#and i understand the urge but everyone already wants something from me that i cannot give to them and it exhausts me

[readymades2002]

teenage coworker made a limpwristed hand gesture at me and asked if i was “fruity” and this is the third lgbt person i’ve worked in proximity with who has done something along this line and i don’t care for it at all

[pupmkincake2000]

Characters study?

Since I play as Gale, I wanted to look at relationships from his side and from my own, since I think that Gale and I have very similar beliefs regarding relationships.

Don't get me wrong, I love Halsin,

he's an incredibly kind and caring teddy bear, but being in a relationship with him is not for everyone. And there are moments in the conversation with him that were very unpleasant for me. But I’m glad that he warned me in advance how he perceives a relationship with someone.

Yes, there are many people who are into polyamorous relationships, but I don’t think Gale is one of them, despite the opportunity to sleep with Halsin even when playing as Gale (I think that in this case some lines should not be available at all as it was with the Dark Urge, when you cannot resist your nature, even when playing a good character).

Now I will explain why.

Halsin honestly admits that monogamy is not for him. He considers us someone special, in fact, declares his love, but immediately says that we are not that special at all and he, even having entered into a relationship with us, will still be free to sleep with other people.

His words are not a lie, but they seem to contradict each other.

That is... there are more people who want to be something special, who want exclusivity from those they are dating than those who would prefer polyamory, I believe. In the case of Halsin, you will simply be just one of his huge number of lovers, and, perhaps, in another couple of decades, he will say those words about love and specialness to someone else, as he spoke to us. It's not mine cup of tea, to be honest. I am a selfish person, and I would like to be special for someone I love. And I really didn’t like that Halsin, without even knowing whether such a relationship suits me, says he hopes to sleep with the person I am dating too. This remark made me understand that although Halsin is still my type of men in appearance and character, he absolutely does not fit into my understanding of relationships, love and specialness. Let me remind you, I play Gale's origin and I am sure that Gale would also refuse and be disappointed.

Just like Astarion. And I will now explain why.

Literally Gale's entire problem and trauma is based on the fact that he wants to be loved,

he wants to be cared for, seen, considered special (which in the case of Halsin will be impossible), he wants to be visible and significant. I know that playing his origin you are still able to choose any lines but... if you play Tav and romance him, Gale does not agree to share his love with someone else and does not agree to be shared too. I believe that Gail is monogamous, and not just monogamous, but he won't allow the thought that his loved one could be with someone else or that he himself could be with someone else while already being in a relationship. Such people rarely fall in love, they are like the wolves Halsin spoke about, who choose a lover for the rest of their lives. And no, I don’t think Mystra was such a lover. I'm sure Gale wants in a relationship not so much exclusivity, but to have something of his own. Something that no one can take away from him. Someone only his.

The same story with Astarion.

He hasn’t had anything of his own for 200 years, and despite his mannerisms and flirting with everyone, he also wants to have something of his own, something that no one will take away from him, and something that will belong to him and to no one else. He is also desperately looking for someone who will be his. Only his. Yes, he agrees to a threesome, he agrees to share his lover with Halsin, but he clearly does not want this and agrees only because he is afraid of losing his love. He refuses to have sex with the drow twins, and if you agree, he will most likely end the romance with you. He is very afraid of not satisfying his lover; he wants to be desired and loved. He and Gale are very much alike when it comes to the relationship, although their reactions are different. Both want exclusivity. One speaks about it directly, the second one shouts about it with his behavior and body language.

I think that's why I love the ship so much.

They both want the same thing, they just express their desires differently.

[iamthat-iam]

Giant Q&A for questions I get the most ✨

Q: how do I stop identifying with ego when they've got tasks to do throughout the day?

I am: There is no ego and no one to disidentify from. Just watch and observe, allow this seeming character to do whatever it needs without thinking it's you.

Q: It's hard to just watch and observe thoughts without identifying, is there anything else I can do?

I am: You have a few options-

When you catch yourself reacting and identifying, just say "not me, nothing to do with me" and move on.

Do nothing and let them be.

Self Inquiry- this means to question the validity of these thoughts. "Who is this happening to right now?" "If this body wasn't here, what would be left of me?" "To whom do these thoughts come?" "Who am I?" "Where did I come from?" "What makes the physical more real than imagination, and what makes them separate?"

You're not supposed to answer these questions! The goal of Self inquiry is to point the ever-stretching silence that is you.

Meditation- Bry meditated heavily at the beginning of her journey, highly recommended if you have a super active mind, helpful for 'resting' in the silence and just being.

Q: I'm confused on what watching/observing your thoughts means

I am: Just watch thoughts pass without judging or interacting with them

Q: I'm doing all of this but I still feel very attached to circumstances, I'm frustrated.

I am: Are you doing it to make something happen? If so you are probably trying too hard. Understand that there's nothing to detach from. Circumstances are meaningless and they are happening to no one. Be gentle and patient with yourself.

Q: So what do I do then?

I am: Accept the fact that everything is perfect now and that you are already free.

Q: How do I know if I'm identifying with the non-existent Character?

I am: Claiming that you don't have something/ are lacking something. Claiming the character's experiences/circumstances are yours.

Examples: I want my desired appearance but I don't see it. I imagined something but it's not here and I don't see it. My head hurts. I'm working at a job I hate.

Q: So I understand all of this intellectually but I still get the urge to do something or learn more, is this from thinking I am a person who needs to 'manifest' or 'change' something?

I am: Yes.

Q: How do I stop trying to make something happen?

I am: Ask yourself "who's the one trying to make something happen?" "Who's the one that feels something needs to be changed?"

Q: I can't understand this, not even intellectually...

I am: There's nothing to understand, just know yourself to be what you really are, know that everything is perfect now and that you're already free.

Q: If I want to change a situation what do I do? (This applies for everyone dealing with a stressful situation!)

I am: You stop identifying as the one dealing with the situation, and know that everything is as you want it to be. Take your attention completely off the problem.

Q: This character is screaming, crying and throwing up, and I feel like it's hindering my ND progress, what do I do?

I am: Leave it alone, these are just thoughts. There's no one here having a breakdown.

You are Self now and have always been. There's no ND progress, you are already at the finish line.

Q: What if something bad happens?

I am: Nothing is really happening, you are dreaming. Whatever "bad" thing that is seemingly happening has nothing to do with you. You are not a victim to any circumstances because they are not real.

Q: I don't understand how there's no difference between 3D/4D?

I am: You are reality itself. Awareness is the only reality, as contrary to what most people believe - their "physical" being real. Anything you can percieve cannot be real because it's not you. The 5 senses work exactly the same in dreams, the waking state, and in daydreams/visualizations. You take the "physical" to be more real because it's a habit you formed.

There's no objective physical reality, or "real world."

Q- That means nothing is real?

I am: When you become aware of something it appears to exist and when you take your awareness off of it, it ceases to exist.

However, nothing can ever be real, because their existence depends entirely on You, Self, the only thing that is real

Q: what about time? I don't understand how the past isn't real when you have photo proof of things happening in past

I am: the past and future only exist in thoughts. Thoughts are not real, they come up in awareness and then they go. It's your identification with "your" past and memory that keeps the dream going. Only thoughts give you the illusion that pictures were taken some time in the past. You are really just looking at pictures from now, giving yourself the illusion that it was taken "some time before." The future are hypothetical thoughts on what could happen, but the only thing that truly exists is the present moment. Awareness is present now. If you want to use a manifestation example, the reason why you are able to "change the past" or "revise" it is because it never really was to begin with. You becoming conscious of a different outcome NOW is what "changes the events that happened before."

Analogy: An animation flip book where a scene is drawn in progression on each page to give the illusion that something is moving when you flip the pages

Q: I find myself detached and sometimes floaty throughout the day, I don't find myself as involved with daily activities as I was before, is this normal?

I am: don't worry too much about body sensations as they are also part of the illusion. It is normal to feel some form of "detachment"

Q: what's the point of realizing Self if you're not trying to get anything? I thought we were limitless and can do whatever we want?

I am: Realizing Self is realizing you are not separate from anything and therefore cannot lack. You can't get something you already have. You can't get what you already are. If you're doing this to change something in "3D" you are missing the point of Non Dualism. You are free to experience whatever you want as an omnipotent being, but the philosophy itself is pointing you back to your true nature! Its about knowing you are ONE WITH EVERYTHING AND NOT SEPARATE. There's no one imagining or daydreaming, no materializion into a physical world because there is none, only awareness of experience. " " is always experiencing " "

For example: a world where hatred exists and a world that is completely peaceful are both equally illusory, one is not more real than the other. If you are "daydreaming" about world peace, you are actually experiencing world peace.

Q: What happens when we die?

I am: Death of the body is an illusion. Death is just another concept created along with all other concepts of the world and it doesn't exist if you take your awareness off it. so if you like this persona so much that you want to give yourself the illusion of them "living forever" then go for it! That's what I'm doing, keeping this body young!

Q: Non Dualism and Law of Assumption sound like the same thing but in different fonts.

I am: The main differences are- LOA teaches you that you are God, but also still a person seperate from the whole. There is an "inner man" who lives in imagination (4D) and "outer man" in the 3D. You are a person fulfilling yourself in imagination, waiting for something to materialize in the physical.

In ND, there's no 3D/4D, no imagination vs physical. No waiting for materialization because all experiences are the same.

Q: Can I use ND and LOA in conjunction?

I am: ND and LOA are 2 completely different concepts. I don't recommend mixing them together.

Q: I need help transitioning from LOA to ND

I am: You have to understand that there's nothing to get. You must drop your habit of thinking you are this person you were "born" as, this person that has desires and that is lacking something. Drop the idea that you have to work or take action to get anything. Everything is automatically yours.

Yes you are God but God is not the body-mind. You are everything, take this statement literally. You are the seeming person you are currently observing, their parents, friends, celebrities, cars, trees, the ocean, animals, everything. You can't lack anything so to use ND to 'manifest' is backwards.

