#and how sad he is like he doesn't have a purpose anymore. he's afraid of losong the people that he loves

[aberooski]

so that surprise song mashup, huh

I AIN'T GOTTA TELL HIM I THINK HE KNOWS HE'S GORGEOUS !!!!! 😭😭😭

They are everything to me she has no idea but she did that for me I stg ✋😭

[strwberri-milk]

hiii :3 could i please request lads boys reactions to mc flinching during an intense argument 🖤

hello!! please read the request to make sure you're okay w the content - there are going to be the implication of something going on to make reader flinch during an intense argument but nothing specifically detailed

Zayne rarely gets riled up like this. He just couldn't do it anymore - he hated seeing the way you kept things to yourself and refused to listen to his advice when he just wanted to see you take better care of yourself.

He wasn't yelling at you thankfully but he was being much more confrontational with you. It's not until his hands come up to gesture mildly at your direction that you flinch, stepping back from him as you wait for his next move. His brows furrow, trying to understand what he just witnessed. When he puts together the pieces he's devastated that your response to him raising his hand is that he's going to hit you.

Zayne immediately puts his hand down, avoiding reaching out and touching you to worsen your reaction. You hate how pathetic you feel in this moment, unable to properly voice to him what's wrong. Thankfully he doesn't ask you - instead choosing to just let you come to him at your own pace. Thankfully you quickly come to him, knowing that whatever it was you were afraid of it's not actually due to him. You love him and you know he's going to take care of you.

He ends up spending the rest of the night telling you softly that he doesn't want to annoy you or anger you but he's just worried about you. The two of you have a good heart to heart that night, finding the perfect compromise.

Xavier also tends not to get very riled up. For whatever reason the two of you just couldn't agree, things escalating far past their normal threshold. Xavier tends not to be very physical when it comes to conversations but when he flicks his wrists in frustration, almost as though reaching for you you can't help but yelp and back yourself up against a wall, apologising desperately.

He has no idea where this came from, the confusion and sadness at your reaction stopping any sign of anger that he might have had. He offers his hand to you, wanting you to take it but also knowing he can't force you to take it. He's glad when you do, even if it took you a second, reassuring you that he's not mad at you, just at the situation. He wants you to trust him and you should know he'd never do anything to hurt you on purpose.

It takes a while but he'll also ask if you feel comfortable telling him what happened to make you react that way. The two of you talk about the situation and what to do in the future. He tells you that he'd never hurt you, ever and that you can trust him. All he wants is to keep you safe and protect you, he swears.

Rafayel is always very animated when he speaks and unfortunately this does end up being intimidating sometimes. You can't help the way you flinch when he steps towards you, his intention to be to try and get closer to you but the look on his face terrifies you. You immediately flinch, unable to look at him as he realises what's happened to you.

He's immediately on his knees in front of you, trying to get you to tell him what's wrong. The quiet feels awkward after all the yelling, but Rafayel is somehow always incredibly patient whenever it comes to you. He waits for you to tell him what's wrong and reassures you that he's here for you, not the other way around.

He'll hold you tightly through the night, reminding you that he loves you and he'd never hurt you. From there on he's very careful with how he deals with his anger and shows it to you, never wanting to make you feel that way ever again.

Sylus is aware he's intimidating but he never thought that he was intimidating to you. When a gesture of his makes you flinch back though he can't help but worry. He narrows his eyes at you, asking you what the problem is. Unfortunately, he isn't aware yet that this is just making things worse. You decide to try and leave, Sylus even more confused as he tries to understand what's happening to you.

You have to tell him that he's scaring you - beginning to scramble apologies much to his dismay. He immediately steps back a bit, telling you that you don't need to apologise. He wants to reach out to you though, clearly looking very conflicted despite his words. It takes you a second to clear your throat, telling him that it's okay and you just need a minute. You've never seen him this hurt before, the slight drop in his brows and lips makes it obvious how he's feeling, coming to him and apologising for your response.

He takes it well thankfully, telling you that you really didn't need to worry about him. He wants you to focus on doing what you think is right for you, never holding it against you. You have to convince him that you're okay with him and you trust him, choosing to confide in him why you reacted so strongly. He's glad you trust him, showing a more vulnerable side to you as thanks for doing so.

[love-byers]

(warning: long)

we should talk more about mikes choice of words in the rink o mania fight, or rather the writers choice of words

"You basically sabotaged the whole day!!"

sabotage

in case you need a reminder of what sabotage means

deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct

mike is not just saying will was being a douche for moping, rolling his eyes, and barely talking. he's saying wills a douche because he's doing it on purpose. not even just on purpose either, he's saying will planned this. will wanted to ruin the day. mike thinks will was out to get him by withholding his friendship. obviously will wasn't doing any of this, he just moped because he felt brushed off by mike and was ignored (or so he thought).

that kind of behavior, thinking the consequences of his own actions are a planned attack against him, is very consistent with the way he acted in s3 when el dumped him and he blamed it on max.

we can connect this directly to mike's apology where he calls himself a self-pitying idiot. the self-pity is mike allowing himself to believe it's not his fault that his day sucked, that it's not his fault will is acting this way. deep down he knows it's his own fault by purposefully brushing will off at the airport, but he was being so self-absorbed and self-pitying that he convinced himself it wasn't.

"why is this on me?? why am i the bad guy??"

so lets go through this again, inferring from mike's own words.

when will left hawkins, he felt weird. he'd just spent the whole summer trying to be grown up and acting like he didn't care about dnd anymore, shutting will down and really hurting him in the process, so he probably feels embarrassed that he now feels the exact opposite. he enjoyed spending time with max, lucas, and dustin but it just wasn't the same without will. he missed will so badly that the fact that will was barely reaching out got to his head, and he felt too insecure to find out for himself. he didn't know if will felt the same way or if he was doing fine without mike, making lots of new friends and enjoying life. he was afraid he'd lost will. then here comes el with her letters saying how life is awesome and they have lots of friends. mike probably thought, oh now i'm DEFINITELY not telling him how i feel. the letter about will potentially liking a girl was the final straw. wow. so he's occupied with some girl and thats why he won't talk to me. so now mikes determined to not give will an inkling of an idea that he's bothered or that he cares. psh, mike could care less. maybe when will sees that mike totally doesn't care he'll feel like he screwed up and he'll be super nice to compensate and win mike back.

so mike gets to lenora and hey, will, i totally don't care about seeing you, see how i dodged your hug? i don't care. then he sees the painting. maybe it's not for someone he likes, maybe it's for me. here you go will, opportunity one to win back my affection.

"Uh, what's that?"

"Um, it's nothing, it's just this painting I've been working on."

"Cool."

operation-act like i don't care: EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FAILED.

LOOK at his face bro. he looks heartbroken.

from here on mike just got more and more annoyed. will isn't trying to win him back, he isn't compensating for the months of silence. he's acting sad. he's acting sad? he has the audacity to act sad after he made all these friends and left me behind?? no, this is not my fault, this is not on me. it gets under his skin in a way he can't ignore. those feelings of guilt and annoyance that will is causing mixed with his months worth of self pity and convincing himself he's not the problem leads him to another thought. he's doing this on purpose. he's punishing me. this was his plan all along. he's trying to ruin my day for no reason, because i clearly didn't do anything to deserve this.

then angela shows up and humiliates el and mike, for some insane reason, uses this as an excuse to express his anger to will, even though it had literally nothing to do with will.

"You should've told me she was having trouble."

"Well, I didn't know they were gonna be here, Mike."

"Yeah, but you knew she was having trouble for like a year and didn't tell me."

in WHAT world is this will's fault?? he had absolutely no idea el was lying until that day. and mike is blaming him? no, he's really not, he just wants a reason to express his anger without having to admit why he's angry.

"Well, I didn't know she was lying to you."

"Is that why you decided to be a douche to her all day?"

her. he's hiding behind el's name. psh, what? i don't care that you weren't talking to me, it's because of el.

el just got publicly humiliated and mike thinks now is the time to get on will and act like el's biggest problem was will not talking to her?? no way. he just doesn't want will to know that these are his feelings.

"I wasn't being a douche!"

this completely sets mike off. how dare will act all innocent after what he did to me all day? any part of him that was trying to hide that will's behavior is bothering him has been completely overridden. will purposefully withholding his attention from mike has pissed him off soooooo badly that he can't keep it to himself anymore or hide behind el.

"You were! You were! You were rolling your eyes, you were moping, you were barely talking you basically sabotaged the whole day!"

yup, thats right will. i know exactly what you're doing and i'm calling you out on it.

"Well she was lying to you, Mike! Straight to your face ever since you got here! And...and I've been a total third wheel all day it's been miserable. So sorry if I wasn't...if i wasn't smiling."

third wheel? really?

"Yeah, whatever man."

"Well what about us?"

"What?"

i imagine this is where mike shits himself. i mean he literally stops in his tracks. will is directly addressing what he'd been trying to hide his care for the whole time, them. all of a sudden after all these months, he cares about us? and it's poking at that weird feeling he had, like he missed will too much. like he was feeling too much.

"What, you're mad that I didn't talk to you? Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say."

"That's just not true."

mike says that so fast it's like a knee-jerk reaction. of course he cares what will has to say. all he's wanted all day, and all this time for that matter, was for will to talk to him. and will is blaming him?

"You called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, Mike. Meanwhile El has like a book of letters from you."

now mike's defense is kicking in. he feels like will is directly picking at that feeling. the weirdness. the fact that he feels differently for will than the rest of his friends, even his girlfriend.

"That's because she's my girlfriend, Will!"

"And us?"

now the alarms are going off. he knows something. "us" for will in this moment is just their friendship. "us" for mike is something more, because that's what's been brewing in him the whole time they've been apart. internalized homophobia in 3..2..

"We're friends! We're. Friends."

"Well, we used to be best friends!"

oh. he was just talking about our friendship. i was tweaking a little bit. and...ouch. will just officially said they aren't best friends anymore. and he's blaming it on mike. but mikes defenses are still up high.

