clear indication of either option, so it’s also possible this was just a result of clunky writing.

Given this, I can understand why the English version changed it up so that Cole was already referred to by name at the castle.

Since it’s not really clear what, if anything, the Japanese version was trying to imply here, it's easier to go with something else that simplifies the issue.

As a fan, I am still interested in the potential implications of the Japanese version here, assuming it was intentional, but the change makes perfect sense from a localization perspective.

In the Japanese version, Cole says “You brat should’ve just kept playing pretend-monarch at the castle like a good girl!!”, when he reveals his true nature.

This calls back to what has been established back at the castle, namely Zelda being more of a figurehead ruler, with seemingly only Cole holding any real authority.

But it also shows us more about how Cole regards Zelda in this version. Whenever he addresses her, he scolds and berates her like one would a misbehaving child.

The English version does include these bits of information, with lines like “Who else? Who do you think is really in charge?“ and “Who knew that chancellor was just another word…for royal babysitter?!”

But I personally feel the Japanese version does it a bit better. It just feels slightly more natural, whereas the English version has Cole spell it out a bit too directly.

It’s not much of a difference right now, but the English version eventually drifts further from the Japanese version’s portrayal of how Cole talks to Zelda.

At this point, we also see more of how Cole’s general characterization has been tweaked in English.

Like I mentioned when he was first introduced, Cole has a formal and technically polite manner of speaking in the Japanese version, even if he is still condescending, of course.

But, that’s only half of it.

He actually has this character quirk where he flip-flops between that formal speaking style, and a very informal style, to the point of being almost crude sometimes.

And it’s not just him being insulting, he genuinely goes to talking more like a goon, no hint of class, not even ironic.

It’s different from the way Alfonzo switches up his speaking style, too. It’s a fairly normal thing to speak differently depending on the social context like Alfonzo does.

I’ve seen Cole’s flip-flopping being compared to the Happy Mask Salesman, who has some memorable outbursts in Majora’s Mask.

But with the Happy Mask Salesman, those are always caused by anger, whereas with Cole they don’t happen every time he’s angry, and can also happen when he’s delighted.

In any case, there is this clearly deliberate duality to Cole’s personality in the Japanese version.

In the English version, this aspect was dropped.

Here, Cole’s speaking style doesn’t really change, it’s always technically formal, but in a smug, more openly insulting manner.

It’s almost like a merging of Cole’s formal and informal sides from the Japanese version, slightly leaning more towards formal.

Compared to other characters, Cole’s lines will also see more rewrites from this point on, usually to make him seem more pompous, toning down how goony he can get during his informal moments.

Which characterization you prefer is up to you, of course, but it's arguably one of the bigger changes when it comes to the characters.

Though this change with Cole here is probably related to the next one I want to talk about.

Something that might have caught your eye is Cole referring to Byrne as “Master Dego” in Japanese.

Specifically, he uses the very respectful suffix 様/-sama when addressing him.

And yes, in the Japanese version, Byrne is presented to us as the leader of this scheme the two of them have going on, while Cole is his underling.

This is reflected by their interactions as well.

You could read them as equals, since Byrne doesn’t give out any orders, but Cole definitely addresses Byrne like one would a superior.

Of course, Cole doesn’t exactly come off as trustworthy, but still.

In English, this dynamic between them is completely turned around, so Cole is now implied to be directly in charge of this duo, with Byrne being an underling who does his bidding.

I’m guessing this is also part of the reason why Cole’s characterization was altered, or perhaps the other way around?

Since Cole is in charge now, he’s portrayed as less goofy, so to speak.

Most of Cole’s dialogue addressing Byrne in this cutscene has also been changed to reflect this change in their dynamic.

In Japanese, Cole acts subservient and flattering to Byrne, to an almost silly degree.

In English, Cole will flatter Byrne too, but in a way like a master would flatter an amusing servant of theirs.

I probably don’t need to go over each line between Cole and Byrne in detail.

But as a quick example, Cole’s reaction to Byrne actually stepping forward is completely different between the versions.

In Japanese, Cole says “…! Master Dego…”

Here, Cole is surprised about Byrne stepping forward like that, and seems a bit nervous, almost like he’s worried Byrne is getting impatient, or something similar.

If you pay attention, you’ll see his animation reflects the tone of this line, too.

But in English, he instead says “Melodrama bores me. Byrne, would you kindly dispose of this fool?”

In this version, Cole continues to be condescending, and dismissively summons Byrne to take care of the situation for him.

This also means that in the English version, Byrne presumably wouldn’t have acted on his own, while in the Japanese version he fought Alfonzo because he himself wanted to.

The latter is more consistent with how we see him act later.

It’s kinda interesting though that Byrne’s own dialogue remains mostly the same, despite these changes.

The way the dynamic between Byrne and Cole was changed between versions really does affect Cole more than it does Byrne. It’s really more how Cole plays off of him, and the implications of that, which are different.

There isn’t much of a direct difference to how Byrne treats Cole in Japanese compared to English. The implications are more those between the lines - Byrne working with a guy who acts more like a bootlicker to him in Japanese, while in English he works with a guy who treats him like a lackey.

One could speculate that the Japanese version of Byrne would have been too prideful to work with someone like the English version of Cole, but we have no way of knowing for sure.

Alright, so in my translation notes I already mentioned that during the line “Your… b o d y”, Cole is slowly dragging out the word 体/karada in Japanese, which goes along with how the camera zooms in on his face.

The English version adapted this with “A little help--hee hee--from you, Your Highness!“, which the last part is dragged out as “Your-High-ness”.

This is a clever adaptation, especially since you need to think outside the box a little here. A literal translation like mine wouldn’t work at all in-game.

Still, maybe they could have gone with something shorter like “your-bo-dy”?

Minor difference, but when Alfonzo steps forward, he directly talks to Cole and Byrne in the Japanese version, but in the English version he is talking about them to Zelda.

This could have been an oversight, or a deliberate change to give Zelda more authority in this part.

If it’s the latter, I’m not sure if it works, since it’s not like Zelda responds anyway, so it doesn’t feel any less like she’s being talked over.

I want to talk about the line “But, he’s no match for me“, because here we got a prominent example of the EU English version actually getting it wrong by being too literal.

In actual Japanese, Byrne says “だが私の敵ではない”/“Daga watashi no teki dewanai“, which literally translates to “But, he’s not my enemy”, and the EU version went with that.

However, that was a bad call on their part.

Because “He’s not my enemy” is a Japanese figure of speech which means “He’s no match for me”. As in, not being strong enough to even be considered an enemy.

Therefore it should not be translated literally like that.

The US English version adapts this line as “But he is only human”.

This makes use of information Byrne originally gives after the battle in Japanese: “That’s just the extent of human skill. One can’t hope to face me with something that meager…”

In turn, that bit is then streamlined in English as: “It was hardly a fair fight, Cole.“

I am impressed by the way they spread around the information they needed to convey in a manner that allowed them to use less text here.

But it also changes up the flow of this scene, as in the Japanese version, we don’t get the confirmation that Byrne is not human until after Alfonzo is beaten by him.

It’s an easy guess of course, but there is that initial bit of tension.

As Alfonzo and Byrne fight, Alfonzo’s dialogue is changed from “ …I told you not to underestimate me, didn’t I?“ to “I told you, I will defend the princess at any cost!”, kinda shifting the topic of this conversation, which was originally about pitting their strength against each other.

This is notable because Alfonzo has been built up for the audience as being one of the strongest people in the land.

And without confirmation that Byrne is not human, there is this illusion of hope that maybe Alfonzo can match his strength.

The power of regular humans compared to beings of demonic or divine nature is one of the themes of this story, so this fight is part of the audience’s more personal introduction to it.

I do think the English version does a good job of setting this theme up in its own right, it’s just done differently.

And lastly, Cole’s comment after Zelda’s spirit is expelled from her body and flies towards the castle differs between versions:

…Ah well, that should be alright. We just need the body of the princess…

Good work, Byrne.

That takes care of the first step of our plan.

In the Japanese version, Cole acknowledges the fact that he just saw Zelda’s spirit fly away, but brushes it off as being unimportant, openly dismissing Zelda as a possible threat at this point.

But in the English version, that part isn’t mentioned.

I feel this was probably an oversight due to lack of context.

In the actual cutscene, we see Cole watching very closely as Zelda’s spirit emerges and flies away, so his comment follows up on that animation in Japanese.

But translators are rarely able to see the visuals of what they are translating, as they are usually only given the text itself.

And if that was the case here, the translators would have only gotten to see what amounts to Cole saying something along the lines of “That’s alright, we just need the body of the princess”, without any additional context.

If we assume this is what happened, it makes sense that they adapted the line the way they did in the final version.

I don’t know how the translation process was handled in Spirit Tracks, but I do know that with many game translations, you will usually have a first translator doing a more literal, rough translation draft, and then a second translator who rewrites that raw translation into the final text.

And if that second translator is unable to check the Japanese version to clear up any potential confusion, you can end up with even more deviations from the original quite easily.

This is just some possible examples of how various factors can affect text translations in ways the translators themselves have little control over.

Overall, this batch of scenes is interesting when it comes to the localization.

They’re rather faithful for the most part, outside of general slight differences I mentioned previously, like Alfonzo’s speaking style. The dialogue is mostly the same, though.

The biggest difference is really Cole’s characterization and dialogue, particularly in regards to his interactions with other characters.

Especially the flipping of his dynamic with Byrne is a notable change to the story from a character perspective.

But this part is already pretty long, so I won’t dwell on it more than that for now. Feel free to check out the next one!

