#and i know i don't owe an explanation but this is the only place ppl don't really know me

[funnylittlelad]

not to be depressing but:

i have been sitting with a semi-official hEDS diagnosis for days. if my genetic test comes back clear of anything else, that's it. i finally have my answer for why my body is Like This. i know what's up and i can do something about it. except i'm so used to being told that whatever we thought was the problem isn't and it's time to move on to the next thing. that part is over now and idk... i guess i just never thought i'd end up with a diagnosis other than early onset arthritis. it isn't as liberating as i'd hoped it'd be. now that i know, i know there are things i've lost that i can never get back. i know that there was a chance it didn't have to be this bad, if my parent with hEDS had been proactive and acknowledged it. i know the risks that i didn't sign up for, but have to take anyways by virtue of being alive in this body. i've been trying to feel like it's not that big of a deal since i've lived with it this long anyways, but it's not really working. my life looks different now and i'm admittedly struggling to adjust. my health has deteriorated so much in the last year alone. i'm scaling back on school and scaling up on doctors. i don't even care about the consequences for school anymore. i just want to feel like a person again.

[fourthemarauders]

Rating the marauders era characters with little to no explanation

Inspired by @atyd1960

1. Remus lupin-

he's kind of my reason to stay alive, and my 13th reason all at once, and I love complicated things.

2.lily evans-

One day I hope to be my full lily self. Also she's hot and smart and hot and Jewish I love her.

3. Sirius black-

Honestly,I was a bit cooled off by him, but I just saw an edit of the OG SIRIUS BLACK (gary), and now im back with him being in my top 5 obsessions

4.james-

I don't fucking owe ya an explanation.

5. Marlene-

It's actually regulus, but I want bianca to almost pass out.

6. Mary and Marlene-

I can't decide who I love more (if you'll understand, it's like deciding who's my fav driver- max, or Danny. They are both my precious little baby angels) except here it's two complicated feminist hot lesbians who I will do everything they'll tell me to (I actually don't know about Mary's sexuality only that she's trans the rest I'm trying to figure the fuck out)

7. Pandora sybil and dorcas-

I feel like some people will call this cheating, but these strong, powerful, slightly odd (in dorcas's case. The rest of them are lunatics) witches whom I'm in love with and can never let go of them.

But I do think you should count them as 6th place bc I don't favore any of the girls over another.

7. Frank and Alice-

Don't want to explain go fuck yourself.

8. Andromeda-

She's cool.

9.ted-

He's Jewish, and he seems nice

10.peter-

I hate him for what he did, but I don't hate him as much as putting him what low he has been a good friend (until he wasn't 💀)

10.xeno-

I just don't know enough about him to put him higher, but he's higher.

10. Evan-

I don't hate him just hate some of the ppl who hw hengs out with.

Btw I just saw the og version of ale and I feel like I'm doing a horrible job but fuck it. My weird brain can rate ppl however I want to.

The rest are ppl I hate/don't know enough about.

The ppl who I hate are all in the lowest rated place.

Another thing. McGonagall is in 1st place but higher than rwmus she's killing it.

[lighthouseas]

This is genuinely not meant to sound hateful and I know this isn't necessarily your place to speak on bc everyone has their own reasons but maybe you can explain it to me because its something I don't understand and I haven't been on Tumblr long. I've seen a lot of ppl on Tumblr delete their account and then come back and I don't understand why? It's sad to me because then they have to look for their old mutuals, they lose their posts, and essentially have to start from scratch. I just don't understand the concept of deleting your account only to return when you can simply make a post and pin it or put in your bio that your taking a break. Of course no one owes anyone an explanation but I just feel that would be easier than deleting your account and starting anew once you decide you want to have fun in fandom again. And if ppl feel pressured to post while away they can just delete the app so they don't have to look at it. I know I've seen some people delete their accounts thinking they won't return because the app may be toxic at the moment or boring so this question doesn't apply for reasons like that because I understand that but yeah. Like I said I know this may not be your place because everyone has their own reasons but I've seen it happen a lot on Tumblr and I don't understand. This is not meant to be hateful and this isn't about anyone in particular. I've just seen it happen with a lot of accounts and one of my fav accounts did deactivate recently so it did get me thinking.