Self is perfect. There's no fixing your self concept, there's no getting rid of limiting beliefs because they are just baseless thoughts.

Go within and see that all of this is true. Everything, once broken down and devoid of labels, is nothingness, or " ". This is why everything is you.

Q: I'm scared of materializing something out of fear of something going wrong

I am: You forget that you control literally everything and that nothing can happen against your will. Your creations can't act on their own without your consent. All thoughts are meaningless.

Q: so I have desires, can they be fulfilled in Non Dualism?

I am: Self is all, Self is everything. Everything you think you lack, Self already is. You identify with Self and there is no more desire. You are fulfilled, whole and complete in every way possible.

Example: Miranda wishes to be a famous singer. Self is everything, so Self is already that. There's nothing to do, no techniques to do.

Q: I am going through traumatic/stressful situation and I need it gone immediately! (This applies to ALL situations! No situation is a special case!)

I am: This applies to anything, take your attention off the problem and it always goes away. Problems can only exist if you are focused on them.

Q: Other people in my life aren't real? It's just me?

I am: The person you think you are along with the "people in your life" aren't real they are merely forms of Self, or " ". Self is reality and the only thing that truly exists.

Q: The idea that I'm all alone stresses me out.

I am: You are not alone in the sense that you think. You created all these forms and worlds because you wanted to experience yourself in many different ways. All forms are one and united which makes the experience so beautiful. The creation of everything was done out of love.

Q: what about shifting, how does that relate to Non Dualism?

I am: Self is immovable. Since Self is everywhere and everything, you cannot move/shift from place to place, you are only switching what you are aware of in that moment.

Q: How does everything fall into place when you realize Self?

I am: Constantly thinking about problems= Problems exists

Not thinking about problems= problems don't exist

Q: Everything is possible? I created everything so it's possible to change things that were previously in place, for example the laws of physics?

I am: There was never such a thing such as "law of physics". There are no laws. This is why everything is possible, because everything IS.

Q: Do I need to accept what teachers/gurus say as true?

I am: They are meant to guide you in the right direction but you have to investigate see the truth for yourself. (Spoiler alert: the only real truth is that you are " ", the limitless, ever-stretching silence.

Q: If there's no one but me, who are you?

I am: A figment of your imagination.

[pendarling]

A Proposal

Female Hero, Male Villain

Villain hesitated, his fist just inches away from hitting them. Hero saw a flicker of something unfamiliar, but her foot had already kicked the enemy back.

She quickly stood back up on her feet, her breath coming out in short gasps as she gripped her hands tightly into a ball. He stumbled and crashed into a collection of debris before getting back up.

Something had changed.

She knew he had changed. The way Villain's eyes glared at her came with a ferocity that further deepened their connection. It was an intense gaze, but Hero knew it was also harmless.

Villain smiled coyly, "You're getting confident." He dusted himself off.

"And you're getting distracted."

His jaw clenched, "Just a series of lucky hits."

"Luck shouldn't be this often as of late. What's gotten into you?" She squinted at him, her feet steady under her weight.

He clicked his tongue, hands behind his back as Villain walked slowly up to the ledge of the roof. "I figured perhaps there is something more beneficial here in our interactions, Hero."

She lowered her hands, yet her suspicions did not die down. "What do you mean?"

"I figured it would be wrong to have you eliminated so soon." He turned around, "There is a potential for you that I can help you achieve."

Oh, she was starting to understand now. His respect for her abilities must've made Villain take an allegiance with her. Hero sighed and shook her head, "Just because I am fond of our rivalry doesn't mean I am interested in joining you."

"Well," Villain played with the collar of their suit, "I was referring to an alliance between us only."

She couldn't lie, Hero was flattered that Villain acknowledged her strength. However, the circumstances they were in weren't easy. "I cannot do that, sorry."

"Why not?"

"I have commitments toward my friends, my fans, everyone who believes in me."

"And I believe you are more than ready to go beyond this journey you've taken."

"What about you?" She urged him to answer. Whatever idea he had in mind was interesting to her.

"My proposal to you…" he paused, words hanging in the air. "Doesn't include any of this." Villain waves his hand in the air.

She tilted her head with confusion, "This?"

"This whole business, and association with certain ideologies." He stepped forward, "I have only one goal, my dear. I intend for our agreement to be long and withstand a lifetime." He pointed at her, "you," then at himself, "and I can create something greater than what this is."

"How?" Hero whispered, still lost within his words. The gears in her head were working as fast as they could, but she wasn't entirely sure what he was implying.

"You have something invaluable to me." He stared into her. She held it as his eyes lowered below her chest and to her stomach. Hero's face turned red at the prospect of his idea.

"You mean— a child?" She wrapped her arms around herself, "you want a child from me?"

He tilted his chin down, satisfied with her response. "I'm more than willing to help you become—"

"Is that why you avoid hitting me there?" She asked. It made sense now; he hadn't intended to hurt her if she were to become the future mother of his child.

An image of a family appeared in her head. It wasn't making her ill; the colours were warm and bright.

Villain's hand laid on her shoulder, "Don't be afraid. You're a hero, remember? There is nothing you fear," his hand rubbed her back slowly, and strangely, it was comforting enough for Hero to gather her breath again. Yet, she was so nervous, had he always had this in mind or was it only recent?

She was so shocked that if her head kept spinning, she might topple over. Villain's arm came around her waist as she crashed into him.

"Take your time." He lifted her chin, "I don't mind your rejection, but I do hope you consider this offer."

"A marriage..." She mumbled between her lips, "W-what… what will I gain in return?"

His face lowered, lips closer to hers than expected. "You'll get a fine and loving young man as your husband."

It wasn't as if she didn't find him attractive enough. He did fit her standards, and he did meet her requirements; she just didn't expect this to happen to her suddenly.

"I guess you're handsome enough." She twirled with her hair.

"Perfect, your hips will serve their purpose well." He hummed momentarily and looked out into the distance, "We will leave this place behind and find a nice place to settle to put this nonsensical waste of our lives behind us."