"Well...well maybe you should've reached out more, I don't know! But why is this on me? Why am I the bad guy?!"

then will is lost for words, and he just look sad. and as mad as mike is, he hates seeing will that way.

i imagine the day or two between this and his apology, mike went over this fight in his mind multiple times. and the more he thought about it, the more he realizes, ah shit. i was way too in my head and this was completely one sided. will wasn't plotting against me, i just felt so bad for myself i convinced myself i did nothing wrong. all this because i thought he found new friends and i felt bad for myself. and now i've lost my best friend and made him feel like all of it is his fault. i have to let him know it's all on me.

tldr: mike is weird and gay.

[this-is-chaos-magick]

Sorry for rambling but I can't just thinking about this and I need people to listen to me I see Wanda smut fics all the time but I can't find post about analyzing and appreciating her character ( I see other fandoms do it with their fav characters I want one with Wanda too) Everything about Wanda's character is making me so freaking sad like i hate that half of her fans only care about her powers and that she's hot... she's more than that..I know it's fiction and it's not that serious but she makes me insane

She has every reason to be angry and be a Villain. because she didn't ask to suffer she didn't ask to be powerful and when she try to do something good and she did, the government put her in the raft everyone acts like she throws the bomb on the building on purpose when it's the only way to save Captain America and everyone around them. People blamed her for her own suffering and blamed her for a tragedy she didn't even cause, She can never come home because the house where all of her happy memories is made doesn't exist. She tried do everything to prove to everyone that she is good and it's not enough. The girl who only wanted people to accept her, the girl who only wanted to be love, the girl who wanted to be good, wasn't good enough

Her and Pietro is trapped under the rubbles of her own house for 2 days, no cause I can't imagine what that must be like? They know their parents are dead. They don't know if they are going to survive. They don't know if someone is going to come rescue them. And when they got rescued. They probably did not have given the chance to grieve their parents. Her parents body are probably unrecognizable and were buried in a mass grave, They are force to grow up too quickly and they have no choice but to accept it.

The reason she ends up so checked out of reality is probably that horrible things keep happening to her, and she has no choice but to go "ok" and move on from that. The moment she first appeared, the way she behave and act it's obvious she have aggression issues and emotional maturity. She used to go to rallies and protests because the government of her country sucks, (shown in aou) and she grew up with her brother, who probably tried to do everything to stop both of them from starving to death. She joined Hydra because she thought she'd be doing something that would help her and her brother, she didn't join them because she agreed with them. ( It's literally implied that hydra is pretending to be shield and is recruiting volunteers)

She did not throw that bomb on that building on purpose; she's trying to save Steve and the people around her. She literally saved a lot of people's lives there, but people keep focusing on her mistake.

Wanda had done so many good things because she was good despite every reason not to. If she is "evil" from the beginning she would have not side with the avengers and just run away after learning Ultron's real plan

She would have not tried so hard to stop the bombs in Lagos if she did not care about other people's life. she save Natasha's and okoye's life, She did everything she could to stop thanos, she did everything the team ordered her to do.

She doesn't want to kill vision because she's afraid of being alone. Westview happened because she couldn't take it anymore. If She is evil she would have not the of people of that town go

"Why didn't she go to therapy?"

Girl, I don't think therapists in the "M*rvel" can help her. You know how people there react to her. If she goes to a therapist, it will probably make her worse. She wants Vision back because he's the only one who understands and truly loves her, and he treats her better than most people there.

She wants her sons back because they make her feel normal and human.They probably reminds her of her life when she is young before everything went horrible. And I don't want to her that "ThEy ArE nOt rEaL" bullshit, They are real to her, she gave birth them. She feels them kicking in her stomach, she touch them she cooks for them, change their diapers, made memories with them, they are not just objects or toys to her, they are her children, she gave life to them, they have souls, they just don't have a physical body

No cause Wanda is happy in Edinburg with vision, those are probably the times where she feels real happiness and thanos ruined everything.

If thanos didn't come, Wanda and vision will be have a real marriage and probably have adopted real children.

Wanda only want people to accept her, she only wanted to be treated like a human being, she doesn't care about being powerful. All of the crimes she committed happened because ever since she's a little she suffered, and I don't care if there are other people who suffers than her, people process trauma differently.

the way Wanda is influenced with something dark and evil and all of she ever wanted is to hug her sons again, she did not want to rule the entire universe she didn't want anything all she ever wanted is to be with her family

Wanda realize she have the power to do everything she wants (darkhold influ.)

that she has a will and that she can make her self happy and I love her for trying.b and I do think she makes stupid and horrible decisions, but so do I, and that's okay;

She's been a hero, a victim, and a villain. because the writers and the shitty universe she's in, don't know what to make of her they accidentally created a character with so many potential and they don't know what to do next and they just killed her off because they think she's not as important like the rest, and majority of her fans just cares about her powers, they only care that she can "solo" people hated Wanda's character because of that. People won't look deeper into her character because the people that claimed to love her also weaponized her. She is doomed by the narrative, ruined by her some of her "fans" and we might not see her again because the universe she's in sucks.

rahhh I am losing it over a fictional woman who has been dead for (?)2 years :(

sorry again for yapping to much I just love this woman so much, my English is not that great sorry if some words are use incorrectly and I am half asleep while typing this so sorry for typos... goodnight

[manicplank]

ok but hear me out

what would be the reactions of the pizza tower crew on being sent to the backrooms (i am being cringe on purpose)

Good question. This should be an interesting one.

Some of the links wouldn't work, so they're at the bottom.

Backrooms ඞ

Peppino: He would be absolutely TERRIFIED. He suddenly woke up in the middle of... Not nowhere, but somewhere... It looks like the restaurant, but something feels off. He can't help but shake the feeling that he's being watched... He's almost frozen with fear.

Gustavo: He's tired and confused. He's been walking down this hallway for what seems like forever. He hasn't seen any other rooms or doors yet. He's starting to get really nervous. There's a chair there, but he's afraid to sit in it. He keeps feeling like he's being chased, but nothing is there.

Mr. Stick: He's been trying to get to work, but his office door is locked, and his keys aren't working. He doesn't want to ruin his record of always being on time! He finally gets the door open and... Did someone change out the lights? It seems kind of different. Suddenly, he feels uneasy. He goes to leave, but the door is gone.

Pepperman: He wandered down a hidden staircase in an art museum. They told him they didn't have room for his artwork, but he saw the stairs and said, "How about down here?" He went down to find some very vague statues. Minimal art, nothing compared to his. He tried to go up the stairs, but they had suddenly turned to a painting.

The Vigilante: He doesn't know where he is. It's dark, and he's scared. He wandered off too far into the field at night, and now he can't find his way back.** He's been out there for hours, he's getting really tired. He's tried calling out for help, but his voice doesn't even echo. Somehow, he doesn't feel alone...

The Noise: Yay, a play place! It seemed super fun at first, but he's getting tired and can't seem to find a way out. His phone isn't working. He tried using the phone there, but that wasn't working either. He's starting to get scared and kind of sad. He feels lonely all of a sudden.

Noisette: She woke up in the morning in a room that was similar to the one she had as a kid. While it was similar, it wasn't her room. She was immediately scared. Where's Theodore?? Where is she? And why does it feel like all the Hello Kitty toys are staring at her?

Pillar John: It's not secret that John is a pillar and that there are iterations of him all of the tower supporting the structure. But oh, how he'd love to be a pillar anywhere else. Well, maybe not everywhere else. He seems to have found himself holding up support in an abandoned building. It's so lonely, and he doesn't know where Gerome is anymore.

Fake Peppino: Ooo, a pool! A big pool with (fake) lillypads! He enjoys swimming in the water and perching on the pads. He doesn't seem to realize he's in a reality between time and space. He could live here forever! But he's getting kind of hungry, and all the things in here taste like yucky plastic. Wait a minute... How come there's no one around?

Pizzahead: He stumbled in a room that looks like an arcade. How excited he was! At least, at first. But none of the games are working, and some of the ones that do have power only have a glitched out screen. Come to think of it, when did this room get in the tower? Wait, is he even still in the tower? Suddenly, the arcade has turned into a maze. He just wants to get out and go home...

Gerome: Sometimes, he wanders off into the abandoned rooms of the tower out of curiosity of why they were left. He walked into one that was almost empty with nothing but a pile of chairs that touched the roof. He turned around and left, almost as if he knew he wouldn't be able to leave if he stayed too long.

***

Vigi's room

Pizzahead's room

[jackdelroys]

[Stolen] with Abner Krill, because it sounds like it would be absolutely fucking lovely. Thanks friend 💜

you are so right nonny it would be lovely 🖤 im SO upset i had this aaaaalll written out and it got deleted. oh well, i hope this suffices. i took some liberty with the prompt here, so if you're not satisfied or it's not what you wanted please feel free to request again!

[ stolen ] a quick, stealthy, and impromptu kiss snatched in secret

IT rained in gotham at least once a day. if you could count on nothing else, you could always count on the rain.

you duck underneath the underpass of the subway rails, the tall tacks shielding you from the brunt of the shitty weather.

his hand is heavy in yours, but still you take care in intertwining your fingers with his anyways. he isn't used to such gentleness, he shies away from your touch, not on purpose but you still catch the way he flinches every time your thumb brushes along his knuckles.

he can't help but think about how you look so pretty there, glistening with the drizzle that the wind has carried to your cheeks. it makes his stomach churn and his heart flip, and he hopes you don't notice the way his pulse races. or maybe he does. because he wants more. and you do too, whether you say so or not.

but you're too kind to, and he knows this. so instead, he savors every moment he can with you. you're afraid of pushing him too far, too fast and you won't risk scaring him -- it's taken him so long to even get used to this -- so you resign to the simpler things, the things he initiates and finds himself comfortable enough to do. he revels in your feather light touches for now, even when he can't force himself to take that next step. even in the shitty weather. and especially when you're quickly approaching your doorstep, and he knows he'll have to return to his own downtrodden apartment alone.

the musing echoes in his mind, and the feeling of you is the only thing that pulls him from his swirling thoughts. his mood still dampens as you come to a stop. he's got sadness in his eyes, a sadness you've come to know very well, but could never parse. it breaks your heart to notice him. he notices your noticing, and his expression falls further.

he's wearing that face again. you say this.

