#and i told her if i stopped doing stuff id cry so

[puppysdog]

[ryuseitai]

so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin

[darkchocoboo]

don’t make me lose you. i already found you so late | joel miller

TRIGGER WARNING! SH

Su**ide attempt! Detailed description of how they feel. They’re really in a bad mind-set. If this triggers you please please don’t read. (And remember you worth more than everything on this universe. Please don’t be ashamed and seek for help.)

cw: darkness, anger, MAJOR mental breakdown, curse words, guns

summary: Everything in this world feels fucked up and at some point you can’t take it. But Joel wants you to know that he’ll be there for you everytime you need him. He’s your savior.

A/N: I know everything seems so dark but it will get better I promise.

"Look at me Ellie.  I need you to pull yourself together, okay? Can you do that for me baby? C'mon Els. C'mon babygirl.  We don't have time for that. We can't waste time. Joel is waiting for us. C'mon. Get up. I need you. I need you strong baby. You're stronger than me.  If you break down I break down. We can't afford that. Please, please, please, get up. What we saw in there is not easy on anyone. I know, believe me.  If we had time, I would cry my eyes out here. But I can't, fuck. Fuck this. Fuck me. Remember what Joel told you, Els? Repeat it. C'mon. Say it out. C'mon." You kicked the rocks under your boots.  Hands caressed your hair as you try to hold back your tears.  

"Fuck, Ellie. Say it!" You yelled at the girl sitting on a concrete.

"He, he told me to keep you safe." She wiped her tears with back of her hand. Got up.

You hugged her with pain in your heart. Shook of the guilt and anger that you felt for yourself. You had to be strong for Ellie. You had to be strong for yourself. You had to be strong for Joel. There was no place for weakness.

"Let's go Els. He's waiting for us." You hold her hand as you walked on the concrete road. Sun was setting on the empty road. Gun's strap on your shoulder was cutting into your skin with its weight. Twisted ankle's pain was spreading over your body with every step you took. Blood on your your skin dried with the cold breeze. Ellie was quieter than she ever was. You just wanted to open her brain and erase everything she saw because of you.

Joel asked only one thing from you since the beginning. Only one thing. To take Ellie as he handles other important stuff. And meet him where you decided before. And you fucked it up. You screwed up so bad that now Ellie was hurt. You hurt Ellie. You wanted to grab the gun that was hanging from your thigh, put the tip in your mouth and pull the trigger. Knowing that you failed, weight was crushing you.

When sun was down and weather was cold, your destination was a mile away but your legs was about to give up. The smoke from Joel's fire was in sight in clear air. When your knees gave up and your swollen ankle was in unbareble pain you dropped your body under the nearest tree. You pulled your knees to youe chest, your head falling on them.

"Ellie, you go. I will be there in a minute, okay? Tell Joel I'll be alright. Stay with him. Never leave his side. Run. Go. Signal me when you're with him." Ellie wanted to resist but was too tired to do so.

When she turned back and walked away from you the tears you were holding back the whole time started running down on your cheeks. Leaving a trail of dirt and blood. Fingers brushed over the gun on your leg. Your mind getting dizzy with the idea. Idea of being that. Leaving everything behind. The Clickers, the chaos, the pain, Ellie, Joel.

Joel.

The man who saved you. The man who gave you everything in the middle of nothing. The man of your dreams. The man that you love. You were sure that he loved you as a friend, or a sister, a daugter. But you couldn't help yourself falling for him.  You couldn't stop your feelings for him. That was another topic that you failed him. He protected you from the world like he protected Ellie, but you loved him in a different way. You desired him, even. The way he talks, walks, stands, sleeps, eats. That man triggered something inside you.

It was all over now. Your life was gonna be over in seconds. You pulled gun from its case. Cocked it. Put the muzzle on your temple. Cold from it soothed the thin skin. Your finger walked to the trigger. A small shaky breath left your lips. Eyelids closed with the relaxation. Knowing that everything was gonna be over.  

"Hey! Hey! Put the gun down. What the hell are you doin'?" Joel's paniced voice filled your ears as he panted.

"Put it down. PUT IT DOWN Y/N!" You opened your eyes when he yelled at you. Never stopping tears was now faster. Your eyes started to burn.

"I fucked up, Joel. It's over. I failed Ellie, I failed you. I fucked everything up."

"No, babygirl. No, she's safe. You're safe. We can fix everything else. Give me the gun." He took a step towards you. Your hand raised to stop him from getting closer. You didn't want your blood over his shirt. You wanted him to stay out of this.

"You'll be better of without me, Joel. I'm just a failure. Just let me do it."

"Ellie needs you Y/N. Fuck. I need you. Can't do it without you. Please. Let me help you. Baby, please." His voice was now weak, he looked smaller to you. He mumbled things under his breath but your mind was to busy to understand. Your head started to spin, your stomach was burning up with the intense feeling. You tried to stop yourself from puking but it was to late. Gun dropped from your hand as you leaned over with the gagging reflex. He grabbed the gun as you emptied your stomach. Unloading it with shaky hands.

"You're okay baby. I got you. I got you." He pulled you to your legs, wrapped his arms around your waist.

"You gonna be fine. I got you." He kissed the temple that was touching with the gun's muzzle. "We got this." His hands caressing your back with soothing motions.

"Joel, I," Your tears left wet patches on his dark colored flannel.

"I don't know what to do. I, I can't keep going." He squeezed you more with each of your words.

"Y/N look at me. Ellie wouldn't be here without you. I wouldn't be here without you. You took a fucking bullet for that kid, remember?"

His hardened fingertips found the scar tissue on your shoulder. A spider web shaped, darkened skin. Still hurting everytime you think about it.

"I need you. I need you to be right by my side when I need you the most. Like you always did."

You dropped on your knees, taking him with you. Sharp rocks cut your skin and dig into your knees that your ripped jeans left unprotected. Pain made you sob. Harder than before.

You looked through his dark orbs with dove eyes.

"Is Ellie gonna be okay, Joel?" He pressed his lips to your forehead.

"She fell asleep. You wanna talk about what happened or do you wanna talk when you're better?"

You closed your eyes in pain.

"She saw it. Went into that room before I could stop her. I was slow, Joel. I couldn't protect her. I had one job. I failed. She may be alive but I know it will hunt her dreams for the rest of her life. Joel. I'm useless."

"She's stronger than you think. It's gonna be alright. But, baby I know this is not the only reason. What got you so vulnerable?"

Your nails dig into his biceps. Pain in your heart never going away.

"I don't know Joel. Nothing. Everything. I feel tired. I feel small. I feel useless. I feel lost. I feel alone. Like you have Tommy. Ellie has you. Who do I have? All alone in this fucking fucked up world trying to survive. Fighting for my life everyday. And it all ends up with nothing in my hands. Just more pain in lonely cold nights."

