#and how his connection to leia formed

[heartofaskywalkerprincessleia]

Luke Skywalker is a hero for people with anxiety

(Contains spoilers from Episodes 4-6).

A lot of people relate to Luke Skywalker. He's down-to-earth, honest, and always strives for the light. Watching Star Wars again for the first time in a while, however, I realized something. When I looked it up on the internet, I was surprised that I couldn't find a lot of discussions about it. What do I mean? That Luke Skywalker suffers from anxiety.

The deleted scene from Tosche station, which I recently saw for the first time, sheds some light on this aspect of Luke's character. In the scene, we learn from Luke's friends that he panics easily. They're all chiding him for ‘again’ thinking that the Empire is coming. Even though he's just seen Princess Leia's ship fighting with Darth Vader's ship, his friends begin gaslighting him.

Someone online pointed out that this scene causes Luke's statement “there's nothing left for me here, now” to be more forceful. Upon finding out that his Aunt and Uncle are dead, Luke doesn't go to his friends for help. You wonder what his friends thought upon hearing that Luke's family had been killed by stormtroopers, right after he'd tried to warn them.

This aspect of Luke's character, and how he is treated by his friends, conditions him to not ask for help. In the ESB, as he's dying on Hoth, he never calls for anyone. If Obi-Wan hadn't shown up, Luke wouldn't have started calling out to him. If he hadn't started shouting, Han Solo wouldn't have seen him. 

This trend continues. Luke panics about things, but doesn't ask for help. Yoda tries to help him, getting him to relax and clear his mind. But, the vision of his friends worries him too much. He makes light of Obi-Wan’s warning that the Empire is after him for his talents. Luke is still holding onto what he told Biggs in the deleted scene from Tosche station–that the Empire will never draft him. 

During the fight on Cloud City, Vader acknowledges that Luke has learned to control his fear. Remember, Luke canonically gets so scared of the Sand People that he faints in the first movie. There's almost a parallel of that first moment, as Vader knocks Luke down and holds his lightsaber to Luke's throat just like the Sand People knocked him down before.

Luke has always gotten through things on his own. But, at this moment, he loses his hand. Losing his hand is symbolic of Luke losing the ability to do everything on his own. His father, who he always idolized and held onto, is evil. He's alone. He realizes that everyone was trying to protect him from this reality. Even his aunt and uncle let him think that his father was a hero, because it helped Luke to hold on. 

He finally reaches out to Leia. He finally forms a real connection with someone, which requires being vulnerable, and overcoming his fear of not being taken seriously. And, Leia rescues him. 

In the ROTJ, Luke tells Obi-Wan that he can't do this alone. He starts working with Han and Leia, and realizing that he is actually important to them. He trusts Leia enough to tell her that she is his sister, and that he has to save their father. 

But, still, Luke is trying to do everything on his own. He goes to face his father, and tries to be calm. He tries to avoid becoming angry. He tries to control the anxiety that got him ridiculed by his friends. The anxiety that led him to destroy Vader in his vision during his training on Degobah. The anxiety that he sees as his greatest flaw. 

But, he panics. He goes after Vader, and cuts off his hand. And, that's when he realizes it. 

All his life, Luke has wanted to be like his father. He praised himself for the positive qualities that are like his father. Being a good pilot. Being a Jedi (before he knew that his father was Vader). But at this moment, Luke looks at Vader's mechanical hand, and realizes that his father is just like him. His father is anxious. His father was scared, and overwhelmed once, just like him. His father didn't have anyone to turn to. 

Luke stands up to the Emperor, but that isn't what causes this scene to be so powerful. It's the fact that, as Luke is dying, he says the words his father once desperately wanted to say to someone.

“Help me.” 

“Please, help me.”

And Anakin, who wished someone would help him, who told Luke that it was too late for him, realizes that he can be that person for someone else. The pain he's gone through his whole life doesn't have to be passed on. He can save his son from the same fate. And he does. 

That's why Luke Skywalker is a hero for people who suffer from anxiety. Because he shows us the importance of accepting ourselves. Of self-compassion. Of reaching out to others. Of not being afraid to ask for help when we need it. And, if we do, we might just be that little spark of hope that someone else needs. 

May the Force be with you, always.

[david-talks-sw]

What's 'Star Wars' about?

A while ago I got an 'Ask' that concluded with "what is Star Wars about, if not the Jedi, right?" And weirdly enough... I have to disagree.

I mean... to me? Yes. Star Wars is about the Jedi. A Jedi-less, Sith-less, lightsaber-less Star Wars movie or series will struggle to get me on board (which is why I was surprised that I loved Andor so much).

But if you read everything George Lucas said, if you think about the Jedi's place in his two trilogies... they're not front and center, right?

Sure, there's Luke Skywalker... but he's a learner, in the Original Trilogy. Same goes for Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, in the Prequels. They're going through character arcs.

Otherwise, the Jedi are either used as mentors to the protagonist...

... or to deliver exposition...

... but they're mostly vectors Lucas uses to present his thesis.

Functionally-speaking, the Jedi are important in that they embody the Buddhist philosophies the movie's themes are based on.

But when it comes to the plot, they're secondary. That's because the the themes of these films are bigger than the Jedi themselves.

So the question becomes... what's are the themes?

The primary goal of the Star Wars films is to inspire kids to start thinking outside the box and teach them a set of values and psychological motifs that have been passed down through mythology and fairy tales.

These values can be summed up in the dichotomy between greed and compassion / selfishness and selflessness / pleasure and joy.

We all have both aspects and need to strike a balance between the two. After all, being greedy ultimately comes from fear and being afraid can happen to all of us. Problem is, unchecked fear can lead to anger, hate and a whole lot of suffering.

The more selfish you are, the more you want things and the more you're afraid that you'll lose everything you have, you'll get angry when someone tries to take it and that will hurt everyone around you.

In other words, fear is the path to the tempting/addictive Dark Side.

Thus, seeing as we'll be inevitably tempted by the Dark Side and give in at some point (because nobody's perfect), we should aim to be as selfless and compassionate as possible for our own good... but also for the greater good, because we're all connected to a life energy. You can call it Qi or God; in Star Wars it's known as the Force.

As such, we all form a symbiotic circle and working with that in mind is better than putting ourselves first and draining from everything and everyone around us.

But we also need to be careful because there will be people who give in to that selfish side and will try to control everything. When the time comes, we must stand up for what's right.

So that's Lucas' thesis.

If I had to sum them up, the six movies illustrate it as follows:

The Prequel Trilogy is about the consequences of greed, explored through Anakin on a smaller scale and the Senate on a larger one.

The Original Trilogy shows the triumph of compassion, through Luke, Leia & Han and the Rebellion's fight against the Empire.

Lucas talked about it multiple times, the Prequels are about how Anakin becomes Darth Vader and how the Republic becomes the Empire, and in both those cases, it happens because they're greedy.

The Senate is greedy in the more classical sense. They could give a shit about "symbiosis", no they're taking bribes, letting corporations dictate policy, using loopholes to keep themselves in power and halting any meaningful progress out of fear that the new status quo will conflict with their own self-serving goals.

Anakin's greed manifests in a different way. He turns to the Dark Side because of his attachment. He wants to stop Padmé from dying... but not because he wants to save her, rather he wants to save himself from feeling the pain of loss again and will do anything to not have to live without her, her own wishes and the natural cycle of life and death be damned.

In both cases, they cave under pressure orchestrated by Palpatine, but nobody puts a gun to their head. They make a deliberate choice that comes from a selfish place, and neither one takes personal responsibility for it, they blame others, the Separatists in the case of the Senate and the Jedi in Anakin's case.

The Republic becomes an Empire with thunderous applause, betraying the people it was meant to protect.

And when faced between doing something he knows is right and giving in to his selfish desires...

... Anakin elects to do the latter, thus betraying his family and leaving the Force in darkness.

These selfish choices impact the galaxy as a whole, including the only characters in the trilogy who were doing their best to be compassionate and live in symbiosis: the Jedi, Padmé and Bail.

These champions of the Light Side are stuck playing catch-up or helplessly witnessing the events unfold, throughout the trilogy. They're playing by the rules and Palpatine uses this to his advantage.

Thus, as the galaxy tears itself apart because of Palpatine's manipulations, the Jedi and Bail are ignored and gradually weakened until they're either rendered irrelevant or killed.

A new order is born, one built on blood, lies and greed: the Empire.

But a new hope remains.

While before, the Jedi and people like Bail stood alone as everything around them became willfully corrupt... now, a Rebellion inspired by their legacy has banded together to overthrow the current order. But they don't fight for power or personal glory, they fight for altruistic, compassionate reasons. There's a sense of general responsibility that moves them, they're all doing their part.

On a larger scale, we focus on the Rebels, who are tired of seeing people suffer and decided this needs to stop. They have gone from being passive, to proactive.

On a more personal scale, we see the evolution of Luke, from naive farmer to a hero, and guess what? More and more selfish people - like Han or Lando - are inspired to join the Rebellion, after seeing the exploits of Luke, Leia, or even Ben.

It all culminates in the final film, wherein:

The Rebels band together with the Ewoks - literal teddy bears whom the Empire, in their arrogance, never even considered to be a threat - to destroy the Second Death Star and free the galaxy from imperial tyranny.

At the same time, Emperor Palpatine pressures Luke, who is tempted by the Dark Side like his father was.

But instead of giving in to his selfish desire to kill Darth Vader for all the horrors he's done...

... he finds the strength to rise above it, instead showing compassion for his father, which, in turn, inspires Anakin to do the same.

He faces a choice, like he did in Palpatine's office, two decades prior...

... and this time he chooses right.

Children teach you compassion. Anakin lets go of his fear and anger, and saves his son at the cost of his own life, finally bringing balance back to the Force.

Good triumphed over evil. Its champions achieved victory by being selfless, hopeful and fighting together / helping each other.

And that's it, that's how the movies thematically tie together.

As you can see, the Jedi aren't that directly impactful on the overall plot, because it revolves around Anakin, Luke and the respective factions/institutions around them.

But what the Jedi do bring to the table is their ability to teach and inspire others, both in-universe and out. They're spiritually impactful.

The Jedi are the epitome of compassion, and it's partially through them that George Lucas teaches his values to the audience.

[antianakin]

Ok, I just saw a post and in the tags the OP said (paraphrased)-

“Don’t you guys think Luke had the same relationship with Ben [Obi-Wan] that Leia had with Vader? Like how Luke was able to forgive him but Leia would NEVER, except in the opposite? Where now it’s Leia loving him [Obi-Wan] and Luke having these complicated feelings because Ben told him to suppress his emotions, because idk about you but i’d be mad at someone who told me to suppress all my emotions.”

And…it’s certainly an opinion! Any thoughts?

Well, firstly, I think that even if we decide that Obi-Wan is wrong in what he says to Luke, that it's wrong to equate that to Anakin torturing Leia so that she'll betray people and a cause she cares about, forcing her to watch as her entire planet is blown up as punishment when she DOESN'T betray them and an extra intimidation tactic, torturing her and her friends a second time as bait for Luke, and putting Han in carbonite and giving him to Jabba the Hutt. Like at WORST Obi-Wan gives Luke some bad advice, but even if we agree that it's bad advice, Obi-Wan is clearly doing it for well-meaning reasons because he wants to try to protect Luke. Nothing Anakin does to Leia is EVER well-meaning of any kind. The two things just aren't equal in any way shape or form and I think any accurate version of Luke would be able to understand where Obi-Wan was coming from and forgive the bad advice even if he chose not to take it.