She could imagine it: a nice home somewhere out in the country or hidden in an apartment in a different city.

~~~

MASTERLIST

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[sneakyboymerlin]

I have said it before, but Kilgharrah has a parallel-opposite arc to Morgana. His character is redeemed in the same streak of episodes where Morgana goes from an ally to a major villain. While Kilgharrah was often self-serving and manipulative in the first 2 seasons, this changes by the end of season 2 because Merlin chooses to show him mercy after incapacitating him. It’s the first real kindness that Kilgharrah has experienced in well over 20 years. Whereas, when Merlin shows Morgana mercy by making the deal with Morgause to save her after she’s been incapacitated, Morgana returns more vengeful than ever. Back to Kilgharrah, though…

Not only does he indebt himself to Merlin, he comes to see Merlin in an entirely new way. Before, when he would call Merlin kin, it was in the most literal sense—both are creatures of magic, cut from the same cloth, and should be allies. But now, they’ve formed a bond from that kinship (and in a literal soul connection sense, too, no less). Kilgharrah’s plea strikes Merlin with so much force because they’re both now the last of their kind, and Merlin cannot help but consider and understand what Kilgharrah has been through, despite the destruction he’s caused, because it’s happened to Merlin, too. When they see each other next, this is what they have to say:

Merlin: I didn't think you'd answer my call.

Kilgharrah: Merlin, I could not resist a dragonlord, even if I wanted to.

Merlin: I’m grateful, thank you.

Let’s focus on that: “…even if I wanted to.” Kilgharrah did not want to resist Merlin’s call for help because he’s come to care about Merlin in his own way. This development is easily traced back to Merlin’s show of mercy. It cannot be stressed enough: this was the first kindness Kilgharrah had been shown in over 20 years, after rotting away in a dungeon when he was betrayed in every way possible, suffering from the grief of his entire species going extinct on Uther’s orders. And with this one show of mercy, Merlin changed the heart of a creature that everyone had already dismissed as a monster (the same way Merlin sees himself), one who sought his revenge by razing an entire city to the ground. From the start, Merlin treats him as a person: “Why are you doing this? You’re killing innocent people!” No one who saw him as a mere beast acting on its true nature would ask a moral quandary of him. And in the end, this path leads to Kilgharrah being spared, and Camelot repeatedly being saved as a result.

Kilgharrah’s sincerity in his care for Merlin is consistent in later seasons, and is seen in more than just his rescues. In 4x02, he plainly urges Merlin not to sacrifice himself, despite the fact that Arthur’s life (and thus, Kilgharrah’s ultimate freedom) hangs in the balance.

Merlin: Arthur intends to sacrifice himself to heal the Veil. It is my destiny to protect him; you taught me that.

Kilgharrah: Merlin, you must not do this.

He shortly follows this with something we’ve known since Merlin mended the rift between them in 2x13:

Kilgharrah: From the moment I met you, I saw something that was invisible. Now, it is there for all to see […] It will be an empty world without you, young warlock.

Having failed to convince Merlin to let someone else be the sacrifice, Kilgharrah commends him. Not only that, Kilgharrah mourns him.

This is all to say that Kilgharrah’s actions in seasons 1 & 2 should not be the sole focal point for our judgment of him, when he undergoes such an extreme change of character. Furthermore, there is no reason to believe that Kilgharrah’s faith in the prophecies is anything but genuine. Alongside his newfound care for Merlin, his ultimate goal is his own freedom, and he believes that Arthur is the key to that.

Kilgharrah: We need Arthur to live […] Your destiny is to protect the young Pendragon until he claims his crown, and when he does, magic can be returned to the realm. Only then will I be free.

This logic is in line with what occurred in 5x13. Kilgharrah wouldn’t have said or done any of what he does in 1x13 if he did not believe that Arthur’s ascension to king would lead to his own freedom (even if it didn’t take immediate effect). Arthur’s place on the throne made room for an end to the wars, namely the one on magic. Kilgharrah did not make these prophecies up, nor is he the only one to believe in them. Alator and Finna possessed knowledge of the same prophecies, and both believed in Emrys’ vision/mission.

Kilgharrah had great knowledge himself, and tried to share that with Merlin to pave the best path, but he was not all-knowing, and he tells Merlin as much himself. Kilgharrah is merely a messenger, believer, and interpreter. So, he still believes the prophecy has come to pass, even if Arthur did end up dying anyways. The five kingdoms could now be united and magic restored to the land once the war was ended upon Morgana’s death. The prophecy was fulfilled within Arthur’s lifetime, despite the success of Arthur’s Bane. It did not go as Merlin expected, nor how Kilgharrah expected, but it still… went. This is what he means when he says, “No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny.”

The idea that Kilgharrah simply played Merlin, when he was depending on Arthur as much as any creature of magic, and when he genuinely cared for Merlin as kin, is bad faith conjecture. How they got to the end point still mattered to him (i.e. Merlin must protect Arthur so that he has a chance to fulfill the prophecy), because that potential only existed through Arthur, and they all continued to suffer until that time came. Regardless of the age at which Arthur died, though, he was destined to fulfill these prophecies and return at Albion’s time of need. This, Kilgharrah knew. So is it any wonder that he maintained faith in it even after Arthur died? Especially after Arthur died, proving the prophecies true once again?

Kilgharrah: Merlin. There is nothing you can do.

Merlin: I've failed?

Kilgharrah: No, young warlock, for all that you have dreamt of building, has come to pass.

Merlin: I can't lose him! He's my friend!

Kilgharrah: Though no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny, some lives have been foretold. Merlin... Arthur is not just a King— he is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.

No, Kilgharrah did not predict the exact ending, but he did his best to help Merlin bring about the best possible outcome, and he said what he could to comfort Merlin when he was grieving Arthur. Kilgharrah was genuine, and his motives were in alignment with Merlin’s by the start of season 3.

[dira333]

Date Nights with Midoriya Izuku

From my Date Night Series

1.

Izuku draws two hero cards and lays them out in front of him.

You read the names aloud, familiar enough with their faces to recognise them even upside down.

“Shouto and Kamui Woods. Uh, that’s an interesting setup. Draw the situation card now.” 

You’re already bouncing in your seat as he draws a yellow card and lifts it up to read from it.

“Your heroes are called to a flash flood. Rescue is top priority but they cannot eliminate the threat of a villain causing the flood. How do you proceed?”

He’s not yet finished reading when he's already starting to mumble, all the ideas in his head tumbling out of his mouth at a speed almost incomprehensible for others to understand.

“One minute is up.” You turn the tiny hourglass with a satisfied grin. “Your answer, please.”

“Okay, so…” He takes a deep breath and grins back. “Kamui Woods will primarily engage in rescue. Shouto can freeze the water which would take it away from the possible villain and make the rescue easier but…”, he emphasizes the last word before continuing, “He has to make sure not to freeze any civilians which would be hard but doable. Considering that Shouto has icepowers the villain would be quickly apprehended. Do I get a point?”

You highfive him. “Yes, you get a point! Now, first impression of the game so far? Do you think we need to change something before it goes into production?”

“No, I love it. But…” He hesitates for a moment before you nod, urging him to continue. “Not everyone is as knowledgeable about these heroes as we are, if you would add a point system to the cards or something like strengths and weaknesses it could also be played by children.”

“I was thinking about that.” You start chewing on your pen, eyes focused on your notepad, not realizing that Izuku's eyes are now glued to your lips. “But I did not want to add too much information, you know, it’s a card game, not something that could potentially help villains.”

“What about if you add villains too?”

“Oh, they’re in the extension pack.” You join into his laugh. “But seriously, what do you think about this design then…” 

He leans forward as you sketch, his hair brushing against your temples. 

You’re always productive but never as much as when Izuku is around. 

If only you could see him like this every day.

-

2.

“What do you wanna play tonight?” You ask, glass of wine in one hand, the other tugging out games from your cupboard, revealing even more games behind them.

This week's date night is at your place, and Izuku’s dutifully doing the dishes after you’ve cooked, even though he barely fits into your tiny kitchen.

“How about your game?” He asks, turning to look at you and narrowly avoids hitting his head. “We haven’t played that in ages.”

“You sure? I always win that game.”

His laugh wafts through the air like the smell of wine and the chocolates he brought back from the agency.

“I do have some motivation to win today.”

“You do?” You ask, teasing audible in your voice. “I thought you always have the motivation to win.”

You walk back towards him - which doesn’t take long in your tiny apartment, but at least you don’t have to share it with a roommate like he does - and swing yourself onto the kitchen counter, legs dangling next to his hip. 

He leans in for a kiss right away, not caring about the suds dripping from his hand as his hands find your hips.

“If I win,” he tells you as he smiles, “You’re going to move in with me.”

“And if I win?” You ask back, swallowing down your heart before it beats out of your chest at his words.

He smiles, already teary eyed himself.

“Then I’m gonna move in with you.”

“Oh, so it’s on then.” You giggle into his lips as he kisses you again. 

“Living with Kacchan as a roommate or you hitting your head every morning?”

“You’re gonna give it your all?” He asks but there’s a teasing lilt to it that tells you that he has something entirely else in mind. And you’re not going to find out what it is just yet.

“Plus Ultra.”

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[captainjunglegym]

WIP WEDNESDAY - 13/03/2024

Tagged by jon @bigassbowlingballhead love u pal <3

I am on somewhat of a short writing sabbatical I tell myself. I've posted nearly 75,000 words in six weeks which is a lot for me. So I'm taking this week to relax from my WIPs before starting to post scheduled oneshots and start a new chaptered fic.

That being said i wrote a 1500 word fic this morning which you can just have here lmao.

Summary:

Exes Alex and Henry meet at the funeral of Henry's twin George who was killed suddenly aged only thirty-five. They haven't seen each other in four years.

The wind is bitter as it blows down from the top of the hill. It’s March, so it’s that time of year where the sun isn’t quite ready to negate the feel of the chill early in the morning and late into the evening. It’s already eleven am and the sun does feel warm when the wind dies down. A few moments reprieve where Henry doesn’t have to pull his coat tighter around his body or wish that he’d worn something that was more wind proof.

They don’t really make raincoats that are funeral approved, however.

Still, he pulls his thin black pea coat so it doubles over him. It’s too big. It’s not his. It was too big for George too, but his brother loved to wear oversized things. Said it made him feel small and holdable.

The thought crushes Henry. What he’d give to hold George now.

Everyone else has already gone. His mother didn’t even show. Her grief is exponential, increasing and deepening at such a fast rate now that she cannot be touched. Losing her husband young destroyed her, but burying one of her children eviscerated her. Not even the scars of her former self remain anymore.