Joel's big hands grabbed your chin to make you look at him. You could see the pain in his eyes under the dim moon light.

"You have me, baby."

His eyes dropped to your scarred lips in the silence of the night. Thumb brushed against bottom lip, looking through every expression on your face for courage to do it.

"Don't make me lose you. I found you so late already."

He pressed his lips to yours. Washing over every feeling away from you for a moment.

[strangeshoepatrolbandit]

Dick Grayson x GN!Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend rushes to your side as he learns that you're in the hospital for a family member. Germaphobia sucks.

Warnings: Hospital, Germaphobia, injured loved one.

This was written whilst I sat inside of a hospital emergency/waiting room...I fucking hate germs.

~☆~

This was your Hell. In the middle of a sickening hospital waiting room. Sitting down in the blue chairs that can only be contaminated with God knows what. You could feel the germs sitting on your sweaty hands, transferring onto whatever you touched. You resisted the urge to get up and leave, the feeling of the cloth chair sitting against your pants becoming too much. It was almost 11PM you could only dread the thought of who had sat here during the day, and the last time the seats were cleaned.

You wanted to cry with every breath you took. You were in such a hurry to get in there that you completely forgot to pick up a mask. Your chest hurt just at the thought of breathing in something from someone else, though barely anybody was in the room with you.

The vibrations of your phone ringing brought you out of your thoughts.

"Richard (penis) Grayson" The caller ID identified. Weird...he should be on patrol..

"Hello?"

"Hey, where are you?" He asked.

"Hospital, Nana fell again.." You voidantly told him about your great-grandmother, who had also just suffered from a fall about five months ago, resulting in a broken hip.

"Again?"

"Mhm."

"What hospital? I'll bring you some things." He said. You told him what hospital and mumbled out a low "thank you." then the two of you said your goodbyes.

×

It wasn't much longer before he got to the hospital, walking in and immediately sitting in the seat next to you.

"Alright, how is she?" He asked, welcoming you as you layed your head on his shoulder.

"Couple of cuts, broken tail bone, and we're waiting on another CT scan." You informed. "They're gonna keep her because of her blood pressure, just like last time."

"How are you?" He questioned.

"I'm okay, I know she'll be fine." You sighed.

"I'm talking about the germs." He stated, holding your head in his hands so that he could look into your eyes.

"Oh.. I don't know." You mumbled.

"Do you need to step out?" He whispered, eyebrows crinkling together at the thought of your discomfort.

"I don't know.."You confessed.

He looked at you for a few seconds before rising to his feet and grabbing your hand. "Let's go."

"Well, be right back." He smiled at your grandparents before leading you to outside.

"Here, I have some of your hand sanitizer." He whispered, already taking the travel sized bottle from his pocket and opening it. You immediately put up both of your hands, waiting for the welcoming feeling of alcohol washing away some of your worries. He put some of the clear gel in your hands and waited for you to rub it in before doing the same to his hands.

"Why aren't you working?" You asked. Normally, you would've called it patrol, but being out in the open made you keep it vague.

"I stopped by the apartment to see you, and you were gone." He smiled. "You're more important than that stuff."

"Thank you.." You shyly whispered out.

"Of course, I love you."

"I love you too."

~☆~

Fun-ish fact: My grandmother got a call that we needed to be here whilst we were watching "The Batman"(2022)

[precious-little-scoundrel]

my dearest darlingest marina i need you to know you have broken me quite thoroughly and i might never ever forgive you for it as long as we both shall live ! ❣️

to clarify- ive been saving "let's fall out of love" to read later ever since you posted it cuz i didn't feel ready- didn't think i was emotionally stable enough to read it then. well, tonight ive been clearing out my list of unread fics from last year aND GODDAMN WAS I EVER RIGHT ABOUT THAT.!!!

started getting all weepy and shaky before that first courthouse bathroom conversation and i didn't ever stop 😭 sobbed so hard and for so long at the unfairness of it all (for both of them !) i gave myself an asthma attack and had to stop reading.. what really broke me was e's bittersweet and somewhat detached realization on the courthouse steps that all their kids had flocked to laney during the divorce. couldn't stop thinking abt how badly i would've wanted to tell jesse off for being sharp to his daddy, and the knowledge that elaine COULDN'T, that it wasn't quite over yet and she still had to save face for a bit longer despite how much it killed them both, despite being the only person who could truly understand just how deep elvis was hurting right then and having been the one who'd made a whole life out of loving him hard.......... the idea of him resigning himself to having lost that forever (false) and her having to go against everything in her nature to let him ache a while longer,, oh it just shattered my spirit to bits right then and there. oh god im gonna start crying again just thinking about how lonely they both made each other 💔💔💔

im literally inconsolable, even with the reasoning behind it/ knowing how it ends beforehand, and having those future timeline fics to fall back on did nOT SAVE ME like . dear GOD woman how is that even possible?!?? if i had any shred of humanity left in my body id wax poetic for three more paragraphs abt how that speaks to your truly absolutely outstanding talent as an author and worldbuilder, but alas i think i cried out everything that was keeping me sane sometime in the last half hour and now i have to go lie facedown on the floor in my hallway and die abt it all instead 👍 fantastic work as always i love all your work so much forever etc etc 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

ps: it took me the better part of an hour to type all this out since ive lost the water content of approxinately a small ocean w my tears and am doing physically poorly in response 🫠🫠 so thanks for ur patience in this trying time 😔🙏

I spun around in circles upon reading this like my poor coon dog when she had a stroke -jovially of course. Like this is the stuff every writer dreams of getting for feedback but holy smokes, your talent for screaming? Beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve always told you how much I appreciate your time and enthusiasm to tell your thoughts Mary Hope, and now is no exception. My babe and co-author @elvisabutler deserves the pleasure of reading what we’ve wrought, as well. I’ll be halving all your medical and psychiatric expenses with her. 😏

Tbh, despite knowing both imminent and longterm reconciliation was to happen after this segment, we were just as cut up about tearing them apart as you were to read it. In fact, it was worse than all the lead up fics where the passive aggressive accumulation of grievances came across as hurts but ultimately only aggravations. This is just…PAIN. Funny how what was untenable before a tragedy suddenly appears to have been idyllic after it. Anyways.

Thank you for reading, here’s some Kleenex, albuterol and do know the sequel to this divorce is in drafts, so not finished AT ALL but it is in the works.

