#and i think they dont even like. think about it. or regret anything. or know i feel this way. and my stupid ass is here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toytulini · 1 year

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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

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knifekris · 1 month

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every day i struggle to make choices

#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind #mostly because options suck #i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician #cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert #i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually #working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term #surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time #which is what limits most of my choices #i need to find more paid training programs i guess #if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself #but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late #i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly #acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying #it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics #but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever #i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training #because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for #and again #a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing #if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it #thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different #id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people #im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port #they were able to run like seven tests off of it #i had to use a couple ped tubes #she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier #labs are so miserable #checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world

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godsfavoritescientist · 2 years

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Its funny how brutally honest the axolotl poem is. Imagine being the most feared triangle in the multiverse and some giant space lizard tells your twelve year old sworn enemies about the time you saw your own dimension burn and then tells them "[bill] says he's happy, he's a liar." I think if I was Bill Cipher I would put the axolotl at the top of my enemies list for that one

#bill meta #the axolotl is just like 'yeah bill has a mysterious tragic backstory and he is sad about it.'#bills response wouldve been 'NUH UH! ive never felt a genuine feeling in my life i have never regretted anything ever!'#'also stop telling people my secrets what the fuck'#'who even are you. why do you think you know me. you dont even know me.'#i am coming up with another brutally honest axolotl poem for my post-weirdmaggeddon fic. bills gonna be so annoyed by it lmao #bill having a completely one sided rivalry with the most chill space god to ever exist is so funny to me

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foxpunk · 5 months

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i think everyone who is reblogging that post about how horrible and creepy and fucked up it is to speculate about someone being possibly trans needs to

1) think about why/when these speculations are being made. context matters. are they harassing or crossing boundaries of anyone specific/an actual concrete person, or simply making comments to themselves, to friends, or in a general open online area.

2) ask yourself if it is actually so bad and harmful to say someone could be trans.

3) ask yourself if these speculations about transness actually uphold gender norms. does being trans upholds gender norms. is a trans woman reinforcing stereotype if she wears makeup, or is a transmasc reinforcing stereotype if they get top surgery. why do trans people, especially trans women, do these things. if these actual actions are okay for trans people to do as their form of gender expression, then is this actually bad to simply speculate about.

4) ask yourself if you've heard this shit before like. does this at all bring to mind how straight people found it offensive to be speculated as gay, and the subsequent gross backlash against gay people helping anyone out of the closet, and the movement of "let bros be bros" gaining more attention/priority than. yknow. simply normalizing people being gay and that not being a bad thing or an insult to think someone may be gay.

5) most importantly: who is making these speculations. is it "people" in general like the post says or is it fellow trans people, who know what it is like to be closeted with no info, no other trans people to talk to, no way to explore themselves safely until someone says something first. and is it trans people or specifically trans women, who are especially vulnerable to these things. are these trans women actually being harmful or do you view trans womens' personal speculations as inherently forceful, creepy, and invasive.

6) ask yourself why that may be.

7) be honest.

#transmisogyny #transphobia #homophobia #'a guy in a dress doesn't HAVE to be a woman!' okay. doesn't have to Not be one either. why are you up in arms about it.#like. we have had this song and dance before people #its not some horrible invasion of privacy to think someone may be an egg or closeted #if you cross a boundary someone set or harass someone over gender (or anything) thats bad but if someone is just like #making anonymous jokes online what are you people even mad about #do you hear yourselves #ky speaks #this post is pointedly biased and obviously trying to lead people to specific conclusion and i dont trust tumblr at large with it anyways #so unrebloggable. but i said what i said #someone on the original post said 'said youre gonna push someone further away from being trans by bringing it up to them' (paraphrased)#GO OUTSIDE???#DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE THATD EVEN BE. YOU SOUND LIKE THOSE BIGOTS ARGUING AGAINST TOP SURGERY BC OF THE .1% OF PPL WHO REGRET IT OR SMTH #CHRIST #and like. okay. i know i sound pissed in this post and i am cause its upsetting to see other trans ppl reblogging it #the transmisogyny (including intercommunity. especially intercommunity in some ways) is always upsetting #but i also want anyone reading this to know this is your sign to jsut change and be better and then itll be fine yknow like #just work on this shit for the love of god #change or die idk what to tell you