“tell me what you're thinking, abner.”

he loves the way his name sounds on your tongue. he loves the way it looks on your lips. god, he wants to taste them so bad.

“it's okay,” he rushes. you look at him curiously.

“it's okay to -- kiss me. and other things. if you want to.”

he takes a deep breath, like he's about to go on, but doesn't speak again. he's waiting for your response. you chuckle, “do you want to kiss me?”

his head ducks momentarily, and when his sightline meets yours again he's already leaning forward to kiss you. he closes his eyes, because that's what they do in the movies. when you meet him halfway, he gasps.

then he hums -- it's not at all what he expected. it's stunted, and awkward, probably of his own doing, because he doesn't know what else to do or where to put his hands or how to move, but your lips are soft, and inviting and scary and sweet all at once but it's wonderful and they're so opposite his own he wonders for a second if he's even human; but you quickly remind him with the way you kiss him back so gently and he thinks for a minute that he'll never want to taste anything again except you until he pulls away sputtering, choking on the rain that's run down his face. you giggle, and wipe the rest away with the pads of your fingers and he ponders that maybe he's died until he sighs shaking against your mouth again and it assures him he's still breathing.

it's not the best kiss you've shared with someone, but it makes you feel warm and fuzzy and it's so uniquely him that you don't care. you don't want to watch him leave, now.

"you must be cold. stay a while, until you warm up at least."

he has half a mind to tell you that he isn't cold, not anymore, that every nerve in his body is on fire, and not in the painful way he's used to, but even still he wouldn't be surprised if in the next minute you told him that he's glowing hues from underneath his pale complexion.

but he doesn't. instead you lead him inside, but only after you promise to kiss him again, and to never let go.

[silverview]

I love your tlw thoughts sm!! :D

I'm on like my sixth rewatch currently and I've been curious about how Chas seems to handle the "Mick" situation and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on that in particular?

aahh thank you so much!! ❤️❤️ that's such a good question! i will say as much as i have to say about it (very incoherent i'm afraid) + then would be VERY curious to hear your thoughts on the matter as well

it makes sense to me that chas doesn't react to the mick thing straight away. well, he tries to deny/avoid it, appropriately enough. he internalises the stress of it to avoid making it joe's problem. not necessarily the right or smart thing to do, but i genuinely think he is trying to be kind & generous by trying to ignore it. when he finally brings it up, it's reluctant – apologetic, even. he only mentions it because he can't help it anymore. i think he dislikes being (or seeing himself as) the sort of person who always has to say what he's thinking. and he feels bad for bringing down the weekend.

so, focusing specifically on the confrontation scene, as it turns out i have a lot of feelings about that (i mean how could i not, it's such a good scene). it's serving an important purpose wrt chas's characterisation and, because it's a very well-written episode, it's all in service of making the final twist more painful

firstly: "i don't mind. it's just that we normally tell each other when we're flirting with someone, and we laugh about it." just to make sure you know it's not the texting someone else that bothers him, it's the possibility that joe could be keeping a secret from him. because oh how very OPEN and TRUTHFUL they usually are with each other! how they always tell each other everything!

secondly, when he finally works up the courage to confront joe about it, he is .... i want to say gentle about it. he's not angry, he doesn't even speak loud enough for joe to hear him. he's sad, vulnerable, apologetic & clearly ready to forgive; all he wants is the truth. he confesses his own kiss with another guy, even though he could easily have gotten away with not saying anything, which i think is particularly significant for once again underlining the value he's placing on honesty & openness. and he instantly accepts the explanation joe gives him with no evidence. } all of which to say:

essentially what we're seeing here is chas reaching a character development apex. literally in that confrontation scene i think we see the culmination of his personal journey over the past nine (or eighteen, or forty-eight) years, where he has finally become the sort of person who will handle this situation in this specific way. (draw a parallel with reaching the penultimate/"depression" stage of grief, where it falls in the episode.) in a different context, it might be something to celebrate. on the positive side, he is no longer the angry person he was 18 years ago! he no longer lashes out! he has learned compassion and is willing to take responsibility for his own mistakes! and to look at it through a darker lens: joe has finally finished manipulating him into the perfect victim! narratively this scene is the end of the road for chas, there's nowhere else he has left to go except his finale

when he finds out mick is a woman, he says: "i've never been so happy." :) that's how you know the end is nigh of course. the betrayal isn't brutal enough unless it comes at the exact moment of maximum contentment, trust, and love. essentially the whole mick ordeal is there to test his trust in joe, to make sure it's finally 1000% solid and ready to be exploded

– by that i mean the script put it there to test him as a narrative device, but i suspect it was also an in-universe test/game. you're telling me joe has maintained this elaborate deception for years, and now suddenly he's leaving his phone lying around? he was doing it on purpose, to set chas up for the "worry -> relief & Peak Happiness -> ultimate betrayal" pipeline. absolute mad lad. someone capable of that has got to be INCREDIBLE in bed. makes you wonder what other little games he set up to torment chas over the years

[valiantstarlights]

[Priest Hob AU sequel] Some Months Later, December 24, Evening.

Tagging @alexxuun because they deserve credit for the AU. 😊 I can't tag the anon who requested a sequel in an ask, but here you go! I hope you like it. 🖤

--

"I don't...I don't understand." Hob clutches at Dream's arm when he realizes where Dream has transported them. "Why are we here?"

'Here' was the corridor they got married in, months ago by now. Nothing has changed. The fourth window left of the door was still cracked, and the tile near the first pillar was still placed unevenly. Time has passed, surely, but Hob doesn't know the time difference between Hell and Earth. For all he knows, only a few minutes have passed since he was last here with Dream.

"To pray, I suppose," Dream replies, sounding amused at his question. "Is this what being in my presence does to you, Father Robert? Have you forgotten the purpose of churches?"

Panic flared bright in his chest. "No, please, don't call me that. You know I'm not...I'm not that person anymore. I'm your husband now. Right? Dream?" His heart was suddenly beating so quickly. Dream was looking at him strangely, all traces of humor gone from his handsome face. "Why are we here? Have you...have you grown tired of me? Is this you returning me to my old life?"

No. No. Anything but that. Anything but the crushing loneliness, the prayers that ring hollow when he recites them, the misguided belief that suffering brings you closer to heaven. That it is worth being miserable your entire life, giving and giving until you have nothing left, for the sake of having a place in God's kingdom where it would be more of the same: worshipping an absent, indifferent being, the air filled with songs of zealous, nauseating praise, fake beatific smiles on the face of everyone you meet.

Hob would rather die than live that life again. He would rather starve in the streets and die a peasant's death than leave Dream's side. If his husband has fallen out of love with him--

"Hush, my love," Dream says, and then Hob is enfolded in his strong arms, Dream's dark wings also moving to shelter him. Hob immediately clings tight. If Dream wants him to let go, he's going to have to break Hob's arms first. "I am here. I will not leave you. You are mine until the end of time."

"Then why?" Hob asks against the rich fabric of Dream's robes. He still sounds panicked, short breath coming in gasps. "Why are we here? I don't want to be here."

Dream rubs Hob's back comfortingly, up and down and up again, sometimes brushing his long fingers through Hob's hair, until Hob calms down. Until he can breathe normally again. Hob doesn't know how much time has passed, but their surroundings are undisturbed and not a single person walks by them.

And then Dream asks, "Are you sure?"

What?

Dream sighs but continues his soothing gestures. "I know you miss it. I hear you hum sometimes, when your mind is focused on a task. Religious melodies. Christmas songs, of late. I don't think you notice it, but some of the staff do. Lucienne tells me you must have wanted to visit, but are too afraid to ask me." He leans away from Hob so Hob could see how sincere he looks, but all Hob reads in Dream's face is the sadness in his eyes at the thought of Hob not trusting him enough to tell him his wishes.

"I do not want you to think that you can never visit again," Dream tells him, soft and a little vulnerable. "I do not want you to think that by marrying me, you have lost your freedom." He looks around them, at the high ceilings and the tall windows. "And so here we are."

"Dream," Hob says as earnestly as he could. "It's just a habit. I hum when I feel like it's too quiet. It just so happens that the songs I pick are...well. But if you enchant a violin to play by itself and follow me around, I assure you the humming will cease, or if it persists, then it would be to the tune of Mozart or Bach or whichever composer you pick."

He places his hand against his husband's cheek and watches as Dream leans against it before turning his head to kiss his palm. Hob's heart breaks at the tender movement. How long had Dream been worried about this?

"As for my freedom," Hob says, "You did not clip my wings. You unbound them. And since you have, I have never felt happier. With you by my side, I feel like I can achieve anything. You opened my eyes and taught me better. Helped me unlearn all the false teachings I grew up believing to be true. You have made me into the best version of myself I could ever hope to be, and I would not have anyone else by my side. I'm glad I'm spending my eternity with you."

Dream's eyelashes flutter in pleasure at his words before he leans in and gives Hob a soft kiss on the lips. Hob returns it with a passion, wanting Dream to understand that Hob has already decided his fate, and that he has chosen Dream. Will always choose him. Each and every time. Hob needs him to understand that. But how..?

An idea forms in his mind, and as soon as their kiss reached its natural conclusion, he pulls Dream towards the church proper.

"Hob?"

"Come, husband," he says, still filled with a giddy kind of joy whenever he says the title. "I want to make something clear to you."

Dream follows him.

A few moments later, the two of them stand in front of the door that would open to the main hall of the church.

"Is it empty?" Hob asks.

"Yes," Dream says. "The midnight mass won't be starting until later this evening."

"The midnight mass?" Hob repeats in shock. "Is it already Christmas Eve?"

Dream nods.

"Good," Hob says firmly. "Even better." He opens the door, and indeed, there was no one inside.

Hob marches them past the rows of votive stands, past the carved wooden pedestal holding the lit advent candles nestled upon a wreath of evergreen, and right up to the altar. Then, with only a moment's worth of hesitation, Hob shoves everything on the altar crashing down on the ground: the book stand, the large Bible it's holding open, candelabras with unlit candles, and a couple of flower vases. He winces as the objects make a dreadful amount of noise, the water from the vases seeping onto the pages of the Bible, the heavy book stand crushing the flowers, the candelabras dented in a couple of places, the candles placed upon them rolling across the floor.