< Previous Part | Start | Next Part >

#legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #spirit tracks #tloz #the legend of zelda spirit tracks #legend of zelda translations #spirit tracks translations #my translations #spirit tracks comparisons

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lonestarbabe · 5 years

Text

Holding Out For a Hero

Chapter 1: Where Have All The Good Men Gone

When T.K. Strand was eight years old, his father died on 9/11 with the rest of his fire station, and T.K.’s life forever changed. Luckily, in his grief and anger, T.K. found music, which gave him an outlet and kept him out of trouble… at least enough to keep him alive. At the age of sixteen, T.K. was propelled into stardom and with the grief and anger still very much alive within him, he began to use drugs, alcohol, and one-night stands to cope. As one of the most popular pop stars alive, T.K. has been accustomed to screaming masses and fanatical adoration but his manager, Judd, and best friend, Marjan, seem to think T.K. needs someone to look after him. T.K. doesn’t want another bodyguard, not after the series of uptight tightwads he’s had, but when he’s introduced to buff, sweetly handsome Carlos Reyes, T.K. begrudgingly decides that he can put up with a little eye candy hanging around (but it’s not because he needs someone to look after him, definitely not…)

T.K.

“I don’t need a bodyguard,” T.K. refuted, petulantly crossing his arms over his chest, but Judd gave him a sharp “don’t argue with me” look. The look usually didn’t go very far. After all, arguing was one of T.K.’s favorite hobbies. Though, he rarely took arguments too seriously. Mostly, they were just for sport, but this time T.K. knew to shut up, at least while Judd lectured him.

“Come on, this is my job to look after you. Let me do it.” Judd adjusted his wristwatch, still not used to the heavy metal Rolex that Grace had gotten him. She’d told him maybe it would him look like an actual manager because looking at Judd, you’d pick a barista from Starbucks as the talent manager over Judd.

Judd’s flannel shirt and blue jeans set him apart from not just other managers but also most of LA. Originally from Texas, Judd may have been a high-profile entertainment manager, but he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a suit to work. If you squinted, you might mistake him for a hipster, but Judd would snarl if anyone ever called him that (he had no beard or weird coffee). Lumberjack would be less offensive (again, no beard or no ax). Cowboy would be better than redneck. He might even take cowboy with pride.

While he was still very much a Texan at heart, Judd had followed his wife, Grace, out to LA so she could chase her dream of being an actress. Considering that Grace Ryder was going to be in what could be the summer’s big blockbuster, the move had paid off and things were going well for the Ryders. T.K. was just relieved that for the last five years he’d had Judd on his side. It was good to have someone who cared, even if T.K. was still a fuck up (because that was inevitable).

His former manager, Misty, had been a robotic woman who cared more about her pantsuits than her clients. At sixteen, he’d signed on with her, and from the start, she’d wanted more than T.K. was willing to give. Albums, tours, books, perfume lines, signings— she’d wanted him to do it all, but T.K. never got a moment of rest. She manipulated him and used all his youthful optimism against him. At first, it had been fun, but then it was just exhausting. Misty had cracked T.K., and she had made music a chore, but it wasn’t like T.K. knew anything else. He felt trapped. He wanted to love music again, but he knew he couldn’t do that with Misty breathing down his neck. Misty wasn’t evil. T.K. had good times with her even if he couldn’t keep up with her demands. She’d helped him start his career. She’d taken a chance on him. Nevertheless, she wasn’t good for him. She was too concerned about her own desires to pay proper attention to his. He needed someone who saw him as an actual person rather than a problem.

Now, Judd had the unenviable job of trying to piece a broken kid back together, but Judd didn’t seem too dismayed by the task. He’d been doing it for five years, after all. T.K. had come to Judd after a long search for the perfect manager, and it had been a cosmically right fit. Marjan Marwani, T.K.’s best friend, had actually been the one who had found Judd, and she still held it over his head that she had found him the best manager on the planet. He really loved his best friend even if she liked to taunt him mercilessly.

In the time that he had been T.K.’s manager, Judd had been patient with T.K. He worked so hard to keep T.K. vaguely functional. Judd actually cared for some reason. Unlike Misty, Judd wasn’t the kind of manager in it for the money. He’d even suggested that T.K. take a break whereas other managers would have tried to keep their top-earning talent working as much as possible. Judd wouldn’t care if he didn’t get another dime from T.K., but T.K. was too stubborn and too lost to take time from the spotlight. He needed music in his life.

“All celebrities of your caliber use bodyguards,” Judd explained, his accent muted slightly by LA influences. When he went home to Austin, Judd’s voice always reverted to its original sound just like T.K. always sounded most like a New Yorker when he was in New York. “It’s a security risk to let you go running around alone. I know you like your independence, but when you have as many fans as you do, things are bound to get out of control.” T.K. suspected Judd was less worried about fans than T.K.’s behavior.

“Yeah, and I’ve had fifteen bodyguards in the past six months alone. I think that’s quite enough.” The last thing T.K. needed was another big slab of man following him around with a faintly disapproving look. His former bodyguards all tried and failed to keep a neutral expression when they worked for him. They’d been discreet, but he could always see the way their eyebrows scrunched, and lips pushed together with a nearly inaudible grunt. Even when he was drunk and higher than the moon, T.K. could see the disdain or, worse, the pity, in their eyes. He was just another teenage star turned adult fuck up. He wore the badge as proudly as he could even though he hated himself for becoming an out of control stranger.

“You know I’m not happy with your revolving door of bodyguards. It’s a major hassle, but I’d rather hunt down schmucks willing to deal with you than for you to get into trouble. Believe it or not, I prefer you alive.” T.K.’s heart flipped at the sentiment, and for whatever reason, he felt touched. The warm feeling sent a surge of anxiety through his body because somewhere along the line he’d learned concern was dangerous. He fidgeted in his seat, trying to retain his cool demeanor.

T.K. rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dad,” he said before he could think. The joke scratched against T.K.’s tongue like sandpaper. He hadn’t used the word dad in… well, he couldn’t even remember how long. Since his dad had died, T.K. had always the term father to refer to all dads. Dad was too personal, so he usually saved that word only for use with his own father, whose memory had become terrifyingly blurry in T.K.’s mind.

Judd grunted, an affectionate, slightly exasperated grunt. You could tell a lot about Judd’s mood based on his grunt. Grace always joked that he had a language composed all of grunts. “Someone has to look out for you.” Because your dad is dead.

“I don’t want to be protected,” especially not by his big brother of a manager.

“Yeah, well I can’t trust you to quit your self-destructive shit. Sometimes I wonder…” Judd trailed off shaking his head. His voice had quivered, softer and more hesitant.

“What? Wonder what?” He was already starting to feel defensive.

“Never mind, kid. It doesn’t matter.” Judd bit his bottom lip, knowing that he had almost said too much. His eyes were concerned, which made T.K. feel angry more than loved. He didn’t like when Judd tried to give him “much needed guidance.”

“No, tell me, what is it?” T.K. hated being coddled and kept out of the loop even if it was for his own good.

Judd looked at the picture of Grace on his desk. Emotions were more her thing. She’d be much better at this, but T.K. was worth making the effort when need be. “It’s not something you’d want to hear.”

“I don’t care. Tell me.”

Judd sighed, worrying that this thought would do more harm than good, but it had been growing in his mind for a while. He took a deep breath. “Sometimes I wonder if it doesn’t matter to you if you live or die.” T.K. eyes shot up to meet Judd’s. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed, but he didn’t like it. Yet, he couldn’t retreat from it because he’d been the one to press Judd to tell him what he was thinking.

“I’m not suicidal.” It wasn’t like he was going to jump off a bridge or something. “I wouldn’t try to kill myself if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Maybe not. I’m not exactly the best person to talk about all this stuff but seems to me that you wouldn’t mind dying if it happened to you.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Judd,” but it did. T.K. knew exactly what Judd meant, and it scared him how close to the truth Judd was.

“I just think that it doesn’t scare you that one night you could overdose, and I think you’re playin’ Russian roulette with your life, half-hoping that maybe you won’t get lucky.”

“Psychoanalyzing is for shrinks.”

“Yeah, I know, but it can’t be healthy to be so unconcerned about your own mortality.”

“There wouldn’t be much I could do about it if I died, so I don’t bother worrying about it.” T.K. thought about death sometimes. He’d even imagined himself dying, but it wasn’t in a weird way he didn’t think. Everyone thought about it. Him maybe more than others.

“No, I guess not, but I’m just saying that it seems to me you’d be okay if it just ended, relieved even.”

“Not to get nihilistic or whatever, but there’s not much to live for is there? But it’s just like going to work. Each day, you just gotta do it.” Life, even the glamorous life of a superstar, could be a monotonous jumble of highs and lows, but T.K. had learned that there wasn’t much he could do about it. He had to keep trudging along even if he didn’t know where to or why.

“Man, I don’t know what to say to that, but I think you’ve got it all wrong. Life isn’t that grim.”

T.K. backtracked. “I didn’t mean to suggest it was. It isn’t all bad, really. It’s not like I always hate it or anything. I do have fun. I have my pick of men, and I get invited to lots of parties.” T.K. smirked. “I’m sure you’ve seen some of the viral videos.”

“Getting so wasted you can’t remember how many fingers you have ain’t fun.”

“You’re just lucky none of my sex tapes have been leaked, but let me tell you, they’d do real well on Pornhub.”

“Keep those to yourself. The ‘I only have six fingers’ video was enough of a nightmare.” It should have been humiliating, but T.K. had just laughed when it had come out. His management team had been clucking like hens, but something so silly wasn’t worth all that headache, so T.K. just reminded that everything that happened to him was one big cosmic joke.

“I don’t even remember that night honestly, but that’s the fun of it, Judd—forgetting all the things you normally have to remember.”

“Yeah, well, how ‘bout trying to remember a little more. You’ll forget yourself if you’re not careful.”