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dayurno · 10 months

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any trans kevin thoughts and feelings to indulge on ur royal subjects currently cause i’m brainrotting abt him rn

YEAH ABSOLUTELY for my royal advisors who whisper in my ear (send me asks) during court. sorry these are a little sad but it's just me trying to logic it into the canon timeline :-) kevin will experience trans joy i promise

i think a few months back someone sent me an ask about trans kevin and how funny it'd be if tetsuji just drew the line at transphobia but i'm always of the opinion that the only reason tetsuji would agree with it is because it's easier to be a man in sports, so in that sense a lot of kevin's transition would be almost entirely beyond him. i don't think he'd have a say in even something as small as the dosage of his hormones, because the goal is always to make him pass as a cisgender man beyond the shadow of a doubt, his already limited bodily autonomy growing less and less as the years go by

which is why i think palmetto would be crazy for him. can you imagine? i think he'd be swallowing down that secret even looking straight into the barrel of a gun, so can you imagine how scary it'd be to suddenly have abby know? the doctors back in the nest were always threatened by tetsuji to keep their mouths shut, but she wasnt. i think in that sense kevin would need a lot of time to adjust, especially because abby would ask him details about his transition and kevin would realize he doesn't know them. what hormones do you take? did you take puberty blockers? who did your top surgery? and he'd have no idea. so it's eh. a rough few weeks and a LOT of unwanted medical attention

also re: kevin's insane intimacy issues, i think these would be exacerbated in this situation because tetsuji would be So Strict about the no sex rule. he couldn't trust anyone he's ever slept with to not out him as soon as possible, so it was easier for tetsuji to create terrible associations with sex since he was young than to actually control kevin's sex life down the line. eventually this task would be passed down to riko, and at that point i'm not sure how it'd go, but i think we'd meet a very repressed and aggressively chaste kevin in that situation. fascinates me. i love him

#trans kevins no good very bad transition LOL but as you expect hes conflicted about it in the end #yes its how he wanted to be. but the methods werent necessary #i dont think hed ever Regret any part of it but its still hard to deal with the truth that he had no say in anything #I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT OBVIOUSLY. i need to write transkev i need to #writing this im like do i even think jean would know. would kevin tell him?#im not sure. maybe. i think eventually jean would notice #he gets the closest out of everyone except maybe riko so. i dont know #tetsuji: if you have sex you will get pregnant and die 15 year old kevin cowering in fear:#ahhh its ok birdie. its ok. one day you'll see #asks #kevin

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v-anrouge · 7 months

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was that selfish of me to do

#i mean its not like i dont like them i really do they're super fun but they're so scary and they intimidate me #im too much of a pussy to swnd them anything explaining hell i dont even know if they'd like an explanation #idk why im still thinking abut this #(i do know i regret it)#but also #as much as i regret jt i idk i feel like im a burden to then #i feel like im a burden to everyone tbh #i feel like i maks most of my mutuals overthinking ans that they're afraid they'll upsey me because im unstable #this isnt their fault though its mine because im emotimal and i complain about everything and im super negative #i think all ny mutuals should cut me off immediately!#i think i nedd to disappear off of tumblr actually #i wonder uow many ppl look ay me and just think im absolutely pathetic #i wonde rhow msny of them regret becoming my mutuals #i must disappear the aster oersona its fallinf apart