"Is there a point to this destruction?" Dream asks behind him, sounding adorably confused as to why his usually mild-mannered husband is acting this way.

"No," Hob says, then turns back to Dream. He wants to see his husband's face for this. "I just wanted to clear the altar for my offering."

"Your offering?"

Hob starts to strip, and Dream immediately shuts his mouth, eyes darkening as he understands what Hob is trying to do.

"I am offering myself to you," Hob says, and starts reciting Dream's many titles. "--King of Dreams and Nightmares, One of the Seven Rulers of Hell, and my beloved husband. I would have you stake your claim on me in front of all the angels and saints, right at the altar of the god I used to worship."

Dream stares at him, now fully naked and slightly shivering from the cold air, his nipples pebbling. "You do not know what you're asking for, Robert Gadling," he says, though if the echo of Nightmare's voice tainting his is any indication, then Hob knows exactly what he's trying to do. "This would be unlike our marriage. Offering yourself to me in this way..."

"Can I be any more owned by you?" Hob asks, genuinely curious. "Am I not offering you myself, body and soul, so in the future you will not do stupid things like think I would want to be away from your side? Away from our home?"

"You would be offering yourself body and soul to me, Hob, this is true," Dream says. "But you must know that in offering yourself to me the way you are planning, naked and willing upon an altar, you are also offering to bear my children."

"Your chil--" Hob gapes at him and looks down at himself, at his own body, which is still very hairy and very male. "You can get me pregnant?" He asks, only sounding slightly hysterical.

Dream nods gravely. "And now you see why offering yourself this way to me would be unwise. However, I have noted your intention, and will try not to do...foolish things in the future."

"And if I want it?" Hob asks, unwilling to leave just yet without being fucked here, in the place where he went through life like a ghost, upon the very altar he stood behind and spoke words of faith while having none in his heart. He feels his cock growing hard under Dream's eyes, the hunger in them barely restrained. "If I want to become pregnant with your child?"

Dreams eyes are turning so dark, it was like the stars in them have started to go out one by one. The end of multiple universes. "Hob."

"I am willing," Hob says. "And while I am no longer a virgin, I had been when you first--"

"You should not say these things," Dream says in Nightmare's voice, stepping forward into Hob's space. The shadows were gathering around him and slithering around Hob's feet like snakes. "Not unless you want me to fuck you pregnant in the house of your god."

Hob steps closer until his naked body is flush against his husband, precome staining Dream's dark robes, then leans upwards so he could kiss Dream's and Nightmare's fanged mouth. They nip at his lips and push him back against the altar, the stone cold and hard against his back. Hob moans and twines his arms around their neck, letting them lift him so he could sit on the altar. "Haven't you heard, my husband?" Hob murmurs against their lips. "I worship a different god now."

--

"More," Hob begs, an indeterminate amount time later. Dream's cum drips from his hole and onto the altar, but still Hob spreads himself open. "Again."

Dream kisses him lovingly and obeys. Half of his face is Nightmare and the other half is Dream. He only gets this way when he's feeling so much pleasure that both sides of himself come out to play. Hob loves him like this. Dream is generally a gentle lover while Nightmare prefers a hard fuck. But both of them at the same time means petal soft kisses from Dream while Nightmare chokes him with a hand around his throat as his cock jackhammers into Hob.

"Insatiable," Dream says in Nightmare's voice as he thrusts hard into Hob. It's good that the altar is made of stone or else it would have broken under their vigorous fucking. "Do you really intend for me to breed you here? Are you not going to be satisfied until my seed takes?"

Hob moans. Yes. That would, in fact, be the ideal outcome. He spreads his legs wider.

"And to think you had been a virgin when I married you," Nightmare says in Dream's voice, possessive and fond at the same time. "Your hole was so tight I had to spend hours with my tongue between your legs to loosen you up. And now your body knows my cock so well you can take me with minimal preparation."

Hob squeezes him as much as he could in retaliation, though it was a weak little thing, his hole already fucked sloppy and loose.

"What a slutty husband I have," they tell him. "Uncaring that at any point now, the deacons and the sacristans will be arriving to do last minute preparations. I doubt they'll have anything to say about the mess you made on the floor, not when they see a former priest of this church getting fucked like a whore right on top of their sacred altar."

Hob mewls at that, aroused beyond belief. He knows he probably shouldn't feel that way. How he should instead feel humiliation flooding his veins at the thought of being found in such a position by the people who used to respect him.

But oh, to be found pleasing his eternal husband, undeniably marked with his teeth and claimed by his large cock...

"Want it," he gasps. It was so hard to speak and his thoughts are a scattered mess. "Show. I'm yours."

"You want me to continue fucking you in front of them?" Nightmare asks, delighted. "You want me to laugh in their faces as they wield their wooden crosses at me when they try to banish me? Shall I bathe them in flame and watch them burn alive when they do?"

Hob doesn't care. He could barely remember them anyway.

"It is tempting," Dream admits. "I want to see the look on their faces when they realize that Father Robert didn't just disappear mysteriously, but was instead granted a better life. However," and here he grinds harder to emphasize his point. Hob keens, toes curling and legs shaking. He has lost count of how many times he came, but he could feel the pressure building in his stomach once more. He'll probably cum dry this time. Or totally lose control of his body and squirt all over Dream. It's already happened once. "I do not want anyone else to see you like this. Only I should have that privilege. Don't you agree?"

Hob nods frantically. Whatever his husband wants. Fuck, his cock feels so good. Hob wants him to fill him up more until he grows round with his cum.

"No, I think we'll just leave them a nice little Christmas present." And with that, Dream wraps his hand around Hob's cock and starts stroking him to the rhythm of his thrusts. Hob practically seizes, wailing, cumming dry, as Dream pounds him harder through his orgasm before shooting another batch of cum straight into Hob's newly formed womb.

--

When the first group of deacons arrive to make the final preparations for the Midnight Mass, the mess on the floor that Hob created is not the first thing they see. Nor do they notice that the altar was desecrated by a truly overflowing amount of both human and demon cum.

They would have noticed these things, but Dream kept his promise and left them his Christmas present, to help make the church look more festive at such an important time in their liturgical calendar.

He did this by covering every interior surface of the church, from ceiling to floor, and not missing a single statue, with fresh, bright red blood.

[shmackhaystack]

The Queen and Her Levi - Chapter 3: Welcome Home.

King!Levi Ackerman x fem!reader

Description:

"All my life I have never known what it was like to love someone, if anything, really. Until I met you, and everything changed, you brat."

"Reader" has a name, if you don't like it, then change it to your own, the world is your oyster.

Will contain VERY mature and triggering content. Viewer discretion is advised and minors please DNI.

Also on Wattpad. If you would like to message me please feel free! I would appreciate and encourage any feedback. Hope you enjoy.

[word count: 3.7k]

Prologue | Previous chapter

Chapter 3: Welcome Home.

Levi continued to look at his future wife with interest, attempting to read her emotions that are scattering through her brain. Normally, he could tell what girls that are looking at him are thinking. Sometimes he sees fear, most of the time he sees lust and attraction, overly polite and trying too hard to please him. Though when he looks at Asuna, he can't tell what she is thinking. He guesses it might be fear, confused at her inevitable future, one thing he could tell, is that she wasn't fond of him in the slightest.

 She wondered what would happen if she didn't walk out of that house when Levi arrived, it was fairly late in the afternoon. It was about the time where she is supposed to head to the nearby market to pick up dinner for her and her dad. If she went there instead, everything would turn out differently. God, if she had only just did that, she cursed herself under her breath. She felt like an idiot. If she was going to become the Queen of the Walls, how was she supposed to manage making the right decisions in her life?

Harrison couldn't handle it anymore, he wiped the coming tears from his eyes and walked away, grabbing his basket that he was holding before he showed up. Attempted to go back to continue to what he was doing around the estate. 

Dan wanted to do the same, but he knew that his daughter needed him most at this very moment, if he walked away, she would feel more alone than she feels like she has been for most of her life. He shouldn't have been so distant towards her, he shouldn't have chosen a bottle of liquor over her, he shouldn't have caused the outcome of owing a tremendous amount of money to the King just for his daughter to have to pay the price. He contemplated changing his mind and telling Levi that he can't take her and just to take him instead, to get on his knees and beg Levi for forgiveness and to please not take his only kid away from him. But he couldn't, it was too late, Levi was not going to change his mind. And with that, he went up to his daughter who still was holding onto Levi's hand with unease. 

She turns to look at him. She is no longer crying, just an expressionless look on her face that he also couldn't interpret. Levi allows them to have a moment to themselves and backs off, turning around to talk to Erwin and his other men who accompanied him on this trip that led to an unexpected turn of events. Dan grabs his daughter's hand and led her to their front porch to talk in more privacy. He didn't know what to say at first, he stood there with his mouth hung open with the hope that she doesn't think that he never cared for her. 

"You are going to be okay," He breaks the silence. "I don't want you to think for one second that I am doing this because I want to, if it was my choice, I would make it my life purpose to pay every dime I owe to him, but clearly, that's not an option."

Asuna didn't say anything, just continued to listen to her father's sad attempt at trying to make her feel better. 

"You're strong, the strongest girl I've ever known. I don't know how you managed to become the woman you are. Your mother, was weak and a coward, and that's why she left. And me? You have not met any of your other family members because I refused to acknowledge they exist, because I am afraid. I mean look what you just witnessed? It came to the point where I chose to give you to Levi before I could even think of my head being removed from my body or worse."

Asuna's tears begin to form again. She doesn't think she has ever seen this side of her dad before. She wanted to speak up and argue, but there would be no point. 

"You're going to make an amazing queen." Dan attempts to finish. "And... just remember that I love you, more than anything, I may have been a shitty father, but from the person I can see before me, the person you've become, I feel like I must have done something right."

And with that, Dan takes his daughter in his arms and embraces her. It takes her a few seconds to hug back, but soon she does. She silently cries quietly into his shoulder so that the man who will soon become her husband doesn't see her in such distress. 