“As long as I don’t forget how to carry a tune, I think I’ll be okay.” As long as he could still got on the stage and do his job, he’d be fine.

“You’re more than a singer.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be. Life would be so much better if you only had to be one thing.”

“I want you to slow down on the partying.”

T.K. laughed. “And you think a bodyguard can help me with that? Yeah, right.” T.K. didn’t believe he needed a bodyguard at all. He was a big boy, and he wasn’t going to wilt just because a crowd gathered trying to get his attention or he drank a little too much. Bodyguards were basically just pieces of furniture who turn into stone walls when danger struck.

“He’ll make sure you make it out in one piece. I’ve picked a great guy.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“I mean it with this one.”

T.K. exhaled, still not thrilled about the idea of having someone follow him around. “What’s his name?”

“Carlos Reyes, and I think he’s just your type.”

“My type?”

“Trust me. He’s the kind of guy you’d like. He’ll keep up with you.”

“Oh yeah? Another bald forty-year-old? You know that those Mr. Clean types really get me going. It would be really hot to see my reflection on one of their shiny heads. Narcissistic goals.”

“You better bet careful, T.K. One of these days someone will think you’re serious.”

“I am. That dude three, no four, bodyguards ago took me way too serious. I think he actually thought I was into him.”

“I think Aaron quit just because you kept calling him a sexy Mr. Clean.” Judd shook his head, smiling a little.

“I think that guy’s suit was glued to his body. He didn’t even try to fit in. Bodyguards should be discreet. Plus, I got homophobic vibes from him. Like the kind of guy who will say he’s fine with gay people but then ask who’s the woman in the relationship.”

“The new guy isn’t like that.”

“So, if he’s not like Mr. Clean, what is he like? Hot? Eighty years-old? An actual robot?”

Judd gestures a zip across his lips. “You’ll see his pretty face soon, Rockstar. He starts tomorrow.”

“Maybe give me a week. I need some me time before I’m shackled to a piece of meat. ”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Judd was decisive, “But no, you cannot have a week. I’ve already told him he could start tomorrow.” He left no room for arguments.

“Fine.” T.K. stood up from his chair, letting it teeter unsteadily with the force of him pushing it out behind him. The chair settled, all four legs back on the ground. T.K. took a breath. “I guess I better enjoy tonight, then, before this guy comes in to try to tame me.” T.K. winked. “Many men have tried. Very few have succeeded. Like Miley Cyrus would say, ‘I can’t be tamed.’”

“Don’t tell me you want to get on a wrecking ball for your next video?”

He shook his head. “That’s not controversial enough for my taste. Full frontal nudity or nothing. The wrecking ball would just get in the way.”

Judd didn’t feed into T.K.’s joke. He gave T.K. a firm look. “You’ll call me if you need a ride home?” Judd had long ago made it clear that he was always available if T.K. needed him, no questions asked. T.K. had never taken him up on that offer.

“I’m not the kind of fuck up who crashes his hundred-thousand-dollar car. I know to hire a driver if I’m going to drink,” among other things, “or I’m sure I’ll find a nice young man to take me home. Or old. I’m not that picky.”

Judd gave him a disapproving look because T.K. liked to jump in bed with people who didn’t give a damn about his wellbeing. “That’s what I’m worried about. One of these days the young man, or old one, won’t be so nice.”

T.K. liked that thought. Good guys weren’t his thing, after all. Sweet guys were cute, but they always seemed unobtainable, especially with how much T.K. expected of his men. He liked them tough, sometimes even mean. He liked to watch them fight for dominance. He liked to watch them puff their chests and try to pin him down. He liked to roll them over and tease them with his lips and tongue. He liked to give in just as much as he liked to resist. “Even better.”

#my fics #911 lone star fic #911 lone star au #911 lone star #tarlos #sorry I wanted to put this on here before the next chapter #I am a mess #Elise Writes #my writing #Season 1

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ohdeputy · 4 years

Text

100 Letters PART IX

Arthur Morgan x John Marston

Words: 6,545

Read on Archive

Part VIII

The sky was a perfect shade of blue, with fluffy clouds that made John feel like he was sitting inside of a painting. He had spent the past few days enjoying the warmer breeze the wind carried alongside Albert’s presence. He was grateful for the man’s hospitality but had grown eager to return to the gang.

John hoped they were okay, not having heard any word from anyone since his arrival at Albert’s cabin. It wasn’t unusual, since they were undoubtedly just keeping a low profile, but he was uneasy nevertheless.

Luckily, most of the time Albert kept John preoccupied with helping him do his photography. It kept his mind free from the anxiousness he felt. John had become an assistant of sorts, aiding Albert in finding the best spots to photograph wildlife.

“Here?”

The sun shined down on John as he set Albert’s tripod on the ground amidst a clearing. The photographer’s head popped up from digging around in his bag, “yes, that’s perfect, Mister Marston!”

“John,” he corrected with a smile.

Albert gave a sheepish grin, returning to his bag once more, “right, apologies. John.”

John had spent their time together constantly reminding the other man to call him by his first name, yet Albert always retreated to his polite roots. It was certainly a contrast to what he was used to, not at all close to the usual treatment he received as a wanted outlaw. Of course, John didn’t believe the man to be naive, how he must know that the likes of him and Arthur were not like most other people. But Albert didn’t seem to care, at least he never voiced any concerns on the matter.

Albert came up beside John, holding the camera he’d retrieved from his bag. Carefully, he placed it on the head of the tripod, setting it up to angle slightly upward.

They were after the Pileated Woodpecker. A tough subject to capture, in Albert’s words. He thought that with their combined effort, he may be able to finally pull the feat off. John suggested this area, sure to travel to a dense enough part of the forest where the bird would likely be spotted.

“I’ve put some berries out in hopes of attracting one,” Albert motioned over to where he came from. “Now all that’s left to do is to wait.”

“Sure.” John stood beside Albert, following his line of sight to the tops of the trees.

Albert produced a pair of binoculars to search above them. Every once in a while he’d tense when it looked like he had spotted something, only to slouch in disappointment when it wasn’t the woodpecker he was in search of.

Eventually, John sat himself against a trunk of a nearby tree, patiently waiting in the comfort of its shade. He tried not to let his mind wander, instead, taking in the beauty of nature that surrounded them. He felt at peace watching the birds fly above, and the tiny squirrels and rabbits that scurried around the forest floor.

A small gasp escaped Albert, who pointed a finger toward a nearby tree, “there.”

John followed his gaze to where he gestured, seeing a ghost of white feathers against the trunk. Upon further inspection, he could make out a streak of red running down the head of the woodpecker. “Whoa.”

John slowly got up to get closer to Albert, who adjusted his camera to get a good shot.

“He doesn’t have any black feathers,” John quietly stated.

Albert gave a short nod, “right you are.”

“He doesn’t look like the other ones, he’s different.”

Albert pressed down to take the picture, sending a plume of smoke to the air with the sound of the shutter ringing out for a split second. Surprisingly, the ghost woodpecker didn’t fly off from the commotion, barely even flinching as it moved its head in their direction.

“It seems not only were we successful in finding one but stumbled across a rather rare variation of the species!”

John studied it, almost convinced that the creature was studying them back with intelligible eyes. He was beautiful but stood out like a sore thumb amongst the dark branches and leaves.

“Must be lonely,” John thought aloud. “Being the only abnormal one around. Are you not disappointed that he doesn’t look like the rest?”

“On the contrary!” Albert turned to smile broadly at him, “this particular woodpecker is a gift! You see, nature can be so exciting. Just when you think you’ve come to understand it, it throws you something unexpected. To find a bird different from the others is refreshing, such things should be cause for celebration in a world that can be so bland at times.”

John let Albert’s thought sink in, deciding he liked the other man’s perspective on it. He’d called it a gift, whereas others might’ve called it a flaw. He continued thinking about it for a while, lingering on his mind even as they packed up the equipment and took the decent walk back to their horses.

By the time John and Albert made it to the cabin, the day was coming to a close. He was starting to grow fond of Alberts simple life tucked away in the forest, but once again felt the anxious pull of not hearing from anyone back at camp. Luckily, the few days here had given his body the chance to heal, admittedly finding his current living arrangements much more agreeable. It was nice to sleep under a proper roof for once.

The next morning, John woke up alone without any sign of Albert. Upon entering the kitchen, he found a note in Albert’s writing saying that he took a trip to the post office and that he didn’t wish to disturb John.

Retreating back to the main room, John couldn’t help but study the odd things that cluttered the space. There were devices strewn about that he couldn’t name if he was asked to. No doubt more equipment Albert used for his photography. The whole house was like a museum that continued to mesmerize John with each following day.

Out of the corner of his eye, a picture on the front page of a newspaper caught his attention. He furrowed his brow, thinking his eyes to deceive him in seeing who he thought it was. Moving closer to the desk it lay on, he felt his blood run cold at the realization that he had been right. There, staring at John was a picture of Nico. His eyes dropped to the writing underneath which stated:

After months on the run, the Van der Linde Boys are still evading capture. With the events of the Blackwater Massacre still fresh in our minds and the murder of the innocent Heidi McCourt (pictured above), along with many others, we wonder why they are still at large.

John had to still his hand as he read, not believing the words on the paper. There was that name again, ‘Heidi McCourt’. It taunted him from the page, making him wonder where it had come from. Who the hell is Heidi McCourt?

Whoever she was, she wasn’t Nico. That much John was sure of. And as much as he was curious about the name, he was more annoyed at how clever Dutch’s story was. If Nico was working for the law, or the Pinkertons, there was no way they would admit publicly having her be associated with them. Her death would’ve only been tying up a loose end. Of course, John knew it was all a lie, wishing there was some way to clear her name. He wished he knew more.

