#and i now just feel incredibly guilty about being upset for this so!! im going to mourn and grieve and suffer privately again.

[acidxinxwonderland]

Heyoo, Im needy for some angst, so can I get "how the glamrocks would react to accidentally hurting them"? Like for example roxy accidentally scratching them, or Monty losing control with his anger?? You don't have too tho!!! Thank you :)

This is a VERY late response to this ask, I apologize! This sounds like a very fun, yet also sad idea. Let's start, shall we? Starting least angsty to most.

TW: Choking, slight blood, shoving, head getting bonked, just overall angsty for the last two.

Glamrock Chica

During night watch you hear rummaging in the kitchen, steeling your nerves and going to check, Chica is there going through the trash.

She bawks and throws a can straight at your head

"Oh my stars?! Are you alright?"

She feels incredibly guilty, keeping you company through the shift

She constantly checks the growing bump on your forehead

The next night, you find a neatly packaged cupcake. The perfect apology

Glamrock Freddy

Freddy is having a slight malfunction in his arm. You are the one to repair him.

"Please be cautious. I feel... Strange."

You weren't cautious. You failed to reconnect a wire.

With a roar you've never heard before, the wind is knocked out of your lungs from a great force. It wasn't until you are on the ground that you realized he used his other arm to shove you away.

There is a stunned silence that falls between you too. He can't believe he did such a thing, he felt as if he wasn't in control. He hates being out of control.

"Superstar, I am so sorry." Remorse is heavy in his tone, reaching out to you with the hand that just pushed you away.

You're bewildered, out of all the animatronics, Freddy has never laid a hand on you in such an aggressive way, you shrink from his touch.

Watching you shrink away, his hand closes, simulating a sigh as he his head falls. "I don't know what came over me. I..." He trails off.

Your eyes soften, getting up from your spot on the ground. "It's alright bud, you told me to be cautious."

As you continue working on him you have to constantly reassure him that you didn't see him any differently. Although for the next few weeks whenever he brought his hand up near you, you can't stop yourself from flinching away.

He can't bear seeing you afraid of him. Although it takes you weeks to get over it, it takes him months upon months.

Roxanne Wolf

On patrol once again, you hear crying off in the distance while roaming down the large, dark corridors of the Pizzaplex. The closer you get, the easier it was to make out. It was Roxy...

You urge on until you reach the staff's bathroom, entering to see the animatronic wolf near a mirror, covering her eyes as she let out heart wrenching sounds.

"Roxy...?" You ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Her hands are quick to fall from her face, staring at you through the mirror with glowing eyes. "What are you doing here?! Get out."

There is nothing but concern on your face as you walk towards her with slow steps, as if trying to sooth a cornered animal.

Getting in her space was your worst mistake. "I said get out!" She pivots towards you, swinging her arm at and you thought it was game over.

Your eyes screwed tight, you didn't even realize. As you slowly open them, relieved to know you are alive, you feel warmth trickle down your cheek, dripping down onto your uniform.

You both now stare at each other in complete disbelief. Roxy takes a step forward, labored breath leaving her voice box, something you've never heard before.

"I..." Her voice falters, reaching up to collect some of the blood on her finger. "I didn't mean to."

She hurt her number one, it didn't matter what she was upset about before. How could she do this to you of all people?

You grab her large hand, tears welling up in your eyes as you try to push past your own feelings. "I know you didn't Roxy."

You stayed in the bathroom all night, sitting on the sinks counter while she sunk down onto her knees in front of you. You stroked her hair as she cried, her head resting on your lap. You barely understand what she says through her sobs besides murmured apologies.

Montgomery Gator

You were tasked to check on Monty during one of his many melt downs

He was in a rage due to an argument with Freddy, yelling and punching the wall

You are petrified as you go into his green room

He immediately senses your arrival, halting for a moment to stare at you with eyes filled to the brim with unbridled rage. There was simulated huffs coming from him, as if he was ready to attack any moment.

"What are you doing here brat?"

Monty sees you as a close friend, one of the only people he trusted in the Pizzaplex. He didn't want you to see him like this.

"I'm here to help."

"Help?" His fists clench at his side. "Who said I wanted any help?"

"Well... Management sent me in but I also-"

Your words are cut off from a loud growl of distress. He was hurt, hurt by the fact that you didn't come here on your own terms and angry at management to send you in when he knew he was out of control.

He punches a hole in the wall, he can feel his fingers malfunctioning. It was as painful as it could be for something made of metal. "God damn it!"

He can't hurt you, he can't hurt you, he can't. He would never forgive himself, he won't do it.

It was as if he blacks out, and once he comes to, his hand is around your neck and you're up against the wall.

You're struggling to breath, suspended in the air as you weakly claw at his forearm.

He sees that pleading look in your eyes, and never has he been more terrified.

He lets go of you, you fall to the ground on your knees, gasping out.

Monty sees those marks on your neck, he sees the damage he has done. He can't believe he would ever do such a thing, not to you. You. He...

He hates himself for it.

"Leave."

You don't think twice, managing to get up on your feet and stumbling out of the green room as you massage the forming bruise on your skin.

He sits there in the green room, quiet as quiet can be as he thinks about what he has done. He looks down at the hand, remembering feeling your pulse against his finger tips.

He has to stay away from you now. He must. The only one he could trust. Yet he lost yours, and there was no coming back from it.

[dufferpuffer]

How do you feel about the theory that lupin was in on the prank? Or the hc that lupin was unaffected by the prank (like he didn’t really care that Snape was almost bit and that he wasn’t that upset about Sirius telling snape that)? I personally don’t really get that hc but I wanted to know your take

I think it goes against canon events and Remus' character in an unsatisfying way... for what reason? What does it add?

- Remus wouldn't fucking do that

Remus is uncontrollable as a werewolf. That's why his friends became animagi - to help shepherd him, as fellow animals. His greatest fear is spreading his Lycanthropy to others, like a lover or a child. Why would he take part in a prank that would risk that?

Cont. Approx 900 words

Yes, he did go on Full Moon walkabouts with the Marauders and it was reckless. He mentions even at the time feeling guilty and worried about it, but he did it anyway. That follows with his character: wanting acceptance and companionship even at the cost of doing what would be most responsible.

Remus is hardly considered human, legally. He isn't supposed to be at school. The Ministry can't decide whether Werewolves are 'Beings' or 'Creatures'. His parents were TERRIFIED of letting Dumbledore in their house because 'they thought he was there for Remus'. Thankfully he was there to play Gobstones, eat crumpets, and tell them he was willing to stick his neck ALL the way out to try and safely give Remus the education Werewolves are never allowed. There is a reason Remus worships the ground Albus walks on - and why he is so terrified of disappointing him.

He can justify walkabouts where the other marauders are keeping him, and other people, safe... how could he justify the risk of not only infecting Severus with Lycanthropy - but having his hiding place found out - and the possibility of his secret being spread...? Ruining every gift Albus set up for him - at his own risk?

Not only that - Remus is incredibly forgiving. He doesn't like Severus - but he doesn't hate him! He doesn't hate anyone, aside from himself. He doesn't even hate Fenrir Greyback for fucks sake. He wouldn't take part in such a brutal, risky, terrifying, self-endangering and Albus-endangering prank just because they didn't really like 'that Slytherin boy' much. He was a bully - but by being passive. By burying his nose in a book and being snarky and lying. NEVER with his claws.

- It takes away satisfying theories - adding nothing.

Sirius and Remus suspected each other of being the mole in the Order after school. It makes perfect sense for ANYONE to be suspicious of Remus:

He was spending long periods of time away from the Order, within secluded communities of 'his own kind', who have all faced deep discrimination and are being offered a potentially better world via Fenrir Greyback and Voldemort if they allow themselves to be used as tools. Remus himself was bitten by Fenrir Greyback - a man Remus has openly shown sympathy for.

Why was Sirius suspicious of Remus when they were friends...? Well... he wasn't as close to him as he was James. He was incredibly protective of James, his wife and his child. He should know Remus would never... but perhaps SOMETHING had STRAINED their relationship for awhile now, HMMM I WONDER WHAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN...

Why on earth would Remus be suspicious of Sirius...? Because he had a Pureblood family? The Blacks hadn't sided with Voldemort - only Regulus, if they even knew that about him - and Sirius had been against the whole concept for years. He was the black sheep, willing to risk his LIFE to become an animagus to spend time with a werewolf.

It would take something PRETTY HUGE to make Remus EVER suspect a member of the Marauders could be a spy, a mole... Hmm... Peter and Sirius both adore James... I wonder what sets them apart, what event could make one of them more suspicious... HHMMMM.... HHHMMMMMMM.... im REALLY thinkin' here...

Could it be... the willingness to use his most closely guarded secret, that could ruin his entire life or even get him killed... Something he is deeply ashamed of and FEARS ever making someone else suffer through.... ...As a TOOL for a PRANK - Just like the werewolves he spies amongst are being USED as TOOLS for Voldemort...????

Could that possibly have planted enough distrust in his heart that when he hears there is a mole amongst their ranks he turns directly to look at Sirius Black with suspicion...?

That is just a theory. But it has MEAT. It gives MORE REASON for the prank to have ever been shown to readers... rather than taking reason away.