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cookiecomics · 9 months

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#its probably because i got a double dose of antidepressants but i need to vent #i'm tired of feeling tired #i don't even know concretely what i want to talk about #but the latest reblogs have been on my mind alot #i don't think the past year would have affected me as much as it had if it wasn't for the shunning and silence that #that comes with talking about microaggressions and racism in fandoms #its one thing to have a bad experience with a few people #its another when most of the people you knew just watched it happened #i know people dont believe ne #its easier to say im the 'aggressive one'#its just sad because i don't even have to be black online #im sad i feel like i have to choose #but the fandom was the first time i had so many nonblack friends at once #and i regret it so much #funny enough my dad always warns me every year about that kind of stuff #about the importance of keeping your distance from non-black folks #because of how quickly they turn on u when you're labelled difficult #he told me that again yesterday and he has no idea any of this stuff happened #that im on antidepressants now because i didn't listen to him #needless to say the second i finish my fic i don't want anything to do with p5 again #the only reason ive even continued is cause i love my story so much #i dont see the point in putting so much of my heart out in a fandom not safe for black folks #then again what fandom even is #delete later

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philosophicallie · 4 months

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ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me

#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way #in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom #was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc #but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me #but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars #idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like #there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything #bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio #like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer #im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events #never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just #only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just #idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants #like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown #i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4 #the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours #idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until #i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12 #whatever. whatever #im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/

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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years

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Now I just feel sick to my stomach... like thinking what if I get top surgery and it doesn't fix me? Obviously it's not going to fix me, why would I even think that. It's something I've wanted so badly for so long that I don't know what's going to happen afterwards. I have problems unrelated to this and they aren't going away any time soon.

I just already feel bad, like I don't deserve this. I didn't earn this. I feel like I'm supposed to be happy and excited and satisfied about it/after it... but what if I'm not? I'm not scared that I'm making a mistake or that this isn't something I want- I'm fully certain that is- I'm just scared that there's something inherently broken inside of me. Something that I don't deserve to complain about. Something that I don't deserve to involve other people in.

I feel like I should just be grateful but what if I can't be? Is that justified or am I a bad person? I know that I want this more than I think I've ever wanted any single thing for myself... but what if it isn't even worth it? What if nothing ever is

#sorry depression posting because im kind of freaked out #i dont know how to function like this #its like idk do any of you have anxiety about receiving gifts? well this is really fucking big gift #i dont want to say anything negative about it even if thats me asking for help because what if people think im ungrateful #im so very grateful. but im scared. and i need help #i dont know how to react and im afraid ill react wrong and my girlfriend will regret doing this for me #and theres no way to undo it so then she would just feel resentful about me. especially everytime she sees my chest #that would break my heart. i would awful too #i need this to be okay

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our-lady-of-mcr · 5 months

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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn

#self #for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school #and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt #trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house #for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO #and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time #i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it #is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication #which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it #but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can #and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar #but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely #on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment #her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way #i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to #hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very #honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer #regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend #i am not the person who put that shit in your folder #though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is #and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building #that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months #yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you #AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not #im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that #shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything #so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything

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thecherrygod · 8 months

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#my posts #you know how this usually goes #i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao #... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better #maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more #2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man.#like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao #. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao #like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general #what i do isnt good enough #what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread?#and like all things considered i should be doing good currently #or at least not this bad #but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man.#so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao #also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me #but like.. more than usual #and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem #idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse #or they i will regret lmao #i. wont do any of those #also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die #not against it but its not the only option #just lay there and float..... also not against it #i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is #like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao #... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired #.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao #like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah #its kinda worse than i thought lmao

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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rgg can have a You Did The Bare Minimum award for keepin jo alive and not continuin the trend of one-shottin every interestin antag we meet but they esp deserve it cause lettin jo live the rest of his days in guilt and shame without the power to do anythin is pretty thematically consistent for him. if i may be insane to say.