And Henry understands. More so maybe this time than when his father died. He loved his father so much, but George was his twin, the other half of his soul. Maybe this is what his mother felt. Maybe this is what it feels like to break apart. Except she isn’t haunted by her husband by every reflective surface, by every future birthday. By every photograph of his childhood, every fucking Instagram post. By every friend they had because they didn’t even have separate friendship groups. Everything they had they had together and now Henry inherits it all.

It's too much.

(continues under cut, tags following)

It’s times like these that Henry curses being raised as an atheist. He wishes he could believe that something came after this, that he and George will meet again, but he can’t. People tell him that George is in a better place. A dark part of him agrees that six feet under some fucking dirt is probably better than living in a two bed on Peckham Highstreet. It’s a lot cheaper.

Henry gets the sudden urge to jump into the grave. It’s open, waiting for someone to come and cover George and seal him down there forever. Henry could just jump in with him.

“I didn’t think anyone would still be here.” A voice says from behind Henry, startling him.

He turns to see a beautiful man wrapped up in a warm black coat and scarf. It’s Alex, because of course it is. Who else would be so late to a funeral they miss the entire service. Who else would spring up out of the ground at Henry’s moment of despair like some kind of macabre dandelion.

“Right on time, I see.” Henry tries to snark, but his voice comes out small and fragile.

“My flight was delayed.”

Henry hums. “Nice to know George wasn’t worth flying out a day in advance.”

“Don’t.” Alex says, firmly but not aggressively as he moves to stand next to Henry. “Don’t do that, H.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t act like I didn’t care about him too.”

Henry feels crazed, like he wants to scream and tear off his clothes and jump into the lake and inhale the water.

He lets out a forced laugh instead. “Oh right! Of course. My apologies. Of course my ex-boyfriend who I haven’t seen in four years also cares about my fucking dead twin brother, so much so that he shows up uninvited at his funeral an hour too late. I’m sorry for being so insensitive.”

“H-”

“-No!” Henry shouts. It’s so out of character that it snaps Alex’s mouth shut. He lowers his voice. “No. I don’t know why you’re even here.”

Alex looks down at his shoes. “Would you believe me if I told you Philip invited me?”

Henry scoffs. “Pull another one.”

“It’s true,” Alex says gently. “He called me…after… He called me when, uhm-”

“-When George was stabbed to death in a pub in broad daylight?”

Alex lets that sit for a moment. “Uhm. Yes. He called me again to invite me.” He takes a deep breath and when he speaks again his voice cracks, “we were together for ten years, Henry. I loved George like he was my own family. We were a family.”

And they were. Alex had met Henry at university, and they fell in love almost immediately. Alex had transferred to London and George was assigned to be his ‘buddy’ and he’d always taken credit for introducing Alex to Henry. Always said that he’d have to mention that in his speech at their wedding.

The air leaves Henry’s body, but he doesn’t breathe out. It just evaporates in his lungs. He and Alex never got married. George never got to give his speech. And now George will never be able to give a speech at his wedding. Never be his best man.

But he has to give it to Alex. George was his friend and he know that they’d sort of kept in touch over the years, in an Instagram comment every couple of months. He never begrudged George of that. Their breakup was hard, and Henry got everything. Got their friends, their flat, the whole fucking country. Alex had gone back to Texas and not looked back. George was collateral in their breakup too and Henry knows that losing Alex was tough on him as well.

“H?” Alex is hesitant, but he gently takes Henry’s hand in his.

“I don’t know how to do this.” Henry says suddenly. “I don’t know how to do any of this without him.”

George was his better. The two-minute older brother who was confidant and sociable, who looked after Henry every fucking day for thirty-five years. Who literally and metaphorically held Henry’s hand throughout all of their hardships. Henry remembers their father’s funeral, how Philip was stone silent, and Bea was high, and their mother was vacant. How George, only eighteen, took charge and read a eulogy. He was a lighthouse built onto the rock, so strong and bright.

Afterwards George had cried, they’d both cried, in each other’s arms. But the next day George had got out of bed and forced Henry to do the same.

“It’s going to be hard; I know.” Alex says, squeezing his hand. “But you’re stronger than you give yourself credit. I mean. Look at me. You left my sorry ass.”

Henry thinks about how Alex had lost himself in his work and how their relationship had degraded over six months of broken promises and missed dinners and sitting alone in their apartment. And how it broke him down into nothing before he’d finally had enough. They’d both had enough.

He’s heard that Alex is doing better now. That he’s finally learning how to have that work/life balance that was only a dream to them back then.

“I’m all alone this time.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes I am. Bea has Michael and the twins. Philip is…well he’s Philip. Mum is completely vacant and our friends are all grieving.”

Henry knows Alex is going to say some placating bullshit like, ‘oh it’s okay you have me,’ like he doesn’t live thousands of miles away.

“You should come stay at the lake house.” Is what Alex says instead.

“What?”

The lake house was their place. Before everything went to shit, they often spent time there, sometimes with their friends, sometimes with Alex’s family, sometimes just the two of them. It’s a haven, really. A place where time doesn’t exist. All sunshine and water and blues skies.

“Come stay at the lake house. Get away from London for a while.”

“But my family-”

“-Be a little selfish for once, H.” Alex turns to him and looks him in the eyes. “I don’t have to be there. You can just come and unwind in the sun. Take a break from this all and have time to grieve properly.”

It’s insane. It’s irresponsible. It’s not possible. He buried his brother an hour ago, his family is falling apart again but.

But this time they all have their own families to fall back on. Their own spouses and kids. Even his mother lives with Philip and Martha and has them to look after her.

Henry lived with George, not out of necessity, but out of love. George who’s dead. George whose dirty tea mug is still on his bedside table and his laundry still in the hamper.

He can’t go back there.

“Okay.” Henry says. “Okay I’ll come with you.”

And, later, it’s hard to get on the plane. But once he’s in the air, he takes his first deep breath in weeks.

[End]

easy tag for @anincompletelist @eusuntgratie @nocoastposts @getmehighonmagic @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @littlemisskittentoes @thinkof-england @happiness-of-the-pursuit @wordsofhoneydew @sparklepocalypse @magicandarchery @sunnysideprince and anyone i've forgotten plus open tag for anyone!!!

[groenendaelfic]

i love YR and i love wille and simon so much but i will be a simon defender till the day i die. i can see both wille’s and simon’s POVs for how they acted but idk as poor POC simon’s actions resonate more with me. regardless, the reason why i say this is because i always see so much more wille support/simon hate online than i do vice versa. im not asking for wille hate but im asking for prepubescent girls to stop supporting wille simply because he’s an attractive white boy. i dont know—maybe im oversimplifying things but what do you think about the split between simom defenders and wille defenders?

I get it. It's not fair but I get it.

Why?

Because Simon is all of us.

I might be able to identify more with Wilhelm when it comes to many things, his personality, his anxiety, his temper... but in essence every single one of us will always have more in common with Simon than with Wilhelm.

It doesn't matter how different our lives, upbringings and the small everyday things which shaped and defined us are from Simon's. It doesn't matter how much I see my younger self reflected in Wilhelm, how much I can relate to his struggles (I mean it does, but for this specific argument it doesn't). My life will still always be closer to Simon's than to Wilhelm's.

We are Simon. Simon fucks up. Simon makes mistakes. Far reaching mistakes, and it's always easier to be self-critical and insecure than not to.

I'm Simon. But I wouldn't have done xyz! (I wouldn't, I'd either have done something worse or nothing at all, which might just be worse still.)

Simon is a teen and he makes teen mistakes. Sometimes understandable ones, sometimes stupid ones, sometimes crazy ones.

It's normal. It's relatable, it's every one of us but different. Of course it's easier to be critical of Simon. To 'hate on' Simon. He is us, but he doesn't always act like we would, nor does he act like the idealized version of the beloved character we want him to be.

He's a teenager and he's flawed and he's human. We love him and we want him to be perfect but he isn't. Of course there's Simon 'hate'. It's not okay, but I get it.

Simon is us, but he makes mistakes we, however unconsciously, think we wouldn't. We think we would do better, or at least we hope so, and so we criticize him.

It's not right, but I also get the urge to do so even if I don't approve.

Wilhelm however? Wilhelm is different.

Wilhelm is a prince. Worse, he's a crown prince and future king. He's His Royal Highness The Crown Prince of Sweden, Duke of Some Historical Province or Another.

His entire existence causes a knee-jerk reaction of defensiveness. At least it does in me.

Him being a minor who didn't choose who he was born as helps, but it's not enough. Yes, his life isn't easy. Yes he's living with pressure none of us can understand. Not the irl crown princess and not rwrb's Henry.

But he also has power and privilege and wealth the likes of which we'll never truly be able to comprehend. No matter what he chooses to do once he's an adult, he'll always have that.

Wilhelm's entire existence is a reflection of most of what's wrong with this world. I cannot in good conscience root for him and I shouldn't like him. We shouldn't romanticize and glorify royalty, not even fictional one, because all their wealth, power and privilege is built on our backs and sustained by our backs.

I should hate him, not feel sorry for him. I shouldn't empathize with him.

And yet Wille is my bb and my fav and I love him and he never did anything wrong in his life. Not ever. Wille is perfect. He deserves the world and I'll defend him and his wrongs to the very end of it and damn everything and everyone else.

Why?

Because if I start to acknowledge, in all seriousness, that any of his mistakes or wrongs are in fact mistakes and deserve (more) consequences, no matter if it's the fact that he's an objectively bad friend to Felice (I'm already getting super defensive typing these words because Wilhelm, my poor bb, had reasons and deserves to be selfish!) or that you never, ever point any gun at anyone, not ever, or any of his other numerous mistakes, then I'm opening up a Pandora's box I cannot close again.

Yes, he's a teenager and he's flawed and he's human. Yes, he makes stupid, far reaching mistakes. Yes, it's everyone else who hands him his power and privilege. Yes, it's all inherited, as is his wealth, but that doesn't make it alright.

You cannot, in good conscience, root for Wilhelm without also acknowledging or at least being aware of the inherent power dynamics at play, and I'm not only talking about Wilhelm and Simon's relationship, but Wilhelm and everyone, including his mother and the royal court and the entire government.

All three need Wilhelm more than he needs them, and once he fully realizes that he's going to be (even more of) a menace.

Wilhelm doesn't have any political power on paper, but that doesn't mean that his actions can't influence and control the entire Swedish legislature for years. That can be good, sure, at least in the long term, but it'll also take away from much needed other laws etc being discussed and passed, ones which would better the lives of many Swedes directly and immediately. That is scary, because it's real, or it could be.