- Why would you even want that...?

Why would you want Remus to have been a part of the prank...? Was James a part of the prank? I can imagine him being part of it - and getting cold feet. That still works with his character. In fact it works BETTER than if he had just heard of it and ran to stop it: Because he would have been part of its creation... and then decided his own actions were not good. Incredible growth.

Remus being a part of the prank, knowing he will be uncontrollable and might not even remember it... why? Why is this desired?!

It doesn't add to Severus' story - It takes away from him. If Remus was in on the prank, and then after the prank doesn't feel remorse and treats Severus as an ass... that takes away from the emotional complexity? It's flat and uninteresting!!!

At worst it HARMS Severus, that he might know that Remus was an active player of the event - and yet he tries to be civil. If he knows Remus MEANT to be part of that prank... he is willingly allowing him to teach students?!? He is giving him a potion that lets him keep his intelligence while a werewolf - knowing that intelligence CHOSE to PUT HIM IN DANGER?? It is juicer if he knows Remus didn't mean to... but still fears him. If he knows it isn't Remus' fault - yet Remus is still an ass to him. It makes his situation more complex. Right? Am I crazy...?

I am all for wacky HCs or alternate readings of events, even silly ones, that are fun and enjoyable or add some meat - but this one strips meat away and I'm not sure why you would want to do that???

I can only really think of the Wolfstar angle of having Sirius and Remus being close - and thus conspiring together... But it breaks who Remus is. If you need to break who Remus is just to engage with a ship... that's an AU, thats not Remus - thats an alternative boy who looks and acts a little like Remus. The Remus who would use his Lycanthropy flippantly is either a very different character or lives in a very different world.

[fipindustries]

satire must [be funny] lest it becomes [unfunny]

I see all the time people online coming up with these bespoke "rules of comedy". trying to determine what makes something funny or not, what makes a joke valid vs what makes it offensive. what counts as "good satire" and what makes something "bad satire" and, honestly?

i think it's pure cope.

i think in the vast, vast, vast majority of cases what is actually going on is that what makes something funny is dictated by how closely it affects you and how much you agree with the message and that is it.

people like to claim that satire must have a "clarity of intent", or that it must "punch up instead of punch down" or whatever, and i don't believe it, i dont think people are being honest when they say these things, trying to evaluate why THEIR joke about white guys is totally incisive and edgy and hilarious but YOUR joke about hispanic gay women is actually offensive and abusive and problematic.

most often it is not about structure, or format or formula, a joke can be incredibly cleverly done but if it hits a personal nerve or is saying something that makes you upset then whatever mirth one is supposed to derive from the cleverness of the joke is overshadowed by the fact the message is upsetting.

problem is, now a days, that the worst cardinal sin someone can commit online, the absolute most terrible crime someone can be find guilty of, is being offended. nobody wants to be a soy, censorious, tut-tutting, wet blanket whose feelings get hurt. so they try to take on this academic affectation for why actually the problem is not at all with the content or the message but actually the flaw is that is not funny at a fundamental level because of structural reasons, because of a miscalibration of the formula. as if any joke about trans women being ugly and killing themselves would make a trans person laugh if it presented the joke in just the right way (i mean, im sure there are some trans women who would laugh but i dont think it would be the majority)

i can laugh at some terribly offensive joke regarding, say, race or sexuality or crime or death or trauma because i am not the target of the joke, i have very little in common with the demographic the joke is about, is not saying anything about me or the things i care about. but i will balk at jokes that paint me or the people i care about in a bad light because im human and have feelings and things im sensitive about, and i think its time we all start being a bit more honest about it

[crystalizeyourmind]

i know exactly what i do wrong im too nervous but i cant help it. I stop taking my meds because i worry that i will become reliant on them but truthfully i already am. I had a good thing going and i fucked it cos im having a nervous break down. I don’t even know what about because im not scared of him but being around him just makes me feel so guilty. I told him he could sleep with other guys when im not able to be around but thats because i didn’t want him to be alone i dont think i ever made it clear that i am dependant on him and really didn’t want him to leave me for another. I feel like i hid how much i liked him because i didnt want him to find me annoying. He wants nothing to do with me anyway i cant blame him i wouldnt wait for me either but he doesnt even want to text me if we arent going to be forever. Hes the only person that has actually wanted to be around me in months man and now from now on i’ll never hear from him again and its my own fault and i know that but it still hurts. Im not a good person and im angry with myself about it, thats what hurts most, obviously im going to miss him incredibly too. Anyway ive cried, and i dont cry and my cat sat on my knee and licked my tears. Im gonna be fine. I just need to stay away from people because i just upset them and then i get so, so angry with myself and its not good for anyone. Im a parasite but at least i have the bollocks to admit that im bad.

[oh-katsuki]

.

okay i am now more prepared to mention what has happened but im doing it because i need to complain about something. anywa

so yesterday i got a phone call that my dad was in the hospital with a brain bleed and needed emergency brain surgery. naturally, i was scared to death (still) and rushed back home to go be with him and my family. he’s had his operation and now he’s in recovery, but things still feel incredibly surreal and scary and im not rly sure how to handle it. even now im like... idk whatever. anyway 

my housemates emailed my professors on my behalf yesterday to tell them i’d be going home and wouldn’t be in class (because i was physically incapable of doing anything yesterday), but they were brief bc they really don’t need to know my business. 

now that my dad’s in recovery though, the adrenaline is starting to subside and im exhausted and like... weirdly scared idk whatever. anyway... i now have to email all of my professors and explain to them that i need extensions and wont be in class on monday either and i know school is my responsibility bc higher education and all... but it is so humiliating to have to ask for an extension on an exam and say that i can provide proof of the fact that i thought i was gonna lose my dad this weekend. like i was travelling all day yesterday and in the ICU with my dad all day today and i feel like i am incapable of doing anything else. 

and like... the fact that i will probably have to beg to not have my grades take a hit for this is fucking infuriating and humiliating because there is nothing i can do. even right now there is nothing i can do. i can’t focus. i can’t study. i can’t help my dad. like i have to choose between my academics and being with my dad and family during one of the hardest and scariest experiences in our lives. like the fact that im going to have to go in on tuesday and wednesday and be like “pleaaasee professors, don’t knock my grade down because i had to go home bc i thought my dad was gonna die, pleaaassee” is making me so upset and anxious. and it’s embarrassing to have to email the professors who specifically ask NOT to be told anything personal because like “family emergency” and “dad having emergency brain surgery” are not on the same level to me, but i have to do it that way anyway... idk i get why they do it but at the same time like what is okay to say and not okay so that the gravity of the situation can be understood... (i said ‘incredibly emergent situation regarding my immediate family). 

i also feel so GUILTY about missing classes. i feel so GUILTY about it but i need to be here because i would rather be overreacting and have everything turn out okay than under react and regret it later. and i KNOW that it’s a valid reason and excuse... i KNOW that... but like im so wired to believe that it’s work/school < everything else.. that i feel so guilty and that ive somehow made this whole thing up as an excuse to slack off (even though i KNOW how emergent the situation is). whatever im just stressed and sad idk. 

whatever it’s just been a really awful past few days and im so tired and have only just now had a moment to sit with the feeling of my academics continuing on even while my family is dealing with this. whatever im just weird right now.

[setsugekka]

(before i even started the chapter there was a reblog on it that made my jaw drop to the floor i wish i could elaborate on it)

I think i have a better idea of yeosangs way of thinking with this whole baby thing: as seonghwa mentioned that may be the only way he can keep the mc with him and theoretically a child between two ppl can tie them together for life. Im still bothered by this bc instead of just trying to meet your wife in the middle with something as comparatively small to having a baby (literally just being home more), he’d rather take a more complicated route that can definitely make things more difficult in the relationship and will just make the problem they already have with him being around more even worse. it still doesnt make it right on his end but i think i understand a bit better

you’ve already given us an idea to how things can turn out in the story so i’m trying to hold off on any extreme opinions like “mc just leave and go to hongjoong” its more of a test for myself really to expand my thinking bc im guilty of doing this with a lot of things that i read

“..it would be such a help if you could let me use you.”

hongjoong, you skipped several steps in this interaction 🤨

“Husband going to be upset?”

he moves fast i see 🔫

“Hongjoong, a problem. It seems so far from the realm of possibility given what you know about the guy.”

girl he was just feeling you up 🤨

with mc and yunho’s conversation i feel like theres an important detail i might have to come back to later bc i’m always missing shit so im gonna keep it in the back of my mind as i read from now on (im watching you melty) (im halfway drunk as i write this so i apologize if anything i wrote is confusing)

i think i know which reblog you're referring to, i felt much of the same! i love the theorizing a bunch, it makes me giddy 🤭

onto the fun!