#snap chats #Stream Of Consciousness dont look at me im rambling #EW this text post is longer than a tweet thats disgusting #i never even tweet outside of art on twitter. ok i do on my personal but i barely post there outside of qrting stuff lmao #In Any Case. i do have an essay on my dome about shame/guilt and jo i aint gon lie #thats been brewing for a while cause like.... lol..... lmao perhaps....#ill just keep it short and sweet rn cause my brain just aint fucntionin how the fuck is it 10pm hold on （；´д｀）#anyway Speedrun Version of what im thinkin tonight #jo's greatly motivated by the guilt he feels for his irresponsibility debilitating masato #he does all he can for him in an attempt to atone for that #but despite those attempts he still shoulders that never-ending guilt #despite those attempts i think its a fair wager to suggest he probably thinks there isnt anything he could do to properly atone #but he at least can and does still try right. this comes back to him going to jail i promise #beforehand jo /felt/ as though he was powerless to do anything- in prison he's /physically/ incapable of doing anything of use anymore #or. he's at least incredibly limited. the most he can do is tell ichi past info but Specifics right #moreover both the arakawas are gone: even if jo was free he still would have no conceivable way of 'redeeming himself'#esp in the case of arakawa that feeling of guilt is worse: this is another case that he arguably couldve prevented #obvi with masato that one is more sure He Definitely Could Have Prevented This but Specifics 2x right we know what im saying #my words are muddy but i hope we know what i mean. in prison all he can do is think and be left with his feelings #all he can do is stew in his regret and guilt. its like. Thematically the perfect consequence for him #like again One Thing to let him live but it also just so happens to play into that eternal guilt/utter powerlessness so well #this type of thing is going to decay my brain until LAD8 comes out and all of this is undone somehow but for now.... i love his misery...#ok this is the only vaguely. I Thought For More Than Three Miliseconds Today post youre gonna get im going back to being stupid

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shopzone462 · 10 months

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Flapping G Spot Vibrator for Women：‘’Layla‘’ Adult Rabbit Sex Toys with 9 Flapping Modes 4 Tickling Modes Waterproof Clitoralis Stimulator for Clit Nipple Anal Stimulation Rechargeable Adult Sex Toys

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

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get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2023

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toytulini · 1 year

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#toy txt post #i guess i just need to find a different job since this one seems to be. not great for me #but i also like. dont know what wont be bad for me. like sorry i just dont think there are jobs that are accessible to me that arent going #to feel Like This #at least in some way. and this one has good insurance and shit. and if i can get my shit together it has fucking. paid community service #time that i could theoretically use to like. volunteer at the aquarium or smth and have a day off for it and get paid by my job #which could be a foot in the door to a career that i am interested in but im just fucking. stuck and fatigued and in pain and wallowing and #have no fucking energy and i cant do anything and im fucking nocturnal and i joke about it and i was fine with it but i hate it i hate #not seeing the fucking sun and i miss my old job which is INSANE but i know what i miss about that job was #that it was part time. and i regret not doing more with that #but im also allergic to normal hours i guess i dont fucking know #i know part of it is prolly just feeling profoundly out if control of my life so i just stay up bc at least thats quiet time for me #w no expectations but thats not even tru bc i shoukd be at least doing my fucking laundry or smth cos it would make sense #and the fucking answer to so many of my issues rn is like just do that then or just stop doing that then but i cant i dont know why im just #like this ive always been like this stupid useless cant fucking do anything cant fix my shit just fucking wallowing and angry and doing #nothing and its just gotten worse cos now i have fucking chronic pain and fatigue and now i REALLY do FUCKALL #im depressdd and anxious and in pain i should get a therapist but thats hard and i dont fucking trust ppl #i should move out and maybe that would help bc i wouldnt feel like i have to wear a mask around my own house but im barely functioning #as is w a lot of support from my mom i cant fucking live on my own #not to mention the whole country being so fucking. Bad rn. ive done nothing all day not even resting #and tomorrow ill wake up too late and be in a rush and in pain and tired and just #i dont fucking know #im so miserable and lately so many topics can just send my stupid little brain just Spiralling but i dont want to say that i dont want ppl #to feel weird for talking about fucking college. i dont want to sit here being so bitter that something in my brain broke about school #im happy for ppl who can do their fucking college shit i just. smth wrong in my brain and i cant dwell on it and i try not to be too #outwardly negative about it cos i dont want ppl to feel like they cant talk to me about it or smth idk #rambling and venting and im gonna hit tag limit lmao for sure #been having the same goddamn problems nonstop for my whole life and its just that i cant fucking do anything #i have too much shit i should rid of #whatever

