#and housemate 3 found out her boyfriend was cheating on her

[keepthedelta]

got back home after a horribly early meeting this morning to find one of my housemates chanting in the living room surrounded by crystals and immediately walked back out. i get that she's trying to reverse the curse that has befallen our house, but it is too early and i am too tired for this 🙃

[lovely-peace]

Shadows of Desires

Summary: One evening that changed everything.

Warnings: self-pity, cheating, toxic relationship, !seraphs memories pov!

Sooo... This is just a sneak peak of what COULD come next. I was sick the last two weeks and couldn't really find myself to write that's why this is so little content sorry.wc: 0.7k

Prologue - - Part 3

I sat in the dimly lit corner of the common Gryffindor room, my fingers tracing the edge of my parchment absentmindedly as I stared into the dancing flames in the fireplace. The room was alive with the chatter of Gryffindors, celebrating their latest victory on the Quidditch field. But I felt detached, distant from the euphoria that surrounded me.

Sirius, my boyfriend, was at the center of the jubilation, his charismatic smile drawing everyone's attention. He had just scored the winning goal for their team, and the adoration he received from his housemates was undeniable. But I couldn't help the bitter taste that welled up in my mouth as I watched him.

He was always the center of attention, always in the spotlight. And while everyone adored him, I felt like I was slowly fading into the shadows. Our relationship had become a mere formality, an extension of his popularity.

That evening, I was mad at him. Mad at how he seemed to forget about me once the applause and cheers began. I wanted to feel special, to feel wanted, I wanted to feel excitement and love like her for him, but all I got were fleeting moments of his attention.

Leander, on the other hand, sat a few feet away, his eyes occasionally flickering in my direction. He was different from Sirius, quieter and more reserved. There was a depth to him, an air of mystery that intrigued me. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be the center of someone's universe, even if just for a moment.

As the evening wore on, I found myself glancing at Leander more frequently, our eyes locking in silent conversation. There was something magnetic about the way he looked at me, something that drew me closer to him like a moth to a flame.

I excused myself from the celebration, telling Sirius I needed some fresh air. He barely acknowledged my departure, engrossed in his own world of accolades and admiration. I didn't care; I needed a break from it all.

Outside, the crisp night air stung my cheeks as I wandered to a secluded spot by the lake. Leander found me there, his steps hesitant but purposeful. He didn't say a word, just sat down beside me, his presence comforting in its silence.

"You left him and he didn't follow."

We sat there, side by side, staring out at the tranquil waters. The moon cast a soft glow on his face, accentuating the contours of his features. And in that moment, I realized that I craved the attention he gave me, the way he made me feel seen.

"And you did?" I wanted to tease him but he ignored my tone.

"I would always follow you." his eyes stared in mine and in this exact moment I let my guard down.

Our lips met in a hesitant kiss, a spark of desire igniting within me. It was wrong, I knew that, but it felt so right in that moment. Leander's fingers brushed against my cheek, his touch electrifying as our kisses deepened.

I didn't feel guilty. I felt alive, desired, something I hadn't felt in a long time. Leander hesitated at first, his conscience wrestling with his desire, but eventually, he gave in to the undeniable chemistry between us.

But as the evening wore on and our stolen moments continued, I couldn't help but wonder if I was making a mistake. I was still mad at Sirius, but I knew that two wrongs didn't make a right.

Then, as we shared one last lingering kiss, I saw him. Sirius stood in the shadows, his eyes fixed on us, a mixture of hurt and anger in his gaze. I couldn't read his mind, but I knew he had seen everything.

Leander pulled away, a hint of regret in his eyes, and I felt a pang of guilt. But when I looked at Sirius, I couldn't bring myself to feel remorse. Instead, I felt a strange sense of satisfaction, like I had shown him that I wasn't self-explanatory.

Sirius turned and walked away, disappearing into the darkness. I knew that our relationship was forever changed, but in that moment, I didn't care. For the first time in a long time, I had felt something real, something that made me feel alive.

The little girl in me cheered, but didn't realize that I lost him.

Taglist: @theofficialmadman@fanboyluvr@fjdjsiskcjfj@starsval@olkathedestroyer@helloitsmeeeeeee@xamapolax@maripositanoctruna@ancientimes@cloudlst@marina468@regulus-black-223048@loving-and-dreaming

[shaalk]

My housemate's man- Chapter 2

Type: Chaptered

Characters: Sehun x Reader, Jongin x Reader

Genre: Cheating Au, Smut, Fluff, Romance, Angst

Warnings: Dry humping, dirty talk, blow job, cumshot, cum eating

Status: Ongoing

Summary: Sehun is cheating on his girlfriend with me, her housemate. He thinks we’re just using each other’s bodies, and so do I at first. But then my heart suddenly comes into play.

Words: 3760

Tags: @myexoobsession @mooneyyay-blog-blog @bubbleteavery @pimpnameyannie @a-teez-4-exo @jvsmine19

Mini masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

Seasons have changed and months have passed since that encounter with Sehun, and I now have a boyfriend.

My company had gone through a major restructuring and I was put into the same team as Kim Jongin. I had seen him at the office before, it wasn’t hard to notice him when he was the literal definition of sex on legs and, the apple of every female employee’s eye. From his sun-kissed skin and defined jawline that could cut, to his button nose and supple lips. The Greek gods had nothing on this man.

But of course, I hadn’t spoken to him prior to becoming desk-mates. Jongin had this aura around him that made him seem arrogant and mighty, but once I was able to properly converse and work with him on a daily basis, I found him to be down to earth and humble. He had a knack for making people laugh and was so adorable when he played with puppies or told me stories about his nephew and niece.

We naturally gravitated towards each other as we spent hours working late nights and completing projects. It wasn't long after we started working together that I realised I was feeling a little something more for Jongin. If an irregular heart rate whenever he talked to me wasn't enough evidence, my rosy cheeks were a dead giveaway.

So when Jongin popped the question on if I would be his girlfriend or not, the answer was pretty simple.

It was a big fat yes.

_________________________________

I haven’t spoken to Sehun since the fateful night in my room, but we see each other often of course, since he’s always at my apartment. Because we don't want Seulgi to suspect anything, we only keep up with our usual hi’s and bye’s. Actually, I am the one who ensures our conversations are simple. There were a few instances where Sehun tried to escalate out talks, but I completely shut him out.

I don't forget to lock my room door every night just in case Sehun tries to sneak in. So far, there have been quite a few instances when my door knob jiggled in the middle of the night, and I just know he’s the culprit because Seulgi has no reason to come to my room.

At first it was painstakingly difficult to be in my own apartment because Sehun was always there. It was as if he didn't have a home of his own. I mostly stayed cooped up in my room when he was over, saying that I had work to do or was feeling fatigued. I stopped hanging out and having dinner with Seulgi and Sehun as well. The former, thankfully knows to leave me alone, despite her character of being a busybody. This is the only time I am thankful for my housemate's cluelessness.

With Jongin in the picture, I find myself being less bothered by Sehun’s presence and I am less wary around him too. At least I think I am. My attention is solely on Jongin anyway. It's like i'm smitten with him.

The only time I don't mind being in the company of Sehun and Seulgi is when Jongin is around. Otherwise, I stay in my room. This rarely happens now because Jongin is at my place a lot. He stays over often since my apartment is closer to our office than his.

_________________________________

Seulgi and Sehun offered to get us dinner. So, only Jongin and I are left in my apartment. Since we have the abode to ourselves, we decide to take advantage of our situation and get a little carried away with our display of affection.

I am perched on Jongin’s thighs with an arm resting on his chest and the other one playing with his hair. His growing boner is directly under my heat as he nibbles hungrily on my bottom lip. I circle my hips for some friction against my clit and Jongin rewards me with a throaty growl.

In a flash, our make out session turns into a full-on dry humping session. Jongin has an almost bruising hold on my hips as he helps me grind the lower half of my body into his.

I giggle into the messy kiss when Jongin accidentally bites on my tongue, but I continue riding his clothed crotch like my life depends on it. Jongin glides his hands down from my hips to my thighs, and then slowly slithers them around my back. His fingertips caress me through the thin material of my top and I squirm involuntarily, arching my back into him.

Jongin slides his hands lower from my mid-back, until they push their way under the material of my shorts and panties. He grips my cheeks in his callused hands and spreads them. My mouth parts in a gasp and he takes the opportunity to suck on my tongue like one would a lollipop.

I move from caressing Jongin's chest and hair, to fingering the waistband of his pants. I am just about to untie his sweats so I can grab his length in my palms, when we hear the door slam shut.

We jump apart in surprise, the kiss breaking with a loud smack because of how hard Jongin had been sucking on my wet muscle. I quickly scramble off my boyfriend’s lap, but it's too late. We've already been caught.

Seulgi and Sehun are staring at us playfully. Actually, only Seulgi looks upon us with mirth swimming in her eyes and cheeks aflame. Sehun on the other hand, is shooting death glares at us. Specifically, at Jongin.

“Having fun?” Seulgi’s overtly shrill voice breaks the silence in the apartment.

She wiggles her eyebrows teasingly and I just have to bury my face into Jongin’s shoulders to hide the blush that is creeping up onto my cheeks. My boyfriend chuckles and runs his fingers through my hair to soothe me.

Seulgi's eyes dart between Jongin and I. When she zooms in on the tent in the former’s pants, she flusters and turns away immediately, like she has just seen something incredibly obscene.

Gosh, sometimes her innocence is so obnoxious. No wonder Sehun had to fuck me, since sex was off the table with Seulgi. She is the kind of girl who doesn’t believe in having sex before marriage, and will only give her virginity away to her husband. I don't think there is anything wrong with her mindset, nor do I have anything against it.

But seriously, when a 27 year old constantly squeaks and covers her eyes every time a heated kiss scene plays on TV, it gets really annoying. She is only okay with pecks, and that is the furthest she and Sehun have gone.

Anyhow, Seulgi turns a blind eye and quickly busies herself with unpacking our dinner in the kitchen. I toss Jongin a small pillow to cover his hard-on, which he grabs with gratefulness. I can tell he is embarrassed and I am a little pissed with Seulgi because she really could have ignored whatever she saw. Nevertheless, when Sehun starts helping his girlfriend, I get up to give them a helping hand.

Jongin slaps the bottom of my ass when I walk past him. The sound of the smack is crystal clear in the quiet apartment, so much so that Sehun turns around to see what we’re up to. I know Seulgi heard the sound as well, but is too shy to take a peek at what the cause of it is.

From my peripheral view, I see Sehun's jaw clenching and his nostrils flaring up when he sees the little show of Jongin kneading my butt cheeks.

That’s right asshole, you reap what you sow.

I know Sehun’s unwavering gaze is on us but I don't care. I bend down to give Jongin a swift kiss, intentionally jutting my butt out into his hold. I take his top lip between mine for a second and then I pull away. I wink at my boyfriend, who is staring up at me with misty eyes, and then skip my way to the kitchen to help the couple by grabbing the necessary cutlery for our meal.

After dinner, the 4 of us remain on the couch, watching a random sappy drama playing on TV. Jongin and I are on one side, while Sehun and Seulgi are on the opposite end. The latter couple are sitting side-by-side with no skin ship whatsoever. Onlookers would probably think they’re just close friends.

Meanwhile, my legs are resting on Jongin’s thighs and he’s rubbing circles into my ankles. I am so immersed in the drama playing, that when Jongin runs a finger against the sole of my foot, I yelp and retract my legs.

I shoot Jongin a glare and pretend to kick him in the face but he only guffaws at me. Seulgi coos at our interaction but Sehun just gives us a look that is void of any emotion.

“You guys are so adorable,” Seulgi mentions passingly with her fingers clasped and her eyes sparkling, like she’s seeing her favourite toy.

Jongin and I glance at each other for a moment, then we suddenly burst out in laughter. We're embarrassed because of the compliment we’ve just been given. I bury my face into my boyfriend’s chest to hide my red cheeks and he rubs circles into my shoulders to comfort me.

Jongin digs his nose into my hair and inhales sharply. The simple action sends my heart into overdrive and I feel like I am melting. He has been doing that since we were merely desk-mates, saying that my scent calms him down and that he just likes doing it altogether. The act is so endearing that I find my heart racing every time he does it.

Only when I hear the sound of someone clearing their throat abruptly do I shift away from Jongin. Seulgi's, Jongin's and my attention darts to the culprit right away.

“I’m going to bed first,” Sehun announces without making eye contact with any of us.

Jongin and I don’t reply of course, but Seulgi does.

“Ok Hunnie, i’ll join you in a bit,” she enthusiastically shouts over her shoulder, in the irritatingly high-pitched voice that always gives me a headache.

Sehun doesn’t answer her, he simply storms off to his girlfriend's room and slams the door shut behind him.

Jongin gives me a look of confusion. He leans closer to me and I do the same, knowing he has something to tell me.

"Did he really have to broadcast that?” He whispers under his breath, like something absurd has happened.

I chuckle breathily and shrug.

Seulgi stays in the living room with Jongin and I until the end of the drama, then she bids us a good night before sleepily dragging her feet to her room to join her boyfriend.

“Shall we go in too?” Jongin questions while he massages my calves.

I nod and before I can even get up, Jongin swiftly sweeps me off my feet, or butt, and carries me bridal style. I gasp when he throws me in the air slightly and catches me in his strong arms.

“Jongin!” I giggle even though just a second ago, I was worried that my boyfriend was going to drop me.

My arms immediately find home around Jongin’s neck just to be safe.

“You know I can walk right?” I say half-heartedly, with no intentions of letting go of my boyfriend.

He doesn't show any signs of wanting to put me down anyway. Instead, Jongin holds me closer to his body and makes his way across the apartment to turn off the lights.

“I know. But I don’t want to let my princess do that,” he shrugs.