I think i have a better idea of yeosangs way of thinking with this whole baby thing [...]

your take on this is an incredibly reasonable and thoughtful one tbh. it's understandable why he might feel this way, why he might think this to be his best option at holding onto something that he might feel is crumbling and slipping away from him in a way? like you said, not a good way to go about it and there are certainly better ways to do so, but sometimes people latch onto stuff like that even if it isn't necessarily the best way. he does love her, he does want to stay in this marriage and make it work, and perhaps this is just his way of grasping at the straws in an attempt to do just that.

does that make it good or right? no. but it does make him human.

you’ve already given us an idea to how things can turn out in the story so i’m trying to hold off on any extreme opinions like “mc just leave and go to hongjoong” [...]

of course 🤠 i think one of the fun things about a story like this is seeing peoples different takes on what she should do. i've seen a whole slew of opinions on what she should do already ranging from "don't do it" still to "BANG THE AKADEMIYA STUDENT" and i think that's what makes writing stuff like this so enjoyable for me hehehe.

will she leave and go to hongjoong? will she stay with her husband and just fuck around on the side? will she do so and get away with it? will yeosang find out? will he leave or stay depending on that? many questions...

hongjoong, you skipped several steps in this interaction 🤨

this response has me in tears.

girl he was just feeling you up 🤨

THIS ONE HAS ME EVEN MORE IN TEARS DJKGHDFJK.

with mc and yunho’s conversation i feel like theres an important detail i might have to come back to later bc i’m always missing shit so im gonna keep it in the back of my mind as i read from now on

ERM!? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW THOUGH???? you can't withhold speculations from me it's illegal according to melty law...

oh one more thing! i love how hongjoong and mc aren’t playing dumb to what’s happening between them and addressing things head on. i’ve never seen that in a story before and it makes more interesting imo (and you wrote him so sexy melty why 😖)

yeah, they're relatively self-aware. i mean, there is of course an element of cat and mouse to their interactions that makes for an even more enticing element, but she is very much understanding of the fact that she shouldn't be entertaining any of this even half as much as she has been already...but the carnal wanting makes people do wild things, and she's lonely and angry and wanting for a man to desire her in some way beyond her ability to foster children.

as always i cannot say much for the future, but what i can say is...things are only going to be ramping up to 1000 past this point, i'll tell you what. certain men might be getting even bolder in the very immediate future 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑

[unlimitedpastabilities]

Wake Up

—————————————

Sapphic Fluff, Probably NSFW, ReaderXCrush, Reader’s POV, pg 13

Summary: a sapphic story based off of a song. I definitely went in a direction that wasn’t intended in the song, but I like it so enjoy

warning for implied sex

IM POSTING AGAIN AFTER LIKE TWO YEARS! this was surprisingly in my drafts but it’s really good so enjoy

———————————————

Finally. We were alone. The others would be back soon but for now for the first time I could talk to her. Try to get her to see. I took my chance while I could. I turned to her, months of my unsaid words boiled up inside of me.

“It feels like you’ve been in a coma.”

She raised her eyebrows.

“I’m sorry?”

“You always talk about how no one is out there for you, and how you wish you could find someone.”

She looked slightly confused, but I kept going.

“I’ve been here all this time. I know you’re scared, and I know you’ve been hurt before. But you have to open up your eyes.” I took a deep breath to calm down. I wasn’t trying to come off so harsh, I mean at this point I was almost begging, but honestly that’s how I felt.

“I don’t understa-“ she started.

“I’ve never stopped being someone who could love you well, and I’ve tried to show you the easy way, but that obviously hasn’t worked, I mean, that’s why we’re here now.” I was speaking more softly now.

She began to have a knowing look on her face, that was almost guilty. I didn’t want her to feel guilty so I just took her face one of my hands. She was surprised, but she didn’t move away at all.

I was surprised too, it was my first instinct and I just acted on it. I decided to just go with it, if it wasn’t making her upset.

“Will you please wake up your sleeping heart? I know that sometimes you’re afraid. But no more playing safe,” I said. Our faces had gotten considerably closer, I was thinking about how if I just leaned down a little I could...

“Okay.”

The response caused me to double take. Did she just—

“I’m sick of playing safe,” she explained with a small grin.

And she did it. She leaned up and just kissed me. It was magnificent, and sweet, and light, and over too soon. She pulled away with a smirk, while my jaw was dropped, head spinning. I tried to wait for my head to level before kissing her again, but it never did, and she giggled. At that I smiled and leant down again. She smiled into the kiss and put my face between her hands.

She pressed our bodies together and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She teased my lower lip with her tongue. I leaned forward even more so she had to slightly arch her back and my arms were the only thing keeping her from falling backward.

Suddenly we heard footsteps from down the hall and she pulled away panicked, but grinning. She grabbed onto my hand and starting running. I laughed, jogging behind her.

“Aren’t we supposed to be helping them?” I laughed.

“Not after that kiss!” She called right back.

We found an empty dead end in a hallway and stopped. The lights were off, which gave us hope that no one would come to bother us this time. She looked at me.

“I forgot how much I love living like this,” she breathed, looking slightly dazed.

I walked closer.

“Like what?” I asked.

“On the edge,” she laughed, “spontaneously, worry free, I guess.”

“Yeah,” I said, getting even closer, “I love it too.”

I took her by the waist and pulled her to me again. She smirked against my lips, it made my heart jump. She let her hands wander from my hair to my back, causing me to accidentally tighten my grip on her waist. She gasped, I loosened and mumbled a quick apology.

“No,” she said breathily. She pulled away for one quick second to pull my head further down and bring her mouth close to my ear. “I liked it,” she whispered.

I shuddered, a little surprised but incredibly delighted. I immediately latched my mouth onto her neck, not even worried about leaving a mark. Soon she took hold of my jaw and reconnected our lips. She weakened me with a graze of her teeth on my mouth and took the chance to back me against the wall. I was barely able to suppress the moan that wanted to escape my throat. She pushed our bodies impossibly closer, and ran her fingers up my thigh and hip with a featherlight touch.

At that point I was relying on the brick behind me for support more than my own legs, which could be trusted no longer. She let up on the pressure slightly and lightly traced my jaw before wrapping her arms around my neck. I took the opportunity to switch our positions, turning around so her back was pushed against the wall, she smirked against my mouth once more, which almost made me lose track of what I was doing. I hated how much I loved when she did that.

I quickly regained desire and ran my hand down her side, all the way to her hip. Her breath hitched and this time I was the one to smirk. I reached behind with both of my hands and pulled her legs up around me. She was breathing heavily, and I wasn’t sure if it was because she was out of breath or something else...

Her legs were wrapped around me, so finally her head was at my height. I was able to let her breathe and kiss along her jaw to behind her ear. I sucked at the skin behind it which elicited a moan from her, and caused her fingernails to dig slightly into my scalp. I smiled and moved down to her collarbone which made her moan once again and tighten the grip of her legs around my waist.

After a moment she grabbed my cheek and crashed our lips together. She had her other arm wrapped around my neck, pressing her fingers into my skin while shamelessly slipping her tongue into my mouth. I pressed my body impossibly closer to hers smashing her hips in between mine and the wall. She impulsively rolled her hips against mine, causing her to moan significantly louder than before. I captured her lips in mine once more to try and silence her but only succeeded in discovering the wonderful feeling of the vibration of her sound against my lips.

I let her legs down and slowed the movement of my lips. We were almost at the point of no recovery, and I couldn’t forget where we were. She opened her eyes after I pulled away, hair messy and lips red. Her eyes were starstruck, matching her grin. It was adorable.

“Holy shit,” Was all she seemed to be able to say.

“Come on,” I laughed, taking her by the hand. I led her out, took her back to my apartment, and I’m sure you can imagine the rest.

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(If you liked this you can check out my Masterlist, and feel free to leave a suggestion for a song I can write into a story!)

[kpophubb]

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ 12:20am ✉️#4

original song 🎧

my guilty pleasure these days

for you > 🔥

LOVEU SUNSHINE ☀️ thank y for always blighting my days

🐁 🥱 😴 🫂

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡…hello baby🥺🫶🏻💗 I love hearing from you so much especially when you write super long letters..it fills me with joy to read each line. I love being talked to. I always open asks first thing in the morning so they always brighten up my day. And don’t feel burdened naurr that I always have to spend time replying to all your lines 😭 it’s just that I love paying attention to every detail <3 I’m a small things person. And yk I faced this myself when I talk about various things and the other person only replies to a few topics and ignores the other ones..I feel hurt ( ¿ ) like yk sometimes I leave some important feelings in those ignored topics..ofc I don’t blame them cause I talk TOO MUCH at a time but yeah I don’t wanna come off as that insensitive to anyone else 💔 thus I pay attention to each word you say cause I never know which one weighs how much value to you. 🤍

♡…and oh that anon T-T nah babes, don’t worry I didn’t think of anything tbh. Sometimes misinterpretation happens bc we have different perspectives and are different individuals so it really is okay. As long as I’m clear and not misunderstood I’m fine with it. Huh..and about my bestie 🫶🏻 yep lol nth happened between us I was just worried of being distanced due to physical separation but that’s fine now! I can totally understand about the mutual bias thing🥲 I love being mutual biased with my friends when it comes to jungwon but uhm..,, you know I kinda feel sad if I ever make a jake biased friend OFC NOT BC HE IS MINE OR IM DELUSIONAL NO HE ISN’T AND WILL NEVER BE, but some part of me stings :( bc I realize how my love for him is so inferior and he’s loved by many other Incredible people and that makes my feelings feel small and invalid 💔 just normal human emotions bc I’m too attached to him..