Turning the page over, he continued reading under the bold headline of:

TWENTY-SEVEN DEAD AT THE VALENTINE SHOOTOUT. EIGHT LOCALS.

Eight locals?! John wondered to himself. Shaken to the core of how this was caused by the event he was present for only a couple of days prior.

Even if these locals did wield guns in defense of their town, he was sure Dutch would be able to avoid shooting one, never mind eight innocent people. His heart dropped a little at the thought of Arthur being there, too.

The Valentine shootout is believed to be the result of the earlier robbery of a Leviticus Cornwall transport coach, catching the attention of the Pinkerton Detective Agency in the investigation to whether the train robbery and Blackwater Massacre are in any relation to the same group of outlaws.

He tossed the newspaper aside, worked up from the anger that rose inside him. This was all Dutch’s fault. He was becoming this unstoppable force backed by greed and foolish choices that would be the undoing of their gang. It would only be a matter of time before his vicious nature would unravel out of control.

So overwhelmed by the contents of the newspaper, John almost didn’t notice the sound of Albert entering through the front door.

“Ah, John! Good morning, sir. Are you well?”

John gave a nod, “sure.” He tried to give the man a convincing smile as he forced his gloomy thoughts from his mind. He noticed a small parcel in Albert’s hands, curiosity piquing his interest.

“You pick something up?”

Albert looked down at the small package as if he had forgotten about it, “oh, yes! Some of my prints arrived today, would you like to see them?”

John nodded enthusiastically, and watched as Albert gently undid the string that tied the wrapping together. He then came over to sit beside John.

Albert unfolded the papers to reveal a short stack of photographs, picking up the first one which depicted a buck. Its head was up, with knowing eyes that seemed to stare right at John. His antlers reached toward the skies, complementing the mountainous terrain he stood in front of.

John couldn’t help from reaching to take the photo from Albert’s hand to inspect it more closely. “That’s amazing!”

“Ah, yes, I remember that buck. Gave me quite the challenge, he did. I originally was after capturing a deer, but couldn’t seem to shake this one’s attention. The nerve of the animal, tried to run me over! And almost succeeded, too.”

Albert lifted the second picture, “see, here she is.” He handed it over for John to see. Sure enough, this one showed a deer nibbling some berries from a bush, completely unaware of the camera.

“Oh,” Albert gave a little chuckle, already having moved onto the next picture. I think you’ll quite enjoy this one.”

John accepted the photo he held out, seeing an action shot of a coyote running off with Albert’s bag hanging from its mouth.

“Cheeky little thing, that one. If it weren’t for your friend, I’d have never gotten my things back!”

John looked up at Albert, “Arthur help you with this one?”

“He did, indeed! And with another, too. Let me see if I can find it,” Albert started shuffling through the photos in his hand, but John was distracted by the next picture in the stack. He blinked, smiling to himself a little as he came to the conclusion that this one was by far his favourite.

He gingerly picked it out from the stack, Albert letting him as he continued to search.

“It’s got to be in this batch somewhere, I know I sent that reel out. You see, there were these God forsaken creatures that almost killed me! Managed to snap a few good ones before they tried ripping me to shreds, though…” Albert continued talking, but John tuned out as he studied the photo in his hands.

It was a picture of Arthur, who was smiling. It was a genuine one, which proved to be a rare sight for John. Somehow the image alone made him feel butterflies in his stomach, the way his smile reached his eyes with how they crinkled. He was captured from the waist up, holding one hand on his hip and the other up like he was about to say something. It was a candid shot where he wasn’t looking at the camera, which probably made sense as to why Albert was able to print it. If Arthur had known, there was no way he would’ve let him.

John couldn’t tear his eyes away, Arthur’s image was always well captured in photographs. Most of the pictures they had growing up were group photos where no one smiled, not like this. This one rendered John in awe, the exact moment living on forever through the photograph. It made him wish he could go back in time and capture some of his favourite memories together.

“Here it is!” Albert produced a photo from the pile before noticing John’s attention on the one he already held.

Albert leaned over to look at it. “Right! I almost forgot about that picture, I got it printed with the intention of gifting it to Mister Morgan. He’s been so helpful with my foolish endeavour, I really felt I owed him.”

“Well, if I know Arthur I’m sure he enjoyed helping you, he’s too curious not to. He’s got so many stories about the people he’s met, I’m not at all surprised that you’d be one of them.”

Albert gave a little chuckle, “he is definitely an interesting man. Nevertheless, would you mind passing it on to him? I’d very much appreciate it.”

“Sure, yeah..” John got up to find his satchel, placing the photograph inside with the intention of giving it to Arthur. Eventually, that is. For now, he thought he might hang onto it. And even as Albert went on to ramble about the other animal encounters he’d experienced while taking their likeness, John thought about how none could compare.

A steady knock at the door made John suddenly look up and Albert almost jump out of his skin with an “Ahh!” Taking a moment to compose himself, he stood and went to answer the door.

“Hello, can I help you?”

“Hi. Is John here?”

John peered over to see a familiar form stood at the entrance, making him stand up abruptly. “Charles, that you?”

Charles noticed John, giving him a relieved smile before his eyes darted back to Albert.

“This is Albert Mason, a good man. He’s been helping me get back on my feet these past couple days.”

Charles gave Albert a stern nod, “Seems we owe you our thanks.”

Albert bashfully waved it away, “it was of no trouble, I assure you, sir.”

“Please, Charles.”

John swore he could see Albert’s cheeks heat up a little as he continued, “Well then, would you like to come in for a cup of tea, Charles?”

“Thank you, but I’ve come to collect John and I’m sure he’s eager to return-”

“Yes! Yes,” John interrupted, “how is everyone? Did everyone make it okay?”

“Everyone’s fine. Abigail and the little one are safe, Arthur was the last to join us.”

John let out a breath, “good, that’s good.”

Thank God, he was relieved that everyone made it in one piece. A new flood of anticipation for returning overcoming him from the news.

“I’ll let you say goodbye,” Charles said as he gave him and Albert a nod, retreating to the horses.

John turned back to Albert, “thank you, for everything. How can I ever repay you for the kindness you’ve shown me?”

Albert gave a modest shake of his head, “please, as I told your friend, it was of no bother. Might I say, I rather enjoyed the company.”

“Well then, it’s been a pleasure,” John held out his hand to Albert, who looked down at it for a brief moment before clamping it in a firm grasp. The other man’s eyes glistened a little before he pulled John into a hug. Caught off by the gesture, John hesitated before giving Albert a slight pat on the back.

Albert pulled back, already apologizing profusely, “sorry, John, forgive me. I just-I hope the world treats you a little kinder in future.”

John smiled slightly at that. Albert was a kind man that he was grateful to have met, even if it was under such a terrible circumstance.

“And please,” he continued, “if you ever find yourself in the area, do not hesitate to stop by.”

John nodded, “of course. Thanks again, Albert.”

Walking back into the makeshift bedroom in Albert’s cabin, he took one last look around the room. He’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t miss the comfort of the place.

Grabbing his gunbelt from where it sat idle for the past few days, John secured it around his waist before picking up his coat and satchel. As he left the cabin for the last time, John found Charles waiting by his horse for him.

He looked up when John approached, “ready to go?”

John gave a firm nod, climbing on the back of Old Boy.

“Let’s go.”

Charles took the lead, mounting and walking his horse in the direction of the pathway away from the secluded cabin. John looked back to Albert, who stood at the entrance. He waved them off, and John returned the farewell with a flick of his hand.

The two spurred their horses, leaving the cabin behind them in their pursuit of the main path. They eased into a steady pace through the countryside, careful to avoid any roads that were known to be busier.

John forced Old Boy to ride up next to Charles, “how’s the new spot? Is it a good place to lie low?”

Charles gave a stiff nod, “It’s definitely more secluded than the last place. I found it myself.” He looked over to John, “figured I could be the one to show you.”

Charles turned his gaze back to the road ahead of them once more. John noted the way his expression seemed more hardened than usual, brows creased to indicate his loss in thought. It wasn’t unlike Charles to be reserved, but John sensed something was bothering him.

“I’m glad you’re the one who came to get me, it’s good to see you.”

Charles’ features softened somewhat as his attention focused back on John, “of course. I’m glad you’re okay, do you remember what happened?”

John frowned slightly at the thought of what happened back in Valentine. “Not much, I, uh, wasn’t with Dutch n’ Arthur when everything went down with Cornwall.”

“I heard. I’m glad Arthur found you. From how he described the whole thing, you’re lucky to have gotten out of there.”

John nodded, feeling his skin crawl from the recent memory. “How much did he tell you?”

“Only a little.” Charles paused for a moment before adding, “he seemed.. off when we spoke.”

“How do you mean?”

Charles took his time in replying as if choosing his words carefully. “He seemed a little wary of how Dutch handled the situation. I don’t know if you heard about it after you escaped but they were calling it a bloodbath… awfully similar to Blackwater.” His deepened frown returned, “but this time it was just Dutch.”

“And Arthur,” John added, though it sounded almost like a question.

“Hmm.” Charles’ face screwed up slightly, “I don’t know. To be honest, Arthur made it sound like he got out of there pretty fast.”

John let the thought sink in, surprised when Charles broke the silence once more.

“We’re supposed to be avoiding trouble, not causing more. What was Dutch thinking? Why didn’t he just get out of there as soon as he could?”

It was rare to see Charles so shaken, taken aback by the fluctuation in his voice. “Where will it end? The moving, the running?”

He still avoided looking directly at John, making him think he wasn’t asking him as much as just voicing his concern. John could tell it upset him. Charles had only been running with the gang for half a year or so, clearly unimpressed by the recent direction the gang had taken with their poor choices.