I am staring up at my boyfriend with my lips pursed. My serotonin level is through the roof and i’m pretty sure there are hearts shooting out of my eyes because I can feel the butterflies swarming around in my belly. Jongin feels the heat of my stare so he rewards me with a wink and a megawatt smile that showcases all his pearly whites.

He’s got me so abashed in his hold that I have no choice but to bury my nose into his chest to hide my face. I hear him chuckle and I can feel the comforting vibrations from his chest.

Gosh, Kim Jongin has got me spellbound.

I barely hear my bedroom door close behind us. I am only aware of my whereabouts when Jongin throws me on my bed.

When Jongin attempts to stand back up to his full height, I don’t let him. Instead, I grab the collar of his shirt and yank him down until he falls over me with a surprised gasp.

I cling onto my boyfriend like a koala despite his full body weight pressing down on me.

“Oppa?” I call out.

Jongin hums.

“Can I try something?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

It warms my chest that Jongin trusts me fully and has no suspicions on what i’m about to do.

I nudge Jongin’s shoulder gently and he gets the hint right away. He dismounts me and sits on the mattress, waiting for my next move. I step off the bed wordlessly, and stand by the bottom right corner.

“Sit here, please.”

I pat the space I am referring to. I grin thankfully when Jongin follows my instructions and crawls over to sit at the gestured spot with no questions asked.

I nimbly grasp the hem of Jongin’s t-shirt between my fingers and he immediately raises his hands up with a knowing smirk. I suck in my lips as I pull off his top, before I busy myself with untying the ribbon on his sweats. Jongin helps me by lifting his butt off the bed so I can pull his pants and boxers down at the same time.

Once I fling his clothes behind me, I gather my hair into a messy bun and get on my knees. Jongin knows what is coming, so he prepares himself by leaning back on his palms and parting his legs for me to kneel between them.

“I’m gonna drain your balls tonight, baby.”

Jongin is left speechless and his mouth parts in disbelief when I make a vow so salacious. I smirk at his reaction and get to work.

His member is pointing up to the ceiling, so I pull it down towards my mouth. I barely get to blow warm air against the tip and yet, I already have Jongin producing guttural groans and sighs. I start by kissing him from the slit to the base of his cock. By then, he is throbbing in my palms.

As I come back up, I give Jongin kitten licks on the bottom side of his length, especially the protruding vein. I then suck on the head of his cock till my cheeks cave in. I pull away to inhale and then I unceremoniously wrap my mouth around his penis. I cover my teeth with my lips and then start swirling my tongue around his rod. I focus my attention on the underside of his cock, where the head and length meet. I know it is the most sensitive part, so I concentrate on licking there the most.

My jaw is starting to ache, so I pull Jongin's meat out of my mouth and grab it firmly at the base. I start moving the skin up and down, and twisting it with my hand while my tongue licks circles around the head.

I interweave my fingers with Jongin's and then take half of his dick into my mouth before flicking my tongue around it. I make sure to maintain eye-contact with my man because I want to see his expression as he lets himself go.

I know Jongin is about to cum because his moans are coming out more raspy and his breath is quickening. He usually lasts for quite a long time, but because of our mini foreplay session in the living room before Sehun and Seulgi walked in on us earlier, his orgasm is building up much faster than it normally does. I have no complaints though, I just want to taste him already. So, I implement the method that always has him blowing his load in no time.

I deep-throat him.

I take him in all the way until he is hitting the back of my throat, then I stay motionless. I swallow and the action makes Jongin let out an animalistic growl. His legs start twitching and trembling. I know he is so, so close. I moan around his length, the vibrations sending lightning bolts of pleasure up his body.

"Baby girl, oppa is gonna cum," he chokes out breathlessly.

Jongin's phone dings all of a sudden, breaking up the steamy atmosphere. Our eyes dart to the source of the shrill noise in unison. And while Jongin and I are momentarily distracted, he shoots the first of his load down my throat when I least expect it. I let go of his hands and pull away from his hips to cough and sputter since I was caught off-guard.

Jongin disregards the device, worried curses leaving his lips. He starts tucking the hair away from my face and tilts my chin up so he can get a proper look at me.

“You alright, love?” He questions as he swipes my damp eyelashes.

I nod with an assuring smile to calm him down and Jongin exhales in relief. I perk up on my knees and bite the side of my lip seductively.

“Cum in my mouth, oppa. I wanna eat your babies,” I whisper as I plead Jongin through my lashes.

I open my mouth and go to the extent of sticking my tongue out, just to show him how eager I am.

Jongin gives me the side-eye for being a potty mouth, but that doesn’t last too long because when I start whining and bouncing on my knees, he springs into action by pumping his meat. I get rid of my t-shirt and bra before I start fondling with my tits, just kneading them and toying with the taut peaks to give my boyfriend an extra stimulating visual aid.

Jongin licks his lips as he concentrates on bringing himself over the edge. His breathing quickens when he tugs on his dick faster and faster. His hips start jerking forward and his jawline becomes more prominent when he clenches his teeth. His mouth parts in a silent moan, he scrunches his eyes tightly and throws his head back and right then, jets of his milky cum burst out in an arc from the tip and land all over my face, in my mouth and on my chest.

Jongin is shuddering by the time he’s done releasing. But I don’t let it end there of course. While he has his eyes shut and still isn’t paying attention to me yet, I scootch forward and boldly take him into my mouth again.

“Fuck!”

He flinches when the warmth of my cavern encompasses him and his eyes shoot open. He chokes out a strained profanity when I start playing with his balls and hollowing my cheeks around him once more. When I am rewarded with another string of semen, I know he has finally let out all his pent up frustration, so I lean back to clean myself up.

Jongin marvels at the sight of me swiping the remnants of his cum off my face and body, and shoving my fingers into my mouth. I hum in appreciation when the taste of the sticky, salty liquid hits my tongue. I even go to the extent of licking the cream that got on Jongin’s hand when he was jerking himself off.

“Gosh, baby girl, you look like an angel but feel like the devil.”

I bite on my bottom lip shyly and get back up on my feet. Jongin grabs me by my hips, hauls me onto his lap, and then he falls back onto my mattress with a content sigh.

I reach out for his phone on the bedside table and pass it to him.

As Jongin reads through the text, I idly trace unknown shapes and figures onto his hard stomach. I know something is up when his brows furrow and he clicks his tongue in annoyance.

It takes him a minute but once Jongin fully reads the message, he sits up with a tired groan. He gently sets me down on the bed and hops off. He unwillingly circles the room to grab his clothes and puts them on, article by article.

“Where are you going?” I whine.

Jongin knows how much of a cuddle freak I am, especially after we've been intimate, so it’s weird that he’s suddenly fussing around when i've literally just had his cock down my throat.

“I have to go home, sweetheart. I need to go into the office tomorrow.”

I scowl.

"But it's a Saturday tomorrow!"

"I know, baby,” Jongin coos, “but boss needs me to edit the LG proposal for Monday and the file is in my house. I'll come over as soon as I'm done, ok?"

I cross my arms like a spoiled child and jut my bottom lip out. Jongin watches me with soft eyes, patiently waiting for me to calm down, as he struggles to get his left leg into his pants. I huff and sit up, inevitably giving in. It isn't like he has a choice anyway.

"Fine! But you better buy me sweets before you come over!”

Jongin chuckles and nods, “of course, baby girl. Anything you want.”

He then goes to stand in front of the mirror to adjust his outfit so that he looks presentable enough to go out in public. He then rakes his fingers through his dishevelled hair for good measure as well.

Once he no longer looks like he has just received the suck-off of his life, Jongin comes over to me. He leans down to breathe in the scent of my hair before he kisses me on my cheek.

“Goodnight, baby girl.”

“Night,” I try to greet as unhappily as I can, but I can feel the heat on my cheeks.

Jongin notices my bashfulness so he grins down at me one last time and strokes my cheek before he’s out of my room.

Soon after, when I hear the apartment door close, I groan and thrash against the mattress.

I already miss my boyfriend.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

A/N: Let me know what you think! Please leave a comment:)

[yellowsuitcase]

In the Prefect’s Bathroom Part 3 // Draco Malfoy

A/N: Hi guys! I’m so excited for y’all to read this. This series has gained a lot of traction and tbh it’s a bit scary but I really hope you guys like this. There WILL be a Part 4 and it WILL be the FINAL part! Look forward to it! Thank you so much!

Summary: Y/N deals with the aftermath of her breakup and Draco comforts her. The pair grow closer and Draco can’t ignore his feelings, but is Y/N able to accept them?

Warning(s): Swearing, mention of breakup, lots of crying, violence

Word Count: 3.8k

Masterlist & Taglist form

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

{Not my gif}

Y/N didn’t know where Harry had gone. Three hours had passed, and he'd never come back to his dorm. Y/N knew she ought to leave. She couldn’t stay in his room, not anymore. Luckily, it was Saturday, which meant no classes. Y/N slid off Harry's bed, the same one they'd cuddled on almost every week, and walked over to his mirror. Her reflection didn’t surprise her; her hair was knotted, and her eyes were bloodshot from all the tears. They hadn’t ceased until an hour after Harry left. While letting out an exhausted sigh, Y/N rubbed her hands down her face. She just felt so disappointed in herself. And not to mention her newfound sense of loneliness. It was crippling.

But when she felt well enough, she stepped away from the mirror, walked through the wooden door, and all the way down the familiar stone steps. The closer she got, the louder the voices were. Of course, she thought. It's Saturday; it makes sense that everyone would be in the common room. Once Y/N was near the last few steps, she could see fellow Gryffindors hanging out by the fire while others were doing their schoolwork. But when Y/N emerged into the room, all conversations quieted, and all eyes turned to her. It seemed as though word of the breakup had already reached their ears. She did her best to block out the whispers and avoid eye contact with anyone as she continued walking to her bedroom. Once she arrived, she was surprised to find that her roommate was inside.

“Oh, there you are. I was wondering when you’d be back,” she said. Y/N stood still in the doorway for a moment, debating whether or not to reply. Ultimately, she decided she didn't have the energy to fake a smile. Instead, she stumbled to her bed and collapsed on top of it, face first. “Did you get breakfast?” her roommate, Stephanie, asked. Y/N groaned in reply. Of course, she didn’t get breakfast; she wouldn’t be able to stomach anything in such a state. Stephanie stood near Y/N's bed, wondering if she should say or do something. Eventually, she decided she was uncomfortable with the tension in the air. “Well, I have some Charms homework, so... I’ll just… leave you to it,” she said awkwardly. Y/N heard her footsteps, then the sound of their door opening and closing. Tears instantly rushed to her eyes. Not even her roommate wanted to be around her. And based on the reaction of the students in the common room, nobody did. But Y/N couldn't blame them; she wouldn't want to associate with a cheater either.

The Gryffindor turned over on her plush mattress, her back now pressed against it. Upon opening her eyes, she noticed she’d stuck a photograph of her and Harry onto the ceiling. A jolt of pain struck her chest, but she forced herself to her feet and jumped. Her legs propelled her high enough to rip the picture down in one swift motion. It felt heavy in her palms. She breathed in shakily as she examined it. Her head was on Harry’s shoulder in the photo, and his arm was around her waist. It was from one of their trips to Hogsmeade earlier that year. The Y/N in the picture was smiling brightly as Harry squeezed her tight. Y/N gripped the paper, and with tears falling from her eyes, she ripped it down the center. The sound of it caused a painful cry to escape her lips. But once her hands stilled and she saw the destruction clutched in them, her suppressed anger took over. Forcefully, she put the pieces on top of one another and ripped through them again. And again. She kept going until the image of her and Harry was reduced to tiny little shreds of paper.

Y/N then cried for a couple minutes, wetting the shreds with her tears as she mourned what once was. But when she got a hold of herself, she clutched the pieces in one hand and slid off her bed. Stephanie had left the windows open, so Y/N walked over to them and stuck out her closed fist. With a heavy heart, she opened her palm and watched as the pieces scattered into the wind. 

When all of them were out of sight, Y/N grasped the windows' handles and pulled them towards her, shutting out the late morning air. Defeatedly, she sunk into the seat below the windows and breathed in a shaky breath. She felt so broken, so stupid. Even though Harry hadn’t been the perfect boyfriend, Y/N knew she was the one who fucked up; she was the one who cheated. And despite everything that happened between them, Harry didn’t deserve that. Not at all.

--------

Later on in the day, Y/N’s hunger finally got the best of her, so she dragged herself out of bed and cleaned herself up. She threw on a comfy sweater, a simple pair of sweats, and pinned her hair back with some clips. It was late in the afternoon, surely the Great Hall would be nearly empty as it was Saturday. At least, that was what Y/N was hoping for. The idea of the entire school staring at her made her feel uneasy. But she shook the thought away, grabbed her wand, and headed out the door. The people in the common room, once again, looked up upon her arrival but said nothing. Y/N could feel their judging stares on her back as she rushed through the archway, closing the Fat Lady portrait behind her.

The hallways were pretty deserted, save for a few wandering Slytherins. They were always rather fond of slinking around corridors. Y/N paid them no mind as she walked down the stairs to the Great Hall. It was, as she suspected, nearly empty. The Gryffindor table was clear except for some first years. Y/N started to walk towards it when her elbow was grabbed. She instinctively whipped around and wrenched her arm from the person’s grip. Her heart clenched when she saw who it was. 

“Hey… I heard about you and Potter,” Draco said. He looked sheepish as he fiddled with a loose thread hanging from his dark green sweater. 

“Is that all?” Y/N almost whispered, her voice scratchy from all her crying. 

Draco’s eyes seemed sad when they met hers. “I… don’t know what to say. But I do know that if I were you, I’d want someone to check up on me, so...” he paused, looking away from her. “Are you okay?” he finally asked. Y/N stared at him for a moment. She was not expecting those words to come out of Draco Malfoy’s mouth, but when they did, and when they registered, she couldn’t stop the sob that fell from her lips. 