♡…I’d love to have a pajama party with you omg😭 I love comfy late night sleepovers, we will have lots of snacks, cookies and chocolates and use a lot of skincare and give eachother manicure 💅 and pedicures lol. And pls let’s try to bake brownies and talk a lot about kpop and life. 🤍 it’d be GOALS, I REPEAT LITERAL GOALS to have a pajama party w hyunlix and us 😍🙈 aahh, just thinking about it makes me giddy. And haha I know you love soobinie, if we bring him let’s bring beomgyu too😈 bc I love his sense of humour and he makes me laugh sm. (tho the party will turn into utter chaos in 1 second if we bring him lol.)

♡…about the face reveal thing NO BABY I didn’t mean to make u scroll, I did them many times and put them up for some time so I asked bc I was wondering if you saw THEN. I didn’t mean finding out now 😭 I’m so sorry that due to the miscommunication I wasted so much of your time 💔

♡…I can understand hun, cause I always feel like shit before my period comes. My stomach and back hurt and I feel so negative and emotional, I always end up crying so much. And the health complications and mood swings you said :( awh my poor baby. Pls take extra care of yourself when u go through the tough week. 💗 you deserve to be fed and patted when you feel sick like that, I wish I could take care of u all the time. <3

♡…about the making friends in your 20’s thing, it’s kinda upsetting to admit but a friend in 20’s is never a guarantee. You know, we all get so busy with life- work, academics, responsibilities and so many complex emotions that we can’t bond that deeply with people then. Ofc some people do end up making genuine soulmate friends in their 20’s and they’re lucky. But I feel like the high school and childhood friends you grow and glow with, they know you deeply and have been through your highs and lows that’s why they’re your more real friends. Idk this is just my opinion.

♡…ikr..my way to escape is kpop too. I always feel so welcomed by my idols, I always find so much validation and feel so accepted and loved by them. It’s like coming home after a tiring day, and tho it’s stupid to many people who think how can we find comfort in people who don’t even know we exist, idk how to explain them this peaceful feeling of being able to rest when you’re in their presence. They’re the place of healing for me 🫶🏻 :’) and pls people are SO MEAN when it comes to kpop istg. (It is sometimes bc of the toxic twt fan behaviours and wars that influence people outside kpop to think that kpop is all about drama and obsessed delusional fans) but you know I hate it when people judge kpop idols based on their looks,, calling them “girly” and shit. They really piss me off. No wonder I never tell or reveal anyone I like kpop (not cause I’m not proud of it IM SO PROUD OF ALL MY IDOLS) but bc I do not want to attract negative comments and then argue baselessly with antis who never understand. I’ve been in this kinda discrimination since forever, cause I grew up liking anime and I heard so many criticism for it calling anime “Japanese cartoons” and calling people who like it “childish and nerdy.” I mean, I feel like all the hate towards Asian subjects exist because they’re Asian. You know the Asian racism in the world that I find really meaningless to begin with.

♡…omg that kinda Valentine’s Day would have been perfect 🥺 I bet hyunnie would show up with a painting he made specially for you with a love note 💗 and roses. How cute. You’d be laughing you said,, but had the one I loved shown up with roses for me, I’d be weeping instantly. First I’d be in shock, bc I don’t think anyone would ever bring me my fav flowers for me without me telling them to and that too..on Valentine’s Day. And second, being shown love gestures from the one you love unconditionally must be so special.. I don’t know how that would have felt but today I woke up to Jake’s posts and pictures and I already feel like the happiest and best thing to walk on this planet earth bc I’ve been smiling nonstop and feel so happy🥹

♡… also anonie there’s kinda a special secret I want to tell u maybe someday! Like show u something special about myself that means a lot to me 💗🙈🥰 and if you don’t mind me asking baby, I’m turning 20 this year; what age are you turning this year? (FEEL FREE TO NOT ANSWER IF YOU DONT WANT TO OR FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE HUN)

♡…pls baby don’t type as you walk🥺 I feel so scared what if you bump into a car or person and get hurt 💔 you might even attract creepy stalkers or a phone thief if you’re too distracted!! T-T (I pray that never happens) and ikr. Men🙄 I don’t trust them at all. I know there are some good men in this world, but mostly I met and saw around me bad men who just take advantage of you, who pretend to be nice people and then discard you and disregard your feelings. That’s so upsetting that’s why I stay away from them as much as I can. I stay away from PEOPLE in general as much as I can bc people really be scary af😭 </3

♡… HMM OMG ANONIE that’s a super hard question KFC or McDonald’s 😨 I love both so much 😍 it’s like if I get kfc for lunch, I’ll have to get McDonald’s for dinner then and vice versa!! Kfc zinger burgers are the best burgers to exist for me 🫶🏻 but then McDonald’s fries are the tastiest fries in the world so McDonald’s wins by .5 since Fries are my favourite food 🍟 hahahahhahahahahaha. ( they give so much fries and the people I go w/ can never finish theirs, so I remember how everytime I finish the whole tray of fries by myself and rejoice from contentment!! )

♡…and your grandma aww 🥺 I’m so happy to hear baby that you finally got to talk with her! <3 I can understand how hard it must be to stay away from a precious family member and always yearning to be close to them and help them during the worst times. So it fills me with relief that you guys contacted recently! And omg she’s felix biased💗🥹 your grandma and I would get along, huh!! ;) <3 haha the relationship you have w her is so cute. It’s so heart warming to hear you can feel accepted in her presence no matter what and she even approved of her grandson-in-law (our hyunnie so yaay 🎉)

♡…awh baby I can totally get how intimidating a change can seem. But don’t be afraid, okay? Cause changes are sometimes for the better. And don’t fear you’re gonna lose yourself if you try to change..you know the person in the core of your heart is always gonna be the same. 💗 embrace the new challenges and let it mould you into a stronger and more amazing version of you. You’re not becoming someone else. You’re becoming a BETTER VERSION OF YOU. Think of it like that and you will see how relieved you feel.

♡..and baby don’t feel bad or fear about having so many traumas. You see scars and emotional trauma and distress are something that all people have- some have worse some have slightly better but none of that defines us. They are something we never truly recover from, they just become less intense with time bc we just learn to live with them. At one point in your life in the future, you will look back and be glad that you went through certain things and met some certain people who gave u bad feelings cause if you never met them, you’d never be who you are then and you’d never have had turned out the way you would. Perhaps, you’d turn out as a different person and who knows..maybe your life would have been better in the present but in the future it would have been hard bc you wouldn’t be mentally strong enough. All the incidents that happened atleast shaped you into a stronger and wiser person. :’) 💕

♡….idk where you are rn or know exactly the things you went through to get here, but I know it took a lot in you and it was rough. That’s why I keep reminding you again and again that you’re amazing and you’re doing enough, so rest assured baby, cause better things await you. One day, you will be brave enough to brace yourself for coming where you have. 💓 I pray and hope I’m there to applaud 👏🏻 you then.

♡..now just some random fillers at the end. The cookies u attached they look so tasty😭😍 I wanna go nomnom bc they’re making my mouth water..</3 I love choco chip cookies. (AND WHY THE FELIX AB PICTURE WHAT THE HELL I ALMOST SCREAMED) and something I wanted to say at the end bc it feels super special to me..- I love the way you call me sunshine. It makes me feel so validated and appreciated on the inside, cause it’s always been a dream of mine to be someone who can be a light in other people’s lives. I always yearned to be addressed as “sunshine” with love by people dear to me someday, and now that it’s happening, it brims my eyes with the happiest tears. I really, really, really love you. 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘ ♡♡♡

“When I look at you, I feel like I have another reason to live.”

[skeletonsandroses21]

Hnnnnnnnnnnnggggggghhhhhhh its Feel Bad Time™️

[mitchharry]

.

[oneprompt]

hi… your writing is absolutely amazing <33 can you do a sanji x reader WHERE HES JUST RLLY SUBMISSIVE TO YOU ?? or one where he’s dominant because I don’t see dom sanji a lot.. but I’m a slut for submissive sanji so like ‼️ it’s embarrassing to say but can this be nsfw? the scenario could be where sanji asks you to be dominant in the bedroom, and like when you start to degrade him HE REALLY LIKES IT SO YOU KEEP DOINF IT AND ]\]+|¥ okay am I explaining this well?? This is my first time submitting a request I’m so sorry if this makes no sense . basically just a sanji x reader where sanji enjoys being degraded <3 if you can of course! 🧡

authors note : thank you so much , im flattered to hear such a kind thing directed at me ! <3 and this request ? i adore your brain , sanji is . most definitely a sub ! i did hc + a drabble like i always do <3 hope these are enough

NSFW / SMUT WARNING

.......

.......

tags : degrading , femdom , sub / dom , ( verbal ) masochism , ( alight ) master kink

Sub! Sanji x Dom! Reader Headcanons

• You were a bit surprised from the sudden change of pace from Sanji. You both have a rather fluid routine when it came to sex , neither of you ever being a strict sub or dom. And with the mention of things such as verbal degrading and humiliation... you couldn’t help but be taken aback. Not in a bad way, of course! You were more then open to spice things up with your lover.