yeah honestly i think it just depends on the person! for some people, starting anew is exactly what they want to do. me personally, if i ever want to leave tumblr my account is going to stay active, i'll just log off. but that doesn't always work for some people! sometimes it's a mental health thing, sometimes it's just a way to quickly delete your online presence, etc etc. again, it just depends on the person and i will never ever judge anyone for deactivating! the internet can be scary and weird and toxic and sometimes starting fresh or just putting an end to things can feel nice. i'm sure there's other reasons, too, but those are just the ones that came to mind.

hope that cleared things up a bit!

[bulletbilltime]

Ok I need to vent about "LIKES DO NOTHING" discourse because I have had Thoughts for months now.

These are just feelings without much coherent thought put into them so lmk if I get something wrong. (LONG POST WARNING)

I'm gonna start by saying that I agree with the message that's INTENDED to be spread. Letting people know that reblogs are an important and essential part of Tumblr's ecosystem is good! Tumblr not having (much of, anyway) an algorithm is an important part to emphasize to newcomers of the website. And I know *why* people prefer getting reblogs to likes on their art purely from an exposure angle: reblogs expose the art to more people, who will themselves maybe like it and reblog it to more people.

That being said, the way people act about likes is... genuinely bothersome to me. There's a really fucking weird framing of likes as literally The Worst Thing Ever. Like you're a complete and utter monster for having the gall to show appreciation for their work. And all that really does is make ppl feel guilty about how they curate their blog. "Why would they not reblog the work then, if they like it???" Well there's many reasons! They might not want to share nsfw content to their followers. They might not want to spoil their followers with fanart of the latest episode of a show. They might have specific criteria for reblogging! Maybe they have a family member following them, and they don't want to be outed for liking queer stuff! I don't think anyone particularly owes anyone an explanation for liking only.

"Why not use a side blog to reblog then, if any of the above apply?" Because that blog won't have the followers of that other blog? Why would you want someone to reblog from a dummy account, if that account has nearly nobody following them? That would be defeating the purpose of the reblog in the first place; all you'd get out of it is an extra Note, which makes it functionally indistinguishable from a like.

Now I want to focus on the one thing that annoys me the most about the framing of this discourse: the idea that people only like because they think it'll boost the engagement. This is why I think people say ridiculous stuff like "likes do nothing". Well, let me tell you something. C'mere real close.

LIKES ARE FOR LIKING THINGS.

It's in the NAME! People "like" things to show their appreciation for a piece of art/meme/etc! I highly doubt that people who only like art do so with the delusion that what they actually help the artist get more exposure, even on other social media websites. The average layperson leaves a like to show they enjoyed a post. That's it. They don't think about The Algorithm, they just see post and hit like. That's how people act on other social media websites, and I'd wager even a good chunk of "old-hat" Tumblr users do this too.

Are they in the wrong for doing that? Well I think that varies from person to person, but I personally appreciate any interaction on an art post. Sure, reblogs get more eyes on things, and that's highly valuable to get even more likes, so I absolutely do love getting reblogs, but I'm not about to get mad at every single person who likes without reblogs. I also just think that's a very unhealthy attitude to have about art in general, which leads me to my next point:

The internet as a whole just... sucks for artists. It's an annoying and unfortunate truth, but this feeling of "oh my work doesn't get nearly enough attention as I wish it did"? I've experienced it everywhere I posted content to. Whether that was DeviantArt or Twitter or w/e, it's always been the same thing. I don't tend to accrue a lot of followers for the work I do in general, and that means that my content will only get a handful of engagements, if any at all. And I know a lot of other artists face that issue, and it's because of a very simple fact: THERE IS SO MUCH ART ONLINE. Fact of the matter is, you're gonna be fighting against others for exposure, and luck is basically the only real way people can break out of that initial circle.