Not that it’ll hurt much less than this one. 😈

[cookiekitkat8484]

ive seen gravity falls a million times at this point but I've never been able to bring myself to rewatch weirdmagedon, not because its bad its amazing but its just always felt special and I didn't want it to end again. I rewatched it with my friend and wow it hits hard. the first time I watched it I was mabels age and id never related to a character more. i can remember sitting on the floor with my dad in silence and crying while the credits rolled. everything felt so big and scary and unknown and if I could have stayed in my own mabel bubble I don't think I can tell you I would have left back then. there were times in my life I really thought I wouldn't make it to 18, but I grew up. watching it now I think I've been able to get a new message from the show aswell. if you told her I relate more to old man mcgucket then wendy I don't think shed believe you. not only can I be brave enough to keep growing with the help and love of those around me, but I think I can look back on myself then and love her too. now Im able to relate more to some of the older characters there's a big theme of self forgiveness. once you know what growing up was like its easy to remember the bad bits and hold mistakes against yourself, but there's a quote from an old interview alex hirsch did that "With this series, there’s a chance to give a fictionalized version of myself all of those wishes I wished would come true." maybe we cant ignore reality and the bad stuff that comes with it, but that doesn't mean we don't deserve the fun and love and wonder and adventure we hoped for. i grew up but I never stopped being that little girl crying as she sat on the floor. i wish I could make all her wishes come true, and so the best I can do now is to keep living and making new adventures for the both of us. I've still got a lifetime of growing to do, but I did it. i made it guys. i just wish I could tell her we made it. maybe ill rewatch again when I'm stans age and ill think the same thing.

[markets]

For some reason this song will always remind me of the girl who will never realize what she did to me. i was always good friends with her ex boyfriend and she was always good friends with mine, and the way she acted around him sometimes bothered me once we broke up but i never said anything about it. one day she decided i was too close to hers and accused him of a bunch of stuff (none of which was true) while also saying god knows what to my ex about the whole thing even though he and i were still friends and im pretty sure a big reason why her ex would go to me for advice about their situation was because i was the only one of his friends who didnt tell him to just block her. i remember telling him that if he wanted to stop talking to me for the foreseeable future i genuinely wouldnt mind, because i didnt think it was worth all the trouble it was causing him. but he kept being my friend and ill always appreciate him for that

i would also constantly tell him to tell her to talk things out with me because i still considered her a close friend despite all the vile stuff she was doing to her ex months after they broke up, and she eventually did but i know she was just scratching the surface of what was really bothering her because her ex told me that before she even talked to me she'd already decided to just distance herself. sometimes he'd point out the hypocrisy in her getting mad at us being friends while she was close to my ex and i always told him to be careful, since i knew that she could easily twist that around to make me look jealous of their friendship even though, at this point in time, i wasnt anymore.

I now know that that's exactly what she did, since when my ex told me he couldnt be friends with me anymore he cited her as one of the main reasons. We used to be so close and then she got slightly mad at me and immediately went for two of my most important friendships, the worst part is i dont even think she realized she was doing it. i knwo i ruined my own life these past few months but if i were to blame anyone else, it would be her. She honestly scares me and i really dont ever want to talk to her again. And yet the other night i saw her crying on some stairs and ran to her. my ex boyfriend, who im not speaking to, came in from the opposite direction and asked me what i was doing, i said i was there to talk to her and he said ok you can talk to her then and i said no you can and he said no you can and walked away, i said "we both can" but he didnt hear me. I sat down next to her, gave her a hug, and asked what was wrong, she started talking about how her ex didnt care about her. when i assured her that he did, because he had no reason to talk to her if he didnt, she just shook her head. she kept talking and she was saying everything i was thinking about my own situation, and it almost made me cry until i remembered that she had everything i didnt, in every sense of the phrase. she had someone who cared about her, who wouldve been willing to stay with her if she hadnt done everything she did, who still loved her. I knew id fucked up but id tried so hard in ways she never had and yet i didnt have anything, not even my best friend. who she also had. I hated her so much in that moment but i just hugged her harder.

if she ever asks me about the whole thing ill tell her all this, and i know she'll pick out one small thing from it and use it to tell everyone im a horrible person, but i dont care anymore. Yesterday the planes over me were flying lower than ever and all i could think about was if any of them were going home

[rorywritesjunk]

Ok I'm curious. What's your explanation for how Buggy has three wives and everybody is ok with that? It's just kinda funny to think of Buggy having enough self-esteem to think he could even get away with it. Not that I wouldn't love a cozy little polycule of my own, but I'm not sure how this one even happened.

This makes me mad about the crashed Tumblr post because I wrote about their stuff in that. I'm rewriting it in a word document now so it won't happen again, but here's the brief rundown (since writing it out is getting long).

It's in bullet point form. It's long. I don't know how to write it without it being so damn long, sorry! But I've been wanting to write them out properly since the idea was first brought up.

Short summary: Each married years apart, not one big wedding. Sunny was the first, Cupcake the second, and Birdie the third. They get along really well, pretty much married to each other as much as they are to Buggy. If there's any issue in the marriage Id like to think it's Buggy who causes them (no filter, is an idiot).

Sunny and Buggy married first at age 21. He fell in love first with her and was an idiot about it. She eventually fell in love with him and the second she said "I love you" he asked to marry her.

Cupcake came next after being rescued from the arranged marriage. She and Sunny become best friends and Buggy's like "why am i starting to fall in love with this other woman what is wrong with me?!"

Drunk and Crying Buggy confesses to Sunny six months after Cupcake joins the crew that he has the same feelings for her that he has for Sunny and he thinks there's something wrong with him.

And Sunny's like "that's okay" because her aunt on her dad's side is married to someone who has a wife and husband, and Buggy's like, people actually do that?

Sunny tells him to talk to Cupcake, don't just confess feelings, because she wants him to do it right if he's going to court her. And Buggy's kind of dumb. He figures flowers and fancy words would woo Cupcake but it doesn't. She thinks he's an idiot.

And what Buggy doesn't know is that Cupcake got drunk one night and told Sunny she thinks her husband is stupidly hot, and does his nose honk? But she respects that Sunny is his wife and won't do anything to get between them because she loves Sunny so much as well.

So basically Sunny is going to play matchmaker between her husband and best friend because she loves them both and wants them both to be happy.

Buggy and Cupcake exchange rings. Cupcake had been married, it had been a living nightmare, but she doesn't sense that with these two. It's going to be different.

Is it perfect? No. There's disagreements, misunderstandings, things like that. Sometimes jealousy happens, but when Sunny decides to start Girls Night for her and Cupcake, it helps, even if Buggy is upset at being left out (though he doesn't tell them).

It works for a few years and Buggy wonders how the hell he managed to get two awesome wives who love him and each other. Shanks could never.

And Buggy feels good about it, everything is great, and when Sunny's birthday comes around and they stop at some island to celebrate, he swings by a bakery to get her a cake and... damn, the baker is really cute.

And he turns and leaves the bakery because he can't deal with with how cute the baker is. When he comes back to the ship without a cake, Sunny and Cupcake goes to investigate and Cupcake also goes "Aw shit she's cute".