• You couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious as you stepped into your shared room, dark blue lace masking your most feminine areas, a garter holding up the matching stockings. You had picked out the lingerie to match the blue that Sanji often wore. Needless to say, his reaction to your body is instant. But who can blame him, truly? Seeing a woman in such scandalous clothing, you’re bound to grow antsy.

• You two are immediately on each other, kissing and touching one another. The more foreplay and light touches Sanji gave you, the more excited you got, the fabric of your brand new panties already grow wet. Sanji seemed so desperate, so needy..

• You found yourself shocked by your own words, the heat of the moment carrying your words better then your own brain. “You’re such a pervert... already getting so hard for me. What type of freak rubs his dick on a girls new clothes?” Your own jaw dropped at your words. Would Sanji be upset over you saying that? Would he have taken it to heart?

• To your relief, you were met with the view of Sanji’s face turning a pure shade of scarlet, his eyes half lidded. He had such a cute smirk on his face, he looked so shy, despite the large erection that peeked up from his boxers. He couldn’t help but fawn over your attitude, encouraging to take your insults even further.

• And so you did. Sure, you still felt a bit guilty for being so cruel to him but you couldn’t deny how worked up it was getting you, nor how pleasing it was for your boyfriend. Sanji showed the most pleasure as you yanked on his tie, ordering him around and calling him tons of names.

• When you two get to the main course, Sanji had already been made a mess by the grinding of your hips and words alone. So, once you prop yourself up ontop of him and let your flooding hole hold his member captive, he turns into pure putty. It’s cute. So very cute.

• The way Sanji pleads and begs for you, moaning and mewling as he repeated your name over and over again. He was a mess, he looked like a true man whore beneath you. You make sure to still degrade him and occasionally yank at his blonde locks while making him pleasure you with his sweet dick.

• Sanji is quick to cum ( not without begging first , though ), letting out a high pitched whine and moan as he came inside of you, even getting a bit on you as he pulled out afterward, leaving your thighs and labia a cum drizzled scape.

Sub! Sanji x Dom! Reader Oneshot

The cries Sanji let out under you was like nothing you had ever heard. Sanji was a very prideful man, at least in the presence of others. Right now, he was nothing but a mask of what he is for the public. He’s not Black Legged Sanji right now, right now he’s your slut.

“Y-Y/n-san..~..Please give me more..” Sanji whimpered out in pleasure, holding himself back from throwing his hips upward, making your hungry hole eat his shaft. You were moving so painfully slow... “Please..faster...”

Your hands stayed planted firmly on his chest, your nails carefully digging themselves into his collarbone. “I’ll move when i want to. Mutts don’t get to tell master what to do..” You sighed out in pleasure, feeling your insides hug Sanji’s girth. You smiled at the sight of Sanji’s face glowing a darker shade of red from your words. He was adorable.

“I’ll beg...please, just go faster,” Sanji said, looking up at you, his gaze pleading. He looked so desperate, he was making an expression you had never seen him make before. You couldn’t help but grow more aroused at the sight of such a rare face.

“Okay, beg, then..” You smirked softly, leaning down and kissing Sanji’s cheek. You patiently waited for Sanji to speak up.

“Y/n-san... please use me up. I’m all yours...no other woman will ever hold my heart captive the way you do,” It was odd. Even when engulfed by pleasure, Sanji still managed to be his poetic and romantic self, didnt he?

With those magic words, your hips snapped downward, taking Sanji balls deep inside of you, the tip of his member staying jammed against the depth of your cervix. You couldn’t hold back as you moaned lustfully, tilting your head back in pleasure. The large frame of the bed began to creek as you eagerly rode the chef, your hips bouncing along with your supple breasts. It felt far too good. Being in a position like this with the role you had in this very moment was more then enough to make you orgasm at any moment.

Sanji couldn’t keep his mouth shut, gentle gasps puffing out of his lips, a line of drool dripping down along the corner of his mouth. Why hadn’t Sanji asked you to do this any sooner? It felt amazing, certainly the best sex the two of you have had.

“Y/n, don’t stop...degrade me, please~,” Sanji moaned out, the pleasure in his voice dragging the letters with it. His eyes were shut as he huffed and puffed, trying to stabilize the rapid mewls that flew out of him.

“Don’t order me around.. you aren’t in the position to do that, unless you want to be punished,” You said shakily, voice trembling from the amount of pleasure that dived in and out of your body.

Punished? Oh, now that was a thought Sanji liked. If just verbal torture felt so good, how good would it be to have you be more hands on with it? The thought of you as a domantrix made him more excited. A dark corset looping itself along your waist, paired with matching gloves. And all sorts of lewd tools on your side to make Sanji scream. It sounds like heaven to him.

“Punish me, Y/n-san! Please..be mean,” Sanji begged, grovelling under your body. And so, that’s what you did. You didn’t hesitate to lift your hips off of Sanji’s erection, the tip a deep red as it looked about ready to burst with the amount of cum he had been holding back.

A pout snuck its way into Sanji’s face as his girthy dick twitched in disappointment. This isn’t the punishment he wanted..

“Why’re you pouting? I said i’d be mean,” You smirked slightly, now located in between your lovers legs.

“I didn’t think-,” Sanji’s breath hitched as you squeezed his throbbing dick in between your breasts, the coating of your own wetness and Sanji’s precum already having it lubed further enough.

Sanji stuttered as you began to move your breasts, letting them bounce against his shaft, making up a pleasurable friction against the sensitive appendage. It felt so good, something as minor as this was enough to have Sanji trembling and begging.

He looked down at you with his beautiful pearly blues, tears of overstimulation brimming his eyes. This was beginning to be far too much for him, holding his ejaculation back was impossible at this point, and Sanji made that very apparent. Without a single word from him you let out the magic words, still letting him thrust into your breasts.

“You may cum, Sanji-kun.” You smiles lovingly at the blonde, awaiting his seed to paint your face. Sanji has been waiting all night for you to say those words, that single chain.

In an instant, thick ropes of Sanji’s semen spouted out from his dick, hitting the warmth of your cheeks and making your entire face sticky. Thankfully for you, it only got upon your face, and not your hair.

Sanji looked absolutely blissed out, letting his head hit the pillows as he was laid out entirely. The small breaths that escaped him made you giggle quietly. He was so incredibly cute.

You feel as if you and Sanji learnt a bit more about each other today, and understood your own selves a lot better.

[bubbleteaimagines]

Telling them that they’re being clingy prank

Haikyuu Boys Headcanon/Drabble

BOKUTO KOUTARO

It’s a Sunday night and Bokuto is currently over because it’s your tradition to have movie night. Anyways, we all know this baby is clingy but you don’t mind so you let him cuddle you all the time. However, halfway through the movie you get an idea. You know it’s mean but you really wanna know his reaction, so you decide to try.

“Boki-Bear?” Bokuto hums softly as you call his name and he looks up at you from his position on your lap. His head his resting between your thighs, and you already begin to feel incredibly guilty as you see his sweet face.

“Yeah babe?”

Come Y/N, you can do this. You can feel yourself mentally start to deflate.

“C-Can you...can you get off of me for a sec? You’re being kinda clingy.”

PLS HES SO SAD WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

His entire demeanor deflates, pausing to take in your words

“C-Clingy? But I thought...?”

“Please Bokuto, just for a minute,” You tell him, and he knows you’re serious because you used his last name

“O-Okay...”

Like a kicked puppy, he slowly moves away from you and pouts, moving to the other end of the couch

Every few seconds he keeps looking at you with puppy dog eyes and you can tell his feelings are actually hurt

Deciding enough was enough, you rush from your spot and practically tackle your boyfriend, immediately peppering him with kisses

“Y/N? What are you-”

“IM SORRY BABY IT WAS JUST A PRANK PLEASE FORGIVE ME I LOVE YOU SM YOURE NOT CLINGY AT ALL!”

“WAIT YOU MEAN THAT?”

Emo Bokuto™️ immediately retracts and he embraces you back, eagerly accepting your kisses

“Of course Bo, you know I love your cuddles more than anything,” You tell him 🥺

Cue your boyfriend sighing in relief

“Y/N don’t do that to me I thought you suddeny hated me or something I was so scared,” 🥺

Babyyy 🥺

You better give him all the hugs and kisses and cause nearly gave the poor baby a heart attack

OIKAWA TOORU

Oikawa has of course asked to come over because he wants to try a new face mask with you. Yes, he is the kind of boyfriend that would do this. Anyways, he called you on the phone to ask you what type you wanted and you decided it’d be perfect time for a prank.

“Actually Oikawa...I don’t think you should come over today. You’ve been kinda clingy lately and I-”

“Y/N-CHAN, WHAT~” You jumped as Oikawa dramatically gasps, and you can hear the people in the background scolding him for being so loud. There’s a moment of silence, coupled with some static and then your boyfriend is back on the phone, still shouting.

“Y/N, YOU THINK IM CLINGY? REALLY? BUT BABY~” You can practically hear him pouting on the other end and you smirk when you get an incoming FaceTime call, seeing that you were exactly right.

