#and i do have PLENTY of thoughts about miko + childhood

[harukapologist]

how come I've never seen anyone talk about the background noises when Mikoto is calling his mom in Double..... .. (tbf Double release was around the time I got really hyperfixated on Milgram so there may have been talks about it that I just didn't see because I wasn't well-versed in mil yet)

They sound like children's laughter to me... really peculiar

I'm going to make a post about them sometime. possibly. maybe

[linkemon]

Showing affection headcanons 2

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here.

Venti

✧ Clingy with the need of attention - this is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about him.

✧ He has a tendency to act like a child. He is everywhere and needs attention.

Have you seen what is happening in the market? No? You both have to go there now!

Were you watching me doing that trick? Well, see it now!

Are you listening to me at all? That day...

If he has your attention, he feels loved. Therefore, he gets jealous. More for show than for real but guys around you should be aware because he'll give stare at them or he'll just grab your hand and take you away without explanation.

✧ Venti likes to use the wind to pick you up. He'll make your hair look bad in a funny way or lift your skirt for if you wear it (within the limits of decency of course, almost...).

✧ He will sing for you any time of the day or night. Whether it's a private concert or a drunken shanty at Angel's Share, he'll take out his lyre and charm you and others present with his voice.

✧ He often takes you to the big tree in Windrise. Then he gets more serious and instead of quick kisses, before you expect it, he lays his head on your shoulder, reminiscing about older times. Then he also honestly talks about how much he appreciates you and what you have changed in his life.

Zhongli

✧ Master of remembering details. The little things you shared with him, even long ago, turn into something special. Whether it's a gift or a place you wanted to see.

✧ His way of showing affection is to support and care for you. If you're having a bad day at a restaurant, he'll always gently ask how you're feeling. If you want to tell him, he'll listen, if not, he's got plenty of stories to distract you from your problems. Traditionally, he will make tea and then cover you with a blanket and you will sit together.

✧ Zhongli is a person who is used to showing affection more in private than in public but if you like walking around the city hand in hand, he doesn't mind.

✧ He loves to cuddle. You always feel safe in his arms.

✧ When you offered to comb his hair, he agreed and he must admit that he liked it a lot more than he thought. Now he often lets you do it or braid it.

Gorou

✧ If he's happy, his tail starts wagging. This is especially common with you. You can easily tell his emotions by his ears. Ever since a rumor spread among his people that his ears were lucky, you started petting them for fun. Embarrassed, he admitted that he liked it very much.

✧ Since the war in Inazuma ended, you have more time for each other. He especially appreciates being with you. Even if it's just paperwork, he doesn't mind. However, he especially encourages you to climb with him. He will always check the equipment several times and whether you are well fastened. He wants to be sure of your safety.

✧ He often brings you small gifts. Especially shells from the beach or pearls from Watatsumi. At some point it occurred to him that you probably had many of them before, after all, you lived on this island since childhood. He flattened his ears and started promising bringing something else but you assured him that the presents were beautiful and made a necklace out of them. Several people have complained that it looks childish but you don't care.

✧ You are a hero in his eyes since you learned how to cleverly save him from Yae Miko's clutches. The first time he yelled that you were so gorgeous he could kiss you. When you said you may do it, he got so embarrassed that you didn't bring it up again. He's not ready for it yet.

Barbara Pegg

✧ If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that Barbara will let you know that she loves you. Even if she gets embarrassed sometimes, she is so open that the words I love you are not a problem for her.

✧ Dressing your wounds is also an expression of affection for her. She will always help you when you have an accident or monsters attack you around Mondstadt. Barbara likes to apply bandages and tie mini bows on them. She also used to draw hearts on your cast.

✧ She loves to give you goodbye kisses on the cheek. You, on the other hand, love kissing her forehead. She considers it a very tender and caring gesture.

✧ She composed some love songs for you. You happened to find them by accident in her things. She's only sung one for you so far because she says the rest aren't finished. You have to wait until your birthday.

✧ Whether or not you believe in Barbatos she prays to him for your health and prosperity in all matters.

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Okay so I'm super happy that there's someone who knows about Supa Strika's . Would it be to much to ask for some more head cannons about Twisting Tiger and Miko with there S/O? Maybe with a childhood friend they use to tease?

This idea rocks!

Twisting Tiger

Twisting Tiger is one of those people who has a handful of friends, but the ones he has he’s extremely close to. A friend who's been there from the start, through thick and thin, is someone he is point blank ride-or-die for at this point. It’s a surprise to exactly 0 people that those two are dating. 

The relationship actually took a while to get off the ground specifically due to his teasing. It definitely made s/o’ heart flutter, but the joking made them think that Tiger was just that - joking. And he never saw them make mention of their own feelings so he wasn’t sure if they had similar feelings. They trapped themselves in a will-they-won’t-they for so many years. It wasn’t until a little before Tiger tried out to be part of the League that they finally got together. 

S/o or Tiger are equally as likely to have been the one to confess - it really boils down to which one is the more reckless one. If s/o is bold though, they will get a pretty good reaction from him that they can and should remind him of later. Repeatedly. 

“I LIKE YOU-” “WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING IT-?!”