Asuna was a kind soul, all her life she never did any wrong to anybody, even with her mom that she barely remembers leaving and not attempting to ever have a relationship with her, she still thought that she deserved forgiveness. She forgave her dad for everything, she knew he was troubled and that perhaps this situation would inspire him to change for the better. Without her on the estate to help anymore, maybe he would finally step up and fix his life. And she believed he would, with ever bone in her body. 

Asuna and her dad held onto the hug for what felt like several hours. She didn't know when she would see him again, or if she would ever see him again. Finally, the tall, blonde haired man with a Scout Regiment uniform on breaks the touching moment and speaks out. 

"My Lady," Erwin calls out. Asuna was not used to that in the slightest, perhaps he is calling her that because she is now officially a 'lady.' Oh god, what are they going to call her once she marries Levi? The thought gave her chills down her spine, yet she was slightly curious. "The hour is growing late, we should get going back to Sina soon. If you need time to pack some things, now is the time to do so." 

Levi continued to look at her. Arms crossed with his black blazer hanging over his shoulders, slightly leaning back against his horse, he waited patiently for her to get on with it, back her stuff, and get in the carriage to come with him. He eagerly wanted to get back to his castle and get her settled, dress her in the finest dresses, and show her off to the rest of the people who worked in the castle, and his subjects who desperately wanted to finally see him with a future queen. Eventually, she nods her head and proceeds to walk into the house to gather her things. Her dad doesn't follow her, he just nods his head at Levi and his men, sits back down on the porch chair where he normally lies in, and grabs the half full glass of whiskey that he had forgotten about from earlier. 

Asuna goes upstairs and walks into her room and closes the door, finally having a moment to herself to process what is about to happen to her. She will no longer be finishing her day in this room anymore, she will no longer sleep in this bed anymore, she won't have to wake up and tend to her father's land anymore. For the first time in her life, her future and what she will wake up to every day was completely unknown. 

After bottling up the emotions she felt inside for what felt like her entire life, she breaks down. She falls to her knees, palms covering her face and just cries. She attempted not to cry so loud so that anybody who may be listening and waiting on her will hear. Trying so hard to control her breathing and get control of herself, a few minutes pass by until she gathers herself, taking a deep breath as she grabs the suitcase that was laying underneath her bed, grabbed some of her dresses and soft cloth shirts and pants and put them in the suitcase. 

After she finished packing her clothes, she grabs a couple photos of her and her dad, some with Harrison, and the only picture that she has of her mother. It was a picture of her and her mom when she looked about 2 years old. Her mother looked so happy in the picture, holding her kid tightly as she smiled and laughed. Asuna looks at the picture a little longer until putting it in the suitcase. Lastly, she puts on the necklace that her father gave her when she was around 5 or 6 years old. It was a small, round pearl colored, 24 karat pendant with golden rose designs around it. It is actually a locket, but she never got around to putting a picture inside of it, so she just kept the totem close to her as a reminder that she was lucky to be born with a family. She kissed the pendant around her neck and hides it under her dress. 

"Taking your time?" a familiar voice says from behind her, startling her. She gasps and quickly turns around. Seeing no other than the man she is being forced to marry, Levi Ackerman.

"How long have you been standing there?" she replies, not answering his original question. 

"Not long, I was checking to see what was taking you so long, it is going to get dark soon." he says, walking closer. 

"Yeah, I was just, trying to gather as much as I could."

"Well, just letting you know that you don't need to bring much," he states. "Everything from clothes to daily things will be provided for you." 

She didn't know what that meant. Is he going to provide her with new underwear and bras too? Might as well give her a few face and body while he was at it. She nods, zipping up her suitcase and attempting to take one last look at her childhood bedroom. 

"Look," Levi speaks, which causes her to turn around to him with those glowing green eyes of hers that he was oddly attracted to so much. She eagerly waited for him to say what he was going to say.

"I know you didn't ask for this," he continues. "It is a really brave thing that you're doing trying to help your dad. I am attempting to process the fact you aren't doing this because you want to, but doing it out of the kindness of your heart to help somebody else-"

"You are not doing this for me either!" she interrupts. "You are doing this either because you have to, or you're trying to get back at my father..." 

He doesn't know exactly what to say, knowing that she is slightly right. Not having to worry about finding a wife nor worrying about Dan Reiss anymore. But the thing that couldn't escape his brain about all this was he didn't have to do any of this, he could have just killed Dan and went on his merry way. He couldn't help but wonder why he was so intrigued by Asuna or why he made the impulsive decision to stop the execution of Dan and marry his daughter. Maybe one day he will find the answer to his question and impulsiveness, but right now, he's just going to follow his gut. Silently ignoring what she said, he takes a breath and continues his statement.

"...and with that, I respect you. More than you know. I won't ignore you, I won't hurt you, I won't be unfaithful to you. After today, you won't just be my fiancee, you will be my future queen. There is no way around it, and I know you are smart enough to remember that."

He grabs her hand in his like he did earlier, but this time squeezing it, he looks back up at her and gives a slight smile. For the short time she has known him, she hasn't seen him smile before. From what she can tell, he seems like a miserable and frustrated man. Given a duty that he did not ask for by the hands of his uncle. A duty that he sometimes pretended wasn't real. One thing that constantly hung over his head for years was the fact that he needed to get married. He needed to produce heirs to continue the Ackerman bloodline. Now finally, he doesn't need to worry about anything anymore. 

She looks back down and nods her head. She was done processing it all, she was ready. And for the first time, she looks back up at him and gives Levi a soft smile, which warmed his heart a little. Picking up her suitcase and awaiting for his move so she could follow him. With that, Levi snaps his fingers and Asuna hears footsteps coming up the stairs. Suddenly, a man dressed in a Military Police uniform walks in and bows his head, reaching out his hand to Asuna's suitcase to grab it from her so she doesn't have to carry it. She has barely been Levi's official fiancee for an hour, and she is already being treated like royalty. She hands the man his suitcase as he carries it downstairs.

Levi, still holding onto her hand, lets go and steps aside so she can walk out first. "Come on, it's time to go, there is a carriage that you can ride in, it's about half a days ride from here, we should arrive by the late evening." 

With that, she walks out and heads to the so-called carriage that awaits her. She walks out of the house from what she feels will be the last time. With Levi following her. When she walks out of the house, she glances to her left to see her father still sitting in his casual spot on the porch, with his glass of whiskey still in his hand that looks like it has been poured recently. 

"I'll give you another minute to say goodbye." Levi says as he walks back to his horse, saddling it for departure. 

Asuna looks at her father as he stands up to give her one last hug goodbye, with his glass of whiskey still in his hand. Stumbling to approach her due to his drunken state, he slurs his words and smiles "I'm so so sooo proud of you, you're going to do such great things." 

As he tries to give her another hug goodbye, she slaps his arm away. With Levi turning to watch the whole ordeal in the distance. She refused to hug her dad at this point, she had already given him more hugs than he deserves at this point. 

"Now that I am not going to be here anymore to take care of things, I truly expect that you make sure that things stay managed around here," Asuna says with slight anger in her voice, and hopes that he will actually listen this time. "Cara, Fari, Gary, all of our kind workers and farmers that are nice enough to help tend YOUR land. And Harrison, you better treat him like he's your own and don't take his loyalty for granted." she finishes. 

Dan looks down and nods smiling, secretly proud of himself for raising such a strong and brave woman. She wasn't his little girl anymore, she was a grown woman who was soon going to be the next Queen of the Walls.

"Can you do that for me?" She continues due to his silence. "Can you promise me, dad?"

"Yes, honey, of course." He replies after a couple seconds. "I will do better, I promise." 

She breathes a sigh of relief. Smiling and looking at her dad for what will probably be for a long time, before she walks off to start her new life, she grabs the glass of whiskey that he was still holding in his hand and smashed it on the wood floor. Shocking Levi and everyone else who witnessed it. 

With that, she walks towards the carriage. Most of Levi's men already setting off, with a few stragglers and of course, Levi himself waiting for her. Before she knew it, a woman who she recognized when the whole debt ordeal went on approached her with enthusiasm. 

"Asunaaaaa!" the woman calls out to her, causing Asuna to stop in her tracks. "Sorry! I mean, My Lady!!! But soon to be my Queen! It is so nice to do the honor in being your subject, as well as your helpful guide to the start of your new life!" Hange holds out her hands and puts them in Asuna's, with such excitement and passion. It makes Asuna move back a bit with uncertainty. 

"I'm Hange Zoe, I am a section commander in the Scout Regiment, as well as Levi's dearest frien-"

Levi interrupts Hange. "Oi! Shitty glasses, if you weren't aware, we need to get a move on. You can torture her with your constant talking on the ride there."

"Right, of course!" Hange looks back at Asuna and rolls her eyes at Levi's unnecessary comments, which makes Asuna chuckle a bit. "This way!"

Hange doesn't let go of Asuna's hand as she leads her to the carriage that awaited her. She let's Asuna go in first as she follows her. Looking out the window, Asuna sees that Levi has already gotten on his horse with his other men and took off, with a couple men staying behind to follow behind the carriage to protect it. Hange sits down across from Asuna and waits for her to process the fact that she is actually leaving. 

"None of this seems real," Asuna breaks her silence. 

Hange laughs. "Don't worry, sweet girl! This may be scary, but you seem like such a tough young lady that you can get through anything! Even if that means being taken away from your home and sold off to the the King of the Walls!" 

It was understandable that Hange was attempting to make her feel better about the situation, but it occurred to Asuna that this woman didn't have a filter or any common sense of comfort in that regard.

 "If you need anything at all," Hange continues. "You can always come to me!"

Asuna smiles at her and nods. Silently thanking her for offering to be there for her. As the carriage begins to depart, she looks back one last time at her home. Tears attempt to form in her eyes but she stops them. She sees her father still standing there from where she smashed his glass of whiskey, looking and waving goodbye until going back and sitting down on the rocking chair on the front porch. One thing that broke her heart a bit, was there was no sign of Harrison. She had not seen him since he stormed off in tears at the realization that she was leaving. He was her lifelong friend, an orphan who was taken under Dan Reiss' wing and became somebody she truly admired and cared for. It was valid that he was upset at this situation, but the least he could have done was bid farewell to her. But instead, there was no sign of him as she left. 