“I can’t believe you would say that,” Oikawa juts out his bottom lip and sighs, hanging his head, “Y/N-Chan, I thought you liked the attention,”

Pls he sounds so sad, his face is kinda out of the shot but you’re pretty sure he’s started sniffling

Awe 🥺

“Baby I do, it was just a prank!” You tell him, starting to feel a little bad, “I don’t really feel that way!”

But of course, Oikawa is petty

He hears you, but he’s upset that you’d prank him like that so he sticks his nose in the air and huffs, “That wasn’t funny, Y/N-Chan. You really hurt my feelings,” He whines

“Awe baby I’m sorry. Come over yeah and I’ll make you some milk bread,” You tell him sweetly

Oikawa instantly perks up, and a sly smile growing on his face as he looks into the camera

“Now that’s more like it. And don’t scare me like that again baby,” 😌😙

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

It’s getting late in the evening and you’re waiting for Kageyama to finish practice so he can walk you home. While you’re scrolling on your phone, you suddenly get an idea to prank him with when he’s finished. Smiling evilly, you wait to greet him like him normal and then you drop the bomb when he asks if you’re ready to go.

“Actually Tobio...I think I wanna walk home alone today. You’ve been kinda clingy and I just need some alone time.”

“Clingy?” Kageyama is definitely taken back because that’s the last word he’d ever think you’d use to describe him. Nevertheless, his brain starts to go into overdrive and he starts overthinking.

Have I really been that clingy? Was I annoying Y/N? Why would they wait this long just to tell me this?

“Have you been thinking about this all day?” He asks, and you nod

“Yeah...Kinda...”

“Oh,”

It gets really awkward and now you and Kageyama are just standing there like 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 cause you don’t know what to do

You’re trying so hard not to laugh cause Kageyama really looks concentrated, probably trying to figure out where he went wrong

“Was it...was it because I asked you to bring me some milk like 5 times today?” He finally says

You bite your lip, “No, it was just like, in general. Don’t worry about it though. We can try again tomorrow,”

“Oh okay,”

At this point you’re literally doing all you can not scream cause TOBIO? READ THE ROOM? That sounded absolutely ridiculous but he still didn’t pick up

“Well...I still gotta go so and I don’t want you to be alone...” He shuffles awkwardly beside you, “Do you mind if I...walk behind you?”

“Awe Tobio,” He still wants to make sure you’re safe and that makes your heart melt

Nodding gently, you decide to drop the act and tell him the truth

“It was just a prank, baby. You’re not really clingy,” You tell him, chuckling at his expression

Kageyama goes from shocked, to thinking again, and then finally to annoyed as he lets out a huff

“Not funny, Boke,” He grumbles, causing you to giggle

“Can’t believe you fell for that Tobio. If anything I’m the clingy one,” You tell him

“Damn right,” Kageyama scoffs, “You texted me fifteen times during practice!”

“Hey! I was just seeing when you were gonna finished,” You defended yourself

“And you sent me memes. And recipes,” He points out

“Oh whatever!”

You scoff as you take his hand, walking next to him as close as possible and even asking if you can have his jacket because it smelled like him, “I’m not clingy!”

[wizardimagines]

jealousy, part 2, draco x reader

pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count: 1,6k summary: you and ron becomes closer as you help him study, draco doesn’t take this new relationship well. a/n: here you guys go !! part 2 of jealously,, i’m in shock as to how many of u liked part one !! i’ve gotten such amazing feedback and it makes me super happy so thank u so so much <3 i’m gonna be completely honest tho and let u guys know im really unhappy with this one , i feel like it could be a lot better and i might actually rewrite it at some point . but hopefully it’s somewhat ok, enjoy !! <3 READ PART 1 HERE

warnings: TW !!! mentions psychical abuse

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

The following week was exhausting. You hadn’t seen Draco for a couple of days, doing everything you could to actively avoid him. The truth was you were scared. You were terrified, to say the very least. You had no clue what to say to him at this point, afraid that you were just going to make him even more upset than he already was. You didn’t even know if you two were a couple anymore, and the thought of it made your heart shatter into a million pieces.

You also distanced yourself from Ron. You knew the whole situation happened because of your friendship with Ron, and the only solution you could come up with was simply to stop being friends with Ron. He had approached you multiple times, asking you if you were free and wanted to go study, but you had declined each offer. You felt absolutely terrible, you truly did like Ron and you enjoyed spending time with him. But you knew your relationship with Draco was more important than any friend you had and at this point, you’d give up everything to fix your relationship.

It felt so hopeless. You skipped every class you had with the blond boy, you didn’t even dare look his way whenever you walked into the great hall to eat breakfast, petrified of your eyes meeting his icy ones. Today was no different. Everyone was in class, everyone but you. You knew you would have to face Draco sooner or later, today was just not the day. You were sitting in the library, trying your best to distract yourself by reading a book. However, it wasn’t going too well. You couldn’t focus on any of the words and your thoughts kept wandering off, thinking about other things. Suddenly, a warm hand was placed on your shoulder, making you snap out fo your thoughts. ‘’Why aren’t you in class, Y/N?’’ A similar voice said behind you, making you turn around so you could see who the person was. In front of you stood Ron. ‘’Ron,’’ You let out, feeling somewhat relieved it was only Ron. You shut the book close as the red-haired boy sat down in the chair next to you. ‘’You scared me.’’ You chuckled lightly, looking down at your lap where your hands were resting. ‘’Sorry about that,’’ Ron answered. ‘’But why aren’t you in class?’’ He repeated himself. 

You didn’t know what to tell him. You knew it wasn’t a secret that you were avoiding Draco, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to admit it. ‘’I just,’’ You started, biting your bottom lip nervously. You were still staring at your hands,  nervously playing with them. You just couldn’t bring yourself to look at the boy in front of you. ‘’I have to go.’’ You blurted out, quickly standing up. ‘’Y/N! Wait,’’ Ron let out behind you, standing up as well. ‘’What’s going on with you?’’ Worry lingered in his voice, and you couldn’t blame him.

You felt your bottom lip starting to tremble. That was when you noticed the tears that were welling up in your eyes, making you shut them close to prevent the tears from hitting your cheeks. ‘’Whatever it is that’s going on, I’m here for you, you know?’’ He said, placing his hand on your shoulder once again. You took a deep, shaky breath as you turned around and fell straight into his arms. You could tell he was surprised, but quickly wrapped his arms around you. You let the tears fall silently down your cheeks. ‘’Hey, it’s okay,’’ He mumbled as he stroke your back using one of his hands, the other one holding the back of your head. ‘’I think Draco broke up with me,’’ You quietly whispered into his shoulder, tears still falling from your eyes. ‘’Bloody hell Malfoy,’’ Ron muttered under his breath, pulling you closer to him.

At this point, you didn’t even care about the whole ignoring Ron thing you had planned to keep until you fixed things with Draco. The feeling of someone holding you and being there to comfort you finally made you feel a little bit better. Ron’s warm hands were nothing compared to Draco’s cold, lanky hands but it didn’t matter at this point. ‘’I’ll walk you to your dorm,’’ He mumbled as he pulled away from the hug, spotting your tear-filled face. He slowly wiped the tears away using his thumbs, making you nod. ‘’You can start walking, okay? I just need to go get my things and then I’ll catch up with you.’’ He said, giving you a small smile. You nodded once again, giving him half a smile.

The halls were empty. You weren’t complaining though, you didn’t want anyone to see you like this; like a crying mess. You slowly walked down the hall, taking your time as you looked out each window you passed. The weather had somewhat cleared up, dark clouds still covering the sky. ‘’Y/N?’’ A voice suddenly called out, making you turn your head to the side. And there he was. His eyes were dark, not the usual bright blue color they always used to be. As soon as your eyes met his, your heart dropped. You felt your throat tighten up as you felt completely paralyzed. You felt your eyes widen as you suddenly realized that you had to get away, quickly. You turned around, quickly making your way down the hall without saying a word to the blond boy. ‘’No, wait!’’ He shouted behind you, grabbing your wrist.

Your wrist. The same wrist he had grabbed that night. The same wrist that now had a bright red mark from his tight grip. You felt the pain shot up your arm, making your eyes well up with tears once again as you cried out in pain. You quickly snatched your wrist away, holding it with your other arm as you bit your lower lip in pain. Draco looked at you in confusion before looking down at your arm, spotting the red mark. He felt the guiltiness and pain hit him all at once. His heart dropped as he realized it was him that had left that mark. ‘’Y/N,’’ He whispered, his facial expression softening. You quickly looked up at him, tears falling from your eyes as you took a shaky breath. He slowly reached out to you, making you jump. 

He froze. ‘’I’m not going to hurt you,’’ He let out, pain and shame lingering in his voice as his eyes teared up. ‘’Please don’t be scared of me, I would never hurt you,’’ He continued, shaking his head as a tear hit his cheek. Draco had never felt such pain. He had felt pain multiple times during his lifetime, but nothing could compare to the pain he was currently feeling. You just stood there, staring at the boy in front of you. You didn’t know what to say or do, so you just let the tears fall down your cheeks. ‘’I’m so sorry, please let me hold you,’’ He mumbled as he tried his best to hold back the rest of the tears, slowly walking towards you. You watched as he got closer to you, terrified of what could happen next. But Draco slowly put his arms around your waist, burying his head between your neck and shoulder. You felt a sob escape his lips.