John swallowed, wanting to reassure Charles but finding it hard to come up with anything to say. John was probably the worst of the lot of them to consult in, having no kind words to offer about Dutch.

Charles gave a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry, brother. You’ve got enough on your mind, I’m sure.”

“Charles.”

“Hmm?”

John slowed his horse until he came to a steady halt. Charles didn’t notice immediately, turning his head back toward John when he didn’t answer right away. He stopped his own horse, a look of interest dawning his face.

“What is it, John?”

Pressing his lips together nervously, John thought carefully about what he would say next.

“Back in Valentine, when Cornwall showed up… I was by some of his men. They threw me into an alley beside the saloon Dutch and Arthur were held up at.”

Attentively, Charles listened to what John was saying, waiting for him to continue. John drew a shaky breath.

“I could hear them talking from where I was tied up and… I thought Dutch was going to cut me loose, I thought-” he broke off the sentence as his throat tightened.

“What you went through,” Charles started, his voice softer than a moment earlier. “I couldn’t even imagine. It was horrible what those men did to you. But to feel abandoned by your family… John, I am so sorry.”

John shook his head, blinking away the tears that had started to form in his eyes.

“One of the reasons I joined this gang was because of the loyalty shared amongst its members,” Charles continued. “Dutch always said that no one gets left behind, and Arthur managed to get you out of there-”

“What Arthur did isn’t what I’m worried about. It’s Dutch, Charles. I fear if Arthur wasn’t there, Dutch would have left me behind.”

The words hung in the air, suddenly making John so aware of how bold they were now that they were spoken out loud. He studied Charles, scared that he may react as Arthur did when he mentioned the same concern over Dutch.

He hadn’t meant to admit his feelings about Dutch so openly to Charles, knowing the man respected him as much as most of their peers did. John had been reserved about Dutch all of his life but had become so overwhelmed with what happened in the past couple months that his actions had become brash.

Charles gave a slow nod, “I understand your concern.”

John exhaled in relief, not realizing the breath he held in anticipation, “you do?”

“Dutch didn’t speak about what really happened at Blackwater, and now he avoids talking about what he did in Valentine. It has me questioning his methods. Arthur seems a little shaken, and now you, too? I can’t ignore something like that.”

John felt a sudden buzz from his words, almost not trusting his ears to believe what he was hearing be true. “What do you think will happen next?”

Charles let out a deep sigh through his nose.

“I trust Dutch.”

John’s eyes dropped. He knew he did, yet the statement still dealt a hard blow.

“But I trust you, too. And Arthur.”

His eyes flickered back up to Charles, widened in surprise.

“For all I know, Dutch may not have had another choice. In Valentine and in Blackwater. But I think I’ll be keeping a closer eye on things. And if you notice anything, tell me. I will be speaking with Arthur, too.”

He straightened Taima back on the road, signaling that the conversation was over for now. “Come on, we should get going.”

With that, Charles urged his horse to continue moving forward. John followed, suddenly feeling a lot lighter than a moment before. To know that Charles had the slightest shred of doubt about Dutch made John want to cry from relief.

The thought that Dutch’s risky actions finally had repercussions, even if they were minuscule, gave John the tiniest flicker of hope that ignited inside his chest. The feeling was a foreign one that John hadn’t been acquainted with in a long time. His mind was racing at the possibilities of what it could mean, that maybe there was change on the horizon.

With all that in mind, he couldn’t help but feel a little scared, too. After the years of abuse he’d received from Dutch and losing the only people who could do anything about it, John truly believed he could do nothing but accept it. But now, now he didn’t feel as alone as he did before.

Pushing down his thoughts, he tried not to get ahead of himself. He didn’t want to get his hopes up over the matter, so, for now, he focused his mind on his and Charles’ surroundings.

The low sunlight dappled John’s skin through the sparse branches above them as they made their way through another cluster of trees. The forests they found themselves in now weren’t as dense as where Albert’s cabin lay tucked away and had a different look to them.

The air was hotter, with a humidity that made John’s shirt cling to his back as they rode to their new camp. The path in front of them turned to a dusty red and seemed to reflect in the sky above them. Or perhaps it was the evening casting the earth in its warm glow. Either way, John felt like he was somewhere far from where they once were.

He thought that they must be getting close now, seeing a white wooden sign pop up ahead of them. He glanced over it as they passed by, the paint chipped from being weather worn.

WELCOME TO THE STATE OF LEMOYNE

“You guys fled to a completely different state?” John turned to ask Charles.

“Yeah, better safe than sorry. We’re near the water up this way, it’s a good spot.” Charles nodded in the direction of where their new camp was pitched, steering his horse on a small pathway that led into another heavily wooded grove. John would’ve completely overlooked it otherwise, but once they continued deeper into the shade of the overhanging branches, the path widened into a clearing just before the shore of an endless lake.

"Clemans Point," Charles stated to John at their arrival.

He could make out the familiar bustle of people strung about. Their tents and wagons were more spaciously placed than at Horseshoe Overlook, with more room for the horses, too. A thick, old looking tree was planted right in the middle, providing a promising shelter from the hot weather they would be experiencing here.

John followed Charles to a nearby hitching post, sliding off to secure Old Boy to it. He’d only just managed a tight enough knot when someone came charging toward him.

“John? John! Oh, thank God!”

Abigail threw her arms around John, making him stumble back a step before catching his balance.

She was off of him just as fast, holding him at an arm’s length, “you’re alive!”

John nodded, “so are you.”

Abigail made a noise that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a stifled cry, her eyes glistening as she smiled widely at him.

“How’s Jack?”

“He’s good, he’ll be even better now that you’re back. Come, are you hungry? There’s still some stew for you.”

She took his arm, leading him through their new camp. John looked around, his brow furrowing slightly.

“Is Arthur-”

“He’s out with Dutch and Hosea,” she interrupted him before he could finish, giving him a knowing look. “I’ll tell you more once we get you some food.”

His shoulders fell, giving in as she pulled him along. On one hand, he was glad Dutch wasn’t around to watch him like a hawk, but on the other, he was a little disappointed that Arthur wasn’t around for his return. Things would likely go back to how they were before. As if the moment shared between him and Arthur at Albert’s cabin never happened and would never be spoken about again.

The simple task of getting a hot bowl of stew from the cooking pot to his tent proved harder than he thought it would. As Abigail brought him over, he wouldn’t stop getting interrupted by the other gang members.

Some of the girls called out to say how happy they were to see him again, followed by Reverend Swanson, who stumbled by to say the same. He then began quoting a verse from the bible that John was sure he wasn’t reciting right. Only to become distracted by something else and finally leave John alone. Then there was Sadie, who practically jumped him, wearing a smile he wasn’t too used to seeing from her.

“John! You’re back, we missed you!”

She didn’t hug him like how some of the others had, which he was a little relieved of since he wasn’t used to the sudden amount of affection. Instead, she gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“I have to say, I’m glad to be back.”

She looked different from the last time he’d seen her, wearing a bright mustard yellow blouse and dark brown pants with a worn looking gun belt loosely buckled at her hips.

“You look good, Sadie.”

Her expression was a little skeptical at first, not knowing the sincerity behind John’s compliment. When he gave her a little reassuring nod, her smile reappeared.

“Thanks! Arthur and I went shopping and I thought I’d get myself a pair of pants, since most of the men around here don’t do a very good job of wearin’ them.”

He gave a laugh, “you’re right about that.”

He barely had time to say goodbye to her before Abigail whisked him away again. Javier tried to call out to John, but she wasn’t having any of it.

“You two can bond once he’s had something to eat! For now, you shut up and play your damn music!”

The last thing John saw before being shoved into his tent was a distraught looking Javier clenching onto his guitar.

The world muffled around him once he was inside the familiar canvas walls. He didn’t think he would miss it, yet looking around to find his few belongings struck a little homesickness within him.

The few books he owned were stacked neatly on top of his clothing chest, no doubt by Abigail. Some other odds and ends of his belongings lay organized on his side table.

“Thanks,” John breathed out to Abigail once he sat down on his bed with his bowl.

She sat in the chair across from him, “eat.”

He did so, scarfing down Pearson’s stew faster than he ever had before. It almost tasted good from how hungry he was.

All the while, Abigail watched him, even once he’d finished and set his bowl aside.

“So,” he broke the silence. “How have things been?”

“Tense,” Abigail pressed her lips together, eye contact not breaking his. “People weren’t too happy to be moving again so soon. Especially under the circumstance of doing so.”

“I see,” John fidgeted with his fingers.

Abigail gave an amused huff, smiling at the corners of her mouth as she dropped her gaze.

“Arthur’s fine.”

“I wasn’t-”

“It’s okay, I know you’re wondering about him. I’m just teasing you by avoiding it,” her eyes were back on his, holding a mischievous glint within them. The amusement faded slightly, “he told me about what happened with you. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I am, only because of Arthur.”

She nodded, suddenly so serious, “thank God. I was scared when he showed up alone, not knowing what could possibly have happened to you.”

“I’m okay now,” he tried to reassure her.

“I know,” she let out a breath. “Waiting around was the worst part. I’m just so glad you’re back now.”

“Did Arthur say anything else?”

Abigail shook her head, “no, he mostly just checked in with me and the boy, made sure we were doing alright. He talked a little with Dutch, the two weren’t seemin’ too friendly toward one another when we first settled here.”

John tried to imagine how that must have looked, finding it hard to do so. Even though he knew Charles wasn’t lying to him about the fact that Arthur was clearly affected by what happened in Valentine, it was still hard to believe Arthur and Dutch butting heads over it.

A sudden thought occurred to John, confusion knitting his brows together. “If they don’t seem to be getting along too well, how come he’s out with Dutch and Hosea? What’re they doing?”

Abigail rolled her eyes, “they’ve gone fishing.”