Hange talked for almost the entire carriage ride to the castle within Wall Sina. She brought up the beauties of the castle and all of the stores and places to explore within Sina. How delicious the food is and how talented the chefs within the castle are. Hange also brings up how they are struggling to find a solution towards the titans that surround the outside of the walls, she almost seemed enthusiastic about the titans and what kind of purpose they hold in this world. Hange goes on to state how pampered Asuna is going to be considering she will be the Queen, how there will be countless girls who will wish they would be her, how amazing the libraries are within the castle and the gardens that surround it. 

She was really intrigued at the thought of the gardens that Hange mentions, maybe that can be her means of escape when she needs it. She loves being surrounded by the scent of roses, lilies, and the fresh air of true nature. Considering she is now going to live in a crowded town within a so-called big castle without any grasp of the open fields she was always used to, the thought of the gardens excited her. 

Asuna tried to close her eyes to get some rest and free her mind from anymore stress, but before she knew it, Hange was waking her up to inform her that they have arrived. It was dark outside at this point, she collects herself and accepts, finally getting to see for herself what will be her future. Hange steps out of the carriage first, and before Asuna can step out herself, Levi is there right outside to helps her down from the carriage. She takes his hand and steps out, attempting to get familiar with her surroundings, but processing it seemed almost impossible to her. 

She looks up to see a monstrous castle that stood above her, with guards standing at every angle. It was beautiful, but intimidating. A large pathway leading to a large entrance to the castle stood before her, with torches lighting up most of the area so that she would see what was in front of her, the pathway looked like it was miles away. Before she knew it, bells rang from every inch of the crowded city, most likely to signal the arrival of the new Queen. Her heart raced so hard, she tried so hard not to shake and show the fear that lingered within her. Instead of showing the true fear that she kept inside, she held her head up high and looked back at Levi. He held out his hand for her to grab it, in which she instinctively did so. He spoke up so that she didn't have to.

"Welcome home." 

[Yes, I went slightly overboard with the word count (which is 3.7k) but I envisioned this chapter to end the way it did and I hope it kept your attention! stay tuned!]

- Kat 

[writersmilex]

Mag Agent Torture: Headcanons

( Art by  wasabiiiladyy on Twitter)

- A mere Janitor you are, nothing special to you. And yet, they can’t work without you.

- Always the one that has to clean up the mess that Nevada's most wanted leaves behind. At least you get paid handsomely for it.

- And also as a Janitor, you have a first-row seat to what the scientists are experimenting with, without being involved yourself.

- Some of the experiments are okay... others are downright inhumane. And there is nothing you personally can do about it. It makes you feel so powerless sometimes. The blood and guts that you mop off the floor, used to be a person just like you once. Really sad.

- The hardest part of the job is the MAGs. Those beings are very dangerous and hard to control. You don't get any protection when you have to go to the Mag quarters to clean or fix something.

- But you've slowly learned not to fear, as long as you don't provoke the Mags you'll be fine and free to do your work. None of the mags there really acknowledge you while you work. And you'd rather not be acknowledged by them, they're staring and give you the chills.

- Basically, you do your work, and the mags do theirs.

- However, there was this one time, you had music on while mopping the tiled floor. You have gotten used to the stomping of the mags and didn't look up when the stomping got closer. And then you suddenly get knocked over as a Mag walks by, not noticing nor minding you.

- It took you a moment to recover, and your headphones were knocked to the ground. And before you could stand up yourself. A large hand grabs the back of your jumpsuit, lifts you and puts you on your feet. The hand lets go and the Mag who helped you up walks away without much interaction.

- The thing was that three mags were walking by, and you can't tell who it was that helped you up.

Acquaintance____

- Around the facility, you are known as the laid-back and wise janitor. Nobody is on your bad side and if someone is, you simply don't clean their cubicle anymore. And most workers want a spotless office space to work in.

- Also, you're praised for your fearlessness. Despite your very mundane job in such a large organization. You don't react to anything out of the ordinary happening. If once again something in the labs explodes and a few people died. You casually discard the dead bodies and mop up all the blood, and leave the repairing to the engineers.  

- In other words, you're quite well known around. Famous for the song you whistle while working. It's characteristic of you, everyone knows you for those random tunes to whistle as you restock a vending machine.

- A Mag heard this strange echo through the hall. It got him curious. So he follows the sound to its source. Peeking around the corner, the mag finds the janitor. Whistling random out-of-tune tones. The janitor doesn't notice him yet, so he can listen to these strange sounds for a little longer.

- The moment the janitor turns around, the mag is gone. He has taken cover behind the wall. He knows that the janitor is not afraid of anybody. But that doesn't mean the Mag is not afraid.

- A few more times, Torture has spent his minimal spare time watching you from a distance. Figuring out a way how to approach you. Maybe he could pretend to accidentally knock you over, and then help you up. Like he has done before. Although that one time it was another mag that knocked you over and Torture was the one that helped you up. He could try that again to gain your attention!

-  Without much more thought, Torture makes a move. He walks by you and attempts to knock you over on purpose, however, when you topple over your hand landed wrong and you sprained your wrist. And when Torture head you shout, "ow! Argh!" He panicked.

- He honestly thought he had broken you. He picks you up with two hands, kind of at a loss of what to do. Torture lets out some low, sad cooing noises while walking around looking for someone who can help.

- He felt really bad for what he did. Torture didn't mean to hurt you. You must hate him now... And he refuses to show himself to you now. What if you're scared of him now? Torture was upset about the whole ordeal for a long time.

- That is until you showed up again in the Mag quarters...

Platonic____

- You greet the Mag with a smile, which surprised him greatly. He expected you to hate him for hurting you. you said, "it was an accident, all is forgiven." while waving your good hand dismissively.

- Torture knows that it wasn't an accident, and this incident has been eating at him for a while. He should just apologize for good measure. And so he did.

- A bit of a friendship grew from that incident, If you were cleaning the labs, Torture will always move aside if you ask him to.  If you can't reach something? Say no more! Torture will help you with anything.

- You're simply doing your job. However, you can tell that things are getting a little heated around here. Janitors know everything that happens around the premises they're in charge of keeping up and running.

- One day, there is a ruckus going on, on the other side of the facility. You feared it was another failed experiment, but that was not the case. That Mag; Torture, became a dissenter and started to massacre anyone he came across. leaving a trail of death and gore in his wake. You pull your utility cart after you as you follow the destruction. The screams got louder and louder as you neared the Mag. The next room is where you found him, Torture sneering at the grunt he snatched off the ground. In one effortless move, the Mag rips off the Grunt's head. Blood decorating the floor crudely, you remember cleaning those floors a few days ago.

- The mess made you angry, you throw your mop to the side and point at the giant grunt. "Hey, it just cleaned those floors! Are you kidding me?! Hours of work wasted!" You scold the Mag, who glances at you and drops the head and headless body to the floor, making even more of a mess.

- Your sudden interruption made Torture panic a little, if he lingered around any longer he'd be executed for disobeying the Aahw. In a sort of blind panic, he snatched you up in his hand and escaped the premises together with the Janitor.

- For what felt like hours, Torture walked through the volcanic ash desert seemingly with no clear goal in mind. You nearly fell asleep in his hand, it felt like a tight sleeping bag. But you jolted awake when Torture stopped abruptly, looking around cautiously before setting you down on the ground.

- You feel like you can't return to your old life, not like you really wanted to anyway. You decide to stay with Torture (or Tor as you call him). Much to his astonishment.

- Over the course of months the two of you have become a nearly unstoppable force together. Well... Tor is this unstoppable one... Your stay with him so far has been quite peaceful, on the very outside of Nevada in an abandoned mountain-side cottage next to a cave.

Romantic__Pining____

- While living together peacefully, Tor has grown attached to you. Once you proclaimed that you'd stay with him and would not leave he was overjoyed. He has never felt this happy in his life. Solitude and calm are all that he ever wanted, and now he has them.

- Renovating the home took a long while, but you helped each other with what little resources you had and made it a real home together. Tor made sure to be extra careful with you while you were standing on his hand to reach the highest part of the cottage.

- Although you have a perfectly good bed in that cottage, you prefer to be in Tor's hands, probably the warmest place you've ever been. And Tor loves to cradle you in his hands

- You and Tor took everything soft you could find to make the cave as comfortable to make the space livable for him.

- Tor wasn't sure when his adoration for you started, but when he realized you'd do a lot to make him happy he knew he'll do everything to protect you.

- Sometimes you have to leave to run errands or get supplies to survive, the next village is already quite far away so it usually takes a day or two. And while you are away, Tor waits patiently for your return. Sometimes he'll take a walk around the place to stretch his feet. You return to him sooner than he expected.

- You came back with something new, grain seeds! That way you can grow your own food that way! Tor is more than happy to help you hoe the new achers by dragging a finger through the dirt, creating achers of land to place the grain and other vegetable seeds you found in the town.

- Now, you can grow your own food and make a little farm together with Tor. Some food you keep to feed yourself and Tor and some leftovers you sell for some extra cash.

- Now You and Tor live peacefully on a little farm together, and nothing could disturb you and him.

- This peacefulness used to be but a mere dream once for Tor, but now that his nightmares are finally over, he has everything he ever wanted. He wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world.

Romantic__Relationship____

- It wasn't very clear when the relationship started. But after a while of living together, it felt as if you were a little bit more than good friends.

- The cuddling kind of gave it away, the perfect moment; You rest in Tor's hands while he is relaxing in his cave during a heavy rain storm. Nothing but you and him and the echos of the rain through the earth's cavity.

- Tor loves to cradle you in his hands, you look so cute, all snuggled up in his palms and he can protect you easily here.

- In his spare time, Tor likes to go on walks through the volcanic desert, he doesn't really see new things every day. But the long walks help in think. How he got so lucky meeting you and you set him free.

- The blood from his head injuries has clotted and it doesn't spill everywhere as much, but the pillows and blankets in his cave are stained with blood, you wash them regularly and Tor helps you dry them out.