‘’I’m so sorry,’’ He kept repeating it over and over again between sobs. You slowly wrapped your arms around his neck, you had never seen him in this state before. ‘’I don’t know what happened. I was just so angry,’’ He sobbed. ‘’But why?’’ You whispered back. ‘’Because I really thought I was losing you,’’ Draco responded. You slowly pulled away, Draco looking at you in fear as you did so. ‘’Please don’t go,’’ He whimpered, his bottom lip trembling. You grabbed his hands as you shook your head. ‘’I’m not leaving, Draco.’’ The boy in front of you closed his eyes as he grabbed onto your hands harder, like he was scared you were going to leave anyway. ‘’I’m so sorry for saying all those things,’’ He cried, pulling you back into a tight hug.

This time he placed his head on top of yours, placing one hand behind your head and the other one on your back. ‘’And I’m so incredibly sorry for hurting you like that,’’ He whispered. You pulled yourself closer to him, placing your head on his chest. You could hear his heart racing, as well as his shaky breath. ‘’I will never lay a finger on you again, I promise,’’ He continued, making you sigh. ‘’Please just hold me Draco.’’ You whispered, causing the taller boy to pull you closer to him immediately. You closed your eyes as a tear escaped from your eye, Draco pressing multiple kisses on top of your head.

You knew it would take a while to forgive Draco, but it didn’t matter. You were willing to do anything for him, just like he was willing to do anything for you. ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

TAGLIST: @justmesadgirl @thefandomplace @kodydoescrap @slytherinsunrise @xdracosmalfoyx @imjustboredso @lexi-ravenclawdracomalfoy @retrouvailessx @night-girls-world @andressavp @inurealiyah @lilgoddesshines @iamaspicytriangle

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)

yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao

word count: 5.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.

Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been. 

You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.

This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already. 

You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.

Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.

At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind. 

These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea. 

After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:

“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”

His response came quickly.

“Done. Both.”

You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.

Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.

“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.

You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.

“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”

“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”

“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.

“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table. 

You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently. 

“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.

“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.

“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.

“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth. 

“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”

“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.

The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.

“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”

Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion. 

“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”

His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…

Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.

“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way. 

You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.

“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.

“Oh.”

“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”

Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.

“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”

You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.

“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”

“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”

You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him. 

“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.

“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”

“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”

“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”

“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”

“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”

“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”

“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.

“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“That sounded more like a no.”

“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”

“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”

“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”

Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.

“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”

You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.

“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.

“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”

“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.

“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”

“Harry…”

“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”

You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again. 

Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?

It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run. 

He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance. 

***

It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did. 

You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all. 

For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.

Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.

“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.

“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.

“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.

“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”

The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.

“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.

“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.

“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”

You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”

“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.

“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”

“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.

“Baba!” she exclaims.

“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.

When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.

“You want me to give you a ride?”

“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”

“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”

“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.

Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”

“Uh, sure. It is.”

“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”

“Great. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, babe.”

The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.

“Um… neutral, I guess?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands. 

“That’s nice, was it his idea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”

“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”

“Harry, I…”

“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.

“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”

“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.

“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”

“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”

Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.

Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.

“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind. 

Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.

“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”

“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”

“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”

“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”

“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”

At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.

“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”

Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.

“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”

“What?” you gasp.

“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.

“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”

“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.

“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”

He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again. 

“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”

“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”

“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”

“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”

Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.

“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”

“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”

“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”

You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?

You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away. 

“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.

“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”

“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”

At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.

“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.

By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor. 

Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.

It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions. 

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[euphoricsunflowers]

care — monsta x

request: how do you think our boys would take care of and reassure their dom? like, with a domdrop situation, when you're feeling drained or maybe even guilty :'(

a/n: sorry if these seem kind of repetitive but i hope you like them!!! all gifs are by @imnameimss !!

word count: 2.0

content: sub!monsta x, dom!gn!reader, no smut except for the beginning of wonho’s part, usage of safewords (minhyuk and changkyun), lots of mentions and depictions of aftercare obviously, lots of bad feels on the reader’s part obviously

disclaimer: legit just please take care of your partners, whether dom or sub. remember that everyone deserves the ability to use a safeword if they need/want to and everyone deserves aftercare.

—

son hyunwoo/shownu:

he usually doesn’t start or initiate anything, letting you be the one to do it, which is helpful when you don’t want to do anything. he’s not forceful nor do you have to shut down any advances because he’s just not vocal about it when he wants it. you’ve gotten good at spotting when he’s horny, so that’s not even an issue anymore.

but if anything, hyunwoo is attentive. he noticed something was off immediately, even before you had said a word, that this wasn’t just an off day where you were just tired.

“y/n?” you hear him murmur with concern laced in his voice, “is everything- are you okay?”

“what?” you finally meet his eyes, and his heart breaks just a bit, seeing all those bad feelings you’re holding back, “i- yeah, i’m fine, woo. just a bad day.”

“i don’t think is just a bad day, baby,” he reaches out to hold your hand, and you take it hesitantly, letting him pull you a bit closer, “can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

“i’m- am i a bad person?” you blurt out, before backtracking, “and like, don’t lie to make me feel better, but am i a bad person for the things i fantasize about? i mean like, i get pleasure from hurting you! that can’t be good, i must be-”

“honey,” he whispers as he uses his free hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb soothingly, and you realize just how loud you’ve been getting, “you’re not a bad person. a bad person wouldn’t care if they were bad, and they definitely wouldn’t care about me as much as you do. you’re incredible, y/n,” he smiles sadly, “now how about we make some adjustments to our aftercare routine so this doesn’t happen again, okay?”

lee hoseok/wonho:

completely opposite from shownu, wonho is always needy and has no problems initiating, but he’s also incredibly attentive and notices something is wrong rather quickly.

“on your knees, baby,” you murmur, and right away he slides off the bed to fall to his knees, maybe bruising them a bit, but he knows you love to see him bruised up and he’s happy to make his body your canvas. he sits obediently, waiting for his next command, but he doesn’t get it. instead, you just run your fingers through his hair with a distant look on your face.

he knows in a normal situation he should stay silent, but he decides that this isn’t a right situation, “y/n? is- is everything okay?”

you snap out of your daze, “i- yeah, i’m fine. can we… not do this today, though? i’m sorry.”

“of course! that’s okay! do you… wanna talk about it?” he asks as he stands up, climbing back into bed next to you.

you sigh as he pulls you closer, holding you against his chest, “just feeling kinda icky? i’ve been feeling bad about domming for a few days, i guess i can’t hold it in anymore. can you, uhm, can you say nice things? about me?”

he tries to hold in the ‘you should have told me!’ speech that he can feel already coursing through his body because he can tell it’s not what you need nor want, “you’re the most amazing, baby, the most beautiful, the sweetest, the kindest, most loving, you’re my everything, y/n. i love you.”

“i love you too, bunny. thank you.”

lee minhyuk:

he seems like he’d be oblivious, but in fact he’s probably the most attentive to any changes in your mood whether they be sudden or gradual.

and in the moment, where that sudden “what the fuck am i doing?” realization hits you, he spots it immediately. it’s obvious in the shift from that intensely focused and amused look in your eyes to a much more nervous one. it’s obvious in the way you don’t continue your movements, both leaving him physically tense and frustrated but mentally worried out of his mind, “y/n,” he mumbles. not your title or honorific, but just your name.

“i- yeah? what is it, min?” you stutter, but the facade crumbles quickly.

“red,” he whispers like it’s a forbidden word, but it’s for your sake and not his, so there’s no hesitation in his words.

“oh fuck, i’m sorry, min, here let me-”

“wait! listen to me,” he stops you from getting off of him, pulling you close instead, “i’m fine. i’m okay and i feel good and i liked what you were doing. you’re okay, you’re not a monster, you’re not a bad person.”

you don’t ever need to tell him what’s going on in order for him to know exactly the words to say, “really? you’re- you’re okay? then why did you-”

“you needed the scene to stop,” he says, “how about you let me take care of us today? i can clean up, and we can lay in bed for a few hours and cuddle, alright?” you shake your head, trying once again to get off of time, but you should have known that once minhyuk has you in his arms, you’re not getting out, “y/n, sweetie, you always take care of me, and we’ve both failed to meet your needs this time. c’mon, let me at least try and help you feel better, please?”

yoo kihyun:

kihyun makes it a point that you both talk about your feelings constantly regarding the dynamic and before and after scenes, mostly because he had experienced a lot of sub drop over the course of your relationship when he kept trying to hide any bad feelings. so because he expects full honesty from himself, he expects the same from you.

all the bad feelings come to a head when you give in and decide to talk about them, “ki?” you murmur to him next to you, and he hums in response, “can you come here?”

he finally looks up, almost worried he had done something wrong before he sees the melancholic look on your face. he comes close to you, enough for you to pull him in, hold him with every fiber of your being, “honey, what’s wrong?”

you try to be straightforward and honest, just like how he tries to be, “i’ve been feeling bad since yesterday about what i said, about liking it when you cry.”

“are you worried about how i felt about it? or do you feel like a bad person because of it?”

you sigh, “kind of both.”