But secondly, and people have said this a lot better than I probably will right now, but "Obi-Wan told Luke to suppress his emotions" is a very literal and simplified way of describing what is happening in that scene. Like yes, Obi-Wan says to "bury his emotions", but the rest of that line is "They do you credit, but they could be used to serve the Emperor." Obi-Wan PRAISES Luke for his emotions and his connections to other people, but he KNOWS that Luke is going up against the two Evilest Space Wizards With Evil Mind-Fucking Powers. And guess what? Luke's feelings are not buried far enough and Anakin DOES pick up on them and he DOES use them against Luke. Like they go for the mental manipulation almost IMMEDIATELY upon Luke showing up, so Obi-Wan is in no way wrong for worrying about this or telling Luke that it's going to happen and trying to give him advice to protect himself against it. Obi-Wan isn't saying that Luke shouldn't feel the things he's feeling or that he has to bury them forever, but just that he needs to find a way to hide it FROM ANAKIN AND PALPATINE when he does inevitably go up against them in a fight.

So no, it's not the same, Luke DOESN'T have complicated feelings about Obi-Wan, he LOVES Obi-Wan, and so does Leia, and the two of them get to swap all kinds of fun stories about their adventures with Obi-Wan. Maybe Obi-Wan manages to stick around as a ghost just long enough for Luke to train Leia how to see them and so Leia can speak to him one last time.

[sahsalart]

Star Wars: Saasa Raassiks

Now we get to the badass mother of Pa’loa, Saasa :) Pronounced Saa-YA-sa Raa-Ss-eks.

Saasa Raasskis is a 22-year-old Togruta female with Force sensitivity. She lives on the planet Zullu, which is uninhabited and serves as a living and breathing ecosystem for the Force. Her mother, Athsok Raasskis, was a former Jedi Master who fled Coruscant while pregnant during Order 66. Saasa was born and hidden on Zullu, where she was trained by her mother in the ways of the Force from an early age, however, Athsok renounced the conventional Jedi principles on account of their restrictive code, which, in her view, led to the Jedi Order's downfall. Due to the planet's unique conditions, Saasa has developed an exceptional connection and harmony with the Force, essential for her survival in the harsh environment. Athasok and Saasa lived in peace as Zullu wasn't recognized on many Star Systems to begin with, therefore the Galatic Empire had no knowledge of their existence. When Saasa was a child, she often felt lonely because she didn't have many opportunities to socialize with other people. Instead, she would spend long hours in the vast wilderness, where she made friends with the animals and even tried to use the Force to connect with others. Growing up in the jungle made Saasa a natural athlete, and she can effortlessly climb the dense terrain as if she were an animal herself.

In the year 4 ABY, just before the events of Return of the Jedi, Luke's ship crashes on Zullu after the Force summons him, causing his ship to be pulled towards the planet’s center. He survived for several days in the wilderness before Saasa appeared. Saasa was curious about the young human man and had been following him. However, she pretended to be hostile to protect herself and her home. Saasa developed a unique ability called "Force Truth", where she could use the Force in her eyes to look into people's inner selves, thoughts, and true intentions. After sensing that Luke was one with the Force and meant no harm, she apologized for her initial aggression towards him. Saasa then led Luke to her Mother, Athsok, who recognized him after hearing his surname. Athsok told him that she knew his father and Obi-wan, as they had all served together as generals of the Republic during the Clone Wars and all of the stories she had. Luke's desire to finish his Jedi training, as well as his natural curiosity about Zullu, led the mother-daughter duo to offer him an extended stay. They would teach him everything they knew, and he managed to remain on Zullu for a few months, learning how to survive on the planet by connecting to the Force.

Athsok, a highly skilled Jedi Master, was personally trained by the legendary Yoda himself. Her extensive knowledge and unparalleled experience in the Force proved to be of great assistance to Luke during his Jedi training. Through their rigorous training and survival in the unforgiving jungle, Saasa and Luke formed a strong connection through the Force, eventually leading to them falling deeply in love. However, their love was cut short as Luke was compelled to leave and rescue Han Solo on Tatooine. Despite this separation, Saasa made a bold decision to leave behind her mother and Zullu, and join Luke in his fight against the tyrannical Galactic Empire. Having spent her entire life in hiding, Saasa finally felt empowered to aid the Resistance in their struggle for freedom. Saasa showed unwavering trust in Luke's leadership during the events of Return of The Jedi and played a pivotal role in the destruction of the second Death Star's shield generator, effectively aiding Leia, Han, and Chewy to emerge victorious.

Luke and Saasa's relationship is a beautiful example of trust and mutual respect. Luke held Saasa in high regard for her plentiful knowledge of the Force and saw her as a mentor. Saasa, on the other hand, admired Luke for his compassionate nature and unwavering commitment to freedom. Together, they joined the Resistance and played a crucial role in defeating the Galactic Empire. When the war was over, Saasa decided to stay with Luke and his friends to work towards restoring peace throughout the galaxy. Over time, their bond strengthened, and they fell in love with each other. Eventually, they got married, and Saasa continued to support Luke as he rebuilt the Jedi Order with new, less restrictive codes. As a master, Luke established the order on Yavin 4 but later moved it to Zullu under Saasa's influence. They believed that living in harmony with the Force was the true way of the Jedi. Their love bore fruit in the form of a daughter named Paloa Skywalker, who was a human-Togruta hybrid. Luke and Saasa took great care in raising Paloa and instilled in her the values of the new Jedi Order. Together, they continued to work towards a better future for the galaxy with victories and failures, yet their legacy lived on long after they were gone.

[jessicas-pi]

Ok so continuing on from this slightly bonkers ramble, I give you: More Spur-Of-The-Moment Thoughts About The Bo And The Blueberry AU.

(for clarity, i'm splitting this up into rebels-era and mandoverse-era..)

rebels-era:

Due to the bad experiences he'd been through on the streets, Ezra was nonverbal for a long time. During his stay on Krownest, he would spend hours painting with Alrich and Sabine, because it made him feel heard even if he couldn't find the words to speak.

Bo-Katan said the adoption vows to Ezra on an impulse. She had just told him that she hadn't been able to save his parents, and he had started to cry. She had never thought of adopting him as her own son, but she changed her mind in that moment and never looked back.

Korkie and Ezra are cousins, but Korkie is honestly closer to an older-brother figure to him. Korkie was very interested in the Jedi when he was young, so he has the knowledge to help teach Ezra about the Force, and how to control and hide his powers. (When Ezra eventually gets the Darksaber, Korkie is his second-most vocal supporter. Bo-Katan is the only one who has him beat.)

When Ezra is about eight, Bo-Katan decides he does need some Jedi training, more than she and Korkie can provide, and sets out to find herself a Jedi who can teach this kid. She ends up on Gorse just in time to plummet headfirst into the plot of A New Dawn. Kanan, upon finding out what she wants, refuses to train Ezra. Bo-Katan is not so easily deterred. She makes a game out of finding Kanan and Hera, helping out on a mission, and then delicately pointing out just how many times she's saved their butts and they really owe her one and yknow Ezra could really use some Jedi lessons...

When Ezra is ten, Maul kidnaps him. Bo-Katan seeks out Kanan again--she knows she can't stop Maul on her own.

In this AU, Kanan defeats Maul, but Bo-Katan is the one to strike the killing blow. She may not be a Jedi, she may not have the Force, but she's a Mandalorian mom. Nobody hurts her boy and lives to tell the tale.

After his kidnapping, Ezra struggles with the Dark side, which gives Kanan the final push he needs to train Ezra. Ezra's recovery is difficult, but he pulls through and is brighter than ever.

Due to Kanan and Ezra training together, connections begin to form between the Mandalorian Resistance and the outside rebellion. By the time Ezra is a teenager, the two groups are cooperating fully.

Bo-Katan knows who Fulcrum is--she recognized the symbol as Ahsoka's face-marking.

Ezra built his first lightsaber with a kyber crystal he found in the Living Waters.

Ezra is much healthier, due to not having to scavenge for his food for most of his childhood. He hit a growth spurt when he was thirteen, shortly before he went to the Imperial Academy and reunited with Sabine. She says she's taller. He says they're the same height. They refuse to measure themselves together and settle it because they're both secretly afraid they're wrong. This is an ongoing argument for the next ten years.

Ezra and Sabine were both really surprised to meet each other at the Academy. I have a funny mental image in my head of them both taking off their helmets at the same time, doing a double take, and then just *spider-man pointing meme* "YOU!"

He was worried for a while that she would turn him in, either as a Force-sensitive or as a spy, but she eventually gave him a vaguely-worded hint that she was keeping his secrets for him.

Sabine still has a big falling-out with her family, but this time, since the Duchess was never used, it's more about the machine's creation itself (and Sabine's decision to run away to the Imperial Academy.) She ends up joining the Spectres for a little while before Hera convinces her to reconcile with her mother. Afterwards, Sabine (and her family) end up joining in with the Mandalorian Resisance.

Korkie, Ezra, Sabine, and Tristan earn the title of Gremlin Squad. Leia is an honorary member as well. Korkie is a lot older than them, but he has enough chaos energy to fit right in.

Ezra and Sabine spend about a year apart during their late teens. By the time they meet again, Ezra has started pulling his hair back. Sabine thanks the Force that she managed to handle the reunion normally because for the first minute and a half there was nothing in her brain except oh no ponytail hot

Thrawn is still purgilled, but since Ezra is a Mandalorian and has a jetpack, he's able to fly out of the window and doesn't get yoinked into the unknown with Thrawn.

mandoverse-era:

So, Mandoverse events take place about five years sooner than in canon. this is solely for the purpose of giving ezra a Chaotic 23 Year Old Who May Not Have His Life Figured Out But By Golly He Has A Laser Sword vibe.

(I've figured some more stuff out, so bear with me because I've changed up the part about Din's introduction from what I said yesterday.)

Luke has also become an honorary member of the Gremlin Squad at this point. He and Ezra met up and discussed their Jedi training. Ezra meets Ben Solo at some point too. He recognizes in the child the same Dark influences that Ezra himself went through after Maul took him, and helps the boy pull through. Ben never Falls, thus averting the events of the sequel trilogy. Luke is secretly a little jealous that Ben thinks his honorary uncle Ezra is cooler than his actual uncle Luke, to which Ezra says, "Aliit ori'shya tal'din."

With Luke's help, the Gremlin Squad becomes the Official Jedi Search-And-Rescue Club. They go looking for more Jedi survivors and invite them to Luke's Jedi school on Mandalore. (Cal and Merrin are some of the first to show up.)

This search for Jedi ends up leading Ezra and Tristan to the planet Arvala-7... mere days after Din Djarin has already retrieved Grogu (AKA the Jedi they were looking for.)

(Din is there early because Moff Gideon's inability to take over Mandalore has moved up the timeline on some other events.)

(Also, Moff Gideon still has the Darksaber, but in this AU, he didn't get it from Bo-Katan, since Bo never got it from Sabine, because Sabine never went to Dathomir, because the events of Visions and Voices never happened. Instead, Gideon got it from Morgan Elsbeth, who took it from Maul's creepy cave and passed it on to him so he could. like. flex on the mandalorians or something idk.)

Ezra and Tristan track Din, because they're worried about Grogu. They constantly follow him for, like, basically 1 1/2 seasons of The Mandalorian. They're always just slightly behind and keep showing up a tiny bit too late to get mixed up in Plot Events.

When Bo-Katan offers to bring Din and Grogu to her Jedi Mandalorian son, Din is not expecting to see one of the two Mandalorians who have been following him constantly. The misunderstanding takes a bit of explaining to clear up.

Oh yeah also. Ezra's response to Bo telling him that she insulted Din to his face when they first met was "Oh, so you're into him?" It was a joke, but the more he saw of the two of them together, the more he started to wonder if there might actually be something there.

When Grogu gets kidnapped, the (official) members of the Gremlin Squad join in the rescue.