His frown only deepened, wondering what the hell Arthur was doing by going out fishing with Dutch. A little offended at the notion, he tried not to let it show as he urged Abigail to continue, “they did?”

“I know, I know,” she raised her hands like even she didn’t get why they thought now was the right time for it. “The thing is, I think it was an olive branch from Dutch. This isn’t just any member of the gang, it’s Arthur we’re talking about. I don’t think Dutch wants to lose the trust Arthur has for him.”

John let the thought sink in. That sounded like something Dutch would do, and it angered him.

For a moment, he thought about telling Abigail about Valentine, and how Dutch didn’t hesitate to leave him behind. But he bit his tongue, the last thing he wanted was her going after Dutch with the full intention of ripping him apart.

“Hey,” Abigail tried to regain his attention, her expression displaying a worry as if she could read his thoughts. “Arthur’s smart, if he’s worried about how Dutch is handling things he’ll speak up. Hosea’s no fool either, he’s been keeping Dutch in check for years.”

John nodded, but it felt hollow. He knew Abigail was trying her best to reassure him, but he couldn’t stop from thinking about how deep it ran. If Dutch convinces Arthur to look past this… he wouldn’t know what to think.

He stared out of the sliver of the tent’s entrance, completely lost to the present. Not knowing what he expected to see outside, as if he might catch a glimpse of Arthur. Like the man would appear out of thin air just from being talked about.

“I know you care about him.”

John’s head snapped back to Abigail, “what’re you talking about?”

She gave a soft smile, “Arthur.”

He blinked, sputtering over his words in an attempt to respond, “well, I mean yeah, I-we’ve known each other a long time-I just mean I trust him as a fellow member of the gang-”

“I’m no fool, John, I see the way you look at him.”

Panic consumed John completely. He stared at Abigail wide eyed and short of breath, his thoughts running a mile a minute. John had never said the fact out loud, even repressing ever really fully comprehending it internally. It came as such a shock for Abigail to say it, seizing him because of how deep he had buried that part of himself.

He quickly tried to disprove her statement, but all that came out was an incoherent noise, suddenly not knowing how to string a sentence together. He felt heat rise to his cheeks, not even able to look at Abigail directly anymore.

“See, you’re getting all flustered just talking about him!” She held up a hand to hide her laughter.

“No, I’m not!” John yelled at her, jolting upright.

She stood too, shock taking over her features which immediately morphed into concern, “hey, it’s okay!”

“Did you tell anyone?!” John blurted out, still consumed by his fright.

“No, no of course not!” Abigail hesitantly reached a hand out to put on John’s arm. He let her, both of them lowering down in their seats again, then retracted her hand.

“You can’t say anything, please, Abigail, you can’t.”

“I won’t, John. Hey,” she moved so John was forced to look at her, “I would never do that to you.”

He nodded, swallowing dryly, “okay.”

When he thought his heart rate had returned to normal, another thought struck him. “But I don’t understand, didn’t you think that…we?” he pointed between the two of them.

“Loved each other?” She gave a little huff, “I hate to say it but you didn’t exactly sweep me off my feet, John Marston.”

He just stared at her, completely dumbfounded.

“Buuut I do think that deep down you care about me as much as I care about you. Sure, at one point I might’ve hoped for more, but I don’t feel that way anymore as much as you don’t.”

She moved forward to carefully put a hand on his arm again, this time her grip firm. “All I want is for you to provide for Jack and I. I’m not asking for us to be this perfect family, just to be there for us.”

“I, yeah but-are you okay with that? Me being with…” he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence out loud.

“I want you to be happy, John.” There was a short pause before she continued, “you know there’s nothing wrong with you because of that, right?”

For however gentle her words were, he almost fell completely apart from them. His face contorted from an overwhelming sense of emotion that rendered him unable to respond.

Abigail was sitting before him, fully aware of who John was, and completely accepting of it. He didn’t think anyone could ever understand, yet somehow she did.

Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her into a tight hug. He clung onto her, almost as surprised as she was by the gesture. It wasn’t like him to do something like this, but he felt there was no other way he could have expressed his gratitude towards her.

She pulled back from their embrace, but still held onto his arms, “I have to say. You and Arthur, it’s actually kinda sweet.”

Her voice was soft when she said it, making John want to die from embarrassment.

“Jesus Christ, woman-”

The opening to the tent abruptly whipped aside, interrupting them and drawing their attention. At the entrance stood Arthur, wearing an easy smile that immediately fell when his eyes landed on John and Abigail holding each other.

John quickly dropped his arms, “Arthur-”

“Sorry, I, uh, didn’t mean to interrupt, I’ll leave you two to it.”

“Actually,” Abigail shot up from where she was sitting. “I was just leaving.”

She gave John a brief look as she moved to exit the tent, “if you’ll excuse me.” She slipped past Arthur, leaving him to awkwardly stay behind.

Silence followed when neither of them said anything, only to be broken by Arthur when it had become painfully obvious.

“Well, I just heard you’d come back and wanted to check that you’re alright, which you seem to be so I’ll just be going then.” He was gone before he’d even finished what he was saying, the tent flap falling into place after his rushed escape.

John let out a heavy sigh, letting his head fall into his hands. He cursed himself for being such a damn mess, knowing that that could have gone way better.

#morston #arthur morgan/john marston #arthur morgan x john marston #rdr2 fanfic #morston fanfic #Arthur/John #jarthur

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dwellordream · 4 years

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This is kind of two unrelated questions but: if you're still doing the director's cuts, could you do chapter 3 of grass crown? (Or whichever chapter of whichever fic you want) and what your favorite fanfics are (regardless of fandom)?

I’ll rec some fics first because that’s going to be shorter than a director cut haha: in terms of what is currently updating that I’m following: An Unexpected Journey is a great The Mandalorian fic involving one of the most well-written and well-rounded, human OCs I have ever read in any fic, ever. His Highness Steven Universe is a very funny Steven Universe AU which does a great job of portraying fledgling teen romance as being so excruciating and mortifying yet giddily fun. Little Swan Lost is a very interesting modern Hobbit AU involving female Bilbo and an arranged marriage? sounds a little far-fetched but it’s both quite angsty and quite sweet. Our Blades Are Sharp is a great ASOIAF AU series revolving around a still-kicking Domeric Bolton and Sansa Stark; it offers a really interesting take on House Bolton. War in a time of “peace” is an awesome HP AU about a daughter of Sirius Black and a French Veela and her struggles through Hogwarts in Slytherin. Chapter 3 aka Lydia’s Dramatic Entrance aka “In the garden of Eden”: I actually had a great time writing this chapter and considered it a nice breath of fresh air into the fic in general (despite it literally being Chapter 3). Lydia was one of the first ‘wholly original characters’ I thought of when developing Grass Crown, and she sort of just sashayed onto the page with a martini in hand, dressed to the nines. We literally open with Lydia staring at her reflection- or trying to- much like the fish in the Rosiers’ gaudy ornamental tank, Lydia lives in a glass house and is always under inspection and observation. Then we pretty quickly break down the Rosier family tree- mother Cordelia, father Gilbert, big brother Lyle, and pregnant sister-in-law Cecily. Cecily’s pregnancy is a big deal for the Rosiers, and a point of pride- with pureblood birth rates dwindling, a viable pregnancy is truly seen as something to celebrate and brag about. This chapter goes into detail about Lydia’s observant nature right off the bat, as well as how perceptive she thinks she is, pretty much dissecting everyone with one look alone. Projection, much? The big ‘problem’ of the hour is, of course, the floral arrangements- this is the sort of stuff that makes up Lydia’s extremely constrained life. Floral arrangements and caterers and decorations- party planning and social hours and gossip and fashion is pretty much what she’s expected to limit herself to. While it’s not immediately clear if the Rosiers have actively dissuaded Lydia from having a career or not, it’s obvious that she’s not really encouraged to be interested in that sort of thing- she’s got a big future on the horizon, but that future is someone else’s, with her sort of tacked on as part of the decor. We also see that Lydia is far from hesitant or shy; she teases and jokes and rolls her eyes, but is careful to never actually show (or even feel) any real anger or upset at the world around her. basically it’s like she’s on thin ice all the time, as toothless as the Rosiers might seem at first glance, aside from just being snobs. The scene of her under the rose trellis and by the fountain talking to her brother was the first real image I ever had of Lydia and what she’d be like in this fic. The roses are beautiful- but also completely artificial- they aren’t natural growth, they were forcibly created to bloom so wonderfully with magic and potions. We also get the first hint of Lydia’s metamorphmagus abilities here.

