#and i guess i want to scream into the void about it bc it'd destroy the people around me to know that i'm ignoring my boundaries for them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

malpractice-morale · 2 years

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i simultaneously am really great at putting up boundaries and really shit. my body and mind are literally screaming at me to just hole up and isolate for a few days to GET SOME FUCKING RESPITE but my morals are like 'what do your exams mean in comparison to xyz' and i always come up with 'nothing'

#i love my friends i would never do this otherwise #but my introverted ass can't anymore #and i swear the fact that i am almost burned out rn is related to the fact that my best friend has slept over 8/10 nights #with stopping by all other days #which is fine and i would never tell her no bc the alternative to her being at my place sucks so much more than anything it's doing to me #but at the same time GOD i want peace and quiet and just some time alone to myself with my thoughts #same thing with a friend of mine who is scared because she has to get surgery #to have a day where i don't have to go anywhere would be fucking amazing #but she is scared and has every right to be and i KNOW that i'm the person in her life that she is counting on to remember her when she die #like that is essentially the premise of our entire relationship so of course i will drive to the hospital to visit her #saying no would be a cruelty i could never put her through #and i guess i want to scream into the void about it bc it'd destroy the people around me to know that i'm ignoring my boundaries for them #but i also can't just take a day of to relax bc i have a (luckily not graded) exam on Monday an important deadline on the 12th #and a terrifying exam on the 16th

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