Wilhelm is a minor and Young Royals is captivating, fictional escapism. But my ardent republican heart (of the non US kind) still struggles with not getting immediately defensive when talking about my love for Wilhelm, because Young Royals is also so real and realistic and a reflection of so many things which are still extremely problematic in our oh so progressive, look at how much worse all the other countries are, can't you be happy with what you've got? part of the world in ways many other shows aren't, and Wilhelm and his rank and title and entire existence are at the heart of it.

The biggest 'problem' Young Royals has is that despite the premise, it is so realistic and relatable and well done. It's almost impossible to escape into the fiction of it to a degree where you can solely focus on the cute boys falling in love and the romantic tragedy of their struggles, without also being at the very least peripherally aware of our reality being reflected in every scene.

Young Royals is romantic and hot and heart-wrenching, but it also criticizes the system and society and shows us exactly how little people like Simon, people like us, matter to the upper class, and it does so from the very first episode in which Simon tries his best to stay strong and tells everyone exactly who the country's biggest welfare receivers are. And he's right.

Simon deserves our defense, our support. But I don't feel the need to. I should, because Simon is not as strong as he wants to be, but he's also a normal teen and nothing is easier than looking down on teenagers and people we can identify with or have things in common with. We all do it all the time, willingly or not, consciously or not, thinking we're better, that we'd do better, no matter how much we love them, because not doing so would mean acknowledging our own faults and flaws, would mean we'd have to admit that Simon is doing the best he can in a way most of us probably wouldn't be able to.

Wilhelm however? I can identify with parts of him despite of everything he stands for and not because, and that is scary, because I don't want to have anything in common with a future hereditary head of state.

I don't want to sympathize with royalty, with people who can control others around them with nothing but words, worse their mere existence. People who, were I to address them in anything other than the third person and with a title, would consider me to be the rude one, as would everyone around us.

And yet I do. I do identify with Wilhelm. I sympathize with him. I think I understand him, but scratching the surface of that is dangerous, because no matter how much we need escapism in these hard times romanticizing royalty, sympathizing with them and thinking they're just like us is not only tricky but dangerous.

It's what the elites want, all of them, while they laugh at our plight and profit off of our hard work. It's what gets horrible people elected president and billionaires turned into cool, dudebro heroes. It's a slippery slope and none of them are the exception, no matter how much they try to convince us otherwise.

Of course we get defensive, of course we're so passionate to highlight that Wilhelm's mistakes are okay and are overly critical of Simon's.

Defending Wilhelm is not rational, it's not logical, and yet it is, which is why I will burn down the world in Wille's defense and serve it to him on a silver platter, because my bb deserves everything and his feelings and struggles are valid and who am I to judge. Wille never did anything wrong.

Finally, I get where you're coming from, but please don't make this about prepubescent girls. Or teenage girls. Being a girl that age is hard. Your body and feelings are changing in ways you don't understand, people suddenly treat you differently. Adults, kids, other teens no matter their gender. You are sexualized, and your intelligence and skills are suddenly only of secondary importance at best. It's scary, and even when it's good it's not safe. You always need to be wary and careful lest you have to pay a price for your joyful inattentiveness, a potentially traumatic, life changing price. Being a prepubescent and teenage girl is also wonderful and freeing and eye opening in the best way, but anything you do or say will always be reduced to silly teenage girl, even by other teenage girls, someone to be made fun of and not taken seriously, when in truth nothing requires more strength and tenacity than surviving as a prepubescent and teenage girl. So if fixating on attractive, unattainable white boys helps? Let them and don't judge, no matter your age or gender. It's not perfect, but it's safe. More, it's a safe way to explore your budding sexuality and bond with others along the way, something which is so important when nothing about being a girl that age ever feels safe, not even when you think you can do anything and know everything. That attractive, unattainable (white) boy? Be it Wilhelm or the current boygroup heartthrob of choice? He is going to reveal private things about himself (most likely made up, but that doesn't invalidate how finding out those facts makes you feel) without demanding a price, you can develop an intense parasocial relationship with him and learn and grow from it, it can help you in many ways which aren't obvious at first (I still keep up with my teenage boygroup and listen to every one of their new albums even though it's been twenty years and I've had musical anhedonia for almost as long), and he will never, ever grope you or insult you or make you feel awkward and insecure, nor will he ever pressure you to do something you're not ready for (unless it's to spend money you don't have on useless stuff you desperately need). Please don't be condescending or judgmental of prepubescent girls, especially ones having to grow up in the age of social media and smartphones everywhere. Fixating on the attractive white boy is a matter of self-defense. It doesn't mean they aren't aware of what they're doing or that doing so isn't ideal. They know. Everyone is constantly telling them and making them feel guilty about it. Please don't be one of them.

[thedenofravenpuff]

To Be Kind to Yourself - Fibromyalgia

Suddenly hit by a random memory from my journey of dealing with fibromyalgia. For once not about my still burning rage against my old GP. Giving me the urge to share some about my past journey.

Long talk about chronic illness

Freshly diagnosed but already struggling with the symptoms of my chronic illness getting worse, I was desperately clinging onto any hope to keep working. I didn't want to lose the familiarity, the career I had worked so hard for.

I was placed with kind and caring consultants and advisors to help guide me through a life with chronic pain, while agreeing that if they could keep me in the work force, it was best for everyone.

At the time they didn't fully understand how much I was hiding my pain. Sure I pushed through the medical system to get a diagnosis for what I was suffering from, but I also had another very dire issue - A late in life autism diagnosis and a lifetime of masking to be "acceptable" and "fit in".

My consultant helping me to adjust my work place to better accommodate my needs, only ever talked about the issues of my physical pain. I did listen that far, but sadly... since she focused on the issue of pain, even though I talked about my fatigue.. that I decided the pain was more important to worry about than my issues with fatigue.

So I pushed myself through the fatigue. I forced myself to move when my body refused. I limped, I shook, I trembled, I cried in the bathroom stall. And only reported when the fatigued was pushed so far the chronic pain truly kicked in. Which only caused more and longer sickdays.

I was on part time sickleave, and stupidly pushed myself to "make up for most time". I misunderstood my consultant's intentions being the focus on work, and not a focus on my well being.

Not until I broke down during a meeting with my advisor who called in my consultant so they together could sit me down and figure out where the communication broke down.

Where they could finally explain to me it WASN'T about keeping me working, it was about keeping me HAPPY and HEALTHY. Clearly I loved my job and clung to it, so their intentions had only been to help me keep something that was obviously important to me. But NOT at the cost of my health and well being.

And I was coached through to better word the issues and my own misunderstandings from THEIR misunderstandings. My consultant immediately changing her language about chronic illness to not just be about the pain, but inclusive of the many other symptoms too.

My advisor became my therapist, as they both agreed on putting me on full time sickleave, to give my body time to recover while working on my own understanding of my condition. And help me bit by bit unmask. Being sick and masking was just not a healthy combination. I had to be open about my symptoms and my changing health.

It was a battle on its own. I was still stubborn to get back to work, once I was deemed healthy enough. I had to learn a lot about myself and my own limitations, and why I was so eager to people please, to "earn" a "right to exist", to take up as little space as possible.

To this day I feel nothing but gratitude for these amazing women working their hardest to help me understand, that I cannot "walk it off" when suffering from a lifelong condition. That I'll HAVE to adapt to take up more space than I ever dared to allow myself.

I hated the thought of being a burden. Instead I learned.. all people in my life never saw me as one. And they all only want to help me where ever they can. All I have to do is reach out and ask. I don't need to "earn" anything. Least of all kindness.

Just a memory and part of my journey I felt an urge to share. I guess a reminder to myself how far I've come. To be able to remove the mask I've carried all my life and allow myself to be honest to others. And kind towards myself.

Today I'm on disability pension, a hard blow to my pride considering my battle to stay working. But I had to understand, my body cannot keep up. And I got nothing to prove.

Despite all the fears.. it turned out alright.

My life is still meaningful. Better in plenty of ways. Would I rather be working and free from my illness? Oh definitely, absolutely. But it doesn't mean the life I'm stuck with isn't worth living.

I wasn't the only one struggling to get me here. I had kind people to help and support me the whole way. I can never hope to repay them or truly show my gratitude for the effort put into helping me on my way.

Except for one thing, that I know they would want.

That I stay kind to myself.

[peggysrpmemes]

FNAF FAN LYRICS STARTERS

Lyric starters from various fan made fnaf songs, from 2015-2020(ish). Featuring lyrics from Living Tombstone, GT Music, Giffnilla, and others. Feel free to change any pronouns or punctuation as desired.

“For many years we've been all alone.”

“Now we're stuck here to decay”

“I just don't get it, why do you want to stay?”

“Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind.”

“I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river.”

“Is this revenge I am seeking? Or seeking someone to avenge me?”

“Stuck in my own paradox, I wanna set myself free.”

“I wish I lived in the present with the gift of my past mistakes.”

“Justification is killing me, but killing isn't justified.”

“Kick back and grab a slice!”

“If you get hurt on the job we cannot cover your loss.”

“Why did they hire me? This is insane!”

“Just wait for what I've got in store!”

“You're the next victim that I'm coming for!”

“So while you're here, try not to die.”

“After tonight, I might not work again!”

“I'm dripping sweat, turn up the fan.”

“Maybe a raise? Cuz I think I've earned it, man!”

"Listen close, follow my instructions."

"There is no time for introductions."

"You'll be the one to save us."

"Did we deserve this?"

“Try your best to hold onto sanity.”

“All eyes are on you…”

“What have I done to deserve this damnation?”

“You might look at me, and think you're going crazy,”

“I lost it long ago, you're not alone baby.”

“We'll always seek, We'll always find!”

“I feel like I'm dying.”

“I hear a sound…”

“It's pro’lly just a mouse,”

“Wait… Now I hear it…”

“RUN!”

“What's that sound? I know someone's there!”

“You can't deter me this time.”

“Every night always, it never changes.”

“But we can make accidents happen.”

"This can't be real!"

“There's something sick and sadistic about this place.”

“Feeling like this place is my tomb.”

“No one will believe me, so I gotta fight.”

“Don't scream, you'll just make it worse.”

“Free, let me go free!”

“Stay calm, stay calm.”

“Wish I had a 9 to 5.”

“Find an inner strength within.”

“If I've learned one thing it's that Don't respond to Craigslist ads.”

“I really hate you, stop getting in my way.”

“'Cause I've been staring at my death so many times.”