A dash of competition makes any relationship fun. A race to get the most groceries in is a weekly occurrence, with dish-washing duties on the line. Neither party is above cheating. Twisting Tiger would like to think that he is but S/o has caught him feigning tripping to get a leg up. 

‘Time spent together’ is the love language at the core of this relationship. He is not much of a talker, and values both his and s/o’s privacy a lot leaving physical affection as a thing done at home rather than out and about. Sometimes love is just sitting on the couch together, each reading a different book, enjoying silence. Love isn’t always loud. 

The team 1000% thought that those were just friends. Both of them are casual and relaxed around each other, acting like best friends all the time. Even their texts (at least Tiger’s) aren’t really lovey-dovey. The inside jokes didn’t help that impression go away. The only one to really know what was going on was Cool Joe, only because of his keen eyes. No one believed him but it was the easiest bet he’s ever won. 

Miko

This man used to be the quiet kid in class who tended to be deep in thought. S/o befriended this introvert as the true extrovert that they are and they have been friends ever since. Miko has long since become much more open and confident, willing to express his opinion if the situation calls for it, but s/o has plenty to tease him about. 

There are a lot of inside jokes and back-and-forth teasing, all the time. You’d think S/o would be the one doing so all the time since Miko exudes ‘responsibility’ but he will jab back. It’s sudden and sharp and it hits when s/o leads suspects it. They once nearly shot milk up their nose because of one of his surprise jabs making them cackle.

Miko has made it his goal to repeat that instance at least once a week. 

This is a couple that took so, so damn long to get together. Twisting Tiger used to tease Miko about not confessing back when they were both on the same team, that’s how long it’s taken. In Miko’s defense, he legit did not realize he had such strong feelings for S/o in the first place - they’ve been friends for so long he chalked up the intensity of emotions to having been friends for so long. He has to do some serious internal reflecting to figure it out. 

He did not hesitate to confess quickly thereafter. 

“I like you.” “EH-?”

He didn’t say it in the moment, but S/o’s shocked face was adorable. 

They are so not subtle. Miko may not be for making out in public but he is very direct about his feelings for s/o. He will press their foreheads together when he sees they’re stressed and grab their hand with only a bit of hesitation and a flushed look on his face. Tiger knows there’s been a change in the relationship from how openly Miko is lovingly gazing at S/o like they’re the whole world. 

[bluethude]

Hi I just wanted to say I like your storys and I enjoy reading them and if you don't mind I would like to request a pregnant reader with her lovely caring wife (aka beidou/ningguan/ei/miko/kokomi Sepperate) ofc u don't have to do all of them if you don't want to or if it's to much I just thought this would be a cute story yk. And yeah I'm sorry if I had any grammar mistakes englisch is not my first language hehe:)

Hey there !

Thanks for reading what I can write and thank for the compliment, it really means a lot ! Sure I can do this, it is a very cute and sweet idea !

I hope you'll enjoy it as much as you enjoyed my other works ! And don't worry, English isn't my first language either, besides we all do mistakes so don't worry about potential grammar mistakes !

Requested : Yes

Characters : Beidou, Ei, Kokomi, Ningguang and Yae Miko, separately

Summary : Beidou, Ei, Kokomi, Ningguang and Yae Miko with a pregnant reader !

Word count : 2095 words

Warning : quick mention of death (in Ei's part), other than that, nothing

​​​​💫​​Rules and list of fandom💫​

​​​​✉️​Asks are open​​​✉️​

✨​Let's go ! ✨

BEIDOU

As much as she loves you and wants to be with you all the time, she asks you to stay on land.

I mean, you're pregnant and what if they encounter a sea monster or something ?

Besides, on lang, there's plenty of doctors you can see in case there's a problem.

Anyway, since you can't go with her on sea, she goes on one or two trips at sea before staying on land during pregnancy. She will just plan the Alcor's trips from land and give all the work outside Liyue to her crew. If it's business inside the nation, she'll do it herself, as she still needs to do something to provide for you and your kid to be !

Completely overprotective, no one can touch you except her. With what happened in her childhood, I assume she's very protective of people who accept her as she is no matter what kind of luck she might bring. So the least problem, she will not be calm until she has confirmation that it's really fine.

If a "Karen" type of person is messing with you (with how many stories you can hear about them and pregnant women), trust me, she'll have to hold back to not put this person on life support for the rest of their life.

If at first you're staying at Liyue's Harbor, toward the end of the pregnancy, you go to Qingce Village, to be sure to relax and knowing the eledery people would do anything to help you and they probably would also know what to do if something happens.

Will totally bring you some trinkets and gifts she found or bought not this far. She would go to Liyue Harbor from time to time, to make sure everything is fine with her crew. Always bring a small gift, for you or a new toy for the kid !

Would totally carry anything for you, you're forbidden from lifting more than whatever she might see as too heavy for you (which is a bit of everything)

Her heart melts when she sees the eldery people of the village helping you out with bringing you what you might need. Even if they ask you if you would need help looking after the child or if you would like some clothes for the baby or you, or offering some food. She's very grateful for their help.

Will be the useless partner when you start to deliver. Kinda, she panics a bit too much, but she will be there to hold your hand. Well you might have broke her hand during the delivery but it's not like she mind. She knows worst and also, she knows your pain is greater than hers.