After winning the Darksaber and reluctantly agreeing to be Mand'alor, Ezra decides not to live in the palace in Sundari. Mandalore is a dead planet, and a Jedi needs to live with the living. He sets up as Mand'alor on Kalevala, under Bo-Katan's guidance.

Sabine is Ezra's official advisor and Korkie is his PR guy, but Korkie is the one with actual good advice and Sabine is kind of a miracle worker for PR (when she tries. which is not often.) Bo points out that it would make sense to switch their titles, but Ezra thrives on chaos and so he refuses.

Ezra refuses to sit on his Mand'alor Throne in any remotely normal or dignified way. He slouches. He lounges. He sprawls. He sits upside-down. He does one-handed handstands. He and Korkie and Tristan all squeeze together and sit on the throne in identical sets of armor to mess with people. Ezra's Throne Antics are a source of constant exasperation for Bo.

Speaking of the throne, Sabine has claimed the armrest as her official Mand'alor Advisor seat. She thinks sitting there makes her look cool. and yknow what? She's right. It does make her look cool.

Oh yeah, also, nobody knows that Sabine is Ezra's advisor. She wears a plain set of armor, keeps her helmet on, and goes by an alias. This disguise is supposedly for security purposes, but it's actually to keep herself out of the gossip holomagazines. She gets enough attention just as acquaintances with Ezra... imagine what would happen if the press found out she was the one lounging on the armrest of his Mand'alor Throne!

Sabine is also Ezra's bodyguard. She volunteered enthusiastically and kind of begged for the position. Sabine takes a maniacal delight in ferreting out assassination attempts and turning the hunters into the hunted, so to speak. It's like if Kevin McCallister was homicidal.

The first time a Mandalorian clan leader proposes marriage to Ezra, Tristan laughs so hard he falls out of his chair.

----

I have to leave for work now, but I'll probably ramble some more tonight!

[lajulie24]

Don’t mind me, just watching GIFs of Luke throwing away his lightsaber in ROTJ and reclaiming himself as a Jedi “like my father before me” and thinking about all the things that led him there and all the people who contributed to Luke making that decision. Yes, that decision was incredibly personal and speaks to how Luke has grown throughout the OT, and at the same time Luke himself would likely acknowledge that moment wouldn’t have been possible without everyone who has been a part of his life, who helped him get there. Some of whom he never even knew.

It’s a victory for Padmé Amidala Naberrie, whom Luke never knew but who managed to outmatch Sheev Palpatine so many times through her life, in part by refusing to play his game, which is exactly what Luke did here. Palpatine claims Luke’s faith in his friends is his weakness, but both he and his mother knew that it was a strength. Padmé’s friends (particularly Bail and Obi-Wan) are the reason the twins survived at all, the reason Luke had a sister and friend in Leia to lean on during his journey, the reason Obi-Wan survived long enough to watch over him and introduce him to the Force.

It’s a victory for Shmi Skywalker, whom Luke never knew but who influenced her stepson Owen Lars and her daughter-in-law Beru Whitesun Lars, who in turn helped Luke grow into the person he was. Yes, Anakin turned in part because he feared to lose Padmé the way he’d lost Shmi, just like Luke came close to turning when Vader threatened Leia, but I have to think that part of the reason Luke was able to stop was that he had that foundation of love and stability Owen and Beru had nurtured that made Luke remember who he was.

It’s a victory for the Jedi, whom Palpatine had manipulated and twisted and exhausted through the Clone Wars until by the time they faced genocide at Order 66 they were already a shadow of what they could have been. Luke reclaiming what it means to be a Jedi — and again, refusing to be defined by the structures and traps Palpatine had constructed for his father and for the other Jedi — would not have been possible without Luke being introduced to the Force by Obi-Wan, taught in the Force by Yoda, AND remembering himself through his bonds with other people. The fact that these Jedi who had survived a horrific genocide could still offer that connection, that hope, says that Sheev had not succeeded eliminating their light. Just like Sheev had not succeeded in eliminating the light in Anakin.

It’s a victory for all the beings with whom Luke was connected, because Luke had learned the thing his father struggled so hard to do: he learned to love, to trust, and to let go. At this moment, there was no guarantee Luke was getting out of there alive. In fact, a second later he’s being electrocuted by Palpatine and probably going to die. But like Luke said, Palpatine has already lost. Luke won’t turn to the Dark Side. He’ll keep trusting his friends, and trusting in the light. And everyone who has connected with Luke—Leia, Han, Chewie, Lando, his friends in the Rebellion, everyone — has been changed by that connection in a way that Palpatine can never take away. No matter who survives, that light in some form will survive.

[from-a-legends-pov]

Star Wars Legends Spotlight: The Birth of Jaina and Jacen Solo

In this last week of writer signups for the From a Legends Point of View fanfiction event, we’ll be celebrating Legends by highlighting some key events, characters, and moments from the Legends continuity.

Writers: Help us add to the story! Sign up through Sunday, June 2 to write for the From a Legends Point of View fanfiction event. Together, we’ll build a collection of Star Wars Legends fanfiction set during the time of the Original Trilogy. Use our Signup Form to pitch your story concepts (Signup Guidelines available here), and please encourage your favorite writers to participate!

Our latest Legends spotlight is the birth of Jaina and Jacen Solo, the twin children of Leia Organa and Han Solo, born in 9 ABY on Coruscant.

Why is this important?

The birth of Jaina and Jacen takes place at the beginning of Timothy Zahn’s novel The Last Command, the final book in the Thrawn trilogy, but even before birth Jaina and Jacen were central to the events of the trilogy, with evil Dark Jedi clone Joruus C’Boath and Grand Admiral Thrawn attempting to kidnap Leia while she was pregnant in order to gain control of the twins, and a kidnapping attempt not long after their birth that was thwarted by a still-morally-conflicted Mara Jade. Later on, they and their friends become the center of the Young Jedi Knights series and take on major roles in the Yuuzhan Vong conflict in the New Jedi Order series, particularly since the Vong have a thing about twins. While their ending is tragic (Jacen turning to the Dark Side was never going to end well), they remain important parts of connecting the Original Trilogy and even the Prequel Trilogy to the Legends continuity.

Jaina and Jacen’s birth also represents a type of hope for the galaxy — Leia learning to deal with her mixed feelings about the Skywalker genetic inheritance (as detailed in Tatooine Ghost), Han and Leia settling in to a happy domestic life together while still kicking ass for the galaxy, Luke eagerly awaiting his niece and nephew but also anticipating the next generation of Jedi he will help to lead and teach.

How does it happen?

The events leading up to the twins’ birth are fairly dramatic. Among other things, pregnant Leia goes to Kashyyyk with Chewbacca to hide out from Thrawn and ends up having to escape by hanging on to underside of a Wookiee while they climb through a series of trees; she’s begun to train with Luke and is able to stop her would-be Noghri kidnappers and then even gain them to her side, using her bloodline attachment to Vader, her smarts, and her diplomatic skills.

The birth itself is fairly humorous to people who have experienced childbirth — in the book, Leia is given a light box that she is supposed to focus on during labor to distract from the pain. In the comic version, we can see that Leia is flat on her back, which probably isn’t going to be super-helpful for delivering twins. Throughout the birth, Leia is reassuring her children in the Force, letting them know they are okay, as well as occasionally trading banter with Han.

(Also, the strange mid-birth thumbs-up from a medic who is almost fully covered and masked was too funny not to include.)

Once the twins are here, Leia and Han are both dealing with new parenthood and trying to thwart Thrawn’s plans at the same time, so we get a mix of sweet domestic scenes with battle scenes and Leia’s attempts at figuring out what’s going on with Delta Source, Thrawn, the cloning facility, and C’Boath.

[the-starry-seas]

what's one of your fics i could binge tonight?

hmmm, what are you in the mood for?

running with the wolves to get to you, 10k, rated G

Jango and Obi-Wan have been keeping an important secret as their relationship develops, which is that they’re both werewolves. Besides that minor detail, things are going great – at least until their car breaks down on a road trip and the only place they have to stay is an abandoned hotel. The day before Halloween. Which is on a full moon. No way this could go wrong, right?

who you are makes me who i am, 10k, rated G

Boba isn’t the kind of person who forms connections with people. ‘Friends’ are a foreign concept, and the idea of love is even more confusing. Then he saves a woman’s life, and she saves his, and he starts to wonder if it’s all as strange to him as he thinks.

the arms of the ocean delivered me, 11k, rated G

Two years ago, Echo was badly injured by humans, and taken to the Skako Minor aquarium. It's only after he's lost all hope that he finally has a chance to get home, thanks to meeting the Batch - the only other merpeople he's seen since losing his family. When the Batch drops everything to protect him and get him home, is it really any surprise that he wants them to stay?

ghosts have voices, 16k, rated T

Still reeling from Order 66, Obi-Wan finds an even bigger problem on Mustafar: a powerful Dark Side entity that feeds on the life force of Jedi. He’s lucky to escape with baby Luke and Leia, but his regret at their parents’ deaths isn’t the only thing that follows him from the lava moon. The entity is on the hunt. Stranded on a poisonous planet, the odds of surviving aren’t in Obi-Wan’s favour. At least he has an ally in Cody – but even if they manage to escape, Obi-Wan doesn’t know how to ask the man he secretly loves to stay.

if i don't make it back from where i've gone, just know i loved you all along, 23k, rated T

A movie AU where Leonardo travels back in time with Casey. Because even though Leonardo doesn’t want to live any more, Casey doesn’t want to give up on him, and maybe, just maybe, Casey has enough hope for both of them. Or, from my rambling while planning this fic: “future Leo is just so much fun because he's spent the past 22 years demonising his past self for starting the apocalypse but then when he travels back in time to the day it happened so he can stop it, he realises his past self was just a dumb naive kid who had no idea of the potential consequences, so future Leo decides to be gentle with him and it's the only self-love he's ever had because he's always hated himself a little”. As well as “Leonardo trying to break the cycle by being kind to his past self (while still hating his current self) makes me want to put him in therapy and I think makes Dr Delicate Touch want to use him as a piñata”.

this family can bear any weather, 30k, rated G

When Donnie gets his hands on the Arc Capacitor after the events of Out of the Shadows, he decides to repurpose the tech for his own use. Unfortunately the first test run doesn't go well, and he's accidentally transported to a different dimension. His first thought is to find the new reality's version of Donnie, so they can work together to find him a way back home, but while trying to find their lair, he finds a much different version of his brothers instead. At eight, nine, and ten years old, the young turtles are hopelessly lost in the sewers beneath the city, and their only chance at getting home is Donnie. Between finding a way to get four lost turtle kids back to their dad, and finding a way to get himself back to his own reality, he's got a lot to do. AKA the Rise/Bayverse crossover that exactly nobody asked for but I'm writing all the same. Updating Fridays.

Clever Girl, 50k, rated T

A year after defeating Commander Krang, the turtles discover that the Foot Clan intends to bring Shredder back to life. Hoping to stop this plan before it begins, they travel to a secret base, looking for the intended project head, Baxter Stockman. They find the base, they don't find Stockman, and more important than either of those things, they find dinosaurs. Four turtles, four Utahraptors - what could go wrong?

or if you really want a long read, one of my favourites:

two's company, three's a crowd, four's a love story, 91k, rated T

post-BOBF canon Din Djarin/Omera/Cobb Vanth/Paz Vizsla

There’s some BOBF spoilers/references in here, and it's set post-show, but tbh you probably won’t be able to tell canon from headcanon unless you’ve seen the show and know the difference already. Boba, Fennec, the Armorer, and Luke Skywalker make brief appearances in a few scenes. Anyway this is just me in denial of Paz’s BOBF characterization and the fact that Cobb and Omera have only existed for like 15 minutes total in live action. Welcome to my immense amount of headcanons! The majority of this fic is from Din's POV, but there's also a few chapters each from Paz's, Omera's, and Cobb's POV.