“I wish I could just block the doors.”

“I got this headache and my life's on the line.”

“The nightmare repeats itself every time.”

“Stay awake until the sun will shine.”

“I have this urge to kill and show that I'm alive.”

“I'm getting sick from these apologies from people with priorities that their life matters so much more than mine.”

“No one will listen and no one will understand.”

“Things haven't been the same since my birthday.”

“Can I get a grown-up to check in my closet?”

“Just heard a noise, I don't know where it went.”

“But what if I'm in Hell and I'm already dead?”

“Shut the door, better keep it closed.”

“Come closer, we don't bite!”

“I don't believe that for one second!”

“I got a flashlight and I know how to use it.”

“Oh my God, I'm on my own!”

“Maybe death will set me free …?”

“We live eternally.”

“Time for the main attraction!”

“I'm not the bad guy, I'm just a bit surprising.”

“There was a time, not so long ago at all, I was just like you, can you hear my call?”

“I'll be checking in, but you'll never be aware.”

“You may say that I'm breaking your mind. In my opinion, you're much too kind.”

“But don't get me wrong, you were very brave.”

“When faced with friendly singing animals, you never caved.”

“Is it because I can't be her?”

“I can feel my heart breaking.”

“I can't fix you.”

“This is what happens when you leave it to someone else. If you want it done right you should just do it yourself.”

“You might make everyone happy but you're dead inside, just like me.”

“Prepare for the horrors.”

“This night will keep repeating over and over.”

“You'll never be alone again”

[irefy]

So I went looking for crossovers between two of my favorite series and found distressingly little fic where the characters from both series actually interact so I uh. Did it myself. Enjoy :)))))

When Arthur was told that socerers had been caught, he was not anticipating the four writhing children before him. Pushed to their knees with a force that Arthur, if he weren’t the king, would wince at, they shouted…odd things. Like-

“LET US GO OR FEEL THE WRATH OF BOOMERANG!”

—that.

Arthur’s fingers twitched with the strain of resisting his most desperate desire; to pinch his brow. He’ll have a headache by the time this is done, he can feel it.

Their shouts weren’t the only thing that was odd; aside from the fact that they were literal children, they were all wearing…strange clothes. Vibrant reds, blues, and greens, in styles he’d never seen before.

They continued yelling, speaking over each other at a pace Arthur could not possibly hope to follow. A black haired boy dressed in vibrant red robes with gold accents (and just about the worst burn scar he’s ever seen holy shit) was quite literally spitting sparks. Not even mentioning the boy’s sparkling gold eyes.

Arthur wanted to sigh.

“Leon. What is this?”

“The…sorcerers, my lord.” Leon said, equally baffled. Arthur had known him long enough that he could tell what that specific pause and strain of the voice meant, thank you.

Arthur cannot keep from grinding his teeth. He moved his attention from the kids to his guard, who suddenly looked a lot less triumphant and a whole lot more scared.

“Why are there children on my floor, Sir Kent?”

The sweat visibly raced down the man’s forehead. Arthur absently wondered which droplet would fall from his chin first.

“The—they’re sorcerers, my lord.”

“Yes, I can see that.” As if the sparks and golden eyes didn’t already tell the tale.

“Okay, would someone mind explaining where the fuck we are?!”

Arthur jumped, and his eyes immediately flew to a small girl decked out in greens who, Arthur estimated, couldn’t be any older than fourteen. (Arthur did not have much experience with children, but what he did have experience with is overeager teenagers. Specifically, overeager teenagers trying to lie about their ages to become knights. That was a fun conversation to have with Lord Pelfrey.)

Several of his knights paled, and their eyes slid to her in their scandal. Arthur shuddered. If they thought that was bad, they should try to grow up with Morgana.

Arthur very, very quickly grew to respect women’s vocabularies.

“Toph!” The slightly older looking girl dressed in blues that matched her eyes hissed.

“I mean…that’s not exactly the worst way she could’ve asked,” Said the boy in blue.

“Sokka!” Screeched the girl who had a strange amount of likeness to the boy—to Sokka. Siblings, maybe?

“Cool it Sweetness, it’s not like we all haven’t heard worse from Sparky.”

“Hey! I don’t swear that fucki—that much!” The boy in red (sparky?) shouted. Arthur’s attention, and everyone else’s, it seems, was drawn to the shout. ‘Sparky’ faltered, then paled, and his widened (still gold) eyes nervously darted around the room.

The girl, (Sweetness? Not something that Arthur would ever name his child, but he had never claimed to understand the naming conventions of sorcerers) just hung her head in despair.

Arthur sighed. And finally gave into an urge he had been previously denying himself. He massaged his brow. Yup. There’s that headache.

“…You’re in Camelot,” Arthur said, and then sighed, for what felt like the hundredth time today. He really should’ve listened to the universe early this morning and just stayed in bed. It would’ve saved him so much trouble (and so many headaches.)

“Ha ha, real funny. I get what you’re trying to do here, I do. But you can’t get passed me, The Great and oh-so-wise adventurer Sokka. Where are we really?”

Arthur blinked. What? Do these children collectively have a head injury?

“He wasn’t lying,” said Toph.

Sokka spluttered. Arthur’s bad feeling increased tenfold. Yep. Definitely should’ve stayed in bed.

Then the room exploded.

Well okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. There wasn’t any fire or heat, but the floor moved, in a way that very abruptly reminded Arthur that these children were not just children and were, in fact, corrupted by the evils of sorcery.

Arthur shook his head, dazed. He pushed himself off his side and onto his elbow. His ears rang, and he reached toward the back of his head.

His fingers came away slightly sticky and with a familiar metallic scent—a scent that had cold dread pooling in his stomach.

Arthur pushed himself to his feet, even as he swayed. The floor moved and shifted under his feet, quite literally. Arthur leaned against the pillar he was thrown into. The air was clouded, filled with the dust and airborne sediment caused by shifting rock.

Arthur coughed, as his lungs desperately tried to expel the hazy air. He covered his nose and mouth with his hand. Lord knows breathing in this stuff can’t be good for him.

Harsh hacks echoed from every corner, accusing and mocking in turn. Arthur stumbled along, through the mounds of settling wreckage and to the wall—or, what remained of it.

Arthur stared.

Where his wall once was there was now a gaping hole, a jagged vulnerability. The sun bounced off the dust filling the room, leaving behind brilliant white afterimages that made Arthur blink. The sky shone a bright, brilliant blue, as if the wall to his throne room hadn’t just been blown out by the magical capabilities of a child. The sorcerers were nowhere to be found.

Uneven footsteps pounded their way up behind him in a familiar drum of worry. Arthur turned away from the crumbling wall.

“Sire, should I assemble the Round Table?” Leon asked, even as blood beaded in a shallow cut above his eyebrow.

Arthur hesitated. Too old eyes in too young faces flashed in a tantalizing vision of familiar pain. He closed his eyes and removed his hand.

Immediately, the smell of acrid smoke assaulted him. The memory of the sting of dust, the hacked coughs of the knights, and terrified eyes of Sir Kent.

“Yes,” Arthur said, eyes fluttering back open. Leon’s troubled blue gaze met his. An unpleasant weight settled in Arthur’s stomach, and this time he did not even try to resist the temptation to sigh.

“Ensure they are informed of the situation. We will convene in the council chambers and set off immediately after.”

Arthur’s eyes took one last sweep of the decimated throne room. The broken wall,

and the cracked floor; the people, servants and knights alike, climbing to their feet, white-faced and wide-eyed.

His fists clenched.

“We will stop these sorcerers. I give you my word.”

[papirouge]

Hi it's me, the anon who sent you the Romeo and Juliet black actress ask like a month ago lol (I try to sometimes take breaks from social media when it gets too stressful as a way to "detox" myself).

Thank you once again for the thoughtful answer. I try not to care about what men think and say on social media, but sometimes it can hurt (same goes when women talk badly about black women, specially when it comes from other bw). I'm trying to always be mindful and remind myself there are a lot of weirdos and trolls online so I shouldn't take their opinions to heart. I'm also trying to resist the urge to look at the comments section of a video I know it's going to make me mad.

Anyways, you said you were blocked by a black woman tiktoker for calling out her male pandering. I can understand that lol I literally just got blocked by a black woman on insta who insisted on defending black men leaving their children by basically blaming slavery "legacy" and white men for their absence 😐 Yet somehow I'm the vilain and traitor for actually holding them accountable. And all that mammying for what? For black men to then turn around and blame fatherless homes on black women?

What I'm personally passionate about, besides bw decentering men (specially deconstructing the black male worshipping), it's bw accepting their natural beauty and features. Specially our hair! I got into the whole leveling up/luxury movement for black women, which I love but it's amazing how even these women can't let go of the weaves. So many black women will get defensive when you question their worship of straight hair (or curly hair to a lesser extent) and swear up and down it's their choice because they personally prefer it that way, or their natural hair it's too complicated to take care of, and so on. And other races are picking up on the self hatred black women harvor; I saw a few days ago a tiktok by a pale skinned man and he was making fun of kinky type 4 hair. And you would think black women would be cussing him out on the comments section right? Nope. Literally they were agreeing, calling kinky hair ugly and saying crap like "My 4c could never!" 🙄 I understand why so many bw are insecure about their features, but I wish they would keep these comments to themselves and instead encouraged positivity.

I even see aggresive comments in videos where bw try to encourage other bw to love their natural hair and not succumb to the brainwashing of perceiving our hair as ugly or unkept. I mostly feel sorry for the young black girls seeing those type of comments from insecure bw who can't accept their hair and try to paint women accepting their natural hair as the aggresive ones for questioning their conditioning. It's just sad. Beauty standards for bw are crazy nowadays, the clownish drag queen makeup on many famous bw and influencers, the surgeries and beauty procedures, the hair products it's honestly maddening. There's a mental health crisis affecting black girls and women no one seems to want to acknowledge, higher suicide rates, insecurity about our looks and overcompensating for not being perceived as "femenine", rampant sexual assault, rape and dv... Even men have their issues being named "the male loneliness epidemic" yet bw have nothing like that...

I do have hope things will get better, I try to be positive on seeing the rise of leveling up content and bw trying to better themselves, even if not always perfect.

Hi anon! It makes me so happy to see you back! I love having anonq back and see what they've been up to🧡

I think that's something I probably already told you in my earlier response but, best advice I would give to any Black women is to divest from men. I think slavery/colonialism has made us the most male oriented racial demographic and we have so much work to do. But we have to accept we cannot "save" everyone and that black men worshipper will always be the dominant masses, and that bm will always find way to shun black women down. I could enumerate countless occurence where black men find excuse for their own shortcomings (blaming white supremacists, racism, crack epidemic beinf 'shoved' onto black communities as if Black ppl didn't have the brain to just not...take drugs, 'etc) BASICALLY all issues affecting bm is the cause of a SYSTEMIC pressure....but black women? Oh no we just bear the consequences of our individual actions and daring to argue that bm have a role in the alarming rates of single motherhood rates in the black community and them championning feminicide is "hating of black men". Well I guess I'm a Black men hater then