"You okay, y/n ? Oh, let me help you with this ! What do you mean you can carry it ? You're already carrying our child ! No need to do more !"

EI/RAIDEN SHOGUN

Overprotective.

She already got the trauma from the loss of her sister, no way she's gonna take any risk at losing you or your child.

She keeps your pregnancy hidden, for safety reasons.

Yae Miko is probably the kid's godmother.

Kujou Sara will be the child's fierce guardian and would be honored to teach them how to use a bow or be their preceptor.

Anyway, thanks to the kitsune, some people knew you were pregnant and the whole news spread across Inazuma.

Before you can do anything, there's a big feast to celebrate !

You're not mad at Yae Miko though. Not like you can blame her or any citizen, it was bound to happen at some point.

The entire nation congratulates you. Even Sangonomiya's shrine does it, as this new life would probably be another chance to finally establish durable peace since this new life would be the start of something new.

During pregnancy, Ei is very overprotective and never leaves you. She would let Yae Miko do half of the Shogun's work, to allow her to spend more time with you.

Given she's not human, she doesn't really get how a pregnant body works, but will ask questions to help you better. She will also read books about it, to be sure.

Brings in whatever food you crave, no matter how weird, but will mostly give you rich food, with a lot of fat and vitamins to be sure the baby will be healthy.

While Ei doesn't plan to step down, a healthy child will ensure a healthy heir in case something happens to her.

When the delivery comes around, she's there, in silence, giving you her hand. She's silent because she knows words won't do anything with the pain you're feeling. At least, that's one of the reasons she gives you and the only one she's willing to voice.

The other reason was she was silent because she knew there was a certain percentage of chance you die during delivery and she was actually praying that her sister would protect you during delivery and if you pass, she hoped Makoto would take good care of you when she couldn't.

"Hello dearest. How do you feel today ? Uh ? You want a special mushroom pizza and ... Salty dangos ? Well, as you wish."

KOKOMI

She is... Very stressed out.

She has to deal with Watatsumi Island's affair, the aftermath of war, the formation of a new army, the negotiation with the shogunate and all.

And now your pregnancy, which doesn't help her much with the amount or stress.

At this point, Gorou steps in and deals with most of Kokomi's duty on the Island or at least as much as he can do to help her and also to allow her to take time for you.

Kokomi is grateful for it.

Well, the news of your pregnancy spreads fast and the entire island is congratulating you !

Kokomi will help you anytime and all the time and the moment you start to feel unwell, she'll heal you and soothe you ! Probably very good at foot massage and will do some for you !

Starts to plan with you some education and perfect names for the kid. Please let her educate the child about strategy and shrine duty. It's not much and a kid would have a lot of free time since those things are taught when the person is mature enough to assimilate and learn such things. And it is quite easy to learn.

Probably read some strategy books to the baby inside of you. It's never too early to learn and at least, they would be able to recognise her voice !

Gorou actually helps you both without any problem and would gladly go search for a future nanny for the kid to be. Or give you anything like clothes or toys.

Bold of him to assume he won't be the kid's nanny and cool doggo uncle in the future.

Anyway, since the Divine Priestess is about to have a kid, people give you and Kokomi a lot of support, food, clothes, toys, a children's book and everything you need.

Chances are Kokomi is helping you and doctors during delivery. She talks to you and tries to take a bit of the pain away.

Heals you or at least helps your body to recover after the delivery.

"Here you are y/n ! I was looking for you, some villagers gifted us some baby clothes and other items and I was thinking maybe you would like to see what they gave us ?"

NINGGUANG

Honestly, she would hire the best doctors and maids to look after you the second she learns you're pregnant.

She's not worried. You both talked about it and it was bound to happen sooner or later with all the procedures.

Anyway, she won't stop working, since she now has to deal with Liyue's new era and guide it through the change.

The news spread immediately and all of Liyue sent you congratulations.

The adepti also sent each something, not that they cared, but they knew Ningguang was someone they couldn't ignore and if the was establishing her dynasty, then let it be, Liyue was changing and maybe this child will be the star of a new generation, the first generation to be born and live during this new era of men.

She would come to you quite often throughout the day to check if everything is good.

Would absolutely gift you the finest gifts and find the best things for the child to be.

Would be happy to see all the support, but she knows that a lot of the support isn't genuine and is people's attempt at getting in her good graces. Well, except when it comes to Liyue Qixing and Adepit's gifts.

Keqing, Yelan and Ganyu will be around a lot, excited for the baby. They all would be the aunts.

Keqing isn't exactly good with children, but she would be willing to make an effort for Ningguang's child, while Yelan is the cool rich aunt who's rarely there but each time she comes would gift something cool, while Ganyu will be the soft aunty who you could go to, to talk about anything.

Probably asks Yun Jin to be the future kid's teacher into fine arts because she trusts the young lady to do well into transmitting the delicate art of theater through education. Ningguang won't have an uncultured child as hers.

During delivery, she is in the room, sitting a bit away. She doesn't hold your hand as she needs her hand to keep working, but her presence is enough to make you feel a bit better. Besides, her being closer would bother the doctors who are well more versed into assisting someone in labor than her.

"Hi, y/n. Do you feel well ? Do you crave anything particular or do you need something else ? Maybe you want me to take some time off for today ?"