Draco froze in shock. He had definitely not been expecting the girl to burst into tears right in front of him. But now that she was, his instincts screamed at him to comfort her. It was just...he didn’t quite know how. Draco was unfamiliar with girls. All he knew was how to have sex with them, and usually, that was a fun activity with no strings attached. Well, except with Y/N. Something about her was simply different from the others. The first time they did the deed, he’d pushed away the fuzzy feeling in his chest. The second time, however, he cleaned her. He cleaned her. Usually, he’d leave the girl to do that on her own time, but for some reason, with Y/N, he had taken it upon himself to fulfill that gesture. And not to mention the fact he kissed her. Twice! Granted, they were only on her temple, but they were still kisses for Merlin's sake.

But here he was, facing the girl responsible for all his confusing emotions, and she was crying. Draco glanced around the hall and noticed people beginning to stare. He shot them mean glares without thinking twice. They averted their eyes. When he turned back to Y/N, he found that she was looking at him. Her eyes held so much sadness that they made Draco’s heart physically hurt when he looked into them. So he did what his mother would always do when he cried. He lifted his arms and gently took Y/N into them. She hesitated at first but then buried herself into his chest, still heaving heavily with sobs. Draco rubbed her back in a soft, soothing motion. But then he quickly remembered where they were, so he put down his right arm, leaving his left on her back, and led them out of the Great Hall. 

Once in the corridor, Draco wasn’t sure where to take Y/N. He couldn’t take her to his common room. His housemates would likely be doing all kinds of illegal shit, and he didn’t want to surround Y/N with that while she was in such a fragile state. And, of course, her common room wasn’t an option since Harry and his friends would probably be there. It was too dark to go outside, and they wouldn’t be able to talk properly in the library. Draco was beginning to panic, but then it hit him; the Astronomy Tower. It was one of his favorite spots, and it was relatively likely that no one would be there. He wrapped his arm tighter around Y/N and began walking towards the tower. 

After a few minutes of walking and climbing the long staircase, the pair came to the top and shuffled into the Astronomy Tower. Y/N’s cries had died down already, she was only sniffling now, but Draco still kept his arm around her. “Why are we here?” she asked. Draco said nothing; he only walked them over to the railing. Y/N stared at him, perplexed, but Draco remained silent as he turned his nose up towards the sky. He loved looking at the stars. They reminded him how small and insignificant he truly was. And for someone like him, who had what felt like the weight of the world on their shoulders, it was comforting. 

When he was finally able to tear his eyes away from the sky, Draco dropped his arm from Y/N''s back and turned to her. She, too, had been staring at the sky. But when the blonde faced her, she tilted her head towards him and raised an eyebrow. Draco cleared his throat as his fingers found that loose thread. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked. Y/N scoffed. “Talk about what? How I’m the shittiest girlfriend ever? Or rather, was the shittiest,” she asked, her eyes shifting back to the stars. Draco sighed. “Well, I’m at fault here too, you know…” he said. Y/N rubbed her fingers on her forehead; she looked exhausted. “Draco, I appreciate it, but I made the decision to have sex with you. I knowingly and willingly cheated on Harry. You may have been the one I did it with, but that doesn’t put you at fault for my actions.”

“But I knew you were—,” Draco cut himself off with a sigh. “Well, why’d you do it then?” he asked. Y/N gave him an unimpressed look. “I already told you why. He didn’t satisfy me in the bedroom. Point, blank, period.” Draco shook his head. “But you obviously loved him, so why did you go through with it?” he pressed further. Y/N said nothing as she sunk to the floor and stuck her feet out so that they dangled off the edge of the tower. Draco didn’t join her initially, but after a minute or two, he sat down beside her and leaned his arms against the lower rung of the railing. Y/N played with her fingers anxiously for a bit before responding. “I guess…I felt like he and I were growing distant from each other. We stopped going to Hogsmede, we stopped studying together, we just...stopped,” Y/N said quietly, her voice deep and rough from her tears. “But that doesn’t make it okay; nothing makes it okay.” Draco’s eyebrows furrowed together. He could hear the pure pain in her voice, and he didn’t know what to think of it. All he knew was that it made his fists clench and his heart squeeze. 

Draco gazed at the girl beside him. She was so beautiful in the moonlight. Her skin looked soft. He so wished he could reach out and stroke her cheek, but he knew that would likely put her off. Instead, he unclenched his fist and wrapped his hand around hers. He felt her jump slightly upon feeling his touch, but then, she smiled at him. God, how he loved her smile. It made him feel warm. He wanted to share that warmth Y/N, so he scooted close to her. Their shoulders were now pressed together. He gazed down at her, studying her face. “How do you feel?” he asked tentatively, not knowing quite where the question came from. Y/N hummed and replied with one word. “Alone.”

“Well...for what it’s worth, I’ll be here if you need someone,” Draco replied in an uncertain tone. He still wasn’t really sure what he was doing, but he trusted what his gut was telling him. And it seemed like it was the right thing to say because out of nowhere, Y/N’s arms wrapped around Draco’s neck, and her body pressed up against him. Instinctively, Draco returned the hug. He pulled her close and nestled his face in the crook of her neck. Nothing was okay, not yet, but at the very least, they now had each other. 

-------

A few weeks later…

Draco twirled his wand between his fingers while he strolled through the stone corridors. He had a free period this school year and would often spend it by riding his broom around the quidditch pitch and trying out new tricks. He was on his way there now. He’d even asked Y/N to meet him there, considering she too had an open slot in her schedule. 

After their night at the Astronomy Tower, they started spending lots of time with one another. They played gobstones, hide n seek around the castle, and had recently begun studying together. Surprisingly, the two of them had become pretty good friends despite having only started talking about a month ago. But when Y/N had mentioned to Draco that she hadn’t ridden a broomstick since first year, he had insisted she join him for one of his joyrides. She resisted at first, but Draco promised her he’d let her choose another activity for the two of them and that he wouldn’t protest, no matter how stupid he thought it was. He was quite proud of himself for thinking up that one. Truth be told, Draco had gone soft for Y/N and would probably do whatever she wanted to do, but she didn’t need to know that.

While Draco was walking down the corridor, he heard the faint sound of laughing as well as a thud. It seemed like it was coming from ahead, so he increased his pace. When he turned the corner, he was surprised to find Y/N sprawled out on the floor with some Gryffindors standing above her, snickering. “What a piece of shit. Fucking slag,” one of the girls spat. The rest of the group laughed at her words and even began to kick Y/N’s sides. Draco felt anger rising in his chest. How dare they. How fucking dare they. 

Without thinking, he ripped his wand from his pocket and shouted, “Stupefy!” A shot of bright light flew towards the group. It knocked them off their feet and into the air. They each landed with a loud thump, but Draco couldn't care less. He ran over to Y/N just as she was getting to her feet. “Are you alright?” He asked her as he scanned her body, looking for injuries. Y/N nodded, but it was clear that she was frightened. Before he had the chance to comfort her, Draco’s attention was taken by the sound of a soft chuckle. He looked past Y/N to see the Gryffindors back on their feet. 

“Would you look at that? The man-whore came to save you Y/N. Why don’t you drop to your knees for him and give us a little show?” said a tall, light-haired boy. Draco’s shoulders heaved with fury, and he raised his wand again. “Draco, no!” Y/N shouted desperately, but the Slytherin was already casting the curse. “Petrificus Totalus!” Draco bellowed. Instantly, the boy’s body froze in place and fell over, causing his head to hit the stone floor. His friends jumped to his defense, raising their wands towards Draco, ready to strike. But Draco was smarter. He pointed his wand towards a pile of books on a nearby bench and whispered, “Oppugno.” The books quickly shot into the air, and with another wave of Draco’s wand, they were directed towards the two remaining Gryffindors of whom were confused at first. However, when a book slapped one across the face, they realized these objects were attacking them. Hastily, they scrambled for their previously discarded items, grabbed them, and bolted down the hallway, screaming as they went. 

Once they were gone, Draco marched up to the frozen boy lying on the floor. He glared into his eyes and lifted his foot. “Draco, don’t you dare,” Y/N warned as she followed after him. But all Draco could see was red. There was no way he'd back away from the chance to give the boy a taste of his own medicine. So, he pretended he hadn't heard Y/N, and rammed his foot into the Gryffindor’s side, just as he had done to Y/N. “Stop!” Y/N shouted. Draco continued to ignore her. He kept slamming his foot into the boy with absolutely no remorse. But to his dismay, his rampage was stopped by Y/N grabbing his arm and yanking him backward. He flailed for balance as he stumbled back. “Draco, that’s enough,” Y/N stated firmly before she quickly cast the counter-curse, effectively freeing the boy. He jumped to his feet, shooting daggers at the two of them. “Just go, Jack,” Y/N mumbled. The boy hesitated, but an angry look from Draco ultimately sent him on his way. 

When Jack was out of sight,  Y/N let go of Draco. “What the fuck was that? You could’ve seriously hurt them!” she yelled. Draco gaped at her, absolutely shocked. “They were hurting you! I was only giving them what they deserved, those arseholes. How dare they call you such things; who do they think they are?” he grumbled. 

Y/N sighed softly and rubbed her fingers against her temple. “By doing all that rubbish, you only proved that you’re no better than them. You should’ve just let me handle it,” Y/N retorted, trying to get her friend to understand. But Draco was not having it. “Y/N, you were lying on the floor getting kicked. I had to do something. I couldn’t just watch you get harassed—”

“Well, you know what, Draco? Not too long ago, you were the one harassing me, or did you forget?” Y/N screamed, her eyes welling up with tears. 

Draco paused. He didn’t know what to say; she was right. He only watched as Y/N rubbed her eyes and mumbled, “Fuck,” while she slid to the floor, her back against the wall. “You always treated me like shit Draco. Always... And besides, they were giving me what I deserved. I cheated on someone, and if that isn’t deserving of kicks and harsh words, then I don’t know what is,” she said sadly, her face in her hands. She couldn’t see that Draco was adamantly shaking his head. “Don’t say that; you didn’t deserve any of that bullshit,” he said through gritted teeth.

Y/N’s head shot upwards, and her fists clenched. “That’s rich coming from you. Since when did you become my protector, huh? You hated my guts a month ago, did you not? Why the fuck do you even care, Draco?” she shouted angrily, her eyes boring into Draco’s back since he had turned and begun walking away from her in frustration. But then, suddenly, he spun back around. “Because I like you, okay!? It’s because I like you.” 

A few awkward seconds passed before Draco found the courage to look up from the floor and to Y/N instead. She was staring at him with a look of panic on her face. The dreadful feeling of guilt began to swirl in Draco’s stomach. Nevertheless, he breathed in deeply and started walking over to his friend. She said nothing as he neared her, but when he crouched down beside her, she turned her head away from him. “Y/N...” he started. “I’m sorry if I scared you. I just...I couldn’t stand to see you hurt. I acted on my anger without thinking, and for that, I apologize.” 

Y/N maintained her silence. Draco took a chance and hesitantly put his hand on top of her knee. When she didn’t push him away, he continued to speak. “Y/N, I really like you, and I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I know that sounds cheesy and probably a bit unbelievable, but I promise you it’s true,” he said while stroking her knee through her corduroy pants. She still didn’t meet his eyes, but Draco was in too deep, and he didn’t know if he’d get another chance to say this. So he inhaled sharply and spoke his thoughts into existence. 

“I think I want to be with you, Y/N.”

For what felt like hours, neither teenager said a word. Draco’s heart was pounding nervously in his chest. He felt like he might cry if she didn’t reply. But then, she turned her head. By the look on her face, Draco knew whatever she had to say wouldn’t be good. Y/N glanced at his eyes momentarily but couldn’t keep the contact. “What is it?” Draco asked gently, trying not to upset her but also wanting her to break her silence. Y/N breathed in deeply and scooted her feet forward, causing her legs to straighten and Draco’s hand to leave her knee. He pulled it close to him, feeling as though he’d been punched. 

“Draco, I..." she started. “I can't. I’m not ready for a relationship, not after Harry. I’m sorry.”

Draco felt his hands begin to shake. This couldn't be happening. “Y/N, please, I promise I—”

“No, no, I can’t do this, Draco. Not right now,” Y/N said firmly as she got to her feet. Draco stammered to find the words that would convince her to stay, but she was already breaking into a run. All he could do was watch as her figure grew smaller and smaller as she traveled down the corridor. Draco considered chasing after the girl he wanted so desperately, but he knew he had to let her go. He closed his eyes, regretting his decisions. When his eyelids reopened, she was gone.

Taglist: @beiahadid @pastelpuffbar @cutie1365 @dracoxmgg @lumlfy @sambucky8 @emilianamason @orangecrayon​ @obsssedwithjustaboutanything​ @hustlinhufflepuff​ @goddessofgames @dracocanslytherin8​ @superbturtlemakerathlete​

[hecallsmehischild]

Recent Media Consumed

Books

The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien. About ten or fifteen years ago, I tried to read this and was totally overwhelmed by it. I kept it around, hoping maybe someday I might be able to read it. I finally have, and here are my impressions: WHY SO MANY NAMES. WHY YOU HAVE TO NAME EVERYBODY, AND EVERY TRIBE OF PEOPLES, AND EVERY INANIMATE OBJECT, AND EVERY LANDSCAPE FEATURE. WHY. *ahem* So. I have a general comprehension of the events of The Silmarillion, but I dealt with it by doing what you do for an impressionist painting. I (mentally) stepped way back and let all the names flow by me, and if there were names that were repeated a lot, then I mentally attached appropriate plot points and character details to those names so I could track with who they were and what they were doing. And, actually, I found myself able to hang on and enjoy the book for the most part. This is going to lead into a re-reading of the Lord of the Rings books, since I haven’t read those in about as long…

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. I haven’t read some of these books since pre-teen years, with one required re-read of The Two Towers in high school (i.e. it’s been many an age since I’ve read these and my memory of the stories has been far more heavily influenced by the movies). In re-reading the first book, I was struck by the extreme tone shift for the Elves and Dwarves. Elves seem much closer to happy, mischievous fairies than these ethereal, solemn pillars of elegance and grace the movies show them to be. And Dwarves are far more bumbling and craftsmanlike than the movies show. Aside from that, The Hobbit was a pretty solid adaptation from the book, and the book also reminded me that this story was the first time I experienced “NO, MAIN CHARACTERS DON’T DIE, HOW DARE YOU,” and probably was the first book to make me cry. I must have been 8 or 10 years old. I FORGOT HOW MUCH THIS STORY INFLUENCED ME.