And on a similar lane: fanart and memes just get more interaction as a whole because they are more "shareable". Memes are just easy to share because they're funny and very accessible to most people. Fanart isn't as accessible, but it still has a potential audience if your follower base has enough fans in it, or if you're friends with ppl who like similar things to that work. But original art just doesn't have as much of a shareability. You'd think they would be more accessible by virtue of not being tied to a fandom... but because it's not tied to something people can easily search, original art gets decimated in the interactions department, unless you have a pre-existing fanbase.

I don't think this is a problem with an easy solution. And I certainly don't think shaming people is going to be the way, tbh.

But wouldn't this be all the more reason to push back and demand that people to reblog and not just like? Well... on to my next point: The Internet at large has rarely looked kindly upon those who beg for attention and interactions. People literally make fun of calls to actions on YouTube, after all. So I fear people are going to turn on people who post things like "reblogs > likes" and whatnot. I've already noticed a good amount of people beginning to get actively mad towards this sort of attitude, and passive-aggressive polls that are like "do YOU support our reblogs in blue????". I don't think this aggressive reblog shaming trend is going to end well IMO.

But reblogs are the life source of Tumblr, right? If people don't want to reblog... then won't that kill the site? Well... I guess that's the tricky spot: for artists that need commissions to make a living, there's a genuine reason for wanting art to be shared. Exposure translates to commissions for them. And if they can't get exposure, they'll have to turn towards other means of making a living. And if a lot of artists have to stop making art or leave Tumblr... then yeah that would suck for the site. Like, don't get me wrong, as annoyed as I am towards how weirdly petty these posts are, I understand why they're made. And I'm all for encouraging more support to artists, but this ain't it y'all.

So how can we promote supporting artists without shaming? Well... here's some suggestions:

Let's stop this weird culture around shaming likes. This isn't getting anywhere and it's only gonna make people turn away from interacting with art at all. Can you imagine if YouTubers started getting angry at people who don't leave a like or subscribe? Like, genuinely making passive aggressive posts and videos about them? That would be wack, right? So let's not be like that.

Second, I think that emphasizing the GOOD that reblogs can do should be encouraged. Examples: "Reblogs get more eyes on art! If you really like an artist's content, reblog it and it might lead to that artist getting more followers! If you reblog, you're doing your part in helping an artist get exposure!" People want to feel like they're doing a good thing, so help them see the good that reblogging does, rather than lecturing on the evils of not doing so.

Third... do your part! Go look for artists who don't have a lot of interactions, and reblog their work! Spending your energy interacting with fellow artists, making connections, and supporting each other's work is going to do so much more in the long run than trying to fight a losing battle with General Internet Apathy. Besides, a reblog from asspissballs69 isn't going to have nearly as much of an impact as a reblog from someone who actually has a following. Tumblr doesn't have algorithms, but follower counts do still matter even if we can't see them.

Fourth, if we wish to actually change the hearts and minds of "Serial Likers", we need to actually understand why people like in the first place. One point I can think of is that people who come in from other social media may be afraid to spam their followers with things they like. I think that's absolutely an aspect of Tumblr that doesn't really carry over as well to other websites, and putting more emphasis on that should be done. Personally, this was my biggest obstacle to embracing reblogging fanart. So I think having more empathy and understanding of the issue, and addressing concerns these people may have would go a long way in helping us make the case for reblogging.

If you've read this far, thanks for engaging with this rambly post! If you have objections to the arguments I make, feel free to reply but BE CIVIL and constructive. I *will* block people who get aggressive or read in bad faith.