YAE MIKO

Well, her attitude doesn't change a lot.

She will tease you a lot, she loves your reactions with your hormones ! At least she has a whole new field to explore with her teasing.

Honestly, the entire shrine would be helping you with your pregnancy, and, with the news spreading a lot of people come all the way to the Grand Narukami Shrine.

The shrine maidens will offer you some predictions !

She will be there no matter what, after all it's not like she has something else to do.

Will pick up a lot of children's books for the kid to be. Maybe a lot of authors in this line will try to offer her their own books in an attempt to have a good relationship with Yae Publishing House.

Wonders if the child would be a kitsune or a human, maybe a hybrid, but how would that work ?

She would be excited and curious to explore what the child would be, so many possibilities ! And so many ways to tease them !

For sure she would tease you saying Ei was already a child so she's used to handling kids and babies.

Speaking of which, it is probably the only one Yae Miko would fully trust to be around you during pregnancy.

Ei is happy for Yae Miko and hopes for the child to grow healthy.

Ei would be that nice aunty who brings and gives whatever the kid wants while Yae Miko would be the teasing mom with some strict rules.

Yae Miko would want to teach the child how to tease as soon as they would be old enough. But she would also love to teach him about how to use a vision if he's granted one. But she'll have to wait for the birth, first

Would prepare herself anything you crave for ! Even the weirdest food, she'll happily prepare it ! It is a very good experience, sometimes you even cook together this weird dish you might want.

About the weird food, she thinks it's funny to order it actually and she loves seeing the cooks' faces when she puts an order for a udon noodle soup with a Special Mushroom Pizza's taste and deep fried tofu.

During delivery, she will hold your hand and distract you a bit by teasing you. It annoys and distracts you. She probably also let the shrine maidens do their job at helping you deliver.

"What is it, my dear ? Oh, you want me to read a book to you ? How cute. What book do you want to hear today ?"

[hutaoisagirlboss]

Why you should stop calling Zhongli Hu Tao’s paternal figure

This is not an argument to ship them, but rather an argument that calling him her paternal figure specifically is both degrading to Hu Tao, women in general and is overall creepy.

——

Why people view Zhongli as Hu Tao as grand/father and daughter:

1) This headcanon stemmed from an inside joke in China about both Zhongli and Hu Tao sharing Chinese voice actors (Bo peng and Dian Tao respectively) with Siegfried and Kiana, a dad and his adoptive daughter in another Mihoyo game. It should be noted that Bo peng also voices Dvalin, and several other characters share the same voice actors. Qiqi and Raiden Shogun share a Chinese actress as well. Yae Miko also shares a voice with Ningguang.

2) Zhongli calls Hu Tao a child in his voice line. To other adults, have you ever called your friends childish or said they’re a being kid or acting like children? He’s also at least 1,000 years older than every other character.

3) Hu Tao was attached to her grandfather, the 75th Wangsheng director. There’s no information about the 76th and Hu Tao is the 77th. The issue with calling Zhongli a fill in or stand in is that the whole reason that Hu Tao got her vision was because she overcame grief.

“At last she came to the conclusion: her grandfather's absence was due to him having passed over the border as soon as he'd arrived, to the place where he was bound. He had been open and honest in life, leaving behind no regrets, so was it right for his departure to be framed in regretful terms?

With a smile, she set forth on the return journey.

The faraway moon had been casting a thin light on the way over but had now been replaced by the bright light of dawn. As she walked, Hu Tao thought of a saying that her grandfather had often quoted: "Live in life, die in death. Follow your heart, do what you can."”

While she continues to wear his hat in his honor, she has no incentive to replace him. Why should she need to?

She’s an adult woman running her own business: “During her teenage years, Hu Tao was tasked with conducting a funeral ceremony for the first time.”

Via her story: “First thing I took over was funeral affairs. Haha, surprising huh? And just like that, it's already been a few years... Time really does go by so quickly.”

So, as an adult woman, why should she need an older man to come into her business and adopt her as an adult?

Other than the fact that she is, perhaps, seen as incompetent and unable to do so.

4) They look similar. But the same could be said for Beidou (who Hu Tao is in awe of) or Amber (who has a grandfather from Liyue). Keep in mind that Zhongli is a shapeshifter who has appeared as a dragon, a woman, etc. In my opinion they hardly look alike either.

——

Why would people see Hu Tao as needing what is essentially a conservatorship?

All of the reasons have their own massive issues. Keep in mind that Zhongli and Hu Tao most likely met as adults or she would’ve known that he doesn’t age whatsoever. She says that he looks young and she suspects he’s an adeptus, but it can be presumed that he showed up as this identity of Zhongli not too long before faking his death, since people would notice him not aging.

1) Her maturity levels. Keep in mind that Hu Tao has not had a proper childhood. She was reading classical texts at the age of 3 while doing handstands, sleeping in coffins as a kid, being around dead bodies as a kid. If you were around dead bodies all the time since childhood, wouldn’t it be fair to want a childhood? Or to feel safe with the idea that you’re still young and not going to die of old age soon? This is coming from an adult with PTSD who copes with trauma via stuff like collecting dolls, watching cartoons and making silly jokes.

