#and i loved their characterization of him so much that i osmosed it into my own interpretation of him

[press-f-to-rat]

So. I might have done a thing. A friend (LOOKING AT YOU @kingassblast ) got me into Darkest Dungeon. And I got attached to Bigby and now I've been writing about my new favorite little scrungly pretty much non-stop.

We were just rambling to each other in DMs when suddenly, I had an idea for a prompt: "Paracelsus' research of the Beast finally amounts to something."

And so, I got to writing a little bit :))) Naturally, this isn't canon compliant, but simply a little what if. I know a lot of people (Myself included) really like to make Para and Bigby friends, so. I wanted to write a little something that perhaps would create a rift between them :) a little angst, as a treat :))

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me. Hope you enjoy!! It's below the "read more" :)

'Y-you created your own?!" Bigby's voice thundered through the air, shaking all the delicate glassware Paracelsus kept in her laboratory. "A-and not just that, but—You...you inflicted it upon yourself? V-Voluntarily?!" His voice trembled with some form of horrified rage, that anyone would willingly bring his own wretched curse upon themself.

Paracelsus, on the other hand, spoke with her typical level-headedness, though she could not stop the flow of cool indignation bubbling up from deep within her. “But think of the progress that will come of this! Should you not be glad that perhaps your curse might bring about some good?"

“What g-good could outweigh the d-damage done by bringing another m-m-monster into the world?!"

She could see the green ichor bulging in his veins with every word, the outlines only growing more apparent with his rage.

“Bigby," the Plague Doctor countered, "I have it entirely under my control. My experiments have made sure of that. It cannot harm anyone unless I will it.”

“Th-That is what it wants you to think! And then—wh-when your guard is down—it will exact i-its vengeance!" His voice felt edged with the bile of his blood, seeping from the dark recesses of his mind, where the Beast lurked. Betrayal—That was what this was! She had betrayed his trust! He had thought she would help him—Use the Eldritch poison in his veins to ease the curse. But this! No, no good could come of this. This was madness.

“If I knew that th-this is what y-you were going to use m-m-my blood for, then—I n-never would have let you h-have it.” The words burned in the air where they hung, hot with fury and pain.

There was a pang in Paracelsus’ chest—Was that guilt? Oh, but she knew guilt, and she knew how to bottle it away in her mind like any other poison she’d dealt with. “Then you’re simply ignorant to the potential it holds.” She hissed.

Bigby said nothing. Instead, his blood boiling with rage, he stretched his lips into a snarl, showcasing row after row of sharp, animalistic fangs. A roar erupted from his throat as he tore out of her laboratory, nearly ripping the door off its hinges and slamming it behind him so hard the building shook.

The Plague Doctor sighed wearily, removing the thick, leather gloves she wore to reveal her own hands, unexpectedly transfigured into scaly claws. She flexed her fingers and clicked her ebony talons against one another, feeling her brows furrow beneath her mask. Perhaps that conversation had affected her more than she thought.

Perhaps… perhaps this was a mistake.

But there was no going back from here. Her choice was made, and no matter what happened, she would have to live with it.

It was only now that she took the time to question… What had she done?

[tigerdrop]

read your barmey fic as soon as it dropped and lemme tell ya its good. i knew yoi were gonna write this guy to be the worst kinda dude and im so glad you did. love the way you characterize him and im waiting so patiently for the next chapter!!

LMFAO thank u so much . it was actually wayyy easier to write barmey than it was freemind, because i Know this man. ive Experienced him. ive Been him. (disclaimer: literally everything about him ive just osmosed from other ppl writing about him. i know this isnt really my style but ive only ever watched barneys mind for like 2 episodes before i had to call it quits. it hurts, bro)

freemind is a totally different beast though. i was really into freemans mind in high school and felt compelled to go back and watch some things to get his cadence right and.....man. he really does not say "fuck" as much as i write literally everybody else saying "fuck". i had to defucken him. i have to do this with every single thing i write b/c if i dont ill end up using the word "fuck" and its variations 60+ times in like 8k words. my inner dialogue is just that way, man

[spiritchat]

Our Life's Rhythms

At a funeral service for one of my wife's good friends this week, the priest spoke about the rhythm of our lives... and the importance of being aware of this rhythm and being in harmony with it, so that we may grow in inner peace...

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; - Ecclesiastes 3

This reminder made me reflect upon the rhythm of my own life, and my awareness (or lack) of it on a daily basis. So much of our daily actions seem to be done on auto-pilot. Many of our habits and routines serve us well as they lend structure and stability to our life, which are important for good health. However, certain life events can find us examining, questioning the habits that make up a large part of our life's rhythms. In music, rhythm refers to a "systematic arrangement of muscial sounds according to duration and periodic stress".

In life, rhythm refers to any repetitive pattern - the morning meditation, the lunch-time walk, the evening tea, and more. A lot of our rhythmic patterns are informed by our current goals in life, and that which we hold important in the forefront of our consciousness. If we are concerned about some aspect of our health, we may be in a a health-awareness rhythm. Education and career, relationships with family, friends and community - all have their own unique influence on our life's rhythms. And when our rhythm is off, we know that it is time to seek out those who can help us get our groove back!

One person who was a master-tuner for me and my life's rhythm was my Dad. A man of few words, he spoke loudly through his dedication to his family and his work. Now that I think about it, he was highly aware of the rhythm of his own life. He knew how to honor silence, to love music, to make time to simply relax with family, and not to ask too many questions. I believe I osmosized a lot his traits, but I am still working on the "don't ask too may questions" part. I didn't get the chance to ask him how he mastered that - maybe the secret of that rhythm is in one of the many letters he wrote to me. I need to read them again...

If we are fortunate, we have (had) warm, loving, positive associations with our fathers. And these influences have helped set (a large) part of the tone, the rhythm of our lives. But this isn't always the case, is it? In fact, in many cases, our relationship with our fathers may be characterized by discord, discontent, disrepair and disharmony. What is one to do in such situations?

Let us not forget. "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter..." - maybe it is time we can find a season of healing, of establishing a new rhythm in our heart. We may not be able to do it alone, but with the divine father's (and mother's) masterful tuning in our lives, all things are possible...

Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join us as we gather for our weekly conversation in #SpiritChat on twitter - Sunday, June 18th 2017 at 9amET/1pmUTC. The USA observes the "Father's Day" holiday on this day, and we will do our best to honor those who have played said role in our lives. I will be brewing some special Darjeeling tea and playing some of my Dad's favorite music from the Punjab. I hope you can join in... Namaste.

Walking in the forest, among familiar terrain, looking at new growth with new eyes, often resets the rhythm of my life... what are some things that help you reset the rhythm of your life?