- With your farm, you can cook many great foods that Tor never had before, and you surprise him every day with a new meal. Or even the same meal completes his day.

- There is not much kissing going on, mostly because you're the size of his hand. It's more nuzzling that's happening. He likes to nuzzle his entire face in your torso. You're small enough that he could use you as a tissue, but he would never do that.

- By this time you spend more nights in his hands than in your own bed. You've never really felt this in love since you took that Janitor job. Not only Tor feels better in this life, but you've also never felt this good in life. Screw that Janitor job.

- Tor takes you on walks sometimes if you want to and do some sightseeing through the desert. You saw an abandoned well the other day, and you took pictures of it. It's framed in the living of your cottage! Farming is still done together, and Tor is a great help in farming.  

- Tor with protecting you with his life, you were the one to set him free. You see him as more than just a tool. You love him. What more could he possibly ask for? If anyone even dares to slightly upset you, he will pulverize them.

- Tor has never felt happier. Together with you, he lives his best life in peace on a farm with the person that loves him the most.

_____________________________________

Am I still doing these? Apparently?

Thanks for reading.

- Smilex🙂

[will80sbyers]

Are you ever afraid we're putting too much faith into the writers? It's been a few months since vol2 dropped so I feel like people are already forgetting the parts of the story that weren't particularly good. The almost cheesy bullying? Robin and vickie being very similar to each other? Eddie dying in kind of a stupid way just because he was always meant to die? The st*ncy revival (though I hope that's just a red herring ofc)? The timeskip everyone hated? The neverending russia plotline? I'm sure there are others I'm forgetting. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't expect perfectly satisfying storylines in s5. Do you think some of these weren't actually that bad, or were they bad but s5 will still deliver?

I don't think the Duffers are perfect writers but I like what they have done so far with the show so I'm not worried ♥️

imo the bullying wasn't cheesy it was exactly how bullies acted at that time and many people online talked about having similar experiences and relating to Eleven to the point of being retraumatized by that, bullying has simply changed a bit with technology I believe

we have not seen enough of Vickie to say that she's too similar to Robin, they made her talk fast like Robin because they wanted to make it clear that Robin was not the only one with a crush + Vickie was introduced mainly for the byler parallel

Eddie's death was not stupid in my opinion, he didn't know what was happening with Steve and the others and wanted to give them more time and be brave for once, the problem with Eddie's death is that it was predictable but it had sense in the narrative + his character was written in also to forward Dustin's character arc for next season so I believe it will play a huge part on the general narrative

I don't think Stancy was really revived, I think it was all about making Nancy understand that Steve had truly changed (because they probably will kill him off next season... to make it more dramatic and sad when he dies for love)

Once you rewatch the time skip doesn't feel weird anymore, I think it was the first impression because we have big action scene right before and it seemed sudden because the brain is overwhelmed... I also believe they could explore it back with flashbacks but we will see!

The Russia plotline was literally necessary to save Hopper and start jopper officially and I personally liked it, I don't think it was badly written and I think that what they learned about the Russian studying the demogorgons could help them next season because they showed the tanks and all

so yeah, I'm not expecting the most mindblowing never seen before thing ever from the show but I'm expecting something that is true to the characters, a good theme of True love winning against evil that I personally love with all my heart and the importance of friendship and found families... I'm expecting the right ending for stranger things... maybe a bit sad because at least one character I love will probably die but still a good ending!

I have faith that they know what they are doing because for now everything that I didn't like at first watch I understood later what was the purpose of that :)

adding byler proof just because I feel like it lol

[homo-rashi]

Kinktober 2023 | Embracing

Original Male Character x Original Male Charcter

“Akihito-san?” Yuu called out Akihito's name from down the hall, 

“In here?” Akihito called back, having just changed into his own pajamas, having gotten pretty chilled going without his jacket on the walk back to his place from the station, Yuu walks around the corner, his college sweatpants and sweatshirt fitting her perfectly. “Why the formality? Did you change your mind about us calling each other by our first name?” Akihito asks, as he laid back into his bed, 

“I just…I'm in your home wearing your clothes. I didn't want to be rude…” Akihito pats the bed for him to come lay next to him. He knows when he is feeling sick he always feels quite exhausted after bathing, if he can even will himself to do it most of the time. Yuu hesitantly sits beside him in bed. “Besides, you called me Yuu-chan, earlier…” Yuu says, sheepishly, 

“I did?” Akihiko quirks an eyebrow, trying to remember when exactly he let that slip from his lips, Admittedly, in his head, He fondly referred to Yuu in such way, its cute, He is cute, he can't help it, he certainly never meant to call him that, no man likes to be referred to in such, childish, feminine way, well, besides himself. 

“In the hallway, when I was on your back.” Yuu leans further into the bed, going into a more, up right, laying down position rather then sitting straight up, 

“Oh, sorry about that.” It makes sense now to Akihiko, Yuu looked so cute, so peaceful when he was asleep, it must have just slipped out because it fit how the boy looked in that moment, resting on his shoulder. 

“It's fine, don't say I didn't like it.” Yuu pouts, adjusting the pillow behind him. Akihiko has had enough of him being shy. He pulls the covers out from under Yuu, pulling them up over his legs and wrapping a hand over his shoulder. 

“I wouldn't have brought you here or given you clothes if I didn't want you here, lay down. You're gonna make yourself sicker.” Akihiko is pleased that Yuu doesn't feel warm, but he isn't pleased with how tense the boy feels in his arms. “Yuu-chan?” He asks, half teasing, He is surprised when in response, he hears a muffled sob. 

“I’m sorry!” He immediately pulls the covers back, half expecting the sudden change off emotion due to Yuu being sick again, be it losing control of his bladder or actually being sick but he finds nothing but Yuu, frantically wiping at his eyes.

“Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong?” Akihiko says, gently, not wanting to upset him anymore then he clearly already has. 

“I ruined our date…” Yuu looks up at him through his fingers, his big, eyes so filled with sadness, Akihiko wants to grab him and kiss him to show him, their date isn't ruined, but he resists one more, 

“You didn't ruin anything, you got sick, it's out of your control, besides, We are still on our date right now we can still make the most of it, if you're feeling up to it that is.” Akihiko gently moves Yuu’s hands away from his face, grabbing a tissue from his bedside table and dabbing at his tears. 

“M’not sick.” Yuu mutters under his breath, Akihiko doesnt catch what he says, 

“Sorry, what?” He stops wiping Yuu’s noses in hope he will be able to hear him better. 

“I said…I'm not sick I just, I wet myself. Not because of the flu or because I had a fever. I couldn't hold it anymore and it just happened. I feel fine. I ruined our date because I was too afraid to speak up!” Yuu says, quickly and with as much force as he seems to have been able to muster before he sobs again, 

“Oh Yuu, it's still okay! I'm not mad…it's still not like you did it on purpose! You just…Why didn't you say anything?” Akihiko understands anxiety, far more than most Japanese people. He believes in mental health and even being medicated for it. But most people would find a way to relieve themselves before it got to the point of having an accident, even with severe anxiety. 

“I got to our meeting place like an hour early because I'm an idiot! And I drank coffee! And then I didn't think we were gonna be on the train so long and Mimiko-san’s place didn't have a public restroom and I drank so may free drinks she gave me and then we didn't go back to the station we went to the park and we were so far from any bathroom I could have made it to anyway so I just-” Akihiko cut him off, pulling him into a hug, He got it now, It was regular first date anxiety mixed with unfortunate circumstances, partly on him for not paying attention-

“Sounds to me like you held it for nearly five hours. That's a long, long time for anyone, especially when you're nervous about our date.” Akihiko pulled away, only for a second to bring Yuu back into a more comfortable position, nestled next to him in bed. 

“You should be disgusted.” Yuu groans, but giving into the embrace, 

“Do you think ive never wet myself before? I’m a salaryman who started as an entry level employee. Do you know how drunk the higher ups get you your first year? I ended up stumbling home at six in the morning, waking up on the floor of a subway station, not knowing if it was my first or fourth accident that made my pants so uncomfortable.” Akihiko laughs, petting his hand thought Yuu’s hair, taking note how it relaxed him on the train. 

“But I wasn't drunk.” Yuu is still pouting, 

“Let's just pretend then that Mimiko-san, in her old age, accidentally gave you the alcohols amazake then? Would that make you feel better? hmm?” Akihiko jokes and is relieved when he gets a laugh out of Yuu. 

“Let's watch a movie.” Yuu cuddles further into Akihiko’s side, feeling so the warmth next to him in bed is something he missed so much.

[i-swear-this-is-my-happy-place]

at a loss

Sometimes i swear he'll never understand me. I express everything to him as clearly as i can. And its just like we have having two different conversations. Im sure alot of ur reactions are because of how you and your family talked to eachother.. but im not. Them.... then even when i approach you or talk to you in a way we talked about its still not good enough. You say ur understand but you dont act like you do. Then you get mad and say im mad when im not. Ur eye get so cold like im talking down to you when im just asking questions to figure out why. Im not raising my voice, im not talking down to u. I explain why I do thing that i know can be triggering and u still look at me like im a liar.... it makes me feel ill. I thought i met someone who got me but now im just... im just not sure. It hurts. Alot. I just wanted u to ask the room before making a decision. It would have been better for everyone. Do u think im being controlling by asking that? Why did u get so cold so quick. U shut down so fast when im just trying to talk to u. Why? Im beginning to be afraid to ask why. Am i just going to have to pretend im okay for the rest of my life? Will he ever really understand where im coming from? I just dont know anymore. Its hard not to get sad when im curious. Cuz whenever the questions are about him he makes it seem like im blowing it up into a big deal. And when i tell him it doesn't have to be nothing or a big deal it can be somewhere in the middle the look he gives me.... it makes me wanna give up. And whenever im upset he gets mad. He says its cuz he wishes there was something he could do but when i tell him that when he gets mad when im upset it makes me more upset cuz i think hes mad at me it just doesnt make a difference. Is he really forgetting everytime or does he just not care? Does he not care to remember? He keeps saying one day hell know everything about me but it doesnt seem like hes trying sometimes. Why would u purposely give us your favorite coffee when we asked for ur least favorite coffee. U say its cuz we would have used the rest of the bad coffee? But isnt that good? Were u subconsciously just trying to give us what u know u like? Then u said u wasted ur coffee? Do u see how u speak in circles? If u had just said there isnt much ledt let us be apart of that. If u got distracted just say that. Is that why ur really upset is cuz u didnt think of it and im bringing that to light? Do u think im judging u? I just i dont know anymore. I really just dont know. I dont understand

[nowcrashing]

OK so I'm writing this down before I do it bc I feel like I get some little modicum of satisfaction of leaving proof of what I was thinking before something happens.