It should also be noted that, like with plenty of comedians or humorous types who suffer from depression or PTSD, her sense of childishness is fake and forced in order to help her cope with trauma. We have plenty of proof of this, and nearly everyone in game recognizes that her personality is basically entirely fake:

“The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is a reputable institution that acts with integrity. But whenever I see that cheeky smile that says, "It's nothing you exorcists need to worry about," it just makes my blood boil...” - Chongyun

“Warm. Fake smile. Death. I despise Hu Tao.” - Qiqi

“It would be best not underestimate someone as whimsical as her.” - Zhongli

“It is only during funeral ceremonies, when she personally leads her undertakers through lamp-lit alleys, that she shows her dignified and solemn side.” - Her first character story

The way she acts at Lantern Rite is another reason people refer to her as Zhongli’s daughter, but think of other characters who have found time away from work to embrace a childish side such as Ayaka. Hu Tao’s entire life has been death, and she hardly has any friends to boot.

2) Her height means she’s a kid. Hu Tao is 5’1”. I’m 25 and 5’1”. How’s that even matter.

3) She no longer has any parent or grandfather present. This is essentially saying that a woman isn’t capable of owning a business on her own. Having her male subordinate take over as her paternal figure and adopt would be saying she isn’t capable of running a business on her own, which she clearly is capable. We also don’t know if the 76th director is alive or not still. Her parents or the director may have retired elsewhere.

—-

Assuming that Hu Tao is an adult, independent business owner who manages a staff on her own, we can now discuss why Zhongli being a paternal figure to her as an unrelated adult is extremely creepy.

You are an adult who lives on their own find an older mentor/parental figure, maybe a teacher or a role model or something. You live alone and look up to this mentor, then invite them to live with you, become their boss, eat meals with them, go on walks with them frequently, pay their bills and buy them things.

That is incredibly creepy. I’d never invite one of my teachers from college to move in with me so I can pay their bills, eat meals with them, etc. If Zhongli and Hu Tao did have a weird adult adoption situation, it could essentially be considered grooming.

Heavily implied they live together:

“When she was eight, she started living in the parlor and learning the etiquette of funeral ceremonies.” - She’s been living there for some time, most likely with undertakers, potentially the 76th director (or her parents if they were).

If he is simply a consultant who helps out with ceremonies for adepti, it’s super creepy that he seems a little bit lost with what to do when she’s not there. One can also assume that he doesn’t really have any other living situation, so likely he’d be homeless or at the parlor. This isn’t to say that the other undertakers don’t live there, but there is something seriously wrong about a mentor/paternal figure needing his time to be dictated by the person he is apparently authority over. He also relies on her Mora, a commonly known fact. That’s absolutely disturbing and in any teacher/student situation would be frowned upon.

This is sometimes used to show that she sees him as a father, along with the fact that she trusts him most as her story says. But as an adult woman I seriously would find it creepy to be staring at any paternal, mentor or teacher figure like that.

—

In Conclusion

Take this argument as you want to. Whether you think they do have some sort of creepy adult adoption set up, or perhaps she’s mistreating him as a boss, or they’re a couple and the whole divine date thing is in play (keep in mind, Childe is about same age as her and is the youngest of the Fatui Harbringers. Ningguang and Keqing are also way younger than him. So are Venti and Xiao. Her age doesn’t make her automatically his kid).

What I do want people to get out of this is that you should NOT glamorous the infantilization of an adult woman. Her height, the way she copes with trauma and her employee being several thousands of years older than her is no excuse. People hire people older than them all the time. Putting him in a position of power over her negates her entire character arc and trivializes the way that she copes with trauma. It negates her being a female business owner and it isn’t cute.

- From a 5’1” 25 year old diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD who has dealt with the death of both of my paternal figures at a young age.

[war--lords]

Hanayome

Warnings: Female!Reader, mild family conflict, possible inaccuracy Word count: 3,648 Tagged: #hanayome Translations and important notes:

Irouchikake is a colorful variant of the bridal kimono, while shiromuku is the kind that is all white. 

Norito chants are a form of Shinto prayer/incantation.

Shimenawa refers to the special rope used to signify something holy, like trees, for example.

Tengu literally means ‘heavenly dog’, but in mythology, they are portrayed to take the form of birds of prey.

This has really gotten out of hand—I know it’s not nearly as popular as my other fics, but I genuinely enjoy writing this, going so far as to stay up late and make multiple edits :’) So I hope you enjoy reading it!

Part 1 Part 3

2.

Not long ago you were dressed in a rush with the help of at least four other miko, and now, an intricate hairstyle sitting atop your head and donning an irouchikake, you stand before the red gate, eager to make the ascent. Your garbs are especially audacious when compared to Kiku’s shiromuku: its scarlet base, just as the god Tengu demands, brings out the black-colored designs, and on top of that are auspicious imagery filled with white and outlined in what seemed to be gold thread. It appears to shine as you walk.

If Kiku looked like winter’s first snow, you looked like autumn’s burning foliage. 

Your attire is the last thing on your mind, however. It never crossed your mind that you would actually climb up those sacred stairs to the Seiiki just the way you imagined it earlier, while you were half-asleep and angry. There is still a low fire kindling at the bottom of your gut, but it is more determination than vexation. You’ve hugged Kiku and your mother after you got dressed—they held you in their arms as if it would be their last time seeing you, but a part of your demeanor shows as though you were only meeting the god Tengu to talk. You’ve yet to decide if that’s a form of denial. 