A Conflict of Visions by Thomas Sowell. I have a longer-than-usual list of things to say about this book. First is that it was just that level of difficult that I was struggling to understand while reading it (on Audible), but I think I got it. Sowell has several base concepts that I see repeated throughout his books, though he does like to dedicate whole books to specific aspects of the same topic. He is pretty damn thorough that way. So, for example, I would put this book in the middle of a three-book spectrum of similar concepts: Intellectuals and Society (most concrete and easiest to read), A Conflict of Visions (next-level abstraction, a little difficult to read), Knowledge and Decisions (root abstract concept, very difficult, I have not been able to get past chapter 2). The second thing I have to say is about a couple interesting concepts it proposes. Its whole point is to help readers understand the roots of two ways of seeing the world that come into severe conflict politically, and he calls them by their root titles: the constrained and the unconstrained visions. He traces the path of each back through the intellectuals that most spoke of them (tending to contrast Adam Smith with William Godwin and Condorcet). Though he leans heavily toward the constrained vision (based on reading his other works) he does his best to make this book an academic study of both, with both of the visions' strengths and flaws and reasoning and internal consistencies fairly laid out. In doing so, he helped me understand a few things that make this situation really difficult for people on opposing sides to communicate. One of them is that root words and concepts literally mean different things to different people. I had some vague notion of this before, but he laid out three examples in detail: Equality, Power, and Justice. It was kind of astounding to see just how differently these three words can be defined. It makes me think that arguing about any specific issues rooted in these concepts is fruitless until first an understanding has been reached on terms, because otherwise two parties are endlessly talking past each other. Another really interesting idea he brought up is the existence of “hybrid visions” and he named both Marxism and Fascism as hybrid visions. This was especially fascinating to me because I have seen the accusation of “Nazi” flung around ad nauseam and I wondered how it was that both sides were able to fling it at each other so readily. Well, it’s because Fascism is actually a hybrid vision, so both sides have a grain of truth but miss the whole on that particular point. In any case, this was a little difficult to read but had some fascinating information. For people who are wondering what on earth this gap is between political visions, how on earth to bridge the gap, or why the gap even exists in the first place, this is a really informative piece.

Movies

The Hobbit & Fellowship trilogies (movies). I mean, it’s definitely not my first watch, not even my second. But I went through it with Sergey this time and that means the run-time is double because we pause to talk and discuss details. This watch came about partly due to Sergey’s contention that Gandalf’s reputation far outstrips his actual powers, so we ended up noting down every instance of Gandalf’s power to see if that was true. Conclusion: Gandalf is actually a decently powerful wizard, but tends to use the truly kickass powers in less-than-dire circumstances. That aside, this movie series was always a favorite for me. I rated The Hobbit trilogy lower the first time I saw it but, frankly, all together the six movies are fantastic and a great way to sink deep into lore-heavy fantasy for a while. And I’m catching way more easter-egg type details after having read the Silmarillion so it’s even more enjoyable. (finally, after about a week of binge-watching) I forgot how much this story impacted me. I forgot how wrenchingly bittersweet the ending is. I forgot how much of a mark that reading and watching this story left on my writing.

Upside-Down Magic. Effects were good. Actors were clearly having fun and enjoying everything. Story didn’t make enough sense for my taste, but it was a decent way to kill flight time.

Wish Dragon. So, yes, it’s basically an Aladdin rewrite, but it’s genuinely a cheesy good fluff fest that made me grin a whole lot.

Plays

Esther (Sight and Sound Theatres). < background info > This is my third time to this theatre. There are only two of these in existence and they only run productions of stories out of the Bible. The first time I went I saw a production of Noah, the second time I saw a production of Jesus. My middle sister has moved all the way out to Lancaster, PA in hopes of working at this theatre. My husband and I came out to visit her. < /background info > So. Esther. They really pulled out all the stops on the costumes and set. I mean, REALLY pulled out all the stops. And the three-quarters wrap-around stage is used to great effect. I tend to have a general problem of not understanding all the words in the songs, but I understood enough. I highly recommend sitting close to the front for immersive experiences. This theatre puts on incredible productions and if you ever, ever, EVER have the opportunity to go, take it. Even if you think it's nothing but a bunch of fairy tales, STILL GO. I doubt you'll ever see a fairy tale produced on another stage with equal dedication to immersion.

Shows

The Mandalorian (first two seasons). Well. This was pretty thoroughly enjoyable. It felt very Star-Wars, and I’d kind of given up after recent movies. Felt like it slipped into some preaching toward the end? Not sure, I could be overly sensitive about it, but I enjoyed this a lot (though I did need to turn to my housemate and ask where the flip in the timeline we were because I did NOT realize that the little green kid IS NOT ACTUALLY Yoda).

Games

Portal & Portal 2. Portal is probably the first video game I ever tried to play, back when I had no idea what I was doing. Back then, I attempted to play it on my not-for-gaming Mac laptop. Using my trackpad. Once the jumping-for-extra-velocity mechanic came into play, I just about lost my mind trying to do this with a trackpad and gave up. Later I returned to the game and played it with my then-boyfriend on a proper gaming computer. Now, after having played several games and gotten better at "reading the language" of video games, I decided I wanted to see if I could beat the Portal games by myself. Guess what. I BEAT 'EM. Yes, I remembered most of the puzzles in Portal so that's a little bit of a cheat, but I'd say a good 2/3 of Portal 2 was new puzzles to me. It is crazy how proud I feel of myself that I could beat Portal 2, especially. Learning how to play video games at this age has really knocked down the lie, "You can't learn anything." Though I still suck at platformers and games that require precision. Since I find those types frustrating, I probably won't be playing many. Games are about enjoyment, so I'll push myself a little, but not to the point where I can't stand what I'm playing.

The Observer. I like the concept and the art but I don't think I could keep trying to play this game. It's really depressing. My in-game family members all died of illness or accident or committed suicide. I also kept getting executed by the state. In order to keep us all alive I'd have to do pretty terrible things that I have a hard enough time contemplating even in a fictional setting.

Baba Is You. Fun and interesting concept, but I got stuck pretty early on. Don't think I want to push as hard on this one.

[silly-nonny-fics-are-for-fandoms]

Amare Dilictio

Note: This is a gift for @angiezstuff! I wanted to say thank you so very much for always making me laugh with your cute art and comics! I actually started writing one fic, but you posted new things which made me want to write more, and so I have three, including this one! Thank you so, so, so much.

Gift 1/3, this one is Jayphen. 

Summary: Jay loved Stephen more than life itself. He's loved him for years, and he'd gladly protect him from anything. Maybe he was being overprotective, maybe he was insane, but he did not care. He would be there for him. Because the people who glared at them as they walked, perceived them as delinquents, well. They didn't know about the softness behind the frightening edges.  

Read on Ao3 or keep on reading here! 

Jay loved his boyfriend more than life itself. Stephen was absolutely wonderful, a ball of chaotic sarcastic energy that never failed to make him laugh, even if he didn't quite understand his actions. So, of course, whenever Stephen was upset, Jay took it upon himself to make sure the problem was taken care of. The purple-haired man was more of an emotional reaction than Jay, a supernova while he was a black hole. Nothing he could do could compare, that was something he was sure of.

They argued a lot, like any couple. Sometimes it was about silly things, and to the untrained eye, one may think that Stephen took the reins in all aspects of their relationship. While that would likely make Stephen very happy, it simply wasn't true. Jay planned date nights, he did all the cooking between the two of them for the safety of the neighborhood, and he was the one who kept him in line in public. There was a very special corner which he often had to remind Stephen that he belonged in, to the dismay of one of their housemates. 

Hosuh didn't mind so much, but Gavin was a whole other story. Living with one's brother, his boyfriend, and their own boyfriend was a situation that made many people's heads spin in contemplation. Of course, he loved Hosuh, but hearing Jay and Stephen argue about who would be in the bottom corner was something Gavin did not want to listen to on most days.

So they made a chart, no arguments necessary. Day by day, their behaviors were ticked off in a few different boxes, which would decide for them. It saved Gavin's sanity. 

And that made Stephen happy, though he often teased his little brother about it, which made Jay happy. As long as Stephen was kept happy, that was good. No one had to die. There was one rule when it came to that aspect, punishing those who made Stephen cry or upset, and that rule was very simple. Don't touch family or Hosuh. Everyone else was fair game. 

Today, Jay was sure that Stephen was intent on driving him insane. He'd grabbed one of Jay's green hoodies and wore it with tight black ripped jeans, his hair messier than normal. 

"You're so cute," Jay said with a smirk, quickly leaning over and kissing his boyfriend's cheek. Stephen took a step back, hands in the air, and an offended look on his face.

"Woah, woah, woah! I am not cute, Jay!" 

"I mean, have you looked in a mirror?"

"Stephen doesn't need a mirror to know what he looks like."

Jay knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere arguing with him like this. There was absolutely no point to it. So he grabbed his orange marker, heading over to the chart on the fridge, and was about to put a tick mark on one of Stephen's boxes when his hand was grabbed by his partner.

"Oh no, you don't, Jay. Not today." Before Jay could react, Stephen had put a tick mark in the purple marker on the box in Jay's row. "I'm not bottoming today!"

"What? What did I do to get that?" Jay exclaimed, confusion crossing his face, "You're the one acting like a sub!"

"How is he acting like a sandwich?" Hosuh's voice came, still half asleep as he walked into the kitchen. The two of them laughed at him for a short moment, sighing afterward. 

"Oh my god, Hosuh. Go back to bed, or go get Gavin up."

"Gavin's already gone, he has a morning run," Hosuh mumbled, turning on the kettle to make some tea for himself and Stephen, and coffee for Jay. 

"Wait," Stephen said, eyes wide, "That means I can make as many dick jokes as I want! Fuck yeah!" 

"For the next twenty minutes, yeah."

"You're so fucked, asshole."

"That's kind of the point of the chart, baby."

"Don't call me baby! I am not baby! Gavin is a baby!"

"Then what do you want me to call you?"

"My name! Stephen!" 

"Can you not argue until after I get my tea?" Hosuh asked, staring at the couple. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence, "Or just go into the living room?"

"Shut up Hosuh! Don't tell me what to do!"

Stephen grabbed Jay by the front of his shirt, pulling him in close for a kiss. That was his normal way to end an argument, they all knew. Because Jay couldn't be mad at him when they were kissing, showing just how much he loved the man in his arms. But, the problem with such an act, was the fact that Stephen got embarrassed very, very easily. 

They broke the kiss and Stephen's face was bright red. 

"You're so annoying, Jesus Christ." 

"No, you're the annoying one." Jay rolled his eyes, grabbing cups from the cabinet along with his coffee grinds, while Hosuh grabbed the tea, "That's why we're dating, obviously."

"I am not annoying! I am amazing, and you are lucky to date me!"

"Hell yeah, I am." 

Breakfast went by faster than they expected, and the next thing they knew they had to go to school. Jay didn't get a break throughout his entire day until classes ended, while Stephen had an hour free around two before getting to go home. Jay worried about his boyfriend all the time, even though he trusted that he was going to be okay. Stephen could protect himself. He could fight. They both could.

But he wanted to protect him. He wanted to protect him so strongly that it drove him crazy. Sure, Stephen could be a pain, pretending to be upset and then blaming someone else to get him riled up, but it was all in good fun. No one ever died. 

No one ever got too badly injured, to the knowledge of the public. 

Stephen loved Jay. He knew that it was weird to most people, to love someone with such violent tendencies as his partner. They thought he was trapped in his relationship, instead of flourishing in it as was actually true. It wasn't uncommon to hear people he didn't even know mumbling about him behind his back.

But they didn't know Jay as he did. They had never seen him get giddy over video games, watching him design houses on the sims, and they'd definitely never seen how happy he got when Stephen ran his fingers through his hair, laying in bed as they read before falling asleep. None of them knew that Jay got up early so that he could be the one to wake up Stephen with kisses, or that he liked to rub his thumb over the back of his hand when they held hands. 

They just thought he was creepy. How he never opened his eyes unless necessary, and when he did they were such drastically different colors. But he saw the autumn leaves in his eyes, the sunset's shades bleeding into beauty.

Today, it was too much. 

His normal teacher for the last class of the day had been in the hospital for the past month, and her replacement absolutely detested him. She always had to explain things to him slower, embarrassing him in front of the entire class, whenever he had a question. Even if it was something simple, asking for clarification, or just explaining to her why she was wrong. They'd had tests last week and today, they were getting their grades.

A big red F stared him in the face, even though he knew he got at least ninety percent of the questions right. He looked over at the person who always sat next to him, one of the people he'd studied with, did mock tests with, and knew had the same answers as he did.

A plus. One hundred percent. 

Rage boiled in him, glaring at the smirking woman at the head of the class. He knew what she was doing. The head of the department was out for the next week, something he knew because of his outstanding grades made one of his teachers suspicious, so he'd been sent to see them to talk about it. He'd been cleared of any cheating suspicions, but he'd been warned not to cause any trouble until next Monday when he could deal with it.

She'd failed him when he had no out. 

He looked through his answers on the three-page test, but as the paper shifted,  he saw a note fall from between the sheets. 

We can discuss your grade after class, Mr. Ng.

He didn't need to meet with her to know what the reason behind this was, even though he still did. Of course, he was correct. She failed him because of his hair, his attitude, and on her first day there he'd found it prudent to call her out for an incorrect explanation only to be picked up by his boyfriend after class. Now, he knew that Jay had a reputation on campus for being weird even amongst odd people. 