Lyle stands in contrast- the prodigal son to Lydia’s seemingly perfect daughter. Whereas she is always gracious and polite, he’s sullen and rude, acting more like he’s still a teenager than a 30 year old man. Lydia says “They wouldn’t even know me” in reference to guests showing up early- suggesting that the face she was just speaking to Lyle with is not necessarily the same one she’s about to put on for the party. The one real concern Lyle seems to show is that Lydia might forget to wear her engagement ring- she doesn’t seem to go around wearing it at home, which already tells us a lot about her relationship with Tom, and it is odd that in this one regard Lyle seems actually concerned- does he worry about Lydia’s interactions with Tom for her sake or his own? The ring is very much a product of the time period- it’s not an antique or heirloom like many pureblooded engagement rings might be, it’s brand spanking new, something Lydia is not at all bothered by- she clearly doesn’t mind that Tom isn’t like the other supposedly pureblood men she knows, and she is spiteful about the fact that others are jealous of her luck in becoming engaged to someone slated to become the Minister for Magic. We then find out she is just 23- very young compared to many of the other adult characters. On the other hand, we also get the sense that Lydia is looking forward to this marriage to Tom- she may not have had a say in the matter, but she certainly doesn’t view it with much trepidation or disgust, whether she actually likes spending time with him or not. She is also very aware that their engagement is part of the political machine- it looks better for Tom to marry into one of the Sacred 28 families, so that’s exactly what he’s doing, and she happens to be the lucky young lady. She acknowledges that her parents have put their faith in him to help bring back an era of grandeur and power, but expresses little interest in that herself, having more focus on the future and what it holds for her personally. Lydia then literally does up her face, which is pretty much suited to the ideal beauty standards for the time period- peaches and cream complexion, thick, light hair, small nose, thin eyebrows, dark lashes and pink lips. It’s not about what she likes, it’s about what other people expect and want to see, and, as she notes, what Tom in particular seems to like- she’s already picked up on some of that. We then get a brief flashback to their first meeting when Lydia was just nineteen and Tom twenty-six; how easily he charmed her parents and how interesting she found him, mostly because he wasn’t all over her or condescending to her. Tom is very particular about who he accepts drinks from, we see. And barely a few hours after being introduced to this man, Lydia is pretty certain she’s going to end up married to him- not because she’s falling in love, but because she knows her parents will be in favor of the match due to Tom’s political connections and rising star in the Ministry- plus the wealth it promises to bring to the family. Lydia’s reaction to this, we see, wasn’t anger or fear but general apathy. ‘Oh well,’ she seems to think. ‘Better him than someone worse.’ This doesn’t seem to be a very normal reaction for a young woman, even from a pureblood family- Lydia comes across as deeply pragmatic to her very core right from the start. We then see that Lydia has, in fact, heard of Amy, surprise surprise, but any mention of Tom and Amy’s very peculiar relationship in school has been reduced to the assumption that it was a hormonal fling. Then we finally get the party started; “No one picks a wallflower” Lydia’s mother warns her, but Cordelia has nothing to worry about- Lydia knows how to command a room and has zero issues flattering and chatting with whoever comes her way. We see more of what she finds appealing about Tom- he’s not lusting after her or forcing awkward conversations about their future, he mostly leaves her alone unless he needs her for something, which Lydia seems to prefer. For all her social graces, she seems to be a deeply solitary person who’s used to confiding in no one but herself. Tom shows up with the Princes here, and Lydia greets him like the perfect 50s housewife with a drink in hand and a kiss on the cheek. Together they put on a very cute show of young love for the Princes, and then later reunite to talk business. They discuss how things are looking good for Tom in the polls, and then Lydia does seem to express a genuine interest in something for the first time all night, and asks if they can dance. As it turns out, she really does like to dance. She also likes to needle Tom a little- she takes a risk in bringing up Amy at all, mostly so she can judge his reaction. Tom could have headed the whole thing off had he been able to shrug and go ‘who?’. Instead he reacts as if electrocuted, which really tells Lydia all she needs to know. Whoever this Amy Benson is, she and Tom have some unfinished business. Lydia quickly changes the topic, sensing Tom’s not happy to have been asked about Amy, and tells him she’s missed him. Is this true? Tom seems doubtful, but they agree that love often revolves around people entering and leaving each other’s lives, only to pop back up again. Wow, what could that be foreshadowing?

#ask #anon #ask game #grass crown #recommendations

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pro-bee · 5 years

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“Reunion” part 2

Part 1 is here

THE CONVERSATION IN THE BASEMENT

UGH MY FEELINGS

Now first up, I hate that they retconned Ziva’s origin story at NCIS to make it so that Eli ordered Ziva to kill Ari to fool Gibbs or whatever. It’s such a disservice to Ziva and her story.

BUT.

I do like how Ziva handled it here, and it makes Eli even more evil, which is fine by me, because he is the worst. He is the guy who had Ari’s mother killed as payback without any regard for how it would affect his son, apparently, so, like, I have no trouble believing he would be fine ordering the hit on his own son, who was, to be fair, homicidal and in need of “neutralizing.”

Anyway.

What I mean is that this displayed so much of Ziva’s humanity, and what shapes the core of her character.

Gibbs is understandably angry, because that whole incident in “Kill Ari Part 2″ is what cemented their bond, which took them all through season 3 to “Hiatus” and beyond, and here he thinks that’s been shaken to its core, that it was all a lie, that the woman he came to think of as a surrogate daughter (and let’s be real, his relationship with Ziva is unlike any of the others’, even with Abby). Which in turn rocks Ziva, because the last thing she wants is for Gibbs to ever think she would be so callous and cruel.

And that’s what it comes down to: Ziva may act like she doesn’t care what people think of her, but she absolutely cares about Gibbs, and if he doesn’t love her, then I would bet she thinks no one can.

Her explanation is so practical and so Ziva, but also shows so much of her heart. Yes, her father ordered her to kill Ari, but she took the mission precisely to save him. Because until the very last second she didn’t believe that her brother -- HER BROTHER -- was capable of such cruelty, and she was going to do everything in her power to prove it, including saving his life so he could plead his case.

Ziva is ride or die with her loved ones, and every brief mention of Ari indicates that he was her world -- or at least she adored him. He wasn’t some long lost illegitimate sibling spoken of in hushed tones. She was as close to him as Tali, and obviously looked up to him, to the point where she believed everything out of his mouth, despite the clear red flags, because HE WAS HER BROTHER. To everyone else he was an asset, to her he was probably her protector and her idol. (See: Gibbs.)

So when she sensed an injustice against Ari? Of course she was going to try to straighten it all out. Surely as long as she kept him safe, they would be able to work together to prove his innocence. Not realizing the odds were stacked against her because a) Eli and b) Ari actually was a psychopath. (Just because Eli was right doesn’t make him right, you know what I mean?)

(Which it turn makes me even sadder for Ziva, because it’s like there wasn’t a single person, or at least a single male, in her life before NCIS who didn’t use her as a pawn.)

Stop for a second and think about what it must have been like growing up actually thinking you were nothing more than a chess piece for your father/country/whatever in their latest mission, and thinking that was totally normal? No wonder Ziva is so fucked up still — how can you build any kind of self-esteem when you are essentially an action figure to be disposed of at someone else’s convenience?

I digress.

So, Ziva agreed to be Ari’s handler not to eliminate him, but to save him. Which is who she is, and she will not apologize for it to Gibbs, because she absolutely believes she was right. “He was my brother, and you were nothing.” WHICH IS RIGHT. It doesn’t mean she was playing Gibbs — it’s that she loved her brother so wholeheartedly, and obviously she would protect him over a perfect stranger. Just like now, she would protect Gibbs at all costs too, and he wouldn’t expect anything different. And if it were Gibbs in the position of protecting his loved one, he would agree with her too.

And the conviction in her voice — the need for him to believe her — is so important. Because she doesn’t care if Mossad or her father believed she was capable of killing Ari, because she probably thinks as little of them as they do her. But she can’t stand the thought of Gibbs believing she could do that, because he would know what it would do to her, does know what it’s done to her every day since that happened.

“Eli is all but dead to me, and now the closest thing I have to a father believes— He was my brother.” That part ALWAYS gets me. This is what it comes down to: Gibbs has been more of a father to Ziva in 3 years than Eli had been her entire life. He’s never done anything to put her in jeopardy and has always put her well-being first, whereas Eli thought nothing of sending his daughter into a kamikaze mission for some stupid revenge on a faceless terrorist. I mean it doesn’t even come close, right? The show always jokes about Gibbs being the father figure of the group, but this is the first time anyone has said it out loud, and Ziva is admitting that Gibbs is that person in her life, and she cannot lose that. Because he is her port in the storm, in the sense that his protection and nurturing and love has fulfilled a need in Ziva that she’s never been able to fill in her life. She’s basically had no parental guidance, at least not since her mom died (whenever that was), and Gibbs offered that kind of sanctuary that anyone who is lucky enough to have loving parents knows. And she finally had that.

So now it’s hitting her that her “dad” thinks she’s just like Eli, and could easily dispose of her own brother for an inconsequential mission. And that hurts, more than any barb Abby or Leon or even Tony could throw her way. Because that would just confirm her own worst fears about herself, which would crush her. Even when everything is murky with Tony or even Eli, Gibbs has been her rock, and she’s facing the possibility that that may vanish, too, and it nearly breaks her.

Also breaking her? The fact that her brother is gone. As much as the show doesn’t really dwell on a lot of these emotional traumas, Ari has been one of the few that has actually come up consistently over the years for Ziva. Not enough for my liking, but enough that you always know how conflicted Ziva is about it. That she always has to reconcile her cherished memories of her siblings as a child to what happened to them as an adult. And more than that, that she is GRIEVING Ari, still. That pain has never gone away — not in her breakdown in Gibbs’ hospital room in “Hiatus,” not when she’s being questioned by Bashan in “Shalom,” not here. “He was my brother.” And now he is gone. And the pain is still raw.

Cote de Pablo does such a good job in this entire scene. Ziva’s heart is on her sleeve, and she’s trying to hold it together and say what she needs to say, be as practical as possible, but her emotions do get the best of her, because obviously she’s still in a delicate state herself, and this entire experience and its aftermath is stirring up all these unresolved issues and feelings she’s been burying for years. She pleads with Gibbs to believe her and forgive her and just love her the way she is, but she chokes when it comes to “he was my brother,” because deep down she’s still the girl grieving her brother, but she also can’t stand to think her “dad” would think so low of her. It’s painful and beautiful.

ALL THIS BEING SAID.

ZIVA NEEDS A HUG.

THE END OF THIS SCENE DEMANDS A HUG.

NOT A GIBBS INSCRUTABLE GLARE.

I mean I get it — Gibbs still isn’t sure what to believe and it’s a lot to take in — but goddamn Ziva is breaking and the girl has been through hell and back and SHE NEEDS A FUCKING HUG YOU GUYS.