Birdie and Sunny hit it off immediately. They are able to talk about baking, ingredients, recipes, things like that. And Cupcake tells her about some stories she has about the circus, about growing up as a fisherman, and Birdie is impressed Cupcake still has all of her limbs and things after hearing how she helps take care of a lion that likes to put her head in his mouth when he feels anxious.

Birdie is invited back for Sunny's birthday party. Buggy doesn't want to talk to her because damn, she seems great, and she talks to him, wonders what it's like being a pirate captain, and is it normal for them to have multiple spouses? And he can't really even talk because he's a bit of a failure when it comes to flirting. It didn't work with Cupcake so it wouldn't work again, right?

Well, he got lucky twice, it wouldn't happen a third time, right? The next day after the party, he goes to the bakery, and Buggy isn't always the most observant guy, so Birdie casually asks if he has an opening on his crew and yea, he does. Sunny does a lot of work for the crew and could use a hand with it. Birdie jumps at the chance because there's two shady guys in the bakery who she is trying to ignore, but her father had owed their boss money and he never paid, so they're coming after her and if she doesn't pay, well, accidents of all kinds can happen in a kitchen.

Buggy is conflicted again when these feelings start for Birdie next. He gets drunk and confesses it to all three of them one night that he's falling in love again. It's been only three months. Sunny and Cupcake are amused by this because they saw it coming. Birdie is a little more apprehensive because she thinks Sunny and Cupcake are wonderful, she couldn't compete.

Sunny and Cupcake bring Birdie along for Girls Night. This is how they really get to know each other and Birdie sees how Sunny and Cupcake get along, how they handle things during these get togethers, she decides to talk with Buggy.

Buggy and Birdie exchange rings within a year of her joining the crew.

He really doesn't know how he got lucky and landed three wonderful wives even if they'll collectively roast him and pick on him. He could never say something mean to them on purpose but sometimes he's stupid and says dumb things (he once compared Birdie's baking to Sunny's cooking and it was Not Nice and ended with Birdie in tears. Cupcake and Sunny turned on Buggy pretty quickly and that was the first time he was kicked out of the main bed and forced to sleep alone).

Yea. It's... it's gonna be long. I found no way to shorten it.

[shitsandgiggles1]

Mason mount x reader

Summary- you and mason use to be together however after giving birth to your baby the two of you decided to split. What happened after seeing him for the first time ?

Warnings- angst, fluff.

If you was to tell me two years ago that mason and I was going to split id laugh in your face and call you ridiculous, that’s probably why it hurt so much when we did actually split. If you was to tell me two years ago that me and mason was going to have a baby, I would probably believe you.Very ironic how both those things happened in the space of nine months isn’t it.

When I found out I was going to have a baby I was terrified, not because I didn’t want one, But because I didn’t know how mason would react. However, to my relief he was very pleased and over the moon like I was to find out that we was expecting.

The next nine months we’re what I would say a rollercoaster. Mason changed when he found out that we was having a baby and not in a good way. He started becoming distant not that I know the reason of why. When I made it known that this needed to stop he’d apologise and help me out weather it was stuff around the house or with the baby, but then he’d just go back to being distant.

After a while of going round in circles I had enough, I was tired of feeling like I was on my own with this baby. I had decided I knew what I was going to do and luckily my baby was coming right round the corner.

When I told mason that I couldn’t do this anymore and that I wanted to break up he was devastated, who am I kidding I was too but I needed to do this. If he was going to treat me like I wasn’t a girlfriend then I wouldn’t be one. We had decided that when mason had football Lilly would stay mostly at my house and he would have her when he could, however when he didn’t have football he would stay at hers and i would have her for two days every week.

Normally when i would take her to his house i would give her a kiss on the cheek and watch her from the car to make sure she got in safely and mason would do the same. At first it was to save the awkward conversations and because I feared if I spoke to him I would cry, but as the more time went on it became so natural that I think it would of been even more awkward to speak to him so I didn’t. So to say I was utterly speechless when I saw him when I was out with a few of my friends would be a understatement. I quickly turned my head back to my friends and payed attention to what they were saying rather then how absolutely breathtaking the man i use to love looks behind me.

I was hoping he wouldn’t come over so I wouldn’t have to worry about a conversation but I guess I jinxed myself because while I was listening to my friend, I noticed her eyes slowly drift right behind me slightly widen and then look at me in a panic. That was when I recognised a family accent that I once use to love.

“Long time no see Danni”

My friend looked at me panicked I’m guessing she didn’t know what to say or if I’d be angry if she was to talk to him. I slightly nodded my head at her showing her it was fine and that there was no chance now. I didn’t bother turning around knowing he’s right behind me probably with his friends.

“I’m doing okay thanks” nice and snappy I’d say her answer was

“Good had a good birthday ?” He replied. I furrow my eyebrows at my friends not understanding why he hasn’t left.

“Yep thank you” she replied once again very short. Not bothering to look at him anymore thinking the conversation was finished and so did I for that matter. That was until I realised his friends were with him and began chatting to some of Danni’s mates.Safe to say I was utterly screwed because he decided to plump himself down on the seat next to me as it was the only seat on this table left.

Once he realised danni was talking to someone else he just sat there tapping his fingers against his thighs looking very awkward. I decided I’d might as well say something as he is the father of my baby and that is when I realised that is what I could start a conversation with

“Who’s Lilly with right now” I asked quite firm as I was still worried about where my daughter was if he’s here and he’s suppose to be looking after her.

“With my mum and dad, sorry I forgot to tell you they were gonna be babysitting her”

“It’s fine as long as she’s safe”

“How’ve you been anyway seems ages since I last spoke to you.” I slightly winced at his words realising the last time we spoke was when I had told him I wanted to split.

“I’ve been good actually how have you been” he nodded at my answer while drinking his drink that he must have brung over.

“Yeh good anything new happened ?”

“Nah nothing really just been busy with Lilly and work you ?”

“Same and football” he said laughing.

“Off course how is football” I said grinning. “Tiring but i love it so I got nothing bad to say about it,” he said once again laughing. We soon came to a comfortable silence realising there was nothing else to say and that is when I realised that everything would be just fine.

[v3nusxsky]

Peer pressure

*Authors note~ I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to this love I hope it's okay*

Trigger warnings~ peer pressure, alcohol drugs stick and pokes easily led r and depression

Prompt~ Hey idk rly how requests work but I wanted to request a lesso x reader H&C fic -where the reader kinda has like a mental breakdown cuz their friends keep pressuring them into like drinking and drugs and stick and pokes and they're just tired of doing stuff they don't really wanna be doing and having to hide it from everyone- idk just some personal issues I'm going through that I need some comfort for if u do write it id really appreciate it and I don't really want credit but it's fine if u don't do ya thanks also I love ur writing it helps me a lot so thanks for that <3 requested by mystery272722 on wattpad

You'd always been told you were easily led. In a world full of Shepard's and sheep, you were undoubtedly a sheep. A follower of anyone really. You aimed to please, and if you didn't you worried you'd lose the person or that you'd somehow lost your worth. This is what made you vulnerable and easy to exploit, despite knowing that you were powerless to stop. Seeking validation and friendship and finding it in the wrong crowd.