[pumpumdemsugah]

Honestly, the only reason I want to be a lesbian is bcus penis has always completely repulsed me and I worry about being transphobic if I don't identify as bi bcus I've been attracted to trans guys with vaginas b4. Honestly it's just the dick and an overbearing violating masculinity I cant take so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to identify as. I really do wish men just didnt exist. I feel silly but damn it's so confusing T_T

Anon just because you can potentially be attracted to someone doesn’t mean you owe it to ANYONE to date them. Often women are guilted into feeling like we’ve committed a crime for knowing what we want sexually. There is nothing wrong with your desires

Sexuality is about desire and want. You seem to know what you want and nothing is wrong with it. In a way its not confusing because you know what you want and if you’re looking for someone to give you permission to admit that out loud to yourself, i’m giving it to you right now but please come to a place where the fact that you know what you like means its your God given right to desire it

Sex characteristics are a fundamental part in how sexuality functions  and you don’t owe it to anyone to assure them the only reason you don’t like dick is because its gross. Its enough that you don’t want it. Women’s sexuality can and do exist where dick has nothing to do with it, many women experience sexuality the way you do. Orientation isn’t about validation or inclusiveness, its not a club or a movement but a description of human sexuality 

You don’t like dick and you don’t like masculinity so start reveling in what you want. If you want pussy every single day of your life until you die i support you

At the end of that day its you and the person you’re with that’s going to be with each other, not these nobodies in the peanut gallery that thinks sexuality is about validation and not desire. Desire isn’t a duty or community resource 

Maybe you are a lesbian maybe you aren’t, that’s your journey to take but if you are bi, please understand you do not owe it to the LGBT community to be some dumping ground for validation because you’re supposed to like everyone. If you only ever want to date women that are exactly 5′7 and no one else , even if  you’re attracted to all people, you actually don’t owe random people an explanation (as long as you don’t treat ppl weird and everyone feels good and respected ). You’re not a validation centre but a person 

You’re not silly, people are pressuring you to make you feel bad

You don’t need permission to never see dick every again

[phanbliss]

i'm asking out of a place of wanting to understand, so please don't assume i am accusing you or attacking you, but regarding a post you reblogged recently, it was an ask where templeofshame claimed that if dnp weren't together it would be kind of like "baiting" us but i really don't think that's fair? they haven't EVER said or pretended to be in a closeted relationship, only been friends that joke a bit about their occasionally romantic tendencies, i have friends who think me pt.1

this ask is long due to there being several messages, so i’m putting it under a cut. the post in question: x

me and my best friend are together when we’re really not. we’ve said so, but eventually just stopped denying the claim while occasionally joking about it. i think its unfair of us to act like they owe us something? they don’t owe us a “coming out” (i agree with op tho that coming out has issues of it own, but its the most relevant term) neither do they have to tell us if they aren’t together. 

however we perceive their relationship is our business, and as long as we aren’t toxic about it pt. 2  then really we shouldn’t care about ppl calling us “silly shippers” cause shipping them isn’t weird or rude, i, myself, truly believe they are together, but i don’t think that they owe us anything. they are real people with their own complex lives that we may not understand, heck, that THEY may not understand and they are just living their truth. for whatever reason, they may feel that they don’t want to tell people that they’re in a relationship (if they are in one) pt. 3but neither do they feel the need to (and in my opinion, shouldn’t feel the need to) explain and clarify their status to us.

 it isn’t in any way baiting or manipulation. if we decide to invest our lives and our time into writing fanfics and making art then that is our choice! they are obviously fine with it so long as it isn’t shoved in their faces, but they don’t owe us clarification, maybe i’m misunderstanding something, i just don’t think it’s fair to say that they are being manipulative pt.4simply by being themselves? 

they are their own people with their own reasons for keeping private or not telling us. they have never pretended like phan is real, have even denied it in the past, never made merch or something that has catered to shippers specifically. they have simply let us be (even if dan was quite rude about it before, but i believe he has improved a lot over the years) and made some quips about it. they choose to share parts of their lives with us and however pt5 the phandom reacts to that is our “issue”. 