Oh and please, be careful with all those so called black women divestor who initially may come off as making great points (compelling Black women to open their dating option) but they will dogpile on any black women they esteem don't live up their weird BWE (black women emower) kumbaya. I used to follow one on TikTok, and she one day LASHED OUT at a Black creator who was more of the sjw/libfem type. Turns out she became pregnant with a bum and made videos to cope and saying she was just in love and gave in to give a chance to their "relationship". Well, that BWE chick went OFF ar her and made plentiful of video dragging her (directly stitching the black creator) and it was highkey so weird to witness bc girl, stop patronizing the life of someone you literally don't know??. The Black creator straight up told her to leave her alone and that shit lowkey told me that BWE creator had a tip on her shoulder.... I recently got my confirmation when she made yet another video dunking on a fellow black woman just because she had to audacity she didn't date... USAmerican black men. And that BWE creator was seething abt it, saying it was xenophobia (???) hm sorry but having dating preference ain't xenophobia - otherwise all the Black women bragging about NEVER daring a white men are racist/xenophobic too? And it was so ironic to see comments agree with the bwe creator saying non ADOS Black Americans are so xenophobic etc... while themselves emphasizing how that black creator she stitched was not ADOS and therefore other'ing her by her foreign black ethnicity 💀 I eventually made a comment calling them out for their clownery & hypocrisy in bothering a Black woman harmless dating preference and that they precisely behaved like the average black male dusty mad at Black women having preferences and that Usamerican men would NEVER clown a non ADOS Black man not waiting to date Black women. This behavior was so typically female catfight STILL fighting to defend Black Americans honor/desirability when they very obviously don't deserve this caping. .....ANYWAYS : she blocked me💀 Morality: don't believe all those BWE bc most of them still have their deep seated Black men Worship in them (even if it's just ADOS)

The ONLY black 'BWE'(?) creator I would recommend you is Chrissie. She passed the vibe check so many times.. I'm not surprised she doesn't really get along with all those BWE channels bc she indeed clocked them out big time with their deep seated black men worshipping/obsession and bitterness. I'm not exaggerating when I say her channel changed my life. She set the record straight with bw hating their natural hair (I REALLY recommend this video), gives us awesome strategy to deal with colorists (which has been very useful for me when interacting with a colorist bm online) etc

What I love so much abt Chrissie is that since she's INTJ and I an INFJ, her way lf thinking are quite similar and every she says falls into place so smoothly in my head. I also like homegirl has a life outside YouTube and that she pivoted her content more about levelling up and not those gettho ass colorism/wig discourses. She basically said what she said, her old videos about lt are still here, but she clearly said she was moving upwards, and I love it for her.

I truly recommend her channel bc I feel all your questioning (beauty standards in the Black community, colorism, featurism, etc.) will be answered there (Chrissie has made A LOT of video - I recommend you the longest/live bc she browse through a lot of topics)

Oh and one last thing about self care/love as a black woman : surround yourself with people who look LIKE YOU. Eons ago, I followed here on Tumblr a girl who made a magazine, and it featured onlt White models. The girl was indian, and she suffered from some pathologic hate for her face and I couldn't help but think that the reason she might feel this way is because she surrounded with the physical archetype of what the fashion industry deemed as beautiful : skinny, white, blonde, etc. This user remained in my head as to what NOT to do to level up my sense of self worth and love for my features. I basically have a (private) board on my Pinterest dedicated to beautiful black women. Those who look like me : 4c hair, wide round nose, darkskin... I browse it whenever I try to find inspiration for my art but also find model bases for my model benchmark for my upcoming shootings.

Even on Tumblr you won't see me reblog white/non Black women like that. I want to platform Black women FIRSTHAND.

YOu saw what they did with east asian men : they were saw has major lower barrel 20 years ago. Today, thanks to kpop/Korea soft power corrective promotion marketing tactics, Koreans/east asians men are rivaling with white men in terms of attractiveness & sex appeal for younger generation. That's what I want for black women. I want to show that black can & HAVE to expand their dating option to have fulfilling dating life, and be respected by other demographic of men.. that's also why I'm working on magazine for that purpose...but huuish it's still a secret 👀

[periwinckles]

Letters from New Panem - It would have happened anyway

Thump.

If Rye throws that ball to the wall one more time I’m smacking him in the head with it. This is our third day of lockdown and we are all sick of it as is, but there is nothing else we can do. We were told to wait after all. 

On the 74th Reaping day, when all the district was gathered in the main square to send two more children to slaughter the sirens sounded before anything else happened. Alarmed faces everywhere, not knowing what to do. After a couple of minutes, Mayor Undersee ordered everyone home, calling for an instant lockdown, and told us to wait for further instructions by our tv sets. Half an hour later we got a 2 minute report claiming the Capitol had fallen, and the President was dead. We were told to wait for further information. That was 3 days ago.

Thump.

“Rye, knock it off, will ya?” Dad snaps, obviously annoyed. 

Being trapped in your own house is getting on everyone's nerves. First day was easy. We baked as usual, and kept our routine. Second day it was obvious that we wouldn't be able to open the bakery, so no use in baking. Third day and we are considering breaking the lockdown just to get rid of all the excess bread, before it all goes inedible.

“I’m telling ya Dad, Peet and I can sneak around after dark, no one will catch us” Rye is now throwing his tennis ball in his own hand while he makes his case. 

“Besides, everyone has been inside their homes for three days. What if we don't hear anything else from the Mayor, or the capitol for a week? A month? Who knows who might be starving by now?” 

His eyes meet mine at the mention of “starving” and he knows I know who he is referring to. Of course I don't want her to starve, which will inevitably happen if she isn't allowed to leave her house to go hunting. We both come to a silent understanding: today we are distributing that bread after dark, even if my dad doesn't allow it. 

“Just let me think for a second, boys, maybe if we…”

“Dad! DAAAAD!”

Wheat comes running down the stairs to the bakery kitchen, where we are all seated, and all eyes are on him.

“The tv is on again!”

We run up the stairs, bread baskets and tennis ball forgotten on the kitchen table. Mom is already sitting on the couch in front of the tv, her eyes hard on the tv set, as an image of mayor Undersee appears on screen.

“Why is our Mayor on Tv?” The question is out of my mouth before I know it “Have you ever seen him on tv?” I ask my Dad, but only get a silent nod in response, and a hand gesture asking me to be quiet. 

“Dear citizens of Panem

Each district Mayor will read the following statement to their respective district. The Capitol has fallen to the hands of the Rebellion. We are pleased to inform you that said rebellion came to fruition with minimal casualties. That only happened because the rebellion's leaders got classified information that allowed them to take the Capitol without open war. 

We cannot divulge the whole extent of said information. 

What we can and will say is this: The information came in letters that were sent from the future, specifically three years from now. The first time around rebellion happened at the expense of many lives. So the nation of New Panem decided to use time-travel technology to send letters carrying specific information, valuable information that allowed us to be here today.

Many lives were spared this way. But meddling with time lines comes at a price. Each district will have to take certain measures to guarantee that their future isn't completely turned upside down and collapses. Your Mayor will give you further instructions. “

Mayor Undersee lays down the paper he was reading from and reaches down for a handkerchief to clean his forehead. We don't dare to take our eyes from the screen but we all feel the weight in the room. I can't stop wringing my hands, and suddenly I feel the urge to go pick up Rye's tennis ball, just to have something to do with my hands. I never get to it, because Mayor Undersee is already addressing the cameras, this time without a script:

“District twelve

We took a hard blow during the war that was now avoided. According to what the state of New Panem told us, only 856 district 12 citizens survived the war.”

He pauses as if he is just now processing what he just said and we all let it sink down. 856. That’s roughly 10 percent of our population. 

“Out of the 856, only 183 came back to rebuild the district that was completely bombed and destroyed. 

The good news is that 7000 of you are getting a second chance at life. But we need to ask some sacrifices from those 183. You see, we need to have some sort of continuous line, an anchor of sorts, to make sure that the change of events doesn’t create some sort of chain reaction. We need some events to stay the same, to dilute the big change we made. What we pretty much need is for those 183 residents to make their lives as similar as possible to what they are in the alternate timeline. Of course there will be differences. But mainly we need them to do two things: one, they need to stick to district twelve as their main district residency. And second, we need them to marry the same person they married in the original timeline, and produce the same offspring. 

As I speak, peacekeepers left letters at the door of each house, each letter addressed to a resident. In that letter you will find an armband. Come tomorrow, you will resume your life as usual, but every resident will be required to wear their armband visible at all times. If you receive a black armband it means that you were one of the original war casualties. If you receive a white armband it means you survived the war. Red armband means that you were one of the 183 that helped rebuild district 12.

That will be all for now. 

I will see you all tomorrow.”

As soon as he stops talking the tv shuts down and I am running down those stairs, reaching for the bakery door, Rye right on my heels. Exactly as the Mayor said, there are five envelopes waiting for us at the threshold.  

The smile barely registers on my face when I see the red fabric coming out of my envelope, until I lift my eyes to meet the rest of my family. They are all holding black armbands.

[occasionallythreeowls]

Day Five: Wolf Swap

The Girl in Red cannot for the life of her figure out this strange little creature.

She can hardly believe that this absent-minded little fool shares genetic material with her sorrow-marked siblings, each of them utterly and irreparably bound to the earth.

And then there’s this walking balloon.

She drifts across the field the Girl in Red calls home, delicate fingers tracing the thin veins of wildflower petals. A faint smile on her pale face, like she’s in on some secret.

She doesn’t like when this girl looks at her. Like she understands something about her without either of them saying a word to each other. It reminds her all too much of her sister in white, wise beyond wisdom and distant from this world and every other.

“Hello,” the strange girl says. Her voice is soft, weak. “Are you exploring too?”

The Girl in Red turns up her nose.

“You’re not the fun one.”

“Ginger?” the strange girl asks with another little smile. “Sorry. It’s my turn to go to Grandmother’s house. But I had some time, so I thought I’d check on the flowers.”