As for your father, you knelt before him and kept your head down for the appropriate amount of time. You don’t know what kind of face he made. You don’t really care.

Something inside you tells you that it’d be better for them without you. You hastily brush that thought away, realizing that the voice is the same one who whispers only ugly things to you. It’s not as if your fate is sealed, anyway—you’re adamant to show the god Tengu that he isn’t the only one with demands, and the first one you’ll declare is for that harrowing mark on Kiku’s neck to disappear. You won’t leave until it is done.

Then again, you’re not sure if you want to go back to the temple. Do you? Unconsciously your eyebrows knit, the first symptoms of your overthinking. You’ll deal with the problem when the problem arises, you decide. Pondering won’t be of much help. 

You look back to the unmoving scene behind you: your family, standing in a row in their ceremonial garbs, followed by the whole of the temple. They are all completely still, with little to no emotion betrayed by their faces. Only Kiku appears to be misty-eyed, most likely from how downright absurd the tables turned. As your gaze falls on her you spy the red string around her neck. You choose to flash her a small smile, but you find yourself not knowing what it means. “You’ll be fine on your own”? “I’m sorry it turned out this way”? “I’ll be back”? Somehow you mean all of that and, at the same time, none of them feel right.

You spare one final glance at your parents before walking out the red gate. Despite your mild fever, your steps are wide and sure, not as fast as the vision you saw in your mind’s eye, but just as driven. The evenfall rain thins out into a light shower. Still, you have an umbrella in one hand, the traditional lantern gripped tightly by the other. The young miko from earlier follows closely behind you—she volunteered to climb again because she was “already wet anyway”, but everyone insisted that she carried an umbrella nevertheless.

If the steps aren’t so slippery you would already be running, you mentally note.

Up and up you go, feeling the air change ever so slightly with each inhale. The rustle of bamboo leaves to your left and right becomes the new silence to your ears, with only the occasional whistle of wind as an almost musical accompaniment. Rain brings out a nostalgic smell from the ground—it reminds you that your feet are still on earth, and that the soil on top of Mount Kurama the same soil on top of which the village is built.

You think that the twists and turns of the steps are rather broad compared to what it looks like from afar. In person, it feels more like a gentle change of direction, and it makes you pay more attention to the mountain, like you are feeling where the ground is level and where it slopes. Your mind maps it out almost like a human body: alive.

The thought helps especially because it feels like you are climbing a stairway to heaven.

You preoccupy yourself with the topology—anything to stave away excessive, useless rumination. You find that norito chants prove to be effective as well. 

To your disdain, however, climbing a seemingly endless flight of stairs does things to your mind. It has to be quite a while since the start of your climb, and your eyes are beginning to spin from looking at the same pattern of stones many times over. The mantras lose their purpose as soon as muscle memory takes over, your lips mechanically forming the words, robbing your mind from the necessity to think it through. Your fingers adjust their grip on the umbrella and you purse your lips.

You can’t help but think about Kiku, and you briefly wonder if she thought about you too during her ascent.

It is not off the mark for you to assume that the holy steps are also a place of trial, for the things you recall about your shared childhood with Kiku seems to highlight only the darkest moments. You know that it was overall a pleasant, peaceful experience, growing up with her, but the steps… it’s as if every single bitter knot in the deepest crevices of your mind has surfaced because of it, no matter how small and ugly they may be.

She is the temperate lake to your forest fire.

Not exactly loving words coming from a father, but not exactly lies. Kiku has always been the milder one, and you know that this has led to her being more well-liked. She isn’t absolutely obedient and meek, but compared to you, she appears so. After all, you are always the one to question, accepting the argument that inevitably occurs in the aftermath. Perhaps that was why you weren’t as popular with the boys when you were young—you were close to plenty of them, but only as a friend, never a love interest. 

Kiku was very popular. Still is. In fact, when that fateful arrow shot the temple roof, many brave—borderline foolish—men offered a more... confrontational kind of solution in hopes of saving her from her destiny. Your father declined, however. They would simply perish before the god Tengu and further fuel his anger, which would do the village no favors whatsoever. You remember how it was the same back in the day—a lot of boys enjoy helping out Kiku, perhaps viewing her as nothing more but a powerless pretty girl, but you were always there for her first. Subconsciously, your lips tug into a small smile.

With that many pursuers, you wonder if Kiku had any lovers. You recall some who were close to capturing her heart, but she was very young and feeble, maybe a little scared of the idea about a relationship—especially after your father found out about one particular boy she was close to and drove him off, forbidding Kiku from ever seeing him again. His family wasn’t distinguished enough in your father’s eyes, this much you understood even while you were younger. You remember feeling angry about it.

“I swear I love him,” she cried in your arms that night, “so much...”

That was probably the hardest she’s ever cried in front of you.  

On the other hand, your luck was never in the romantic sphere, so to speak. There were men interested in you, but it never lasted. You had your fair share of rejecting their advances because you just thought a relationship wasn’t what you wanted, and you also had to go through some painful, confusing experiences with the man suddenly growing disinterested and leaving. It brought you an amount of self-doubt, which later on grew to become rooted insecurities that you somehow couldn’t blame on anyone.  