[samstree]

the valley will bloom again

(obikin, 3k, a little sickfic as writing exercise, also on ao3)

Obi-Wan drifts in and out of sleep with worry lodged in his heart, in a bed that is too warm for comfort.

The Force is heavy from the sickness in the room, and his dreams are troublesome, interrupted by the occasional coughs. There are two distinctive sounds to them, one small and quiet, from a three-year-old child unfortunate enough to catch the blue fever from a playmate. The other hoarse and much more labored, shaken out of scarred lungs, and often followed by a warning beep from the respirator.

The Force keeps him alert even in dream. Obi-Wan registers every cough, every sniffle from his two Skywalker boys.

He senses Luke’s sickness, like a tiny bundle of misery, curled next to Anakin’s steady, protective aura, unaware of the quivering in his father’s signature. The blue fever hits adults equally hard, if not harder when it comes to Anakin and his half-broken lungs.

Even with rounds of surgeries and reconstructions, the Sith’s tortures left a mark on their lives, the Force lightning leaving more than the physical scars on Anakin’s torso. The oxygen tube under his nose and the respirator clipped to his belt serve as a constant reminder. Even after three years and buried deep in his grave, Palpatine still won’t let them live in peace.

Sweat clings to his undershirt when Obi-Wan wakes up from another beep from the respirator, the machine resting on their bedside table, doing its job and pumping air into Anakin’s chest dutifully.

He is alert in an instant, and realizes that he has slept for way longer than expected. The morning light shimmers under the curtains. Another sunny day on Naboo is about to start.

“Blast,” Obi-Wan curses quietly.

He didn’t mean to sleep all the way until morning. Both Anakin and Luke need to take the fever reducer twice during the night.

“Hush, he’s finally asleep.”

Anakin’s voice is barely a whisper when he answers, wrecked by the coughing and exhaustion.

Obi-Wan blinks away the last remnants of sleep from his eyes to find Anakin facing away from him, lying on his side and curled around Luke’s sleeping form. He props himself up on one arm, and rests the other on Anakin’s shoulder to check on both of them.

Luke’s head is pillowed on Anakin’s arm, right above where the durasteel hand connects to the flesh arm, his face pressed into Anakin’s shirt. His eyes are squeezed shut, the little brow furrowed with discomfort, but the unhealthily red blush has faded from his round cheeks. Obi-Wan brushes back the messy, blonde hair on the boy’s forehead gently to feel for his temperature. Luckily, the fever has gone down during the night.

But there are tear streaks from the corners of Luke’s eyes, his lashes still wet and quivering.

“Oh, my sweet darling.”

Obi-Wan’s heart clenches at the sight. He reaches out in the Force, sensing lingering fear around Luke’s small but bright Force, and sends a wave of comfort.

“He had a nightmare,” Anakin says, before a heavy exhale. “Cried for half of the night and finally went back to sleep when I held him.”

“And I slept through all of it. How did I not wake up? I…” Obi-Wan curses himself again. He finally shifts his attention to Anakin only to find dark circles under his eyes. “Oh, dearest, did you sleep at all?”

Anakin only squeezes his eyes shut for a moment to swallow down a cough, but it ends up shaking his whole body. His flesh hand rests on Luke’s back, rubbing small circles when the boy stirs from the sound.

The rises and falls of Anakin’s chest are labored even with the help of the respirator. The breathing tube is dislodged from one side of his face, so Obi-Wan rights it on instinct, tucking it in place behind his ear.

“I’m fine.” Anakin shies away from Obi-Wan’s touch when he tries to feel his forehead. “It’s the little ones that need fussing. Thank the stars Leia didn’t catch it.”

Obi-Wan reaches out to the other twin, just to be sure. He closes his eyes to brush against Leia’s healthy Force signature on the other end of the estate. She’s soundly asleep in the opposite wing, in the same room as Padmé. Too often the twins will sense it when the other is sick and develop symptoms out of nowhere, purely through their connection in the Force, but not this time, luckily for them.

“You are right. She feels healthy and rested. Light in the Force. She’s happy, darling, so don’t worry.” Obi-Wan lets out a relieved sigh. “The blue fever only got the two of you, it seems.”

“Next time when we arrange a play date with Nautolan children, make sure none of them has a runny nose. Who would have thought aquatic species are natural carriers to—”

Anakin lets out another cough, and one leads to another, and another. His breaths come out short and irregular, the muscles in his chest trembling as the violent coughing fit wrecks his body.

“By the gods, Anakin.” Obi-Wan touches his forehead and sweat-soaked curls, startled by the heat of his skin. It’s like being in contact with a small sun. “Your fever is getting worse. ‘I’m fine’, he says, while burning to death from catching his son’s cold.”

Anakin sucks in a shuddering breath, his lips turning into the beginning of a smile, ready to retort, only to wince from another cough. It dies down slowly, the small, tired wheezing sound still here and there, dragging short puffs of air in and out of his chest.

Obi-Wan knows he’s fussing, his hands panicking and unsure of what to do. He ends up stroking Anakin’s back as he regains control of his breathing. The respirator beeps again, a warning for hyperventilation.

“I’m really fine,” Anakin insists, the idiot that he is. His voice is raspy and laced with pain.

Obi-Wan has decided that Anakin will be his third favorite Skywalker today.

“Sure you are, only dying from a plague, like it’s another ordinary day. Now get up.” He shifts away, gesturing for Anakin to sit up. “I will get you a fever reducer and a muscle relaxant. We don’t want the muscle spasm to come back. Something to help you sleep, too. You’ll feel much better after proper rest.”

Stubbornly, Anakin shakes his head, still trying to soothe a still-asleep Luke with sweet murmurs.

“I don’t want Luke to wake up.”

“He didn’t wake up from you hacking up a lung. He’s not going to wake up now. Come on, I’ll take him. He can sleep on my side while I get you something.”

Obi-Wan throws the cover out of the way and pads around the bed. He bends down to press a kiss to Anakin’s damp, burning forehead, but even the gentle touch seems too much, making him shy away with a small whine. The fever must be making his skin sensitive. He also kisses Luke on his mussed hair, and gathers up the child in his arms.

“No, wait.”

Anakin is reluctant to let go, even though he is in no shape to put up a fight. His fingers are trembling. In the Force, Obi-Wan can sense the wave of love coming from his sickly, shivering aura, wrapping around Luke protectively. He really shouldn’t exert himself like this, but looking at Luke’s little face, who could blame him?

The boy murmurs in sleep “Obi…?”

“Yes, Luke dearest, it’s me. I’m right here. Hush now, it’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

Obi-Wan puts the warm bundle of a child over his shoulder with one arm, rocking gently as he rounds the bed, returning to his side. He pats down the pillow and nestles Luke in all the soft things, waiting as the boy falls back into deep sleep again. The tear tracks are still on his face, but there is no longer any sign of discomfort. He adds to Anakin’s Force signature and sends his own love to the boy, guiding him into a healing rest.

“There, see? Children are more resilient than you think, Anakin. He will be fine in no time.”

“I know, it’s just… He had a dream.”

Anakin stops himself there with the effort to sit up, his brows scrunched together at the creaking in his bones. Even the simple motion leaves him breathless, nearly toppling to the side.

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan shakes his head, equal parts exasperated and worried. He rushes to the other side of the bed again, catching Anakin’s swaying body. “Do you feel dizzy?”

For a few moments, all Anakin can do is take in one breath after another, the mechanical sounds of the respirator following each one. He nods, in the end, looking like he’s about to faint. “A little bit.”

“Of course. Only a little bit and don’t need my help at all.” Obi-Wan sits by the edge of the bed, taking most of Anakin’s weight, letting him sag against him. “What am I going to do with you?”

Anakin huffs humorlessly, resting his head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, their thighs pressed together. The tube has fallen from his ear again, and Obi-Wan tucks it back in place. “I’m your least favorite today, aren’t I? I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Nonsense. You were my least favorite yesterday, too. And tomorrow, if you are still this stubborn.”

Obi-Wan pulls away to observe Anakin’s complexion, heart aching at the sight of his flushed cheeks and glassy eyes. He thought he had learned to live with all the health complications that followed the battle with the Sith, but with every flare-up, every relapse, it’s like they were back in the Halls of the Healing again from all those years ago. Not knowing if he could lose Anakin any second, if his barely-there breathing would simply stop.

He won’t. Obi-Wan berates himself silently, the fear in his chest washed away by guilt. They are here, and he won’t lose Anakin. Not from a simple fever.

He adjusts the oxygen tube again, checking that it’s not obstructed in any way, just to be sure.

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin croaks, lips parted from the difficulty in his breathing. “You are fussing again.”

“Right.” He shakes out of any ill thought and pulls out the drawer of their bedside table, digging into the bottles of medication. “Let me get you the fever reducer.”

“And the muscle relaxer. I feel the spasm coming in.”

Anakin clutches the shirt at his chest, his durasteel fingers holding on tightly with each breath. His brow twitches, the subtle signs revealing what he won’t admit.

“It’s already started, you mean,” Obi-Wan sighs, pressing a hand over Anakin’s chest, feeling the tight muscles under his palm. “How long and how bad? On a scale of one to ten.”

“It started on and off during the night. Just got worse about an hour ago,” Anakin winces. “And it’s… a four?”

Obi-Wan sends him a look.

“Fine. A six.”

So Obi-Wan pours two capsules from one bottle into his hand. He opens another bottle, counting four pills, and then one more from the third bottle, and another two capsules from the last one. The motion is so familiar he could do it in sleep. Taking care of Anakin is second nature, after all.

He finds the glass of water left there last night, still half full, and helps Anakin down the pills two at a time.

“I can take it myself, you know?” Anakin coughs between swallowing. “I’m not actually a plague victim from the operas.”

“And your performance has been so convincing.”

His hands are shaking around the cup, so Obi-Wan never lets go.

With the fever reducer in his system, along with the painkillers and muscle relaxer, Anakin leans back with something akin to relief on his face. He’s doing the slow blinking thing he sometimes does, the one that says he’s moments away from falling asleep.

“How’s the pain?” Obi-Wan asks, gently messaging the spasming muscles in Anakin’s chest. The right side is a lot worse than the left today. He can feel the quivering in the taut muscles, the fluttering of Anakin’s heartbeat. It’s too quick for his liking.

“Getting better.” Anakin sinks into the pillows, head tilting to the side towards his son. His flesh hand is playing with the boy’s hair absently, taking a strand of golden lock and twisting it between his fingers. His face suddenly contorts with anguish. “Luke dreamed of Tatooine again.”

Obi-Wan pauses. “He did?”

“He doesn’t know where it is, can’t even describe the place properly, but every nightmare is the same. The twin suns, the sand, the never-ending desert.” When Anakin looks at Obi-Wan again, his eyes are red-rimmed and brimming with tears. “In every one of these dreams, I’m not there. He is always on Tatooine, looking for me, and I’m not there. He’s so scared, Obi-Wan. Why am I not with him? Why—why did I leave him there alone?”

“Darling. It’s just a dream.”

Tears stream down from the corners of Anakin’s eyes, and Obi-Wan hurries to wipe them away. He ends up with Anakin in his arms, sniffing softly and leaving a damp spot in his shirt. Luke turns towards his father, as if sensing his distress, his little face pressed against Anakin’s hand.

“No, it’s not like that.” Anakin shakes his head. “He has never been to Tatooine. He’s never even seen it. How could he know what it looks like?”

Obi-Wan soothes Anakin’s heartbreak with a kiss pressed into his curls. The fever must be muddling his mind, amplifying the worst fear in his mind.