You liked to think you were a good student, as good as a never can be anyway. But this new group of friends you found yourself in seemed to be the complete opposite. The first hint was when they encouraged you to go drinking. You didn't really want to drink, alcohol wasn't your thing, but every time you said no your friends would keep pushing you to. That night you ended up caving and telling them "just one" which ended up being an awful amount, so much so you had no idea just how much alcohol was floating around in your system. The hangover you were going to have in the morning would be one hell of a bitch to deal with. Yet your friends were no where to be seen in the morning, probably off nursing their own hangovers. You promised yourself you'd be stronger next time.

The next time was when a few of them decided to get high. It wasn't something you ever wanted to try, you had no interest and truly you hated the smell of it. Yet you still wish d to keep your friends so you went with them, knowing you'd told them you wouldn't be smoking. Oh how wrong you'd been. They let you get comfortable before adding on the pressure, goading and taunting you into smoking with them. "Don't be a baby, it's just a little smoke" they whined watching as you coughed and spluttered after taking a hit. It tasted god damn awful, you didn't understand why anyone would want to do this willingly. Upset with yourself for not being stronger you managed to break away from the group.

The third time they were doing stick and pokes. You didn't want one, if you were going to get tattoos then it would be done in a shop by a trained professional, not some drunk and high 17 year old in the schools classroom. Truly you wondered why they choose to set up here, after all a classroom? But you left them too it, until the pressure became too much. "It doesn't even hurt why are you such a whimp" the whined trying to catch you and put you in the chair. "No thank you. I don't want to" you whimpered trying to stand up to them only to fail. They'd caught you and held you still in the chair.

Just as the needle pierced the skin and you let out a pained cry. That cry alerted Leonora Lesso to come and see the room, the sight that met her truly broke her heart. Your so-called friends holding you down as you cried. Instantly, she began barking orders at you all, dismissing the unnecessary students before ensuring they let you go. You were instantly up, out of the chair and into her arms. Your sobs wrecked your body as you clutched your arm to your body. Her hand soothingly ran up and down your spine before instructing your friends to be taken to the doom room. Maybe if you were willing to have the stick and poke she could've turned a blind eye, but seeing how distressed you were she knew they had to be punished.

"Sweetheart, you should never be forced into something you don't want to do. And if your friends don't listen to you Angel then they aren't good friends to have" she finished her little speech she dropped a quick sweet kiss to your head before asking to see your arm. You allowed her too and she gently healed the small pokes. "There sweetheart it never happened, if anything should ever happen like this I want you to come and find me okay Angel" you nodded in conformation that you would before just soaking in her motherly embrace.

Word count~ 861

[simons-sweater-town]

Dead silence.

…Is she not going to say anything? Is your sister not going to rebuke you? Is she not going to yell or cry or…anything?

…No, she poses a simple, curious question.

“Why?”

*simon still doesnt look at her. he cant do it yet. cant bring himself to see her expression.*

...honestly? i was curious. a friend of mine who liked to mess around with technology and vr games and whatever reached out to me to tell me that hed found something weird and wanted me to check it out. it wasnt long before i realized that he had found some weird digital world somewhat similar to ours. i wanted to see what it was about, wanted to see what it was like in there. i built a headset for every person who worked on it with me. built each one by myself. had a friend who worked on the coding of the headsets, had another who figured out how to keep our bodies here while our minds were in there. two others who didnt do much except volunteer to test it.

*he goes quiet, opening his eyes to stare at the sky above through the tree branches before continuing.*

they both lost their memories. we pulled the headsets off when we realized that, but they didnt know anything about who we were, about who they were. they ran from us, terrified. i havent seen either of them since.

*he lets that hang between them for a long time before he continues in a small whisper. theres pain and guilt in his voice, and for the first time in a long, long time, he lets himself cry.*

the others wanted to keep going. keep working on it. fix that flaw so we wouldnt lose our memories. i told them no. it was too dangerous, and besides, we didnt have anyone else to test it on. they still wouldnt listen to me, so i... i moved everything up to the radio tower. without their knowledge.

*theres so much guilt in his eyes, it hurts to look at.*

i lost their friendship. they didnt know where it was, but they knew i had taken it, and they stopped talking to me. this whole time, you three had no idea. i just said i was hanging out with friends. i had wanted to show you all, before i realized the danger.

*he closes his eyes. his tears flow silently, glistening on his cheeks.*

i moved it to the radio tower because i knew it could be safe there. at least from you three. steven was a coward. he had no idea how to fight. he was terrified of that place. you and octavia were always so busy with your magical girl stuff that i assumed youd have no reason to go sniffing around there.

*he opens his eyes and finally looks at katrina, guilt and pain and hurt that had been hidden for months glistening in his gaze.*

and then steven disappeared, and octavia overheard me talking to myself after id seen him in there from the screen, and so she left without a word and after a week of praying she knew what she was doing, i had to follow. i wrote that note and put it on my desk and left you behind, too absorbed in my guilt to realize that i was leaving you to fend for yourself.

*its clear from his heavy sigh at the end that this is something that has been weighing him down for a long time.*

[hexcryingwolf]

hey so, like,

i need somebody close to glip to confront them about the Pearl thing.

i need someone to be as upset about the idea of it as i am.

i need it to be the last straw for somebody.

because if none of that happens, i cant even articulate how horrid that is. that the prospect of this accusation doesnt upset people.

i hope its not true. i hope with every fiber of my being that it didnt happen.

but i fully believe it did. four years after leaving that space my want was still for glip to heal, stop hurting people, and become a better person. i was still pretty scared of them, but i had pretty much moved on by the beginning of this year. there was nothing i could do about it, and sharing my experiences would just put a target on my back anyway, so as a lot of huge life changes were on the horizon for me i felt prepared to let go.

but i cant let this go. after years of tending the wounds that community inflicted on my this was a knife directly into my heart.

remember that political thing that happened in november 2016? i was in the flora irc by that time, and everyone was very rattled by it. glip announced that, to put some good into the world, theyd do a commission for anyone who donated x amount to y charity (i dont remember the specifics). id been a fan of glip's for years at that point, and this was an opportunity to finally have something id wanted for a long time.

a portrait of my cat, who i got as a baby, who passed away after almost twenty-one years, from my favourite artist.

they truly did a wonderful job with it. it looked so much like him. i dont have a lot of photos of him, he lived in the pre-smartphone era, so this was a precious thing to me. i had it printed, i got a frame, i hung it on my wall. it meant everything to me.