You’re sure Kiku has her own problems to deal with, a sentiment that you think she shares. This could be largely why the two of you were never gravely jealous of each other—a level of empathy and communication led the two of you to an understanding that you are different and it’s okay.

It’s okay. The thought serves more like a promise than a statement because you feel your legs begin to ache. The repeating stone patterns seem to be all your eyes can see and it’s starting to make you sick. 

Just a little more, you think, as the stairs make yet another turn.

——————————

You don’t know if it’s fatigue or fog, but by the time you reach the peak, everything seems so cloudy it looks like a dream. The air is significantly colder on top of the mountain, and you’re suddenly grateful for the many layers of your bridal ensemble—they are not made for warmth, but in its abundance you find comfort. The forest’s rustles fill the silence, though the wind isn’t as strong now.

In front of you are stairs no more, only single leveled stone path with flaming bamboo torches on its left and right despite the consistently light rain. Holy flames, you note, and the way it looks more white than gold reminds you of the arrow. There’s a faint throbbing in your chest, making you stop in your tracks for a moment. 

She will climb up Mount Kurama to meet her groom and dwell in the Seiiki with him forever.

You feel the young miko’s gaze behind you, watching, perhaps in concern from your sudden inaction. You allow yourself to let out a sigh as you start to walk again. 

Swiftly, the flames of the torches parallel to you disappear with a whoosh, as though they were blown away by something. You are indeed taken aback, but manage to keep your emotions hidden, continuing to walk the stone path. For all you know, there could be watchful eyes in places you can’t see—the god Tengu attracts devotees with many powers that can be used to harm mankind should he wills it. 

You walk on, trying to ignore the way each torch blows out when you pass them. You look up at the sky from under your umbrella—it’s so nice to finally be able to see it again, after what seems like hours of climbing and looking down at your feet to make sure you don’t slip. The night is dark and the rain remains insistent, but you can see the clouds beginning to drift away, revealing stars that look too close to be real. 

Not long after you discovering a wide clearing to what seems like a terribly unassuming, unmistakably old mansion, albeit not the kind of old that is worn throughout the years. It is the kind of old you don’t see, but feel. And yet its feeling is as plain as day, even the most spiritually detached can see it—that this is a place of utmost sanctity, one that a daughter of a head priestess such as yourself hasn’t experienced.

Shimenawa ropes are tied together from the bronze poles that surround the mansion’s court. Wordlessly, you turn around to look at the young miko—she already knows what to do, this being her second ascent within less than a day. From the bundle of cloth, she takes out a jug and a single rice ball, her meal before she returns, traversing down those same treacherous stairs to the temple. You watch as she makes herself comfortable, sitting down at a spot at the end of the path. Filled with sympathy, you wonder why she willingly undertook the task, and if you’ll ever see her again after stepping foot beyond the shimenawa.

Offering her a long bow, you take one last look at the miko—she can’t be much older than you—before bracing yourself to face the inevitable. According to the ancient decree, only head priests are allowed in the temple, but you suppose the god Tengu can bend as many rules as he wants as long as he’s the one who designed them. 

You lean down to grab the rope. Holding it above and over you, you step in, both feet touching the court’s cobblestones. Nothing happens. Were you not meant to be here, how will you perish? Thunder? Fire? A flock of the god Tengu’s hawks, from the stories, descending from the sky to pierce at your flesh and gouge your eyes out?

...or maybe an arrow to the heart?

Your chest throbs yet again. The many distracting thoughts your mind conjures make you feel like your head is crowded and full, so you decide to count each step you take towards the mansion. Its obvious entrance, marked by more torches, is facing you, the symmetry of the building conveniently letting you know where to go—straight ahead.

One. Two. Three. Four. Your heart starts beating faster than it should.

The sound of your geta on the ground echoes, five, six, seven, eight, and you watch the lights in the mansion. Somebody is home. You wonder if you’ve ever been this nervous, because by the eighth, ninth, tenth step, the butterflies inside your stomach have multiplied, their wings fluttering up a storm. A minor shiver racks up your spine and you feel your fever coming back twofold. There’s cold sweat on your nape.

Eleven, twelve, thirteen. You will yourself not to look back at the young miko—has she gotten enough rest?—for fear that you will abandon your mission. But you can’t. You don’t want to. Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen steps in, and you remember Kiku’s neck, the crumpled paper from the arrow slipped in your obi, the white fire. Suddenly the butterflies are powerless, dissolving like cotton flowers on a lake. Your heart might still be beating as fast as a rabbit’s, but you feel purpose coursing through your veins. 

It takes you fifty steps to reach the mansion’s entrance, and by that time you feel the fog clouding your mind has been lifted. Besides the dryness of your throat, nothing else seems uncomfortable, even the heavy irouchikake isn’t as heavy as it was at the beginning of your ascent. You’ve never felt more present, more centered and grounded. All your doubts purged by the stairs, leaving you light but not faint. 

You are exactly where you need to be.

Realizing that your lantern is unneeded, you place it gently in front of the stairs towards the door. You walk up, counting each of them. Fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three, fifty-four.