All invalid reasons. All grounds for getting her fired. Except he couldn't go to the head of the department, because of a stupid vacation.

Hosuh and Gavin had a date that night, so when he got home, he was alone. All alone. Normally, the thought of how stupid his grade had been would make him mad, make him want to punch something, but he found himself breathing hastily, tears streaming down his face as he openly cried. 

He didn't expect Jay to get home early, walking into the living room of their flat only to see his boyfriend crying into his hands silently.

"Stephen?" He said softly, "Stephen, what happened?" He asked, rushing over to him and immediately pulling him into a tight embrace, "Who do I need to kill?"

"It's nothing," Stephen whispered, "It's stupid."

"No, it's not. You're crying. Let me help you, I love you too much to see you in so much pain."

Stephen broke. He couldn't stop crying as he explained what happened, dumping all his emotions as fast as he could even if the sentences didn't make sense. He didn't notice Jay texting Hosuh and Gavin, telling them to stay out as long as possible to keep them from seeing Stephen in such a weak state. That was something reserved for him and only him. Jay picked up Stephen as the other dried his tears, not even wobbling as he brought him up the stairs to their room. They had a two-floor, two-bedroom flat, so each couple shared a bedroom to save on space. Stephen was set down on the bed, Jay pausing for a second after putting him down.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He said, quickly leaving the room and heading over to Gavin and Hosuh's room. He knew that Hosuh had a weighted blanket for his anxiety, used to help him after a panic attack and as a form of therapy, and he would return it after calming down Stephen. Jay desperately wanted to find where that substitute teacher lived and bury her alive, but he had a boyfriend who was infinitely more important, and his sanity was more important.

The blanket was neatly folded in the corner, the soft bunny covered fabric showing on top. He knew there was a pale blue silk satin with clouds on the underside, for some form of texture reason. Not exactly Stephen's ideal, but Jay assumed it would have to do for now. He picked it up, the weight of it a bit more awkward than an actual person. He carried it back to their bedroom, seeing Stephen having curled up in the fetal position near the center of the bed. When he saw the blanket, he sniffled and chuckled softly.

"Is that Hosuh's blanket?" 

"Yeah. I don't think he'll mind, and if he does, oh well." Jay shrugged, unfolding the blanket and placing it atop his boyfriend. Only then did he climb in bed with him, kissing his cheeks. 

"I love you." Stephen whispered, "You know I'll kill you if you tell anyone about this, right?"

"Ha ha, I know. I love you too. Now go to sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do," Stephen grumbled, refusing to follow the order. Instead, he reached over and took Jay's hand in his own, staring up at the ceiling now. As crappy as the world outside was, as dark as it could be, they created their own twisted light to keep the rest of the world safe from the 'monsters' like themselves. Well, if they were monsters, they were the best kind. 

[adzuki-caramel]

GTK (Get to Know) Tag!

Tagged by @twinklemassu thank you tick tick wink weird noise

The Last

Drink: Lemsip Max 

Phone Call: Mother

Text message: The landlady

Song you listened to:  A Hong Kong busker

Time you cried: Two days ago

- Have You Ever

Dated someone twice: What’s dating

Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes because she then told her boyfriend (dramaaaa the only drama in my life tbh. But I was young and dumb so...)

Been cheated on: I hope not

Lost someone special:  Yes

Been depressed: Yes

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Not yet and hopefully never

- 3 Favorite Color

green

blue

beige

- In The Last Year Have You

Made new friend: Many! Thank you!

laughed until you cried: Lots

Found someone was talking about you: Yes

Met someone who changed you: Yes <3

Found out who your friends are: Yes >:l

Kissed someone on your Facebook list: What’s facebook

- How many Facebook friends do you know: ^^^

- Do you have any pets: Ash, Ash Jnr and Ash Jnr Jnr (avocado plants that I grew from seeds with my housemate)

- Do you want to change your name: Sometimes, because I feel like I get discriminated against when I look for jobs...

- What did you do for your last birthday: I think I was sick!

- What were you doing at midnight last night: Getting out of bed and stumbling to the loo

- Name something you can’t wait for: To meet my darling! -poses with flowers-

- When was the last time you saw your mom: last month

- What were you listening to right now: people talking next door at church

- Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I met a Tom last weekend. He was very nice. He said he ate too much dip.

- Something that is getting on your nerves: This stupid cold!!

- Most visited websites: tumblr, instagram, lofter, a03

- Hair color: brown with moss green ends

- Long or short hair: short

- Do you have a crush on someone: more than a crush!

- What do you like about yourself: I have unique hobbies (mustache men getting dommed) and pretty good core strength and flexibility. I can also make bread.

- Blood Type: AB+

- Nickname: kwun

- Relationship Status: blushu

- Zodiac: Virgo

- Pronouns: She/Her

- Favorite TV show: mythbusters

- Tattoos: would like one

- Right or Left Handed: Right

- Surgery: none

- Sports: I used to do archery for a bit

- Pair of shoes: right now I have 5 with me.

- Eating: I had burgers for lunch

- Drinking: water!

- Waiting:  to get inspired to do work on my pee hatch dee

- Get married: sure!

- Career:???????????????????????????????? Armchair philosophizing ???????????????????? ?????????

- Which Is Better

Hugs or Kisses: give me all of themmmm

Lips or Eyes:  Both!

Shorter or Taller: If there is love... height is irrelevant... *raises eyebrows repeatedly

Older or Younger: ^^^ but not too young or illegal

Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: doesn’t matter

Hook Up or Relationship: a relationship

Troublemaker or Hesitant: Troublemaker, as in hiding the cookie jar... ok???

- Kissed a Stranger: Nope

- Drank hard liquor: yes

- Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lost my glasses in the sea once

- Turned someone down: HAHAHA LIKE SOMEONE WILL EVER APPROACH ME

- Sex on the first date: EVEN MORE UNLIKELY

- Broken someone’s heart: I could have. I’m sorry...

- Had your heart broken: Yes.

- Being arrested: No!

- Fallen for a friend: Yes... awkward nose farts

- Cried when someone died: Yes

- Do You Believe In

Yourself: sometimes

Miracles: Yep

Santa Claus: Nope

Kiss on the first date: okies

I tag @yuutolovesturtles @gorou-chan @zhxngxyi @kittykat8633 @n3murihim3

[bellarkefanfiction]

Thanks to everyone who submitted nominations for this month’s Fake Relationship Fic Spotlight! Since nominations were spread evenly, we’re opening up voting for you, our followers, to vote for your favorite fic that falls within this months theme!

Voting: Opens now (October 5th, 18:30 EST) and will close October 6th at 18:30 EST!

Rules:

You may self-vote.

You can only vote once (per person not url).

if we suspect any cheating i.e. votes from an account that looks suspicious, or bribery i.e. asking your followers to vote for a specific fic of yours in exchange for something, we reserve the right to pull those votes.

Winner: will receive a spot in our sidebar until the next spotlight, a winners gif/banner, and their fic will be reviewed by a member of our Features Team

For a full list of all the nominees and a link to the voting form, click below.

I dreamed you a sin (and a lie)

“If I do this,” Blake said, “how are you imagining it’s going to work? I can’t just knock on his door, and say I want in again. It’s been eleven years. And even before I left, I never cared about the business. Do you have a plan? You say you want me to open the door for an agent. How? What’s that mean?”

“You’re going to get in touch with your grandfather again at your wedding,” Clarke said.

He stared.

“I hope you don’t have a girlfriend, Mr. Blake.”

fake!married AU. Clarke's in the FBI, Bellamy's the grandson of a mobster, and they've got to work together.

The Buddy System

Clarke is wary of even asking Monty to be her fake boyfriend for the weekend. Hiring Monty's boyfriend's roommate for the job is a stretch, but at least he seems cool. (And easy on the eyes as a bonus.)

The Carriage House

Bellamy and Clarke are co-teachers. They are GREAT partners. But they are both about to be homeless. So when they get the chance to rent an amazing apartment-- a carriage house with a courtyard garden in a great neighborhood--at an unbeatable price. They have to take it.

Even if it comes with an over involved weirdly religious land lady who wants a married couple as tenants. They're great partners. They can pretend to be married a little. How hard could it be?

Well, I'll Be Your Partner In Crime

“Are you telling me you deprived me of my makeover montage?” He cuts in, clearly amused. “Clarke, come on. It’s practically a requirement for all the nineties movies.”

She wrinkles her nose at him, exasperated. “You can’t seriously be comparing this to a nineties movie.”

“Why not? We’re pretending to date,” he points out, ticking off his fingers. “You’re popular while I’m not. Oh, and we’re also complete opposites when it comes to everything else. Honestly, we just need a makeover scene to round things out. Give it color.”

Or: Apparently, the first step to restoring Clarke Griffin’s celebrity status is to date someone completely outside her stratosphere. Namely, Bellamy Blake. She’s not entirely convinced that it’s a good idea.

Into Eden

Clarke Griffin needs to get OFF of Polis Station, and when she gets the opportunity to buy into a claim on Eden Colony, she takes it. The only problem is they only accept families and married couples as colonists, so to be accepted by the colonist's agreement, she has to buy a mail order husband. She's got the credits, so she does.

She doesn't meet Bellamy Blake until five minutes before the space ship is set to take off, but as soon as she meets him, she realizes this is not at all going to be the business arrangement she expected it to be.

Gray

Bellamy felt like his life was falling apart. Lincoln was dead. His relationship with Octavia looked irreparable. Sensing Bellamy's pain, Clarke tries her best to comfort him. They had grown apart in the three months that she was gone, but they always managed to find their way back to each other. True love knew no bounds.

Set mostly during 3x13.

[He had grown up with gray all around him. Gray walls. Gray people. Gray life. The Ark was nothing spectacular. But she was.]

OR; Where Bellamy finally decides to admit his feelings for Clarke.

Double Infinity

They were running out of time. Eighteen years had already passed. All the pieces they needed to get the job done were finally in place. And, when Wells didn’t fit, they found Clarke. He was too close to let it all fall apart now.

And he would do everything he could to make sure she walked out of this unscathed.

Modern AU inspired by Revenge, where Bellamy and Octavia are willing to do whatever it takes to find justice for their mother's murder, even if it means using Clarke Griffin.

Time Enough for Rocking When We're Old

boston > boston/camb/brook > housing > apts by owner

$2-300 Roxbury small room in 3-br 1-bath house, spouse preferred (Roxbury)

Pair of siblings looking for housemate. Due to extenuating circumstances I will share with interested parties, I would prefer a roommate who is willing to get married for legitimate personal reasons that do not include sex or anything sketchy. If not interested in marriage, room still available for $300/month plus utilities. Pets okay, no smokers, NO DRUG USE.

Please don't just email me to tell me this is fucked up, I know it is, you really don't have to tell me.

If you are interested in the marriage part, a female spouse is preferred, but male would be okay too. I promise I will explain this if you really want details, but I'm not putting it online.

Serious inquiries only.

Fake Dating Blake

Clarke settled that, by the end of tomorrow, she would have a fake boyfriend to take home for Christmas. Even if it was Bellamy Blake.

VOTE HERE

[sunshinesanggyun]

~Many Questions Tag~

Thank you @asexualkimhansol & @jadeontumb1r for the tag!!!

rules: answer these 85 statements

THE LAST

1. drink: Coffee 2. phone call: My darling 3. text message: From my group chat with my housemates, talking about when financial aid will come through ‘cause we’re all broke~ 4. song you listened to: Mic Drop - BTS 5. time you cried: Today because BTS and JBJ were making me emotional 6. dated someone twice: Technically me and my current boyfriend 7. kissed someone and regretted it: A few years ago with an ex 8. been cheated on: I don’t think I’ve ever been cheated on 9. lost someone special: Last year me and my bestie were going through a rough patch and stopped talking, but we’re good now 10. been depressed: Lol honestly when am I not? 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: About 5 weeks ago 

3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. Yellow 13. Plum 14. Burgundy

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: I have~ 16. fallen out of love: Nope!  17. laughed until you cried: All the time 18. found out someone was talking about you: Kinda? 19. met someone who changed you: I would say yeah 20. found out who your friends are: Yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Mhmm

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Most? I don’t even go on there anymore. 23. do you have any pets: Two cats and three dogs 24. do you want to change your name: I want to marry my BF already and change my last name to Amador because I’m tired of being associated with my last name 25. what did you do for your last birthday: The day of I was in school and my friends surprised me with a cake and we all got dinner together. The weekend before I came home and had a birthday party and got wasted, 26. what time did you wake up: Mmm, like 9:30? 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. I was exhausted after a long day and only a few hours of sleep due to the BTS comeback. 28. name something you can’t wait for: Saturday. MY COLLEGE BESTIE FINALLY COMES BACK FROM KOREA!!!! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Like 30 minutes ago 31. what are you listening to right now: Outro: Her - BTS 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Probably? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: The fact that my bank account is at $24.70 and I need 30 more cents to make sure my account isn’t over drafted tomorrow when money is automatically transferred to my savings but my finaid hasn’t been deposited.  34. most visited website: I’d say tumblr, twitter, and youtube are all even 35. hair color: dirty blonde/light brown, but I’m dying it tomorrow I think 36. long or short hair: very long lol 37. do you have a crush on someone: Nah, I’m hopelessly in love 38. what do you like about yourself: My hands and my hair 40. blood type: Lol I dunno, it’s so bad 41. nickname: Bella, bellz, ballz (that’s my bestie for ya), Gaby (only by my sister), Bellac (pronounced bell-ack, once again, that’s my bestie for ya) 42. relationship status: Taken 43. zodiac: Libra 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favorite tv show: Mr. Robot or Steven Universe 46. tattoos: 5 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: None 50. sport: I played softball at one point but not anymore 51. vacation: I’ve already been to Hawaii multiple times, the only place in my mind right now is Korea. 52. pair of trainers: ...wat...