“The Force works in mysterious ways, and he’s already so strong in it, Anakin. Perhaps, he sensed it from your memory.”

“Or, maybe his dreams are like mine. Not dreams at all.”

Something cold sinks into Obi-Wan’s gut.

“Oh,” he says, after a beat.

Being alone, stranded on hot, desolate Tatooine. It could be Luke’s future, simply manifesting in his dreams.

Obi-Wan has to look at Luke’s sleeping form, reassuring himself that their child is still sleeping in their bed, in his mother’s family home. Yes, he is here. He is inseparable from his sister, loved by both of his parents and by Obi-Wan. He is doted on by the Naberries, and somehow by the Organas whenever they visit. The boy loves Ahsoka, and he loves Rex. He has never not asked for many hugs whenever he sees them.

All of this is their reality.

“Dearest…” Obi-Wan sucks in a breath, looking down at the despair in those beautiful blue eyes. He catches another tear in his thumb. “If that is a possibility—”

“It can’t be.” Anakin sucks in a pained breath. “I won’t let that happen.”

Fear is clear in his voice, masked as a willful promise.

Obi-Wan lifts his legs from the floor and fully settles into the bed, with Anakin resting on his shoulder. He runs a hand through sweat-damp curls, and soothes Anakin’s fevered skin with soft caresses. Fear is also a dangerous thing. It reopens old wounds and makes them bleed anew.

“I know you are determined to protect your children, Anakin, and I feel the same way. You must believe me when I say I would gladly give my life to protect Luke and Leia without hesitation. They are the best things to ever happen to me, and my standards are high—I was once given a boy half made from the Force itself.” Obi-Wan sighs. “But you must not fret over a simple nightmare, something that should remain what it is. A dream is just a dream.”

“What if it’s not? You always say he is too similar to me.”

Obi-Wan has always said that with pride, about Luke’s strong will and his gentleness, the blue of his eyes and the sunlight in his hair. He never thought it would be the cause for the pain in Anakin’s voice right now.

“Oh, but he is, dear one, and I love him for it. So do you, when you are rested and seeing things clearly.”

Anakin hums, nuzzling into the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck, his weight settling, growing heavy in Obi-Wan’s arms. “I don’t want him to be like me. Be like Padmé, or you. Not me.”

“I don’t know,” Obi-Wan whispers to himself. “I’d be quite proud, honestly.”

A full night’s worry and exhaustion must be catching up to him, because there’s no retort for that. Obi-Wan keeps on holding him, shushing and murmuring sweet nothings.

His Skywalkers all love to fall asleep the same way—being held and comforted. While Anakin drifts off slowly, Luke has also shifted his little body to curl against Anakin’s side, poking out his head from under his father’s arm. With a tired mumble, Anakin makes way for his son and holds him in place, the three of them ending up cuddled together.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin breathes out, a small cough bubbling up. His eyes are still closed, breaths warm and limbs heavy. “Promise me…”

“What, dear?” Obi-Wan tucks away a wayward curl.

“That they are free. They were both born free, promise me.”

Their room is silent apart from Luke’s soft snores and the sudden hammering of Obi-Wan’s heart. He reminds himself that his little family is safe and sound, tucked against his side in their bedroom, and the war is over.

Yes, the war is over.

“They are free, I promise.” He presses a kiss on Anakin’s forehead, their Force signatures tangling around each other’s while sleep drags Anakin under, soothed and content at the answer. “So are you, dear heart, and one day, you just might believe it.”

[kavvueh]

To Form Connections

by @kavvueh in collaboration with @airu27-rkgk for @hkvhrevbang Beta'd by Leia and @msafk See Airu's art here!

The fic is complete! To Airu and my betas, thank you, thank you, and thank you - that's thrice! :> A snippet of the final chapter is below. Enjoy!

“Eremites,” Anatoly said. “At least a dozen of them. We’re trapped.”

“Do they look friendly?” Lukyan asked hopefully.

Anatoly shook his head. “They saw me and unsheathed their weapons. One of them - I think she must be their leader - she barked something out. Couldn’t hear it from here, but this isn’t good.”

Had the Tanit arrived home, after all? All signs had pointed to their demise, though… Were these Eremites the ones who had wiped them out?

“We’ll have to fight our way out, then,” Kaveh said. “Quickly, we need some ground before they close in.”

The Fatui nodded and Kaveh led the way, dashing out of the entrance, looking around sharply. Before Kaveh could fully assess the situation, Lukyan lifted his gun and took aim, shooting at an Eremite woman nearby - Kaveh supposed she was the leader Anatoly had mentioned.

She moved to dodge, but an Eremite at her side grabbed hold of her and then they suddenly shifted, winking from one spot to another in a spark of green light.

Something shone at the edge of his vision where they reappeared, and that was all the warning they got - Kaveh had just enough time to summon his claymore to block the weapon hurled at them. 

“Careful, sir!” Anatoly took up position at Kaveh’s right, and Lukyan fell into step on his other side. 

“We’ve got you covered!”

Kaveh’s eyes landed on the handheld weapon that skittered across the sand at his feet. Took in the distinct curve of its blade, the design that curled along its pommel.

He turned, in what felt like the slowest movement of his life, to face the direction it had come from.

He took in the form of the man draped in Eremite armor a short distance away, exposed strong arms tensed in focus, braids woven through his gray hair. A piece of fabric obscured his eyes, but as Kaveh narrowed his own, the Eremite pulled it back.

Their eyes met, and even though he could not hear the scoff the Eremite let out, he saw it in how his shoulders shifted, and knew the sound of it all too well. Panic welled inside of him; this was the worst-case-scenario. (There was, also, a wriggling thing in his heart that bloomed warm at the way those hazel green eyes narrowed in recognition, even from the distance that spanned between where they stood.)

“Hold your fire,” he whispered.

“What?”

“Hold your fire!” he said louder. Lukyan and Anatoly both let out confused sounds, but he lifted his hands to indicate peace, letting Mehrak whisk his claymore away.

“Alhaitham!” he yelled across the divide. “You…! You are going to be the death of me!”

[andydrysdalerogers]

Troublemaker ~ Chapter Ten ~ A Leap of Faith

He is one of the best goaltenders in the league. He's also hated by his teammates. He didn't mean to be a troublemaker but why not lean into it? There wasn't anyone to stop him.

Until he met her...

A Jeremy Swayman AU x OFC Stella Williams

Story Warnings: excessive drinking, SMUT!, an asshole Jeremy, angst

A/N: Hello and welcome to a spin-off "Cross-Checked" so plenty of characters from that story are crossing over here! If you want a more detailed story of how we ended up here, read the first store HERE Also! The taglist is open. If you want to be added or removed, please let me know!

Previous: A Fox in the Den

Please note that I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, or published anywhere other than my Tumblr. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Banners by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Stella 

The look of shock crosses his handsome face. He looks to Andy, who looks concerned, eyes bouncing between me and Kiley.  The GM clears his throat. “Let’s take it to the conference room.” He gestures to all of us, and I make sure Kiley is dragged in there. Every one of us is seated at the table but I stand.  

“I have evidence that Kiley Winters violated the privacy clause in her contract.” I connected my phone to the projector.  “This is the photo that appeared.” I click to the screen shot of her comment.  “This was the comment of the person who claimed to be the photographer. And this is her Instagram page.”  

“That doesn’t prove I took the photo,” Kiley protested. “I was joking.”  

“I thought about that,” I said looking at her. Then I pulled the email I had gotten that morning. “From the author of the article of the Boston Globe. Confirming that she was the photographer and was paid for her information.”  She visible shrunk in front of me.  

Karma is a bitch.  

I turned to the general manager. “Sir, while I understand why certain things happened, this proves that the photo was taken out of context and Jeremy’s private life was now very public. That’s not his fault or anyone other than a disloyal employee.”  

“You’re a bitch! You’re just doing this because I slept with your boyfriend! It's not fair that you could be hooking up with the hottest guy on the team! It should have been me!” 

I don’t think she realized her words until a half second later. I should have taken a picture.  

“Wait, no, that’s not... what I mean was...” 

“I think we understand exactly what you meant, Miss Winters.” The GM pinched the bridge of his nose. “We will be discussing this after this meeting.  Felix!” He called for the security officer outside.  “Please escort Miss Winters to my office and make sure she stays there until I arrive.” Felix nodded and the GM turned to me and Jeremy. “Is what she said true?” 

I swallowed hard and Jeremy spoke. “Yes, it is. But we followed protocol.” He produced a relationship acknowledgment agreement. “We submitted it to HR a couple of weeks ago.” 

My mind was racing. I didn’t remember signing anything, but Andy winked at me and now I was confused. Did Andy sign this form for me? Andy looked and mouthed “Leia”, and I understood. They found a way to help us at the last minute. 

“Well, since this is on the up and up, there is nothing I can say except to keep it out of my arena. Jeremy, I am reinstating you back to the team. I’m sorry that we didn’t investigate this further at them time but I’m glad Miss Williams had your back. Take the rest of the day and be back for morning skate.”  We all turned but he stopped me.  “Miss Williams, a moment.”  

Fuck, am I still screwed?   

He waited for the door to close, and I saw Jeremy’s look linger on me. That was a conversation I wasn’t looking forward to. “Yes sir?” 

“I know Kiley wasn’t your hire and she was already here when you took over as director. What happened?” 

“My ex decided to step out on our relationship. I didn’t retaliate other than just making her do scut work.”  

“I see.” He clasped his hands. “That was commendable. Anyone else would have taken out their anger on her. But how should I handle this?” 

I stay silent for a moment. “I’m not sure I’m the best person to decide that, sir.”  

“Another good answer. But if it didn’t involve your life?” 

“She would be fired. She violated her contract in the worst way. We must protect our team so they can focus on winning.” I huff out a breath and waited.  

“Did you know that Jeremy essentially told the entire team that he’s in love with his girlfriend? Coach felt terrible sending him home, but it was part of his contract that he keeps in line.”  

“I didn’t know that. We haven’t been speaking.”  

“I see.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe that was something he should have told you, but I felt like it was important. He’s a good man Stella. And I understand that what Kiley has put your through might have messed with your head a little. Take the day. I’ll handle things from here.”  

I’m still a little stunned by his words. Jeremy loves me. He loves me and I pushed him away. God I’m the worst.  

“Stella?” 

I snap out of my head. “Sorry. Thank you.” I got up and walked out in a daze.  

“Stella?” 

I looked to see Jeremy right in front of me. I could see the sleepless nights and worry etched in his face. Worry that I had put there. How could he want me when I absolutely abandoned him when he needed me? “I can’t do this,” I whisper.  

“Stella, baby, I…” 

“I can’t do this,” I repeat louder. “I’m sorry. I just…” I spun around and basically ran away from the man I knew I loved too.  

I didn’t stop at my office. My keys happened to be in my pocket, so I just booked it to my car. I couldn’t be here. Not when the image of his broken face still dancing in my eyes. I almost made it until a hand shot out and grabbed me. “Stella, stop!”  

Andy gripped me. “Andy, please just let me go.”  

“Leia would have my head if I let you drive like this. C'mon, I’ll take you to see your favorite person.” He guided me into his car and took me back to his house. Tears streamed silently down my face. “Are you ok? “ 

“You didn’t have to do that. You didn’t have to find a way to make our relationship ok.” 

“Yes, I did. I owed the two of you that much.” He gave me a side smile, but it just made me sob harder. “Stella, what is it?” 

“I broke him. I didn’t believe him.” My chest shakes with sobs I can’t let out.  

“Stella, he going to be ok. You talk to him and it will work out. I promise.” 

“He loves me, and I ended everything. I don’t deserve him.”  