Also back to my anger at the retcon: If Ziva was supposed to kill Ari, then why the insistence in the official report that Gibbs killed him? And why was Ziva so relieved that he kept her secret for so long when she moved to DC? IT’S BECAUSE IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE WRITERS!!! There was actually no need for this retcon, ugh.

Anyway.

Enjoy my feelings!!!

#pro-bee liveblogs NCIS #7x02 #reunion #UNGH GIBBS AND ZIVA DADDY DAUGHTER FEEEEEELINGS #i love me some tiva #but i love gibbs-ziva just as much #they're like the emotional centre of the show for me #the whole ari thing has been such an untapped emotional arc since the start #i'm surprised they're even going back there

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bearingwater · 5 years

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April Forecast for Aquarius

Synergies abound! Until April 20, the Sun is in Aries and your third house of kindred spirits and communication. You’ve got ideas to share and things to express—and you’ll utilize every platform at your disposal. After a month of Mercury retrograde (from March 5 to 28) imposing a gag order on your genius, you’re ready to let those creative concepts out of the bottle. Writing, teaching and media outlets could be your playgrounds.

The April 5 Aries new moon sets the stage for a brand-new project or collaboration. With the moon in your third house of local affairs, you might find the perfect “test kitchen” right in your neighborhood. Look for resources in your own backyard or pilot a community project, from a pop-up shop to a trunk show to a small event where you can teach your new methodology. A conversation or a seed of an idea could blossom into something truly meaningful between today and the October 13 Aries full moon.

If you feel intellectual or creative chemistry with someone this month, explore! A person you meet near the new moon could turn out to be a synergistic supporter or partner in crime. Don’t rush to anoint anyone your brand-new BFF though, Aquarius. From April 10 to August 11, expansive Jupiter will be retrograde (backward) in Sagittarius your eleventh house of groups and friendships. Let the relationship unfold in due time. Only when you see who a person is through various situations will you know how trustworthy and solid they are.

Bountiful Jupiter is making its once-every-12-years visit to Sagittarius from November 8, 2018, until December 2, 2019. Your connections are going through an important evolution and possibly a few growing pains. Perhaps you’ve synced up with an avant-garde new crew or joined a group endeavor. Since the eleventh house rules technology, your social media presence could have blossomed this year. Maybe you got involved in an exciting digital venture.

Global Jupiter is bringing interesting friends and like-minded people your way in droves, perhaps from far-flung places. But have you rushed into a collaboration too quickly? You might feel a bit stifled by a group project now, which could stir a rebellious streak if you don’t get some breathing room. As much as you like a shared victory, you can’t do it at the expense of your individuality. Rather than capsize a team effort, find a way to put your unique stamp on a project or carve out something that’s yours and yours alone. Pull back and do that over the spring and summer, then you can rejoin the crowd in the fall. If you’ve sidelined a few loyal, longtime friends to be part of a new circle, use the retrograde to reconnect since these rear-facing transits connect us to our past.

Jupiter is the first of three slow-moving outer planets to start a retrograde this month, to be followed in late April by Saturn and Pluto. These luminaries make their U-turns around the same time most years, so it’s nothing to panic about at all. In fact, these celestial slowdowns can be a blessing, giving you the spring and summer to soul-search, recalibrate and correct course.

So, Aquarius, what DO you really want? A visionary moment arrives on April 19, when the Libra full moon illuminates your ninth house of big-picture goals. Under the light of this full moon, you’ll see sweeping new possibilities (ah!). You could be inspired to take a leap of faith, especially since this is the rare second Libra full moon of 2019. The first, a supermoon, fell on March 20—smack in the middle of Mercury retrograde. The conditions weren’t totally ripe for risks then, but after a month of letting the energy settle, you could be ready to make your big move. From travel to launching a startup to spreading your message far and wide, this no-limits lunation could bring a huge epiphany around your life purpose—AND the ideal platform for expressing it.

Your energy gets a bit more earthbound the next day, when the Sun begins its annual visit to Taurus and your anchoring fourth house of home and family. Slow down a little and make sure your roots are firmly planted before you blast into the Next Big Thing. Connect with loved ones, rejuvenate with self-care and feather your nest.

That said, you may experience a shakeup in your foundation on April 22, when the Sun makes its annual conjunction (meetup) with your co-ruler, disruptor Uranus. There could be a sudden change of residents under your roof, an unexpected urge to move or a need to pull up the stakes and relocate. You might decide to renovate, redecorate or make some other radical shift to your lifestyle. While that’s all well and good, this IS a one-day transit, and the dust will settle not long after. So unless you absolutely MUST make a swift change, you might be better off capturing your ideas then following up with due diligence. Start with a Pinterest board instead of impulsively painting a wall or ordering all new furniture.

The Sun-Uranus conjunction in this family zone could also bring a tense moment with a relative. The fourth house is linked to mothers and women whereas the Sun is one of the astrological symbols for a father figure. Unresolved anger might erupt out of the blue, or you might need to deal with a change related to a parent.

Resolutions take time, especially when you get to the root of them, and you’ll have plenty of time for that over the spring and summer. Transformational Pluto will be retrograde in Capricorn and your twelfth house of endings from April 24 to October 3, followed by Saturn in this same sector from April 29 to September 18. You may need to excavate some old emotions for the purpose of examination and healing. Forgiveness or closure work could be on the agenda—and with these two heavyweights in your twelfth house, the only way around it is through it.

These five-month retrogrades can be rich times for developing an artistic project or honing your spiritual practices and abilities. You may need to go a little “off the grid” to meet the muse—and she may only show up in the quiet spaces. Some media- and phone-free time would benefit you greatly now. Where have things gotten excessive in your life? Scale back, surrender and reduce the ruckus. Powerful messages and guidance will come to you if you can find that space of inner calm.

Love & Romance

Play for keeps or just keep playing? You’ll need to answer that for yourself before you can expect someone else to fill a role, Aquarius. With love planet Venus in dreamy Pisces until April 20, you might still be holding out for something with a fairy-tale ending. Yet Venus is in your second house of pragmatism and security, so you realize everything requires SOME degree of compromise. If you’re not clear about what you want and need, you won’t be able to call in the person who can satisfy that. Even if you’re in a relationship, you could be sending out mixed messages about what’s important to you: Is it enchantment you want or a rock-solid guarantee?

Confusing matters more, over in your passionate fifth house, lusty Mars is revving his engines in easily distracted Gemini all month (from March 31 to May 15), which can tempt you to do the very things that will UNDO stability. You could be attracted to excitement with an edge, which could make you shortsighted in your choices. It’s not easy to reconcile—and that’s is where self-awareness comes in. Apply yours liberally when you feel whipped about by dueling desires and temptations.

Self-discipline might be totally MIA on April 15, when Venus squares off with indie-spirited Jupiter in its own liberated sign of Sagittarius. You want to have your gluten-free cupcake and eat it too—and maybe take a few bites of someone else’s as well. Don’t paint yourself into a corner that you can’t get out of, Aquarius. Be honest with your love interest (and yourself!) and admit you’re not sure what’s best for you at the moment.

Venus scurries into straight-shooting Aries and your communication center on April 20, which might begin to give you the clarity you so desperately seek. Hopefully you didn’t burn any bridges earlier in the month. By staying open and amenable to working things out, you can get things back on track—and if you’re finally ready, the fast track.

Key Dates

April 10: Venus-Neptune Meetup Pampering: incoming! Today marks the annual alignment of romantic Venus and dreamy Neptune in your second house of sensual luxury. You don’t have to reallocate a rent payment to enjoy some world-class indulgences, like a hot-stone massage or a deliciously decadent meal. And if you can enjoy this with your favorite plus-one, all the better!

Money & Career

You’ve got ideas for days, Aquarius! And finally, you also have the green light to express them. Last month, communication planet Mercury was retrograde from March 5 to 28, making it hard to get a straight answer or clear direction. Now that the mixed-message mania is over, you can forge ahead. The Sun is in Aries and your communicative third house until April 20, perfect for writing, teaching and learning…or just to put your thoughts together into something original.

The April 5 Aries new moon could deliver an aha moment or spark a conversation that leads to more. Explore collaboration with a like-minded person and consider testing your synergy on a trial project. Over the next six months, this could potentially develop into more. But tread slowly, because risk taker Jupiter will turn retrograde (backward) in your collaborative eleventh house from April 10 to August 11.

Focus on ramping up your own star power before you share the stage with too many people. With energizer Mars in Gemini heating up your creativity zone all month, your inner performer/artist needs an outlet—and a spotlight! The April 19 Libra full moon in your visionary ninth house could bring a major epiphany about your purpose. An opportunity to travel, study or showcase your ideas through media could be part of this magical moment. The next day, the Sun enters Taurus and your domestic fourth house for a month, conjoining inventive Uranus on April 22. Carve out an “innovation station” at home because some of your best ideas could come to you while you’re relaxing at Chateau Water Bearer. Meditation, journaling and creative visualization could turn up serious epiphanies with metaphysical Pluto retrograde in your subconscious twelfth house from April 24 to October 3, joined by structured Saturn retrograde here from April 29 to September 18. If you have healing or artistic gifts, consider working with a coach or getting certified by a master trainer.

Key Dates

April 12: Mercury-Jupiter Square Watch that you don’t exaggerate or make promises you can’t keep. It’s not that you’re trying to deceive anyone…it’s just that exuberant Jupiter can inflate reality, especially when it’s squaring the communication planet! If anything, undersell yourself or what you can do. People will respect your humility—and then be impressed when you “overdeliver”!

Love Days: 9, 14 Money Days: 20, 29 Luck Days: 18, 27 Off Days: 11, 16, 24

#aquarius #monthly horoscope #astrology #horoscope #horoscopes #aquarius monthly

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