The sliding door opens without any prompting, and you find yourself unsurprised. He is expecting a guest, after all—one that is supposed to stay forever. You look ahead, taking in the interior as much as you can without delaying your arrival too much. The god Tengu lives in the mansion of an emperor, which is arguably modest considering his godliness. A straight hallway lies in front of you, leading you to the next door. 

Your chest responds as the door behind you closes, this time not a dull ache, but a more powerful shudder. Strangely enough, you don’t find it painful anymore.

——————————

Kiku is right—the room is large, a throne room for royalty. He sits in the middle, at the very end of the room, like a languid yet expectant royalty. To an unassuming person, he appears to be just as human as you are, no more than thirty years of age. He wears the finest of fabrics, the designs on his kimono lavish and grand. Like the rest of the room, he wears scarlet lots of black, including a feathery cape on his back. His seat on the carnelian dais is simple in comparison to how you imagine most thrones would look like, but it is the ceiling-high decorations and ornaments surrounding it, colored in red, black and gold, that makes it impressive.

No, that isn’t right. It is he who makes it impressive. Intimidating. Powerful.

Just like in the stories, he has a face of a hawk, except that it is a mask. It covers half of his face, revealing only his mouth and the lower part of his face to view. You notice there are no holes for his eyes to see—the only explanation is that he doesn’t need them. The swoop of the hawk’s bill forms a sharp silhouette that makes you wonder if it can cut through skin.

The mask can’t, but the real hawk on his shoulder most definitely can. It watches you with caution from its perch, its yellow eyes seemingly shining through black feathers. You notice two black dogs, one on each side, sitting just underneath his feet below the dais. Under their paws are brilliant red orbs, which look a lot like their blood eyes.

“Come closer.”

His voice booms even from so far away, and it doesn’t look like he’s trying to be loud at all. You find yourself unable to take your eyes off of him as you walk down the room. The beating of your heart in your ears are deafening on top of the silence. Is it because you are facing a god that your mortal body can’t take it? You might be filled with resolve, but it’ll meaning absolutely nothing should your heart decide to explode.

With his hands he lets you know that he wants you in front of him—he steps down from the dais, and at that moment you notice that the cape you thought he was wearing turns out to be a pair of broad wings. The air around you moves as they flap once, as if to stretch. He waits for you.

Standing in front of him, you find your self-awareness extremely heightened. He is taller than you, with wider shoulders and an unmistakable aura of inhuman authority. Despite all this, however, he does not extort any fear out of you at all. In fact, he is strangely... comforting. Like something you’ve known your whole life.

Kiku’s voice rings in your ears just then. He said your name... he wants you.

“The paper,” he says, holding out his hand. There are no echoes to his voice anymore.

You reach for the crumpled slip and took it out, giving it to him with both hands.

He receives it on his palm, and instantly the calligraphic character on it emits a strong light, beaming up holy rays to the ceiling. You feel your breath knocked out of you—your chest. It’s hot. And then, excruciating pain. Too much for you to bear, too agonizing you can’t make a sound, your mouth feebly opening in a silent scream. It spreads through your nerves and you can sense them so clearly like they’re burning paths on your skin. Your hands clutch your chest in fear of your heart bursting out of your ribcage. Tears begin to form in your eyes, closed from the sheer pain of it all. 

A second later it’s over, the ‘marriage’ kanji returning to its dull ink color, and in that moment all the strength escapes your body. Everything—from the ascent, from your dream, from when the arrow first struck your home, from the years of your life before all this—they’ve all been let go from you, merely sands through your fingers. You’re about to fall face-first from the weakness in your knees but he knows, bringing you into his arms until you seem ready to stand on your own. His hands on your waist and back are pleasantly warm. 

“Red looks exquisite on you.”

“Yes, but it isn’t so flattering on Kiku. Reverse that enchantment on her at once.”

“My, you’ve always been one fireball, haven’t you,” he replies with a chuckle. It reverberates from his chest to yours, and there’s something immediately calming about the sound. “It has been done,” he says, showing you the paper in his hand. It doesn’t look much different, but you can clearly notice the absence of its spiritual force. You felt it first-hand.

As you slowly depart from the security of his arms, trying to regain your bearings, you feel his hand on your forehead.

“You are still warm,” he declares, emotions unreadable from under the mask. “We shall continue this somewhere more appropriate for you to rest.” He knows you have much to discuss with him—he is a god, after all. At this point, nothing should surprise you. 

“I’m fine,” you quickly say, and it suddenly strikes you that you’re not sure how to address him.

“Tengu is the name given to the people for them to worship me. To those who are in equal standing as I, I am called Nobunaga. You are my bride,” his hand wills you to look up, a finger under your chin, “thus you are my equal.”

His bride. It hasn’t sunk in yet, but somehow the title is now more palatable than when you first heard it. As if it were destined. You blink, hoping for the thought to go away. Perhaps being in close quarters with a god makes it easier for him to make you feel more inclined to his wishes?

But ‘Nobunaga’... how odd. It sounds like it could be the name of any other man in the village. You look at where his eyes are supposed to be behind the mask.

“Are you going to read my mind throughout the entirety of this meeting?”

“Only to warm you up,” he says, lips curling into a dangerous smirk. He turns around, walking towards a sliding door. With the pain in your chest completely gone, you follow closely behind.