We make it to the house and I’m out the door and into Leia’s arms sobbing. She shushes me and walks me into the house. Andy gives her the rundown as I lay on the couch, my head in her lap. I guess I fell asleep because when I open my eyes it’s dark out and Leia is walking around with Avery.  

“How are you feeling?”  

“Like I threw away a good man.” I sigh as I stare up at the ceiling. “I knew that it was a bad idea.”  

“What?”  

“The friends with benefits. I knew one of us would end up hurt. Who knew that I would be the one to break both of us.”  

“Stel, I know you think that, but I think if you just talk to Jeremy…” 

“I can’t Lee. I can’t face him after what I’ve done. I don’t deserve him.”  

She walks over and places Avery in my arms. “Do you think that after Bret I felt like I deserved the angel in your arms or Andy?”  

“You do deserve them. You’ve been through so much. You deserve someone like Andy.”  

“And you deserve someone like Jeremy. “Avery let out a coo as if she agreed with her mother. “See even Princess Avery agrees with her momma.”  

“What do I do Avery? Do I talk to Uncle Jeremy and tell him that I love him too.?” 

Avery cooed while Leia gasped. “Do you really?”  

“Yeah. I think I do. But I’m scared something like this might happen again.”  

“It might but it’s a leap of faith to be with the one you love? The one that  would embarrass themselves just to see you smile.”  

Jeremy 

She ran away from me.  

You would think that would hurt enough but no, it didn’t cut like her words did.  

“I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” 

What did she mean by “I’m sorry.” She hadn’t done anything wrong.  

I sat in the lobby of the arena for a while. I didn’t know where to go. The only place that kept popping up is Stella’s. To be back in her arms. To make love to her over and over again. It had been five days since the day she sent me away and two weeks since I had been inside her. It was making me crazy. I needed her like I needed air.  

“Sway?” I looked up to see Brad and Linus looking at me apprehensively. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah,” I said without any confidence in my voice. “I got reinstated.”  

“That’s great,” Linus said with a smile. But it immediately turned into a frown when he saw the look on his face. “So, what’s wrong?” 

“She won’t talk to me.” I looked at ground. “She said she couldn’t do this and that she was sorry, and she ran away. She found the proof that I wasn’t fucking around, and she still won’t talk to me.” I sat back with my eyes closed and started to bang my head off the wall.  

“Jer, c’mon, don’t do that,” Brad said, pulling me away. “If she doesn’t see reason, is she even worth it?” 

My body heated at his words. Worth it? Yes, she was. Given the chance, I would worship her every day. She completes me in a way I didn’t even know I needed. I’ve been wandering and floating through life but now, she makes me want to be a part of the world.  

“She’s worth everything.”  

I don’t remember how I got home but I find myself in my apartment with a bottle of beer and Linus looking at tape of the Maple Leafs. I can see the play, but I have no idea what it means. My face must convey that so Linus pauses. “I know you miss her, but you still have an obligation to the team.”  

“I know.” I take a swig of my beer. “I just want to talk to her. Even if she doesn’t want me anymore, I just want to tell her that I’m sorry and that I would never do that to her.”  

“Maybe write it out? Even if you don’t send it, you can get this off your chest.”  

I mull over his advice. I can put it out in the universe and then I can play may hardest from there. So, I sit and I write.  

Dear Stella,  

My warrior princess. Still fighting to protect yourself. 

I know that the pictures are confusing and upsetting.  I know you know the truth. I know that what Kiley did is unforgivable. Please know that I have not, nor will I ever, cheat on someone that I love.  

Yeah, I said it.  

I love you.  

I love you so fucking much that not having you here with me makes my heart ache. Knowing that I hurt you, unintentionally, makes me feel like it's the end of the world. I had just gotten done telling the boys I was in love with my girl. I want to tell the whole world that I’m in love with my warrior princess.  

I don’t know why you won’t talk with me, but I won’t push. I don’t want to force you into something that will hurt you. If you want to talk, hit me, scream at me, just tell me when and where.  

I love you, Stella Williams.  

You own my heart.  

Yours always,  

Jeremy 

The next three games are an exercise in what I can only call as warfare. The rivalry is deep between us and the Maple Leafs. But Linus and I have our team’s back. Austin Matthews may have one of the best shots in hockey, but we have the advantage. The defense has made sure to shut him down and any shot that does get through is stopped with enthusiasm. Linus and I continue to switch off games and it works.  

Somehow, writing the letter helped. Even if it didn’t get her to talk to me. Yes, I sent it to her email. I just wanted her to know how I felt and if that doesn’t do it, I can always resort to groveling and bribing.  

I’m not above it.  

Its game 4 and my turn in the net. We come out to warmups and the people on the glass cheer for us.  I try to get in the zone, not waiting to fuck up the 3-0 lead we have over the Leafs. I bend and stretch out, getting limber. Just as I turn to head off the ice, a big red sign catches my eye,  

Swayman, you sway me every day ~ S 

Now, I have seen hundreds of signs from fans, some very cute from kids and others less savory from women trying to get my attention. This one, however, piques my interest. I skate over to where the sign holder should be and stop a few feet from it.  

Because the sign holder is Stella.  

She lowers the sign and turns around. She’s got my name and number on her back. She’s wearing my jersey.  

I skate up to the glass as she turns. I don’t want to have this conversation in front of everyone. I take off my glove and press my hand in front of her.  She presses her right back, and I see the smile I have missed for weeks. I pull away and tap my heart three times.  She mimics and I know she understands.  

I shut out the Maple Leafs.  

After celebrating the win with the boys, showering and the press conference, I head back out to the tunnel, looking at my phone to see if there is a message from Stella.  

“Hey goalie, looking to score?” 

I lift my head to see my girl leaning against the wall. I smile and walk over to her. “You’re here.” 

“I am.” 

“I missed you.” 

“I missed you too.”  

“I’m so sorry.” 

“I know. I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for not hearing you out and leaving you when you needed me.”  

“Its ok. I know it looked bad. But I just need you to know that I just want to be with you.  As Jeremy and Stella, not friends with benefits.  As your boyfriend. As yours.”  

I see a small tear slide down her face. “I’m trusting you with my heart, Swayman.” 

I cup her face with both of my hands and thumb away the tear. “I’ll protect it better than the net, baby. I love you.” I kiss her softly.  

When I let go of this kiss, her eyes take a moment to open. And then she tells me three words that I have been wanting to hear for weeks. “I love you.” 

“Come home with me?” 

“Every day.”  

The ride to my place is taking forever. But I have her hand in mine as I drive us home. We could have celebrated with the team but tonight, tonight I wanted to lose myself in her. Walking up to my door, my self-restraint crumbles. I press her against the door and kiss her. And I’m home. I press my whole body into her so she can feel what she does to me.  How much I have missed her.  

“Jeremy,” she pants, trying to breath, “we have to go inside.”  

“Don’t want to stop kissing you.” I lean down to kiss her neck and shoulder, listening as she sighed in pleasure.  

“We can’t give your neighbors a show, baby, please,” she pleaded with me.  

I bent to grab her behind her thighs and wrap her legs around my waist. She giggled as she was taller than me know and could control the kiss. I fumbled with the door as she assaulted my neck with kisses and nibbles. I growled when she bit a little harder and got the door to slam open. I kicked it closed and walked directly to my bedroom. I toss her on the bed and she shrieks. “Jeremy!” 

“Oh no, not what you call me, sweetheart.” I crawl on top of her, and she pulls off my tie. She works my buttons as I continue to work her neck. “Say it.”  

“Don’t wanna,” she moans as I nip at her neck. She tries to continue with my buttons but instead I grab her wrist and pin them over her head. “Say. It.”  

“Jer,” she whimpers. Ah fuck, she said it and I slide down her body. I unbutton her jeans and peel them off of her legs. She’s in pale green lace and I recognize the pair. I reach up to help her out of her shirt and yep, she is in the matching bra. It was the same one from that first night. I slow down as I kiss her sweet skin.  

“Why?” She whines and I chuckle.  

“You’re wearing the same set from that first night. I remember,” I whisper in her ear. I dip my finger in her panties, and she moans quietly. “I want to enjoy it.”  

“Jer, you’re teasing.” She looked up at me with her gorgeous eyes. I want to cave and give her everything. “I need you. It's been too long.”  

Fuck, she’s got me. I pull off her panties and then her bra so I can enjoy her skin for one more minute. I sit up and grab at the back collar of my shirt and pull them off. I unbuckle the belt before Stella move to undo my pants. Her fingers danced across my abs, and I shuddered. She pushes my pants and boxers down and she bites her lip in anticipation. “Missing me?” 

“Every day.” She grips me and I hiss. I’m so hard and ready. I reach over for a condom, and she stops me. I turn to look at her. “I’m on birth control and clean.”  

“Are you sure?” I swallow. “I get tested every month and I’ve never been bare before.”  

“I trust you Jer. I love you.”  

“I love you.” I line myself up and I look at her again, wordlessly asking. She nods and she closes her eyes as I push in. Holy fuck, she’s warm and tight and wet and I think I have transcended. “Oh god, baby, you feel incredible.”  

“Jer, baby, so big.” I can feel her shaking in my arms. I lay myself on her, so she has some pressure to release the adrenaline that is running through her.  

“Breathe baby, just tell me when,” I whisper. “I love you, its ok.”  

She takes a minute. “I’m sorry, I just...” 

“Its ok, taking everything in me not to come. You feel so good. Are you ready?” She nods and I pull back and thrust back inside. Her back arches slightly as she moans. “You like, pretty girl?” I keep it slow and steady. No need to blow my top off before I get her there.  

“I... oh god, Jer, baby, fuck I need more,” she cried. Seeing her beg for me was something I wouldn’t take for granted.  

I press my hands next to her head and my forehead touches hers. “I love you. I think I loved you that first time. And its only gotten stronger. And I know it's too soon, but I just need you to know that one day, I’ll ask you to marry me. I’ll make you my wife.”  

A choked sob came out as I fucked into her hard. I didn’t need an answer. I just needed her.  

After, as she curled against me and my arm was wrapped around her, I thought about the past six months. I went from the team’s troublemaker to Stella’s man. But I wouldn’t change any of it. Hurting Leia is regrettable but then I wouldn't have found Stella.  

“Jer?” 

“Yeah baby?” 

“I just want you to know that when you ask, I’ll say yes.”  

Fuck. Yes.  

I lean over her. “I love you, my warrior princess.”  

“Love you too, my troublemaker.” 

Six weeks later – Stanley Cup Final – Game 7 

I’m buzzing in next. There are two minutes left and we’re up by one. The Kings have pulled their own goalie to try and tie up this game. I watch to my left as the ref drops the puck and the Kings are on the attack. Their center shoots and I get my blocker up and the puck flies right. I slide to block another shot but leave my left side open. Another shot, but this time, Andy dove in front and blocked it. Luke managed to get the puck away but not to ice it. My team raced to the other end and as the buzzer sounded for the end of the game, time stopped.  I saw Stella with Leia and Miranda and Avery. Stella banged on the glass tears streaming down her face as she screamed her happiness. I tapped my chest three times before my team tackled me to the ground.  

And I knew my life was complete.  