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cartoonrival · 2 years

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genuinely glad its over though so i can like actually be done. because i would be lying if i said i didnt itch everytime there was a sam ment on stream and iwasnt watching but i cannot live my life like that again

#txt157 #DONT MEAN THIS NEGATIVELY. i gen have no regrets with getting into it i met some super awesome people forreal #and i still seriously think the format of a story like that #where everyone is a main character and everything is plot and everything is all the time is SOO MUCH FUN even if it eats away my insides #it scratches the itch in my brain for making connections that arent there #and there really is so much love in it #esp in anything that happend before 2022 LOLL but you get it.#i dunno i htink its such a fun format and idk i really love passionate amateur storytellers having a lot of fun #like idk im never gonna diss the time i spent invested in it #ultimately a great community even tho the discourse was a bitch #but my corner never really had that lol we were all usually on the same page #which some people might say is an echo chamber but i think its curating my space. and i had more fun #obv had massive issues and was super frustrating at times bc of broken promises and droughts and whatever etc etc etc #but you all know that already #but anyways. heart. will not be caring about s2

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astrxealis · 2 years

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okay i'll seriously stop now (just a maybe) anyways please get into milgram listen the songs watch the mvs and all! <3

but just to ramble a bit: fuuta really is. so similar to the viewers/es

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#he's a twt user and kinda chronically online LMAOOO okay but to be serious. he doesn't really realize the #real world consequences of his actions until it's too late. and in the mv he so obviously shows regret and all #there's a scene where he's looking at his self from before doing the spraypaint again and tbh yeah dudes sadistic w that kinda thing #sadistic but in sort of a good way in a sense that he wants to deliver justice. but then things escalate too far as well #<- probably starts calling out people for the smallest things. not anymore about justice #or it still is about justice but even in the littlest of things... anyways yeah he likely starts it but then the others r the ones #who put more flame to the fire. i think he has problems w attention too so this kinda yk. makes him feel seen... or idk how to phrase it #bcs dude spends most of his time online right? the whole gaming thing might be an escape from reality in that he #likely doesn't have much friends if any at all (he also doesn't really get along w anyone in the prison. but i think he is a good person bc #he cares for haruka bcs hes younger). hmm. fuuta knows what's the deal with milgram #anyways yeah i think it is all just so interesting. he's definitely regretful and feels guilty and also... he's hinted at stuff #uhm. worrying. stuff. if yeah? idk how to phrase it but i think it is safest to really vote him innocent (also he deserves it imo)#he still needs to improve w some stuff but then again i dont think we should be Extremely Harsh #yk scruntinizing everything. voting him guilty again for a 'small' yk. not that what hes doing is negligible but i mean that he's #starting to improve (even if his... mental state is getting worse it seems) and it feels wrong and is exactly what he calls out #es/the viewers for if we vote him guilty for the smallest of mistakes/injustices even when he's yk. getting 'better'#sorry for terrible explanations here i hope it makes sense oml #i dont think fuuta meant anything bad fr. and then the drama audio w es like... agh wait im putting that aside for now bcs goddamn #i think there's smth to do w. Pressure. ofc. duh. LMFAO. maybe peer pressure to join in the cyberbullying #he likely didnt mean for it to escalate but maybe he started losing himself in it all w a sort of hero complex #ahhh trying to tie together stuff from the 1st trial and 2nd trial is complicated bcs the two have similar but different themes

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