I'm about to invite him to spend the night with me on Sat and I think he's going to say no. And I knew I wanted to write about it but was kind of confused because I was like, well I usually write about things that make me sad.... and this would make me sad..... but given that it feels predictable and he's not my boyfriend, I actually don't think my sadness is fully About This? So I wasn't sure what I was hoping for by posting.

I think I've figured out what is motivating me to post though. I think that I'm putting off asking him because if I haven't asked him, I get to live in this fantasy where he might say yes. And once I do ask him, that fantasy will be over. There's a chance that it will resolve in a nice way but I just feel so sure that the resolution will be that he can't or doesn't want to come over on Sat. And I'm avoiding having to go from hope to no hope. This isn't a good quality in me. But it also speaks to what I deeply want in a relationship: SECURITYYYYYYY. I know that a boyfriend won't always be available for things but I shouldn't have to be afraid to ask someone I'm dating to do things with me. And I know my fears are irrational so that means they're mostly my problem anyway and would be even if he were my boyfriend. But in a different kind of relationship where we were building something and developing a commitment to each other, I think I wouldn't be so nervous to ask. I know I can't assume that having a man would fix my problems or rely on a man to fix my problems, but I think the thing no one wants to admit is that having a secure relationship actually does salve some things.

Anyway. I have to rip off the bandaid now.

---

Updating this just to say that he did say yes and then today he didn't talk to me all day. Turns out it was just work and I believe him. But I still couldn't sleep during the hours where I thought he was just blowing me off. That was like.... okayish while I was planning what I was going to say tomorrow and making my mental flowchart of responses, because that at least had a purpose. But then I just couldn't stop thinking and obviously I was waiting and hoping for my phone to buzz. It turned out okay in the end if you're measuring "okay" by what path on the flowchart I ended up taking. But the not OK part is me being unable to sleep at all. I don't like that he has that kind of power over me. I don't want anyone who is not my boyfriend to be able to make me feel that way. And it's just weird and annoying because while I KNOW I will be very sad once this ends and I'm not trying to deny it, I also know that I will have a bit of relief for not having to wait on a text anymore or mentally compare how much he's texting me now VS how much did he used to text me or any of that. It won't make me feel "good" but it WILL be a relief. And if that's the case, why do I have to suffer now.

Whatever. He's a good man. I like him so much. I wish I could keep him. And I can't wait to meet my real person. I don't even really believe he's out there. But I want to meet him, I want him to be real. I miss him and long for him in these moments.

[not-that-blog]

I think I just did something that is almost worse than leaving someone on read in a fb group chat...

Instead of just double tapping to heart react the comment, I put the extra few seconds of effort in to leave a thumbs up instead.

Which like, I'm furious and emotionally drained atm and this person is absolutely part of it because of some ridiculously irresponsible emotional dumping on me in a way that took me being drunk to process exactly how fucked up it was but neither my boyfriend or my cousin were going to let me deal with that intoxicated and even sober me is mad they didn't because I genuinely think drunk me would've done a better job of saying 'hey do you realise that was fucked up and these are the responsible steps a normal healthy person makes in these situations' because sober me has too many actual problems to deal with which drunk me knows they can't be responsible for because they were drunk but social things is drunk me's speciality because no one is mad when you can't sugar coat when drunk but every one is mad when you can't sugar coat because you're emotionally burnt out and you just want to scream.

Drunk me isn't going to scream, drunk me knows they have no volume control so only singing, sober me is 5 seconds away from starting a fight because I'm so angry that they've had time to think about their actions but haven't apologised for being so rude in a way my drunk ass could recognise as rude.

And I didn't realise that I was this mad about it and part of my rage is possibly because I'm mad at my brother for being a dick, but a lot of this rage is actually because this is a continuous pattern of behaviour of that person telling other people to not do things or go out of their way for things that this person can fix easily on their own.

You don't want to see my completely innocent relationship photos because you still have feelings for me you're not coping with despite me seeing you purely as a friend? Unfollow me, you don't have to unfriend, but you can unfollow or ask FB to see less of what I post.

You don't like what I'm posting in the group chat because it's intimate details of my life experiences in a group chat which was made for that exact purpose? Leave and tell me you've got some shit to work on.

I don't need to know that you have feelings for me, that you're not coping with, because you don't want to be a mature adult about them, but especially when it's not even healthy, it's a projection because you're not actually happy with your life and you miss when I would come in and clean up your messes and you will admit that, but not take action and responsibility for it and expect me to continue to cover for the burden of your emotions in a way that disrespects the exact boundaries I set with you.

(He can't see this btw, he doesn't have tumblr, I'm just processing this fully because this situation in the group chat has made me realise that I'm going through a stage of anger that is so petty and childish, that I just can't fucking cope with them anymore)

And I'm so sad that drunk me didn't deal with it, because my drunk ass sometimes makes the best 'bad' choices because ironically, being drunk is the time I love and respect my boundaries the most. I hear and respond to my needs super fast when drunk. I became alcohol dependent when I was younger because I needed to feel and express myself and set boundaries and I had to be drunk to do it. It's why I don't often drink anymore, because I'm afraid of relapse... and I need to learn how to do that shit sober.

Drunk me would have called or texted them, gone through their behaviour and called out a plan of action and potentially removed them from spaces because of the level of inappropriate their behaviour was.

And now I have to find the courage to that sober and heartbroken over other shit and I just don't fucking want to. At all.

Bonus: I keep getting comments about how my 'relationship can't be that healthy if I'm still struggling so much' (from irl people, not internet people) and all I can think is how my boyfriend is great and I adore him and he's my comfort and genuinely one of my best friends (and was before we started dating) but his presence in my life being changed from best buddy I lowkey have feelings for to boyfriend I can openly be smitten af about, doesn't change the whole 'I have deep abandonment issues around family and friendships and those experiences have been deeply triggered.' I'm not afraid of losing him, I'm afraid of losing my brother who also did wildly stupid shit that crossed a lot of boundaries and suddenly feeling unimportant to everyone but like 4ppl.

Also, I will not be getting drunk to go off at the person. I'm responsible enough... but like also, wtf.

[haleigh-sloth]

I'm really afraid because Bakugo already had a death scare, would it really just be a scare this time? This one feels so sad, emotional, final, whereas with the first one I never felt like he'd stay gone. Do you think Horikoshi would do a death scare twice, or go for a shock value darker twist with Bakugo? I don't know, and that's why i'm going through the 5 stages of grief over this. i feel sick to my stomach and i'm actually crying... over a fictional character 😭

I'm sorry anon, I doubt I can explain it anymore than I already have.

This manga, though at times questionable, IS narratively sound. It DOES follow up on things laid out.

I just don't know how to explain how painfully obvious it is that Bakugo is going to be fine. I'm sorry but I'm out of explanations. Really.

Yes, a death scare for a second time is not surprising. This isn't like the first time anyway. We're going on break next week and the author is trolling us.

But on another note: Bakugo getting stabbed isn't really a death scare imo. I mean yes it's to freak you out, but it's not a death scare. Because characters get stabbed all the time and survive. We didn't need a "how will he get out of this" thought process. In fact, we didn't even GET a "how he survived" explanation afterward, because it was just that unimportant, and un-crucial. He literally just fought the rest of that arc with those stab wounds. It barely got any focus. That's....not a death scare. Getting stabbed, unless it's like in the fucking head, is not a death sentence in manga lol.

THIS is a death scare. His heart exploded, and we don't actually know HOW he'll come back. We WILL have to get an explanation for how he survived. And we know that we will get that explanation.

I'm sorry but no, I don't think Hori is going to take a "dark turn" with Bakugo. There are no "dark turns" in BNHA. None. Nobody dies. Nobody of importance, especially on the hero side, dies. And "it's the final arc!" isn't a good reason either. Because final arcs are supposed to pay off on previous build up, not throw it all away. Look at this manga as a whole and really think about it.

Twice dying was predicted by many many many, long long before it even happened. And it served the themes of the story. It showed us the extremes that heroes are willing to go in the name of heroism. And those extremes were put in place to be shown to be wrong.

I really barely have the mental energy to explain this but--Bakugo dying here serves no purpose. "Dark turn" is not a purpose. It's not anything. It's just bullshit shock value. And even though BNHA has its shocking moments, it doesn't do pointless shock value deaths.

Bakugo's arc isn't done either. I don't know why people think Bakugo's exit from the story would be him losing a fight that the main main character is ultimately going to win later. That's not an ending to his arc. And while BNHA has its shitty moments, it's not a shitty manga. And a lazy writer with shitty insight would kill off Bakugo. The writer of BNHA, would not.

Idk if you've read other manga, and I don't want to assume, or sound like a complete asshole. But....this should not really be concerning anybody. BNHA is comparable to basically any other big name shounen manga out there and there are just unspoken RULES that these types of manga follow. Killing Bakugo breaks many of those rules.

I suggest staying away from places like twitter, where you generally just find people feeding into the pointless hysteria and making it ten times worse. I literally saw the leaks and rolled my eyes, and in my safe little circle on tumblr that was the reaction of many others.

Hori makes frustrating decisions at times that maybe most people wouldn't like (death scaring Bakugo is one of them for me), but I promise you he's not an aimless idiot with a pencil. He knows what he's doing. And it clearly shows in the majority of the manga.

And also on a side note: Hori said the greatest moment was to come in that jump festa letter. I'm sorry but none of this was a great moment. So with that alone it should be plenty clear that he's fine. Lol.