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Last thing I ate were gummy worms (I’m such a child, I love candy) 54. drinking: Water 55. I’m about to: Either finish this drawing or watch some BTS videos 56. waiting for: My boyfriend to get home from class and cuddle with me 57. want: MY MOTHER FUCKING FINANCIAL AID WTF I KINDA NEED THAT  58. get married: Hopefully in 4 years, after the two of us are done with school 59. career: Wildlife conservationist

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs because kisses are reserved for one person but I can enjoy hugging everyone 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: For sexual attraction I like taller people. When it comes to friends though I like how short my best friends are because hugging their heads is so precious and warms my heart. Lmao, I’m fucking weird. 63. older or younger: I dunno? I have both younger and older friends. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: A little bit of both but I’m more hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: Depends on how you define stranger. I’ve kissed someone I met at a party and barely even knew for more than an hour. 68. drank hard liquor: Yes! 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear them 70. turned someone down: Yeah 71. sex on the first date: Nope 72. broken someone’s heart: He acted like I did but I think he was just playing me 73. had your heart broken: Fuck yeah 74. been arrested: Nope 75. cried when someone died: Yeah 76. fallen for a friend: I try to only date people who were my friends because the relationship is always better, so yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: I’m working on it 78. miracles: Not really 79. love at first sight: Fuck no 80. santa claus: Lol no, I was that bitch in 1st grade who ruined it for the other kids 81. kiss on the first date: Yeah 82. angels: I’d like to, but no

OTHER

84. eye color: Brown 85. favorite movie: I don’t have an all time favorite. I really like the aristocats, lady and the tramp, wall-e, most marvel movies, chappie, and a lot more that I can’t think of right now

I’ll tag @hansoleffect @kpopfanstan @jih0joon & @christinelucka but like always I didn’t check if you’ve already done it & you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!

[promise-san]

Get to know me tag!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

Tagged by: @wonhosthiccthighs​, @floofta-x​, @monstafeels​ !!

I tag: @limechangkyun, @taestyhoe, @kihyunslips, @hyukbinnie, @ykhyun, @sweetjooheonie, @minyuki, @ohyoongies, @toastery-daze, @wonhosgf, @kihyunically, @monbeboo, @princesswonho, @nottechae, @pink-kyun, @hyungwonnies, @kihyunswife, @wonholyangel, @chorapper, @hyungwnie (as if I managed to tag 20) Feel free to do or not do this!! <3

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: My boyfriend 3. Text message: My housemate 4. Song you listened to: Shine Forever 5. Time you cried: When I hurt my knee the other day lol

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Yeah lol 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: No?? 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: No? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope XD

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Green, Purple, Pastels

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes :D 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: Yeah :) 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Nope 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them I think 23. Do you have any pets: We have a family dog :) 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went out for a meal I think 26. What time did you wake up: 9:40 am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Playing a game  28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduation :D                       29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Half an hour ago ish 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I could travel to new places more 31. What are you listening right now: Incomparable 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yup don’t like him LOL 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Needing to get things done but having to wait for various reasons; like I want to move into my new flat but I have to wait -.- 34. Most Visited Website: Youtube!

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: A couple on both my arms, one on my leg, one on my neck? 36. Mark/s: I have scars on my finger and my neck lol 37. Childhood dream: I think I wanted to be a footballer haha 38. Hair color: Blonde, sometimes dark blonde 39. Long or short hair: Long hair 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes :’) 41. What do you like about yourself: I can be very affectionate?  42. Piercings: None 43. Bloodtype: Dunno 44. Nickname: Nat 45. Relationship status: In a relationship 46. Zodiac: Cancer 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Terrace House, Teen Wolf, Game of Thrones 49. Tattoos: None (I want to get one on my birthday tho) 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: Just to have some teeth removed 52. Hair dyed in different color: Only dip dyed  53. Sport: Football 55. Vacation: Japan!! 56. Pair of trainers: Like 2?

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Nothing atm 58. Drinking: Water 59. I’m about to: Sleep 61. Waiting for: Final year results 62. Want: To travel freely 63. Get married:  I’d like to but dunno what’s gonna happen 64. Career: Environmental mapping

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Aaaaah both? Hugs if cuddles count 66. Lips or Eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Taller 68. Older or Younger: Older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Both?? 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive          72. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker I guess

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: No  75. Drank hard liquor: Yes haha 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex on the first date: Nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: Probably 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Not often 85. Miracles: Sometimes 86. Love at first sight: yes why not :) 87. Santa Claus: No 88. Kiss on the first date: Nah 89. Angels: I’d like to think so

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: I have 3 lol 91. Eyecolor: Blue 92. Favorite movie: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

[snippetsofmyheart]

Marriage.

Medyo nadala lang ako ng trending ngayon. You know, Jelai-Jon-Toni issue.

Long story ito kasi matagal ko na rin gusto i-blog ito ever since nadadamay ako sa gulo nung ex ko. 😂

Mariage it’s not something you can decide overnight. You’re not getting married just because you just “love” each other. You’re getting married because both of you are emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically and financially ready.

Four years ago, I caught my ex boyfriend cheating again. Yes, again. Pang apat na babae niya within our almost 6 years of relationship. Tanga/bobo diba. So many chances. Going back. In my unusual self, I just sent him some evidences I got, calmly. Bakit kalmado? I’m done with his shit. Kasi putcha, in-add ako ni girl sa FB and IG. Nakita ko yung mga post niyang photos nila together at parinig niya sa akin. At first, I thought she was just being friendly cause I know that girl was the bestfriend of my ex’s housemate. Habang magka facetime kami, andun si girl sa bahay kasi “bestfriend” siya. Siguro pag baba ng videocall namin, f*ck buddy na sila. Charaught. Assumptions ko pero di pa napatunayan. 😂 She even told me na di niya alam na kami pa kasi sinasabi daw ni guy wala na kami kaya pala di na niya kami nakikitang naguusap. Busy lang ako nun sa training ko FYI 😂.

So after that “incident”, my ex somehow proposed to me. He even cried, etc etc. Muntik na akong maniwala and bumigay. Sabi ko sa kaniya, magpaalam ka muna sa family ko. Kinausap niya lahat. But then, my sister said “Hindi sagot ang kasal para magbago siya” and my Dad said “Wag muna anak. Nagsisimula ka pa lang sa career mo”. Buti na lang nakinig ako. You see, paano ka maniniwala sa kaniya na sincere siya kung may isa siyang FB na dun siya nagpopost ng picture nila together? Tangina lang diba.

Reasons why I refused? Not because I’m dating someone else or what but:

1. Nakikita ko yung mga post niya dun sa isang account niya FB. Paano, magaling lang maghanap 😂 Sweet and everything.

2. If he was sincere and loved me, he would stop. I was somehow waiting for him to change. But he didn’t. See number 1.

3. Kahit ipagtabuyan ko siya, I have all the reasons. Kung gusto niya i-work out lahat, hindi na paulit ulit yung ginawa niya.

4. Hindi yung mukhang tanga ako na nagppropose siya then sa isang FB alam ng mga tao dun na sila. So ako ngayon yung parang naging kabit? Funny.

5. Sabi ko, umuwi siya. But he didn’t. Kung gusto niya iwork out, uuwi siya no matter what I say. No matter what I did.

6. Hindi niya tinigil paglalandi dun kay girl. See number 2. May nangyayari pa sa kanila.

7. Nag gf siya agad.

I found out nag continue sila sa relationship. Then me, nag entertain na lang ako. Date date ganun.

I even asked myself, kung ako yung mahal. Hindi ako paulit ulit lolokohin. Minahal ba talaga ako. Inalok ako ng kasal pero may iba pa rin.

By the way, we were LDR. Magkasama sila ni girl. Sila na lang diba wag na ako guluhin. Anong laban ko na dun.

Kung siguro nakita ko lahat ng changes at naramdaman ko, nabigyan ko pa siya ng one last chance but all of it was my turning point. I focused myself sa new work ko. I tried to socialize. He even called my Mom just to convince me to talk to him. But I said no. Para saan pa. For closure?

Pero legit pala talaga yung nagagawang anxiety sa’yo or trauma. Kasi hanggang ngayon, pag nag memessage yung kapatid niya and about sa kaniya yung topic, nagkaka anxiety attack ako agad. Nanginginig ako. Hanggang ngayon, di ko maover come yun. I once asked my mom na dalhin na ako sa doctor. Sabi niya lang tibayan ko loob ko.

So, moving forward. Kasal na si ex ko. But with a different girl. Last night, minessage ako ng kapatid ng ex ko and asked me kung minumura ba ako ng kapatid niya public. She shown me some of her screenshots na message between her and the wife of my ex, tropa kasi sila since HS. And then nakita ko pati sa family ni girl wala nang respect si ex. Sabi ng kaptid niya kay wife na sa kaniya lang naging ganiyan kuya niya. Ganiyan daw kay “d*m*nyo”. Hindi daw ba niya naisaip na baka may mali sa kaniya (pertaining kay wife). Sabi ko, “Babaero kuya mo pero never niya ginanyan family ko”. Like, oo nagmumurahan kami ng ex ko kasi galit ako dahil may nakikita ako. But sasabihan ako ng pokpok, papahiyain ng ganiyan or mumurahin ng ganun public di niya ginawa dahil somehow he was scared of losing me.

There was a time na nakausap ko siya through a game. Since we both have same circle of friends sa mga laro. Mag bf-gf pa lang sila. Kamustahan and everything. Sabi niya na, ako pa din. He even said na ibang iba relationship nila compared to us. While me, sobrang natuto na at di na nagpauto, said na bakit di niya bigyan ng chance si girl. Baka iba naman siya pag magkasama sila. Di pa kasi sila nagkikita personally na magjowa though matagal na silang magkakilala kasi nga tropa siya ng kapatid niya.

Di na kami nagusap after nun. Then one time he messaged me na di na niya matutupad yung sinasabi niyang magkikita kami pag umuwi siya ng pinas kasi nga “He’s getting married na” And I said, “It’s ok. I’m happy for you.” I thought, he will change. Take note, the time na nagpakasal sila was the first time they saw each other as mag jowa.

Nakakarating sa akin yung status ng relationship nilang magulo. Minsan nadadamay pa ako kahit na di naman ako nanggugulo. I dunno, hindi stable yung relationship nila base sa mga kwentong natatanggap ko at nakikita ko.

You see, hindi sagot ang kasal para magbago ang lalaki. Marami akong kilala na nag cheat, nagpakasal at ngayon hiwalay na. As I’ve said, you should be ready bago ka magpakasal. Kilalanin mo yung taong makakasama mo habang buhay. Hindi dahil nahuli ka magaalok ka ng kasal. Hindi dahil nabuntis ka, magpapakasal ka na.

In the end, tama na nakinig ako at nagdesisiyon na itigil ang lahat. Utak na ang gamitin di puro puso.

Moving forward, honest to goodness, I only want the best for him. Kahit wala na kami at may sari sariling buhay, I only wish na maging ok siya. Like what I always told him before, maging mature na siya sa mga decisions niya. Gusto ko nga itanong, bakit ka nagkakaganiyan. Asan na yung kilala kong full of dreams para sa future ng family? Please stop gambling. Please start focusing on your future family. Please fix your relationship with your siblings. In the end, kayo kayo lang matutulungan. Wag na maging pasaway.

Before, I always pray to God na katukin yung heart mo na magbago. Na marealize lahat ng mabuti.

Be a good husband to your wife. Wag mo siyang saktan. Ano pa yung sinumpa niyo kay God. Please, ayusin mo buhay mo para sa future mo at family mo.

You know, I will always be thankful to you no matter what. I loved you unconditionally. Naging parte ka ng buhay ko. Hindi ako magiging ganito at makakapunta sa ganitong career kung di mo ako tinulungan or sinuportahan. I owe it to you.

Thank you for all the lessons.

Thank you for somehow loving me even for the “shortest” time.

Thank you.