in summary, i believe that it is unfair to say that if they aren’t together it means we have been baited and manipulated and “wasted our time” because i really don’t think that’s fair to the good times we have had while shipping them. they are real people that owe us nothing about their private lives and can hide or reveal as much or as little as they want. i do believe that some people DO “queerbait” irl, especially ytbrs, but dnp have never pt.6acted fake or overly romantic to seem like they’re in love, their bond, in my opinion is genuine, and whatever we read into that is valid, but it doesn’t mean that they owe us an explanation. 

i think i should end this now, but before i go, know that i do NOT intend this to be a dig at anyone, just wanted to share my perspective and ask your opinion about what i’ve just shared. i just see ppl acting like dnp could qb us and it kind of makes me think. have a nice day, take care, peace out! end 

ooof anon, i appreciate that you sent this to me, but i’m really not the right person for it! i’m not one of the smart people in this fandom, nor one of the cool ones, so discussing things with me over anon is not as fun and rewarding as sending an ask to one of the popular people haha. but i’ll reply with my thoughts anyway!

we’ve had discussions about this on IDB before and my opinion hasn’t changed since the last time i said anything on this subject.

TO BEGIN WITH:  i in no way believe they are consciously encouraging the shipping to make money. they are two people in a long term relationship that navigate a difficult world of being queer, being popular and trying to stay private.

1) “me and my friend” - while i definitely appreciate and understand that, we have to try to not compare dnp to ourselves if we want to make a proper point. i could say that me and my friend x haven’t talked in 2 years but i still consider them a friend, which doesn’t mean that it’s the norm for everyone - same goes for the “me and my friend” arguments concerning dnp. i don’t mean you necessarily, i mean things i’ve seen over the years. “me and my friend always say i love you! we live together! we spend all our time together! we’re platonic!” - that’s awesome but it doesn’t mean anything about dnp

2) i don’t think @templeofshame acted like dnp owe us anything. i took it more as like at this point, dnp admitting to having been platonic this whole time (lol i’m laughing while typing this) would have been a form of queerbaiting. templeofshame never said they owe us a “coming out” or anything like that

3) you have to remember that their audience is largely queer. to a lot of the younger fans, they are some sort of role models and maybe even eye-openers when it comes to their [fans’] own sexuality. they are most likely aware of this and definitely accept it.

4) the biggest thing i guess i should explain is why i believe that them having been platonic this whole time would have been some form of queerbaiting and… and there is no way to put it while still being nice? so forgive me, this is my opinion and i’m not trying to start drama.

they DEFINITELY benefit off phan. they have since the start (or at least dan). back in their younger days, people didn’t really ship them as much as assume they were a couple, that’s how they behaved and most people would jump to that conclusion. when shit hit the fan (vday + general life stress) and dan started lashing out, shipping got real hard. and dnp could have left it there, could have left shipping as that elephant in the room that we’re not allowed to mention, but no

slowly, gradually, they went back to accepting shipping. they haven’t denied anything in years and in many ways they encourage it. and really, no one will make me believe that they - as in the joint brand of dan and phil - would be as popular as they are without the shipping. lots of people watch them for their chemistry and hear of them through phan. they themselves no longer shy away from it - see tatinof fanfic scenes, their fanfics in tabinof, all sorts of things i’m too tired to mention - lots of recent things from this year.

so yeah, i believe they are very aware of phan and accept it, and if they accepted it while being two bros in ~other relationships~ or ~perpetually single~ then yeah, i would feel it’s wrong. not because they said something outright but because 9+ years of certain behaviors are as good as admitting to it. 

they are basically out at this point, both as not being straight and being a couple, and i’m happy they got there on their own terms.

bottomline - i firmly believe they’re together and all that is missing is an actual confirmation - which we don’t ‘need’ - but if they weren’t together, we’d be right to be upset by this point.

idk if this answered your ask but i’m really tired and as i said, i’m dumb so you’re better off asking someone cooler than me hah :)