Epilogue

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[padme-amitabha]

I just saw a post calling ahoska and obi wan anakins truest loves and uh what? It brought up the mortis arc of tcw and essentially minimizing the anidala love for one another as some form of escapism and how its poison ( even tho vader literally gets saved bc of luke - padmes son🙄) Its so strange how ahsoka fans want to make her a more prominent character than she really is. Also a recurring opinion that gets brought up is ahsoka knowing/understanding anakin better than padme and obi wan when she didn’t even know things about him (like he was a slave) and we consistently see anakin confide in padme its just so odd how alot of star wars fans diminish her

That doesn't surprise me at all since Star Wars is Ahsoka Wars at this point. And even if it wasn't, you have to give the Skywalkers at least some rest uk? The constant retconning and addition of new stuff most people didn't even ask for is tiresome. Ahsoka from the start felt very OC-ish to me because she was constantly hyped and favored in a way not even Anakin was. She felt like a self-insert jedi character so her place is canon is just weird. And forcing her to be important in places where she's not needed just shows Filoni's favoritism. At least GL wasn't ever really biased towards Anakin and Luke. Anakin mainly suffered through so much and had enough flaws and complexies which Ahsoka never had. She's constantly in a plot armor and just overpowered imo. But ofc she's a badass Jedi so she is more popular than Padme. I cant even.. I just hate the way TCW and Filoni wrote her. I don't see Anakin as being a big brother to anyone. Or being a teacher. The only other natural interaction he has except Padme and his mother is with Obi-Wan and even that took time. They didn't get along well in the first two movies and although he does joke around with Obi Wan in ROTS, he has his own slightly awkward and shy way of doing it. And I imagine he's semi reserved and shy with other Jedi. Or when we see him interacting with Padme's family. But to make him a responsible master is strange because even in ROTS he was too young and not mature enough to be level-headed and responsible all the time. And I like that because he has flaws but he was trying to learn and wanted to be a good father. And I do believe he really gained that maturity (which was stunted due to obvious trauma) and fatherly affection for Luke after ESB and not before. I think he would have had trouble connecting with Leia as well post ROTJ because he wasn't prepared to and had no experience being a role model for anyone. Meanwhile, 22 year old TCW Anakin with Ahsoka acts like a 30 year old man with anger issues...

It's also frustrating to see Padme being reduced to a love interest when she was a main character and part of the trio. She, like Han, didn't need to be a Jedi to be one of the main characters and it's boring to see a trio of Jedi only. I don't really blame Ahsoka fans - only Filoni for constantly dragging her into everything and I'm glad it's backfiring because I see fans who previously liked her are beginning to get tired of her being shoehorned into every single SW thing and acting all Mary Sue. Also, see the amount of concept arts and storylines they wrote for Padme during the prequels. She had more arts than Anakin and Obi-Wan. GL clearly wanted her to be important even more than Leia in ANH because we see much more of Padme and the first movie directly involves her and her planet with Anakin's discovery being a sideplot. It's disrespectful to reduce her to a love interest.

This video puts it really well (although he isn't a fan of the prequels as far as I can remember): "Dave Filoni's biggest problem as a writer apart from his complete inability to write interesting dialogue or craft stories that are more than just fetch quest for Magical McGuffin or create people who actually make smart decisions or his borderline fetish for the boring mediocre character he's trying so hard to insert as the driving force behind the entire Star Wars narrative is his constant [ __ ] around and reconning of past events and World building to suit the needs of his own narrow story. It's like he's staying in a hotel room for a couple of days and decided that he now has the right to completely remodel the place because he feels like it. This isn't your job Dave you're supposed to work within the rules of the world that George created not write a whole bunch of new ones just to suit yourself that now affect everyone else."

Lol applause for saying that out loud

[purple-ant]

thank you for tagging @bolithesenate 💜

The rules: post snippets from at least one WIP you have abandoned! 

i have a lot of abandoned WIPs, mostly ideas that i didn't feel the energy to pursue before losing interest and right now i'm writing on syku and beautiful comments energy so i don't think i'll be going back to them anytime soon or ever. the language in some of them is very... meh

but i really like this one! 

Title: galaxy in veins

Description:

The Force binds everything, it is in the stars and their dust that forms the bones of sentients throughout the galaxy. The Jedi, connected to and drawn to the Force, carried more starlight within them than was normal in the eyes of the rest of the galaxy.

They say that even the stars go out, but how can one live in a galaxy where they are extinguished?

———

Bail knows how stars are born. How huge molecular clouds, disturbed by the surrounding space, shift and hydrogen particles press together like starved lovers. Closer and larger, until they reach collapse and begin to fall apart under their own heat. From decay comes heat, from which life is born. Not at its epicenter, but somewhere outside, not close enough to harm, not so far away as to remain indifferent.

Bail sees the birth of two, and that is all he knew and nothing else.

Padmé is a friend, ally, leader. Stellar nursery. Her heavy breathing and screams hit the walls of the room, are scattered across parsecs of space, and the asteroid rings shake as the medical droid methodically carries out its work. And now, light years later, the universe exhales, two stars illuminate the cold vacuum. Their first cries are solar flares, causing the devices to stutter. Bail can hear them even through the glass, but Obi-Wan on the other side doesn't flinch.

Padme gave all of herself to the galaxy and her last gift was a binary system. Luke and Leia.

Bail walks like a moth into the light and finds Obi-Wan. He sits hunched against the wall, in his arms there are three hundred stellar masses, no more than six kilograms. Sparkling and shimmering wings, like in a kaleidoscope, fill the room, and shadows fearfully gather outside. Nebulae pour from too many eyes, and Obi-Wan swaddles the children in them. 

“We need to hide, kids,” Obi-Wan says. His voice pulses, lost in Bail's consciousness, but Luke and Leia watch, caught in the attraction. Again, too many eyes. “They are looking for light, and you are so bright,” and he hides them behind interstellar clouds, green and orange silks, too expensive to buy. “Close your eyes, like this.”

And the piercing lights dissolve like fog, the light of the wings is absorbed into the skin, hiding in the constellations of freckles. Obi-Wan exhales, turns his gaze to the children, who are too small, gods, they were just born. But maybe it’s the Force, maybe the reality of the danger that awaits beyond the hands of the Jedi, but gradually, like lanterns in the morning, the brown whirlpools disappear, the blue ones follow them.

“These too, young lady,” Obi-Wan says sternly, with a ghost of a smile, running his calloused fingers over her soft cheek. A second passes, the worlds go out. “Well done, great job, lights.”

The galaxy is spinning, the moment is passing, the children are screaming. Obi-Wan, very tired, very human, throws his head back.

“Let me save you,” Bail unfreezes and approaches the Jedi.

“Please, Bail,” Obi-Wan’s voice is hoarse, but he is in no hurry to part with either twin.

Okay, Bail can do it. He kneels in front of the Jedi, reaching for the two screaming packages.

“Your crude matter needs rest,” Bail says softly.

His friend's mind would not be at peace now. But one day, in a year or twenty, it will happen. Bail knows because he knows Obi-Wan. Not ten years, not even five, but he was there at the most desperate moment, when even the emptiness of space receded in the face of darkness, and Obi-Wan's light shrunk to a single candle. But he burned, stubbornly and against all odds. It was then, on Zigula, that Bail was pulled into his orbit.

Obi-Wan looks at Bail's hands, then at the twins. He doesn't even have the strength for consolation - the latter was laid on the obstetric table by Padme, and he is so tired of fighting with his friends. Obi-Wan slowly hands Leia and Luke over to him like crystal, and Bail accepts them like treasure. The warm supernovae in his hands continue to attack his eardrums. Perhaps the constant bickering in the Senate has made him a little less sensitive to such frequencies.

Bail leaves the room, the meddroid has prepared milk mixtures - hydrogen for the combustion of tiny blue stars, but lingers in the doorway. Turns around. The shadows return to the room, breaking through the flimsy defenses of the electric lamps, and Obi-Wan appears among them as part of the equipment. Another device that has served its purpose and is now hidden under the tarpaulin of the cloak.

“On your way, continue, senator,” it sounds next to him, and Bail doesn’t jump. His burden is too important for him to afford.

“Master Yoda,” he greets the Grand Master of the destroyed order, but his gaze is still focused on Obi-Wan.

“Care of young Obi-Wan, I will take. The younglings need your attention now.”

Bail wouldn't call his friend young. Too old for his years? Maybe. A red giant from which the outer shell was torn off, like armor, leaving it as a white dwarf. An eternity of dim light.

Bail turns his gaze to Master Yoda. He looks as old as ever. Like the one who saw the birth of the universe, held young galaxies, and then, at one moment, only planetary nebulae from dead stars remained on his old wrinkled hands.

“You are right, Jedi Master. Thank you.”

Bail walks away slowly enough to see Master Yoda approach Obi-Wan, brushing off the settled cosmic dust, and the ruined bastion shifts, gnarled fingers reaching across light years to touch another survivor.

Despite everything, there is still light in the galaxy.

———

no pressure tags: @man-i-dunno @calcedon79

[veloursdor]

based on this au where anakin died in childbirth and obi-wan is left alone to raise the twins, but he can’t bear to be near them without breaking down because he misses anakin too much.

aka neglectful father widow-wan

(1.2k words)

“There must be something wrong with me, since Father loves everyone, but he doesn’t love me.” - Luke and Leia, circa 12 years after their birth.

Leia was trying her best to prove to everyone around her, but especially Father, that she was meant to hold a lightsaber and that she had what it took to train as a Jedi. She was standing in front of the Council – various Jedi Masters, padawans and younglings alike –, trying to show her progress regarding her forms. She knew about the multiple sabre forms there existed, but the one that suited her the most was Form V, Djem So. There was something about the fluidity of the form that allowed her movements to flow naturally though her, connecting her with her lightsaber like no other form did. 

As she practised her movements for the entire room to see, the idea of spinning her lightsaber with a little twirl made her giggle, thinking it would look so cool when she did that. However, half way through her twirl, the sound of the entrance door opening stopped her in her tracks, making her see just in time how her father walked away from the room without looking back. She felt her heart break as the doors closed behind his back, tears scorching her eyes while she tried valiantly to hold them back.

“Thank you, Leia Skywalker, for a wonderful demonstration,” Master Windu said with a kind smile before motioning Leia to step away from the mat, allowing another youngling to take her place. Luke’s smile – bright and enormous as Leia showcased her progress – had dimmed with their Father’s departure. Luke hadn’t shown his progress to the Jedi, nervous about their Father’s approval. “Now, young Ezra Bridger, step forward.”

“I see you’re making progress with Djem So, young Leia,” Master Koon said to her kindly after she had sat down between him and Luke. She smiled as best as she could at the old Master, even though she knew he was lying to her. Because if she had truly done a ‘wonderful job’ that showcased her ‘progress’ with Form V, then Father wouldn’t have walked away from the presentation without casting a glance back at her.

She continued to disappoint him, no matter how hard she tried.

“Excellent form, young Ezra,” Master Windu said as Ezra stepped away from the mat, high-fiving Knight Dume with a bright smile on each of their faces. 

Leia’s insides burned with jealousy at the sight, knowing she would never get to share a moment like that with her father. She was better than Ezra in every possible way, yet Father had the time to share a praising word with Bridger for his ‘achievements in class’ and never for her.

“Luke Skywalker,” Master Windu’s voice called for her brother, making him jump. Leia eyed him curiously as Luke stepped forward, a lightsaber that wasn’t the one he had made after their trip to Ilum clutched tightly in his hands. 

It was beautifully crafted, with a ridged hand grip and a solid casing, something in it causing Leia’s insides to hurt at the sight. She had never seen that particular lightsaber before, but there was something about it that was achingly familiar, and called for her.

Ignoring the weird feeling inside of her, Leia saw her brother attempt and fail to perform Form III – Father’s form –, before his movements naturally morphed into Form V. She rolled her eyes at his obvious attempt at copying her, clearly trying to impress their absent father. 

“Luke Skywalker!” Their father’s voice echoed throughout the room, startling her from her musings and causing Luke to drop the lightsaber he was holding, a bright smile on his face that dimmed down and died the closer their father got to him. 

“Where did you get that?” Father asked her brother once he reached him, before taking the lightsaber from Luke’s hands and clutching it tightly to his chest. “This doesn’t belong to you.”