[cuddlyboyfriendstyles-blog]

92 TRUTHS

THAAAANKS to @harryssoftsoul for tagging me to reveal 92 truths about me! Read on if you've ever wondered anything about me!! RULES: Once tagged, you have to reveal 92 truths about you and at the end, you have to tag 25 people to do so as well. THE LAST… 1) Drink: Tea 2) Phone call: My Mum 3) Text message: My best friends 4) Song you listened to: Wild Thoughts (DJ Khaled) 5) Time you cried: Watching Wonder Woman Yesterday lol HAVE YOU EVER..: 6) Dated someone twice: No 7) Been cheated on: No 8) Kissed someone and regretted it: No 9) Lost someone special: No which I'm incredibly lucky for 10) Been depressed: Who hasn't 11) Gotten drank and thrown up: Yep LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 12) Green 13) Blue 14) White IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU..: 15) Made new friends: Yes so many amazing ones 16) Fallen out of love: No 17) Laughed until you cried: Yessss 18) Found out someone was talking about you: Yes 19) Met someone who changed you: Yea for the better 20) Found out who your true friends are: You could say so 21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes loool 22) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: all of them! 23) Do you have any pets?: two cats called Parker and Bean 24) Do you want to change your name?: Nope not unless I'm marrying the man I love 25) What did you do for your last birthday?: Went out at uni with all my friends from home and my new friends 26) What time did you wake up?: 11 :// 27) What were you doing at midnight last night?: texting my mates and watching friends with benefits 28) Name something you cannot wait for: A music festival I'm going to in July 29) When was the last time you saw your mother?: 20 minutes ago 30) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: I wish I had a little more money but other than that it's great 31) What are you listening to right now?: Unforgettable - French Montana 32) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Yes! My housemates boyfriend is called Tom 33) Something that is getting on your nerves: The fact I don't have a summer body yet! Lol 34) Most visited website?: Facebook or Spotify 35) Elementary: Yep and I don't remember much of it 36) High School: Had the best time and met amazing friends 37) University: I go to uni in Birmingham in the UK 38) Hair color: Ginger 39) Long or short hair?: Long 40) Do you have a crush on someone?: yes but it's fun 41) What do you like about yourself?: My sense of humour 42) Piercings?: Two in each ear 43) Blood type?: O 44) Nickname?: my name is Flora so Flo, most friends call me floz lol 45) Relationship status?: Single and I could be happier 46) Zodiac sign?: Leo 47) Pronouns: She/her 48) Favorite TV show: new girl 49) Tattoos: None 50) Right or left hand?: Right FIRST: 51) Surgery: never had any unless tooth pulling counts 52) Piercing: My ears, was about 11 53) Sport: Netball I think and I still play now 54) Vacation: France 55) Pair of trainers: Probably some garish pink pair from clarks (uk kids u feel me) 57) Eating: Nothing 58) Drinking: Water 59) I’m about to: carry on watching The Handmaid's Tale 60) Listening to: Strip That Down (represent Liam) 61) Waiting for: summer to be over so I can go back to uni and stop being bored 62) Want: To be with all my friends 63) Get married: would love to 64) Career: I want to work in PR particularly celebrity YOUR TYPE: 65) Hugs or kisses?: Kisses 66) Lips or eyes?: Eyes 67) Shorter or taller?: Taller 68) Older or younger?: Older 69) Nice arms or nice stomach?: A guy with nice biceps wow 70) Sensitive or loud?: Sensitive 71) Hook up or relationship?: Right now hook up 72) Troublemaker or hesitant?: Loool troublemaker HAVE YOU EVER..: 74) Kissed a stranger?: Yes 75) Drank hard liquor?: Yes 76) Lost glasses, contact/lenses?: No 77) Turned someone down?: Yes 78) Sex on first date?: Absolutely not 79) Broken someone’s heart?: possibly 80) Had your heart broken?: No 81) Been arrested?: No 82) Cried when someone died?: Of course 83) Fallen for a friend?: Yesss DO YOU BELIEVE IN..: 84) Yourself?: Yes 85) Miracles?: Yes 86) Love at first sight?: No 87) Santa Claus?: Um 88) Kiss on the first date?: Sure 89) Angels?: Yes OTHER: 90) Current best friend’s name: Maddie and Jenni (love them both equally) 91) Eye color: green 92) Favorite movie: 500 days of summer I tag @trulymadlysydney @permanentcross @inkedferns @harrysalbum @stylesunchained @narrymccartney @harrystylqs @nialls-love @geenalovesthelittlethings ALSO ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO IT make sure you tag me to read it I love getting to know people Also if there's anything else you wanna know about me! GO for it

[phadasus]

92 Truths

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

I was tagged by anyone, I see it and I want to do it.

First of all: Sorry for my bad english XD

LAST… [1] drink: tea [2] phone call: My Boyfriend [3] text message: “Did you liked, eh?” [4] song you listened to: Forest Temple - Koji Kondo (From “Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time” OST) [5] time you cried: Today. I cry very easely.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: no [7] been cheated on: yes [8] kissed someone and regretted it: yes [9] lost someone special: no [10] been depressed: no [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: yes

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] Azure [13] Red [14] Violet

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: I think so  [16] fallen out of love: I was in love already [17] laughed until you cried: Yep [18] found out someone was talking about you: No [19] met someone who changed you: No   [20] found out who your true friends are: Yes, someones [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: Yes

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: a 2/3 of them [23] do you have any pets: None :(  [24] do you want to change your name: Yes [25] what did you do for your last birthday: Celebrate it with my family and my boyfriend [26] what time did you wake up: 12:30 p.m. [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: at Tumblr! [28] name something you cannot wait for: “Ministerio del Tiempo” [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: last week [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Only one think: I need to found a job

[31] what are you listening to right now: Vector To The Heavens - Yoko Shimomura (from Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days OST) [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: No  [33] something that is getting on your nerves: My new housemate. He is annoying. [34] most visited website: facebook [35] elementary: Long ago [36] high school: Sad  [37] college: Never going to  [38] hair colour: Reddish [39] long or short hair: Wish I have a longer hair

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Yes

[41] what do you like about yourself? My eyes   [42] piercings: Helix

[43] blood type: A+ [44] nickname: Silver, Mitsuya, Miya, Mitsu, etc.. [45] relationship: taken [46] zodiac sign:scorpio. [47] pronouns: she/her   [48] fav tv show: Ministerio del Tiempo. Ahem. [49] tattoos: Three: a Phoenix in my back, symbol of scorpio in my arm, and Digimon’s Crests in my leg. [50] right or left handed: I use right to write, but left to eat.

FIRST… [51] surgery: None. [52] piercing: Two months ago. [53] best friend: When I was 3, I guess.   [54] sport: What? Ah. Swimming [55] vacation: In a Camping.

[56] pair of trainers: Don’t remember. 

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: no [58] drinking: no [59] i’m about to: play with the Play 4 (XD) [60] listening to: Music, iTunes. [61] waiting for: nothing [62] want: top lay!

[63] get married: Someday.

[64] career: I wish

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: Eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller

[68] older or younger: younger [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Once. I didn’t want to repeat.  [75] drank hard liquor? yas. [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? No [77] turned someone down: yes [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? someones  [80] had your own heart broken? Yes :(. [81] been arrested? never [82] cried when someone died? yes [83] fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? sometimes [85] miracles? sometimes [86] love at first sight? no [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? depends [89] angels? no

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: I have friends, but anyone is best. [91] eye colour: brown [92] favourite movie: The Shawshank Redemption!

I will tag... @saixswings XD A veure si ho saps fer! Per lo menys en castellá

[safyresky]

92 Truths

I’M SO MAD I WANTED TO BE THE DOUBLE TAGGER BUT @mellomadness BEAT ME TO IT?????? I was originally tagged by @thewayhistoryiswritten. They tagged the whole fam so now I am gonna just sneak in here and be the TRIPPLE TAGGER B)

This one is really long?? So if you’re not about people oversharing on the internet then just skip down using “J” or blacklist long post, cause that’s what I’ll tag this as :)

(I would put a read more but half the people who tagged me use mobile and those don’t show up on mobile so...my apologies!)

Anyway let’s get to it, shall we?

LAST…

[1] drink: hot chocolate. for those keeping up with my roll up the rim #struggles, 15/15 have NOT won. 

[2] phone call: Richard, my lovely bf who couldn’t remember the cereal my sister wanted

[3] text message: my sister who has no idea what food I have at home and is staying until Sunday and needs to eat

[4] song you listened to: One of the songs off the Steven Universe music playlist I have on soundcloud

[5] time you cried: Watching Moana last week it just gets me EVERY TIME the powerful I AM MOANA!!!!! I JUST YES. YES YOU ARE. YOU ARE AND I AM A WRECK

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Nope

[7] been cheated on: In a way yes but also no.

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope

[9] lost someone special: Yes.

[10] been depressed: low key all of last year? it was a struggle. and not like diagnosed depressed just...feeling sad ALL the TIME and WORTHLESS and people would tell me you’re great and I just wouldn’t believe them b/c it didn’t feel like I was great at all. I couldn’t even write about my shitty frosty children I just....couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but think about how shitty things were going and how much I wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep and forget about life

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: I have never gotten drunk to the point of throw up but hey, tomorrow is paddy’s day and my sister wants me to get “turnt” and “wasted” so we’ll see if I go over my comfortable drunk limit of 5 alcohols. Will keep you posted!

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] Blue

[13] Light blue

[14] Orange (Were you expecting more blue?? Hehe)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yes!

[16] fallen out of love: No, I’ve just made my relationship STRONGER

[17] laughed until you cried: Oh my god yes I live in a house with 3 other immature young adults who are stressed to the max you would be surprISED how often one of us laughing until we cry happens

[18] found out someone was talking about you: Not in bad ways!

[19] met someone who changed you: I don’t think so, though my current friends may have effected my humour just a tad ;)

[20] found out who your true friends are: Yeah, actually! A lot of realizations happened this year let me tell you *side eyes my shitty pal who makes things about herself constantly*

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: I mean Richard is my facebook friend so...yes? We’ve been dating for 5 years though so idk how much that counts?? Cause he’s my SO???

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them I know well enough, I don’t add total strangers

[23] do you have any pets: My cat! Cinnamon! He’s so cute and such an affectionate lil bud for being a stray a year ago like what a cat I love him s o  m u c h he’s so sILLY

[24] do you want to change your name: I love my name very much. It can be spunky (Dani), elegant (Ella), and a mix of them both (Daniella!)

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I turned 21 and...I actually can’t recall?? I think Richard and I went out to dinner and OH NOW I REMEMBER!

We went to the Works and he surprised me with all of my good friends being there and then we went home and he got me an ICE CREAM CAKE and my housemates put my gifts in a suitcase b/c we had no wrapping stuffs welcome to Student Life my guys

[26] what time did you wake up: At 7AM today b/c I had an 8:30

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was messaging Ana bean and making my bed because my sister wanted to sleep and my sheets had just finished washing

[28] name something you cannot wait for: Summer! I have a job, I’m staying in Kingston, I’M GONNA PLANT SHIT!!!! IT’S gonna be gr8!!

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: In February for reading week!

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish my parents hadn't struggled so much when I was younger, b/c then I would have had decent RESP’s and wouldn’t owe the government so much money for school Dx

[31] what are you listening to right now: The chatter of nearby people eating lunch (I forgot my headphones today I’m real upset)

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: You know, I see soo many people in one shift that one of them was probably named Tom tbh

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: FIFTEEN (15) ROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN CUPS AND NOT A SINGLE WIN. EVERYONE I KNOW HAS WON SOMETHING BUT NOT ME I AM BITTER AF THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST YEAR FOR ME FOR ROLL UP THE RIM

[34] most visited website: this blue hellhole 

[35] elementary: St Herbert down the street from home. Everyone made fun of it and called it St Hubert’s, like the chicken place?? It bugged me as a kid now I’m like lmao yeah too bad they don’t have good chicken there

[36] high school: St Joe’s near my house! Commonly known as St Joe’s Hoes b/c there was a prostitute ring in the bathrooms in the 90s apparently??? And also everyone wore their kilts really high up. Those got banned. I was bitter I loved the kilt it was very warm

[37] college: Queen’s U! 

[38] hair colour: It is Chestnut brown, according to Laurentian pencil crayons (it’s dark brown enough that my boyfriend thought it was black for the first year and a half we knew each other hahaha)

[39] long or short hair: I like it longer because then I can put it up a lot?? Though mid-length is usually my go to

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Does my boyfriend count. B/c if so then hecka yes

[41] what do you like about yourself?: My eyebrows SLAY. I like that I have managed to build up my patience so much. I like that I’m super creative and helpful and I like that I try to be as supportive as possible and usually pals are like ye u are supportive which does me a GOOD right in the heart!! I am being a HELP!!

[42] piercings: just my ears!! i’ve always wanted a nose piercing ha but I wouldn’t go through with it, my pain tolerance is exactly 0

[43] blood type: No idea!

[44] nickname: Dani

[45] relationship status: In a relationship with the most WONDERFUL FLUFF EVER Richard is really gr8 okay I could talk about him for days what a guy

[46] zodiac sign: Libra

[47] pronouns: She/her

[48] fav tv show: Steven Universe

[49] tattoos: none. if I got one it would be a shooting star somewhere inconspicuous 

[50] right or left handed: right handed! for most things. I do use my left hand for odd things, like using a fork w/ a knife

FIRST… [51] surgery: wisdom teeth when I get them out this summer

[52] piercing: My ears when I was 2 months old or so

[53] best friend: PLEASE DO NOT AS ME THIS I HAVE MANY MANY BIFFERS (Richard, AJ, Ana, Jess, Athena...)

[54] sport: skiing 

[55] vacation: Mexico when I was 7! Maybe younger, I can’t recall. 

[56] pair of trainers: I just have converse?? Do they count??

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Timbits

[58] drinking: Just finished a hot chocolate

[59] i’m about to: Finish a seminar response and then scream internally until I can go home

[60] listening to: People talking, still (there’s a lot of repeat questions here)

[61] waiting for: Class time

[62] want: A nap or two, a raise at work

[63] get married: One of these days! I keep asking Richard if we can just go to the courthouse and ELOPE but he keeps saying “yes let’s do that before we get married just go to a courthouse and wait on the big fancy ceremony until we can afford it!! He’s very set on being able to have a place for ourselves and such before hand which I agree with. But I still really wanna run to the courthouse one day and just fucking do it man)

[64] career: a writer with fame to rival that of J.K. Rowling, for instance, or the archaeologist who discovers Atlantis!

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: Hugs! I’m a really cuddly fuck but I love giving Richard kisses ALL OVER HIS FACE he gets soo happy!!

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes

[67] shorter or taller: Taller so I look cute when I attempt to be the big spoon, and so I can fit under the chin of my SO for MAXIMUM HUG

[68] older or younger: Older (irony b/c Richard is exactly 9 months older than me)

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Both? Both. Both is good.

[71] sensitive or loud: Both? Both. Both is good.

[72] hook up or relationship: Relationship b/c I am not into the sex thing that much, occasionally yes but also not with a stranger?? I don;t look at someone like “I wanna tap that” usually my thought is “They’re pretty” or “I love their jacket” or “HOW DID THEY EYELINER???? THAT GOOD???” (Like ANA’S EYELINER OMG YOU ARE A MASTER AT THE EYELINER ANA PLEASE TEACH ME UR WAYS).