“first of all, i thought that it was incredibly hot in the moment, so don’t worry at all about that first bit,” he chuckles half-heartedly, holding you tightly against himself in return, “and secondly, you’re not a bad person for enjoying that. you knew i was consenting and we talked about everything beforehand. you didn’t do anything i didn’t want.”

“you’re sure?”

“i wouldn’t lie to you, y/n. i’m sure. now what can i do after a scene to help you feel good? obviously i might need more attention physically, but aftercare is for you too.”

chae hyungwon:

hyungwon is caring in his own little, quiet way. in the way he’ll take care of chores for you or press a kiss to your forehead even as you’re asleep when he leaves or in the way he’ll notice you’re having a bad day and silently ask to hug and hold you until you feel better. he’s quietly caring.

and it’s the same now. he’s silent unless you ask him to talk, holding you quietly as you both sit on the bed, “i’m sorry, wonnie.”

“don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong. just talk to me.”

“i’m so tired,” you groan, feeling his touch on your shoulder to keep you grounded, “i just feel so constantly paranoid that this isn’t what you want and i’m really just hurting you and you don’t actually want this, you’re just saying you do for my sake-”

“y/n,” he whispers, brining you attention back to him, “i have clear hard limits for a reason, and you’ve always respected them. i get that you’re trying to attentive to what i want, but i need you to trust and believe me. anything i let you do or ask you to do to me is something i want. you’re okay.”

“i’m okay, okay, just- just keep holding me. and- and keep reassuring me, please, i need to hear it,” you feel him adjust as you speak, lying down and pulling you to rest against his chest.

“of course, i’ll say those words until my lips are blue.”

lee jooheon:

he’s an angel, if a bit dense, that only wants the best for you both. so it takes him a moment to catch what’s going on, especially because he was incredibly needy for you but he can never stand to see you this messed up yet trying to keep it together.

“baby!” he calls out, hoping to catch your attention, but you’re too into your phone to look at him, “please, y/n, i’m so needy for you. i want to be all yours. so take me please, please don’t ignore me-”

“joo, please leave me be, i want to be alone,” you whisper, but your shaky voice worries him more than your words confuse and upset him.

“darling, talk to me, please,” he pleads, resting his head in your lap in order to make you look at him, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“i just- i feel bad, okay? i don’t want this right now,” you try to keep your voice still, but it’s in vain, “fuck, jooheon, i don’t want to do this right now, okay?”

“i wasn’t- i wasn’t pressuring you into doing anything! i’m just worried about you!”

“well i just- the idea of what… i normally do today, makes me feel icky, you know?” you feel him wrap his arms around you in a weird sort of cuddle position, “i’m sorry.”

he shakes his head cutely, and you run your fingers through his hair sweetly, “don’t be, let’s just lie here till you feel better. i love you, y/n, i love you so much.”

im changkyun/i.m:

in the moment he says the safeword, changkyun isn’t focused on you, and you’re not focused on you. you’re focused on taking care of him, getting him in a more comfortable position, and asking what happened. you’re not thinking about yourself as you comfort him and lull him to sleep, and you don’t think about yourself until long past he’s fallen asleep.

but then you do think about yourself. it’s so worrying to hear the word in the moment, but once the adrenaline wears off and all there is is the stifulling and suffocating fear of ever doing that again and the cruel shame that it even happened this one time is enough to wreck any chance of falling asleep together you might have.

you sit in the kitchen, drinking a cup of water, when a grumpy and tired changkyun walks out of the bedroom and clings to your back, “why are you out of bed?”

“i wasn’t feeling good, honey. go lie down, i’ll be back soon,” you murmur hushedly, but he doesn’t leave you be.

“please don’t feel bad about earlier. it wasn’t your fault that it was too much for me.”

“baby, it kind of is. i shouldn’t have pushed you that far, and now i just, i don’t feel good. i can't- i can’t sleep. i don’t even want to look at you because i’m too afraid to face it.”

“then don’t look at me, it’s dark anyway. just listen to my voice, let me try to soothe you, okay? we can talk about what happened and how it’ll be handled later on in the morning. for now, let’s go back to bed. do you want me to sing a little bit for you to lull you to sleep?”

—

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @maknaeronix @multidreams-and-desires @foenixs @hobilluvvr @vanillaknj @yr-domxfantasies @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9 @silencefavarchive @nct99 @bigkpopstan @monstaxdirtywonk @rosiethefairy and always feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist <3

[sun-daisies]

ahhh quick euphoria 2x05 notes (spoilers, duh)

first of all to the people who are upset about no fezco and lexi, not sure we're watching the same show? last time I checked rue and her addiction was the anchor of the show and fez and lexi were side characters but 😬 like yeah I miss them too but it's not about them and it never was

anyway rapid fire thoughts because brain very full

the entire family intervention oh my god

ahhh and jules was there the whole time and the change on zendaya's face from the raw anger and terror and everything straight to shame and embarrassment and then back to a mortified rage and then it all comes out- ashjfhdsjga

real quick I just also wanna say that the portrayal of a drug addict in too deep in their addiction and how it turns you into the worst version of yourself to a point where you cant even recognize yourself anymore and how that shit affects your loved ones- damn they nailed it. every single one of them. props to the entire crew for not shying away from the ugliest parts of addiction, and for portraying it with such a nuance that it never once feels like theatrics. this was so raw and so real.

"you don't love me, you love being loved" or whatever the quote was. TWO things. 1- this is very deep rooted and so foul for rue to throw at jules, because there is some truth to it. but also, and I think from some of the posts ive seen in the euphoria tag, I think people are missing the point, that jules "ratting out" rue to her mom is the ultimate act of love for her. I'm also curious as to how this intervention echoes anything jules has experienced with her mom too, and if we'll ever get to explore that connection further. like I'd love to see a jules special episode like sea blob but after this has all transpired. or just. maybe I'll write a fic. idk.

"I liked rue the way she was" I've been really on the fence about elliot this whole time, a lot of his decisions are contradictory and it's really iffy to me what he's here for. last episode he knew rue went to the bathroom to do drugs, went in after her as if he was doing them too, then suggested stealing alcohol knowing damn well she shouldn't be mixing the two - all the while she has no idea that he's not mixing them too (if that makes sense). then he tells jules, and I think it's genuinely from a place of worry. because honestly? I think he does care about both of them, and its clicking for me this episode that they really are some of his only friends. I think this was expressed right when we met him, but this quote (which im seeing everyone get mad about and call him a bad guy, and I get why) is huge when we remember that he only has two friends that we know of. rue and jules (by extension, at least originally). and now after telling her mom that she's on drugs and seeing this side of her, he's lost one. it's seemingly a selfish sentiment, to say that he wishes he never told, that he liked her better before. but I think it's incredibly real of him. because now he feels guilty, he thinks he's destroyed one of his only friendships beyond repair, I mean just look at the way rue screamed at jules, all the horrible things she said to her. how did jules find out? through elliot. and maybe rue doesn't make that connection now, but she will, and elliot knows this. and keep in mind elliot isn't exactly the clearest mind in the room either - he's also on drugs, which gives him a certain degree of irrationality as it is. he's like in the beginning stage, and he's seeing how the same damn drugs that he does are affecting rue now, and its gotta be scary, because he could go there too, you know? or maybe he's thinking that could never be me. wow apparently I have a lot to say about elliot I think a lot of his character clicked for me this episode (if next episode he's some sort of villain like everyone says he is I'll just chug my dumb bitch juice and write a fix it fic).

oh my gosh and fez having to kick rue out, that's how you know it's bad too. rue's family to him.

this ep was a masterpiece in cinematography btw and the blocking of all the scenes was incredible- rue running into traffic, the entire police chase, gosh

cassie's "just take it day by day" as if she hasn't spent this entire season absolutely petrified from the what ifs of maddy finding out, as if everyone in that room has not seen her hyperventilating on the phone late at night and getting shitfaced and having an identity crisis. (it's still so frustrating to see all the hate she gets this season, she's sure as hell not the only one making dumb decisions and being a reckless teenager and breaking down but yet she's getting arguably the most hate for it.)

rue drops the nate bomb, maddy's pissed of course, cassie's worst fear comes true. we don't see what's next, and that's a good thing, this episode is a pivotal rue rock-bottom episode and if we suddenly switched to nate drama it would be absolutely jarring and would take away from both rue's story as well as the nate storyline. I desperately want maddy and cassie to realize that nate's abusive and treated them both horribly and after the arguing and screaming, they make up, are stronger friends than ever, kick nate's ass or whatever.

ohhhh laurie. obviously there's always been something off about her. I was fully convinced after her whole "being a woman means you can pay in other ways" thing that when she got rue in the bathtub she was going to do something, because obviously she knows that rue can't pay her back, and most likely is fully aware that rue never had any intention of following through. honestly, I think she knew this from the start. she totally set rue up. but anyway, woman sexual predator, I'm 75% sure that's what's going on here, whether she already did something to rue or will do something. I don't think rue's going to take her advice and sell herself to pay laurie back, but you really never know with this show

anyway I think that's all I got for now? this episode was so incredibly heavy adjghgjdshaj brb while I curl up in bed and stare at a wall for a bit