“I… I found it in your room, Father,” Luke said, his voice shaking alongside his body, as he looked at the floor with embarrassment and shame. “I… I know we’re not supposed to go there, but…”

“Don’t ever touch this again,” their Father said with finality before turning around and leaving the room as suddenly as he had entered it, leaving a deadly silence at his back. 

Leia could only stare in horror as Luke remained standing in the middle of the room, tears running down his face, his shoulders shaking with the strength of his cries. She looked around towards the Masters of the Jedi Council, hoping one of them would stand up and comfort her brother, rescue him from being the centre of all the pity she could feel through the Force.

But no one moved, and Luke continued to cry, silently for the entire room to witness.

“Young Skywalker,” Master Yoda started to say before Luke ran away from the room, the echoes of his footsteps muffling his cries. Leia wanted to go after him, comfort him like she always did whenever Father was too busy to play with them.

But she couldn’t move, a glimmer of hope that her Father would return and praise her for her forms made her remain in place. Luke will be fine, she mused to herself after watching Master Tano stand up from her seat and follow after Luke with a thunderous expression on her face.

That night, after everything had been said and done, Leia failed to fall asleep as Luke continued to play with his toy ship that Senator Amidala had gifted him on their last birthday, saying that it was something their dad would’ve wanted him to have. To Leia, she had given her a book on ‘Diplomacy and Politics’, saying that the daughter of the famous Negotiator should know how to traverse through lies and deceits with ease. 

Leia treasured the gift as if her father himself had given it to her, knowing that she could prove to him that she would be a perfect companion on his travels for peace negotiation treaties if she only studied hard enough.

But before she could plan any further about a future with her father – as Master and Padawan –, the door of their room opened, surprising her with their father’s face. He looked sad and apologetic as he always did whenever he was in their presence, his eyes barely looking at Leia before focusing on Luke, who was looking at their father with a yearning expression on his face.

However, Father’s expression broke down after he caught sight of Luke’s toy in his hand. His breath got caught in his throat – tears pooling in his eyes – and, without a word, he turned around and closed the door behind his back, leaving the twins engulfed in darkness.

“Well done, loser,” Leia said bitterly before turning her back on Luke to stare at the wall. “Now he hates us even more.”

She ignored her brother’s distress, focusing on her own breathing. Leia could no longer coddle Luke’s moods, as they only served to cross Father even further. She had to prove to her Father that she would be a great padawan for him, and in order to do that she needed to toss Luke aside and focus on herself.

Father would love her if she proved to him that she was better than Luke.

[starrymused]

@lannamused

To know how much time had passed since his death wasn't something Anakin was aware of. For all he knew, it could be months or maybe even years; time didn't progress the way it once did. However, he was able to sense his children no matter where they were. Luke and Leia.

He didn't quite know the extent of his abilities in this form and had only heard tales here and there of Jedi going through training so that they might one day attain such a feat. Anakin hadn't been trained in this and yet here he was. A mystery to work out when he could be at peace with his thoughts. For now, he had more important matters to attend to. Such as seeking out his dear ones.

Luke was close by — Anakin hadn't strayed far from his last location — and perhaps enough time had passed where they could have a proper talk about anything and everything. Luke deserved to know it all. Same with Leia, but Anakin would give her more space given her previous encounters with Darth Vader.

The Force guided Anakin to his son, a connection so strong between them that he was somehow able to clearly manifest in physical form in Luke's general vicinity. To test that he wasn't being delusional and that this was truly happening, Anakin tested the ground. It felt solid beneath his boots. A hand raised to his face, tentatively pressing fingers against flesh. Not burned or creased or sunken. It moved higher and he felt hair, the waves slipping between his fingers. He was his younger self again, unmarred apart from the scar across his eye. He'd been transported back to his self before he gave into the Dark Side of the Force. Did he deserve it? This leap back in time to a form free of the consequences of his own actions? Not in his opinion, but he was most grateful.

Pushing aside those thoughts for now — something he'd need to think of deeper at a later time — Anakin made his way to where Luke's presence was at its strongest. Would his son recognize him this way? Anakin had watched him as he and his friends celebrated the Emperor's fall, but he wasn't sure if Luke had seen him.

Lingering outside a small house, Anakin wondered if it was Luke's or if it was a safe house for the Rebel Alliance. Either way, he knew Luke to be inside because that's where he'd tracked him to. Rather than just waltzing in (although he was quite certain nobody else would be able to see him) Anakin waited, willing and urging Luke to sense his presence in return.

[ox-imagines]

I'm Yours (In This Life and the Next)

Pt. 2 | Zenji x reader/OC (Tokyo Debunker)

!! Major spoilers for chapter five of TDB ahead !! This part is set just before the events of the first part

Content warnings: mentions of death

Pain was the last thing he remembered. Pain, and Leia’s hand being ripped from him. There was no pain now, though. He was laying on some table, a bright fluorescent light flickering overhead. He recognized Haku and Yuri’s voices, and could hear the soft sniffling of someone crying. With a stretch, he sat up, glancing around. Subaru was standing at the foot of the table, his soft features clouded with grief, his eyes red and his cheeks damp. Haku stood next to him with a hand on his shoulder, speaking softly with an unusually regretful-looking Yuri.

“What’s wrong?” Zenji leaned forward, reaching out toward Subaru. Neither Subaru or Yuri reacted, but Haku’s sharp golden eyes flicked over, widening a bit before he schooled his expression back to a neutral one and faced Yuri again. “Haku! Why are you all ignoring me? Where’s Leia, is she okay?” He realized it was a bit odd that he didn’t even feel a bit sore after what had happened with the loose anomaly. Looking down, he gasped. He was certainly him, but he was also… separated from himself? “Haku… is that my body?” He was laying on the metal table, shirtless and bruised with a cloth covering him waist-down. “I look terrible! Why am I separated from my body? Haku, I know you can hear me, stop ignoring me, help me get back in my body!”

Yuri stepped over, grabbing the cloth and pulling it up gently to cover Zenji’s body. “I’ll leave you two now,” the boy nodded to the other two students, his aqua hair flipping over his eye, and he promptly left the room. Haku pulled Subaru into his chest, gently rubbing his back. Over Subaru’s shoulder, he made eye contact with Zenji.

“What… what’s happening, Haku?”

“Why don’t you go back to the dorm? I’ll text you when Leia’s awake,” Haku said softly, pulling away from his house captain.

Subaru just lowered his head, rubbing his face off with the back of his hand. “Okay, sure. I, I should probably tell the rest of the house what happened.”

“I can deal with that later, go get some rest.” Haku gave him a sad, empathetic smile, running a hand back through his green hair and turning away as the captain left. “Zenji?” he finally addressed his friend as he heard the door close.

“I knew you were aware of my presence! Please tell me what’s going on!”

“You’re dead, Zenji. I’m sorry. You’re hanging around here because you’re not ready to go yet, but…” he shrugged. “You can’t go back to your body, either; you won’t actually be alive again because your body is dead, you’d essentially just be puppeteering it while it rotted.”

“That sounds horrid, I definitely don’t want to do that.”

“Right.”

“You said Leia’s alive though, yes?”

“She is, she’s unconscious but should be fine.”

Relief spread through Zenji’s tensed form. “Oh, thank goodness. Can I see her? Will, will she be able to see me?”

“She has enough of a connection to you she should be able to see and hear you like I can, yeah. We have to be careful though, okay? I don’t know how long you’re gonna hang around this world like this, but if the academy found out, they’d have me put your spirit to rest.”

“I understand.”

“I can take you to the room she’s in if you’d like to wait there,” Haku tipped his head toward the door. “I have to go retrieve my flute and your biwa to do a little ceremony to help her see you, and should tell the other students about your passing.”

“Thank you, friend.” Zenji looked down. His hands were shaking a bit. He glanced behind him at the body on the table, his body. How odd. How overtly odd that the lifeless form under that sheet was his own body. He couldn’t say he felt much different than he did alive, yet that body was certainly proof enough that he wasn’t alive anymore.

“Zenji? You okay?” Haku, standing at the door, had turned to him, trying to get him to follow. “Sorry,” he laughed softly, a noise that was absent of humor. “Dumb question, of course you’re not okay. Come on. I’ll take you to your girl.” The silence between them was palpable, like some dark creature stalking along between them. Haku was particularly disturbed by it, unsure why until he realized he couldn’t remember a time where Zenji had been so silent. The other boy was wringing his hands, his jaw tight and his crimson eyes wide and glassy. More than anything, Haku wished he could reach out, to reassure his friend, but he doubted accidentally putting his hand through him would help him cope with being a ghost now. “Here,” he gestured to a door. “When I get back I’ll wait outside here until she’s up.”

Zenji cleared his throat and raised his head, mustering up a smile for Haku. “Thanks again. I’m beyond glad there’s someone around who can see spirits, I simply can’t imagine what I would’ve done if I was still tied to this plane and no one here was aware of my presence.”

“And I’m happy to still have you around. I’m just sorry it had to be like this. Now, why don’t you try to open the door?”

His hand passed through the doorknob.

“Really concentrate on what you’re trying to do, on your hand specifically and the handle. Try thinking of how the doorknob should feel in your hand.” Doing his best to be encouraging, Haku coached the new ghost through interacting with the door. After several fumbled attempts Zenji’s hand finally stayed on the knob. “There you go!” The other boy was silently grateful no one else had come down the hallway whilst he was helping Zenji, but it couldn’t be too soon to get him in the room so Haku could leave and pretend nothing had happened. “It’ll get easier to interact with stuff the more you practice, okay? Don’t expect everything to work the same right off the bat.”

Zenji bid the green-haired boy farewell with another thank you, attempting to collect himself before entering the room. The Mortkranken section of campus had always given him the heebie-jeebies; when there he felt uneasy at best, and downright disturbed at worst. There were so many wonderful pleasantries to partake of in life, and needles and medical procedures and dissected creatures were not any of them in his opinion. Leia was fascinated by it, in a way he’d always found a bit morbid, but approaching such subjects with her made it feel as if it were interesting, her excitement a tangible, living thing. There was a reflection of it in her artistic side: a collection of various bones arranged neatly on one of her shelves, her intimate understanding of anatomy and how she approached it in her art, and the way she portrayed such topics in her writing. Perhaps his unsettledness was derived more from the difference between her and the Mortkranken students. More often than not they seemed inhuman, their curiosity coming across as calculating and ruthless. Zenji couldn’t wait to get out of there, get back to the welcoming, drizzly mist and light wisteria fragrance of Hotarubi.

He pushed the thoughts aside. In either place, he’d just be happy to be with Leia. Focusing on the door and how he wanted to interact with it, he carefully swung it open enough for him to slide into the room. “Oh, my dear.” As Haku had said, she was still unconscious, though her vitals seemed steady from what Zenji could tell on the machine she was hooked up to. The side of her face was bruised and scraped with a bandaid centered on what he assumed to be the deepest portion of the scratch. She was mostly covered by a gown and blanket, but what he could see of her right forearm was also a veritable rainbow, pinks and purples and yellows and blues.

He moved quickly and quietly to her bedside, reaching out with both hands to take hers. When his hands slipped through hers, it was the last straw for his fragile state. Zenji didn’t cry often, hell, he’d managed to keep from doing so thus far even after finding out he was dead, but he couldn’t stand this anymore. A hot tear rolled down his cheek. Who knew a ghost could cry? His lower lip trembling fiercely, he sat on the bed, scooting over and laying along Leia’s side and resting his head on her chest. Or, he would’ve if he could feel her. As it were, he was more holding his head at an angle to where it would be if it were resting against her chest. It didn’t hurt his neck to keep it like that; a perk of having no real muscles, he supposed. “I’m sorry, my dearest. So sorry.”