The only instance of “I wanna tap that” occurs like once in a full moon or two when I stare at Richard a v long time and thing HE IS SO WONDERFUL AND LOVELY I LOVE HIM LET’S GO RIGHT NOW INTO THE BED (TMI alert my guys, haha whoops)

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, though I can be a shit disturber, ask AJ. And Ana. And my other housemates, especially Richard. I can be a nuisance and have been confirmed to be an occasional menace >:)

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Nope

[75] drank hard liquor? It depends on your definition? Sometimes I have a liqueur with my Dad but idk if it counts as hard liquor, it’s usually a Bailey’s

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? ASK AJ I CONSTANTLY CANNOT FIND MY GLASSES B/C I CAN EVER REMEMBER WHERE I LEFT THEM

[77] turned someone down: In the most passive way possible. Fun fact: I once “friend-zoned” Richard, ha

[78] sex on first date? Heck no, I gotta know a guy or gal REALLY WELL before being like YES LET US ENGAGE IN COITUS, That is something I share with someone I trust fully and completely, not random people I meet on the first date (do people actually do that??) 

[79] broken someone’s heart? Probably?? I dunno

[80] had your own heart broken? Omg yes when I was a lil pre-high schooler, dear me

[81] been arrested? HA no

[82] cried when someone died? Heck yes! real people, fictional characters...I’m a mess

[83] fallen for a friend: Every crush I have ever had began with a friendship so yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? Usually, yes!! I had a bad bout of thinking nothing would turn out right the past year but I’m back in the swing of thinking “It’ll be okay, you can do it”

[85] miracles? I think yes

[86] love at first sight? Love at first sight is a MYTH. Love takes time, patience. Love takes getting to know someone really well and knowing how you work with them and how they work with you. Love takes a lot and if love at first sight is a thing, it’s more like the IDEA of a person, not who they really really are.

[87] santa claus? For real, yes, I actually do b/c when I had lost my belief already, there was one year where my siblings (who had been naughty) weren’t on the christmas party lists at my parents work for gifts, and I was. So yeah. I have a solid belief in Santa make fun all you want idgaf 

[89] angels? Very much so. Ethereal angels and angels here I meet that have a profound impact on my life

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: I HAVE MANY but in no order, Richard, AJ, Jess, Ana, Athena... 

[91] eye colour: Brown

[92] favourite movie: Moana, Grease, Atlantis, El Dorado. Those are my top four. I think.

GOOD GRIEF THIS WAS A LONG ONE I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY AJ, YOU TOO MELLO. @divinitycas here is a third tag because yolo?? I guess??? Anyone else who likes to overshare on the internet please, be my guest!!! AND THEN TAG ME I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT OTHERS!!

[pondlifewritings-blog]

Facebook memories

We all have them and even if we decide to turn them off, they still occasionally decide to pop on. This year I decided to have them on, it's made me realise how much I have grown as a person. I used to bait my partners on there, right vague statuses looking for attention, I used to have full on conversations on my wall (don't remember if messenger existed). For the past 4 years I don't post as much I upload my photos and so PSA but actual posting I don't really do. It's amazing how Facebook can connect and make you feel lonely all at the same time but anyway I'm rambling.

The past week the memories have subconsciously been fucking with me and my relationship on the 21/9/09 I got engaged or I think that was the date of it. My boyfriend at the time proposed to me and I felt I had to accept so I did. The love I had for him was passion I had never felt but I didn't believe in marriage after my parents failed one and especially not at my age 20. After a while of being engaged I got used to the idea and was like yes this will work we can get married in 5 years and we will be together forever and no bitch can get in our way.

Now stupid me didn't believe the rumors he was flirting with other chicks and pretty much emotionally cheating on me with my friends. One of my friends played strip poker with him.whilst I was asleep in the next room as I was sick. One friend and him discussed how they were the perfect couple and he should break up with me and months before this one acquaintance (his ex) as such claimed she had slept with him and was pregnant. Now I didn't believe them about the flirting or the sleeping as 1) he was supposedly a virgin when he met me 2) my friends wouldn't do that 3) he was the love of my life and he told me he hadn't

Now a day after we got engaged the friend that was having an emotional relationship with me told me I had to listen to her that he was a sleaze and a liar and that his ex could prove it. His ex was pregnant but wouldn't get a paternity test so I put it down to bitches being jealous that I got him. This spectacular guy who had never worked a day in his life who I fucking supported. We discussed our future and how we should just move away from it all. We decided to move to Perth. All sounded like a fairy tale.

He went to Perth to find a job, a house and to set us up whilst I worked and once I quit my job I would fly over there. I was supporting him whilst he was over there whilst I was getting abusive messages from him about how could I expect him to do it all and how comes I still got to live the good life.

He then dumped me on the 23rd of December.

He then got with another girl 2 weeks later and a month after we broke up I found out he had also slept with his best friends girlfriend. I also was finally ready to read all the conversations he had had with all these chicks when we were together(my sister had them all). Funny enough I lost a lot of friends over it all and I became a shell of any kind of self I had ever been but I still loved him.

He moved back here in April/May, I started sleeping with him and believing his lies, he just wanted to sort himself out before we got back together. Him and his housemate had a falling out and she told me the truth he was still sleeping with the ex (the one he knocked up) and she was pregnant again. I left and he moved back to Perth. September that year he started messaging me again telling me he loved me, missed me etc. I was falling for it all over again. Turned out he had a new girlfriend well actually he was engaged again, I realised I couldn't do what had been done to me to another chick. I ended it and sent her the messages, they stayed together for I believe at least another 6 months and I was finally done.

The life lessons that all taught me and fucked with me were endless and I have to admit his family was amazing to me and I should of given them an explanation to why I ghosted but I couldn't.

So now why am I bringing all this up it happened 8/9 Years ago how can it possibly effect me now.

Fun fact I'm engaged again. I trust this guy more than you can ever imagine, I love him more than anything but yet here I am again engaged.

Now I proposed and all I can think about is fuck what if all or any of that happens. He has an extremely close friendship with my sister, I don't know what he does online when his on steam, I don't know the conversations that happen. What if I lose the love of my life?

[kronicillk]

Question and answer time!!!

Thanks @beautyofdeconstruction 1. Are looks important in a relationship? A: no not really, I prefer personality and than find beauty in the body, but in saying that sometimes a persons looks can affect the way you perceive them.
2. Are relationships ever worth it? A: most definitely, even if they don't last, even if it was painful, you can learn a lot from relationships and continue to hope for a better relationship once you have learnt about yourself
3. Are you a virgin? A: bwhahaha nope
4. Are you in a relationship? A: nope, I do wish I was from time to time but I realise how much help and affection I need to help me grow as a person
5. Are you in love? A: love no, crush yes. 
6. Are you single this year? A: yup completely. 
7. Can you commit to one person? A: yes
8. Describe your crush A: it's a guy, I met in hospital which is usually a bad idea, he gives off a Viking sort of appearance and while gentle and intelligent can be as powerful as a hurricane. He has many girls and even guys falling for him, which is unusual for me, he had a lot of problems hence why we are simply friends right now as he needs space and time but I'm not ready to give up on him yet.
9. Describe your perfect mate A: intelligent, loyal, strong morals, is clingy but knows when to give space, enjoys coffee or cafe adventures, respects my beliefs, will listen to my insane theories even if they just laugh at them. Can make me laugh and blush regularly which is hard to do.
10. Do you believe in love at first sight? A: I want to, but our eyes can be bigger than our stomachs. 
11. Do you ever want to get married? A: if the right person came along, and probably a pagan hand fasting ceremony rather than a catholic one unless my partner was strongly catholic.
12. Do you forgive betrayal? A: depends, small stuff yes but I still hold onto it, big betrayals can speak about a persons true nature and I don't usually forgive those.
13. Do you get jealous easily? A: I can, but I usually realise, analyse it and move on pretty quickly.
14. Do you have a crush on anyone? A: yusssss
15. Do you have any piercings? A: normal ear lobes and belly button but I want more
16. Do you have any tattoos? A: not yet
17. Do you like kissing in public? A: pecks yes, full making out no, unless in a crowd or a quieter area depends
20. Do you shower every day? A: not usually I don't have the energy for that.
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? A: I doubt it, but I'd like to think at least one person admires me from afar.
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? A: nah
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? A: absolutely, it's not in my nature to cheat.
24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? A: highly unlikely 
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? A: it would be nice but I'm not too fussed
26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? A: I don't think so
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? A: no
28. Have you ever been cheated on? A: no
29. Have you ever cheated on someone? A: Hell no
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? A:I have some liposuction on my thighs, calves, stomach and arms, thinning down my jaw line so it isn't so wide.
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? A: romantically? No
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? A: yup who hasn't these days
33. Have you ever had sex with a man? A: haha yeah
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? A: not yet 😭
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? A: yup multiple times 
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? A: best friends no, close friends yes. 
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? A: not that I believe
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? A: yup
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? A: a few times 😅
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? A: yup but they never saw it
41. Have you had sex so far this year? A: no 😭
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? A: as long as the other person 
43. How long was your longest relationship? A: a couple of months I think
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? A: in total I think it's 6 
45. How many people did you kiss in 2011? A: haha no one 
46. How many times did you have sex last year? A: twice I think
47. How old are you? A: 21
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? A: support them, they don't see me that way and while it hurts I'd rather see them happy than fulfil my own desires 
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? A: n/A
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? A: probs not I'd be thankful but sit them down with a coffee a remind them exactly what happened.
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? A: I can't do everything but there is at least one person I would do anything within my power 
52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? A: yup, distance, unrequited love, they had a lot of struggles them self and they clung to me to save them and I knew that was not helping them.
53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? A: yup
54. Is there someone you will never forget? A: always
55. Share a relationship story. A: My first girlfriend, I met in a special school met to reintroduce kids who had been institutionalised back into school. I had only been there a week but was still too sick for it to be of any help, I ran into her a few more times in community care facilities, once we both left we dated for a few months we were both very unwell, but she lacked any internal awareness, just before my 16th birthday she was planning to take me camping to take my V card, I was really excited and was desperate, but started calling me and emotionally abusing me, I didn't realise at the time but she was easy become jealous, after the regular calls which my parents were curious about despite me hating phone calls and not knowing about my non-straightness, I filled with panic and requested a break, she believed I was dumping her and she called me crying saying she was going to kill herself, panic overwhelmed me and I realised I had become someone who was going to be guilty of sending someone to suicide despite only trying to protect my own sanity, I called her housemate and found she was fine and safe and was sitting watching a comedy movie with her laughing. I cut ties with her and when she turned stalker I quietly ignored her without anyone knowing until she was harasssing me and threatened to go to the police, she left me alone of 2 years but every once in a while she'll try to contact me and apologise for what's she's done and wants to make amends but I refuse to be in any contact with her.
56. State 8 facts about your body A: 1. My upper thighs are littered with self harm scars 2. I have PCOS and grow a little extra fuzz than most people 3. I have hyperextension in most of my joints and dislocate regularly 4. My natural hair is actually red/orange but since I don't go outside much and have dyed it it grows back more a light brown 5. On my right foot the creases look like the Kanji for Baka/stupid 6. My eyes are a deep beautiful brown that have plenty of white which people say they fall into (tacky I know right but kind of nice) 7. My boobs are a lovely 12D to a 14C and despite my paleness I believe are just the right size 8. My hair and nails grow unusually fast despite my sick body and slow healing. 
57. Things you want to say to an ex A: I'm sorry I couldn't be your one, I truly hope you are doing better and don't look back on our time with regret or sadness.
58. What are five ways to win your heart? A: coffee, chcocolate, knowing my allergies and sensitivities, knowing my small quirks and habits, scented candles and soft toys 
59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) A: okay down below 
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? A: 15 years
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? A: how they carry them self 
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? A: plan a date or weekend get away with lots of coffee and some alcohol, some beautiful sites knowing their accessibility, a nice hotel. Hell it could be small just take me around the local area or to the beach and just be with me. 
63. What is your definition of “having sex”? A: physical contact that involves private body parts insertion or a series or touching with sweat and orgasms.
64. What is your definition of cheating? A: if you are in a committed relationship and than spend more time energy and feelings on someone else this may or may not involve sex, but any kissing is for sure.
65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? A: touching, kissing, teasing. 
66. What is your favourite roleplay? A: depends on the mood and person
67. What is your idea of the perfect date? A: something simple, it doesn't have to involve a lot of money, as long as we can enjoy the time together and can do some romantic things I don't honestly mind, I'm easily pleased. 
68. What is your sexual orientation? A: Pansexual 
69. What turns you off? A: stupidity, IGNORANCE, selfishness, lack of personal awareness.
70. What turns you on? A: light touches, simple kisses on the cheek or forehead, playing with my hair.
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? A: BWHAHAHA SO NOT APPROPRIATE not for my main blog at least. Let's just say lots and lots of sex with some BDSM
72. What words do you like to hear during sex? A: again not appropriate for my main blog but what most people like to hear I guess. 
73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? A: I'd like to make them something or buy them something important, something useful maybe otherwise I'd just like to take them out for coffee and chat let them talk and be there for them.
74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? A: that they wear deodorant and shower somewhat regularly and wash hair
75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Won a soft toy in an arcade for me
76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? A: fuck um depends, as a gift? I got my housemate a doormat that we both love with Harley Quinn on it, but I think the sweetest thing I've ever done would be finding people who are living through hell, listened to them, talked to them, laughed with them, watched them emerge from their shells and grow in the most wonderful people that I continue to cheer on.
77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? A: As long as it's legal and all consensual I don't give a fuck. 
78. What’s your dirtiest secret? A: i am a horny mother fucker that appears very innocent and conceal my sex life. 
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? A: I am jealous constantly of healthy people, beautiful people, confident people, of a lot of people but hardly ever in a romantic way.
80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? A: yesterday to my mum after giving me a wonderful birthday
81. Who are five people you find attractive? A: 1. Kristen Stewart 2. Benedict Cumberpatch 3. Robert Patterson 4. Jennifer Lawrence 5. Idk some randoms I see on the street 
82. Who is the last person you hugged? A: my brothers girlfriend Kelly, as she moves two states away to be with him.
83. Who was your first kiss with? A: his name was Jack, I just turned 16.
84. Why did your last relationship fail? A: She was crazy as fuck.
85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? A: sure