Check on the flowers. The Girl in Red fights the urge to feed this little cretin to the Werewolf. She sighs, then cocks her head to one side. Considers. She’s not supposed to see this one. The thing in the lake has already marked this girl. So why is she here? And why can this child, who’s not yet started to truly grow, see her now?

“There’s another girl in the forest,” the strange girl adds after a moment of silence. “She looks a bit like you. Are you sisters?”

She’s all the good parts of me, running away and away and away and I can never catch her hand.

“Yeah. She’s my sister.”

The strange girl smiles even wider. A breeze catches in her hair, causing it to gently sway like weeds in water.

“That’s great! She’s really nice. Does your family have a cottage out here? Our grandmother lives just down the path, at the edge of the woods.”

“We’re here and there,” the Girl in Red replies. “Where we need to be.”

The strange girl frowns.

“I suppose that’s where everyone is,” she says. “Where they need to be. Even when they feel lost.” She looks at the Girl in Red curiously. “Do you ever feel lost?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Oh,” the strange girl says, then smiles sheepishly. “Because I feel pretty lost right now. Know how to get back to the path?”

Follow the light ‘till you find the lake. There’s someone very important there, waiting for you. They’ve been waiting for you for a long, long time.

“Find my sister. She’s got a good sense of direction.”

“I wish I knew this forest better,” the strange girl admits. “This place, it seems like it doesn’t want to be known. Maybe I should respect that.”

You aspire to know so much. That hunger, it’s almost as great as ours.

“It’s a big forest. People who don’t live out here find trouble more than they find anything else. It’s only when you belong here that you start to know everywhere interesting.”

The strange girl’s expression softens.

“If I go to find your sister,” she says, “will you come with me? Maybe we can all play together, or just spend some time. It would be nice.”

I can’t leave this place. None of us can. We just pace and fester and hunger and wait.

“No. I’m not done playing. Have fun with my sister. She likes gentle games.”

The strange girl looks somber for a moment. Then she nods, taking a moment to look up at the patch of sky above them, one of the only ones visible from the forest. Here the light is golden, the sky a deep, lonesome blue. The last of the light is being swallowed up by the long night to come.

“Oh, goodness, it’s almost dark! I need to hurry!” the strange girl says. “Are you sure you’ll be okay by yourself?”

The Girl in Red nods.

“Like I said. I know this place. Even in the dark I know every turn.” She picks a flower and pulls off the petals one by one. “Run along. I’m not yours anyway.”

The strange girl looks confused at her words, but finally relents, and walks away. She turns as the fading light catches in her hair, weaving gold into the black.

“I hope I see you again.”

You’ll be swallowed whole before you’ll ever get that chance, little thing.

The Girl in Red just waves.

[moriarty1234]

T*LC Refutation (but decidedly NOT johnlock refutation)

Part - 3 : Everything wrong with their versions of the words "subtext" and "symbolism".

[Note: I love and ship johnlock because I saw it for myself in the show when I watched it and was part of the general audience in the past. I even want it to become canon in some Holmes adaption in the future. But T*lc needs to get sucked into obscurity and forgotten. Other fandoms like Good Omens, etc., are following the same rhetoric in their "meta" posts, and that needs to go. This is crucial for our basic critical thinking skills and objectivity.]

Now, let's discuss about the two things t*lcers talk about the most in their posts: Subtext and Symbolism.

a.) Subtext:

Real definition of subtext: Subtext is implied text in the simplest words. Meaning, something needs to be there in the plain text for the viewer to be led to the subtextual implications of the said plain text.

This means the plain text gets the main priority all the time out of the two.

Fake (t*lc) version of the definition of subtext: An element that tells a brand new story in the background, which only a handful of people in a large audience can pick up on because they're the *experts* and everyone else is a "casual". Plain text is useless and it can burn in the trash. (though only when the plain text doesn't support t*lc).

Read this article on the hierarchy of evidence, and feel free to throw it at anyone who claims to know about something for sure, just because they're the expert in that field, next time. Huge thanks to Kim for sending me this link and discussing the whole thing with me.

Expert opinion is literally at the bottom. It doesn't count as anything if you want your college paper to get approved.

You should know that much, if you're such an expert. :P

b.) Symbolism:

In the simplest words, symbolism is the idea that things represent other things. It is used in fictional stories all the time to enhance the writing style, and to urge the audience to think deeper.

But here's the thing: "Enhance" is the key word here. You cannot tell an entire story only through symbolisms. Symbolisms and subtext are only used to highlight what's already there in the plain text.

Everyone outside the t*lc echo-chamber knows that the general audience makes up for the majority of the entire audience. Their interpretations about the source material are important. Most people aren't going to keep an eye on every single molecule of their screens on which they watch the show. And writers do need their stories to come across. If they kept narrating everything through only obscure codes and symbolisms, nobody is going to get the story. Their entire efforts would be useless.

Moreover, t*lcers don't seem to understand the difference between symbolisms and allegories, as my brilliant friend Kim pointed out.

The key difference here is that allegories are the ones that tend to have a fixed meaning in the story, when they're meant to represent something abstract.

Symbolisms, on the other hand, tend to be arbitrary in their meanings. Take the colour pink, for example. It used to represent masculinity in the Roman times. Look how the times changed, and it has become the epitome of femininity now!

Here's a more insightful take from How to Read Literature Like a Professor (a book one of the t*lc people themselves rec'ed. Apparently they cherry-picked here too) :

If something such as symbolism is so arbitrary that its meaning changes from time to time, and from person to person (indovidual opinions), do you really think it is reliable to tell an entire story? No.

That's why the literary device "symbolism" is just used to enhance what the general audience can already see in the plain text.

Most of the symbolisms these people come up with in their meta posts are not even real. They just experience patternicity and think they've figured everything out. They really haven't. And in the name of sources, they just say, "Read my meta!", or "Here, read my friend's meta," or provide any other incredibly unreliable and cherry-picked links.

Why would anyone read your meta when it's clear what you wrote is obviously coming from some sort of bias? You guys are not even consistent in your theories half of the time.

You don't even know the difference between symbolisms and allegories, or even the true meaning of subtext, given how much you keep claiming to be experts in literature and cinema.

Pulling claims out of thin air that BBC Sherlock is a slow-burn romance because the BBC station asked Moffat and Gatiss to do that, etc., doesn't help anything.

Mind you, I would've made this post even if johnlock had become canon in BBC Sherlock. A logical fallacy is still a logical fallacy, even though someone might come to the correct conclusion through it accidentally.

That's why most of the t*lc style meta posts feel weird and off-putting, even though they might look clever on the surface, because they usually tend to use a lot of fancy words.

Part-2: What's wrong with their actual meta posts?

Parts- 4 and 5: Harmful aspects of T*LC (4) and Conclusion (5).

T*LC refutation (but NOT johnlock refutation) master post.

[these-detestable-hands]

Truly an Ask Game Tuesday.

1, 7, 8, 14, 16, 18, 25

Honestly, just answer them slowly and when you have time. These are your fan mails. You don't reply to ALL of your fan mails in one go!

Yippee I love answering questions as soon as I get them.

1. The character everyone gets wrong

Valter from fe8. Listen. I know he acts vile and Riev directly says he has raped women and it's heavily implied Valter wants to rape Eirika but please hear me out.

Valter acts like this because of the cursed lance. This isn't a story of a cruel man who hurts others for fun, it's a story of a man who fell victim to a curse. In the Duessel and Cormag A support, they say the lange only corrupts those who are already bad people and I think this is stupid cause:

A. I don't really believe in good or bad people, only good and bad actions so it doesn't make much sense that it would affect Valter but not Cormag, but whatever I guess.

B. They say Valter was always evil and the lance just made him worse but that's not giving him credit for how he was before. Maybe he had violent urges to kill and rape before, but it means he did a good job of controlling himself and not letting it show. Maybe he felt guilty that he had those urges, maybe it was something he was actively working on, only for the cursed lance to ruin all his progress.

Valter has the opportunity to be an incredibly deep and fun character but it's completely ignored because IS did not choose to flesh him out and so the fandom takes his character at face value!! I think a sacred stones remake would be good because it would allow them to flesh out Valter (and the other generals) more and he really needs it. He's such an important villain but he's treated like crap by both the devs and fandom!!!

7. What character do you hate, not because of canon, but because of the fandom?

Kahaku probably. I mean I already didn't like him very much but the fandom is infuriating. He's strange and does bad things and hurts Fushi's loved ones but people just ignore that for the sake of shipping :/

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

The spy x family manga has a good balance of showing all three protagonists equally because they're equally important (though there's a little extra attention given to Twilight because he's the protagonist protagonist) but the anime gives way too much attention to Yor and Anya and the fandom doesn't like Twilight very much so people are happy about this. It sucks because beyond being a comedy, spy x family has an amazing story but the anime reduces it to silly Yor and Anya shenanigans so there's NONE of the espionage and fictional politics that I signed up for.

14. That one thing you see in fics all the time

I don't read much fanfiction actually and I'm very picky with what little I do read.

16. You can't understand why so many people like this thing

The canaries in dungeon meshi!!! Obviously Mithrun is amazing but we hardly see the others at all, I genuinely cannot fathom why people like them when we hardly have any idea of their personalities outside of daydream hour. I didn't even remember their names until I saw people constantly posting about them. It's also just a little upsetting cause of the one extremely sexualized brown woman :(

18. It's absolutely criminal the fandom has been sleeping on...

Honestly everything in witch hat atelier. The only characters people ever post about are Qifrey and Olruggio (as a ship) and Coco and Agott (also as a ship)

It's a good manga where the fandom is being lost to shipping. It just sucks. I wish people would actually give a crap about the story or the side characters but NOPE as always people are just shipping. Also side note Coco and Agott are 12 and Coco is dealing with the severe guilt of functionally killing her mom, now is NOT the time to be worrying about getting a gf.

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Ok so in ace attorney 4, the antagonist Kristoph has a really big secret but won't say what it is. He's executed before you can find out what it is. People hate this because it's annoying to not know but honestly I don't get it.

Kristoph is a very secretive and calculated killer, a lot like Cylira or Benedict (if Benedict killed people) and it makes perfect sense for him to never confess whatever secret he had. I like that he dies and we don't know what it was, it fits for his character.