after all of the stuff that happened to me and leaving flora, it became tainted. now instead of reminding me of something i loved dearly it reminded me of something that hurt me badly. i couldnt get rid of it though. i took it off the wall, out of the frame, and slotted it onto a shelf where i could still see it, if i wanted to. it felt really awful, but i knew i loved that cat more than i could ever fear glip, so maybe someday i could look at it again without being reminded of them. maybe someday that portrait could go back up on my wall as an expression of love for my first best friend.

then i was told about what they had supposedly done to Pearl. and when i tell you i fucking bluescreened when i heard that... it fucking shattered me. it was a cold knife in my heart. the dog stuff was horrid of course but, something about this just broke something in me.

i had to walk away from my phone. i had to go find one of my cats and just. i just sat on the floor and pet her as she lay on the futon and purred and trusted me utterly, like im sure Pearl did for you, glip. she knows i love her, that i provide for her, that i would never bring harm to her. i just sat with her and cried.

im crying now, writing this. my hands are shaking.

do you care, glip?

my husband came to check on me, i told him what i was told and he was disgusted, the correct response. he was angry. he was angry. and for the first time in years, i wasnt scared of glip anymore.

i was fucking pissed.

i wish i didnt have to explain why, because it should be damn fucking obvious, but let me lay it out: a person's pet is their ward. we have a duty and responsibility to do everything we can to give the best lives possible for the animals we bring into our lives. we are their source of food, shelter, healthcare, everything. we are their world. and they should be able to trust that we would never use them for something selfish, because here's the thing: they don't understand the world as we do. theyre animals, they simply cant. WE are the ones who know right from wrong and act for them accordingly. WE keep them fed. WE keep them safe. WE make that final decision that they cant make when their suffering is to much to bear anymore. they trust us to do the things for them they can never understand.

we dont use them for our own sexual gratification. we dont do this because they dont understand that theyre being used, they have no context for how they are being treated, they dont know it shouldnt be happening.

they are helpless.

they are voiceless.

they are the perfect victim.

like a baby who will never grow up and tell everyone the truth.

like a baby, glip. like a helpless, voiceless baby.

and dont you ever fucking try to play the "well she initiated it" card. animals initiate all kinds of shit they shouldnt, things that are dangerous, could hurt them, could make them sick. knowing better is OUR job.

also. uhm. hey. did you know that "well they started it" is a thing child predators have said, do say, will say, about their victims.

here's a 10yo who "came onto" her abuser

here's a dad who claimed his daughter was just "a sexual kid"

here's a daycare worker who said the 1yo he abused was "promiscuous"

and you, glip. using Pearl because she was just "showing you love". just because its a "nicer" reason doesnt make you any fucking different from these monsters in my eyes.

i could not look at that portrait anymore. how could i ever look at him, and not remember what you do to helpless creatures like him. how could i think about what you did and remember you telling me no, of course marl never touched the cats, when i asked you if you were concerned that he might have. seems my worry was misplaced.

i burned the portrait. i took a small cast iron pot into my yard, ripped it to shreds, and spent a two hundred count box of matches on it. one wasnt enough. ten wasnt enough. one hundred wasnt enough. i did not want this thing to exist anymore. i did not want him, my cat, my first best friend, that piece of my soul that left this earth with him, to ever be able to be associated with you. that fire is burning in me now.

i do not capitalize your name anymore explicitly because you are subhuman by my standards. i do not want you to find healing and get better. i want you to face the consequences for all the hurt youve cause. i want you deplatformed so you can finally stop putting so much agony into the world.

if you didnt do it, youll have to convince me. you know my discord.

if you did do it, admit it. tell everyone what you did. you owe it to people so they can decide whether they want to associate with you or not based on it. i think if someone asks you directly, you wont lie about it.

because you dont believe you did anything wrong, do you?

[lunarifie]

Hollow Fantasy AU part 3:

part 2 / part 4

Days pass as the group grows closer as friends. Eventually, Vanessa flies as Skeet speeds forward, both of them rejoining the group and exclaiming that there was a village not far off. Everyone cheers, picking up pace and reaching the village in no time. When they near the village Mira nudges Adam. “Do you think he’s going to be here?” Adam involuntarily perks up at that before immediately frowning and shaking his head, ignoring her. Vanessa raises an eyebrow at that and Skeet sighs. They enter the mundane village and rent a room in an inn. The sky darkens as they prepare for bed. Adam mentions that he’ll be staying up to look at the map and try to figure out where exactly they are after learning the name of the village. Mira scolds him while Skeet and Reeve object. Adam insists. That is until Reeve knocks him out with a sleeping spell, explaining to the others that it only works on people who are thoroughly exhausted. Everyone else continues to get ready for bed, Vanessa breaking the silence. “What were you talking about before? That someone might be here?” The group grows quiet, only for Mira to pipe up and talk about their old red-head friend who’d runaway under mysterious circumstances. She explains that they were all pretty close and shares stories of Kai from the few days he stayed with them, Reeve and Skeet interjecting with their own stories as well. Mira finishes by saying they all hope that they’ll find him on their journey. “If I’m being completely honest, deep down I think Adam might care about finding Kai more than the Ishibo. But he’d never admit that. He was always trained and told- as a guard! That he would find the ishibo, so he knows thats more important.” Vanessa agrees, stating it was best to focus on the goal at hand.

They wake up the next morning to loud scratchy exclamations outside the inn. They get up, preparing their stuff and walking outside. Once they leave the inn they’re met with a huge crowd surrounding what appears to be two monks standing on the townsquares wooden stage. They shout out to the crowd in their monk robes, waving a flier around, “come everyone come! And hear of the great warrior… AKUMA!!!” The monks roar the name, exclaiming that Akuma is the mightiest warrior in the land, with his glowing weapon that could poison thousands. Adam perks up at those words, straining his ears to listen. “We’re looking for your strongest fighters! Whoever can enter Akumas arena and beat the ghastly beast will be rewarded handsomely!” Adam straightens, maneuvering through the crowd until he was right beneath the monks. “Is the beast a dragon?” He asks. The Monks share a weird glance, “why yes, lucky guess!” Adams hopes skyrocket. “Is the reward the ishibo?” One of the monks look bewildered, “what? No. Its just money…” they answer. Adam frowns at that, face furrowing. “Adam what are you doing?!?!” Adams friends join him in the middle of the crowd, sharing looks of incredulity. “Id like to join the arena!” Adam proclaims. The crowd grows silent. “Excellent!” The monks cry, handing Adam a map, “this’ll direct you to the location! Good luck! You’ll need it!” The monks leave, the crowd dispersing, eyeing Adam while whispering to one another. Adam unfolds the map as his friends surround him to look over his shoulder. The map showcases that the arena wasn’t far from where they are, probably just a day or two, or a few hours on horseback if they’re able to afford a ride. Fortunately, a horse is not needed. The word of a new-maybe-champion spreads, a carriage soon presented to the group to escort them to the arena. Adam stops his friends, explaining to then that this was his prophecy, his legacy, and that they shouldn’t have to come. That they could stay safe inside the village. They all ignore him, and his meaningful speech, hopping into the carriage. Adam sighs in exasperation, climbing inside as well.

They travel through foresty terrain until they reach a clearing, bringing them to dry Akki Mountains. It was a medium sized town with rocky roads and red houses. The carriage bumped uncomfortable, clay monks of all sizes staring as they pass, some grin from the sidewalk, other laugh from their houses. It sends the group an uneasy chill down their spines. Finally they reach the center of the town. The friend group looks around, Skeet asking the carriage driver where the arena was. The driver points up and they all tilt their heads, finally spotting long chains holding a gigantic floating rock in the sky. The carriage driver dumps them out in a hurry, speeding off and out of the creepy town. The friend group glance around to see multiple clay monks staring at them and decide to begin their climb. Skeet and Vanessa take turns carrying people to the top. Once they reach the peak, they stand on smooth dirt flooring, staring ahead and spotting the fighting arena. The arena is humongous, stadium walls reaching the sky. The stadium is the first thing they notice, the second thing being a red tannish temple right in front of it. They walk towards it, a looming dark archway that leads inside the temple beckoning them. They all enter the temple, realizing it was in fact a monastery. They eye what they assume is Akuma, sitting upon a throne with monks by his side. “Which one of you volunteered to battle the beast?” He asks. Adam walks forward, apart from the group, “me.” Akuma grins, “very well then, I hope you’re ready, most people aren’t. Now, for the fact that you’ve gotten this far and havent let cowardice drive you away,—” “I have no interest in your reward.” Adam interrupts. The monks tilt their spears towards Adam, glaring. Akuma puts up a hand. “No reward?” He questions. “I didn’t say that,” Adam answers “I said I have no interest in your reward.” Akuma hums, “what do you have in mind?” Adam points to the staff in Akumas hand. “the ishibo.” The monks are on guard. Akuma blinks at him for a second before laughing. “I agree to your terms.” He swings the staff around in his hand, obviously disbelieving that Adam will even escape the battle alive. “You may enter the armory and pick a weapon,” a secret entryway from underneath Akumas throne opens. “From there you will enter the arena and make your way towards your death.” He gestured towards the rest of the group, “your companions will be escorted to the stadium,” he moved his hand to the entry way, “good luck.”

[one-abuse-survivor]

its my birthday today and theres so many emotions lol. my birthday has always been ruined by my family. either by my sister being jealous of my gifts and my parents giving her gifts and letting her choose the actitives for the day, my parents arguing non stop resulting in me being a messenger, or them making a big scene in a store because they dont want to buy me a cake or banners because i dont deserve it or im 'too old' for one/them. the last one hurts the most as when i was 16 i was so close to not even having a cake or a celebration at all because my parents were arguing, but i had to watch all my friends get big sweet 16 cakes and have parties and decorations and it made me feel like, what have i done wrong? it wasnt even a money thing either, like we could afford stuff, my dad just would not let my mum buy me stuff because id been naughty and didnt deserve a birthday. it makes it worse when tonight, im working a night shift and my coworkers and the person im helping's family are throwing me a pizza party and giving me a birthday card and it just makes me wanna cry so bad - in a good way! but its sad because how can people ive known for just over 6 months care so much as to do all of that, and my parents couldnt. im hoping i dont sound spoiled or ungrateful about my parents btw, im sorry if i do, i dont mean to be. it just feels so surreal that they even like me enough to do that?? im not even that good at my job yet so how do i even deserve a celebration at this point?? birthdays suck lol

Nonnie, let me start by saying you do not sound spoiled or ungrateful in the least. Everyone deserves to feel loved and appreciated, and birthdays are often an occasion when people show that sort of appreciation toward others. The fact that your parents ruined all your birthdays and told you you didn't deserve to have a birthday because you were "naughty" is really cruel, and it sends a message that you're not enough; that you're fundamentally bad, and there's nothing you can do to change that. It's cruel, it's emotionally neglectful, and it's abusive.

You deserved so much better than this. You deserved to feel loved, appreciated, and worthy of nice things. What your coworkers did for you on your birthday is what you've always deserved. The fact that your parents never allowed you to be celebrated is a reflection of who they are, not you. I hope that becomes easier to believe with time.

And I also hope you know it's okay to celebrate and appreciate yourself. It's not something you have to earn or be worthy of. It's something you can totally just do. On your birthday, or whenever you need it. You're allowed to have nice gestures toward yourself.

Hope some of this helps to read. Sending a big virtual hug ❤

[pbandjesse]

It is officially the second day of me being 32! And it was honestly a great day. I have had a really awesome birthday weekend. 

I slept okay last night. But I had very intense dreams. I was screaming and crying a lot. Over a losing my id and buying a giant Christmas themed bunny peep stuffed animal. At a target. Jess was there. It was a lot. 

But I woke up in a good mood even if I was tired. I would shake it off soon enough and had a really good day. 

When I got up I made the bed and went to get dressed. Said hi to Jess on the couch. And got ready. 

We chilled in the living room for a few minutes. I told her about my weird dream. And sat with her in the couch while she finished her coffee. And then we were off. 

I got to ride in her new car! It's very similar to mind inside but has all the extra fancy features and the sunroof and some other interesting things. Like blind spot detection. We were surprised to find that there was coffee all over her windshield and on the passenger side door. What I think happened was someone set their coffee on her roof for whatever reason and it fell over and spilled. Feel bad for whoever had their morning a little ruined. I helped Jess clean it off. And we headed to Hamden. 

We got a parking spot on a side street. It was the first time Jess has parallel parked in her new car so it was exciting when it went so well. 

We went to golden west for breakfast. And it was great. But slow. We beat the rush in but our poor waiter was a bit overwhelmed. Our food took a long time but it was good talking and people watching. And ease dropping on other conversations.  

Once our food came Jess's was missing the salsa from her tacos. But my questions were great. We would eventually get the salsa and our food was excellent. I have really loved all the food we have gotten this weekend. And I'm working really hard to not eat to the point of not feeling well.  I have been stopping at half way through. So I have a bunch of leftovers. Which is nice. 

Once we finished eating we went back to the car and drove to the art museum! I haven't been there for a long time. And it was nice! A little busier than we expected. But that was fine. We had 2 hours of parking paid for. And the musuem isn't huge. But we got to see a lot. 

The best parts were at the end. I love love loved the John Waters collection they had on display. They had Mike Kelly pieces and Cy Twombly and weird stuff and it was great. I had a blast looking at stuff I haven't seen before and that was just really nice. 

We stopped at the gift shop. And talked a lot about the work we are blown away by and stuff that falls flat for us. I have missed art museums. 

We weren't done yet! Next we drove to amazing glaze to do pottery. We went to the Starbucks in the same parking lot first. And then to the painting studio. It was the busiest I have ever ever seen it. We were lucky to get the last table. It would get more busy and crowded and it was crazy. We were there for more then two hours. Tables would change around us multiple times by people much faster then us. 

But we were intense. It took a while for Jess to pick what she was going to decorate. I chose a tea cup and saucer almost right away.  And soons he would pick the stemless wine glass. Which I have done before I really enjoy using. 

Jess decided to do all pink and red. She drew out flowers and pears. And even used a paperclip to scrap stuff away to make very fine lines. I hope that works because I want to try that next time. 

I played with a lot of color mixing and layering. I have no idea how mine are going to come out but I had a really good time making it. 

I started with the plate. I wanted it to be a little meadow. And under it is dirt. I even added a skeleton, bones, and worms. Then for the cup I made a little blue kitty creature. I used three tones of blue that I'm hoping will have a watercolor effect. And on the inside I made his guts and ribcage. I thought I was being so cleaver. I love how it looks. 

I would chat with people at the tables around us. A woman made a fuss about how cool mine was and I was just like. Ahhh. Thank you! I'm an art teacher. And we chatted about how I love painting pottery because it's the only art no one asks me to sell. It's just for me. I have my blankets and stuff for the same reason now but still this is important for me. 

We were there until s little before 4. And I was really really happy with how our pieces came out. I can't wait to see them fired. They said they will be done on Thursday! 

We got home right before James did. And we all chilled for a while. James made me a birthday cake. Me and Jess booked our campsite for Easter weekend. We are going to stay in Susquehanna state park. I hope it's great. It looked beautiful. 

And we just chilled and watched tiktoks for a long time. 

Around 530 James offered to go pick up food. Me and Jess ordered poke bowls (we have had to much cheese and bread this weekend). James would go to R house to get those and would get paid Thai for themself. It would take a while for that to be ready but me and Jess weren't starving. We had both shd leftovers when we first got home. 

But it was really nice to have dinner when James did get back. I got pineapple and seaweed salad and tofu and other stuff,  it was all really good. And excellent choice. And I still have leftovers! 

After we are we all moved to Jamess room to watch two more episodes of the last of us. I was caught up on my knitting so I only had one row to do. So I worked on unraveling my yarn to rewind righter. So hopefully it won't get so tangled anymore. In the two hours we watched the show (which was fabulous) I finished two while balls of yarn. Excellent. 

I had a great time watching with Jess and James. And there is one moe episode and then another new one tomorrow night. Maybe me and James will just watch together. We will see. 

And now we are all getting ready to go to bed. James helped me with the last bit of yarn but then I just ripped it and tied it and James was devastated and the Jess was laughing at me and it was all very silly. 

I got a little shower. And now I am cozy. And I am ready to sleep. 

Tomorrow Jess will go home. She has a baby shower to go to so she'll leave after breakfast. I am so grateful to have her as a friend. 

I hope you all feel happy tonight. Be safe. Take care. Good night! 

[theloveinc]

this is v v random and you dont have to answer if you dont want to bc it IS personal, but i wanted to ask abt ur experience on wellbutrin? in terms of like, getting energy or feeling tired, sleepy? im worried about it making me sleepy/tired/brain fog (im 26 n BUSY as heck) again, dont have to answer at all, just asking bc i know youre quite open n honest on stuff so i thought id give it a shot and ask about your experience n like. ur pros & cons if thats okay. anyways thank u lub u legend bye <3

🥺Legend, of course u can ask!! I'm probably not the best choice, given I've only been on it since early June (and some people, much longer)... but honestly, in terms of brain fog and sleep... I have had almost literally NO issues and am all positive reviews here (...kinda).

One of the reasons I was prescribed it actually was for excessive sleepiness and brain fog (I get horrible, horrible brain fog normally and I have for years.)... and even though the results have been somewhat inconsistent since I've switched dosages like three times (and was off for a bit), literally it's helped SOOOOO much.

Obviously, people's reactions are going to be different, a moot (who I can tag but don't want to like... expose)(edit: @ace-of-books in the replies of this post!!!) on here told me Wellbutrin actually keeps her awake to the point where she needs mild sedatives to sleep... but I've honestly found I have no trouble actually going to sleep once I actually decide to (I like to use my phone in bed so I partially blame some sleep issues on that, but... you know) and waking up has gotten way, WAY easier.

(Also, with my new dosage, I take it twice a day and it's the NON-time release pills, and I've noticed that actually I haven't been as tired getting into bed usually... but someone told me this would go away once I fully adjusted AND I didn't have that problem on the time released capsules I took initially. Also it could just be that I've been taking a lot of naps at 8pm LMAOOO AND it doesn't actually bother me since the brain fog has been very reduced! *skips and jumps and claps feet together like a little leprechaun*🤩🤩🤩)

So yeah. More issues with... not being able to sleep than with being sleepy in the daytime. Thought when I was taking my more concentrated dose, if I had caffeine with it, things would get a little WoOoOooooOOOOooo funny🤡!!! at first.

As for cons... it's so funny because when I switched dosages the first time, I was like "omg these pills suck they stopped working after like, a month..." THAT WAS NOT TRUE LMAOOO. I HAD JUST GOTTEN USED TO THEM, and when I moved on to a higher dosage (150mg once a day to 150 TWICE a day🥶😨😱), I literally went insane (crying over mild inconveniences IN PUBLIC. I could think too hard and I would cry. Keep me awake over anxiety literally non-stop type insane).

And then, when I subsequently stopped taking them and it faded(?) from my system, it became very clear I actually was... worse off without them and I was extremely happy to go back on

I could always get used to it again, but right now I feel GREAT and literally kind of spring out of bed when I need to be up. No more lazing about waiting for my mind to work, it just does for the most part.

(Though I do get tired in the day because my schedule is awful, and also still crave sleeping a lot when I am in bed, it's just when I do wake + get up the adjustment period from sleepy time to being awake is almost... instant. So that, I would say, is fantastic).

ANYWHOOOO, this is kind of a long-winded answer that I answered sort of... backwards (talking about lack of sleep vs. excessive sleep), but... my experience has been so positive, even despite the dosage changes and the fact that it obviously hasn't cured my depression entirely. I just haven't had any issues with it making me tired at all, and it's FIXED my brainfog, which I guess is the answer to your question!

BUT, and I'm just gonna say this for legal reasons cuz I'm sure you already know, talk to your doctor/a medical professional first before making any decisions! Don't base taking it entirely off of ME because I also know people who experienced nothing positive on Wellbutrin at all. Not me, tho. But that can be common.

Thanks for reading this all (and being sooo sweet I lub you too + am kissing you), if you did! And no worries if you didn't, but good luck with whatever ends up happening!💕💕💕